#*not actual humans actual creatures in the setting

[octopiys]

Cw: blood, body horror, mentions of torture/death

Nature conservation officer!Johnny who the second the thing leaves his sight, he's back inside, dialing his work place and calling his friend Gary, who's had the misfortune of picking up night shifts recently.

NCO!Johnny who's voice shakes when he tries to recount the beast, slipping a little too far into a panicked gaelic before he hears a knock at the door. He sets the phone down.

Mind you, it's still very early hours of the morning, and he never expects any guests.

NCO!Johnny, who's never forgotten a lesson from his grandma, seared into his brain like the wards on the walls of his old cottage.

He grabs a pair of old iron shears.

The back of his neck prickles.

He looks through the peephole.

Soldier!Simon who hates Mexico. It's nothing like the highlands that he had grown to call home. His team was odd, but they were nice enough, for the most part. They worked well together.

Soldier!Simon, who approaches the cartel house, a huge mansion hidden in the words. The hair on his arms raises, like his body was trying to tell him something his mind didn't know. But he brushes it off as mission jitters.

Soldier!Simon who notices the rings of mushrooms around the mansion.

When they were young, Johnny used to tell him stories of mythological creatures, warnings his grandmother passed down of what to avoid and what not to avoid.

She called these things fae circles.

But they're all just stories, trying to scare little kids and teenagers into behaving.

He's a soldier now, he knows better.

They make their way to the side of the house, breaching the perimeter and filing in. He turns to make sure his Major gets in fine, and sees something just beyond the trees. Something massive, and lurking, and he blinks and it's gone.

Soldier!Simon who doesn't realize until the gun is turned on him that he's been betrayed, it isn't until he's bleeding out that he thinks of Johnny.

The stupid smile that cut through the clouded haze when he was a teen, after his father had been caught and arrested, his whole life uprooted and moved north to Scotland. Piercing blue eyes that lit up when he realized he was actually listening to him. When he fell out of the tree, and Johnny was the first person to run up and check if he was okay.

Captive!Simon who was pulled up by his hair, looking into the face of a beast that his mind couldn't quite comprehend, making his skin go cold and eyes go wide. A beast that feasted on blood or must've, something of the sort. It smelled like wet earth and rich iron, and something dark mouths around his skin. It sets off pins and needles beneath his flesh, worse than any torture he's endured yet. Something molds, and shifts, and he can't tell if he's screaming or not.

[REDACTED]!Simon who can't draw the line between feeling real and not existing at all. Something has shifted, like his bones don't sit right, his hands too heavy, his breath too slow.

He opens his eyes and finds his own, staring back at him.

Except they weren't. They weren't his. Those eyes blinked too hard at him, it's face splitting into a terrifying grin, too wide, with too many teeth, and it turns away. He's filled with dread, as the seeping darkness pulls him to his knees. The ground shifts around him, and he swears he sees mushrooms pop up around him.

The earth swallows him up, and he is no more.

No one's at his door.

NCO!Johnny who picks up the phone, still shaking, and apologizes to Gary, who thinks he's been eaten by a bear or something. He calms the poor kid's heart as he hangs the iron shears in his window, like his grandma is whispering in his ear.

Superstitious!Johnny, who doesn't sleep that night. He's never seen anything like that thing. It's massive, and it must thrive around his ecosystem, which would explain why the deer population was dwindling. It would need to support himself off of larger creatures.... would it....

Does it eat humans?

The hair on the back of his neck raises again, and he looks out the window.

Superstitious!Johnny, who finds himself looking for Simon's eyes. His real ones. Kind and soft and honey colored, ones that harden in an instant at the sight of something unjust, ones that sparkle when he talks too long. Not the ones that replaced him next door, muddy and cold and dark, not an ounce of kindness in them.

Whatever moved in next door was most certainly not the Simon that he knew.

Fae!Simon who exists in the woods. Something is familiar here. The smell, maybe. The taste of it on his tongue. Too much light hurt his eyes, but the green shade was calming. It soothed the too many voices in his head.

There's a warm light outside of the woods. It doesn't hurt his eyes. Its.... comforting. The deer skull on his face fits him like a mask. Antlers sprouted out, and he didn't know if it was him, or the skull. He didn't have much sense of self, so it didn't bother him too much.

Fae!Simon who's ears hurt when something beneath him bends and contorts, metal scraping and shrieking on itself. He crumples it in his grip, satisfied when it no longer makes noise. He drops it.

There's more light, and he looks up, pupils dilating as a figure appears.

It's bigger than the ones he's found in the woods, ones that smell like rot, ones there long before he found them. This one was upright. This one moved, and breathed, and smelled great.

Home, the beast in his chest purred at the sight of this little creature in the doorway, and the voices in his head quieted.

It was too bright, as a beacon shines in his eyes, shooting pain through his head, and he turns away, seeking the safety of the woods again.

Changeling!Ghost, who sees John on the phone. Witch, the voice inside of him growls. Witch.

Changeling!Ghost who's knuckles burn from the iron embedded into the door, who shouldn't have knocked in the first place.

Changeling/Replacement!Ghost, who vows that he needs to get rid of the fae in the forest. It's starting to intervene too much with his work.

Find part 1 here, and part 3 here

Taglist: @impossibletopronounce

Inspired by Meet Me In The Woods by Lord Huron

Questions? My ask box is open!!! <3

[nunalastor]

Well, hello!

Continuing with this theory: https://www.tumblr.com/nunalastor/750428920743116800/well-hello-i-was-talking-to-a-friend-who-says?source=share

My friend and I have seen some things regarding Alastor that make us think that this theory makes sense.

Alastor's Powers: We know in the fandom we like to joke about how a lot of Alastor's powers don't make sense since they seem to be a mix of things Vivzie liked. There are his radio powers that are explained because Alastor was a radio host in life. The fact that he looks like a deer, on the one hand because he was supposedly mistaken for one when he died, and on the other because he is partly inspired by a creature known to be a cannibal, and the fact that Alastor was supposedly a cannibal when he was alive, is supposedly justified by the time in which he lived. According to my friend, there were many changes regarding Alastor's cannibalism. At first, Alastor supposedly always had tendencies towards cannibalism while alive, later that changed to the fact that he resorted to cannibalism to hide his crimes and to not waste meat since in his time it was difficult to get food due to the Great Depression. There was also a time where Alastor was said to have become a cannibal after meeting Rosie in Hell.

With my friend we focused on his magic, with strange symbols, control of shadows, creation of portals, things appearing out of nowhere, manipulation of reality, control of space/time (being able to move structures, like Husk's bar) , that he can become giant and those tentacles make us think about the use of eldritch magic, related to cosmic horror, which is what Cthulhu (Malvada in this universe) is basically. These powers specifically are the strangest in his aesthetic, which doesn't seem to fit with what little we know about Alastor. Therefore, we believe that our theory with Malvada could fit, since his relationship with him would specifically explain these powers.

Furthermore, watching chapter 1 of Helluva Boss, we meet a family of cannibals, and when they go to "sacrifice" Blitzø and Millie, we can see on the trees symbols similar to those that appear when Alastor uses his powers, and there is also a little mention of Roo (Martha says "May the Root of Evil be honored as we continue thy work!" before setting the imps on fire in an attempt to send them back to Hell), so possibly Malvada or Roo were sharing rituals with humans to increase their influence. Perhaps Alastor, by activating part of his powers while alive, investigated and felt subconsciously inclined towards those rituals that were combined with cannibalism, like the family in that episode of Helluba Boss.

Another point to note is Alastor's ability to kill or cause permanent damage without the use of angelic weapons (we thank @allastordeer for this post https://www.tumblr.com/allastoredeer/750704662811983872/that-moment-you-realize-alastor-is-actually-way?source=share where them gives a more detailed explanation of what we will talk about below)

We're not told much about what exactly Alastor did when he eliminated other Overlords, but we know that they were never seen after their screams appeared on the radio, so we can assume that Alastor was somehow able to permanently kill these Overlords. Based on what we know of this universe, that's basically impossible. Unless you make use of angelic weapons, one sinner cannot kill another, any damage is supposed to regenerate over time. In chapter 2 of Hazbin Hotel, Velvette complains that Valentino destroyed her best model and she has no time or patience to wait for her to regenerate. And Vaggie recovers her wings in chapter 7, but she does not recover her eye, this is because Lute removed her eye with an angelic weapon, while she tore off the wings with her own hands so they could regenerate (and yes, we believe in the power of love, why not?). There is also a theory that, in the last fight between Vox and Alastor, Valentino got involved and lost his antenna ("Is someone who owes us more than money"), an antenna that has not regenerated in the 7 years since that fight. And apparently in chapter 5, Alastor permanently killed the sharks that were chasing Mimzy.

Therefore, for some reason, Alastor is capable of causing permanent damage and ultimate death, supposedly without the use of angelic weapons. This could justify the fact that Alastor will face Adam without these weapons. Yes, I've seen many mock that Alastor didn't last long in that fight, but for some reason Alastor thought he could take on Adam without angelic weapons even though he was using them with his tentacles when he raised the shield around the hotel. My friend and I believe that he was testing the effectiveness of those weapons against the angels and showing the others that they were indeed not unprotected, or, if he believed that he could defeat Adam just as he was able to kill other Overlords, he was looking for Adam to go down guard, so he couldn't show that he had that ability until he had it face to face, but unfortunately he didn't have the opportunity to test that theory, either because he really doesn't have that ability, or his contract, possibly with Roo, allowed him prevented him from doing so (Alastor losing is not about power, not even intelligence. Niftty stabbed Adam in the back when he was distracted, and Alastor did land a couple of blows on Adam, the deer was just as arrogant as his opponent and he started playing instead of fighting seriously from the beginning...we blame the script, if Alastor had won Sir Pentius would not have been sacrificed/redeemed and Lucifer would not have appeared)

And speaking of the fight with Adam, that's another point my friend and I talked about, Alastor shouldn't have survived. Another sinner would not have survived, and while Alastor was seriously wounded, he is still able to stand. Using his shadows to move, he walked to his radio station, had his break down and sang his part of Finale, with an open wound, caused by an angelic weapon used by the first man, the most powerful of the exorcists.

Added to that, another point to consider is his blood. While we generally see that Alastor's blood is red, there are also occasions where a "black substance" appears (mainly in the art of the pilot, in the comic "A day in the Afterlife" and I think in a couple of scenes from the series). While sinners have red blood because they were human, those born in hell have black blood (imps, Goetia). Charlie has red blood because she is the daughter of an Angel and a human (Lilith technically never died, she became... a demon? First Sinner? By falling with Lucifer, who still has golden blood like everyone in heaven). Therefore, Alastor is not hell-born, so he has red blood like all sinners, but he still sometimes secretes that "black substance" that could mean that, little by little, he is becoming what Malvada wants.

Also, mention the eyes that follow Alastor. Although these eyes are all over hell, and focus on important events, such as on Angel and Husk in chapter 4, or on the Hotel team and Valentino in chapter 6, when Alastor appears the eyes focus specifically on him. And let's not ignore that anyone from the hotel or the Vees has a direct or indirect relationship with Alastor. If the eyes are Roo's, it makes sense that she is watching Alastor, either on Malvada's orders or because Roo has his soul.

And finally, the contrasts between Alastor and Lucifer, which may be a clue that there is some kind of relationship between them indirectly. If Malvada exists and is the rightful ruler of hell, then, for him, Lucifer is a usurper, a "prince of heaven" who took his place from the "prince of shadows."

With my friend we saw this publication @blue-rose-soul (https://www.tumblr.com/blue-rose-soul/743809883930017792/it-just-dawned-on-me-how-fitting-it-is-the-king?source=share) and we thought it made sense with our theory. While Lucifer and his family have powers related to fire and light, Alastor has shadow powers (and green fire...which is the fire that does harm imps). While Lucifer has 6 wings, Alastor has 4 (occasionally 6) tentacles. That Alastor is a deer puts him biblically opposed to Lucifer (in the publication they talks about deer being the animal symbol of Jesus Christ). Basically, Lucifer and Alastor seem designed to oppose each other (consider that the post is related to their "the Devil's bastard AU" where Alastor is the secret son of Lucifer, a great AU that I highly recommend, but the comparison still works with this theory)

Of course, this is just a theory born from old information, but we love it when canon somehow fits our delusions.

👀

[bitchthefuck1]

Hate how stories about a human character getting romantically involved with magical demon-fairy-vampire-elf-etc always frame the nonhuman partner as, like, universally desirable and an obviously appealing choice instead of actually engaging with the fact that the normal-average main character is a bit of a freak for being so down to clown with what is essentially a completely different species

[collegeoflore]

i just think there’s no point if he’s not a little scary is all. he just needs to be kind of freaky.

[hauntingblue]

Oh that sheet metal eating little fish should be dead by now

[landfilloftrash]

it has been years since that revelation and it has only gotten worse.

aka could I be normal for two seconds

[mchi22]

i think fin fin could reasonably exist within splatoon canon

[waffled-iron]

I love her. very mucj.

she is a redesign of a doodle I made a while ago. it was originally just an anthro bee with the fluffy hair, but I have too many furry ocs, soooo yeah

I chose that name for her bc its the last part of Bombus terrestris, a type of bumble bee

I might change the shirt in the future. I dont really like it. also yeah she has compound eyes and covers them up bc she thinks they will scare others. also its an excuse not to draw eyes

[iamthepulta]

I feel like I'm one of the few people who doesn't dive in and make OCs of their SSeas characters. I also don't play the game aggressively? I just kind of float around and make spreadsheets and map out my routes to get me the best cargo. I don't grind sunlight. I don't grind sphinx-stone. I pretty explicitly don't turn cannibal and I usually take the game's least bad option. But I've still gotten two ambitions and I consider myself pretty adept at SSeas at this point. Maybe that's just me...? Idk. I'm a really casual gamer. A.K. takes up 0% of my brainspace.

I think that's also a reflection on me though: I play FOR the atmosphere, not for the characters written in the setting, so it bothers me less when I see weird things, and when I do see weird things, my brain goes 'oh that's bad, +1 anarchy'.

[lepertamar]

.

[anarchist-rat-swarm]

Got an interesting take on eldritch horror for all you writers out there. It's a bit of a roundabout schlep to reach the actual idea, but writers tend to be readers so I hold you'll stick with me til we get there.

So, consider a 2D creature. Little flat dude, living on the ground. No concept of "up" or "down." He's 2D, he just doesn't parse the concepts and can't perceive them anyways.

He sees you. What he actually sees is just the 2D cross section of you where you intersect with his 2D world, which is probably your footprints. So, as far as he can tell, you are a pair of footprints that are.... apparently one being? He doesn't get how it works exactly, but it's not too far out there, so he just kind of accepts that, yes, humans are The Two That Are One. Spooky. They always seem to use the singular to refer to the pair of themselves, and only differentiate between themselves as Left or Right. But other paired instances of The Two That Are One are, in fact, separate entities. So they're only in sets of two, unless accompanied by a companion called "Cane," which they are sometimes, or even a pair of companions called "Crutches." When Crutches are present, sometimes one of The Two That Are One will be missing entirely. It's a little confusing.

But wait, what now? They disappear and reappear in sequence, teleporting in turns. He never sees them just move like a 2D being, always the stop-start teleporting. Apparently this strange power is called "walking," and its accomplished by The Two That Are One moving through an unseen dimension called "Up," through a process called "lifting" themselves and re-entering the real world farther away in the direction they wanted to go. He can accept the idea of unseen dimensions, and he vaguely gets the idea that one of The Two That Are One must remain anchored in the real world to prevent something called "falling," which is some kind of uncontrolled movement through the unperceivable dimension of "Down." Which is the same dimension as "Up," but...... backwards? Reversed? He's not really clear, but "Falling Down" is presumably bad, so The Two That Are One keep one of themselves here in the real world to prevent it.

Except if they do something called "jumping." Which consists of gathering up their power to hurl themselves through the Up dimension together to reappear together somewhere else in the real world. He isn't sure why they Walk instead of Jump, since it seems better to take both of The Two That Are One together at the same time, but okay.

Okay, what the hell, they can Walk through impenetrable barriers like the great wall of Sidewalk Chalk? How do they go through that? What? They went "Over?" The hell is "Over?" Like 'around' but through the unseen dimension of Up? But they couldn't Walk through the barrier of Wall. Why could they go "Over" Sidewalk Chalk but not Wall?

And they can't go between the four small obstacles of Refrigerator Feet. The area between them is safe from The Two That Are One, for the four Refrigerator Feet are connected to each other in the strange and eldritch dimension of Up. The barriers are too powerful to be moved by The Two That Are One, and it (they?) cannot enter the real world where it is blocked by such powerful forces.

Got all that?

Okay, now consider a 4 dimensional elder god and how we 3D entities would perceive them.

[dravidious]

You're more amazing than the thing that, uh... More amazing than... That one thing.

More amazing than these TEN things?!

SURPRISE! TWENTY CARDS!

[afieldinengland]

the devil

[gremlingottoosilly]

So what about a Monster! Konig and Monster! Reader where Konig is this octopus eldritch hybrid and reader is some type of pretty bioluminescent jellyfish hybrid. Bonus points if reader literally just wants to be left alone and uses the jellyfish stinging tentacles on Konig but it just does work because he’s immune or something. (btw I’m in love with your writing and I’d marry it if I could.)

Being a jellyfish hybrid is a very nice life, actually. You're pretty but harmless enough to never have others hunt you just for the sake of their own safety. You have a very nice set of tentacles instead of a simple tail like most mermaids do, so you don't have a problem escaping most trouble and just minding your business. You never pick up fights with anyone, but you do have stinging tendrils in case someone wants to be brave and stupid. You literally just want to collect your little trinkets and sleep in the small cave you found for yourself. Konig doesn't get the memo. Of course, he is big, ancient, probably the strongest ocean hybrid out here - there aren't a lot of merfolks who had seen him and were alive long enough to tell the tale. He has an ego and a temper and a set of wandering eyes that always stare at the way your half-translucent tentacles are swimming in the water, reflecting the dim light of the cave stars. He is not used to other people rejecting him and surviving this, so you kinda understand why he decided to cling onto you. You just...you don't get why. He is an eldritch creature, the strongest out there - there should be a line of dumber mermaids willing to carry his brood and be happy baby mommas. You just want to collect human treasures and shiny jewelry. You sting him the first time he approached you. Konig, a creature of the depths, was enthralled by the soft light your body was emaciating; you can't blame him for being a bit curious. You can, however, blame him for the fact that when you stung him the first time, he moaned. Loudly. And this is how his obsession started. He follows you around, using his immunity to your poison as a free pass into your cave. you try to shove him off with your hands, but the creature is far too aroused whenever you put your palms on him, so you stop even trying after the first few times. He is horrible and distracting; he deserves nothing but the absolute worst, and yet you can't help but imagine how nice it would be if he used his large, muscular hands for something useful. If he embraced you instead of tugging on your tentacles if he would kiss you instead of barking laughter and whimpering moans whenever you do sting him. He is not fully immune to your poison...it's just that the feeling makes him cum almost instantly, and you're the prettiest creature he ever saw at the bottom of the sea. Pretty, cute, helpless against him, but can take care of yourself and the brood once he is finally filling you up with his eggs. Smile, for you have become his first and only wife. You literally just wanted to be left alone.

[i-drop-level-one-loot]

*NSFW* How to train your pet Human (Yandere!Alien X GN!Reader)

CW: Mind break, training, human pet, pet/owner relationship, humiliation, dub-con, non-con, dead dove

Pt 2, pt 3

(Reader) sat quietly and fearfully in a small cage that didn't allow for any wiggle room, their legs falling asleep under them from being in the same position for so long. They didn't remember how they got here, in a cage surrounded by freaks in what seemed to be a street market, only remembering walking home from the convenience store a little past midnight and seeing a white, blinding light before passing out.

Aliens of all shapes stuck their disgusting faces towards the bars of (Reader's) cage, speaking in sounds that didn't sound like speech at all. (Reader) watched as sniffling cages near them were bought one by one, and feared for their future.

After nearly an entire day (Reader) felt their cage lift high above the ground without shaking, and witnessed a tall creature draped with beautiful deep blue robes raise the cage to get a better look at (Reader's) face without needing to bend down. And bending down to the tiny cage must have been impossible without dirtying it's knees, since it seemed over seven feet tall.

It's face face was smooth, with large, opal colored eyes eyes in a hard shelled face. There was no nose, or lips, on its black and purple iridescent face. It spoke in a human like voice, in an earth language (Reader) couldn't understand.

"What?" Their voice was dry from dehydration.

"I asked what language you speak."

The voice was higher than expected, and melodic, yet still masculine. He lowered the cage to his hip, but didn't set (Reader) down, exchanging chatter with the seller and handing over a bag full of, what (Reader) assumed to be, some type of currency.

(Reader) was carried back to what looked like to be a large ship, dying of anxiety over what was going to become of them. They passed through multiple corridors and gateways, before entering a room decorated with glass cases and blue drapery the same color as the alien's cloak. He placed the cage on the floor and unlatched it, stepping back to give (Reader) space.

They tried to stand, but their legs were dead from the hours they spent bent doubled over. They cried in pain as the feeling began to slowly tingle down their thighs to their feet.

"What is wrong, human?"

(Reader) wiped away the snot and tears rolling down their chin. "My-My legs are numb from sitting in the cage. It hurts."

The one who bought (Reader) reached under their arm pits, raising them up and sitting them on a very high desk. He reached with what looked like scaled hands and began to massage their legs. (Reader) whined in discomfort, both at the pain and the uncomfortable situation, fearful to push the much taller creature away. Now that they were out of the cage, the alien was much taller and imposing, visibly sleek bodied under the fabric, but not scrawny, (Reader) could feel his strength.

"What is your name, human?"

"...(Reader)."

"(Reader)." He practiced saying their name, still massaging their legs. "I am Kirtch."

(Reader) nervously fiddled with the bottom of their shirt. "Why am I here?"

Kirtch pried his eyes away from their legs, looking down into (Reader's) scared face. "This will be your new home."

"What?" (Reader's) heart dropped into their stomach.

"I promise your safety, (Reader). I will do my best to provide you with comfort." Kirtch picked (Reader) up again, but didn't set them down, carrying them around the room giving them a little tour. The room was actually three, entering from the main hall into a study first, with another door leading to a bedroom, a small restroom hidden within that.

"I didn't expect to be bringing you home, so I don't have any human furniture yet. Although I've never owned a human before there is no need for you to fret, I have done extensive research, and I am confident as a first time owner."

(Reader) only just began to fully realize what was happening to them. "I.. I want to go home." The back of their throat got tight, choking back a sob painfully. Their nose began to tingle and they knew they wouldn't be able to hold back their tears for long.

Kirtch rubbed their back in what was supposed to be a comforting manor, but his hands were harder than a humans, and it was rough against their skin. "You'll feel better once your adjustment period is over. I shall bring you something to eat. It won't be a cultural dish from your planet, but it will be made of human safe ingredients."

(Reader) stretched their legs while trying to smile through their tears. 'Like hell. I'd rather die.'

They watched as he left the room, wondering how far away the kitchen or dining area was from the room they were in. (Reader) waited for a few minutes after Kirtch left before shakily rushing towards the door. But the door had no handles or knobs, it was a flat wall with barley any indication that there was an opening at all. They touched all over the spot (Reader) had seen the tall man had placed his hand, but nothing happened.

"no no nO NO!" They slapped the "door" in frustration. Time for plan B. (Reader) pressed their back against the wall, as flat as they could muster, just trying to make sure they wouldn't be visible in Kirtch's peripherals. The fear was destroying the lining of (Reader's) stomach, gurgling uncomfortably.

A whirring noise activated as Kirtch entered the room, holding a tray in his hands. It was quick, but (Reader) snuck right behind Kirtch and out the room without him noticing, right before the automatic door slid shut. The walls of the hallway were very tall and slightly rounded, made out of a blue metal. (Reader) began running in the direction they remembered entering from. They knew the probability that they were still on land was slim, but dying was better than being kept a prisoner without any hope of returning home.

(Reader) made it down only one hallway before strong hands effortlessly lifted them under their armpits. They kicked while crying, not seemingly phasing Kirtch in the slightest. He brought them back to his room, and his lack of anger hurt (Reader's) pride; it was good that he wasn't furious, threatening to hurt them, but his calmness reinforced the futility of (Reader's) escape attempt.

"That was my fault. I read that humans were prone to escaping, especially in the adjustment period. I should have expected this." He sat down, a deep imitation of a sigh rumbling through his hard chest. Kirtch sat down in his large chair in front of his desk, and laid (Reader) across his knees as their face fell. "Knowing this is my fault brings me no joy for what I need to do, however the manual did say that humans will test authority and will continue to do so if not punished."

(Reader) protested while squirming, incapable of breaking free as Kirtch slid their pants down to their thighs, exposing their bare bottom. His shelled hand was cold against their skin. (Reader) clenched to prepare themselves for contact, but it was useless against the inhuman slap, his hard flesh resulting in a sharp pain like they had been struck with a paddle instead of a hand. They yelped, squeezing their thighs together as the tears began to form again.

Another slap connected with their ass painfully, stinging as their tender rear began to bruise.

"I'm so-sorry!" (Reader) blubbered, another whack rippling their buttocks aggressively.

"Humans may appear remorseful, however this is self defense tactic to cease the pain they are experiencing. Unless one establishes themselves as the dominant force, they will continue to act out."

"No! I really am sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!!" Their voice cracked as they screamed out the apology between sobs and slaps.

Kirtch smiled, rubbing the skin he had split open, stinging the fresh cuts. "I shall finish with your punishment for now. I do not wish to spoil you, but I would be lying if I didn't have a soft spot for you, my cute little pet. The next time this happens I will not be so gentle.."

(Reader) widened their eyes in horror. That was gentle?!

"Would you rather spend your first night in my bed, or shall I prepare a nest on the floor for you? I will buy a suitable human bed for you tomorrow, of course, but until then..?"

"The floor." (Reader) replied a little too quickly.

A "nest" of bedding was constructed, and (Reader) did find it quite comfortable, but refused to sleep, fearful that at any moment they would be in danger. They rested for what only felt like three or fours hours, max, before Kirtch rose from his bed and begun his day. His routine was uncannily similar to a human's, rising and dressing in his robe, stretching and leaving to five something to eat. It only enraged (Reader) further at their inhumane treatment.

"I am not a dog." They whispered to themselves, as though fearful they would forget.

The ship must have been still docked at the trader's colony, because throughout the day gifts for (Reader) were brought into Kirtch's room and office. With each piece of "human" furniture Kirtch would happily rub (Reader's) head, petting them like an animal and waiting for them to show some kind of sign that they enjoyed their new toys. But (Reader) showed no such sign, feeling humiliated as they were treated like a cat instead of an adult human. But they didn't snack away Kirtch's hand, or tell him off, scared of being punished again, so they simply sulked, trying to hide from his gaze so they could disassociate without interruption.

His new pet's attitude was making Kirtch worried. He flipped through the human owning handbook, wondering what he could be doing wrong. They seemed so stressed, and Kirtch felt it was far worse than the normal stress of a new environment. Then Kirtch flipped to an interesting chapter on chemical responses. "If your human has pent up frustrations or stress, a fun way to help them relieve themselves is the manual release of the chemical oxytocin..."

(Reader) hid under a box, hating the irony of their hiding place while they tried to formulate a new escape plan, now knowing that they were in fact still connected to some type of land. Not every alien could be a cruel monster, there had to be some kind of interplanetary animal rights group or space hippies. The box was lifted and removed from (Reader) sat to the side as Kirtch smiled down on them.

"I'm sorry I haven't been playing with you, pet. I've been so busy trying to make this room more comfortable for you that I have been unintentionally neglecting you." He scooped (Reader) up into his arms, and brought them over to his desk, which he had already cleared off. (Reader) nervously glanced around, wondering what was going to happen to them. "But I wanted to help you become acclimated to your new home. And you still feel more comfortable the sooner we ease your stress." He pulled out a box and a couple of strange bottles with syringes.

(Reader) scrambled to get away, but was quickly held down by one hand, being shushed in what was supposed to be a calming manner. One of the strange bottles filled the syringe, making (Reader) thrash harder. Kirtch pulled down their pants, revealing their still sore ass cheeks, and stuck in the needle, injecting them with the unknown liquid. (Reader) cried out as a warm sensation rippled through their body, turning their limbs to jello and making it difficult to breathe.

Kirtch released them, seeing that they could no longer run from him. (Reader) growled, pissed off that their body wouldn't act as they wanted it to. "What did you do to me?!" Their body was rapidly heating, becoming to feverish to hold up.

"If your human has pent up frustrations or stress, a fun way to help them relieve themselves is the manual release of the chemical oxytocin..." Kirtch opened the box next, revealing a strange rubber looking object shaped like a cup on the outside with polyps inside. "I have always wanted a pet human, (Reader), so I was very excited to see you for sale. You are the most attractive like human I've ever seen, and I promise to give you a long, happy life."

The device was placed on (Reader's) crotch, attaching itself to their pubic area without needing to be held on. It came to life, each nub moving on it's own as it rubbed (Reader's) growing erection. The contraption grew against (Reader's) body, enlarging to fill every hole and crevice, pulsating and writhing like a living creature.

"No! It feels gross! Take it off!" (Reader) screamed in fear, watching as their hips bucked against their will and their nipples hardened through their shirt. Tears over how unfair everything was pricked at their eyes. Kirtch lifted (Reader) into the sitting position, rubbing their back soothingly while giving them a better view of the throbbing toy violating them.

"Shh. There's a good pet.." His words felt like taunts to (Reader) as they kept approaching their orgasm.

(Reader's) body was shaking as it begged for release, but (Reader) held strong, trying to rob Kirtch of the satisfaction of seeing them crumble. Another bottle was opened, this one however was poured down (Reader's) throat before they had a chance to cognitively force themselves to close their mouth. The warm liquid was tasteless and odorless, but the effect was like an immediate five shots of vodka, clearing (Reader's) sinuses and plunging them into a drunken stupor.

"What..? What..?" (Reader) couldn't even form their sentence correctly. Their unfocused eyes drifted around confusedly before snapping down to their lower regions, feeling their stomach muscles clench in anticipation.

Kirtch continued to rub their head and chest, gently rubbing their head like a good puppy while he rolled their nipple between his harsh fingers. "Whose my good little pet?"

"Ahh! No.. I'm not a pet.." (Reader's) whimpering voice mewled pathetically, their quivering lips complimenting their sweaty visage. The tingling feeling that had been building was ready to overflow.

"Don't you want to cum, little pet? It's okay. I'll make sure to always keep you happy like this, all you have to do is ask nicely." Kirtch leaned in, amused by his human's drenched thighs soaking his desk, shaking from being denied their orgasm. Behind (Reader's) back, Kirtch held a remote. They would not achieve relief until they played the part of a good little pet.

Drool dripped down (Reader's) chin, unnoticed by their hazy mind. "I-I want to cum."

"What was that?"

"Please let me cum?" They moaned, trying to press themselves deeper into the toy.

A button was pressed outside of (Reader's) peripherals.

Their body rocked violently as (Reader) was finally allowed to achieve their climax. Kirtch continued to stroke their head affectionately, whispering words of praise to his little human as liquid dripped from between the toy and their wet holes.

Kirtch kissed the top of their damp head, still smiling over how adorable (Reader) was. Although he hoped his pet would come to love him and enjoy his company on their own, he was secretly excited to use this toy on his little pet again. He peeled the appliance off, causing (Reader) to twitch sensitively in Kirtch's arms. Their eyes were unfocused and glazed, but Kirtch found that it wasn't a bad look on (Reader).

"Why don't you lay down for a nap, little pet. We'll play some more when you wake up."

[bitternanami]

something i think is really interesting about dungeon meshi is the cast's respective views on food as the story progresses. the way many adventurers get through the dungeon is to eat when they Must, but mostly rely on healing magic to keep going when they're tired or beaten down. death is something you can buy your way out of, here.

having these lower stakes when it comes to running yourself too hard has made a lot of people in this setting kind of devalue food and what it does for you.

im not all the way through the manga yet, but so far i really like how it goes about debunking that mindset.

long post under the cut, cw explicit discussion of disordered eating. textual depiction of unhealthy methods of dealing with it. please be cautious!

it seems like to most folks, food is either a decadent luxury, like when the governor offers mr tance a feast as a show of power and wealth, (although he is the only one who actually eats in that scene as he talks about his ambitions);

[id: the governor and mr. tance talk politics and hierarchies, while the governor eats from a bowl. mr. tance's meal is not visible behind a speech bubble.

"so you believe the sorceror is an elf?" he asks.

"i can't say with absolute certainty," mr. tance replies, "but the spells are not ones dwarves and humans typically use." /end id]

like the painted-royal feasts laios tries to partake in that never actually nourish him...

[id: laios, fresh out of the living painting feast, surprisedly holding his grumbling stomach /end id]

or, to the working class, it's pretty much exclusively fuel. i'm thinking about the scene where kabru's party, ostensibly intended to be our view into how adventuring Typically goes for most people, is shown preparing to go to the dungeon by like. walking up to someone and ordering 'a weeks' worth of rations.' purely functional.

[id: kabru enters a store, and the merchant says "welcome!"

kabru says "i need a week's worth of rations for six, and two days' worth of water."

"sure thing." the merchant then reaches behind him and grabs a large cube-shaped package, wrapped in nondescript cloth and tied in place. it thumps onto the counter in front of them both. /end id]

when kabru hands mickbell his food for the trip, he complains about how heavy it is on his back. it's a necessary liability.

we also see chilchuck, in an early chapter where there isn't much food to go around, grumbling about how he used to be better at not noticing when he was hungry. he's frustrated that he's more attuned to his bodily needs, now that he's starting to fill them with regularity.

[id: chilchuck, the only one awake, sits in his bedroll and glares at the timekeeping-candle burning down in front of him while he listens to his stomach growl. moving to find his canteen and fill himself with water instead, he thinks to himself, "my stomach has gotten weaker. i used to be able to go two days without food." /end id]

(like im not even gonna lie this is a big mood. the healing process is really really annoying)

even laios, early on, working out the logistics of going back for falin, considers his expenses and ultimately the thing he decides to save money on is their food supply. like, even the guy most invested in eating as an experience kind of just assumes he will Figure It Out. its what hes eating, not how hes eating it that matters to him at that point.

[id: marcille looks down at the ingredients they've gathered, the walking mushroom and the scorpion in an unappetizing heap on the ground, and asks laios "so how exactly do we eat them?"

he responds "let's just cook them, like normal." /end id]

but its here that senshi introduces the idea of food as art and as healing. its exciting and its fascinating for laios, getting to taste the creatures hes been reading about and fighting, but i dont think it would ever really help him feel full if not for this.

[id: three panels of laios tasting the scorpion hotpot, looking stunned, and then excitedly telling senshi "delicious!"

senshi matches his energy, asking "isn't it? isn't it?" /end id]

pictured: guy who had resigned himself to kind of just doing his best rediscovers the joy in something tasting really fucking good

what they did last time isnt going to work. falin is gone, and constantly anesthetizing their pain and healing through their weakness is no longer a realistic option for the party. in order to make it through they must all relearn how to eat well, one by one and as a group over and over again, because its either that or nothing.

one of my favorite depictions of this idea thus far is when marcille is seriously low on health and mana, and both of these problems are mitigated by taking care of herself, and trying to get iron and protein

[id: marcille, looking sickly, wakes to laios saying, "marcille, marcille, can you sit up? we've got something nice for you."

she watches senshi grill pieces of kelpie liver on a low fire, while laios ties a bib around her neck. /end id]

and drinking a bunch of dead water spirits. she gets the idea, she's supposed to get in nutrients and it'll help her feel better, but in aiming for the quick, inefficient fix, namely chugging that shit down like she heard it was good to Stay Hydrated and decided that would be the thing that fixes her,

[id: marcille throws back a cup of boiled undine-water, her face red. laios asks, "do you really need to drink it that fast?"

she gasps out "...the magical energy stored in nature spirits is actually quite hard to absorb. even if you drink a lot, the majority of it is excreted without being absorbed," and takes another drink. "that's why i need to drink as much as i can."

laios says weakly "you'll get water poisoning," but marcille only stops when senshi puts a hand on her shoulder and says,

"it's easier to absorb nutrients if ye digest them with food. that's a fundamental rule of nutrition."

marcille says, "senshi..." contemplative

and he holds out a bowl of tentuclus and a thumbs up. "let's get cooking!" /end id]

she doesn't immediately realize the answer is that she needs more than that. she's been working hard. she needs care, and she needs nourishment.

once she gets that, though, she makes her boiled water into a stew, and she works to make that stew as good as she can, and everyone can have some.

because in dungeon meshi, to feed yourself or allow yourself to be fed is treated as performing a kindness for yourself. food is what propels you, but there is also an art and a joy inherent to the process of making it; in the way you feel when you've had enough to eat.

[id: senshi watches as chilchuck and marcille eat and excitedly hash out plans.

"i've got a good feeling about this! maybe it'll work out!" chilchuck says

marcille responds, "well it's easier to feel optimistic on a full stomach!"

senshi smiles, proud. /end id]

^^^ i want to put this image on my wall

when you're working through disordered eating habits, you really do have to keep learning this shit. (in my experience, learning about cooking is one of the best ways to do so.)

i'll have to see if my thesis holds up as i continue, but i think one of the reasons the portrayal here resonates with me so hard is that ryoko kui puts most of her characters at eye level with me on this. they're all working at it, too. the text and i are both commiserating, and encouraging each other, 'have some more, you'll feel better.'