#But it's not the obvious traits of knowing absolutely everything

[illegally-blind-and-deaf]

I don't think that Pippin Took is not intelligent, or smart.

I think he's an incredibly bright, young hobbit with the self-preservation of any 16-year-old human who just wants to know and understand everything.

Going by the books (because I love Pippin in the books), it's fairly clear that he quite clever, just reckless and very, very curious to the point that not knowing something is an irritating itch that he just has to scratch.

To me, Pippin seems like the kind of child who was told that he asked too many questions and needed to sit down and be quiet, which led to him seeking answers himself, regardless of how dangerous it might seem. Hence dropping the stone down the well (who doesn't want to see how deep a very dark pit goes?), touching the palantír (in his defense, he didn't really want to but he felt something pulling him towards it. Whether it was his curiosity or something ulterior in the palantír is up for interpretation in my mind), even joining the conspiracy to uncover what Frodo was really doing when he sold Bag End.

Pippin is just someone who craves knowledge and is unafraid to go and find answers himself, probably because everyone constantly tells him that he asks too many questions and that he can't possibly wish to know everything.

[chahaezii]

Hello everyone, It's me again 🥀.. I present you even more headcanons I have for our favorite man, Sung Jinwoo.

Will Contain NSFW Headcanons. Read at your own risk.

Non NSFW Headcanons first.

Likes To Play Fight.

Well it's obvious with this one, he likes to tease, playfully mess your hair or even pinch you. He likes to see you get all annoyed and bothered with him, he finds it cute. Don't worry, he apologizes afterwards and treat you with gentle kisses or cuddles if that's what you'd prefer.

Possessive, Not Controlling.

As much as he loves you and wants to keep you all to himself, he won't take away your freedom. He lets you do whatever you please, but, the moment anyone tries to take you away from him? He's gonna make sure that person regrets it. He's gonna make sure said person will remember that you're his and he's yours.

Stays Awake Longer In Bed.

When you guys sleep together, he'll stay awake a little longer for you just in case you suddenly wake up out of nowhere. He also takes that as a chance to admire how beautiful you are.

Sweet Talker.

Oh he is a MASSIVE sweet talker alright. He takes every chance he could to compliment you or give you corny pickup lines. He likes to show how much he loves you by sweet talking to you, and only you.

Obedient.

Yes yes, he's the dominant one in a relationship. But, he will listen to EVERYTHING you say / ask for. He would do ANYTHING you ask him in an instant. He will try everything in his power to make sure you get exactly what you want or need. He wants to make sure you're satisfied and happy with him.

Pure Gentleman.

He's definitely the definition of a gentleman, well at least in my eyes. He would open doors for you, never let you pay for anything, bring flowers that are specifically your favorites to you (or anything else you prefer other than flowers), never raise his voice at you, comfort you during your lowest and basically do anything that's required.

NSFW Headcanons ahead ;

Dirty Talker.

Oh ho, you're definitely in for a treat. He degrades / praises (depending on his mood) a lot. He'd tell you how good you were taking him or how much of a whore you are for him. He would never be quiet during your "bedwars session" .

Animalistic Traits.

He fucks like an absolute animal. He would promise to be gentle but immediately forgets all about it the moment the sexual tension gets serious. He's impatient when it comes to doing you. He would definitely use ruler's hand to pin you down or hold you steadier as he thrusts with a crazy pace. Like an absolute animal.

Enjoys Toys.

He likes to keep things fun, so that's where the toys come in. He'd use all kinds of toys on you and play around with them. He'd even use it in public sometimes but only if you want it.

BDSM Enjoyer.

Just like the toys one, he likes to keep things interesting. He'd use ropes, cuffs, his abilities, you name it. He enjoys testing with new experiences.

Switching.

Yeah fuck all of those "Jinwoo is definitely a top!" argument. Yeah he COULD be if he wants to, but there's also days where he's feeling a little submissive. He'd let you do whatever you want to him if he's feeling it. Sometimes, he'd even switch between rounds, letting you take the lead first then end it with him being the lead.

Wearing His Clothes.

There are also days where he wants to see you get fucked by him while wearing his clothes, it just turns him on even more. Plus, if he's gonna use that said clothes later on, he can get reminded of what he did to you while you were wearing the clothes.

Of course, there are MORE to these headcanons but, only if you guys want more. Only then, I'll continue on.

Let me know what you guys think! ^.^

PS. Sorry if my grammar sucks, I'm currently feeling a little sick. I can't think properly.. 🥀

[coffeetank]

Opposing Qualities for your Characters!

I always advocate the concept of Traits and their Inverses when making characters. If you're familiar with my blog, you'll know that in one of my posts, I've told you to use opposing qualities when you make a character to make them real. Here's a link to that post if you haven't come across it yet so you can understand this better: https://www.tumblr.com/coffeetank/747126821111447552/build-characters?source=share ~ List of more opposing qualities to give your characters: persuasive :: manipulative (your character has a way with words and sometimes uses this to get away with things)

humble :: underconfident (your character does not have an ego at all, but they are in actuality always underconfident - show how this can affect their surroundings especially in a situation where others depend on them)

independent :: alienated (your character can do everything on their own and quite literally does not need anyone around, show how this can crossover over with alienation - dig into the emotional background of this supposed crossover)

curious :: invasive (your character has an appetite for knowledge, but they forget boundaries - show how this can get them into trouble)

daring :: reckless (your character has a strong spirit and isn't scared of taking risks, but this can always incline to the bad side and cause them harm - use this to especially add event and conflict in the story)

neutral :: retracted (your character prefers to see both sides before coming to a conclusion and stays neutral 99% of the times, but then when one side needs them more than the other they refuse to acknowledge that need and pull themselves out of that situation - show how this this can affect their relationships with other people especially on a moral ground)

emotional :: irrational (it's always good for your character to have emotional capacity, but it can hinder with their practical side for sure - show how this plays out)

unique :: aberrant (your character has a very solid personality but then some their quirks are too odd to be normal - this is good for revealing an undercover villain/agent/supernatural being later in the story as a twist)

optimistic :: unserious (your character is a positive person, but they take life too lightly sometimes - play with it!)

appealing :: deceptive (your character is absolute delight to be around and wins hearts in an instant - show how they use this power of their to deceive people for their own benefit)

hopeful :: expectant (your character wishes for the bright side - show how this can transverse into having unfulfilled expectations thus making them act out wrongly due to disappointment)

clever :: cunning (as obvious as it sounds, your character uses their intelligence for the wrong - bonus if you mix this with another set of opposing qualities to add depth and layers to your characters)

short-tempered :: violent (easy, simple and impactful; your character loses temper quickly but they damage things around them with every small/big outburst)

Feel free to use these as you'd like! I'll bring you more soon.

-ashlee

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

the fact that the minecraft movie -- sorry, a minecraft movie -- completely misinterprets what minecraft is even about and so many people are still eating it up annoys me so damn much.

i mean, also the fact that every single aspect of the whole film is trash and yet people are still eating it up also annoys me. but i really wanna focus on how the plot completely misinterprets everything minecraft is actually about.

the movie isn't even out yet, but i could already see it the moment the leak about the piglin leader who hates creativity got out. and with the recent trailer, it's all the more obvious. a minecraft movie doesn't know what minecraft is even about.

and like, it's understandable. mojang has shown with their recent directionless updates that not even they're sure what minecraft is about anymore. but even they somehow have a better idea than whoever's writing the minecraft movie.

technically speaking, it's not a retcon. but it sure as hell feels like a retcon. the movie is trying to make out as if the entire game is purely about creativity, down to saying "creativity is key to survival". except it's literally not though, the creative aspects of the game are pretty separate from the survival parts. the game literally has different gamemodes separating the two.

and like, sure you can call survival tips like hiding in a 2 block crevice to avoid endermen 'creativity', but that's being lenient with the definition. and the redstone aspects are very much optional, and even for the contraptions that help with survival, most people just stick with the same few builds everybody knows.

survival and creative are separate modes for a reason. "creativity is key to survival" makes absolutely zero sense in the context of minecraft and i want to give whoever wrote that line a hard slap in the face.

but something so much worse than trying to make minecraft out to be all about creativity is trying to make the nether out to be the antithesis to creativity. which of course makes absolutely zero sense. players can still be very creative in the nether in the game, there's nothing restricting that. and literally nobody ever has played minecraft, entered the nether, and gone "this is the antithesis to creativity". no promotional material has ever made this out to be the case either. nor the subtle lore details. fucking nothing, ever, has ever even vaguely implied this to be the case. how can this be anything other than a giant fucking retcon?

and they make piglin society out to be this evil creativity hating society, and that's like their defining trait in the movie. that they hate creativity. even more of a defining trait than liking gold, which is their defining trait in the actual game. and they invade the overworld because they just hate creativity so much.

minecraft is such a unique fantasy world that you're thrown into with no explanation, and forced to survive in a beautiful blocky world. minecraft is about creativity, but it's also about serenity, and about survival, and about loneliness, and simultaneously about community. it's about the sadness of seeing your pet dog die, and about the beauty of your poorly put together first house, and about the fear in your first enderman encounter, and the wonder of your first trip to the nether. it's about building with friends, and griefing friends' builds, and fighting friends to the death. and it's about so so so much more. somehow, despite its rocky reputation Minecraft Story Mode managed to portray so much of this, while a minecraft movie fails to even portray one.

and yes, a minecraft movie can't even portray one of these things right. it doesn't even get the creativity aspect correct. the sets are bland and uninspired, the houses aren't built within minecraft's creative restrictions and so they look off and un-minecrafty, and the message is portrayed so so blandly.

that's another thing that really bugs me about this retcon: it's boring. it takes a previously ambiguous dimension and pig society that could be so many interesting things, and retcons them into one dimensional antagonists. that's not only ironically a very creatively bankrupt thing for them to do, but also leads to a boringly portrayed message. "creativity is good, the world is about creativity, and these guys hate creativity, so they're the bad guys."

you know what else already did this message? the lego movie. and that did it a billion times better. the message in that has layers, not just to be creative but to not have such a one track mindset, to think outside of how the world says things should be. and it also had a far more believable antagonist. instead of the villain just being 'i hate creativity because i am evil', he was a perfectionist who wanted everything to be exactly how he thinks they should be. this feels more believable because this kind of person is very common to come across when it comes to lego, for them to always want their sets to be perfect with not a single brick out of place. it's just an extreme exaggeration of that kind of lego fanatic.

also, the lego movie did its animation far better too. instead of making everything real life because the idiots up top think only live action movies are real movies, they opted to not only have everything in animated lego, but work within lego's limitations in creative ways to make the animation work. to portray the brushing of hair for example, they simple swap out an unbrushed hair piece for a brushed hair piece. and instead of real water or explosions they use lego pieces. damn, they even use lego pieces for the smear frames. that's going above and beyond. and because of all that, it feels like a love letter to lego.

meanwhile a minecraft movie is not only ugly live action, but can't even put together a single house that looks like it was built in minecraft. that's pathetic. that's absolutely pathetic. it's clear they don't actually give a shit about minecraft's unique visual style.

while i'm at it i also want to complain about the ugly terrain of this movie, where instead of looking anything vaguely like what you'd see in minecraft, they fill it with these uneven cubes making up giant cubes because they want to really exaggerate the gimmick of minecraft being blocky, as if the designers were all dementia ridden grandmas who looked over at their grandchildrens' ipads one time, thought to themselves 'it's all blocky, how quirky,' and then proceeded to make an art piece on it where all they could focus on was how blocky it is, and so it turned out all distorted and inaccurate.

i don't know what i find more outrageous; the fact that they think a mainstream audience will be stupid enough to go see it, or that they're probably right.

[xxastreascornerxx]

There was a conversation in one of the most recent episodes on TSAMS where Moon explicitly states "I'll let Solar tell you about that in extreme autistic detail"

YES.

As an autistic person, looking at Solar (or even Eclipse and Lunar; other Eclipses) everything looks normal.

I put on the masking mentality and OH MY GOD??!!?!!!

Solar, an extremely monotone man who sits there and finds comfort people, getting to know them and attaching every good thing to that person. At one point it was Nexus, then Nebula.

I'm not going to get into how AUTISTIC Nebula and Jack are but Solar is definitely a main example in how the show likes representing Autism or neurodivergent tendencies.

Solar when he lost Jack was so upset that he shut down and hardly reacted, hyper focusing on getting his son back that when he was told to stop and think on his actions the major flood of emotions was mentally debilitating. Then again that fueled his focus for the creator.

Solar's reactions to Nebula are nothing short of business proposals, they talk as if they're contractually obligated to hang out yet you can tell they really like each other. The way Solar sees Nebula and immediately knows "well she probably wants to play her favorite game" is something undeniably AUTISTIC. He withholds information for the next interaction without making it seem like he's focusing on every little detail about her.

He knows things about Jack that sure, are obvious, but it's difficult to learn from something you created so he let's Jack tell him things or bonds with him in simple and entertaining ways like watching TV or playing games.

Lunar is hyper emotional, the complete opposite of Solar. He uses his emotions in his everyday life and conforms to what makes other people the happiest.

Though we don't get to see much of it anymore, the way Eclipse and Lunar spoke is as though they were falling back into old habits while still keeping it healthy, both trauma and autism traits. They push each other away and keep each other at an arms reach, but they want a relationship.

Lunar with children is me with children, fine with them until it's too much. It's why he can't run the daycare but can babysit Jack and Dazzle just fine. It's why he gets along with Moon who; quite literally also possesses autistic traits.

Lunar has very specific people he's comfortable with but has no problem branching out to meet people, he'll always shrink back into his family though.

Eclipse, my belothed little angry autistic entity. Eclipse has what I like to call "aggressive autism" it stems from trauma and anxiety.

Eclipse wants to be close to people, wants to have that relationship he did with Puppet, but physically can't in fear of people dying or leaving him once he finally gets into routine.

Yes, Eclipse has a routine. No, it isn't 100% healthy.

Eclipse is an insomniac, he stays up all night calculating solutions and trying DESPERATELY to find answers. Just like Solar, when he gets the time the emotions get to him and he falls apart.

He's rude to people, whether it's telling people to fuck off or that he doesn't need them to care for him it always ends up something like this.

"Fuck you"

"I'm not going anywhere"

"I don't need you to monitor me like I'm a baby"

"I'm not, I just think you need company"

"I don't want your pity"

(Not an accurate conversation, just vibe based)

But he never tells them to leave unless he's absolutely overwhelmed.

Speaking of, Mimic. When that happened and Puppet was trying to help him he was extremely overwhelmed, trauma had resurfaced and he was scared. He wanted anyone who could see him vulnerable to get away, yet he seemed almost to want them there.

Eclipse needs people, but refuses it because of the way he was created and treated.

CLIPSEY. OH CLIPSEY I LOVE YOU

The most recent Eclipse, fem nights Clipsey.

She is the ICON OF AUTISM. The first time we meet her she's playing what she deems a harmless prank on Sunny, pretending to be Roxas just to mess around. She doesn't seem apologetic because she doesn't understand the amount of pain it could cause.

Immediately after she changes focus to the portal and goes to a dimension that I can only describe to be her hyperfixation.

She's extremely sporadic and monotone but you can tell she's genuine. She threatens people without remorse and pulls the people she was raised with closer to her.

She LOVES her sisters, sure do I know what happened between her and Luna? No, but I know she loves Sunny and Moonie.

This girl is threatening men for Sunny, actively repulsed or oblivious to romantic gestures, and overall very upbeat despite her mischievous side.

She's reliable when people need her and refuses to decline if it's genuinely an emergency.

So yeah, this is my autism analysis on the Eclipses!

Ps. Ruin is autistic asf but shhhh

[mo0nfairy]

ᥫ᭡ .  #  ۫  ,  ⸺  A HOUSE IN NEBRASKA  !  

summary :: mike schmidt did not realize the weight of his mistake before it was too late. when he had first met you, his baby sister's beloved teacher, he couldn't imagine ever leaving you. with his aunt's demands to see her niece, however, he had no choice. now, a year later and two states over, everyday is spent suffocating on misery and memories. mike does not know how much more of this he can endure before he breaks.

word count :: 9.2k.

content warnings :: obsessive!mike, yandere!mike, fnaf movie spoilers, drugging, kidnapping, violence, stalking, & insinuations of s3x.

mike schmidt's yandere traits are . . .

obsessive, paranoid, & nervous

──── Everything is hazy.

Fuzzy. Blurry. Serenity in its sheerest form. The absolute definition of tranquility.

That April morning in Nebraska. The scent of sugar and crayons, the sounds of children playing outside, the scattered toys left on rainbow carpets. You're sat at the desk in your classroom. Warm light bleeding through the window behind you, framing you with flowering leaves and sunshine.

Across the room, Abby Schmidt sits on the floor. Her small fingers tap the glass enclosure where the class pet is. Mr. Cupcake, your iguana. Or, as you like to refer to him, your teaching assistant. His claws plunge into his food dish, copper-colored eyes scrutinizing his surroundings. Abby watches as the reptile chows on the fruit and foliage left for breakfast.

Sitting in the chair opposite your desk is Mike Schmidt. Sweat beads on his forehead, ineluctably distressed beneath your gaze. The suit he wore for this occasion juts uncomfortably into his skin. His fingers fidget with the trim of his tie. He looks at the woven basket of exotic butters sitting on your desk, wondering why he had gotten you such an aimless gift.

Mike is quiet, as usual. Austere, his permanent disposition. Despite his tireless efforts to express his thoughts to you, the words remain nestled in his throat. Conjuring any syllable in your presence is impossible.

You, however, do not have any wavering confidence. You reiterate the legal documents obligatory for Abby's complete transition to a new school. Noting how all necessities are now in your possession (albeit languidly, as Mike has been painfully trying to buy more time here), the relocation was complete. The obvious insinuation of your words, however, brings crippling dread like no other.

The last time you would ever see one another. Your goodbye.

Standing to your feet, you make your way to Abby and bend down beside her. You will miss your star student, as you have a soft spot for all the children in your classroom. In the process, you do not take notice of the way Mike instinctively reaches out to you. He's sure your touch would kill him, but it does not stop him from wishing for it. Even just a sliver of the precious rarity.

"I think Mr. Cupcake is going to miss you." Abby looks at you with wide, curious eyes.

"Don't tell the others, but you're definitely his favorite." That earns you a smile before she averts her attention back to the iguana.

When you stand, you find Mike breathing down your neck. Horrifically, as this memory still haunts him, he thought it'd be a good idea to hug you. And he practically throws his entire body weight on top of you. When you reject him by placing your hand on his chest, offering a handshake instead, fire spreads with your touch. Knowing he will never know what it feels like to hold you close to him is more excruciating than he is willing to admit.

Abby skips out of the classroom, an adorable pep in her step. At the same time, every step Mike takes from you feels like walking through an avalanche. Dragging him backward, begging to return to you. Almost as if it were his instinct, his body is trying to reject his advances of leaving you.

"Why do you always look at them like that? Like... Like they're a dinosaur or something?"

Abby's question causes Mike's brows to furrow. His feelings for you were certainly discernible. Even his young sister had taken notice of the odd behavior. Had he made it that obvious? He answers her with a weak, affirmative grunt. Too emotionally fatigued to find words to speak.

A sudden flare of biliousness deluges through his body. The hallway walls adorned with children's paintings have morphed into a colorful blur of vertigo. The floors disturbingly stretch in size, making the journey away from you all the more torturous. The suit he had tried to wear confidently sticks to his hot skin. Nausea squirms in his stomach like a dying cockroach. The room begins to spin, lights sway in his vision, and his knees fight for balance.

Mike hears his sister shriek his name before he falls to the ground.

One year later, Mike wakes from this same dream, once again.

Every night of this past year, he has dreamt the same thing. Your final goodbye and the sheer impact it took on him. It is a gut-wrenching memory, but he welcomes the echo of you with open arms. To feel your hand on his chest, see your eyes looking into his. This yearning heartache is the only thing keeping him alive.

For the umpteenth time, Mike faces the harsh, violent reality of his current life. Now, he is somewhere in Utah. Praying straight to God he'll somehow wake up back in Nebraska. Where he could see you again, where he could be happy again.

Tearing the headphones of his Walkman off, the song he had played on repeat comes to an end. He rubs his sleepy eyes. With newfound clarity, Mike shifts his gaze upwards. Taped to the ceiling is a drawing Abby drew. It's of you and him beneath a flowery altar, Mr. Cupcake as your marriage officiant. The picture aids him in his efforts to feel closer to you.

Mike doesn't even know how he survived seeing the drawing for the first time. Someone else validating his feelings for you and the realness of your nonexistent relationship was too much for him to handle. Even if it is a child doing so through a frivolous drawing.

When Mike shuffles over to place his Walkman on the bedside table, he skims over the assortment of clutter left there. Several bottles of sleeping medication had been indolently thrown onto the surface. The pills help his dreams feel more real, as though he were at your side once again.

A glance over, Mike's heart wrenches at the sight of the picture frame. Beside the mess of pills is a photograph of you he had torn from Abby's yearbook. As if you were watching over him while he slept, reaching out to him in the presence of his dreams. It's a comforting thought of his, to imagine you watching over him. Like his personal guardian angel.

Surely, he would prefer to have you physically with him, instead of just relying on these fantasies to hold him over. His stomach flutters at the mere idea of you being in his bed with him. Mike feels empty without your warm weight beside him.

Laying against his chest, huddling up to him for an early-morning cuddle before the day starts. He would ensnare his blanket around your still-sleeping form. He'd press ardent kisses to the top of your head and inhale the aromatic scent of your signature soap. Massaging his hands across your back. Caressing the balmy flesh of your body. It is the physical manifestation of nirvana brought directly into his palms.

Mike shakes the thoughts out as quickly as they come. So cheesy... What on Earth is he doing?

Although he has tossed around the idea of giving in and leaving Abby in their aunt's care, what kind of man would you think him as if he abandoned his family? And if he were to take Abby back to Nebraska, Social Services would surely hunt him down. The mere idea of being locked behind a prison cell is terrifying, but the prospect of never seeing you again provokes terror like no other.

Mike's head pounds as these thoughts haunt him. Reveries of brighter days in your presence, trepidation of being separate from you forever — this is how every morning usually begins. His dreams nestled in a nightmare. The chaos in his head brings him to where this story had begun altogether.

February. Two months before the last time he would ever see you.

Jane had demanded Abby live with her in Utah, threatening legal action in the process. Mike had no other choice but to succumb to her orders. It had begun as a minor inconvenience, considering his life in Nebraska was futile to begin with. However, it would soon become the worst decision he has ever made. He knows he should have fought harder, but Mike hadn't met you until after he verified their relocation. It wasn't until he had stepped foot into your classroom for the very first time had he realized the weight of his mistake.

With the start of his shift at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza approaching, he struggled to bring these rampant thoughts to rest. Resentfully, Mike rises from his bed. The sun has begun to set and his unsatisfactory power nap has come to an end. He trudges over to the foot of his bed and begins his usual set of push-ups. Triggering adrenaline through his body is essential to his daily routine. It helps ease his brain from all the chaos. An area he is in dire need of assistance.

For a moment, his thoughts are blank. It is such an oddity, that Mike is left stunned. Having a silent mind is a privilege that is unknown to him.

And just when he thought he had found coherence, the memory of you comes sprinting at him from the shadows. Mere seconds of emptiness pass before thoughts of you invade his mind.

A week after your final goodbye.

His disposition has suffered from a harsh descent since then. Mike is now irritable and aggressive to anyone who even faintly nudges his buttons. Snapping like a feral dog. Rough like a calloused hand.

Acknowledging weakness has never been his strong suit, but Mike is not a fool when it comes to how he feels around you. The overwhelming nerves stirred together with unwavering devotion make for a sugary-sweet, poisonous concoction. Something he could get drunk off for years to come.

Although his mind is stained in consideration, he cannot storm through the school doors and take you with him to Utah. Merely standing in your presence is enough to make him stop breathing. Contriving an abduction, one that includes you, no less, would fail miserably. And as he stated before, the prospect of being stuck behind bars and never seeing you again provokes terror like no other.

So, he gives in. He resentfully gives in to what his Aunt Jane wants and goes about his life.

There was only two more weeks before he'd leave his job as security at the mall forever. Mike meanders through the large expanse, actively averting his gaze from all the happy couples. Hands held together, eyes brimming with adoration, feeding each other ice cream. It never fails to make him bitter, which he prefers to assume it is because of how sappy the sight is.

He wonders what flavor of ice cream is your favorite, the look in your eye as he feeds you a spoonful. What kind of sweet words you'd give him and the way you'd blush when he drowns you in adoration. Within the safety of his mind, he has molded himself into the man of your dreams. You will just have to look past all the sweat and nerves to find him.

A flicker of movement captures his attention. Something strangely familiar in his peripheral. When he turns, his breath gets caught in his chest.

His wide eyes stare at you. Standing alone across the mall.

All Mike can do is gawk. Like a newly-born fawn, staring goggle-eyed and weak-kneed as he takes in the sight of the world for the very first time. A gasp of your name parts from his lips. He sways in his stance like a boat on the sea, his body melts like snow beneath the sunlight. Stood still in place, he feels that familiar sense of light-headedness return. He embraces the dizziness as a comfort, this time around.

Mike could almost laugh at this. At the same time, he could cry his heart out.

Of course, your roads would intersect. Of course, you would find each other in the end. Even when he had fully accepted he would never see you again, you return to him. Like a cloud of happier days, here to hide the torment for all.

And then, he's interrupted.

Walking uninvited into the scene is a stranger. A man approaches you, daring to drape his arm around your shoulder. Mike's eye twitches as he watches. The stranger then plants a kiss on your cheek, something Mike has wished to do since the first time he stepped foot in your classroom. With this man's hands all over you, the two of you begin to walk away.

The word "heartbroken" was something Mike had never felt before. It was something he never understood. He only heard of the word through brainless movies, where he swore he'd never let himself fall apart like the dumb characters do. At this moment, however, that term is stamped all over him in thick ink. A vivid exhibition of all the good and bad you have done to him.

Without another thought, Mike takes a step. Then another. Before he is breaking into a full sprint toward the love of his life and the parasite latched onto them. It's as if a puppeteer was controlling him, grasping hold of his spine and snatching a fistful of nerves. He shoves past any shoppers in his way, a few losing balance and falling to the floor. His speed accelerates with every hastening step, growing closer and closer.

The stranger looks over his shoulder a second too late before he is tackled. The two fall into an adjacent fountain with a loud clamor. Mike's fist clenches, before it surges down into his face. Then, he does it again and again and again.

Again. Again. Again.

And again.

Grunting like an animal, Mike can't stop himself.

Fuck you. Fuck you. 

Fuck you.

Don't you ever fucking touch them.

It is blinding, how enraged he is. In a mess of blood and water. The mere thought of someone laying a finger on you boils red-hot rage like he has never felt before.

Someone ensnares their arms around him and drags him away from the mess he created. When the splashing water eases down to calm ripples, he finally looks over to you to ensure your safety and- who is that? A different person is standing there, utter horror plastered on their face as they watch the scene play out.

They have the same height, the same clothes, almost the same everything. But, now that Mike is able to scrutinize who he thought to be you, he realizes he was completely wrong. He had only formed a desperate personification of you from memory. What has he done?

The dread is soul-crushing as the weight of his mistake crushes him. Other bystanders watch in shock. Mike's fists are bruised red, his clothes are wet and stained with blood. What on Earth was he thinking!? All he ever wanted was to protect you! To protect you from men like that!

Mike's vision doubles and his body shivers. All he ever wanted was to protect you. The only thing he can think about is you and the sheer devastation you have rained down into his life.

This memory playing through his head is abruptly cut short. Mike is then forcefully shoved back into reality when his hand slips during his set of push-ups. He falls face-first into the carpet, grumbling from the harsh contact.

It is a vile memory to have, as it is the reason he lost his job at the mall and truly eradicated any chance of staying in Nebraska. However, it showed him how irrevocably devoted he is to you. How the feelings he has for you are completely and utterly real. Someone like him, who prides himself in being aloof and controlled, was capable of causing such calamity. All for your safety.

It was a terrifying revelation, but it soothed him in a way he had never felt before.

Michael Schmidt needs you.

And unfortunately, his feelings are not powerful enough to stretch into physical reality. Even though it feels as though they are capable of doing so, they cannot mold the world to bring him back to you. They cannot protect him from the inevitability of leaving his home and being dragged to Utah.

Now, he stands at the entrance of Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Ivy grows amongst the bricked walls. Bright paint fades from years of neglect. Mike breathes in the scent of midnight brume as he unlocks the doors, trying once more to rid his brain of the thought of you.

The flashlight in his hands illuminates the inside of the pizzeria. Specks of dust permeate the air. Flashy arcade games are riddled with age. Toys on the prize shelf are covered in a blanket of cobwebs. The once gaudy carpets are caked with dirt. And those God-awful animatronics still stand on that rickety stage. Mike takes note of all these little things with a sigh. If this place was still alive today, he knows you'd adore taking your students here.

As his nights have been spent for the last year, he walks through the dilapidated establishment as usual. On the desk is a stack of chunky monitors displaying several angles of the pizzeria. The "CELEBRATE!" poster on the wall mocks him. He plops down on the adjacent swivel chair. The old fabric peels and the wheels whine from his weight.

Unzipping his ragged backpack, he grasps hold of the book he had taken with him, Dream Theory. Adjusting the headphones of his Walkman on his head, Mike then flicks the dog-ear over and resumes his reading.

God only knows how many times he has read this damned book. And every time he rereads it, he prays he can somehow find an anecdote for this torment. A magic step-by-step guide that will bring him back to you.

Despite perusing this book from front to back, he still searches for more. He hates being awake. He'd much rather be asleep, where he can return to you. Any second not spent with you, even if the moment is not tangible, is a second gone to waste. No matter what the circumstances are, he could only ever wish to be with you.

Lethargy hits Mike like a slap across the face. The book in his hands is now reminiscent of a brick. The song that plays on repeat in his Walkman soothes him like a mother's lullaby. All of these sensations embrace Mike; they pacify his brain and body of any unease. And with a few more leveled breaths, Dream Theory falls from his hands and he drifts off.

With a beat, he's woken up with a sharp gasp. This time, however, he does not awaken in the same dingy pizzeria. He finds himself sitting at a picnic table. Located in the very same forest he had lost his brother years ago.

Looking down, Mike finds he is dressed in the same hunter-green sweater and jeans stained with grass. His eyes scan around the expanse, searching for the faces of his family. He cannot find his mother, his father, nor Garrett. No one. Everything is to no avail.

There's a shuffle from behind him. He looks, only to find swaying trees and fluttering birds. And then, a voice.

"I'm sad to see you both go." The familiar cadence has Mike's head snapping back forward. He is struck with desperation.

There you are, sat across from him at the picnic table.

If it weren't for the campgrounds you were both at, this moment would be identical to when he first met you. In that same classroom, on that same day. Every mannerism and timbre of your voice is a picture-perfect copy of that moment. Same look in your eye, wearing the same clothes and bead bracelets your students made for you. Same everything.

It is a precious memory. To sit here with you feels so real, as though the heavens had answered Mike's prayers and brought him back to you.

"Abigail has always been a stellar student. I have no doubt she'll flourish in her new school."

Your smile makes his heart sink. Everyone always looks at him with anger. Not you, though. You're different.

"She does have a tendency to keep to herself. But, I think she'll adapt well to the new environment." He remembers every word from your mouth.

The emotions he was struck with when he first met you come back in a near-fatal rush. Irrepressible tension and rapture plunge through the barrier of his flesh. Practically a duplicate of the exact memory.

Going to a standard school meeting for his sister was an event Mike intended to do briefly. Getting it over as quickly as possible is his standard approach to most if not all, aspects of his life. This day, however, he was thrown in a whirlpool when he found himself wishing to stay with you. Leaving you felt like something he could not bear to endure.

Mike is abnormally pale, drenched in sweat, and mere seconds from passing out. You place your hand on his arm, inquiring him about if he was feeling alright. Hook, line, and sinker. Your mere touch sent him charging away from any perceived sanity he once possessed.

The strictly platonic concern you had for his well-being is addicting. To a point where Mike abandons all morals to indulge in these newfound feelings you give him. Once a poised man has now been reduced to a gooey puddle of sheer fervor.

All he can do is nod in response, completely entranced by the sight before him. You take his assurance hesitantly, before reaching into a basket of children's toys beside your desk. As this memory usually plays out, you retrieve a bear plushie. You then tell him of how it is Abby's favorite to play with and how you wish to gift it to her before your final goodbye. He agrees, of course. Nodding once more to compensate for his inability to speak.

In these woods, however, you show him that orange toy plane his brother treasured. His gaze remains latched to you as stand from the picnic table and walk away. To his utmost surprise, you then bend down beside Garrett. When you present him with the plane, he accepts your gift with childlike elation. He is quick to abandon his recent endeavors in favor of playing with his new toy.

You stand on foot, watching with an adoring smile as the young boy takes off. Mike watches you. An emotional, muddled intensity in his eyes.

"This isn't... This isn't how it happened... This isn't real." In his state of confusion, Mike has found the ability to speak.

He captures your attention and your gaze reverts to him. In response, his mouth goes dry and all coherent thought vanishes. Just one look from you and his entire capacity to speak is robbed, once again.

"But, it could be... It's what you want, isn't it?"

You are correct. You have always been veracious and that attitude does not fail now.

So despairingly, Mike wants this with you. To raise Abby and Garrett together, he can only imagine the wonderful people they'd become under your care. Maybe you and him could even bring a few more beautiful lives into this world. He can only imagine how exultant his own life would become if this dream turned into reality.

The rest of his life would be spent with you in Nebraska, just like this. Mornings and nights spent together at the dining table, all delicious laughter and nourishing meals. He'll even let you bring that lizard, too!

Playing frivolous games in the backyard until the sun sets, dressing in ridiculous costumes to take the kids trick-or-treating, and helping them blow out the candles for every birthday cake. Hell, he'll endure the sweltering temperatures and screaming kids at Disneyland. Only if you're there with him.

And maybe after the bedtime stories and last tuck-ins goodnight, you and him can occupy yourselves with other activities. Mike is no stranger to these kinds of fantasies, after all.

You wouldn't fail Abby and Garrett. Not like he did. You could all be a family. Exactly like he has always wanted.

For a moment, Mike had forgotten how his life had inevitably turned out. He was so warped in the domestic bliss he could have with you, that he didn't anticipate how the next chapter of his life would manifest in this dream.

You are tackled to the ground. You fight, you kick, you scream — you do everything in your strength to get the man off of you. The very same man who took Garrett all those years ago.

Not a picosecond passes before Mike picks himself up, rushing to your safety. He intends to beat the man to a bloody pulp. His sole purpose on Earth is to protect you and ensure your safety, after all. In his efforts, his foot gets caught against the legs of the picnic table, sending him to the dirt floor. Mike is quick to scramble to his feet. His heart races a mile a minute; his eyes are blown wide in crazed worry.

When he stands, he finds that somehow within the few seconds spent on the ground, you had been shoved into the back of a car. You bang your fists against the rear window, pleading for him to rescue you. And that, Mike desperately tries to do.

He sprints after you in a blind, blurred panic. The sudden, swift movement of his body is painful, as though needles poke and prod at his skin. It is all he can see, hear, feel, think of. Losing you and the gut-wrenching devastation that would inevitably follow.

The car begins to accelerate faster and faster. His running pace gets slower with every step forward. Mike tries, God, he fucking tries, but you slip away from him like sand between his fingers. Just the same as it was when he lost his brother.

With his speed receding, his body loses all mobility and he cannot bear to run anymore. The harsh punt of his body falling to the ground pulls a grunt out of his throat. Mike whispers mantras of "I'm sorry," hoping that you can somehow hear his pleas. He prays that by some miracle, the man who took you will have a change of heart and bring you back. Sobs plunge through his chest. The misery seeps in like water leaking through a weak dam.

Consciousness comes back to him all too suddenly. A loud yell of your name erupts from him and echoes through the security room. Mike plummets from his desk chair and splats against the ground. His mind is still plagued by that scene, he is still racing to save your life.

Cold sweat drips from his head. His hands shake with a terrified tremor. He hyperventilates, as though he had escaped the depths of the ocean and were inhaling fresh air for the first time. Mike weakly props himself up against the desk, trying to calm himself.

An entire year of agony. Over 365 days of absolute Hell. Living without you has tortured him in ways he never thought was possible.

Sitting here on the filthy floor of this old pizzeria, Mike finally waves his white flag. He has given up. He cannot do this anymore. It is more than he can handle.

And without so much as another breath, Mike springs into action.

Max is surprised to see him back home so early. Flustered and ridden with sweat, Mike explains how there is an emergency at work and he needs her to watch Abby longer. She obliges and accepts the hefty pay he shoves into her hands. He is driving away before she can process what has just occurred.

The song he plays every night in his Walkman blares from the car radio. Your song. The idea brings him ephemeral ease. A dash of excitement.

This is what his life is supposed to be and if all goes well, it's what it will be in mere hours. Mike's foot slams harder against the gas, doing what he should have done long ago.

All he has to do is explain himself. Surely, you will listen and understand this is for the better. You will see through all his stuttered words and irrepressible nerves. You will taste the sickeningly sweet devotion dripping from his mushy, candied heart. Surely, you will understand this is all for you. And of course, you will love him, too.

Hours pass like gusts of wind. The welcome sign of Nebraska passes in a flash. Mike remembers the route like the back of his hand. He'd never forget the roads that lead back to you, after all.

Dawn is moments from rising. The sky is a dark blue, covered in blotches of dark, orange sunshine. Mike pulls into the parking lot of your school where only one car is present. Yours. And of course, he parks directly beside you. The prospect of being close to you, even with something as negligible as this, sends a hot shiver coursing through his body.

Mike tries to soothe himself as he lets out a shaky breath. A heavy trepidation is nestled in his stomach, still mixed with that crisp excitement. Sweat cascades down his face. His dark, curly hair sticks to his forehead. Nothing can stop these feelings. He may try, but his scattered heartstrings stubbornly remain ensnared around his throat.

When he stands, he has to latch onto the roof of his car to catch his balance. Any passerby would think he was drunk. Being at an elementary school would certainly not help his case, either. Fortunately, the only people here are you and him. No one else. Just the way it is supposed to be.

The path leading to you is familiar. The trees blossoming, the chalk drawings on the sidewalk, and the scent of the early-morning breeze. It reminds Mike even more of how much he missed you.

His wet palms grasp the handles of the front entrance. He pulls, only for the door to remain locked in place. A few more desperate tugs and he watches as his ploy peels apart from the seams. The consideration of breaking down the door is only present momentarily, before any and all function of his is cut short.

The door is unlocked and opened. Stood at the threshold is you.

And with more intensity than Mike had anticipated, the euphoria only you are capable of conjuring comes rushing back.

"Good morning!" is all you say. Your expression is cheerful. Kind. Gorgeous, as you always are. Exactly the way he remembered.

Now that you are finally here, Mike cannot fathom how he had survived so long without you. The pieces of you sprinkled throughout his life are brought to revelation. Your name carved into his bones, your warmth threaded through his veins, your breath stirred with his every word. It is as terrifying as it is exhilarating. The fact he had not collapsed upon making mere eye contact with you is a miracle in of itself.

"Oh! Are you the new security guard? I wasn't aware we were getting a new hire." You break the silence, referring to the yellow "SECURITY" stamped on his vest.

You...

You don't remember me?

The words don't manage to escape him. Instead, you send him into a state of stupor.

The impact your words have on him is nothing short of surreal. When Mike had memorized every sliver of you down to the tilt of your jaw and the curve of your spine, you had forgotten him entirely. For the year he spent longing for you, he was merely a bystander in the background. An apparition within your mind. You do not remember him. And no words in the English language could express the lethal heartbreak.

It has rendered Mike speechless and his inability to speak fills you with unease.

"Please, come in." Opening the door further, you try and usher him inside. All you wish to do is escape this conversation and the fervid eyes of this stranger.

Gaze still glued to you, he grasps hold of the door handles. His unconscious brain still decides to take the weight off of you. Mike has no choice now, he must convince you to stay with him. To beg you to choose him, to remind you of everything you once had with each other. To show you what losing you has done to him.

When you turn and walk away, he tries to find his voice. Mike wants to express all of this to you, but his efforts are futile. He is frozen and can only watch as you leave him again. The opposite direction of your classroom, this time. Towards the office. Most likely to ensure he was actually in the system.

Mike does not take this choice of yours for granted. Gathering up whatever morsel of strength is still left in him, he takes a few wobbly steps. He stumbles through the dark hallways, clutching his hand over his heart as he walks. His rampant heartbeat does not calm itself, no matter his attempts to soothe it.

Upon practically collapsing into your classroom, a flare of fleeting ease envelops Mike. To be surrounded by you is absolute ecstasy. Paradise is personified through flamboyant decorations and the scent of strawberries and books.

He scans every detail of your classroom. The new drawings on the wall, the jumble of recently purchased toys. He sees the new changes you have made in the past year and is shattered to know you were not thinking of him at all. As opposed to every second of his life being enmeshed with you.

Mike soon finds your desk. The first and last place he had ever truly felt happiness. On the surface, some of your clutter had been left behind. Too cute. A colorful planner had been left open to this exact date. A few papers are sat to the side, where students' assessments are in the process of being graded. Most important of all, your thermal scattered with stickers sits on a pained coaster.

Mike knows he should not consider it, no less think about it. You just need to be reminded, that's all.

With a paranoid glance at the door, he takes the orange bottle of sleeping pills from his backpack. He swiftly pours out several onto the desk. Then, he takes a stapler you had left out of reach from children's sticky fingers, crushing the thin white circles into a chunky powder. Your thermal opens with a quiet pop! and Mike pours the residue into your drink. He uses the straw to stir it around for effective measure, trying to ignore the incessant urge to take your straw for... personal use.

A storage closet resides right behind him. Mike leaves everything on your desk as it once was and is swift to hide inside. He leaves the door open a mere creak, within perfect distance to watch his plan unfold.

The minute without you feels torturous, as though it had lasted a millennia. When the aching sound of silence is filled by a creaking door, his heart practically plummets. Through the small peep, you enter his field of vision. You trot over to the iguana enclosure. Saying a quick hello to Mr. Cupcake, before making your way to your desk. Oblivious to the uninvited guest just inches away.

You take a sip from your thermal. Mike cannot find air to breathe or the ability to function.

You take another. This is actually happening.

One more sip. Your pen scribbles on your planner.

You take a sip. It is a blessing straight from God you cannot hear the hyperventilated breaths behind you.

Then, another sip. Holy shit, this is actually happening.

As you work, you reach over to grab some sticky notes. Your elbow accidentally nudges your pen, causing it to fall from your desk and roll across the floor. You stand to retrieve it with a grumble before a sudden wave of lethargy envelops you. It is all too sudden and acute. You have to lean on the edge of your desk to stable yourself.

Before you can question the sudden fatigue, your body fails you. When you inevitably fall, Mike is quick to catch you. Hell, his arms were around you before your legs even wobbled. Slowly, and with loving attentiveness, he guides your limp body to the ground. The adrenaline inside him is so penetrating, that he does not have a moment to process the fact he is touching you.

With you fully unconscious, Mike knows exactly where he'll be heading next. Only now, he'll have an additional passenger with him.

He secures your unconscious form into the back seat of his car. Fastening your seatbelt and triple-checking they are in proper function. Mr. Cookie, or whatever his name is, is in the front seat within his cage. Moving his enclosure and necessities from your classroom was a hassle, as told by the bite mark on Mike's hand. For you, though, he would endure far worse.

With the birds beginning to sing, there is little time before the world wakes up and his intentions are jeopardized. Mike drives off before anyone can see what he has done. Not even he has fully processed what he has done.

Leaving your car, your home, and your life behind, he begins the treacherous and exciting journey back to Utah.

Every car that passes has him gripping the wheel tighter, foot reader to slam harder on the gas. He had already lost you once, he cannot lose you again. Mike does not play music, either. The sounds of your breathing is his new favorite harmony.

He casts a glance in the rear-view mirror every now and then. You're draped among the back of the car, cocooned in the numerous blankets he brought for this trip. Beneath the windows, your head is rested against a fluffy pillow. He even snuggled a few plushies into your arms. The sight is so gut-wrenchingly adorable, Mike nearly crashes the car with how painfully distracting the sight of you is.

This was the state he stayed in for the first several hours of the drive. Mindless driving on freeways, checking on you (as well as continuously cooing over your cuteness), and holding his breath whenever he passes through busy areas or cops. Then, he gets knocked off course.

With blurred vision, you can barely discern where you are.

Sunlight makes you squint. Your mind is messy. You can hear the rumble of a car engine, feel the vibration against your form. The blankets wrapped around you are suffocating. You peel them off from your body, a few random stuffed animals fall to the car floor when you do so.

Mike nearly snaps his neck with how fast he turns around. His efforts to take you away were frivolous, yes, but he was sure he had given you enough pills to sleep through the trip.

"Hey, you're okay. Y-You're okay. Everything's gonna be okay. Okay? Just don't freak out... Please don't freak out."

You do the opposite of what he advised. Little by little, the pieces begin to click together. Panic settles in your stomach like a fresh sheet of snow. Hyperventilating breaths leave your shaking body, accentuated by your frightened whimpers. Who is this man? What the fuck is going on? Tears stream down your face with every question that litters your mind. And every cracked sob you let out is a fatal strike to your assailant's fragile heart.

Mike is quick to comfort you, as you can always count on him to do such. And how badly he wishes to climb into the back seat himself and hold you close. Everything he is doing is for the better, you must know that. As scary as this all may seem for you, he will do whatever it takes to convince you of this truth.

He reaches his hand back to soothe you, only succeeding in the opposite when you cower away from his touch. Mike cannot hide how poignant your rejection is, he is shocked he hadn't broken down into tears alongside you.

"... Are you going to hurt me-?"

"I would never."

He answers without a sliver of hesitation. Your shattered, sugar-sweet voice absolutely destroys him.

The weight of his declaration is so immense that you could almost believe him. You should believe him, as he only tells the utter truth. The fact you have been drugged and shoved into the backseat of a stranger's car, however, convinces you otherwise.

Looking through the window, you take note of the rural area you're in. Nothing but miles of trees to comfort you. No distinct landmarks to help you navigate your location.

Mike oscillates between looking at you and the road. While he's occupied with the road ahead, you take action before thinking thoroughly. Sweltering blankets torn off of your body, you unfasten your seatbelt as silently as you can. You mentally prepare yourself for the turmoil up ahead. Then, within a matter of a single second, you unlock the car door and jump.

Debris slices into you as you fall deeper into the forest. The world becomes a blurred frenzy of trees and cloudy skies. Your frail body is drowsy from the drugs still pumping through your system. Your ribs ache, your ears ring, and you are covered in gashes. Still, survival is the only prospect present in your brain. You pick yourself up from the dirt and dash forward. Never looking back.

April puddles and fallen pinecones ruin your expensive work shoes. Fresh flowers are squished beneath your steps. There is no path you intend to take, you only wish to get as far as you can from that man. Poison ivy and low-hanging branches slash at your skin. You do not think, you only push and push and push. Anywhere away from him.

The second you had opened that car door, Mike slammed down on the brakes. The scream of your name hurts his throat from the sheer volume. To see you jump, leaving him again, sparked fear like no other. He does not even bother to turn off the car or close the door before he is racing after you. He cannot lose you again. He can't, he can't, he can't.

Mike barrels into the forest like a feral animal. He is met with a terrifying sense of déjà-vu. He's seen this movie before, he's heard this song a million times. This dream has haunted him forever. Just when he is inches from touching salvation, you will be snatched away from him. And he will have to watch as his life crumbles before his very eyes.

His legs grow heavier with every step. He screams for you until his voice goes raw. His lungs feel as though they may collapse into themselves. Still, his efforts to find you do not falter. You would have to kill him if you wished to keep him away from you.

A tree branch crunches.

Mike stops dead in his tracks. Listening.

There's a pained whimper. Quiet amongst the soft winds.

He dashes toward the sound. Swift in surging through the steep hills and overgrown forestry in his path.

While you were running, you failed to notice a protruding tree root. When your foot hooks beneath it and sends you tumbling to the ground, you try and scramble to your feet. However, the burst of adrenaline that had gotten you this far could not combat the lethargy still in your body. You lay on your back, exasperated with debility. Entirely paralyzed.

"Y/N! Oh, thank God!" Mike collapses beside you, all while you stare at the stranger in utter terror.

Dirt and sweat paint his body. Eyes blown wide and crazed, his hands reach for you. Fearfully searching for any wounds. One hand cradles your face, caressing your skin with his thumb. The other rests against your hairline, petting the expanse with tender intent. Cries of both relief and terror fill the empty silence. To lose you all over again is a horrifying prospect he cannot fathom the weight of.

"N-... No..." Your voice is weak. Barely able to crawl out of your mouth.

Fingers latched into the mud, you try to drag your body away from this maniac. Mike brings your attempts to a halt, hands still latched onto your body.

"I'll be good, Y/N, I will... Just-Just stay with me!"

Your assailant does not listen to your feeble demands. Instead, Mike wraps his arms around your torso. Further ensnaring you in his locked embrace. He buries his face into your neck and rocks your body back and forth. Trying to soothe you into another slumber. His sniffles are overpowered by his sharp inhales of breath. Consuming your scent.

"You're not leaving me. You're not fucking leaving me!" Mike bawls out.

He is now a complete mess. Face twisted with ugly sobs. All hot tears and running snot.

"Just sleep now, okay? I'm right here..."

Blunt nails dig into your shoulder blades. His weight on top of you is suffocating. Please just love him and never leave him. That is all he could ever ask for, all he could ever want. He has spent so long without the one he loves most, he cannot bear to ever part from them ever again.

With a choked groan, Mike lifts your limp body from the ground. Sniffling reassurances echo as you reach a state of unconsciousness. He lifts you over his shoulder and your body loses all mobility. As he takes you away, your mind fades into a peaceful rest. Escaping is now a pipe dream.

Faint sounds of shuffling are what you're next awoken to. Pipes bang and thump. It is far more quiet than your last conscious encounter.

Darkness pervades your vision. Your body feels weightless, as though you are floating through a dream. You cannot move, no matter your efforts to try. As if your limbs had been glued to the fluffy expanse you've been laid upon. All you are capable of doing is releasing a guttural moan of disdain from the back of your throat.

"Easy, cub. Easy now."

No.

The voice is fluffy and easy. Horrifyingly familiar.

This can't be real; this can't be reality. This cannot be what your life becomes: rotting away in this stranger's embrace.

You were granted several mere seconds of solitude before hands were on your body, once again. The grasp lifts your body, to where your assailant sits behind you and rests your back against his chest. His efforts are gentle. Comforting. Though, the movement still has you wincing in discomfort. You hadn't anticipated how many injuries you had given yourself.

Speckles of your sight return in short spurts. There is light against the darkness, everything is gold. Drowned in the hues of candlelight scattered around the room. The glow is cast against a fuzzy expanse, to where you could almost convince yourself you were in a dream. And my God, do you wish it was.

You miss the rich, headache-inducing colors of your classroom. The judging stares of other parents who drowned their homes in beige decor never felt more comforting. You miss the screeching children with their constant need for attention. Their dramatic tears and obnoxious attitude would bring you peace like no other.

Mike plants his chin against your shoulder and all you can think about is the beautiful life you have lived until this point. His arm slithers across your torso, tightening with vehement need. It is loving in the most suffocating manner. You then hear a bottle unscrew through static noise. shushes you as he presses the lid against your lips. Water cascades into your mouth and down your dry throat, all while Mike presses impassioned kisses to your temple.

"There you go. Very good... You're perfect..." His tone is cordial as he ushers you to drink.

As much as you had tried to fight his attempts to give you water, it has fortunately provided you more clarity. The environment surrounding you fades into something more lucid.

You've been swaddled in a thick comforter. Soft and floral-scented, fresh out of the dryer. The king-size bed is at the end of the room and provides you with a clear view of everything. The lack of windows and decrepit staircase tucked in the corner tell you this is a basement. Soundproofed and locked up, your chances of escape are minimal. He does not want to let you go, that much is for certain.

Across the room is a chunky television. Movie cassettes sit in the cabinet supporting the television, where a newly purchased GameCube is left beside, as well. There's a bookshelf to your left, which is filled with old novels and children's books. Nothing was bought recently. Is there a child in this house? Lego sets and puzzle boxes are stacked next to the shelf. You come to the chilling assumption that it is intended to be something for you to occupy yourself with when he's gone.

Much to your satisfaction, Mike leaves from his spot behind you. He guides you back onto the pillow with romantic, loving ease. A gentle caress to your cheek before he goes. As if he was your doting husband taking care of you while you are ill.

When you look to your right, your heart accelerates when you find your iguana enclosure on top of a rickety table. Thank God he is alright! You do not know what you would do if this man had harmed Mr. Cupcake.

As words have failed you consistently, you whine out like a baby to express your wants. Your assailant's attention is back on you at record speed. The persistent need he has to ensure your comfort is almost pathetic. Teary-eyed and pouty, you reach for the enclosure holding your iguana.

Mike's body goes rigid. A gentle gasp emanates from him.

Are you... Are you reaching for him?

He practically throws himself back onto the bed. Sat beside your laying form, he almost can't bring himself to believe it. His deluded fantasies have bloomed into existence.

"Yes? What do you need, cub?" Please say him. Please say you need him like he needs you.

Mike looks at you and his eyes melt into candy. A gentle smile plastered on his face, he brings his finger up and boops you on the nose. Affectionate is his natural disposition. You're too fucking cute.

Mike had wasted an entire year without you. Too much time spent neglecting you of his love. Oh, you must have been so lonely without him. This is all he has wanted, after all. To take care of you. To take the weight off your shoulders and bring you ease like no other. He will spend the rest of his lifetime making up for the lost time. He would spend forever for you, slaving away to earn your forgiveness.

When you firmly establish what it is you actually want, no amount of sleeping pills in your thermal cup could stop you from seeing how defeated he is. Your rejection cuts like a dagger. Anyone can see this genuine fact. Still, Mike abides by your request. He'd tear mountains asunder for your happiness, after all.

Begrudgingly, he leaves your side. He opens the enclosure with struggle. Too many notches and slots. When he takes Mr. Cupcake into his hands, the iguana squirms and twists. Almost as if the reptile grasped what was happening. He propels his tail like a whip, reaching for the hands around him with his sharp teeth. His nails dig into whatever part of this stranger he can find.

When Mike plops him into your lap, Mr. Cupcake relaxes instantaneously. You snuggle him into your arms and are provided comfort from him, as well. His scaly flesh and jagged spine abrade your face, but you have never known a more soothing embrace. You plant a myriad of kisses and adoring nuzzles on Mr. Cupcake's skin. At the same time, you ignore the third wheel standing there.

Mike watches this and is nearly sick with want. Never in his life had he ever thought he'd wish to be an iguana this bad. The things he would give and the things he would take to be on the receiving end of your affections bridges off insanity.

Averting his gaze, he cannot watch the scene anymore. He had never expected to be so envious of a goddamn reptile. Mike grants you the time you want with that prickly bastard and leaves the basement. You hear the tumultuous clatter of all the locks and bolts being put into place once he is gone.

The time without Mike is something you do not take for granted. Silence is precious, solitude even more so. During his absence, you reel through the supercut of your life. You cannot find this man in any of your memories. You do not remember that face no matter how hard you try. He is the bad guy, the villain. The very definition of 'stranger-danger' you teach your students about.

When Mike returns, all of that disturbed turbulence comes with him.

In his hands is a cracked dinner plate with spaghetti and meatballs splat on top. The closer he gets, the faster your heart pumps. Setting the plate down on the bedside table, he takes your iguana from your tight hold. Mr. Cupcake still thrashes in his grasp, trying to bite and hit wherever he can. Good boy.

When the beast is locked away, Mike is idyllic to be alone with you again. He acts as though the current circumstances were romantic, where you and him are enjoying an amorous vacation. He then places the meal carefully in your lap, wary of the hot plate burning your precious skin.

"You need to eat, cub. You've been through so much. Too much." Mike's hand finds your face again, thumb caressing your cheek.

His mere words make you want to vomit your breakfast all over what is supposed to be your dinner. Still, you obey and begin eating. The dish is mediocre, at best. You've tasted better from the kitchen play set where your students wear chef hats and cook plastic food. Kidnapped and trapped in a basement, however, you'll take whatever scraps you can get.

Eyes glued to your plate, you do not watch as Mike takes a movie from the cabinet and pops it into the VCR. "The Immortal and the Restless" whirs to life as he returns to where you sit. Mike lays down beside you and joins you beneath the warm comforter. He takes the fork from your hands. A shiver cascades up his arm upon the faint contact made by your fingers touching. Oh, it is love. He then begins to feed you. There is nothing but sugary madness in his eyes.

Bite by bite, you are forced to watch soap operas and listen to nauseating love declarations.

"I was so alone out there without you, baby."

If only you hadn't been so fooled by a security vest and pretty brown eyes, you could be with your students right now. You could be free right now.

If only.

⁺ 🎧 , 🪷 you are currently listening to . . . ⁺ 🪺 , 🎵 ꪆ

❝ PRAYING STRAIGHT TO GOD THAT

MAYBE YOU'LL COME BACK AROUND . . . ❞

no one asked for this but idc hehe.

gif creds :: mike.

[bad-and-drawn-that-way]

Omfg I ate that Vox fic up! The one where he hypnotized the reader after a long fight of them nearly being taken from him. Can you do a part 2 please? Like when the reader eventually learns he basically forced them to sign the contract and they find a way to be immune to his hypnosis? He goes absolutely nuts despite literally owning their soul. He's canonically a control freak and seems to even have some yandere traits. I hope I'm not going against your rules! You don't have any posted so I just wanna ask! Thank you for being awesome! :D Don't hesitate to turn down this request. Write what makes you feel comfortable. Just please respond so I and everyone else knows not to make a similar request in the future. Lots of love!

ABSOLUTELY!! I did take this in a slightly different direction, but hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Lowkey thinking of doing a Vox POV of this later and maybe even a part three...

Vox isn't actually in this much, but I feel a loose actual plot coming together and this is what naturally flowed for me.

I hope y'all are ready for more angst... plus a cliff-hanger <3

More Than Anything Part 2 [Vox x Reader]

Part 1

Part 2.5

"You controlling prick!"

Vox ducked as you threw a pillow at him. Even in your righteous anger, you'd never actually truly try to hurt him, but by god were you pissed.

Despite Vox's obvious disdain for the Hazbin Hotel and its association with Alastor, you visited the hotel occasionally to catch up with your friend Angel Dust and give some much-deserved love to his pet pig Fat Nuggets. It was during one of these visits that you ran into Alastor, who immediately looked at you with disgust in his ever-present smile.

"Really now, my dear," he said as he shook his head in disapproval. "It's already enough of a shame that you have such poor taste in a romantic partner, but to give your soul to him as well? I thought you were smarter than that."

The overlord could see the aura of Vox's ever-annoying electric cords locked around your soul like chains. You'd been confused and his eye twitched with annoyance as he realized what Vox had done to you. To say you were livid after he explained that you'd been tricked was an understatement.

"Y/N, I'm sorry," Vox pleaded as you fumed at him in his room. "But you left me no other choice! You weren't listening to me and if I didn't bind your soul, then Satan knows what could have happened to you by now."

"Just because you don't fucking believe in my ability to look out for myself doesn't mean you get to just take my soul!" You screamed with hot, angry tears flowing down your face. You wipe at them, only crying harder at the frustration of the tears you couldn't control in your anger. You felt like they undermined your emotions.

Vox's magic sparked around him as he tried his best not to get angry and start a fight with you. He was terrified and was that much more susceptible to his angry tendencies in moments like these. It took everything in him to try and calm himself, not wanting to push you away further. His heart dropped and his blood ran cold as he saw you pull a large bag out of the closet and start shoving clothes into it.

"W-Where are you going?" Vox panicked as he crossed the room.

"The hotel," you said with quiet fury, as you stepped away from the closet and went to the nightstand with your personal things on it. "I need some space and it's the one fucking place I know you'd rather die again than follow me to."

"Ŷ̸̪͕o̸̢̿̿ū̷̫ ̶̬͂c̶̺̾͂a̴͒͘͜n̴̫̂̔'̶̡̉t̶͙̝̄͒," Vox said, his voice starting to glitch as his panic increased. "You've heard the news, the extermination is in a week and the angels plan on attacking there first. There's no guarantee they'll keep to the date after how much little miss dumbass pissed off heaven. It's not safe there."

You pull your bag over your shoulder and the look you gave him will haunt him for the rest of his afterlife. "It's safer than here."

It breaks him all the more when you shield your eyes from him and storm past him so he can't hypnotize you into staying. Vox is paralyzed with fear like never before. He wanted to scream, to beg, to stop you from leaving him, but he couldn't do anything as his system glitched so hard it forced him into a reboot. When he came to, he was alone. You were gone.

--

Charlie was more than willing to let you stay at the hotel. The two of you hadn't had the chance to really ever speak before, but she was always friendly when you came to visit Angel, even after you explained to her there was no way you'd be able to become a guest.

In exchange, you were happy to help set up the defenses against the extermination. You got to know all of the other members of the hotel and the work helped you push down the burning ache in your chest.

Vox had been trying to contact you nonstop. You eventually turned off your phone, driven insane by the wall of notifications of him begging you to respond in any way. He knew you were okay for the time being. He was literally connected to your soul. But as the extermination day grew closer, his panic only increased. If it wasn't for Valentino and Velvette holding him back, there were several times he genuinely would have set aside his pride and come to the hotel just to get you.

It was after helping Husk and Cherri put up a particularly tricky barrier with the dwindling supplies that Angel found you taking a break. He passed you a water which you took gratefully as he slid down the wall and joined you on the floor.

"So," he started. "Are we going to ever talk about the reason why you're hiding out here?"

"Do we have to?" You groan, running your fingers through your hair. Despite the smiles and laughter you'd been sharing with your newfound friends as you all prepared for the potential end of it all, the dark circles on your eyes gave away what was lurking underneath.

For as angry as you were at Vox, you missed him. You missed feeling him curl against you in bed. You missed being woken up at unholy hours early in the morning because Vox couldn't start his day without giving you a kiss and telling you how much he loved you. You missed his shitty taste in shows and how he'd collapse into your arms after a long day at work.

Angel sighed, looking at the boarded-up lobby. "Look I may not get it, but you love the guy, right? Are you really content with possibly dying in a couple of days for a cause you're not even a part of, just because you're pissed with him?"

"He stole my soul, Angie" You frown at him.

"And that is fucked up as hell," he agrees. "But I know you and I know there ain't no way in hell you're actually satisfied leaving shit like this."

"I just-," you start before groaning. "How the hell are we supposed to come back from this? I doubt he'd ever void the contract. He's too convinced he's right for that."

Angel sighed, setting his own cup aside. "Honestly toots, you're not gonna like it, but... He kinda has a point."

You whip your head up to look at him and he holds up his hands defensively. "Not saying that stealing your soul was the right call. Believe me, if anyone gets how fucked it is having your soul controlled by a sociopath with a big ego, it's me. But you're not exactly in the safest of places, dollface. Not to mention, you're dating an overlord who's in a trio determined to piss off as many big shots as possible. His mind may not be in the right place, but his heart kinda is."

You take Angel's words to heart and sigh as you bury your face in your arms. "I hate it, but you're right... I just... I don't want to hold him back. I don't want to be the person that needs to be protected. I want to be his equal, not his problem."

"Then tell him that," Angel sighs. His gaze drifts to the bar and smiles fondly. "Someone recently has taught me how important being real with yourself is. It's okay to be flawed. No one got stuck in this shithole cause we were perfect, y'know?"

He nudged you with a grin as he added, "Plus, come on. Can you imagine how many bitches in hell would kill to have a sexy fucker that wants nothing more than to love ya and keep ya safe? I love you toots, but for fucks sake, pick a struggle."

You snort, shaking your head as you lightly swat at his arm. "Fuck you for being right about shit all the time."

"It's one of my best assets," Angel smirked. "Y'know, aside from all the fluff."

You laughed as he puffed up his chest and by the end of the evening, you'd decided to head back. As much as you loved Angel and wanted nothing more than to be by his side as the extermination drew near, he had a point. This wasn't your fight and there was a controlling dumbass that had been blowing up your phone ever since you left that was praying for your return.

After exchanging promises to see each other after the extermination, you left the hotel. You had an idiot to see.

[theoddityherself]

TLOU HBO S2E4 REVIEW:

This has been my least favorite episode of the four and a lot of you might not like what I have to say but I do not care. I did not enjoy this episode as much as I hoped I would and I even considered giving up on the show after watching it because the direction of the writing legit pissed me off.

Dina and Ellie:

So many of you were confidently pulling out the term slowburn as an excuse for the writing when it came to Dina in episode 3. The writing completely went against that in episode 4. Not only was it not slowburn but everything that happened in that theater felt rushed and out of character. The fact that they turned a scene that was supposed to show relationship conflicts between Ellie and Dina, because not everything is perfect in their relationship, and is also supposed to show how Ellie is spiraling as she's trying to seek revenge for Joel's murder, the scene in the show did the complete opposite of that. They took the seriousness out of the scene by having Dina point a gun at Ellie just to turn around and reveal her pregnancy and then have sex in the theater.

Also I know a lot of people aren't going to want to hear this but show Dina and Ellie have no more development than game Dina and Ellie. A lot of you like to say that the show developed their relationship so much more than the game did. It didn't. Dina and Ellie kiss at the winter dance, they go on a patrol together, Joel dies and all we know is that Dina visits Ellie while she's in the hospital, they go to Seattle together and rate their kiss in a tent, Ellie sings to Dina, Ellie gets bit and Dina finds out she's a immune, Dina tells Ellie that she's pregnant for Jesse, they have sex. Where exactly is the development for their relationship?

You can definitely tell that a man is writing their romance...

Urgency:

And that brings me to the lack of urgency in this show. Ellie seems like she's in absolutely no rush to avenge Joel. She's doesn't even look like she's emotionally going through anything. Nothing about how they're writing Ellie in this show really reflects how much Joel's passing affects her aside from the bits and pieces they gave us in episode 3. Ellie looks like she doesn't have a care in the world. I feel like the show is doing a piss poor job of truly portraying somebody who's to get revenge, is suffering from the trauma of watching the most important person in their life be murdered and is truly losing it as she looks for Abby throughout Seattle.

Dina:

Can people stop saying that Dina is more fleshed out in this show than she is in the game? Dina is out of character in the show and what fleshing out she's had has been related to all the relationships she has with other people; Joel, Jesse and Ellie. Not one thing about Dina herself has really been dabbled into. They haven't talked about her religion, more about her mom, her sister or her life before she met Ellie. Even in episode 4 her character was still mainly focused on the relationship between her and Ellie. As of right now Dina's character still revolves around Ellie. She has not been expanded on whatsoever.

Also before anyone brings up the fact that this is an adaptation. I know, but HBO is quite literally known for not respecting the source material even when they have access to their creators, this is currently happening with House of the Dragon. It's very obvious to me that they could have easily adapted the second game into a show without making major changes to the characters, personality traits, core elements, etc., but they just didn't care enough to try and adapt this game with same love and care that they gave the first game and first season.

I'm also starting to feel like a lot of you have forgotten that the last of us is not a romance and that anger, grief and trauma that Ellie went through is very important. It's definitely not something that she should be written out or overshadowed.

[tako-cafe]

Omegaverse AU

ground work: Betas = they are just a guy. They get to have average sex and development. You also can exhibit traits physically and in personality of one or the other. Omega does = having pussy in this,but gender and genitals are not related. The boys are still boys basically. Heat and rut are on a once a month cycle like a period. Alpha -> Omega is a spectrum in this. also im not adding in ortho, he couldn't have one anyway

Staff:

Trein is an omega but he hasn't been able to have a heat in a few years by now. He raised the girls still as always. Though him being heatless has not stopped Crewel from cornering him many times over.

Crewel is an alpha and I feel like it was so obvious. He is peak material for going all in on the animal instincts too. He hasn't claimed anyone as his partner but does kinda sleep around to keep his rut in check (including bending over Crowley and Trein) He can be a little more aggressive and strict but he isn't cruel. He just likes obedient subs.

spoilers Crowley is an Omega yeah. His headmage work is him trying to compensate by being in a position of power, but he also refuses to do anything to help or suppress his heat so Crewel ends up in his office every time.

I was between what to do with Sam but I leaned to Alpha with a lighter rut. He is one of the few who can actually work through his without much of an issue. Lower sex drive + he's just good at staying busy.

Vargas is a beta. Everyone stereotyped him as an alpha. No, He's just kinda like that...

Heartslabyul:

Riddle is a beta and everything he does in canon was him thinking he had to compensate for not being the best at birth (alpha) like his mom was.

Trey an alpha and we all know it. I'm just correct.

Cater is an omega but he has something wrong where he goes into heat double the amount he's meant to. Instead of once a month his is twice a month. (Trey being his roommate is very helpful in this) Cater and Trey have somewhat synced up cycles. Trey is synced up to the early on in the month one, he chooses to help Cater through the one later on.

Ace is an omega and he is pissed about it. He hates it. His brother is an alpha and absolutely puts down omegas so it gave Ace a lot of issues around him being one.

Deuce is an alpha only because I thought it was funny since Ace would hate it. Deuce and Ace have accidentally synced up heat and rut cycles being roommates. Ace tries to play it off that he can handle his heat alone but ends up having Deuce help him every month.

Savanaclaw:

Leona is an obvious alpha but he's an example of a power bottom one. He doesn't really top much/at all. He is in control, but just from under his partner.

Speaking of partner his current one is omega Ruggie. Ruggie doesn't mind doing so much work because he can sometimes convince Leona to let him use a strap. Leona won't admit he does like it a lot.

Jack is not only an omega but that man is destined to be a house husband one day. Whoever he bonds with is lucky because he will be super dedicated and loving to his mate.

Octavinelle:

Tweels are both alphas and the ones who ended up the most aggressive in rut out of anyone. the mermen have a little quirk as well that they aren't limited to one bond so each of them seek out multiple partners like prey. little spoilers but they do share Azul. Floyd has hands and everything else in Ace and Jamil. Jade has a slightly smaller sex drive so he's only sought out Epel when he can't have Azul. Both of them are synced up.

Azul like I said is an omega the tweels have claimed from very early on (and someone else has as well but we will get there) He started his heat fairly young and the tweels found him knew they'd never be bored again. Embarrassingly for Azul seeing them in that state made him ink..which the tweels never let him live down. Mermen also have their own cycle which has them working on a 3 week schedule. Azul while seeming like someone who would take a suppressant only doesn't because the tweels got it in his head he's just be weak again if he can't work through his heat. After all what if he can't fill it one day? He needs to learn to handle it and stop being so pathetic and whiny when it hits. (He does not learn)

Scarabia:

I'll start with Jamil since I already said he's an omega. He is our first one who's on some form of suppressant. He just forgets to take it more often than not from working so much. Between school and Kalim he neglects himself fairly often in this aspect. These times are when he regrets it since Floyd always seeks him out..

Kalim is another beta. I'm going as far as his whole family always has been too. They are a rare family who has only ever been beta's. They only remained in power off their impressive wealth really. I did keep the magic system in this so his families rise to wealth is the same as canon.

Pomefiore:

Vil is an omega and also on heat suppressants and has been since his first one. He keeps a strict schedule on taking them because of his work. The only time he can't is if they can't be filled on time which has caused a rare issue.

Epel will be an omega..he just is a late bloomer. He's hoping he gets to go into rut but he won't and he is going to hate going into heat. His heat is going to start during spelldrive of all places as well so he's in for a real fun time when he finally has his first one.

So I debated between alpha or beta for Rook..both have merits for me but I landed on alpha if only for the idea he would be terrifying. You think his senses are scary strong now? He can smell across the whole campus and tell you who's in heat at any and all times. He's fairly soft with Vil, but oh he is rough on Epel. Rook is one I don't think he's going to bond with a mate..he is however going to hunt down any omega like prey. The hunter prefers a game over being settled down.

Ignihyde:

Idia is a fun case for us. He's an alpha with an omega personality. He is just as pathetic and whiny as Azul but in a way he comes off so self-deprecating instead. He hate's he isn't a beta because it would be so much easier than this stupid rut. His curse renders all suppressants useless so he can't even take anything to help. He's taken his rut out on Azul more than he's like to admit but really is it his fault Azul smells so good? He isn't proud of it and he doesn't like it and he makes it known. Calls himself "filthy" "a disgusting otaku" "just a perverted loser" He's such a boyfail and Azul hates its hot. They aren't together though, Idia isn't sure he can bond and Azul sure as hell does not want to be bonded when he's so ambitious.

Diasomnia:

Getting our beta out the way. It's Silver. No funky pheromones for the princess boy I'm sorry guys.

Sebek though? Omega and PISSED. It was bad enough he isn't even fully fae and now hes also not the alpha? He does however lean more to the alpha personality but some of that was a product of how he was raised. It's more common for his type of fae to be alphas so even when an omega pops up they tend to still have a few lingering personality traits of an alpha.

Lilia is an omega that old man twink is breedable baby. Or I should say used to be breedable he stopped getting heats about a hundred or so years ago. Bat fae are nearly all omega's so it wasn't a shock that he was, but it was deeply loved by Baur who definitely had his fun with the general~ Old man yaoi for the win

Predictably Malleus is an alpha but because it wasn't someone from his family who finally hatched him but instead Lilia he ended up with some omega personality traits. He can get a little sentimental about his object of affection. He's a little pathetic as a treat.

[plasmara]

ok but seriously. dr s3 was not a season it was a fic generator in disguise. LIKE THEY GAVE US SOOOO MUCH. and now I’m drowning in fic ideas with zero ability to commit to just one so here’s a brain dump (but jay edition because i wrote them all out and accidentally hit one thousand million words):

so. the obvious one is jaya. Duhhhhh. just jaya in general. jaya angst. They r so tragic now and i want it all. the absolute disaster of it. i want every version

give me nya trying to flirt her way back in like “hey, remember me? your girlfriend? the love of your life? jay. jay. JAY.” and jay’s like “okay first of all i barely remember ur name.” he’s being stubborn about not catching feelings, and she’s being even worse about refusing to take the hint coz if she can’t win him back with love she is Absolutely going to do it with sheer persistence and mild emotional terrorism

and kai keeps trying to give her advice but fumbling bad bitches is a genetic trait and they’re both diseased

OKAY AND JAY. IN GENERAL. OBVIOUSLY

i need his pov through the whole season. the fallout after what happened w ras and how he was well and truly Abandoned with a capital a HE HAD NO ONE . him trying to piece himself together without his memories. and how he rediscovers like the little things that made him HIM. the inventing. the way he starts tinkering with stuff without even thinking. the terrible jokes and the way he needs to lighten the mood even when everything’s falling apart. HOW HE MAKES A NAME FOR HIMSELF and is just really his own person. i loveeeeeee how they didn’t just brush it off like yea he’s doing his own thing now whateverrrr. like they went into specifics (ish) and i feel like it rlly added to his personality

AND THEN him trying to trust this group of strangers who keep looking at him like he MATTERS. like they KNOW him. and he’s just like “ok cool cool cool i don’t Know any of u but sure.”

he keeps saying he’s fine when he’s literally NOT. cracking jokes like it’s instinct but they don’t land right. he laughs and then immediately wants to curl into a corner and disappear. BUT HE CANT CONFIDENIN ANY OF THEKNBECAUSE HE DOESNT KNOWNTHEM!!!!!! side note he clearly knows a LOT (based off how he knew about arin’s parents instantly) BUT HE DIDNT VOLUNTEER THAT INFO UNTIL RIGHT AT THE END AND HE KEPT IT ALL TO HIMSELF FOR SO LONG. HE DOESJT TALK ANYMORE!!!!! HES NOT USED TO TALKING WITH ANYONE ABOUT ANYTHINGN AND HES PROBABLY GOT SONMUCH REPRESSED AND KEPT LOCKED UP AND AGHHHHHH!!!! omg someone take this boy to therapy

AND THEN GIVE ME A WHOLSE SEPARATE FIC ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH TOUCH NOW. because this kid was THE most touchy out of the team. he was always throwing himself at people BUT .now. Now he flinches whenever anyone moves too quickly towards him and they all have to keep reminding themselves of it. FUCK!!!!!!

and specifically cole because let’s be honest bruise’s love language is physical touch and it’s killing cole not to be able to be near him. AND ACTUALLY BECAUSE COLE ISNSO TOUCHY jay avoids him the most and it’s like. That’s ur best friend………. WHAT R U DOING. and everyone thought just FINDING jay would be the hardest part but actually this is and they don’t know what to do

okay and. Well. plasma. Like sorry u all knew this was coming. i have to live up to the plasmara name after all its in the contract. and i Love them but I don’t want to write angst for them in this context I just think it would be so funny to have kai hardcore crushing on his sister’s ex fiancée and even funnier to have jay somehow like him back. Like he just takes whatever kai tells him at face value and thinks yup.. this is the one i Trust. just hears kai say “yeah you were totally into me” ONE TIME as a joke or in a moment of panic and he fully believes it cos he’s got the memory of a damp sponge. Like. “oh. yeah. that checks out. i must have been with you. makes sense. ur hot” And after kai finishes freaking out he decides yup THIS IS MY CHANCE!! nya u had him for years. It’s MY turn now

and he is now committed to the bit with his whole chest. takes every opportunity to “remind” jay how deeply in love he was.

“you used to call me hot stuff.”

“no i didn’t.”

“you don’t remember, jay.”

And worst part is it works because jay is just like… “well he seems to have a good balance between nice and pathetically obsessed and my standards are a mystery to me so sure???”

[depravitycentral]

I've only watched the first season of jjk and frankly I despise Mahito, but god the yandere potential is just too damn good to ignore.

He's provocative, doing anything and everything he can to get a rise out of you.

Though honestly, creepy would be a more accurate description. Even for a curse, Mahito shows a remarkable disregard for the desires of others. He’s a selfish, morbid creature, and although there’s something dark, twisted, and sick blooming in his chest for you, this doesn’t change the core traits of his personality. It doesn’t change what he is, what he’s capable of, what he enjoys doing – and unfortunately for you, his infatuation with you means that every ounce of his time, attention, and curiosity is channeled directly at you.

And even from the beginnings of your unwilling ‘relationship’ with him, this will be uncomfortably obvious.

Catching his attention is a difficult, nebulous thing, but once you’ve managed to snag it, you’ll never shake it off. Very early on he’s attached to your hip, following you around and always, always blabbering on and on about this and that, asking you all sorts of questions that leave you simultaneously disgusted and exasperated.

(Questions like hey, if you had to eat another human, where would you start? Questions like when you menstruate, can you feel it coming out of you? Describe it to me – and show it to me too, okay? I can smell that you’re currently in that phase, what do you mean you won’t take your pants off right now? Why does it matter that we’re in a grocery store? Maybe they'd like to watch too.)

He’s irritating and strange, and you’ll know that there’s something seriously wrong with him without ever even needing to see him using his cursed energy.

And as he grows more attached and invests more time and curiosity in you, a rather disturbing situation begins unfolding – you absolutely did not invite Mahito to live with you, but he doesn’t seem to understand that you don’t want him in your apartment every moment of the day.

When you wake up in the mornings, he’s standing over your bed, face so close to yours that he can feel your breaths against his cold lips, his own stretching wider than humanly possible to morph into a grin that immediately has you awake and alert.

He’ll follow you around your modest apartment as you get ready for work, those mismatched eyes of his glued to your figure watching as you get dressed, your movements hurried and uncomfortable because why the fuck is he looking at you like that?

And he’s not quiet about it either – he’s commenting the whole time, talking about how he’s read that the discharge stains visible on your underwear are a sign that you have good vaginal health.

He’s telling you that you really should tighten up the straps on your bra – all the Playboy magazines and borderline pornos he’s seen in theaters always have the women wearing very perky bras, and shouldn’t you be insecure about that like most human women?

(He’s quick to point out that yours aren’t perky, but rather some other description, something much less flattering and much more damaging.)

He’ll watch as you brush your teeth, tilting his head like some sort of animal as those mismatched eyes take in your every movement, a smile slowly forming on his lips that makes something heavy and sick sit in the base of your stomach.

Immediately after you’re done, practically before you’ve finished spitting out the toothpaste, he’s immediately snatching the brush and settling it against his own tongue, twirling around the bristles against his teeth and tongue as he hums. He’s narrating the taste to you, telling you that it’s minty but also a bit sweet and earthy, his cheeks hollowing out as he sucks at the bristles and giggles. He’ll follow you around with that damn toothbrush in his mouth, staying glued to your heel like some oversized, murderous puppy.

He’s touching your breakfast as you cook it, a finger reaching in to burst the yolk of your fried egg, a thumb and pointer finger reaching into the toaster to squish and pinch at a section of your toast so that it’s cracked and crumbly and has the imprint of his fingerprints against it.

He’s slipping in through the bottom crack of the door as you use the toilet, peeking up at you and smiling too widely, asking you if it feels good when you urinate? I’ve heard that some women think it feels good to hold it in. Next time you have to go, get me first. I want to see how long you can hold it for.

And as time passes, it only becomes worse – he gets more invasive, more pushy, wanting to insert himself into every possible aspect of your life because you’re just so fascinating and the way you respond to him is just so delicious. He’s still forcing you to share intimate supplies like toothbrushes and underwear.

(Though he never returns the underwear clean after stealing them for a few days. There’s always a multitude of mysterious stains in colors you don’t understand – you can handle the very obvious cum stains, albeit begrudgingly and with bile rising up your throat, but what the hell had he been doing that resulted in bright orange stains?)

He’s still asking you all sorts of questions about extremely personal topics, blinking at you with all the innocent curiosity in the world, making you feel like the crazy one for being uncomfortable when asked how many fingers you’ve ever managed to stuff inside yourself and oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to ask – have you ever tried fisting? I bet I could put a finger inside you and then just expand it bigger and bigger until it’s the size of my fist or maybe even more. That sounds fun! Let’s do that. Right now.

He’ll be standing next to you as you brush your hair or brush over it, watching intently and prying the brush out of your hands, pulling at the caught strands and plopping them into his mouth, swishing the hairs around before audibly swallowing them, licking his lips and running off to the shower to find any stray hairs against the tiled walls.

(He won’t verbally explain this particular habit to you, but it stems from a strange, possessive desire to have a piece of you inside of him, the concept of having your DNA within his body making him strangely giddy. He refuses to touch or alter your soul simply because he doesn’t want to change anything about you, and this feels the closest he can get in place of it. The closest he can get to you.)

He’ll open up your makeup bag and drawer, digging with grubby fingers and opening each and every product, smearing a bit across his wrist and returning it back uncapped, occasionally grabbing sticks of lipstick and letting his tongue run across the pigmented product, teeth sinking down as he takes a bite, face twisting up a bit because yuck, it tastes like chemicals!

He’ll grab your makeup brushes and run them along the areas of his body that he’s read are the main production points of pheromones, some raunchy article he’d read claiming that women are highly affected by them and are subconsciously attracted to them.

(The brush gets rubbed across his underarms and navel, a few silver, curly hairs getting stuck in the brush bristles that he figures only imbues more of his natural scent into the tool.)

And Mahito isn’t at all shy about doing any of these things in front of you – in fact, he actively encourages you to look, telling you that it’s good to be honest with each other, that it’s sweet how interested you are in what he’s doing, even if that interest manifests as you angrily yelling at him and begging him to stop being such a freak.

Really, Mahito consciously learns about human societal standards and perceptions of privacy and actively breaks them when it comes to you. He likes to see how far he can push you, just how much you can take before you start crumbling.

He wants to understand what makes you tick, how you function, what your biggest fears are, the order you eat your food, the way you breath, how you sniffle and hiccup when you're crying.

He's a freak in every sense of the word, and once he's grown any sort of attachment to you, he's like a parasite that you just can't get rid of. He'll feed off of you, growing greedier and greedier, but still somehow managing to find some new way to humiliate you, some new way to get you angry enough to scream and lash out at him but terrified enough to stop yourself.

And oh, seeing that look on your face when you're angry enough you could cry makes him feel so, so very good, all the blood rushing south and making him tell you in that sing-songy, too-chipper voice of his to give me your panties you're wearing right now, but stay here. It's better when you watch.

He's the worst, in every sense of the word.

[sunboki]

CYCLE IN, CYCLE OUT. ⎯ a short Minho fiction

Lee Minho x gn. reader

• trope. established relationship, fluffy, comfort

• word count. 0.6k

• notes. felt vv in love w our favorite MC on these 2 kids shows…

Lee Minho had a scheduled routine. He’d arrive from practice, unload his bag, fix himself a drink, and set up at his desk for the night. It was easy, normal. Occasionally, a beloved feline would climb itself into his lap, curled up while the man continued to work for a few more hours.

But, as he slowly opened the door only to witness you, passed out asleep where he usually sat, he can’t help but feel surprised.

And here Minho was thinking his butt was going to be the only thing making an imprint.

Your cheek, smushed into the skin of your forearm earns a quieted coo, his tone amusedly comforting when you grumble your dismay upon being poked. Time and time again he’s reminded of how enamoring you are. …Even when there’s drool smeared on your chin.

“Min…” You whine, half-asleep expression knitting with obvious frustration. He carefully (as if you weighed nothing) rolled the chair back, leaving just enough space that he could fit in between and see you face level.

Ducking down, Minho smiles giddily, head tipped to the side just like Soonie does, curious.

“Mm Bubby? What’re you doing sweetness?” He’d whisper, index tenderly swiping some saliva from off your slightly parted lips.

Good sleep, he thinks, chuckling to himself. You’re too cute for him to handle.

And if you had to name one trait of Minho’s you absolutely adore, right now it’d be is ability to turn on that “lovey-dovey” mode. That sugarcoated, saccharine voice he spoke to the kitties with.

It made you melt, even while barely conscious.

“..Bed…” You say, the words coming out as more of a grumble than anything, though your boyfriend seemed to translate no problem.

“Bed? Is my Y/n sleepy?” He teased, waiting to see if your biting ego takes action to no avail.

Minho, eyes softening, already begins shuffling his arms beneath your elbows, a reassuring peck to the outside of your lips causing you to involuntary grin — one that’s quickly returned.

Wrapping your legs around his waist like a tree-hugging Koala, a sturdy hand finds purchase on the back of your thigh, another sweeping disheveled strands of hair away from your eyes along the way.

You both release loud sighs of utmost relief upon flopping down onto the bed, his fingers nimbly unhooking the clasp of your bra while removing his shirt, allowing either of you supreme comfort. Not sexual nor inviting (not like you had any energy anyway), but familiar, loving.

“Long day?” You muttered, his equally familiar palms slipping beneath your top, simply resting atop your stomach. His groan is enough of an answer, breath deepening, eyelashes dusting closed.

Minho habits most people aren’t aware of? He’s touchy. Touchy in terms of wanting to know you’re there, feel you beside him while he sleeps whether that’s his knee wedged between your legs or a chin nuzzled into your shoulder when you wake up.

You love it. The sore shoulder blades, him kicking you from a nightmare, it’s always enjoyable.

You wouldn’t take it back for the world.

Before he would’ve stayed hunched over work for hours, graced by the enjoyable yet lonesome company of his kitties awaiting an unseen bedtime. Cycle in, cycle out.

Except, the first day you walked into his apartment, that loophole routine changed, drastically.

And for the better.

Like tonight, curled up around you like a protective blanket, his hair tickling the back of your neck, chest flush against the expanse of your bare back.

You understand each other, understand without having to say anything. Unspoken consideration, love. Consuming love.

Hard work, busy schedules, nonstop. But arriving home and finding you filling that once empty space, you who he loved with everything in his being, made everything feel worth it.

sunboki, may 2022 ©

[thechekhov]

Dungeon Meshi Quick Reacts: CH40

Laios is apparently only good at drawing monsters.

You guys have no faith in him! Come onnnn

To that point, if the shapeshifters that are left are the most similar to the real selves, doesn't that prove that Laios actually knows them best? The other, easily-discounted shapeshifters were easily singled out as fakes because they were so caricature like.

The remaining fakes are just minutely different from the real selves. Chilchuk has slightly larger eyes, Marcille's hair is thinner, and Senshi has sharper features. What that says to me is that Laios is actually the BEST at reconstructing them in his mind.

Unfortunately, that. Kinda makes it harder.

Welll.......yeah. No, that makes sense.

This is a problem you all created 😂

This is legitimately making me question everything. Because like... Marcille A is acting pretty sus. But they've been through a lot, so maybe she's just depressed?

Oooooooh someone minmaxed into gayness. That's certainly a dependable strategy.

FAKE!!!!! He's the fake! Senshi would never deplete an ecosystem completely like that!!!!

ah yes, all sorts of nutrition. White rice is known for its nutrition like...... (looks at smeared writing on hand) carbohydrates and scant amounts of folates. Yep.

HE IS HANDSOME, BUT NOT "B"!! "A" IS ALSO HANDSOME!! THEY'RE BOTH HANDSOME!

.......guys. GUYYS.

Laios, you're such an absolute loser and I love you but please. Please turn on the autism. Just this once, please turn on the autism beam and point it at your friends. Please

"all of them! Everyone is fake! Including me!"

Wouldn't that be a plot twist.

why are both the chillchucks upset at this suggestion? shouldn't the real ones be relieved?

Illusions with physical traits, though? Is that not obvious once you start roughing it up with it? If something can be physical enough to fight, why not just use that thing to overpower the adventurer, then?

....so it's a vampire created illusion?

Okay, so because I saw someone else post this page to my dash about a week ago I'm actually fully aware of what comes next, and I can say with certainty that it does not ruin it. At all.

I gotta say, as a weird little kid that practiced barking like a dog and mimicking dog howls, this is making me feel SO SEEN. He's just like me fr.

And the fact that they're all supporting his talent........friendship is magic.

I'm so intrigued by this man and how his mind works.

Love is not letting your dumbass furry friend climb into the wolf enclosure at the zoo and try to fight the alpha of the pack.

This is. So real. I've never seen a manga commit SO MUCH to the weird little man trope, and I love Kui-san so much for this. This is true representation.

Dumbass recognizes dumbass. This is why they're friends.

I WAS WONDERING ABOUT THAT. I also didn't remember it!

Oh, hmm.....

I'm relatively certain the hand that Marcille grasped in the last chapter WAS the cat's hand. That means the cat followed them - but because no one knew she was there, the shapeshifter didn't create any illusions of her. That means she was just hiding out, observing everything.

Is she just sleeping in there curled up on the rice?

Ahhh, so it was a distraction.

[soodoonimin]

Logan Howlett and animal instincts (or in other words my long winded analysis of a comic book character)

So before I start, just know that I have read a lot of comics but I don't know everything. I can take notes all day long but I have a bad memory and comics are confusing so please be nice and enjoy, this took a lot of effort to put together, it’s mostly my thoughts on the character as I read the the comic books. The movie character is a lot different and I will also probably do something like this for movie Logan as well (though it will be significantly shorter).

Also there are some pictures that have blood and body horror so beware.

What does it mean to be human? Well that's a question we as humans have been trying to answer since we could think to ask it and ever since then we've never been able to give a fully conclusive answer. Why? you may ask, well because think about it like this, the traits we most often associate with humanity (higher thinking, creativity, empathy, and love) may not and some times do not always exists solely within us when applied to fiction, we write whole stories about how robots can be human too, how aliens can be human etc etc as long as they have these traits (more or less) AND LOOK I'm not going to get into a whole philosophical discussion about the nature of humanity on Tumblr.com but I do want to take a second to talk about how those traits are applied to Logan and how he has to fight to prove his humanity.

So mutants are an oppressed people but being a mutant isn't always the same for everyone. You can be a mutant like Rouge who can kill people with a single touch or mutant like Storm who can bend the weather to your will (the most obvious example). You can be a mutant like Jean with no obvious physical signs of your mutation or you can be a mutant like Kurt, where 9/10 people think you’re a demon of some kind.

But what happens when you're a mutant like Logan Howlett? I mean you look human enough, sure you're a little more hairy than most people, you have fangs, you smell, and oh yeah the claws but those are retractable so overall....you're just a normal person right? Nothing you can’t hide, right? Yeah, for the most part, yeah. But there are a couple of other things about you that someone might not know from looking at you, you have an extraordinary healing factor, you have almost animal like senses and when you are pushed to your absolute brink you go into a monstrous like a rage and kill everything in sight.

For every gift Logan was born with theres a very real curse attached to each one.

Healing Factor: Logan still feels pain, the healing factor isn’t just limited to his body but it also messes with his memories, and more importantly he’s lived a very long life. In The End comic and Old Man Logan comic etc, when he’s out lived most of the world, he’s miserable.

Keen senses: Seems great, until they’re exploited, imagine what being able to smell and see and hear that well all the time without relief must be like. Imagine not being able to tell when someone is going to die? Or when they’re lying or when they haven’t showered etc. sure you might get used to it like you might get used to pain but that doesn’t make it pleasant.

Claws: Need to really touch on this one? Aside from the obvious please remember that Logan’s claws aren’t in his knuckles but in his fucking forearms so when using them he needs to make an effort to direct them or….

Berserker rage: great to get you out of a pinch but you can’t control it. (We’ll talk more about this later)

Most people don’t see these very real downsides of Logan’s mutation, they just see a small, angry guy, who’s good at fighting and can take a hit better than almost anyone.

Here’s what worse, a lot of people (X-men included) don't see, they don't all the ways Logan hates himself (and those who do don’t see the depths of that hate he has for himself). They don't see the scared little boy whose father was killed in front of him. They don't see that little boy who killed his father's murderer and was abandoned by all but one person for one person (Rose). They don't see the young man who accidentally killed his first love while trying to protect her from his brother. They don't see the man who lived a relatively miserable life being plucked up by a group of people who only saw him as something to be experimented on. They don’t see the man who believes that if he loves someone he's destine to hurt them in one way or another because he has multiple times over (even if it wasn’t always his fault). They don’t see that for all the times that they call Logan an animal, he already believes them and he’s called himself worse many times over.

(Deep down he truly believes he deserves be to alone, especially in death. That would be his “deserved” hell. Eternal loneliness.)

Which is funny because I think Logan goes back and forth in deciding on whether or not he has any humanity in him in the first place. See in the Black, White and Blood comic, the FIRST story told in this series, is an account of Logan’s time at Weapon X and we get this…interaction:

Pourquoi tu me fais ça?///Why are you doing this to me? This "monster" asks him this on the cusp of death....

(Moments during the Weapon X program, be they real memories or not, when Logan’s humanity shone through)

And THIS almost immediately snaps him out of mind control he's under going. I don't know if he understood the words per say but I think even if he didn't, he still understood the plea on a human level. Because it wasn’t Weapon X who responded, it wasn’t the berserker, or Wolverine. It was Logan Howlett. It was a moment of humanity that broke the conditioning he’d been put through that answered that plea and stopped him. Because if you think about it, if these two memories actually are real, that means that Logan recognized this plea as the same one gave to the scientists. Now determining what did or didn't happen during the Weapon X program is difficult to parse out because they implanted false memories. BUT regardless of that there was always a part of him that held onto his humanity. But I think that just adds to the horror of it all. Imagine not being able to know what memories are yours and which ones are not? So let me ask, even if those memories are “false” does that make them any less real? Does that mean that Logan suffered any less under their stewardship? He was still kidnapped, he was still experimented on, still tortured. He still had the adimantium grafted onto his bones, he was still made into a living puppet and was still seen as nothing more than a weapon, an animal, a monster by the very people who were doing all of this to him and in some respects they are the reason he is seen as a monster by others.

At the end of that comic (where he was momentarily snapped out of his conditioning) he states that no his humanity wasn’t stolen from him but he still lives with that guilt of everything he can’t remember and the things he can remember are unreliable.

I know a lot of people haven’t read the comics so I’m not trying to do annoying about it BUT if you get the opportunity to PLEASE go read The Weapon X comic (by Berry Windsor-Smith) & Wolverine’s first limited series run (by Chris Claremont).

I specifically say that second one because I think the story that’s told is probably one of the more interesting told for Logan because of the relationship he has with Yukio and Mariko. I’m not going to get too deep into it because I really think you should read it for yourself but the basic outline of it is that where Mariko loves the man, Yukio loves the “monster”. And when he’s initially trying to court Mariko it’s his attempts to in a sense to court humanity but he fails and when he turns to Yukio. And for her part it’s not just as simple as her loving the “monster” but more than she goads it out of him, for thematic reasons and plot reasons. But needless to say, they both love Logan but they both love an incomplete version of him. (It’s a really good story and it’s literally what sold me on the idea of reading through any of the older comics.)

Anyway, (in the comics and movies especially) some people solely see him as a man with an uncontrollable side that they’d run from at the first sign of aggression and others only want that animalistic side and don’t love the man that Logan is. The thing is, he is both of those things. Think about it like this. As humans we like to think ourselves above the food chain, we like to think of ourselves as *more* than animals. And sure we’re definitely one of the most successful species of animals on Earth and we definitely don’t act on instincts in the same way most animals do, we’ve created society and rules and we do things a lot different than other animals but we are still animals.

So Logan isn’t both a man and an animal anymore than you or me. But he is a man that is more in touch with those animal instincts than the rest of us (bc of his mutation). Which I think is why when he does act on those instincts, people see him as less, because we (yes even comic book characters for this argument) only seem associate those traits with animals, with something lesser than ourselves.

The thing is, being “an animal” doesn’t need to be an insult or a condemnation of any kind. Humans are still animals but humans are still kind, and caring, humans have still created beautiful art and music and food and architecture and have got to the stars will probably go beyond the stars all while still being an “animal”.

So I think where most people get hung up on word “animal” is because it has such a negative connotation when applied to humans. And thus that negative connotation basically perpetuates itself so the only time we call other humans animals is when we mean to attack their humanity.

So back to Logan. Imo, there is no better example of this than the way people, Logan included, treat his (and subsequently him) berserker rage. Logan describes it as a monster that shares his soul, something else inside him, the real thing that makes him a monster, something that he doesn’t like, something he’s scared of, something he can’t always control but that he does everything in his power to keep away from the people he loves. Because Logan doesn’t like to kill, he doesn’t like hurting people. He might be good at it, he might be known for it but that doesn’t mean he likes it. Even when he thinks death is a deserved punishment, he isn't ever happy about having to kill. And he even says as much at one point in the comics.

And as a real quick aside, but this is almost exactly what sets him apart from Victor Creed. They're both men whose mutation gives them heightened animal like traits. The only difference is that Logan is ashamed of those parts of himself especially when they pertain to violence where Victor likes it, enjoys it; he goes out of his way for violence.

(If there is more to Victor Creed than meets the eye please tell me bc I gotta say I don’t actually know too much about him except that any time I see him in any Wolverine media I immediately laugh bc I know the two around to brawl. And I’m almost never wrong lmao)

And mind you there are times when Logan is also a hammer in the sense that he tends to punch his way through most of his problems. But he doesn't go out of his way for it in the same way Victor does despite having every reason to.

Logan has killed people but unlike Victor he isn't a killer. Even if that's what he's "the best at".

So when he goes into this specific rage that labels him a monster (an animal) it’s almost always in front of someone he loves and it’s almost always in a moment when he’s trying to prove his humanity (when it’s being used thematically and not for plot convenience). Like if you go read the comics 9 times out 10 when Logan is being called a monster or animal by some scientist or an enemy looking to humiliate him. But it’s almost always in the mitts of a life or death situation. A situation that anyone would fight light hell to get out of even with an amazing healing factor like Logan’s.

Because he still feels pain.

He still wants to survive.

He still feels.

And at the end of it all, he feels ashamed and horrified with himself and he'll always have to live with that guilt and shame. There's a point in one of the comics when he describes his heart as being slower to heal than the rest of his body and I think its interesting because although that story he's talking more from a "heart broken" sense. I also think that can apply just as equally to idea that it also harder for him to heal from not just heart break but also from shame and guilt. In certain situations, it takes longer for him to forgive himself emotionally because he suffers physically in the short term. He’ll never have a physical scar of his wrong doing and so he carries the emotional weight of it with him.

But also because he isn't just dealing with himself. In those moments when he comes out of that rage, the people he loves are in shock and are scared because they saw the “monster” and some people do reject it and in so they reject him and although rejection is something Logan thinks he deserves, it doesn’t make that pain hurt any less. it doesn't make it any easier to heal just because you agree with them, and in a way I think that's what slows down that healing process. Logan's inability to forgive himself.

Because that's the thing, Logan, would rather be scared of himself than forgive himself, be it because of his past trauma or because of the Weapon X program (which in the Weapon X comic it’s implied if not outright stated that the scientist at Weapon X are the reason he feels the fear he does about himself). Logan is scared of no one on Earth more than the man he sees in the mirror. And that’s because in his lowest moments when he looks in the mirror he doesn't see a man, instead he sees an animal, a monster. He doesn’t need the rest of the world to tell him what he already thinks of himself, it just doesn’t help that he has a choir of voices that are sometimes louder than his own telling him his worst fear is real. He is the monster that hides under his own bed but the problem is, while the monster is 'real' is a physical sense, it does not share a soul with him anymore than the boogeyman does. He wrestles with himself. Somedays he believes he's a man like anyone else and other days he can't drown out the voices telling him he's nothing more than a monster.

And as my last touch on the beserker rage, I want to posit my own theory about it. Personally believe to some extent that it isn’t part of his natural mutation and that instead it’s something that was “given” to him by the Weapon X program. The reason I say this is because I think it would make a lot of sense that like the adimantium claws and false memories it would make sense to give you “weapon” this uncontrollable rage (that mostly comes out in times of great duress). Not just because it would be one more thing Weapon X has taken from him (control over his own emotions/body) but also because wouldn’t that just make sense on the side of the people who ran the project? That your living puppet have a fail safe of sorts in case it ran into something bigger than itself? During the Weapon X comic, the scientist are constantly surprised by how resilient he is and even though some of this surprise happens in a false memory, they really do believe they can kill him at one points so if they thought they could kill him, why not something else? Why not give their investment insurance? And what better insurance for an animal than monstrous rage. 

But of course none of this is even to talk about the kind of person Logan really is. The thing that I think most people (in the comics) tend to ignore about Logan, in favor of focusing on his rough exterior (and some of his more questionable characteristics) is that he really does have a heart of gold. Now do not get me wrong, he can do some pretty fucked up shit (I will not talk about the Jean and Scott love triangle bc it gives me a migraine) but he does regularly do things that show how much empathy he has. That show that despite what he (or the rest of the world) might think, he isn’t a monster. The best examples of this are his relationships and more specifically the relationships where he’s a father/mentor. Like his relationship with Kitty Pryde and Jubilee, two kids that he basically adopts/takes under his wing and constantly goes out of his way for. Some of you might remember this post and the reason Logan does eventually fuck Wade’s shit up is because Wade literally punches the ever living shit out of Kitty in front of Logan. In another comic issue (after this), Logan beats the shit out of Wade again for punching Kitty, it’s funny but it also just goes to show that he does take protection of his family seriously. And mind you he doesn’t hunt Deadpool down, he find him by sheer plot coincidence when he’s getting a book signed for Kitty and the author just so happened to be Deadpool’s mark.

And mind you, Logan does have love for his own kids (Laura and Daken) despite the troubled nature of both this relationships but again those are a little more complicated. That’s partially for plot reasons but also because they play into just how much Logan hates himself that he struggles active show the same love for his adopted family to his “blood” family (again with Daken it’s a lot more complicated) but I also think that not only are his relationships with them fraught because of how much he hates himself but because both Laura and Daken were experimented on just and manipulated like he was (and in Daken’s case by a major player of Weapon X) so while he does love them past his own self hatred, they are also a reminder of his deepest traumas. It’s not their fault and it’s not necessarily Logan’s fault either, it’s just the cards their characters were dealt. (I haven’t read any comics with them yet so once I do I will most likely write my thoughts on his relationship with them each individually)

Regardless, Logan, depsite what he’d like you to think, is a deeply loving, empathetic and loyal person and this doesn’t just extend to people who considers family:

(Logan says this a man who not only a few issues ago was trying to kill him and his partner/friends. He saved Roughouse (the character he went berserk on a few pictures ago) because he was being experimented on in a way not too dissimilar to the way he had been by Weapon X. And if I remember correctly this is before he even knows how he got the adimantium in his bones)

He is James 'Logan' Howlett. He is a man whose life was stolen from him so many times over. He is a man who believes that the worse parts of him are all that matter and fails (or refuses) to see the good he has done in the lives of the people he cares about and believes that only death will truly bring him peace. He is someone who despite his flaws can’t help but to be kind. He is someone who fights like hell for what he believes is right. And even if he believes he’s a monster, even if the world believes he’s a monster, he will try to do the right thing because although he knows his soul is damned that doesn’t mean that exempts him from doing what good he can. He is someone who gives and good as he gets and then some. He’s the best at what he does but for him, that isn’t alway what he thinks it is.

And I think that’s the beauty of Logan as a character. Someone whose life is so wrought with tragedy and yet he is someone who can’t help but to be kind, someone who can’t help but love and care and find the humanity in the world despite the world seeming to be hellbent on taking his humanity away. Even though he (and many people in universe) might disagree with me, he is not only a one of the best humanity has to offer but he is also a shining example of the tenacity of the human spirit.

[genesiseven]

Hii, may i ask for some headcanons for Ness with a really shy s/o?

⎯⎯ ֶָ ✦ 𝒇𝒔𝒎 ⋆ 𝒔𝒖𝒑𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒚.ᐟ.ᐟ

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᥕᥲrᥒ . tiny teeny spoilers of his backstory + own hc of his past which are angsty

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᥕord coᥙᥒt . 2000

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤᥴoᥒtᥱᥒt . Fluff + Incudes social media pics and smau hcs, alexis ness, shy! s/o

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ sᥙm . alexis ness with a shy s/o ᡣ𐭩

𐙚 don't get me started on this cutie, ness would be the absolute sweetest with you <3!!

𐙚 ness is the type of guy that would order your drinks and food for you if you're too nervous or simply don't want to, he would kiss your cheek after ordering for the both of you in the car <3

𐙚 kisses kisses kisses!! He loves seeing your face redder than a tomato, knowing he's the only one who could get you this red. It doesn't end just there, he makes sure to tease you right after getting you flustered to the point of fainting!

𐙚 ness would cup your face delicately like you're made of glass, looking at you with a big stupid grin on his face and he tries his best to speak but how can he when his heart can't stop jumping around in joy at your gorgeous flustered face? Ness just ends up laughing when you hit him out of frustration and even more embarrassment.

𐙚 but don't worry, this sweetheart makes it up to you by showering you in kisses and praises <3!!

𐙚 he has the sweetest nicknames for you that's reserved for moments behind closed doors!!

*Meine schönes Mädchen,

*Süße Wangen,

*Erdbeerkuchen. He calls you as such cus he loves how your cheeks always has a faint blush to it whenever he kisses you, flirts with you or simply calls you pretty <3

𐙚 He would only use these when he's alone with you or with people that he knows and trusts that also know you, but he doesn't shy away from calling you cute nicknames in public, he would just be reserved with

𐙚 some nicknames that he normally uses in public includes

*Liebe

*Schatz

*Liebling. He has to make people know that you're his one way or another!

𐙚 he can be a little too possessive over you when people get too up and close in your personal space. He's passive aggressive, but subtle (barely). For example, when he left to get a drink for you and him in a bar and a guy starts making advances on you despite your repeated no’s, ‘i have a boyfriend’, ‘im taken’ and more and starts leaning forward in his seat right next to yours, he is livid and even that is an understatement.

𐙚 he definitely makes a playlist for you and plays it at little picnic dates when the sunset dawns you both, it's his way of making you feel special as well as comforted where you both just rest in each other's embrace, listening to the rhythms of eachother's heartbeat while yours and his favourite songs play in the background.

𐙚 his favourite song that reminds him of you is tek it x tek it (remix) by Cafuné!! The upbeat rhythm, tone and tune of the song reminds him of your gentle heart and the lyrics are quite special to his heart, as it's similar to how you two met and the feelings he continues to feel when he's with you.

𐙚 he'd be such an understanding and observant boyfriend, Two traits he got from observing his family to foresee their reactions and what not to do around them as well as being forced into studies and psychological studies.

𐙚 so when he sees you eyeing his hoodies or jerseys or catches you grabbing at his hoodie when you two are cuddling on the couch watching a movie, expect a bag of his personal most comfortable hoodies and his jersey from his recruiting days and also his current jersey on your table one day!! You don't even have to ask him, he knows what's on your mind and don't worry, trust him to 100% do what you need without you even having to utter a word <3

𐙚 another thing that's so obvious about him is that he is a loverboy. I mean, when he's in love with the one who he thinks is the one, he is prepared to be COMMITTED and drop everything to tend to you!!

𐙚 picture a daydreaming ness sitting on top of a football, dazed and dreamy eyed, a lazy and wobbly smile on his face thinking about his beloved lover and him dancing in the night to his second favourite song, that of course, reminds him of you. Only by Lee Hi <3

𐙚 if you're the more quiet, nothing to say type, then he honestly doesn't mind sitting in complete silence with you as another one of his love language is quality time. But he will sometimes need words of affirmation such as ‘i love you’ ‘youre the only one I ever need' as sometimes, ness can get a little scared and insecure when three special words go unsaid for a long long time.

𐙚 he's very protective in public even if it's subtle or to the point he doesn't show it, for example, when you're sleepy, he lets you sleep against his shoulder or lean against his body. And in more reserved places, he lets you sleep on his lap. But take a public space such as a fancy restaurant outdoor date for example, where the pestering paparazzi are free to do take their candid pictures, he always makes sure to hide your face with whatever he has because he's extremely serious about your privacy and he knows how much you dislike being displayed on the internet when the both of you are having close, wholesome moments <3

𐙚 now, talking about the internet, he's always posting pics on all his social media about him and his pretty girl with the absolute sweetest captions!

𐙚 of course, it would always leave your face or almost all of your body out of it, including only your hand, legs and discreet parts of your body that the internet could never sniff out who exactly the famous midfielder’s girlfriend is.

𐙚 pictures of you two making a heart with your hands, showcasing your matching bracelets, matching colour palettes, or even matching shoes! It's what the majority of his pics containing you consists of <3

𐙚 if you have long nails, he would definitely beg you to do the ‘kitana wins’ trend with him where he holds the back of your hand and you splay your hand out after the little sword slash sound!!

𐙚 he would buy you those long distance bracelets in your favourite colour, custom designed with his name on yours and your name on his!! He wants to show that he misses you any way he could, especially on days where he'd be overseas for matches and games and calling is a privilege and he barely has energy to open his lips to speak, so, he would press the little button with a star shape inside to let you know that he misses you <3

𐙚 slightly off topic but I feel like he'd learn more code just to spell out ‘i love you’ by pressing the button in Morse pattern

𐙚 sometimes, he likes to get a little daring by posting a picture of your lips to his cheek to print a romantic, cherry red lipstick mark to his cheek. And with him being so sneaky and smart enough to leave the stuttering sound of the camera as turned off in his phone, as well as panning the camera away from your whole face so that it could only capture your lips and nose. But not to worry, he only posts pictures with your permission!

𐙚 the more riskier pictures are taken usually because he's either one, jealous, or two, wants to make a targetted few (his teammates) jealous. I mean, how can he resist showing his gorgeous girl off!!

𐙚 some pics include :-

𐙚 the day you moved into his house was the day his house turned into a home for him and his heart to rest in, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. He'd really, really, really want you to sleep in his own bedroom but he's still respectful of your boundaries and makes sure to never break them.

𐙚 but on days where your, or his dreams are not quite happy and fulfilling, it's become an unspoken tradition where either you or he slips into the other’s room to sleep together until you finally felt comfortable with sleeping together with him.

𐙚 when you're sleeping on his bed, there'd always be a tiny distance between you that his body so yearningly wishes to fill, so that he finally knows how it feels like to fit like a puzzle, like human bodies are meant to fit. And when the room is freezing cold and neither of you are willing to turn the temperature up, he uses it as an excuse to snuggle close to you, wrapped up in your arms and sleeping with a cheeky smile on his face and letting you wake up to a slightly red faced ness. He always blames it on the chilly atmosphere tho <3

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤcopyright © @genesiseven

*Meine schönes Mädchen - My beautiful girl

*Süße Wangen - Sweetcheeks

*Erdbeerkuchen - strawberry cake

*Liebe - love

*Schatz - darling

*Liebling - dear

[moonyor]

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 107 SXF MANGA ₊⊹

RIGHT i know i’m delusional but hear me out 😭😭

so, chapter 107 ends off with us finding out that lunaluna selena is actually melinda,

which i kinda thought it would be her so woohoo

ALSO on an unrelated note, a lot of people are saying stuff which makes melinda look really sus and although it doesn’t make much sense, i feel like she probably had to do some last minute work or something— she did organise the whole event (with her group), but something probably didn’t work out so maybe she had to fill in for someone??? i’m not sure, she did mention her being sleep deprived too, so maybe it was her being tired from organising the event and having to fill in? idk though 💯

okay back to what i was saying!!! so, skipping a few things, what if melinda does end up reading both yor and anyas palms? i imagine her saying something along the lines of “oh i’ll read your palms since that’s what you came here for!” and then explaining how her readings arent very accurate, but saying that she’d try to make it as accurate as possible since, well, it’s yor and anya

anya would DEFINITELY say “ME FIRST ME FIRST” and both melinda and yor would just go along with it 😭 (we love anya guys)

OKAY now hear me out, what if, for anya, melinda describes damian as her partner or whatever??? and loid as yors??? i’ll explain further 🗣️🗣️

both our girls go to see how compatible they are with their “soulmate” right?? and possibly to see who their significant other is too, so melinda tries to be accurate and gives descriptions of damian for anya and loid for yor ⁉️⁉️

i imagine the description for damian to be hilarious, saying how he can be pretty honest wellllll….. foul-mouthed? you get my drift. anya would be like “yikes why the hell is my man like that i don’t want that pls 😭💔” and then melinda saying how he’s truly soft deep down and how he’s really just a sweetheart #tsunderedamian

ALSO: anya could possibly read melinda’s mind and find out she’s referring to damian, but i don’t see this happening as in my eyes, melinda herself would not be aware of who the person she’s describing is, but she would know how they may look and certain personality traits of theirs!!!! i’m not sure though 😅

as for loid and yor, yor would be COMPLETELY oblivious while melinda is stating the obvious, kinda like the panel of yuri describing loid, it was in chapter 12 i believe?? anyway, yuri says something like “sure, maybe he’s tall, good looking, blonde” etc etc, i see melinda basically stating how he looks and how he overworks himself 😭😭😭 loid is an absolute workaholic but yor is too dumb (i’m sorry yor not in a bad way i love you) to realize that melinda is actually basically just stating everything about loid 😿😿

yor, loid and anya then meet up again after they leave the place and loid asks what happened blah blah blah, yor THEN literally says everything melinda told her and how that’s her partner and how they’re perfect for each other

they’re so cute together i’m actually crazy about them

ANYWAYS loid either is just as clueless as yor, and somewhat jealous that there’s someone else out there that’s PERFECT for yor (although he doesn’t recognise his jealousy and quickly dismisses it) OR he’s like “hey.. that kinda sounds like me??”

obviously he doesn’t say this out loud and he just thinks this in his head, but he does go on to explain how he’s happy there’s someone out there like that for yor (and he thinks that someone is him)!!!! i feel like his ego would get slightly boosted by the fact that yors other half is him, and obviously, he doesn’t say this directly and recognise it properly but he still does act somewhat giddy 😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷

THATS IT FROM ME!!! this is my first post so i don’t think it’ll reach many people— i’m not really sure on how tumblr works lmao but i just needed to get my delusional thoughts out!!!!!

this would be cute but i’m expecting something a lot bigger than this and i don’t think there’s gonna be much romance at all, in fact i feel as if there’s gonna be a lot of action in the next few chapters and oh boy am i excited!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

if this did happen it probably wouldn’t be like how i’ve explained it, and it’d probably be like the calm before the storm 💔😭

oh well i guess we’ll find out in a month