#I already know wth is wrong with me I ask myself that too

[yourlocalgrass]

So, I remembered when in a Devilgram Luicfer in a way compared MC to cherry blossoms

Btw image order is wrong they go the other way around but I put it in that order so it makes things easier, anyways:

Right you see the highlighted one right? ‘Fleeting’ He just fully outright said that cherry blossoms die fast. And then compared them to MC. (Also yes cherry blossoms have a very short life and it symbolises that time is fleeting- one of the things it symbolises at least)

I just felt like… wow. That actually hurts if you think about it. He really said he knows and admits out loud MC is going to die one day and fast. I mean, that’s basically what he said right? Personally I would have picked up on the word ‘fleeting’ because I’d then start to feel bad.

I’m not sure if I’m wrong but I don’t think we’ve seen the brothers talk about MC’s short life that much (in a depressing way). I remember Mammon mentioning it probably somewhere? And I remember the brothers talking about human lifespan in general once in Nightbringer but… not much other than that.

But from this I’m guessing that Lucifer has probably come to terms with it and now all he wants is to enjoy his time with MC while they are alive, but I also feel that he only believes he thinks it this way. But when MC really does die he won’t be able to accept it. Honestly can’t imagine any of the brothers would especially at the start.

If anyone has any lessons or anywhere of anyone talking about mc’s short lifespan I’d love to see it please! Like I want to know how much potential angst they’ve really put out there.

[wolfiesmoon]

I can't sleep

Ran x good girl!reader

Do i want a bad boy (literal criminal) bf? Yea but i would probably cry if he insulted me or got into trouble in any capacity at all

(i am totally not unironically vibing to pretty little psycho while writing this)

edit: i made a part 2!!

"I dare you to kiss Haitani Ran." Your friend nudged you.

You knew you shouldn't have agreed to this stupid game of truth or dare. You knew your friend was going to make you do stupid stuff like this.

"Like... the big scary delinquent guy?" You asked, hoping you heard her wrong.

"Yeah, that Haitani Ran." Your friend smirked mischeviously.

"How about I don't do that?" The last thing you'd want to do is get involved wth any delinquents or gangs. You have no idea how dangerous Ran could be and even if he wasn't you'd still refuse to kiss a good for nothing delinquent.

"Are you trying to get me killed?" you followed up, realising just how bad this dare could end up.

"You do know that refusing this dare means that you have to do anything I say for a week, right?" Your friend had a horribly evil look on her face. You don't even want to know the things she would make you do if you refused this stupid dare.

But is kissing Ran any better? Pick your poison, you suppose.

"Fine, I'll do it." You said behind clenched teeth, not at all happy about this outcome. You've never even kissed before, and now you have to kiss freaking Ran Haitani. You might actually die.

Why did you agree? What is wrong with you?

This might just be the worst day of your life.

You ended up being a little unfocused in class, making your teacher worry.

.

"Haitani-san." you call out to him, your voice dying off slightly at the end due to nerves. You're the only ones left in the classroom, with your friend watching from behind the door to make sure you actually do it. He looks back at you and you feel a shiver run through you.

Oh my god, you're actually doing this.

He stops, waiting to see what you want with him. You move closer to him, and his eyes narrow slightly, as if he's getting a good look at you.

"Now, what could the class president herself possibly want with me?" his tone was slightly mocking and you would have showed him you're not to be messed with but honestly you'd probably be the one losing in that scenario.

You inhaled sharply, pulling him down by his braids and planting a kiss straight onto his lips. This feels like a bad shojo plot, the "good girl" falls in love with the "bad boy" and kisses him all of a sudden. Except there's no romance involved here. Just a dare.

Is this how you kiss? Why does it feel so strange? That should be enough, right? You can feel your parents shaking their heads dissaprovingly already.

Ok, now you're just kissing him for way too long. It's time to let go. And you try to, you really do. Since when were his arms wrapped around your waist, anyways? And why isn't he letting you go?!

You can feel your friend's evil stare burning into your back. This is not amusing!

He laughed a little into the kiss, pulling you impossibly closer. Oh, so they're both going to enjoy your suffering now, you see how it is.

Still, kissing him isn't half ba-

Ok, you're actually losing it. You need out and fast.

You wriggled out of his grasp, running away as fast as your legs could take you. You heard both Ran and your friend yell something behind you but you honestly don't care.

Why did you ever agree to do this?!

.

That same thought persisted even as you tossed and turned in bed that night.

"Oh god, he's going to send his goons after me and I'm gonna die... And then I won't ever get to become successful..." you muttered to yourself.

"Or maybe he's gonna come and kill me myself after school tommorow... Ugh..." you can't come to school tired, you won't be able to pay attention in class that way. You can't ruin your perfect record by falling asleep in class.

Who cares about the perfect record?! You should be worried for your life!

"And what is that stupid noise, anyways?" you muttered, grumbling and getting up to inspect the source. Another stone hits the window, making you jump slightly. You walk to the window and open it, narrowly avoiding a stone that was thrown your way.

"Sorry!~"

Wait. You'd recognise that voice anywhere.

It's Ran.

"What are you doing here? How did you even get my adress?" you half yelled, not wanting to wake up your parents.

"You shouldn't sweat the little things. Come downstairs." he was smiling calmly, but you still couldn't tell if he was threatening you. Actually, is that his motorcycle parked next to him?

"You should probably put on a jacket too. It's real cold." he added on, and you nervously closed the window, quietly sneaking downstairs and putting on a jacket. Your pyjamas are not the most presentable, but you really don't want to test his patience right now.

You met him outside. What is he going to do to you now?

"Get on." he pointed to his bike, catching you off guard.

"Not without a helmet, riding a motorcycle without one can be really dangerous and you could lose your life." you couldn't help but bring up safety regulations. It's in your nature.

"I told you, don't sweat the details and just sit down." he completely ignored you, pushing you in the direction of the bike. You complied, sitting down on it awkwardly, not sure what to expect. He doesn't seem violent...

He sat down behind you, revving up the engine and just driving off without a care in the world.

"W-Wait!" you were shocked at the speed, grabbing onto him by instinct and missing the way his lips curved up at that.

"Where are you taking me?! I never consented to this!" you had to yell over the sound of the engine, shutting your eyes. He was right, it really is cold when you're riding on a motorcycle.

"And you know what I didn't consent to? That kiss." he replied and your face scrunched up a little, cringing at the not so distant memory. "But that's fine, because that means you're mine now."

"Huh?!" you finally opened your eyes, looking up at him. His expression was a little hard to make out since the only thing illuminating it was street lights that you were speeding past. Is he even following the speed limit?

"I value my sleep, you see. And that little stunt you pulled made me unable to fall asleep. So I figured I might as well give you a little visit." he placed a hand over you protectively, making you worry about your safety even more.

"Who would have thought the top of the class good girl would fall for me?" he looked down at you.

"I did not fall in love with you! It was a dare!" you shot back.

"Oh well, doesn't matter. You're my girl now. And that's that."

[libcaro]

The "I forgive you" analysis no one asked and probably no one needs and PROBABLY someone already did but wth

just analyze this out loud with me, correct me if I'm remembering things wrong. S1 Crowley is cursing the great big plan, Azira says something like "may god forgive you" and he replies "I'm not forgivable, that is inside a demon's job description". they fight, part ways because Crowley is scared of the end of the world and doesn't want to be there since they couldn't stop it, he gives up, and Azira debates if telling Crowley is a good idea and that he only needs to reach the right people, heaven people but as we know he fails, everyone wants the end of the world happening even head office.

Now the offer in season 1, Crowley has been discovered as the one who messed up the "changing of babies thingy", and runs to Azira to leave together before they find him. they talk again and Crowley says mean things to him, how stupid he is for believing all will be resolved by just talking to the "right people" when all of us know they don't care. he says "I forgive you" this time coming directly from him, letting him know that he is indeed forgivable and that what he said was again, offending God or something like that.

THEN! They are fighting again, because of the same thing, Crowley expressing his real feelings "I would like to spend..." We all supposed he meant "the rest of my time with you" or something of the sort. then Azira is like come to me to Heaven, I will do things right and yada yada yada and AGAIN, Crowley is like no! They put you through literal hell, let's run, yada yada, AGAIN! (XD) Crowley puts the bookshop on the table, Azira will leave that behind too, he is about to leave! Azira stops him "I need you! You don't know what I'm offering you" (Here I would like to suppose that idea some people have(me included) that he was indeed a powerful angel in his days and knows exactly what he is talking about) then Azira gives up "there is nothing else to say" Crowley pushes the issue now, "We could have been ... us" because the bloody idiot can't say "couple" yet (XD).

Then he kissed him, we all agree is because he was trying to convince him to stay and yes... we could say he was, like he tried to convince him before but not with his body 😏, with reasoning, like the whole first chapter S1 interaction between them was Crowley trying to convince him to stop the Armageddon with him. huh now I'm discovering myself here also, how Crowley is always kind of tempting Azira to do different from what it's thought as an angel🤔.

Anyway, having all of this in mind, his face after the kiss goes from shocked to... kind of angry, he might be thinking again "he is just trying to deviate me from the path of God, again". deep down the little Angel hasn't given up the idea of good and bad, he deep down believes he is the "good" one and Crowley is the "bad" one just because, I'll dare to say, superficial things, their status, clothes, way of being, ignoring how Crowley has done good and Azira has done bad things, is a matter of choice for Angels and Demons as well as humans. deep down I think Crowley thinks this way too, "it's what I'm supposed to do" he kind of established that when he said he is unforgivable. now the "I forgive you" at the end is Azira recalling himself and Crowley they are from opposite sides and his duty is in heaven. he touches his lips as if to process the whole thing, but then leaves anyway though he hesitates for a bit, he believes Crowley is deep down a good person but that dichotomy never leaves their minds. "don't bother" is like him saying, "don't waste your energies trying to spare my soul as you had before because this is a lost cause, the ineffable plan, what is meant to happen always, we are always on opposites sides" Azira still cares about the sides, even though he strives for good authentically, he hasn't disposed yet of "me an angel you a demon".

[isstyle]

My Current Interests

Long time no post. Fashion has been in a strange state, and during the pandemic I fell in and out of love with the industry almost every passing day. I thought I’d sit down and take the time to reflect on what I’m into seeing and wearing these days. 

Post-pandemic, I was poised to take a position in Los Angeles as an Associate Producer for Nordstrom.com. My lease was up, my bags were packed, and I had a landing spot in Culver City in my sights. Long story short, the world shut down, the job offer was rescinded, and I fell in love. Fast forward to present day, I have the same role but in the Seattle region, I’m married, and I’m still in and out of love with the fashion industry.

It seems like anything goes these days and I’m not mad about it. Kanye has a finger to the pulse of what is high-street daily wear. Lads are wearing skirts and dresses, on and off the red carpet, and kids are going balls to the wall remixing, editing and reconstructing identity through up-cycling and repurposing.

I’ve always dressed in “costume” as I put it. Donning (mostly what I already have) in an attempt to dip a toe in the current trend. As I (gracefully) age, I lean into comfort. Fewer are the days where I reach for something I know I won’t be able to move comfortably in. Don’t get me wrong, a tunic or a too tight jacket will still work its way into my rotations. However, on the whole, the question is will I not want to tear it off at the end of my day.

The pandemic was a fashion reset for many people, and it got us asking new, important questions. Are belts really necessary? Is a sweatsuit still a suit?

I think in this very blog I once bemoaned the casualization taking place in the states. The dress joggers and terry cloth blazers that were worming their way into business wear. I now embrace this acceptance, and the opportunity of being given a chance to stand on the edge of the line of what flies in the corporate work place. Granted, I have the good fortune of working somewhere that more often than not gives me the benefit of the doubt, wth a dress code that is summated as “use your best judgment.”

So without further ado, here are my top wardrobe rotations. Most of which I purchased second hand from one of the many resell apps/sites available today.

Sweats

Machus (pictured) and Pangaia champion my cozy-wear crusade. Owning tops and bottoms from each, I can say they are the best for both at home and out in the world use.

Pangaia pieces are sleek, eco-conscious and generally fleecy on the inside, while Machus’s selection are hardier, super solid construction and terry looped for better breathability. Both come in fantastic options of neutral and brighter colors, of which I own both. Tops work seamlessly as mid-layer or stand alone pieces, while the sweats are a solid choice from either for just chilling.

Jeans

I pride myself on how long it’s been since I last bought denim. I used to be a diehard raw denim head, constantly seeking the heaviest, deepest dyed dungarees. I’ve come to appreciate a pair with a touch of stretch, and Acne Studios takes the cake for my favorite silhouettes and washes.

I’m still pretty true to a skinny or slim fit, but am slowing loosening up to the straight cut and wider options. As it’s really a matter of taste, I leave it to you, the reader, to do your own research on what works best for you. Once you’ve identified the make and wash of a pair, take a look at Ebay or The Real Real to avoid paying full price.

Shorts

18East makes a mean short, but they’re hard to come by. The sizing is all over the place too. You have to be in to their slouchy, relaxed fit to really enjoy them yet even as a 28″ waister, I comfortably belt a size medium and enjoy the laid back look.

Shoes

I’ve stayed out of the samba v. 990 debate and instead have quietly settled into the Boston Clog and C 85 life. They’re comfortable, go with everything, and there are plenty of collabs to keep those that run the race engaged. Maybe I’m behind the times, but

I am very interested in getting a pair of high top McDowell’s (pictured) but have yet to find them in my size used. I can’t remember the last time I paid more than $150 for a pair of shoes (part of aging I guess) but they are a leather alternative so I may pony up to get a pair and at least feel like I’m doing a small part in buying less animal products.

Shirts

I’m still working the camp collar circuit, and haven’t bought into the crotchet or knitted style just yet. What I have been loving instead are the wonderfully playful polos of Good Fight. They seem to be absent from their current season collection but I encourage you to check out their shirting.

I had also been long searching for the perfect boxy, relaxed tee and Darryl Brown (pictured) knocks it out of the park. I will admit, I paid full price for one, but I loved it so much I got another and constantly wear them both. I do notice the necks of both have stretched out, but for me it adds to the look of sprezzatura.

Socks

A long standing and still favorite of mine is Anonymous ism. They come in tons of rad colors and patterns and are totally worth the higher than usual sock price. I’ve had a pair for almost two years now and they can really take a licking.

And that’s it! I’m by no means reinventing or serving something fierce in my triumphant return to the blogospher - these are just some of the mainstays that have kept me feeling and looking good as of late. 

[unpretty]

askdump with spoilers up to chapter 22! but also including some older ones because i keep forgetting

bramblepatch asked:

I LOVE the implication that the answer to Minnow's "cool, I wonder why there would be a door here?" is that Vaelon decided "cool, let's put a door here." Heroes Just Wanna See Cool Shit.

being able to set your own fast travel markers is the dream

@apparently-possessed asked:

I can't believe no one has commented on how Karzarul has the gall to call the Abysscale erotica scandalous. You made them to have sex with sailors you horny buffoon. You go off and find them in

Groups for frustrated sex.

No excuse my dude. They have always been the horny monster.

that was a PRIVATE INTERLUDE between a monster and several different ships worth of sailors and also sometimes other monsters and someone was INDISCREET which is RUDE and he would not have invited them if he'd known they would snitch

also tbh he was mostly offended by the implication that he was some kind of monster bimbo

anonymous asked:

"Monsters that are just slime orbs would have implications" yes, because the entire design and origin of Abysscales is completely without implications.

i find those implications less distressing tbh

@bramblepatch asked:

On rereading the last couple of chapters: as tragic as Vaelon's wish binding them all together is, it kind of seems like it might not be all bad for the world around them? Lynette already had her blessing at that point and I feel like a Sunlight Heir who didn't have that kind of persistent connection to the Hero and Monster would have the potential to go waaaay off the rails a lot more often than Heirs do anyway. Karzarul might be the one blatantly causing problems on most cycles, but having him and the Hero active when the Heir comes to power at least keeps them focused on their reincarnation bullshit...

you cannot deny that the hero does try to stop them from killing each other and also everyone else

he never said he'd succeed

@spinachwrap asked:

BIGGEST BOY It took me til chapter 20 to understand how Violet and the boys showed up and I about yelled. New! Monsters!!!

@asimovsideburns asked:

Sorry I’m just thinking about Astielle again and most if not all of Ari’s humanoid forms being at least partly imitative of someone he likes (and the others being made of what he thinks they’ll like) because moonlight is a reflection

@ephemeraltea asked:

part of what i love so much about your writing, particularly noticeable in astielle, is that you take a silly or off-hand thing and make it have true depth and emotional weight. like. collect one of everything from this open world video game. but for minnow, it's proof that she has desires outside of previous lives, that her experiences are not just slowly pixelating copies of things she's done before. this flower, i know i've seen it as me, because i have it pressed and saved at home. i have a memory of it that is only mine. and that fucking gets me!!!!

anonymous asked:

Karzarul getting all huffy about monsters naming themselves after descriptors *shakes my head* This is a TRADITION OF YOUR PEOPLE carried out EVEN TO THIS DAY *gestures to Violet who is... violet* I don't want to hear anything from you on the topic Mr. Beautiful.

anonymous asked:

RE: Karzarul getting huffy. It's probably influenced by the little Vaelon voice in the back of his head repeating "But that isn’t really a name..." over and over again, but still. I don't want to hear it from you, Mr. Beautiful!

anonymous asked:

Just from the way Karzarul responds to being told Elias died of being old with an Unconvinced Hm™ it seems like he knows about the immortality thing. But maybe they DO start aging after one (or more) of them dies?

@ceruleanvulpine asked:

RETURN OF “I WANT YOU WHATEVER YOULL GIVE ME” AHHHH

anonymous asked:

MA'AM. MA'AM HOW COULD YOU. I can't believe you did this to us VAELON NO

listen. i did it to myself also.

@punkpixieprince asked:

god even when I KNEW how it ended I still cried SO MUCH. I'm still crying right NOW. I imagined it in so many ways but honestly knowing it was an accident, that even after everything he killed her on accident, just really... destroyed me a little.

anonymous asked:

Vaelon: If I like everything *just the right amount* and not too much, then I won't want to commit suicide when it's gone. FORTUNATELY, I only have one person that applies to. And EXTRA fortunately she is now immortal. ... UNFORTUNATELY, there are now TWO people. EXTRA unfortunately, they are now trying to kill each other.

it turns out having gratitude-based cbt and existential nihilism as your religion has its limits as a depression treatment when literally no one around you has ever noticed that's what you're doing

anonymous asked:

What Vaelon Says: I don’t want any of us to be alone. What Vaelon Means: I don't want to be alone, and I don't mind leaving Karzarul alone if it means I can avoid being without one of the two people I can't live without.

vaelon has always vastly overestimated the extent to which karzarul wandered off to hang out with the many cool new monster friends his mom made him, and who he never wanted to introduce him to

anonymous asked:

Excited about the first mention of Moon priests. Also enjoy having my personal belief that the Sun priests are insufferable validated. Vaelon is STILL the only Void priest in evidence, ever. Understandable, seems like a difficult calling. *imagines poor little deluded Star priests running around in modern times being VERY WRONG*

anonymous asked:

They get a little mark on their hand to show who killed who? Does that work with people not-them? Did Leland wander around with a little sun on his hand from killing all the heirs? Is that how he's been telling everyone HE's the heir??? Did it happen to some random guardsman the first time and then Leland murdered him to try and get it himself? *chanting* Mark of Cain, Mark of Cain!

anonymous asked:

Idk if I should be happy or devastated for predicting what would happen for the most part in chapter 21 and 22. But also wth the sun on his hand???? Where are those terms and heckin conditions please tell me those were as immutable as the weapons

anonymous asked:

That Lynette died with her left hand clean makes me feel violent emotions. How many? Monsters with Vaelon’s face and deaths that Karzarul could feel. Enough to get used to it. She waited until he said he wasn’t connected to them. She spat monster like a slur. Sun circle advisors whispered in the ear of a woman who’d asked to be able to commit atrocities that her empire was the world. You’re too good at this, I don’t know if I can recover.

(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

anonymous asked:

Yeah, Lynette. You never asked for help, AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

anonymous asked:

“Why is it always my fault?” That's a very valid question, Karzarul. I can't think of any time the other two attempted to accommodate you, other than Vaelon mentioning he started helping people because he knew it bothered you, or him taking you back to the lake when you were in visible physical distress. Even when you hadn't done anything to cross her empire, when the only thing you'd taken from her was a small amount of Vaelon's attention, Lynette blamed you.

anonymous asked:

“Of all the fucking things you could have done, You made a new one. Another fucking monster, with his face. Do you think that’s going to stop me? Or do you think you’re proving something, making me kill him? Having to see his face, again and again and again, every time I kill one of those fucking things? His face, staring back at me, every fucking time and now you’ve made another one." ...Not everything is about YOU Lynette.

anonymous asked:

I loved learning that Vaelon designed Karzarul's moon/bug motifs.

anonymous asked:

Gaslight (Karzarul about things being his fault), Gatekeep (Karzarul away from Vaelon because if you can't have him *the way you want him* nobody can have him), Girlboss (of an empire that is actually only negatively impacting your mental health and it would be better for you to ditch that gig)

karzarul just hated to see a girlboss winning 😔

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 299: No Chains Left

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “and then AFO broke out all of the inmates from six other prisons and took a nap. well anyways, here’s the hospital angst.” Kacchan woke up two days later and was all, “WAIT BUT HOW ARE DEKU AND TODOROKI AND ALL OF THE OTHER CHARACTERS EXCEPT IIDA DOING” and then we cut to Shouto’s room where the other U.A. kids were sitting around being Mutually Traumatized and giving each other moral support and such. Everyone was alll, “...”, and then the rest of the Todofam showed up, INCLUDING POSSIBLY REI?! which, omg. The chapter ended with Kacchan STOMPING THROUGH THE HALLS all “WHADDYA MEAN DEKU HASN’T WOKEN UP YET”, dragging along Satou and Mineta behind him, fueled by the power of ALL OF THE FUCKS HE NOW GIVES. He gives so many fucks now you guys. This boy cares so much he can probably deduct it on his taxes.

Today on BnHA: SPEAKING OF PEOPLE WHO GIVE A LOT OF FUCKS, the story cuts abruptly to Hawks, freshly recovering from his near-death experience, and pondering the threads that have weaved the tapestry of his life and led him to this moment. Basically he grew up in poverty with his Jerk Dad and Jerk Mom until his dad got arrested one day and his mom sent him off to go Find Money Or Something, and so he rescued a busload of people and found himself a new career. Back in the present day, Hawks and Jeanist ride around town in Jeanist’s Jamborghini having awkward encounters with civilians in a country on the brink of social collapse, and visiting Hawks’s mother’s home. Hawks is all “I know from an outsider’s perspective it must look like my life currently sucks, but now that the HPSC is gone, my public image is shot, and my parents are finally out of my life, I’m actually feeling SURPRISINGLY GOOD.” Anyway so he’s gonna go meet up with Endeavor now, and p.s. this chapter was fucking fantastic though, damn.

oh my god?? is this Hawks narration?? something about him growing up watching the heroes on TV and thinking of them as fictional characters

okay I scrolled down a little bit more to see the rest of that “Keigo” panel, and wow

this is basically a shed. poor boy definitely grew up rough. let me tell you guys, I came in here ready for some BakuDeku shenanigans; I was not prepared for Hawks Flashback Angst. I AM HERE FOR IT, but also wow I gotta brace myself now lol

HELLO MISTER HAWKS’S JERK DAD, SIR

BnHA sure does have an array of Jerk Dads, doesn’t it. makes me appreciate characters like Masaru and JirouDad all the more for bucking the trend

anyway. so Horikoshi, you really thought that one itty bitty chapter of hospital catharsis would be enough to calm us all before you went right back to showing us child abuse huh. my god man can we rest

BABY HAWKS

swear to god this kid can’t be more than five or six, and yet he has this completely blank look on his face even with his dad looming over him being all threatening and shit. like he’s shut down his emotions to protect himself. imagine what has to happen to a child for him to have learned this at such a young age. fuck

AND MEANWHILE THIS GUY

don’t mingle with humans?? not “other” humans, just humans?? what is this implying here?? and also holy shit Hawks definitely didn’t inherit his looks from his dad orz

then again he doesn’t really bear much of a resemblance to his strung-out mom here either

omg omg omg. and this child is basically trapped here in this environment with these two people. this explains a SHITLOAD about Hawks’s personality though you guys. his ability to completely separate his real thoughts from the face he presents to the outside world. his pragmatic approach to analyzing and solving problems. his layers of emotional walls. turns out almost none of that came from the HPSC training -- that was all learned hands-on in his own personal do-or-die survival nightmare childhood!! oh, boy

and small wonder then that he latched on to Endeavor so strongly if he really is the one who brought down his dad and inadvertently saved him from this. also, just putting this out there, I know people are always talking about him and Dabi being foils, and I think it’s very interesting how Touya grew up in a household where he saw firsthand the dark side of hero society, and so ended up becoming a villain in order to bring it down. whereas young Keigo had almost the exact opposite experience, growing up experiencing the dark side of villain society and becoming a hero in order to bring about a world where no one else has to experience that. just. both of them are so determined not to become their fathers. some interesting parallels there

so Hawks was sort of an accident after his parents had “thanks for helping me not get caught after I killed that guy” sex, and now this little boy is growing up in squalor and being beaten by his father for things like Sitting In The Wrong Out-Of-The-Way Corner Trying Not To Be A Bother To Anybody. holy fuck. this is so rough to read through you guys

wait so does Jerk Dad have a an eyeball manipulation quirk?? because he doesn’t have the wings like his son, but wth are these things??

this presumably also means that Keigo has never been to school or anything either. he basically doesn’t exist. he thinks heroes are fictional characters, he doesn’t realize that they’re real people. these are people who could help him if he could escape and find them, but he doesn’t know, and they don’t know about him

OH MY GOD HE’S JUST SITTING IN HIS CORNER HUGGLING HIS ENDEAVOR PLUSH OH MY GOD

how could this child possibly have an anti-fandom when he’s done NOTHING WRONG HIS ENTIRE LIFE. huh. just explain that to me. lol I mean I’m not looking to pick a fight with anyone, but also, MAYBE I AM, idk?? this kid has gotten me all riled up lmao

anyways, Protect Keigo 2021, and thank you Horikoshi for these three very terrible pages. I am pleased to inform you that you’ve effectively gotten your point across and you may now commence saving this kid already

YAY

oh no, Keigo’s dumbass jerk dad tried to steal a car and the popo nabbed his ass and now his mom can’t just sit around neglecting her VERY YOUNG SON all day long, oh horrors. sorry lady my tiny violin is on backorder. just imagine that I’m playing a very sarcastic song on it for you

anyway so what are you gonna do now, abandon him? I can hardly imagine he’d be worse off, if anything it might be a near-instant improvement

LMAO HE’S ALL “WAIT WHAT ENDEAVOR’S A REAL FUCKING DUDE?!”

AND THEY SAY THAT A HERO CAN SAVE US~~~~ I’M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAAAAAIT~~~~~ I’LL HOLD ONTO THE WINGS OF THE EAGLES, WATCH AS WE ALL FLY AWAAAAAAY~~~~

lol what a randomly pivotal moment in his young life. TIME TO GO MAKE THESE MEMES INTO DREAMS YOUNG ONE

anyway so his mom freaked out and grabbed him and they wound up at a train station with her TELLING HIM TO GO GET HER SOME MONEY, oh my god. SURE MOM LEMME JUST WALTZ RIGHT ON DOWN TO THE “JOBS FOR FIVE-YEAR-OLDS” STORE AND TELL THEM I NEED SOME CASH. ffff manifesting someone to come help him in 3... 2...

...

SIGH, JUST GO RESCUE THE PEOPLE FROM THE BUS, KEIGO. is this the outfit he was wearing when that happened?? it must be, right?? I can’t imagine them surviving more than a couple days out here unless this starts getting REALLY dark in a way I know that even Horikoshi won’t explore, so yeah. cut to the HPSC now please. never thought we’d be glad to see them. I mean sure, it may be an “out of the frying pan...” case, but good god

THANK YOU!!

and I guess it was his mom’s eyeball quirk then. anyway, whatever, see you again never, hopefully. lol oh man. thaaaat, was upsetting. need to center myself here for a sec. NAMASTE

OH YAY THE PRESENT

so we cut from Baby Hawks Angst straight to Present Day Hawks Angst, huh. not that this exhausted and traumatized lil lad isn’t still a baby to me too, I’ll have you know

BEST JEANIST, ALWAYS WITH THE JOKES

“WHEW, THOUGHT YOU DIED ON ME FOR A SEC THERE KID.” lmao. Caleb will no doubt ruin this by making his word choice all stiffly formal as usual, so I’m just going to treasure this “WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I’M FRESH OUT OF FUCKS” version of Jeanist while I can

look at him, driving his Jeanistmobile

again, is it any wonder Kacchan was bitching about Endeavor’s dinky little car when he was used to riding around town in style like this. anyone else staring at this panel trying to figure out how this car is somehow secretly made of jeans

NOOOOO

FUCK YOU DABI LMAO. PUTTING THESE VOICE ACTORS OUT OF A JOB ONE BY ONE

anyway so Jeanist is all “GOOD THING IT’S THE FUTURE AND WE’RE SO GOOD AT MEDICAL SCIENCE” to handwave how Hawks went from one step shy of being a very handsome corpse, to sitting around texting Jeanist in a car all of two days later

OH MY GOD, AND FINALLY AN EXPLANATION FOR THIS

wait a minute. I’m so confused lmfao. soooo, was Hawks all “anyway, here’s Jeanist’s dead body, you can examine it but please don’t look at him too closely and also I’m gonna need that back unharmed.” how tf did you pull that off lmao

(ETA: also isn’t this technically confirmation of the ol’ Noumu Jeanist theory lol. I’m gonna go ahead and say it is.)

NO BUT PLEASE, CONTINUE. I unironically love reading Horikoshi’s overly convoluted “SEE IT’S NOT A PLOT HOLE” explanations

lkldslfk so wait, you’re telling me Hawks convinced Dabi and the League to put Jeanist’s body in storage, and basically just hoped they wouldn’t use him for any experiments until he could put his plan into action and have the HPSC’s people break in and find and revive him?? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG. A FOOLPROOF PLAN IF I’VE EVER HEARD ONE

fff this man really asked Jeanist to risk it all to prop up his little cover story, and Jeanist was all “sure why not” omfg. anyways, thanks for recapping all of this out loud for no particular reason in your car conversation you two

LMAO NOW WHAT

TROUBLE YOU SAY? GOOD THING THE NEW NUMBER ONE HERO IS ON THE JOB THEN

okay no it’s just some random thugs strolling around terrorizing the downtown. fuck ‘em. so Jeanist is making short work of them now

uh oh

won’t come? not can’t, but won’t?? what???

WOW

well I guess that makes the local heroes A BUNCH OF SHITHEADS now doesn’t it?? jesus

and okay, serious question, if the cops are spread too thin and the heroes have literally walked out on the job, what exactly is stopping everyone from deciding to use their quirks to defend themselves, legal or not? nothing, as far as I can tell. society just got a hell of a lot more chaotic

anyway so this is an interesting panel here

man, Dabi really did pull it off, didn’t he. well anyway so here’s that better world all of the villains were wanting, you guys! isn’t it so great?? everyone’s terrified and angry and losing hope and society is inches away from collapsing into total anarchy! but hey, at least we exposed the number one hero as a hypocrite

anyway so what are these guys up to

fucking hell, he’s visiting his mom. I really wasn’t prepared to commit this much emotional energy towards reading this chapter today. BUT VERY WELL, WE PRESS ON

?? wait she’s not there?

is this supposed to explain how Dabi knew who Hawks really was? except that there’s the little matter of how he even know where to find his mother in the first place. feels like we’re still missing something there, but oh well

OH MY GOD

RHA I TAKE BACK EVERY WORD I EVER SPOKE AGAINST YOU. YOU ARE A SCANLATION GROUP FILLED WITH ANGELS LMAO. I WILL TAKE THIS PANEL IN MY HANDS, AND TREASURE IT AND KEEP IT SAFE

ANYWAY, BECAUSE MY TIRED BIRD SON’S LIFE SUCKED SO MUCH ALREADY, IT TURNS OUT HE’S ACTUALLY PLEASED WITH THIS NEW TURN OF EVENTS LOL HOW ABOUT THAT

GOOD FOR YOU BBY. YOU GO OUT THERE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON

and in all seriousness, I love that identity he chooses -- chooses, because it actually is him making a choice now, possibly for the very first time in his life -- is “guy who helps people”, though. it really is nothing short of miraculous that he held on to that kind of optimism and desire to do good even with everything he’s been through. there were so many times he could have chosen to turn his back on the world in retaliation for the way it treated him. but he didn’t!! and here he is now, finally free, and what he wants to do with the rest of his life now is simply to help others. anyway please excuse me for a moment, I need to go find some sort of basket or a big vase to put all of my fresh new Hawks Feels in, pardonne-moi

YEAH BOIIIIII

“FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, MISTER JEANIST, WHERE DID YOU FIND YOUSELF THAT SWEETASS CAR.” hey, all I’m saying is if this boy’s wings really aren’t growing back, he’s gonna need to find himself a new means of transportation y’know?

oh my god you guys it’s a flashback to his mom buying him the Endeavor plushie when he was like two because, and I quote, ALL MIGHT WAS TOO EXPENSIVE

oh my god oh my god. my boy out here with a new lease on life finding hope in the darkest of times

wasn’t your throat supposed to be all fucked up lmao. Horikoshi was suddenly all “oh shit the VAs are gonna be pissed at me if I keep this up huh”

“that’s why Bubaigawara was such a great guy” motherfucker IT IS A TERRIBLE DAY FOR RAIN. FORECAST SAID NOTHING ABOUT THIS

:’)

yes ma’am. yes indeed. confirmed, I really will straight up fight some motherfuckers for this child. well not really, but YOU KEEP YOUR DISCOURSE OFF MY LAWN AND OUT OF MY BLOG YOU HEAR. THIS IS A HAWKS-FRIENDLY SPACE. WE RESPECT TAKAMI KEIGO IN THESE STREETS

and he’s saying (or is he thinking?? what a weirdly shaped speech bubble this is) that even if what Dabi said about the Todoroki household is true, “I’m not sure it’s the same now.” which happens to be ABSOLUTELY CORRECT. man this whole chapter really is all about saying “fuck the past” and moving forward and I am living for it

SON!!!!

“the first step is at my beginning” fklkjlk. what an iconic fucking line??

AND HIS WINGS!!!! THEY ACTUALLY ARE GROWING BACK AHHHHHHH. “PUT A RAINCHECK ON THAT CAR, JEANIST-SAN.” THE HAWKSMOBILE CAN WAIT, RIGHT NOW HE HAS TO GO INSERT HIMSELF BACK INTO THE TODODRAMA WHETHER THEY LIKE IT OR NOT

you guys. I came here ready for some BAKUDEKU HOSPITAL ANGST, and I got DIDDLY SHIT of that, and none of my other kids were even in this chapter, but!!! ASK ME IF I CARE LMAO omg. because bird son is hanging with his new best friend, and he’s out here Finding Himself and picking up the pieces and putting them back together stronger than ever because RESILIENCE HAS A NAME, AND IT’S SPELLED H-A-W-K-S, and you guys. profound, my love for this child. holy shit. hey google, play Silence by Marshmello

[andieperrie18]

moral of the story (batfamily x batmom reader)

Inspire by moral of the story by ashe

So I never really knew you, God I really tried to

Loving Bruce wasn't hard. I have a lot of love to give and I gave myself to him unconditionally and thought that I he'll learn to love me someday. There were times that he would open up to me about things and his children. I did everything I could to help him, from taking care and raising the children he adopted, loving them like they are mine, to supporting his nightly routine.

"Aren't you father's wife, why aren't you sleeping in the same bed with him?" asked little Damian as I tucked him to his bed.

It's surprising to everyone that I was the first to tame the blood child of Bruce but I didn't really know how I did it too. Same as all of Bruce's children. I guess I just loved them all equally as a mother would wth her own child.

He wasn't the first child to ask me that, Dick, Jason, Tim, Cass and Duke did aswell but I didn't have the heart to tell them that I was hoping to be one day worthy to sleep beside him.

I was talking with my lawyer, saying where'd you find this guy

Said young people fall in love with the wrong people sometimes

I can't even move a muscle. My eyes were just staring at the blank line marked with an X and beside it was another line but filled with the perfect signature of my husband.

"I'm really sorry Y/n," I heard my lawyer/childhood bestfriend mutter to my side. I took a glance at her, teeth gritted and a frown blossomed on her face.

"Fei, its really ok-","OKAY?! HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT Y/N?!! YOU LOVED HIM FIRST!! YOU SAYING THAT YOU ARE REALLY LETTING HIM GO TO A S--"

"Fei, please. Don't make this harder. I don't need you to tell 'I said so' or 'you should have listened to me'. I don't even know how to tell my kids abou this so please don't make it harder for me..." I could feel my voice breaking with both my hands holding my torso cause I can't even read the contents of the papers placed before my eyes.

She finally stopped walking in circles from my pheripheral vision for a moment then pulled the chair she was sitting on earlier close to me. Then next I felt her pull my head to her until I was nuzzling my unmake-up face to her white office shirt.

That night, I walked down to the batcave where Bruce was. Alfred was there as well and didn't fail to greet me with a warm smile. But he saw the manila folder I held and it made the smile on his face disappear in a blink. I made my way to the man I once called my husband. He wasn't alone.

In his Batman uniform, his lips was sealed in a loving kiss by the only woman he had ever loved from the start. The very woman I can never compete for his heart.

Selina immediately notice my presence and pulled away from Bruce. She loved him. She really did, I guess that's enough assurance that Bruce will be okay. His world will keep turning with or without me in it.

Bruce turned to where she was looking to meet my pained smile. He put himself before her, it made my heart ache a lot more. Whe I got to them, I didn't let him speak as I gently handed the envelope I had. Judging how his face turned from concerned to guilty, he already knows what's inside.

"I just wanna say something to her, I won't her,"

He didn't speak but moved aside and I was face to face with Selina. I could tell with the way she avoids my gaze, she is guilty with my state. With slightly shaking hands, I took her hands.

Some mistakes get made, it's alright it's okay

You can think that you're inlove, when you're really just in pain

third person

"I know that he loves you and no matter how much love I give him, It won't come to that amount on how much you love him," despite the stutter at the end of the sentence, Y/n kept he chin up.

Bruce was silent but he knew what he did was eating him inside. His guilt was prowling beast ready to swallow him up at that running second. He was the one fueling it as well as regret grew. He understood this act was the cause of his heartlessness but in his mind he knew that Y/n didn't believe that.

What was worse at that moment and had made his guilt grow a lot more was winessing how his now ex-wife acted. Instead of rampaging, she acted civil and collected.

"I won't bother the both of you, all I ask is that you take care of my children,"

With that, she left the couple alone. They were silent but something screamed louder in it.

"Ummi?" Y/n's head shot up as her eyes found Damian who was rubbing his eyes as he had just woke up from a nap. The woman put a smile and walked to the boy, taking her in her arms carrying him. Damian didn't mind this gesture from her as he had grown custom to his only motherly figure in the house. The only woman he will recognize as his mother at the bottom of his heart.

"Hey baby D, why you up? It's half past bed time," Damian leaned his head tiredly on Y/n's shoulder and mumbled, "I'm hungry Ummi,"

Unknown to the boy that his sudden presence was what his mother needed at the moment of rock bottom. With a stuttering voice, she agreed to do the boy's request. Y/n walked to the kitchen with a slow pace while holding Damian close as if someone would try to take him away from her.

That night, she baked a lot of chocolate chip cookies because Damian wasn't the only one who came. Dick came with Jason and Tim after a tight shift in Patrol. They all shared about how their days went before Cass and Duke followed in and entered the last bonding they'll have with their mother.

They say it's better to have loved and lost

To have never have loved at all

Damian fell asleep on the island and Y/n took the liberty to take him to his room. But before he could leave, the slight pull on the hem of her shirt stopped her. She spun her head slowly to meet all of her children's lowered heads and sad faces. They already know.

"Mom I--…We...--" her eldest began his bright blue eyes turning glossy as every second pass, trying to form the right words he wants to say. He always knew what to do when it comes tips and advices for people like a typical therapist as Jason joked but for the first time, even he can't think of anything to do to ease the second special woman next to his biological mother, "Richard, sweet heart…"

The boy didn't finish but rushed towards her and his sibling followed, crowding over her. Y/n welcomed the comfort of the children she come to treasure in her heart. They all head to the living room and continued to crowd Y/n. Damian innocently slept as you cradle him to your chest, Jason and Cass occupied your sides, Tim rested himself beside you legs, Dick held his mother's hand resting in top of Jason's thighs as he no longer minded it, Duke sat at the opposite side of Tim and Stephanie sat beside Cass. All of them stayed up staring into thin air hoping tomorrow wouldn't come.

that could be a load of shit

but I just gotta tell you all

your pov

"U-ummi please…please…."

The weight on my shoulder doubled as I weakly tried to removed Damian's arms wrapped around my waist, his hand clinging to the thick beige sweater I wore to sheild me from the cold wind. I can't even breath with all my sobbing and I can't even see straight with all the free falling down from my eyes and cheeks.

"Damian baby, Ummi has to go," I tried to say straight.

As much as I wanted to shove Damian away so that I won't get caught and cornered up byhis siblings because if I do, it'll make leaving a lot harder than it is.

some mistakes get made, it's alright, its okay

third person

Turns out Y/n did all the things in one day. After signing papers, she had her bestfriend book her a flight to a foreign country. She will need a lot of alone time to contemplate and digest her current situation. Before she head to the cave, she had already packed her things for her flight. Everyone except Damian saw the bags waiting near the entrance. They would have rushed to talked her out when they found her happily talking with their youngest sibling like nothing happened that whole day. They all silently and mentally agreed that their mother needed this, Y/n needed this. Alfred couldn't bear the sad faces in the living room. Bruce didn't bother to come out his room after Selina have left. He can't face her. You don't derserve to see the man who betrayed you.

Dick and Jason was the first to wake when Damian's loud voice boomed outside the house. And soon everyone woke and they all head to the open doors. What they saw woke them to reality. Their aunt Fei's car was parked at the Drive way and beside is was Y/n and Damian, the latter latched on the woman's waist.

No one had the guts to walk over you two and pull the sobbing child on her mother's waist.

"I don't want her, I want you!!" the boy cried. Damian had never cried that much before. He was using all his strength to stop Y/n from entering the vehicle.

Y/n stopped struggling as she finally bursted to fits of sobs and collapsed in front of Damian who pulled her into his tight embrace. Both crying their hearts out.

"Don't leave," he repeated over and over as he buried his face on her neck. "I love you Ummi,"

"Damian, Baby I'm really Sorry. I am so sorry, I love you baby so much," Damian slowly collapse in her arms and Y/n dropped the sleep sedative she hid in her pockets if Damian ever find out. Continous sobs left her as her Dick came to her and took Damian from her arms. She hugged her eldest tightly, Jason followed with few tears escaping his own eyes, then Tim and so on.

Alfred who had been hidden by the crowd of her children walked to her. Y/n didn't hesitate to hug the old man who cried silently.

Y/n hopped inside the car and watched her children sad and crying faces but mostly to unconscious boy held by her eldest child.

[jumin-deserves-better]

My thoughts on all the Mystic messenger characters and their routes :

Ok, last week I finished playing the mystic messenger game. I completed all the routes, DLCs etc. And, OMG, WHAT A RIDE WAS THAT ! . It doesn't have any appealing plot like other otome games, but this game sure did capture my heart,which most of the otome games fail to do so. The fact I could relate to some of the characters, I felt bad for them, concerned, weirded out at times , and so happy when they changed into a happy person because of me. The game deserves all the praise it gets, 10/10 👍

In this post, I will give my rating based on my playthrough for each character, and I will also say who is my true route as well, i.e, the route I fell in love the most, And please remember, these are based on MY opinions alone, please don't come at me, if it doesn't match yours 👀, Feel free to share your opinions about the characters as well & this post is way long beware ~☆

My playthrough order : I followed the recommended playthrough to get a clear picture of the storyline.

Zen 》Yoosung》 Jaehee》 Jumin 》 Seven》 V 》 Ray.

And for your kind information, I never played this game to get a bad ending, i didn't want to hurt those precious fictional characters just for getting one CG 🤐, but I do know what happens

SPOILER FREE!, I will be just giving MY OWN ratings , except for the rika part lol don't worry, ladies.!

Anyways, let's just jump into it ;),

Zen 🤍:

THAT SMIRK THOUGH 😏

His route : 9/10 ( not the best route, but I liked it anyways, as he is my 1st route)

His character: 8/10 ( I don't like narcissism or narcissistic people, I know it was his coping mechanism, but I kind of dislike those type of men, his attitude in Jumin's route, kinda pissed me off apart from that , he is great ! )

Is he my true route ? : NO, I don't like guys who are narcissistic, I understand that that its was his coping mechanism, to make him believe in himself, but still being narcissistic all the time is not ok, I have a bad memory because of those type of guys, moreover, I am not that confident irl 😂 , I mean the MC in Zen's route,will have to say lots of weird ass choices, and the fact that will impress him⁉️, i wouldn't even say those choices irl to anyone . I wouldn't mind being friends with him though. He is definitely the ideal BF material, but he is just isn't for me..Sorry, Zen.😅

Yoosung 💚 :

AWW CUTIE 🥺💕

His route : 9/10 ( apart from the "You are just like Rika", I personally enjoyed his route, the character development was the best at the end 👌)

His character : 9/10 (OMG! He is just so cute, I am not the one to get attracted to the 'younger guy' type, but this guy just changed everything for me, but he needs lots of attention , beware, yandere yoosungs will pop out if u don't care about him enough, and the fact this guy was the only one who was supportive for Jumin's relationship with MC in Jumin's route , showed how much of a cutie he is!, unlike others 😒, he was a bit annoying in V's route, but it is understandable, he deserves to knw the truth about the person who he admires )

Is he my true route ? : Kind of a YES & a NO. Eventhough I enjoyed his route more than Zen, like I said earlier I am not into those 'younger guy' type, he is a guy who loves to be babied and protected by a mature MC , and well...I am not that mature either 😛,in reality, I am a independent person, but when it comes to relationships, i liked to be babied 😏. I personally think he deserves someone better than me, I don't want to ruin his happiness 🥺

Jaehee 🤎 :

A friend in need is a friend indeed, my bae,Jaehee! 😄

Her route : 7/10 ( ok, I am gonna be honest here, I did not enjoy her route, I was happy that she realized her dreams and goes for it, but do we have to ruin a character just for making this route dramatic? Yes, I am talking about Jumin, Do u guys even know, how much I struggled to even start Jumin's route, I was literally scared of him because of his potrayal in this route as that jerk which he was btw,this route actually made me avoid Jumin for sometime.I expected the relationship between Jumin and Jaehee to become a healthy one, but oh well, whatever, & the after ending was just frustrating,all the RFA members just isolated Jumin, seriously, eventhough he did wrong things ,I felt so bad for him, imagine his thoughts at that moment , ugh...Jaehee deserves a better route, I am just not a fan of 'downgrading one character to give more importance to the main one', it's just bad writing)

Her character : 8/10 ( she is an amazing friend, a bit mature one at that. But personally i felt , if she really wanted to pursue her dreams ,she could have resigned, if she is not liking it . She was behaving a bit ignorant at times, especially in Zen's route. She could have communicated with Jumin beforehand about her difficulty in handling the job? I knw it's very difficult to suddenly quit the job, but she has every right to resign,she does have the money to open a coffee shop, thn why?. Don't come at me, and tell me that I hate her just because she is a female character,HELL NO, I like her but still her route made me have mixed feelings. She was being rude at times , I really understood why CHERTIZ did this, to show women can liberate themselves to work for their dreams, but in a professional point of view, I still think the route could have been handled better. Small businesses success isn't as easy to get, and in my point of view it would have been nice to show how MC and Jaehee make it through in her route rather than making Jumin a jerk, because it ruined Jumin at first for not only me but also a number of players ,but oh well,🏃‍♀️, I do like her, she could be a great friend, nothing more that that )

Is she my true route? : NO, I am straight. I see Jaehee as a friend. Some ask a romantic route for her, but I don't mind about that , I was just glad that I could help her to realize her dreams as a FRIEND.

Jumin 💜 :

I don't see a selfish jerk here, I see a soft boi , in a gigantic body, who is just lonely

His route : 10/10 ( Seriously, I did not expect to like his route one bit, I thought I would hate him more, but turns out, I freaking fell in love with the flawed "him" , HECK YEAH! this was the only route where i was being TRUE TO MYSELF, did not refer any guides, understood his loneliness, I could relate to him so bad, I was happy to help him during his vulnerable times 🤧.Zen was annoying ,but I didn't care much about it, because I knw why he was like this. I prefer the good ending, and yes he does propose for marriage to whom he have talked for only 11 days, but I was very sure he will listen to you, if u don't want the marriage immediately )

His character : 9/10 ( He is so cute in his own way,mature, intelligent,awkward and even gets insecure,because he thinks he does not deserve you?! , you deserve better than me ,Jumin 😫, he does get possessive and irrational and that could make others uncomfortable, but for me, I understood that as well, being an empath myself ,as this dude never had a relationship with anyone,he is new into this, I don't mind teaching him new things about the world, about love. His characterization in Jaehee's route was god awful and cheritz did a bad job in it , I think they decided to make him like this, just for DRAMA,Jumin might have a bad way of showing emotions but he is not a soul less demon. I have seen people calling Jumin an abuser, but I didn't see that at all, he was being an idiot and he acknowledges it, every damn time, an abuser doesn't do this at all, and no..I don't think Jumin is dominant daddy material one bit like how the fandom perceives him. This is his first relationship with a woman, I feel he would be sweet, embarrassed loving and a loyal husband material, and I love his "opposed to living together before marriage" thing as well, as my religion follows that too as well )

Is he my true route? : A. BIG. FAT. YES. HE IS JUST MY TYPE, dear lord. I have never seen someone so perfect and also with flaws just like me , this guy made me realize that all along, I just never showed empathy towards others and that's why no one wanted to talk to me irl, I didn't care what people told about me. He seriously made me understand my own flaws and I corrected it, he made me into a better person, big thx , Mr.Jumin . Morever , I was being myself in his route only, I loved all of his calls , he brings up the strangest things just to talk to you, that's just so cute WTH , this man will be so loyal I am sure of it !.I don't really care about his riches, I am just in love with his true self 😫🥺

707 ❤ :

The main man of this game, hmmm....

His route : 7/10 ( ok, I was so hyped to play his route , cuz even before I started to play this game, 707 was so popular, I expected a lot, but it was a meh for me...he did have a VERY HEARTBREAKING PAST , he was suffering from a lot of things, I understand. But the whole route wasn't that gud though...and his secret endings are just painfully depressing and angsty, V's death just broke my heart, I felt so frickin bad for Jumin, how would he even handle those things?.It just destroyed me completely. Moreover I don't find 707's jokes funny at times, his route had good plot, but 707 failed to impress me in his own route)

His character : 7/ 10 ( oh boi,I am scared that I would be slaughtered with hatred for telling this, the fact that he was faking his own personality was very shocking to me, I did not expect that. I despise tsunderes ,and 707 is the literal definition of it, so yeah, It ended up being annoying for me. Even though I was hella depressed like 707 before, I couldn't find him #relatable at all. I don't knw why , but I couldn't see him more than a friend 🚶‍♀️)

Is he my true route? : NOPE. I was not impressed by him at all, don't knw why lol, I tried to like him as he is THE REAL TRUE ROUTE,but it is still not getting into my heart, maybe because I already started to love Jumin, idk. I felt bad for 707, I wouldn't mind helping him as a friend, but as a significant other...NAH....,I am not into these type of guys 🥴,sorry seven...

V 💙 :

I can understand why Jumin and V were best friends...they be looking like DADDY 👀

His route : 8 /10 ( for me, I was happy that V finally understood that he was basically a obsessive simp for Rika, I hated that he blamed himself more, which somehow I agree, I feel like he could have said something to the RFA , yoosung was hella annoying in this route, he spoke as if Rika is an angel or something, which she is not btw, yoosung, she brainwashed saeran and freakin created a cult, and this is not something an angel would do 🥴, V is not just flawed or anything,he doesn't even love himself,and so clings to rika because she was so wonderful in her eyes as an idea .He kept the freakin truth hidden,just because Rika doesn't want to, of course, my baby,yoosung will ask about . V is too emotional,and he was a victim of rika's abuse and manipulation just like Saeran,I liked the plot and though I didn't fall in love with him , I did have a tinsy bit of crush on him, mainly because of his looks, more like a puppy love, the voice acting was on point 👌)

His character : 7/ 10 ( boi could have handled the situation with his crazy GF much better, he actually let Saeran get brainwashed by Rika, he could have done something, and the fact that he liked Rika only as an idea, showed that this guy was in a very toxic relationship, Rika and V are the perfect example of what happens when two people who doesn't love themselves date, and he was clearly the victim of Rika's abuse and manipulation. I also don't think he is an angel either, he has done some wrong things definitely, and the fandom should acknowledge his wrong doings)

Is he my true route? : NO. Though Jumin and V are very similar , I did not like the fact that he simped for his crazy GF out of his obsession alone and though, she was clearly showing red flags earlier, he thinks that the power of love can change her lol . He was so confusing for me to understand. 😂

Ray 💖 :

His route : 10/10 ( The drama , the music, the plot & the voice acting was just fantastic, I was blown away by this route, but that doesn't mean I liked Saeran as a character, the boi needs therapy, not romance lol, sry,and the recovery from his brainwashed state was unrealistic )

His character : 7/10 ( seriously, the voice acting for both the personalities was just mind blowing, he is such a well written character, but his abandonment issues isn't something u should romanticize about, he loved the affection that the MC was giving , but one wrong move, he will change just like that , he confused affection with love. Some are telling that Jumin was abusive, which he is not btw , for me, suit Saeran was super abusive, WTH)

Is he my true route ? : HELL NO. Eventhough he was practically innocent because he was under the influence of that elixir or some kind of a drug and brainwashed by Rika , I would never in my life try to have a romantic relationship with those kind of people. I may like him after he receives proper therapy ,but NO, just No, I can help him as a person, but I wouldn't go for a kiss or something with him. 🙄

Rika 💔:

This scene still gives me goosebumps 🙄

Her character : -infinity / 20 ( she deserves this uwu)

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Ok, hear me out, I hate Rika so much , i know she has been through a lot, i really do.. but it doesn't mean you can emotionally abuse and brainwash Saeran, he would have been a better person,she turned a person who loves ice cream and cloud watching into a self destructive psycho, another story showed how much she is capable of by her words , She manipulated V to not tell RFA that she is gonna start a cult, WHAT THE HELL, V, do you not knw what she is trying to do here 😳 ? But whatever,V was being manipulated by her "playing as a victim" tactics, she also played with Jumin's feelings for her, I was about to throw my hands on her, how dare u do that to my man ??, made yoosung to obsess over her to make him think that she is absolutely a gud person, and left him to ponder over her so called 'passing' , making him unable to move on from her.

And oh god,the backstory did not make me feel bad for her one bit, it only made me understand why she has become like this. Like dude, I understood she had a shitty past, but so did the other members of RFA, but did they all become like a manipulative victim player? Hell no.. they learned from their mistakes and they change, but even when all the members were trying to help her, she denies that she doesn't need a therapy. She deserves a proper mental therapy and a proper jail time. NO EXCUSE FOR THAT, she did the same manipulation and brainwashing for all of her disciples to get them into Mint eye.

But as a character , Rika just rocked it for me , she was so successful in making me and a lot of the fans hate her as an antagonist. Her voice actor was so gud,she had such a good way of speaking manipulative, like God, I understood why all the RFA members were all kind of whipped for her, she is such a master piece as an antagonist. 🚶‍♀️🤫

Vanderwood 💞👀 :

I NEED A VANDERWOOD ROUTE 😫

His character: 10/10 idk, why am I giving a rating for him though? I just love him 😂

Ok, I know he is a side character, but for some reason, I liked him more than 707 lol 👀, I just spoke with him only in one chatroom , but boi , was I whipped for him 😜

*******************************************

My favourite to least MM main characters and routes :

JUMIN - 19/20 ( 1st)

YOOSUNG - 18/20 (2nd)

ZEN & RAY - 17/ 20 ( 3rd)

V & JAEHEE - 15 / 20 ( 4th )

707 - 14 / 20 ( 5th, it's not that I hate him or something, it's just that I was neither IMPRESSED by his character nor the route, I don't mind him one bit! )

Rika -Though she doesn't have a route or a gud character she deserves a -infinity/20 ( and no place in my heart 🚶‍♀️)

Overall, this game is the best otome game ! , I actually paid for getting the hourglasses, I mean, I suck at patience, I was so intrigued by the story, but it was seriously worth it !. There are a number of otome games which charge more than this.

Anyways,

Thank you, Cheritz for creating Mystic messenger. This game totally changed how I perceived life, love ❤ and Romance 💕

[shijiujun]

Can I be cheeky& also jump on the Chuyao fic prompt bandwagon, please? Sham marriage idea proposed by LY when his sister appears to drag him back home. Except LY announces straight up he can't as he is with QCS (We are married...spiritually!) and everyone, even QCS, going wth??? Then there's chaos (LY family) but also support (Bai family /all of Shanghai)? And somehow LY & QCS evolve from friends to lovers? I imagine QCS will suffer in this fic becoz of LY antics. Thank you so much!!

ANON, HERE YOU GO: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25225831

-

“You can’t take me away from Lao Qiao, he’s my husband!” Lu Yao blurts out suddenly in the chaos, yelling at the top of his lungs.

The ensuing silence comes swiftly, and it’s so quiet that he thinks he can hear everyone’s heartbeats.

“You are?” yells Youning, about to launch a ceramic vase at an unsuspecting person in front of her.

“I am?” thinks Chusheng, a fist of his opponent’s hair in his right hand.

--

Read the full chapter below

“You can’t take me away from Lao Qiao, he’s my husband!” Lu Yao blurts out suddenly in the chaos, yelling at the top of his lungs.

The ensuing silence comes swiftly, and it’s so quiet that he thinks he can hear everyone’s heartbeats.

“You are?” yells Youning, about to launch a ceramic vase at an unsuspecting person in front of her.

“I am?” thinks Chusheng, a fist of his opponent’s hair in his right hand.

Lu Yao regrets it the moment the words leave his mouth, because he’d said whatever was the first thing on his mind in this moment of crisis, if only to keep everyone from fighting to the death. How did the situation even escalate like this?

His sister (and his siblings, to be accurate) rarely find themselves surprised by their youngest brother, but this time, Lu Miao’s eyes go comically wide as his words sink in. As soon as the surprise comes, however, the cold fury sets in, and Chusheng turns around just in time to have Lu Miao turn her attention on him. If looks could kill…

Chusheng is a little ashamed to say that he might be dead right now.

“You better explain, Lu Yao,” seethes Lu Miao.

===

He sits uncomfortably on the chair in Bai Qili’s manor, looking at his hands on his laps. Next to him, Chusheng sits as well in silence. The man has not exposed him so far, and Lu Yao wonders if he will — on one hand he hopes fervently that Chusheng helps him through this, but the other part fears Chusheng’s anger and disgust after.

He embarrassed Chusheng in front of so many people earlier. Lu Yao basically fake-outed Chusheng and dragged him into this farce, a farce that has no easy solution.

Why didn’t he use his stupid brain before spouting nonsense?

“You must be joking,” Lu Miao snorts, considering Lu Yao. “Which church or registry would have allowed you to officially marry another man?”

“We’re married spiritually!” Lu Yao retorts, when no one else speaks up. “We did our baitang, three bows and all.”

Chusheng doesn’t contradict him, but Lu Yao can almost feel the murderous intent emanating off the inspector who’s sitting closest to him.

“You are being entirely ridiculous, if it’s not officially registered then it doesn’t count at all! You’re coming back with me right this instant-“

“Why are you always sticking your nose into my affairs where it’s not welcomed? I’m perfectly happy here, have you ever thought about what I want? I’m not three anymore, jie!”

They might have continued to argue for hours after, maybe shatter some plates and cups in the process, if not for Bai Qili’s intervention.

“… Lu-xiaojie, perhaps a baitang doesn’t mean much to you or the rest of the Lu family, but the Bai family and Green Dragon Gang takes the ceremony very seriously. Since San Tu is married to Chusheng by ritual, I’m afraid he is one of ours now. If your family insists, I’m sure I can make arrangements for an official registration, conventional or not," the man drawls, as imposing as ever.

Lu Yao almost gapes at Bai Qili — out of everyone present here in this living room, Lu Yao was sure the old man would be the first to beat him to death and then toss his body into the river for daring to corrupt his Chusheng, never mind that Lu Yao comes from a powerful family himself.

How would he not know what a taboo it is for two men to be together in Shanghai, or the rest of China? If they were overseas — Paris, London, anywhere, this would be much more acceptable, so to hear Bai Qili just go with the flow without a word of protest or even a look at Lu Yao is not what he expects of the head of the Bai family.

Finally daring to brave a look at Chusheng, Lu Yao sees his best friend glance over at the same time and freezes.

There’s no anger, not that Lu Yao can see. Some exasperation and resignation perhaps as Chusheng sports an expression that is similar to the one he has when he’s experiencing severe gastric.

San Tu, you can’t tell me you don’t know just how much he dotes on and gives in to you.

This was something Youning said a while ago, and he shudders, all the hair on his skin standing up as Chusheng reaches out a little hesitantly, and then wrapping Lu Yao’s smaller hand in his.

“Da-jie, lao ye-zi, I’m sorry for not informing the both of you earlier, this was indeed an oversight on my part. We completed the ceremony in the Green Dragon Gang’s altar hall… we were still figuring out how to tell you both. My apologies,” he lies smoothly. “And if here is where San Tu wants to stay, I won’t have anyone take him away from me.”

Fuck, Lu Yao curses internally, his eyes widening because why does this sound so, so real?

A squeeze around his hand reminds him that it’s his turn to play his part, and so Lu Yao continues, “Jie, please. I just want to be here with Lao Qiao. If you… if you decide to take me back home anyway, if you do anything to take him away from me… I won’t want to live anymore.”

Lu Miao stares for a good while, but tries again, “Do I not know you well enough? You won’t have the guts to do that. Stop theatening me, it won’t work-“

“You didn’t think I’d cut myself off from the family,” Lu Yao returns quietly. “But I got out from right under your nose, didn’t I? At least for the first year.”

“San Tu, do you even know what you’re doing? He’s a gang member!”

“Hey, what’s wrong with a gang member? Are you looking down on my brother?” interrupts Youning suddenly, her hands on her hips as she furiously snaps at Lu Miao. “This gang member of a brother has been taking care of San Tu, where were you guys when he was down to his last silver and almost getting chased out of his house? It’s Lu Yao’s fortune to have bagged someone as outstanding as Chusheng-ge!"

Lu Yao pales a little at the mention of a fine example of how he’s not taking care of himself well and also at Youning’s insinuation that he married up, then hurries to say, “Jie, there’s no one else for me but Qiao Chusheng. Where he goes, I will go.”

Even in death, is the unspoken part to that declaration.

She falls silent at that. After a beat passes, Lu Miao turns her attention to Chusheng, as if saying, if my brother wants to be ridiculous, so be it, but are you going to ruin your reputation and everything you’ve built just to play along to his whims?

“And you love him?” she asks.

Unconsciously, Lu Yao clutches back at Chusheng’s hand in his, a plea.

“I love and cherish him above all else,” Chusheng replies without the slightest bit of hesitation.

If Lu Yao ignores everyone else around them, he can almost believe Chusheng when he says that.

===

It’s a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Lu Yao is curled up on the couch in Chusheng’s room at the Bai manor, with his knees drawn up to his chest and his fingers pressing at his temple as he contemplates just how much trouble he’s in. Not only has he pissed off his sister, because he’s sure Chusheng is mad at him too.

Now that the anger at his sister and the Lu family has abated somewhat, Lu Yao is finally left alone in his thoughts as he marvels at how bold he was earlier.

He regrets it now of course, but damn, this is the first time he’s been able to pull one over his sister. As ridiculous as he was, Lu Yao manages to think through the consequences of his actions — mainly the possibility that his family will try to do anything and everything within their power to create trouble for Chusheng.

He’s already dealt Chusheng with such a heavy blow, and over his dead body will the Lu family hurt even a strand of hair on his head, Lu Yao vows.

The only other problem is Chusheng’s happiness in the future. Once the news of his sham marriage with Chusheng goes out, will women dare to approach him after? What if there’s a woman that Chusheng really, really likes right now, and Lu Yao has basically ruined everything for him?

Would Chusheng hate him?

So absorbed he is in his thoughts, his teeth gnawing lightly at his nails, that he misses Chusheng’s entry into the room until the man flops down right next to him on the couch. Lu Yao startles so much that he almost falls off the edge of his seat, if not for Chusheng’s fast reflexes.

“You are honestly…” Chusheng admonishes without heat, sounding absolutely tired.

“I’m sorry,” Lu Yao rarely apologizes and admits his wrongdoings, but here he is. “Lao Qiao, I’m so sorry, I swear I wasn’t thinking-“

“Did I spoil you too much?” the man sighs, leaning into his seat with his eyes closed. “That you would pull such a huge lie in front of your family and mine and think that I would, without question, play along?”

The phrasing is strange enough that Lu Yao knows Chusheng is really, really upset.

Panicked, he replies, “Lao Qiao, I- I’ll go and tell them that it was a lie. I just… I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking! I’ll tell Bai lao-ye that it’s a lie, that you’re helping me deceive my sister, so don’t-“

Don’t be angry with me, don’t ignore me, don’t hate me.

“Forget it. You made the announcement to more than 60 people today, San Tu. I just barely smoothed this over with lao ye-zi, and what’s done has been done,” Chusheng finally says, patting at Lu Yao’s shoulder. “We’ll figure this out tomorrow. You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Other than the fact that Lu Yao doesn’t sleep well in new environments, the events of today have rattled him significantly, and with Chusheng lying on the couch surely awake as well, Lu Yao finds himself staring at the ceiling until dawn breaks.

Lu Yao knows he can fix this for Chusheng.

Can’t he?

===

“Inspector Qiao, congratulations!”

“Da-ge, congratulations! What kind of a brother are you huh, you got married and didn’t think to get us to throw a party for you?”

“Ahh… no wonder Detective Lu has been spending so much time with you recently. You hid it so well, lao-da!”

Chusheng has to be immensely thankful for the support from his brothers and the people who actually know him, like the owners of the snack stalls he frequents, even the newspaper boys that Chusheng regularly tips and everyone at the station. Telegrams start coming in from other precincts that are headed by several other members of the gang, and even some of the petty criminals that are stuck in the holding cell at the station for a few weeks give him their blessings.

Of course, while the people happy for him and Lu Yao actually number more than Chusheng expected, there are as many others who gossip and shoot him strange looks. He can almost hear the, look at him, such a fine young man, if not for his unconventional tastes in a partner.

By the end of the morning, Chusheng has unplugged all electronic communication devices in his office and the doors are firmly locked, with instructions to Salim to not let anyone in unless an entire village is on the cusp of imminent death.

He’s trying his best not to think too much about it. Chusheng meant what he said to Lu Miao before, that there isn’t much he can do for Lu Yao except to ensure that he will not suffer in silence. With the stunt Lu Yao pulled yesterday, this is the best Chusheng can do for him. For now, his strategy is to simply wait until everyone has forgotten that he and Lu Yao are married, and then…

And then what?

It’s not as if baitang is child’s play. Can he simple fake-divorce Lu Yao at the end of this? When will this end, in the first place? A year? Two years, a decade? And let’s say if they do manage that, will any proper and self-respecting woman even consider him?

Chusheng doesn’t have any prejudice against same-sex couples — back when he worked at the docks which saw an all-male staff, sometimes he heard stories about how some brothers would help each other out and find companionship in each other as well — but not everyone shares the same views as he.

At the thought, Chusheng calls, “Ah Dou.”

Ah Dou, who is patiently sorting through Chusheng’s actual work documents and the pile of congratulatory messages that came for him today, looks up from where he’s standing at the shelves.

“Get Liu Zi to send some brothers to protect Lu Yao,” he says with a frown.

That dumbass probably wouldn’t even notice if someone was intending to do him harm and with the way the gossip mill is running, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

And as for the future, possibly marrying a woman…

Chusheng shakes his head, clearing his mind of wishful thoughts.

For someone who doesn’t know if he can live to see the next day, who has blood all over his hands and is no good person at all, Chusheng has never expected to have his own family.

Not even Lu Yao should be tied down to him.

Salim pops his head through a small opening in the doors and asks, “Sir! Two congratulatory flower stands came for you, do you want me to set it up outside the office?”

Finally, Chusheng loses it.

“Anyone who makes another congratulatory remark can spend a night in jail!” he snaps. “What, do people not have anything better to do? I’m not fucking kidding. I don’t want to hear another message coming through the doors of the station, do you hear me?”

“Okay,” Salim replies a little dejectedly, closing the door shut behind him again.

Of course, his outburst and anger is what Lu Yao hears about a few hours later. Remorseful, he turns up at the station and sneaks into Chusheng’s office.

“… what’re you doing here?” Chusheng asks, looking up from his papers.

“Lao Qiao… I’m sorry,” he apologizes, biting at his lower lip. “I didn’t realize there’d be such a huge fuss over this.”

Lu Yao is the perfect picture of a sad, pitiful puppy, and Chusheng has all along doted on Lu Yao, so the image does tug at his heartstrings. As soon as the urge to comfort him comes, Chusheng frowns.

He’s got this all wrong. He’s the one who was wronged and taken advantaged of, so why does Lu Yao look like he’s the one being bullied?

Sighing, Chusheng kicks at the chair in front of him, signalling for Lu Yao to sit down.

“I’m not angry, San Tu. I would have appreciated some warning, and maybe we could have thought things through a little, but as I said last night, that’s all been done and we can’t turn back,” he points out.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Lu Yao swears, “I… I’ll take on all the cases you have while this marriage thing is going on for free? I can… I promise I won’t make you pay for any of my meals again, Lao Qiao. I… I won’t even hang around anymore outside of a case, just… just…”

At that, Chusheng finally laughs, and the sound is a huge relief for Lu Yao, who hasn’t heard him laugh since the shit that went down yesterday.

“I’ll hold you onto the first two then,” Chusheng says nonchalantly. “San Tu ah, what are you thinking? We’re brothers, are we not? You said before that you cherish the friends you have here and… it’s the same for me. If it’s something you want to do, or don’t want to do, I’m at your back ready to support you. For as long as this ruse has to last.”

“Even… if that means you’re in a gay relationship with me? Even if no woman would want to marry you after this?”

“Even then,” Chusheng nods. “I’m no good person to marry anyway.”

“That’s not true!” Lu Yao protests.

“Alright,” Chusheng waves him off. “I’ve already gotten earfuls from Youning and lao ye-zi for not treating you right, so… I guess since everyone thinks we’re married now, you need to move in to my apartment. Get Liu Zi to help you pack, and you really should move in as soon as possible.”

Lu Yao didn’t even think of that. As the implications of staying together with Chusheng sink in, he stiffens in his seat.

“What, you laid your claim on me first and now you’re being all shy about it?” snorts Chusheng, reaching over and poking at Lu Yao’s forehead. “I have an extra room, so don’t worry, husband.”

“Mnn,” Lu Yao nods at that, and his cheeks flush a little pink at the term. “I’ll go pack then.”

“And we have to do dinner at the Bai manor tonight!” calls Chusheng after him.

At the door, Lu Yao blanches.

===

They live together as friends from then on. Compared to Youning, Chusheng is the perfect roommate. At the very least, the likelihood of Chusheng setting something on fire is minimal, and the man’s house surprisingly suits Lu Yao’s tastes. As promised, there is enough space for them to have a bedroom each, and the storage room at the back turns into half a study for Lu Yao and his books.

Lu Yao decides that the least he can do is cook (and now that he has lost his source of income by offering to work for free, the only way he gets fed without having to pawn off his treasures is to ask for grocery money from Chusheng) for them both. When Chusheng realizes that Lu Yao is cooking regularly, he starts coming home early on a daily basis as well.

Bai Le Men and Chang San Tang are off-limits, unfortunately. For now, Chusheng is experiencing what it’s like to live as a monk, but the inconveniences stop there.

In fact, having Lu Yao in the same house as he has its perks, namely the ability to drag Lu Yao out of bed early in the morning for cases.

It’s their first case since the announcement and there is no lack of attention on them, as this is the first time they’re being seen out in public together. When some men in the crowd begin to focus on Lu Yao with less than friendly gazes, Chusheng naturally steps closer to him, his eyes steadily sweeping over the crowd.

He’s mine, he’s trying to say, if you’ve got anything you want to say you come at me.

They solve the murder two days later, and Lu Yao jumps in surprise when Chusheng slides three silvers over the top of the dining table, his usual payment for consulting on cases.

“What…”

“Save it,” Chusheng’s eyes crinkle a little as he smiles, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed you eyeing my wallet recently.”

Touched, Lu Yao feels hot tears come to his eyes, “Lao Qiao, I knew it, you’re the best to me-“

“Yeah, remember that the next time you try to use me to lie to your family. I don’t want you to spring an adopted child on me next,” Chusheng downs his wine, shaking his head.

Not as many changes happen after his fake-marriage to Lu Yao, much to Chusheng’s bewilderment.

On a usual day, it’s typical for him to buy breakfast, lunch or dinner for Lu Yao even before they began to live together. The only difference is that he’s going out to buy breakfast every day now before Lu Yao wakes up instead of every few days. Chusheng still chauffeurs him up and down, only the destination is no longer the apartment he shared with Youning, but Chusheng’s house.

Before this, he had Lu Yao’s cooking frequently too as the man would roll up his sleeves and cook for him and Youning at least one a week or every two weeks. They’re both slowly getting used to each other in close proximity, and the latest of developments involve them making grocery trips together every four days.

Everything else has stayed pretty much the same.

When Chusheng sees an imported coat made of high quality sheep’s fur as he passes by a store one day, he doesn’t even think much of it before he’s walking in and buying the expensive outerwear for Lu Yao. The price doesn’t even cross his mind. All he knows is that Lu Yao will like this.

He presents the bag to Lu Yao over dinner the same day, and Chusheng is right.

Lu Yao loves it so much that he leans over the table and presses a kiss to Chusheng’s cheek in excitement.

“What, are you really that happy?” Chusheng teases, but warmth fills him as he sees that he’s made the right choice.

“Of course I am! You know how scared I am of the cold,” Lu Yao points out, hugging the material to himself. “This material is known for trapping heat in!”

A few weeks later, Lu Yao ironically catches the flu bug despite how protected he is, and ends up bedridden with fever. To better take care of him, Chusheng lets Lu Yao rest in his bed so he doesn’t have to run between two rooms.

The bed sleeps two now, even after Lu Yao has made a full recovery. It feels less empty that way and both Chusheng and Lu Yao find themselves warmer under the covers sharing a bed.

As the weeks go by, they shift from having their own sides of the bed, to falling asleep and waking up in each other’s arms, their legs tangled together. Most of the time, Chusheng wakes to Lu Yao’s hair in his nose and his arm resting over Lu Yao’s waist.

And when Chusheng gets hurt by a rival gang involved in their latest case, Lu Yao tells the nurse outside the operating theatre that he’s Qiao Chusheng’s husband loudly. In the days after the operation. the nurses even bring an extra bed into the ward so Lu Yao can keep an eye on his husband.

The nurses and doctors, for one, think that their relationship is cute.

They even survive a trip to Hai Ning to visit Lu Yao’s father. Chusheng has to endure four separate shovel talks, each sounding more deadly than the previous one, but they get to announce their relationship to Lu Yao’s mother at her grave too.

On the train journey back, Lu Yao dozes off against Chusheng’s shoulder. He lifts up his arm to hug Lu Yao to him so he’s laying a bit more comfortably without question, enjoying the feeling of having Lu Yao in his hold.

===

A year after Lu Yao tried to con his way into matrimony with Chusheng, he returns home to an empty house, Chusheng not yet returned from the station. As Lu Yao passes the dining table for the kitchen to put his groceries away, a piece of paper and a metal trinket catches his eye.

It’s a marriage certificate. As real as it can be, with Lu Yao and Chushueng’s name on it.

The realization that they’ve been living just like a married couple in the past year hits him like a freight train and his legs feel weak.

Indeed, they are as real as any married couple existent in the country, minus the sex.

Of course Lu Yao loves Chusheng. There has never been any question about that. Chusheng is the only person Lu Yao truly cares about, more than he cares about himself.

Wherever he goes, I will go, even in death, he said then.

I love and cherish him above all else, Chusheng had answered.

With a small smile tugging at his lips, Lu Yao slides the gold band onto his fourth finger.

Busy at the stove making Chusheng’s favourite beef stew when Chusheng comes home later, Lu Yao is prepared when the man comes close, sliding his arms around his waist and pressing himself against Lu Yao’s back, his chin hooked on Lu Yao’s shoulder.

It’s not difficult to catch the gleam of an identical band sitting on Chusheng’s hand/

“Smells good,” Chusheng inhales deeply.

Lu Yao sets the spatula aside and covers the pot with a lid to let it simmer, and once he’s free, Chusheng turns him around and reaches for his lips.

They kiss softly as if they’ve done this countless of times, when it’s only their first, proper kiss, but it doesn't matter.

“Tomorrow,” Chusheng breathes, his forehead pressed against Lu Yao’s after they part finally for air.

“Let’s baitang for real in the ancestral hall.”

===

*baitang 拜堂 - Traditional Chinese wedding custom which involves three kowtows, there are variations but usually the couple kowtows to heaven & earth, to their ancestors, and then to their parents. Some baitangs will have the couple kowtowing to each other.

[2ndstar-ontheright]

“I’m Sorry..”

Fandom: Ginny & Georgia

Characters: Ginny, Georgia, Ellen, Clint, Marcus and Max. 

Words: 1513

Summary: Ginny and Marcus apologize and discovers that there’s more to him then meets the eye. 

Warning: Swearing, implied masturbation (it’s very slight though. More of a blink and you’ll miss it sort of thing.), dead character reference, parental caregiver terms (Ex: “Mama”). 

Author’s note: I know you're probably thinking, "WTH did I just read?" But hear me out! I wrote this because I wanted to give more depth to Marcus' character, and of course I had to do that with age regression. Hah! And to have him apologize since we didn't see that yet in the show. (Plus while watching the show I got some kind of vibe. Not really sure how or why, but I did for some reason.) Anyways, I'm planning on turning this into it's own fully fleshed-out story. And I would love to hear y'all's feedback and opinions in the comments. As always, thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy! 

    Ginny was lying in bed, unable to sleep. Her mind was racing as she recalled the events of the past week. Breaking it off with Hunter, Marcus and his bullshit, Georgia (as always), and how she managed to push all her friends away over 2 dumb guys. She sighed, trying to take her mind off things, she picked up her toothbrush from her nightstand and slumped under the covers. “Great. Your life's falling apart and all you can think to do is masturbate? Lovely, Ginny. Just lovely”. As the brush slowly made its way down, she then had to go to the bathroom. Sighing even harder this time, she put the toothbrush back on her nightstand and left the room.

“Mom! It’s Marcus! Your idiot, stoner, “Kyle Scheible” wannabe son! Of course I’m pissed and betrayed as hell that my so-called “best friend” was cheating on her boyfriend with my brother! God! Everything is the worst!” Max equally signed and exclaimed to her parents, angry like a wakened bear. “Well I’m sorry! I’m sorry I don’t know anything because my kids don’t tell me shit anymore!” Ellen replied. “Well I’m telling you now mother dearest!” Max said, stomping up to her room. Slamming the door behind her, she flopped on her bed and scrolled through her pictures. She stopped when she saw a picture of the 4 of them together at the Sophomore Sleepover.“Ginny, why couldn’t you have just talked to me?” Her voice broke as she started to cry.

Downstairs, her parents discussed the situation and what they could do to help. “I just don’t get it Clint. Ginny is a good kid, much better than our own. If we're being honest. How are we gonna fix this?” Ellen asked her husband. “I don’t know dear. But, it’s probably best if we stay out of it. I think we can trust the kids to work it out themselves. Besides, all we can do is watch and intervene when it gets too serious, right?” Clint replied. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks. I love you.” “Anytime, Ellie. I love you too”.

Marcus crossed the street towards Ginny’s house in hopes of doing one thing, apologizing. If there was any time to do this, it was now. Hopefully. That day, after hearing what Ginny said he realized what he was doing. He finally broke things off with Padma, stating how he had been a dick to her and that she deserved better, to which she agreed. He took time to look at himself and think “Why? What’s wrong with you? Climbing up to the window he reached for the latch and lowered his hand. He instead climbed back down, knowing how inappropriate and weird his entrances are. “You’re not J.D, idiot.” He joked to himself, while inside he was terrified.

Hearing the door knock, Ginny went downstairs. She looked through the window and jumped. “Jesus fucking Christ. Why is he here?! And at the door of all places? Well, at least it’s not my window, ``she whispered. Her mind began racing again. She wished she could go back to her room, but now she could not. “Peach, who’s at the door?” Georgia called from the other room. She halted for a moment,”No one mom!” “Okay! I must’ve just been hearing things then. Aw shit! That means I’m gettin’ old!” “Georgia Miller’s one adversity, aging!” Ginny said. “Oh hush!” Georgia said, fake offended. Ginny sighed, opening the door. She leaned on the door frame, ready to face whatever was gonna come out of the teen’s mouth.

”What do you want, Marcus? Because frankly, I don’t want to hear it”. “Hey can we talk outside? Please? I just don’t want your mom to hear, if that’s ok?” “Yeah cuz she hasn’t heard everything already about us! But, whatever. I guess we can talk”, Ginny glared at him. “Look, I just wanted to say, I’m sorry. You deserve so much better and should’ve just stayed out of everything..” “Yeah you should’ve. That would’ve helped. My life would have been a lot less shitty, y’know.” “I-I know..and I told Padma about everything a-and broke things off. I mean, it was the least I could do. And I’ve also started to evaluate myself and realize, I am an awful person. Like, what the hell dude? What’s your problem?” Marcus said.

Ginny looked at him surprised, “He actually went and acknowledged his mistakes? Huh, things are certainly changing for both him and I”, “I.. that’s.. I’m really proud of you Marcus. And yeah, you are an asshole, but I’m glad you took the time to realize that. Especially after all the things you went through.``''And I know that doesn't excuse what I did. Someone’s past or whatever they're going through doesn’t excuse them for doing something wrong, but thanks Ginny. I’m not asking for you to forgive me for what I did, I just want you to know that I am truly sorry. Also I’m seeing someone! I forgot their name, but they work with Abby’s Dad, I think. And after this, I’ll stay out of your way so I don’t hurt you or anyone else.” Marcus said, turning to leave.

Ginny gasped, “He’s truly pouring his heart out! He is sorry! Do I want to lose him? Cus I really don’t think I do” Her thoughts swirled in her head. “Marcus, I-I don’t know what to say. You’re right. But, I think that since you’ve taken the time to talk to someone and help you evaluate yourself, you know better than to play with people’s hearts. A-and I don’t want to lose you because you’re more than just hot. Y-you’re nice, introspective, and caring. I don't think I’m ever going to find someone who’s impacted my life like you. I-think I forgive you,” Ginny choked out, crying. “Wow..Seriously! Well, thanks Ginny! Is it okay if I hug you?” Marcus said, surprised. “Seriously. And yes! !”Ginny laughed. “Okay!” He said, wrapping his arms around her. After a minute had passed, Marcus took that as his cue to leave. “Well, I should go,” He said walking to her door. “Yeah. I’ll see you later, creep”. He smiled and left. And Ginny, for the first time in a while, felt relieved.

The next day, Ginny walked to the cafeteria hoping that her friends wouldn’t loathe her entirely. She planned on apologizing to them today for all that happened, especially to Hunter. She was about 5 feet away from the door and saw Marcus on the floor with his head buried in his arms. “Marcus? Are you okay?” She asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Marcus had not had a good day so far. For one thing, Max was still mad at him, his head was screaming, he couldn’t stop thinking about his best friend, and he failed an english test. And his secret almost got revealed when he dropped all of his stuff on the floor trying to get into his locker. So yeah, you could say today was a shit day. So, when he went into the lunchroom and noticed all the people, he turned around back into the hall. For the second time in 12 hours he started to cry. And when Ginny asked him what was up, his head felt fuzzy and couldn’t say anything.

Ginny looked at him in concern waiting for him to answer. He looked up and she noticed his eyes were all red and puffy from crying, “I-I’m sow-sorry. I’m not supposed to... “Supposed to what?” “Be small!” He sobbed, hiding his face. “Aw buddy, it’s okay! But, can you explain? I don’t understand?”

He took a deep breath and began to explain, “So, ever since my y’know accident, my brain goes to this space where it’s kind of like I’m a little kid? Y’know? I know it’s-it’s weird. And ever since my best friend died, I feel a lot younger than I am. So, basically I’m a little kid when I have bad days or get really upset. Which explains what “being small” means, I guess”.

Ginny looked back at him processing this, and if she was being honest, it made a lot of sense. It was his way of dealing, and who was she to judge? “Well, that makes a lot of sense. And I’m guessing it helps, but why were you so upset to tell me?” “Because I was worried you were going to think I’m gross or more weird than I already am.” She chuckled, “You’re already one of the weirdest people I know Marcus. SO, there’s nothing you can do that can make you more weird to me. Now, quit crying! I’m not really in the mood for you to crash into a ditch again, y’know? Lol.” “Heh, yeah. Thanks Ginny.” “Anytime, Marcus. Now come on, the floor’s pretty gross.” She said, standing up and pulling him off the floor. “Okay, mama,” He said, feeling better than before. Ginny gushed and the 2 of them walked back into the cafeteria ready to face their friends.

[paperclipninja]

Lucifer post-ep ramble 5x01

Hi there, long time fangirl, first time Lucifan. After devouring all 4.5 seasons of this magnificent show in an impressive/alarming (all a matter of perspective) amount of time, I have very quickly found myself well and truly obsessed dedicated to all things Lucifer. And when a show grabs me like this one has, I tend to have a lot of thoughts and feelings that I can’t help but share, and so the post-ep ramble was born. It will probably contain many words, it may or may not be particularly coherent, there will definitely be over-analysing, but I thought I might indulge in re-capping the season 5 eps as I re-watch, so this is the first ramble off the rank. 

‘Really Sad Devil Guy’ (A+ ep name btw) kicks off as we’re still scrambling to pick up all our heart pieces after the season 4 finale, which is why Mr. Said Out Bitch (aka Lee Garner) being in Hell is such a cracker of an opening. Lucifer just waiting below deck on Fishizzle II (wth happened to Fishizzle I??) to greet him with his trademark ‘hello’ made me disproportionately happy, mostly because he was on my screen but also because his encounters with Mr. SOB are always great and this was no exception. Getting an insight into ‘life in Hell’, the way the characters in the Hell loops are played by Demons and Lucifer in action as the King was fab at this point in the series. And does anyone else have a visceral reaction to Lucifer stopping that bullet? I know it’s brief, I cannot explain it, it might be the command he has, the fact it’s awesome, but it makes me FEEL things. Just me? Cool.

I think what really strikes me in the way Lucifer just has to pop in on Mr. SOB upon hearing of his arrival, is the fact that he is a link to Lucifer’s life on Earth. They’ve existed in the same places there, breathed the same air, it’s a way for Lucifer to make that connection to his home more tangible. And when he realises where Mr. SOB’s hell loop has them moored, at Marina Del Ray, the way Lucifer says 'Los Angeles' with such yearning makes those heart pieces I had started cobbling back together really begin to ache. What this episode pulls off so brilliantly is the way Chloe and Lucifer remain connected despite being apart, and it’s all set up when Lucifer tells Mr. SOB, ‘You know, there's a good chance I know who's on your case. To them it's only been a few months, a blink of an eye, but here it's been much much longer’.

What’s happening ‘below deck’ in Hell (sorry...or am I?) is of course mirrored at the crime scene, where Maze is still calling Ella Ellen (never change Maze ILY) and Ella is banging on about Lucifer not responding to her DM’s and texts and it’s all so on brand and the thought of her sending Lucifer a clip of a parrot dancing to techno and him finding it funny is just too perf. Maze having Chloe’s back from the get-go and telling Ella to ‘read the room’ just shows how far this Demon has come. And of course Chloe saying that she hasn’t even really thought about Lucifer since he left...(spoiler alert: she has).

Seeing Maze and Chloe out drinking and dancing, somehow they're kinda dorky together and I love it, but it’s also really clear that they’re both leaning on each other pretty heavily and being there for one another and honestly, I love literally every combination of characters on Lucifer, you put any two together and the dynamic is 100% their own and these two are up there. It’s so weird seeing Amandiel running Lux, I big L LOVE Amenadiel but it’s just...wrong. Plus hats off to D.B. because his delivery of ‘No one sells drugs in my place...without me getting a piece of the action’, not gonna lie, I was THROWN.

So are we assuming that the number of months Lucifer has been gone = the number of times Chloe has rocked up to work with a hangover? Lol at the sunglasses but also, you do you Chloe, whatever you gotta do babe. Just like Amenadiel running Lux is like watching a slightly off AU version of the show, so is seeing Maze and Chloe as partners at work. Don’t get me wrong, Maze clearly supporting her and when they’re interrogating a lead, seeing Chloe and Maze have such a groove that they’re finishing each other's sentences and communicating without talking, I dig it. But I love that while it’s great, it still doesn’t feel right. Because that there is why this show is so clever, as an audience we crave the return to the way things were just as the characters we are watching do.

Linda being a completely OTT mum is so fab. I could write an entire essay about my Linda love. Her adamance that ‘Charlie’s special’ and Ella’s ‘every child is special in their mum’s eyes, huh?’ sums it up perfectly. Did I mention I adore Ella? I definitely get the distinct impression Ella is doing a bit of self-reflection, her comment about being drawn to the bad boys for some reason clearly foreshadowing, but also her reflecting that she deserves a good guy for once (just not this ep when there is a bad boy/potential suspect to be hooked up with). I am curious to see the ‘darkness’ Ella has alluded to in earlier seasons being explored further and feel like this is sowing the seeds and I’m also waiting for a significant Linda/Ella D&M at some point. But clearly not this point, because 'science lesson Wednesdays...I checked your schedule and that's your day off' Linda is NOT about deep and meaningfuls (or anyone who isn’t a 2 month old baby), you need to DIAL IT DOWN friend.  I love that it takes Trixie pulling some funny faces and Dan offering some sage parenting advice as he returns the self-help books (love the irony there) for Linda to begin to chill a bit.          

So Dan has gone all new age with his oils and self improvement and you know what? I love it. And then of course we have Amenadiel needing to help make the world a safer place, he just needs to make sure for Charlie ya know and ugh my ovaries. I must say, I was relieved to realise that the club life had not in fact corrupted the delightful warrior we all love after all - it’s all a ploy to catch a REAL BIG TIME drug dealer (nooooo I can feel the second hand embarrassment already...)! Amenadiel setting up the ‘drug bust’, telling the dealer, ‘looks like gooood drugs’, oh you dear sweet naïve Angel you. We of course discover that the bust is, well, a bust, because the ‘drug lord’ is actually a kid trying to offload his mum’s pain meds *insert facepalm emoii here*. But rather than ridicule or be angry, Dan is so understanding and supportive of Amenadiel and once again offers up advice and I really am so into this friendship on every level and the care and openness it models.

Meanwhile, the genius parallel between what is happening on Earth and in Hell really takes effect as Chloe and Maze go undercover (I mean, they are a glam couple lbh) to the poker game while Lucifer is at a game hosted by the same suspect in Mr. SOB’s ‘exquisite’ Hell loop. His exclamation that it’s exquisite reflects that Lucifer and Mr. SOB are not that different, that it’s the kind of place Lucifer might manifest as well, but I also feel that Lucifer could be admiring his own Kingdom’s handiwork at creating LA with such accuracy from someone’s subconscious. He allows himself to be absorbed in it, ‘City of Angels, I’ve missed you’, and I can’t help but get the impression that hearing Lucifer call LA this for the first time is confirmation that his Heaven, or place of Angels, is in fact there with Chloe.

Chloe remains firmly in the forefront of Lucifer’s mind this entire episode, with him asking ‘what would she do?’ and wanting to replicate the life he had with her at the precinct. But of course he is soon reminded of his reality, as he tries to get more information from Mr. SOB who is being useless. Lucifer incorrectly calling him ’Detective’ shatters the illusion that he is any closer to Chloe, and this is impressively emphasised as he erases the LA cityscape to reveal the Hellscape. For a moment he’d let himself believe he was back there. Back home. His, ‘you’re not her’ making some of my heart pieces fall out once again.

But then the messenger arrives, ‘Lord Morningstar, there’s someone you should meet’ and lo and behold it’s guy who just got hit by car up on the Earth-side of this investigation and I.am. loving. it. Also, did Lucifer put out a Hell-wide memo that if ANYONE arrives from LA they are to be bought to him so he can send messages to Chloe through their bodies??? NO REALLY I'M FINE. Having a Demon possess the dead dude’s body to pass on the tip from Lucifer was just TOO MUCH. His, ‘hey is that Mazikeen?’ made me actually lol but also, look how far we’ve come! Chloe doesn’t even flinch when the dead guy wakes up possessed to pass on Lucifer’s message. I’m so proud. 

'It's safe where you stored it' caused me way more amusement than was perhaps intended, but Ella, Maze and Chloe together, trying to figure out what it meant, it's such a great moment and the comedic timing is gold. Also, the fact it actually helps the case, ugh, Chloe and Lucifer are still connected and working together even though they are not on the same plane of existence and I’m just going to need to curl up for a minute because feelings.

You know who else is having a lot of feelings in this ep? The Devil himself. After he is satisfied he has passed on the message, he’s done with Mr. SOB, sending him, ‘back to your torture. And me to mine’. Any remnants of my heart are now once again shattered all over the floor in case you’re wondering. Lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the fact that being away from Chloe is so painful, almost revealing more than he ever usually would when Mr. SOB asks if she’s ‘somebody important?' to which he replies, 'more than you could ever know'. 

He only just stops himself before telling Mr. SOB her name, when he realises he's trying to manipulate him. And I'm so glad, Lucifer so sparingly uses Chloe’s name, it's always significant when he does and I feel like he reserves those moments for only between them. But Mr. SOB really does sum it up when he observes, ‘you just seem like a really sad Devil guy’, BECAUSE HE IS A REALLY SAD DEVIL GUY (can we just take a moment to appreciate how not at all scared of Lucifer Mr. SOB is, he doesn’t even refer to him as THE Devil, just ‘Devil guy’. It’s kind of nice that he sees and accepts him as both Devil and human without really questioning it). 

The parallel continues as Chloe and Lucifer are talking to a sister and brother  and the way this highlights the place they're both in. It's just brilliant writing and execution. Chloe is talking to Meg about her brother’s death and both her and Lucifer's yearning for one another is palpable. At the same time, Maze telling Chloe that they don’t need Lucifer and kissing Chloe highlights Maze’s desire for connection and love. She wants it so badly and the way she shuts down when Chloe suggests they stop working together breaks my heart.

When Lucifer takes Mr. SOB to the root of his Hell loop, yes, it’s about Lucifer projecting his own guilt and lack of self worth onto him, but his assertion that, 'it is inevitable sooner or later you're going to disappoint them all over again. So you'd rather stay away for all eternity’, really feels as though it carries multiple meanings. As a self-referential comment, is Lucifer talking about Heaven or Earth? Is it his fear of disappointing and letting down Chloe and the other humans or is it his belief that he disappointed his family? And if Angels self-actualise does that mean he was never 'stuck' in Hell at all and could have returned to Heaven? I certainly feel there is some sort of realisation occurring here. Or could be completely over-analysing it. Why not have both 🤷‍♀️

You know the line that just up and got me though? ‘Whose hell is this anyway? Are you sure this is my hell? You just here torturing yourself’- Mr. SOB calling Lucifer out is A MOMENT. And I can’t help but wonder if a part of it is Lucifer wanting Mr. SOB to come to terms with his own guilt, wanting to help him because he knows he’s not evil and he is trying to reconcile his own guilt too. If he can help Mr. SOB face and let go of the guilt then he has a chance of it too. And that’s when Mr. SOB challenges Lucifer, pointing out that he missed his chance, ‘but what about you?’ 'The self-centred simplicity of you humans never ceases to amaze me...I am here out of responsibility, I had to protect humanity, I had to protect HER', the delivery of this line, the frustration of being misunderstood, of ppl thinking that he acts for himself when his very reason for being back in Hell is for others, I can feel it through the screen.

The dead guy we saw get shot in the kitchen appearing at that moment with news about ‘the Detective’ and then cutting straight back to the shoot up in the house, file under: how to brilliantly edit. “Lucifer” appearing; the whistle, the casually strolling in, the ‘hello bad guys’ = I was FOOLED. I mean you have to admit, the ‘thought I'd give you a hand' pun was well played, classic Lucifer, very convincing.  My shipper heart was SO FULL for the split second Lucifer and the Detective kissed, until Chloe realised that something was off and her open eyes told us something was up. The cut back to Hell and seeing Lucifer still standing there with Mr. SOB...you may have heard my ‘noooooooo’ from wherever you are. ‘She’ll be just fine without me’...said every Devil who has a dick twin brother who’s going to try and destroy, nay STEAL, his life and love of his life ever.

Michael, you're an evil bastard but damn you nailed that villainous smirk over-the-shoulder pose in the final shot. Whatever you have in store, I will no doubt revel in your awfulness and be confused about whether or not I hate you. 

[lovelyshawnn]

Nervous: CEO!Reader x Intern! Shawn (Part 5)

part 4

“Mrs. Y/L/N, you have a visitor.”

Our movements halted and our eyes widened, staring at each other before I hopped off his lap and frantically adjusted my clothing and hair. Shawn scurried around the room to pick up his discared shirt and throw it on. Once both of us were fully clothed, I sat on the chair at a distance from Shawn to not raise suspicion.

“Come in!” I called out.

Arlene stepped in, with Harry Styles trailing right behind her with his signature smile. My face broke out in a smile, “Harry! Its nice to see you again, what brings you here today?”

I stood from my chair to walk into his arms and accepting his hug. Shawn felt his heart drop. He truly dispised Harry. It wasn’t because Harry did anything wrong, it was just because Harry was everything that Shawn wasn’t. And that nearly killed him.

“Was in the neighborhood, thought I’d visit. ‘M sorry bout not givin’ yeh a warning. Still have to talk about that collaboration, don’t we?”

“Don’t worry about it, you’re always welcome here Mr. Styles, here take a seat,” I said, gesturing to the seat across my desk.

“I was just leaving,” Shawn said awkwardly, avoiding contact with the both of us.

“Yeah, su-“ I started to say, but was cut off when I saw the big fat purple bruise on his neck. “Wait!” I called out, but he was already out the door. He couldn’t stand being in a room with me and Harry and watching me fawn over his dreamy eyes, so he bolted as soon as he could, leaving me in a confused and panicking state.

“Everything okay?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” I nodded and continued with the meeting, praying that no one would see Shawn walk out of my office with that dark love bite on his neck.

Outside of my room, Shawn was fuming. His jaw was clenched and his eyes locked. While I sat in my office, completely unaware.

My mind was racing. I fidgetted wth the rings on my fingers nervously as I kept wondering if anyone in the office has seen Shawn’s hickeys yet. I tried to focus on Harry’s deep voice speaking, but it was getting harder and harder as I fidgetted with my hands nervously.

I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulder when Harry’s phone rang in his pocket. He pulled it out and checked the caller ID before getting up out of his seat. “I’m sorry love, I’ve got to take this. I’ll be right back.”

“No problem!” I said, a little bit too eager as I impatiently waited for him to leave my office before jumping right out of my seat and went out to search for Shawn. I scurried out of my office and down the hall, where I found Shawn havig a drink by the water cooler. I shoved him into a secluded area of the office where no one else could see us.

“Are you crazy?” I whisper-yelled, “Hide your hickey!”

“Oh, scared your little boyfriend might see?” Shawn replied back while adjusting the collar to his light blue button up shirt. “What are you talking about?”

Before I could even get a reply, Shawn walked right out of the breakroom and left me standing there dumbfoundedly. I huffed, clearly aggrivated before i adjusted my tight pencil skirt and made my way back to my office before any suspicions arised.

Soon after, Harry came back in. “Hey darling,” Harry spoke in his deep and smooth voice, “I’ve got a bit of a problem and I need to get back to the office.”

I frowned visibly at his words until he continued, “But this was truly great, and I’d love to do it again.” I smiled before we exchanged numbers and promised to see each other again. I walked with him towards the elevator and noticed how the whole office was quiet, watching us eagerly as if we were going to kiss or something. Shawn noticed this too, which is why his eyes rolled to the back of his skull. After a friendly hug and farewell, I went back into my office which I wouldn’t leave for the majority of the day.

During a coffee break, I slipped a small post it note onto Shawn’s desk, telling him to stay past closing. Once everyone went home and the coast was clear, Shawn gently knocked on my office door before letting myself in.

“So are you going to explain what all that was about earlier?” I pressed him while leaning on my desk.

He scoffed, “Oh, please. You were all over him.”

Taken back from his attitude, I retaliated angrily. “Shawn. He’s.... no one, I barely even met the guy.”

“That doesn’t stop you from flirting with googling heart eyes now does it?” He responded. My eyes widened, “I cannot believe how difficult you are being richt now! You can’t be serious!”

“Oh, I’m the difficult one? You’re the one who is too ashamed to let anyone know you’re with me!”

My heart stopped. Suddenly I wasn’t as angry as before. I felt terrible for putting Shawn in this position. I sighed, “Baby...I’m sorry.”

I reached out for his hand, in which he pulled back and turned away from me all together. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed as he sat down on the couch in my office. I made my way over to him, cautiously sitting down on his lap. Even though he was still angry, he couldn’t resist the physical affection from me. “How bout this... theres an event coming up this weekend. I want you to come with me. As a date.”

I was talking about the annual charity auction held by one of our business partners every year. It was a fun thing that everyone in the office looked forward too, and were welcome to bring their dates. It was a time to get dolled up and show off your arm candy. Which was something I never really had all the previous years. Shawn would be my first.

Shawn’s eyes slowly lifted from its gaze on the floor, meeting my eyes. His lips turned upwards slightly, “You want me as your date?” His surprise made my heart yearn for him.

“Of course I do,” I replied.

He smiled before wrapping his arms around my body and burying his face in the crook of my neck. “Come on, you’re coming home with me tonight.”

a/n

Part 6 is coming yall! sorry this took so long ):

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@onemorekissisallittakes @kindadefinitely-fucked @hollandechart @imfreefallinall @ashwarren32 @nevermindmisha @winterparker @kinglyhemmings @unhealthyobsessionwithmarvel @alinashawn @peruvian-bae

[sawadeekaze]

꒰ 🌸 welcome, baby stae”♡ᵎ꒱ˀˀ ↷ ⋯

       ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ you are now part of kaze’s cradle, enjoy! ⋆* 🍭 ⁺⑅

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˚₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ꒰ ⌨︎ ✰ kaze ⁱˢ ᵗʸᵖⁱⁿᵍ··· ꒱ | ೃ࿔₊•

happy monthsary!

It’s been one month since we’ve been together, thirty one days since we became officially together. I’m really happy and excited while typing this down and my eyes are teary right now no joke :< I still can’t believe that the most beautiful and amazing person is mine. Time really flies so fast ‘no? we’ve been loving each other for one month already excluding the courtship days.

Baby this will be really long because I have lots to say, so I’m sorry in advance but you still have to read them hmp! so first of all I really wanted to say that I’m thankful to have you. I really thank the universe for letting me meet you and letting us exist at the same time. I am also thankful for your parents because they created wonderful person like you, even though I haven’t met them I’m sure they are nice and amazing and you are the fruit of it. aaaaa I can’t express with words how much I’m thankful and wanted to be with you eternally, I wanna be your wife :(( being with you feels like when you see the sun in the morning, no clouds, just bright and shiny, you know it’s gonna be a good day right? that’s how I always feel when I’m with you.

You also taught me what the real love should be, we aren’t too young to know what it is, we experienced a lot and I know this is genuine and real. At first I was really amazed that oh this is how healthy relationship works? Tbvh, I’m not aware that I’m capable of loving someone like this, I didn’t know love was supposed to be like this, I didn’t know that constant reassurance is just a bare necessities in relationship. I thought before na when I’m asking for assurance or attention I was asking so much na ayun pala I was just asking the wrong person. Wth so this is how it feels to be treated right? I was just shocked at first I feel like I’m a foreign tuloy. But you know what I find amazing, it is when I realized that this is my first time that I entered a relationship with no regrets and all, that’s when I’m sure when I answered you a “yes” I wasn’t impulsive. I said yes because I love you. Pumasok ako sa relasyon natin because alam ko sa sarili kong mahal na mahal kita and I will make this love stay forever.

So eto nga, I’m sorry if ever I gave you worries before. That time when you were really eager to fix everything kasi ayaw mo lumayo loob ko sayo and such I cried sobra kasi napapaisip ako sa sarili ko deserve ba kita? alam mo yon ang bago kasi nung feeling to me na you were really trying your best for us then it hit me na ako rin dapat, I should do my best for us, I will do everything para maging deserving ako sayo. I won’t let my anxiety or my overthinking ruin our relationship. Ang sarap lang sa pakiramdam non na kahit ano mangyari you still assure me you’re the best person I swear. Naiiyak na ako ampota naman HAHAHAHA. Pero ayun nga, thankful ako sa what you can give sa relationship natin pero don’t ever think na dahil doon kaya kita minahal because honestly, I ask myself sometimes why am I so inlove with you but then I cannot answer. I can’t find or enumerate any reasons why I do love you. I can’t explain what I always feel when we’re talking or when I hear your voice, I just know that you feel like home. I love you from the bottom of my hypothalamus HAHAHAHAHA

if ever you are getting tired of loving me or no— scratch that I know your love to me isn’t that mababaw but when you get tired in our relationship, pahinga lang ha? always remember how did we start and how you love me that time and how much I love you.

The moon is always there even when we can’t see it during day

and as the moon begins to unravel and brighten the night,

that’s when my love for you arises more than ever.

at night you belong to constellations— beautiful and bright

And I, will seek you amongst the stars

yes sure, I am no tinkerbell, I have no wings to reach you

but my space dust will whisper to the infinity of space and universe “my love, the moon is beautiful tonight isn’t it?”

day 1 — you had me at sino ka ba HAHAHAHAHA

anyway, I just want to let you know that you’re my person and you will always be. You are the calm in the center of the chaos.

did I mention that you’re my home? am I being redundant already? but honestly, I realized that home isn’t about four walls by f(x) jk!! I realized that home is where our hearts are connected and most feel at ease.

Happy one month again to us, best baby! I love you. Mahal na mahal kita. See you soon <33

╭────────────

╰─➛✎﹏ | you have reached the end of surprise ! .°• ੈ♡��˚•. please always remember that kaze and nichole loves you!

^ me massaging your legs hehe.

[j-hoseok94]

Book:House of Cards

Author:ReyRey

01•02•03•04

Four

The question rolled off his tongue a little too easily as I stood stunned and not knowing exactly what to say, I just looked up at his cute little bunny smile. "Uhh.. well..T-This weekend?" I looked down almost not wanting to say yes but also not wanting to lose the chance to find out what he was asking exactly. He kept his eyes on me and i wish that he wasn't so close to me so I could think. I didn't really have anything to do but i had to make it look like i was a busy girl. I chewed on my bottom lip over thinking what he was asking. "Um i'm actually not busy this weekend. Why do you ask?"

His smile growing as he heard what I said. "So what you're saying is you're free?" I nodded as he rubbed his thumb along his bottom lip. I couldn't help but look at his bottom lip looking slightly puffy and as pink as a cherry blossom tree in the middle of spring. They looked irresistible and I knew he was rubbing his thumb there on purpose just so it would draw my attention there.

He chuckled and let his hand fall to his side as he continued to stare. "That's actually great cause Jimin is throwing a party on Saturday and you are now my plus one princess."

My mouth dropped open,"I-I.." Honestly i was at a loss for words, here I was a very shy awkward girl who really only had one friend, and here he was one of the most popular guys in our school asking me to a party. "Great so I'll let you know what time it starts and where it's at. See you on Saturday princess."He pushed a strand from my face and tucked it behind my ear. His touch gentle but intentional, i couldn't breathe and was still in shock as I watched him walk away.

'What the actual fuck just happened?' I asked myself as I started walking home. Soon enough my best friend was there waking next to me. I was still in my thoughts not even really noticing him talking to me about his day. As I pulled myself out of my very puzzled thoughts i listened to what he was saying,"You wouldn't even believe my day Rose! My crush she lent me a pencil! Oh god why is she so freaking pretty i can't even form words, i'm too shy. Rose! Rose? Are you even listening to me?"

I laughed, he acted like such a girl sometimes well to be honest he was only that way around me cause we grew up together and I rubbed off on him. He used to be so serious and he tries too hard, but he is super sweet and whoever ends up with him would be lucky to have him. He's a big teddy bear and way too shy for his own good. I've tried to break him out of his little shell he's formed over the years from the constant rejection, but nothing I do really works. I mean shit ladies he's not ugly and he's always working out so his body was always in tip top shape. Though he is a huge nerd and a dork so i guess why some girls are like ehh. Still he was adorable in his own way.

"I'm listening chipmunk calm down you're acting like a female." He pouted at me calling him a chipmunk but he let it go.

Deepening his voice on purpose,"I'm not a female i'm a man." I died of laughter having to stop in my tracks and hunch over strands of my hair falling forward. "Aw man you're hilarious. How could you even say that when you were practically squealing over a girl lending you a pencil?" I scrunch my eyebrows at him and continued walking wiping the tears that came to my eyes from laughing so hard.He punched my arm,"Hey! Don't be mean." I wrapped my arm around his shoulder, "Oh chipmunk you're adorable sometimes." I giggled as we walked the rest of the way to my house.

~

It was late, maybe around 10 pm i glanced at my passed out best friend he was sprawled across my couch. His long bangs covering one of his eyes as he lightly snored. It was adorable and he looked like a little kid when he was knocked out like this. I grabbed my fluffy blue blanket gently placing it over my best friend as I pushed his bangs from his face, he shifted, I froze fearing that i woke him up but after a moment he resumed his light snoring. I let out my held breath "Pheww that was close.." I tiptoed to my room and climbed into my soft bed making sure to place my phone on it's charger.

BZZ..

I groaned 'I was just getting comfy' I rolled over grabbing my phone and unlocking the screen.

JUNGKOOK:

I'm excited for Saturday princess i hope you are to 😉

I did a double take as i realized it was Jungkook texting me..and it was 10 at night why was he messaging me so late.

ROSE:

WTH it's freaking 10 at night why are you messaging me so late? How did you even get my number?

BZZ..

JUNGKOOK:

It's not that hard for a person like me to get your number sweetheart.

I grew annoyed with his pet names they made me cringe.

ROSE:

Stop calling me weird names creeper. Anyways i never actually said i would go with you soo..

I smirked at my response trying to unleash some of my smart ass qualities ..it wasn't working.

BZZ..

JUNGKOOK:

Aww princess it was never an option. I'm Jungkook i always get what i want and right now i want you. You'll soon realize how you truly feel for me.

I read the text slightly disturbed 'What the hell was he thinking i didn't like him like that, i mean yeah he's hot but i would never date him. How would he 'make me' like what was he gonna do, kidnap me?' i paused at my thoughts as they turned dark. i shook my head 'no he was a creep but he wouldn't stoop that low.'

I decided to leave the conversation at that not wanting to waste time on him. I laid down letting my eyelids close as I drifted to sleep wanting this week to be done with.

~

It was Friday finally and that meant the party was tomorrow. I was actually nervous i had never been to a party let alone invited to one and here one of the biggest fuckboys in school was pretty much making me go. I closed my locker swiftly and locked it as i was about to turn around i heard footsteps stop behind me. I didn't want to turn around what if it was Yoongi he was avoiding me like the plague ever since he lost his temper in the hallway. I took a deep breath,"Why hello Princess how's your day going?" I stifled a groan. Jungkook. I turned around, fast to respond in a smart ass way, but as I turned I was met with three other guys standing around Jungkook. I froze, my mouth agape like an idiot. "What's wrong Rose? Finally have nothing to say back?" I scowled at him clutching my books so tight to my chest causing my boobs to be smashed closer to me. He looked down at my actions, eyebrows raising a small grin forming on his face.

"Don't even think about it!" i scolded him,"What do you want Jungkook?"

"I already told you princess i want you" I rolled my eyes at him ignoring his comment.

"Are you not gonna introduce us to your friend here Kookie?" a very tall angelic man said nudging Jungkook with his elbow. Kookie rolled his eyes now with a scoff,"Sure Taehyung you can meet Rose." The tall guy reached out his hand his half blonde half pink hair looking intentionally messy which only added to angelic features his contacts making him have blue eyes made me melt a little. I smiled weakly up towards him extending my hand out to meet his. He had such big hands but they were soft as fuck. "I'm Taehyung but you can call me Tae. It's nice to finally put a pretty face to the name." He smiled a cute ass boxy smile and I couldn't help but feel a little more relaxed. I giggled maybe a little too much,"Nice to meet you Tae."

Jungkook looking a little irritated,"Well i mind as well introduce everyone then. Hoseok, Jimin this is Rose." I shifted my attention to the other guys standing beside kookie. Hoseok had brown hair and brown eyes, taller than me, but to be fair everyone was taller than me. His smile was like a ray of sunshine as he waved to me. "Hiiiii Rose, You can call me Hobi." I smiled politely and waved back.

Jimin ,who was a few inches taller than me, had purplish grey hair and he had some grey contacts on which complimented his hair. He looked at me sideways checking me out head to toe. "Great choice for your plus one Jungkook. Don't break her alright." He patted Kookie's shoulder and turned to walk away not even giving me another glance. Jungkook looked over his shoulder to Jimin with a chuckle,"No promises ChimChim."

I stared after Jimin wide eyed 'Break her? Wth did he think was gonna happen at this party!' I glared at Jungkook disgusted with his response. I would make him wish he could have me. "I have class I'll see you guys tomorrow at the party right? Tae and Hobi?" They looked at me, smiled and nodded,"Great bye boys." Deciding to be bold and confident for once in my life I built up the courage and I gently brushed my finger under Tae's chin, "I'll see you later handsome." Winking at him i walked right past a very wide eyed Jungkook and ran my finger across Hobi's chest, "You too Hobi."

I continued off to class turning a corner, my confidence faltering as I realized what I just did. I started shaking 'What the fuck was that? Where did that come from? I was just so damn triggered that Jungkook even thought he had a chance. I didn't mean for that to come off that way. Fuck.'

I tried my very best to forget that had even happened. For the rest of the day I stayed to myself not talking much. Last period came and Yoongi actually showed up for class plopping down next to me. He looked over at me. I had my chin resting on my hand and I was fiddling with my pencil not paying any real attention to him. "What's wrong with you? Boyfriend break up with you or something?"

I scrunch my eyebrows and let a light laugh escape my mouth. "What boyfriend? No one here wants to date me." I said in a low voice, not having enough energy to hold my tongue or hide my low self esteem.He scrunched his eyebrows at me looking almost upset at my comment but I just assumed I was over analyzing. I sighed deeply closing my eyes for a moment,"Look, I don't really wanna talk today so i don't care what you do for the project i gave my ideas so do with it what you want. Okay?" He nodded not saying anything else.

I really didn't wanna go to this stupid party tomorrow my anxiety was already high as fuck and now it was taking it's toll on my energy. If I don't go Jungkook would probably show up at my house like the creep he is and drag me out of the house. 'What would i even wear?' I didn't have any chick friends so asking for fashion advice was a no go. My best friend he had no idea about girls fashion and he had never been to a party as far as i knew so again a no. I glanced over at Yoongi who had his headphones in his ears clearly lost in his music occasionally jotting down corrections to be made to the rhythm.

He had on black little hoop type earrings, a yellow Rolling Stones t-shirt with white suspenders attached to his dark blue torn jeans, black combat boots and a black leather jacket with pins and zippers on it. He looked cute and obviously he had some sense of fashion I decided to ask him. I would probably instantly regret it but I didn't have anyone else to ask that would be honest. I nudged his elbow a little he didn't even budge. I nudged again... Nothing. 'Alright i guess i have to resort to extreme measures.' I reached up and ruffled his minty hair causing it to stick up in a weird way. He flinched and almost fell out of his chair. "What the hell!?" he looked over at me eyes blazing with anger. I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction covering my mouth with my sleeve trying to stay quiet.

"I'm sorry...You.... You weren't responding to my nudges...So I had to resort to... extreme measures." laughing in between every few words.

He scratched his head and started running his fingers through his hair trying to fix what i messed up,"What do you want?"

I cleared my throat and sat upright. "So Jungkook is making me go to this party Jimin is throwing tomorrow and i don't know what to wear honestly cause, i've never been invited to parties so I guess what I'm asking is what should i wear?" I rambled on for too long it seemed.

He just looked at me, his face expressionless. "Jungkook invited you? Ha what the hell was he thinking, inviting someone like you to Jimin's party? Well you don't have the curves for a dress and you probably don't know how to walk in heels..honestly the clothes you wear to school is unattractive so i don't see why you would even go. To top it all off you don't even have that pretty of a face. Just stay home."

As he finished his rant i was so shocked i didn't even notice the tears that had welled up in my eyes, slowly spilling over the edge. "You didn't need to be such a jerk about it Yoongi!" I grabbed my book bag and without another look back i ran out of the class not caring that it wasn't over yet. I ran blurry eyed and all to the exit not wanting to even be in the same building as him. 'Why did I ever think Min Yoongi was anything more than an asshole.' I ran my ass all the way home, not stopping until I got there.

-Yoongi-

Yoongi wasn't trying to hurt her feelings he was just so consumed with anger at Jungkook. How could he invite Rose to Jimin's party what was his end goal? Oh who was he kidding it's Kookie we all knew his end goal. Yoongi just wanted to protect her to keep her from making the same mistakes other girls did when they went with Kookie. If he had to make her hate him he was willing to go that far. He didn't understand why he was so protective of her. He just was, she was too innocent for this world and too fragile. Perfect like an untouchable statue or better yet a Goddess.

He walked aimlessly after class the memory of her crying face as she stared at him. His heart ached 'Why did she have to look so heartbroken' He hated seeing her sad let alone cry he just wanted to hold her and run his fingers through her long black hair. He suppressed his thoughts. He knew he could never be with her the way he was thinking. He kept brushing it off like it meant nothing to him. There was no way he had actual feelings for her. 'It's just sexual tension that's all, i just need to get her and then i'll be over it.' He laughed it off like what he thought was the truth. 'Now I have to go to this party and make sure Kookie behaves.' He shoved his hands in his pocket and headed home. Mentally noting that he had to get to Rose first before Kookie could get his grubby little hands on her.

'Watch yourself Kookie you're playing a dangerous game. One you're not prepared to play.'

He lowered his head at the thought, letting his Minty bangs cover his eyes as he smiled.

XX

[tacivixen]

Race & the term “White Boy”

I want to talk about a subject that is serious. This subject is racism. In the course of my life I have seen a lot of racism, from whites, blacks, etc. I grew up around quite a few people who made racist comments, and when you are young youreally don't understand the seriousness of such comments. I know I didn't. Racism is a form of hatred, and hatred is a learned behavior. None of us are born naturally hating another person. Children learn hatred by watching other people say negative things, or see them do things that are wrong, which is very unfortunate. I am in prison, as was indicated in prior posts. I have been incarcerated since November 10, 1993. In that time I have heard a lot of racist comments by inmates and emloyees, both black and white. All of the comments did not originate from a member of one race. Both sides are at fault, which is sad, because every white or black person does not share those same racist views. To hate a person, or feel they are a lesser human being, based solely on their race is blatant arrogance and willful stupidity. Period. Plain and simple. I recently had a conversation, if you would call it that, with another inmate, a black guy, on my range. He is a racist, which is obvious by the stupid things he says, regarding his black power, anti-white, fuck all white people comments. Racial slurs are offensive, obviously, as their use is to offend others. What one person may not feel is a racial slur another will feel it is and will find it offensive.  That was the very subject I had a conversation with that other inmate about after I heard him use the term "white boy" about a white guy he saw on TV. I find that term to be offensive, because it absolutely is, and I asked him why he was making a racist comment like that. He said it isn't a racist comment, but it's racist for someone to use the term "black boy" when talking about a black guy. Give me a break. He is wrong, because both terms are racial slurs and are offensive. The term "white boy" is even defined as a derogatory in the Urban Dictionary, which further substantiates what I'm saying. Then, as if his arrogance up to that point wasn't enough, his willfully ignorant ass said my ancestors oppressed his, etc. That was interesting and it made me laugh. Why? I'll gladly explain. I am adopted and do not know my complete heritage. But, I did meet my birth mother and she told me that my heritage is Irish, Scottish, Jewish, and Native American. Native Americans were definitely fucked over by this country. My birth mother also told me that two of our female ancestors were in a Nazi concentration camp. One survived and the other died in a mass execution. There were Irish immigrants called the N-word by non-Irish whites. Many poor whites were also called the N-word. White indentured servants were sent to this country to be used to build things, etc., versus being in prison in England or to work off money they owed. They were treated very poorly also. I don't know anything about my biological father (sperm donor), other than my birth mother said he raped her & that he lived in the same county as I grew up in. She was seeing/dating him, but told him now when he wanted to have sex, and he apparently didn't like her response. I don't like racism at all. There is no logical reason, at all, to dislike or hate someone based on their race, because none of us has any control over who we are when we are born. We, every single one of us, have a responsibility to each other to stand up against racism & other prejudice, and to lead by example by not allowing such hatred to control any aspect of our lives. The human race is diverse& that is what makes each of us unique and interesting. I see racism and prejudice almost every single day in some way, either in person or on TV, and that is very unfortunate. It makes me sad. There is enough unpleasant shit in the world already without having to deal with those things too. Whether it's someone making racist comments, or making anti-LGBTQ comments (which I also find offensive, as I identify as transgender), both are wrong, and when people make such hateful, derogatory comments they are setting bad examples for others who see it, especially for children and young adults, because we don't want, or need, that negativity to continue with them. We must rise above such arrogance and be positive role models and examples for others, especially for the younger generations that follow us. It would be very easy for me to refer to every black guy on TV as a black goy so that other inmate would hear me, but that would be wrong, and doing so would only serve to fuel his existing hatred for white people.  But, I won't do that. Not just because that is not the kind of person I am, but I will not allow myself to be a vessel of hatred and contribute to the problem. I once did that back in 2001, not out of malice. I did it for the purpose of conducting a social experiment, so to speak. A black guy in his early 20s, who was a gang member, would frequently call white guys "white boys," so I referred to some black guys on TV as black boys. He asked me why I said that, because he said it was racist. I asked him if he gave any thought to how I felt hearing him use the term "white boy" was inappropriate and racist. This was in the early part of 2001. He said he didn't even think about that. I told him that he couldn't call a white guy a white boy and think it was okay, then him be offended when a white guy used the term black boy when talking about a black guy.  I told him he couldn't have it both ways, using a racial slur toward white guys and then be offended when someone used a similar term about a black guy. He saw the logic in what I said and stopped using the term for about a month, then slipped off into using it again. What I said made him stop and think about how he spoke about other races, and that was good. At least he made an effort to try to change, because many don't even try to do that. I make that statement about every race, because every race has racial slurs/terms for every other race. I'm sure that there are some who won't agree with me for doing that. But, sometimes you have to say something like that for the other person to see things from your perspective when they are saying or doing something that is offensive or wrong. You have to push one of their buttons, so to speak, so they will open their eyes. My point for saying all of that is this. The way some words affect a person is very much like art, film, or music. It is subjective. What one person likes another won't. Likewise, what one person finds offensive another may not, regarding comments about a person's race, etc. But&this is important to keep in mind, a person's race is not subjective. We cannot change our heritage, because we are not a piece of artwork to be looked upon & judged, but are each unique & have feelings & want to be, deserve to be, treated with respect, regardless of gender, race, sexuality, gender identity, age, etc. Our differences and diverse heritage and backgrounds is what makes us interesting. I would not want to live in a world where everyone is the same, because that would be a much less interesting world to live in. We need to be a positive inspiration to others, to let them know they are loved, and not be an example of hate and negativity. Our race, our heritage, is but one facet of who we are as individuals. Each of us is more than our race, our mistakes, or whatever people mainly know someone for. That is a simple fact. We need to embrace the differences each of us has and be respectful, because each of us can teach someone something, but we can also learn something from each person we meet. Let us be mindful of what others feel is offensive, exercise common sense, and be a good listener. Those things will help a person to not just be a good teacher, but will allow them to be a better person and a good role model. Pay it forward wth kindness, love, and respect. Taci -- October 1, 2019   

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. Have you ever bought 99 cent chicken nuggets at Wendy’s? Yeah, back when I could still eat spicy foods I used to get the spicy chicken nuggets there. They were bombbb. 2. How much would you charge to pet-sit a Chihuahua for 5 days? Oh man... I don’t like the yappiness, I’m sorry. :X I don’t know if I could do it. Especially 5 days... that’s a lot. 3. Have you ever played Bejeweled? I probably have at some point. 4. When was the last time you slipped while taking a shower? I haven’t had that issue. 5. Does your mom have a Facebook? Yep.

6. Who would you never give a kidney to? A close friend/family. <<< I’m assuming you thought this was asking who you would give a kidney to, yeah?  Anyway, I don’t know if I could give a kidney to anyone. Like, I don’t know if mine are strong enough to function with just one. I I used to get them checked once a year growing up, but not as often since I became an adult. I mean, they seem to be doing their thing. I just don’t know how my body would react with just one. So yeah, possibly no one. 7. What was the last show you watched on Nickelodeon? On TeenNick I often watch their 90s segment at night. They air Rugrats, Doug, Hey Arnold, and Rocko’s Modern Life. I only like the first 3. 8. Have you ever been bitten by a rat? Nooooo. 9. Do you feel sticky right now? ...No. 10. Why do you not wash off your makeup on some nights? I haven’t worn makeup in like a year, but anyway when I did I admit I didn’t always wash it off at the end of the day. It was just out of laziness, honestly.  11. Do you think that's healthy? I know it’s not good for the skin, ya gotta let it breathe and whatnot. 12. Then why do you do it? I was a lazy bitch. 13. Who is the most annoying person you know? Me. I get on my own damn nerves. The other night I don’t know wth was wrong with me, but I was in a really chatty mood for some reason and I was like, ‘oh my god SHUT UP’  14. What does he/she do that makes you annoyed by them? I’m just annoying. I’m moody, sensitive, whiny, clingy (when it comes to my mom), I randomly get in chatty moods, and I can’t seem to get my shit together.  15. How often do you use a film camera and develop pictures? I don’t.  16. Do you like Smiley Central? What’s that? 17. What do you like/dislike about the show, One Tree Hill? I never watched it. 18. Why do people watch that stuff? They like it? We all have our preferences. I watch other shows of that type/genre, I just never got into that one. 19. Why are headbands coming "back in style”? I didn’t know they ever really went out of style.  20. Did you wear headbands when you were younger? Sometimes. 21. How many people do you know are on vacation right now? No one that I know of. 22. Do Uncrustables look disgusting to you, or is that just me? They’re good. 23. How are people's personalities living in the north, as opposed to the south? Uhhh. 24. What has been the corniest thing you've seen/heard today? Nothing so far. 25. Do puppy dog faces work on you? When actual dogs make them. haha. My doggo knows this. 26. What do you think nudists do when they are on their period? Why are you even thinking about that. 27. Don't say tampon, what if they just did not have the ability to use one? Wtf. 28. Well...would you ever try a nudist cult for a day? Noooo. 29. How about Amish...for a month? No. 30. Describe the shirt you are wearing. It’s a powder blue Adidas hoodie. 31. Would you ever go streaking? Noooo. 32. Right now? No. I don’t like being nude if you didn’t pick up on that by now. I don’t feel comfortable and I’m waaaaaay too self-conscious. I don’t even want to look at myself. 33. When was the last time you cut your hair and fucked it up? I used to cut my own bangs back when I had them and I did an okay job.  34. When was the last time you tried to be seductive? Ha, there’s nothing seductive about me. I’m awkward af. 35. What is your favourite kind of wallpaper? I don’t have one. 36. Do you ever joke with your friend about humping? Uh, no. 37. What was the last research paper you wrote about? I don’t recall. 38. Did you ever buy those pencils with your name already printed on them? I’m sure I had some when I was a kid. 39. Did it piss you off when you couldn't find your name? I have a very common name. 40. Do you have a curvy tummy? No. 41. Doesn't internet on the cell phone suck? It works great on mine. I think you just aged yourself with this question, survey. The internet on smart phones works good. 42. When was the last time you bought cereal for the prize inside? Not since I was a kid. The prizes were always cheesy, but I did like the color changing spoons that were in some. That was cool, ha. 43. Why do some Mexicans down the street look at you and everything… Wtf. 44. How many frames are in your room? 3. 45. What was the last fight you had about? Blah. 46. Have you ever had any doctors come to your house to check up on you? For a few months last year I had an in-home nurse that came twice a week. 47. What is the weirdest thing you have done in 7th grade? Pfft, who knows.  48. Are those mice with little red balls on it hard to control? You’re an odd one, survey maker. 49. What makes you ticked, get pissed off easily? I’m an irritable, moody person and some days it can really be anything. Nagging and getting lectured about things I already know and don’t need to be reminded of/lectured to about will definitely do it. I also don’t like being told to “chill out” or “calm down.” 50. Does blueberry syrup sound good to you, right now? I’m good right now, but I do like it.