#AND TY FOR THE ASK!!

[saturnniidae]

do you think (trans!)kukui has a picture of himself as a teenager just being fucking pumped as hell because he got his first binder

YESS!!! I like to think he has a very cherished childhood photo album documenting milestones in his transition as well as just in general!! (like iirc the canon picture of him as a kid with his first z-crystal?)

Also since he doesn't really have like. Canon? Parents, I'd like to think regardless of whatever his home situation was he spent a lot of time with Hala who is the person that got him his first binder.

Their (though strained later on due to what happened with Guzma) mentor and apprentice relationship is really sweet to me especially the fact it goes back to when he was just a little kid watching Hala's battles! I wish it was explored more in canon though

[1ore]

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

WROW. Well. This is probably not a very generalizable experience, BUT! I'll try!

When I was in my teens, I very much hinged my personhood and identity on being an artist. It made sense to me at the time, because drawing and making up stories was my first language, and it’s how I relate with/understand the world around me. But I was also going through it with an unstable home life and a cocktail of trauma and undiagnosed brainstrange. So when I was not feeling very good about my art, or when I was struggling to create (Which Was A Lot) it was existential and extremely distressing. This was especially true of my writing, which I didn't start taking seriously until my teens.

I would like to say that challenging negative self-talk and reframing my relationship with art “fixed” that, but probably 70% of it was removing the knife that is having a shitty and unstable home life. But I think that was still true for the remaining 30%-- I had to learn to let myself exist as a human being first and foremost, and I had to love that, and be really comfortable with that.

Another way of looking at it... I don't like to frame it in this extractive kind of way, but if art is my first language, then I am going to run out of things to talk about if I'm "just" an artist. I have to be a funny little hairless ape who is alive on planet earth and experiencing the full spectrum of the human experience to be compelled enough to make something, and to want to communicate it to other human beings. Or even just to myself. (but again, being a human being is not a means to an end, i.e. being an artist. searching for inspiration like its a resource to be extracted does not yield good, honest, or happy work for me, personally.)

Getting rid of the concept of writers block/artists block was important to me, too. Some people seem to put out huge volumes of work thru sheer self-discipline, but that person isn’t me. At least-- I am not happy when I do that, and I don't think any story is worth that kind of self-flagellation. I think this feeds into being neurodiverse, in that I am most creative when I am doing a lot of different things at once-- so I chip away at 2974828 different longterm projects in relatively constant but sporadic bursts. everything gets done at some point, just. it could take anywhere from 2 weeks to several years.

So, Uh. The TL;DR answer to the original question: if I'm getting to the point of frustration with a piece of art/myself/my ability/my inability, then it is usually a sign that I am slipping into old habits. Either I am not letting myself be a human being (in which I need to "give up," i.e. step away from the art and participate in the world around me) or I am not letting myself create the things that I actually want to create in the moment (in which I need to "give up," i.e. switch gears and work on the thing that is giving me joy-- within ability, i have the luxury to do this as someone who doesn't make coin off her art.)

(FWIW: I have zero sense of object permanency, so whenever this happens, there is always that pang of "oh god what if that's the Last Time I ever open that document. What if I never make art again." But I don't think that's ever been true of a project that I legitimately wanted to see to completion. There are times when that is true, though. IME, it's usually because I outgrew a story, and it's no longer the story I need to be telling right now.)

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[soranker]

begging u to pls post the I think we’re gonna have to EAT THIS GUY w wolfwood and laios here so i can reblog it 🙏

[emahriel]

I am losing my mind. source: x

[chiptrillino]

Trick or treat ! 🎃

TREAT!

Well just a wip so maybe a treat?

[nolongerdaily-pussinboots]

How many followers you got so far?

Tbh one of tumblr's best features is the fact that followers are unknown, so I personally would rather not say that haha ^^'

[nyancrimew]

So people once were calling me a terf, persecuting me just because I held some different opinion. After taking a break from social media, I've did some thinking, and I've came to accept this label as a part of who I am. I identify, inside and out, within the fibers if my soul, as a terf, and anyone who objects to this is being criticalphobic. After a while though, being so enshrined with terfness started exposing to me the many issues and hypocrisies terfs have, which I started rejecting. I just remembered I left my pizza in the oven, its burning uh

Eventually I realized that by rejecting trans people from society, I was arbitrarily drawing a line between what a person participating in society could be, completely discounting all the possible ways our biology I've so long revered could betray the labels our ancestors placed on ourselves. I stopped excluding trans people and started exclusively rejecting normal feminists, making me a ferf, until I walked outside and accidently talked to a guy and found they were normal. With no one familiar to belong to, I gave in and joined feminists and became a rfet.

Anyways do you want to hear about the time I almost drowned in a public water fountain

and the oscar for "best supporting anonymous bait" goes to....... whatever the fuck this is

[suntails]

happy birthday silver!!

[ash-and-starlight]

one day, in a thousand years

[reds-skull]

Could we possibly get Soap yelling at a recruit for trying to steal Ghosts mask, with Ghost in the background like that’s my mans.

Or something you want to do for shits and gigs because you can and it’s fun

Sorry this took a while, I kinda made a mini comic because, as you said, I can and it's fun lol

Thank you for the ask! This was quite fun to make haha

[terristre]

Okay if requests are open can I kindly request malleus and grim silliness?

Also hi hello I love your art sm :3 it's so silly and cute :33

best ive got is some cocomelon shit

[batbabydamian]

hihi! i’m the anon that asked what your damijon looked like! AND THEY WERE SO CUTE OMGMG, but i’d also like to ask what your super sons damijon looks like as well? 🥹 tyty 🙏

hii thank you for that ask, and i'm glad you liked it!! here's a super sons ^^

[triona-tribblescore]

Human Angel and Husk??

Bam! Though ngl, I think Im gonna workshop Husk a little more, something feels not quite there yet with his design, its missing his hat or something idk :') <3

(also man is standing on a chair I promise he's shorter-)

[tyquu]

Ezra would have some rockin crutches for when he needs a break from the prosthetic

YEAH YEAH YEAH

He so would!!

[crunchchute]

willy wearing those new year glasses except it’s 2014 ones bc they ran out of 2024…

sorry this is not quite the pizza you ordered But im working with a timeline here. so i went back in time 10 years. happy new year 2004