#I'll just... shut up. I'm just being a burden again

[chuluoyi]

✎ unconcealable

- gojo satoru x reader

your boyfriend may not show it, but the six eyes are his burden to bear. you know it firsthand when he falls into your arms for the first time

genre: teen!gojo, fluff, hurt/comfort, flashback and fast-forward to dad!gojo later

note: hello hello i’m alive~ i have this little thing of fluff/comfort pampering in my head throughout my vacation and it’s been a long time since i last wrote about teen!gojo so here it is :D will proofread later when i get the chance!

a part of gojo's love entries

general masterlist

Back in 2006—

“Satoru, move away—”

“Nuh, uh! I’m staying! You’re too soft~”

“Satoru, If Yaga-sensei walks in… he’ll think we’re doing something indecent!”

“Mmm, don't care~”

This is the gym. Anyone could walk in. And yet your boyfriend of three weeks, Gojo Satoru, claimed his place by resting his head on your lap and squeezing his eyes shut so comfortably… like a cat.

You sighed, vexed and almost giving up— and then you noticed just how good-looking he was. Not that you just realized it now, but his long eyelashes, his smooth skin, white hair...

You have snagged a heartthrob. Or at least he could be if it wasn't for his questionable tendencies.

“Satoru, I’m being serious,” you griped, blinking back your pounding heart and starting to get anxious if anyone would see the two of you on the floor, with him over you. “Get up. Now.”

He knitted his brows together. “So stingy... Can’t your dashing boyfriend get five more minutes?”

“No. Up. Now.” You learnt by experience that the more you indulged Satoru, the more you would be inclined to comply as well. So before he dragged you into that hole...

“Hmph! No!”

“I’ll really flip you if you don’t move—!”

And that’s finally when he cracked his eyes open, totally pouting. “So mean! My head is hurting, you know! I just want to rest a bit!”

You were somewhat taken aback by his little outburst but he really got up this time, and then he stalked away, mumbling complaints.

"Some girlfriend you are... so not considerate..." he pursed his lips together, seemingly hurt as he made his way out.

That almost annoyed you greatly, and you were about to retort back when to your shock, he suddenly clutched his head and staggered. "Ahh—"

"Satoru!"

You sprinted to him and caught him as he wobbled, supporting his weight.

"Are you okay? What happened?!" you were so spooked that you went down with him to the floor again. And you immediately pulled him to you when he heaved a shuddering breath.

"I'm okay—" he said in a pant, pressing his eyes together so tightly. "I'm okay, I'm okay! Don't—"

"You're not, you idiot!"

Something with his eyes. It just dawned to you that he didn't wear his sunglasses today, and by instinct, you wrapped your arms around him, pressing him close to your chest.

"Is it hurting badly now?" you worriedly asked, keeping him tight in your embrace. "Do you want me to get you something?"

Contrary to your worries, what Satoru was more focused on was the exponential warmth that enveloped him. He had a migraine for a while there, but you so easily anchored him, making it somehow hurt less.

"You said Yaga-sensei will catch us and think we're having sex," he sullenly accused to hide the sudden blush spreading quickly on his face. "You didn't care about me just a minute ago."

"That's... a minute ago!" you hissed. "Now I'm worried!"

Your response made him smile despite himself. Satoru found comfort in the darkness of being squished against your boobs... perhaps way more than he thought he would.

"Then let me stay like this for a while. I'll be okay in a jiffy, 'kay?"

"Hmm," you hummed, absent-mindedly stroking his soft hair. You started to feel bad for chasing him away earlier, and squeezed him. "Does your head hurt often?"

"Whoa, it's only when I'm like this that you'll touch me so openly," he responded with a mock sigh, and you fought the urge not to roll your eyes. "Poor me."

"Poor you indeed. So answer me, does it, or does it not?"

"Nah, it's just how it is sometimes. Just some side effects of my eyes, you see."

"Why don't you wear your glasses today?"

"...Nanami broke them after I ate his last doughnut."

"You..." you almost giggled, and yet so exasperated at the same time. But the way Satoru squeezed your waist to hug you in return made you spare him.

You two stayed like that for a while, and when the bell rang to indicate the start of the next period, you asked him again. "Are you okay now?"

"Mm-hm, yeah, much better."

"Then let's go back to your class. I'll help you go there."

"Ehh..." But Satoru, ever the stubborn one, just buried his face into you, holding on tight and not letting go at all. "No."

You frowned. "Why—"

"Don't wanna move~ your boobs are just too good..."

"—? What—"

"They're soooo soft. Seems jiggly too? Ah, my pain is healed! Oh! When we get married, will I get to bite them too—"

"Satoru, you!"

Long story short, you two missed the next period just because Satoru nagged you to stay with him... and at the end of it all, the ones who opened the doors to the gym were Nanami and Haibara, who immediately went to report to Yaga and red-faced respectively.

Back to present—

"Time for your teardrops!"

Satoru squeezed the bottle of eyedrops, lining it up with the striking blue eyes of his six-year-old son, an cute little pumpkin who was a carbon copy of him in every way, as he laid his head on his lap.

"Mmngh," his son squirmed as the water made contact with his sensitive eyes, and squeezed both eyes shut as soon as his papa was done.

Having inherited his eyes, the boy had started to feel pain whenever he accidentally overused them. Satoru knew the feeling well, and as much as he tried to humor him, something inside him prickled whenever he saw him getting teary-eyed due to the pain.

"Still stings?" he asked with a frown. "Want to use blindfold cover your eyes, hmm?"

Your son mumbled, "...no."

"What do you want then?"

"...I want mama."

Satoru snorted, pinching his boy's plump cheek fondly. "Same, kiddo. I want mama too."

The little boy cracked his eyes open out of spite. "You always bother her everyday."

"It's not as if you do not but whatever." Satoru pursed his lips as he stared at his boy. "If only I can put those rotting grandpas in elderly home, your mama can be freed from missions."

The kid snuggled close to his lap, seeking comfort, and suddenly, he felt flash of warmth burst inside him, realizing that his little munchkin wanted him to make him feel better.

"Look, I'm not mama, but I can do this too—" he hoisted his son, and hugged him close, hiding his little face into his sturdy chest. "Here you go. Better?"

The little baby that forever connects him to you. Satoru loved his son as much as he loved you.

He had no one to really comfort him in the early days of misusing his eyes— they only told him that it was the price for the greatness he would possess. Until you did. You didn’t speak of power or strength. Each time he suffered from those migraines back then, you would hold him close.

And so, he'd be damned if the same thing happened to his precious son. He wouldn't let him be told that—he would do his best to soothe him, to make him feel safe.

"Tomorrow we're getting kikufuku, yeah?" he said with a smile, patting his son’s back gently. "And ice cream too."

"Mmm... 'kay..." the boy replied. "Papa... sleepy..."

"Then sleep, kid. I'll wake you when mama comes back, yeah?"

You. The baby. The two of you were always the center of his world. As he too drifted off to sleep beside his son, he thought that chasing after you was most definitely the greatest decision he made from that blue spring that would never return in his life.

Epilogue

"I'm home!"

Your mission ended with a bang as you completely obliterated the cursed spirit. You went home with a spring in your steps, thinking that your silly husband and cute son would be waiting for you in this afternoon.

But no one greeted you back, and you found yourself walking to your master bedroom, only to be floored by the sight.

Satoru had dozed off so unguardedly, but he had one protective arm over your son, who was also sleeping. They looked like a pair of twins, and the way your son curled up to your husband melted your heart so much that it brought a wide smile on your face.

Click! Click! You took several photos so you would be able to look at their sleepy state whenever you wanted. But as you marveled at the photographs, suddenly a sneaky hand yanked you—

"Whoa—!"

"Shh, you'll wake him up, mama," Satoru sleepily grinned as he smooched your face. "You took so long, I missed you."

"I finished one day early," you huffed, but then your expression softened as you gazed at your sleeping son. "Seems like both of you are getting along well while I was gone~"

"I fed him mochi and cookies, of course he'll be obedient."

"—! I told you he'll get cavities soon if you don't limit the sweets intake!"

"Oh? Then we just have to have another baby who won't get cavities just as you wish then~"

"That's not how it works! Satoru, you—!"

[dreamescapeswriting]

Stray Kids Reaction || They're Sick

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - July 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

GN!Reader. I changed it a little just so they weren’t too similar to one another, I hope that’s alright. Please let me know and I can fix and rewrite it for you <3

Trigger warning: Mentions of throwing up as well as people being ill, please don’t read if it’s something that may upset you <3

CHAN:

As soon as you felt the weight in the bed shift you realised Chan was waking up but it wasn't his usual slow wake-up, he shot out of bed before the bathroom door slammed. You frowned sitting up in the bed and glancing over at the bedroom door that was left wide open. 

"Channie?" You called out, quickly making your way toward the bathroom and peeling the door open to reveal Chan huddled over the toilet with his head lying against the seat. 

"That's not hygienic." You teased softly, walking behind him and kneeling on the ground, carefully running your fingers through his hair and hissing when you felt just how hot his skin was to touch. Before Chan could say anything to you, a gag sounded and he threw up into the toilet again. 

"I'll be right back." You whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder before making your way toward the kitchen and reaching for everything you were going to need for him.

You came book moments later holding a small kit that you'd prepared, Chan was slumped against the wall looking pale and slightly green, if that was even possible. 

"I'm sorry," He mumbled as you dropped in front of him, taking his temperature before handing him some tablets.

"Don't be, baby," You whispered, giving him a small bottle of water before cleaning the toilet as he took everything you gave to him.

"You don't have to do all of this," He grumbled, laying his head against the wall as he watched you clean up the mess he'd made, before sitting down in front of him once again.

"I know," You smiled warmly at him, "I want to. Did you take everything?" You noticed the tablets you'd given to him were all gone and he mumbled "yes" tiredly making you frown a little,

"Bed. Come on." You told him, gently helping him up from the floor and guiding him into the bedroom, even now he was unsteady on his feet and swaying a little. 

"I'll be fine, I just need to get some food and I can go to work."

"You're going to work over my dead body." You told him, laying him down on the bed before laying a cold cloth on his forehead, his eyes finding yours as a small pout played on his lips.

"But-"

"No buts, I'll call JYPE myself and force them to put you on strict bed rest," You warned him as his cheeks began to turn pink.

"You too warm?" Concern dripped from your voice as you noticed the pink on his cheeks and he smiled, shaking his head slowly.

"Just happy to have you be so caring to me," He whined out as you gently covered him with a thin blanket, kissing his cheek.

"Try and get some sleep, there's a bucket beside the bed just in case you feel ill again." You promised him, hoping the anti-sickness tablets would help him even a little. He whimpered a little but nodded, his eyes fluttering shut as he was barely able to keep them open much longer.

MINHO:

Whenever Minho knew he was getting sick he was the type to sneak away and suffer in silence, he didn't want to be a burden to anyone else and he would hide as much as humanly possible. Only this time when he'd shown up to the dorms you were already standing in the kitchen and cooking something that smelled as though it unclogged his sinuses the second he took a bite.

"Good, you're back." You smiled warmly at him, running your hands over the apron you were wearing before making your way toward him. You took the overnight bag from his arms and placed it on the sofa,

"Go and jump in the bath I made for you," You ran your hands over his cheeks and felt how hot he was running despite it being below-freezing outside. 

"How did you know where I was?" He'd made sure to make the guy's promise not to tell you that he was coming to rest. They were under strict orders to tell you he was needed for practice a lot, he hated lying to you but he didn't want you to get sick and he didn't want to burden you.

"Minho, we've been together for a year, if you think I don't know where you slink off to whenever you're sick then we have a problem." You joked softly, placing a soft kiss on his jaw before making your way back to the kitchen.

As soon as he was done he was dressed in some PJs you'd laid out on the bed for him and the soup was waiting for him on the kitchen table,

"What did you make?" His voice was hoarse from how hard he'd been coughing lately,

"It's a soup, my grandmother used to make it whenever I got a cold, it's soft on your throat but it'll unclog your nose," You promised him as he sat down beside you, a small smile tugging on the corners of his lips.

"Thank you," He whispered,

"I know you hate it when people help you but I want to do this, baby, I want to help." You told him as you ran your hand over his, gently rubbing his skin as he nodded shyly at you. 

"I feel like a burden when I'm sick," He admitted begrudgingly.

"Don't. I enjoy getting to pamper you, usually, it's always you that pampers me," You laughed softly, giving him a spoon and starting to eat the soup together.

CHANGBIN:

A crash sounding from the living room made you jolt awake and reach for Changbin who wasn't beside you, your eyebrows knitted together as you stared down wondering where he was. It was almost two in the morning and it wasn't like him to get home so late from work, or even from parties whenever he and the boys were celebrating. 

"Shit," You heard a voice mumble before laughter sounded from the living room, followed by another crash making you head that way only to find Changbin bent down trying to clean something up from the floor. You flicked the light switch on only to find him trying to clean up glass.

"Binnie, what-"

"Shh! I can't wake Yn up," He laughed again, his body swaying slightly and you instantly knew what was wrong with him, he'd clearly been drinking too much that night.

"Lay down," You ordered, forcing him down onto the sofa and trying to get a good look at his hand, luckily he hadn't cut it on his gallant effort to clean up the broken vase that scattered the floors.

"Ynnnnn!" He yelled before he got that look on his face, his hands holding his stomach and you quickly darted to the kitchen, grabbing a bucket and running back to him, just in time before he barfed into the bucket you were holding. 

"Sorry," He grumbles, his head spinning as he held onto the bucket and kept his head inside, not daring to lift it in case he threw up again. You stared at him and shook your head, you knew that they were celebrating finishing their album tonight but you had no idea he'd come back to you like this. If you had, you would have prepared everything for him already.

"Don't move, okay?" You stared at him as he held up a thumb and you began to work your magic. Cleaning up the glass from the floor as good as you could before heading into the kitchen and grabbing some water, painkillers and orange juice. Adding everything onto a tray before making sure to grab him some plain bread to eat as soon as he was done throwing up. 

"You're the best," He told you as you placed the tray down on the coffee table and ran your fingers through his hair,

"I know," You teased, smirking down at him as he groaned, throwing up once again into the bucket in his hands, followed by a moan of disgust.

"I'm never drinking again," He told you, making you roll your eyes playfully,

"How many times have we been in this exact situation and you say that exact sentence?" You laughed, rubbing his back softly as he mumbled something about "meaning it this time."

HYUNJIN:

You pushed open the door to your shared apartment you had with Hyunjin and frowned a little, the usual welcoming scent of lavender you had burning was missing. Instead, a faint, unfamiliar mustiness hung in the air.

"Hyunjin?" You called out, walking further into the apartment and dropping off your bags, something was clearly wrong if there was no response from him. Hyunjin had been complaining about a headache the night before, but he brushed it off as a side effect of practising all day.  

"hyunnie?" You called out again, louder this time, as you made your way through the apartment toward the bedroom where you found the door slightly ajar.

There you found Hyunjin lying sprawled on the bed, a thin sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead. A pillow over his head as he grumbled something about you being too loud. You hurried to his side, kneeling beside the bed and sighing a little, you slowly peeled back the pillow to find him screwing his eyes shut. The light hurt his eyes.

"Hey," You said softly, brushing a damp strand of hair from his forehead. "You're burning up. Why didn't you call me?" You breathed out,

"I didn't want to worry you," he mumbled, his eyes closing again as you shook your head at him, you hated when he refused to ask for help.

"I'm going to take care of you," You promised, taking in the sight of him and the bed, he did not look comfortable at all. 

"Let's get you comfortable first." You carefully untangled the sheets from around him, helping him sit up enough to drink some water. He sipped gratefully, his parched lips parting for more. Next, you rushed to the windows, opening them slightly but pulling the blinds down so the light from the afternoon sun wouldn't bother him.

You spent the next few hours by his side. You changed the washcloth on his head regularly, fetched medicine, and coaxed him into drinking more fluids. You'd told the boys he wouldn't be going to work for a few days and made sure he was going to be on bed rest for a while, or at least until he was better.

"You're the best partner anyone could ever wish for." He mumbled, his voice hoarse as you carefully handed him some tea, smiling warmly at him.

"Just drink the tea, no flirting." You winked at him before he sipped on the warm drink you'd made for him.

JISUNG:

Jisung had been under a lot of stress lately at work which should have been your first hint at what sight was going to await you as you walked into the dorms one night after work. Jisung was sprawled out on the sofa, looking as though he'd been through a week of no sleep and hadn't eaten properly.

"What are you doing here?" He hadn't meant for it to come out the way it had but he hadn't expected to see you tonight, he'd been looking forward to rotting away on the sofa for the entire night. 

"It's date night," You reminded him, pointing down at your outside that you'd spent hours picking before laying your bag down and kneeling beside Jisung who looked heartbroken that he had forgotten the date. 

"Babe...I-I'm sorry." He stuttered out but you'd put your hand on his forehead and bit down on your lip, he was already spiking a fever and you hadn't been here to know how long or how bad he had been. 

"Shh, it's fine. We can have a cosy night in." You suggested, shrugging off your jacket and going to search their cabinets in look for anything other than food. They had to have some sort of medication for when they got sick, right?

"Sit up," You whispered as you sat in front of Jisung, holding a jar of vapour rub in your hand and waiting for your boyfriend to inch forward. As soon as he did you carefully began to rub the cream into his chest, making sure your hands were warm enough so you didn't shock him.

"Thank you," He groaned, his voice sounding as though he'd been swallowing sand paper all day.

"I'll make you some tea and we can watch Howl's moving castle." You suggested, gently running your fingers through his hair and smiling at him with a warm smile.

FELIX:

You'd woken up earlier than intended this morning, went and made breakfast and came back to the bedroom to find Felix sitting up in the bed, his head in his hands as he tried to calm himself down from the wave of dizziness that had met him when he woke up. 

"You look like shit," You offered as you saw the state of him, trying to tease him softly.

"Thanks, that's really nice to hear from the love of my life," He coughed out with a weak smile, his voice sounded like he'd been eating nails for days and you hated that he was getting sick. 

"You should have texted me," You mumbled, running your hand over his head and checking for a fever, he was already starting to burn up which only confirmed that he was getting sick. 

"I don't want to bother you," He mumbled, his body aching as he laid down in the sheets and snuggled against them. Felix hated this, he was normally the caring one in the relationship. He wanted to be the one to look after you and right now he felt as though he was failing that.

"You're never a bother, Lixie." You whined at him, his eyes struggling to stay open as he gave into the feeling of what his body was telling him.

When he woke up again, the smell of chamomile and honey filled the air and you were sitting at the edge of his bed with a tray on your lap.

"Drink." You ordered, holding up a small cup of steaming tea, Felix knew better than to fight you on it and he took a sip, the warm liquid soothing his throat,

"You didn't have to do this." He coughed out, sitting up slightly and leaning against the headboard,

"Of course I did," You smirked as you replied. "You're always taking care of me. Let me return the favour." Felix sighed at you, pouting a little as he looked down at himself, stuck in bed for god knows how long. 

"I just hate being useless." You hated that he was beating himself up so much so you ran your hand over his cheek,

 "You're not useless, Lix. You're just human. Everyone gets sick."

"Not you," he mumbled.

"Especially me," You corrected, scoffing a little as you remembered the last time you'd gotten so sick you couldn't leave your bed. 

"Remember last winter when I had the flu? You stayed up all night making sure I was okay. It's my turn now." Felix frowned, his stubbornness warring a little since he knew you were right.

 "I just want to be the one taking care of you. It makes me feel… I don’t know, like I’m doing something right." Your expression softened as you reached out, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. 

"You do so much right, Lixie. You don't need to prove anything to me. Let me take care of you this time, okay?" He thought about it for a moment before nodding his head, relaxing against the pillows as you spent the night looking after him. Bringing him soup, fluffing his pillows, giving him everything he could ever need and more.

SEUNGMIN:

All week long Seungmin had been giving you the brush off whenever you tried to get him to go to yours or when you suggested going to spend time with him, you began to worry a little that something was really wrong and as you stepped into his apartment your fears were confirmed. 

"Kim Seungmin." You cried out seeing him lying on the sofa, sweat dripping down his forehead as he coughed into a tissue and whined at you for being too loud.

"Go home." He grumbled, a little harsher than he wanted but he couldn't risk you getting sick because of him, the last thing he wanted was for you to end up the way he was feeling right now. 

"No." You laughed, dropping your jacket onto the coat hook and making your way to the kitchen where you knew he had things he needed. 

"yn." He coughed up but you ignored him, preparing some tea before bringing it to him, laying it down on the coffee table and staring down at your boyfriend who appeared to be pouting at you.

"You're cute when you're pouting," You smirked, kissing his cheek softly before he moved away from you,

"You'll get sick," He moaned, shaking his head at you and covering his mouth with a tissue as if it was going to stop the germs from getting to you.

"I'll be fine, just let me take care of you." You stayed where you were standing and he sighed, knowing better than to argue with you about something since you were just as stubborn as him usually. 

"Go to bed, I'll clean up and make you some soup." He nodded, sluggishly making his way to his room and getting under the sheets, shutting his eyes for a few minutes.

A few days later Seungmin finally began to feel human again and you'd cleaned up the entire apartment, opening the windows for fresh air and bringing him hot soup for every meal so he would be nursed back to health. 

JEONGIN: 

You always said you had a sixth sense about when those you cared about were going to get sick which was probably why you'd walked into your home after work one night already carrying everything you were going to need to help Jeongin feel better.

"How did you know?" He mumbled as he saw the pharmacy bag in your hand as well as a grocery bag that seemed to be filled to the brim with ingredients. 

"Because I'm secretly magic," You smirked, hating to see him laid up on the sofa surrounded by tissues, his nose already red from blowing it so much and you smiled weakly. 

"Magcially good looking." He said, trying to pass the comment off as flirty but because he was sick it just didn't work and he coughed into his hands, whining a little at the pain in his chest.

"Come on, take these baby." You offered, handing him the box of flu tablets before opening a fresh bottle of water and taking away the one he had been using.

"From now on, a fresh bottle every time or let me wash the one you're using." You instructed him, taking some of the rubs you'd gotten from the doctors and gently massaging it into his bare chest, watching as he stared at you with love in his eyes. As much as Jeongin hated being sick he adored this caring side of you, getting to be pampered by you was one of his favourite things in the world.

"Are you going to make your famous soup?" He shouldn't have sounded as excited as he did but you only ever made it when someone was sick and refused to do it any other time.

"Yes. But only if you go and get in a warm bath, let your body soak." You kissed his cheek and watched as he practically raced to the bathroom.

@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @toplinehyunjin @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @choisoorin @straykids5star @midnightfrog625 @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @halesandy @junhannies @gothic4under4lord @lixie-phoria @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lensfilm @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @kpopsstuffs @chaeyoungs @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @niktwazny303 @moonlight-the-writer @armystay89 @hadassahchan @yxngbxkkie @myyouthdonut @extrhotjne @ca11me3mily @elissasimp @piercedddriver

[heeliopheelia]

"just hold me" (jay x reader)

genre: fluff word count: 0.6k requested by nonnie ♡

a/n: hello, it's your very much sleep deprived crazy writer again :)) i planned on posting a shorter drabble tonight but i think i'm literally just unable to write anything under 0.5k... i'll try the next time tho!! hope you guys like this one, i kinda love but hate it at the same time <33

masterlist

"Jay," you whine, trying to wiggle out of his grip weakly. "Get off. It's too hot."

"I don't care, I'm cold," he scoffs as he pulls you closer, arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

As much as you love cuddling your boyfriend and it's a rare occasion that he actually wants it more than you do, the stuffiness in your bedroom is already enough to prevent you from laying comfortably. And with Jay's body heat added to that? Au revoir good night's sleep.

"Then put your goddamn shirt on," you grumble, finally succeeding at prying his hand away from you.

Jay huffs, pressing his lips to the back of your ear. "I would but you're the one wearing it now."

A smile creeps upon your lips and you press them together to contain your laughter somehow. The black fabric of his favorite t-shirt is indeed snugly wrapped around your body. You're glad your back is turned to your boyfriend's face as you know that the second he would've noticed your smile, you wouldn't be standing a chance against him anymore and you'd have to surrender yourself to a whole night of the sweet suffocation.

When you feel his hand sneaking around your waist again, you're quick to slap it away, covering up your laugh with a loud cough.

"You're mean," he pouts which is so out of character for him and only makes the urge to laugh and give in harder for you.

So instead you wave your hand at him dismissively. "Go to sleep, you big baby."

You listen to his steady breathing for long enough to determine that he's most likely already asleep, slowly, you wiggle yourself backwards until your back meets his toned chest.

And you can hear his incoherent mumbling of fine's and whatever's underneath his nose before the blissful silence comes upon you two at last. You sigh from tiredness, feeling the burden of entire day weighting down on your eyelids with each minute.

There's one thing missing though – one significant detail that fends off your very needed sleep no matter how hard you try to put this feeling to an end. And then after two more minutes of trying, you give up with a sigh, well aware that there are no real chances of you actually falling asleep tonight without feeling Jay's arms around your body.

"Well, would you look at that? Knew you'd come crawling back," he teases only one second later and you close your eyes, realizing you've just been caught acting up against your own pride. "Just can't get enough of me, can you?"

"Shut up," you mumble, pushing your body even more into his chest, ignoring his snickering. "Just hold me, please?"

Jay huffs out a laughter and you can just hear the teasing smile that spreads on his pretty lips. "You're always so cute when you're sleepy. As you wish, my baby."

Without needing to prompt him any further, his arms wrap around you in an instant, his body heat engulfing you pleasantly. You're too tired to pay any mind to being too hot, and you just sigh out of content, snuggling even closer to him. His fingers slip underneath the hem of his your t-shirt and he caresses your skin with his calloused thumbs soothingly. Now, with your boyfriend's lips on your neck and his slow breathing matching its pace with yours, you allow the tiredness to take over and you finally fall asleep, tightly tucked in Jay's arms.

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @satoruskitchenrag @ramenoil @jenjnk

[talaok]

His favorite patient

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x reader

Summary: Your friend Pedro takes care of you while you're sick, and he's such a good doctor, that something sparks between the two of you.

warnings: reader being sick and having a fever (?) and my shitty writing cause im tired

(this was a request, and a very beautiful one too)

All you had done was text him that you were sick, and the next thing you knew, he was knocking at your door. 

And that wasn't even the weirdest part, the weirdest part was that you weren't surprised, because that's how Pedro was, caring, protective, and always there for you, no matter what.

The first thing he'd done as you opened the door was scolding you for even being up, and consequently, the second was ushering you to your own couch and forcing you to sit down.

You laughed the whole time at how worried he was, but then again, your genuine gratitude shined through with his every act, a gentle smile and a "thank you" spilled out of your lips the moment he made you tea, or wrapped you up in a blanket, or pulled you into his chest when the cover stopped being enough.

You remained like that, hiding in his arm while watching tv for the whole afternoon, but unfortunately, after he'd made you some soup (which you had tried convincing you could cook on your own) and ate it with you, it was time for him to go. 

So with a heavy heart and a final hug, he was gone... only to return 2 minutes later.

"Missed me already?" you joked, opening the door again

"Always" he smiled, before getting more serious "I have a problem with my car" he explained "It's not turning on, and I-" he scratched the back of his neck, trailing off "I kind of have no way of getting home"

"oh" you breathed, understanding the situation "You can just stay here" You shrugged, the solution obvious in your eyes

"Are you sure? I don't wanna be a burden or anythin-"

"a burden?" you frowned, stunned "What are you talking about Pedro, you could never be a burden" you promised, inviting him in again "and plus... I feel safer with my own personal doctor here with me" you grinned playfully

"yeah?" he laughed "Well then how could I refuse to help my favorite patient?"

"Favorite?" you gasped, feigning flatter as your right hand went to your heart "You're gonna make me blush doctor"

He snorted at that, his eyes lingering on yours for a second too long.

"Well then, the doctor's ordering bed rest"

You scowled at him, rolling your eyes

"I'm already starting to regret my decision" you muttered, but in no time, you were laid beneath the covers, ready to go to sleep.

"Ok then you're all set, I'll go prep the couch" he said, starting for the door

"what?" you asked

"the couch, I need to-"

You stopped him before he could go on

"You're not sleeping on the couch Pedro" you stated, watching his brows frown "It's uncomfortable as hell" you explained "and there's enough room here for the both of us" Your eyes went to the empty spot beside you

"Oh- no, y/n I can't"

"yes, yes you can" you interrupted him again "And you will" you decided "I'm sick, so that means you have to do whatever I tell you"

"sweetheart..."he sighed, glaring at you

"please" you pouted, "It would make me feel better knowing you're close to me" you pleaded, your best puppy eyes on you.

And what could Pedro do but not agree when you were looking at him like that? He was only a man after all.

"alright" he grumbled, "but I hope you know that means you'll have to hear me snore the whooole night"

But as it turns out, you didn't.

Your fever started going up the moment you shut off the lights, you turned and tossed the whole night, while him... he stayed up with you, checking your fever, giving you medicine and placing wet cold cloths on your forehead, until finally... you started feeling better and began drifting off... if only, of course, those damned church bells hadn't rung.

But even then, Pedro was there, placing his hands on your ears to try and protect you from the noise, and once they stopped, once he had gotten a taste of how good it felt to stay so close to you, well then he didn't have it in him to lean away, so he did the opposite: he put his arm around you and pulled you close, gently whispering "You need to rest", before inevitably, you did as told.

And it was only the morning after that you remembered all of it, it was only once you woke up, his arm still reassuringly around you, his words still reverberating in your ear, that you realized everything.

"good morning" he murmured, his head nestled into your neck

"morning" you smiled, your voice hoarse as you turned around to look at him, finding him but an inch from your face... and yet he didn't lean away.

"thank you" you whispered "for everything"

"darling I'm always gonna be here for you, whatever you need"

You smiled wide, watching his eyes fall to your lips 

"stop it" you murmured

"stop what?" he laughed

"being so nice"

"why?" he asked, smiling

You bit your lip, pondering if saying what you wanted to say really was a good idea... but then again, it was the truth, so...

"'cause you're making me want to kiss you"

"'s that right?" he smirked, inching closer

"mh-mh" 

"and what's stopping you?"

"I don't want you to get sick" you said, watching him huff a laugh

"sweetheart" he shook his head, grinning brightly "I would catch a thousand colds if it meant I got to kiss you"

And although your heart skipped a beat, you couldn't help but laugh out a quick "that's disgusting", before his lips finally met with yours.

[justwonder113]

Showering Lee Know with affection

Bang Chan; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

I wanted to make this a drabble but i have literally no control

Summary: You've been waiting for Minho to make a move for ages, so what happens when he actually does?

Warning: Best friends to lovers. Reader feels anxious but nothing over the top. Some cursing. Reader is a bit on the timid side at first but she gets bold. Minho and reader banter with each other. Worried Minho. Reader is whipped for Minho ( who isn't honestly). Not proofread Word count-2470

A/N - I'm thinking to write " showering him with affection" fic with every member. I will try to write and upload Changbin's as soon as I can. Please feel free to interact, I will gladly hear anything you have to say. Requests are open too, so if you want me to write something I'll do my best❤️

It was one of those days that took your whole energy away, and desperately made you wish you were in bed cocooned in your fluffiest blankets and chill without a care in the world. Thankfully you didn't have that much to do that day, you were just feeling passive. But, unfortunately, you couldn't say the same about your best friend. With comeback being just around the corner he and boys had been working their butts off. You desperately wished there was something you could do to help him in any way, to lessen his burden, but there was so much you could do.

You sighed and looked at your chat with Minho. He had not been on contact for 7 hours now. The last text said that he would text you when he had time but here you were now, still not a word from him.

You looked out the window, the city looked unusually calm but maybe it was because you were feeling bit detached. It was also one of the nights where sleep didn't come so easy. You were feeling sore all over and tired out of your mind but, despite that, you couldn't keep your eyes shut. Maybe it was because you were worried about Minho, maybe it was because you missed him so much you felt like you were missing a part of yourself. It's been days since you last saw him. You knew how busy he could get, especially when he had comback like this, but you couldn't help but worry, more so when you knew how hardworking and perfectionist he was. It wouldn't be a surprise if he, even at this hour, was at the company working his butt off. Sometimes the urge to just smack him was too strong. You both loved and hated these qualities of his-his dedication and sense of responsibility was something to admire yes, but you hated that because of this he owerworked himself to sheer exaustion, you hated that he worked sometimes so hard that he even forgot to eat. In times like this you tried to remind him regularly to take care of himself, also, whenever you could, you tried to bring him food but you could do so much. You were also mad that you had to be so busy you also didn't have time to be as there for him as you wanted. You just had to be loaded with work too.

You sighed yet again and stood up, sulking to yourself wouldn't do much good, so you would at least be productive. Also, maybe if you tired yourself more maybe you would actually be able to sleep at least some hours. You walked to the fridge and started scanning the products, pondering what you could make that would be both nutrtitious and healthy. Knowing your friends they would be mostly eating takeout and junkfood so it would be good if they ate something healthy and homemade. You were sure they woud appreciate it.

You started preparing everything while listening to a true crime podcast your friend recommended earlier. You were getting excited by the second, knowing your gesture would make him happy. The mere thought of seeing him smiling and content filled your heart with joy. Yes, you were whipped for him, but who could be immune to his charms? You felt like you had loved him since forever, you were not sure when you started developing feelings for him, but when you did you fell hard and quickly. Unfortunately for you though, you were a bit of a coward and you chose to stay in the in the comfort zone of friendship, terrified to ruin everything you two had. It was sometimes infuriating, especially when you knew that your feelings toward each other was more than platonic, there was always something more, you knew he felt something for you but neither of you did anything about it. You came in harmony with the fact that you were not initiative person like that, the person who made first moves, okay, but Minho? His lack of action made you withdraw more and it sometimes made you feel like you were deluding yourself.

Sometimes it got tiring tho, waiting and waiting for the other person to at least give you more than a hint that they returned your feelings, something just something! There were even times when you wished he would at least turn you down, so you would have a reason to move on, to stop holding on the moss.

Being this lost in the thought you didn't even realize when your front door opened, you were only startled out of the bones when you felt two strong arms wrap around your waist. Your first instinct was to grab something to use to defend yourself, but as soon as the familiar scent of bodywash and the hint of cologne hit your nose you quickly realized that your intruder was Minho.

With a hand on your chest and scowl adorning your face you turned in his hold to scold him. "What the hell Minho? What happened to knocking?" You couldn't help but scold, why did he have to be stealthy like a cat?

Any hint of anger died the instant you took his image in. The exhaustion was evident on his figure and he was out of breath, had he been running?, his eyes were bloodshot and he had dark eyebags, he looked paler, and maybe even skinnier too. Had he not been eating at all? You carefully started examining him, worry apparent on your eyes. "Have you been taking care of yourself at all? What the hell Minho? What brought you here? Why aren't you at your house sleeping? Did something happen?.." You were ready to throw hundred more questions but he quickly stopped you by putting his hands on your shoulder, the corners of his mouth slightly lifted.

"Breathe princess." His soft voice made you realize that you vere rambling.

"Oh, okay, sorry." You brought all your attention to him now and Minho decided to flick your head now, you quickly rubbed the place "what was that for you asshole?"

"Where the fuck is your phone?"

" I don't know dude! Probably somewhere here why? "

Minho took a deep breath and glared at you. "I thought I would come by and crash at your place, when I saw that you had your lights on so you were awake. I banged on your door for like 10 minutes, no answer. I call like ten times no answer okay Maybe you fell asleep, but I hear man's voice and something about blood? Thankfully I had your spare key on me or else I would've broken your door now. " You felt guiltier by the second, Minho looked really worried too, you had to lighten up the situation.

"Aww you do love me," you started cooing and you wrapped his frigid body into a hug, Minho made a point to be as much like a stick as he could.

"Why are we friends again?" Minho grumbled but he didn't look annoyed anymore, you grinned and started leading him to a table.

"Because I'm amazing, and you love me and I made your favourite" you dramatically gestured at the food which was now ready and looked good as ever.

"Looks good," he muttered out softly as he lightly patted your hair which he knew you didn't appreciate that much, "Still mad tho."

" How about we cuddle after it? I'll even massage your scalp." You suggest knowing this would crack him up.

And it did he gave you one last side eye but gave up, oriented on food. " Okay deal."

You two ate in silence, not really giving a damn that it was the middle of the night and it was not at all healthy, talking calmly about what you two have been up to while you didn't see each other, with Minho sometimes interrupting both you and himself to say again and again that food was delicious and just what he needed. He told you all about their progress in dance rehearsals, in what parts in choreo he had trouble, of course without spoiling you about the album, loving to tease you as always. Second after second you realized just how much you've missed this, just existing together not having to worry about anything. That's what you loved the most being with him, he made you feel so safe and comfortable, even though you two constantly got on each other's nerves, he was your safe space and you tried your best to be his.

After a while you two were snuggled up in your bed, all washed up and content. You slowly scratching his scalp while he basically laid on top of you, with his head on your tummy. You just loved how silky smooth his hair was, but what you loved the most was sleepy Minho. It was whole another level adorable.

"don't you wanna get under the covers so we can actually sleep?" You hummed out and slightly tugged harder at his hair knowing he liked it. He lazily looked up, eyes half closed, feeling a bit dazed.

"Feel lazy." You couldn't help but smile, "come on babe get up, I promise I won't stop scratching your head." You waited for an answer while he stared at you. You pondered for a second, why was he staring at you like that? You had been addressing each other like couple for a while,(manifesting at it's best) so there was nothing new about that. Was there something on your face? You literally washed it minutes ago. "What is it min?" Minho slightly furrowed his eyebrows and hid his face, "you're beautiful"

You were sure you heard him right but you had to make sure. "What? Couldn't hear you pretty boy." He looked at you with a scowl

"Don't make me say it." You grinned at him.

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?" Minho sighed and got up, he leaned in so that his face was in front of you, his presence intervening with yours, you blinked at him slowly awaiting for him.

"You're beautiful" you felt like you couldn't breathe, he looked so deep into your eyes you felt like your soul was naked, you felt so vulnerable. You smirked deciding to challenge him.

"What are you going to do about it?" You were internally screaming, you saw someone say to do this on internet, you couldn't believe you actually had the balls to say it.

Minho looked at you with dark eyes, his face not giving away what he was thinking, you suddenly had the urge to back down, however before you could act on it he decided to lean in and capture your lips in a kiss.

Your whole world was spinning, was this really happening to you? Was the man you had been pining over for years, your best friend, the man of your dreams kissing you like there was no tomorrow?

His lips felt so soft you felt like you could melt. You quickly put your hands around his neck and tried to return the kiss with the same vigor but you doubted it was possible. Minho was kissing you so passionately it almost felt like he was about to devour you, yet, at the same time, he held you like you were the most fragile thing to ever exist, you've never felt more loved and cherished. And most of all you've never felt more alive than this. You were sure you felt every cell in your body ignite and come alive. If someone were to offer you ability to stop time you would freeze this moment so you could relieve it again and again.

"How come we've never done this?" Minho asked after he broke off the kiss. You were amazed how he was able to talk when you felt like you couldn't breathe at all.

" I don't know Min, why haven't you done so before?" You smiled and softly kissed his lips, him chasing after it had you chuckling.

"Must've been a fool, considering I've been in love with you for years" he leaned in again to seal your lips but you willed yourself to break it.

"You love me?"

"I do, I love you." Was it possible to pull a muscle from smiling?

"Say it again" you leaned in now, your fingers carefully fixing his strand of stray hair on his forehead, carefully examining his pretty features, seeing his flushed face had you questioning how would you even look right now.

"I love you" he said your name so tenderly it had you melting yet again. You gave him a wide smile and captured his pretty lips in a kiss again, now feeling shivers run down his body. His hands automatically found their place around your waist, bringing you as close as possible, now you were sat comfortably in his lap, as if it was made just for you. "I'm taking this as a sign you love me back?" God you loved his smile.

"I'll prove just how much I love you all right." You slid your hands to his shoulders and started littering tiny little kisses everywhere possible, his lips, his cheeks, his nose, his forehead, his jaw his neck while muttering just how much you liked his every little feature, how you loved how kind, sweet, generous, interesting and overall amazing person he was. Of course you used far more adjectives being sure that every positive one could be used to describe him. You wanted to show him just how much you loved and appreciated him.

You only stopped your actions when your lips felt so numb it felt like they would fall off any second now. "Are you convinced now pretty boy?" You asked loving, satisfied with his dazed expression. Flustered Minho was your favorite Minho, you were sure of it. Pink looked so good on him, it was adorable how his ears flushed followed by his cheeks and neck with your actions. He looked beyond yummy. Minho smiled and layed you both on the bed.

" I don't know princess, I think I need some more kisses just to be sure. " Minho shrugged and winked at you mischeviously.

You rolled your eyes but who were you to deny?

After a while you fell asleep, safely cocooned in his arms feeling safe and content, his arms tightly held you close to him as if he was afraid to let you go even for a second, his hold on you not loosening even for a second, despite him being dead asleep, he was so adorable like this. You were sure your heart had never felt so content, he really was your comfort space.

[honeybubblebeeeeee]

Toji is 100% the older, rich boyfriend that will throw money at any of your problems because he actually hates seeing you upset when it comes to finances.

Being a university student and working part time, you have a lot going on and a decent amount to pay for. You are not estranged from your parents per say but they aren't ones to help out either. You never ask for help because that's what you're used to but you also feel bad asking for money so you never will.

Toji came back to your shared apartment. He of course had to practically pry you out of your old sketchy apartment because you didn't want to 'burden' him. You had insisted on paying half of the rent, bills and groceries but Toji just wanted you to be comfortable. You had worn him down for groceries and paying your car and phone but that was it.

"Angel? You in here doll?" He hunted through the apartment looking for you. Finally he found you in the bedroom, hunched over your laptop quiet tears fell from your eyes.

Your eyes snapped to him when he came in the room. You forced a smile, sniffling. "Oh you're home early. How was work?" You spoke so nonchalantly as if you obviously weren't crying.

"Why are you crying?" Toji tried to see what was on your laptop but you snapped it shut and wiped your face.

"Oh, I'm not I just keep yawning." A very forced yawn came out of you and you wiped your eyes again.

He almost wanted to clap at your attempt to cover it up. You moved off the bed and went to walk past him to the bathroom but his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you against him.

"What's wrong doll? Tell me who's got you upset so I can fix that real quick." His mischievous smirk made you giggle through the sniffling.

"It's nothing. It's stupid anyway." He tilted your head up to look at him. "I don't care what it was angel. Tell me."

You knew he wouldn't relent. Sighing, you looked down at your hands as you spoke. "My school offered me a month abroad for a course.... but then I found out that my sponsor pulled my funding and now I don't know if I can afford it and I really wanted to go and ugh it's stupid. I just applied too so now I don't know whether to pull my application or try to make it work somehow." Toji's features softened as you rambled on. He did remember you telling him about all the abroad courses and he agreed then and now that you deserve to go.

He chuckled, cradling your head as he pulled you against his chest. "Baby, you have a sponsor still. You're going on that trip. So, stop the tears, alright?"

You sighed and tried to pull away from him. "I just told you I don't have a sponsor anymore."

Toji picked you up and threw you to the bed. You laughed as you bounced. "Close your eyes angel." You rolled your eyes at him before closing them.

You tried to focus on your hearing to tell what he was doing. You opened your eyes as you felt objects softly hit your skin.

"Toji!"

Toji was quite literally throwing money at you. Then after there was no more cash, he dropped a handful of different bank cards into your lap.

"Like I said, you're going. No more tears and I don't wanna hear any arguments or I'll go to your school and pay for it myself." He softly gripped your chin, planting a soft kiss on your lips.

~ ~ ~ ~

random draft i just never posted, am working on requests so THANK YOU SM FOR SENDING i just want them to be good so im taking my time <3

[wondersinwaynemanor]

here i go again with "big brother dick grayson strikes again" prompts.

thinking of Dick probably helping his siblings on their first dates and offering to take them to the location.

Dick to Jason: Hey, Little Wing. I know you can take one of your motorcycles, but let me take you. You can just focus on being pretty.

Jason: Shut up, Dick. But, are you sure? I don't know why my hands feel a bit numb-

Dick, takes Jason's hands on his to warm them up and untighten the nerves there: It's okay. I got you. You're okay. It's going to be okay. Don't stress yourself out.

Jason: I know I fucked up many times, Dick. I don't want.. I don't know what to do if I fuck this up.

Dick, brings Jason closer: Shh. You won't, Jay. You're very smart and strong, and so so caring and you don't even realize it it. Ask the kids at the Alley, they idolize you. Roy adores you and everything you do. He knows who you are. And trust me, I'm not that bitter anymore of one of my best friends dating my younger brother.

Jason smiles which warms Dick's heart, making him smile too.

Dick: Plus, we wouldn't want Ollie to think that a Wayne cannot dress up and be romantic right?

Jason grins this time.

Dick to Tim: Timmy, I have a great idea! I'll drive you there. I know you're tired from work already. Just let me know which restaurant then you can rest a bit when we travel there.

Tim: It's okay, Dick. You're also tired from your shift. I'll just let Kon know I'll be late for a few-

Dick: No, no. If you want to rest first, let him know, he'll understand. But I'll still take you.

Tim: But, Dick...

Dick: Nah-uh. I didn't drive you to prom, remember? Let me do this, Baby Bird. And for me to also look out for Lex, just in case he bothers Conner again. We don't want that happening in the middle of your date.

Tim, laughs: Well, Kon will just have to drag Lex's ass to space.

Dick laughs with him.

Dick to Cass: Aww, you look beautiful, Cass. So where you going? Where will you meet Steph?

Cass, fixing her necklace: By her house.

Dick: Great! I already know where that is. I'll drive you there. We don't want to ruin your beauty. I mean, that's totally impossible, but I want you to just relax before the date.

Cass, blushes: I can do it.

Dick: Of course, you can. But I want to. Pretty please, pretty please. I'm a little protective over my sister.

Cass, rolls her eyes fondly but smiles: Of course. Thank you.

Dick: You're most welcome. And tell Steph if she does something extreme like set some fireworks, tell her to lay off with those energy drinks she started on her diet.

Dick to Duke: Little D, Little D! Don't even try to say no cus maybe your brothers and sister have already told you, but this is kinda my tradition now. I'm taking you to your first date.

Duke: They did tell me. But, Dick.. I don't want to be a burden. Weren't you injured-

Dick: No, no. That was like last week. I'm good. As long as you're good with me to take you, right? Now, I don't want to be the burden.

Duke, smiles: Never.

Dick, smiles and gives Duke a side hug: Then you're never a burden too, Little D. A big bro has to look out for the younger ones. Plus, I can say that you dressing up nice comes from my influence.

Duke, chuckles: Who else am I looking up to, right?

Dick to Damian: Shush, Dami. I know you're dating a super, and he can come and get you without a minute to spare, but tell Jon I'll be taking you.

Damian: Richard, please. I'm already at the right age.

Dick, puts a hand on his little (not so anymore) brother's shoulder and he refuses not to tear up (he fails ofc): I know, you've grown up so much, Dami. So much, since I made you Robin. But please, it will make me really happy to do this. It will give me peace, in some way. It sounds ridiculous, but yes.

Damian, doesn't even try to hide the fond he has on his face: Alright, Richard. I'll let Jon know.

Dick: He's not taking you somewhere out of Gotham or Metropolis, right? Cus then we'll have to take the Batplane.

Damian, chuckles: It's in Metropolis, don't worry.

Dick: Phew. I was as nervous as the time I took Tim on his date.

so....

maybe after a few years on Dick and Wally's wedding day, Dick's younger siblings will be walking with him on the aisle by his side and Bruce, their Father, on his other side of course. and they're thankful that the aisle is wide enough to fit the whole Wayne kids. Dick is a crying mess and he hasn't even reached Wally yet by the end of the aisle. because he's genuinely happy to have his siblings take him to the love of his life this time.

[mustainegf]

→ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟗

I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to find some understanding as my mind spiraled out of control. The only noises in the room were the soft hum of the fan and the steady breaths of James lying beside me. Tomorrow, he'd be off on tour again, and it weighed more and was heavier to handle than I had thought it would be. To me, he'd just got back, and it felt like I was going to lose him all over again.

I shifted, for what felt like the hundredth time, trying to find such a position that my body would agree with. But no matter how I adjusted, I couldn't settle. Not only could I not stop thinking about him leaving... but there was something else I couldn't get our of my head... something that also had to do with James.

James stirred beside me, his voice deep. "You've been tossing and turning," he said softly. "What's goin' on, hun?

I froze, I didn't know how to answer. I didn't want to burden him with just how fragile I had been, how badly I needed him. So I did what I always did in those kinds of vulnerable moments. I deflected.

"Just. hormones," I muttered awkwardly, hoping that would suffice.

"Hormones?" he replied, a hint of a smile weaving its way through his voice. "What kind of hormones?

I swallowed hard, my face starting to heat up. I knew I had to answer him, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for that kind of vulnerability. "It's just… the uh, second trimester," I started, my voice a whisper. "It… it makes me feel… um, you know, horny."

I was instantly regretful that I had said anything. Mortified, really. I squeezed my eyes shut tight. Why did I say that? Why didn't I just blow it off?

After a moment, James scooted beside me, twisting his body so that he faced me. "You've been feeling like that and didn't say anything?

I bit my lip, mortified still. "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," I admitted, keeping my eyes fixed on the popcorn ceiling. "I mean, with your injuries and everything that's been going on with us, it didn't seem right to bring it up…"

Again, the silence stretched, and my nerves were starting to get the better of me. Then James's hand reached out and found mine, his thumb brushing over my knuckles.

"I don't want you to feel like you can't tell me things like that," he said softly. "I'm here. I want to help you... especially if that's how you've been feeling."

It was as if he had removed a boulder from my chest. I turned my head slightly to his direction. His face was still not distinct in the shitty dim light of the room.

"You want to help?" I asked, the words barely audible.

James nodded, his fingers tracing light patterns down my wrist. "I do," he said firmly, filling his voice with warmth and affection. "Look... I love you... and I'm leaving tomorrow... I just- I want to have a chance to love this body of yours before I have to leave..."

I hesitated, something blooming inside me. Of course, I had missed him and yearned for the closeness again, yet wasn't quite sure how it would work. "But… your arm—"

"I'll be fine," he softly interrupted, squeezing my hand. "We can find a way, It doesn't have to be perfect. I just want to be with you."

The tenderness of those words completely disarmed me. I searched his eyes for some sign of doubt or hesitation and found a lot of love instead.

"Are you sure?" I whispered innocently.

He leaned in far enough that his lips brushed against mine in a soft, gentle kiss. "Always," he whispered against my lips. "I want to take care of you."

His voice melted away the last of my reservations. I nodded, my body melting as I accepted his offer.

We began to kiss again, deeper this time. His lips moved slow and sweet over mine, and the fire that was there between us began to build. His good arm wrapped around me, pulling me more into him, his injured one being careful to stay at his side. His hand stroked over my waist down to my belly.

"I don't want to hurt you," I whispered between kisses, my hands running through his long hair.

"You won't," he murmured, his lips meeting mine once more. "I promise."

The connection f our lips deepened as I shifted closer and my hands slid down his chest, feeling his skin beneath my fingertips. He groaned softly against my lips, and the sound reminded me of the many times we'd done this, yet somehow, it was different this time. I'd missed this, missed him.

But the more we shifted, the more I knew common positions were out of the question. His injuries would make it very uncomfortable for him to be on top, and I wouldn't dare do anything to make him hurt even more.

"Here," I said softly, breaking the kiss and moving back just enough to meet his gaze. "I'll ride you," I say gently, nodding.

For a second, James stared at me, in awe and love. "you sure?" he asked gruffly low.

"I want to," I admitted, my palm resting against his chest, feeling the soft hairs. "I want you to be comfortable too..."

He smiled, his hand gliding up to cup my cheek. "You're..." he whispered, his lips finding mine once more. "I love you..."

"I love you too," I said with a whispered voice, shaking with emotion. We started to undress, each movement sensitive and deliber­ate. James watched with wide wonder as I took my shirt off, his eyes feasted on the swollen curve of my belly. His hands were soft and extremely careful against my skin, touching my tummy in wonder, knowing that resting beneath, was his child.

"You're so beautiful," he breathed, his hands gliding over every surface he could reach. "So beautiful."

I went red, more vulnerable than I'd ever felt, but his words were making me safe. Carefully, I straddled him, my knees at either side of his hips, and in a second James's hand found its place on my belly, holding it as if it were the most precious thing in the world. And it was.

"Look at you," he whispered, looking me up and down. He drank in the details, the slight stretch marks on my belly, the way it swelled so warm. "Carrying our baby... I've never seen anything more.. beautiful in my whole life."

Honestly, they were never would I thought I would ever hear him say, and it was making my heart beat faster, my hairs prickle and my skin heat up. I leaned down, my hot mouth covering his, as I readjusted myself and positioned us together. His breath caught as I lowered myself onto him, and a soft moan escaped my lips.

Oh my God. We'd had sex before, yeah, but this? This was way different... fuck, it was good. Every thrust, every gentle push was bringing us closer and closer. James's hand never strayed from either my belly or hip, he worshipped me with every stroke.

"You're p-perfect," he murmured, his voice choked and heavy. "So perfect, baby."

I could feel the tears now, threatening to spill as the moment became too big to hold in. I loved him so much, loved this man who was the father of my child, loved the way he was looking at me now, knowing I was the most important thing in the world.

"James..." I panted as I bounced on him, feeling every agonizing ridge and vein clench inside me. "I love you... oh God, I love you so much."   His hips surged harder against mine, his good arm pulled me into him and we moved together. "I love you," he huffed, his eyes pressed to mine. "You're everything to me... You and our baby.. y-you're everything."

I writhed above him as both of our hips worked in turn, slapping over and over. I think he could tell the effect this was having on me, with the hormones and all.

I couldn't help but thick of how perfectly we fit together, even with the added weight of my pregnancy. Each gentle roll of my hips me whining. Tears spilled down my cheeks as I gazed into James' eyes. I couldn't help the tears, nor control them I was too emotional, too hormonal, and I loved him with all my heart... and fuck, this felt so good. His touch was worshipful as he caressed my belly and traced the contours. James' look softened, his thumb brushing away a tear from my cheek.

I let out a loud whimper, my body squirming for release. Tears continued to shoot freely down my cheeks, mixing with the sweat that coated my skin. "Please, James… I need to cum," I pleaded, my voice breaking with white hot lust.

"It's okay… It's okay for you to cum," he repeated, his tone a comforting murmur against my cheek.

It was too much, and as I came, it wasn't just the pleasure that but the my emotions. All wrapped into that one moment.

I melted against his chest, my face streaked with tears, my body shaking right to my soul as I turned into a puddle of whimpers. James clutched me tight against him, but very softly, his lips pressed to my forehead, my cheeks, my lips.

"Hey, hey," he whispered softly. "It's okay... I've got you. I'm right here."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed, burying my face in his neck. "I don't know why I'm crying."

He leaned in, whispering softly against me, "You don't have to apologize," and stroked my hair softly. "It's just the hormones, right?"

I laughed weakly through my tears, nodding against his skin. "Yeah. probably."

After a few moments, James spoke softly. "Can I finish?" he asked, his tone carefully measured to convey his understanding should I choose otherwise.

I lifted my head slightly, meeting his gaze with a tender smile. I nod, not wanting to leave him uncomfortable. "Yes," I whispered.

As I nestled closer to James, my hand found its way to his throbbing member, wrapping around him with a tender yet firm grip. With every stroke, I poured out my love, my grip passionate.

The feeling of his length pulsing in my hand only fueled my want to please him.

He was singing with praise and moans galore with every stroke of mine. Escaping lips of pleasure, muttered words of gratitude.

My other hand was gently massaging his tense balls, another point of contact, while my mouth went searching for the soft skin of his neck. I nipped and licked at his flesh, planting wet kisses along the line of his collarbone. My actions were mirroring the rhythm in my hand, tugging on his manhood.

As his orgasm very quickly approached, James's words of became a mantra, hurled with every second that passed. "That's it. Just like that.," he husked.

His climax hit him hard, his seed spilling forth in hot sticky bursts across his abdomen. It was a sight to see, watching him lose control, his face contorted in pure bliss. I watched as his seed painted his skin so beautifully.

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, holding me close. "I love you so much," he whispered, his voice all soft gentleness. "I'm here. I'll always be here..."

After a while, James shifted beneath me, easing me off him and settling me back onto the bed. "I'll be right back," he whispered against my forehead.

I watched him stumble naked into the bathroom. I couldn't help but admire his naked body, so masculine and raw. I really was in love with him. Soon, he came returning a few moments later with a warm rag, and a clean stomach. James gently laid me back and helped spread my legs as he carefully cleaned me up. Full of love, and this such a quiet intimacy that bound me closer to him.

When he was done, he tossed the rag aside and got back into bed beside me. He wrapped himself around me, his arm splayed protectively over my belly as he kissed the top of my head.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"For what?" he returned softly.

"For loving me."

He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head again. "I'll love you always, whatever happens."   I buried myself in him as he spoke, my eyes closing, his warmth heating my own. I was exhausted, but wrapped up in James' arms, I was safe. And so was our baby.

[andreawritesit]

The Red Storm

This is my first time writing anything related to One Piece and I'm extremely nervous. I haven't written anything in 2 years so please bear with my abysmal grammar.

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Fandom: One Piece

Pair: Shanks x Reader

- I wanted it to be a one shot but I'll have to write it in two parts (or more, who knows) -

Part 2 : here

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*CRASH!*

This was not how you wanted your morning to start; with a crash so loud, it must’ve been heard across all the seas. Must be those gremlins! you immediately think. Ever since you had agreed to look after those three, your life had become a whole mess. You take a deep breath and get out of bed to take a shower. You have only just put one foot down when you hear Dadan’s scream followed by loud laughter. Of course, they’re at it again. You sigh and hurry up to the bathroom before you are summoned on your devil babysitting duties. Taking your clothes off, you step under the shower, letting the warm water relieve you of your stress for a moment. However, the relief dies down almost immediately as you find your mind going back to the memories you so desperately try to suppress and yet they keep haunting you every day.

-2 years ago, Windmill Village –

“What do you mean you’re leaving without me? You promised me that I could come along the next time!” Your voice echoed in the empty bar. You didn’t care, you were livid. The man put his straw hat on the table and closed his eyes. 

“Look, I’m sorry. I know I promised but where we’re going is not safe at all. You are not ready to go to the Grand Line. It’s very dangerous and I do not want to risk your life-“ Before he could say anything else, you throw a glass at him which he dodges annoyingly easily. He looks at the shattered glass and then at you. “Calm down, please. Let me explain-“

“SHUT UP! I don’t want to hear any excuses! You promised me, Shanks! Leaving without me means this is over, right? You and me?” He looks at you solemnly and tugs you toward himself. You try to push away from him but as soon as you hit his chest, your arms automatically circle around his neck as you try to stop your tears from falling. He holds you close, without saying anything. Hearing his light breaths, you realize this might be the last time you ever see him. You hug him tighter which he reciprocates. 

“Shanks please don’t leave me…”

He doesn’t reply. Not a word. He just kisses the top of your head. After what feels like an eternity, he releases you and you gasp at the sight of his face. There stood Red-haired Shanks, tears coating his slightly flushed cheeks. You put your hand on his cheek and wipe his tears away, while your own tears release from their prison and onto your cheeks. 

“Please forgive me. The path I am going on is very dangerous. I could never drag you into this mess. Maybe you’ll never forgive me. Maybe you’ll never understand. But I’d rather have your hatred than bear your loss.”

You move your hand from his cheek to his hair and touch your forehead to his. You want to be mad at him. You want to hurt him as he was hurting you. But he was right. You had never left the village. You had no idea of the world outside, especially the Grand Line. Even if he does agree to take you along, you’d end up becoming a burden. 

You try to say you understand but your throat feels heavy so you simply nod. Fresh tears paint his face as he cries silently, already mourning the relationship you both had. Ever since he started frequenting the small village, you both stayed close to each other, the closeness only increasing with every meeting. You would wait for him at the docks with Luffy, looking forward to being in his arms again. And now he would never come running down the docks and pick you up into his arms, smothering you in kisses. 

“Hey,” he says softly, “I want you to do something for me.” You chuckle sadly. What could he possibly need from you now…

“I want you to look after Luffy. He’s going to be very sad after we leave. Knowing that you’ll stay with him will give me peace of mind. Please?” 

“Of course, I’ll take care of him.” 

Shanks nods and hugs you again, this time settling you down in his lap. This time he cries loudly and you don’t silence your sobs either. 

The next morning, you wake up to see flowers near your bed with a goodbye note. That was the last time the red-haired storm rustled your life.  

---- present time -----

You don’t realize how long it has been until you hear Dadan knocking at your bathroom door.

“If you don’t come out in a minute, I will break this door apart!” Dadan’s angry voice drags you back to reality and you quickly dry yourself and put some clothes on. As you emerge from the bathroom, Dadan is onto you, grabbing the collar of your new shirt. “Those three gremlins are getting on my nerves! I’ve been calling them for an hour now but they aren’t listening! Gather them or I’ll throw all four of you out of here!”

You sigh and pry your shirt out of her grasp. She takes a step back and raises an eyebrow. “Well?”

“Well, what?” your voice comes out more rude than you wanted it to be. “I mean, where did they go?” you add on quickly.

“The forest, where else! Hurry up and bring their asses back!”

You nod and head out to the forest. You had promised Shanks to look after Luffy but you had no idea what awaited you. After Garp decided to send Luffy to the mountain bandits, you requested to tag along, which he agreed to. You knew it would be dangerous but what you didn’t know was that you were getting a package deal. At first, it seemed that you would go mad over Luffy and Ace but then another one popped up randomly. Now the three of them had become friends and made it their mission to make Dadan’s life a living hell. You were caught in the crossfire. The boys were very fond of you so they often got behind you to escape Dadan’s wrath and Dadan held you responsible for every slight inconvenience caused by them. It was too much sometimes but it was a reprieve. You couldn’t imagine how you would’ve dealt with Shanks’ departure without the three devils. Speaking of whom, you spot them sitting in their tree house. You smile involuntarily and call them out.

“Luffy! Ace! Sabo! Come down. Time to go home or else Dadan won’t give you any food!”

Luffy is the first to come down, of course, he is. He is followed by Sabo and then finally Ace, who is staring daggers at Luffy. You glance at them, feeling the tension rising with every passing second. Luffy, oblivious to his impending ass-whooping, chuckles loudly and tugs at your shirt.

“Let’s go home quickly! Or else I’ll have to sleep hungry!”

You pat his head softly and he gives you the warmest grin in return. Suddenly you’re reminded of Shanks who used to give you the same warm smile whenever you greeted him at the bar. Stupid Shanks! 

Ace lets out a fake cough and suddenly pulls Luffy’s right ear which stretches unnaturally. Luffy screeches like a crow and sends Sabo into a frenzy of laughter. “Ouch!! Ace, what is this for?”

“What is this for? Really? You idiot! When I said don’t go down, why did you jump?”

“Because she said Dadan won’t give us food!”

“Shut up! You broke the brother code! I’m the oldest, you both listen to me!”

Sabo’s face scrunches up at that. “You know, I still think I’m older than you…”

Ace sends the blonde boy a death glare which shuts him up.

Their innocent altercation fills your heart with warmth. You walk up to them and put your hand on Ace’s shoulder. He looks up at you and his cheeks instantly turn pink. The two boys giggle at that and his scowl returns immediately. 

“Ace, come on now. Be easy on your little brother. All he did was obey me.” you say in hopes of pacifying the angry little boy. He sighs and nods. “Well, I’ll let it go because if we don’t return soon, Dadan will be angry at you. But if they do this again, I’ll kick their asses.” You laugh softly and nod in agreement. “Let’s go then.” 

You start walking back to the house with the three gremlins following you, unaware of the red-haired storm that is making its way back into your life. 

[animeomegas]

How would Shikamaru and his alpha react to finding out he’s pregnant again? Like they planned on one or two and already have three and now pregnant with a fourth because their birth control keeps failing. Especially if people think Shikamaru is doing it on purpose because of his obsession.

I have a feeling that this isn't what you had in mind lol, but here we are XD

cw: abortion

"It's positive?" you asked as Shikamaru came out of the bathroom, looking exhausted.

"Yep," he said, collapsing down on the sofa next to you with his eyes closed. You heard the muffled sounds of some sort of children's toy activating as he sat on it, but you both ignored it.

"Again?"

"Yep."

"Damn," you let out a breath and sank back into the couch until you were fully reclining just like your mate.

You both sat in silence for a while as the information sank in. You already had three children, an eight-year-old daughter, and two sons, five and three respectively. Your eldest was the only one you had planned.

"What are we going to do?" you asked finally. "We can afford it money wise, but we're spread thin as it is, another baby would-"

"Stop talking," Shikamaru said firmly, stopping you in your tracks. He opened his eyes and heaved himself upright. "If you speak about it out loud, my obsession instinct might...it might..."

"It might trigger and get weird like last time," you finished in sudden realisation, remembering the way Shikamaru had switched over night from booking an abortion to being distraught at the thought and refusing to follow through. "It hasn't triggered yet?"

"No," Shikamaru said calmly. "So, I'm going to fetch a clan medic right now, just for a 'routine health check', of course. Nothing else."

He was planning to trick himself into denial long enough to have an abortion. You shouldn't be so surprised by how intelligent your mate was after all these years, but you still found yourself impressed by his quick thinking.

"Right," you agreed. "Do you need me to come with?"

"No, it's just a routine health check, there's no need," he said, calmly getting up from the sofa and walking to the door. You followed him out and watched him slip on his shoes.

Everything was moving quickly, but you felt like the quickly forming burden had just been lifted from your shoulders. You simply didn't have the time and energy to give to another pup, it wouldn't be fair on anyone.

"And after my health check," Shikamaru continued, opening the door. "I am booking an appointment to have all my problematic organs removed."

That made a lot of sense. You had already been sterilised once but the surgery had reversed itself, something you only realised when Shikamaru already had the positive test in his hand. If he simply didn't have the necessary requirements for a baby, there would be no more babies. And maybe, just maybe, you'd finally have a form of birth control that actually worked.

"I'll watch the pups, and I'll be here when you get back," you promised, trying to reassure him as best as you could without mentioning anything specific.

Shikamaru nodded, took one final deep breath, and then stepped outside, shutting the door gently to avoid waking the two youngest pups up from their naps.

You stood for a moment, processing everything that had just happened, before a wave of determination washed over you. Your mate was going through something difficult that he had to do alone, so you would do everything in your power to make sure he came home to a clean house, delicious dinner, hot bath, and a massage.

You rolled up your sleeves, energised and ready to make the most of the remaining 20 minutes of nap time. It was time to clean like you'd never cleaned before.

[upsidedownmvnson]

crash landed

A/N: i want to branch out on this blog and write for other fandoms too, so im dipping my toes in my baby poe dameron's pool

summary: you and poe are stranded on an unknown planet after a dicy shootout. and your injuries are getting worse by the minute.

warnings: probably inaccurate star wars stuff, graphic descriptions of injuries (maybe), broken bones,

"poe?" you whispered, shaky voice barely cutting through the loud wind noises rattling the loose metal of a broken starfighter.

he grunts, barely looking away from the twisted metal he's trying to bend back in shape with pure will. it's been hours, and with no working comms, and no working beacon.. it was time to start considering alternate escape routes.

"ugh - if it would just-" he grunts again, pounding his fist once against it, the sound lost beneath the other crashing titanium pieces.

"poe..." you said, again, holding onto your shoulder. it was starting to really hurt, and you could barely move your arm, you were sure it was broken, and with the adrenaline of a crash landing fading, it was really starting to be a problem.

he looked at you, lips tight and tense, none of the usual spark in his eyes. his mouth softens into a light frown when he sees you cradling your injury.

"if we don't leave soon i dont know how far i'll be able to go," you say, raising your voice to be heard over the weather.

"we don't even know where we are!" he shouts back, frustrated and angry.

"i know but..."

"how am i supposed to get you out of this!?"

but he softens even more when your lip quivers, and he knows he's being cold - but look at what he's done. he's hurt you. he's gotten you lost on some outskirt planet with no way out, and no medical supplies. he's just proven about himself what he always feared might be true ... he can't protect you.

"I'm sorry!" he shouts, he looks around, and harshly scratches his thumb on his temple. "you're right! we have to move."

"take the comlink! i'll try to fix it when we get ..." you squint, "somewhere."

he grabs it, although he doesn't believe you can fix it. it doesn't even look like scrap metal anymore. totally crushed during the crash landing. if he had just jumped instead of trying to outmaneuver, this wouldn't have happened. he could have gotten you to safety but he was so sure that they wouldn't see his flip coming, but they did... and managed to target the gun you'd been using at the back of the ship, causing a small explosion and sending you against the side of the ship and then when you weren't answering he...

he lost all control and crashed the ship. he was the best pilot the resistance had, and he crashed with the most precious thing in his life depending on him. he was a failure.

when he climbs back down from the trashed fighter, he puts his hand on the small of your back and guides you forward. you were disappointed when he let you go. usually, he'd find any excuse to keep his hands on you, but now he dropped his touch as soon as you'd started walking with him.

you walked quietly, holding the ripped fabric on the shoulder of your suit closed with your good arm and kept the other as snug to your chest as you could. you felt like you were trying to hold yourself together.

you knew this was your fault. if you had just made the shot... you guys wouldn't be in this mess. and the man you were in love with - and arguably the most important pilot in the resistance - wouldn't be stranded in this nowhere place. and you wouldn't be a limping burden. you try your best to hide it. to walk normally and disguise your wincing.

"i'm sorry," you say finally, unable to stand one more moment of uncomfortable silence. you'd never struggled to talk to poe before, normally you can't get him to shut up. "I should've been able to hit the fuel tank, i knew where it was and i missed the-"

"this wasn't your fault," he cut you off, eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "none of this is your fault, it's mine."

you could barely hear him, and you were about you respond when both of you were taken by complete surprise as you yelped, your ankle giving way under you with a sickening crunch. poe heard it over the wind, and caught you before you could completely hit the ground.

you cried, trying to say something about the pain but all that came out were a few strangled syllables.

"hey, hey, hey, it's okay! i've got you!" but he's panicking. he can't support you with your arm in that condition, and he can't get you up because of the leg. he's sick. he can't breathe thinking of what's he caused. he picks you up, cradling you as close to his chest as he can as he frantically looks around for anything, anything.

a cave in the face of a rockside is all he can see, and he escapes to it's safety, at least able to get you out of the wind for a minute while he thinks. he sets you down as gently as he can, his heart shattering with each deep sob you release.

he looks around, as if help will just appear in the cave. and he stands up, watching you curl into yourself.

"poe, i'm so sorry." you sob, not noticing his confused expression as you hide your face in your arm, words coming out choked and pathetic you say, "look at what i've done."

"you can't -" he pauses, "you didn't do anything wrong, this mess is my fault."

he wants to stop and comfort you, but he doesn't have time. he has to save you, he has to save. you. he's freaking out. he's failed you, the mission, leia, all because he assumed he was better than some first order pilot.

"i have to find you some help," he says, crouching down close to you and moving some hair out of your face. the blotchy, red cheeks, and swollen eyes that hold nothing but pain behind them, made an unexpected tear fall from poe's eye, but he catches it on the back of his hand before you can see. "why can't wait these injuries out, okay?" you nod sullenly, unable to force out anymore words. "do you have your blaster? hm? can you look at me?" he asks, and you do. "i'm going to run okay? i'm going to find you some help."

poe runs for an hour, but aside from the weather finally yielding, he finds nothing. he nearly gets lost on his way back, but finds you sitting up against the hard rock wall, blaster disassembled around you, as you fiddle with the small broken comlink.

"you're sitting."

"i'm totally numb," you whisper, and you're both quiet. you both know that's not a good thing. "i don't know if it worked... but i tried to send out a signal. the transmitter looked functional enough, but the mic was broken beyond... I..." you trail off. "i hope they find you."

"us," he corrects harsher than he means to. "they're going to find us."

you smile. "you should go."

"what????"

"you can come back for me later but -"

"-no-"

"-we shouldn't both rot in this-"

"-stop saying this crap, seriously-"

"hellhole, and you're too important to lose and-"

"stop!" he shouts, crouching down to look in your eye, passion and frustration covered his face, "you're too important, don't you get that!? don't you get anything? i can't lose you too." poe's resolve falls faster than it rose, and he's sobbing before you've even really processed what he's said. "i won't survive it. if i lose you. i won't survive."

"poe?"

"i love you, you idiot."

but then you passed out. and poe is screaming your name, tapping gentle slaps on your cheek to wake you, but it's not working. he's worried you hit your head.

"what do i do!?" he's looking around, but there's nothing. he knows there's nothing. "what do i do!?"

but he hears something outside that sounds like yelling. and he doesn't care if its first order, pirates, or whatever, he doesn't care. he'd surrender himself to save you. he's only got a half broke blaster, but he's got the spark he needs to save you.

he hides behind a tree when he sees figures, waiting to ambush the first person and steal their weapon, but when he grabs them, it's finn looking out of breath and terrified.

"poe! maker, we couldn't-"

"come on!" poe shouts, ignoring his friend, letting go of the fistful of shirt he had, and taking off full tilt back to where you were. finn was hot on his trail, silent. while chewie ran not far behind, roaring in worry. no one liked the crazed look in poe's eye, especially when they knew it was bad sign you weren't with him.

when they're back to you, poe first checks your pulse, his own nearly stopping with anxiety. but however shallow, it was there, you were still there.

poe scoops you up, holds you close to his chest for a second, whispering a secret plea for you to stay with him, and let chewie take you in his arms, begging him in broken words to be gentle with you.

and then poe just sobbed as they rushed back to the ship.

you didn't wake up for a full month. poe ran defensive missions, or short trips. but he couldn't stay focused long enough for anything longer.

when he returns from a simple fetch & return for leia, he's greeted by rey and rose waiting in the hanger, chatting excitedly. at first poe is annoyed, as he takes his helmet off and shakes his hair out. how could your friends find a way to stand around and chat and smile... but when they look at him with wide grins, he hesitates to feel hope. they've said nothing but his heart is racing. he thinks it may beat clear out of his chest,

"someone wants to see you," rose singsongs, laughing as poe throws his helmet on the floor and takes off down the hallway, following his usual path straight from the hanger to the medbay.

he stops in the doorway, panting as he takes in the sight of you smiling with finn, who was sitting on the chair closest to you. he gets up when he sees poe, says goodbye, and leaves, patting his friend on the shoulder as he passes.

"you're awake," he says, taking finn's seat, and scooching it even closer to you. he gathers up your hand in both of his, and leans forward to press his forehead against the back of your hand. "please, forgive me."

"forgive you? for what?"

he scoffs, leaning back but maintaining a secure grip on your hands. "well, for nearly killing you, mostly."

"poe, i missed the shot. i had the shot and i missed it, it's my fault."

"no," he says, sternly, in a commanding voice you don't even recognize, and you listen, watching him with kind eyes. he could live in them, melt into them, stay there forever. "you saved us. you made a beacon out of a gun and a broken comlink. you're a genius, you're... you're so..." he grunts in frustration when the words get lost. "i almost lost you..." he whispers, kissing the back of your hand. he leans his forehead back onto your hand, whispering again and again how sorry he was. 

you smiled sadly at him. he looked thin, had bags under his eyes. you doubted he has been sleeping, finn said he'd spent every night by your side, curled up uncomfortably on the metal chair.

"nah," you chuckle, "i always was gunna come back to you."

"and how do you know that, hm?"

you grin, winking, "because i love you, you idiot."

[adiraargent]

your choso fic was absolutely ADORABLE oh my god, may i request an angsty choso x (preferably) fem reader who kinda has mommy issues? like she's not used to receiving this kind of love and affection from a person and she kinda gets emotional whenever choso expresses his love for her. if you don't feel comfy writing this please feel free to ignore! :3

I'm here for you - Choso Kamo

warnings: none, fluff, angst, mention of family issues wc 1.6k Thank you for the request <3 I hope you like it, if not lmk and I'll try again :)

The day had been a relentless cascade of stress and anxiety, each passing hour feeling like a battle against the weight of the world. You trudged through the front door of your apartment, your shoulders heavy with the burden of the day's struggles. The soft click of the door closing behind you seemed to echo in the silence of the empty lounge room. You sighed softly, putting your bag down on the kitchen bench before trudging over to the fridge, pulling it open tiredly to grab the water jug out.

Choso, who had heard the front door click shut rushed out of the room, an excited grin on his face as he went to welcome you home. However always perceptive to your moods, he was quick to notice the weariness etched into every line of your face. His concern was palpable as he approached you, his eyes filled with a mixture of empathy and worry.

"Hey my love, are you okay?" Choso's voice was gentle, his tone laced with genuine concern as he reached out to touch your arm.

You mustered a weak smile, though it felt like an effort to even lift the corners of your lips. "I'm fine," you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, though the words tasted bitter on your tongue.

Choso's gaze softened, his hand lingering on your arm as he studied your face. "You don't have to pretend with me," he said softly, his voice a soothing melody in the midst of your turmoil. "I can see it in your eyes."

"I'm fine Cho," you muttered, shrugging his hand off your arm so you could reach up into the medical cabinet to grab some Panadol.

The dam of emotions threatened to burst, the weight of your worries pressing down on you like a suffocating blanket. You swallowed hard, trying to push aside the overwhelming tide threatening to consume you.

"What's wrong my love?" he whispered again softly, being careful not to push your boundaries.

"It's just... everything," you murmured, your voice trembling with the weight of unspoken words. "Work, family... I feel like I'm drowning."

Choso's expression softened even further, his eyes filled with understanding as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close. "I'm here for you my sweet girl," he whispered, his voice a gentle reassurance in the midst of your storm. "Always."

You stiffened at the physical contact, still not used to it. You stood there, arms stuck to your side as you looked ahead, unsure of how to really react, the unfamiliar feeling of warmth around you causing an eruption in your stomach. You didn't know how to feel, the warmth from the hug felt so comforting... yet so unusual that it also mad you feel sick.

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you leaned into his embrace, seeking solace in the warmth of his presence. You tried to hold back your tears, the belief that it was wrong to cry deeply etched into your soul as your mothers harsh words and lectures remained prominent in your memory.

It was times like these when you were reminded of just how fortunate you were to have Choso by your side, his unwavering support a beacon of light in the darkness.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion as you buried your face in his chest, allowing yourself to finally let go of the facade you had been clinging to all day.

Choso held you close, his arms a safe haven in the midst of the storm raging within you. "You don't have to do anything alone darling," he murmured, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. "I love you, and I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

In that moment, surrounded by the warmth of Choso's love, you felt a sense of peace wash over you, the weight of your burdens easing ever so slightly. And as you clung to him, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, heart to heart.

As you rested in Choso's embrace, the tension that had gripped your body slowly began to ebb away, replaced by a sense of tranquility that washed over you like a soothing balm. With each steady beat of his heart against your ear, you felt the jagged edges of your emotions begin to smooth out, the weight of the day's troubles dissipating into the ether.

"I know I don't say it enough, but I appreciate everything you do for me," you whispered, your voice barely above a hushed breath as you nuzzled closer to him, seeking solace in the warmth of his embrace, "you're so patient with me... even after how I act and push you away..."

Choso's arms tightened around you, his touch a comforting anchor in the storm of your emotions. "You don't have to thank me love," he murmured, his voice soft and reassuring. "I love you, and I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

Those words, spoken with such sincerity and depth of feeling, stirred something deep within you, a wellspring of emotions that threatened to overwhelm you once more. "I know you had it rough growing up, and you didn't get the love that you deserved... but I'm here to show you just how important and special you really are. You mean everything to me."

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you pulled back slightly, meeting Choso's gaze with a mixture of gratitude and love.

"I love you too, Choso," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion as you reached up to brush away the tears that lingered on your cheeks. "More than words can express."

Choso's eyes softened, his gaze filled with an unwavering devotion that took your breath away. Without a word, he leaned down, his lips capturing yours in a tender kiss that spoke volumes of the love and affection he held for you.

As you basked in the warmth of Choso's love, a sense of contentment washed over you, soothing the frayed edges of your soul. Wrapped in his arms, you felt a sense of safety and security that you had never known before, as if the world outside ceased to exist, leaving only the two of you in your own little bubble of serenity.

"Thank you," you murmured again against his lips, your words a whispered prayer of gratitude as you leaned into his touch, savoring the sensation of his lips against yours.

Choso smiled against your mouth, his fingers gently trailing down your spine in a tender caress. "There's no need to thank me, love," he said softly, his voice a gentle murmur in the stillness of the room. "I meant what I said, I'm always going to be here for you."

His words were a soothing melody that washed over you, filling you with a sense of peace that you had never known before.

"I'm so so grateful that you found me," you whispered, your voice barely above a breath as you pressed your forehead against his, your eyes locked in a silent exchange of love and devotion.

Choso's eyes softened, his gaze filled with an intensity that made your heart skip a beat. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he leaned in to capture your lips in a tender kiss.

The kiss was filled with all the unspoken words and emotions that lingered between you, a silent promise of love and commitment that bound you together in that moment. And as you melted into each other's embrace, you knew that you had found your home in Choso's arms.

But even as you clung to him, a nagging voice in the back of your mind reminded you of the scars that still lingered from your past, the wounds that ran deeper than any physical injury. You had spent so long building walls around your heart, guarding it against the pain and disappointment that seemed to follow you like a shadow. And now, with Choso by your side, those walls threatened to crumble, leaving you exposed and vulnerable once more.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, pulling away slightly as a wave of guilt washed over you. "I didn't mean to push you away like that. It's just... I'm not used to this."

Choso's expression softened, his eyes filled with understanding as he reached out to cup your face in his hands. "Hey," he murmured, his voice gentle yet firm. "You don't have to apologise. I know it's not easy for you, but I'm here for you, always."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you leaned into his touch, seeking solace in the warmth of his hands against your skin. "I'm just so scared," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper as you let your guard down, allowing him to see the vulnerability that lay beneath the surface.

Choso's gaze softened, his thumb brushing away the tears that streaked your cheeks. "I know," he murmured, his voice filled with compassion and understanding. "But you don't have to be scared anymore. I won't let anyone hurt you, not while I'm here."

His words were a soothing balm to your wounded soul, offering comfort and reassurance in the face of your fears.

"I love you," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion as you pressed your forehead against his, your eyes locked in a silent exchange of love and devotion.

Choso's eyes softened, his gaze filled with an unwavering devotion that took your breath away. "And I love you," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion as he leaned in to capture your lips in a tender kiss.

written by @adiraargent Please do not steal or claim <3 Hope you enjoyed Requests are welcome :)

[star-writr]

Promise

Yay!! Another 10th Doc fic!! This one is a little longer than the last one luckily. Also school starts in four days for me and I'm terrified. Reader is gn. This will be up on my Ao3 in a sec. Enjoy!!

After yet another draining adventure, the TARDIS welcomed you and the Doctor with its warm lighting and buzzing noises. Closing the door behind him, the Time Lord huffed. "Well, that was a hell of a jog", he spoke, "even for me. Are you alright?"

You smiled and nodded. "Yeah. I think I'm going to take a nap. Do you mind?"

"Not at all," said the Doctor, making his way over to the console. "I'll be here if you need anything." You walked away, grateful to get a break.

The Doctor ran his fingers through his hair, already spiky and messy enough as it was, sighing. He fiddled with a couple buttons, trying to keep his hands – and thoughts – focused on the TARDIS rather than anything else. The spaceship seemed to find his troubled look quite funny, and her engines snickered.

"Laugh a little more, would you?", grunted the Time Lord. The machine didn't hesitate to do so.

The Doctor had been pining after his companion for a while, but had admitted these feelings to himself quite reluctantly. After all, he knew that you wouldn't be any different to his prior companions. He knew one day he wouldn't see you again; everyone left the TARDIS sooner or later, whether they wanted to or not. Even if you somehow reciprocated what he felt, the situation would've been just the same, and it would've been even worse when it ended. The Doctor was a time traveller, he couldn't focus only on the present; and thinking of the uncertainty of the future – which could've put you in danger in a hundred million different ways without him able to do anything – sent him off the rails like very few things could. He couldn't have you hurt because of his carelessness, feelings or no feelings. However, he still didn't know what to do. Maybe he should've told you the truth. But why bother? Again, it would've meant nothing. Destiny had the tendency to laugh in the Doctor's face, making his every move have the worst consequences possible; if you got involved by staying by his side, who knows what could've happened. There was also the possibility of you being uncomfortable once the Doctor confessed his feelings and leaving the TARDIS even sooner. So the Time Lord kept his mouth shut.

This went on for quite some time. Nevertheless, the Doctor couldn't keep carrying such a burden forever. And, against every last one of his intentions, he didn't.

It was rare to see the Doctor truly scared. It had been a long night, and an even longer adventure. Going deeper and deeper into the darkest of tunnels, holding onto his sleeve, the both of you running for your lives, you saw an expression that the Time Lord had never worn in front of you before then.

The enemy had taken his sonic, leaving the Doctor without his second most powerful weapon, and the first most powerful – his wits – didn't seem eager to respond at the moment. It was true that most times he worked well under pressure, but fear was a beast he didn't quite know how to make abide by his rules.

"Doctor, what do we do? We can't keep running forever," you reminded him, pulling onto his shirt. He stopped in his tracks and took one good look at you.

"Are you hurt?" he asked. You didn't answer. "We have to think of something else," you insisted, "or we'll be stuck here forever."

He said your name with his voice breaking. It was the first time you saw him that worried. "We can't do anything. We can't fight. We can only run", he stated.

You lowered your eyes. The truth was that you couldn't run anymore. As much as you didn't want to admit it, your feet were killing you and you had sprained your ankle.

"You're hurt", realized the Doctor. The sound of metal clanging coming from the tunnels behind you stripped you of all the hope you had left. The Doctor looked at you with wet eyes. "I don't have a plan", he said, "I'm sorry."

He couldn't give up so easily, you thought. The noise was getting closer. The pressure you felt crushed your lungs, leaving you almost breathless.

Even so, the Doctor wasn't the only one who worked well under pressure. You had a sudden idea, and all at once you felt like you could breathe again. A smile crept its way onto your lips. "Well, I do," you said.

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Really? What are you going to do?" he asked. His question remained unanswered, at least for the moment, as your lips crashed together with his. "Stay put", you ordered him, then going straight towards the noise of metal. The Doctor – quickly pulling himself together after the sudden kiss – tried to stop you, but it was futile. As soon as you disappeared from his sight the noises suddenly stopped. A few moments later, you came back with his sonic screwdriver in hand and a smirk plastered onto your face.

"Holograms," you explained, "holograms and recorded sound effects. They took your sonic because it would've messed with their systems."

The Doctor's mouth was agape as he grabbed the screwdriver, inspecting it and occasionally shifting his eyes onto your figure. "How can a hologram grab anything?", he asked.

"They were projected onto an endoskeleton", you replied. "Fool proof disguise."

The Time Lord smiled. "You're a genius."

"Save it for when we're out of here, pretty boy," you teased, grabbing him by the tie and leading the way. Needless to say, the Doctor didn't protest. He was too impressed to complain.

You made it to the TARDIS only hours later, exhausted as per usual. The Doctor was still lingering on the kiss. He couldn't tell whether your sudden realization had made you so excited as to kiss him, or if it had been anything else. He was still unwilling to talk about his own feelings, but now that you had made what seemed like a first move, he decided to confront you about it.

He plopped next to you on the seat near the console. His palms were sweaty against the white leather and his eyes darted between the ceiling, you, and the pavement.

"What is it?" you asked, preceding him. The Time Lord suddenly found his shoelaces to be very interesting, and didn't bear to look at you.

"Just thinking", he whispered.

"About?"

"About the kiss."

You tilted your head. The Doctor was still looking down. A sigh escaped your lips. "Okay, listen."

"I am listening."

"Look at me, Doctor."

He didn't turn his head, and just peeked at you from the corner of his eyes. You later found his flusteredness to be quite adorable. For the moment, however, you wondered if the kiss had made him uncomfortable. In any case, it was best to tell him your reasons. All of them. No holding back. You wouldn't have hid anymore.

"I meant that kiss," you admitted. "I'm sorry if you weren't okay with it."

The Doctor went back to staring at his shoes. "I was okay with it." Your eyes lit up. "Frankly," he added, "it would be simpler if I wasn't. But I'm actually glad you did it first."

"Are you?" you questioned him. "You don't look so... happy."

"I know." The Time Lord bit his lip mindlessly.

"Then what's wrong?"

He was finally able to look at you. You deserved the whole truth, he thought.

"I've told you. My companions always end up leaving. Most of the time it's not planned. They end up endangered and the only solution, if there is one, is leaving me behind. If I get too attached I can never get over it."

You took his hand in yours. "Have you considered, even for a second, that it doesn't always have to end that way?"

"But it does."

"I'm still here, though."

The Doctor's eyes darted across the room. As much as he wanted to believe everything would've ended up being okay, he couldn't bring himself to. Each time he did, everything slipped away from his grasp leaving him alone once again.

"Doctor," you pleaded, "if you won't believe it can end differently, then at least let me promise you it will. At least believe in me."

The Time Lord pondered over your words for a couple moments. Then, he cupped your cheek with his free hand and kissed you. It was a desperate kiss, and it made the both of you scoot closer to the other, wrapping your arms around each other for support and clutching at the cloth on your backs. It didn't last for more than thirty seconds, and left you lingering for more.

"Promise me", he begged, "promise me."

"I promise", you whispered.

"Again. Say it again."

"I promise", you repeated.

His lips brushed onto yours. "Again." You smiled reassuringly, your voice a whisper.

"I promise." You kissed him again.

The night had just started.

[quigonswife8]

Injury: Chris Redfield x reader

You injure yourself, and Chris is more than helpful.

Warnings: Injury, blood, swearing.

A/N: Chris lives in a house for this || gif creds: @rasputinaillyanna look at himmmmm. His eyes omg, they're just...like I can't even describe it.

Italics is Chris talking.

-

"Ouch!"

The rest of the glass falls to the ground, and you look down at your hand. A large cut now runs from your palm, and ends above your wrist. The blood runs, staining the sleeve of the shirt you wear, though you could care less about that. The pain is horrible, worse than a paper cut, that's for sure.

Standing up, you rush over to the tea-towel that hangs off the oven door. As you press it to your injury, you shut your eyes.

"...just what I need."

-

It's quiet when Chris returns, which comes across as strange, as it's only 7 pm. "I'm back." Chris locks the door, before proceeding to slip off his coat and take off his shoes, "...finished early." as captain of the hound squad, or just captain in general, he has to work longer hours than one normally would.

It's not that he can change that, but that means less time with you, when he wishes he could spend more time with you.

"In here."

The first thing Chris notices is how you sound tired, and how you don't say anything after that.

"Okay."

Chris heads into the lounge, which is where you are. He notices when he enters is how only two lights are on, the rest are off. Then he notices how you're sitting with your head back, and how you look up at the ceiling. However he doesn't notice the bandage around your right hand, not until he gets closer.

"Sweetheart.." Chris's voice fades into nothing, a look of worry on his face, though you don't seem to notice.

"Hey." you mutter, pulling your eyes away to look at him. "...how was work?"

The pain has eased up a bit, but you still need to be careful. You slowly sit up, and when Chris sits down in front of you, he doesn't say anything yet. He just keeps his eyes on your hand, and then looks at you.

"Your hand..." It had been fine when he left, so why do you have a bandage on it? "...What happened?"

"I cut it on a glass." you answer, honestly. "...and I hurt myself pretty badly so I attempted to try and wrap it as best as I could." and you chuckle softly, trying to make light of this situation, though Chris doesn't chuckle or anything.

"I'm sorry." he replies, his gaze softening. "...did you need me to re-bandage your hand for you?" He’s so sweet and you love him so much.

"...I don't want to be a burden...besides, you just got off work."

"You could never be a burden sweetheart..." making sure to emphasize the 'never' part. "... and I would much rather make sure you don't get an infection from your cut." Which he's very familiar with. He's right you sigh of course he is.

Chris is very smart, though not a lot of people appreciate that about him. They should, and they should appreciate Chris in general. He's lost a lot, he's been through a lot, yet he's still standing and you're really proud of him. You just hope he knows that.

"Okay." you nod so Chris stands to leave and get what he needs. When he returns he kneels down in front of you, using one of his hands to squeeze your left one. He's so gentle, so soft with you, that sometimes you forget that he's not like this with anyone else really. Chris isn't rude or anything, he just doesn't act like this with anyone else.

"I'll try not to hurt you."

"You could never hurt me." you smile. "...and thank you again for doing this." you could spend hours being appreciative, but for now, you'll just sit there while he treats and bandages your hand.

Chris gives you a quick nod, "You're welcome." and after pressing a soft kiss to your temple, he starts on what he had planned to do.

[c1phyb4ra]

Ghost HC's (SFW & NSFW)

【Hi! It's my first time posting my writing on Tumblr, so apologies for any mistakes in consistency. I'm learning to navigate and format my work. Thank you for your patience <3】

☆My personal angst to comfort headcannons on how Ghost would be in a relationship with you despite all the trauma and suffering he's lived through. I will mark where the NSFW starts if you don't want to read that. My requests are open so go nuts, I'll try my best to do yours :3☆

CW: [For Ghost's past/current struggles] disordered eating habits, paranoia, panic attacks, abuse, gn reader. [For nsfw] praise, body worship, oral reader receiving, gn + afab reader.

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙

► He had such a rough childhood, living with an abusive father so he's developed a habit of treating you like glass, always worried he'd do something to hurt you.

► Intense insomniac. He's used to not sleeping much due to having to keep an eye out for enemies. He refuses to take sleeping pills out of fear of sleeping through something bad happening. The best you can do is get him to lay with you while you play with his hair. That way he might be able to get at least a few hours of sleep.

► Also struggles with nightmares. He'll hold you tightly in his sleep while mumbling. If he wakes up though, he'll excuse himself to the restroom to calm down before going back to bed. He'll let you spoon him as he tried to go back to sleep again.

► Simon always wears some form of facial covering, having become accustomed to keeping his face hidden. It's like he can't get rid of his Ghost persona when he's just supposed to be Simon.

► Refuses to talk about his work besides his squad mates, such as Soap or Gaz. He hates involving his work with his lover. He wants to have a very firm barrier between those. He can't risk his violent job getting mixed into his domestic life with you.

► When you go out for any reason (whether it be date night or grocery shopping) he's always armed. Always. He keeps a gun on him and has an extra one strapped to his boot along with a couple of knives strapped to the other one. He's very paranoid about being attacked.

► His body has become so accustomed to fight or flight mode that he tends to get very anxious and dizzy. Sometimes he'll get intense panic attacks so he'll shut himself in the bathroom to try and calm himself down. He isolates himself out of fear of burdening or overwhelming you.

► You have to remind him that as his partner, you want to be there for him when he's struggling. He tries to go to you when he's not feeling the best but sometimes he just can't bring himself to do so so he'll shut down in the bedroom and just pace.

► He has a bad habit of skipping meals because he feels the need to punish his body for not being good enough to prevent all the death he sees on the field. Although sometimes when you cook he'll skip them because he feels that he doesn't deserve to eat what you made for him. You'll have to sit and coax him into eating, and sometimes feed him by hand.

[NSFW FROM HERE ON, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.]

► It took him a long time to feel comfortable with the idea of sex. He always worried about not being able to please you, or being too rough. He knows he's strong enough to take down multiple enemy soldiers simultaneously, so he's afraid that he might be too rough with just you there.

► He's very gentle with you, always being careful and asking you if you're alright.

► He loves praise and reassurance. He always prioritizes your pleasure first and loves when you tell him that he's doing good at that. Call him sweet pet names like 'darling, lovie, baby, sweetheart.'

► You called him a good boy once because he helped you put away groceries. That turned him on so painfully much that as soon as all the perishables were out away, he bent you over the counter and fucked you.

► He gets more turned on when he eats you out than when you blow him. He's obsessed with the feeling of your arousal coating his lips and chin. The noises you make combined with the way you taste so sweet to him has him cumming in his pants. Making you cum multiple times from just his tongue feels so validating to him.

► He also secretly likes how your pubes tickle his nose when he plays with your clit. He loves how natural your body is, and is obsessed with every part of it.

► He also really likes how his cum covers your tummy and pubes, seeing you covered in his essence makes this feel more real, like he's really there lovingly fucking his sweet partner.

► As tame as it may seem, he really loves missionary. There's something so hot about him being able to see your face as he makes you feel good.

► He likes to use toys on you that maximize your pleasure, like holding a vibrator to your puffy little clit while he fucks you.

► He goes feral for hickeys. Loves seeing the purple bruises in the shape of your mouth all over his body after a night of passionate loving. He's obsessed with being marked by you.

► Body worship. Giving and receiving. That's his SHIT. He loves telling you how good you look, how beautiful your body is, how fucking well you take his massive cock.

► He loves to trace any scars/stretch marks, it's relaxing to touch and kiss those parts of your body that are unique to you.

► Loves wrapping his hands around your waist or placing them on your hips. Helps him be able to reach deeper spots in you, pleasing you in ways that make you see stars.

► Once you're done, he cleans you up with a warm wet washcloth and kisses any bruises he might leave. He makes sure you pee too because he'd hate for you to get an infection because of him. Once you're all cleaned up he'll bring you water or a snack. Unless you want to just cuddle. He'll hold you closely to him, your bodies melting together so comfortably.

⦅𝑇ℎ𝑎𝑛𝑘 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔!⦆

[gemmahale]

So I've temporarily paused my queue. It's just me, shouting into the void again. (The queue will maybe come back - there's some 800 some odd posts in there.) Just as an FYI.

I've been stuck in my head since...my work trip last weekend? Which, tbf, 12 hours of windshield time and a day of interacting with people is a fair bit.

(I'm cutting this because y'all don't need my yapping, but I need it off my chest. Go get some water or a beverage of choice instead.)

TW: mental health discussion. I am safe, I am not going to do anything brash.

But Monday I came back to an email from my boss - apparently two clients had stopped in to speak with him because I hadn't answered their calls (all are within the last two-ish weeks, maybe more?).

A huge part of my job is that timely client call-back. And one place that I consistently struggle in. We've had this discussion going on for 6+ mo now on how critical this call-back part is. The whole thing of what we do is timely, scientifically backed information.

I'm shit at calling back. I hate doing it. I hate troubleshooting people's plant problems. It just seems so...inconsequential. People are stressing about a dead spot in their yard (that's probably over watered and over fertilized and a sterile environment) and it's just...get some perspective, y'know?

I don't know. I love this job. I love the impact I could have. Get me talking about how people deserve healthy ecosystems and food access and such and I'm going a mile a minute.

But I'm paralyzed when it comes to solving these stupid "inconsequential" problems.

I have a newsletter I've been talking about sending out since FEBURARY. It's now AUGUST. It's unsent. I just hit a wall every time I sit down to set it up.

Same thing with the volunteer program I manage. The workshops I'm working on. All of it. Wall against wall against wall and I'm scrolling tumblr for the 43rd time that day.

And I don't know what to do. I'm scared. That's what it is. I'm Scared I'll give bad information and something will get killed and it'll be my fault.

(yes that's capital S scared.)

I don't know what I'm going to say tomorrow in our meeting. I know I'm on thin ice. I'm going into my 3rd year of this. I shouldn't be struggling like this. My RSD is so fuckin' bad that it's locking me up and shutting me down.

Part of me wants to be fired. Just "this isn't a good fit" and out the door. Proof that I'm not cut out for this job. Because all I have succeeded in doing is failing my colleagues, my peers and the clientele that I interact with.

I'm self-sabotaging myself and I don't know how to not to.

I love the opportunities this job has. But I'm terrified of failure to the point of breakdown. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that, right?

It's imposter syndrome, self-sabotage, other terms I've forgotten. having a name for it doesn't help any - just reinforces that I'm doing it to myself. And that's what hurts the most.

I haven't told anyone I'm struggling. It's hard to reach out. Kallen's been dealing with nightmares and job bullshit and high pain days (and his listening is problem solving/therapist-ing, which isn't what I want or need). My friends are all bogged down with their lives - unemployment, moving, divorces, childcare, and I'm not going to burden them with this gunk.

The irony to this is that I just told a friend to lean on me - because that's what friends do when they're in tight spots. Lean on each other, support each other.

But really it just means: Justify that I'm worth being here/being friends with me by making me useful to you.

God I wish I didn't have all this brain goop. I wish I could just scoop it out and poke at it under a microscope and dissect what happened to make me like this.

Gemma find a therapist. <- Whole different conversation. There's a dearth of mental health providers out here. I quit looking in 2021 when I called 5 places and they all said they were not taking on more clients and the one I tried we didn't vibe with each other. Fuck being a (mostly closeted) queer woman in small-town America.