#I don’t want my thoughts to be scrambled and for people to not understand me

[cherrysnax]

hello hi howdy what do u do when feel ur like brain deteriorating asking for a friend

[ahsokaismyqueen]

Stay Stay Stay Pairing - Tyler Owens x Fem!Reader Summary - Until you met Tyler, you'd only had shitty boyfriends who would leave at the first sign of trouble or when you started to get too attached. Tyler Owens however is there to show you that he's in it for the long run, even when he finds out you're pregnant with his child. Word Count - 4.5k Warnings - Pregnant Reader, but this is just 4k words of pure fluff based on Taylor Swift's Stay Stay Stay ngl.

You woke up feeling miserable. You had barely gotten any sleep, staying up most of the night crying, and all you could think about was how stupid the fight you and Tyler had seemed now. You glanced over at the clock on your bedside table, and shot up when you realized how late it was. Tyler might have already gone, and now you wouldn’t get the chance to say how sorry you were. The fear of that gripping your chest had you rolling out of bed and out the door. What you saw in the hallway however, had you stopping in your tracks. 

 As soon as you shut the door behind you, Tyler jolted awake from his spot on the floor, rubbing his eyes. He was still in his clothes from last night, the button up and jeans, complete with cowboy boots. “You stayed out here all night?” You asked, emotion tight in your throat. 

Tyler looked up at you, brushing his hair back from his face. “Of course I did. Didn’t know if you might need me or not after those nightmares you’ve been having.” 

“But - but I threw something-”

“Your phone.” He informed you. 

Heat rushed to your face in embarrassment. “-My phone at you.” 

“I don’t know if I’d really say ‘at me’. If so, your aim was pretty off for someone who used to play baseball.” He said, and he started to move so he could stand up. 

Before he could though, you bent down and scrambled into his lap, wrapping your arms and legs around him as the tears fell down your cheeks. 

He let out a surprised grunt, but put his arms around you as well. “To be honest, not the greeting I was expecting this morning.” He said in a strained voice, probably because you were squeezing him so tight. 

“I thought you left already, and I didn’t want you to leave mad at me, because if something happened to you out there. . .” You wondered if he could even understand you with the way your tears messed with your breathing, but you had to tell him. The thought of him leaving while the two of you were mad at each other made you feel sick. 

“Hey,” Tyler started running a hand through your hair, the comfort of the motion easing into you. “I wasn’t about to leave without talking to you. I told them I’d catch up.” You closed your eyes as you felt his lips against the side of your head. “And you know I can’t leave without my good luck kiss.” 

You pulled back so you could look at him when you said this. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I got so mad. I’ve just been all over the place lately, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m mad one second, the next I’m sobbing, then I can’t keep my eyes open, and the next second I feel like I’m going to die if I’m not jumping your bones-”

Tyler reached up and brushed your tears away with his thumb. “That one’s my favorite.” He said with a smirk. 

You leaned forward, resting your forehead against his. “I think I’m going crazy.” 

“Baby, you chase tornados in your spare time. Pretty sure by most people’s standards you are crazy,” he said, putting some hair behind your ear. 

You shook your head, and playfully smacked him in the chest. “I’m serious. I mean I know I get a little crazy around-” the thought hit you like a freight train. “Tyler, what’s today?” 

His brow furrowed, his smirk turning into a frown. “Sunday . . .”

“No! I mean what day of the month?” Were the calculations you were doing in your head right? Had the time passed that quickly? 

“It’s the 11th. Why?” 

Oh god. You gripped his face in your hands. “Ty, I’m late.” 

Tyler squinted at you. “Did you have somewhere to go . . . ?” 

You shook your head, your eyes wide with panic. “No, Tyler. I’m late.” You grabbed one of his arms and put his hand on your stomach, giving him a significant look. 

It was funny, how you could almost see the gears moving in his mind. It was like when he was trying to decide what storm to chase. You could tell the exact moments your words and actions landed. His eyes widened, and he glanced down at your stomach, then you. “You’re late . . . For that?” 

You nodded, watching his face for his reaction. It was an accident of course. The two of you tried to be careful, but one night a couple of months ago after an insane chase . . . The adrenaline got the better of both of you. While you had known you could get pregnant, you thought the chances of it happening the one time you didn’t use protection couldn’t be that high. Well, the universe might be proving you wrong. You weren’t sure how you felt about the possibility, but you were damn sure terrified of what Tyler might be thinking. 

You didn’t need to be. 

A slow grin started to spread on his face, and within seconds you found yourself hoisted over his shoulder and into the air. 

Letting out a little shriek, you grabbed a hold of his shirt. “Tyler! Put me down!” 

“Can’t! Got to go buy a pregnancy test.” He said, giving you a smack on the ass that made you squeal again. 

“We can’t! I’m not wearing pants!” 

“You don’t need pants to take a pregnancy test!” He said. 

A laugh left your lips at that, but then you smacked his back to get his attention. “Ty, what about the crew? They’re waiting on you. I can take the test, and call you-”

He put you down then, his hands holding your face and making you look at him. “If you think there is anything more important to me right now than this, you’re wrong.”  

It almost embarrassed you that you had thought for even a second any different. “I might not be, you know? I could actually be losing my mind.” 

Tyler shrugged. “Either way, there’s no place I’d rather be right now than here with you.” He said, sliding his hands down to grab your own, then leaned forward to give you one of the sweetest kisses you’ve ever had in your life, all gentle and tender, enough to almost bring tears back to your eyes. “Now, there’s my good luck kiss.” He said once he pulled away. 

“And what do you need good luck for, huh Owens?” You asked, raising your eyebrows at him. 

He smirked at you. “I’ll tell you later.” 

And he did. In about five months after he shot fireworks up in a tornado to reveal you were having a boy, just like he wanted. 

————————

“Ty! I can pick up potatoes. I’m barely showing.” You said, shaking your head at him as he dived in front of you to get the sack of potatoes before you could. 

He put them in the grocery cart, leaning over it and crossing his arms. “See, I know that, but the gentleman in me won’t let the woman carrying my son do something as lowly as pick up potatoes.” 

You rolled your eyes. It was sweet, but you knew it was also going to drive you crazy. “If you don’t let me do some things I might murder you in your sleep. I hope you know that.” 

Tyler raised his eyebrows at you, pretending to look confused. “Then who would reach all the stuff on the top shelf?” He asked, his expression morphing into a smirk as you crossed your arms over your chest. 

“I guess I’ll have to find another tall, handsome cowboy. Shouldn’t be too hard.” You teased, and then grabbed the cart, pushing it past him. 

He stopped you, grabbing you around the waist, holding you back against his chest and pressing a kiss against your neck. “Unfortunately, you’ll find I’m very hard to replace.” He murmured against your skin. 

You couldn’t help but laugh, elbowing him in the side. “All right cowboy, if you’re going to not let me pick anything up heavier than three pounds, go do me a favor and get the water. Lily said you guys are running low, and the weather conditions for the weekend look rough.” 

Tyler pressed another kiss against your neck, and then let you go. “Whatever you say ma’am.” 

You watched him walk away, a sight you always enjoyed in those jeans, then hurried up to get as many of your groceries as you could before Tyler came back to not let you do anything again. 

“Well, look who it is.” 

Oh god, you knew that voice. It was one you hadn’t heard in years now, and one you hoped never to hear again. You almost didn’t want to turn around so you could pretend it wasn’t there, but you knew this person wasn’t going to allow that to happen. It would hurt his ego too much. Turning around, you let out a sigh at the familiar face. “Hey, Charles.” 

Your ex was a dick. In fact almost all of your exes were dicks. Until you started dating Tyler, you hadn’t known what it was like to date someone that put you above themselves. Charles was no different. In fact, he was one of the worst, and the way he was looking at you right now made you want to throw up. Or maybe that was the morning sickness . . . 

“I’ve got to say,” he looked you up and down. “You’re looking good.” 

Nope, it wasn't morning sickness. “Thanks.” You replied, moving your cart so you could go around him. Hopefully you could make a quick escape and pretend this whole interaction had never happened. “It was good seeing you.” Lies. 

He grabbed the cart, stopping you in your tracks. “Wait a second. Don’t you think we should catch up some? I mean it’s been-”

“Five years.” You answered, your hands squeezing the handle of the cart. 

He smirked. “You kept track?” 

You wanted to smack that expression off his face, “to celebrate.” 

The nice facade faded upon your words. “You know, I thought maybe you’d changed over the years, but it seems like you’re still a-”

“Got the waters!” You breathed a quick little sigh of relief as Tyler came to a stop beside you, carrying not one, but two packs of water. He placed them in the cart, flipped his baseball cap around backwards, and put his hand on the small of your back. “Who’s this?” Tyler asked with his charming grin. 

You took a step closer to Tyler, not because you were scared of Charles, but because you liked the comfort of his presence. Something you never felt with the douche in front of you now. “You remember me telling you about Charles? This is him.” 

To Charles, Tyler showed no response to the name, but you felt the hand on your back press a little harder against your skin. Tyler turned to look at you, and there was a little glimmer in his eyes when he spoke. “I don’t actually. Are you sure you’ve mentioned someone named Charles before?” 

You had to bite back a smirk once you realized what he was up to. “Yeah, I think so.” You played along. 

“Hmmm, I must not have thought it was that important. Anyway, Tyler Owens.” He held out his hand to Charles, and you watched Charles’s face with delight. Not only had Tyler made him feel unimportant, something you knew from experience he couldn’t stand, but Tyler was . . . a big man. At least a foot taller than Charles, and more muscles on him than this guy could ever hope to have. You didn’t however expect the look of disbelief that crossed his face. 

“Tyler Owens? The tornado wrangler?” He asked, almost too shocked to shake his hand, but then he collected himself and reached for Tyler’s. 

“The very same.” He said. “Though I’ve got to say, I think my favorite title is her future husband.” He said, nodding his head back to you. 

Heat flushed straight to your face at the bold statement. Tyler and you hadn’t talked much about marriage. You had thought that might be the logical next step, but you also didn’t want to bring it up if it scared him away. With past boyfriends, including the one in front of you, it always had. You should’ve known by now though that Tyler was nothing like that. You leaned into him more now, smiling as his arm went around you and his hand rested on your stomach. 

“Her future-” Charles looked dumbfounded, and you also didn’t miss the wince when Tyler shook his hand probably more roughly than necessary. 

“Got to lock her down, you know? Plenty of other idiots have already let her go. I’m not going to make the same mistake.” Tyler replied, giving you a smile full of mischief. 

You placed your hand on top of the one he had on your stomach. “Ty, I’m having your baby. I don’t think you have to worry about that.” You assured him, your smile widening as he kissed your cheek. 

“You’re - you’re pregnant?” 

You’d almost forgotten Charles was there with Tyler’s sudden proclamation, but his words pulled your attention back to him. Turning to the side, you let him see the slight curve to your stomach. “Yep. Four months to go before we meet our baby boy.” 

As soon as you said the words, Tyler’s face lit up with genuine excitement like it always did. “I can’t wait.” He turned back to Charles, putting both of his arms around you protectively now. “How do you two know each other again?” Tyler asked, and once again you had to fight back a laugh. 

“It doesn’t matter.” You said, looking back up at Tyler with a soft smile. “We need to be getting out of here anyway right babe?” 

“Yes ma’am. Well, it was nice to meet you, Chuck.” Tyler said, stepping back from you so he could grab a hold of the cart with one hand, taking your hand in the other. 

You couldn’t hold your laughter back anymore at that point, entwining your fingers together as you followed him to the register, leaving Charles standing dumbfounded in your wake. 

________________

It was the thing you had been the most scared of happening. You had no one else to blame other than yourself though. You were the one who had insisted that Tyler go on the chase. It was supposed to be a large storm, and you reminded him that it was the last one he’d probably go on for a while since the season was ending, as was your pregnancy. You had faith that he would be careful, knowing that he wouldn’t risk anything that would endanger him from meeting his son. 

What you hadn’t expected however, was your water to break three weeks early. 

It was safe to say you were panicking when you called your sister to come get you, and by the time they wheeled you back to your room, you were close to a full blown meltdown. “I can’t do this without him.” You told her, holding your stomach as if that could keep him in, tears streaming down your face. “And he’s at least five hours away! What if I don’t have that long?!”

Your sister, who was more calm than you, grabbed your hand, giving it a squeeze. “He will make it, I’m sure. You’ve texted him right?” 

You bit your lip, and when your sister gave you a look, you blurted. “I didn’t want to ruin his chase! I thought I’d wait to see if the doctor was even going to take me!” 

“Oh my god.” She reached into your bag and grabbed your phone. You held out your hand for it, but she was already texting away. “There, done.” 

“What did you say?” 

But she didn’t answer, instead she waited about ten seconds and said, “he said he’s on his way.” 

You nodded, watching as she put your phone back in your purse. God you hoped he was going to make it. The thought of doing this without him was terrifying. You were already scared enough that something was wrong because of how early he was. Having to have this baby without Tyler by your side, reassuring you the whole way, seemed impossible. 

A few minutes later, while you were lost in your thoughts, the door to your room opened and a nurse walked in. “Hey, honey, how’re we doing?” 

“She’s panicking.” Your sister replied for you. 

You glared at her. “My boyfriend, he’s - he’s not going to be able to get here for a few hours, do you think I have that long?” 

She gave you a sympathetic smile. “Well that’s according to him I’d say, because I speak from experience when I say babies don’t wait for no one.” She said. 

Oh god, he wasn’t going to make it. You just knew it. He wasn’t going to make it in time, and you would have to try and do this without him, and you didn’t think that you could. You needed him. You needed him so badly it added to the pain you were already in, and the worst part was that it was your fault. If you hadn’t forced him to go on that chase - 

“I’m here, I’m here!” 

To your complete and utter shock, Tyler came sliding into your room, taking his cowboy hat off and hurrying to your side. 

“Ty?” Was all you could think to say.

“Did I miss anything?” Tyler asked, taking your hand in his own and looking at your nurse. 

“Dad, I assume?” The nurse said with a smile. 

Tyler beamed at the use of the word. “About to be.” 

“In that case, you haven’t missed a thing yet. We’re about to take some vitals and get this show on the road.” She informed him. “Glad you could make it.” She said, and left your room. Your sister, sensing the two of you needed some alone time, followed close behind. 

Once they had both left, your thoughts caught up to your brain, and you squeezed Tyler’s hand. “Tyler Owens, I’ve never been more happy to see you in my entire life, but how the hell did you get here so fast?” 

He gave you an affectionate smile, and reached up to wipe away the tears you didn’t even know you’d still been crying. “Yeah, so about that chase . . . I never went.” 

“You - you what?” 

He started stroking the back of your hand with his thumb. “You were less than a month away from having our son. I knew you’d blame yourself if I didn’t go, but I also knew if something happened while I was away . . . You’d blame yourself too. So I just . . . stayed at a hotel the past couple of nights.” 

You couldn’t even be mad. He knew you too well, and the relief you felt that he was here to help you was too much to be upset. “I was so scared you were going to miss it.” 

“Not for the largest tornado in the world baby.” Tyler said, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss it. “You ready to do this?” He asked as they started wheeling in the equipment. 

Not five minutes ago you were horrified. The effect of Tyler’s presence on your emotions was remarkable. With him by your side, you had no doubts that you could do this. You could have this baby. “Now that you’re here? Definitely.” 

Tyler leaned forward to give you the last kiss the two of you would have before you were parents, the smile on his lips unmistakable. 

————————

“He looks so much like you it’s like you birthed him.” You said with a tired laugh. It was god knows how many hours later, you had never been more tired in your life, and somehow you and Tyler had squeezed into your tiny hospital bed. You were leaning against his shoulder, eyes glued to the baby he held in his arms that was looking up at you both curiously. 

“Not completely. I know that nose anywhere.” He said, gently tapping your son in the nose. Then, for the first time since his son had been placed in his arms, he looked at you, the unmistakable glint of tears in his eyes. “He’s perfect.” 

You knew that you were already emotional. You were exhausted, overwhelmed and a million other things at once, but the way Tyler was looking at your son, then at you? Your whole body seemed to light up with warmth. It was love all over his face, pure, intense love, and you didn’t think you’d ever be able to forget what it looked like again. You felt too choked up to speak, so you slipped your arm through his to curl your hand around his bicep, and turned your head to kiss his shoulder. 

A smile formed on your face as Tyler looked back at your son, that adoring expression not fading for a second. “This is the best day of my life so far.” 

“So far?” You said curiously. 

“Well, you haven’t agreed to marry me yet.” He replied, grinning over at you. 

Your smile widened, giving his arm a little squeeze. “Ty, you haven’t asked.” 

“I haven’t?” Tyler said, pretending to look confused. “It’s a great proposal. You’ll just have to wait and see.” 

You rolled your eyes, but the thought of Tyler proposing to you made you feel giddy. “Does it involve fireworks in a tornado?” You teased. 

He shook his head. “Nah, been there, done that. Boone would love it though.” Tyler shifted your son, who cuddled right against his chest. “By the way, the crew’s waiting outside with your sister.” 

You sat further up, wincing when you moved too quickly. “Jeez Tyler, how long have they been out there?” 

“Since they dropped me off.” He admitted. 

“You mean none of them went on the chase either?” You said in shock. 

Tyler shook his head again, “They said this was going to be better than any tornado.” 

Your throat clogged with emotion again, and you really hoped this crying at the drop of a hat wasn’t going to last long. “Go get them! They deserve to see him!” 

He reached up, brushing a tear away from your face. “Are you sure? I know how tired you are, and I can tell them to come back tomorrow.” 

“I can sleep when they’re gone. Right now I want them to see what they gave up a chase for.” You said, holding out your arms for the baby. 

Tyler leaned forward, giving you a kiss on your forehead and handing your son over as gently as if he was made of glass. You smiled as he snuggled right up to your chest, and knew that there was no better feeling in the world than this right here. When you looked up, Tyler was staring at the two of you as if he was trying to memorize this moment. “I love you.” He said finally. 

You felt like you could float at that moment, so light and loved. “We love you too.” You told him, and the softest smile formed on his face. “Go,” you told him before you started crying again. “We’re not going anywhere.” You joked. 

“You better not.” He played along, giving you a mock stern look, and then he went outside the door. 

Not ten seconds later you heard a cheer from outside your door, and you couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at their enthusiasm. Of course, they were shushed by nurses, and then Tyler brought them all in. 

You smiled at them as your sister, Lily, Boone, Dex and Dani’s eyes all went straight to the baby in your arms. Lily, Dani, your sister and Dex rushed forward to get a better look and started cooing over him, the biggest smiles on their faces while Boone hung back, eyes wide like he couldn’t believe the baby was a real thing.

“We got you guys something.” Dex said, holding up some familiar looking material as Tyler got back into the bed with you. He handed him the shirts, and Tyler unfolded them, letting out a laugh before showing them to you. It was similar to the normal shirts, but instead of Tyler’s face, it was a baby with a cowboy hat. That would have been hilarious enough, but instead of saying, “not my first tornadeo” it said, “this is my first babeo.” 

“Oh my god, it’s so cheesy. I love it.” You said with a laugh yourself. 

“We also got little man . . .” Dani held up a little onesie that said, “mini wrangler” on it with their tornado logo. 

You grinned, looking down at the bundle of cuteness in your arms. “It’s perfect.” You said, turning your smile to them. “Thank you guys for bringing Ty by the way, and staying. I would have understood if you all went on the chase.” 

“Are you crazy? We weren’t going to miss this.” Lily said, giving your son a little wave. 

Your eyes went over to Boone though, still standing back a little ways. The man who had gone into tornados and helped shoot fireworks and rockets up into them was looking at the baby in your arms like it was a bomb. “Hey Boone, you want to hold him?” You asked. 

“Oh, I don’t - I wouldn’t even know how-”

But Dani was already pushing him towards you. “It’s all right Boone, you got this.” You reassured him, sitting up a little more to hand him your son. 

“Make sure you get the back of his head.” Tyler said, watching with the eyes of a hawk as you gently placed him in Boone’s arms. 

“Woah.” Boone said, as he looked down at him. 

Tyler wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and now that your arms were free, you curled into his side, resting your head on his chest and wrapping your arm around his stomach. 

“T, man! He looks just like you!” Boone said, and you smiled at the excitement in his voice. 

“Except for the nose.” Tyler said, and you found your eyes closing as Tyler pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

He was so comfortable, and you were so tired. You felt yourself starting to drift off as his thumb brushed up and down your shoulder. It was hard not to when you felt so safe and loved, surrounded by your family, your new baby and the love of your life. 

Tyler could sense it, and he leaned down to whisper in your ear. “You want me to kick them out?” 

You shook your head, tightening your grip on him. “They can stay.” You murmured, nuzzling into him. “Make sure Boone doesn’t get too excited and drop our baby.” You joked. 

“Yes ma’am.” Tyler responded with a chuckle, pulling you closer. “You go ahead and rest. I'll be here when you wake up.” 

“I know.” You mumbled sleepily with a soft smile. “You always stay.”

[hanglimi]

fireworks - yu jimin

y/n finally got to make jimin do what she wanted, and it ended in a night that the both of them would never forget.

this is a part two of this fic!

TAGS - jimin x f! reader, fluff, slight angst, college au

WORDCOUNT - 2500~

WARNINGS - swearing, suggestiveness, THE amusement park date,

A/N - heyyyy guys, i'm sorry i was gone for like a month and a half. will i ever be consistent? no! but atleast enjoy this fic!

“go on a date with me.” 

you know you didn’t phrase it like a question–if you had even wanted to in the first place. it was more of a demand, and considering the fact that the girl in front of you had practically offered herself up to you, of course you weren't going to ask nicely and give her the opportunity to decline.

“that’s all?” jimin wondered aloud, her tone made it feel like she was making fun of your request.

you raise an eyebrow, reaching your hand out towards her own, holding it briefly–as if to enunciate your feelings. 

“if you want it so bad i could ask for much, much worse.”

she flushed red at the words and quickly backed away from you, shaking her hand violently before hitting the wall behind her with the force of her unknown feelings.

“i lied!” she sputtered, hot on her feet, quick to take the elevator down to her level.

“i’m perfectly fine with just a date!” she yelled down the hall as she entered the metal box, not noticing the multitude of heads that turned to observe her odd behaviour.

“she didn’t give me her number,” you mumbled, shutting the door as you laughed to yourself due to her idiocy.

“i’m still trying to wrap my head around this,” aeri said, her eyes overlooking the school’s campus, deep in thought. 

“you’re going on a date.” there was a pause, then a slight laugh, “with y/n? the girl who goes for anything that moves?”

“it wasn’t really an option, aeri, more of an order.” jimin’s head was on minjeong’s lap, enjoying the security and comfort it was giving her in this time of need.

“and of course you followed because you like being ordered around,” ningning giggled, teasing her friend.

“yeah, jimin.” minjeong agreed, shaking her head. “you know you could’ve easily disagreed with her offer, right?”

“you guys don’t understand because you weren’t there standing in front of her. it was her tone of voice–the way she was looking at me, i felt like i was drowning in a sea of y/n-”

“that's enough.” ning drawled and rolled her eyes, “i don’t want to hear about your sexual fantasies.”

“it’s not sexual!” jimin stressed, getting up from minjeong’s lap with speed, smacking the poor girl in the face with her hair. “it’s just a crush. a school crush, to be exact.”

“and you guys have already progressed so far in the five minutes of seeing each other to be going on a date.” minjeong said, rubbing her cheek softly with a pout on her face in pain.

“who knew jimin had more game than me,” aeri sighed, looking up at the sky and wiping an invisible tear from her eye. she stood up suddenly, clasping her hands together to create an abrupt sound.

“so?” the group looked on at her in collective confused silence. 

“when is the date? we have to prepare you for this.” aeri paced around the group, staring jimin down.

“oh my god, i forgot to get her fucking number,” jimin groans in realisation, her palms pressing into her face as she let her head fall back down into the shorter girl’s lap. this time, minjeong pushed her away, not wanting a repeat of several seconds ago.

“well then go get it, dumbass”

you let out a deep sigh as you stretched, raising your arms over your head, hearing a couple cracks release in your body as the morning sun rays forcefully entered your room through one of the closed curtains.

it was one of those rare days– the days where you weren’t scrambling to throw a party later in the evening. the days where you realised just how lonely you actually were when people weren’t drinking or smoking pot in your room. it’s not something you were particularly proud of, but either way, it was the only way you had succeeded in making lasting friends. even though half the things you and your friend group talked about with red eyes and running noses wouldn’t be remembered the following days. 

but thinking too hard about it was making your heart beat weirdly, and your lungs take in smaller amounts of air, so you ignored the thoughts and rubbed at your eyes as you made your way to your couch to catch up with your morning doom scrolling.

ten minutes in, and you were somewhat interrupted by a knock at the door, one which started off timidly but gained in volume the longer they knocked.

“whoever’s there, there's no party today!” you yelled, hoping the message got across.

after a pause, the knock sounded again, as loud as the other one ended, and you grumbled as you got up to go open it and tell the person off.

an unexpected face appeared in front of you, and you couldn't help but let out a wide smile. you could feel her eyes raking your body up and down, and while you did like a little bit of appreciation, you didn’t like how your skin started to heat up at her gaze, so you stopped her drooling short.

“what a nice gift for me at 1 in the afternoon.” you said, jimin standing in front of you, her phone held tightly in her grasp.

she slightly untensed at your words, and cocked her head. “you look like you just woke up, but it's literally 1pm.”

“a girl does what a girl needs to do” you shrug in response.

she shakes her head, and instead hands you her phone, open to a new contact page. 

“a woman with such little words, but such big actions.” you giggle, grabbing her phone, entering in your contact information. “i can get behind that.”

you hand her phone back and she just stands there, looking anywhere but your eyes. 

you raise an eyebrow, waiting for her to leave you to your devices.

“so, what’s your favourite first date spot? food-”

“oh don’t worry baby, i’ll be planning the date. just sit tight as i figure things out.”

you regret all your choices as you frantically search up on google “first date ideas.”

it’s not that you’d never gone on a date before. (you had only been on one, and honestly, it didn’t really count because the girl had to leave early anyways.) it's just that you had never gone on a date with a girl you liked this much.

jimin was an enigma to your brain–like fitting a square piece into a circle hole. she turned your heart inside and out, twisting and wringing it dry, and it’d last you through the whole day. the small amount of interactions you’ve had until this point have kept an eternal smile on your face as you create scenarios in your mind before sleeping. it’s never been like this before, and it’s definitely stressing, and scaring you. 

the flirty facade you’d been using on her can only last so long. and you just know it’d run out by the time you're on this date.

“not what I was expecting when you said you’d plan it all out.” jimin marvelled at the amusement park in front of her eyes, twisting and turning rails high up in the sky. 

“is it not to your liking?” while the way you said it had a teasing tone to it, you genuinely felt insecure as she looked around, viewing the experience.

“you know that's not what i meant.” she said, turning towards you, and gazing at your outfit. you were simply wearing a pink shirt and shorts (quite short shorts, but shorts all the same), but the way she was eating you up made you feel as though you had shown up naked.

you simply pushed her limp body towards the ticket line. one; to advance to the actual fun part of the date, and two; to get her damn eyes off of you.

the night was young, and you could tell jimin was excited by the way she was pulling your hand towards each of the activities, the smile on her face never fading. the joy she was exuding was enough to make your night as you simply watched her like a puppy observing its owner having fun. 

she looked back towards you as she ran ahead, her smile so wide it made your own lips curve up. the wind was hitting her face, making her hair flow in the same direction–all that made her look even more beautiful in your eyes. the tight feeling in your chest hadn’t gone away all night, and it wasn’t something you were used to. it was annoying you, because every time you got near the girl, your brain short circuited, your breathing close behind. this wasn’t like you, but you couldn’t say that you minded that much.

“let’s play this one y/n!” the girl screamed ahead of you, using both her hands and jumping up and down to wave you towards her. you let out a breath of happiness, and increased your pace, ignoring the tug of your heartstrings.

“this one?” you coughed, analysing the game. It was one of those ones that were bound to scam you out of your money. completely impossible, but you don’t think that’s why jimin was so eager to play it. 

the aim of the game was that one person had to wear a blindfold, holding the water gun up to the target’s level. the other player was to stand behind them, listing directions for the shooter to listen to and follow. this wasn’t the complicated part of the game–the game in itself wasn’t complicated at all honestly, just rigged. the part that got jimin so excited, so bouncy and giggly, was where the player who was directing the shooter had to wrap their arms around the other’s waist. (they definitely didn’t have to, and jimin only told you the truth after finishing the game.)

jimin was standing very close behind you. you could feel her hot breath on your neck, the hairs all over your body rising at the feeling. the clerk at the game stood there, an eyebrow raised at the your positions, but started the game anyway.

miss after miss, swear after swear, and you had ended the game with 2 points. a high score and the only score for the both of you. the ghost of her hands were still around your waist as the clerk signalled the game ending. you laughed at a comment jimin had made as you pulled the blindfold off of your face, shaking your head to properly get your hair out of your face. she stopped talking and looked at you for a quick second, before looking away and pulling you towards another game, thanking the man that stood behind the counter.

the two of you didn’t notice the clerk’s slight smile as he looked at the both of you, giggling and running away from his stand.

“young love,” he muttered into the night.

"no ferris wheel?” jimin asked you as you urgently pulled her along with you. she had dragged you to way too many stupid rides and games. well, they weren’t stupid, they were actually fun, but the whole reason you planned the date here was going to happen soon, and you had no time to waste anymore

“too boring,” you said, glancing back at her. “and i may just be deathly afraid of heights.” she laughed heartily, and you couldn’t help but grin widely at that.

you finally reached your final destination, which was an area of flat grass, where hundreds of other people sat, preparing for the show. you led her far off from any other people, and helped her sit down on the ground before lowering yourself too.

“so what did you bring me here for?” she asked, a questioning look in her eyes. she had hope in you–after all, today was the most fun she had had in days considering the amount she was studying beforehand. the grudge jimin held inside from you blasting music all day long was practically long gone. it was barely a thought she even remembered after spending this night with you.

“you trust me, right?” you stared at her in the eyes, holding her cheeks in your hands. she felt them warm up at the contact and nodded her head. “then just wait and see.”

so the two of you waited, and waited for what felt like eternity–which you wouldn’t have minded spending with jimin by your side–before you could hear people shouting in glee. you pointed upwards, redirecting jimin’s gaze to the sky, just as the first firework popped.

honestly, you think you watched the girl’s face more than the actual firework show, but the way her face lit up at each one gave you much more joy than any emotion gunpowder exploding could evoke in your body. she turned to you after a bit, and you swore you saw tears in her eyes before she hit your shoulder lightly and told you to watch the fireworks too. you listened to her for about 5 seconds, before turning to her again, capturing her face and drawing it pore for pore, line for line in your mind. that’s something that no matter how high or drunk you got, you would never forget.

the two of you had large grins on your faces as you walked out the amusement park exit, hands ghosting on top of the other.

“thanks for, you know,” you stand there and don't extrapolate, rubbing the back of your head in shyly. for the first time, you weren’t able to look into Jimin's eyes. there was something about the girl–something that was making the person you’ve hid inside for so long come back again.

“why are you thanking me?” jimin said, perplexed, and she didn’t like how she was staring at the side of your face, not at all.

“just for, like, actually coming out with me tonight.” you let out with a suspicious tightness in your chest, the intensity of her eyes was too much for you at this moment. “it was a great hangout-”

“hangout?” she cut you off, a frown forming on her face. “the deal was a date. i came out here with the mindset that this was a date.” 

“well, it could totally be a date!” you waved your hands in front of her, eyes wide as saucers–your entire demeanour screamed asking for forgiveness. “i just didn’t think you’d want it to be one. considering this wasn’t really done out of your will,” you mumbled, finally facing your body to look at her.

“i could’ve easily declined your request, y/n.” she stepped closer to you.

“i did this out of my own free will, y/n. i did it because I actually like you.” 

you froze at the comment, and the heat that was spreading all over your body decided to come up to your face, causing your cheeks to flush and a smile to break through your tight lipped mouth. 

“i’m glad,” you whispered in her ear, pulling her towards you until she was flush against your frame. the square piece that wasn’t fitting before had finally forced its way into the round hole–and you couldn’t have been any happier.

“because i definitely like you too.” you finished, and you swore that that night, another firework–not included in the show–had blown up in your heart.

A/N - why did i write this like one of them was going to die 😭😭

[teyums]

a/n: cats are so funny because they genuinely think they’re doing something nice for you when they drop a mouse at your feet as an offering and it’s actually the opposite. i was watching my cat play with her little toy and it just brought the terrifying memory back to me bc WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WANT THIS? As soon as the idea came i wrote it, Neteyam just seems like the type LMAOO 😭

neteyam x human!reader

It takes Neteyam quite a while to understand the difference between Na’vi women and human women, especially the difference in what you do and don’t like. But you can’t blame him, you don’t look like his kind, you don’t smell like his kind, hell, you don’t even dress like them.

The Na’vi’s behavior very closely resembles that of a house cat on earth— you’ve noted after studying how Neteyam’s emotions portray themselves through his expressive tail, how his ears dip when he’s angry or perk up when he’s excited, or how he purrs when you finally agree to sitting in his lap instead of your chair while you finish up your work for the day. With the innate behavior of the two creatures mirroring each other almost completely, it’s no surprise that this also heavily factors into what they deem as ‘gifts’ for their favorite human.

Just as housecats will fetch their humans dead animals or rodents as an offering to them, the Na’vi way isn’t too far from that. You hated so much as looking at dead animals, let alone being near them, but when your childhood cat, Loki, used to bring field mice into the home and drop them at the foot of your bed, at least it was small enough for you to scoop into a grocery bag with pinched eyes and a hand over your nose while you fought back the tears of sheer terror.

Most of Neteyam’s catlike nature rendered adorable to you, and while you were more than willing to learn more about the ways of his people, this new custom he’d introduced you to had your heart dropping out of your ass like a brick and your soul exiting your body as if you could do without it. It’s when he shows up to the lab, a dead boar strung over his back with the biggest, toothiest smile you’ve ever seen spread on his lips until a bloodcurdling scream wipes it clean off his expression.

“Oh my God, ‘Teyam, get it away, get it away!” You shrill, so startled you almost tumble out of your desk chair, the hairs on your neck standing straight up as you divert your attention from the animal that’s almost the size of your body, a panicked hand splayed over your rumbling chest and the other extended out, palm towards him.

“What? You don’t like it? Should I have gone with a hexapede (deer) instead?” His brows gather in the center of his forehead when he steps closer and you immediately yelp and scoot back, the metal wheels of your chair screeching against the smooth tile with the effort of your retreat. He’s wholeheartedly confused, because any woman of his kind would find such a gesture as this one beyond thoughtful, and even romantic. Catching one of these things isn’t easy, and a clean kill with an arrow through the heart as to not rupture or damage the meat of the animal is even harder.

“I even skinned it for you!” He urges with a pout.

Your involuntary squeal interrupts his attempt to convince you as you fan your face with your hands, but it seems as if he’s still having trouble understanding.

“Perhaps I should have roasted it as well…” He ponders to himself with a hand pinching his chin, deep in contemplation while he keeps his catch over his shoulder and his eyes cast toward the wall, completely missing the way your trembling hands scramble over your desk for something to launch at him.

“GET IT OUT!”

He winces at the pitch of your shriek, astounded by how that loud of a sound could come out of such a tiny being. His brows raise before he quickly ducks to dodge the one-subject notebook that flaps past his head in a blur of fluttering paper, and he hurriedly obliges your wishes with a few steps back and a rushed ‘okay, okay!’.

Likes + Comments + Reblogs are much appreciated 💗

©teyums 2023

[hargreeves-duncan]

hi!! i would like to request a Viktor Hargreaves x fem!reader period comfort (fluff)? i’m currently going through my cycle and really would love some comfort from my fav boy, totally understandable if you don’t want to do this :] <33

a/n: thank you for your request!! period comfort fics are my LIFELINE when i’m on mine so i totally get it. it's a little short but i hope that you love it nonetheless❤️

summary: your boyfriend always knows how to comfort you

warnings: none!

word count: 1.0k

It had been a really long day. The second day of your period was famously the worst and it was just your luck that you had been scheduled for tonight's evening shift, when Hotel Obsidian’s bar was at its busiest. Bartending was a drag at the best of times, but tonight you could not be bothered.

By the end of your shift, you were sick of socialising and you couldn’t bear to have another person even look at you. Your feet were aching in your stupid, uniform-code shoes and your entire body felt like it had an anchor weighing it down.

You ran your hands through your hair, undoing the work of the gel that had slicked it down all evening. Everything was feeling like a sensory overload right now and the sticky feeling of your hair on your head along with the throbbing in your head and stomach was proving to be too much.

The rest of the evening’s staff had gone up to bed, having been replaced by those unlucky enough to be working the graveyard shift, and in the late hours of the evening, the sky had turned dark. You took the elevator, selecting the floor of Viktor’s room.

As you walked down the corridor, you couldn’t help but feel grateful, knowing that you’d get to spend the rest of the night and morning in the arms of your boyfriend. The door to your room popped open with a gentle click.

As if sensing your presence, Viktor sat up in bed on his elbows, “Y/N?” He called, squinting at the darkness that covered the room.

Your voice croaky, you mumble a quiet ‘hi’. You toss your room key onto the table and hold onto its matching chair as you slip your shoes off, one by one, throwing them behind you. Viktor smiled gently at you, pushing himself up and resting against the headboard.

You slip off your uniform and Viktor watches you with a gentle smile as you change into more comfortable clothes. Noticing your wiped out demeanour, his eyes soften and he opens his arms for you, “You look tired...”

“Mm… that's because I am,” You say, crawling into bed next to him, “I’m sick of people today.”

He pulls the covers up over your chest, wrapping you up warmly. He pecks your cheek, brushing your hair from your face, “I’m sorry.” He says, his hand moving under the covers to gently rub your lower abdomen.

You sigh happily, leaning your head on him. You smile, “Don’t be sorry. It’s not your job to be sorry.”

Viktor continued to rest his hand on your tummy, hoping his touch would provide you with some comfort, “No, I know, I just… it sucks, you know?”

You hum in agreement as Viktor followed his words up by asking, “What about your cramps? Have they gotten any better?”

He asked, running his hands over your bare skin. His fingers ran back and forth over you, matching the pace of your breathing. You nod, “A little.”

Viktor nodded, cooing softly, “Good, that’s good.” You shifted so that your head rested on his chest, letting you spend a moment, taking in the sound of his breathing. It’s peaceful at this time of night, but, despite the relaxed atmosphere, you still couldn’t settle.

You started to fidget. You fussed over the feeling of your hoodie on your body, the drawstrings were starting to annoy you. You pouted, letting out a small, “Hmph.”

Viktor looked down at your frowning face, “What’s wrong? Do you need me to get anything for you?”

You shake your head, but your pouting didn’t stop. After a moment, you sigh and turn, so that your face is buried in his chest.

“I really want scrambled eggs right now.” You mumble sadly, smacking your lips together as you thought of how good your salty craving would taste.

You felt the rumble of Viktor’s laughter beneath you. He looked down, tilting his head to the side, as he smiled, “Right now? It’s one in the morning.”

“Yeah, I know, but I just want them.” You laugh softly, burying your face against him and breathing in his scent. You felt the tension in your shoulders release.

“I don’t think they make them at this time of night,” Viktor moved his fingers up and began to run them through your hair. He hummed gently, “But I’ll get you some when you wake up, okay? I’ll order room service.”

“Kay.” You muttered softly. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, continuing to massage your scalp in gentle motions as you let out a small huff of frustration at having to wait a whole eight hours.

You sighed, curling up closer to him. His fingers gently began to trail up and down your back in soothing motions. You whined again, wiggling your hips to try and find a position that was comfortable.

He smiled amusedly, moving you so that you were lying on the bed. He began to get up, “You know… I can go and get you some Tylenol or something, if that’d help.”

“No!” You protest, wrapping your arms around his hips as you rest your head on him again, “Stay here, with me.”

Viktor laughed softly, running his hand through your hair again, “I’m not going anywhere crazy. I just want to get you something so that you can feel better.”

You shake your head, clinging to him tighter, “I don’t need it.” Your cheeks were looking a little sickly, and if you were honest with yourself, the pain was starting to make you feel sick, but you didn’t care right now.

Viktor shook his head, smiling at you, “Sometimes you can be so stubborn.” He said, pulling you closer to that you lay on top of him, your limbs tangling with his.

You shrug, smiling sleepily as you press a kiss to his lips, “Just let me have this.”

Viktor chuckled and nodded, pecking your lips again, “Alright.” You cuddle up to your boyfriend and before long, he can hear the soft sighs of you, sound asleep.

[bamboobooshark]

Hiiii I just found your page and omg I love your writing so much. I actually did get into an argument with my friend, and I deactivated one of my intas cuz of it (long and stupid story) but it was really comforting to read Logan wanting to coddle and comfort someone yk

You can ignore the request if it makes you uncomfortable, but do you think you can write something where the reader doesn't really know or understand what regression is or why they feel this way so they isolate when they feel childish or playful or start annoying people without realizing it and Logan who loves and cares for them starts to miss them and is like wtf and helps them.

Thank you for your writing I hope you have an amazing day.

LOGAN HOWLETT X LITTLE!READER

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ ☁️་༘ COMFORT & CONFUSION : 991 WRDS

<RATING : PG, VULENRABLE MOMENTS, CRYING>

A/N : Just a little note for Anon; I am so heavily greatful that my fic was able to bring you so much comfort. I hope you’re recovering well from what happened. Apologies for taking so long to get this out for you, I always get caught up in spilling and detailing my concepts that end up becoming full fics. I truly hope this fic is what you were hoping for <3 !!Warning for a pinch of angst and crying!!

You’ve been isolating yourself in your room since you woke up. You feel so confused with yourself, with your mind, with your feelings. You press your back against your headboard, legs crossed one on top of the other. You gently rock back and forth while struggling to understand how you’re feeling; why you’re feeling the way you do. Yeah, you’ve got a ton of energy right now. You feel like you’re letting your inner child express itself in your mind, yet you’re holding them in as best as possible. You’re terrified of annoying anyone by releasing those feelings, espically Logan. You bite and chew at your lips nervously as you rock a bit faster. Why? That’s the only question you can ask yourself right now. Over and over, your mind fills itself with nothing but confusion of why you feel like this, why you yearn to be so childish, why you’re scared of annoying Logan when he loves you unconditionally.

You’re quickly snapped out of your thoughts as the man knocks on the door. “Everything alright in there, kid,” he asks with his face pressed to the wood. God, the way he calls you kid only makes these foreign feelings harder to suppress. You choke back your tears before responding. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just feeling a little down,” you reply with a tone that’s involuntarily soft and childlike. Logan raises his brows at the way you speak to him. You’ve never kept yourself away like this, but he’s been noticing a pattern lately. You isolate yourself the moment you wake up, beg him to leave you alone, and then come out quiet and reserved. He continues to press because he misses you so damn bad. He’s willing to do absolutely anything to get you in his arms again. “Please tell me what’s wrong, bub. I promise I’m not going to be upset with you,” he pleads with the softest tone he can force out of his throat. “I mean, I’d be more upset if you didn’t trust me with whatever you’ve got going on,” he chuckles akwardly.

You wipe your tears before inviting him in. The second he realizes that you’re crying, his lips form a frown and his eyes give you a sympathetic gaze. “Hey, hey, hey. Don’t cry, baby. I’m right here. I’m not leaving, I swear,” he scrambles to reassure you, sitting on your bed and pulling you into his arms. You let your cries get thicker once you lean into his. He smells so fatherly. His large, calloused hands make your entire body shiver with comfort. Everything about him is sending an unknown, unfamiliar feeling that you’ve been yearning for. You can’t even begin to imagine what to call it, but your body allows you to relax under his touch. “That’s it, baby. Let it all out. Tell me what’s up once you’re ready to,” he coos as his hands rub up and down your back. You nod against his chest, letting the thumping of his heartbeat soothe you.

You pull back from his embrace, but hold his hands in your own. His touch is what you’ve been needing. Scratch that, you’ve been needing Logan in general. You attempt to try and explain things, but you end up stammering and stuttering. “I’m sorry, Logan. I just — I don’t even know what to say,” you apologize while looking away from him. He squeezes your hands gently and sighs. “You don’t need to apologize, kid. I’ll be here as long as you need me to be. If I have to wait here for hours for you to get your thoughts together, I don’t mind. You know that, bub,” he tells you sincerely. You look at him and give him the best smile you can considering the circumstances.

You take a deep, shakey breath after a few minutes of silence before attempting to describe your feelings. “I’ve just been feeling like a child lately. I’ve had so much energy and excitement and joy for no reason. It’s so confusing and it’s scaring me Lo, it really is. I just want an answer,” you explain to him. His thumb rubs against your knuckles lovingly before he presses a silent kiss to your forehead. “Oh, god, I’m so sorry. You’ve got such a big heart, kid. I need you to understand that you don’t need to be afraid to let those feelings loose around me. I’ll love you no matter what,” he promises while holding your face in his hands so you’re looking at him. You nod gently, eyes glossy and wide from the way he comforts you so paternally. “I understand,” you mumble back, letting that same childlike voice slip. Logan gives you a gentle smile, failing to hold back a snicker. “Well would you look at that. You sound so little, baby. It’s adorable,” he says while attempting to hold himself back from squeezing your face. You giggle softly and shake your head no. “It’s not adorable, Lo,” you protest. Your stomach knots as you allow yourself to slip into this pure, innocent state. As soon as Logan begins to coddle you further, that knot unties itself and becomes a flutter in your heart. “If you deny anything else I say, I’ll have to find a way to get back at you for it. You’re too damn cute to not accept that you are,” he playfully threatens. “C’mere you sweet thing,” he growls as he pulls you into his lap. “No! Let me go,” you giggle sweetly, squirming in Logan’s arms despite wanting to stay right where you are forever. “I’m not letting you go, kid. You’re mine. My sweet little thing that I’ll protect with my life,” he declares before starting to pepper your face with soft kisses. You can feel him smiling like an idiot against your skin from the sound of your giggles, the way you smile, and the warmth of your face caused by him.

[munsonslove]

Making Deals

(18+ only)

(part 2) •  (part 3)

summary: Your friendship with Eddie has always been give and take. He drives you somewhere so you make out with him, he pays for lunch so you let him give you a hickey. It had always been over the clothes, until one day he decided to up the ante.

wordcount: 3.4k

tags/warnings: fem!sub!reader, softdom!perv!eddie, friends to lovers, smut, praise kink (good girl), degradation (use of slut & whore), use of pet names (princess, baby, sweetheart), thigh riding, no use of y/n

a/n: this might be a little rushed cause i really wanted to get this out tonight, specifically so that i could say that it’s my BIRTHDAY which means you legally have to say nice things to me. anyway i’m gonna go get drunk with friends now, enjoy!

Most of your friends assume you two are fucking. It’s understandable, given how Eddie speaks to you. Every conversation is an opportunity for innuendo. The two of you live inside your own little world, and what the people outside of that bubble don’t know is that it’s all a game. Every sly comment, wink, brush of the hand, and “trade off” is him daring you to give in. And although he definitely already knows the effect he has on you, if you were to admit how much you want him it would be forfeiting. So your friendship became a game of cat and mouse, always one-upping each other, always teetering on the edge of something more but never really crossing that line.

No one would believe that you and Eddie were just friends if they knew about what went on behind closed doors. Your friendship had accidentally become a series of give and take. Every time you want something from him- be it free drugs, borrowing something, a ride, a favor, etc.- he would request something in return. That ‘something’ is more often than not perverted. In the beginning, he would ask for innocent things, like kisses on cheeks or hugs, but since growing older (and hornier) his requests became much more debauched. Chaste pecks turned into timed make out sessions, or giving you a hickey, or starting a collection of your bras. One time he even wanted to spit in your mouth, and the memory of feeling his saliva violently hit the back of your throat as he stood towering over you still haunts you in the middle of the night when your hand is between your thighs. You started asking for things from Eddie that you didn’t even really want, all for the sole purpose of having an excuse to do something lewd with him.

That’s how you found yourself here, in the living room of Eddie’s trailer, holding up some random tape you took from his bedroom that you didn’t even read the name of, bargaining about what you’ll have to do to borrow it for the weekend. You expected the basic ‘make out with me for twenty minutes’ or ‘let me feel you up over your shirt’, but to your surprise, he took it a step further this time.

“You want me to do what?” you exclaimed, not believing what you heard.

“Show me your tits,” he says with a wave of his hand, like this was a completely normal request, as if he did nothing more than ask you to pass him a plate during dinner.

Sure, you had done a lot of sexual things with him in the past, but it all included having your clothes still on. Just the thought of disrobing yourself in front of Eddie had your mouth watering.

“Are you serious?” you ask, trying as best as you can to keep your face neutral and not betray how turned on the mere suggestion had you.

“As a heart attack,” he answered.

“That’s pretty expensive, just for a little tape,” you counter. “That’s like… ‘I want to borrow the van’ prices.”

He shrugs. “Well, the market’s changing sweetheart. Costs are going up.”

Feigning boldness, you drop the tape onto the couch and cross your arms in front of your torso before untucking your oversized t-shirt from your skirt and lifting it over your head, tossing onto him. It lands covering his head, and he quickly scrambles to remove the garment, not wanting to miss a second of the show. Underneath was a light blue cotton sports bra. It wasn’t the sexiest, but that didn’t stop the boy in front of you from wolf-whistling, bringing a light blush to your cheeks. Taking one final deep breath for confidence, you pull the remaining fabric off of you.

Holding the bra in one hand, now bare from the waist up, you bend over to pick back up the tape and smirk when you notice Eddie’s awestruck gaze locked onto your naked chest. Slipping the cassette into your bag hanging from the door handle, you move to redress yourself, but are abruptly stopped.

“Wait!” Eddie calls out frantically.

“A deals a deal,” you complain while rolling your eyes. “You had your show, feel lucky I actually took my top off instead of doing a quick little flash.”

“What do you want for me to touch them?” he asks, completely ignoring your previous statement.

This takes you completely by surprise. “Wh- what?” you stutter out.

He’d never initiated before, it was always you asking for a favor and him telling you what he wanted. On top of that, he always had a nonchalant air about him when he made these deals, like he couldn’t care less whether or not you let him bruise up your neck with his teeth. This eagerness wasn’t just rare, it was unheard of. And you feel a sense of pride when you wonder if this meant you had finally had the upper hand, at least for tonight.

“You heard me,” he responds, his eyes never leaving your body. He sticks out his tongue to wet his lips, and the action has you suddenly forgetting all about your want to be in control. “Whatever it is, name your price.”

“Um…” you start, thinking through all the possibilities. Truthfully, there wasn’t much more you wanted from your friend other than for him to mercilessly ravish you, but you couldn’t very well tell him that while remaining indifferent. So instead, you rake your brain trying to come up with anything that would seem like a semi-fair trade. “You have to be available to give me rides at any time for the rest of the week. And,” you interject, pointing your finger in his face directly between his eyes, “You have to let me play my music. Whatever I want, no complaining.”

“Mhm, for sure,” he mumbles, still distracted by your partial nudity. The fact he didn’t raise his brows and make a comment about how he’ll ‘give you a ride anytime you want, princess’ lets you know just how in deep he truly is. You suspect he would have agreed to anything.

“Ten minutes,” you add, as this was usually the point in which you two would work out the specifics of the deal. How long, what was off limits, that kind of thing.

“Thirty minutes,” he negotiates.

You’d let him feel you up for hours, if you were being honest with yourself. Imagining his calloused fingertips gliding against the soft supple flesh of your chest makes your thighs involuntarily squeeze together, but you refuse to let how desperate you are for him show. “Twenty,” you supply, and he seems pleased enough with this compromise.

He forgoes answering you aloud, and instead nods his head rapidly while raising his hands into the air and making grabby motions like a child. Stifling your laugh, you glance behind you to the wall clock and take note of the time.

“Okay, it’s 6:15 now,” you begin, “So when the big hand’s on the seven, your time is up.”

“Yup, uh huh, got it,” he says.

You hesitate for a moment until he gestures you over to himself, and you square your shoulders before taking a seat on his lap. Your skirt flares out as you perch yourself on top of him, and your legs are puzzle-pieced together with one of his thighs in between the both of yours. His hands tickle your side as they slowly trail up your waist, before settling just under the fat of your breasts. Holding your breath, you brace yourself for him to make his next move, and swallow a moan when his nails scratch up your skin, his fingers moving on either side of your nipples.

He massages your chest slowly, taking his time to savor the moment. After a while, his palms catch on your erect nipples, causing you to gasp, and his hands briefly lose contact so he can take them between his fingertips. He rubs the nubs between his thumb and index finger until you can no longer hold in any sounds and are a moaning mess.

“You like that, huh? You like me touching you like this?” he asks, though you can tell from his tone he doesn’t expect an answer. “God, you look good like this, tits out and sat on my lap. I can feel how warm you’re getting on my thigh, are you turned on baby?”

You ignore him. He already knows how wet he’s making you, so there’s no use in admitting it and making his head any bigger.

“Hey,” he whispers with a smirk, “For all the rules we like to come up with during our private time, we never actually said I could only touch you with my hands.”

Your eyes open and nearly bulge out of your head. “W- we didn’t?” The implications of his statement has your mind racing as your breathing stops in anticipation of his next moves.

“We didn’t,” he confirms, “and kissing is really just touching with your lips, wouldn’t you say?”

Taking your bottom lip between your teeth, you try your best to fake like you aren’t as affected as you are and feel his hands slip away from you as you shrug your shoulders stiffly. “I guess it is,” you mumble after swallowing down the saliva pooling in your mouth.

The gasp that escapes you when his pillowy lips first make contact with your perky nipple is impossible to resist. His masterful fingers stay massaging your left breast, while his mouth gives its full attention to your right. The gentle kitten licks he gives you just barely graze over the erect nub and you bite back a pathetic whine.

“E- Eds,” you breathe out with as much dignity as you can muster, “Don’t tease.”

“Aw, but you like it when I tease you,” he accuses, and you hate how much he’s right. “I can see it all over your face, I can see you squeezing your thighs together. Such a needy whore for me.”

You make a futile attempt to hide your embarrassment by covering your face, but Eddie is fast to pin your hands together behind your back, as if he knew what you were going to do before you did.

“Don’t hide yourself from me,” he orders, his voice full of dominance. “You look so beautiful right now, eyes all big, lips bitten. And fuck, such pretty tits,” he practically growls this last compliment. “I’m gonna mark ‘em up. You gonna let me, baby?”

His touch traveled back to your front after he pinned your hands behind your back, but you remained frozen. Your fingers found their way around your forearm and your nails dig into your skin as you gravelly moan out, “Yes.”

You yelp out as his teeth sink into your flesh. It wasn’t hard enough to break skin, but when he pulls off to give the same treatment on the opposite side you look down to see defined teeth marks on the top part of your breast, exactly where your cleavage would show in a low-cut shirt. You have a sneaking suspicion he did that on purpose. He bites you again, leaving a symmetrical mark, this time sucking the fat of your chest into his mouth a soothing over the sting with a lap of his tongue. Any pain you might have felt is overcome by pure lust, and although you know the bruises will be sore later you find yourself excited to feel that dull ache as a reminder.

“Fuck, princess, are you gonna cum?” he asks, his voice smug, “Go ahead, rub yourself on me, use me for what you need.”

Only when he says this do you realize you’re grinding on his thigh. Surprised by your own actions, you flinch back, and after looking down are humiliated to find that his pants have a dark patch of wetness where you sat. As you’re pushing away, scrambling to get off of him and apologize, he roughly grabs you by the waist and pulls you back to him, using his hold on you to rock you back and forth.

“And just where do you think you’re going? I didn’t say you could stop,” he laughs, “Times not up yet, babe.”

Glancing back up to the clock, you find the big hand hasn’t even reached the five, and you still have just over ten minutes to go.

“What’s wrong, afraid you won’t be able to hold it off? Afraid you’re gonna cum while riding my thigh like the good little slut you are?” he asks after you show your frustration by groaning. “Come on, I know you want it. Just let yourself have it.”

The worst part is that he’s right. But as much as you want nothing more than you finish while fucking yourself against thigh, you know he’ll be insufferable if you give in.

He starts to kiss up your collarbone. “Th- that’s not my chest! This definitely wasn’t a part of the deal!” you stutter out in protest, but he doesn’t let up even slightly.

You feel his lips stretch against the delicate skin of your neck as he smiles into you. “Funny,” whispers near your ear, “I don’t see you pulling away. You don’t want me to stop, do you princess?”

“No,” you answer truthfully without thinking, “But this wasn’t in the agreement!”

“Fuck the deal, fuck the agreement,” he curses out harshly, “You wanna cum, I know you do. You want to be my little slut. Let yourself feel good, princess.”

Any qualms you previously had about trying to hold onto any power had vanished without a trace. The only thing you could think of was how good it felt to grind your clit on his denim. Finally, you gave in and started humping his leg without restraint. You feel your climax rising in your belly, that tight coil ready to snap, when Eddie interrupts with a question you never expected to hear.

“What do you want for the panties you’re wearing?”

Your brain short circuits. “... Excuse me?”

“The underwear. That you have on right now,” he continues, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “What do you want for them?”

Your hips pause in your confusion, but his grip on your waist forces you to keep moving against him, your clit rubbing on the rough fabric of his jeans so sinfully. “I- you- you want… what?” you stutter, trying to decipher if this moment is even really happening or is just a wet dream.

“I know you heard me, princess. I’m getting impatient,” he growls into the dip between your breasts before kissing back up your chest. “I’m going to make you cum, and I’m going to keep these panties. So what do you want for them?”

“Uh, I uh… um,” you search your brain but come up empty. “Fuck, Eds. Just make me cum and they’re yours.”

He chuckles softly into the crook of your neck and says, “My pleasure.”

He starts rocking with you, and you throw your head back as you feel his hard cock rutting against your own thigh. This only gives him better access to your throat, which he happily abused with his teeth and tongue.

“There you go, princess,” he murmurs to you. “So fucking pretty, getting yourself off on me. Sound so good. Show me how good girls cum.” As he’s talking, you get the sense that he’s speaking without really thinking, like this is just a stream of consciousness.

“Come on, baby” he pleads, “I need to see how pretty you are cumming on top of me. Don’t you wanna be good for me?”

“I do!” you call out, your movements growing frantic.

“I know you do. Keep rubbing that perfect little cunt on my leg. Get those panties nice and dirty for me. You wanna know what I’m gonna do with them?”

You’d like to tell him that you don’t want to know. That he can keep his twisted perversions to himself. But deep down, you want to know more than anything. “Wh- what are you going to do?”

“I’m gonna stuff them in my mouth while I jerk off,” he answers shamelessly. “Then, when I’m close, I’m gonna rub them on my dick til I cum right in the crotch. Then I’m gonna make you wear them when we’re around our friends, so you can feel the dry crust whenever you walk or shift, and you’ll know that you have a little bit of me right between your legs. Just like I know you so desperately crave.”

The picture he’s painting has you shuddering, and you feel your orgasm rushing toward you full speed. But, you still feel the need to act defiant. “And what if I don’t have any more ‘trade-off’s that I want to do? How are you gonna get me to wear them after you defile them?”

“Oh, you’re gonna do it,” he laughs again, this time more heartily, “Because you’re a fucking slut, and you want to be defiled by me.”

With this, he bites down where your neck meets your clavicle hard enough to bruise, and sucks sharply, clearly trying to leave a sizable and very much hard to conceal hickey. As you feel his wet, hot tongue flatten against your skin, you cry out in pleasure and spasm against him. Your orgasm is more intense than you would have guessed, given that he never actually made direct contact with your pussy. The waves of electricity rocket through you

With shaky legs, you brace yourself on his shoulders and stand up, your knees almost giving out when you try to put your full weight on them. He quickly reaches out for your waist to steady you and lend support, and you show your gratitude with a squeeze of your hand.

“You good?” he asks, and any trace of smugness you expected to hear in his voice is absent, substituted by pure adoration and care.

“Mhm,” you confirm with a hum, untrusting of your own voice to not break.

“You did so good. So good for me,” he says, so low you barely heard it. “You were so perfect. You are so perfect.”

And despite the fact that you didn’t think it’d be possible for more blood to flow to your face, you feel your cheeks warm with his compliments. With your hands still using his shoulders for balance, his hold on you loosens as they trail down past the hem of your skirt before traveling back up, lifting the garment until his fingertips meet the cotton of your panties.

“A deal’s a deal, right princess?” he asks, his voice unsure.

You nod and let go of him to take the bottom of your skirt, holding it up by your belly button. He hooks his fingers into the elastic of your underwear and starts to pull them down, but your arousal has the crotch clinging to your lips, and you turn your head in humiliation as you feel how he has to literally peel the fabric off of you. When you finally feel the cool air of the room on your hot center, you hear how Eddie breath gets stuck in his throat. He offers you support once more as you bend your knees and raise your leg, allowing him to slip his prize off of your body.

Now that they’re in his hands and you can see them fully, you realize just how much of a mess you made on him. The panties were completely soaked through, and the section of his pants around his thigh is stained darker with your wetness. However, his sizable hard-on making a tent in his jeans and straining against the zipper is enough to calm your worries.

He stands up next to you, and you side step to give him space. Your stomach flutters as you watch him lift the dirty panties to his face before inhaling deeply, and although this act is incredibly vulgar, you can't help the intense wave of arousal it brings to your already dripping cunt. You want nothing more than to just drop this game and be able to have him whenever you want, and even though you know he feels the same, your stubbornness is too severe. He tucks the dirty underwear into his back pocket and winks at you.

“Well,” he laughs, “I’m for sure looking forward to the next time you wanna borrow something, baby.”

[catalinaromanoff]

silence

wandanat x mute reader

summary: your girlfriends are always there for you and the only people who truly understand you.

warnings: mentions of abuse, panic attack

мой сладкий (moy sladkiy) = my sweet

красивая девушка (krasivaya devushka) = beautiful girl

inspired by the song: (not a songfic tho)

you hadn’t always been mute. in fact, up until you were six years old, your parents couldn’t get you to shut up. your teachers up until you were mute would complain about how disruptive you were and how nothing could get done in your presence.

maybe that was the reason you went mute. maybe not. who knows? all you know is that one day you no longer wanted anything to do with this wretched and cruel world. and so, you stopped talking.

at first your parents had tried everything they could to get you to utter just one simple word like “hi” or “goodbye.” all attempts failed. you just weren’t interested.

eventually, they gave up. they shipped you away, labeling you a ‘freak’ and ‘unlovable’ to the extravagant foster home you would spend the next twelve years in. sure, they didn’t care about you, but they still had money and if they were going to send a child away they wanted to say it was ‘the best foster home in the nation.’

what a lie.

this ‘foster home’ resembled the red room. thousands of girls trained to be cold-blooded killers. they like you. a lot. they liked your silence and the way you carried yourself. slowly you climbed up the ranks and became one of their best spies at the ripe age of fourteen. you didn’t know why you were so compliant. it could’ve possibly been because of your disinterest. you didn’t care if you were the best or the worst. you just went through the motions.

one could guess those motions led you to be one of the best assassinators, rivaling the black widow. until she joined the avengers.

you remember the day the black widow was no longer one of you. no longer an assassinator, except looking to stop them. your superiors were furious and scared. that was the scariest day of your life. after the black widow’s change of teams, the ‘white spies’ as your organization would call you all, were abused and treated horribly.

one night in particular you had failed to follow their instructions. an assassination gone wrong. you were sixteen, for goodness sake. they asked you if you had anything to say for yourself, obviously you didn’t. you were mute. they knew this. and yet, they put you through hours of torture. you were beat, thrown around, and-

suddenly you shoot up and sit up straight in your bed. you let out a gut-wrenching sob. you’re shaking. where are you? are they coming to get you?

without warning you feel a hand on your arm. you’re now scrambling out of bed, shaking, and screaming at this unknown person to not touch you. what if they hurt you?

the lights come on and you slowly realize where you are. you’re not a white spy anymore. you’re apart of the avengers, and have two wonderful girlfriends. you try to stop the shaking and the panic but you simply can’t. not without them.

“honey.. can i touch you?”

you hear wanda’s gravely morning voice and nod your head yes immediately. she gets up from your shared bed and slowly approaches you. suddenly you realize you have backed yourself into a corner.

wanda finally reaches your position and sits down across from you. she holds her hands out for you to grab, which you immediately do.

“i want you to breath with me, okay мой сладкий?”

you nod your head and follow her breathing.

in, 1, 2, 3,

hold, 1, 2, 3,

out, 1, 2,3,

you continue repeating this until you eventually calm down. no more shaking, your thoughts are under control, but now you know you won’t be able to head back to bed. not like this.

“another dream about them, huh?”

nat speaks up from her spot in the bed. she’s sitting on the edge and had been carefully observing you and wanda. you don’t like this distance and so you signal her to come over.

you sign to her: to answer your question, yes.

you had learned sign language as you grew up. having technology and the internet at your disposal allowed you to spend all day and all night constantly learning the intricate language. at first you began with finger spelling but slowly moved on to more advanced gestures. unfortunately, not a lot of people know sign language.

in fact, when you had first been recruited to join the avengers, you had almost been fired. no one knew how to communicate with you and assholes from the lower ranks complained about having to learn the sign language alphabet in order to ‘talk’ to you. however director fury did not want to fire you. so he appointed a deaf S.H.I.E.L.D. intern to teach weekly sign language classes.

so here you are. communicating with your girlfriends through your language.

nat smiles sadly at your response.

“it’s been getting worse lately, hasn’t it?”

you slowly nod your head. of course they would notice. you barely slept anymore. you felt like a zombie.

“is there anything i can do? maybe i can try to use my powers to calm your brain down?”

you shake your head.

i need to get over this on my own. last time we used your powers the nightmares came back worse.

wanda sighs and frustratedly runs her hand through her hair. nat wraps her arm around her waist and pulls her closer. you continue to hold her right hand.

“i just hate seeing you like this.”

i know.

you smile sadly and pull wanda in for a hug. after a while you share a hug with natasha.

we’ll get through this.

nat nods her head and smiles at me.

“you’re so strong.”

you begin to blush and hide your face in your hands.

you hear wanda’s infectious laugh as they watch you get flustered over nat’s compliment.

“oh cmon красивая девушка, we wanna see your face. you’re cute when you’re flustered.”

you giggle and stiffen your arms up when nat reaches over and tries to pry your hands from your face.

“okay, guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.”

suddenly you feel two pairs of hands begin to tickle you every which way. you can barely contain my loud laughter. you kick at the hands in order to get them away but to no avail. eventually you give up and take your hands away from your face.

the tickles finally stop and you continue to giggle, out of breath.

i love you two so much.

nat and wanda smile.

we love you too. way more than you know.

you don’t even realize they signed until a few seconds later. it wasn’t even finger spelling — it was actual sign language! you feel your eyes well up with tears. you pull both of your girlfriends into a bone-crushing hug. you let out a watery laugh.

“we decided to learn sign language. no more finger spelling.”

you nod and squeal. you feel seen.

for the first time in your life, you feel like no one is trying to change you. not one, but two people accept you for you are and are willing to learn your language. for the first time since you were six, you don’t feel disconnected from the world.

you feel truly loved.

a/n: honestly i wasn’t expecting to write again today but i read something on here a long time ago that made it back to the front of my brain. but yea, i hope you enjoyed if you made it this far!

[buckyalpine]

Soft King Bucky

Im in the middle of writing this smutty fic with arranged marriage and King Bucky and in the middle of writing it, i had another thot pop up which I have to get out right now like RIGHT NOW. 

Imagine soft king Bucky on your wedding night. Its the first time you’ve ever been intimate with someone and your anxiety has been high all night because you know the maids and servants will inspect the sheets the next morning, your honor and dignity thrown to the wind.

But that's the way things were. 

You gave yourself to him, letting him touch you and make love to you, sealing the both of you together as you had promised in your vows. He was careful and soft, cradling your body to his, focused on knowing you would be protected along his side, putting your pleasure before his.

You wanted to melt into him, feel every ounce of the love he was willing to give but anxiety held you from letting go, worried about the aftermath, worried about if he see you were pure. 

The euphoria that consumed you both pulsed through you as you sat up, your stomach dropping at the stark white sheets. You scrambled up slightly in hopes of something but the sheets were anything but tainted, pure and clean as if you’d never laid on his bed. 

“I’m-I’m sorry-” Tears well in your eyes, panic rising in your chest, fearing the anger he’d feel, seeing you as tainted and impure. 

“What for darling” He whispered, concerned etched on his face as you let out a choked sob, not knowing what you could possibly go, there was no evidence to show you were pure, untouched before him, to show that he was the only man to have you this way. You squeezed your legs shut, curling up in a ball, shame consuming you, already hearing the words the kingdom would brand you. “My princess?” 

“I didn’t-I don’t understand, the sheets- you’re the only one I’ve-” You trembled as he pulled you into his arms, shutting your eyes, unable to watch his disappointment when he saw who he married. Bucky’s brows furrowed, taking a moment to understand why you were so distressed, hiding your face away. He thought over your words, tension crawling up his back, his jaw clenching when he understood your fear. He wrapped his arms tightly around you, keeping you close to his chest, pressing a firm kiss to your head, his lips brushing your hair as he spoke.  

“I agreed to marry the intelligent and headstrong princess to rule by my side because her mind and beauty had my heart when I saw her. A fierce woman fit to be by me, when she rode her horse into my kingdom alone, demanding justice for her people without fear of what could happen to her” 

He reminisced the day you strode into his castle, head held high, not a drop of fear in your eyes with a dagger strapped to your hip, sword firm in your hand.

He fell in love before you opened your sweet lips to tell him right off. 

“Look at me princess” He cupped your cheeks making you meet his intense gaze, thumbing away the tears that streaked your cheeks, “I shared my bed with you because I wanted to love you in in every way possible, not as a test of your worth” 

You were still tensed, curling up into him further while he moved you to lay on top of him, your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He pulled the covers over you, protecting you in a cocoon of warmth, tilting your chin to meet his eyes again. 

“You have my heart, that is as pure as it gets” tucking your hair away from your face, pulling you in for a kiss to your lips. “No one else gets to decide that, princess, no one” 

[d4minnie]

Pairing: YandereStalker!Gojo Satoru x Reader

Warnings: Stalking,kidnapping & slight gore

Wc:1,835

THIS IDEA LOOKED BETTER IN MY HEAD🥲😔

MINORS DNI

Day 1

"You look pretty in that black dress; you should wear it more often."

"Um, I think you have the wrong number..."

You quickly hung up, glancing around the restaurant where you and your friends were sitting, scanning for anyone suspicious, but everyone seemed normal. It felt strange—surely it was just a coincidence? You were wearing a black dress, but the number that called you was unfamiliar. There were tons of people in the restaurant wearing black dresses; the world didn’t revolve around you, right? It had to be a coincidence.

Then you felt your phone buzz and, before you could think, you read a message from that same number. It simply said "1." Your heart raced, and you felt increasingly jumpy. Suddenly, you jumped at the sensation of a hand on your shoulder. You turned to see your friend Miyu looking at you.

"Are you okay? You seem off. We can leave if you want." She offered a sympathetic smile, but wanting to keep the mood light, you shook your head. "No, it’s fine," you chuckled, though she didn't seem convinced.

"If you say so, but if you feel uneasy, let me know," she said, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze before returning to what she was doing.

Day 2

The next morning, you completely forgot about the strange call. "Shi—I forgot about that project!" You muttered, jumping out of bed and tripping over the tangled blankets. Scrambling around, you searched for your laptop, hardly taking the time to get ready. You were so on edge! The deadline was in just a couple of days, but you had plans!

As soon as you unlocked your laptop, you received a call. Unable to find your phone, you answered on your laptop. "Hello?" All you heard was heavy breathing. "Hello?? Is this a prank call?!" More heavy breathing on the other end. "Seriously, this isn’t funny. Who is this?" You got only a grunt in response. With a frustrated sigh, you hung up. Just as you were about to start on your project, a notification popped up in the corner of your screen from that same number—Pretty number 2 :)

"What a weirdo." Was this some new way for guys to flirt? You sighed and blocked the number, then turned back to your project.

Day 3

You slipped on some cute gold earrings as you got ready for your date. Your friends had been pestering you lately about getting out more, insisting you shouldn’t stay inside all the time. You didn’t really understand what they were talking about—sure, you hadn’t dated much, but that wasn’t your fault! You were just busy.

After checking your outfit for the fifth time and doing a quick spin for your friends on FaceTime, you finally felt ready. You hung up, spritzed on some perfume, and tossed your phone into your purse along with a few essentials. A quick glance in the mirror confirmed you looked good.

Just as you were about to open the door, your phone rang from an unknown number. “Not this again,” you grumbled, deciding to block the caller without a second thought. But just as you reached for the doorknob, your phone buzzed again with another unfamiliar number. Frustrated, you answered, bringing the phone to your ear.

“I don’t know if you think this is funny, but pi—”

“Leave that house and I’ll kill you.”

The voice was chillingly serious, and your heart raced, pounding against your chest. “Wha—who is this?” you stammered, but the caller hung up, leaving you confused and scared shitless.

Taking the threat seriously, you quickly texted your date to cancel. As you were doing that, a new message from the same number popped up: It's the number 3 pretty :) Panic surged through you. You blocked the number again, hurriedly shut all the blinds, and double-checked the locks on both the front and back doors. Finally, you curled up in bed, trying to push the fear aside as you went to sleep.

Day 4

The next morning, after a long internal debate, you finally found the courage to leave the house. As you braced yourself to open the door, relief flooded over you. But just as you stepped outside, your foot slipped on something, and you stumbled, twisting your ankle. "Ah, ouch!" you grunted, squeezing your eyes shut in pain.

After what felt like an eternity, you finally opened your eyes and looked down to see what had caused you to trip. But then you froze, your blood running cold.

There, on the ground, lay the lifeless head of your date, eyes staring blankly into the void. A scream lodged in your throat, but it wouldn't come. The reality of the scene consumed you, dread pooling in your stomach as the world tilted on its axis.

You double over, retching violently. The contents of your stomach heave up, spilling out in a chaotic rush. You feel each spasm shake through you, a raw, involuntary reaction that feels both foreign and all-consuming. Your vision blurs, the morning light morphing into a haze of colours and shapes.

Every gag feels like a release, yet the lifeless eyes that seem to be glaring at you in pity remains anchored in your mind. You catch your breath, trembling, trying to wipe the remnants from your mouth, but the disgust lingers, a bitter taste that mingles with the fear.

You quickly tried to get up, forgetting about your painful ankle, which caused you to fall again. Frustrated, you gave up and crawled back into the house, tears streaming down your face with each sob. Once inside, you locked the door tight and let out a blood-curdling wail, feeling as if the tears burning your cheeks were scalding hot.

Then you heard it—the phone ringing. This time, you let it ring, your heart racing until a notification chimed. With shaky hands, you reached for your phone, and the sight of the message made your heart drop: You really shouldn't ignore my calls, pretty :) And guess what number... 4!

Panic surged through you as you quickly blocked the number, your breath quickening. The words felt like a threat, echoing in your mind. You glanced around the dark room, feeling an overwhelming sense of dread settle in. The implications were clear—someone was watching you, and they knew more than you realized.

Without wasting another moment, you dialed the police, breathlessly informing them about what lay right outside your door. But as you spoke, your vision began to blur and go spotty. The world around you started to fade, and before you knew it, you collapsed.

Day 5

You woke up in the hospital, disoriented. According to the nurses, you had fainted and hit your head, but not too badly—you’d be able to leave in about a week. You just hummed in reply, glancing at your phone. Ignoring the calls from your worried parents and friends felt easier; every ringtone felt like a taunt, reminding you of everything that had happened.

Your thoughts were interrupted by five knocks at the door. You looked to the side and saw two officers enter the room—one with striking blue eyes and pearly white hair, while the other had long black hair tied in a bun. Your heart raced. Are they going to arrest me? Do they not believe me? Oh my God, am I going to—

“Calm down, pretty. You’re not in trouble,” the white-haired officer said. While his words were meant to reassure you, they felt oddly mocking.

“We just want to understand what happened, okay?” you nodded in response. The black-haired officer pulled out a notepad and pen, and you recapped everything for them, including the strange numbers. They asked to borrow your phone for further investigation, and you agreed. That simple act relieved some of the weight on your shoulders.

Afterward, you decided to sleep, as you really didn’t have anything else to do. But when you awoke, something felt deeply wrong. The light in the room was off, and it was completely dark; you couldn’t even see your own hand in front of your face.

You stumbled over to the light switch and flicked it on, and you swear you felt your soul leave your body. On the window were five neat "5s" painted in light blue. But what terrified you the most wasn’t just those numbers; it was the extra "5" painted on the floor, with what you assumed wasn’t red paint because of the headless body in the middle.

You bolted out of the room, yelling for a doctor, your words tumbling out in a frantic loop. “DEAD BODY THERES A DEAD BODY IN MY ROOM!—” It felt surreal, like a scene playing on repeat, and you weren’t sure if any of it was real.

The other doctors didn’t seem to take you seriously either. As soon as they stepped into your room, you heard a loud wail and cries for the police. Panic gripped you tighter as a nurse hurried over, escorting you to a different room.

“We’ll get this sorted out,” she said, though her voice wavered slightly. As she left to check on the commotion, you felt a wave of dread wash over you. Alone in the new room you decided to just let sleep overtake you.

Day 6

The next morning, a nurse entered your room, her expression serious. “The same officers from yesterday are going to ask you questions again,” she said. Something about that didn’t sit right with you.

When they had questioned you the day before, it felt like it seemed like a hassle for them. The white-haired officer was particularly unsettling—he was overly touchy, sighing dramatically, and his face constantly twitched as if he was holding back laughter. You definitely didn’t want to face them again, but you had little choice. As you replayed the interaction from the day before, it felt like you were missing something. Sitting upright on the hospital bed, you put your head in your hands, trying to figure it out. Your thoughts were cut off by six knocks at the door, which made you feel sick.

“Hope we’re not interrupting anything,” the white-haired officer said with a big smile, as if there was anything to smile about at that moment. “Yesterday I didn’t get to introduce myself, pretty. My name’s Satoru, and this is my friend Suguru.” He held out his hand, but you didn’t take it; something about him made you feel incredibly sick.

“Ouch, harsh,” he chuckled. At that moment, realization hit you—oh my god, how did you not notice? The word “pretty,” that sickening word, made you choke on your spit. Tears brimmed at your eyelids, and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. “Could I excuse myself to the bathroom for a second?” you asked, forcing a carefree smile that clearly didn’t match your panic. They let you go anyway.

Once outside the room, you sprinted down the hallway and out of the hospital, running as fast as you could. Rocks dug into the soles of your feet, and you could feel blisters forming, but you didn’t care. You were sure someone must have called the police after seeing someone in hospital clothes running barefoot. After a moment to catch your breath, you doubled over.

You heard a car stop next to you and were about to run again when someone spoke, “Are you okay? Do you need a ride?” You saw an unfamiliar man in the passenger seat, but at least he wasn’t Satoru or Suguru. You quickly opened the door and hopped into the passenger seat, profusely thanking the man. “You don’t understand how much I appreciate this, thank you so mu—”

“You shouldn’t run barefoot, pretty.” Before you could react, hands from behind covered your mouth with a rag. You thrashed around, trying to escape, but you kept accidentally inhaling whatever was in the rag. It felt like you were slowly losing consciousness. You glanced at the driver, who was looking forward with a guilty expression, and just before you passed out, you heard, “6.”

[seshathawk]

I’d like to address something from season four that I haven’t seen anyone else address yet, though some people have spoken critically of the plots surrounding it.

A quick caveat: this is based off of my own experiences, and is not by any means an attempt to excuse, forgive, or erase any of the many mistakes that season four made. (This is going to be about parenting, for anyone who would like to avoid said topic.)

Hi. I’m the mother to a 4.5 year old child. When I met my husband, we were both working jobs, although he made more than me. I quit my job eventually for reasons that don’t need to be detailed here, and three years later had a baby and ended up being a stay-at-home mom to our child. At the height of the pandemic, I felt this was lucky; we wouldn’t have to scramble to find child care or anything like that.

Two years later, I was absolutely miserable and a completely different person.

Parenthood changes a person. A lot. Like, a lot. You have to sacrifice things, things that used to be important to you, again and again, in order to support your children, and you do it because you love them so much and you want them to succeed.

But something else happens, specifically to women who become parents. Some women intend to go back to work and never do. In some families, it’s cheaper for mom to provide childcare than it is to pay for daycare. Somehow, women end up being the managers of the household and primary caregiver for any/all children, all day, every day. This isn’t to say that these women don’t love their children. But, rather, that women end up carrying the burden of the invisible load for their entire household, including their husbands.

And this also isn’t to say that those husbands aren’t loving, or that they don’t take care of their kids too, or that these women don’t love their husbands. But it’s a huge burden.

Some examples of the invisible load: meal planning, grocery shopping, packing bags for outings or school, managing the family (kids) schedule, arranging for childcare, managing communication with childcare or school, making all appointments for kids or entire family, planning parties, making holiday (Christmas/Easter/4th of July/take your pick) magic, finding activities for kids to do, packing lunches, restocking things like toiletries or pantry staples, cleaning up clutter or getting family/kids to do same, putting away laundry, doing laundry, and…the list goes on. The list is eternal. There is no end to the invisible load.

And when you’re managing all of this and your husband does things like not know if you have a pantry staple at home, isn’t sure where your child’s clean underwear is, or forgets to do something very simple such as grab extra milk, it’s really easy to feel frustrated and resentful.

This is never explicitly stated in The Umbrella Academy, that this is how Lila feels. But it was pretty obvious to me. Her random statements like, “Why are you doing the cake now?” and “I told you to do the pinata two hours ago!” and “This isn’t about you!” felt true to me. Like, OH MY GOD, I do this every day, HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS SO WRONG. And, also, Diego casually says, “Hey, let’s just up and leave just like the old days, the kids will be fine with your family,” without appearing to have ANY IDEA about what goes into planning for kids to stay with relatives for what has to have been at least two days. (Sidebar: I’m not sure if the writers thought that bit through but I definitely read into it that Diego thinks it’ll be easy to slip away while Lila understands the intense logistics of this suggestion.)

So, when Lila said, regarding book club/undercover operations that she just needed something just for herself, I felt that, SO hard. Because you know what happens when you’re a mom? You’re doing the invisible labor and the emotional labor for (in Lila’s case) a family of five. When you finally have some time to yourself, it’s maybe an hour, and your choices are to try to do something relaxing by yourself, spend time with your husband (who you might resent a little), or do something for the house/family. Getting to escape and do something fun, just for you? That’s SO magical.

I do wish we’d seen more of their domestic life together, because I think that could have said a lot about their relationship. But I didn’t think for one second that Lila was unhappy because Diego is never present and never stops complaining, although I’m sure that’s part of it. I saw instantly that she was unhappy because her personhood has been crushed under the weight of motherhood and wifehood and that she was struggling. And that all she wanted—all any of us in similar situations want—is for her husband to understand that and step up, in a way that husbands really don’t understand, because patriarchy.

Does it mean she’d cheat on Diego? Does it mean she’d cheat on him with his brother? Not necessarily. Does it mean she might look for companionship or friendship elsewhere, outside of her family life? Does it mean she might be happy, for a while, living a more adventurous or quiet life, away from the demands of her family? Maybe! Would have been great if the show had explored that a little instead of turning her into part of a love triangle.

But I thought that Lila, burdened with motherhood in a way that Diego cannot ever truly know (because patriarchy), felt true to me and was one of the highlights of season four to me.

[ash5monster01]

Learning to Love Epilogue

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: 18+, langauge, angst, fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, fake relationship, eventual smut, minor enemies to lovers trope.

Summary: It's not uncommon for you to be shamed for your size, it is however uncommon to be told that no one would ever date you because of it. Rafe on the other hand is used to being called a jerk, that is until he is accused of seeing people for only what's on the surface. It's purely coicidental you two meet right after these accusations are thrown your way. So even though you two don't know each other, and probably never would've looked the others way before this, now you're both going to prove a point. It's simple really, prove others wrong and don't fall in love. Easier said than done.

word count: 3k

Part 10 ←

Masterlist

Rafe wasn’t sure what to do. Now knowing you had overheard some of his conversation he knew how bad it looked. He was prepared to fix it, thing was he needed to come up with a plan. He was tired of dancing around you, never truly saying what he actually meant. This time he was going to prove to you that he wanted you and no one else. He wanted you exactly the way you were. The only problem was how do you convince a girl she’s worth it when she’s spent her whole life thinking she’s not? So Rafe was going to take his time because he was prepared to spend the rest of his time with you. That was until Mila sent him a new text.

Mila

A wave a sickness quickly washed over him at his desk, hand tightly gripping his phone as panic slowly replaced that sickness. The idea of you on a date made him want to kill whoever the hell the guy was and he had a feeling he knew exactly who it was. Slamming his phone down he dialed the pager on his desk phone to his assistant Kaitlyn.

“Yes Mr. Cameron” she answered almost instantaneously. After all of this he needed to remember to give her a raise.

“Get me AJ, now” and Kaitlyn scrambled out an okay while Rafe tried his best not to seethe at the thought of you trying to erase him completely. It’s only ten minutes later when AJ walks through his office door.

“Kaitlyn said you needed me” the smile on her face suggests she’s assuming some kind of hookup but when she spots his angry face she realizes fairly quickly this is not the case.

“You have a Tanner that works for you down there” Rafe nods his chin down to where AJ’s marketing floor lies.

“Yeah, Tanner Mason. He’s one of my best” she says fondly of her workers and Rafe nods as he processes his thoughts.

“Yeah, well today he’s just too good. I need you to up his work load, enough paperwork he won’t be getting home until midnight tonight. I don’t even care if you have to send someone home to do it” AJ quickly furrows her eyebrows, confused at what was going on.

“I don’t understand” she says, confused why Rafe who should have no clue who this worker is, is suddenly targeting him.

“Tanner has decided to ask my girl on a date, one he thinks he’s attending tonight, I’m going to make sure that doesn’t happen” AJ wears a surprised look, realizing how serious he is right now.

“Why would she even be going out with him if she’s dating you?” AJ instantly questions, looking to place blame on her but Rafe just sighs.

“She dumped me and didn’t even say why. So I’m going to get her back. Whatever means necessary” the shocked face that crossed AJ’s features doesn’t surprise Rafe, yet he doesn’t back down.

“I guess I can send Emmet home, tell Tanner he’s sick and I need a completed ad by the end of the day” AJ finally says after a beat and Rafe smiles a sly grin.

“You’re the best AJ” he says and AJ rolls her eyes as she begins to stand up.

“You’re lucky we’ve been friends so long and I’m partial to you actually being in love. Believe it or not but there was a point in time I didn’t think you were capable. It’s nice to see you care so deeply about someone” and Rafe knows she’s referring to him never reciprocating her feelings during their time together. He would feel guilty but after all of this he knows now you can’t help who you fall in love with, you’re just along for the ride.

“It feels nice” he tells her and she lets out a chuckle before heading towards the door.

“You owe me, and I want to be front row at the wedding” she tells him and the blush that crosses his cheeks surprises her.

“Anything you want” and she accepts this answer before leaving the office and towards Emmet’s. She would’ve sent him home even if Rafe gave her no reason. Everything Rafe did had a purpose.

Rafe now content with the start of his plan being set in motion glances at the picture of you on his desk. The selfie you had taken in his lap that day you were here. He knows now he’s never going to move it, loving having your smiling face looking back at him. He was determined to have you smile at him like that again so he finally responds to Mila’s text.

Mila

Rafe didn’t care that she called him out on his behavior. He used to be a very different type of insane and she should be glad that this was the only crazy thing he was willing to do these days. You had changed him for the better and he wasn’t going to lose you now. He needed it to at least be real. To know that sleeping with you made it official and not some way of using you. He wanted you the way you were forever and he was willing to go back to his old ways to make it happen.

“He’s not answering me” you groan to Mila on the couch. You had been dressed for your date for the last hour, waiting for Tanner to pick you up but so far it hadn’t been done.

“Maybe he got caught up at work, I mean you know the boss” Mila snorts out and she’s glad her acting is good enough that you can’t tell she’s internally panicking. Rafe had her delete Tanners message, one where he informed you he got stuck at work and would have his phone off the rest of the day. You’re oblivious and Mila is praying this plan doesn’t blow up in her face.

“That’s not funny” you tell her with a pout but before Mila could say anything the doorbell rang. You nervously scrambled to answer it only to be met with an older gentleman and a limo in the street behind him.

“Hello Miss, Tanner is running a bit late so he’s asked me to escort you to the restaurant. Are you all set to go?” the formality shocks you and Mila realizes fairly quickly Tanner wasn’t the one who sent this limo at all. In defense of her best friend she should stop her but even Mila knew Rafe wouldn’t have planned all of this without purpose.

“Damn, a limo! Can I tag along just to ride?” Mila asks and the chauffeur just smiles at her, told to comply with any requests.

“Could she please?” you ask the man and he nods quickly.

“Of course, what fun is a limo without guests” he says before stepping out the way and gesturing in the direction of it.

“Thank you!” you say before grabbing Mila’s hand and rushing her to the limo. You had been full blown panicking now, not having gone on a real date in ages. Now it was even more intimidating riding in a limo there.

“God, drink some champagne and chill” Mila says when she spots your nervous behavior in the back of the limo. She was already on her second glass.

“I am chill” you defend as she hands you a glass that you have down in two full gulps.

“Yeah right” she mutters as you hold out the glass, awaiting her to pour more. She obeys and doesn’t say anything more as she lets you drink in peace and sits beside you in support.

It’s not long until the limousine pulls up in front of one of the most beautiful restaurants you had ever seen. Never would you have guessed a marketing job would provide such big bucks like this, yet you don’t complain. All you do is glance at Mila who has now ditched the glass to drink champagne straight from the bottle. She smiles and gives you a thumbs up which is all the confidence you need to leave the car when the chauffeur opens the door.

“Thank you…” you trail off, realizing you don’t know his name as he releases your hand from helping you out the vehicle.

“Harold” he tells you and you smile softly.

“Thank you Harold, sorry you have to deal with her alone” you gesture back to the car with a chuckle.

“I heard that!” Mila calls from inside and Harold lightly laughs with you.

“Tanner should be here soon, just tell the hostess you have a reservation under Tanner Mason” he informs you and you nod, filled with nerves because you didn’t even know his last name was Mason until now. You suppose that’s the whole point of going on this date though, getting to know each other. So you walk into the restaurant anyways and do as told where a hostess leads you to a private booth, jazz music playing over the chatter of people, and candles lighting up the dim table.

“Sorry I’m late” a smile crosses your face before you even register that it wasn’t Tanner’s voice. Rafe notices how quickly the smile vanishes as he slides into the spot where Tanner is supposed to be.

“Why are you here?” you glare, not in any mood for a stunt of his tonight. You were moving on, trying things you never had before. You didn’t need him here and messing it up.

“Tanner got caught up at work, something about a coworker being sick and a deadline to meet by tonight” Rafe says this sentence so naturally but you know he has something to do with it. Tanner would have never planned a date let alone not contacted you about it, yet you suppose Rafe had something to do with that too.

“So what? you thought you’d just come and fill in. Take his place for the night?” you scoff, arms crossing over your chest and immediately thinking of ways to get out of this restaurant.

“Try forever. You shouldn’t be with him Y/N! You should be with me” he groans out, hands fisting the table cloth in front of you both.

“That’s never going to happen” you say with the shake of your head, trying to look anywhere but him.

“Why? We spent that night together, I thought it was finally real. That you would finally let me love you and instead you blocked me on everything!” he countered and as much as hearing that he wanted you that didn’t change fact.

“Really Rafe, me too! Which is why I came by your office as soon as I could just to hear you talking with AJ about your current sex life. How shocked she was to hear you’d sleep with me at the same time as her. Luckily I left just as I heard you start talking about not being attracted to big girls” Rafe instantly goes back to that conversation in his head, realizing AJ had used present tense when talking with him.

“I haven’t slept with AJ in over two years. I cross my heart, I haven’t even been with anyone the entirety of the time we spent together. You have to believe me” he begs, needing you to know it wasn’t true. He was desperate for you to know it was true.

“Even if that’s true Rafe, I can’t be with someone who isn’t attracted to me. I get that I’m no beauty standard and I understand my body isn’t the healthiest but I deserve to be loved for all the things that make me, me. That includes being overweight” you say, fighting the tears that burn at the back of your eyes. You didn’t want to cry over him anymore. It wasn’t worth it.

“You don’t understand Y/N, you walked away before I could finish that day. I was saying I had never been attracted to big girls before and up until now I didn’t know why. You’re so beautiful, I love everything about you. I love the way your hair always falls in your face and how when you laugh to loudly you cover your mouth with your hands. Beauty isn’t a standard, it’s just in the eye of the beholder. Anyone is beautiful when you love them and baby I love you more than you know. I love you so much that you’re the most beautiful girl in the world to me. As long as I have you, no other girl in the world matters” and the tears break free in full force, shock painting your features as Rafe’s words resonate with you. You want to believe he’s lying but what reasoning would he have? Based on his own tears in his eyes you realize that Rafe is telling you the whole truth for maybe the first time in the entirety of your relationship with him.

“You love me, exactly the way I am?” you can’t help but ask and Rafe chuckles, reaching long arms across the table to brush away your tears.

“I do, I love you more than anything and no matter what happens I always will” he says, sincerity cracking his voice and finally a smile appears on your face, chuckling through the tears.

“Well how in the hell did that happen?” you ask, the backs of your hands wiping the tears from your face while Rafe laughs at your words.

“I don’t know, guess it’s got something to do with this really cool girl I met in a bar” Rafe says and finally you stand from your side of the booth, rushing over to his own where he happily accepts you into his arms.

“You promise it’s real, everything?” you ask and Rafe smiles, a hand reaching and tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

“It always was” he tells you and that’s enough for you to lock your lips against his own. He kisses you like he can’t possible get enough, tongue sliding past your lips as your hands toy with his hair at the nape of his neck. He is everything you ever wanted and for the first time you deserved.

“I can’t believe you hijacked my date to get me to talk to you” you say when you finally break apart, heavy breaths falling past your lips from how deeply he was kissing you.

“I had to do something, you blocked me on everything with no explanation” he says with a bewildered look and you can’t help but laugh before pulling his lips to your own and kissing him again.

“I needed something effective to get you out of my system” you tell him and he grins, squeezing you tightly against him and in no hurry to let you go.

“You remember when we first hung out and I asked you if you had ever been in love before?” he asks you gently after a moment and you nod, softly leaning against him.

“Yeah and I told you I’d like to think I was but I wasn’t sure” you respond, remembering that day in his apartment so clearly. How much fun you had ended up having while hanging out with him.

“I only asked because I had realized I’d never been in love before, but now if someone asks me I can confidently say yes” he says with a grin and you can only giggle at the handsome boy in front of you.

“When did Rafe Cameron become such a sap?” you asked, knowing you’d seen every side of Rafe other than this.

“I’m only a sap for you so don’t go telling anyone” he tells you and for a single moment you’re the happiest you’ve ever been in the arms of the man you love. Rafe was your first and hopefully only love and you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life getting to know him even more.

“Who would’ve thought a fake date would teach me how to love someone” you say to him and Rafe grins.

“Is that you finally saying you love me back, because I definitely have you beat on confessions tonight” he teases and you laugh loudly, hand covering your mouth which Rafe removes as he grins back at you.

“I love you Rafe Cameron, bad boy persona and all” you say and he pecks a sweet kiss to your lips.

“Learning to love, who would’ve thought it’d be me” he says referring to the journey you both had been on, going from loners to two people in love with each other.

“I sure as hell didn’t” you say and Rafe smiles just as the wine he had called ahead and ordered arrived to the table.

“This wasn’t Tanners date at all was it?” you ask and Rafe only grins, not embarrassed by his actions at all.

“Nope, this is all me. He texted and cancelled while you were in the shower and I had Mila delete it” he admits and you gasp, lightly smacking his arm as he goes to set a wine glass in front of you.

“You two are devious” you say and he shrugs, arm wrapping around your shoulders as he pulls you close and sips from his glass of wine.

“Devious but successful” he tells you and you shake your head before laying it on his shoulder.

“You’re lucky I love you both” you tell him and he smiles, lips pressing a soft kiss against your forehead.

“Yeah, we definitely are”

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @fishingirl12 @houseofperfecttaste @abbybarnesstuff @carma-fanficaddict @jjmaybankisbae @exhaustedbutelated @diagnosedpsychosis @daivny @drewstarkeygf @vinniehackersbaee @emsgoodthinkin @apollo3475 @https-urwife @willowalexissss @kisstaya @hcneyedsstuff @lexiereblogs @drewsuncrustables @mveggieburger @marvel4life3000 @bibliophilewednesday @humungouspatrolwolf @ijustwanttoreadlols @jaijustreads @sleepjam @dilvcv @aaronhotchswife @sunshine1218 @lavenderhazeq @theultimatefrenchfangirl @kravitzwhore @chalahyung01 @jenniferpendragon @kitty-marie725 @dlwritings @writevanna @alenerz @h34rtsformilli @just-cuz22 @superbreadsoul

a/n: and that’s a wrap. thank you so much everyone for coming with me on this journey and I hope you fell in love with their story as much as I did. clearly Rafe and the reader have a beautiful future ahead of them, no longer lost in the world. as for you my dear and loyal readers I wish this for all of you, not only find love but learning how to 🤍

[hope-you-brought-kneepads-bitch]

And then they were… lovers Wait really?

And they were….

Part 1: And they were roommates

Part 2: And they were strangers

Summary: Wanda wakes from a dream and needs to make a decision, she hopes she makes the right one

Words: 3K +

“Y/n?” Wanda walked through her house entering the kitchen and seeing you cooking her favourite meal

“Is that paprikash? She asked and you jumped spinning around “hey baby you snuck up on me, but yeah it’s your favourite, I’ll be honest it’s my 4th attempt but I think it’s okay”

Wanda wrapped her arms around your body placing a kiss on the back of your neck “I like this”

“Me sucking at trying to cook?” You chuckled and Wanda laughed with you “just me and you, here, in our little home and no ex boyfriends no weird demons or devils, just the two of us”

Turning around in her hold you held her face in your hands kissing her softly “I love you”

“I love you too”

Wanda shot up in the strange bed looking around and seeing you sat in a chair asleep, or pretending to sleep since demons don’t sleep

“Y/n?”

You opened your eyes standing up and walking to her “do you feel okay now?”

She nodded and stood up from the bed hugging you tight surprising you “I’m breaking up with Vision”

You sighed but Wanda continued “I’m breaking up with him as soon as I get back I don’t need him anymore I only want you, I want to sleep in your bed and not panic about Vision walking in and catching us, I want to go on real dates and want to go to build a bear because I know you really wanted to go that day but thought it was childish and left it, I just want to do so much with you, please please don’t leave me alone”

Through her own tears Wanda couldn’t see the tears running down your face as well, but she did feel you tighten your grip

“I do really want that unicorn” you whispered and Wanda smiled against you “call him”

Wanda pulled away from you and you used your thumbs to wipe her stray tears away “I need to do it in person, will you come with me?”

“Damn right, I want to see his face when it happens”

You went to kiss Wanda but she stopped you confusing you “oh?”

“I need to break up with him now then I’ll kiss you all day”

“Okay, let’s go then”

****************************************************

Arriving at the house you held onto Wanda’s hand entering the house standing over the few drunk and knocked out bodies

“Wanda! I’m so glad you’re okay” Vision appeared dragging Wanda into him into a hug which she quickly pulled away from “vision we need to talk”

“Okay…should we go to your room?”

Wanda shook her head “no it’s okay we can do this here it’ll be quick” she stepped back into you and you automatically wrapped your arms around her glaring at the man

“What’s going on?” Vision had his suspicions but didn’t want to believe them

“I’m sorry Vision I’m breaking up with you, I can’t keep-

“What? Why?! What have I done?” He scrambled and you just laughed “she wants me douchebag, told you my dick was bigger than yours”

Vision saw red marching towards you and you quickly pushed Wanda out of the way before he punched you on one you off balance and to the floor

“Fucking bitch, how dare you steal my girlfriend!”

You jumped up wiping your blood away and spat in his face “you don’t deserve her, she’s better off with me” you remained calm not wanting to blow up while Wanda was here

Wanda come back to you checking your nose “oh honey that looks broken”

You shrugged “it’ll be fine in a few minutes, maybe best to check on the increasing volcano over there”

Wanda looked back at Vision and took in a deep breath “Vision, please leave our house, I’m sorry about it being so sudden but I can’t have you in here anymore”

As her voice wobbled on the last few words the man still couldn’t understand what was going on so he did leave, not without a warning “you both enjoy being toxic bitches together”

He slammed the door waking up a few people who left silently after, you took Wanda into her room and lay her on the bed “you’re mine”

“I’m all yours baby” you straddled Wanda on the bed kissing her deeply and roaming your hands around her body “wait” Wanda breathed out as you started kissing down her chest

You looked up quickly “you okay? Did I do something?”

Wanda soothed your fears with a kiss to your cheek “no it’s okay but…but I think build a bear is open now” your head fell into her neck and you started laughing “you’re so ridiculous, but sure, let’s have a shower and go and get buddy”

Remixing yourself from Wanda you pulled her up giving her a final kiss “buddy? Is that the name of your unicorn you’re gonna get?”

“….maybe”

“That’s adorable, demons are adorable” Wanda giggled kissing you softly and tapping you on the nose “only me, I’m the only adorable demon in the world, rest of them are bastards”

**************************************************

“I’m not sure about this anymore Wands, it’s so busy”

Wanda shrugged tugging you along into the store “so? It’s fine see there’s a few adults in there, come on my love”

“My love?” You paused and Wanda worried she’d upset you

“Is my love okay?”

You wanted to shout yes! But you tried holding in your excitement “sure sure it’s cool, I er yeah it’s great….can I call you my love?”

Wanda lent up kissing you on the cheek “of course my love”

Your ent to kiss her again but Wanda pulled you into store and to the unicorn you really wanted “what about this one?” Wanda picked up a unicorn and handed it to you “yeah he’s cute, I like his rainbow mane and tail”

“Come on then let’s get him!” She excitedly dragged you to the stuffing section but you stopped her “hold on, we could get him a sound or voice”

Your eyes racked over the choices and landed on a cute heart with a heartbeat

“I like this heart” Wanda picked up the heart and smiled “it says on the back it’s got a heartbeat when you press the leg”

You took the heart back and smiled “I really want this, I don’t have a heartbeat…I like listening to yours because it makes me feel human, and you’ll finally have a heartbeat to keep you calm when you get overwhelmed”

When you looked back to Wanda and saw the tears welling upon her eyes you panicked “are you okay???” She kissed you as her response calming you down “I’m perfectly fine, that’s just the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said, let’s get you your unicorn”

Besides the teenage employee giving you strange looks as he helped you with the unicorn, you and Wanda had a great time in the store “can we go home now and show you how much I love you by marking every inch of your body”

Wanda gasped holding Buddy the unicorn’s ears “Our son is too young to be hearing such inappropriate things!”

You rolled your eyes but took your new ‘son’ from Wanda and placed him on your shoulders “there you go Buddy, your mommy and daddy want you to see the world from a tall height, you won’t get that from Wanda”

You laughed to yourself not seeing Wanda blush slightly at the moniker ‘mommy’ for her

“So, we’re parents now? Even for gays I think we’re moving very quick”

You shrugged “we already live together so it’s fine, we’re one big happy family”

Wanda stopped and you immediately turned to her looking her over “Wanda? You have to keep stopping or you’re going to give me a horrible heartless heart attack”

“A happy family? Can we have that?”

You calmed your imagined breathing and kissed her softly “of course my love, I mean sure I can’t give you kids but little buddy here will be enough for now right?”

Wanda wondered how many times you were gonna make her cry today, she was counting 3 now?

“I’m so mad I wasted all my time with Vision, you’re the most amazing person ever, even if you are a demon”

Chucking, you gave her a kiss on the forehead “a murderous demon I’ll have you know, and I’ll kill anyone that upsets you, you know that?”

“Is it strange I find that really arousing?” She laughed at your expression “you’re full of surprises, how long have we been living together? A year? I’m learning so much”

“We have so much more time now to get to know each other properly”

************************************************

Wanda’s alarm blared through the room and you reached over her sleeping form to switch it off and nuzzled back into her body kissing the back of her neck to wake her up “wake up princess, you’ve got classes”

While her eyes didn’t open her body Wanda’s body twisted around so she was now facing you and his her face in your neck “no” it was a small but firm whisper and it made you laugh

“We can cuddle later, you’ve got a 2 hour lunch, I’ll bring you home and we can eat then sleep”

Wanda’s eyes opened and stared at you “you know my schedule?”

You nodded “of course, I’ve always known it, that’s why I always picked you up after classes at the correct time”

Wanda thought about it, you were always right there outside the university or in the cafeteria eating for her, that was sweet “okay I’d like that, can we have those sandwiches you made one time that looked like the ones off of Scooby doo?”

“Damn right we can, those are my specialty”

***********************************************

“Natasha!” Wanda finally found her friend just before lunch and hugged her tight “I’ve not seen you all morning where have you been?”

“Hey Wands yeah sorry I just-

“Well well well, if it isn’t the dyke, how’s the whore’s nose? Vision told us he hit her pretty hard” Bucky approached the two of them with Steve

“Shove off assholes” Wanda tried pulling Nat away with her but Bucky grabbed a hold of her arm “hold on red we wanna know something”

“What” she replied still trying to get out of his grasp “why did you dump Vision for her? He’s a man and she’s in need of anger management, has she hit you yet? I bet she’s got some hook on her”

The two started laughing until a hand pulled Bucky around “why don’t you tell me how my right hook is”

Punching him hard enough Bucky was knocked to the floor and Steve scrambled to pick him up running away from you “fucking bitch!” You heard one of them shout not caring who as you looked over where he’d gripped Wanda making sure she was okay

“Did he hurt you?”

Wanda shook her head “no, no I’m okay thanks babe”

“You okay Wanda?” Nat hugged her best friend sparing you a small smile “hey Y/n”

“Hey sweet girl, I see you recovered from the party”

Nat nodded “yeah I did”

You sensed some tension and took Nat’s hand forcing her to look at you “honey, I know you think it’s awkward but it’s not, you’re a great kisser and you’ll make some girl very happy one day, okay? We good?”

Nat nodded “yeah sorry I didn’t want to be weird about it”

You agreed and kissed her on the cheek “you’re still my favourite princess, you know that right?”

Wanda jabbed you in the back “hey, what am I?”

You straightened and turned around to Wanda “you, you are my perfect little girl, the love of my life and the only one who can deal with me”

You went to kiss her but a voice stopped you both

“Excuse me but we don’t tolerate public displays of affection in this university”

You looked at the man and smiled “sorry Dr Pym but I thought you’d be okay with kissing since you certainly enjoy trying to kiss our dancers, poor ladies, the amount of time security had to try and pry you away-

“Thank you miss L/n just try to restrain yourself in public”

The man quickly scurried off and you all burst out laughing “does he really do that?”

“Yeah, he’s a creep at the club, but I like to keep him in line, a few punches here or there and he behaves”

“That’s really hot baby” Wanda kissed you hard meeting her hand wander down to your ass making you pull away suddenly “some really weird things turn you on and I can’t wait to discover them all”

Nat rolled her eyes “anyway before you two have sex against the wall I’m going to lunch, are you guys coming?”

“Actually I’m taking Wanda home and we’ll have lunch there, you’ve got the rest of the day off right?”

Wanda nodded “yeah, the professor is sick so we don’t have to come back”

“Perfect! Come on darling let’s go, see you later Nat”

You both waved Nat off and headed back to your car “so what’s for lunch?” Wanda asked and you shrugged “we could get burgers, I’ll be honest I didn’t make anything”

She laughed “forget the food let’s just go home and sleep, it’s been a long few days and I think it’s catching up to me”

You surprised her picking her up bridal style “Y/n!”

You chuckled holding her close so she doesn’t fall “I don’t want you collapsing from exhaustion princess”

“You’re amazing” she breathed out kissing you softly

“Thank you, now come on, I need to cuddle my girl”

*********************************************

When you both arrived home and settled in Wanda’s bedroom you gave her your hoodie to be comfortable in which she greedily took and put on enjoying the warmth, she watched you get ready for bed refusing to take her eyes off of you even as you got into bed and curled up with her and buddy

“Stop watching me Wanda, go to sleep, I promise I’ll be here when you wake up”

“Promise?” She giggled and you kissed her on the nose “I promise and so does our son”

*************************************************

When Wanda awoke you weren’t there, nor was the unicorn, in fact she wasn’t in her bedroom, wait was she still-

“Oh good you’re awake Wanda, douchebag has been calling you all morning so you need to tell him I haven’t killed you”

Wanda couldn’t believe it, had it all been a lie? It felt so real, a full 3 days and they weren’t real?

You clicking your fingers got Wanda’s attention “you good Wanda?”

“It was all a dream…”

You eyed her curiously “what was a dream? Not like I’ve had any of them in a while, a whole lot of nightmares though”

Wanda looked at you and considered telling you but decided against it “it was nothing, I’m feeling a lot better so just take me home please”

You agreed “alright, I’ll just tidy the place up a bit, and let you get ready” you left leaving Wanda in quiet room thinking about everything, the best 3 days of her life and they all turned out to be fake, just a really good and vivid dream?

She felt some shifting on the bed and sat up suddenly seeing Loki “did you enjoy my work? It was quite a lot to put into a few hours but I think I made it work”

Her eyes widened “it was you? You made that dream? Why?”

The man shrugged “to get you to see what you really want, I don’t mean to meddle in the affairs of demon/human relations but seeing a powerful demon be brought down by a little redhead human was getting to me, you needed to realise the error of your ways, I hope I did that”

He disappeared as quickly as he left and Wanda was left feeling empty yet again “he’s right” she whispered, “I need to fix this”

[rise-my-angel]

Melancholy Interlude

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Length: 16k

Warnings: angst/hurt comfort with happy ending, mentions of past trauma, discussing death of loved ones, smut, oral (f receiving), p in v, cockwarming, showering together, massaging, body insecurity,

Notes: This was supposed to be shorter at 8k until I doubled that in one day cus I can't help myself. I'm so sorry. Direct continuation of Haunted Anguish, next chapter here, apart of the Confused Warmth storyline.

You had never been sure how permanent your life in Jackson would be. It started as whispers you didn't quite believe, yet you found yourself leaned against the wall that evening, one hand holding up a map. It said laid out on your bent knee making pencil scratching on it while your flashlight was bit between your teeth for any kind of a light source. You never gave much thought to why your life was directed to that town specifically. Back then it was just another name, another place you didn't even know would still be standing when you got there. 

But Joel had called you family. A man grappling to accept his own place in this life, trying desperately to pull you along with him. Create a new family together that all three of you could live with. The only family you had ever known before was nothing more then a mystery. People who you had been been ripped away from before you could understand who you were to them. 

Perhaps that's why as you were struggling to pack up the last of your belongings. Leaving this small, isolating house meant having a new permanent place in Joel and Ellie’s family, but honestly? You weren’t quite sure what family was even supposed to feel like. Memory of what family felt like was filled with confusion and silence, the exact opposite of what Joel was trying to coax out of you. 

So you sat there in your once comforting old house, back against the thin metal bed frame as your feet were planted flat on the ground, one knee bent towards you much like the night before you chose to come here. Your nails dug into your lip as the other hand tapped against the leg laying down. Trying to decide what of your old life deserved to be brought into this one, and how much it would make Joel pull away from you if you still couldn’t let go of it. 

The thud of footsteps had your head rising in attention. Eyes wide with a pound of your heart causing you to scramble up to turn around and pretending to sort through the scattered items on the bed. A bag laid open and begging for you to just choose what to bring with you already, as you had no doubt Joel was about to comment on how empty it was. 

Steps coming towards the room, you caught partially imagine the sight behind you. Joel’s large frame taking up most of the door as he had one arm rested up high on the wood, with the other hung onto a belt loop on the same side his leg stood bent to the side. Turning your head just the slightest to the side, there Joel stood exactly as you pictured. 

A small moment of amusement just strong enough to pull a smirk on your lips before you turned back to the pile before you. Warmth enveloped your back as he placed a resting hand over it, leaning over your shoulder with a squint at your progress. “You’re going to end up kicking me out of my own room, bringing all that with you.” 

His chin jutted out to the bag just as you predicted. Your shoulders shrugged, not yet looking at him while you fiddled with the clothes you folded and refolded. “Just don’t want to take up space is all.” 

A rumbling hmm vibrated against your back from deep in his chest. Instead of responding, Joel just reached around you and grabbed the pile in one hand and tossed it unceremoniously into the bag. A plop of fabric slumped into the insides while Joel continued to reach and pull your small survival kit in front of you. 

Sparing a glance you were taken back to find Joel’s stark brown eyes already boring into your own. He only waited for a raise of your eyebrows to dismiss your complaint. “If that’s you taking up space I’d hate to see what the bare minimum would be.” 

You watched his body leave your side and the radiating warmth along with it as he leaned his body up against the adjacent wall. Arms crossed as he refused to take his eyes off you. “How many times am I going to have to remind you that I asked you to move in. Not the other way around.” 

The sigh that left your body was heavy, deflating your shoulders more if such a thing were even possible. Your nails dug into the skin of your fingers as you fiddled with them. “It’s just, moving in is supposed to be this big deal isn’t it?” 

That was a cope and you both knew it. So you kept not looking at him as if he couldn’t call your bluff if he didn’t see your face. Joel however, didn’t have the patience for this game. “Not sure I’d call saving you the 5 minutes it takes to walk to my house every morning, that you barley even have to do anymore anyways, a big deal.” 

He got a smirk out of you again. Joel had basically kept you at his house for the past week and a half like you already lived there. The only reason he brought up finally moving the rest of your stuff in today was only when you woke up this morning realizing you’d have to wear Joel’s stuff just to wash all of your own. 

You’re flat response of, “What? You suddenly decide you don’t want me wearing your clothes anymore?” Didn’t go unscathed. Only getting you a slap to your ass as Joel walked by you, muttering something under his breathe about you being a brat. If that man had his way, you’d live in his stuff just to satisfy his greedy eyes. 

Now though, your mind was flaring with hangups. The once worrying thought of invading in their lives creeping up on you. Only this time you had no excuse. You both knew he wanted you with him, and deep down you wanted it too. But being a father to Ellie was new, and you didn’t want to get in the way of it. 

Dropping the things in your hand, you turned your body entirely to look at him. Joel was too handsome for his own good, and it made you weak. Your voice came out meeker then intended, “I just want to be sure you asked me because you and Ellie genuinely want it, not because-” 

“Because you think I only asked you when you were upset? And not because I’ve been thinking about asking you every single time you go home for bed at night when I should be pulling you into mine” His face always looked serious. His soft features somehow capable of sitting harsh and stern on his face that you thought was anger when first meeting him. 

Joel’s eyes though spoke other emotions. Yearning swam through them with need, a perfect match to the itch in your muscles begging to seek comfort in his arms when you felt like this. Your head dropped in frustration. A wish flowing through you that you could just give up these urges to push him away. He has done nothing but shown you support and possibly something bordering on love, yet here you were trying to create scenarios in your head that were the opposite. 

This time when Joel’s body heat looms over you, he lets it consume you entirely as pulls your back into his chest. Automatically your eyes slide shut, leaning back into him with hands weakly grasping at his forearms around your front. His voice deep in your ear as he spoke. 

“If you want to stay here, that’s fine. I’m not demanding anything, but it’s still all on you. If you don’t want to stay with us you have to decide that for yourself. But don’t put that on me by making up excuses in your head, sweetheart.” You bit part of your lip instinctively when you felt Joel press a kiss to the top of your head. 

“Joel-”

He interrupted you, sliding his arms from your torso to rest his hands on your waist as he kept his nose pressed to your hair. Mumbling his words. “You come over when you’re ready. I’m leaving that space for you whether you take it or not.” 

You missed him already as he pulled away, the loud thud of his shoes echoing in the mostly empty house as he left. The last of his presence fading with the creaking front door and sounds of him descending the steps. 

It felt dirty, but there still was no time between Joel no longer in sound range and you bending to the ground, tearing out the loose floorboard to drag out the small wooden that lived in there. Resting it on the bed, you flicked it open rummaging through the scattered contents. Finding the leather binding at the bottom, you dragged your fingertips over it. 

The urge to open it back up and reread the text for what would feel like the millionth time once again resurfacing. The tome of writings and works that filled it once was a memory you stopped caring to obsess over. Your past was laid out out in detail that didn’t matter for a long time. Everyone had a past they wished to forget. 

So why did it keep yelling at you to remember it? Look at it again and ask of it’s relevancy to your life now it begged. But your past was only getting in the way. You’d bring this manuscript of memories to your life with Joel and it would loom over you, and it would be much harder to keep secret. 

Everything else on the bed got tossed into your bag, while the journal filled with painful memories you haunted yourself with once again got stowed away in the floorboard. Hastily being hidden back in it’s place, as if the wood wasn’t disturbed beside the rest of the floor. 

You didn’t look back at the house as you walked hastily onto the front yard, but you did however come face to face with the only other person who could do a better job at convincing you to move in then Joel could. 

Ellie sat on top of a tall rock, hands tapping at her thighs while she looked around. Her head only perking up when she saw you, but seemed to hold herself back from jumping down eagerly at the sight of your things. Instead slowly sliding her feet onto the gravel trying to keep an even tone. “Is that the rest of it?” 

Your heart tickled at how much she was pretending to be neutral. Without much thought, you slid your bag down your arm and tossed it to her. Watching with a hand hiding the laugh wanting to burst out at the sight of Ellie almost falling back onto the rock with an ‘oof’ at the sudden weight. 

Getting her bearings she glared up at you with a baby pout. “Did you pack all your furniture in here too?” 

That got you rolling your eyes, no longer bothering to hide the smile as you stepped to her. Grabbing the bag and sliding it back over your shoulder, the other hand pulling Ellie into your free side by the shoulder. “You and Joel live together or something? It’s like hearing his jokes but coming out of your mouth.” 

Ellie deciding to stay leaning into your side the short walk back to her home. “Yeah, but I’m the one people actually laugh at.” 

Your face pinched in amusement, unable to hold back what would no doubt rile her up. “Oh? Laugh at what? Your jokes or just you?” Not much strength went behind how much she shoved you, and her face falling at how little you stumbled only got you to laugh out loud this time. 

“Don’t say it.” Her tone was grumpy, much like the very man she lived with and you let the laugh go until it was a chuckle. You didn’t say it, but you definitely were laughing at her that time. Apparently you being apart of their family meant being infected with the incessant urge to make jabs at one another.

Just another thing you weren’t used too.

The evening was a little bit easier then the packing. Joel all but threw your bag onto the floor of his bedroom before crowding you up against the wall. His lips moulding against yours with his hands cupping your cheeks. His tongue licked and teased at yours without ever fully committing, in and effort to restrain his dwindling self control. 

Your hands snuck underneath the collar of his shirt to run your palms over his shoulders and the back of his neck, nails digging into the exposed skin. All you could do was surrender your lips to his kiss and hold onto him for the ride. 

As he deepened the kiss, one of your hands snaked up to rake through his hair pulling a bass like grumble deep in his chest. Joel’s knee forcing it’s way between your legs, and using an arm to wrap around your back pulling you down onto it. 

The shock against your core even through the layers spiked in your veins, a mix of a cry and a moan escaping your lips. Joel’s door not even fully closed you bit your lip harshly and dug your nails deeper into his skin to ground yourself. 

Joel however, groaned into your mouth and pushed up against you the same time he pulled you down again, slowly dragging his thigh back and forth ever so slightly. His hands strong, keeping you pressed against him, the constant pressure filling up in your lungs only able to come out in breathy pants to contain yourself. 

You both knew now wasn’t the time though. There were things to do, Ellie was up and around but Joel didn’t make it easy. A hand at the back of your head coaxing you back in every time you pulled away from his kiss. He was all consuming though, never not putting everything into his touch and trying to get away from his greediness as a challenge. 

Gently you pulled your hands from under his shirt collar, smoothing down to press against him just above the stomach as you tried to fight against his hand keeping you attached to his mouth. For a moment Joel looked concerned at you pushing him away. His grip on you turning urgent instead of needy and his eyes ducked more to lock with yours only to find softness instead of upset. 

You rubbed against his torso, and another along his cheek. Feeling his beard scratching at your skin delightfully. “Later.” 

You felt his hands pull away from such a greedy hold and simmer down to a gentle rest on your waist as he looked down at you, his lips just a tad more plump from the roughness he kissed you with. His nose rubbed against the skin of your cheek, his breathe hitting you with each soft spoken word. “What, you move in and suddenly you think you’re going to start telling me what to do?” 

Grinning, you kissed just below his ear as your thumbs stroked over where they could reach his covered stomach. “Get back to work, Miller. We got all the time in the world for this later.” You both knew the idea of Joel being ordered around by you was laughable. Whatever independence he respected whole heartedly in your everyday life went out the window the second that door closed.  You put your needs in the palm of his hands when it came to intimacy and neither of you had interest in changing that. 

The chuckle on his lips lit his face up, Joel pulled you into his side and made his way to the partially opened door. Leaning to kiss the top of your head with a mumble, “You bet your ass I’ll make time, sweetheart.” 

Finally pulling away from you Joel walked into the main room, clearly having things to go over with Ellie as you walked to the kitchen table and moved a large pack up onto it. You circled around to see the main part of the house as you pulled out an axe handle detached from it’s blade, looking a little worse for wear. Not anything that couldn’t be fixed, but you couldn’t help but wonder what on earth Tommy had been doing to bust up the handle like that. 

Strange how it still felt intrusive, glancing up to see Ellie and Joel in a whisper toned conversation you weren’t invited too. Ellie’s face bright with some kind of teasing mischief while contrasting against the much more flat faced fondness Joel was giving to her. So you looked back down. Focused on what you were doing, and prayed maybe living like a normal family would just get easier with time. 

Being in Joel’s home with him felt routine yet foreign. Like being here as a part of his life now switched a flip in your head, had you looking at this life and wondering if everyone else felt as distant as you. If someone were to ask about your previous life you weren’t even sure what you would tell them. Once haunting dreams were pushed into the back of your mind as your new life filled your nightmares with new images. 

It wasn’t as if you’d never seen anything domestic, small pockets of people for years made a life with some semblance of peace. Hell if you walked into Tommy and Maria’s home on any given day you might not even think it was a changed world outside those walls. They were normal. So why did being normal with Joel feel so odd? Especially when you knew it wasn’t his fault.

Joel had tried not long ago to entice you to bed, a deep rumbling in your ear and wandering hands that burned in it’s wake stirred your core. You were with them, with him. You chose a life with them and it seemed to have given Joel as desperate yearning for proof. Have you in his home and not worry that he’ll wake up one day from the fantasy. 

You gently pushed him back, told him you’d be there in a second. Which by now, was at least twenty minutes ago. Instead of being in his arms, your own were wrapped around each other as they rested on the soaking banister outside. It wasn’t a pouring rain, but a mist that reminded you all too well of the day you were walked into town. A defensive expression and held back silence as it slowly soaked your hair, barley beginning to dry when a door flew open and in walked a broad man with a permanent glare that for some reason found your defensive silence enticing. 

Now that glare had simmered down to a general gruffness, the past year since he arrived softened those edges, whereas the months you had been here brought struggles and unknowns into his attempt at peace. Interrupting the desire to feel like a family by having the memory of your pathetic excuse of a childhood, and how that somehow continues you to haunt your life.  Looming over your mind like a parasite. 

Or a fungus to be more insensitive. You’d smirk at your own terrible sense of humour, but honestly Ellie is the only person on earth who’d consider laughing at that and even then, you’re not quite sure how much she actually knew about it. How much did the Marlene actually tell her about her truth and what the consequences would have been without Joel? 

The light misting you had been receiving lulled you into your thoughts enough that the dim outside light flickering on startled you. Before you could question it, the door creaked open and closed as Joel found a spot pressed close to your side, arms brushing together. 

“Didn’t think having sex on the front lawn was part of the plan for the night.” Somehow his warmth still enveloped the side closest to you even over the mist. He didn’t pull you into his side or back to his chest though, he knew when to let you come to him. 

Barley managing a smirk, any joke to respond with died as you opened your mouth. “I uh, wasn’t really ready. Too much on my mind I guess.” Your jaw clenched along with your lungs tightening hoping not to give away the anxiety in your breathing. 

You could see Joel nodding in his peripherals, his lips pursed in thought looking straight ahead into the dark street as you were. His eyes weren’t quite on you when he turned his head slightly to the side, maybe enough to watch your nails unconsciously carve into the wood they rested on. For some reason, you took his silence as offence. “I didn’t mean- nothing to do with not wanting you or anything. I meant like, I’d be distracted you know?” 

You couldn’t quite see but Joels eyes slipped shut as his jaw clenched even harder with the single shake of his head. Still not looking up at you as he spoke, disappointment flowing through his voice. “I wish you’d stop doing that.” 

Finally your head turned, looking at him properly as Joel did the same to you. You raised an eyebrow at him while your lungs continued to restrict your airflow. Joel’s eyes didn’t keep the same disappointing tone of his voice. Instead they held a sort of frustration. “Making excuses for yourself. Acting like you know what I want to hear, when all I care about is what’s actually going on up here.” 

Your eyes fluttered briefly as you felt Joel’s hand smooth over the side of your head. His touch lingering a second too long but still pulling back to give you that space. Biting the inside of your cheek, you felt your own frustration build. Pushing up on the banister, your palms now sat flat atop the wet surface finally giving you a chance to take a deeper breathe. 

“Does it ever feel weird to you?” You looked over at Joel who was now giving you a questioning look, but you didn’t know how much you wanted to watch him as your continued. “Having all of this? Waking up with a normal life when the last time any of us had it was drastically different?” 

Joel had never been made quite clear on your own past, but he has been open to you in quiet moments during the night about his. What led him here, what brought him and Ellie together, how far off track his life became once everything started, and most painfully, what he lost that brought him here. You never asked about Sarah directly, it wasn’t your place but you both knew what was being unsaid.

Joel pushed up on the banister to copy your own stance, not needing to say anything about the hand closest to him that twitched slightly. “The life itself doesn’t feel weird to me. But accepting that I was allowed to have it again was. Well, more painful if I’m being honest.” 

Your fingers tingled with an urge to reach out, link at least a pinky to his but you didn’t want to interrupt him as he found his mind wandering in the forest. “Raising Ellie isn’t anything like what it was with Sarah. Our life now is completely different then the one I had with her. Getting used to that wasn’t the hard part.” 

Joel’s own hand slid over to rest over top the very wrist you had been glancing at. This time you’re the one who filled the void between words. “It was accepting that wanting it wasn’t wrong.” 

His eyes were bright but filled with a glaze that wasn’t caused by the mist. His grip tightened and then loosened on repeat as his shoulders sat high and tense on his body. “I don’t regret the way it turned out. With Ellie I mean. If you send me and her back a year when I first met her I’d do it all over again for her.” There was a pause before a tiny smirk started to grow. “Maybe be less of an asshole about it but that’s beside the point.” 

The grip on his wrist finally loosened, enough that you could see the colour returning to his skin as he spoke. “But if I’m being honest? Sarah would’ve given me shit for how long it took me to even consider trying any of this again. She was always trying to find ways to make it easier for me or to just convince me to make things easier on myself. Not sure she’d be happy that it took me all this time to actually start listening to her. To just do things for myself for once.”

Your heart filled with a sorrow, despite the love in his voice the pain would never go away. But she was right, if Joel wasn’t going to make it easier on himself then you and Ellie were there to start picking up the slack. You found your courage and reached over with a pink to lightly wrap it across his own, but Joel wasn’t having it. 

The same hand lifted up suddenly and grabbed your hand entirely, holding it firm in his warm grip before resting it back down. His thumb positioned just right to stroke the skin of your own wrist. 

You didn’t have anything to say to make him feel better, but you knew at least one thing that you knew to be true. “She’d be proud of you.” You could feel his muscles straining through this arm down to his fingertips as you took a step to the slide, pressing your body much more against him. “Everything you’ve done? She’d still be proud. You love each other, and even now that still has never gone away. And it’s never going to.”

You couldn’t bare to look at him at that moment. Already knowing how he looked, trying to old back a silent agony that threatened to water up in his eyes if he dwelled for too long. Joel barley started to speak before you refused to let him backtrack. “I’m proud of you too. I’m glad you have all this, actually found a life again.” 

He used his hold on you to pull you into him, his body taking a step back to position you right in front of him. Hands still joined now resting above your heart and his other hand keeping you against him at the waist. The shaky breathe he took stabbed a your heart. His jaw pressed against the side of your head his voice was a coarse whisper. “Then let me do the same for you. Stop pretending I deserve shit that you don’t.” 

Your heart beat harder in your chest, not quite in anxious way but with just the right amount of force that you could feel each beat like a thump. He wanted you to just stop hiding from him, and realistically? Hadn’t he seen enough of you already to know what he’s getting into? It took him weeks upon weeks to learn how to balance healing and being a father again. 

The struggles you two have been through since you arrived in Jackson months ago told him everything he needed to know. Joel knew you better then a single person before ever even wanted to try, hiding from him was useless at this point. You’re lives were intertwined and that’s the way he wanted it. So you just said what the core issue was. 

“I never had a family before this. Not a real one. I don’t know how any of this works.” Ripping it off like a bandaid. Only that rip had Joel’s hands tighten against you. 

You never had one in the first place, and his along with part of his soul was ripped away from him.  His lips pressed against the top of your head as he spoke. “Stop hiding how you feel, and you’re doing just fine, sweetheart.” 

You let go of his hand and turned in his hold. Joel’s arm moving to brace beside you on the banister once more essentially locking you in his space. Much like earlier that day, your hands rested on his stomach, palms smoothed over the soft fabric. Your eyes forcing themselves to look into his own, overwhelmed by the fondness he poured into yours. “I’m not trying to push you away. I just-” 

Joel left your waist to cup the side of your face, “Need time to get used to it?” 

Words got caught in your throat, an emotion crawling up the pipeline to escape that you didn’t want to ruin the sweeter tenderness of the moment. So you nodded instead. 

Joel tilted your jaw to look up at him before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips. Your bodies relaxing as you sighed into the kiss. Letting him guide your mouth without deepening or demanding them further. 

A man truly capable of taking your breathe away with a simple press of his lips you felt lightheaded the more he kept your mouths together, but you didn’t have the will power to pull away. Instead choosing to press up against his front forcing both of his hands to steady you on your hips. 

Joel tilted his head just slightly to change the angle as his own will power cracked a bit. The brief pause you got as he moved gave him the chance to tease the inside of your mouth with his tongue. He pulled you into his hips tighter as your own hands drifted up to grip at his shoulders. 

The more you let him taste you, the weaker you made one another. You came out here alone to escape this intimacy and Joel followed to keep your anxiety from pulling you away. Not to continue what he desired in the first place, yet here you were. Both of you wanting to take away the other’s pain.

Your tongue brushing back against his only to have him pull back, his kiss back to almost a caress, but never did he try and pick up the speed. Just keeping your mouths pressed together like a surviving need. His hands begun to wander, sliding your shirt up just enough to press his hands against your skin. 

Gripping the plushness he found, Joel instinctively pushed his hips into yours unable to control the growing hardness underneath his clothes. However quickly he got you worked up from his rising touch around your sides, shirt rising more and more with it, you had him worked up far quicker with a kiss alone. You let out a muffled moan into his mouth as you felt the bulge between you two grow and rub against your own core. 

You wrapped your arms round the back of his neck raking through the damp hair as the mist continued to make moving against one another slicker. Joel groaned back into your mouth as he greedily continued to press harder against your hips. The sensation of his cock growing harder while pressed right up against you had you pulling away from his mouth just to catch your breath. 

Joel rubbed his nose gently up and down the length of yours, never bothering to open his eyes as he reveled in how comforting your presence made him. As you tried to gently brush your nose back, he playfully nudged you instead, your face pushed slightly to the side so he could continue his path tracing his nose across your soft cheek. 

Your heart lifted, floating in mid air as you let out an honest giggle. Joel kissing you once as he chuckled back. Opening his eyes without pulling away to look at your expression. Lighter then he’d seen it in days. That lightness though, turned to a jumping embarrassment at the exact same time Joel’s turned to it’s standard flat grumpiness at a particular voice behind them. 

“Back to fooling around in the middle of the night so mom won’t catch you Joel?” 

While Joel kept his hold on you, not even bothering to give you the decency of letting your shirt fall back down. Simply not willing to let go of your soft skin for that long he just looked over your shoulder with the blankest of expressions he could muster. 

“You here to watch or did you actually want something?” Furthering the deep grump look on his face, you forced his hands to leave you as you turned back to face the front. Tommy stood not too far from the stairs, one leg bent slightly and hands on his hips to accompany the bemused grin on his face. 

His hand gestured to the porch light, “Saw that was on and I figured I’d stop by to tell you there’s a few spots around the perimeter we should check out sometime in the next few days.” 

Joel’s eyes narrowed more. “That’s what couldn’t wait until morning?” His hands unwilling to be on their own, Joel grabbed at your waist under your shirt once more. Gripping the plush skin there like a stress reliever. 

Tommy himself held a bit of a serious but hesitant look as he rubbed the front of his face. “We should go sooner rather then later. Maria’s mentioned a few weird things around the outskirts that I want to deal with before it becomes an actual issue.” 

You didn’t need to look behind you to know Joel’s head was just as deep in thought as his brothers. It was often they were on the same wavelength about this sort of thing. Your own curiosity getting the better of you, you leaned forward to rest your palms against the banister again, not at all noticing how that left your ass to press up against Joel’s clothed erection just enough to tease him. His hands gripped your hips tightly, keeping you pressed there yet still paying full attention. 

You were the worst thing that ever happened to Joel’s concentration.

“What sort of things?” Tommy looked at you as he shrugged at your question. Not dismissively, but in an unsure kind of manner. 

“Just some stuff out of place, broken fence pole here and there. Nothing massive but it’d be best we deal with it now before some shithead sneaks his way in and causes issues.” 

You tried to stand back up but Joel’s grip stopped you. He didn’t even flinch as he subtly pulled your ass harder against his covered cock, his face and eyes on his brother all business. There was no mistakening his cock twitching against the curve of your ass cheeks it strained behind jeans to slide through. Joel’s voice a bit more gruff, sending a shock down between your legs as you blinked excessively to drain the sudden rush inside you from showing. 

And Joel called you the brat. 

Both brothers agreeing on a time and place before Tommy said his goodbyes. He had already turned around headed home when his voice shouted out one last tease. “Better sneak her in through the window before Ellie sees you’re still up.”

You smirked as Joel rolled his eyes. Finally alone again, Joel tugged you up to stand properly, but turned you with him towards the front door. Before you could open it though, he cupped your chin with his fingers pulling you to his mouth for another innocent kiss. 

His thumb reached to trace back and forth against your bottom lip. Pressure increasing when you gave it a tiny peck, eyes happily watching his. “C’mon trouble maker. Before the boss lady catches us.” 

His smile was just soft, pulling you in for another kiss lasting seconds longer. His lips brushing against yours as he spoke. “We’re honest with each other from now on, okay?” Your nod wasn’t enough. “I need you to say it out loud. Promise me.”

You reached up, scratching gently at the scruff of his beard. “I promise.” 

His brows narrowed as he nodded in acceptance. Joel though was always good at compartmentalizing, and a dark glint slid across his eyes as did a smirk. Teasing you with a brush of his tongue once more in the next kiss, refusing to pull away from tasting your mouth until you did for air. His voice was deep and dripping in a lust that burned your bones. “Now about what you ran away from earlier.” 

You let out a genuine surprised smile as he grabbed your hips. Pushing you towards the front door only letting go to open it, get you inside with one hand still guiding you. The second you both were inside Joel used that one hand to tug you forcefully into his chest. 

His head bent to whisper in your ear along with a nibbling kiss. “Now be good and go lay out on our bed for me.” His tongue licked and kissed along your neck that he could reach from behind. “I have other places on you I need to taste.” 

Shoving you forward you heard the front door finally close, and followed by the click of the lock as you walked towards his room at the end of the hall. Or your room to be specific. No doubt Joel was going to turn that kind of mentality into a lecturing lesson if you didn’t knock that off. 

The last time though that you ever shared a room with someone else, was before you went off by yourself. Was when you were traveling with a group in a place where there were only so many rooms to sleep in. People that turned around and stabbed you in the back, or more accurately, tried to attack you in your sleep. You were alone until Jackson. 

You hadn’t quite listened to Joel. You found yourself stuck as you sat at the edge of the bed, hands braced on your knees trying to imagine living in this room like it was yours. Small hints of Joel were everywhere but even with the things you brought over there was very little you could add to it. It still was his room to you. 

By the time Joel crept in quietly, his eyes narrowed at your eyes distant looking at nothing. Your fingers tapping at your legs the only movement you were making. He knew talking more of it out right now wouldn’t help you. You were lost in your head enough as it was, especially the past week and a half. 

Sitting down and coaxing uncomfortable truths more then you’ve already shared today wasn’t the answer. No, Joel needed to do something for you that he knew you weren’t going to even consider doing for yourself. He needed to get you away from your thoughts for a while. 

Ironically, Joel so naturally did for you what Sarah had insisted he do for himself. Stand back and stop thinking for a little while.

Your eyes slid to the side to see his figure near the door. You could hazily see him pulling off his flannel leaving him only in a soft grey tee shirt. Turning your head to look at him more you were caught on the shirt rather then his determined expression. Joel just looked so soft like this. No stiff posture at the ready for any moves, no layers bulking his already large and intimidating frame, no weapons strapped to either of you braced for the worst. 

No words were exchanged as he stepped to you, his fingers pulling your chin up to look at him. His brown eyes were dark and lost in a thought of his own, but Joel was better at juggling his life and his mind then you were. You stretched your neck up to meet his body leaning over you. 

What you assumed would be a gentle kiss consumed you as soon as your lips met one another. Joel’s hand grasped the back of your neck, keeping you angled up at his will. His kiss was harsh, much harsher then anything earlier in the day. 

He moved against yours demanding you obey him, even through how much he stole your breathe away. A large hand grasped at your hip as he worked in tandem with you to push further onto the bed and pushing your body down entirely when you reached the middle. Climbing up on top of you, his hand drifted up to cup the back of your head as his tongue teased you without ever following through. 

Trying to pull away, you drifted to his neck without ever keeping you mouth off of him. Small kisses turned to scratches of your teeth before you bit down with more force. A stuttered groan left him as his body seized up. The hand on your head leaving to press into the sheets beside you curled into a fist.

You could feel the coarse brush of his facial hair against your cheek the higher up his neck you bit at, but it felt as if it heightened your greed to give more to him. There was no amount of Joel’s roughness in appearance or nature that you didn’t bask in. It just scratched against you, fueling your own need to lightly lick at whatever your teeth just sunk into. Ease what roughness was imprinted on him even by you. 

Too distracted by the low needy sounds he tried and failed to hold back you didn’t realize his hands had moved. It wasn’t until he yanked your pants half way down your thighs did you even realize he undid the button and zipper. You gasped, pulling from his neck to see dark eyes and his mouth slightly open from harsh breaths. Using to fingers he tapped at your naked thigh, “Up.” 

Nodding you gave him enough room to slid it down further and watched as he hastily yanked it the rest of the way off and tossed them behind. His brows were narrowed and his face much sharper then when you were outside. For a second Joel just stared at you, raising an eyebrow waiting to see if you cooperated. 

Hesitantly, you bent your knees up on the bed, your feet flat on the sheets as you spread them just slightly before Joel with one hand pulled your underwear off. The sound of a strain in fabric heard from the lack of patience he had to wait for you to lift your hips up once more. Tossing them even further then your bottoms had reached. 

Whatever distance your legs spread wasn’t anywhere near what he wanted. Joel pushed your knees apart and wasted no time filling the empty space between them. Brushing his lips over your inner thigh, his hands braced on them as well tightly. His facial hair itched you the closer it got to right between your legs, but paled in comparison to the sudden sharp bite he dug his teeth into. You gasped loudly, but the sound of his hand leaving your other thigh to smack at the skin echoed louder. 

Trying to move your legs to give his broad shoulders more space, Joel shoved them for you, straining the muscles as he pushed them beyond what you could stretch yourself and kept them there by pushing his shoulders into the space. “I’m the one doing the work here, got it?” 

His nose traced a path from the top of your mound down to nudge at your clit instead of expecting you to reply. Your nerves sparked alight as he licked your clit, the most feather light nibble next and then another lick. Working you with a sting and a smooth pleasure that had you floating. 

Your feet strained and fidgeted against the sheets as he refused to let up. His path started to take longer, as he left shamelessly mess kisses down the length of your pussy before licking back up to your clit. Nothing but a tease that built up such a coiling pleasure that you were left with barley any thoughts to form into words that weren’t him. 

The deeper he teased his tongue into you with every swipe down, the more he peeked up to see your hands either tearing into your hair or grasping at the sheets below. You didn’t know why you felt him smirk into your folds, but it made you whimper at the sensitive movement. 

If you asked Joel why he did, he’d have nodded to your hands ever finding a place to stay. Joel had no issue with greedily running through your hair as you sucked his cock, but you never found the same courage to reach down and rake yours into his when he went down on you. One of these days he’d finally corrupt you enough, get you to take whatever you needed from him. 

For now though, his hands pushed your thighs now as wide as possible before finally tasting inside of you like he needed. Your hips jolted and your legs strained under his grasp as he licked into you leaving no spot inside untouched. 

Your voice only strong enough to mutter a breathy almost inaudible, “Oh fuck” as his mouth worked you over aggressively. One hand of his slid up over your thigh to just above your mound. His thumb pushing down against your clit and rubbing circles, up and down, anything he could muster while the rest of his hand and arm pushed your hips down significantly. 

Shaking in his hold as he lapped up what you gave him, seeking those prized spots inside of you that had you throw out moans without any filter. The pressure against your pelvis increased how sensitive his work on your clit felt, made you burn the more his mouth tasted you and sent your vision white and ears ringing before you could understand how quickly your orgasm approached. 

The coil inside of you tensing you with pleasure, you didn’t even hear Joel. None of his rasping words hit your ears. You may not have noticed, but your brain did. A warmth flowing through your veins and had your moans desperate and bordering on almost emotional, but it was muted from your consciousness at the warm lick of Joel’s tongue inside you. 

Together it all mixed, and with no true warning, Joel’s hands quickly grasped at the sides of your hips and held you firmly in place as you came. Nothing but needy cries from your mouth, but Joel refused to leave your cunt until you grasped onto him to make him stop. 

You felt shocks at your core at how little he eased up on how aggressively he licked and tasted you after your orgasm started letting you go back down to earth. “Wait, J-Joel, fuck,”

Sliding his greedy mouth back up the length of your core and back to the same treatment he teased you and your clit with at the start, but without any care of how sensitive and soaked you were now. He wanted you to tell him what you needed. Even if it was just to breathe, for him to ease up on your overstimulated pussy for a moment, he needed you to tell him what it was you needed from him. 

You trusted him to take care of you, but he scraped his teeth at your clit trying to coax you to be honest about how you wanted him to take care of you. You pleaded with no real meaning behind it, a cry for him to understand. He did. But he wanted you to know what you wanted. 

It was too much, your brain was foggy and his mouth between your legs was more then you could handle. You started to feel a lurch in your chest and finally it spurred you to reach down. Not even thinking about it, you instinctively raked your hand through his hair and begged. “Joel please, I need a minute. I can’t-” 

One single kiss was pressed to your clit, and Joel pulled away from you. Your eyes were shut, finally able to catch your breathe. His own breathing hitting your face, nose gently rubbing against your cheek as his face leaned over yours. One hand stroking your other cheek and his body laying over yours. His weight pressing you down like a weighted blanket to keep you calm. 

“I got you, sweet girl. You still with me?” His voice strained but soothing. You nodded, feeling Joel kiss your cheek and turning your mouth to press much more gentle against yours. His lips coaxing your heart to slow down to normal finally. 

You slid your arms around him, happily keeping him pressed against you for a while. You nudged your nose against his as you scratched your nails into his hair. “Let me take care of you.” 

Joel shook his head no. Kissing your lips, then your forehead before pressing his against yours. “That’s my job, sweetheart.” He smiled at your brows narrowing along with a pout on your lips. 

“But-”

He kissed you once more, “How about you just keep me nice and warm for a while?” 

In your still far away brain, you didn’t quite get what he meant but you nodded anyways. You trusted him, and all you wanted was to say yes for making him feel good too. He shushed you gently when you reached out for him. Eyes fluttering open to see him taking a moment to shed the rest of his clothes before crawling back to you. 

Joel turned your body to the side, his face in your neck as one hand trailed down to his cock that was pressed up against your ass. You lifted your leg slightly and Joel pulled it back to rest over his, “Up here, that’s right, good girl.” 

He chuckled to himself at the shiver rolling through you at that one. Gently he swiped his cock over your soaked entrance a few times before pressing his chest against your back. Sliding his cock inside of you, there was no resistance to his thick size so soon after having his mouth on you. 

Whimpering slightly, you reached an arm back to wrap behind his neck and Joel kissed the side of your head. You barley could turn to see even part of his face with your eyes struggling to stay open. “Like this?” 

Joel pulled you as close into him as possible, you gasping at the shift of his cock inside of you fitting so snugly. “Just like this, sweetheart.” 

Neither of you moved for a bit, but your limbs felt heavy despite the delicious way his cock filled you even so still. Your head moved further into the pillow as your voice was sleepy. “Joel, I don’t know if I can-” 

Joel’s own eyes were closed at that point. Pressed a kiss to your hair and pulled you as close as he could get you, trying to control himself at your walls clenching around him. “I’m happy just like this.” Your eyebrows narrowed despite your eyes themselves sliding shut like his and you weren’t surprised Joel somehow sensed that. “Just for a little while.” 

That little while wasn’t exactly true. It took little time for you both to fall asleep. Joel only having enough strength to pull the sheet up to cover your naked bottom half before he fell asleep. His arms tight around you, and your pussy tight around his cock. You two would tackle anything heavier another time he decided. 

Though, that wasn’t quite true either. In fact something else entirely would come creeping up on you. But for now, you tried to balance between letting him in, and letting go for yourself. 

It always annoyed you when the weather was like this. The sun bright and clear as it beamed down onto the street, giving the illusion that it would feel warm as it baked into your skin. But instead you were left with a crisp chill in the air and enough snow that forced you to shovel off the platform you were currently on. One of your legs sat tucked under your body as the other hung over the edge, scattered wood sat to the side of you. Holding up large screws up to the sunlight, one eye squinting as you tried to make out how in shape it was. 

Maria had all but thrown a carrying case at you not long ago when she asked “You know much about bows?” Your eyebrow raised in question but you nodded. 

“I know enough.” 

Suddenly you were catching a heavy bag with pieces clanked inside of it. “You can keep them if you have the patience to put them all together.” 

Now here you sat, the limbs of two bows scattered as you tried to find which parts were the right fitting attachment. You had hardly paid attention as you looked back to the pile, tossing the screw aside with a huff before looking through the assortment that had just sat loose at the bottom of the bag. Not hearing anything coming up to you, your head shot up eyes sharp in alert as a heavy foot gently kicked at the foot dangling over the platform edge. 

It was severely unfair of Joel to stand there, the sun shining down on him in just the perfect way that lit his skin up with a glow, and reflected off of the scattered greys in his hair. Nothing even close to a proper winter jacket for how cold it had been getting sat on his person, a stark contrast to your similar one that barley kept you from shivering. At least Joel ran warm enough that it didn’t matter for him. 

One of his hands reached out, pulling a limb up towards him as he tossed it mindlessly in his hand. “Finally getting that storage closet cleared out?” 

Your face twisted slightly as you turned the screw in tight enough to strain your hand. “Yeah, some old recurves. Not in the best shape, but I figure they’ll do the job well enough.” Reaching to the side you came upon nothing, realizing Joel had the other limb. 

Reaching out for it, Joel pulled his arm back as your hand flailed to nothing. Your face fell flat, mouth pressed in a thin line as Joel’s eyes swam with amusement. Deciding to lean his legs against the concrete, he relented. Giving you the limb, and crossing his arms over his chest as he now watched your focused work. “You shoot with a bow often?” 

Shrugging, you noticed him reach over your lap to grab the second bows parts. “Somewhat. I was in an old shooting range for not too long. No guns let, obviously, but the inside shop still had a couple kinds of bows laying around. One of the guys in our group tried teaching me to use the crossbow, but it didn’t really work for me.” 

Starting to slid the string into place you noticed Joel was much faster at putting it together then you had been. “Their reload time’s the problem. If you’re just out hunting that’s one thing, but not exactly my first choice for close quarters.” 

Watching him work, it always pinged inside of you how easily Joel put together things. How seamlessly he would work like he didn’t even need to think about it. His hands large against the thin handle didn’t help the matter. “You think your aim’s still on par?” 

Diverting your eyes up to his face, once again you felt that distracting pull. His handsome features trained on you with a warmth that if you let yourself, could envelop you completely. “Probably a bit better. Didn’t really use guns back then and we didn’t stay there long. So I’m either pretty good,” 

“Or pretty shit.” A smirk falling on both of your faces as you rolled your eyes to the side, pulling the bag over to you to pull our the arrow bundles. Joel relieving you of the one on your lap, he held them up side by side, and looked back over to you with an inquisitive expression. By the time you looked back over, he was holding out the one he had put together. “That one feels a couple pounds lighter, it’ll be a better fit.” 

Jumping down suddenly, Joel found himself watching your side carefully. He knew at this point it was mostly healed over, the bloody torn open skin at the least. Enough time had passed, but Joel also had yet to see what remained. For the past two weeks Joel hadn’t seen you wear anything besides long sleeves more then once maybe. 

If he took if off you, it was only allowed in the dark. Otherwise, no one but you were allowed to look at it. He was starting to understand why you seared the one on your arm. A burn mark was easier to look at then what lay hidden underneath. It was easier for you to never have to see it. 

Now though? There was no chance in hell he was going to do the same to your side. He refused to harm you at all, let alone that badly. He also just couldn’t handle your reaction. Something like that would have you screaming in agony, and there was no part of Joel’s heart that would be able to handle that. 

Waving you to the side, he grabbed the longer bundle and had you follow him more out back. No one around but a few empty crates just strewn over the ground. Putting a hand out to stop you in your tracks, Joel walked over to a low hanging tree branch and hung one of the small lighter crates over the thick bark. 

Turning to you, it struck you as a challenge. His eyes glinting in question, and hiding his smile as he walked back when you started pulling off the tie keeping the arrows together. “Easy enough.” 

Gently placing the bow in his hands down, he walked up to your side head close to yours. “You remember your form?” Was he rumbling deep near your ear on purpose or was it just a demanding yearning in your heart that particular day? “Show me.” 

Turning to the side, Joel watched silently as you loaded up and aimed. A shaky breathe leaving your lips, and letting your hold go. Sure enough, you felt your shoulders sag as it just barley missed that tree entirely. He didn’t say anything, but you felt the embarrassment regardless. “Just a warm up is all.” 

Joel let you get as far as loading the arrow before starling you with hands on your waist. “Feet turned all the way to the side, just like that.” Guiding you to face almost entirely to the right with only your upper body twisted to look. 

His hands had you buzzing under all those layers. You swallowed down that feeling, but only made you aware of the beating in your heart. His hands never left you, just stepping in closer so his chest hovered close to your back. “Thumb away from the front.” 

It took you a moment to even hear what he said, so Joel showed for you. Grasping your fingers and pulling them into position away from the open air. “Right, uhm, yeah.” That was well spoken wasn’t it? 

Trailing along your arm Joel once again held both sides of your waist as you let another breathe out before trying again. This time it hit the tree, but too low and off to the side. Your jaw clenched, trying to hold back a growing upset. Two misses in a row, now you were just feeling embarrassed and stupid in front of Joel’s watchful gaze. 

This time the warm rumbling was right in your ear, Joel’s hands sliding down to hold tighter at your hips as he pressed his back into you. Feeling your body mould into his front without any thought, stammered silently trying to come up with an excuse. Joel however took a much more comforting approach. “Shhh, relax sweetheart. There are no stakes here, take your time it’s just me.” 

Looking down to the snow below your feet, you could see Joel’s own all but beside yours as if to keep you locked in place against him. Pulling back, Joel’s hands moved up to straighten your arm out. “It’s not a gun, remember? Arms straight, not locked.” 

Once again keeping his touch burning you as they slid back down to your hips. Your heart was beating harder, but you also felt Joel’s chest rising and falling in tandem with your own breathing. Maybe if it weren’t for the jacket, you could feel Joel’s doing the same. 

Taking your time to aim it up right, you felt his grip on your hips tighten before he muttered to you once more time. “C’mon baby.” 

Your heart jumping in your chest, you let go of the arrow on instinct, watching it slam into the crate with a crack as it jostled it somewhat in place. Joel pulled you into his chest close this time, purposely leaning into your neck to press a kiss there. You should feel elated, but you just shivered at his lips. 

“That’s my girl.” You tried to smother the little smile on your face but of course he saw it. You didn’t see his face full of pride, and his eyes trained entirely on you instead of accomplished target. 

“Impressed?” 

To you, it was just a joke. Not meaning much other then a tease of your lack of skill, but Joel always kept you on your toes. “With you? Always.” 

Hands sliding off of your body, one of them trailed along your lower back causing your eyes to flutter for just a second. His gentle touch still took getting used to. Watching him reach up with no effort to pull it down, he looked over to you as you yelled playfully. “How about you show me how it’s done this time, Miller?” 

Bringing out a tiny competitive streak in you was an aspect he had grown to love. Never in anything of value, but always competing with Joel for the smallest things. His eyes always eventually sliding over to something darker the further in you got. 

This time though, there was none. He just hit his target on each pull, leaving your mouth slightly parted and eyes bright with awe. His own form faced where you stood near a back wall. Brown eyes sharp, with his features turning harsh as he slipped into his focus. 

It wasn’t lost on Joel when he faced you again, the look you were giving him. A warmth flowing through your veins at how effortlessly skilled he was, continued to be at so many things at that. His mouth in what could be mistaken for a frown, you knew really held a concealed need. 

His body hovered over you, reaching around you to put his bow down as his fingers danced across your body as he pulled it back. Using them to nudge your chin up to look him in the eye, you felt your limbs itching at the need to explore over him. Your name mumbled from his lips he leaned in close, breathe hitting your cheek. “Do I get a consolation price, or do you want me to just pick it out for myself?” 

A laugh left you at how quickly he turned from a desire to grumpy. Your hands reached out to the top of his waistline, tapping across the belt buckle that you could feel under your fingertips caused his stomach to twitch at how close you moved your touch already. But then someone from around the front called your name. And Joel’s face fell to annoyance. 

Smiling genuinely at him, you reached up instead to lightly trace your thumb over his facial hair. The coarseness always scratching at your palm, riling your own insides up. “How about you think on it and let me know?” 

Pulling your chin close, Joel pressed a kiss to your lips. A surprising passion behind the force of his lips, his tongue just barley teasing you before he pressed a smaller chasate one to you. “You should get on back. I’ll handle all this.”

Your brows furrowed, your brain stirring at him cleaning up something that you made. “I can do it, it’s fine.” 

Ever the stubborn man, he just kissed your forehead before nudging you away from him to make you head out. “Go.” His voice deep and stern, you nodded before turning away and made your way back around to the platform. 

Telling yourself the whole time that you’ll get used to it. That the nerves flooding your bloodstream when he was that close, with his hands so greedily on your body would slow down eventually.

You weren’t the only one though, grappling with the very same problem. Joel was still accepting being given a chance for a life he never imagined he’d come close to having, or even wanting ever again. It forced him to stand back and reacquaint himself with emotions he’d assumed were long past what he’d get in this life. Feeling like a father again was a fight with his own trauma, but on the other side? Having you was just as much as an anomaly to him as he was to you. 

He genuinely couldn’t tell anyone the last time he had something anywhere near this. Even his realization of how he felt about you hit Joel with an intense force. Shutting himself off from that kind of feeling a long time ago. Giving up that care for closeness or intimacy just as he assumed he would never be a whole person again. So in a way, he was very much like you. Used to being alone. 

Joel knew however how different your approach to it was. You had always been out there. Traversing land that to everyone else, was a risking mission to navigate. But it was the only way you’ve known since it begun. He’s not even sure you’ve ever seen inside any zone. Preferring not to rely on strict and rigid dependency on one of those cities. But it also left you on the outside of so many people, most of the people Joel knew now. 

It was like a need that neither of you realized was missing. A person to lean on. Someone to understand the turmoil in your head and fit perfectly in the dark void of your heart that needed that support. Even if it took Joel this long to see it. To see that he wanted someone like that, well, not anyone if he was being honest. 

You stuck out to him from the start. That day he sat you sitting at a counter with a fierce gaze bracing yourself for whatever rough demeanor he walked in on may bring down on you. A burning thought in his mind that trailed back to you the longer he was around you until it led to now. Standing under the warm stream of water listening through the walls to your voice moving about the house, knowing your feet will eventually take you to here. 

His hands smoothing over his hair to let the water rush over his face. You didn’t bother calling out to him as you walked into the bedroom. The thin walls enough to let you hear one another, but Joel’s hands itched to have you in his reach. Debating on calling you to him first. It had been years since he even wanted a woman in his arms, but now it was as if his agitation only grew when you weren’t exactly there.

Your fingers tapped at the dresser, gaze locked on the light peeking through the bottom of the door with warm steam flowing out and enticing you in from the cold outside. You could just shut the door, or even walk away from this side of the house completely but your skin also begged you to at least rinse your face with a splash. 

It was foolish to assume maybe you could sneak in and out without Joels warm cadence pulling at your heart to join him. Creaking the door open quiet as possible, you stepped quietly in and shut it just as slow. It took about ten seconds to realize how stupid your assumption was. 

“We gotta work on how to be sneaky on top of your aim now?” Eyes closing, you braced your palms flat on the sink edges. Biting the inside of your cheek you wanted to resist getting caught in the trap. 

Grabbing a small cloth, you let the smallest bit of water run over part of it to not skyrocket the temperature for him. “You making fun of me for it now? I knew you were just showing off earlier.” He chuckled as you ran the rough fabric over your face, at least giving you some reprieve. “Pretty of you, Miller.” 

“Alright, I’ll give you that.” About to run the cloth over your cheek, your hands paused mid movement at what was inevitable. “How about you join me then? Let me make it up to you?” 

You suspect he heard the slight thud of your hand dropping down onto the sink, cloth laying partially in it was you avoided the shower curtain beside you and the mirror just above you. The soft inner workings of your heart warmed at just feeling him against you, but the other reckoned you weren’t going to convince him to do it in the dark. 

The lack of response went on too long, causing you to startle a tad at the sound of the curtain being pulled back just slightly. Handsome features beautifully on display as his hair was slicked back, flat against his head as opposed to the curling volume that always seemed to be perfect. Just the top of his chest was exposed as well, broad shoulder down to his strong, sculpted arm keeping the rest of him mostly covered with the curtain. 

You couldn’t help but smile, shaking your head as you looked back down. “Not much in the way of time.” Just as he opened his mouth, you turned your head back with a playful smirk and a finger pointing in his direction. “You and I both know you’re not going to just make it quick.” 

Sharing a quiet laugh together, he beamed at you with gentle eyes. Not just one with a want, but one that radiated more of a need. A softness that you knew both of you were itching deep in your bones to share. Looking at nothing around the room, you gracefully came up with a fair excuse to deny him. 

“I just- uhm...” That should do it. No more of a convincing argument that having none at all. 

Your arms had crossed around your stomach, shifting eyes sliding back to him as your name fell from his mouth. “Just for a little bit. Long enough at least to take care of you, just in here.” Joel was never pushy, but he wasn’t just thinking of taking care of you. You knew the brightness in his eyes were silently asking for you to let him just hold you. 

Fidgeting on the spot, you glanced down to where your arms covered your lower torso protectively, once again biting the inside of your cheek painfully as you exhaled shakily. “Hey,” Joel calling for you to look up once more, his brows a but more furrowed then before as his face sat more serious. “I’m not trying to beg here. Just because I’m asking doesn’t mean I’m going to force you even when you’re uncomfortable.” 

Teeth changing places to bit your lip harshly, before shaking your head. “No, I know. Just...” Once again glancing down to your torso you muttered, “Give me a minute, okay?” 

A deep hum vibrated in his chest, “Take your time, sweetheart.” 

Shower curtain closing, leaving you back in privacy. Taking everything else off was no thought. Folding everything into a neat pile off to the side, before it was just your shirt and underwear left. You caught your gaze in the mirror and turned cowardly. Flipping around you pulled off your bra from under the fabric, and sliding down your bottoms to join the rest. 

Colours flashed through your eyes as they squeezed shut, your throat forcing something choked up back down to the pit of your stomach. The blank wall in front of you did nothing to ease the anxiety, but you did it anyway. The shirt not even being given the care to add onto the stack. It landed in a light flop somewhere unknown as you swiveled to look at the curtain. 

From what you could tell, Joel stood near the shower head, so your slow pace aimed to the back where he had poked his head out. If you thought more about it you’d risk talking yourself out of it. So you gently pressed on, pulling the curtain back and stepping in. 

The sprays of water and steam were warmer then before, Joel no doubt turning up the temperature to what you preferred as he called ‘scolding’. 

Joel’s back was large and broad, sprinkles of water dripping down it as he kept his face turned from looking at you. Giving you the space to come to him. While your sigh was masked by the overpowering water, the colder touch of your hands smoothing over his back had Joel’s eyes flutter shut as his jaw clenched to keep from sighing out at the feeling. 

You needed a chance to feel comfortable around him like this, and the feeling of your gentle touch on his rougher skin tugging at his heart would only make you feel rushed to get a move on. So he stood, hands spinning the bar of soap in them instead. 

When you were a child, you had a blanket that was heavy and fuzzy. A soft weighted blanket that helped your troubled little brain to get to sleep easier. It’s feeling on your hands when you curled it into your front always brought you comfort. Tracing your fingers over Joel’s back felt just like that. 

He was the thing now that quieted that noise. And it wasn’t lost on you, that you were the same for him. Running down his sides, you hovered as they reached his waist. Taking a step forward, you rested the side of your head into his shoulder blade and pressed closer to him. 

Joel took the reigns from there. Grabbing your hands and pulling them around his middle, keeping his fingers as much with yours as he could, while he leaned his own head back. You rising your forehead up just enough to rest against each other. 

You’re heart beating enough for him to feel, but his warmth against your front lulling you a quieter state. Losing yourself in how he feels. A few minutes had passed before you unwrapped your hands, grasping the soap from him and pulling it back to you. 

Joel’s head started to turn, but you grabbed at his waist as a warning. He kept his head slightly turned to the side, but not enough to peek at you. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”

Lathering up the soap in so it foamed all over your hands, you smiled at what clearly was the sound of a pout in his tone. Resting the soap on an edge, you stood on your toes to reach his ear. “And whose taking care of you, Joel?” Not waiting for an answer, you pressed a kiss just below it and finally started to slide your hands over him. 

Every now and then you pulled back just enough to gather more soap, but you gently washed at his skin almost in a massage. Joel’s shoulders sagging as his arms braced themselves against the tiles. You leaned your chin over his shoulder, pressing another kiss to the untouched part of his jaw you could reach before gently pulling one arm closer to his front at a time. 

Joel’s eyes never looking away from your hands carefully moving over him, almost grasping his fingers just like before as you scrubbed them too. If you both didn’t feel so lost in the melancholy washing away to a serene quiet, one or both of you would have let a tease slip from the smirk on your faces as you knelt down close behind him. 

Neither of you though had that kind of energy in their veins at the moment. Joel keeping steady breaths as his eyes stayed shut, trying not to let whatever emotions bubbling up in his chest overwhelm him, where you were focused on letting the only touch he felt to be with gentle care. You could reach the front of his legs from here, treating the muscles from calf to thigh with the same massaging rub as you liked to do with his back. 

But you couldn’t reach his chest, and both of you knew that. The only way to do that for Joel was for him to face you. So once again, you hovered at his waist. “You don’t have to-” 

Instead, you kissed his jaw once more. Pressing your front against his back once more, “Turn around for me. Please.” 

You didn’t look at his face. Not yet ready to see where his eye line was looking at. Instead you focused on the task at hand. His chest broad and strong, but a softness as it goes along all the way down to his hips. You stared at his chest for a while, not even noticing the soft smile on your lips as you just traced your palms back up closer to his collarbones. 

Joel ran his hands over your hips, voice low in your ear. “You going to let me do what I called you in here, or what?” You nodded, not looking at him still but he pulled your chin up with his fingers, pressing a short kiss to you. “I’m gonna need the soap to do that, sweetheart.” 

He chuckled as you rolled your eyes, smacking the bar playfully into his open hand. Turning you by your shoulders. “Turn around for me.”

This time you had enough haze leave your head to let it slip this time. “What? No bend over to follow that up with?” 

Joel pinched your hip, muttering “Smartass,” into your ear. His own back kept the heavy stream out of your own face. Where he needed the hot water rushing over his face to drown out the loud yelling inside his head surrounding his heart with this intense feeling he didn’t want to scare you with. You needed to stay calm and open, just letting the steam clear your lungs to keep your breathing steady. 

His touch wasn’t as massaging, but thorough. Spending as much time as he could to run his hands over you as he washed you over. Joel’s hands though, were a bit more greedy. Taking the chance to grasp at your ass, a handful tight in each hand before rubbing around to your hips. 

Not turning you just yet, you felt him gather more soup and stepping so your back was pressed right up against his chest now. Both lathered up hands moving from yous shoulders to cupping your neck, pulling your head back onto his shoulder with it so he could kiss you. 

This time his lips matched his hands, greedy and teasing your mouth with his tongue while he gave the same treatment to your breasts as he did your ass. He smirked almost mischievously into your lips as he did so. 

His did though, stop his path just above where he knew made your heart pound. Your eyes straight forward now as you barley let any air move through you. Whatever your arm looked like when you had done it, your side looked worse. 

Jagged marks that you knew were once teeth had left scarring rips in the skin, and the ripples around it once cracked and bloody now sat flat but stark against your skin. The one on your arm didn’t bruise, but this had. Deep purples that had you sick to your stomach now shaded in yellows and greens as the stitches healed the wound shut for good. It still made you sick. 

But Joel, smooth his hand over it, first running back and forth before stopping, only letting his thumb do the smoothing over as your breathe hitched. His taller frame loomed over you enough to see the instant build up what could turn into tears at his touch. A large hand pulled you by the side of your head into him, pressing a kiss to your hair. Keeping you right there until he felt your body twirl its tense rigidness. 

Crouching down, he prompted you to turn to face him now. Removing his hand only to race his nose along the scars kissing whatever looked like it had been the most aggressively painful. You felt almost lightheaded, a choke rising in your chest. Giving you a kindness that you never thought would come to you for something that left you with nothing but pain and anger. Something no one had ever treated like it was just another part of your skin he wanted to adore. 

Your heart slowed, Joel pressing his forehead into the scar. Not even realizing, your hand naturally gravitated down, raking through his wet hair until you found a place to keep a gentle hold on. Nudging at it with his nose once more time, Joel looked up at you with his brown eyes shining. 

Your chest flamed and roared with turmoil, did you recognize this intensity in your heart? Was it a word that you were ready to share with the only person in your life who’d ever been told it by you, or was it all just too much in one time? Making your heart lurch in so many emotions. 

Either way you held a hand out to him. His large one encasing your smaller hand in his, the other braced on the scar without moving. Wrapping your arms around his neck only again threading your fingers through his hair, now soaking once again with water. “Thank you.” 

Little space was left between your bodies, leaving little room for Joel to find your eyes. “For what, sweet girl?” 

But you just smiled, shaking your head. “Just, for you.” 

It would be later on in the evening that Joel was inevitably called out. Food still on the table, you had stepped out onto the porch to go over a few things with Tommy who’d stopped by earlier. And who Joel had unceremoniously kicked out after having his own plate raided by his brother of all people. 

The front door was still open, but kept just enough for a small cool breeze inside, your voice muffled with Tommy’s when Joel casually looked over at Ellie. His own face fell flat at the pointed stare she was giving him. “Are you ever going to tell her, or do you want me to just do it for you?” 

Raising his eyebrows, he leaned his elbows onto the table with a squinting challenge on his face. “And what’s that exactly?” 

A childish grin grew on her face as he regretted goading her in the first place. “That you love her? That you’re deeply, madly, head over heels in love-” Her mock interrupted by a little yelp of protest as Joel pushed the side of her face away with a nudge of his palm. 

“Yeah, yeah got it. I regret asking.” Ellie wasn’t wrong, not in anyway was she wrong about that. But neither you or him were simple people. Your heads and lives filled with complexities not always easy to speak out loud. “It’s not...time.” 

Looking back at her, she huffed. Pushing food around on her plate to distract herself from the fact that she wasn’t going to keep eating until you got back. “Is it ever going to be time?” Her face wasn’t as playful as before. That yearning to all be together wasn’t carved deep into Joel’s soul alone. 

Joel pulled her as much as he could from their seats into his side. Pressing a kiss to the side of her head, the same heavy weight in his chest as the one in her. “When she’s ready.” 

The two of the had more to say, but Ellie scrambled to look as casual as possible when the shut of the front door echoed. Knowing nothing about what they talked about, you stopped in the middle of the door frame eyes narrowing at how guilty she looked. 

Joel smiled though, shaking his head to dismiss it as nothing more then goofing around. If he kept going at this rate, you’re relationships going to come full circle. Tommy or Maria spilling the beans to you for just how in love with you he was. If he wasn’t so determined to go at your own pace, he may have just given up and let them. 

Night fall blanketed fast over the sky, and the rest of the sailed by in peace. A feeling that tomorrow would be laughing at all too soon. 

You had agreed to join Joel and Tommy in the early hours the next morning. A stark chill in the air still cold enough to see your breath in, and a crispness that could sting if you were out in it too long. You were on your own, checking out some other areas while the two of them looked over the existing areas of interest. 

It was the footprints that caught your eye. Footprints in a secluded area that you know any of the people here didn’t hang around in. It looked like multiple at first but as you knelt down it was clearly one set that had been in this area for a while. No tracks led up to it, so they must have arrived either in the dead of night or just before dawn when the fresh snow fell down. 

All of them faced in the direction of town, all of them looking in the general vicinity of visible houses that you knew included Joel and Ellie’s. Your hand that had been keeping the gun strap your arm steady tightened. Your eyes scanning around you as you slowly stood up. 

Luckily for you, not enough snow had fallen yet to hide the prints so obviously trying to look conspicuous. Head towards where you knew Joel and Tommy had been in when you separated from them. If they were hiding out here, chances were they were sneaking on the outskirts for as long as possible. 

Can’t hide from someone who used to do the same thing. You traveled alone for a long time, something that required you to be watchful and stealthy. Following the weasel to their current position wouldn’t take too much effort in this weather. It was what you’d find that was the unknown. 

It was the same building that you first sat in where Joel and Tommy stopped by. The heater worked best in there, and they typically went over things inside there before the day filled up with people. “I’m gonna heat it up before you forget too.” Lucky for Joel, Ellie was more insistent about staying warm then he was. 

By the time he and Tommy arrived, Ellie was already toasty and sitting along a counter waiting to be let in on their talks. She didn’t do much for now, but Joel preferred to have her with them and listen or watch. Let her watch and she’ll give a hand when she’s ready. 

Ellie looked behind them as they walked in with a furrow in her brow, asking your name. 

Shrugging off his own weapons he laid them on the counter space beside her. “Went to go look for anything that might have shown up overnight. I’ll go look for her if she doesn’t show up soon.” He walked over to where Tommy laid out some simple blueprints for the outer security, palm resting flat on the table with the other on his hip as they made scribbles on the already marked up paper. 

Ellie narrowed her eyes at the rifles next to her and hopped down. Grabbing both she occupied herself with hanging them by their straps onto a safe part of the wall close to the back room hall. What she didn’t notice, was the click of a window lock at the end of the clearly empty hallway. 

Nothing was over there and she didn’t think anything else. Just walked back to the main room, arms crossed to hide her hands deeper into her sweater and leaned against the wall reading the spread out work on the table diligently. 

Part of Joel had to tell himself to focus more. Despite the sun barley peeking up when he woke up, it was still too late in the morning to do anything about how addictive it felt to wake up inside you. He really didn’t mean to fall asleep the entire night like that, but there was something that pinged deep in his heart to have you that close to him at both of your most venerable. 

You both had to get up and head out though, only enough time to tease you when he pulled his half hard cock from your somehow still wet pussy and leaving a few bites at your neck to pull a gasp of his name out of you before separating entirely to get dressed. He teased himself though, because now all he wanted was to find a time during the day to pull you home and throw you onto the bed like he really wanted too. 

He just wasn’t as focused as he should have been. Tommy was doing most of the talking, better at forming a plan in his head when he voiced it to his brother and so him noticing was less then likely. 

No one was even faced the right direction to see the down the hallway. It was closer to the front door then the table they stood around, so no one saw the gentle slide of the same window that clicked unlocked earlier. A single gloved hand raising it up as slow as possible to keep the sound down and moving just as slow as the figure raised up to bent over it. 

First one leg went though to straddle the frame, hovering over the floor to make sure the sound of their shoe stepping down wasn’t heard. Just as slow they ducked their head and torso inside and climbed in, not bothering to stay low as their final leg joined in. 

Their body only turned to the side enough to reach the window, and slid it down shut even more at a snails pace then to open it. Their head never turned to look at what their hands were doing. They were watching and no chance were those eyes going to go anywhere but the target. 

Joel was tied between the talks he and Tommy were discussing, and wondering how long it’d take for you to get there. Having you move in might have been a bad idea, because now Joel had the biggest excuse to be weak. Something deep in his mind wanted to just be selfish and drag you back to your bed together and keep you there because now it didn’t matter how long you he kept you there. 

His fingers scratched at the wood on the table as his eyes looked over the paper mapping out what path he’d walk to try and catch up to you. You were quiet and inquisitive, if something caught your eye you had a tendency to let it occupy your focus and forget to update anyone. It was cold this morning, and it was early and part of Joel was just feeling greedy to keep you with him today. 

No one noticed. The front of the door was lined with a map and a strip of carpet that followed the length of the counter before tapering off into the wooden floors of the main room. Any movement was quiet if the person didn’t move so quickly or suddenly. 

Facing away, the backs of Joel and Tommy were the only main vision in sight of the figure, but crouched onto the ground to keep from being clear and in sight put Ellie somewhat in their eye line. She was smaller though, astute eyes currently trained on the two men she looked up too. Without knowing anything about her, it could be assumed she was too weak or cowardly to even do anything if she looked this way. 

Joel only just so happened to glance up, asking Ellie a question. “We’ll head over there later and I can show you how to set that up, okay?” His voice was soft and genuine, but his eyebrows raised along with a darkening of his eyes at her sudden distracted face. 

Ellie was good at paying attention and her current distraction was wide eyed. Bordered on a shocked surprise and not in a good way. It was a way that had Joel’s heart lurch in his chest, and Tommy seemed to see and feel it at the same time. 

Joel and Tommy didn’t turn around right away, it felt like as they did it was in slow motion. It wasn’t even the split second they saw Ellie’s expression that caused it, it was the echo in the empty room that clicked loudly. Distinctly. 

Ellie’s hand shot out and grasped the fabric of Joel’s arm like a crutch as both men turned to the noise behind them. But it wasn’t the approaching footsteps finally reaching the wooden floor that was what they heard. 

The three of them looked to the front of the room at the unmistakable sound of a cocking shotgun, one set ready to fire at any time. Whipping around though, the figure on the ground didn’t do it. The figure on the ground wasn’t even a face they knew. 

A man stooped crouched onto the ground, with both hands just barley risen into the air in defense, never having a chance to grab at whatever he had stored in his pockets. Behind the unknown man was the source of the loading shotgun. 

Not a foot behind him, you stood with the weapon steady in your arms aimed at the back of the figure’s head. Your eyes steeled in an unblinking harshness Joel had rarely seen on you. 

The man didn’t dare move, but in a tone just above a whisper, threw out a plea. 

“I’m just here to talk..” 

If you and Joel had one thing that refused to get in the way of how you felt about each other? It was that no matter what was about to happen you and Joel knew that whatever the consequences would be? You and him were in it together no matter what. The deep yearning in Joel’s heart to tell you the true extend of the love he could barley keep hidden from you anymore would have to wait, or at least find a way to show you despite whatever was about to come of this.

You didn’t blink, nor did your readiness to fire change. The man’s eyes widened in what looked like fear as he heard your voice cut through sharply into the silence. No joke or lightness in your voice, and the familiarity of it had the already caught the man in a trap of what he had walked in on. His face showing to all three of them that he was doused in the freezing water of shock and fear, at the realization who was at the other end of the shotgun.

You only had one response for the unknown man.

“Is talking really all you’re here for, Owen?” 

[ponyosmom35]

fighting with price and ghost

Simon Ghost Riley x reader

Liability series chapter six!

summary: reader gets herself into yet another mess, Price has had enough.

warnings: cursing, angry price, blood, angry ghost, Johnny is a sweetheart

Liability masterlist:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/733401347573088256/simon-ghost-riley?source=share

Two days after her concerning dream things had been quiet. 141 had been on a mission and for a measly 48 hours she wasn’t being tortured with Ghost’s presence. Emma had been correct, there were rumors spreading amongst the other soldiers that she was sleeping with Ghost, which was why she never got in trouble for her behavior. They also speculated that Ghost was the reason she was on the base to begin with. She was fortunrate enough to overhear a couple people discussing her in the bathroom. She knew she should keep her mouth shut, but of course, she didn’t.

“Exactly why the fuck is my name in your mouth?” she asks emerging from the stall, watching as their faces contort in shock. “What did I ever do to you?”

“You seem to have a fucking halo on your head, you get away with everything! You’ve got Price, Soap, Gaz, and Ghost somehow wrapped around your finger!”

“Jesus what is with you people! In case you didn’t know, Ghost hates me! He’s been pushing to get me off of the base since I got here! Soap and Gaz are friends” she defends 

“And Price?” the girl asks 

“It must be his dick that she’s sucking” another sneers 

“Fuck you!” she says as she pushes her back

“No fuck you bitch” the brunette responds, shoving her to the ground “unlike you, we’ve had to earn our place here!” 

“Soldiers what is the meaning of this?!” a loud voice roars, they all turn their faces falling at the sight of Price standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. “Thought I heard trouble” 

The two soldiers stand up stragight and she scrambles to her feet, staring at him, waiting for his words. He was livid, angrier than she’d ever seen. “Ladies I want you to give me ten laps, once you’re finished come to my office. You, come with me now” 

The girls hurry out of the bathroom and jog outside, not without sparing her with death glares. Price nods his head to her and leads her into his office, he shuts the door behind them and pulls out the chair for her to sit in. 

“Captain-” she starts 

“Stop” he responds, holding his hand up. “Why is it that you are the center of every fucking mess on my base?”

“I don’t know sir”

“Listen kid, I’ve given you a pass, that’s more than most. I know this has been an adjustment for you, but I will not tolerate that behavior from here on out, you wil be treated and punished just as anyone else”

“I understand sir”

“I like you kid, you’re good at your job and you’re a valuable asset to us, but I can’t understand why you continuously start issues?” 

“Do you want me to be honest?” she asks crossing her arms 

“I do”

“People think that I’m here because I’m sleeping with Ghost, they all talk behind my back”

“Fucking hell, of course they’re gonna talk about you! You walk around this base like you own it, like your shit doesn’t stink and you think that you’re gonna be miss popular? This is the fucking army! You are here to do your job not make freinds! I could give a damn if every person on this base hates you! This petty bullshit has no place here. I won’t tolerate it, this is your last warning. One more incident and I’m calling Laswell, do you understand me?” Price asks, staring at her intensely. 

“Yes Sir”

“Fucking hell” he shakes his head “Ghost was injured on our mission, get out of my office and patch him up” he snaps 

“Right away sir” 

She scrambles out of his office with tears stinging in her eyes. She knew he was right, she needed to stop entertaining the bullshit. Despite his harsh words, she knew that he meant well. Maybe it was just what she’d been needing to here this whole time. It was true, she’d someone survived two instances with Ghost without punishment. All of it was catching up to her now as she tried to mentally prepare herself to deal with Ghost. If Price was in such a sour mood, she couldn’t imagine he’d be much happier. Phoebe sighs and grabs her kit from the med bay, walking over to Ghosts office. She knocks on his door gently waiting for a response. 

“What?” he snaps 

“Medical, can I come in”

“You’re not needed!” he growls through the door. She takes a deep breath and twists the knob, peaking her head in. 

“Captain Price sent me -”

“I don’t give a fuck who sent you”

She frowns at his harsh words, feeling the lump in her throat return. She swallows and moves over to his desk, setting her things on it. “Did you not hear me the first time? You are not needed!” 

“I can see that” she responds sarcastically, staring at his bleeding arm, which he was clearly in the middle of working on. “Let me help you” she says softly 

“I don’t need medical, even if I did I sure as fuck wouldn’t let you touch me!” he yells as he throws her kit on the ground, all of the contents splattering to the floor. She flinches at the sound and stares at him as she processes the situation. She was scared to move, worried that it might make it worse. 

“Fucking get out of my office” he growls 

She bends down and begins picking up her supplies, her hands shaking and making it hard for her to put her things back. She slopily throws it back inside her case, feeling the intense burn of his eyes on her, examining her every move. She stands to her feet and hurries out of the room, shutting the door behind her. She stumbles and drops her things once more. She curses herself as she bends down and picks her tools up once more. Her eyes blurring as tears fall down her face. 

“You alright lass?” 

She looks up to see Johnny walking towards her with a large wound on his face. He bends down and helps her pick up the fallen tools and offers his hand to help her stand. “Johnny what happened?”

“LT and I got cornered, no biggie” he responds nonchalantly, he places his hand on her shoulder looking at her in concern. “What’s wrong?”

“nothing” 

“Obviosuly it ain’t nothin if you’re cryin” he says before pulling her into his arms. He pats her back gently as she hugs his middle. Neither of them aware of the lieutenant’s gaze on them. Ghost clenches his hand and punches the wall. He knew he shouldn’t have treated her like that, he felt awul. She’d managed to catch him at the worst time, nothing he hated more than looking vulnerable. Now Johnny was the one to pick up the pieces. He didn’t know why it bothered him so much to watch her cling onto his sergeant. The sight made his stomach twist. Ghost stomps over to the window and shuts the curtains aggressively. He yanks his mask off and throws it against the wall, gritting his teeth as his arm throbs. 

Johnny pulls away at the loud bang and keeps an arm wrapped around her shoulder, he leads her away from the office, carrying her kit. She wipes her tears, and pulls herself together in an instant. 

“Lets get you to medical, don’t want that to get infected” she responds as she leads him to an empty bed. 

“I’ll take it that the mission didn’t go well” she comments as she washes her hands and puts gloves on. Johnny nods, impressed that she was abel to snap out of it so easily, never would he have been able to tell she was just crying if it wasn’t for her red eyes. 

“You could say that” 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she asks as she begins to clean out his wound 

“Nothing major, just got cornered. Didn’t think we were gonna make it out but Ghost saved us, even with a bullet wound to the shoulder. Probably wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for him” Johnny explains. 

“I’m glad everyone made it out”

“Yeah… listen I don’t know what Ghost said in there, but don’t take it to heart. He ain’t a bad guy, just under a lot of pressure, him and Price”

“I don’t blame him, often times the person whose trying to help is the one who takes the brunt of the anger. Something I’ve gotten used to working with soldiers” 

“We’re not all so bad” he smiles cheekily 

“We’ll see how you feel when I put this spray on your cut” she responds, earning a chuckle from him. Thankful for the man who always seemed to be able to put a smile on her face, just when she needed it. 

chapter 7:

https://www.tumblr.com/ponyosmom35/752479625563815936/apologies?source=share

[thesoftestirises]

playing with fire

♡ pairing : aemond x reader ♡ rating : 18+ - aemond says some shit that is absolutely unacceptable ♡ word count : 2.3k ♡ warnings: violence, talks of d wording and k wording, stockholm syndrome, threatening the people you love, choking, dubcon (how can someone really consent in an environment like this?) ♡ summary : To most of Westeros, you are the dangerous leader of an antimonarchist  rebellion. To Prince Aemond, you are both the bane of his existence and  the object of all his desires. ♡ an : join my taglist for this miniseries! this part can be read as a standalone, but it is a continuation of my fic raise your weapon

You awoke to a raging headache, courtesy of your kidnappers’ heavy handed methods of knocking you out.

You struggled against the twine binding your wrists and ankles uselessly and tried to keep your breathing even. Panicking would make you more useless. You couldn’t see anything through the burlap sack they had tossed over your head, but you felt the hay lined cart you were sitting in rattle. It was hard to tell what direction you were heading in, but you hoped it wasn’t the lake. You paused, furrowing your brows and listening for the sound of frogs. When you instead heard the slow beating of what could only be a dragon’s wings, you realized that you probably had better chances with the lake than where you were actually headed.

“Raynard, I understand we have had our differences, but surely there has to be a better answer than betraying us to the enemy,” you said, keeping your voice carefully neutral.

“How’d she know it was us?”

The sound of skin on skin and a soft pained noise rang out. “Shut up! Have you no sense?”

You sighed. At least everyone who was involved in this disgraceful act were people you would have expected. No surprises, other than the fact they had the gonads to go through with it. “Anthony and Samuel, you got wrapped up in this too? I thought we had no quarrel?”

“We don’t,” Samuel said, his voice quiet and unsure. “But Raynard said we could save our families and possibly the whole village if we gave you up.”

“And you believe him?”

The night air grew cold and silent. Your nose was filled with the scent of damp fabric and hay, but if you really focused and knew what you were looking for, you could smell a fire. You didn’t have long. “Men, we are on the verge of a breakthrough. A proper revolution! This isn’t about the comfort of the present, it’s for your sons and your sons’ sons-“

“Silence, witch. Your silver tongue has burned half the village to the ground and forced us to live like dogs. We’ve had enough of your revolution,” another voice, cool as steel, sharp as a knife, snapped. Raynard. “I would have sliced that throat open myself, but for some reason Prince Aemond wanted you alive.”

“Probably has some other ideas for her throat.”

You shivered in fear and revulsion as the three men cackled. You knew that the second prince, also known as the current leader of the City Watch, had a strange fascination with you ever since you first narrowly evaded his capture by using less than orthodox means. Since then, he’d developed a fixation on you, chasing you across half the seven kingdoms for the better part of two years.

At times he had gotten frighteningly close, but you had always managed to slip away before he could do more than slap a pair of cuffs on you. He had grown more agitated and aggressive with each attempt, even placing a bounty on your head for anyone who delivered you to him alive by the end of the first year. You had always expected to meet your end by his blade, but you hadn’t expected it to go down like this.

The cart halted and you scrambled to try and toss yourself off the cart, only to trip over the fabric of your skirts. A pair of hands caught you and tossed your body over their shoulder. You grunted and attempted to beat them with your bound hands, but there was only so much you could do.

“Let go of me!” You shouted. “Put me down, Raynard! You’ll regret this!”

“I doubt he will, little fox. He’s about to receive wealth beyond his wildest dreams.”

You froze, immediately tense. You would know that too-melodic, overly saccharine voice anywhere. It haunted you in your dreams and rang out in your ears when you were all alone.

“Set her down,” Prince Aemond commanded.

Whoever was holding you unceremoniously dropped you on the ground and ripped the sack off your face. You winced at the light flooding your eyes and looked around. There were dozens of neat rows of tents in front of you and behind you, but only three people stood before you. Two of them seemed to be unremarkable foot soldiers, but the figure in the center was anything but.

Standing before you, Prince Aemond cut quite the image of a conqueror. Tall, pale, and hauntingly handsome. It appeared he had seen this moment fit to bring out his traditional Targaryen armor. Under the silver glow of the autumn moon, both his hair and armor seemed to shine. He had chosen to leave his eyepatch off for added effect, you assumed, as his false sapphire eye twinkled at you.

“Prince Aemond Targaryen,” you said as you set your mouth into an irritated frown. No one could know how scared you actually were. You couldn’t give them that kind of satisfaction. The last thing you wanted was for rumors to spread of you sniveling like a coward when you came to meet your death. That would only ensure your cause died with you. “To what do I owe the misfortune?”

His lips curved upwards in a wolfish smile. “I told you I’d get you eventually, did I not?”

“Well, I’d hardly say you got me. You paid someone else off.”

“Incredible. You’re at my mercy and you have the audacity to talk back like you’ve got the upper hand.” He laughed in disbelief and shook his head. “Though I suppose that’s all you have. Nerve and a way with words. It’s remarkable how long you’ve managed to elude me, Miss Y/N.”

“It’s not that remarkable when you consider how you lot all have sawdust for brains. They must knock all the sense out of you during training.”

“Any one of my men would have more sense than you and your entire crew combined. You’ve gotten by on sheer dumb luck.”

“We’ve gotten by on divine providence,” you said, tilting your head upwards in a purposefully arrogant fashion. You could see the patience in Prince Aemond’s gaze beginning to wear thin. Good. At least you could die doing what you loved, making the rich and powerful angry.

“And that’s why you’re kneeling before me now?” He asked, raising a single brow.

“I’m kneeling before you now because these three men have as much honor as you do and do not understand that there has always been a price to pay for freedom. But my cause won’t die with me, your highness. The people are tired of the tyranny of the crown. Why should they have to give up their lives for your privileged and petty squabbles? What sense is there in us working if half of what we produce goes to people who have never lifted a finger in their lives?” You insisted, giving Aemond an earnest look.

Prince Aemond furrowed his brows and slowly stepped closer to you. You watched as the shadows moved over his face, darkening his eyelashes and sharpening his cheekbones. You swallowed and winced as he crouched in front of you, roughly pulling your chin into his ice cold fingertips. His gaze slowly crossed over every inch of your face, examining you as if you were a battlefield to be surveyed and not a person.

“You fascinate me,” he said, his voice quiet as his eye locked back on yours. “You’re not particularly beautiful, you have no formal education, and you don’t have a cent to your name. Why does anyone follow you?”

“You should ask yourself that. You’ve been chasing me too, haven’t you? Still upset about our first meeting?”

“That was a regrettable moment of weakness on my part, which will never happen again,” he said firmly. He moved his hand to your cheek, stroking his knuckles over your skin. You gave him a wary look but held your tongue. Prince Aemond and all these men wanted to exert power over you. You couldn’t let them have it. “But I have you now.”

“Is it all you’ve been dreaming of, my prince?”

“Close, but not quite,” he said, that sharp grin returning to his face. You cringed and curled in on yourself as he let go of your face to drag you up by your wrists. “Escort these men to Ser Cole so they can receive their payment. I’ll be getting our slippery little friend acquainted with her new living quarters.”

Prince Aemond didn’t wait for a response, picking you up by your waist and slinging you over his shoulder. You were tired of being carried around like a sack of potatoes but didn’t protest. It would just be a waste of your energy. You watched as the prince’s men led Raynard away, Anthony and Samuel continuously looking back at you. You smiled to yourself. At least your legacy was secured.

Prince Aemond halted in front of a large tent, carefully moving the opening so the canvas didn’t hit you as he brought you inside and set you down on an uncomfortable wooden stool. You noted the expensive trinkets and the tables stacked with toy soldiers and parchment paper. It was obvious who owned the tent and what its purpose was, but the only question was why you were there. Did Aemond like to keep his prisoners where he could watch them the night before executing them? You stiffened and turned your gaze over to your side where the prince had begun stripping off his armor.

“I suppose you’d like to know what I plan to do with you,” he said, tossing his vambraces onto the table.

You remained silent, eyeing him warily. It was obvious what he was to do with you. Did it truly need to be spoken?

But then, he surprised you.

“I won’t be executing you.”

“What?”

Aemond chuckled, loosening the buckles around the shoulder pieces of his armor. “I have no intentions of making you a martyr. I will destroy you and your rebellion, and you will be alive to watch.”

“And how do you intend to do that?” You asked. “It is too late. The people sing of freedom. Holding me prisoner will change nothing.”

“That is true. Holding you prisoner would do as much for me as killing you would. But their tune will change once you are discredited and you become what they hate most,” Aemond said, taking a small pause before continuing. “Royalty.”

“No,” you said, furrowing your brows and shaking your head. “That is not possible. You cannot do that-“

“I can, my little fox. The king has agreed to it already. The ceremony will be in ten days time. A little rushed, perhaps, but rest assured, our wedding will be opulent and spoken about for years to come.”

“Is this not also punishment for you?” You tried, sweetening your voice and taking on a tone of false concern. “I mean, certainly there are more advantageous matches with prettier maidens.”

“Punishment? It was my idea,” he said, leaning forward and cupping your jaws with his cold, delicate fingers. “Can I tell you a secret? I’ve been dreaming of you since the day we first met. That day you kissed me, stole my sword, and ran away from me. I remember it vividly. I stroke my cock to it nightly.”

“You’re insane-“

“Every day and every night, I reminisced about the feeling of your soft lips, your supple skin, the lavender scent in your hair. I contemplated what I would do with you when you were finally caught. I thought about how I would cut your clothes off your body. How you would look when you were as bare before me as you were on your nameday. I admit I was a man obsessed,” You shivered as Aemond fingers wandered from your jaw to your throat, lightly brushing over the pulsing veins there. “I allowed my mind to wander.”

“So that’s it, then?” You spat, your mouth set in a disgusted grimace. “You intend to defile me? All this chase was for the purpose of you wetting your cock in the most unwilling person you could find?”

At that, Aemond’s lips curled upwards and a small huff of laughter escaped. “No, I am not my brother. That would only be too easy and would provide little pleasure.”

“Then? How do you intend to bed me if not by force?”

“You will give yourself to me,” Aemond answered, his voice soft and his tone matter of fact. “Willingly.”

Your jaw dropped. “Are you mad? Why in the seven hells would I do that?”

“You’ll see.”

“I’ll be seeing about as much as that sapphire eye of yours.”

At that, Aemond pressed down on the sides of your neck, effectively cutting off your blood flow. You gasped and stood from the stool, wrapping your hand around his wrist and struggling fruitlessly to pull him away as your vision began to blur and your mind became hazier. He dragged you ever closer to him, until you were practically able to feel his chest rising and falling with each breath.

“I won’t force you to preform your marital duties, but that doesn’t mean I will tolerate disrespect, sweetling,” Aemond said, his words practically spoken against your lips. “I can and will destroy you.”

Despite yourself, you let a laugh slip past your teeth. “You may dishonor me and defile me, but you will never destroy me.”

Aemond’s sole pale blue eye twinkled. “I do look forward to the challenge.”