#C-PTSD

[autisticmind]

Do you guys ever feel so much sudden rage at society for failing to provide the bare minimum support you needed/need to survive/thrive that you have to actually time. out. your mind for a while to calm down????

[system-of-a-feather]

I feel people largely missunderstand psychosomatic pain as pain that is "fake" or "just in your head" when it means pain that is the result of a mental condition, often some form of stress.

Stress causes REAL biological and medical issues (heart disease, immune system dysregulation, changes in blood pressure and heart rate, breathing dysfunction, muscle over use and tension) and can cause REAL pain and symptoms.

The only thing about it is that its often harder to effectively treat because its not the result of a regularly persistent issue as the trigger is stress and rooted in a psychological issue.

Its REAL pain from a REAL source.

[3liza]

the "feeling like something is wrong with you that you have to hide" background noise is often a result of childhood trauma because an abused or neglected child who doesn't rationalize their mistreatment runs the risk of alienating themselves from what little shelter and care is actually being provided. it's theorized that blaming yourself at that age is a way to survive by coming up with a justification for why you're being abused so you don't blame your caregivers for your own suffering, thereby alienating them to the point that you are fed or sheltered or protected even less than you are currently. believing you may be able to "change" so that you're worthy of love also prevents despair/giving up. it's of utmost importance to the survival of very small children to develop a worldview that keeps them alive, even if it's by totally magical thinking and at the cost of their ability to perceive reality or navigate normal human relationships. the same thing can happen to adults in abusive domestic situations.

anyway once you're out of that situation it's time to get really pissed off

[c-ptsdrecovery]

[lena-oleanderson]

Restless - working title for a poem about C-PTSD flashbacks and recovery work. the work works!! but the work is work.

[t0rschlusspan1k]

I was wounded early, and early I learned that wounds made me.

Adonis, Celebrating Childhood (Selected Poems, 2010)

[nagichi-boop]

I know that this scene is about Shadow grappling with the fact he has alien DNA, but I feel like his thoughts in this scene are relatable to people with conditions like autism, BPD and NPD (not an exhaustive list) who struggle with feeling and being treated like an outcast or monster at times. For some, it’s because we struggle to operate in a world not designed for us. For others, it’s fighting against all the negative perceptions society has of us.

Shadow sees himself as a monster. But Maria assures him that just because he expresses himself differently, that doesn’t make him evil. I feel like especially for people who struggle with empathy, this really hits home. People often assume that people who struggle with empathy, whether cognitive or emotional, are heartless. And for those with personality disorders, they’re often treated as if they are abusive or manipulative just because of the disorder they have, even though people with said disorders are victims of trauma and abuse themselves.

I hope you all have a Maria in your lives. And if not, please remember that it’s your actions that define you, not your neurotype or disorder. If you struggle with socialising, or emotional regulation, or empathy, you’re not a monster. You’re strong for living in a world that so often seems to outcast and insult you. You’re strong for choosing to be as kind as you can be, even though so many people refuse to show that common courtesy in return. Even when you can’t be strong, you are not a monster.

Please be kind to yourselves. You deserve it.

[someplacehigh]

When will I start feeling less *static noises*

[3liza]

a BIG problem in trauma and cortisol research is that researchers consistently use the words "cortisol' and "stress" interchangeably, even after it's been demonstrated that blunted cortisol is often found in patients who have both objectively and subjectively experienced more stress than healthy controls. so simply believing that higher subjective stress = cortisol go up doesnt make sense in any medical context, because we know for a fact that your cortisol number isn't correlated with subjective distress except weakly and only in certain contexts. some of the most stressed out people in these studies who have been through the most have the lowest cortisol, and are in fact probably experiencing additional stress because they dont have enough cortisol to deal with the stress-mediated inflammation. so thats a problem

[c-ptsdrecovery]

There is a genuine reason why some people are always worrying (or asking) if their friends are angry with them.

"Childhood sexual and emotional abuse, and physical neglect are linked to more interpretations of neutral facial expressions as contempt and anger." --NIH

[lowcountry-gothic]

Evidence has shown spanking to be connected to how we relate to success and failure even in adulthood. One study found that kids that were spanked in childhood, by adolescence showed an increased reaction in the brain when errors were made. The same study found that in these same adolescents who were spanked in childhood, their brains didn’t respond as strongly to success. This means that you’re more upset when you make an error, making it harder to deal with failure, or simply making a mistake — but when you do it correctly, you don’t get the same good feelings that others do.  We commonly see these outcomes in people with Complex PTSD, including chronic hopelessness (‘I’m always going to mess things up’), shame ('there’s something wrong with me,’) as well as difficulty appreciating when you are successful and life is going smoothly. The study seems to indicate that due to spanking, the brain becomes preoccupied on making mistakes at the expense of appreciating when things go well. It would make sense that this could create some patterns of thinking that focus on what goes wrong, but difficulty focusing on what goes well — setting people up for mental health challenges.

D.L. Mayfield and Krispin Mayfield, STRONGWILLED, Chapter 10: “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child”

[rambles-of-mental-illness]

They Made You Into A Weapon And Told You To Find Peace

[severussnapemylove]

Things that make me murderous: Snaters who are like “why didn’t Snape just grow up and get over it”, as if c-ptsd from a lifetime of abuse at home and school doesn’t cause damage to the mind and can’t just disappear the minute you turn 18. Untreated, unhealed childhood c-ptsd in adults is a nightmare. It is hellishly hard to function in society emotional stunting and anger issues are common. And it’s made so much worse by continuously being around triggers of your trauma.

[system-of-a-feather]

You ever sometimes feel a slight tinge of alienation when you realize how far you've come from where you were and that few people will ever really truly understand the level of pain and suffering you were in the past BECAUSE of how good you are now?

Like for the large part, I've moved on and I don't really feel the need to hold onto that pain and suffering at my own expense and its something that rarely floats my mind - but sometimes I realize and see how few people can really fathom the dark place I used to be in when I was younger based on where I am now, and a small part of me feels sad for that version of me to be so unknown and unseen to most people.

I don't really want people to See and Know that version and history of mine, because it wasn't pretty and it's not who I am anymore, but there is always this distance I find when people just... see me where I am now and struggle to fathom where I came from.

Sometimes it makes me want to go back, fall back and just throw it all out there, just so people could see and know the whole story. And of course I won't, but to have that acknowledged, it's something I sometimes miss.

In a way, I love that version of myself that was a complete mess, because I see that version of me doing the best that I could and living in a world that I wasn't meant to still be alive in. They were very unwell, very full of hurt, hate, frustration, and betrayal, but they were doing their best.

It kind of makes me sad to think that a lot of people - because of the present version of my self - will rarely be able to really fathom the hurt, struggle, and perseverance that it took from that version of myself to Make my current self.

It's just... kind of sad. It's not who I am anymore, but it is still a large part of myself and sometimes it really misses being known.

This is open for people to add on to or chat or share their two cents.

[nagichi-boop]

No cuz genuinely my existence has no value.

“You have value by being alive” - I’m a financial and physical burden to everyone around me. My needs are a black hole that sucks away time, money and energy, but produces absolutely nothing in return. My existence causes a deficit, and if I were gone it would make things easier for my family.

[mogai-headcanons]

icon id: 16 icons in 8 pairs. in each pair, both icons have the listed flags in order in the background and the left icon has an image of the listed character with a white outline and a black shadow. end id.

banner id: a 1500x150 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting’ in large white text in the center. end id.

[Note: these headcanons were sent in before the release of Refraction Girl, so the diagnoses listed in these edits may be different from the diagnoses implied or made canon in that update!]

Disposable Girl from The Post-Traumatic Manifesto is an autistic pupgender autigender aroflux gaybian turigirl therian who canonically has ADHD, BPD, C-PTSD, and AVPD, canonically uses she/her and it/its pronouns, and also uses paw/paws pronouns!

Irreverent Girl is a demisexual lesbian paragirl who canonically has SZPD, OCD, DP/DR, and hypercalculia and canonically uses she/her, co/cos, and one/ones pronouns!

Splitter Girl is a polyamorous bisexual cis girl who canonicaly has ADHD, IBS, NPD, ASPD, and social anxiety and canonically uses she/her pronouns only!

Fainéant Girl is a multiply disabled autistic nonbinary unlabeled sapphic who canonically has ME/CFS, STPD, fibromyalgia, depression, endometriosis, and gastroparesis and canonically uses she/her and they/them pronouns!

Caliber Girl is a canonically autistic transhet canon trans woman who canonically has OCPD and P-DID, is recovering from canon anorexia, and canonically uses she/her pronouns only!

Chocolate-Box Girl is a canonically autistic loveless aro caedosexual person with canon BPD and OCD who canonically uses she/her, he/him, and it/its pronouns!

Taxidermy Girl is an intersex canonically two-spirit person with BPD, DPD, and hypersexuality who canonically uses she/her, he/him, and they/them pronouns and also uses luna/lunas pronouns!

Chemical Girl is a canonically autistic hard-of-hearing femme genderfaunet polyamorous bi lesbian mesque who is canonically cluster B, has NPD, BPD, and anxiety, and canonically uses she/her pronouns!

dni link