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#I understand we’re supposed to change the world and are not made for this world but we can’t be demonizing minority groups
romiantic · 11 months
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as a christian saying this, nobody is more of a bigot than Christians and then wanna cry wolf when they’re attacked
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wolfmoonmusic · 1 year
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Misunderstandings
Summary: Sirius is yours and you are his. But do you both know that?
Request: Sirius and reader have a kind of an off and on flirtation/situationship thing going and he sees her going on a "date" with Frank Longbottom (personally I had headcanon that Frank was the fifth boy in the dorm along with the Marauders) in reality she's went on a pretend date to help Frank get ready for the real date he's taking her best friend Alice on and so Sirius gets jealous and wants to make things official before he loses her to someone else a little bit of angst with happy ending you know
Requested by: @jessiegerl
Pairing: Sirius Black x reader
Warnings: Readers parents hate her and well we all know how Sirius's Parents are.
w/c: 2.8k+
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Sirius Black was not used to affection.
It was foreign to him. He never received praise, compliments, or anything positive. Ever.
So when the acquaintances he’d made on the hogwart’s express clapped him on the back after getting into Gryffindor, he didn’t know how to react other than to flinch.
And when you, introduced as James’s honorary sister, sat down that night, you’d complimented his hair.
You’d said “I like your long hair. It suits you.”
His parents hated that hairstyle. 
He’d kept it purely as an act of rebellion. However, now, now he seemed to like it just a bit more. He hadn’t said thank you. Because he hadn’t known he was supposed to. So he’d just nodded, and you’d grinned.
That grin changed everything. You changed everything.
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“What if we make polyjuice potion, and I disguise myself as Narcissa, lead Lucius on for a bit and then prank him?” you asked, playing with the quill in your hands. 
Remus groaned, “We’re still on this?” he asked, throwing his head back in disbelief.
“N/n, Remmy is right, we pranked Lucius only the day before yesterday,” Sirius nodded. You raised an eyebrow at him knowing he was never one to back down from a prank on any Slytherin.
And you were right. He wanted to do it. But if that meant Lucius got a chance to be near you even in a slightly romantic way, he would hurl.
And possibly punch him.
“Oh c’monnn Siri,” you whined, putting on your best pleading face and puppy eyes.
Damn those puppy eyes.
Sirius just shook his head, ignoring the way his heart was racing at your look. He watched as you pouted, leaning back on to the couch, head resting on James’s shoulder. “James, help me out here,” you said, folding your arms as you waited expectantly.
But James was too busy staring at a certain redhead and you, still staring at Sirius, nudged James in the chest.
“Huh? What?”
Sirius burst out laughing at the way your face twisted in pure irritation, the other two boys joining in as you hit James repeatedly with a pillow.
“Ow ow! I’m sorry, I'm sorry!” James laughed as you continued your assault fighting the grin that was creeping up on your face.
“Fuck you Potter!” you laughed, as James tried to correct his hair, you stopping him and messing it up further.
Sirius watched the exchange between you both, a sick feeling crawling up his chest. He knew that you both were no more than honorary siblings and it would always be that way, but deep down he wished you were sitting next to him, doing all that silly stuff with him.
He immediately brushed it off, not one to allow feelings to linger for long, replacing his hardened stare with a smirk instead, watching you and James continue to fight like kids, admiring the bright smile on your face.
He wished that that smile would never go away.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Black, if you could be any animal in the world which was not a dog, which by the way I still don’t understand why that’s your favorite animal, which would you choose?” you asked, mindlessly hooking your hand with his as you both walked to class in 4th year.
He ignored the burst of feelings that erupted in him, trying to focus on your question and not on the way your hand felt against his, clinging on as you pranced lightly. “Uhh, I don’t know” he muttered, his brain fogging up as he refrained himself from staring at your linked hands. You hummed, breaking away from him as James and Remus came into view outside the class.
He paused for a few seconds trying to calm down his erratic heart before shaking his head and entering the class. 
You waved him down, patting the seat next you, and the second he sat down, you grabbed his arm, sticking your tongue out at a slytherin girl eyeing you both with pure jealousy written all over her face.
Sirius laughed, “What’s that all about?”
“She likes you,” you pouted, “and asked me, ME to set you both up!” you pointed to yourself in disbelief.
“She looks cute,” Sirius said, winking at the girl. 
You gasped at the way the girl blushed in response. “She’s a slytherin!” you exclaimed, swatting his shoulder. 
Sirius shrugged, “Good point, guess I’ll have to find someone else then.”
“No way! You’re mine” you said seriously, jabbing a finger at his chest. 
His heart erupted, eyes widening. But he played it off quickly, leaning over to whisper in your ear. “You wish sweetheart.” 
Your face turned pink, eyes widening. Luckily the professor walked in, not allowing Sirius to dwell on your reaction.
Merlin, he was done for.
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You were always a naturally happy person. The boys had never seen you cry, even though they’d all had their breakdown moments. You’d been their rock through everything. 
However, when 5th year started, you’d changed. You opted out of pranks, studying almost all the time and the usual spark in your eyes had faded. James seemed to know what had happened but he refused to let the others know, telling them it was up to you to reveal it to them. 
He was worried about you, Sirius could tell, and that made the long-haired boy worry even more. 
He’d tried to get you to talk to him, but you’d refused.
Until one day you’d shown up to Charms, puffy-eyed and asked Sirius to meet you in the Astronomy tower after his classes were done for the day. 
He’d waited anxiously, and as soon as his classes finished, he ran to find you.
You were standing right where you’d said you’d be, gazing up at the sky. You turned when you saw him, a small smile forming on your lips. But the boy noticed the way it seemed to require so much effort from you, which was never the case before.
You turned away again, wordlessly staring at the sky. He wanted to demand an explanation, no longer able to watch you like this.
“Y/N-”
“I’ve never stopped to think,” you started softly, still staring above. Sirius stepped closer to you, waiting patiently for you to continue.
You took a deep breath before turning to face him. 
“I’ve never let myself stop doing things or take a break because then all the thoughts flood the gates and I feel like I’m going to drown. But-” your eyes glazed over as you took a shuddering breath, looking down at your feet.
Sirius grabbed your shaking hands with one of his own, using the other to lift your chin up so that you could look at him. 
“I’m listening,” he whispered.
You bit down on your lip before starting again, “But this summer was bad Siri- they- they said the worst things and-” you couldn’t finish as a sob wracked through your body. 
Sirius pulled you to him, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and another lightly around your head as if trying to shield you.
He knew about the situation with your parents. They were almost never at home, and whenever they were, they made it very clear that they hadn’t wanted children in the first place. That’s why you spent most of your time at the Potter’s. 
It’s also why you understood his situation so well.
You pulled away, wiping your tears away as you looked at Sirius. “Euphemia says she won’t let me go back this time even if they ask,” you laughed slightly remembering the possessiveness that had come over the older Potter. 
Sirius smiled, “Good.”
“Thanks Siri,” you nodded, and Sirius beamed at the real smile that made its way to your face. 
“Anytime princess. But don’t get too comfortable, other girls will get jealous.”
You gasped, playfully punching him on his shoulder, “I better be your one and only Black!” you laughed, and he joined in, hiding the way that sentence struck his heart.
Little did you know.
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When Sirius found himself knocking on the door of the Potter’s house, he didn’t expect for you to open it.
Shit. He’d forgotten you stayed there now.
But he couldn’t back away. He didn’t have the energy, nor did he think you would let him, at the way you gasped in horror as you looked at him.
He mustered all his strength into a cheeky “Hi” before James appeared behind you, giving the same reaction you had seconds before. You stood there in shock, hands over your mouth and eyes watering at the sight of the boy in front of you.
Sirius gave up on trying to fake it, giving in as you and James pulled him inside the house. 
“James, get your mom,” you ordered. The boy hesitated as you guided Sirius to the sofa, before you turned and glared at him and he ran off. 
Your eyes scanned the boy, a sort of resolve taking you over as you kneeled down in front of him. Sirius was fighting to keep consciousness and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold it for.
“Sirius,” you called gently, placing a hand on his knee, slowly and carefully. “What happened?” you asked. 
Sirius didn’t want to relive what his mother had done to him, trying desperately to push it all away, trying to drown himself in your presence. But he knew you’d need an explanation if you were to help him get rid of the immense pain he was feeling right now.
“Cruciatus,” he whispered, noticing the horror and anger that made its way to your face, but also noticing the way the gentleness of your touch hadn’t changed.
“Can’t go back. Ever.” he muttered, and you were quick to adjust yourself so that he could look you in the eyes. “You won’t ever be going back. Even if Euphemia can’t keep us all here, you and I will find another place. But Black,” you placed a careful hand on his cheek and he leaned into it, “You are never. Ever. Going back there.” The seriousness in your voice gave Sirius enough strength to whisper a “Thank you” before partially fading out of consciousness again, comforted by the fact that you were here, and for once in his life feeling that things would be okay.
He could vaguely make out Euphemia and Fleamont’s reaction to seeing him nearly passed out on the couch, and your hurried explanation of whatever you’d understood from what he’d said. Euphemia walked up to him moments later with a some medicine in hand, something about opening his mouth, gulping, and about helping him sleep and doctors and the next day at sunrise. He couldn’t process it, just doing what he was told. 
James and you then carefully lifted him, carrying him to a room and gently placing him on a bed. 
He could hear you and James both talking in hushed whispers, but he was unable to make out what you were saying, as he fell into a disturbed sleep.
He woke up in the middle of night once, sweating and terrified, haunted by what he’d seen in his nightmare. But before he could properly react and realize where he was, you got up from beside him. 
He couldn’t breathe, and tears were streaming down his face. He could see you move to sit in front of him and your lips moving but he couldn’t make out what you were saying. 
You then gently placed your hands on his face and surprisingly it helped. 
It grounded him, reminded him that he was with you and not with his monstrous parents.
Your voice started to fade back in and he could hear you telling him to breathe, and so he did, thankful that you were there to help him.
Of all the Marauders, he felt the safest with you. 
“I’m okay,” he whispered once his breathing was back in his control. You nodded, sighing softly.
“Thank you,” he muttered, looking up at your tired eyes, “and I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“It’s fine,” you shrugged, “I hadn't slept. I was too worried.” You said, moving to sit against the headboard of the bed.
“Sorry for that then,” Sirius said lying back down. 
You stared at him for a few minutes before running a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp softly.
“It’s not your fault Sirius, don’t apologize.”
Sirius didn’t respond, trying to focus on you, and on where he was, rather than the memories that were flooding his brain.
You laid down next to him, and Sirius realized that he was infact in your room, and as he turned to apologize once again, you placed a finger on his lips.
“If you apologize for intruding or something like that again, I will make you sleep on the couch.” you threatened your voice laced with humor.
Sirius smiled at you slightly, and you pulled him close to you, allowing him to tuck his face under your chin as you wrapped your hands and legs around him. He was glad you did so, it made him feel safe, and as if you’d heard his thoughts, you whispered into his ear “You’re safe with me Black. You’re mine, and I’ll keep you safe”
He wished he really was yours.
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Sirius couldn’t find you anywhere. And what worried him more was that he couldn’t find Frank anywhere either. 
Why did that matter?
Well as you and Sirius had gotten closer and flirtier, you and Frank had gotten closer too. After the fiasco that took place over the summer, you’d spent more time with the boys in their dorm room and naturally that meant you were hanging out with their roommate Frank Longbottom as well. 
And now Sirius was worried that you’d thought his flirting was just him being Sirius and that he had no actual feelings for you.
If you really did think that and if you’d decided to hang out with Frank instead, Sirius had no idea what he would do. 
He’d searched every nook and corner of Hogwarts and now the only other place he could think of was Hogsmeade. 
Oh Merlin he hoped it wasn’t Hogsmeade.
Sirius snuck out of the school during study hours, making his way to Hogsmeade, anxiety filling him.
As he made his way through hogsmeade, his heart dropped when he saw your familiar figure next to Frank’s. 
Your head was thrown back in laughter, and Frank was grinning. “You did great! I’m sure next time will be just as smooth,” you said, patting him on the shoulder.
Next time?
Fear creeped up on Sirius.
He couldn’t lose you to Frank. 
He couldn’t lose you to anyone.
He ran up to you and Frank, seeing both of your faces twist in confusion.
“Sirius?”
“You can’t date him!” Sirius exclaimed, pointing to Frank. 
“What?” you and Frank both said at once, before realization crossed your features and a small smile formed on your lips. 
But Sirius was too anxious and worried to register it, only glaring at Frank.
“Frank, what about you go back, and I’ll figure out what Sirius wants,” Frank nodded at your suggestion and walked off, patting Sirius on the back once.
“Why can’t I date Frank?” you asked, looking at Sirius who was still glaring at the boy who’d just walked away.
He spun around to look at you, surprise all over his face. Anyone could see you struggling to hide your smile and maintain a serious expression on your face, but Sirius was blinded.
“Because- ‘Cause-” Sirius faltered, what he was about to do, dawning on him. He hadn’t wanted to confess to you like this.
“Because?” you asked, raising an eyebrow and crossing your arms in front of your chest.
“Because I like you,” he rushed out, scared he would think twice and miss this chance. And the slight tinge of pink in your cheeks gave him confidence. 
“Actually no, I don’t like you, I love you. I’m head over heels for you and I cannot imagine not being with you, at all. I want - no need you to be mine”
You grinned, “Black finally confesses! And you really think I would have gone out with Frank when I have feelings for you? He wanted me to help him get ready for the actual date he’s taking Alice on, since she’s my close friend.” 
Sirius heard nothing except - “You have feelings for me?”
You laughed, linking your hand with his, “I thought it was obvious!”
He turned you around, looking at you, “You really like me?”
You shook your head, laughing lightly, before leaning up to place your lips against his.
His hand moved to your waist, pulling you in, as your hands wrapped around his neck, fingers entangling in his hair.
You both pulled away a few moments later, gasping for air. 
“I’ve been yours since the first day I saw you,” you whispered, eyes locked on his.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you too. But I think I love your hair more.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Taglists: @pinchofhoney @targaryenmoony
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joelalorian · 3 months
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Fall Into Me - Chapter Two: It All Turned Around
dbf!Joel x f!reader
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Summary: Joel is hanging on by a thread as a single father to a tenacious 10-year-old Sarah. Feeling like he's drowning, like the world is about to spit him out, he needs some help before he breaks in half. At your dad's insistence, you show up in his life and change everything.
Story is inspired by the song Fall Into Me by Forest Blakk. Chapter titles will be lyrics from the song.
Word Count: 2.6k
Series Warnings: Mature to start, but will ultimately be Explicit, under 18 take a hike. No outbreak AU. There will be angst, drama, fluff, humor, romance, smut... basically, the works. Age gap of about 9 years (Reader 24/25, Joel 33/34). No use of y/n. Reader has a nickname from her dad, which is explained in this chapter.
Dividers by the wonderful @saradika-graphics
Thank you for reading this little tale! I did not expect all the love the first chapter received - my heart is fit to burst!
Chapter One | Main Masterlist
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Chapter Two: It All Turned Around
You walked the few blocks over to Joel’s house on Monday morning, ready to start your new gig as Sarah’s… babysitter wasn’t the right word. Nanny? Au pair? Nah, that didn’t work either. Whatever, the wording did not matter. You were helping Joel out by taking care of his daughter when he couldn’t, that’s what mattered. Jeez, you thought as you walked along the sleepy neighborhood sidewalk, you were one step away from talking to herself aloud like a mad woman.
When you finally reached Joel’s house, already damp with sweat from the lingering heat, climbing the porch steps to the front door with your eyes glued to Joel’s truck, you realized the flaw in this arrangement.
You didn’t have a car.
How the hell were you supposed to take the kid to and from school without a car?
How did you not realize this sooner?
Knuckles rapping on the door, your teeth worried your plump bottom lip as you considered your options. Admit to the gorgeous single father relying on you to help with his precious daughter that you were a complete flake. Sneakily order an Uber with the hope that Sarah will keep her mouth shut about it. Or just buy a car off one of those online dealers and hope it gets delivered in time.
Those options weren’t great, but what the hell else did you have to work with?
The door finally opened to reveal a frazzled Joel, tee shirt inside out and dark curls mussed. A giggle bubbled out before you could stop it.
“Mornin’ darlin’,” Joel greeted, his lips tilting upwards at the sight of you while his free hand attempted to tame his wild curls. “Come on in. We’re runnin’ a little behind schedule this morning.”
“Good morning, Joel.” Your eyes drank him in. Even in his disheveled state he was gorgeous. If anything, the harried morning look made him even more endearing.
He stepped aside to let you in, glancing to the driveway then the curb. “Where’s your car? Did you walk here?” he questioned, confused.
And just like that, the pleasant feeling of seeing him again washed away in embarrassment. You almost forgot about the car situation again. “Yeah, ‘bout that. I don’t actually have a car.” You could practically see the wheels turning behind his dark chocolate eyes as he stared at you.
Finally, Joel’s head bobbed in a nod as he led you into the kitchen. “Okay, we can make it work. Tommy is on his way over and I’ll just hitch a ride to work with him. You can use my truck for running Sarah around.”
“You sure?” you questioned doubtfully. “I’m sorry, it didn’t occur to me that I don’t have wheels until I was standing on your porch.”
Waving off your apologetic concern, Joel called for Sarah to come down for breakfast. Turning back to you, he smiled, the scruff of his beard barely concealing a delightful little dimple. “Don’t worry about it. Just use my truck when you’re on duty until we figure something else out. It’s not like I need it when I’m stuck on a job site all day.”
“Well, thanks for being understanding, and so kind,” you replied, feeling a little overwhelmed by how wonderful Joel was being.
Sarah appeared at your side as Joel dug in his pocket for his keys, throwing her arms around your waist. “You’re here!”
“I am!” You hugged the little girl to your side with a laugh, surprised to see Joel’s warm gaze on you when you looked up. There was something in his expression that you couldn’t decipher.
“Here are my keys – this one is for the truck, obviously, and this one is for the front door. Don’t mind the other ones,” he said after clearing his throat, a slight flush spreading across his cheeks. “I’ll get a spare house key made this week so you can come and go as you please. You have my cell number, so call me if you run into any problems with the truck or anything else.”
Once Sarah was seated at the table with a bowl of cereal, Joel filled you in on a few other details pertaining to Sarah’s weekday routine and where anything you might need was located in the house.
“Drop off at 8:30, pick up at 3, homework before play, and don’t let her snack too much before dinner,” you summarized his instructions. “I got it. I can make dinner, too, if you’d like.”
Dark eyes flashed with a hint of something indecipherable again as Joel smiled. “You don’t have to do that unless I’m gonna be real late. I’ll call or text to let you know when I expect to get home each day.”
“Sounds good.” Your finger traced random patterns on the countertop as you watched the Millers go about their morning routine and you wondered if you should say something about his tee shirt. You didn’t want to embarrass the guy, but it would be rude not to let him know, right? What was the protocol here? If it was you, you’d want to know before leaving the house, right?
Before you could decide what to do, Tommy came bursting through the front door, boisterous voice calling out for his brother. “Come on, man. We gotta get rollin’!”
Joel rolled his eyes to you as Tommy came to a halt in the kitchen, the younger brother’s smile widening when his eyes raked over you. “Well, hello again, gorgeous.”
“Hey Tommy,” you greeted in return, glancing between the two brothers. Where Joel was broad and brooding, Tommy was lithe and energetic, and flirty to a fault. Both were handsome, but Tommy had ‘player’ written all over him. He was the exact type of guy that you avoided getting entangled with – the overconfident, love ‘em and leave ‘em type.
Growing tired of his brother gawking at you, Joel grumbled. “Alright, stop flirting, Tommy. It’s time to go.” Dropping his empty coffee cup in the sink, he turned back to you. “Call me if you need anything, darlin’.”
You nodded with a smile, watching the brothers kiss Sarah goodbye.
“Your shirt’s on inside out, asshole,” Tommy blurted out suddenly causing Joel’s cheeks to pinken. “God dammit,” he muttered, tugging the shirt over his head to set it right.
Unable to tear your gaze away from the glimpse of broad chest and slightly soft tummy, you jolted when something bumped your shoulder. Snapping your head to the side, you frowned at Tommy’s beaming grin. “Ah, I see how it is,” he said cryptically, the grin never leaving his lips.
“What?” you asked, baffled, mind still flooded with the image of a briefly shirtless Joel. The brothers were gone before you could shake your head clear.
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Joel’s truck was ornery, you learned quickly. Stomp too hard on the gas pedal and it stalled. Don’t step hard enough on the pedal and it made funny noises while going nowhere fast. Brake too hard and it squealed. Don’t brake hard enough and, well, then you’d crash, obviously. It was a damn Goldilocks truck, but you adapted quickly, making sure you could get Sarah to and from school safely.
God, could you imagine if your first call ever to Joel was to tell him you crashed his truck and put his daughter in danger – or worse yet, she got hurt? That would be beyond awful!
By the afternoon, you and the truck had come to a grudging agreement. You would treat it nicely and it would do what you wanted it to. That was another sign you were losing your mind, right? Coming to agreements with inanimate objects? It was getting sad. You needed a life, some human socialization, for fucks sake.
“Hey nugget!” you called to Sarah, spotting her bouncing down the steps of the front entrance to the K-8 school. It was the very one you applied to earlier in the day, hoping to take over for a science teacher retiring at the end of the year.
“Hey! That’s what my dad calls me!” the little girl declared as she came to a halt in front of you.
“I know! It’s such a cool nickname, much better than the one my dad gave me,” you laughed and opened the passenger door, watching her scramble into the seat like a pro. Satisfied with the security of Sarah’s seatbelt, you jogged around to the driver’s side and hopped up into the truck.
“What’s your nickname?” Sarah asked as you started the truck with an encouraging pat on the dash.
“Spud,” you groaned, voice barely louder than the rumble of the truck’s engine.
Sarah’s brow furrowed and her cute little nose scrunched up. “Spud? Why does your dad call you that?”
“Ugh, the way he tells it, I was a really chunky baby. ‘Round like a potato’ he said. He didn’t like the thought of calling me ‘potato’ so, the nickname spud was born. I’ve hated it every day, but my dad loves it, so I tolerate it for his sake.”
Sarah listened to your explanation with rapt attention. “Yeah, I can see why you like mine better. I’ll make sure to never call you spud. Maybe we can come up with something better?”
“Thanks, kid! I’d like that.”
The rest of the ride back to Joel’s house was quiet as you focused on driving and Sarah bobbed her head to some tune she hummed. Once you pulled to a careful stop in the driveway, the little girl turned into a chatterbox, recounting every moment of her day as you led the way inside and prepared a small snack.
“Fourth grade is quite the adventure, I see,” you said when she finally stopped to nibble at an apple slice. “I don’t remember it being quite that much fun.”
There wasn’t any homework to assist with, but Sarah insisted on showing you all the A grades she got on her work from last week. She preened under your undivided attention, and you encouraged her to keep working hard.
The two of you were in the midst of playing some Lego video game when your phone buzzed with a text from Joel letting you know he was on his way home. The job site wasn’t far, and he walked through the door before 5 pm to find you and Sarah giggling as you bashed away at things in the video game. You were both laying on the floor, knees bent, and heads perched on throw pillows from the couch as you stared up at the TV. Neither of you even noticed him come in and he smiled at the precious moments he had to take in how genuinely happy Sarah was in your company.
Sarah caught sight of him first, pausing the game and rushing over to hug him. He eyed you as he hugged his daughter, his exhausted gaze silently thanking you for taking care of his entire world.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” he asked, kicking off his boots before stepping farther into the house. “I was gonna order pizza.”
Tempted to say yes just to spend more time with him, you declined knowing they had limited father-daughter time. “Thank you, though. I should get back to my house to finish the paperwork for transferring my teaching certification. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Joel escorted you to the door, watching as you descended the porch steps and strolled down the sidewalk until you were out of sight.
The next few weeks followed the same pattern with you staying late a few nights a week or covering a Saturday when Joel was stuck on a job site. You started making dinner most evenings. Whether he made it home early or late, he always seemed exhausted, and you wanted to ease his burden as much as possible. You might have also wondered how many home-cooked meals the pair actually ate when Joel was left in charge of dinner.
You bought a car off another one of your dad’s buddies – a no nonsense sedan just to get you around town with Sarah safely. Some days, while Sarah was at school, you would even do Joel’s food shopping, knowing that he liked to shop at the bulk stores to save money.
Soon, you found yourself staying longer after Joel got home, eager to spend time with him and watch him be a dad. He was such a good one, much like your own, always giving Sarah his full attention and speaking to her with respect and making sure she felt heard. It left you in awe of the man he was and your burgeoning crush quickly, and quite by accident, developed into an affectionate longing for something you couldn’t have.
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“How’s it going with Spud?” your dad asked, taking a swig from the bottle of beer in his hand. Seated at a table on the Miller’s back patio with Joel and Tommy, the men enjoyed a few after-work beers as you and Sarah sat together in the grass nearby.
“Why do you call her that, JB? I always wondered.” Joel questioned in return, curiosity finally getting to him.
You dad laughed, the memories of you as a baby always brought a smile to his face. “She was the chunkiest little potato as a baby, all round with the cutest chipmunk cheeks. The nickname spud just popped into my head and stuck from day one.”
Joel’s chestnut eyes flicked over to watch you during your dad’s explanation, a bubble of guilty warmth building in his gut. He found you immediately attractive when you first met, but now, nearly a month into getting to know and spend time with you, a strong affectionate attraction began to develop. It was wholly against his will, too. You were JB’s daughter – his best friend aside from his brother – and therefore off limits.
Surely him lusting after you broke some guy code, right?
Maybe he just needed to get laid. That would set him straight.
As if reading his mind, JB changed the subject. “Now that you have some help with Sarah, maybe it’s time to get back into the dating world. You need the love of a good woman, son.”
“Yeah, how long’s it been since you had a girlfriend, brother?” Tommy chimed in with a smirk. “A decade?”
The younger brother merely chuckled in response to Joel’s scowl. “I’ve dated, just none of them were good enough to bring home,” he replied, a rough edge to his deep voice. “Sarah’s always come first.”
“As she should.” JB nodded. “I know it ain’t easy being a single dad, but you have to make some room and time for yourself otherwise you’ll go crazy.”
Your dad went on to share some of his experiences with dating as a single dad and how you practically begged him to find a girlfriend when you were a teenager, just so he’d give you some space. After a short while, JB and the Miller men were laughing so hard their eyes were watering. At one point, Joel caught you watching them with a tender smile on your lips and his heart skipped a beat.
“Okay, I guess it’s time to put myself out there,” Joel admitted, forcing his gaze away from you.
“Yeah? I know someone who’d love to go on a date with you!” Tommy declared excitedly, turning to JB. “You know Annica over at the lumber yard? She’s been gagging over this one for ages. I’ll text her to set something up for Saturday night.”
“Sounds like it’s settled then. You’re going on a date, son!”
Joel’s brow furrowed, glancing between your dad and Tommy wondering if he just made a huge mistake.
tbc
Taglist: @mellymbee @untamedheart81 @anoverwhelmingdin @runningmom94 @leilanixx @pedropascalfan221 @lovelyjess69 @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel
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romana-after-dark · 5 months
Text
Room's on Fire: Pilot
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Dark!Santiago Garcia x Fem!Reader Dark!Francisco Morales x Fem!Reader Dark!William Miller x Fem!Reader Dark!Benjamin Miller x Fem!Reader
Also: FishBen, and an assortment of other M/M relationships (no Millercest). Everyone is Bisexual
Series Masterlist: Main Masterlist : MainTaglist
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Summery: The Delta is a commune in the middle of nowhere established by Santiago's mother. Since Divine Mother's passing in a rebellion a decade ago, Santiago, known as The Pope, and his half-God brethren Francisco, Benjamin and William have ran the commune. Now it is time for them to take a collective bride to breed, to bring the savior into the world.
Warnings and Content:
DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT
DUB CON MOSTLY but there WILL BE NON CON. Major character deaths, forced breeding, physical abuse, brainwashing, manipulation, violence, gore, alcoholism/addiction, BIG OLE BLASPHEMY WARNING like this cult appropriates a lot of religious themes and they call reader their Madonna, Santi is called the Pope, like all that stuff. However, this is a cult so I mean. It happens. None of it are my thoughts on religion or meant to make fun of religion or demonize religious people. Disgusting views on virginity. Attempted rape outside the boys. T*m warning. Age gap. Creepy terrible men. Non-reader rape, dub con, violence.
This is not meant to be a statement about religion, Christianity, or Catholicism, this is simply my take on a cult. I am a religious person. I understand that some of this may be very offensive to religious people so if you don't like thing like AHS Asylum or Black Mass, maybe consider not reading.
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"Come on home, girl, he said with a smile You don't have to love me yet, let's get high awhile But try to understand, try to understand Try, try, try to understand That I'm a magic man." ~Magic Man, Heart.
"God dammit Benjamin, what the hell is wrong with you!”
Will smacked Ben upside the head as Frankie chided him.
Ben tried to defend himself. “Hey! You guys act like you don’t sleep with ‘em too, why are you blaming me?”
“You’re fucking a new woman every goddamn week, you have no fucking class, we’re not even supposed to be sleeping with these women,-”
Santiago’s voice, strong and comanding, broke through the bickering. “Gentlemen, please, this is not becoming behavior for Gods.”
With their leader’s command, the other three settled down, Frankie’s eyes casting away. “Sorry, Pope.”
Pushing himself off from the wall he had been leaning against, Santiago walked toward the group. “That can’t be all the options. There’s no way Benny’s made his way through every of age virgin in our compound, we have over 5 thousand people here.”
The men thought through the women they knew, the various families at the massive compound who could accomplish their task. She couldn’t just be a virgin, that was the thing.
They needed their Madonna.
Before her death, Santiago’s mother informed their group that the prophecy would not be fulfilled through Santiago, that he was not the promised savior. Instead, he was destined to lead after her passing and that Santiago, Francisco, William and Benjamin were all demi-Gods. This was a step up for the Millers and Francisco, who had spend their youths in the privileged position of foster brothers to Santiago and living under The Divine Mother’s roof and direct guidance. To Santiago, however, this was a humiliating demotion.
His childhood was never one of whimsy, growing up told that he was a God, that he was the second coming, that he was the savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned… All that changed in his pre-teens. Suddenly, his mother was less pleased with him. His divinity was constantly dangled above his head. When his 20’s came and he failed to be what his mother wanted, she stripped him of his full God-hood.
So why, pray tell, were him and his fellow leaders and brethren searching for a virgin? Since Santiago had failed, they needed to father a new child. A new savior. Divine Mother’s instructions were clear; they were all to wed and breed a virgin from their compound. She was to live in their home as their wife for them to use not only whenever they wanted, but whenever they could. A sacred duty to be fruitful and multiple. It didn’t matter whose child grew in her, as long as there was a child. The world would be saved, and Santiago would earn his mothers favor from the heavens.
So, she couldn’t just be anyone. She needed to be a virgin, pure and holy. She needed to be beautiful, strong, faithful to their ways, faithful to the Divine Mother, faithful to the Pope, William, Benjamin, and Francisco.
“What about Marcus’s kid?’ Will asked, breaking their silence, causing everyone to turn to him.
Frank frowned. “You think the daughter of a traitor is the best option for the Madonna?” The sarcasm was clear. He didn’t like this plan as it was. He didn’t want strangers in their home, breaching security, putting his brothers at risk.
“That might actually be the solution to the problem.” He waited until Pope gestured for him to go on, not immediately shutting it down.
“The rebellion was when she was 12, the interrogations found she had no knowledge of her father’s plans. Ever since, she has been isolated. Lydia says she has caused no problems in the women’s home, been obedient but has no friends, no connections.”
“So you think she’s intact?”
“Santi, I doubt she’d had her first kiss.”
Since the rebellion 10 years ago, Will has set up measures to identify problems before they become something like that, and that meant keeping tabs on people. Single women lived in a few group homes throughout the compound. Each home had prefects that reported to house mothers, and house mothers that reported to Will. Anyone that was of any concern, Will checked in on, that included daughters of rebels.
“And she danced at the fire?” Pope asked, arms still crossed but listening.
Will nodded. “She did. No signs of disloyalty.”
Muttering, Frankie asked Ben if he’d slept with her in recent years.
He shook his head. “Nope. Forgot she existed.”
Frankie watched as Pope thought things through, his mouth shifting.  Frankie asked, “How are the other viable women going to take it if the daughter of a traitor is chosen above them?”
“It doesn’t matter.” Ben said, defensive of Pope. His loyalty to Santiago went above everything. “If she’s the right person, she’s chosen divinely.”
Santiago held up a hand, stopping another argument. “A redemption. She has the option to purify herself from the sins of her father through the pain of childbirth.”
“Biblical precedent…” Will murmured in agreement.
“And if she fails to produce a child, then we can say we were deceived-”
“Like Eve deceived Adam. Damn, Pope, I think it’s a winner.”
Santiago smiled at his fellow leader, clasping his hands together. “Alright, let’s go visit her, make sure she’s suitable.”
*
You were dead. It was over. Lydia had cleared all the other women out of the dormitory room and told you that the Pope and the other divine leaders would be coming to speak privately to you and you assumed that you had slipped up somehow and it was the end for you. You didn’t know what you possibly could have done. You never ever spoke badly about anyone, none the less your beloved leaders! You adored them all, worshipped them as they deserved, as you had Divine Mother…
Had they decided you were too much of a liability after what your father had done? How was that possible, it had been a decade… why now…
You gasp. Fransisco… he was clairvoyant… had he seen into your dream? Had he seen what you saw oh-so often, the dreams that forced you awake crying?
You prepared yourself to grovel, to beg for mercy, to plead that these dreams of fire were not what you wanted, that they tormented you. Would you forever be labeled a traitor for what your father had done? Hadn’t you proved your loyalty to The Delta?
The door opened and you dropped to your knees, silent until spoken too. You can hear Benjamin whisper a damn. The floor creaks in front of where you knelt, arms prostrated out and for a moment, everything stood still. Warm hands were on your chin, guiding you up to see him.
He was so much more stunning up close. You’d heard tales from other girls of the men, of the way they bedded them, how it was glorious, the most holy form of worship to allow them inside you… You had taken note that you had not been allowed that honor, you had accepted it as the punishment for the sins of your birth, you never thought you’d be worthy of close contact, but right now… Pope was touching your face, your chin tucked between his thumb and forefinger; his eyes were so close to yours, his plump lips keep a soft smile. “Do not be afraid, darling girl. If we are correct, you may outshine us all.”
*
“But it is, of course, your choice.”
Your choice…
This phrase was preceded by the reminder that if you said no, there would be no savior.
There was no choice.
“I am a servant to my lords.”
Santiago smiled at that. “Excellent. Now, let’s begin the inspection.”
The what?
“Oh… is it… I swear I am a virgin, I’ve never been touched-”
“I know.” Francisco said. Oh, right. Clairvoyant. “We need to make sure you’re… healthy.”
“Oh. Yes, of course then.”
Francisco undressed you, his calm demeanor and soothing touch eased you as he slowly stripped you of your clothing. He pulled the loose shirt over your body as you raised your hands, the pail bra underneath had a lot of coverage (everything was meant to be practical) but you still felt exposed.
“Just down to her underwear, Francisco.” Will instructed as he watched. Will was a healer, that was his gift.
Francisco pulled down your pants slowly, and you feel eyes scaling you.
“Strip her down fully, Frank.” Ben tells Francisco, and you jolt when you feel his hands on the bare skin on your hips.
Francisco sighs, but Will puts his foot down. “She doesn’t need to be naked, this is invasive enough as it is”
Ben gave a short laugh. “More invasive than fucking her.”
“BEN!” All three of them shouted, discomfort and fears coursing through your body.
“Pope, she’s shaking.” Francisco asserts with his hands on your shoulders and you watch Pope give Ben a look.
“You behave, your brother knows what he’s doing.” He turns to Will, jerking his head at you. “Handle it.”
Will approaches you, his hands on your face. He holds you different than Pope, more firm, more all-encompassing. Will’s hands were larger, and he placed them at the side of your head, like he was holding you together. “Hey, it’s alright. It’s like a medical examination, okay?”
You nod within his grasp. “Okay.”
He smiled at you. “Good girl. I’m going to touch you, just stand there and take it. Trust me.”
You did. You’d follow him anywhere if he spoke like that. His hands move down your neck, slowly over your shoulders and down your arms, sending a chill through your body. He squeezed your hands. “Doing so good princess. Gonna check your backside now, can you straighten up for me?” You square your shoulders as he walks around, towering over you. You lock eyes with Ben; he looks hungry, like he’s ready to pounce but smiling at you with his boyish charm you can’t help wonder what that pounce would feel like. Ben had slept with almost every girl in your dormitory, and you’d been privy to all kinds of colorful descriptions as you overheard girls talking. Not to you. Never to you.
Will rubbed his hands together and breathed on them to aid the warmth before placing his fingertips at the top-most part of your back. Slowly, he dragged 8 fingers down, applying pressure, sending a tingling down your spine as his fingers traced it. “Excellent posture, just need to check a few things.” His hands went back up, fingers bracing at your sides as his thumbs searched certain spots, rubbing over aching parts of you with pressure, but not pain.
“Got a few knots.” Will comment’s, and you turn slight back towards him, suddenly scared.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“No, no. Nothing to worry about. Just means you’re stressed. It hurt there sometimes?”
He continued massaging you, your next words coming out with a moan. “Yeah.”
“I know it does, sweet girl. Don’t you worry, I’ll help you take care of that. You will be my wife, after all.”
The thought brings a small smile to your face. The smile falters when his hands wrap around your front, William’s body pressed up against your back. His hands are pressing into your stomach, making their way up until he cups your breast, a small groan escaping his mouth that had somehow found its way into your hair.
“She likes that.” You here Ben say, drawing your attention, his grin made you swell with pride. You’d spoken with him before; Benjamin knew all the women. Still, he never chose you to bed and you had thought you weren’t appealing but now, now you see it. Now, as Ben began to touch himself over his pants as he watched his brother examine your body, you realize you were meant for a higher purpose. You were being saved, protected, put on a pedestal for this moment, to be the mother of their child, to be their Madonna.
Will continued him ministrations, soft grunts as he ground his hips into your ass. You can se his eyes are locked in with Pope. Pope, is watching the scene with hooded eyes and parted lips. With a soft but powerful moan, Will stilled behind you, panting a soft kiss on your neck before his fingertips trails your panty line. “Now, for the vaginal exam.”
All the pleasure you felt stops, your body freezing up again. “B-but, you said I wouldn’t-”
William turned you around to face him. “I have to check out your privates, gotta make sure you’re safe. It’s just me, it’s just external, don’t worry. We’ll face away.” He knelt down.
You were acutely aware your ass was still out for the other men when you heard Ben groan when your underwear is pulled down, the distinct sound of him summoning Francisco, who had been quiet so far, and the unzipping of pants.
“Goddamn…” He says, notching your legs so they spread and lifting one foot so it is resting on his bent knee. He touched your sensitive skin. “Pope, you gotta see this… the girls wet.”
“But-” I wanted to protest that he had said it would only be him, but there was no point. Soon, you’d be married, and they be able to have you as much as they wanted.
“Holy shit, she’s dripping…” Pope marvels as the slick running down your thighs.
Will continues prodding at you, fingers running through your glistening folds. In the background was a sound you couldn’t quiet pinpoint, and something that sounded like kissing, but who would be kissing? There was only Ben and Francisco there. Will dips his finger slightly inside your hole, making you gasp.
“Careful.” Pope warned. “She needs to stay intact.”
“I know.” Will groans. “But she’s so fucking tight, Pope.”
A muffled but strong groan behind you, and Pope looks like he’s about to fall apart when he pulls away.
“William, Franisco, Ben. Go to Lydia, tell her the wedding will be at her next ovulation.”
The men reluctantly made their exit leaving Pope alone in the room with you. He pulled up your underwear and pants before helping you back into your shirt. “You are perfect.” He grabbed your face again, pinching your chin and guiding you to look up at him. “Pack only personal items. You’ll have new clothing, everything will be taken care of. From now on, as long as you are what we need you to be, whatever you need, you’ll have.”
He leans in and you open your mouth to him, beautifully alluring, gifting him your first kiss and the spark was ignited. He was everything now.
“My Madonna.”
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WE'RE LIVE! So excited to do this, I was a little too excited, I didn't wait until january like i said lol. After this I'm gonna try and finish Blessed be the Fruit and Awakening before going forward which shouldnt be long
PLEEAASEEEE LMK YOU'RE THOTS AND THEORIES!!!!
Special thanks to my BELOVED @hon3yboy for encouraging me so fucking hard with this series!!! she is so wonderful and has written great work including WEREWOLF MARC SPECTOR!!!!
How to keep up with the story!
Comment on this masterlist that you want to be tagged and I'll tag you in updates (If you ask to be tagged, I ask you at least like the fic. Likes dont do anything to spread the work, but it at least lets me know you're still reading.)
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TAGLIST:
@hon3yboy @winniethewife @femmeanonymelives @yorksgirl @pockcock @neverwheremoonchild @casa-boiardi @meveispunk @survivingandenduring @criticalarchitecture @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog @obscurexsorrows @hellfire-state-of-mind @christinamadsen @pimosworld @princessanglophile @rubyfruitjungle @simple-lovebot @missdictatorme @campingwiththecharmings @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @javier-penas-wifexx420 @stefani-topaz @alwaysmicado
if I missed you LMK!!!!
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r3starttt · 5 months
Text
Mizpah
a/n: last part of Don’t delete the kisses (most likely) This series was all I’ve ever wanted to make. I’m so proud of myself 🙁🤞
Prt 1 | Prt 2 | Prt 3
Warnings: little bit of angst ig? fluff. mentions of homophobia. Sad-soft sex!!! don’t need details just read it (oral r! receiving. fingering e! receiving. scissoring)
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“With eyes shut its you I’m thinking of. Eye to eye, thigh to thigh. I let go”
“I’d like to take you out
And afterwards make out
Instead, I’m typing you a message
Delete the kisses at the end
When I see you the whole world reduces
To just a room
Me and you were meant to be
In love
I see the sighs of a lifetime, you ‘til I die”
It had been a week since you last saw Ellie. A week of you crying nonstop every single day, all day. A week of trying to ignore her messages and calls and going out just to not see her or know anything about her.
Not because you hate her, not because the pain she made you feel that day. But because all she confessed.
You feared you could have a bad impact for her and her life and maybe that’s why you two just can’t be together.
And you feared that it you were right then something bad could happen to her if you tried to force this whole situation.
Because you’ve never loved somebody this much and she’s never felt this loved. And you two were just made for each other in all possible ways but maybe it was all a cruel trick from the universe. Maybe it was some sort of karma you had to pay. Some sort of temptation god was giving you.
And as much as you wanted to just give in, you didn’t want Ellie to pay for your decisions anymore. Not her or her family.
You were just as confused and mad as she was. And it took you so long to figure out what to do and how to do it.
Should you move out again and pretend nothing happened? Should you stay and just avoid her? Were you even something oficial? Could you ask her to brake up if that was the case?
-
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-
The moment you opened the door, before you could even react or speak or even blink. Her arm’s extended around you, so tightly and desperately.
As you could you extended your arms to close the door.
“I’m so sorry, so so sorry. Please forgive me” her teary voice felt like bullets on your skin. It was so painful to see her like this, to know that she’s like this because of you.
“Ellie…. It’s okay, we’re good” your hands moved gently over her back, making small circles with both your thumbs and palms.
“I don’t want to lose you again, please don’t leave me” but what if leaving her was what’s best for both?
“We can’t stay together El, you know that” were you too harsh?
She practically pushed you away. Her eyes were all red and puffy, she’d been crying probably as much as you.
“What do you mean?” the way her tone changed so suddenly made you regret it all, but you couldn’t do that just now “There’s always something separating us, keeping us apart. Maybe we’re not supposed to be together”
She denied your words with her head, stepping closer to you. “We’re just supposed to fight harder”
“Ellie, if I stay with you then your family’s gonna-“
“I already chose you over them, you can’t do this”
She was right
“Is it because of what I say? I was being stupid I know, I didn’t understand but now I do and I’m so sorry I called you all those things. I care for you but I was so mad at being left alone I didn’t realize it would’ve been selfish If I made you stay. I didn’t realize about how much you’ve done for me.” the grip of her hands shaky hands entangled with yours got tighter. She looked so desperate, she was holding you desperately. “And I wanna make it up to you, I wanna stay with you and take care of you and accomplish everything we couldn’t before”
Everything you’ve been planning for a whole week was completely erased from you by her words. How could you even think of leaving her again? How could you choose anything else than to be with her?
Maybe that’s why you never end together, because your love for her is so strong that you get blinded by it and just run away. Because her love for you is so strong that she can’t let you go and when you do she can’t forgive herself.
Because your bond is so strong none of you know how to handle it.
You let go of her hands, moving yours to her face. Your thumbs moving against her red tainted cheeks, making small circles on each side of her face. Your eyes lost, wandering all over her face. Looking at her pretty watery eyes, her nose and cheeks covered in those freckles you adored so much, and her chapped lips, so tempting.
The urge was bigger than anything else, so your lips crashed on hers. Both felt so eager of each other, desperate to feel each other’s touch, the softness of your bodies together. You missed the way her body fitted so perfectly against yours. She missed the way her body was the perfect size for yours.
But as much as there was urge and a carnal desire that screamed desperately to be full-filled, you still needed to apologize, to let her know you would never leave. And she still needed the comfort, the reassurance she’s been waiting for her whole life.
So your lips pressed against her one las time.
“You did nothing wrong, none of us did” your breaths were mixing, brushing each others lips “I promise you…. I won’t leave again, I know none of us will”
Ellie felt so dizzy, so enamored. Your words were all the comforting she’d been craving for so long. It felt like a direct hug to her heart, like a cure to all worries she could ever have.
So tender. Just what you both needed.
Nothing else mattered anymore, but you and her and the love that could be felt as something tangible. So loud and warm and fuzzy in between the two of you.
Her fingers tugged at the hem of your shirt. Your lips were already dancing with hers, such a merciful hungry rhythm.
Your tongues slowly mixing in between the kiss. Both giving clumsy steps to your room, where she’s never been before but she’d dreamed of it.
Your hands moving all over her back, from her waist to her shoulders, then to her neck and stopping right were her hair ends. Desperate of feeling every inch of her body, of pulling her closer if that was even possible.
Hers, gently getting under your shirt, shyly touching your bare skin and sending shivers to your whole body at the sudden touch of her calloused cold fingers.
Small giggles and smiles appearing in between the kiss. You had your eyes closed but could imagine the dorky expression on her face.
And you both stopped the moment you crashed with your bed, making small laughs come from both of your sticky lips.
“What am I supposed to do now?” a giggle escaped from your mouth, looking straight to her eyes. They had a sparkle you’ve never seen before. And god, her smile just radiated so much love it made you unconsciously dumb, so in love. You whispered back “just let your body figure it out for you”
She obeyed, her hands finally moved to your upper body. Fingers wandering over the costure of your bra. Her lips were pressed on your skin, leaving wet kisses from the corner of your lips to your clavicle. Covering your neck and your jawline in them.
You hummed at her touch. Letting her explore and savor your body first. Your huffed moans reassuring her to take the lead.
“I love you” kiss “so much” kiss. It made you smile.
Her hands slowed moved to your clothes again, taking them off of you with the most precious look you could ever see on her face. And you did the same, removing each piece of clothing that was covering your bodies, leaving the both of you complete bare at the other sight.
The white curtains that adorned the windows of your room letting the radiant rays of sun enter just right, covering you both in such a delicious warm.
She embraced you tightly, guiding you to your bed and making you lay under her body. Her arms pressed in the mattress, right next to you. Her legs intertwined with yours, rubbing them against your skin.
You kissed her again, so gently and pure and making her moan at your touch. Your hands caressing her arms, waiting for her to move at her pleasing.
And she did. Her hands found their way to your thighs, spreading them and moving your legs around her.
She started to grind her clit with yours at a slow speed, trying to find the needy angle for both and the right rhythm. You can feel her nuzzling in your neck, hearing loud moans at every move she makes.
Ellie’s movements slowly started to speed up, making you whimper at the feeling of your sticky and wet cunts rubbing together. She was practically ramming against you at this point.
But right as a knot of pleasure started to form on your stomach she stopped.
She left sloppy kisses on your body as she went down your cunt. Hands gripping around your thighs and eyes roaming in between your body and your pretty face.
Lips licking and kissing your hardened nipples, leaving the wetness of her saliva stick on them. Biting and sucking on your skin, leaving almost unnoticeable bruises all the way to your stomach and around your breasts.
Hands caressing the sides of your legs until she was finally in between them, extending her arms to hold your hands. Her nose rubbing on your clit and her tongue deep in between your folds, moaning at the sweet taste of them and smiling at your pretty whimpers.
She flavored every bit of it. Making small circles around your puffy bud, licking every wet space in between your folds, teasing your arousal and finally rubbing her tongue deep inside you, thrusting her tongue in and out of you repeatedly.
Your room was now filled with loud vulgar and wet sounds, it made the two of you feel so fervent and carnal. So lost in the craving and focused on the pleasure.
Her tongue moved so brusque yet so delicately on your cunt. Making you crave for more of her and causing you to feel overwhelmed at the abruptly wave of pleasure that increased nonstop over your whole body, blinding your vision and thoughts.
"F-Fuck El…. I'm-" your words were interrupted by a strong feeling of ecstasy running through your body, your legs weakened and your stomach felt so tight, covered in a tickling sensation that felt just like a bliss. Her tongue cleaned every juice that came out of your core, so insatiable and still craving for more.
She crawled back to you, leaving a soft kiss on your temple. You smiled at the sight of her lips, covered in your flavor. And her forehead with a small coat of sweat appearing.
To her you looked so fucking gorgeous right now, with a few baby hairs stuck to your forehead, half-lidded eyes that still managed to have that doe look in them. Still trying to catch your breath.
Your hand moved to her cunt now, rubbing small circles on her clit and smiling at the delightful sight you had in front of you. Curved eyebrows, slightly scrunched nose and her mouth partly opened a shuffled moans escaped from them.
She was so wet, so soft. It felt delicious.
You sped up your movements, assaulting her cunt and hitting just the right spots. And god she sounded so pretty, her small whimpers covering your ears and the way her hands tugged tightly on your sheets, running her hands through your hair, so desperate and overwhelmed by pleasure.
The way she clenched around your fingers, the way she felt so wet, the way she tried to rub herself on you, to have more contact with your skin. The way she closed her eyes when your fingers went deeper, the way she bit her lips trying to hush her whimpers. Everything about her right now was so mouth-watering.
So you kissed her, burying your fingers on her core, making her moan at your lips. She tried to speak but your lips pressed in her and the way pleasure was taking all in her body didn’t allow her to. But you understood.
And just like that you thrusted your fingers for the last time, in and out a few more times after she’d came.
But your lips kept pressed on hers, until she had to move away to recover her breath, making you laugh.
She looked so pretty.
And so did you.
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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 8 months
Text
Nothing Compares 2 You
Pairing: RockstarEddieMunsonxReader
Request: Thank you to @munsonfire for this request and for allowing me the use of her edit! I love emotional drama and you are very good at it (as you are very good at everything else). Eddie has to leave town because he's becoming famous and they break up. They still love each other after all these years, but they've never spoken to each other. Eddie may have had many girls in his life, she may have always followed him in the tabloids and thought he had forgotten about her. somehow, by chance, they might see each other again... when she thought she'd never see him again?
Word Count: 7.5K
18+ ONLY
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“I don’t understand why we’re going to Rockefeller Center in October,” you mused, walking along with your best friends, Nancy and Robin. “Isn’t seeing the massive Christmas tree and ice skating the whole point of Rockefeller Center?”
Nancy sighed, looping her arm through yours, “Yes, but the whole area is full of shops and great restaurants. We can do a little shopping and grab a late lunch.  And how can we travel to New York City and not see Rockefeller Center?”
You shrugged. The three of you were having a girls long weekend in New York City. Only Nancy would want her bachelorette party to be a weekend of Broadway, culture, and history. The three of you had seen Anna Kerenina last night and it had been amazing. You’d also gone to Central Park, gone to the top of the Empire State Building, seen Times Square, and gone to The Met. Tomorrow was supposed to be the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. 
Jonathan had popped the question last Christmas and your two friends were getting married in November. They were keeping the wedding fairly small. You and Robin were the only bridesmaids. Jonathan’s brother, Will, and his friend, Argyle, were the groomsman. The guys were doing a camping weekend, inviting along the rest of the crew. Jonathan and Nancy were not interested in the usual partying or strippers and while it may seem odd to most, you thought it was actually kind of refreshing.
As you approached Rockefeller center, you smiled. It was a perfect fall day, a world of color and warmth. The leaves were changing, the trees blazing in shades of red and orange. The sky was a clear, bright blue and you could sense the excitement in the air, the city vibrant and full of life. It felt like walking through a painting, every corner you turned a new picture full of beauty and wonder. 
“Oh!” Robin squealed, darting away from the two of you. “They have thrift stores!”
“Oh boy,” you laughed, you and Nancy shaking your heads at each other as you followed Robin into ‘The City Opera Thrift Shop.’ 
Robin looked like a kid in a candy store as she perused the mish mash of clothing on racks, sorted by size and then color. Robin was not a shopping kind of girl unless you got her into a thrift store. The girl loved nothing more than quirky and cheap. Growing up in a family that had to pinch every penny had taught her to be frugal. You loved her sense of fashion because it was so uniquely her. 
You meandered over to a rack of concert shirts, pushing them back one by one. Band tees were your go-to on weekends and oversized ones made the best pajamas. Used ones already had that soft, worn, washed feeling, leaving you from having to break them in. You pulled out a Black Crowes one, holding it up to yourself and your entire body froze, as if ice water had been dumped over your head, when you caught sight of the shirt that had been hiding behind it. 
A strangled sob lodged in your throat, cutting off your air supply, your hand moving on its own in slow motion. Your fingers gripped the side, running over the black cotton. Your eyes devoured the jagged lettering, like words carved into wood. You knew it intimately because you’d been the one who had drawn it years ago in high school. 
It was from their first tour, four years ago, in 1988. Your eyes slipped closed as you swallowed hard, forcing the sob down, locking it back into the dark box you tried to keep everything that had to do with him trapped in. But the image of him, those big brown eyes pleading with you to understand that he had to go, begging you to come with him, flashed behind your lids and your eyes shot open against the assault to your heart. 
“Hey, are you ready to go?” Robin called from the front of the store, a large bag hanging off of her arm. 
“Uh…yeah…” you cried out, shoving the Black Crowes shirt back in front of the shirt you wished you’d never seen, covering it up the same way you’d covered up everything to do with him. Out of sight, out of mind. At least that was how it was supposed to work.
Who were you kidding? That had never been how it had worked. How could it when he was everywhere you looked? His music videos were all over MTV, he was on every show doing interviews and performances, and forget about going to a store. That face that had haunted you for five years was plastered across every magazine. 
He clearly wasn’t thinking about you. He’d moved on, being pictured with a different woman on his arm every week. Making out with some supermodel at a party, having lunch with the hottest young actress in Hollywood, or catching some groupie’s panties on stage. The man had gotten what he’d always wanted. He was a rockstar, known across the world. He was the guy every woman wanted to fuck. He was the guy every guy wanted to be. He’d gotten out of Hawkins, away from their small minded ignorance, away from you. 
“Hey, you okay?” asked Nancy, her eyes narrowing in concern as you followed them out of the store. 
“Yeah,” you replied, forcing a smile on your face, “I’m good. So, what’s next?”
“More shopping, obviously,” giggled Nancy. “I need to find something for my mom. She’s always wanted to come to New York so I want to get her something very New York but not like the silly tourist stuff, you know? No snowglobes or keychains. I want to find her something cool.”
“Okay, well, then let’s get on it,” you stated, relieved to have a mission to focus your energy on to keep you from slipping down into that dark hole. That dark hole you’d disappeared down for six months after he’d left, that dark hole you swore you wouldn’t allow to swallow you anymore.
You spent the next hour and half in and out of stores, Nancy insisting nothing was right for her mom. You’d pointed out hand painted bags, shirts, paintings of the skyline, but nothing seemed to be right. Just as you were getting ready to give up for now and grab some lunch, Nancy gasped, pointing ahead. 
“The NBC Studios shop!” she squealed. “My mom loves Jay Leno. Her and Dad were so upset when Carson was leaving but they wound up loving Leno. They watch it every single night. I bet I could find her something there.”
She grabbed onto yours and Robin’s hands and dragged you through the doors of the shop before instantly abandoning you to peruse all the merchandise. You looked over at Robin and shrugged, the two of you splitting up to browse yourselves. There was an entire section of merchandise just for popular shows on the channel.
You picked up an X-men mug, thinking Dustin would love it but you quickly put it back. If you bought him something that would be an avalanche of spending you couldn’t stop or afford. You couldn’t get him something without bringing something back for all of them. You’d never hear the end of it from Mike, Lucas, or Max if you got Dustin something and not them. Will would be gracious about it. El would probably be confused as to why she should care. Steve would definitely give you shit, offended, claiming you loved Dustin more than him. 
Just as Nancy walked over, triumphant, with a mug and a shirt, you turned, your attention caught by a cavalcade of dark SUVs pulling up in front of the building. Your two friends spun to see what had caught your eye and Nancy sucked in a sharp breath. 
“Oh…I bet it’s someone famous. Someone who’s going to be on the Tonight Show or something. Who do you think it is?”
You shrugged, “How would I know? I don’t want it. Do either of you know who’s supposed to be on tonight?”
Robin shook her head, “No idea. Nancy, you said your parents watch it every night.”
“They do, but I don’t. I mean, I have here and there when someone I like is going to be on. But I haven’t watched tv all week so I haven’t even seen a preview. I was too busy with wedding plans and getting ready to leave for our trip.”
You watched curiously as a big guy in a suit with an earpiece came around the side of the SUV and pulled the door open. A familiar mop of curly dishwater blond hair appeared first, followed by the sweet face of one of your favorite people in the world. It should have filled you with pleasure to see him again, the guy who’d always treated you like a little sister, but instead a sense of dread seeped into your body. No. It couldn’t be. Because if he was here, then that meant…
You were falling, slipping sideways, as your world tilted on its axis at the sight of him climbing out of the SUV. Those coffee hued eyes were concealed by a large pair of sunglasses but you didn’t need to see them because they were forever imprinted on your brain. He looked so damn good, of course he did. In place of his usual ripped jeans and leather jacket, he wore a fitted brown suit, a white dress shirt unbuttoned just enough to provide you a peek of his chest.
“Oh shit,” muttered Robin. 
“Hey…hey…” Nancy called out next to you, her hand holding your bicep in a vice grip, as if she were scared you’d collapse which was a very real possibility at this moment. “Hey, you okay?”
You couldn’t answer. You had no air. Your throat tightened, your lungs were paralyzed, unable to pull in precious oxygen. You were trapped, suffocating under the weight of memories, memories you’d buried deep but that now broke free, flashing before your mind like a slideshow of pain. Eddie winking at you from the stage at the Hideout, him leaning against your locker after class, lying in the back of his van sharing a joint, sitting on his bed as he worked on a new song, dancing at prom, the day he left…image after image attacked you, a knife slicing into you over and over, leaving you bleeding and helpless. 
“I…no…I can’t…” you whimpered, shaking your head, taking small steps backwards as if you could run from him, as if he wasn’t about to come through the exact entrance you would need to escape. 
“Hey, calm down. It’s okay,” Nancy urged but her words fell on deaf ears. 
You were drowning, everything muffled, the lights were too bright. You couldn’t breathe. Your hands clawed at the neck of your shirt, a v-neck, which was in no way hindering anything but it felt like it. Your clothes felt restricting, too tight, caging you in. 
One of the large men pushed open the door as two others flanked Eddie, leading him through it. Gareth, Jeff, and Grant came behind him, each with their own bodyguards. Jesus, there must have been twelve guys with them, covering them on all sides, the front, and the back, ensuring no one was getting close to them. That was fine. There wasn’t anything you wanted less.
As they passed in front of the gift shop’s floor to ceiling windows, you took two more steps back, bumping into a mannequin, sending it crashing to the floor along with a display of drinking glasses. A clerk glared over at you with a sigh, coming over to assess the damage. But that wasn’t what you were focusing on as Eddie’s head turned toward the sound. He stilled, pulling the sunglasses off his face, and there was those eyes, going wide as he took in the sight of you standing in the middle of the shop. 
“Shit…no…no, no, no, no…” you pleaded, eyes darting from one side to the other, desperately seeking a way out of this situation but there was none unless you were willing to run past him.
“It’s okay, just breathe. It’s okay.” Nancy’s hands rubbed over your arms, attempting to soothe but only succeeding in making you even more agitated. 
You shrugged her off as Eddie leaned into one of his bodyguards, whispering something in his ear. You were frozen, your feet stuck to the floor as the burly guy nodded and followed Eddie, pulling the door open. Suddenly the man you’d only seen in pictures and on television for the last five years was standing in front of you and you wished the Earth would open up and swallow you whole. 
“Princess? Robin? Nancy? What are you three doing in New York?” Eddie asked, his sunglasses held between his thumb and forefinger, his eyes never leaving yours. He looked as if he had seen a ghost, as if you were a mirage. 
“Girl’s weekend before my wedding,” answered Nancy when you hadn’t responded. 
“Wedding?” Eddie’s eyebrows lifted, but still he didn’t look at her, his eyes glued on you as if you would disappear if he looked away. “You and Jonathan?”
“Yeah. He popped the question last Christmas,” she replied. “So, how’s the rockstar life?”
“Huh? Oh…uh, you know.” He shrugged. “Very rockstar.” His head tilted, those brown eyes threatening to pull you under, to consume you entirely. You wanted to look away but you couldn’t. “I can’t believe you’re here. I, well, I have to do this Tonight Show thing. It could take a few hours but would you want to come to my hotel after?”
His hotel? Was he serious? There was no way you could trust yourself alone in a room with him. Your body reacted to him, remembered him, his fingertips an imprint on your skin. This man who had known you more intimately than anyone else had in your entire life. This man who had been your first. This man who you’d thought would be your only before he shattered your heart. 
Robin’s hand wrapped around yours, sensing the distress your body was under as Nancy stepped in front of you. Your friends who had been there, who had witnessed that dark time in your life, who had been the ones to pull you back from the edge just as you were ready to plummet into the abyss. 
“How about you give us the information and let her think about it?” Nancy offered.
“Princess?” Eddie asked, concerned, his face peering around Nancy to find you again but this time you looked away. “Look, I just want to talk. I haven’t seen you in…god, it’s been…”
“Five years,” you mumbled, shocked at the sound of your own voice. 
“I know,” he said softly. “Trust me. I know exactly how long it’s been. Look, if you tell me where you’re staying, I can have my driver pick you up. Or if you’d prefer, I can come to you. Just tell me your hotel and room number and I can come over after. I can bring dinner or we can order something or we can go out somewhere if that would make you more comfortable.”
“Look, Eddie,” Robin began, stepping into him, forcing him to step back. “She’s a bit overwhelmed at seeing you. I’m sure you can understand that.”
“I can because I feel exactly the same. I just want to talk.”
“Well, maybe she does and maybe she doesn’t but maybe you need to take a step back and give her some time to process all of this,” Nancy suggested calmly. “Give us your information and she can have a couple hours to decide what she wants to do.”
But you knew what you wanted. Of course you knew. There hadn’t been a choice from the moment you’d seen Gareth, knowing Eddie was not far behind. Seeing the man you’d been hopelessly in love with years after he left left you in a flurry of mixed emotions. You were both overjoyed to see that face you’d adored so much and overcome with old memories and thoughts of what could have been if he’d never left. A tug-of-war between the past and the present, battling for your heart with such force you feared it would rip in two. 
Yet, even with all the conflict inside you, there was never any doubt of what you would do if given the choice. Wasn’t this the exact kind of situation you’d fantasized about endless times? Running into him, him missing you, him telling you that you’d always been the only one for him, that he still loved you.
“Room 1562 at The Mayfair,” you said, all three heads turning to look at you as you inhaled deeply and brought your eyes back to his face. “And you can bring food. That’s fine.”
“I’ll see you in a few hours then,” Eddie said, giving you that smile that swept your feet out from under you every damn time. “I can’t wait. Thank you, princess.”
Blinking back tears, you walked past him, past his slack jawed bandmates, ignoring Gareth when he called out to you, and out of the building. You weren’t trying to be bitchy but you had to get out of there. If you didn’t get some fresh air to your brain, you were going to pass out. Stopping on the sidewalk, you gulped in precious oxygen, wondering what in the hell you’d just gotten yourself into.
The door flew open, your two best friends flying out and running over to your side. Nancy’s hand came to your back. Robin’s arm locked around yours, the two of them guiding you away from the building, understanding that you needed distance. 
“Holy shit…holy shit…” Robin gasped. “I cannot believe that just happened. Are you okay?”
“I had no idea. I am so sorry,” Nancy crooned, her hand making soothing circles over your back. “Who would have thought of all the weekends in the year, the one we chose to come to New York, Eddie would be here?”
“Not me,” you managed, a nervous giggle, frantic and squeaky exploding from you. 
“Honey, are you sure you want to do this?” Nancy questioned. 
“Yeah. If you’re rethinking this, we can go get our stuff and check out right now. We can switch hotels. He’ll never know where to find us,” Robin told you. “You don’t have to see him if you don’t want to.”
“No…no…I do,” you assured them, slowly coming down from the very near panic attack you’d just experienced. “I do. I want to see him. I want to talk to him. It’s okay. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be painful but maybe it will also be good.”
“Good? Do you remember how you were after he left? Because we do,” Robin commented, one eyebrow lifting. “You don’t have to subject yourself to that again.”
“I know. I know. But he’s not a bad guy. He didn’t try to hurt me. He had an amazing opportunity and he couldn’t pass it up. And I am happy for him. Really, I am. It sucked but he’s not the bad guy. There is no bad guy in this story. It was an impossible situation. I’ll be okay. I was just taken by surprise. It was unexpected but I am expecting him to show up later so it will be fine.” Her two friends eyebrows lifted, eyes narrowed, lips pursed. “Seriously, it will be fine.”
____________________________________________________________
It wasn’t fine. Nothing about this was fine. You paced across the floor of your hotel room as you’d been doing for the last hour. You had no idea when he was arriving. How long did a taping for The Tonight Show take? Why would you know that? You had no experience in the world of celebrity. Maybe he wasn’t coming at all. Maybe he’d thought about it and realized that he didn’t need to waste his time seeing you. He had gorgeous women throwing themselves at him all the time. Why would he sacrifice an evening with a supermodel to hang out with his average ex-girlfriend from small town Hawkins?
This was ridiculous. Why had you agreed to this? What good was seeing him going to do? Just the sight of the man had brought on a panic attack, a shirt with his band’s name had sent you spiraling down the rabbit hole of sadness. Didn’t you know this? How many times had you lost track of time, disappearing into memories when you’d spotted his face on a magazine cover at the store? 
No, you definitely should not have given him your hotel information. You should have said it was nice to see him, good luck with his appearance, and then left. Polite but keeping everything casual. You hadn’t been anything to him for five years. Five years was a long time. He’d obviously moved on. What did it say about you that you hadn’t?
Sure, you’d dated. You had that thing with Dylan that lasted for a year but it ended eight months ago when he confronted you, demanding to know if you were in love with him and you couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. You wanted to be in love with him. You wanted to be able to give someone else your heart fully but it had never belonged to you. It wasn’t yours to give. Your heart was currently touring the world and maybe it was time you got it back. Maybe that was what this meeting would do for you. You could finally sever that string, take back what was yours so you could move on and give it to someone else. 
A sharp knock on your door paused your thoughts, your feet skidding to a stop on the carpet. Your entire body responded to the possibility of Eddie on the other side of that door, heart racing, lungs rushing, the hair on your arms raising. Closing your eyes, you took in a slow inhale through your nose and then calmly walked over, opening it. 
“Oh!” you shrieked in surprise to find one of the large bodyguards standing on the other side. He pushed past you and began looking around the room, checking in closets, under the bed, and in the bathroom.
Eddie shrugged, smiling sheepishly at you, “Sorry about this. They’re very serious about my safety.”
The bodyguard appeared content that nothing was lurking in your room to attack his charge. He gave Eddie a small nod, saying, “Jack and I will be right outside the door.”
“How about just down the hall, man?” Eddie suggested. “A little privacy, maybe?”
The big man did not appear happy about it but he nodded, “Just down the hall. We’ve given very strict instructions that no one is to be allowed onto this floor until you leave, unless they are being escorted by James. He’s down in the lobby.”
“Got it. I feel very safe,” Eddie assured him, closing the door behind him. He turned to you, eyes rolling, hooking his thumb toward the door. “These guys are so fucking annoying but management insists. I had a stalker situation last year and ever since then, I’ve gone nowhere without Mr. Tall and Surly.”
“You had a stalker?” you asked, a weight weighing heavy in your stomach at the thought of him being in any danger. 
Eddie shook his head with a snort, wild brown waves tossing around as he began unpacking a large brown bag onto the table, “It was nothing. Seriously. Some twenty year old who had convinced herself that we were destined to be or something. She sent notes and flowers. It was all harmless at first until she managed to figure out where we were staying and I got back late one night to her hiding in my closet.” He chuckled darkly, opening containers, the smell of Italian food permeating the room. “Scared the shit out of me, let me tell you. But she didn’t have any weapons or anything. She wasn’t trying to hurt me. She just wanted to convince me we were soulmates. Hotel security showed up and escorted her out. Poor thing was clearly struggling with some kind of mental illness. I tried to convince CJ, our manager, that it wasn’t a big deal but ever since then he’s been adamant that we have a security detail.”
“Well, better safe than sorry,” you sighed, moving over to sit across from him at the table as he took a seat. “I mean, stalker situations can be very scary. You’re lucky she wasn’t out to hurt you.”
“I guess.” He held up a container of chicken alfredo. “This still your favorite?”
“Uh…yeah,” you nodded, smiling as he scooped down on your plate, along with garlic bread. “Thanks.”
“Well, I was trying to figure out what to grab and then I remembered how much you love Italian food. You always picked Enzo’s for your birthday dinner. You still go there every year?”
“No. I don’t. This past birthday, I actually went out of town for my dinner to a new Thai place in Indy. Dylan didn’t really like…” You stopped, pressing your lips together. Shit. Why had you mentioned Dylan? And no, you hadn’t stepped foot in Enzo’s in five years. That had been your and Eddie’s place. You couldn’t stand the thought of going in there without him.
“Dylan?” asked Eddie, not missing a beat. He sat up, leaning back in his chair, legs spreading wide, those ring clad fingers running over his thighs as he looked at you. “Is he your boyfriend?”
“He was.”
“Was? What happened?”
You swallowed hard. This was not a topic you wanted to be discussing with him. But you’d been the one to open the flood gates, to stick your big old foot in your mouth.
“We broke up,” you replied with a shrug. “It wasn’t really going anywhere, you know? He was nice. I liked him. But he asked me if I was in love with him and I just…I couldn’t lie. So, he ended it. It was probably for the best anyway.” You needed to change the subject before he had you admitting things you did not want. “So, anyway, who cares about me? I’m still living the same boring life in Hawkins. I want to know about you, the big rockstar.”
Eddie flushed, those cheeks turning bright ride as he grabbed onto his hair, bringing it across his mouth. Your heart tugged, remembering how he did this when he was embarrassed or uncomfortable. 
“It’s not as amazing as it sounds. I mean, it is. I love playing music for a living. I love being in the recording studio, working through the kinks with the guys, that moment when we finally get it right. There is nothing like standing on that stage, a sea of people screaming for you, singing your songs back at you. That part is…there really are no words. But the rest of it, all the interviews, the photo shoots, the required appearances at different functions, that’s just all the extra shit that I have to do to keep management happy. Sleeping in a different town every night gets exhausting. Sometimes I really do lay back at night and dream of my simple life back in Hawkins…sometimes I dream about that last night, laying next to you under the stars. I’ve missed you, princess.”
You swallowed, emotion threatening to choke you at his words, “Eddie…”
“What?”
“Don’t, okay? Please don’t.”
“Don’t what? Tell you that I miss you?”
“I can’t do this,” you whispered, closing your eyes and shaking your head, tears building up behind your eyelids. “I can’t. You have no idea. You have no idea what it was like for me when you left. You have no idea how hard it was.”
“But I do know how hard it was,” he argued, reaching for your hand but you pulled it back quickly. “I know exactly how hard it was because it was hard for me too.”
“Really? It was hard for you,” you challenged, eyes opening to glare at him. “It must have been really hard to have those models suctioned to your lips, to have your hand up the skirt of beautiful actresses you were dining with, to be sleeping with a different girl every night. I saw all the photos, Eddie. Your epic love life has graced the pages of many magazines.”
His eyes widened, nostrils flaring, “Yeah, okay? I’ve had a pretty healthy sex life since I left. I was a goddamn mess for a while. I was burying myself in other women because I was trying to forget you.”
“Well, good for you. I’m glad that worked for you! Because nothing ever worked for me!” you cried, jumping up so hard you knocked the chair back.
“It didn’t work for me! And how can you be so pissed off at me? I begged you to come with me and you refused. Do you really hate me for chasing after my dream? You knew I wanted to play music when we started dating. You knew I would go for it if I could.”
“No. I don’t hate you. Fuck, I wish I could hate you because it would make things so much easier but I can’t. You didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t fault you for chasing your dreams. And look at the life you have now. I’m proud of you, Eddie. I really am, but I…I never thought I would recover when you left.”
“Neither did I but I begged you, princess! I begged you to come with me!”
“I know you did but what would that have even looked like, Eddie? What? Me waiting in hotel rooms while you trekked from place to place? Me becoming the third wheel that was dragging you down because your focus wasn’t solely on the band? I couldn’t be that person. I couldn’t become someone you resented because I was standing in the way of you getting what you wanted. And obviously you’ve gotten it. You’ve moved on! Good for you. I can’t. I’m still stuck in that town where memories of you assault me on a daily basis. I can’t get away from you!”
“You think I’ve moved on?” he demanded, rising from his chair. 
“You obviously have. I’ve seen the evidence. I know about you and that starlet. It’s been five years. Of course you moved on. You have this exciting life, traveling all over, meeting all kinds of people. You should have moved on but then you don’t get to come in here and give me those damn eyes and tell me you’ve missed me. That’s not fair.”
“Not fair?” Eddie’s eyes flashed as he began moving forward, backing you up with each step until he was so close you could feel his breath fanning your face. “Moved on? Princess, I have never moved on. You crawled inside me. You’re in my blood, my fucking skin. No matter how many women I’ve fucked, I never moved on. You want to talk about not fair. Not fair is your face haunting me everytime I’m fucking someone else, wishing it was you beneath me. Not fair is you suddenly being in my town, finally within reach, and you telling me I don’t get to tell you how much I’ve missed you. Not fair is how badly I want to bury myself inside you right now even knowing it will destroy me because it will have been worth it.”
You sucked in a sharp breath, stepping back again, the backs of your knees hitting the bed and sending you toppling onto your back on the mattress. Those brown eyes darkened with lust, the only warning you had before he was on top of you, fists on either side of your head, gazing down at you with such desire that you were sure to drown in it. 
“This is a bad idea,” you managed to choke out, knowing his words were true. Allowing him to consume you would mean the end of you but you didn’t have the strength to stop it because you wanted this. Jesus, you wanted this so badly. 
“Yeah, it probably is,” he rasped, ducking his head down, his nose trailing over your cheek and down along your neck, inhaling the scent of you, sending shivers racing down your spine and straight between your thighs. “But I don’t fucking care. Let me have you, princess, even if it's only for one night.”
“Yes…”
You barely had the word out before his lips were on yours, devouring you like a man starved. Your lungs expanded as if this kiss were breathing life back into you. Your heart jumped, responding, coming back from being dormant for so long the moment his lips touched yours. Your soul pulled, reaching for him, recognizing in him the thing it had been missing for too long. 
“I’ve missed you,” he growled, teeth pulling at your bottom lip before his tongue slid past and over yours. You met it, the two reacquainting themselves, dancing to a tune you both remembered the steps to as if it had just been yesterday. 
A large hand slid along the outer edge of your thigh, up your dress, cool metal pressing into your skin as he gripped your ass through your panties and you whimpered at the feel of those hands on you again. His lips moved, exploring every inch of your face and neck, leaving no part of you untouched. 
“You smell so damn good,” he whispered, tongue snaking along the column of your throat. “Taste good too.”
Your body shuddered. His other hand grabbed onto the strap of your dress, dragging it down your shoulder and arm until the cool air hit your exposed breast. 
“Fuck, no bra, baby? Was that just for me?”
You could not formulate words as his mouth latched onto your nipple, sucking hard. His tongue lazily swirled, lavishing it with attention as he ground his erection down into you, fingers digging into your ass, pulling you as close as possible. His teeth raked over the tender bud and you cried out, back arching, pressing yourself against his face. 
“You like that, baby?” he crooned, doing it again, grinning when he got the exact reaction he wanted. “Feel good?”
“Yes, Eddie,” you whined, your hands grabbing at his leather jacket. He pulled back just long enough to pull it off and your fingers latched onto the hem of his shirt before he could stop you, needing to feel his skin. You sat up, his thighs straddling your, lifting it over his head and tossing it to the floor. 
Your eyes greedily ran over every inch of him, your fingers tracing the familiar tattoos inked over his skin before moving to the unfamiliar ones. He sighed at your touch, his eyes fluttering closed, his body exhaling as if in relief. There was a dragon running over his ribcage and a familiar guitar on his arm. Fuck, he was beautiful. He was still your Eddie, a bit more toned, but still lean and pale and just as perfect as you remembered. 
You pressed your lips against the black widow on his chest. Eddie moaned, one hand cradling the back of your head as your mouth explored his chest just as he’d explored yours. You teased one nipple and then the other, nibbling, enjoying the hiss of pleasure that escaped between his clenched teeth. And then you paused, your head snapping back, tears burning your eyes when you caught sight of the small black letters just to the left of the demon head he’d gotten when you were juniors. Your fingers reached out hesitantly, running over the letters.
“Is this…?” you breathed.
He glanced down, a soft smile curving his lips as he took your fingers, pressing a kiss to them, “Yeah. It’s a copy of the carving I put in that tree of our initials senior year.”
“But why? Why would you get that when we weren’t even together anymore?”
“Because,” Eddie began, those hands coming down on the mattress, leaning into you, forcing you to lie back as his mouth scorched your skin, trailing over your collarbone. “My heart is yours. It always has been. It doesn’t matter how far apart we are or if we’re together, it’s always been with you, sweetheart.” His hand slid under your dress again, palming your pussy over your panties and he hissed. “Fuck…your panties are already so wet. Is that all for me? Did she miss me?”
“So fucking much,” you whined, rolling your hips toward his hand, needing to feel his fingers on you, inside you. It had been so long and only Eddie knew how to bring you to earth shattering orgasm. No man since had made your toes curl the way he did.
Eddie’s nose ran over your hair, his tongue tracing the shell of your ear. His hand slid under your panties as he stretched out next to you, fingers slipping through your slick to find your aching clit. Your body bucked and you keened, arching as his thumb brushed over your clit. Small circles teased the sensitive little bud as two thick fingers pressed into you, your body immediately pulsing around them. 
“Mmm…she remembers,” he breathed against your ear, pulling your earlobe between his teeth. “She knows who she belongs to.”
“Fuck,” you whimpered, his words sending shockwaves of pleasure rocking through your body, your hips rolling to meet the pumping of his fingers. 
His fingers began scissoring, spreading you, preparing you for him just the way he used to. The pleasure coursing through you was like your own sweet little oasis. You had opened the door to a world you’d long hidden from yourself and any stress or worry about what this meant, what happened after this, disappeared. Eddie, his fingers, his words, his body, was all that mattered in this moment. 
He curled his fingers within you, hitting that spot that only he had ever found, that spot that had you seeing stars, that had you hurtling through the universe toward a never ending void. You screeched, eyes rolling back and then closing, chest heaving with every single gasp of air, knowing you weren’t going to be able to hold on much longer. 
A strong grip on your chin turned your head toward Eddie, “Open your eyes for me, beautiful. I’ve waited far too long for this. I want to see you lose control.”
It was a struggle, your body fighting back against you as it thrashed around in the waves of the storm that was your approaching orgasm. You finally opened your eyes, finding those brown ones that reminded you so much of perfectly melted chocolate staring into yours with such intensity that your stomach coiled even more. 
“You’re close, aren’t you, princess?” he asked with certainty. “I can feel it. Come on, baby. Let go for me.”
You screamed his name as your body trembled violently, your back arching, that knot in your stomach loosening. And then he was dragging your underwear down your legs, pushing his own pants and boxers past his hips. His lips were on yours and your hand slid between you, fisting his cock and the groan he released sent a whole new shock of pleasure through you. 
“Fuck baby, yes…” he moaned, his forehead rolling over yours. “Feels so good…missed you…missed your touch.”
His tongue slid into your mouth once again as you worked him in your hand and then teased him, guiding his cock through your slick, up and down. Each time the head of it bumped over your clit, you whimpered, the sound swallowed into his mouth. 
“Love when you use me to get off,” he growled. “Need to be inside you, sweetheart. You still on the pill?”
“Y…y…yes…” you stammered.
The word was barely out of your mouth before he thrust into you, pressing until his pelvis was flush with yours. You groaned simultaneously at the feel of your bodies connecting once again. Your pussy fluttered around him, as if welcoming him home, everything feeling as it should be for the first time in far too long.
“Jesus, baby, you feel so fucking good. So fucking good,” grunted Eddie, his body still, nose bumping over yours and you blinked when something wet fell onto your eye. Looking up, you saw he was crying and your heart squeezed as if in a vice. 
Your hand cupped his cheek, thumb brushing over the drop, collecting it. He smiled softly, pressing his lips to yours as he began to move his hips slowly, rutting within you each time until he was bottomed out. His arms came around your back, crushing you against him, melding your two bodies until no inch of you was untouched by him.
“Eddie, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you…” you breathed, fingers moving into his hair, your foreheads stamped together as he thrust into you as if he were trying to climb into your body.
“Me too, baby. Me too. This is how it’s supposed to be. You’re mine. You were always meant to be mine.” His mouth fell on your neck, biting and sucking, marking you. “Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours…yours…” you cried, feeling as you climbed toward release once again. 
“And I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. Just yours.” He growled, his fingertips digging into the flesh of your upper shoulders. “I’m gonna, princess. Cum with me, baby.”
It wasn’t a choice. You were barely hanging on by a thread. He buried himself deep within you, his body stilling as he cried out your name, his cock twitched, filling you with his release. Your head pressed into the pillow, legs locking around him, joining him in sweet ecstasy as you peaked once again. 
Eddie shuddered above you and then collapsed against you, his face buried against your neck. Your fingers toyed with his hair, tears burning your eyes. Fuck, you were going to pay for this. How long would you bury yourself in that miserable dark hole this time after you inevitably parted, after he headed off to be a rockstar again?
“Jesus H. Christ, princess…that was fucking amazing,” he sighed, nuzzling against your neck. “I love you.”
Your entire body stilled, completely rigid at his words. That vice around your heart tightened, threatening to crush it into a million pieces. No. You’d never recover from this. The sex would have been hard enough to get past but those words…this was too much. Silent tears slid down your cheeks. 
“Hey, hey,” Eddie soothed, his mouth pressing where the tears were. “Why the tears, princess? Why are you sad?”
“I can’t…I can’t do this,” you mumbled, attempting to sit up but his arms came around, pulling you back down to the bed, cradling you against his body. Tender kisses pressed against your forehead and you sunk into the safety and comfort of him, knowing it wouldn’t last. 
“Can’t do what?”
“What are we doing? You’re just going to leave again and I am going to have to try to get over you again. And I didn’t do a great job the first time. Why do you think I wasn’t in love with Dylan? Because I’ve never been able to get over you!”
“Baby, I never got over you either. I tried. And yes, I do have to leave again. That’s my job. But come with me.” His fingers brushed your hair back from your face, his eyes begging you the same they did five years ago. “Come on tour with me. You belong with me. I know it and so do you. Don’t make me have to live without you anymore.”
“Eddie, I don’t want to be in the way.”
“You won’t. You were worried the band wouldn’t take off if you were there distracting me but the band’s already taken off. The guys have missed you too. They would love to have you come along. Gareth’s got a girl and she travels with us. Nobody cares. Besides…” he grinned, teasing your neck with kisses, “you are the best kind of distraction.”
“I…I mean…”
“You mean what? I’ve been miserable without you. Are you telling me you haven’t been miserable without me?”
“No. I have,” you admitted. 
“Then come with me. Be with me. Let’s be happy.”
He was right. All of the reasons you’d had five years ago to not go on tour with them were mute at this point. Corroded Coffin was the most popular band in the world. You weren’t going to stop them from becoming big because they were already big. You tried picturing it, traveling the world with Eddie, seeing and experiencing things you never had before, sleeping next to him every night, getting to watch him on stage again. And you realized, you wanted it. You wanted it badly. 
“Okay.”
“Okay?” His eyes lit up. “You’re going to come on the road with me?”
“Yes. I’m so tired of trying to be happy without you. I just want you. You’re what makes me happy.”
“Oh sweetheart, I am going to make you happy every day for the rest of forever, starting now,” he grinned, and then his lips were traveling down your body and your head was humming with bliss.
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artiststarme · 1 year
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Don't Call Me Stupid
Can I make you cry four times in one day @pyrohonk? I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!
Now with a Part 2!
~*~*~*~
Steve was used to being the dumb one. He was the kid in class that would ask stupid questions that the other kids and sometimes even the teacher would laugh at. He never quite understood what teachers were saying in class or what the words written on the board were supposed to mean with their squiggly letters that jumped around. Eventually he learned not to raise his hand at all. Better to be confused than embarrassed, right?
Nancy, when they were dating, would always call him an idiot. He brushed it off at the time but looking back, it made him wonder. If he was a little bit smarter, a little more astute, would things have gone differently? Would Nancy have sought comfort in him instead of running off to Jonathan? Would he have noticed Barb’s disappearance from his yard that started all of this in the first place? He had to wonder but even that wouldn’t change anything. 
His stupidity was also a highlight point for his parents to focus on. He once was the popular jock, an airhead but one that was popular and good at sports. Now, he was just a deadbeat that barely graduated high school and certainly couldn’t get into college. He was a loser working at a dead-end job that was going nowhere in life. Ah, what pride he brought to his parents now. He could only grieve the life he used to lead every time he saw his parents staring at him in disdain. At least he had the Party… right?
It was a well known fact throughout the Party that Steve was a little slow. His brain worked at a different pace than the rest of them, a concept woefully apparent to everyone. His brain was focused on the music underlying the Russian code and the Black Widows underneath the floorboards. He was the last to connect the dots and truly only helped the Party by taking hits to the head. They only kept him around to take the hits after all. 
Even Robin, his best friend in the world, his platonic soulmate with a capital P, called him a dingus on a near hourly basis. Sure, it was affectionate now but it started as a derogatory term to poke fun at his intelligence, or lack thereof. He was a fool in her eyes, affectionate or not. Even still, he was just the dumbass that slept around with half of Hawkins, a sassy soundboard for her to bounce lesbian crushes off of. 
He was used to being called stupid but it still hurt every time. 
So in the first fight he and Eddie have as a couple, it really hits a sore spot when Eddie hisses, “what are you, stupid?”
All of the fight drained out of Steve in an instant leaving a broken, empty shell in its place. His anger melted away to reveal the hurt hidden underneath. “You should go.”
“What? No, we’re talking this through,” Eddie shook his head, giving him a look of confusion. 
“I probably won’t understand anyways since I’m so stupid. So you should go, save your breath. Whatever you think is probably right anyways.” With that, Steve walks up the stairs to his bedroom and locks the door behind him. He pulls his old Walkman over his ears and lets the sad tones of Queen’s All Dead, All Dead wash over him. 
He was sick of being treated like trash by everyone he talked to. Everyone that was supposed to love him; his parents, Nancy, Robin, Eddie, the kids. They all thought he was a dumbass. He’d tried so hard to be better, to be smarter, to be more useful to everyone else. But in his quest, he lost everything that he once was. He lost his charisma, he lost his old friends, and his hobbies to become this loser who still no one liked. 
So, he ignored his boyfriend’s knocks on his door, turned up his tunes, and planned his move away from Hawkins. If he wasn’t appreciated here, maybe he would be anywhere else.
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after-witch · 5 months
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Thank you so much for sharing your work with us! I recently reread your works for Sesshomaru and I still find him to be such an interesting character. I always find your characterisations to be very grounded and multifaceted. Maybe for Lord Sesshomaru:
My Lord, if I may ask, what is your plan? Are we just supposed to follow you until we’re too old to walk?
Thank you, I'm glad you like them and like the characterizations!
notes: yandere, kidnapped reader, we stan a reader who is a smartass
--
Oh, some part of you wishes you could capture the sound Jaken just made in a jar, so you could let it out bit by bit to entertain you on nights where the world seemed too dark and heavy.
But before he can turn around and chastise you, Ren skips in between the pair of you.
"I won't be too old to walk for a long time!" She says, grinning, oblivious--or perhaps more accurately, ignoring--your softly worded barb towards the demon lord she held in such reverence.
The only sign that Sesshoumaru has heard you is the fact that he's stopped walking.
He doesn't say anything. Not yet, and truthfully, you wonder if he'll even bother acknowledging what you said. He often ignores you, expecting you to simply fall in line like the rest. And you do... mostly.
But sometimes you can't help it. Your parents used to send you to bed without supper for your sass, and in some ways, that hasn't changed.
You wonder if he'll take away your meals for a day or two, or perhaps have Jaken get out the rope again and tie it to your wrists like a leash. Maybe he'll make you stick close to Jaken for a while, although that was more a punishment for Jaken than you.
But then Sesshoumaru turns his head just enough for you to see the profile of his face.
"If you're too old and feeble to walk," he says, calm as ever, and isn't that the most annoying thing? "Then I'll have Jaken carry you on his back."
With that, he turns back around, and begins to walk again.
"But my lord!"
Jaken's words splutter out of his mouth, his eyes wide, anxious and frenzied, even as he hurries to follow his lord and master.
You sigh, and force your feet to continue moving. Maybe one day you'll understand why he keeps you. But not today.
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Emma to Bruce
Dear Bruce,
Bruce, Bruce, Bruce. Will I keep writing to you when all these renovations are done? When things have returned to some form of normalcy? Or is normalcy over—is the crack in the Nephilim world one that can’t be healed but will only widen over time, with more and more changes, until finally there is too much change to bear? In which case I guess I will keep writing to you, Bruce, as a kind of silent witness to the strangeness of these times.
Sorry, sorry. I am feeling a little poetic tonight because Jem and Tessa and Kit and Mina arrived today and…well, that’s just kind of how Jem and Tessa talk. Being, you know. Way old. And because it feels like all this business with the cursed house is in its final chapters and I don’t have any idea how things are going to be after that.
In any event we didn’t do anything about the curse today, we just ended up visiting with the Carstairs-Herondales, who should definitely pick a shorter name we can use for them. Team Victorian Era? Team Time When Everything Was Very Romantic But It Took Forever To Get Anywhere? Hm. I guess I’ll ask them for ideas, since mine are, uh, bad.
There was some complication right when they arrived. We had picked out a couple of bedrooms for them to use and asked the brownies to make them up with sheets and towels and all that. And then we checked them before the guests arrived and I’m glad we did because the faeries had made up all the rooms for…birds? Like, for huge, person-sized birds. Big nests of sticks, six feet across, and branches to perch on. And big balls of birdseed hanging from the ceiling.  So we had to ask them to redo the rooms and the brownies looked so disappointed. (But we didn’t say the guests were birds! I have no idea why they thought that!) The worst part is they did a really nice job, like, if we were being visited by giant birds they would have been very comfortable. They still seemed puzzled when everyone did show up that Mina wasn’t a big egg. Faeries, man.
Speaking of Mina, who is not a big egg but rather a small toddler, she is extremely cute. She is walking now, or toddling, I guess, and she says “mama” and “dada” and also “kish” which apparently is what she calls Kit. And she has a little wooden toy stele that she is constantly trying to scribble on everyone with. Apparently Kit has been learning runes and Mina wants to learn them too.
We should have just gone straight into curse-breaking but to be honest we were just having a very nice time hanging out. Tessa and Jem are very easy to spend time with, which is nice given how high-strung most of our other friends are. I suppose once you’ve gone through all the stuff that has happened to them, it takes a lot to upset you. Just the way Jem talks about the curse makes me feel more reassured that we’ll be able to fix it, even though we don’t really know what we’re doing or what’s gone wrong so far.
They seem really impressed by the house, also, which makes Julian look all proud of himself in a highly adorable way. Tessa said the last time either of them were here was after Tatiana was arrested and sent to be an Iron Sister, and they were searching it for demon stuff. (Most of which, she admitted, they clearly didn’t find. It seems obvious from the way she talks that they didn’t understand how dangerous Tatiana really was until it was too late—I really want to ask her about that but it seemed a dark topic while we were all having a good time.) Jem said by that time it was already in pretty bad shape, but Tessa said she saw the house once “in its prime” at a ball, and then she blushed a little. Whatever happened during that ball must have been pretty impressive if she’s blushing about it 130 years later!
Of course there’s still that overall shroud of heavy memory that kind of hangs over the place, and no amount of new paint and replaced windows can help that. That’d be the curse, of course. Still, it felt cheerier this evening than it ever has before. For the first time I felt a little like it was our house and friends had come to visit and it was surprisingly nice and ordinary. As long as I don’t think about what’s going on with the Clave.
Also a concern: Kit. He was hanging out with us most of the day, but he was really quiet, for him, and a couple of times he excused himself to go take a walk in the garden. Julian said he thinks Kit broke up with his girlfriend and maybe he’s sad about that, but I don’t know. He was really jumpy whenever any of the builders were around, and kept a close eye on them anytime they were nearby. Round Tom introduced himself and Kit nodded, but he didn’t say his name or much of anything else. I mean, you can hardly blame him. His relationship to faeries, and Faerie itself, is complicated. According to Tessa, Cirenworth is very tightly warded against faerie incursions, and even the town and the roads nearby are protected. Magnus and Catarina made sure of it. So this would be one of the first times he’s been around faeries since the big battle outside Alicante; even though these faeries are safe, it must be weird for him.
But you know Kit. He has this aura about him like he doesn’t want to answer any questions about how he’s doing. Today he’s been out front, watching the faeries in the garden — it could be he’s worried about them, or maybe he wants to join them? I don’t know. Maybe Julian or I can get him to open up a little while he’s here. Or maybe I’ll get a moment to ask Jem or Tessa if they know what’s up.
Anyway, that’s all from me for now, Bruce. Tomorrow we break a curse! I hope!
Emma
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simplydannie · 28 days
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I’m supposed to working on my other fics, but this one hit me like a train wreck. I work with kids on the spectrum, from moderate to mild. This one is dedicated to each and everyone one of my amazing kiddos. Where the world sees the disability I see the ability. My kiddos have changed my heart, and love them all dearly. I wouldn’t change what I do for anything. I wish I could shelter them from the cruel world always. One day the world will see how amazing you guys are by just being you ❤️ I will always be proud of you all!
Velvet has always been tough, overprotective, and really hard on her brother. People would say she’s cruel, but in reality she is sheltering him from a world she fears would never accept him.
●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・● ●・○・●・○・●
“How do they look?” Veneer asked facing Velvet.
“Like headphones duh.”
“But they aren’t.”
“Who cares! Let them think they’re ‘actual’ headphones.” She quoted. Velvet went over to adjust the headphones that lay over his purple beanie. “How do they feel?”
“Comfortable.” He smiled, but then it soon faded. “Vels, why can’t we just tell them? I thought mom and dad said not to be ashamed…”
“We’re not ashamed. They just won’t understand.” She rolled her eyes, “Trolls live in this perfect happy world where nothing is wrong with them….. they’d never understand.” Velvet pulled her pink hoodie over her black mini dress. She reached over and fixed Veneers golden hoodie that draped over his skinny black jeans and combat boots.
“Vels come on!” He said embarrassed.
“Some old habits die hard…. I guess let’s go.” She grunted. The twins made their way out of their suit in Gristles castle…
It had been a year since the Rage Dome incident. Floyd had convinced the trolls and Bergens to allow the twins to spend the rest of their term under community service. What the Trolls didn’t know was that a change happened in the twins… Velvet would catch herself loosing control around her brother, as if reality was distorted. Sometimes she’d see him, but she couldn’t stop herself, as if she didn’t have control of her own body… and Veneer, well something returned, something that only her and her parents understood, something that the troll essence somehow allowed him to control. Ever since then, her protectiveness returned…like a bear and her cub.
“Hey guys! Whoa, styling headphones Veneer!” Poppy chimed.
He smiled, “Why thank you.”
“Yeah, yeah, they’re nice. We were called down for breakfast and now here we are.” Velvet said.
“I guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Branch rolled his eyes and turned away, Veneers mood lightened upon seeing the small grey Troll.
“Hey Branch!” He waved making his way towards him. Velvet attempted to hold her brother back but failed. Why did he like Branch so much? She could never put her finger on it. Branch did his best to ignore the Rageon as he yapped and yapped.
Branch ignored Veneer and went ahead to get his breakfast. “Oh okay. Talk to you later!” Veneer called out.
“Why do you have to follow him so much?” Velvet asked.
“I don’t know, he seems cool. Bet you I can get him to be my friend.”
“Ew why?”
“Come on Vels, I’m trying.”
Grabbing him by the arm, she led him to the dining area where food awaited. “I’m hungry come on.”
Velvet wasn’t used to having so many people around during any mealtime. It was always her, Veneer, and their parents… but she began realizing that the Trolls treated everything like a party, and apparently the Bergens joined in with them. Veneer began shifting on his feet at the sight of everyone… a wave of anxiety and nervousness came over him. Velvet noticed his uneasiness.
“Let’s sit over here.” She pulled him to an isolated table.
“No! Let’s sit with everyone else.” He told her.
“You’re not ready.”
“How am I ever going to get ready if you never give me a chance?” Veneer looked at his sister square in the eye.
“But what if something happens…”
“Then it happens. These are the Trolls we’re talking about! They’ll be excepting, right? I mean, do they have what I have? Is it normal to them? Different?” Veneer began to over analyze everything.
“Let’s sit over here…” she began to pill him until she was stopped by Poppy and Viva.
“Hey girl!” Viva exclaimed. Velvet rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Sooo Velvet we have nice Trolls and Bergens we want you to meet.”
“And Vennie we have some we want you to meet too!”
The twins took a quick glance at each other. “Floyd said he thinks it’ll be a great idea for you guys to make some friends… other than each other of course.”
“We’re good. We don’t need friends.” Velvet began pulling her brother along. Veneer was frozen in his footsteps. “Ven?” Veneer was staring at the ground, lost in thought. For years since they were kids, Velvet had really sacrificed a lot for him…. That’s including friendships. Veneer was different, making friends didn’t come easy to him. He remembered spending most of his school days alone, until Velvet came in. She decided to be his only friend and he be hers. Maybe now it could be different. She needed friends other than him around.
“M-maybe it’s a good idea Vels.”
“What!”
“Y-you need to make friends. Y-you need people to talk to. Can you do this, for me?” He asked. Veneer pouted his lip, widening his eyes.
“No….no! Not the face! You’re not a kid anymore!”
But that only made Veneer pout his lip even more, saddening his eyes. Velvet grunted, “Fine! But… someone gives you hard time..”
“I know. Go look for you.” He smiled. Viva took Velvet away while Veneer followed Poppy. She led him to a table where young teenage Bergens and Trolls sat, amongst them was Branch. Upon seeing the Rageon, the grey Troll grunted. He got up and walked off causing Veneer to frown.
“Hey everyone! So this is Veneer! He’s new here. So let’s all be nice.” Veneer took a seat in between two Bergens who eyed him weirdly. He did his best to smile, but even then he felt awkward.
“You’re a Rageon?” Asked a funk troll.
“Y-yes.” He stammered as he grew nervous. His leg began to twitch, he began to fiddle with the sleeves of his hoodie.
“Well, nice to meet you I guess.” A teenaged Bergen told him.
An easiness overcame Veneer when he heard that. He smiled. “You too!” Looking at the food on his plate, Veneer began to do something he hadn’t done in so long, not since using the Trolls essence. He began separating his food by colors. His eyes were able to distinguish the different hues and shades of everything. He hummed as he did so. Everyone around him eyed him suspiciously. They turned to give each other glances.
“Dude. What are you doing?” Asked a young rock troll.
“Something I’d used to do. I don’t why it bothers me when things are not color coordinated. You can obviously tell this shade of red is different than this one…..” Unknowingly, he began to ramble on and on. There was silence around him, so he assumed they were interested in what he was saying. When he looked up, he noticed everyone was gone. Looking around, Veneer saw they had moved to another table, snickering and laughing at him.
“Oh! Hey wait up!” Quickly gathering his plate, he went after them. The table groaned as he neared them…. They left him no room to sit. “Um, excuse me.”
“There’s no room. Sorry bud.” A Bergen said.
“But if you just moved your foot, I can sit here.”
“Nope.”
“Okay very funny.” Veneer attempted to laugh as he tried scooting in.
“I said no room.” The Bergen shoved Veneer with such force that he fell down, his plate and food spilling everywhere. The small group snickered at the sight. Poppy, Branch, and Floyd came running over.
“Hey you good?” Floyd asked.
“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Nervousness set in Veneer again as all eyes were on him. His eyes darting back and forth as he tried to avoid eye contact. Veneer began to hum to soothe himself, but he could feel the laughter, the judgement.
“He tripped dude. He’s fine.” Branch said rolling his eyes. He began to hate the attention Veneer would take from Floyd. Floyd was HIS brother, not Veneers.
“Oh! Well it’s okay Vennie we’ll just get you another plate.” Poppy chimed.
Veneer had stopped trying to pick up his food. He just knelt there, staring straight at the ground. He couldn’t calm down, everything wrecked his nerves, the world was spinning a thousand miles per minute. He needed to calm down, he continued to hum. The familiarity of the hands that helped him up was the only thing to cause him ease.
“Just go Ven. I’ll pick this up.” Velvet told him. Veneer tightened his headphones around his ears. He nodded and headed off. Velvet continued to pick up the food without making eye contact or acknowledging anyone…. She knew it was a mistake, she knew they wouldn’t accept him.
“What’s the big deal? He just dropped his food.” Said one of the teenage Bergens. Velvet ignored them… she began to fume as her anger rose.
“Maybe he shouldnt be so sensitive.” Branch scoffed. Velvet grabbed the broken plate and smashed it on the floor again…. completely shattering it.
“HES NOT SENSITIVE YOUR TWIG! HES AUTISTIC!” She screamed at the top of her lungs.
Complete silence surrounded her. It was then she noticed what she had said. Forget this, she thought. Velvet rushed after Veneer leaving everyone flabbergasted. Whether they understood or not, she didn’t care. This world would never accept him…she knew she was all he had.
“Velvet!” She heard Floyd call out to her.
“Screw you!” She yelled back…. She knew the moment Veneer absorbed the troll essence, his brain chemistry had changed, it had made him different. She didn’t have to worry about him… but that was gone. Everything was back to the way it was before the fame… but this time… mom and dad weren’t around to comfort them.
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codfanficedits · 4 months
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Before the mask - Part fourteen
Pairing: Simon Riley x Fem!Reader
Summary: Because Simon wasn’t born as Ghost.
Wordcount: 2160 | Rating: E! (18+ only!)
Warnings: Simon discovers a sexual side of himself, but it is just mentioned briefly
A/N: Survived my surgery, still in a lot of pain, but I lived, bitches.
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Feel.
How is one supposed to just feel, to just experience these feelings? Simon didn’t know how, but he decided to just roll with it. His face gets buried into your abdomen, his tears staining your shirt.
“I.. I..” His voice dies down for a second. “God it feels so silly.” Simon said, trying to ease the tension he was feeling, yet he didn’t let go off you for a single second.
A safe haven, an anchor, the light that guided him in the darkness. God he loved you more than anything.
A few deep breaths and he wipes away his tears. “So, how long does this stuff needs to dry for?” He asks, trying to change the subject.
“Around a day.” You answer and Simon has to think for a little.
“But tomorrow we’re both on duty.”  He said. “And once we’re both done, it’s only one more night until Halloween.”
“Seems like you can still count, Riley.” You chuckle, wiping the last of his tears away with your thumb. “I’m scheduled for training the upcoming days, and it’s supposed to be a tough one, so you might have to start painting without me.”
“But what if I fuck up?” In his stomach an uneasy feeling begins to grow, what if he messed up your hard work?
“What if you don’t fuck up?” You counter. “We made three masks, the world won’t decay if one doesn’t turn out the way we wanted. Hell, the world will even keep spinning if all three don’t end up the way we want them to. They’re masks, for Halloween, they don’t have to be perfect.”
His brows knit together, and it feels like silly words, because everything he does needs to be perfect, and it goes against his nature to not deliver perfect work.
Being as close to perfect as he could had provided him with praise of his teacher, and later on his superiors, what would he be without that kind of praise?
It was almost funny to see, a big, burly soldier, who could be arrogant at times, was secretly so insecure of who he was. Pretending to not care, only to thrive of the praise of others.
Your hand grips his chin and you force him to look up at you again.
“It doesn’t matter if it is perfect, it matters if you’re happy with it.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Simon protests softly. “But it isn’t easy.”
“I know, I know.” Your hand goes through his hair again. “But I’m there with you, every step of the way.”
Simon has to swallow a lump in his throat, the uneasy feeling in his stomach takes over his lungs, his heart, his brain. “Why do you do this?” He asks
“Why do I do what?” You ask, unsure what is going through his mind.
“You know I am broken, yet you still stay with me, trying to fix me.” He said, not understanding why you would put up with someone like him.
“That is where you’re wrong.” You chuckle, and Simon can feel his stomach drop fully. “I’m not with you, to fix you.” You add. “I fell in love with you while you were broken, and I didn’t fall in love with you to fix you.”
His head feels like it is spinning while he tries to listen to you. You loved him, even while he was broken? Of course he had heard you say it before, of course he believed you, but hearing you say it like this? Well, that made his heart beat even faster.
“I can be alongside you, I can be there while you try to figure it out yourself, but I love you, just the way you are.” You add.
“Even when I am like this?” He asks.
“Even when you’re like this.” You confirm.
God, how he loved you. How he would only ever love you.
It was okay to be him. No matter how hard life would be, no matter how difficult it could be.
Simon tightens his grip around you and his face gets buried against you again, he needs to feel your touch, worried that you aren’t real, and he can’t stand the idea of ever losing you.
Your fingers weave through his hair again, and Simon groans content. “You know.” He said with a chuckle. “I could easily get used to this, and never let you go.”
You laugh at his words. “That is not very soldierlike of you.”
“The army can suck my ass.” He mutters.
And it’s funny, the army had been his escape from life, his ticket out. But right now? Right now the thought of putting you in danger, of putting himself in danger felt like the worst thing that could happen and Simon didn’t want to risk it, because losing you would feel like he would have nothing left. Nothing more to give.
“Bollocks.” You chuckle. “You’re a good soldier, Simon, you can get really far if you want to.”
“Yeah? And what if I don’t want to?” Simon counters while he looks up at him, his arms still firmly wrapped around your waist.
“Then I would suggest to stop giving it your all and to be just as mediocre as the rest of us.” You said as your answer.
“Hmpf.” Simon is a little torn, he wanted nothing more than to succeed, to become the very best, but on the other hand.. He knew he was being too forward, that he was thinking about the future too much, but domestic life was starting to call out to him too. Just with you though, he couldn’t see himself do this with anyone else.
“What about you?” He asks, eyes locking with yours.
You have to think about it for a little bit, your fingertips tapping on his scalp while you try to think of what you really want. Usually you would just go with the flow, not trying to think too much ahead, but even you had some dreams you wanted to fulfil in the army.
“I think I would eventually like to become a lieutenant.” You answer. “I feel as if that would be the perfect balance between having ownership and responsibility and still having to report to people.”
Now that was something Simon had not expected, you seemed to have put some thought into this. A smirk tugs around his lips and finally releases you from his hold, giving you a quick peck on your lips. “My, my.” He chuckled. “Who knows, I might even have to start to obey you.”
“Who knows,” you counter. “I might even have to start to punish naughty soldiers.”
Fuck.
Oh fuck.
That was trouble.
Simon never knew about this side of him. The sudden jolt of heat that started to course through his veins. He clears his throat, unable to look you in your eyes. “Who knows.” He mumbles.
Of course you pick up his cues, they’re not even that subtle. You use your pointer and middle finger to lift his chin up. “What’s the matter? Use your words, pretty boy.”
Simon has to swallow hard, his throat feeling dry. Pretty boy. He was a soldier for crying out loud.
Well, it turned out he was a soldier with a preference to be called a pretty boy.
He hated how he could feel his cheeks starting to get hot, and he knew he was starting to blush like crazy. This would’ve been the perfect time to shut down again. He was a soldier, he was a man, he was rough, though. He was supposed to be dominant, he was supposed to be in charge. But here he was, mere seconds away from begging you on his knees. It made him feel vulnerable, and he hated that, but at the same time, it did make him feel safe that it was with you. You were the only person who wouldn’t judge him for this, at least, that is what he hoped.
“Maybe.” He whispered. “Maybe I would like to be your naughty soldier.”
A grin formed on your face, as you run your thumb over his bottom lip. “Is that so?”
And Simon nods before you’re done speaking. God, yes.
“Maybe.” You whisper, as you push your thumb between his lips. “Maybe we can arrange that.”
Simon knows what to do, and his tongue moves almost on instinct, swirling around your thumb.
“But not now.” You add. “I want to talk about it first. I want to get us a safe word, I want to do it when we’re both feeling good. Not right before our duty.”
He nods, your thumbs still in his mouth, this tongue still twirling around your digit. He is just really relieved you’re open to this, than you don’t find this weird, and by the way you’re looking at him, you’re into this too.
A soft whimper leaves his lips when you pull your thumb back, and he clears his throat immediately. “Yeah, no.” He said, trying to sound gruff. “We definitely need to talk about this first.”
Simon gets up from his seat, and he presses a kiss on your forehead. “I’m really lucky to have you.” He whispers, right before his lips gets pressed against your forehead again.
“I’m really lucky to have you too.” You murmur, closing your eyes for a brief second, savouring the sweet kiss.
A part of you was a little worried about your upcoming duty, you knew it would take a lot of your energy, and part of you wanted some alone time to prepare for duty, but at the same time, you wanted to stay with him. Spend as much time as you could together, before you would go back to being ‘just friends’ for the outside world.
“C’me on.” His voice reaches your ear. “Tell me what is going on in that pretty, little head of yours.”
“Well.” You said, with a sigh. “I have two things on my mind.”
Simon places a hand on the small of your back, holding you close to him. “Tell me, lovie. I can’t guess what’s going on.”
“When do you want us to become a public couple?” The words leave your lips before you can stop it.
Simon sighs, before you were his, he wanted to see you in his hoodie, he wanted other men to know that you were his. But now that he had you, he realized that there was some.. weakness to that. He didn’t want you to be considered leverage, he didn’t want any of you to get into trouble.
“I don’t know.” He muttered truthfully. “I.. Maybe I would like to wait a little longer.”
You nod, agreeing with his words, your love was still young, still fragile, it would be better to wait a little longer before going public. “Let’s just wait until people start to notice.” You propose, and Simon smiles at those words.
“Yeah, let’s wait until then.” He agrees, kissing your forehead again. “Don’t think I don’t want people to know about us.” He clarifies. “I just want to wait a little longer. That is all.”
It’s funny how it didn’t even cross your mind that he didn’t want to be seen with you, and for a brief second you could feel a new fear unlocking. “Yeah, no, sure.””  You agree, but your voice is a little unsteady.
Simon, however, does not pick up on your little hint, and you don’t have it in you to tell him straight away.
“What’s the other thing on your mind?” He asks.
Well, all you wanted now was to be left alone, to let your own thoughts linger in your head a little, maybe you were just overthinking this, maybe you just needed a nap and some food in order to sort yourself out.
“Well.”  You say, forcing a smile on your face. “We’re both on duty tomorrow, and I usually spend some time alone, so I can get some rest, so I can prepare, you know.”
Simon pushes away any sort of insecurity, he remembers the fight the two of you had because of this, and he doesn’t want to do that again. “I did nothing wrong?” He blurts out, and it does sound more desperate than he wants it to sound.
You shake your head. “Of course not. It is just my own little ritual, you did nothing wrong. I just want to prevent getting overwhelmed during duty.”
He could live with that, and he releases the tension in his shoulders. “Promise me you’ll find me if something happens, okay? If you have a nightmare or what not. I’m here.”
“I promise.”
Simon’s lips find yours after your little promise, and a very small part of him hopes he can keep you for a little longer, but he knows you need the time for yourself.
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He asks, after the kiss.
“See you tomorrow.”
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bluedalahorse · 7 months
Text
Morning commute thoughts about Sara and Wilhelm
Well, okay. Maybe you can have a little meta, as a treat.
I pretty firmly believe that we’re supposed to see connections/parallels between how Sara treats Simon and how Wilhelm treats Simon, especially by the end of season 1 and then moving into season 2.
Consider how:
Sara and Wilhelm both betray Simon at the end of season 1. Wilhelm by denying his involvement in the video, Sara by letting August buy her silence.
Both Sara and Wilhelm think they can hold August accountable by acting alone. They do this without asking Simon what he thinks is best or enlisting the support of trustworthy adults. Sara attempts to emotionally support August enough that he holds himself accountable, while Wilhelm goes on a classic revenge spree. Neither approach is 100% effective because they’re working alone and because both of them are up against untrustworthy adults working behind the scenes (the royal court) who make situations worse.
Even when things are fraught for the reasons mentioned above, we still see evidence that they care for Simon and that their relationship with him is worth preserving. Wilhelm and Simon’s moment where they take a running shortcut at rowing practice is one of them. Sara hugging Simon after he sings his song is another. There’s more, too! I will let y’all find those things as I’m late for work.
Both of them have their poor decisions clouded by first love. Sara gives August more space than she probably should to change because they’re in love with one another (something that’s been brewing even before the video, so even if August never released the video, they still might have had some kind of relationship even though it may have looked very different.) She also assumes Simon’s scars from the video have faded somewhat so it’s okay to keep pursuing her relationship. (How many of us have assumed something affected someone less than we thought it did only to later find out we were wrong? Certainly I did, when I was a teenager.) Wilhelm, meanwhile, is in love with Simon, but at the beginning he is far from being a Model Boyfriend. He initially attempts to pressure Simon into a secret relationship and does stuff like read Simon’s texts. This is frightening enough when it comes from someone the same social class as you, but Wilhelm is a prince with a lot more access to wealth and people who can like… request your phone records and stuff. He never uses his power that way and I don’t think it occurred to him to, but I think we’re supposed to understand that this could have gone south if he didn’t have people like Boris helping him. (Meanwhile, Sara’s romance with August feels like a more dramatic betrayal in some ways than Wilhelm reading Simon’s texts and Wilhelm denying he was with Simon on live TV, but Wilhelm also has a lot more institutional power behind him while Sara is in a relationship when she lacks institutional power and her intimate partner has a lot to hold over her if their relationship sours.) The show is very clear that falling in love is a morally neutral thing—falling in love, whether it’s with a “generally good” or a “generally bad” person, is something you can’t control, but the choices you make as a result of being in love are what defines your moral stance. By the end of season 2, Wilhelm has grown and made the choice to express his love for Simon in more conscientious ways. He becomes aware of the role his status plays. Meanwhile, Sara has chosen to give up her first love—even with the possibility that she could face brutal retaliation from her partner—to try and achieve justice for Simon’s sake.
I feel like we’re 100% meant to see these parallels and feel equal amounts of sympathy for Wilhelm and Sara as they grow and work out who they are in the world and what they can do next. Which is why if I had to guess, Wilhelm and Sara having a bonding moment will play some role in Simon’s reconciliation with Sara. And even if it doesn’t, I guarantee you that the writers were thinking of them as having parallel arcs.
Anyway, I love both Wilhelm and Sara so much. They both have amazing growth! That’s why I want to see them interact and become friends.
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razorblade180 · 6 months
Text
Farewell
Neuvillette:*writing*
knock knock knock
Neuvillette:It’s open.
Furina:Wow, look at you. Hard at work as ever.
The man’s pen froze. He quickly looked up to see his old boss walking in with a nervous and sheepish smile. He rose to his feet.
Neuvillette:Lady Furina.
Furina:Please, you can just call me Furina. I’m just a normal actress after all
Neuvillette:Ah, yes. I do apologize but I think you know better than anyone breaking a habit after centuries isn’t a simple thing to do.
Furina:Heh, fair enough. I suppose keeping it is fine, since it’s you. I hope the workload is manageable?
Neuvillette:There’s an adjustment period, but everyone’s hard work has made it easier. Anyways, I’m sure my work isn’t what brought you here after all this time? Is everything okay? Do you need-
Furina:I’m fine haha. Dear Iudex, I am fine. I came here to tell you something in person I thought you should know. I’m…leaving Fontaine for awhile.
Neuvillette:Oh. I…I see.
Furina:Not for any bad reason, mind you. Sure some people aren’t exactly warm to me still but that’s perfectly fine. I just….There’s so much out there. Five hundred years of informants and change. Now that I’m free to do so much, staying here feels a little silly.
Neuvillette:I understand. It’s a freedom you earned. You should enjoy it. But I have to ask, do you actually have a plan?
Furina:Ha! Still you doubt me? I believe it was you who said “I am no fool.” *smiles* Yes, I have money, previsions, and a route. Aether is going to escort me through the desert and Sumeru’s jungle until arriving at Port Ormos. I do enjoy a scenic route and a little adventure. He’ll be on his way after that but he’s given me an impressive list of people to see and locations to go if I come across any really difficulties. Eventually I’ll head east and see other lands as well.
Neuvillette:Sounds like your networking shall expand tenfold.
Furina:What can I say? I’m a people person. Anyways, I head out in a days time. I should’ve said something sooner but….
Neuvillette:No need to explain. Somethings are simply better when the time comes. I will say it does make me happy that you chose to see me personally. May the world greet you as openly as your home back here always will.
Furina felt a warmth hearing that. Her gaze glanced to the window behind the man, the glass graced with light rain. Furina couldn’t help but give him a gentle smile as she exhaled.
Furina:Aww, Neuvillette. It’s okay. I promise you I’ll be back with a stories grander than any play. I might even gain wonderful inspiration to liven up Fontaine. I do have a talent for that.
Neuvillette:Heh, yes, you do. *smiles* I admit it. I will miss you, but I am nevertheless truly happy for you as well. Stay safe, Furina.
He gave her a bow, one that she returned in kind before making her exit quietly. That went well. She felt as if she wasn’t breathing in the beginning but things turned out well. Furina walked outside and stared at the rain silently. Little by little, the sound of thousands of droplets grew louder than crashing waves. Louder than her own beating heart. Furina took a sharp breath, sprinting back inside, ignoring all onlookers and running back into Neuvillette’s office with one mighty push of the doors
Clearly he wasn’t expecting her return, gasping at the sight of her as hadn’t budged an inch; tears visibly running down his face that mirrored her own. Without a second thought, Furina’s tears grew stronger as she ran to him, jumping into a hug he instinctively caught. His arms wrapped tightly around her while she did the same.
Furina:Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, we’re okay. We’re going to be okay. Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me.
Neuvillette:I should be the one thanking you. Lady Furina, thank you for your service, for this experience. You performed perfectly. Please, take your rest.
She could no longer speak. All she could do his cry with the rain, until sunny skies would eventually come again.
xxxxxx
Back near the Opera House, a certain boy say near the fountain and let the downpour resonate with him, stirring his own emotions until they overflowed.
Paimon:H-Hey! Are you okay.
Aether:I’m fine Paimon. For once…the water feels good.
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Personal review regarding what if…? season 2 episode 8 (spoilers)
No ok, I must admit, the episode was good in some aspects.
Wanda was majestic. Loki and Scott were hilarious and I loved every single moment with them.
Thor was amazing, dark and serious out of loss but still enjoyable, and the crumbs of his relationship with Hela were very nice.
I’ve actually liked Tony for the very first time in my life, probably because I tend to like him a lot more in AUs and fanfictions than I do in the normal timeline.
And then… there were those two.
I will never comprehend why marvel wants Steve to be so dependent on Peggy. And I will never comprehend why, to make him interact with her, they have to destroy or sideline every other relationship he has built, or make his character flat.
Bucky being friends with Scott was amazing, but the fact that him and Steve interacted like two times was extremely disappointing. You’d expect “best friends in every universe”, if you dislike the romantic pairing so much, to acknowledge themselves for more than a few scenes, in only one of which they’re in frame together (Bucky was literally 😐 while his best friend disappeared, come on now).
And the storyline about Peggy coming from another world to save the universe was just… Mbah. It could’ve been executed in another way without including her and it still would have made sense. It really feels like a Y/N insert.
Seeing literally any other character was so good, so fun, and they had to ruin it this way, making Peggy once again the self insert and girlboss she didn’t need to be.
Plus, forgive my constant complaining, but it’s extremely infuriating how all of Steve’s friends were eliminated to put the focus solely on Peggy. Where’s Sam? Where’s Nat? Where’s Clint? It’s not an underrated friendship we’re talking about, a big chunk of the fandom loves the cap quartet or team cap, and after civil war it would have been nice to see them interact, especially after its popularity and popular demand. Outlaw team cap would have been glorious, a good chance to bring back many characters who aren’t here anymore in the right way, and involve characters that are rarely involved in What if in the storyline, for a change.
The treatment of Sam in this series particularly angers me, and even more so in this episode. I understand not involving him in other storylines, but Sam was a big part of CATWS and he wasn’t even in the episode centered on that film. What, because Steve met him while running he can’t be introduced in any other way? And oh, there’s no excuse for this episode. If there was one episode they could have placed Sam in, it was this one. Sam was there in infinity war, where the mess happened, and he should have been with the other avengers in this one.
If marvel wanted to involve someone from another universe so bad, it should have been a Captain America Sam from another universe. Can you imagine the poetry of seeing Steve and Nat again after endgame? Can you imagine having closure with them both, and having fun in the process? It would have been so great.
Another great storyline without involving characters from other universes would have been one where Steve, who touched the time stone, accidentally brought everyone in the past, and he was the only one to remember it. And to go back and prevent everyone’s distraction, he had to recruit the avengers, who don’t know him and don’t trust him but that in the end become his friends and companions. It would have been so interesting to see the original avengers involved in something different from being some side characters or extras in the one woman show that seems to be What if, constantly centered around the same bland, one dimensional reimagined side character. Peggy’s blandness is so obvious in these episodes (aside for some random remarks that made me smile) that literally everyone who’s involved directly with her must be bland like her, otherwise risking to overshadow her.
I don’t think I was supposed to cringe and look away as much as I did during Steggy’s forced scenes, but I did. If they had to force Steggy and Peggy down our throats, at least they could have done something different from the same bland and boring storyline as always. I wouldn’t be as mad as I am now if Peggy and Steve’s relationship wasn’t as bland. I would have preferred an enemies to lovers type of twist or change, where Steve doesn’t trust Peggy and struggles with her because he sees in her a different version of the Peggy that died in that universe. But noooo, god forbid, let’s go with the same old song.
An episode five or ten minutes longer with a better, avengers-centric or Steve-centric storyline would have been much better than what we got.
And given that this was my most anticipated episode, I was very disappointed by it. I hope for the next seasons, if there’s other ones, Marvel will listen to the general complaint regarding Peggy and will give her a break. I don’t think any of the original avengers or relevant MCU characters made as much appearances as Peggy, and being a main focus in four episodes out of nine is ridiculous.
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“The world is made of giant machines, built piecemeal over centuries by a chain of workers, none of whom can see the whole of what they make.”
Ash sat slowly down in the pulpit. Her bones protested the motion. She quashed the urge to offer a prayer to Iris, the dead god of secrets and investigators. In front of her, the young deity waited for her to continue with wide, ravenous eyes.
She sighed and continued.
“But, every now and again, there will be a time when these machines can be levered into new directions. The change will be sweeping and terrible and, like the machine itself, impossible to understand in one lifetime. On top of that, the change can only be made if there is a person there at the right time with the will to push the lever.”
“So, what?” A wrinkle split the godling’s forehead like a fault in the plates of the earth. “The best we can do is spend our lives waiting around and hoping we’re in the right place at the right time to spot the lever and push it?”
Ash looked around at the church. The last time she had been here, it had been for the inquest into Iris’s death. She could still picture the textureless faces of the Examiners who had been summoned to hear it.
“No. You spend your life - and, believe me, *spend* is the right word - in trying to create the time, in trying to build the lever, and in trying to create the *will*. The gears of the machine are great and uncaring, they cannot be moved and will crush us if we try. Yet we dig our claws in anyway, and we try to find a bolthole in the gaps of the gears’ massive teeth. Still, it may grind us to paste. 
“But in a hundred years, someone may find that we have gummed up the works just enough to buy them a second’s grace. And they may find that the toothpick we lodged in the gap is just sturdy enough to be the lever they need.”
“Or no-one finds it. Or the toothpick breaks. Or a second isn’t enough.” The child god’s voice echoed round the church, and Ash saw the walls shimmer. “And all we bought with our lives is a slightly worse machine.”
Ash could feel the stone around them begin to vibrate, resonating with the boy’s uncertain divine will; unsure whether they should remake themselves or break apart.
“True enough. But if the work of my life is to make a machine that kills hope and makes despair a *tiny* bit worse … I think that may be a life well spent.”
“I don’t think that should be enough. That is not right.”
Ash looked down. She could see her flesh, translucent through her threadbare robes, the whole mess of atoms threatening to fly apart. She willed them back together. Her nerves screamed with the strain of it.
“I have little enough to sacrifice on the world’s wheel. A handful of days. A skinful of blood and bones. A few scraps of truth. I will lay them down where I will and get back what I can. If you don’t like the exchange rate I get in return, find a way to give more. And damn your judgement, otherwise.”
The stained glass light in the church flickered. The vibrations in her skull quickened. Then the little god took a breath.The quiet maelstrom reached its peak and calmed.
“This is not how I expected a priest to speak to a god. But I suppose I am just *barely* a god so far.”
“And I’m only barely still a priest. So, y’know … we make a good pair.”
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xspeter · 1 year
Note
Can you plz write a Finnick Odair x reader with the prompts #10 and #23??? Thank you!!!
CARDIGAN
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finnick odair x fem!reader
synopsis: when your bestfriend won the hunger games you had been ecstatic, but now years later, you realize the person he was had died in that arena.
note: i know that technically finnick is supposed to mentor the tributes but we’re just gonna pretend he’s not for a little bit ok…
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𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ❦ 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐧 ✧ 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ༅
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you're not sure you'll ever be able to forget how it felt when your world stopped spinning. it felt as if all the air had been knocked out of your lungs, it felt as if you were dying.
“our male tribute this year is… finnick odair!” you watched as the boy tensed, then with his chin held high, walked onto the stage as nonchantly as possible, as if being reeped was child play.
but you knew him better, you could see the fear in his eyes. he could never hide it from you.
even as he shook the female tributes hand, you could still see the slight wobble to his knees, the way his shoulders tensed.
you had never ran faster then you had when you’d been informed you could say goodbye, bursting through the doors with so much force you’re sure the knobs left a hole in the wall.
“finnick…” you whimpered, rushing to hug the boy. he held you tighter than you’d ever been held before. when you pulled away you could see the slight gloss in his eyes as he sadly smiled at you.
“finnick.” you whispered, “you have to win.” the boy bit his lip and avoided your eyes, “y/n-” he attempts but you cut him off, “no finnick. you are strong. stronger than any of them! who cares that you’re only fourteen, you’re the strongest fourteen year old i know.”
finnick let’s out a sob at that and you quickly pull him back against you, “you’re going to win finnick. i know you will.”
running a flower shop in the middle of a fishing district may have not been the best idea, but you didn’t really care. the customers who did come were loyal and kind, and you loved taking care of the flowers.
there was no buisness today though, because of the 74th hunger games reaping. you had long since aged out of the competition, but that didn’t mean your chest didn’t tighten for the children who would be forced to fight to the death.
you sighed as you made your way to the plaza, solemnly taking your place amongst your peers to watch another child sacrifice.
as the mayor steps on stage your district sponsor is quick to follow, as well as the previous winning tributes.
the first is annie cresta, who you still had a hard time understanding how she won, mags flannagan, an older woman who had won decades ago, and… finnick.
when finnick won, you had been over the moon, crying and jumping and screaming in joy. when he arrived back home, you had been waiting on his doorstep. you had hugged him so tight, you were positive you might suffocate him but he didn’t care, he had hugged you back with the same force.
“i told you you could win.” you whispered and he smiled against your ear. “i thought of you every day,” he whispers, “you’re what kept me going.” you cheeks burn scarlet as your eyes widen.
he pulls away from you and winks, grabbing his suitcase from the trunk and walking past you into his house.
after that, finnick began to flirt with you more. you enjoyed it really, you did, but you also found it a bit weird.
finnick had never been a shy kid per say, but he had never been bold.
everytime you talked to finnick now he was either flirting with you, boasting about his win, or just flat out ignoring you.
you understood, really, you did. you know going through something as horrible as a literal fight to the death would change a person, but finnick had become a cocky, mean boy.
you found yourself dreading hanging out with him because you knew you weren’t going to enjoy yourself.
“yeah, and then i crept up on him from behind and i took my knife and- are you even listening?” he scoffs.
“what?” you question, “oh, sorry, could you say it again?” you mutter and finnick narrows his eyes at you.
“what’s wrong with you lately? you barely even listen when i talk anymore.” he says and you can’t help but agree with him. but it was only because everytime he talked, he was telling the same exact story you’d heard a million other times.
“i’m sorry, i’m just out of it i guess.” you sigh, running a hand through your hair. finnick glares at you and grabs his coat, “whatever.” and he leaves.
you watched him retreat in shock, surely he wasn’t mad at you was he? and mad he was, because everytime you talked after that he was short and rude, always ignoring you and pretending you didn’t even exist.
“okay, seriously what is wrong with you!” you yell and finnick rolls his eyes, “dunno.” you inhale as you try and calm yourself, you need to remember that he was processing trauma.
“look, finnick, i know the hunger games had to have taken some mental toll on you-” you try to sympathize but his icy glare is on you in seconds, “don’t be dumb, y/n! i won. why would i be traumatized?” he growls and you stare at him in shock.
“finnick-” you reach out to him but he smacks your hand away and you gasp, “whatever, i don’t need this and i don’t need you!” he hisses and walks away, and you never see him again after that.
you chew on your bottom lip as the first tribute is called, a sixteen year old girl named lori. finnick smiles at her as she walks onto the stage, her eyes wide.
finnicks eyes scan the crowd, and when they land on you, they stay there for a moment, before he swallows and pulls them away. you ignore the ache in your chest.
once both tributes are called and have shaken hands, the crowd disperses and everyone is told to head back to work.
you weave through the crowd, trying to ignore the loud wails of a mother who just lost a child, and instead focus on opening shop for the day.
as you enter you’re not sure why you don’t just close up on reaping day, you never get customers and always end up drawing at the counter.
and just like every other year, you yet again end up closing shop early. you sigh as you make your way back home, thankful it’s spring and not winter.
when you enter your house you’re surprised to see a man on your porch, and though you know it’s probably just your brother, you still pull out your keys and prepare yourself to attack if necessary.
“can i help you?” you say, keeping distance between you and this mystery person.
when they turn around though, you wish you never would’ve said anything.
it’s finnick, except he doesn’t look like himself. he stumbles a bit as he walks over to you, and you can tell by the haze in his eyes that he’s drunk.
you sigh as he stands in front of you, and even if he’s drunk you can’t deny that he grew into his features quite nicely.
“what’re you doing here?” you mumble and he shrugs, “miss you.” he slurs and you nearly topple over.
“you’re drunk finnick.” you hiss and he shakes his head, “yeah, doesn’t mean i don’t miss you.” you run a hand through your hair, ignoring the burning in your cheeks at his confession.
“where do you live? i’ll walk you there.” you ask but he shakes his head, “no- no can’t go home. s’too much.” he mumbles and you tighten your lips into a thin line, if he won’t go home you’re not sure where else you could take him so he could sleep for the night, so against your better judgment, you decide to let him stay for the night.
you look for any clothes he could change into as he collapses onto your couch, and your happy to find one of your brothers old shirts and a pair of shorts you had bought that ended being too big for you, but looked to be a decent size for him.
“here.” you murmur, handing him the clothes and he sluggishly takes them from your grasp, and begins shamelessly undressing in front of you.
your eyes go wide as you quickly turn around, and finnick barks out a laugh. when he’s finished, you fetch a cup of water for him to sober up, and he chugs it in one big gulp.
you hand a pillow and a blanket so he can sleep for the night, and as you go to turn out the light he calls out your name.
“yes?” you reply, and he’s silent for a moment before he whimpers, “i’m sorry.”
when you wake you almost forget that finnicks on your couch, until you step out of your room to make your morning coffee and are met by loud snores.
you roll your eyes playfully, and continue as quietly as possible. but clearly not quiet enough, because as soon as you open the cabinet he shoots up, eyes wide and breathing rapid.
you stare at him with wide eyes as he swallows and runs a hand through his hair, and winces. hangover you think and smile amusedly as he stands, and makes his way towards you.
“think you could make me a cup of that?” he asks and you nod, pulling out a bottle of medicine from your cabinet. he thanks you and takes them, and you both sit in silence for sip your coffee for what feels like ages.
“i meant it, you know.” he says suddenly and you furrow your eyebrows, “what do you mean?” you question and he shrugs, “when i said i missed you. and that i was sorry.” you try to glance at him as nonchalantly as you can, but he can see right through you and you know he can.
“why are you telling me this?” you question, and he bites his bottom lip and keeps his eyes trained on the floor.
“after i won the games, i didn’t want to admit that i was getting nightmares. or that everytime i heard a loud noise i was back there, in that arena, so i pretended it didn’t bother me.” he explains and you nod as you listen, “but you were just so… so persistent. i knew i couldn’t lie to you for much longer, so i stopped talking to you instead.” he says and you furrow your eyebrows.
“okay, finnick, why are you telling me this?” you question, running a hand across your face. he laughs, confused. “what do you mean?”
“i mean, why are trying to explain this to me? do you know how long it took me to get over you? and- and now you’re just trying to come back into my life like you didn’t practically ruin me for anyone else?” you fume and finnick stares at you, his mouth hanging open.
“y/n-” he tries to say but you interrupt, “don’t! just- just don’t.” you mumble as you brush the tears out of your eyes, walking past him and slamming your bedroom door.
he seems to get the message because the next thing you hear is your front door opening and closing, and you finally allow yourself to sob.
the next day at work you’re exhausted, and every customer that comes in can clearly tell because they look at you with sympathy.
you try not to think about your conversation with finnick. you really do try, but everytime the bell rings you think it’s him, but it never is.
until it finally is, and he’s standing there, looking at your numerous flower displays when he picks one up and brings them over to the counter.
“how much are these?” he asks and you stumble over your words as you answer. “um, 10 dollars.” you finally manage and he smiles and hands you the money, and then hands you the flowers.
“finnick…” you sigh and he nods his head. “i know what you said, but i-i really do miss you. god, i miss you. i’ve never been able to stop thinking about you, and i regret what i said to you every time i breathe.” he says and your breath catches in your throat.
“take me out to dinner if you really mean that.” you swallow and try to ignore the blush coating your cheeks, his eyes widen and he smiles, “i’ll pick you up at seven then.”
you’d like to think the past year was always meant to happen. that you were made for finnick and he was made for you.
after he took you on your first date, you two had slowly reconciled your friendship, until eventually he confessed his love for you. you reciprocated of course.
you groan as you wake, finnick is next to you, an arm thrown across your stomach as he huddles into your side. you smile.
you brush your fingers across his cheek, memorizing his features with your touch.
last night the 75th quarter quell had been revealed, and you want to throw up everytime you think of it.
they were bringing back the victors for the next game.
considering there were only two other male victors in your district, the chances of finnick getting reaped were extremely high. you feel your eyes tear up at the thought of losing him again, when a hand runs up and down your waist, and you're met with finnicks piercing blue eyes.
“what’re you thinking about?” finnick asks, his voice is raspy with sleep, but by the way his jaw clenches you know he’s thinking about the same exact thing.
“just… how much i love you.” you whisper and he smiles and begins playing with the ends of your hair, when his eyebrows furrow and he inhales.
“y/n, listen-” he begins but you interject, “don’t, finnick. you’re not going to leave me again i’d rather die than let you do that. if you get reaped, you’ll win. you’ve done it before and you can do it again.” you mutter and he tightens his lips into a thin line.
“it’s different this time, love. these people- they’ve all gone through this before, they understand how this works. i can’t promise you i’ll come back.” he sniffs, pulling you against his chest as you begin to sob.
“don’t you dare say that, finnick. you will come back. you have to promise me you’ll come back.” you cry, looking up at him through teary eyelashes.
he frowns and kisses your forehead, “i promise.”
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hope this was up to your expectations! thank you for requesting!
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