#I’ll do damn near anything to keep a friend even if they’re not good for me and you’re clearly no exception to that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

throneofsapphics · 10 months

Note

i LOVE your angsty poly!rowaelin x reader fics

can i request more? i will gobble up anything you write not even kidding 💕

some questions are better left alone

Rowaelin x f!Reader

(part two) (part three)

Summary: He shoved a plate of sweets at me. “For both of our sakes,” he said carefully, “I’m going to pretend those words never came out of your mouth. Do you understand?”

Warnings: Angst, drinking, nightmares, small injury, rowan is mean

Word Count: ~5k

A/N: You are so sweet! I swear, angst is my love language. Reader is from a foreign court/country, has magic, and is able to mindspeak - I kept it a bit vague!

I scribbled the note, leaving it on my desk in my room. Going out. Not very descriptive, but I was in a rush, I’d forgotten what night it was, and I’d promised a friend I’d meet them - some bard was coming through.

My mates weren’t opposed to me having friends. They knew I did, I just kept them separated, tried to keep a life separate from the castle.

Maybe I should’ve left a better note, because a certain Wolf showed up halfway through. I caught a whiff of his scent - fresh too, and I knew he was in the damn tavern. But - I didn’t know if he’d come alone or come after me.

“I’ll be right back.” I leaned in, whispering to my friend, and keeping my voice low. I slid through the crowd with ease. I spotted him in a shadowy corner, leaning up against the wall. I dropped the glamor after I got within a few feet of him. His eyes glinted, a smirk crossing his face. He had come here after me, and waited for me to track him down. I let out a long breath, but stood next to him. His eyes were constantly scanning the crowd.

“Why are you here?” I kept my voice low enough that only he could hear me.

“Enjoying the songs, of course.” His voice was honeyed with false innocence, and I could tell he was messing with me.

“You missed the one about you.”

“Shame. Which one?”

I groaned. “I’m not playing into your ego.”

“Pity, maybe I should’ve let them see your note.”

“What’s wrong with my note?” My voice went taut. “And why were you in my rooms?”

“Two words.” He tutted.

“I was in a rush.” I hissed, then he handed me the paper. He took it. “You bastard.” I snarled.

“Calm your tits.” He laughed, “I left a better one - ‘taking Y/N out to have fun for once.’”

“Thank you.” I said, begrudgingly. He did save me some grief. A lot of grief now that I think about it.

“I am a bit hurt you left without me. Now, are you going to introduce me to your friends?” A shark-like grin appeared on his face.

“Are you going to play nice?” I countered, crossing my arms.

“Me? I’m always nice.” He scoffed. “Besides, I’m your best friend in this world. I have a right to know your other ones.” I rolled my eyes, even though the statement warmed my heart - just a bit.

“Alright. Best friend.” I teased, “Are you going to scare them off?”

“Do your mates know about them?”

“Yes.” I sighed.

“And who your mates are?”

“Indeed.” I fought back my annoyance.

“They’re not scared?” He raised his eyebrows. Any sane person would be intimidated by the Queen and King of Terrasen.

“I won’t let their majesties anywhere near them.” He chuckled, but I could tell he understood. I wasn’t ashamed of my friends, not by any means, but if either of my mates somehow thought they were a threat … it would make things very difficult. I pushed off the wall, and led him back through the crowd. I reached our booth, about halfway down the wall and with a good view of the stage, and dropped it. Instead of two benches, it was rounded, one long bench around a circular table. Cian, Isla, Effie, and Arran. To their credit, they only gaped for a few seconds, before shuffling around to make room for both of us. I scooched in, and let Fenrys sit next to me.

I gestured towards each of them, “Effie, Arran, Isla, Cian,” And then towards Fenrys. I was halfway tempted to introduce him as ‘pain in my ass,’ or ‘bastard’, but I went for something that would piss him off more. “Lord Moonbeam.” I bit my lip as he stomped on my foot.

“Please don’t call me that. It’s Fenrys.”

“Pleased to meet you.” Isla squeaked, her face bright red. The others echoed the sentiment, but thankfully not looking at him like he’s a God. I saw the way he was eyeing her,

Are you really going to bed my friends? I said in his mind, a bit louder than necessary.

Why would you deny them a good time?

I swear to the Gods Fenrys.

Calm your tits.

That’s twice you’ve mentioned my tits. Should Aelin be worried?

Don’t you dare. He growled, but didn’t use that phrase again.

It shouldn’t have been surprising that he got along well with them. He charmed them easily - none of the bitter bastard I’m used to. He and Isla, to my chagrin, got along very well. I didn’t move to interrupt or interfere, even though I wanted to keep them as far away from each other as possible. They could be cute together, but I had a feeling Fenrys was toying with her - flirting for fun. Maybe she was doing the same. I didn’t know her that well, after all, only meeting her a few weeks ago.

A few hours later, and after several drinking contests, I was feeling very tipsy. Maybe even drunk. Definitely drunk based on how the room spun. But, with a glamor firmly in place, I’d managed to drink a group of soldiers under the table. Where are they from? I have no idea. But every time one started to eye me in a more-than-friendly way, they seemed to pale, and look away very quickly. It took me a few times to figure out Fenrys was glaring daggers at them. I stomped on his foot.

“Leave them alone.” I whispered. He gave me an incredulous look. “They don’t deserve you looking like you’ll murder them.”

“You’re not doing anything.” He countered.

“I am ignoring them.” I emphasized. “And that works well enough.”

Effie returned, sliding a goblet across the table towards me. Fenrys snatched it before I could, and took a sip. He nearly spit it out, his face turning red, and shoved it back at me. “What is that?” He coughed.

“Apparently something too strong for your delicate sensibilities.” I took a large sip, enjoying the warmth it provided as the liquid burned, sliding down my throat.

He gaped at me - but I kept drinking it anyway.

“It’s a homemade liquor.” Effie replied instead. He grimaced, staring at my glass like it might jump out and attack him. “It grows on you.” She added, biting back a laugh at his expression.

I finished it, and stood to bring it back up to the bar, but swayed slightly on my feet. Before I could grip the table, Fenrys’s arm shot out to steady me.

“We’re going home.” He stood.

“You don’t get to make my decisions.”

Effie grabbed the glass from my hands. “It’s almost closing anyways.”

“Traitor.” I mumbled. The others had left ten minutes ago.

Effie lived above the bar - how we met in the first place. “Go home.” She ordered instead, giving Fenrys a look. One that said - get her home safe, like I needed a minder.

He only laughed and looped an arm through mine, half-dragging me out the door.

“You’re not nearly as drunk as me.” I complained, disentangling my arm once we’d left the building. I watched my feet carefully on the cobblestones.

“I didn’t beat half of the Bane in a drinking contest.”

“So that’s who they were.” I mumbled, and apparently wasn’t paying attention, because I walked right into a column.

“Fuck.” I muttered, stumbling backwards and pressing a hand against my face. My cheekbone will be bruised. Fenrys grabbed me under my arms before I could fall, and howled.

“Asshole.” I muttered, shaking off his grip. He looped his arm through mine, and didn’t let me wiggle out this time. Thankfully, we were almost to the gates and Fenrys quit singing. I tugged my hood up as we got closer to the castle. Nobody needs to know just how drunk I am.

“They’ll see you stumbling.” He drawled.

“They’ll know to mind their business.” I snipped back at him.

“Oooh. Someone’s not looking forward to seeing their mates.” He teased me, his voice a sing-song. I sent a vulgar gesture his way, and he just snorted, dragging me through the halls and depositing me at their door. I waited until he’d walked away before heading to my rooms instead, no sense in waking them up. Besides, on the nights I go out I usually sleep in my own rooms anyways, wanting to wash the alcohol off - and Aelin and Rowan need time alone. They don’t say it, but they were a couple long before me. Maybe I’m assuming things. I’m too drunk to think too much.

Normally Y/N stays in her rooms if she’s gone out, and they won’t argue or try to drag her into their rooms. If she needs space, they’ll let her have it.

But, tonight, Rowan had a feeling. A feeling he needed to be there. To see her. Like something might be wrong. He slipped out of bed, looking at the clock. Three hours past midnight. She should be back by now.

“Rowan?” Aelin mumbled sleepily, her eyes opening.

“I’m going to check on Y/N.”

Those turquoise eyes opened further. “I’ll come with you.” She yawned. He didn’t fight his wife as she climbed out of bed, grabbing a robe and wrapping it around herself. They moved quickly and silently, through the passage that connects both of their rooms.

He slowly pushed the door open. Asleep, sprawled out on her side, on the couch.

Safe - but a giant blue bruise blooming on her cheek. And absolutely reeking of alcohol. Did she get into some sort of brawl? He’d kill Fenrys. Slowly. Aelin placed a hand on his arm, but he could tell she was just as angry.

“Y/N.” A voice murmured, and I felt a hand running down my arm. A mumbled, some intelligible noise.

“Y/N. Wake up.” The voice, feminine, was more insistent. Aelin. Why was Aelin in here?.

Her eyes opened, glassy, pupils slightly dilated. Drunk. And very drunk. How fucking much did she drink? Y/N could almost drink Aelin under the table.

“Petal.” His mate's voice was low. “Did you get in a fight?”

“A what?” She was confused.

“Did you get in a rutting brawl?” I said from the door, not bothering to keep my voice low. Aelin turned and glared at me.

“What?”

My eyes narrowed. “Don’t play dumb.”

Her hand went up to her cheek, wincing, and she threw her head back in laughter, nearly howling. “I walked into a pillar.” She said in between laughs.”

Aelin was biting back a laugh, but I was just getting more pissed. Maybe it was a bit funny - but she was drunk enough she got herself hurt.

“Where was Fenrys?” My sharp tone had Aelin cutting a look at me. Don’t start.

“Caught me before I could hit the ground.” Her words slurred together.

“Come on.” Aelin tugged at her arm, pulling her up. “I’m not going to let you choke on your own vomit.”

She looked offended. “I am not throwing up.” The words came out very insistent. Aelin gave her a bemused smile, but pulled her up anyway, leading her towards her bathroom. “You reek.” She told her.

“That is rude.” Y/N stuck her tongue out.

I rolled my eyes, but followed them, grabbing a nightgown for Y/N to put on.

“What do I smell like?” She asked Aelin, stumbling next to her. Aelin’s arm wrapped around her waist holding her closely.

“Right now? Alcohol.”

Y/n let out an over dramatic sigh. “No, what’s my scent? You’re jasmine and lemon verbena, and he’s pine and snow.”

“Nutmeg and honey.” I answered from behind her, and her head turned, giving me a goofy smile.

“That’s nice.” She mumbled. I fought the smile threatening to form on my face.

Aelin was very sweet, helping me get in the tub, even washing me. I tried to stop her, but she cut me a glare. A nasty one. After that I let her.

“Who did you go see?” She asked, scrubbing my shoulders.

“Some Bard came into town.” I said, before sighing. Her touch feels incredible. “You have magic fingers.” I told her.

Her eyes crinkled, “and you’re drunk.”

“Maybe a bit. Fenrys told me I beat half of the Bane in a drinking contest.”

“The Bane?” Rowan’s voice came from the door. Low. And deadly low.

“That’s what he said.” I confirmed, looking at Aelin instead, who pressed her lips in a tight line. “What’s wrong with the bane?”

“They have a reputation.”

“I have a reputation.” I exclaimed.

“Excuse me?” Her voice grew a bit shrill.

“I drank half of them under the table.”

“Right.” She breathed out.

She thought Rowan was going to explode when he heard her say she has a reputation. He relaxed - barely. He needed something to do or he might blow up.

“Rowan get a towel.” I ordered without looking, and heard him moving around, before the soft fabric was pressed in my hands. “Help her out.”

“I don’t nee-” I pressed my finger to her lips. It’ll help him. I told her, speaking mind to mind.

Okay. Her sweet voice floated through my mind.

Even though anger rolled from him in waves, his hands were gentle as he lifted her out, holding her steady. I wordlessly handed him the towel, and gave him the chance to fuss, slipping a nightgown over her - one he’d already picked out. He went far enough to make her clean her mouth, and dried her hair for her. That brought a smile to my lips.

“Thank you.” She told him after, and me.

She tried to wobble off towards her bed, her legs shaky under her. I cut her off before she could reach the door. “You’re coming with us.”

“But it’s your-”

“No buts.” But … What was she going to say? Before ‘it’s your-’

“It’s our what?” Rowan asked for me.

She frowned. “Your night. For the two of you.”

I frowned, looking at Rowan. “We’ll talk about this in the morning.” When she’s more likely to remember it. He added to me.

“Nothing to talk about.” She mumbled, but let him pick her up, carrying her back to our room.

I groaned as the morning light hit me, streaming through the windows. My head started absolutely pounding. “Gods.” I groaned, pressing my palms into my eyes - like I might shove the headache away. A rough hand tugged one of mine away, pressing a glass vial into it. I peeked the free eye open, squinting to see Rowan.

“I’m surprised.” I murmured. A pain tonic. “Thank you.”

“We need to talk.” He grunted. “And I don’t want to deal with your whining.” Several months ago, I might’ve been hurt by the comment, but I was used to it by now, and ignored the second part, swigging the slightly vile liquid down. Fighting back the urge to make a face.

“One day I’ll figure out how to make those taste better.” I glared at the offending piece of glass. Rowan snatched it out of my hands.

“Lets go.” He jerked his head.

“Alright alright.” That’s when I felt the heat on my face. I looked across in the mirror. A large purple bruise bloomed across my feet. “What did I do?” My eyes were wide.

“You don’t remember?” He snorted, and left the room.

“Bastard.” I muttered under my breath, low enough he wouldn’t hear, and grabbed a robe before following him. “What did I do last night?” I repeated, walking into the sitting room and digging through my mind for what the hell might’ve happened.

He didn’t answer, pouring tea instead. “Where’s Aelin?” I tried.

“Training.” He said curtly.

“Rowan.” I said quietly. “What happened?” My memories cut off right before leaving the Tavern.

He shoved the cup in my hands, watching and waiting for me to take a sip. I did, and waited for him to respond.

“What do you remember?” He questioned, his voice was cold - usually meaning I’m about to be extensively lectured or punished for something.

“Up until leaving, with Fenrys.” He can almost always tell when I’m lying.

“You hurt yourself. Walking into a pillar.”

I sucked my lips in, fighting the urge to laugh. “Of course I did.” I choked out.

His eyes narrowed. “It’s not funny. What if Fenrys wasn’t with you?”

“I have other friends.” I countered, crossing my arms.

“Who we’ve never met.” His words came out flat. Emotionless.

“Would you like to meet them?” I said, feeling a bit on edge. “Do you not trust me to be a good judge of character?” That wasn’t exactly fair … but I didn’t and don’t need them to approve of my friends.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.” He growled. “Are you embarrassed by us? Do you not want them to know you’re with us?”

Cruel. He was playing dirty. “Of course not. They know” I kept my voice calm.

“Then why?”

“You never asked.” I countered. It’s true.

“You never asked to meet our friends, and we introduced you.”

My breaths got heavier. This wasn’t fair, that’s not the same thing. “When you introduced me, I was just a member of a foreign court, a delegate.”

He stalked up to me, standing so close that if I took a deep breath, my breasts would brush against him. “Was? Aren’t you still just a member of that court?” His voice was taunting, and cruel. Absolutely cruel. He meant for his words to hurt, and I could feel the slight satisfaction running through him when it did, but it was quickly pushed out by regret.

“Maybe I am, and maybe it’s time I go home for a bit.” Silver might’ve lined my eyes, but I hit right back. I turned sharply on my heel, walking silently towards my rooms, out the main door. I didn’t look back as I closed it softly, a slight click.

He didn’t follow, and maybe that’s what hurt the most.

I collapsed on my bed, my knees pressing into my elbows, my head held in my hands, trying to figure out what about last night set him off. Made him so angry he’d say those things. Not that I acted much better.

I wanted him to follow me. To tell me not to go - or to yell at me. Something. I paced for the better part of an hour, before deciding to go back. Porting off back home wouldn’t do anything, it would just make things worse.

I took the direct passage this time, hearing another door creak open at the same time as mine. Rowan looked directly at me. “Aren’t you supposed to be gone?” The same cruel tone as earlier. Maybe I imagined that regret. I couldn’t say anything, or my voice might’ve broken. I took a step back, closing the door.

I heard Aelin’s voice, “gone where?” But I’d already turned, heading back. “Rowan. What did you do?”

Is this what the rest of my life will be like? Cruel barbs, hurtful words from both sides. A traitorous thought ran through my mind, why couldn’t it just be Aelin? But I dismissed that immediately. I couldn’t imagine not having both of them, not having two mates. It would be wrong, it wouldn’t feel complete. But for them - they could imagine it, they’ve lived it, and likely were perfectly fine before I came along. The two of them fit. Balanced each other perfectly.

Am I some kind of wrench thrown in? A piece being forced into a puzzle, one that doesn’t quite fit? I’ve heard of mating bonds being rejected before. Ours is already sealed but … Even thinking about it brings a sharp pain in my chest. Gods they’re already a part of me, dug in so deep it would take something horrible and cataclysmic to drive me away from them.

I hadn’t told them I loved them. They hadn’t told me. A final barrier that hasn’t been crossed.

I sought out Fenrys around lunch, convincing him to come eat with me in my rooms. He seemed wary, considering this is definitely out-of-character for me.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, shoving a tart in his mouth.

“What were Rowan and Aelin like before me?”

He choked slightly, coughing into his hand, but finishing the food. I watched him intently. I needed to know. Had to know.

“Fine. They were fine, at least it seemed that way.” He stared back at me. “What are you thinking?”

“I’m an outsider.” I started. He gave me a look that said, no shit. “I don’t … I don’t know if I belong here.”

“I was an outsider.” Fenrys leaned back. “You know I’m from Doranelle. It was difficult at first, but I found my place.” He spit out the country’s name, like it was poison.

“You rejected Doranelle.”

“I did.” He nodded, his tone cautious, like he knew where I was headed.

“I don’t reject my home.”

“You can belong to more than one place.” He argued.

“But me being here is causing an issue.”

“Rowan and Aelin fought. Still fight sometimes. Does that mean they don’t belong together?” Fenrys is more perceptive than people give him credit for.

“They’re different.”

“How?” He sounded a bit exasperated.

“Because they share bonds together I never will.” That truth finally came out. “And if there was a situation they had to …” My voice broke.

He shoved a plate of sweets at me. “For both of our sakes,” he said carefully, “I’m going to pretend those words never came out of your mouth. Do you understand?”

I nodded. A warning - if those questions were brought up … the results that come out might cause irreparable damage. Sometimes those things are better left swallowed. At the same time, I want to know my place with them. We ate in silence for a few minutes before the door breezed open. Aelin, I’d know the jasmine and lemon verbena anywhere.

“Really?” She sighed, “Choosing that dog over me?”

“I wasn’t aware there was a choice.” She raised an eyebrow, but sat next to me, grabbing some sweets.

“You always have the best sweets.” She popped a truffle in her mouth, moaning.

“And you always raid my collection.”

“They’re bought on Crown gold.” She winked. Fenrys winced across from me, the action thankfully going unnoticed by Aelin, who had her eyes closed.

I didn’t reply, but drank some water instead, the chocolates suddenly seemed unappetizing. “I do keep them just for you.” I covered smoothly. She placed a grateful kiss on my cheek, before turning, throwing her legs over my lap and lounging on the couch. I absentmindedly rubbed circles into her calves.

“I heard you beat half of the Bane in a drinking contest. Aedion is ashamed. I’m quite proud.” She grinned.

“Are you complimenting someone else's drinking prowess?” Fenrys looked amused, leaning back and crossing an ankle over his knee.

“I’m giving credit where credit is due.”

“Very kind of you.” I kept a smile. A forced one, and kept rubbing circles into her legs. Where credit is due. Drinker, bed warmer, what else? Aelin seemed to notice the shift, because she kicked Fenrys out, he left with a tight glance between the two of us, but no complaints.

“What’s wrong with you?” She nudged my thigh with her toe.

I flinched slightly. “A bit homesick.” Close enough.

“Rowan told me about that.” I could see the bored expression on her face from the corner of my eyes. She’s keeping a tight lid on her emotions.

“I sometimes say things I regret.” Regretting something doesn’t mean it wasn’t true.

“We all do.” I could hear the same echo, doesn’t mean it wasn’t true.

Ask the damn question Y/N. I chided myself, I can’t put words into her mouth. “Did he mean it?” The words came out quickly.

“Isn’t that a question you should ask him?”

She has a point, so I countered with something I should ask her. “How do you feel about it? Both things.” Please don’t make me repeat them. I pleaded to her silently. She took some pity on me.

“I wouldn’t mind meeting your friends, but I understand we can be … intimidating. But I don’t know if you’re keeping them from us because of that, or if you’re scared we’ll drive one of them off.” I waited for her to continue. There wasn’t technically a question there. “Do you want to be a member of this court? Would that mean you’re choosing?”

Choosing. Right. Absolute loyalty - something I can’t promise. “I hadn’t thought of it that way.”

“You’re our mate.” She said softly. “And you have your place here.”

“Are you telling me to know my place?” Maybe that wasn’t fair.

“I didn’t say that.” She said sharply. But you didn’t not say it. Gods I wanted to hear all of the things that weren’t said, but I wanted them to soothe me. I don’t want the truth right now. I want sweet things meant to make me feel better. I’d even take little lies over these tiny cracks I’m feeling. The faltering, the hesitation. “Are you having trouble adjusting?”

“Aelin it’s been nearly two years.”

“And we’re immortal.”

“I’ve found a life here.” We’re both skilled at non-answers. I still hadn’t looked at her, couldn’t meet her gaze. Around her, and him, my eyes tend to show everything. A wall I can’t seem to put up.

“Look at me.” Kind, but unyielding. I do.

Tears are threatening to flood down her face, I can see it. I can’t help but think maybe she’s being a bit oversensitive. I’ve seen her in her own court .. well, the one she doesn’t really claim. Tough love? Or soft?

“Was it better without me?”

Oh Gods I did not expect that. I moved fast, tugging her to straddle my lap. “Don’t ever say that.” My voice was harsh, my hand gripping her chin, making sure she looked directly at me. “Did we make you feel that way?”

She rolled her bottom lip between her teeth, I just noticed it was bloodied and bruised - like she’d been biting on it all day. “I don’t know how much of it is just in my head.” So we did make her feel like that, at least partially.

“We can’t reassure you or fix ridiculous notions if you don’t tell us.”

She laughed darkly, pushing my hand away from her face, and turning her head. “That’s part of the problem. They’re ridiculous to you.” I wrenched her head back to face me.

“Don’t look away from me.” I snarled, holding her even when she flinched. “They are ridiculous, even if you believe them. We weren’t better off without you. You’re a wonderful part of us, part of us we didn’t know was there. Just like we’re a part of you. You belong with us.” I emphasized. “Come to us when you feel this way. Let us fix it.”

“There isn’t anything to fix.” Her eyes kept steady on mine, although I could see her temptation to look away.

“Then tell me exactly what’s been running through your head.” She swallowed harshly. “You either know it’s wrong, or you’re scared to bring it up.” Her eyes gave it away. Both.

“Can we talk about this later?” She pleaded, breaking eye contact, her bottom lip quivering.

“Look at me.” I gritted my teeth, and she did. The vulnerability in her eyes made me sigh. “Promise you’ll actually talk about it.”

I watched her hesitate, but she did promise.

Falling asleep was uncomfortable. There was a tension drifting between the three of us, but I didn’t feel like talking about it yet, and they respected that. Barely, I could see both of them aching to have the conversation - to get it out of the way, but I needed time to gather my thoughts. A night to sleep on it.

Eventually we did drift off to sleep.

“Leave.” Rowan said harshly, his face set in a nasty look. One I’d only seen him give to people who were rude to Aelin or I. What did I do?

“Leave.” Aelin repeated his words with that same look. It was unnatural, it wasn’t them.

“But-”

“Now.” He growled, taking a menacing step towards me.

Another voice came from behind me. “I lied, they were better without you.” I whirled around. Fenrys. The look, they all had the same one.

“I can be better.” I stuttered through the words.

“You don’t get it.” Aelin laughed harshly. “We don’t want you.”

Rowan shoved me through the gates, just a bag in my hands. “Step foot in Terrasen again, and you’re dead.”

They slammed shut in front of me.

“No, no, no, no.” I whispered, tears running down my face, my entire body shaking.

“Y/N.” A disembodied voice said, repeatedly.

“It’s a dream.” My eyes flew open, I felt magic flooding around me. A hand rubbed my back. “Breathe, breathe darling.” Aelin’s voice, but I couldn’t see her. A dream, it was a nightmare.

I heard Rowan, his voice strained. “Bring your magic back in. Call it back to you.”

I did, and it came back joyfully, swirling against the shield of wind holding it in, with teasing pokes, before flying back into me, and the room was encased in moonlight.

“Gods, I’m sorry.” I sighed. “Please, don’t be. I’ve burned several bed sheets before.” Her voice was light, a smile on her face. “Besides, your magic isn’t scary, it’s quite beautiful actually.” I could feel her magic bubbling, wanting out to play, mine reacted in kind.

“Tomorrow.” Rowan said, and we turned in sync to glare at him. The serious look on his face remained, and Aelin huffed before tugging me into her arms - pointedly leaving him out.

#rowaelin x reader #throne of glass fic #rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin #poly!rowaelin x y/n #poly!rowaelin x reader #aelin galathynius x y/n #aelin galathynius x reader #aelin x y/n #aelin x reader #rowan whitethorn x reader #rowan whitethorn x y/n #angst

348 notes · View notes

specialagentlokitty · 7 months

Text

Carol Danvers x sibling!reader - always a family

Carol Danvers having a sibling who has similar powers to her, but not near immortality, both being close but covering separate parts of the universe reuniting after the Marvels where Carol tells them about her found family connection with Monica and Khamala and Y/N talks about their own extended found family and they’re both excited for each other? - Anon💜

A/N: there’s mentions of spoilers from the marvels, not major but slight mentions of an event from the film

Sitting on your ship, you held your hands up behind your hand, feeling a cup of coffee being handed to you, you grinned.

“See, this is why I keep you around Lee.”

“Damn I thought it was because we made a great team.”

You laughed, turning your chair around to look at him and you smiled a little bit.

“Where’s Sienna?”

“She went for a nap, can’t say I blame her that last mission was exhausting.” Lee replied.

You hummed a little bit, nodding your head.

“Yeah, it was. You should sleep as well, who knows how long we’ll have to relax.”

“Same goes for you, get some sleep cap, I’ll take the first shift, I’ll come wake you if there’s anything unusual.”

You stood up, patting him on the shoulder as you walked past.

“Thanks.”

Making your way through your ship, you headed to the bunks, setting your coffee down and you dropped yourself on one of the beds.

Pulling the blanket over your head, you quickly fell asleep, needing a good rest to recharge and to be able to think clearly.

You finally woke up, a little groggy and you wrapped the blanket around your shoulders, making your way back to the front of the ship.

“Well look who finally rose from the dead.” Sienna laughed.

You grumbled out a reply nobody could understand, and you sat down on a beanbag, curling yourself up into a ball.

“The great protector of the universe as alert as ever.”

Lee walked over, giving you some coffee and he held out your phone to you.

“It’s been ringing non stop, it’s not an emergency it didn’t bypass the system. You’ve been asleep for nearly a day, so we’re off to sleep now. Later.”

You waved to them and pushed yourself up, setting your phone down you redialled the number that had been trying to call you.

“Well about time you replied.”

You laughed slightly.

“Carol, what’s up?”

“We took some damage, think you can meet us and help us out?”

“Yeah, send me your coordinates and I’ll head there now.”

“Thanks!”

Carol hung up, sending you her location and you made your way there.

Heading to your room, you quickly showered and changed before making your way to the entrance of your ship.

You waited for it to open, and you made your way down it, seeing the familiar blond stood by her ship.

“A little more than some damage.”

Carol laughed slightly, walking over to meet you halfway and she hugged you.

“Okay, I may have downplayed it a bit.”

Pulling away, you walked over to her ship to investigate the damage.

“Should be easy enough, I’ve got some scraps and stuff on board.”

Making your way back in the ship, you came out with a bunch of tools and scrap, dropping them on the floor with a little grin.

Carol laughed, picking some stuff up.

“Where do you even get this?”

“A gift from some king I saved.”

She smiled slightly, sitting next to you as you looked at the under part of her ship.

“How is travelling life treating you?” You asked.

“It’s pretty good, it was really lonely at first, but I’ve got some friends now, and of course there’s goose, Monica and Kamala.”

You lifted your head a little.

“Monica? That was your friends daughter right?”

Carol nodded, handing you some more scrap metal.

“Yeah, she works for Shield now, I think you met her a few times when she was a kid and she all grown up now. Though she uh.. she’s not here..”

You sat up, furrowing your brows a bit.

“She got trapped in a portal to a different universe, she sacrificed herself to save ours..”

You reached out, taking her hands.

“I’m sorry…”

Carol smiled a little.

“It’s alright…”

“Hey, come here.”

You shuffled over, hugging her gentle and she sniffled a little, holding you tightly.

You ran a hand up and down her back while she cried.

“You’re okay… I’m sorry we don’t see each other much but I’m always here…”

“I know I’ll always have my younger sibling..” she whispered.

Carol pulled away, taking a deep breath as she wiped some of her tears away.

“Tell me about this Kamala.”

Carol used her powers to take some of the scrap to the top of the ship and you did the same with the tools, sitting down to fix the breaks in her ship.

“Well, she’s a little overjoyed about meeting me, apparently I’m her hero. But she’s good, her powers are amazing as well, she’s still learning about them though.”

You nodded.

You wore a soft smile as you listened to Carol explain about her new found family.

She was so excited as she told you about it all, and she even showed you some pictures they all took together and some videos from her ship.

You looked at her and she gave you a confused look.

“I’m so glad you finally found yourself a family Carol, it’s about time you found some people to care for you after all this time.”

Carol gestured to your ship.

“What about you? You’ve been travelling longer than I have.”

“Oh yeah, I got me some people too. Sienna and Lee, they’re always on board with me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, they aren’t accepted much on their planets, but I always really suck at saying their name, so, they chose Earth names to make it easier for me.”

Carol smiled.

“Good, you always were against the idea of having people to call family.”

You pushed the rest of the metal off the ship, letting it clatter to the floor and you jumped up, grinning at your sister.

She grinned back and did the same thing to you, both of you using your powers to jump down from the ship with the tools.

Walking inside her ship, you looked around, making your way over to the cat like creature.

“Hey Goosey Goose.”

Petting the cat on the back, you looked around again, picking up random things.

“Do you think we’ll ever be able to live back on Earth?” Carol asked.

You shrugged a little.

“Probably not, I haven’t been back since that crash. I don’t know what happened to you, but the last thing I remember was waking all the way across the universe because of my new found powers.”

“Seriously? That long?”

“Universe is huge, you can’t protect it all alone.”

You walked over to her, hitting her shoulder lightly.

“But no matter what you’re my sister, so even if we’re always apart, I’ll still be there for you and come when you call.”

Carol smiled.

“Thanks (Y/N), and the same for you as well. Do you have to leave?”

You shook your head.

“Great, let’s stay here for a bit, maybe watch some crappy films?” She grinned.

“Hell yeah! I have a way better Tv then you let’s go!”

You grabbed her and dragged her back to your ship.

Yes, the universe needed saving, but it was always going to need saving, right now you and Carol just needed a few hours to spend some time together as a family

#marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x you #marvel x y/n #marvel imagine #captain marvel #captain marvel x reader #captain marvel x you #captain marvel imagine #Carol Danvers #carol Danvers x reader #Carol Danvers x you #Carol Danvers imagine

44 notes · View notes

callmewishful · 2 years

Text

I have thoughts about Matthias’s childhood, his personality at the academy, and his shift after the death of his wife and child and now you’re going to hear them too.

(Bullet points because it’s easy)

Matthias’s childhood…left something to be desired. In a territory that is the only thing between Sreng and Faerghus, I think it’s easy to put strength and duty above all else. Yes I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again.

I think emotions were a no-no in the Gautier household. Crying is weakness, sadness is dumb (either fix it or move on), jealousy is pointless, etc. Focus on your duties. Matthias was to be the next Margrave and as Margrave you gotta be strong, clear-headed, and logical.

I also think Matthias’s father was about unwavering obedience (because not doing so against Sreng gets you killed) and he’s got no time for shenanigans with his duties

Because Gautier is super duty/learning focused, I think Matthias didn’t meet Lambert and Rodrigue until the academy. Friends are distractions, kids. But when he did meet them…that was a wild ride for him. The Future King and Duke…s-skip class? Get into TROUBLE? *clutches pearls*

No one can avoid the shenanigans of Lambert and Rodrigue though, so of course Matthias gets pulled in. He tries to keep himself out of it, but the two boys need help when their schemes fail and who’s the most cunning? Matthias.

And the shrewd boy is rewarded with stolen snacks (Rodrigue has all of his favorites memorized), game nights (Lambert is surprisingly good at chess), jokes (Matthias pretends to hate but can’t help laughing at) and genuine care.

Therefore I think Daddy Gautier loosens up a little, learns to relax, learns to have…fun? And friends? Who knew you could enjoy yourself and fulfill all the duties required of you? Who knew others really could care about you with nothing expected in return? These people just like him…and that’s why they hang around? It’s a brave new world.

Sometimes compromises must be made to keep them all sane. Matthias agrees to skip his third training session of the day to get into mischief if Lambert and Rodrigue will attend class with him in the morning, etc. Point is, the boys start to balance each other out.

Things are pretty smooth sailing. And then Rodrigue rushes ahead into battle and Lambert and Matthias nearly have a heart attack. Lambert and Matthias get into a fist fight about saving Rodrigue because damnit he needs help but both boys have such strong opinions on how to best do it.

It’s the first time Lambert and Rodrigue really realize that Matthias will quite literally do anything to help them, despite all his grumbling. Duty and respect be damned, he’ll even fist fight the king.

Of course they knew Matthias liked them and cared for them in his own little way, but that’s the first time they realized just how far Matthias would go for them. Maybe even the first time Matthias really realizes how deep into this friendship he is. Their bonds only strengthen from there as they all realize that they’re stuck with each other no matter what.

They graduate (even Lambert and Rodrigue lol), take over their territories, get married, have kids (for Matthias). And life is great!

Until it isn’t.

After he loses his wife, things take a drastic turn for the worst.

Everything his father told him about not getting close to people and people only bringing you pain comes true. If he’d kept his wife at a distance, she couldn’t hurt him. If he kept his joy and love in check and was emotionless and logical, this couldn’t hurt him. But he didn’t do that and he ignored his father and now Sreng took damn-near everything he held dear because he showed weakness and he was vulnerable and damn it all he hurts unlike anything he’s ever felt before.

By pure accident he snaps at Rodrigue and his friend doesn’t speak to him for a couple weeks. He thought that things would be better, because if he didn’t have his friends close, they couldn’t hurt him either. But instead he learns that he’s too far deep and Rodrigue not returning his apology makes it all worse because not only has he lost his wife and child but one of closest friends and it feels lonely and it amplifies the wounds he already has on his heart.

He realizes that cutting them off doesn’t fix the pain. But now he doesn’t know how to fix it. All he knows is that he can’t save himself. The most important thing now is to make sure his friends don’t ever feel this way and to ensure Sreng can’t take anything else from him. The next best thing he can come up with and do for them is start heeding his father’s advice.

So he keeps himself guarded instead. He hopes that if he shields his emotions that he won’t hurt his friends so bad when something happens to him.

Because let’s face it, Matthias will do anything for those he loves. He cares about them deeply, but damn if he doesn’t have a backwards-ass way of showing it

And that’s it. That’s his whole character. A man who cares but has a backwards-ass way of showing it that accidentally makes things worse instead of better.

#I project onto this man so hard #I love him #sorry this got long #matthias raoul gautier #margrave Gautier

22 notes · View notes

phanfictioncatalogue · 1 year

Text

Fics Written in 2012 (2) Masterlist

part one

A Beautiful Someday - shipitlikeitsmyjob

Summary: Dan does not live with Phil, but it feels like he does. Phil’s flat in Manchester is more like a home than anything he’s had before. He loves everything about it, from the soft give of the leather in the couch to the noise of the city from its balcony, but mostly he loves the fact that Phil is in it.

They’re sitting on the aforementioned couch, watching old Doctor Who reruns, poised a scant few inches apart with hands resting near. The inches may as well be miles, though, and the soft black upholstery between them the Atlantic for all the possibility that Dan will cross it. He wants it too much to let himself do it, fingers itching with desire to touch, so he resolutely folds his hand into his lap and absolutely does not notice the way that Phil seems to shrink in on himself a little.

Someday, he thinks, someday I’ll have the courage to touch you.

But Men Can’t Get Pregnant! - philpocalypse-please

Summary: During a night of drinking, Phil gets a bit more than tipsy and is convinced that he's pregnant with Dan's child. Phan fluff. NOT mpreg.

Changes - thelionandthellama

Summary: Dan gets a girlfriend. Things are about to change.

Chocolate - mermaidstailonmyface

Summary: three-way with chocolate sauce.

Chromaticity - shipitlikeitsmyjob

Summary: Phil is color, Phil is contrast, Phil is black on white on blue, and you are monochrome. An overabundance of fucking brown, filling you up so entirely that even your insides feel colorless.

Christening The New Sofa (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Just pure old good fashioned smut, Dan/Phil, don't like, don't read

Close the Damn Cupboards 2 - interrupted-by-fireworks

Summary: Phil and Dan are arguing when the sexual tension gets too much.

Do It Anyway - definitelythor

Summary: Dan and Phil both think staying friends will keep them together, but it actually drives them apart.

Everything In Between (2) (3) - dubblebubblediscoursequeen

Summary: Phil comes home upset after breaking up with his girlfriend for a particularly heartbreaking reason, and Dan turns out to be better at comforting him than either of them expected. But, of course, it doesn't stop there. They have a lengthy conversation about life, love, and well, everything in between.

I Can Live Without You (But Without You I'll Be Miserable At Best) - howellslester

Summary: Phil has his girlfriend over and Dan gets very jealous. He tries to win him over and succeeds

If These Sheets Were The States, And You Were Miles Away - howellslester

Summary: Dan really fucking hates distance.

It Started With a Tag - philpocalypse-please

Summary: Phan fluff. Dan is looking through the Phan tag and Phil notices...

I’ve Missed You - what-a-phantastic-blog

Summary: Smut. GLORIOUS SMUT.

Love Is Easy (2) (3) (4) (5) - philpocalypse-please

Summary: Phan fluff to keep you warm on the cold, winter nights. Dan was convinced that love was difficult and complicated. Phil sets out to show him just how easy it is. A series of short stories of Phil and Dan's relationship progressing.

My Heart is Cold as Ice - definitelythor

Summary: Drabble based on the fact Phil was watching Dan's liveshow.

Myself to You - threetimesgood

Summary: Basically I just wrote a fuckton of smut.

Pinky Promise - what-a-phantastic-blog

Summary. Woooo Phan fluff

Problems - mermaidstailonmyface

Summary: Prompt: You should write a fuck ton of Phan smut with Phil being the dominant one.

Rules For the Flat (2) (3) (4) - littlelioncats-blog

Save You - howellslester

Summary: Take a breath, I pull myself together

Just another step, until I reach the door

Sexy Bath Time - fuckmelestrade

Summary: Prompt: "So what's it like having me back in the bath?" Phan bath please!

Spaceman - philskoolkatz

Summary: “Evening” Dan responded, flashing an even brighter smile. “You’re stars are looking very pretty”

The Closet of Love - fuckmelestrade

Summary: a story where dan and phil are at a party and dan is the popular kid and his friends force him to kiss phil who is like the loser of the school but then a lot of hot sex happens well that would be nice.

The Dream Book - chocolatesaucelester

Summary: I guess a bit of smut and some bad writing :)

To Write Love On His Arms - thelionandthellama

Summary: He won't leave this night alone and he won't sleep at all and all the sorrow that he takes out on himself, it comes around and leaves him bleeding on the floor.

We’ll Make It Through This Together - interrupted-by-fireworks

Summary: Dan finds Phil passed out on the bathroom floor.

We’ve Only Got All Night 2 3 - mermaidstailonmyface

Summary: It's Phil's birthday and Chris and PJ are insisting that he goes out and has some fun. Unwillingly, Phil accepts, but when he goes... there's a little more than just the surprise of a gay strip club in store for him.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfic #phan #phanfiction #masterlists #2012fics masterlist #2012fics

9 notes · View notes

hungry-tum-stuff · 2 years

Text

🍪 Special Delivery 🍪

*Context: This story takes place early on in Lumen’s relationship with their closest friend Jonah, and deals with him discovering that they’re a Wendigo. There is a good chunk of exposition as this is the first time I’ve written for either of these characters!

CW: Hunger kink, Mentions of cannibalism, effects of starvation, refusal to eat, hunger pangs, stomach growling, mention of stomachaches

Jonah Ellis ran on a tight schedule.

He got up with the sun, made breakfast for him and his daughter, and saw her off to school before opening up the bakery for the day. And there he’d stay for the rest of the afternoon, baking and rolling dough until his arms were sore and tending to customers until he’d sold his stock and closed up.

And as soon as he closed up shop and fixed up dinner, he worked overtime making deliveries around town.

Jonah hated seeing any of his baking go to waste, so anything he didn’t sell, he set aside for folks who needed food, or friends who had a particular hankering for his baked goods.

Lumen was one of those friends.

He’d formally met Lumen about a month ago. That being said, he’d known about the tailor who lived at the edge of town for years. Jonah had always heard whispers about them: He’d heard that they were impossibly tall, had horrifying fangs and huge antlers, and that they were the devil behind the town’s unexplained disappearances. So naturally, Jonah had kept his distance. But when his daughter hit a growth spurt and needed her clothes tailored, Lumen proved themself to be the most reliable person for the job. They’d mended her clothes and then some, offering to outfit both her and Jonah with one of their beautifully knit sweaters. And despite Jonah refusing and insisting they couldn’t pay for brand-new clothes, Lumen had two sweaters ready for them free of charge when he came in a week later to have his apron adjusted. Working in a bakery didn’t help you keep off any extra weight, after all.

It had been a small blessing; the sweaters were perfect for the incoming autumn. So from that point on Jonah was intent on returning the favor.

Lumen looked almost exactly how the other townsfolk had described them: They were tall and gangly, they had antlers and cloven feet and their gentle smile was fang-toothed. But the most intimidating thing about them seemed to be their appearance, because they were hardly the devil he’d heard stories about. Lumen made a point to put on a kettle of tea whenever Jonah came around, and they were pleasantly talkative. It seemed like they’d gone awhile without a good conversation.

Or a good meal, for that matter.

At the end of the day, the only real problem Jonah had with Lumen’s appearance was how thin they were. They were obviously hungry, that fact only being made more obvious by their grumbling stomach that could frequently be heard in their little shop. And while they brushed it off, Jonah wasn’t one to let somebody go hungry when he could do something about it.

So he’d simply made making deliveries to Lumen’s shop a part of his schedule.

He saw the guy every day, and while Lumen seemed pleased to have a consistent visitor and always invited him inside for tea, there wasn’t a day where he didn’t hear Lumen’s stomach pitching a fit during their conversations. Hell, he’d never actually seen Lumen eat any of the pastries he’d brought, and he’d brought him damn near everything in an attempt to find something they liked. Carrot cake, chocolate croissants, beignets: They all sat uneaten while they sipped their tea and talked about their goings-on, and Lumen did everything in their power to avoid even looking at the food Jonah brought.

And today, Jonah decided he’d had just about enough of avoiding the subject.

After closing up the bakery he’d wrapped up one of everything and headed straight to Lumen’s shop, where the tailor answered with their usual eagerness.

“Jonah! You’re early today, I was just in the middle of some embroidery, come in and I’ll put the kettle on.” They insisted, their fluffy little cottontail wagging as they led the man inside. Jonah obliged silently, setting his basket on Lumen’s rickety dining table and catching their wrist before they could retreat to the kitchen.

It was far too bony.

“Hold it, before you make any tea I need you to do something for me. And I ain’t leaving until you do it.” He said sternly. Lumen’s tail halted, and their golden eyes only looked at Jonah with a mixture of worry and confusion as he pulled the cloth from his basket to reveal a tantalizing arrangement of pastries.

“Eat something.”

Lumen broke eye contact to stare intently at the floor, and their fuzzy ears lowered to the point where they were hidden by that mop of wavy hair. “Well, I’m not really all that hungry right now…” And as if intending to prove them wrong, Lumen’s stomach growled ferociously in the brief pause in their conversation. Their face flushed and they wrapped their arms around their tummy as Jonah released their wrist and crossed his own arms.

“Bullshit. I hear your stomach growling like that every day when I come by, it ain’t exactly hard to notice. And I’ve never seen you eat anything I brought you. So either sit down and eat, or tell me what’s going on.”

Lumen frowned as their gaze stayed locked on the floorboards. They looked nervous; cornered. After a few painstaking moments of silence they shook their head, beginning to wring the fabric of their shirt anxiously. “You don’t want to know. You wouldn’t like it.”

“I already don’t like whatever situation you’re in. Look, obviously you’re hungry, and you don’t gotta give me the full story if you don’t want to. Even if it’s as simple as you don’t like eating around people or you’re short on coin and what I’m bringing you ain’t enough, I just need to know how to help you.” Both Lumen and Jonah grimaced as their stomach set loose a particularly hollow-sounding growl, and Lumen clutched the fabric of their shirt a little tighter in their clawed fingernails. “Because I can’t keep seeing you like this and just do fuckall about it.”

Lumen finally looked up and met Jonah’s eyes. They looked like they might cry: Their lower lip was trembling and their eyes were round and wet.

“Well, I don’t need to tell you that I’m not exactly human… Not fully, anyways. So I don’t eat like any regular person: Fruits and vegetables upset my tummy, and the things that don’t make me sick hardly keep me full…” Lumen began pacing back and forth in their cluttered living area in the midst of their explanation, their hooves clicking rhythmically against the hardwood. “So I’m hungry all the time. Or, a lot of the time… The only thing that really keeps me full is, uhm, people…” Lumen took a shuddering breath as Jonah’s eyes widened, and he nearly fell back into one of the dining room chairs as he took in what the other had just told him.

“People?”

“Yes, but I hardly ever do it, I swear!” Lumen stopped their pacing to look back at Jonah, seemingly to plead with him. “It’s- It’s a curse, and the more people I eat, the less human I become, so I don’t want to eat people, I really don’t. But I’m just so hungry all the time- And I’m sorry I gave your pastries to my neighbors, they looked really good but I was worried they’d make me sick, and if you’re mad at me or scared of me that’s fine, I promise I won’t hurt you, just please don’t put together a mob…” The tears that had been pricking at their eyes finally flowed freely as they rambled, and Lumen stood with their arms wrapped around themselves as Jonah stood up carefully, eyes fixed on Lumen.

“I’m not mad. I’m a little scared if I’m being honest, but only on your behalf… I can’t imagine having to worry about something like that.” Lumen sniffled and wiped their tears, but those big, sad doe eyes still watched Jonah cautiously. “You ain’t a bad person Lumen: You’re far from it. Heck, you’re nicer than most folks I know.” Jonah assured as Lumen’s expression started to shift into one of confusion.

“So… You’re not mad I didn’t eat your baking…?”

“God no, don’t even worry about that. And I meant what I said, I want to know how to help you.” Jonah paused. “In a way that other folks don’t get hurt.”

“You really mean that…?” Lumen’s ears slowly began to peek back out from beneath their hair, no longer pressed against their head.

“Of course I do.”

“Well… I can eat raw meat. It doesn’t keep me full for very long, but it helps me feel a little less hungry… And I can eat bread, and other things like milk and eggs, but they don’t fill me up at all. I’ve never actually tried anything sugary, that’s why I was worried that your pastries would give me a tummyache…” Lumen frowned, pressing a palm into their belly as it desperately whined again. Despite Lumen’s reluctance, their stomach seemed eager to try something new, even if it didn’t do a thing to satisfy their insatiable appetite.

“Well, I damn near brought you my bakery’s entire stock in case you feel like trying something new.” Jonah chuckled, looking through what he’d brought over. “I guess we can rule out carrot cake, rhubarb pie, blueberry muffins… How’s about a good old-fashioned chocolate chip cookie? That’s Mallory’s favorite.” He offered, trying to keep conversation somewhat casual as Lumen stepped closer to inspect the cookie.

“It’s your daughter’s favorite…? Well, I can’t exactly argue with her tastes.”

“No you can’t.” Jonah agreed with a proud papa-bear grin, handing over the cookie. Lumen held it like it was going to bite them, but instead they took a careful nibble. And immediately after they did, their eyes welled with tears again.

“Lumen? What’s wrong? Do you feel sick already?” Lumen quickly shook their head, swallowing carefully and cradling their concave stomach with one hand as if they were still expecting the worst. A moment passed, and Lumen stifled a sob.

“No, i-it’s really good…” Lumen took another bite, this time more eager. Jonah just cocked an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cry it’s just- There’s not a lot of regular food I can eat that doesn’t make me feel sick… It feels nice to eat something, even if it won’t fill my belly.” They smiled wryly, and Jonah just sighed with relief as they finished off the rest of the cookie, their tail slowly wagging back and forth.

“Well I’m glad you found something… I’ll have to experiment with more recipes to make things you can eat-“ Jonah was partially cut off as Lumen’s stomach grumbled hungrily, and they wrapped their arms around their noisy gut once again, sinking down into their old armchair and wincing slightly. The older man just frowned slightly and nudged his friend’s shoulder. “But for now I’ll start delivering you some meat from the butcher’s shop to help take care of that belly of yours. Sound good?” Lumen’s eyes widened, and they nodded gratefully.

“Of course, thank you so much Jonah, I-“ Lumen paused suddenly, their ears perking up again. “I forgot to put the kettle on! Oh dear, do you still want tea?” Lumen started to get up, but Jonah motioned for them to stay put as he made his way towards the kitchen instead.

“I’ll handle it this time, bud. You’ve got some cookies to finish: I wrapped up a batch of sugar cookies from this morning for ya too. You work on that, I’ll work on whatever fancy tea you’ve got in here.” He insisted, and Lumen nodded slowly, a little fang-toothed smile making its way onto their face.

And Jonah couldn’t help but smile back.

#sfw hunger kink #hunger kink fic #stomach growling #tummy kink #hunger kink #hungry #tummy #ocs #original characters #my writing #this took six days but I’m lowkey proud of how it turned out 👁👁#I also think this is the longest piece of writing I’ve done for this account #anyways enjoy!!#I hope y’all like my blorbos

25 notes · View notes

the-firebird69 · 14 days

Video

youtube

DOMINANT PHYSIQUE - THE STRONGEST AND THE BIGGEST BODYBUILDER WHO EVER E...

Everybody wants to see you let you guys so just wanna pick on someone who's like a friend of Mrs Ladish. You just huge wimps and this is Dan AK Dave and his father pushed over the Iranian giant he was the one competing with him. They look at the size of the arm and it's half the width and size or more of her upper body and these are abusive people to women she wouldn't stand a chance in a fight unless she hit the mains and then it would be too late by the time that the blood left all of his muscles. They're constantly **** around with me all these challenging me and they don't want me to grow because they're **** ****. They're already afraid of me and they're running around saying I won't have any food and they're afraid I'll grow and it probably came out and he was Lou Ferrigno after my brother was I mean give me a break. Talk about eagle problems in ed I mean I don't want you people near me I don't give a **** about your mental **** problems. Don't care about your finances if you're near me bothering me people are killing you. And you just don't want to see myself get big and you don't want to compete with me that size and people think it's a good gig and you don't and they're probably gonna come in here big and beat you to death'cause they want to have a good gig not picking on some guy and everybody knows what you're doing.

Zues Hera And it's not sometime everybody knows who he is and see you all the time you're always on camera and they're getting back at you every night and every day you're just ridiculous.

I don't know what to say i'm sitting there eating and eating it takes so much damn work to be huge it's awful. He's gonna be naturally huge and I can't stand it so I don't understand myself I guess that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you're naturally huge so we're afraid of you when we can't do anything is what we're saying. You have too much money and stuff and we can't handle you and so we look like big huge **** and everybody's taking our stuff. And furthermore if he's like really big I think I would try and get big and he knows it and he doesn't want me around when he gets bigger there's too much of a hassle it's like having a three year old child running around the house screaming. That's what he says and I agree we're very damned annoying eventually grab us and do something take us out back and say there was a small avalanche and it was a truck and he threw it onto my stupid head. I'm sorry I'm seeing something I'm sort of seeing something he's really kind of angry at us and we don't see it so I'm telling him not to be angry and say I'm ridiculous and **** **** and die and I'm going to tell you to go to hell dan and I'm going to order you a hit again with a baseball bat. So I guess he's probably gonna do that and I'll die and wander around not know anything people say it and try to play the tape and not be able to you know this sucks he can't even post this he says without me being a huge **** He says we suck in my little girls and we'll just sit here in the apartment and make fun of him poke fun say we're getting stuff. It's not what's happening. I do see something we keep pointing out why we're gonna win and it's the dumbest thing

dan aka dave

you two are nobody's you never say anything

Zues Hera your nothings ok you two Hera

You found this in a note drawer i'd like to know what they're thinking after my announcement and it's the one that I had instructed in as to how long It would take for him to get bigger and how big and by the way at 6 foot 4 he would be this size as you see on the couch he is shrinking and going up and down then people are very annoyed with him at competitions and he could not get to Lou Ferrigno size. It's in the water and he said you have to have purified water so he went nuts and he started selling it and everybody started to beat on him and they got bigger because of it but really the guy's a numb nuts still we said he's gonna be huge and it's gonna be walking around big and naturally and he said I did all this work and I couldn't get big later and he's just gonna be big and he started to carry on like a little baby. We said we gotta get you outta here you're a **** **** **** for real. And he really is and he supposedly figures it out but no these people are spoiled riding pieces of nothing. Supposed to be. Action is very bad they don't want him to be big.**** about it and the public hates them more now. Going to go after them and they're gonna go after them with gusto. I can't stand anymore I can't stand listening to idiots it's like listening to people who hardly know how to speak English and they're just repeating stuff and we have to get them. And there's obvious and that's why they're repeating it. and pronto. The reaction of the public was varied a lot of people think that's great he's gonna be big and will be motivated that's about 85 to 90% of the people in Charlotte County and most of them are stinkers. It's like this billboard of someone that has more money than them like John Remelard and he's up on one they say and they go after him all the time but they're not gonna be after a son they'll be trying to get big. So the max pumped our sun full of Prilosec and other stuff to wait until later to make him look small to our people and to not encourage the more lock. And it didn't work and it was horrible and they overdid it and it's poisoned and turns out to be these guys were encouraging it and forcing more and more to happen and they actually lost track of it to a degree. It's actually very true so that was going on and then they said we have to reverse it we're all teeny he's poor as hell doing absolutely nothing and we're saying we hate him and we can't stop saying **** ****. The threats are meaningless if he's a big guy threats would be more real and even with weapons and stuff like that because he could stop knives and guns to a degree. Started to talk about today and it was sounding much better and early on in about 3:00 PM they started to become very negative. And we see why they said why would he get to live and we don't and that was about 20% of the ones who are saying they liked it and then later on about 5:30 about 30% and so on until you got to about 40% and then said how do you like that to people they said you're an idiot and who cares for you your population is small in that world and your island's gonna be gone from you soon and you'll be gone from here you're sitting here digging around with us and forcing us to kill you. Who the hell wants to listen to that **** day in and day out how great you are for messing around with the inventor. You're not great for doing it you're a loser under any circumstances and that's what he's saying and we're saying it too. You're trying to turn him into a stone so nobody can get anything we're gonna break the **** out of you. And who cares about your cow cut and dream they said they started beating them up and taking them down and said now we have a great way of identifying you idiots. Yep and Terry she's been thinks it's funny terry C thinks it's funny and he was a huge **** to our son at castle he got fired but practically everyone who works there does funny and he was a huge **** to terry C thinks it's funny and he was a huge **** to our son terry C thinks it's funny and he was a huge **** to our son at castle He was fired but everybody who works there gets fired but really that guy was a **** **** he was an **** and mean to our son and he got reprimanded by the staff and they wrote him up to the state and he's not allowed to work in the industry. He was going around and scaring our son they said and feeling him full of fear and dread of her coming over and it kept on going on that they would say it no they filed the report he was abusive to other patients. Not allow them to take medicine properly in order to try and kick them out. And was following someone around and it wasn't son who it was our son who reported him and saw him in several places and reported him to castle and they said we have a few reports of that and they looked at it and they figured out that they're in trouble that this guy is a huge idiot. And then they started looking at the other ones the other people there. Found out that he's abusing them. So he's a winner and he got fired and a lot of people hate him but it's justified and tonight he's leaving and he is going into several movies and it's Clint Eastwood movies and he's threatening to shoot people here then he's going into a dirty Harry and then he's going to be high clean drifter and he will die over and over he gets shot whole bunch of times in the head and nobody respects him like it looks like. He ends up in the North Country and Garth has him suck **** ****. And it happens to trump too. And they are made to do it all over the place and they start getting upset after like the 50th time and they said what exactly are you doing after you do that and they say we shoot you right in the head. And they start saying wow this is terrible and some of them have evidence to say we want you to leave town if you don't leave town we're going to shoot you every day. So they decided not to and they get killed and they go after their people non stop finally it starts now and it's because Terry Cheesman has an ego issue and boy what a swell piece of crap he is and our son was in there threatening him because he had to it was damned annoying and it's going on now but right right now there's some huge news coming in and we're going to post

Thor Freya

Olymps

#youtube

0 notes

sanriolovinglittle · 3 months

Text

Steps for being a parent to enforce on kids EQUALLY:

I’ll add more later but so far:

I’ll praise them for good behavior or grades etc but scold or punish or whatever for inappropriate behavior or grades (unless it’s a C or something then I’ll just help but C’s are NOT the end of the world. Also if they’re autistic or have any other mental disability then the behavior is a different story)

If my children ever have trauma no one’s trauma will be invalidated compared to others if they’re both or all traumatized which I’ll try to prevent but shit happens like CSA and stuff

I’ll never doubt them when they come out and be with them on their gender/sexuality discovery journey

Taking devices and stuff away no matter the age as long as 10+ (cos that’s when they get devices that aren’t tv)

Taking devices away (tablets or tv) and no sleepovers/school clubs/events or going to friends houses for some amount of time depending on their crime for 11-12

For 13-15 id take away devices like phones computers tablets tv allat and also ground them from going out or calling anyone and stuff obvi and no school events or clubs or anything including sports and stuff like drama club plays etc it’s their fault the teams suffering without them (or maybe doing better? I don’t know)

For 16-17 the above and for 17 id lecture them but stronger than i obviously would with younger kids and also not let them see their gf/bf/lover

18+ ain’t my child their my adult offspring do whatever tf u want just don’t get me involved in your satanic arsonist protesting cult propaganda and whatnot (NO COS SLAY THATD BE MY FAVE CHILD)

Jk because I don’t support the idea of favoritism

Only keep things for the age (ex. 12+ games for 12+ even with youngest/middle/oldest kids)

Appropriate parental controls

At 14+ maybe 13, kids can go out to places near home and Friends houses and maybe farther with bikes as long as they tell me who what where why

At ages 11+ friends house without me there (maybe 10 if really trusted)

At ages 3+ play dates with me there

At ages 12+ sleepovers as long as I’ve met parents and know general shit about em

At age 9+ sleepovers if i know parents EXTREMELY well

Soda and lotsa sugar at 10 or 11+

A lil sugar (one cookie, a slice of cake, etc) at 5+

Little baby food cookies and stuff from 2 or 3-4

Caffeine at 13+

Curfew from 11-13: 5:00-6:00pm (maybe 6:30 depends on child maturity)

Curfew for 14-15: 8:00pm depending on the season and when it gets dark (if winter and/or it gets dark earlier than probably like 6-7 pm, 7:20 at latest)

Curfew for 16-late 16 or 17: 9pm or 9:30-10pm depending on who they’re with and where and when and allat stuff (prob not 17 but yk maturity)

Curfew to 17+: idc i PROBABLY trust them mk? But sometimes there’s THAT kid yk who i mean

R rated shows for 17 or maybe 16+

X rated shows for 18+ obvi

NR/unrated shows I’d have to watch first cos those can get weird/racy/etc

TV-14 for 13+ but maybe just 12 or 11 depending on the show

PG-13 for 12+ and maybe just 11 but like i said it depends on what it is

PG shows/movies for like 10 or 9+ but it depends on the show/movie

TV-Y7 is for like 6-7+

G is for everyone most often but sometimes it’s a lil like ‘wow okay this is a kids movie’ *cough incredibles 2 and shrek cough* (they’re pg but still damn some parts are like 🤨 *vine boom*)

Lights out and devices off and preparing to sleep for 10 and younger (which like i said b4 would be just tv..) is 8:15 pm, 8:30 at the latest FOR SURE

for 11-12 is 8:45-9:15 pm

for 13-14 it’s 9:30-10:15 pm (maybe an all nighter for hw or something if truly needed)

For 15-16 it’s 10:15 pm-12:00 am because sometimes you need to pull an all nighter for assignments

17+ idc just get sleep and don’t be on your screens too long mk??

When I expect my child to get a car is at the latest 17 but I understand shit happens

id mostly like to keep my baby off the road if they’re really allat terrible at driving and by the time they’re 17 if they’ont got a vehicle they can travel with they best not expect my flat ass to be pulling up

By 18 ima be kinda shocked but yeah you do you boo

I expect my kid to be tryna get a job by 15-16 especially 16 and DEFINITELY best have one by 17 cos car!!

If my kid is excited about getting a job at 14 they gonna work to find that shit but if they find one then you go guy/gal/nonbinary pal

If my kid doesn’t have a job anytime between 18-23 they can stay with me but by 24 they WILL be trying because they could at least work at McDonald’s and get better jobs from there with college and stuff

I absolutely will pay for college if I got the money but I’ll have a college fund that I save money in just in case but NOT their birthday money that’s shitty af i saw a story about someone where they said that happened their whole life and birthday money and Christmas money is for binge shopping at target and hot topic and shit mk??

THEY CAN TAKE THE SCHOOL BUS BY 10

They can take the public bus by 14 maybe 13 depends

They will take self defense classes at 9 cos you never know like tai quon do (idfk how to spell that shit help)

If they’re into ballet or sports or WHATEVER i WILL sign them up for whatever I can if j can afford it

Not too much tho cos I don’t want them burnt out or sad or overwhelmed or anything

I will love my future kids after all <3

If they ever wanna quit something I’ll talk to them and ask why and stuff and if it’s something silly like not feeling good enough or something I’ll give em a good pep talk and maybe let them take a break if it’s possible to go back after but if they truly want or need to quit then they got it

Cos i love em <3 (almost accidentally typed me 😀🫡 which isn’t true as much as id like it to be but I’ve been happier so 🥳)

I will NEVER invalidate their feelings and tell them they feel something else or something they feel is wrong cos imagine that that’s so shitty just imagine wait my mom doesn’t have to 😘

I’ll always make time for them and I’ll destroy all the oldest middle and youngest sibling traumas by treating everyone good and FAIR (take notes mom and other parents)

If they’re not happy and/or they think they’re depressed I’ll listen I’ll get em therapy antidepressants everything and if they ever attempt or sh or anything like that I’ll be there supporting em all the way

If they’re not cis or hetero or whatever I’ll support them

If they’re intersex I’ll support em

If they’re a surprise baby when I’m younger than I wanna be I’ll support em

If they get an addiction (alcohol, drug, etc) I’ll support em

If they treat their gf/wife/kids bad I’ll be very disappointed even if they’re an alcoholic or anything and I’ll comfort the family they hurt and stuff unlike my paternal grandparents did with my mom, they just sided with my father

#psa to parents #bad parenting #parenting #motherhood #parent goals #for parents #parents #important psa #this is a public service announcement #this has been a psa #listen up #serious

1 note · View note

starlingsrps · 3 months

Text

shine a light on the wreckage.

david can’t explain why he’s dreading meeting indigo and eliza’s baby. it’s just a baby - he’s seen one before. it’s his best friends - he’s seen them plenty. maybe that it’s being burdened with the knowledge that it’s been nine months and three weeks since they got home from europe and the baby is a week old. maybe it’s a day he has to be sober when he’s fighting through a hangover. whatever it is - dread.

it gets worse when he finally parks outside of indigo and eliza’s tidy bungalow in fremont to see a very familiar tiny brunette making her way out of the house. claire, claire from los angeles, eliza’s friend claire who hates him. claire, who he’d slept with four months ago and completely forgotten to call, is coming down the walk towards him, rifling through her purse. she stops and stares at him for a moment. “oh. hi.”

“hi.”

“you’re here.”

“i live here.” a thought strikes him. “are you-“

“no. just visiting.”

“okay.” good, he thinks. at least he has that going for him today. it’s the smallest of mercies but he’ll take it.

“you look,” she pauses, just long enough for david to feel truly and deeply rotten. “well, welcome home.”

they’re apparently pretending that los angeles never happened. fine. he can do that. he can pretend a lot of shit. he’s gotten great at pretending shit in the last nine months. he smiles, though in his current mood it probably looks more like teeth baring. “thanks.”

“i’ll be going now. nice to see you.”

she steps around him carefully and keeps moving down the sidewalk. he lets out a long, frustrated sigh to release some tension. he doesn’t need her to tell him he looks like shit. he owns a mirror. he’s had a hard time putting back on the weight he lost during the war and knows he could fix that if he consumed anything other than bourbon and the sandwiches his secretary forces on him. but then he’d have to stop drinking bourbon and be present and he’s not ready. maybe one day he’ll wake up and know but not today.

maybe tomorrow.

today he has a baby to meet and indigo is waiting for him at the open door.

“hey,” indigo claps him on the back and guides him into the house. “you okay?”

david knows exactly what he’s asking. “i’m okay.”

okay means he hasn’t had a drink yet today though he knows with almost comforting certainty that he will after this. he can almost feel it if he thinks about it, the way the whiskey slips into the empty spaces and makes him feel almost whole again. he’d give damn near anything to feel whole again.

eliza is sitting on the couch, holding a little lump wrapped in blue flannel. he’s become fond of her since they came home - he gets it now, just as indigo had said. she’s warm and funny and she doesn’t tolerate bullshit from either of them.

“hey there, red,” he says, dropping a kiss on top of her head. “what have you got there?”

she laughs and stands up to present the bundle to him. “i call it a baby.”

he’s is the smallest thing david thinks he’s ever seen. he’s also the newest person david has ever met. despite this, somehow, he looks like the eighty year old president of the bank david worked at in boise. he’s got downy hair like a baby duck and squints up at him through puffy eyelids. he doesn’t seem especially impressed and david can’t say he blames him. he’s not particularly impressive these days.

“he’s perfect,” david says and he means it. “congratulations, both of you. little guy got a name or did i talk you into david junior?”

eliza rolls her eyes. “joseph for my brother but we’re calling him joe.”

david nods - of course. joey campbell had been a naval pilot at pearl harbor and eliza talks about him with more affection than david has ever had for either of his very much alive brothers back in idaho. “but david junior for his middle, right?”

“no, just david.”

he looks at indigo who nods. “figured you deserved it.”

he really doesn’t but he can’t find the words to say so or even thank them. and then eliza js asking him if he wants to hold joe.

david doesn’t think he’s ever held a baby before and is about to say so before eliza is handing him a baby and he’s suddenly holding a baby. it’s like a football, but warm is all he can think.

“just,” she quickly adjusts his hand, moving it up to better support his head. “there. oh, he’s looking at you.”

david isn’t sure if joe is looking at him or if he’s just looking in his direction. either way, he still looks deeply unimpressed. maybe all babies look like that but he can’t help but take it a little personally. he’s neutral leaning towards absolutely not on the subject of having his own children - maybe before the war with the right girl if she ever came along but not now. all the same, he feels something almost like…jesus is this paternal? joe’s half of each of his best friends, a kid he’ll watch grow up and help raise in his way. he can take him fishing and sneak him a beer and answer weird questions he doesn’t want to ask his parents. he’ll have to start getting his shit together, if only for that.

joe makes a noise that’s indistinct from any other sound he’s made so far to david but eliza springs up from the couch to gather him up. “hungry,” she explains, cooing to him. “i’ll take him back. breastfeeding.”

“i won’t sneak a peek,” he jokes without much humor behind it. it feels like something he would have said in the foggy before, leering and silly for the sake of it.

“in your dreams, hatch,” she says with a wink before taking the baby back. she pauses by indigo, her hand passing over his shoulder for a split second. it’s the kind of casual, intimate gesture he’s seen between them a million times since they got home and they never fail to make him feel painfully lonely.

“so. fatherhood,” david says when it’s just him and indigo in the living room, sitting opposite each other across a coffee table. it’s so goddamn domestic that it almost makes david forget that they were literally in a war this time last year. “what’s that like?”

“it’s alright so far. easier and harder than i expected.” he shrugs, clasps his hands between his knees. “liza’s mom says he’s easy.”

“i have no idea what easy would be.”

“sleeps, eats. got a scream like an a air raid siren when he’s got a mind to it.”

the words air raid siren make david’s brain jump; it’s a new series of words for him to add to the list. he tenses and sees indigo register it.

“look,” he starts and david immediately recognizes the tone. he hasn’t heard indigo use it since the war but he knows it well enough. “we’re worried.”

the we makes him flinch. indigo is one thing. eliza has a week old baby and is worrying about him? now that makes him feel like shit when he already feels like he can see rock bottom.

“you don’t have to worry about me.”

“you can say that but i shouldn’t have to ask if you’re sober before you come over to see my kid.”

“you don’t think i know that?” david scoffs. “i am.”

“i know you wouldn’t,” indigo says. “for now.”

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“one of these days, you’re not going to know when to stop. i don’t want to get a call that something happened to you. you survived the fucking war and it’s like you don’t even care what happens to you now.”

they sit in silence. david grips the armrests of his chair as hard as he can because he’s afraid that if he lets go, he might punch indigo with his wife and kid down the hall.

finally, indigo sighs. “hatch, can you do me a favor?”

the nickname makes him bristle, though he knows it’s an olive branch. “what?”

“give me your gun.”

“are you fucking serious?”

“i’d feel better if you did is all.”

david feels a sick and slick rush of shame that he’s put indigo here. it’s followed by - well, he isn’t calling it disgust, he isn’t calling it embarrassment. it’s more like surprise. he doesn’t want to die. not actively. he’s not like harry donovan. he doesn’t want to remember and that’s different. he thought that was clear but maybe it only way to him. from the outside, maybe it does look like he’s killing himself by inches.

“i can’t. i threw it in the sound six months ago.” he clasps his hands and leans forward. “i never want to see another gun, never want to ride in another fucking airplane, never want to see anyone’s blood unless it’s mine.”

indigo just looks at him. david can’t read his face and looks at the rug instead.

“i don’t want to think about it ever again, indigo. i can’t. i don’t have to think so goddamn hard if i’ve had a drink.”

now that he’s started he can’t stop.

“i know. you think i don’t fucking know? i’m so hungover right now i can feel my soul trying to escape. i would never,” he looks at indigo now. “show up here drunk to meet your kid, not in a million years.”

“i’m sorry i asked,” he says and it sounds genuine. “we do worry. you know you have us. you always have me.”

david suddenly feels exhausted. “i know.”

“when you’re ready?” he asks, holding out his hand. again, david knows what he asking.

he’ll stop when he’s ready and he’ll ask for help before the bottom. for indigo, for eliza, for joe, and he guesses for himself. he takes indigo’s hand and shakes it. “when i’m ready. i’ll try to make it soon.”

#type: writing #verse: at the end of the world #s: david x indigo

1 note · View note

deyadee · 1 year

Text

Giving Up Would Be So Much Easier

Recently I’ve kind of let myself go. Not entirely but a lot compared to when I was working. I’m out of diet pills and the ones my parents use I’m not allowed to use because they’re too strong apparently. I’ve pretty much given up trying to make better health choices because even though for a millisecond I feel better and think I’m doing better the second I eat said food or go without and watch someone else eat it I feel like shit. The food tastes bad and my heart sinks seeing how some people can do minimal exercise and have a worse diet than me and still be thinner than me. I hate seeing myself naked. Why do I have to have two big mirrors in my room to constantly remind me of how other people see me? I’ve stopped using my acne wash for a while because it seemed like it stopped working and now my face is fucking covered. My shampoo and conditioner isn’t fucking working anymore and it just makes my hair feel like straw and it makes me look like I haven’t showered in a month when I fucking showered yesterday. My mom and dad keep telling me about housekeeping jobs around us and I know I don’t want to go back if it’s going to be as shitty and extremely nit-picky as my last job. Stressed if I’m working, stressed if I’m not. I’m running out of money. Well I guess not, because I have around $640. Which is more than usual. But I have a limit to not spend anything once I hit $500. I don’t know what I want to do with my life. I’m just lonely but I’ve realized more than my previous reasons why I at least won’t be getting a partner for the next ten years maybe. I don’t have a job. I can’t drive. I barely go out. I don’t pay or do my own taxes. I have damn near any practical skills. I have no talent. I don’t have my life figured out and I don’t know what to do with my life. I don’t dress well. I look old. I have no ambition. I can’t find someone that’s like me, or someone who can fulfill all of the normal human shit and actually want to be with me.

I just feel like giving up on my life would be so much easier. I hate hating myself over what I eat or being miserable when I eat. I hate feeling like a burden. I hate feeling like I need to win everyone’s approval when I know damn well I’ll never win anyone’s. I hate being self-conscious about every tiny thing. I hate not being able to talk to people, or feeling like I need to talk to them. I hate not being able to take any bit of criticism or negativity. I hate feeling like a loser. I hate hating my own hobbies and feeling ashamed for everything I love. I hate that I cry so fucking ugly. I hate that I can’t accept myself in any way. I hate my appearance and how I never can reach the level I want because I’m fucking fat and ugly. I hate not being able to show weakness. I hate not being respected. I hate being seen as stupid. I hate that any of my criticism isn’t taken seriously, or it’s not good enough, or that I hate my own criticism and think it’s never good or worthwhile. I hate being so desperate and feeling like I need love. I hate saying that I have no friends. I hate feeling ashamed for every part of my body. I hate envying others so much that I wish they would suffer. I hate being terrified of the most stupid things. I hate being so naive and stupid and being taken advantage of. I hate how I’m 20 but I feel like I’m 12 or 30. I hate being seen as 12 or 30. I hate overthinking everything. I hate how I have to come crying to this blog because I feel like I can’t talk about any of this to anyone. I hate constantly hiding my feelings. I hate feeling like I’m not justified in feeling certain ways. I hate how I’m a narcissist. I hate living up to expectations that are bare fucking minimum. I hate how I have no original fucking opinions. I hate my past. I hate how I was a bully for two grades. I hate how I treated so many people that I’ll never have the guts to apologize to. I hate how every main friend or friend group I had growing up took advantage of me and always stabbed me in the back. I hate how I blame my problems on the past and not seeing that I am and was as much of a shithead as anyone else. I hate having to question whether people actually treated me like shit or it’s all secretly my fault. I hate how I feel every problem in my life spawned from when I was a kid and everyone called me weird or fat and made fun of me. I hate that I still look back at those memories and think it’s my fault they happened.

I’m inferior to everyone in every way, I’m a worse version of anyone else.

But everything would feel so much better if I could just let go. Just accept who I am or ignore it. That’s how plenty of shitheads and normal people live their lives. I could eat what I want. I could be happy. I could feel proud of myself and not blame myself for everything that’s ever happened.

0 notes

beels-burger-babe · 3 years

Text

Of Jealousy and Friendship - Pt. 1

Topic number 2 won in the vote to be written next! So without further-a-do, let’s get going!...This ended up being a two part thing. Oh Well. Here’s part one. - B GN! MC Summary: MC makes a lower demon friend who may secretly be hoping for something more than friendship. The Demon Bros are not about to let this happen. Part Two: Here, Epilogue: Here It all started in magical potions. When you first arrived, the course wasn’t so bad since you took it with Beelzebub. The two of you always partnered up; the hour would consist of you jokingly scolding Beel for trying to eat ingredients and making light hearted jokes with one another whenever the teacher turned their back. But once the second semester started, Beel was moved out of the course as it had gotten too expensive to keep him in a class where most of the subject matter was edible. Which left you alone and bored in the classroom as the teacher went on and on about Mandrake roots and what they can be used for. You let out a heavy sigh and plopped your forehead onto the desk. A soft snort came from beside you. You glanced over to see a demon with his feet propped up on his desk staring right back at you out of the corner of his dark green eyes. He smiled at you with a tilt of his head. “The lectures are a total snooze fest right? I joined this class cause I thought we’d be making potions and causing stuff to explode. Not sitting here twisting our thumbs all day.”

You bit back a laugh as you worried glanced over at the professor, who was none-the-wiser to the little conversation the two of you were sharing. You looked back over to the demon. His dark skin caused those hauntingly green eyes of his pop out at all who met his gaze, with carefully trimmed and styled black curls sitting stylishly on the top of his head. There was a playful and mischievous energy to him that reminded you of Belphie, Asmo and Mammon. “Unfortunately suffering through this section of class is mandatory to be allowed to mess around with the fun stuff.” The demon groaned and threw his head back. “Urgh, that’s so unfair. What’s the worst that can happen? The potion explodes and kills us? Newsflash teach, we’re already dead.” You couldn’t help the laugh that slipped out at that one. “Well actually the worse that could happen, for you at least as I am a very mortal human, is that you’d suffer the consequences from one of the potions. Anything from shrinking to de-aging to charms, all kinds of things. I’ve seen the effects of a potion gone wrong a number of times during my time down here. Trust me; you don’t want to be on the receiving end.” He looked over at you with an analytical eye as the corners of his lips tilted upwards. “So you’re the human that everyone’s talking about.” He trailed off, and glanced over at the teacher to make sure they weren’t looking before stretching out his hand towards you. “I’m Cane. You know despite being the talk of RAD, I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone mention your name?” You took his hand into your own and lightly shook it. “I’m MC.”

Cane leaned back into his chair, “It’s a pleasure to finally put a name and face to that glowing reputation of yours, MC. I see your pretty good at this potions thing, and I hear that you’re a lot of fun. How about you meet me downtown for supper later and we can study and get to know each other a little better?” Your initial instinct was to agree, but then you paused as you thought of the brothers. “I don’t know. I don’t think that Lucifer or the others would like it much if I went out on my own.” The demon huffed and light heartedly rolled his eyes. “You won’t be alone, you’ll be with me. I may not be as powerful as them, but I’m still a pretty good fighter.” He teasingly placed a gentle punch onto your shoulder, “Besides, it’s not like they’re boss of you. Are you really going to let a bunch of snobby Lords keep you from making the best of your time in the Devildom?” That last remark hit a nerve. If there was one thing that had spread quite quickly about you around RAD, it was that you were known for being a little reckless, prideful, and never being able to back down from a challenge, and boy did that statement have you itching to prove him wrong. You smiled, a sharp dangerous smile, at Cane. “I’ll go. And we’re going to do so much more than just go to a lame restaurant and study. You want to have fun and take risks? We’ll have fun and take risks. Whatever you want to do...to a degree,” you added in quickly remembering that you were talking to a demon and if you didn’t implement any boundaries there was no telling what you’d get yourself into, “I’m in.” Cane’s eyes sparkled as his smile widened. “Damn. I guess it’s true that you’re a bit of dare devil. Alright, you’re on. Meet me at Hell’s Kitchen a 4pm. We’ll study and hit the books as promised, but afterwards...Get ready for the night of your life.” ***

The brothers were concerned. You had rushed into the House of Lamentation after school and sprinted to your room, changed out of your uniform and promptly shouted that you were “going out” before taking off before any of them could complain. Mammon had tried to argue that someone should follow you, and while that wasn’t a terrible idea, Lucifer wanted to give you the question of the doubt. Worst case scenario, you come back home a little scratched up and learn your lesson about taking off into the dangers of the Devildom. At least that’s what he had thought when you had initially left. It was now bordering midnight, and you had yet to return home. So yeah, the brothers were very concerned. Mammon was pacing and ranting about how this all could’ve been avoided if they had only listened to him for once. Leviathan was trying to distract himself with his game, but everyone could see the worried glances he kept throwing to the entrance and clock as the minutes ticked by. Satan sat near where Mammon and would occasionally scold or correct him, and sometimes even throw in his own ideas on what could be done while he thumbed through a book on location spells. Asmodeus was strangely quiet, sitting near the fire by himself with arms wrapped around his torso as he stared into the flames. He would occasionally move a hand to wipe at his face before it went right back to hugging himself. Beelzebub had lost his appetite. He sat next to Belphie, taking comfort in his twin’s presence, while Belphegor pretended to be unbothered and asleep, even though his mind was racing with the many stupid situations you could’ve gotten yourself into. And Lucifer...He just sat in a door near the entryway, his eyes fixed on the entrance as he silently waited. Finally, just as the clock stroke midnight, they could hear your recognizable laugh from behind the door. “Oh my god! That was incredible! I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun in life!” Leviathan stiffened at the statement, his hands gripping tighter onto his game. “What did I tell you? I promised you the night of your life, and I sure as Diavolo always make sure to deliver,” everyone froze at the sound of the teasing male voice. “Though I didn’t expect the Seven Lords’ precious human to be a complete bad ass. You were amazing out there.” Leviathan mumbled something before getting up and leaving the room. Mammon growled lowly and looked at the others, “Anyone know who the hell that is?” Asmo finally stood, wiping at his face as he did, and began to stride towards the door, “Why don’t we find out?” Without waiting for a response, Asmodeus swung the door open and pulled on a bright smile as he reached out and wrapped an arm around you. “MC, darling, you didn’t tell me you were bringing over guests! Don’t tell me you’re trying to have fun without me?” You blinked up at the Asmo before smiling softly at his tactics. “Oh, hey Asmo! I didn’t expect you to be up. Cane here was just dropping me off.” The demon in question didn’t even so much as stiffen as Asmodeus’s dangerous stare shifted over to him. Instead Cane stood there, relaxed, with a shit-eating grin on his face. Asmodeus raised an eyebrow at him and allowed a bit of his demonic aura to exude around him. “Oh really? At this time of night? Makes a demon wonder what kind of mischief the two of you had gotten up to,” while maintaining eye contact with Cane, Asmo rested his chin against your shoulder. “You know dear, if you wanted “fun” that badly all you had to do was ask. I assure you I could’ve shown you a much better time.” He purred and softly kissed your shoulder. You shivered, missing the way Asmo stiffened as he noticed something, and swatted at the Avatar of Lust as you moved away from him. “Down Asmo. It’s nothing like that. Cane’s in my magical potions class. We went out to study together and decided to hit a couple clubs while we were out. No biggy.” “If it’s ‘no biggy’ then why were you out all night without giving us any kind of warning of where you were going or how long you’d be out?” Everyone whirled around as Lucifer stood in the doorway with a frown etched on his face and his arms crossed. He took a step closer to you before freezing mid-step, his nose twitching. His eyes flared red as they fell onto Cane. The lower demon tensed and curled his hands into fists, but seemed to be refusing to back down. Lucifer snarled, “What exactly was it that you said the two of you were up to tonight?” You frowned and stepped between Lucifer and your new friend. “Hey! Stop it! He didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re implying. And I wasn’t aware that I needed permission for every single thing that I do!” You snapped poking his chest as you moved into his space. “So excuse me for wanting to go out and enjoy myself for once!” Whatever fear Cane had been showing, quickly slipped away at seeing you stand your ground against the mighty first born. “Yeah. What they said.” Lucifer growled and caught your hand into his own, pulling you close and leaning in, “You’d be wise to remember that you are in the Devildom and surrounded by beings that have no where near as good intentions as you’d assume. Being so reckless and naïve down here could get you killed again, I thought you had learned that.” His tone was cold and unapologetic as he practically spat the words in your face. You glared at Lucifer as you yanked your hand out of his grasp. There was so many things you wanted to say to him, but none of them would be right to say in front of an audience. You huffed and turned to face Cane. “I am so sorry about those two. Thanks again for tonight and bringing me home. I’ll see you tomorrow in class, okay?” Cane gave you a side smile as he scratched the back of his neck. “It’s nothing. I had a great time hanging out with you. Hopefully we can do again...under better circumstances. Goodnight MC.” He took a step towards you and pulled you into a hug. You smiled, wondering how Lucifer and Asmo could be stirring up such a fuss about a guy who had been nothing but kind to you, and gently hugged him back. What you couldn’t see, was Cane making direct eye contact with the two other demons, as one of his wrists gently brushed up and down you back and he very lightly nuzzled, so lightly that you could just barely feel it, his face against your neck. “Hey, what’s takin’ everyone so- WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!” Mammon stormed forward and yanked you out of the demon’s embrace, already changing into his demon form. “Who the hell do you think you are scenting our human, huh?!” He lifted Cane off the ground by the collar of his shirt, causing the lower demon growl as he scratched at Mammon’s hands. You yanked on Mammon’s jacket and arms and tried to get him to back off. “Woah! Mammon, relax! It was just a hug!” “No it wasn’t,” Satan grumbled as he and the rest of the brothers (excluding Leviathan who was now sulking in his room) stood in the door way. “The fact that you don’t know that makes this even worst. But this isn’t a conversation we should be having out here.” Beel stared down at the demon with a fierce glare. “You should leave while you’re still able. And if you know what’s best for you, you’ll stay away from MC.” “Wha- Beel! Cut that out!” Cane took a step backwards, fear beginning to spill into his expression as he finally realizes just how out-powered and out-numbered he is. Still, he was stubborn pain in the ass; it was part of the reason he had been so drawn to you in the first place as he related to your reckless habits. He held Beelzebub’s glare and returned it with one of his own. “I think that MC can choose for themself who they do and do not hang out with, thanks. They already said they wanted to see me tomorrow so they will. We’re friends after all. And classmates,” his grin sharpened as he continued. “I do have to thank you, Lord Beelzebub, for that opening in magical potions by the way. Never would’ve got in if you hadn’t been kicked out.” Before he could say anymore, he was met with a punch in the face. Belphegore lazily shook out his hand and his looked at Cane with an unbothered expression. “I believe we told you to leave. Now get. The. Fuck. Out.” Cane scoffed and turned to you once more. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Dare Devil.” You would’ve snorted at the nickname, but you were to distracted from the brother’s behavior. “Yeah. I’ll see you tomorrow. Get home safe, Cane.” With another nod, the demon left; leaving you alone with six of the seven brothers bubbling with jealousy, anger, and concern.

1K notes · View notes

mysticalrambling · 3 years

Text

Ending It All Part 2 (C.E)

A/N: Here you go guys. Much awaited part 2 is here. I am so in love with this particular fan fiction and hope you guys like it. If you want me to write any blurbs related to this series, do let me know.I am open to requests.

._._._._._.

Part 1

Chris Evans Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Chris regrets divorcing you and he tries to mend the relationship. However, you have already moved on with Tom Hiddleston and are quite happy. He has to just stand back while you and your children become closer to Tom and it is all his fault.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

._._._._._.

“Coming in?” Chris turned his face towards you with a questioning look in his eyes.

“No, I have some work. Just wanted to drop the kids off myself.” Your ex husband’s house was on your way so you just saved him a trip.

“Not even for coffee, darling?”

“Sorry but I will have to say no.” You still got flustered when he called you with nicknames. You had once decided to tell him to stop calling you with all these terms of endearment but you couldn’t build up the courage to do it.

It has been over a year since your divorce and the moment you think you are over him, he is right there to bring those feelings back. You were a mess when he moved out and you had to see him on the weekends for the kids. It looked like you were drowning and you couldn’t come up for fresh air. It was exhausting but after several months, it didn’t hurt that much. It didn’t feel like your heart was tearing into shreds. You felt numb but that was better than feeling like your heart was being ripped out of your chest.

“That’s fine. See you Sunday?”

These were the only few sentences that were spoken between the two of you since the divorce. This was your new normal and you were starting to adjust to it. “Yeah, bye.”

“Who wants pancakes?” Sighing, he turned around and asked in a fake, cheerful voice. He didn’t get to be disappointed. These were the the seeds that he sow and he had to reap the results.

“I do.” A collective chorus came from the living room as they had already started to play with Dodger. Dodger was adopted from a shelter home about two weeks into the divorce. Loneliness was a destructive force and Chris hadn’t come to that realization until he was sitting in his home at eight, all alone. No laughter, no mess, no companionship. He went out that day and got a new dog. The apartment was eating him alive because it was a reminder of his ‘new life’. More like his ruined life.

“Daddy, you goin’ to be there for my match?” Jace looked up at his father and hoped that he wasn’t going to say no. There have been too many occasions this past year where he was not there for his children like Easter or Mia’s first day of school. He was either too busy with his career or he couldn’t bear to be with his family knowing that he wouldn’t be going home with them. He wasn’t strong enough to handle that truth.

“I’ll be there but I have work afterwards so I can only be there for half time.” The apologetic tone was all too familiar to the kids now so they just stayed quiet.

Chris noticed their disappointed look and continued, “When I get back, we’ll go to Disneyland for the whole weekend.”

“Mommy and Tommy will be going as well?”

Stopping in between making the pancakes, he asked with a venom laced tone, “Tommy who, Jace?”

“Mommy’s new friend. We like him.” Your son continued petting the dog without realizing the damage he is doing to his father. “New friend” was always a code for boyfriend and Chris didn’t know what to do with that information.

He knew that you had gone on a few dates with Tom Hiddleston because of the paparazzi. But he didn’t know that you both were serious. Your kids knew about him so it was pretty damn serious.

“He won’t be going with us.” Speaking with finality, he resumed cooking. You were his and that was not going to change. He knew he was being unfair but when it came to you, he lost all rationality.

“But he is our new dad.” Mia whined from her place and Chris just looked at her with a wounded look. His babygirl was putting someone else in his place.

His voice boomed throughout the house and both the kids looked at him with tears in their widened eyes, “I’m your only dad. Don’t you ever say that.”

“‘m sorry, daddy. Didn’t mean to make you mad.” Her chin wobbled and Chris was quick to realize his mistake. It was not your children’s fault. It was not your fault. It was his fault.

“Not your fault, baby. But you only have one daddy and that’s me.” Kissing her forehead, he wiped the single tear that managed to escape her blue eyes.

“’kay.” The kids got distracted again but Chris did not forget. He was still seething from the inside because Tom may have taken you away from him but he damn well couldn’t take his children.

They all get ice cream afterwards and the kids fall asleep in their rooms that Chris built from scratch. It was a lengthy process because he just kept remembering the times when he decorated their nursery with you. Such a beautiful memory and he was ruining it. The guilt ate him up inside when he realized that he may not get to ever decorate a nursery for your children again. He may not get to expand his family with you again. Again, it was his fault.

“Sorry, ‘m late. Work was hectic today.” Everything was so busy today because your boss signed up a new contract and he has been impossible to work with. You just wanted to go home and sleep for the whole week.

“It’s okay. They’re sleepin’ upstairs. Listen, we need to talk.” He was too consumed by anger and hurt to notice that you were too exhausted for everything.

“Go on.” You urged him, figuring that he might say that he won’t be able to make it to your son’s match. This was what most of your conversations were based on; him saying that he is too busy to be present at occasions related to your children.

“Why are my children referring to your boyfriend as dad?” He nothing but spat that sentence.

“I- I didn’t know about any of this. I’ll talk to them.” Stuttering, you tried to mediate the situation but nothing seemed to get through to him at the moment.

“No need. I already did that but for next time, keep your boyfriends away from my children.”

“Our children and I don’t let anyone near my children. We are serious.” You were offended by his crude tone and you weren’t just going to let him walk all over you.

“You can’t be serious with him. As a matter of fact, you can’t be serious with anyone.” Your ex husband declared it like it was a law. He didn’t know how to react to what you said. All the pain was converted into anger because that was his current form of expression.

“Are you serious?” This was all too much for you to handle. How could he say that?

“Yes. You only belong with me. I regret it so much (Y/N).” Chris’s expressions told you where he was going.

“Oh, stop. You can’t just do that. Can’t come bargin’ in my life and mess it all up again. I am happy.”

Chris reached out his hand but you took a step back. He was not allowed to touch you anymore. “I was mistaken. My career is not above you, darlin’. Never was.”

“You made me feel worthless. You made me feel as if I was the reason our marriage ended. Won’t allow myself to get sucked back into this relationship.”

“I know I broke our family. I tore us apart and didn’t even apologize for it properly. I’m so fucking sorry, baby.” There was a stream of tears running down his face and you wanted to wipe them away but you resisted.

There were still times when you wished that you were still happily married to Chris. That you still had your perfect, little family. The divorce made you feel worthless and lonely. There were times when you couldn’t even look at your children because they were the exact replica of your ex husband. You once adored the fact that they were his carbon copy. However, now you couldn’t help but get angry. How could he leave little pieces of himself behind and think that you could move on with your life.

It was all because you were with another man. He never said all these things when you were alone and you suffered from depression. There were days when you couldn’t get out of bed to get your kids ready for school. You knew that Jace had informed him because he was really worried about you and he always shared his troubling thoughts with Chris. But he didn’t do anything about it. He stayed quiet and you had to pull all the pieces back together yourself. It was all tape and glue. Your ex husband didn’t get to come back and dismantle your progress. You wouldn’t let him.

“You can’t do this. Can’t come back. I am with Tom now so stop trying to fix things that you already broke.” Your face was red with anger and all the energy was drained out of your body.

“Please, just give me a chance.”

“No!” You couldn’t choose Chris again. You had to choose yourself. You chose to think about your needs and your feelings for the first time in seven years. That’s why you agreed to go on a date with Tom. He surpassed your expectations the first time and you knew that he could be your partner. No one could compare to Chris but Tom made his own place in your heart and you were glad about it. You continued on, “Tom is good for me so please don’t ruin my happiness again.”

Tom was great. He was good with the kids and he was slowly becoming an integral part of your life. You still missed Chris because that man was the love of your life for seven years and those feelings can’t just disappear with a single piece of paper. You were glad to have Tom in your life and you knew that as time would pass, you will love him with your whole heart. However, a small part of you would never forget Chris and would always wonder about the what ifs. What if you were still together? What if you had more children? What it you got to grow old together? Broken dreams are what hurts the most.

“I don’t want to be a cause of that. Not again. But I want to make things right.” He unintentionally came closer to you, “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. Sorry I wasn’t there for our kids. Sorry that I broke you, baby.”

“A sorry doesn’t fix anything.” His chest was hallowing from inside out but he didn’t want to back down. Not now. Not ever.

“Just answer one question for me. Are you truly happy?” A tremble was prominent in his voice but you tried to ignore it.

“I-I am. For a long time, I wasn’t but I am now.” You spoke with such conviction that he knew you were over him.

You would always love Chris but now it was time for you to move on with your life. It was time to leave the past and delve into the future. Chris would always own a piece of your heart but you are going to allow Tom to have an opportunity as well. You will open your heart again to love. You were sure now.

“Okay. I will get the kids for you.” He backed off like he promised he would. You knew at that moment that it was all over.

Watching you drive away with his kids was heart breaking for him and he just watched helplessly. Chris still wanted to cry, beg and apologize. He wanted you to take him back but it was all his fault. He ruined you once, he couldn’t do it again. He couldn’t interrupt your new life. It doesn’t all revolve around him but he was okay to remain on the sidelines while you enjoy your life. He will be there for you if you needed him.

You are happy and that should be enough for him but he wants to be selfish again. He wants to fight for you but it’s all too late. You were with someone else. He lost his chance.

Wednesday rolled in pretty quickly and Chris dreaded going to the match. You were going to be there with your new boyfriend but he didn’t want to miss his son’s game. He could only be there till half time already so it wouldn’t be that awkward.

“I just wanted to be here for Jace. Won’t cause any problems.” Chris took a seat beside Mia when he saw you shifting uncomfortably. The seat that should have belonged to him was currently being occupied by your boyfriend but Chris just bottled up all his feelings. It was not right to still think of you as his wife.

“It’s okay. Let’s just forget about everything.” You wanted to move on and did not want anything to hold you back.

“Okay. Mia, you want Kit Kat?” Offering her a large chocolate bar, he started talking with his daughter so that he could distract himself from you and Tom.

“What is happening, love?” Tom questioned when he saw that his former co-star did not even glance at him properly.

Chris and Tom were not the best of buds but they were still good acquaintances. He thought that dating you wouldn’t be a problem because Scarlett had informed him that Chris was the one who asked for divorce. However, this situation made him realize that Chris was jealous. He still had feelings for you and Tom didn’t know how to react to that.

“Nothing of importance. Let’s just focus on my baby boy.” Saying that, you cheered for Jace as he made his first goal. He was an exceptional player like his father and you knew that he would pursue football as his career. Jace was really passionate about football. If Chris didn’t become an actor then he would have definitely tried out for football.

There were times when he used to take you to the park so you would play with him. It was your thing. Maybe he had replaced you with someone by now as well but what you didn’t know was that Chris had stopped playing football altogether. Like many things in his life, it reminded him of you and it was just too much to bear.

“You are doing great, buddy.”Jace immediately asked Chris to pick him up as you gave him his Captain America water bottle. It was half time and Chris had to leave for shooting. He was getting late but he couldn’t bring himself to leave.

“Thank you, mommy. Ollie doesn’t listen to me that much so coach is angry at him.” Babbling on, he rested his head on his father’s shoulder.

“Okay, buddy. I have to leave now but I will call you when your game is finished.”

“Won’t be going with us to Chick-fil-A?”

“Uhh-” He cluelessly glanced at you because he didn’t know what his son was talking about.

“I wanted to give him a treat after the match.” Tom butted into the conversation to prove that he was a part of the kid’s lives as well.

Chris could have actually made it to the restaurant because he would be free in an hour tops. However, he decided against it. He had to take a step back for you. Of course, he would be there for his children but Tom should be given a fair chance as well.

“I won’t be able to make it buddy. You enjoy with Mommy and Tom. I’ll take you and Mia to Disneyland this weekend as I promised.”

“Okay, daddy. Love you.”

“Love you too, baby.” Giving him to you, he turned to leave. It was hard for him to do this but it had to be done. Chris wiped his eyes discreetly as he saw you all laughing together. This was his fault and he would have to bear the consequences.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._._.

A/N: This story had me in tears from the very start. I cried when I was writing it. Again, I am open to blurbs for this series and other requests. Tell me if you want to be added to my tag list.

Tag list: @peculiarpenman, @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile, @iguessweallcrazyithinktho, @jessyballet, @caanyoonmoon, @coldmuffinpartycloud, @marvelfansworld, @agnesk, @lauracontisstuff, @deepintothenature, @xcaptain-winterx, @nostxlgia18, @sophiaedits , @luckyladycreator2, @mrspeacem1nusone

Like, comment and reblog.

P.S. If you want blurbs and epilogue related to this series, please send in requests. I will need some ideas.

._._._._._.

629 notes · View notes

raggaraddy · 3 years

Note

Tae’s first time with a virgin if your still taking requests?

Virgin

A/n: Thank you for the request! It was fun to write. Enjoy xx 💜💜💜

Trigger warning: Smut, first time, oral, D/s themes, examples of a bad D/s dynamic, dirty talk, mild spanking.

Taehyung

Dom!Taehyung

You pull out your phone and type the message. Over and over. Deleting it and re-writing it about 30 times.

Until you see the typing bubble pop up on Taehyung's side.

If you have something to say, get it out. He writes.

Damn. You really should have written this on paper first. But too late now.

You had spoken with Taehyung for months and had met him in person for the first time last week. With clever wording, so far you'd gotten around telling him your secret. But you know you have to tell him before your first play session tonight. You don't know if a guy can tell or not, but if he can it's going to be embarrassing if he finds out that way.

It's not like you haven't done things before, you were probably more experienced than most when it came to other areas. You've played with other kinky people before, hooked up with girl friends and guy friends, and you've had a full D/s relationship that was filled with BDSM. It's just that you'd never done that one thing.

Really, you don't even know why you held onto it for so long. At first, you were trying to be smart and not give it away too quickly or easily, but then it almost became something you had a sense of pride in and tried to protect. But Taehyung was special. Someone you felt connected to. And you know, it's time to get it over with. Both telling him and the act itself. You have to simply rip the bandaid off and tell him. He shouldn't be mad. You didn't exactly lie about anything.

Its just about tonght :)

Please don't be mad. I ddnt know how to say it before

But you should probably knwo I'm a virgin

Three separate messages. Typed so quickly they're riddled with spelling and grammar errors. The words are not nearly as well prepared as you had wanted. But at least it was done.

The read symbol appears, and then nothing. Staring at your phone for what feels like 5 minutes, there is no reply. You're running over a dozen new messages, typing them in your head first. Wanting to explain that you didn't lie and that everything you told him, you really had done.

Typing the first word, his answer finally comes through. Only 3 words that make you relieved but also anxious from their conciseness.

See you tonight.

After spending hours getting ready, it was finally time to meet him. You came to his house and were perfectly on time. Although, you had a moment of concern thinking you were at the wrong address. When Taehyung said he had a big apartment you hadn't expected it to be a 2 story, riverside, penthouse in the middle of the city. He never wanted to tell you anything about his job, and now you were a little worried he's someone famous or that he runs a drug cartel or something.

Feeling a bit out of place and with the upcoming plans looming ahead of you, you start the night filled with nerves. However, Taehyung's confident demeanour as well as some casual conversation and a few drinks, eventually help you start to relax. And soon you're even beginning to get a little impatient.

A mix of anticipation of what is to come, steadily becoming tipsy, and having not touched yourself for a week, your mind is already running with all manner of dirty thoughts. But unfortunately, you're far too shy to initiate anything so you are entirely dependant on Taehyung's schedule. And he is taking it slow.

Normally, he would have a girl naked and on her knees by this time, but you were special to him, also. And especially now knowing that you're a virgin, he is determined to make the night last. Sat on the couch with him, there are small touches here and there, provocative topics of conversation, and his commanding tone of voice that makes you melt. Your excitement peaking as he passionately kisses you, pulling you onto his lap.

Nearing 2 hours of talking and teasing, Taehyung finally starts the main event. Taking you with him into the most stunning playroom you have ever witnessed. An industrial meets a minimalistic-modern theme. A beautiful king four-poster bed, with an x-frame top, a wooden headboard, and a white canopy. Making you think that this must be where princesses who liked to get spanked come to play.

Never parting his lips from yours, slowly and gently Taehyung undresses you. His delicate removal of your clothes and his tender kisses are in explicit contrast to the sharp, rough tugs on your hair that he uses to move you around. The combination making your skin burn with lust.

Sitting you in the middle of the bed, he remains fully clothed. A prickle of excited nerves shivering up your body. You're beyond needy and ready. Your hands starting to pull at his shirt, unable to refrain yourself any longer.

"Please," you whine. As his mouth comes off yours, you pull him into you a little firmer.

"What do you want?" Taehyung asks. His voice coming out deep and lowly spoken.

"I want," you gulp trying to think of what to say. Your face heating. "you?"

"That wasn't convincing." He moves forward, his hand pressing to your chest, pushing you flat onto the bed. "I asked you," Leaning over, his mouth comes to your breast, sucking your nipple. Your gasps turning to moans as he bites down before repeating himself. "What do you want?"

"Whatever you want, Sir." Your hands cling into the blankets trying to stop yourself from digging them into his perfect dark hair instead.

Looking up he smirks. "Mmm, when you call me that," he grabs your wrist, bringing it to his crotch. Pressing your open palm to the hard bulge straining in his pants. "it really turns me on."

You whine as he pulls your hand away. You'd been fantasizing for weeks about what he must feel like and now you were so close to having what you dreamt of.

"Don't worry about me, Y/n. I'm going to get what I want. But what I want right now," his hand suddenly cups your pussy making you gasp, "is for you- my horny, wet, little virgin," instinctually you spread your legs wider and his middle finger presses deeper, slipping between your folds making you wail. "to tell me what you want."

"Anything," You're trying to make yourself say more, but your mind is swimming and you're glowing with embarrassment thinking about actually saying what you want him to do to you. His piercing stare, his beauty, his hard cock, you're aching to have him. He knows what you want. It's not fair for him to make you ask for it.

"Y/n," your eyes lift to his face upon hearing his rumbling voice call your name. "Have I given you the impression that I tell you to do something so I can hear my own voice?"

Your eyes get big as you chew your lip, shaking your head. Even his light scolding is turning you on.

"Good. Then I'll ask you one last time, and if you make me ask you again, I'm going to put your panties back on, and they won't be coming off again tonight." he purrs making you whimper at his threat. "I was going to accept your little two-word answer, but now you've made me ask you multiple times, so you'll tell me in detail. What do you want me to do to you, little girl?"

You feel like curling under the blanket from shame, but you start to push the answer out. "I want... you... to," you swallow looking down, "fuck me." You can see his eyebrow raise, telling you to go on and give him the specifics like he asked. "I want to have you inside me, Sir. I want," you're thinking of the next words while feeling near to tears from discomfort. Unable to even glance at his face. "I want you to be the first man to fuck me." It's nearly inaudible by the end of the sentence, but you get it out. Hoping it's enough to make him happy.

Finally building the courage to look up, Taehyung is brimming with satisfaction and hunger. Looking ready to devour you.

His fingers gently hold your chin, lifting your head a little higher to meet him as he hovers over you. "Thank you, Y/n." He says softly, making your stomach swarm with butterflies. His warm reaction has you even more confident in your choice. "Put your arms above your head, and interlock your fingers." He instructs hushedly.

Too eager to follow his order your arms stretch above you, knocking into the headboard making your wrists bend. Holding your hips, Taehyung yanks you down the bed giving you the space to hold your arms out straight.

Pressing down on your wrists his face softly becomes more serious "You're not going to move your hands at all until I say. Not in any direction. Do you understand?"

With a little smile, you nod. Already having fun. "Yes, Sir."

"Good girl," he praises making you blush for what is surely the 100th time tonight.

He releases your hands and you push them down making sure to follow his order.

Slowly Taehyung shifts down your body, his fingertips lightly tracing down your arms and your sides, making you flinch and squirm. Fighting through being ticklish to hold still and keep your position.

Setting between your legs he continues to play with you. Your eyes clenching shut as his touch runs down your neck, your chest and stomach, gripping your thighs, tracing your lips. His fingers softly pinching your nipples producing a moan, your hips bucking up as your breathing deepens.

Moving lower still, Taehyung pushes your thighs wider. Lifting one of your legs he has you bend it upright, kissing from your knee down your thigh. Trailing lower until his lips touch your core making you bite your lip to stop from crying out. Needing to bite back even more vocal cries as his tongue flicks out, kneading against your clit. Starting to suck and lick you. Your legs spreading further on their own accord. Quickly losing your senses to pleasure.

His nearly painful grip on your hips jerks you down, pulling you into his tongue as it dives inside you making you cry out. Instinctually, your hands want to cling onto him and lift an inch from the mattress. Quick realization making you panic and slam them back flat.

Soon you're fussing, calling out his name as the flat of his tongue strokes you, eating you like a man starved. His long fingers deep inside you, massaging you in the same insisting manner. Pushing you to the edge without pause. Cumming with a yelp you bite your cheek in lieu of your arm. Your orgasm not stopping him, instead, he spreads your legs further lapping up all of the juice you spill. And just when you can't stand anymore and your body is starting to shake, he finally springs up smacking his lips with a satisfied open mouth grin. Wiping your cum from his face.

Flopping onto the bed alongside you, he rests over you again, kissing you deeply, letting you taste yourself. Leaving you breathless when he finally parts.

"How are you doing?" He asks, his mindlessly touch once more trailing along your skin. "Good?" he presses for confirmation.

"Yes," you giggle, feeling lightheaded in the afterglow. Wanting to touch him back you, accidentally lift your arms off the mattress again. "Oh," You gasp, settling them back.

Raising up, he leans on his elbow. Digging into your joint hands, he clicks his tongue. "How many times did you lift your arms? Hmm?"

"Um," You feel like your cheeks burning under his inquisitive gaze. In truth, you hadn't counted. But you think at least 7 times. "Seven," you whisper.

"And how many times did I say you could move them?"

Your mind races for a moment trying to remember exactly what he said. You don't remember him saying a number though. And you realize it's a trick question. "None?" you squeak.

"That's right." He hums.

Sitting upright, he abruptly sticks his hands under you, flipping you onto your stomach in forceful motions. Trying to not break position, you stay straight keeping your arms flat to the bed. With a last tug, Taehyung pulls you onto your knees, your elongated arms and aching your back makes your face burry into the mattress.

"Seven," He says. His large open palm smacking your ass harshly. He doesn't count down the rest, but in your own head, you do. Each stinging slap only worsening your hunger.

But it doesn't matter how desperate you are, Taehyung isn't nearly done with you. Over the next 90 minutes, he touches and toys with you. You come serval times from his hands, his tongue, from toys, and even once from your own hand as he makes you get yourself off.

As the events go on, he gradually undresses. His own needs getting dire, he also cums, letting you suck him off and swallow his load. But soon after he is hard again. Getting too much enjoyment from teasing you with his cock, seeing you become a mess. And no matter how many times you cum, it is the part you want the most. At last, though, he addresses your needful craving.

Putting you on your back, you can see the switch in his eyes and the intent behind it. Laying over you and resting on his elbows, he lines up with your entrance. Your body almost shaking with expectation.

"What do you want little girl?" he repeats, his own breath strained with desire.

You no longer have any apprehension about saying it. You've never wanted anything, anyone, inside you more than you want Taehyung right now. "Please fuck me, Sir." you pant, tilting your hips up, your motion rubbing his tip through your dripping folds.

This time it's Taehyung whose exterior cracks. Dipping in your warm opening makes him groan. His jaw tensing, he has to restrain himself from slamming his dick inside you. He wants to do it. He wants to make you scream and writhe, and take his dick all at once. But he knows he can't be cruel. He knows he has overcome his baser instincts and be patient.

Pressing his lips to yours, slowly, carefully, he starts to edge his hips forward. His cock sinking inside you. Inch by inch. Allowing you the time and space to adjust to him. And you're grateful for it. He's stretching you and the deeper he goes the further you're being spread. The size of him, his thickness is larger than any vibrator you've used before. Or anything else you've had inside you.

Breathing lightly, shortly, your hands are clinging to the blanket. Your eyes fluttering closed. Feeling him fill you is beyond your wildest imaginations, and right now you wish it would never end.

"Fuck," Taehyung whispers, his entire dick buried inside you. Your virgin walls tightly constricting and twitching around him. With a few heavy breathes, he calms himself. "How does that feel Y/n?" He asks, half teasing you, half genuinely checking on your well-being.

Words have left you. Your mind is delirious. You can only whine and nod stiffly. Your hands wrapping his back draw his body against yours. Mutly begging for him to continue.

He gets your meaning and is all too happy to oblige. Keeping a slow, steady pace, he lifts his hips. The rubbing making you fevered. And when he sinks into you again, he sets up an even pace of long deep strokes. Rocking into your over and over and it isn't long before any hint of pain is replaced with pure euphoria. Your legs shaking and shivering.

"Such a good girl." He moans into your lips. "You're taking my dick so well," Starting to pick up the pace, your moans come out more unrestrained. A kind of vibrating static filling your brain.

As his thrusts become more empowered, the low ache returns. Hurting just enough that it's helping the incredible sensation build. After several minutes, one of Taehyung's hands lowers to your clit. The external pressure causing electricity. Enhancing the pleasure inside. Quickly the combination overwhelms you and you can feel pleasure in your core unlike any other. As if every single cell in your body were crying out in joy, you lift and fall, exploding in ecstasy. The sensation turning your stomach, aching the back of your jaw from how hard it hits you. Taehyung's tongue filling your mouth, he swallows the breathless screams of your orgasm.

"Oh god, Y/n, you feel so good." Taehyung groans, his thrusts not slowing any. Your body floating, your mind ringing in orgasmic relief.

The pulsing inside you seems to last for an eternity. And even after it fades your oversensitive body is still quivering from his unrelenting motions. You're exhausted and wrecked and now that you've cum, his size is starting to make you sore.

"Did that feel good?" He purrs. Your moans of pleasure turning into whimpers as his pace begins to pick up. Pushing on his chest a little, you're breathing too hard to vocalize your thoughts. But Taehyung can read your actions.

"You can take a little more, cant you, baby?" He coos, pressing deep and holding it, grinding his hips down. Making you squeal in pleasurable pain. "You wanna make me feel good don't you?"

He stops moving, pulling back a little to give you space to breathe and to hear him clearly. You nearly sigh in relief. The tip of him was pressing too far. Your eyes open as his hand comes to your face, making you look at him.

"Can you be a big girl for me while I fuck you?" he kisses you lightly, sucking your bottom lip. "Do you wanna be a good little girl and let me use you, let me fill you with cum?"

Even with your body depleted, you don't need to think twice. You want all of that. You want him to cum inside you. You want to make him happy, whatever it takes. Not looking away from his eyes you nod. A little scared, but mostly turned on and excited at the idea of him using you to get himself off.

Closed lipped, his mouth lifts into a smirk. His eyes getting prideful at your agreement.

Easing into you, his breath becomes shaky. Again he bottoms out inside you and you whine in pain. With your approval given he isn't waiting on a slow build this time. He's rock hard and your warm wet cunt is driving him crazy. He knows it's going to hurt you. But he also knows you won't need to endure for very long. He is already nearly ready to burst.

Quickly his thrusts get faster and rougher. Extending his arms he raises up and lifts one of your legs for leverage. His chest pushing down on the back of your thigh spreads you deeper and shoves him even further inside you.

You can't contain yourself at that point. Crying out with every thrust. Your skin is covered in goosebumps. You can tell he is still restraining himself, but it's easily too much. You're drained and tender. And he's too big and rough for you to handle.

But despite your discomfort, you force yourself to stay still. Repeating a mantra over and over in your head that you want to be good for him.

Sweating lightly, Taehyung is pounding you until all of sudden, with a final solid snap of his hips, his movements faltering. A chesty moan pouring out of him as his body falls heavier into you. Your raw sensitive walls twitching as they are flooded with warmth. Several small jerking thursts pumping all of his cum into you before he drops his weight.

Letting your thigh drop back down, he rests on his elbows on either side of your head, his heavy breath fanning your face. Lightly brushing his lips to yours he kisses you through a smile.

"Such a brave girl." He mutters.

You're so tender that he has you mewling even as he pulls out of you. The movement makes you wince.

Gasping, you're surprised you can actually feel his cum shifting. It feels like it's going to run out of you. Clamping your thighs shut, your face glows again with embarrassment. You're not sure if that is supposed to happen. You thought it would stay inside. But in any case, you don't want to make a mess on his bed.

With a last satisfied grunt, he drops onto his side, leaning on his arm while still hovering above you.

"I'm so proud of you. You did so well." He smiles warmly, brushing your hair off your face, wiping away your sweat. "How do you feel?"

How do you feel? Sore, exhausted, thoroughly use, but mostly,

"Good," You grin sleepily, leaning into his touch.

"Good." He whispers back.

Shuffling a little higher, he pulls a pillow down and nudges it under your head. His arm going under your neck he wraps his other arm around you, hugging you. As you roll to your side and cuddle into him, he takes the hint and draws you in tighter. His hands rubbing up and down your back softly.

"I had a really nice time tonight Y/n." He kisses the top of your head, his chest tightening against you. "Thank you for letting me be your first."

609 notes · View notes

jessikahathaway · 3 years

Text

Baby Talk - Part I

Hellooooo!

I've had this in my WIPs for a while and I wanted to get some of it out so that you all could enjoy it! Let me know what you think and if you want more??? Tag lists are open for all of my ongoing fics so if you want to be added just let me know!

Please enjoy!

Pairing: Jikook X Reader (Jimin X Reader X Jungkook)

Genre: Surrogacy!AU, Polyamorous!AU, Romance. (Future Smut)

Warnings: Medical Procedures, Assault (not descriptive), Profanity. If I forgot anything please let me know!

Words: 11.3k (Phew chill Jess~)

This wasn’t a big deal, you thought to yourself as you signed the paperwork in the clinic.

Just, you know, getting artificially inseminated for money. Nothing weird about that right?

Becoming a surrogate wasn’t something you’d planned on in your life, mainly sticking to your job and working towards a better tomorrow or whatever they say.

You were young, healthy and full of life.

The only thing you lacked, was a full bank account.

The realization hit a little harder than you thought it would. Being a receptionist wasn’t exactly what you’d had planned for your life but, it was simple work and it made you happy.

Going to college wasn’t really ever an option for you anyways. Your parents had died in an accident when you were little, forcing you to go live with your Great Aunt until you turned eighteen. She hadn’t forced you out, but you did leave. Wanting the adventures that life had to offer.

However, you quickly realized that it wasn’t easy pickings out in the world. That’s when the notice came to the door of your apartment that you either paid your late rent in full by the date or you could get your ass out.

Fear trickled down your spine at the thought of being homeless. You briefly thought of going back to your Aunts but, she lived out in the country and the city is where you’d made your home. As much as you cared about her, it just wasn’t going to happen.

That’s when your friend Namjoon and his husband Jim invited you over for dinner.

You were beyond excited, because these two had just had their baby girl Annie.

They had used the local fertility clinic to get a surrogate and had their baby just a month prior. You had been dying to meet the little bundle ever since you heard the news they were having a baby.

God, that kid was going to be spoiled rotten.

Quickly, you had gone over and enjoyed a nice meal with the three of them. Annie still partaking in formula.

You had tried to make conversation, but your eyes kept wandering to Annie and her little hands and feet. You felt a slight clench in your chest at the sight of her round face and sweet eyes.

“Earth to Y/N? You doing alright?” Namjoon’s voice echoed through their lovely, luxe apartment.

“Y-Yeah! Fine, I’m fine,” you smiled.

“You sure?” Jin asked, getting up to take his and Namjoon’s plates to the kitchen.

“Mhmm,” you said, eyes glancing back over at the baby.

“You’re so whipped, Annie has claimed yet another victim,” Namjoon snickered, looking at the blissful gaze your eyes had taken.

“You ever want kids, Y/N?” Jin asked, coming back in with dessert for each of you.

“I guess so, I mean. Just gotta find someone to make the baby with,” you joked half heartedly.

It was no secret among your friends that you were the black sheep. Not dating, not even entertaining the notion of having a significant other. The idea was, honestly, draining.

“Don’t feel like you have to be married to have a kid, Y/N. Single parenthood is just as valid as a couple,” Jin reminded.

“I’m nowhere near financially stable enough to pop out a kid right now,” you sighed.

“No? I thought the job at the hotel was treating you well,” Namjoon said.

“Yes and no, they treat me well. But pay me next to shit... I-I gotta make some quick cash, or I’m gonna be homeless,” you whispered.

“What?!?” The two men shouted, looking at you with heartbreak in their eyes.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell us you were struggling! We could’ve done something!” Jin says, rubbing his face with frustration.

“No-No! It’s fine, I’ll figure it out! I always do,” you encouraged, trying to keep the fear out of your eyes.

“How far behind on rent are you?” Namjoon asked.

“A little under six grand,” you sighed.

“Y/N!” Your two friends looked distraught.

“I don’t understand how a society can function like this, I hate it,” Namjoon said, looking down at his dessert he no longer wanted.

Annie started fussing, kicking her feet and wanting attention.

Jin sighed and got up, taking his beautiful daughter with him. You and Namjoon sat in cold silence for a while. Neither of you willing to talk to the other.

You were too proud for your own good. Even if it meant crashing and burning, you’d do that before you took anyone’s pity.

“How can we help?” Namjoon asked, looking at you with so much worry.

“I really don’t know Joon, there’s no where that’ll give me that kinda money with my credit and... even if they did I couldn’t pay it back anyways,” you sighed.

��Have you thought about going to school for something? Maybe you can get a degree and, I don’t know I’m pulling at straws here,” he said.

“I can’t go to school Joon, with what money? And even worse, I wouldn’t know what to go into,” you said, swallowing down some more wine.

“I wish we could’ve had you surrogate for us. We paid that woman a small fortune. Had I known you were struggling I would, maybe you could’ve done it instead,” he said quietly.

“How much did you pay her?” You asked.

“Around $80,000,” he said, shrugging.

You choked.

“Damn you filthy rich kids,” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your chest.

“That’s it!” Namjoon said.

“Huh?” You asked, looking at him in confusion and despair.

“You can’t be our surrogate, but you could be someone else’s!”

Your body ran cold at the thought.

“I-I don’t know if I could do that Joon,” you said.

“Doesn’t your family have a high chance of twins?” He said, looking at you with a smile.

“I mean, yes but-”

“Say no more. I know a couple that’s been dreaming of a baby. They actually were supposed to meet the woman who wound up being our surrogate. But she decided to go with us. Jimin and Jungkook, they’re really good people Y/N,” Namjoon said, smiling.

“Namjoon, I don’t know if I can have a stranger’s baby!”

“I mean I won’t force you to sign up or anything. But Jungkook and Jimin are really good guys who have been waiting forever to have a baby. They said they wanted twins but, most importantly they wanted a healthy child. How sweet is that!”

You worried your lower lip with your teeth. This was just ridiculous. There’s no way you’d be able to do it. No way.

“Let me show you a picture of them!” Namjoon said, pulling out his phone.

“Joon really-”

Although, before you could argue anymore, you saw their faces.

A smaller, blond man. Whose smile was brighter than any star. And a taller, lean brunette who looked at the camera with a goofy grin.

“Jimin is the blond, Jungkook is the brunette,” Namjoon explained.

“Okay?” You said, trying to calm your racing heart.

They were both handsome. Deathly so, it made your stomach clench in a weird way to look at them. You wondered what kind of babies they would make. If they had that smile Jimin was packing, no one would be safe. That child would get whatever it wanted.

“I’m just saying, it doesn't have to be them but they’ve wanted a baby for so long and... you could help them with that and get a lump sum of cash on the side. Bad a bing bad a boom! No worries!”

It wasn’t such a hard decision in the end.

You needed the money.

So walking into the clinic had this weird sense of finality to it.

The receptionist looked at you with a smile.

“Hello dear, how can I help you?” She said.

“I-uh, wanted to sign up to be a potential surrogate?” You said, wringing your hands together.

“Of course! Did you bring your medical records and things of the like?”

You nodded quickly, handing over the required paperwork. She clicked away on her keyboard and got you all signed up and ready to go. Soon, you were getting your preliminary check up to see if you were able to have children.

Although your period had some irregularities in the past, the doctor’s said it was probably due to stress and the balancing out of hormones. But it would all work out, you were healthy and fertile!

You managed to tell Namjoon that you signed up without him having a full blown heart attack.

“How long until you need to be out of the apartment?” He asked, sipping his coffee.

“I need to be out in three weeks,” you said softly.

“Well shit you’re kinda on a time crunch there sweets, but don’t worry, you can do it! I’ll let Jimin and Jungkook know that you signed up, they’ll want to meet you. I know it,” he said.

“Namjoon, it’s okay. I don’t care who I surrogate for, as long as it’s soon,” you said, trying to keep your heart rate under control.

“Okay, but Y/N, I’m telling you. They’d be the perfect fit for you!” He said.

You said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. The days to come would be challenging no doubt.

—

You were rather popular at the fertility clinic it seemed, because you’d had three meetings already.

One was a couple that had been trying for years and it just wasn’t happening so they were resorting to a different method. Although for this one they wanted to do an egg implantation. You weren’t sure you wanted to do that.

Another was an older couple who looked like they were just planning on having kids but their own clocks ran out.

But finally, you got one more call from the clinic.

“Miss Y/N, you’ve got another request for a meeting,” the receptionist on the other line said.

“Oh? With whom?” You asked.

“A Mr. Park Jimin and a Mr. Jeon Jungkook, they asked for you personally,” she said, tone light.

You almost spit out your drink.

Th-They had asked for you?

The fertility clinic was big, a huge database of surrogates and people willing to conceive for the right price.

But they had asked to meet you.

Personally.

“Miss Y/N? Still there?” The receptionist asked, sounding far away from you.

“Yes! Yes I’m here,” you said, coughing.

“Wonderful, they said if you were willing they’d like to treat you to a meal, of course I can’t give out your contact information without consent from you but if you’re willing to meet with them we can arrange this.”

You heard yourself agree before even thinking about it.

Soon, you were on your way to the higher end of town. Heading towards a good Korean Barbeque place that was notorious for having the best meat in town.

Walking in you looked around, noticing how luxurious the place was. It made you feel a little out of place to be honest. But, not letting that get to you the host came up and asked for your name.

“Miss Y/N, ah yes. You’re with the Jeon party, lovely. Come right this way,” he said, taking you back into the bowels of the beast it seemed.

Winding through tables and chairs you found yourself in front of a private room. You didn’t want to think about how much this cost, so you simply just let your mind wander to other fun topics.

Such as the fact that you were potentially meeting your surrogate partners.

“Mr. Jeon? Mr. Park? A Miss Y/N is here for you,” the host said, through the door.

“Let her in,” a higher pitched male voice said.

You bit your lip and waited as the door opened. You looked inside and saw a beautiful wooden table, laid out with the finest meats and other various types of noodles and food. Then, there was the other feast, one for your eyes.

Park Jimin was a smaller man, but so incredibly handsome it made your head swirl. His soft blond hair tucked under a beanie as he looked up at you with what could only be called wonder. He looked at you gently, a small smile making its way to his lips.

Jeon Jungkook was a different story. Lean but cut, tiny waist accentuated by his pants. His arms were strong looking and one was covered in tattoos. His hair was pulled away from his face in a precious man bun that made your heart stutter. His eyes were big and glassy, looking at you. As if breathing you in.

“Hi,” you said quietly. “I’m Y/N.”

“We know,” Jimin said with a gentle smile.

“Come, sit down,” Jungkook said, moving a chair out for you to sit.

“Okay,” you agreed, moving to sit down.

“Get whatever you want,” Jimin encouraged, handing you the menu politely.

“Thank you,” you blushed, trying to not faint with his eyes on you like that.

Ordering a few things for yourself the three of you sat there with awkward silence filling the space. Jungkook wouldn’t really look at you and Jimin seemed like he was too nervous to start.

“So,” you said, clearing your throat. “How long have you two been together?” You asked, trying to sound cheerful.

“Five years,” Jungkook said, placing his hand over his glass.

“Oh wow, congratulations,” you said, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

“Thank you,” Jimin breathed.

“Our friend Namjoon said you were kind of in a tight spot and needed some help financially, is this true?” Jungkook asked, finally glancing your way.

“Y-Yeah, I wish he wouldn’t just tell other people that but, no sense in denying the truth. I’m almost six grand behind on rent,” you sighed, rubbing your face.

Both of their faces fell, looking at each other in worry.

“It-It’s okay though! I’ll be okay, I always am,” you said, trying to keep your tone light.

“It’s okay to be scared, Y/N, I would be scared shitless if I were you,” Jungkook said, taking slow drinks from his glass.

“Yeah,” you sighed, trying to avoid the stinging in your eyes.

“What do you do for work?” Jimin asked, trying to keep the conversation from turning to dark.

“I’m a receptionist at the local hotel. It’s not much, but I really like it,” you said, a grin taking place on your face.

“Hey, if you like it then that means something,” Jimin encouraged.

“So, you two want to have a baby?” You said, trying to get down to the topic at hand.

“Yes, more than anything,” Jimin said, a wistful look crossing his face.

“That’s amazing, to love each other that much and want to build a family is... Super important,” you said, meaning every word.

“What does your family do, Y/N? Do they live here in the city?”

You awkwardly rubbed your hands together.

“Um, my Great Aunt lives out in the country. But, my parents and most of my other relatives have passed on,” you said, trying to hide the emotion that came up.

“Oh, so sorry for your loss,” Jungkook said, face pinching.

“It’s okay, it was a long time ago,” you whispered.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt,” Jimin argued.

“You’re right, but, it’s okay,” you said.

“So, you have a high chance for twins,” Jungkook said, looking at some papers you didn’t notice were on the table.

“Yes, my mother was a twin. It runs way back in my family,” you said.

“Jimin has a good chance of having twins as well,” Jungkook said, gesturing to his loving partner.

“I do I do,” he said with a grin.

“Do you two want a set of twins?” You asked.

“It’s preferred but not necessary. As long as we get a baby, that’s all that matters,” Jungkook said.

Soon, the food was delivered and Jungkook and Jimin insisted on cooking the food for you. Something about not stressing you out too much.

After a full meal, you leaned back and let your head fall comfortably. Jimin and Jungkook exchanged a glance at each other.

‘She’s the one,’ Jimin mouthed.

Jungkook smiled and nodded back.

“Thank you for the meal, I really do appreciate it. I haven’t eaten like that in months,” you said.

“Well, if you want to have our baby, we would gladly provide you with all the food you could want,” Jimin said.

“T-That’s alright, it wouldn’t be necessary-”

“Yes it would, Y/N. If you carry our child that means we’re responsible for you, everything you need or want will be yours. We swear,” Jungkook said.

“Right,” you swallowed thickly.

“Does that make you uncomfortable?” Jimin asked.

“I-I’ve never really been one for dependence on other people. You know? I like to do things myself if I can,” you said.

“Well, we wouldn’t force you to do anything of course but, if you did want or need anything, we would be more than happy to provide you with it,” Jungkook said.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet,” you said.

“You’d be carrying our child,” Jimin said as if it were obvious.

“Of course,” you said softly.

“Hey, if you don’t want to do this then don’t feel pressured. Don’t let money be an object in what you want to do with your life. It’s not healthy,” Jimin said.

“Thank you,” you said again.

“Well, I think it’s time to get going. I know you’ve met with other couples that have no doubt tried to convince you they’re the best option but... I really hope you chose us Y/N. You’d be the perfect surrogate for us,” Jungkook said, looking at you with a softened gaze.

And you knew it too.

You knew they were the couple you wanted to surrogate for, even if it cost you everything. You knew they deserved it. Not that any of the other families you had spoken to didn’t, but, they were the ones for you.

Your fertile window and ovulation were coming up so you had to make a choice and soon.

You’d met with the doctors at the clinic and they said that they were just waiting on you. Whomever you picked would have a meeting with you before the insemination on the rules and what you would have to do in regards to taking care of yourself. And then the money would be yours in full.

Calling the clinic you told them your answer.

“I would like to surrogate for Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park,” you said.

“Alrighty, I will give them a call and set up the appointment for them to get their end of the deal all set up and then we can get you all ready to go!” The receptionist said.

“Okay, thank you so much,” you said before hanging up.

Namjoon and Jin invited you over wanting to hear the news of everything going on with you.

And you couldn’t wait to see Annie again.

“Aw, you’re getting so big!” You said as you were greeted by Annie’s face in Jin’s arms.

“Yes she is!” Jin agreed. The cooing baby leaned forward, moving to capture your hair in her little fist.

You laughed and took her from Jin easily, he didn’t fight you and let you have your time with her. Rocking and bouncing her on your hip while the pair of them talked in the dining room.

Soon, a knocking came to the door.

Confusion swept over you, but regardless, you went to answer the door anyways.

Annie still on your hip, you opened the door to reveal Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook, your new surrogate partners.

Frozen in shock the two of them looked at you as if they were equally confused.

You wondered if the clinic had told them you picked them yet. You had just gotten off the phone with them today, so you weren’t. Jungkook’s face went to you to Annie and then back to you.

“H-Hi?” You whispered.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jimin asked, cocking his head to the side.

“Came to have dinner with Jinnie and Joon, and Annie of course,” you smiled, raising the little one up on your hip more.

“Oh, did you know we were coming?” Jungkook asked.

“No, I had no idea,” you said.

“Ah! Are those the boys?” Jin’s voice echoed throughout the hall.

“Yes!” You yelled back.

“Let them in Y/N! We invited them over too!” Namjoon said.

“Please come in,” you said, moving out of their way as the couple greeted Jin and Namjoon fondly.

It appeared as though there were no hard feelings in regards to them getting a surrogate they wanted. But, you could see Jungkook’s longing on his face when he looked at Annie in your arms.

“She’s beautiful,” Jimin said, looking down at Annie as you rocked her to sleep.

“Mhmm, gorgeous. She’ll be stealing hearts just like her dads,” you said.

“Hey, Y/N,” Jimin said, keeping his eyes trained on the little one in your arms.

“Did you make your decision yet? It said on your profile that your ovulation window was coming up and I was just curious,” he said quietly.

“I did,” you said.

Jimin’s face fell.

“I see,” he swallowed.

“Jimin-”

“Alright you two, paws off the baby, my turn!” Namjoon said, walking in.

You handed the sleeping baby over without a fuss before you and Jimin both walked out into the living room. Jimin whispered something to Jungkook and his face dropped. But you couldn’t find the words in your mouth. You wanted to tell them you picked them. You moved to talk to them when you felt Jin’s presence behind you.

“Y/N? You alright?” Jin asked, placing his hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah.”

It was getting later, and you were feeling sleepy from all the food you’d eaten during the night.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at your sleepy form and their hearts broke all over again.

“I can’t believe she didn’t pick us,” Jungkook said, face betraying how he felt.

“Babe, you can’t force her. I-I thought we had a good chance but,” Jimin sighed.

“I don’t want to keep looking for a surrogate if this is going to happen every time,” Jungkook said, pain coming through in his voice.

“Jungkook you know how badly I want this too right? It’s not just you hurting here,” Jimin said.

“We’ve been trying for two years to find a surrogate and when we find one we want, they always pick someone else. Why? Are we that undesirable? I don’t understand,” Jungkook sighed.

“It’s not that,” Jimin whispered. “Maybe it’s just not our turn yet.”

“When is it gonna be our turn, huh?” Jungkook said. “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“We can’t give up,” Jimin said softly. “I don’t want to give up yet.”

“I know baby,” Jungkook said, kissing Jimin’s cheek softly.

You felt your heart pounding in your chest. These poor men were really hurting for a baby. A family to call their own.

Sitting up Jimin and Jungkook looked at you in fear.

“Y/N? Y-You were awake-oh God I’m so sorry you had to hear that-” Jimin said frantically.

“I picked you two,” you said.

Their eyes shot up to meet yours.

Jungkook’s were glossy from unshed tears and Jimin’s were widening by the second.

“You what?”

“I said I picked you two. I want to surrogate for you two,” you explained.

“But-in the nursery you said-” Jimin started.

“I said I had picked someone, I didn’t say who silly,” you smiled.

“Oh thank you Y/N!” Jungkook said, coming over to hold your hand in his.

“You don’t know what this means to us,” Jimin said.

“I know you two want this baby more than anything, I want to give it to you. Honestly, you two have waited long enough,” you said, heart stammering at the look of hope in their eyes.

“You’re perfect Y/N! Seriously!” Jimin cried, holding onto Jungkook for dear life.

“Thank you, you’re very sweet. I’m supposed to go in for the, you know, business end of it on Monday. They said they’d call you tomorrow. I just gave my answer today,” you told them.

“Okay, alright sounds good,” Jungkook said, wiping his eyes furiously.

“You gonna be okay?” You asked, looking at the two of them.

“Of course, more than okay.”

—

Monday creeped up on you quickly, faster than you thought.

You went to the clinic and sat down, getting signed in and everything before you saw Jungkook and Jimin waltz in looking like a million bucks.

Dressed head to toe in designer clothing, you realized you didn’t know what they did for a living. You hadn’t really looked at their profiles all that much. But you knew their baby would have everything they could ever want and more.

Smiling at them and waving, the two of them made their way over to you.

“Hey! What’s going on?” Jimin asked, sitting down in the chair next to you.

“Just waiting,” you said, looking at the pair of them together.

They looked like the traditional power couple. Strong, dependable and handsome to boot. It was kind of overwhelming.

Jungkook was wringing his hands together, biting his lip as he looked around the room.

“You alright Jungkook?”

“Yeah just-”

“Mr. Jeon, Mr. Park and Miss Y/N? The legal assistant will see you now,” a voice from the corner called.

“Let’s go,” you said, standing up and heading towards the back room.

You sat down and the rules of the road were laid out.

If you signed the contract Jimin and Jungkook were the parents of the child. You had no rights unless they said otherwise. You would be given a lump sum of money, transferred into your bank account the day they know you’re pregnant and expecting. If anything happens to the baby such as a miscarriage or something of the like that you had no control over, you would be able to keep the money. But, they would like to try again to see if the next one stuck better.

“So, if you conceive twins, which your likelihood is good, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park have agreed to pay you double,” you almost choked on your drink.

Double?

“What?” You squeaked out.

“It’s written right here,” the legal assistant said, pointing to the document in her hands.

“Okay,” you said softly, not wanting to make either of them uncomfortable.

“The total of your payment will come to $153,000 dollars,” the legal assistant said. “If you conceive twins.”

Your head swirled.

What would you do with all that money? Jimin and Jungkook looked at you with worry.

“I-Is it not enough? We can give you more if you want-”

“No! No no, that is totally acceptable. More than,” you said.

“Okay, just making sure,” Jimin answered.

“If you would please initial here, Miss Y/N. And then a signature here at the bottom and then you two will also need to sign as well,” she said.

After all the paperwork was done your date for insemination was set.

Jimin and Jungkook looked at you as you walked out of the clinic.

“Hey! Y/N! Hold on,” Jungkook said, walking forward.

“Huh? What is it?” You asked turning around.

Jungkook’s bright eyes blinded you as he gazed into your own. But you kept your breathing steady as you could.

“Do you want a ride home? Jimin and I cleared our schedules so we could be here today, and... Well we don’t want you to get hurt or anything,” he said, pointing to the black suburban.

“Oh, it’s alright I was gonna go to the bookstore and get a few things and then head home but I’ll be fine, no worries,” you smiled.

“We insist, Y/N,” Jimin said, walking forward to take his partner’s hand.

“Um, well... It’s really not that far, I’m sure it’ll be okay,” you said.

“Well, if you’re really sure,” Jungkook said.

“Yeah, but I’ll see you two on Thursday right? That’s when I’m supposed to... Well, you know,” your said, looking down at your feet.

“Of course! If you want us to be there that is,” Jimin said.

“Yes, it’s your baby,” you said.

“Okay, we’ll see you Thursday then,” Jungkook agreed, waving at you before he and Jimin got into the suburban and left.

But you couldn’t help the feeling you had as you watched them drive away.

Sadness.

—

You walked into the clinic Thursday morning, sweat pooling in your palms. You were reaching the end of your wire at your apartment. And you weren’t going to get the money in time. You were worried and didn’t want to bother Namjoon and Jin... So you just kept it to yourself.

You felt the fear and worry eating you up inside as you sat in the waiting room.

The doctor called your name and you headed back towards the room, when someone shouted your name.

Jimin and Jungkook were there, smiling brightly at you.

Your heart eased at seeing the two men, so happy and radiant. Everything you weren’t currently. But, knowing you were giving them something so important really made you feel better. Even if it was just for the time being.

“Oh my gosh, we’re finally getting a baby!” Jimin squeaked.

“Easy, it’s probably not going to happen first try,” you reminded him of what the doctor said.

“Bet I could get you pregnant in one shot,” Jungkook smirked.

“Oh shush Kook. But if you got her pregnant you wouldn’t get those twins you want so badly now would you, butthead,” Jimin said, shoving the younger man around slightly.

You tried to keep yourself from blushing but the redness that twinged your cheeks was there regardless. You were here to get pregnant, that was the end goal of today.

“Alright, Miss Y/N, we’re going to take you back and get you all set and then Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon have said they wanted to take you home after. Is that alright with you?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, that’s fine,” you said.

“Okay, let’s head back then,” Jungkook gave you a gentle smile before Jimin came forward and gave your knuckles a quick kiss.

“Good luck, Y/N,” he said.

“Thanks,” you answered before heading back.

The whole process took around a hour and a half, most of it waiting.

The sensation wasn’t too bad, but you were a little uncomfortable. Everything was super sterile and not how you expected you’d get pregnant, but... It wasn’t your baby at the end of the day. You tried not to wiggle as you laid there, letting Jimin’s seed try to impregnate you.

Finally, the timer went off and you were allowed to leave to go home.

Jimin and Jungkook were sat in the waiting room, chatting with each other excitedly. You knew that this was it, that they were more than perfect for this baby. You were beyond happy you could give it to them.

“Y/N!” Jimin said, walking up to greet you.

“Hey,” you said easily, noticing Jungkook come up behind him.

“We’re here to take you home!” Jimin smiled.

“Thanks guys,” you said softly.

“We brought the car around already so you don’t have to walk too much. Don’t wanna spoil all our hard work,” Jimin said, looking at your tummy with affection.

“Like I said Jimin, it probably won’t happen this time. But you never know, you might have some strong swimmers,” you joked.

“You have no idea, Y/N,” he said, gazing into your eyes for a moment.

Your breath caught in your throat. He looked like an angel wrapped in sin, as if he were so good yet so bad for you. It made your head spin.

Jungkook held the car door open for you and you got in carefully. Jimin sat in the back with you while Jungkook sat up front.

Of course these two had a driver...

Jimin was looking out the window and noticed that they were getting into the sketchier part of town. His worry was eating him alive. He didn’t want the mother of his child staying here! That simply wouldn’t do.

You got out of the car, heading towards your apartment when the landlord approached you. Jungkook and Jimin were still getting out of the car when he exploded at you.

“There’s the little bitch now!” He growled, grabbing your wrist and twisting it painfully.

You yelped, trying not to move so much. It only made it hurt more.

“Let me go!” You said.

“You filthy cunt, you owe me almost six thousand dollars! And you dare to come back here without anything? Huh? Nothing? Where have you been huh? Selling your body to make some cash I bet, that’s what little whore’s like you do right? Fucking pathetic,” he spits at you.

“I-I just need a little more time-” a resounding smack is heard through the parking lot.

Jimin and Jungkook look up to see your head turned sharply to the side and a man gripping your wrist.

Both of the men flew off the handle.

“Let go of her you fucker!” Jungkook yelled, walking forward with purpose.

“Don’t you dare touch her!” Jimin growled, pulling you away from the man.

“Did you fucking hit her?” Jungkook said, looking at your reddened cheek.

“Bitch owes me money, she knows that-”

“Fucker!” Jungkook snarled, grabbing the man by his shirt and lifting him.

“Y/N? Sweetie can you hear me?” Jimin whispered. Your head was swimming with pain and discomfort. Your cheek was screaming at you. But what hurt worse was the embarrassment. They saw it all, that you couldn’t take care of yourself. How on earth were you going to take care of a baby if you got pregnant for nine months? Huh?

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, he hurt you. Jungkook put him down and call the cops,” Jimin said.

“I owe him money, I just-”

“You can’t arrest me! You fuckheads, do you know who I am?” He asked.

“Do you know who we are? Hi I’m Jeon Jungkook, heir to the Jeon Law Firm here in the city. You might have heard of us, and she is the mother of my future child and you won’t be putting your hands on her ever again,” Jungkook said.

“I just wanna leave, I don’t... I don’t wanna be here,” you whimpered.

“But Y/N,” Jimin said.

“Can we leave? Please?” You begged, looking up at him with a swollen cheek and glossy eyes. Jimin’s heart broke five times over, seeing you so upset.

“Jungkook, come on. Let’s go,” Jimin said.

“And leave her with this fucking piece of shit? I think not, no we’re going to-Y/N? Are you alright?” Jungkook asked, coming forward and looking at your face with a tenderness you didn’t know was there.

“We’ll take her home with us,” Jimin said easily.

“Okay, yeah. But we’re calling the cops on that dickbag when we get back. I want him arrested for hurting her,” Jungkook said with finality.

“Of course baby,” Jimin said, soothing the younger male.

“Can we just go?” You asked, looking up at them for a moment.

“Yes, of course we can, let’s get you in the car and go back to our place,” Jungkook said, coming forward and getting into the back seat this time. Jimin encouraged you to get inside, so you did, him following shortly thereafter.

“Take us home please,” Jungkook said, shutting the little window between the front of the car and the back.

You sat between the two men, each of them looking out the window and appearing to be deep in thought. You were as well. You hoped this didn’t affect your chances of getting pregnant. You don’t know what you’d do if you couldn’t get this baby. The prospect of so much money on the line, you very future.

Also, you worried for Jungkook and Jimin. You really wanted this to work for their sake too.

They’d been waiting so long.

You were swallowed into the dreamscape of your thoughts. Nothing really getting in or out of your mind. You were just reeling at everything that had happened in less than four hours. You had your first attempt at insemination, went home and got assaulted and now you were heading to the upper end of the city with the two men who wanted you to have a baby for them.

This was all so much to handle.

Finally, the car stopped moving and Jimin quickly ushered you out of the vehicle. You stood there and looked up at the stunning building with a weird sense of fear. It loomed over you, almost intimidatingly so.

Jimin told the driver to go park the car and take the rest of the day off while Jungkook gathered their things from the back. You looked around and noticed that people were staring at you.

No doubt you looked like a sore pink thumb right now. Tear stained and swollen cheeks making you look even more outlandish in the area. But, Jungkook quickly moved everyone inside.

The door man asked who you were and Jimin and Jungkook simply told the truth.

“She’s our surrogate, we’re having her stay with us for a while. If she needs anything, make sure she gets it!” Jimin said.

“Absolutely Mr. Park,” the doorman said.

“Come on Y/N,” Jungkook said, heading towards the elevator.

You followed behind them quickly, getting in the mirrored elevator. Looking at yourself you felt all the anxiety and fear come back. You didn’t belong here, you were wearing a pair of fucked up jeans, a flannel and t-shirt. They were dressed in beautiful clothing, dipped in the finest silks and satins.

You looked like a charity case no doubt.

It made your stomach churn in discomfort. But you kept your mouth shut. You were providing them with a service. And in turn they were paying you. It was a give and take situation. But you couldn’t help but feel as though you were taking more than you were giving.

Jungkook held the door while you and Jimin entered the house. You looked around and the apartment was massive. Bigger than your Aunt’s tiny house in the country. You wondered just how much money these two had.

Soon, Jimin was sitting you down on the couch and tending to your cheek. His heart crumpled when you flinched at his touch. He tried not to take it personally, you were literally just assaulted. But he hoped you weren’t scared of him, or Jungkook.

“Should I call the doctor?” Jungkook asked, coming in and sitting next to Jimin.

“No, she’s just a little swollen, she’ll be alright,” Jimin said, handing you the painkillers and some ice.

“Can she have that?” Jungkook asked, referring to the pain medicine.

“It’s acetaminophen she can have it,” Jimin confirmed.

“Okay,” he said, standing up and heading towards the kitchen.

“Are you hungry?” Jimin asked, looking at you for any signs of discomfort.

“Not particularly, but I should eat. Especially today,” you said, a weak smile on your face. Jimin nodded, but headed towards the kitchen regardless.

Soon after, a wonderful aroma filled the apartment. But you hadn’t moved from the couch, keeping your eyes trained on the TV Jimin turned on for you. You didn’t particularly want to watch the news, but you weren’t sure on how to work this TV. It made your brain hurt. But, whatever, you kept your eyes on the screen, not looking anywhere in particular.

Jimin soon came out, wearing a smile that must be a signature for him or something. He told you dinner was ready and to follow him. Turning off the TV with a swipe of his finger on the screen you marveled at the technology.

He patted your cheek and brought you into the dining room.

Jungkook was finishing putting the food out when you sat down. He and Jimin were deep in conversation. You picked at your food, eating a few pieces if Jimin put them on your plate. But other than that, you sat unmoving in the corner.

You supposed you were still in shock of what had happened today.

Soon, you felt the distinct cramping in your lower stomach, something you were told is to be expected. Especially if the pregnancy took. Letting out a puff of air, you held your stomach. It wasn’t terrible, but the discomfort had you adjusting in your seat.

Jungkook’s head snapped in your direction, carefully observing you.

“Everything alright? Y/N?” He asked, cocking his head to the side in a cute way.

Forcing a smile you nodded.

“Yeah, just cramping a little bit,” you said, keeping your hands together underneath the table.

“Is it bad?” Jungkook asked, leaning towards you.

“No-ah!” You said, clutching your stomach. It didn’t hurt as much as it caught you off guard. But the two men were beside you in seconds.

“Y/N? Do you want us to call the doctor?”

“Is there something we can get for you? Do you want more pain medicine?”

“N-No, honestly, I’m okay,” you said, giving them each a squeeze to their wrist.

Jimin nodded, standing up and moved to start cleaning up the meal. Jungkook placed a couple more pieces of meat on your plate, asking you to eat them. He thought it could help your cramping, but he mainly just wanted to see you eat something.

Soon, the pair of them had cleaned up the meal and had gathered some clothes for you to wear to bed.

“We’ll pick up some stuff for you to wear tomorrow,” Jungkook said smiling.

“N-No that’s alright I can go back and get my stuff,” you said.

“You’re not going anywhere near that building,” Jimin warned, voice low.

“What? I have to get my stuff-”

“We’ll have someone go collect your things and bring them back here,” Jimin said, careful.

“I can go it’s not a big deal-”

“Y/N, please, just let us take care of this,” Jungkook said, quietly coming over to your side.

You were far too tired to argue. But you already felt like a cat in a cage. So you waved off the disagreement and decided to just head to bed.

The cramping was still there, but not nearly as bad as it had been when you were at the table. Laying down helped, but you felt something in your underwear.

Quickly, you went to the bathroom and noticed some blood in your underwear. Biting your lip, you tried to keep yourself from panicking. Putting them back on you went to living room and found Jimin sitting on the couch, looking tired.

“J-Jimin,” you said quietly.

His head snapped up and he gave you a little smile.

“Yes, Y/N?” He asked, coming towards you. You sighed and ran your hands through your hair.

“I-I was bleeding,” you said, voice straining slightly.

“You were? Where?” He asked, brows furrowing.

“M-My, uh, I found it in my underwear,” you said, breathing in deeply.

“Was it a lot?” He asked, keeping a cool exterior.

“N-No, not a lot but it worried me,” you said, trying to keep yourself from freaking out on him.

“It’s normal to spot a little after the IUI, don’t worry. But tell me if anymore happens. They did just shove a tube up your business,” he said, laughing lightly.

Immediately you were put at ease. Sensing your relief, Jimin patted your shoulder.

“It’s okay to be nervous, we are,” Jimin said, nodding towards the closed door you assumed was to their bedroom.

“Yeah, I’m-I just really want this to work,” you confessed, feeling yourself relax a bit.

“We do too, more than anything,” Jimin answered, giving you a genuine grin.

“I’m glad that the baby will have you two as parents, makes me feel good knowing that they’ll be taken care of,” you smiled back.

Jimin’s face seemed to morph into a look of joy and agony at the same time.

“You’re too sweet, Y/N, honestly. Jungkook and I are beyond excited,” he explained.

“Have you always wanted to be a father?” You asked him, out of the blue. Jimin blushed and looked down at his feet.

“Y-Yeah, ever since I was little I always wanted a family to call my own. And when I met Jungkook I knew it was just meant to be you know? Like, everything just made sense,” he said, a sheepish look taking over his features.

“That’s so sweet,” you gushed.

“It’s the truth,” he shrugged.

“I want someone to look at me the way you look at Jungkook, like I’m their whole world and more. I’ve never been one for dating though,” you said, looking down at the floor, embarrassed.

“No? How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had?” Jimin asked, not thinking. When the shocked look took over your face he back peddled. “I-I shouldn’t have asked, that doesn’t deem your worth or anything like that-”

“None,” you said, blushing bright red.

Jimin’s face changed.

“Tell me if I’m out of line here, but have you ever, uh... You know, um,” he said, rubbing his hands together.

“Oh? Sex? Yeah, I’ve done it before, but it wasn’t really anything special. I don’t even think I-um... Nevermind,” you said, biting your lip hard.

“You don’t think you what? You didn’t cum?” Jimin said, as if he were shocked.

“No! Now keep your voice down!” You yelped.

Jimin frowned.

“That’s horrible, you deserve better,” Jimin said matter of factly.

“It happens, but, this conversation has gotten away from us,” you said, trying to steer it away from your pathetic sex life and more towards the fact that you both need to go to bed. “I’m tired, had a long day.” You said, rubbing your arms.

“Of course, absolutely! If you need anything or something happens, our room is right here just come get us,” Jimin said.

“Okay, thanks,” you said, turning, but not before you wished him a good night.

Jimin gave you a small smile. “Good night, Y/N, sleep well.”

—

Soon your stuff was all moved into the boys apartment. You questioned when you would be leaving, but the boys said that you didn’t have to worry about departing for the foreseeable future.

They had originally wanted you to live with them if and when they found out you were pregnant, that way they could be there through it all. But, these stages after the insemination could be hard on you and they decided to keep you with them.

You felt like a little kid half the time, but you had to call in to work often because of these appointments. And quickly, they tired of it.

“Y/N, we love you and we want you to pick here to work, but honestly your attendance is a severe issue right now,” your supervisor said over the phone. You called in that day because you just were feeling super exhausted.

You hadn’t told them you’d signed up for a surrogacy. You weren’t sure how that would go over, but, maybe you had to if you wanted to save your job.

“I-I’m calling in all the time because I’m trying to get pregnant,” you said softly.

Laughter came from the other side of the phone.

You were being laughed at.

“Oh my God, Y/N, that’s hilarious! But seriously, I have to put you on a two week suspension without pay because-”

“Dawn, I'm serious. I signed up with the fertility clinic and I’m currently trying to become a surrogate for a lovely couple,” you said, honestly.

“Y/N, why did you sign up for that? As far as any of us knew, you weren’t that into kids,” Dawn said over the phone.

“I-I like kids, but the baby won’t be mine to keep. The couple gets to keep them once they are born. I lose all rights as a parent,” you explained.

“That’s kinda cruel... Let you carry the baby for nine months then force you to leave them. I don’t know if I could do that,” she said.

“I-It’s the way it is,” you said. “But I need to have the day off, I have an appointment at the clinic.”

“Y/N, would it be easier if we just let you quit?” Dawn said.

“What?!” You shrieked into the phone.

“Well, it’s a delicate time and we'd have you working on your feet for long hours. I don’t want anything to happen to you or your baby,” she said, sounding sad.

“But I don’t wanna leave you guys,” you whimpered.

“Well, once the little tike is born come back. We’ll hire you back, I promise. If you want to come back,” she offered.

“Y-You’ll really let me come back?” You said, biting your lip.

It would be nice to just focus on the pregnancy and helping Jungkook and Jimin. If you had the option, maybe it would be better to take her advice and go back when you were ready. Hopefully they don’t screw you over.

“Of course we will! We love you! But, right now isn’t the best time for you to be working. Focus on you and your little bundle okay? We’ll be waiting,” she said.

“Oh thank you Dawn! I love you guys too!”

After a little tears ‘see you later’, you hung up.

Soon, a soft knock came to your door. Looking up you saw Jungkook there, dressed to the nines looking at you. Raising a brow you assessed the situation.

“What’s up?” You said, setting your phone down to give him your undivided attention.

“I was wondering if you needed a ride to work, you’re already an hour late,” he said, pointing to the clock on your wall.

“Oh, about that,” you said, rubbing your hands together.

“Did something happen? Did they fire you for being our surrogate? Oh just let me make one phone call, that’s illegal! I’m a lawyer, let me talk some sense into them!” Jungkook said, turning to walk out.

“No, Jungkook! It’s fine, they told me to take the time off. To spend time focusing on myself and to take care of the baby,” you explained. “My job will be there when I’m ready to return.”

Jungkook stopped and looked at you. His features softened before nodding.

“Okay, but if they try to tell you you can’t go back when you’re ready, you just tell me. I won’t let anyone disrespect or lie to you,” he said, a stern look on his face.

“Thanks Jungkook, that means a lot,” you said, giving a smile.

“There’s food in the fridge, all you have to do is heat it up. You have the house to yourself so, do whatever you want,” Jungkook said, waving before walking out of your room.

You sat there for a minute, really mulling over what you wanted to do. Honestly, you were so sore and tired you just wanted to fall back asleep. But you decided that it was better to get up and do some activity. Hopefully that would be okay.

It had been about ten days since your IUI appointment and you were mainly just tired. Although fatigue was a symptom of an attachment. But that was the only symptom you were having, you were meant to test in a couple days to see if you were pregnant, but something had you worried.

If you weren’t pregnant, you’d have to wait a whole other month. They did tell you that sometimes it took multiple tries to successfully impregnate someone. But you really wanted this to work, you just wanted to get this going.

That way Jimin and Jungkook could have their baby already.

You knew they’d be amazing fathers, already with their dutiful actions towards you. So willing to do whatever you asked, but you tried your best not to pester them too much. You tried to make it as though you weren’t even there. But they insisted you join them for dinner so they could make sure you were eating well.

For your day you mainly just puttered around the house, picking up and doing little things that wouldn’t aggravate you. So, you settled down with a book in your hands and soft music playing in the background.

That’s how Jimin and Jungkook found you when they came home. Curled up on the couch with a novel between your fingers. Jimin smiled softly, looking at the picturesque scene.

“Do you think she’s pregnant?” Jungkook asked, looking at his boyfriend with apprehension.

“I hope so,” Jimin answered.

“She’s really tired lately, sleeping late and going to bed early. That’s a sign, right?” Jungkook said.

“It is, but that’s also a sign of a woman’s period coming up,” Jimin warned.

“Damn...” Jungkook said, rubbing his face.

“But I don’t know, she’s due to test soon so, we might have our baby,” Jimin soothed.

You looked up from your book, noticing the pair in the entryway. Giving them a shy smile, you waved, nose getting buried back in the book. Jimin laughed lightly, heading towards the kitchen.

The two cooked dinner, making something easy to digest. Your stomach was on the fritz yesterday so they want to make sure they don’t upset your sensitive tummy. But, as Jimin looked out at you reading on the couch, a blanket draped along your lap. He couldn’t help but love the domesticity of it all. You looked at peace, in your element and comfortable.

Jimin hoped it would stay that way. With you, comfy and cared for.

Jungkook rushed past with the boiling soup in his hands, moving quick like a little kid to set the table for you all. Jimin just laughed, smacking his butt when he came back.

“Hey! Paws off,” Jungkook pouted.

“Hmm? That’s not what you were saying the other night,” Jimin laughed at the scandalized look on Jungkook’s face. “I’m kidding, come on go get Y/N so we can eat.”

Jungkook went to gather you from the living room and was met with an unusual sight. You passed out, wrapped in the blanket with your book on the floor.

He smiled, moving towards you slowly. He placed a soft hand on your head, patting your hair gently. Your eyes opened slowly, looking up at him with sleepy eyes. Jungkook helped you up, leading you to the dining room.

The meal was quiet, Jungkook and Jimin making small talk with you, but mostly you were just eating peacefully.

You ate well and leaned back, as you tended to do when you were full and let out a huff. Jimin repressed the smile on his face with the back of his hand. Jungkook smiled openly, looking at your sleepy form.

Sitting back up you took a few more swallows of water before you stood up and thanked them for the meal and headed towards your room.

Jungkook and Jimin watched you go, each having a weird tightening in their chest at the sight of your swaying hips.

—

You had finally reached the two week mark.

Time to test.

Jimin and Jungkook went with you, driving you to the clinic for your appointment at the ass crack of dawn it felt like.

Jimin was chatting excitedly in the front seat with Jungkook. You could see the looks of love on their faces as they talked about their future with their child. It made butterflies rise in your stomach.

Quickly smacking your cheeks, you tried to forget the sensation of hope building in your belly.

Soon you were all at the clinic, Jimin helping you out of the car. The two men walked on either side of you, making sure everyone knew who you were here with. It made you feel protected, watched over.

Important.

After all the paperwork was done for the visit, Jungkook and Jimin sat down next to you. They interlocked their hands, smiling brightly at each other. You locked your hands together and looked down at them.

“Miss Y/N? Mr. Park and Mr. Jeon? Are you all ready?” A nurse called and you all headed back to a secluded room, a few chairs and the like ready. You saw the needles and everything set up and you swallowed hard.

You hated needles, with a passion.

But you’d done it before, so you’d do it again.

“Y/N? You okay?” Jungkook asked, looking at your paling face.

“Y-yeah, nervous around needles,” you confessed.

“Oh, do you want some water or something?”

“No I’m okay,” you encouraged.

“If you’re sure,” Jungkook said, looking like he wanted to do more...

“Alright! We’re gonna take some blood and a urine sample, so if you two would just wait outside for a moment while we get her changed, then you can come back in if you want,” the nurse explained.

You got changed and hopped up on the table.

They asked a bunch of questions, all fairly standard. Then they brought out the needles. Jimin saw you flinch when the packaging came off and you saw the syringe come closer.

“Hang on,” Jimin said, standing up.

The nurse stopped and looked up in confusion, that’s when Jimin took your hand in his and squeezed.

“You can hold my hand while they take your blood okay? Just squeeze if you need to,” he said, looking at your face for any signs of resistance.

You bit your lip and nodded.

The nurse took your blood quickly, getting a few vials full. Jungkook watched as his boyfriend held your hand the whole time, keeping you calm and at ease.

He hoped with everything he was that this had worked.

God, he wanted it to work so bad.

Soon, the two men were being ushered out of the room so you could do your urine sample.

After everything was done and over with, you got dressed and went to the waiting room. Jimin and Jungkook stood up when they saw you, waving you over to sit with them.

All three of you waited with baited breath as they ran the tests. They kept asking if you wanted anything, water, juice or something to eat. But you politely declined. Knowing if you put anything in your body right now you’d puke it up immediately with how nervous you were for the results.

They said it shouldn’t take too long.

It had been about an hour when a nurse popped her head out, signaling for all three of you to come back.

“Dr. Heinz will see you now,” she said, giving you all a small smile before leading you down the hallway towards the offices.

Shortly, you were sat on a comfortable sofa with Jungkook and Jimin in front of you. Jungkook and Jimin were holding onto each other so tight you feared for their circulation. But, Dr. Heinz was quick to get to the point.

“Well, I want to say, congratulations, Mr. Jeon and Mr. Park... Y/N is pregnant,” he said, talking like you weren’t in the room.

“Oh my God!” Jungkook shouted, standing up and hugging Jimin to him tightly. They kissed several times, tears falling freely down the new father’s faces. Dr. Heinz let them have their moment, smiling at the happy couple. You looked down at your stomach and bit your lip.

So this was really happening...

“Jungkook, I love you,” Jimin said, holding onto his boyfriend tightly.

“I love you too babe, I love you too,” Jungkook affirmed.

“Okay we do have to discuss her health however,” Dr. Heinz said, having the men sit down quickly.

“Is she alright?” Jimin said, looking at you with worry written all over his features.

“She’s at a very fragile point in the pregnancy. IUI can be tricky so we need to be very careful with what happens next. I don’t want her doing anything strenuous. Especially with the lower body until we can get her in for an ultrasound. Her uterus looked good on her preliminary but getting pregnant can really affect a woman’s body, so we need to take all the precautions,” Dr. Heinz explained.

“But is she going to be okay?” Jungkook asked, placing a gentle hand on yours.

You looked at his big hand covering yours, blinking slowly.

“I’m worried about her low white blood cell count. That makes her more susceptible to colds and infections, so you need to be very careful. Her red blood cell count was also low, showing early signs of anemia. So lots of red meat and protein to help keep her levels up. Although the anemia will be aggravated by the pregnancy, so make sure she doesn’t stand up too fast or tax herself too much,” he said.

“I am right here,” you said, glaring at the doctor.

“Sorry Miss Y/N, they’re the parents in this situation. I want them to be informed of your situation,” Dr. Heinz said bluntly.

“There are four of us in this room, I’ll remind you of that. Don’t talk like I’m not here please,” you said, folding your hands and crossing your legs.

Jimin almost burst out laughing.

Damn you were feisty!

He really liked that...

“I-I apologize, Miss Y/N,” he said, swallowing quickly before continuing on. “Also, you’re going to start having more symptoms than the fatigue you mentioned. Morning sickness is extremely common and expected, although every woman is different. Headaches, dizziness and blurred vision are also to be noted. Even some spotting can happen, but please do tell us if you’re spotting or bleeding. Now, do any of you have questions?” The doctor asked, looking at the boys and you.

“Is there any way to know if we are expecting, more than one?” Jimin asked, looking down at your stomach with pure adoration on his face.

“We won’t really know until she’s further along. Quite a bit further actually. But for now, enjoy this. Enjoy the early stages, it’ll be tough but you can pull through. I wish you all the best of luck,” Dr. Heinz said, handing some paperwork over to Jungkook before the three of you stood up and headed out.

Jimin and Jungkook were so excited, chatting with each other about if they were having twins. If the baby was a boy or girl. You were in the car, hands folded in your lap while you looked out the window.

Honestly, you were scared out of your mind.

The doctor had mentioned this was a really fragile part of the pregnancy. That you’d have to be careful, not to mention it was important for your own health as well. If something happened to the baby, something could happen to you and vice versa.

Jungkook insisted on taking everyone out for dinner.

This was a big occasion after all.

Sitting down in the very resturant you all had your first meal in, felt kinda surreal.

Now, you were pregnant with their baby. It felt kinda full circle.

Jimin and Jungkook insisted on getting whatever you wanted. But you weren’t terribly hungry yet, maybe it was the nerves of the whole day catching up. But you ordered a few things, making sure to eat. You knew it made them happy when you did, because it showed you cared about your body and the life growing inside of you.

Jungkook was drinking, a lot if you were being honest. Jimin just watched him as his cheeks flushed red as he continued to talk animatedly at the two of you. Smiling, you filled up Jungkook’s water before urging him to drink some.

“Thanks youuu,” he said, beaming at you.

“You’re welcome, but drink up okay?” You said, gesturing towards the glass.

He did as you asked, drinking all the water. You sighed in relief, knowing at least he’d be hydrated when he went to bed.

“Well, guess you aren’t driving you big lug,” Jimin laughed as he hauled Jungkook out of the restaurant a while later.

“Mmm, we’re having a baby baby!” Jungkook cooed at Jimin, holding his cheeks in between his hands.

“Mhmm, yes we are. Now get in the back with Y/N, okay?” Jimin said, opening the back and helping his very tipsy boyfriend inside. You were about to climb in when Jimin placed his hands on your hips, causing you to jolt so hard you smacked your head on the roof of the car.

“Ow, fuck,” you said, holding your head tightly.

“Y/N!” Jimin yelped. Jungkook’s head popped up.

“What happened?” He asked, looking at you with bleary eyes.

“I just smacked my head, I’m alright,” you said, rubbing your head gingerly.

“Can I take a look?” Jimin asked, biting his plump lips harshly.

“Y-yeah,” you said, leaning towards him.

Jimin’s gentle hands on your scalp proved to be dangerous. Because now, you wanted him to touch you here all the time. Combing his fingers through your hair. Massaging the tender flesh there.

“Well, you aren’t bleeding, but you’ll have a massive bump for a few days no doubt,” he reasoned.

“She’s gonna have a massive bump here soon too!” Jungkook cheered happily, pointing at your stomach.

“Jungkook, enough,” Jimin warned.

Grumbling to himself, Jungkook backed off.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jimin asked. You nodded, already feeling the throbbing in the base of your skull starting.

“I’ll take a few pain killers when we get back,” you said.

“Okay,” Jimin said, running his hand from your head down to cradle your cheek in his palm. You’re cheeks heated up at the feeling of his skin on yours, but shortly he was retreating to the front of the car.

Soon, you were underway.

Jimin turned on the radio quietly, driving carefully around town.

Jungkook had managed to fall asleep against the window. When suddenly, the car was jerking to the side. Jimin laid on the horn, yelling a couple explicit words out the window. But, Jungkook’s body had already fallen into your lap.

His head rested comfortably against your thighs, arms draping across your legs. Jungkook continued to sleep peacefully while you inspected him. He had a beautiful nose, button like and slotting perfectly along with his already perfect features. His plush lips pouting as he slept. Your eyes widened at him, heart hammering in your chest as you gazed down at him.

He was incredibly handsome.

But, you knew his personality too. He was kind, but strong and sure of himself. He had an air of confidence that was almost infectious. But he also had a childish nature about him. Not immature, but there was something about the wonder in his eyes when he tried something new. Or the nostalgia that ran through him when he ate his favorite food or, just the sparkle in his eyes when Jimin came home.

You, as if possessed, took your hand and ran your fingers through his soft black hair. He groaned in his sleep, gripping your legs tighter. You continued to run your fingers through his hair, watching his face for any signs of discomfort.

Jimin looked in the rearview mirror and saw you stroking Jungkook’s head with a gentle hand. His heart thudded dangerously in his chest. You were so caring and tender, everything you did had purpose behind it.

Jimin felt relief flood him at the idea of you being the mother of he and Jungkook’s child. Technically just Jimin’s but Jungkook was also the father but he didn’t get any genetics in this one.

This one...

Did Jimin want to have more children?

You just got the announcement today and he was already giddy at the prospect of you growing large with his child. But confusion swept through him. Was this just because he was grateful to you? Or was it something more?

Looking at you and Jungkook in the back, he thinks he might already know the answer.

#ficswithluv #ksmutclub #BTS #BTS smut #Jikook x reader #Jikook #Bangtan #BTS fanfic #Jikook smut #Jikook x reader smut #Pregnancy au #Jimin x jungkook x reader #Surrogacy Au

716 notes · View notes