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#I think he farted but I'm not positive
vampiressmoney · 2 years
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The way I can barely eat my ice cream cus I'm watching James in a hoodie, looking extra tall, reference the end of an ex-gf relationship, then ask Lars when "What's her name" ended by drawing the letter K on his hand for a hint and Lars says "June '92."
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pomefioredove · 5 months
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now I'm actually invested in this idea. maybe I'll write a full length fic someday idk... for now I have short hcs
parts 1 | 2 | 3 | kalim | bad ending
summary: crowley decides to "give away" yuu to the highest "donation" for financial reasons type of post: headcanons characters: all nrc students additional info: can be read as platonic or romantic, except malleus is pretty romantic, second person pov, yuu is gender neutral, maybe a little ooc I wrote this as soon as I got up
crowley has had his fair share of "what the fuck" moments from you but this was really taking the cake
he acts so... casual about it?
swaggers into ramshackle one morning and says times are tough and your personal expenses are straining the budget so he's decided to "put you in someone else's care"
"The screening process will be vigorous to make sure you end up in good hands!" like you're a cat or something "Your expenses will be covered and you'll have somewhere to go during break!"
okay great. pretty obvious you have no say in this, so you don't even argue. what's the worst that could happen?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ace, Deuce, Jack, and Epel find you the next day to say they're pooling their money to buy you
"To what?"
Epel shrugs. "Oh, well Crowley said we need to offer a donation to prove we're capable of supporting you..."
(you think that if not for the laws of this land you would have slaughtered that old fart)
Jack goes on a really long tirade about how shady and underhanded this is, making sure to reaffirm that he believes you should be free to make your own choices
"So you'll let me go once you get me?"
"Uhhh..."
Ace thinks once they buy you you'll have no choice but to do all of his homework for him
Deuce says that's not really how it works- and even if he tried, Riddle would kill him
(they've already gone over this twice before finding you)
Epel happily volunteers to take you home with him over breaks, probably the only positive in this mess
even if he thinks the whole thing is kind of funny
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
incapable of keeping his mouth shut, Ace accidentally spills the plan to Riddle, who is understandably aghast
you can't just give away a person under your care like a toy!
of all the irresponsible things...
of course, he'll have to put up his offer, too
purely for your sake! with a nicer room and a brand new copy of the dorm rules, maybe you'll stop getting yourself into trouble
he's got some family money (doctors, naturally) and considers this a worthwhile purchase, for his sanity and yours
of course, Trey and Cater overhear and may or may not be pooling their own cash for a chance, too
going behind Riddle's back on this is a risky venture, but hey, someone's gotta be on your side, here, right?
I mean, between a bunch of sixteen year old boys, the housewarden, and them, who would you choose?
actually don't answer that
...not that it's much of a secret, anyway. Cater's already got their gofundme equivalent link in bio
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Leona initially plans to have you become a live-in lackey like Ruggie
but then he really starts thinking- and, hey, the possibilities are endless, right?
for one, you'd make a really good pillow
he might have to kick Grim out for your full attention, but you could learn to live with that
and malleus would hate it
...that's reason enough for him
plus, he's got money to burn, so why not?
either way, he sets his bid at a reasonable (maybe too confident) price and sits back to watch the chaos unfold as everyone scrambles for a piece of the pie
news travels fast around school, after all
then Ruggie finds out that you could dethrone him as Leona's #2 and is understandably a little annoyed
that's his cushy post-grad job gig, thank you! he's worked hard for that!
besides, why should Leona get to hoard you? the guy can barely take care of himself!
so, Ruggie ends up outsourcing to a few dozen classmates for the necessary funds at a steep I-owe-you price
he's gonna be eating nothing but dandelions for a while...
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
now, Azul is annoyed
once the news goes school-wide, it's all anyone can talk about
talk about good marketing...
why didn't he think of such a brilliant scam? he could have negotiated with Crowley to have a café brand deal tie-in!
of course, he's already set his bid, with Jade and Floyd offering to pitch in as necessary
it's a risky investment, sure, but a worthwhile one
Azul tells everyone that with the prefect's "obvious" popularity, having them at the café a few nights a week would drive sales through the roof
though that's really just what he says to shirk suspicion
a likely excuse coming from him, though, really, it would just be nice having you around
and if not for his own affections, Floyd's incessant begging and Jade's subtly manipulative comments about "how nice" it would be having a new face around would be enough for him to cave eventually
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
"Kalim, no," is the first thing that Jamil says
"I strongly advise against this. It's another one of Crowley's silly scams and you could end up a target bec- are you even listening?"
hint: he is not
the second Kalim found out that he could get to take in his favorite magicless student like one of his treasures, he was all over it
(AKA infinite sleepovers)
and for what? a little optional donation to prove he's got the funds? he's got cash to spare!
he's already got your new room in Scarabia set up before he even puts his bid in
right next to his of course :)
and despite what Jamil insists, he himself might be working behind the curtain just a little to ensure he's the one who ends up with you
after all, why should Kalim get everything? this might be a valuable learning opportunity for him
You don't always get what you want
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
as much as Epel tries to keep the rest of his dorm from finding out, it's inevitable
he's actually a little surprised that the news didn't get to Vil sooner
with Rook around campus, surely he must have said something...
when Vil does find out, though, he just sighs
oh, of course. what next, will everyone meet each other in the arena and fight to the death over the prefect?
of all the silly, immature things...
oh? what's that? he's bidding anyway? of course he is, silly potato. he can't have some unwashed miscreant making you sleep on polyester bedding
(really, he's the only person on campus worthy of your time)
Rook has also been mysteriously absent from the dorm lately, though his initials on a poem and a strangely large sum of money end up in the donation pile
but really, that could be anyone... Rook would never dare betray Vil again, right?
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
Ortho finds out directly from the other first years and sends Idia the details immediately
with a little note of encouragement, of course: "could be excellent for improving your social skills!"
Idia understandably freaks out
"WTF!!!! nooo way! this is a person, not a chatbot we're talking about here! I can barely keep virtual pets alive!!!!"
(liar)
(...but this is still different)
the conversation ends there, but semi-anonymous bid from someone named "gloomurai" gets cashapp'd directly to crowley
*ੈ✩‧₊˚
everyone in the room immediately turns to Malleus
"For the record, I think it's wrong to be bargaining over a human being," Silver says first. "But if anyone could handle it with grace, it's you."
Lilia laughs. "Oh, you're just saying that because you like the prefect so much!"
"Father, you're the one who likes the prefect so much,"
"Oh, right! carry on then. After all, I'm sure we could share,"
Sebek is the only one relatively against the idea, though Lilia luckily manages to get him to lower his voice after his third speech about how you aren't good enough for his liege
Malleus is rather quiet through the whole evening, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with any of the points made
he disappears for a short while, and when he comes back he seems a little more confident
though, of course, he goes to you first
seeing him at Ramshackle in the middle of the night is a familiar and welcoming sight after all of the chaos of your week
and he's in a great mood!
"Child of man! I've come with news," he says. "I have heard of your predicament and have come up with a solution!"
you immediately sulk. "Oh, no. You know I think this whole thing is terrible, right?"
"Yes, Silver mentioned you might not like the idea of being bought and sold like a trinket. But worry not, I do not plan on paying for you in money,"
you pause, at a loss for words, and then tentatively continue. "You're not...?"
"Of course not. What a primitive idea, I was baffled to hear it myself. My proposal will be more traditional: a modest sum of treasure, and a generous amount of livestock and the finest crop Briar Valley can offer,"
certainly he's not this naive, you think
"You really think Crowley is going to accept that over money? I'm pretty sure Kalim just bid away an entire country's worth,"
he laughs. "You speak as if this is some kind of business deal! I'm quite confident that my dowry will be best,"
huh. that was a strange way of putting it
but then again, you still didn't really understand how things work here, so you go along with it
and you allow yourself to relax. he seems confident in his offer, and he doesn't even see you as some kind of prize to win!
"Oh, well, alright. Thanks! I'm glad you're on it,"
he smiles. "Rest assured, child of man, you're in good hands. My dowry will far outshine the others, and the wedding will be even better,"
"I was honestly getting a little nervous for a momen- wait- wedding!?"
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kasagia · 9 months
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The grudge (Losing your memory pt. 2)
Pairing: Young! Coriolanus Snow x fem!Capitol! reader Summary: You promised you would destroy him. Be his ending at all costs. The fight between you begins. Both about his position as President of Panem and about the feelings you still have for him. But the question still haunts you... is your Coryo really gone? The second part of Losing your memory, but can be read as a separate oneshot. Although I recommend reading it. Inspired by: "The grudge" by Olivia Rodrigo and @uhnanix idea/request Taglist: @uhnanix @serving-targaryen-realness @diannana @aoi-targaryen @omgsuperstarg @il0vebeingdelulu @chelseyyouraverageluigi @un06 @tallulah477 @snowspubes @hueanhdang @snowspubes @phsychobanana @blythlover ~•♤♤♤•~ Coriolanus Snow's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~
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"Wait... what do you want to do?" Clemensia Dovecote asks in shock when you invite her over a few days after your birthday party.
"You heard me." you reply calmly, playing with the Sejanus bracelet on your wrist.
"This is madness, Y/N. You can't… you…"
"You think so?" you ask, amused by her scandalized reaction. "The Capitol has seen stranger, worser things." you say, getting up from the couch and walking over to the mini bar to pour you both a drink. "Besides, you have to admit, it's an… exciting idea. People are going to love it… well, maybe not the old farts and those idiots from our year, but... I'm very optimisitc about it."
"Yes, but… my God, HE is going to hate you for this." she says with a growing smirk on her face. You laugh heartily and hand her the glass.
"This is the least of my worries. The question is... will you stand by my side?"
"Y/N? You've been quieter lately, has something happened?" your mother snapped you out of your thoughts as the three of you ate dinner together.
You replayed your conversation with Clemansia from a few months ago, wondering how to break the news to your parents… actually, now was as good a time as any. You doubt there would ever be a good time to convey something like this.
"I… actually yes." you say, clearing your throat and getting ready to drop the bomb on them.
"Is that Coriolanus? Did he propose to you?" you choke on the drink you were drinking and look at your mother with a dose of disbelief and disgust.
Apparently, the ridiculous amount of roses, chocolates, dresses, and even fucking jewellery that Coriolanus was sending you didn't go unnoticed by your mother. After the first month, you thought he would take the hint, but since he tirelessly sent you gifts, you stopped returning them to him damaged (e.g., cut roses and burned clothes) and decided to give them to the servants and maids and simply ignore that poisoned snake.
"What?! No, of course not. Besides, I wouldn't say yes like... never." you shudder at the thought, at which your father laughs, joining in on the conversation between the two of you for the first time.
"Then what is it?"
Their expectant glances intimidate you for a moment, and for the first time, you wonder if the decision you've made is right. But there was no turning back. You won't let Coriolanus win so easily (or, rather, at all).
"I… well. I've submitted my candidature for president of Panem."
The silence in the room after your statement is... extremely disturbing. They both freeze; your father holds the fork halfway to his mouth, staring at you in amazement, and your mother looks like they've frozen her. For a moment, you wonder if you've given them a heart attack. But your concern for them quickly fades when their loud collective screams echo throughout the dining room.
"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"
"So I guess I won't have your votes then?" you ask jokingly, going back to cutting your steak.
"Are you crazy? A female president?!" your mother asks indignantly, and you roll your eyes. Honestly, you were a little surprised at her shock. As if you would ever play her role as an obedient wife.
"You may not know it, mother, but more and more female politicians appear in the government. Right, dad?" you ask him, using your only-daughter charm on him, mentally thanking everyone above that this man never treats you with disrespect and hostility like other fathers would if their only child was a girl.
Maybe you kind of enjoyed being his precious diamond after all. Even if that made you desired by all of Capitol's young men, who were more than willing to take your hand in marriage and dowry.
"That doesn't mean you have to be one of them! Y/F/N, tell her something!" you look pleadingly at your father, and after his long silence, you already know that you are melting his heart to your will. All it took was a little, gentle pressure.
"What are your real chances of winning?" he asks with a sigh as your mother looks at him with disbelief.
"Y/F/N..."
"I think my only serious opponent is Coriolanus. People are fed up with these fearful politicians who have been arguing with each other for a long time. Me and Snow are a fresh take on Capitol affairs. We are young and ambitious. People may choose us out of curiosity alone. And among the female electorate, I think I have a much better chance than him... if you can convince mother to let me do this, of course. I won't do anything without your blessing and support." you reply, looking at him confidently. His face is unreadable, as are his eyes, and you silently hope that you have inherited his ability to hide your emotions.
"Y/F/N you can't think about that seriosuly. She can't do this!"
"If you want to be in power, wouldn't it be better for you to join forces? Run a joint campaign. You would become Prime Minister, and he would become President if being a First Lady didn't suit you."
"I am Y/L/N. I am taking everything or nothing." this one sentence makes his façade break down. He smiles and clears his throat, trying to hide his proud smirk behind his glass of wine.
"Very good. You know your bank account number. If you need more campaign funds, in a reasonable amount, of course, you know who to ask." you smile at this and get up from your chair, ignoring your mother's words of protest.
"Thank you, father." you say, kissing his cheek and leaving the dining room, leaving him to deal with your mother's anger. You had to call your staff. The game was about to start.
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You enter the parliament building quite uncertainly. You are wearing a white suit made by Tigris. The black vest, which is intended to liven up the outfit, fits you a bit too tight, but you blame it on the fact that you've been stress-eating sweets lately. You will ask her to sew you appropriate clothes later.
For now, you wanted as few people as possible to know about your candidacy. You trusted Tigris, but there was no way in hell you could let Coriolanus find out about this beforehand. You will present him with a fait accompli.
Just like he did when he chose Lucy Gray.
You notice him first. He is wearing a blood-red suit and a snow-white shirt. You wonder if subconsciously it's his reminder of the deaths of the people who allowed him to be where he stands now, but you prefer to think that the bastard simply has no conscience.
You could easily escape from him, but you don't want to. Not any longer. He will be the one running away from you. So you walk straight up to him, the click of your high heels echoing off the marble floor of the Parliament building.
"Nice suit." you say to him. He lifts his head and turns to you as he hears your voice. You can't read the look in his cold, blue eyes, but you don't care about that now. You're only here to stick a pin in him before his performance. "You wore your father's clothes and now you wear Sejan's? Maybe you haven't really changed at all." you scoff at him, and he shakes his head with an equally mocking smile as yours.
"This is probably the latest collection from your favorite designer. Not that I remember." he says, putting his hands in his pockets and watching you carefully as he takes a step towards you.
"Impossible. My favourite designer is Tigris. And I heard that lately you're too much of a snobbish, self-assured asshole to wear what she made for you."
"Maybe it's because she's turning you against me, trying to convince you that I'm a monster?" he says this ironically as you both stare at each other.
You notice that the rose is missing from his jacket pocket. His hair is also messier, as if he's running a nervous hand through it—a habit that obviously hasn't died with your Coryo. You frown at this but shake it off to respond to his taunt.
"Maybe you are actually a monster, Coriolanus? Didn't that occur to you? How could anybody do the things you did so easily? Or maybe Dr. Gaul calls this an unconventional, out-of-the-box way of thinking?"
"At least she's not pretending to be someone she's not." he growls at you, furious, a grudge shining in his eyes, at which you seethe in anger. He, of all people, has no right to resent you.
"At least I can honestly say I'm not a murderer. And what about you?"
Before you can react, he takes a step towards you. One of his hands wraps around your throat like a snake. However, he remembers that you are in a public place and quickly moves his hand to your cheek and brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. His icy eyes are locked on yours as he tries to read any reaction from you. You give him nothing. And you're damn proud of it.
"If you didn't come to wish me luck in my first public appearance as a candidate for president, you should go. Before I give you a real reason to call me a monster, little diamond." he whispers quietly, the tone of his voice laced with threat, but you don't give a damn.
"Oh, snowy… I really wish you a lot of luck. You'll need it, my boy." you say, patting his chest dismissively. You walk away, making sure to bump his arm with yours as you move past him to go to the hall where the first recording for the presidential candidatures of Panem is to be held.
And you already know that it will be hard for you not to look at him, as a furious surprise will appear on his face when he sees that you will also be presenting your programme and announcing your candidature.
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You've regretted your candidature many times over the past two weeks. Partly because you had to spend more and more time with the devil in a fancy suit. You didn't see this coming; you were too busy thinking about preventing him from winning. Now you had to attend balls with him and other candidates and various events that helped promote your campaigns, smile at cameras and photographers, and try to remain as polite and courteous to others as you needed.
Like now.
You were attending some important business event, and your uncomfortable high heels were digging into your skin, hurting you. But it was worth bleeding a little. You looked drop-dead gorgeous.
"Tomorrow you have an interview with the Capitol Times; the day after tomorrow we are promoting in the children's ward at the hospital; at the end of the week we both have to go to Fulvia Cardew's engagement party. And in the meantime, you have to go to at least three fittings of new clothes that Tigris made." Clemensia says, writing something down in her small notebook.
"Thanks, Clem. I don't know what I'd do without you." you say with a small smile as you sip your glass of champagne.
"You'd have to keep that stupid calendar and schedule yourself. If you want to help in some way, you can finally answer one of the many calls from Coriolanus. He torments both me and the servants in your house at night."
"And make my mother lose hope that someone is courting me? No thanks; this way, I have peace from her, and I don't have to talk to him longer than I should. Besides, I thought you liked it when I gave you the gifts he somehow managed to leave at my door."
"At some point, yes... but you will finally have to clean up the relationship between you two. Even if we win, Coriolanus will remain an important political player, and it would be good to have him on our side. Besides, it's obvious that he… oh shit. Gaul is coming." she says, terrified, and leaves you. You turn around just as the co-creator of The Hunger Games walks up to you.
“Miss Y/L/N. Congratulations. You surprised me.” you swallow the rest of the champagne and set the glass on the table behind you, preparing to face this crazy woman.
"I think half of the Capitol was in a similar condition. But I appreciate the gesture, Dr. Gaul." you say this with a polite smile as the woman looks you up and down. You're glad you're keeping yourself from trembling under her scrutinising, watchful gaze.
"Mr. Snow seemed to be particularly surprised. As soon as he returned to the lab, he came up with wonderful ideas for next year's Hunger Games." she boasts, and you smile fakely. It sickens you to think about what these two could have come up with for these poor children. But you don't show it. Instead, you chose to strike back.
"I heard that after Lucy Gray's disappearance, their... popularity dropped a bit. I hope things are going well with the sponsors? It would be such a shame if the project and ideas had to be... cancelled due to a lack of money."
"We're doing well. When Mr. Snow becomes president, I think the government will be more willing to fund them."
"IF Mr. Snow becomes president, Dr. Gaul." you correct her, slightly irritated. The woman smiles and nods her head mockingly.
"Of course... If." she says it with a wolfish, menacing smile.
You both stare at each other with hatred for a moment, both of you refusing to give up in your little battle. The atmosphere between you is tense.
You flinch when you feel a hand on your back. The delicate scent of roses begins to float in the air.
"Dr. Gaul. I am so happy to see you here. Y/N, you look amazing as always." Coriolanus says as he leans in and places a kiss on your cheek. You would wipe it in disgust if there weren't other people around you.
"Mr. Snow." Dr. Gaul greets him.
The mysterious smile never leaves her face as she watches the two of you. You remember what she just said. How Coriolanus was still so eagerly working with her on the Hunger Games. His hand on your back starts to burn you in an unpleasant way.
"Excuse me. I need to get some fresh air. It started to stink in here." you say, subtly implying that it's the scent of Coriolanus and his rose that bothers you as you walk away from them both.
You go to the roof of the penthouse, which is surprisingly empty, and take out a cigarette. You search for the lighter, thinking about what Gaul told you. Somehow you felt even more distant from Coriolanus... as if she emphatically confirmed what you already knew.
Your Coryo was completely gone. And there was nothing that could bring him back to you.
But why did you still care about him anyway?
"I didn't know you started smoking." you flinch when you hear his voice behind you.
You ignore him, trying to light the lighter, but to no avail. Apparently, today everything must have gone shitty for you. Seeing your struggles, he walks over to you. He takes a lighter from his pants pocket and holds it to your cigarette, lighting it.
"What the hell do you want?" you ask him madly, at which he raises his eyebrows, but he is not moving away from you.
"What? You won't even thank me? You know, I've helped you there. I could just leave you to talk with Gaul, but I walked in and took her attention from you." he says, stuffing the lighter and his hands into his pockets as he leans on the railing next to you, staring at the skyline of the Capitol below you.
"I didn't need a fucking hero. I could have left her at any time. Unlike you, I don't play vaseline, I don't humiliate myself, and I don't do anything I don't want to, just to please other people." you snort and blow a cloud of cigarette smoke at him. He coughs, looking at you offended, to which you just smirk.
"You know, I remember the time when you were doing everything in your power to please ME. In many, many ways, actually." he says, using his hand to wave away your clouds of cigarette smoke.
"Keep these memories close to you because they will never happen again. I'd rather be burned alive than ever sleep with you again." you say it with obvious disgust. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the furrow of anger forming between his eyebrows. "Don't frown. Or make-up artists will have a hard time covering your wrinkles."
"I have no idea why you are so aggressive and act madly when it comes to me. I didn't do anything to you." he responded firmly to your mocks, never taking those ice-blue irises off of you.
"That's the problem, Coriolanus! You think that you don't do anything wrong, when the truth is that you are taking actions that are terrible. I feel like puking just looking at you and thinking about how many children will suffer because of Dr. Gaul's and your crazy ideas." you burst out furiously at him. You are now standing opposite each other, both of you glaring at the other in a furious, defiant way.
"The Hunger Games are necessary."
"Bullshit." you interrupt him before he can make any arguments. You see him sigh, running a hand through his gelled hair.
You catch yourself subconsciously missing his curls and how you used to stroking them when he was lying with you on your couch and reading a set book for one of your classes…
"Have you ever been in the District? 10, 11, 12? No. You didn't. You have no idea what kind of people are leaving there. You live in the safety of the Capitol, and you have no idea how quickly these rats can start a civil war and rebellions. Did you forget what they did to us? How have we suffered? I lost my father, and my family went poor. I had to pretend that I was still a rich snob. Tgiris, my grandmother, and I starved more than once; they wanted to throw us out of the apartment. I had nothing but a meaningless name and family."
"You know, that was the time when you had everything. You had friends, family, and a girlfriend. My love and limitless devotion, respect, and admiration. Now what do you have left? Money? Power? Glory? Besides, people are not the same. They can be good, Coriolanus. The fact that you are too afraid to see or admit it is proof of how huge a coward you actually became." you say it disappointedly, dropping the cigarette to the floor and stomping on it.
"I am not..." he pauses as you look up at him, and your eyes meet. He thought that no one could silence him. But one look from you, full of resentment and sadness, makes him fall silent.
You make him feel weak. As if he was still that poor teenager who had to hide his family's terrible financial situation. Only now he's hiding the fact that your words are actually reaching him. That they actually hurt him.
He couldn't afford to have any weaknesses. He had to be strong, tough, and decisive. However, after one look at you, it was enough for him to begin to question everything he had learned under Dr. Gaul. To question everything he did after the fucking Hunger Games and Lucy Gray.
"Yes, you are. Everything you are doing and every bad decision you've made, you made out of fear. Fear of losing your life. Of losing your position. Of never coming back to the Capitol. You are a coward who desperately tries to play the brave man that matters in this world."
"You have no idea what it was like in the district! Or in the Hunger Games, when I had to get Sejanus out of there. You don't know what you would do in such a situation, so don't you dare stand there and judge me. Not when all I could think about in those days, what kept me away from absolute madness, was you." he says, desperately trying to present his actions to you as right, to make you understand his point of view and the reasons why he did all of these.
"Maybe not. Maybe I don't know what it's like. But I would never become the cause of the death of my best friend. You have his blood on your hands. I will never forgive you that." you notice him flinching at your words, but that's all you can see through the mask of indifference he suddenly decided to wear. But his eyes—his eyes and the emotions hidden in them—remind you so much of your Coryo.
"Do you think I have removed it from my memories? That his screams didn't haunt me in my dreams? That I simply forgot about him?"
"You are certainly on a good way to do it, Coriolanus." your soft whisper gives him goosebumps. You look at each other for a moment. When you realise he has nothing to say, you shake your head, laughing bitterly, mocking yourself for thinking for a moment that he really was more than just the cruel Gamemaker, and turn away.
You walk towards the exit, but suddenly you hear his quick footsteps behind you. He wraps his arms around your waist with one hand and holds your hands with the other, making sure you don't break away. He rests his forehead against the back of your head, inhaling your scent for a moment before whispering into your ear.
"Do you remember that place?" he asks, his nose stroking your cheek. "Our second date. Sejanus, let me take you to one of his parents' penthouses. They were supposed to be on vacation, but they came back earlier. We had to hide on the roof and wait since they would leave so we too could. We had a picnic here. I was holding you close to my chest, a little closer than I am doing now. It started to rain. I was furious because I wanted everything to be perfect for you, and as always, everything went terribly wrong. I wanted to look at the stars with you and run my hands through your hair while you fell asleep on my chest, cuddling up to me as if I were your teddy bear. I loved feeling the weight of you on me. In every circumstance. Anyway, we gathered everything and ran to your house. You let me into your room through the window. We took a hot shower together and..."
"And then happened the worst sex I've ever had." you interrupt him, trying to regain control of the situation. He only laughed at that, which made your heart skip a beat when, for the first time in so many months, you hear him laughing truly, not in a mocking, bitter, or fake way.
"The worst? Your moans and scratches on my back proved otherwise. Besides, considering it was the first time for both of us, I guess I did a good job. Your silky skin has haunted my dreams since that night. It never stopped. And judging by the way you are breathing right now, you also seem to think about that time fondly. We can do it again at my place tonight if you want. I am now in a much better position to truly make your nights unforgettable."
"I'd rather be bitten by one of Dr. Gaul's snakes, but thanks for the offer." you huff, getting out of his arms and pushing him away from you as you go to the exit of the Plinth's penthouse's roof.
"Don't tempt me. You know I can arrange it. Sucking the poison out of your delicate skin with my mouth is a really tempting alternative." he says, following you as you both return to the main hall.
"Disgusting pervert." you whisper over your shoulder so that only he can hear you in the crowd of elites and reporters who have gathered.
"Both of us, my darling. Both of us. But the point is..." he grabs your hand and helps you down the stairs as if he was a true gentleman. You would roll your eyes at this, but people have already noticed, you know, that you have hardened the mask of politeness on your face. "I remember everything. I am not losing my memory. I never will. Not about you. Not about us." he whispers, and you feel his blue eyes burning a hole into your temple with how intensely he stares at you.
"You must be mad to think that I will just go back to you. Besides, I don't have time for you. My voters are waiting for me."
He chuckles and gives you a mysterious, quizzical look that you can't read. But before you can analyse his stance, he pulls your hand to his mouth and places a gentle kiss on it. His full lips tease your skin, setting it alight with the reminder of all the times he's had the opportunity to do this.
He pulled away from you as quickly as he leaned into your hand. He smiles, giving you a view of his pearly teeth. How pleased the devil is...
"We shall see, my little petal." he whispers. Your old nickname he gave you one day is sounding as perfectly sweet as it used to, and you are not sure how much strength you have left in you to not let him melt your heart. Then he walks away from you, leaving you in the crowd of other people.
And you stand there, rooted to the floor, and all you can do is stare at the back of his head as you try to snap out of the feeling of his lips against your skin, trying not to dream of experiencing all of him again.
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A week later, you were returning from another party. You managed to sneak out a little earlier than usual without anyone noticing. Relieved, you got into the empty elevator and pressed the button for the ground floor. You leaned against the wall and sighed, rubbing your neck, where you wore a diamond necklace. Your momentary alone relief didn't last long.
As usual, you smelled him first. The faint hint of roses hit you as the man leaned against the wall of the elevator next to yours, giving you some space. You glanced at him casually. This time, he didn't have a rose on his vest. He was also much paler.
"The makeup artists chose the wrong powder for you." you say, not knowing why you even initiated a conversation with him.
"Was Thomas so tired that he couldn't stay with you until the end? Was he too scared to hold on to the precious diamond that had fallen into his hands like a grain to a blind hen until the end of the night?" he responds to your taunt. You frown at the hint of jealousy in his voice.
Coryo has always been possessive and unsure of your relationship and whether you might leave him one day for someone better. Therefore, any man's attention towards you caused... unpleasant feelings for him. He obviously still had this behaviour towards you. Even though you were no longer together.
"He has an exam. Anatomy or some other shit. But don't worry, he will definitely accompany me when the election results are announced."
"Seriously? Are you now going to show off with that little boy-toy?" he asks you furiously. You can feel how his cold blue eyes are piercing right through you.
"Livia Cardew?" you scoff as well, opening your eyes to glare at him with an equally disgusted look. "But you know what? Actually, I'm not surprised. The biggest whore in Capitol. After you, of course."
"You slept with that whore 374 times. Which makes you equally slutty, little petal." he says with a cheeky smirk. You huff, folding your arms as you look at him in disbelief.
"I can't believe you were pathetic enough to actually count this."
"You're lucky I've lost count of the number of orgasms you've had because of me."
"And you are disgusting." you shake your head, impatiently waiting for the elevator to go down to the ground floor so you can get far away from him. You try hard not to think about all the times you had… done this.
But he doesn't let you go that easily. He leans down and brushes your hair back to give him better access to your ear to whisper.
"And you crave me as much as I crave you, my darling."
"Do you think that just because you started donating to charity organisations, I will suddenly fall into your arms or into your bed? You think I don't know you're doing this as part of a campaign? To get more votes? Are you that stupid to think that I will fall for it and believe that you are trying to be a better man for me?" you ask him, angry and defensive, mocking him.
"I'm starting to doubt my ability to do anything you could approve of. But it's nice that you still care about me enough to be interested in what I do."
"You can give up your candidature for president if you want to see me happy." he laughs at your words, looking at you with a mischievous smirk.
"And make it so easy for you? No way, my darling. We both know that only the two of us have a real chance of winning. You should finally surrender and join me. We both know this is where we'll end up. I, with you by my side, just as it has always been."
"Not always. I remember very well the time when it was only you and your songbird." the elevator is on the second floor when he aggressively presses the stop button.
You try very hard to hide from him the fact that you feel insecure in this situation. In a small space, with him practically at your fingertips, you don't know if you can control yourself. So you try to remember all the disgusting crimes he committed.
"It was just a game. A show for the Capitol. You know I had to win. It didn't end the way I wanted, but you know perfectly well that I had to do it." he says, placing his hands gently on your shoulders as he tries his hardest to keep your eyes on him and you standing still in your place for the time he talks.
"I've already told you this. There is always another choice." you growl in his face, furious, refusing to give up.
"You wouldn't even talk to me if I still remained a nobody. You would have dumped me the moment it became known to all Panem that my family was poor and that Snow's name meant nothing. And marrying you would only be a distant dream of a madman."
"As if you had any chance now." you mock him with a laugh. You somehow push him away from you and press the start button. The elevator starts moving down again.
"I have your parents' blessing."
"And my disgust and resentment towards you."
There is silence between you for a moment. He stubbornly stares at your face, trying to read some emotion there, but you give him nothing but a blank stare at the door in front of you as you impatiently wait for it to open.
"What do you do when you win?" his question catches you off guard for a moment. You look at him in shock.
"What?"
"What do you do when you win? Bring an end to the Hunger Games? Try to get me killed? Why are you doing all of this?" he asks, standing directly in front of you. Your chests rub against each other with every breath you take. You lift your head slightly, staring at him defiantly.
"So YOU won't win." you finally reply, shuddering as he takes your hand gently in his and starts tracing patterns on it with his thumb.
He leans towards you so that you could rest your chin on his shoulder if you wanted to. You shiver, feeling the warmth of his body close to yours and feeling his lips gently brush against your earlobe.
"Snow lands on top." he whispers, hot air caressing your ear as he bites the lobe of it.
"Y/L/N takes everything." you whine, digging your nails into his neck. He gasps in surprise, his hands gripping your waist tightly as he presses you against the elevator wall with his body.
"Or nothing. But don't worry. When I win, there will be no one who can stop me from marring you."
"IF you win, then I will be gone. You will never find me. Just like your little songbird." you can see the fury in his eyes at the mere mention of her. His grip on you tightens.
"She is not mine. You are. Accept it and end this. You don't want to be president. I do. There is nothing more powerful than you and me, so and this damn kind of punishment for me and accept your place as my First Lady."
"Maybe I don't want this… but it will be so funny to watch you fail," you say, tilting your head and watching him closely as his nostrils flare with rage at your stubbornness. "Besides, I'd rather shoot myself in the head than be your wife."
"There was a time when you wanted it. When it was all we dreamed of. You and me. Together. Against the whole world."
"That's how it was. When I thought you were worth something more, when you were my top priority. I thought you wanted something more than money and power, but it looks like I never meant for you that much to be as important to you as you were to me. Or maybe I didn't know you at all." you say, no longer hiding the hurt in your voice, and you press the button on the damn elevator to get away from him.
You promised yourself that you wouldn't show him how much he hurt you or how much you missed him. But apparently he wanted to make sure he destroyed not only your Coryo but you as well.
You look away from him, ignoring the fact that he suddenly went quiet next to you. All he did was look at you. And you avoided his gaze, afraid that you would melt in front of him and that you would show him your heart again.
The elevator opens, and you sigh in relief. However, it doesn't last long. You tense up when you see reporters downstairs, waiting at the exit.
"Smile for the picture." you say, and drag him with you towards the exit.
You quickly let go of his arm as he obediently follows you, and you try to ignore the fact that his fingers lightly brush against your hand as if he wants to grab it. You move away from him gently and quickly walk past the reporters and paparazzi.
You quickly get into your car and nod to the driver to go. You lean back in your seat and sigh deeply, placing a hand over your racing heart. You can't help but glance at Coriolanus.
Thanks to your car's tinted windows, he can't see you. Still, he watches your car with his eyes, and for a small moment, you think that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't all rotten to the core. Maybe, in his twisted way, he still cares about you.
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The first round of elections was behind you. As you expected, Coriolanus and you achieved the greatest results. The game for the presidency of Panem has begun to be fought solely between you two.
And you were about to play the first dirty card against him. Clemensia nods at you as you head towards the podium and the microphone.
"Good evening, everyone. Thank you very much for all your votes and the trust you have placed in both me and my, well, rival after all." people chuckle gently, you find Coriolanus' curious gaze in the crowd. "I am convinced that, no matter who of us wins the upcoming elections, Panem will be in good hands anyway." You see a glimmer of hope shining in his eyes as he comes closer, moving freely through the crowd. The look in his blue eyes never leaves you for a minute. You would tremble, intimidated by his attention, if you didn't know, what would happen in a few minutes. "Without further ado, I would like to introduce someone who will certainly make this evening more pleasant. You have no idea how much I had to beg our star of the evening to agree to perform today. Ladies and gentlemen. At my ask and to your delight. The one and only Lucy Gray Baird!"
As you leave the stage, you glance at Coriolanus, seeing him staring at the woman with the guitar appearing on stage in shock and mild horror.
You stand further away from the crowd, on the other side of the room—as far away from Coriolanus as you can be—and watch him carefully, leaning against the wall.
You have to admit that Lucy Gray is stunningly beautiful. And the legend she has created around herself, her voice, and her skills only make her more perfect in the eyes of others.
You're not surprised that she charmed Coriolanus months ago and now. In fact, you expect Snow, too overcome with emotion upon meeting her again, to forget his façade and pursue her. With a bit of luck, maybe your people will be able to take compromising photos of him.
But you are surprised when, after watching her for a while, he shifts his gaze to the crowd of people, looking for something. You freeze when his eyes meet yours. You raise an eyebrow, not sure why, instead of staring at the girl, he stubbornly searches for your gaze. Or rather, you don't want to admit that you know the reason why, because that's exactly why you quickly leave the great hall of parliament and run away from the man who is now walking towards you.
And much to your misfortune, Coriolanus Snow learns from his mistakes. That's why you suddenly bump into someone a few metres from the exit at the end of the corridor leading to the elevator. You collide against a wall of toned muscles. His arms quickly wrap around you, keeping you from falling.
"Leaving so soon?" his whisper sent unwanted shivers down your spine, as did how close your face was to his.
"Get your hands off me." you snap at him and get out of his grip. You stare at the elevator, contemplating how to get past him and get in, but he sees your intentions in your eyes and blocks any escape route with his body.
"What game are you playing?" he asks, staring at you. You lift your head, returning his defiant glare. "I don't even care how the hell you found her. Why is she here? What do you need her for?"
"Shouldn't you try to catch your little songbird before she flies away again?" you mock, ignoring all of the questions he asked you.
"I am." he says, staring firmly at you, making you more confused by his actions than before. He should have been after Lucy Gray… why the hell was he keeping you pinned to the wall, blocking your only escape route with his body?
"What?"
"I am not letting you run away. We are solving this here and now." he says this, looking around the hall. You take advantage of his moment of inattention and try to free yourself from his strong grip, but he doesn't move even an inch in your struggle. Fuck his peacekeeper training.
"We have nothing to solve, get it into your stupid head!" you shout at him in frustration, unable to get out of his arms.
"You know what your main problem is? You don't allow yourself the idea that you might be wrong or that you don't know everything about me. I may be a monster, but I've never lied to you. About anything. Lucy Gray and I had nothing when you were with me. Whoever gave you these stupid rumours was lying. Ask her. She'll tell you that the only thing I did was kiss her. When I was drunk in District 12, exactly the day after I got there. And do you know why? Because I was convinced I had fucked up my life and I would never see your damn face again. And fuck, even kissing her couldn't get you out of my mind. All I thought was you. All I think about is you. I can admit it out loud. How about you?"
"I despise you." you growl angrily, struggling in his arms.
"Yes? Then why did you frame Livia for engagement to Festus? You think I don't know it's because of you that they were caught fucking in the garden together?"
"I wanted to discredit you. Show that your girlfriend is sleeping with anyone on the side. Besides, you made Thomas fail at university, and he had to retake his exams today, which is why he couldn't show up. I had to take revenge."
"No. You were jealous of me. You wanted to get rid of her and you did. Why are you playing the gardener dog? Why don't you just admit that you want me?" you roll your eyes at him, trying your hardest to hold on to your internal irritation and fury at him. But it was a very demanding task, considering how his mesmerising icy-blue eyes were now watching you very carefully.
"I don't want you." you say, trying to sound firm but also a little indifferent, enough for him to believe you. But you can see by the way his eyebrow raises that you've screwed up something.
"Yes? Then kiss me." his sudden command leaves you extremely stunned. You almost lose the fight with yourself to keep your jaw from opening from shock.
"What?"
"If you despise me, if you don't care about me, then you will have no problem with kissing me and walking away like nothing had happened." he explains, moving closer to you, your noses brushing against each other, you feel his breath brush against your lips, and the warmth of his mouth is so close that it makes you feel as if you could actually touch him.
"Let me go. I'm not going to make a fool of myself for your own amusement. Those days are gone forever; we are not a couple, and we will never be together again. Get over it!"
"Then kiss me. C'mon. Prove your point. Kiss me as if you hate me. As if you despise every little part of me just as much as you claim. Prove that you have absolutely no feelings towards me despite hatred and grudges."
And God, you want it. You want it so much that it hurts you not to be able to press your lips to his right here and now.
You know that the moment your lips meet his, all your cold demeanour towards him will melt away like snow in spring. You know that you will easily return to his arms, giving yourself to him and proving nothing in your favor. And you've come so far���too far—to let him see past your facade now, to let him make you want him even more than you already do.
You shiver as he leans in so that his nose brushes yours as he gently cups your cheeks in his hands. He doesn't make the first move. Of course not. This cunning snake tempts you to give in to your greatest, darkest desires, which you feel ashamed of for having managed to survive in the recesses of your heart.
"End this torment. For both of us sake."
Just a gentle touch, you think, hearing his whisper and feeling his body softly press against yours, complementing you perfectly as always. One taste of his lips. Just one...
Your heart beats fast, and your breaths are mingling in the small space still left between you two. With a trembling hand, he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. His fucking eyes are all you can look at, the unspoken request shining so brightly in them that you can't mistake his desire for anything else. And you give in, tilting your head to place your lips so close to him...
A loud bang makes you both pull away from each other. A drunk senator staggers towards the elevator, nodding at the two of you. He mumbles something under his breath, and after a quick glance towards Coriolanus and a nod of his head, you decide that he will walk him away and make sure he doesn't tell (or remember) how outrageously close the two of you were just moments ago.
You walk back to the party, trying to calm down enough to let the blush fade from your cheeks.
You make sure that Clem sends Lucy to her hiding place after her performance, and you continue to politely smile and pose for photos, promoting your allegiance.
And the next day, when you are reading the morning newspaper, you notice in one of the photos that this bastard put a rose behind your ear.
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It was raining heavily.
It was late at night as you were preparing for your speech the next day. You walked around your room with a piece of paper in your hand, gesturing and practicing proper intonation and posture.
“Miss Y/L/N?” you stop when you hear the voice of one of your maids. "We have… an unusual situation."
"What? Did something happen?" you ask, confused at her uncertain tone of voice.
"It depends on how you interpret the situation, miss." you raise an eyebrow at her questioningly. She points to the window. You frown in surprise, but walk over to the window anyway.
"What the bloody hell is he doing here?" you whisper, seeing Coriolanus standing in your garden. He was completely soaked. His hair and coat were soaked with water, clinging to him as he stared at your window, standing still as the rain hit him.
"David says he's been there for several hours. He tried to talk to him and get him to leave, but Mr. Snow… just stands there."
Your first instinct would be to close the curtains and pretend he wasn't there, but you didn't want to think about the scandal that would start if anyone found out that your rival was standing outside your window in the full rain like some lovesick puppy. It was obvious he had to be here for a reason. It was probably some dirty play on his part. Something that was intended to negatively impact your candidature.
But then you looked at him. Even when you showed up, his gaze was... disturbingly empty. He couldn't fake it that well. It was not like he could completely hide his reaction to seeing you.
"Does anyone else know about this?" she shakes her head, and you sigh. You have no idea why he's standing outside your window in the heavy rain. You're just thanking fate for him choosing the day your parents left the Capitol to behave so strangely. You just hoped no meddlesome paparazzi saw him. "All right. Make sure it stays that way." you ask her and walk out of your room.
Walking downstairs to get to your coat and umbrella, you wonder why the hell he's standing outside in front of your mansion, staring at your window, risking getting sick with all the rain pouring down on him furiously.
It has happened before that he was standing under your window. Before this whole Hunger Games thing started, Dr. Gaul and Lucy Gray he would often sneak up to you through your window to talk about what was bothering him.
But that was a long time ago. And now you had no idea what he was doing out there and in all this rain.
You wrap your coat around yourself and take an umbrella as you go outside. The rain somehow seeps through your shields, hitting you unpleasantly. Water droplets start to soak into your clothes. You wonder how he stayed there for so many hours.
"What the hell are you doing here? Are you crazy?! Is this another one of your sick tricks against me?!" you shout, walking towards him. But he doesn't answer. His eyes are locked on you as he stands there, motionless. You notice that his eyes are bloodshot from crying, and his hands are shaking slightly, as well as all of his body. You don't know if it's from the cold or from crying. "Coriolanus?" you ask, starting to seriously worry about him.
He trembles even more, not looking at you. He fixes his gaze on your shoes. What worries you is that he is completely oblivious to the rain pouring down on him. As if he didn't feel anything at all anymore.
“Alright, come on.” you say, pulling him by the arm towards your mansion. You hide him a bit under the umbrella, but it doesn't change the fact that he's soaked like a dog. Maybe even worse.
His silence, the lack of any emotion on his face, worries you. You haven't seen him like this before. So… empty.
You enter the house through the back entrance. You put the umbrella down and turn towards him. Seeing that he's still not reacting to any stimuli and acting like he's on some kind of autopilot, you walk up to him and start unbuttoning his coat.
He doesn't comment on your behavior. Neither do you say anything. You just want to get him out of all those wet clothes so he won't get seriously sick... You have no idea why you worry or why you care. Maybe you are on some kind of autopilot too.
As you lead him to your room, you are involuntarily reminded of all the times he snuck there with you. When you were still the closest people to each other in this world. When you came to each other for comfort. When you were each other's only shelter.
"I should still have some of your old clothes here. You should go change and take a warm bath. There's no way you wouldn't get sick after this." you say, walking over to your clothes chest and looking for some of his old shirts and pants.
"Grandma'am is dead." he says it in an empty, emotionless tone of voice. You freeze in shock and slowly turn to face him. He still stands where you left him, his gaze blankly fixed on the space next to you.
You don't say anything. You don't know what to tell him anyway. You just stare at him, waiting for him to say something more. It bothers you how he just… doesn't do anything. Acting as if all that was left of him was an outer shell, a facade that barely held together.
You walk up to him and take his cold hand hesitantly into yours. You stare at them for a moment and look up, meeting his icy, bloodshot eyes.
"I... I am so sorry, Coriolanus." his bitter laugh at your words might be a good sign after his disturbing behaviour earlier, but somehow it worries you even more than his silent attitude and blank stare.
''You will never forgive me, will you? You will always see me only as a monster? As a murder and nothing more?" he asks, hearing that you still call him by his name, even at a time like this. The version he hated, instead of the sweet nickname he hadn't heard in a long time. Which even Tigris stopped using.
"Thta's not..." you start, concerned at the calm tone in which he says it. As if the truth of what was happening between you was starting to dawn on him.
"This is exactly what I am to you! A heartless monster! But you know what?! I AM NOT! And you... you are a hypocrite." he starts getting angry and pushes your hands away from him as he paces around your room.
"Me?!" you scream at him, disbelieving. You step in front of him, blocking his path and forcing him to face you.
"YES! You! You may not be a murderer, but you do something much worse. Your indifference, your hatred, and your aversion towards me—do you think it doesn't do anything to me? You've been killing me and hurting me day after day since I left the fucking Capitol and was sentenced to exile. And since I came back, your face, your voice, and your memories haunt me more than ever before. Missing you is killing me. Watching you from afar is killing me. Not being able to hold you in my arms is killing me. You said you could confidently say you're not a murderer. I do not agree. You kill me every day, and each time in a more cruel way. But all I can do is follow you like some faithful puppy, waiting for you to change your mind and give me a chance to show you that I'm not lost, that I'm not a monster, and that I didn't WANT any of this to happen! I spend every sleepless night, when I can't pass out in bed due to exhaustion and lack of sleep, thinking about you! And even now... when my life is falling apart around me, all I can do is... come to you. Just like I've always done."
He's shaking with emotion, and you think you've never seen him so moved or so shaken before. You wonder if he might have gotten drunk, but those thoughts quickly leave you when he suddenly leans down and wraps you in his arms. He buries his face in your neck, inhaling your scent as he continues to shiver. His wet clothes start to soak yours, but all you feel is his breath on the skin of your neck.
"I miss you so much, petal…" he whispers, and you stroke his wet hair, unable to tell if it's his tears soaking the collar of your shirt or his wet clothes or skin from rain. In fact, it doesn't really matter to you at all right now.
"Why did you come here? Of all places…"
"And where else could I go?" he interrupts you, his eyes looking at you so… pleadingly. As if there really was no other place on earth he could go in such a situation, where he could wallow in his grief and despair.
"I don't know… to Livia or…" he cuts you off before you can finish your sentence. He tangles his hand in your hair and pulls you in for a kiss. His lips are terribly cool against yours, but it only enhances how amazing you feel as he caresses your lips tenderly with his. 
He slowly steals the warmth from you, which you're strangely happy about while he's deepening the kiss. You press yourself against him, slowly warming him up, his wet clothes uncomfortably transferring their wetness to yours, which you ignore in favour of kissing him. Just like the drops of cold water dripping from his hair onto your forehead, which doesn't sober you up and doesn't make you move away from him. If anything, you place your hand around his neck and pull him closer.
Eventually, though, you both have to pull away, gasping for air. You both take shaky breaths, his forehead resting against yours, as your senses slowly begin to come back to you. But you're secretly glad that his hands don't leave you as he uses the pad of his thumb to stroke your cheek, your lips, your cheekbone, anywhere he has a chance to touch you, as long as he doesn't take his hand away from your face.
"Only you saw me in my fragile form. Only you saw my shattered heart and the shell of myself. I... only allow myself to be vulnerable with you." he whispers with his eyes closed, keeping his forehead pressed against yours, trying his best to hold on to you as if you were his only anchor.
"Being sad, mad, or vulnerable doesn't mean being weak. Don't be ashamed of having emotions. I... all I ever wanted... was for you to... to be something more than all of these people in the Capitol. To be someone more than what Dr. Gaul tried to mould you into. You are a good man, Coryo. Please show me that you can still be that man. That my friend and lover is still there."
You don't talk to each other anymore after that. You don't know whether he has heard your request or is even considering granting it. All you know is that you lost that night. That the rational part of you had gone to fuck itself, seeing him so vulnerable and hurt, just as you were.
So, when he tries to break away from you and walk away, you grab his wrist tightly, stopping him.
"Stay. Don't go." you whisper. You don't know if it's a request or an order. He doesn't think twice about it either, turning back to you after a moment and pulling you into his chest as he holds you tightly in his arms and buries his face in your hair.
And he stays. You manage to get him to take a hot shower and some medicine in case he catches a cold.
This night, you fell asleep in each other's arms. Every now and then you stop stroking his hair, his back, and drawing patterns on his chest to use the pad of your thumb to gently wipe away the tears that sometimes fall from his gorgeous blue eyes.
And in the morning, when all that remains from him is a scent of him, of his cologne, and a dent on the pillow, you can't help but feel disappointed and silently hope that maybe your Coryo is still alive.
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You haven't had a chance to be alone with him since then. You both are too busy running your campaign and the ongoing rivalry between you two.
However, you notice that he has stopped sending gifts, late-night phone calls, or other ways of getting your attention. Whatever relationship you had was purely political. You didn't know whether to be happy or cry.
Tigris stopped talking about him. You don't know if it's a good change, but she doesn't mention her cousin anymore. She was quieter after her grandmother died. The black clung to her wardrobe and skin, highlighting her paler than usual complexion.
It was the evening they were supposed to announce the election results.
You took the elevator to the top floor of the Snow apartment, picking up Tigris and Clem on the way and heading to your house to either celebrate your success or failure.
You sigh tiredly, leaning against the elevator behind you. You close your eyes and listen as it moves up to the next floor.
You open your eyes when you hear a soft, buzzing sound. Things have changed a bit since you were last here. The interior was, of course, renovated and more elegant, but somehow... more emptier.
You try to shake off the feeling as you go further.
"Tigris?! I'm here!" you shout as you enter the living room.
You look around curiously, waiting for the blonde. You walk over to the bookshelf, looking through its contents. You choose one of the books and sit on the couch, but before you open it, you notice a framed photo on the coffee table.
You take the frame in your hands and look at an old photo of you and Coryo at the end of one year at the Academy. You cup your hand around his cheek, pulling him closer to you as you press a kiss on his cheek.
You smile as you remember the circumstances of taking this photo.
Sejanus found an old camera among his father's belongings. He insisted on taking photos to celebrate the end of a difficult year of study for all of you. You didn't know that Sejan developed the photos and gave them to Coriolanus.
And you certainly didn't expect him to keep them.
“I'm afraid Tigris is not here.” you place the photo on the coffee table and slowly turn towards Coriolanus. His hair is not combed with gel; it is slightly messy, and he has those adorable, damn curls on his head again. "She left a few minutes ago. You must have passed each other."
"Oh. She probably went to Clem's." you say, standing there slightly awkwardly and looking at him. He's wearing a black shirt and pants. Slightly wrinkled for your taste and definitely too wrinkled for his. "Are you alone?" you ask, unable to stop yourself.
"I am." he says, putting his hands in his pockets, walking around the couch so that he's now standing next to you, and picking up the book you were planning to read before Tigris came downstairs. "I guess your Thomas is waiting for you at your home."
"We... kind of broke up. Well, we weren't together, but… our paths diverged." you admit, taking the opportunity to have his back turned to you as he walked over to put the book back on the shelf. You can see his shoulders tense slightly. You've never wanted to run your hands down his muscular back more.
"What a pity. Right when I remembered his name…" he murmured. You take a few steps towards him, the click of your high heels echoing throughout the empty apartment.
"You always knew it, you were just too offended and angry to use it." he chuckles at your words and turns to face you, leaning his back gently against the bookshelf.
"Maybe." he hums, nodding his head, his eyes studying you intently.
"Maybe." you repeat after him, warmth rising in your chest as you see a stray strand of his hair fall onto his forehead.
"You should go back. I believe they will announce the results soon." he moves past you to grab the photo from the coffee table and places it on the chest of drawers next to the chair next to the bookcase. In the meantime, he turned on the TV, and he was right—they were going to report the results soon.
"What will you do if… you don't win?" you ask him, and he freezes for a moment. He sets things on the shelf, trying to arrange everything perfectly as he ponders his answer. You are getting a little nervous since you can't see his eyes or facial expression.
"I'll think of something for myself. Don't be happy. You won't be able to dance over my grave for a long time." you snort, shaking your head in amusement at his answer.
"I believe that in this case, it will be you who will be dancing at my funeral. And quite quickly."
"Stop it. You know damn well that I would never hurt you." he snaps at your answer as he turns to face you. You have been taken aback by his sudden reaction, but your defense system quickly kicked in.
"Sejanus..."
"I regret it every fucking day. Every day I wake up in the morning and don't see you on the other side of my bed. Every day I spend time surrounded by people I can't trust. Every day when I see Tigris' betrayed look and your disappointed, hurt gaze, it haunts my dreams as much as his screams. And maybe I'm a monster because I really don't care if he lives or dies, but I REGRET IT. Honestly. By you. Because of you. Because I lost you. I... I had lost you." he whispers the last sentence, as if it's only now dawning on him what really happened. It breaks your heart to see him like this, especially after what happened a few weeks ago.
"Coriolanus..." you say this and reach out to grab his arm, but this time he's the one pulling away from you. And the treatment you've gotten from him, just the same as you've once treated him, is tasting bitter.
"Just leave." he says, his eyes averting from you as he stares at the window overlooking the Capitol.
You walk up to him and place your hand on his shoulder. He turns his gaze away from the city in front of him and looks at you questioningly, not understanding what you are doing right now.
'Coriolanus... I..."
"And the president of Panem becomes… Y/N Y/L/N! Congratulations, Madam President!" the hosts' shouts and fanfare echo from the television, interrupting you. It takes you a while to realise what happened. Your hand falls from his shoulder as you stare dazedly at the TV behind him. You won. You became president.
Realisation hits you. You have no idea what will happen next. And... you're afraid. But not that you can't handle it. Not that you'll have a lot of new responsibilities, or even how many people you'll have to deal with from now on. NO. You are afraid that HE will never be close to you again. And the last few weeks... the last few weeks, maybe even months—had shown you that you couldn't live without him next to you anymore.
You needed Coriolanus Snow… as much as he needed you.
"Congratulations." his words snap you out of your shock and numbness. He sticks out his hand, waiting for you to take it and shake it. But you can only stand there, staring at him as you try to sort out your feelings. "You won't even shake my hand? Am I not worth even that, Madam President?"
You shake your head.
You hear him snort, laughing bitterly at your action, believing this is another example of your stubborn behaviour towards him. He drops his hand, obviously hurt, and is about to respond when you suddenly take a step towards him, cup his cheeks in your hands, and pull him in for a kiss.
He is surprised. Probably the same as you, but he gets over it rather quickly as he automatically responds to your kiss, caressing your lips with his as fervently as ever.
At some point, you end up on his couch, your hands moving from his neck to under his shirt. Your touch breaks him out of the trance you put him in. He takes your hands in his and moves them away from his body.
"I don't want your pity." he huffs, pulling away from you as he stands in front of the couch. You pull him towards you by his shirt so that he's straddling you, and you kiss him again, effectively silencing him as your hands land on the buttons of his shirt.
"You've never had it." you mumble between kisses, trailing your fingers over the bare skin and muscles of his back, and he moans softly into your neck, leaving a few hickeys there along his way to the buttoms of your own blouse. "It was always either my love or grudge."
"And now?" he asks, moving away from you again. His blue eyes stare intently into yours, and you know your answer depends on how this evening goes. And you missed the comforting feeling of his skin against yours too much to worry about his morality, of which you were apparently the sole soul that wanted and was able to take care of.
"Both of them." you reply, licking your lips. Maybe he was right from the beginning? Maybe you were destined to end up together? Maybe you were really the only thing that could keep him on the right path? But were you willing to devote your life to keeping him in check?
"I can work with that." you moan as he kisses you while lifting you off the couch. Your blouse falls somewhere on the floor as he carries you along the familiar path to his bedroom.
His lips caress yours gently like never before. His hands are practically everywhere, gently stroking every bit of your exposed skin. He pins you against his bedroom door and sucks on your neck, leaving a hickey. You moan again, causing the same reaction from him.
"Please, don't ever leave me again." he whispers into your mouth before trying to devour you again.
"Then don't give me a reason to do it." you whisper back, combing his hair as he pulls away from you enough to open the door. He kisses you all the way to his bed, stroking your waist gently.
He lays you down on the bed, his mouth moving to your neck, licking and sucking, leaving a few marks there as his hands moved down to the button of your pants.
"Wait. Wait." he listens to you immediately. He freezes, lifting his head to look at you with concern and a worried expression on his face. "You're not mad that I won?" he gives you such a beautiful smile and laugh that, for a moment, all you can do is watch him.
He was so ethereal... breathtaking in every sense of this word. You have no idea how you managed to stay away from him for that long... even knowing what he did.
"I love you. I have always loved you and always will. I'll get over the fact that you won't be my First Lady."
"Well... you can be my First Lord... or something like that..." he laughs at that and leans in to kiss you. You cup his cheeks in your hands and pull him closer to you. You moan into his mouth as his bare skin touches yours.
You whine in protest as he pulls away from you. He looks deep into your eyes and caresses your cheek tenderly with his hand.
"You sure?" you smile slightly and nod, placing your hands on his shoulders as he pulls you closer to him again. "We shall create a dynasty, my beautiful little petal." he promises you, placing soft kisses on your collarbones. You run your hands through his blond locks, pulling his head and lips to yours. "My most precious diamond." he plants another kiss, this time on the corners of your mouth, undoing your bra. "Mine."
"Coryo..." you moan, and he responds in kind, happy to finally hear his nickname falling lovingly from your lips like it used to.
You don't care what happens next. What will happen the next day? What will happen when you take over as president? Will he try to gain more influence than you? Will he continue working for Gaul? Or maybe you will unite your forces and create a presidential couple that Panem has never seen before. You do not know. All he cares about is his touch, his mouth, and his body against you.
And in the morning, when you wake up wrapped in his arms as he places kisses on your temple and tenderly, lazily draws patterns on your back with his fingers, you realise how good it was to be back where you belonged.
You realise how good it felt to wake up in your Coryo's arms again. Even if neither of you were the same person you once were. And you will certainly have more than one fight, dramatic breakup or silent fight for influence and power.
But after all, love was stronger than any grudge you could feel towards your Coryo... or at least as long as he still was him.
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thegnomelord · 9 months
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Ok, so I loved your dragon reader/ dragon price fic. The detailed courting rituals got me thinking about how different members of TF 141 react to a s/o who has different courting rituals than them.
The one rolling around in my mind rn is Gaz (which I'm pretty sure is a harpy or bird hybrid of some kind) with a dragon reader.
So Gaz tries to court reader through a more fancy version of pebbling. But, instead of giving cool rocks and sticks, it's gemstones and weapons. Yknow, expensive/fancy things that Gaz thinks the reader might want to add to his hoard.
Btw do you have an anon list? If so, is 👑 anon available?
I don't have an anon list yet but you're welcome to be 👑anon!
It's cool to think how they'd try to court you. I hc that werewolves, and Johnny by extension, are really straightforward. Like sitting way too close, hands roaming over your body, trying to lick into your mouth and going "Hey wanna make more of us?"
Ghost, the poor thing, is completely fucked bc he was human before becoming a wraith, how the Hell is he supposed to know? Que him going through Wikipedia articles and watching documentaries of your species courting and mating (having to rub one out imaging you and him in that position ofc) and just stumbling through the whole courting thing.
CW:NSFW
But Gaz? Oooh Gaz—
Safe to say he's fallen ass over tits for you.
It's the way you take care of them, of him, of the monstrous strength used to defend them turning velvet soft when Gaz needs emotional support that has his harpy hindmind demanding to lock you down before a competitor snatches you away.
Only problem — you're not a harpy. And Gaz has no idea how courtship works, as when he asks Price about it (under the guise of just being curious) the old fart just gives him an amused look and tells him to figure it out.
Though harpies and dragons are two different species, he figures there must be some similarities, so he figures to listen to the old fairy tales about your kind and looks for the shiniest thing he can find, because Harpies court by giving gifts and dragons like to hoard and both of them like shiny stuff right?
You're confused like Hell when one day you wake up to find a silver ring with a shiny amethyst sitting on your windowsill. You know for a fact it's not yours as the instinct to catalogue every item in your hoard is as old as the draconic blood running through your veins and you'd remember if you had it.
When you make sure it's not stolen and no owner can be found, (because who'd wear that type of ring in a military base?) you decide to keep it, failing to notice how the way Gaz's pupils get bigger when you put the ring in your pocket.
It is a nice ring, the shine of the gemstone tickling your brain in a pleasant way. The military doesn't allow dragons to have large hoards, most of the items you've gathered over the decades and centuries safely hidden in vaults, but it feels good to have a small hoard in your den.
You expect this to be a one off event. But. No. Every few weeks you find a new thing on your windowsill, from gems to guns to additions to weapons you've expressed you'd like to get. Each new thing leaves you scratching your head, annoyance growing bit by bit as there's never enough scent on the items to track the culprit down and it's not like you can turn the base upside down looking for them (again).
You're unsure how to feel; it's obvious someone is trying to court you, but it definitely can't be Price because no dragon would go about it like this. But you have to admit it's nice to be desired, regardless how odd the method may be.
Then you notice how Gaz has started acting. . . different. He'll ruffle his feathers and flutter his wings more than usual when you two are alone, purposely stretch more often to make your eyes naturally draw to him, sticking to your side as he talks about everything and anything under the sun.
You're also not a fool. You can figure out it's a harpy's way of trying to show off, but without any open hostility you can only assume he's trying to court you. And you let him, you like his presence and the sound of his voice, the way he gives you a lopsided smile and the way his dark feathers shine like onyx gems when the light hits them juuust right and the way he flushes and stutters when your tail wraps around his leg.
Then one late evening when you're doing paperwork you catch sight of something behind your window in the corner of your eye. Like a flash you're opening the window, your clawed hand gripping Gaz's hand before he can scatter.
Gaz's wings spread out wide, a surprised squawk leaving him as he looks into your slitted eyes. "Uh-, I, eh- Hi?" He says, gulping, his newest gift, a very shiny ruby, held in his hand. But what draws your eye are his dark feathers.
You let out an amused snort, "Hello." You purr, leaning in so your faces are close, enjoying the way he flushes from the proximity. "So you're the little thief that's been visiting me."
Gaz's feather puff up to make his silhouette twice as big, his eyes narrowing, a hurt and angry look spreading across his features. "I'm no thief!" He says, insulted that you'd suggest he can't get you gifts on his own. "I-"
"You are," You hum, reaching out your other hand to hold his jaw, and even with his anger he feels his mind croon at how softly you touch him. "You're in the process of stealing my heart."
"Oh." Is the most intelligent thing he can come up with, his pupils blowing wide like he'd just seen the shiniest thing in his life. "Oh."
"Yes," You shrug and pull your hand back to yank one of your scales out of your shoulder, giving it to him as you take the ruby. "Keep this safe for me, yeah?" You hum and then you let him go, going back to your work while he's left dumbstruck, clutching the scale close to his chest.
When it finally settles in his head that you'd just given him a gift, that you'd reciprocated, and given him a shiny gift, oh he's treating that scale like it's the most precious thing in his world. He keeps it close to him, cooing to it in the privacy of his room, keeping it on his pillow so he can fall asleep with your scent in his nose.
He also doubles down on the gifts, but now he's very open about it, to the point you'll have him randomly come into your office to give you something shiny or another weapon, preening so prettily when you praise the thing he's brought back, nuzzling into your neck and fluffing up his feathers. His heart swoons when you show him the small hoard you've made with all the things he's brought you, and you end up spending the entire evening with him cuddled up to you, chirping happily.
"Hey, can I see that scale I gave you?" You ask after a couple of weeks, curious to see how he's treated it.
"Uh, sure." Gaz can swear his heart's beating like a war drum as he watches you inspect your scale, checking for scratches or cracks.
But you find none, it's still as shiny as the day you'd given it to him. Maybe even shinier.
You smile and before he can do anything you pull him close to you by a hand on his hip. "Very well done, little thief." You hum, kissing him. Gaz melts against you, not even your lips able to muffle the happy chirps and croons that escape his chest.
You spend the next few months getting familiar with each other's bodies, lazy evenings spent with your clawed hands preening his wings, Gaz steadily melting into the bed with every brush of your fingers. Kyle taking a few extra minutes in the morning to rub his face between your wing, chirping and crooning.
Harpy mating season comes around and you're caught off guard when you come to your room to find your covers and pillows and entire wardrobe on the ground, turned into a makeshift nest with a very naked, and very horny, Gaz sitting in the middle of it.
His eyes are hazy but he knows you're there the second your scent hits his nose, the most desperate sound you've ever heard leaving his lips, bruised from how hard he'd been biting them to reign his noises in, to keep them only for you.
"Mate-" Kyle whines, shuffles in the nest that has the pretty gems he'd gifted you strewn amongst the fabric, "-need you, please- I-"
One more needy sound is all it takes to have you tumbling naked into the nest in record time, deep guttural purrs answering his pleased coos. He presses flush against you, seeking out your mouth, whole body burning up and his thighs shaking, his cock rock hard.
"I got you, pretty thief." You rumble, pulling him into your lap, his wings spreading out and feathers puffing up, as if he needs to make himself look even more desirable. "What do you need Kyle?"
"Need you," Kyle whines, pawing at your own erection, desperate fingers shaking as he strokes you, "Please- hurts, I need- mate."
You shush him with sweet kisses, your hand sliding down to very carefully stretch him open while avoiding injuring him with your claws, your mind purring at how willingly he opens up for you, wings and limbs shaking as he whimpers against your lips, his mind steadily leaking from his cock.
"You're alright," You calm him when you pull your fingers out, positioning him so your cock head rests against his entrance, not missing how Kyle preens at your strength. "Going to breed you right, gonna take care of you."
"Yes, yes, yes!" Kyle moans are loud as you steadily push your cock into him, his walls clamping down on every inch of your length. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank- mate." His claws dig into your shoulders, clutching you tight as you bottom out in him, his hole clenching you in sync with his ragged breathing.
"I'm here," You hum, barely able to think, "Just relax, let me take care of you." You say, feeling him relax into you, and with deep purrs and lots of praise you begin to fuck him, moving him like a fleshlight on your cock, letting him moan and groan and scream his heart out uncaring who hears it, your ancient blood singing at the thought of his noises being a testament to your abilities as a mate.
Then the tight heat and the scent and just Kyle has your mind forgetting how to think, your body moving on it's own to show Kyle he'd picked a good mate.
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zxxccx · 14 days
Text
My Roommate's Manipulative Friend
This is a work of fiction. All characters are 18+. Contains male fart fetish content. This is my first story so I hope you enjoy it 🙂
My name is Jeff. One day during junior year of college, I was chilling in my off-campus apartment with my roommate Evan and his friend Matt. I've known Evan since freshman year and we're pretty close. Evan and Matt are childhood friends who grew up and went to high school together. They were both typical surfer/skater bros. I had only met Matt a few times before - his college was kind of far from ours, so he and Evan don't get to hang out as much as they used to. Even though we barely knew each other, I got the sense that he didn't really like me and if we're being honest, the feeling was mutual. On this particular day, there wasn't much going on and we were all pretty bored. Like typical millennials, we were all sitting there separately scrolling on our phones. All of the sudden Matt started chuckling so Evan and I looked up.
E: "What's so funny?”
M: "I was reading through this site that lists random world records and it turns out this guy Bernard Clemens has the record for world's longest fart at 2 minutes and 42 second."
E: "Pfft, I could beat that."
They cracked up. I rolled my eyes and apparently Matt didn't appreciate that.
M: "What's your problem?"
E: "Ignore him, he doesn't think farts are funny."
M: "Are you serious? Farts are fucking hilarious!"
E: "I tried to tell him that, but he's a total prude. I've never even farted in front of him before because I don't want to hear him complain. I just hold in my gas and let it out when he's not around."
M: "That sucks, no man should have to hold in his gas. Everyone should rip loud and proud! One time I even farted in Evan's face."
J: "Gross! Did you puke?"
They both laughed.
E: "Puke? It was only a fart. I swung around and blasted him right back. Don't dish it out if you can't take it."
M: "Ya know Jeff, I'd be happy give you some exposure therapy to help you appreciate farts more."
J: "No thanks. Can we please talk about something else?"
I could tell Matt was enjoying having fun at my expense, but fortunately he relented and changed the subject. He announced that he was starving and that we should all grab food. Evan immediately agreed, but I really wasn't hungry. I was also feeling kind of tired, so I decided to stay back and take a nap.
...
I woke up and felt like something was off. I tried to move and freaked out when I realized I couldn't. I opened my eyes and saw Evan and Matt staring down at me with huge grins. I tried to say something but I couldn't because there was tape over my mouth.
M: "Heyyyyyy. Enjoy your nap?"
E: "I can't, this is too good."
I took a moment to take in my current position. I was laid out with my head on a couch cushion and my lower body being supported by the coffee table. My legs were taped together and my arms were taped to my side. Again, I tried to protest but was only able to produce muffled sounds.
M: "We got a real treat in store for you. Ya see, I've been thinking more about what Evan said earlier about being able to beat the world record farter and thought it would be fun put his gas to the test. The Taco Bell we had for lunch should be more than enough to fuel this challenge, but I figure we need a judge to make sure it's fair and think your virgin nostrils make you the perfect candidate for the job."
Matt had the biggest grin I've ever seen. I felt annoyed that Evan would go along with this idea, but wasn't entirely surprised. While I know Evan didn't actually care about some dumb world record (I think the three of us all knew that it likely wasn't even possible), he's a really competitive guy who's not one to shy away from a challenge. I'm sure Evan only said he could beat the record earlier as a joke, but that was exactly the fodder Matt needed to take advantage of his competitive nature and turn it against me. Evan and I also never pass up on an opportunity to have a little fun at each other's expense, so I'm sure that only made him easier to manipulate in this case.
M: "Now Evan, to confirm, you've never even so much as farted in the same room as Jeff before, right?"
E: "That is correct."
M: "Wow, so that means his first experience with your gas is gonna point-blank. That's rough. As someone who's been blasted by you before, I can say even at a distance it absolutely reeked. I can't imagine how much worse it'll be at ground zero. Let's just say I'm really glad I'm not in his position."
E: "Yeah this is probably gonna be pretty bad. Honestly, I was a bit hesitant to go through with this. I mean farts are funny, but this is taking things to a whole new level. Does anyone really deserve to be subjected to something this disgusting? I wasn't so sure, but then Matt pointed out that this is only a prank and it's all in good fun. Who knows, it might even help you lighten up a bit. And if you think about it, this really is the opportunity of a lifetime for you. I've farted at people several times before, but I've never fully sat on someone's face and let rip. You're gonna get to fully experience my gas in a way that no one has before and possibly never will again. And of all the people who could possibly receive that honor, I'm kind of glad it's you."
Evan looked down at me with an amused smirk. I knew he was mostly just messing with me, but I couldn't believe how far he and Matt were taking this. Knowing that I was gonna be the first person to "fully experience" his gas and that he was glad about it only increased my frustration.
M: "Alright, enough chit chat. Let's get to it. Evan, your throne awaits!"
Matt motioned towards my face. I knew this was my last chance to put a stop to this. If only I could speak, I was confident I'd be able to talk Evan out of this. Unfortunately, I didn't have that luxury. I put up as much of a fight as I could and let out as many muffled please as possible, but they fell on deaf ears. Evan spun around and hovered his ass above my face. Then slowly and tauntingly, he began to sit down. To add insult to injury, he made sure to maintain eye contact with me until he was fully seated and his board short clad ass completely covered my face, enveloping it in warmth.
E: "Wow, he's actually kind of comfy."
He wiggled a little which caused my nose to sink further into his ass and settle right below his asshole. I can't believe my best friend was actually sitting on my face.
M: "This is so awesome! I can't believe we're actually doing this!"
They both laughed. I could feel Evan's body shake when he laughed. I had been holding my breath up until this point but my lungs felt like the were going to give out so I reluctantly gave in and took a breath. Fortunately, Evan's a pretty hygienic guy so it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it still smelled like ass and wasn't exactly pleasant.
E: "Whoa, that felt weird?"
M: "What?"
E: "He just sniffed my ass."
M: "Nice, bet he's loving it! Got any gas in the tank?"
E: "Yeah, feels like the Taco Bell is fully kicking in so I think I'm ready to let rip."
M: "Do it. Blast him!"
I felt Evan start to bear down and push. I braced myself and wondered what I did to deserve this.
PPPPRPTRPTPRPTRPP
The fart vibrated across my face. I felt Evan let out a sigh and relax. I was afraid to breathe.
M: "Is he sniffing?"
E: "Nah, feels like he's holding his breath."
M: "That's no fun, we'll have to fix that."
Before I had time to process what Matt meant by that, he abruptly pushed down hard on my chest forcing the air out of my lungs through my nose. I was furious at him, but it was short lived. My body involuntary took in air to refill my lungs and, as soon as I took in my first breath of Evan's gas, my mind went blank. I had never smelled something so bad in my life and my body was having trouble processing it. Raw sewage would be jealous of the smell. I gave up on holding my breath and started struggling in my bonds in an attempt to try to get away from Evan's ass, but my struggles were in vain. Of course, Evan and Matt found this hilarious.
M: "I don't think he appreciates the stench of your special brew."
E: "Yeah he really seems to be struggling with it."
M: "I guess that means there's only one thing to do..."
E: "Way ahead of you!"
PPPPRTPRTPRPTRPTRPPPPPP
This one was louder and longer. It felt like my skull was rattling. How could they think this was funny? How could Evan do this to me? It felt like the stench of his gas was fully consuming me. I couldn't imagine how this could get any worse, but apparently Matt had other ideas.
M: "Is it just me, or does it feel like he's not fully appreciating your farts?"
E: "What do you mean? You can't possibly expect him to enjoy this."
M: "Maybe not. I just think that since you worked up all this gas for him, he should really be savoring it. None of this holding his breath business or taking shallow breaths to avoid it."
E: "How could we possibly get him to savor my farts?"
M: "Well...what if I tickle him? Then you can blast him and he'll have no choice but to literally huff your gas."
I was surprised not to hear Evan immediately reject this idea. Instead, it seemed like he was actually considering it. I started to aggressively protest, hoping that I could get through to Evan and make him see that this was crazy. However, evidently he couldn't pass up on an opportunity to mess with me more and decided to intentionally misinterpret my pleas.
E: "I appreciate you weighing in Jeff. I was going to say that you had enough and that we should let you go. But it sounds like you're begging us to go ahead with Matt's idea. Don't you agree Matt?"
M: "Oh yeah, it sounds like he's saying that he really wants to get aquatinted with your gas."
E: "Kind of weird Jeff, but if that's what you want we can definitely do that for you. Just know, that if we do this I'm not gonna hold back at all."
I struggled and screamed as much as I could in order to try to let them know I wasn't okay with this. It was no use though. They were clearly enjoying this too much.
E: "Okay, but remember you asked for this..."
Thus began one of the worst experiences of my life. True to his word, Evan did not hold back. He let out a constant barrage of farts and it felt like each one smelled worse than the last. Thanks to Matt's relentless tickling attack on my feet, I was forced to sniff pretty much all of Evan's gas. And, of course, throughout the entire ordeal my face stayed firmly planted in Evan's ass with my nose right at the source. I felt like my brain was melting. Evan's gas was all I could think of - I couldn't fully comprehend just how much of it I had inhaled. I started to forget that fresh air was even a thing. Finally, after what seemed like hours (but realistically was probably only 10 minutes), there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
E: "Alright, that was pretty funny but I think he's had enough."
M: "Aww, come on man this is too good. We could keep this up forever and he wouldn't be able to do anything to stop us.”
E: "Nah, enough is enough. After all, we don't want to permanently destroy his nose."
Evan laughed at his joke, but after what I had been through I wasn't sure if my nose would ever be the same again. If nothing else, I was definitely a lot more familiar with my best friend’s gas than I ever wanted to be. Evan went to get up, but Matt stopped him.
M: "Okay fine, we can call it quits, but one more thing first. Do you still have any gas left in the tank?"
E: "Yeah...but I really think we should let him up now. He's been down there for a while and this was just supposed to be a prank, not actual torture."
Note to self: Evan and I have very different definitions of what constitutes torture.
M: "Totally fair. We can definitely let him up in a minute, I just think we need a grand finale to help seal the deal and ensure this experience is something he'll never forget."
If I could talk, I would say that we're already wayyyyy past that point, but unfortunately fate prevented me from being the voice of reason. Also, couldn't they have this conversation with Evan standing up? Why was he still sitting on my face? Yeah he wasn't currently farting, but I was still being forced to sniff the remnants of his previous farts that had absorbed into his clothes. And he just said he's still feeling gassy, so I was anxious to get him off of me before anymore of his gas found it's way into my nose. Especially since it sounded like Matt was scheming again...
M: "As a final salvo, I think he should have to sniff a couple unfiltered farts from you."
E: "What do you mean?"
M: "I mean full on bareass. No board shorts and no boxers."
My heart skipped a beat. I can't believe Matt would come up with something so disturbing. There must be something genuinely wrong with him. I was about to freak out again, but then it dawned on me. There's no way Evan would go through with this. Sure he's not shy about things like burps and farts, but he's super reserved when it comes to his body. He won't even walk around the apartment in a towel - he always changes in the bathroom when he showers to avoid any accidental exposure. Same when we go to the campus pool, he puts on his bathing suit before we leave to avoid changing in the locker room. There's no way he'd feel comfortable showing off his bare ass. I was about to get in my first win against Matt. The excitement from that realization almost made up for what I just went through. Ok, it actually wasn't even close, but I was still happy about this small victory I was about to be handed.
E: "Ew, no way man! You know I don't like exposing myself and besides shoving his face in my bare ass seems super unsanitary."
M: "Aww come on! It would only be for a few a seconds. One and done!"
E: "I said no! Stop trying to push me man!"
M: "Wow okay. Guess Jeff's not the only one here who's a prude."
E: "You can't be serious. I just ripped ass all over his face. I'm still sitting on his face as we speak. How can you even say I'm a prude?"
M: "Because you're too afraid to reveal your bare ass for a second just for a prank. Haven't you ever heard of mooning? People do it all the time!"
E: "Why are you pushing so hard on this?"
This argument was music to my ears. I could tell Evan was getting pretty frustrated. Now if only he would stand up...
M: "Look man. You need to remember the main reason we're doing this. Yeah it's really funny, but the whole point is to help Jeff lighten up and break barriers. Before today, he wouldn't dream of putting his face anywhere near someone's ass, but now you've been sitting on it for almost a full half hour. Before today, you couldn't even fart near him and now he's literally huffed your gas directly from the source. If he takes some bareass farts from you, think of how high that would set his tolerance. You'd really be doing him a favor."
E: "I don't know. That all sounds pretty stupid."
I'm not sure where Matt was getting this twisted logic from, but Evan didn't sound as frustrated as he did a moment ago. Was this actually working? There's no way...
M: "It at least makes a little bit of sense. If you get it over with real quick, then it will be done and I'll stop nagging you about it. Come on man! Do it, you won't!"
My heart sank. I can't believe Matt went there. As I said, Evan's not one to back down from a challenge. The phrase "Do it, you won't" is like his kryptonite. I've used it on him plenty of times. He almost always follows through just to prove that he's not a wimp and can do the thing in question. But surely this was a bridge too far, right? After a bit of hesitation, I got my answer...
E: ".......Fine. Okay, I'll do it. But you have to look away and Jeff has to close his eyes. He may have to smell my ass, but that doesn't mean either of you have to see me naked."
M: "Really dude? You're not gonna be naked. It's just gonna be your ass."
E: "You want me to do this, we're gonna do it on my terms."
M: "Alright, fair enough. Let's do it."
I started to struggle and complain again, but Matt wasn't having it.
M: "Enough! I'm tired of your whining. We're doing this and there's nothing you can do about it. So just shut up and take it."
Evan finally stood up, but I knew this ordeal wasn't over yet. He put his hands on the waist of his board shorts.
E: "Okay, Jeff close your eyes and Matt turn around."
Evan looked at us to ensure we complied. I saw Matt turn around. I figured if I kept my eyes open, maybe he wouldn't go through with it.
E: "Come on, close your eyes so we can get this over with."
M: "Jeff if you're gonna be a dick about this and make Evan uncomfortable, then we'll just have him keep his clothes on, sit on your face, and blast you for the rest of the day. Is that what you want?"
Wow, as if I'm somehow the one in the wrong here. But that's definitely not what I wanted. I also didn't want me face shoved in his bare ass though. Still, I wanted this to be over as fast as possible and avoid prolonging it, so I reluctantly complied. I started to brace myself for what was about to happen, but Matt had other plans. All of the sudden, I felt fingers on each of my eyelids and my eyes were pried open. He gave me a look that told me I'd regret it if I said anything so I remained quiet. Unlike the first time Evan sat on my face, he didn't look back at me this time. I guess he was a little embarrassed by what he was about to do and didn't want to see my face. This meant that he was completely unaware of Matt's latest scheme. Interestingly enough, even though he was holding my eyes open, Matt continued facing away from Evan. I guess even though he was determined to make sure I got to see Evan's ass in all its glory, he had no desire to see it himself. Without any fanfare, Evan slowly lowered the back of his board shorts and boxers, and there it was: his bare ass. He definitely had quite the bubble butt. Aside from a thin layer of fuzz, his ass was mostly hairless.
M: "Don't forget to spread your cheeks so you can get him in their nice and deep."
Evan complied. His crack was slightly hairier than his cheeks and his asshole was now staring back at me. Then, he started to sit down. This seemed impossible on today of all days, but I really felt that I had sunk to a new low. When Matt heard Evan start to sit, he removed his fingers from my eyelids. I closed my eyes but the damage was done. I couldn't believe I'd been forced to see my best friend's ass and asshole against both our wills. The image would be forever burned into my brain and no one could take this moment back for me. I was temporarily distracted though when I felt Evan settle onto my face. He let go of his cheeks and they closed around mine. My nose was touching his asshole.
E: "I don't like this. I can feel his nose touching my hole."
M: "Bet it's not great on his end either. Jeff, do me a favor and take a nice big sniff of Evan's asshole."
I told him that wasn't gonna happen as best I could through the gag. He seemed to get the message.
M: "Do it or I'll press down on Evan's shoulders and send you even deeper into his ass."
I definitely didn't want that to happen. My nose was already touching his asshole, I didn't need to be any deeper. So, I gave in and took a big sniff. The minute I did, I regretted it. Unsurprisingly, it smelled like shit. I started gagging and struggling. Matt laughed.
M: "Yeah, I bet it smells pretty bad down there. Sucks to be you!"
E: "Could we get this over with already?"
M: "Ok yeah, sure. Now Jeff, here's how this is gonna work. You're gonna breathe out fully and then I'm gonna count backwards from five. When I get to one, Evan's gonna let rip and you're gonna start inhaling as hard as you can. And you better keep inhaling for the full duration of the fart. And before you start freaking out again, you should know that I took some pics of Evan sitting on your face before when he still had his clothes on. If you refuse to do this, I will post those pics online and tell everyone you begged to sniff Evan's farts. Evan will back me up, so no one will believe you if you try to say I'm lying. Right Evan?”
I tried to plead with Evan as best I could.
E: “Sorry Jeff. I feel like this is super weird for both of us, but you're just gonna have to do it. You’ve made me do some gross things in the past - remember when you dared me to eat that box of freeze dried crickets? Think of this as payback for that. I know it's not fully equivalent, but we all have to do things we don't wanna do from time to time. Besides, I have a real whopper brewing right now and I kind of want you to take it.”
M: “Then it's settled. Deep breath out Jeff.”
Feeling like I had no other choice, I did what I was told.
M: “Ok, ready? Breathe in on one. 5…4…3…2…1…”
PRBTPPPTBTPPRTBTPBTRPPBTssssssssss
Evan was right. This one was a whopper. I felt his asshole vibrating against my nose. I lost count of how long it lasted…but I do know it ended with a silent his. And I inhaled the whole thing. As soon as I finished inhaling, my body started shaking. This was by far the worst thing I had ever experienced. I felt defiled. Matt was besides himself with laughter and even Evan was cracking up a bit.
M: “Dude that was sick! I can't believe he just huffed a fart out of your bare asshole.”
E: “Yeah that was definitely disgusting. Are we done now?”
M: “One more and then we let him up. Sound good?”
E: “Fineeeee.”
I was numb at this point and just ready for this whole thing to be over. What's one more fart? It's not like it can be any worse than anything I'd already endured. Unfortunately, I spoke to soon. I should have known better than to tempt fate. This time, when Evan farted, we both got more than we bargained for and I felt a little something squirt out onto my nose. That's right, this last fart was wet. That was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was done. I immediately started convulsing and going back and forth between screaming and gagging. Evan immediately realized what happened too. He jumped up, pulled up his shorts and boxers to cover his ass, and ran to the bathroom. Matt turned around and looked confused. He called out to Evan in the bathroom.
M: “What happened?”
E: “I accidentally sharted…”
M: “You sharted on his nose? That's the best thing I ever heard!”
Evan returned from the bathroom.
E: “Seriously dude? I can't believe that happened.”
M: “Are you sure it was a shart?”
E: “Dude, I'm telling you that fart was wet.”
M: “I know, but look at his face. There's nothing on his nose. It's not brown.”
E: “Really? That's odd, when I went to clean up in the bathroom, the toilet paper was clean too…”
M: “Damn, that means it wasn't a shart then, just a wet fart. Probably just sweat or generic ass juice.”
E: “Well that's a relief!”
M: “Yeah I guess…”
E: “Why do you sound disappointed? You actually would have preferred if I did shart on him?”
M: “Yeah man. That would have been fucking hilarious! Icing on the cake.”
E: “You're sick man! Whatever let's just get this tape off him. This has gone far enough!”
Right as Evan was about to start untaping me, his phone vibrated.
E: “Damn it! I totally forgot that I committed to meeting my lab partner today to finish our physics lab.”
M: “Can't it wait?”
E: “I wish, but today's the only day we both have free to work on it before it's due. Sorry to do this to you guys, but I really need to get this done. Can you take care of freeing him?”
M: “Yeah sure!”
E: “Ok cool. Thanks for being such a good sport Jeff. Once you're out you can get cleaned up and then we can hang later and put this whole thing behind us. I'll be back in a few hours.”
And with that Evan left and I was alone with Matt.
M: “Well I think we both know I have no intention of letting you go now that Evan's gone. Not when your face looks so comfy. Plus, I ate Taco Bell too and haven't had a chance to release my gas.”
I tried to tell him off but it wasn't very effective.
M: “Thanks for reminding me. We need to do something about your gag. Your pathetic complaining is getting annoying.”
Matt walked away and came back later with something in his hand.
M: “Earlier when we decided to gag you, I wanted to stuff something in your mouth. Evan thought that was too far so we just used tape and left your mouth empty. But…Evan's not here now and I think I found the perfect thing. This sock was buried in Evan's hamper and smells pretty gnarly. Here take a whiff.”
He turned it inside out and pressed it against my nose. I hesitantly took a whiff and it smelled awful - like old cheese. Matt was very amused by my reaction.
M: “Yeah it's pretty bad isn't it. Bet it tastes worse…”
With that he ripped the tape off my mouth and I breathed through my mouth for the first time in ages. I knew I had to reason with him.”
J: “Please Matt, can't you just let me go? Haven't I suffered enough?”
M: “No chance! I'm not gonna waste this prime opportunity.”
J: “But…why? Why are you doing this to me?”
M: “Because I can. And because it's fucking funny. Now enough talking, open wide and get ready to taste Evan's gross sock!”
I clamped my mouth shut but Matt was unphased. He simply pinched my nostrils shut. Soon my need for air overcame me and I had to open my mouth to breathe. As soon as that happened, Matt shoved the inside-out sock in my mouth and taped it shut again. Evan's sock tasted awful. This was the worst! In one day I not only got more acquainted with his ass than I ever could have imagined but I also learned what his foot tastes like. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to look at him the same way again.
M: “Yeah suck on that sock. I bet it tastes awful! Now that that's taken care of, it's time to get down to business. I'm not as nice as Evan, so I hope you're ready for a rough ride.”
Without any further ado, Matt pulled down the back of his board shorts and boxers and slammed his bare ass onto my face. He spread his cheeks and wiggled around to get me as deep as possible. My nose actually slipped inside his asshole. The smell was unbearable. His ass was hairier than Evan's and smelled stronger too.
M: “Perfect. Got you right where I want you. The Taco Bell is hitting hard, so you're in for a good time!”
He started farting nonstop. I was in hell. This torture went on for so long that I lost track of time. Apparently Matt did too, because when Evan got back a few hours later, Matt was still sitting on my face. Evan was pissed and they got into a heated argument. Evan let me go and I slinked away and took the longest shower of my life.
After I got out, Evan apologized profusely to me. He said he knows they took things too far and that if I was willing to forgive him, he'd never do anything like this again and go back to holding in his farts around me. Today aside, Evan was genuinely a good friend and I knew this whole thing was mostly Matt's fault. So, I decided to forgive him. I also told him that he didn't have to hold in his gas around me anymore. After what I went through today, I could tolerate the occasional fart here and there as long as my face was nowhere near his ass when it happened.
I asked where Matt was and apparently he decided to go back to his dorm after their argument. Him and Evan did eventually make up, but he never apologized for what he put me through. I was happy to have things relatively go back to normal with Evan though. Sure I noticed his ass a lot more than I used to. And anytime he did fart, the smell brought back flashbacks of this awful day. But the worst was behind me now…or so I thought. Turns out that Matt wasn't done with me. He had gotten a taste of using Evan to torture me and was hungry for more. I didn't know it now, but Matt was going to make sure that I was more familiar with my best friend's body than any one person should be. If I thought Evan's farts were bad, I had another thing coming…
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sunny44 · 10 months
Text
All these years (Part 9)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex girlfriend Reader
Warnings: none
Summary: Separated by a disagreement, Charles and Y/n meet again after years apart and all the feelings they had repressed come flooding back.
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
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Ten months after the last chapter
This was the first night I managed to sleep properly.
Today, our baby turns 1 month old.
Matilda Leclerc was as smiley as Charles, and the dimples were identical.
I carried her for 9 months, felt every pain for her to be born, just like him.
And speaking of Charles, I could hear his baby voice speaking softly to her as I lay in bed with my eyes closed.
"Do you know you're daddy's love? And that I'll take care of you forever?" she made some noises with her mouth. "Your mom is jealous that you look like me, but I honestly love that. I love you, you know, love your little eyes, chubby feet, and your baby smell. I love you even when you're all messy."
"Good to know." I say, looking at him. "You'll be in charge of the messy diapers now."
"I can do that." we hear a little fart, and he laughs.
"I think you'll have to start now."
"Well then." he gets up and leaves the room, and I brush my teeth and decide to go to her room. "Babe, come here."
"Problems?"
"I don't know if I'm doing it right." I see that the diaper is all crooked, making me laugh. "Don't laugh at me."
"Sorry, love. But you're doing a great job. Don't worry."
"Guide me."
"Okay, she's already clean, and the diaper is already positioned on her bum, so now you grab the front flap and pull it up." he does. "Now, open the tabs and fasten them in the front."
He does it slowly and fastens the last tab, then strokes her little tummy, and she giggles, making Charles's eyes fill with tears.
"Did you see that she laughed at me?"
"I saw, love." I hugged him from the side.
He finished putting on the onesie that said "I'm daddy's baby," which Charles had bought the day after we found out I was pregnant.
"Okay, I'll finish packing their bags so we can go to Arthur's."
Arthur and Megan are living in Milan for a few months to help us with the baby and we were going to visit them. It would be the first time everyone would meet her. Our parents followed the pregnancy, but during the delivery, there was a snowstorm here, so they couldn't catch the flights to come. And since today is her first month, we're all going to meet to celebrate.
In the first month, we didn't go out much with her. I think the fear that something might happen was greater, and I think all first-time parents have that fear.
"I'll take a shower, and then we can go."
I took a shower, did a quick makeup, and put on warm clothes since it was winter in Monaco.
"Look at this." he appears excited with Matilda dressed in a mini Ferrari uniform. "Look at how my baby is."
"She looks just like you on race weekends." he laughs. "Can we go?"
"We can." he hands her to me and takes the bags.
I locked the apartment door, and we went to the car, and obviously, Charles went straight to the Ferrari, a track that I started to hate since we had it.
"Let's not go in this death machine." he looks at me offended.
"My baby is not a death machine."
"Your baby is here on my lap, and I'm not going to put her in that car, which besides not having a back seat, is not safe."
"Okay." he gives up, and we go to my Range Rover."
My car and his two cars have a car seat for her since it was good for emergencies, and in fact, I haven't bought any since my parents, his parents, and Arthur and Carla gave them.
Matilda was the most spoiled child in the world, I think.
"Well strapped." he kisses her forehead and sits in the driver's seat. "Let's go."
The journey was composed of Matilda's cries and children's songs on the playlist that Charles had made for her on his Spotify account.
We arrived at Arthur's apartment and took all the luggage and went to the door. Charles had put her securely in the baby carrier on his chest so we could carry everything. She had fallen asleep and was covered with a blanket, her little face leaning against his chest.
When I tried to put her to sleep, it only worked when Charles wasn't home, but when he was, she only slept in his arms.
"We're here, family." he says somewhat loudly, and everyone comes running. "We know this rush is not for us."
"Yeah." I laughed, and we greeted everyone who went straight to Charles and Matilda.
"She's so beautiful." says stroking her thin hair. "She looks just like Charles."
"Don't say that near Y/n, or she'll ask for a divorce." I rolled my eyes, and they laughed.
Speaking of which, we got married. A few months after I found out I was pregnant.
We decided we didn't want a very big party, so we got married at the courthouse and had a little party for the family later, where we announced that we would be parents.
"She's a copy of Charles, literally." they look at me. "From the noises when they're sleeping to the stubbornness."
"I'm not stubborn, you liar."
"Yes, you are."
Soon, she started crying, and Charles took her out of the carrier and handed her to me. She hadn't breastfed before leaving home, so she woke up because of that.
"Someone is hungry." my mom says, and I sat on the couch.
The boys went to the kitchen to get something to drink, and I started breastfeeding Matilda while the girls sat around.
"How's it been? I mean, being a mother."
"It's great, to be honest. It's tiring at first, especially since none of us had experience with this, but we're doing well. She's very calm."
"That's great. Charles was the calmest of the three."
"Y/n was calm too and hardly caused any trouble."
"The only trouble she gives is when it's time to sleep. When Charles is away, she even sleeps with me, but as soon as she senses when he gets home, she wakes up. And when we're together, she only sleeps in his arms." they look, dying of love. "She'll finish here, and even though she's sleepy, Charles will have to take her."
"She's very attached to him, apparently."
"Yes, a clingy one." Matilda finishes, and I hand her over to Pescale, who said she wanted to fix her.
This was another funny topic. She always vomited on Charles, who surprisingly started laughing, and Matilda giggled along with him.
"Is she done already?"
"She's with your mom." I point, and Charles goes to his mom and takes her.
"Charles." she scolds him when he takes her.
"She's my baby, not yours." he says and leaves, making me laugh.
"Is he always like this?"
"Yes, even with me, but then I say that I carried and gave birth, and then he pouts and hands her over to me." they laugh. "He's very attached to her and doesn't leave her side. She grumbles to cry, and he runs to wherever she is."
"He's adorable."
We talked a little more, and I decided to go to the guest room, where I saw Charles passing with her a few minutes ago. I stopped at the door and watched them.
Charles swayed her slowly and murmured something. I approached him, and he smiled, then gently put her in the middle of several pillows, gave her a little kiss on the head, and hugged me from behind as we watched her sleep.
"I love you. And thank you for giving me her." he whispers in my ear, and I smile, snuggling more into his embrace.
"And thank you for not giving up on me."
He kissed my forehead, and we stayed there, watching our baby sleep.
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Bonus scene!
Yourusername Instagram post
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Liked by @charlesleclerc, @leclercpescale, @scuderiaferrari and others 84479
@yourusername this past year has been the best of my life.
I’ve married the love of my life, gave birth to our beautiful baby girl and I feel like I’ve never been happier.
Thank you @carlesleclerc for being the best hubby for me and the best daddy for our daughter.
@charlesleclerc I’m the lucky one to have you in my life and thank you for giving me our baby girl
@yourusername we love you 😘
@lorenzotl baby M is so cute
@fan753 her names starts with an M guys 🥲
@yourusername we love you uncle L
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Note: thank you guys so much for liking this story and also a big thank you to all the 1.004 followers ❤️
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teaboot · 2 years
Text
Fun fight things I never see in fight scenes:
You are giving me important information from the sidelines and I can't hear you because my entire head inside this man's armpit
We are fighting and it is important that I focus on winning but I am hesitant to pull this maneuver because doing it puts me in danger of accidentally grabbing a dick or a titty
Someone's hand slipped up a shirt or down a waistband for a sec and we're both gonna pretend it didn't until we die
Dude you just got drool like all fucking over my face just now what the fuck
Okay I get that you're about to snap my neck with your thighs but also you totally just farted a bit which is reasonable considering the position we're in but still oh my God
If the last thing I experience on earth before I die is your ass in my face I'm going to drag you to hell with me
Someone is trying to give me advice right now and if they don't shut the fuck up I'm gonna kill them
I know the perfect maneuver to get out of this but if I go for it I'm definitely gonna dislocate my shoulder and I haven't decided if I want the win that bad yet
I just heard my knee pop and either it's fine or I'm going to spend the next six months in physical therapy and be in pain for the rest of my life
I thought I walked away from that ok but it's three in the morning and I just woke up out of a dead sleep because one of my limbs just started screaming
"You should ice that" Is the physical injury version of "Well its gotta be around here somewhere"
AW YEAH DID YOU SEE THAT I PULLED THAT SO SMOOTH IM SO GOOD IM KICKING ASS RIGHT NOW And ah fuck he got me
Hey bud you wanna maybe stop watching and lend me a fucking hand maybe
I Am Between You And Very Upset Person And If You Keep Pissing Them Off Then I Am Going To Get Stabbed
Nobody Expects To Get Licked
Oh God dude you smell so bad. Like you smell SO bad
Okay so like. I WOULD fight you but tbh you're actually super gross and I sort of don't wanna touch you. What is that stain from? You know what I don't wanna know, I don't wanna think about it
You are giving me important information from the sidelines but are missing some critical details that I cannot explain right now and you're getting frustrated that I'm not listening and I'm getting frustrated that you're angry at me for not doing something that will break both my arms at the same time
Sweetheart I love you to the moon and back but cheering me on is actually very distracting and I'm gonna need you to stop right now exactly right now please and thank you so so much baby PLEASE
Why do I smell like them now. Oh God I need a shower
WAS THAT A FUCKING BOOGER WHAT THE FUCK EW EW EW EW EW
haha nice underwear dipshit lol
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gassyandnasty · 3 months
Note
Since you are writing the backstage series, can you make one of Henry Cavill?
I'd love to see him burping in his fan's face, forcing him to sniff his armpits and butt
Backstage - Henry Cavill
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Oh, Henry... needless to say that he is everybody's dream, but he is very hard to find, and those big studios aren't easy to sneak on, but I had my way.
I started to hear that he was having a lot of trouble with the costume department, so they were hiring more people to take care of this problem. When I got into the studio to do an interview, a guy with teary eyes, coughing his way out approached me:
"Are you applying for the costume department?" He said between coughs.
"Yeah...I-" he didn’t let me finish.
"Take this" he handed me his credentials and said, "I can't take this any second if this anymore."
He left while I didn't question all the chaos, after all, I was going to meet Henry Cavill!
I came into his trailer and saw him getting ready to shoot. The guy who ran out of here must have been helping him, since he is standing on a pedestal trying to fit into a spandex suit.
"Might you... help me with this?" Henry requested and I froze. Was I going to finally touch all of that body?
I couldn't resist, I approached and started my amateur service, soon I saw why he needed help, that suit was really tight. His upper body was bare because his suit wouldn't pass his thighs.
"Okay... raise your arms." I commanded and he didnt question. There was no reason for this, only for admiring his hairy pits. They were sweaty from the effort of trying to put this on.
"Uhm... how much am I going to stay in this position?" Henry asked.
"Oh I'm just calculating your measures so I can try to fix..."
"No need, this suit was made for me months ago, but they asked for me to reshoot on MY vacations, I'm not skipping my barbecues and burguers for that."
"Oh... I see..." I signalize for him to put his arms down as I take advantage to measure his chest, and yeah... it was made of STEEL, but just to hide my obvious amusement, I asked:
"And how are you planning to fit in this?"
I heard Henry laughing as he stopped to pat his belly. Indeed, some fat featured his ripped muscles, which made him even more delicious.
"I'm a little bloated, so I'll have to let some out..." when he pat his belly again, it stirred something within, and he ripped a deep and gurgly belch on my face:
OOOOOOoooooooooooooUUUUUUUUUUUU888RRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPP!!
It exploded on my face, and smelt like burguers. He ripped with no shame, as his expression changed to relief.
"Aaaahh, I think I'm lighter after this." Henry laughed at my coughing fit. "Try to pull the suit up again.
I was a little shocked, but I crouched down to do what he said, at least I was not in the line of his burps again.
With all my force, I managed to pull his suit past his thighs, and now Im stuck at his ass. I think his cheeks are bigger than my head, soft yet strong, but aren't yielding even a little for the spandex.
"Oh, I wouldn't crouch down over there if I was you buddy! Haha" I could hear henry say from above. As I could feel he grabbing the back of my head even closer to his ass.
PBPBPBPBPPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBBBBBBBFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT
He ripped a beast of a fart on my face, making it rumble and jiggle with the force of his cheeks. I fell down into another fit as he was laughing. Somebody came in.
"You are late, and what's that smell? Eww..." I could hear another assistant.
"I'm trying to deflate to fit into the suit" Henry says with a shit-eating grin as he fans behind his ass.
"We dont have time for that, stinky. Just come out that we put cgi all over it. Geez...." they left as I felt light-headed.
CGI? So I didn't have to take those bombs in the face....
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thrushforreal · 4 months
Text
I threw names in a quote generator again!
Duke: Do dragons fart fire?
Trace: I don't know
Duke: I thought you went to college?
~~~~
Cass: I reserve the right to judge a movie based on when it was made, thank you very much
Babs: You consider everything made before 2000 old and bad
Cass: And I reserve that right! After all...
Cass: I bet you wouldn't like the average movie made in 1879!
Babs: There were no movies made in 1879
Cass: *slams table* WRONG! There was ONE movie made in 1879! The first movie! A zoopraxioscope of a horse galloping!
Duke: Oooh! Let's ask Dick if he saw it in theatres!
~~~~
Duke: If you really want to get back at a man, scare him with a pregnancy test. I've got a whole box of old positives back at my house.
Steph: You're an American treasure.
~~~~
Trace: I'm going to get myself some soup
Babs: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot
Trace: Pfft, I won't burn myself
*30 seconds later*
Trace, entering the room: I burned myself
~~~~
Tim: You know what I've learned from my friendship with Jason?
Trace: There's no such thing as too mean?
Duke: Never let your family know for sure if you like them?
Dick: Always hold a grudge?
~~~~
Jason: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed.
Jason: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it
Jason: But who's to say
Duke: I think France isn't real
Tim: Duke, you've been to France
Duke: And???
~~~~
Babs: Yesterday, I overheard Damian saying, "Are you sure this is a good idea?" And Duke replying "Trust me," and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.
~~~~
Steph: Arson? Oh, you mean "crime brûlée"
~~~~
Steph: *in a jail cell* What about my Miranda rights!? You're supposed to say I have 'the right to remain silent'! NOBODY SAID I HAD THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!
Duke: *in the cell next to her* You have the right to remain silent, what you lack is the capacity.
~~~~
Tim: As a responsible adult
Steph: *chuckles*
Tim: ... As a responsible adult—
~~~~
Dick: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?
Cass: Your life?
Dick: I- well, yes, but-
~~~~
Damian: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Steph: I almost died
Damian: That...was my favorite memory.
~~~~
And that's all for now!
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treason-and-plot · 7 months
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“Very funny, Dipshit,” says Joël. “I wouldn’t say no to lunch though, as long as you’re paying. Money’s a bit tight at the moment. Is the venue toddler-friendly?”
“I wanted to go to that new seafood restaurant down on the waterfront,” says Roy. “It’s a restaurant for grown-ups, dude. Can’t Neets look after Alice for a few hours?”
“Anita is a little bit under the weather,” says Joël. “She’s probably going to spend most of the day in bed.”
Roy snickers. “Yeah, she was already slurring a bit when I left.“
“You were at the Prosper Room yesterday?” says Joël.
“Yeah, I went there for lunch with my mate Alec and we ran into Neets and Renee as soon as we walked in. Jesus Christ, how much Botox do you reckon Renee’s had? If she ever tried to frown she’d probably fart. Anyway, Alec started buying everyone drinks because he had the hots for the bartender, except I couldn’t stay for long because I had to go to a meeting with Amex. Alec said he put Anita in a taxi around 3 pm. Did she get home okay?”
“Kind of. Saffy’s boyfriend had to pull her out of the hydrangeas. And then she passed out on the bedroom floor-”
“Saffy’s boyfriend? What? Do you mean to tell me Saffy has a boyfriend? First Celine, now Saffy…why the fuck didn’t you tell me Saffy had a boyfriend?”
“I only found out for sure myself yesterday,” says Joël. “What business is it of yours, anyway?”
“I’m her Godfather, dude. Of course it’s my business,” says Roy.
“What the f....you’re not Saffy’s Godfather. Get real.”
“Well, if the position’s open, I think I should be the one to fill it. I’m happy to be Godfather to Alice and Jared, too,” says Roy. “They can call me God for short. I'm totally okay with that. You can call me God too, if you want."
"Shut up."
"You shut up."
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tuskicles · 8 months
Text
My brain decided to think about me having a sloppy make out session as I'm just grinding into a cute guy's thigh, or crotch so that I can feel him get hard. Then he looks at me in the eyes as I just feel him farting just to make me hornier.
Also a little add on where it could be slightly altered but... maybe a guy could like position himself on top of my lap where we're still kissing passionately, my arms starting off as them being wrapped around him. Then the guy could just grab both of my hands and place them on his ass- bare or not- and then he lets me feel how hard his ass vibrates against my clit while he's just gassing me out. Also provided with him cupping my face and pulling his lips to mine just so that he could let out a rumbling, deep burp into my mouth.
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thegnomelord · 6 months
Note
ooohh I love the idea of alpha gaz actually. Especially with his dynamic with price because price is kind of like his role model sometimes and he's a much older and more experienced guy that's used to being in leadership positions. Gaz is younger and somewhat looks up to price and has never been in a position to tell other people what to do, so to have that flipped in the bedroom and have omega price and alpha gaz is not what most people would expect them to be. It makes their relationship more interesting. And gaz especially would be a good alpha because he's not a hothead and can keep control of himself more than most other alphas can. And I mean we've already had omega Gaz fics so it would be nice to switch it up this time (not if you don't want to. Just ideas)
Hm that's a good point and a cool dynamic idea too :Dd, as I'm not all that certain if I'm gonna even do abo so here's a quick experimental brain fart with Alpha Gaz/omega Price/alphaHound
CW:NSFW, this is more or less when Hound has mostly been rehabed and is more confident about intimacy. Not all too happy about it but it's a good enough example of how I'd incorporate the abo dynamic. Tell me what ya'll think lol
Price looks like he's run a marathon, huffing and puffing more than a racehorse as he settles in his nest. Of course his heat had to hit a whole 2 weeks earlier than it was supposed to, leading him to make a makeshift nest out of whatever he had in his closet and what the lads gave him. You'd think with him getting on in age his heats would slow down and lessen in intensity, but it seemed like his body was out to get him with his heats remaining the same as they had been when he first joined the military.
At least he's got two alphas able to help him through it.
Gaz doesn't have an overpowering scent like most alphas, but the smell of an omega in the first stages of heat will have any alpha's scent glands going into overdrive. The heady smell of nutmeg and beeswax spreads through the room, mixing with Price's own mint and blackberry scent that's been turned sweeter from his heat, as Kyle tentatively gets in the nest, fumbling with his belt like he's a teenager while he nuzzles his nose into Price's sweaty neck.
"Kyle I swear on the queen if you don't pick up the pace." Price hisses but the edge in his words are dulled by the soft purrs coming from his chest.
"Sorry sir," Kyle mumbles as he rubs his skin against Price's, somehow managing to end up between Price's spread legs, his fingers pushing into his slick hole. "I just- you smell so good."
"Eager whelp." You huff a small laugh as Price groans. Your own movements are slower, more measured, your scent muskier thanks to your age. You feel Kyle's hackles raise as you settle behind him, your body so, so much larger than his. But the low rumbling chuffs you make has him calming down just a bit, enough to not notice when your hand grips his wrist, two of your fingers sliding in along his and curling. "Move your hand like this, you'll get him wet in seconds."
Price moans as your curling fingers brush against the spongy spot inside him, his cock leaking a few drops of pre against his stomach. "As if you weren't the same." Price chuckles, holding Kyle by the scruff so he can pull him down into a sloppy kiss. "First time you helped Simon with his heat you barely lasted a minute before you shot your lil lads like a virgin."
Gaz doesn't know how either of you have enough sense in your heads left to think let alone talk when he feels like his brain is melting through his dick. Your scents curl in his nose and he whines, so hard it hurts him as he feels Price clench and relax around his fingers. He sobs his muffled 'thank you's into Price's neck when you deem Price prepped enough, a firm hand on his cock guiding him inside that tight heat.
Kyle's hips try to snap up to sheathe himself inside his omega on instinct, a low and pitiful grownly whine leaving him when you hold him steady with only his tip inside that tight heat.
"Go slow." You chastise him, one large hand on his hip to keep Gaz still while the other slides down to hold him by his knot. "Wouldn't want you to cum too soon, right?" When Kyle nods dumbly you slowly push on his hips until he's almost all the way inside Price, a small slap on his flank getting Kyle to rock his hips in a way you hope Price still likes.
"Lad- you-" Your name sounds like an angel's choir on Price's lips, his head falling back. Kyle takes that time to lay kisses and hickeys across his neck. "So good to me boys." Price slurs, eyes closing and enjoying the stretch of his walls around Kyle's cock, the pleasure and small hints of pain scratching that gnawing heat in his blood.
"Careful now Kyle," You hum and let go of his cock when he picks up the pace you want him to have, his ass grinding against your cock every time he pulls out to thrust back into Price. "I'll need to show you how to fuck properly if you lack the skills."
You can see why Price picked him to be the team's alpha. Most knotheaded whelps would have been up at arms for even the mere suggestion of taking a cock up the ass, yet by the sharpening of Kyle's scent you can he likes the idea.
"I wouldn't mind that." Kyle shoots back, and his surprising words get a pleased rumble out of you. "Yeah, you like that big man- fuck- hah-" the teasing list in his voice is lost as he moans, the smooth glide of his cock into Price and the lewd sound of omega slick squelching every time he moves making heat burn in his veins.
He shivers as your massive body presses further against his back, pinning him between you and Price and forcing his cock to go deeper with every thrust. "Good." You rumble against his neck, the cold metal plating your canines pressing against his skin as you gently nibble on his neck only working to further stoke the burning heat in his body. "Because I'm finding you lacking."
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zxxccx · 3 days
Text
Fumigation Part 2
This is a work of fiction. All characters are 18+. Contains male fart fetish content.
I was jolted awake by the smell of rotten eggs assaulting my nose. My friend was squatting over me laughing. It's times like these that made me think getting an apartment together after college was a mistake. Yes splitting rent made things more affordable, but at what cost? I couldn't even take a nap on the couch without putting myself at risk of falling victim to his gassy ass. He knew I hated his gas, but he farted on me anyway. He knew anytime I smelled his farts it brought me back to the traumatic prank he played on me, but that only seemed to make him want to fart on me more.
After school ended, he went into the fumigation business full-time. He was apparently so good at it that the owner of the company he had been working at part-time during college offered him a full-time position as soon as classes ended and before we even officially graduated. Of course he gladly accepted. I, on the other hand, went the more traditional route of going through a painful job search before finally getting an offer for a job tangentially related to my major. The work was mostly menial, but it was remote and the pay was decent so I really couldn't complain. It was nice to have to house to myself for most of the day and be free from my friend's gas.
Working remotely was nice, because it allowed me to flex my schedule and take breaks/naps as needed, which is exactly what I was trying to do before my friend so rudely awoke me. Apparently he forgot his lunch so he stopped home to grab it between job sites. He saw me napping on the couch and couldn't resist. I groaned.
Me: “Don't you need to save your gas for work?”
Him: “Nah, I have plenty to go around - more than enough for work and to blast you whenever I want.”
Me: “Why do you do this to me? You know I hate it.”
Him: “You just answered your own question.
Me: “You do it because I hate it?”
Him: “Duh. It wouldn't be as fun if you didn't.”
He laughed. I didn't think it was funny.
Him: “Anyway, I better head out and get back to work. The termites aren't going to exterminate themselves and I can't afford to slack off now. The company retreat is coming up and rumor has it that I'm a shoo-in for the employee of the year award.”
Me: “Employee of the year, really? Don't you just fart into an A/C and have it blow your gas around? How do they even decide who does that the best?”
Him: “You underestimate me. I haven't had to use an A/C on a job site for ages now. All my training and diet changes have really increased my gut strength and helped ensure maximum fart output. I'm one of the few employees that can gas out an entire house just by letting rip into the vents - no A/C or other assistance needed.”
Me: “BS! Your gas may be powerful, but no one can fully gas out an entire house by themselves. You have to be using a fan or something to help spread your gas around. It would take too long otherwise and you'd lose business.”
Him: “Is that so? Why don't you take the afternoon off and come with me to the next job site and see for yourself?”
Me: “Nice try. I'm never going near another one of your job sites, not after what happened last time.”
Him: “I'm serious! Why not put your money where your month is? I could make it worth your while.”
Me: “What do you have in mind?”
Him: “We make it a bet. If I can gas out the entire house with no assistance or aides like I said, then I win. If not, then you win. You can be there to observe and make sure I don't cheat.”
Me: “What do I get if I win?”
Him: “I give in and won't fart around you anymore.”
Me: “For how long?”
Him: “Forever.”
Me: “And what do you get if you win?”
Him: “You have to shove your face in my ass and inhale my farts directly from the source for 10 minutes.”
Me: “Dude that's brutal. That would absolutely suck!”
Him: “Obviously. You're not supposed to get off easy if you lose.”
Me: “……so you would really never fart around me again if I win.”
Him: “I'm a man of my word. I've never welched on a bet before.”
Me: “How big is the house you have to fumigate?”
Him: “Pretty big……”
Me: “………ok, you're on!”
And with that, off to the job site we went.
When we got there my friend started to get set up. He was right about the size of the house. I noticed that instead of the harness he had last time that filtered his gas into the A/C using a hose, he had a new harness that hooked right into the air intake vent that would allow him to create an airtight seal between the vent and his ass. This got me a little worried, but I was still confident that I would win. There's no way a single person could fill an entire house with gas, especially one this big. He finished getting his harness set up and said there was one thing left to do before starting the fumigation. Before I could ask what it was, he picked up his tool bag with one hand and hoisted me over his shoulder with the other. I protested and asked what he was doing, but he didn't answer. Instead he carried me right into the house. I tried to wriggle out of his grip, but he was stronger than me and was able to prevent me from getting away. At this point I knew exactly what he was planning and I was pretty pissed. He put me down at the bottom of a staircase and, before I could even react, he pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his tool bag, handcuffed me to the railing, and the stared down at my grinning.
Him: “Walked right into that one didn't you?”
Me: “Come on man, you can't do this to me again. It's not funny!”
Him: “It's freakin hilarious!”
Me: “This wasn't part of the bet!”
Him: “I mean we did agree you would observe, we just never specified where you would be observing from. How are we gonna know if the house is fully gassed out without having some sort of judge? It's the only way to keep the bet fair.”
Me: “Seriously. I'm not kidding. You need to let me go!”
Him: “I'm not kidding either. This is gonna happen and you're not in any position to argue otherwise. Now we need to do something about that mouth of yours. You're really starting to annoy me.”
I tried to argue more, but he pulled out a roll of duct tape. He also produced a little pill seemingly out of nowhere. He shoved the pill in my mouth and then wrapped the lower half of my face with duct tape. I yelled at him as loud as I could, even though it was now muffled, and started kicking him. He responded by taping my legs together. I was now fully immobilized. I couldn't believe I was in this position again.
Him: “In case you were wondering, the pill is a stimulant. It'll prevent you from passing out. Figure you'll enjoy this more if you don't miss half of it. I also have one more surprise to make things even more fun for you. I was thinking, what could be worse than being subjected to my gas again like this? Then it hit me, what if I forced you to get off to my farts. That would really suck, wouldn't it?”
He grinned again and pulled something else out of his tool bag. Then he showed me what it was: a vibrator. He grabbed my dick through through my shorts and duct taped the vibrator to it. I was so shocked by all this that I gave up on fighting and just looked back at him with pleading eyes. He laughed and turned on the vibrator. A jolt of pleasure went though my body and I moaned.
Him: “There we go. That shouldn't be enough to fully get you off, but it'll definitely keep you aroused the entire time. Not exactly the state you want to be in when you're huffing farts, but it's not like you have a choice. Who knows, maybe this will make you fall in love with my gas. Only one way to find out I guess. Time to get this show on the road. You may not enjoy this, but I know I will!”
He walked away laughing, leaving me there dreading what was to come. After a few minutes, the loudest fart I've ever heard came through the vents. Unlike last time, I didn't have the A/C kicking on as warning that he was about to start, so the sound of the fart made me jump (as much as I could in my position). Then there was another fart that was even louder and longer…and another. They just kept on coming. It wasn't until the smell hit me that it fully dawned on me that this was happening again. It was even worse than I remember it being. It seemed almost inhuman for a person to have gas this intense.
Maybe the stench was getting to my head or maybe it was the horniness from the vibrator, but it almost seemed like his gas was so powerful that it was causing the walls to shake. Having learned from last time, I closed my eyes before the stinging started. His gas seemed to smell worse and worse with each breath. My dick started to leak precum and I felt disgusted with myself. I shouldn't be able to stay horny in an environment like this. Yet here I was. I felt so stupid for letting him put me in this situation again. The sudden realization that I was gonna lose the bet made me feel even worse. The stimulant did its job and prevented me from passing out. With nothing else to do, mind went numb and I just sat there choking on his gas with my dick leaking like a faucet…for 2 hours.
After it was all over and my friend let me go, we drove home in silence. He tried to laugh it off and brag about winning the bet, but I didn't even respond. I wanted nothing to do with him right now and decided to give him the silent treatment. Like last time, the stench of his gas was imprinted on my sense of smell for weeks and it took even longer for me to be able to go out in public without people gagging when they walked near me (no matter how much I showered). I was finally able to ditch the smell and I did go back to talking to my friend, but I was still really pissed at him. The least he could have done was apologize and admit he took things too far, but that never happened. I was pleasantly surprised that he at least didn't bring up the fact that I lost the bet.
I almost thought he had forgotten about it completely until Labor Day weekend. It was Friday evening, and one of our mutual friends was throwing a party to celebrate the long weekend. I was chilling on the couch when he got home. We chatted for a bit and he explained that he just finished fumigating an entire office building. He was really proud of himself because this was the first time he had tackled a building that large without the help of the A/C. I gave him a half-hearted congrats. He said he was feeling so good, that he thought now was the perfect time to collect on our bet as a reward. I told him that he got enough from me when he fumigated me against my will for the second time. He was insistent though and said if I didn't honor my part of the bet, he would tell everyone at the party tonight that I was a welcher. He also said that he would tell them about my second fumigation experience and how I got off to his gas. I knew that wasn't fair, but I definitely didn't need my other friends to find out about that humiliating ordeal so I relented. After all, it would only be for 10 minutes.
Right when I was about to get into position, he said he needed to get something first. He came back with a weird looking harness. He must have sensed my confusion because he explained that he intended to harness me in place to ensure that I didn't back out. I told him there's no way that was happening so he said that we should probably head to the party then so he could reveal all to our friends. Feeling like I had no other choice, I begrudgingly agreed. He pulled out a roll of duct tape and said he was going to gag me. Tired of arguing at this point, I let him do it in hopes that we could get this over with faster. Then he handed me a pair of kneepads saying they would make me more comfortable. Without further ado, I got into position behind him. He was wearing tight jeans and he slowly rolled the back of them down, revealing that he was wearing equally tight boxer briefs that really hugged his ass and highlighted the crevice of his crack. I barely had time to take it all in before he grabbed me and shoved my nose directly into that crevice. He tightened the harness around my head and started the ten minute timer.
His ass stunk worse than I expected. That’s when it occurred to me that he hadn't showered or changed his clothes since he got home from work. Then the farts started. Each one was massive and literally rattled my skull. And the stench was unreal. I had survived two fumigations and been farted on many times by him before, but nothing compared to smelling his gas straight from the source. This was a whole other level. My eyes flooded with tears and I thought my nose was gonna fall off. When the timer finally went off, it felt like it had been ten years instead of ten minutes. I waited for him to let me go, but instead he said that it was time to head to the party and walked towards the door. I started freaking out and slapping his hips with my hands, but he kept going.
Next thing I knew we were outside. I couldn't believe this was happening. My friend was actually walking down the street with me harnessed to his ass. Anytime people walked by us, they would laugh and make jokes at my expense. I tried as hard as I could to pull out of the harness, but it was no use. Even though the sun had set, it was still pretty warm out so it wasn't long before my friend’s ass started to sweat. Feeling his ass sweat on my face was gross - the constant farting made it even worse. After a half hour, we finally made it to the party. Everyone there burst out laughing as soon as we walked in. My friend lied and said that I had a thing for his ass and begged him to do this for me. People kept on coming up to him and asking him to fart to which he gladly obliged. The host even gave him leftover Taco Bell from the fridge, which only made things worse for me. At one point, people asked if they could take pictures and videos of us. My friend said no to my relief, but then followed that up with “not unless you make sure my face isn't visible and tag him in whatever you post online.” I screamed into his ass. This was hell. My life as I knew it was over.
After hours of absolute torture, which included my friend drunkenly dancing with my face in his ass, the party died down. My friend said his goodbyes and then walked home (with me still strapped to his ass, of course). I had given up complaining. I was ready to just get home so he could let me go and then I could pack my stuff and stay in a hotel for a few days until I could find a new apartment in another state. However, when we got home, my friend didn't let me out like I expected. Instead, he started going through his bedtime routine. Finally, I struggled hard enough that he acknowledged me.
Him: “Yeah, I know tonight was pretty rough for you. I've been planning this for a while and I had a feeling you might not fully enjoy it. That said, let me tell you how things are gonna be from now on. First things first, next week you're gonna call your boss and quit your job. Then, you're going to sign a contract with the fumigation company to become my assistant. Per the contract, as my assistant you'll have to be inside every building I fumigate and you'll also have to sniff my gas between jobs whenever I ask you to. The contract also stipulates that your salary will go into my bank account so that I can use it to help pay for rent, utilities, groceries, and whatever else I want. That will also help ensure you never have enough money to move out and get a place of your own. As an extra bonus, we added a clause that makes it so that quitting within the first ten years of signing the contract will be considered breach of contract. Doesn't that sound great?”
I screamed into his ass and pounded his hips with my fists.
Him: “Yeah, I knew you'd like it. I imagine you'll need some time to think it over though. It's Friday night now and since Monday is Labor Day and we're both off, I figured I'll keep you strapped to my ass until Monday night. That way you'll be in the perfect environment to process all this. By then, I'm sure you'll want out of my ass so badly and be so thirsty and hungry, that signing the contract will be a no brainer.”
I went ballistic. There's no way he could keep me strapped to his ass for three days without food or water. I had to get out, but the harness was unyielding.
Him: “Hey, settle down! It’s time for me to go to bed. If you don't stop screaming and hitting me, tomorrow I'll eat an entire can of baked beans and go for a run to get nice and sweaty.”
That shut me up. I was trapped. He pulled down the back of his underwear and tightened the harness more, sealing me between his bare ass cheeks.
Him: “Well good night! Just so you know, my night farts are the worst…”
I shuddered. Deep down I knew I had no choice. Come Monday, I would sign that contract and begin my new life dedicated to him and his gas. As the first night fart blasted me, I began to quietly sob into his ass…
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wolfgang1097 · 12 days
Text
Disclaimer: I do not condone in anything disturbing nor inappropriate with any of the subject matter involved. I also do not condone in any trolling either.
"White Spy is the Snow White of Spy vs. Spy," White is pure and wholesome," and blah blah blah...
You've got to be kidding! I'm sorry, but if you think and even headcanon that White Spy is pure and wholesome and even portray him as a hero all the time while treating Black like he's a spawn of Satan, then you're living in a fart bubble! Just because White is great with animals, especially dogs, does not mean that he's a "good boy," and I have proof of why every single claim about White Spy being "angelic" is all a bunch of bullcrap:
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Plus, there's this part when he threatens the plastic surgeon into making a clone of himself just before that one graphically violent scene that I exposed back in late-January or early-February:
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Then there's this scene where he thinks this random old lady is Black in disguise and tries to attack her, only for the old lady to kick his ass:
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In my honest opinion, White deserved it. In another paperback strip he forces a Black Embassy geisha at gunpoint to have a clam form a pearl around a bugged microphone. It is from a paperback that I don't have a physical copy of as of yet, but that one is from "The Fourth Declassified Files of Spy vs. Spy," which was later reprinted as "Missions of Madness," I think. Once I have saved up enough, I'll be looking forward to buying it off of Amazon just like I did with my only paperback (as of now), "Masters of Mayhem," back in January. Also, there was a strip called "Operation: Altered Ego," from the paperback "The Third Dossier of Spy vs. Spy," where White plays a really cruel (and very disturbing) prank on Black after the former read "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde." This results in Black turning into a Mr. Hyde version of himself and ends up being taken to the nut house, all thanks to White using his love for literature to his own advantage despite that it has been used against him on other multiple occasions. That incident is proof that White has set up harsher, more callous, and disturbing traps for Black, and I am not surprised as I am beyond positive that this obviously isn't the only time he has pulled even more callous pranks on Black; remember what he did in "Operation: Maid of Steel" (which was made into animated short towards the end of the first season of MADtv 23-24 years later) from the same paperback?
Anyway, this is my point and I am dead serious: stop calling White Spy wholesome, pure, and good because I have evidence that proves otherwise! He may be great with animals (*cough**cough*Operation: Operation*cough**cough*) and can be a softy deep down inside, which shows that he does have standards, but that does not mean he is pure and wholesome!
No, I am not defending Black Spy either. Though I am sure he probably has standards as well, and might be a softy deep down inside, too. I mean, according to the wiki (which may not be 100% valid, of course, though), Black has been shown to be empathetic towards civilians, which is something White usually exploits at any given opportunity. Not to mention that Black also seems to be great with children, apparently. To anybody who loves antagonizing Black Spy, when you say you love White Spy better yet have tons of artwork torturing Black nonstop more than artwork of White, you are openly proving that you're a hypocrite, so why don't y'all do a lot of us this favor: cut the crap and leave Black alone!
This post was not meant to antagonize White Spy; this post was meant to expose him. Neither spy is good nor evil because the comics were not supposed to have the good vs. evil element; they were intended to represent that war is worthless. Both Black Spy and White Spy were meant to be equally sadistic, psychotic, and callous towards each other. Don't get me wrong. I mean, I love both Black Spy and White Spy equally because I think they're both simultaneously adorable and insane at the same time. Either way, I am sick and tired of people portraying one spy as good and the other as evil. I mean, this whole "white is good" and "black is evil" misconception and stereotype is nothing but a bunch of stupid crap. Seriously, this whole good vs. evil element headcanon in the Spy vs. Spy fandom gets on my nerves and it needs to end NOW.
I do not claim ownership of any content. Spy vs. Spy belongs to the defunct MAD Magazine and the late, great Antonio Prohías.
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thoseyoulove · 1 month
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Reacting to The Vampire Lestat - Part II (with a bit of spoilers)
I found out my problem with the narration and description isn't with Anne, but Lestat. That dude sometimes focuses on the most useless stuff instead of telling what is happening or what he's feeling. I'm like, Lestat de Lioncourt, get your priorities (not) straight? But it's not much of a problem anymore now, because it gives me a better idea of who he is and how he thinks, so I appreciate that. I enjoy the immersion, even with someone as chaotic and as distracted as he is.
Turns out when Lestat FINALLY gives me a good picture of things, it's with the WORST event possible.
Remember what Louis said about the little drink? That's the whole experience from the moment Magnus kidnaps Lestat, turns him, kills himself before his eyes and leaves him completely alone. Multiply your worst case scenario by a trillion.
Not that I would want Magnus to stay, God forbid, but the next moment is still pretty bad. You might believe it gets better after his death, but it's not immediately.
Lestat goes from being too frozen to move, to fighting with every fiber of his being and then trying to take it as a positive thing? Which, well, it's a realistic reaction to it, but also heartbreaking.
It's not exactly "rape", but it has pretty much everything a rape can have without penetration? So it basically felt like the same thing to me.
It's quite a long chapter, it's considerably graphic (at least for me), took me over 2 hours to finish it (maybe it was even closer to 3 hours, I don't remember anymore, but I struggled a lot), I kept taking pauses, whenever I thought it was over it kept going and kept getting worse.
It is well-written in the way that makes sense, that moves the story, that narrates and describes what's happening with details, that you can really picture it in your head, that is extremely intense and emotional... But it's obviously not an exciting part.
I feel bad for the way Lestat immediately shifts afterwards and tries to make the most of it. Not that I wanted him to be miserable and feeling sorry for himself, but I'm like, something terrible happened to you and it's okay to take time to deal with it. I'm not even sure he understands how traumatic that was? If he does, he doesn't acknowledge it, let alone admit it. Not even to himself. And it's just frustrating.
Even after I read it, it stuck with me and took me more than a day to get over. I kept remembering it even when I was doing totally different stuff.
It's cool to navigate through things with him as Lestat finds more about how his body and powers operate.
When he went to the village and began to experiment with his powers was fun. Him jumping, cutting trees and whatever the other silly things he was doing and I can't fully remember... It was like an ADHD child high on sugar and sort of cute.
Is that presence... Armand?
You can take the man out of the church, but you can't take the church out of the man (or the vampire), apparently.
This probably isn't necessary, but I want that scene that he sees the house with the family and reads their thoughts? The idea of seeing the thoughts of babies is so sweet... It's not even for him, it's more of a me thing, I guess. I would just like to see it. I don't know. Maybe I'm being too sensitive and PMSing lol. Don't @ me.
Lestat has kissed so many people at this point and he hardly gives details, so I'm like, what are you kissing? A cheek? A hand? A mouth? Is it a friendly peck on the lips? Is it tongue-kissing? Elaborate? I mean, I don't care because the way he does it feels as trivial as a fart lmao. The only one he really has a deeper relationship with so far is Nicki, so I only kind of care about Lestat with him. It's not really a problem, but I just find the whole thing vague and ridiculous lol.
It's not even Lestat that has BPD, but BPD has Lestat at this point. The man is intense, has crazy mood swings, has extreme reactions to things, engages in dangerous behavior, is highly irresponsible with money, has a chronic fear of being alone... I know one when I see it. And vampirism didn't fix it, it only made it worse.
A bit off topic, but there's something about France that is so enchanting? I've always been obsessed with it in some ways, some places, the architecture, the language, the art... It's not like I'm a big nerd or anything, I can't barely name stuff to save my life, but just looking, hearing and thinking about it... There's just some charm to it. I've realized that the simple fact of stories being set in France makes me excited for some reason. I would love if they filmed there and in some of my favorite spots (cough Sainte-Chapelle and Carcassonne cough), for the mere reason it would look gorgeous and they should because I said so. Maybe in a past life I lived there or something, but I've always had that fascination, God knows why.
"Why the hell did Anne write and word it like that?" moment #1, I guess. At least it was fast and I can erase it from my memory.
The book has gotten quite faster and more eventful now, it's definitely better than when I first started it. I hate when it takes too long for things to happen, so this pace is good. And crucial moments happen pretty early on, which I appreciate. It's nice to know I've read some of the most important events by now, even as disturbing as they are. One of the downsides of being in this fandom is not having the full information, so already knowing part of the big events is satisfying.
P.S. Nothing is permanent, opinions might change and this is based on Lestat's narration, which can be unreliable. I'm reading the books so I can find out more about the characters, what potential events might happen in the show, what I can expect etc. This is my favorite show in the universe, so I want to be as informed as possible. I have no idea if I'll become a legit fan of the books or not, but so far I'm enjoying it. I'm posting these comments only for fun.
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Imagefic - Hookup Gone Wrong
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Channing and Felix had met on a hookup app. However, they were both the type of guys who preferred a date first to build up the tension. The date of choice was going to a new sushi restaurant... big mistake.
After the meal, they went back to Felix's house to move onto the main event. Channing asked to use Felix's bathroom to make sure his hair looked nice, but the door wouldn't open. "For fuck's sake, it's jammed again. I'll have to get my tools out the shed and fix it after you've gone. Your hair looks fine, though, so just come back over here." Felix licked his lips and Channing walked back over.
Felix leant Channing over his kitchen counter and ripped his playboy's shirt off, before beginning to caress his hips. He moved his head closer to kiss his neck when suddenly a long wet fart rippled from Channing's ass. "What the fuck?" Felix shouted as he took a few steps back in disgust.
"S-sorry I-" Channing rubbed his stomach and another fart ripped out, "My stomach, it's- Ahhh!" a third fart erupted from his asshole and he moaned in pain, "Is there any way you could fix your bathroom door?"
"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with-" suddenly a sharp pain ran through Felix's guts and he bent over in pain, "Ah fuck my-" a long wet fart burst from his backside.
"Wh- what's wrong?"
"Fuck I gotta take a shit." Felix grunted as another fart slipped from his crack. He speed-walked to the bathroom door and began trying to force it open. "Fuck, shit, come on you stupid thing!" he cried out as he barged his shoulder into it.
"Please can you-" Channing moaned as an even wetter fart burst out, "Why can't you just go get your tools?"
"Are you fucking stupid?!" a sad and hopeless look filled Felix's eyes, "I'll never make it to the shed..."
"I'm sorry Felix I-" Channing pressed his hand to his asscheeks as he let out another ripper, "I can't hold it!!" He started to pull down his trousers and boxers and began to mount the sink.
"I don't fucking think so!" shouted out Felix, before running over and grabbing Channing. As he pulled him off the sink, Channing lost control and a waterfall of shit fell across the floor. "What the fuck! My floor!"
Channing turned around and got back onto the sink, tears running down his face now. "I can't control it!" he cried as a gassy splutter of diarrhoea fell into the sink below him.
Felix was sweating now trying to hold it in, he took off his shirt and his grey joggers. He ran to the bathroom and started to try forcing it open again, but began to fall to the ground as an eruption of bubbly farts and wet shit forced its way from his anus. He moaned and looked around for anywhere to relieve himself. It didn't take him long to settle on the trashcan and begin to expel a tsunami of foul liquid before he'd even finished positioning his ass above it.
Moans of pain, rather the pleasure, sounds of wet farts and the putrid smell of digested sushi turned a hot hookup into a disgusting disaster.
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