#He has the energy of a 16 year old girl who's biggest issue is her crush not reciprocating

[oswaldcobblepotenbyson]

What if he's my princess 🥺

[ricksroaches]

Jungkook - Dysphoria ch. 1

pairing: Yoongi x Reader, OT7 x Reader (platonic)

summary: Jungkook, a burnt out gifted student, comes home from summer camp not ready to start his sophomore year of highschool, but his friends are there to help him feel better. Although not in the best of ways.

notes: This is a Euphoria-ish au but mostly it's just heavily inspired by the show (I use a few quotes), and each chapter is based on a character. There's a few parts where I cue a song title that's because I made a soundtrack to listen to while reading but I deleted it a while ago so :( if you feel like it listen to the ones I did write down. I'm apologizing now bc my writing can be a bit choppy/rushed its just cuz i have a more drabble-like style and don't know how to write between big scenes. THIS IS A DARK FIC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Hope you enjoy and sorry for this big ass paragraph.

word count: 3.9k

warnings: ass-load of angst, mental illness (depression, anxiety, bipolar, OCD, and probably more), drugs (all of them. just all of them), underage drinking, cursing, mentions of self-harm

Next chapter

[Slideshow - Labrinth]

When Jungkook was 5, he wanted to be an astronaut. He wanted to fly into the sky and zip around space exploring things never before seen. His little mind was so strong, wanting to learn anything and everything. When he first learned how to read, he would read every sign he passed in the car and play games with the letters he’d find. It wasn’t long before he was placed in advanced classes with kids he'd never seen before and for the first time in his academic career, he was challenged.

When Jungkook was 10, he wanted to be a doctor. He wanted to wear a white coat and glasses and race around a hospital busy saving lives everyday. He wanted people to look to him for advice and treat him with respect. He wanted to feel needed.

When Jungkook was 14, he wanted to be a paramedic. He didn’t think he’d be smart enough to become a doctor so an EMT would have to do. His classes had begun to pile up in work to the point where he didn’t have the time to think about anything but school. He ate, slept, and breathed homework, projects, and term papers.

When Jungkook was 16, all he wanted to do was graduate. He no longer had any desire to pursue his childhood dreams. When he was asked what he wanted to do when he was older, his mind was a void. He couldn’t see any future for himself past high school. He went day to day not bothering to care about what might happen the next day. He coasted through all of his classes and dropped out of the advanced programs that his parents put him in.

His potential was like a flame. It was small at first, but still had loads of potential, so more kindling was thrown on top. The flame received it well, quickly spreading over the new material. But they kept stacking kindling. Stacking and stacking and stacking putting more and more pressure until finally….the flame died. All because he liked to read.

[Forever - Labrinth]

The clouds inched across the sky and rows of crops and fencing whipped by the car window. A stark contrast between the two. Jungkook rested his head against the glass and watched as the car began to pass more and more houses. The familiar area told him he was almost home. He should’ve been glad, elated even. He would finally get to see his friends again, but after three weeks of summer school to catch up on the class he skipped last year he’d lost the ability to smile or show any form of positivity. To say he felt like a zombie would be an insulting understatement.

The car pulled into the ever so familiar driveway and the rest of his family piled out of the car. He didn’t move. He heaved a long, anguished sigh before snatching his duffel bag from the other seat and throwing open the door.

He was out the front door again before his mom could even ask him where he was going. Speeding his bike down the empty road that he’d ridden countless times before. He could make this route with his eyes closed. The house in question came into view and Jungkook pedaled harder to close the distance. He swung one leg to the opposite pedal and straddled it until he swerved to a stop in the driveway. The house was old, hadn’t been lived in for years, wasn’t on the market, yet wasn’t scheduled to be torn down. It was the perfect place for a group of teenagers to tear apart and put back together. Without knocking, he stepped inside and was hit with the welcoming scent of booze, pizza, and weed with notes of cigarettes and coffee. Music blasting from a distant room in the house led him to the living room where he counted one, two, three, four, five people sprawled about the room. Upon noticing him standing in the doorway, they jumped up and raced to pull him into the room.

“Kook! How you been man? How’d surviving summer school go?” Taehyung was Jungkook’s best friend and unsolicited wingman. He was always trying to set him up with girls so he could get his v card punched. Taehyung was ever the ladies man. Never had trouble finding a date or a hookup. No one could blame him though. If they had that flawless, arrogant face they’d use it too. Despite his fuckboy nature, he was the best friend Jungkook ever had. They’d gone to the same school since they were 7 and Taehyung’s untamable charisma sniffed out Jungkook’s shyness rather quickly. They were inseparable and the rest is history.

“Fine I guess.”

“Kookie, come sit down! I’ve been saving your spot on the couch for you!” Jimin pulled Jungkook to the left corner of the C shaped couch. Jimin was like Taehyung in the sense that he also had no issues with finding partners. He wasn’t near as promiscuous as Taehyung, but he made up for it with his bisexuality. He had an entire other gender to choose from. Jimin was probably the nicest of the group. He always gave the best hugs and was their personal therapist. His aura seemed to coax you into opening up to him even if you hadn’t originally planned on it. He had a way of saying all the right words to make you feel better, even if it was just for a moment. On the other side of him, he was the biggest party animal the group had ever seen. Anywhere else, he was the purest angel that everyone believed could do no wrong. But at a party? Park Jimin was a demon. Seductively dancing in a stylish jacket, pants low enough to show his v-line, sweaty hair flipped back pounding shot after shot until he was the last man standing. That guy could party from sun down to sun up like it was a baby shower.

“Did you at least learn anything you missed last year?” Namjoon. Ever the parent. He was surprisingly humble given his father’s status and money. He easily had the best grades among the friends. School always came easy to him, no matter what it was. However, if you saw him outside of school, you’d never be able to guess he was one of the school’s top students. He carried an energy with him that dared anyone to mess with him or his friends. Although you didn’t see it often, he could make himself scary if he wanted to. All in all, he’s just a gentle giant that made sure everyone turned in their work.

“Absolutely nothing. I don’t know why they keep wasting their time on me.” Jungkook sighed. Hoseok threw a pillow from across the couch, smacking him in the face.

“Yah! Don’t talk about yourself like that!” Hoseok was the human charger. It didn’t matter if someone’s mama died if Hoseok was in the room there would be shenanigans. He was always the one to make some crazy dare that would end up getting them in trouble but they wouldn’t be mad because it was totally worth it. He also had great music taste and almost always was on aux. Hoseok’s vice was coke. Often the driving force behind his hyper nature, it started out as just a thing he did at parties, but slowly creeped into his everyday habits. It hadn’t become a problem yet, he vowed that as soon as he started getting nosebleeds he’d stop, although Jungkook was wary of how difficult that was going to be.

“Where’s Y/N and Yoongi?” Jungkook asked after noticing their usual spots empty.

“They left to get food. They should be coming back soon.” Jin assured him, giving him a comical slap on the thigh. Jin was the eldest, but rarely acted like it. Whenever he wasn’t making stupid dad jokes or eating he spent his time at the classical theater where he worked and sometimes acted. He planned on pursuing acting given his “world wide handsome face.” “It just has to be seen! People around the world need to swoon at my beauty” as he would put it.

No one heard the front door open and shut or noticed Y/N and Yoongi standing in the doorway of the living room.

“Food’s here.” Yoongi finally croaked. Hoseok and Jin yelped and sprung up.

“JESUS! Ever heard of announcing yourselves?! I swear you guys are the exact same person!” Y/N just gave a shrug and plopped onto the large bean bag that she’d claimed.

“Hey, Kooker.” She dragged out.

“Hi Y/N..” His unusual bland reply didn’t go unnoticed by her, but she brushed it off.

“You ready to get shit faced?” A playful grin plastered her otherwise tranquil face. A small smile poked at Jungkooks pursed lips. There was something about her character that always put him in a better mood. She was the one who invited him and Tae into the friend group in the first place, and because of that, he couldn’t be more grateful.

Yoongi tossed him a beer can and his car keys. “Start us off Jungkook.” Yoongi was by far the most terrifying one. It took some time to get to know his true person but there were still times when he still scared the shit out of him. Jungkook remembered when he first met Yoongi. He looked like he’d served time with the seasoned look in his eye that said he’d seen some shit in his day. He hadn’t spoken the entire time the group was talking and Jungkook was beginning to worry that he didn’t like him. It wasn’t til he finally spoke that Jungkook could release the breath he was holding. For someone so stoic and cold looking, he never expected him to have such a low, soft voice. He realized, Yoongi wasn’t scary, he was just quiet like him.

Jungkook took the keys and poked a hole in the bottom of the can. He pressed his lips to it and pulled the tab, sending the amber liquor shooting down his throat. He finished it with ease and crushed the can in his palm while the room cheered and chanted.

The loud music, laughing, and drugs drowned out everything in the outside world. It felt like the world ended and they were the last people left on Earth. Nothing mattered but what was right in front of them. The hours flew by until it came time for everyone to crash. Most of them were still raging drunk or high which only made them fall asleep faster. Jungkook didn’t drink much and he barely smoked. He just couldn’t get in the right headspace to enjoy any of it. So there he was, laying awake among a pile of snoring boys at some ungodly hour of the night. His phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out to read the text in his notifications.

[We All Knew - Labrinth]

Y/N💜: come to my office

He shimmied out from under Taehyung and Jimin and tiptoed out of the room. He followed the smell of weed through the house because where there was weed, there was Y/N. He stepped into the backyard and found her leaning against the wall, blunt between her fingers. The tip of the dark stick swelled into a bright orange when she took a drag. Smoke rolling out of her nose, she held it out for him. He hesitated.

“You're upset. Take it.” Which was a dead-on observation for Y/N, who’s not normally revolving in the same direction as planet Earth. He hesitantly took a puff from it before handing it back. She spread her arms lazily and looked at him with a beckoning stare. He sighed and walked right into her arms that wrapped around his back. She was only older than him by a year, but her old soul and almost motherly demeanor made him look up to her like she was his idol. Sometimes, he forgot he was a whole head taller than her. “Welcome home, Kookie.”

Hers was the only welcome he got that day that brought a genuine smile to his face. She had a way of making him feel welcome and wanted even if she was in a bad mood. She broke the embrace and without a word headed to the old couch by the empty swimming pool. He eventually followed her and flopped down next to her. Another gush of smoke entered the chilly air and it was handed back to him. Feeling better, he took a healthy drag and sighed out the smoke as he sunk further into the couch.

“Was it that obvious?”

“Was what obvious?”

“Me being upset.”

“Not really.” She flicked the ash off the tip of the brown stick, her gaze not breaking from its spacey stare.

“Then how’d you know?”

“Pain recognizes pain.” Y/N wasn’t one for her genius epiphanies, given that nine times out of ten on any given day she was stoned out of her mind. She wasn’t dumb, god no. He wouldn’t doubt that she was smarter than him, but she rarely exercised her ability. As great of a gift that her mind was, it was an even worse curse. An inescapable tomb of her worst fears, thoughts, and intentions, with nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. So naturally, she tried anything and everything to silence her mind; alcohol, weed, acid, coke, molly, you name it, she’s done it.

Jungkook wasn’t angry or disappointed by the lengths she went. He knew she was just trying to feel better, and to him, that’s all that mattered. He’d take high Y/N over no Y/N at all.

“Y/N?”

“Yep.” There was a silence while he worked up the nerve to speak.

“How…uh….how long have you felt…the way you feel?” She chuckled and let her head fall back against the couch.

“Well I smoked a blunt with Yoongi in the car this morning and then-”

“No, I mean like…w-without drugs.” Her lazy smile didn’t change, but her eyes unfocused and she grew quiet as if lost in a flashback.

“How long do you think I’ve felt this way?” He didn’t anticipate this question.

“Uh…I don’t know…you hide it really well.”

“I couldn’t tell you when it started. I don’t remember much before 7. I’m told I was a happy kid, but it didn’t feel like it at all. All my life I’ve looked around and seen that everyone was so much happier than me, and I’d ask myself, ‘Why can’t I feel like that?’ It wasn’t until I was older that I learned…I was born to suffer. That’s just my place in the world.”

“When did you finally tell anyone?”

“I didn’t. My parents found my razors.” Jungkook always thought he saw scars on her arms and legs, but her milky skin made it hard to tell. It hurt his heart to know that it was true, and that every one of those once caused her pain. The image of her forearms and thighs slick with her blood brewed tears in his eyes.

“They determined they didn’t have the knowledge to help me, so they asked me to take a tour of this mental hospital and think about their suggestion….” She paused to keep her voice from cracking. “I didn’t make it home that day. Never really forgave them after that.”

There was a long silence after that. Jungkook didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say. Besides, he knew she hated condolences. “What made you start using drugs?” She took a drag of the blunt and thought about it.

“I was 13.” Really? “I found my brothers stash of weed in one of his shoes. I already knew what weed was and what it was used for, so I took about a gram and a rolling paper and taught myself how to roll a joint on my bathroom floor. I was shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds but when that joint hit, I thought…” She tilted her head to peak at him with an epiphanic smile, “This is it…This is the feeling that I’ve been waiting to feel my entire life. I thought I was sure to get caught and sent to juvie, but I wasn’t. The world went on, and I found a way to live. Now could my lifestyle kill me? Will it kill me? Yeah probably I don’t know, but at least I could’ve had a few years where I wasn’t begging the universe to put me out of my misery.” She paused to take another hit. “People often ask me, ‘Y/N why don’t you try therapy? Drugs aren’t the answer.’ Yeah well, drugs work. Therapy’s a guessing game; you never know if it’s gonna actually help or not and end up wasting your time and money. But when I take that hit, that line, that tab, the world starts to slow…and everything goes quiet…and I feel safe. In my own head. And I can see the world in color again.”

Jungkook watched her blissful face while she was lost in thought. She must’ve been pretty high because this is the most personal she’d ever gotten with him or possibly anyone that wasn’t Yoongi. “Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“W-what if I don’t feel what everyone else feels either..?” He pinched the skin between his fingers to keep his tears at bay, a nervous habit he’d picked up from her. She reached over and took his hand in hers, the webbing between her fingers had white and pink stripes from years of fingernails digging into the flesh.

“Jungkook,” she didn’t use his nickname, “I know how hard it was for you to say that. I want you to know how much I appreciate you telling me, because if anyone knows how you feel, it’s me. You can talk to me whenever, wherever. Even when you think it’s a bad time it’s not, because nothing in that moment is more important to me than you. I don’t want you to go through the same thing I did, so please, even if you don’t want to talk, maybe I can at least keep you company.”

For the rest of the night, Jungkook told her everything. About the pressure, the stress, the desire to collapse and let the world go on without him, his inability to see a future where he was fulfilled. The words often caught in his throat, having never said them out loud before. Y/N didn’t say much, she just wrapped them in a blanket and stroked his hair while she just let him talk. Sometimes, he’d have to stop to cry and she’d hold him a little tighter, wipe his tears away with her thumbs, and wait til he was ready again.

Eventually, he had nothing else to say, his tears dried, and his body stilled.

Babies didn’t sleep that good.

Y/N nodded off a little later but was woken up by a raccoon tipping a trash can. She rested her cheek on his head and tried to go back to sleep, but it never came. She just continued to rest her eyes while playing with Jungkook’s hair and tracing lines along his features.

She didn’t know how long she laid there but soon the birds began their routine morning songs and she was sure she wouldn’t get back to sleep now. The faint tap of shoes on the concrete perked her ears, but she kept her eyes closed. The footsteps stopped behind the couch where she sat. It was quiet before the person chuckled quietly. A warm hand smoothed back the hair in her face and a little kiss was planted on her forehead. She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face.

“Yoongi, I’m awake you creep.” She cracked her eyes open to see her boyfriend laid over the back of the couch hovering above her, his dark hair tickling her nose. He smirked.

“Well in that case,” he grabbed her chin and tilted her head up before capturing her lips in a playful kiss. When they parted, he glanced down at Jungkooks still sleeping figure. “You guys stay out here all night?”

“Yeah,” she looked down at him and smoothed his hair back, “he just had a few things to get off his chest.” Yoongi almost asked what it was about but her face gave him an idea.

“It’s cold, you want me to take him inside?”

“It won’t wake him up will it?”

“If he’s as out as as he looks, he won’t.” She nodded and Yoongi circled around and slipped his hands under the sleeping boy’s body. Much to Y/N’s pleasant surprise, he lifted him bridal style with ease and she followed him into the house where he placed him next to the other slumbering boys.

When he straightened back up he saw her in the sliding glass door, gazing at the now dusty blue sky. She could feel his body heat on her back against the nippy outside air.

“I always loved the time just before dawn.”

“Why is that?” He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his cheek to hers.

“It’s so calm and peaceful. And incredibly quiet besides the birds. It’s the only time I feel truly left alone.”

“You want me to show you my favorite time of day?” She turned to him with a curious look. “Follow me.” Not long after, the two were perched on the flat portion of the roof with Yoongi’s bong sitting between them. His angular fingers effortlessly packed the bowl and held it out to her. “All yours.” She took it with a smile.

“What a gentleman~”

Soon, the sky went from a pale blue to pastel shades of orange and pink. He looked over to see her fiddling with a thread on his hoodie she was wearing. “This,” he took her jaw and guided her eyes up for her to see the sunrise, “is my favorite time of day.”

“Why?”

“It gives me hope. Kinda like you.” He was glad she didn’t say anything. She was lost in the color palette of the scene before her, the weed making everything so much more vibrant and striking. He could see the sky reflected in her eyes, making the view ten times better. More time went by and she rested her head on his broad shoulder while they watched the rest of the sunrise.

Back on the ground, Yoongi cleared the bowl and poured out the bong water before setting it on a table by the couch. Y/N was on her back in the center of the empty pool, slowly tearing a leaf above her face and analyzing how it separated cell by cell. He stood on the edge above and watched her do this another four times much to his amusement. “You wanna get breakfast?”

She was out of the pool and in his face before he could finish his sentence. “Like you have to ask.” He chuckled and rolled his eyes before turning and walking to his car. “Hey, Yoongi.”

He turned back.

“Carry me to the car like Jungkook.” He broke into a smirk and walked back to her.

“Yes ma’am.” She let out a yelp when he scooped her off her feet and marched the two of them to his car waiting on the street.

Cover photo: @BIGHITTED on Twitter

[im-like-if-a-girl]

*THE* mean-girl-dean-girl's Supernatural reboot MEGAPOST!

I'm gonna stick a little "keeping reading" here because hoooooo boy, this is a very long post.

Let's start with

Plot

Season 1

Dean kills John while they are out on a hunt in a crime of passion, but Dean doesn't remember because he blacked out. Cue Dean going to Stanford to get Sam and tell him "Dad's on a hunting trip... and he hasn't been home in a couple days."

The audience doesn't know what happened to John, but slowly figures it out with Dean and Sam as Dean slowly remembers what happened that night.

The entire first season, the boys are following the trail John left and fighting monsters as well. They find out Dean was with John, Sam realizes Dean has an unreliable memory, they have heart to hearts about their childhood and the fire, they find John's body, "how could you kill Dad?" but maybe Dean didn't kill dad, whooaaaaaa, misdirection.

It was actually good ole yeller eyes (Azazel) and he made it look like Dean killed John.

Okay, now let's move on to the first episode

Not sure how the opening would work, I would like the story of the fire to be revealed over the course of the first season, but maybe the opening scene could be a little bit of an establishing character relationships and backstory, idk, I haven't thought that far yet.

I'm thinking maybe it's like, Dean gets back to a motel room covered in blood and he listens to a voicemail on his phone from John saying he was on a hunt or something, I don't really know lol.

HOWEVER

I do know that after the intro rolls, we get a scene of Sam waking up to his alarm and "Nine to Five" by Dolly Parton starts playing.

Y'all know where this is going.

Cue a montage of Sam's normal Stanford college life (him sitting through lectures, walking through the campus with friends) spliced with scenes of Dean absolutely slaughtering a nest of vampires (or some other monsters, whatever works best.)

But

Now onto

Characters!!! (And descriptions)

Dean Winchester

Some lovely person on this site made edits of Dean with platinum blond hair and it made me feel some kind of way so we're doing that, homie's gonna have platinum blond hair

Side note about the hair, later when the brothers are running from the FBI he dyes it a dirty blond/light brown (insert jackles hair color controversy here) as a disguise.

He also gets tattoos because we were robbed.

Speaking of tattoos, concept: when Dean comes back from Hell, all of his tattoos are gone. His body is a clean slate, devoid of tattoos, scars, etc. So he gets his tattoos done all over again, which he doesn't mind because he made some bad, drunk tattoo decisions in his youth.

(And before you ask, yes, he does get one for Cas, either a bee or Cas's name in enochian, something cute.)

Dean goes to therapy after Sam gets sent to the Cage.

It's actually court mandated because he got in trouble, lol, he would never go to therapy on his own.

Along with the hair, Dean gets to be the grade A twunk we all know he is.

Sam Winchester

His hair gets longer in every scene he's in

No jk, but imagine

King of Microaggressions

Sam starts off like the sweetheart he is in season 1 but in later seasons he starts enjoying killing a little too much...

It's that demon blood, ba-by!!!

He brings up issues of morality to Dean, i.e. killing monsters who aren't hurting anyone. (Yes I know this is contradictory to my previous statement, but these two facets of Sam can and will coexist.)

Sam and Jess's relationship is explored further, meaning we'll need to start with a different inciting incident, but that's fine, I think everyone can agree fridgings are *(thumbs down)*

Sam doesn't truly know what happened the night of the fire until later, and then he understands why Dean is so protective of him.

Jess

She gets to live beyond the first episode

She is also trans

No, I don't feel like I have to explain myself and I won't 💜

She urges Sam to join Dean in a search for their brother, kind of gets pulled into the hunter lifestyle by association lol.

She dies on a rusty nail after fighting vampires on a routine hunt with Sam

No jk!!!

But imagine....

She's amazing and I love her and Lucifer also uses her as leverage against Sam and possesses her because I think that'd be cool.

She supports Sam 100% and also she and Dean are buddies, pals if you will.

She meets Cas Thee El and immediately she Knows, that is a homosexual.

She dies still so that we can have a Saileen Endgame but she's not dying the first episode or in a fridging. Not on my watch.

Castiel

He gets to keep his raw, light-fixture-exploding power.

I want more of that "I pulled you out of hell, I can throw you back in" energy except over dumb shit like Dean not cleaning up after himself.

He looks like a Dilf in every scene he's in, yeah, that's right, dilf with a capital D for *(GUNSHOTS)* *(gets sent to horny jail)*

Claire

She gets pink hair

And more time with Cas

And maybe a nose piercing

Feel like she should be able to kill a couple angels onscreen, punch a couple homophobes

She gets to meet Jack and teaches him swears and fun slang words.

She deserves it.

Jack

I says "that's my baby and I'm proud."

Jack starts off as a baby, but like Amara he grows up super quickly.

Like, baby to 11 year old in a couple days or less.

This is because Jack's emotional age on the show is on par with that of a 5th grader.

It's at this point when he's a young kid that he runs away from the Bunker and shenanigans ensue.

It's also at this point that Dean threatens to k*ll him.

(Still not sure if I want that in my Supernatural (threatened infanticide? In my Supernatural? It's more likely than you think) but we'll see. We'll see.)

Throughout a majority of season 13, Jack is like an 11 y.o. kid

Season 14 he's like a 16 y.o. teenager

Season 15 he's 21, you get the picture.

Listen, I love Alex Calvert a lot. He's great.

But Jack is a child and should be a child.

Kelly Kline

Kelly, baby, stay right where you are, you're perfect.

Eileen

SHE DOESN'T DIE

SHE GETS TO BE IN THE FINALE BECAUSE SHE'S AMAZING AND I LOVE HER.

BLURRY WIFE WHO? I ONLY KNOW SAILEEN ENDGAME!

She teaches Claire and Jack swears in sign-language. Castiel is not impressed.

John

J*hn W*nchester stans, DNI.

He's dead.

We only see him in flashbacks and only sometimes hear his voice in voice overs.

He's not "down the road" from Dean in Heaven, in fact he instead gets to wander around in some Purgatory like Hell for the rest of his time :)

People who get to say "fuck" on the show:

Cas (but only Once)

Jody

Bobby

Now onto other things

I want more of

Ghostfacers

(they need more screentime because I love them)

Dean/Benny

We know they had a thing.

They definitely had a thing.

Demon Dean

Again, I feel like more should've been done with this. All that build up for what, 2 episodes? was not utilized well at all.

Dean's Bisexuality

Straight Dean truthers DNI, my Supernatural is a show about love and being true to yourself

You think Supernatural is a show about 2 straight brothers fighting monsters?

Naw bitch, this is a show about the Gay Experience

He will get to have relations with men on this show.

Of course, only after John dies does he, y'know, display it. Maybe he kisses Cas on his dad's grave just to fuck John over, make him roll in grave.

We all agree John would be/is a homophobe piece of shit, right?

Okay, glad we're on the same page.

Dads

3 men and a baby with Jack is what I'm saying.

I love it when the Trio are father-figures to younger troubled characters they see themselves in, even better if it's like reluctant-but-loving father figure, oh, that trope gets me every time :'^)

Dadstiel and DadDean are my favorites, but I like it when Sam plays "Uncle Sam" to kids too lol.

"Fellas, is it gay to want a tight knit family with your husband, his son, his vessel's daughter, your brother, his wife, your cop mother figure and her wife and their adopted daughters? Asking for a friend."

Garth

Biggest flaw of Supernatural was underutilizing Garth.

I will never not be bitter that Garth was only in like, 7 episodes out of the whole 15 season series.

Every episode with Garth gets immediately 5 times better.

I love Garth.

Follow ups on characters who had entire episodes featured around them and then just... vanished???

This is mostly about Jesse, the magic kid whose imagination ruled an entire town like, his daddy was a demon and nothing came of that kid??? Only one episode about him?? No follow up???

KID CAN MANIPULATE REALITY AND WE'RE NOT GONNA GET A FOLLOW UP ON THAT?????

Uh, there was that one episode with Ennis the guy whose girlfriend was killed by a monster? I think?? Who we never see again, that was weird.

Tamara from season 3, episode 1.

And of course-

Cassie

She was so cool, and then we never saw her again :////

She gets to be a badass.

Religious imagery

As a former Catholic school student who has become for the most part, disillusioned with religion, religious imagery in TV shows like Supernatural make my brain go "brrrrrr."

Fun episodes!!!

Like, after season 6 or so, there's a drop in funny episodes

I'm talking Changing Channels, The French Mistake type stuff. (Scoobynatural is an outlier and should not be counted.)

So anyway

In my version we would have more fun episodes

I'm thinking

GENDER-SWAP EPISODE, BABY!!

(why they didn't do that in the original, we'll never know.)

An episode where Dean gets to wear eyeliner

That's it, end of post.

I want less

Racism

Yeah I feel like this is self explanatory, nearly every reoccurring character in SPN is white, and black side characters normally die in the episode they first appear in, or they'll be featured as a villain (Uriel, Raphael, Billie, etc)

Also there's a lot of... uh... asian fetishism featured in the show (what with "Busty Asian Beauties) that's really gross, also Kevin was a bit of a stereotype...

Also also it's super yucky how they kill the gods from other religions like???? Uh??? That's super disrespectful, let's not do that????

I know Supernatural is like, inherently racist because monsters are a separate race that are seen as some dangerous "other" that must be eradicated by hunters in a form of genocide-

Okay we won't get into that but

Still

Stop killing all your POC

Fridgings/Unecessary murders of female characters

I know Supernatural starts with a fridging, so this will be a hard thing to remedy, but

One death that really pissed me off was the death of Charlie

Yeah, that was pointless and we're not doing that. Charlie gets to live and be an awesome aunt to Jack.

And also Claire

Charlie Bradbury Superiority

Charlie and Garth get to meet because they're nerd/geek solidarity.

British Men of Letters

I fucking hate these guys

They're "litcherally" the worst.

The worst part is that the actors they have playing the British AREN'T. EVEN. BRITISH.

And you can tell

Uh, and that's all for now, I'll add more later.

tag list for people who liked my "if this post gets one like I'll post my SPN reboot masterpost" post.

@darianyunidi @sarasidlesaid @crazybananaalpaca @playfulpanthress @ultfreakme @fififeelsmellow @heller-char @luna8eaton @princessmeganfire @insanebot109 @queenofnightsnow @mongoose-underthehouse

Thank you for the support, hope the wait was worth it.

[a-duck-with-a-book]

REVIEW // Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicle, #1) by Jay Kristoff

★☆☆☆☆

So I’m very late to the party, but I just finished reading Nevernight by Jay Kristoff I had such high hopes for this series based off of what people recommending it had told me and what I read about it before picking up. Dark fantasy? Check. Strong leading lady? I’m here for it. Gays? It’s literally my only personality trait. Sign me up. Unfortunately, this book fell flat in all those categories. It reminded me a lot of Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass, which made me take one point off of to begin with simply for making me think of Maas’s writing. Overall, I just found the book to be too predictable, with bad writing, exposition, and pacing, and too many parts that just made me ~uncomfortable~.

In case you are not familiar with this novel, Nevernight tells the story of Mia Corvere, a girl who lost her family when she was a child after her father was convicted of treason. When the book begins, she is 16 years old and embarking on a journey to join the Red Church, a school for assassins, so that she may one day be able to avenge her father’s death. Along the way she meets a bunch of forgettable characters whose names I can’t be bothered to remember and is taught by the most fearsome killers in the Republic. Here she gains many valuable skills, like how to survive being poisoned, how to fight, and how to get big boobs.

+ Side note: by chapter 3 three I started picturing Mia as the crow guy from RWBY and I could not shake that for the rest of the book

I had many issues with this novel that I will try to summarize in some sort of coherent fashion, but to be honest this book sucked the will to live out of me so I don’t know how much energy I can put into this review.

// image: official cover art by Jason Chan //

FOOTNOTES

The footnotes were probably the most jarring element of the book for me, and, unfortunately, there’s a lot of them. Their function seems to be twofold:

they are the form of most of the world-building, explaining several customs, the history of the institutions and peoples Mia meets, and the mythology followed by the people of the Republic.

they allow for the narrator of our story to interrupt with comical one-liners or cryptic foreshadowing

In my humble opinion, both of these are unnecessary and stupid. The interruptions come off as crass and immature and make the other more textbook, boring exposition come off as a joke, especially when it is dealing with sensitive or serious topics. There is one that explains this brothel called the Seven Flavors, which the footnote explains refer to “Boy, Girl, Man, Woman, Pig, Horse, and, if sufficient notice and coin was given, Corpse.” Now, on its own, this passing mention of pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia could very well contribute to the world building and tone of the novel, but when placed side by side with the childish, joking tone of the “cue the violiiiiiiiins” or, regarding the acoustics of a room, “…they were, as it happens, exceptional. Falalalalalalaaaaaaaa”, come off as way too light-hearted for the topic at hand. Maybe I’m being way too sensitive, but I’m pretty tired of authors using serious topics as off-hand remarks as a lazy way to make their world daker and grittier. Plus, these footnotes were just so incredibly cringy that I would recoil from second-hand embarrassment every time. They resemble the things I wrote when I was 14 and trying (and miserably failing) to be funny. Also… there are way too many of them. While at first I appreciated the attempt to deepen the lore of the story (I’m a sucker for world-building), after a while it became evident that the author was just forcing information down our throats without taking the time to actually weave the lore and background into the story itself. It came off as a very lazy way to force exposition.

OVERLY FLOWERY LANGUAGE

This story is BRIMMING with similes and metaphors, like every other sentence is some overly complicated way to describe something that could have been presented in three words. When you include so many metaphors/similes/etc., they begin to lose power. They should allow the reader to extrapolate more meaning and emotion from a sentence, but if the book is bursting at the seams with them, they become increasingly ordinary, to the point of losing all of their luster. One prime example appears on page 30:

“It was a bucktoothed little shithole, and no mistake. Not the most miserable building in all creation. [here there is a footnote about some other inn/brothel] But if the inn were a man and you stumbled into him in a bar, you’d be forgiven for assuming he had—after agreeing enthusiastically to his wife’s request to bring another woman into their marriage bed—discovered his bride making up a pallet for him in the guest room.”

So first of all what the fuck is that supposed to mean? That whole paragraph is a fever dream. Let’s begin with “bucktoothed little shithole”. Bucktoothed? Really? What does that mean. Please, someone explain to be right now what a bucktoothed building is. Is it uneven? Is it awkward? Is it half-finished? Is one side longer than the other? Did they do a bad paint job that only covers on side? Are the windows askew? Is the door too big for its frame? We already know from the paragraph above that it is “disheveled” as well, so why the need for another weird phrasing of its appearance? We then move on to that whole JOURNEY of a sentence, where the inn is compared to a man being cuckolded. That is the most insane tale-can you imagine running into someone in a bar and that story being the VERY FIRST thing that runs through your mind??? I know I’m focusing way too much on this stupid paragraph, but basically what I am trying to get at is that even though we spend half a page talking about how bucktoothed and disheveled and cuckolded this building is, we get no actual physical description of it. Imagine if Kristoff had just written that it was a run-down, ill-kept building that looked as worse for wear as its owner did. Done, one sentence. Great. Let’s move on. Instead, we spend so long reading these absolutely batshit descriptions that ultimately tell us next to nothing. Flowery language is placed over actual context. You may think that a description this long and complex means that this inn is a significant or recurring setting in the novel. Nope. It’s not. Mia leaves and that’s that. The reason that I’m focusing so much on this objectively irrelevant paragraph is because it is so representative of the biggest issue I have with the writing in this book. There are so many unnecessary comparisons that function only to make the author feel clever rather than add anything to the story at all. It’s very à la 2010s Tumblr.

THE (IN MY OPINION, BAD) WRITING

For the first half of the book, we are constantly being TOLD things rather than being SHOWN things. With the exception of one of the teachers cutting off Mia’s arm, we rarely see the ruthlessness that the assassins are so feared for, but we hear about it in nearly every other sentence Where are the consequences? I think this book would have been way more enjoyable if there were actually consequences to the characters’ actions. The inclusion of the weaver and the weird vampire guy completely remove any tension regarding the fate of the central cast. When Mia had her arm chopped off, I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised. How was she going to overcome this unexpected obstacle in her training? Then a couple pages later, its reattached with absolutely no lasting consequences. All of the initial tension and shock value of the loss of Mia’s arm is entirely removed because of the two incest-y siblings. Their entire purpose for existing is just to undo all damage to the main characters. Then suddenly, out of the blue, Mia is willing to take on a ton of consequences and completely throw away her chance at becoming initiated in order to avenge her family just to save Tric from receiving like one punishment??? Like why?? As an aside, the only moment I truly enjoyed was when Ash fucking stabbed Tric to death. I assume that when the reader’s favorite moment is one of the central characters’ death, it does not bode well for their reception of the book.

THE THEMES

TW: rape-y subjects

The author seemed a little too keen to include rape and sexual assault in his story. Mia withdrew her consent in the sex scene in the very first chapter, and even if you read it as consensual (which I do not), it is described as incredibly unpleasant on her end. Tric is the result of a rape, which is brought up several times throughout the story. Further, Mia is constantly facing harassment from men. I understand that this is frames the idea that the world she lives in is misogynistic and ruthless, but there are other ways to push that idea through other than constantly putting in her in those situations. As in, this didn’t need to be the ONLY way we explored this subject. Beyond the uncomfortable propensity for sexual assault, I also very much disliked the sexualization of the 16-year-old main character. Oh. My. Gosh. Mia is CONSTANTLY sexualized. Every single damn character makes comments about her body, how hot she is, how much sex she potentially has. It is so weird and uncomfortable. I feel the need to reiterate that she is SIXTEEN. There is, however, a focus placed on the power Mia can gain from seducing her targets. Girl power? Not to me, really. The issue I have with this is the idea that a woman has to be overtly sexual in order to be considered powerful. This is something that we can see in many female assassins and supposedly powerful female characters in fiction (like Black Widow) especially those written by men. Now, there is nothing wrong with using one’s sexuality as a weapon, and I’m certainly not saying that a strong female character cannot be sexual, but the idea that a sixteen-year-old girl is shown having her body painfully modified tp be more desirable, and in a graphic sex scene with another character, in order to for the reader to read her as liberated and powerful does not sit well with me. I don’t really feel like this aspect of her training should be relevant to the overall story. I wish the time that Kristoff had dedicated to hammering into our heads that Mia is a femme fatale to developing her Darkin powers instead. The way she is written now feels more like she is a faux strong female character written for a male audience.

Secondly, Mia is fully written as “the plain-girl-who-is-actually-pretty”. This whole trope bothers me IMMENSELY. YA is full of girls who are described as plain, forgettable, or ugly while their physical descriptions are just the dictionary definition of conventionally attractive. It seems like a way to market off of girls’ self-consciousness while still being able to market the main character as a hot heroine in official art. And there is, of course, the issue of Mia’s boob job Readwithcindy (just “withcindy” now!) did a whole video about this so I won’t get into it much just to repeat what she already said, but I agree that the idea of a 30-something year old man including this completely unnecessary detail regarding the sexualization of teenage girl, who we have ALREADY seen in a rape and being sexualized by other men in the story, made me really, really, uncomfortable. I highly recommend you go watch her video, as she touches on this in way more detail. [Cindy's video

RATINGS

Worldbuilding: ★★☆☆☆

A lot of thought obviously went into the world-the mythology, society, and politics are well-thought out. But the way they are introduced is annoying and bland. It seems like the author put a lot of effort into constructing this world but realized a lot of it would be left out of the book, so he crammed it into footnotes instead.

Tone and writing style: ★☆☆☆☆ for first half, ★★★☆☆ for second half

The tone of the first half is all over the place, like it doesn’t know if it should be dark and gritty or comical and immature. Footnotes and character dialogue ranges from lighthearted and crass to seeped with themes of torture and sexual assault. It is jarring, to say the least, and often feels like the author doesn’t take these ideas of rape or violence seriously. There are so many instances where the scene is tense or gritty, and Kristoff is actually writing it pretty well, I’m enthralled and on the edge of my seat, and then Mia or some other character (or the footnotes) throw in some stupid comment or make the same “Mia is such an asshole lol” joke for the billionth time and completely ruin the mood of that scene. The second half of the book moved much faster and was helped with way better writing, but it really did not do enough to make up for the horrendous structure of the first half of the book.

Pacing and structure: ★☆☆☆☆

The first half of the book really drags on. Once we arrive at the school, there are constant jumps in timeline, marked with periods when a thousand things happen all at once and the plot moves forward at a dizzying rate, and others when the characters just seem to be going about their daily lessons.

Concept: ★★★☆☆

I found the overall idea of the books to be very interesting, even though it is certainly not the most original or unique concept for a YA fantasy book. The issue is that the potential is squandered with a poor execution.

Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

I truly did not care about any of the characters. The token mean girl, the bumbling nice-guy-who-is-definitely-the-love-interest. too many of the characters just sat nicely within their tropes, doing nothing much to pique my interests. I think my favorite overall was Mister Kindly.

[mythicalbinicorn]

Hey could you talk about the oc's you were telling me about? I'm curious about them.

You got it! I have alot though, so buckle up 

 Crestri/Insomniai: She's half human, with her "mother" being a Lu'ai person (a race I made up)(also, "mother" is the closest term to what they use) who is married to Edward Nygma. She exists in 2 worlds, the Young Justice show, and the DCAMU. In the DCAMU!Verse she is the main adversary of Lady Light, however is good friends with her alter ego, Elayne Leclair. She is also the SoS' pseudo mother (more ocs you'll meet in a minute) She is over 2 000 years old, and has a lot of abandonment issues. She has morals, and refuses to do things for the Light (which she is a part of in the YJ!Verse) if it seriously hurts children. Her powers include: shape shifting, voice mimicry, illusions, portal creation, and has alot of magical capabilities. Also, YJ!Verse Crestri sees Klarion as a little brother. 

 Elayne Leclair/Lady Light: She's a young French woman with the ability to absorb energy around her and use it. She ia a fashion designer (Yes, she made her own suit) and is good friends with Crestri (They do know abt each others alter egos). She lost one of her arms saving Damian Wayne, and nearly gave Bruce a fucking heart attack. On that note! She's part of the Justice League and is good friends with Hal and Barry, the three often teaming up to annoy Bruce. She is also in a relationship with Bruce Wayne, but that's really only one part of her life. She's both serious and silly, something that can be both helpful and annoying to the Big Bad Bat. She exists only in the DCAMU!Verse  

Vallili Dru-Zod/Superflare: She is the daughter of General Zod and a Kryptonian woman who wasn't on Krypton when it fell. She was adopted by the Kent's after her mother sent her to Earth, due to developing a terminal illness. Vallili exists only in the YJ!Verse, however not at the same time as Crestri or alot of the others. She is lesbian, and falls in love with Demand'r (Wally dubbing them the "Space Lesbians"). 

 Demand'r/Sunfire: She is a young Tamaranean princess, and sister to Komand'r, Koriand'r, and Ryand'r. She was kidnapped when she was young and doesn't see her family for years. She is also a lesbian and returns Vallili's love. Demand'r is strong and kind, often going out of her way to help her friends. 

Noania/Nalliand'r/Solar: She is a clone made by the dna of both Vallili and Demand'r, and they took her in as soon as they found her. She's very young, but when she does grow up she will be part of the YJ team along with the other hero children. She has a tiny crush on Artur (Aquaman and Mera's son). 

 Nikolai and Nicole Hunter/Predator and Prowler: They are twins who became orphans after their parents "died" (only on of them is dead). They are extremely close to each other, and rarely do things without the other. When they were 13 Nikolai suggested they become vigilantes because they had powers those being cat-like scences, claws, and a small healing factor. Their father is Luke Hunter. They exist in the YJ!Verse and the DCAMU!Verse. Trixie is one of their closest friends, her being Nicole's bestfriend and Nikolai's crush/girlfriend. Speaking of crushes, Nicole has the biggest one on Garfield Logan. Nick is very feminine in general, while Nicki is somewhere between feminine and androgynous. My favourite fact about nick is that he wears dresses, skirts and makeup with no regrets. 

 Kameela Ahmad: She is a Muslim scientist who adopts the twins after discovering their "extra activities". She supplies them their gear and a home. Kameela is extremely smart and often works with S.T.A.R. Labs. She is now in a wheelchair due to something that happened at S.T.A.R. Labs. Kameela exists in both the YJ!Verse and DCAMU!Verse. 

 Durriyah Ahmad: The younger sister to Kameela, she is a meta human with limited reality manipulation. She is still young, and very much looks up to her sister. 

 Luke Hunter/Dark Claw: He's the father of the twins, and is the one they inherited their powers from. After heroes failed to save his wife, he faked his death and became "Dark Claw". He later found out his children were Predator and prowler, and allows himself to get caught and sent to prison. 

Beatrix Taylor-Queen/Quiver: Known as Trixie to everyone, she is the daughter of Oliver Queen, although he didn't know about her till she was around 15-16. She decided to become Quiver after being saved by Roy/Will Harper (depending on the universe) and is very close with him. She doesn't like her father much, bacause she's scared that she's just a charity case for him. 

 NOW ONTO THE SISTERHOOD OF STEEL (they only exist in the DCAMU!Verse) 

Melody Prowell/Ballad: She is the daughter to Dennis and Sophia Prowell, being very close to bother parents she definitely inherited Dennis' penchant for theatrics, and is the most well adjusted member. She is in a relationship with Kon-El, them often leaving their respective teams for dates. 

 Sophia Prowell: Not much is known about her yet, only that she is married to Dennis Prowell and is one of the most talented voice actors known. She is incredibly close to her daughter. 

 Andreia Drakor/Oblivia: Andi is the daughter of Ares, and she begins the sos as a way to please him. She is in love with Darcy, and after only her death does Andreia become less of a villain and more an anti-hero. 

 Emiko Takahashi/Kira: Her family was killed by assassins when she was young, and her emotional state has been going downhill since. She was taken in by a League of assassins member, Black Spider, and took on the name "Kira", cutting out the tongue of anyone who calls her Emiko. She is close to all of the SOS, and later follows them in becoming anti-heroes. She is unofficially adopted by Bruce Wayne. 

Darcy Merryland/Red Lantern/Star Sapphire: After her father murders her mother, she gains a Red Lanturn ring to exact her revenge. She starts out cold and fulll of rage, but becomes more mild as the years go by. She later she discovers she love Andreia and her ring rejects her, and she dies in Andreia's arms. She is resurrected later and is given a Violet Power Ring. She leaves Earth for a while, later coming back and reuniting with the SOS (done with the sos) 

 Penelope Isley-Qinn/Red Thorn: She is a clone of Harley and Ivy the created. She is part of the Teen Titans (2003 ver.). Penny has a plant she created, named Walter. Walter is carnivorous, and Beast Boy has gotten stuck in him. She is in a poly relationship with Raven and Beast Boy. 

 NOW FOR MY NON-TV/MOVIE OCS (all of them exist in the comic books) 

 Aretha Diamondis/Valor: Adopted by Athena after her parents dies, Aretha is incredibly loyal. She was granted powers by Athena that she uses to fight bad guys. She is also in a relationship with Kon-El. 

 Daphne Galitz/Spectre: She is a young Jewish girl with the ability to turn invisible and phase through stuff. She is energetic and kind, and in a relationship with Bart Allen, something that annoys the bad guys to know end. This is because they now have to deal with two times the taunting. 

 And lastly,Caelan Sideris/Mayhem: He is the son of Ares, and is originally a villain. He turns sides after his father seriously injures Aretha, who has shown him nothing but kindness (albeit a strict kindness at times) I hope this helped, I'm still flushing out alot of my characters

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, January 20

Cover: John F. Kennedy’s 8 secret lovers exposed 

Page 2: Secrets behind To Catch a Thief 

Page 4: Wildest White House scandals exposed 

Page 7: How to forgive and move forward 

Page 8: 10 signs you need more water 

Page 9: The power of angels 

Page 10: Kindergartner pays off 123 kids’ lunch debt by selling cookies and hot cocoa 

Page 11: Your Health -- 5 foods that really fight pain 

Page 12: Celine Dion is ready for love again

Page 14: Dear Tony -- Daughter-in-law issues will run their course, Tony predicts Daniel Craig will get involved in big business and make a lot more money 

Page 15: A New York man gave up his first-class seat so an 88-year-old woman with a knee replacement could fly across the Atlantic in comfort 

Page 16: Priscilla Presley’s grandkids are her greatest treasure -- they keep her memories of Elvis alive 

Page 18: 14-year-old Isaac Johnson is the proud owner of the Guinness World Record for biggest gape 

Page 19: Bonita the pit bull mix had the best going-away party a pup could want -- the staff of the animal shelter where she had lived for 500 days tosses confetti as the excited ball of energy pranced off with her new owner -- Please Adopt, Don’t Shop 

Page 20: Cover Story -- Mob blackmailed President John Kennedy with sex tapes 

Page 22: Four guys who share an apartment with a no-pets policy missed having a dog so they wrote to folks across the way asking to play with theirs and got a surprise response -- the dog wrote back 

Page 24: A little girl with a rare auto-immune disease got a second chance at life and now she has finally met the man who gave it to her, a complete stranger who donated his bone marrow 

Page 26: Billy Dee Williams played the smuggler Lando Calrissian in The Empire Strikes Back almost 40 years ago and he’s back again in the last film of the Star Wars franchise and even he’s astounded 

Page 36: True Crime 

Page 41: Marvel Comics Ultimate Battles collection -- Issue Two will be Loki vs. Thor

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Kevin Costner at a political rally in Indiana, Marie Osmond says fame is a funny thing, Wheel of Fortune host Pat Sajak is feeling great after surgery, the iconic cape worn by Christopher Reeve in Superman was snapped up for $193,750, rocker Bryan Adams has maintained a vegan diet for 30 years and claims it’s the reason for his youthful appearance, Lindsey Vonn is already engaged to hockey player P.K. Subban but that didn’t stop her from proposing to him because she believes men should wear engagement rings too 

Page 45: Joan Collins, Angelina Jolie and daughters Zahara and Shiloh, injury-plagued Madonna had to cancel yet another show on her Madame X tour because of indescribable pain, Harry Hamlin thought it was a horrible idea for Lisa Rinna to join the cast of RHOBH

[thelittlesushithatcould]

Fallout Meme!

I saw this on @courierspikeee and I noticed one of the tags was anyone who thought ED-E was the goodest boy, and i am 100% in that camp, so I hope nobody minds if I do this ;) Rules:

1. Choose an OC.

2. Answer them as that OC.

3. Tag 5 people to do the same.

1. What is your name?

"Doctor Wanda Thompson, of the Institute!” She laughs “oh, don’t give me that look”

2. How old are you?

"well that’s what we call a ‘complication’ . In reality I’m somewhere around 245? Give or take a few years. Being flash frozen really does a number on your sense of time”

3. What do you look like?

"Me? Oh, you know...curly brown hair, tan complexion, I’ve gotten a little softer as I’ve gotten older, more curves than in my youth.” She rubs her hand “I’ve also gotten some radiation burns during the course of my research. My hands, particularly, and a bit over my lip” She laughs “I like to think I look like a proper scientist, as well as a mother”

4. Where are you from? Where do you live now?

Wanda thinks for a moment, a small smile on her lips that catches on her scar, turning it a little lopsided “I was born on the cape. Over by Hyannis.” She pauses “I moved to Boston after that, to attend the Institute.” She shakes her head “i still live in Boston. just...under it, I suppose”

5. What was your childhood like?

“Wonderful” She laughs, and claps her hands together with a jovial grin “Simply wonderful! I spent more days than I could count out there on the sandy beaches, collecting samples of sea critters and studying them in their natural habitats” She leans on her hand , smiling “I can still smell the salt in the air, when I really think about it”

6. What groups are you friendly with? Are you allied with any factions?

“The Institute” She says without missing a beat “I’m their Director after all.” She waves her gloved fingers dismissively "I took the liberty of changing our standards and practices away from Playing God and into actually helping someone for a change.” “As for allies...well. I met this nice man who claims to have been a courier once. Rules Vegas now, he says. We hit it off fairly well.. and heavens... I suppose there’s the woman who took over Pittsburgh from those slavers...”

7. Tell me about your best friend.

“Nick? He’s fantastic” She points “I’ve never met a finer detective in my life. Even if he refuses to let me help mend his synthskin. Stubborn old bastard”

8. Do you have a family? Tell me about them!

“My husband. He died when we were all frozen, but...there were some strange circumstances involving Institute tech that helped us find one another through the barrier of life and death” She pauses, and frowns slightly “ah. And we had a son. but he turned out to be...well. We don’t like to talk about him”

9. What about a partner or partners?

“Curie! My beloved!” She hugs herself with an ear to ear smile “the cutest robot I’ve ever met in my entire life. I helped her get a body, you know. And for the longest time it was just me and her in the wasteland! Now Thomas, Curie and I all intermingle in a lovely little poly amorous triangle”

10. Who are your enemies, and why?

“oh hoho...” She covers her mouth “Bandits. The Gunners. the Enclave. The Brotherhood of Steel. Covenant. Rogue Institute Personnel..Honestly I’m probably forgetting a few”

11. Have you ever heard of The Brotherhood of Steel? What do you think about them?

“They call me the Bane of Steel for a reason” She smiles,  though there’s something almost vicious in it “When they tried to ‘help’ the Commonwealth by killing anything they wished and hoarding tech...” She mimes shooting into the sky “My one regret is that I didn’t keep their airship. Oh well”

12. What about The Enclave?

“HAH!” she laughs out loud, clapping her hands together again “Terrible! The worst idea I’ve ever heard! America fell, you old loons, rebuild it as something new instead of rehashing the same mistakes all over again”

13. How do you feel about Super Mutants?

“Fascinating creatures. I only wish I could meet the ones from the early West Coast. They’re a real testament to the FEV. If only they’d stop trying to fill me with holes long enough for a proper interview..”

14. What’s the craziest fight you’ve ever been in?

“oh...” she sighed “the time my friends and I destroyed the BoS?” She shrugs slightly “I went up into their blimp, and walked right up to that pompous ass who called himself their leader, before vaporizing him. I did manage to preserve his coat” She smiles slightly “Then we had to fight our way out of a sea of trained soldiers to get back to the ground and organize the destruction of their funny little blimp”

15. Have you ever fought a Deathclaw?

“Heavens yes, and I wish I hadn’t. They’re too gorgeous to kill!”

16. Do you like fighting?

“not really” She folds her fingers together with a sad look in her eyes “It’s always sad to have to harm someone or something. And to take a life is always a weight on the soul” She closes her eyes “but to fix the world, you have to survive...”

17. What’s your weapon of choice?

“Energy Weapons” She says with a bright smile “nothing like holding a buzzing laser rifle in your hands and feeling the raw INNOVATION that went into it” She shook her head “i also have a serrated revolutionary war sword I hooked a battery onto that i’m fond of”

18. How do you survive? Your wits, your charm, your skills, brute force, some combination? (a.k.a. what’s your S.P.E.C.I.A.L?)

“Intelligence” She said , holding up her hand “with a side helping of Charisma. You need to have a keen mind in the field of science. To analyze, theorize and know how to convince others to put those theories into practice...” She tapped her head “that’s the key to changing the world”

19. Have you ever been in a vault? What do you think about them?

“I’ve always hated Vault Tec. They invited me to join their little experiment, but I declined in favor of continuing my research into radiation and mutation. And then the damned bastards froze me!”

20. How do you beat all the radiation around here? Has it affected you?

“I wrote several studies on the effects of radiation exposure on the human body! hah, so I have some ideas on how to prevent it. Some lead lining in the clothes, lots of Rad-x and Radaway transfusions....building decontamination arches over all my doors. The usual stuff”

21. What’s your favorite wasteland critter?

“I love those funny little geckos” She smiled “They’re just so precious!”

22. What’s your least favorite wasteland critter?

“Cazadors” She frowned “i knew the idiot who made them back in the day. Hated him then. Damned fool made a flying plague”

23. How do you feel about robots?

“I ADORE robots” She says with almost girlish glee “I’ve always found them so interesting! While I’m a biologist by trade, I’ve always appreciated the sheer science of a robot. That glowing chrome...that hydraulic power...” She looks like she’s going to go on about this for a distressingly long time.

24. How many caps do you have on you right now?

“More than enough to fix the Commonwealth”

25. Nuka Cola or Sunset Sarsaparilla?

"Nuka Cola is absolute swill” She sniffs “ I’m a Sunset Sarsaparilla girl, myself. and just a little side note from one of my studies: Nuka Cola can melt a crab. A whole crab. Just saying!

26. Do you do chems?

“Mentats, Sometimes. I hate the damned things, but damn were they useful during particularly long and stressful studies”

27. Do you ever think about the Pre-War world?

“All the time. I remember it in all it’s glory...in all it’s faults. It was a flawed society built upon fear...but it was also peaceful, and comfortable... a place full of friends I’ll never see again...” She bites her lip gently “...I’ll help the Wasteland become something better... the Old World without it’s flaws..”

28. What’s your deepest regret? What would you do differently?

“Everything. I would have spoken up about the ethical issues I saw in the Institute before the war even began. I would have found another way to survive that wasn’t Vault Tec and it’s Trap. The ...the synth project maybe. I don’t know. I can’t dwell on this question too long without regretting almost everything I’ve done prior to my choice to change the Institute and fix the wasteland”

29. What’s your biggest achievement? Or what do you hope to achieve?

“Which leads us into this.. hah. When my son passed away, he left the Institute to me. in my hands. He trusted I’d keep us on the course he chose...but he was wrong. The Synths were an exercise in needless cruelty. A species created, given sentience and then called slaves and tools. I ...reorganized...the head committee, and demanded a stop to the hunting and production of synths. No more bodysnatching. no more ‘property retrieval’ . No more. There were those who fought me...and there were those who tried to remove me. But I’m stronger than I seem.” She smiled grimly “I got them to see things my way eventually. And with that, the Institute’s copious resources could be turned outward...and used to help the Commonwealth at large”

30. What do you want for the future? For yourself? Your friends? The world? ”I want...” She looks into the middle distance for a moment in thought “A world where we can all live in peaceful co-existence. Ghouls. Synths. Super Mutants, humans, true robots, and anyone else in that great wide world...I want a world where we can all work towards a mutual understanding and betterment of this wonderful Second Chance we’ve all been given”  And now for the tagging <3 @queenofblackcrows @spookdoggy @corpsewyrm @ all those who think Curie is a sweetheart @ all fallout fans who may see this? idk <3

[humansofoz]

April 9, 2019

“Self-love is respecting my beautiful body. Yes it is beautiful. It was divinely designed especially for me. A sacred creation for self-knowledge which brings me limitless opportunities to experience myself in each moment.” -Michelle M. McGrath

Jade Laplante. 19. SUNY Oswego Sophomore. 

HoOz- What was your greatest struggle at age 16?

Jade- I mean high school is hard. I had a lot of people who bullied me when I was younger. So going through being bullied, a lot of body image issues growing up, trying to stay on top of my academics but not always doing as well as I wanted because I’m a perfectionist and sometimes don’t get perfect results, getting my permit, and basic 16 year old things to be excited about. Boys. They’re boys so they’re like stupid sometimes. Overall just trying to find out who I am as a person, which at 16 I don’t think I was able to do. At 16 I think I was very much in a place where I was kind of lost, didn’t really know where I was at with myself, didn’t really know who I was or where I wanted to be or do.

HoOz- You have grown since then and are now a very positive person. What was that journey like for you?

Jade- So when I was younger I hated my body because I was like I don’t look like other girls. I have a very athletic build and overall just kind of a bigger person. I was never like super overweight but I was never overweight and because of society’s image of what we needed in life, in my brain at that age I was like this is what I’m supposed to look like and I don’t look like that so I don’t fit standards so I’m not beautiful. I then got to college and realized that’s not the case. I’m beautiful for how I am and I wanted to focus on just bettering myself and loving myself because I can only change so much. Not focusing on loving myself and focusing on trying to change it all the time wasted my energy. Being able to look in the mirror and tell myself I’m beautiful is hard, but I put work into it. It’s not supposed to be easy. If it was easy everyone would be doing it and no one would have any problems. Just reminding myself that I’m worthy of love, that I’m worthy of all of the things I deserve in life, that I’m beautiful, and just that daily reminder. It gets hard sometimes because you know sometimes you’re having a rough day and you look at yourself and you’re like I don’t like what I’m seeing right now. But I kind of just have to reset my brain and remind myself that I am beautiful, I’m having a bad day but I’m beautiful inside and out and I need to take the time to recognize that.

HoOz- What was your most memorable childhood experience?

Jade- This is kind of a sad one but it kind of relates to this. When I was in middle school, that’s when bullying was the worst for me. I never knew how to stand up for myself until I started martial arts. That really taught me how to, you know, if someone messes with me they better watch out. I was in eighth grade and I was in gym class. So gym, the worst, especially in middle school. There was this group of girls that bullied me all the time. Kind of just all around school they would harass me, they would pick on me, they would take my homework and copy the answers and the teacher would watch it happen but do nothing because they were the popular kids. In eighth grade I was in gym class and I was bickering with one girl and I had enough. We got back to the locker room and we’re calling each other names, she calls me a bitch, I’m not having it, and I almost punched her in the face. The gym teacher walked in like seconds before. Those memory kinds of sticks in my brain because that’s when I finally stood up for myself and was like I’ve had enough, like literally stop picking on me. It’s wasting your time and wasting mine. Why are we using this energy to be negative? Like why can’t we put some positive energy into the world instead? Positivity is one of my top strengths; it’s something I’m all about. So especially when I was younger I didn’t understand why people were putting this negative energy in the world. Like who is this benefitting? Why is it necessary? That memory kind of just sticks in my brain as the first time I was finally able to stand up for myself and say I’m not gonna take this any longer.

HoOz- Do you have any siblings?

Jade- I have two. I have an older brother, his name is Felix. He will be 21 in May so he’s 20 right now. He goes to Nazareth College and he’s studying Music Education. And then I have a younger sister named Angelique but we call her Angel. She is 14 so she’s in eighth grade.

HoOz- What is your relationship like with your siblings?

Jade- My brother is one of my best friends. Absolutely love him to death. When we were kids, we were super close and when we got to like middle school and high school we bickered a lot which is expected from siblings that are a year apart and opposite gender. That’s usually how that goes in a lot of situations. Once we got to high school though and we kind of got past our angsty phase and found especially music to relate on, we grew really close. Then me leaving to go to college actually brought us closer. So now when I go him it’s like nothing has changed. We go out, we do things, and it makes me recognize how close my relationship with him is and how much I appreciate it. My younger sister, we had a really bad relationship until I left for college. Again, kind of just bickering all the time. She didn’t like that my mom would put me in charge because she’s very autonomous. She doesn’t like being told what to do, so me not being mom and telling her like hey you need to do your homework before mom gets home, she hated that. So we didn’t have the best relationship. Now that I’m in college, my sister actually is in partial treatment right now being treated for anxiety and depression and suicidal tendencies, which is hard because I’m not there to support her through it all. When I do go home the smile on her face and her getting excited to see me, she asks when I’m coming home. Making her day makes me happy. Our relationship is a lot better now and as much as I wish I could be home to support her through all of those things, I think me coming home in those times because I’m away makes those moments so much more special to her.

HoOz- You’re very involved on campus and have been since last year. What made you want to get involved so early in your college experience?

Jade- When I was in high school I wasn’t super involved. I did stuff in my music department and I played softball but I actually went and played softball in a different town because again, girls are mean and I was like instead of fighting them I’m gonna take myself out of the situation completely and go play with a better group of girls. So I didn’t do a lot in high school and then I got to college and I was like you know, I feel like this is a place where I can grow. This is an opportunity to develop myself as a person. It’s crazy to think about where I started when I was a first year and I walked to the first club softball practice. I was so nervous because I was the only freshman there and all these juniors and seniors and sophomores all know each other and they’re all friends, but they were so welcoming. That environment made me feel safe to be able to be myself, which is something I didn’t always have in high school. So just be me, just being Jade was so exciting for me. My orientation experience was really awesome. I had Colleen as a Laker Leader. Wonderful, like she inspired me to be a Laker Leader so that got me involved in that. Seeing other people in leadership roles around me inspired me to want to follow their footsteps. So from moving up into the eboard in club softball, to getting more leadership roles there and seeing the different side of softball that I never saw when I was younger, to getting involved in student government. I joined Senate because I was pissed about the equal pay and I was like I’m not gonna just sit here and let this happen. I can protest all I want but I want real change to happen, so I joined Senate to make that change happen. Finding my voice as a student and SUNY Oswego giving me opportunities to do that and not only give myself a voice but give the students a voice has been an amazing experience. Being able to support my residents through the struggles I went through my freshman year and helping first year students transition the way that I needed that support just warms my heart. It makes me happy. It makes me feel like I have a purpose on this campus and this campus gives me an opportunity to have that purpose.

HoOz- What is your biggest flaw?

Jade- My biggest flaw is I’m such a perfectionist and I refuse to accept help. Those two together- bad! There are so many times when I need to cut slack on myself and I’m pushing myself way too hard to be reaching standards that are unattainable. We all want a 4.0. Sometimes it doesn’t happen and I beat myself up about it because I’m setting this standard for myself which is not like unattainable but it’s like if I don’t get it, it’s the end of the world in my brain. That combined with the fact that I won’t ask for help a lot of the time, I don’t like asking for help. I feel like if I just combined being less of a perfectionist and accepting help I’d be able to achieve more of my goals, but because I like to be independent and I’m like I can do this myself I don’t need help, it affects my performance sometimes. So I’ve been trying to grow and accept the fact that I can’t really do this by myself and who can I rely on to support me has been a big step for me. But I’m still working on it as always.

HoOz- What is your biggest strength?

Jade- I think my biggest strength is my passion. Everything I do I’m very passionate about it. I don’t believe in meaningless work. I think if you’re gonna do something you’re gonna do it right and you’re gonna do it with proper energy. I care about the things I do. There’s a reason why I’m involved with what I’m involved in. I wouldn’t be involved in these things if I didn’t care about them. So I put forth all of my passion in these things because I want people to recognize that I truly care. I’m not just doing this for a paycheck, I’m not just doing this for a resume builder, and I genuinely care about the growth of others and the growth of this campus and my own personal growth. I think putting that passion into everything I do shows through my work as a whole.

HoOz- Where do you see yourself in 5-10 years?

Jade- In five I would have hopefully graduated grad school with my Master’s degree in Higher Education and Student Affairs and I will hopefully be working at an institution. Not sure where yet. Probably not New York though, I need a change of scenery. Working hopefully in Orientation or Diversity and Inclusion because those are the two things that I’m very passionate about. If I can find a way to combine both, I would. So hopefully Orientation with a focus on inclusion and diversity on our campus, retaining students from lots of different areas, bringing everyone together in an inclusive environment, and just making change on a college campus.

HoOz- If you could tell your future self one thing what would it be?

Jade- Be patient and trust the process. I know that I’m gonna go through some stuff throughout these next few years. I know it’s not gonna be easy. But just have faith that these things are happening for a reason. Trust the process.

[what-the-hekate]

The Becoming

There’s a lot I want to do with this blog, and I’m still putting it together in my head. I do know that I want to use it as a space to share my thoughts on witchcraft and related subjects, some of it centered around research into particular topics, and some of it just what I’ve been thinking about.

Right now, I have a lot of stray thoughts that aren’t ready to be developed into posts of their own. As I sat down to type some of them out and see where they went, I ended up running pretty far with a piece about my personal journey into witchcraft. And that seems as good a place as any to start.

I suppose I’ve always been attracted to the strange and supernatural, but I didn’t think of myself a witch (or even consider it) until I was a teenager. This was during the teen witch craze of the 1990s, when the movie The Craft and the TV series Charmed reintroduced the idea of witchcraft as something appealing and empowering to young women. I don’t remember which of my friends first got the idea to dabble in witchcraft; maybe it was me, maybe not. I do remember that someone got hold of a copy of a Silver RavenWolf book, probably Teen Witch, and that we had to pass it around because the girl who actually owned it was afraid her parents would find it in her room.

Looking back, I have mixed feelings about those books. I feel lucky that I was the right age at the right time to have that option offered to me—that I was a teenage girl in the 90s listening to Tori Amos and Liz Phair and Ani DiFranco and Paula Cole and Alanis Morissette, and that Buffy the Vampire Slayer was on TV, and that pop culture in general was telling me I had power at the point in my life when I could’ve felt the most powerless.

Which Witch? A wordgame

At the same time, I wish there had been a greater variety of voices to hear about witchcraft from. Silver RavenWolf may have been a driving force behind a generation’s interest in witchcraft and Wicca, but her books were also full of bad information and skewed heavily towards one version of witchcraft. She doesn’t clearly distinguish between “witch” and “Wiccan”, and I think the passage in To Ride a Silver Broomstick about her associations with those two words explains why, but I also think it’s important to be clear that they aren’t wholly interchangeable. You can be a witch and not be a Wiccan; her books are about how to be a Wiccan. That’s what I tried to be as a teenager, and ultimately it’s why I drifted away from witchcraft in general over the next few years.

(Let me go ahead and say: Wicca is right for some people, and that’s fine. It’s not right for me.)

Some of my aversion to the Wiccan version of being a witch is instinctual and was pinged early on. when I was reading those Silver RavenWolf books. For me, being a witch was about female empowerment and independence, so I was confused when I got to the bit about worshiping a dual deity, the Goddess and the God. I never gelled with the Horned God on any level. It wasn’t to do with the similarity to the Christian devil; I wasn’t raised religious and I had no particularly strong feelings about anything in the Christian universe. I just didn’t feel at all compelled to adopt a central deity (or two) in general, and I really wasn’t interested in a male one.

Nor did I really care for the heterosexual duality of the Goddess/God, and all the binary sexual symbolism of things like the Great Rite and chalices and athames. At the time, I wasn’t consciously aware that I was queer (probably because it just wasn’t a possibility that I was exposed to very much). But I reacted to this whole Goddess/God thing turning up in my magical female empowerment pretty much the same way I reacted to a romance subplot suddenly taking center stage in a book I was enjoying. It wasn’t a dealbreaker, but I couldn’t help being annoyed that it was distracting from the stuff I was really there for.

Honestly, what probably played the biggest overt role in my move away from Wicca was simply that it was a religion. I’m just not cut out for religions. I find them interesting, and there are pieces of them that work for me sometimes, but on the whole it’s just not something that’s ever going to be a part of my life. Wicca is a very demanding religion. It’s highly ritualized, from the major holidays (the eight sabbats, plus the 12-13 esbats) down to the daily practices of spellwork. There is just a lot to do, and a lot of specificity about when and how to do it. I have enough trouble disciplining myself to do the other things I’m obligated to do in my life, like work and school and errands and keeping my house reasonably tidy and eating a vegetable on a regular basis. I was way worse at this at 14 or 15 years old. I got tired of rituals fast.

So TL;DR, I did not end up being a Wiccan. And because I’d gotten the idea that, in real life, witch = Wiccan, I didn’t think of myself as a witch anymore, either. If I have any lasting bitterness toward that segment of my path, that’s it. The identity of “witch” was an empowering, beautiful thing that I wish I’d been able to keep in my life even after my dalliance with Wicca was over. There were definitely times I could’ve used it.

In the years after that, I kept on being a little spooky and magical and all the things I’d been that had drawn me to witchcraft in the first place, just without a central identity to pin it all to. It’s interesting how things drift in and out of focus and concreteness depending on whether they have a name. The witch fad gave way to something else the way fads do, Buffy and Charmed eventually ended, and I didn’t think much about witches again until recently.

There’s a lot to delve into about why witchcraft has its resurgences when it has them; probably there are already a lot of essays on the subject. But generally, I think you tend to find women thinking witchy thoughts at times when they’re particularly under threat.

Much of my early/middle-early adult life coincided with the Obama administration. I’d only become really aware of politics toward the end of the Bush era. When 9/11 happened, I was in the middle of an unrelated nervous breakdown and just did not have the spoons to think critically about political issues; I was also 16 years old. I didn’t realize how fucked up things like the PATRIOT Act were until years down the line. I was in the dark in more ways than one, dealing with undiagnosed depression and anxiety and having to claw my way up out of its depths without even medication to give me a boost.

A Musical Interlude: What does this have to do with witchcraft...?

Two things kept me just this side of insane when I was in the depths: writing and listening to music. Of the latter, I still had the female artists who’d taught me how to be a woman, thank fucking god for them. And as I was trying to find a foothold in the long slow climb out of my depressive pit, I’d come across a Finnish band called HIM; for whatever reason, their particular brand of gothy romantic macabre intellectual music was exactly what my soul resonated with at that moment. I realized that I could vibe with men sometimes, provided they were the type of men who wrote poetry and wore eyeliner and a lot of black. This is probably how I ended up listening to Nine Inch Nails.

I was aware of NIN, as anyone who experienced the 90s was; even if that wasn’t your particular scene, you heard “Closer”. A lot of women around my age credit David Bowie in Labyrinth for their early confusing sexuality-related experience; mine was probably the “Closer” video. I think this explains a lot about me. But besides that, I hadn’t paid much attention to NIN until I ran into them again in 2007 or so, when they were doing this crazy metafictional thing called Year Zero around their latest album. I don’t remember exactly how I found it; maybe via Lost, which had its own thing like that and led me to the niche narrative medium of alternate reality games. Anyway, it was highly political, which was not what I remembered NIN being about, and as I was listening through the band’s back catalog and reading a bazillion interviews with brooding, sarcastic, witty, thoughtful Trent Reznor (look, I’m not completely gay), I got sucked into this thing.

I don’t remember whether I read this while I was diving into Year Zero or after, but in some interview or other I found out that Trent had just come out of his own darkness. He’d struggled with drugs and depression and nearly died, and when he finally got his shit together, he realized how much he’d been oblivious to, in his own life and in the world around him. Year Zero was political because he’d woken up, and it woke me up.

It’s interesting to me now to think that female music and male music acted like an alternating current in my life, one then the other driving me forward, yet I got absolutely zilch out of the hetero-duality of Wicca. I don’t know what to tell you. It’s also interesting that the avatars of that dynamic in my life were Tori Amos and Trent Reznor, since they had an important impact on each others’ lives too (that I didn’t know about till much later). There’s a bit in Tori’s book Piece By Piece where she talks about reconciling with the angry masculine energies she was drawn to at points in her life (I can’t remember if she specifically mentions Trent in that part, but I assume it’s at least somewhat about him), and her realization that she had a need to tap into energy like that sometimes. If anyone is the embodiment of feminine power to me it’s Tori, and reading her words about needing to channel masculine rage did and does resonate with me about the time in my life when male artists’ energies were what I needed to survive and evolve.

So anyway, back on the path: my dark times led me to Nine Inch Nails which, while the music was also helping me heal my soul, also focused my brain on the world I’d been ignoring. I became aware of, and pissed off about, politics in no time flat. I devoured Naomi Wolf’s The End of America: Letter of Warning to a Young Patriot. I watched C-SPAN of my own volition. In short, I realized that the system is fucked up. I realized that the things happening in America were literally insane, and I knew insanity. I learned the word “patriarchy”, but I’d known the thing it named for a long, long time. This was also the point when I realized I’d exhausted my lifetime stores of patience for bullshit and being fucked with; they have not, to this day, been replenished.

And then, like a lot of people, I thought the Obama years meant everything was okay forever. I mean, god, I sure felt like I deserved a break. There were ups and downs even then, but I really had no idea how fast and how far we could plummet down again until 2016.

Witch 2: The Rewitchening

I don’t believe you can be a woman and be aware of what’s going on in the world and not be angry. As I write this, my home state of Alabama has just passed an amendment (which may be useless; we do have the longest mess of a constitution in the world) aimed at undermining women’s right to an abortion. We have a president who says the most vile things about women on a regular basis, and a new Supreme Court Justice who is a rapist. There are a lot of rapists. There are a lot of men who beat up their wives and girlfriends and then go on to shoot up a school or a nightclub or a shopping mall, and we keep acting surprised, and we keep forcing women to share custody with their abusers and berating them for being abused. Women, everywhere, are under attack.

If there’s a single predominant reason I came back to witchcraft now, and why I think a lot of women are coming to witchcraft now, this is it. We are threatened, and that idea of female empowerment and strength and the potential to be feared by those who would harm us and to be fearless... it is as potent and attractive to us now as it was in the 90s, and the 60s, and probably so many times before.

I am a witch. I don’t belong to a religion, and I don’t feel obligated to be a witch according to anyone’s definition but my own. My witchery is a product of the path I’ve taken to this point, and is highly focused around female empowerment; that said, I recognize that other people’s witchery has a different shape, and different (or no) gender, and is religious or isn’t, and I acknowledge and respect that, too. I have zero interest in telling anyone else how to be a witch, or whether they can be.

I started this blog because I need to express myself, but also because I want to contribute to a diversity of voices about witchcraft that wasn’t available to me as a teenager. I want to put things out there in case someone else needs them. Honestly, I’m writing and gathering all the things that will eventually be here for a hypothetical, imaginary-but-maybe-real young witch who is maybe just a ghost of my teenage past, to tell her the things I wish I could’ve heard, and just to remind her that no one can tell you how to be a witch, and no one should try, and that there are so many different ideas and beliefs and voices and experiences out there for her to learn from, including the ones inside herself.

That’s my origin story.

[slayeroftears]

The Problems With RWBY

Now, before I get down to it, let me make one thing clear; I LOVE THE SHOW. I enjoy its story, its characters, the music, the unique animation, etc. I am not just “mindlessly hating on it”. Constructive criticism is given BECAUSE I love the show and is done in the hopes that Miles and Kerry will read it and improve on it. I do not want to hear fans whining about me pointing out the show’s flaws just because they can’t see them or accept them. If criticism is not given, people will not improve.

OK, with that out of the way, LET’S BEGIN!

The first flaw RWBY faces is also the first rule of writing that it’s broken: Show, Don’t Tell. RWBY tells us a bunch of stuff, but never shows it. The one thing that comes to mind, even as you’re reading this, is the alleged racism against Faunus. We’re never actually shown true racism against Faunus within the show.

No, Cardin and Roman don’t count. Cardin is a jerk to everyone around him regardless of species, and Roman’s just evil. He belittles everybody under him except for Neo. We’ve never seen anyone be racist to Faunus within RWBY. The World of Remnant videos also don’t help, as it’s just telling us about it instead of showing us it.

At this point, we could just as easily say that the Faunus are all prejudiced against Humans, as we’ve seen more of THAT than we have of Humans hating Faunus. We need to see more racism within the show, instead of it being told to us. It needs to be subtle, no over-the-top ridiculous displays, something more real. Say a Human buys some Dust for some Lien and leaves, then a Faunus tries to buy some too. Have the Faunus charged more than the Human was. Show racism, but make it look and feel real. Otherwise, there’s no point in this imaginary hate against Faunus.

Another issue is the "controversial labor forces" that the Schnee Dust Company utilizes. So, when we were shown Weiss’ father and brother, why never bring that up? SHOW, DO NOT TELL. NEVER JUST TELL.

Another issue RWBY faces is its characters. Namely, how they’re handled. I’ll be taking a crack at a few of them, so bear with me. First stop; YANG. She lost her arm to Adam, and I theorized back at the end of V3 that she’d face some difficulties, probably have PTSD. Now, know that not everybody who has a traumatic experience will suffer from PTSD. However, Yang showed signs of it in V4, and to RT’s credit, they did it rather well. My mother, who does suffer from it, commented on it (Yes she watches RWBY too), saying that RT managed to do it right. However, as Yang got her arm on and started training, her PTSD looked like it disappeared and she seemed almost right as rain again.

Now, I’ll give RT the benefit of the doubt and say that Yang may NOT be over her PTSD and may be forcing herself upwards and onwards. My mother certainly thinks so, as she did it when she was younger. The result, however, was that it made things worse for her later on. IF Yang really is pushing herself, we need to see proof of it. Little scenes here and there to show that she hasn’t recovered. Hell, have her see a flash of Ruby’s cloak, make her think it’s Adam, and have her almost attack Ruby. I mean, I’d personally like to see it, but my point is, if Yang still suffers from PTSD, show us. Don’t sweep it under the rug, because you don’t recover from it, you just learn to live with it and try to move on. This is coming from someone who sees it every day with his mother.

Next up: Blake. Hoo boy, what most critics will say is the biggest disappointment in Volume 4. After Beacon’s fall and Yang’s cripplement, Blake seemingly did what she vowed never to do again; ran away. She either did it so Adam wouldn’t target her friends anymore, or because she was scared. Who knows? The issue here is it’s not clear. If she ran away so Adam wouldn’t attack her friends or loved ones, why return to her family? Adam swore to destroy EVERYTHING she loved,and you better believe family is on that list. Did she think Adam wouldn’t know she was on Menagerie, or did she think he wouldn’t target her family? She even hints at this to Sun, saying “This is why I left them all behind” after Sun was hurt. So, why return to her family? HOWEVER, she also told Sun on Chapter 8; “I told you, I'm not here to fight the White Fang, I'm not here to fight anyone. I'm here to rest, to figure things out, and to see my family.”

So, which is it? A character’s reasons for running need to be clear and easily understood, instead of contradictory and confusing.

Another issue everyone seems to have with Blake is her family; namely that her father was the founder and head of the White Fang. While I don’t mind it, and it even clears up just why Blake feels like it’s HER responsibility to stop the White Fang, as well as I just hate the old “Blake’s an orphan” theory, another issue with her family is Ghira himself. So why did NOBODY, not even Ozpin, make mention of Ghira? She shares the same last name as the founder of the White Fang, Belladonna, so why did nobody comment on it? It’s not like the White Fang were created in secret either, Blake herself outright tells us that the organization was formed to bring peace between the two races. You can’t do that in secret, and if Ghira DID hide in the shadows, then that should have been made clear LONG ago!

With Ruby, the problem lies in how little character development she’s gotten. Yes, we’ve seen her change from a shy girl who didn’t want to make friends to someone who DOES, but that’s about it. Outside of crying for Penny, and going Mary Sue on Cinder after Pyrrha died, Ruby hasn’t shown much of a reaction to their deaths. She’s pretty much the same character, albeit with a little less energy and love of weapons as she used to be. She’s the main character, the show’s pronounced after her name, show us how she’s coping. No long letters that honestly aren’t that good (Sorry, but that letter was pretty bad) and no telling us about it. Show us how the death of two friends has affected a 15-16 year old little girl.

With Jaune, it’s how MUCH development he’s getting. Yes, I get it, he’s the Deuteragonist, the second protagonist, the Hero to Ruby’s Heroine. However, at this point he’s becoming more like the traditional main character than Ruby herself is. He’s had the Love Interest (even if he never knew it) who died, he’s the audience surrogate, he was made leader of his own team, we learned that he cheated his way in, etc. etc. Now, I’m not saying that what he’s been through is BAD, but the issue here ties in with Ruby, namely that she hasn’t gotten as much attention or development as Jaune has. I like Jaune. In another story, he WOULD be the Hero. But the show is called RWBY because it revolves around Team RWBY. It’s time they took the spotlight back.

Another issue that the show has is its sense of time. Before it was retconned, Miles and Kerry said early on that Volume 4 took place 6-8 months after Volume 3. They then decided to change it to avoid plotholes. Unfortunately, this just created more plotholes. How long were Blake and Sun on a boat? How long was Weiss cooped up in her room? Yang said she and Taiyang were training for weeks. The only thing that makes sense is RNJR’s journey on foot, as it WOULD take quite a long time to go from one country to another like that. (A minor plothole with THAT is why didn’t they get transportation there, when Oscar did? If the answer is no money, where did they get the extra ammo at the end of Chapter 1 of V4?)

Something I personally have a problem with within the show, though some would argue against it, is the Grimm. We’ve been shown Grimm that wiped out whole villages, Grimm that rule the seas and are huge, and yet students who haven’t even finished their first year were able to kill. The Grimm as a whole are also disappointing. We’ve been told that they wiped out all life on Remnant except for four Kingdoms where life exists, but we’re always seeing them mowed down so easily and quickly that it’s kind of pathetic. The Nuckleavee Grimm, in particular, showcases this problem. This is something that wiped out three villages and could not be defeated, yet RNJR took it out no problem. A better way to resolve it would have been if they had managed to fend it off long enough for the airships to arrive. The Grimm have been getting the Worf Effect pretty badly, and they’re not the scary monsters that we’re told they are. I, at least, want to see more creepy looking Grimm that aren’t defeated on the first encounter with our heroes. Grimm are supposed to be unnatural monsters of darkness, not cannon fodder.

The lack of foreshadowing is also a problem here. We had only one line of dialogue about Ruby’s silver eyes, and that was it. One line, in the very first episode,and it was never touched upon again. Blake’s family was never hinted at, neither was Weiss’ little brother, Whitley. While I understand that some things are meant to be a surprise and kept secret, common things like family need to be at least mentioned. You don’t need to reveal any big secrets about them, just a mention is enough, like Winter in Volume 2. For something as big as Ruby’s silver eye power, foreshadowing is a must have, otherwise it’ll come out of nowhere and feel like a Deus ex Machina.

There are probably many other things I’ve forgotten to add in that I meant to, but I can always address those later, or edit them into this post. These are the biggest flaws though that are dragging RWBY down. I still enjoy the show, and I will keep watching it, but it could always be improved, and there are some things in it that require attention and fixing.

[ksscoutersworld]

At an inspiring #Moot2017 closing in Iceland, SG Alhendawi calls on scouts to be courageous agents of change.

At an inspiring #Moot2017 closing in Iceland, SG Alhendawi calls on scouts to be courageous agents of change.

WORLD ORGANIZATION OF THE SCOUT MOVEMENT - WOSM

·

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 2, 2017

Hello, everyone!I am here tonight to say, thank you! Thank you for making this the biggest Moot ever! There is so much energy here– positive energy to change the world. You have brought the greatest spirit to this beautiful and hospitable island!The Icelandic Boy and Girl Scout Association has brought more people to this Moot than any time in history.Your dedication to the values of the Scout Movement is so important in these very troubled times in our world.You know. Many great people over the years have spoken about the values that scouts bring.Nelson Mandela, the first leader of free South Africa, had deep admiration and high expectations for the scouts. He once said, “Scouting inspires patriotism, sound moral values, courage, character-building, self-reliance and community awareness. It motivates our young people to achieve their full potential.” Today I would like to send you home by challenging myself and you, to be more courageous. Our world needs our courage as Scouts. As you know, Nelson Mandela was unjustly imprisoned for 27 years just for standing up for what is right. He wanted to live for his ideal of equality – he was also prepared to sacrifice for it. During that time, Mandela lost his mother and his eldest son – and he was not even allowed to attend their funerals. But he never gave in or gave up. He showed true courage.And before he passed away at the age of 95, Mandela was known throughout the world as one of the greatest figures of our times. The causes that he championed still need believers. We still see racism, bigotry, ignorance and violence. These go against everything that the Scout Movement stands for.And I am proud that the Scout Movement is standing up for what is right, by enabling a generation of principled and values-driven youth to lead.In May, I was so moved and inspired when I saw the famous photo of a girl scout standing up to a Neo Nazi.Lucie Myslíková is just 16 years old. She was willing to raise her voice for what we all know is right – that all people are equal.Many thoughtful people are concerned about trends in our world today. I understand their perspective. But we cannot just worry. We have to act.  Scouting is about action.Every one of you is here because you invested your time and your heart in doing what is right for your community. You are here because you understand the true value of helping others. I sincerely appreciate your shining example of how young people can contribute to our world. At the same time, I have to ask all of us to be even more courageous.

Each of us has our own circle where you can make a difference. All it takes is courage.

Courage does not mean taking unnecessary risks or showing off some reckless stunt. Courage means doing what your heart tells you is right. Courage is standing up to bullies – whether they are in the schoolyard or in authority. Courage means standing with your fellow scouts and helping other people – see how great it is to live a life of service. And courage means not backing down even when you face difficulties.I just love the Moot song. Do you? We have the guidance we need in the Moot Song. We sing, “Don’t be scared.” In other words, be courageous. Just like the song says, if it is difficult to take the step, we just have to tie our laces. Give a hand to the one in need, side by side we’re able to win.

We saw this at this Moot, some of the suitcases didn’t arrive on time but you quickly started sharing clothes with others who needed them.We saw this with the group that experienced strong winds that took down a number of tents leading, they spent their final night on expedition in a school.There are definitely storms ahead in our world – but more importantly, there are powerful winds of change.All of you are making a profound difference. Keep this spirit going. Remember the solidarity we learned here – and bring it back home. Stay close to your fellow Scouts – even if they live far. Look around at the wonderful variety of people here – and help others to see that diversity is a strength.Rovering is all about serving others. As scouts you can tackle the major issues facing our world, one action at a time. I could suggest ways that you make a difference – but I am sure you have even better ideas. In our world of disasters, refugees, disease and poverty, you can bring peace, comfort, health and security to many.

Thank you for doing so much for our Movement. Thank you for giving so much to our world.

We inherit a proud heritage that has been passed down to us for generations. Let’s create an even greater legacy to the future of our world. Each one can do that by pledging today, once again, that on my honor, I will do my best to create better world. Let’s go out and create the world we want. Thank you.

[we-hear-her]

Introducing ME

As I am working on the stories of other girls, I wanted to share with you my story and how I decided to start this project.

Here is me at 21 (left) and me now at 30 (right):

It all started for me about 9 years ago when I was 21. It was the age of Tumblr, Formspring, Instagram (like the legit start of Instagram), Twitter and Facebook. Maybe the social media craze started earlier than that but for me it felt like it blew up when I turned 21. We had so many ways of communicating, judging, commenting, sharing, etc. It was kind of overwhelming but 21 yr old me loved having something to occupy my anxiety ridden mind with. 

I was still in school at the local community college for either education or psychology. I couldn’t tell you for sure because honestly, I changed my major so many times back then. I was in college because my mom wanted me to finish any kind of a degree. She just wanted for me what she didn’t have. While I was finishing up a liberal arts associates degree, I had friends who starting touring with their bands. I decided I would be a tour manager. I remember the next year in what seems like a blur. I was always at shows, helping out or hanging out with friends who would stop by in the tri-state area. Then I met this guy who was in a band, I won’t bore you with the details of this failed relationship but lets just say I fell in love and it ended badly. While we were dating though, something both upsetting and amazing happened, I started getting messages from girls on the internet calling me names and sharing mean things about me on different social media sites. At first I was hurt but honestly I’m a relatively introspective person so I just assumed they were upset because they were mad I was dating a musician they liked. I thought it’s so easy to dislike someone you don’t really know and only see bits and pieces of on the internet. I decided to share about myself. Share stories that maybe they could relate to or at least help make them realize that I am a person with feelings just like them and when you say hurtful things, it causes damage. I called it Juste Love and for a while I had these amazing dreams for what this blog would become. Girls would message me that they loved my project and they wanted to be a part of it too. It was such a great surge of positive energy and so many of the girls that made nasty comments actually came forward and apologized. I loved being able to be a part of something that could potentially do so much good. 

But then my relationship ended, my tour ended (I only ended up doing like one full tour..turns out tour life was DEFINITELY not for me), and I went back to college to get my bachelor’s in psychology. I figured with a degree I could put so much more into my project. Unfortunately, I lost steam, I was working over 40 hours a week and in school full time and eventually I called it quits. 

Recently, I started taking notice of all of the self care and mental health awareness being shared so openly and it started to give me the fuel to share again. I have had generalized anxiety disorder for what feels like my whole life. I literally can remember being 6/7 years old, shaking in my bed late at night, having an anxiety attack. So fast-forward to what made me want to restart this. I was talking to my dad one day and he told me that he was so impressed at what I had accomplished at my job as a UX Researcher in a major media company, in such a short period of time and with anxiety disorder. I honestly hadn’t stopped to think about it because I honestly don’t think constantly “I have anxiety disorder so it’s harder for me to do things that average people do every day”. But it’s true. Just having basic social interactions with others can sometimes ware me down. Having anxiety is like adding another layer onto my day. One more thing I have to get through to get to the finish line that is 5pm. I remember sharing this to a friend I worked with and she looked at me in disbelief and said something I wasn’t expected, “But you seem to normal, I had no idea you were anxious! I couldn’t even tell!”. She meant well, what she meant is that I hide my disorder well. I was reminded that not only on social media, but in real life, most people don’t have the faintest clue what anxiety disorder looks or feels like. Every human being has had some form of anxiety in their life but anxiety disorder is NOT that. I believe that is what makes it so hard for others to understand. Anxiety is NOT Anxiety Disorder. Thus, I felt I should share again. But not just my story, I wanted to share the stories of others girls, some like and some unlike me. We are all perceived differently to others and it’s easy to judge without knowing the whole story. If we share, we can become a community and we don’t have to feel like we are so alone. And it’s just a bonus if that person who shares has gone through something we’ve been through at some point in our lives and got through to the other side. I wanted to share the change that happens from being a teenager in high school to becoming an adult in the “real-world”. I wanted to stress that we’ve all been in someone else’s shoes before and we can get through it. Sometimes we won’t have all the answers but we will have continued to fight to work on ourselves. And with this idea in mind, I started “We Hear Her” because we hear you, we hear your struggle, your triumphs, your fears, your hopes and you are NOT alone. 

If you’ve hung around this long, here is my story.

So a summary of who I am, I’ve had anxiety disorder for basically my whole life. When I was younger I think I felt my parents had everything under control and thus I only really ever had issues with anxiety when I started something new or had to perform in front of others. Pretty normal kid stuff. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 16, after a friend committed suicide and sent me into a pretty dark place. I remember every day I would dread going into school. It would be overwhelmingly emotional, some days I would just curl up into a ball on the floor in my house. I would tell my mom I didn’t want to go to school most days. Almost every morning when I finally got forced into school (Thank you Mom, otherwise I would have no degree now) and I would have to text her if I was okay. It would be this sickening feeling. I would get nauseated, shake, and feel like I needed to cry. Some days I would have the nurse call my mom to pick me up. I told my mom I needed a therapist and possibly medication. As I started seeing a therapist, I started to realize that I needed to feel like I had more control over my life. My bedroom became my sanctuary. I felt like I had total control there. Eventually, I found that hot baths soothed me when I got anxious as did relaxing spa music. And when I finally got my driver’s license, I felt like I could breathe again. I realized that so much of my anxiety occurred when I felt “stuck”. So I got through high school and again, almost no one had any idea I was suffering, unless I told them. 

As I got older, my anxiety continued to change. I started to understand the symptoms and the triggers but I also got new triggers and sometimes knowing I had so much control over things ended up causing more anxiety. And of course, life changes happened. I moved out of my house into an apartment, I got new jobs, I would start new semesters, etc. The biggest change happened about a year ago, I went from working solely with children for over 8 years in the town next to mine to working in the corporate world as a researcher at a top media company in the city. It was like overnight so many things changed. So much of what changed was good but honestly my anxiety was in full swing. I was working with adults now, doing a job I had never done in true practice, learning constantly every day, learning how to create my position in this new role, and commuting every day 4 hours in total. It was so much to take in and then I started suffering from chronic pain issues, which frankly are still being a mystery between possible Lyme’s or a mystery auto-immune condition which are made worse with anxiety, ha. 

So, what do I do now? How do I handle having a high-pressure career in an overwhelming environment with sometimes little control over my environment while trying to manage aches and pains? 

I create space for myself that feels like my safe spaces. I use essential oils, acupuncture, acupressure mats, diet changes, exercise, meditation and of course my favorite hot baths with lavender. I give myself ways that I feel I can get “un-stuck”, I talk to my therapist, I talk to my family and sometimes friends, I focus on the good this blog can do for girls like me. I wake up every morning and push myself because I know the life that I want. Does that mean it just goes away and it’s easy? No, not at all. It is so hard some days to force myself to do what I have to. Chronic pain and fatigue combined with anxiety disorder make things rough but I know I want to try. When I fall short of my goals, which are sometimes very small: i.e. having a tough conversation with a superior, I remind myself that I work hard every day and that I will get there some day. 

Ultimately, there is no one cure and sometimes I am better than others times. I write this to say that I do not have all the answers but I have a lot of ways I try every day and maybe something I’ve tried can help you. Even if the only way I help is by sharing this story, I feel I have done something positive. All people are different, all anxiety can present and be felt differently, all experiences are felt differently by different people. I want you to know that I know it’s hard but you can get through it. Sometimes it takes a long time, a lot of effort and a lot of stress to get there but you can get there. And if you fall short, that’s OK. You can have good and bad days. You will get there when the time is right for you. In the meantime, you are NOT alone. 

Please reach out if you want to share your story, need to talk or have any comments about my story! I love hearing from others and can’t wait to share my next girl! 

Until next time XO,

Vicky

[thewebofslime]

Joao Teixeira de Faria – known as John of God – achieved international fame after being interviewed by Oprah Winfrey and having a list of famous clients, including Bill Clinton. Two months ago, his world crumbled after police discovered evidence that he was a mass murderer, baby trafficker, and sex slave ringleader. Mirror.co.uk reports: The 77-year-old was arrested a week later in what prosecutors say could be the worst serial crimes case in the country’s history. Faria’s own daughter, Dalva Teixeira, has also spoken out, called him a “monster” and claiming he molested her as a child. The case has shocked Brazilians, many of whom regarded the so-called ‘psychic surgeon’ – famous for performing procedures such as removing tumours or cataracts with his hands and without anaesthesia – as a modern-day miracle worker. And last week even more explosive acccusations have been thrown at John of God. Brazilian activist Sabrina Bittencourt, whose investigations led to Teixeira’s arrest in December, now claims the celebrity medium ran a baby trafficking operation where children were “farmed” in Brazil before being sold to childless couples around the world. Shockingly, she claims young girls were held captive in remote farms where they were forced to produce babies – before being murdered after 10 years of giving birth. In a video, Bittencourt, whose organisation, Coame, helps women report sexual assault by religious leaders, said she has spoken to women from at least three continents, including Europe, who claimed they bought Brazilian babies from John of God for as much as £40,000. And she claimed she has collected testimony from former members of Teixeira’s gang, which described how the scheme worked after they became “tired of being complicit” in his crimes. Bittencourt, who now lives outside Brazil under the protection of international organisations after receiving death threats for her work, claimed Teixeira would offer money to poor girls aged 14 to 18 to go and live in mineral mines or farms he owns in the Brazilian states of Goias and Minas Gerais. There they would become sex slaves at and be forced to get pregnant and give birth to their babies. She claims: “In exchange for food, they were impregnated and their babies sold on the black market. “Hundreds of girls were enslaved over years, lived on farms in Goias, served as wombs to get pregnant, for their babies to be sold. “These girls were murdered after 10 years of giving birth. We have got a number of testimonies.” She added: “We have received reports from the adoptive mothers of their children that we sold for between £15,000 and £40,000 in Europe, USA and Australia, as well as testimony from ex-workers and local people who are tired of being complicit with John of God’s gang.” Appealing for others with knowledge of Teixeira’s crimes to come forward, she said: “I ask that the embassies of Holland, USA and Australia demand an impeccable conduct from the Brazilian authorities.” The revelations will ignite even further anger in Brazil about the man who was once the country’s most celebrated faith healer and renowned around the world. For nearly 20 years, John of God’s followers have flocked to the town of Abadiania, where his Casa de Dom Inacio centre is located, to be cured, blessed or enlightened by him. The self-styled spiritual healer claims the spirits of more than 30 doctors and other entities can enter his body and that they perform the healings. Oprah Winfrey vouched for João’s spiritual healing powers after visiting him in 2010 where she nearly fainted during the “blissful” encounter. The TV host featured her healing experience in a since-deleted episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show titled ‘Leap of Faith: Meet John of God’, in which she described seeing him cut into the breast of a woman without anaesthesia and left feeling “an overwhelming sense of peace”. Here’s a video of Ophra”s interview of John: After his arrest Winfrey said in a statement: “I empathise with the women now coming forward and I hope justice is served.” Australian reporter Michael Usher recounted a different experience when he visited Faria’s compound for the 60 Minutes programme in 2014. He claims he saw the medium use scalpels to slice open people’s flesh or scrape away at their eyeballs. He added: “John of God is not a surgeon, he is not a trained doctor. “Yet he is presented with a tray of medical instruments, scalpels and all sorts of scissors. “He takes a scalpel and scrapes eyes. He sticks knives and scalpels of some sort down the back of people’s throats, and he claims he is getting to tumours. “He claims he is getting to the root of people’s illness. He claims he is getting to what is making people ill or sick. ” None of it is done with an anaesthetic and you don’t even know if what he is using is sterile.” The Australian programme also reported how Faria’s own pharmacy sold ‘blessed’ water and ‘blessed’ herbal pills. A doctor who tested the pills, which generated more than £10million a year for John of God, found they were simple passionflower herbal supplements. But claims he was a charlatan who was making millions from the sick and terminally ill did nothing to dent John of God’s popularity. In December last year a Dutch photographer, Zahira Leeneke Maus, told a Brazilian TV channel that during a private session in his clinic Teixeira had manipulated her into performing sex acts and then raped her. Nine other Brazilian women, who remained anonymous, also told the channel that he had abused them on the premise of transferring his “cleansing” energy. The interview let to a cascade of allegations from women all around the world. Their ages at the time of the alleged assaults, which took place from the 1980s through to October 2018, range from nine to 67, according to investigators. All claim the medium invited them for private consultations, where he turned them to face away from him then performed sexual acts as part of their “cure”. Finally, Faria’s own daughter, Dalva Teixeira, came forward with shocking revelations that she, too, had been a victim. In an explosive interview with Brazilian magazine Veja, she said that under the pretence of mystical treatments he abused and raped her between the ages of ten and 14. She claimed he stopped after she became pregnant by one of his employees, after which her father beat her so severely that she suffered a miscarriage. “My father is a monster,” she said. After an arrest warrant was issued for him, Teixeira was on the run for a week, during which time he withdrew £7million from several bank accounts, convincing police he could be planning to flee Brazil, or hide the money in case of compensation claims. Investigators also found firearms and large quantities of cash in a house used by Teixeira as a spiritual retreat. He eventually handed himself in on December 16, telling officers: “I surrendered to divine justice – and, as promised, I now place myself in the hands of earthly justice”. Police who grilled him reported “bizarre” incidents during the interview, such as the computer typing the letters ‘OOOOOO’ repeatedly, the printer starting to print without receiving a command, and the mini-fridge in the room exploding, according to reports. Meanwhile, a police clerk, who was meant to transcribe the faith healer’s testimony at the police station in the rural town of Annapolis, was run over in a car accident and broke his arm. Teixeira has been charged with two counts of rape and two counts of statutory rape, as detectives continue to look into the abuse claims. Last week prosecutors brought new charges against him, including that he and his son Sandro Teixeira de Oliveira threatened a victim with a gun, then offered her money, to withdraw a complaint of sexual abuse again the medium back in 2016. I invite you to take a look at the video bellow from STGreport about “John of god” arrest:

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 6th January 2019

The twelve pop songs that weren’t Christmas are all in the top 13 along with a new arrival, so, yeah, essentially this week is the same as last week without a holiday. Everything that was below the top 40 just came back in spades, hence...

Returning Entries

There’s a ton. Let’s get all of the returning entries and drop-outs in our first, very busy week of 2019, done first. Let’s go, starting from what’s at the top to what’s at the bottom. “Hold My Girl” by George Ezra is back at #14, “Baby” by Clean Bandit, Marina and Luis Fonsi is back at #15, “This is Me” by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble is back at #16, “A Million Dreams” by P!nk is back at #17, “Woman Like Me” by Little Mix featuring Nicki Minaj is back at #18, “imagine” by Ariana Grande is back at #20, “Promises” by Calvin Harris and Sam Smith is back at #21, “Going Bad” by Meek Mill and Drake is back at #22, “Let You Love Me” by Rita Ora is back at #23, “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper is at #24, “The Greatest Show” by Hugh Jackman, Keala Settle, Zac Efron, Zendaya and the Greatest Showman Ensemble returns to #25 (this was the first song I ever reviewed on this series so it’s crazy to see it back pretty much exactly a year later), “Happier” by Marshmello and Bastille is back to #26, “Advice” by Cadet and Deno Driz is at #27, “Mo Bamba” by Sheck Wes is at #28 (and while I’m at it, “SICKO MODE” by Travis Scott featuring Drake, Swae Lee and Big Hawk is back at #33), “Eastside” by benny blanco, Halsey and Khalid is at #29, “A Million Dreams” by Ziv Zaifman, Hugh Jackman and Michelle Williams comes back to #30, “Leave a Light On” by Tom Walker lights up at #31, “KIKA” by 6ix9ine featuring Tory Lanez jumps back to #32, “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B rears its ugly head at #34, “One Kiss” by Calvin Harris and Dua Lipa, the biggest song of the year in the UK (yes, the year-end has been released, and I’ll rank it on my Twitter), “Funky Friday” by Dave and Fredo is at #38 (that one’s growing on me too...), “Body” by Loud Luxury and brando is at #39, and “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran rounds off the Top 40. Well, since all of these have had their own reviews on this series before, I might leave links on each song to where they’ve been reviewed or something, although my opinions have already changed. Oh, “Perfect” and “Mo Bamba” don’t have proper reviews yet but it’ll be redundant doing it now because I’ll just be covering them more in-depth on my best list anyway (sorry, spoilers). Now...

Dropouts

Oh, my goodness. Okay, so, every single Christmas song is out. “All I Want for Christmas for You” by Mariah Carey from #2, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! from #3, “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl from #4, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid from #6, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas” by Michael Bublé from #7, “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis from #8, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens from #9, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John from #10, and the episode’s already half of a 1,000 words. Listen, sorry about all the changes in structure with the series, especially in this episode, but I asked on Twitter if you would rather have me review more songs and not bother with anything else, and no, it was decided by 80% to continue with the standard format in the poll, so, yeah, I guess I’ll have to do it like this for another year. Anyways, back to this nonsense. “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea is out from #11, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by Wizzard from #12, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande from #13, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee from #16, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade from #17, “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” by John Lennon, Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono Band featuring the Harlem Community Choir from #18 (God, that is a chore to type every week), “Wonderful Christmastime” by Paul McCartney from #20 – may you rest in peace, you gorgeous novelty – “We Built this City on Sausage Rolls” by LadBaby from #21, “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” by Darlene Love from #22, “Cozy Little Christmas” by Katy Perry from #23, “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia from #24, “Mary’s Boy Child / Oh My Lord” by Boney M. from #26, “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber from #28, “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams from #29, “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by Jackson 5 from #30, “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby from #31, “Stay Another Day” by East 17 from #36 – still not a Christmas song – “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson from #37, “Lonely this Christmas” by Mud from #38, and finally, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Idina Menzel and Michael Bublé is out from #39. That felt oddly therapeutic.

Now, there’s not a single song that fell this week, obviously, but there are a few that climbed outside of the Top 10, and they’re all rebounds from the avalanche.

Climbers

“Without Me” by Halsey is up three spots to #11, “Lost Without You” by Freya Ridings is up 20 spaces to #12, and finally, “Thursday” by Jess Glynne is up a whopping 27 positions to #13. Now, with the chart finally rid of those pesky Christmas songs, welcome to 2019, everyone, and this is the state of British pop as the year turns around.

Top 10

“Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max is spending its second week at #1 today, which is cool, I guess, but i don’t imagine it holding on for that long.

Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” is up three spaces from last week to number-two, but now we’ve got some massive jumps from scattered within the top 40 straight to the top 10.

“Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee from Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse is up 16 positions to number-three.

At number-four, we have an 11-space increase for Mark Ronson and Miley Cyrus’ “Nothing Breaks Like a Heart”.

Finally, in what feels like ages, we have a top 5 debut, with Post Malone having his ninth top 40 hit and sixth top 10 hit this week, as his new song “Wow.” enters at #5. We’ll talk about it at length later on.

At number-six, Lord help us, we have “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong up 21 spaces from last week. This is the best proof we’ve had since Mr. Blobby that the charts are ran by children.

“Shotgun” by George Ezra rebounds by 26 spots to number-seven for no good reason. Go away, please, for my own sanity.

Oh, joy, James Arthur too, with Anne-Marie for “Rewrite the Stars” up 17 spaces to number-eight.

Zara Larsson creeps her head into the top 10 as well after a 26-spot boost up to number-nine, making “Ruin My Life” her sixth top 10 hit in the UK.

Finally, Kodak Black’s “ZEZE” featuring Travis Scott and Offset is up an undeservedly high 24 places up to #10, rounding off our top 10 at way too many words for an episode that has yet to have any song reviews. I’ll try to keep them brief.

NEW ARRIVALS

#36 – “Gun Lean” – Russ

R-R-Russ? Huh... Never expected that name to ever pop up on here, to be honest. Russ seems to only be kind of big in the US but he’s never hit the top 40, and he’s pretty much just a running joke or meme in the hip hop community so I honestly never expected any Brits to take him seriously either but this is his new single, I guess, and it’s not great. It starts with a menacing piano line that could be kind of interesting but then Russ comes in with a British accent and—oh.

#36 – “Gun Lean” – Russ splash

BBC has called new UK rapper Russ splash “Russ” instead, but who really cares? He might as well be Russ because he doesn’t say anything of substance either, with a painfully simplistic hook and chorus that doesn’t really help his lyrical ability shine (if it exists). The heavy bass is obviously trying to be have that energetic old Lil Pump energy, but it doesn’t work when your song is three and a half minutes because this song is tiring as all hell. This is generic British rap that follows the formula to a T, and I hope it doesn’t rise. Speaking of following a formula...

#35 – “Money” – Cardi B

Sigh, I do like Cardi B, but she seems to have stopped bothering and that’s a big issue because that’s the main reason anyone liked her. It’s definitely not the lyrics and while it may be the beat, she always rides it with that loud, straightforward and powerful delivery she is known for, and when you stop trying in the booth, I feel like that appeal is going to squander, and this is her ninth top 40 hit in less than two years, so the fact that it’s going quick is an issue. Anyways, this is absolute garbage. The beats is literally like two piano notes just being violently played under trap percussion and bass, with a recurring high-pitched “Money” ad-lib that is trying to break up the monotony but, no, it’s just annoying. Cardi B sounds more ruthless on the verses, which may actually be kind of unfitting, but it works, although then she gets bored on the chorus. In fact, the transition is actually pretty abrupt and forced here. At least it’s shorter and has a few good flow switches, so it’s definitely better than “Gun Lean” in that respect, but that doesn’t mean it’s good.

#19 – “Play” – Jax Jones featuring Years & Years

This is listed as a returning entry on BBC’s UK Top 40 page but this came out last year and I never reviewed so it’s safe to assume it’s new; I apologise if it isn’t, but I mean, would you care? The lead singer from Years & Years keeps up with a tiring atmospheric house beat, with meaningless lyrics and weak, radio-friendly drops that kind of take away its EDM properties immediately, I mean, the hook here isn’t that crazy of a vocal manipulation either like “One Kiss” or “Solo”, it’s just a pretty comprehensible phrase repeated and edited to sound a tad more distant. It’s so weak and pathetic, although the dude from Years & Years is trying so hard to fit on this beat, it’s kind of funny in that regard. Otherwise, yeah, who cares?

#5 – “Wow.” – Post Malone

Let me put it this way: my sister loves Post Malone for many reasons, one of which being his music, and she’s consistently loved a lot of what I’ve hated from Post like “I Fall Apart” (which is still a gruelling and confusing song to this day, read my worst list if you want to see me go into depth), but not even she could dig this, but I think I know why – she took it seriously. The tuneless keys is the only real build-up we get until Post comes in and there’s a cool noisy melody that ends with a high-pitched screech, and yeah, it’s a pretty awesomely minimal and menacing beat, so surely Post should add a lot to this... well, he literally has a whole line that is just “G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon, G-Wagon”, but otherwise his delivery is on-point (I love his voice right at the end at the second verse), his flows are catchy, his lyrics are serviceable and sometimes pretty funny, and every single beat drop here is beautiful, seriously, that’s some perfect production from Frank Dukes and Louis Bell. After Post stops rapping, there’s a period of time where it’s just the distorted melody over some reverb-drowned drums with a chipmunk vocal coming in and him just ad-libbing “wow”, and it’s stunning. It’s not going to replace Beck’s song of the same title and in the same vein (seriously, it’s a trap-rap song too), but this is cool.

Conclusion

This week was mostly trap, huh? Well, Post Malone gets Best of the Week for “Wow.” but Russ splash is definitely bagging Worst of the Week for the dreadful “Gun Lean”. Dishonourable Mention is tied, and goes to Jax Jones, Years & Years and Cardi B for “Play” and “Money”, respectively. Not  a great start, guys. See you next week!

n

[melonoverlord]

Turt’s ask meme for venus (aka my fav snake non children)

1. What would be their favorite Disney (or other animated) movie?

As a snerson (snake person), she has to give it up for other cold blooded peeps, plus the 20s are always a good time aesthetically, so she and her siblings really like Princess and the Frog.

2. What do they usually like for breakfast?

Poached eggs. Snakes like their eggs.

3. What sort of cuddler are they?

She used to cuddle a lot with her siblings, especially since when her parents were busy, she had to play the mother figure along with her brother Pluto. The kids who needed the most cuddling were the youngest three, and she likes having her baby sibs on her laps while she reads to them. She does the same thing with Atalanta.

4. How do they say “I love you”?

Venus is one of those people where it’s really hard to tell if she likes you or not because she always has an air that she’s better than you, so she shows her love when she’s softer, like when she talks to Icio.

5. What kind of shoes do they wear?

Black or Brown 1940s Oxford heels or pumps. She dresses for her planet’s fashion and it is 100% gorgeous each and every time.

6. What is their favorite accessory?

A teardrop necklace made out of red crystal that Cosmos gave to Venus when he proposed to her.

7. Are they more inclined towards fashion or comfort?

Everyone agrees that Venus is the most fashion forward on the ship. She could wear anything and make it couture.

8. What makes them laugh?

Watching her siblings be mischievous little shits, Icio’s whines about different people on the ship, and subtle shades.

9. Do they have a favorite flower?

Purple carnations

10. Would they be the one to propose to their significant other?

In any other scenario absolutely because Venus has the biggest big dick energy, but Cosmos has silent big dick energy and proposed at one of the mayoral parties that he holds for Scylla.

11. What bad habits do they have?

Not really letting anyone in besides her family, buying too much clothes on Spamazon, and being a little too cold and distant to people she doesn’t know that well.

12. What are their biggest insecurities?

Venus is one of the rare people on the Freedom Vessel that doesn’t have any insecurity issues. She has things she regrets, such as not being there when her parents passed away, but other than that, Venus has great self esteem.

13. How do they wear their hair?

She doesn’t like to have her hair up very often, but she is a fan of the victory curls and very curly, bouncy hair. Venus has the most healthy dark green hair ever.

14. Are they an impulse shopper? If so, what would they buy?

That is actually one bad habit she has. Venus is a fashion ho and has a new outfit for each day of the month that she recycles each month. 

15. When do they usually sleep?

9pm on a good day and 2am on a bad day.

16.What makes them worry?

She mostly worries about if her siblings and daughter are okay while she’s away from Scylla and if her being in the Freedom Vessel is going to end up being used against her when it comes to family.

17. Do they have any creative outlets?

She used to make all her siblings’ clothes when she lived on Scylla, so she still loves fashion design but she also likes swing dancing.

18. How do they comfort an upset loved one?

Do not ask Venus to comfort you. She is possibly the worst one, because she gives advice in a very tough love type of way and if you’re upset and in the wrong, most likely she will say “wow, you’re a dumbass. that sucks” and walk away.

19. What are they like when they’re sick?

Venus will go ghost for days because she is deathly (haha) afraid of getting sick. She will make everyone leave her room, 

20. Do they say what they’re thinking, or keep their thoughts to themselves?

She tends to be very outspoken with her thoughts because Venus usually has nothing to hide.

21. What is the best gift they’ve ever received?

An engagement ring from Cosmos.

22. Are they good at keeping track of time?

She’s good at keeping track of time, but she’s rather impatient so she’s the type of person to check the clock every ten minutes.

23. What is their favorite ice cream flavor?

Caramel

24. What would they order from a fast food/take-out place?

Venus loves any type of noodles and anything remotely spicy, so the redder the food is, the happier she is.

25. What is their favorite pizza topping(s)?

Cheese and pepperoni like a classy babe.

26. What is their favorite type of cookie?

She’s generally more a fan of brownies, but she like molasses cookies. Or conchas.

27. Do they paint their nails?

Oh of course. It’s her favorite pastime.

28. What is their favorite board game?

It’s a tie between Candy Land and Cluedo. Both are extremely popular in Scylla so she tends to play Candy Land with the younger kids and Cluedo with the older kids.

29. Are they more of a pants or skirts kind of person?

Skirts, though she looks fabulous in both. But she is a 40s girl at heart and rocks a long skirt or dress.

30. Do they dream often? What about?

She often dreams about Scylla and being with her family. Sometimes she dreams about Orion getting into trouble (as he is known to do), but her dreams are generally less traumatic than the other people on the ship.

31. Do they have any phobias?

Venus doesn’t make any of her fears known because she has a reputation to uphold, but she actually has somewhat of a fear of illness because of the Mambian Panic. Whenever someone is sick on the ship, she will make sure to stay far away from them so she doesn’t catch anything.

32. If they were a pokemon, which would they be?

Gardevoir. Green, delicate, proper, and an absolute badass bitch in a classy dress.

33. How well do they handle sea travel? Air travel?

She’s not the biggest fan of sea travel, she loves flying and it’s what she’s best at (among many other things she’s good at). She truly is the snake on a plane.

34. Which Disney character are they most like?

Jane Porter. Intelligent and sophisticated and a bit uptight, but is here for an adventure flying through the jungle and saving her found family.

35. What sort of parent would they be?

Venus is currently the mother of a very eager seven year old who loves exploring and stabbing things with knives. She is a very patient mother who wants her kids to have the best self esteem while staying out of a war. She teaches her daughter to make decisions for herself and together she and Cosmos teach her both how to be a good person in a cold hearted (and cold blooded cuz they’re snakes) world.