#2. i was gonna fucking go shopping for a few things for prom but now im too nervous to do that

[il-postino-mafia-yuri]

almost got into a car crash while driving home today. and of course, it was my fucking fault

[sparktober]

Sparktober Bingo 2021!

Back for a new generation: Sparktober Bingo!

Instead of coming up with an Atlantis-specific list of prompts, I compiled a bunch of 2021 -tober prompt lists into one google doc here. (Links to original prompt lists are on the google doc.) Add in a list of Atlantis episodes and...

How to play:

Choose a “flavor” from the prompt sets below the cut, then paste it into this fandom bingo card generator.

Adjust your browser size til it looks right and take a screenshot, or use the html script if you’re familiar with using html on tumblr. Tag @sparktober​ if you want us to reblog it so everyone knows you’re playing!

  Sparktober Bingo Rules:

Complete a row/column, corners, or a blackout of your card by November 1, or not! Update as you go.

All fan-works are allowed: art, edits, fic, meta... bonus points to anyone who picks the “sprinkles” flavor and goes full mid-aughts by filling their bingo cards with 100x100 pixel icons.

You are allowed to pull multiple cards until you get one that inspires you, and you can also go through the prompt list of your choice in advance to pull out squicks or things you absolutely won’t write. I recommend not googling unfamiliar words from your work computer.

Use the prompts liberally! Episode titles can be treated as the episode or as generic prompts (e.g. “Epiphany” can be for an episode-related fic or a prompt for an epiphany of your choice).

  Flavor descriptions:

VANILLA: Gen prompt lists from Fictober, Inktober, Trektober Gen, and Trektober Trek.

CHOCOLATE: Zesty prompt lists from Trektober NSFW, Kinktober, and Whumptober. The multiple-prompts-per-day from Kinktober and Whumptober have been broken into individual prompts.

CANDY CORN: Fall / holiday themed prompts from TUA-tober.

SPRINKLES: Atlantis episode list (in order, in case you only want to copy certain seasons), along with characters and a few Atlantis-specific prompts.

TWIST: All of the above! (You can also manually mix and match different flavors, of course.)

Text blocks to copy into the bingo card generator are below the cut. Enjoy!!

VANILLA

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty

  CHOCOLATE

A/B/O; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; Hide & Seek; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Pressure; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Nightmares; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex

  CANDY CORN

Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Ghosts; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Halloween

  SPRINKLES

Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Adrift; Lifeline; Reunion; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

 TWIST

“I need you.”; “You have no proof.”; “I’ve waited for this.”; “Fine, I give up.”; “I’m not saying I told you so…”; “Didn’t we already have this conversation?”; “That could have gone better.”; “This is it, isn’t it?”; “There’s no right side to this.”; “It’s so quiet.”; “I swear, it’s not always like this.”; “You keep me safe.”; “The things you make me do…”; “Your information was wrong.”; “I like that in you.”; “Not this again.”; “I’m with you, you know that.”; “This was not part of the plan.”; “I feel strange.”; “That’s what I’m known for.”; “What did I say?”; “No promises.”; “This time, do what I say.”; “Is this supposed to impress me?”; “Do you know what time it is?”; “I’m sure this has never worked, ever.”; “You could have died!”; “I don’t have to explain myself.”; “Why are we whispering?”; “Don’t ruin this.”; “Take me with you.”; Crystal; Suit; Vessel; Knot; Raven; Spirit; Fan; Watch; Pressure; Pick; Sour; Stuck; Roof; Tick; Helmet; Compass; Collide; Moon; Loop; Sprout; Fuzzy; Open; Leak; Extinct; Splat; Connect; Spark; Crispy; Patch; Slither; Risk; Meet-Cute; Amnesia; Age Difference; Pining; Sick Fic; Fake Relationship; Accidental Meeting; Epistolary; Secret Identity; Historical AU; Nightmares; Monster Hunter; A/B/O; Reunion; Soulmates; At Pride; Angst; Seasons; Fix-It; Coffee Shop; Movie Plot AU; Kid Fic; Actor's Other Crossover Work; OT+; Getting Together; Only One Bed; Pirates; Making Up; Forbidden Relationship; Tattoos; Halloween; Prime Directive; Lower Decks / Background Characters; Away Mission; Ship's Bar; Aliens Made Them Do It; Observation Deck; Crew with Family; Holodeck; Science Crew; Character Survives; Headcanons; Diplomacy; Decontamination; Trek Crossover; Replicator; Worldbuilding; Redshirts; Sex / Love Potion; Medical Crew; Transporters; Medbay; Interspecies Relationship; Mirrorverse; Uniforms; Mutiny; Stranded on a Planet; Rec Room; Academy Era; Second Contact; Command Crew; Off-Duty; Soft; Anonymous Sex; Penetration with Object/s; Sleeping; Intercrural Sex; Restraints; In/Under Water; Group Sex; First Time; Possessive Behavior; Dry Humping / Grinding; Overstimulation; Roleplay; Rimming; Stretching / Fisting; Power Imbalance; Food Play; Fingering; Body Worship; Sex Work; Voyeurism / Exhibitionism; Safewords; Technology; Oral Sex; Omorashi / Wetting; Crying; Underwear / Lingerie; Friends with Benefits; Pain Kink; Dirty Talk; Trick or Treat; All trussed up and nowhere to go; Talking is overrated; Sticks and stones may break my bones...; Trust fall; I've got red in my ledger; Touch and go; My spidey-sense is tingling; Coughing up a lung; Rumors of my death are greatly exaggerated; Oops, I did it again; Just keep swimming; It'll be fun, they said; That's gonna leave a mark; Under pressure; Feed a cold, starve a fever; On a need-to-know basis; Field care 101; The doctor is in; Just a scratch; Lost & found; That's where the blood's supposed to be; They made me do it; You break it, you buy it; One down, two to go; You will go down with this ship; “I'm fine, I prom...”; It's (not) just in your head; All work and no play; Digging your grave; Hurt & Comfort; “You have to let go.”; Garotte; Taunting; “Do you trust me?”; Betrayal; Bruises; Helplessness; Pneumothorax; Presumed Dead; Hospital; Adrift; Torture; “This is gonna suck.”; Crush injuries; Delirium; Recovery; “Please don't move.”; “Now smile for the camera.”; Bitten; Trunk; Bleeding through bandages; Cursed; Auction; Self-induced injuries to escape; Escape; Fallen; Passing out; “Good, you're finally awake.”; “You're still not dead?”; Major character death; Disaster zone; Barbed Wire; Choking; Insults; Taken Hostage; Misunderstanding; Touch Starved; Numbness; Exotic Illness; (Blind) Rage; Flare-Up; Drowning; Made To Watch; Burns; Beaten; Fever Dreams; Scars; Hemorrhage; Doctor Visit; Bleeding; Trapped Under Water; Demon; Ransom; Flashback; Flight; Waterfall; Vertigo; Too Weak To Move; Left For Dead; Trauma; Bound; Gagged; “Who Did This To You?”; Pushed; Broken Nose; Hunger; Blindness; “Definitely Just A Cold”; Tears; Ice Chips; Dehydration; Begging; Cauterization; Force; Bees; Aftermath; Dread; Cpr; Stabbing; Solitary Confinement; Blood-Matted Hair; Obsession; Pursuit; Revenge; Hiding; Trap Door; Collapse; Panic; Overworked; Ghosts; Prisoner; Losing Control; Threats; Caning; Mercy; Forgotten; Head Injury; Screaming; Comfort; Self-Sacrifice; Trapped; Near-Death Experience; Regret; Tragedy; Battlefield; Anxiety; Gore; Petplay; Bimbofication; Panties & Lingerie; Bondage; Double Penetration in 2 Holes; Breeding; Humiliation; NTR; Incest; Emeto; Omorashi; Free Use; Crossdressing; Public; Three (or more) some; Daddy & Mommy; Double Penetration in 1 Hole; Distention & Cockbulge; Xenophilia; Shotgunning; Watersports; Pregnancy; Lactation; Waxplay; Grooming; Human Furniture; Feet; Prostituion; MacroMicro; Spanking; Cockwarming; Glory Hole; Somnophilia; Body Modification; Temperature Play; Leather; Size Difference; Sounding; Stockings; Tentacles; Medical Play; Stripping; Orgasm Denial; Master & slave; Scissoring; Titfucking; Frottage; Knifeplay; Formal Wear; Breathplay; Fisting; Pegging; Scat; Beastiality; Fucking Machine; Tickling; Boot Worship; Bukkake; Collaring; Foodplay; Non or dubcon; Feederism; Sensory Deprivation; Oviposition; Clone & Selfcest; Exhibitionism & Voyeurism; Impact Play; Sadomasochism; Bloodplay; Praise Kink; Body Swap; Sweat; Branding; Massage; Role Reversal; Armpit; Masturbation; Inflation; Sex Toys; Burnplay; Menophilia; Stuck in Wall; Deepthroating & Facesitting; Dacryphilia; Hate Sex; Birthday; Sick Day; Autumn; Candles; Plaid / Flannel; Leaf Piles; Sweaters; Baking; Cinnamon; Pumpkin Spice Latte; Carnival; Movie Night; Candy; Graveyard; Black Cats; Goosebumps; Pumpkin; Party; Monster; Witch; Vampire; Traditions; Magic; Mask; Haunted House; Trick; Treat; Costume; Monster Mash; Rising Part 1; Rising Part 2; Hide and Seek; Thirty-Eight Minutes; Suspicion; Childhood's End; Poisoning the Well; Underground; Home; The Storm; The Eye; The Defiant One; Hot Zone; Sanctuary; Before I Sleep; The Brotherhood; Letters from Pegasus; The Gift; The Siege Part 1; The Siege Part 2; The Siege Part 3; The Intruder; Runner; Duet; Condemned; Trinity; Instinct; Conversion; Aurora; The Lost Boys; The Hive; Epiphany; Critical Mass; Grace Under Pressure; The Tower; The Long Goodbye; Coup d'Etat; Michael; Inferno; Allies; No Man's Land; Misbegotten; Irresistible; Sateda; Progeny; The Real World; Common Ground; McKay and Mrs. Miller; Phantoms; The Return Part 1; The Return Part 2; Echoes; Irresponsible; Tao of Rodney; The Game; The Ark; Sunday; Submersion; Vengeance; First Strike; Lifeline; Doppelganger; Travelers; Tabula Rasa; Missing; The Seer; Miller's Crossing; This Mortal Coil; Be All My Sins Remember'd; Spoils of War; Quarantine; Harmony; Outcast; Trio; Midway; The Kindred Part 1; The Kindred Part 2; The Last Man; Search and Rescue; The Seed; Broken Ties; The Daedalus Variations; Ghost in the Machine; The Shrine; Whispers; The Queen; Tracker; First Contact; The Lost Tribe; Outsiders; Inquisition; The Prodigal; Remnants; Brain Storm; Infection; Identity; Vegas; Enemy at the Gate; Ronon Dex; Teyla Emmagan; John Sheppard; Carson Beckett; Elizabeth Weir; Rodney McKay; Jennifer Keller; Samantha Carter; Aiden Ford; Radek Zelenka; Kate Heightmeyer; Evan Lorne; Laura Cadman; Kolya; Chuck; Peter Grodin; Steven Caldwell; Lantea; Ocean; Ancient(s); Richard Woolsey; Athosians; Daedalus; Wraith; Nanites; Asurans; Genii; DHD; SGC; Stargate; Earth; Antarctica; Ascension

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[razzleberryjam]

This is basically an anecdotal commentary on those posts that are like "you're life isn't over after 21, like the concept of youth is a myth"

Because its so true for people who don't get to be the ages they actually are while growing up. I never got to do things that a lot of 13, 14, 15 year olds were doing during their formative years. I never got to "go to a concert for a band I like that I've been listening to on cds" as an adult I got invited to venues where local bands play as you get drunk, but like it never had that all consuming exhilaration that comes from "going to the xband/Yband z opening act concert that you're so excited for an can scream all the lyrics with ur friend(s)" and like I was raising children, working jobs, trying to survive at that age, even in my late teens and early twenties, I was working over 40 hours a week nonstop trying to live on my own, I finally moved into my own place without roomates at 21 and it's like you feel upset about not getting to have those "cutesy college romance/friendship experience" or whatever you know, but its like actually we never lose those child years, we just were using our adult years before we were adults because we needed them to survive

And its like now that we're stable, and secure - like you don't have to be a teenager to have that teenage giggly fun. Like those aren't gone, they're just waiting for you to be in a safe place so you can enjoy them

Like im a grown adult dating another grown adult, they have a child, a serious job, an ex partner, I have raised a child that is currently with my estranged mother, I am finally working a job that I intend to be at for a long time, living on my own in stability and security, we very much have serious priorities and do professional adult things like budgeting and grocery shopping and meal prep.

But like we have silly dates where we watch YouTube and giggle and awkwardly hold hands and ask if we can kiss each other like WERE GOING TO A FREAKING CONCERT I'm so excited, like we're fucking adults who have long since graduated from high school, BUT WERE GONNA GO TO SEE 3 BANDS PLAYING AND THEYRE LIKE MY FAVORITE BANDS LIKE

LIKE dudes, I had a yellow CD player and among my cd collection were 2 cds from these bands, and a cd I burned w songs from all 3 on it and a few others like im literally exploding with joy. I'm GOING TO A CONCERT like this literally feels like the most exciting date ever like I literally feel like a 16 year old singing first date by blink 182 getting ready for prom. Youth as age is a myth, it's a state of the mind. You can be young at mind and heart no matter how old you are, it's just about pure joy and exhilaration for life. Like when u see those tiktoks of old people that are amazing it's because they are young at mind. They have the youth of joy, rather than the myth that joy is of the youth. So yeah if you're like struggling, especially if ur young. Like this is coming from someone who just I mean damn. I almost killed myself so many times, not just through suicidal attempts, but self destructive or neglectful behavior. I mean I've almost just starved to death from laying in bed for months, that's how little life I had left in me to keep going, but like I'm literally so glad I'm alive rn. Like I am so happy that I haven't killed myself. And even though I'm having a really hard time even now, because with stability comes the work - your brain, all that stuff it bottled up to let you keep going, it's like "hey I've been holding all these heavy bottles of trauma and shit and ur like doing pretty good right. So can u open a couple of these, drink em work through that ?" And it sucks, it hurts and it brings back all that struggle, but you just breathe cause it's going to be okay, you couldn't work through the trauma then but you're an amazing creature who's brain was able to hold onto that and push it down to keep you up, and going, and surviving. Your brain had to choose between reconciling with the trauma or helping you survive cause it just didn't have the resources to do both, but when you keep going and you survive, and you make it to a foothold to stop and rest, drink that bad drink, it hurts and it makes you feel like you're going to fall back down but you just have to hold on to the stability, the safety, the good things you've created and remind yourself that those past wounds hurt, and you never had the chance to heal them then because of how hard and scary everything was, but when you're safe, you are safe, and you are so strong, you can peel those crusty bandaids off, it hurts when it pulls the skin and hair but you are strong and you are safe now, you have built the knowledge to work through and treat those festering infected wounds that you just had to slap a bandaid on to keep from bleeding out. You can clean them out and rebandage them in a way to let them heal, and with consistent treatment and bandage changes, monitoring and taking medication, whatever is gonna be the best way to heal that wound, even if it will always leave a scar, you can do this. And you can have joy and be a kid no matter how old you are - look at me, I'm living my 13 year old fantasy. It's like in turning red, I watched that movie, I loved it but it was almost alienating how different that experience was. I was largely alone spending most of my time with an infant and a drunk old man. I never got to go cry at a concert and sing my favorite cds. But now, I can. And I can feel it, I'm so excited.

[ivyveil]

Love is the Punchline 2

the one where you are drunk and want pizza, but your fingers call Harry instead

A Continuation of LITP (masterlist here)

Your heartbeat demanded to be felt through the entire body, your attention memorized by the motion of right to left from your chest to your fingertips.

They were tapping irregularly on the dining table, as if they instinctively knew the beat of your heart breaking. As it had been all week, truthfully, but since work had ended for the week, your thoughts were dominated by the shadows you had hoped left. Liquor didn’t help, particularly the cup in front of you that sullenly watched you make an idiot of yourself in front of your potted plants.

“The cactus doesn’t care, Mr. Grey Goose,” you reasoned, leaning back on your chair slightly to point at the plant, who seemed generally unimpressed by your antics. “He’s a prick anyways. You care too much what others think, just be you.” You blinked, soulfully, at the cup, trying to mentally send it the emotional strength you were lacking.

The cup said nothing, but you felt the stare go from critical to one of pity, the exact emotion you were drinking alone to avoid. Company would just feel sorry for you, and you didn’t know if you could handle the atmosphere of sympathy. It was your fault, anyway.

If anything, you deserved the harsh disapproval of alcohol. Perhaps you even deserved his silence, though it felt incredibly wrong. You traced a line of dew down the side of a water glass, which hadn’t been depleted after an hour of your Official Weekend Breakdown. It had swooped on you quickly. Your morning had been normal, and at work you even managed to forget about the situation for a few hours. When you got back to your home, you had decided to undergo a quick cleaning.

Your closet was under siege, shoes littering the floor from when you kicked them off without bothering to check they went into proper storage. The Questions You Didn’t Like To Ask had been lurking in the corners of your mind, but you managed to set them off for the most part. Who had the strength to go through all that mental analysis, when the answers couldn’t be properly found? You didn’t know what Harry was feeling, because he didn’t tell you. Nothing more to it.

Then, you saw them. A few shirts folded up in the corner, stacked high and surrounded by a fancy ass designer cologne you had never bought before. You still recognized it, and the bitter pain flooded your senses again. The loopy writing of ‘Styles’ on the pocket confirmed it (as if you need confirmation that the silk Gucci shirts weren’t yours, being stuck in the midst of random 5k shirts you had collected over the years).

The entire situation still confused you, whether it was a proper fall-out or just a miscommunication. How to go about solving it was a mind fuckery, leading down roads of self-criticism you couldn’t deal with at the moment.

Your head swam a bit above the current of drunkness to realize the idea of ordering pizza was remarkably brilliant. However, there were a few flaws that kept you from going straight to your phone.

It involved sitting upright, getting out of your chair, and moving to the front door to then converse with the pizza man, collect the pizza box, hand over the money (which then meant you would need to go get money before reaching the door) before coming back safely inside. Which was a problem, because the ceiling kept becoming the floor, and the floor itself kept swaying.

Your body felt smooth, in a numb, little-bit-over tipsy sort of way. Your day had started the same as they had been for the past week, without any texts from him. It wasn’t entirely unusual for Harry to go a few days without contact, his job being fairly demanding, but the situation at hand made you feel as though it was something more. Something more than not having the time to send a quick text.

Not that you had sent one, either. You had written plenty, enough to possibly draft a book called Regrets and Texts, an Autobiography. But none had made it through the consideration pile to be properly sent.

Sometimes there simply weren’t words to explain yourself. (Which might have been a lie, because you had three perfectly good words, but they did a lousy job at making up for your actions). You groaned, loudly, like an injured cow. Unattractive, and somewhat cathartic, because after you got it out of your system you were able to take another sip from your drink. Your eyes squished together as you got it down, your tongue sticking out in half-disgust and half-instinct.

“Why does it hurt so good?” you groaned, keeping your eyes closed. Your cactus mumbled, “What a mess.” You agreed. Everything echoed of repetition; your daily life was holed by what was missing. You didn’t know what could fill it, you were frustrated by the isolation you had trapped yourself in and the physical borders that kept you from where you wanted to be.

Harry wasn’t everything in your life, not even close. You had a multitude of friends, a caring family, those people at work you talk but never tell anything personal to, and you had a lot of hobbies that typically kept you busy around town. You loved Harry, but you weren’t usually constantly consumed by the thought of him.

Harry wasn’t your air, he never was, but for the past few days you couldn’t fucking breathe.

Essentially, you had only begun to realize that you had collaborated with your demons, your own fears, to keep you away from the possibility of happiness. All for what? The fear of being vulnerable, the fear of opening up and saying, “Come take me as you can find me, Harry, this is all I am and I hope to God it’s enough.”

Instead, all you had to say for yourself was, “Don’t.” All you had to text was, “No.”

All he had to say was that he loved you, and put himself out there. Twice. Which you knew, from having plenty of romance-oriented conversations with him in the past, was a big deal. He wasn’t the type to make a huge move, too wrapped up in having to know it would go perfectly before he even considered making a tiny move. He knew he was phenomenal on stage and with his words, but sometimes as a person, there were doubts.

You shifted in your seat and regretted it immediately. Perhaps it was all in your imagination (who knew, at this point), but the sloshing around in your stomach was enough convincing to make you dead-set on finding some starch to consume, and fast. And honestly, fuck the saltines in your pantry – you needed some good, gooey, cheesy pizza to get through tonight.

Your hands, finally, made their way towards your phone, and you opened up the dial app, your fingers clicking on their own accord.

Sometimes our bodies know how to fix our lives better than we do. After all, that’s how you ended up hanging over the toilet at your senior prom, vomiting for 30 minutes. It had meant you lost your chance at hooking up with the cute guy from your physics course, but later in the year you found out he had been sneaking shady stuff in the boys’ drinks to try and up his chances with some of the girls.

If it hadn’t been for your inability to hold a proper amount of drink, you would’ve most likely victim to that type of absolute, unforgivable douche-baggery. Your body was looking out for you, you reckoned.

Now was a similar moment, it seemed. Your body had leaped at the chance, saw your incapable state and just went with pure instinct to try and straighten out your course.

So, instead of the friendly, middle-aged woman named Andrea at your local pizza shop (who you occasionally went to Thursday Knitting Club with, and who knew more about your emotional life than perhaps even you did) it was a deep, slow, masculine voice.

You froze in your chair, feeling aggressively more sober than moments before.

“Hi, this is Harry. Leave meh a message, I’ll get back to yeh when I can.”

Beep.

Stupefied, you pulled your hand back and looked at the screen. The photo you took of him at a carnival was shining back at you, his face painted like a tiger. It had been a fun few days, especially since a family member of his needed a quick babysitter. Walking around with Harry and a tiny child clasped between the both of you had sent your emotions all over for the next month and a half. You’re pretty sure your friends who had kinda picked up on your thing for Haz had been truly tested by your maternally-driven rants for that portion of your life.

“Noooo,” you groaned, putting your phone back down and propping your elbows on the table. You put your head in your hands, mumbling several profanities. The tiny voice in your mind wondered, simultaneously, why you hadn’t hung up yet. You told the voice to mind its own damn business.

“I’m sorry, Haz, I meant to order Andrea. Or the pizza, not the lady. Like, human trafficking is fucked,” you began, squishing your cheeks between your hands and looking at your fridge. His face was too much to look at, it would be too real. Although his cheeks didn’t have pink, sparkly whiskers in real life, the idea was still prevalent.

You fell silent, toying with various words in your mouth and wondering if you would be able to properly speak this time.

“I’ve been thinking, a lot. Questions I don’t want to ask, about myself. They’re conversations with myself I’ve tried to avoid, at all costs, for years now.” A pause. Then, furthered confession.

“I don’t imagine you’re super interested in them, I don’t think I would be if I were you. I think I just hope you hear this and regret not texting me back. Which sounds super elementary once I’ve said it out loud, I mean, I guess I could’ve texted too. But what was I gonna say?” you drawled, gesturing outwards with an open palm to signify that no, you had nothing to say.

Which was a lie, but you hadn’t had much success in telling the truth as of late.

“You wanna know what’s really funny, Haz?” you stared out into nothing, as if you were truly speaking to him and had a momentary revelation. Completely fabricated, but in the haze of your mind it felt like a brand new concept all over again.

Your cactus was suffering from very deep, very tragic second-hand embarrassment in the corner.

“I wanna capture all your words. They’re so beautiful, you’re like a masterpiece and I just want to be there all the time. I wanna see you at like, 1:42 pm and see how the light goes differently ‘cross your face, as the day goes on. Am I making sense? Like, I want to see your morning hair and your afternoon stubble and how quiet you get at night. I’ve gotten pieces of it, but not in full.”

A moment’s pause, a quiet reflection.

“But that’s not what’s funny,” you admitted, sullenly. Your nails grew more interesting as the confession grew deeper, and you picked at them as you spoke. Your apartment was starkly silent, compared to the rush of noise you felt in your head.

“It’s funny how much I love you, that I love you so much my heart hurts and my eyes can’t help but cry because it’s overwhelming.  I don’t think it’s strange, though, but it’s not like I’m well-equipped with this. So I end up pushing you away. That’s fucked up.”

You hiccuped, a sad smile pulling at the corners of your lips.

“Really fucked,” you agreed with yourself, your fingers twirling around a loose piece of your hair again and again. Your phone didn’t have much to say back, so you pushed onward.

“I love you, so I’m trying to let go. I truly am, Haz, swear it, for you and I guess a little for me? You don’t deserve this, you know,” you gestured at yourself, eyes widening to emphasize your point. 

You two had equally seen each other at some of the lowest times, in the worst situations. It was nothing new to have Harry see you breaking apart, and likewise vice versa. Yet, the idea of needing to be put-together in order to jump into something serious was engraved on your skull, the necessity of not needing someone else before having someone else.

“I can’t ignore my fear forever, that I have some secret I didn’t even know about. I don’t want to see the disappointment in your eyes, like I do in theirs. It would break me, Haz.

“It happens every time, I start off going steady with some guy and it’s great, I’m so happy. And I think maybe I’ve got it wrong, that love is possible for me. That it’s not just for our rom-coms and Ryan Goslings of the world.

“But then I start seeing it. And it’s the worst, you know? ‘Cause I can’t stop it, it’s just a byproduct of being with me. The disillusionment starts in their eyes, it’s when they find me. It’s like a curtain’s been lifted and the guy started tearing down my walls because he thought that’s what he was supposed to do.

“And it turned out, what was behind it wasn’t what he was looking for. Which has me freaked, because how is my true self different from what I’m aware of - I’m not projecting a false image of myself out there, right? I’m just altogether too much, and not enough. And I don’t know how to fix me.”

You traced the condensation of your water, tears glassing up your vision. This was a portion of insecurity you hadn’t fully shown Harry before, mostly because it felt like a massive pity-fest and you knew he would listen with large, puppy eyes and hold you until your chest didn’t feel so tight. Nothing would be solved, though, so it didn’t seem worth mentioning.

“And I don’t want that for us,” you confessed, choking back the urge to properly cry, “I like it when you look at me and I don’t notice any change in your eyes. It’s just you and it’s just me.”

You sniffled, the tears escaping nonetheless and rolling down your cheeks. You smudged them off with hurried hands before they went much further, wanting to fully focus on the task at hand.

“For me, I don’t know if I could’ve, if I could’ve survived seeing us break apart, like that. Dramatic, yeah, but I’m just tryin’ to be honest,” you took a deep breath.

“Yeah, honest. But I suppose we have, now, haven’t we? Because I couldn’t say the right words when it mattered.”

You laughed, a feeling of foolishness washing over your soul and delighting you in the most tragic of ways. How sad, drunkenly calling the boy you loved when you had told him, only a week ago, that he wasn’t worth the risk of going for it? A mess of hypocrisy, you knew you had called your friends’ exes horrible names for doing a lot less.

What was most frustrating, was you clearly could see how unproductive your mind-set was. You knew the proper tips and training for taking care of yourself (the amount of bubbles that had been born in your bathroom the past two days alone could fill the entire sky, you swear) and you recognized your self-worth. It wasn’t a situation of having a devastating wreckage of insecurity to battle, but more like when it was called into question, your ego hesitated a bit too much to claim the title as Worthy.

Letting out a bitter sigh, you put your head on the counter, next to the phone that was recording one of your lowest lows and transferring it in waves to the man who used to help you back up. And all he would do is realize how fortunate he was, to have escaped the mess you felt colliding against your rib cage and into your throat.

Kissing him had felt like you had never kissed anyone, before. He felt assured, comfortable. It had taken a lot to help ease you into ‘romantic’ situations before, but with Haz it felt more like an expression than a deed. More like a physical manifestation of how he made you feel, how you wanted to share that love through your lips. How you wanted to draw his feelings out from his. It was a symphony of simplicity, which was mind-blowing because you had never imagined it could be that good without the nervous laughter and self-conscious puddle of anxiety beforehand.

“I heard you crying,” you murmured, half-unaware you were speaking out loud.

“I heard it, and I didn’t know what to do. And that scared me, maybe even more than how I feel for you in general. Because I always thought I would be able to go and fix things, situations, people...but all I did was listen. All I did was listen,” a lump in your throat began to obstruct the passage of your voice, you knew he could hear the tears coming now, faster “and I hate myself for that. I hate that I couldn’t have been there for you, when I’m trying do to right for the both of us. I just can’t tell anymore, where the lines are. Where I love you as a friend and love you as something more.”

Your voice cracked by the end, a breakage of both spirit and will. Your chest felt tight, your heart had given up long ago, sitting in its cage and chain-smoking until the doomsday. Nothing could be salvaged from this, speaking to him in that state would only prolong the suffering between you both.

“I gotta go, Haz,” you apologized softly. “I need my pizza, and you need to stop listening to me word-vomit everything when it’s frankly too late in the game.”

Your finger hesitated over the red ‘end’ button, unable to bring itself to do it before you could plead for a sober chance to discuss everything.

“Just text me, okay? I don’t want this to change things between us, I want us to look at each other.”

With that, a singular beep signaled the end of your Next Big Regret. Or what would be, when you remembered in the morning.

You groaned again, moving to properly call the pizza shop, being very conscious of the buttons you pressed along the way. Maybe you’d make it a deep crust, you deserved it.

“Thanks, have a nice night,” you grunted, accepting the box and handing over what was most likely an absurd tip for the 10-minutes-late delivery. You didn’t particularly care, half-hoping the karma would impact your life in the future and maybe you would win the lottery. There’s no harm in trying, after all.

When you shuffled back to your dining room, your phone screen had just turned to black again. Racing over, dumping the box on the table, you reached out and snatched up the device quickly, feeling your heart beat back to life and pittering up your throat.

When wouldn’t nerves be the absolute death of you?

One missed call from “H”.

You stared at the notification for a long time, allowing it to register in your psyche before unlocking your phone. Calling him back meant the continuation of a conversation you were, at the time, very pleased to be having one-sided. It took away the possibility of hearing his response in real life, in hearing his breath and knowing the thoughts in the intricate patterns of his sighs and groans.

The drunk part of you urged your fingers to hit ‘call back’ so that any fuck ups could be blamed on the vodka, as opposed to your sober self who would have no where to hide behind. It was quite the conundrum.

Another notification.

This time, Voice Mail from “H”.

You hit “Listen.”

He sounded tired. Really tired.

“Hey. I, I just got a message from yeh. Dunno if you’re awake still and just didn’t wanna answer. Or if yeh fell asleep. Or got pizza, I don’t know, fuck.”

Silence.

An exhausted laugh.

“I truly...God, Y/N, I truly don’t know what to say. Those men were properly insane, to not love every bit of you. I wish I could say y’ could have all of me, but I...”

A lump rose in your throat, eyes filling up quickly with tears. You sat down as he was speaking, covering your eyes with a hand and shaking your head. Hearing his voice again, was just too real. Everything felt overly saturated and dramatic, but that little voice in your head reminded you this was what love was, sometimes. Just on another level from all else, the craziness is just a slice of the experience.

“When you said we wouldn’t be worth it, that shattered me, love. Not love, sorry. Didn’t mean to, slipped.”

He groaned, and you could practically see him in a hotel room somewhere, sitting at the business desk over his phone, rubbing his hands down his face. The desk lamp would be glowing, the only light source in the room.

“Yeh can’t say we’re friends and just friends, and call me with this. Isn’t fair. Not when I’m tryin’ to...to get over you.”

You knew, you knew that. The guilt was already creeping up your lungs.

“I still love yeh. But I can’t love y’ouand know you love me, and not...it’s just….I can’t. ‘M sorry. I also don’t think it’s best we talk over phone, yeah? Just complicates things.”

The message ended.

Your apartment was cloaked in silence, a deep depression. Harry had been so rational, when you were the one fighting for the title. You were utterly confused as to what you were supposed to do now, after such emotional turmoil. Your drunken mind was bitter, mostly at yourself.

Why wasn’t Harry worth fighting for, to you? A day ago, you had realized how much you would’ve sacrificed for him, if given the proper chance, and then it had occurred to you that the chance had come and gone. And for some odd reason, you hadn’t recognized the flashing neon lights until it was too late.

“He still loves me,” you whispered, curling up in the seat and blinking at the wall.

You stayed like that for a few more minutes, mind racing a million miles a second. Eventually, an idea came to mind. One you felt would solve everything, would change the tragedy to something salvageable.

Maybe the flashing lights were still there, ‘late’ was better than ‘never.’ You had previously only wanted Harry to see you for your strengths, for him to see you in radiant light and want nothing but your positives. Perhaps to show more of your weaknesses, it could make the situation more fucking realistic. You huffed, silently telling yourself off for not registering how insufferable the idea of giving up loving Harry was. This was worth it, it moved your soul into something more aligned, closer to the emotion of feeling ‘okay.’ And maybe that’s all you could do, fight to feel more okay. Do the actions that made your heart feel lighter and true, and let the outcomes fall as they may.

The next morning, your bank account had a flight ticket to America charged. The price was an absolute joke, but if that’s what it took to get to Harry, love was going to be the punchline.

----------------------------------------------------

  A/N: Check the masterlist of LITP here, and let me know your thoughts if you would like!  

[leelee10898]

Fast cars and Freedom: Breathin (2/?)

A/N: This is my take on ROD. It takes place 6 years in the future and also jumps back to events of the past. If you would like added to the tag list, let me know!! You can also catch up HERE

Pairings: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Rating: Mature on all counts, young eyes look away.

Word count: 1938

Chapter inspiration:

Summary: Ellie is adjusting to life back on the West Coast. But will a simple a night out be just that?

It had been 2 days since ellie had been back in L.A, she borrowed her dad's car and headed to the local elementary school to enroll Luca. Since it was summer still Luca would start Kindergarten in the fall. They walked into the office of the school, Luca beamed as she looked around. “Mommy, is this where I am going to school?”

“Yes Luca. this is where mommy went to school when I was your age.”

They were greeted by a tall slender woman. “Hello, how may I help you.”

“I am here to enroll my daughter for Kindergarten.” Ellie looked up, her eyes widening as the woman smiled back at her.

“Of course.” she looked down at the papers “Miss Martin… Ellie Martin? Is that you?”

“Ah, Hi Ingrid. Nice to see you again.” Ingrid smiled, Ellie couldn't tell if she was enjoying the fact she clearly got pregnant right out of high school or if she was actually happy to see her. “So good to see you too, and this your daughter Luca?” She looked down at Luca who smiled brightly at her, she looked back at Ellie and she could tell the gears were turning. Ingrid knew she was dating Logan then, she tried hitting on him at brent's party and he shot her down. She also knew that she was seeing colt, that was much clear by the way they couldn't keep their lips or hands off each other at prom.

“Yes, this is Luca. Luca can you say Hello.”

“Hello miss? Um, what is your name?” Luca spoke. “I am Mrs Vandermeer, it is a pleasure to meet you Luca.”

Ingrid went over her registration, noting Lucas test scores well advanced for a 5 year old. “Well, she is definitely bright like her mother.” Ingrid smiled “Everything looks to be in order, It just seems to be missing fathers information.”

Ellie dropped her head “He's not in the picture.” she never felt more embarrassed then she did in that moment. Here she was, high school valedictorian and didn't know who her child's father was.

“I see. That's ok, we have your father as an emergency contact, and Riya Washington. That's nice you guys are still friends.” She couldn't tell if Ingrid was trying to be nice or secretly talking crap to herself,  but she appreciated the bail out. “Yes, Riya and I are still close.” Ellie looked over at the photos on her desk, a small child with blonde hair in every frame and one of her and her husband. “Oh. You married Brent?” Ingrid smiled and held out her hand displaying a ridiculously large rock. “Going on 3 years. We have a son and another little one on the way.” Ellie felt the smallest twinge of jealousy, but she was also really happy for Ingrid.

“Congratulations Ingrid. I am really happy for you.” Ingrid nodded,  a silent agreement they forged at prom 6 years ago looming between them.  She turned to Luca “Well, you miss Luca are officially a kindergarten student.” Luca jumped up “Alright! Yay! Mommy, I'm gonna need to go shopping, I have to look my best for my first day of school.” she turned to Ellie, hands on hips. “But Lulu sweetie, you have a month before school starts.”

“Well I have to have time to plan mommy.”

Ellie wasn't a fashionista, this trait her daughter had reminded her of Logan.  He loved to get dirty working on cars, but he was a pretty boy, and cleaned up nicely.

They made their way back to her dads,  Ellie dropping Luca off so she could run a few more errands and stop in her new office to sign a few papers before heading home. She drove along in her father's older Honda, passing a few places that sparked some memories. She came up to a red light, her attention drawn to the large empty parking lot next to her. Her heart raced as she noticed the chunks of pavement missing from where she flipped her car Setting up the brotherhood .  All the money that school had, and they couldn't fix the parking lot. She made her way through the city one thing she did not miss was all the traffic lights. She awaited the light to turn Green when she felt a sharp jolt come from behind pushing her forward.

“son of a fucking bitch.” she climbed out of her car “Did you just hit me?” her anger took over her. “I am so, sorry.” a young girl got out of the car. “I just got my license a week ago. Man my dads gonna be so mad. Maybe he was right, Driving is Dangerous.”

The girls words hitting her like a ton of bricks, quickly softening her mood.

“Hey. Its ok, accidents happen. Don't let it discourage you from driving.  It is your right to drive, but you have to be aware of your surroundings at all times.” she reassured the girl. “I'll take care of this, you call your dad. I am sure he will just be happy you are ok.”

Ellie called in to inform them of the accident, the police came and took a report. They had to tow the car since it suffered some rear end damage. She pulled out her car calling Riya to pick her up. Once they got back to her dads Riya and Ellie sat around catching up. “Can I just tell you how stupidly excited I am that you are finally home?” Riya squealed. “I know, it kind of feels good to be home to be honest.” Ellie gave her a half chuckle.

“We should go out and celebrate.” She squeezed her hand. “No Riya. I couldn't, what about Luca?” Ellie shook her head. “Ellie, you never take time for yourself. Your dad can keep Luca, come out, let loose.”

“Riya is right sweetheart, go have fun. I got Luca.” Her dad cut in. “ are you sure? I don't want to take advantage of you.” Ellie hesitated.

“Nonsense,  I finally get my girls home, Im making up for lost time.” He turned to Elie who was coloring “What'dya say munchkin, popcorn and movie night with Grampy?”  Luca jumped down from the table. “I say Heck yes!” She winked.

“Luca Rose!” Ellie shrieked.  And that reminded her of colt. “Sorry mommy.”

Riya and Ellie headed out, she found an outfit for the evening and they went back to Riyas to get ready. Riya and Darius bought her parents house after they retired and moved to Florida. She walked in and immediately colts face flashed through her mind. The way he looked at her when she descended the stairs in her pink prom dress. She wondered momentarily what he was up to, before she was pulled from her thoughts.

“The trio is back in action.” Darius shot finger guns at her as he pulled her into a hug. “Good to see you smartie pants.” he grinned. “Good to see you too Dare. Wheres Marcus?”

“Put him to bed. Toddlers are a lot of work.” he grunted. Ellie shook her head in agreement.

“Sorry to break up the reunion, but we need to get her ready to meet a man tonight.” Riya giggled as she pulled her up to the bedroom so they could get ready. “Riya NO, that was not the plan. I don't need a man.” Ellie refused.

“Just… go, in there and get ready.” Riya nudged her into the bathroom.

Ellie curled her hair making loose beach waves. She applied minimal makeup, she was never one to doll herself up. Truth be told she was envious of every girl with flawless makeup, she could never quite master the art of the contour.

She stepped out in a knee length little black dress, that accented all the right parts. Riya let out a low whistle. “whoa mamma, somebody's gonna get lucky tonight.”

“oh god no! I'm not going anywhere near a man. I'm just happy to hang out with my bestie.” she kissed Riya on the cheek, leaving a red lip print. “Ellie, you asshole.” Ellie playfully shoved Riya. “Come on, our uber is here.”

They entered the club, the lights blinding them as they made their way to the bar grabbing some drinks. The couldnt find a table so they stood by the bar, they talked and laughed for a while,  having drink after drink before deciding to head out to the dancefloor. They twirled and moved to the beat, getting lost in the rhythm. For the first time in what felt like forever she felt her worries melt away, she hadn't felt so free, so Alive in a long time. “I gotta pee.” She tapped Riya on the shoulder. She made her way to the bathroom,  passing the VIP area. She could hear girls laughing loudly and flirting, people cheering. She rolled her eyes. Probably some bimbos looking for a hot shot to take one of them home. She made it to the bathroom, or the extremely long line to it.

Her eyes took her to the dance floor, locking on a couple dancing close together, she thought back to they went to Hyrieus.

*******

She danced like nobody was watching spinning around until she was dizzy. Stumbling into Logan. “Whoa. I got you. You dizzy?” She held onto logans strong shoulder “Yeah maybe a little.” she steadied herself noticing a guy checking Toby out. “Hey Toby, that guy over there is totally checking you out.” Toby sauntered over to dance with the stranger. Logan was talking to Ximena now,  Ellie's eyes locked on colts. She walked over grabbing his hand “Dance with me.” She pulled him to the dance floor. “I don't really dance.”

“Neither do I.” she pulled him father into the dance floor, away from the crew.

“I've been waiting to get you alone all day.” He pulled her closer, tilting her face up with one finger. “Is that so? I'm starting to think you like me.”

“I don't like anybody.” He smirked looking in her eyes as his fingertips lightly gripped her hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him in closer.  Their lips inches from each others. “Is Logan watching?”

“Why, do you not want him to see us together?”

“Would it be wrong if I kind of wish he could?” Ellie eyed him “I'm not some shiny object for you two to fight over. I'm just a person.” He stared deep into her brown eyes. “Oh Ellie, you're so much more than that.”

She grinded against him keeping with the beat of the music. “I thought you couldn't dance.”

“i'm just doing what feels good.” she batted her lashes. “Well keep doing what feels good.”

She gripped his hair, pulling his face down to hers. Lips crashing against each other with need. Everything else slipped away, it was as if nobody else was there, just the two of them. They pulled apart breathlessly his lips grazing her ear. “You're my driver forever, you know that right?”

“Promise?”

***********

She was pulled from her thoughts by the woman behind her, tapping her on the shoulder letting her know it was her turn. She left the bathroom, making her way past the vip section again.  She was almost at the bar when she swore she heard someone calling her name, she could barely hear of the loud thumping of the base. Until she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Ellie?” She turned quickly, her heart pounding at the sight in front of her. She swallowed hard “Logan?”

He smiled back at her “Hi troublemaker.”

Tag: @kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater

@daniv2278 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @going-down-downtown @mercyparkcrew @emichelle @annekebbphotography @powdesiree0816 @walkerismychoice @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @zaira-oh-zaira @sweetest-marbear @simsvetements @zaffrenotes @choicelogansbitch

[signals-over-the-air]

12, 13, 14, 22, 23 :)

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

Ummm my friend RS (I’ve talked about him before) was one of my coworkers over the summer and honestly he was just so good to me and we had so much fun

13. How was your birthday this year?

It was pretty good! I had a cupcake for breakfast, went shopping with my mom, got lunch at one of my favorite local bakeries with a family friend, went to dinner at chili’s with my theatre friends from high school, then immediately drove to my absolute best friend’s house (despite the fact that  she had just gotten home from college about 30 min before I came over) and we hung out until past midnight just catching up and hanging out :)

14. Favorite book you read this year?

Okay okay so there was this one book called The Gatekeeper that hit me HARD, its by Jen Lancaster, STRONGLY recommend. It’s based off this song, I strongly recommend giving it a listen!

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

Probably New York City, I didn't go anywhere crazy exotic this year. (unlike 2018 where I literally spent a month in Israel)

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

(this is super super fucking long, I'm sorry!! the words just kept coming it was crazy)

Hey-- I know this year started off super shitty, with a panic attack and nicking yourself 5 times while shaving in the middle of the night. I promise, it will get better. I’m not gonna lie to you; this year is batshit CRAZY. it’s insanely stressful and difficult at a lot of points, but ultimately the payoff is worth it. you’re gonna end up at your dream school, meet a lot of truly amazing people, and find where you really belong.

A few words of advice-- actually study for your precalc final. it’s the reason you almost didn’t graduate. I know mrs evans is a bitch and your old math tutor and you aren't exactly on the best terms, but ask JK or SA, literally anyone to help you. actually do your work and turn it in! you’re not gonna like 2 of your college classes, but guess what? you can just drop them and take classes you're more interested in. trust me, it’ll be worth it.

Also, a week after you get this, you’re going to realize a lot of shitty things about the people you consider your close friends. take my word for it-- get out of there. now. somewhere in the range off 3-4 weeks something will be revealed to you by one of these friends. it’s going to hurt like hell, you’re going to be angry. and frankly, I want to encourage you to flip shit at CB. Think about how he (and the rest of that group) have treated you since about freshman year. I promise you, you don’t want to spend your last moths in [hometown] with them. instead of the corner, start going to the music wing before school. after all, your theatre friends are so, so, so much nicer than those people you call your ‘best friends’, and treat you so much better. they were-- and will be there for you-- when your ‘friends’ never were or would be.

trust your gut-- dad isn’t telling the truth. that text was exactly what you thought it was, and he’s just trying to cover his ass while mom’s trying to make sure you don’t get hurt. if you really think about what he’s said and done the past few years, you’ll figure out the truth about what happened. talk to your sister and mom, figure out a plan on how to tell your brother, and figure out how to tell dad you know. trust me, I know it’s hard and a difficult truth to swallow, but it’s worth figuring it out now rather than later.

you’re gonna find a girl you think will be a great roommate. for once, take mom’s advice-- just get a goddamn single. it’ll save you a shit-ton of trouble towards the end of the year and take a lot of weight off your shoulders.

finally, don’t forget to breathe. this year is HUGE. you go to prom, graduate high school, survive the first semester of the school of your dreams, get a tattoo, and get your first real job. there’s a lot of shitty parts of 2019, but you really just have to appreciate how goddamn revolutionary this year will be for you while acknowledging the bad parts. you did it, whiz. you’re out of there-- out of [hometown], out of SHS, out of the house. mazel tov! we fought our way through it, but for the most part, it was worth it. 

break a leg this year my dude, and remember to take care of yourself during tech week-- maybe try not taking naps in the cat walk and props loft during rehearsal and in between shows, yeah?

sincerely, me.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[shittyfandomimagines]

Pretty Damn Awesome

Word count: 2,697

Fluff, my heart can’t even

GIF creds to owner

I felt so giddy and happy, the rush of excitement flooded my body. I was honestly so nauseous just because of how much energy was building.

“You’re fucking pregnant!” My best friend shakes my arm a little, she came with me to the doctor because I was feeling a little queasy. I would’ve asked Ashton, but he was somewhere in the world doing interviews.

“I am, I’m fucking pregnant.” I started to cry happy tears and she engulfs me in a hug. “Hey, it’s just a baby, don’t be sad.” She rubs my back soothingly. “I know! I’m just so happy, I get to have my own baby and family.” I smile through the tears. “How are you going to tell Ash?” She asks and I shrug. “Well, he flies back tonight and we have dinner with his mom tomorrow night. Should I do it there?” I ask and she nods vigorously. “We need to find something cute to do.” She suggests and I nod along.

“Well, Mrs. Irwin, you are free to go. We looked at your blood work and it seems that your iron is a little low. We suggest some low-dose iron pills if you become anemic it can interfere with how small your baby can be.” The doctor comes back into the room and tells me, he hands me a slip that had the name of the medicine.

“Thank you, we were going by the store anyway.” I smile towards her and she nods. “Congratulations to you, just stop by the front desk to check out.” She shakes my hand before leaving the room. “I’m gonna search Pinterest for some ideas, you get to drive my dear. You’re no longer sick, you’re just pregnant.” My friend jokes and I roll my eyes.

—-

“What if we got like a vinyl record, like an old one that he probably won’t even know, we paint over the title; after that, we can put ‘for the record, I’m pregnant.’ It would be so cute.” Leslie suggests as we pull up to CVS. “Awe, that would be so cute. We could go downtown to that old record shop.” I wanted to cry all over again because I was so happy.

“I don’t know how you’re gonna hold this in all day when Ashton comes home.” She laughs as we get out of the car. “Well, I’ll try my hardest.” I laugh and we walk towards the pharmacy.

“Well, you’re going to need these, for sure.” Leslie puts prenatal vitamins in the basket. “Look for Vitron-C, it’s what he wrote down,” I tell her and we both start scanning the aisle. “Ah, found it!” I say and bend down to grab it.

“Does CVS even sell paint?” She asks and I shrug. “Maybe we can get the kid ones, I mean it’s not like we’re doing a huge project. We only need to paint the circles on both sides.” I tell her and she nods. “Then we can just find a silver sharpie and write on the record.” Leslie insists and I smile. “I’ll go find the kid paint, you find the sharpies, meet back at the candy,” I demand and she walks off.

I wander around until I find the paint, a few sections down I see some baby clothes and my heart quenches. I’ve never been so happy with my life, I mean besides our wedding. I grab the paint and then move to the baby items, I run my hands over it. I shake it off and go towards the candy, I put some m&ms in the basket. Leslie comes up to me and puts a pack of sharpies in the basket. “Let’s go so we can get the record.”

—-

When we both get home from the record shop, we automatically start painting the paper that was covering part it. “Leslie, you can write it because I have horrible handwriting.” I slide the vinyl to her and she sighs.

It gets quiet as she starts to write on both sides. “Do you have any spray paint?” She asks after she finished writing on it. “Probably our in the garage, why?” I ask as she stands up with the cardboard casing for the record. “I’m going to go spray paint this so he can’t see the artist. You stay here because you don’t need to inhale this.” She pats my head like a little kid.

—-

“Well babe, I’ve had so much fun with you and I’m so fucking excited to be an aunt. I love you so much.” She kisses my cheek and I smile. “Thank you, Aunt Leslie, for the win.” I hug her tightly. “Make sure you film his reaction. I’ll see you on the flip side.” She waves as she exits out the front door.

I grab the record and try to find a place to hide it. I go into the garage and hide it in the tiny safe we had in there.

I grab my phone and call my mom, I needed to tell her before I go to the Irwin’s tomorrow.

“Hello?” My mom answers and I smile. “Hey mom, I’ve got some big news for you.” I grin and I hear her gasp, she could tell already. “Let me go put you on the speaker phone with your dad.” I could hear her basically running into the room. “Listen to this.” I hear her demand my dad. “Guys, I’m pregnant. I found out today.” I hear them both scream and gasp. “I’m so happy! I’m going to be a grandma!” My mom sounded like she was crying. “I just wan- hey guys I got to hang up. Ashton is calling me.” I look at his caller ID. “Well, you two need to fly to America so I can see you.” She kindly demands and I smile. “Will do, I love you guys. Bye.” I hang up.

“Hey, babe,” I answer and I could feel his smile. “Hey, I was wondering if you were ever going to pick up.” He jokes and I smile, I was so glad to hear his voice. “Yeah, I was on the phone with my mom, but we were done anyways. What’s up?” I ask and he sighs a little. “Well, I won’t be able to be home until like 2 am, so I was calling to tell you not to wait up. You need your rest and when you wake up, I’ll be there.” He sounded sad but I knew he’d be there as soon as I woke up. “That’s okay baby, I’m not upset. You’re going to be with me for a couple of months and that’s all I need. Plus, we have the meal with your family tomorrow.” I soothe him and he chuckles a little. “You know how to fix everything, don’t you?” He sounded less sad. “It’s what I do, baby I’m going to get off the phone. I’m feeling a little sick so I’m going to go eat. I love you and I’ll see you tomorrow.” I say my goodbyes and he seemed a little worried. We end the call and I rub my belly a little.

I didn’t want to have that pregnancy where I felt like throwing up every day, so eating crackers calmed my pregnancy jitters. I lay on the couch and turn on Cake Boss. My eyes fluttered shut before I could even see what the cake looked like.

When I woke up I felt someone lifting me up, my eyes opened up wide because of the fear. The first thing I saw was Ashton’s sweet smile. “Hey baby, you fell asleep on the couch. I just got home so I thought I’d carry my lovely bride up the stairs.” He tells me as he presses a kiss to my forehead. “Thanks, Ash, I love you.” I snuggle myself into his chest. “Let’s get some pajamas on, you don’t need to sleep in skinny jeans. He changed me into some shorts and one of his shirts. I sigh contently as I lay my head on my pillows. Ash comes to his side and wraps me in his arms. “Night baby.” He kisses my forehead once more before we both fall asleep.

—-

“Morning, sleepyhead.” I hear Ashton’s voice as I come to. “What are you doing up?” I ask and he giggles. “I’ve been up for an hour, it’s 12 baby, you looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you.” He says and he kisses my nose and I grin. “You should have woke me up with you.” I wrap my arm around his neck and he pushes me up against him. His arms were around my waist and I snuggle myself in the crease of his neck.

“I’m so glad you’re home.” I kiss his neck softly and he squeezes me a little tighter. “I’ve missed you so much, I’m surprised you are still married to me. Can’t believe I found someone who wants to wait around for me when I’m busy around the world.” He sighs softly and I lift my head up. “Well I didn’t marry you for your job, I married you because you’re the love of my life. Your job is just a part of you.” I peck his lips lightly.

He pushes me on my back and hovers over me, his eyes were gleaming as he took in the moment. “I’m so fucking in love with you, look at you though. You’re so beautiful and you have this glowing skin. I just want to kiss and hold you all day long.” He lowers himself down and pushes his lips on mine. I wrap my arms around his neck once more, but this time I pull him down to me. He was trying to situate his weight but I didn’t care honestly. I allow his tongue entrance and he was taking dominance.

He moves his kissing down to my neck and I sigh contently. He starts to move to my boobs, but I didn’t realize how much they were hurting, so I push him off gently. “We’re going to your moms in 4 hours, let’s not have any marks that need to be covered.” I lie as he backs up, I knew it was probably due to the pregnancy.

I’ve honestly been lowkey reading pregnancy books for months, it’s just something I wanted to do and we’ve been married for a year. I wanted a baby so bad and now I know a lot of knowledge just from the books. “You’re right, let's go watch some Criminal Minds.” He suggests as he jumps over me, he picks me up and carries me downstairs. “I love you so much,” I whisper quietly, I didn’t know if he heard me or not, but I just knew how much he meant to me.

—-

“Anne!” I giddily yell and hug her, she wraps her arm around me. I feel someone tugging me away and I look back to see Lauren. “There’s my girl,” I say and I give her a hug too. “Can I show you my prom dress and stuff later?” She asks and I nod quickly. “Uh, duh. You know I’m your forever person hype-woman.” I tell her and she smiles softly. “Thanks.” We link arms as we go into the living room. “Can you actually walk outside with me for a moment?” I ask and she seemed worried.

“Ash, we’re going to the car! I forgot my phone out there.” I lie and he looks back at me and nods. He turns back to his little brother showing him videos of his drumming.

“What’s wrong?” She asks as we walk down the sidewalk. I make sure we’re out of ear shot by walking to the car quicker, I open the trunk quickly. I pull out the record and show her what it says, her eyes widen quickly. “You’re kidding! Oh my god, I’m so happy for you.” She hugs me tightly and I wanted to start crying. “I need to get this inside but I don’t know how to bring it in without Ashton knowing,” I say and she ponders for a second. “You go in first and be all lovey-dovey, I’ll sneak in after and put it in my room.” She plans and I nod.

I walk in and find Ash sitting on the recliner. Luckily it was turned away from the door. I sat on his lap and he smirks slightly. “Finally realize I’m the best person in the house?” He asks and I shrug. “I don’t know, I never thought you were the best.” I tease and he fake gasps. “How dare you!” He exclaims as he also fakes a pout.

I see Lauren start to dash towards the stairs. “I love you,” I whisper and kiss his neck softly. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, baby.” He whispers back and I grin. “Supper is ready!” Anne yells and I perk up. “Oof, gotta blast.” I jump up and don’t even wait for Ash, I was already at the dinner table. “I still wonder why I married you.” He jokes under his breath, he sits beside me and grabs my hand.

——

Everyone was finished with supper and most of them were drinking wine, well just Ashton and Anne. “Well, did you not want any? I’ll go get you some.” Ashton says and I shake my head. “One of us has to drive, remember?” I admit, that and I’m freaking pregnant.

“I’m gonna go get a glass of water,” I say and look at Lauren, she picks it up and we both stand. “I could go for some sprite.” She says and we both head towards the kitchen. “I’ll go get it and you make a glass of water. That way if Ashton passes out, we have something to splash on him.” She jokes and I nod, I grab a plastic cup from the cabinet and put water into it.

I go back to the living room and sit by Ashton on the loveseat. Lauren comes in with it in her hand, Ashton notices it when she sits on the floor in front of him. I see her pull out her phone and she sneakily records us. “What’s that Lauren? You got me a welcome home present?” He teases and she shakes her head. “It’s actually one from y/n.” She states and he looks at me expectingly. “Yep, I admit that it was me.” I put my hands up in defense. “You shouldn’t of.” He kisses my cheek before picking it up. “Well, I wasn’t gonna take it back,” I mumble to myself.

He pulls the record out and I think he was so caught up trying to figure out who the artist was. Suddenly, his eyes shift to the words. “For the record,” he turns the record over and his eyes go big, “I’m pregnant.” He ended up yelling it. “You’re pregnant? For real?” He asks and I nod. “Oh my god! I’m a dad!” He says as he tackles me into the couch, but he pulls back shortly after. “Hey, there little Irwin. I love you so much already.” He whispers toward my stomach and I feel tears cloud up.

We’ve been wanting a child for so long and his reaction just summed it up. Lauren turns off her phone and joins our little hug. “I’m gonna be the best aunt.” She says as she pulls away.

Anne stands up with tears in her eyes. “I’m so happy guys, l love you too so much.” We stand up so she can hug us.

She pulls away quickly and I see her demeanor change. “But I fucking knew it! You’ve got the beautiful glow, you ate much more than usual, and you had that little twinkle of happiness in your eyes.” She laughs and I groan, “you know me too well.” I say.

“So, does that mean I get to be an uncle?” Harry catches our attention and we nod. “Awesome.” He says to himself. “Yeah bud, it’s pretty awesome.” Ashton comments, he looks and me and kisses me quickly.

“Pretty damn awesome.”

[iehnsherrs]

prom night.

peter x stark!reader (fluff?)

summary: remember that one spongebob episode when he took pearl to prom? yeah, that’s what this is

warnings: bullying, 1 cuss word, tiny bit of implied smut

❝ that’s how you eat your pizza? you’re so weird parker. ❞

❝ i thought everyone ate their pizza like this? ❞ 

it was prom night, and here you were, eating junk food in expensive outfits instead of dancing the night away with your fellow peers. 

you and peter went to different schools ; but that didn’t stop you guys from hanging out at stark tower. your (adopted) dad, tony stark, had introduced you two when peter first got his ‘internship’. he loved and hated the fact that you guys became attached quickly, you weren’t exactly loved by the kids in your school ; in easier terms, people assumed you were stuck up and snobby because you were the child of a painfully rich man. they tended to judge you or tease you when you forgot your lunch money or something of the sort. your dad just told you that they were jealous and threatened to teach them a lesson if they ever made you upset. although, you really didn’t mind sitting by yourself at lunch or hanging out by the lockers, reading books or playing games on your phone. your dad has offered to let you go to the same school peter went to, but you refused.

but prom was approaching fast, and pepper was making you attend it. you constantly reminded her you didn’t want to go, you had no date and the concept of prom just seemed ridiculous to you. you finally caved in, only because she had already spent a bunch of money on your outfit. pepper nagged at tony to get you a date, tony refused the first few times, responding with:

❝ i’m not ending some random boy to go to prom with my child. ❞

❝ then just ask that parker kid! if you do it, i’ll do that thing you’ve been wanting to do in bed.. ❞ pepper murmured, smirking against tony’s neck.

❝ alright, alright. i’ll call the kid. ❞ 

tony had called peter in two weeks before the prom, taking him shopping for a nice tuxedo that would match your outfit. however, tony gave him 3 rules to keep in mind during the prom. 

1.) no funny business.

2.) i will have the avengers patrolling tonight, no need to swing off and leave my kid on the dance floor alone. 

3.) under no circumstances will you ruin my kid’s prom night. 

peter agreed to all three rules, promising his mentor that he would not ruin this night for you.

prom night had come sooner than expected and here you were, with wanda and pepper, finishing the final touches on your outfit. after everything was set up, you walked downstairs, immediately making eye contact with peter.  

‘ god he looked so handsome, ‘

you shook your head, erasing those thoughts from your mind, walking up to him and taking his hand.

❝  we should get going, i don’t want to keep the limo driver waiting. ❞

❝ there's a limo waiting for us? that’s so cool ❞

you giggled, waving your dad and the rest of the team goodbye, they all waved back before getting ready for their nightly patrol. 

❝ we better be gettin’ paid double for this, ❞ sam grumbled while heading to the changing room.

----

prom had not gone as excepted, peter ended up starting a food fight and ran into the wrong bathroom while trying to clean up. he had accidentally photo bombed people’s prom photos, which resulted in him almost being beaten up. 

you both had been kicked out, walking to the nearest fast food restaurant. you guys had stumbled upon a vintage-looking pizza & fried chicken restaurant. you ordered some pizza and he ordered some large fries and a burger, sitting on opposite sides of the booth waiting for the pizza to be made. 

there was a long silence along with awkward glances at each other before he spoke up.

❝ i-im so sorry. god, mr. stark is gonna kill me when he finds ou- ❞

❝ peter, calm down. i had an amazing time. ❞ 

❝ b-but we got kicked out!

❝ and? i hated all those kids in that fucking gymnasium to begin with. plus, i’m with you, so i’m pretty happy. ❞

peter blushed at the last statement, rubbing the back of his neck.

❝ hey, as my date, you are obligated to share some of your food with me ‘cause i’m broke. ❞

❝ with mr. stark as your dad? that’s funny. ❞

you rolled your eyes, smirking slightly.

❝ fine. i’ll do it, only because i like you. ❞

the awkward silence returned. somehow, you had gained courage to get up and sit on his side. he looked at you, slightly startled. 

❝ did you mean that? ❞

❝ w-what? ❞

❝ the part where you said you liked me. ❞

❝ y-yeah, of course i did! ❞

❝ alright. i have one question. ❞

❝ shoot. ❞

❝ do you like me as a friend, or as something else? ❞

peter immediately broke eye contact, looking at his sparkling shoes. the wave of courage came back once more as you smirked and lifted up his head, leaning in and giving him a soft peck on the lips. you were about to retreat when he grabbed your face a deepened the kiss. you both eventually pulled away, slightly breathless.

❝ i have no idea where that boldness came from,❞ peter laughed breathlessly.

you giggled softly. he gave you a lovesick smile.

❝ so, are you free on saturday night? ❞

❝ yeah, you wanna go on a date? ❞

❝ of course, parker. ❞

a/n: hi! so this sucked and i’m really sorry but this has been in my drafts for a while now and i wanted to just finish it; 

also i tried to keep this gender neutral so if i made any mistakes, please let me know!

[astralgloss]

im a curious meanie so 1-134 muhahaha you get to relive the hell i just went through

etab i haTE U

1: Name

my name is marit lol but please just keep it mar

2: Age

i am 17 but i’ll b 18 in 2 months!!!!

3: 3 Fears

the dark, complete and utter loneliness, and clowns

4: 3 things I love

books, forest fruit tea, the sound of rain

5: 4 turns on

a nice smile that reaches the eyes, a nice smell, having a dog ngl, a soft touch

6: 4 turns off

extreme arrogance, insisting to pay for my meal if i want to pay bc its “what a man should do”, forcing lifestyles on me, not caring about my interests

7: My best friend

she does have tumblr but idk it but hey demi if u ever see this ur the bomb.com

8: Sexual orientation

im bi fam

9: My best first date

my bf and i went to amsterdam to go shopping and he followed me everywhere (even the bookshop even though he hates books) and idk i just love him it was a nice day

10: How tall am I

im 1,65m or 5′4″ but i can and will kick ur ass

11: What do I miss

nothing really??

12: What time was I born

ok so i asked my mom and she said i was born on a tuesday at exactly 12pm but i bet she’s lying

13: Favorite color

yellow!! im basic!!

14: Do I have a crush

well i sure hope so @ boyfriend

15: Favorite quote

to the stars who listen, and the dreams that are answered

16: Favorite place

my bf’s house tbh, specifically his bed

17: Favorite food

pizza, specifically the hot chicken one from ny pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm

nah fam (ofc i do im a little shit)

19: What am I listening to right now

god is a woman by ariana grande

20: First thing I notice in new person

how they look at other people when those people don’t notice it

21: Shoe size

38/39 idk the other size lol sorry 

22: Eye color

its blue but it changes with my mood (oh my god im so sorry im kidding please don’t hate me)

23: Hair color

im a blondie

24: Favorite style of clothing

sth casual but also a bit towards the punkish style, but i also rlly love looking tiny and soft and cute lol

25: Ever done a prank call?

ok so there’s this hotline for kids who have troubles with their parents and families but it was a shit hotline tbh so once i called it up with my friends pretending i was crying and the man on the phone asked me what was wrong so i told him that all my friends had fire type pokemon and i only had grass type pokemon and they kept beating me and i didnt know what to do and then man was so confused it was funny af

27: Meaning behind my URL

idk man i wanted a name that could b easy to remember and i was inspired by ridgeport tbh

28: Favorite movie

the perks of being a wallflower

29: Favorite song

Fav song atm is anything from p!atd's newest album and my fav song of all time is probably train of consequences by megadeth

30: Favorite band

megadeth lol

31: How I feel right now

pretty good but also annoyed bc i have to go to work in half an hour :(

32: Someone I love

my bf

33: My current relationship status

if u guys havent noticed by now im taken

34: My relationship with my parents

p ok

35: Favorite holiday

halloween/christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

I have my ears pierced and thats it lol

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

i rlly want a few bookish related tattoos, like a tiny raven, a little lightning bolt, and the city of velaris and then i also rlly want a sleeve tbh but imma be a teacher and idk if i can :/ about piercings: i rlly want a helix or tragus and maybe get second holes in my hearlobes

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

ok so ive been on tumblr for about 5 years and initially it was bc i was Depressed™ and then about a year ago i found out about simblr and i was hooked

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

tbh i dont even talk to him anymore i dont rlly care about him in any way

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yes bih

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

hes my bf so yea lol

42: When did I last hold hands?

wednesday

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

about 45 minutes bc im lazy and i keep getting distracted

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

nope

45: Where am I right now?

in bed lol

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

either my bf or my best friend

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

depends on where i am

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

mom

49: Am I excited for anything?

tbh moving out but thats gonna take a few more years

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

*insert bf here*

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

every time im at work lol

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

wednesday

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

lol bye

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

nope

55: What is something I disliked about today?

the fact that i have to work a day shift instead of an evening shift

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

my internet friends tbh it’d be cool to meet all the people from my bookish discord or from @booptherat​‘s discord

57: What do I think about most?

what book i should read next

58: What’s my strangest talent?

i can finish a book in about 4 hours

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

not rlly? i hate the whole asmr thing tho ew

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind lol

61: What was the last lie I told?

i dont remember tbh

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

neither lol

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

look im not saying that believing that we’re the only living species in the entire universe is narcissistic, but it is. also dont fuck with ghosts

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yes

65: Do I believe in luck?

hell yes

66: What’s the weather like right now?

idk probably cloudy and windy

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury 

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nah not rlly

69: Do I have any nicknames?

i guess mar?

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

when i was 2 i fell from sth and slammed the corner of my eye onto the corner of a table and i couldve been blind but thank god im not

71: Do I spend money or save it?

both 

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

yup

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

post it notes

74: Favorite animal?

doggg

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

reading lol

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

idk man

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

i gotta feeling by the black eyed peas lol

78: How can you win my heart?

give me a samoyed and a 1000 books

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“a boss ass bitch”

80: What is my favorite word?

fuck?

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

@cubersims​ @imvikai​ @ridgeport​ @cowplant-pizza​ @bloomlet​ @tiptoptab​

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

spend fiddies, pet kitties, hold tiddies

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of lol

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

the power to choose whatever power i want at any moment

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

“do you like working here?”

86: What is my current desktop picture?

its an august background from @emmastudies​

87: Had sex?

yes

88: Bought condoms?

no

89: Gotten pregnant?

no

90: Failed a class?

yes

91: Kissed a boy?

yup, i’ve been kissing my bf for about 2,5 years now lol

92: Kissed a girl?

yup, i’m living the bisexual dream lol

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yes

94: Had job?

yes, im working at a movie theater right now!!

95: Left the house without my wallet?

tbh all the time now that i can pay with my phone

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

yea i used to but that was when i was 12 and i’d like to say that i’ve grown a lot in the past 5 years

97: Had sex in public?

nope

98: Played on a sports team?

yes

99: Smoked weed?

nope, even though i live like 20 minutes away from amsterdam lol

100: Did drugs?

nope

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nope

102: Drank alcohol?

yupppp, i love me some raspberry cider

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nope

104: Been overweight?

nope

105: Been underweight?

nope

106: Been to a wedding?

yup

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

lol all the time tbh

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yup

109: Been outside my home country?

yup, however never outside of europe tho

110: Gotten my heart broken?

a few times

111: Been to a professional sports game?

yess, i saw the dutch female volleyball team once!

112: Broken a bone?

nope

113: Cut myself?

yes

114: Been to prom?

we dont do prom in the netherlands lol

115: Been in airplane?

yes

116: Fly by helicopter?

nope

117: What concerts have I been to?

k3 (only dutchies and belgians remember this), one direction, megadeth, and ed sheeran

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yupp

119: Learned another language?

i mean im from the netherlands and im fluent in english thanks to myself

120: Wore make up?

yuppp

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

yes

122: Had oral sex?

lol yes

123: Dyed my hair?

nope

124: Voted in a presidential election?

not old enough to vote :(

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nope

126: Had a surgery?

nope

127: Met someone famous?

nope

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

nope

129: Peed outside?

a few times lol

130: Been fishing?

nope

131: Helped with charity?

yep

132: Been rejected by a crush?

a few times

133: Broken a mirror?

lol yes

134: What do I want for birthday?

some books, money, cake, more books, makeup

[ericmooreporchkid]

watching THAT 70′S SHOW @ 25.

The first time I went to Point Place was summer 2003.

I was on a family camping trip of sorts with my friend Nick. Our families were pals and we thought it would be a stellar idea to spend humid Iowa July in some “cabins” (which were more Super 8 than log) and do some paddle boating, fishing, smore’s’in’, etc.

The trouble was we were suburb kids. Heat and bugs limited our activity to the sofa and stove Smore’s. Our moms took to the Cabernet and didn’t mind at all. After some frustration with the bloated and dusty TV ‘neath the spiral staircase, our media viewing ended up being some That 70′s Show DVD’s Nick had brought along. 

I didn’t get it at first. Why Nick liked it. We didn’t grow up in the era the show was concerned with. How could he even relate? We had velcro shoes and gushers. But, I wanted to impress him by also finding value in the funky colors and shaggy hair, so I dove in. I did feel a weird false nostalgia almost immediately, mostly because the weird orange-y chairs in the set kitchens and at The Hub closely resembled our cabin furniture and the seating offered by the shoddy grocery shop at the edge of the campground. This, interspersed with my mom’s occasional wine-hued comments about when an outfit was similar to something she’d once worn or when the coffee cups were what her grandma owned, made me urgently want to feel a kinship to this weird replicated era.

And so a few hours in I was pretty in love with all the characters. My embarrassing moments resembled Eric’s, my moron friends resembled Kelso, and all my crushes resembled Jackie and Donna. 

A few years later in middle school, as I began to crank into pubescent Hornville and become informed about sexuality and romance from movies/tv (yikes), I would spend late nights watching re-runs of the show with my younger brother. We had that early teens late night energy and hunger, and it felt weirdly invigorating to watch what high school might be like over microwave nachos. Having a consistent friend group who constantly face dumb sophomoric challenges like drinking ages and curfews and virginities in a pursuit of fighting boredom was exhilarating. 

I went through high school and had a lot of those first experiences (kisses, drinks, slight vandalism), with less cheese and folksiness but pretty similar small-town ennui. Occasionally the show would come up in mid-aughts conversations normally dominated by DEXTER, or Weeds (girls I would date were usually stronger-willed and muscled than me, so I settled into an Eric-ish self-deprecation mode that never felt good but at least felt defined), but I never watched it the way I did in that early teen fuzz, where the concept of sneaking out or drinking seemed so outlandish and attractively alien.

My summer after my first year of college (and the only summer I ever went back home for) was bleak. I had switched from journalism to creative writing, which my parents were not stoked on. I had experienced two relationships that were impactful but not meaningful. I had my first big surges of anxiety, panic attacks, calling friends and having nothing to say. I had a small part in a play and worked a part-time job doorknocking for a friends’ dad’s senate campaign. Having old people shout at me for supporting “the gays” in heat was far from reassuring life fodder. I rewatched all 200 episodes of the show that summer. It was true comfort at that point. True and natural nostalgia. It wasn’t “the 70′s”. It was just high school. It was friends. It was community. And the jokes felt cheesier than I’d remembered, but I excused them, the way you do when your mom ejects a jest you’ve heard a thousand times. The show didn’t ask me what I was going to do next, it just followed the quests of Donna to be taken seriously, of Eric to be respected by his dad, of Fez to be acknowledged as a person and also to “do it.”

Six years later and I find myself peppering in a few episodes amidst the onslaught of streaming content available. It’s odd now. It feels like summer break is done. I’ve grown so much in comedy and comedy has changed so much, on a pure structural level. Some quips that used to spark just flare out immediately, like the end of a sparkler placed in a Diet Dew can. A lot of themes and dialogue are pretty dated and gross, because it’s something made with a late 90′s concept of social structure trying to handle the 70′s style of equality, gender norms, etc. Hyde is not cool and anything remotely sexual from his mouth is dusting considering Danny Masterson’s real life monster behavior (go fuck yourself, Danny). It’s sad knowing Laurie (Lisa Robin Kelly) died from a drug overdose and the lifestyle she has on the show is so slut-shame-based, treats vices like weaknesses. The blacklight of time is on.

On a pure production level, it’s weird knowing more about sets and shooting and Hollywood gunk, which honestly does take a lot of the magic I used to see away.

But the frame and the shots and the haircuts and the love are still there. Things still work. I want to be in the circle. The world and the characters exist with such life. So many scenes are real laughter, the laughter of actors in their early 20′s having fun and being blown away that they’re getting an opportunity to create together. I don’t ever really drip into the later seasons (fuck Randy) except for that last episode when Topher returns. 

I watch that one a lot, actually. It makes me happy that past the prime of the narrative and show, they wanted to end it back on the steps with kids doing nothing and trying to understand the world right before the buttoned-up eighties. The world got uglier and prettier as the show left us, but the basic soul of the material is pure and honest and explorative. The way adolescence is. The way we can sometimes remember being. 

Below are my top five episodes. Hi, Wisconsin.

5. “Hunting” S 2, ep. 13

Eric and the guys go hunting with Red and Bob. This is some of the most stellar Red vs. Eric activity, but it comes to a real emotional truth that surpasses the show’s normal depth when Eric reveals he knows how to shoot animals and he just doesn’t want to. The way he uses an ability Red so aggrandizes to prove its arbitrary importance is such a satisfying kick in the khakis and a nice representation of one generation slightly jolting the other awake. Also, everyone accidentally eats crow. 

4. “Halloween” S 2, ep. 5

The gang breaks into their old elementary school and reads their permanent records. The relatable curiosity every kid has over what the fuck a permanent record means also turns into a beautiful bottle episode of “how did we all meet?” I always end up tracking the spider webs of my own friendships post-view.

3. “The Career Day” S1 ep. 18 

Seeing the spectrum of Point Place’s job market is pure fun. It’s such a good characterization episode (Kelso telling his brainy dad he’s just gonna write down that “he’s a farmer” always kills me) and it rocks that moment many of us go through where we look at what our parents do and think what the fuck am I gonna do? Certainly not that. 

2. “Parents Find Out” S2 ep. 19

The self-explanatory title was not only satisfying because of the parental reactions, but because there are a few episodes between when Eric and Donna lose the V and when it actually matters. You know when you do something you think your parents are gonna kill you for and then you realize they can’t really do anything? Every time I watch this I still feel like Red is going to shoot Eric. I am happy Pavlovian here. 

1. “Dine and Dash” S3 ep. 15

An amazing modernized “And Then They Were None” wherein we see each character slowly avoid the bill. Of course its dumb teenage rebellion, but there’s also a very human quality to each of the characters turning on each other. It’s carnival stress.

(below: My friend Adam and I at a gas station before prom in 2009, complete with 70′s locks).

[adella-the-idyllic]

Promposal Blessings / Dramahawk

Summary: Jim texts Adella to get her opinion on promposing.

@thathawkinsboy / @ariel-the-rebellious

Jim: hey adella Jim: sorry to bother you Jim: do you got a second to talk?

Adella: it’s not a bother, Jimothy Adella: I have too many seconds, so please, take a few off my hands

Jim: haha fair enough Jim: so i have sort of a dumb question for you. its about a surprise for ariel and i kinda wanted to run it by someone else?

Adella: aaaaand naturally you had to run it by the best, the brightest, and her favorite big sister? Adella: Great, great! Adella: let’s hear it

Jim: naturally lol Jim: okay so prom is coming up Jim: im not even sure if ariel wants to go? or if shed want to go w her friends or do the whole date thing? Jim: like has she said anything? i know school has been hell so im not sure

Adella: I’m sure she’d love to go, actually Adella: Ariel’s always talked about prom, every year the rest of us went Adella: right now...I think having something normal to look forward to would be nice Adella: she hasn’t talked about it as much as she would be had everything been normal, no, but she’s mentioned it coming soon Adella: when I offered to take her dress shopping, she didn’t immediately shove off the idea

Jim: i can work with not immediately shoving off, no problem Jim: second question, and excuse my language Jim: how the fuck do english proms work

Adella: uhhhhh...it’s Adella: prom Adella: normal Adella: the motherfuck did america do to PROM

Jim: man i dont know! i didnt go to my prom! im flying blind here

Adella: Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiim Adella: Okay uhhhh read this Buzzfeed article idk https://www.buzzfeed.com/tabathaleggett/american-movie-proms-vs-british-real-life-proms?utm_term=.nlO14GoYy8#.rwa0DQ8bvO Adella: or this? https://www.borngifted.co.uk/baby-gifts/resource/School-Prom-UK Adella: I’ll try and dig up pictures from my prom. Adella: S. PromS. I went three years, dated older boys

Jim: you are a lifesaver holy shit Jim: and you did? Jim [2 mins later]: how did that go? the dating older guys thing, i mean.

Adella: I mean I’m single and going to die alone now, so obvs not wONDERFULLY but Adella: so my first prom, I was 16 and was dating an 18 year old student, 17/18, and 18/19 so like it doesn’t cOUNT really I guess Adella: But if we’re talking post secondary older men, ahhhhh, well actually I like it Adella: Men in their 30s are my s h i t Adella: Dated a 41 year old in London, that was nice, actually

Jim: sweet Jim: thats reassuring Jim: um Jim: so yeah, prom then Jim: is it too early to ask now? or should i wait? Jim: is there anything ariel mentioned wanting for prom?

Adella: nownownownownownownownownownownow Adella: do it Now Adella: mmm nothing specific! You two should talk about that together

Jim: okay, awesome, i can probably have everything put together by the end of the week Jim: a scavenger hunt to get to the final 'will you go to prom with me’ isnt too lame, right?

Adella: it's the perfect amount of lame for you two dorks Adella: and it's also cute, fuck you for being more cute and thoughtful than my past 8 relationships combined

Jim: im gonna go ahead and take that as a compliment, so thank you lol Jim: seriously tho, thank you. i know school's been stressing her out and i just wanna do something nice for her Jim: and you know, for talking to me

Adella: literally anytime, I'm always round for making Ariel smile

[billiejoeshappytrail]

do all 140 questions you coward i dare you ;)

jfigkgkgkg okay guys, never do this to gee because she will do it back eventually, ,,,,, 3 Fears? Never being able to get top surgery, relapsing, bad things happening to Green Day 3 things I love? Green Day, my cat, malachite 2 turns on? Oh yikes,,, i'm tryna make this blog more kid friendly but i'm pretty sure you already know my weird kinks 2 turns off? Being right wing, being a posh twatMy best friend? I don't have one.. maybe my cat lmao Sexual orientation? PanHow tall am I? 5'6"What do I miss right now? Honestly? Uni. I know that sounds lame af but I just want it to be Monday alreadyFavourite colour? I have a lot of them! I'm an artist Do I have a crush? *exhausted noises*Favourite place? I really don't know right now What am I listening to right now? Nothing Shoe size? UK 6Eye colour ? BlueHair colour? PinkMeaning behind my URL; 😂😂😂Favourite song; IdkFavourite band; Green Day How I feel right now; Okay Someone I love; Bilky My current relationship status; Uh My relationship with my parents; Weird but not badFavourite season; SummerTattoos and piercing i have; lion tattoo on my chest, pink panther in my left elbow ditch, a dotwork crown on my left middle finger, a lot of stick and pokes, septum piercing, snakebites, earlobes, tongue Tattoos and piercing i want; Too many tattoos to explain, eyebrow piercing, nose piercingThe reasons I joined Tumblr; Fuck knows 😂Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? ! !! ! !!! I sometimes get a good morning from Gee on kik Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? My phone is dead but I think probably not?? How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Uh, about five minutes unless I'm going full punk Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Jgkhkh nope Where am I right now? My roomDo I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Depends on the setting Do I live with my Mom and Dad? I live with my mum Am I excited for anything? ! ! !! ! !!!!! ! ! ! Tomorrow Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Sounds cishet but okHow often do I wear a fake smile? Never, if i'm sad of pissed off yr gonna know about it If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Billie Joe Armstrong What do I think about most? Mad shit, food, weed, music, intrusive bpd crapDo I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? BehindWhat was the last lie I told? I don't know, I try not to lieDo I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? I'm sort of uncomfortable with both but like, the select few people I'll call usually skype me so I guess video chat Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts; dunno, aliens; fuck yea Do I believe in magic? I want toDo I believe in luck? What's there to believe in? Sometimes you have it and sometimes you don't but it exists like just by virtue of people being lucky sometimes What’s the weather like right now? GreyWhat was the last book I’ve read? Idk manDo I have any nicknames? Ya i'm itchy or itch to most of my online friends Do I spend money or save it? Idk man, I'm poor so idk Can I touch my nose with a tounge? NahFavourite animal? LionWhat was I doing last night at 12 AM? Maybe sleeping?What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Any Green Day song What is my favorite word? I don't have oneMy top 5 blogs on tumblr; yo i'm not going that I have way too manyIf the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Feed the fucking poor you heathens Do I have any relatives in jail? Not that I know ofWhat is my current desktop picture? I don't really use a computer but my tablet one is billie joe Had sex? Ya Bought condoms? NahGotten pregnant? Nope Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yeah it was kinda not as good as it sounds Had job? Sort of Smoked weed? Ye Smoked cigarettes? YeDrank alcohol? YeAm I a vegetarian/vegan? Veggie ✌Been overweight? YeBeen underweight? Probably not Gotten my heart broken? YeBeen to prom? YeBeen in airplane? YeLearned another language? Not fluently but I can sort of speak German like, more than the average brit can speak of their Fremdsprache :0 Wore make up? YeoDyed my hair? YepHad a surgery? Not yet Met someone famous? STZA REPLIED TO MY MESSAGE LAST NIGHT HFGJG also i met jeremy corbyn a few times, eddie izzard a few times and i have a wild story abt how I almost stabbed him Stalked someone on a social network? Ye Been fishing? Nah Been rejected by a crush? YeWhat do I want for birthday? It just happened Do I like my handwriting? I guess Where do I want to live when older? Everywhere Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? YeWhat I’m really bad at? Being neurotypical What my greatest achievments are? Not dying The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me; dude in my high school found out my mum had cancer and he said i deserved for her to die What I’d do if I won in a lottery; pay people's tuition, pay people's medical bills, buy either avocado toast or a house, I haven't decided yet What do I like about myself; Lots of stuff :0 My closest Tumblr friend; The goons :0 Any question you’d like? Are you outgoing or shy? Both at different times What kind of people are you attracted to? It depends, I don't really have a type Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? God I hope not, I never want that ever again for a really long time Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Depends who with Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? RoryWhat does the most recent text that you sent say? IdkWhat are your 5 favorite songs right now? RVIVR - Resilient Bastard, Armstrongs - If There Was Ever A Time, Riverdales - Rehabilitated, New York Dolls - Personality Crisis, Green Day - The Grouch Do you like it when people play with your hair? Ye, unless I just did my mohawk in which case they can get the fuck away from me Do you think there is life on other planets? YeDo you like bubble baths? Sometimes Do you like your neighbors? Yeah!!! My next door neighbour is this lady called Lily and she encouraged me to try roller derby Where would you like to travel? A lot of places Favorite part of your daily routine? Taking my sertraline with a coffee maybe but not because it's exciting, just because it's the only thing I do every day without fail.What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? TiddiesWhat do you do when you wake up? Feed my cat Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I like it how it isDo you ever want to get married? Fuck no If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Nah Would you rather live without TV or music? TV Have you ever liked someone and never told them? YeahWhat are your favorite stores to shop in? Uh, alternative places, every city has one, Afflecks, Camden etc. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? NahDo you smile at strangers? YeahHave you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? NahEver wished you were someone else? YeahFavourite makeup brand? IdkLast thing you ate? Lasagne Ever won a competition? For what? I won a few art competitions as a kid Ever been in love? YesFacebook or Twitter? Facebook Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr Are you watching tv right now? Nah What colour are your towels? Red Favourite ice cream flavour? Cookie dough or salted caramel First person you talked to today? IdkLast person you talked to today? ??? Gee ??Name a person you hate? Theresa fucking MayName a person you love? Jeremy fucking Corbyn Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Oh god, so many people Do you tan a lot? NahHave any pets? My baby boy ! !! ! My gorgeous little lion, my Corbyn, orange boy, fav boy Do you type fast? Sort of Do you regret anything from your past? Abel lmao Ever broken someone’s heart? NahHave you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YeaIs cheating ever okay? NahDo you believe in true love? SureWhat your zodiac sign? Virgo Do you believe in ghosts? Idk Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? "Annika shrugged. She was worried about the goldfish"

[jeffpackswasyes]

Answer them all

1. 3 Fears - open spaces, getting kidnapped and tortured, uhh spiders but spiders are kinda dope now

2. 3 Things I love - Music, girls, animals/nature

3. 2 Turn ons - Lip biting, being wanted in return

4. 2 Turn offs - Manipulative behavior, arrogance

5. My best friend - Regan for sure

6. Sexual Orientation - Straight

7. How tall am I? - Like 6ft tall

8. What do I miss right now - My friend Scott who moved away :(

9. Favorite color - Teal

10. Do I have a crush - I don’t think so

11. Favorite place - My apartment

12. What am I listening to right now? - Modest Mouse is on right now (The Lonesome Crowded West is a fantastic album) 

13. Shoe Size - 11

14. Eye Color - Green

15. Hair Color - idk is that like brown or blonde or what. dirty blonde maybe

16. Meaning behind my URL - Dumb pun that I would tell my friend Jeff every time Jetpacks Was Yes! came on

17. Favorite Song - Lmao there are way too many songs

18. Favorite Band - The Dear Hunter!!!

19. How I feel right now - Tired and lazy and mopey

20. Someone I love - my bff regan is an angel

21. My current relationship status - Single as heck

22. My relationship with my parents - My dad and I are on pretty good terms, don’t care for my mom

23. Favorite Season - Autumn of course

24. Tattoos and piercings I have - NONE cause I’m a broke bitch

25. Tattoos and piercings I want - I could go on and on about the tattoos I want all over my body but I’m not gonna do that here. I only want one piercing, a nose ring. 

26. The reasons I joined tumblr - There is cool shit on here and it’s good to browse when you are high 

27. Do I ever get good morning texts or good night texts? - sort of? I only text one person

28. Have I kissed the last person I texted? No but I’m workin on it

29. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? - Like 6 minutes

30. Have you shaved your legs in the past 3 days? - Nope

31. Where am I right now? - In my bedroom

32. Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? - When my roommate isn’t home I play my music loud af

33. Do I live with my mom and dad? - No

34. Am I excited for anything? - Damn, not really

35. Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? - Definitely 

36. How often do I wear a fake smile? - Often 

37. If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? - Maybe Casey Crescenzo I really don’t know

38. What do I think about most? - Probably music

39. Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? - Definitely behind it

40. What was the last lie I told? - “Nah everything is cool dad” 

41. Do I prefer talking on the phone, or video chat? - Phone

42. Do I believe in ghosts? Aliens? - Aliens exist, and I’m convinced ghosts or some sort of spirit entity is out there

43. Do I believe in magic? - Somewhat yes actually, still on the fence about it

44. Do I believe in luck? - I like to think that the universe looks out for some people, whether or not that is “luck”, I’m not sure

45. What’s the weather like right now? - It’s like 85 degrees and sunny out

46. What was the last book I read? - I’m in the middle of Game of Thrones right now and yes, it is fantastic

47. Do I have any nicknames? - I go by James, my middle name so I guess that counts

48. Do I spend money or save it? - I need to be a little more careful with my money I spend so much

49. Can I touch my nose with a tounge? - I’m sure I can touch it with A tongue, but not my tongue

50. Favorite animal? - Damn this a tough one. A sloth? A bear? Deer? Mantis Shrimp? 

51. What was I doing last night at 12 am? Smoking and watching Bojack Horseman

52. What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? - Mr Blue Sky by ELO, no contest

53. What is my favorite word? - Honestly fuck this question 

54. My top 5 blogs on tumblr - They are all good I can’t rate them

55. If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? - uhh please stop killing each other 

56. Do I have any relatives in jail? - Nope not that I know of

57. What is my current desktop background? - Overwatch shit

58. Had sex? - Nope

59. Bought condoms? - Who needs em! /s

60. Gotten pregnant? - God I hope not

61. Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? - Yes

62. Had a job? - Yes

63. Smoked weed? - Too much, gotta chill on it 

64. Smoked cigarettes? - Yeah

65. Drank Alcohol? - Yes

66. Am I vegetarian/vegan? - Nope

67. Been overweight? - No I’m skinny af

68. Been underweight? - Definitely

69. Gotten my heart broken? - I wouldn’t classify it as heartbreak

70. Been to prom? - Nah, not my thing

71. Been in an airplane? - Nope :( 

72. Learned another language? - Not fluently

73. Wore make up? - I have not, but wouldn’t be opposed

74. Dyed my hair? - Yep, I really wanna die it again

75. Had a surgery? - Nope, I’ve had stitches though

76. Met someone famous? - Never

77. Stalked someone on social media? - Nope

78. Been fishing? - A couple of times

79. Been rejected by a crush? - I didn’t have a lot of crushes so no

80. What do I want for my birthday? - A livable income 

81. Do I like my handwriting? - Yeah, I don’t hate it I guess

82. Where do I want to live when I’m older? - Probably somewhere in Europe

83. Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing something bad? - I got caught doing LSD a few years ago

84. What I’m really bad at? - I’m not the best with my words, bad writer and bad conversationalist

85. What my greatest achievements are - ...uhhh Sean and I wrote an album last summer and it was pretty dope but it never got rerecorded and released so does that even count

86. The meanest thing somebody has ever said to you? - I don’t remember off the top of my head

87. What I’d do if I won the lottery - Go visit Regan and get us out of our shitty towns 

88. What do I like about myself? - My hair, my hands

89. My closest tumblr friend  - damn that is a good question

90. Any question you’d like? - What, i only answer the questions fuck this 

91. Are you outgoing or shy? - Definitely shy

92. What kind of people are you attracted to? - The kind that I can click with and talk to and have fun with 

93. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? - Nope

94. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? - Nah, it is a very interesting subject

95. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? - Last night with my friend Cody about this life being a simulation 

96. What does the most recent text you sent say? - “right, fuck you james”

97. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? - Damn gimme a few minutes to look 

Cowboy Dan - Modest Mouse

The Old Haunt - The Dear Hunter

None Shall Pass - Aesop Rock

Absolomb - Periphery 

Open Up - Dispatch 

98. Do you like it when people play with your hair? - Yes I love it

99. Do you think there is life on other planets? - There’s gotta be 

100. Do you like bubble baths? - I haven’t taken a bubble bath in years so idk

101. Do you like your neighbors? - Most of them

102. Where would you like to travel? - I wanna travel everything but that is vague and generic so I’ll say Innsbruck, Austria. The name means Inn by the River and it is a cute magical looking town

103. Favorite part of your daily routine? - I don’t have a daily routine but I play overwatch everyday so i”m gonna say it’s that

104. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? - Probably my skinny fucking legs 

105. What do you when you wake up? - Lately I’ve been reading a chapter and smoking a bowl  

106. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? - I’ve never really thought about it tbh

107. Do you ever want to get married? - I mean not particularly but if my partner wants to get married then yeah sure 

108. Is your hair long enough for a ponytail? - Yep

109. Would you rather live without TV or music? - TV, duh

110. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? - Probably

111. What are your favorite stores to shop in? - There’s a bunch of thrift stores in this town so those are always pretty neat

112. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? - Yes

113. Do you smile at strangers? - Sometimes

114. Have you done anything recently that you hope no one finds about? - Nope, I’m clean

115. Ever wished you were someone else? - All the time

116. Favorite makeup brand? - Sephora, BH Cosmestics, idrk

117. Last thing you ate? - Cereal 

118. Ever won a competition? - Nope

119. Ever been in love? - Yeah

120. Facebook or Twitter? - Neither, but you can follow my insta @jeffpackswasyes ;)

121. Twitter or Tumblr? - Definitely  tumblr

122. Are you watching TV right now? - Nope

123. What color are your towels? - Mostly white, I have a blue one though

124. Favorite ice cream flavor? - Vanilla, cookies and cream

125. First person you talked to today? - Regan or Cody

126. Last person you talked to today? - Regan

127. Name a person you hate? - The guy who made the kid put his laptop in the oven on twitch. 

128. Name a person you love? - My bff Regan!!

129. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? - Nah

130. Do you tan a lot? - Nope

131. Have any pets? - None of my own, none in my apartment

132. Do you type fast? - Yes

133. Do you regret anything from your past? - I try to let go of any regrets, still trying to let go of some. But I’ll get there

134. Ever broken someone’s heart? - Yes

135. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt? - Lmao yeah 

136. Is cheating ever okay? - No, but I do think that it is forgivable, depending on the situation of course.

137. Do you believe in true love? - What is TRUE love? Love is just love, we don’t understand it

138. What’s your zodiac sign? - Cancer

139. Do you believe in ghosts? - This question is on here twice, very suspicious

140. Get the closest book to you and open it page 42. What is the first line? - Egyptian Wheels and Dimensional Travel  

[leelee10898]

Fast cars & Freedom: Sit next to me (8/?) Part 1

Pairing: Logan x Ellie, Colt x Ellie

Summary: Logan and Ellie talk, the test is taken, and someone spills the beans.... literally.

Rating: Mature... sex.. yep...

A/N: So this will be a 2 parter, just way to much to get out in 1 post... enjoy!! If you would like added to the tag list, let me know.. catch up HERE

Song inspiration:

Ellie sat in her office, it was Wednesday and she still hadn't heard from Logan. “knock knock.” a voice came at her door. “Oh hi Mr mann- Eli.” she looked up to see her boss standing in the doorway. “Have you had any luck getting those statements from Mr Rider?” he walked in sitting in front of her desk.

The statements shit! She internally scolded herself. She had been so caught up in her personal life drama she let her work slip, that ended today. “I am meeting with Logan to get them.” A smile spread across Elias's face “Excellent. Keep up the good work.”

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in.  This standoff with Logan ended now. She picked up her phone and rattled off a text.

“I know you are pissed at me, but this is not a personal call. Unless you want to find a new Accountant, we need to meet TODAY.”

A few minutes later her phone vibrated, a response from Logan. “ 1pm. i'll send the address.” a few seconds later another text with an address came through. She looked at the clock. She had about half an hour until the meeting and with traffic and the distance she needed to go now. She switched on her out of office messages and took off to the location Logan sent her.

She pulled up to a large gated house. The gate opened and she drove around front parking. Before she could knock on the door Logan opened it up motioning for her to come in.

“Wow, is this your house?” she marveled at the open floor plan. There wasn't much to it in all honesty.  Some furniture, a large TV. A stocked bar area and some framed car art.

“It's better than a box.” he chuckled. They sat on the couch, Ellie getting right down to the professional side of the business she had to attend. Logan having everything she needed ready.

They sat in an awkward silence before Ellie broke it. “Logan, im sorry. I know you're mad at me.”

“I'm not mad at you Ellie. Well, not anymore. I'm upset. I knew you had feelings for him, I knew it when I caught you two together.”

Ellies mind took her back to the night she knew she was in way to deep.

****

“Were gonna get caught Colt.” Ellie giggled as he pressed his body against hers on the couch.  “Nobody is here, everyone went out on a job. and pop is at a meeting. They'll be gone for hours.” his hand slide up to unbutton her jeans. He lifted himself up pulling the jeans down with him, leaving her in just her bra and panties. His lips came down hard on hers as she completely lost herself in the kiss. Her hands frantically pawing at his fully clothed body. “Less. Of. This.” she pulled on his shirt and breathed out between heated kisses. The sides of his lips tugged up into a sinister smirk, she wanted him as bad as he wanted her.

He pulled his shit over his head, tossing it across the room. She stopped for a minute, running her hands down his hard chest, before he stood pulling every last piece of clothing from his body. Ellie propped herself up on her elbow, her eyes widening at the sight of him, suddenly very aware of what she committed herself to. “See something you like?” she bit her lip nodding. In an instant he was on her again. Peppering playful kisses on her neck, down the valley of her breast. His hand reached around, effortlessly unfastening her bra, tossing it aside. His lips found her pink buds, as he flicked his tongue, capturing one in his mouth, before moving onto the next. He placed feather light kisses down her stomach, settling on her hips. Her heartbeat racing in anticipation as his strong hands grasped her thighs spreading them apart. He lowered his head kissing and sucking the inside of her thighs, “I want to taste you Ellie.” the vibration of his voice sending a pleasant jolt to her core. “Yes.” A low growl escaped him as he settled between her legs.

He flattened his tongue swiping it between her slick folds. He let let out an appreciative moan as his tongue swirled around the bundle of nerves. She sucked in a sharp breath as her head flew back against the cushion. he looked up between his lashes watching her chest rise and fall, faster and faster as her moans became louder and louder.  He slipped a two fingers into her wanting center, slowly pumping them in and out. Her back arching at the welcomed intrusion. Her legs began to shake, he knew she was close, he curled his fingers slightly reaching the perfect spot as she came undone, a slew of curses falling from her lips.

Satisfied he pulled back and grinned at her as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He sat up.  Ellie watching him, though lust blown eyes. She climbed onto his lap, her lips crashing against his in a heated kiss. “I want you colt.” she moaned against his lips. “Mmmm,  lay down Ellie.” she shook her head. “No. I want to be the driver.” she grinded her hips against him. He gripped his stiff length, slowly pumping it as she slowly lowered herself down, gasping out at how he filled her.

She allowed herself to adjust a moment before rocking against him. He threw his head back at the sensation, a deep moan escaping him. He lifted his head,  his lust blown eyes boring into her. “You're my driver forever, remember that. Now drive baby.” He gripped her hips guiding her down onto him faster and faster. She bounced hard against him  as she moaned out. “Fuck, yes. colt.”

The sound of his name falling from her lips drove him wild, he bucked frantically against her. his hand slipping down rubbing tight circles against her aching clit. That was all it took for her to come completely undone. She leaned against his chest, nails digging into his strong shoulders as she screamed his name, forcing his own release.

She laid against his chest for a moment, he tracked lazy circles against her bare skin.  “We should probably get dressed.” she sighed standing up. “A sin if i ever heard one, but you're probably right.��� they retrieved their clothes, dressing quickly. Colt pulled her against him “You're incredible Ellie.” She his face down, capturing his lips in a sensual kiss. “Let's go get some food. I'm starving.” Colt grabbed his jacket “Only if I get to drive.” She winked, standing on her tiptoes to kiss him again.

“What the fuck is this?” They heard, pulling apart  quickly. Both turning to see Logan standing there. “Do you have a problem pretty boy?” Colt taunted.

“Yeah. I do.  You're fucking making out with my girl.” Logan snapped, shoving Colt.

Colt coming back bumping his chest. “Last I checked she wasn't anyone's girl.”

“Colt! Logan! Stop this.” Her pleas going unanswered.  Colts smug grin setting Logan off as his fist connected with his jaw. Colt lunged forward tackling logan to the ground as the two rolled around exchanging blows.

“Stop it. Stop it guys. Help.” Ellie screamed, finally toby and ximena came running in, followed by Kaneko. “Stop it at once.” He commanded, his booming voice causing both to freeze instantly. Ellie took off running both scrambling to run after her. She climbed up the ladder onto the roof. How did things get so complicated.

********

“Ellie? Ellie?” Logan called out, pulling her back to the present. “Sorry, I was just thinking about something.” she told him about the night of prom, how they were freaked out about the plan and if things went south. How they travelled to vegas on a whim and getting caught up in all the what ifs, they married. She had thought Colt had filed for an annulment after they had a blow up and he left. Only to find out he never did. Logan sat there in silence,  absorbing all of the information.

“Well, I kinda get why you didn't say anything, but. I wish I didn't hear it from Colt.” he sighed.

“I know, im sorry Logan. But as a peace offering, my dad and I are throwing a 4th of July bbq. If you don't have plans we would love for you to come.” Logan smiled as they stood up walking towards the door. “I think I can manage that.” he pulled her in for a hug, she rested her head against his chest, breathing in his scent. “Are we good?” he pulled gently stroked her hair, “were good.”

That Friday the three of them, with Luca walked into the lab. Ellie check in, grabbing clipboards for all to fill out their information. Luca sat in the chair, the smell of the sterile environment making her nervous. “You ok Luca?” Logan lowered his head “I don't like Doctors offices, they give needles.” Her voice a whisper.  “Its ok, you're not going to get a needle.” he gently squeezed her little hand. “You promise?” “I promise. If you want, I will hold your hand if you get scared, ok?” Luca nodded her head, squeezing logans hand.

They waited a few minutes before being ushered into the back. Colt went first, followed by Luca. She hesitated getting in the seat. “Uncle Logie, fan you hold my hand?” Logan smiled at her taking her tiny hand in his large one. She paused a moment turning to Colt. “Colt, can you hold me please?” Ellie swore she felt her heart explode in that moment, as colt sat down in the seat, his arms wrapped around her, Luca leaned back against him while Logan held onto her hand.

The tech informed them the results could take up to 6 weeks as the lab was backed up.

The four of them grabbed dinner and went school shopping with Luca. Colt and Logan refusing to let Ellie pay for a thing.

Ellie spent the next week preparing for the 4th of July cookout. Everyone was coming, she was excited for Luca to meet the old crew. Riya and Darius showed up first. Darius setting up the pack n play in the backyard for Marcus. Frank had been on the grill all morning while Ellie worked on the food inside.  The doorbell rang and Frank came barreling through the house. “I got it. I got it.”

He answered the door and a petite brunette stood there. Frank encouraged the woman inside, walking up to Ellie. Ellie looked at the woman, something about her looked awful familiar. “Ellie, I want you to meet my girlfriend Sally. Sally this is my daughter Ellie.”

“Elliez it is so good to finally meet you.  You're dad talks about you so much.” Ellie giggled “I hope not to much.  It's really nice to meet you Sally.” she continued to stare at the woman, swearing she knew her from somewhere.  “Sally, I don't mean to stare but, Have we met before? I swear you look so familiar.”

“I don't think so hun, not unless you've been to lucky's diner in San Francisco.” Ellie shook her head “Nope, can't say I have. But anyway, come on out. Dads finishing up on the grill, the rest of the guest will be here soon.”

The doorbell rang and in walked Ximena, Toby and Colt. “Colt!” Luca came running into his arms, colt picking her up giving her a hug “Hey squirt.” he sat her down “Grampy got me a pool, come see it.” She grabbed his hand leading him through the house.  “Hey Toby, Hey X.” she noticed toby shifting on both feet. “Go ahead, you can see the pool too.” “thanks ellie.” Ximena shook her head handing her a tray of pretzel salad. “You know he has done nothing but talk about Luca non stop.”

“He has text me and called daily as well.” Ellie watched Luca splash colt, a smile playing on her lips. “How's logan been with it?”

“The same as Colt. She's quite taken with the both of them.” Ximena gave her an understanding squeeze. Logan, Mona and Stacie were the last to arrive. Ellie looked at the two “Did you guys come together?” Logan shook his head. “No, I pulled up and Mona did too, Stacie was walking to the door.”

Logan and colt stayed inside helping frank gather all the food. Ellie sat With Riya on one of the picnic tables. She leaned in close, dropping her voice so only she could hear. “Hey, do you think Darnell could lend me his services, cheap?” Riya looked at her confused “ohh you mean for the custody stuff. I was wondering what you needed a lawyer for.”

“No, I need to file for divorce.” Riya chuckled thinking she was joking,  the serious look on her face told her otherwise. “You're serious? When did you get married? Who did you marry?”

Ellie shushed her “Keep it down. 6 years ago. Colt and i got married in Vegas.” Riyas eyes went wide.

“You Married COLT in vegas?” She shouted, silencing the entire party. “What?” Her dad stood on the deck dropping an entire tin pan of coleslaw. Logan and Colt stood frozen behind him.

Sally came running up “Frank are you ok?” Logans eyes widened, he dropped the tin pan of baked beans onto the deck as well

“Mom?”

Tag: @kennaxval @hopefulmoonobject @crookedslimecreatorpasta @be-still-my-aching-heart @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @riseandshinelittleblossom @cocomaxley @bobasheebaby @ownworldresident @cordoniaqueensworld @indiacater @blackcatkita @darley1101

ROD

@daniv2278 @brightpinkpeppercorn @lovehugsandcandy @going-down-downtown @mercyparkcrew @emichelle @annekebbphotography @powdesiree0816 @walkerismychoice @yesivefallenpreytothechoicestrap @zaira-oh-zaira @sweetest-marbear @zaffrenotes @simsvetements @zaffrenotes @professorortegasstudent @akrenich @ifyouseekheart @client-327 @choicelogansbitch @choicesarehard @paisleylovergirl @itskismetbb @itsmarleen @rhischoicesfanfics @distinguishedsaladoperawinner @iplaydrake @coffeebeandragon @jasidu2

[artificialqueens]

I Remember You Differently (Trixya) - Chapter 2 - goth

One more high school lesbian AU for the good people of this blog. It’s the end of senior year, prom season, and Trixie thought she was finally over her crush on Katya from freshman year drama class. She was wrong. Kim is over it before it even starts.

A/N: Thank you so much guys for the support. I mapped out this entire fic, epilogue included, which should make writing it easier and faster. In this installment, Trixie is roasted by family and friends alike. In the next, we’ll get started on Trixya flirting, and I’ll be introducing some Sashea into the mix soon.

Trixie is halfway through her house’s side door, when she hears someone bitching and whining.

The high-pitch whines can only belong to her younger sister. Farrah. Trixie wishes it was because the poor girl has a fever, but if anything, being sick has toned her down.

“Hey losers. I’m home.”

Farrah, swathed in a blanket like a baby, turns around in her chair. She frowns at Trixie, who’s setting her pink backpack on the couch. “Why do you even go to school? You only go for a couple hours.”

Trixie walks into the kitchen and musses up Farrah’s hair. Their oldest sister, Milk, is preparing dinner. “Farrah,” Milk starts, not looking up from chopping lettuce, “Once you’re as smart as Trixie, then you can spend two hours doing makeup for the three hours you spend at school.”

Farrah’s busy soothing out her hair, when Trixie sits next to her, she dodges Trixie’s half-hearted attempts to muss it up more. Trixie rolls her eyes. “Milk, please. You wear as much as me.”

Farrah pulls her hands out of her hair, and touches her cheeks. “My teacher told me I wear too much highlighter.”

“Oh my God,” Trixie muffles a laugh with her hand. “Farrah, everyone wears too much highlighter freshman year. Tell her to stuff it.”

Milk stops chopping lettuce and looks over at Trixie, who freezes. She knows exactly where this is going. Milk, along with the rest of the family, has been asking the same question for a month.

“How’s the prom development going, sis?”

“It’s… Going.” Her voice is squeaky. She avoids the curious look from Milk, only to fall right into Farrah’s. Fuck.

“Did a girl finally ask you out? Did you finally ask a girl out?” The excitement pours out of her so rapidly, so overwhelmingly, Trixie can’t get a single word in. “I knew you were lying about going in groups. Nobody cool would do that.”

Trixie plants a hand over her younger sister’s mouth. Sometimes, Trixie imagines Farrah never learning how to speak. Or at least whine. “Oh my God, Farrah.”

Milk leans over the counter, her eyes matching the excitement in Farrah’s. Neither of them are adopted, that’s for sure. “Wait, is Farrah actually onto something?”

Farrah wriggles out of Trixie’s grasp and pouts. “Hey!”

“That wasn’t an insult, honey,” Milk props a fist under her chin and taps Trixie’s arm with her finger. “Who is she?”

“I have a project to work on. Bye.”

……

Trixie blows on the fresh-painted nails of her left hand, and slowly sprawls across her bed. She’s careful not to mess up the pink paint, nor the pink sheets. All the while precariously balancing her phone between shoulder and cheek. She’s multi-talented.

And multi-worried.

Trixie’s over-analyzed every second of the exchange between her and Katya, and has made Kim Chi listen to all of it. Deservedly. Bailing rather than being a wing woman is a dick move. Trixie should know, she’s guilty of doing it as often as Kim.

It’s why they bicker like sisters. One of the reasons why, anyway. There’s far too many to list.

“Trixie, you’re just repeating yourself. Can I go? I have to catch up on—”

“Nobody else knows,” She hears Kim sigh. Trixie scoffs. “Who else am I going to talk to? I’d sound crazy.”

Trixie pauses, and rolls over on the bed. She lets her face sink into her pillow. “I am crazy.”

“I can’t understand you.”

“Oh, so my Kim Chi impression is improving.”

“Fuck you, Trixie.”

“Huh. Interesting, you understood that.”

Trixie smiles into her pillow and props herself up, feeling slightly better. Back and forth deadpanning with Kim always improves her mood. The contentment starts to dwindle however, the silence on the other end becoming deafening.

“Did that actually hurt—“

“I’m not the only one who knows.”

Alarms go off in Trixie’s head. Loud, blaring ones. Her heart stops for the second time today. She has about fifty questions to ask, long and detailed, yet all she can muster is a four letter word.

“What?”

“Freshman year. After first semester ended, the girls threw a party to chill you out. You were so depressed.”

“Oh… My God. Don’t tell me I—“

“You did. So drunk. You told Trannika how bad you wanted to suck Katya’s dick. You pretty much repeated the same thing to Shea, Pearl, and anyone else who was within earshot.”

Trixie’s baby pink phone, moments ago pressed so hard against Trixie’s ear the skin turned red, lies at the foot of her bed. On speaker phone. Both hands cover her face. She groans.

“Everyone knows, Trixie.”

“Yeah, uh, I got that part!”

“I told them to never say anything.”

Trixie is unable to voice any emotion she has, all of which are bad, until what Kim last said registers. She breathes in deep. Relaxes her closed eyes.

“Thank you. You’re a good person. I love you.”

“You’re welcome. There’s plenty of other things to make fun of you for.”

“You’re a fucking bitch. I hate you.”

Kim giggles. A small smile spreads, slow, across Trixie’s face. She couldn’t ask for a better best friend.

“We’ll have to get another fucking reservation somewhere else. For the second time.” Kim pauses. “Make sure Katya matches your dress.”

Trixie cringes, and crawls closer to her phone. “Slight problem.”

“What?” It’s more of a statement than a question. Trixie cringes again.

“Um, she’s Maleficent and I’m Sleeping Beauty, for a start.”

“I don’t care, Trixie. We planned this all out a month ago. You and Shea were going to match. I expect the same with your new girlfriend.”

Already the ‘girlfriend’ shit has begun. She’s dreading talking to the other girls about this.

“She’s not—”

“Oh, right. Freshman year. Your old girlfriend, then?”

“Suck a dick. I’m hanging up.”

Kim giggles again. It’s nice, Trixie thinks. Kim sounds even more stressed than Trixie, whose world crumbled, just a little bit, today. She can hear Kim shifting around in bed, clicking on her laptop. Trixie just knows she’s going to fall asleep watching anime.

She’s seen it happen enough times.

“Tomorrow you’re helping me get a new reservation. And at some point this week, you’re taking Katya out shopping.”

“Alright. Love you. Goodnight, Kim.”

“Love you too. Goodnight, Trixie.”

……

Four years of never hearing a single word about Katya, courtesy of her sisterly bond with Kim Chi, goes down the drain in one night. Post revelation phone call, Trixie’s been harassed by each and every one of her friends.

All at once, too. The girls gathered together for the last weekend before prom week. The last weekend of stress, as Trixie and Kim managed to get an updated reservation. What was supposed to be a fun two days of drinking at Fame’s house quickly turned into a roast.

William and Trannika are the worst culprits.

“Okay, but her name is Ketchup, though.”

“Trixie wants to eat her hotdog.”

William and Trannika, respectively.

“Oh my God.” Trixie leans back against the couch, pressing the cool plastic of a pink solo cup against her forehead. She, at the least, looks fabulous while her love life is being torn to shreds.

“Katya’s hot,” Trannika starts again, leaning her cheek upon Trixie’s shoulder. “I’ve seen her drink her own blood. I’m so into that.”

“Kim, I’m blaming you for this.”

“I prevented this from happening for four years.”

“Kim blue-balled us, comedically.” William offers, “But Trixie blue-balled Katya, romantically.”

“Trixie asks me for chapstick once a week,” Trannika starts, and presses a kiss onto Trixie’s shoulder. “I just didn’t realize it was for her dry pussy.” Trixie shoves her off.

“I need another drink.” Trixie pushes herself up off the couch and wanders into Fame’s kitchen. They’ve had so many parties here, she’s not sure she’d find the fridge if she was sober. Bent over, searching for another light beer, she grumbles when someone taps her shoulder.

“You good?”

Trixie pops up, nearly banging her head on the fridge shelf. She spins around, surprised it’s Shea looking concerned, rather than William trying to grab her ass.

“Totally.”

Shea frowns. “I’m serious. I’m not gonna lie, those bitches are making me laugh so hard, but if they’re actually hurting your feelings—“

“Shea, it’s fine. Really, it’s fine. I mean, yeah, I’ve had a crush on her for four years,” Trixie shrugs. “So what. I’m not obsessed. I have a life. I forget Katya exists ninety-nine percent of the time.”

She can’t find the right words to say. She just says all of them.

“It’s been like, off and on. That kind of crush. Junior year, I almost completely forgot about her. I see her every now and then. Handful of times over the course of four years. Those are the times when I think about wanting to kiss her, that’s it. You know?”

“I know.”

“There’s been other girls. It’s not like, oh, she’s the one! I mean, maybe? We’ll see. I guess, but how lame is that? If I kiss her at my high school prom and she’s the love of my life. Gross.”

Trixie can’t stop talking.

“I just think she’s cute. And nice, and funny. And so on. I’m not in love. If I was, then yeah, I’d be offended, but I’d also be a crazy woman.”

Shea’s silent for a few moments. Trixie considers stepping backwards into the open fridge, shutting the door, and never coming back out.

“You need some rest.”

Trixie sighs, looking down into her empty cup, and nods. “Yeah. I think you’re right.”

[simonewrites-moved]

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (I was tagged by nobody, I just like to do these bc they make me think/concentrate and I desperately need that.)

LAST:

1. Drink: Coke Zero 2. Phone call: my mom 3. Text message: my mom 4. Song you listened to: Pony - Ginuwine, Versace On The Floor - Bruno Mars 5. Time you cried: reading a sad bucky fic probably

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: nah 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: not really 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: if we’re talking relationship-wise, yeah, but nobody has died 10. Been depressed: oh sweetie............. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, but i did take a really bad hit off of a bong while also tipsy and got the worst fucking spins

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 

12. forest green: reminds me of myself and grounds me, plus i look bomb as hell in it (junior prom dress was forest green) 13. chocolate brown: literally the prettiest color, i don’t give a fuck. so gorgeous, whether it’s eyes or skin or hair. (thank you, tom holland, for allowing me to rediscover my love for brown eyes. god bless england.) 14. gold: just.... it shimmers and sparkles and catches light and i love it

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yeet 16. Fallen out of love: nah i haven’t been in love with anyone 17. Laughed until you cried: yes, thankfully 18. Found out someone was talking about you: not recently 20. Found out who your friends are: mmmmm not really there’s been no crazy drama as far as friends go 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: not in the last year, no

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 85-90% maybe 23. Do you have any pets: yes, three kitties 24. Do you want to change your name: not really, except my last name 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: had cake, i stayed home and did nothing i think 26. What time do you wake up: whom knows. when i go back for senior year its gonna be 5:45 :)))))))))) 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: reading or writing, i don’t remember 28. Name something you can’t wait for: senior year to kick into gear  29. When was the last time you saw your mom?: like 20 minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: make it so that i don’t have so many problems concentrating and focusing on the things that matter 31. What are you listening to right now: slow hands - niall horan, blow - beyoncé 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my utter inability to stop vomiting out information about the mcu 34. Most visited website: tumblr, ao3, amazon 35. Mole/s: yup, tons all over my shoulders and upper arms, a few scattered all over my legs, and one on my pubic mound (probably tmi but honestly whatever) 36. Mark/s: two on my face from where a dog bit me, a few on my left forearm, one on the thumb side of my right wrist. do tattoos count? i have one on my right forearm if so. 37. Childhood dream: childhood dream was def to be a pop star or a doctor 38. Hair color: dark brown (golden strands in the summer sometimes tho) 39. Long or short hair: almost to the my waist (probably to my waist, but it’s curly so idk) 40. Do you have a crush on someone: other than celebs, no 41. What do you like about yourself: i like my determination and ability to spout information for hours if someone wants to know about something 42. Piercings: two in each ear, my left nostril 43. Blood type: A+ 44. Nicknames?: sim, simmy, sim1 45. Relationship status: single (not for lack of wishing but i also don’t know if i have room in my heart for some incredibly disappointing teenage boy) 46. Zodiac: aries w/strong taurus influences  47. Pronouns: she/they 48. Favorite TV Show: mcfreakin uhhhhhh..... futurama, the great british bakeoff, the gay and wondrous life of caleb gallo, house hunters 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: never 52. Hair dyed in different color: thought about it a lot, have never done it 53. Sport: i used to dance in elementary school 55. Vacation: all throughout europe and africa 56. Pair of trainers: i actually don’t have any right now, i have to buy some when i go shopping next saturday

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: nothing atm 58. Drinking: nothing 59. I’m about to: watch more futurama and then go to bed 62. Want: to be able to pay for college 63. Get married: yes please 64. Career: english/french teacher <3 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs 66. Lips or eyes: both? they’re so important  67. Shorter or taller: if we talking about men, i enjoy a man taller than me, but not suuuuper tall 68. Older or younger: i don’t care tbh 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: ARMS 71. Sensitive or loud: a nice mixture pls 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship definitely 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: i’m more hesitant, i need a troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: yes, the only kind i like 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: nope 77. Turned someone down: yup 78. Sex on the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: idk  80. Had your heart broken: yes 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes, several times 83. Fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84: Yourself: depends on the situation 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: not love, love is built over time. definitely attraction and infatuation tho.  87. Santa Claus: not anymore but i honestly like pretending, it makes me feel like a little kid. 88. Kiss on the first date: heck yeah, if we’re vibing

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: nicole, cindy 91. Eye color: dark green 92. Favorite movie: the cap movies, moana, spiderman: homecoming, ferris bueller’s day off

p.s. nobody asked and i don’t have anyone to tag so :)))))