#✨ANGSTY IDEAS✨

[midnightmasterpiece]

once my anti depressants kick in (could be like a month) (and hopefully this prescription works for me) my sapphic elucien f1 au is soooo gonna get written

I have so many ideas and there’s so much content leading up to this weekends grand prix in miami that I have so many ideas

[un-pearable]

as delightfully heartbreaking the garmadon redux resurrection is i will never let go of my little bro’s au where harumi fucks it up and gets completely steamrolled by movie!Garmadon showing up instead, being incredibly confused AND confusing, and kicking ass

[chaoticbardlady99]

I Wondered If I Could Come Home? (Astarion x F! Reader)

Synopsis- It’s been 4 months since you last saw Astarion and 3 months since you killed the Netherbrain with your other companions. Shortly after, you settled down in Silverymoon to begin a life out there and try to push Astarion out of your mind- except it can never be that easy. You shortly discover you are pregnant with his child- a child that could kill you during childbirth. Scared and alone- Shadowheart stays with you to help you deliver the baby and keep you alive.

While out at the local market, Shadowheart runs into Gale and invites him over for dinner. Gale has unexpected company.

CW: Pregnancy, mentions of potential death during birth, mentions of nudity, mentions of NSFW smut

To my fellow DND fans- no this is probably not canon compliant, yes I’m upset about that, but look I really needed to write this so sue me I guess

Author note- Self indulgent, I have baby fever, but don’t want a baby fic. I’m unsure of how long this will be or if it will have more parts-it depends on how angsty I feel, but I need to have like six different ideas to think about at a time soooo 😂

*This hasn’t been edited ✨well✨so please forgive me

*again, no fucking clue who’s picture it is, but it sure as shit isn’t mine so if it’s yours- reach out so I can give credit!

You keep yourself propped up against the sink in the kitchen as Shadowheart holds your hair out of your face and dabbing away the cold sweat that drips down your neck.

You are really sick of being morning sick. It’s absolutely the worst thing in the world- well besides your potential death from carrying your little girl inside of you. You sometimes think Astarion may get his wish- you may just die screaming.

You dry heave one last time- not a single thing comes up because you haven’t kept a single thing down since two mornings ago. Your morning sickness is inconsistent and comes on with little to no warning.

It’s been five months since you conceived this fricken kid, but it was like all the symptoms hit after you killed the Netherbrain.

A part of you really wishes you had somehow known before then- maybe it would have changed the cruel fate that ended your relationship with Astarion. You were literally pregnant in the middle of fighting Cazador. You think about what he last said to you all the time and just sob hysterically- like it happened yesterday.

A deeper part of you feels abandoned, but you blame yourself for him leaving. You should have been more convincing or maybe you shouldn’t have flat out told him no and explained why in the hells you didn’t want him to ascend.

For example- you didn’t want to lose him to some evil version of himself.

Ironically, you lost him anyway and are pregnant with his fucking child who insists on occasionally making you miserable.

Despite your inherent sadness, anger, and sickness, you find you are actually quite excited to meet her. You haven’t settled on a name yet and Shadowheart has been very helpful in regards to making sure you are healthy and strong for delivery. She’s your best friend and you could not be more grateful for her.

“I’ll go back to the market today and get you more of those herbs,” Shadowheart says quietly when she talks to you, “they seemed to help last time?”

You nod- exhausted and your head is pounding. You and this kid are going to need to have a serious conversation. You will not be letting a second Acunin make you miserable before she is ever born.

Shadowheart guides you to your bed upstairs, standing behind you in case you get hit with a wave of vertigo- which usually happens post vomit episode.

You pull your curtains closed- thankful that the desperate hope in your heart led you to buying black out curtains. You close your door and lay down on your bed- tears spilling down your cheeks freely.

You miss him terribly. You shouldn’t. You should positively hate him, but everyday of this pregnancy makes you ache for him. You should be doing this together.

You know it’s hormones- the weepiness, the intense longing, and the Gods awful horniness. Dreams are the worst. You wake up a squirming disaster at least three times a week with your skin burning hot with memories of Astarion touching you.

You are happy that isn’t the case currently, but the weepiness sucks too. Remembering how he used to curl around you, the way it felt to have him kiss you on the forehead, and all those late night conversations with (now empty) promises. You curl yourself around your pillows, willing your imagination to pretend it’s him, and you sob until you fall asleep.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Astarion tries to contain his excitement and fear as he follows Gale and Shadowheart to your home. Finally, after searching for literal months, he was going to see you again.

Astarion has been haunted by the last words he had said to you for what feels like eons now. He hadn’t meant it at the time and he certainly doesn’t mean it now.

He had been too afraid to come back to you after everything he had said. Astarion decided you probably hate him anyway so he tried to move on.

He tried being with other people (it always failed miserably because they weren’t you), he drank until he couldn’t remember a damn thing, and when all else failed, he began his search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

After the nightlife of Baldur’s Gate lost it’s appeal and he finally found a ring location, Astarion found himself in front of Gale’s door in Waterdeep- begging him of all people to help him.

The wizard had been puzzled and melancholy when he realized Astarion was at his door. Astarion told him every little piece of how he feels about you, how much he misses you, and how he wants to be able to give you the life that you deserve. Astarion was practically on the verge of hysteria while trying to make his case.

Thus began the search for the Ring of the Sunwalker.

They were able to locate and obtain one after a grueling three month long journey and some help from one of Gale’s old friends. Then, they headed straight to Silverymoon- your last known whereabouts.

Running into Shadowheart had felt like a miracle, but to also have her living with you had made the trip even easier. Except Shadowheart was being really really weird towards him.

When Gale first asked if Astarion could come along too, Shadowheart had asked Astarion why he wanted to come and see the person he “hoped died screaming?”

Astarion had flinched at the anger and venom in Shadowheart’s voice. He figured the others would be mad, but he was hoping maybe Shadowheart would give him a little easier time like Gale had. Astarion was genuinely surprised by how quick she was to be defensive of you and your whereabouts. When Gale confirmed that Astarion was telling the truth, Shadowheart reluctantly said he could come.

The three arrive at the front of your shared townhome- it faces the beach and has the perfect amount of windows for the sun to light up the house, but one of the rooms is hidden from sight with heavy, black out curtains.

Shadowheart turns to both of them, “Tav might not be able to join us… she’s been sick for a bit now and is… recuperating.”

Astarion feels his heart drop to his stomach.

“Sick? For how long?”

Shadowheart shifts on her feet uncomfortably, “5 months, but it got worse around 3 months.”

“Tav has been sick for that long?” Gale exclaims, “why didn’t you write!? I could have helped.”

“This particular affliction is one you wouldn’t understand,” Shadowheart says with a finality that suggests the conversation is done as she leads them into the kitchen.

Shadowheart immediately gets fussing with the herbs while Gale looks around the house. Astarion is still unsure of what he should be doing. The house engulfs him in your scent and he feels positively intoxicated. You must be really sick though because your scent smells different- not bad at all, just different.

Does he talk to Shadowheart? Does he look around with Gale?

Or does he sneak off and find you? Astarion doesn’t want to waste anymore time than he already has. Slowly, he creeps towards the stairs.

“Don’t even think about it, Astarion,” Shadowheart warns.

Astarion looks at her and then back at the stairs. He does this a couple times until Shadowheart appears to be annoyed enough that she’s let her guard down a bit.

Astarion takes off up the steps and he hears Shadowheart and Gale coming up right behind him.

Astarion hears a dry heave from down the hallway and he goes racing for the door.

If you are as sick as Shadowheart has suggested (5 months is crazy long), Astarion may not have much time with you and Gods he needs to take advantage of the time he does have.

Shadowheart be damned.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You wake up feeling even worse than you did when you fell asleep. Your headache feels like it’s taken on a life on it’s own and Gods you are going to vomit all over the floor if you don’t move NOW!

You get up with an impossible amount of speed for how dizzy you are and you grab the pail on your nightstand and heave painfully.

You are rocking back and forth, groaning as more stomach acid comes up because again, not able to even keep anything down.

You hear a pair of footsteps and then Shadowheart screaming after-

“ASTARION! THEY ARE SICK! YOU NEED TO WAIT!”

“I have been looking for them for months now,” you hear him hiss, “if they are sick, I need to see them. If this has lasted five months- then who knows how much time I’ve wasted!”

“Will you stop being selfish for five minutes!? It’s not about you and who even says she wants to see you!?”

Shadowheart and Astarion are yelling in front of your door now. You feel tears prick your eyes- Astarion is here. Here here. A flurry of excited kicks from inside you catches your attention and a feeling of blissful happiness comes over you. Oh look, the nausea is gone. Of course it is.

“Traitor,” you whisper before laying down on your bed for a moment.

You are very happy that your unborn daughter appears to be pleased and feels good about her dad being on the other side of the door. You, on the other hand, are less than optimistic.

Wasted time doing what? And why did Shadowheart say I was sick!? In what world was that going to keep him from going upstairs!? Especially if he, your mind pauses, cares about me? Again?

Which you hope he does- you would hope Shadowheart wasn’t so sick of taking care of you that she brought him here to finish the job. Maybe this is all one big show.

Another, “I WILL DO WHAT I PLEASE” from Astarion, a “YOU SELFISH BASTARD” from Shadowheart, and a “Please can’t we all just be nice, catch up, and get along?” from Gale finally gives you the motivation to get up. The arguing feels far too much like being in camp again. You pinch the bridge of your nose, willing the growing headache to go away.

It doesn’t so you change into a pair of longer cotton pajama pants, a t-shirt that is unfortunately showing off your bump more than you’d like, and then you swing open the door in tired annoyance.

You are met with Astarion looking at you- his eyes scanning up and down your body- settling on your stomach. His expression is unreadable- it’s somewhere between lust, love, grief, and heartbreak. Embarrassed by Astarion’s intense gaze, you look over at Gale who is all smiles for you.

“Congratulations Tav!!!” Gale practically yells, making you wince, “the father is a lucky man.”

“I don’t think he considers himself a lucky man,” you say pointedly before turning to Astarion, “or do you?”

Astarion’s face changes entirely with your words. His eyes look at you, round and soft. His eyes are full of adoration and need- a look you never thought he would give you again. You have to fight the urge to grab him and drag him into your bedroom. You will not let the hormones win- you will be strong.

“I- it’s- I mean,” Astarion is fumbling over his words, “you are carrying my child?”

“Yes,” you say grumpily, crossing your arms,” and she’s been giving me nothing but trouble. Thanks to your genetics, I’m sure. This is day two of not being able to keep a damn thing down and this fucking headache is UNBEARABLE so please for the love of every God keep the arguing down.”

Astarion is still looking at you with a mystified expression- taking you in as if for the first time in his entire life. You look back towards Gale and Shadowheart- you are entirely too self-conscious and way too excited to see him for him to be looking at you like that. You are trying to be mad dammit!

Shadowheart gazes at you and your surely red tipped ears with amusement before she says, “I’ll go and get the potion ready for you- that should hopefully help.”

“I will- uh,” Gale says awkwardly, looking between you and Astarion, “join you! I might need to know which herbs to use… in the future?”

“Planning on getting pregnant Gale?” You say with a smirk.

Gale snorts at you, “Dear friend, as wonderful as you look right now- none of the side effects sound appealing.”

“Oh they most certainly aren’t,” you say,” but thanks for thinking I look ‘wonderful’. I feel, well, disgusting.”

“Gods, how could you even think that?” Astarion blurts out, appearing shocked that he even said it, “you look like…. A vision. A wonderful, stunning vision, Darling.”

Shadowheart and Gale excuse themselves as you struggle to find the words for Astarion’s comment. Your entire body feels like it’s on fire and you feel yourself begin to melt a little bit. You feel your emotions bloom into something resembling spring as he steps closer to you- looking at you with pleading eyes.

You clear your throat, “would you like to come into my room and talk?”

Astarion nods eagerly, following behind you so close that you once again have to remind yourself that ripping off the clothes of someone who literally told you they wanted you to die screaming was not healthy- at least not until you get a proper apology.

You sit against your headboard as Astarion walks around your room- running his fingers along the bassinet and rocking chair in the corner. You still can’t get a read on him.

“A girl?”

His question breaks the air.

“Yes,” you smile at him, “no name yet though.”

“I’m sure you’ll pick a nice one,” he says with a smile, but his tone is entirely too melancholic.

A painful thump in your heart fills your body with sadness. He doesn’t want to be involved. Of course he doesn’t want to be involved. You are his knocked up ex-girlfriend. What were you expecting? The lump forming in your throat is unbearable.

“You don’t want to be involved?”

Oh good Gods you are crying. Astarion rushes over to you the minute your tears begin to fall- sitting in front of you on the bed. He reaches out and gently wipes your tears away as he speaks.

“I want to be involved so badly it hurts,” his voice comes out scratchy and emotional, “but that is your decision, not mine. You have been on your own for months, my Love. Instead of trying to come back and make it better- I pushed it off until I thought I could give you what you deserved- a life in the sun.”

You almost whine in protest when his hands leave your face. He twists the ring around his index finger before continuing, avoiding your gaze, “But maybe I was wrong. Maybe what you deserve is a person that isn’t so damaged. Someone who can give you what you actually deserve which is a loving partner who hasn’t hurt you over and over again- a man worthy of being a father to ou- I mean your child.”

His confession and the tears that are streaming down his face are enough for you. Yes, you absolutely want to scream and yell at him, but you also ache for him. You can’t fault the man for being a slave for 200 years and then not taking it very well when you told him what to do. You always knew you would forgive him if he came back- you never thought he would, but here he is and like he said- there is no reason to keep wasting time.

“She is our child, Star,” you whisper and guide his eyes to look at you, “I want you to be involved. I don’t care what you think I deserve either. I have missed you so horribly since you left. It’s almost pathetic really. I’ve tried to blame it on the hormones, but… I don’t know. The picture has felt incomplete up until now.”

You absentmindedly put your hand on your stomach- receiving a kick. You glare at the place where your hand is resting.

“Will you stop kicking me for five minutes!?” You scream, “I WAS IN THIS BODY FIRST!”

Astarion looks at you bewildered and confused, but quickly realizes you aren’t talking about him. The smile that spreads across his face is wide and Astarion gingerly moves closer. You are still a little cautious- needing to protect not only yourself, but also your unborn child. He moves to the right of you and goes to move you just slightly so he can slip in behind you.

“Could I? I mean if it’s not crossing any boundaries!”

Astarion is on edge- you can tell that much, but he doesn’t look at you like he did that last time you saw him- Astarion is looking at you like you are the most precious individual who has ever walked this earth.

You nod shyly, and then Astarion slots himself behind you, your back against his chest, his face in the crook of your neck, and his legs on either side of yours. He cautiously puts his hands on your stomach and is immediately kicked.

Astarion laughs with joy, “she’s strong!”

“Strong willed and strong physically,” you shake your head and you are laughing a bit now too, “you may just get your wish yet.”

“What wish?”

It had slipped. You hadn’t meant to bring it up again- or maybe you did. You want to know for sure if he still feels that way, but the confusion in his voice says he doesn’t. You go rigid and go to dismiss it when you feel his posture change behind you, his grip loosening ever so slightly.

“Right… that.”

The silence is nerve-wracking. You’ve lost him again, you are sure of it. A stray tear begins to roll down your cheek.

“Astarion-“

“No, let me think, Darling. I want to make sure I say everything I want to say correctly.”

You continue to sit there in silence, he places soft kisses on your neck. You feel him smile against your skin at the needy moan that escapes your lips. You absentmindedly reach out for one of his hands and begin to play with his fingers while he thinks. Astarion used to let you do this all the time while you were traveling- it helps you feel grounded.

“I was so consumed by all that power in the moment,” he says slowly, “I wasn’t thinking. By the time I had realized what I had done, I felt like it was already too late- you most likely hated me and moved on.”

You have to bite your tongue- you want to scream. Hate him? Never. You had been miserable without him around for that last month of traveling. Your heart had felt like a dead weight in your chest and you had been moving around like a zombie.

“So I tried to move on… I even tried to be with others, but I just couldn’t do it. It’s selfish, but I want you. I never want anything bad to happen to you- I certainly don’t ever want you to die screaming. I don’t want you to ever carry a child that is not mine.”

You are surprised by the warmth in your core when he says his last sentence. There is something so primal there that you have to really focus on what he is saying next.

Astarion clears his throat before finishing speaking, “I don’t want to be without you anymore- four months is too long. I don’t want to miss out on anymore of your pregnancy and I want to be here for you- with you- doing this together like we should have been doing this whole time. I was a horrible fool- please give me another chance. Please, Darling. I love you- so so much more than I ever thought anyone could ever love someone.”

Astarion’s words hang in the air and you are trying not to begin crying for the 15th billion time. This is what you had wanted to hear all along. You can feel his tears on the collar of your shirt- the way he inhales as if to memorize your scent like this is the last time. Astarion is not expecting you to say yes- you know that because he’s starting to loosen up, pulling away from you so that he can respect your decision.

“I love you too,” you whisper, “I don’t want to be without you anymore either. I forgive you- please stay.”

“I won’t be going anywhere unless you want me too, my Love.”

[opennwindows]

If you can, could I request BEN Drowned fluff / smut headcanons like about himself, with his headcanon age, hobbies, facts, what he is into or would like & want in a relationship, and what he would be like with a gamer girlfriend/ s/o?

If ya taking requests rn still?✨😇😊💖

Ben Drowned general + NSFW hcs

A/N: yes!! absolutely. i love getting to talk about how the pastas do their pastaing in my mind. i have so many headcanons for everyone that im excited to share!! also sorry i forgot to include the gamer gf part but i don't think it would change a lot of what i wrote!!

btw sorry for fucking dying i have been busy 😭😭 but no one worry i will still continue to work on requests!! if anyone has any marble hornets stuff they wanna request i will zoom you to the front of the queue so fucking quick. anyways enough of me yapping.

cw: 18+ nsfw, toxic relationships, crying kink,

GENERAL

ben is mentally and physically 22, but he can be quite emotionally immature at times. when he died he never stopped growing and maturing, his soul was just stuck in limbo. think like the worst waiting room ever.

he's surprisingly tall, standing at about 5'9. he's lanky but not bone thin. could easily get pretty far in a fight without his ghost powers.

the link costume only appears when he’s in his ghost form. so for example, when he’s messing with someone on their computer he’ll appear as the canon BEN we’re most familiar with. when he’s just chilling in his physical body, he mostly wears beat up hoodies and sweatpants.

contrary to popular belief, ben's not the hardcore gamer everyone thinks he is. sure, he'll play some overwatch or whatever when he's bored but he honestly just prefers to watch tv and browse the internet. understandably REFUSES to play any zelda games. if you were trapped in a video game for decades would you ever wanna touch it again? exactly.

ben loves to draw little comics and troll (see: horrifically traumatize) people online. god forbid you get into twitter beef with this man because he will crawl through your monitor at 3am and leave you with a crippling fear of technology. dude thinks it's absolutely hilarious. a true knee slapper.

lowkey has a sugar addiction. will slam down 4 cans of pepsi in one sitting. he's very lucky that he's basically a ghost because the kidney stones would be plentiful.

ROMANTIC

you know that guy with the blown out speakers in his car, lives off of energy drinks and burnt blue razz ice elfbars, swears aphex twin is the modern mozart and works on the grill at your local wendy’s? yeah thats ben. or at least would be him if he was still human.

“why would you need a chair, my lap is literally right here babe.”

would absolutely wear your skin if given the opportunity. not in a weird way. he’s just EXTREMELY touchy.

he needs someone who is significantly more organized and motivated than him. he can go almost a week without showering and it should honestly be considered biological warfare when he tries to smother you with affection during these episodes.

after awhile of you guys dating he LOVES the idea of y’all showering together. he has a fear of water and while showers aren’t too much of a trigger, your presence helps ease his anxiety.

favorite pet names: bro, dude, dawg, babe, bitch (non derogatory)

not really a romantic but he tries his best. a perfect date for him is just getting some takeout, watching youtube, talking about stupid shit and play fighting. if you want something more traditional or extravagant then he’ll oblige to make you happy but those types of dates make him feel quite suffocated and nervous. try to save those for special occasions.

now let’s talk about his problems because just like the other creeps he is ANGSTY.

he’s probably the most emotionally stable and healthiest of the group but he definitely still has his toxic traits, after all this man is a ghost that mentally tortures and kills his victims through manipulation.

ben would never ever get physical with his partner no matter how enraged he is but he absolutely is the type to do some mental damage when he gets carried away. ben drowned? more like ben gaslighted.

the type to say some shit that would keep you up for years and then kiss you the next morning like the argument never happened. he finds it easier to ignore problems than to actively talk and fix them. you’re gonna have to teach him some important communication skills or else you’ll grow to resent him after all the bottled up rage.

a bit too brutally honest and blunt for his own good so if you have thin skin the relationship would fall apart pretty quickly. he wants someone who can drag him twice as hard as he dragged you. bonus points if your insults are consistently funny as hell.

please watch anime with him and discuss it. he would propose on the spot, especially if you play with his hair.

pro player tip: if you want him to clean his disgusting room, help him and make it fun! he just needs a little push and motivation at times. and being around you makes him want to get his shit together.

big fan of late night make-out sessions. i’m talking like 45 minutes straight of just slobbering on each other’s faces with tongues down throats. if you don’t want his hands running over every inch of your body then you’ll probably have to chain him to the wall.

NSFW

okay. so he’s a little inexperienced with his hands. he’s just a slow learner. be vocal with him about what you like!!

ben's about 7inches and slightly skinnier than average but he will have you seeing stars in record time. the dick game is no joke. he tends to go fast and deep most times.

i can see him being a switch in the idgaf-as-long-as-i’m-fucking way. dude will go with the flow and will try mostly anything.

definitely one of the least aggressive pastas during sex. he has sadistic tendencies but he’s more of a edge/overstimulate you until you cry versus a beat the shit out of you and rip hair out of your scalp type. he’s pretty vanilla given his occupation.

despite his love of roasting the fuck out of you on a daily basis, the only words that come out of this man’s mouth is heavenly praise. he looks at you like you’re the most gorgeous being on the planet and he’ll let you know it.

he loves to whisper praises into your ear while you ride him.

he's more of a receiver than a giver when it comes to oral. he'll absolutely spend hours between your legs if given the chance but nothing beats the sight of you on your knees and teary eyed with his length in your mouth.

he can be a bit of a head pusher but just let him face-fuck you every now and then, hearing his loud moans will be worth it.

did i mention how much of a crying kink this man has? you guys could be on round three and if he stares at your teary eyed fucked-out face for longer than 10 seconds he'll immediately get hard again. you'll have to beg him to give your poor body a break.

he's also into choking but only if he's the one doing it. if you try to restrict his breathing he'll panic and the mood would get ruined.

[rae-pss]

masterlist

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . i tried to do something here, i swear. drabble inspired by @etheries1015 's idea. special thanks to my dear @livelaughlovesubs for proofreading and helping me with this one, ily (🥹🫶✨). ˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, 878 words, angsty themes, reader is sad bc they feel objectified by the demons.

“why...?”

that was the question that lingered in your head the most. stuck in a sea of misery and hardship that only you could freely navigate and easily drown in.

there was no other way to share the pain of your most incessant storms of thoughts, not when no one there present seemed to care about your mental well-being.

of course, they cared about you, or that's what you wanted to conclude from times when they truthfully helped you. from the moment satan decided to take you to hell to bring minhyeok back, through the various moments in which you needed the different essences of demons and humans to survive, to when your life seemed to be in danger and they were there to rescue or save you… it was all certainly nice, feeling loved on those occasions.

however, all those memories only led to the same point, making you feel like nothing was right that morning. has it ever even been?

they could sing to the winds and swear to hell that they appreciated you, they loved you, that you were the most important person to them. yet, why didn't anyone seem to care about you?

firstly, the elephant in the room, you were the only living descendant of the much acclaimed and beloved –plus dead– solomon. a man who seemed to leave such a great mark on both hell and heaven. your ancestry unknowingly condemned you to a life of pain, unbridled lust, and way more.

someone who said that he saw you as his own child, but that he never seemed to be there for you or understand you in the face of your deepest sorrows.

and, then there was what certainly shrank your heart the most, took the air from your lungs, and made you a mere vessel of what you once could be.

“aren’t i worth more than my body? do they just see me as a sex toy? a pretty face and body to own and use as they please?”

you wanted and implored that the answer to all of that was no, that they didn't see you as such. but how could you convince yourself of that if they only seemed to mind about your physical appearance? they were indeed interested in your personality, especially when you showed one of their sins in front of them, and yet no one seemed to know your favorite color, food, music, or animal.

questions that if strangers in the human world had asked you’d have been somewhat uncomfortable. after all, who asks those nowadays?

and, here you were now, wishing that one of the many demons there would take even the slightest curiosity in you to ask such things. 

“was it so difficult to ask about your favorite weather? what is your favorite type of tea? what is your favorite book? what is your favorite dessert?”

“was it so difficult to feel any interest in your damn tastes?”

there was a time when anger resided like a parasite in your hot veins for every time those thoughts plagued your mind. an arduous sensation that made you want to harm those who unconsciously hurt you so much in the same way.

but, that was already something in the past. now you could only completely shut up and look at the ground. anger is replaced by sadness, deep, drowning sadness. long nights in tears and full days in pain. but, no one seemed to notice, and if they did they didn't even ask about it. 

“would it cost that much to care?”

it was a slow realization process. a clear decomposition of your spirits, your feelings, of you as a being. you didn't even know if you really cared about saving this already damned place, or if you even wanted to go home... home. your home...

and so a single tear fell from your eye, one that you didn't think even thought existed in your weakened body.

minhyeok... would he still be waiting for you? would he even be alive once you got back? would he welcome you with a plate of your favorite food? a bouquet? a hug…?

the only one who understood and knew you. how would he react if he saw you like this? he would surely care for you like a mama bear. taking your temperature, cooking and feeding you, telling you how silly yet precious you are, giving you all that love that you crave so much.

a smile, a weak smile on your lips appeared at the memories of your best friend. how much you missed him day after day, longing to return to the home that was his arms. the warmth that only he knew how to bring to everything around him, including you. the thousand and one apologies he deserved from you.

so much, and for nothing, because you were still there among demons until everything was over... and, that was if they later deigned to let you go, something that you were not even sure was possible. 

you doubted that after all that chaos they’d let you leave their side. knowing them, they would even lock you up if that kept you close to them. just a mere creature trapped in the vile clutches of thirsty beasts.

[flipppyflopp]

Been thinking about Lilia raising Silver lately and this idea came to me! I just know that Lilia has all of the drawings Silver made him safely tucked away in a drawer somewhere. I like to think that he pulls them out on days where he’s feeling down and needs a little pick me up.

I have an idea for another piece similar to this one but featuring Malleus. Might be a little angsty, but I’ll follow it up with something cute to make up for it. I also want to draw some more fem! twst so I might post a doodle of some of the girlies soon too! ✨

[lynnlovesthestars]

Could you do a Astarion x Tiefling Reader were they are sitting alone underneath there tents canopy in and they are sewing to pass the time humming and doesn't notice Astarion walk up after he was looking for them . ( they could be making something for him maybe for his 'birthday' after learning that it was that day ) .

omg sorry i took so long but my creativity juices flow in funny ways ahah.. to make it a little easier for me, since my tiny brain has been having a hard time in putting words down, i thought it would have been nice to tie this up with a oneshot i wrote a few weeks ago.. i wish i followed better your prompt- though i hope you'll like it.

Ofc reading the part before this won't change the experience, but it was nice to tie them together cause it gave a little continuity and idk anyways i hope you'll like it though it's mostly introspective and a lil angsty when astarion shows up..

----

Masterlist.

Part 1. (the one shot i tied this to)

My prompt list for requests.

Taglist: @sessils @spacebarbarianweird (i forgot to add it yesterday cause im an idiot, but better late than never ahah)

----

Golden.

Pairing: astarion x GN!tiefling!reader

Summary: the huge tear in his shirt caught your eye again, and you decided to give him a reminder that someone cared about him.

Genre: angsty?, lots of thinking, self-doubt, avoidance✨

You never noticed the tears carefully patched up on Astarion’s shirt until you were retrieving your dried clothes from the fire.

His button up sat up ripped on the stone like you left it on the night before, yet you still couldn’t help but focus on the smaller sewn tears already covering the fabric. It was such a precise job, that you wouldn’t have been able to tell that the fabric was ever broken until you looked closely and the places where the thread was tightly pulled became clearer.

You made a mental note of it as you walked back to your tent, holding up the bundle of yours and Astarion’s clothes.

The camp was lively that morning: yelling, singing, clattering of bottles and pans, along with rustling of the leaves had saturated the air, charging it with an electrifying energy.

In the middle of the chaos, your brain still stirred towards Astarion and the way you woke up curled up in his side, while he was meditating.

The tension that filled the tent the night before was gone. The only thing left from the night before was the ghost of his bite on your neck, and his body holding you to him.

When he broke his trance, he acted like nothing ever happened. Like you didn’t sleep twisted with him, or the way he drove you insane the night before.

You could still feel his lips on your neck as you collected your sewing kit from the tent, which still smelled like him, blood and bergamot.

As you spread the shirt on your lap, you could relive the events of the night before like a bard stuck on encore after encore.

You could feel the warmth of your bodies pressed to each other still spreading over your skin as you carefully prepared the essential to fix the tear.

You studied the tear that spread over the back, you knew it was going to be hard to make it seem flawless like the rest of them, but you wanted to attempt for him.

Worst case scenario, it was gonna stay broken anyways.

As you started to work on the tear, and you noticed how the uneven edges were not coming out nicely, an idea spurred in your mind.

At worst you were already planning on buying him a new one when you reached Baldur’s Gate. You had connections in the lower city, and you knew you could get a tailor to make the same button up if you brought a reference.

You worked on the shirt for what felt like hours, while everyone was enjoying their day, whether they took care of chores around camp or disappeared for walks, but as everyone came and left, the only one you had not seen was Astarion.

It was only when the sun was starting to set that you finally spotted him near his tent as he was looking for something in his bag.

You were just done with the shirt, and you couldn't help but hope he liked it.

You folded the shirt carefully along with the rest of his clothes, and as you were ready to head towards Astarion, he already stood in front of you.

His face was unreadable like he wanted to convey a specific emotion, but couldn't figure out how to. He was tense, his arms were frozen at his sides, so you decided to break the ice.

“I did this for you” You carefully showed him the pile of his neatly folded clothes, and his shirt on top.

“I wanted to fix your shirt, but the tear was too-” You started but before you could explain, Astarion had stopped you almost harshly.

“You didn't have to”He said briefly, it sounded mostly like an admonishment, yet you could have sworn there was some sort of softness to it. 

“I know, but I wanted to” 

“Why?” His furrowed brows were inquisitive, trying to gauge your intentions as he wetted his lips. 

“Cause I care about you, I literally told you yesterday” The words slipped out of your lips just as quickly as your tail was swishing nervously.

He scoffed, folding his arms and turning his eyes away from you. “No one does things for free” You could tell there was something odd from him, as if he was trying to bury something under this indifference he was trying to put up now.

“Count this as a gift then” You jutted your chin towards him and invited him to take the clothes still in your arms.

He was taken aback by the simplicity with which you said those words, almost carelessly, and most of all to the person that deserved them the least, especially how hard he was being with you.

He wanted to quip back but you resumed your explanation before he could even think of a response and he wanted to hate it so much. 

“As I was saying, I tried to fix the tear, but it didn't want to look nice, so I embroidered the shirt with a gold pattern” You explained as you pointed at the button up. Astarion was so focused on shielding himself that he didn’t even look at his clothes, she could have gave him one of her shirts for what he knew and he would have not realized it until he would be in his tent. 

His eyes finally fell on the piece of clothing his mouth fell slightly open. He traced the golden thread carefully, as if it was a creation of his sick mind. “I hope it’s not too much.”You trailed off, your words were warm, almost sticking to his skin like glue. He wanted to shake them off himself, he wanted to yell that he didn’t deserve such attentions, that you were an idiot to do all of this for someone that had planned to use you, but it was like something in his body stopped him from screaming and lashing out at you, the only thing he could manage to do was the simple task he gave himself in the morning.

“I came here to thank you for last night, and for your kindness” He started with a honeyed voice. “But I suppose I have one more thing to add to the list” He clutched the bundle of clothes to his chest, tipping his head forward in thank you.

[sageteapost]

sephiroth with a reader who is like him, but they were made for him yk? Like they are supposed to reproduce and not have feelings for each other but they somehow do? They also just want to make him happy, so they will do whatever to acheive that-

~✨anon

| "We're cannot be together, Y/N." |

[ Sephiroth x GN! Reader ]

CW + Tags: None, honestly more on the angsty side. Pining. Forbidden romance. Technically a rejection but still pining hard. Talks about reproduction. Maybe a bit OOC? (No established relationship, but implied to have been secretly hooking up for non-Shinra motives. Written to be gender neutral in mind but can also be interpreted however you wish.)

Summary: The two of you were created for one purpose alone—to reproduce. But to make matters more complicated, you both find yourself pining for each other when you're not supposed to.

[ Author Note: Yippie! I finally wrote something for Sephiroth. Honestly, I was really in the mood for some on the angsty side and a short fic. I hope that's okay ✨ anon, haha. The idea you gave me screamed for it, or at least it did for me. Lowkey teared up a bit, so...have fun!]

"No, stop that. You know we shouldn't do this," Sephiroth pants, his previously softened eyes becoming cold as he reluctantly pushes himself off you.

You look up at him, feeling dejected from the sudden withdrawal of affection and beginning to miss his warmth. "Why not?"

Sephiroth looks down at you, his expression unreadable. "Don't play coy, we know why. You're falling for me, stop that."

"Quit thinking about Shrina for once, why does it matter? We're supposed to reproduce anyway. It's Shinra's fault for putting us together in everything."

"Shinra would try to intervene if you developed any sort of romantic affections towards me. I won't allow it."

You sit up and look at him with a tinge of playfulness and hope, crossing your arms. "So you care about me then."

Sephiroth sighs heavily, turning his head away slightly in an attempt to hide his face. "No. I simply don't want Shinra laying a hand on you," he replied almost coldly. "What part of 'we can't do this' do you not understand?"

You groan in frustration. "Same damn thing!" Your eyes soften slightly, your tone tinged with sadness. "Not a moment ago, you kissed me like you would a lover. Like you meant it. So, do I? Do I mean anything to you?"

Sephiroth's breath hitched slightly. For a split second, his knuckles tightened until they were white before relaxing. It took a moment of silence, but he eventually replies, "...Do people always fall for the things they can't have?"

His response surprised you, to say the least. Your eyes widen slightly, your body almost freezing. In a way, he admitted there was something between the two of you.

"So...you admit it?"

"I suppose I did."

Sephiroth turns back to look at you, his face softened slightly as the sunrise shining in through the window of your quarters brightens your skin. "I've said it. But...it doesn't mean we should be. As much as I want this—us, so badly, I can't. We cannot be together, Y/N."

A tear rolls down your face. Deep down, you know he's right. The two of you have been paired to reproduce with each other, just so Shinra could have more SOLDIERS with Sephiroth's genes.

You want something more. The love is there. Hidden, but there. And it hurts. It fucking hurts.

"You know I'd love you, no matter how many times you push me away," you reply, looking at him with heartache.

"I know, and I feel that way as well," Sephiroth replies. His gaze moves to your window, looking out into the early morning smoky sky. "And that scares me."

[girlboypersonthingy]

Can I request Vi, Jinx and Caitlyn trying to cheer up/apologize to their S/O after a nasty fight? I wonder what they would do to try and make it up to them.

AAAHHHH ANGSTY GIRLS ARE MY WEAKNESS 😩💔 As always, I am so grateful for the request! Also sorry this took so long… ENJOY~

VI 💘

Okay, she def said some mean shit to you. She’s good with her fists, but she has a sharp tongue too. She can destroy someone with her words just as fast as she could with her bare hands.

You’re hurt and upset, probably crying or maybe you’re angry at her. She knows you’re upset at her too…she just doesn’t care rn.

Once she’s gone off on her own to calm down, she’s thinking about what she said to you and the longer Vi thinks about it, replaying the words in her head, the more she feels guilty.

She comes back to find you later with the saddest look on her face. It’s obvious that she feels so guilty she wants to die right now but it doesn’t make the sting of her words any better.

“(Y/N)….I…” She can’t even come up with words that could fix this. She knows she really fucked up.

She’d definitely try to physically comfort you before she would try to offer comforting words. She does not know how to say sorry, it’s lowkey so hard for her. She feels sorry but the words just won’t leave her mouth.

Vi would sit or lay beside you and gently cup your chin in her hand, turning your face so she can look at you.

“Sorry…” She finally spits it out, watching your eyes water.

Then she’d go straight in for a kiss, maybe on the lips, maybe on your forehead. She’ll put her lips wherever you’ll let her rn.

If you accept/return the kiss, now she’s feeling more comfortable with talking. She’ll apologize again then kiss you again then apologize again then kiss you again, maybe slip a little compliment in about how precious you are to her then back to kisses. This goes on for like 5 minutes straight until you’re smiling a bit and your heart feels full again.

If you DONT accept her kisses or apologies, she’ll get so sad. This girl will just watch you with wide eyes, chewing on her lip as she asks “what…can I do?”

Honestly, give her any task you can think of, she will do it so fast with no complaints. Tell her to go jump off a bridge and she’s running there. Tell her to actually give you a proper apology and she will stutter through it and look at you with puppy dog eyes as she tries her best to make you feel like she doesn’t hate you.

If you’re just giving her the silent treatment, she will literally go disappear for like 8 hours. She’ll just give you space and go think about what she did. She’ll spend this time reflecting inward, thinking about what lead up to the outburst, why she felt the way she did, why she let her emotions get the best of her, why she took it out on you of all people.

When she finally comes back, hopefully you’re more ready to listen and respond to her. She’s so grateful when you are.

She will do literally anything for you when you’re upset with her. Even if it’s illegal or dangerous or something she has no idea about, she’ll figure it out and do it for you. Think there’s something she won’t do? Try her.

Once you’ve been consoled and talked to properly, when you’ve finally accepted her apology, she just wants to be close to your. You don’t have to be cuddling, you could just be holding hands or laying down with your head in her lap. She just needs the physical reassurance that you’re still her ✨partner✨

JINX 🦋

Let’s be real…Jinx blows up on you a lot. She just loses it too often and you two are so close, you’re always right in the path of destruction.

She’s not really the type to apologize after every time she blows up on you. If it’s obvious that you’re just butt hurt and irritated with her, she won’t bring up what happened but she will get all clingy and nice all of a sudden. She knows what she did and she’s gonna cheer you up and make you feel loved. She just wants to remind you that she’s unstable but your relationship shouldn’t be. She’s trying.

If she really upsets you, says something that really hits home, she’ll break down crying almost immediately after the words have left her lips. You might not even be crying yet, but Jinx is. She can tell by the look on your face, the way your lips are turned down and your eye brows are lowered, she can tell that you are truly hurt.

When you’re upset like this, she will cry hysterically as she tries to apologize and explain herself. She’ll be sniffling and hiccuping as she furiously wipes her wet eyes. Honestly, when she gets like this you think maybe she’s more upset than you are rn.

When she yells at you like this, it all comes pouring out of her mouth in the heat of the moment. She’s just in a blind rage. But as your face changes, she’s always reminded of her sister. The way her sister would yell at her and call her names. It triggers her and she always ends up sobbing in your lap, begging for your forgiveness, begging for you to stay with her, begging for you to love her still.

If you readily accept her apology and maybe offer her some comfort, she will comfort you back tenfold! She’s playing with your hair, gently scratching your back, offering to rub your feet while she’s still apologizing every so often. She feels like a bad dog who needs punishing and bc you won’t really punish her, she turns to manual labor on you. This is her punishment, pampering you until she’s exhausted.

If you’re not so quick to accept her apology, she gets scared…like actually terrified of you walking out on her right now. She’ll get really quiet, probably not even crying anymore, but she won’t let go of you. She’ll stay flush against you, her arms trapping your torso against her own. She feels like if she just clings to you, you can never leave. She can’t handle you leaving…plz don’t leave her.

As you both sit in silence, she’ll remain still, only moving to tighten her grip or lay her head on your other shoulder. In this moment, nothing else matters to her, no one else matters to her. Sure, she’s probably scared of being alone, but she’s never loved someone as much as she loves you. You are her everything…if she loses you…then she has nothing else to lose. She doesn’t know what she’ll do then.

She’s basically having a silent panic attack as she clings to you, awaiting your response. And she’ll wait forever if she has to.

If you need some space and time to yourself, she will literally just back away a little bit and still stay in the same room. She’s literally terrified…she thinks if she leaves the room she’ll never see you again. But she will stay silent and give you some breathing room.

Once you’re finally ready to talk about it, she’s constantly interrupting you to tell you that this is all her fault and how sorry she is. She isn’t trying to speak over you, she just feels like you shouldn’t be the one doing the talking, she just needs to make sure you know how horrible she feels.

As you talk it out and come to terms with what has happened between you two, she’ll get happy again and start smiling at you. She’s just so overjoyed that you forgave her and are willing to keep trying with her. That’s all she can ask of you…please keep trying. Don’t give up on her.

She’s a good girl at heart and she’s trying her best with what she’s got.

CAITLYN 🤍

It’s actually very rare that you two fight. Caitlyn can be very stubborn and hard headed but she is always willing to compromise for you.

This time tho…she just lost control. She was having a rough week, feeling like she lacked confidence and security in her job, feeling the weight of her parent’s expectations of her and she just snapped at you.

Yeah…it stings but she would never say anything offensive to you. Ever. She might raise her voice at you and call you a pain in her ass but a crude name or insult would never leave her mouth when talking to you.

She probably just told you to shut up and leave her alone bc she’s stressed okay? She can’t handle you rn. She needs to be alone and think in silence.

If you’re upset and decide to leave her be, she’ll spend maybe an hour or two alone before she comes to find you. When she does, she takes your hands in hers and says your name so softly. If you’re not looking at her, she’ll pull her hand away from yours to gently grab your chin and turn your face to her. She pretty much forces eye contact and tenderly whispers an apology.

If you decide not to leave her, maybe you just back away and stay on the other side of the room. She’ll accept your presence as long as you’re quiet…and after the way she said “shut up”, you’re sure to keep quiet.

After maybe 20 minutes, she’s speaking up to apologize…but she’s still in a sour mood. Don’t let her stern apology fool you. You should probably just stay silent.

Soon she’s waving her hand at you as she mumbles “come here…” and you do. You go to her slowly, noticing how she’s watching you. Once you’re within arms length of her, she’s reaching for your hands and trying to look into your sad eyes. She’ll shyly apologize as her thumbs rub over your hands.

If you don’t accept her apology so quickly, she’s very mature about it. She’ll tell you that she accepts your response and then she’ll say how sorry she is again before leaving you to think about it more. She’ll give you space for as long as you need it. She’ll busy herself with other things while still thinking of what she can say to make you understand how sorry she is. She’ll take this time apart to really think about how much you mean to her and how she can better herself and your relationship.

If you immediately accept her apology, she’ll pull you into a tight hug and gently kiss your cheek before explaining herself to you. Caitlyn feels like she has to explain where she’s coming from and why she snapped like that. She needs you to know that she’s not upset with you and she shouldn’t have taken her anger out on you. She doesn’t want you thinking she’s mad at you when she’s actually mad at everything but you.

Whenever you decide to accept her apology, she wants to have a whole conversation about it immediately. Like I said, Caitlyn is very mature, very polite and caring. She wants to talk this out like a couple in love should. She wants to dive deep into your partnership and make sure you’re feeling okay.

She just cares about you so much. She never means to snap at you…she’s just under a lot of pressure. So when it does happen, she can’t just sweep it under the rug. She must be sure that you still love her and that you know she still loves you. Plz tell her you still love her.

[velocesainz]

Reconciliation

(LN04)

F1 masterlist | main masterlist | Taglist

A/n: Here is the requested part 2! Also please send me your ideas, I’m in writers block.

Summary: read part 1 here. After a nearly marriage breaking argument and y/n walking out on Lando, he is determined to get her back at any cost.

Warnings: kinda angsty, suggestive at the end, slight fluff

Pairing: Lando x ceo!wife!reader

Lando pov:

What have I done? I just lost my unborn child and my wife in the span of a few months.

I tried to call her so many times but she refused to pick up. I went to all her estates and apartments in and around London but couldn’t find her.

I even called her parents and they said they hadn’t seen her and also expressed their dissent with me, which I totally understand.

I shouldn’t have said that to her. I knew how much the baby meant to her and I know she still is trying her best to work and handle her company.

No matter what happens or what it takes, I will get her back.

Y/n pov:

After that argument with Lando I called an Uber to my apartment in Greater London to find some peace.

He didn’t know of this apartment of mine so there was no chance he could find me.

I knew he would try and get me back as soon as he realised his mistake but I need space. What he said was vile.

I threw myself into the company work and officially came back as the CEO of l/n industries as I had taken a break for the baby.

Timeskip (6 months):

I was at my desk looking at some contracts when my door burst open to reveal the man that had shattered me a few months ago, Lando Norris.

But how did he get in? I had him blacklisted and all the security personnel knew not to let him in. My train of thought was broken as he spoke.

“Y/n baby, please hear me out! I can’t live without you. These past 6 months have been absolute hell. I love you so much and I realised almost immediately that I shouldn’t have said that. I miss you so much please forgive me, take me back into your life” he croaked out desperately

Hearing the desperation in his voice I couldn’t help but feel bad. I too missed him dearly, he was a part of my life since childhood.

I think I was finally ready to forgive him for his words after 6 months.

“Lando, I miss you too. What you said was heinous but I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I love you too, I’ll come back only on one condition however” I replied

“Anything baby, whatever you want in the world” he immediately said

“I want you to be my personal assistant for the month. I just fired mine and I don’t have anyone at the e moment to hire” I told him.

His look of worry immediately turned into one of joy and he ran towards me and hugged me tight

“You have no idea how happy I am to have you back in my life. The last few months were so miserable for me you don’t even know” Lando whispered into my neck.

Finally my family was back. We had overcome one of the biggest hurdles we would ever face. We definitely belonged with each other.

Timeskip:

We got back home after I finished up my work at the office, it felt good to be back home.

Lando came up behind and helped me take off my coat and started kissing my neck, god did I miss his touch.

He took me to our bedroom and took off my clothing one by one.

“We’re not gonna stop until you have another baby growing in that pretty little body of yours love.” He said huskily.

Boy was this going to be a long night.

A/n: my apologies if this was too short, I didn’t really know what else to add here. Let me know your thoughts on this fic and also send me your requests. Kissies ✨

[magics-neptunes-things]

Collide (5)

Hi guys!

The last one was a little more dark and this one is a little (a lot maybe) angsty too... Please meet jealous R and Leah 😅

I will start to work again from tomorrow so maybe I will write a little more slowly, it depends of my tiredness x)

Enjoy :)

TW : Jealousy, Angst, Swearing, Nightmare.

PART 1 I PART 2 I PART 3 I PART 4 I PART 6 | PART 7

______________________________________________________________

It’s a few days after Valentine’s Day that you find yourself alone at home, which is relatively rare. Like every Tuesday night, Leah is at her mother’s house with other people to have a family evening. You haven’t been officially introduced to the Williamsons yet, even though it would have been hard to escape Amanda. Leah’s mom comes to see almost every match of Arsenal, especially since Leah has started playing again. You don’t know what Leah told her about you, but the look she gave you when she first saw you made you blush from head to toe.

When Leah isn’t around, you can usually count on Alessia to be by your side. To chat, laugh at a bad show or simply scroll next to each other on your mobile phones. Generally one cook for the other, having established for a while a turn without really consulting yourself. But tonight Alessia is busy too and you find your apartment very empty. After calling your parents, then Leila, then Ingrid, you notice that it’s still very early but you still decide to go to bed.

You haven’t decided with Leah if she’ll join you at home when her evening is over, but she has your keys and you know she feels comfortable enough at your home to join you at any time.

After a long hot shower, you settle down with your cup of tea and a book in your bed, welcoming with pleasure the warmth of the sheets. It’s only a few tens of minutes later that you hear an awful screech on the window of your bedroom, making you jump.

Standing still for a few moments, you listen, trying to persuade yourself that it’s only your imagination. You’re in the middle of London, there can’t be someone hanging from your window, right? But as you stress level down, you hear the noise again.

Even stronger than before, causing you chills. It sounds like nails on a blackboard and you are now certain that it can only be nails against the window of your room.

With your hand shaking, you grab your phone and write to Leah. You could have called her, but if Thérèse really someone behind your curtains, you don’t want him to hear you.

From You Baby where are you?

From Leebaby 🌹✨ Crushing Grandma at Bingo 😈 Why?

From You I think there is someone behind my bedroom’s window

From Leebaby 🌹✨ What? Is it a joke?

From You No Babe, I swear. Someone’s scratching my window, I just heard it again

Your phone vibrates again in your hands signaling a response from Leah, but it’s another sound that caught your ear this time. Much less disturbing than the idea of a psychopath scratching at your window’s bedroom, you seem to have heard a meow.

Jumping on your legs, it’s with a rest of apprehension that you open the curtain a few centimeters. Two green round eyes look at you, surrounded by a total black fur. When the cat opens his mouth, you hear the same meow again and you decide to open the window to let him in. You’re on the high floors of your building and if that cat falls, you’re not sure if it survives.

Jumping in your bedroom, the cat looks calmly around him.

"Uh. Hey, man?"

You look at each other silently for several moments, before he starts to wash his paws. You blink several times because of the absurdity of the situation.

"Where are you coming from?" you ask with a frown.

You don’t know your neighbors very well, other than Alessia of course, so you wouldn’t be able to tell who in this building has a cat. That cat doesn’t look very old to you, like he hasn’t finished growing yet. And he even looks rather thin. In any case, he ignores you superbly, licking his pads with application.

As you close the window still looking at the black cat, your eyes are drawn to your phone whose screen turns on and off repeatedly. You take it, opening the messages from Leah. Leebaby 🌹✨ Go to your living room and call the police Isn’t Alessia with you? Honey? Why aren’t you answering my calls? ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE You have with that five missed calls from Leah and you hurry up to call her back hoping she hasn’t contacted Scotland Yard yet. The first ring didn’t even have time to sound in full that she has already picked up. "Y/N is that you?" "Yes. Are you in the car?" you ask with a frown, hearing cars sounds in the background. "Yes? You write to me to tell me that there is someone at your window and then I have no answer, obviously I am in my car!" Leah seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown and you feel terrible about it. It will now be necessary that you explain to her that your possible assailant was in truth only a ball of black fur which seems to have confused your bedroom with a grooming salon. "Oh Babe, I’m sorry. But everything is fine, you can go back to your Mom. I’m sorry I worried you for nothing" "Accept the video call" "What?" "Accept the video call!" Leah repeats abruptly and you hurry to do it. Leah’s face appears on the screen, her eyebrows frown. She’s still in her car and you look at her with a stern look. "Leah Williamson you better be parked on the side of the road" You roll your eyes when she snorts with a scornful face. "Why did you want to switch to video mode?" "To see that you are alone and that you haven’t be forced to make the call so that someone can murder you in peace" You can’t help but laugh softly when you hear her, but on the other hand the degree of worry she has for you touches you. "I told you to stop with Criminal Minds Babe" you tease her tenderly. "Show me your room"

You willingly accept, even walking around your apartment to reassure her completely. She seems to relax noticing that you are really alone and you go back to your room to sit on your bed.

"What was that noise then?"

You smile again before turning the camera of your smartphone to show her the cat, still installed on the carpet of your bedroom.

"A cat? Where the hell does he come from?" said Leah in a skeptical tone.

"I don’t know. I asked him and he didn’t answer me"

"Haha. Very funny."

You turn the camera in your direction to continue your conversation with Leah, wondering mentally if the store open 24/24 of your neighborhood has any animal food in stock.

"See? I’m fine. You can go back to your Mom and kick more ass"

********

You posted posters with the cat’s photo all over your neighborhood, without anyone contacting you to retrieve the cat. After a visit to the vet, you learn that he’s actually a female and that she’s probably not even a year old. You called him Rasmus first, so you changed her name to Raven. And you bought her a kibble dispenser, a water bowl, a litter box, some toys and a sweet confortable basket that she ignores superbly to sleep on the sofa in the living room or on the bed in the guest room.

Leah was distant in the first place towards Raven, officially because it was because of her that she believed for a few minutes that she would find you slit in the middle of your bedroom. And it’s also true that Leah grew up with dogs rather than cats. She talks about herself as a dog person.

But you caught her recently sitting on your couch scratching Raven behind her ears while watching television. You took care to immortalize the scene with your phone before going to tease her.

Raven is therefore officially a resident of your apartment and this is only a problem when you have a match elsewhere than in London. Leah’s cousin has kindly offered to come and look after Raven in your absence.

The match you are preparing for today however is at home and is a bit special for you since you are playing against Manchester City. Your old club. But it’s especially the idea of seeing your former teammates that fills you with joy, it has been far too long since you could see Leila or Laia.

They arrived a few hours before the match with their bus, so you didn’t have the opportunité to see them before going to the stadium. But it’s without masking your big smile that you find them on the field while they are in full warm-up, arriving with Arsenal’s players.

"I’ll be back!" you scream to your teammates before joining your opponents of the day.

Laia Aleixandri is the first to see you arrive and it’s her who squeezes you against her first. You give her back her hug for a few seconds, before pushing her away with a playful smile when she starts to ruffle your hair.

"It’s good to see you again!" she says happily.

You don’t have time to tell her that you feel the same before you hear Leila call your name. You don’t have time to react either before you find yourself trapped in her embrace and that she make you spin in the air.

"I forgot how extravagant you are" you joke, making them laugh.

You greet your other former teammates with a smile when Leila releases you and exchanges a few words with them. You kept in touch via messages with some, but not everyone. That said, you are sincerely pleased to see them again. You’ve been playing with them for several years, even if you’re no longer part of the same club as them.

"Don’t" you smile to Leila by pushing her hand away when she try to pinch your cheek, at the same time that you hear your name being called.

You turn around to see that it’s Katie who beckons you to join them, training apparently about to begin. With an excuse smile, you say goodbye for the moment to the others before running to your teammates.

"Are you making a deal with the enemy now?" teases Katie while putting an arm around your shoulders to train you towards the others.

"Don’t be so dramatic" you joke in return before going to position yourself naturally near Alessia and Leah.

You notice as soon as your look at her that Leah has her jaw contracted, but when you address a questioning look to her, she just shake her head and look away. Alessia shrug her shoulders when you look at her. But you don’t have time to investigate any longer, Jonas coming to give you the start for the usual pre-game exercises.

Jonas always arranges to give you a time off between the start of the match and his pre-game speech, so you join Leah at her cubby. Unusually quiet, she has her headphones in her ears and her gaze fixed on an imaginary spot on the floor. Sitting next to her, you gently lean on her to get her attention.

If her eyes turn to you, she doesn’t take off her headphones.

"Are you okay?" You ask her with curiosity, in a voice low enough not to be heard by others. "Leah?" you add when she doesn’t answer you.

You wonder for a few seconds if she hears you, but Leah finally nods.

"Sure?"

"Can we talk about this later?"

"Of course"

The smile she gives you looks more like a grimace and is far from reassuring you. But you’d rather not insist, deciding to listen to music too. Leaning against the wall, you watch Leah from the corner of your eye and smile softly when you feel her looking for your hand to interlace your fingers.

You gently squeeze her hand in yours and the smile that she addresses you is more sincere than earlier. You lean to kiss her shoulder, both of you deciding against PDA at work.

The game is pretty tight and you play the 90 minutes that the game lasts. Finding yourself marked by Laia amuses you a lot, even if she has the advantage of knowing your qualities and your defects, you manage several times to pass her to put their guardian in danger. The final result was 3-2, with Caitlin and Alessia scoring the first two goals.

It’s only in the 86th minute that you find your way to the net, allowing your team to win.

"That’s my girl!" Leah happily exclaims, pinching both your cheeks before kissing it, making you laugh.

A few minutes later the end of the match is whistled, allowing Arsenal to win three important points in the battle at the top of the ranking. As at the end of each match, you follow your teammates around the stadium, thanking the spectators for coming.

Scoring the winning goal against your old club is a strange feeling, but you are relieved to see that the different members of the team and even the staff don’t seem to hold you against it when you come to greet them. While you are in the middle of a discussion with your former coach, you feel two arms grabbing you by the waist and it doesn’t take you long to understand that it’s Leila.

"I have the same feeling of a proud mother who has just seen her child do his first mistake" Leila jokes, making you smile. "You’re still progressing, I’m sure than in less than 2 years you will have your Ballon d’or. Maybe I’ll forget you for the goal that day"

You laugh, not answering anyway. Other players from City are joining you, from Arsenal too, as Laia Codina. She also knows Laia and Leila well, having played with them for the same national team. Leila doesn’t let go of you for a single second, but you pay no more attention than that. You know perfectly well the touchy nature of Leila and you know very well that there is nothing more behind.

"Stop" you warn her by clapping her hand when she tries again to pinch your cheek.

"Why? Is it reserved for Williamson now?" she asks with a mischievous smile

"Leah" you frowns, not really liking the way Leila refers to Leah.

"I saw her more cheerful after a win actually" Chloe said, with whom you also played last season.

Surprised by her remark, you turn to look for Leah. You find her in conversation with Lia and Beth, a visibly upset look on her face. You can see that Lia is talking to her while Beth seems to agree to what she is saying, but from where you are, it’s obviously impossible to understand what they are saying.

When you go back to the locker room, not without having promised to visit them in Manchester soon, you aren’t surprised to see that some of your teammates have already left. What you didn’t expect was to see no trace of your captain girlfriend in it.

"She already went home, she said she had something to do" Alessia informs you with a sorry smile.

"Oh."

You’re having a hard time hiding your disappointment. Since she started playing again, you’ve got into the habit of going home together. Either your home or her home. Sometimes parties are organized to celebrate your victories and you go there together. When it’s not the case, you sometimes invite Lia or Katie and Caitlin to join you with Alessia for a rather quiet evening. Or you’re just the two of you. Either way, you’re always together. But once again, you’re not really together so she didn’t have anything to say to you, right?

Since you have time, you decide to shower here, trying to digest the strange sensation in the pit of your stomach. Leah didn’t write to you before she left either, you took the time to check your phone before going in the shower.

Between her behavior before the game, the surge of affection she had during your goal and her hasty departure from today, you have trouble understanding what is happening. The locker room is almost empty when you come out from your long shower, in truth there is only Alessia left.

"You, you idiot. You wanted to go back home with the subway?" replies the blonde with amusement when you ask her what she’s waiting.

It’s true that you came with Leah by car, which adds to your misunderstanding. The blonde would never left you there without bringing you back if everything was okay.

"Did she tell you what she had to do?" you ask quietly Alessia later, while you’re in her car.

After glancing at you, Alessia responds negatively shaking her head. Taking your phone out of your pocket, you send a message to Leah to ask if she’ll join you tonight. You hate this feeling in the pit of your stomach and you focus on Alessia’s breathing to discreetly layer yours on hers.

It’s only when you arrive home that you receive the answer from Leah, informing you that she will join you later. You don’t know when, but at least you know she’s coming. You’re greatfull to Alessia who choose to stay with you for diner while you both watch TV.

It’s actually much later that Leah finally joined you, Alessia has already returned to her apartment after falling asleep two times in your lap. And it has been a long time since Raven rolled herself in ball in the armchair under the window to begin her night. Leah seems to have a hard time opening the door to your apartment and when you see her coming in you quickly understand why.

"Are you drunk?" you ask when you look at her, frowning.

"No" laughs Leah before getting rid of her shoes and her bag that she leaves at the entrance.

She is definitely drunk.

"Where were you?" you ask without getting off of the couch.

It’s not like her to go out alone for a drink and you wonder what happened. Apparently she left on her own after the game, at least that’s what Alessia told you and you trust her completely on the subject.

"Oh, we’re getting inquisitive now, aren’t we?"

Leah’s tone is light, but you only have to cross her eyes to understand that something is wrong. But you still don’t understand what and it annoys you, usually you get to understand her quickly.

"I don’t understand"

You follow Leah with your eyes when she drops on the couch next to you, sighing for a long time before pinching her nose.

"Leah, what’s going on?" You ask when you turn in her direction.

"I’m Leah again now? Better and better"

You’re starting to lose patience with her behavior, but you know it’s probably not the things to show her. You feel like you’re dealing with an annoying, sulky teenager. So you take a deep breath and let a few seconds pass to allow you to relax a little before resuming the speech.

"Can you answer my questions please? Where did you went at the end of the game?"

"Home"

You honestly didn’t expect that answer given her intoxication, but you decided to believe her. Leah never lied to you in her life.

"Why didn’t you wait for me?" you ask softly.

Your disappointment is probably a little childish, so you try to hide it from Leah. She already looks weird, no need to push her to the limit with this kind of behavior.

"Dunno. You seemed busy with your friends."

"I hadn’t seen them for a long time, but you could have waved at me or come to me. I would have go with you, I didn’t realize we’d been talking for this long."

"You didn’t present me to them, I didn’t want to interrupt anything"

"I would have if you came"

Leah snorts for any answer, merely crossing her arms on her chest and staring at the television screen in front of her. You gently put your hand on her knee, always trying to figure out what’s going on in her head.

"What did you want to talk to me about later in the locker room?"

"Nothing important."

"Leah" you sigh softly, starting to be annoyed by her behavior.

"Stop calling me that!"

You’re surprised when you hear the annoyed tone she uses, watching her get up nervously to go around the couch and search something in the fridge. She also seems to be angry and you are even more frustrated not to understand why. So you get up to follow her, determined to get information that will allows you to understand.

"So stop running away from the conversation and tell me what’s going on, gosh!"

The tone of your voice would allow anyone to understand your annoyance and when Leah comes out of the fridge with a bottle of water, you can read the anger on her face.

"What do you want me to tell you? That I can’t stand a fucking poor girl touching my girlfriend in front of everyone?"

Your face becomes perfectly smooth under the surprise and that’s probably what makes Leah realize that she literally just yelled at you. It’s her who talks first, apparently completely de-alcoholized in a split second.

"Babe, I’m sorry" she makes in a softer voice, gently taking your arm in her hand, scaring by your emotionless face.

Leah imagines that your sudden muteness is related to the way she spoke to you and she fears terribly that her behavior may have reminded you in some way all that you have lived with your ex-girlfriend. She has no idea that your mind is completely elsewhere.

"What did you just say?" you ask in a low voice, looking carefully at her.

"I know, I should never have talked to you like this, I’m sorry Honey…"

While continuing to talk, Leah gently takes your face in her hands, looking at your eyes.

"No. You said girlfriend."

"Yes?"

It’s Leah’s turn to be a little lost in your conversation. She sees you looking for something in her eyes that she doesn’t understand, but you fortunately quickly resume the conversation.

"Do you consider me as your girlfriend?"

"Y/N what the hell? Yes?"

"You never asked me officially" you point out at her

"I thought it made sense given the relationship we have. We sleep together, almost live at eachother’s and I told you I’m in love with you"

It’s true that seen like this… You find yourself a little silly and even blushing. You turn away your eyes to shake your head gently. But when you turn your attention to Leah, she looks at you with a slight smile.

"Do you want me to ask you officially?" she teases.

"Stop making fun of me" you mumble, sticking yourself against her to hide your face in the hollow of her neck.

Leah puts her arms around your waist to tighten you against her, but it doesn’t prevent her from speaking again.

"Y/N, will you be my girlfriend?"

You don’t answer, but you can’t help but smile against her skin. You hear her smile when she talks and she gently pinches your ribs when you don’t answer.

"I’m waiting for an answer" Leah sings mischievously.

"Yes" you just answer, taking your face off her to look at her.

"I’m sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn’t have let my frustration take over, I swear it won’t happen again."

You acquiesce gently, preferring not to point out to her that the broken promises were a large part of your relationship with Helena precisely. Instead, you’d rather answer her something else.

"I know the difference between that and the abusive behavior she had. Don’t worry" you smile tenderly.

Leah responds to your smile with an uncertain look and you lean over her to kiss her tenderly. You feel like you’re relaxing in your exchange and you feel like Leah is, too.

"Can I take you to bed then, Girlfriend?"

You laugh when you hear her talk but you accept willingly.

********

Leah’s jealousy is something that made you happy, a kind of mark of attention and affection you never expected. This has nothing to do with your ex’s need for unhealthy control and even though you tried to explain to Leah the differences you made between your argument and your past, The amount of attention and flowers you received after that was nevertheless very impressive.

Leah stopped bringing you flowers every day but it finally became a habit for her to bring some back every Tuesday night when she meets you after her family nights. Now that Raven understands that this is not a snack for her, you sincerely appreciate having flowers that decorate your apartment.

And you appreciate more to see that this dispute hasn’t changed anything between you, on the contrary. You now know that you can designate her as your girlfriend to your loved ones and the change was not missed by anyone.

"When are you gonna introduce her to us?" your mom asked you the last time you had them on the phone.

You never officially introduced one of your girlfriends to them, and for good reason. They only needed to see Helena once to understand her and Alina was never so motivated to go up to Norway during her holidays.

"I’ll talk to her" you just said.

You haven't yet talked about your summer vacation, whether you would spend it together or whether you would spend it alone. Usually you will spend some time in Norway before flying a little further south. Last year you only had little time given the World Cup, even if you got out quite quickly.

That was the subject you wanted to discuss with Leah tonight. You’re at her home for once, usually you tend to choose your apartment to be with Raven. But you decided to cook together and her kitchen is definitely bigger than yours and more convenient for that.

You chose something simple, after looking at Norwegian recipes to please you, Leah found that most were made with fish, which she hates. So you kindly offered her homemade pizzas, which she accepted.

You were doing the dishes when Leah gets a message on her phone as you pass by. It’s only mechanically that you look at the screen, your eyes attracted by the light it projects. And you feel your stomach writhing violently when you see who just wrote to her.

Jordan Nobbs.

The name and surname are entered in the contact, leaving no doubt about the person. Although you suddenly stop in your movements, Leah doesn’t notice anything, thrown into her conversation and happily spraying her kitchen with frothy water while doing the dishes.

"Are you okay?" asks Leah curiously, realizing that you haven’t answered her for two minutes.

Her gaze becomes anxious when she turns to you and you briefly wonder what face you are making.

"Are you still talking to Jordan?" you ask, frowning.

The question seems to surprise Leah, who looks at you while frowning in turn.

"From time to time, why?" she finally answers you.

"You told me she left you down. Why would you talk to her again?" you answered with a slightly accusing tone.

"She started writing to me again after the game against Aston Villa" Leah explains, resting her sponge and a pan next to the sink.

"You no longer follow each other on social networks but you write messages to each other? It doesn't make any sense"

You have a hard time understanding the logic behind it and, as you try not to get carried away by emotions that you can’t even figure out, at the same time try to keep a normal conversation tone.

"Why do you take it like that? We’re not doing anything wrong"

Frowning, Leah also seems to have trouble understanding what’s going on in your head and it’s probably even more frustrating. Sometimes you feel like she understands you better than you. But not tonight.

"I don’t know, how would you take it if you found out I was talking to my exes without telling you?"

"Jordan has nothing to do with your ex" sighs Leah skilfully dodging your question.

Do you feel frustration mingling with jealousy and a form of… betrayal? The term may be a bit strong. Your hands shake when you put down the laundry you used to wipe the dishes.

"Of course, the perfect little Jordan is surely coming back only for a friendship." you mumble, loud enough for Leah to hear.

"Don’t talk about her like that"

"Why are you defending her?" you almost shout while crossing your arms on your chest.

Instead of answering you, Leah rolls her eyes before sighing and turning her back on you. A gesture that means that she prefers not to answer to avoid continuing the dispute that is announced, but in your mind it means that she doesn’t want to answer because she suspects that you will not like her answer.

"You know what? Go talk to your dear sweet Jordan, I’m out of here."

"What?!"

That’s how you find yourself going home with a heavy heart. Leah tried to hold you back, obviously, but you managed to leave. Maybe yelling at her at her front door that she has to leaving you alone with a bad word or two helped. Certainly.

You have to take three times to park your car on your parking space because of your shaking hands and your incapacity to stay focused. When you enter your apartment, you are surprised to see Alessia sitting on your sofa, Raven on her knees.

"Leah called"

You growl for any answer and enter your bathroom to take a long hot shower, which you do every time you feel overwhelmed by your emotions. It’s impossible for you that Jordan come back just to have a friendly conversation with Leah and you’re sure she came back to talk to her only because she saw the connection you had with the blonde. You can’t believe Leah would betray you like that. And worse, not understanding why it bother you that way.

You realize when you get out of the shower that you left your phone in your car, but you decide that you will look for it tomorrow. The parking is secure and you don’t want to go out, anyway you doubt you need it tonight. Leah won’t write to you after you yelled at her the way you did. At least that’s what you say to yourself. In reality, you have some missed call and messages from her already.

It's lying on your bed that you find Alessia when returning to your room.

"What happened?" asks the blonde after you lie under the covers and turn your back to her.

"Leah probably told you, no?"

"No. She just asked me to let her know when you got home. She seemed worried."

You snorts for any answer and let go a few seconds before answering, turning to lay on your back. Alessia doesn’t seem to be in a hurry, leaving you time. She has gotten to know you over time too.

"She's talking to Jordan again" you end up mumbling.

"How do you know?" Alessia asks softly.

"I saw when she got a message earlier. She didn’t even tell me, I have to found out myself Less"

"You asked her why she didn’t tell you?"

Alessia, always good advice, calm and thoughtful. You sincerely admire her ability to see things and her sincere way of believing that everyone is kind. She’s too precious for this world.

"… No"

"Why?"

You shrug your shoulders for any answer. You were probably too busy feeling jealous and betrayed to show common sense. Alessia quickly seems to understand what happened and passes a hand in your hair.

"Sleep and you can talk about it together tomorrow, yeah?"

You answer silently once again, nodding. You doubt you can fall asleep without Leah wrapped around you to be completely honest.

"Do you want me to stay?" proposes Alessia and you mentally note to have her build a gold statue in your future house.

"Please"

********

Despite your doubts about your ability to fall asleep, you end up sinking, exhausted by all the emotions of the evening. Your sleep is far from restorative and relaxing that said, nightmares haunting you since you fall asleep.

Until you were startled awake, Alessia shaking you like a plum tree. The last images of your dream evaporate while your eyes focus on her face and the darkness of your bedroom.

"God are you okay?" stutters Alessia and you can see the fear on her face. "You were screaming, I was trying to wake you up but…"

Fast breathing, you look around, trying to chase away the sensations and images of your dream. You sit on your bed and press your palms over your eyes with enough force to make stars appear. Only then do you realize your cheeks are wet with tears.

"What can I do? What do you need?"

It was a nightmare like you haven’t had in a long time. Since the night you confided in Leah.

"Y/N? Please talk to me" Alessia kindly said.

"Leah... I want Leah" you whisper

You don’t know if Leah was sleeping when Alessia called her, but you’re already feeling a little relieved to learn she’s on her way. You didn’t really understand the words they exchanged, focused on your nightmare. After hanging up, Alessia offered you to freshen up, which turned out to be a good idea. When you return to your room, you see that she took out clean clothes that she put on your bed.

You move Raven who had settled on your fresh clothes before putting them on. The images of your dream quickly come back to mind and it’s shivering that you go back under your sheets. Alessia not knowing if you are comfortable enough for her to see you like this, she appears just to give you a hot tea she prepared for you before informing you that she will wait for Leah in the living room. But that you can call her if you need anything, of course.

You lose track of time, your mind shaken by your emotions and memories of your dream and your past like a small wooden boat in an ocean of waves.

When you feel the bed moving next to you, it only takes a few seconds to recognize Leah’s smell. Without a word, she slips under the sheets with you, passing her arms around your waist and sticking herself against your back.

"Leah?" You mutter though, your voice barely recognizable.

"I’m here" she whispers in a reassuring tone. "What happened?"

"Nightmare"

"You wanna talk about it?"

You shake your head negatively, rather focused on your attempts to stabilize your breathing and heart rate. You’re well helped by Leah’s presence, like every time. She’s like your dream catcher. Patiently waiting for you to calm down enough to speak, she gently caresses your arm with her fingertips, whispering comforting words to your ear.

Your breathing gets slower and slower and after a while Leah must think you’re asleep. She slowly detaches from you to avoid waking you, but jumps when you turn around suddenly and grabs her arm.

"Don’t leave" you beg her as she regains her inital position.

"I’m not leaving. I just wanted to take your cup back to the kitchen. It’s okay."

If it had been someone else, or even if it had been at another time in your life, you would probably have been uncomfortable feeling so dependent on someone. But it seems to you sometimes that the universe made you wait for the right time to meet Leah and get closer. Even if you struggled the first weeks and even if you have some topics to discuss soon, starting with Jordan.

But you don’t want to think about it right now. Leah passes her hands around your waist, squeezing you against her again except this time you’re face to face. It doesn’t bother you, you take advantage of your proximity to bury your face in the hollow of her neck. It has become your thing. Leah does it every morning when you wake up and you do it when you’re tired or when you need comfort.

"Were you sleeping?" you ask after a few seconds.

"No" simply answers Leah, playing with your hair.

"Why?"

"I couldn’t"

You feel her shrug slightly and you step back a little to put your face on your cushion and be able to look at her. She does look tired, but given the face you must have, you prefer not to comment.

"Why?" you ask instead.

"I hate when we fight"

You remain silent to this answer, not knowing what to say. Her eyes are always plunged into yours when you sigh gently before looking away.

"Me too" you end up answering

The reason for your argument tonight were chased by your bad dream, but the insecurities that you may have felt at that time quickly come back to your mind. You don’t know how to approach the subject with Leah and you secretly hope that her magical power to read your thoughts will start working again quickly.

"I’ve been thinking about what you told me" said Leah, her face still a few inches from yours.

"Which part of the discussion?"

You retain a grimace, remembering very well the not necessarily very nice words you said when you left her on the doormat of her house.

"When you asked me how I would react if I heard you were still in contact with Alina or the other psycho."

"The Other Psycho" became your ex-girlfriend’s official nickname when Leah talked about her.

"I don’t think I could handle it, to be honest. And not just because they shared your life at a time, but because they hurt you and they don’t deserve any attention."

You bite your lip, looking for the best words to try to share your point of view.

"Jordan made you suffer too"

By leaving and probably without being as present as Leah could be for her when it was Jordan who was injured. You’re kind of sorry you weren’t there for Leah from the start of her injury, but at least you were there for her big comeback.

"I know" said Leah gently "I didn’t wanted to hide from you that we talk from time to time, but after the match against Aston Villa we had all this shit up and really these are only messages from time to time. The last time she wrote to me before today was for Christmas."

You only have to look into her eyes to know that she is telling you the pure and simple truth.

"It’s just… it’s Jordan, you know? People loved you together and there’s a lot of people who keep hoping that you’ll be a couple again. And she was a part of your life for a long time"

"I’m not going to lie to you" Leah begins softly, sighing before rolling on her back. "Jordan is my first love and it won’t change, but things ended between us for a reason."

The silence settles for a few seconds, during which your gaze is lost on the wall in front of you. The ease of getting lost in your thoughts makes you jump when Leah turns to you again.

"Jordan was my first love, but if I can choose I would like you to be the last. I know th… Why are you crying?"

It’s stronger than you and to admit it all, you’re probably a sentimental mess right now. You manage to tell her that you don’t know between two sobs, which makes her laugh gently before drawing you against her. You obviously let yourself be, finding with pleasure the reassurance of her arms.

"You have nothing to worry about with Jordan or anyone else, I promise" Leah adds after a few seconds.

You nod, starting to talk again once your sobs have subsided.

"We’ve been fighting a lot the last few days, already the other time with Leila and today. I don’t understand what’s happening to us. It's scare me" you mumble.

"It happens and it’s even normal when we share so much time together. I mean I love being with you, but we’re almost every minute of the day together. We can’t never fight. It doesn’t mean we don’t love each other. We just need to keep communicating as well as possible."

She's right and you know it, you don't hesitate to tell her. You feel your body finally relaxing, for the first time since you saw Jordan’s name on her phone.

"Talking to your ex too?" Leah asks after a few moments.

"No"

"Great."

You smile softly and lift your head off her chest to look at her.

"I’m sorry I yelled at you" you say, slightly frowned.

"You’re forgiven" Leah replies before stealing a kiss "What you went through with Alina is not right either, you know. She shouldn’t have done that to you."

You shrug your shoulders, not really knowing what to say. But it's true that infidelity destroys much of the self-confidence and confidence you can have in others. The beginning of your relationship with Leah can prove it.

"I don’t want to talk about her anymore" you end up mumbling

"It suits me very well. Like that I maybe won’t want to break her two legs at the next game"

You laugh softly when Leah takes you back against her, crashing your lips against hers. The weight you felt on your chest flew away and you can finally breathe properly again. You even smile, pressing your face against her jaw after the kiss.

"Maybe I’ll ask Katie to do it" Leah jokes with a dreamy look.

"Stop" you answer while rolling your eyes.

"Speaking of our teammates, I think you really scared Less" Leah continues caressing your back.

You grimace this time, feeling guilty thinking about the look and face she had when you woke up.

"I’ll apologize tomorrow"

Leah answers you with a grunt before yawning. It’s been a long night for both of you, even though you’ve got a few more hours of sleep than Leah has. You notice that she's falling asleep when you put a kiss on her cheek.

"Thanks for asking me to come" Leah mumbles without opening her eyes.

"Thank you for coming"

Leah has a new smile and opens an eye to look at you when you put a new kiss on her jaw this time.

"Go to sleep Honey. I love you."

"I love you more" you answer.

"Nope, it's me"

"It's obviously me"

"Can't hear you, I'm sleeping."

"God, you're so annoying" you laugh, watching her faking a peaceful sleep.

You kiss her again, on her lips this time. And because she's asleep and you can, you let your eyes gently slide her face.

You admire each of her features. The way her lashes draw shadows on her relaxed face, her jaw perfectly drawn. If you could draw yourself a girlfriend, she would be perfectly similar to Leah.

"Stop staring you creep"

Even if you thought she was perfectly asleep, Leah grabs your pillow and crushes it on your face, triggering your laughters. It seems to annoy Raven who leaves the room not without throwing you a look of reproaches, certainly to go settle peacefully on "her" armchair.

[cozage]

Hi I reallllly love the way you wrote the reader with healing powers and I was wondering if I could take you up on your offer of continuing it?✨💖

A/N: A sweet (and lil angsty) HC list for how they’d react to your powers after initially finding out about them

Characters: F! reader x Zoro, Luffy, Sanji, Law, Ace

Cw: Ace and Law’s hold a lot of angst. All of them are a little angsty but Ace and Law have a significant amount. 

Total word count: 1.3k

First part :) 

The Pain of Healing Part 2

Zoro

Zoro isn’t the kind of guy to tell you what you can and can’t do. His lover isn’t weak, and he knows that you know your limits, so he never stops you. But he does keep a close eye on you, especially during battles.

He’s probably one of the few people who actually understand your pain and your sacrifice, and he understands what an insult it would be to ask you to stop doing that. 

You all do have a mutual understanding though: he won’t stop you, and you won’t heal him. Your secret is safe for him, as long as you don’t use it on him.

He cares for you in small, quiet ways. He massages your sore muscles after a hard healing, and cuddles you extra close on the tough nights.

Whenever he sees a crewmember feeling particularly good after a fight, he wanders off to find you. He always picks you up without another word and carries you back to the ship, letting you sleep. He’ll tuck you into bed and leave you to sleep the pain away. He might crawl into bed with you, but you usually sleep better without him in moments like this.

He’s proud of you and what you’re willing to do for the crew, but a small piece of him is afraid that one day you’ll do too much, or something bad will happen to you because you went too far.

Sanji

Sanji has to bite his tongue when he sees you using your powers. 

You agree to his request not to heal him anymore, and he breathes a sigh of relief when he realizes his wounds aren’t healing quickly without you. But when he notices other crew members wounds healing quickly, he gets a bad feeling in his stomach.

“My love?” he finally asks one day. “Do you heal others the way you used to heal me?”

“Sometimes,” you say. “When they need it, or whenever I can help.”

He hates that. He hates that you're being hurt, but he knows it’s not his place to critique your decisions, so he bites his tongue and he massages your body and after you’ve fallen asleep, he holds you and he cries for your pain, wishing he could take your pain away just like you can to others. 

He doesn’t stop you though, or tell you that he thinks it’s a bad idea. You can see it in his body language whenever you talk about it, but both of you ignore it. 

Luffy

Luffy doesn’t ask for healings anymore, but he never turns you down when you ask him. 

When you find little cuts and bruises along his body, you ask him if you can heal it. He always gives you a wide smile and nods, fascinated by how your powers work. 

He also knows it's a form of love you give him, and that makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

He honestly doesn’t think too much of him “causing you pain”, even though nobody else on the crew will let you help them. Luffy knows you wouldn’t offer if you didn’t want to do it. He doesn’t ask for healing, but if you’re offering then he doesn’t mind saying yes.

The only time he will turn you down is when he’s in a battle and he knows how badly he’s wounded. He always claims he wants to beat the enemy on his own merit, but really he’s afraid of how much you’ll be hurting at his expense. 

He’ll turn down your requests for a few days after battle, waiting for his bruising to go down and his cuts to start healing before he accepts your help. He only wants you to help with the little things, he doesn’t want to cause you actual pain. 

Law

He waits for you to recover before he brings up your powers again. When you’re finally feeling okay enough to sit up, he pulls up a stool and puts his best “I’m-Your-Doctor-Not-Your-Boyfriend” face on. 

“I don’t want you doing that again,” he said sternly. “Ever.”

“That’s not your call to make, Law,” you say sternly back.

He sighed, knowing what was coming. And it did. You all snapped at each other, arguing back and forth. Both of you were stubborn, and neither of you would yield in your stance. 

Finally, after an hour of arguing, you lay back on the bed and turn away from him. You’re tired of fighting and tired of sitting up for so long. 

“I just need you safe,” he said. “You’re going to overdo it and hurt yourself one day, and I can't-” his voice breaks, and you feel the guilt of making him hurt. 

You turn back over to face him, trying to offer a compromise. “I’ll only do it when it’s necessary, okay?”

He nods at that, seeming to contemplate your offer. “And when I’m around,” he added. 

“Law,” you warn. You know that's not a fair compromise, and so does he. 

“Fine. Only when it’s necessary.” He doesn’t like it, and neither do you, but it’s the best you’re going to get. 

He scowls when he sees you using it or when he sees your body weakened by the aftermath of it, but he never complains or argues. He has to admit, you do well to hold true to your end of the promise, so he never pesters you about it anymore. 

Your powers just kind of acts as this thing neither of you are super thrilled about, but you tolerate for the other person. It’s better not to acknowledge it, even if he is really curious on how it all works

Ace

You and Ace fight over this topic. A lot. The first time was when Marco came to you, letting you know that Ace had talked to him about your powers. 

You stormed off to find him, and a major fight ensued. Ace didn’t want you to be hurting yourself for other people’s mistakes, and you wanted to help people whenever you could. 

It’s a tense topic of conversation, something you all just choose to avoid discussing after a while, because every time it inevitably leads to a fight. 

Ace didn’t tell people, but he did ask your division commander to keep an eye on you in battle. “She’s been acting a little rash,” he’d say. “I’m worried about her.” Your commander came to ask you if you were okay, worried about your mental health. You had no idea what he was talking about, and he told you about Ace’s concern. That caused a pretty big fight.

He even went so far as to ask Whitebeard to have you transferred to his division so he could keep an eye on you. Whitebeard denied it, and asked you if you were having trouble in your current division. That caused another big fight. 

You know he just wants to keep you safe, and that his intentions are good, but it still enrages you that he doesn’t want you helping out when you can. It enrages you even more that he’s meddling so much in your life. 

Finally one night he breaks down, holding you tight against his chest. “I can’t lose you,” he sobs into your hair. Your heart hurts hearing him cry. You wished that the two of you could come to an understanding with each other.

“You won’t,” you whisper into his chest, tears springing up. You believed in yourself, you just wanted him to believe in you too. 

[2aceofspades]

So, recently I saw that you started drawing leosagi sketches and when I saw the first one you made I was like "OMG. THE STYLE IS AMAZING".

And I saw the last one you made and it melted my heart. The way Usagi was worried about Leo and he only rushes to hug Usagi bc he missed him...

My heart is blessed. Also I hope they appear more often, maybe an idea (there's no problem if u dont want to) that Usagi takes care of leo after a battle.

Ahg, this is getting long so anyways, I love ur drawings and hope you have a great day

Gah-! Thank you so much!! 🥹🥹 Awwwee I'm feeling very very happy that y'all like my silly leosagi sketches hehe ☺️ And yes, they will most likely appear more often 🙌✨ I've been sketching them quite a bit and I think it's fair to say that I caught a bit of brainrot 😅

Also, funnily enough, I actually sketched a lil angsty onesagi moment for ~reasons~, but I was inspired and sketched a lil moment of f!leosagi so here's that~

I really like the idea of both of them being very attentive whenever either one of them gets hurt. I will be honest and say that I don't know too much about Usagi's character, (but that will change with further research into his character...) but for some reason I imagine he would get really quiet and solemn if Leo got seriously wounded. Like, it would be difficult for him to be by Leo's bedside and watch him recover slowly and all that. I dunno hehe 😅

Anywhizzle!

Thank you again so much!! I hope you're staying safe and well, and have a great day too 🙌🌟✨!

(:

[munsonsmixtapes]

I hear you're in need of ideas ! I won't be offended if you're not inspired by my ask , we love creative choice here !! So I have a bit of an aversion to the smell of weed because ✨ trauma ✨ I have nothing against it or anything. But I was thinking maybe just something a little angsty with a happy ending about how Eddie would react and deal with that as your boyfriend. Lots of love 💕

This is such an interesting request, so I am more than happy to fulfill it!

Eddie x gender neutral!reader

cw: mention of weed, hurt/comfort

Not proofread!

As soon as you started dating Eddie, you were quick to let him know about your aversion to the smell of weed. With him smoking it all of the time and always having it on hand because he sold the stuff, you felt like it was important for him to know. Just like always, he was so accommodating, making sure to shower after he smoked or made a deal. He insisted that it wasn’t a big deal but you weren’t so sure.

And to Eddie, it really wasn’t a big deal. He would do whatever he could to make you happy and that included a little shower before coming to see you after he handled the stuff. He really didn’t mind and an extra shower here and there really didn’t hurt.

But despite his reassurance, you still felt bad. That was one of the few things that calmed him down and now he had to take a few extra steps to make sure he didn’t smell like the stuff before he could come see you. You didn’t think it was fair.

One night after his shower, Eddie snuck into your room, smelling like nothing but the shampoo you had bought him, his hair still damp, signifying that he hadn’t showered that long ago. He pushed you down onto your bed eagerly and threw himself on top of you before pressing kisses to your lips, but you weren’t in the mood for once.

You turned your head and he leaned up, turning your face back to him so he could see it. He wanted to know what was wrong. You had never looked so uncomfortable around him. Eddie was always your safe space. The person you could come to with anything about now you were looking at him with a pained expression that he had never seen before.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, hm?”

“Nothing,” you shook your head and normally, Eddie would have left it at that, but this was clearly bothering you so he had to get to the bottom of it.

“You can tell me. Whatever it is, I won’t be mad.”

“Promise?” You put your pinky out.

“Promise,” he replied with a nod and hooked his pinky around yours before giving it a shake.

“Well, I just-I feel really bad that you have to shower all the time after smoking or doing a deal. It’s just an extra step you shouldn’t have to take and I feel awful that you keep having to do it for me.” Your words came out so fast that Eddie almost didn’t understand what you were saying.

“I mean, I know you do it because you care about me, but I feel like I’m being selfish. What if-what if we just took a break?” That was not at all where he thought the conversation was going to go and there was no way that he was letting you break up with him. The only way the two of you would be apart was if one of you passed away. He was never letting you go as long as he lived.

“Woah,” he rested his hands on your shoulders. “Let’s not take drastic measures, hon. We’re not taking a break, okay? I know you feel guilty, but you don’t have to, baby. I really don’t mind showering before I come see you. I like using that nice shampoo you got me and like to make my hair look nice before I come and see my girl,” he smiled. “You’re not being selfish at all. I like doing stuff for you and making sure that you’re taken care of. And if that means taking a few extra showers every week, then so be it. I love you and I want to be with you for as long as I can.”

“You love me?” Your face lit up at the words. He had never said them to you before and now you knew that you were just being silly. Of course he wasn’t mad at you. Eddie couldn’t have been mad at you if he tried.

“So damn much,” he sighed.

“I love you too.”

“Now give me some sugar, sugar. Daddy needs a kiss.” He puckered his lips and you just shoved him away.

“Ew, not if you keep calling yourself that,” you laughed but gave him a kiss anyway, so grateful to have him in your life. Someone who would love you unconditionally even if you were acting irrationally. Someone who would love you until his very last breath.

[larluce]

Have you ever thought of the episode A Servant of Two Masters with a scene like Ella Enchanted when she breaks her curse? If you don't know the scene or the movie, that's okay because I have ✨a vision✨

Like that:

Merlin inside is dying because he's trying to kill Arthur and that's his worst nightmare, but Arthur decided that needs to be open and honest to Merlin and just tries to confess. I don't know how they got there, but just imagine that Arthur is talking sweetly to Merlin, holding his face with love and going to kiss him, but Merlin is crying because he's with a knife in his hand and trying to stab Arthur in the back. He breaks the curse, but Arthur saw the knife and assumes the worst.

I did watch that film! "A Servant of Two Masters" had the pontential to be very angsty indeed. But of course they decided to make it comedy. Not that I didn't like it anyways, but a more serious take like the one you are proposing would have been GOLD.

I recently saw a post similar to this, not quite, but kind of captures the same idea: LINK

But you inspired me. So I'll add this to your vision:

Just as the movie, Agravaine orders for Merlin to be arrested before he can explain anything, proclaiming he's in alliance with Morgana. However, Arthur, though still very hurt and confused, starts to analyse the situation. Why would Merlin try to kill him now? Is not like he didn't have better chances before. Has he done something to make Merlin change his mind about him? What did Morgana offer him? And why a knife? Merlin literally serves him his food, he could have poisoned him, find a more discret way to do it, he's a physician apprentice for gods sake! Was his servant this dumb? Then he remembers, Merlin was crying through all of it, and he seemed like he was trying to tell him something but couldn't. He thought it was due his emotional confession that his servant had tears in his eyes, but now... could it be that Merlin was forced to do it? Maybe Morgana threatened someone dear to him? Like his mother or Gaius. Or maybe he just can't bare the thought of yet other person betraying him, specially if is Merlin, that now he's making excuses for him? Doesn't matter, he can't execute Merlin, even when his uncle keeps insisting on it. So he just keeps him in the dungeons ad pospones his death sentence as much as he can.

Just as Arthur gathers the caurage to go visit Merlin to ask for answers, against his uncle's wishes of course, Gaius aproaches Arthur and tells him Merlin was under the fomorroh's control giving him the burned cut head of the snake as a prove. He explains he went to visit Merlin and Merlin gave him that and told him Morgana put it in his neck to control him when he was captured, but somehow he managed to break the spell. His uncle intervenes, telling him is all lies, that Gaius just wants to save the boy because he's dear to him and accuses him right then and there of being the traitor they were looking for. For Arthur, however, there was never a doubt, his Merlin is innocent, he never wanted to betray him. He almost cries of relief and, ignoring his uncle and his physician's dicussion, he runs to see Merlin.

His smile fades once he gets there though, cause Merlin, his Merlin, is hanging from a rope. Horrified and in full panic mode, he puts him down as quickly and as carefully as he can. He yells desperately for the guards to fetch Gaius and starts making CPR, but even when Gaius later appears to help it's too late. Merlin's dead and Arthur's whole world is put upside down.

There's a note Gaius finds hidden in Merlin's clothes, it says: "I'm sorry, Gaius. I couldn't fight it much longer, I could feel it, growing back again, trying to control me and I couldn't let it, not again. I would rather cut my own arms and legs and being burn in the pyre a thousen times than hurt Arthur, much less kill him. I won't go through that nightmare again. Please tell him I love him too, that i never mean to do it. I love him more than I love myself. But if he doesn't believe you, if he hates me forever, it's alright. I don't blame him, so don't blame him either. Keep protecting him, please. Specially from Agravaine. Loves you, Merlin".

Gaius shares this letter with Arthur and of course he breaks all over again, but then he asks, "Why did Merlin told you to protect me from my uncle, Gaius?". Gaius doesn't want to answer at first, but Arthur commands him and Gaius answers carefully "he believed he was the traitor, sire". Arthur responds after a pause "And you believe that too?". There's a silence before the physician says "I gave him the pergamine and the ink, he said he wanted to write a message for you that later I would deliver. I was a fool, I should have known..." he sighs. "But I wonder... where did he get the rope?". And that's when when all clicks to Arthur. Agravaine was the one insisting on killing Merlin inmediatly amd Merlin didn't have access to any rope. He confirms it when the guards tell him Agravaine visited Merlin once, they couldn't hear what the man was telling to the boy, but it sounded like he was threatening him.

Agravaine was the traitor, Agravaine gave Merlin the rope. Agravaine is the reason his Merlin now is gone.

Arthur goes to his uncle a sword in hand and demands answer with the blade on his throat. First he dinies it, but then he laughs. "You killed my sister. You and your father" he admits. Arthur's expression remains as a stone "What did you tell him?" Arthur demands. "I just offer him a less painful way to die". Arthur kills him, but finds no satisfaction. He's dead inside. His Merlin died thinking he hated him and he let him believe that. He didn't visit him for days after all, he didn't confront him inmediatly for answers, he let his uncle cloud his mind. This was his fault.

Arthur looks at his sword and puts the point of the blade on his heart. He's about to push the blade when suddenly the doors open and the sword flies from his hand. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" a familiar panic voice shouts at him and Arthur turns. A Merlin with golden eyes is running to him and then hugs him tightly. "Are you mad?!" Merlin's still scolding him, but Arthur's just watches him in shock. "Merlin" he's only capable to mumble.

It turn's out Merlin's magic saved him somehow. It just put his body on the verge of death enough to make the fomorroh believe that the body was uninhabitable so it left his body completely. His mortal body was now too weak though, so his only vital energy left is his magic. That's why his eyes are constanly gold now. It takes a while for Arthur to understand it. Specially the magic part, but honestly, he's far too happy and relief to have Merlin back that he can't be mad about Merlin lying about his magic. In fact, if anything, he's thankful for it, since it saved Merlin's life.

"But you didn't plan that, did you? You did actually try to kill yourself" he accusses however, still heartbroken at the fact.

"It was the only way I could think of-"

"Never, Merlin" he commands him very serious. "Never do that again"

"I can't promise you that"

"Then any harm you do to yourself, I'll do it to me"

"You can't do that!" the warlock shouts horrified. "You are the king! You have a kingdom-"

"Our kingdom, Merlin! We built it together and it's nothing without you either"

"I'm just a servant, an illegal warlock now. My life doesn't matter."

"Don't ever say that again!" Arthur holds Merlin fiercely. "Didn't I tell you're the most valuable person to me? The only person I could trust with my life" tears run down his eyes.

"But.. I lied to you. I even tried to kill you"

"Lie to me then, kill me. You have my permission"

"Arthur-"

"No, I just got I glimse of what a life without you would be and I won't live it again. Not for a second. I can't lose you again".

"I can't lose you either". Merlin cries too. "My magic, everything I am, is yours. It has always been yours". Arthur caresses his cheek.

"Then let me take care of what it's mine"

Between tears, they kiss. Is not really tender or passionate, but pure necessity for the other.

"I'm sorry" Merlin snifs separating the kiss "Gods! My eyes won't stop shining" he says embarrasssed and tries to cover them.

"Don't" Arthur says while he uncovers his eyes gently. "They're beautiful" Merlin smiles but then sighs, sadly.

"The rest won't think the same"

"You don't have to worry about that"

Arthur gives Merlin a royal pardon so he's the 'only legal sorcerer' unless until he can make magic legal again completely. Gwen and the knights accept him inmediatly. The rest are wary at first but eventually they accept him too, when they realise he's the same clumsy servant they always knew. As Merlin recovers from his near death experience, his eyes glow less, but Arthur loves to see Merlin's eyes turn gold everytime.

Aaaand that's all I got. My imagination can't do much.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

happy (belated) birthday, sebek ✨ now here's an angsty idea--

Consider this post a throwback to this one 😇

***Spoilers for book 7 under the cut!!***

Imagine an alternate scenario for Sebek's dream where he and Silver still fight, but Malleus gives the explicit order that Sebek is to KILL Silver for his defiance 💀 How absolutely FUCKED would that be... Malleus knows that Sebek idolizes him and is as loyal as a puppy, so it's perfect to weaponize those feelings and have Sebek be the one to take out Silver, who is threatening to wake people from their dreams. I don't think Sebek would just blindly do as Malleus says (he'd definitely be hesitant and trying to reason with him), but MAN it'd be so twisted to hear Malleus manipulate Sebek with lines like "This is an ORDER from your prince", "Silver is a traitor", "Am I to question your loyalty as my retainer", etc. AND IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN THE AFTERMATH IF SEBEK DOES GO THROUGH WITH IT????? Silver dies in the dream and dies in real life... Sebek's there shaking, sobbing, trying not to be ill... Malleus nonchalantly tells him they should resume with the party now that the "rude guest" has been dealt with. He slides Sebek a slice of cake and pats him on the head, lavishing "his most loyal knight" with praise. But Sebek can't force himself to get it down, he dry heaves it up in revulsion... Malleus's face turns all dark and sinister... "Aaah, I see. The shock of the act woke you, didn't it?" He roughly cups Sebek's cheeks, nails biting into his flesh. "Fear not. We can always start anew. Sleep, Sebek, sleep..." Malleus can make him a new Silver in the next world. A better Silver. An agreeable one. Then they can all live happily ever after.