#'we make our own decisions our own choices and we have to live with them too'

[yemaomeow]

I’m thinking about the significance of atla showing both sides of every nation once again because it is so fucking important to understand for everyone, but especially youth that want to make change- that war isn’t as simple as good vs bad and evil vs good or black and white. war is such a complex thing and people are such complex beings that thinking about media that deal with these types of topics through only two lenses, is not a good way to try to find understanding. there is “good” and “bad” in everyone- atla stresses that the people who do manage to find peace in themselves are those who can balance these sides of themselves, but to get to that balance, you must accept that you have these qualities and that while people do not change, they can grow and accept.

there are examples of these kinds of people in every nation: the earth king is so naive to a fault that he led his own nation into ruin, but he did not have ill intention: he truly did want to keep his people safe vs long feng who used the king’s naivety and stubbornness to gain power. he did not care about the people.

in the fire nation we have lu ten, jeong jeong and roku. i feel that zuko and sozin and azula are talked about enough, but they are still relevant. anyways. lu ten was a product of his nation, yeah? he was raised to serve and to make the royal family proud. he was not evil. he was just working for the goal instilled in him- he was a soldier, a cousin and a son. this was his job and this is what he wanted to be- but because he had no other choices for what to make of his life, this is what he also had to be. he was a boy. jeong jeong did not find balance and peace in his work as a general so he escaped it- he did not escape it because he saw wrong in being a general, he escaped it because he saw wrong in the way fire was used as a whole. but he did not work to better the nation or to use his teachings for good. he vanished. roku had a similar approach like jeong jeong. he cowered away from confrontation, unlike others of his family and nation, and only pushed back when he (and other’s) were pushed to having no choice. with their inner conflicts about how to use their bending abilities, they made mistakes that concerned others and passed down their issues and solutions. this is incredibly human: learning from your mistakes while leaving others to solve them

in the water tribe: we have hamma, paku and kurkuk. hamma was a deeply scarred POW who craved the stability and freedom and home she was taken from, so all the suffering she endured, she wanted to give back simply because she wanted the people who hurt her to feel that pain and stop inflicting it onto others, but she got carried away. she became consumed by the urge to retaliate with feeling that she became the monster she accused others of being. paku was so focused on conserving tradition that he refused to open eyes to making brief changes because he feared toppling structure and the ideals he had- he feared ruining his home and culture, but he learned and he found a balance. kuruk relied on the world around him to determine his actions. he was a live and let go type of man, who should have acted sooner- he is similar to aang who just wanted to watch the world as it was and help where he was needed, but both of them needed their loved ones to be put in danger to make an ultimate decision. all of these characteristics are what lead to the downfall or upbringing of people who fight wars.

and the air nomads even: gyatso and aang. they spoke too late and acted even later. they were so consumed by the physicality of being good that they didn’t take action until they absolutely had to which just did not serve in their times. being pushed and letting yourself be pushed to extremes is just as bad as being the one to push others because you fail to stop or go at appropriate times.

everyone has faults that play into the destruction of lives. but no single person is at fault. we are all just products of our surroundings, but how we choose to become individuals as time moves and we grow is what makes it better or worse- but all of these characters? What did they do? What do they have in common? They all had significant scenes showing that they accepted this life and they can only grow or not grow in it

[lightasthesun]

if Filoni kills Cody and Obi-Wan lives 20 years in a desert thinking Cody betrayed him I will actually throw myself off a cliff

[allsadnshit]

Sometimes I think about my best friend in my 20's response to when I told her I was envious of how talented and skilled she was cause she was always the friend that was doing a million new hobbies and just really had it together in my eyes and she seemed so disappointed in me and said how she's always been perceived as "talented" for things she was not a natural at and had actually worked tirelessly hard to learn to do and how it's never a compliment to assume someone has something you don't simply because they got lucky because more often than not they were just as capable as you and just chose to take risks, dedicate time, push through discomforts or doubts that maybe you succumb to, and really earned things that are often nonchalantly disregarded by peers as having walking in with already in hand

And I feel like that conversation really changed me cause I've always been bad at school and been a slow learner so I just sort of decided I wasn't smart and it wasn't my fault I wasn't born with the same advantages of people around me and I think that's something we all do as self protection from the truth that the only thing truly keeping us from what we want is usually ourselves and our decisions about our own narratives that aren't actually in stone even if we see them that way

I realized my friend was actually just not a quitter, and that she also felt not good enough often but decided to keep going in times where I know I would have stopped in her place

And I feel like taking ownership of my life a lot in the last few years has made me understand her better, even with stuff like chronic illness that practically begs us to victimize ourselves and then that way of thinking makes us sicker and more dependent on others when we could be accepting help without considering ourselves so helpless

It's really weird interacting with anyone once I've realized so much of that because I see my old self in people when they talk to me like I have something they don't because I am finally making different choices than I used to and honestly it is very irritating regardless of intention

If you want something someone else has that doesn't give you permission to assume how they got it or what it is even like having it - and I think more and more people have decided it's not their fault how they are choosing to live and that's why they are so stuck

[felassan]

The Next Dragon Age Has a New Title

by Author - BioWare - Posted on June 6, 2024

"Join us on Tuesday, June 11 for the Official Gameplay Reveal Hi everyone, Summer is nearly upon us, and as promised, we’re ready to provide an update on our big reveal. We’d like to invite the world to join us on Tuesday, June 11, for the official first look at gameplay for the next Dragon Age! After Dragon Age: Inquisition launched, the studio was given an incredible opportunity to explore, test, and validate a variety of gameplay concepts as we worked to determine what the next Dragon Age could look like. We brought everything to the table which, yes, even included a multiplayer concept. The time we spent experimenting and iterating gradually taught us a lot. This work, and the amazing support from EA, helped us re-focus on creating an incredible single player game, with all the choices, characters and world building you’d expect from us. At BioWare, we create worlds of adventure, conflict and companionship, where you’re at the center of it all. As fans of our franchise know, every Dragon Age game has delivered a new standalone story. Set in the world of Thedas, these tales explore epic locales and threats, always thrusting you into a new conflict. Each game also introduces a new lead hero – The Warden, Hawke, The Inquisitor – that you can call your own. You can expect all that, and more, with the new game. And of course, much like your unique hero, it wouldn’t be a Dragon Age game without an amazing cast of companions – right?  Each of the seven unique characters that make up your companions will have deep and compelling storylines where the decisions you make will impact your relationships with them – as well as their lives. You’ll unite this team of unforgettable heroes as you take on a terrifying new threat unleashed on the world. Naturally, the Dread Wolf still has an important part in this tale, but you and your companions – not your enemies – are the heart of this new experience. So, to capture what this game is all about, we changed the name as the original title didn’t show just how strongly we feel about our new heroes, their stories and how you’ll need to bring them together to save all of Thedas. We proudly introduce to you Dragon Age™: The Veilguard.

We know you’ve been waiting a long time for this reveal and we’re so ready to show you what we’ve been up to. We’ll see you on Tuesday, June 11th at 8:00am PT at the Dragon Age YouTube channel with over 15 minutes of gameplay from the opening moments of the game that has you jumping back into Thedas on your new adventure. This moment means so much to everyone at BioWare, and we wouldn’t be here without you. We’re ready to have some fun, so join the chat early…we’ve got a few special surprises for you.  Thank you for all your support. See you soon, Gary McKay Executive Producer, Dragon Age, and General Manager, BioWare"

[source]

[jabba-the-fett]

“We make our own decisions. Our own choices. And we have to live with them too” - Commander Cody

Idk how digital art works, but here’s a Commander Cody I spent way too much time on

[internm0thb0y]

Happy Cody Day!!! (2/2/24) 🧡🧡🧡

here are some memes I made for the one and only :)

"We make our own decisions. Our own choices. And we have to live with them too."

@codyday2224

[amysubmits]

Owning Me Is Complicated

Occasionally I come across content that makes it seem like being a Dom is easy.

Order her around, make her do the things you don't want to do, do whatever you want, "win" all the disagreements because you're the dom - or even silence her from disagreeing with you to begin with. Get sex exactly how you want it, exactly when you want it. She's just a living, breathing object that can and will do whatever you want. She has no needs other than to make your life easier. She's your own personal robot, but with a body you want to fuck. Being a dom is like a regular relationship but without the emotional labor. I'm sure there are other gender versions out there too, but I see the M/f version most often. It's so funny to me how absurd that all is compared to real life.

Owning me is complicated. Owning me means doing way more emotional labor than a vanilla relationship would require, not less.

Yes, I do what he says - but he's responsible for making the best decisions he can. He's in charge, so keeping me physically and emotionally safe is his responsibility. It's a huge part of how he earns my submission. It's no small thing to make decisions when making them well is part of how he keeps me safe and keeps me open and trusting towards him. Yes, I'll try to push my sexual limits for him - but I have complex emotional needs that accompany physical intimacy. Use my body without having respect for my physical and mental health and it'll fall apart real quick. And once again, making a reckless decision here that would leave me damaged and could forever damage our dynamic. Sure, he can take his cock out anytime and instruct me to suck and I will, but that doesn't mean it's all fun and games. He has the burden of double and triple checking that he isn't pushing me too far, or taking too much as to leave me empty. Yes, he gets the final say in disagreements, but he earns that by hearing me out. He couldn't keep me submissive if he didn't respect my feelings. I can't feel respected if I'm not heard. So he has to hear me out and really listen. And then his job is to attempt to get the best outcome for both of us. He has to try to balance our needs, because if either of us gets neglected, we individually suffer and then the relationship suffers. So he sometimes deals with the weight of threading the needle between his needs and mine, his wants and mine. His shoulders carry the weight of those choices. Yes, he can deny my wishes - and even my needs for a time, if he chose. But I am human. How long can he deny me things that bring me pleasure before I start to feel unwanted, unloved, disrespected, thrown out? Resentment would set in eventually. Self-protection would kick in eventually...and it might be too late by then, the damage may be done by the time I would wake up to look around and decide I didn't want to live like this anymore. Why would he want to even find out, given that he loves me? He wouldn't. He has a sadistic streak, so he likes to deny me things I like so that I long for them even more for a while. He likes to see me eager, desperate to get it when he decides to give it. He likes to watch me tolerate discomfort for him. Playing with these ideas require a deep understanding of my needs and limits. He has to know where "desperate for you 🥺 " starts to fade and "That goblin in the back of my head is starting to worry I'm not valued" starts to enter my thoughts. Yes, I look to him to guide and lead, and he has a lot of power and control - but that comes with the ability to destroy and damage. There's nothing easy about ownership if you feel the weight of the responsibility you're carrying.

[daretoassume]

77 quotes to change your perspective

carl jung

"if the path before you is clear, you are probably on someone else's."

"until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate."

"the world will ask who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you."

"it all depends on how we look at things and not how they are in themselves."

"there is no coming to consciousness without pain."

joe dispenza

"can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you do not need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?"

"if you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself and reinvent a new self."

"if you were to start investing your attention and energy into the unknown, your body would then be able to follow your mind into the unknown—a new experience in your future."

"if you cannot get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you cannot create a new future where those things do not exist."

"if you focus on the known, you get the known. if you focus on the unknown, you create a possibility."

eckhart tolle

"the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."

"life is not as serious as the mind makes it out to be."

"you find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life but by realizing who you are at the deepest level."

"pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within."

"most of the so-called bad things that happen in people's lives are due to unconsciousness. they are self-created, or rather ego-created."

wayne dyer

"when you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."

"you are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be."

"begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul."

"be miserable. or motivate yourself. whatever has to be done, it is always your choice."

"you are what you choose to be today. not what you have chosen to be before."

louise hay

"every thought we think is creating our future."

"i do not fix problems. i fix my thinking. then problems fix themselves."

"you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it has not worked. try approving of yourself and see what happens."

"there is no written law that says that because you once believed something, you have to continue to believe it forever."

"the more we love ourselves, the less we project our pain onto the world."

jen sincero

"if you are serious about changing your life, you will find a way. if you are not, you will find an excuse."

"your life is your party. you get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it."

"you need to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life."

"what you tell yourself on a daily basis is more powerful than you know."

"comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life."

tony robbins

"it is your decisions and not your conditions that determine your destiny."

"you cannot have a plan for your day until you have a plan for your life."

"belief in limits creates limited people."

"the only thing that is keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself."

"if i could uncover what beliefs and values control me, i could literally redesign myself."

marcus aurelius

"the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."

"our life is what our thoughts make it."

"the best revenge is not to be like your enemy."

"every living organism is fulfilled when it follows the right path for its own nature."

"today i escaped anxiety. or no, i discarded it because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside."

jay shetty

"the more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are."

"actually, the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you."

"it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others."

"if you are satisfied with who you are, you do not need to prove your worth to anyone else."

"the grass is greener where you water it."

mel robbins

"if you only ever did the things you do not want to do, you would have everything you have ever wanted."

"you are one decision away from a completely different life."

"when it comes to change, goals, and dreams, you have to bet on yourself."

"change your decisions, and you will change your life. and what will change your decisions more than anything? courage."

"if you have the courage to start, you have the courage to succeed."

alan watts

"man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."

"never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command."

"you are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."

"a person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. so, he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions."

"hurrying and delaying are alike ways of trying to resist the present."

ram dass

"the quieter you become, the more you can hear."

"your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness."

"i can do nothing for you but work on myself…you can do nothing for me but work on yourself."

"free yourself from the illusion of good and bad days. labeling time makes us nostalgic for the past and demanding the future. there is only here and now. let it be."

"no matter what someone else does to you, never put anyone out of your heart."

lao tzu

"care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner."

"the best fighter is never angry."

"respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment."

"if you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."

"nature never hurries, yet everything is accomplished."

muhammad ali

"if my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it—then i can achieve it."

"do not quit. suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."

"he who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life."

"i have never let anyone talk me into not believing in myself."

"i am the greatest. i said that even before i knew i was."

steve harvey

"you cannot leave what is important to you up to someone else."

"stop wasting time looking at someone else's reality while doing nothing about yours."

"the dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately."

"your dream has to be bigger than your fear."

"you cannot tell big dreams to small-minded people."

albert einstein

"i am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. imagination is more important than knowledge. knowledge is limited. imagination encircles the world."

"anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

𓍯 entryfromsane004 (extracted from the old blog two years ago)

[baelabong]

ʜɪᴅᴅᴇɴ ᴘᴛ.2

(ᴋᴀʀɪɴᴀ x ꜰᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

rq; yes // wd: 5.5k words

Pairing: Knight!G!P!Karina x Princess!fem reader

note/warning: pt2 of hidden. ik that the anon requested something slightly differetn but i only saw the idea until after i wrote it BAHHHAHA. luckily it is slightly similar .... just a little yk. anyways. sex, g!p rina, creampie

Pt.1

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N’s breath catches in her throat at Mark’s sudden proposal. The grand ballroom seems to quiet, as if the entire kingdom is waiting for her response. Mark’s eyes are filled with a mixture of hope and determination, but all Y/N can think about is Karina—her secret love, standing just out of sight.

Time seems to slow as Y/N processes the weight of the proposal. The alliance with Mark’s family would indeed be powerful, and it would secure her kingdom’s future. But at what cost? Her heart pounds as she contemplates the life she’d be forced to live—a life without Karina, where duty and appearances would take precedence over her own happiness.

Mark, sensing her hesitation, gently takes her hand. “Y/N,” he says softly, “I know this is sudden, but I believe we could be strong together. You and I could bring prosperity and peace to our kingdoms. Please, consider it.”

Y/N forces a smile, her mind racing for a response. She glances towards the shadows, where she knows Karina is watching. The thought of a life without her feels unbearable, yet she’s bound by duty and the expectations placed upon her. She can’t openly refuse Mark without risking scandal and unrest.

Finally, she speaks, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside. “Your Grace, this is a generous offer, and I am deeply honored by your proposal. But this is a significant decision, one that affects not just us, but our kingdoms. I must ask for time to consider it.”

Mark’s expression flickers with disappointment, but he quickly masks it with a gracious smile. “Of course, Princess. Take all the time you need. I’ll await your decision with hope.”

With a polite bow, Mark steps back, allowing Y/N a moment to breathe. She nods in response, her heart still racing as she watches him walk away. The court begins to buzz with whispers, but Y/N pays them no mind. All she can think about is getting to Karina.

As soon as she’s able, Y/N excuses herself from the ballroom. She quickly makes her way to the secluded corridor where she knows Karina is waiting. When she sees her knight, standing with an unreadable expression, the floodgates of her emotions break open.

“Karina…” Y/N begins, her voice trembling. “He proposed. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t… I couldn’t refuse him outright.”

Karina’s eyes darken, a mixture of pain and understanding evident in her gaze. She steps closer, taking Y/N’s hands in hers. “I know,” she says softly, her voice strained. “You’re doing what you have to for your kingdom. But what about us, Y/N? Where do we stand?”

Y/N’s heart aches at the uncertainty in Karina’s voice. “I don’t know,” she admits, tears welling up in her eyes. “I can’t imagine a life without you, but if I accept his proposal, I’d be bound to him. I’d lose you.”

Karina pulls Y/N into a tight embrace, her voice filled with quiet desperation. “Then don’t accept it. We can find a way, Y/N. We can leave—escape this life and start anew. I can’t stand the thought of losing you to him.”

Y/N closes her eyes, resting her head against Karina’s shoulder as she tries to calm the storm inside her. The weight of duty and love pulls her in opposite directions, and she feels utterly torn. But one thing is clear: she can’t make this decision alone.

“Give me time,” Y/N whispers, her voice breaking. “I need to think. I need to figure out what to do.”

Karina nods, though the pain in her eyes remains. “I’ll wait for you, Y/N. Whatever you decide, I’ll be here.”

With that, they share a tender, lingering kiss, a reminder of the love they share and the difficult choices ahead. Y/N knows that whatever path she choose, it will change her life forever—and she can only hope she has the strength to make the right one.

—------

The next morning, Y/N wakes up to the sound of frantic knocking on her chamber door. Her heart skips a beat as she sits up, feeling the weight of the previous night’s turmoil still heavy on her shoulders. But as she sees the pale, trembling face of her lady-in-waiting as she enters, a deep dread settles in her chest.

“Your Highness,” the lady stammers, “it’s your father… The king… He’s—he’s gone.”

Y/N’s breath catches, and she feels a cold wave of shock wash over her. “What do you mean?” she whispers, already fearing the answer.

“They found him in his chambers this morning,” the lady-in-waiting explains, her voice thick with tears. “The royal physician says… he was poisoned.”

The words hit Y/N like a physical blow, and she staggers back, feeling as if the ground has been ripped out from beneath her. “No,” she gasps, her mind reeling. “That can’t be… Who would do such a thing?”

Before the lady can respond, Y/N rushes out of her chambers, her heart pounding in her ears. She navigates the winding corridors, her mind racing with horror and confusion, until she finds herself at the one place she feels she might find answers: Karina’s quarters.

She bursts through the door, her breath coming in ragged gasps. Karina stands by the window, her back to Y/N, seemingly calm despite the chaos erupting in the palace.

“Karina,” Y/N calls out, her voice breaking. “Tell me you know nothing of this… Tell me you had nothing to do with my father’s death!”

Slowly, Karina turns to face her, her expression unreadable. But as she takes a step closer to Y/N, something cold and resolute flickers in her eyes.

“I did this all for you, my queen,” Karina says, her voice steady but laced with a dark intensity. “Everything I’ve done has been to protect you, to free you from the chains that bind you. He was never going to let you be with me—he would have forced you to marry Mark, to fulfill some duty you never asked for.”

Y/N stares at Karina in disbelief, her heart breaking all over again. “You… you poisoned him?” she whispers, the words barely making it past her lips. “You killed my father?”

Karina steps closer, reaching out to Y/N, but she recoils, feeling a wave of nausea rise within her. “He was going to take you away from me, Y/N,” Karina says, her voice now tinged with desperation. “I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t lose you.”

Y/N feels like she’s drowning, caught between the love she feels for Karina and the horror of what she’s done. “You think this is what I wanted?” she cries, tears streaming down her face. “I never wanted this, Karina! How could you do something so monstrous and think it would make things better?”

Karina’s face crumples in pain, but she doesn’t back down. “I did it for us,” she insists. “For you. Now you’re free, Y/N. You don’t have to marry Mark, or anyone else. You can be with me, the way we’ve always wanted.”

But Y/N shakes her head, stepping back toward the door. “I can’t… I can’t even look at you right now,” she chokes out. “You took away my father, my family—everything I’ve ever known. How am I supposed to live with that?”

Karina’s eyes fill with tears as she watches Y/N retreat. “Y/N, please… I love you. I did this because I love you.”

Y/N hesitates at the door, her heart shattered into a million pieces. “Love?” she whispers bitterly. “This isn’t love, Karina. This is something else entirely.”

Y/N’s world felt like it was crumbling beneath her feet. The shock of Karina’s confession, the horror of what she had done—it was all too much. She turns to leave, needing to escape, needing to think. But before she can take another step, Karina’s voice, laced with desperation, pierces through her like a knife.

“Y/N, wait!” Karina’s voice cracks, her eyes wide with frantic desperation as she rushes toward Y/N, grabbing her arm. “Please, you have to understand—I did this for you! Everything I’ve done, it was all for you!”

Y/N tries to pull away, shaking her head, her thoughts a chaotic mess. “Karina… you killed my father,” she whispers, the words tasting like ash in her mouth. “How could you think this was for me? How could you—”

Before she can finish, Karina’s face twists with a wild mix of hurt, frustration, and something darker. In a surge of raw emotion, she pounces on Y/N, pushing her back against the nearest wall, pinning her there with a force that makes Y/N’s breath hitch. 

“This is what you wanted!” Karina hisses through gritted teeth, her body pressing into Y/N’s, her hands gripping Y/N’s wrists tightly. “You said you didn’t want to marry Mark, you said you didn’t want to be queen—was that all a lie? Why can’t you just listen to me?”

Y/N’s mind is spinning, her heart racing as Karina’s words and touch overwhelm her senses. She feels trapped, not just by Karina’s physical hold, but by the intensity of the emotions crashing over her. “Karina, please, I—”

But Karina doesn’t let her finish. “Am I not enough for you, Y/N?” Karina’s voice is low and rough, trembling with barely contained fury. “Is that it? Do you want Mark instead? Is that what you want?” Her breath is hot against Y/N’s skin, and beads of sweat drip down Karina’s forehead, her eyes blazing with a desperate need for validation.

Y/N’s head feels foggy, the world spinning around her as Karina’s words sink in, tangling with her own confused emotions. Karina’s grip, her proximity, the raw intensity in her voice—it all leaves Y/N feeling lost, like she’s drowning in Karina’s desperation. “I… I don’t know, I…”

But Karina’s hold tightens, her nails digging into Y/N’s wrists as she pushes closer, her lips inches from Y/N’s ear. “If you wanted to marry Mark, just say it,” Karina growls, her voice harsh and desperate. “Tell me that everything we’ve had together meant nothing, that you’d throw it all away for him. Is that what you want, Y/N? Is it?”

Y/N’s resolve shatters under the weight of Karina’s onslaught, her mind clouded with confusion and a growing sense of helplessness. “No, no… Karina, I—” But the words that escape her lips are incoherent, lost in the storm of emotions tearing through her. She feels herself slipping, her mind giving way to the intensity of the moment, the lines between right and wrong blurring until all she can do is babble out whatever words come to her lips, desperate to calm Karina, to stop the spiraling chaos.

“I… I don’t want Mark, Karina… I don’t know… I just… I just want you…” The words spill out, barely making sense, driven by her overwhelming need to ease Karina’s pain, to make everything stop, even if just for a moment.

Karina’s grip softens slightly, a twisted sense of triumph flashing in her eyes as she hears Y/N’s words. “That’s right… It’s just us, Y/N… It’s always been just us,” she murmurs, her tone taking on a dangerous edge of satisfaction as she leans in closer, claiming Y/N in that moment, her breath hot against Y/N’s neck.

Y/N’s body reacts on instinct, her mind too lost in the whirlwind of emotions to resist, to think clearly. She clings to Karina, her words reduced to soft, incoherent murmurs, nodding weakly, her thoughts a chaotic mess of confusion, fear, and a deep, aching need for everything to be okay. But nothing is okay, and deep down, she knows it—she’s just too lost in Karina’s intensity to remember that right now.

Karina’s lips curl into a small, twisted smile as she presses herself against Y/N, her grip firm but no longer painful. “See?” she whispers, her voice almost soothing now, though it’s laced with a possessive edge. “This is what you wanted all along… just us… together…”

Y/N’s head lolls to the side, her breaths coming in shallow gasps as she clings to Karina, too overwhelmed, too lost to protest anymore. All she can do is nod and whisper, “Just us… just us…” as the room spins around her, and everything fades into the background, leaving only Karina and the suffocating weight of their twisted connection.

———-

The grand hall was filled with the muted murmur of anticipation as the nobles and courtiers gathered, their eyes fixed on the ornate throne that awaited its new ruler. Sunlight streamed through the stained glass windows, casting vibrant patterns across the stone floor, but the room’s beauty was marred by an undercurrent of unease. Whispers about the sudden death of the former king, the strange circumstances surrounding it, and the swift rise of the new queen were still fresh in everyone’s minds.

Y/N stood at the foot of the throne, her heart pounding in her chest. She was draped in a gown of deep crimson, the color of power and blood, with a heavy golden crown resting atop her head. It was a crown that felt too heavy, too large for her, yet she couldn’t afford to falter now. Not with everything that had happened, not with Karina at her side, her ever-watchful gaze fixed on Y/N, a silent reminder of everything they had sacrificed to reach this moment.

The royal advisor stepped forward, holding the ancient scepter of the kingdom, his expression neutral as he presented it to Y/N. “Do you, Y/N, swear to rule this kingdom with wisdom, justice, and mercy?” His voice echoed in the vast hall, the words carrying the weight of centuries of tradition.

Y/N’s throat was dry, but she managed a nod, her voice steady despite the storm of emotions raging inside her. “I swear it.”

The advisor inclined his head and placed the scepter in Y/N’s outstretched hand. The touch of the cold metal sent a shiver down her spine, but she gripped it tightly, willing herself to appear strong, composed, every inch the queen she was now expected to be.

“Then by the power vested in me,” the advisor continued, “I proclaim you, Y/N, Queen of this realm.”

A ripple of applause spread through the room, polite and restrained, but Y/N could sense the tension beneath it. She forced a smile as she ascended the steps to the throne, each movement measured and deliberate. As she reached the top, she hesitated for the briefest of moments before turning to sit upon the throne, the weight of the crown and scepter grounding her in the reality of her new position.

Beside her, Karina stood tall, dressed in regal attire that matched Y/N’s own, her eyes gleaming with a dangerous pride. As Y/N sat, Karina stepped forward, her hand lightly brushing against Y/N’s shoulder, a subtle but possessive gesture that sent a clear message to all who were watching: this was not just Y/N’s ascension to power; it was theirs.

The advisor, his expression betraying nothing, addressed the room once more. “And as tradition dictates, the queen’s chosen consort shall be named as reigning king, to rule beside her as her equal and protector.”

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as Karina stepped forward to accept the crown of the reigning king. The whispers in the hall grew louder, a mix of surprise, disapproval, and grudging acceptance rippling through the gathered nobles. Karina’s rise had been swift and unexpected, but none could deny the bond between her and Y/N, or the power she now wielded at Y/N’s side.

The crown was placed upon Karina’s head, and she turned to face Y/N, her expression one of fierce, unyielding loyalty. Y/N met her gaze, the weight of the moment pressing down on her, but there was no turning back now. This was the path they had chosen, for better or for worse.

With Karina by her side, Y/N felt a strange mix of fear and reassurance. She knew that Karina’s ambition had no bounds, that her love was as dangerous as it was deep. But she also knew that Karina would protect her, would do anything to keep her on the throne—even if it meant sacrificing everything and everyone else.

As they stood before the gathered court, the new rulers of the realm, Y/N felt Karina’s hand slip into hers, the touch warm and possessive. “This is our moment, my queen,” Karina whispered, her voice low and intense, meant only for Y/N. “No one can stand against us now.”

Y/N swallowed hard, nodding slightly, even as doubts gnawed at the edges of her mind. She was a queen now, and Karina was her king. They were bound together, for better or for worse, and the kingdom would have to follow where they led.

The court erupted in a final round of applause, louder this time, though still tinged with uncertainty. Y/N raised her head, looking out over the sea of faces, forcing herself to wear the mask of confidence and authority that was now expected of her.

But as the cheers filled the hall, Y/N couldn’t shake the feeling that she had crossed a line she could never return from—that the price of power, of Karina’s love, was far higher than she had ever imagined.

And yet, with Karina by her side, her hand still gripping hers tightly, Y/N knew she had no choice but to continue down the path they had forged together. For better or for worse, they were now the rulers of this kingdom, and nothing would ever be the same again.

———-

The kingdom had been thrown into the chaos of war, the once peaceful lands now ravaged by the clashing forces of Y/N’s and Mark’s armies. The conflict had been inevitable, with tensions rising ever since Y/N had ascended the throne and Karina had claimed her place as reigning king. Mark, unable to accept Y/N’s swift rise to power and her sudden engagement to Karina, had rallied his forces, leading to a brutal confrontation that left the kingdom teetering on the edge of destruction.

The news of Karina’s injury reached Y/N like a bolt of lightning, striking her to her core. She had never imagined that the war would come so close to taking away the one person she had come to rely on so completely. As the battle raged on, Karina had been at the forefront, leading the charge with fierce determination, but the cost had been steep.

When Karina finally returned to the castle, bloodied and battered, Y/N’s heart clenched with fear and anger. She rushed to Karina’s side, her emotions a whirlwind as she scolded her for putting herself in such danger.

“What were you thinking, Karina?” Y/N’s voice trembled as she helped Karina into their chambers, her hands shaking as she began to treat the deep gashes and bruises that marred Karina’s body. “You could have been killed! I can’t lose you, too.”

Karina winced as Y/N’s fingers brushed over a particularly nasty wound on her side, but her gaze remained steady, locked onto Y/N’s. “I had to protect you, my queen. I promised I would always keep you safe.”

“But at what cost?” Y/N snapped, her frustration boiling over as she dabbed at the wound with a cloth. “You’re not invincible, Karina. I need you—alive.”

Karina’s lips quirked into a half-smile, despite the pain. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Y/N huffed, biting back a retort as she continued to clean and bandage Karina’s wounds. Her hands moved with practiced precision, but her mind was a storm of worry and fear. The thought of losing Karina, of being alone in this ruthless world, was too much to bear.

As Y/N worked, Karina’s gaze never left her. She could see the fear in Y/N’s eyes, the vulnerability that she rarely allowed herself to show. It tugged at something deep within Karina, a protective instinct that she couldn’t ignore.

“Y/N,” Karina said softly, her voice cutting through the tense silence. “Come here.”

Y/N looked up, her eyes meeting Karina’s. She hesitated for a moment before stepping closer, her breath hitching as Karina’s strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her onto her lap. The sudden closeness made Y/N’s heart race, her body pressing against Karina’s bare skin, the warmth of her lover’s body seeping into her own.

“I’ll never lose you,” Karina murmured, her voice thick with emotion. “Not like you lost your father. I’ll protect you with everything I have, even if it costs me my life.”

Y/N’s heart ached at the sincerity in Karina’s voice, but before she could respond, she felt a sudden shift beneath her. Karina’s length hardened against her thigh, the pressure sending a jolt of heat through Y/N’s body.

Both of them moaned at the same time, the tension between them crackling like electricity. Y/N’s breath quickened, her body reacting instinctively to the sensation. Without thinking, she reached down, fumbling with the ties of her gown, her hands trembling with urgency.

Karina watched her, her eyes darkening with desire as Y/N stripped off her clothes, leaving herself bare to Karina’s gaze. Y/N’s skin flushed with a mix of embarrassment and need, but she couldn’t stop herself, the intense connection between them driving her actions.

As soon as Y/N was fully undressed, she positioned herself over Karina, her breath coming in short, ragged gasps. The air between them was thick with tension, an electric charge that had been simmering for far too long. Karina’s hands gripped Y/N’s hips eagerly, pulling her down onto her hardened, thick length. The moment their bodies connected, both of them cried out, the sudden pressure sending shockwaves of pleasure through them.

But Y/N’s emotions were far from just pleasure. Beneath the surface, a storm of anger and frustration raged, fueled by Karina’s reckless actions. Without any warning, Y/N began to move, riding Karina with a brutal, punishing rhythm. Each thrust was hard and purposeful, as if Y/N was trying to imprint her fury onto Karina’s very soul.

“You reckless, stubborn fool,” Y/N spat, her hand shooting out to grip Karina’s neck. Her fingers tightened around Karina’s throat just enough to make her gasp, her eyes wide with a mix of surprise and arousal. “Do you have any idea how close you came to getting yourself killed?”

Karina’s response was a strangled moan, her body arching beneath Y/N’s relentless pace. She tried to speak, but Y/N wasn’t slowing down, each thrust deeper and more forceful than the last. “I-I’m sorry… I just… ahhh, Y/N…!”

“Sorry isn’t good enough,” Y/N growled, leaning in closer, her breath hot against Karina’s ear as she ground down harder, her body clenching around Karina with every downward thrust. “You almost left me alone, Karina. You think you can just risk your life like that? You think I’d just let you go?”

Karina’s hands clutched desperately at Y/N’s hips, trying and failing to match the brutal pace. Her voice was a desperate, breathy whine as she clung to Y/N, her words tumbling out in a frantic rush. “I-I’ll never do it again… please, Y/N… you’re so… so good… I’m yours, only yours…”

Y/N’s eyes flashed with a mix of anger and possessive need. She shifted her angle, grinding down with even more force, and Karina’s loud cry filled the room. “You like how good I’m riding you?” Y/N hissed, her voice laced with dominance as she continued to move with relentless intensity. “You like feeling me take you like this?”

Karina’s response was an incoherent moan, her body trembling beneath Y/N’s as the pleasure mounted to an unbearable peak. She tried to throw her head back, overwhelmed by the sensations coursing through her, but Y/N’s hand shot up, tangling in her hair, yanking her head forward until their eyes locked.

“Look at me while I fuck you,” Y/N demanded, her voice rough, her gaze burning into Karina’s. “If you die, you never get this again. You’ll never feel me like this, never have me like this.”

Karina’s eyes widened, her breath hitching at the raw, possessive intensity in Y/N’s voice. The force of Y/N’s words, coupled with the unyielding rhythm of her movements, sent Karina spiraling into a state of desperate need. Her body tightened around Y/N’s thick, girthy length, the heat between them building to an unbearable peak.

“Y/N… I-I can’t… please…!” Karina’s voice was high-pitched, almost frantic, as she teetered on the edge. Her body was on fire, the pleasure blurring the lines between pain and ecstasy. “Please… please… please let me come in you… I need you…”

Y/N’s grip on Karina’s hair tightened, forcing her to maintain eye contact. “Promise me,” Y/N snarled, her hips slamming down with brutal force, each thrust sending shockwaves through Karina’s body. “Promise me you’ll never be so reckless again. You belong to me, Karina. No one else gets to have you.”

“I promise! I promise!” Karina’s voice was breathless, her words tumbling out in a desperate plea. “I’m yours, Y/N… only yours… I’ll never do it again… please…!”

Y/N’s eyes blazed as she leaned in even closer, her breath hot against Karina’s lips. “You promised me babies,” she hissed, her tone possessive and filled with raw emotion. “You can’t give them to me if you die, you dumbass. I’m your queen, Karina. You live for me, understand?”

Karina’s heart raced, her eyes wide with a mix of arousal and desperation. “I-I understand… Y/N, I’ll do anything… please… fill me up so good… I need you…”

With one final, punishing thrust, Y/N sent them both over the edge. Karina’s orgasm hit her like a tidal wave, her body convulsing as she cried out, her release crashing over her with a force that left her breathless. Her thick, girthy length throbbed inside Y/N, pumping so much that it spilled out, warm and slick, even as Y/N’s own climax ripped through her with such intensity that she almost couldn’t breathe, her body shaking as she milked every last drop of pleasure from their connection.

Even as they came down from their high, Y/N didn’t let go of Karina’s hair, her eyes still locked on hers, a silent reminder of the promise she had extracted. Y/N leaned back slightly, looking down at the mess between them, a satisfied smirk playing on her lips. “Oops,” she murmured, her tone teasing as she took her finger and scooped up some of the cum that had spilled out of her. “I guess you’ll have to fill me up again.”

Before Karina could respond, Y/N brought her finger to Karina’s lips, watching with satisfaction as Karina’s eyes fluttered shut, her tongue darting out to taste the mixture of their fluids. The sight only fueled the fire inside Karina, a growl rumbling in her chest as she grabbed Y/N and flipped her onto the bed.

Without wasting a second, Karina positioned herself over Y/N, her eyes dark with hunger and need. “You want me to fill you up again?” she asked, her voice low and filled with a dangerous edge. “Then you’re going to take every last drop.”

With that, Karina positioned herself over Y/N once again, her eyes burning with a fierce, possessive heat. She plunged back into Y/N with a renewed vigor, her thrusts hard and deep, each movement a testament to her unyielding desire. The room was filled with their passionate cries and the sounds of their bodies colliding, a testament to the intense, unbreakable bond that had been forged between them.

And with that, Karina thrust back into Y/N with renewed intensity, her pace rough and unyielding, determined to claim her all over again. The room was filled with the sounds of their bodies colliding, moans and cries echoing as they both lost themselves in the raw, primal connection between them. Karina’s movements were driven by a wild need, her body demanding more, giving more, as she pushed them both to the brink again and again, determined to make Y/N hers completely, to leave no doubt who she belonged to.

Y/N’s moans were high and breathless, punctuated by gasps and whimpers as Karina’s powerful thrusts drove her to the edge once more. Each movement was a blend of fierce passion and raw, unrestrained energy. “Karina… yes… just like that,” Y/N gasped, her voice trembling with a mix of pleasure and desperation. “You’re mine, remember? Don’t you dare hold back.”

Karina’s face was flushed, her eyes glazed with a primal hunger as she looked down at Y/N. “I’m yours,” she growled, her voice ragged. “I’m yours, Y/N. I’ll always be yours. I’ll give you everything, just… just keep taking it.”

Y/N’s fingers dug into Karina’s shoulders as she tried to steady herself, her body moving in sync with Karina’s relentless thrusts. “If you really mean that,” she panted, “then you’ll show me, won’t you? Fill me up completely. Show me how much you want me.”

Karina’s breath hitched as she accelerated her pace, the intensity of her movements making her entire body tremble. “I want you so much,” Karina moaned, her voice cracking with the effort. “I need you. I need to feel you, to make you mine. I want to hear you scream my name.”

Y/N’s body tensed with each powerful thrust, the pleasure coursing through her as Karina took her with a voracious hunger. “That’s it,” Y/N encouraged, her voice a mixture of command and supplication. “Don’t stop. Make me yours again and again. Let everyone know who I belong to.”

Karina’s pace became even more frenzied, her hands gripping Y/N’s hips with a force that bordered on desperate. “I’m going to make you come so hard,” Karina growled, her voice barely more than a whisper as she pressed her forehead against Y/N’s. “You’ll be filled with me, every inch. I’m going to make sure you’re completely mine.”

The heat between them was palpable, their bodies slick with sweat as Karina’s thrusts grew even more erratic, driven by an all-consuming need. Y/N’s cries grew louder, more urgent, each sound a testament to the overwhelming pleasure that was coursing through her.

“I’m so close,” Y/N gasped, her eyes locking onto Karina’s with a fierce intensity. “I need to come… I need you to make me come again. Don’t stop until you’ve filled me up.”

Karina’s eyes widened with a mixture of determination and lust, her entire being focused on bringing Y/N to the brink once more. “I won’t stop,” Karina promised, her voice raw with emotion. “I’ll give you everything, every last drop. I need to see you fall apart for me.”

With a final, forceful thrust, Karina’s climax hit her like a tidal wave. She gasped and cried out, her body convulsing as her release spilled over Y/N, warm and thick. The sensation was so intense that it spilled out of Y/N, dripping down between them, mixing with their sweat and desire.

Y/N’s body tensed and shuddered as she reached her peak, her cries merging with Karina’s as they both rode the waves of their mutual ecstasy. The pleasure was almost overwhelming, their bodies entangled in a primal dance of need and fulfillment.

—--------

The aftermath of the battle left the kingdom in shambles, but amid the chaos and bloodshed, Y/N and Karina emerged as the rulers of a fractured realm. The grandeur of their coronation was shadowed by the scars they bore from their tumultuous path to power. As they stood side by side in the grand hall, the atmosphere was a mixture of reluctant respect and underlying tension from the nobility.

Years had passed since that fateful day when Y/N had ascended the throne and Karina had become her consort. The kingdom had been rebuilt, and Y/N and Karina had forged a new legacy—one marked by both triumphs and sacrifices. Their love had weathered the storm of political intrigue and personal tragedy, evolving into a bond that was both powerful and tumultuous.

Now, in the serene setting of their private garden, Y/N and Karina stood with their two children. The royal family was a portrait of unity and strength. Their son, a lively boy with a crown of tousled hair, played at their feet, while their daughter, a serene and observant child, clung to Y/N's hand.

Y/N looked over at Karina, her gaze softening as she watched her partner interact with their children. The intense, often turbulent passion that had defined their relationship had transformed into a deep, abiding love, tempered by the challenges they had faced together. The shadows of their past were still present, but they were now overshadowed by the light of their family and their shared future.

As Y/N knelt beside their children, her heart swelled with pride and contentment. Karina joined her, wrapping an arm around Y/N's shoulders, pulling her close. The warmth of their embrace spoke volumes about the journey they had traveled together and the strength of their bond.

Their children, innocent and unaware of the complexities of their parents' rise to power, played happily in the garden, their laughter a symbol of hope and renewal. Y/N and Karina exchanged a look of quiet understanding, knowing that despite everything, they had built something beautiful and lasting.

“Look at them,” Karina said softly, her voice filled with a mixture of awe and tenderness. “They’re everything we fought for.”

Y/N nodded, a smile touching her lips. “Yes, they are. And they’ll be our legacy, a reminder of everything we’ve overcome.”

Together, they watched their children play, their hands intertwined as they stood side by side. The garden was a place of peace and reflection, a haven where they could momentarily forget the struggles and focus on the life they had built together.

As the sun set, casting a golden glow over the garden, Y/N and Karina knew that their path had been fraught with trials, but it had led them to a place where they could finally find solace. Their love, once fierce and consuming, had matured into a steady, enduring force that would guide them through whatever lay ahead.

[ot3]

If you genuinely believe it is acceptable to join the us military because you're desperate or you don't know any better then you are prioritizing the right of an American citizen to be ignorant and self interested over non-americans right to live. Yeah I understand people have to make certain difficult choices if they're poor! But you have to draw a moral line about what you would or would not do to improve your own economic status at some point. The place I draw that line is at joining the united states military and if that's not where your line is drawn then you either don't know enough about what this country has done and should really look into it, or you're too racist for harm committed outside of this nations borders to impact your decision making.

Talking about how "vulnerable" the people who join the military are is something that can only hold any weight if your frame of reference for vulnerability begins and ends within the borders of the united states. Even the absolute least privileged US citizen reaps imperial benefits that are completely out of grasp of most people on the planet. Being ignorant of the crimes the us military has committed is the privilege of someone who has never been victimized by them. Being in a position where you have the option to economically benefit from participating in the military occupation of foreign countries, participating in any step of that apparatus at all, is arguably one of most the definitive and egregious manifestations of colonial privilege that the average american has access to.

Meanwhile, the people in many of these formerly colonized and/or currently occupied countries have had their economic opportunities gutted. The upward mobility you all seem to think justifies any amount of service to the empire is not even an option for them. Cobalt, coffee, rubber, chocolate, bananas, sweatshop, chemical plants, all of their labor and natural resources being siphoned off to boost our economy, funnel money into our military, which is then used to continue massacring them and collapsing their governments if they dare to try and improve domestic conditions. God forbid they own their own water and land! And God forbid they try to come here either because we all know how that works out!

I don't know how else to say it. I am begging you to consider these people as being as fully human as you are. If you wouldn't justify murdering your neighbor for college tuitionyou shouldn't justify joining the army for it either. The bare, bare, rock bottom minimum of allyship against colonialism is not joining the army and not justifying anyone else's decision to do so either. I'm not trying to moralize. I'm not trying to grandstand. This is a fully earnest plea to please consider the wellbeing of the people victimized by imperialism, not just the ones carrying it out, coerced or otherwise. There are plenty of moral gray areas in life but this is not one of them if you consider the lives of people in the global South to be valuable.

[amikoroyaiart]

You know what makes us different from battle droids? We make our own decisions. Our own choices. And we have to live with them too.'

[allaboutthemoonlight]

How to Master Motivation

Hi friends,

Today I want to talk about motivation and finding ways to maintain it in our daily lives. Motivation is a crucial factor that drives us to achieve our goals, overcome challenges, and stay committed to our development.

Understand the locus of control

Our locus of control, internal or external, is the degree to which we believe we have control over what happens to us in our lives. It influences how we respond to circumstances that impact us and how motivated we feel to take action.

An external locus of control is when we believe that our life and the outcomes we experience are a result of external forces beyond our power. We think everything that happens to us occurs because of chance or luck—two things we can’t control.

The key to staying motivated is to develop an internal locus of control. This is when we believe that we’re responsible for the things happening to us and understand that we have control over the outcome. It’s a level of self-determination where we realize our efforts, decisions, and habits create the life we live.

So, how do we adopt an internal locus of control?

The first point I want to emphasize is that, regardless of your perception of how much control you have over your life, the amount of work you put into something is always within your control. The first step is to abandon the mindset that everything is left up to chance and, because of this, you should stop trying. You need to understand that you always have some level of power over your circumstances, even if you’ve been told otherwise:

Be more aware of the choices you make and realize there is always a choice to be made.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or guidance from those around you.

Spend time self-reflecting and trying to understand yourself better. Reflect on previous instances where you’ve felt a lack of control and write down what could have been done instead.

Don’t be afraid to fail; it’s an opportunity to learn.

Know the different types of motivation

Next, I want to talk about the different types of motivation and how they impact you.

There are 4 different types of motivation, each with their own distinctions:

Intrinsic motivation: This is where you do something because it aligns with your values or just because it’s fun. Although it’s good to have intrinsic motivation, this type is fragile and can be undermined when we start feeling like we’re losing autonomy over our choices.

Extrinsic motivation: This is what most people think of when they imagine motivation. It’s when our motivation comes from outside of us—we’re doing something for a reward or to avoid a punishment. It’s the opposite type of motivation that you should seek if you want to be self-driven.

Introjected: This type of motivation can create resentment or tension. We do something because if we don’t, we’ll feel shameful or guilty. For example, you might go to the gym not because you enjoy it or care about the health benefits, but because you feel guilty if you don’t work out.

Identified: The reason you’re doing something is because it aligns with your idealized self. It’s something that you’ve internalized to be important and allows you to behave in accordance with your self-concept and identity. This is the most important type because it creates habitual behaviors are no longer choices. We understand our identity and that certain habits and behaviors need to be done so that we’re constantly aligned with our higher selves. For example, you might regularly volunteer at a local shelter or organization because you’re someone who values compassion and community service.

So, how can we implement identified motivation more into our lives?

Really try and understand the reasoning behind a goal you want to achieve. Ask yourself “why do you actually want this thing?”. This is also a good time to review your values and whether or not your goal aligns with them.

Constantly remind yourself about why the outcome matters to you because we often forget the reason that we started in the first place. —ex.

Like James Clear said, make your goal, system, habit, or whatever you’re wanting to accomplish more motivating or fun. Beyond that, start associating the reward with the challenge itself. If you’re training for a marathon, instead of seeing the finish line as the only reward, find or fulfillment in the training process and the discipline you developed along the way.

Adopt a positive mindset. Rather than complaining about having to workout in the morning or studying for an exam, start saying “I get to study for this exam and further my education” or “I’m blessed to have a body that works for me and allows me to exercise”. It’s all about perspective and embracing gratitude. If you put half the energy that you use from complaining into figuring out how to take the next step, you’ll accomplish a lot more.

Don’t neglect your emotional and mental health

Slumps are very real, and mental health can impact every aspect of motivation. Self-improvement and changing your life aren’t easy journeys by any means, and there will be times when stress and feelings of being overwhelmed can paralyze you. In these moments, it’s critical to take a break, a breather, or anything that can help reset your mental health. Remember to engage in activities that support your emotional needs. Not every second of the day needs to be spent doing something productive or working toward your goals. It’s okay to take breaks and have rest days; in fact, I think it’s crucial.

Reward yourself often, even for the smallest achievements. It’s not about what you completed, but the fact that you completed something at all. Spend time acknowledging your accomplishments.

Take it one step at a time and remember no action is too small. Starting small is what helps us build consistency in the long run.

Embrace positive self-talk. Avoid talking yourself into a negative spiral, as it will only make you lose motivation and put you in a slump.

Get an accountability partner. Having someone in your corner who will cheer for you and keep you accountable is a game changer.

Stay motivated, stay grateful, stay resilient.

Love,

Luna<3

[verstappen-cult]

ANGST TO FLUFF WITH LESTAPPEN PLSSSSS PLSSSS THANK YOUUU

It’s the first time since the breakup that you’ve decided to accept your friend’s invitation to go clubbing. You’ve been crying in bed and not leaving your house afraid that you’d bump into them for weeks now, but you can’t live like this. Monaco is a small country and you’re definitely gonna see them sooner or later, you just need to be strong and prepare for it. 

And you were definitely not prepared to see them tonight. 

You are dancing with your friends, carefree and feeling happy for the first time when you feel someone looking at you. When you turn around, you wished you hadn’t left your apartment today.

You try to make your way out of the club, pushing everyone that dares to stand between you and the door. You feel like passing out, you can’t breathe properly, and the exit just seems to get farther away. 

Only when the cold air of the night hits your face do you notice that you’re crying. 

“Are you okay?” You turn around so fast that you trip over your own feet. But Charles is right there to help you with a firm grip on your waist. 

You pull away as if you’ve been burned. 

“Leave me alone.” You wipe your face with anger, feeling stupid for crying over something you ended. 

“You’re clearly not okay, so we’re not leaving you.” Max interjects, taking a step closer to you. 

“Just, please.” You beg. A new set of tears leaving your tired eyes. “Why do you care?”

“Are you really asking us that?” Charles looks at you as if you’ve gone mad. 

“Don’t push us away.” It’s Max’s turn to beg. 

Being in this situation breaks your heart.

“I can’t. I already told you,” You hide behind your hands, not fighting the tears anymore. “Please don’t make me say it again.”

“We never complained about anything! You decided what you thought was best for us, you didn't give us a choice!” Max paces around, trying to regain some control over himself. 

Charles places a reassuring hand on Max’s shoulder. 

“We’re no longer together, just let it go.” You sob, hugging yourself. All you want is to hide in your apartment, not going out ever again sounds like the perfect idea. 

“We can’t, don’t you understand?” Charles is exasperated and the tone of his voice makes you flinch. He notices and his next words are just above a whisper. “We love you. You’re everything to us, we can’t let you go.”

“You made a decision without taking us into consideration,” You make eye contact with Max and your heart breaks a little more at seeing the tears staining his cheeks. “so, sorry if we can’t move on as fast as you want.”

“I don’t want you to move on.” You whisper, looking at your feet. 

“What was that?”

You look up at them, heart hammering inside your chest. For the first time since you broke up with them, you’re gonna be honest. “I just don’t want you to get hurt,” You confess in a sigh. “and that’s exactly what’s going to happen with us three being in a relationship.” 

“What are you talking about?” They say at the same time. 

“I saw the comments. What people were saying after we shared that picture,” You close your eyes, trying to forget about the awful comments you read on Twitter, the insults not only directed at you but at them too, especially at them. “People will talk, they will want to know all the juicy details. You’ll have problems at work!”

“And so what? I don’t care and I know Charles doesn’t care either,” Max groans, taking a step toward you. “You’re not protecting us by breaking up with us.”

“We’re miserable without you.”

That just makes you cry harder. 

And this time, when they shorten the distance to hold you while you cry, you don’t push them away. You let them hold you, making up for all those nights crying alone while missing them. 

“Everything will be so hard if we go public.” You cry against Max’s shoulder as Charles rubs your back. 

“Then we can keep our relationship private for as long as you want.” Max as a solution for everything. As always. 

“Just don’t do this to us,” Charles whispers, kissing the top of your head. “don’t do this to yourself.”

“I—I don’t… know.”

“You don’t need to make a decision right now,” You pull away, enough to look at them. Charles smiles sadly at you as Max wipes the tears from your face. “just let us hold you.”

“Okay.” 

That is enough. 

For now.

[tangents-within-tangents]

Hot take:

Crosshair does not have the Imperial disillusionment and redemption arc of The Bad Batch

Emerie does.

Crosshair has an arc for sure yes but it's not that.

I was thinking about this scene:

and how it got right what this scene kinda didn't:

(It was so close but then bad writing decided to undercut the moment with a joke rip)

And I think it's really interesting that these characters who were more or less raised into the Empire/First Order and chose to leave it are all directly asked why.

But take a look at Crosshair's answers in comparison:

Different context for the asking, yes, but still, compare that to clones like Howzer, Cody, Slip and Cade who left or turned against the Empire because they knew what the Empire is doing is wrong and they weren't just going to blindly follow orders:

Crosshair - Loyalty, Purpose, and Survival

Crosshair didn't choose to join the Empire (though the show isn't very clear or consistent about how much control the inhibitor chips have) but he did, for whatever reason, choose to stay. By the end of S1 we know his chip has been removed and as he definitively says "This is who I am." There were likely still other influences on his decision, but listen to how he talks about the Empire in the S1 finale:

Hunter: Crosshair, I've seen what the Empire is doing. Occupying planets and silencing anyone who stands against them. You know it's not right. Crosshair: You still don’t see the bigger picture, but you will. Hunter: Can't you see they're using you?

Crosshair: We’re not like the regs, we never have been. We’re superior. The Empire can’t protect the galaxy without strength, this is what we were made for. Think of all we could do, together!

Crosshair: You all are meant for more than drifting through the galaxy. It’s time to stop running. Join the Empire, and you will have purpose again.

Hunter: They destroyed an entire city! Crosshair: They did what needed to be done. Kamino, regs, the Republic, that time is over. The Empire will control the entire galaxy, and I am going to be a part of it. Hunter: Don't fool yourself. All you'll ever be to them is a number.

He undeniably knows what the Empire is doing, but he does not care. In fact it sure sounds like he actually supports it and finds self-meaning in it. Hunter spends those episodes trying to convince him it's wrong, he doesn't change his mind. In the end they offer him an out and he doesn't take it.

Wrecker: You coming with us? Crosshair: None of this changes anything. Hunter: You offered us a chance, Crosshair. This is yours. Crosshair: I made my decision.

The next we see Crosshair in "The Solitary Clone" (S2:E3) he follows orders and shoots the Desix governor, right after Cody heartbreakingly tries to do what's right and find a peaceful solution.

Cody: Tell me something, Crosshair. This new Empire, are we making the galaxy better? Crosshair: We’re soldiers, we do what needs to be done. Cody: You know what makes us different from battle droids? We make our own decisions, our own choices. And we have to live with them too.

After this (glorious!) conversation, Crosshair stays. Maybe this began to seed some doubts, but he actually smiles a few scenes later when Rampart assigns him another mission. It seems like for him it truly is as he said in S1:E1 (chip not enhanced yet but still influencing him enough for his brothers to notice he's acting strange):

Crosshair: Republic, Empire... what's the difference.

Crosshair: Orders are orders.

This unethical mission that finally pushed Cody over the edge does not change Crosshair's mind about the Empire, at least not enough for him to take action.

But what does?

Mayday: And here we are, the survivors. Combat troopers stuck babysitting cargo shipments. Crosshair: Mission’s a mission. Mayday: Yeah, I used to say the same thing.

Mayday: After all the clones have done, all we’ve sacrificed. We’re good soldiers, we followed orders. And for what?

This mission has nothing to do with how the fascist Empire treats the galaxy, it's about how they treat their soldiers. It's about how Mayday loyally fought and served his whole life and Lieutenant Nolan let him die

Lt Nolan: He served his purpose as a soldier of the Empire. Crosshair: You could have saved him! Lt Nolan: Perhaps you didn’t hear me, he is expendable, as are you.

Crosshair thought he could find purpose within the Empire, and Nolan shows him exactly what that will be.

His turning point is accompanied with this powerful visual of the ice vulture, a symbol (and threat) of death, and also set up within the episode a symbol of survival:

Mayday: Vicious creatures, but you have to admire ‘em. They find a way to survive.

This critical moment (that gives me chills, oof this episode is a masterpiece!) comes right after Nolan calls him expendable and directly threatens him:

Lt Nolan: And if you speak to me again with such disrespect I'll see to it you meet a similar fate, clone.

then Crosshair sees the vulture's shadow and turns to Mayday's dead body (ahh visual storytelling my beloved) then makes his decision:

Crosshair turns against the Empire not because he believes Hunter was right about this:

Hunter: I've seen what the Empire is doing ... You know it's not right.

but because he was right about this:

Hunter: All you'll ever be to them is a number.

Redemption (both in fiction and irl in my humble opinion) comes with making amends and reparations (which is why death 'redemptions' bother me so much but that's a rant for another time). Unlike Emerie, Crosshair never explicitly denounces the Empire or his own actions within it. He never says anything to specifically show if and how his views have changed from what he said on Kamino. He makes amends with his family (sending the warning message, helping Omega escape, making up with Hunter) but that's about it. The most we get in terms of acknowledgement is this:

Crosshair: I thought I knew what I was getting into with the Empire. I thought I was being a good soldier. Hunter: Nobody really understood what was happening back then. Crosshair: I’ve... done things. I’ve made mistakes. Hunter: I have regrets too, Crosshair. All we can do is keep trying to be better, and who knows there just might be hope for us yet.

Which is nice and all but it's more about them making up as brothers so it's way too excusing tbh ("no one knew what was happening back then" ummm? "The Empire will control the entire galaxy, and I am going to be a part of it" remember? And even if at first Crosshair was being controlled by the chip, the fact that he chose to stay after it was removed* means he condones and is therefore still accountable for those actions).

There's also a bit of self-destructive guilt:

Crosshair: Omega, don't risk anything for me. I belong in here.

Crosshair: Omega needs you both. So I’m doing this alone, it’s what I deserve. Hunter: Don’t even think about plan 99, Crosshair. Omega needs all of us.

(which thank you Hunter for pushing back on the death redemption bs and oh look is that a wrap up for the purpose thing?)

But there's no action taken on his part to make up for what he's done or to stand against the Empire (aside from the bare minimum of help with Tantiss, only after it became personally relevant, which like yeah he had trauma to deal with but still).

While I do think the implications/follow-up of Crosshair's turn should have been handled better in S3 (like rip Howzer! he deserved an apology, but that's a rant for another time), I don't necessarily** think this arc is a bad writing choice. It's just saying different things than we expect:

Maybe Crosshair's story is not about standing up against an unjust system, like we see with many other characters (who deserved more screen time but that's a rant for another timeeee). Maybe his story is about how even those who are loyal to the Empire, who actually believe in it, still suffer under and within it's rule. Not to garner sympathy, but to show that there is no winning.

Crosshair has another 'so what changed' convo in S3:E14 with Rampart, in which they draw parallels to each other:

Rampart: You used to believe good soldiers followed orders. Crosshair: Depends on who's giving them. The Empire betrayed us both. Rampart: And you think you can fight them? That's not you. You're like me, loyal to no one but yourself. Crosshair: I've changed.

(note how he says who's giving the orders, not what the orders are)

"Loyal to no one but yourself" describes Rampart much more than Crosshair, since we often saw Crosshair pride himself as a loyal soldier of the Empire whereas we saw Rampart abuse power to be self-serving within the Empire (like when he killed Wilco to save face). But they were both betrayed either way. Vice Admiral Rampart, snively Imperial opportunist through-and-through, shouts "I was following orders!" as he is arrested for the Empire's purposes. (Edit: and where Crosshair rejected the Empire and found new purpose fighting for his family, Rampart was still self-serving in the finale. He still tries to gain power for himself and he gets his comeuppance).

Even Hemlock, the final boss immoral Imperial scientist, who has to be benefiting the most from this system, echoes the expendability idea:

Hemlock: What I am working on is beyond your understanding. Something so vital to the Empire it makes me indispensable.

Then there's CX-2, also set up as a parallel/foil to Crosshair (fight me), who in the end is discarded as no more than a weapon, a tool that served it's purpose, showing us what would have become of Crosshair if he had stayed.

There is no winning in the Empire. Loyalty is not rewarded, it "doesn't go both ways." Everyone has to fight for their value. Even high ranking individuals** who for a time benefit from the injustice, in the end are just pawns to be used up and cast aside at a whim for the Emperor's gain. Even people who are motivated by self-interest alone cannot survive within this system, the only viable option in this galaxy is to fight the Empire and dismantle that system. (unless you conveniently find a magically safe island to hide away on but that's a rAnT fOr AnOtHeR tImE)

Which brings us back to...

Emerie - Cooperation, Compassion, and Choice

(Okay this post has already gotten away from me but I still want to talk about her to show the contrasts.)

Emerie may not have been given a lot of screen time to really flesh out her development, but there is a lot that is pretty clearly implied with her:

Crosshair: They’ll never turn her [Omega] over. Hemlock: They don’t have a choice. She is a clone, and therefore Imperial property. *Camera cuts to an angle more centered on Emerie’s face*

Crosshair: Give me your access card! Emerie: It won’t get you outside!

Emerie: I tried to warn him what would happen if he did not cooperate with the Doctor.

Emerie: Prisoner? Omega, you are no such thing. It will take time to adjust, but you will acclimate. It is far safer in here than out there.

Emerie: You should go back to your room. Crosshair: You mean her cell?

Emerie: Why children? Hemlock: Children are easier to attain and more agreeable to the subjugations. They are unaware of why they are here and what they possess.

Emerie: They're children. Like I was... Was your plan to discard them too? Nala Se: The Empire will keep them in order to control them.

We don't know a lot about Emerie's background, but it's clear that she had a lot less choice than Crosshair and less opportunity or ability to leave. Unlike Crosshair, we never directly hear Emerie's views of the Empire (and she was most likely 'taken under Hemlock's wing' before the Empire even came to power), but lets look at how she talks about the Tantiss:

"Remain calm. Cooperate and you might survive."

"Don't make this worse, Crosshair! There is no escape!"

"All of us serve a purpose here."

"The Doctor will inform me, if it's necessary."

"It's best not to ask questions."

"Escape is not possible, Omega. This is for your own good."

She honestly does the best she can within the system she is also trapped in. She tries to help Crosshair, Omega, and the vault kids in the only way she knows how (warns Crosshair about the hounds and security, tries to protect Omega from Hemlock, tells Scorch his "actions were extreme" with Jax, insists on overseeing Bayrn's retrieval, double checks his m-count (to give him an out), and tries to find out where he came from). When she gives Omega, and later Eva, the doll, I think it shows just how little she really is able to do here (and it's kinda heartbreaking imo).

The framing of this shot especially (after Jax's escape attempt) visually shows how Emerie herself is trapped/imprisoned:

Despite the fact that very little of this is Emerie's fault, she has very little power and she is doing all she can, the narrative does not excuse her role in the Empire:

Nala Se: What will you do, Emerie? Emerie: There is nothing I can do. I don't have that kind of power. Nala Se: Don't you?

Emerie: I- I was doing my job. Echo: Yeah, I’ve heard that before. You’re a clone. How can you be part of this?

These fighting-the-Bystander-Effect conversations parallel these exchanges:

Hunter: We made a choice, and so did you. Crosshair: Soldiers follow orders. Hunter: Blind allegiance makes you a pawn.

Crosshair: We’re soldiers, we do what needs to be done. Cody: You know what makes us different from battle droids? We make our own decisions, our own choices. And we have to live with them too.

which did not change Crosshair's mind. And honestly, all respect to Echo's disappointed mom glare™ but I think it's clear Emerie had already made her decision, she just needed help to actually be able to do anything about it. When she stopped Echo, with her voice wavering on the verge of tears (ahhh v good voice acting), she clearly had no intention of turning him in. She's on her own in the Empire's most secure facility with very little resources, if she had tried anything on her own she most likely would have failed and been killed

Omega: Emerie, you don't have to do this. Emerie: (sigh) I’m sorry, but I do.

but as soon as she is enabled by an ally, she immediately turns around to help: giving information and getting Echo through security, helping the kids escape, and giving Omega the tablet that allows them to free the other clone prisoners.

Where Crosshair's turn is accompanied by the symbolic imagery of the ice vulture, Emerie's is the removal of her (literally rose-tinted!) glasses:

Symbolizing how she has shed her previous views/indoctrination that altered her perception of the Empire and blinded her to it's wrongs. It's disillusionment.

Emerie's story shows us that even those who are raised and indoctrinated into this system can, should, and will escape (with needed help). Even those who did not choose to be apart of the Empire and are not making the decisions still have the responsibility and ability to act on what they know is right.

Emerie, whose name means 'Home strength' 'Brave' and 'Powerful', and "reflects the importance of leadership and authority in the workplace".***

While Emerie is only in one more scene after her turn, so the wrap up is a bit rushed, she still very simply does what Crosshair does not:

Emerie: Because I was wrong about this place. And I'm trying to do the right thing.

Echo: I’m sure Senator Chuchi would find what you have to say very helpful for our cause. Emerie: I have a lot to make up for. I’d like to help out however I can.

She admits wrong, takes accountability, commits to making amends, and leaves with Echo to go take on the Empire (which hopefully we will get to actually see more of some day).

So, in short, she's showing us how redemption is done right!

---

Notes:

*Whether this writing choice was good/logical/in-character or not is another discussion entirely, but I'm going off of what we were given, what the show is presenting in the canon text and (reasonably inferred/intentional) subtext. Crosshair is pretty multifaceted and I could only touch on so much here. There's a lot of ways to interpret his character/choices, but I tried to avoid the realm of speculation or fanon explanations (even if they sometimes make more sense lol).

**History and political theory are not my area of expertise at all, so I have NO idea how well this aligns with real-world fascism stuff and therefore what implications this storytelling choice could have. I think the message of like 'if you think you could survive or gain power by doing what the Empire/fascist system wants you are wrong' could be good (like how everyone is actually harmed by the patriarchy type of a thing), but I hesitate bc maybe there are those who would benefit, since it's a hierarchal system, right? If anyone more knowledgeable than me has incite to share, by all means

Either way, I do think it works in-story and in-universe though. It's just in the execution. The main problem (even from a strictly theme/character arc stand point) is the lacking follow-up/consequences for Crosshair in S3. Like you gave your character accountability by removing the chip and I think that's great setup for an arc but you gotta follow through with that and actually hold him accountable!

***I'm always curious when clones have 'normal' names, like why did they chose the name Emerie of all things? So I looked it up. Idk how reliable sources are for name meanings so take it with a grain of salt but it's still fun. Fits pretty well, and clones names have definitely had significant meanings in the past (like how Rex and Jesse both mean 'king') so I'm pretty sure it was intentional.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my tedtalk

[drdemonprince]

I know so many people who are certain the world is about to end. They’ve felt this way since about 2016 or so. They are neurotic and unempowered, refreshing their Twitter feeds and making posts begging others to stay worried and go vote. 

Some of them are leftists, and say they wish to see an end to capitalism, perhaps even to America — but when the possibility starts actually feeling real to them, they fear crime, and chaos, and their own helplessness. They joke uneasily that we live in “The Bad Place” but they are too afraid to get to the good one. They don’t want to see an end to their quiet street corner, their cozy condominium, their favorite television shows on streaming, their door with a lock. They admit this world is hell but they try to claim their own corner of it and keep it comfortable. 

I’ve been in the exact mental spot as these people, so I don’t mean to make myself sound superior. For the longest time, all I wanted to do was find a few comforting distractions to get me through the years before my death. I went to bed with my stomach in knots, certain that one day the power grid would go dark, the water would stop flowing, and the fascists would march in the streets and no one would stop them. 

Back then I didn’t fantasize that I would do anything to stop them. I picture things differently now. 

I used to think that voting and calling representatives were my only avenues for political participation, but now I see that with every choice I am not merely voting for a better world, I am creating it. When I fund a friend’s jaw surgery, when I look an unhoused person in the eyes and ask them how they are doing, when I slow my walking speed, when I share my knowledge, I am making decisions about how the future will be. I am not powerless. I am small, and vulnerable, but I always have something to give. 

I think that when we are feeling powerless and afraid of the collapse, it’s helpful to shift our attention toward practical, empowering questions like these:

If the government collapsed today, what would I do tomorrow?

The End of the World is a big, frightening abstraction. But if some terrible disaster (or glorious revolution) were to happen today, all I’d have to do tomorrow is make a few basic decisions. What would I eat? Where would I sleep? Who would I contact first? 

At the end of the world there are still dirty clothes and rumbling bellies. Those pressing physical needs are the most immediate questions we will need to answer, not larger philosophical quandaries about what life is “for,” or what the ideal new political system should be. For those more essential questions, there will always be answers: canned food to gather, lakes to wash off in, stories to be traded across candlelight. 

The future that we expect is just a fiction we tell ourselves, and it has never been guaranteed. And so, when some dramatic change comes, we can focus not on the loss of certainty, but on the practicalities: finding shelter, getting fed, and keeping the people around us as safe as we can. This is already what life is about — and we’re all more practiced in survival than we might think. 

If the world as I know it ended, what would still be important to me?

Hitting my weekly wordcount goals wouldn’t matter at all anymore, I know that much. But in the wake of a terrible collapse I would still value my friends, my immediate family, my chinchilla, and the people I see every day. I wouldn’t be so fixated on never seeming ‘awkward’ or ‘creepy’; the moment disaster happened, I would just get over myself and knock on my neighbors’ doors. 

If the world ended, I’d stop caring about my appearance, but I’d still long for a mode of self-expression like fashion currently provides. I wouldn’t think of my writing “career,” but I’d still want to be heard. I can imagine myself giving a small speech to my neighbors, trying to persuade them to take whatever course of action I thought best. I would be wrong often and not always persuasive, but I would still get to express myself and witness how that expression influences the world. I’d take care of more animals. I’d worry less about my apartment getting banged up and wrecked. 

It’s worthwhile to contemplate the people we will become after capitalism. The rhythms of our lives will change, as will our priorities. We may harbor fears about all that may be lost, but it’s worth asking whether our possessions and favorite TV shows and Twitch streamers are really all that important. I often find myself looking forward to the person I could become in this new reality. And those thoughts often motivate me to make small changes in who I am and what I prioritize right now.

The full essay also contemplates these questions about the apocalypse:

What would I feel unburdened from?

What important work would I keep doing?

What skills do I have that people will always need? 

What help would I ask for? 

You can read the full piece for free, or have it narrated to you in the Substack app, right here.

[sparklemaia]

Heyyy!!

So I've recently read a lot of your comics about top surgery, and I really resonate with your experience (I haven't had it myself but I'd like to). I've recently been exploring my own gender and realising I might be non binary, but I guess I feel sort of an imposter in that I want to keep my name and pronouns (afab), despite feeling like I never got the memo about what a "woman" is, which I know is fine, but I guess I was wondering how the shift from your agab into realising you were nb felt?

Like, you seem to describe your gender as sort of unknowable and indefinable, and I guess that's sort of how I feel? I just want to be... More me. I guess what I'm really asking is, how would you define/feel about that shift into realising you were nonbinary, do you still feel connected to your agab, how do you reconcile the two?

Sorry for the long ask!

Hi, this is such a good question! I actually DO still feel pretty connected to my agab. I feel like I am a girl but also more than a girl but also not enough of a girl, simultaneously. (Weirdly, I never ever feel like a woman, and definitely not a man, but I do feel like an adult at least some of the time.) Top surgery was 100% the right decision for me; my body feels so much more correct and I am grateful every single day this procedure was accessible to me. (I was on a low dose of T for a year and a half too, and I basically just got biceps and a sliiiightly lower voice out of it. We stan.) I simply don't have strong feelings about how these things do or do not map onto gender identity or other people's perceptions of my gender. I am generally perceived as female, and that's fine! Like, close enough! I often feel somewhere BETWEEN cis and trans, or even between cis and nonbinary, and sometimes I joke that I'm just "nonbinary for insurance purposes." I mostly use she/her pronouns, although won't object to they/them. I like my "feminine" name -- I chose it myself years ago for reasons unrelated to gender and I have no plans to change it again. In terms of gender presentation I'm usually somewhere in the "tomboy femme" zone. Basically, I've been through a medical transition but not a social transition. Which is not very common, or at least I haven't seen much representation of it! (Be the bad trans representation you want to see in the world, i guess??)

Even though the words are often used interchangeably, I feel more alliance to genderqueer as a label than nonbinary, because nonbinary feels too clinical and "third checkbox"y to me, whereas genderqueer feels more expansive and undefinable and dynamic, with space for the ways in which I both am and am not performing girlhood correctly. When pressed to pick a gender word for myself, that one feels the closest. But if I'm filling out a government form or whatever? Yeah sure F is fine.

A lot of where I land with this stuff, though, is just kind of relaxing my grip on language. Top surgery was a relief, it helped me feel present in and connected to my body. Ultimately it doesn't matter much to me how much of that was *gender* dysphoria and how much of it was just... something I wanted, a way to make my body feel more like mine, to align my mental image of myself with the thing I had to stuff into clothes and walk around the city every day. I believe very strongly in bodily autonomy, and in making our lives as easy and comfortable and joyful as we can for ourselves, without needing to have a clean and tidy explanation for our choices. It is very possible to know with reasonable certainty that you want something, that it will be a net positive for your life, without being able to articulate, even to yourself, WHY you want it. It doesn't need to have a bigger meaning than ahh yes, this feels right. At this point in my life, I'm more invested in marveling at the sheer improbability of my own existence than in wedging myself into the taxonomy of known and acceptable gender narratives. I'm just a person, here for the merest twinkle of a moment in cosmic history, making soup and knitting baby hats and admiring bugs and singing off-key and cutting my own hair and doing my gosh darn best to light my tiny patch of night sky with stories so that you (and you, and you) feel less alone on your own journey through the unfurling dark. Gender is just such an inconsequential detail in the narrative of my life, and pretty open to reader interpretation anyway.

Not having to wear bras is pretty great though ngl