#I just didn't have much to add here as far as setting the scene went ^^

[ittsybittsybunny]

ATLA Live Action Series Review:

The Good

Aesthetically this show felt right. Sure sometimes the outfits didn't quite feel lived in, but I always felt like I was watching a fantasy world with decent effects and interesting design. Also, I really enjoyed the sets!

Bending: Yes some of the fights feel very quick, but the bending looks cool. It is certainly better than 10 benders lifting one big rock. I can honestly say the opening bending fight scene gave me so much hope for this show.

Kyoshi Warriors: I loved seeing them in live action, and I thought Suki's performance was great!

Omashu: I think the mashup of the mechanist made sense since that is an important character overall and I would hate to see him cut. However, both Jet & the secret tunnels felt sloppily thrown in.

Northern Water Tribe: I really loved the way it looked, and appreciated the two episodes we spent here. I think Yue gained more agency in this interpretation, and why shouldn't the moon spirit be a waterbender. Also, episode seven felt the most in tune with the original show's spirit.

Zuko: I think he was one of the most fleshed-out and best parts of the show! Dallas Liu really captured Zuko's spirit, and the scene between him and Aang in episode 6 was wonderful!

Soundtrack: Hearing the original soundtrack bits is always great, and when I first heard the ending music I was so excited.

Is the show perfect, no - but I wouldn't mind a season 2.

The Bad

Pacing: Turning 20 episodes into 8 was bound to lead to some cuts...but oftentimes times things felt too quick or disjointed. I think there were editing problems contributing to this for sure, but sometimes things skipped around too much without a clear purpose as to why. Also, why bring in plots from later seasons when you barely have enough time already?

Writing: This show definitely suffered from exposition dumping, though it did get better as time went on. I think the biggest example of this is actually opening in the past rather than the present. We do not get to learn along with Aang that the world has changed, instead, we get to learn that 100 years have passed....which doesn't hold the same tension or worldbuilding.

Clunky Dialogue: Along with exposition, clunky dialogue is another example of bad writing. I think sometimes I felt like the acting was kind of meh in the beginning, but then over time I began to realize it had far more to do with the lines characters were trying to deliver. The actors themselves are not bad, just cursed with awkward writing and lines that feel out of touch with the setting they're in.

Main Trio: I don't entirely know that I believe Katara, Sokka, and Aang are friends as opposed to 3 people stuck together to save the world. Aang feels a little too somber for a young kid running away from his responsibilities, Sokka is protective, but not exactly the heart of the team, and Katara is sort of just there until the last two episodes. Where is her struggle, her desire to learn so strong she steals from pirates? Also, while Gordon Cormier did a great job, Aang does zero waterbending on his own, is overly serious, and tells Katara not to fight. Where is his desperation to protect his friends? It feels like they all lost emotional depth.

Tension: Bringing Ozai, Azula, and Zhao out in the beginning immediately causes us to lose the realization there is an even bigger bad. Part of why Ozai is so terrifying is he is a primarily silent villain until the third season when we finally see the face of the "big bad evil guy" behind it all. Yes, they add to Zuko's backstory, but again, they are revealing the villains too early. Azula is the antagonist of season 2 and one of my favorite characters, so I hope they do more with her in the future. Finally, Zhao is supposed to be an example of the uncontrollable nature of fire unrestrained, instead, he comes off as vaguely threatening with the supposed true power being Azula.

Characterization: While all characters are bound to lose something in a shorter show, it still felt like certain characters were more mutilated than others. I am sure there are 100 different opinions on who, but I think the biggest victim was Katara.

Katara: Katara manages to go from a complete novice to a bending master in what feels like a matter of days. The journey feels short, and that makes the results feel largely unearned. Katara is one of the strongest personalities in the show, determined, kind, and fiery. In many ways, she is the unpredictability of water - equally dangerous as it is necessary to live. She is the child of a war who lost her mother, forced to grow up too soon, and even raised her older brother. Yes, Katara often gets stereotyped as the mom friend, but overall she feels underutilized in this show. We really don't see enough of her journey until the very end.

Iroh: Iroh was always comedic but most importantly wise. Even when Zuko is trying to give himself advice, he mimics Iroh. Instead, he seems to be used more as comedic relief without the underlying experience. He just doesn't feel right. Also, he kills Zhao instead of Zhao getting himself killed - which is less about Iroh and more about the writing than anything.

Ozai is weirdly a little too nice. Yes, he burned Zuko and pits his kids against each other, but he feels toned down in a show claiming to be more mature than the original cartoon.

Azula is perhaps more realistically worried about losing her status as the golden child, but she is also missing the cruelty she and her father share. I understand worrying about making your character cartoonishly evil, but the Fire Nation is currently a deeply nationalistic empire trying to control the world. Where is the deep-seated belief that they are better than other people, not just trying to bring balance to the world? There is a line between creating complexity and toning down the very real evil inherent in this plan.

Roku: I can only say what the fuck was that. He was barely there, and not the serious master to Aang's youthful exuberance.

The Ugly

Show, Don't Tell: The show's single biggest issue seems to be speeding through story parts by simply stating things. Instead of allowing the audience to discover, trusting that we are smart enough to understand, let's just blatantly say things like Zuko is the only reason the 41st division is alive to their faces. Even though in the context of the story Ozai literally already said that.... it's the division, the division for Zuko, Zuko's division.

Thematic Misunderstandings: I think this show makes several minor changes with major implications, such as airbenders actively fighting the firebenders, when airbenders are known for their pacifist nature and the lie of an Airbender fighting force is actively propaganda. Similarly, Aang very quickly accepts his role as the avatar and doesn't even run away in the beginning. Without this conflict between his desire to be a carefree child and the fact that the world needs him - the show loses a key aspect of Aang's character. Also, the obsession with downplaying the avatar state as something dangerous feels like a disservice to the tradition, connection, and strength of the avatar, which can be permanently destroyed as the trade-off for that kind of power. It's dangerous for the balance of the entire world, not just because it's powerful!

The Agni Kai: Zuko's fight against his father is one of the defining moments of Ozai's cruelty, not just because he is willing to fight his child, but because Zuko tried to do everything right. Zuko shows deference to his father, apologizes, and most importantly refuses to fight! The determination not to upset his father and still be grievously injured and banished is a hugely important theme for the fire nation and Zuko's life as a whole. He tries to do everything he is supposed to and only regains his father's acceptance after he "kills" Aang. Zuko's struggle between moral vs. social right and wrong in contrast to his family is hugely important to his character.

-----

TLDR: ATLA was a fantastical animated television show that was never afraid to show character development and flaws. When you turn 20 episodes into 8, you are bound to lose something. You hollowed out the middle, leaving the shell of important moments and events without ever wondering if all the times in between formed the true spirit of the show.

Rating: 6.5/10 It's perfectly fine and worth a watch. Not a disaster, but certainly falls flat of the original.

[zoeykallus]

Look, sweetheart, I need Crosshair back with the batch. I need him to just find out about Tech. And I need him to come not only back to the batch, but too his lover (fem reader), and while they are having a rather hot reunion, he suddenly has a breakdown, trying to cope the news that Tech is gone. Reader comforts him, of course, catching him. Crosshair NEEDS a moment like that. Pretty please...

Aloha!

Yet another ancient request that slipped through the cracks. I'm so so so so sorry you had to wait so long for this. But I gotta tell you, I really like the scene that's just now unfolding in my head. Here we go, finally!

Crosshair x Fem!Reader One-shot - Don't Let Go Of Me

Warnings: 18+ (?) Angst/Hurt/Comfort/Strongly Suggestive/Sexual Themes/Fluff

_________

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

_________

"But, where is Tech? Why isn't he chewing my ear off with his latest findings yet?" It quietens down completely in the cockpit of the Marauder. Only the soft hum of the shuttle can be heard. Every single one of you has known from the start, that this question would come sooner or later, but it still hits you like a sledgehammer. Hunter is the only one who manages to meet Crosshair's gaze. "Things went wrong during our first attempt to free you" You see Crosshair slowly frowning critically. As if to brace yourself, you slowly take a deep breath and exhale again, as if it's you hearing this news for the first time, not him. Shrugging his shoulders, the Sniper asks, "So, what does that mean?" "Tech didn't make it back. We'd all be dead without him. Plan 99," Echo says quietly. You see Crosshair swallow. A tremor runs through his hands for a moment, then he is completely motionless again. The Sniper avoids your gaze, not looking at you once. He knows how well you know him, that you can see his every emotion, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, and right now it's unsettling him far too much.

Crosshair blinks, his expression stony, he doesn't move a muscle. A long, awkward moment of silence ensues, no one says a word. But then, just as you expected, Crosshair immediately switches from sadness to anger. His gaze could have cut dura steel as he sets his sights on Hunter. His voice isn't loud, but it's cutting as he speaks, "Why? Why the hell did you even try this! I sent you this message to keep you away, to hide, to keep Omega safe!" Hunter grinds his teeth, clearly preoccupied with staying calm. He has enough guilt without Crosshair putting his finger on it. "Tech could still be alive if you'd just done the right thing once," the Sniper snarls, digging his finger into Hunter's chest, "Just one fucking time" You see Hunter grit his teeth, the tension beneath his surface. Echo pushes Crosshair's outstretched arm aside and says, "Hunter was against getting you. Tech and Omega insisted we try" Crossshair gruffly pushes Echo aside and snaps, "Doesn't matter," turning to Hunter he says, "You're the squad leader, you have the final say and you should have decided differently" Hunter growls softly, "I'm painfully aware of that"

Omega, who has been watching quietly until now, says quietly but clearly, "Tech and I insisted, we would never have given in" Crosshair snorts, pushing past Wrecker towards the ramp. "Where are you going?" asks Hunter. " Out of here, I can't breathe in here," the Sniper grumbles and disappears from your sight. Wrecker sighs, "Well, that went as well as expected" You pat Hunter gently on the shoulder and say, "You did the right thing, if it wasn't for Saw none of this would have happened. It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Tech's or Omega's either" Hunter sighs wistfully and says, "Maybe" "Give Crosshair some time, he's just hearing this for the first time, he needs to digest the whole thing before he can deal with it properly," you tell him encouragingly.

Hunter growls, "He should pull himself together sooner or later, we all mourn Tech, he wasn't just his brother" After a sigh he adds, "Keep an eye on him please" You nod and say, "I'll give him some time alone, then I'll follow him"

You wait almost two hours before following Crosshair to the beach. Omega had already wanted to follow him, but you asked her to stay away from him for now and leave you to it. The girl reluctantly agreed, only when Hunter told her to stay in the ship did she let you go alone. As if the weather were adjusting to the general mood, dark clouds gather over Pabuu. In the distance, you hear a low rumble of thunder. Shortly afterward, it starts to rain, and not just a little. You sigh and continue walking towards the beach. As expected, you find Crosshair there, on a rockier part of the beach, with his rifle, firing at makeshift targets consisting of glass bottles and various stones. You don't have to watch him for long to realize that he is anything but at the top of his game. He repeatedly misses shots that he would normally hit at any time, regardless of the weather conditions.

The wind carries his growls, his half-suppressed curses to your ear and you sigh softly. He is completely agitated, no wonder he can't concentrate. As you get closer, you see the trembling in his hands, which he repeatedly clenches into fists, shakes and tries to relax before he takes his next shot. But suddenly he stops. You know he has sensed your presence. His head slowly turns in your direction. As you stand next to him, he growls, "I was wondering what was keeping you" "I thought I'd give you a little space before I ambush you" "Hmm," he grumbles quietly, puts the Firepuncher back in the holster on his back, and sits down on one of the wet rocks nearby. As you try to sit down next to him, he stops you, shaking his head, "The rocks are wet and freezing, you're sure to catch a cold if you sit on them for any length of time" "You sit on them too" He raises his eyebrows and says, "I'm a clone, Kitten, besides, I have my armor on, I don't get sick easily"

With a sigh, you put your hands in your jacket pockets. Your clothes are already soaked, you don't think it really matters whether you sit down on the cold stone or not, but you stand still. Somehow you had imagined the reunion between you two to be different. You know that he is not the type for exuberant emotional exchanges, but still. The euphoria you felt when you realized he was back, which you actually still feel, you wish you could see some of it in him. At the moment, you're not quite sure where you both stand. You don't quite know if he wants to hear it, but you say it anyway, "I missed you" He looks up at you from his seated position, his gaze strangely scrutinizing, then his eyes wander back to the horizon over the sea in the distance. "Not as much as I missed you," he mumbles softly, so softly that his words are almost drowned out by the sound of the rain. You're so surprised you don't know what to reply, but maybe no response is necessary for now. Crosshair licks his lips, wipes rainwater from his face, and looks up at you again.

"Is there a place here where we can be alone and undisturbed?" "We are alone" Crosshair rolls his eyes and says, "No we're not, Omega is sneaking around back there, behind the rocks" You sigh, turn around and shout, "Omega, go back to the ship!" "How did you see me?" the girl shouts back in disbelief. "I didn't. Please go back to Hunter, I have everything under control here" After Omega leaves, Crosshair looks at you, a barely noticeable smirk at the corner of his mouth. "So you have everything under control here?" You shrug your shoulders. "More or less." He chuckles. "Now is there somewhere we can be undisturbed and maybe get out of the rain?" the Sniper asks.

Crosshair takes off the Firepuncher, removes his gloves and takes off his chest plate as he looks around. "So this is where you live now?" "When we're not traveling, yes" The little cottage is nothing particularly meaningful, you don't actually spend much time here, there's hardly any decoration or features worth mentioning. But he does notice one thing. You follow his gaze as you notice that it lingers in one place for a long time. There's a target hanging at the head of your bed. "You really still have that thing?" He steps closer to the bed, his fingers gliding over the burn holes from blaster shots in the target hanging above it, over the initials you both carved into it after your first training session together. He laughs softly and says, "You were as happy as a baby when you got to use the Firepuncher" "I remember," you reply quietly.

You swallow and finally explain, still quietly, "When I realized you weren't coming back, that you were staying with the Empire, I dug out the target from my old stuff and hung it up. Most of our things were destroyed on Kamino, so I didn't have any pictures or anything of you. It was just my way of remembering you and dealing with the fact that you were gone" He sighs softly, gazing at the strange decoration above your bed for quite a while before turning to you. "I never left you" "Yes, you very much did. You knew I couldn't follow you on your path with the Empire, if only because of my political past. When you decided to stay there, you left me." He shakes his head and sighs again. "It's not that simple" You shrug your shoulders impatiently, you don't want to argue right now, not at all. "Does it matter? I don't expect an apology or an explanation. You did what you thought was right at the time, and at some point you realized it was wrong. These things happen," you say, peeling yourself out of your completely soaked jacket and throwing it on the floor.

"You just let me off the hook like that? I'd be pissed if I were you" You laugh humorlessly, "Yeah, I know you hold grudges" Crosshair comes over with a sigh and picks up your jacket from the floor. "Don't you have a hamper?" You laugh again. "Still such a neat freak? No, I don't, I don't spend too much time here" With another sigh, Crosshair lets the jacket fall to the floor again. "You're completely soaked," he notes. "It's raining," you say dryly. You're only wearing a tank top, which is also soaked, and a pair of shorts under your jacket. His fingers graze your shoulders, which immediately makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up and sends a pleasant shiver down your spine. "Your skin is all chilled out, take off the rest of your wet clothes"

You laugh softly and say, "You just want to see me naked" He nods and admits, "That too, yes. But you're really chilled out." Crosshair watches you unabashedly as you take off the rest of your clothes, including your underwear, and finally stand naked in front of him. He takes a deep breath and finally says, "It's been a long time since I've seen anything so beautiful" The next moment your lips meet, they are as soft and warm as you remember them. The moment as you get closer, as his face approaches yours, is somehow a blur, as if it never happened, as if his lips had simply always been on yours. You help Crosshair out of his armor and blacks, the pieces flying carelessly to the floor on your way to bed. You roll through the sheets, hands and lips everywhere. If you're not mistaken, you can feel one of his hands shaking occasionally, but you're not really in a position to pay much attention to it at the moment. His fingers trail down your body, as do his lips, reaching for your body, pressing against you, naked and ravenous. Crosshair seems so greedy, almost desperate, as he caresses you, moaning under your every touch as if it's the first time anyone has touched him like this.

He's honest with you, direct. "It's been a long time since I've been able to relieve myself, I don't know how long I can last today" Your lips graze along his lower jaw and elicit an excited sigh. "You know that doesn't matter to me, being this intimate with you is enough for me" Crosshair rolls his eyes, but then says, "I know, but you also know that it matters to me that you get what you need. But right now... I just don't know how long this will last, and I need you now, your body, your closeness" You feel his hard cock twitch as it rests on your pubic area and open your thighs a little wider. "You're safe here, Crosshair, I love you. Come here, melt into me" The look he gives you is enough, he doesn't need to say the words back, the relief, the gratitude, the depth of affection in those otherwise serious eyes is worth a thousand words.

As he enters your body, his hard length stretching and filling your wet heat, you let out a deep, relieved sigh from your lungs. You've missed this feeling so much. It's strange, you feel much less arousal at the moment, more deep relief, a strange euphoria and affection. You smile rapturously as Crosshair climaxes, as expected, after a relatively short time and a few intense thrusts into your pussy. The sound that leaves his throat is both a moan and a whimper, it sounds relieved, surprised and in a strange way... desperate. Concerned, you gently stroke his bare back with your fingertips. He remains lying on top of you, most of his weight resting on his forearms, his head buried in the hollow between your head and shoulder. Then you feel it. A slight tremor goes through his upper body, especially through his shoulders, his breathing is heavy, irregular. A quiet sob, half smothered by your neck and the pillow. Holy shit, is all you can think right now. Crosshair has shown himself vulnerable to you before, in his, odd, often reluctant way, but this is new.

Silently, you draw gentle, soothing circles on his back while his tears wet your neck. There are no correct words now, you realize, this is something that needs to come out of him, uncommented. You don't know how much time has passed, maybe an hour or two. Crosshair is getting heavier on you. You don't want to bother him, don't want to push him away, but slowly you can barely breathe. "Cross," you say softly, a little breathlessly, "I can barely catch my breath" He straightens up with such a sudden jolt that you startle a little. "Sorry," he mumbles, hastily wipes his still tear-streaked face and starts to get dressed. His eyes are all red and swollen, you've never seen him like this before. Quietly, secretly, your heart breaks at the sight. You wish you could do something, but you know you can't force your care on him, that's not how Crosshair works. You have to offer him opportunities that he can take on his own terms and as he feels. "There's no need to apologize," you say gently. Crosshair sighs softly, "I know it's not particularly romantic to just leave after what we just did, but I need some fresh air, alone"

So he withdraws, again. Actually, you're not surprised. A relationship with Crosshair is sometimes a bit like a game of tug-of-war or patience. You stifle a sigh and continue to smile at him. "That's okay. You know where to find me whenever you need me." Crosshair sighs in relief, he didn't really expect you to make a scene. But the circumstances are a little different compared to normal, and basically he couldn't have blamed you if you'd been angry that he wanted to leave, he's aware of that. "Thank you," he says quietly, almost in a whisper, before opening the door and walking out into the rain. With a sigh, you go into the bathroom, clean yourself up and finally lie back in bed when there is a sudden knock at the door. "Who is it?" The door opens very slowly and Crosshair sticks his head in. "Cross?" you ask in surprise. "Yeah... I've changed my mind," he says a little uncertainly, entering the room and closing the door behind him again, "I don't think I want to be alone after all, I've been alone long enough, and I feel better with you."

Your eyes widen in surprise, but then you give him a warm smile. Crosshair clears his throat a little awkwardly and asks, "Would you mind if I stayed the night?" Your smile widens, and you say, "You know very well that you can stay here every night for all I care" A smirk twitches at the corner of his mouth. You reach out to him and Crosshair hurriedly takes off his gear, crawls under the covers and into your arms, wrapping his own arms around your body. With a deep sigh of relief, he leans his head against your chest and whispers so softly it's almost not even a whisper anymore, "I love you, don't let go of me" At the same volume, you whisper back, "Never" and feel him wrap his arms a little tighter around you.

@rintheemolion

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[queer-ragnelle]

Camelot (2011) | Created by Michael Hirst & Chris Chibnall

Arthurian Film List | Arthurian Show List | Movie review below the cut ⤦

Star Rating: 10/10

Content Warning: graphic nudity & sexuality, heavy gore, torture, rape

Overview: Full disclosure, I'm hella biased. I watched this every week while it aired back in 2011. But having re-watched the series again numerous times since then, I stand by my love for it. If there was anything I would add, it would be dogs. Where are the puppies?! The costume designer for this show went on to win awards for her work on The Tudors, all the acting is prenominal, the set designs, the score and sound design, the writing is just insanely good. Even when I don't agree with all narrative choices, I'm convinced to appreciate them here. Eva Green is by far my favorite Morgan and James Purefoy my favorite Lot. I wasn't born queer, their intense sex scenes with blood oaths and body hair queerified me. Who said that. Anyway the biggest thing to praise about this show is how abundantly and well it centers women's stories. Igraine, Guinevere, Morgan, Vivian, Sebile, Bridget. You're all really amazing. I support women's rights and women's wrongs.

Synopsis: Morgan returns from her many years at the nunnery and is immediately rejected by Uther and her step mother Igraine. She vows vengeance and returns to the castle later in the guise of a child to secretly poison the king. As Uther lays dying, Merlin gets him to sign over his kingship to the son he never met. The show then transitions to Arthur, who has been raised along side foster-brother Kay by their loving parents in ignorance they are not fully brothers. Merlin shows up and spills the beans, taking Arthur and Kay with him to Camelot, an old crumbling castle they need to rebuild as the center of a great city. There, Uther's old knights, including Lancelot Leontes and his fiancée Guinevere, wait for them. Meanwhile Morgan turns castle Pendragon inside out to remake it for her own liking, including bringing on Vivian as her messenger and handmaiden, and Sebile the nun as her advisor. She also allies herself with King Lot intending to claim the throne of Britain for herself. Morgan and Arthur must battle for the right to take their father King Uther's place.

Final Thoughts: This show really has it all. It's a tragedy it was cancelled after a single season. There was so much set up that will never get pay off. I cry every day. The homoeroticism between Kay and Gawain going unfulfilled haunts me. Read Exiled From Camelot by Cherith Baldry to get your fix but damn I'm so sad we didn't see more of them in a second season. HUGE SPOILERS FOR THE ENDING but it set up that Guinevere was pregnant with Galahad and would take the bloody seat of the Round Table where Leontes was meant to sit, meanwhile Morgan was pregnant with Mordred in a last bid for power after she was finally revealed to Arthur as a threat. GO WATCH!!!!!!!

[buffyfan145]

I got the first 2 episodes in of "Rings of Power" s2 and they were amazing!!! 😀 Worth waking up at 5 am to watch. LOL I still got ep 3 to watch and will this afternoon, but need to get my thoughts out here behind a cut, but so happy with s2 so far. Not tagging all the characters, as it seems to think too many is spam, so hopefully this goes in the tags and I talk about most.

First off, I loved seeing Sauron's backstory in ep 1!!! 😀 I mentioned before in my other posts that I'm a fan of Jack Lowden's and it was great getting to see him after the version Adar knew. I only expect Jack back in flashbacks if he's able, even more so seeing a new interview with Charlie this morning assuring fans that he won't be recast. The whole prologue explained so much about what happened with Adar, and then Sauron reforming eventually into Halbrand. Also confirmed he really was going to Númenor on his own, and his meeting with Galadriel really was by chance so those theories he planned it all along were wrong.

Charlie's doing amazing too both as Halbrand and now as Annatar. I loved all the shoutouts too to "The Silmarillion" and other 1st Age stories about him, including him being The Lord of the Werewolves and able to talk with that wolf. Then the Bible references as we knew about the Annatar transformation scene looking like Jesus and angel paintings, but also the "Let My People Go!" scene fit with Moses and especially the "Prince of Egypt" movie, which I love too. But also realized at times they way they're doing (and Tolkien wrote) Sauron rising from nothing to being aids to kings is so similar to the Bible story of Joseph, and the musical "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" (which my high school did an amazing version of that music my junior year of high school LOL). So I loved all of this and everything we saw with Celebrimbor in ep 2.

Then with Galadriel!!! 😀 OMG, first I have to mention about those Haladriel scenes!!! We knew the rings were going to connect them, as well as their mental bond in general, but now she's seeing visions and knows Sauron is in Eregion and saw him there. Plus, hearing him call her name in that vision, and confirming that she can read his mind, and him hers (as he knew the rings worked). Then the big one where Galadriel confessed to Elrond about how she feels about Halbrand/Sauron (and still used his Halbrand name) and it clearly was showing us that she fell in love with him by using that flashback to the "I felt it too" scene, and that's why everything that happened and being deceived hurt her so much. And Elrond knows now, which is why he and Gil Galad are being like that to her now as they don't trust her around Sauron anymore and think she'll turn. Loving that we're getting scenes about Haladriel even if they both are actually in the same place.

Then I loved the scene with the rings and showing they are good and worked to help restore the elves. Absolutely love Círdan too and being a mentor to Elrond. Him talking about more 1st Age characters and their flaws was great too. LOL

The storyline with The Stranger, Nori, and Poppy is great too. He's got to be Gandalf. I thought this the whole time but every scene I see of him just confirms it to me.

Pretty sure Ciarán Hinds' character is one of the Blue Wizards. The show did supposedly get the rights to use the Blue Wizards stories that Tolkien wrote in "Unfinished Tales" and one of the 2 Blues went evil in the 2nd Age in Rhûn, similar to how Saruman did in the 3rd Age. So I'm pretty sure that's what we're seeing him and that he found a cult with the Mystics.

Then loved seeing more with Durin, Disa, and the dwarves. It's setting up Sauron/Annatar giving them the 7 rings, and the making of the Doors of Durin too. Also very cool seeing Narvi too and the female dwarves having facial hair similar to more male elves having long hair (this didn't bother me like it did other fans but cool to see them add it). Though also really sad about the singing not working.

So now getting ready to watch ep 3 this afternoon and I saw from the description that it involves other characters we haven't seen yet from s1, and then I'll be caught up till ep 4 next week.

[zombeebunnie]

Trembling Essence:💙Choice adjustments + Exploration💙

Hi guys and welcome new followers! This update post might be a little short but here's how the game is going so far! Also I was very surprised at how well the endings guide was received so I'll keep that in mind in the future. :,]

Everything started off very slow again and didn't progress much up until a day or two ago. I was able to find the root of this issue so hopefully in the next few days things will return to normal! :]

I also want to talk a little bit deeper about the beginning of the game and what's to come of it.

Summary:

I want this section leading up to the cabin to give you an idea of your surroundings and give an introduction to Noah.

When I went on to redo this part some time around May I got carried away with wanting to add a bunch of adventurous endings. Even though I enjoyed doing this, I understood that it was too much and I was missing the mark I was aiming for. There were a couple of signs but what really made me realize this fully was working on the 'Endings guide'. I want the endings you get at this part to reflect what could possibly happen later on in the game and have symbolic meaning. There will be endings that just 'happen' but I do want to make sure I do that right. :]

With that being said, the start of the game will be reduced from 4 choices back down to 2. No spoilers but again, the pathing won't play out the same from the [Extended Demo] anymore. :]

Exploration:

Before:

After:

I managed to get some CG's done too! For the before and after, I did not like how it looked anymore and the dialog didn't match with what you were seeing on the screen. I wanted this part to look like an actual spooky path you were going down covered in fog. I also added a parallax effect here that really sets the mood! I do plan on fixing up the 'before' image just not right now. :]

This sort of sums up what all has been going on behind the scenes, super close to the cabin. Yay! I fixed up most of what my play testers recommended to me but there's some endings that still need to be seen. :]

If you like what I create, please consider supporting what I do on kofi! All donations and tips help tremendously while I continue to work on the game. Thank you to those that optionally bought the [Extended Demo] and the March 2023 demo on itch.io. :,]

Q&A / Ask box is open:

There's been a sudden influx of questions and I really appreciate it, I'll try and answer some of them when I get the chance! Some did have major spoilers being asked so I can't answer them. :,]

If you have any questions about Trembling Essence/Noah feel free to ask here or on itch.io please. This makes it easier for me to see and answer accordingly! I enjoy hearing from you guys!

This is all I have to share for right now but thank you everyone for the uplifting support and patience, I appreciate it! :]

[atxxzist]

broken | c.s (09)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x reader

word count: 11.4k

warning: brief smut scene, shitty writing here & there, pls stop reading immediately if anything makes u uncomfortable!

summer isn't anything like your school experience so far, which is a good thing.

instead of sticking to your dorm room or the cafe nearby all day, you at least went out; to lotte world when both of your friends wanted some thrills and proceeded to drag you through a near hell experience where you almost fainted from a ride and stayed beside mingi to nurture him after because he's still the same 'ole scaredy cat you know him to be, who gets easily nauseous.

they also took you to your first ever bar and ordered you a cocktail drink named after something you cannot remember, but it was all super extra and too sophisticated for your taste.

you might've gotten a tad drunk; the experience not at all like you imagined, and attacked mingi with a few kisses, though you have suspicions it wasn't all your doing considering mingi had been eyeing someone across the bar all night who was giving him the same coy look back.

but if you're to ask him, he'd probably just tell you it was nothing serious; just a one night thing. and maybe not exactly sexual but a couple flirty exchanges, that's it. you know how he is.

but the first few weeks of you guys running around like bachelors not tied to anything but just having fun comes to an end when minji called, finally able to free up some time to pay a visit to her boyfriend and friends she hasn't seen in a while.

yunho was the most happy and excited you've seen him ever since stepping on seoul's soils, when minji arrived at the dormitory and ran into his arms so fast, it made you sick to the stomach at how sweet the scene was.

she had planned an entire list of her own of things to do together and was elevated to reveal the first activity on that list much to your dismay, because you guys had already done something similar a couple weeks before.

"come on, guys! it's gonna be fun!" she cheers, arms wrapped around one of yunho's and jumping on the way to the lobby as both you and mingi trail from behind just a good amount of distance because the matching shirts the two has on makes you guys not want to associate yourselves.

"i could think of a million other things to do than go to another amusement park," mingi comments; his snarky tone causing minji to stop as she pulls yunho along, her head turning and shooting lasers toward said boy.

"you didn't even have to come!" she rolls her eyes.

"well, i wouldn't want y/n over here to be third wheeling the whole time."

it's your turn to roll your eyes, not at all fazed by the banter because you know it won't be the last one of the day, just wishing it will pass soon enough so you guys can make it there before the sun sets.

"pfft," minji brushes off, tugging you by the hand and making you stumble a few steps forward until you're pulled right next to her, shoulders touching.

"we are very inclusive!" she adds, and you shoot a rather simple smile in return, knowing the minute yunho does something cute or vice versa, you will be long forgotten.

"yeah, sure, whatever," mingi dismisses, reaching out for your wrist as you're thrown back next to him like a tossed ball. "but she's gonna need me if you're going to be dragging her through those scary rides."

minji scoffs. "i think you're the one that needs her."

for a moment, it looks like mingi's about to say something back, until his eyes fleet to something else in front of him; his towering height allowing him to see over the two.

"hey, yeosang!" yunho's the one to start, his attention on the boy long before any of you caught notice.

it's the way you snap your head so fast, only able to see half of his body as yunho's figure covers the other, but you don't miss the way his gaze skips over to meet yours, conjuring up a knot in your throat as you swallow it down.

you haven't seen him since that night, whether your schedules just differs now, or that you pretty much went out of your way to avoid him, it feels weirdly nostalgic and wrong seeing him again.

"hey!" he waves a bit awkwardly, but genuine in the sense he looks happy by the coincidence.

he has a bag over one shoulder and his hair is a little disheveled; skin also glistening that tells you he just came back from a pretty tough day at work.

"you came at the perfect timing."

"looks like it." he chuckles, and oh... you hate how deep and melodic it sounds. "you guys can go ahead. i'm just gonna put my things back and i'll catch up soon."

one of your eyebrows raise immediately at that.

"oh, it's fine. we can wait."

yeosang hesitates but eventually give in. "alright then, i'll be quick."

you wait until he's out of sight to say something, eager to confirm the suspicion.

"you invited yeosang?" you don't sound hostile or aggravated, just in complete awe.

"yes, just thought you'd enjoy some company. mingi's probably going to run off on you sooner or later."

mingi's face twist, offended at the accusation. you on the other hand, is completely cornered in this situation with no other way out, knowing you're going to have to be in kang yeosang's presence for the rest of the day.

unbelievable.

it takes two rides for mingi to decide he's had enough, and another one for you to follow in his footsteps, situating yourself next to him before stealing a quick gulp from the water bottle.

"hey, want to go into one of those mirror house? whoever makes it out last has to pay for cotton candy," he proposes.

"you are so childish," you wave off, holding in a tiny giggle. "i'm sure they have a height limit for those things."

"that's so fucking whack. they should have one for adults, cause maybe then we could actually be having some fun on the ground," he says, eyeing the gigantic and quite horrific ride in front of you guys.

"weren't you the one hauling ass about going to lotte world a few weeks ago?"

"well, yes, but that was before i threw up all over my fucking shoes."

you chuckle lightly, scoffing before rolling your eyes.

"over there," you say, nodding your head off to one of the booths. "go play a game or something. win yourself a stuffed animal, and maybe you can give it to the hottie that was at the bar."

he shoots you an unamused reaction.

"bitch, i literally told you it was nothing. and those things are hella rigged."

you don't retaliate with anything; only smile to yourself as you move your focus back to watch the movements in front, gaze trained on the way it swings back and forth, erupting sounds of muffled screams that could belong to either one of the three or maybe all.

it's when you feel mingi shifting in his spot that you turn to him, but his attention already on someone else: a new arrival whose face you've never seen before.

"ayyy, man!" says the stranger, hand colliding with mingi's for some bro handshake.

"hey! didn't think i'd run into you here," mingi replies, laughing off the chance of seeing a friend from school.

"how can i not? entrance is only a dollar today!"

mingi's laughter intensifies at the comment, nodding understandably. that was also the reason minji wanted to come. the park had the special deal only once a month during summer.

"want to tag along? me and some of the guys are just gonna be walking around, checking out some stuff and whatnot." he shrugs.

"ohh..." mingi lets out loosely, neck snapping to you with a delay in his expression. "actually, i came with my friend here and a few others."

he talks like he's informing his friend about why he cannot accept the offer, but it sounds a lot more like he's trying to save face because you're right next to him.

"oh, hey!" his friend suddenly bringing a hand forward to greet, finally grasping your presence all this time and realizing you're not just some random who happens to share a seat with mingi.

"mark. mark lee," he says; your eyes roaming his boyish features that makes him look rather cute.

"y/n," you reply simply with the smallest smile.

"i'm sorry. i didn't realize he's with you." mark rubs his neck awkwardly and even bows a little as an apology.

"oh no." you shake your head. "you two go ahead."

mingi exaggerates the pout on his lips. "aww, i wouldn't want to--"

"--go," you cut him off. "i'll tell the rest when they get back."

"well, if you insist..." he mumbles, standing up and flashing you that goofy smile of his, taking the empty bottle with him. "i'll see you later then."

"yeah, see you later."

"thanks, y/n," mark's the last to speak of the two, both bidding you a goodbye before disappearing into the crowd.

you could never be mad at mingi for simply being a social butterfly, reminiscing all the times in the high school he'd go off with his other group of friends because he made them easily.

whereas you're content only being around people you're very familiar with, mingi enjoys getting to know new individuals; expand his pool beyond just the small circle he's accustomed to.

he can't always be with you and yunho. you guys are a bit boring sometimes. but at the end of the day, he will always return, and the label "best friends" is reserved for none other than you two.

the ride finally comes to a stop shortly after; people getting off at the side and you search until you recognize the three of them, minji signaling with one of her hands up until something else pulls her attention away, fast to drag yunho along to one of the stalls selling some sparkling merchandise.

yeosang is stranded, unsure who to follow, eventually settling on you when he meets your eyes, his hands in his pockets as he make his way over.

"hey," he mumbles the greeting.

"hey," you reply back as casually as possible, like you weren't just dodging him earlier like he's the plague, sticking to mingi the entire time and avoiding any scenarios that would call for an interaction.

"mind if i sit down?"

you shake your head, scooting over to make some space.

he takes the seat, a small grunt leaving his lips as he does so, and both of you don't say anything, the silence consuming for at least a moment; eyes only observing the events happening around you guys.

"so... how was it? the ride," you ask, hesitant at first but feeling like you should try at least. that would only be the right thing to do considering the progress made before.

but it seems like every time you talk to him again, it's always a little awkward at first. you don't know if it's just a quirk that comes when you go from hating each other's guts to being able to somewhat stand the other's presence, or if it's just an effect yeosang has.

"not too bad. i expected more, honestly," he answers, tone lighthearted and a bit amused; just the right direction in order to get you out of your shell again.

"tskk." you hide a tiny smile, scanning over the ride just one more time. "good to hear, i guess."

"yeah. i think you would've enjoyed it, though. too bad you gave up after the third one," he teases, eyes straight forward and all casual as if he isn't trying to poke something.

"at least i made it to the third one. mingi gave up after the second."

he shrugs. "to be fair, it was a spinning teacup."

"we were barely even steering the wheel."

"the third one was a carousel, y/n."

"it was going in circle and making me dizzy!"

he chuckles, shaking his head along.

"you two really are one and the same."

you retract momentarily, not sure how to feel about the comparison to your best friend, but as different as you two are, you're also more alike than you'd think.

"speaking of mingi, where is he?" he searches the area before his gaze falls on you; the swell in them incredibly endearing.

"he went off with some of his friends from campus... the usual."

"and you didn't want to go along?"

"well, i couldn't just leave yunho."

you both immediately shoot to yunho and minji still by the merchandise stall as minji holds up a shirt to yunho's chest for sizing before she picks up a smaller one for herself.

"i think yunho's good," yeosang states the obvious, biting back the amused tone.

you sigh, cranking your neck to admire the night sky with yeosang imitating your posture before he looks at you, a question on the tip of his tongue.

"how's summer so far?"

you pry away to level his gaze, your eyelashes fluttering in motions staring into his own to what seems like forever until you can think of what to say back.

"very good. did you know that you can get a month's supply of free drinks if you complete a rather bizarre challenge?"

he laughs, eyebrows pinched together in confusion.

"i definitely did not. which place?"

"mhmm," you hum, trying to recall the memory of when you read the sign before going in, but unable to remember anything about the place other than it looked like every generic bar you've ever seen on the web but with red lightings.

"i'd have to ask yunho or mingi again, if you're interested."

"doesn't sound like my kind of thing, but i'd be down to see someone else do it."

you smirk, pulling away to inspect the sparks decorating the nightly sky once again, muttering a simple, "we'll see."

minji and yunho have moved to a different stall--one that looks like it sells jewelries; minji catching you in the mass when she turns back to check, waving the bracelet in her hold, and you react with a thumbs up before turning to yeosang's side profile in your view.

"have you visited your parents, yet?"

he nods, eyes lingering on yours and full of confidence as he holds the eye contact as if he plans to do it all night.

"yeah. the first week of break. how about you? thinking of paying your hometown a visit?"

you shake your head in response to the question, the more you think about it, the more you just feel sad. guilty.

you would honestly love to see your hometown again, why wouldn't you? it's where you grew up; lived your whole life, met your friends, and made so many memories.

but where and who would you go back to? your aunt and uncle aren't gonna be exactly excited to see you back, and you don't want to bother mingi's or yunho's family more than you already did.

there's nothing left there for you.

this is your home now; in the comfort of your two best friends who you hope will stick around long enough because you don't have anyone else.

"not any time soon, i don't think. mingi and yunho have other ideas, and then minji has a list of her own."

"i see," he acknowledges. "there's just never a dull moment with those guys, huh?"

"well, to start it off, we haven't even been here that long and i'm already stuck with you. make of that what you will."

"is that a bad thing?" he raises his pitch, but the delivery is playful.

"not at all," you assure.

the assumption that you need someone else by your side in case your best friends run off was ridiculous at first (though not out of reach), but now seeing for yourself that's exactly what happened, it's almost like they knew that would eventually be the case.

but at least yunho was considerate enough and had you in mind when inviting his roommate.

"okay, cool. you made it sound like being with me is some sort of punishment."

you snicker lightly.

"maybe. maybe not," you tease, quick to act aloof and shift your focus to yunho and minji as they grow farther away, completely forgetting the fact they didn't come alone.

but yeosang does a good job of keeping you occupied the way he always does. small comments, a few bickering here and there, and eventually playing catchup again, pouring in your curiosities about each other.

the night starts looking optimistic again just like that; together and carrying on conversations and exchanging gestures effortlessly, you realize there's two things you have forgot.

one being how easy talking to him is, and two being you're not suppose to be talking to him or even interacting by any means.

san only came because wooyoung wouldn't shut up about the once a month deal at an amusement park they have to go to.

after annoying each and every one he considers close to him, he gets san and seonghwa to show; hongjoong too busy even during summer to spare a day to spend with his friends.

he isn't on board at first, really would rather just be home and sleeping the night away, still able to feel some symptoms of his hangover from the day before.

but once they get past the entrance, he notices just how many familiar faces there are, it seems like this summer deal went around fast and just about everyone and their mothers are here.

the guy over there sitting down at one of gaming booths with red veins decorating his forehead, san knows him from biology. and just another couple steps forward that has already taken him to a completely different scene, is the redhead he got to know from one of wooyoung's parties.

then a left turn and three or four bodies pushing past him later, is you and yeosang seated at one of the bench, a bit shielded behind the railing of a ride and the walking of people, but he knows it's you.

that long, straightened hair that falls over your shoulders nicely onto your chest, and a pretty smile on your face while you chat with the boy next to you like you've known him forever.

he sees red; heels digging into the ground and stopping to watch the scene as his knuckles curl together.

"hey, man. you good?" seonghwa's voice take his attention briefly; san's eyes fleeting to meet his and nodding.

"yeah. just looking around for a restroom. hey, look, you two go ahead. i'll call or text after i'm done."

"alright..." seonghwa complies. wooyoung is behind him and skeptical about it all but nods nonetheless, watching as san walks away and pulls out his phone promptly.

~

you kick the air under the seat, swaying your feet back and forth, indulging in the hot summer breeze that glides past your skin; yeosang taking note of the act and once again mimicking you until one of his feet accidentally brushes against yours that earns him a glare, but he laughs it off.

yunho and minji came back once to ask if you guys wanted to look around the shops, but you kindly turned down the offer in order to recover from the dizziness that's still mildly present.

and for yeosang, sitting down and relaxing was a lot more appealing than following behind his friend and his girlfriend.

it's only a few seconds later that you let out a silent snicker, thinking back to the dinner where you guys played footsie under the table; the dynamic you guys had then entirely something else that it brings a subtle smile onto your lips when you think about where you two stands now.

the laspe of comfortable silence is broken when a buzz goes off in the beige crossbody bag you brought along, pulling it into view and grabbing for your phone. the drop in your expression would have yeosang believing you saw a ghost; the manner in which you pale instantly and a nervous gulp travels down your throat.

🟣: hey beautiful. is it okay if i come over tonight? miss you 💕

after you were told to stay away from san, and you, well... didn't, it's just too risky keeping his name even if the chance of mingi or yunho snooping your phone is low, you're not about to test your luck.

so you changed it, to something as simple as his favorite color. quite uncreative but that's the least of your worries.

"what's wrong?" yeosang's concerned tone brings you back, your head whipping up and thrusting the phone back into your bag.

if there's one thing (among others) you're awful at, it's being discreet and not being more incriminating than you already gave away.

"nothing," you reply, faking a faint smile but it's ineffective when yeosang raises a brow in turn, his body language questioning the authencity of your answer, but then who is he to interrogate?

"alright. well, you want to go look for yunho and minji? or is there something else you have in mind?"

"we can go look for them," you tell him, in which he nods, standing up to wait for you.

he leads the way and you trail just a little behind him, trying to shake the text out of your thoughts. you're here with your friends and you're suppose to be having fun. surely, you can answer san later and tell him you were busy.

but another part of you (the one that will truly be your demise) has an itch to answer him; tell him, yes, he can come over tonight. and though you saw him just yesterday, you already miss him as well.

because actually getting out of the comfort of your dorm and bubble you're used to isn't the only thing that has made your summer experience all more different than the school semester.

san has been so good to you lately. he doesn't leave right after sex nor tries to rid of you if it's at his place. he stays and lets you sleep on his chest; listening to the sound of his heart beating--such an intimate act that isn't sexual pricks your own heart in an entirely different way.

he'd tuck you in his arms and allow your head to rest on his shoulder when you're both watching a movie picked by him because you'd always let him choose, so eager to just know more about him and the things he like.

he'd even listen to you when you'd tell him about your day with your friends, and he'd nod and hum like he's digesting each of your words, it made you feel so happy, wishing he wasn't a secret you're keeping to yourself because you two only meet when no one else is around.

seeing yeosang is busy trying to spot the two, you take the chance to rummage for your phone, thumbs pressing the letters as fast as you can and shoving it back, catching yeosang at the perfect time when he whips his head around.

"found them," he announce, and you just nod, attempting to rid the apprehension on your face and hoping he doesn't take notice.

yunho and minji sees the two of you before you fully arrive, smiling warmly and ushering their hands to welcome.

"okay, good. we were just thinking about looking for you guys," says yunho.

the trip is over a lot faster than you had expected, unsure if it was because your brain was on autopilot for the remaining duration, or the fact the carousel once again brought upon a slight headache that probably messed up your sense of time.

being the only one of the bunch to live in the other building, you walk to your room after departing from everyone else, replaying the last conversation you had with yeosang about him going in to take his things and sleeping at another classmate's room for the night since yunho has minji over.

yuna isn't around, not for the usual reasons, but because she left for jeju only a week into summer break, having told you her family's also flying out to kyoto after.

you wished her a good time and joked about getting you a souvenir, but knowing how yuna is, there's a chance she's gonna do it.

feeling dirty and sweaty from the day, you grab a towel to go wash up at the shared shower room, drying your hair once you get back and putting on a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt.

you busy yourself with your phone, even going back to the message you sent san, which he only hearted but didn't reply to.

y/n: you can 😊 i'm just out rn but i will be back later

you wait and wait, eyelids falling more heavy and your blanket turning softer, you almost cave into sleep until a knock at the door gets you up so fast; an adrenaline that courses your body because it can only be one person.

"hi," you greet in a soft voice, growing shy at the man before you.

the quilt stitch sweater and jeans he has on make him look so handsome. but someone like san will always look good regardless of what he wears.

even his slightly messy hair as if he just woke up from a nap can't hide that; especially when he's bareface and flushed in the cheeks.

san gets red easily, and it's something you've noticed and absolutely adore; the color painting him as more pure and innocent.

"hey," he says smoothly, walking in as you back up for some space and waits for him to shut the door behind.

he does a once-over of your current state before one of his hands caresses at your moist hair.

"already showered?"

you nod.

"and you couldn't wait until we get it over with?" he tease with a sly tone, a smirk on his lips.

"you were taking too long."

he chuckles at your answer, expression eventually dwindling down to just a smile.

"it's okay. we can do something else tonight," he says, pausing slightly to think before continuing on. "how about a movie again? you up for that?"

"anything's fine," you agree, really just glad you're able to be with him.

"cool. well, i should probably take a shower first." his eyes bat away suddenly, landing on something else behind you.

"one of those towels yours?"

you confirm with a nod, turning around to retrieve it and handing it to over, a warm smile on him when he accepts.

"okay. you can pick what to watch. i'll be back."

he places a peck to your cheek before sliding himself out the door.

you felt awful about it at first, and you still feel awful about it to an extent--seeing san behind your friends' back when they warned you about just how awful the outcome of it will be, and you even gave them your words.

but after the first week or two of sneaking around with him, some of that feeling kind of just dissipated, replaced by the fear and anxiety of getting caught because you always had trouble lying to mingi and yunho. it just isn't you.

well... it wasn't you before san came into the picture.

but this lie, if it is to ever be discovered, you will not only be risking the friendship, but it will be near impossible to ever gain their trusts again.

for now at least, it won't hurt them if they don't know; though, you're not sure how long you can keep running around like this, but you figure you might as well go the full mile until you can't anymore.

from the previous movie nights you two shared, you learned that san likes a lot of superhero movies--something you didn't expect but intrigued you greatly, you even took time to learn their names and origins so you could talk with him about it and not be in utter confusion when he'd refer to someone or something.

you want to pick something he likes; something you know he'll be into, but worrying that you'll wind up picking such an incredibly lame superhero movie since you're not that knowledgeable about the genre, you decide to choose something you're more familiar with.

and because you're a bit of a hopeless romantic, you just have to settle for a romance flick.

"so, what is this film about?" san asks, still damped from the shower, sitting next to you and smelling of soap and shampoo.

you bite the side of your lips and hum out the thinking process.

"i'm not too familiar with the plot either, but i heard it's good."

he simply nods. "let's do it, then."

the movie plays on the laptop situated on both of your laps, and you nuzzle your head on his shoulder; the movie definitely is interesting and one you'd find yourself enjoying if you weren't so tired, still managing to process what's on the screen but not what's happening.

you don't even respond to some of san's comments because they completely fly over your head, but he doesn't seem to care, rather opting to laugh at your state.

but it's not his laughter or the loud fan overworking to rid the summer heat that jolts you awake. it's when you realize a quite explicit sex scene is happening--one you have no clues or ideas of how it came to be.

just that you're flustered in the face because this is the movie you chose to watch with san, and he has noticed your reaction immediately, unable to help the smirk that crawls out.

"if you wanted to do it, you could've just asked."

you release your head from his shoulder at that and scoff it off.

"i didn't even know the movie had one."

because no matter how many times you sleep with him, the subject will always catch you a little offguard; and especially when you weren't even thinking about it.

it's still san and he still makes you feel like a giddy school girl.

but although he enjoys the reaction, the one thing hanging on his mind ever since he saw you back at the park still hasn't left: yeosang.

why were you talking to him again, and why did you look so happy doing so? of course, the request was in the moment; him too jealous and taking his anger out on you, but so far, you seemed to have complied.

he don't think you saw anyone else besides him but your friends, because between the trip to his house and the nights he'd spend in your room, that was all you had to talk about.

he's not cruel enough (give or take) to keep tabs on you, and you also don't come off as someone who would lie to him because he knows you're always too sweet and too easy to persuade.

"where did you go earlier?" he asks, the abrupt question throwing you off as he just switches the topic of conversation like it's his nature. as if he doesn't know where you were, but he couldn't think of any other way to bring it up.

"i was with mingi and yunho, at that amusement park that had the summer deal everyone kept talking about."

your response is surprisingly relaxed, totally unprepared for the next question that leaves his mouth because after all, you have no idea he was there himself and saw you with his own eyes.

"just them?" he tries to keep from letting the bitterness slip, the image of you and yeosang once again consuming his thoughts.

"well, and yunho's girlfriend. she came to visit."

"hmm," he hums an unsatisfied tone and nods his head, not a single words uttered after, probably because he has a feeling sooner or later, you will slip up from the guilt--which is very much sooner.

"y-yeosang was there, too," you admit, maybe feeling slightly guilty but not to an extensive point because you didn't do anything wrong. not with yeosang. "yunho invited him along."

"oh..." san almost sang, mirth dancing in his eyes.

"yeah... we just talked and stuff."

and stuff. san would've laugh if not for the pang of jealousy that runs through his system at how vague you're being. if you're quite literally trying to protect whatever you have with this guy.

"and what do you think about him?" he lets the envy talk, not sure anymore about being discreet but just that he wants to know what you and yeosang have.

the fact you actually ponder the question for longer than you should is concerning, because the truth is, you have really warmed up to him, always skeptical at first but finding out there was nothing to worry about.

you feel comfortable being with him just as you'd feel being with mingi or yunho. in short, yeosang is a friend. yeah... he's like a friend to you at this point... you think.

"mingi and yunho really likes him, and he's been pretty good to me so far," you tell san, looking up at him and trying if you can read into his reaction but he just gives you those stiff eyes before following it with faint smirk.

"you like him?" one of his eyebrows quirk up, anticipation written all over them because he finds enjoyment in how you recoil immediately before shaking your head.

"not like that," you almost hissed, flustered san even asked.

and it may have sound a bit ridiculous to you, but for someone like san who has been around, he will say he has a pretty good grasp on what exactly girls find attractive, and he can say yeosang is a good looking guy.

he's just a tinier bit bulkier than him and definitely looks a lot more approachable with his softer features and probably nerd tendencies, because san is more of a one time thing, and yeosang is likely someone you'll be tied to for life. girls love that.

well... girls like you. which is why he won't be surprise if you have some kind of hots for yeosang with the amount of times you've been spending with him.

"he looks like he definitely has a crush on you." his gaze peers into yours for a stare down, because he's willing to bet yeosang shares some of the same sentiment back.

you're just way too sweet, soft-spoken, nice, pretty--

"not true," you deny. "we didn't start on good terms and had a lot of misunderstanding. we barely just started talking to each other normally not that long ago."

"so you don't like him at all? not even in a i-kind-of-wanna-kiss-you way?"

you shake your head, this time more aggressive than the one before.

"no. why? you sound like you want me to like him."

he chuckles, the utter puzzlement on your face too cute for its own good, the jealousy and bitterness from before dissolving at that.

"just want to make sure, baby," he coos, pulling you into his arms and wrapping them around your body warmly, the side of your face hitting against his chest; the thump of his heartbeat in your ear.

"want to make sure i'm the only one on your mind," he repeats as you draw back to gawk at him, tracing the innocent smile decorating his lips.

"i'm sorry that i didn't tell you sooner about yeosang," you apologize, your eyes so pure and full of sincerity--such a contrast to his that holds a million other intentions behind them.

"it's fine. i know now," he affirms, and you're just glad it's over with, because though you can't really understand why he doesn't like yeosang (also because there's nothing to worry about when it comes to your feelings for him), you wouldn't want to upset san.

a silence sit between you two after, a stare off ensuing as you keep your gaze up and sniff the freshly showered scent from him that sneaks past your nose again.

"would you like to go on a trip?" he asks, snapping you out of the trance.

"a trip?"

he confirms with a nod.

"a trip out of the city."

the excuse you managed to come up with was that the school you're working for has a summer program and you're gonna be away for a while; the lie slipping out of your mouth so fast, it's sickening how it's almost a habit at this point.

having told them you will be gone for a week (because that's how long san said the trip is gonna be), you encouraged them to carry out the rest of the plans on minji's list without you.

it was hard to look them in the eye when they cheered you on and wished you the best because you won't be taking a cab to the school but to the boy who promised you a week of fun somewhere out of the city he still hasn't told you the name of.

he only brought a lone duffel bag, throwing it into the back of his car before helping you with your rusty suitcase that is rather light since you figured you can just recycle a few outfits. it's not like you have much to choose from.

even when you're sitting right next to him in his car, eyes sticking to his side profile as he starts driving, it still feels like a very vivid dream--being with him in a place that isn't your dorm or his apartment.

the very fact he asked you to come is mind-boggling as it is, but it's no use to linger on the thought; just be happy for the opportunity and enjoy the moment while it lasts.

he warns you ahead of time that it's going to be a long drive; no words on how long exactly, but long.

the conversation is tame, a few comments from him here and there as he passes a couple places he frequents before turning the music on. and you would be lying to yourself if you haven't thought of it before--what kind of music does choi san like and listens to?

it's not much and is very bland in comparison to the backlog of questions you wish you could ask him, but you believe someone's music taste can tell a lot about a person, their preferences, and even your compatibility.

it's not a secret you look at san through a rose-coloured glass and still do, wondering to yourself if he listens to some exquisite genre you've never heard of before just because he's choi san and anything in relation to him will always amaze you.

but after all, he's still just a guy. a really hot and attractive guy who is somehow giving you the time of his day, but knowing he doesn't listen to some hidden genre only people like him would know makes him a little more reachable, relatable; that in some ways, he's also like you.

it's a mix of trendy pop and ballad songs that you know the lyrics to if you're to sing along. but when san said it's going to be a long drive, he wasn't kidding.

you knock out halfway, the memory of mumbling the lyrics to a girl group song the last thing you remember before it goes black.

when san wakes you up later, you have no idea where you are. just that the sky is turning dark and you're parked at what looks to be a small neighborhood, able to spot about three houses down the street.

"you good?" san speaks, your head snapping to him before nodding, at the same time attempting to fight the tiredness.

he smiles at your exhausted state, unbuckling himself from the seat.

"we can start heading out and get our things," he tells you before opening the door and you follow behind shortly after, unable to help the awe that leaves you when observing the surrounding now that you're not just seeing it through the window of the car.

a clear street in the middle of a couple houses that are all white but has slight brown roofings; the style and the trees in the area makes you feel as if you've entered an enchanted forest that holds a series of cottages.

it's only when san unlocks the back that you finally pry away from the scenery, walking over to where he is to get your suitcase.

"where are we?" you ask.

"namhae," he answers with a proud smile on his face, shutting the trunk.

"namhae?" you repeat, having heard of the place before somewhere in one of your classes in high school or something. it's a coastal region, you also remember that.

"yes," he confirms as you follow behind him to the door, watching as he pulls out a few keys that's stringed together. "my dad was born here."

you twitch in interest at the revelation, following him into the inside of the house that is a bit misleading and not at all decorated like a fairytale, but in rather simple and clean white. from the walls to the marble flooring, and even the ceiling fan hanging above the big open space.

"you can put your things upstairs. the bedroom should be to the right. i'm just gonna check the back real quick."

you follow what he tells you to, trailing up the spiral staircase into the small indoor balcony overlooking the living room protected by a white railing.

the bedroom is also simple and follows a similar color scheme, two nightstands on each side and a medium-sized dresser right across the bed.

a window with curtains is the only other thing in the room, and everything looks entirely new, not a single sheet wrinkled, as if the place has never been used before. you think about how san even got the place, if it's an airbnb though you don't see a host around. but then, you've never had an experience with an airbnb so how would you know.

by the time you're done unpacking and stuffing your clothes into the dresser, you still haven't heard anything from san.

you go back down the stairs and head for the sliding glass door, a stylistic choice that is completely different from the front, taking yourself out into the air of the evening, amazement befalling you once again just at the new sight.

san is leaning on the fence overlooking the view ahead of him, and you start making way over, stepping around the pool because he seems to have already taken notice of you the second you closed the door.

once you settle next to him, your breath is taken away instantly. you can see the ocean from here; the waves hitting against each other and producing a sound surprisingly soothing to the ear. it's beautiful.

it just hits you the house is built on a hill, the way it looms over the landscape and looks at it from above.

"i haven't been here in such a long time," he says, your eyes batting to him.

"it's really beautiful," you add.

"it is."

you both admire the sight for a few seconds too long, the cool air from the ocean flowing to mix with the warmer one, creating a sea breeze that sweeps your hair away and make you shiver with how the cold pricks your skin.

"we should probably head back inside. i still have some unpacking to do."

you nod, taking note of the orange tone painting the sky along with a deeper blue as everything falls into an ambient darkness.

the first day in namhae spent settling in and familiarizing yourselves with the environment (even san because he hasn't been here in a while), wandering the interior of the house while he sorts out his things upstairs.

when finished, he urges you to wash yourself and go to bed early, informing you of the day waiting ahead tomorrow.

and after he's done following the routine as well, plopping down on the bed as you observe his movements, it comes so naturally that he sleeps facing you, a smile on his lips that makes something deep in your stomach sink.

if this is okay--being with san like this and in such a way that's different from any others--yet, you still can't help but to also feel a small amount of happiness from it all.

"goodnight," he whispers, lounging forward to set a kiss on your forehead.

"goodnight," you reply, a small smile on that dims along with the nightlight he turns off.

~

you're alone when you wake up; san isn't next to you and it's quiet, no other signs that he could be downstairs or in another part of the house.

the sun peeks through the blinds and hurts your eyes, having to squint the brightness away before you head with soft steps out into the small space that is barely a hallway and into the bathroom to make yourself more presentable for this fine morning.

you thought he might be out in the back but he's also not there, deciding to busy yourself with preparation for breakfast instead, but only met with disappointment when you open the fridge to nothing; a deep sigh leaving you followed by the creak of the front door.

"hey," he greets in a high-pitched voice, delighted by your figure standing in the kitchen.

"good morning," you say in a sweet tone, doing a once-over of him in his usual casual wear with dark parted hair, face bare and skin flaming that red tint that makes him so cute.

"i just went for my morning jog and talked to a couple neighbors from around the block. they seem nice."

you smile and nod.

"i see. i was just about to make breakfast but there isn't anything in the fridge, it looks like."

is it weird to assume a place you just checked into last night would have all kinds of fresh ingredients layed out for you? you have no idea.

"oh, yeah," he exclaim, "i haven't stocked up on it, yet. was planning on doing it today. we can hit the store after i change out of my clothes?"

you nod again, almost too eagerly.

"yes, we can do that."

it might just be your infatuation and lovesick mind speaking, but san even makes such a mundane task like shopping for grocery, enjoyable.

watching as he just so casually strolls into one of the aisles and pick up something from the shelves, you wonder how it's possible someone like him just walk around breathing and looking like that everyday.

"do you like rolled omelette?" he asks.

"i love rolled ommelete."

it was pretty much a staple for you back then. didn't require much and was fast and simple to make, though you did went through a period of withdrawal from it because sometimes, that would be the only thing you ate for days.

"cool."

he grabs a few other essentials but tells you if there's anything missing, you guys can just order delivery or maybe visit a nearby restaurant. it's only when he already finished paying for everything that you realize all this time, you haven't done jackshit to help him.

"how much was it? we can split the bills," you offer on the way to the car.

he chuckles, almost laughing loudly.

"my treat, y/n. don't worry about it."

but all this time, he's been doing and paying for everything, the guilt is not easy to shake off.

"but i feel bad." you frown, and he smirks at the adorable act that just comes so effortlessly to you, he don't even think you're aware of the possible hold you have on him.

"then you cook," he says with something mischievous and playful but also flirty, "i know you're probably good at it."

you take up the alternative, making yourself comfortable in the kitchen while he goes in and out of it, always spewing comments that would make your heart leap inside your chest with his flirty smiles and hands that find its way around your waist and every other parts of your body like it was made to be there.

he eats with you at the counters and won't stop gushing out compliments as if you just made the most complex dish out there and absolutely nailed it.

your reaction is a combination of rolling your eyes, telling him he's being dramatic, and battling the shy smile at his words that truly makes you feel so giddy on the inside.

you're absolutely adorable, he thinks. it's a bit crazy how long he's gone without touching you when he's had every chance to; when you're laying yourself out like this, he just wants to make you feel good the best way he knows how to.

which is why the following day, after walking around the neighborhood together and watching a couple older films, he suddenly suggests the idea of going to the pool.

"i don't know how to swim," you confess, which he just chuckles in return.

"i'll teach you. it's humid as fuck, we might as well put the thing to use."

"i didn't bring anything to wear for the occasion, though."

"what you're wearing is fine," he alludes to the crop top and shorts you have on. "unless you want to change into something even more revealing?" he smirks, not the slightest doubt that you'll look sexy as fuck in a bikini or swimsuit. but this will do, considering how hard you made him this morning just seeing your top ride up to display your stomach.

"i'm good," you say, even giggling a little before he sweeps you away by the wrist out into the back, the temperature a lot cooler due to the ocean breeze but that still doesn't mean you can't dip your toes into the pool. and that isn't going to stop san, either.

the dark hour is lit up by the hanging outdoor lights and the inground ones close to the fences.

"come on." he rips his shirt away while you gawk, jumping into the pool and making splashes, the sound of his body plunging into the pressure loud against the quiet night.

a smile tugs on your lips at the sight and you settle for sitting down on the edge instead, sinking half of your legs into the water that is surprisingly a lot warmer than you had expected.

you watch him go a few rounds across the pool before he lands right back to where he was, hair and face now wet, facing you.

"you can do more than that." he swipes a handful of hair back while saying so, proceeding to stare at your feet underwater kicking only slightly.

he's hot as fuck and his body will always amaze you no matter how many times you see it.

"i'll just watch," you say.

he pouts and tilts his head to the side, in hope you'll feel guilty enough to give in.

"it's not that deep," he adds onto the convincing.

but seeing how the water stops just short of his shoulders, there's a good chance you'll be spending your time in there choking because you're so much shorter than he is.

you're just about to say something when the sudden wetness felt on your face and drenching your clothes stop you. san is smirking as one of his hands continue to flick the water at you, and you pause momentarily before kicking the water under your feet at a much harsher speed towards him.

he's the one to laugh first and you follow after, your laughters bunching together to create a heartfelt moment that warms you unlike any other interactions you've ever had with him.

"alright alright. i'll come in," you give in, sending just one last kick of water to his face that makes him giggle.

you spring in carefully until almost your entire body is wet, and well, you were right. it comes up to just a little above your chin, treading carefully until san finally takes the initiative, both his grip on your hips and helping you withstand the possibility of swallowing a few drips.

"you good?" he asks.

"yeah," you reply, but you hold onto his shoulders just in case, checking the area around, grunting when he pulls you into his chest that gets you to blink up.

he looks unreal in this lighting that only makes his skin glow more from the pool water.

"how about now?" he whispers, that seductive and teasing color in his voice that always make you shutter in excitement.

"good," you answer all innocent eyes and with a sweet tone but you've been wanting him as much as he's been wanting you.

the days and times of being with each other, doing everyday tasks and even sleeping side by side at night, and it's now that choi san is half naked and in a pool that you think you're ready to have sex with him again.

it's a short stare off until his hands creep to the sides of your face and he takes your lips in for a deep kiss, the grip you have on his shoulders tightening along with the intimate act.

he kisses you like it's going to be the last time, like he's trying to savor the taste so he can remember it for the rest of his life.

your hands fall from his shoulders to his bare chest, your fingers drawing messy patterns on it, and he removes one hand to circle your waist in order to pull you up when he feels you faltering into the water.

he draws back after a few more seconds and looks you in the eyes.

"do you want to?" the question always foreign to his tongue, having never asked anyone but you before.

"yes."

"then i should probably head back to get a condom."

you shake your head and prevent him from going, the itch between your legs now speaking.

"you can pull out?"

ever since the first time you guys had unprotected sex, there's been two or three other similar instances--san having told you how much better it feels, but condoms is still a priority.

the topic of birth controls come and go. he didn't pressure you or anything, just subtly suggested it, but that's still just a consideration for now.

he can't help but to smirk, not at all going to resist because there's absolutely no way he will let up the offer of fucking you raw.

"you asked for it, baby," he leans to whisper into your ear, pulling back in amusement at the light tint across your cheeks, growing hard from thinking about sex in the pool--one of the places he haven't done the deed in--yet. and the rest of the night is history.

he fucks you in the pool, your hands hanging onto the edge as he takes it from behind, and he fucks you one more time in the shower when you two go to wash off the chemical.

it's by far one of the most amazing sex you've ever had with him; if not, the most amazing for sure.

by the end of the night when you're both trying to sleep away the exhaustion, a dull pain resides in the deep of your chest staring at his closed eyes and unmoved lips.

~

the glass of wine in your hand looks like it's on the verge of spilling from how loose you're holding onto it while laughing at something san said.

he's laughing too, but you can't see his expression well due to the darkness; the only source of lights being the two scented candles he had lit up standing on the coffee table.

there's a jazz song playing quietly in the background, and everything about the scene and situation feels like it was taken straight out of a romance film.

you're mostly just tipsy while san is probably drunk, having drank more than you and is a lot more bubbly than he usually is, recounting stories he most likely wouldn't tell you if he was sober.

"that's crazy," you comment.

"it is," he says, taking another sip from his glass.

but whether he's more drunk than you or not, the alcohol is doing a good job of loosening the both of you up; questions running rounds in your head again that you might act upon.

"hey, san..." you mumble.

"yes?"

"were you born here?"

he shakes his head.

"my parents moved to seoul before i was born."

and because san is most definitely drunk, he's also more willing to answer them.

"do you have any siblings?"

"i have an older sister, but she's now living in the states. no longer here in korea."

"oooh," you sing, afraid you might be pushing the boundaries but your tipsy mouth a lot bolder and less fearful of the consequences.

"what do you like to do? what are your passions?"

you've thought about it before, and you still do. aside from being a walking wet dream, who is choi san? what does he like to do, what are his fears, his dreams, things he likes or dislikes? what makes him the person that he is?

it's like you know him, but you also don't, since most of the things you do know are very surface level.

"i'm not sure," is all he says, a small sigh of disappointment escaping from you that goes unheard. "i wanted to major in dance and performance, but..."

"but?"

"but i can't make a living or lifestyle out of it. so i didn't."

you frown at the pessimism.

"but you should still do what you enjoy, no?"

and he just laughs, downing another sip as you stare at him, the light in your eyes slowly dying. being drunk means he's also going to be a lot more honest; blunt.

"i just don't see the point in doing so if it isn't going to be worth it. i'm not gonna spend four years only to get a useless degree, no matter how passionate i am about the hobby."

you can't help the dejection that possesses you at his words.

“even if i answer, it won’t matter.”

you wonder if this is how he views the world--brushing aside things he sees that has little importance, and not trying when the outcome isn't going to benefit him.

you can be a bit of a pessimist at times, but if there's an opportunity, you think it's always worth trying. life is so much more than running away and not taking chances, but that could also just be you clinging onto anything because you've had nothing for so long.

"don't let it bother you too much," he snaps you out of your thoughts after the sadness that pierced your eyes become overwhelming.

he puts the glass that is now empty onto the table.

"i'm gonna go wash up."

~

along the things you brought on the trip, you also managed to squeeze in your notebook, taking it out silently under the clothes where you have buried it when you see san is fast asleep.

you take the chance to use your phone as lighting, jotting down an entry before sliding the book back to where you got it from.

entry #7

talking with san today made me really think... is it hopeless and not worth it if you can't be sure of the result? i don't know. i was definitely scared when i finally took up on yeosang's suggestion and talked to a counselor, opting out of a major i'm no longer passionate about in order to go into creative writing. maybe that's cowardice of me to not give it another chance, but i'd like to think i'm trying, by exploring my interests and opening the door to something i might enjoy doing.

san wanted to take you out to the local market after having spent most of your time indoor.

there's many vendors all around, some kids running through the streets and parents behind shouting their names. it's very lively that it's quite pressuring because you're not sure where to start.

"we can shop for something to cook for dinner?" he asks, glancing back at your figure behind him.

"yes, we can do that."

you follow him the entire time, going from vendor to vendor and letting him do his thing since he's more familiar with the place and people--of which there's a lot, some even brushing past your shoulders due to how crowded it is (also doesn't help that the place is quite small).

san tells you it's unusually busy today although the traffic is moderate every other day.

he takes the lead as you both stroll in a straight line to a vendor all the way at the far corner because he saw something he wants to purchase. then it happens so fast.

one minute you were still right behind him, and another--you're gone. san only realizing he's lost you when he swings his head back to do a quick check and you're nowhere to be found.

a sense of panic surges through his body, his eyes batting left and right to search for you but it's nearly impossible with this many people, he's not even sure how long you've been gone exactly.

he thinks about calling you, only to curse internally when he remember that you decided to leave your phone back at the house.

turning his feet back around, he goes to search for you, no idea whose shoulders he's knocking into or which direction the curses at him are coming from. just that he needs to find you.

it takes him at least five minutes of shoving through the crowd until he spots that familiar head of hair and outfit, your body bending forward and picking at something on your leg.

"y/n!" he shouts, grabbing your attention as you pick your head up to look at him, your eyes swelling with hope.

but his face twists instead when he sees what you were picking at. a fresh bruise on your right knee that's starting to bleed, he runs to you so fast until he's only inches away, anxiety all over his face.

"what happened?" he asks, volume high like he wants the answer right this instant.

"i was looking for you and i just fell. that's it."

he sighs and shake his head.

"can you walk?"

you try by taking just a step forward, only to whimper in pain.

he seizes the bag you were holding and turns his back to face you, lowering his height and ushering you to get on.

you're hesitant at first but you don't think you can win san, so you hop on and circle your arms around his neck as he moves through the tight open spaces to an area near the entrance where there's less people, setting you down on the edge of an old fountain.

he places the bags on the side of you and gets down on his knees to get a better look at the injury.

"it looks bad," he says, looking up at you. "we can return to the house. i can treat you there."

"you sure you don't want to buy anything else?"

"i'm good. it's too packed here anyways."

the drive back to the house is quiet, you have never seen san so serious like this before. it's only when you're almost there that he finally speaks.

"i'm sorry. i should've held your hand or something. or even let you walk first."

"it's fine, san. we both wouldn't have been able to see it coming."

he piggyback you inside the house again, completely forgetting about the bags still inside the car.

settling you gently onto the couch, you watch as he speeds upstairs into the bathroom before coming back with a first aid kit, bending in front of you.

"just letting you know ahead of time, i've never used this thing before."

you chuckle and assure him it's okay, staying still so obediently while he dabs some of the blood off and wraps the bruised area with elastic bandages.

"your friends are going to kill me once they find out not only did i take you somewhere four hours away, but i also hurt you during the process."

you chuckle again at the comment, though a lot quieter this time, staring down at him with a question that's been hanging at the edge of your lips ever since he brought you here.

"san," you call out sweetly, making him pull away from the injury and to your eyes instead.

"may i ask why you decided to bring me?" out of eveyone else.

your question must've snapped him back pretty hard; from how the tiny smile on his lips falter and he just stares at you dumbfoundedly, because even he's not sure about a definite answer.

it could be that he likes being with you since you're so sweet and nice, or that he's selfish and wanted you all to himself--away from your friends, and especially away from yeosang.

"because i'm comfortable around you," he simply says, a lazy answer that he knows you're most definitely not convinced by although you're smiling in return.

"i-uh... i gotta go back to get the bags inside the car." he awkwardly points behind him to the door, and you just nod, so conflicted by what just happened.

choi san being so tender and caring is dangerous and not good. especially when you live in your head so much--detaching yourself from reality and dreaming of another one where things go how you want.

you can blame yuna's stupidly good arts that watches you through the nights more often than not; that painting of love displayed in front of a castle feeding ridiculous ideas into your head. but it's how you deal with all the traumas and hurts in your life.

by detaching, distracting, and hoping.

hoping that the look in san's eyes that were filled with concerns and worries mean he's starting to feel something because that's the way you see it.

the past couple of days being tucked in his arms and spoken to with sweet words even though you know it shouldn't be taken seriously, you can't help the story that builds itself in your mind--especially when he says one thing and then does another.

~

san's been trying to sleep for hours now, but he's unable to, the image of you so haunting whenever you'd look at him in a way he doesn't like at all.

even right now--your arms that are wrapped around his waist, he wants to pull them off--and your face that is in his chest, he wants to push you away; distance himself--because he's starting to get used to your touch.

to how natural you fit in his arms and how easy everything is with you; the passion to learn more about him irritating his nerves to no end but also warms his heart in a weird way.

he had slipped up earlier when you got hurt, he must've looked so insane because even he caught himself offguard with how worried he was.

one more day alone with you is already too many; these past couple of nights already overstayed their welcome, and so he does the only thing he knows how to: he runs away.

~

the sun is blinding the curtains when you're awake, getting up to lean against the headboard but groaning out when the pain from your leg reminds you of yesterday's event.

everything about san's appearance in front of you brings another series of questions.

he's properly dressed so early in the morning, folding his clothes and packing them into his bag.

"hey," you greet, unsure if he knows you've already woke up.

"hey."

"going somewhere?"

there's a quick silence that gauges the air before he answers you.

"we're going to be returning back to seoul."

"oh?" you raise an eyebrow. "i thought we still have two more days left, no?"

he tries to think of a lie, the first thing to pop in his mind is the one to leave his mouth.

"just got an emergency family call and they need me there by today."

"oh, okay." you just lightly nod. "i'll start packing too, then."

"yeah."

because one more day alone with you is already too many.

next // series m.list

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[outrunningthedark]

Japril!!! I will forever be grateful for Jesse Williams fighting for April to be the one Jackson went to Boston with and not allowing what was originally planned to happen (apparently Krista was going to have April pregnant with Matthew's baby and Jackson was going to deliver it? Ugh)

Nonnie, I apologize in advance because I'm about to yell at everyone. In a good way, though. I have to laugh whenever people act like Ryan and Oliver are fighting for Buddie behind the scenes because I've (we've) SEEN what fighting looks like thanks to Jesse and Sarah. (all caps for emphasis) SARAH DREW WROTE A LETTER TO KRISTA ASKING HER TO CHANGE APRIL'S EXIT BECAUSE IF SHE COULDN'T BE WITH JACKSON SHE'D RATHER HER CHARACTER BE SINGLE: "I always, always wanted her to end up with Jackson, especially after they had their baby."

April's marriage to Matthew, in the end, felt "rushed" and adds that she and Williams, who left Grey's last season, had "great chemistry."

"I just didn't believe it, because we hadn't seen anything on-screen between [April and] Matthew in that final season," Drew says in the book.

She also reveals she went so far as to pen a letter to showrunner Krista Vernoff asking her to change the ending.

"I even wrote a very passionate letter to Krista after I read that final episode saying 'Can she just walk off? Like maybe kiss him and walk off into the distance doing something as an independent woman? Like, why does she need a man?' [x]

JESSE WILLIAMS WOULD GO TO SET WITH NOTES IN HIS SCRIPTS FOR HOW HE THOUGHT THE EARLY JAPRIL SCENES SHOULD GO: While most TV couples come together because of dialogue written on the page, Japril's beginning is in the margins. And from the second the "Grey's Anatomy" writers decided to give Jackson and April a shot, Williams and Drew told Insider the two of them were fully committed to the story — maybe even a little too much. 

"I remember you showed up with a whole marked-up script with script ideas," Drew laughed, recalling Williams' eagerness to get their first intimate scenes together during the medical boards on season eight right. 

THEY WERE PITCHING A SERIES BASED ON THE WEDDING: Their love was genuine but their choice to get married was impulsive. So their newlywed phase was marred with fights where TV couples are usually allowed a bit of romance. Drew said that she and Williams worked hard to try and fill in gaps for the audience, some of which never came to fruition. 

"We had a whole pitch for an entire series based on that road trip," Drew said of the few scenes we see of Japril traveling together to get married after April runs away from her wedding to Matthew. Williams confirmed that their series pitch is why "Unbreak My Heart" exists. 

AND THEN WHEN JESSE WAS LEAVING AND THE OPPORTUNITY TO REUNITE JAPRIL CAME UP, SARAH DREW WASN'T LETTING ANYBODY FUCK AROUND:

"The pitch that was given to me was April was super pregnant with Matthew's baby and Matthew wasn't home when Jackson came to the house to pitch April on the idea of going to Boston with him," Drew wrote of the original plot for April's return episode. "There was a storm outside and Jackson had to deliver April's baby at the house, and through this whole experience, April decided to bring her whole family to Boston with Jackson." 

"Jesse and I talked about it and thought it would be more satisfying to the audience if they were left with some hope for Japril reuniting," Drew wrote to Insider. "Jesse pitched that to the writers and the writers agreed — and then the story shifted."

[all three quotes can be found here] Who needs an instagram like when you have actors writing LETTERS expressing disappointment??? Not caring who they piss off in the process??? (And if you know Grey's, you KNOW they pissed off KV just by watching how it went.) WHEN WILL YOUR OTP EVERRR????? (OURS DID 😁)

[therummesoccupied]

FANG THE HUNTER: ISSUE #4 - THOUGHTS

I know! I'm very late! I'm sorry!

It's just... I can't think of a ton to say about this one that I didn't already say about the other three.

The writing is good, there are lots of neat character moments, art is stretchy and fun with plenty of visual inspiration from the games... yeah, it's cool!

Some specific points I'd like to note, though...

I do really love this scene where Fang just straight-up yoinks the Heavy Shinobi's katana and KO's him with it. It's the kind of thing I wouldn't normally think SEGA would allow, since we haven't really seen any character use a sword in canon since Black Knight (if Black Knight is even canon, for that matter).

Perhaps its the anime kid in me, but that was rad as hell.

I've seen a few folks complain about this moment - namely after Fang's proclamation that "Nobody takes what's mine" back in Issue 2, but... I dunno, I think it's fine.

Firstly, the situations are not equivalent. This isn't really a case of somebody "taking" Bark from him as much as him choosing to leave Bark behind.

Secondly, a big part of this comic's story has been the growing strain on the Hooligans' relationship as the story has gone on. His feelings about the other two have certainly changed since then.

Thirdly, I think he pretty clearly... doesn't mean it?? Like, all it takes is Bean looking at him funny and he decides to go help Bark out.

I dunno, this does not seem like a huge deal to me.

I also really like the fight between Bark and the Heavy King.

With the detail they add to Bark accruing damage over the course of their brawl and the little bits of lighting and shadow they add to him, they manage to make Bark look... kinda badass?

Like, I get he was always meant to be a cool fighty guy, but he's also always had that Silly Classic Sonic verneer over him that keeps him from seeming too... I dunno, COOL!

I'm just glad they even went the length to add this little bit of visual intensity.

Speaking of Bean and Bark, though, I must regretfully acknowledge that what I predicted did ultimately come to pass...

The Hooligans have broken up.

(Also I keep seeing Sonic YouTubers refer to them as the "Hoodlums?" That's... not their name? Whatever, it's just weird.)

Anyway, I actually really enjoy this move. It's not often in IDW we get to have a tale end in tragedy, so it's nice to see the conclusion here be so bitter. These are three characters we've been used to seeing together for YEARS, even before IDW Sonic began, and now, they're no more.

Maybe they'll have a heartwarming reunion someday, but thus far, this split has even carried over into the games, as we've seen in Sonic Superstars.

Speaking of Superstars...

That's how our comic ends - with Fang setting off for Northstar Island to begin the plot of Sonic Superstars!

In the time since this issue came out, I've learned this move was fairly controversial, but I dunno, I found it neat! This is the first time I can think of that we've had the plot of IDW play directly into a specific game!

They haven't firmly established if or when stuff like Team Sonic Racing or Sonic Frontiers happens within the comic yet (my personal headcanon is that neither have occured up to this point) so it's cool to see the IDW story so clearly connect itself to the games this way.

It's also neat to see IDW's Classic Era link itself to the Modern Era with Fang ending up in possession of the Warp Topaz, which of course, we will later see appear in the hands of Dr. Starline. I already did my big rant about how much I LOVE the Warp Topaz being here and how it has firmly gotten me onboard the Unified Timeline now, but it's still a very cool note to end on.

It does leave me asking a few questions, though?

Firstly, if Fang has the Warp Topaz at the beginning of Superstars' plot... why doesn't he... use it? I can't think of a single time he teleports or warps around in that game. Heck, his ace in the hole is a big mech of himself that doesn't appear to do anything of the sort.

Then... how does it end up in the cave where Starline finds it? Was there some form of confrontation between Starline and Fang we'll never get to see?

And wouldn't that be SICK??

As weird as the choice to end the story with Fang in possession of the Warp Topaz was, I'm pretty happy with how this miniseries came out! I really hope that, in the future, we get more arcs like this centered around specific members of the games cast.

I like the IDW cast just fine, but... c'mon. You KNOW that's not who we're picking up the comic to see.

The book tells me everything I need to know about them just by the way it puts them in the story.

The reason I love arcs like this and Scrapnik Island is because they take the characters I'm already familiar with from my time with the games - Fang and Mecha Sonic - and tells me things I didn't know about them, puts them in situations I've never seen them in before. Takes stuff I know from the games and EXPANDS upon it!

All in all, this is up there with Scrapnik Island and Chao Races & Badnik Bases as my favorite arcs in the series.

With Fang in the rear view, we head back to the Modern era for the Phantom Riders arc, the first issue of which is already out, and I hope to talk about it before the next one is released this time.

Thanks for reading!

[thegeminisage]

it's time for!!! a ds9 update <3 wow <333 last night we watched "past prologue" and "a man alone."

past prologue:

FIRST OF ALL, THAT LITTLE GAY DOCTOR

idk what i expected but the scene i've seen gifs of was the VERY FIRST ONE right out of the gate. i was so thrilled. for some reason garak is WAY different than i expected. like, he's just as gay, of COURSE, but for some reason i expected him to be like...meaner. and instead he's sooooo friendly and he's also a fucking tailor. julian bashir needs a new fucking suit.

that said, bashir is so slow on the uptake literally all of the time. the suit thing and something in the other episode that i forgot. king how can you be a doctor when you are so stupid...not that i'm complaining. i wouldn't change it for anything. he's so funny.

HILARIOUS that immediately after he has any clandestine conversations w garak he has to IMMEDIATELY run to the "bridge" and tell everybody about it. he gets so excited. he really is hilarious i don't think he's done a single thing so far that wasn't funny. the fact that he was late to this little party also sir get it together

i think this ep had excellent character stuff for kira, who we've only known 5 minutes. it sets up her history and her current position so well, and her conflict of interests is such a real and tangible thing that i felt awful for her. like you knew from the beginning that guy was gonna betray her but OUCH. ending the ep on her getting called a traitor was Such a choice.

i also loved her little scene with odo..."i don't do pretense" alright autism king. and yet he talked her through it and then sort of took the decision out of her hands at the end (which was a very compassionate thing to do) when it became clear what most of her wanted to do...he's like. a really good person actually 🥺

HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO A RAT.......i love getting shocked when random objects turn out to be odo. i love playing this game. also, there was totally a leaky pipe in that scene too. ds9 feels so fucking lived in...you'd never have those on tng.

i also think sisko did a good job threading the needle here, even if kira had to go over his head to get him to see reason. you gotta do what you gotta do but he was mostly compassionate to kira's dilemma and even let her take point when she requested it...AND THEN LOL smiled while threatening her if she ever went over his head again. WHICH IS WHAT KIRA DOES. SMILES WHEN ANGRY. it was really good. i like him so much

it was such a nice touch to add o'brien telling him not to hand that guy over to the cardassians. the implication being that he was in the room when picard was transported back to the enterprise post-torture which like of COURSE he was. i don't think him outlining in detail picard's torture by those guys would have swayed sisko's opinion much because it's picard so it was also smart that he didn't go into particulars. but it does hammer home that what the cardassians do to people is real to the bajorans and to o'brien in a way that it is not (yet?) real to sisko.

KLINGON SISTERS. when they first appeared i was like "holy shit those boob windows" even though i didn't recognize their faces at all. i recognized only the boob windows. then when they said their names i was like I KNEW IT. what a funny little throwback

side bar i also love that they call the station itself ds9. they don't say deep space nine they say ds9 just like we do

a man alone:

holy racially motivated hate crimes, batman

wait sorry actually let me start at the beginning. the first scene with julian getting shot down 1000 times by jadzia (or are we supposed to call her dax...) was really funny. i'm trying to figure out in my mind palace if he's a bi king or a gay-but-closeted king.

also, so much happened in this episode. there was an a plot a b plot AND a c plot but instead of feeling rushed it just felt comfortably chaotic. i was never waiting for one plot to be over so we could get to the one that really mattered, you know? i liked everything that was going on except for the lack of garak i want him to be in every episode so bad

i like everything jadzia had going on this ep...like, people react to her different as a super hot lady than they did as an old man. sisko's talk about fucking the twins was especially hilarious. dude you can still fuck twins with her if you wanted. but the way that like 3 different people had romantic tension with her and she's just out here to do her job AND ALSO is like "i try to rise above all that" so true aroace queen. although i do actually know she has a romantic plotline with worf (who should be fucking riker and deanna) and also that *** ****, which sucks a lot.

i liked keiko getting an actual plotline in this episode. like this place didn't even have a bed for jake when sisko got here, of course she doesn't wanna raise her daughter there, and of course she's bummed out that her field of expertise is fucking useless there, although i agree w her husband that somebody needs to plant some fucking trees. i do disagree with her that it's less safe than the enterprise, though...that ship almost blows up every fucking week. anyway the fact that sisko was ready to give her whatever she needed was very nice. please treat her really niceys. side bar her baby is AODRABLE that child wanted her hands on that little bell soooo bad

speaking of jake!! it was nice to see him again. i like that when he gets in trouble his dad is obviously pissed without it being like a Problem. like he's pissed and jake is in trouble and sisko is gonna lay down the law but it's not a relationship-threatening issue. it was harmless teenage fun.

unfortunately sisko did kinda carry the idiot ball for the rest of this ep...i feel like there were so many choices he could have made to maybe NOT put a giant target on odo's back and it also took him a lot longer than i would have liked to step in once the mob started going, but he did step in, so that's what matters.

i loved odo in this episode!! he's just as angry as kira is in his own way, and his relationship with both her and quark (WOWWW more on that in a sec) feel so lived in, you can feel the years between them...it's also just now apparent to me that he's actually really protective, which, aw. i love also the lore that every 18 hours he has to just exist as goop in a pail. so true king me too

odo also aroace king he simply chooses not to couple. so true. that said whatever he and quark had going on was FUNNN i love a little sexual tension in my star trek. is he aroace or is he gay for that little ferengi. only time will tell.

on a more serious note odo's quarters getting hate crimed really drives home how set apart he is from others...and the mob section was GENUINELY scary. and he's so protective it was a little sad that kira was the only one really standing up for him :(

I NEARLY FORGOT TO ADD: julian bashir straight up growing a guy in a bubbly goopy little vat just to catch a killer? insane. thats a whole ass person who is about to be part of society who exists "just because." imagine the existential issues lmao

TONIGHT: "babel" and "captive pursuit." technically after babel we're supposed to watch "ship in a bottle" from tng, but i've been informed it's a barclay episode which means i will be watching it myself later tonight on 2x speed. it's not the first time we've fucked with the order a little bit lol (i was famously late finishing tas) so i still count it as mostly watching in release order

[liyazaki]

MOR! My beloved. I can always expect the truth from you. Overall thoughts on Between Us? I know the final ep was not your fave but how about the series? What would you want to keep? What would you want to change?

Eboni, my darling- hoo, boy. you're about to get way more than you bargained for, but I got some Thoughts™️ & some Things™️ to say.

disclaimer: Between Us was a sweet, serviceable, inoffensive show. I mostly enjoyed watching it & I loved being back in the UWMA universe, however tangentially.

speaking to the collective “you” here: if you loved the show from start to finish, I'm sincerely happy for you! if it'll lessen your BU fandom experience to read critiques- which is valid & completely understandable- click away. I swear I'm not trying to rain on your parade (or argue with anyone, which I won't be- period).

also, let's check ourselves: this is a show. it's not that serious- it couldn't be less serious, actually. sometimes I just like to go off the analytical deep end...it's a good time for a nerd like me. this is my house (my blog) & I'm just having fun, throwing digital paint around.

with all that out of the way, let's jump into it.

UWMA set an extremely high narrative standard. we knew from scene one the writers weren't messing around. that opening is burned into my memory forever.

from compelling flashbacks, to multiple couples that had something for everyone, to little plot details weaved in from the beginning that only made sense later- they knew exactly what story they were trying to tell & they told it in a big way. it was tightly constructed, cleanly delivered and hit all the right notes for me personally.

UWMA is a tough act to follow. in the end, it felt like Between Us barely tried. to quote an MDL reviewer (before the finale even aired): in with a bang, out with a whimper.

step one of any good story is solid character development. it's what draws us in, making & keeping us emotionally invested. we have to like these characters- and know enough about them- in order to care. that- and a good, solid plot- is what sustains our attention.

in a pretty atypical way, Between Us had serious emotional fan investment long before it had basically any character development (thanks to BounPrem's chemistry, IMO).

Win and Team had roughly 31 minutes of total screentime in UWMA, but you'd have never known it from the fever-pitch fandom support years before its release. we didn't have much real character knowledge or depth to go off of, but many of us came into this show ravenous for more of their story (raises hand).

the show's over now and, disappointingly, I don't feel like I learned much about either Win or Team that I didn't already know. we did see them struggle- Team with his guilt and insecurities; Win with his vague intimacy aversion and self worth issues.

Team and Win had plenty of things between (heh) the two of them to overcome- so what went wrong?

for me, Between Us suffered from a tragic case of barely-scratching-the-surface character development (there was so much there to play with narratively & yet- sigh), paired with serious flaws in the rising action.

every single story in existence uses rising action. to quote Henry of The Closer Look, a media analyst I like: "rising action is basically narrative tension. it's the way the conflict builds as the story goes along."

when a story utilizes rising action effectively, the audience ends up feeling almost elated by the end. it's almost like we actually went on the same journey as the characters, and we now get to bask alongside them in just how far they've come. we want to see characters we care for improve, persevere. overcome, conquer.

when rising action is handled correctly, the plot progression looks something like this.

via Henry's excellent analysis on why TLOU2 divided its fandom so thoroughly

Between Us had tension, it had conflict- but it looked something like this (I'd add way more hills, personally).

"what you're seeing here is an abomination of story structure." hey- Henry said it; not me.

the conflicts went up and down throughout the story. Team internally spirals; Win does something sweet and pulls him out of it. everything seems fine; Win pulls back.

rinse, wash, repeat in an endless cycle, made worse by the fact that they struggled with- and apparently overcame- the same. exact. issues, over and over, the entire time.

conflicts that seemed to be resolved came back exactly as they were, sometimes multiple times in a single episode. by episode 7 or so, it was getting tedious. by the end, I was just bummed.

for me, watching Between Us was going around in circles, hoping we were working towards some actually-important climax that never came. and I wanted to believe we were going somewhere, right up until the bitter beige-on-beige end.

there were no scenes that actually made me hold my breath, ala Bad Buddy’s confession-of-legends on the rooftop. no repeating themes, masterfully culminating in the finale (running up the cape in ITSAY). Between Us left me with an itch for depth and impact that only fan fics can scratch at this point (bless you writers).

yeah, Win and Team ended up together- of course they did. I don't think anyone had any doubts they would eventually. but standing at the finish line, do I care that they ended up together?

I hate to say it, but- not really. they didn't give me enough to make it feel meaningful- like it actually meant something. it just- is. yay? I guess?

this post was brutal enough, but to answer your question about what I'd keep & what I'd change? it's hard to pick when the whole thing just felt like special episodes (filled with lots of cute, sweet moments, to be fair) with an enormous dash of missed opportunity.

all in all, I don't regret watching but it's a universe I'll only be returning to via fan fic fixes- and UWMA, my forever top 3 BL beloved.

[novelgamestudios]

Progress Report 12/3 - 12/9

Hello hello, Jace here!

So before I dive into the progress made this week I want to give a little background info on the process overall. Some of y'all who may be familiar with visual novels or gamedev or both probably know the go-to recommended engine for making VNs is Ren'Py, it just is. And it's pretty dang fantastic, don't get me wrong, but that's not the engine I'm using.

I'm using Gdevelop, which is a no-code, visual scripting engine. I did this for two reasons. 1) Ren'Py has a LOT of functionality that you would expect in a VN already baked in and while that's fantastic, if you want to do some other things or add in other game mechanics, you're looking at learning some code. And I love code, I think it's super cool, but I also have very limited time in my day so I had to pick my battles as a solo dev and no-code engine it is! 2) Ren'Py ONLY makes VNs and I have ideas for at least half a dozen other games that aren't VNs. So if I'm going to learn an engine I want it to be one I can do lots of things in.

I share this because this means that everything we're building into this game, we're building from scratch. So basically if the stuff I share seems kind of basic that's why lol

TL;DR I'm working really hard on this so be gentle and also don't be afraid to maybe gas me up a little 🥺💜

OKAY HERE'S WHAT GOT DONE THIS WEEK!

Brightness slider! I personally have really bad light sensitivity and there's a LOT of games I can't play for more than hour (or at all) because it hurts too much. So I wanted to be sure to include the ability to dim the screen for folks if they needed it.

Dyslexic font toggle! We went with a sans-serif font to begin with in the hopes of making text as easy to read as possible. But just in case we're also adding in a toggle to the settings that will change the font to the Open Dyslexic font. This will change the dialogue, dialogue choices, and the settings menu!

History Log! Just in case you hit the button too fast or didn't really process what was said (or maybe your cat stepped on the keyboard), there will be a log you can pull up that will show the transcript of what you've done so far in the current chapter!

I put together a lil video showing how the brightness and font toggle work! (But not the history log cause all I got down was the code in a test scene and it is... very ugly right now lol)

The brightness slider is fully implemented and the font toggle is well on its way. The history log hasn't been implemented into the game itself so hopefully we won't hit any additional hiccups when that happens.

Thanks for reading and as always our asks are open if you have any questions!

See ya next week!

[princesscolumbia]

Code of Ethics - Chapter 15 - Tactical Triggers

This one took a little mental effort to get over a hump, and I described it perfectly over on QuietVallerie's Discord, so I'm just going to copy-paste that here:

So I'm doing some work on Code of Ethics and the scene was...coming along. We already knew from ch. 14 that Diane doesn't take too kindly to slavers, but just the gut ugly feeling one gets from human trafficking just wasn't pushing this in the direction I needed it to go firmly enough. Diane's about to have her first in-game combat of any sort and the reason to do so is just a touch thin, at least for this part of the story. I got a little over 1.5k words in and wrote out:

...it feels like they’re challenging me with their stares. The realization made the puzzle pieces fall together, at least mostly. She was a woman. They were men. They expected her to be subservient, complacent.

...and I realized; that's the missing piece of the puzzle! Diane's instincts are being twigged because she's experiencing patriarchal condescension for the first time in her life!* She's always kinda recognized that it happens To Other People, but she never experienced it first- or even second-hand, so clearly it's only a thing that happens Far Away™️ and Only to People Who Aren't God's Chosen™️. To experience herself, firsthand, is going to be rubbing her SO the wrong way and she's going to want to lash out, so then add in a little detail that would be spoiling just a little more than I want to spoil here, and she's going to tip over HARD into, "Salt the Earth!" mode. So I went back to the start of the interaction between Diane and the first slaver she meets from the ship and started adding little details that would be noticeable to someone who grew up AMAB as, "...why are they treating me this way? I didn't used to have to deal with this..." Already I'm feeling MUCH better about this chapter!

Preview below the cut:

“Status of the security team?”

“Inbound, half of them are in one car while the other half are presently loading...ah, they just finished, both cars are on their way.”

She tapped a thumb on the screen of her mini-tab, “Any new comms?”

“Negative, commander,” answered Cynthy, “Any requests for more details just gets the same introductory packet again.”

Diane grumbled as she felt the rumbling of the docking clamps lock into place with the vehicle presently connected to the top of her docking bay. “Well, looks like we’re about to find out why they’re being so quiet. Monitor this channel, Cynthy, I’ll set this to broadcast anything the mic picks up.”

“Aye, Commander,” was the only reply as Diane tapped the buttons on the screen to mute any inbound audio. She shut off the screen and shoved the device in her pocket.

She turned to Katrina’s hologram, “Any better sensor scans now that they’re actually docked?”

“Negative,” replied the digital assistant, “You may want to consider prioritizing the sensor tower and astrometrics. Once those two buildings are completed we should be able to complete scans far more accurately, greatly enhanced resolution, and at greater range.”

“Yeah, well, that’ll be nice for future us, but right now I get to interrogate a potentially hostile party that just boarded my station. Kat,” the off-the-cuff nickname seemed to make the hologram smile, “Do docked ships automatically connect to the station’s network?”

Katrina nodded as the lights above the airlock flickered from red to yellow, indicating compression regulation and atmospheric testing was underway, “They’re connected now.”

“Good, start probing for vulnerabilities...discretely, if they turn out to be bad guys blow their firewalls to hell and get in as fast as you can. I want full control if we need it.” Katrina’s transparent eyebrows went up in surprise as Diane continued, “Dismiss the hologram for now, I want them underestimating us as much as possible.”

“Clever thinking, and just in time. Here they are,” she said just before she de-rezzed and the cargo airlock indicator lights flipped to green, the door hissing open with a puff of recycled air.

Standing in the wide access doorway was a single individual. He looked...like a salesman. Humanoid, though from his scent, slightly tinny, rather than the human and Morvuck coppery smell, he wasn’t human at all. Looking carefully, she realized that his ears seemed to either be nonexistent or fully flush to his skull. His...muzzle also seemed to protrude, like someone had started sculpting some other type of predator, changed their minds, and squashed it into a simulacrum of human shape without bothering to get it right. In all, it was jangling Diane’s nerves.

The man looked her up and down, seeming surprised she was there. A brief glance around quite obviously revealing nobody else there, he turned his focus back on her, noted the firearm strapped to her hip, and nodded, “You would be the welcome wagon, I presume?”

Diane debated internally for a moment how to best respond, finally deciding on, “If you like. It’s something of a concern when a large, unscheduled, and unknown, ship barrels in at a comparatively breakneck clip after only doing us the favor of sending the cargo clearance packet. You’re honestly lucky we didn’t blow you out of the sky.”

Apparently unphased, and perhaps a touch dismissive, the man just nodded in acknowledgement, “Well, for my own sake I’m glad you didn’t, then.” He extended his hand in a distinctly human gesture of a handshake, “Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Taliesin Sanghvi, I’m the primary agent and representative of the recently formed Branwell Consortium.”

“Diane Somni’els, station commander,” she said simply as she took his hand to shake it, “And the name ‘Branwell Consortium’ means very little to me, I’m afraid.”

Read the rest on Scribblehub

[danwhobrowses]

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.3 - Quickfire Review

Finally. It's been longer than intended for me to watch this movie, I should've been writing this last week but I had the completely baffling scenario where the cinema people came in and say they 'didn't have the feature'. But finally I went and watched it so here are my quick thoughts on the matter.

Spoilers for the Movie

So I unsurprisingly enjoyed this a lot, I wouldn't say it's the best Guardians film, I think the first still sneaks the top spot, but they are all hits and it's the best MCU film since No Way Home.

I was quite surprised with a lot of things, but Rocket being on death's door for two thirds of the film was the most unexpected, paired with no character dying. I'm not too mad about the latter mind you, it was just surprising.

I read a non-spoiler review though that said that Adam Warlock wasn't in it enough, and while I can see why people may think that, I thought the limited time he had worked in his favour. The infant-like mentality - set up by the Sovereign saying he was awakened early - did add to the comedy and he was never gonna be comic accurate given that Vision stole his whole Infinity Stone shtick. While him joining the new Guardians made sense, I will say that Phyla-Vell felt a little thrown in there though but it was just a mid-credits scene so it won't mean that much.

The High Evolutionary is great though, like pure maniacal god complex, which helps to stand out against other MCU villains who often get painted with a layer of sympathy or manipulation. Chukwudi Iwuji depicted the role brilliantly and if Marvel do get put in a corner with Kang they can easily slot him into the role. For new side characters I also felt that all of Rocket's old buddies did well, Linda Cardellini especially as Lylla.

The plot itself was very emotive, centering mainly around Peter and Rocket being haunted by their past (the former having to also confront Gamora during it all), and Nebula's struggle to express herself. While this did leave Drax, Mantis and Groot to mainly hover around the side, and Cosmo and Kraglin to hover wayyyy far back over the side. Rocket's backstory though is brutal, and Peter's development towards acceptance and seeking out his family on earth was a solid payoff. I do especially like that neither of the daughters of Thanos ended up with Peter at the end, Gamora found her home in the Ravagers yes but she took home some lessons from the Guardians, and Nebula and Peter would've felt a little forced.

While the Guardians splitting at the end makes sense, and Drax getting some respect as a parental figure was nice, I do feel like Mantis going alone was perhaps the most bitter of the group going their separate ways, I enjoyed her character but she wasn't given a lot of substance, and I feel she was a little depowered here compared to when she sedated Ego and Thanos in previous movies. I hope at the least given how Star Lord will at least return that the Guardians will reunite once more, even if it's for another Holiday Special.

Also can't talk about Guardians without the music, and it's quite good, I suppose it's the quality you expect from the film after so many movies. Starting with Creep was a unique call, but I did enjoy them using Dog Days Are Over for the final scenes of the movie. Since You've Been Gone by Rainbow always puts me in a good mood though, mainly because of the Pot Noodle commercial that used the song.

I could probably dig into it more, but this is meant to be 'quickfire' and this is the eighth paragraph so in conclusion, really good movie, it has emotional weight and comedy, its focus on animal cruelty does make you pensive, the new characters were fun, and the conclusion will leave you content but also hopeful, despite Gunn setting sights on rebooting the DC universe, to see the group again.

[bourbon-ontherocks]

unfortunately all of [gros canard]’s scenes (in this ep at least) are tainted by his turning violent during that one interrogation. it’s like they flipped a switch without a warning. et on tombe dans la caricature, comme tu disais… I knew they didn’t make david’s character sharper than your average suspect for nothing, and I figured it was for the dinner party, but turns out they were just setting him up to be the perfect outlet for anger and jealousy--il fallait un mec à l’air coupable et capable de balader la police. which makes it really hard to pretend that scene was simply some bad, ooc writing. (could’ve been different if there had been amends of some sort afterwards, when the guy is released… and tbh céline should’ve suspended him for real) bref roxane called it, [gros canard] est un flic border 🤷

now everything he does or says, I’m just like… yeah. wouldn’t expect any less from a grade A scumbag. and the GALL to stare at morgane and the end and leave without a word, as if to say ~you’re dangerous and I’m removing myself from the situation? that’s ice cold. and buddy, you’re the dangerous one here, if you can’t be normal around your crush or your antagonist of the day then take a fucking hike. 😡 pardon mais ça me débecte tellement cette fin ! I feel bitter. anyway. rant over.

(je note au passage que c’est la 2e fois que morgane se fait ~quitter dans cet épi 🥲)

Okay. So now we're getting to the unfunny part, and while I definitely didn't like this scene either, it might be for different reasons, or at least for me it didn't paint the rest of the episode as bleak as it did for you 😨

So. Adam's outburst of violence this ep felt clearly ooc, I agree, and especially considering what we've been given so far re his behaviour at work and in general. However, I gave it a lot of thought, and while it definitely does not add up with the image we have of him, it might not be *so* OOC from the show's point of view. After all, we've already seen Adam doing ooc stuff out of the blue, starting with kissing Morgane at the end of 208, and perhaps he's one of these people who bottle up their feelings and are in control 99% of the time but just happen to ~snap once in a while.

In that regard, his snapping after days of anger and jealousy (that he's unaware of) slowly building up makes sense, although not necessarily in the way they set it up, and not to such a dramatic extent. I'm not excusing him for what he did, just saying that from a characterization point of view, it *can* tie up not so terribly.

Now my problem with that scene has more to do with its setup than whether or not it makes Adam less likable. This was a textbook example of police brutality over an innocent Black suspect, guided by personal motives, but was never addressed as such. If the show was actually trying to make an extremely disturbing statement, they wouldn't have done better. I mean, Adam could have fought David during the dinner party for instance, it wouldn't have changed his own jealousy arc, but that would have made things much more palatable imo than him attacking his antagonist while on duty and during an interrogation.

In a more general way, I feel like the show has flipped a switch regarding violence and action this season that wasn't really called for. We went from des enquêtes pépouzes in early seasons to hostage situations where guns fire (depuis quand c'est la PJ qui gère ça d'ailleurs ? Il y a pas des équipes spécialisées ?), and I've never seen Adam's weapon more than during this season, so I guess this is all part of a more global agenda of darkening the show and the characters (I bet Audrey is missing her Engrenages era... But at least they had the decency to film police brutality in a smarter way back then 🥲)

Ngl, it makes me sad that you're now calling Adam a grade A scumbag 😭 I'm not gonna say he's got excuses for acting like he did, and like I said before his characterization this season is terribly written, but also I get where he comes from even though he's clearly hit rock bottom this episode... I mean, had he been a tad more self-aware these past 4 eps, we wouldn't have had to endure his surprised Pikachu beardless face upon discovering that Morgane dating someone else actually hurts him, nor would he have acted like a complete asshole. Sigh. What I'm trying to say is that for me this was more of a one-time fall, no matter how despicable he got, rather than a complete redefinition of who he is. At least I want to believe in that 🥲 (and send him to an anger management support group asap 😅) even though violence, possessiveness and jealousy are massive red flags imo 💔😰

I'm going to assume that his entire personality and set of, you know, human skills, was actually stored in the beard, because now that I'm thinking about it, it's mostly in the beardless episodes that he's acting nonsensically... Please Beardie come back! 🥹 Oh and I agree with you that Céline should have gotten him suspended! 100%! That's time-out for grownups and it would definitely have done him some good lol!

Now for this final scene of silent treatment with Morgane, I have a slightly different interpretation? At this point in the ep, Adam has gotten uncontrollable, violent, angry, and Céline rightfully reminded him that this is not the kind of behavior she wants to see in the team. I think it's the turning point when he finally connects the dots and realizes where all this rage comes from. He's finally admitting that he has feelings for Morgane (hence the 'we need to talk' to Roxane -> just saying, but if he dumps her next Thursday he'll definitely be the biggest asshole in the history of assholiness btw), but since he's still down that jerkland rock bottom, he puts it on her. He's sort of mad at her that she made him catch feelings that are clearly ruining his perfectly rounded little life, and that's, imo, the reason for his silence and closed face, and while that's still not cool, it's not exactly the same as the way you interpreted it.

Now, this will be a hit or miss, but there's a fic out there that actually explores Adam's violence during this ep by making it worse, and while it is based on this ooc premise of a scene, the execution actually makes a lot of sense and brings an interesting light to his characterization (also it is resolved in an extremely satisfying way lol), so perhaps it will be a cathartic read for you, idk! Anyway if you're interested, it's Rouge by PlumeDeChien

This post got super long so I'll spill over the next one to talk about Morgane's break up, okay bye!

[rays-of-fire-and-ice]

BLEACH: The Thousand Year Blood War Ep 11 Reactions and Thoughts

Overall reaction:

We're finally here! Everything but the Rain. This week we have the return of the fathers, the sons (and sun), and some ghosts from the past. Unlike last week's epic battle, this one goes for of an atmospheric approach, with beautifully animated rain and action, darker colours, and a first meeting that almost belongs in a shoujo series. I don't have too much to say for this one, but I still thought I'd give me two cents about it.

Highlights:

OG Tenth division - aka, the return of the son: I was looking forward to this one, and it certainly delivered. I couldn't stop grinning throughout, starting with Rangiku's appearance all the way to Isshin's exit to the World of the Living. I would've liked to see Isshin's more goofy face when lifting Toshiro, but honestly, that proud, happy smile he gives him is pretty wholesome. Seeing Toshiro act like such a brat had me cackling (out future Tenth Division captain ladies and gentlemen), and Rangiku being the one that's holding all of this division together somehow, she's a champ. If nothing else, it's now thanks to this scene Tumblr has been flooded with gif of younger Toshiro, so there's that!

Gin and Tosen: I didn't expect to react the way I did seeing these two again. They're ghosts from BLEACH past, and I've come to like them for different reasons since the series ended. When they appeared, I clapped and couldn't stop smiling. It was good to see them again for sure!

Isshin and Masaki vs White: I loved how the setting for the fight was animated, with darker colours lit by streetlights and the rain being central. It gave the fight an atmospheric feel, both somber and grounded, it's hard to describe. Isshin's powers looked awesome, and Masaki got to show off too:

And then there's their meeting afterwards. I remember not thinking too much of it in the manga, but here, there's just something charming and sweet about it, like something out of a shoujo anime. My only critique, and it's an absolute nitpick, is that because there was so much detail in this scene, the blood on Isshin looked flat and was a little distracting.

The ending: now that's a good way to end the episode. Again, I love that they've included more content for Uryu, and seeing that moment he stands out in the rain and looks up to see Jugram, I got shivers. Again, they went for atmosphere here, and the lack of dialogue really sold the foreboding feeling this moment gave off.

We've also got more cut content, this time with Isshin comment on Rangiku's, uh, assets. It's interesting what fan service they're choosing to exclude, and it makes me wonder how they'll approach other fan service scenes (if they even include them in the first place). I admit, part of the reason I thought they went for a later time slot was to not only allow for more graphic violence, but also to keep more fan service (just look at what they did with Sui Feng's uniform in the first preview trailer, they ditched the white cloth she used to wear beneath on her chest), so this is surprising to me.

Overall, another solid episode to add to a so far amazing adaption. Final [joint] episode next week! We'll be getting the conclusion of the mini arc and, if the poster is any indication, Ichigo confronting Zangetsu and getting his two blades. I'm not ready for this part of the adaption to end!!

[emblemxeno]

It really sucks that the Fates retranslation mod author added in and or/changed a bunch of stuff from the original game, because if the description of the mod is to be believed, this might just be the best English translation Fates has ever had; they went through every version of the game's script they could find, including the localized one, the original japanese one, and the other fan translations, all to ensure accuracy, have a team working with them to double-check for mistakes, went out of their way to make the dialogue sound natural, and plan on translating ALL of the game, including supports.

Given that those last two points are practically the biggest issues with the og english patch (there are some mistakes here and there in terms of poor translation from what i've heard, but the big flaws with the mod are that a lot of the dialogue reads heavily stilted and unnatural, along with large swathes of the game remaining untranslated from the original japanese, and probably will stay that way for the rest of time given that the mod team has been dead for half a decade at this point), having a mod that's basically just the english patch but better and actually finished seems like a dream come true.

Annnd then they started adapting scenes from Fates's supplemental material into the story; and made Lilith into a playable character in the main story, along with writing and adding in supports for her based off interactions she has with other characters in supplemental material; and created new supports for the Corrinsexuals based off some of their interactions from the Nohrian festival of bonds DLC; and “rebalanced” certain characters; and made up new boss conversations for if certain characters fight a boss; and completely rewrote the Male Corrin and Soleil support chain; and added in more same sex S-supports; and rewrote the begginings of Peri's support conversations to have her be less hostile to the other party; etc…

Like, i appreciate the amount of effort that must have been put into all those new additions, especially since Fates supplemental material isn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to find, but this isn't a retranslation anymore; this is a content patch of Fates with a new translation slapped on top of it.

And i'd be fine with that, if only the retranslation and the stuff that straight-up changes the game were put in different mods; if they had one mod that was called “Fates retranslation”, and it actually WAS just the base game but with a translation that's more faithful to the original jp script (kinda like another Fates retranslation patch out there), and another called “Fates expansion”, where all the stuff that changes the game and/or adds in new content for it was put, i wouldn't have any issues with this whatsoever.

However, that's not how it works; as far as i'm aware, if you download the retranslation mod, you're gonna have to deal with all the extra changes to the game that came with it, which alter the game so much you're still better off playing the unfinished, awkwardly translated english patch if you want to see what a more faithfully-translated Fates looks like.

Man, Fates's just cursed to never get a good, finished localization, isn't it?

Most likely yeah. Idk why people are so dead set on changing stuff that didn't need to be changed. Localization/translation isn't meant to be "create your own story from these building blocks" it's just... translate a script in such a way that you get the same info as the original, but it's more readable to the audience that uses the different language.