#I like seeing results. I like feeling like I’m actually changing something in my life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

transmascissues · 2 months

Note

it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?

first of all, i don’t think it’s silly — it’s natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as like…one of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. i’m not saying the fear is right, because i don’t think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but it’s an understandable fear given the beauty standards we’re working with, and it’s one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.

one thing that’s helped me is just…paying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. i’ve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. i’d say it’s much harder to find an adult man who isn’t balding at all than it is to find one who’s completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything you’ve been told about how bad hair loss is, you’ll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesn’t ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isn’t really even something you’d notice if you weren’t looking for it. we put so much weight on it but it’s really just not that big of a deal. i’ll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didn’t even notice a difference last time i saw them. it’s one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because you’ve been taught that you’re supposed to care about it.

this isn’t something i’ve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what you’d look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while it’s still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it won’t feel like this big scary unknown, and you’ll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that you’ll inevitably hate it. if you don’t want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.

oh, and if you’re attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, there’s no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasn’t helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it can’t hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.

basically, entertain the possibility that it won’t be a bad thing at all! whether that’s just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, it’s not an inherently bad thing. i’ve ended up liking a lot of things that were “supposed to” be bad effects of t — i love the weight i’ve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and i’m not complaining about the scars i get from it either because i’ve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think there’s a lot of joy to be had in the changes we’re taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.

but if it’s something you really don’t want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, it’s not like there’s nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i don’t know how effective any one of them might be). if it’s a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that you’ll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you don’t find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you don’t feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didn’t have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you don’t like the look of the partial balding but don’t mind a shaved head. the point being — you have options!

at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, you’re going to see your body change as you age in ways that aren’t always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. that’s just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, you’d get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you don’t bald, you’ll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isn’t the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isn’t the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. there’s no guaranteeing that we’ll love every single change our bodies go through, but that’s okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and don’t like how it looks, your life won’t be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.

just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad that’s making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.

#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it #some people might think it’s silly to answer a question like this so extensively #but i don’t think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i don’t see talked about much #maybe because it’s so common among cis guys that people don’t see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk #but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t #ask answered #testosterone #hrt #ftm hrt #hair loss #trans men #transmascs

792 notes · View notes

cozycottagetarot · 3 months

Text

The Next Chapter Of Your Life

How To Pick A Pile:

Everyone has their own technique for choosing a 'pile'. My recommendation is to clear your mind and focus on each image for a few seconds. The image you find yourself coming back to even when you focus on the other images is the pile for you.

Quick notes on this reading:

It's a long one -- This reading is a lot longer (I think) than what I typically post. I'd appreciate any feedback on the length since it's something I'm experimenting with. The pile titles are colour-coded -- Hopefully, it helps make scrolling to the next section quicker.

Each pile references multiple scenarios -- some scenarios came through stronger than others, but I did my best to write what I was getting to be applied to situations not mentioned.

‼️ THIS READING IS MEANT FOR SELF-REFLECTION AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY -- While this reading does contain a bit of advice and reflective questions, IT'S IN NO WAY SHAPE OR FORM MEANT TO REPLACE PROFESSIONAL ADVICE OF ANY KIND. Please use your discretion, think carefully before you act and only take what resonates be it a little, some or none at all. (The usual disclaimer is at the bottom).

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

PILE 1 (Scrapbook)

Who are you? Cards: The Poet, The Founder rev, The Queen of Roses

This pile may be the pile for you if any of the following resonates:

Wanting to connect or being very connected to your loving, nurturing and supportive side. You've been receiving messages or sensing that a new connection is on the horizon. Motherhood/parenthood or marriage. Seeking resolutions to a relationship. Leaving behind relationships that have been in your life forever. Giving too much to others. Ending toxic relationships. Finding or wanting freedom. Finding your voice. Finding you. Tapping into your creative side. A quest for happiness.

If none of these individual sentences resonate feel free to check out a different pile.

Who will you become throughout this next chapter? Cards: The Muse, The Gambler

You will begin to bloom. Maybe not fully, but you’ll be more open to taking the necessary steps (which may feel like risk) to flourish. The end result will be you tapping into your creativity and creator energy. But also putting in the work, and changing your approach. I pulled all the cards at once so being able to take in all the cards at once, it’s this sense of making you happen. Gone will be the sense of being who you think you should or are expected to be. You’ll be gaining a new sense of self that is brighter and more wild. The risk is non-existent. It’s more perceived. It seems like a risk to indulge in the aspects of yourself that may seem like they’re more whimsy, but by actually making those things happen, you will transform into someone who can inspire themself. You won’t have to look for inspiration elsewhere, you’ll have it there within you.

How will you find success? Cards: 3 of Keys (The Chess Game), The King rev

Through changing your tactic. This chapter won’t necessarily be easy. There will be conflict with those around or above you, especially if this relates to career or relationships, possibly even both. Detach from the situation and be objective. Waiting for your opening will be the key to your success. For some, it’s a situation where everyone is only looking out for themself and I’m picking up that it's creating a stalemate. With the king reversed, you know what’s best in the situation but someone with more authority than you or a level of seniority if this is a personal relationship thinks they know better but they don’t. It’s about being firm and holding your own as well as not letting your emotions, or the part of you that’s super connected to the situation, get the best of you and influence you to make rash decisions.

Challenges you may meet: Cards: The Astronomer, The Orator, Reflection rev.

I see the biggest challenge here for you being one of mastering yourself in this next chapter. There’s a battle between your emotions and your intuition. To navigate this you need to have a conversation with yourself and determine why you’re having such strong emotions. Where are these feelings stemming from? The astronomer card is here to remind you that whatever the situation is, it’s not really about the past-- it’s not going to help you navigate this chapter. Especially if you’ve been acting according to what’s expected of you when the current/upcoming situation(s) requires you to do what is true to you. I hope I'm not repeating myself too much here, but the challenge becomes exploring the why behind the emotions so you can better make decisions and listen to your intuition. BUT, keep in mind that it doesn’t mean not to listen to your emotions at all.

Another message here is that working with other people may also show up as a challenge. There's a reminder to listen to other people's perspectives but also know that choosing to hear someone’s POV doesn’t mean you have to absorb it as yours either.

Finally, even when it gets tough, don’t doubt yourself. Take your time. It may seem like you have to have it all figured out and know what to say and which decision to make, but not really. It’s easy to feel that way when it feels like everything is at stake, but again, if you feel that way, pause and ask yourself why? Once you have your why, you can take on the world.

Lessons To Be Learned: Cards: The Painter, 8 of keys (the master artisan)

This definitely feels like it relates to career or passion projects, but of course, just adjust to your individual situation. It may or may not mean anything, but your cards have lots of florals.

Your lessons in this next chapter of life relate to learning to connect with yourself, speaking up and putting yourself out there. Your energy is one that makes me feel like you have such an amazing talent you're hesitant to embrace. You have so much to learn and just as much to offer... this is the beginning of that journey. Don’t be shy. There are opportunities out there waiting, you just have to figure out the way to pursue them that is most authentic to you. Even if it’s simply an opportunity to give love and kindness. I know I focused a lot on career and creativty, but this goes for relationships too. There is a lot of heavy energy covering this beautiful light-hearted one that just wants to break free. If you are considering going into teaching or taking up a teaching opportunity (not necessarily even in a formal education system) or enrolling in a course of some kind, I feel like this is a nod to say go for it. Especially pottery or beadwork? Trade work as well, maybe even culinary school or food-related skills. (I could be projecting there on the culinary aspect though as that's what I did and the imagery on the card reminds me of it).

Advice to take with you in this next chapter: The hound and pear (loyalty) — This card is always a bittersweet card whenever I see it. The message here is one of loyalty and friendship. A new relationship (of any kind), one founded on friendship, is precious but also delicate. Don't make irrevocable decisions based on conclusions. It must be treated with care on both sides because it can be damaged easily.

The deer and oat (healing) — Rest and recharge. Moderation and mindfulness are also key for recovering from difficult or intense situations. Ask yourself, how you can rest and nurture yourself?

The snake and fern (starting over) — it’s time to finish breaking free from the past so you can become something new. So you can return to your true self. What has protected you and brought you to this point? Are you in a position to release it? Are there any parts of your past self that you can regrow from (like snipping off part of a plant that may be unhealthy and leaving the rest so it can re-catch itself, not sure why I picked that analogy) or must you grow anew? (Planting a new seed, from the old plant. The essence is still there but a completely new plant will grow)

If you made it this far I appreciate it. Feedback is welcomed and if there's a topic you'd like me to cover in a pac, feel free to let me know!

Pile 2 (Compass)

If you’re drawn to pile 1 feel free to check that out as well.

Who are you? Cards: The Oracle of Delphi, the Sentinel, the Forgotten

This pile may be the pile for you if any of the following resonates:

Intuitive. Connected to a higher power. Diety work. Past lives. Psychic powers. Perseverance. Fighting back. Confidence threatening to become arrogance. Dominance dancing on the lines of domineering. A force to be reckoned with. Someone who's sometimes brash. Amor fati (love of fate). An academic. Dreamlight Valley. Self-esteem issues (past or present). Someone who was looked past and from it learned not to try. Fear. Anxiety. A lost soul stumbling in the dark. Chaos. Morally grey. *You may be an avid reader or enjoy fantasy media as well.

My Overall Impression: You’re a force to be reckoned with and reckon you will. Your energy is just pure power and chaos. I low-key feel like you’re battling with life/the universe (call it what you prefer, that’s just how I prefer to call it). There’s this energy of "Try me" and the universe is like "I got one for you, watch and see". But there’s no malice. I just get fed-up vibes from you and the response from life is like "Okay 👀, but chill." Enemies to lovers with life itself.

Who will you become throughout this next chapter? Cards: The Ark of the Covenant, Beith — Birth, The Queen, The Assassin

The Queen and The Assassin flew out with such fury! You’re going to become someone worthy of wearing a crown. But it comes at a price, though it’s not one you can sit around and sulk about. The next chapter of your life reminds me of being forged in fire. Now you’re stepping into the role and identity of someone who can achieve your goals. It’s dark at times, but you’re gaining the skills to do what you want to do and I get the feeling this "thing" you're meant to do is one you may feel on a deep or soul level. (It is) fulfilling a higher calling or purpose. At the very least, you’re becoming someone who has decided that this is the last time they repeat a cycle.

You’re working towards something more and it feels like by the end of this chapter, you’ll be granted a brief reprieve. There’s still more work to be done though. You’re stepping into a new era where so much will grow from you. For some of you, a new romantic relationship is coming in and/or you're expanding your family-- that includes found family as well.

How will you find success?

Cards: 4 of Roses (views of the ego) the Witch. Rev

The first message that comes through is that your success lies in cutting someone off. Someone selfish and self-absorbed to be exact. It’s a relationship you’ve stayed in too long... they could have had some kind of hold over you, not necessarily in a controlling way, but they could have meant something on a deep level which could have been why you held on. You may have done a lot you’re not happy with because you’ve done it with this person in mind. Cutting ties with them grants you success as it allows you to focus on what’s truly important to you.

The other message with the witch reversed is the importance of remembering that while you’re forging your own path, it’s okay to look to others who have made it or 'gotten out'. Maybe they haven’t gone through the exact same thing, but it doesn’t mean there isn’t wisdom in the stories of others who’ve forged through and paved their own way as well. Pile one was about breaking away from the expected, but you’re being called to review what is expected and see if there’s anything worth considering. Kind of like shopping around for inspiration? You might come across someone else's story and it might spark an idea within you on how to navigate your own.

Challenges you may meet-- Cards: The Tailor Rev, The Scribe

Your challenges in this next chapter involve trying not to force your will upon the flow of your life and refining your focus. I know, I said forged in fire. There’s an imbalance of sorts... instead of firing and hoping you hit the target (your goal), you need to pause and take a good look at what’s working vs what isn’t. The 'wheel of life' worksheet/exercise comes to mind but I personally hate that exercise so much. I bring it up because it allows you to get a visual of what areas of your life you've been focusing on vs neglecting and pinpoint which areas of your life you’re lacking in. From there you can further assess and gain a better grasp on what you should be focusing on. After all, you can do anything, but you can’t do everything.

With the scribe, you may need to study or fine-tune your skills regarding a specific matter more. Here, there's something you need to learn to influence your life in the way you want, but you have to take the time to figure out what it is that you need to learn. It doesn’t have to be formal learning either. It could be something such watch a YouTube video, reading a book or article, or even taking a free online course or masterclass. Nothing is too big or too small here, as long as it's helping you to develop to get from point A to B.

Lessons To Be Learned:

Cards: 8 or scrolls (path unknown), the diviner, the puppeteer

The 8 of scrolls here reminds you that you’ve been travelling on a path where you know the outcomes, but to get to where you want to be sometimes requires walking down paths that may mean you don’t know what’s going to happen until it happens. At the same time, that’s how opportunities we didn’t know we needed arise. In the card imagery, there’s a basket next to the girl filled with scrolls, the same type of scrolls pictured in the scribe card. I think for you it’s learning the skill or information I mentioned that is going to help you feel more confident and assured on this path you’re following. You’ve got the energy of the queen archetype (regardless of gender), and though it may be a challenge, you’ve equipped yourself with the skills necessary to go after what you want. You’ll have what it takes 100% to move on to the next phase (after this one we're talking about).

The Diviner is about divine timing and evaluation. Here you’ve done all that you can with what is in your control. What’s left now is waiting for your desires outcomes to come to fruition. While you can’t rush or force things, you can make sure you set yourself up for success when you get it. So let's say you're waiting on receiving a sum of money, in the meantime you can learn/brush up on the skills to manage money etc.

Finally with the puppeteer, mending relationships could also be a lesson. Although I think it’s more about learning to interact with others better? But also remembering that sometimes apologies can mend relationships and other times they can’t. Going back to that relationship mentioned way before, it could be a matter of "are you willing to forgive the other person if they were to apologise and see the error of their ways?" (Though with the type of person mentioned that may be unlikely but, who knows).

Another possibility with the assassin card is that you may ruffle feathers at some point, so you may learn the power or limits of an apology in that sense as well.

Advice to take with you in this next chapter:

The Finch and Peach (romance) — romance is on its way to you. Things to ponder on could be: do you feel ready to welcome love into your life? What are some things that make you feel loved/how do you like to receive love?

The Marten and Foxglove (mischief) — this card asks you to stay open to opportunities that allow you to tap into your playful side, be spontaneous or travel. Ask yourself how can you make room for spontaneity? (It could be through trying new foods, reading a different genre, visiting a place you wouldn’t typically visit, changing up your daily routine etc). Also are you at a point where you can open yourself to new adventures, big or small?

The Boar and Pumpkin (confidence) — You’re not wrong to be confident in yourself, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Take a moment to acknowledge your accomplishments and think about what you’ve done that you’re proud of (doesn’t always have to be tangible, it can also be mindsets, situations you’ve walked from etc).

The Snake and Fern (starting over) — Again, if you were drawn to pile one, I suggest you check that out. Here this card nods to beginning a new and asks you to see if there are any parts of yourself you can return to, or if it’s time to completely start anew and discover yourself from scratch.

If you made it this far I appreciate it. Feedback is welcomed and if there's a topic you'd like me to cover in a pac, feel free to let me know!

Pile 3 (The Trunks/Suitcase)

Who are you? Cards: The Smith, The Twins, The Lookout, The Askashic Library, 3 of Forces (Bird’s Nest)

This pile may be the pile for you if any of the following resonates:

The overthinker. Having a twin or prominent Gemini placements. If you're considering something you’ve been wanting to do for a while but keep putting off. A relationship with someone in which you both started on the same path but they went in another direction. Holding onto resentment. Feel like everything is up in flames. Writing. Seeking self-awareness. Manifesting. Intuitive. *Read that book you’ve been meaning to read. Needing a backup plan. Expanding. Hopeful prospects.

*If this doesn't feel like your pile, and you were eyeing pile 4, definitely check it out. This pile was actually the last I pulled and the hardest to read for and it felt like many aspects of it related to other piles as well. I recommend checking out a secondary pile in general if you were drawn to one.

Who will you become throughout this next chapter? Cards: The Waker, The Runaway, The Warrior (Sorry, I forgot to write down some of the cards 🤦‍♀️, I believe it was 'Fated Meeting' and 'Queen of Scrolls')

You’re becoming someone who is becoming centred/aligned and more intuitive. Your internal world and external world are going to become more connected. Connected to your ‘higher self’ as well, it’s going to be you vs you (levelling up). You’re going to become someone who can face the things you’ve been running from head-on.

That thing you’ve been putting off, you’re going to be able to finally put into action. Coming into being filled with inspiration, clarity and direction. This is especially if you’re considering careers/education, or projects in the fields of writing, publishing, marketing, communication, counselling or teaching. If you’re seeking a mentor, this person could help guide you to becoming this way. It could also be someone in your life already that may help you who is in one of these fields.

For a select few of you, you’re becoming the version of you that was meant to meet your person. If it’s not a romantic partner, then you’re coming into contact with a soulmate (meant as someone you have a ‘soul bond’ with).

Where Will You Find Success? Cards: 4 of Keys (Clearing The Way), Reflection, The Cartographer rev, The Weaver

If you find yourself prone to many different avenues of ideas and project but never settling on one, you’re going to find your success through settling on one thing and focusing on it. It’s time for you stop buckle down and stick with one of those brilliant ideas of yours and make it happen.

Also while it may be time for you to focus on one thing professionally or creatively, when it comes to yourself, it’s time to embrace all the pieces of you that seem random. It reminds me of this post I saw a couple of days ago about how we don't have to force ourselves fit perfectly into an aesthetic... that it's okay to have and embrace parts of your personality that are completely left field of the other bits that go hand in hand. So for some of you, maybe it’s time to embrace all the pieces of you that don’t go together neatly. Maybe that’s why you have these ideas and start them and then ditch them, because you’re a multifaceted being and you’re not allowing yourself to be so and that is the way it manifests in your life? Maybe it’s time to learn how to let all the sides of you coexist without getting lost. Food for thought maybe?

Regardless, it’s time to remove distractions that are holding you back. Tap into your intuition. Become more aware of your emotions. There's a sense of self-mastery is needed here.

Challenges You May Meet? Cards: The Pathless, The Miser, 1 of Scrolls (On Track), Up In The Air, 6 of Forces (The Waterfall) rev

Your challenges kind of relate to the things that were mentioned already. Being in your head, overthinking things, being unable to settle, but also trying to avoid falling into a headspace where you’re being pessimistic and stubborn. Just because you stick to one thing doesn’t mean you can’t shift and adjust your approach. And if you find that you’re really stuck don’t be afraid to just take a step back. If this is all relating to something where other people are giving you their unsolicited advice, don’t be afraid to brush it off and say “Hey, I might have hit a block but trust that I know what I’m doing”. Another scenario is to not internalise any unsolicited advice or opinions because I feel like that could be a trigger for getting lost in your head for some of you.

For overthinking, it'll be about learning to accept that you won’t be able to know the exact outcome of certain things. If you’re working with someone else, then feeling like you are in control or that you have a say may be the challenge. For others, the challenge may simply be making the decision or committing. It could also be coming to terms with the fact that you waited so long to pursue this goal.

Lessons To Be Learned: Cards: The Brawler, The Forgotten, 2 of Roses (The Winged Messengers), Uriel and the Sphinx, the king of roses

With the Forgotten you’ll learn that you can’t be afraid of mistakes. Mistakes help you grow. You'll come to realise how much fear has been holding you back. There's also learning how to make something out of your anxiety. Learning not to run from conflict or maybe how to properly address it could also be another lesson. This could be regarding internal conflict or conflict with another person as I am getting multiple scenarios come up.

Again there's a message here that for some of a romantic suitor specifically coming in. Overall for everyone there’s an important relationship making its way into your life. The mentor shows up as a neutral energy throughout the reading (or balanced feminine and masculine). Their energy is thoughtful, nurturing/comforting and supportive.

Advice — The Goat and Willow (overdoing obstacle) — even though there are losses to suffer, you can overcome them with renewed energy and the right balance. When obstacles appear, prioritise realigning yourself with your goals. You can even get ahead of the game and brainstorm ways to handle potential obstacles before they arise. The Chipmunk and Laurel (success) — Your path to success will be a unique one, one you have to create on your own, but there will be adventures along the way. The Elk and Ash (strength) — Don’t be afraid to fight back when met with a challenge.

If you made it this far I appreciate it. Feedback is welcomed and if there's a topic you'd like me to cover in a pac, feel free to let me know!

Pile 4 (The plane around the world)

CW: Brief implication of strong language

Who are you? Cards: The storyteller, the mascareri, 1 of roses (commitment), 6 of roses (the war of roses)

This pile may be the pile for you if any of the following resonates:

Someone who struggles with the 'self'. You may hide your true self and struggle to accept others' true selves. For you, you could spend a lot of time crafting your persona. For some of you you maybe in positions where you delegate to others or are responsible for others' behaviour (managerial or boss positions). Some of you could work with kids or want to work with kids. Putting on a mask. Neurodivergence. You could enjoy writing or be a writer of some kind. The arts. Struggling with a partnership (romantic or business), trying to balance honouring yourself and their wishes? Conflicted about a relationship. Feeling like there's a battle between your head vs your heart.

Who will you become throughout this next chapter? Cards: 4 of Scrolls rev (The Karmic Trenches), The Patron rev, The poet You’re becoming someone with so much to offer and is still looking to grow. However, people may want to take advantage of that. Becoming someone who doesn’t hesitate and is in love with life. Embracing that life is imperfect. Becoming more vulnerable. Finding like-minded people. Embracing happiness. Tapping into your creative spirit. There could be an ending of some kind, though you didn’t want it, it brought a world full of new opportunities. You're finally breaking a pattern but also having the awareness to know when you’re tip-toeing along the lines of going back. Coming out of the dark. This sense of being healed on multiple levels and being able to finally experience joy.

Where will you find success? Cards: The Astronomer Rev, The Hound, 5 of forces (summer/winter), 7 of keys (The Ascent) You’re going to be finding success through setting long-term goals. If this is about a financial situation especially, then also finding a balance between focusing on what is necessary and not letting the 'wishlist' desires lead you astray. It can apply to any situation in general though. Focusing on what’s necessary and the things you would like to do coming afterwards.

There's also a matter of assessing where your loyalties or priorities lie and releasing habits, relationships, and ideas that are no longer serving you. Loyalty and staying true to your word might be something you value heavily and stand by, but I also see you finding success in this next chapter of your life by realising, you know what, sometimes you have to cut your ties, count any losses and move on because staying is only doing more harm than good. For some of you who have a relationship in mind or the relationship part resonated with you, this is especially true.

Taking action in general will bring success. This chapter could either close out or begin in the summer, or summer will mark an important time for you. With the 7 of keys, your success is guaranteed as long as you put in the work.

Challenges You May Meet: Cards: The Founder, The Shepard, 3 of Scrolls (Setting Your Course), Caught in The Ruins With The Founder, a challenge you might run into is needing to put yourself before someone else who is asking you for your help, although I'm also feeling it maybe asking you to put them first. You might struggle to determine whether or not you should offer them your help. The Shepard urges you to step up and take the lead when others need guidance. However, I think the best question to ask is what kind of person do you have to show up as in order to offer them your support? And also what type of person do you have to show up as to meet your goals? I’d say make a decision on how to proceed based on whether the two can successfully coincide or not.

A lot of different situations come up in this pile— relationships, career/finance, behaviours… but the common theme here seems to come down to mindset. Whatever the situation is that has you feeling trapped, you have to realise that it’s not definitive, even if it seems that way in your head. It seems like a lot of what is going on, and what you have to overcome, is self-sabotage and realising that just because you’ve always done something a certain way or a situation has always played out that way, doesn’t mean it will always be that way. You have the power to change; the challenge here simply lies in picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. There’s so much more out there for you than what you’re seeing right now. If relocating or travelling, especially where you have to cross the ocean, is something you’re hoping to do, then the end of this chapter we’re discussing in this reading might be the beginning of that next chapter in your life.

Lessons To Be Learned: Cards: 3 of Roses (Loving Elementals), 5 of Roses (The Garden)

The lessons here are about having a sense of child like wonder, and learning to find joy and exploration in life. Being able to laugh and play and find inspiration once more. If any of you have been thinking about starting a family (not necessarily right away) then it’s likely that this chapter will set you up for that. If not then I think a matter of legacy here. Being exposed to opportunities to nurture and grow the future you desire.

You’ll learn that sometimes you are the one who has to be the catalyst to change your life. I love this line from the guidebook of my Citadel Orcale cards regarding the catalyst. It says “ You are the bolt of lightning that topples the tower”. If you think about the Tower card in the traditional tarot deck, there’s lightning striking the tower and setting it on fire. Whenever it comes up it talks about upheaval and there’s often a sense of “oh great, something’s about to come **** up my life” but maybe [we] should consider that we’re not always the tower, but instead, we are the lightning. You have to make the decision to do or become something different, even if goes against what you've always known or what everyone tells you you should do.

What’s also important is not dwelling on past mistakes or regrets, it’s about learning from what happened and using it to make a better decision. Stop doubting yourself and overthink until your head hurts. Give yourself some grace and self-compassion. Take your time, changing isn’t going to happen overnight and often times we have to adjust to who we’re allowing ourselves to become.

Advice to take with you in this next chapter:

The Bee and Pomegranate (productivity) rev — If you find yourself struggling with procrastination, don’t be afraid to rest a while before giving whatever it is another go. Consider what makes you productive as well as what you can do to change why you’re not feeling productive towards another task.

The Racoon and Sycamore (curiosity) — The time is now to do some self-exploration. Explore new interests and hobbies as well as take time to think about how you’ve evolved and how you’d like to further evolve.

The Finch and Peach (romance) — Love is on its way to you. (I did kind of feel like it’s romantic love but it wasn't a prominent message in the reading.)

The Bear and Cedar (leadership) — You’re being guided towards leadership opportunities but remember to ‘rule’ with fairness and care. Ask yourself how can you be a better leader? Who can benefit from your knowledge and experience?

If you made it this far I appreciate it. Feedback is welcomed and if there's a topic you'd like me to cover in a pac, feel free to let me know!

*** Disclaimer: All readings and tarot/blog games are for fun and entertainment purposes only. It is in no way meant to act as or replace professional advice of any kind. You know yourself and what’s going on in your life best so I ask that you trust yourself above all else. Finally please take only what resonates from the reading which may be some of it, all of it, or none at all.

#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a card reading #pac reading #pick a picture #pac #pick a pile reading #tarot reading #cozycottagetarot

745 notes · View notes

youalreadyhavefullresults · 9 months

Text

the mindset journey

So hi.

My mindset has been evolving a lot ever since I started this journey, and I thought I'd lay it all out in one post. Subliminals, mindless affirming, scripting, visualization, states. I've tried so many things out, and I think I've finally figured out what works for me.

TLDR:

Stop “trying” to manifest or checking the 3d, you already have full results, creation was over like since forever.

Sure you know that you’re God, as the posts and everything you’ve seen tells you, but have you really embraced that internally?

It doesn’t matter how many posts you read, it’s up to you to actually change your mindset.

Logic is literally useless, be delusional (don’t you just wanna go ape-shit :), go get your fucking desires)

Time is not linear, and means nothing when manifesting.

Revision is so powerful, use it.

It’s just so easy guys, please just make sure you’re actually applying the information you see instead of just passively scrolling through.

And the rest is under the cut, happy reading <33

I started off in the subliminal community in Oct 2020 and just had so many limiting beliefs, it was sad. Not to shit on the community or anything, some of them are wonderful people and most of them have changed their mindset as well, but my initial knowledge prevented me from getting to this point until now. But, now I’m here, and a day after I wrote this in my drafts, I literally manifested my ideal life. I originally started this blog to collect advice from loa blogs, but honestly, I don’t need any of it anymore. Though I do like helping people, so if you have any questions, feel free to shoot me an ask.

The Initial Mindset:

I always read through countless posts that say “You’re God” and “You literally can get what you want without even trying.” While I understood the text and adopted the mindset, I still did little subconscious things that contradicted it. While I affirmed my self-concept was perfect, I would also cram-study for exams and worry I would fail. I would say I look perfect, but then also worry about the way my body looked. Also, the way that I literally became obsessed with loa media? I spent hours watching Sammy Ingram videos, looping subliminals, and reading tumblr posts on “how to manifest faster and better”. During this phase of my life, my mind was plagued with intrusive thoughts and my self-concept was slowly getting better, but still absolute shit. I would manifest things here and there, but nothing life-changing.

The main problem however, was the fact that I would treat manifesting like a task I HAD to do. Now that school was back in session, I literally would zone out during specific classes on purpose and just affirm to myself. I would feel bad if I hadn’t listened to my subliminal playlist for the day because I “wasted time in getting my desires”. There’s nothing wrong with vainly affirming or listening to subs if you believe it works, but for me, treating manifesting like a task meant that I was looking for an outcome. Clearly, now I know better, that everything is always done and that there’s nothing to complete, but back then, this was probably the main reason why I struggled to see full results easily. I was acting out of desperation and didn't believe manifestation already was done.

When Everything Changed:

I know that it’s different for everyone, but my “aha!” moment was probably when I read this post. Seriously, go read it, it made me realize that I was going about it all wrong. Now, it wasn’t learning how to perfect my manifesting, it was learning to pull out the tiny limiting beliefs that had burrowed its way into my subconscious.

For example,

“I need to do xyz so that I can get my manifestations.”

Why would I would need to do anything if I already have all of my manifestations hmm? It’s literally already done. Like there’s no need to put in that effort into something that’s already perfect right? So why do I need to even need to try? I literally get whatever tf I want without even trying. This doesn’t mean that every method out there is useless, but in the end, you are the one doing the manifesting, not the method.

“But... this makes absolutely no logical sense! How would this even work?”

I know that STEM me loves finding the logic behind everything, so that’s why I struggled a lot with the logic and time aspect. But darling, it doesn’t need to make sense. There are literally so many things in the world that scientists to this day can’t explain, including just how powerful and complex your brain is. Not to mention the fact that concepts such as logic and science are literally man-made too? What’s the point in trying to deal with logic? Just let go and have fun.

“I affirmed so hard, and I believed it. But then it never showed up when the time came.”

First off, your time spent affirming means nothing, sorry to break it to you. It’s about the mindset(your state if you will) you currently exist in that truly makes a difference. And just because it didn’t show up today doesn’t mean that you missed your window of opportunity. Revision is still manifesting, because time is not a linear concept. Anything at any time can just change with a snap of your fingers. You want to change all of your test scores? Bam, it’s done. you wish WW2 never happened? Bam, it’s done. You want to relive the past 5 years of your life? Bam, it’s done. It doesn’t matter what the event is, what time it is, or that you “didn’t do it before the deadline”. Whenever you do get it(which is instant/soon if you're persisting properly), it will be there, seamlessly blended in with your 3d. You don’t need to worry about a damn thing, your subconscious will take care of everything for you.

“Oh no! I just had intrusive thoughts, did I just mess up my manifestations?”

Why are you giving intrusive thoughts the power to do anything? Sure, you may get them, but that doesn’t mean that they have any effect on you. It’s the doubt they make you feel in your mindset that truly messes it up. Don’t give in. Acknowledge the thought, accept that it literally means nothing, and continue to persist. Your thoughts only have the power you give them.

“Nah, everyone has to be lying, this doesn’t seem real.” / ”Manifesting must just be a coincidence, there’s no way this is real.”

Oh? So you’re saying, the amount of posts you’ve seen, all of the success stories, all of the followers and comments, are you saying every single one of them is lying? No. I’m not saying that every single one of them is truthful, but there’s no way that every single one of them would lie and put this much work into something that’s not real. If you find yourself struggling to believe in the law, I’d suggest you try to manifest something small, and then build up your belief from there. I sure as hell didn’t believe in any of this from the beginning, but then, I manifested consciously for the first time. Again, and again. It became easier, and my life got better. It soon becomes apparent that literally everything you think happens. I always used to wonder how things I randomly thought in the back of my head always happened even though I literally didn’t do anything about it in the 3d. This proved to me that your mental state is more powerful than it seems.

“Can I manifest-”

Yes. Just yes. You’re GOD. GOD. Why tf is God asking some random loa account if they can manifest something or not? Ofc God would know that they can manifest whatever the fuck they want instantly. Do you think when God said “Let there be light”, he first asked people around him if he could? No. He took that shit and just fucking ran with it.

“But-but, what if-”

Uh-uh. I don’t want to fucking hear it. Like I said in the previous section, stop overthinking everything you do. Just go. Run with what you already know and manifest the life of your dreams. You don’t need to keep looking for new information, some specific post that changes everything for you. All they can do for you is steer you in the right direction. You’re the one who’s going to have to figure out our mindset and pull yourself together, no one else can do it. Take back your power, embrace it. I don’t care if you unfollow every single loa account or delete tumblr, just stop looking for the next post. Why would you need more information when you already have everything you need?

I wrote down everything I struggled with, forgot about it, and continued to persist in my new mindset. I ignored any negative 3d circumstances, and just vibed in the feeling that my desires were already here, that feeling of contentment someone has when everything in their life is just amazing. The main question I asked myself was, what would a person who had ____ think, and I went from there. Soon the things I wanted just started popping up in my life, just as I knew it would. I feel like the things I’ve said in this post are pretty much the same concepts you see all over loa tumblr, which is why it’s so important that you actively take in the information that’s being given to you and actually apply it. I was obsessed with tumblr and kept on scrolling through countless blogs and posts, and I was only able to fully manifest after I stepped away from all of that. There is no big secret. There’s no miraculous method that will fix everything for you. There’s just... you. And your subconscious. Whatever you tell your subconscious, goes. As simple as that.

How about, instead of scrolling to whatever next loa post you were about to see on this app, you close tumblr and just go live your best life? Don’t overcomplicate it and just do whatever feels natural to you. I hope this post helped, happy manifesting!

-cinna

#self concept #motivation #loa #law of assumption #manifestation #subconscious #success story #mine #mindset #neville goddard #manifesting #loassumption #law of manifestation

638 notes · View notes

its-time-to-write · 11 months

Note

perhaps some angst?? reader and jamie break up but fluff at the end because he wins her back 🥹

I’m sorry this took me so long 😭 Not always the best at writing angst. Thanks for requesting!

can’t really say i’m enjoying it now

“What the fuck, Jamie,” you say. “What the actual fuck.”

You’re in Richmond’s boot room after training. You’d been upstairs with Rebecca which is a bit of why you’re even in this mess.

After all, she’s the one who told you he’d changed.

She’s the one who told him to just go for it.

She’s the one who showed you the interview clip.

You might be on the offensive, but Jamie’s on the defensive.

“I don’t get why you’re so fuckin upset, babe,” he shrugs, attempting nonchalance. His eyes, however, are just as fiery as yours. “It’s not that big a deal.”

“Not that big-not that big a deal? Then what is a big deal, Jamie? And don’t ‘babe’ me, you are in absolutely no place to pull that shit after that shit you pulled.”

In another circumstance, that turn of phrase would have made Jamie laugh. Would have made him comment on your command of the English language.

Would have made him kiss you.

Now however, he just throws his hands in the air and says, “It was just an interview. Those are things you say in an interview. ‘Case you forgot, I’m a fucking famous footballer.”

“How can I forget?” you shoot back, arms crossed, “it’s all you ever fucking talk about.”

“At least I’m not a self-absorbed grad student who thinks she’s all that because she ‘makes her own money,’ and ‘has a real job.’” Here Jamie mocks your voice, high pitched and whiny.

All you can see is red. “Damnit Jamie, that is a far cry from telling the entire world about how grateful I am that you decided to date me, and then bragging about how fucking out-of-my-league you are. I’m not some goddamn charity case! And then you had the audacity to make jokes about our private life on live television. Live television, Jamie. Do you know how many people saw that? And are going to see that? It’s not just a joke about yourself anymore. It involves me too.”

Jamie looks at you, eyes narrowed. He knows he should back down, but he won’t. It’s not in his nature to surrender a fight. “It’s not like anyone’s going to fuckin care, anyway. You’re not even famous, so who gives a shit?”

That catches you off guard. You weren’t famous, that was true, but there were a few more results in a google search of your name these days. Because of Jamie. Some were kind, some were not.

You knew you had been prickly about it, because you wanted people to know you for you, not as some footballer’s girlfriend. You wanted to be known for your graduate research, for helping people, for something that mattered.

You had been lashing out as a result, flexing your presumed intelligence in a less-than-graceful manner.

You had seen Jamie bottle up every retort, but now it was all coming out.

He was wrong, but so were you. You know you should back down, but you won’t. It’s not in your nature.

You whisper, “I give a shit, Jamie Tartt. I do. It’s my name but it doesn’t even belong to me anymore. It’s always tied to yours and I can’t get it back.”

You glare at each other in silent anger. The air feels so thick that you could reach out and put a piece in your pocket. There are hot, angry tears in your eyes, and Jamie’s face is red, eyebrows knit together. Your arms are in fists at your sides, and Jamie’s are tightly crossed. Each of you sending the message, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.

Finally Jamie speaks up. “You want your fucking name back?” he asks, far too calmly. “You can have it. We’re done.”

For a moment, all you can hear is roaring in your ears. Then- “Fuck you. Fine. You think I’m a self-righteous bitch? At least I know who I am, and I’m working on it instead of pretending to be something I’m not. Have a nice life, Jamie,” you reply, icy voice cooling the fire in your veins. You turn sharply on your heel and walk out of the boot room. You don’t slam the door. You won’t give him the satisfaction.

Jamie kicks a bench and lets out a single, “Fuck!”

—

That was three months ago. You booked the first flight you could find back to your parents’ house before you even told them you were coming home for a visit. They were overjoyed to have you, despite the circumstances of your return.

You managed to keep it together right until the moment you saw your dad’s face at baggage claim, and then you felt everything fall apart. He hugged you as though it was the only thing keeping you from shattering into a million pieces, and you just sobbed.

You spend a month on their couch, slogging through schoolwork and binge-watching tv. Your mom walks with you every morning, claiming she needs someone to keep her from cutting corners. In reality, the fresh air is good for you. She lets you walk in silence, and squeezes your hand the exact moment before a tear falls from your eye.

“He’s just a young man,” she says, “They do dumb things. He’ll learn. I’m sorry he had to learn through you, but you won’t feel this way forever.”

You tell her once this feels like taking his side. She laughs and says, “Having grace for someone is not the same as taking their side. And anyway, which one of you have I let live in my house for the past three weeks?”

Your dad is less forgiving. You hear your mom talking him out of buying a plane ticket to London. “Violence is not the answer for this,” she says.

You can’t hear your dad’s reply, but it’s something along the lines of “Just wanted to talk to him.”

Your mom laughs. Your dad is downright frightening when he wants to be, violence or no. You catch a snip of “Poor boy, his father- can’t be expected- not excusing-” before you put in some earbuds and slip off to sleep.

Your mom is on your side. She just has the unnerving tendency to understand both sides of an argument. You’re grateful that she doesn’t make any snide comments about Jamie like your sister does, because there’s a part of you that just hurts because that part still loves him, and it feels like slander on his name is slander on yours.

You try not to note that your name is still inextricably intertwined with his.

—

Back in Richmond, Jamie is throwing himself fully into football. He doesn’t talk or joke so much anymore, just silently goes through training. He plays better, if anything. He kicks the ball with such precision during matches that the game is won if he’s even remotely near the goal. He is vicious, unforgiving, vengeful toward himself. The team leaves him alone, except Roy and Ted.

Roy still takes him for training every morning and Ted comes over to Jamie’s house with lunch every weekend.

Jamie is still silent.

—

You spend the next two months in Richmond, trying to make new memories in the places that only remind you of Jamie. It’s almost impossible, because all you can think about is his smile, and how his sharp canines glinted in the light. How his hands would catch your waist and thumbs would draw circles on your hipbones. How he could bring you to tears of laughter in a single sentence or well-timed look.

You’re almost at a point of forgiveness when you see a tabloid. You don’t even register the picture because all you can focus on is the bolded name in the headline. It’s Jamie’s name.

You’re sure it’s about some girl he’s with, because what else would be in a tabloid? You roll your eyes and scoff. Typical. Leave it to him to bounce back. You suppose long-term relationships mean nothing to him.

After that, you stay in your flat. You only leave during times you know are impossible to bump into him.

Things start to get better. If Jamie’s moved on, so can you. You begin going on runs again. You stop by Mae’s now and again to chat with the regulars. She slips you free chips with a wink and a pat on the hand.

You still think about Jamie. He’s on your mind and you wonder if you’re on his. You remember the tabloid and shake your head.

You’re one semester away from graduating, and your research has started to mean something. You google your name once and see your name in a singular footnote in a research paper you helped write. It’s the first result. You smile.

—

You are so close to having your first Jamie-free day. He hasn’t been the first thing on your mind for two days. You don’t have that feeling of falling, or of guilt. It is a beautiful Thursday morning, so you get up, put on your jogging clothes, then head out the door for a run. It’s a little cloudy but you swear that’s the best weather to exercise in. Less sweaty. You are three months out from your breakup and you are beginning to feel joy again. You turn a corner, thinking about a nice coffee, when you ram straight into something warm and solid. You lose your balance, but strong arms reach out to catch you.

“Shit, I’m so sorry!” you cry. “I should have looked where I was-”

Words escape you as you look up into the blue eyes of your rescuer.

“Hi,” he breathes. “I’ve missed you.”

You’re trapped in his gaze for a minute before-

“Ow!”

You’ve stomped on Jamie’s foot.

“What was that for?” he asks indignantly.

“Oh I don’t know,” you reply, “maybe for being a complete asshole? It also could be for snogging whatever model you were with in that tabloid? Real stellar move, showing that much remorse. I’m glad it didn’t take long to get over me. Guess the phrase ‘long-term relationship’ means something different to footballers than it does to us little people.”

Jamie opens his mouth, shuts it, then opens it again.

“Look, you’re right, I’m a fuckin’ arsehole, but what are you talking about? What model?”

You’re a little thrown off by his admission to being an asshole. “What do you mean, ‘what am I talking about?’ I saw your name show up in some headline and you’re only ever in there for some girl, and I get it, it’s fine that you’ve moved on, it just feels really fucking quick.”

Jamie has the audacity to chuckle. “It weren’t about some model. It was about you.”

You go cold. This can’t be happening again. Jamie Tartt, spilling his guts in some sleazy interview, painting you in the worst light.

He sees the look of absolute horror on your face so he hurries on, “Look. You were right. I shouldn’t’ve said what I did. But I did, and I can’t take it back. So I’m doing me best to make it right. It were about a tv interview where they asked about you, and I said we’d broken up. Told them I was a complete prick about everything and I let you slip through my fingers.” For the first time, you take a good look at Jamie’s face. He looks truly awful. Hair floppy (and not in a good way), bloodshot eyes, dark circles.

He continues, “I know I shouldn’t have been a prick about being famous. It’s just, I get in me fuckin’ head about shit like this. Did the same thing with Keeley. Got scared of something real and knew I’d fuck it up eventually, so I thought I might as well get it over with. And anyway, you’re way out of my league. Figured I might as well let you go before you figured it out. I’ve been- I’ve been getting better. Less dick-like. You can ask anyone, Roy, Coach, whoever. I’m really trying, here. And I know I fucked things between us, and you don’t have to forgive me, but I’m just trying to be better for me and whoever fucking has to put up with me next.”

You have no words. All you can do is stare at him. You hear your mom’s voice saying, “He’s just a young man. He’ll figure himself out.”

You hear Keeley saying, “he’s grown so much, really, he almost isn’t even the same person anymore.”

You hear Rebecca, as you sat in her office right before Jamie asked you out, telling you, “He’s a shockingly fast learner. Only has to be told something once, and it’s in his head forever. Give him a chance.”

You open your mouth and what comes out is: “I’m sorry too.”

Jamie looks just as shocked that you said that as you are, but you keep going. “My mom talked to me a lot about- about deciding what you can forgive. And I guess, I know I wasn’t blameless. I pushed you away on purpose, and I was aware of every single word that I said that hurt you. She also talked about ‘age-appropriate mistakes.’ She said both you and I made them, and that doesn’t mean I should take you back but that I should at least consider forgiveness. It’s easy to forget that we’re really young, you know? We both have a lot of responsibility, and I forget that it’s ok if we make mistakes. And you being you, your mistakes are more public. I- I needed to figure out if I could deal with it or not. I’m still not sure if I can. I don’t want my life to be on display.”

Jamie nods, expression intent. You take a breath and then continue. “But I guess that I need to figure out which I want more. Privacy, or you. I mean, if that’s even something you want.”

Jamie’s eyes have never left your face. He says, “Always knew I liked your mum,” and then he’s pushing a strand of hair our of your eyes, hesitantly, giving you time to pull away.

You don’t.

You let him run his fingers through your hair.

You let him kiss you, softly.

You let him back into your life.

I missed you, he had said.

You pull back, smiling. “By the way, I missed you too.”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

554 notes · View notes

pix3lplays · 2 months

Note

Even though I am on break. I just want to say thank you for your words. In exchange, I will give you an idea.

I had thoughts of Yandere Aha. Aha blesses people you are going to date as a way to get closer to you. Your future partner starts to be more crazy and ecstatic. Your partner then receives a mask and it says that if they wear they can stop the delusions. They wear it as soon as they wore it, they sealed their fate and became a puppet for the Aeon.

I like to think that when someone wears a mask from Aha. Aha can posses them.

Yeah, of course, take care of yourself and take your time, thank you for the idea~

How did you know I am so normal for Aha~

My first aeon love oh my gosh I’m so normal about them and this idea…fun piece of Pixel lore: I am unwell over Aha.

Notes: I had to do some research for this one…I will probably go with the idea of Aha just…taking over reader’s partners, but interestingly enough Aha can actually shape shift into a human…I wonder what they’d look like in a human form.

ANYWAYS gonna take this idea and play with it, sorry it’s not exact but it’s giving me thoughts, and based on my research I think Aha would be powerful enough to do what I’m describing?? It’s hard to say exactly how the powers of the Aeons work so I make some assumptions, and Aha has even been described as less powerful as some of the other Aeons but…they’re still an Aeon…they still DESTROYED an entire planet. I’m telling you these Aeons are SCARY…

I believe Aha refers to themself in the third person in the games so…that’s what I’m going with.

Not a fic not headcanons but a secret third thing

Totally made something up for what Aha sounds like

Cw! Yandere themes, Aha using people as puppets/vessels, body horror, Aha breaking peoples’ minds, stalking Aeon-style, horror elements, violence, death

-Yandere! Aha x reader-

You didn’t care for the Aeons. Maybe that’s what attracted Aha to you in the first place? You weren’t a Masked Fool…you haven’t been blessed by an Aeon…you were just a regular person, maybe a little jaded with life but…you were doing okay for yourself.

You still remember him…your first partner. He was so sweet, loved you so much…gave you a bit more of a fervor for being alive and living. You can’t remember anymore how long you were married to him.

Who can say exactly what changed…but you would wager it had something to do with the Masked Fools. He had the unfortunate privilege of running into them, you didn’t know what happened, but he hadn’t been the same since.

Could you have even helped him if you knew? You’re not sure. But you felt it every time you were together. An unwanted presence in your bedroom…a feeling like so many pairs of eyes on you, no matter where you went…a faint tugging at the back of your minds, the tiniest touch of insanity ripping at your psyche…the faint sound of bells in the distance that you forced yourself to dismiss. It was nothing. Just the wind, just the wind.

Your husband’s decent into madness was quick and painful.

You came home one day from work and your husband was waiting for you. Just standing so still, in the kitchen, head tilted at a slightly unnatural angle, a smile spreads on his face when he sees you, a smile too wide…

It makes you stop in your tracks.

“Honey?”

He comes closer, you back away, his movements…they are not human…it’s subtle but NOT human.

“What’s the matter, dear?” he asks, dragging a hand along the dining table, as if that would help make his movements appear more human. It just results in him accidentally knocking a glass off the table, just cementing the idea in your mind that something is DEFINITELY wrong and that is NOT your husband.

You back into the kitchen counter, your eyes not leaving your “husband” while you reach for a kitchen knife.

“Stay AWAY from me! What ARE you and what have you done with my husband?!” you demand, angling the knife at him.

The creature laughs. Laughs hard, the sound of your husband’s voice fading away and turning into a cacophony of voices. You know that laugh. The one you dismissed as a mere daydream, just a side effect of an overactive imagination…

That sensation that felt like a tugging at the back of your mind returns.

You know what this is.

THIS is the creature that has been stalking you and your husband all this time.

“Aha is just borrowing his body…” the creature explains, getting closer and closer to you. “Aha is just-”

You don’t let them finish. As soon as they’re close enough you swing the knife, and the creature catches the blade with your husband’s hand, gripping tight enough on the sharp side of the weapon that his fingers are bleeding while Aha grins even wider at you.

They click their tongue at you mockingly, pulling the knife out of your hands, giving their own bleeding hand a shake, amused at the fact that they were in such a frail, mortal body. You watch the blood splatter onto the floor.

“Attacking your own husband,” the Aeon laughs…“you’re much more heartless than Aha anticipated. How…”

Using your husband’s body, the Aeon cups your face, coating one of your cheeks in blood. Writhe all you want, their grip is strong.

“Fun,” the Aeon says, grinning. “Aha looks forward to seeing more of you…Aha will be watching, as long as you continue to be entertaining…”

“Leave us ALONE!!” you shout, and with that sickening laughter, the Aeon releases your husband, who looks at you with wide, terrified eyes before collapsing onto the floor.

He didn’t remember any of it. There are gaps in his memory, black spots of inky blackness when Aha took over…the only sensations being the pain of being twisted from the inside by the Aeon.

The two of you turn to the Masked Fools for help…nothing comes of it. You shouldn’t be surprised that you were only met with laughter, or them saying, “if it is true…consider yourself blessed.”

Right…some blessing.

At first your husband stuck beside you but…the presence of Aha was really destroying your married life.

At first Aha would only take over your husband on occasion…stay a short while, and leave just as quickly.

But soon it was becoming more and more frequent…soon your husband had more memories of darkness than of you. Soon you were begging Aha to just LEAVE YOU ALONE while the Aeon held you in the body of your husband, stroking your hair and cooing to you in many voices.

He couldn’t take it anymore, and really…you couldn’t blame him…

You still remember when he said he wanted a divorce.

You don’t know why he bothered to take you to the opera that night, just to tell you the two of you were through at the end of the performance. You’re walking together, and when you get to the large staircase on your way out, you sense it. Aha’s presence. You try. Try to grab your husband’s arm but it’s too late. Aha tripped him up, forced him to slip…and fall all the way down the stairs. You and everyone else could only watch helplessly. He landed at the bottom of the stairs with an ungraceful sound…

It was a long fall…he was dead.

You were suddenly alone. You locked yourself away for a while…your only company being the faint sounds that told you Aha was watching.

And when you finally let yourself live again…you set limits. No more love. You wouldn’t let Aha hurt anyone else because of you.

So the Aeon will just have to be more aggressive with you.

Soon it didn’t matter anymore. As long as you were anywhere where there were people, you were guaranteed to run into the Aeon, in the body of some poor soul who would be permanently damaged from the experience. Aha no longer had the patience to be gentle.

Avoid people all you want…soon it was the Masked Fools chasing after you, trying to see Aha for themselves.

You tried to tell them they’d just be hurting themselves by associating with you but…no one will listen. More puppets for Aha…

Really, you lose regardless of what you do…you could just isolate yourself. Never hurt anyone again. But you wouldn’t even be living.

Or accept that the Aeon will just keep chasing you, trampling anyone they pleased, learn to live with it, that you’re unwillingly the cause of so much pain…

If only you knew that the solution was so simple…

Just submit.

You can’t outrun an Aeon.

#honkai star rail #honkai star rail x reader #Aha #Hsr Aha x reader #honkai star rail Aha x reader #yandere #tw yandere #cw yandere #cw dark content #tw dark content #dark content

90 notes · View notes

punkpandapatrixk · 7 months

Text

Full Harvest Moon in Aries ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

In my experience, Full Harvest Moon is always significant for those who are more spiritually attuned. This period allows—almost forces, actually—us to die to the previous cycle of our lives much like the trees shedding their leaves. This is a period of slowing down; of calm but maybe also a little bit of depression; of sweeping changes and moving places; of pausing and recalibration; which could cause a sickening sense of losing control of our lives, though in reality, we’re just being prepared for a massive transformation.

If anything, all these changes are the perfect answers to all you’ve prayed for! It’s harvest time for a lot of us! Some of us are having a mini harvest but those are results nevertheless. You’ve done marvellously well to be here right now. And haven’t you grown so much? I’m grateful you’ve made it this far.

Speak into existence your higher intent this Harvest Moon. Be at peace knowing that whatever transpires, everything works out in your favour. Your manifestations are protected, more than you may realise. Work on beautifying all elements of your Life, taking care of all aspects of your physical and spiritual health, and most of all, enjoy Life. All the changes you’ve managed to manifest thus far. There’s plenty more coming but you can’t compete with Destiny, yeah?

All in Divine Timing~🌕Congratulations and happy harvest~🌾

[Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Returning to the Essentials

intent – Ace of Pentacles

You’ve made it exceedingly clear to the Universe that you want a higher sense of stability in your Life. You might’ve come from a background of poverty mindset or that your environment was brimming with individuals operating on lack mindset. A lot of the people you used to surround yourself with were literal peasants in that they’re always hungry for something more… but won’t work on themselves to become a vibrational match to those higher desires. So, essentially, beggars. Beggars for love, for money, attention, recognition, status, you name it.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting those seemingly unspiritual things, what is a problem is the sense of underserving of those things that people won’t even make the first step towards planting those seeds of manifestation for their own personal fulfilment. Such people only end up with rotten envy, jealousy, spite, bitterness, and even resentment. You saw all of that. Swam in an ocean of such mindsets and tendencies. You finally woke up and said, ‘I want none of that nonsense anymore. None of it is natural. I want out!’

sow – 4 of Cups

So, you ejected yourself from those situations and possibly burnt some bridges. It was better to be alone and work on the essentials. You get to know yourself better that way, all strengths and weaknesses, all opportunities and challenges. You’ve enjoyed learning and studying things that inspire you to continue to build a sparkly Life, right? You’ve worked plenty hard on your own fixing your internal compass, haven’t you? None of that will ever go to waste. You were creating vibrational pathways towards your Highest Possible Intended Destiny. It’s time to begin anew with your visions. Your plans are taking shape. You can see clearly where to step in your next chapter of hustle.

I guess, you’re still feeling like you’re not quite there yet. Or that it feels like your desired reality is taking its sweet time. I guess you could be struggling with dissatisfaction every now and then. Or that certain days you can’t believe the insane level of boredom that suddenly strikes. Sometimes you wonder if there’s any meaning to all this internal hustle you’ve been doing. But there totally is and the fact of the matter is that you’re building strength and momentum at the present moment. I suspect very strongly you’re going to be insanely busy in the next cycle of your Life. Cherish this period. It probably will never come again and soon enough this chapter is only gonna remain a memory you recount sometimes as part of your Life’s Story.

reap – 4 of Wands

And finally, I’m sure you’re already feeling this without anyone else telling you: you’re returning to the essentials. You’ve rediscovered the essence of your being. The styles that suit you. Pursuits that delight you genuinely. These are the few things that truly matter to you and that’s all you want to spend energy on. If in the past you were frantically chasing a few forms of aesthetics or had a number of dreams to pursue, you’ve narrowed everything down to only the essentials—the ones that truly make you feel excited, alive.

Although it feels like returning to your inner child essence, at the same time, you’re not the old you. You’re completely brand new. You’re like a transcendent version of your truer self in the past. It feels strangely nostalgic but also novel. Like you’re holding this inexplicable paradox inside of you. But the truth is, you’ve simply transcended above the duality of light and dark, good and bad. You’re now living in the non-dualistic 5D version of this Earth Matrix. Congrats! You’ve truly awakened! Welcome to 5D Earth, Master Manifestor~!

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Your Heart Has the Best Compass

intent – VII The Chariot

First of all, you’re an incredibly intuitive person and to a large extent, I think you’re psychic. You could have one or two of the clairs. Clairvoyance, clairaudience, clairsentience, claircognisance. You are often guided by your intuition to make changes or attempts that may not always look sensible or responsible by other people. But you seem to have disregarded all of other’s expectations or advice. You believed in yourself and decided to pursue something dearly important to your heart. In a manner of speaking, you were following the path of your Destiny, so congrats! You made the right decision. From here on you can only get stronger.

In your physical Reality, I see you experiencing bounds and leaps of good fortune! You don’t need a shooting star to help make your dreams come true now, you are the Star itself. You make what you want come to Light. It’s possible you’re gonna see people in your Reality being more polite, helpful, cuter, kinder, and generally more pleasant. You’d be like, ‘Did I just jump timelines? Is this still the same Earth I’m used to?!’ Well, you quantum jumped into a higher dimension of Reality and you should be proud of all the inner work you’ve done to be in alignment with these higher frequencies!

sow – Knight of Cups

So, this is another water/emotion energy. The Knight here is simply saying you’re ready to take your Life to the next level of happiness—a spiritual variety of contentment whilst living on Earth. I think you want Love? XD You’re beginning to really want what people call ‘5D relationships’. You want to meet your Soul Mates, your Destined Person, your Soul Tribe. You want Love in a peaceful, exciting, creative world. And you’re going to ‘work’ on that. You’ve decided to never let anyone disrespect you for all the weirdness you have to show them. Unapologetic for days. You ain’t afraid to be seen as a bitch, or a weirdo, an alien, or even a villain.

Nevertheless, all that is just the outer package of your person, which is needed to navigate some hardships in Life when they arise. On the inside, you’ve truly become soft, peaceful, content, and I think you’re pretty much happy with where you are in Life now. Out of all the Piles, yours feels most like you’re truly starting something new that you’re passionate about. There’s something you’ve been meaning to do/create/launch which is only needing the right Divine Timing. Once you hit the bell, there’s no snooze button—you’re going on a ride! Life is gonna get super exciting, so stay on your lane because you’re totally on the right path towards changing your Life!

reap – 3 of Pentacles Rx

When your Life finally takes that amazing turn, you’re going to be spoiled by the Universe with a lot of happiness. I’m seeing SO much abundance beyond material means. You’re going to be SO beautiful. I’m seeing a crazy glow up one way or another. Perhaps because now you have access to those things that can support a glow up. New wardrobe. New teeth. New face for some… New country. New house. New everything and you look gorgeous! That said, there are family members or childhood friends who are totally NOT gonna understand your transformation. Yeah… let peasant be peasants if you ask me.

There are those of you who will want to provide for your family/friends with your newfound wealth and if they’re deserving of that, why not? Just please don’t do any of that with the desire to get their approval, and this is especially the case if your family/friends are incredibly toxic. Live for yourself, babe. Share only with those who are deserving. Only you can decide this but ultimately, respect yourself enough to never beg the acknowledgement of those who are already committed to seeing you in a negative light. Never let ANYBODY reduce your accomplishments, transformations, your Light. Never let anybody poop on your parade XD

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Hand of Fucking Midas

intent – Page of Wands

Okay, in spite of the title, of all the Piles, your energy has a sage vibe to it. I feel like you’ve transformed into a spiritual master of sort. You got away from the Matrix’s rat race. All the riches you used to think you should have in order to feel like you belonged in society have gone out the window. There are so many material things you do not care about anymore. You’ve rediscovered your essence as a spiritual being having a Human experience. It’s all just a Game and you’re going to have the best-value experience whilst being here. You’ve cultivated a mindset of beauty. ‘Nothing is worthwhile if it’s not beautiful.’

You only want to float beautifully until the day you die. The paradox of your existence is that now that you don’t desire anything desperately anymore, everything comes to you ever so effortlessly. Perhaps it really is because you don’t care if it comes to you or not. It’s exactly because you’re free from worries and anxieties that your positive vibrations effortlessly call forth those positive expectations into your energetic field, and surely enough, they manifest in the physical whether or not you really want them. Paradox. Paradox.

sow – 5 of Pentacles

Reiterating the previous message, here is you sowing seeds of nothingness in this world. From nothingness comes everything. If you don’t limit yourself, anything, literally everything, is possible to create. You’ve tapped into the VOID and understood the secret of Co-Creation. Might it be that you’ve had a really strange, esoteric dream recently? I think you could’ve been activated in your sleep. I feel more strongly that this whole developing a Midas Touch was brought about after transmuting a fuckload of personal traumas you’ve accumulated in this incarnation.

You’ve been through all the sides of sorrow and happiness that now you’re clearer as to what kinds of things are truly meaningful for a Human existence. Now you only want the essentials, and those things you consider essentials are concepts still too difficult too grasp for most Humans. Though you do not carry the essence of being Human, you more than them understand what being Human should be all about. It’s insane. It’s all paradoxical. But you’re here on a mission to beautify this realm. To help Mankind elevate themselves above the status of being miserable slaves—slaves often to their own toxic desires. You’ve transcended all of that via your own suffering.

reap – 9 of Pentacles

From here on, there is no more lack. Because you don’t want much anymore. You’ve let go of all the tight grips on the illusions and temptations of the Matrix. Your wants are now purer, kinder, fairer. I feel you want everybody to have also the things that you take for granted. You want everybody to share in the bounty of the natural world easily. ‘There are things in this world that are NOT supposed to be expensive.’ You want everybody to have access to basic needs at a decent level/quality without having to pay for a premium.

All of that said, I think in the future you’re soon going to have your own business that helps improve the lives of your community instead of ruining the ecosystem and making it hard for everybody. If not a business, you could be involved in some sort of invention or revolution that could, well, revolutionise the way many people live, work or approach businesses on their own terms. I think this Pile has the potential to change the world for the better. You may not care that much about such wild dreams for now, for you are currently peacefully enjoying some fruits of your intense spiritual labour thus far.

But it’s coming, baby~ Your train to awesome is coming to pick you up. Just chill~ When Divine Timing strikes, your body is gonna move on its own😉

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

191 notes · View notes

jujumin-translates · 9 days

Text

★ Main Story | Act 13 - Budding Spring | Chapter 3 - One Step Up

*Door opens*

Kumon: We’re back~!

Juza: We’re home.

Taichi: I’m starving~.

Tenma: Looks like Omi-san’s in charge of dinner tonight.

Tsuzuru: Smells like it’s something with a demi-glace sauce…

Omi: The beef stew will be ready soon.

Kumon: Woo~! I was hoping to eat some meat~!

Kazunari: The Yosei Uni Gang’s really building up their forces~.

Muku: Kyu-chan’s the only new one, though.

Yuki: But he’s got the presence of about two or three people.

Tsumugi: How’s college life been going, Kumon-kun?

Kumon: It’s super interesting! Unlike with my classes in high school, I actually feel motivated to study on my own.

Kumon: Plus I get to be with Nii-chan!

Banri: I figured you had had that planned from the start, but you actually didn’t decide on where you were gonna go for school until much later, right?

Kumon: Hey, I thought about it a lot, y’know.

Kumon: And I didn’t just think about Nii-chan, I also made sure to think about the best college for me to go to.

Azami: The growth of someone with a brother complex.

Yuki: They still ended up at the same college, though.

Kumon: That’s ‘cause Nii-chan and Tenma-san seemed like they really liked it there!

Tenma: Well, you are right about that.

Juza: Glad ya got accepted in.

Taichi: You’ve been doing great with writing essays and doing job interview prep~.

Kumon: Hehe. That’s thanks to you, Nii-chan, and Tenma-san for teaching me so much!

Chikage: It’s so touching to see Tenma becoming the tutor.

Tenma: Thanks for that.

Kazunari: Yawn~…

Tsuzuru: You seem tired, Miyoshi-san.

Kazunari: I had a deadline for some urgent work yesterday. Hardly got any sleep~.

Tsuzuru: Good work.

Muku: You suddenly seem like much more of an adult, Kazu-kun.

Kazunari: What I do is kinda just an extension of what I did in college, but once that label of “student” is gone, it makes you a little more conscious of it.

Omi: It’s a lot of work and responsibility, but it’s also a lot of fun.

Tsuzuru: Is that so…

Kazunari: You’ll get what we’re talking about in a year, Tsuzurun~.

Izumi: Omi-kun’s right, your impression of things changes once you graduate from college.

Azuma: I enjoy seeing these changes every year once spring comes.

Homare: Yes, however, there are still some of us that haven’t changed much at all.

Azuma: It’s thanks to everyone that spring is nice like this.

Tasuku: Well, even though some of us haven’t been through any major changes, I’m sure we’re all busy with something, right?

Guy: It appears that you’ve been getting more and more requests to do guest appearances, Takato.

Sakuya: Ah, actually, I’m about to get an offer to perform on a slightly bigger stage too--.

Tsumugi: Really? That’s great.

Tasuku: That’s probably the result of steadily building up your experience. Shows how much you’ve become recognized as an actor.

Sakuya: Thank you so much!

Citron: I have started getting pressured to do arts and culture-related work from all over the place~.

Itaru: And I’m still annoyed that I’m stuck being treated like some mid-level NPC…

Chikage: That’s normal for having worked there for five years.

Guy: Speaking of that, I’ve been entrusting Mikage with more work, too.

Hisoka: I know how to make a few appetizers now…

Tasuku: What, like toasted marshmallows and marshmallow pizza?

Hisoka: Well, yeah, but there’s other stuff too.

Homare: To be dabbling in dishes other than ones with marshmallows… that’s quite remarkable progress!

Misumi: Speaking of new things, my friend Mii-chan just had a litter of kitties~.

Muku: Congratulations!

Yuki: Why are you congratulating the Trianglien for it?

Izumi: Seems like everything’s going smoothly for the company while each of you is moving forward and changing in your own ways.

Izumi: That reminds me, the kid we met today also said he was going to be a new high school student starting in the spring.

Kumon: Huh~, what was he like?

Tsuzuru: He was an interesting one, for sure.

Masumi: He wasn’t interesting, he was annoying.

Itaru: He was an avid Masumi fan.

Izumi: He said he used to live in a rural area and that he’s been supporting us for quite some time via our streams.

Sakyo: Is that the power of MIZUNO Enterprises…?

Sakyo: We’ll have to keep up our efforts to reach an even wider audience.

Izumi: He said he was really looking forward to seeing one of our performances live.

Tasuku: There is just something different about seeing a play in person.

Sakuya: There really is. He was really looking forward to seeing it, so we’ll have to do our best not to disappoint.

Izumi: Ah, right! The idea came to me when we were talking to that kid, but--.

Izumi: How does a workshop aimed at beginners sound for the upcoming event?

Izumi: When I realized that people were interested in theater because of MANKAI Company’s performances, I thought that maybe promoting theater as a concept could be necessary too.

Izumi: And I think it’d be a good experience for us to share the joy of plays with them more directly and to have fun together.

Sakuya: That’s true, that could be a really good idea!

Citron: It sounds very fun!

Chikage: But wouldn’t people who have more experience with theater, like Tenma, Tasuku, or Tsumugi, be more suitable for teaching people than us Spring Troupe members?

Tsuzuru: He’s got a point, most of us are still pretty inexperienced actors. I mean, almost all of us were complete amateurs until a few years ago.

Masumi: I can do it.

Itaru: You’re probably the least qualified to teach.

Izumi: That’s the point. You all still feel like amateurs and remember how you felt when you first stepped on stage just a few years ago.

Izumi: I’m confident that you guys will be able to convey theater from a perspective that’s closer to a beginner’s.

Izumi: It’s not a workshop for actors, and it’s definitely not just for teaching like Yuzo-san’s workshops…

Izumi: I think it should be about just trying to enjoy theater together, just like if you were reminiscing about your old selves. That’s the best we can do, I think.

Izumi: And it could be an opportunity to expand our fan base too…

Izumi: I think it’s only because of how everyone is now that we can try to make people more aware of theater.

Sakuya: Yeah… I get it. Up until now, we’ve just been doing our best in regards to ourselves, but now…

Itaru: Exactly. Maybe we’ll be able to have some fun together.

Chikage: We could be our own motivation.

Tsuzuru: Maybe I’ll even be able to get a hint for our next play.

Citron: I will take on any challenge!

Izumi: Alright, it’s decided!

Izumi: Once the date is decided on, can you take care of the flier design, Kazunari-kun?

Kazunari: You betcha!

Izumi: I’ll take care of the printing and distributing myself then.

Masumi: I’ll help.

Itaru: We’ll also need an announcement on our social media, right? Leave it to me.

Chikage: It’d be a good idea to also put something on the theater noticeboard, right?

Izumi: Alright, I’ll leave all the announcement-related stuff to you two, and then… Sakuya-kun and Citron-kun, can I leave outlining the workshop to you guys?

Sakuya: Roger that!

Citron: We will think of an eggciting workshop that will eggcite everyone~!

Manager: Ah, everyo~ne, it’s almost time~!

Kumon: We gotta turn on the TV!

[ ⇠ Previous Part ] • [ Next Part ⇢ ]

#a3!#a3! translation #sakuya sakuma #masumi usui #tsuzuru minagi #itaru chigasaki #citron #chikage utsuki #kumon hyodo

65 notes · View notes

poisonlove · 9 months

Text

Miss Ortega| j.o

jenna ortega x lector

Before entering the new school year, I never thought that changing my calculus teacher would change my life completely. Specifically, brown eyes and freckles left me with no choice but to surrender to them. Jenna Ortega, the new calculus teacher was going to come into the life of many students, who were only going to see her as one more teacher among many in the school. But unlike them, Professor Ortega was not only going to advise me for an academic contest, but also, to divert me from the path to what had once been my comfort zone.

“Did you hear that there will be a new Calculus teacher?" Enid said with a hint of happiness. A new school year began at Nevermore Academy, and all the students were excited about the news. Mr. Brown was an old grump who spent half of his time belittling boys and girls because they didn't understand his classes. Countless times I had argued with that idiot, suppressing the urge to gouge his eyes out every time he made Enid cry, calling her things like "stupid" and "I should have failed you." Despite that, he had never said anything offensive to me, perhaps because I was his only student who excelled in his class. Maybe it was that motivation that gave me the courage to confront him and defend my best friend. Half the time, I couldn't bear to argue with this old man, and as a result, I visited the principal's office quite often. I knew his office by heart. I closed my locker with a dull thud and smiled at Enid while holding my books. Ironically, we were going to have Calculus as our first class, and to make it even more dreadful, it was going to be two hours long.

Two endless hours.

I hope this new teacher is pleasant.

"Actually, yes, I'm glad that old grump is gone. I couldn't stand him anymore," I rolled my eyes with annoyance, starting to walk towards our destination. Enid walked faster, catching up to me, trying to catch her breath. "But you were his favorite!" Enid interlocked our arms, walking slower in the hallway. "Maybe, but that doesn't change the fact that he has been unbearable," I tilted my head, feeling somewhat uncertain about my words. Enid furrowed her brow, and her grip on my arm loosened as we entered our classroom. We took the last seats. "Hey T/N, have you seen Spencer? She's not responding to my messages," the blonde looked at her phone with a pout, typing something I couldn't identify. I shook my head slowly, turning on my phone. A notification made me smile at the coincidence. It was from Spencer.

S: Hey T/N, I'm staying home today. I'm feeling sick.

Me: Don't worry, see you later.

"Spencer isn't coming, she's sick," I turned off my phone, putting it in a corner of my desk. The blonde looked somewhat annoyed at me. "Well, she's MY friend, and she doesn't even take the time to let me know, but she does with you," she took out her pencil case and books, muttering words I couldn't catch. "What can I say? I'm amazing," I smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes in feigned annoyance. The bell rang, signaling the start of the school year, and all the students entered their respective classrooms. The murmurs and curiosity were palpable in this school; everyone wanted to find out who the new teacher was. I rested my head on my desk, scanning the hallway outside the window. The sound of heels approaching made me shiver, and unconsciously, I looked towards the classroom door. As the sound of heels drew nearer, my heart pounded rapidly against my ribcage from nervousness. "It seems like it's a female teacher," Enid whispered beside me, nervous and excited about the news. I looked at Enid with a trembling smile. The murmurs grew louder until they ceased completely. Confused, I looked towards the door, and my breath got stuck in my throat when I saw who was standing there. A woman, too young I must admit, looked curiously at her new class. She was wearing jeans, a simple white tank top, and black heels. Her right hand held a small backpack. A ghost of a smile played on her face as she amusedly observed the students' reactions.

She... she can't be a teacher...

She entered the classroom, walking slowly towards her desk. She sat on it, swinging her legs. She smiled as she looked at us, trying to be friendly. "Hello, everyone. I'm Jenna Ortega, your new Calculus teacher," she smiled at us with a hint of mischief in her eyes.

This has to be a joke.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #professor #jenna ortega x you #wednesday addams x you #jenna ortega #enid sinclair #nevermore

231 notes · View notes

herseraphwings · 10 months

Text

Herseraphwings🕊️ 🌙✨ Pick A Card Debut

🌙✨ Itching to flex my divination skills without diving into YouTube, here I am! Just call me Alise. I'm a solo witch with clarsentient and claircognizant vibes, spreading messages through tarot and oracle cards. I've got all sorts of readings for you, except anything medical-related. Let's embark on a soulful journey of expansion and alignment together. Hit me up for some mystical insights! 🔮✨

Pick An Image (1-4)

What Don't You See Coming?

*Disclamer: I offer tarot readings for entertainment and spiritual guidance purposes only. Please understand that the insights and interpretations provided are subjective and should not be substituted for professional advice or counseling. The responsibility to make decisions and take actions based on the readings lies solely with you. I am not liable for any consequences that may arise from your choices or actions following the reading. Remember, the future is not set in stone, and outcomes can be influenced by various factors and your own free will.*

Image #1:

Ace of Cups, King of Cups, 10 of Swords, The Hermit, Knight of Cups

What you don’t see coming is new chapter where you are aligned and fulfilled. I see that you have experienced the mental anguish that comes with negative beliefs & self talk- feeling as though the rug would be pulled from under your feet if you didn’t feel just a dash a pessimism that you disguised as realism. You could have struggled keeping your heart open and receptive to blessings and opportunities because your thoughts were hard to level and work through. When you identify with your personal thoughts and feelings too much, you truly see the world through that lens. However, I see that a period of introspection and spiritual adjustment has been setting you up or will set you up for a new chapter. You are truly letting go of hurt, ego, fear and anything else that clogs up your system with a heavy vibration. I see your light brightening as you weave harmony and resolution into your life. If you struggled with accepting love before, you won’t anymore. You’ll know that the core of your essence is love. If you felt like you had to play dirty games of the world for self preservation, you won’t anymore. You’ll know that everything you need comes from Source. Some of you may have literally gone over seas on a “Eat. Pray. Love” journey where no-one could find you, just so you could clear out the ego and align to your true self. Now you’ll get to receive opportunities and changes that will blow your mind.

Image #2

The Hermit, Ace of Swords, 9 of Pentacles, King of Cups, The Magician

You have been trying to manifest something BIG. It could be material abundance. You have been waiting and trying your hardest to manifest things the right way and the BEST and FASTEST way. I see that this is a manifestation that you believe will bring you complete satisfaction and even release you from a situation you’re tired of and ready to move away from. However, you may have been forced to be patient and struggling with the fear that it may not come to be. I see you trying to maintain clear thoughts and a high vibration, but your emotions are still so emotionally tied to the results. What you don’t see coming is that you aren’t going to receive the manifestation you want. The Creator is actually going to give you something even better, but you have to be willing to let go of your original idea. You may feel frustrated because I feel someone’s energy like “ I know I’m doing this right, why isn’t it happening?” And it’s just because the Creator has kind of high jacked things. It’s not a part of the sacred plan. It’s not for you. Something even better is coming, and you won’t see it coming because you’ll still be trying to figure out how to separate yourself from your attachment to the original outcome. You may be trying to manifest a lump sum to gain stability, but The Creator wants to give you a high paying job where you earn that lump sum overtime and then some, therefore creating lasting stability in your life. Do your best to surrender.

Image #3

8 of Cups, 5 of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, Page of Pentacles, 6 of Cups

If things have felt chaotic and conflicted recently for you, then what you don’t see coming is things finally regaining their balance in your life. Your faith has been challenged, and you may not see a clear path right now but try to consider the value of chaos. Every storm passes, and the tumultuous winds always blow away the parts of us that we discard to adapt so that we can reinvent ourselves. Some of you may have taken a step away from life because you knew that was the only thing you could control about your situation and it has served you well. Trust in the universe, because this period of chaos will end. I see the collective of this pile like a sturdy object on a shelf, immovable and stored away for winter. The Creator says that once you have recognized that some of these inconveniencing events are a direct result of unresolved past issues, you’ll be able to work through them quickly and bring balance back to your life. For some of you you’re dealing with money issues and might need to examine your past relationship with finances and lay the groundwork for better financial health. For other’s it could do with the way you treat yourself or trauma. It’s all lessons. You’ll move past them and come out even stronger.

Image #4

7 of Cups, 5 of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, 9 of Cups

You don’t see coming is that you are going to see the results of what you have been working hard towards! I see that you have started to doubt the goals you set for yourself regarding this manifestation of yours and it makes me feel for you, because I’m honestly in the same boat so I’m glad you came to this reading. You can trust that you had/have a good idea and that that idea is going to take you where you want to go. It looks like you have been thinking about giving up because you may not have reached certain goals when you wanted or some milestones may not have felt or appeared the way you imagined them to be. The Creator is showing me that you have been a little disillusioned about how fast your success was going to come, but that the level of success is going to be bigger than you thought. You just have to persevere and keep tending to those seeds you planted. Whatever you’re doing might position you as an authority. Congrats! JUST DON’T give up! The seeds you planted will bear fruit. Here is one thing to consider for the time being. You have received opportunities and surpassed certain milestones, but because of your unrealistic expectations at the time, you couldn’t see the bigger picture. You have already been successful! You are going to get the big wish you want, but can’t you see that these small steps are a part of that journey? Try to give yourself more credit.

#pick a card #pick a pile #tarot reading #divination #tarot cards #tarot #pick an image #PAC #divineguidance #witchblr

389 notes · View notes

allthingswhumpyandangsty · 4 months

Note

how do you feel about whump where a whumper removes one (or more) of a whumpee's senses? and I don't mean like sensory deprivation, I mean like permanently blinding or deafening them, cutting out their tongue, ect.

personally i enjoy whump with a happy ending where the whumpee can recover, but i definitely also enjoy this type where it is possible for the whumpee to partially recover and live a happy life, but their life and how they experience and interact with the world is also fundamentally changed as a result of their experiences, so they'll never be the person they once were.

anyway, hearing your thoughts on this would be cool!

tw: description of (fictional) violence

100/10 would recommend. I feel like you read my mind and pry into my deepest secret because this is actually one of my most favorite whump tropes that literally gives me whumperflies every time. it’s also the scenario I fantasize about every night as my cute little bedtime story.

listen, I’m okay with whump stories in which whumpee fully recovers (although it does bug me a little whenever a character just walks it off like nothing happened after they were injured), but if I have to choose, I’ll always go with the ones in which whumpee is permanently maimed. this doesn’t mean they have to be miserable for the rest of their life though. I just want them to have something permanent, whether it be scars or disabilities, to remind them of what happened, while they can still be happy after being rescued and nursed back to health (but with that permanent damage that was done to them).

whumpee having nerve damage which results in their constant twitching from years of being electrocuted by whumper? nice.

whumpee not being able to walk without canes because of what whumper did to them? lovely.

whumpee losing their hearing in one ear or being blind in one eye after the beating they took? delicious.

whumpee having to see that scar around their neck, which they got from the time whumper slit their throat, every time they look at the mirror? very good.

you know, just something that’ll remind whumpee and everybody of what happened to them. they’re free now, yes, but the constant reminder is there. love it.

I wish we saw more of this trope in whump media.

102 notes · View notes

lala3244 · 4 months

Note

osoxkwlalska your writing is AWSOMEEE

Can I request smth? Barbatos with mc, who has the same powers as him but is more unhinged and careless about it?

Hello anon! And thank you for your request!

I am sorry, it took so long for writing it! I hope you like it! I tried to do as you asked I hope I did okay…

—————————————————————————

Warnings: mention of death not proofread

—————————————————————————

CHANGING THE PAST

When you were in the human world and even after your arrival in the Devildom, you knew you didn’t have any powers and you didn’t understand, for the life of you, how you got them but when the first time they appeared, you got scared.

You were in the past, watching yourself getting into shenanigans with the Anti-Lucifer league but a few seconds ago, you were being scolded by Lucifer for a prank that had gone wrong and he was actually getting really angry. He was scaring you, being all menacing a dark aura surrounding him, his demon form was out and it was the first time you saw him that furious. You had closed your eyes, wishing you could change the outcome of that prank and you knew what was your mistake. You were conflicted. Should you stop the prank or improve it so it would work better but you thought about the angry demon and decided to abort the prank once your past self and the Anti- Lucifer league finished installing it. You ran quickly to the device and broke it. You sighed in relief and willed yourself to the present. You were still standing in front of Lucifer but this time, he was just casually talking to you about his new purchase. You remembered that was what you wanted to do. While he was talking, you felt something in the back of your brain and your memories started to meld together. Once he dismissed you, Satan and Belphegor came to see you. “What happened? What did go wrong?” You shrugged. “I guess it was not meant to work.” You left them, speechless.

After your new discovery, you tested your abilities, what you could and couldn’t do. You did it discreetly, changing tiny details during the day for the next few days until you felt confident enough to do something a bit bigger. A couple of weeks ago, you had a test that you knew you failed so you waited for the results and you were right! You had failed miserably. So you went home quickly after class and redid your test with the correct answers and went back in time to swipe your test with the new one. You were back to the new present and you shuddered at the idea of Lucifer giving you an hour-long lecture about how you couldn’t fail as an exchange student. You were glad you avoided it! Your memories melded together again. New memories colliding with your old ones making your head hurt. You cried out in pain and everyone watched you then you passed away.

You woke up in your bed. Lucifer and Barbatos were standing next to you, talking. Your head was still hurting and you were still in a daze. You couldn’t understand what they were saying. Lucifer finally looked at you and bent down a bit so he was at eyes level. “How are you feeling?” You nodded slightly your head. “My head still hurts a bit.” He stood up. “What happened?” You looked at the two demons who looked a bit intimidating from your point of view. “I don’t know! I just had a piercing headache and I blacked out.” Barbatos looked at you suspiciously. You haven’t told them about your powers, the same ones as Barbatos, as you now realised. You winced at the realisation. Maybe he knew? He approached your bed and put a gloved hand on your forehead. “We felt some sort of magic when you were asleep. I didn’t think you had any?” You shrugged and looked away as to not to reveal any information. “No, I’m a simple human. No magic, nothing noticeable about me.” Barbatos hummed but what you didn’t know was that the Butler felt that some changes had been mad in the Time and had been investigating the source. He hadn’t said anything to Lord Diavolo or Lucifer yet but he had his suspicions which you just revealed unknowingly. You hadn’t managed to damage the timeline yet so he decided that you were a responsible human usually and would use your powers accordingly. You fell asleep even though they were talking to you and left you alone.

You carried on testing your powers. You went back in time to eavesdrop on other people, to play some tricks on Lucifer or his brothers and one time even on Lord Diavolo. It was all very harmless but you did everything to steer clear of Barbatos. The stoic Butler had a way to make you feel embarrassed and scared. You knew he knew and you waited for him everyday, after a trip to the past, to come and kidnap you to his secret dungeon that everyone knew he had but he never did such a thing, which was nerve wrecking at the same time.

Creating new memories while you still had your old ones started to change something in your brain. You were slowly getting reckless during your travels in the past. You would confuse the new and old memories while talking to your friends and sometimes act like you never changed anything. You didn’t notice but Barbatos who was watching you did. He sometimes dropped by the House of Lamentations and would ask the brothers how you had been but he was always disappointed that they didn’t see any changes. You were still normal most of the time but your time travel would always take something from you and Barbatos knew that. That’s why he never did it himself unless he was asked to. He decided to talk to you before you would make a horrible mistake.

You were asleep when you heard an unusual ringtone. You followed the sound half-asleep and realised it was your phone from the human world. You answered as it was someone from your family. They said that your parents were in an accident and they both died. You dropped onto your knees. Maybe if you didn’t spent your energy going back, you could have tried to see if you could see the future. You thanked your family member and hung up. You stayed on your knees, the news hadn’t really kicked in yet. Maybe, maybe you could go back and prevent that accident. You stood up and left the HoL. It was still the middle of the night but you didn’t care, you were still in your pjs but you didn’t care, you were an easy prey for the demons roaming about but your mind was numb and you ran to the Castle of Lord Diavolo. You were about to knock when the door opened. Barbatos greeted you. “Please come in.” You frowned but entered inside once he stood on the side to let you in. “Lord Diavolo is waiting for you in his office.” You nodded and followed the Butler.

You were sitting in front of the Young Prince, a cup of tea in your hands. Lord Diavolo looked at you with a small smile. “What brings you here in the middle of the night?” You looked up at him, suddenly realising why you were there. “I need to go to the human realm. I just learned my parents are dead.” He nodded and looked at Barbatos. “Sure, take the time you need. Do you need to go back to the House before going?” You shook your head. “No, I’m fine.” He shrugged and Barbatos left and came back with a few clothes. “You can’t go back home with your pyjamas.” You chuckled at the silliness of the situation. “No, I can’t, can I?” You put some clothes on top of your pyjamas and Barbatos opened a portal but before you passed it through, he grabbed your wrist. “We need to talk when you come back.” You nodded and jumped through the portal. You were in an empty alleyway near your parent’s building. You looked around to make sure no one was watching and went back to the past. You arrived at your parent’s the day before their accident and knocked on their door. You spent the day with them and as you didn’t know what happened exactly, you just did everything in your power to prevent for them to take the car.

With the death of your parents averted, you went back to the Devildom and went back to your life. The death of your parents from the old timeline had made a mark on your mind. You didn’t have time to grieve them that you saved them and your brain couldn’t process all these informations at once. It messed up your thought’s process and now you were changing the past more and more. You trained yourself to see the future but with so many futures to look into, your brain would freeze up and you would end up with a massive nosebleed so you eventually stopped doing it. You were obsessed with improving your past. You had an argument with someone, either you went back to the why or you went back to the argument itself and answered differently. It was like a drug and you were addicted.

Barbatos had had that talk with you but you didn’t change or stop, you were more and more reckless and now you didn’t care about the consequences as long as your immediate present was better. No guilt as you changed your mistakes, no grieving as you would prevent the deaths of your loved ones, no anger as you would resolve whatever problem would make you angry. It was liberating to change the past as you pleased and nothing bad had happened and the more you did it, the less you felt it actually changed anything in the long run. The thing was even if it was only the people surrounding you that was affected by your time travels it had affected all the Devildom. Your powers were almost as strong as Barbatos and the demon knew he had to do something before some catastrophic events happened. Barbatos, as a demon, could look into the future without being affected and the more futures he looked into the more he got worried. In all of them, something bad happened unless he did something to you. A thing he never would want to do but he had to if he couldn’t find an alternative. He finally talked to Lord Diavolo about his worries and the Lord gave him permission to go about and find a solution without physically hurting you. Barbatos went from libraries to libraries, met with witches and sorcerers alike, went back in time a couple of times, and finally he found the solution. He was going to build a cell and a helmet with a metal that suppressed any magic. It pained him but it was a necessary step to avoid an inevitable end of the world.

The next time you travelled back, he would be ready. He used some of his powers to track you wherever and whenever you were. Nobody but he knew where you went so he grabbed you and put a hand on your mouth. He opened a portal and jumped through it while his grip around you tightened so you wouldn’t fight. He didn’t need magic to subdue you, you were just a human after all. The portal brought you right in front of the cell. He threw you inside and jumped on you to put the helmet on.

You tried to use your powers and the more you tried the more your head ached. Finally you passed out. Barbatos took you in his arms and gently lied you down on the bed he installed there for you. His chest tightened. He didn’t want to do that but you were leading them to grave danger. He put a hand on your cheek and rubbed some circle with his thumb. You looked normal, sweet and lovely while asleep. He had noticed that your eyes had become deranged since you came back from the human world. He knew he shouldn’t have let you go there but your parents had just died and now they were alive again. He knew going back to the past and changing things could affect the mind of a lower demon, so for a human it must have been even more dangerous. He scolded himself for not thinking about this and stopping that sooner, but you were, well used to be, so sensible and rational. He thought you might have been able to stop when everything went out of control.

You opened your eyes. You didn’t recognise your surroundings. It was dark, a small source of light coming from a small lamp on a desk. You rubbed your eyes and felt something on your forehead. You touched it and realised it was some sort of helmet. You wondered what happened, then memories came rushing back. It finally happened. Barbatos kidnapped you and imprisoned you in his dungeon.

—————————————————————————

THE END

Thank you for reading!

MASTERLIST

#obey me #obey me barbatos #obey me fandom #obey me fanfic #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me belphie #swd obey me #obeyme #barbatos x reader #barbatos x mc #om! barbatos

88 notes · View notes

lovelyyandereaddictionpoint · 2 years

Text

Gushing About Their Animal Form | Yandere Twisted Wonderland

Azul Ashengrotto

When it's reveaed that he’s actually an octo-mer he thinks you're making fun of him when he sees that fond look in your eyes

But when he meets your enamored gaze more than once since his overblot he gets curious

Sending Jade on the task he expects to get clear results

But alas he does not

Even with his sly attitude and trying to use his unique magic Grimm or Ace&Deuce always seemed to get in the way

Hardly ever catching you alone the more reliable Leech twin has failed

Now onto the other one

Of course Floyd is jumping at the chance to play with ‘his Shrimpy~’

Unlike Jade Floyd can immediately scare off your entourage or at least out run them before asking Azul’s question

You play dumb for a little while hoping it will just throw him off

But he gets to tickling and you just can’t keep it in anymore

“I-haha- like-no haha- love–octopuses! Now p-please s-stop y-you’re gonna make me pee!”

He’s blushing so hard the revelation

‘You like octopuses?’

So life will continue as usual until he finally has the guts to ask you fighting his imagination as he awaits your confirmation

Now if your an animal lover(like me) you’re gushing about how much you love their intelligence

Praising their innate immune system, ability to camouflage, and just absolute innovation when it comes to surviving

While he’s listening to you rant with that sparkle in your eye he decides that he quite loves this side of you

He loves all sides of you but your own passion and interest in him simply by his existence alone is something he’d rather not live without

It doesn’t really matter if you were actually talking about the animal only

So if you behave keep visiting him often he’ll eventually promise to let you see his form

And while he’ll be totally embarrassed that you follow up he’ll hold true and invite you to a second location

You agree and from there it's easy pickings

He can keep you somewhere where only he can get to you

Somewhere where you both can admire eachothers extremities without bringing attention

“I’m glad you don’t mind my tentacles. Now, following through with our deal, would you please stop wiggling away! Isn’t it fair? I let you touch me so intimately.”

If your not an animal lover and you quite literally like the taste get ready for this bottom yandere

You have so much control over him once he finds out he practically embarasses himself to death around you

Don’t say you like eating anyother seafood

otherwise I can see him targeting anyone with any relation

“There’s only room for one worthy to be their prey and it's not worth anything for it to be you!”

Leona Kingscholar

You gravitate to him when your in groups anyways

He figures it's because he’s considered the strongest

And he takes pride in that

But this understanding changes when you start reaching for his ears or tail

He probably won’t actually respond just easily grab your reaching hand or even hold your head far enough that your arms don’t reach

He’ll want to know but he won’t be the one to ask you

But Ruggie will

Then starts your passionate rant about lions and their symbolism in society and all the ways they prevail in the Savannah

He’s…really thrilled though

This means his chances with you are already increased and that gives him the advantage

He begins baiting you

purposefully directing your attention to him with a flick of his tail

Who said male lions can’t hunt!

He sets his snare by pretending to sleep wistfully in some secluded area

So when you inevitably want to sneak a pet he snatches you and proposes an irresistable offer

“If you want to feel me so bad then at least be useful to me when I want to sleep.”

Being a cuddle pet in exchange for the closest you’ll get to a lion

Good enough!

He dangles it over your head

As a way for you to follow his will

“I don’t want you talking with that scuzzball.”

“But-”

“Five less minutes.”

“What?! I-”

“Ten less minutes–”

“Okay! Okay! No more talking with him.”

“Good. Zzzzzzzz.”

Grim~

Its less of a counterpart than his whole darn existence

And you probably will never outwardly express how much you love cats

But he knows you’re not clueless about it

Making makeshift catpaths and cat trees

Playing with him for a certain amount of time everyday

Or how you don’t comment when he feels the need to speed around suddenly before going to bed

Or how you’ll only pet him when he offers

He just has that feeling

But since you’ve never said anything outright he doesn’t have any grounds to correct you

That doesn’t mean he's happy when you get so excited to hear that Chen’ya floating around

“The Great Grim does require his nails to be trimmed...unless I could do it on his skin–”

“Grim!”

“A joke. The Great Grim is not only the greatest magician but has the comedy of uh…funny human!”

#yandere twisted wonderland #yandere x reader #yandere x you #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #grim #yandere azul ashengrotto #yandere azul x reader #azul ashengrotto #yandere leona x reader #yandere leona kingscholar #yandere grim

1K notes · View notes

callsign-relic · 7 months

Text

So I promised y’all some writing today and sadly I could not get to any requests due to taking care of some other business— BUT!

A long time ago… back when I had an entire separate sideblog dedicated to my obsession for these big robot fucks… I had a request that I had to decline due to the fact that I hadn’t watched TFA yet.

Today, I was inspired to change that.

I no longer have the actual request itself, but to the best of my memory, the request was by an anon asking for TFA Megs with no other specifications other than fearplay.

Anon, if you’re out there, I’m finally here to deliver.

Hopefully you all enjoy it anyway, as it’s my first TFA piece :)

Warnings: Suggestive, GN!Human!Reader, fearplay, could be read as yandere if you wanted

“Where are you, little scraplet?”

Two office buildings are shoved away, cast aside like dominoes as they crash to the ground into unrecognizable heaps of brick and concrete.

“I enjoy your little earth games as much as any other mech, but my patience wears thin.”

You only cower further away into the little corner of an alleyway you found some semblance of solace in. Your heart was pounding in your ears— the only sound loud enough to hear over the sounds of falling buildings and pedestrian chaos. Heavy footfalls echo in the distance, boring holes into the earth with every step.

Every instinct within you was telling you to run. To find somewhere safe, populated— somewhere where he could lose you within the crowd.

But no matter how much you willed your body to move, you stayed curled up in your little ball in the dingy corner of the alley. Some twisted part of you thinks maybe you wanted him to find you. Despite your fears, you couldn’t argue against the fact that there was something about him that—

Another crash distracts you from your thoughts, and your head zips upwards towards the source.

“I know you’re here somewhere. Why don’t you come out and make this easier for the both of us?”

Megatron, standing high above you.

His servo grips the roof of another building, using it to rest his weight upon it as he surveys the area— and he was no doubt doing the same to another building on the side of him you couldn’t see. The concrete cracks and shatters beneath the pressure, giving way to the imprints of his hands much like the malleability of human flesh. By some miracle, the red glow of his optics had yet to cast themselves over you, even as he kneeled down to look to the street opposite to you.

This was your chance. You had to run, now. Sneak out behind him, find some kind of safety—

But then, you feel a tickle in your lungs.

The debris from the city’s destruction had kicked up immeasurable amounts of dust. There were little pieces of buildings and highways scattered all across the area. It was only natural that some of that dust had found its way into your dark little alley— and as a result, into your lungs.

You couldn’t cough. No, you couldn’t, or else that would destroy any fraction of cover that you had now, and your life would be up to the whims of the gigantic robot that had for some reason fixated itself on you—

But, your own body betrays you.

You hack out a cough only once before your hand lunges to your mouth. You curl further down, further into yourself, all while you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the grey bot before you.

Megatron’s helm turns. When he locks eyes with you, a smile spreads across his faceplate.

“Ah. There you are, little one.”

Black encompasses your vision as the mech reaches a servo larger than your own body out towards you. You throw stealth to the wind in exchange for survival— adrenaline pumps through you as you scramble to your feet and futilely throw yourself up against the alley wall. The warlord’s digits unfurl, then close around you all at once, and you’re truly surrounded by total and utter darkness.

Megatron rumbles a low, sultry laugh as he raises your tiny form high into the air. He loosens his fingers just so you can pop your head out from the curl on his thumb, but otherwise, he seems to have no intent of letting you go. As the mech comes to his feet, he pushes his weight down on the building he was gripping for support— causing it to crumple into billions of little pieces onto the street. If you hadn’t known it was a building beforehand, there was no telling what that structure was once Megatron was done with it.

And yet, it was as if the constant destruction he was causing was the furthest thing from his mind. He scoffs to himself, “Accursed earthen architecture,” as he wipes his dust-ridden hand off onto his chassis. Though the mech’s face took up almost all of your vision, from the corners of your eyes, you could see the tops of what was left of the undestroyed buildings. Rooftops that you had only dreamt of gazing at the city skyline from.

A free thumb, still a little dusty from the thoughtless destruction Megatron had caused, approaches your turned face and pushes it back to face him by your cheek.

“You were quite tricky to find, my dear. But as fun as our little game was, I’ve grown bored of these childish ways to spend our time.”

The pressure of his hand relieves itself from around you, and you fall to your back upon the expanse of his palm. Megatron can’t help but allow another laugh to rumble its way up from his chest and through his voicebox as his other hand approaches you once more.

“I was thinking we could finally do something more… mature.”

Before you could ask yourself the question of what he was doing, an index finger suddenly spreads your legs apart— the blunt top half of the tip of his digit rubbing against your sex.

The sudden gesture makes you yelp as you kick Megatron’s digits away. The mech’s low chuckle bursts into a raucous laugh, “Fine, fine. Too early, I see. It’s not a problem.” Then, faster than you even thought a mech his size could move, you’re pulled up towards his face once more. You can feel the heat of his breath on you as he speaks, or merely even breathes.

“We just need a little more time together. After all, all good things come to those who wait.”

#relic writes #transformers #transformers x reader #reader insert #transformers animated #Transformers animated x reader #tfa #tfa x reader #Megatron #megatron x reader #tfa megatron #tfa megatron x reader #transformers g/t #g/t fearplay

144 notes · View notes

auraworkshop · 2 months

Note

Hello Aura!! Aaaa, okay. I’m not here to write a success story yet! But to ask if I’m as close as I felt just a couple of moments ago.

So, I found about the void, the I AM, the golden state, aaaall of it a couple of months ago and I went through probably all the stages of someone trying to get the life of their dreams.

Overconsumption, doubt, and spurts of obsessive motivation that honestly took me nowhere. I have ADHD so the methods where I had to close my eyes, stay still and affirm never did a thing for me. I’d do them, six minutes at most would pass and I’d feel like a failure.

Procrastination got a hold of me and I’d feel more motivated to script and write what I wanted than actually go and try to get it because part of me knew I’d last very little. I tried yoga nidra, hypnosis and subliminals with very little progress and most likely because of my own laziness because in my mind if I was so powerful then why did I have to try so much. I have to mention I’ve used subliminals in the past and I’ve gotten little to no results so at night I’d cry and ask what is wrong with me. Since I know they work and the law is real.

Yesterday I came across a couple of posts with ADHD friendly methods where they say to let your mind wander and to let it do its thing. Plus others saying to mentally listen to music? But that’s not what I did.

I made a playlist of songs that wouldn’t bore me and I wouldn’t feel inclined to change the song. in total an hour or so. I knew if stayed still enough my body would be numb, I wouldn’t feel my fingers, my toes, etc.

If I concentrated in the songs instead of how tedious it is to stay still then it’d be easier for me.

I didn’t know if this was the floaty feeling everyone talks about until I decided to look into the black of my eyelids and try to see beyond that while affirming. my void is full of stars so I started to affirm they were slowly appearing and suddenly I did feel like my body was lifting up from my bed and numbness extended through my whole body including my face. Pins and needles like when your arm falls asleep, some of my muscles tensed and my heart started pounding for a second, I kept affirming but the song playing plus the excitement of feeling something overwhelmed me and I started to go back.

I paused the playlist and went to listen to epsilon waves and affirm but the idea of waiting for everything to happen again overwhelmed and frustrated me.

Was I close? How should I go forward? I sorta need advice directed at my situation because I can’t relate to most void posts.

Thank you for your time!!

I can relate to this so much. Trying various methods for so long with no result yet people were out there telling me that I must keep persisting. But I just didn't understand how to persist through the frustration of getting no result. It was only when I let go of this desire and I stopped caring about anything that anything and everything happened in the best way. I cannot even think of a single method that I followed to enter the void. I just stopped caring and let my mind wander.

You've already experienced a shift within your state of consciousness if you have reached a stage where you were listening to music and letting your body go numb. You need to let yourself flow without overthinking or overloading yourself. That is why it is important to start small because the feeling of going to the void state will come in fragments at first. That's just how the state of consciousness manifests itself. Let your mind wander and flow. Do not limit yourself with doubts of why it is taking so much time or why it's not working because that is exactly what it is, trust the process.

Everything you just experienced is a confirmation that you are exactly where you need to be. It is not a coincidence that you suddenly felt pins and needles throughout your whole body. This means exactly that your consciousness has started expanding, you've gone beyond your ordinary state.

You do not have to wait for it to happen again because you are already experiencing it. What you should be doing right now is continue with the process but you are going to be more patient. Be mindful and observe that which has changed in your perception, be aware of the subtle shifts ! 🤍

#void #void state

76 notes · View notes

transmutationisms · 4 months

Note

is it unfair for me to hold anger at individuals, or criticize individuals, if covid minimization is not the result of individualized choices but mass messaging and systems at work? im not really sure what to say to leftists who ive spoonfed information who have still decided to “move on” from it, including in their activism. on one hand i understand how they got here, on the other it feels like theyre enacting violence, in the same vein as like misgendering or supporting “blue lives matter” but with the added bonus of them maybe also harming someone directly by refusal to do infection control. i really need to shift my perspective away from a heavily trauma-informed one and start living in the real world where i cant expect anyone to advocate for me, and have to find more systems-based ways to advocate for myself, and releasing some of that anger might need to be a part of moving on from that pov, but a lot of that trauma *is* individualized and resulted from the way people have responded to me, which varies from lukewarm apathy to actively telling me my life isnt worth anything to them. at the same time, it’s impossible for me to feel like i’m not the one in the wrong, when it’s very few people left who care about any of this. sorry for dumping this on *you*, im aware you’re some guy online, but the only ppl i see who still talk about covid are ppl in the same situation as me and are too close to it to assess, or think about it purely on an individual level

i don't think there's anything wrong, bad, or unfair about feeling this type of anger or betrayal. i just also think that this is one of those situations where a (completely understandable) emotional reaction does not form the basis of an effective political platform. both of these things can be true at once; your ethical considerations when navigating interpersonal relationships are not the same as the ethical considerations for someone who wants to style themselves a public health communicator. in an epidemiological sense, a person who reluctantly masks because orgs and public spaces have mask mandates is accomplishing the same thing, materially, as a person who happily masks because they care about their disabled comrades. in that sense there's no need for a public health strategy to focus on 'changing minds' and doing so often just makes people dig in their heels more. but, on a personal level, of course it matters to you whether someone actually cares for you and protects you voluntarily! figuring out how to interact with people in your own life is just not the same as figuring out the most effective mass communication and public policy strategies; what irritates me about many of the twitter-sphere covid communicators is the elision between these two things. having said that, if i can just soapbox for a second:

i try to give these people the benefit of the doubt; i do think many of them mean well and think they are doing what's right. however, the strategy that many of them have coalesced around seems to go something like this: assume that others are not covid-cautious because they are insufficiently frightened; assume this is a failure of individual intelligence-slash-awareness; using the same datasets as the applicable public health agency, interpret all data with any number of assumptions, predictions, and modelling heuristics built in; generate very terrifying infographic, post it, and wring hands when doing so doesn't change anyone's behaviour or state policy.

even in the best of cases i simply think this is ineffective; i would say public attitudes about the seriousness of covid are much more a result of state and public health inaction, ambivalence, and denialism than they are a cause. additionally, interpreting data and making predictions based on them is woolly, and a lack of transparency about their methodology, plus the overconfident desire to present themselves as authorities on the internet, means that this strategy can and does end up producing its own distortions. see, for example, recent 'med twitter' claims that "covid is airborne aids", an attempt to scare people into taking it more seriously that relies on poor and overconfident interpretations of current immunological knowledge; that ends up distorting what we do actually know about covid and the immune system (which is already fucking scary! no lies needed!); and which, as far as i can tell, actually started picking up steam in early 2020 as a right-wing conspiracy theory centred around the claims of dr (not an md) leonard g. horowitz, who argues that covid is a laboratory-engineered virus and uses it in his efforts to sell "resonating silver hydrosol" supplements to you (and your pets!) as "an effective alternative to risky vaccinations and deadly antibiotics".

getting into bed with these people is patently dangerous for obvious reasons. i really do not blame people who are trying to find reliable covid information, and are rightfully wary of state and official sources that have been downplaying this virus for its entire existence, for getting sucked in by twitter doctors when those people are often the only ones who seem to be both posting statistics and taking the virus seriously. however, what i have observed leads me to believe that, firstly, many of these people are motivated by a desire for renown and fame as much as by altruism (welcome to social media). secondly, virtually all of them are fundamentally very liberal in their politics, and this shows in the way they interpret the current state of affairs as a result of individual actions and psychological failures, rather than capitalist policy. this is absurd and leads to absolutely pointless (if not often counterproductive) narrativisation of political action as some kind of magical field where everybody just needs to change their minds and believe in the correct things really hard and then things will change: it's the liberal democratic fantasy that aggregated attitudes create policy out of thin air, no organisation or class analysis or principled communism necessary.

thirdly, a multitude of factors (incl. the paywalling and gatekeeping of knowledge) means that, although state and official interpretations of their datasets are often misleading or outright dishonest because they want to minimise risk, too often the self-styled 'covid communicators' online are not a solution to this and are prone to their own fallacious assumptions, conspiratorial thinking (see again: understanding politics as the product of many individuals believing something really hard, with no analysis of structural factors), poor data analysis, issues with comprehensive data collection in the first place (same as state sources. because they are usually using the same datasets), and a particular rhetorical emphasis on "listening to the science" that often manifests practically as a failure to actually engage with scientific methodology or to questionor improve it where it is lacking, incomplete, or bias-reproducing.

so. these are my issues with the state of covid communication; to me the question of how to navigate interpersonal relationships with people who don't value your life enough to protect it is just very different and the emotional engagement there is also quite different.

#covid

87 notes · View notes