#I wonder if they want to seem tough for their parents too

[phatcatphergus]

There’s something so sweet about how the eggs are acting like actual kids, especially the older ones like Ramon and Chay. They’re so on edge and ready to fight all the time but now they’re so excited to decorate a room and act like their age because they feel safe and protected

[strangersteddierthings]

"Look, Steve, I don't have any bad feelings towards you," Eddie says, has been saying, talking nonsense, like he and Steve weren't anything more than fuckbuddies, like he isn't breaking Steve's heart. "I used you too, y'know?"

It's then Steve rears back like he been slapped. Or punched. It feels more like a gutting. Joke's on him, he supposes. Once again, he wants more than the other person. He wanted a boyfriend, Eddie'd wanted sex. Why does he keep trying? When Steve finds his voice to speak, it comes out flat and dead and not really like a question at all. "Used me. Like you think I've used you?"

Eddie shrugs, looking for all the world like he's not bothered by that statement. "We had fun, right? So it's all fine in the end."

"Fine," Steve repeats, hollow. They're in his house but Steve feels the need to leave, to run before the reality of how unlovable he truly is sticks inside him forever.

"But I think we should stop while we're ahead," Eddie continues and Steve wonders if Eddie is listening to him at all, or just saying his piece before he goes. Can he not hear Steve's heart breaking? "I want to... I want to find someone to love."

If Eddie's previous words felt like being gutted, these ones feel like cement. Heavy and solidifying. Trapping in the truth of Ever Unlovable Steve. He doesn't even feel heartbroken anymore. Just numb. Dead inside. He should say something encouraging. Let Eddie know that all he's wanted was for Eddie to be happy and loved. But words seem impossible, so he gives one jerky nod of his head. An understanding.

"Right," Eddie says, returning the nod before turning away, towards the door, "I'll just go now. Umm, see ya later, Harrington."

Facing the horrors of the Upside Down should feel like the scariest thing he's ever done but it doesn't. Watching Eddie walk away does. Steve should be able to hold it together long enough for Eddie to leave. He's the tough one. He can hold himself together no problem-

"Why can't you love me?"

Eddie whips back around, an expression on his face like confusion and anger mixed.

It's only then that Steve realizes he spoke. He hasn't meant to. He was going to let Eddie walk away but now his voice has been freed from the cement. His heart has shut down his brain it seems because he just keeps talking, voice flat and hollow, "why can't you love me the way I love you? What is so broken and wrong within me that no one loves me back? My parents, Nancy, now you. Why can't- I thought that we were- where did I go wrong?"

"What?" Eddie asks, and the anger is gone from his face but now he just looks horrified. Which is understandable. It's horrifying to be loved by Steve Harrington. "What did you think we were?"

Boyfriends. Together. Going steady. At the very least, dating without labels. But none of those very reasonable, normal answers come out of Steve's treacherous mouth. Because Steve can't seem to be a reasonable, normal person. He's got to be too much, too soon, too clingy. So, instead, he says, "In love."

Eddie looks like he's just received the worst news of his life. In fact, he looks a little sick. "Oh fuck. Jesus Christ. I can't- I thought- Fuck!"

Steve just nods along. He hadn't actually said I love you to Nancy that night at Tina's Halloween party, but he imagines if he had, the beginning of the bullshit conversation would have sounded much the same as Eddie does now; like anger and regret, the starts and stops. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- if you want to go, you should go."

Eddie crosses the room back to Steve in half the steps he took when he first walked away, hands reaching to grab Steve's face between them. He speaks quickly and sounds panicked now. "No, no no no. I fucked up, misunderstood. I don't know how I got it so wrong. I don't want to go. I never did."

"What?"

"I am in love with you, sweetheart. I just- I didn't know you loved me back. I thought you didn't- that we weren't..."

"I thought we were boyfriends."

"Jesus, please let me fix this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I'll be the best fucking boyfriend you've ever had."

Steve thinks if he had any shred of self-worth he might step back, make Eddie explain himself, but as it is, he steps into Eddie's space and kisses him, hands pulling him as close as he can get. He doesn't want to think about the cruel things Eddie's said, about using each other. Maybe one day they'll have to hash that out, have that conversation, but Eddie says he loves him too, and that's all Steve's wanted.

[adelheidvonschicksal]

JJK crew with Fem Reader that visits their S/O’s home for the first time and meets their S/O’s cute puppy or kitten! If you choose puppy, could you please make it a Golden Retriever? If not, then a kitten’s small meows could pierce your heart!

Yuuji + Puppy

Itadori adores animals especially dogs. He’d always pet the neighbor’s dog to and from school before coming to Jujutsu Tech. He wanted a dog himself; but between his granddad’s bad-temperedness and their financial situation, it was out of the question.

When you finally tell him you have a puppy, he absolutely can’t wait to see it. He also figures you won’t be mean like Megumi either and get mad at him for petting the puppy for a few minutes…or an hour.

Watching him coo over the pup and play fetch, it’s almost like having equally excitable puppies. It takes a gentle reminder to get him serious about the real reason you’re here to visit, which is to meet your parents.

He immediately straightens up but ends up cracking for one more pet. How can he resist when those big brown eyes are watching him and his bright golden tail is thumping happily against the floor.

Megumi + Kitten

Megumi constantly repeats to you how he isn’t really a cat person despite being a fan of animals in general and despite you teasing him about how he apparently “behaves like a cat”. Nonetheless, you reassure him that your cat will definitely be his type.

He listens as you go on about your sweet fluffball of a kitten. You tell him you’ve been taking care of her since you found her as a fresh baby almost four weeks ago. She’s a pure white powder puff with big blue eyes and the most adorable meow that will melt his grumpy heart. Megumi doubts it but not for long when he finally meets your kitten.

She’s too precious, old enough to get around on her own and hold her tail up but still young enough to waddle everywhere, tiny legs hindered by a warm water balloon of a belly, causing her to occasionally take tiny stumbles toward him as she meowed for human attention and pets.

Megumi doesn’t think he’s ever met a cat this friendly, or one that fits and cradles so perfectly in his open hands. You’re trying your hardest to resist the urge to tease him as he offers to help you feed the kitten her bottle.

What you can’t resist is sending a picture in the group chat of Megumi and you kitten snuggled up asleep on the couch together with the caption: ebony and ivory.

 Gojo + Puppy

This man gets so excited around animals. Like Itadori, he wasn’t really allowed to have many pets growing up aside from some koi fish in the pond at the estate, which while pretty could get boring.

At first, your puppy doesn’t really like him. A tall, loud guy like him easily sends the puppy into a barking frenzy between angry and terrified. You’re sure Gojo was offended the first time the puppy rejected him, a huffy pout on his face as the dog avoided him.

He becomes a bit more playful once he accepts that the puppy probably won’t warm up to him, always teasing the pup whenever he snaps tiny teeth at him. “Oho, you think you can take on the strongest?” he remarks and goes in for the pet.

Sometimes you wonder if Gojo might actually dislike the puppy when the two get into competition for your attention, but he shrugs it off. “At least I don’t have to worry about you living alone,” he reassures you with a trademark laugh. “Hell, he’s almost as tough as Megumi’s dogs, you should let me take him out in the field.”

After that, you come to realize that Satoru might actually enjoy getting chased around by your puppy, and it isn’t long until you accept that this is how they seem to bond especially as your puppy gets older and starts to become more familiar with Satoru to the point that you think in a strange way that he likes the man more than you.

It especially becomes clear when Satoru spends the night and your big dog – no longer a puppy – decides to sleep in bed right at his feet, making you pout.

When he sticks his tongue out at you and calls you jealous, you decide that his shoulder looks really slap-able.   

Choso + Kitten

Choso is staring at your kitty with the biggest eyes you’ve ever seen on the man. You hold the sweet little gray and white tabby closer to his face, a smile a mile wide as you introduce your family member, expecting for him to return your excitement. Instead he asks, “What is it?”

“It’s a kitten,” you tell him, and he scrunches his face at the little feline with deeper interest.

It dawns on you that this may be the first time he’s ever seen one of the creatures, and you decide that he needs a crash course on pets. You quickly explain to him about cats and why people like animal companions in general. However, it isn’t until your cat reaches out, places the first little paw on Choso’s cheek, and mewls that it really sinks in to him. Smiling approvingly at the action, he takes the kitten from you.

He sits on the couch with your pet, scratching behind her ears and gently squishing her cute little pink paw pads while you head to the kitchen to make drinks. Just when you’re almost done, you hear a call of your name from the other room. You quickly come back to check on the two and notice him looking worried and plain STRESSED, like he did something wrong.

“She made a noise at me,” he explains.

“What kind of noise?”

You step closer and carefully pat the kitten’s head. She immediately stretches out and starts to vibrate and grumble with content.

“That noise.”

Chuckling, you explain. “She’s purring. It means she likes you a lot!”

“I see,” he says, relaxing with your explanation. His smile returns as he gently returns to stroking the kitten’s head with an affection you’ve only seen saved for yourself and his brother. “Purring would be too much for me to do but I like you a lot too.”

[rebouks]

Brodie Sampson was a foreboding man, but he somewhat reminded Robin of his father; tough and weathered on the outside, with a soft, gooey centre reserved for those who knew him closely. His voice was gruff when he finally decided to speak.

“I thought I told you not to wander off-.. and who is this?”

Alex rolled her eyes, resenting the way her father constantly scolded her for leaving the watchtower, despite the fact that he left for hours and hours every day.

“I was bored, and this is Robin-.. but he can’t talk.”

Brodie scoffed, “That’s convenient.”

“He’s fun and nice, don’t stress over it-.. please?” Alex asked, or rather, demanded, throwing a dusty notepad and a pencil in front of Robin. He’d promised to write his address down for her so she could write to him, they were going to be pen-pals!

Brodie grumbled, immediately dropping any misgivings, just as Alex had asked. “What do you want from the store?”

“Gummy worms!” Alex shouted.

“You’ll have no teeth left…” Brodie tutted, grabbing his coat.

“They’ll grow back.” Alex shoved a finger in her mouth, prodding the exposed gum where her front teeth used to be.

“Hm-.. you better get yourself gone soon, son. I’m sure your parents are wondering where you are.” Brodie squinted at Alex as he headed out, as if to warn her against convincing Robin to stay any longer; she stuck her tongue out at him.

Robin nodded as Brodie left, hastily scrawling down the rest of his address. He wondered if he ought to write anything else, an apology perhaps? He felt bad that he hadn’t managed to speak to Alex yet, but he was going home soon, so the opportunity had already passed. Maybe he didn’t have anything interesting to say, anyway.

“He’s nice really, he’s just-.. moody, or whatever.”

Robin forced a smile as she continued.

“It’s so not fair, having to stay cooped up in here all day-.. what does he expect?”

Robin supposed he expected his daughter to listen to him, though he also supposed it wasn’t fair that she had to stay here alone every day either. Did she go to school? Were they on some kind of permanent vacation? He’d have to remember to ask her when they wrote to one another, they’d have more chance of getting to know each other that way-.. especially since he still seemed unable to talk like a normal human being.

Alex hovered at the top of the staircase, blocking Robin’s path.

“I don’t want you to go-.. home, I mean.” She clarified.

For some reason, Robin found it hard to read Alex, but he could sense enough to know that she was lonely. She seemed much more present than anyone else he knew; often avoiding thinking about the past or the future, or ruminating on her thoughts for too long, instead acting on contagious, frivolous impulsiveness.

He couldn’t decide whether it was refreshing or frustrating. He’d gotten used to knowing what went on in people’s minds, and whether he liked it or not, Alex was an enigma. Robin would’ve done anything to avoid going home-.. and back to school, but since he couldn’t say so out loud, he did the next best thing.

“Ough!” Alex squeaked with surprise as Robin yanked her off her feet, wrapping his arms around her in a vice like bear hug.

Since he was so awkward with his words-.. or lack thereof, she’d wrongly assumed he’d be weirded out by physical affection too. Giggling slightly, she decided it was quite nice to be wrong. Her father wasn’t exactly a hugger, and it wasn’t as though she had anyone else she could randomly accost with her need for affection, people would think she was odd or clingy.

“I guess you don’t want to go either?” She asked, almost rhetorically.

Robin shook his head vigorously, tilting backwards precariously until Alex squealed again.

“Okay, okay, you can put me down now.. I promise I’ll write!”

Previous // Next

[sinisteryanderescribe]

Slides into your ask box, do have any dark or nondark headcanons for Norton Campbell?

Norton Campbell Headcanon

Summery: a mysterious and enigmatic individual, whose inscrutable demeanor conceals a complex and intriguing past.

Genre: slight angst, mentions of Norton’s backstory, fluff , hints of violence, hints of harassment, fem reader

Note: *opens ask box* hello there! I didn’t have any Norton head-canons so far so this is the first one, hope you like it! Sorry for taking long dear.

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It is very known that Norton in the eyes of others was always someone hard to deal with. Growing up in poverty surrounded by factories and polluted air, as well as losing his parents at a young age effected both his mentality and physical strength. It didn’t help either with how much little food he was getting…but it thankfully kept him alive enough much longer than he thought. Despite the hardships there is still a spark of determination within him that fills him with hope to escape such a miserable life.

Upon learning through life the harsh way he developed a deep resentment towards the wealthy and privileged, feeling like they had everything handed to them while he struggled to make ends meet. Despite his hardships, Norton possessed a sharp intellect and a strong work ethic, often taking in much longer times in the mines & pressing more pressure on himself.

It should be obvious that this man would develop a wall around him, due to how he would be treated by others. Trust is something Norton gave up on a long time ago. Ever since death took his father, the only man who held his trust and protection, away from him he learned the hard way to never rely on others other than himself.

You took notice of this of course, being the nurse that is. It was your job to note down each and every one of the men’s healths down. Though Norton was the most to stand out, given how he would always be the one to be brought to your office all beaten up and bruised. Thus how you’ve found yourself paying more attention to the scruffy man.

He was a stubborn one alright, either a miner or a guard had to drag him all the way to you simply cause he saw it as a sigh of weakness and refused to take acknowledge of his injuries just to get back to work.

You never thought about why he was this eager to get back to working in the mines, it was a hellish work alright yet he had always wanted to keep working more and longer than the others. No one really understood why he would go this far or what his goal was but, either way they simply shrugged it off.

Here you are again as you find yourself sitting in front of Norton, quiet and intimidating as he can be, as he sits on the bed, his cold eyes fixed on you without a word. Making you slightly nervous; His taller frame doesn’t help either, he may be slender but his body almost towering over you says otherwise.

The room is filled with the sound of your gentle movements as you tend to his injuries. You clean his face, hands, and arms tenderly, holding back from running your fingers on the scar surrounding his eye. Your touch a stark contrast to his tough exterior.

Norton's silence is heavy in the air, but you've grown accustomed to it. You know that beneath his gruff exterior lies a man who has seen too much hardship in the mines. His injuries, a result of the harsh conditions he faces daily, speak volumes about the dangers of his profession.

As you carefully tend to his wounds, you can't help but wonder about the story behind each scar and bruise. You've heard whispers from the other miners about Norton's solitary nature and the frequent injuries he sustains. Despite his reluctance to seek help, you can see a glimmer of gratitude in his eyes as you work to ease his pain.

He may seem rough yet….you know he isn’t one of the nasty men that would eye you up knowing the unpleasant thoughts that lie within their corrupted minds. He’s got a certain….charm to him, and denying the fact that he himself is quite a handsome man would be a lie.

All he does really is play with a strand of your hair or fiddle with your skirt, to pass the time whenever you’re taking care of him. It surprised you at first yet it was a small sigh of him putting his guard down whenever your around.

It’s really cute actually….and it made you warm inside…

Despite the distrust that lie in his eyes, Norton never really mistreated you nor physically or verbally. All there was, silence and a small nod he’d give you whenever you’d finish healing him up.

Which led you to always secretly make him a warm healthy meal, that would fill him up. It did bring up suspicion on his side but he never refused the offer and found himself digging in realising the desperate hunger that he lived throughout his life, melting at each bite he would take.

In this quiet moment, you find yourself wishing to break through his tough exterior, to offer him the comfort and solace he so clearly needs. You continue your ministrations with care, hoping that your presence brings him some measure of relief, if only for a brief moment in the harsh world of the mines.

As you finish cleaning Norton's wounds, you carefully wrap them up, ensuring that they are protected and will heal properly. You then prepare his medication for the day, knowing that he needs it to manage the pain from his lungs. Thankfully reducing the constant coughing he suffers from. As you hand him the medication, he meets your gaze for a moment, and you catch a hint of something softer in his eyes, a fleeting expression that speaks volumes.

In that brief exchange, you sense a silent gratitude from Norton, a recognition of the care and attention you've devoted to his well-being. Despite his stoic demeanor, you can tell that he appreciates your efforts, even if he struggles to express it in words. You understand that for a man like Norton, actions speak louder than any conversation could.

You watch him take the medication, his movements are measured and deliberate, a reflection of the resilience he carries within him. Giving him a sweet smile you can't help but admire his strength, both physical and emotional, as he endures the harshness of his work with a quiet determination.

Your presence and care have made a difference, however small, in Norton's life. You may not be able to erase the pain and challenges he faces in the mines, but you can offer him a moment of respite, a touch of compassion in a harsh world.

….the next working days you started finding different colours of small gems laying on your office table

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[chrisevansonly]

Block Out the Noise

pairing: harry styles x female reader

summary: sometimes you just need to listen to your song and love on your boyfriend to make the negative thoughts go away

warnings: mention of past abuse, talks of depression and suicidal thoughts, potentially triggering(?!) very soft and caring harry<3

a/n: i wanted to write something about matilda because it’s a song that I hold so close to my heart. from growing up in an abusive home and needing to take care of my brother from age 6 and up, when i heard matilda i knew it would be a song i’d cherish forever. this is a fic i hold close to my heart because i was that scared and small little girl who didn’t understand why i got anger taken out on me and why i had bruises when other kids didn’t. you’re not alone, you’ve got me in your corner and your stronger than you know, i hope my inner child knows that too<3

No one asks to be born into a world of chaos and fear, especially not when you’re a child. Wondering why your parents fought, the screaming matches, the subtle bruises you somehow ended up with because you ‘stood in the way.’ As a child you never knew what went wrong or what you did to be treated this way but you still tried your hardest regardless of the war zone you once called home.

you were riding your bike to the sound of its no big deal, and you’re trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels..

You taught yourself to read, to cook, to take care of yourself and your siblings. Going as far as to teach yourself to ride a bike and even drive, you raised yourself in a world where you wished you hadn’t needed to do that. When you got to high school the insults from your father got worse, the insecurity creeped in and you struggled with self worth and self harm.

nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming til now..

Then came college where you worked three jobs to pay your tuition and fought tooth and nail to get the best grades and work your absolute hardest to get your degree which you did all on your own. Mental illness and recovery was never linear and you battled some of your darkest days throughout college and even towards graduation when you met Harry.

so you tie up your hair and you smile like it’s no big deal

Harry was your world, he was the calm through the storm, the light that helped guide you through the tough times, he truly was your best friend. You’d been together now going on 5 years with no plans of ever separating from one another. He always told you that you provided just as much safety and comfort to him as he could to you.

you can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, cause they never showed you love, you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

-

Now you were 26 and worked at your dream job, your life was filled with so much love and so much joy sometimes you found yourself needing to take a step back and just breathe, reminding yourself your life was real. Of course you had your rough days, and after the meeting and scolding you’d gotten today, all you wanted was to get home and see Harry.

matilda, you talk of the pain like it's all alright, but I know that you feel like a piece of you's dead inside

When Harry had started working on the album, he’d told you he was writing one very special song he couldn’t wait to share with you. So on the day that he sat you down and let you listen to Matilda, by the second line you were looking over at him with tears in your eyes, bottom lip wobbling ever so slightly and he was quick to pull you into his chest.

You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days

When you arrived home you dropped your work things by the front closet, kicking your heels off and dropping your shoulders in exhaustion. Harry wasn’t home yet so you allowed yourself a few minutes to get some water, your headphones and settle on the couch with a fluffy blanket.

it’s none of my business but it’s just been on my mind

On natural instinct almost, you allowed the soft melody of matilda to play through your headphones, eyes closing as you sunk into the cushions. It wasn’t as if you were trying to cower from the overwhelming feelings you had in this moment, but more or less trying to let them flow and escape from your mind

you can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know and not invite your family, cause they never showed you love, you don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up

You hadn’t even noticed the tears steadily falling down your cheeks, your breathing picking up slightly as you pulled the blanket up further, attempting to wrap yourself in more warmth. It wasn’t until you felt gentle fingertips dancing across your face that you opened your eyes, Harry looking at you in concern. Pausing the song you pulled your headphones off and sent him a soft smile

“Hey m’love…”

“Hi”

Lifting the blanket up you let him cuddle in next to you, the instant comfort you felt just from being wrapped up in his arms was enough to blow the stress and pain from the day away

“You okay y/n?”

Nodding you leaned further into him

“Just had a really bad day…got yelled at and it just made me think of old stuff and I don’t know…f-felt a bit sad”

Harry placed a soft kiss against your temple

“I’m sorry today was so tough, I know it was probably hard to remember what it was like growing up too..can’t blame you for feeling upset”

His hands ran up and down your arm softly, the constant touch helping to keep you grounded and in the present moment.

“You know what I think?”

Looking up at him you furrowed your brows

“What?”

Placing a kiss on your lips he smiled

“I think you are the most beautiful soul, inside and out. Despite everything you’re still here, fighting and working hard day in and day out. You don’t ever have to feel sorry or feel bad about doing everything you’ve done on your own, and allowing yourself to love and experience love despite it all”

“H…”

He was quick to swipe a tear from your cheek before continuing

“I love you so much, you’re my now and my future. Seeing you grow and flourish into the woman you are today has been a privilege to witness and support you through. I admire you so much m’baby, you’ve never let anyone dim your light and m’so lucky to get to love you”

Anything you would have said to him in this moment was caught in your throat, so wrapping your arms around him and holding him tight was enough for him in the moment. Harry was the moon and the stars to you, he was your whole universe and he’d been helping you heal since you’d been together. You’d done the hardest work on this journey, he had just been there to support and love you through it so he says.

“I love you so much H, thank you for letting me start a new family”

“I’ll always be your family, you’re safe with me my darling, always”

Matilda was a song that would forever have its hold on you, and it was even more special knowing Harry had wrote it thinking of you, including you in his album and one of his projects he really loved. The love he’d shown you and continues to show you had only helped you come out of your shell and finally feel as if you’d found your place and purpose in this world.

Harry was your home, just as you were his.

a/n if you or someone you know is struggling with abuse please reach out to someone you know, whether it be a friend, family member or adult you trust. I’d only wished i’d done so earlier, i’m here to help and support you guys in anyway I can. You are loved, you are cherished and you are worth it.

[fandom-chic]

Please Please Please: Chapter 3

Summary: Y/N is only a child when she and Tommy Shelby meet. The two quickly become best friends as they grow up in Small Heath. As the years go by, Y/N and Tommy realize there may be more to their friendship than they originally thought.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Y/N

Previous chapter

Year: 1913

She spun around slowly, observing how the dress fell on her frame. It had belonged to her mother, and she couldn't help but feel it suited her mother better than herself. Nevertheless, it would have to suffice. Tonight, she was meeting James, and she wanted to appear nothing short of beautiful. They had been seeing each other for almost nine months, and although it felt like an eternity to her youthful mind, she knew that everything was still fresh and new. At this point in the relationship, she believed that external beauty held great importance.

James was a good man. Shit, that was an understatement to say the least. His family came from old money. It was the kind of wealth she dreamt about. Wealth that her family had never known and might never know. He didn’t keep it a secret either. On their first date, he had taken her to the nicest restaurant she had ever stepped into. All she ordered was soup and water, worried that she would come off as a mooch. James had chuckled and ordered her a glass of wine, reassuring her not to worry about the bill. But she worried.

James was also training to be a solicitor. That was a job that had lots of prospects and a steady future. It was the kind of job a husband would have. It would allow him to make a decent living while also being able to come home to his family every night. It would also not leave him with anyone's blood on his hands, at least in the physical sense. Y/N ran her comb through her locks, contemplating her reflection.

It wasn’t a secret to her that a proposal was on the horizon. She had noticed the way her mother tossed her old dress at her and gave her an excited smile. Something was coming. It also didn’t hurt that she overheard her mother and father discussing the topic.

Y/N had stumbled out of bed early last Saturday. On her way to grab a coffee, she heard whispers coming from the kitchen. She quietly made her way over before stopping to hear what her parents were saying.

“That James fellow seems quite nice,” Mother had exclaimed enthusiastically.

“Yes he does,” Father replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Definitely would make a fine addition to this family,” her mother added, a smile evident in her voice.

“I would say so,” Y/N could hear the monotony in her father’s voice. Her mother seemed to notice it too.

“Would you?” Mother asked.

“I would,” Father said, there was defiance in his voice.

“You sure don’t sound like it,” Mother said, a sharp tip to her tone.

“I just,” there was hesitation in Father’s voice, “I just always imagined a different path for Y/N.” Mother snorted at that.

“What path is better than one with a solicitor from a wealthy family?” Y/N didn’t want to know the answer to that, and entered the kitchen at that moment. Both of her parents turned toward her, uneasiness plastered across their faces as they wondered what she heard. All she did was smile and say good morning, feigning ignorance. Her parents knew she heard but if they all pretended, maybe they could truly pretend it wasn’t reality.

Y/N picks up her lipstick, tracing the red along her lips. It was her favorite shade. She remembered the first day she put it on. She was sixteen and experimenting with makeup. When she stepped out of her house to see Tommy, she couldn’t forget his grin.

“Now that’s the classiest whore in all of Small Heath.” he had said, raising his eyebrows playfully.

“That better be a joke Thomas Shelby!” she warned.

“I thought you knew me better than that, Y/N,” he said, with a wink, “You look beautiful.” A hint of electricity flies erupts in her stomach.

“You think so?” She had a tough time looking up at him at that moment.

“Of course,” At that, he held his arm out for her. She laced her arm in his and they went off. 

“Fuck,” Y/N muttered to herself, seeing that in her moment of distraction, her lipstick had not decided to stay in the outline of her lips. Fucking Tommy, even absent, he ruined everything. He never showed up after their fight and she has not seen him around Small Heath. It was as if he had dropped off the face of the earth. But he hadn’t. He just didn’t want to see her. At that, a knock echoed on her door. 

Her father poked his head in. "James is here," he informed her. Y/N nodded, quickly grabbing a tissue to wipe away the smudge.

“Okay," she replied, sensing her father's lingering presence. She glanced back at him. "I'll be out in a few." He nodded, observing his daughter with an uneasy expression. "You know," he spoke up, entering the room, "you don't have to go if you don't want to." Y/N furrowed her eyebrows.

"Why wouldn't I want to go?" she asked. Her father sighed, closing the door behind him.

"You're my daughter, Y/N, and I can tell when something makes you happy and when it doesn't," he explained, sitting on her bed. "I can also see when you're doing something just to please your mother and me." Y/N turned to face her father, crossing her arms in front of her.

"James makes me happy, and I'm not doing this for you or Mum. If you have something else to say, say it, or you can leave," she asserted. Her father sighed but remained seated on the bed.

“I haven’t seen Tommy around here in a while.” her father stated. Y/N knew this conversation was coming.

"I don't want to talk about Tommy right now, Dad," she pleaded.

“And why is that?” he interjected.

“Because," she averted her gaze, "he hasn't made any effort to reach out to me, and I don't want to be the only one trying anymore. He's draining, and I can't bear his chaos any longer." Her father nodded, absorbing her words. 

“I understand,” He puts his hands on his knees, ready to get up, “Have a fun night with James,” At that, he exited the room, leaving the door open for Y/N to follow. She did so and found James waiting in the doorway, a smile adorning his face.

“You look beautiful,” he complimented as she walked toward him.

“Thank you,” she said, as he offered her his arm. 

He turned toward her father, “I’ll have her back by 10 PM.” Her father nodded, giving the couple a wave before they left. As the door closed behind them, she was greeted by the sight of something she had never seen before, an automobile. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight.

“My father purchased it for me last week and I thought I would take the loveliest girl in Small Heath for a ride.” James said, looking down at her. Y/N could not look him in the eye yet, wanting to take in as much of the car as she could. She had never seen one this close to her. It truly was the pinnacle of the high life.

“It’s amazing.” she whispered, almost in disbelief. 

“Indeed," James agreed, opening the passenger door for her. She cautiously climbed in, afraid of breaking something. James took his seat beside her on the driver's side, and the car roared to life, eliciting a gasp from Y/N. Then they were off. Y/N watched as the world outside the window zoomed past her. Small Heath had never seemed this enchanting before. Perhaps her father's stories held some truth.

“Wow,” she breathed. It wasn’t until she heard James clear his throat that she realized he had asked her a question. “Sorry, what was that?”

“I was asking how your teaching courses were coming along.” James inquired. 

“Oh, they’re going very well. Only a few months left before I am done.” Y/N answered, a proud smile dawning her face. 

“Very nice, very nice.” He muttered to himself as they drove down the street.

“And you,” she began, “how are your courses this semester?”

“Good.” he replied, refocusing his attention on the road. Y/N looked at James, expecting more words to follow that, but none came. From what Y/N had heard around Small Heath, law school was a grueling but fascinating time. But that did not seem to be the case for James.

“I can only imagine.” Was the only phrase she could think to answer with. 

“And a pretty imagination you have.” James responded as the couple pulled up to the restaurant. The words caused a pit to form in her stomach. Pretty imagination. What did that even mean? She stared into the windshield, curious about those words as James opened up her door. His hand gestured to the restaurant. “After you.” She gave him a curt nod as he assisted her out of the vehicle. She followed him in. The host gave them a smile as he brought them to their table. 

“What do you think you will order tonight?” James asked, looking over his menu. Y/N hadn’t looked at the menu yet as she watched the people of Small Heath wander. James gave a small snicker, tapping her hand. She jumped. “My dear, you have to at least look at the menu.” That same empty feeling washed over her.

“I will, just taking in the view.” she said, looking away from the window. Her eyes skimmed over the menu, not particularly focusing on any meal in particular. It was then she heard a voice she could recognize anywhere. She didn’t have to look up to know Tommy was in the same room as her. She couldn’t help herself from looking toward the door to catch a glimpse of him. To her surprise, he wasn’t alone. The most recent woman to have won Tommy’s heart had accompanied him. Her name was Greta and that was all she knew. Y/N’s gaze lingered as the couple began to move in her direction. It was when Tommy was sitting at the table directly in front of theirs did he notice her. He quickly shifted his gaze away, but hers remained on him. She couldn’t bear to look away, for all she knew, he could disappear again. 

“You know,” Y/N began, putting her menu down, “I heard that Oxford has one of the most prestigious law schools in the world, isn’t that true, James?” Her voice was pitched a bit louder than usual, she knew that. 

James gazed up from her menu, “Oh yes, it is quite the institution.” 

“Why don’t you tell me about your studies.” she said, letting her eyes move back to Tommy. This time, his eyes were locked on hers. James had begun to discuss his torts class, but Y/N could not decipher one word he was saying. All she could do was watch Tommy’s reaction, or lack of one.

“James, why did you pick the career path of a solicitor?” Y/N asked, “Is it because you enjoy helping people? Or because you like to see the world become more just?” James smiled at her question as he continued on about the world of law. This time, a reaction came out of Tommy. Disdain. His eyes narrowed as James passionately discussed his ambitions and dreams within law school. It was then that a bottle of chardonnay was brought to the table. She quickly took a large gulp, letting the warm feeling of alcohol run through her. She swallowed the rest of her drink before pouring herself a new one. 

“And, James, wouldn’t you say that your family is very well respected? Definitely, not the kind to bring a weapon to a meal, correct?” This caused James to cock an eyebrow. 

“Um, well, that is quite the question-”

“I just want to know that the man I associate myself with is an honorable one.” It was then she noticed Tommy excuse himself from his table and approached her. He stopped right beside her, leaning down so his mouth was right next to her ear.

“Outside, now.” And he proceeded outside.

“If you’ll excuse me.” Y/N said. James gave a nod before she got up and followed Tommy. As the door shut behind her, she looked to see Tommy lighting a cigarette, his body languid against the stone wall of the restaurant. His gaze drifted over to her and his eyes narrowed.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he asked, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

“What’s wrong with me?” she gestured towards herself, taking quick strides toward her friend, “What the hell is wrong with you?” 

“Why would there be anything wrong with me?” He took the cigarette out of his mouth, “I’m not the one causing a scene.” The nonchalance in his voice stabbed her, causing a part of her to break.

“How was any of that a scene? I was just having a conversation with my boyfriend.” Tommy snorted at that.

“A conversation? That’s not what I would’ve called it.” Tommy said, taking another drag. Y/N opened her mouth, trying to will a retort. Anything to match up to him. But all that could come out was silence. Tommy stubbed out his cigarette against the brick wall behind him. “Now if you would excuse me, I have a date to get back to.”

“Why didn’t you come back?” The words came out as a whisper. As they escaped her lips, she felt a tear come into her eye. Tommy took a breath, his hands falling into his pockets.

“You know why, Y/N,” he responded.

“No Tommy,” she said, shaking her head, “I do not, please tell me.” Her plea hung in the air. Finally, Tommy met her gaze again, and she saw a flicker of emotion pass across his face. It vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

“That day at the lake made me realize, we are two extremely different people. You want the solicitor husband, the beautiful house and the two kids raised by the nanny. You want to come home and relax on your day bed while your maid brings you your meals. If you stay close to me, that is not the life you will have. All those dreams will never come. Our friendship just doesn’t make sense anymore, Y/N and you know that.” Tommy said, finally moving away from her.

“Do you really feel that way?” she whispered. Tommy stared directly ahead before he gave a slight nod. Her stomach dropped to her feet as she began to come to accept a new reality, Tommy was gone.

“Tommy,” Everything in her wanted him to face her, but he stayed staring straight ahead “I miss you so much.” 

“I know.” Was all he said, before putting his head down and walking back inside. She was alone. She let her body collapse against the brick wall as the real sobs began to erupt from her. It was then she heard footsteps begin to approach her. Her gaze snapped back to the door Tommy just walked through but all she saw was James.

“I think it may be time to go home.” James said as Y/N nodded. His hand touched the small of her back, leading her to where the car was parked. Y/N gave one final look to the window where Tommy had just seated himself again. She could’ve sworn he was staring right back at her.

Next chapter

Taglist:

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[nevsdoll]

wounds | neville longbottom

neville longbottom x gen!reader

summary! after some time y/n gets alone time with their boyfriend and attends his wounds | time line: year 7 at hogwarts before the battle

warnings; cursing, bruises and mentions of violence

a/n: i wrote a smut part 2 of this but i don't know if i should post it because to me it's so bad LOLLL but if you guys want it i'll post it😈

gif by @/dation i just cropped it (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

you knew neville had been having a hard time dealing with everything that was going on at the time. with harry, hermione and ron gone, he had to take lead place with the dumbledore's army and protect the students now that snape was headmaster.

that day was particularly bad because he had to take another dose of a torturing spell, which not only hurt him physically but also made him think of his parents.

neville clenched at your touch and whined in pain. "i'm sorry, nev, but i really need to cure your wounds or they'll get worse" you smiled trying to comfort him.

"it's fine, i'll just go see mrs. pomfrey." he said still clenching his teeth together.

"i can do it" you answered while slowly covering his arm with a bandage. "also i want to spend time with you, these days it seems i only see you at d.a meetings"

your boyfriend smiled at your words and gave you a small kiss on the lips. "they really fucked me up this time, didn't they?" he said while looking at the bruises on his face reflected on the mirror.

"i think you look hot, though" to be honest, you didn't think before speaking, but even if you did, you would have said that either way. neville looked at you with confused eyes. "you look tough, like a bad guy"

he laughed "me?".

"yes, you." you laughed too. "neville longbottom, the bad boy... how does it sound?"

"terrible!" he said. "i kind of prefer 'neville longbottom, the witless wonder'" he said looking at his now bandaged arm.

"i don't" you responded. "get closer, i need to attend the bruises on your face now" neville did as you said while you carefully touched his face trying to see all the wounds. "do they hurt a lot?"

"not so much now" the boy smiled as you touched his face, enjoying the feeling of your skin on his that he so much missed. "i'm so lucky to have you" you didn't expect him saying something like that and couldn't help but to blush. you didn't even know how to respond and just laughed shyly. "i mean it" you smiled at him and got closer to him trying to reach for a kiss. neville held your face with his hands, kissing you deeply. completely needy. you knew you missed his lips but at the touch of them you flipped. somehow it felt like the first time you kissed. your cheeks turned red again and your stomach went fluttery. the same way it happened when you kissed him for the first time years ago. "what's wrong?" he asked as he saw your nervous look.

"i don't know... i just missed you so much..." neville smiled and gave you a small kiss on your forehead. you smiled back at him and went back to heal his wounds.

[burst-of-iridescent]

Aang was indeed a bad father. It's way past time we stopped making excuses for him.

An all too common defense for Aang is the fact that he's a monk and is not well-versed in how parenting looks. Yeah! No shit! But do you know who is well-versed? Katara! They talk as if Aang is a single parent like Toph but he is not. Katara's been on Aang's side since the day they met, always stood up for him, always complimented him.

Is this really the thanks she gets? Are they really that disinterested in explaining Katara's side of the story? As if her not getting a statue wasn't insulting enough.

Another major flaw in this defense is that Aang is not just a monk. He's the avatar. This means, part of mastering all elements also means embodying all of the ideologies based on said elements. That includes elements/ideologies completely opposite of his own. His daughter's crack about Aang "cutting and running when things get tough" shows that he's learned absolutely nothing.

We never truly see him master all the elements, he just gets them and, more or less, calls it a day. I'm even beginning to doubt that he's truly mastered his default airbending and he just got his tattoos prematurely because the monks were impressed with his scooter invention.

Zuko got the privilege of understanding the ideologies of other nations, allowing him to grow, and unlearn any toxic masculinity lessons through them, and would blow a gasket if he ever saw a kid get mistreated by a parent in any way. Is it really any wonder why Zuko is the more popular character and the most requested choice for Katara, in comparison to Aang?

using the "but he was a monk!" argument to excuse aang's bad parenting is fucking baffling to me. even leaving aside that aang did have a father figure (or are we collectively ignoring monk gyatso?), i don't think you need to witness fatherhood in action to understand that showing preferential treatment to one of your children is a messed up thing to do. that seems like the kind of thing that should be common sense, especially when you're best friends with the guy who's walking proof of what happens when you play favourites with your kids.

truthfully, i also don't fully agree with katara being able to compensate for aang's supposed lack of knowledge. while i do believe katara was a good mother, and i don't think it was her responsibility to teach her own husband how to be a good parent, i have my doubts about how much, if ever, katara called aang out on his behaviour towards bumi and kya. if their relationship in atla was any indication, i suspect katara very much turned a blind eye (or at most tried to gently suggest that aang pay more attention to bumi and kya) to aang's flaws in this area, as she (unfortunately) does in most others. that's one of the reasons i was never able to get onboard with kat.aang, because katara is the only one of the gaang who is never able to meaningfully challenge aang, even when he desperately needs it. (the only time i recall her trying to push him to do something he doesn't want is in sozin's comet when the fate of the literal world depended upon it. not a good omen, methinks.)

the katara we knew in atla might not have idly sat by while aang favored his airbending child over the others, but the seeds for who she turns out to be in lok are already planted. it's not a stretch to see how katara's blind faith in aang, and her unwillingness to confront his flaws, could have easily led her down the path to the woman who would fail to stop her husband from neglecting two of their children.

it's no surprise that aang in lok is repeating all the same mistakes he did in atla, because his character arc came to a screeching halt at the start of book 3 and was never picked back up again. how are we meant to believe that aang ever became the avatar (yknow, the embodiment of all four nations in one) when he was still, at the very end of the show, prioritizing the values of one nation over the others?

truly the shocker of the century that people might prefer katara to be with a character who had a believable arc with well-written development and a satisfying conclusion, instead of the narrative equivalent of a brick wall.

[tourettesdog]

Concept:

Danny and his friends go missing and Jazz (werewolf, cause vibes) starts exploring the GZ to find him. She's never been there before and only has a journal Danny left behind to go off of as she tries to navigate who is friend and foe. 

Wulf eventually becomes her travel companion.

I also wrote a story blurb to go with this (using speech to text while I worked on the shading lol) Word count: 1532 Warnings: isolation

A frigid wind wrapped around her, stirring the snow and ice. Jazz had never much liked the cold, always preferring relaxing spring days and warm summer nights. Always a bit too cold in their house, where the chill from the lab seemed to creep its way into each corner.

The cold didn't bother her as much now. It hadn't for a long while, not with thick fur to guard against the chill. Still, in the endless field of snow, even her thick pelt did very little to ward off the freezing temperature. 

It stung at her ears, lashed at her snout, and worked its way through the tough pads of her feet until they were numb. The specter speeder lay behind her, the metal hull already being swept beneath the wind-tossed snow.

This was it, Jazz thought. She had finally found her most promising lead, made her way to the far icy reaches of the Far Frozen that Danny's journal mentioned with such reverence, and here she would fall.

Lost in an endless expanse of snow. Buried where none would find her. Forgotten, even by the ghosts.

Lost like Danny was.

Jazz stumbled onward, focusing only on putting one foot before the other. It was all she could do. She could see nothing, save for the white glare of snow, dappled with a green and blue hue that swirled and rippled with the flow of the ectoplasmic sky.

It was beautiful, in its own way. In the strange way that an abstract painting could be beautiful, with its hapless array of colors and shapes. Jazz stared up at it, wondering if it would be the very last thing she ever saw.

Wondering if it was the last thing Danny might have seen.

She still didn't even know if he was in the Ghost Zone. She still didn't know where to start looking for him. Every ghost she had met so far, from the cruel to the kind, had no leads.

No one had seen Danny and his friends, or at least no one was willing to say that they had.

Her legs ached with the effort of sifting through the snow. Great weights dragged at her each step, and it was all Jazz could do to make another. She wanted to rest. She wanted to turn around and go back to the specter speeder, sinking into the seats where she might find at least a trace of warmth.

Jazz turned her head to look for the speeder, but she could no longer see it. She hadn't gone very far, yet the one thing tethering her to the outside world had left,  lost to the swirling white snow.

She took another step.

When jazz was ten-years-old there had been a large blizzard in Amity Park. It happened in late February, just after Valentine's Day, and had buried the town in a sea of snow. Jazz remembered how excited Danny was when it first started to snow. He was gleeful that they had a few days off of school and was prepared to throw himself into the snow with Tucker and Sam for the duration of it.

He hadn't had much time to enjoy that snow.

(Not that Time ever cared how much it gave to Danny.)

The ice on the power lines had left them without power, and without a stove to cook on the already-questionable meals that Maddie prepared became even more so. They huddled up by the fireplace with blankets, staying as warm as they could, but Danny still managed to get sick .

(He was never very lucky.)

Those five days off of school hadn't meant much when Danny spent the majority of them lying in bed, shivering and coughing, and Jazz spent that time worrying over him while their parents worked by candlelight in the lab.

Tears welled at the corners of Jazz's eyes and she couldn't be sure if they were from the sting of the wind or the ache in her chest. 

She took another step.

Jazz wondered what the Far Frozen yetis were like. Danny had described them quite a lot in his journal, much more than many of the other ghosts, and much more kindly at that. He had mentioned a Frostbite, a massive yeti with a frozen arm. He sounded nice, though the name 'Frostbite' felt awfully cruel and ironic to her now.

Maybe they would find her, at least. If she couldn't find Danny, if she was truly doomed to freeze, maybe this Frostbite would find her and be able to give Danny some closure.

(The same closure Jazz so desperately sought now, if nothing else.)

Jazz's chest constricted with a cold that had nothing to do with the frozen tundra around her, just imagining Danny endlessly searching for her.

(Following in her lost footsteps, she supposed.)

Jazz would sooner consign herself to endlessly wander the Far Frozen than she would have Danny fruitlessly search for her.

(And what if her own search was fruitless to begin with? What if she had thrown her life away searching for not even a ghost?)

The horizon blurred together, the crisp white snow melting with the hazy green of the sky until it was all a swirl in her mind. Ectoplasm and ice, every bit a reminder of who she had failed to protect.

Jazz tried to take another step, but her knees buckled.

She hoped that, wherever Danny was, he still had Sam and Tucker beside him. They were always close. Always willing to have each other's backs, no matter what stakes they were facing. 

Jazz wished she could have been a part of that more. Maybe then she would have found Danny sooner. 

They could have been home already, wherever home was now.

The snow piled around Jazz. She no longer had the energy to stand, and hardly had enough to sit up.

Maybe she'd return as a ghost, at least. There was certainly enough ectoplasm to sustain her as one here, and Jazz felt enough aching desire to keep going that she thought it more than possible.

Maybe she'd just rest for a little while. Sink into the snow, which was already blanketing her more and more as she slumped into the drift.

Surely, Danny was never this cold. A cold beyond cold, sinking into a hollow numbness that had Jazz's mind drifting with the wind.

The sky shifted, the sea of green above flickering with streaks of deep blue, an aurora borealis if ever she saw one. 

She remembered how Danny had described it in his journal. He hadn't done it much justice .

The snow shifted, warping, moving. Jazz could hardly keep her eyes open, her thoughts slipping with the drifts of snow.

She wondered what sort of ghost a werewolf would make. Danny had mentioned a wolf ghost in his journal, though Jazz couldn't be sure if he was a werewolf in life or had simply taken that form upon his death. Ghosts could be strange like that.

The roar of the wind was distant, hardly more than a whisper now. Jazz thought she could hear the crunch of snow and the echo of voices lost on the wind.

At least she would get to rest. Maybe not for a long while, but enough time to shut her eyes before she accepted whatever form fate would give her.

Eyes shut, numb to the strange world around her, the snow swallowed Jazz whole.

Warmth. She couldn't remember the last time she felt warm, lost in the zone without a sun to warm her back. Jazz had grown used to the cold, even before the snow of the Far Frozen claimed her. 

And yet she was warm. 

Jazz could remember falling into the snow, accepting her fate… and yet she was warm .

Opening her eyelids was a Herculean task, made no easier by the bright glare that welcomed her bleary sight. Jazz shut her eyes tight again, groaning as she turned her head to the side.

A murmured voice reached her ears, followed by another. Jazz heard a creaking sound and felt the air shift beside her.

She tried once again to open her eyes, this time squinting and finding that the glare had diminished somewhat.

"I'm pleased to see that you are awake at last," a voice said. It was a low rumble, almost more of a growl than a humanoid voice, but the words rang through clearly, as kind and gentle as any voice so deep could be.

Slowly, aching moments that stretched on for ages, the world swam into view. Rich blue hues, underscored by vibrant whites. Fractals of ice, deliberately shaped around dark stone. It looked as though they were in some sort of cave, though it had been altered into a living space with draping furs and woven tapestries.

A hulking form sat beside her. If Jazz ever thought that there was a creature fit to be called a yeti, it was them. He had snowy fur with gray markings, a cloak of deep blue, and icy horns that matched a frozen arm. 

Frostbite. The name suited him; he was every bit the ghost Danny described in his journal. 

[meatonfork]

A Change

————————————————————————————————————————

pairings: platonic 141 x grim; grim x oc

warnings: none

summary: maybe visiting your apartment actually had some benefits aside from the impending loneliness

————————————————————————————————————————

they’d noticed a change.

you had finally decided to go home after a mission. there was no point in you even renting the apartment out if you never even went to it.

it was dusty and cold. the heat was off due to you never stepping foot in the place for months. the bare minimum of furniture accompanied by a lack of items that claimed someone did in fact live there.

setting grocery bags on the counter, you huffed out a sigh. your eyes drifted over the liminal space, feet trudging to the light switch. spoon sat on the counter, gnawing at the plastic bags.

a buzz on the counter called your attention to your phone sat face down on the smooth surface.

opening it, you were met with a message.

you doin good kid?

soap.

yeah! all good, bud. thanks xx

and you left it at that.

you could lie over text; it was easier. they couldn’t see your tells, or the way you tensed a bit before throwing on your best smile.

it was hard. coming back to an empty apartment when your squad, aside from simon, all had someone to go home to. you felt guilty for leaving ghost there alone, but you knew you needed to tend to your own apartment.

you leaned your elbows on the counter, head in your hands. it felt wrong. tears welled in your eyes, the sting being all too familiar. you could feel your cheeks heating up. you missed having someone to go home to. you missed your siblings. sometimes, you even missed your awful parents, because at least they were there.

maybe i should’ve asked price to go home with him instead.

the tears traveled down the apple of your cheeks and down your neck, getting lost beneath the fabric of your shirt.

shaking your head as if to push away the thought, you wiped the tears and you started unpacking the grocery bags. you didn’t buy much, just enough to make due on your leave. you probably wouldn’t be back in a few months anyway, it didn’t really matter. but, when you inevitably did come back, you didn’t want rotting food in your pantry.

putting the plastics bags into a little cubby, a knock sounded at the door. it was soft, but it had purpose behind it.

your back tensed, no one knew where you lived. none of your boys knew, and it was for a reason. you feared they would hover. and that was the last thing you’d needed. sometimes, you needed time alone.

on high alert, you moved towards the door. slow steps lead you to the frame, and you shifted to look through the peephole.

confusion clouded your mind as you saw a girl on the other side. she wasn’t particularly tall, but she was still taller than you. dark hair with curtains bangs hiding a bit of her face, and round glasses sat upon her nose.

with your head cocked to the side, you opened the door a crack.

“uh.. hi? can i help you?” you cleared your throat. she was pretty. dark brown, peach blossom shaped eyes looked back at you.

“yeah! i just moved in a couple months ago, and i’ve never seen you before. do you live here?” she offered a small smile, shifting on both feet.

it clicked. you actually had neighbors. you always assumed you did, but never went out of your way to meet them.

hiding your shock, you answered, “oh! uh, yes. i do. i’ve just been at work. i haven’t really had the time to come back i guess. i kinda just stay there instead of coming back.”

“well, that seems like a tough job. it’s nice to meet my absent neighbor. i’m mei, by the way!” she smiled and stuck her hand out.

grasping her hand in your smaller one, you gave it light but firm shake.

“you too, mei. don’t get used to seeing me around.” you offered a sad smile, eyes during just a tad bit down. “i’ll be gone again soon.”

“oh! uh, okay! i better get back. my cat is probably wondering where i went. see you around, neighbor!”

“yeah. see you around, mei.”

and with that, you shut the door softly.

a soft meow from behind you pulled a small gasp from your mouth.

“spoon! you scared me.” you laughed out.

spoon sat there, staring you down.

“what? i didn’t even do anything. i just told her the truth.” an exasperated sigh left your lips at the realization of talking to you kitten. “whatever, man.”

———

it was two days later, lounging on your couch and finishing off a report you had to drop off in a few days, that another soft yet firm knock at your door sounded through the apartment.

you opened the door quicker this time, assuming it was maintenance or an odd solicitor.

“oh! hey, mei.” you smiled.

“hey! i know this is weird, but i was wondering if i could use your bathroom? they shut the water off to my apartment because a pipe broke in the kitchen.” she was in comfy clothes. sweats, a t-shirt, and a pair of converse.

“oh. um, sure. come on in. sorry, it’s pretty boring. again, i’m never really here.” you side stepped, and let her in.

“it’s okay. i don’t mind. thanks so much!” she shuffled passed you, and you pointed out the bathroom to her. thank god you stocked the bathroom, or that would’ve been awkward.

you followed behind her when she stopped.

“you okay?” your head tilted as your eyes focused on the back of her hair that was thrown up in a bun, similarly to yours.

“what’s this?” she pointed out the report splayed across the coffee table.

“oh, just work stuff.” you chuckled before turning to put it all in the manila folder.

“still working on your time off? man, your job sucks.” she laughed before making her way to the bathroom.

you sighed, looking to spoon who now sat in your seat.

you decided to make some tea while waiting for mei to come out of the bathroom.

a squeal behind you made you jump, twirling to look back.

“what!” your heart was racing. being on edge constantly was not helping you in the slightest.

“your cat is so cute! oh my goodness!” you watched as she reached her hand out to the small void sitting in your couch.

“oh, spoon? yeah, she’s something else haha.” your heart calmed, a hand over it as if it to still it.

“she’s very cute. i like the name too.” she peered over at you while still petting the kitten.

“i found her at work, decided to keep her with me. everyone back there loves her.”

“i can see why. very, very cute.” she smiled up at you from her crouched stance, before standing and making her way to the door. “thanks for letting me use the bathroom, i’ll be out of your hair now.”

“yeah, not a problem. have a good day, mei!”

“you too, neighbor.”

and she was gone.

as the rest of the month dragged on, you found that either of you would invite the other over for a movie night almost every other night.

you didn’t like to be alone in an empty apartment, and mei enjoyed having you around.

in time, you found that you enjoyed having mei around too.

she helped you redecorate your apartment. a nicer couch, a new rug, a cat tree for spoon. even wall art, which you never even thought to buy- because why? but what mei said was set in stone, and you put it up anyway.

telling mei you had to go back to work for a while was bittersweet. you missed your boys, they were your family. but, god, you would miss mei.

she was a breath of fresh air when you desperately needed it. like when you go swimming in the deep end of the pool, but you didn’t take a deep enough breath.

———

they noticed the change. the month you were gone had changed you. it wasn’t very noticeable, unless they knew that they were supposed to be looking for it.

ghost noticed first. but seeing as he was your best friend, it was expected.

gaz and price fell in quickly, noticing the slight pep in your step.

and finally, soap was queued in when you laughed lighter and you smiled more.

it was a nice change.

you had also become more careful during missions.

it’s not that you weren’t alert and on edge before, but now it was heightened. you were constantly checking over your shoulder. even on base. you made sure to get hurt less often.

you would still take a bullet or a stab wound for your boys, no hesitation. but, it was almost as if you had a new push for a will to live. to be okay.

that was, until a particular mission where you almost lost your life.

laswell had put your team on a human trafficking task.

“take them all down.” was all she said. and you were damned if you didn’t.

that was how you found yourself watching your lieutenant in a knife fight, his gun thrown to the ground. you were across the street, lining up for the shot, but ghost’s back was to you. you couldn’t get the target without shooting your best friend first. and you absolutely were not doing that.

you were about to inform your captain of your predicament, moments frantic, when i red dot appearing on ghost’s back paused your movements.

you didn’t even think, mind going a million miles an hour. you just ran.

a gun shot rang out, your body falling to the ground as a cry left your mouth. a blinding white pain burst through your chest.

you groaned as you fell in the dirt, blood pooling around your body.

“oh, fuck.”

“grim! what the fuck, kid. we need medical!” your body was flipped around and a pressure was put on your chest, just below your heart.

opening your eyes, you saw a skull staring back at you.

“hey, kid. keep your eyes open for me, yeah? why the fuck did you do that?” he grunted as he put more pressure on your chest.

you groaned, quickly sucking in breath as he applied more pressure, “couldn’t let you get shot, l.t.”

“i was fine. we need medical, now!”

you couldn’t hear very well, the blood loss making you tired. you wanted to take a nap.

“kid. hey, grim. eyes open. c’mon, kid.” he lightly slapped your face, but you could barely register the dull pats on your cheek.

———

a beeping to your left slowly got louder as you gained consciousness.

your eyes started to softly flutter open, only for them to close upon bright lights blinding you.

soft groans left your lips as your finally opened your eyes, squinting until you adjusted.

“what the fuck was that.”

you startled, looking at the giant sitting to your left.

“what? what was what?” your throat was dry, voice strained. water was thrust into your view and you took it shakily. gulping down the water, you looked back to the lieutenant.

“i was fine, grim. why the fuck did you do that.” he crossed his arms, eyes boring into yours.

“you were going to get shot! on top of that, there was someone right next to you. what the hell was i supposed to do? just let you die? i can’t just sit and let that happen to my best friend.” you glared right back at him, not daring to move your upper body in anticipation of the pain that would follow.

“and now you’re shot.”

“yeah, but i ain’t dead. you would’ve been. i’d do it again, l.t.”

“don’t. don’t do it again. you’re being sent home for a bit to rest. not my decision, by the way. it’s price’s.” he sighed as he lent forward, elbows resting on your bed.

you picked at the fabric of the blanket that sat on your hips.

“i figured. taking a bullet to the chest isn’t prime condition to continue, yeah?” you looked back up to him.

he nodded and leaned back, “yeah, kid. glad you’re alright.” he stood and ruffled your hair.

“me too, simon.”

———

being home wasn’t as fun as you remembered.

the reason?

the guys had found your address. someone had to drive you home. that someone being soap. lovely, soap. he was now your number one enemy.

they were hovering, and you’d yet to see mei.

your lack of quiet time was taking a toll on you.

the four men currently sat in your living room, taking up the floor as you sat on the couch with your feet in simon’s lap, his hands holding onto your shins.

“you guys, i’m fine. i really don’t need you all here.” you rolled your eyes as they all turned to look at you.

“kid, you can barely walk, hmm?” price looked down at you, setting a cup of tea in your hands.

“yeah. and you look like shit, someone needs ta take care of ya.” soap chuckled, looking up at you from the floor. gaz chuckled as soap looked at him.

“no. no, i really don’t. you just wanted to know where i live and pester me. don’t act like the hero here, suds.”

“suds?? you just call me suds? yeah, i ain’t leavin’ for a bit.”

a groan sounded from you as you leaned your head back into the arm of the couch.

you were about to retaliate, when a knock sounded from the door. a soft, yet firm knock. mei.

everyone froze before you sat up, slowly making your way to your feet.

“no, i’ll get it. sit your ass down, and don’t move.” gaz jumped from the floor, pointing you down.

you threw your hands up in surrender and shook your head.

the click of the door opening sounded before gaz spoke out, “hello? can i help you?”

“oh my gosh, hello! um, is q here? they told me they were home, but i can come back at another time…” mei’s voice drifted through the room.

“you’re good! let her in, kyle!” you yelled back.

you heard shuffling before mei stood in front of you.

“hey, q! oh my god, what happened to you? and who are these men?” her eyes drifted over your small figure, wearing only a sports bra, showing off the gauze that had small blotches of blood on your chest.

“i’m okay! these are my coworkers. i won’t be going back to work for a bit.” you laughed a bit.

mei never knew what you did, but she’s already meeting your team. and it was 100% out of your control.

“q? what does ‘q’ mean, grim?” soap tilted his head as he looked to you.

“what the hell does ‘grim’ mean, love?” mei looked to you from next to simon.

you groaned, sitting up a bit. simon helping by reaching over and placing a hand on your arm. you nodded at him in thanks.

“i’m in the military, hun. grim is a callsign. these are the guys in my squad. i, uh, got shot.” you looked to her. she didn’t move, letting it sink in. the guys had gone quiet.

you hadn’t told her? who even is she?

“and ‘q’ is what mei calls me.” you looked over to soap.

“who is mei?” price looked between you and the asian girl standing at the end of your couch.

“mei is my girlfriend.”

it was silent. an awkward smile over took your face, “surprise!”

“mei, this is simon, john, kyle, and johnny. guys, this is mei.” you pointed everyone out. small waves and smiles was exchanged.

“how did you get shot?” mei questioned as she shuffled her feet.

“oh… um, simon was about to get shot. i took the bullet for him.” you looked between the two.

mei and simon looked at each other before she smacked him upside the head.

“oh my god! mei, what the fuck?” your eyes widened as you leaned forward.

“you’re supposed to be watching them! you’re their team!” she raised her voice at your lieutenant.

everyone’s widened, watching the exchange. until gaz burst out with laughter.

simon cleared his throat, “mm yeah. i am. cant really do that when they push me out the way of a bullet, though. can i?” his stare moved to you.

a blush rose on your cheeks, “that was definitely, 100% my fault, mei. i already got my ass chewed for it, too. don’t worry. i’m fine. and i’ll continue to be fine.”

“you better. move over, hulk.” mei stepped over simon’s legs, making to sit between you two. her arm wound around your back, pulling you to her side.

“oh my god, i love her already.” soap howled with laughter as simon sat still. stunned from mei’s shove.

“me too.”

———

it took a few days, but everyone left. and you only had mei looking over you. you two hadn’t talked too much about your profession and injuries since the team were looming around.

“hey, q? can we talk about this?” you paused the movie as she pointed to the gauze wrapped around your chest. her eyes were watering, and her hands held a slight shake.

“hmm? hun, im okay, really!” you held your hands out for her. she moved forward, head resting on your stomach.

“i’m okay, i promise.” you ran your hands through her long brown hair. she squeezed your stomach as she sniffled, spoon sitting on the back of her legs.

tears welled in your own eyes. a sniffle left your nose and mei looked up.

“babe, why are you crying?”

“i’m sorry.” you whispered back.

“don’t be, hun. it’s okay. like you said, you’re okay. hmm?” she settled back in your lap, fingers running up and down your thighs.

maybe coming home really wasn’t that bad. you finally had someone to come home to. you could leave the heat on, and mei would watch spoon for you- if you didn’t take her back to base. you could grocery shop for more than one person now.

and she may not be your blood family, who missed so much, but she was found family. just like your boys, who loved you unconditionally. no longer having to feel guilty for moving on, and doing it on your own.

the place you called home finally had a purpose, and warmed your heart.

————————————————————————————————————————

a/n: i did it! it’s done :) i really hope you enjoyed it!!

[lovingperfectionsblog]

Flinch

Max Verstappen x Reader

Requested: Yes

Heyyyyyyy, loved the new max fic! I was hoping you could do a max X (famous) Reader where the reader went through physical and verbal abuse from her parents as a child. Now they've been dating for a while and Max knows she isn't super close to her parents but doesn't know why. And like something max says/does in an argument just triggers her accidentally and she just huffs out of the apartment (not a breakup, just a let's do this later) and max is super pissed cause he doesn't know what he did. Then reader comes back very late at night and Max is sleeping in their room but wakes up when he hears the door open and he goes to check on her and she's just sitting on the floor with her head between her knees and her back to the couch and her shoulders are shaking so max thinks she's crying but she isn't making a sound, and this is where he feels like something is truly wrong (cause he's never seen the reader cry before). Then he walks towards her, and even though he's super silent, she hears his footsteps and she just immediately stops crying and puts on a tough face which makes max suspect her childhood was worse then he thought.  He goes and sits and asks her what's wrong and she finally tells him the truth and he comforts her and tells her that he'd never do anything to hurt her.

Summary: Max discovers the abuse his girlfriend had been subjected to as a child after he messes up.

Warnings: Abuse, talking about historic abuse, language.

Word Count: 2448

Authors Note: So this request has been sitting in my inbox for far too long now and honestly I really did want to write this one but truthfully this was a difficult one to write, albeit cathartic because a lot of this is based on my own experiences and the realization of that flinch when you experience when you are in an environment that you are actually safe in is a gut wrenching feeling. So if you like this I am glad, if you don’t, that’s okay, it was helpful to me. If you ever face any abuse or you aren’t even sure you are facing abuse, please reach out. You are not alone (as cliché that may seem), but you are not alone and there are ways to get help and there are ways to make sure you are safe, both mentally and physically, and speaking from experience, all it takes sometimes is doing the thing that everyone tells you is wrong but truly is the best thing for you. Please please be safe and always speak out against abuse and always make sure you are safe, physically, emotionally and mentally. You are loved and cherished and most importantly you are seen.

Also to note, I based a lot of this on the guilt and fear around what you experience and the tactics learnt to survive environments. I hope it is okay and I hope everyone likes it and has a wonderful, safe day <3

_____

“Max, I said I am done talking about this” your voice was low and cold, no longer willing to entertain the argument that Max had started through one of his bad moods.

“And I am not” Truthfully neither of you even knew what this argument was even about at this point, but it was in full swing with Max only gearing up.

Max wishes he could stop, Lord knows he wishes he could stop but once he was in one of these moods it was like his entire brain shut down and all he felt was anger, not thought it, felt it.

He hated that this was your first fight, over something that he couldn’t even remember but the first fight had to happen didn’t it and Max was not about to lose it.

“Max, either you talk calmly so we can discuss the actual issue, or we drop this until you have calmed down” you weren’t willing to just encourage a screaming match because at this point it seemed like you were going around in circles and Max was too angry to listen to any reason.

“The fucking issue is you never fucking support me, or is that something you’re incapable of doing, just tagging a long with the little rich boy for the ride of it all?” the words felt like dirt in his mouth. He knew that realistically you were in the only person in this god forsaken world of his that actually truly did give a shit about him truly, that you actually really did love him, but he was angry, and he wanted to hurt someone, he wanted to hurt you.

“Max, I’m sorry baby, I’ll try harder next time, I didn’t mean to not support you, I’ll do better from now on” you knew you weren’t wrong, but this was the next best option and the sudden fear from Max’s continuous screeching was overwhelming you and backing you into a corner. You were now doing what you had to in order to survive. What they had taught you to survive.

Placate. Agree. Retreat.

Just say okay, just say sorry, hide.

“NO! NO! NO FUCKING SORRY’S NOW Y/N!” Max threw his hands up in the air in frustration, hitting the wall next to him.

And you flinched.

Silence filled the entire room. The entire argument completely over in a second from Max’s actions.

You flinched.

Retreat.

“I have to go” the room suddenly suffocating you.

Max suddenly terrifying you. Too man memories resurfacing from your childhood and if you didn’t get out of there now then Max would find out about it all and that was a conversation you weren’t entire ready to open up about.

Truthfully, if you never had to open up about it then you never would. People don’t exactly understand the type of childhood you had and eventually you get tired of explaining it for them to just turn around and still question why you refuse to let your parents into your life.

And no one had ever seen you flinch.

No one had made you feel vulnerable enough to flinch and you were angry that he had. You were angry that he had made you feel safe and broken down those walls only to do this to you.

In his defence, he didn’t know, and he didn’t need to.

Just. Get. Out.

Max could do nothing other than watch you leave. He didn’t try stop you. He didn’t try and make you stay. He just watched. Entire body frozen, hand still supporting him against the wall.

Every ounce of anger in his body was suddenly replaced with a mixture of shame and confusion.

Did he just make the woman he loves flinch in an argument?

The guilt suddenly consuming him entirely. He had hit the wall and made the woman he planned on one day marrying fucking flinch.

He needed to change. He was never going to do this again. This anger he was done with. This uncontrollable rage needed to go. He needed to do whatever he could to make sure you felt safe. He was never willing to see that fear in your eyes again. A fear he fucking caused.

What the fuck was wrong with him? Maybe he was the monster people thought he was.

Maybe he was his dad after all.

No. No. He was never going to be his father. Never. He was going to be better, and Max did not care what parts of himself he needed to kill off in order to make sure you felt safe around him. To make sure you never had to worry again in his presence. Even if he had to kill off any of the anger that spurred on his driving, it would be worth it.

He was not his father and he needed to be better for you.

Once Max had recovered from the shock of what he had done he was pulling out his phone and making arrangements. First, therapy for his anger issues and realistically, all the childhood ones he faced. Secondly couples’ therapy. When he said he was willing to do anything, he meant absolutely everything. Lastly, he was booking a week away for the both of you. Anything to try and get you to forgive him. Anything to make up for what he had done to you.

_____

Max felt sick as he lay in bed waiting for you to come home, if you were even going to come home.

If you were ever going to come home.

He had been unable to sleep at all and had done nothing but lay in bed checking the time for what felt like hours. In truth it was hours. You had been gone for hours and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know where you were. He didn’t know if you were safe. You hadn’t taken your phone, just your wallet and house keys. Just those two. Maybe he should get up and check again if you’d taken anything else. Any indication of where you were or might have gone or when you’re coming back and yes, he should probably go and check again.

What was the time? 1:23am.

He needed to know where you had gone. You were smart. You wouldn’t put yourself in danger, would you? You looked so fucking scared of him. Max couldn’t dwell on the look in your eyes for too long or he was sure he was going to get sick, but he couldn’t stop his brain replaying the flinch. Again and again and again and again and noise and flinch and noise and flinch and noise and flinch and now you were gone, and he had no idea where you were and this was all his fault.

He distracted himself by reciting his apology over and over again. In his head and then our loud. Practicing his movements as he lay there, making sure to never raise his hands to high or too quickly. Admonishing himself when he by mistake did.

God, what was the argument even about. He’d lose every single argument from this moment onwards if it meant you never looked at him with fear again and –

That was the front door. Fuck, that was the front door. Relief mixed with shame was an emotion Max had yet to ever experience but my god he was glad he was experiencing the relief part of it right now.

Max was up instantly, making his way towards the lounge where he assumed you were, seeing as he had yet to hear you move any deeper into the house towards him. He got to the door of your bedroom and paused, simultaneously terrified of scaring you further and terrified of what he might find.

Eventually he made he was through the dark house, slowly as to not frighten you, expecting to find you getting ready to make your way to bed but instead he found you, small and enclosed on yourself on the floor in the dark living room.

You sat with your back leaning against the couch, head against your knees as you hugged your legs closer to you, shoulders shuddering every few seconds and Max was confused, but the longer he stood there watching, the more it dawned on him, you were crying.

The sight was so odd to him because as Max wracked his brain for what was happening in front of him, he realised that this was the first time he had ever witnessed you cry and in that moment his heart shattered.

Max took a step closer, hesitant but protective nevertheless, intent on only comforting you now. He must have stepped to hard because in an instant you had shot your head up and were wiping away the tears before turning to look at him. In the moonlight Max could already see a small smile plastered to your face.

“I’m sorry for waking you baby, go back to bed, I promise I’ll be there soon” you immediately began remedying the situation, nervous that any hint at emotion would make him angry.

‘Remember, remove any emotion, then he won’t punish you’ A trick they had taught you to survive.

“You were crying” it’s all Max could say. God was he that socially inept that he couldn’t think of more to say when he just witnessed his girlfriend crying for the first time, ever.

Like, this was weird right? He wasn’t being absurd, how had he never seen you cry before?

“No, no, baby, I’m fine, I promise” you tried your best to reassure him, not wanting to draw any more attention to yourself than you already had.

“I’ve never seen you cry before” why had he never seen you cry before?

“I don’t cry my love” your voice was sickly sweet. You wanted this conversation to be over with. You wanted him to go back to bed.

“That’s not- that’s not healthy” Max made his way over to you, sitting in front of you, placing his hands on your knees, realizing how puffy your eyes, how long, how deeply you had been crying. This wasn’t some fight, this was more, “why?”

“Why what?” there was trepidation in your voice.

“Why don’t you cry?” Max had never tried to be so gentle before in his entire life, but he wanted you to know this was safe, he was safe, you were safe.

You were at a loss for words. Why don’t you cry? You couldn’t exactly tell Max the real reason, but how he sat there, looking at you, begging you to be honest, maybe for the first time ever about this all, maybe you could tell him.

“My dad” you opted to tell the truth, no matter how painful this may be, but if anyone understood, it might be Max, or it might not be and he could leave, but it doesn’t matter anymore, you already started.

“Your dad?” you’d literally avoided any and all conversation about your dad since Max had known you.

“I didn’t exactly have the greatest childhood” you let out a dry chuckled and it made Max’s throat grow dry, he opted to not interrupt, hoping that if he didn’t you’d continue talking, carry on opening up to him about parts of you he had never knew even existed up until now, gently rubbing your knee, letting you know he was here, but you had space.

“I just, he was so” fuck, were you really about to do this. You could already feel your throat closing up, why did you have to be a throat crier?

“God, he was so abusive and I just, I couldn’t do it anymore and as soon as I could I just got them out my life. He always just, I was never good enough, I was always the problem, he just and then he would shout, and I was always so scared. Every time he got home I’d run upstairs to just stay out of his way, everything was always my fault. He was always shouting, and I was just always scared, and my mom always taught me, ‘don’t you dare show emotion, just say you’re right and I’m sorry, and then stay out of his way, it will only make him more mad if you don’t’ and then one day he just, it hurt so much and I just, and then you shouted and raised your hand and hit the wall, and it was just like” a sobbed wracked through your body and suddenly you couldn’t breathe. Gasping through the sobs, tears streaming down your face.

Next minute you felt Max grabbing you and pulling you close to him, instinctively wrapping your arms around him as you buried your face into his neck, sobbing all the while, gripping onto him for dear life and he didn’t reject you, he didn’t scold you, he didn’t blame you, instead he cradled you, held you close, kept you safe and he told you how much he cared, how he was there, how much he loved you.

And most importantly he told how sorry he was. For everything. For your childhood. How he wasn’t able to protect you from your dad then and how he had made you think he would ever do anything remotely similar to the abuse you had experienced before. Especially for how he had made you think that.

After what felt like hours just sitting there and crying and talking and crying some more and him telling you how sorry he is, how he is going to change for you, how safe you were now and about every single therapy session he was going to and you two were going to go to in order to fix this, Max eventually picked you up and carried you to bed.

After getting you changed and tucking you into bed, pulling you close to him and letting you drift off to sleep, he suddenly couldn’t.

His mind was a mixture of relief that you had finally opened up to him and trusted him enough, relief that you felt safe enough to finally cry and anger at what you had experienced, at the abuse you had suffered and most importantly what he had done to you. How he had never seen it, how he had just subjected you to it all over again.

Even as you slept he kept whispering to you, how sorry he was, for everything and how much he loved you and God he promised he was going to change if it was the last thing he did.

Because at the end of it all, he still made you flinch.

[onlyhere-onlynow]

Hi, sweet El. I think you could give a very good answer to my "worries". (Forgive me in advance for my ignorance in mentioning life as if it were serious) I used to think about assumptions, now there is nothing to be done about non-dualism at all. I as a body was attached to my significant others and an ex who is now with another girl. My concern in this world is people and honestly they are all hurting me, it makes me very sad to see this "physical" reality. I also in my head(reality too?) see the love of these people...I also think about my self worth and self love, very sad a little bit. (I had toxic parents who I wanted to replace with new and better ones by visualizing them in my head. I mean delulu, delusional. I had classmates at school who bullied me, a best friend who looked at my status and turned out to hate me. A boyfriend who cheated with another girl.) I'm starting to hate people...

Wow, okay… Slow down. Some tough love is needed here, and to whoever needs it (most of you all, probably).

Can you notice how thinking that you’re a separate individual from it all brings suffering? “This world is hurting me”, “People are hurting me”, “This past is hurting me”! … Really? I mean, that coming from the absolute authority, I don’t know if I should be impressed by your acting skills or feel second hand embarrassment…

I can’t even express how wonderful you are in words, your truth! Boundless, limitless, the “IT” of it all… And you have this attitude? Playing the victim? Wow… Aren’t you tired? Because, believe me, I know the victim complex can be sooo comfortable. I’ve been there, but it’s actually so silly once you notice it all! Like when I was little I pretended to pour ketchup all over my body and play dead. Man, cut it out…

Seriously, you decide to pretend to be this tiny person in such a “big, cruel world”? Because that’s not who you really are… Tell me, is it fun? Maybe it is, it seems like it…, but guess what? You’ll grow bored of it just like most of us did. Can you have some trust in yourself and see who you actually are, how things actually are?

C’MON, CRY IF YOU WANT TO CRY, BUT PICK YOURSELF UP AFTER. YOU NO VICTIM, NO PERSON, NO NOTHING!

have a good day <3 :3

[puckleberryfinnie]

covey!reader in the quarter quell (introduction)

ok so because of the amount of likes I got on the post where I shared my idea for a fanfic (thank you so much to each and every one of you), I decided to write my first ever fanfic based on it!! this is just a little introduction to your character and the story that goes with it- I promise I have more in store if you guys want it, like reader meeting everyone. I’m sorry that this isn’t very good, I’ll hopefully improve with more practice <3

summary: an introduction to covey!reader’s story and your time in the 73rd Hunger Games and her reaping into the Quarter Quell

(based on my idea from this post: click me!)

warnings: fem!reader, killing, drowning, basically just me yapping for a bunch of paragraphs!! also this is pretty short lol

Nothing could’ve prepared you for getting your name called as the female tribute of District 11.

You only had minor guidance through the stories that had been told in your district. Passed from parent to kid, and so on, what the capital had tried so hard to erase was still present among the people of the lower districts. The Covey knew more than anyone. Your grandparent had been part of the group when Lucy Gray disappeared, you knew that much. They travelled, escaping the wrath and second-hand anger of Snow after he came into power.

They landed in District 11, growing small farms with even smaller houses. The Covey wasn't what it used to be, more quiet, adapting to a life of agriculture, still humming their ways through their work. You’d do anything for them, though. They were your family. So when your name was called, you knew you’d do what you could to survive for them. They needed you- and you needed them.

The whole experience was a blur. Getting paraded around was one thing. And you were used to the attention, being a performer and all. You sang. You sang every chance you could get- that was your leading attribute and you were going to spend your last days alive doing what you loved most. Caesar just ate it up, too. Your interview infront of the capital was no interview, but a last concert from you to the crowd, a sending-off to your death.

But this wasn’t your last performance. Your voice had more songs to sing, more stories to unfold. You miraculously made it out alive- thankfully without a single kill under your belt from the experience. You hid, others killed. And when it was down to the final two, you survived the final event: a storm in the arena strong enough to wash away any sign of living within it. The other tribute (a boy from district two) was not so lucky, drowning in a moment of panic.

The non-killer image made you very popular in the capital after you stepped out of the arena. Your victory tour was filled with victory songs at each stop, spreading a message of positivity for the districts. Everyone seemed to be appeased by your performance- even Snow.

You didn’t watch the games the next year. Any mention of the games left an uncomfortable taste in your mouth and feeling you couldn’t seem to shake. This feeling only grew with the announcement of the Quarter Quell. You’d only just left the games, and now you would be led back into them?

Even with the other female winners in your district, you still felt uneasy about it. Not a single one of you should have to go through this again. You said your second goodbyes, this time with less hope of return. Everyone in the Covey cried (even the older boys who tried so hard to act tough).

The walk to the selection stage was silent- no one dared to say a word.

A piece of paper was plucked from the container

“And the female tribute from District 11 for the 75th Hunger Games is…”

It was slowly unfolded

“Y/N L/N.”

uh oh!! that’s not good!! I wonder what happens next!! seriously though thank you so much for reading through all of this, I know it’s kind of just me yapping the whole time- feel free to let me know what you think in the comments! if anyone wants a part two, let me know (I’ll also create a tag list if people want it <33)

Im planning on doing everything leading up to everyone actually entering the arena for the next part (like the training, the ability tests, the interviews), so let me know what you guys want to see!!

I’m also not really sure if I want to have the reader shipped with- I’m leading towards johanna but I’m open to suggestions <33

love ya!!

[jazminrhode1]

Hey Hi girlie, I love your writing so much!!! I was wondering if you could write one where Matt or Chris reconnect with an old friend that they have always had feelings for (and everyone could see it) and she's always been with other people but, finally sees what's always been right in front of her? Super sngsty and maybe kinda leaving us hanging because I'm always down for part 2!!! Thank you hun <3

Looking At The Moon Matt Sturniolo x Reader One Shot

Summary: You realize that it's been Matt all along.

Word Count: 971 words

“Did you ever think you’d end up with Vinny?” Matt asked. The question caught you off guard. 

You had spent the day back home in Boston celebrating Nate’s birthday. It was the first time that you had all been back together properly since the triplets moved to LA. It wasn’t quite the same as it was before they left but, you were glad to seem them all again.

As you lay on the floor of Nate’s lounge room, your friends were packed in beside you like sardines. It was 3am and you and Matt were the last two people awake. It felt like the old days.

“Sorry,” he said when you hadn’t answered after a while. 

“I always thought I’d meet my soulmate in school and we’d fall madly in love and that’d be it. Just like my parents. You know, high school sweethearts and all that. Even though we dated for 4 years, I’m not sure that I ever really thought that it’d be Vinny” you explained.

Matt nodded his head slowly. Did you ever think it could be me?

“What about you?” you asked, “Do you think you’ve met your soulmate?”

Matt stared at the ceiling, “I hope so,” he replied, “I don’t know, I always hoped that one day I’d look at an old friend and think, ‘It’s been you all long’.”

You were intrigued as you propped yourself up on one elbow, turning yourself to face him. Chris had fallen asleep between you both and you squinted your eyes in the dark to make sure he was still asleep.

“Do you think you met her in LA?” you asked. You wanted to catch up on the gossip that you’d missed out on since they left.

“No,” he replied quicker than a horse out the gate. It’s you. It’s always been you.

You racked your brain trying to think of one girl that Matt had ever shown any interest in. His date to the middle school dance? One of the friends y’all lost touch with? Was there someone at Star Market you didn’t know? It was probably one of Justin’s friends - this kid’s delusional.

As Chris stirred in his sleep between you both, you sucked in a sharp breath in an attempt not to wake him. After some time had passed, Matt got up and gestured for you to follow.

You crept up the stairs behind him to Nate’s bedroom and climbed through the window onto the roof. It had been years since you had come up here - you could see the whole neighbourhood from this spot. Matt wrapped a blanket around your shoulders as you sat on the freezing cold tiles. You had missed doing shit like this with him. You had missed him.

You remembered sitting at the window with him at daycare as he waited for him Mom every afternoon. When your Dad took the training wheels off your bike a little too early, he was the one who kissed the scrape on your knee to make it better.

When you had free time in the first grade, he would let you share his pencils or read books with you on the beanbag in Mr Wilson’s reading corner. Every day at lunch he’d trade half his sandwich with you even if you both had peanut butter and jelly.

He was always there. He always listened, he celebrated your achievements and supported you through the tough times. If there was one thing you knew for certain it was that as long as Matt was around you’d never be alone.

“Isn’t it crazy how much has changed in the last two years?” you asked as you looked out to the dimly lit street.

“I don’t think all that much has changed. Not anything that matters anyway,” he replied.

Matt had a habit of talking in riddles sometimes. You never really quite knew what was going on in his head.

“Fair enough,” you replied. “Do you ever wish that you didn’t leave Boston?” you asked.

He took a moment. You could see the thoughts racing in his head as he fidgeted with the cuff of his sleeve. “I think that the people make the place,” he replied. 

“Do you wish you never left you family?” you asked.

“Yeah… And, Nate…” he answered. And you. I wish I never had to leave you.

You took in a deep breath and laid your head on his shoulder. “I always thought growing up would be so much fun,” you said.

“It’s not fun?” he asked. “It’s not easy,” you replied as you both sat in silence, looking up at the moon.

After a while you looked at him and said, “promise you’ll remember me when you’re looking up at the moon in LA.”

I’m gonna wish that you were there with me. “I promise,” he said as he wrapped an arm around you. “Promise me you’ll send me pictures of whatever reminds you of me,” he asked and you pinky swore that you would.

When he went back to LA, he sent you snapchats every night of the moon from their balcony. You sent him pictures from the scrapbooks your Mom had made for you when you were younger. 

There was a photo of the two of you from the first day of high school and beside it your Mom had written, “I hope one day you see what has always been right in front of you.”

You went back and forth for weeks on end not knowing if you should send it to Matt or not but, you inevitably decided against it. Instead, you took a pen to the page next to your Mom’s note and wrote, “Perhaps I’m realising a little too late that it was you all along.”

—————

Tag list: @slaysturniolo

[missing-n-human]

Hi there! Was wondering if we could get headcanons of the bishops being parents? (Or finding out they're gonna be parents? You can choose ^^

Bishop Parent Headcanons

𑁍 Featuring 𑁍

♡ Platonic & Romantic ♡ ✦ I decided to do both since I got heavily inspired for some reason seeing this request ✦ For finding out ‘you’ is their partner so Romantic ✦ For being parents ‘you’ is their child so Platonic ✦ Also set around post-game ⋆ Sorry if it seems low effort or anything I was about to go to sleep when I saw your request and suddenly felt like I had to do it ⋆ Also side note, no Narinder included just the main four bishops

|⌨|Finding Out|⌨|

✎ Leshy, Bishop of Chaos

✿ He was surprised at first, thinking he misheard you

✿ It took a few tries before he finally believed you weren’t messing with him

✿ He would check in on you more than he used to in case you needed him

✿ Would spend the nights cuddling with you though and listening for the baby’s heartbeat

✿ Ends up becoming more affectionate, nuzzling into you, and overall more touchy

✿ Quick to show up if you even slightly sound like you’re in pain or call for him

✎ Heket, Bishop of Famine

𖥧 Accepted it pretty quickly, not questioning you much

𖥧 Makes sure you are well fed and sometimes even cooks for you herself

𖥧 Did become overprotective quite a bit, excusing her actions as wanting to keep the baby safe… many followers were lost for being too close to her comfort

𖥧 Helps with any cravings you end up having no matter how strange they might end up being

𖥧 Do expect a lot of surprise visits from her when she isn’t busy

𖥧 When both of you are in bed she will end up touching your stomach a lot and talking about the baby’s future

✎ Kallamar, Bishop of Pestilence

⚠ Had a near heart attack when you told him the news and did faint somehow

⚠ Worried for you 24/7 now and does not let you out of his sight

⚠ Constantly asking if you are okay and if you need anything

⚠ Tries to help keep you as healthy and pain-free as possible

⚠ Refuses to let any followers get close to you just in case

⚠ Lots of cuddling at night and he ends up telling you about how he worries about what happens when the kid is born

✎ Shamura, Bishop of War

𖦹 You had to tell them a few times before they could actively remember it

𖦹 Helps you research how the pregnancy will be and all the effects so you aren’t in the dark

𖦹 Has everything planned out to help you through it, cravings, pain, even had the labor planned out

𖦹 Tries to remember to check in on you so you don’t hurt yourself by overworking

𖦹 Leaves you under the care of Allocer (the witness of their area) when they are busy

𖦹 Informs you about the prophecy they had about the pregnancy and the child.

|⌨|Parenthood|⌨|

✎ Leshy, Bishop of Chaos

✿ Encourages any form of chaos caused by you as long as it does not hurt you. Want to light stuff on fire go ahead just don’t get burned

✿ Gives you flower crowns and likes teaching you about plants

✿ Is very affectionate with you and praises you a lot

✿ Calls you his little camellia & wormlet (word for baby worms I guess)

✿ Tries his best to be a good parent and keeps you away from his followers

✿ Gave you a mini version of his robes as a birthday gift once

✎ Heket, Bishop of Famine

𖥧 Her way of raising you isn’t the most positive

𖥧 Teaches you basic life skills like cooking and how to start a fire

𖥧 Keeps you away from everyone besides a selected few until you are older

𖥧 Criticizes everything you do and is very nitpicky about it while still speaking few words

𖥧 Thinks being tough on you is the best way to make sure you aren’t a pushover

𖥧 Calls you tadpole and pumpkin

✎ Kallamar, Bishop of Pestilence

⚠ Overprotective & overbearing

⚠ No interactions with others unless he’s there

⚠ Tries to keep you locked away from the world since he doesn’t want you to be hurt

⚠ Very loving and affectionate as long as you follow his rules

⚠ Calls you his crystal and little minnow

⚠ Thinks what he’s doing is best for you

✎ Shamura, Bishop of War

𖦹 They sometimes forget you exist but make it up to you once they remember

𖦹 Makes sure you are well educated about the world and how they run their cult

𖦹 Doesn’t hide much from you, letting you interact with anyone you want as long as you are careful

𖦹 Did consider revoking leaving the temple without an escort after you had a run-in with a certain fluffy purple spider

𖦹 Does give you some affection here and there with sparse praise when you prove you have been following your studies

𖦹 Introduced you to their siblings when you were ‘old’ enough and often gets you books about war tactics for your birthday

𖦹 Calls you spiderling and little poppy (I swear it’s not that random)

_____________ Before you make any requests, please review/check my rules on requesting stuff. I will prioritize requests that include the stuff I requested when asking for something. Requesting Rules