#I honestly really need to write a story like this cause I guess it'll just feel grounding in a way?

[sm-writes-chaos]

sigh..it's new idea time. A story about disaster gays with a lot of second hand embarrassment which I've honestly been dying to write to get out of my comfort zone.

It's a start and only has a little bit down

--

Me and my crush are both gay! …In the wrong direction.  I thought I had a crush on him but it turns out he was just a shield for me to hide behind whenever my real crush Tiffany walked past. It was the same for him whenever David was around. The real problem? Tiffany and David were together.  And they made it clear they were serious, kissing in the halls and rubbing each other’s backs. I almost throw up every time. But me and my best-friend-not-crush Jeremy can’t let go of our feelings, so we’ve devised a plan. Get them to break up and fall in love with us, easy! Only, if I’d known that the most embarrassing year of my life would end up being this year, I would’ve just dated Jeremy.

I threw my backpack down and sat on the lunch table with a huff. I crossed my arms on the table and laid my head down. 

“Tiffany?” Jeremy said in an all too knowing voice.

I muttered out a sound of confirmation. I lifted my head and threw my arms in the air.

“How is she so perfect?! Today I left yesterday’s homework at home and- and you know what she did? She’d made a copy, Jeremy. She makes copies of all the homework in case she loses them!” I looked at him with wild eyes. He nodded and smiled with a little laugh.

“Can she get any more perfect? It might be annoying if not for your crush on her.”

“Hey are you saying if I wasn’t in love with her you’d dislike her?” I raised my eyebrow but I was clearly joking.

“Well, yeah. If you like her then she must be a good person.”

I smirked in victory. I looked down at the table and only saw one lunch tray. 

“Did you not get one for me? I said I was going to be late from band.”

“Oh no this is yours.” He slid it over to me. The only thing looking slightly appetizing being the apple.

I picked up a spoon from the tray and stared at him suspiciously.

“You’re not hungry?”

“No no..I’m fine.”

I picked up the apple and shoved it into his chest.

“Take it.”

“Uh thanks.” He wheezed and took a hesitant bite. I tried to swallow down the lumpy potatoes and focus back on what I was saying earlier.

I twirled my spoon in the air while chewing thoughtfully. 

“So Jeremy,” I said with a taunting voice, he smiled knowing what I was going to say.

“How’s it going with David?” I raised my eyebrows.

He looked around the room rapidly, glancing at David sitting at a table far from ours.

“He’s good.” Jeremy stared for a second longer before meeting my eyes again.

I groaned a little, “I mean how’s it going with both of you. Like together.”

He frowned a little, “I tried to sit next to him when we went to Gerald’s pizza shop after the game, but his friends did before I could.”

“Oh Jeremy, Jeremy.” I shook my head disappointed. “You’ve got to stop hesitating! I know you just stood there while the chance was wide open!”

“I know, but I was still all sweaty from the game and stuff.”

“So was he dumbass!”

Jeremy frowned at me, he knew he was just making excuses. 

“You’re no person to talk to me about hesitating. Yesterday you had to talk to Tiffany about the project but you just stared at your paper for ten minutes.”

I slapped my forehead remembering. 

“And she tapped my shoulder with her perfect nails and told me which part of the project to do. Though I kinda wasn’t paying attention because I was staring at her hair..”

“Willow!” He scolded, this was new information to him. 

I tried to laugh it off and stuffed my mouth with more lumpy potatoes.

Jeremy put the apple down halfway eaten. 

“If we keep going on like this we’re never going to get happily ever after.” His little sister had been watching more Disney movies recently and since then he’d been comparing our disaster crushes to fairy tales.

“Happily ever afters are for straight rich princesses. We were doomed from the start. The first to be killed in a horror movie.”

Jeremy thought for a moment. 

“We just need a plan.”

“Like what?” I scoffed. 

“Operation Get Our Crushes To Fall in Love With Us.” He stated it as a genius plan like he had it all sorted out already.

I perked a little and paused, “it’s gonna need a shorter name.” I smiled, I was always up for a good plan. 

RING!

Jeremy and I scrambled up and rapidly said some final words to each other. 

“After school-“

“The bleachers-“

“Operation Get-“

“Okay we seriously need to shorten it.”

“Fine, bye!”

“See ya later!”

We said our goodbye and rushed to our next classes. They were on the opposite ends of the school so we couldn’t converse in the halls, but my mind was already racing with ideas.

I hadn’t thought of it before, but looking at it from this angle my sophomore year might not suck after all. I may even avoid the sophomore slump all together! I nearly skipped and hummed my way to my next class, even though it was with Mrs. Dodderson. A frustrating teacher who made us memorize so many dates it felt more like math than history class. She always paired me up with Jessie, somehow hoping that the more we were near each other the sooner we’d get along. But that just gave her more opportunities to torment me. We could have a whole lesson in class on our history. 

Last year she threw a party, and while I was miraculously invited, I didn’t know she’d literally be throwing a party cake all over my shirt. It was totally on purpose too. I saw her friend sticking their fingers in her mouth. 

And the year before that she played my audition tapes over the P.A system, I was known as ‘Voice Crack Victoria’ for months. Some people still think my name is Victoria. Last month though, she went too far. She switched my history test out for one written in crayon! It was a total disgrace and brought my grade down to a C. My parents and Mrs. Dodderson said I was making a mockery of the school, and I had to take the test again. History class was more like ‘Glare at Jessie' class, and my grade is based on if I glare hard enough that she doesn’t bother me for the whole class period. The longer she leaves me alone the better my score, and notes for class. Without her bothering me I could be passing that class with flying colors, instead I barely scrape by with a B. Not an acceptable grade in my book. 

I reached the door that, while it was identical to the rest, seemed more intimidating and unfriendly. I tried to open the door as casually as possible and walk in while not being too aware of my body movements. Holding my breath I managed to sit in my chair while looking semi normal and not making eye contact with anyone. 

I thought I heard a scoff behind me but forced myself to continue looking straight ahead. I got my notebook out and laid it on my desk, awaiting the lesson to start.

“Look who’s so excited for class! Like a little note taking puppy.”

Jessie. Her voice crawled up my back and into my ear, planting her judgments in my brain and sticking like glue.

Her friends laughed a little and said something I thankfully couldn’t hear. Though it was almost worse than knowing.

--

aand that's all folks, back to a 'will I won't I write the rest' situation

[celticwolf55]

It's really cool when writers have playlists for their fics cause then you see what fits woth the story and all. Fake it till you make it is the first of your fics I read and it's one of my favorites so it's nice to see that playlist.

I've never heard reckless driving before but it's really good. Like "guess I'd die to keep your eyes on me"? For wenclair? Breathtaking honestly. I've only heard one other song by this artist and theyre making me a fan of hers. The song is Hate to be lame in case you're interested.

And epic omg I first heard about it late 2021/early 2022 and I've been obsessed since. I've waited so long that I'm kinda sad it'll be over soon. Just a man is one of the best songs from epic. All the edits to it are so good they hurt. Ruthlessness has to be my favorite though cause that's where it finally hits them how screwed they are.

I'm left without a choice and without a doubt

Guess the pack of wolves is swimming with the shark now

I've gotta make you bleed, I need to see you drown

And

You are far too nice, mercy has a price

It's the final crack, we're bound to break the ice now

You reveal your name, then you let him live

Unlike you, I've got no mercy left to give 'cause

Ruthlessness is mercy upon ourselves

These lyrics are golden. Different beast is up there for me too. Do you have a favorite song or saga?

I know it's a lot, my bad, but in my defense wenclair and epic are my hyperfixations and together is even better.

I feel that having a playlist, even if I don't always listen to it when I'm writing, it really helps get me into the headspace of the story. Fake it is the first popular fic that people have read of mine, which is totally fair since my earlier stuff wasn't that great. And I'm glad that you enjoyed the playlist I put together for it.

Reckless driving was something I literally listened to on repeat for MONTHS because it was what gave the good creative juices for writing, and the beat was great as well when the lyrics just faded into the background in my braid. The lyrics also hit really hard too, so I totally get your reaction to them. I haven't heard the song you're talking about, but Ceilings was also a song I listened to on repeat for a similar reason.

Now to Epic. I found it mid to late last year I think. Back when the Cyclops saga was the most recent one out. All of the edits and animatics were so incredible as well, adding different things to the songs and elevating them in different ways too. Ruthless is an incredible song too. It's the first time that Odysseus has some really harsh consequences and it hardens him in general (apart from Polities' death). And yeah, you get to feel how badly he's messed up too. I also remember how incredible the goosebumps were when that scrapped song was going around 'Get in the water'. It was so intense.

You're totally fine. I like your enthusiasm. I just spent several hours making a video of about 3 years worth of artworks I've done for Wenclair to my recent stuff. Hopefully I get inspired into making more artworks to hopefully finish the song I have behind it.

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Hello

I know I haven't been on here actively for a hot minute

Came to the realisation my twin probably won't ever come back, havin cracked rose tinted glasses for their partner. I can't control or knock some sense into ‘em to change their mind and dumb the trash out.

Seasonal depression is a bitch, on top of all of this is my late bro-bro/roommate (my twins ex) death anniversary next Thursday and his birthday bein yesterday (he would've been 27).

I feel more and more depressed and suicidal as the days past. It's just gettin worse and I just refuse to take pills to help with it, cause I personally don't trust myself with pills at all.

When I went to the psych ward (to, plot twist: tryin to kill myself), I was asked why I don't take any; I looked at ‘em and said, “If you give me pills, I'll down those pills like they're candy, cause I'm tired of this.” They quickly understood that. Along with lettin me leave even though I said I don't feel safe by myself but weren't goin to force me to stay. I wanted to stay but I know my old boss from my last job would definitely fire me cause he was a fuckin asshole.

I do need the help, but I literally can't afford to get it without losin my income and becomin homeless again like I was two years ago. I don't ever want to go through that, especially when it's winter and fuckin cold out there and havin a weak immune system from havin a missin spleen DOESN'T help with this situation. That's a great way to die.

I want to die on my own terms and not against my will

But if this happens, it happens and I'll accept that. I'm tired of all of this.

I miss my twin

I miss bein financially stable and not struggle this badly. I owe Mum +400$ cause of how many times she's saved my ass from facin eviction and bein homeless.

I don't know where I'm goin with this. Guess just typin what comes to mind on how I feel.

I appreciate the ones who've sent me asks and checkin up on me and how much twin and I are. It really does help me mentally knowin there's a few people here who cares to check up on me 💜

I'll try to post when I can. I do have ~130 posts in my drafts for when I get the time to. I know you guys want more stories and headcanons, it'll take me a bit to get motivation, inspiration and time to write ‘em. It's honestly a little hard to be original and not accidently copy off someone else's headcanons or story ideas.

Glad that my posts have been gettin love even as I type this and more followers from just my incorrect quotes or comic strip posts, really does give me a smile to see this blog is still alive.

Even though I'm not active at the moment, I can still answer asks to chat bout DC/Jason Todd and headcanons or requests for what I should write.

[ovaryacted]

Awwwe nic, I just saw your rant. I'm so sorry you're going through a rough patch. People truly underestimate how time consuming a nine to five job is. We want you to know that you shouldn't feel any pressure from our side, we'll read whatever you write and whenever you write, even when we have to wait for it. Don't overwork yourself because that'll help no one. Now I do understand all the frustration and dread you're feeling if you want to write but just can't. Trust me, I've been there. I am there. With college and me being a procrastinating little piece of shit, I haven't written anything in ages, even though writing is my truest passion and I wish I could be an author some day. The dread felt when you're stopped from doing things you want to do over an extended period of time is so valid. Now, this little ask of mine can't magically make you a few more hours to spare nor can it make your job any easier, but I hope you at least feel heard. Take your time, write when you have time for it. Even five minutes, just put something in that word document - that's better than nothing. You'll continue later. It'll help with the feeling of depression to at least type something, even if it's just one paragraph. And when it comes to feeling like it's a waste of time, I don't think there's a writer in the world ho hasn't felt that at some point. We see you, and we know how much hard work you put in to give us those yummy fics. Know that your following is standing right behind you and we'll eat up whatever you put out there. As someone who's been writing since I learned how to hold a pencil, I can tell you that the feeling sadly never truly goes away. But it comes less often and becomes easier to deal with. And, If you really need something to keep you going, know that hundreds, if not thousands of people would be really sad to see you go if you decided to give up on the blog. I don't know how much this helped, or even if it helped at all, but the point of the story is that we're here for you, no matter what. Love you pookie, take care!❤️❤️❤️

-🌑

This ask made me emotional in the morning, and I’ve been reading it over and over the past few days. I’ll admit, I’ve been in a rough patch for like a month, I genuinely forget how my mental health can get around January-February, which are relatively rough months for me in general because that’s when my depression spikes the most. I guess it’s a combination of the pre-birthday blues and the existential dread of getting older lmao, but idk it’s always a stressful time for me and it’s been that way since I was 16. My home life is also not the best right now, which just stresses me out more cause now I’m stressed at work and at home thanks to my inconsiderate family. (Eldest daughter things feel me?)

Honestly, I’m really thankful I have a 9-5 job and a good one at that, it gives me financial stability I’ve never had before. It’s also a job I prayed for, in the field I studied and with reputable nice people. I got very lucky, especially with the current economy in the US dealing with hyperinflation and how hard it is to get a job right now I’m very grateful. But it is a busy job, I mean I work with people who are essentially government agents and have ties to the FBI so I have pressure to do well at work. I did underestimate the amount of time I’ll have for myself working a full time job, especially after coming from a shitty part time job I had more time to do things throughout the week. I feel like I took all that free time for granted, and at least when I was in college I had several days off, now I only have like 5-6 hrs after work plus the weekend to myself and the cycle gets exhausting at some point. Usually when I come home, I have the mentality and the creativity to want to write, but lack the energy. Literally the moment I rest on my bed, I just put on Netflix and doze off, or won’t have enough brain power to make cohesive ideas so I end up hating what I write or starting over (which has happened so far). So I have the weekend to relax and write, but now I have to start studying for a big legal exam later on in the year which is my ticket to law school for 2025. I just have a lot going on right now and to prep for (adulthood I guess).

Believe me, I’m trying, and I want to create, I’ve been writing since I was 12 so this is a hobby and a skill I want to build up. I’ve been taking some time out every day to just write stuff out, and so far it’s worked. And with asks, I use the morning and my lunch break to prepare responses and edit them at home to post when I have time. I just want to upload multiple things at a time, and then I get indecisive about what to start, and end up posting nothing lmao. Plus with all the bs going on in the tags and the fandom in general, it’s annoying the hell out of me cause it’s just constant drama. But I appreciate your kind words honey, I always do, they’re encouraging and make me feel better. Adore you, I hope you’re having a good day though and taking care of yourself. ❤️‍🩹

[mikavlcs]

Here's part 2 of my comment.

Okay now I am ready to throw hands with Wednesday. She would 100% beat my ass but she deserves it for hurting R and being so complicated.

Bitch seriously?? You wish to know what upset her? IT'S YOU YOU IDIOT. You going to the dance with Tyler after ignoring R! Wednesday can be very very dumb. And frustrating. Yet we still love her. But only if she fixes her mistakes!

Ugh, Xavier. Go away. No one likes you.

Omg, Thing with a bow tie!! How adorable is that!?

Lol, Thing please trip people! That really is hilarious. I love Wednesdays kind of humor. Her and I definitely share that.

Oh NOW you realize you made a mistake?? Wednesday girl, I guess it's better late than never but come on. You're way smarter than this.

Eliminating a problem?? Giiiirl R is not a problem! If you can't handle your feelings then get a grip and learn how to deal with them. Wednesday has to qualms with hurting people and in general she's just a very self serving person, which we all know and love, but sooner or later she will realize that her egotistical actions have negative consequences. It's totally understandable that Wednesday has problems with dealing with her emotions cause she doesn't really have any experience in that matter. Sje is in general a very logic and straightforward person. Obviously it's frustrating to see how she is handling everything but honestly it's so spot on for Wednesday and she just needs the time to realize completely what she is feeling and how her actions are affecting others around her. It's a learning process for her that is just like canon with Enid and her moving out.

Ha, Thing is having the time of his life. I love to see it!

Tyler shut up already. You're incredibly stupid if you think Wednesday is even remotely interested in spending time with you. What an idiot.

Go Wednesday, now is your chance! Go after R!

HA TAKE THAT FUCK FACE! Wednesday didn't even let him finish talking 😂

Oh my heart. All this time R thought it was her fault, that she isn't worth it anymore. How sad is that. Wednesday, the fight is back on. I will beat your ass for hurting R like this!

Wednesday it's your turn now to reach out and mend Rs broken heart. Go on!

Finally! Wednesday admitted her feelings.

Aww, look at Wednesday initiating physical contact and her first form of cuddling. Very endearing!

Phew, what a wild ride that was. I went from hating Wednesday, to sympathizing with her and understanding her, to being angry again and now back to loving her.

Your writing really is incredibly, I especially love how you incorporate these metaphors so flawlessly and through that make your stories so vivid and beautiful. Not to mention how well you capture Wednesdays complicated characterization. It really is so spot on and true to the show!

That may even be one of my favorite stories of yours!

gonna put this under a cut again because it'll probably be kinda long<3

Okay now I am ready to throw hands with Wednesday. She would 100% beat my ass but she deserves it for hurting R and being so complicated.

so true tbh

Ugh, Xavier. Go away. No one likes you.

exactly!!! this energy >>>

Omg, Thing with a bow tie!! How adorable is that!?

right??? idk if that actually happened in the show (i will be rewatching soon) but if it didn't, it absolutely should have 🤚‼️

Eliminating a problem?? Giiiirl R is not a problem! If you can't handle your feelings then get a grip and learn how to deal with them. Wednesday has to qualms with hurting people and in general she's just a very self serving person, which we all know and love, but sooner or later she will realize that her egotistical actions have negative consequences. It's totally understandable that Wednesday has problems with dealing with her emotions cause she doesn't really have any experience in that matter. Sje is in general a very logic and straightforward person. Obviously it's frustrating to see how she is handling everything but honestly it's so spot on for Wednesday and she just needs the time to realize completely what she is feeling and how her actions are affecting others around her. It's a learning process for her that is just like canon with Enid and her moving out.

yeah this is what i was talking about. she really has to be bonked on the head with consequences to realize what she did wrong and why it was wrong. which i wanted to communicate some here.

like morticia was 100% spot on when she said that wednesday was, in a lot of ways, her own biggest enemy (at least when it comes to this stuff). her being so set in her ways would have catastrophic consequences at some point, like when enid moved out in episode 6 (or 7?...)

(i was tempted to make this one have an unhappy ending as well but...getting through 8k words just have an unhappy ending for this story would've been unsatisfying for both me and you guys lol)

HA TAKE THAT FUCK FACE! Wednesday didn't even let him finish talking 😂

honestly, this only happened because i was making an effort to keep it more gender neutral, but it was also just really funny

Aww, look at Wednesday initiating physical contact and her first form of cuddling. Very endearing!

hope it wasn't disappointing lol. like this one of my more slow-paced stories because i was trying to keep her at least kinda in character but at the same time...over 13k words combined for just that is a little funny. hope it was still enjoyable<3

Your writing really is incredibly, I especially love how you incorporate these metaphors so flawlessly and through that make your stories so vivid and beautiful. Not to mention how well you capture Wednesdays complicated characterization. It really is so spot on and true to the show!

That may even be one of my favorite stories of yours!

SJKHFDSJ thank youuu<33 i actually tried a bit harder with the metaphors here (especially the overarching one) so as long as they make sense, that's what matters!

and i'm happy wednesday mostly feels in character here. trying to write her well while also balancing the romance aspect is always a bit of a challenge. and looking at the length...there was obviously a lot to cover, so i'm glad it worked and i'm really happy that you enjoyed it 💞

this is definitely one of my favorite stories of the ones i've written but, i also don't particularly like most of the ones i've written so idk how much my opinion really matters lol-

these messages made my afternoon. work is boring the hell out of me so getting to take a few minutes to reply to these was really fun<3 thank you so much 😭

[jack-bytez-genuine-corner]

Dear Tumblr diary

I'm still scared of sleep and it's a hard act to do. My brother bullying me my entire childhood sadly still sticks with me I guess.

Brain fog sucks. I sometimes lose track of time and it's absolutely terrifying. I'm trying to adapt in my own way but the next time I see a doctor I guess I'll see if there's anything that can help. I don't like the realization of me missing time. I'm being a bit overdramatic as it only happens for short bursts but it's just awful as it is never consistent in how bad it is.

I don't understand why I write these as I don't even know if I want a response. I guess it's calming to send my thoughts into the empty void that is the Internet.

I wrote a letter to myself while delirious from sleep deprivation on how I can make a tech fairy outfit for cons and for fun. I don't remember what is in the letter I wrote two+ hours ago. I hope I was nice to myself in it, I think I was. If the outfit turns out bad or good I'll be happy, I deserve to fail or succeed at sewing, a thing I used to do as a wee lad. It'll be fun, period.

I cried a lot thinking about games that sincerely changed my life today: The World Ends with You when I was a depressed teen that helped me relearn how to like other people and even be vulnerable with them. That game helped me to expand my world, appreciate others even if I don't know them or share any similarities with them and that the world truthfully does end with you. Then Hi-Fi Rush now which honestly helped me realize that it's ok to be a loser with low / no prospects or accomplishments, because living your best life and struggling towards a dream, any dream is important. If I get a tattoo I'm getting Mr Mew and 808 cause simply remembering those games makes me all emotional. I need to not feel like a failure just cause I'm still in college at 25 years old and still a loser, cause I have people who care about me, I have a lot of the world to learn from and listen to their noise, I can still let people in. Basically it's ok to be a loser and to fail.

I helped some med students get ready to draw blood today. My husband is going there as well, but he got all his arm pokes in so I was just there to make sure others got theirs in as well. I talked to a lot of them but I don't think people feel that comfortable when I'm so honest and forward with stating what I'm feeling. I used to use a mask for every social interaction, but now I try my hardest with everyone to make sure I'm being authentic, so I'll just flat out state that I'm grateful for talking to them, that I'm excited for them, that this or that thing of them is brave, that their clothing or mannerisms are cool. I try as hard as possible to be so overtly kind cause I don't want to "Fake" it anymore, I just want to be that way. To me, I know I mean it, but I worry if I'm coming off as not genuine. I don't need them to say "Oh thank you for being you" but I just don't want to be seen by others as a loser even if my outlook of myself is that. Side note but I'm extremely thankful for the students bringing home cooked, authentic food to the potluck as a thank you for friends and family getting poked. Some of it is clearly home recipes passed down in different cultures. I'm only regretting the fact I didn't question them for a history lesson on the food they made as I really want to know the story behind the food.

I do that online too and I don't know if people like it or get it. When I got that art commissioned I went out of my way to tell the artist repetitively how much it meant to be, and how pretty their art is, and I meant it 100%. They deserve to know that info and l, btw, think the model is practically perfect and I've never been so happy to see something that I could only describe in my brain be real. I need to change my profile pic on here and the blog title, but it feels different or wrong to do that at this moment. Similarly if I reblog your art with those types of compliments, please know I mean it. I don't want to lie and I want to be an honest man, and every single person deserves kindness and honesty from strangers.

I hate that US society is so dehumanizing and selfish centric. We ignore other cultures to an extreme, are extremely paranoid and it's always about me - me - me, but never we. I really wish I got to live in a society that's more level headed, a little more kind, and a little more stable. I often have to fight myself because of this: When I get real disillusioned at the state of things and can't see the good in people I just revert to edgy, suicidal teen me that views everyone and everything as a falsehood and a threat. Person walking their dog down the street? Will actually kill you for fun. Happy couple? Complete lie, happiness isn't real. That "Me" wasn't healthy and still isn't, but when I see how the US treats minorities , treats the poor it just kills my want to live and experience life. It's like I just want to become a hermit who experiences nothing. Thank goodness I was fortunate enough to be in a position for therapy, because I don't want that to be my outlook: I want to live in a world with hope and I want to believe good things will happen because I think they can and will, it just sadly takes time. That disillusionment has been happening more recently, but I try real hard to make sure I remember that good things can still happen and that I can be good for the people in my community, I can be their hope like they are mine. The strength of Trans people, Black people, Natives, women, progressives, etc, is awe inspiring to me and they're what gives me hope that things can be better. And if anyone not in the US is reading, you also give me hope, cause I can always look elsewhere and see good people doing good things just to do so.

I finished my classes this semester, my Python programming class I got over 100%. I should feel really accomplished but I just don't feel that. I love programming, don't get me wrong, but I still hit a roadblock daily on allowing myself to feel good about myself. I just remember things I've said to random strangers online or things I've done in person and I put myself at below where I would situate others: I can forgive people for those things, but I can't forgive myself. Maybe it's trauma from my bro, maybe it's my illogical brain, but I really should try to take pride and joy in doing good at things. If others deserve that, don't I as well?

This post keeps getting longer but I just have more of my guts to spill I guess. I really dislike the feeling that the body I always wanted is pretty much permanently out of reach and was never in reach to begin with. It's dysphoria but I'll never be a thin shouldered Twink and that's ok. I like my beard, I don't mind balding at 25, i think my wide shoulders and heavy weight are tactical advantages. Still, I hate being 250~ pounds permanently. My weight hasn't changed for such a long time and my build has always been the same. It doesn't matter what diet I try or what years long lifestyle changes I make, shedding down the pounds might as well be impossible. Other than my fibromyalgia and post COVID brain fog I'm healthy as an ox so I'm very grateful for that. I'm also thankful for that doctor and therapist who aided me with my eating disorder crap, without them I might be dead and that's no good. Maybe that's why I'm a furry? Who knows.

The other day I got to call a beekeeper to come and save a swarm of bees. It's was very exciting and I got to learn a lot about the process as I saw her vacuum up the whole swarm. A junior beekeper tagged along and brought her kid. The daughters name started with a T, she has her 13th birthday and she was having trouble with her Spanish teacher who is really busy business focused, likes gymnastics and her favorite insect is the honey bee with her least favorite insect being the killer bee. I talked to her and hopefully helped her to not take out her frustrations with her teacher on the idea of learning / speaking Spanish. From what I gathered I think she understood it. To me, language is extremely precious and unique, with any and every single one being worthy of preservation and respect so I'm glad it seems like she won't let one stern teacher stop her from learning Spanish. I am very grateful I got to see a kid be very excited about bees. Side note but if my situation was better / more stable I'd love to adopt, it's a travesty that many kids just get tossed around the foster system and don't get a loving home. And if I do adopt, I really won't be picky as all kids deserve a loving home. If we adopt a Black kid or Native kid I'll have to figure out how to make sure they aren't denied that cultural heritage as those are extremely important things, and perhaps the right answer is not too cause I'm not a white savior so to speak? It's honestly a complex moral question to me.

I feel at odds with my close friend group. In my eyes, their family and come first but I think I'm viewed more as an afterthought. Regardless of that I still need to remember to send them love. When it isn't 3 in the morning I'll make sure to send them a nice message on discord as they deserve it. Is a cat meme too cliche?

My cat is a little space heater, and even though he annoys the crap out of me he cares for me to such an extreme degree that I should always remember him for being there to watch my back, to comfort me when I cry like a baby, and the fact that he basically discusses things with me.

I still don't understand blogging but I don't think I want too. Similarly I don't understand mutuals but I'm glad people have them on here. Closing message is to remember to be kind to yourselves, that you don't need a reason to live past being alive, and that you have value innately. You matter.

(Why did I even write this for an hour?)

[morningstargirl666]

alicia, my beloved! would you do me a great favour and answer some of these?

🤡🛒🌌🎶🙋‍♀️💖🤗🧠 (tell me about our boy klaus)

(also i 100% rbed that post in hopes that it'll give me an excuse to pester all my writer friends with questions, mission accomplished! 😈)

🤡 - What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

Ella, bestie - there's so many. I mean not all of them are laugh-out-loud funny, but they always bring a little smile to my face. I think Caroline pushes Klaus into a pool in Into Eternity? That's a good one. But I think most the more funny exchanges happen in The Big Bad Wolf. Somehow that fic turned into crack along the way and honestly it ran away from me. My OCs are just really fun to write. Probably the scene that made me laugh the most in that, was the bacon scene. With the lunar cycles. And then later on Klaus throwing Kol's phone out the car window because he caught him texting Rebekah about the new information. Scenes with Titus, Klaus' horse, and Sam's raven Loki also hit the top spots. Sorry, I just can't choose one.

🛒 - What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

Found family. Or a sense of family or brotherhood in general. I have no idea why. It's just too wholesome to leave out. Also probably an element of spookiness and horror, because I'm edgy like that, and I like my settings/characters a little dark, a little violent.

✨ - Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

Okay so there's no constellation emoji on the original ask list so I'm assuming you meant this one? I don't know, maybe I'm just blind but I can't find it.

So. A compliment.

Will you accept 'I write good'? Lmao I don't know.

🎶 - Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I actually have a few playlists on youtube that I set aside for writing. My brain is really sense-minded, so like when I put that music on it knows it's time to write. I've got a klaroline playlist, which are basically klaroline music vids, and also playlists for my fics. And then sometimes I just freestyle, listen to anything that comes on. I need to share the songs I listen to for TBBW at some point cause they are amazing. Here Come the Wolves by Lola Blanc screams Chapter 1. And then I Know Your Secrets by Tommee Profitt (feat. Liv Ash) is definitely Chapter 12. I remember listening to Running With The Wolves by Aurora for Chapter 13 a lot.

🙋‍♀️ - Do any irl people know you write fanfic?

Yes. Sort of. A close friend knows. Though I have not shared my ao3 name nor my fics and do not intend to lol.

💖 - What made you start writing? 

I actually can't remember when I didn't write in some shape or form. I've been writing since I was a small kid, in like primary school. Probably Year 4? Maybe even Year 3? I would have been like 7 maybe. I basically remember watching the movie of Roald Dahl's James and the Giant Peach, and little kid me thought, oh I want to write a book! And so I started writing a book called the Dragon and the Peach. I think the plot involved a dragon called Sapphira, who like goes on this quest and eats a magical peach that makes her strong and powerful so she can defeat the villain. That story eventually evolved into a different, more complex plot as I got older, with more characters and backstories. By Year 6 I wanted to be a writer when I grew up. And then in my teens I found fanfiction and well, here I am, ten years later, still writing fanfiction lol. Nothing really made me start writing. I guess Dahl's books inspired me originally, I really loved them as a kid, but nothing made me do it. No one pushed me to do it, or said I'd be good at it. For me writing has always been a calling. I really had no choice but answer.

🤗 - What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Read. Write. That's it. Read as much as you can, because that's the finest teacher of how to write. Literally. You'll find whatever genres and tropes you prefer to read will start popping up in your writing without even realising it. And when you do write, keep writing, even when you get writer's block - even if its 200 words per day or 200 words after weeks of nothing, at least its no longer a blank page. Write while figuring out how to plot, how to characterise, how to build up tension. Don't be ashamed of stuff you wrote a year ago because it sucks - it doesn't suck, you've just improved since then and now you can write better. It's a victory, not a defeat. And don't write for anyone else but yourself. Like I said before, writing is a calling. It's bleeding words onto a page because you have to get it out or you'll go crazy. You are your first reader. So write for you.

🧠 - Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favourite headcanon for them.

So. Klausy. Neeklous. Our boy Klaus. What headcanons do I have for him, hmm? 🤔

[I'm trying to think of one I haven't told you, it's a challenge]

Okay I have one. Not sure if I've included this in a fic yet, but a headcanon I love is that Klaus steals artwork from galleries and museums for kicks and replaces them with copies he painted before the originals are noticed as missing. The galleries and museums around the world have yet to catch on. He thinks its funny. Compulsion gets boring after the first few centuries, after all.

[doublelsatan]

Space Is A Lie[SPOILERS FOR ISWM 4/2/22 TRAILER]

[Just a heads up, I talk in first person for this since I'm placing myself, ideas, and conclusions into this theory. Cause we're all watching the trailer and going to be a captain of Invincible. But for this, its coming from my perspective. Got it? Cool :)]

Let me be honest with y'all, it's 11:25 AM PST time as I'm writing. I just woke up and I wasn't expecting to get hit with a nuke of depression. Thanks for that Mark, didn't know I needed that instead of coffee. Off to a great Saturday morning for me.

Before I go to the main bits that concern me I noticed something. The main hub area going dark, the hallway with the posters saying "Don't Open the Door" that shifts to the spire structure, and the cryo chamber with glowing eyes and a hand also having poster plastered around seem familiar. It's like a call back to WKM(Who Killed Markiplier) when we walk through the house with a green sickly filter. It's like traversing through limbo, being alive but possibly dead. The three shots I listed have that same look to me but it's blue with snow or dust particles floating around. It's pretty cool to see, nice shots bro.

Getting right to the point, the happy crew shot is gone forever and I'm the reason why. The only time we see them is in the hallway scene where Mark isn't trying to spill his drink and at the end giving a run through of new/old faces. But my pride and joy, "The" pride and joy, reason to exist pride and joy is gone. And it's all my fault. Haven't even boarded the ship yet but the trailer is telling me I'm the problem. Always has been.

To stab you even more in the feelies that you can't out skate in heelies, we get new phrases. "You won't save them" and "You can't save them." Like wow, thanks for telling me honestly so I just go in with no soul and watch people die from my mistakes. Which is interesting that I guessed this in another theory before. Now he's just rubbing it in my face. Great manipulation strategy in writing there Mark, 10 outta 10 would recommend. That was sarcasm but in actuality good job on that cause it worked. Every person I meet in Space is just set up to die at a specific timeframe and it's my fault. It will always be my fault...

But what if I told you, that it wasn't real? This is a guess and a real big one too. What if it was all just a simulation of sorts? Like this nice fun fancy cosmic endeavor was just an act for us to play in while something real goes on behind the scenes? We get this idea with the consistent glitching, scenes repeating or changing, the codes telling us a story, words and phrases getting cut out to give a sentence new meaning. I can't be the only one that thinks this right? And it's done intentionally too. Someone or some thing is trying to get us to know the truth of what's actually happening. Now I think we're the one's really asleep and someone from the outside is trying to wake us up. So the "Captain needs sleep" poster makes a lot more sense.

I won't rule him out entirely but it could even be Darkiplier helping us out. He's done it a few times before in the past. So he could be finally breaking out and getting what he wants. Mark's channel. Did you think I would say "me?" Mark doesn't allow his egos to give us affection so the original plan for him stays. And I feel like he's going to be painted as the villain but have the moment to prove himself. Cool if it happens, missed opportunity if it doesn't.

Honestly, I don't mind if you guys think this is stupid and rip this idea to shreds. Not gonna harm me none, it's an idea, a theory I came up with due to the information given. Besides, Mark and the one's that worked on ISWM know exactly how the story unfolds. And it's just an edited trailer to keep us busy until the final project releases. So it's fine, just mindless thoughts into an endless galaxy of theories.

Things just don't happen by accident, especially this. Welp won't know until Monday which is around the corner. We can figure it out, it'll be fine.

[pinkportrait]

Started working on my book. Ya'll may actually like it if I finish it. I really wasn't feeling it like writing wise. But then I was like... This needs more drama why don't I just use how I'm feeling? I have a vague idea of where it's going. There are lots of scenes where I have the feel and look of everything so clear.

It is partially scifi I wanna say it'll give, jupiter ascending, blade runner, dune vibes? the other part is romance which I honestly didn't think I'd ever write about aside from fanfiction... But this just came to me one day and my imagination took over. Haven't gotten it out of my head and I started thinking about how I genuinely think this is a good story. So yesterday I actually started.

I also thought about how much people have enjoyed my writing over the years and even the award online I won for something I didn't even enter. Now this story is more gear towards a script that's fair. So I'm going to really have to find ways of putting you into what I'm seeing in my head. Which let's be honest dialogue and fight scenes have always been my stronger traits I think.

I'll hire an editor at some point. Honestly it'll probably be a self publish sort of deal but I'm doing it because I believe in this story. And all the writers out here have given me inspiration to actually do it as well. Again I think other people may enjoy one of the many stories I cook up in my head. My goal will be to as much as possible put you in the moment. And almost see what I am seeing. Feel what the characters feel. Because that is one of the biggest aspects of it. And honestly every story is kinda like that.

This is spaced out real weird cause tumblr mobile does not cooperate with my keyboard.

So now that I've made this post I guess I'm comitted eh? It may very well be a flop. But I'll be glad to have you all here to witness it. If I've put you in the moment and you just don't like the stories or the characters I will still feel like I've done my job.

[puckwritesstuff]

Hi, Puck! What are your plans for your Love, Duty, and Glorious Purpose story now that Thor: Love and Thunder is out? 🤩

Thanks for the ask! Probably the first thing I plan to do is see the movie. ^_^;

As an overview, my summer job has been keeping me really busy. I was going to do an update post about the lack of progress on WIPs and how I'm still accepting asks and prompts, but I haven't even had the time to do that properly!

Speaking of, Sigyn and Loki are gonna be in Multiverse of Madness as well! I'm still working out their parts-- definitely in the fight at Kamar Taj, definitely ribbing Stephen about how he's not the Sorcerer Supreme anymore. I've also got a few ideas about how Loki and Sigyn are going to interact with the Multiverse, and then there's explaining away how Sigyn managed to lose her influence over Wanda. That's going to take some character work and worldbuilding that the movie didn't really flesh out in the way it probably should have.

However, if the Disney+ turnaround is as quick on Love and Thunder as it was on Multiverse of Madness, I should be able to see the new Thor soon when it comes to streaming.

That being said, I'm also not exactly one to avoid spoilers. (Spoilers under the cut.)

So, what is it I'm hearing about a Heimdallson????

So, yeah, Axl Rose Heimdallson is probably going to not be Sigyn's really young brother that she's just never mentioned before. I can't exactly make him a bastard he didn't know about either, because how would he not know? But from what I understand, he's there to be a kid character that the audience cares about. I think I've got one of those. I won't cut the character entirely, but he's going to have a different backstory. Probably not unlike what I did with Sylvie, only less dramatic.

Given that one of the characters is called "Gorr the God Killer" I'm expecting that death is a major theme. Which is great, because death is a major theme in LDGP! But from what I understand, it hinges on whether or not there's an afterlife, which I think could be interesting to play with, considering Sigyn's gotten multiple visions of people reaching out to her from the afterlife. I think I know what I want to do with it, but I need to see the movie first to see Gorr's character arc in regards to that.

Sounds like I'm going to be giving Sif and Bruni a bunch to do! I'm honestly glad-- I feel like of the Asgardians, I tend towards putting Fandral into situations (just cause I like Errol Flynn-type characters, and I find writing them really easy), and so it will be nice to bring out some others. Might throw in Hogun and Volstagg (my other neglected Asgardians) as well.

I think I'll want something for Rindr to do. Lord Freyr might make an appearance as well, and I really liked writing Theoric, so he might come back. It'll depend on cast size. Nari the Elder will probably not be featured. Sylvie definitely won't, I need Loki season 2 before I do more with her.

Jane's back! Gotta fix it around the breakup, but I'm excited for The Mighty Thor to finally make her debut. As for the end... I mean, I know I've said that I don't like unnecessary character deaths. I need to watch the movie, but it doesn't sound like Jane's was one of them. The Warriors Three, yes, Classic Loki, yes, but Jane? I'm not seeing that as a fridge moment as much. On the other hand, I kinda fridged Heimdall, so... But again, I haven't seen the movie yet.

And speaking of fridging, the super spoiler character. I have no idea what I'm doing with her. But I guess this is what I get for trying to look into the MCU's future.

I feel like I'm forgetting something... Oh, yeah.

The sun will shine again.

[dumbass-mha-simp]

Hawks x Reader: Bad Idea

Another self indulgent Hawks fic that I've literally had in my notes for months. He lives in my head rent free along with my other 22 fake boyfriend's because I'm ✨mentally unstable.✨ It is a song fic tho, Bad Idea ft. Shiloh Dynasty https://youtu.be/kH9hJnT7KkE

Tw: food, depression, Hawks is honestly just feeling it bro- same dude,

Word count: almost 2k? I think

Requests are open! Honestly I'm probably terrible but the only things I can think to write are those imaginary situations I put myself in

(Y/L/N)- your last name

(Y/N)- your name

Thoughts or emphasized talk are in italics

Also idk why but I imagine he removes his feathers to shower since they probably need different cleaning conditions and also they just seem like a hassle in showers.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Here he was, the number two prohero. Everyone assumed his life was perfect, anything he wanted served on a gold platter. He felt the guilt creep up into him.

I should be thankful. The thoughts ate away at his mind in the rare seconds he got alone. You shouldn't be so selfish. So annoying. So insufferable.

Takami pushed these thoughts back. "No one needs to know how you think, Keigo." He whispers out to himself in his office.

He scrawled at paper work, trying to not let the self depreciating thoughts feast away on his mind. Unfortunately for him, different thoughts came up.

His best friend, Rumi had this friend. (Y/L/N). Smart, attractive, sometimes a little rough around the edges, but amazing. He found his mind wandering to them all too often.

They were mostly unknown, despite their insanely strong quirk. They preferred to stay out of the lime-light, through that irritable exterior sat overwhelming anxiety and shyness. But they always denied it.

He stopped himself as he realized he's spent 10 minutes only thinking of them, a friend. Yeah right.

He lazily walked out of the office waving to all his employees as he made his way outside. His eyes slowly dragged to the darkly faded blue sky, dusted in clouds. Cold, tired, aching. Just how he felt.

He took a slow brisk flight to his house, feeling the wind bash his face and the air flow through his feathers. He gently placed a foot on the metal railing of his balcony, taking a deep step to the ground and opening the door.

The emptiness rung through his apartment like a blaring siren. You have everything. How can you still want more?

The voices in his head screamed and clawed their way out. You're nobody. No one ever loved you. You're so alone. You're nothing but a tool to the commission. You're actual character is useless.

He shed his coat, boots, and pants. Looking to himself in the mirror as he removed most of his feathers. He looked exhausted as he stumbled into the shower, numbly.

The next ten minutes seemed to elude him when he wondered how much time has gone by of him staring at the shower wall blankly.

He dried off a bit then looked around his kitchen for something to eat. Have I eaten today? The buzz and light of his phone on the counter startled him.

"Hey, Hawks." A single, simple message from (Y/L/N). Okay don't panic.

"What's up?" He replied swiftly.

"I had this feeling something was wrong and wanted to check up on you."

"Why would you think that?" He tried to play it off like it wasn't true without actually lying.

"I'm not sure. Do you maybe wanna join me?" You asked.

"Where?"

"Well, every once in awhile when I need a break I go and stargaze with a night picnic. It helps me relax, and if you think it might help I'd want to. I can tell something's off." You were always so convincing. It felt like you weren't too nosy or snoopy but you understood.

"Text me where to be and when?" He let out a gentle smile at his phone.

"The dollar store on 4th in 10 minutes? So we can choose some snacks together?"

"I'll be there."

Did Takami think any problems where going to be solved with some food in the dark? No. But would he skip the opportunity to be with you, to find out how he really felt when it was just you two? Absolutely not.

He landed down on the broken pavement outside of the old dollar store, scanning around to see you.

"Boo!" A bump from behind had him flinching to see the sound as you stood behind him giggling. "Got ya."

"Very funny (Y/L/N) the most amazing trick yet." He rolled his eyes with a slight smile.

"C'mon let's go grab a bunch of terrible snacks and call it a picnic, bird brain."

You two walked into the store and walked a large circle around it, choosing chips and candy and drinks at your leisure. Once you got to the counter, he fights you to his wallet.

"It's my picnic."

"And I'm the very special guest who was so generously invited. I'm paying." He grins as you pout at him.

Grabbing the bags you placed them in the back seat as you offered passenger side to him.

"I don't like cars."

"Why not?"

"Cramps my wings."

You look at him with the biggest puppy eyes you can manage. "You already agreed to keep me company and pay for the snacks, let me do something for you?"

"Fine, but only cause you're pouting kid."

He gently sits in your passenger seat as you strap yourself in and turn the car on. The car hums and the music playing softly on the radio are the only things heard. The peace feeling too good to break.

Once you pull your car up into the parking lot of a small park and grab your bags, you begin leading him to your usual place.

"Hold these." You hand him the bags as you jump and climb up on top of a big metal container. You peer over the side with big eyes and a smile as you say to him, "now hand me the bags and do what I did!"

He looks at you with a wide smirk before simply flying up to join you. "Or you can do it the cheater's way." You pouted and bumped his shoulder.

"It's not cheating, it's using my resources." He says with a triumphant smirk.

"Your cheating resources." You pull out your gummy candies and started eating as you leaned back till you were laying down.

"Do you like the stars, Hawks?" You say like your sleep talking, staring into the night sky.

"Keigo." He shifts to lay down about a foot away from you. "You can call me, Keigo. And... I don't think I've ever taken time to look at the stars."

"No sneaking out away from parents to sit on vans and stargaze? Or watching the sunrise with a partner while eating fast food?"

"What kinda date is sitting in a car for hours staring at the sky and eating?" He laughs.

"Ah one that never really happened, he just said he would. But never mind that repressed shit." A sad laugh forces itself out as you stare between the stars.

"Was he cute?" He tried to sound funny but it came out more sympathetic.

"Sometimes," you laugh with him. "But he had really nice hands."

"Hands? That's an odd thing to find attractive." He turned his head over to look at you as your eyes seemed to burn holes in the dark milky blue sky.

He continued laughing with you about this guy but couldn't help an overwhelming feeling of jealousy. Who was he? Did he look anything like him? Was this recent?

"Keigo?" A voice snapped at his train or thought, "Yes, (Y/L/N)?" He replied rushed.

"Do you want your mini cookies?" You ask looking to him with the bag.

"Oh, yeah. Thanks." He mentions grabbing the bag from your finger tips.

He ate his cookies and thought as you seemed either lost in your head, or lost in the stars.

Loving you would be selfish. As such a high ranking hero, he's made a target for himself and anyone around him. He's broken down, can't feel. You obviously have other people on your mind. Someone like you wouldn't be single long.

"When did he leave?" He blurts out without thinking. Maybe it's a sore subject-

"Long ago." You look lost, your eyes searching and wandering but never grabbing hold of exactly where you should be. "Why?" Well I guess if I'm gonna start prying might as well go all the way.

"He thought that maybe he could love me. But now that's just ridiculous," you laugh coldly. "Who would love me?"

"Falling in love with you seems like a really bad idea. But not on your part." He whispers into the wind, hoping it'll carry his words away from you.

"What do you mean?" You look completely confused, almost scattered.

"You're quiet, and I'm someone who puts a spotlight on practically anyone around me. You'd constantly be put in danger. Plus I'm arrogant and cocky, nothing at all like you." He acted like he could see the stars as you could. He stared into them finding any way he could to avoid your eyes.

"You could get hurt or I could annoy you." He whispers.

"I had no idea you felt that way, Keigo." You whisper back, shock keeping your voice quiet.

His eyes burned holes into the night sky, he felt he shouldn't look at you. The mental image of you already wouldn't go away.

"You wanna know something, Keigo? I can read people like books, I can read stars like stories, and I can read in-between lines like they were in bold font. But, you always catch me off guard. Reading you is like a mystery novel. Sometimes intense, sometimes peaceful, but always keeping me wondering." You smile into the stars, you can tell he desperately doesn't want to see your eyes. "You're always leaving everyone on the edge of their seat, and when you leave you can't stop thinking of the next time you'll come. What you'll bring."

"I....I don't think I understand (Y/L/N)-" Keigo's soon cut off.

"(Y/N)"

"Well, (Y/N)- I don't think I understand." He tries to sit up and look at you.

"You catch me off guard, something about you speaks to me in ways I know you never actually would. I can see it, the way you stumble or hesitate. I can tell somethings scared you into silence." You've never had much chance to talk about the ways you analyze people, you wanted to tell him how you could tell the way he acted wasn't always good.

"I think you might be reading too much into this, kid." He tries to intervene.

"I get if you don't want to tell me." You stared up at the stars, waiting for him to do the same. "You see there?" You pointed to a star. "That's a constellation."

"They just look like stars." He seemed a bit disappointed that he couldn't see stars the way you did, with such knowledge and wonder in your eyes.

"That's cause they are," you giggled to him, "it's not like I can actually see the pictures either."

"You.. you can't?" He looked to you confused but slightly hopeful, how could they look at them but not see too?

"That's the whole point, Keigo. It's being able to see what's not really there. Sometimes I stare into the sky hoping to see any semblance of hope, but that's not how it is. You have to teach yourself to look at what could be there." He stared to you, a small content smile graced your face. You were beautiful.

"(Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Maybe, loving you isn't such a bad idea.." he looked remorseful, staring into the stars. Maybe he could see it too one day.

"What do you mean?" You glace to him.

"You see so much, you can read and see the things I want to see. I want to learn, (Y/N). I want to see how you do."

The smile on your face spread.

"I'd love to show you."

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is Humphrey’s playlist:

Body - Mother Mother

I wish I were sorry, but I’m honestly not. There’s no real consensus regarding what the song is actually about. I usually interpret it as being about body/gender dysphoria which isn’t really relevant here but I guess it links to the separation between body and soul and the idea that the body doesn’t define you which I think is quite relevant to Humphrey who relies on his soul for attention from others rather than his physical presence in a room.

Sign of the Times - Harry Styles

I feel like Humphrey probably has the most reasonable understanding of the passage of time of all the ghosts. He’s very down to earth compared to the rest of them. I know Robin has been there longer but I think he’s probably accepted the change of time without really considering it philosophically, whereas with Humphrey getting lost all the time he’s probably had more time to contemplate and I think he’d appreciate the song to listen to while he’s stuck various places. Also he’d like he piano, Humphrey’s a kinda piano man you can’t tell me otherwise (no Billy Joel fuck off).

Greensleeves - Ralph Vaughan Williams & Philharmonia Orchestra

This’ll come up a lot in various other ghosts’ playlists but I’ve tried to include some music from each of their time periods to try and capture what they would have heard so yeah, enjoy some Tudor music.

Tilted - Christine and the Queens

It’s been established that Humphrey’s wife was French so I felt the need to include at least a little bit of French which this song obviously captures. Also again it’s kinda the idea of not having total control over your body.

Abracadabra - Steve Miller Band

No idea why it’s just a Humphrey song I will take no criticism on this.

Don’t Look Back In Anger - Oasis

The scene with Fanny and Humphrey talking about their marriages is one of my favourite scenes and basically the whole “marriage went wrong but you can’t look back at it with contempt because it’s over now and time’s moved on” is what he was trying to say to Fanny and aid her recovery from her marriage trauma in the same way that Humphrey has healed from his.

High and Dry - Radiohead

I also see this song in reference to that scene with Fanny because it’s like no precise meaning to my knowledge but I interpret it as being about telling someone to let go of other people and what’s happening with them and focus on yourself and what you need.

My Iron Lung - Radiohead

Humphrey’s death is constrained by the decisions he made in life that brought about his death, which is kindaaaaa the meaning of the song like it’s a stretch. Like it’s actually about Radiohead being constrained by Creep as one of their most successful songs but like the idea of being stuck in a box and not being able to live freely. I really want to learn more about Humphrey’s life in the new series cause like, I want development to show how his beheading was brought about and what it’s like to live his… death completely restrained by his situation.

Body Terror Song - AJJ

“I’m so sorry that you have to have a body, one that will hurt you, and be the subject of so much of your fear, it will betray you, be used against you, then it'll fail on you my dear”. There we go!! Humphrey’s body wanders away - newsflash from me.

Eleanor Rigby - The Beatles

“A ballad for the lonely”, catch me crying over Humphrey as usual. But yeah obvious reason is cause Humphrey is often left alone and unable to interact with the others. The other thing I like to think when listening to this song is about the idea of lonely people noticing the little details no one else does, in the song it’s clearly the little details about the protagonists lives (Eleanor Rigby picking up tiny grains of rice with no one to help, and Father McKenzie writing sermons no one will hear) but Humphrey - like I think many lonely people — notices little things like Francis writing the letter to Thomas etc.

Where Is My Mind? - Pixies

Idk this song is just trippy. I remember reading ages ago that it was about scuba diving. But yeah, I primarily think it’s a Humphrey song because I just like the image of his body wandering aimlessly about the house with this song looking for his head XD

Waterloo Sunset - The Kinks

Again, I’ve said this a few times now but Humphrey being an observer of Button House and what takes place within it’s walls, just watching the others going about their days as he sits alone. I know the writer said he watched the world from the window of a hospital as a child and I think being able to watch over the city without being able to participate because of physical ailment is pretty telling.

O Lord, in Thy Wrath - Orlando Gibbons & Choir of Clare College, Cambridge

This is just a Tudor song. I grew up very very religious and, while I’m not sure I heard this exact song, I spent hours upon hours in church services every week with songs very similar to this and the music was the only thing I actually enjoyed about it. But yeah, I wanted to include at least a few religious songs in Humphrey’s because of my theory regarding his death which (given that we might find out about it in season 3 and I might be totally wrong) I’m gonna just briefly mention XD I basically think his death might’ve been religiously motivated because of the instability of state sanctioned religion in England at the time. Elizabeth I (monarch when Humphrey died) put 200 Catholics to death and given that Humphrey was married to a French woman and the French were under Catholic rule at the time it might not be too far outside the realm of possibility for Humphrey to have lost his head for being the ‘wrong’ denomination. Idk, probably miles off cause I’m really bad at theories but we’ll find out soon hopefully!!

Pantyhose and Roses - Echobelly

Just for the line “it could change but it never will”. Being a ghost must be such a difficult existence because there’s very little they can do to change what’s wrong because they obviously can’t leave where they die. But especially for Humphrey, nothing can change really for him because of his situation.

Waltz #2 (XO) - Elliott Smith

“I’m never gonna know you now, but I’m gonna love you anyhow”. As far as we know Humphrey’s relationship with his wife obviously wasn’t the best and it seems as if he possible barely knew her cause of the language barrier and the fact it was an arranged marriage.

After Hours - The Velvet Underground

This song has such a feeling of isolation like wishing that you could be a part of everyone’s fun but you’ve yet to find the person with whom you can experience that fun with.

Out of Time - Blur

I’ve said it before I’ll say it again but the idea of noticing the small things around you and focussing on the bigger picture of the world rather than hyper fixating on the intricacies of our own existence. Also, this is totally irrelevant but there’s an episode of Torchwood called ‘Out of Time’ in which three people from the 1950s suddenly rock up in 2000s Cardiff and the Torchwood 3 team have to take care of them and try to teach them about the modern world (it’s one of my favourite episodes, like it’s genuinely really good) and I think that’s really cool.

Blackstar - David Bowie

The song is just sad and I put it on any playlist of a sad character, no further explanation.

Why do I use my paper, ink and pen? - William Byrd, Stile Antico & Fretwork

More Tudor music, Tudor musiccccc.

25 Minutes to Go - Johnny Cash

Obvious but yeah there we go: just basically a man waiting and being led to his death which, if the assassination theory is to be believed (which we shall soon find out I guess) then the idea of Humphrey being led to his death is potentially gonna be a sorrowful story to hear about in the show??

[worksby-d]

Hey Dest! Congrats on 4.5k!!!💗💗 you’re blog is my favorite blog that I follow on here and I always look forward to your writing. I don’t have a request lol, more like an “advice needed” ask. So it’s my first week at college and I already lowkey want to go home lmao. I feel like everyone has these amazing college stories about how they met their “best friend for life” on their first day/week at college and that just isn’t happening for me. I’ve made a few casual friends but nothing special. I’m fairly introverted and don’t like to go out late or party etc. I like reading in my room and chilling. But like I don’t wanna change who I am as a person or put on a facade of someone I’m not, just to make friends. Ya know? I hope things start to get better eventually cause I’m very lonely at the moment, I cry like daily, and miss my high school besties✌️- I don’t mean to treat you like a therapist lol so I’m so sorry if this overwhelms you, but I always like the advice you give and you seem chill and are my fav person on this app. If anyone else has advice feel free to chime in lol. Thanks Dest <3

hi!! oh i'm crying lol you're very nice and this isn't overwhelming at all 🥺 i absolutely relate. i cried SO MUCH my first semester of college for the same exact reasons. i literally started researching how to transfer to a school back home LMAO i'm grateful i didn't do that now, but wow i was MISERABLE. i think i began making more friends the second semester and second year because i finally started classes with people that had similar interests as me? ya know like i guess idk how it is at your school, but once i got past the general classes, i got into my major/minor classes and was better able to bond with people. i still didn't really make super strong friendships, but it was nice to at least meet people i could study with and what not!! and i'm also very introverted and don't really like going out, so that was enough for me haha a little library hangout was always fun 😅 i don't know i still feel like i didn't have the college experience everyone else did LIKE i still talk to a few people i consider friends, but i don't have any wild stories like all of my hometown friends🧍🏼‍♀️ but i think that's okay!! the point is to get your degree and be successful afterward lol no need to get shit-faced every weekend if that isn't what you want to do! ANYWAY where am i going with this– give yourself time and i truly think it'll get better! but also honestly if you're still not happy a couple months down the road, there's absolutely nothing wrong with making some sort of change that will make you happier! could be actually moving, could be something else.

anyhoo, good luck!! i hope your classes and everything are going well <3

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Hey Janis: you alright? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: Obviously stressing over what to wear for community service 😱😱 Janis: nah, just the standard bullshit though, nothing unexpected or that I can't handle Jimmy: that's a good shout, I heard there's gonna be a dickhead there with a 📷 and nowt to do cos he's too 😎🚬 to do what he's told Janis: Oh God, sounds like the worst Janis: 👍 for the warning, mate Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Go on then, answer for an answer Jimmy: what are you asking? Janis: I've already asked, are you alright? Jimmy: I ain't 😭 over picking up litter, clean tables every day, me Janis: 'course Janis: 💕 it so much you wanna do it for free, right Jimmy: The CG's wage ain't nowt to write up north about Jimmy: 💔💰🎻 Janis: I'm glad you've not got a family back home you're tryna support with coffee beans Janis: might make me almost feel bad, and I can't give my family the satisfaction so fuck you, like Jimmy: that you know of Jimmy: could have a 👶 in every mine Jimmy: fit as well as mysterious, like Janis: No one is fit enough they need to reproduce on an already overpopulated planet Janis: not even you, new boy 🤷 Jimmy: never said they were wanted 👶 Jimmy: in that part of the country, who isn't an unloved bastard Jimmy: 🗬🖋 Janis: obviously Janis: in this country we had to go to yours to really do fuck all about it for 50 odd years Janis: and who wants to go to Liverpool, honestly 🤢 Janis: least if you drag it up might contribute to your funds eventually Jimmy: You don't wanna go dig up that one band they're a bit famous for then? Jimmy: proper pissed on my #datenight plans that Janis: had enough ✌ & 💕 to last a lifetime, soz Janis: photoshop me in Jimmy: but have you had enough 👻🥊? Jimmy: think on, dickhead Janis: plenty 'round here for that Janis: though too many memebers of my family are still unfortunately living so Jimmy: UGH you NEVER wanna do the things I WANNA DO!! 😣😣 Janis: 😏 fine, jump bail with me and smuggle aboard the next ferry Janis: if you're gonna be a nag, like Jimmy: now you're 🗨 Jimmy: won't have to swap you for Asia for a bit Janis: Get her to guess the band, that'd be insightful Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Get her to do your community service, might get hit by a car or kidnapped by the twat driving long as he's got 🍬 Janis: Your attempt to get to spend more time with her is blatant Janis: 💔 she didn't show to your party, Gatsby? Jimmy: I'm just so 😍😍😍😍 soz mate Jimmy: and yeah tah for the salt in my wounds Janis: Poor boy Janis: 'least her boyfriend didn't shoot you, swings and roundabouts Jimmy: why you saying that like it's a good thing? Jimmy: born ready to ⚰ Janis: he'd not shoot me Janis: 😇 that I am Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: he'd probably miss, any road Jimmy: leave me with a scar that does nowt but make me more fit and more mysterious Janis: 🙄 see, a good thing Janis: no one needs that, least of all you, so shy and retiring really, yeah Jimmy: ✔ Janis: don't you leave me on read, dickead Jimmy: or what? Janis: I won't send you a postcard when I get to where I'm really going Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: but gonna be I'm #living for the picture on the front Janis: Wish you were here has never been faker Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Wonder who grassed Jimmy: 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Not a bet I'd take on 'cos probably Jimmy: that or your 🤵💍 wasn't as into 💔 as he reckoned he would be Jimmy: soz sir Janis: married to the job Janis: shoulda known Janis: not his school, like Jimmy: not like I fucked you on his desk, he got off way easier than he were 🗬🤤 Janis: All talk Janis: like all lads Jimmy: Oi Janis: Would you like me to tell you you're different Janis: you don't say much so it isn't untrue, on that count Jimmy: you've only got the one job, rich girl, do you seriously need me to tell you how to do it? Janis: I shouldn't put community service on my LinkedIn? 🤔 Janis: damn Jimmy: gutting I know Jimmy: you'll look proper fit in the jumpsuit an' all, all that possible promo just pissed up the wall Janis: shut up Janis: shit, I didn't ask Janis: what is gonna happen with your actual job? Janis: could you make the hours work without needing to let on to them or what Jimmy: it'll get out Jimmy: more 💰 on 💀👑 Janis: Time how long it takes her to be in your inbox with the 🖤mail Janis: make you her personal bitchboy for life Janis: ugh Jimmy: I'll just tell 'em, either they'll want me to do my shifts round it or they won't Janis: yeah Janis: sorry Jimmy: for what? Janis: if you get sacked Jimmy: dickheads need lattes all over town Janis: true Janis: shame if you don't even get a reference out of the experience though Jimmy: not sure I want one from a knobhead who's never there and reckons my name's Jamie though Janis: still devastated Janis: but not about me, being supportive Jimmy: he could be my fall guy, weren't me it were all him, shady twat Jimmy: never even set foot in a school, me Janis: Get your coworker to alibi Jimmy: he'd obvs only do it if you asked him Jimmy: like owt else Janis: don't do yourself down, babe Janis: he specifically said you seem like 'a chill guy' Jimmy: I were dragging you down if I were doing owt, babe Jimmy: but alright Janis: yeah well you've called me a slag before Janis: not news Jimmy: Have I? Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: always keep it #goals Janis: yeah, you weren't being very 'chill' either Janis: but he don't have to know Jimmy: #whenshekeepsyoursecrets Janis: every battered wife knows the drill Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: 🤞 lad Janis: wouldn't worry, 🐷 do fuck all 'cept protect one of their own Janis: #ladsladslads Jimmy: @ my other co-workers Jimmy: been busted lads Janis: brothers in brews Janis: such a strong bond Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: making me emotional tbh Jimmy: 👮🚔💕 Janis: gotta beat real siblings, like Jimmy: speaking of, you reckon they'll let me take the 🐕 with me? Save me a job Janis: Worth asking Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I've gotta beg the speakers back from 'em so Janis: class first impressions Jimmy: I'll do it, soft lad is obvs the first impression I make as standard Janis: you saying you can bat your eyelashes better than me? Jimmy: duh Jimmy: mine are well longer than yours Janis: fuck off Jimmy: 📏 matters, Janet Janis: you'd know, fat bitch Jimmy: 😱😱😱😱 Jimmy: just 'cause I've got better tits than you, no need to start a scrap Janis: Tits don't count if you only got 'em 'cos you're obese Janis: ask your girlfriend Jimmy: I will Jimmy: properly miss her so any excuse for a 🗨 Janis: you deserve each other, truly Jimmy: Tah, my dear Janis: so you'll be pleased to know you'll be spending less time with me from now on Jimmy: why? Janis: my parents have really leaned into the narrative and have decided you're the enemy Jimmy: Bill's 👻 must've had a word Janis: Yeah Janis: might've mentioned the joyride just to really fuck 'em off and all Jimmy: You wanna call things off then? Jimmy: it weren't part of the plan, them getting Shakespearean about it Janis: nah, fuck that Janis: they'd be doing it regardless, decided they should finally give the whole parenting thing a go Janis: just saying the story can be we're being cruelly kept apart Janis: not that I'm planning to stay locked in my fucking tower actually, already made my first break so Jimmy: Alright Janis: sound more buzzing you don't have to see me, could you Jimmy: 😁😆😄 Jimmy: there you go Janis: 💕 Janis: so sweet Janis: I won't shout about my MIA status, wouldn't be #goals for you to not know where I am Jimmy: do owt for you, you know it and it's obvs vice versa Jimmy: you just proved it there Janis: 'course Janis: will say it was me and hot barista that planned it all if you need Jimmy: bollocks are you taking credit for my idea Janis: I did the heavy work Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: that's the fakest thing you've ever tried to make sound real Janis: excuse me Jimmy: you heard Janis: don't chat shit Janis: We both pulled it off but we can throw him under the 🚎 Janis: you've already taken Jamie away from me Janis: what's the point now Janis: save yourself Jimmy: shut up Janis: do you love him? Jimmy: Do you? Janis: yeah Janis: one convo and bam Janis: actually that 😍 bitch Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I'll see myself out Janis: 'til 💀 do us part, dickhead Jimmy: that'll be you and Mr Lucas Jimmy: I'd remember if I'd been down on one knee Janis: me too Janis: so hard done by Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: you cool with being done that dirty Janis: 📏 counts for shit when you lack enthusiasm Jimmy: ain't the first time Janis: shh Janis: don't need to know how often you were down on your knees, tah Jimmy: that don't bode well for our insta q&a Janis: fake rock my world some more then Janis: selfish Jimmy: I'll climb to the top of your white tower any time, girl Jimmy: you're the one MIA Janis: Only at night Janis: gotta be up bright and early for our date 💕 Jimmy: I don't think fucking on a pile of rubbish we've just collected would be considered very #goals but I'll give it a 🥇 spin Janis: there's no way 'round how unapproved all this criminal activity is Janis: still worth it Jimmy: Dunno about you but I'm 👏🏆 in every DM Jimmy: that 😎🚬 rep been set proper in stone now Janis: Lucky you Janis: I've been too busy getting lectured Jimmy: poor baby Janis: I know Jimmy: What can I do to make you feel better? Janis: down you go Jimmy: Alright Janis: I don't know though Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: You in a rush too? Jimmy: Got loads of other girlfriends to 👀 Janis: how many fakes one though Jimmy: That'd be telling Janis: so go on Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: have multiple fake girlfriends or tell me about the others Jimmy: Well? Janis: you could get them all to do different shit for you Janis: potential there Janis: idk why you wouldn't tell me if you did though, not like it'd fake break my heart Jimmy: There's your answer then Jimmy: not gonna give away secrets you don't give a shit about hearing Jimmy: what kind of power move Janis: You want to fake break my heart Jimmy: Why would I wanna go off script? Jimmy: The plan is you break mine Janis: I know Janis: not likely to forget what we're doing here Jimmy: Don't forget to tell me how to make you feel better then Jimmy: it's obvs all I'm breathing for Janis: just as obvs I don't really care about any of the Drama™ Janis: as long as I've got you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: just as obvs that I wanna know where you are 'cos I'm bored and dunno where to go or what to do Jimmy: [sends her a pic of him at the park by his house like oh hey] Janis: 😍 Janis: obvious, if the dog isn't with you then I'm not really interested Jimmy: [a pic of Twix because of course] Janis: colour me convinced Janis: we should probably show the fans a united front anyway right Janis: not turned on each other soon as the law got involved, like Jimmy: 🖌☻ Jimmy: not racist if it's your happy colour, right? Janis: 😂 Janis: it's NOT a free pass but Janis: not mad about it, don't tell Jimmy: 😅😅 Janis: it was alright though Janis: the party Janis: aside from doing what we set out to achieve Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I might throw another one Jimmy: maybe it'll be my rep next place I end up Janis: 🦋 Jimmy: 🤡 probably getting closer Janis: no fit and mysterious but Janis: maybe the next place will have less cunts Jimmy: could be fit and murderous Jimmy: 🤡🔪🔪 Janis: 🙏 Janis: keep my 👀 on the news Jimmy: I'll give you a shoutout, baby Jimmy: write your name in blood or something Janis: Carve it in a victim so I know you remember it 💘 Janis: 🤤🤤 Jimmy: like I said, owt for you, Jules Janis: Thanks Janis: just tell me when you're gonna murder-suicide Janis: can't stay dying here forever Jimmy: I promise Janis: Good Janis: 💀💕 Jimmy: 👻💕 Janis: gonna have to get as far out of this place as I can before I go Janis: refuse to be stuck haunting this shithole for eternity Jimmy: #same Jimmy: though I dunno where's gonna be any different Janis: anywhere you don't know anyone and they don't know you Janis: I reckon Jimmy: that's here for me Jimmy: still don't 💕 it Janis: you'll have to go back home then? Janis: don't know how you're getting through customs as a wanted man but you'll make it happen Jimmy: fuck that Jimmy: if that's where my heart's meant to be you can actually 🔪 it out Janis: would LOVE to have your heart Janis: ultimate goals amirite Jimmy: you can take it then Janis: hot Janis: seeing as everywhere on earth is shit then, shall we just go straight to hell? Jimmy: You said you were going 😇☁ Janis: hold onto your 😎 'cos it's the same place Janis: truth is, just a fucking bummer if you're 😈 Jimmy: What? Janis: heaven and hell are the same place, some people reckon Janis: what could be more torturous than constant classical music and having to wear white for someone so fit and mysterious? Janis: you're gonna be 💔 baby Jimmy: How could you!? Jimmy: pissed on my afterlife Janis: So soz Janis: can always subscribe to reincarnation, might be a laugh Jimmy: 🦍 actually Jimmy: Dan would be so 😍😍 Janis: 😂 Janis: Ahh Dan Jimmy: OMG you can be a 😳🐷 #fated Janis: Shut up Janis: I'm not being breakfast Jimmy: Or a 🦇!!! Janis: That's more appealing Janis: I'd do that Janis: give fuckers rabies amongst other awful diseases Jimmy: such a romantic, you Janis: you just need to avoid hunters Janis: you can be chilling up trees, when you're not kidnapping ladies Jimmy: protect me when I'm 💤 babe Janis: Cute Janis: how am I gonna know it's you though? Jimmy: What kind of signal do you want? Jimmy: 🚬☁? Janis: where are you getting 😎 from and all Janis: I'll just have to bite a lot of gorilla necks 'til one of 'em is into it Jimmy: Duh the lasses I've kidnapped Jimmy: what else are they good for? Janis: I don't know if they really discussed that in king kong Janis: I hope not Jimmy: Date night 2 after we've dug up Lennon and Co Jimmy: I've never seen it Janis: Me either Janis: I assume it's not a classic about Beastiality but Janis: might get 🍀 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can liveblog Dan Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: in his DMs til his lass leaves him Janis: love that rep for me Janis: homewrecking then peacing out Jimmy: you have got form Janis: what are friends for Janis: free to tap that now, you're welcome Jimmy: if I wanted to 🐸 lad wouldn't have stopped me Jimmy: but tah very much Janis: yeah? Jimmy: What's your question? Janis: never mind Janis: his resemblance to pond life is uncanny Jimmy: 🎯 Janis: 🙊 Janis: I hope they're not all single now Janis: they get even more demonic when there's no dick around to distract them even for a sec, like Jimmy: Do you want me to do a poll? They'll tell me Janis: They'd lie to bone you Janis: Only Asia is stupid enough to not, God bless Jimmy: lucky me Janis: you don't have medical level BO and you can form basic sentences Janis: makes you a 🤴 to them but not special, you feel me Janis: the bar is underground Jimmy: SUCH a sweet talker, you 😳 Janis: I know Janis: just feeling #inspired by you Jimmy: you're meant to inspire me, dickhead Jimmy: gotta do everything myself round here Janis: I'll distract you Janis: make you do the wrong thing Janis: just 😇 things Jimmy: I'l see the paint coming this time, Judith Jimmy: it's the sober light of day Janis: Unfortunately Janis: my shower looked like a Pollock painting this AM Janis: and I can feel just how unsober last night was Jimmy: where's the 📷 you rookie? Janis: 😰 Jimmy: this is where us being #starcrossed falls down Jimmy: useless without me Janis: I wasn't feeling very inspired Janis: after the bollocking from the police, then from my parents, all whilst I could barely stand or 👀 Jimmy: you're 💔 me, girl Janis: I didn't even know where you were Janis: so dramatic, lowkey a stampede when garda showed Jimmy: I get it, you had your 🤞 they'd already sent me back to the grim north Janis: of course Janis: fake prison boyf Jimmy: fuck every other ldr that's the one Janis: could send you the good treats and nudes and shit Janis: so much more manageable Jimmy: you'd never be that nice to me Janis: once 👏 you 👏 kill 👏 for 👏 me 👏 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: not got nowt else on Janis: won't even make it awkward and ask you to kill my sister Janis: pick whoever you wanna, got no preference here Jimmy: 💀👑 first Jimmy: the rest of 'em would feel it Janis: they are the flea to her rat Janis: gotta have that host body Jimmy: and I'd only have to touch her and she'd crumble to dust, an easy 🏆 Janis: How she's fucked as many lads as she has is beyond me Jimmy: 🤢🤢🤢 shh Janis: I know, it's disturbing and baffling on so many levels Janis: she doesn't even look like a good ride, who went there first and found out Janis: so many questions Jimmy: where's that q&a #content Mia? Janis: 😏 Janis: we should do one, not about the mystery of her skeletal vag Jimmy: the fans will have loads about the party and all that bollocks Jimmy: she'll have to wait Janis: gotta let the people know we made up Jimmy: can do it when you get here Jimmy: my brother's about but so's the 🐕 they're alright Janis: can keep the #content family-friendly Janis: read between the lines, lads Jimmy: yeah the 🐕 is more distracting than you Janis: Charming Janis: 😂 Janis: if I didn't feel like microwaved shit Jimmy: if you were 🥇 like me that wouldn't matter Janis: I didn't 📷 you don't know what I look like, twat Jimmy: you said feel Jimmy: nowt's been mentioned about how either of us look Janis: you sent me a pic Jimmy: and? Jimmy: you can either fake it or you can't 'cause you're either 🥇 or nowt Janis: 'course I can fake it Janis: just not gonna go that hard in front of your brother, obviously Janis: not 🥉 behaviour, that, just weird Jimmy: convenient that Jimmy: your excuse is non-existent 'cause as I said he's only got 👀 for the 🐕 Jimmy: bit like you Janis: 🙄 fine Janis: you're feeling unloved Jimmy: steady on, we're not having a therapy session on the 'gram Janis: just 😍 Janis: I know Jimmy: Go on then Jimmy: what do you look like? Janis: I've really got to send you a picture so you can tell me I look like shit? Janis: How about we get there and I just listen to all those fake compliments, like Jimmy: If I say please, will you give in? Janis: depends Jimmy: on how I say it or on something else? Janis: if you limit yourself to a word after you've seen it as well Jimmy: I can do that Janis: [we all know you look good you always do bitch] Jimmy: unfair Jimmy: there's my word Janis: okay Janis: I can deal with that Janis: more ? than ! Jimmy: I dunno if I can deal with you setting me up Janis: huh? Jimmy: I just thought you were gonna look Jimmy: and then you're Janis: well you don't look bad either so Janis: it's fair Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: you heard me, I said unfair Janis: well alright Janis: but you're just as unfair then Jimmy: Nah I weren't faking I were 🧟 when I'm actually a hot 🧛 Janis: you're a 👻 Janis: if you don't get to come back as the peak hottest version of yourself, that's some bullshit Jimmy: Duh I actually were 👴 when I ⚰ you just 👀 me as 😎🚬 Janis: Best of both worlds Jimmy: that'll be why I'm such an optimist Janis: ☀ Janis: exactly what comes to mind tbh Jimmy: obvs Janis: think I might've accidentally got on a ghost bus though Janis: it's taking longer than usual, maybe I've been on here forever? Janis: who can say Jimmy: I should've offered to pick you up in Ian's car Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Janis: fake boyfriend who wants to clock up all those hours scrubbing graffiti Jimmy: only 'cause date night 3 I'm planning to take you to put it all back Jimmy: if you're inspiring enough, that is Janis: 😏 Janis: keep doubting #hatersaremymotivatorsbabe Jimmy: prove it then I can't Jimmy: job done ✔ Janis: you want another picture with a 📰🗞 to prove I'm not lying, yeah Jimmy: You, lie? Bollocks would you Janis: know, it's what you 💕 best about me Jimmy: Yeah Janis: how is the actual loml today then? Jimmy: What the fuck does that mean? Janis: BABE!!! Janis: love of my life, OMG Jimmy: have you just made that up? Janis: don't be ridiculous Janis: start # me as such like RN Jimmy: [cue extra socials flirting] Janis: shit just got real, lads Jimmy: must be why I miss you Jimmy: nowt to do with how shit this park is Janis: obviously not Janis: everything's just more shit when I ain't about Jimmy: You're not wrong, bighead Jimmy: Love being bollocked by paddy 👮 me Janis: 🤤 was pretty blatant to me but don't reckon they noticed Jimmy: lads in uniform are just so 🤤🤤🤤 Jimmy: if I were american I could 🤞 Ian would send me to military school but 💔 Janis: only get your institutionalized abuse if you're rich enough to afford it Janis: or Catholic Janis: and there's a surprising amount of hoops to jump through there Janis: gutting Jimmy: 💔 about that an' all Jimmy: tah for being a pair of heathens mum and dad Janis: you could get confirmed but they'll 👀 you for being a right weirdo from the off Janis: no one JOINS Catholicism by choice, you're born to it and run away 😱 Jimmy: brb gonna have my quick 😭 before you get here Janis: Baby Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: [showing up finally and pretending you checking his face for 😭 and wiping 'em away like 'you can calm down now'] Jimmy: [pretending that you're checking her for bits of paint she missed behind her ears and everywhere but we know you just wanna touch her face and hair always] Janis: [the standard get off moment but loling and loving it secretly] Jimmy: [just leaning on her and sighing dramatically like ugh what a day but it's more to annoy her and be close to her than an actual genuine fml because god forbid you're real about it] Janis: ['that bad, yeah?' and doing an even bigger dramatic sigh '#relatable, mate' we're all loving life lollollol] Jimmy: [when you're competitive af so you wanna do an even bigger sigh yourself but you can't because you've got that secret rib injury and it hurts to breathe in thanks so much Ian #gotta reclaim it from April and Steve] Janis: [simply must] Jimmy: [thank god yet again that 😒 is his default cos you gotta get on the swing for the #aesthetic of this q&a and that means she's gotta sit on you, suffer for your art boy] Janis: [definitely gonna notice though at some point you can't stop me lol] Jimmy: [she always notices things it's a blessing and a curse] Janis: [thank your mother and grandmother for that girl; getting up like ? 'did you actually get stampeded or was it garda?'] Jimmy: ['I get that you're my biggest fan but the q&a weren't planned for you' because especially can't answer that question moreso than any other] Janis: [frowns but as per makes more of a thing out of it so it's fake] Jimmy: [squish her face like she does to you like cheer up] Janis: ['I won't turn it into a game, you can just tell me' 'cos we all remember truth or dare and how well that went] Jimmy: [shrugs 'being a northern 45 has it's downs on top of the massive upsides' when you're acting like you're 👴 and did it by falling or coughing too hard from 🚬 either of which could've happened but didn't] Janis: [🙄 'so you're alright then?'] Jimmy: ['it ain't part of the job for you to worry about me'] Janis: [shrugs like give a shit, boy 'not an answer also, not sneaky'] Jimmy: ['I know how to fake it, that's the only answer you need to hear'] Janis: [😒] Jimmy: [goes to check on Bobby and Twix like look how fine I am bye] Janis: [just chilling on the bench like you're so unphased but clearly not and he's clearly not fine otherwise he wouldn't have needed to fake it at all if it was nbd] Jimmy: [Twix jumping up him cos she's so full of love and he's just in casual agony like this is fine] Janis: [just shooting up like nope and coming over to distract Twix and throw her ball for her] Jimmy: [nhs direct be like DON'T smoke so of course that's what he's gonna do, when it's a habit and you don't think about how much it's gonna hurt but you've committed yourself to the 🚬 now] Janis: [just gesturing like lemme share that when you can see the wincing so at least he can only have half] Jimmy: [blatantly knows what she's doing and why but letting it happen cos ouch] Janis: [just doing overtime on that cig lmao] Jimmy: [just giving her a look like calm down as if you remotely have followed your own advice there] Janis: ['never know where the fans are hiding' looking 'round the park as if anyone is about 'cept families and tweens] Jimmy: ['You already looked hot, no need to go overboard'] Janis: ['what's your excuse then?'] Jimmy: ['For what?' you know perfectly well boyy] Janis: [a look that says as much 'you know'] Jimmy: [shakes his head like no I don't] Janis: ['you just want me to say it' tapping her head like not thick] Jimmy: ['so go on'] Janis: ['will you let me help you out if I do? I could walk the dog for you, at least'] Jimmy: [I've said before you can have her' gestures like take that dog away please and thank] Janis: [gestures at Bobby who's probably loving upon her like case in point] Jimmy: [shrugs like he'll get over it] Janis: ['she won't' 💔] Jimmy: [🎻 mime] Janis: [shakes head] Jimmy: [🙄] Janis: ['what did you dad say, like?'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you're trying to work out how up for committing crimes he is, you being underage and all, be a better shout if you faked it as yummy mummy though'] Janis: [tuts, 'runs in the family then'] Jimmy: [shakes his head really OTT because he likes his women 👵 'one of a kind, me'] Janis: [flexes muscle IRL] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [going back to the swing] Jimmy: [pushing her, don't hurt yourself boy] Janis: [just enjoying this but thinking the same, peeping back at him occasionally] Jimmy: [just looking at her like I'm alright cos downplaying it 5ever] Janis: ['alright, you're well hard, we get it'] Jimmy: ['I'm just such a lad, nowt I can do about it, like'] Janis: ['gift and a curse, sure'] Jimmy: [holds the swing to keep it still for a sec 'you alright?' cos even though he's only pushing her gently gotta take the piss that she might 🤢 cos so hungover] Janis: [shakes her head, dramatically 'I'm off the rails, babe and you're meant to be ride or die and you're not telling me nothing' big pout] Jimmy: [comes round the front of the swing so he can look at her dramatically like he's so OTT sorry and forlorn 'making me get on my knees'd be a bit cruel, but name owt else, baby'] Janis: ['yeah, don't' look like you better not with this mystery injury, boy 'tell me what the gameplan is, how are we doing this, how are we getting back at her for this?'] Jimmy: [sits on the swing next to her and is thinking like a winnie because hasn't had chance to even consider any of that with everything else that's going on] Janis: [nods like exactly 'obviously we wanted to get in trouble but that doesn't mean she gets away with being a snitch'] Jimmy: [nods back cos yeah fuck her 'what does she care about?'] Janis: [shrugs 'fuck all but controlling her calories and her minions'] Jimmy: ['Alright, how can we take the control off her?'] Janis: ['if you've still got your job, start melting butter into her coffees' 😏 but also seriously thinking 'not hard to get that lot having an argument...you reckon you could get her chatting shit on them to you? that'd work, love their #receipts, like'] Jimmy: [gets his phone out like let's see and gestures for her to come here even though they are only a swing apart anyway #blatant] Janis: [leaning over his shoulder like 👀] Jimmy: [imagine having to try and chat to Mia, good lord] Janis: [and god knows how you're gonna have to play this to get decent fallout fuel from her, she's not an idiot] Jimmy: [yeah we should say it doesn't work because realistically wouldn't and he'd be so fuming that he hasn't been able to do it] Janis: ['back to the drawing board' and back to her swing to ponder] Jimmy: [😒 af and such a frustrated sigh which is then like OUCH but trying not to show that 'What about that co-worker of mine you were proper willing to throw under the bus and reckon is so well fit?' Hey Pete hey] Janis: [instincitvely reaching to squeeze his hand like hey but then Pete gets mentioned and you casually have to drop it like a hot potato without being that obvious lol 'Does Mia reckon he's well fit enough too?' like I've not been there 'she harass him and all, like?'] Jimmy: ['You said none of 'em have got high standards, what were it, no BO and basic grasp of how to put words together?' shrugs and looks at her like yeah well I'm not trying to say it's a good idea just an idea and another sigh that you can't help because you hate that she cares about Pete and you're reading too much into what that means] Janis: ['might work, might be a bit weird to put across to him though' 'cos can you imagine, like hello, us again... 'she was pretty pissed off when we gatecrashed her sleepover, it'd be worse than community service but we could do more of that? get them on side so she looks as mental as she is, like'] Jimmy: ['Alright' because that's a much better and easier idea you have to admit boy] Janis: ['yeah?' makes a face 'cos what did you just sign yourself up for, you cannot stand these girls lmao] Jimmy: ['I just said it were, must be' because this is all so casual and fine] Janis: ['Remember when we couldn't do a school project with the bitch? Imagine what they're like with no parameters or focus...' rolls eyes like Lord help us all 'definitely gonna be Oscar-winning fakery'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby, it's what Mia's owed, keep that in your head and you'll rise to the challenge, right piece of piss'] Janis: ['she's not my muse, fuck off' but kicking him in a bants manner with your swingy feet] Jimmy: [raises an eyebrow like oh isn't she and is 😏 'I'll keep that to myself, case it fucks with your master plan, don't worry'] Janis: [stops his swing abruptly by yanking on the chain like how dare you 'arsehole' 😒] Jimmy: [OTT like OW even though he's as fine as he's been this whole time] Janis: [when you then have to stop yourself now to check like oh no, so then you're even more 😒 'don't do that!'] Jimmy: [holds his hands up like soz but his 👀s genuinely are we know 'you know I didn't mean owt, be my mate again'] Janis: [standing inbetween his legs and tilting his chin up with your index finger so he's gotta look at you, as if you can work out what happened to him just by staring into his 👀 really hard] Jimmy: [some amazing eye contact as per and hitting her with a 'what?' even though you know cos you always know] Janis: ['we can be mates' like okay do you wanna be any closer though] Jimmy: ['good' likewise not moving like boy if you lean in right now I'm gonna kill you] Janis: [when there's nowhere to hide but you also cannot be the first to break, torn much] Jimmy: [at least we can have Twix or Bobby or both interrupt as he's just moving her hair out of her face/needlessly touching her yet again but before he does or says something we're not ready for because seriously about to here] Janis: [this is true, you aren't alone so you can't have a total bench moment here] Jimmy: [and you defs can't be revealing your secrets or feels rn thank you sir] Janis: [just turning so fast and acting like that never happened like oh hi Twix whilst he deals with Bobby] Jimmy: [do them big brother duties because he can't know you're hurt so you gotta fake it even more] Janis: [the joys] Jimmy: [he's gonna have a ball cleaning up and working ILY Ian you're a star] Janis: [make that punishment even more punishing, we see you] Jimmy: [I also like to imagine his phone going off throughout like you better not be with that girl, try and stop me bitch] Janis: [likewise 'cos you've done a bunk so they're like where are you, you have to go community service blah blah blah] Jimmy: [sharing a look but not a LOOK like] Janis: [actual solidarity, like y'all have no idea yet] Jimmy: [Taking a selfie with Twix and Bobby to send to him like fuck you Ian I'm doing your jobs and then letting Bobby take some cos mini me] Janis: [can't help but smiling 'cos that's cute] Jimmy: [takes her phone to take a coupley selfie so she doesn't feel left out and no other reason] Janis: ['won't tag you, like'[ Jimmy: ['tag Jamie'] Janis: [lols 'start framing him now, alright'] Jimmy: [a genuine smile] Janis: ['gonna look insane when everyone realizes you were never here the whole time but I'll cope'] Jimmy: ['gutted that Bruce Willis beat us to that plot twist' and such a pouty face] Janis: [squishing it forever like 😏] Jimmy: [leaning on her like I'M SO SAD THO] Janis: ['how can I cheer you up?'] Jimmy: [looking around like we could make a run for it and start a new life, as if he's capable of running rn or ever] Janis: ['my bags are packed, like'] Jimmy: [gestures like come on then but is looking at Bobby and Twix like] Janis: [looks at 'em as well and shrugs like yep 'easier leaving kids that are yours, init'] Jimmy: ['obvs' but now he's thinking about his mum so is actually sad not fake sad #awks] Janis: [is thinking about Drew and Edie so we're all having a lil moment here] Jimmy: [drags her over to the slide like go on, cos he'd die if he had a go so can't] Janis: [looking at Bobby then back at him like 'got your duties mixed up' but obvs has a go not gonna be a spoilsport] Jimmy: [then Bobby has a go and then Twix wants a go so you gotta go again girl] Janis: [like a babby] Jimmy: [you know he's getting all the adorable pics] Janis: [putting Twix on Bobby's lap at the top of the slide 'cos she's a pup so small] Jimmy: [he's falling in love again y'all] Janis: [put twix in a baby swing, that would be hilarious] Jimmy: [they gotta so he can be 😏 instead of 😍 because you're not kissing her rn boy I forbid it] Janis: [there's just no fake rn and we all know it] Jimmy: [he doesn't have it in him rn despite what he said] Janis: [mhmm, we won't be infiltrating the flat whites any time soon lmao] Jimmy: [gotta give that more than a hot sec but I do think at some point they should run into Asia and her sisters again for the lol because] Janis: [that would be good 'cos the mood that day lolllll] Jimmy: [they can get Bobby in on the fake niceness by bribing him or something lol] Janis: [#playdate!] Jimmy: [exactly dr phil] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [should probably get that kid and dog back so come and chill at his gaff again girl] Janis: [your parents will be delighted hahahaha suck it lads] Jimmy: [hooray for Ian being at work so you don't actually have to see him though] Janis: [that's a blessing] Jimmy: [make tea and food for everyone Jimothy we know that's your life] Janis: don't need to tell you how to make it Janis: handy Jimmy: You gonna give me a hand though? Jimmy: I get that there's no promise of an apron but you already look 🥇 we've covered that Janis: and run the risk of you thinking I'm not a spoilt brat? 🤔 Janis: I guess I could Janis: as you're full of compliments as currency today Jimmy: 🤞 they won't take your 🐴 away for mucking in like the common lads and lasses do, rich girl Janis: Better not Janis: love mucking out SO much Janis: [does come to help like bonjour] Jimmy: and it would muck up the stable boy fantasy before we've had a go at it 💔 Janis: [lols] Janis: that's exactly what your accent is Jimmy: [says something like a cliche stable boy would idk I'm not a horse girl] Janis: [reminds me of that classic book baby mama was in with game of thrones, though he's like gameskeeper or whatever the fuck anyway, loling harder and fake swooning] Jimmy: [when you pretend to catch her fainting, shameless touching even if it hurts you is your real ultimate kink boy] Janis: [the tea, saying something stereotypically posh in a stereotypically posh voice to break the tension that is just always there now] Jimmy: [does the posh little finger thing while drinking his and loling] Janis: [making nerd glasses with her fingers at him like 😏] Jimmy: ['Oi, be nice to me' making a face like I'm so injured excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you gone shy or you gonna show me?' gestures like kit off boy] Jimmy: [is awks af obvs because we know it's bad but does take off his top because can't admit it #challengealwaysaccepted] Janis: [breathing in through her teeth like ouch and really gently touching them, like barely, speaking just as softly 'you should take an ice bath, it'd take down this swelling'] Jimmy: ['always trying to get me in the bath, you' but his voice is as soft as hers is 'but no pictures this time, a cute filter ain't gonna make this look goals'] Janis: ['Who could blame me' but said more as a throwaway comment just to keep this feeling normal and not like you're worried about him in any way nope, a look like obviously, who am I? before moving him, gently, out the way 'I'll finish up here, yeah'] Jimmy: [a shrug like I can do it because god forbid you actually take it easy lad] Janis: ['I can make-' (fill in the blank of whatever he's feeding Bobby, lol fish fingers or whatever we know the vibe here) 'if you don't wanna get in without me, wait, like'] Jimmy: ['Calm down, no dickhead's ready for how wife goals you are' and some fake 😍 'if you're that about trying to work your magic work out how we're gonna fill the tub with the one ice tray, what would your mate Jesus do?'] Janis: [less fake 🙄 back 'fine, I'll go buy a couple bags, prepare yourself' and chucking her shoes and whatnot back on like brb, least you don't live in the middle of nowhere] Jimmy: [irl 👍] Janis: won't let you 🥶 Jimmy: not how you wanna 💀💀💀? Jimmy: I get it, nowt massively 😎🚬 about that Janis: In terms of murder, pretty good idea but nah Janis: I've done 'em before so I'm not 🙀 Jimmy: knew you had loads of bodies in your freezer Jimmy: bit rude to make me think our 💀💀💀 pact were the first Jimmy: bit ruder that you never went through with your end all the other times Janis: just waiting to meet the one, babes Janis: 🤷 can't be killing myself for every lad that comes through Jimmy: proper heartbreaker you Jimmy: knew that an' all Janis: You won't get chance to tweet that Janis: s'fine Janis: 🙊🙉🙈 Jimmy: didn't break none of my fingers Janis: you're really gonna do it whilst I'm out running errands? Janis: ungrateful Jimmy: stop begging, I'll be a good boy Jimmy: for a bit Janis: It's you with the kink for being told what to do, apparently Janis: stop complaining Jimmy: don't sound like me that Jimmy: ray of fucking ☀ or nowt Janis: wrong chat then Janis: my bad Jimmy: sort it out, girl Janis: be more memorable, boy Jimmy: 💀💀💀 you too quick if I were Janis: exactly Janis: letdown no. ??? Jimmy: piss off Janis: Calm down Janis: can't be letdown by something that ain't real Janis: only have myself to blame then and not about that Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: ugh Jimmy: It's a hard life, Jasmine Jimmy: crack on, we don't have all day Janis: excuse me Janis: as long as you do it within the first three days, it'll still work Janis: and you're on chef duties so you shut up and concentrate Jimmy: I can't concentrate if you're gonna chat to me like that Jimmy: 😍🤤🤤😍 Janis: blame the burning on me then Janis: we all know you're just 🥉 Jimmy: Oi, I'll be a top wife Jimmy: know how to take a punch and everything Janis: Shh Janis: busy Jimmy: 💔 Janis: Meant to be helping, so let me Jimmy: why you trying to make me 😭 then? that won't help Jimmy: bloody hurt if owt Janis: Obviously not Janis: you know I'm not good at words, it's not a surprise Jimmy: duh it's the only thing we've got in common Janis: is it cheering you to make me try and fail then? Janis: 'cos have at it but you will end up 😭 by the end of t Jimmy: I just Jimmy: wanna chat to someone who ain't 6 Jimmy: or a 🐕 Janis: 2/2 Janis: take that victory Jimmy: 🏆 Jimmy: there you go Janis: I will fill it with ice Jimmy: and a drink of your choice Jimmy: I 👀 you, pisshead Janis: just prepping myself for having to 👀 you in the tub again Jimmy: I can get in by myself, I were 👴 but 👻 me is in his prime, remember Jimmy: near as much an athlete as you at this rate Jimmy: 💪🥇 Janis: let's not get carried away Jimmy: spoilsport Jimmy: might wanna carry you about Janis: when you're recovered Jimmy: takes weeks 🤞 I'll be long gone Janis: about as reliable as 🙏 Janis: take from that whatever you want, heathen Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: or I'll just get another girlfriend who ain't as heavy as you Janis: fuck off Janis: I'm not heavy Jimmy: depends Janis: on how weak you are? yeah Jimmy: on who we're comparing you to Jimmy: but you can piss off, I'm not weak, I'm injured Janis: Know you're used to puppies and 6 year olds, obvs Jimmy: you're not the first lass I've lugged about, soz to melt your ❄ babe Janis: 💔 Janis: I'm not anorexic or otherwise as easily deluded, I know I'm skinny Jimmy: never said you weren't Jimmy: have said before that you're a 🦒 Janis: thanks Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need anything else whilst I'm here Jimmy: You're my nurse, you tell me Janis: get you some drugs Janis: don't take 'em all at once 💀💀💀 Jimmy: What if I promise to split 'em right down the middle? Janis: I'm not dying for you today Jimmy: Baby please Janis: Nah Janis: find some tiny girlfriend who'll need half the tabs Jimmy: been there, done that Janis: plenty more midgets either side of the sea Jimmy: I don't have time to go 🎣 but tah for that Janis: Busy busy Jimmy: hardworking kink ain't nowt but a curse 🎻 Janis: don't need to tell me Janis: I'm rich Janis: the less you see your missus and fam the better 🤤 Jimmy: wouldn't dream of telling you nowt of the sort, not very #goals that Janis: so needy 😏 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: so mean today you Janis: just today? Jimmy: not thick enough to start digging myself down into that big of an hole Jimmy: and obvs too weak any road so Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: more like it Janis: though implying I was gonna get pissy about it was a dick move that did not go unnoticed Jimmy: I said what I said Jimmy: there's nowt you don't get pissy about when that's what you wanna do Janis: Maybe you're just really fucking annoying Janis: that's more than a distinct possibility Jimmy: only maybe? Jimmy: 💕 Janis: So optimistic too Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: you need to get back on it, pisshead, that'll sort you out Janis: You like me better when I'm drunk Janis: spread that around Janis: though frankly, lil rapey is their type Jimmy: I don't like you however much you drink, not a paddy Janis: Try drinking some more yourself Janis: looking for common sense at the bottom of a bottle ain't a noble pursuit but you know Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: [a selfie of him posing with Ian's stash like oh hey] Janis: and you were gonna let me buy more Janis: who's the shit host now Jimmy: I never said you should buy owt Jimmy: you went off on your own #mission Janis: you'll be grateful later Jimmy: yeah 'cause that's how you like me, I know Janis: Don't you start #kinkassuming thank you Jimmy: no need to assume it, I've 🔓 it Jimmy: got the 🎟 Janis: 🤔 Janis: Must've been wasted Janis: as per Jimmy: Or I've got the wrong girlfriend Jimmy: might do Janis: It happens Janis: what's my name again Jimmy: what kind of fish do you wanna be? that'd help me out Jimmy: I've voted already Janis: 🦈 Jimmy: #fated Janis: if you said 🐬 I'd delete and block you Jimmy: I can't, that's Asia's Jimmy: nowt I can do when she's just SO SMART Janis: can't wait 'til some screaming kid covers her blowhole and suffocates her Jimmy: 😂 Janis: shame you ain't a starfish Janis: cut your legs off see if they grow back Jimmy: What am I then? Janis: one of those lurky bastards at the bottom of the ocean Janis: just been sitting there for 10000000s of years Jimmy: that's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me Jimmy: brb need to dry my eyes Janis: I know Janis: 💦💦 Jimmy: that what's taking you so long? Janis: yeah Janis: am I not allowed any privacy? Jimmy: You've heard 💀👑's stance on that Janis: you invited her over already? Janis: keen Jimmy: you wish, Jennifer Jimmy: can't have her around in my weakened state Janis: fuck off and stop being a baby Jimmy: you fuck off Janis: come get your stuff then Jimmy: you're alright Janis: it'll melt out here Jimmy: I get that I'm such a ☀ but outside ain't competing that hard Janis: Don't be awkward Jimmy: gotta teach the 🐕 fetch some time Janis: for fuck's sake Jimmy: What? Janis: I've got to go put it in your bath myself, have I Jimmy: You haven't gotta do nowt Janis: are you coming to get it? Jimmy: Am I on a ⏲? Janis: would you like me to work out how long it takes to melt a bag of ice Janis: like I said, awkward Jimmy: 🤓 Janis: I'm going to smack you upside the head with it in a second Jimmy: [comes to get it like go on then] Janis: [obviously will not lol, just shoving it at him like there you go] Jimmy: [takes it and walks off leaving her with Twix who has come like hey girl] Janis: [tryna get her in the house 'cos you were tryna leave on the low but Twix says no] Jimmy: [puts some ice in whatever bottle he's stolen off Ian and offers it to her like] Janis: ['only 'cos it'll get watered down now otherwise'] Jimmy: ['duh, that's the trick, then he dunno I've nicked it'] Janis: [🙄 @ Ian 'Amateur, I would know'] Jimmy: ['you ain't thick and northern' said over his shoulder as he's going upstairs to get in his ice bath with the stolen booze casually] Janis: [just downstairs like what am I meant to do now excuse me but definitely not going to ask] Janis: try not to go into shock or get hypothermia please Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: how long have I gotta sit here like a dickhead? Janis: do 5 minutes, if you can hack it Janis: no longer than 10 Jimmy: say when Janis: Get in and then I'll come in and supervise Janis: I'm not gonna accidentally kill you Jimmy: don't get none of this #drama with a bag of peas Jimmy: but alright Janis: it'll be more effective Janis: trust me Jimmy: if you've gotta say it, I probably shouldn't Jimmy: well suspicious Janis: it's not gonna be nice but it'll stop the damage getting worse and kickstart the healing Jimmy: 🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 Janis: yeah, that's why you're getting in before I come up Janis: I'll listen for the scream, like Jimmy: did you 👂 or do you want me to get out and back in? Janis: Okay Janis: so tough, I get it Janis: [comes up and puts her hand to his forehead to check his temp] Jimmy: [imagine his little face please just like fuck me this is #fun] Janis: [puts a timer on her phone and is looking for the biggest, softest towel for when he gets out] Jimmy: [when you're the most caring ever on the low] Janis: ['I'm sorry' and taking the drink from him] Jimmy: [a look like ? because not gonna try and talk atm] Janis: [gestures like for all of it, I don't know but then doesn't wanna be that bitch so sucks it up and actually says why 'I didn't mean to call you a baby'] Jimmy: [puts a finger to his lips like shut up it's fine] Janis: [shrugs an alright and sits down on the side of the bath] Jimmy: [splashes but so the water just comes up and doesn't actually touch her because not that rude and also he's too cold to do a really big splash movement] Janis: [reaching in, whey but not, to get his feet out 'cos apparently your toes will be most sensitive so they don't need to be under, neither do his hands, just rubbing some life back into them with said towel like there we go] Jimmy: [saying a sincere thanks with his 👀 but then having to look away because who ever looks after him #emotions] Janis: ['I'll make you a cuppa when you get out'] Jimmy: you just want one, I 👀 you Janis: [takes another swig from the bottle like yes, blatantly 😏] Jimmy: 😏 Janis: then you can get in bed for a bit Janis: can't get straight in a hot shower, though you wanna Jimmy: how many of these have you done? Janis: enough Janis: plus I do sports science and all that shit so Jimmy: take your 🏆 Janis: will when those bruises fade, like Janis: not jealous or nothing but it is a bit rude Jimmy: don't be, nobody does 'em like you, baby Janis: might have to tweet it Janis: don't want a repeat Jimmy: [cue flirty af tweets to distract her because we can't tell her what happened] Janis: [with that we can probably get you out, to your great relief] Jimmy: [help him like the 👴 he is, girl] Janis: [get him wrapped up in that towel and in his room asap] Jimmy: [you have to snuggle him it's basically the law] Janis: [would literally be rude not to, least you can do it and be rubbing his arms like just warming you up nothing else going on nope] Jimmy: [the amount of things I have to stop him from saying or doing rn, boy no] Janis: ['do you still own a hoodie? you need to wrap up warm'] Jimmy: [a lil lol but goes to get his warmest one cos wouldn't have had that out in april so she hasn't stolen it] Janis: [control your 😍 at his cute you've got a job to do 'do you want your tea now?'] Jimmy: [when you shake your head before you can stop yourself or do your trick of not answering a q because you just don't want her to go] Janis: [just patting the bed like get back in then] Jimmy: [does] Janis: [when you have to snuggle really hard for warmth also single bed moment again] Jimmy: [god bless, what makes it even better is knowing how fuming Ian would be but it's literally your fault sir, you've done this] Janis: [you did this bitch] Jimmy: [thanks for bringing them closer together hoe] Janis: [nice try, universe] Jimmy: ['Am I gonna die if I fall asleep?' from within the snuggle] Janis: [tiniest lol 'only if you also feel a sudden urge to take your clothes off too' accidentally saucy like 😳] Jimmy: ['well now you've told me not to, I obvs do' playing it like you're such a rebel but we know why you wanna] Janis: ['then I'd have to keep you awake, it's your choice'] Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: [closing his eyes like no looking 'cos literally can't handle it] Jimmy: [opening them again because 1. he's that dickhead but more importantly 2. he can give her a look like even if I fall asleep don't leave] Janis: ['you can go to sleep' in response 'but-' and not finishing that sentence] Jimmy: ['what?' because I have to every single time] Janis: [non-committal noises like idk doesn't matter forget it etc] Jimmy: ['go on' because can't and won't drop anything unless he wants to] Janis: [shrugs without smacking him in the face hopefully 'cos you are that close rn 'you don't have to'] Jimmy: [nods like alright like it's so casual but not breathing because it isn't even remotely casual bye] Janis: ['We could-' stopping to correct yourself to make it sound more fake as if we're even remotely believing that now '-I could make you feel even better, if you want'] Jimmy: ['I get it, you reckon you're a better nurse than me, eh?' throwback to that school trip moment and how hot it was 'crack on then, but nowt'll top that ice bath' such sarcasm, such wit] Janis: [smiles 'not that that's much to brag about, yeah' rolls her eyes and sighs like oh, if I must, as if she didn't suggest it, TOTALLY unprompted 'still my idea, that, so your turn for a good one again, when you're all healed, of course' doing the poor baby pout at him whilst sitting herself up and maneuvering VERY carefully so she's sat on top of him, facing away so he's looking at the back of her 'obviously, that shit about not poking bruises is true, but if we sort the rest of your muscles out, you'll feel less fucked in general' and starting a full-body-but-his-abdomen-area massage with his calves/feet and working her way up 'cos lord knows the boy is tense and she already has a decent idea of what she's doing here] Jimmy: [when that feels so good literally immediately that you have to take the piss because you can't cope 'what the fuck else are they teaching you in sports science, girl?' I can only imagine the kind of teacher they'd have for that so I'm loling] Janis: ['gutted you didn't take it now, yeah?' shaking her head like 😏 and moving up to the thighs] Jimmy: ['more inspiring than art by the looks of it, like, not that that's much to brag about either'] Janis: ['your stuff was alright' like casually bringing up that night like how much do we remember, we'll never know] Jimmy: [thank god she can't see him blushing rn 'you're a decent canvas' bringing up the paint fight because yolo and downplaying the rest of his art because thanks Ian for making him think he's not good at anything] Janis: [likewise but you are gonna have to turn 'round now 'cos you've run out of body lmao 'you too' then and now, obvs] Jimmy: [we all just dying here] Janis: [take a sec to compose yourself before turning 'cos now you're gonna be onto hands and that's like the most intimate somehow] Jimmy: [it seriously is though] Janis: [think it's 'cos you have to sit and face each other and hold hands in a sensual manner, at least he is laying down though so he could avoid the eye contact if he chose to] Jimmy: [I REFUSE to allow you to make eye contact during this sir] Janis: [awkward when it'll be shoulders after and you're gonna be so up in his face like hello, stay strong lads] Jimmy: [oh lord I'll just be screaming DON'T YOU DARE KISS the whole time] Janis: [hohaha this is just mean] Jimmy: [she'll have her work cut out though because nobody's carried this much tension in their body since teenage Tess Vickers] Janis: [since me honey] Jimmy: [the tea] Janis: [least you can really concentrate on doing a good job 'cos yeah wants to kiss him so bad[ Jimmy: [there's no denying what a good job she is doing though 🥇 legit] Janis: [fuck you Ian] Jimmy: [forever the mood] Janis: [though will be leaving before you get back, don't need you fucking up all this hard work tah] Jimmy: [bye felicia] Janis: [though not going anywhere really you'll have to deal] Jimmy: [we should say one of the flat whites are doing something so they can start their plan] Janis: [yeah, maybe Grace is forcing Mia or one of the others to have a party 'cos obvs she doesn't want everyone at Cali gaff really] Jimmy: [and she'd be hoping it'd stop everyone talking about Janis and their party but it sadly won't babe] Janis: [when y'all can't hang and we all know it] Jimmy: [I vote it's 💀#2 cos mad at her for bathgate tbh] Janis: [and she's probably got the most impressive house in a basic rich way so it's a plus to getting people to show] Jimmy: [agreed] Janis: [along with Mia obvs but we know the vibe, what a joy this will be lol] Jimmy: [I feel like Mia would never have parties at her house because such a daddy's girl and that's why you have minions] Jimmy: [at least you can kiss when you get there cos DYING to] Janis: [exactly, not gonna trash your own house, like, plus bet her mum is a cringe] Jimmy: [I just picture Regina's mum in mean girls basically lol] Janis: [tryna cry about your cheating mans with your daughter and her friends, no one needs that do they Mia, at least Ali would never lmao] Jimmy: [Ali's only cringe cos of how hot everyone thinks she is] Janis: [Mia probably does, secret gay] Jimmy: [oh girl] Janis: [will we ever know your damage truly lol] Jimmy: [we should probably figure it out one day so when we're famous everyone's not like wtf casually an Amber from Get Even situation on our hands] Janis: [true true, but sometimes people are in your life as a cunt and you don't consider why, esp as a teen so it's real that the characters don't know, even if we do] Jimmy: [yeah agreed the whole point is she knows everything about Grace and she knows barely anything about Mia because power moves] Janis: [keep them secrets] Jimmy: [it's that poor little rich girl stereotype and we all know it] Janis: [god bless, we have been distracted though, shall we skip as we are not letting anything happen now or?] Jimmy: [we can do because we very much know the vibe and like realistically they could show up to this function way early like even while the flat whites were all getting ready if they wanted because they have a plan to start] Janis: [oh yeah, like let us help you set up!!!!1 mega friendly so not suspect lol] Jimmy: [we all know they'd be ??? but still let them because Mia thinks she's so smart and in control] Janis: [this would be so painful and funny like try not to die holding in lols at them] Jimmy: [#bondingexperiences] Janis: [they should also be wearing more basic approved clothes, like not too wildly obvs but more girly for her, less alternative for him] Jimmy: [yasss and Grace can do her make up because she's actually good at it for all her other cringe so it would look good] Janis: [gotta get her on side too, keep your suspicions in the chat and not in front of your friends] Jimmy: [you're not touching her hair though, Jimmy would be devastated beyond belief] Janis: [we have to draw the line somewhere] Jimmy: [also Asia should have a new bf she's showing off for the lols] Janis: [what a delight, all the single flat whites crying in the club] Jimmy: [omg if he shows up early too and tries to make awkward #ladsladslads small talk with Jimothy the most unsocial egg in the world] Janis: [good idea ladeh] Janis: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: after I've done him Jimmy: can't be lasses first this once, soz Janis: getting on that well, are you? Jimmy: don't 😘 and tell, me Janis: Bullshit Janis: all you do 🗨❤📷📱 Jimmy: Alright, 'cause you untwisted my arm, I'll 🗨 Janis: You giving each other chinese burns? Janis: you wanted that peak homoerotic bullying moment Janis: so happy for you babes!!! 💖 Jimmy: I wish but I do reckon I proper LOVE him Jimmy: summer wedding 🤞 Janis: sending you colour-palettes as we speak OMG Janis: gonna have to let Asia down really gently or you'll all turn up at the altar by the sounds of 🙄🙄 Jimmy: You'll do it for me though, yeah? call it first duty as maid of honour Janis: take great pleasure when I have to stop playing dress up and nice, yeah Jimmy: let's swap, I'd be about playing dress up Janis: 😱😱😱 EWWW Janis: such a perv Jimmy: be more jealous that I'm prettier than you, babes Janis: you be more that you'd NEVER fit in this dress she's letting me borrow 😘 Jimmy: 😭😭😭😭 find me in the kitchen with your sister eating my feelings Janis: yeah you stay away from my sister creep Janis: focus on making Janis: Declan? Janis: Dave Janis: your bestie for the night/forever and ever 💖 Jimmy: fuck that, please come and rescue me Janis: alright Janis: as he's as bad as he looks Janis: just got to finish being tortured here without dropping that he was in my DMs a few ago, like Janis: when will she meet her 🤴 eh Jimmy: when she stops fucking 🐸? Jimmy: though he looks bit more like 🦎 Janis: More exotic? Janis: upgrade 🙌 Jimmy: more like he's shedding his skin about Jimmy: what did he 🗨 then? Janis: eurgh Janis: least you forgo'd the black for just one night Janis: asking me my skincare routine, obvs Janis: all adds up now Jimmy: 🙌 Jimmy: adds up that he's all over me, that's all any dickhead knows of your skincare routine Janis: You can't be taking credit for my skin now Janis: already feel like a barbie up here without you turning it Frankenstein Jimmy: Poor baby Jimmy: I can save you, just 💪 my way in, hang on Janis: Can hear the hysteria already Janis: if the octaves get any higher, only your dog gonna be able to understand 'em, like Jimmy: you're worth the risk to my one good ear 💕 Jimmy: [does bowl in and pull her away but not far because 👀🍿 like I need you to be with me soz] Janis: [Grace just like HER MAKEUP 'cos we know the lipstick is going everywhere] Jimmy: [soz not soz gals] Janis: [lowkey tryna make him leave 'cos this is girl's time 'cos that's always a thing like we all know you're just jelly and sad about your own lack of love ladies] Jimmy: [Mia like no boys and JJ just ignoring her so hard rn because only got 👀 for each other and it's not even fake] Janis: [cannot sacrifice him to this boy rn imagine the 'bants' good lord] Jimmy: [literally he could not be further from that #lad vibe he'd be so over it and tbh fuck you Mia we know you're the only one who actually cares if he stays] Janis: [tbh, just chilling on 💀#2 bed like you're abso besties rn] Jimmy: [god imagine her room, he'd feel so uncomfortable lowkey but we never showing it] Janis: [all white everything like no one spill anything christ] Jimmy: [I hope Grace drops some makeup like Sammi is always doing, my beloved clumsy babe] Janis: [you two try not to piss yourselves like] Jimmy: [when you have to turn it into a cough and that hurts you but at least it stops the lols] Janis: [asking if yous can smoke in here when you so clearly cannot lmao but an excuse for an actual break like brb, he clearly needs it] Jimmy: [run lads run] Janis: [a look when you're outside like Jesus fucking Christ before having the lols you've been holding back this whole time 'God, I actually NEED that cigarette, hurry up, like'] Jimmy: [100% shared and obvs he does hurry up and light hers because whipped and then his because likewise needed] Janis: [just discussing how pissed off Mia is already like lollollol] Jimmy: [and plotting how to piss her off more whilst getting the others on side] Janis: ['hope her birthday is soon, love to fuck that up' when you should know by rights but take no interest so do not lol] Jimmy: [checks her socials because there'd be a shit load of posts from last year and he'd be able to work out the date holds his phone up to her like] Janis: [🤔 then 😒 'nah fuck it, can't be around them that long' and 😏 on the exhale at him] Jimmy: ['And you can't do it without me' because still running with that narrative he'll be gone soon] Janis: ['I'd have time to audition replacements before then, come on'] Jimmy: [😒 that we're pretending is fake but isn't] Janis: [nudges him in the side with hers 'One and only, I remember'] Jimmy: [nudges her back like be careful with me even though she already is being] Janis: ['my delicate little baby' and cupping his cheeks instead of squashing 'em] Jimmy: [looks down at whatever outfit they've put her in 'dunno what I'm gonna call you'] Janis: ['but your list of J names is endless'] Jimmy: ['but those are for you, who the fuck is she?' gestures at the look like who would wear this but OTT because we know she looks good still really and we're not trying to slag her off] Janis: [looks down like yeah, ikr 'sadly their names don't all rhyme or begin with the same letter or something as appropriately cultish so' shrugs like who knows] Jimmy: [dramatic sigh/ exhale of smoke like what a let down] Janis: ['How many continents and virtues still up for grabs?'] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: [shakes head to self thinking on how many levels Grace is an inappropriate name for her 'Not Chastity, like, or Antarctica, both so not goals for the same reason'] Jimmy: ['Whatever the hottest country is, go with that one' when you're not even joking rn you just think she's that hot blatantly] Janis: [trying not to 😳 with limited success 'yeah, such a flex, could go with a vice for a name too but be a bit on the nose, I reckon'] Jimmy: 'Depends, probably don't choose gluttony or owt but' shrugs] Janis: ['Exactly, get sexier names or get out'] Jimmy: [looking over his shoulder like you can feel Mia lurking 'about time we got back in' even though that's the last thing either of them wants] Janis: [sighs not even a bit fake 'yeah' then doesn't move] Jimmy: [puts his arm around her waist like come on but doesn't move either] Janis: [puts hers around his neck 'but I just wanna be with you' and we're pretending that's fake but it's just tea] Jimmy: ['I won't leave you with 'em again' when you 100% mean that] Janis: ['Good' resting your head on his shoulder instead of moving] Jimmy: [stroking her hair nbd] Janis: [can't stay here forever lads, maybe people are actually starting to show up] Jimmy: [get back in lads and find you have a drink waiting because Mia is trying to be #fake nice too so draw the poison symbol on her arm with your fingertip and do an IRL 🤞 before downing it] Janis: [when you look for reactions with almost genuine concern she's such a snek then you down yours, cheersing at her from across the room] Jimmy: [kiss her for the romeo and juliet ref but also just cos you wanna] Janis: [we know the vibe, this could also be the party Mia bangs Pablo maybe? jussayin] Jimmy: [that's such a good idea actually because she's so mad that the squad are team jj and Asia's got a new bf and she's losing her control honey] Janis: [mhmm, that's what I thought, it's a fuck you in the bag, like] Jimmy: [I had the hilarious mental image of JJ doing whatever this era's equivalent of tiktok is with tall tammy like that's her thing™ cos Grace has youtube] Janis: [that's so funny lmao yes must] Jimmy: [hence Mia be fuming cos 💀#2 is the only one giving her the time of day rn] Janis: [truly the Lorraine of this situation] Jimmy: [and Grace is probably trying to get with someone Mia doesn't want her to because she's jealous of jj's love] Janis: [oh what a night] Jimmy: [such fun, but they should 'accidentally' fuck up the borrowed dress in some way by the end of this] Janis: [that's also an idea, plenty of ways that could happen, soz gal lol] Jimmy: [yeah they'll enjoy that and rich girl should have a heated indoor pool they can piss about with] Janis: [such a rich teen mood to jump in in your underwear, the other guests will, the flat whites just like nooooo] Jimmy: [Asia might but the rest of them would NEVER] Janis: [oh Asia, you fun loving gal] Jimmy: [get on that 🦎 bf in the pool like] Janis: [i'm loling, what other hijinks could happen] Jimmy: [I wish they could 'accidentally' push Mia in like oh soz we were playfighting and just happened to get in the way babes] Janis: [they should, 'cos then she'd also make them all go comfort her so it'd be like 1 point them but also 1 to her] Jimmy: [give jj a flat white break for a bit cos they'd all have to help her get ready all over again too] Janis: [exactly, oh how uncool of you, play it off girl, so extra] Jimmy: [if Jimmy chucked Janis in it'd be a different story, look listen and learn gal] Janis: [at least they didn't push Grace in, the actual meltdown of it all] Jimmy: [I could never, as much as she annoys me] Janis: [we all know Janis would but we're playing nice rn so no, hmm, they could commandeer her room and go through her shit lmao no shame, obvs pretending they're banging not just like 'scuse me nosy person coming through] Jimmy: [a nice throwback to school trip when they were meant to be punished but it was just fun] Janis: [exactly dr phil...bitch probably has a diary like be cliche about it] Jimmy: [take all the pics of that #goss in case you need it later, cos she'd know the most about Mia 💀 pact and all] Janis: [mhmm mhmm, you're obviously gonna find her binge stash but that's not news] Jimmy: [fatty boy gonna eat some of it though] Janis: [think Mia's helped herself lollll] Jimmy: [you're welcome for that little domestic ladies] Janis: [death pact drama, just sow all these seeds on the low] Jimmy: [just chucking her on the bed even though you're not meant to pick her up rn and tickling her/all that good messing about because you've GOTTA mess the bed up and no other reason] Janis: [we all know the show is getting put on as if people can see lowkey] Jimmy: [can't even blame them cos even if they shamelessly didn't want to, it's what they are so used to doing by now too] Janis: [we all know you do though and that ain't getting any easier lads] Jimmy: [tea] Janis: [like to think you're fresh out the pool now too 1. for max hotness 2. so her bed is soaked lol thanks] Jimmy: [100% approved] Janis: [just pondering what else can be done and said...Harry is probably here, 'cos of the Mia of it all, do we wanna do anything with that?] Jimmy: [she would 100% invite him so yeah we definitely should do something but what? hmmmm] Janis: [we could have Mia forcing a convo moment 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: [that's real because she so would] Janis: [then it's gonna be awkward between them 'cos he's gonna be mad and she'll wanna die] Jimmy: [cheers for making tomorrow's community service even more fun Mia] Janis: [just getting y'all out of that convo as fast as you can without giving Mia too much satisfaction with it, going to the garden to smoke after but being like 'I'll leave you to it'] Jimmy: [so awkward so moody] Janis: [always ending up hiding in a bathroom or spare room or some bullshit so you can have a moment] Jimmy: [at least it would be a massive house so she can] Janis: soz Jimmy: yeah I know Janis: everyone at this party is a cunt Janis: not surprising, I know Jimmy: hang on, gonna take ages for me to @ them all Janis: you gonna turn on me then Jimmy: why would I give her owt she wants? Janis: I'm not gonna dob you in to her, like Jimmy: you wanna have a scrap? Janis: Not with you Jimmy: leave it out then Janis: Alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: take your own advice yeah Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: don't need to do a passive-aggressive 👍 just shh Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: that better? Janis: 👍👍👍👍 Janis: that much better Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: if you've got nothing nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Jimmy: how about you tell me how you reckoned this were gonna go and I'll fake the proper 🗨 for you Janis: Like I said, you don't need to say anything Janis: fake or otherwise Janis: I was just saying what I had to Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: Okay, come find me when you wanna or whatever Jimmy: come find me when you need owt Janis: Fine Jimmy: ✔ Janis: If I could undo it, I would Janis: I know it makes this shit needlessly more difficult Jimmy: don't worry, this is my piss easy job Janis: easier than serving them lattes? Jimmy: make it more obvious that you've never had to Janis: At least you don't have to spend this long fully focused on them at CG though Janis: is what I mean Jimmy: I ain't focused on 'em now Janis: only for as long as you can make a 🚬 last Jimmy: nah, they don't matter that much, is what I mean Jimmy: it's just bollocks Janis: yeah Janis: but we're still doing it Janis: so it must matter a bit Jimmy: the reasons I'm doing this is nowt to do with any of them Janis: I know the main reason Janis: but we don't need to be here for that Jimmy: the main reason were not making my life any harder, her dobbing us in has done that, so yeah, we do Janis: Yeah, it's payback Janis: so it is about her Janis: her getting some of her bullshit back won't unfuck what she's already done but might make us feel better about it Jimmy: it's about us, you just said it Jimmy: feeling better Janis: Alright Janis: it doesn't matter either way to me how you slice it Jimmy: if it doesn't matter, why are we 🗨 about it? Janis: I was asking how you found it easy Jimmy: Alright Janis: You didn't exactly answer but yeah Jimmy: you dunno 'cause you dunno nowt about me or what my life's like, there's your answer Janis: It's not that deep Janis: asking how partying with them could be easier than serving them isn't a crazy question Janis: if you don't want to answer, don't, it's fine Jimmy: like I said, if you'd ever done it you'd get that it's a bollocks question Janis: Well you know I haven't Jimmy: she ain't gonna treat me how she does there, she can't unless I were here to hand round the drinks Janis: she's a cunt Janis: I'm aware Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: she's incapable of not treating people like shit, no matter who you are to her Janis: she has them, her best friends, running 'round after her as much as she does you whenever she comes in Janis: that's what she is, I know that Jimmy: me an' all Janis: yeah, so no need to talk to me like I'm thick just 'cos I've never had to clean up after her Janis: known and been around the bitch much longer, I've had my fair share, don't worry Jimmy: I don't wanna talk about her, that's what I'm trying to get into your head Janis: We're at her party, we're doing this whole thing Janis: what else could we talk about Jimmy: nowt obvs Janis: right Jimmy: 🔈 Janis: 👍 loud and clear Jimmy: [come back in and get more drinks boy you can't 🚬 forever] Janis: [just hiding forever though] Jimmy: ? Janis: yes? Jimmy: I've got you a drink, where do you want it? Janis: Eh Janis: I'll come down Jimmy: leave all that enthusiasm up there, can't even handle how #extra that response were, my dear Janis: I'll be suitably gracious by the time I arrive, don't worry Jimmy: weren't about to lose any sleep Janis: sure, what's another fight at another party Janis: not counterintuitive at all Jimmy: I'm not gonna fight with you Jimmy: just come here Janis: Maybe I don't feel like not fighting Jimmy: I'm a dickhead, don't mean you've gotta be an' all Janis: you definitely don't get to own being a dickhead, tah very much Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you, alright? Janis: [comes to get her drink in response] Jimmy: [hugs her in response because she knows that's a thing he genuinely does lately not a fake thing like kissing her or something would be] Janis: [hugs back of course] Jimmy: [gets her to dance with him because what better way to pretend that there's nobody else here just you two] Janis: ['mates?' when you'd have to whisper that in his ear and it's low-key the only reason you did it 'cos any excuse to be unreasonably close] Jimmy: [whispers back 'best mates' but it's said in such a flirty manner obvs] Janis: [😏 but 😍 on the low 'cos we can pretend they fake thanks party people, holds her pinky out like promise] Jimmy: [does promise of course and then just holding her hand doing some of the massage stuff from earlier on it so once again she knows it's real but it looks just like they being saucy and fake] Janis: ['I wish we were still in your bed' when you can just say it 'cos it sounds right but y'all don't even know] Jimmy: ['we can go back to mine whenever you're ready' because they have community service together in the AM anyway so it's believable that she would just stay because such a goals couple who are together 24 7 clearly] Janis: ['good' but your face on the low is like yeah right/I wish 'cos Ian hates you] Jimmy: [when you read her mind so you cup that adorable little face in your hands and you're like 'my dad's nowt to worry about' because you genuinely don't give a fuck but luckily it also sounds very romeo and juliet fuck our parents vibes so #goals] Janis: ['I don't care if you don't, but are you sure?' when you can just say what you mean and have it fit, this is so useful lmao] Jimmy: ['I just wanna be with you' because she literally said it earlier and meant it so I have to because #same] Janis: [soz gonna make out with you] Jimmy: [not soz because clearly so into it] Janis: [blurred lines remix] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [so glad your plan backfired, Mia] Jimmy: [I hope you and Harry both see this cos fuck y'all] Janis: [she's always watching lmao] Jimmy: [enjoy their love bitch] Janis: [the levels of get a room they are at rn has never been higher] Jimmy: [god bless, love that for you especially because as far as everyone knows you literally did get a room earlier but you were just snooping lol] Janis: [just like they insatiable, which is true but not yet lol Jimmy: [you know nobody's ever been that into any of the flat whites, sucks to suck ladies] Janis: [when parties make you sad 'cos people being 😍] Jimmy: [the realest] Janis: [you two gonna have to tone it down 'fore you alienate them totally rn] Jimmy: [I'm trying to think what else they could do to annoy Mia/win the rest over within this party setting] Janis: [hmm maybe some kind of game moment or similar vibe where they can just be really cute about each other with their answers so the rest are like awh idk] Jimmy: [yeah drinking games are always real and they could do some cute teamwork too but also pick a flat white to team up with maybe so Mia will be fuming] Janis: [basically be up for a laugh 'cos Mia is NEVER and discourages it like no, that's lame etc] Jimmy: [exactly they'd be living their best lives, except 💀#2] Jimmy: [they gonna win you over too though girl cos nothing will annoy Mia more] Janis: [gotta get her nearest and dearest, like but gonna have to play the long game with that one] Jimmy: [when he's gonna end up having fun even though he hates everyone but Janis highkey] Janis: [the mood] Jimmy: [you deserve it boy after all that bullshit with Ian and the like] Janis: [community service in the AM baby] Jimmy: [at least they're not drunk af this time so they won't have to do it really hungover] Janis: [and it's gonna lowkey be fun we know anyway even if they don't yet] Jimmy: [you're gonna love it lads] Janis: [again, they have not thought your punishment through here and I'm about it] Jimmy: [how real is that though, oh adults] Janis: [at least Grace can tell Cali she's at his and they will be suitably fuming, get the parental hate rolling on both sides] Jimmy: [yeah we gotta] Janis: [like you don't know safer than what her actual plan was, 'scuse you] Jimmy: [Yeah Grace would be happy that she's there like thank god] Janis: [least you're not dead vibes] Jimmy: [or gone forever who knows where] Janis: [like tomorrow night is anyone's guess lads] Jimmy: [just stay with him always girl we know you wanna] Janis: [obvs but how long can you fake stay with someone hmm] Jimmy: [how long can you guys share a bed and nothing happens more like lol] Janis: [exactly dr phil, can't exactly be on his sofa can you] Jimmy: [I was thinking for tonight we could cockblock them by saying Bobby and Twix are in his bed asleep when they get back cos miss him #adorable so he wakes up when they come in and Jimmy has to go sleep with him in his room because we all know if they share a bed rn we won't be able to stop something real happening even if that's only a kiss or something] Janis: [I accept that, we can always do online messages then too so] Jimmy: [soz about the levels of frustration though lads] Janis: [we're just cockblocking 'til it's silly we all know it] Jimmy: [you've brought this on yourselves, just say how you really feel or do something undeniable when you're alone] Janis: [my boo say say it you cowards] Jimmy: [I do, I'm mad which makes no sense because fake dating is my fave and that ends it junie you silly goose] Janis: [we don't/won't push it 'til it makes no sense lol, but we can move it to a place of 'we can just be fuck buddies and carry on the fake' as if that's not even more of a headfuck guys] Jimmy: [god bless, that'll be fun and games so we simply must make that more of a thing than we did before] Janis: ['cos it's a way to admit some shit, like yeah, obvs this chemistry is real but still be like, we don't LIKE each other though] Jimmy: [a very them thing to do we all know it] Janis: [see 'let's be mates' baby steps] Jimmy: [we are sneaky gals and I'm about it] Janis: [still, not tonight sweaties] Jimmy: [we could maybe have something happen at the rave/festival whichever that we've still gotta do though] Janis: [that is a good idea, and maybe they invite the flat whites to that so they have their tent near each other whatever and it's another thing Mia would HATE] Jimmy: [yaaaaas] Janis: [hohaha its a plan, you probably can leave this party now though and skip] Jimmy: [going hard because your tent is next to theirs but then it's less and less about that we 👀 you, but yeah for now you can go lads and have your night not end at all like how you want because we're rude like that] Janis: [shameless, but Imma just say night 'cos see above lol] Janis: 🛏💤 Jimmy: chuck the 🐕 out if it does your head in Janis: she's alright Janis: passed out ages ago Jimmy: bit of a lightweight Janis: just my magic touch, like Jimmy: give her a massage an' all? Jimmy: know how to make a lad feel special you 💔 Janis: 💔 Janis: nah, if you'd settle for head pats my life would be easier but here we are Jimmy: I've never said I wouldn't Jimmy: be proper goals any road, they don't want a lad, they want a pet Jimmy: 🐸 or 🦎 Janis: 😏 Janis: well I'm with PETA on this one Janis: rather it was a lad than some totally defenseless creature, like Jimmy: must be pissed if you're admitting how 💪🏆 I am Janis: Hardly Janis: but every lad they ever get their hands on at least gets a few punches in themselves Janis: if the 😭💔 is anything to go by, even if you halved it to account for dramatics Jimmy: must be 💕 then Janis: Clearly Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what were it you said, if you ain't got nowt nice to say, don't emoji at me, dickhead Janis: you wouldn't complain if it were a 💘 Jimmy: so go on Janis: 🖤😎🥇 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: try harder Janis: those are your favourites, like Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: Alright? Janis: I'll take it Jimmy: [sends her a pic of Bobby asleep all over him in this tiny bed like an adorable sos] Janis: Aww Janis: crazy night here too, obvs Jimmy: if you had socks on you'd wake up without 'em Jimmy: hardened criminal that 🐕 Janis: Sounds like a dubious cover for some #kinkunlocked behaviour tbh Janis: but I'll take your word for it Janis: even if she looks like an 😇 Jimmy: might be one of hers but I've 👀 and 🖐 your feet and you're alright, tah Janis: When you broke 'em, you mean Janis: hm Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: it were your own fault Janis: You wanna go to bed on an argument then, alright Jimmy: you know I don't Janis: yeah Janis: feel a bit rude cussing you out when I know there's a kid like 😴 on your shoulder anyway Jimmy: you can always go through my shit if you're well mardy at me Jimmy: my diary's hidden proper Janis: 😏 Janis: wouldn't even be surprised if you had a diary Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know I can't read or write, Jenna Janis: picture book then Janis: even artier Jimmy: 🥔 prints Jimmy: get me in a northern gallery that Janis: don't be pissing about with 🥔 Janis: sacrilege Jimmy: coal then Janis: long as you keep it off your face Janis: know what you're like Jimmy: Oi Janis: I should be oing you Jimmy: we're playing nice, you agreed Janis: Don't you think I'm being nice? Jimmy: Don't make me come in there Janis: Or what Jimmy: I'll sort you out, girl Jimmy: bed time or nah Janis: yeah right Jimmy: Challenge accepted Jimmy: keep going, see if I don't Janis: You've never sorted me out before Janis: no reason to be 🙀 that tonight is any different Jimmy: [cue him going in for the flirtiest but quietest playfight they've EVER had because I have to] Janis: [what a moment bye] Jimmy: [the TENSION I cannot] Janis: [we dying boys] Jimmy: [like what are you gonna do now boy just leave like it never happened or are you gonna try and stay? I'd love to know] Janis: [lmao please tell] Jimmy: [can we let him or is that too dangerous oh the dilemma] Janis: you have slept with each other before like that but is either of you that sleepy rn hmm] Jimmy: [we know they're not tired we 👀 you] Janis: [mhmm, I'm like bitch don't you ask him to stay either] Jimmy: [I'll make him go back, we must be strong] Janis: [okay hehe] Jimmy: [unless something did happen and then it makes community service awkward oh ho] Janis: [that's an idea] Jimmy: [like if one of them freaks out somehow how they do and we've done before in other situations idk] Janis: [yeah, or is shamelessly ignoring lowkey tomorrow like that never happened, either one of them could, like] Jimmy: [yeah because y'all ain't even drunk so you can't use the don't remember excuse] Janis: [we all know you remember and there was no pretense of having a phone nearby or whatever] Jimmy: [the question is how far are we gonna let them go and who's taking the plunge] Janis: [hmm, we can save all the way for later, I think he should 'cos blatantly egging him like the whole time they're 'fighting' it's not subtext] Jimmy: [I agree with that and he's not gonna back down because the whole challenge and 'you've never sorted me out before' comment so he's clearly gotta in all the ways Harry has never] Janis: [Exactly, we know what she was saying there and so do they] Jimmy: [when he makes you feel amazing and then leaves like a sexy 👻 because the flimsy excuse of hearing someone and thinking your brother is awake again or something] Janis: [who's ignoring who tomorrow or are we both, what's the vibe of it] Jimmy: [I feel like he should ignore her because he did it so how real but how shady] Janis: [I vibe, then she can be mad and initiate the awkward convo/argument like 'scuse me] Jimmy: [yeah because she probably didn't get chance to do much to him because he was on a #mission with a point to prove so she's probably thinking it's a mmfd to be continued kind of situation like IOU boy and then he's so rude] Janis: [that's a plan, will post this one now though]

[livelovelaug-h]

Irreplaceable you pt 2

Sam x reader

Warnings- cancer: sad times. Angst. :(( Grab the tissues still.

"So I decided to cut out gluten. That was like the first thing that I did. I would just like wake up in the morning and feel like totally fatigued. Just like, "eh."

You laugh. This could be good. Next girl.

"You know, um his job he doesn't really like talking about it." She laughs. ?

Next girl. "You know what's funny I have a cat named Sam."

"oh okay."

"yeah." Nope. "Thank you."

You're writing down on some papers a few notes notes: too slutty. Too needy. Too freaky. Too neurotic.

Next girl.

"So it says on your online profile you were Phi Beta Kappa?" You ask.

"I had no life in college." You laugh.

"And now you're a researcher for the National Institute of Health?"

"Yes. Still have no life. I'm just... I'm just tired of being alone. I'm where I want to be career-wise, and I really would like to settle down and have a family."

She adds: "sorry, Natural caretaker. Also overbearing neurotic."

"I'm the same way." You say. "Um... Let's set up a date."

"Okay. Um, just... If I could just be honest with you, um, I just don't quite understand why a man would send his assistant to pre-interview women. I just... I don't get it. "

"Yeah, um... Here's the deal." She could tell by your face.

"Sally! Please don't hold it against him!" She starts walking away.

"This is the craziest thing like ever!"

You started picking up the papers to go catch the girl but you ran into in the waitress. "Oh, shit. Oh, sorry! I'm sorry! "

"No, I got it."

"It's kind of a long story."

"I... I think I heard it. I mean, I know I shouldn't, but spying on the customers is like the only thing that makes this job halfway bearable. You are way more interesting than most. "

"I know, it's unusual." You say.

"Yo, dude, I think it's awesome. Like, my mom died seven years ago. I was in high school. And after she passed, my dad spent every night alone. And I tried to tell him, "Go out. Live life. Find someone." But not just anyone. The right person. "

"Exactly. Which is hard."

She laughs "Right. imean, do you have any like friends or anything that could like take him off your hands?"

"Yeah his brother but not anyone that would get this girl stuff."

"Right. I mean, the thing is, finding the right one is actually about volume. You should host a mixer, like, invite some people."

"Yeah, right. Nothing says "fun" like a mixer hosted by your dying girlfriend."

"I mean, I'm having an art opening... at this gallery space on Friday. you could use it as a front.You, like, wouldn't even need to be there. And... And an art opening could bring together some really interesting women. Like the right types. Not that there wouldn't be some people there with like interested in the free snacks, but... "

"I wouldn't want to..."

"No, honestly, dude, you'd be doing me a real solid."

you laugh. I'm y/n.

"I'm Mira."

~~~~~~~~~

"A hundred and fifty dollars? This place is a rip-off. I could make this myself one week tops." Myron says.

"Focus, please. We just need to freshen up Sam's look a little."

"Why is that again?"

" Trust me. Any woman that meets him

is gonna want to shop for him. The wrong one will put him in these. He wears all plaid all the time"

"What are you doing?" You ask myron.

"What?"

"You're the only one who gets to make bad decisions because you're dying? Terminal cancer. Put it on my bill. "

"You're just so cool with everything. I'm not cool with any of this.

"I've been dying longer than you have. You get better at it. "

"How?"

"Well, it's like this vest. At first it's, "Why is that old man wearing that horrible vest? Pretty soon I become the vest guy. After that, you realize that you'd hardly recognize me without it. I look comfortable in it. It's a part of me, so... you accept it. "

"I don't think I can ever accept you in that vest."

"No?" He asks.

"Try this on. I want to see what it'll look like on Sam."

"Okay."

"But let me pair it with some skinny jeans."

Laughs.

"Okay. I look three days younger. "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"These... Oh! They're cutting off my circulation. Seriously, my ankles are tingling, my feet are asleep."

"You look hot!"

"It's just... Can I ask what this is about?"

"Just some retail therapy. "

"Right. And where am I supposed to put my phone?"

"Now... Okay, this jacket is dry clean only. Which means, if I'm not around, do not put this in the laundry."

"I know what that means y/n."

"Oh. Shit. Laundry. All right, so... In here." You walk to the washer and he asks:

"Really?"

" Okay, so... "

" I know how to turn it on."

"Yeah, but colors, whites, delicates."

".. Right."

"The dryer sometimes gets stuck, so, uh, you just give it two kicks. you kick it twice Right here. Like that. And it will generally unstick itself."

Sam kicks it twice.

"Exactly."

"Uh, this dial is the minutes. It tells you how much time you have left.......... um, If the time runs out..... before the clothes are ready, you just... turn the dial."

"Hmm. Wait." You say feeling uneasy.

" What?"

[groaning] "are you okay?"

You start coughing and head towards the sink. You start throwing up.

"yeah I have that effect on women." You both laugh. "Too soon...?"

You say "yeah too soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Her and her nightly what ifs. It was adorable though.

"What if I had run away and joined a cult?"

"I guess I would have to join too."

"What if relationships between cult members was frowned upon?"

"Like an asexual cult?"

"Yeah. And you couldn't do an intervention and get me out because I was totally brainwashed."

"Hmm. Well, I guess I would have to become a rival cult leader, re-brainwash you. according to my philosophy, and then steal you away into my cult, which would be a sex cult."

You start dying with laughter.

"What if I were exactly like me, except I had really terrible halitosis. I would get you a mint. Or I would destroy the olfactory receptors in my nose so that I didn't care."

....."What if I die?

"I would...

never recover." You guys cuddle and go to bed.

~~~~~ the next evening~~~~~~

You Sam and Dean are all In the same room.

"Should I be able to tell that you're circumcised in those jeans? 'Cause I can. And there's not a lot of, uh, room for imagination or your penis in those pants." You says.

"I don't want to go to this. I don't... I don't know anything about art."

You: "Yes you do. Would you relax? She just wants people there."

"Is she hot?" Dean asks.

"Trust me, Dean it will be a target rich environment." Sam answers.

"See? Come on, man. Free food, cute girls." Dean says.

~~~~~~~~~

"Come on, let's do this. " you say.

"How exactly do you know this artist again?"

"We met randomly at a cafe, and we really bonded and...

" When?"

' I... I don't know. I just... I don't want to disappoint her.

"Are you sure you can't come?" He asks you.

I- I don't feel up to it. Trust me.

"Okay. W... Well I'll go, just as long as you stop touching my hair.

"Hey, hey, hey, hey. "

'You're adorable." You say and he huffs a laugh. "Stop that!"

"Oh, he can move in them!"

"No, not really Dean."

Sam to Dean "you know i got a ring right before she told me she was 'pregnant and then now cancer."

"I didn't. You know you could still ask her."

"yeah she'll love that." he says sarcastically.

"it might give her some hope."

"yeah, maybe."

~~~~~~~In The car with myron outside the art meeting ~~~~~~~~~~

"Is he mingling?"

"He's admiring the art."

"Sam doesn't care much about art. Nah, he's just hoping if he keeps himself occupied with an activity, no one will actually talk to him."

[Myron] He's very good-looking.

Can I say that and not be awkward?

"Uh, yeah that's my whole point. What about you and your wife? How'd you two meet?"

"At a party."

"We were in college. We got hitched three years later. "

"That's it? No story?"

"The story came after. Getting married. Life. Building a home. Kids, grandkids."

"Sorry".

"It's okay. I won't know the difference, I guess."

"I just want those things for Sam."

"I have to hand it to you." Myron says.

"What?

"You are stubborn. This might be the worst plan in the world, but you're committed to it, and I like that."

"Yeah, well, don't be too impressed. Hasn't worked yet."

"I don't know about that." He says looking into the binoculars.

"What?" You look into the building.

"Let me see that." Sam is talking to Someone. "No, that's just the girl whose show it is."

[Myron] "So?"

"So she's just doing this as a favor to me. "

"So?"

"So, she's not his type."

"Yeah?"

You: "Oh, no. Don't do the snorty laugh.

"Ugh! He did the snorty laugh. Oh, he does that when he's... "

Myron : "When he's nervous."

"Happy."

"Here. Estelle's hot chocolate." Myron says ans hands you a coffee cup. "It cures whatever ails you. Except cancer."

He cheers "to the things we do for people we love."

~~~~~~~ bedtime ~~~~~

Sam walks in your shared bedroom. "I know you're not really sleeping. Because I know how your breathing sounds when you sleep. Which is something you don't even know about yourself."

laughs

"I know everything about you, y/n, But I have to say, you still know how to shock the hell out of me."

"What do you mean?"

"The clothes. The mixer. "

" Sam... "

"For the record, I am not a dummy. I know what's going on. And I went along with you trying to help me because I know it's helping you. But setting me up? Are you serious?"

"Please. You spend your life fighting monsters and researching all the time. Also always Looking after people."

"Sam, most people don't find what we had... have once, much less twice in a lifetime."

"What we have? You mean, a relationship where one person is... is lying, and sneaking around, and manipulating?*

" It's for your own good!"

"You just tried to manipulate my life! Or you mean a relationship where you have such a low opinion of me, that you truly believe that nobody else on the planet would ever fall for me."

"Obviously not. But that's the whole point!" You're gonna get swarmed, and it's gonna be impossible to find the right person!"

"I already found the right person! Or I thought I had." You

"Y/n/n's, I didn't... You know I didn't mean that. Hey, come here. are you okay?" He hugs you in the bed.

~~~~~~~~~ Sam and Dean sitting in the kitchen~~~~~~~

Sam: "What is she thinking? Does she think I'm completely clueless with women?"

"Dean?"

"No."

"Yeah? No.

" Wait, what?"

"you've just never seen me in action."

"Hm no, no and I never want to."

"What do I do?"

"Look, all you can do is be there for her, however you can. i mean, look, she's got to be scared out of her mind. And right now she needs to know that the worst thing happens.... That you are gonna be okay."

You and Myron go out bird watching. He speaks up : Are you ready to drop this mishigas with Sam?"

"You think I should?"

"Here's what I know: You don't have as much time as you think you do.*

" I don't?"

"No."

"What are you trying to say?" You ask heart racing.

"I'm not saying it, the Buddha did."

"I didn't realize you were Buddhist."

"I'm not, but it stuck with me. And it's true for you. It's true for every person on the planet."

[Myron] I need some snacks. Could you...

Oh. I can't believe you eat those things." You say handing him a bag of cheese curls.

"They're tasty."

"The chemo has clearly destroyed your taste buds."

"Try one".

"They're disgusting."

"Keep going. You get to tasty."

[crunches]. "The second bite is actually not as bad."

Myron: Good for you, too.

~~~~~ later at night~~~~

"Okay. Someone... who hikes." Sam says randomly.

"What?"

In the future, if I ever did this again, which I probably won't, but if I did, and if it makes you feel better to know, it would be with someone who hikes."

" We never hike."

'Because you hate it."

"That's not true."

"We took that one hike up Bear Mountain Six years ago, you complained the entire time."

"That's because hiking is boring. It's basically walking. And walking is something you do to get somewhere. Hiking from your car up a hill and then back to your car is totally pointless."

"Okay". he laughs.

"Duly noted." You say. "Hiking.

"Thank you."

"What else?"

" I like dancing." You scoff.

"I would like to try ballroom dancing classes. You know, like the fox-trot or the waltz, even though... "

"It's lame."

" I know you think it's lame."

''The fox-trot? Seriously?''

" Yeah!"

"How about something just moderately nerdy like swing."

"Is this person for you or for me?

"Okay.".

" Good. I get it. I'll update your profile.

"What profile?"

"This profile."

"God."

"You're welcome".

Next morning on a walk--

"So you've been pretending to be me?"

"you're sick you know that?"

"so?"

"okay so how do you like this profile picture?"

"you took a picture of me sleeping??"

"hey come on I've worked really hard on this. No? You don't okay fine. Want to take another one?"

"yeah let's take another one."

"Okay" he sits down on the bench and smiles. You press the button and bammm.

"what do you think of that?."

"oh it's good!"

"uh huh."

"do it in black and white."

Sam: "are you coming to bed?"

(glass shatters) "oh."

"y/n??" He walks in the room. "Y/n what is it?"

"It's broken."

" Oh, shit."

" It's broken."

"It's okay. We can just... We can get another one. It's fine."

'No, we can't! You gave it to me when we were kids.." you cry but he picks you up and takes you to bed. He holds you all night and lets you cry. He knows this can't be easy.

To be continued

[imalwayshere4]

April 11, 2022

Umm, Hi Dylan. I wanted to make this for you. Now see I wanted to do this on paper, and make a journal for you to keep because i know I'm gonna see you one day, but I couldn't find one, and i can't get one right now, and im quite impatient but hey it's okay because now we'll have our secret little diary in here. okay not a diary, i'm writing to you, but i just feel as if i show emotion a lot more through typing, and writing, and i just have a lot of feelings, and emotion towards you, and i don't feel as if i express that enough, because i'm so nervous around you sometimes, And i'm just really awkward about my feelings, but i want you to know, you know? So i'm going to write to you as much as possible i think.. i don't really know how im going about this or where i'm going with this but just know for one thing, i'm not very organized so this may or may not be all over the place, but i know maybe you get me so maybe you'd understand. As of today, i feel okay, and just okay, but one thing thats better than okay is having you here again you know that? you're like the sun in my life, which honestly could be seen as a good thing and a bad thing, but mostly a good thing as you make me happy, and you're like my rock?? i guess? i just feel really comfortable around you and i always feel like i can be myself, and you never judge me, that's one thing i've kinda noticed, we can just talk for hours "in our own world" as you said and that little world is my "escape" i guess from the real world and everything bad that goes on in my head you take me away from that place like, a vacation or something like that... i don't know i just kinda need a minute to just write on until stuff that i wanna say really comes out, see i always have so much to say and so many thoughts until i actually start writing, and then poof they're gone </3 but hey its okay. Anyways Mind vacation, yes you take me on a mind vacation. you take me into your little world and you tell me all your stories and your dreams and all just all these little things about you (that i try to remember) and i love that. it's just comforting for some reason, and just hearing you talk about things that make you happy or things you remember from when you were younger or just stories of you being a dumbass i love it so much and it makes my night, and i can't wait until i can talk to you every night, just like we used to, and i can hear your voice again <3. I am a little bit nervous about writing this honestly because what if you don't like to read and what if these is coming off as too corny. i feel like such a nerd writing this lowkey, but im not sure how else to get all of this off my chest... OHHH umm i just had an idea, i'm gonna treat this as if im like talking to you yk, and ocassionally bring in how i feel? makes sense? this is probably such a bad intro but i will write more and hopefully it'll get better the more and more i write and the more i get comfy with this shittttt but for right now im gonna call it a night, cause im super sleepy, i did tell you iwas going to bed because i was sad like an hour ago maybe but i didnt, instead i decided to watch death note (a little of it) cause you asked me to :) so we could talk about... something with the show.. i don't remember but maybe tomorrow you'll tell me. I also gotta remember to do our life 360 circle again, IDK why i like them so much it just makes me feel closer to you (in a non creepy way) I honestly can't wait to give you this oh so great virtual gift, and maybe i will end up buying an actual journal and writing in it sometime for you, it's like im writing a book for you ahaha, kinda.. i don't know but yeah, like i said hopefully you can understand how i feel more about you, and i just wanna open up a piece of my mind to you, because you're so special to me and i just wanna give you something...and for right now, until we're together this is what i'lll do. I just honestly hope you like reading as much as i like typing this. i could talk about you forever honestly, But i should probably go to sleep honestly. It's late But

i'll hopefully write to you tomorrow, and talk to you tomorrow too :) . (also does 24/7 mean ily???) GOODNIGHT <3