#* lover double elimination

[feralnando]

Consolation Prize

Two consecutive Q1 eliminations has Fernando in a foul mood, good thing his lovers know exactly what he needs.

Pairings: Fernando Alonso x Fem!Reader x Mark Webber

Warnings: Smut, oral (F receiving), oral (M receiving), Masturbation, Fingering, Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex, DVP, Double cream pie.

Word Count: 1.8k

Note - Here is the DVP part as the result of this poll!

Apologies it took a decade to write, definitely a lot longer than a blurb though so hope it’s worth the wait! 🖤

“N-need to focus on Nando..” you gasp, trying to twist out of Mark’s reach to focus on the Spaniard lying next to you. Mark just smirks and uses his strength to flip you onto your back and pin you to the bed, thwarting your attempts to divert his attention to the man the two of you were supposed to be consoling. He grins up at you from where he has settled on his stomach between your thighs.

“You’re taking us both Princesa, you need to be prepped, no?” Fernando interjects, propping himself on his elbows to get a better view as Mark toys with the dampened lace of your underwear. “Plus, is nice to watch..”

Your breath hitches in your throat as Mark finally brings his mouth to your clothed pussy. The friction of his tongue dragging the fabric against your clit has you choking out a moan as your fingers grasp the bedsheet.

“Such pretty sounds you make, nena,” the Spaniard coos, moving further down the bed to bring a hand to your breast, the calloused skin contrasting the silky fabric of your bra. Another moan tumbles from your lips as he moves in to run his flattened tongue across your pebbled nipple - you can feel him smirking against you at the sound. “That’s my girl.. keep making those sounds for us, yes?” - with the current sensations coursing through your body, it’s not going to be difficult to maintain that request.

You’d given up trying to divert complete attention to Fernando but you’ll be damned if he’s not receiving some form of touch, especially as all of the focus is currently on you. Reaching out, you gently trail your fingers along his cock - already hard from the sight of Mark’s tongue lapping at you. The sudden contact pulls a divine little hiss through his gritted teeth and the sound alone has you squeezing Mark’s head between your thighs slightly. Grasping Fernando a little tighter in hopes of hearing that sound again.

However, Mark soon renders your hand useless, unable to focus on anything but the exquisite sensation of his stubble against your thigh, his tongue and teeth expertly working your clit and the two slender fingers curling up into you at an increasingly relentless pace.

“M-mouth,” you whine pathetically in Fernando’s direction. He tilts his head, tousled brown locks falling to the side and another sly smirk slowly forming.

“What was that nena?” He absolutely knows what you’re insinuating but wants to see you struggle to form the full request.

“Can’t use hand.. u-use -OH- my m-mouth,” Mark makes the attempt even harder when he sucks your clit between his teeth midway through your sentence and you’re relieved you didn’t still have hold of Fernando’s cock as your fingers claw into the satin sheets.

Mark pulls away from you with a smug smile, lips glistening with your arousal. The two men share a knowing look before he’s manhandling you onto your hands and knees on the bed in front of Fernando - his thick cock nudging against your kiss swollen lips.

“You want Nando to fuck your mouth, don’t you sweetheart?” Mark hums, admiring the way your ass is presented to him in the new position.

“Mhm,” is all you can manage in reply as Fernando reaches down to cup your cheek, the last tender action you’ll be experiencing this evening, you think.

Behind you, Mark spreads you wider, arms hooking under your thighs as he pulls you closer to his mouth. The sensation of his tongue gently pushing into you has your lips parting in a soft gasp - an opportunity Fernando takes to slide his cock into your mouth.

It startles you, but you welcome it. Relishing in the string of Spanish curses you are rewarded with as he hits the back of your throat.

Dazed and sated, you feel Fernando pulling you onto his lap, taking it as an opportunity to catch your breath as you let him manhandle you into position. It feels like hours have passed and you’ve lost track of how many orgasms you’ve been coaxed through.

“Can you pass the lube Mark?”

“I can do one better..” the older man grins, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. Grabbing it off the bedside table he flicks open the bottle with a pop and squeezes a generous amount into his palm before perching on the end of the bed.

Fernando’s hand snakes along your back as he pulls you in closer, chest to chest, lifting your ass enough to give Mark access to his throbbing cock. His head dropping back against the pillow as Mark’s hand starts to work him. You notice that the angle has granted you further access to his defined neck and you can’t resist biting and kissing at the skin.

“You two are killing me,” he pants, running his hand through his damp curls as he tries to ground himself.

“Want us to stop?” Mark smirks, squeezing more lube into his hand and paying particular attention to the sensitive tip, which has Fernando squeezing his eyes shut and a ragged little whine escaping him.

“You know I do not,” he huffs, bucking up into Mark’s touch.

Once he’s satisfied that Fernando is sufficiently lubed, Mark’s hands move up to your hips before sliding round to your pussy, trailing any remaining lube on his fingers in painfully slow circles against your aching clit. He hums at the sound the action pulls from you, his hands returning to your hips and easing you down onto Fernando’s waiting cock.

“That’s it sweetheart, take him deep, I want to see you take him all, got it?” The Australian knows the effect his words have on both lovers and is hellbent on showering you both with filthy praise and encouragement.

“Such a filthy little thing aren’t you? Bet you can’t wait to feel both of us filling that pretty little pussy,” he coos, tightening his grip on your curves as he bounces you on Fernando, pulling you a little further down each time as you press your forehead against the Spaniards.

You feel Mark shifting behind you, hands still guiding your movements. The sensation of his flattened tongue running along your pussy to where Fernando is buried inside you has both of you choking out moans as his tongue swirls at your connected bodies, following Fernando’s shaft as he exits and re enters you.

“Joder- T-think you can take Mark now, princesa?” Fernando hisses through gritted teeth, trying to hold back his orgasm as best as he can, wanting to cum inside of you alongside Mark.

You lost the ability to form words a while ago, frantic nodding and a sobbed ‘uhuh’ having to suffice.

The lube bottle pops open once more and you can hear Mark coating himself behind you. Your mind racing at the thought of having both of your lovers deep inside of you.

Gently easing two slick fingers inside first, Fernando whines as Mark brushes against him as he slowly thrusts them in and out of you, listening carefully to the ragged sounds coming from your mouth for any sign of discomfort.

“That’s my good girl, how about three fingers? Think you can do that?” Mark’s tone is a lot softer now. Eyes hooded with desire as his free hand rests on your hip, gently trailing comforting patterns against your skin as he carefully enters the third finger to minimal resistance.

Once you’re able to comfortably accept three fingers pumping into you alongside Fernando’s stilled cock, Mark withdraws and you feel his slick cockhead pressing against you. The initial burn takes the air out of your lungs and you fight to steady your breathing.

“Focus on me princesa,” Fernando murmurs, pressing a lingering kiss to your forehead as Mark eases in further. You let out a little sob as your head drops to Fernando’s shoulder, burying into his neck as the burning pain starts to dissipate.

“I know baby, I know. You’re doing so well,” Mark sighs, gripping your hips a little tighter as he watches your already filled pussy slowly accepting him in, a low groan leaving him as he feels the friction of Fernando’s shaft against his own.

“Feels so fucking good,”

“S-so full,” you whine, your breath hitching as Fernando’s hand trails between you, slowly circling your clit to take your mind off of the discomfort as Mark bottoms out.

“So good for us..” he turns to press another kiss to the top of your head as you start to adjust to both cocks stretching you. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, your mind blanking out as the pleasure slowly starts to overtake the pain.

The three of you remain still, just enjoying the overwhelming sensation of closeness and fullness as you pant into Fernando’s neck, tears rolling down your cheek.

If you weren’t feeling cockdrunk before, you certainly are now. You almost feel as if you’re in a daze, unable to think of anything other than the intimacy and taboo of the situation and just how good the stretch feels.

Mark’ stubble grazes against you as he peppers featherlight kisses to your shoulder blade, whispering praise against your skin. Lifting his gaze he catches sight of Fernando, admiring the way his hair is matted to his forehead with the thin sheen of sweat, head tilted back and hazel eyes closed in bliss.

“I’m going to try and move a little now, you think you can handle that?” While directed at you, Mark is half asking Fernando too, fully aware of the overstimulation he may be experiencing. He adjusts position ever so slightly and you take a sharp intake of breath as Fernando hisses.

“T-think so,” you whimper, trying to prop yourself up out of Fernando’s neck, gingerly arching yourself against Mark, testing the waters before he starts to rock into you.

“Y-yeah, m-more please,” you affirm, voice shaky as Fernando leans up to capture your lips in a desperate kiss, moaning into each other's mouths as Mark finds a manageable pace.

You can tell that Fernando’s orgasm is fast approaching, his hips faltering slightly as he bucks up into you in tandem with Mark. You can’t help but squeeze around them, the thought of them flooding you with their cum too sinful of a thought to ignore. The sudden tightness tipping Fernando over the edge.

“Carajo... te voy a llenar, princesa,” He groans out, his cum spilling deep inside of you. Hearing Fernando moan and curse in his mother tongue will never not be one of the hottest things to you, and that combined with the sensation of his cum filling you and him frantically circling your clit has you sobbing out your own release, clenching desperately around both lovers as Fernando’s cum starts to trickle out of your stuffed pussy.

The warmth of Fernando’s release and your tightness around them sends Mark hurtling towards his own orgasm, his fingers gripping tightly at your hips, no doubt bruising the skin as he yells out. Forehead pressed against your shoulder as he slumps forwards.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart. Did so good for us”

“Such a good girl cariño” Fernando agrees, looking beautifully fucked out as he stares up at you, eyes full of appreciation.

“If that was a consolation prize for a loss, what would a win get me?”

Tag list:

@darkwaterrose @ssa-tahlia-obsessions @sweetpeapoppy @aston14s @paris-roubaix @iamafootballfanmiasanmia @ofmoonsandlight

Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed from the tag list! 🖤

Special thanks to @percervall and @ruledbyproblematique for the advice and brain rotting for this.

[emilsgrippers]

Today, TDI Tumblr, I’ve come to rant about Alejandro and how YOU GUYS TREAT HIM.

This is Alejandro. (And his girlfriend Heather, say hi Heather)

Alejandro is 18, allowing him to just BARELY pass as a young adult. Despite him still being so young, he is often sexualized due to his looks and personality.

This is not cool.

Most of his fans who sexualize him in this way will alter his personality to further push the typical Spanish lover stereotype onto him (I’m aware this is what he’s based on), however, he’s more than that!

He’s very intelligent, and he’s good at mostly everything. He’s not just Spanish lover who takes his shirt off and dips you while holding a rose inbetween his teeth.

In Alejandro’s lore, he has two brothers, José and Carlos. Carlos is the oldest, José is the middle child, and Alejandro is the youngest.

Little is known about Carlos, but José is well known, and Alejandro rants about him on a few occasions. He explains how José pretty much bullied him his whole life, by punching him in the arm and calling him something he hates being called ‘Al’.

Since it went on for..his whole life, and even resumed when we see José in TD:AS, it’s easy to deduct that his parents do nothing to stop this.

Now, Alejandro was always kind of the lesser brother, if that makes sense. José was always better, always more, always just overshadowing him in a humiliating manner.

So, Alejandro was taught to use his looks to get what he wanted, since, with José around, it was really all he had going for him. (That’s another part of why he doesn’t eat any junk food).

Hence why he manipulated half off the TDWT cast and then revealed himself to have sinister intents to eliminate everyone else. Of course he only wanted to win, but, do you want to guess why he wanted to win so bad?

To prove he was better than José!! Wow!! Before his tie breaker with Cody, Alejandro , in the confessional, says something about José at home seeing him tie with someone like…Cody. Alejandro says José will already have his insults ready before face palming sadly.

that’s just a quick debrief ^_^

Now! Thats everything about him really. But here’s what the fandom reduced him too

“Daddy? Sorry Daddy?” “He could get it!!” “I could take him (not in a fight)”

I’ve seen all of these commented on Alejandro posts…yikezzz…

Now, does he look good? Yeah, he does! (But Blaineley is right there) But not to the “I need to sexualize him and drawn him in lewd poses, positions and outfits!” Kind of way. Remember, he’s just 18.

(“18= adult so!!—“ he’s just 18)

And mostly everyone else just gives him the “mi amor” treatment.

He calls her ‘mi amor’ ONCE. During the world tour finale, and that makes sense considering it’s between a heartfelt confession and a make out session. He never carries her bridal style while calling her mi amor. He does do countless loving things for her, like using the immunity idol to have her eliminated!

But carrying her in his arms and calling her mi amor never happened. It never happened with..ANYONE? He holds Heather bridal style for one challenge..where she was a bride.

He would NOT call you Mi amor, guys. Maybe carry you? But he’d call you by your name. Maybe a nickname? But not Mi amor. ‘If he did it once—‘ in between a heartfelt confession and a make out session does he ever just see her and go “hi mi amor… *wink..!” NO he doesn’t

Also!! He’s not a CREEP.

I see so many people say “he probably rewinded (whatever episode Heather accidentally lost her top in) so many times 🫣” no I don’t think he did..!

That’s a double whammy! Why sexualize one (practical) minor…when you could sexualize two?!!!

Plus it’s just gross..it’s disgusting what you’re implying by saying he rewinds it all the time.

In conclusion, I’m gatekeeping him and you need to bring me a legal document proving you’ll be aloud to use him in any bit of media from now on. Using his name is now prohibited unless what it says above comes into account. Thank you

[mythbringer-mayhem]

GODDAMNIT

man, I was just scrolling and now I'm a goddamn Raidioapple shipper what the FUCK

Ok ok-

And now I'm going to elaborate just because.

I was expecting someone out there to ship Lucifer and Alastor the second I heard Hell's Greatest Dad. I mean- two people singing/arguing over being father figures? Sounds gay to me /pos. The internet sure does love it's enemies to lovers (me included. I'm hopless lmao.)

BUT. I have specifics for this ship.

I hate it when people just look at Alastor's aromanticism/asexuallity and just go "nah. I'm just gonna do it anyways." I used to headcanon Alastor as complete aroace in the sense that he just can't feel that way for someone (this is not meant to sound like "oh he can't love anyone :( he's incapable" I mean specifically a romantic/sexual relationship.) Then fucking short ass king of hell arrives, and Alastor just IMMEDIATELY chooses violence.

I didn't think much of that besides "oh that's a little interesting," and then I stumbled across Radioapple and had to take a double take. My brain needed to figure out how that would work, like how it would start, flourish, ineract, yadda yadda-

.....so now I consider Alastor Demiromantic-

(I'm still goddamn writing jeez-)

Read on if you like random people looking wayyyyyy too much into fictional characters.

Headcanon timeeeeeeeee

When Lucifer and Alastor first meet, Alastor is surprised Lucifer doesn't know who he is. Up to this point, everyone knows about the terrifying radio demon, so it must be a little weird for someone to be completely ignorant to his existence. Especially when that person should probably know the ins and outs of what's going on- ....because he's the fucking king of hell.

This is something new for Alastor. It made him curious. When you're curious, you try to learn more right? So, Alastor starts pushing Lucifer's buttons, seeing how he reacts. On Lucifer's end, Alastor's just being a smug asshole. However his true intentions are information on the esteemed oh-so-powerful king of hell. Maybe Alastor doesn't quite know where this fascination comes from, but regardless he wants to learn more. I can picture him progressively bothering Lucifer more and more (this is his unique way of getting to know him semi-discreetly)

As well as figuring out what ticks him off, Alastor would also probably passively learn things Lucifer likes. For instance, he finds out what Lucifer's favorite alcoholic drink is or something- bare with me- Let’s say Lucifer has a rough day, and it's very clear to everyone in the hotel. While he's frustrated in his own room, he hears a knock at the door. Answering it, he finds his aforementioned favorite drink. At this point, he wouldn't know who left it. But after a while, he'd be able to figure out it's Alastor through process of elimination. (This is inspired by a comic I saw! :))

Now we've got Alastor trying to discreetly be kind to Lucifer, and Lucifer is aware without his knowledge. And Lucifer would call him out for it lmao. Slowly, they'd start acting friendlier towards each other. It would take a long, long time though. The slowest slow burn of them all. They'd hang out more, do things, kick angel ass, have friendly banter, do stuff with Charlie. Untill Alastor finally realizes that he might have a crush on Lucifer. Though, I feel he'd take a while to fully figure that out, do some soul searching, maybe go to Rosie for advice.

Then they'd confess. Or they wouldn't lol. I can totally see them going on what is essentially a date, even though they just consider it "hanging out". It would be a quiet relationship. Something you'd miss if you aren't looking for it, but it is there. They both just need someone they can rest with in my opinion.

These ideas are probably sporadic and nonsensical- but I ✨️don't care✨️ I just needed to rant about the old timey deer man and the short depressed apple gremlin.

[spextr1m]

The Irresistable Dreamboat (DMC's Dante)

Author's note: Originally, it was s'pposed to be called "I've won" but I changed it to "The Irresistable Dreamboat"

TW: Guns, claymore, Dante's OOC at this point, bloodshed, mentions of getting killed, blood

Color coding on characters:

Red means its Dante

White means its you

Blue means its Enzo

Green and red means its Lady

Xtra note: This reader is g/n (gender neutral) and this was like Enemies/or rivals to lovers with fluff and heavily implied lemon at bonus part (Also I didnt watch full episodes and it makes me look like a fake fan 😭)

Y/n = Your name

Y/c = Your codename

You are Lady's partner in the organization called Darkcom where they eliminate all demonkinds to prevent the apocalypse of the humankind however UNLIKE your experienced partner, you're the "inexperienced one to fight off" against demons except for your knowledge of demons.

You were sitting inside the meeting room with Lady while VP is discussing about relevnant things until there's a white haired guy on the screen.

Dante

What's so special about him? That's what you're wondering to yourself sometimes to Lady as well, as much as you wanted to hear info from your workers despite you're underestimated by your peers.

Unlike Lady who has her face shown, you wear a protection mask to conceal your identity and giving it out away to any people or demons as well.

You ended up butting heads with Dante, You're actually friendly towards him without Lady's presence but when Lady's around, you act hostile with him while he's super casual at it and he's one of few people after Lady (despite you didn't see her view) treat you as an equal.

Unfortunately, Lady's unavailable at this point. You on other hand gets called by your Boss and told ya that you'll be the one to capture Dante.

Maybe its a time for you to prove your worth to Darkcom operatives!

You told your workers while you're outside of the building to let them know that you're gonna in, you loaded the bullet in your gun and walking to the ground to get your feet up and you proceed to RUN! You run fast as much as you could to give your boots to fly along with you to keep up the tempo.

You prepare yourself for the window crashing land while the guys are busy to shoot Dante off until he looks at your direction, you look at him. All eyes on each other look each other's gazes which Dante widens his eyes while you look at him with unreadable expression due to the mask.

You performed a landing on the floor like rolling and running which he grins and throw a rifle at the random shooter while you're running best as you can, he throws random item one by one to stun them while you dodge the rogue items that he threw.

You ran fast and behind the guy's back which he threw an other item at the random guy lastly the other one too as well to prepare the double trouble! You slid down and swiftly grabbed your gun although you're hesitant to shoot him but gulp because your boss ordered you.

You shoot it revealing to be a grappling hook type which Dante dodged it however he got the scar from that and its on his neck.

"Welp, I didn't behead him-" Your thoughts said it in your head only you get interrupted by his voice.

"Hey! That was actually kinda close!" Dante places his hand on wounded scar inflicted by you, not realizing his necklace is snatched

"How far can you go.." You replied while holding your gun, which Dante looks down on the floor to the wall which reveals to be a pink sparking which also shows his necklace!

What the heck?!

Dante widens his eyes as he tried to catch his necklace but the grappling hook works its way, which you immediately grab the necklace however you feel remorse for doing so.

"What am I even doing..?" You muttered yourself while holding his necklace, Dante is gonna lunge at you but you opened the smoke bomb and dropped it on the floor, looking down on the floor.

You can hear Dante coughing

And you disappeared at his sight.

"Of course, the goon squad was a misdirect."

"Who was that? *growl suggestively* What a person!"

Of course, if you hear that. You'll get grossed out.

"I don't care who they are, seems that their partner is unavailable." As he reloads his gun and turns around to look at Enzo with a serious look on his face. "I made a promise" he walks away, preparing the showdown "And I'm going to keep it." He disappeared only Enzo mumurs in mocking manner.

"So, who here's looking for representation?" Enzo said, while some of the goons were standing up after beaten up only the guy with spiky shoulder passed out.

You hopped off and running while keeping his necklace, it is your last ditch to prove your worth as a Darkcom member! You continued to run as much as you can and you turned around to see if Dante is here behind you, you just turned back.

Until you hear a boots footsteps which you immediately turned around and see Dante is going after you, of course. He has a grin on his face while running, both of you are running well.. Not anymore, Dante pulled both of his guns out to prepare the fight.

"Hey Y/c!" He grins, aiming at you while you're running you cannot help but to brace yourself from it, which you cartwheel to kick Dante's hand to knock off the gun which it boosts your speed which he looks up and moving his arms although you pulled out a throwing knives from your holster. Which you throw it at Dante while he shoots at your knives as well.

Oh crap!

Your boost boot is busted by the bullet, but thats not ALL... Your mask got pierced but luckily it didn't hit your face, it starts to have crack like patterns..! Dante managed to crack your mask and destroyed one of your booster boot while shooting however he got injured cus of the knife you threw at.

While Dante is bit distracted until it exploded in his shoulder, which he clutches it with his hand which you landed down on the floor with the damaged booster. You immediately notice the mask is about to split into half..

"Ow! What's in this thing?" Dante winces and asked you while clutching.

"Erm" (How am I s'pposed to know?!) You tried to make yourself look tough, walking and grabbed your gun to point at him

Dante recovers with the bullet impact.

"A really, really awesome one?" Dante wonders

"I wonder.." You acted hostile towards him while pointing a gun at him, you said in ignorant yet dismissive tone

"That thing is an Anti Demon Round, I threw you with." You revealed the "thing" happens to a demon damage.

"Which means.. Even a person is good at hiding it, you're a demon!" You place your hand on his damaged T shirt which he looked down to eyeing on your hand which you..

Ripped it off from him

You widen your eyes which the mask crack worsens, splitting into half revealing half of your face and your thoughts filled with...

"WHOA HEY!"

You cannot help but a blush crept on your right side of your face and looked away, THE FRICKING ABS

Dante looked down on his exposed chest after you ripped it out which he quips.

"Ripped and irresistable dreamboat, I know. Still can't just tear a guy's clothes off"

He nows look at your face, are you blushing at him right now which he cannot help but to make another one

"Guess, you can say I'm one of those models?" He smirked at you causing you jolted and pull yourself together while trying to lighten up the tense situation.

"I..." You try to form a word, of course no wonder why some of your co workers know that you're least reliable among the Darkcom team.

"That would've possible since this stupid round just aimed at you and-" You muttered, speaking your thoughts out loud.

"So.. I'm facing a hybrid, right?" You raised your eyebrows, now looking at Dante.

"Half human like 50 percent while demon is also 50 percent charge of discount" You said till Dante pulled out a quip

"Wait. You think I'm part demon?"You cannot tell whether he's joking or serious.

"Yes no maybe maybe not???-" Of course, the pressure of wanting worth sinking in you only Dante whipped out his Rebellion to slice and dice your gun which you're speechless.

Which you immediately run away from Dante which he chases you, you're parkouring away from him. Sliding down after your hands landed on the pipe which Dante pulled out his Rebellion again to deflect the bullets which he hops on the wall and grab his gun to shoot you.

Until he shoots the pipe while you're sliding causing you widen your eyes out of surprised and losing balance causing you to shut your eyes knowing that you will die which Dante immediately dashes to catch you.

Smoke arrives!

Both of you look like you've beaten up already, although you on other hand is starting to feel tired. You immediately whipped your gun to shoot him, he noticed you're gonna collapse soon!

He lets you know that he's not gonna fight you but your desperation made you to pull out throwing knives at you one by one but he deflect that with his sword.

Your eyes started to blurred out the image while hesitantly to shoot him while he deflects the bullet with Rebellion sword, he walks while deflecting until you ran out of the bullets, you placed your hand on your stomach trying.

He nonchalantly walks straight to you with an uncharacteristic neutral look on his face. You tried to prove that you're not that less reliable until he pins you on the wall, wanting to help you.

Welp, he's right. You did collapsed on his shoulder causing him to look at you, the mask fell off revealing that you look beautiful than the mask itself.

He cannot help but to sit down gently while holding you in his arms, he places your head on his laps.

Few moments later...

Dante strokes your hair with his fingertips which you stir and slowly waking up from the gentle touch.

"Did I got him...?" You're bout to stand up but Dante told you

"Hey, don't or else you'll exhaust more" You widen your eyes when you hear a soft yet concerned in his voice which you look at his gaze.

Before you could apologize to him only he subtly tells you that you're doing a job even though it can be a pain for him to handle.

"Oh thank- MMPRF-" Before you can say anything only he planted his lips to kiss you which you return it.

"Okay, that caught me by surprise" You pointed out while he's grinning

"Oh and, one favor." He raises his eyebrows

"That is- oh- right, your necklace here" You bring out his necklace and give it to him

"Should we watch the view?" You asked him while laying on his laps

"Or you're staring at me because my-"

"Of course not-"

Both of you laugh together while watching the view..

Bonus

You enter inside the Darkcom with a mask, although these ppl treats the same treatment as you except few selected, Lady greeted you until you have a bite mark on your neck.

"Did you got bitten by the demon?" She asked out of concern towards you.

"Uh no-"

"Then what is it-"

"Well, keep curious" You said and walking away from her which she begins to blink.

Wait a minute..

Did you and Dante have a-

No way!

End.

[teamchasezwrites]

Mistaken Identity

Word Count: 5,461

Characters: Roman Reigns/Cody Rhodes, minor implied Cody Rhodes/Randy Orton

Genre: Smut

Tags: Accidental Texting, Phone Sex, Dirty Texts, Dirty Talk, FaceTime Hand Jobs, Anal Play, Anal Fingering, Daddy Kink, Slight Praise Kink, Open Ending

Summary: It’s the night before Elimination Chamber and Cody is still troubled by The Rock’s confrontation. Unable to sleep, he sends a dirty pic and message to Randy hoping he’ll send him off to sleep in orgasmic bliss. However Cody didn’t double check the recipient before pressing send. Roman is so close to Randy in his contacts…

Author’s Note: Tell me why this story came together like a snap?! The Sober follow up is postponed until I beat Damian some more so he’ll work with me. Until then, enjoy some Cody and Roman!

The world weighed heavily on Cody’s shoulders causing them to droop. Staring at himself in the bathroom mirror showed it wasn’t just in his shoulders. His lips were thinned and sagging at the corners. Bright blue eyes dull and lifeless elevated by the black bags sitting beneath each of them proving he hadn’t been sleeping. Lines creasing his forehead. Skin pale and ashen.

Chasing after the title, he knew he’d create some enemies. Step on some toes. He knew there would be some jealousy issues. He knew once he won the title there would be a target on his back. The guy at the top was never safe. Someone was always gunning for the gold. And when that person was defeated, another was standing next in line waiting.

Cody knew all this. Relished it even.

Didn’t relish in losing friends. It still hurt to see his friendship with Kevin crash and burn so badly he wasn’t sure there was ever a possibility of getting it back. Even his relationship with Sami wasn’t spared in the explosion. While they were still friends, their friendship was forever altered in the last few months.

He didn’t mind fighting his friends. He wanted to see them succeed just as much as he did. Whether he came out on top or his friends, he hoped they’d be able to shake hands afterwards. Have a beer, talk through their match. Celebrate. Laugh about it. Call their next shot. In the middle of it all though, remain friends.

That was probably a little naivety on his part. Jealousy makes a person do strange things.

As he saw with Kevin.

Never though, had Cody thought, in all his dreams, his next fight would be for something other than his title.

His soul.

What did that even mean?

‘My brother… I don’t want that… I want your soul.’

Even a week later Cody could still feel Rock’s fingers touching his chest to punctuate the words. Just a ghosting touch that felt like an anvil. Could still feel his hand cupping the side of his face almost like a lover. Those eyes shaded behind amber colored sunglasses hadn’t held a loving gaze.

No.

Those brown eyes were piercing. Calculating. Cold. Almost begging him to be defiant. To say no.

Which he was.

Saying no.

Right?

Of course! What did that even mean? ‘I want your soul.’ Was there a contract he had to sign? Terms and conditions he had to read? Once he signed it did he lose all emotions? Would he just feel empty inside?

What would happen if he reneged on the deal? It wasn’t like Rock was the devil.

Was he?

Maybe he should get his phone and pull up the maps to find the nearest Catholic Church. Did he really need to confess? He hadn’t actually sinned… yet.

‘Bless me Father for I am thinking about sinning… it’s been… a really long time since my last confessional. A man wants me to give up my soul…’

Darkness encompassed him as he closed his eyes. His brain had yet to stop thinking since Rock’s words a week ago. Sleep was practically nonexistent. The clock was ticking and he was no closer to an answer.

‘Just say no!’

The crowd chants from earlier during Smackdown echoed in his mind. Chanting over and over until he felt like he was in one of those after school specials he used to sit through during school. With the cheesy acting and the stereotypic leather jacket wearing motorcycle riding bad boy trying to sell drugs to the unsuspecting normal looking school crowd.

He could give it all up. The cheers from the crowd. The adoration from the kids. The straight laced suits. The American boy image. Give it all up for what the Rock promised. Even higher fame and adoration. Keeping the title firmly on his shoulder. Never having to worry about losing it to anyone. Not with Rock in his corner.

Then he’d be no better than Roman.

Then he’d be everything Kevin spent the last few months spewing.

His eyes opened revealing himself in the mirror. Still with the same tormented eyes.

Cody twisted the handle on the bathroom door as he slapped at the light switch with his hand. The room plunged into darkness and silence as the fan shut off. Only a soft glow came from the hotel room. The bedside lamp still lit from when he turned it on before going to the arena. The build up of heat rushed from the bathroom, smacking the artificial heat blowing from the unit beneath the window. Cranked higher than he usually liked but he hadn’t been able to get warm.

Did one lose the ability to be warm if they didn’t have a soul?

The suit he wore to the arena tonight was already hanging up. Ready to be sent to get dry cleaned when he returned home. The suit he’d be wearing tomorrow hanging next to it. His dress shoes sat on the floor below. His suitcase sat on the luggage rack; open and rifled through.

The queen bed loomed before him. The covers rumbled from last night’s attempt at sleeping. He’d given up sleeping somewhere around 4am. Only thing worth watching on TV was a marathon of Supernatural which didn’t help settle his mind at all.

He needed sleep. It was the only way he would be able to face Rock tomorrow. He needed to be one hundred percent so he could think quick on his feet at whatever Rock would throw at him. The other man was always quick witted. Seemingly three steps ahead. If Cody wasn’t ready, he’d be chewed up and spit out fast.

Time was ticking though. Less than 24 hours he’d be in the middle of the ring making the decision of a lifetime. He could do it. He made plenty of hard decisions before in his life. What was one more?

Cody dropped the white towel from around his waist. It fell to the floor in a crumbled heap. He left it laying there as he pulled the covers back and sat down. He swung his legs up, the sheets cool beneath his body as he laid down. They soon warmed with body heat he didn’t feel and he pulled the blankets up to his chest.

He stared at the TV at the foot of the bed. The screen black. His outline could be seen in the reflection and he was grateful it wasn’t as clear as the bathroom mirror. Foregoing the device he reached for his phone instead. Same evil, just a different avenue.

His social media was filled the different variations of the same drivel.

‘Don’t do it Cody! Don’t give up your soul!’

‘Don’t trust The Rock! He will turn on you!’

‘Yes! Do it Cody! Join forces with The Rock!’

‘Take the offer Cody!’

It led him to turning on the television anyway. Supernatural was still on and he placed the remote down and tried to be lulled to sleep but he was well into the second episode before his eyes stared at the ceiling in frustration as sleep eluded him.

He wished he still had the pain medication from his shoulder. Two of those would have him out in no time. They were flushed though, well before he was supposed to stop taking them. Last thing he wanted was to get hooked on pills and derail his path. He used to have a bottle of melatonin, but he used the last of it months ago and never refilled it. Didn’t see the need. He was sleeping just fine. A glass of bourbon might do the trick, but it wasn’t like his room came with a mini bar and he was not getting dressed to find an open liquor store.

Aside from just turning the TV off and laying in the darkness hoping his eyes would just give up, there was only one other thing he could think of. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to do that, but he was desperate.

Blowing out a breath, Cody let his hand trail down down his body. Ghosting touches over his chest and the ridges of his abs. Following the dusting of hair toward his flaccid cock. He ran his fingers along his shaft with the same light touches as he shifted in the bed, rocking his hips up.

With his other hand, he dipped beneath the covers and grazed his balls. The teasing touches caused his breath to hitch. With two fingers and his thumb wrapped around his cock, he gave a couple soft tugs working up and down. His eyes drifted close and he tried to blank his mind letting his hands work.

Up and down his hand worked. He squeezed gently in rhythm. His thumb would circle his thick mushroom head. A gentle tug on his balls once followed by the grazing finger tips bringing a shiver over his body. His cock filled in his hand and he rocked his hips up. His left hand left his balls to trail up his body, the skin warm with budding arousal. Bringing his hand free from the blanket, he circled his index finger around his nipple. The nub pebbling as he teased the dark tan disc. The soft skin hardening.

He licked the pad of his finger before bringing it back to his nipple. This time he ran the finger over the taunt peak. A soft groan came from his parted lips. His cock pulsed in his hand fully hard now.

Cody pushed the blankets off his body before re-gripping his cock. He worked in long slow strokes wanting to draw out his release. He needed something to wring him out. To come through feeling used and spent. So spun out he wouldn’t be able to lift a hand to clean himself off

A drop of come beaded on the tip of his cock. He swiped his thumb through it smearing it over his shaft. His other hand trailed over his chest. Once again the touch was light – barely there. It drew shivers and twitches; caused goosebumps to appear. His hand slid down to his thigh. His leg hair corse on his palm. He dipped the tips of his fingers to the inside of his thigh and spread his legs imagining teeth sinking down on the sensitive skin.

His breath grew heavy. He arched his head back, baring his neck. The tendon pulled tight. His hand moved back up his body. A fingernail scratching over his nipple. His breath hitched. He rolled his nipple between his thumb and index finger, pinching hard. Pleasure shot down his body to his cock.

“Fuck,” he moaned and moved his hand up to his neck. His pulse beat against his thumb and he pressed his hand down. His breath caught in his throat. He swallowed and felt the movement of his Adam’s apple against the palm of his hand. His cock strained in his hand, another bead of come on the tip. It dribbled down catching his hand and he massaged it in.

Cody released the pressure and gasped for breath. Then he raised his hand and ran a finger along his bottom lip, catching against the dryness. His tongue peeked out, swiping his lips and he sucked a finger his mouth. He moaned as he swirled his tongue around the digit imagining he was being fed a thick, heavy cock. His mouth watered at the thought. His cock pulsed and he could practically feel the weight of someone sitting on his chest. Holding their cock in hand as they brushed the tip over his parted lips.

‘Take me like a good cock slut.’

Cody moaned at the memory. The voice echoing inside his mind as he slipped his finger free and reached down his body. His finger probed and pressed against his puckered hole. He spread his legs wider and stretched for a better angle. The tip of his finger breeched his hole and greedily clenched around him. There was a slight sting of pain for lack of lube and preparation but he welcomed it.

‘Take my cock like a good little boy…’

He whined at the words. A memory from too long ago. He blinked his eyes open as his finger fell from his body. He reached for his phone in a desperate manner. The movements jerky and uncoordinated. His phone fell from the table and he cursed. Rolling over, he grabbed the charging cable and used it to lift his phone from the floor.

Once it was in his hand, he opened the camera and aimed it down his body to his hard cock. With his fingers wrapped on the underside and his thumb in view at the base, he snapped a photo.

He knew he shouldn’t send this. The relationship they had was unique. As in, they didn’t have one. No. Randy only fucked him on the road where is wife didn’t know about it. It wasn’t something they talked about during the day, continuing on as best friends like sometimes Randy’s come wasn’t leaking out of his ass. At night though, it was a dirty secret of Randy sneaking into his hotel room and pounding him into the mattress. His cock nearly splitting him open, pounding into him. His hips slapping against his ass before slamming home and filling him full of come. It was pulling him into a dark closet tucked away at whatever arena where Randy would push him to his knees. Then he’d pull his cock out and feed it to him. His hand digging into his hair when he’d eventually start face fucking him. Cody could do nothing but relax his throat and take it. Take the dirty, filthy words coming from Randy’s mouth as his balls slapped his chin. As spit dribbled down. His own cock hard and straining in his pants before he’d shove his hand down his wrestling tights. Randy loved making him come in his gear, especially when he couldn’t change.

‘Daddy I need you.’

The text message sent and he dropped the phone with a groan next to him on the bed. He knew it would cause Randy to punish him. He knew better than to send such a blatant message like that without assurances of Randy being alone. At this late hour, he wasn’t even certain he’d get a response. He needed something though. A hushed phone call with Randy’s gravely voice calling him a dirty boy and telling him to stuff his fingers in his ass.

He whined at the thought and gripped his cock. Maybe they could FaceTime. He would be able to see Randy’s cock; watch as Randy worked himself all while he rode his fingers pretending it was stuffed in his ass. Begging for Randy to fuck him.

The phone vibrated next to him and he quickly scrambled for it. Anticipation rolled through him. He turned his phone over and frowned seeing a message from Roman on his locked screen. No idea why the man would be texting him. They had no business together and haven’t since they tagged at Bad Blood. Especially since Roman wasn’t part of the Elimination Chamber tomorrow in an attempt to come after his title.

‘I don’t remember giving you permission…’

The text preview cut off and he frowned. Confusion clouded his eyes at Roman’s text. There was no recollection of any permission being needed. He almost ignored the text, right now he had his mind – and a hand – on other things. He wanted to come with Randy though. So he backed off the movements of his hand on his cock. His grip loosened to a teasing grip.

Blood drained from his face when he saw the text thread.

‘I don’t remember giving you permission to call me Daddy.’

Above that was his text. The text he sent to Randy.

“No no,” he whispered in a panic as he scrolled up. There, glaring like a beacon in the night was the photo he’d taken just a few moments ago. His hard cock gripped in his hand. “No no no,” he chanted sitting up, his cock forgotten as he stared at the photo he accidentally sent to Roman. How in the hell did he manage to basically proposition The Tribal Chief? “Fuck…” Embarrassment coursed through him. He could explain away the photo; laugh it off as mistakenly selecting Roman without thinking. Everyone has sent a text to the wrong person before. What he couldn’t explain away was the Daddy.

Roman was never going to let him live this down.

The phone fell from his hand. His elbows hit his knees as he hung his head. His cock bobbed; the hardness flagging as his arousal nosedived. If he wasn’t sleeping before, he sure wasn’t going to be able to sleep now. Now he had to worry about coming face to face with Roman upon his return.

Maybe he’ll just accept Rock’s offer. Man without a soul can’t feel humiliation and shame, can he?

Maybe he should find that church.

The phone vibrated against his leg and he stared at it. His anxiety rose thinking about all the possibilities on the other side of the text and thought about ignoring it. Doing so would bury him in a shroud of misery. He reached for the device slowly, as if it would harm him. Maybe it would. Depending on the text.

He should have just brought himself to completion thinking about Randy instead of wanting more. He was always wanting more and it was always biting him in the ass.

The phone lit up as he turned it over.

‘Only good boys get to call me Daddy.’

Cody’s cock bounced, interested in being a good boy. A blush bloomed over his chest. He reached for his cock, hissing as his fingers circled his length. Images penetrated his head but not of Randy this time. No it was Roman standing front and center.

Towering over him while he waited on his knees. Staring down at him with that intense gaze of his. The square cut jaw, the defined cheek bones adding to his commanding presence. Sheer power and arrogance exuding from him.

His hand had just started moving on his cock when his phone vibrated in his hand again. He stilled at the incessant vibration that indicated a phone call was coming through. He stared at the screen in horror and held his breath watching as it continued to ring with Roman’s name flashing. The ringing soon stopped and he blew out a breath but the relief was short lived as his phone rang again.

This time a text came through in the midst of the rings.

‘Answer it right now or I’ll show you what daddies do to little boys who misbehave.’

A spurt of come dribbled from Cody’s cock at the words and he squeezed the base. He tossed his head back and groaned biting his lip as a shiver ran through him. He breathed deeply – in and out- over and over until he was back from the ledge. His eyes blinked opened, the room bleary from how hard he had them squeezed shut. The phone lay silent in his hand. He missed Roman’s call.

Cody shivered again. Anticipation rolled through him at the line he was pushing. Would Roman try again? Think he was being bratty and needed a strong hand? Or would he chalk it up to an accident and he was too embarrassed and leave it alone.

His hand trembled as he picked up his phone. If Roman wanted to play…

‘I’ll be a good boy…’

The text sent before he could second guess himself. He watched as it immediately went from delivered to read.

The screen blipped from the white background of the text thread to dark as Roman called again. This time though, Cody noticed it wasn’t just a call. It was a FaceTime call. He gulped and tapped accept. He watched as his own face appeared on the screen a little off centered. The video clear enough with just the lamp and the TV offering light. The little black box in the corner however remained black.

“If you ever ignore my phone call again…”

Cody trembled at Roman’s voice. A low growl coming through the speaker. He grabbed his dick; hot and pulsing in his hand.

“I didn’t say you could touch yourself.”

Cody’s eyes snapped open. He didn’t even know he closed them. He eyed the phone and the annoying black rectangle. “Turn your camera on.”

Roman hummed, “I don’t think you deserve a reward.”

“Please…”

“Let me see your cock.”

Cody switch the camera view around with a tap of his thumb. He laid back on the bed and moved the phone until his cock was front and center. His cock was hard, jutting up from the apex of his thighs. Come beaded on the tip again and he ached to swipe his thumb through it but he held fast. Roman didn’t say he could touch.

“Baby boy definitely needed his Daddy…”

Cody’s cock bounced at the words and at the hitch in Roman’s breath. He wondered if Roman was touching himself. If he had his hand down his shorts teasing his cock to life or if lay in bed naked like him with his cock standing tall while his fingers worked himself.

“Please… can I…”

“Stroke your cock for me. I want to see you take yourself in your hand.” Roman’s voice vibrated through the phone and he closed his eyes as his hand wrapped around his cock. He moaned softly. “Let me hear you. Let me hear how good Daddy’s making you feel…”

Cody’s hand worked his hard length in sure, tight strokes. His fingers gliding on the underside, his thumb on the top side. He moaned as he back off, too close to coming. His thumb swirled over his head collecting the liquid pooled on the tip. He ran his thumb back down his pulsing heat before his fingers glazed his balls causing his breath to hitch. “Daddy…”

“Don’t come yet.” Roman’s voice was firm. “I haven’t given you permission.”

“Please Daddy,” Cody pleaded as he stroked his cock once more. “I need it.”

“No.” Roman’s voice led for no confusion. He whined at the tone. “You’ll come when I say you can come. Now… I wanna see you run your hand over your body. Touch yourself for Daddy. Just not your cock.”

Cody’s hand left his cock and he trailed his hands over his abs. They quivered under his touch. He moved up his chest to his nipples and moved his phone hoping to capture as his fingers danced around the hard pebble. He was spurred on by the low groan coming from the phone and the sound of bedsheets moving. His cock twitched thinking about Roman’s hand stroking his cock. He damned that black screen once again.

He pitched his nipple hard enough to draw out a moan. Then moved his fingers back over his chest and abs. Down his thigh, bypassing his hard length waving in the air. His legs parted for his fingers tracing over the inside of his thigh and his leg twitched.

As he cupped his balls, tugging gently a devious thought entered his mind. Roman said he couldn’t touch his cock. He didn’t say anything about his hole. He brought his hand back up his body, the touch still light but he didn’t stop to tease. His fingers entered his mouth and he sucked on them making sure the noise was loud and lewd as he swished the spit around in his mouth making sure to coat his fingers.

“What are you doing?” Roman deep voice wafted through the room. “Show me now!”

“Yes Daddy,” Cody smirked and moved his fingers back down his body in view of the camera. He once again by passed his cock and dipped below his balls. He cocked his leg opening himself up to his probing hand. He heard an intake of breath right before his index finger breached his hole. He clenched around the digit with a moan. “Fuck…”

The angle wasn’t right but it was the best he could do. Moving his leg again he was able to get to the first knuckle. There was a slight sting of pain and he bit his lip as his breaths came out heavy. Another curse fell from his mouth when he pulled his finger out only to sink back in.

An idea crossed his mind and he pulled his finger out with a soft moan. His hole fluttered, begging to be filled. He put the phone down on the bed as he moved.

“What are you doing? Little Boy…” Roman’s voice was low in warning.

“Just a minute…” Cody answered, slipping back into himself as he maneuvered himself on the bed. He quickly fixed the pillows so he could rest his phone against them in the upright position. Then he turned himself around on the bed so his head was toward the bottom. Up on his hands and knees, he ducked his head to look behind him. He watched the screen until he could see his ass filling it.

A long moan filled the room. “Oh Baby boy…” The words came out in a heady manner, laced with arousal. Roman’s voice got impossibly deeper. “Can you…”

He sure hoped so.

It took a little bit more maneuvering and even then, the position was tough. His knees were spread as wide as he could get them, to allow his ass to come lower. He sucked on his fingers again moaning as he tasted his heat from his earlier probing. Scrunching and bending his top half until his abs screamed he ducked his hand down and back.

He couldn’t watch himself on the screen, the angle too much. His fingers moved and tapped until he found his fluttering, greedy hole. He pressed a finger inside and his moan entwined with Roman’s.

“Oh Fuck….” Roman growled. “Like how you’re spread out for me Baby boy… working yourself open. Getting yourself ready for Daddy’s cock.”

Cody’s whine was high pitched. Sweat broke out on his forehead. His breath came out heavy. His abs screamed at him. His cock leaked, spreading his come onto the sheet below. He held his breath as he slipped his middle finger in along side his index. He was only able to go to the second knuckle. Barely. “I need you…”

“You need Daddy’s cock don’t you? Coming up behind you, spreading your cheeks. That beautiful pink hole just begging to be filled…”

“Oh God,” Cody gasped, his voice trembling with need. Between his fingers and Roman’s voice, he wouldn’t have to touch his cock. He was about to burst. “Daddy…”

“Roll back over. I want to watch you stroke your cock for me.”

Cody wasted no time. His finger fell from his ass and he groaned at the sensation. He grabbed the phone and flopped on his back, his cock already in his hand. His breath stuttered to a stop when his eyes landed on the phone.

The black rectangle was gone. In its place was a magnificent tan cock. Cody’s mouth watered as he could already feel the weight on it on its tongue. Feel the girth stretching his lips wide. Feel it splitting him open as it slid inside his pink hole.

“Good little boys get rewarded.”

Cody watched the screen, his eyes glued as Roman’s hand moved up and down his shaft. The angle providing a peek of the tribal tattoo that covered his entire right arm. He gave a gasping moan as he thought about how Roman’s tattoo would move and dance as his muscles rippled with the movements of his hand on his cock. That beautiful piece of art covering his arm and the right side of his chest. How it dipped over his shoulder and beneath his arm pit to meet and cover the right side of his expansive back. Edging his spine all the way down to just above the curve of his ass.

Cody worked his cock quickly. His hand working like a piston in a car engine. Up and done. Slapping against the base and back up. He gasped for breath. His body practically vibrating as tension coiled deep in his belly. A fine sheath of sweat covered his body and he felt a bead of sweat roll over his temple.

He thought of Roman’s back tattoo and how it ended right at his waist. His mouth watered as he imagined licking each of the lines over the hard skin until he got to the softer skin at his waist . He wondered if Roman would let him spread his cheeks and bury his face between them. Let him probe his hole with his tongue, exploring the deep essence of him. Let him lick around that tight ring of muscle. He moaned and he felt come dribble over his hand. He gave an open mouth whine and he rubbed his come on his hard length. His hand gliding better with the lube.

“Roman…” he moaned tossing his head back, unable to keep his eyes on the screen. He bit his lip and his hips rocked up into his hand. “Daddy please…”

“Fuck baby boy…” Roman’s voice wavered. The sound of his own hand moving on his cock echoed into Cody’s room joining with his.

“I need to come. Please let me come.”

“Good boy.”

Cody preened under the praised and he whimpered, struggling under the rising need. He was going to come soon and he didn’t want to disappoint but there was no stopping it. He opened his eyes and drew his bottom lip between his teeth as he eyed Roman’s cock. “I need your cock Daddy…”

“Where?”

“In my mouth. I wanna choke on it.” The moan over the phone was strangled. “Daddy… Roman… please… I can’t…” he was in tears, begging.

“Come for me Baby boy. Show Daddy…”

Cody’s release came with a loud moan and his hips jerked up and his back arched. Thick, hot creamy liquid shot out of his cock in ropes. It painted his chest in strips. His body convulsed through the orgasm. His breaths came out in gasps. More come shot from his cock hearing a ragged moan on the phone and he wrenched an eye open in time to see white come splashing against Roman’s stomach. He moaned and he wished he was there to run his tongue over his belly, licking up every bit of offering.

His body quivered in the after shocks and his phone slipped from his hand as his body went lax. His eyes grew heavy and he fought to keep them open. It was a losing battle.

Cody shot up from the bed. His breath coming out in gasps as he looked around the room. The television still droned on. A commercial currently on the screen. Light filtered in through a slit in the curtain. Still feint enough to not worry about over sleeping. He slowed his breath as he tried to remember.

His body was covered in goosebumps. The air in the room cool. He slept on top of the covers last night.

Last night…

His eyes widened as he looked down at his naked body seeing the dried come on his stomach. He swallowed roughly and reached for his phone laying on the bed.

The Lock Screen showed him missed notifications and informed him he was right about the time. Just passed seven. His alarm was set for eight.

The notifications showed him he had messages from Roman. His face flushed as memories assaulted him. The dick pic he sent. Calling him Daddy. Shoving fingers in his ass on camera. The sight of Roman’s own cock being worked on camera…

With slight trepidation, he swiped across Roman’s name to open the text thread.

‘You’re welcome.’

Cody could practically feel the smug asshole’s tone in the message.

‘You better tell Rock no. You belong to me.’

‘I’ll see you on Friday.’

Cody shivered with anticipation. His cock stirred with interest. Roman was coming back.

When he stepped from the shower a little later with a towel wrapped around his waist, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. The bags were still under his eyes but they weren’t as sharp. Passing out in an orgasm induced slumber was bound to have that effect. It was his eyes Cody noticed the most. Dulled and empty just last night were now sharp and bright; full of fight.

He smirked; his lips drawing in a thin line with the left side drawing up further.

Oh he was ready.

[midnight--sadness]

Soulmate au asker here!!! Just gonna call myself 🦆 anon since I'll probably appear on this blog often NOW WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME WITH THE SANGIHUN PART. I love Inhun, but Sangihun has always been special to me with how tragic it is. The color soulmate au is just so beautifully tragic for them I swear I love your soulmate au for Inhun, it's amazing Do you think In-ho would tell Gi-hun his real name when he reveals himself, or do you think Gi-hun will just never find out and they both die without their soulmate?

I'm not sure what kind of soulmate au I'd use for them, but I can see In-ho, once he finds out Gi-hun is his soulmate, he just becomes so obsessed with Gi-hun. Like, bro has been waiting for his soulmate his entire life, he is not about to lose him now, not even to death. That man is gonna keep Gi-hun by his side as his precious malewife whether Gi-hun likes it or not.

Idea where this starts in the first game and In-ho purposely kills off Sang-woo since he sees him as a threat. Second game parallel to this where In-ho gets jealous once more and kills off Jung-bae (Jung-bae my beloved, RIP)

~ 🦆 (apologies for the yap session, I just have so many ideas. Do you find if I make another ask yapping about a Heathers au?)

welcome to the mad house!! i hope u love it here!! 🫶😩🥹

i love love love childhood friends to lovers, so sangihun is like crack to me, and they're story ends in tragedy, which is like double crack.

so, i think bc of the "rules" of the au, which is that u have to say your soulmate's name, i don't think inho actually telling gihun his name would do anything since gihun's himself has to say it.

now, inho could tell gihun that he is his soulmate and i wonder if gihun would believe him? maybe he'd think inho is trying to manipulate him even more and decide that he can't trust inho to be hoenst with him.

then, i think they would both die without their soulmate, especially if it's canon compliant since i dont see inho living for much longer 🤧

possessive inho i love you! yes, he would be so obsessed with keeping gihun with him, he'd be like a man on a mission!! soulmates are meant to be together, everyone knows, so gihun has not choice in the matter....

ohhhhhh inho having sangwoo killed 🥴

as for which soulmate au, it'd have to be one where they can be apart when discovering they're soulmates, so maybe "your soulmate's first words to you are written on ur skin". after deoksu killes that man, gihun explodes and yells at the guards and then he turns to the camera and looks inho in the eyes, metaphorically lol, and says something i can't remember rn. inho could discover gihun is his soulmate then and he decides to eliminate his competition!

let me know what u think! 💖

also YES PLEASE SEND ME HEATHERS AU THOUGHTS!! i was listening to "meant to be yours" from the musical and could only think of inhun!!

ALSO ALSO - in the soulmate masterlist, there is an au where you have your soulmate's name on one wrist and your enemy's in the other, but don't know which is which. gihun having "hwang in-ho" and "oh young-il" on his wrists (or "hwang in-ho" and "the front man") 😌 and inho having "seong gi-hun" in both wrists 😯

[meirimerens]

meiri, when we are talking threefold bullet or three and a half fold, what is your take on the dynamic and relationship between stamatwins themselves? i am of the opinion that since they consider each other to be the same, singular person often in text, they basically are, but what is your take? are they the same? are they that different? do you think they're actually close or distant? and if we're talking close, what do you think of, like, interpretation of them as an androgyne, don't really know how it's spelled correctly in english, mythological creature cut in half for hubris which people basically take as "see, romantic soulmates"?

oh this is one of my fave subjects to write about or rather to incorporate in writings where i center on peter going his own loving ways this is gonna be fun

okay i'm responding to the androgyne part right out of the gate: the mythological (Platonician, and i'm guessing you mean the Platonician myth because it is the most well-known and the one in which beings were cut in half) androgyne is half male, half female. [i'm not talking about the historical use of androgyne for intersex people nor the modern sense of androgyne as a gender identity or presentation this is about the MYTHOLOGICAL BEING, FROM PLATO'S SYMPOSIUM]

that's the ethymology of andro/gyne used very literally in plato's symposium (ἀνδρός/andros = man, as in the sexed/gendered being as opposed to άνθρωπος anthropos which is man as in humanity [think "mankind", "caveman" when both of these terms Also Include Woman] and γυνή/gynê = woman) so right out of the gate they're eliminated from the mythological androgyne story by virtue of being both men. and i'd argue them being both men is important to their lore and how they handle of concept of Conception/Creation and how they talk about the Polyhedron specifically (calling it "a child" or "a daughter"). the platonician myth of the androgyne does have the androgynes (and to be fair, all the other "pairs" (male-male, female-female, female-multiple & male-multiple beings) equally) punished for hubris, cleaved in half, and desperatly trying to reunite with their half, but at the core of this myth very much is the etiology of romantic & sexual desire: Eros. quoting Plato’s Symposium translated by Benjamin Jowett :

"Each of us who were separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of a human being, and we are always looking for our other half. Men who are a section of that double nature which was once called Androgynous [Androgynes] are lovers of women; the women who are a section of the woman do not care for men, but have female attachments; lesbians are of this sort; peoples who were originally of two or more parts are of the sort we call ‘amphiphylóphilos’, ‘lovers of both’, and they are especially favored by Eros."

One of the thing that also happens with the Platonician Androgyne is that, before being cleaved in twain, they would reproduce asexually. upon being cleaved, when reunited, they starve to death and do nothing else from not wanting to do anything apart, so the gods rearrange their genitals around so they can reproduce as the people now do : the platonician myth of the Androgyne (and of the cleaving in twain) is about romantic and sexual desire, the drive for a romantic (soul)mate and reproduction. it is an etiological myth about sexual desire and sexual inclinations (why some women are not attracted (EROS! eros eros eros) to men, but to women: they once were one with another women; why some people are attracted to both men and women: because once a upon a time they were one with a man and a woman or more), as well as how we got to be a sexually reproductive species.

the term "soulmate" does apply to the twins, or rather, andrey tries his hardest for it to apply to them, but the platonician myth of the androgyne is Not about non-romantic soulmates.

tldr : platonician myth of the androgyne out of the equation because

1. it is about a being half male and half female, which the twins are not

2. or rather 1.5. it is thematically and narratively important that the twins are men for, to me, this greatly informs the way they act and speak about artistic Creation (goes for a lot of male artists irl tbh)

3. it is an etiological myth about sexed reproduction and the drive of romantic and sexual desire (EROS!!!!) which does not apply to the twins.

now for Da Other Part :

It's Complicated </3

in my mind andrey is the one most attached to them as a single being. quoting him from PCHD :

- Twins are the two sides of a single person. - I'm quite a quarreller—and I don't want to discredit my soulmate! [he means Peter]

and, interestingly enough, at the beginning, Peter is also quite keen on the "a single person" thing :

- You will make no mistake by calling me Peter. You can call me Andrey too, just for the sake of diversity, and it won't be wrong either.

BUT!!! and this is where i start salivating the evil gears of my mind start turning. on day 10, shit hath broken loose, and dankovsky comes seeking peter :

Dankovsky : Go help your brother. Do you know that he's been arrested? He's killed several people trying to help you. Peter : ...That's fine. I've been suffering for ten years because of him.

now this is soooo delicious je m'en lèche les babines. we can imagine that the "for ten years because of him" refers to the murder of Farkhad which, in PCHD, was Andrey's sole doing (as far as he retells it). it can also be about the Polyhedron's constructin : something they so covetted and so desired that in my mind a man was killed for this, something they so protect and are so protective of, but which has driven peter mad. in these ten years, peter as sunk to the bottom. by day 10, he's trying to self-immolate. he's developped and is sustaining a debilitation alcohol addiction, alcohol of andrey's making.

i think andrey grasping at this belief that they are one (including la fameuse "The furnace of this catastrophe has molded me, my brother, and you into a single person… The fire of war has molded us into a threefold bullet. It's natural. We are one. The three sides of a single process.") because he's guilty. trying to cope with the fact that he has ruined is brother with his liquor, with his murder, with his completion of the polyhedron which, according to all, simply should not exist. and yet it does. haunted twofold. andrey, by presenting himself as peter's other face, is trying 1) cope with the distance that's growing between them, by his fault and 2) trying to protect him. when shit hits the fan, he's running after peter, there are mixups, dankovsky gets taken for him. by being peter's other face, andrey is trying to protect him.

here's what i think it is :

it is less "two sides of the same coin" than it is "two sides of a same shield". also fits with andrey's "I am the battering ram that clears his path." (P2). a shield has two faces: the one that takes the blow of the blade and the one inside. andrey is the face that takes the blade and peter the one inside. or rather he wishes he was.

when i write peterstakh (you're on the peterstakh blog you are told about peterstakh), andrey lives very poorly the fact that his brother is "breaking away" from him. quoting my own self:

“It’s you.” “As much as me can be.” “It is you… right?” “As much as right can be.” Peter noticed the dimple between Rubin’s brows, this worried notch like a knife nick. “Don’t fret. I keep my doors locked.” He paused. “And Andrey wouldn’t want to touch you. Well, except to h—” “Except to hit me.” “He’s needlessly, mindlessly possessive. And a fool. He knows better than anyone else, even than myself, that you’re not fighting for the same honeycomb in me. He just doesn’t want me to get hurt.” “What are you, his? Won’t he let yourself be you?” “Less his than he at all. You already noticed.”

(Tenderopen Be Sir Carrion)

& my own self again :

« Does it surprise you [that I haven't slept with any of my models] ? » Piotr asks [...]. « Quite different from your brother in this way, then—forgive me for getting ahead of myself. I heard he was… generous in his affections. » [...] « He has… a way bigger heart than I do. Full of holes to let the light in… And people through. — Do people compare you two often ?  — Too often for my taste, not often enough for his — or vice-versa, depending on the day. » [...] « He thinks seducing others this much protects me, in a way. That he spares me the woes of love by attracting them to him.  — That's commendable… I suppose. — So do I. »

(Pierrot sur le Rivage, my own translation (it's in french originally lol))

TLDR : they're close. they're really close. to me even, because i love fun, they can do whatever the hell was happening with the Kains by the end of Bachelor's route : hopping back and forth between each other's bodies (<- this is a link to a lorepost i made), swapping consciousnesses. they believe they should have been born as one (conjoined), and where they imagine they once were stuck together in utero, the imaginary scar sometimes burn when they get too high or too drunk. they consider themselves halves of a whole, and it hurts.

it hurts because andrey hurt(s) peter, has been hurting him "for ten years". with the murder, with the alcohol, with the successful(?) construction of the polyhedron. andrey copes with his fault by insisting on his protective role, his front-shield face, his battering-ram head, because it helps ease the guilt of knowing it is his samogon, which he began distilling for selfish reasons, that is slowly making peter lose himself in the whirly depths of the bottle. showing themselves as "both sides of a whole" is a protective measure, yes, to blur where one ends and the other begin, so if they're hunted the hunters have twice as many men to pursue. it's also true.

peter is growing distant because he's in pain, he's sick, he's losing his mind, and gaining a love andrey has no control over.

to quote a fic i've been working on for years on and off

[Rubin] : "If you don't think his heart's big enough to contain the both of us in different chalbers, you can give him a piece of yours. I'll help cutting you up."

[wrestlingarsenal]

Here is my edited version of a Tag Team match from 1969 featuring Chris Colt and his boyfriend Ron Dupree as the "California Hell's Angels." This is, I believe, their only match available online -- you can view it on YouTube in its entirety. If you have any other footage of this great tag team, please post it or forward it to me. (I am kind of obsessed right now.)

This match has been floating around among wrestling lovers for decades. I actually blogged about it in detail back in March 2003 on my old Wrestling Arsenal website (see Part 1 and Part 2 of my recap article.) I admit, I didn't know they were boyfriends IRL when I wrote about this match, but I certainly noticed how sexy and arousing these bad-ass bikers were -- and now I enjoy it even more, knowing that they were in a relationship.

It's really good Tag Team action with the Hell's Angels performing all the classic Heel bullshit: distracting the ref, double teaming, choking, pulling the hair, pulling the trunks. It's a merciless beat-down, especially in my edited version which eliminates any Hope Spots for the babyfaces. The younger victim in the black trunks is especially fun to watch in outraged frustration as the Angels just bury and own him. The fact that the Hell's Angels are gay, potentially testing him out for a future threesome, adds a sexual vibe to the violence.

PLEASE go through those old VHS tapes gathering dust in your garage and find me more California Hells Angel's matches now -- before Chris Colt's epic performances are lost to history!

[nbofvoid]

Man, I'm Bad at Math

Written for the dreamnblade christmas event @alterdnbweek is holding this year.

Day 16 Prompts: Pirates AU; Enemies to Lovers

I did have another idea for today, but this is the one that was finished. Hope you enjoy!

**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**

No matter what level of skill you are at, if you're fighting in competitions, you know of the players. The powerhouses, the rising stars, the fools. The ones who are happy where they are, the ones who aren't. The ones who think they can't be topples, the ones who aren't confident enough in themselves. Even across the various types of tournaments, you can figure out who the players are.

Technoblade is a powerhouse with way too much confidence that no one will be able to knock him from the throne.

Dream stands in the front of the group of participants, jaw tense under his mask as he watches the arena screen shoulder to shoulder with Technoblade. It wouldn't be the first time they've been pitted against each other. The media loves their manufactured rivalry. Audiences always fill the entire arena. Vendors and businesses make bank in whatever the owners decide to market that time. Fans love analyzing their fights and comparing them to others.

Technoblade is just a fucking asshole.

He's always turning down interviews. Refuses to answer most of the questions when he does accept one and the ones he does are bare bones. Never shows up to the after parties the competitors have. Even when he's been specifically invited, he always turns it down for half-assed excuses. Hardly ever shows the proper sportsmanship at the end of a match. Never wears the gear or armor that's there to protect from injury. Thinks he can cancel commitments at random without a care in the world. The fucking rivalry the media started between them that makes no sense-

Dream stretches his hands, itching for his axe to have something to distract himself with.

He can deal with fighting head on. He's used to facing Technoblade and - unfortunately - does like the fact it pushes his limits in battle.

He hates that there's a chance Technoblade is going to be his partner for a team event.

Technoblade doesn't do team events. The closest he's come to one is the hunger games and that doesn't require working together for any part of it. This isn't like that. Whoever gets paired with him is going to have to deal with a self-centered dick who's just going to do his own things instead of figuring out a plan to get through the thing. If they're lucky, they'll be eliminated the first time Technoblade breaks the rules and not get that many penalties.

Crossing his arms, he stares up as the names finally start playing across the screen. It's going to be all of the participants first, then they'll start with the pairings. Dream would be surprised if he's in the first part. This doesn't strike him as one of the ones that's willing to play into truly random pairings.

Which is what happens. His name pops up fifteenth. The first one and he watches as the second spins, spins, spins-

Goes completely still as 'Technoblade' burns into the screen, the simple pig mask confirming it's not a mistake.

...He's going to be suspended by the end of this.

-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----

Technoblade is staring at the wall of swords, head tilted as he scrutinizes the host of regulation standard gear. Dream is thankful for his own mask that hides his growing annoyance. The piglin's been looking at them without moving since before he got here, as Dream was grabbing his preferred tools, as he got everything on, and double checked that his weapons meet the proper sharpness. It's ridiculous. None of these are going to be up to whatever standards he has. At least he wasn't expecting much of anything when it came to pre-game conversation.

Finally, Technoblade grabs a few of the items. A greatsword that looks much smaller in his hand, one of the longbows, and only a set of bracers and greaves.

Not the best idea to ignore the rest of the armor available, but Dream isn't going to go out of his way to give him advice. If he wants to deal with his torso and head being targeted the whole time, let him. It's not Dream's responsibility to explain why having the proper armor on is important when fighting with live weapons.

"What's your plan?" a rumbling voice startles him enough he almost falls to the ground.

Technoblade is staring at him, face blank as always, but there's no one else who could have spoken. "...What do you mean?" he cautiously asks.

The piglin's shoulders roll as he straightens, "I've never been allowed in one of these. You have, so what's your plan?"

Well, his plan was to try and find one of the few ways to get out of the competition that would have them place while avoiding the consequences of actively fighting with his teammate. If Technoblade is actually willing to listen to him, to his suggestions-

Dream pushes off the wall, swings his axe to knock into his back, "This is a new map, so everyone's going to be splitting their focus between finding where everything is hidden and picking off the competition. The others are either going to stick together for protection or split up to cover ground-"

-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----

They win the competition.

Technoblade did take risks and moves that had Dream pissed until the benefits reared their heads, but also listened to Dream's advice and suggestions. Hell, the worst thing that happened was that lack of communication about plans which somewhat worked out as their opponents couldn't figure out what they were doing. There wasn't ever a point he thought Technoblade would turn on him or abandon him as other teams tried to close in on them. Being pulled for injury wasn't even a concern after the first couple minutes for him.

Frankly, he even forgot that Technoblade wasn't wearing more armor than bracers and shin guards until they're back in the prep room and degearing.

He chews his lip, slowly working on getting his stuff off. It wasn't... horrible working with Technoblade and the bits of conversation they had off topic were nice. Maybe-

"Why didn't you wear more armor?" his mouth moves before he can think about it.

"Nothing they have fits," Technoblade responds promptly and without hesitation.

Dream blinks, "What?"

"All the gear they have," Technoblade gestures to the racks and racks of gear, "are made primarily for overworlders. I have to use the ones designed for the ender hybrids for arms and shins and nothing else fits. Same with the weapons."

He blinks again, looking closer at the gear around them and-

He's right. Dream knows what goes into making armor both for large things like this and for personal use. Most here are obviously too small in one way or another and the few that are debatable quickly prove to have something else obvious that disqualifies them. And that's just the armor. The weapons- Really the only ones he thinks Technoblade could even feasibly use are the ones he grabbed. Everything is made with a focus on competitors closer to Dream's height. Not the hulking almost 7 foot piglin.

"Oh," he mumbles. He feels... really stupid now. All of this is regulation. Every tournament, competition, and event would have the same set up. No wonder Technoblade never wore the gear. And- "...What did... you mean you've never been allowed?"

That same shoulder motion from before the tournament and a few times during, "I've asked and been told having me participate would be bad for business, scare off other competitors, get the arena closed, result in damages I have to pay for, I need the get the paperwork for being an actual citizen, I haven't paid off the prior debt- There's always something."

"Those are bullshit," he says. "Maybe not the scare competitors one, but the rest are bullshit. Who's your manager? They should have been fighting against that."

Technoblade looks at him, stares with a blank face, "'Who would work with a brute who could snap at any time to kill them' 'What makes you think you're worth keeping on when you'll die in a few years?' 'How could you provide what the consumers want when you're so terrifying?' 'Only a moron would accept a piglin as a client' 'You're too destructive and we can't have that liability'. I have more."

"They aren't allowed to discriminate-" His jaw clicks shut. He... He shouldn't have said anything. He should have just said something like that sucks or offered to talk to his own company to get him hired on. Not imply that Technoblade is lying.

"Eh, it's a known thing," he says, sitting on one of the other benches. It creaks under his weight as he continues, "Everyone native to the Nether knows you aren't going to get any kind of support in the Overworld. Refusal to hire you, holding larger percentages then they should of winnings, pushing past the boundaries clearly set up for interviews. Your friend - the blaze - he's lucky. Born on the overworld and has a nice face. They like that a lot more than one like me."

Dream nods slowly, biting his tongue to keep from saying something worse. He's already put his foot in his mouth enough today.

"I wouldn't be surprised if this is the only team event I get for a while," Technoblade sighs, standing back up and moving to the door. He looks back, "You know, the owner put in a bet down you'd be out in the first five minutes. Probably why they didn't advertise me being here."

He leaves, red cloak swaying behind him. Dream is left alone in their prep room to stew over what he's just learned and reeling from the bomb dropped at the very end.

-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----_____-----

Things are strange for him after that. He can't help constantly catching things that are clearly disadvantages in everything he does. The lack of weapon variety, armor and gear that would fit the nether hybrids he does know of, how the reporters on the interviews Technoblade agrees to are asking questions he's realizing Technoblade has to have put in the list to avoid. There's even been a few times he's overheard his own management mocking the fanbase Dream knows Technoblade has. It didn't even take much pushing for Sapnap to suddenly be facing things none of them thought would be allowed and the reports vanished not long after. Dream checked.

Technoblade's prediction about being stuck in one on ones also comes true. Dream is pulled into many team events, but there's not a single one that has him join. And he's been looking.

He's been keeping note of everything. Several notebooks filled with the things he's happened to hear, seen happen in front of him, and things he overlooked before because it didn't seem like a problem before. Notes about what he recalls from the few hesitant questions he's willing to ask when they're at the same event. There's several printouts of the petitions and arguments from Techno's fanbase as well as others to get him into more games beyond the one on ones. They're having some issues and Dream can't prove it, but he's positive that someone in the competition overview is causing all the issues. Hilariously, it's backfiring instead of helping keep things under wrap.

Before he can even think about what he might want to do with all the information he's gathered though, the news blows up with the fact Philza is suing the entire fucking organization for blatant discrimination against everything not human. Not just against those not native to the overworld, everything that's not human.

Dream looks up from his phone at Techno who's chuckling. He's staring at the same breaking news story, was the one who told Dream to open his phone as soon as they entered the changing rooms in fact.

"I didn't think Philza was interested in competitions," he mutters, looking back down at the list of allegations Philza was willing to publicly make against the organization. The fact that there's more-

"He's been working on this for years," Techno says. "Ever since I mentioned the lack of opportunity to shift out of the Nether competitions."

He looks up again and his body language must show his confusion as Techno explains, "We've been friends for I think fifteen years? Time conversion is weird."

"Huh." He glances between his phone and Techno, "Were you helping?"

"Yep. Gave him every single thing from the last eight years," Techno says, grinning with bared tusks. "I do think it might be best to avoid paparazzi and reporters for a bit."

Dream swipes out of the news article to his messages and, yeah. His friends are all spamming him to just sneak out of the arena and stay out of sight until they can get contact with the management company.

"Well, this is going to be fun," he sighs. Everyone knows generally where he lives. It's never been an issue before, but now he can imagine hoards of people showing up to get his statement about what's going on.

"...You can come to my home for a bit," Techno offers. "Let the immediate hype die at least."

The refusal is on the tip of his tongue. Everyone who's a known name in competitions tends to have their residence as public knowledge. But Techno doesn't. It's one of the questions that always gets him to leave as soon an interviewer even starts asking and the paparazzi have never been able to stalk him to it.

"Let me tell my friends, but I'd be okay with it."

Techno hums, walking along the far wall as Dream shoots a quick text to his friends then turns his phone off. Techno's staring at the blank wall when he looks up and waves for him to come over before he can even say anything. A hand reaches out, hoof pressing to the wall and Dream stares as the cobblestone twists, distorts into the purple of a Nether portal.

He's waved through and it's just like walking through one of the regulated portals. It doesn't spit him out into a random spot in the wilderness at least. If anything it looks like a rather empty room with the only adornments carvings in the walls.

Techno steps through after him and the portal collapses into itself. He doesn't act as though what he just did breaks the known rules of how the universe works and Dream thought he was done being smacked in the face with how little he knew about the world. At least this one is hopefully across the board?

"Don't wander off," Techno says as they exit into a huge maybe city? "I've been told the bastions can be confusing if you didn't grow up in them."

He nods, sticking close even as his head keeps turning every which way. He's never seen anything like this. The stone isn't familiar though it has clearly been worked into buildings that spiral above them. The heat is oppressive, though Techno doesn't seem bothered nor do the other piglins he can see walking around. Light comes from creeping plants he's never heard of before that stretch and cling to the stone everywhere.

"Shoes off," Techno says, opening a door with a strange motion and waving him inside.

There's sounds coming from further in. Screams and laughter and it sounds like whoever it's coming from is having fun. Dream works his boots off, wondering if they're neighbors given the stairs heading up and down and if Techno is always dealing with the noise. It's strange to think of him trying to ask someone to keep the volume down.

Techno leads the way up the stairs. About halfway, the noise pauses, then a different scream splits the air like claws on a chalkboard as a kid careens around a corner and launches headfirst down the stairs. Dream is frozen, heart pounding in his chest. Techno didn't move an inch and is now holding the kid by their scruff as they in turn cling to his arm. They look human. Pale skin, blond hair, and wearing clothes that Dream recognizes as styles from the Overworld. They're babbling in a language he doesn't recognize as they swing from Techno's arm perfectly happy to stay there and he wonders how many times this has happened.

A quieter set of steps drags his attention back to the upper landing.

There's a golem up there, shorter than Dream is used to seeing and he can't tell what material they are made from with the strange lighting. He waves slightly and the golem nods back, saying something in the same language the kid is rambling in.

It has the kid pausing, head snapping to him and- okay that is definitely not a human kid. Not when they have sharp teeth poking out of their mouth and glowing, too sharp eyes.

Their mouth opens, showing the teeth more as well as a split tongue, but are shaken by Techno who says something also in that language.

...Dream's feeling really bad about not knowing what any of them are saying.

"-Dream," Techno saying his name drags him back in time for: "this is Skeppy and Theseus."

"Hi!" the golem - Skeppy - says as the kid clings harder to Techno's arm, voice a high whine he still can't understand.

"Hi," he replies, glancing between the three of them.

Techno shakes his arm again, Theseus switching to crackling laughter as they're swung again, "How about we actually get upstairs instead of standing in the stairwell?"

Dream nods and unsticks himself from the wall - when did he...? - and follows him the rest of the way up. The kid is trying to scramble along Techno which is funny to watch as their scruff is still being held and severely restricting their movement.

The living room isn't bad. Rather nice though very different from what Dream is used to. There isn't a TV or any other electronics he can see beyond a tablet Theseus scrambles to grab hold of as soon as Techno lets him go. Most of the room is taken up with pillows spread across the floor and the walls have shelving filled with a lot of enchanted books.

The next few hours are interesting.

He's the clear outsider in the room even though they all do their own things to include him. Theseus - "TOMMY" they insist, glaring at him; Techno sighs but nods - is a LOT, a constant live wire of movement and activity that makes him exhausted just watching. Techno is clearly used to redirecting him. Easily redirects Tommy to different things so it never reaches overwhelming levels. Skeppy is a lot calmer and more willing to talk in overworld common then Tommy is, shifting the topics across various things from the sudden lawsuit drop from earlier to if he knows any good hot springs.

Eventually, though, Tommy passes out on a pile of the pillows, claws curled into another and Skeppy drifts off to a different room.

Dream's laying back on his own bunch of pillows, spread out as much as he feels appropriate to not overheat. Techno is slowly adjusting the pillows around Tommy, making it look more like a nest than a random pile. Without the active child running around or a constant stream of conversation, his head can't help the various questions about the situation. There's been no indication of another adult living here and it's very unlikely that Tommy is closely related to Techno or Skeppy. How long has Techno been taking care of him? Is it a temporary thing, or permanent?

"...You won't tell anyone about Theseus, right?" Techno asks, sitting.

He frowns, looking over at him confused, "No? It's not my place."

Techno nods, staring at Tommy who's completely still in sleep, "Theseus doesn't need the attention on him. It would cause too many issues."

"...Something I can help with?" he asks, slowly pushing up.

"No. It's a thing that will get better as he grows up. It's funny watching him right now, but that's more because he's a minor nuisance in the Nether. Anywhere else, he'd cause societal collapse in like a day."

"Huh." Dream thinks about the last few hours. How Tommy always seemed to know when to keep pressing on something that was getting too much. How he kept pushing boundaries Dream didn't even know he had. How Techno didn't seem nearly as bothered as he did the entire time. "...When do you want me to leave?"

Techno hums, "I'd recommend staying for a bit. I can let you know when Phil texts that things have died down, but if you want to head back before then, I can get you somewhere out of the way."

"I'll think about it."

This is pretty nice. He's pretty sure he'll be happy to wait for a bit for Philza to message that things have died down or shifted off of him before heading home.

**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~**

AU Notes:

dream's entire thing about thinking techno's an asshole at the start is from a misunderstanding. basically, they were going to face each other in a tournament one on one, it was the finals, and techno pulled out. as far as dream knows, there wasn't an explanation, but techno did actually tell the organizers that an emergency came up. they just didn't tell anyone and no, it wasn't to keep things private.

techno and skeppy are the only people involved with raising tommy. phil will watch him occasionally, but it's more babysitting when the other two need it. tommy adores techno and didn't like that dream was brought into their home.

Thanks for reading!

[real-total-drama-takes]

“Three queens stand before me,” Ru-Chef began, sizing the dolls up and down.

“Only two of you will move on to the finals, and one of you will bid your adieu and go out in a a burst of glory, in our giant Cum Cannon of Slay-me.”

Brown Sugar and S-kai eyed each other up and down. Brown Sugar, having acquired a Republican-woman tan the shade of burnt caramel, was dead set on getting that Olympic wannabe eliminated. In turn, S-kai, the non-binary short king who merged her deadname Sky with the name every non-binary short king who watched LEGO Ninjago as a kid chooses, also wanted that Alberta asshat eliminated. Shawn-tay, on the other hand, was just focused on not getting his wig snatched by the millions of wig-snatching zombies in the wild of Pahkitew Island.

“So who stays? And who goes?” Ru-Chef was turning up the heat. She got right up in the final three contestants’ faces.

“Brown Sugar, you were terrific in the Dolly Parton drag/moose rodeo double-challenge today, but you completely tripped on your stilettos during the 100m gogo-boots race! What happened, queen?”

S-kai smirked. Yes, Mama Ru! Read that flop to filth with the rest of her hog-tying hick cousins! she thought.

“And S-kai, my darling…”

The non-binary Olympic short king gulped.

“Musical legend Madonna originated the vogue walk. We wanted to see that passion in you during the reward challenge today. Instead, much like said legend herself in present day, I almost went into a mid-life crisis from that godawful posing! This is Ru-Chef’s Drag Race: Pahkitew Island, not a soup kitchen! Let’s straighten that neck up, and act like we’re in a photoshoot, m’kay?”

S-kai reddened, and Brown Sugar hooped and hollered at Ru-Chef’s insult.

Further back, Sis McSlay, co-host of the show, was fine-tuning the Cannon of Slay-me for maximum propulsion. Xe took a moment to rub the sweat off xis forehead from doing repairs to laugh at xis lover’s read. Ru-Chef didn’t just read people–she brought the whole damn LIBRARY.

Click. Clack. Click. Clack. Ru-Chef’s pink Louboutin heels carried the queen over to Shawn-tay, who hadn’t bathed all season.

“Shawn-tay,” said Ru-Chef nasally, as a clothespin pinched her nose from the zombie conspiracy theorist queen’s stench. “You didn’t do terribly in today’s challenges. Nor did you do particularly well. Just…middling. Mediocre. Milquetoast, if we want to keep this trend of “m” words meaning “bland” that perfectly describe you.”

S-kai and Brown Sugar’s eyes widened. Shawn-tay gulped.

“In fact, my dear,” Ru-Chef continued, “If I had a glass of lukewarm Pepsi, I’d offer it to you, because much like a glass of lukewarm Pepsi, you are both unimpressive and nobody’s first choice.”

Shawn-tay’s jaw fell to the floor of the makeshift stage set up on the island. She was thoroughly gagged.

____________________________________________

After Ru-Chef had gotten those bitches together, it was time for the elimination nomination.

“S-kai,” Ru-Chef said, her pink dress shimmering in the summer sun. “You are a phoenix. Bright and awe-inspiring when in action, but pathetic and ashy otherwise. You are an Olympian in training, and you haven’t won a single challenge on your own all season! You’ve got so much potential, crazy abs, a killer bod, insane upper-body strength, sexy flexibility, and a calm head that would soothe any acid-attack victim’s chemical burns! But is athleticism and levelheadedness all that can carry you to the crown?”

S-kai braced xishelf.

“I’m sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.”

S-kai’s heart sank. Xer blue chiffon ball gown seemed to shrink and pucker with every condemnation from Ru-Chef, and with this final blow, with this heart-halting threat of elimination looming over her, it finally gave away. S-kai sank to xer knees and wept.

Unfazed, Ru-Chef turned to the next contestant.

“Brown Sugar. Your performance in today’s challenge was…shall we say…Sugar Honey Iced Tea.”

Brown Sugar’s wig was snatched. Her bedazzled blue-denim bell bottom jeans swished pathetically in the wind.

“Let’s just say, if I wanted a performance that tried way too hard to be modern but ended up being a downright offensive yet horny hick fest, I would’ve just created an AI deep fake of an uncomfortably sweaty sex tape between Lil Nas X and Billy Rae Cyrus to the tune of “Old Town Road.”

S-kai stifled a giggle. Brown Sugar’s eyes went as wide as the sticks of fried butter she ate for lunch.

“I’m sorry, my dear, but you are up for elimination.”

Brown Sugar started boohooing instantly, her blonde locks billowing in the breeze.

“And Shawn-tay….Con-drag-ulations, you are the winner of this challenge! You stink like Selena Gomez’s acting, Jennifer Lopez’s singing, and Sofia Vergara’s English accent, but you’ve got that it factor, despite an initially lackluster performance. You’ve got a ticket to the finale, my darling. Sashay to backstage, and spectate these two queens battling it out if you dare.”

Fixing her ratty orange beanie, Shawn-tay ran to the back of the stage, endlessly relieved that she wasn’t being eliminated that round and that no zombies had snatched her wig to get her brains!

____________________________________________

“Queens,” Ru-Chef said, after the commercial break. “It is time…to lip-sync…FOR. YOUR. LIFE.”

S-kai and Brown Sugar hated each other all season. Brown Sugar’s loud hillbilly antics and cruel, manipulative tactics like bullying their teammate Sn-hoe White out of the competition and breaking up S-kai and Dirty Dave’s showmance rubbed S-kai the wrong way. Similarly, Brown Sugar was repulsed by S-kai’s good sportsmanship, sense of fairness, and potential alliance with Dirty Dave. They couldn’t be more different. But the two shared one thing in common at that moment, judging from their shaking knees, as jiggly as Season 1 Drag Race winner Ho-wen’s belly: they were scared shitless.

“Good luck, and don’t fuck it up.”

Having uttered this warning, Ru-Chef pressed Play on the hot-pink Disney Princess Karaoke Machine. On either side of him, co-judge Sis McSlay and celebrity judge, current Prime Minister of Canada, Cunt-ney, were staring at the queens coolly.

A remix of Disney Princess “I Want” songs began playing, starting with Snow White’s “I’m Wishing” melody that she sang into the wishing well, still in her peasant clothes. But unlike a peasant, S-kai and Brown Sugar were in full force, grooving around the stage, lip-syncing as best as they could to this childhood medley.

The remix switched over to Cinderella’s “A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes”. Channeling her inner Gus, Brown Sugar tumbled and scurried around the stage, posing perfectly under the spotlight. Ru-Chef looked impressed.

Quickly, the lyrics morphed into Sleeping Beauty’s “Once Upon A Dream”. Channeling xer inner Aurora, S-kai fluttered around the stage, dancing with a deer and gaggle of birds that had wandered in from the forest. Prime Minister Cunt-ney seemed amazed.

It was when the music shifted gears into Ariel’s “Part of Your World” that a lightbulb went off in S-kai’s pixie-cut-adorned head.

The medley is going chronologically, by order of the Disney Princess movies! she deduced.

Hmm, right now is 1989’s The Little Mermaid. What’s next…was it Beauty and the Beast? No, Aladdin!

Distracted by her mental calculations, S-kai didn’t see that she was twirling right next to the front of the stage. Brown Sugar slyly stuck her foot out in front of her competitor. S-kai tripped.

Tipping over the edge of the stage from the momentum of her twirling, the queen gasped. At that moment, the Disney Princess animals from the forest dashed to her rescue. A gaggle of bluebirds grabbed onto her ballgown. A nest of robins held onto her velvet cape. Using their paws and hooves, a deer and a rabbit steadied S-kai’s high heels, which were teeter-tottering from the impact.

Once again, fully upright on stage, S-kai flashed her brightest smile and continued twirling. Sis McSlay narrowed his eyes, but looked satisfied by her recovery.

Shooting a glare at Brown Sugar, S-kai focused on what lyrics would be next. Correctly predicting that Ariel’s signature song would shift into Jasmine’s “A Whole New World,” S-kai used xer cape as an imaginary magic carpet, and, combined with xer acrobatic skills, pretending to glide around the stage in it. All three judges exchanged looks of wonder.

Fuming, Brown Sugar planned to crush that gymnast out of the competition once and for all. In the meantime, though, she’d bide her time and pretend-lasso S-kai out of the way, as the medley changed into Belle’s reprise.

Ironic that Brown Sugar, who thought that books were just government conspiracies to “kill trees and stuff them between boring covers,” would dominate in this portion of the lip-sync, but that’s exactly what happened. Dizzy from all her spinning and flipping, S-kai moved around the stage in a daze. Taking the opportunity to hip-check xer out of the way, Brown Sugar shoulder-shimmied her way into the judges’ hearts.

The sun beat overhead as fiercely as the two lip-syncing queens’ competitive spirit. Neither was backing down, and Shawn-tay watched from backstage in amazement. Maybe life wasn’t all about zombie apocalyptic survival, she thought, inspired by their desire to snatch the crown.

There wasn’t much choreography during S-kai and Brown Sugar’s lip-syncing renditions of Mulan’s “Reflection”, but the emotion in their faces, no doubt spurred on by their hunger to stay in the competition, brought Prime Minister Cunt-ney to hysterics. Even though queen never cry, she couldn’t help but dab at her watery eyes with her mindful and demure platinum-plated handkerchief. Ru-Chef and Sis McSlay held each other for comfort as they sobbed.

Princess Tiana’s “Down in New Orleans” was the segment which made S-kai and Brown Sugar vie for the spotlight the most. Hips swayed, toe-taps cascaded, fingers wagged, and legs sashayed through this jazzy tune. Brown Sugar “accidentally” bumped S-kai into a stage prop, which came crashing down on the queen. With xer out of the way, Brown Sugar pirouetted to her heart’s content, letting out years of Little Miss Hillbilly pageant experience. The judges oohed and aahed.

Crawling out of the rubble from the stage-prop sabotage, S-kai’s ears steamed. Xe wanted to run out there and drop-kick Brown Sugar off the stage and onto the judge’s table to expose that fraud who wore…Sh…Shake….

S-kai shuddered. Even xe couldn’t speak that godawful piece of cheap hair technology into existence. Much like Lord Voldemort, Shake-N-Go wigs were an evil best left unspoken, lest it secretly grow power whenever it was uttered. All of Canada knew that only the trashiest queens wore them, and a secret like this that S-kai had caught wind to would destroy Brown Sugar’s drag career, and on national television at that. But….

No. S-kai wasn’t that low. As angry as xe was, xe wouldn’t stoop to Brown Sugar’s level just to win a lip-sync. Instead, S-kai would win with xer killer physique and discipline. “Fly like a butterfly, sting like a queen”, her intense drag trainer Mr. Mi-yas-gi had taught her. That, and “Wax on, wax off” (when it came to styling eyebrows).

Picking xerself up and dusting xerself off, S-kai was just in time as the remix moved into Rapunzel’s “When Will My Life Begin”. Despite xer obligatory short haircut like all non-binary short kings with some variation of the name Kai, S-kai wasn’t deterred from using xer flowing ballgown to cosplay as Rapunzel’s magical locks. Swirling them around and combining hairography with classical ballet, S-kai zig-zagged around the stage, trapping Brown Sugar in a whirlwind of chiffon and pixie-cut dandruff. The judges were surprised at S-kai’s recovery, having been almost ready to disqualify xer for xer absence for most of the previous lip-sync segment.

S-kai’s dancing whirlwind spun faster and faster, as Brown Sugar, feebly shaking her blonde curls, became disoriented. Making a mad dash out of her opponent’s ballet-based natural disaster, Brown Sugar’s head was clocked by a stray wind from S-kai’s choreography of fury. Flying off the stage, Brown Sugar smashed into the judges’ table and sent an intern running away in fear.

Having knocked her rival off stage, S-kai took center stage, the spotlight on xer, as the final song of the remix, Moana’s “How Far I’ll Go”, began playing. Despite Moana’s Polynesian roots, as a First Nations (indigenous Canadian) queen, S-kai resonated with Moana’s indigenous heritage.

By the time S-kai’s lips, perfectly aligned with Moana’s voice, mouthed the final “how far I’ll go,” all three judges were brought to tears. Even Brown Sugar, as much as she hated S-kai, had to admit that xe sounded pretty good. Shawn-tay sobbed tears of awe.

____________________________________________

The stage lights went dim. Just the natural sunlight, the summer breeze, the chirping birds nearby, and the applauding judges were the only sounds left.

Having defeatedly risen back onto the stage, Brown Sugar faced her judgment. She stared daggers at S-kai, who stared daggers right back. The two were having a mental diva-off, a stare down of the gods, and only one would walk away. That is, until–

“We’ve made our decision,” Ru-Chef called.

“S-kai,” Prime Minister Cunt-ney began.

A pit of nervousness rose in the Olympic queen’s stomach.

“Shantay, you stay,” Ru-Chef proudly finished.

Xer mouth agape, S-kai took in Ru-Chef’s words. Xe was in the finale. Xe was IN the finale.

Beaming, she ran over to hug Shawn-tay before halting inches away. Shawn-tay did still smell like raccoon ass and her outfit did still look like she had gotten mauled by attack dogs and fire hoses at a civil rights protest (seriously, what was Mama Ru thinking giving her invincibility??), but….who the hell cared! The two queens embraced, congratulating each other. Discreetly, S-kai sprayed some Chanel No. 5 perfume on Shawn-tay as they hugged.

“Brown Sugar. Your performance in this lip sync matches your tan exactly: skanky and reeking of bad judgment. If the sabotage wasn’t enough, the hair was my last goddamn straw, honey…a Shake-N-Go wig? How dare you.”

Having had her secret exposed for the entire viewing audience of Ontario, British Columbia, Nova Scotia, and Quebec, Brown Sugar stood frozen in her tracks, a white-hot fury and mortification petrifying her. She could kiss her brand deals with Juggy Chunks and Darwin’s Food Safari goodbye.

“Brown Sugar,” Ru-Chef looked upon her like gum on the bottom of her stiletto. “Sashay away.”

____________________________________________

Not even giving her enough time for a farewell, Ru-Chef’s bulging biceps hoisted Brown Sugar up and tossed her from the stage into the Cannon of Slay-me across the forest. Promptly pressing a shiny red button, Sis McSlay watched as Brown Sugar screetched, “I’M COMING, WIZARD!” as she blasted away into the sky. For the record, by “wizard,” she was not referring to Leonard, a black queen LARPing as a sexy mage who was eliminated 2nd in the competition, but instead to her illicit American lover, a “Grand Wizard” in an organization whose three initials are all comprised of the same letter…

“Taking the trash out, one silly billy (hillbilly that is!) at a time!” Prime Minister Cunt-ney dusted her hands off, a self-satisfied smirk on her ever-so-cunty face.

“We are down to TWO finalists,” Ru-Chef announced.

“Who will be the queen that snatches the crown on Ru-Chef’s Drag Race: Pahkitew Island? Will it be S-kai, non-binary short king (pronouns xe/she/xer/her) and Olympian-in-training, or Shawn-tay, smelly but spirited QAnon conspiracy theorist Shawn-tay (pronouns she/her)–?”

"–It’s ‘zombie conspiracy theorist, not QAnon! And zombies are totally real–“

“–Find out next week on the season finale of Total…Mama💅…Island!”

[chrismcleaneatspants]

General season 2 opinions. MASSIVE TDI 2023 season 2 spoilers ahead (as well as a huge wall of text.) You've been warned.

Ok, so here's everything I like about the season (I can count them on my fingers)

-There were some funny jokes

-MKulia was entertaining and it's now in my top 5 favorite ships, but it's not perfect, as I'll explain later

-Hockey dudes were a joy to watch I suppose

-Bowie stole the show as usual

-There are a lot of neat challenges (The canoe, slide, and dog challenges was a particular stand outs to me)

-MK herself was really funny

-MacArthur's cameo was a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one, and she bounces off of Chris really well

-Duncney is still broken up lol

Honestly that's about it in terms of positives, cuz I have a million other negatives for this supposed sequel to (imo) the best written season of the show.

-The Relationships were the single worst aspect about this season full stop. Ripaxel and Praleb are probably the worst couples the show has ever subjected me to. For Ripaxel, they basically removed anything interesting Ripper had going on and Axel wasn't allowed to live up to any kind of hype she created because one lame ass poem turned her into Ripper's girlfriend for the remaining duration of her run, only for the both of them to be tossed aside in episode 7 in perhaps the worst double elimination in the entire show.

-Praleb started off ok. I thought it was gonna be a one-sided crush plot initially before Episode 6. They had a couple cute moments before episode 8, of which their screentime became suffocating because afterwards is was this painful back and forth where Caleb tried explaining himself and Priya would be mad at him, then ally with him, then be mad at him again like it was so tiresome. By the time they got together in the finale again, I was wishing they had just followed up on Pramien instead. Caleb by himself was funny in the first half of season 2 and Priya was great in season 1, but the two of them together were insufferable

-Speaking of Priya, she went from one of the best characters in season 1 to one of the worst in season 2. Why did she have to make it all the way to episode fucking 12 after winning season 1?? Just for some generic heterosexual romance? They also made her so dumb with shit like knowing Julia is manipulating her but then getting a surprise Pikachu face when Julia manipulated her??? You spent your entire life preparing for this show, how the fuck did you not see this coming???

-Segwayying into Julia, she's the worst antagonist full stop. I've never seen such an absolute downgrade of a character. She was a goat in season 1 who was aware of her situation and acted accordingly because the stakes were real. Here? Reality basically warps around her just to keep her in the game. She does things characters would never fall for in season 1 and they just go with it?? They insist on keeping her in the finale and do basically nothing interesting with her. She's not even as funny as Island Heather at the end of the day.

-I mentioned MKulia earlier, so I'll just get to it here: I like it in concept. Two evil sapphics causing chaos together is really fun. My main issue is that it was very sudden. They both were not fans of each other at the end of season 1 and now I'm supposed to just believe they became friends off screen? I mean, I guess, but it's kinda cheap. I would have really liked it if it was straight up enemies to lovers ngl. Also the fact MK had very little agency outside of being Julia's lackey doesn't help either. I want to point to the fake contract thing, for instance. Why did Julia do that? That sounds like an MK thing to do.

-Time to dive into other characters: Damien is an absolute fucking tragedy. At the end of season 1, Damien had one ambition: win next season. They kinda did that, sure, but they regressed Damien into being a complete coward to do so, not to mention he didn't even go all the way either. Damien didn't get a W until episode 6 and tbh that was his only W. By the end of his tenure, I was left confused on what the point of his run was. (I'll come back to this later.)

-What was the point of Nichelle? Like seriously, what did she contribute to the season at all? They didn't do the ironic underdog story with her, and considering she was getting all egotistical and aggressive, i thought she was gonna be the antagonist for sure...until Julia got rid of her in episode 5 in a way that really shouldn't make sense cuz like Nichelle is an actual celebrity that stars in blockbuster movies, I'm pretty sure she could sniff a fake contract a mile away, right?

-Hockey dudes were great, but I felt like they were very dumbed down at times? Like they were just generic dumb dudes that just meandered around a lot of the time (Wayne in particular just straight up floated away from a challenge at one point)

-Bowie was alright too. His line delivery is great as usual, but let's not kid ourselves: In a well written season, he'd be going straight for Julia the next time his team lost. Bowraj was nice to see even if the season didn't really do a whole lot with it

-Am I the only one who thinks this season is a tad bit misogynistic? Like this is the shortest them phase the show as ever had (to the point where i'd argue teams don't really matter) and 4 of the 5 team phase boots were girls. Millie and Emma in particular were really bad. Like, you could make Millie a team phase boot without like shitting on her that hard. And Emma got like fuck all closure outside of breaking up with Chase off screen like wow, way to utilize such a high potential character, Fresh. And this is saying nothing about how the girls that did make it to the merge had plots basically dominated by romance and like nothing else. And then there's MKulia which is apparently intended to be a friendship but like is written like a romantic one at times. It gives me all-stars gwourtney vibes and (as a fan of gwourtney myself) not in a good way. At least MK and Julia were somewhat in character I guess, but they had their edges really sanded off and honestly as a friendship (situationship?) it's a complete downgrade from Millie and Priya in so many ways

-And another thing: who's the protagonist this season? Outside of Praleb, who am I supposed to care for? Who am I supposed to root for? By the halfway mark, the show doesn't really make any convincing arguments to root for like anyone there outside of maybe Damien? And he went gone in episode 10, so like, hockey dudes? No one has an interesting enough narrative for me to care.

-The immunity idol stinks as usual. Like, why did Damien do THE SAME FUCKING THING HEATHER DID IN ALL-STARS?? That actually pissed me off so much holy shit. The immunity idol as it stands in the show is basically a shitty plot device made to keep characters in as there's no real strategy revolved around it.

-Oh and another minor thing: Owen's cameo sucks, and that's entirely due to him not being physically aged up at all and just being a vehicle for the same dumb jokes they always make with him. so stupid

-Anyways, I spend an entire season with two shitass straight relationships taking up screentime, a whole multiude of potential plotlines from last season (pramien) and this season (scary girl's revenge, millie being the new ripper, damien's comeback, julia having internal conflict over her friendship (feelings?) for MK) being set up and just nothing being done with them, and characters in general just being nerfed or borderline out of character (Ripper) and what am I rewarded with?

-Soar Losers. The most boring nothing finale in the entire show. The choices for finalists suck, Wayne, while being the least bad option for a winner (and i do still like him a lot), is still a mid ass winner in the grand scheme of the entire show. And more praleb drama? fuck off I hate them so much. The challenge did not feel finale worthy at all, and honestly it was the worst challenge in the whole season. On top of being a bunch of nothing, the show decides to bring back the worst trope it ever had: losing hair as karma. I almost ragequit the episode on the spot that shit makes me so irrationally mad. I think it's even worse here because Julia still had hair after the fact, which makes it seem like they were aware it's not a popular TD trope but wanted to half commit to it anyways for the sake of tradition or something. Terrible finale to an already decently sized letdown of a season, but it has some ok MKulia moments I guess. The finale was just emblematic of the entire season, where things just happen and you're just expected to go along with everything. (Also side note how come Chase wasn't the one to jump off of the cart for pizza immediately?)

TL;DR reboot season 2 imo was a step down in every conceivable way from season 1 apart of i guess comedy and it's left a very sour taste in my mouth. I'm probably missing a few points that I'll add onto later but man it feels nice putting my opinion out there.

[canonically47]

aletyler posting (the day has come!) inspired by this

i am so mad they didn't give alejandro an actual friend. he deserved to have an actual friend to warm the ice around his cold heart. we all love to hc team chris as his friends, but he doesn't care for either of them, and even dislikes some. he ditches owen first chance he gets, he gets rid of noah immediately, he betrays duncan as fast as possible. and yes he has heather, but that's his love interest, never a friend, they just jump from enemy to lovers status

so you know who would have been GREAT as his friend? TYLER.

tyler, that pure of heart, dumb of ass, home of sexual guy. imagine they just let him stay for a bit longer. (first of all you need to imagine total drama is good so like, already getting ahead of ourselves, but imagine he stayed for longer, like he deserved.) he gets an actual character arc. with his sweet, caring nature, that is less annoying than owen's, he gets to alejandro. he becomes his greatest ally. and alejandro keeps insisting he's only using him to get further in the game, every confessional he just says tyler is an asset, he isn't anything else to him -

- and maybe tyler even hears this, and knows this. but he really sees the best in alejandro, and really trusts him despite this. because he hasn't gotten rid of him this far, why would he now?

so they become friends. they carry each other further than tyler ever hoped he'd get. and the best part? absolutely no betrayal needed. tyler can just have a medical/double elimination when he ties with someone, and alejandro wouldn't have voted for him; his plans would just have been foiled.

i just think they were such a missed opportunity as a duo. alejandro is the brains and the brawn, tyler is a bit of brawn but mostly just the emotional support. and eventually alejandro warms up to him, and comes to really like him.

sighs.. i love them

[melis-writes]

What if Victoria and Sonny were secretly together when Vito & Giuseppe arrange her marriage to Michael… Sonny has to see the love of his life married to his little brother and Victoria has to marry her lover’s brother.

But they keep up their secret relationship, their secret affair with each other. They don’t care that she’s now married to Michael or that he’s married to Sandra.

They realize that now that she’s married that Sonny can finally knock her up and have babies together.

Niccolò & Verona? Sonny’s kids.

Vincent & James? Sonny’s kids.

Luciana & Angelo? Sonny’s kids.

and all other kids are his too.

Omg the eternal Victonny plotline from start to finish. 😅😅❤ Real definition of what Michael doesn’t know can’t hurt him! 👀😩

Double Matrimony.

“My daughter is an eligible bachelorette,” you mumble, repeating your father’s words. “You have no idea how many times I’ve heard him say that last week alone.”

Sonny chuckles, giving your side a squeeze as he pulls your naked body closer to his. “Ain’t that the farthest thing from the truth? I expected it though.”

“Did you?” You pout, snuggling up to Sonny; pressing your breasts against his chest.

“I can’t blame him too much, baby,” Sonny tilts your chin up to face him, caressing the outline of your jaw. “You’re young, his only daughter and nothin’ short of perfect,” his eyes wander over your lips, “you know that? Your family wouldn’t have to look far and wide to find someone for you.”

You shrug glumly, resting your head nuzzled in Sonny’s neck. “I couldn’t care less about any of that. Father should consider you if he wasn’t so judgmental and over cautious about everything…”

Sonny purses his lips, stroking your hair with his free hand. “I can understand why a powerful man like your father wouldn’t want you to be with an enforcer. That won’t ever change the fact that you’re mine, baby.”

“I only want to be yours,” you breathe against his skin. “Nothing else matters to me right now. This is what we have… What I want.”

“You’ll never not be mine, you got that?” Sonny smirks down at you. “So what, you’ll scrawl your name on some fancy piece of paper with the word ‘marriage’ on it. You think I care about that? How’s that toilet roll supposed to know how you truly feel? You’re mine, Vic.” Sonny chuckles against your lips as you can’t help but smile back shyly. “You’re always gonna be mine, and if your father wanted you for Fredo or somethin’, trust me, I think he would have let you know by now.”

“And Sandra?” You whisper back, playing with Sonny’s cross necklace. “Your relationship with her?”

“No relationship is worth mentionin’ if the ‘woman of your life’ wants you bedding someone else for her own convenience, right? Forget her,” Sonny’s hands begin to wander up your chest, fondling your breasts. “Forget ‘em all. I already did. You got a whole lot more to worry about right now, Miss Ferrari.”

“Oh yeah?” Blushing furiously, you place your hands over top of Sonny’s, beckoning him to keep touching you all over. “Indulge me, Mr. Corleone. I think you’re teasing me.”

“I’m getting your mind off things,” Sonny gives you a wet kiss over the lips. “Because I want you to worry about how sore that pussy’s going to be once I have my way with it again…” Sonny’s free hand grasps his erect cock as he begins to position himself over top of you. “You’ve always loved that…”

“Oh God, please,” you writhe underneath Sonny, spreading your legs as wide as you can obediently. “You have no idea.”

“Signature on no paper don’t mean nothing,” Sonny grunts, spreading open your pussy with his fingers and grinning. “Not when you got my seed drippin’ out of you every day. Not when this pussy is mine…”

~

While many of the crime families in New York have more than enough eligible bachelors for you to choose from, your father knows better.

Giuseppe knows you’d like to be with someone as involved in the family business as you; no more, no less, which effectively eliminates the possibility of your father ever considering enforcers, capos, and buttonmen.

A bachelor in the middle ranks without too much attention or influence on him would be best, but you could care less for Don Tattaglia and Barzini’s sons and Giuseppe knew Bruno Tattaglia had his eyes on you for a while.

Don Ferrari also has no intention on having you enter a soulless, loveless marriage; very keen on your body language and expressions towards the bachelor’s you’ve met so far.

Simply telling your father you’re seeing Sonny is not and can never be enough to convince your father. Giuseppe would never consider the possibility of having a target willingly placed on you for marrying an enforcer—Sonny’s position or being involved directly in the family business more than you bargained for.

On the other hand, you and Sonny gave up a long time ago attempting to come up with justifications and explanations for your relationship.

You don’t feel as if it’s a “secret” per say, but that it’s shrouded in privacy and indeed better off if others didn’t know considering Sonny’s brutish reputation in the Corleone family and the fact you’re with a married man.

Avoiding danger and scandals, Sonny and you have already been committed to one another for the past two years. At the age of twenty-four now, you knew if you and Sonny had the chance and opportunity, that you two would have married long ago.

It’s still somewhat too painful for you to remember Sonny’s married and you can never take that away from him so as long as his family and yours doesn’t stand for a divorce over an adulterous relationship, but you’re easily able to forget it all when you’re with Sonny.

You know Don Corleone’s only eligible bachelor is Fredo Corleone, and your father also knows Fredo’s not so pleasant track record so you expect your “formal” meeting with the Corleone’s next week to go smoothly with a solid “no”.

What you expect, however, is seldom what you receive.

Thinking a polite “no” to marrying Fredo would suffice never even leads up to happen, as your father ignores Fredo’s presence in Don Vito Corleone’s office entirely.

While it’s your first time inside the Corleone estate and none are aware you personally know Sonny, formal introductions are made and go around the room as you pretend that the man standing across from you and leaning against the wall is just the enforcer of the Corleone family, and not the love of your life.

“My eldest son, Santino,” Vito gestures to Sonny who gives you a polite smile.

You blush furiously, nodding back at him and attempting to appear remotely confused and unfamiliar with Sonny.

“Your eldest?” A smile grows over your father’s lips, momentarily sparking some sort of hope in you. “Is he to succeed you, then?”

“He is,” Vito nods, which only brings a crashing wave of disappointment in your heart.

You can see the interest that lit up in your father’s eyes fade away just as quickly. You knew as much through Sonny, but this raises the question of extreme danger for a Don to be, and something your father doesn’t want for you.

Vito’s eyes meet with Giuseppe’s as he nods; he too is aware of what your father wants for you, and would never mention Fredo out of embarrassment and good faith.

“My youngest son Michael is an eligible bachelor,” Vito speaks up, gesturing to Michael who otherwise sits rather quietly and out of attention near Vito’s desk.

Blinking, you catch Michael’s eye as both of you look upon each other with moderate curiosity. It’s then that you miss the expression on Sonny’s face entirely; his world coming down at the possibility of you marrying Michael.

“He’s twenty-nine and just returned back from Sicily,” Vito continues and sees no objection from Michael in any way.

Your attraction to Michael spikes up then and there but it’s nothing compared to everything you have and feel for Sonny. No, it could never come close or harbor such passionate romance; you already know this from first glance at Michael.

Sonny bites down on his lip, staring deadpan at the floor as he overhears Vito and Giuseppe agreeing and pairing you with his youngest brother; Sonny was never even an option despite being the only man in the room that can ever make you happy and you can’t even say no.

“It’s settled then,” you hear your father say as your heart thunders in your chest and your cheeks flush scarlet with blush. “If the two can come to an agreement, they can marry.”

“Our two families will come together as one,” Vito agrees, “Michael, do you object?”

“No,” Michael replies plainly.

Sonny shifts his weight, beginning to grow uneasy and irritated, but holds himself together well as he continues to listen.

“And you, sweetheart?” Your father asks, “will you enter a courtship with Michael?”

“I will,” you answer, feeling your stomach knot up in anxiety; never have you answered with such defiance in your heart.

Feeling his heart break in his chest, Sonny’s eyes are full of venom watching his baby brother kiss your hand and attempt to charm with what Sonny calls half-assed small talk.

There isn’t a chance in hell Sonny will stick around to see the engagement ceremony or hear Michael woo you with sweet nothings and lavish gifts; there’s a silver lining to this that you both believe in now.

Neither of you care for the relationships you’re in. They’re a mask to society to show you’re married and a part of a family, but they’re meaningless and they’re nothing to both you and Sonny.

Your engagement to Michael let alone your marriage in the next three weeks won’t stand in the way of anything you and Sonny have.

“I’m going to be with you forever,” you whispered in his ear, feeling tears stream down your cheeks. “I don’t…. I don’t have your ring or your name on my wedding certificate, but you’re my husband. You are.”

“And you’re my bride,” Sonny squeezed both of your hands, looking you in the eye. “Nothing changes. Nothing.”

In truth, it was easier on you afterwards. Sonny already had to live a double life to be with you but luckily, Sandra’s barely involved in her own marriage these days.

You play the role of the Corleone housewife well, but you’re neither clingy, excitable or hopelessly affectionate with Michael who could care less about noticing if there’s a lack of passion in your marriage with him due to his increasing involvement with the family business eating up most of his time.

What you and Sonny have come to realize is that neither of you need to be careful or use protection anymore. Having twice as much more sex whenever possible as compared to once a week with Michael, only you and Sonny know the truth.

You already could sense you were pregnant a week before you and Michael had sex for the first time. The twins you carried inside of you—boy and a girl whom you both named Niccolo and Verona weren’t Michaels. Sonny had fathered those twins.

Because Michael noticed nothing off about the timing of your pregnancy nor was there any suspicion at all whatsoever about if you and Sonny were “close” by any regard, he was permanently clueless and indifferent.

Even when you had your third child and second son, Vincent, you knew it was Sonny’s. By 1960, you had already give birth to six of Sonny’s children and none of Michael’s.

Your family and the Corleone’s gleefully compared how he babies looked strongly from the Corleone side of the family with a good mix of everyone but when you and Sonny looked at your children, you saw each other’s facial features as clear as day.

“He’s clueless, so let him be clueless,” Sonny grasps his hand over your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “Wouldn’t want the baby brother to know how many times I knocked up his so called wife, huh?”

“Never,” you let out a breathy moan back, wrapping your arms around Sonny’s shoulders. “I don’t care either. Those are our babies. Those are…” Confidence wanes from your throat as your voice trails off. “I…”

“No, no, no,” Sonny shakes his head, “look at me, baby. Look at me.”

“Sonny, they’ll grow up and—” your throat tightens from emotion, “and if they look like you—or, o-or we have to tell them the truth eventually. They need to you you’re their father and—”

“And they will,” Sonny reaffirms, looking you in the eye. “I promise you.”

“How?” You croak back, tears spilling from your eyes. “How would we even do that?”

“I’m not planning on keeping you here with Michael forever,” Sonny lowers his tone of voice. “You just have to trust me, darling. I’ll fix all of this. I will. We will be a family together someday. I promise.”

[animalcrossingshowdown]

Youtube: Robot Synth / Lovers

This is round 4 of the primary bracket in a double elimination tournament to determine the best K.K. song. A song must lose twice to be eliminated. The loser of this poll will be sent to the secondary bracket where they still have a chance to win.