#I always forget who my writing partners are when I'm about to tag them; my brain just goes blank and is like nah you go fend for yourself

[my-timing-is-digital]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐔𝐍.

— BASICS! ♡

NAME: Parker.

PRONOUNS: She / her, but honestly, if you forget feel free to use Data’s pronouns (he / him), or just they / them. Idc.

ZODIAC SIGN: Libra.

TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single and not looking; life’s already complicated enough without having to deal with all that crap.

— THREE FACTS! ♡

I'm going to disillusion everyone by stating the following: I am Dutch. :] I’m sorry for disappointing y’all, I too wish I was born in a more exciting place, but here we are. I’m not proud of it either, hence why I am intending to flee to Canada. :3

I almost cried during one of the Jurassic World films because they had to leave the brachiosaurus behind on that island when the volcano erupted. :( If they’d just yeeted the T-Rex, and all the other terrible carnivorous dinos they could easily have fitted a brachiosaurus or two on that ship. Just sayin’.

I’m secretly Brent Spiner.

— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED: Twitter, Discord (mainly for crack), and Tumblr. I’m only writing on Tumblr these days, because Twitter got screwed over by M.sk, and I forget I have Discord 99% of the time.

PLOTTING / WINGING IT / MEMES: I prefer plotting, but winging it or memes can be fun, especially when the RP partner is equally as invested in the thread as I am and doesn’t just wait for me to take action but comes up with stuff to spice up the thread as well.

— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER: MALE. In all caps, because idk I don’t like / have never been interested in writing female characters.

MULTI OR SINGLE MUSE: Have you seen my multi? It’s virtually non-existent. I only made it so I could collect all the Soong bois and some of my favourite Star Trek people. So, I’ll go with single muse: look at Data thriving. :3

LEAST FAVOURITE FACECLAIM(S): Uh, idk, I really don’t care, although I have a slight aversion to M.rvel and DC FCs, but that’s just because I don’t like those weird ass franchises.

— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF: Meh, depends on my mood; one of the perks of writing an “emotionless” android. I don’t mind writing wholesome or soft stuff, though, but I don’t think that’s considered fluff. Idk I could be wrong.

ANGST: Yes. Whether Data has the emotion chip or not, I’ll gladly subject him to angst. >:)

SMUT: Nope. I get bored real freaking fast and simply do not enjoy writing it. You’ll not see smut on this blog, only Datababble.

Tagged by: @lettherebemonsters Tagging: @jurati, @nebulaties , @beneviolencia, @heartfledged, @ensnchekov, @cosmet, @dimensionalspades, & everyone else who’d like to do this (feel free to steal it from me!)

[diamondcitydarlin]

Just fair warning- I said on my personal post about this that I wasn't going to talk about Neil Gaiman anymore, but as it's becoming clear that him and his publishers and anyone else who makes money off of him is circling the wagons and trying to bury these allegations, as well as some fans still defending and trying to 'rationalize' this information, I feel like, actually, we need to keep talking about him (as much as I cannot stand him and feel physically disgusted now when I so much as see his face somewhere). Specifically, the fact that he's a liar, master manipulator and should not, under any circumstances, be given access to his fans like he has in the past. At the very least. (And if you need to blacklist his name or even unfollow me so as to not be triggered, I completely understand, but I will always try to tag these posts accordingly and I think it's crucial right now that the truth be put where people can see)

This post specifically is in response to those 'rationalizations' I've seen, some that have gone as far as to blame the young fans/groupies that hooked up with him for being 'golddiggers' or just making a mountain out of a molehill for something they now regret. It's not that simple, yall. (And, again, this requires some amount of completely ignoring the story about him extorting his tenant for sex under threat of eviction of her and her three young children, I'm not sure how you 'rationalize' that under the best of circumstances)

So let's be clear here. What we know is that NG has routinely, for possibly an upwards of 30 years, pulled sexual 'partners' from his fan groups, most of whom are 18-22 year old young women (though possibly younger, accounts are coming forward of 16 year olds having allegedly been inappropriately touched/flirted/propositioned by him, which ig is the age of consent in the UK but still?? 16 year olds!!). This wasn't one or two times in the course of three decades, this was a constant pattern of behavior for him and for a very insidious reason.

This isn't to try to infantilize those fans or young women/young people in general or try to suggest that they couldn't have consented to sex with an older person or famous person. In fact, the onus isn't on them at all. This is about an older guy with a lot of fame, power and wealth choosing to sleep with people that he had already conditioned to idolize him and using that power imbalance to coerce them into doing things they didn't want to.

Regardless of one's age or gender identity, it can be difficult to impossible to say 'no' to someone like that. After all, you've been 'chosen' by the chosen one, you're special and not like everyone else, and if you don't do what the popular person everyone trusts is telling you to do you could end up ostracized. Alienated. Or worse. And you know what? Gaiman knew that! He knew it when he was crafting his 'approachable dad' persona on tumblr. He knew it when he was cultivating a fandom of personality. He knew it when he was having huge meetups to try to ensnare more victims. I hate to even think it, but I'm starting to believe he knew it when he was writing children's books too.

It's been talked about again and again in separate issues, but needless to say something not being strictly illegal does not make it inherently, morally okay. It does not erase the fact that this man has been essentially grooming his fandom to feel safe meeting/speaking with him so he can coerce those he can snare into sexual acts they're not comfortable with. That is predator behavior, whether strictly 'illegal' in the eyes of a court or not (but ofc I think he should be criminally punished even if I'm not naive enough to think he actually will be, because this IS rape and rape should be criminally punished)

I'm not personally advocating for anyone to give up being in his related fandoms, but what I am personally advocating for is that people don't forget who he is and what he's capable of, especially when he tries to crawl back to where he was (I'm almost certain he will eventually, as I've said).

Again, at the very least, we need to use what little influence we do have to keep him from infiltrating fan spaces again. He should not be on tumblr yukking it up with young people, he should not be at public appearances hitting on teenagers, he should not be given the unrestricted access to fans that he's 'enjoyed' for the past 30+ years because he is not a safe person. While I wish there was more in the way of restorative justice that could be done, I think at very, very least we should do what we can to limit his proximity to people he could hurt in the future. Make sure no one forgets, because sweeping this under the rug means Gaiman gets to hurt more people.

Lastly, no one is the wrong for having been manipulated by him. Let's make that very clear. What we're NOT gonna do is blame ourselves, each other, the victims, etc, for evil acts that Gaiman chose to do himself, time and time and time again. It doesn't help the situation and it certainly doesn't protect future potential victims. We were all duped because we're human and we attach and a lot of us want to believe there are good people out there, particularly those who make art that means so much to us.

And there are. But let's also use this a teaching/learning tool about how much faith we place in famous people in the future, regardless of how 'approachable' and 'safe' they might seem. Let's remember to have a healthy suspicion of creators/famous people that are oddly immersed in fandom spaces- yes, even the ones you still currently like that seem fine, as difficult as that may seem.

At the end of the day, we don't know them or what they're capable of doing or what they might be plotting to do to us. Support victims. Amplify their voices. Don't forget.

[russellsppttemplates]

Time off the track (Lance Stroll)

Lance and Y/N enjoy having a long weekend off

Note: english is not my first language. I get all fluttery when I write these pieces! Had some trouble finding friends names (they're very private, and I respect that) so I just made up my own.

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions pregnancy

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Sweetheart", Lance called from his spot on the sofa once he heard you arrive back home from work. "In a minute, just need to take these things off my feet", he heard you chuckle before the small creek from the cabinet where you stored your shoes.

"I'm here!", you walked inside, Lance's eyes doing his overall check-up. He didn't notice he was doing it until Henry pointed it out for him in the last race weekend you went to, but apparently the minute you showed up after being somewhere out of his sight, your husband's eyes checked you out from head to toe, looking for any signs of discomfort and then focusing on your babybump, usually bringing a smile to his lips.

"Sit here, I want a cuddle while I tell you my suggestion", he opened his arms, letting you wiggle around and into a comfortable position.

"Oh, what suggestion?", you wondered after you pecked his lips.

"The guys want to have spend the next weekend doing something fun together. It's a long weekend and it would nice spending time together", he explained, hand coming up to your bump and rubbing the skin under the cotton fabric of your shirt.

"That sounds good, actually. A weekend away that doesn't involve racing", you mumbled.

"There's actually a race, still. They want to go to Texas and watch", Lance offered, not wanting to keep you in the dark.

"What I meant was you wouldn't be racing, so we will be travelling all together and I have you to myself still", you wiggled your eyebrows, "and Texas is a really good idea, me and baby have been craving BBQ", you smirked.

"Other than seeing the race, we can just explore the area a bit, see what comes up and what people recommend we do", Lance added, "it will be good to take a few days off".

"Yes, enjoy the sun, good food, good company. Sounds good to me", you smiled sweetly, kissing his cheek and carrying on talking about each of your days.

.

The group consisted of you, Lance, Anna and her partner Michael, Mark and his wife Evie, Benjamin and Theo, arriving on time like scheduled to the airport, "how are we all feeling on this fine early morning?", Benjamin was the first to speak once you found yourselves by the gate.

"Could've done with a little bit more sleep, if I'm honest", Evie groaned into her husband's shoulder, "but otherwise very excited".

"Me too! Can't wait to feel some sun in my face", you smiled, taking off your jacket since you were feeling hot and giving everyone a show of your baby bump.

"Oh, it's so cute, Y/N! You look great!", Anna gasped, hands in front of her mouth as she got closer to you, "you're glowing!".

"And I also have these sexy things", you lifted your pants to show the compression socks the doctor recommended you wear whenever you boarded flights. You always travelled in comfy clothes, having learned over the years that any other way was simply not the way to go, so you had on a loungewear tracksuit, the flowy pants matching the equally roomy sweater.

"Doctor's orders?", she wondered and you nodded, "I already have issues as it is before getting pregnant, so it wasn't like I didn't expect it. You get used to them after a while", you said, checking to see if everyone was ready to walk to the plane once they checked your passports.

"Would you like something to drink before we take off?", the flight attendant wondered, taking orders from everyone, "could you please get us a bottle of water?", Lance asked, knowing you would forget about it.

"I was going to drink it", you teased, accepting the cup and drinking its content, "I remember what the doctor said", you smiled.

By the time you had been flying for a quarter of the expected time for the whole flight, you got up, walking along the small corridor while rubbing your bump.

"Is this a runway competition? Because we don't stand a chance when you look like that", Theo hyped you up, making you giggle as you exaggerated your walk for a few seconds before feeling your daughter kick.

"Doctor said to keep moving, since the socks can only do so much, and she's been kicking like crazy", you added, tapping the spot over your bellybutton where she seemed to kick harder.

"Hey! If she's kicking, I get privileges!", Lance called, making you stop in front of him as he places his palm where your hand was.

"Do you guys want to go get ready for the pool? I don't feel like doing much else today", Anna suggested, earning nods from everyone before you split into your rooms.

"Lance!", you called, seeing your husband come back from the balcony, "I think I need help taking these off, I can't bend properly", you blushed, not feeling strong enough to pull the socks away from your legs.

Chuckling, he bent down, kneeling on the floor so he could help you, massaging the skin and kissing your calves, "do they feel good?", he asked.

"Thank you", you groaned, wiggling your toes, "yes, it's a nice feeling, I might actually take these up after little one joins us, but they're a pain to get out", you offered, kissing his forehead and helping him get up, "let's go and enjoy the sunny day!", you cheered.

After getting ready, you met the rest of the group by the pool, the guys already in the water while the girls preferred to stay in the sun.

"Are you going us or joining them?", Michael wondered, "I'm going in the water, I've had enough of cold, gloomy days", you said, finding the steps so you could ease into the water. Taking off the cover up and throwing it to your chair, everyone's eyes travelled to your uncovered bump.

"Come here", Lance stretched his arms and beckoned you to approach him, chest and hair dripping wet since he had jumped in. Wrapping your arm around his waist, his right hand went to your bump immediately, "does he ever unlatch from your bump? Or is he always keeping his girls within arm reach distance?", Benjamin chuckled. It was all friendly banter and he was genuinely happy for his friends.

"A good mix of both", you confessed, "It's all new territory and we're going through all of this together. Besides, I've been feeling very clingy and wanting to start nesting, so I'm probably the one attached to him", you blushed.

"I want to float for a bit, your sister said that the best thing she did for her back pain when she was pregnant was relieve the pressure by being in the water", you held your husband's hand, getting ready to let yourself fall on your back.

"We're standing by here just in case you start sinking down like a nail", Mark noted with a giggle, making the boys do a circle around you and Lance as you kicked your legs up.

After a few moments of finding your balance, gravity and all things physics worked as your bump and chest rose up, poking out of the water while you floated, "Y/N! This is such a cute pick! Little one with all her uncles protecting you both!", Evie exclaimed, getting her phone and snapping a few pictures at the moment.

"Now move away, I want to snap a few of just Y/N, she looks glorious", she complimented as the boys swam away, "gorgeous, mama, absolutely gorgeous".

"It feels good", you moaned, "I feel so light weight, like, feather-light", you smiled when you saw Lance look back at you, "we can look into it when we go back home, anything to make you more comfortable, sweetheart", he said, kissing your lips before he held your ankles, moving your body as you giggled, not noticing Evie recording the video she claimed was "for when the little princess grows up and wants to know what love is". Her parents would be the best example and this one of the many moments to show it.

When you got back to the lounging chairs, carefully rubbing sun protection cream on before laying down, the boys started playing Padel in the court the house you rented had, shouts and groans heard while you and the girls got some colour on your skin.

"They're just little boys sometimes, aren't they?", Anna noted, seeing Lance and her boyfriend bicker about a foul.

"In some ways, I guess, but it's good they have eachother to spend time with, Goodness knows I won't play that", Evie sneered, "would you, Y/N?".

"What? Play Padel?", they nodded, "I've played with Lance before, with the other drivers and their partners. I'm not that great, but I'm not nearly as competitive as them, so I just play for the fun of it. Lance was kind enough to invite me out of it when he Charles were fighting for the first place in their Driver's Padel Championship", you chuckled.

.

"I love these dresses on you", Lance complimented, his hand grabbing yours and twirling you around, smiling when you faced him again and kissing your forehead.

"Thank you, my love", you added, seeing Michael return with the passes for the race, "we're all set guys, c'mon!", he nudged, handing everyone their pass before you walked to the entrance, a couple of photographers taking pictures and a group of fans asking Lance for autographs.

"That's where we will be", you pointed to the hospitality, walking in and choosing somewhere to sit. While you, Evie and Anna enjoyed this racing series, you were planning to stay on sofas while the boys were standing against the balcony railing so they could watch the race.

Throughout the weekend, you couldn't help but notice how Lance had been having so much fun with the boys, making a mental note to do these things more often when you had the opportunity.

He said something and loudly laughed, bringing your attention to him before your daughter made herself known, "it's daddy, I know", you smiled, rubbing your bump.

"She always kicks when he laughs?", Evie cooed, "My goodness, if you two don't stop being so cute, I'm next", she let out a groan.

"Yes, or when he speaks to the bump very closely. The books say she's able to recognise his voice, and it's very cute", you smiled, "although the bigger she gets, she'll soon start kicking my bladder".

"Wooo-ooh!", Lance said as you assumed the race was going well, looking back to check on you and blowing you a kiss.

.

The vineyard was truly stunning and, despite not taking part in the wine tasting for obvious reasons, you were having a great time.

"Are you also having lunch here? Our chef has done an excellent tasting menu", the young woman offered.

"We already have BBQ booked", Lance stated, "since my wife can't drink right now, we're giving her one of her pregnancy cravings. Maybe next time we visit", he nodded.

When you arrived at the restaurant, you were guided to the table, placing your things down and looking at the menu.

"Can you order for me, please? I really have to go to the bathroom", you wondered as Evie said she was going with you.

When the waiter came back, to the table, he started taking everyone's order, tapping on the iPad as they went along the table, "Can you just make sure the meat is cooked through, please? My wife is pregnant", Lance told the waiter, "absolutely, sir", before he left.

"You really get a kick out of it everytime you say she's pregnant, don't you?", his friend teased, "don't get me wrong, I think it's cute actually", Mark smiled.

"Of course I do, the woman I love is having our baby", Lance cooed, seeing you walk to the table back from the bathroom.

"And she looks incredibly gorgeous while she does it!", Anna said, "she's glowing, really. You guys are going to be such great parents, can't wait to meet the little princess".

"Neither can we, but soon enough", you smiled, accepting Lance's hand and holding it in yours, "soon enough".

[cheapshrimpysheep]

CONGRATS FOR YOUR MILESTONE!!! I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! And you're one out of the only 5 twst/om writing blogs I have notifs on for, your writing and blog aesthetic makes me so happy!!!

For a request, could you write Kalim sparring with a reader who's a good fighter? It's my personal hc that Kalim can throw a punch of two due to Jamil drilling various self defense techniques into his head. But the whole sparring thing is very lighthearted and fun, since Kalim is not really interested in fighting anyone (especially the person he has a crush on, wink wink 👀) and his fighting partner is not interested in hurting him either. Everything just turns into them being silly and getting into a tickle fight instead or something.

If it's not something in your comfort zone, that's okay! I still wanted to drop by and congratulate you for your hard work. Requests or no requests, writing is content that deserves to be praised and celebrated to thank you! Sorry for the long ask erifidnwyrkd ~ray

COMMENTS: THANK YOU! 💖 I'm always so happy when people tell me they like what I write that much. That's why I love writing this. This is where I feel most appreciated. 🥰

In fact, I am a coward. 😅 So I'm not very familiar with knowing how to fight. But still, I hope I got around it well. As you can see from the number of words, I ended up having fun writing it. I hope you and all have fun reading it too. 😉

CHARACTERS: Kalim Al-Asim x Reader

TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader

WORD COUNT: 1.150 words

CONTEXT: Jamil and Kalim used to train from time to time. One way for Jamil to guarantee that, in an emergency, where he wasn't present, Kalim would have any chance of defending himself and escaping or something like that.

But that day, due to some complication at the basketball club, Jamil couldn't train with Kalim. However, he remembers that he already saw you defending yourself against some NRC students, and thinks you might be a good replacement. And maybe, in a way, it would be an interesting idea to have Kalim fight against you, knowing that he has a crush on you.

So, he calls you and asks you for this favor, and assured you that he would somehow repay you.

You arrive in Scarabia, without Grim. He knew that in Scarabia they liked to have banquets from time to time and he loves to eat. But Jamil wasn't there to cook a feast and probably most of the food he would get is the food that Kalim likes to shove down his throat. So he decided he would be better off with just tuna in Ramshackle.

You've just walked through the front door when...

“HIIIIIIII!” Kalim greets you, while running towards you. He has the cutest smile on his face. “How was your day? Do you want to eat anything? Jamil left some really good things in the fridge.”

You tell him that you already ate some time ago, so you would be ready to train with him as soon as you arrived in Scarabia.

“Train? Train what? AH! Is there a test I forgot?!”

You say no and ask if Jamil hadn't told you what he had told you.

“Oh! That. Ha ha HA HA! Sorry, I guess I got so excited when he told me you were coming that I forgot to pay attention to the rest of the conversation. Hum... Don't tell him that, pleeease.”

You promise you won't say anything and he thanks you with an appreciative smile. You remember that Jamil had said that he had left some papers with instructions for training somewhere. When you ask Kalim about this, he doesn't know where they are, but he can guess by knowing Jamil. Or maybe Jamil only knew where to put them because he knew Kalim would forget.

You see the papers and as you would expect, they are all self-defense techniques, where you would be Kalim's aggressor. Techniques for him to defend himself from punches, knives, being grabbed by the arm, neck, etc. You didn't like the idea of even pretending to attack Kalim, but it was the instructions and it was for his own good. Right?

“Can I see the papers?” Kalim asks you when he sees the slight discomfort in your expression. You hand him the papers, he takes a look at them and smiles. “Ah, the same as always. Don't worry, this seems to be just a review. Jamil does this a lot since he says I'm very forgetful. It's okay. Nothing very difficult. You just have to pretend to attack me.” But your discomfort doesn't leave your face. “Hum? What's wrong? You're not feeling well?”

You tell him that you don't want to hurt him and that you don't really like the idea of attacking him, even if it's just pretending.

“I don't want to hurt you either. Not even Jamil, despite what he tells me to do. But we don't need to do this training like the ones I do with Jamil, right? I really hope not, otherwise I'm going to lose all the rounds.” He says with a slightly embarrassed smile. You ask why. “Because like I said, I don't want to hurt you, so I think I'll end up letting you win every time. Ha ha. AH! That's it! Why don't we play fight? Some of my siblings like to do it. We don't need to take this so seriously, we can just have fun. Right? What do you think?”

You think about it and agree. And both of you also agree that it's okay as long as Jamil doesn't get upset. Or finds out.

The "training" started normally. But it was when he got to the part of training to defend himself from knives that Kalim had an idea. He went to get one of those thick markers, took off the cap and said: “You know paintball right? The goal is not to get hit by the paint. Why don't we try to do something like that?” He hands you the marker. He removes his coat and other accessories from his torso until only his white shirt remains. “You're going to try to paint me and I have to dodge it. It'll be fun, you'll see.” he says with a big amused smile.

You ask if he doesn't think Jamil will be upset with him for ruining his shirt.

“Maybe, but don't worry, I can buy lots more where this one came from. Ha ha ha.”

He was right, that was fun. You forgot that you were training self-defence and looked more like a couple playing. At one point, Kalim managed to grab your wrist and steal your marker. And he looked at you with that rare mischievous smile of his. “My turn!”

You seemed surprised. What does he mean his turn? Weren't you the attacker? But then he looks at you and straightens up.

“Oh. You should take off your coat first. I'll get a better see if I catch you with the marker on your white shirt.” You hesitate. You don't have many shirts like that. “If I ruin the shirt I can buy you a new one, or two, or as many as you want. No problem!... Pleeease? I'm having so much fun with you!” He's making puppy eyes.

You agree and take off your coat and accessories. You continue that "training" until there comes a time when both of you have kind of given up on defending yourselves and are already covered in paint streaks on your shirts, arms and even your face. You realize you dropped the marker and can't find it.

“You lose your weapon?” Kalim says “Well, it looks like there's now only one way to find out who wins.” And he attacks you with tickles. “Surrender!”

You try to resist, but end up really surrendering. Kalim was too good at tickling. And as soon as you know it, the two of you were on the floor, practically hugging each other. He smiles affectionately at you.

“I wish you were in Scarabia. We could have fun like this every day. I could see you and be with you every day for much longer.”

Your noses were almost touching when Jamil appears and drops his training bag to make a noise that would get both of your attention. He looked bothered. “WHAT?! Why are you two-? OH, for the patience of the great seven.” he sighs.

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[forevertoru]

cafe rekindle ~ koshi sugawara x reader

synopsis: after years of living in your hometown after graduation, one last glimpse of your past was enough to motivate you to finally give yourself the fresh start you needed. a new city, a new life. with the help of the people around you, you were able to accomplish your dreams and start your very own cafe. working in your own cafe means you meet lots of people, but one familiar face was enough to make the walls you built up over the years falter. 

notes: i literally have no idea what i'm doing, this is my first time (in a while but we dont talk abt that) writing fanfic.. wish me luck. (wrote this bcuz i was listening to promise by laufey while reading angst fanfics)  

tags: angst, fluff (?), elementary school teacher, cafe owner, exes to lovers, second chance romance, slow burn, fem reader-oriented pronouns

warnings: swearing, reader smokes to deal with emotions, talks of mental health

word count: 3780

ch. 1 the end of the beginning & new beginnings

No one ever expects longevity from the relationships in our youth, in fact, it would be foolish to even expect something like that. From grade school, to high school, some would even argue college; it never becomes long term. 

You were always aware of that, so why did you see yourself getting married to the man you spent your high school and college years with?

A silly thought you planted in your brain; but who could blame you? He was the ideal partner. Patient, gentle, understanding, and so much more — even though you were still young and didn’t have much planned for adulthood, you made a vow to never let him go. 

You loved him with every single atom you had in your body, and perhaps you still do. After all, it isn’t easy to forget about a relationship you swore would’ve lasted a lifetime if it were under different circumstances. 

In all honestly, you weren’t quite sure what made you love him the way you did. Maybe it was the fact being around him just felt so.. easy. You never felt like you had to be a different person when you were with him.

To put it simply, he was the person who brought you comfort.

But even so, silly vows you make to yourself don’t really mean anything if you can’t make them a reality. Over the next few months, the happiness you thought would stay in your life forever gradually started to fade, and there was nothing you could do about it.

You know he didn't mean to fall out of love, at least that's what you wanted to believe. Not a bone in your body wanted to make him seem like a bad person, not when you still had so much love and respect for him.

Days before the breakup, you noticed he seemed a bit… different. He stopped holding your hands, stopped bringing you lunch, he couldn’t even bring himself to look you in the eyes. Yes, they were little things, yet, you still managed to notice them. 

You decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, telling yourself, “Maybe studying has him preoccupied” Trying to shake off whatever insecurity you were feeling. Looking back — maybe you should’ve asked him the first day you noticed, maybe then, things would’ve worked out.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚ 

When you felt his hand wrap around your wrist for the first time in days, guiding you to a place where the two of you could be alone and focus on the soon-to-be conversation, you knew it was the end of the relationship you tried desperately to keep in your life. 

Before he could even get a word out, you couldn’t help but notice the dryness in your throat, how your heart started to race in anticipation, and the tears in your eyes that threatened to spill.

From the look in his eyes, you could tell this was going to be the last day the two of you could call yourselves “soulmates”. 

Throughout your entire relationship, you always managed to keep your composure. You knew how to keep your emotions in check, therefore, you never cried in front of your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 

– Seeing tears in your eyes for the first time broke his heart.

 At that moment, he wanted to change his mind, take you in his arms, and promise he’d never let you feel this type of pain again. But despite the feeling he couldn't shake off, he knew deep within himself he wouldn’t be able to keep that promise. 

And before he could change his mind, the boy finally spoke.

“(name), no matter what, I’ll always have so much love for you.” The gray-haired boy started, and as he spoke, he couldn’t help but notice the look in your eyes. The way you looked at him with such hurt and confusion made it all the more difficult for him. 

“Before I say anything, you did nothing to make me feel this way” he spoke, taking your hands in his. “You’re an amazing girl, (name), you always have been and I’m sure you always will be.” 

As the words left his mouth and the emotion started to become prominent in his eyes, you noticed something in the way he looked at you — despite what his mind was telling him to say, in his heart, he didn’t want to lose you, and that made it all the more gut-wrenching. 

You felt so idiotic for thinking this relationship would last, but at the same time, it was such a shame to lose the person who you thought would've been a great lifelong partner. 

If you were being honest with yourself, you couldn’t stand the thought of losing him.

All you wanted to do was fall to your knees and beg him to stay an eternity with you, but from the tone that laced his words, you knew he would follow through with the separation no matter what.

“You deserve so much better and I-” It was almost embarrassing how he couldn’t keep his emotions in check anymore, his voice breaking as he wiped away the forming tears from his eyes with his shoulder. “I didn’t want this to end… If anything, you were the girl I wanted to marry. The girl I wanted to spend my life with, raise a family, and die with” 

The words that spilled out his mouth didn’t help in aiding your broken heart, they only made it harder and harder to keep the tears in your now glossy eyes.

Without a second thought, your mouth opened and you blurted something out. “Are you breaking up with me?” your lip quivered as your eyes scanned his face for an answer. 

It was a stupid question, but it was the only thing on your mind.

The boy was caught off guard by your sudden bluntness. It was a simple yes or no question, but, by the way you spoke, it just made breaking up even harder for him. 

The way you looked at him in such despair was enough for him to finally break eye contact, causing him to shift his gaze onto the ground.

Maybe it was the guilt that caused the boy to go nonverbal for a few seconds — an internal conflict between his heart and mind. You were everything he could ask for, yet, he knew he couldn’t give you everything you needed. 

After what seemed like a century of waiting, with a shaky voice, six words finally fell from his mouth. 

“I think we should break up..” 

And there they were – the words you were dreading to hear. Before you even noticed, the tears you were desperately holding back started to fall from your eyes, streaming down your cheeks and hitting the concrete the both of you stood on. 

It didn’t take long for him to notice the drops of water falling from your eyes, and once he took notice of the tears, his hand found its way to your face, his palm cupping your cheek as he wiped away your tears with his thumb. 

It was as if he wasn’t the reason for the tears. As much as you wanted to scream, telling him not to touch you, to leave your sight and never talk to you again after this, you just couldn’t find it in yourself to do so. 

Everything in your mind was telling yourself to hate him, to loathe his very being. Yet, despite all the hurt he was causing you at this very moment, you still couldn’t see him in a negative light.

Tear after tear fell from your eyes – It was almost pitiful. To you, it felt like you were crying for nothing. You felt stupid for being so affected by this, foolish to be this hurt over a relationship. 

You were in your own little world, caught up in your thoughts, struggling to come to terms with the “sudden” breakup. Trying desperately to grasp the reality of the situation, a familiar warmth seemed to wrap around you.

The boy’s arms held you as you cried, in an attempt to calm your emotions. 

In the moment, as you noticed his arms around you, it almost felt like he was trying to mock you. He had the audacity to try and provide you comfort when he was the cause of the emotional turmoil. 

You stood there for a while, your hands curled into balls, and all you felt was anger. You told yourself you didn't need his sympathy. 

That anger didn’t last long though, it was soon replaced with despair.

Your own arms soon wrapped around the boy’s frame as the tears from your eyes stained his shirt. You found yourself sobbing in his arms, trying to seek the comfort he would always provide for the very last time. 

As your face stayed buried in the gray-haired boy’s chest, he placed his chin on top of your head as his hand rubbed your back. The sound of your muffled sobs made him feel horrible. The guilt of hurting you was unbearable, he felt like such an asshole for doing this to a sweet girl like you.

After some time, the boy finally pulled away. He looked at you for what could be the last time.

As he pulled away and looked at you, he couldn't help but lean in and press a soft kiss on your forehead, as if a silent apology for all the pain he was provoking in this very moment. 

That kiss left you with a conflicting feeling. Every atom in your body wanted to feel anger, you wanted to slap him with your hardest blow. Yet, the kiss brought you unexpected comfort. 

— As much as you wanted to stay in his arms for however long you could, you took a step back, wiping away your tears. 

With a shaky voice, you finally spoke. “I understand, Koshi” was all you managed to mumble.

He wished you could’ve said more, he hoped that you didn’t hate him and that one day you’d be able to forgive him, but he understood as well, he knew you weren't fond of talking whilst experiencing high emotions. He understood well enough to let you walk away without another word.

Maybe that was Koshi Sugawara’s biggest mistake.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚ 

From talking for hours on end to walking past each other in the halls. 

It hurt to become so distant from someone who knew everything about you, from two people who claimed to have so much love for each other to strangers.

It felt like a mockery to see Sugawara somewhere on campus, each encounter with him was like a constant reminder of the breakup and the emotions that came with it. 

You tried to avoid Koshi on campus whenever you could for your sanity, but, going to the same school made it impossible to even attempt. Enviably, you crossed paths with Koshi occasionally, and every single time you did, you felt your heart break a little.

Before you could even realize it, your mental health began to worsen as the months seemed to drag on. You couldn’t commit to your studies and found yourself slacking off on assignments. And in return, your grades began to plummet. 

It started to feel almost impossible to even focus during lectures, your mind always seemed to be focused on something other than what was being said by the professors. You almost always fell asleep during your classes since you had never gotten the proper amount of sleep the previous night or couldn’t bring yourself to listen to the lecture. 

A period in your life where you avoid talking about it as if mentioning it would bring death upon you. A time in your life when you were at an all-time low; skipping your lectures, laying in bed all day, neglecting your chores.

Smoking was the only thing that brought you comfort during these times. You were well aware of the risks that came with smoking, but the desperation of wanting to get better got to you.

But as the days turned into weeks, with the help of the people you had around you, you had found your spark again.

You had finally found yourself once again and you couldn’t be more proud of yourself. Though you weren’t proud of the addiction that came along with it, but you can’t change what already had happened. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

– Before you knew it, it was the day of your graduation.

 It was more fulfilling than you had imagined, you couldn’t help but shed tears of joy. You were genuinely so proud of yourself, just a few months ago, you thought you’d never make it here. 

You stood patiently as you waited for your name to be announced.

From around ten people in front of you to only one person. Soon you were next to be called on stage to finally complete this hellish nightmare you were eager to escape. 

You felt your heartbeat in anticipation as your hands started to sweat, you couldn’t wait for all the opportunities that were ahead of you. You had always dreamed of opening your very own cafe with recipes you perfected. 

The very second they called your name to walk on the stage, you couldn’t help but tear up. You walked up onto the stage and accepted your diploma with a smile on your face, you shook everyone’s hand and headed back to your seat.

And that’s when the realization finally hit, you were finally done with your college years; you were finally an adult. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

An average day for you after college was inviting a friend over around the evening and having them taste and critique whatever you had made. Then, the following day you’d try again with less or more of a certain ingredient and then have your friend try it again to see what they’d say.

Baking wasn’t a cheap hobby you could just do whenever you pleased. With that understanding in mind, you took up a job as a cashier at a nearby fast food place just a walk around from your house. 

It’s been like this for a few years now, and you were content with this lifestyle. Of course, there would be times when the stress of not being able to perfect something gets to you, but all it took was a cigarette to calm you down and you were back to figuring out what you should try adding to a recipe next. 

Baking wasn’t much of a clean hobby either, after each session you had to clean. As you were cleaning your kitchen, reorganizing whatever was in there, you realized you were starting to run low on certain ingredients for your pastries. 

Looking at the time, you realized the grocery store was about to close. Panicked, you grabbed your wallet, phone, and house keys before sprinting out the door so you could have a decent amount of time to browse the shelves. 

Luckily, you made it with an hour to look around and decide if you wanted to purchase an item or buy it another time.

After almost an hour, you headed to the self-check-out, scanned your items, paid, and left the store. 

Unfortunately, you didn’t own a car, so that left you to just walk from place to place. You didn’t mind though, you liked walking, it was therapeutic for you. Surrounded by the orange sky, you headed home with earbuds in both ears, playing whatever songs were in your playlist. 

As you entered your neighborhood, you were more than ready to just settle down on your couch and watch the new episode of the current show you were watching. Nearing your apartment, you glanced up from your phone and nearly dropped all the bags you were holding.

Just outside of your apartment complex stood a familiar boy, seemingly looking for someone or something. 

For a while, you just stood still, looking at the figure in disbelief. 

And just like that, it was like you were reliving college all over again. The feelings you swore were gone and you’d never feel again suddenly came rushing back to you, hitting you like one big wave of the ocean.

“Koshi..?” You whispered to yourself as tears began to well up in your eyes. You couldn’t understand why he was outside of your building or how he knew where you lived. 

You had replayed this exact scenario in your head about a million times, so why were you suddenly freezing up?

It was naive, but a part of you believed he wanted to apologize to you for what had happened in college and finally give you closure, and maybe, just maybe, rekindle the spark the two of you once had. 

The cold air of the evening blew against your body as you felt your body heat up, breaking into a cold sweat, it was almost embarrassing how nervous you were getting, you hadn’t even approached him yet.

Before you could ever make the decision, he made that decision for you. The figure that stood in front of your apartment building turned to face you, and that's when you realized, it wasn’t Sugawara, but rather, a stranger. 

Right then and there, that’s when you decided you couldn’t live in this city anymore.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

Just seeing someone who resembled him in the slightest was enough to send you spiraling. Alone in your one-bedroom apartment, the only sound that filled the area was your muffled sobs.

You sat in the corner of your bedroom, knees against your chest, head down as you felt all the memories from high school up to college come rushing back to you. 

The desire of wanting to escape the city that was filled with reminders of why a portion of your college years turned bitter and acting on impulse don't mix well.

After seeing that boy outside of your building just a few moments ago, you didn’t waste a second booking a one-way flight to a different city that left the next day. 

It felt somewhat childish, still being bothered by things that happened to you years ago. Even so, you couldn’t stand staying in this city a day longer. 

It wasn’t long after you started packing your things, saying goodbye to the place that was your home for years now. You felt emotional, and rightfully so. You had to leave your family and friends without a goodbye since this was out of the blue, but this is what you needed the most, a fresh start.

The following morning, you made your way straight to the airport, unable to stay another moment in that apartment. Without a second thought, you left your key at the front desk and left without looking back.

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

Who knew after moving out of your old city, you’d finally be able to accomplish your dream. With the help of the new people you had met, you were finally able to open your own cafe. 

For the first few months that you lived in this new city, there was this feeling of uncertainty you couldn’t shake off. Maybe it was the fact you were completely isolated from everyone else.

Moving to a new city meant you had zero friends, but that issue didn’t last long. As the days passed, you eventually met people who happened to have the right skills to help you open your cafe.

Of course, starting a business isn’t a cheap investment by any means. The cost of simply purchasing the building was more than expensive. Along came interior design, painting and flooring, lighting, storage, equipment, and ingredients. 

A year-long process, but it was worth the wait in your eyes.

It was a hassle and almost put you in debt, but once everything came together, you had no regrets. You were beyond proud of yourself, you never thought you’d be able to come this far; yet, here you are. 

Now, the only thing that remained was the name of the cafe. Though you’ve dreamed of this moment since the day you finished college, you never thought of a name. 

With the help of some friends, a name was finally decided.  

Soon, “Autumn Cafe” was now open to the public. Since your cafe was located in a somewhat popular location in the city, it didn’t take long for the cafe to become a success. 

You felt more than accomplished, you never thought your own business would reach this amount of success in such a short amount of time. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

It’s unexpected for the owner of a business to work in said business. But hiding in plain sight was such a clever way to monitor what was going on in the cafe.

What made it all the more fun, the people you work with don’t know you own this establishment.

It’s a great thing you weren’t present during job interviews, or else this wouldn’t have worked out for you.

You worked as the cashier in your own business, but you didn’t mind. It kept you busy and saved you money as well, it was a win-win. 

ᥫ᭡ .  ˚

10:27 am. It was somewhat of a slow day today, given it was a school day and most of your customers were college students. There were only 5 customers in the store right now, just enjoying the silence of the cafe and eating or drinking whatever they ordered. 

You sat behind the counter reading about whatever drama was currently ongoing. Both your earbuds were plugged in so you couldn't hear whether or not someone came in, but you didn’t care. Rarely anyone came in at this time anyway.

You enjoyed days were work was slow, and you & your coworkers could relax once and a while, you guys enjoyed these moments whenever they were given. 

As you were scrolling, you noticed someone come up to the counter from your peripheral vision. “Welcome, how could I help you?” You said as you took off your earbuds and placed your phone back into your bag. 

Without looking up, you waited patiently for the person to voice out their order so you could punch it in the register. After what seemed to be a minute, the person still hadn’t said anything. 

“Maybe they’re browsing through the menu,” You said, still not looking up. But after what seemed like another minute passing by, you finally lifted your eyes to see what the person behind the counter was up to.

As your eyes found their way to the person in front of you, you felt your heart drop to your stomach as you realized who it was that stood just in front of you. 

Koshi?  

[carefulfears]

knowing you, you have probably talked about it before but i’d really love to know what you think about mulder’s savior/sacrificial lamb complex. i think it was csm that mentioned in amor fati that mulder’s hero complex would be the end of him one way or the other and it always reminds me of this essay “the gods show up” where the “tragic hero” is described as a human who’s by fate already dead, but keeps talking and trying for the sake of something bigger anyway (aka that post where you said mulder belongs to scully but that just ends up being the reason for her hurt because he also belongs to something bigger that doesn’t care for his well being). strangely it also reminds me of that interview where dd said “mulder is a guy who has been given the problems as jesus” lol.

this is such a beautiful question...the first thing that you have to understand is that i genuinely view fox mulder as a benevolent second coming of christ and every written word stems from the point of view of its author, so. the second is that i think duchovny had an understanding of the character that made that story/franchise what it was and his description of a "profoundly human model of christ" in writing the base-work of amor fati (a conflict between larger purpose and desire for normal life) is as unironically insightful as it is extremely funny. the third is that when mr. x shoves mulder against the wall of the hospital garage in one breath and tells him "i used to be you. but you're not me, mulder, i don't think you have the heart" - it's as much endorsement as it is damnation.

if you look at these two quotes from the amor fati dream

CSM to mulder: "You've suffered enough - for the X-Files, for your partner, for the world. You're not Christ. You're not Prince Hamlet. You're not even Ralph Nader. You can walk out of this hospital and the world will forget you."

and later, mulder to diana: "I have commitments-- to the X-Files, to Scully, to my sister."

CSM is meant to be playing the role of the literal last temptation, the snake-like figure that has to lead his prey astray. but those three things that mulder still has his sights on (the x-files, scully, samantha) are three things that nobody else is dedicated to. nobody else is going to keep those cases open and search for answers and care about those victims. nobody else is scully's partner: working with her, looking after her, fighting with and for her. nobody else is inspiring her. nobody else is remembering his sister, missing her, looking for her. the mother that leaves him in a hospital room in this episode, is burning last signs of life a few chapters later.

i've seen people argue that the problem with this episode and its larger arc is that "CSM is right and the episode thinks he's wrong" but i don't think he is right. i don't think he thinks he's right. i think he's doing a job and mulder is doing a job, both playing their roles, and his thesis is that mulder has done "enough" and suffered "enough" for his list of commitments- but what's enough when no one is gonna tag you out? when the speaker is waiting for a clear shot? (i'm reminded here of one of my favorite audries fic lines: "he sits on the bed, the line of his shoulders going curved and uneven. even hercules would have dropped the weight of this world.")

which is all to say (and remember my point#1 at the top), that i wouldn't describe mulder's "savior complex" as even really being a complex, i think it's just the world. i used to talk about sometimes how moving it is to me that mulder was born into this world and was always going to die for this cause and the story is about people who choose to follow. who have every opportunity available to them and want to do this work at any cost. who won't leave him in it alone, at any cost.

it's scully at the end of the road saying that she would do it "all over again."

it's skinner's "if given the choice between advancing my career by being blindly loyal to some faceless puppeteers pulling strings from the shadows, or to throw in with you two, make no mistake about it. i'd make the same decision every single damn time."

and anon i really love that quote you shared, which is from the gods show up by michael kinnucan: "The center of every tragedy is the image of a human being who has already died but keeps talking, someone whose face is a mask."

which, as you alluded, is what i define as the tragedy of mulder's character. that he was always going to die for the cause he was born into ("there is no other version of this story") and perhaps more tragic: that people depend on him, at any cost. that scully dedicates her life to someone who will list her as his tethering responsibility, but who doesn't belong to her. cannot be predominantly responsible to her, of her. harsh punishment for fruitful crimes.

[fixing-bad-posts]

I looked around and didn't see anything about this on your blog but I apologize if I missed it.

I was wondering, what does doing the work behind this blog...feel like? I guess what I'm asking is if it does anything to you. Like, I had a thought. For a flash, I imagined you as Butters from South Park in that episode where he is tasked with filtering out all the negative comments on Cartman's social media. It ended up really messing with Butters, what with him having to see all that negativity.

You're definitely not being affected to that extreme, I assume, but I wonder if you would have anything to say about the process of finding these negative posts and reading them several times to edit them. Has it exposed you to unpleasantness that you wouldn't have otherwise seen? Or is there perhaps a kind of catharsis in editing such filth?

I'm making a lot of assumptions here. Maybe I'm also asking about your process. I just think what you're doing is neat and would love to hear about your experience with it.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have plenty of reasons to feel joy <3

oh boy, i love talking about myself haha—so thank you for giving me an excuse to do so! i have answered similar questions in the past, though never at length. every once in a while, someone pops into the inbox to ask about my mental health (which, rest assured, is just fine—i don’t put this blog’s operation above anything; it’s honestly pretty low on my list of life-priorities), and it’s always quite sweet. having a mob of strangers following one’s sideblog has its perks: one being that sometimes parasociality results in some well wishes, kind thoughts, and general goodwill. which is very nice, and probably an unearned vanity-boost for my ego.

what does the work behind this blog feel like? in turns: mundane, challenging, vindicating, annoying, amusing… and probably other things that i’m forgetting. most of the work i do on this blog is actually me procrastinating! i am a certified adult with a job™, and i’m definitely guilty of slacking off at work sometimes to queue posts submissions from my inbox, which is more fun than like… proofreading financial documents and making spreadsheets. other times, i’m sitting in a café with my partner, and allegedly i’m “writing” fanfiction. but, uh, if you know any writers, you know that sometimes “writing” means, ‘looking at a blinking cursor’. so it’s in those moments that i open up tumblr and start writing image descriptions and adding tags to prep posts for my queue. that’s mainly when the blog feels mundane.

something that i think helps me avoid negative doomscroll-spirals is that i don’t actively seek out bad posts for this blog. being a citizen of the internet delivers fodder to me naturally. that, and running a semi-popular sideblog on tumblr. when i see a bad post in the wild, that’s when the feeling is annoying/challenging. challenging, because ever since starting this sideblog, hateful posts don’t feel as vicious to me. once i see them, they stop being posts and turn into word-puzzles. and i love word puzzles!

solving the word puzzle is amusing for me, as is getting to look at my resulting “blackout poem.” it makes me laugh, it stretches my brain. when i started, i used to have to read a post several times to find the ‘good post within the bad post’ so to speak. these days, i’m so used to it, i barely read the bad posts more than a handful of times. but as i was saying to my partner, one of the reasons i love found poetry (erasure poetry, and cut-up poetry) is that it uses the same part of my brain that loves scrabble (the board game). then, of course, it's vindicating to see my posts get so many notes, sometimes surpassing the original bad post. that's more of my own vanity, i'm sure.

as for the last part of your message: yes, i have plenty of reasons to feel joy. i work with people who respect me, i live walking distance from a bubble tea café, and have friends and family whom i love. i have the good fortune to be safely out as a queer person. i’m a fanbinder. i’m currently working on a long fanfiction which is getting some very nice comments on ao3. and i’ve recently decided to become a poet (like, for real).

i must admit, i’m fascinated by how you imagine me. i often wonder how i am perceived, especially because i keep many cards close to my chest here on my sideblog.

anyhow, thank you for this excuse to ramble about myself and the process of running this blog. i hope you also have plenty of reasons to feel joy 💛

[im-a-goddamn-cat]

I found your post "sorry (not) sorry" where you talk about asexuality and aces who say they love sex etc.

That post ended up on my "for you" and I'm glad it did. I wrote a reply in that post but I was typing too quickly and it was a mess. So I deleted it and decided to write a message instead.

I have to say that I agree with your post 100% and it's quite sad that your opinion is "problematic" in ace community.

Can aces have sex? Yes. Some say they do it solely to please their partners, which sounds very RAPEY. It's interesting how little we hear about the allosexual individuals, who might masturbate instead of having sex with their asexual partners.

Nowadays, it seems like everyone is obsessed with labels and twisting words to fit their own narrative. I'm not against labels, just use labels that fit you. A lot of times I feel like allos just use asexual label so they can preach how they love sex & they can show aces that they can love sex too like every other "normal" person.

Sometimes when I see someone talking how they never want sex or that they are sex repulsed there always have to be some "ace" that screams BUT DON'T FORGET ACES LOVE SEX TOO! WE LOVE KINK! WE LOVE FUCKING!!!

It feels like you're being erased, but erased by someone who's not even asexual.

I come to ace tags a lot, because I would like to follow some people, (also I come to the tags a lot so I can block bots that started spamming the tags) but it's always the same story. I see people who say they are ace but they also say things that show me that they are pretty much allos. It's sad because these people made me avoid ace spaces... because it really feels like 60% of them are allos who just use ace label. 30% are aces who don't want to be rude and they're like "all are welcome, all can use ace label!!! No one can tell you that you're not ace" and then 10% people just don't say a word because they don't want drama.

This is why people won't take us seriously because a lot of people who don't know much about asexuality hear just "I'm ace but I still love and enjoy sex!. And this is why some people think being celibate and being asexual is the same thing.

Sorry for a long message & my rant but it's RARE that someone who's ace actually say things you said in that post out loud... and it's refreshing to see that.

I don't really know how much we have in common but I will follow you just so I can read more of your ace posts in the future. Because I really need that.

thank you so much for sending this message, i'm really glad that my post resonated with you. and i agree with everything you said. it's awful that the asexual label/community has been overtaken by this narrative that aces can have sex even tho it's just false. it's actually pretty scary bc, like you said, it sounds so rapey. you rarely hear ppl adovacting for allos to have sex just to please their partner or for allos to have sex with ppl they aren't attracted to bc everyone recognizes how disgusting that is, but for some reason, ppl think it's normal and okay to do this to ace ppl.

i hate being one of those ppl who tries to tell others what their identity is but i truly do feel like ppl who claim that their ace but still want/enjoy sex aren't actually ace, they're allosexual who decided to call themself ace for some reason. asexual ppl do not experience sexual attraction so they would not be seeking out sex with ppl nor would they enjoy it. if someone claims they enjoy sex despite being ace, i feel like there's a good chance that they're not actually ace.

i've also seen the argument that "asexuality is a spectrum" for why aces can have sex but i'm gonna be honest, it seems more like it's allosexuality that is the spectrum; there's only one way to not experience sexual attraction (asexual) but there's many different ways to experience sexual attraction and there's nothing wrong with that but it doesn't mean you're asexual. if you experience sexual attraction, you're not asexual.

i've also seen ppl get harassed for saying that they're asexual which means they don't want to have sex and/or dislike sexual content and i've experienced that myself. i've made posts just talking about my own sexuality and have had multiple ppl who jumped in to try "correcting" me by telling me that aces can have sex, which again is false, and it just shows how creepy this attitude is bc why do ppl always feel the need to try forcing this mindset onto any actual asexual person they come across? it really feels like ppl are just trying to pressure ace ppl into forcing themselves to conform to allosexual society's standards.

anyways, i think you hit the nail right on the head, you're so right about everything. it seems that even the ace community has been overtaken by a compulsory sexuality and rape culture mindset and it's so sad. this is supposed to be a community for ppl to celebrate and bond over their identity and yet you have so many ppl either trying to coerce asexual ppl into having sex and/or ppl who aren't even asexual who are claiming the label and twisting it for their own weird narrative.

thank you so much again. 💕 ik it sucks and it makes me sad and angry that ppl do this awful stuff too but always remember that there is nothing wrong with who we are and that we should try to stay positive and fight against ppl's acephobia as much as possible. 💕

[owlsandwich]

Writeblr Intro

Updated 7 August 2024

Links to where you can find each project are below. For gay vampire romance, see Burning the Darkness (on AO3 as Darkness At The Heart Of My Love), and for multiple POV fantasy, see The Mechanics of Magic.

Some key facts first:

Genre - Fantasy

Audience - Adult

Reccuring elements - magic, neurodivergent characters, queer characters 🏳️‍🌈

I'm Wren, I'm 35 and from the UK. I am also autistic and my rainbow credentials are that I'm a trans guy, grey-ace, and somehow also pretty gay 😉

My characters tend to be neurodivergent, with many of them being ADHD or autistic, even if the fantasy world doesn't have a term for it. I develop all my stories with my partner, who is ADHD. I also like to write about trauma and healing through found family and connections with others.

I currently have two ongoing projects.

Project 1:

The Mechanics of Magic (read it here)

Multiple POV fantasy novel. Tag: themechanicsofmagic

Two decades after the slaughter of Ardveld’s royal family, Matthew could almost forget he’d ever been the crown prince. His survival a secret from all but his closest friend, the expectations of his birth have been consigned to history.

A job. A family. He thought he’d moved on.

But when his eighteen-year-old son Alex is arrested and taken to the palace, Matthew realizes his past has caught up with him.

Meanwhile, novice mage, delivery driver, and part-time thief Roy is looking for answers. A simple break-in takes a sinister turn when he stumbles across a weapon imbued with destructive magic and glowing with the sigil of Ardveld’s deceased royalty.

Across the city, a string of strange magic attacks prompts an investigation by Ardveld’s newly appointed Head of Magical Affairs, Tamara. What she discovers threatens to reveal the truth about Ardveld’s takeover, and will determine the future of the survivors.

The Mechanics of Magic is a multiple-pov fantasy novel set in an original world where magic exists openly alongside early internet-level technology.

The book follows the surviving prince of a deposed magical royal family (who has been living in secret for two decades) trying to rescue his son from the government whilst uncovering the truth about his family's murder.

Mechanics was my first book. It can stand alone, but I am now working on the sequel as there is much more to explore with these characters and their journey.

I am currently working through the edited manuscript that I've received back from my editor, and will be posting each chapter here as I go under the tag themechanicsofmagic

Project 2:

Burning the Darkness (AO3: Darkness At The Heart Of My Love)

18+ gay vampire romance exploring themes of discovering you're queer, and what it means to be a monster.

Currently being edited into an ebook, but the old version will always be available on AO3. (Tag: darknessattheheart)

Read it on AO3 here

A Lightborn manifests once a century. Oren’s light magic is powerful enough to wipe out the court and devastate vampire society, but money and connections can thwart any threat. Killed before they even know they have been betrayed, the Lightborn has become little more than a monster from Julian's bedtime stories.

A monster that seems nothing like the gentle young man now destined to die.

~

The surprise attack by the vampire’s feral army should have killed Oren. Instead, he wakes up, bloodied and weak in the lair of his enemy.

It is surely no act of benevolence. Julian is the son of the Master of the Court. A night creature, whose sharp teeth at Oren’s throat leave him changed - transformed into the very monster he was born to destroy.

They are bound together, but Oren's magic is only growing stronger. He resists control, even as he slips further into hunger, and Julian’s father is close to figuring out the truth. Time is running out, and Oren’s existence threatens to tip the delicate balance of power at court into a battle that will devour them both.

My second book! It has an 18+ rating for some explicit content.

[watercolor-hearts]

The thing about my heart is that it usually feels quite fast* and I'm almost always aware of it (and probably me being aware of it makes it faster so it's a really bad loop).

It's fast when I'm resting, too, so sometimes I try to slow it down but I'm not good at it because if my heart knows I'm aware of what it's doing it wants to perform and it won't slow down – it's one of the difficult parts of being a cardiophile.

But yesterday someone could slow it down and it was so special to me I wanted to write a post about it to keep it here in my tag for difficult times. ❤

So, what happened was that @fredwardart sent me a lot of voice messages about a story idea that came after he sent me a pic of a driver and we started talking about it and he hinted something I wanted to know more about so I asked him to tell me more.

And he did tell me about it a bit later. And those voice messages, guys... Oh my God.

We'd just came back from the mall with my best friend, I climbed on the bed, laid on my stomach in a comfortable position and started listening to the voice messages one by one. I was really tired because in the morning we went to the market and in the afternoon we went to the mall so we walked a lot and it was really hot (close to or maybe even over 40 °C) and it was nice to be able to lie down a bit and listen to a story I knew I'd love because I always love Freddie's stories.

So yeah, I lay there and listened to him talking about endurance racing being difficult and demanding and this certain driver not feeling too well, his heart beating a bit too fast and him not being able to control it like he usually could but still driving and thinking about his partner and trying not to make any big mistakes and just bring the car home to then be able to go home to his partner. He had a crash in the past where his partner basically gave up the race to go and check if he was okay, take his pulse, listen to his breathing, but now he wasn't there because of them racing in different series now, so he didn't want to scare him with an accident because he's already traumatized enough. (I don't want to spoil everything so I won't say more about the story in case one day Freddie would want to write it.)

While listening to Freddie's voice, him talking about heartbeats, breathing, pulse and things like that, I noticed that my heart had slowed down which was a surprising discovery because of what I mentioned in the beginning of the post.

Him talking about the things I (and he) love was so comforting I felt like I started falling asleep. I didn't know anybody would be able to slow down my heart with their voice and the way they talk about certain things but it looks like there's someone who can and it makes our friendship even more special.

There's nobody I've ever let closer to my heart than him and it was one of the best things I've done in my life because I never thought I'd have a friendship like this with anybody. I didn't even know a friendship like this could exist. Every day I feel like it can't become better, it can't become more special but then things like this happen and I'm proved wrong. And it's... It's amazing, really.

Those messages and the effect they brought felt like a birthday gift. The most amazing birthday gift I've ever gotten. (But then it's got topped with the actual birthday gift he sent me. ❤)

I'll never forget this. I wish I could save those voice messages and put them into a single file to be able to listen to it when I need it. ❤

-

(*Since I have a pulse oximeter, I know that it's not as fast as I thought it was, which is reassuring, but it's still a bit faster than most people's. But no need to worry, I have no complaints and as far as I know I'm healthy.)

[emily-prentits]

tagged by @crime-wives <33

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

59! (one of which is actually not mine, but it's been passed off to me so i can write the ending. its a long story)

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

170,144 (I DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT IT 😭)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

at the moment i'm a little all over! i have wips for grey's anatomy, silk comics, and the 2019 carmen sandiego reboot.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Dance With Me - 326 kudos (Carmen Sandiego)

lately she's undressing for revenge - 298 kudos (Grey's Anatomy)

used to think loving meant a painful chase (but you're right here now, and I think you'll stay) - 250 kudos (Grey's Anatomy)

all the cuddles are for you - 222 kudos (Carmen Sandiego)

kissing you (again and again and again) - 199 kudos (Killing Eve)

5. do you respond to comments?

i try to! and i always get around to it eventually, unless it's a comment asking me to update etc otherwise it's not worth my time or energy.

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

you're gone (and I'm all alone) for sure. the first and only time i've written main character death (so far).

7. what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhh. i don't do a lot of that. but if i had to pick from my sparse collection, i'd say You Are In Love :) short and sweet and ridiculously fluffy. my love letter to meddison <3

8. do you get hate on fics?

i don't think so! i don't write for gigantic fandoms, so the people that read my fics are usually too glad to have a new fic to nitpick my writing lmaoo. and honestly if i did i don't remember, so it clearly wasn't that important to me. shrug emoji

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yep! as for what kind... well. i'll write anything if i have a strong enough vision and motivation lol. even in my one multi, there's a vast range of stuff. i'm always open to explore!

10. do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one you've written?

i don't write crossovers, personally i don't care for them, unless aus count.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope :) and if someone tries it i will make their online life a living hell :)

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

nope!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

yeah! i've co-written twice so far: burning (this is not a love story) with @which-star and it was intentional with @jackie-shitposts :))

14. what's your all time favourite ship?

thats a tough one 😭 but i'd have to go with silkcat from marvel comics. literally who is doing every dynamic so well like they do (no one is)

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh so many. SO many. including but not limited to: meddison season 18/19 neighbor au, meddison bloomington au, and are you mine? (i'm not quite yours). its exhausting having all these ideas and no motivation to write them :(

16. what are your writing strengths?

i'm told that i write complex/angsty feelings really well! and i'm glad i do lol because why is my brain like this if not to be a storyteller

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

little movements. i love them and need them. they kill me.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i'm open to it! i'm not fluent in any languages other than english, but i could probably string together some sentences in spanish if i tried (don't ask me about my latin abilities, pls and ty.)

19. first fandom you wrote for?

the 2019 carmen sandiego reboot on netflix! that show got me into writing and is also how i met my partners :)

20. favorite fic you've written?

oh boy you're making me choose 😭 i'll say that revenge is my top 1 SO FAR. second and third is tied between intrigue (hold your breath). and already yours. these three are some of the only fics i've written that i like enough to reread.

no pressure tagging: @walshies @which-star @lisascumslut78 @itsdappleagain @peridotglimmer @sucker-for-emily-prentiss and any other writers that want to! i always forget which of my mutuals write when im tagged in stuff like this. whoops

[dangerous-disposition]

98 and Tigareth 😌

Aaaaaah thank you so much for asking for THE BOYS, now I get to post THE BOYS.

The prompt is "If we weren't in public right now i'd have my head between your legs." and the ship is Gareth/OMC, specifically, my OMC Tig who is Our Boyfriend.

This is established!Tigareth, and takes place in the near-ish future of pom!verse ;p and in pom!verse, Gareth is short.

Tagging the Tig fans: @xenon-demon @steddieas-shegoes @theheadlessphilosopher @scarcrossdlvrs @sidekick-hero @sentient-trash @stobinesque @starryeyedjanai @vampeddie @hellion-child @wormdebut (if i'm forgetting someone i'm so sorry just let me know in the notes if you wanna be tagged in more Tig stuff)

Enjoyyyyyyyy

Gareth, for the most part, loved concerts. The energy of them, especially the mosh pit, was sublime. They allowed him to get out a lot of pent-up energy that he otherwise struggled to find release for (because despite what some giants in his life would insist, sex wasn't always the best way to burn through some stuff). Sometimes, Gareth just needed to get his eardrums blown out in the middle of a sweaty crowd of strangers, maybe get shoved around. Part of that need was probably why he became a drummer, and performing absolutely scratched that itch well enough while they were touring.

But sometimes he just wanted to actually see the band performing which, when you’re just over five fucking feet tall, usually didn’t work out. Especially when a stupid fucking accident on the freeway cost them precious minutes needed to make it to the barrier.

They were stuck in the middle of the crowd and obviously it still sounded amazing, and the energy was still fucking perfect, Gareth couldn’t help the scowl that fell over his face. It was still the opening bands, so there was still time to bully his way to the barrier, but still… he didn’t want to have to bully his way to the barrier.

“You’re pouting,” Tig’s voice rumbled against Gareth’s ear as the first opening band exited the stage and he jumped, swinging his elbow and catching his boyfriend’s hip.

“Not pouting,” he snapped back and Tig just laughed, sending Gareth’s stomach into a series of somersaults. It was a good thing he wasn’t looking at Tig when he laughed like that because Gareth knew he would be embarrassing about it.

He always was.

“Okay, well, that definitely looks like a pout, Gare,” Tig insisted, and only then did Gareth actually turn his head to look at him.

It was always fucking devastating to look at Tig, especially in the shifting lights of a concert, especially when Tig was done up in all that leather and denim, eyes lined in black and his long hair pulled back to show off his undercut. His hair was platinum blond again, too, which was doing something for Gareth for reasons that were far too embarrassing to fully admit to while completely sober.

“Aren’t you enjoying the concert?” Tig asked, and Gareth had to take a deep breath before he said something nasty. See, Tig was gorgeous, and a considerate partner, and the most perfect boyfriend probably ever, but he was famous for his stupid questions.

“Yeah, I’m sure the concert is great when you’re, fuckin’, Slenderman,” Gareth said snappishly, gesturing at Tig’s six-foot-fucking-six frame. Then he pointed at the man standing right in front of him and added, “I get to watch the sweat spot between this asshole’s shoulder blades grow. Can’t see jackshit else.”

When Gareth looked back at Tig again, he immediately felt bad for his complaining. He genuinely looked guilty, his brow furrowed and the corners of his mouth turning down. Just as Gareth was about to back-pedal, though, Tig got a little smirk on his lips that had Gareth nervous.

Leaning close enough to Gareth’s ear that his lip piercings brushed against his earlobe, Tig murmured in a perfect accent, “Shall I describe it to you? Or would you like me to find you a box?”

Gareth reared back to stare at his boyfriend, eyes wide and nostrils flaring at the cheeky little smirk on Tig’s lips as mortification flooded through him. Not for the first time, Gareth found himself plotting the most effective way to put Nair in Eddie Munson’s conditioner without risking Steve in the crossfire. It was Eddie’s fault that Tig knew about the obsessive crush he had on Legolas at all, and since finding out about it the man was insufferable.

Unfortunately for Gareth, Tig saying that line in a perfect imitation of the accent with platinum blond hair had a completely different feeling taking precedence.

“Dipshit,” Gareth grumbled with a roll of his eyes, and he reached for Tig, scowling at the shit-eating grin that split his face.

Perhaps the man expected to be shoved, because Tig visibly braced himself only to stumble a bit when Gareth’s hands wrapped around the leather straps of the harness he wore and tugged. Their lips crashed together and Tig instantly melted into it, opening for Gareth’s questing tongue before pressing forward with his own. The sensation of Tig’s forked tongue against his had Gareth’s head going fuzzy and hot, and he had to force himself to pull away.

“If we weren’t in public right now, I’d have my head between your legs,” Gareth said thickly, kissing Tig again.

“Making a pretty good case to get somewhere private immediately,” Tig hummed, just as the second opening band came out and started up.

“If you get me to the barrier, I’ll do a lot more than suck your cock later,” Gareth promised and the heated expression Tig pinned him with had him reconsidering staying at the show entirely.

But then Tig had him by the hand and was snaking through the crowd, and Gareth found himself standing at the barrier in no time. Of course, Gareth is a man of his word, and he absolutely intended to make good on his vow the second they got somewhere even remotely private.

Make me write!!

[writingmochi]

! "favorite kpop group(s)" tag game !

tagged by: raeri @14raeriluv thank you so much for tagging me! (you've tagged me twice n i want more if you have more tag games under your sleeve. also, it is raeri, right? or rae?)

| who is your favourite kpop group?

currently, txt, enhypen, ateez (yes, in that order cause i enjoy ateez's songs but don't follow their schedule as much, i watched en-o'clock and jake is my muse but don't usually hear their songs, and i can still feel my heart fluttering whenever i come across txt)

| which member sparked your interest first?

txt: yeonjun! he's the first member to be revealed during their debut days and i was one of the first to watch his announcement vid

enhypen: jake. his pics and vids during i-land days (even tho i don't interact with i-land cause i am SICK of survival shows, fuuuuck them!)

ateez: seonghwa cause of his appearance that i still remember (the platinum blond hair with fake lip ring)

| who was your first bias?

txt: soobin is who i claimed as my first bias (i had to be careful with that cause i had a friend who believes the "bias is mine" mindset and she also picked soobin lol so i claimed that my bias is yeonjun >.<)

enhypen: jungwon! i know surprising, but he is and will be my younger bro, but my bias changes depending on who i vibe with and having a sibling connection with won feels weird because i usually read fics of my biases and it feels awkward for me to read a reader x won fic (esp if it's romantic)

ateez: mingi. i like people with deep voices (cause i also have one for being a contralto) and his voice just caught me off guard. then, i moved to wooyoung because he likes jimin and park jimin was my ult bias for like 4 years (i'm a simple girl. if he biases my bias, he is my bias)

| who is your current bias?

txt: soobin

enhypen: jake

ateez: seonghwa

| what makes them your current bias?

visual and voice definitely come to mind. for me, they are so partner-coded with their own pros and cons and i think all of them have a sense of stability within them (soobin with leadership, jake with intelligence, seonghwa with wisdom). while career-wise, they're the underdogs of their groups and i have a thing for underdogs that makes me wanna support them more. they're not flashy enough to be called an ace but also talented enough to be an all-rounder

| who is your bias wrecker?

txt: yeonjun for the longest time. taehyun when i was writing troubled pixies (i even considered biasing yeonbintyun because of it)

enhypen: jay and heeseung! jongseong's been the longest bias wrecker in enha since he almost stole jaeyun's seat numerous times while heeseung is a new one because he's FFFFFFFFAAAAAAWWWKKKing hot and talented (also their music taste combined = my current music taste + they play instruments so that's a plus for me cause i love musicians (most of my real life crush are musicians/can play instruments))

ateez: CHOI SAN FTW istg this guy pls let me bias seonghwa in peace. also, i'll never forget my time biasing wooyoung and he is still lingering on my mind

| which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/bias wrecker?

txt: i don't think i have one. my member obsession will change depending on which fics of theirs that i'm currently writing (cause all of them are equally chaotic in my eye)

enhypen: KIM SUNOO MY BESTIE!!! he's my fellow 03 liner bestie and he's just a breath of neutral-feminine fresh air in the otherwise hypermasculine vibes of enhypen. i always see myself supporting him more than jake cause he is also an underdog in my eye

ateez: jeong yunho. the immaculate talent he has. the freaking smile. UGHHHHH

| when did you first discover the group?

txt: have been there since the beginning, baby! pre-debut times where bighit announces that bts is having a little brother group and the rest is history

enhypen: i've known about i-land (that's when i saw jake's announcement pic and he is such AWOOGAH) but i'm pissed off by survival shows that i don't wanna feel traumatized anymore. i've heard of given-taken but i didn't start being a fan until drunk-dazed - fever era cause that ep is so nice and they have a show with txt so... yeah!

ateez: back in 2018, so many random play dance vids had pirate king as one song in their roster and so i started to get interested. i became a fan during the start of the treasure ep 2 promotions (the red bg concept photo with blond seonghwa, yes that's the one that i mentioned before) and i binge their content including kq fellaz, ep 1, and the short version of hala hala at that time and it's still one of my fav songs of theirs

| have you ever been to one of their concerts?

txt: twice! act: lovesick in 2022 and act: sweet mirage in 2023. i stand pretty far from the stage (because i don't wanna get crowd crush and i can dance and enjoy however i want) but i actually went past their van convoy on the highway on my way home lmao (me and my best friend actually didn't actually believe it was them until we saw that kai had done a very brief weverse live on the van around the same time i drove my car past their van. the fact that i'm meters away from them but we're shielded by each of our vehicles sadge)

enhypen: never, cause they don't consider my city/country to have many engenes. i'm willing to pay to go watch them in another city/country but depends on scheduling and setlist (cause i'm here to watch them perform given-taken live and they don't have it in the latest setlist for the fate tour which is such a disappointment on my end)

ateez: yeah? they're part of a line up for spotify on stage back in 2019 alongside (g)i-dle and rich brian. so i consider that i have watched them in a concert~

| what are some of your favourite songs by this group?

making this a top 5 (in no particular order) cause that will challenge me

txt: farewell, neverland ; ghosting ; growing pain ; can we just leave this monster alive ; our summer

enhypen: given-taken ; attention, please ; blockbuster ; flicker ; shout out

ateez: answer ; hala hala ; take me home ; utopia ; inception

tagging: the moots who are active recently aka @boba-beom @junniieesbby @lovejoshua @itz-yerin @wave2tyun @sooepz @euphor1a @pyeonghongrie @txt-yaomi and writers i've interacted with recently (through the networks and sideblogs) @wonryllis @beomie3 @gyutarling @anyamaris @wooyoungqueen @sanjoongie @stardragongalaxy and anyone i didn't tag can also join in! (soz if i forget yall tho)

[barris-events]

Under the cut you will find a list of prompts to inspire your works for this fest. You're free to use whatever you want, to combine two or more of them, whatever you like. When you post your work, just let us know which one(s) inspired you in your notes and don't forget to tag us. If you need a reminder on the guidelines, you can find them here. Otherwise, happy writing/drawing/giffing 🌙💙🌕

Quotes, Poetry & Lyrics

🔵 The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections. - Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me 

🟦 Moonlight drowns out all but the brightest stars. - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

📘 Place, park, scene, dark / Silvery moon is shining through the trees / Cast, two, me, you / Summer kisses floating on the breeze - By the Light of the Silvery Moon 

🦋 It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me / At tea time, everybody agrees / I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror / It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero -Taylor Swift, Anti-hero 

💙 Your hands, like no-one else's / the ring around the blue of your eyes / lift all the sighs out of me / like the memory of something beautiful: / the moon, how close you are, how far. - Blue Moon, Linda France 

🔷 I heard somebody whisper "Please adore me" / And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold - Blue Moon, Hart & Rogers 

🔵 The month of August had turned into a griddle where the days just lay there and sizzled. - Sue Monk Kidd, The Secret Life of Bees

🟦 So much for summer love and saying "us" / 'Cause you weren't mine to lose - Taylor Swift, August 

🦋 I really wanna stop, but I just got the taste for it / I feel like I could fly with the boy on the moon / So honey, hold my hand, you like making me wait for it / I feel like I could die walking up to the room - Carly Rae Jepson, I Really Like You

Scenarios

🔵 Scenario: summer thunder storm traps them inside. they play board games to pass the time.

📘 Scenario, choose your own adventure: a trip to the beach goes awry. Do they a) discover a body, b) encounter someone from Thomas's past, or c) get caught up in a smuggling adventure.

🔷 Scenario: AU in which Thomas is an exasperated teacher at a private school and Richard is PA to one of the school wealthiest benefactors. Richard has been charged with dealing with the appalling behaviour of the benefactor's trouble-making child.

💙 Scenario: future fic. Richard and Thomas move into a cottage on the estate. It’s perfect, except for being haunted by Carson.

🟦 Scenario: there's an interlinking door between Thomas's room and the one where Richard stays at Downton Abbey.

🌀Scenario: Richard time travels to the past and encounters a younger Thomas. Whether he’s there to fix something or some other reason is up to you.

🔷 Scenario: AU based on the Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story subplot with the King's valet and the Queen's footman (spoilers for plot). Thomas is newly assigned to Queen Charlotte as her personal footman. He lives for knowing what's going on in society and reporting useful gossip to her. Richard is King George's valet and the only person who knows about his mental health situation and what's really going on with him and keeps it secret from all the other staff and Charlotte, using various machinations and making excuses for why the King is doing certain erratic things. When they start hooking up, Thomas quickly sees through Richard's web of lies. Richard has a choice about whether to trust the footman (known gossip and schemer) with the King's secret and bring him into his schemes or part ways with him to protect the king.

💙 Scenario: AU where Thomas owns a plant shop and Richard is a frequent customer.

📘 Scenario: Thomas is surprised/confused when Richard shows concern for his well-being, he's used to it only happening when his partner wants sex/intimacy.

Misc

🔵 Moon tarot meaning: Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. Reversed: Instability, inconstancy, silence, lesser degrees of deception and error.

🔷 Blue colour meaning: Blue is the colour of trust and loyalty. It has a calming and soothing effect and you can always count on its support.

Images

If you'd rather some visual inspiration, take a look at these picture prompts. You can use all the images from any set, mix and match, or just pick a single image to use.

🟦 Image set 1

🦋 Image set 2

🔵 Image set 3

[kenjiyabuki]

so here are some thoughts about DMD Friendship the Reality while we are nearing the end

yeah yeah its not that deep but actually no one caring/talking about a show makes me want to write a LONG ASS POST bc i cant get gratification from going through the tags and reading opinions lmaoooooo so HERE damn okkk i will make the content i want to see in the world i guess dont mind me......😞

im not even the biggest Domundi fan but i was intrigued by the premise of this show. i mean it's a basically fake dating show (like one of their challenge rewards was getting to sleep in a suite together as if they are there to date for real) and the end prize isnt just an acting opportunity as it comes w the big decision of choosing a looooooong time acting partner. so i wanted to see how they would do it. BOC did a similar thing w The Hidden Character which i dropped halfway in bc it was too long and i found the challenges to be irrelevant to the ending goal. this show is the opposite of that and thats why ive been enjoying it.

it is edited to be concise (only 5 eps) and honestly, is quite tranquil. all the challenges were about things they will be required to do in the future as DMD actors/idols and stakes aren't even that high. You could always guess who would win before they even started (((like of course broody model guys won the photoshoot challenge and guy w two series under his belt won the acting one, DUH))) but it was still enjoyable to watch. show's goal isn't to generate tension and competitiveness. it is more of a workshop/chemistry building camp and also a way to introduce the new generation and get the fans warm up/attached to them.

as i spent time in bl fandom sphere, i've come to realize introducing a new gen is tricky. i thought everyone would be ecstatic to see new blood and a lil bit of mix and match but BL fans are reaaaaaaaaaaally attached to their faves and generally see newcomers as threats who will take opportunities from their already neglected (!) precious babies (e.g. just couple weeks ago FortPeat fans were protesting the new lesbian side couple in the upcoming show for stealing screen time from their faves, which is a joke in itself). this kind of show is genius way to get people to warm up to idea of new faces. at the end of the the day, these fans' weakness is two beautiful boys indulging in sweet moments they can be delulu over and considering how ships were already born from the first episode, DMD FTR succeeded in their goal.

LETS TALK ABOUT THE BOYS :-) *this starts playing*

I had to make this during first ep bc they are all dark haired boys w similar builds so I kept confusing them lmaoooooo (Tle not pictured as he joined later)

i will firstly talk about the fan favorite possible "couples";

KengNamping, the quiet visual couple and yes I love em!!!! they were kinda the only "conflict" in this very conflict free competition.

is Keng the CALMEST person I've ever seen? Latte is laid back too but Keng is just seems zen. sometimes (in the face of conflict) he just seemed hard to read but mostly he has such a calming presence. honestly, he should open an ASMR channel if this acting gig doesn't work out.

Namping also comes off very warm and graceful. him being "wow I'm finally in the winner suite" to Keng after finally getting chosen in ep4 made me laugh like DAMN he really was offended by what happened in ep1 and kept letting it slip. Idc, you are so right my prince and don't ever let Keng forget what he did to you...

when it comes to the possibility of them as a couple: i am kinda here for it while also not knowing if i actually believe in their "moments" in the show? Namping definitely set his sights on him from the beginning but Keng seemed nonchalant about it. Keng finally choosing Namping after his win, their sweet moment on the bed etc. seemed to me like classic reality show moment prompted by production to fit a certain narrative WHILE ThomasKong's pseudo-date-night chats seemed very real and spontaneous.

they do visually have chemistry, i'm not gonna act like i wasn't blushing when Keng trying to flirt during dinner or Namping softly touching a sleepy Keng's chin in the bed etc. Or even in ep2, when Namping tries to confront Keng about his pick but they are too timid and just unable to talk about it openly!!! arrghhh it's a hard to watch moment but still, made them more intriguing because they had such a tension between them. it would be a shame if it wasn't explored more. that tension can be channeled into an angsty series, just saying...

So, they def have a long way to go in their bond and arent comfortable like LatteFirst or ThomasKong but still, they are a strong contender and I would be glad to see them as a couple in a show. Namping already got my attention in the acting challenge and wonders can be achieved w a lil bit of workshop. they got the juice already!!!

Now, lets talk about ThomasKong.............

me watching Thomas relentlessly chatting Kong up since THE FIRST EPISODE

so I knew LatteFirst are set be a side couple in upcoming Love Upon a Time but i was confused to see why everyone on Twitter was already going cuckoo over these two random boys until i saw them interacting... Wow, like Thomas really came here w one mission: get Kong and leave.

because Thomas is such a flirt like DAMNNN😳😳😳😳he needs to be jailed for carrying lethal amounts of charm... IT MUST BE SAID: I love his fits w those thin glasses, he should've been wearing those in those office BLs he was in because he has been serving "office siren". Tiktok girlies eat your heart out.

while Kong isn't the best at acting or singing (he is the best KengNamping shipper tho and i LOVE a fudanshi BL actor), he definitely would win Mr. Congeniality if they were giving that title. he naturally and effortlessly has great on screen charisma. he is a certified cutie and the only one who can get real full belly laughs from Thomas!!!

i think what they managed in the acting challenge is the testament to their palpable chemistry. acting wise they weren't perfect (naturally, their uneven acting experience levels were apparent) but they were the only one who managed to tonal shift in their scenes. it's because they were the only ones who played into the romantic subtext of the scene. they also held eye contact for the longest (because they are comfortable w each other and not shy!!!), which elevated their chemistry and made me AND the judges giggle and roll our hair and kick our feet and shit!!!!!!!!!!!!

they are obviously the most likely to win the show and they deserve it too. no matter the result of the show, i want see them carrying a series as mains because they can and should. i also believe DMD won't fumble their bag, so i am not worried about it.

to conclude, I will quote Zee,

then we come to LatteFirst, the kinda established couple: in the ep5 preview, we see First trying to choose between Latte and the newcomer Tle, which seemed random to me and could be a production touch to create conflict in this very smooth sailing show.

i loved seeing Latte being nonchalant about the possibility of First choosing someone else, what a laid back guy. like Mio in THC, every BL reality show needs a half asleep and occasionally funny dude.

now i am thinking; what if First chose Tle, would he also replace Latte in LUAT bc DMD doesn't really fuck w mixing matching their couples. i honestly don't know where did all that come from but i feel like the result wont be too shocking, First and Latte are already really close and comfortable and got The Chemistry. need i remind of Latte punching the air a la Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club when it was announced they both chose each other for the dinner date? and their sweet and comfortable banter on that said date??? let's put our pens to work and write a friends to lovers rom-com for the boys based on that material please...

i dont think they are likely to win but might be strong contender. i just want to see them as a side couple in LUAT (hopefully this year!!!!) so they can develop themselves and their bond a little bit more before getting to a main couple level. their sweet friendship shouldn't go to waste!!! (is it obvious i am more drawn to BL couples who are besties in real life?)

damn this post is about to be a novella so i will make it short about Gems, TeeTee and Tle, i hope Gems won't be too upset about getting slighted again 😥 like i said, stakes aren't high on this show and results are always obvious: these guys are going back home empty handed, we all know it. they are all charismatic and VERYYY talented but i just felt like none of them really focused on "getting a partner" part of the show, not just the main challenges. even TeeTee who was picked by Thomas and Keng seemed kinda uninterested about partnering up. but you cant really force chemistry and i am sure they will get many more opportunities in the future. they already started their fanbase!!! i cant stand to see Gems so upset, i hope he wont be too sad.

these are my opinions. maybe the ending will do a whole 180 and idk, GemsKeng or TleKong or some other random couple will win, who knows???? cant wait to watch the new overly airbrush filtered, Cheewin directed DMD show up to like 5 episodes and then get bored and drop it and follow the rest from gifs!!! good luck to the boys <3

[matan4il]

OK, this is gonna be a mess, but I hope it makes sense because I am curious about your thoughts.

So the 911 talk about Buddie being best friends and all other comparable relationships always is so curious to me. Because we have all different versions of relationships on this show. So on the best friend level it's always Chim and Hen vs Buddie ad why Buddie is "just friends".

But I always forget that actually the better best friend category is Buddie vs Bobby and Michael. So here's my point. Hen and Chim are best friends, yes, but they lack the intimacy of being involved a lot in the other person's kids life because you know that's normal boundaries.

However Michael and Bobby did have to navigate that. How you interact and play off that balance of beaties but also co caregivers. How were they written? Well, exactly that.

Michael and Bobby were a couple of scheming BFFs. At first you had Athena babysitting them in instances like the bank robbery. Then you had them dealing together with Michael's illness. When David came along it was clear he was Michael's partner Bobby his BF. When they dragged David into their undercover operation he acted accordingly. Lovingly exasperated at these 2. And at the end the story was still Michael and David's. Just like at the end of every conflict it is Bathena.

So yes the writers could have chosen to write Taylor and Anna as appropriate partners we barely see. Anna as an excuse for why we don't see Christopher as much when Gavin can't film. Taylor around when the story needs a reporter. They could have kept the tightness of Buddie together bit they didn't.

Anyways I hope that makes sense because as I am re-watching it just became clear to me that like yes if any friendship is like Buddie it's more Michael and Bobby and yet they made completely different choices in the style.

Hi lovely Nonnie! Thank you for this ask!

I'm gonna confess, I think I did compare Buddie with Bobby and Michael in at least one meta post, but I'm not sure now which one... I'm almost positive it was a weekly meta. If not, you might find it in one of my other Buddie meta posts.

But to get into why we don't see this comparison a bit more, I think first, we've had a lot less Michael & Bobby content than what we got with Hen & Chim. Second, I also think the fact that in both Buddie and Chim and Hen being friends who are ALSO work-colleagues helps us keep that element "neutralized" when making that comparison. No one can claim the reason why Buddie are intense as a friendship while Hen & Chim are different is that Buddie constantly run into fires together, while Hen & Chim only did it once.

That said, and even with these two points in mind, I agree that there are elements to Bobby & Michael's friendship that make it delicious to compare to Buddie's and see, once again, how what Buddie have is different. How they're written to be different. Nobody does soulful stares and domestic and desperate spouse behavior quite like Buddie. They have left "just friends" land a long time ago...

Thank you for this ask! I hope my reply was helpful. Have a beautiful day! And as always, here's my ask tag. xoxox