#I've just been putting every character I recognize/that has a name

[amphibia-a-day]

Day 953 of Amphibia Screenshots

Episode: Anne of the Year

[santacoppelia]

Putting the Meta in "Metatron"

(couldn't resist the pun, sorry)

Ok, this has been tickling my brain for a while. I've been thinking about how The Metatron designed his role and discourse specifically to manipulate Aziraphale into the end result we saw in the last minutes of S2. I become obsessed with it because… well, I'm a bit obsessive, but also because there were many really smart writing decisions that I loved (even when I despise The Metatron exactly for the same reasons. Hate the character, love the writer). If you haven't watched Good Omens Season 2, this is the moment to stop reading. Come back later!

We already know that in Book Omens, the role of Gabriel in the ending was occupied by The Metatron. Of course, the series introduced us to Gabriel and we won a lot by that, but I feel that the origins of The Metatron should be considered for any of this. He is not a "sweet old man": he was the one in charge of seeing over the operation of Armageddon; not just a stickler of rules, but the main promoter for it.

However, when he appears in the series finale, we first are primed to almost pass him by. He is in the line for buying coffee, using clothes that are:

obviously not tailored (almost ill fitted)

in dark tones

looking worn and wrinkled

This seems so important to me! All the angels we have seen are so proud of their aspect, wear clear (white or off white) clothes, pressed, impeccable (even Muriel), even when they visit the Earth (which we have already seen on S1 with all the visits to the bookshop). The Metatron chose a worn, comfortable attire, instead. This is a humanized look, something that fools all the angels but which would warm up someone very specific, can you guess?

After making quite a complicated coffee order (with sort of an affable and nervous energy), he makes a question that Crowley had already primed for us when asking Nina about the name of the coffee: having a "predictable" alternative and an unpredictable one.

This creates an interesting parallel with the next scene: Michael is discussing the possibility of erasing Aziraphale from The Book of Life (a punishment even worse than Holy Water on demons, because not having existed at all, EVER is definitely worse than having existed and ceased to exist at some point) when The Metatron arrives, interrupts the moment and signals having brought coffee. Yup, an amicable gesture, but also a "not death" offering that he shows clearly to everyone (even when Michael or Uriel do not understand or care for it. It wasn't meant for them). He even dismisses what Michael was saying as "utter balderdash" and a "complete piffle", which are the kind of outdated terms we have heard Aziraphale use commonly. So, The Metatron has put up this show for a specific audience of one.

The next moment on the script has Metatron asking Crowley for the clarification of his identity. Up to this moment, every angel has been ignoring the sprawled demon in the corner while discussing how to punish Aziraphale… But The Metatron defers to the most unlikely person in the room, and the only one who will push any buttons on Aziraphale: Crowley. After that, Aziraphale can recognize him, and Metatron dismisses the "bad angels" (using Aziraphale's S1 epithet) with another "catchy old phrase", "spit spot", while keeping Muriel at the back and implying that there is a possibility to "check after" if those "bad angels" have done anything wrong.

Up to this moment, he has played it perfectly. The only moment when he loses it is when he calls Muriel "the dim one", which she ignores… probably because that's the usual way they get talked to in Heaven. I'm not sure if Aziraphale or Crowley cared for that small interaction, but it is there for us (the audience) to notice it: the sympathy the character might elicit is built and sought, but he is not that nice.

After that, comes "the chinwag" and the offer of the coffee: the unnecessarily complicated order. It is not Aziraphale's cup of tea (literally), but it is so specific that it creates some semblance of being thought with care, and has a "hefty jigger" of syrup (again with the funny old words). And, as Aziraphale recognizes, it is "very nice!" (as The Metatron "jolly hoped so"), and The Metatron approves of him drinking it by admitting he has "ingested things in my time, you know?". This interaction is absolutely designed to build a bridge of understanding. The Metatron probably knew that the first response he would get was a "no", so he tailored his connection specifically to "mirror" Aziraphale: love of tasty human treats he has also consumed, funny old words like the ones he loves, a very human, worn, well-loved look. That was the bait for "the stroll": the moment when Aziraphale and Crowley get separated, because The Metatron knew that being close to Crowley, Aziraphale would have an hypervigilant soundboard to check the sense of what he was going to get offered. That's what the nasty look The Metatron gives to Crowley while leaving the bookshop builds (and it gets pinpointed by the music, if you were about to miss it).

The next thing we listen from The Metatron is "You don't have to answer immediately, take all the time you need" in such a friendly manner… we can see Aziraphale doubting a little, and then comes the suggestion: "go and tell your friend the good news!". This sounds like encouragement, but is "the reel". He already knows how Crowley would react, and is expecting it (we can infer it by his final reaction after going back for Aziraphale after the break up, but let's not get ahead of ourselves shall we?). He even can work up Muriel to take care of the bookshop while waiting for the catch.

What did he planted in Aziraphale's mind? Well, let's listen to the story he has to tell:

"I don't think he's as bad a fellow… I might have misjudged him!" — not strange in Aziraphale to have such a generous spirit while judging people. He's in a… partnership? relationship? somethingship? with a demon! So maybe first impressions aren't that reliable anyway. The Metatron made an excellent job with this, too.

"Michael was not the obvious candidate, it was me!" — This idea is interesting. Michael has been the stickler, the rule follower, even the snitch. They have been rewarded and recognized by that. Putting Aziraphale before Michael in the line of succession is a way of recognizing not only him, but his system of values, which has always been at odds with the main archangels (even when it was never an open fight).

"Leader, honest, don't tell people what they want to hear" — All these are generic compliments. The Metatron hasn't been that aware of Aziraphale, but are in line with what would have been said of any "rebel leader". They come into context with the next phrase.

"That's why Gabriel came to you, I imagine…" — I'm pretty sure The Metatron didn't imagine this, ha. He is probably imagining that the "institutional problem" is coalescing behind his back, and trying to keep friends close, but enemies closer… while dividing and conquering. If Gabriel rebelled, and then went searching for Aziraphale (and Crowley, they are and item and he knows it), that might mean a true risk for his status quo and future plans.

Heaven has great plans and important projects for you — this is to sweeten the pot: the hefty jigger of almond syrup. You will be able to make changes! You can make a difference from the inside! Working for an old man who feels strangely familiar! And who recognizes your point of view! That sounds like the best job offer of the world, really.

Those, however, are not the main messages (they are still building good will with Aziraphale); they are thought out to build the last, and more important one:

Heaven is well aware of your "de facto partnership" with Crowley…

It would be considered irregular if you wanted to work with him again…

You, and you alone, can bring him to Heaven and restore his full angelic status, so you could keep working together (in very important projects).

Here is the catch. He brought the coffee so he could "offer him coffee", but the implications are quite clear: if you want to continue having a partnership with Crowley, you two must come to Heaven. Anything else would be considered irregular, put them in a worst risk, and maybe, just maybe, make them "institutional enemies". Heaven is more efficient chasing enemies, and they have The Book of Life as a menace.

We already know how scared Aziraphale has always been about upsetting Heaven, but he has learned to "disconnect" from it through the usual "they don't notice". The Metatron came to tell him "I did notice, and it has come back to bite you". The implied counterpart to the offer is "you can always get death". Or even worse, nonexistence (we have already imagined the angst of having one of them condemned to that fate, haven't we?)

When The Metatron arrives, just after seeing Crowley leave the bookshop, distraught, he casually asks "How did he take it?", but he already knows. That was his plan all along: making them break up with an offer Aziraphale could not refuse, but Crowley could not accept. That's why he even takes the license to slightly badmouth Crowley: "Always did want to go his own way, always asking damn fool questions, too". He also arrive with the solution to the only objection Aziraphale would have: Muriel, the happy innocent angel that he received with so much warmth and kindness, is given the opportunity to stay on Earth, taking care of the bookshop. The only thing he would have liked to take with him is not a thing, and has become impossible.

If God is playing poker in a dark room and always smiling, The Metatron is playing chess, and he is quite good at it (that's why he loves everything to be predictable). He is menacing our pieces, and broke our hearts in the process… But I'm pretty sure he is underestimating his opponents. His awful remark of Muriel being "dim"; saying that Crowley "asks damn fool questions", and even believing that Aziraphale is just a softie that can be played like a pipe… That's why telling him the project is "The Second Coming" was an absolute gift for us as an audience, and it prefigures the downfall that is coming — the one Aziraphale, now with nothing to lose, started cooking in his head during that elevator ride (those couple of minutes that Michael Sheen gifted to all of us: the shock, the pain, the fury, and that grin in the end, with the eyes in a completely different emotion). Remember that Aziraphale is intelligent, but also fierce. Guildernstern commited a similar mistake in Hamlet, and it didn't go well:

"Why, look you now, how unworthy a thing you make of me! You would play upon me, you would seem to know my stops, you would pluck out the heart of my mystery, you would sound me from my lowest note to the top of my compass, and there is much music, excellent voice, in this little organ, yet cannot you make it speak. 'Sblood, do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe? Call me what instrument you will, though you can fret me, you cannot play upon me."

I'm so excited to learn how this is going to unfold!! Because our heroes have always been very enthusiastic at creating plans together, failed miserably at executing them, and even then succeeding… But now they are apart, more frustrated and the stakes are even higher. Excellent scenario for a third act!

*exits, pursued by a bear*

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Me, after doing 15 minutes of excessive googling on every Batfam member's birthday only to then realize I've accidentally missed the majority of them this year, and then also finding out that people are still aggressively debating over whether Bruce's birthday is April 7 or February 19, Dick's birthday happens 3-6x throughout the year, and Stephanie might have just popped into existence for all that DC cares:

Batfam birthday dates btw for anyone who needs them are listed beneath the cut:

DISCLAIMER: DC is notorious for being super inconsistent with everything and I am a mere tadpole caught in the tidal wave of DC's ocean. This post will be regularly updated with edits and corrections so please do not use it as word of law, I am begging you.

Update (8/24/23): To keep things more simple and easier for everyone I am going to start categorizing the birth dates I've collected into 3 categories.

-Most popular: Self-explanatory. These are the birth dates that have been canonized and confirmed by DC and are also more wildly celebrated by the fandom. Typically, this should be the first result you see when you google the character's birthday. But not always because DC sucks ass.

-Other date(s): These are the additional birth dates I come across that have been canonized in some form with multiple sources, but are not as wildly celebrated or popularized by DC and/or the fandom. Why am I including them here? Mostly because I don't want people coming in saying I forgot a date. But also because if I have to see this mess, then y'all have too as well.

-Potential but unconfirmed date(s): This is where I will put all the other additional dates I find, but specifically those that are lacking in complete sources or seem to be highly debated and scrutinized.

Also fun emoji ranking guide for me and me alone:

👑��: Queen Shit. Characters with a consistent and simple birth date(s). Can absolutely do no wrong.

👑😮‍💨: In the Running. Characters who don't have a set birth date, but the mess is minor and completely DC's fault. They shouldn't have to be punished for DC's crimes.

🤡🤡: Gtfo. Shit is so inconsistent and stupidly messy that it's making me lose my shit. I'm putting DC and the characters on trial for this bullshit.

👑Alfred Pennyworth👑

Most popular: August 16

Other date(s): April 8 and March 31

(I think it'd be hella cute if Jason and Alfred shared a bday. But if you keep scrolling through the rest of the list, you'll see that August is kind of an overcrowded bday month for the Batfam.

Depending on what you prefer, though, I still think Alfred's worth being celebrated. Lord knows he deserves a special day for himself)

(Update ((8/24/23)): No big inconsistencies between these dates. I just thought it would be fun to provide some info on why Alfred has two canonical birthdates.

So the reason August 16 is viewed as the most popular is for two main reasons. One, obviously, is that he shares a birth date with Jason Todd. So many fans latch onto this date because of how sweet it is for them to share a birthday together.

The second reason has to do with the origin of the birth date. This is because of the more recent retcon that was made by the prequel comic to the Injustice: Gods Among Us video game that was published in 2013. There is a panel in the comic that shows Alfred's birth certificate in full detail from his full name, his place of birth, etc.

As for April 8, this specific date technically has more history compared to August 16. Fans will cite that April 8 was the official date selected by DC according to their Super DC Calendar back in 1976 (which btw was made in 1975).

Compared to August 16 and April 8, however, March 31 oddly enough isn't that popular or recognized by DC or the majority of the fandom. The reason March 31 does come up is because March 31, 1943 was the date when Alfred made his first appearance in the comics, one day after Bruce/Batman)

🤡Bruce Wayne🤡: Hey. Hey, DC, look at me. Bitch.

Most popular: February 19 or April 7

Other date(s): April 25, May 27, March 30, "October," October 7, and "November"

(It looks like most people go with February 19, but don't come at me if you're a April 7 truther. I'm just existing)

(Update ((8/20/23)): I'm gonna shoot somebody. So after doing a little bit more research, I came across-you'd never guess it-even more conflicting info on when Bruce's birthday is supposed to take place.

While April 7 and February 19 are still popular days for fans to celebrate Batman's bday, March 30 is also considered a popular date due to March 30, 1939 being the day Detective Comics #27 ((the issue Batman debuted in)) was put on shelves.

HOWEVER, even Batman's debut is contested to actually be May 27, 1939 because despite the fact that Detective Comics #27 first appeared to the public on March 30, 1939, the cover issue depicted May 27, 1939 instead.

This is because it was a popular practice for comics publication houses to falsify their cover dates as a way to give the impression that the latest issue was newer than it actually was. So if you really, really wanna get super fucking technical about it ((and I know there are some of you out there who do)), Batman may have debuted on March 30, but the cover-issue date was May 27 so, yes, I guess Bruce could have been a May baby instead.

I hate it here.

Oh, and to make matters more complicated, let's discuss the issue of April 7 vs April 25. So the reason April 7 is a popular bday for Bruce is because the original 1930-40s run just outright stated that April 7 was his birthday. Simple enough.

So what does April 25 have to do with this? Well, that's because technically-I think I hate that word now btw-Batman didn't get his own solo comic until April 25, 1940. If you want to go by April 25 because of this logic, however, that means that you'd have to share Bruce's birthday with the Joker. Because guess what? That's also the exact date that the Joker debuted.

I'm personally not a huge fan of Bruce and the Joker sharing a bday. Mostly just because the dates are clearly already complicated enough. But also I feel like April 25 is just known as the Joker's bday at this point, at least in the DC fandom. And Bruce has so many options at this point that it'd be kinda silly to make them share a bday.

As for the "sometime in October" and "sometime in November" additions, we have Batman The Animated Series and Frank Miller's "Batman: Year One" to thank for those extremely vague options.

BTAS Bruce states that his birthday is "sometime in October" and "Batman: Year One" Bruce is responsible for "sometime in November." I repeat: I hate it here.

So when is Bruce's actual birthday? Well, the latest change that DC has "officially" made was the February 19 retcon during the 1970-80s. When a fan sent a question into Detective Comics about Bruce's birthday, the answer given was "February 19" in the letter column. Issue #494, to be exact.

And the reason this answer was given? Because the Super DC Calender for 1976 (again made in 1975) said so.

However, there are still people who prefer to celebrate his bday on April 7 or March 30 instead. And there's also a question floating around if the New 52 run could potentially retcon Bruce's bday AGAIN at some point in the future.

I. Hate. It. Here.

Personally, I liked February 19 because then Alfred could maybe have the month of April to himself. But after seeing all this new info, I'm just sort of resigned to whichever date that the fandom prefers. Y'all can decide. I don't have any energy left.

Also, I can't believe I have to accuse Bruce of having possibly taught Dick his bday scam. Just .... wow).

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, DC did it to me again. I found this extra little tidbit while googling the Super DC Calendar for Alfred, actually.

So Issue #10 of the 2021 Legends of the Dark Knight decided to give the BTAS's "sometime in October" an actual sometime.

How do I feel about yet another Bruce Wayne bday retcon? Honestly, I think I'm moving closer and closer to just a bland state of acceptance at this point. Tbh, I don't think all these retcons actually matter that much in the end. DC is gonna keep being DC.

Which is annoying. But Idk I'm personally gonna stick with February 19. No shade to you if you prefer any of the other dates. I just like February 19 more than the others)

👑Kate Kane👑

Most popular: March 21

Other date(s): January 26

(So ... where to start to with this one?

Well the official DC canon birth date for Kate Kane is listed as March 21. That being said, if you were to google Kate's birthday right now, you might be confused because that's not the first result that comes up.

Instead, you'll be greeted with January 26, 1990.

So what gives? If there's already an official DC approved birth date, then why the fuck is January 26 coming up all of a sudden?

Well, folks, you have the CW's Batwoman to thank.

Tbh I was very confused as to how I completely missed that there was an entire Batwoman TV show in the first place.

Apparently the show is considered a part of the CW Arrowverse (in reference to the CW show Arrow featuring Oliver Queen, for those of you who need extra info) and ran for 3 whole seasons before being cancelled on April 9, 2022.

And they gave us actual canon lesbian Kate Kane rep. I mean, she is a lesbian. But yeah. CW actually acknowledged her sexual orientation. So kudos for doing the bare minimum?????

Anyway, I guess the showrunners just decided they wanted Kate's birthday to be on January 26 instead of March 21??? Idk if this was supposed to be a reference or an homage to Cassandra Cain's birthday. I doubt it, but who knows?)

🤡Dick Grayson🤡: Greedy bitch who keeps lying about his birthday so he can scam people into giving him more presents jk jk

Most popular: "On the first day of spring" (bruh) or March 20/21

Other date(s): March 6, "April," October 24 (aka "the week before Halloween"), November 11 and December 1

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 24

(Dick's canon bday seems to be influx. March 6, March 20, March 21, November 11, June 24, December 1, and so on. I did see multiple sources state Dick was born "on the first day of spring." I'm unclear atm about whether this is a fanon take or if it was actually stated in a particular comic at some point.

As far as I'm concerned, Dick just keeps lying about his birthday for the lols)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Well, guess what I found, folks?

It's a return visit from our favorite friend, the Super DC Calendar of 1976. And according to it, Dick's birthday should be November 11.

You can also thank the Young Justice comic for the confusion surrounding Dick's bday being on December 1.

Also, I found this post by @theflyingwonder that helps clear up a LOT of the mess surrounding Dick's ever changing birth date. Honestly, amazing work and extra kudos to them for putting all the work in and finding all the sources. I just wished I had found their post earlier, holy shit.

And if you have some extra time, please give some love to @inkydandy for their hilarious and very sweet comic about all the confusion that comes with Dick's bday)

(Update ((8/25/23)): Many thanks to @poisoned-ivy for clearing up even more of the mess surrounding Dick's bday. I went ahead and took a screenshot of their response to my old "Which date is Dick's canon bday?" poll.

They also provided a link to the DC Universe Calendar which was lovingly compiled from the original 1976 Super DC Calendar and then put together by the people who run the Five Earths Project .

Also found out from them today that October 24 is one of Dick's bdays ((at least for Post-Crisis Dick Grayson)). So that was a fun new discovery!

They were also very helpful in helping me realize that the original article I had found that stated "sometime in April" was actually in reference to Dick Grayson's first appearance in the comics, which was April 1940.

So, yes, "sometime in April" is technically--again I hate this word so much now--still a valid candidate for Dick's bday. And before you ask: Detective Comics #38 was actually published on March 6, 1940.

Hence why people will cite March 6 as Dick's canon bday instead.

This project got a lot bigger than I ever expected it to ... god)

👑Barbara Gordon👑: September 23

👑Jason Todd👑: August 16

👑Cassandra Cain👑: January 26

👑Tim Drake👑: July 19

👑Stephanie Brown😮‍💨: She emerged from the void with the sole purpose of dragging Bruce's ass to hell and back. Nothing can stop her. We all exist in her world now.

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): June 23, "August," or August 11

(For real, though, some peeps will say June 23 since the month she officially debuted in the comics was June 1992.

But I've also seen August 1992 listed as her bday month as well--lot of August babies in the Batfam, huh--but I haven't found June 23 specifically listed as her canon bday, either. It honestly feels like the fans are putting in more work than DC at this point. Which, like, I'm not surprised. Just disappointed)

(Update ((8/24/23)): Someone mentioned August 11 as a potential birth date, but I have yet to see an actual source that specifically states this. If I do find one, I'll edit this section. Figured I should put it here just in case, though)

👑Duke Thomas👑: August 13

👑Damian Wayne👑: August 9

👑Terry McGinnis😮‍💨

Most popular: August 18

Other date(s): June 27 or August 10

Potential but unconfirmed date(s): September 19 (fml)

(Yes, I'm including Terry, fuck you lol

Also SERIOUSLY WTF is up with so many of these August birthdays!!!! Fuck, was everyone just getting crazy BUSY in November!!!! What's going on in the DC universe that is making November of all months the HORNY MONTH????!!!!)

(Mini update ((8/18/23)): Well, I just found out that apparently June 27th 2023 is also a highly debated birth date for Terry. As is August 10 2023/2024 and August 18 2023/2024. I even saw a mention of September 19 2023, but I don't know how credible that source actually is. I'm just putting it here because I'm losing my mind and I don't want someone to pop in and say I forgot it omfg I'm dying

I'm just ... why? Why is it so hard to just commit to one month and one date. I'm not even concerned about the exact year. Just commit to ONE, man.

Excuse me while I march over to DC HQ and burn the whole place to the ground iswtfg)

Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong on any of these. I have a massive headache now and am open to any suggestions or clarifications y'all have to offer.

Also, I'm going to fist fight Dick in a Denny's parking lot.

Update (8/17/23): So a mini post that I meant to use as a way to vent how insane Dick was making me somehow blew up way more than I ever expected it to, and now I feel obligated to clarify again that I am open to any corrections and additional info that anyone has to offer.

I'm saying this because I've noticed people reblogging this post for actual Batfam bday references and someone already pointed out I fucked up Tim's bday and now I feel bad for everyone who reblogged this post prior to that edit.

It's probably just the anxiety talking, but yeah I just wanted to put that out there.

Also justice for Stephanie Brown! She deserves to have her own special day and if I have to bully DC into giving her a canon birthday, then you bet your ass I fucking will.

(And to all of y'all who are encouraging Dick to keep running his side scam business, I just have this to say: There's an empty Denny's parking lot somewhere out there just waiting for you, too lol)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for bitching about fics I dislike on my blog?

as a foreword, this is kind of a non-issue and no one's ever told me to stop, but I'm curious what other people think of fandom etiquette.

the fandom: a fairly small one. 2.4k fics on ao3 small. I recognize most people posting in its tumblr tag small. if I tell you the name of the source you'd almost definitely be able to find me small.

the source: pornographic, which means everyone involved is or should be an adult. it's BL with a switch MC, but the fandom overwhelmingly prefers bottom MC/top LIs (love interests), to the point where I've had people be astonishingly rude to me because my favorite character is a bottom LI and some of my friends have been outright harassed for the same. I used to not care about sex positions in the slightest, but now when I see bottom MC fanworks I can't help but remember how poorly I was treated.

the fics: wildly and inexplicably popular, even though they are, frankly, poorly written. it's eternal bottom MC turned up to 11, complete with copious amounts of OOCness in order to turn every ship into the worst ye olde yaoi gender roles dynamic you can imagine. it's things like MC, canonically a 23yo plank of a dudeguy, being written as a big titted milf in his 40s (which is made more confusing by the fact that one of the LIs is already a big titted milf). it's also things like the MC being written as disliking sex and having to be coerced into it when one of the most charming things about him is that he's a hilarious sex pest, or writing the LIs sexually harassing the MC when they really would never do that. I've likened it to replacing the characters with OCs that share the same name and my friends have agreed with me. I'm honestly convinced that the author and his readers don't actually like any of the characters if they feel the need to change everyone so thoroughly.

why I might be an asshole: it's assholish to hate on free fanworks, and I've bitched about these fics on my public tumblr blog. the fandom is small enough that there's a non-zero chance of it getting back to the author and a reasonable chance that fans of the fics have seen my bitching. I'm probably projecting the hostility I've received onto someone who's done absolutely nothing to me, and I am absolutely just straight up jealous that their fics get better stats than mine. I may also be being an asshole to myself, because being critical of other people's fics has made my hypercritical of my own.

why I don't think I'm an asshole: I think everyone has the right to be bad at things, but I also think everyone has the right to be a little hater. I don't put the fandom tag on these posts; they stay on my blog and my blog alone, and if later on I feel like I was unfairly vitriolic I'll delete the posts. I only post on tumblr because I'm certain the author in question only uses twitter, which dramatically lowers the odds of him stumbling across my posts. the fics are so popular that it's definitely possible that their fans would see my posts, but I think it's unlikely that they'd bother looking at my blog because 99% of my posts are about one of the bottom LIs. I have never and would never leave comments on the fics themselves, and I generally try to keep the bitchy posts to a minimum; it's far from a constant thing.

tl;dr - I publicly bitch about fics that (in my opinion) are poorly written and extremely OOC, under the assumption that it's unlikely the author would ever see it. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[pinkgy]

Niflheim Character Charts just dropped and they are the most interesting kingdom, here's why.

There are a lot of things to talk about I don't even know where to begin.

I've seen a lot of blogs here giving their opinion about them, and i wanted to do the same :D

First of all, the only kink that we maybe would've been able to assume was Beleth's, and honestly, that tobacco kink never crossed my mind.

Where do they even get these kinks?

They just get more creative every time.

I'm going to begin with probably my favorite Niflheim demon since today morning.

You have no idea how BAD I wanna know how he ended up surrendering his role as a king even tho he still wants to be the king, just how powerful Bephegor is?

Now a question I've always had that has nothing to do with this post, Who is actually the strongest king? Because every noble says their king is the strongest (except Andrealphus, if I'm not mistaken he said Beelzebub was the one)

But if we put some head into this question, Lucifer should be the strongest, but when they bring up the strongest king in the game either in the story, cards, or events, no one mentions him.

I don't know.

Something that seems interesting to me about his description is that:

They describe Niflheim as a lawless city, which is quite the opposite of what all of us thought since it's a military land and shit.

Did Niflheim become a "Lawless city" because of him and that's why Belphegor dethroned him, or did it become like that because of Belphegor?

And the fact that Agaros is described as the most insane guy in hell is ... crazy.

And gets even crazier when we remember Glasyalabolas, Abaddon itself, and Andrealphus are out there.

Also, it's said that he doesn't recognize Belphegor as his king, and unlike a certain jealous king that we know could never tolerate that, Belphegor probably doesn't give a fuck or is too lazy to bother, so he let him be.

Now, Vassago

Listen, I don't want to judge him this quick, but if there's something I don't like about some characters of the game, is when they are overly and extremely loyal and obedient to their kings, and it's something really common in whb, I like when the characters don't make that their whole personality and even when they're a bit rebellious, some examples are Glasyalabolas, Barbatos, Paimon, Leraye and more.

The thing is that Vassago seems to be the greatest of these types of characters, but again, I'm not going to judge him so soon, I'll wait until we get more information about him to give a more objective opinion.

Then we have Beleth.

I love his eyes omg, they look really simple but there's something about them.

I know the game doesn't respect much the fact that the nobles have ranks in the Ars Goetia, but Beleth is a king, and Agaros is a duke, and it would've been great if they switched their names, I don't know, I don't pay much attention to this since it's a game at the end of the day, there's no need to follow the canon.

Either way, Beleth is like a king in Niflheim, specifically a De Facto King, which according to my mom, is a leader who leads without being authorized to, and yes, this a very resumed definition, we still don't know why this happened, I had my theory that Beleth does as he pleases with Niflheim and Belphegor lets him because he's too lazy to bother, but it's said in his description that he let's people know that the one in charge is Belphegor so my theory doesn't make much sense.

I hope they clarify this in the event because this Niflheim lore seems reaaaaaally interesting.

Also, I think we all noticed, but now we know why he has so many bite marks, the dude gets laid every day and he probably hides a monster down there.

And Belphie and Him have matching horns AGhhh how cute (I have my theory that that's not a horn, but okay)

And now the main guy of the day.

I still have no idea what his kink is, as much as people explain it, I don't get it.

At this point, I think PB is inventing kinks because there's no way.

Him having Narcolepsy is expected, my bets for his mental illness were that and insomnia, maybe one of the reasons he doesn't appear (aside from him being literally the demon king of sloth) is because he has a very serious case of narcolepsy, but I don't know, we'll have to wait until we meet him.

I said this in a post I did before, but I love that he's 1cm taller than Satan and his dick being 0.1 cm bigger, PB did this on purpose obviously and I can't wait to see interactions between them.

Since we don't have an actual description of him, I can't say much, i just know I love him.

So far I think this is the most interesting kingdom, there seems to be a lot of lore behind them and I absolutely love that, I hope we get a lot of information in the event because of my calculations are right, there’s going to be a looooooong while until we can finally meet them in the main story (and since PB is taking so long with the chapters, I don’t expect them to come to the main story until next year)

[guiltygearconfessions]

Submitting my thoughts as an Indian and Pakistani fan of GG, but I'm kinda disappointed that a lot of analysts who cover Zepp don't seem all too concerned with looking closely at aspects of South Asian culture and history or anything outside of India when it comes to Zepp. Yes it is Indian but you can't discuss India and just magically divorce it from shared cultural ties with Pakistan (and by extension Bangladesh, however I am not Bengali and thus can't speak much on it.) For example Gabriel's blue uniform is so clearly based on a veshti combined with the female air force uniform for Pakistan, or that Zepp's symbol is based on the Garuda Commando Forces logo- even the uniforms of said force match much closer to Zepp's uniforms than any stated "inspiration" I've seen. Hell even the slavery system within Zepp is a reflection that our countries still struggle with caste and class based slavery on a much larger scale (it's affected my own lower class family). This isn't even to mention Potemkin who seems much more tied to how Indo-Pak militarism, nationalism, and facism can affect areas like Kashmir. People are quick to call "German and Russian" influences but the only ones I remotely even observe as a brown person are literally just Pot and Gabriel's names. I dunno. It's just vexing to me. Like it's a country made by dissatisfied Indians post-crusades, so the idea that the old government was somehow less south asian is like. Weird to me. Like there's nothing to indicate that other than people conflating out architectural styles with Russian ones too. Like a lot of Zepp seems to resemble Rajasthani and Punjabi (both sides) architecture in particular but I'm just saddened knowing nobody will look that far into it simply because they might not have that same cultural attachment to it.

Side note I'm also not a fan of how Daisuke refuses to give names to Zeppian characters that match with their ethnic background. For every Leon Mining, Gabriel, and Potemkin, we could've gotten like... actual references to our rock and metal scene. Even "Zepp" as the country name dissatisfies me. Creators and fandoms have such a bad habit at making something or acknowledging something as "South Asian" and then refuse to elaborate on it beyond a few visuals. It feels gauche.

Something something the prevalence of ki not being touched upon for any of South Asia / Zepp by extension within GG is also a major annoyance when we share a lot of faith based aspects with regions like China and Japan.

This has been kinda long winded but holy shit fighting games really just annoy me sometimes with how they treat South Asia as a whole. I just feel it very strongly with GG in particular since Daisuke was very close to peak. So close. I will say he clearly put in a lot of effort that non-south asians probably wouldn't recognize at a first glance, but the smaller details surrounding Zepp and some of the assumptions made about Zepp fandom wise combine into a "nobody will get it like I do" situation.

It's genuinely very cool to see someone's perspective and analysis on it who has more experience and understanding than most western gamers. I appreciate you sharing!

[picaroroboto]

oh right I did say I was going to post about Dante Limbus Company earlier. I guess I should do that now. Not that being obligated to do so is a burden for me there is a lot worth thinking and talking about with that clockhead.

With my fixation on Silent Protagonist Player Characters of the sort from RPGs and gachas, I've been meaning for a while to dissect what I feel is one of the major common themes for a lot of these sort of characters - a sense of "emptiness". With a variety of tropes like little to no facial expressions or dialogue options, androgyny, amnesia, no canon name or backstory, etc, space for the player to imagine or project themselves is created.

But while Dante has a lot of these tropes going on - amnesia, nonbinary, faceless and mostly voiceless due to the way the clock works, they are not a player-insert/self-insert character. They are a player vessel since they are the viewpoint character: the metaphorical camera is placed behind their (metaphorical) eyes. Unlike many other examples of player characters, particularly in gachas, they have a distinct internal monologue with their own defined thoughts and feelings. They have their own personality, it's just that said personality is unassertive and lacking confidence, which is in no small part due to the confusing and powerless situation they're trapped in.

The times we do see shades of a deeper personality are interesting though: we can tell they have some sense of justice and compassion even as they understand more and more that such things are almost impossible in the City, they sympathize with and want to connect with their Sinners even with all the pain and difficulties they put them through. They have no head, no memory, no voice, almost nothing at all except a sort of determination to get those things back and to understand what's going on around them.

This turned into a bit of a ramble since I didn't really have a specific direction to this post other than recognizing that while they have a lot of similar tropes Dante isn't a pure player-insert. I'm a little behind in story - just finished Canto IV - but I'm certain that as the story goes on we'll understand a lot more of what goes on behind that clock (literally and metaphorically), and I'll be enjoying every second of it.

[fallershipping]

It's interesting to notice fans of certain characters tend to like the idea that the person's feats are well known in their respective canons.

I've already grumbled plenty over the fact that Ash Ketchum stans desire for him to be showered with fans and admirers. They want him to not only be introduced via his name but every single accomplishment listed off for the crowd to go wild over, and that every feminine living being around him can only have romantic feelings over. They tell tales about how he'll end up living in a mansion and a life of luxury basking on his celebrity victory, but the kid only just put on his shoes and went on another summer-time childhood adventure free of glitz and glamour.

Similarly, Zelda fans who played BOTW and TOTK were pressed about the idea that Link isn't hailed as the recognizable hero everywhere he walked, with more people remembering Zelda while Link is seen as a quiet, passing traveler. I even just realized that back in BOTW, Link actively (without the player's input) refused for a newspaper woman to write a big scoop article about him. Those who know Link by name are those who he worked closely with in Lookout Landing, and it's left ambiguous or understandable that the rest of Hyrule either sees him as yet another customer, traveler, or etc. Link is an introverted man who stays out of the limelight, but this lack of pomp and fanfare wherever he went was something noted by fans.

Celebrities in Pokemon do exist, but they are not always the player and they are not always champions. Cynthia is popular amongst the fanbase, but I feel as though she is not an international celebrity. Frontier Brain Tucker, however, has a canon fan club/groupies that crowd outside his facility. Leon is the first time we've seen a celebrity Champion for being a champion as far as I'm aware, with Diantha being mostly beloved because she's an actress, not a champion.

Anabel keeps tabs on champions and the going ons of the battling world, ever since her debut. She hears rumors, titles, and knows when someone has been crowned a new champion. Funnily enough, when Anabel mentions that you are Alola's new champion in USUM, Looker takes that moment to admire and compliment Anabel's intuition rather than your title.

It makes me think about the surface level admiration of being a celebrity, to be loved and adored by the masses. How often does someone do it just for the fame? For the adoration of strangers? Is someone's goal to be a Hero to be known and respected and told tales of for generations? To be fawned and admired and recognized?

Or is there a sort of emptiness to it all when people eventually move on to the next best popular thing or move on with their lives?

[somefanchick]

-Rollo's Angelic Obsession-

(This story is from Rollo's perspective during the events of the visit to Nobel Bell College. I only know information from the English server story and events so sorry if anything is terribly out of character. This fic is cannon for my female Yuu-sona, but I do just call them Yuu in the story. Yuu uses she/her pronouns. Hope you enjoy! TW: Rollo is obsessive and Delulu with a major crush on Yuu. Found the banner pictures in a post by @ raven-at-the-writing-desk, they are not mine. I got the event book 1 transcripts from the Wiki, and the book 3 transcripts from @ kanasmusings!)

It was disgusting. The headmaster of Night Raven called to inform us that his group of ten had grown to thirteen, not including the chaperone. I had requested Malleus Draconia so I could execute my plan, but to add two more students to the group was borderline infuriating. I didn’t even have the time to see how powerful these other students were, or who they were. I had no idea if they would be an issue or if it would be better to rid the world of them like the others. The only information the headmaster gave on them was that they counted as one student, and that one of them was magicless. That last note made me somewhat hopeful.

The portal lit up and all of the students stepped through. I recognized each and every one of them, so I assumed the new ones were tucked behind the others. I even recognize the chaperone. None of them were a threat. None of them were pure. They all would burn.

“I've been expecting you,” I stepped out of the shadows, vice president and aide on my left and right, “ Esteemed guests from Night Raven College, welcome to Noble Bell College.”

Mozus Trein, the chaperone, spoke in a tone much like my own, “Judging by your uniform, you must be the student the headmage mentioned.”

“That's right,” I put my handkerchief over my mouth for a moment before speaking again, “My name is Rollo Flamme. I serve as the student council president here.”

Riddle Rosehearts was the next to speak, “Oh, interesting. Our school doesn't have an independent student council, but it sounds like you all do.”

I removed the cloth from my lips, “Indeed. And while it may sound presumptuous, one could call it the face of our school. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Idia Shroud’s voice was shrill with surprise or fear, “Ack! Immediate encounter with strangers!”

Azul Ashengrotto seemed equally annoyed and used to the outburst, “Isn't the whole point of this social to meet strangers?”

I could hear some of the freshmen mumbling to themselves, about me undoubtedly. I pressed on, “This is our vice president, and this is our aide. When they heard they could meet with such an esteemed group, they dropped everything and came running. The entirety of Noble Bell College welcomes you. Our school is small compared to yours, and you may find it lacking in some ways, but we beg your indulgence.”

Trein looked like he could almost smile, “How courteous. You have impeccable manners for someone so young.”

Deuce Spade whispered to Silver, a guard of Malleus Draconia, I kept speaking, “We couldn't allow you to keep hauling your luggage around, of course. Let me show you to your rooms. I'm afraid it's a bit of a walk. We can use it as an opportunity to get better acquainted, though.”

I began leading the group forward as Idia Shroud made another winey comment. They were infuriating, and I hadn’t even gotten a glance at the unexpected visitors. They all deserved death.

Azul Ashengrotto made his way to the front with me, “So you're a junior. I imagine it's quite an honor being student council president, considering there can only be one in the whole school. I'm sure your academic performance is also superb and will guarantee you a promising future.”

I tried not to grit my teeth, “Noble Bell simply has a smaller student body. I can hardly compare to those of you from the great Night Raven College.”

Ashengrotto coated his words in flattery, just as we had done with their headmaster, “Please, you needn't be so humble or formal. Why, you're technically my upperclassman! Everyone at my school would be overjoyed to acquaint themselves with such a fine individual.”

I hummed as if amusing the idea, “All right, as you wish. I won't stand on ceremony so much.”

Ashengrotto got involved in a side conversation with Shroud. Leaving me to do nothing but move forward and suppress the urge to strike them down where they stood.

“Ah, but where are my manners? I've gotten ahead of myself,” Ashengrotto pulled himself back to me, “Apologies for the belated introduction. I'm-”

“Introductions won't be necessary,” I waved it off, bringing my handkerchief back to my lips, “I already know who all of you are. You're Azul Ashengrotto, housewarden of Octavinelle and a merman from the Coral Sea,” I kept going, “And you're Idia Shroud, housewarden of Ignihyde and affiliated somehow with the Shroud family. And you-!” I quickly kept myself from flying off the handle at the sight of that Fae, “You are Malleus Draconia, scion of the ruling fae in Briar Valley and one of the top five mages in the world. Correct?”

I felt sick as he smiled, “Indeed, I am Malleus Draconia.”

Sebek Zigvolt butted into the conversation, “Of course the great Malleus would be known even in such a tiny burg!”

I lowered my handkerchief once more, “You are Sebek Zigvolt, and you hail from the same land as Malleus. The one next to you is Silver. And over there chatting with our vice president is Riddle Rosehearts, housewarden of Heartslabyl, Rook Hunt, vice housewarden of Pomefiore, Jamil Viper, vice housewarden of Scarabia, Ruggie Bucchi, Deuce Spade, and Epel Felmier. I thoroughly perused the documents Mr. Crowley so kindly sent, you see.”

Ashengrotto’s eyes were almost wide, “It's like privacy's a foreign concept to that man-”

Shroud gave me a dirty look, unacceptable, “That could get you sued in this day and age.”

Silver almost smiled, “You must have a very good memory, to recall so many different names.”

“It's simply because I was eager to meet such talented mages,” And that’s when I saw them, “But who have we here? You two there. Might I ask your names?”

The first unknown student was a monster. A tiny mythical beast that resembled a cat with fiery blue ears. A familiar that was almost pure magic and fur. Disgusting, “I'm the great Grim, future great mage!”

But the one standing beside him was something else. A woman. Her hair looked silky like a festival scarf. Only one of her eyes was covered by her bangs, but the other one looked like it had seen so much, yet so little. She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It made sense that she couldn’t use magic. She was an angel. I couldn’t help but wonder what the school had prepared for her to wear later.

When she spoke, it made the bell seem like nothing in comparison, “I’m Yuu. Prefect of Ramshackle Dorm. Nice to meet you Rollo.”

I loved the sound of my name on her lips, “Ah, you must be the student attendants Mr. Crowley mentioned,” I tried not to smile, “He said you couldn't use magic. I certainly wasn't expecting you to bring a familiar.”

“A familiar-?” The wretched thing spoke, “Wait, are you talkin' about me?! It's the other way around! I'm the boss, and Yuu's my hench-human!”

“I hate to say it,” She rolled her eyes at the creature as she whispered, it was almost as if she had been speaking to me alone, “But at this point I almost can’t debate that.”

“Heh, what a dependable companion you have,” My sarcasm was almost indistinguishable from my normal speech. I let my voice soften as I moved closer to the magic-less angel presented to me, I almost let a smile slip for her alone, “Yuu, I imagine it must be taxing living among mages all the time. I entreat you to forget about school while you're here and enjoy a moment of respite in Fleur City. And I hope the rest of you will enjoy the social.”

Her eyes seemed to widen. She looked shocked at my words. She must be so used to brash animals that it sounded odd to be treated properly.

“I actually-”

Malleus Draconia didn’t hear her and spoke over her. I wish I could have killed him in that very second, “I'm truly grateful for your hospitality.”

I moved my handkerchief to cover my scowl, “Think nothing of it.”

I stood by the statue of the Righteous Judge while the pests changed in a building nearby. I had made sure that there was a separate space for Yuu to change. I couldn’t let any of those monsters see the angel in her purest form. Her exposed body would be a gift from the saints above. A gift that I had to keep from being tainted though those devils that called themselves her classmates.

The brats talked loud enough for me to hear them. It was all I could do to keep from lighting the building on fire with them inside, “All this goofing around-”

Trein approached me, “Hello, Flamme.”

I put on my ‘show’ once more, “Ah, Professor Trein. What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to thank you for your generous hospitality. Clothing is an embodiment of the culture it comes from and can provide us with a glimpse into different time periods. This is a fine opportunity for my student to get a hands-on history lesson,” Trein was respectable, for a mage.

“Please, think nothing of it,” It was easier to show him hospitality, “Perhaps we should have arranged attire for you as well, though. That was a grave oversight on our part.”

“It's quite alright, I assure you. I don't need the other teachers poking fun at me for dressing like the students when I get back.”

I hummed, “Sounds like you're on friendly terms with the rest of your faculty.”

He released a dry laugh, “Hardly. They're a raucous group and a constant source of embarrassment.”

We broke into humble laughter. I watched as the brats came out, commenting on how me and their professor ‘got along’. 

The familiar came bursting out of the building, laughing, “I'm all done changin' too,” He turned towards the building his master was changing in, “Whaddaya think, Yuu? Isn't my getup way more stylin' than yours?”

“I don’t know about that,” She looked amazing.

The others on the council had scrambled to find female festival clothes for her, and I hated that they couldn’t do better. It wasn’t nearly extravagant enough. Dark blue high-heeled boots, thin black pants, a flowing black and purple asymmetric skirt, multi-blue corset with hot pink lacing, a flowy off-white shirt, bracelets and golden bangles, and a silk chiffon scarf in a lavender color that flowed off her head. She was a saint.

The familiar ran over to her, “Oh, you think you can go toe to toe with me? Don't let one set of cool threads go to your head!”

She smiled and scanned herself over, “I’m just glad it wasn’t too extravagant. Those extreme duds might look fancy, but I prefer something simple and somewhat practical. And this fits the bill.”

She was right. A simpler ensemble let her natural beauty shine though.

Sebek Zigvolt scoffed, “You're both equally unbecoming.”

Trein looked like he could almost smirk, “Goodness, don't you all make a striking ensemble.”

Rosehearts smiled as he dusted off his outfit, “The clothes have a very classical design, I note.”

I removed my gaze from Yuu and addressed the group, “I believe they're patterned after designs that are over 500 years old. Supposedly people in those days had a tradition of wearing new clothes and shoes on festival days. And the outfits grew brighter and more elaborate as the years went on. People would emulate those in prominent positions, such as nobles, royalty, merchants, knights- Which led to the outfits you're wearing now. There were simpler styles that rose to oppose this trend. Though more people gravitate towards the extravagant style in the modern age.”

Ruggie Bucchi was checking himself out, “I getcha. Everyone likes getting fancied up, even if it's once a year.”

Rook Hunt’s accent was almost insulting, “It must have been quite exciting for everyone. I can tell this festival was beloved then as it is now.”

I couldn’t help but mutter into my handkerchief, “Indeed. More's the pity.”

Zigvolt noticed my slip up, “Hm? Did you say something?”

“No, nothing at all.”

I had been tasked with visiting all the Night Raven groups between duties, and I had the misfortune of never running into Yuu. However, the Topsy-Turvy Festival was a mandatory event for all students and chaperones from the visiting schools. It was the last bit of normalcy before I burnt the magic away from this world. 

I locked my eyes on Yuu and approached the Night Raven group, “There you are, Night Raven College.”

Trein did his own kind of smile, “Hello, Flamme. Are you here to watch the festival as well?”

“Yes, this is part of my duties as the Student Council President,” I realized that it may benefit me to stay closer to the group, ‘keep your enemies close’ and whatnot, “May I take this opportunity to sit with you? I’d like to hear about your experiences, too.”

Ashengrotto put on that sleazy grin, “Yes, you’re very welcome to! Please have a seat.”

The fae questioned his classmate, “There’s not enough space, correct? What will we do?”

He smiled as if it was obvious, “Simple. We let Grim sit on Yuu’s lap instead.”

Zigbolt seemed shocked, but Trein only nodded, “Yes, that will do. I’m interested in hearing from Noble Bell College students, too, so please feel free to join us.”

“No way!” The ungrateful monster yowled, “I’m not sitting on Yuu’s lap!”

Shroud smiled creepily, “How about you sit on my lap instead?”

“That grin’s freaking me out,” Grim pushed Yuu onto the bench, “Sit on the chair properly, Yuu! Imma make space for myself.”

I took advantage of it all and sat beside Yuu, “Pardon me. I’ll be taking this seat, then.”

I tuned out the others and focused on Yuu as she watched the mages and the festival goers. There was a slight sign of joy, but she remained mostly neural. She did make a point to try and hold in some laughter at Zigbolt’s outbursts. 

“Hello, everyone! All eyes and ears on me, please!” The same Jester I had seen every time the festival came into town spoke, it seemed he was leading this year, “Come one, come all. Forget about all your work and worries for today, and let’s enjoy the festival. Welcome to the Topsy-Turvy Festival!”

“Topsy-Turvy Festival?” The familiar spoke. Ignorant as a newborn baby, “That sounds weird. Will everyone be upside-down or something?”

I covered my mouth with my handkerchief, “No, he’s just talking about the participants in general. It’s the one day people get to live their lives without titles or status. The weak can become strong, anyone can pretend to be king, so on and so forth.”

Negative emotion coursed through me as I realized Malleus Draconia had sat on the other side of Yuu, and now he was speaking, “Ah, so ranks are put aside for today?”

I grit my teeth behind the cloth I held, “Yes, that’s right. That’s why everyone wears masks for the festival.”

Past Malleus Draconia was Ashengrotto, “I see. I think I understand the appeal now. You get to live as freely as you want today.”

“I saw lots of stalls selling masks, too. There’s a kind of romance to hiding your identity behind a mask,” I swear Shroud was smiling.

Grim spoke up and pointed at some performers, “Everyone looks like they’re having lots of fun!”

The Jester kept going as performers kept prancing, “It’s our long-awaited Topsy-Turvy Festival! But let’s not forget that it’s the ‘Kindly Bell Ringer’ who loved this festival the most!”

Yuu and the familiar spoke in unison, although Yuu’s voice was quiet – as if it was for me alone to hear, “‘The Kindly Bell Ringer’?”

Malleus Draconia spoke again, “Oh, did you not know?”

The little beast was the only one to respond, “Nope, I didn’t!”

Ashengrotto rolled his eyes, “You didn’t even bother researching about the City of Flowers, Grim?”

“I’m not interested in anything except for the food.”

Shroud smiled, “I’ll praise your straightforwardness.”

I then tuned out, I had heard this story a million times. While I did love the tale, it was hard to stand it being said from the lips of a jester and his ragdoll puppet. I but in for a moment to tell the animal what a ventriloquist was, but then I resumed just watching Yuu’s reactions out of the corner of my eye. 

The Night Raven students had turned the festival into a horror show of magical fireworks and mage tricks. It was despicable. Although it did give me a moment alone with Yuu while we said on the Night Raven bench. She was watching the fireworks with a neutral smile. Her lack of ‘joy’ made my heart beat loudly in my chest. Part of me was afraid she was going to hear it over the commotion of the festival. 

I tried to make conversation, “Mages are quite a handful, don’t you think?” She turned to me, her eyes were mesmerizing, “It must be difficult for you to keep up with noisy mages who don’t understand the severity of it all. It would be nice if magic didn’t exist so we could avoid all this fuss. Don’t you agree?”

Her eyes widened, but she just chuckled, “Yeah right. I’m used to it by now.”

I was almost speechless, I couldn’t keep the horror from my face, “You’re ‘used to it’? Oh you poor thing! I can’t blame you for becoming numb to the absurdity after spending everyday practically swimming in it. Mages will use magic to deceive people around them. They cloud the eyes of the righteous. Truely how vexing. But rest assured. This kind of world will soon vanish.”

She froze, “Excuse me? What is that supposed to mean?”

As soon as the words left her lips, her familiar called out, “Yuu! Stop standing around and spacing out over there. Behold! I’ll show you the Great Grim’s Special Golden Fire!” The monster sent out a spray of golden fireworks. 

I used the distraction to slip away. Maybe she didn’t understand right now because she had become accustomed to the horrors of magic, but one day she would. She was too pure. She was an angel. She would be saved from the dirt and grime of magic once it all burned away. 

Then she would be mine.

[woman-of-many-fandoms]

Honestly though, it must be so weird to work with some people for a few years of your life and for years, decades, later people are shipping you with your co worker.

I'm obviously all for shipping fictional characters, but this is the actors job. Where they get a paycheck. They are literally being paid to act like found family.

Like imagine you worked in an office with some people for 3 years in 2004-2007 and in 2030 people are making clips of you and how in love you look while eating lunch with Carol or saying hi as you both arrived in the parking lot.

I've seen this in pretty much every fandom I've been in. Star Trek, good omens, X men, Marvel. I do not think RDJ has any emotional attachment to Chris Evens or that Shanter really cared about and enjoyed spending time with Nimoy. I'm positive for David Tennant, Good Omens is just his next job and Michael Sheen only likes it because it made him much more well known in the acting world and it'll be easier to get his next gig. Yes Pine and Quinto look like they are actual friends outside of the movies but that is an exception.

Anyway, just my thoughts since I just saw a post of some Trek actors in I'm assuming the late 80s or 90s and people were saying 'how could he not be bi saying stuff like this'. Money, the answer is always money.

edit: OK let me address some of what is in the comments. Do actors say they are friends, sure, and if you want to take that at face value then you are right, they are friends. I personally don't think it counts if you are being paid to do so. And before anyone says anything, no not directly. But they have a whole 'image' to uphold that their income is tied to.

I don't know much about the entertainment industry and don't know why people would want that life but it's .... well, different, is the nice way to say it. My sister's career is considered part of the entertainment industry though she is behind the scenes. (And, side note, even being behind the scenes I've still found photoshopped images someone made of her in her in sexy lingerie ... )

TBF we don't talk that often but I've heard some stories (apparently Bill Nye is more then a bit of a jerk behind closed doors) She's lived in Hollywood 12 years now and there is the face people put out in the public and who they truly are. Yes, we all have a self that we hide (I'm autistic so I know all about masking) but it seems that is pushed to extremes.

I've seen her act like many people's best friends (house parties and giving favors and gifts that I question) and promoting their good name in public then she'll tell me in private some horrible things that person has done to others and how it's just how it works. She house/cat sat for a guy (and sent me views from his balcony, my god it was nice) who I think a lot of people would recognize from TV but their relationship was built on respect for each other careers.

Sure, you can tell me not to base the examples off my sisters stories and, ok fair. But I'd also want to point out - the part of RDJ buying evens a car, I did some math. He has 300 million net worth according to google. I have a salary, not net worth (or a negative one cause of student loans I guess), but it is the equivalent of me buying my co worker a $32 gift assuming the car was 150k. I met a guy who performed in Vegas shows and told me how they've had dinner with (I honestly don't remember if it was Penn or Teller) at their house with their spouses. And private chats ... doesn't really tell me much.

I'm currently seeing a bunch of clips of the main actors for the new Wicked movie saying how each other changed each others lives and it just comes off as more acting to promote the movie to me.

And even with Pine and Quinto , I only gave that one a pass because they said knew each other and got along before being in Trek and even then, eh..

Again, just how I interpret things. I know friend can mean different things to different people and a lot of what I see I don't interpret as friend, I see it as networking. I would absolutely be 'friends' with someone if it helped me make and maintain my multi millions .

[l0velylecter]

Could you do it where the MW2 men find out that one of their S/O relatives is in the military like their brother or sister maybe by recognizing the last name is the same as there S/O( preferably their older brother) and how they would react thank you

(Preferably with Alejandro, ghost, soap, and Graves)

how the cod:mw ii men react to finding your relative in the military

characters : simon ‘ghost’ riley / reader , john ‘soap’ mactavish / reader, alejandro vargas/ reader , phillip graves/ reader  fandom : call of duty modern warfare ii rating :  t for teen and up audiences warnings : brief mentions of blood and violence, tags : mostly fluff, light-hearted, some angst, gender neutral ! reader

01 | Alejandro

When it was time for Rudy to take a rookie under his wing, just as Alejandro had done with him, the captain was eager to see how it would play out. He'd watch from a distance as his second command walked the fresh-faced cadet through training, occasionally stepping in to give input before leaving them be. And when the rookie took down the sniper on the water tower and saved his ass, Alejandro was proud to witness that he was, after all, a good mentor.

The more time the three spent together, the more that Alejandro started to suspect something was off — nothing urgent enough for him to distrust the man but enough for him to start shivering from the de javu. The two dimples on the side of his smirk, the way he carries himself, the hard-to-miss accent whenever he speaks: the familiarity of it all, despite having confirmed that, no, the two men haven't met previously, made Alejandro feel excluded from the punchline of one, big, cosmic joke.

And the funniest part was that he'd come home to your arms and complain to you, oblivious of the dimples peppering your smile as you patiently listened to him go insane over the obvious — " I swear on my life mi vida, I've met this man before."

You would have put your partner out of his misery if it wasn't for the fact that he found out before you : when the rookie told them the same childhood story you've recited to Alejandro so often that he could recite it word by word. With a sudden step on the brakes and Rudy's nose colliding into the dashboard, Alejandro nearly lunged into the backseat to choke your brother for not telling him sooner.

Alejandro couldn't even be angry when Rudy made hundreds out of their little bet — " I told you it would take ages for him to notice, no offense, capitán."

When Alejandro came home with your brother in tow, uniforms stained with dirt and dust from the little roughhousing they had, you had no choice but to drag them inside by the ears. Angry at your brother for enlisting without your knowledge and Alejandro for not noticing sooner.

02 | Graves

Graves has always believed that a certain amount of disregard for authority is healthy. If he has to be honest with himself, taking orders from Shepherd is irritating enough, but taking orders from his orthodox, headstrong, and almost dictatorial second-in-command is a pain in the ass, if not pure, fucking torture.

The minute he received the file in his office, Graves knew right off the bat that he was your father. If the name hadn't been a dead giveaway, it would be that underneath the cold, calculating gaze of his headshot, you shared the same eyes. The curve of your jaws, the slight tilt of your heads, the similar phrases you shared when speaking, Graves didn't have to know that the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

So he did what every potential son-in-law would do: he tried to impress the general, even if it pained him to behave like a dog on a leash. Weeks of training turned into months on the field, and it took Phillip half a year to finally get the man to ask — "What's your name, soldier?" and another half a year for him to say — " Maybe you and your men aren't as useless after all."

Phillip hated groveling more than anything, but he had to keep his cool and play his cards right: he was playing the long game here. Every time he came home, you would bite your fingernails by the door, anxiously waiting to interrogate your boyfriend about his day — " Did he suspect anything? Did he ask? Did he hurt you?"

Imagine Phillip's satisfaction when Christmas rolled around: it was time to meet the family and the sight of his commander's usually stoic face crumbling at his wife doting on him with sweaters and laughter enough to inflate the CEO's ego and fly him to the moon. And when you held — no, gripped, Phillip's hand under the dinner table as a silent way to beg for him not to say anything that would trigger the silent yet ticking time bomb in the room, he had disregarded it with one, single movement.

" Daddy, can you please pass me a fork ?"

When both Phillip and your father reached for the utensil, you could feel your mother place a hand across her mouth next to you. Let's just say none of the shadow company members knew why they were reassigned to Shepherd the next day — not that their captain and his bruised lip were complaining.

03 | Soap

When a new sniper was assigned to the task force, Soap was first in line to make conversation with the lad, and although Ghost was stern in reminding him that 'friends aren't in the manual book', the lt.'s words were disregarded ( as usual ) the moment the two men clicked.

He had written to you about how well he got along with the new rookie, enjoying how it was now his turn to guide him through the steps, the same way Price had with him. Due to the covert circumstances of the mission, he had to send his letter by mail, and by the time he received a response, it had been months and nearly a year of the two running assignments together. When you explained to Soap that your last name had been your mother's maiden name and that you actually had a different last name, the sergeant had put two and two together in an instant — eyes falling onto the nametag by the sniper's uniform.

To say he was thrilled was an understatement. The Scotsman would have started cheering if they weren't already embracing each other by the shoulder, fondly talking about you by the fire.

He'd send back polaroids of the two of them in their gear post-mission, sharing a pint. It definitely made you feel like the third-wheeler.

Johnny would grow to become protective of your brother, and vice versa : they would always look out for each other, making sure that you wouldn't have to open the door after missions to just one of them.

The day Soap told you that he knew about your embarrassing childhood stories was the day you considered writing to Price.

04 | Ghost

The moment Ghost saw the rookie's name tag, he immediately knew. Briefly, there was a cold, heavy, sinking feeling settling inside the pit of his stomach. Yet, he remained passive under the mask, ordering the rest of the men to board the helicopter as takeoff was in five. Once they were in the air, he stole another glance at the man, noting that you shared the same nose, chin, and hair color. Fucking hell, he cursed internally. He shouldn't be here.

There was no denying it. The brother you've spent years searching, mourning, thinking that he's either dead from his previous deployment or MIA from how he's never kept contact, is going to be deployed into what most men call a suicide mission.

He shouldn't interfere. He shouldn't reach out: even if Simon cares about you. And dare he confess — loves you, this wasn't the time and place. Trying to protect the rookie will get him killed, but he did it anyways. Without thinking twice, his body moved on its own, telling your brother to follow him when the team gets split in four. And when they had to go in pairs, the lieutenant had dragged him by the arm, ignoring Soap's look of surprise.

The catacombs were narrow and long as they dwindled further into the shadows: even with their night vision, the darkness was almost blinding as they ventured into the abandoned mine in search of Makarov's old base. Your brother tells him as a matter of factly it was because of the radiation, and even if there were no active nuclear activity at the moment, previous experiments conducted by Makarov's men were at risk of contamination, which would need to be contained. And Ghost hated how he spoke just like you, eyes bright and curious of the world. Simon didn't feel sorry when he told the rookie to shut up.

As if the oxygen thinning wasn't already suffocating enough, the pressure that gripped the air made your brother's breathing turn shallow, immediately alerting Simon. Just as he was about to suggest that they return to the surface, a cluster of bullets flew past them: causing flashes of red and yellow to echo down the halls, sending tremors everywhere. Simon gripped your brother by the collar, pulling him down to duck.

The fighting probably only lasted for half an hour, and by the end, the cave was already on the brink of collapse, barely supported by old, rotting wooden pillars. Sion had to jog with your brother's limp body against his, the rookie's breathing barely there, his wound seeping blood onto Simon's uniform.

When they made it out, it was already nightfall: the last rays of sunlight tethering on the borders of the horizon. Your brother demanded Simon to put him down, face crumbling in the fear and acceptance that he wasn't going to make it. The helicopter was still two hours away, and the rest of the team was on the other side of the tunnel. Simon was many things, but he wasn't a liar, and so he wasn't going to force-feed the cadet hope if he truly didn't stand a chance.

So Simon did the next best thing. He laid him down atop the soil, supporting his head with a makeshift pillow he had made with his jacket. He listened to the man speak about his regrets, eyes dropping when he mentioned your name — " I wished I could've told (name) how fucking sorry I am for leaving. I've been meaning to reach out, but I just couldn't… I was afraid of what they’d think. They must be disappointed in their big brother. I let them down."

" They're not. They never stopped looking."

A heartbeat passed where he didn't react to Simon taking off his mask, a brief silent moment where it was just the breeze, the night, and the branches humming. His pain-stricken face turned into a smile, and a laugh, followed by a sputtering of coughs — blood pooling across his lips.

" Holy shit...what are the odds, eh? T-take care of them, okay?"

Only when Simon nodded did he let go of his hand, fingers turning cold and numb against the sand. And when Simon gave you the dog tags, he didn't have to say a word. All he needed to do was hold you as you cried: his own regret, cold and heavy against the pit of his stomach.

a/n : thank you for requesting ! i hope this lives up to your expectations <3 this was very fun for me to write, the entire time I was writing graves’s prompt, I was thinking about the scene in ‘22 jump street’ lol. and the garden fight in ‘crazy stupid love’. the little shit would definitely be a menace to in laws.

[pompadorbz]

Saying this away from the characters poll's tags since i imagine running them is tiring enough as is, but i'll still put it in the tags for the respective characters that I saw this behavior under the polls of regardless; Obviously I have my preferences and I have biases for characters but I sincerely love all four characters in the last round that were under the very aggressive campaigns (notably Kiyotaka, Mondo, Ibuki, and Chihiro), and while I've not been in the fandom since the fan translation days or anything like that (I'm sure the use of first names makes that much clear, lol), I've been in here long enough and have been open enough to recognize that there isn't really such thing as a "nothing character" in this series. The casts of these games just aren't designed that way. Sure, some characters may propel the plot along further than others but each character has this baseline amount of effort put into them for those who choose to go looking, so to act as if that isn't there for any handful of characters is a little regressive of the whole "every character can be the protagonist of their own story" writing philosophy DGRP has going on. It gets very tiring watching people confuse their personal distaste for certain characters as gospel, and then most notably, going to attack those who DO like those characters because said characters are not "enough", and are therefore not deserving of higher analysis. And that leads into the main problem here. There is absolutely NO excuse WHATSOEVER for calling people bigoted when they don't vote for the character that you like. There is NO possible justification for pushing the faults of the original writing of a story onto the fanbase for the crime of doing and seeing more with less-than-tactfully written character. If you feel as if you need to use harassment of others as a fear tactic to make them vote for a fictional character in a tumblr poll with absolutely no jurisdiction on anything, then I hate to say it, but maybe this fandom activity was just not made for you. If you truly feel that the collective voting for character A vs. character B in a tumblr poll is a personal attack against you or an entire group of people as a whole, then you need to reassess why exactly you feel that way and whether or not causing an uproar is necessary.

[kalijhomentethi]

Headcanons: Akali Tropes I Hate

Really strong title right off the bat but there’s really no way to sugarcoat it. To be clear: My aim here isn’t to attack anyone. I got inspired by people posting headcanons in my dash and since it’s been a while since I’ve done one, I figured I’d throw my hat in the ring too! The tropes I’ll be tackling here are people’s perceptions of Akali that I’ve gathered over the years, and I just can’t stand it when I encounter them in any shape or form. They’ll mostly be about Popstar Akali because it’s what most people are interested in out of all her skins/verses since the K/DA boom. I'll also be using this post to talk about how I portray and understand Akali!

The most popular tropes I’ve seen are the following:

Stupid Akali

Fuckboy Akali

Nothing but baby Akali (derived from her being the maknae/youngest in the group)

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STUPID AKALI

The worst trope I've seen for her is when people portray her as an idiotic person with 1 or no braincells at all 24/7. I don't know how this became such a common characterization for her, but I hate it this pops up. It's one thing for her to be silly at times (anyone can be, really) but it's another thing entirely to constantly see her as straight up stupid. I draw the line at seeing Akali as inefficient, irresponsible, and wholly incapable of doing anything.

Akali can be silly enough to put on a shirt backwards and then take it off when she realizes. She can be silly enough to offer up an improbably idea or suggestion while being fully aware of the implications of it. She can be silly enough to distract a reporter on purpose so she can get away from an interview while grinning mischievously to herself all the while.

She’s not stupid to the point that she can’t understand basic instructions/information. She’s not stupid to the point that other people have to speak for her. She’s not stupid to the point that she’s slow to process anything. She’s not stupid to the point that others have to physically steer her from place to place. She’s not stupid to the point that she can’t do the most basic calculations in her head.

I write her doing pranks sometimes on even the most serious characters but not because she can’t realize that pissing them off would mean trouble. I write her making “corny” jokes sometimes but not because she can’t read the room. I write her stumbling over her words or even herself sometimes but not because she can't express herself and not because she's a clumsy mess.

She can be reckless when she decides to spraypaint something while knowing the cops could chase her down any moment. But whenever she wants to go out spraypainting, she's always dressed up to prevent anyone from recognizing her, she has her entry and exit points mapped out, she has it planned. So, if she does all these preparations beforehand, does she really not exercise caution? Akali knows her own limits. She also knows the streets like the back of her hand. With her being incredibly athletic, she can and will outrun and outmaneuver anyone that wanted to track her down. She does it for the thrill and refuses to let anyone restrict her creative spirit. In fact, the risk of being discovered while vandalizing property tends to be low because she's either done before anyone is tipped off or she's using an abandoned location as her canvas.

She can be overconfident when it comes to doing things she loves and knows she's good at. It won't matter if she's seen as an underdog, she's going to prove every single person that expected her to fail wrong. There's flair in everything she does because of her pride in herself. Breakdancing, rapping, art, fighting, you name it. This attitude of hers backfired many times in her life but if her pride takes a beating, she's not going to stay on the ground. If she's going up against a reigning champion, then she's going into the ring swinging. If she's in a rap battle, she won't be afraid to turn up the heat (it's how she got popular in the Music universe after all). She even makes her own diss tracks aimed at people who do her dirty.

She can be chaotic. She can come up with all sorts of crazy ideas because she thinks it'd be fun, she can write songs in not one clear-cut way and as a result have lots of scratch paper on her desk or incomplete beats/documents in her computer, and she can get side-tracked even when she was previously focusing on one task. But she is not messy to the point that her can't even organize her things, to the point that objects are strewn about everywhere. She can take care of herself.

She's not negligent. This woman can keep track of so many things at once. It's canon in the Music universe that she's still capable of wielding her weapons and you can bet she regularly and properly maintains them. Her lyrics are rewritten and polished multiple times before she thinks they're good enough. She has important dates saved in her calendar to make sure she won't forget to treat her loved ones. Whether she regularly interacts with someone or not, she still checks on them to make sure they're doing okay. She can be methodical in her approaches to some things because she puts great care into them. Her loved ones are important to her, and her weapons, lyrics, etc. are extensions of herself and are a window to her soul.

She's not tactless when she refuses to play along with an interviewer. She's just not one to stir up drama for the sake of it. She's not afraid to openly cold-shoulder someone riling her up especially when her reaction is being broadcasted live. She'll tell a reporter to back off when she doesn't like the questions she's being asked. Does she come off as rude? Yes, to those who thrive off juicy gossip. But she also has a reputation of being a no-nonsense person despite that. She shuts down anyone who insults her or anyone she's close to.

In line with this, not only can she walk the walk, but she can also talk the talk when it's worth it. She can be a smooth talker if she wants to be. She's not always the quiet type. In the ALL OUT interview, Akali was very lively while explaining how they came up with the EP and even joked around about True Damage being the reason for her "leaving" K/DA.

Although I don't completely see the ALL OUT interview as canon. Riot had to call on Shannon Arrum Williams, the voice actress of Jett from VALORANT, since she can speak both Korean and English. I don't know if that's the only reason why they didn't choose Krizia Bajos (Base Akali VA), but I want to say that although Akali and Jett are similar personality-wise, Jett comes off as more playful in contrast to Akali being more aggressive/sarcastic. Akali's songs paint her as an untouchable badass with Soyeon sounding close to Krizia, but Jett's VA just does better voicing a generally more upbeat character and I believe that played a part in how Akali was done in that interview.

Akali can be talkative and cute and excited—with the right people. Not just a random interviewer. I'm just saying that Akali's lines in the interview have been delivered a bit differently. In K/DA's interview with PopRox, Akali never willingly offers up information herself until she's prompted. She sounds much cooler and composed. In fact, Akali has the least number of lines in the article. In both the article and the All Out video though, we figure out that she's much more open to talking about her creative process.

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FUCKBOY AKALI

The second worst trope for me is when people see her as a fuckboy. This commonly appears in settings where she has a complicated relationship with another person or if she has recently broken up with them. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth when this plot in general is used, not even just for Akali specifically.

There's nothing wrong with a character being sexually active. My problem is when people use this trope to portray Akali as someone who treats others with little respect, only going after them for the sake of satisfying herself/her curiosity. The pride of being able to get anyone she wants is conveniently amplified in the Popstar universe because she's rich and popular, therefore making the process easier. And this whole "get anyone she wants" thing is what's supposed to bring her a false sense of comfort or at least distract her from whatever problem she's going through. Honestly, I think a part of why this trope is so popular is because it's supposed to make Akali more attractive or charming* by building her up more as the "bad boy/girl" type.

But a character can be the "bad boy/girl" type without being in everyone's pants.

With that, I don't think Akali would be the type of person to sleep around for the sake of it. A character as standoffish as Akali wouldn't so readily take the closest person to her to the nearest bedroom, even with no strings attached. Her sense of independence is a core part of her character, it would take her forever to genuinely warm up to someone, much less come to terms with her wanting their company. And it's also how she protects herself. K/DA Akali is mellower (mainly because of the setting) compared to her Classic counterpart but even when someone is upfront with what they want with her, Akali will not shy away from shutting them down without mincing her words. I pretend this scene from the Zed comic doesn't actually exist because I write Akali as a lesbian but for this part of my post, it's a good example of being direct. She takes her vibe checks seriously. She may flirt with women she finds interesting or talk to them in a way that makes her sound like she's flirting, but it doesn't necessarily mean that she'll follow through. She can also be tough when she doesn't really want anything to do with someone but needs to talk to them. She'd be up in their face while clearly wanting to be anywhere else but there.

*I get the idea that a person that sleeps with a lot of people is someone that must be charming. Typically. But Akali can be charming without catering to the fuckboy trope. Because here's the thing: my ship partners, since the start of this blog, are all hard-to-get muses. What's hotter than a bad girl type girlfriend that only has eyes for you? A partner whose walls were broken down by one specific person? Akali knows she's a hotshot and handsome as hell, but she only wants her partner. It's a huge deal for her to be in a relationship and she won't entertain others while she's busy showering her partner with love and affection. Not to mention that she won't appreciate other people trying to get her partner's attention. Akali is protective of her loved ones, and her possessiveness can show by keeping her partner close, especially when said partner has shown disinterest in everyone else.

Credit also would have to be given to her partner because it means they showed Akali that it's worthwhile for her to stay and emotionally invest in a proper relationship.

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NOTHING BUT BABY AKALI

I had some difficulty describing this without making it sound similar to the first trope. The best way I can differentiate the two is that Stupid Akali downplays her intelligence as a whole and Baby Akali downplays her maturity.

As I stated in the start of this post, this trope typically comes from Akali being the maknae of K/DA, but Akali's role in the Classic/Runeterra universe also plays a part in it. Because of her also being the youngest out of all the known Kinkou champions and her leaving Shen's tutelage, she's seen as a brat. People can't stand her indignance at Shen's teachings and they always downplay her actions as her "not knowing any better." She fights for what she believes in and if it ends up with her not quite making as big of an impact as she hoped, then people roll their eyes at her.

Maybe people are expecting her to be an anime MC or something since she's already a ninja complete with an arsenal of weapons and the N.aruto run, but the point of her character is that she's been forced to stick to the shadows and watch as everything is taken from her and everyone around her. She is tired of doing nothing when she can help. She may not always know the best solution to every single problem, but that doesn't change the fact that she wants to do something. Serial killer Jhin is right in front of her after she was held hostage by him? Time to punch him in the face, beat him to the ground, and shoot him with his own gun. Giant tree guardian uproots itself with the aim to kill a Noxian kid? Her principles pull her into attacking the guardian even when she herself was going to teach the Noxian a lesson prior to finding out he was a kid. Undead behemoth 4x her size leading an army to rampage across Ionia? You can bet Akali's going headfirst into the fight and making sure Sion gets a taste of her steel.

Now you may be thinking, why does Akali tend to default to violent solutions? Because she refuses to fall back into the trap of passiveness disguised as something good for the sake of balance. She doesn't go for violent solutions because she's a bloodthirsty brute.

"It's not the killing I'm about — it's the cause." - Akali, long move in game.

Her line of thinking does not always work in her favor because the very land she lives in operates under that same concept of balance she walked away from. If it's not other people that are getting in her way of doing things (e.g. Shen and Zed when she wanted to kill Jhin in the Zed comics), then Ionia will force her into the back foot, evident in the way she handled the Tree Guardian in the LoR cinematic. Now, I'm not saying the people that tend to this balance, such as Shen, have no wisdom. It's just that Akali has been exposed to the horrible effects of having to enforce that balance, as stated in her biography. And it doesn't help that the ones that could've helped her deal with these feelings are either missing/probably dead (her father), busy at times (Shen and Kennen), or clearly don't like her (her mother).

But Akali’s soul was restless, and her eyes were open. Though the Kinkou and the Order of Shadow had come to an uneasy accord in the wake of the Noxian invasion of Ionia, she saw that her homeland continued to suffer. She questioned whether they were truly fulfilling their purpose. Pruning the Tree was meant to eliminate those who threatened the sacred balance... yet Shen would always urge restraint. - Excerpt from Akali's champion biography.

In the LoR cinematic, when Shen tells her how to calm the Tree Guardian down, her first instinct isn't to figure out how balance can be restored. No, her first course of action is to throw herself into danger, insisting that saving a person's life is more important than upholding the rules that govern the land.

"Can't we just bend the rules? He's a kid!" - Akali, in reply to Shen in the LoR cinematic.

She has strong complicated feelings about Ionia's balance. Hearing her in-game voicelines, it's obvious that she's fueled by this sense of justice, hellbent on avenging those she failed to protect, and wanting nothing to do with the Kinkou. She even goes as far as outright mocking the fundamental principles of the Kinkou. Except you can also look at this voiceline beyond something as simple as showing disagreement with the Kinkou. What was the reason for Akali turning rogue again? She saw countless Ionians fall to the Noxians. Why can't the Ionians be the people still living and breathing after the invasion? She is not willing to let go of what she endured during her time with the Kinkou.

"You're dead, I'm alive. See? Balance!" - Akali, killing a champion in game.

Akali being so happy at the end of the cinematic is so bittersweet because in this instance of restoring balance, nobody had to die. One life was saved (the kid's), and another was made better (Shen casting a spell on the shrine protector that turned it into a bigger tree), for the lack of a better term. Of course, one can argue that technically the lives of the trees the kid cut down were still lost. The important thing in this cinematic is that Akali knows she did everything in her power to prevent casualties.

K/DA Akali with the Baby Akali trope is treated with more "affection" but in such a way that's essentially exaggerated babying to the point that some people border on infantilizing her. I say "affection" because I get that people want cute scenarios where other characters spoil Akali but sometimes it's overdone and paints a picture of a useless Akali. And to clarify, I'm not against muses spoiling or being affectionate with Akali. I'm pointing out here that this trope stems from how people overemphasize the babying and then it would seem that Akali relies on being treated like a child. Of course, this trope can pop up even without the active enabling from other characters. She is not a ramyun guzzling gamer with a horrible sleep schedule. She is not a gremlin that hides in her room while her bandmates stock her up with her daily dose of ramyun.

She has her likes and dislikes like any other person, but I hate it when people condense a character into a fragment of what they really are because they choose to only emphasize certain likes and dislikes. I'm sure she does love playing video games and I see it as a way for her to bond with friends, who may or may not be good in the same games as her. She does love spicy ramyun, as stated in the 8 facts part of her profile, but that is not her entire personality.

In a way, this trope loosely connected to the Stupid Akali trope. This trope doesn't appear as often as the first two but it's still annoying when I do see it. It's honestly insane how the same trope can have such contrasting perceptions on the same person, just in different settings.

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CONCLUSION

I think Akali's main character traits make these tropes nonsensical. She's quick-witted, independent, and strong-willed. Not to mention that the tropes come from people overdoing something until it turns into a tasteless characterization of Akali.

After all this though, I'm not saying that my portrayal of Akali is perfect. There are times when I'm indecisive with how I want certain things to happen or when I'm unsure with how I want Akali to talk back to someone. I suppose aside from taking the opportunity to talk about how Akali can be mischaracterized and how I write her, another point I wanted to make through this post is that I hope people don't come to my Akali talking in a way that's influenced by perceptions such as the ones stated above.

I hold Akali dear to me, having written her for years already. I do not appreciate it when her character is misconstrued, and an interaction is based on an out-of-scope idea (not related to lore, existing headcanons, relevant plot, and the like). Fictional character or not, we're all on this platform roleplaying for a reason.

And that's all for this post! :) Thank you for reading all the way through, I hope everyone has a nice day ❤️

[veryimportantsparkles]

"I really like her!" whispers Bitey with a smile. "I think we're going to be vampire sisters!" "I thought you wanted to hunt vampires now, not adopt them," Onmund whispered back sternly. He was wary of this girl. He had given up on pleading with his headstrong wife to stop raiding Nordic tombs, and now she's finally unleashed an undead terror she can't put back. "You know it's not so simple, honey!" the Orc giggles, "This is the first vampire I've met who wasn't rude! And anyways," she strokes his hair like a pet, "I kill disgusting ugly stupid Nords all the time but I keep you around. It's the same thing." "Y-yes dear," he looks at his feet and tries to look polite, all the way to Solitude.

At long last, Bitey got all the special missions and new merchants in the Thieves Guild, and her final reward was to be named Guildmaster. But uh, she kind of thought she already was the Guildmaster? After all the nonsense she's put up with, only now do they recognize her as the boss? What, does Guildmaster just mean 'best errand boy' or something? She was trudging all over the country for these idiots. The ceremony didn't even have a cake.

Anyways, Bitey has become restless and ran off into the wilds once more. There's a cave near Riften that she hadn't found the time to peek into yet, so she headed out east and stumbled into...the main Dawnguard questline.

Bitey was enamored with the architecture of Fort Dawnguard and, despite being a cured vampire herself, has no problem killing other vampires. In fact, killing vampires is how she became a vampire in the first place. Every single vampire she's ever met has been hostile, except maybe one, and even she was rude.

And then Bitey opened up Dimhollow Crypt and met Serana. She wasn't super friendly, but she didn't attack, and sometimes that's enough. Bitey's spent her whole life retaliating for one cruelty after another, so even the slightest ounce of peaceful behavior makes her enamored. That's how she got entangled with the College of Winterhold, how she became so attached to Onmund, that's even how the guys in the Thieves' Guild have managed to stay alive. You don't even really have to be nice to her. There are about a hundred random caves and ruins in the forsaken country of Skyrim where you get shot at just for looking at a guy. But Serana just wanted to go home, and Bitey didn't really have a reason to refuse.

Out of character, I had planned out that I was going to re-infect Bitey with vampirism, but once I got in and was looking around, I wasn't sure I wanted to pick the Volkihar faction over the Dawnguard faction. I read up on the questline, and if you refuse to join them at the beginning of the story you can still get turned into a vampire lord later on. So I figured I would leave it up to Bitey to decide. When we got to Serana's home, her dad didn't seem very loving, and Bitey picked up on that a little. But it wasn't until she saw the vampire lord transformation animation that she made her decision. Because the red fleshy texture on the transformation is fucking gross, Bitey noped out of there. Dawnguard it is!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Aita for not making any of my characters, that I have to crank out daily, pansexual/polysexual/omnisexual specifically and only making them bi?

🏳️‍🌈👶🏼 so i can recognize this later lmao also I'm not panphobic or anything, this isn't about the validity of the label, pan is fine.

So i (20snb bi) have a project I'm working on where I take all the characters from a specifc media I'm into and pair them up with each other to make every possible ship kid from every possible ship(excluding characters who are kids themselves or are related or something, that shit is gross). Basically taking every character and pairing them up with another and creating a kid I think they'd have. Its a big project with lots of characters and I'm easily over 400 at this point. I really enjoy this, even if I'm not even 25% complete.

However I set a schedule for myself that at least one ship kid needs to come out each day which, considering I draw them, color them and give them some development and some even have siblings, (The refs themselves easily take me an hour to an hour and a half) I have to make lots of them quickly to keep up with my daily grind. I've been doing this project for over a year and although it's stressful, I can get them out quickly with breaks for myself.

Their character sheets all have some pretty basic info like their name, gender, pronouns, personality and more but it also includes their sexuality/orientation. I have a pretty basic list of options for what their sexuality will be: straight, lesbian, gay, Enbian, bi, Aro, ace and aroace with a few random things like polyam, WLW and a good amount of the something-loving-something/juvelic terms. I did this because, well, there's not many entirely unique orientations outside of them and although I love mogai/xenogenders and complex identities, I dont want to potentially drag up discourse or bring problems to my budding art blog over it. Its just not worth it to me to turn something I really care about on its head, even if I like microlabels.

In this case, I'm using bi as an umbrella term as most of the other terms share the same definition with slight variations in wording or action but not much difference in practice. We all like everyone, it's basic stuff. However, apparently this is a problem.

I've gotten one or two anons asking me questions about my guides asking some kind stuff like is this lesbian ship kid a butch or femme or Is this picture of them now or just at the age you put on the ref and other harmless stuff. Then things got rude with some Nbphobia but thrice now I've gotten asks:

1. Asking snarkily if im a panphobe

2. insulting me for not specifically writing pan or Omni and just writing bi.

3. Saying that I "clearly dont care about pansexual representation." Then brought up how my primary oc is native american so i clearly care about representation but that oc used to be a sona and I'm native?? Its confusing. (And Lowkey racist shit to just assume any native character is a "diversity quota" character instead of just a person existing but I digress-)

Im not pan, im bi so ig these people assume I'm not cool with pan people which isnt true? I have nothing aginest them, they are just pretty similar and I dont feel like it matters if they are specfically bi or pan or poly or any other label. I don't go into details like that for any other sub-group, not even pronouns and I included combinations and some common Neopronouns. I understand the importance of representation but my project has less than 50 people looking at it every day, Im not netflix or something. I'm one guy on the most LGBT blogging site with a big project and very little audience, I'm not showing people who wouldn't already know what pan is that pansexuality exists.

This project isn't that deep considering the characters in question aren't human/dont have human characteristics.(no it's not hazbin/helluva) Also ive never spoken about lgbt discourse or stated anything remotely close to it beyond the guides just passively having characters who are an LGBT identity. I've not even mentioned all the potentional orientations they could have so I'm not sure where/why this came up in the first place. The most politcial things ive said are calling out a creator in my fandom who outed themselves as a transphobe and mentioning im pro-palestine. That's it.

I mean this is pretty low stakes, I can just block these people and be done with it and this some seriously online shit but I just wanna check.

Am I being an asshole for just writing bi instead of specifying their mspec label because I have to produce characters quickly and I don't see enough of a difference to warrant a change/specification that would ultimately slow and clog an already stressful and complex project?

I dont think I am but idk lol

What are these acronyms?

[teaberrii]

Chapter Twenty-Six: The End... of Us?

Alhaitham has the looks and the smarts. He will also be the stand-in CEO for his grandfather's company for a year.

But, he's been mysteriously cursed to turn into a cat every night since his eighteenth birthday… until he meets you, an employee at his grandfather's company, who rescues him as a cat and changes him back with one kiss.

Alhaitham/You

Notes:

Cross-posted on AO3

Female reader

Chapter index at the end of chapter one

Alhaitham is the only one outside your family who accompanies you to visit your father’s grave as Childe has left for Snezhnaya. After paying your respects, the four of you are walking together when your mother says, “This is the first time you brought someone special to visit.”

You and Alhaitham exchange a little smile.

“I can already imagine the reaction,” Aether says. “He’d be like”—he puts his hands to his cheeks and looks surprised—“oh, finally!”

“Very funny,” you deadpan. Then, you gently nudge your sister. “But maybe he would be more surprised at the friends-to-lovers story.”

Lumine slightly blushes, and your mother laughs. “It’s just you now, Aether.”

“Yeah. How’re things with Ayaka?” Lumine asks.

“Ayaka?” your mother asks. She looks at Aether. “Who’s this friend of yours?”

Aether gives Lumine a deadpan look, and she smiles. “I’ll tell you later,” Aether says.

They reach the entrance, and your mother turns to you. "Well, are you two going to head off somewhere?"

Lumine coughs loudly. “Y’know… we still haven’t forgotten the pictures of that date you said you would be going on.”

“Ugh,” Aether groans, “I’d rather not see people get lovey-dovey after what I saw—”

“Isn’t there a street fair happening nearby?” Lumine interrupts. “We should go there together!”

So, that’s how you and Alhaitham end up following your mother and siblings to the street fair. You and Alhaitham are holding hands, trailing behind everyone else.

Should he tell you about his conversation with his mother? He has his suspicions, but the last thing he wants is to burden you with them. They might not even be true. Yet, he can’t get that conversation out of his head. 

“Hey, handsome.”

Alhaitham turns and sees you looking at him curiously.

“Thinking about something?”

Is it that obvious?

“You haven’t said anything in a while.”

Ah.

He smiles slightly and kisses you on the head. But before he can say anything, you hear someone call Aether's name.

“A-Ayaka? What are you doing here?”

“We were just passing by."

He isn't showing much of his face, but you recognize the voice anywhere. Ayato appears behind his sister, wearing a hat and a face mask. However, even behind it, you know he's smiling with the look in his eyes. You and Alhaitham walk up to them, everyone saying their hellos. Then, you do a quick introduction to your mother.

Aether looks worriedly at Ayaka, but she already knows what's on his mind. "Don't worry. I have my medication with me." He visibly relaxes, and she loops her arm around his, surprising him. Then, quietly, she says, "...We didn't get to finish our date that day."

Aether turns red. “D-date?”

Lumine laughs. “I… never knew Ayaka could be so bold.”

Eventually, you, Alhaitham, and Ayato are sitting together at a café while Ayaka is exploring the fair with your family.

“Purpose?” you ask.

Ayato puts his coffee down. "It's what I've been thinking about since I lost the lead role. I did want it, but I didn't realize that an actor must put a lot of thought into their characters. Their motivations, desires, drive... The more I thought about it, the more I started thinking about my own life. What's my purpose to act if not for monetary gain?"

“Do you have an answer?” Alhaitham asks.

After a photo shoot, Ayato had Thoma drive him to the hospital to accompany Ayaka for her checkup.

Ayato was patiently waiting outside a hospital room when he felt he was being watched. He turned and happened to see a girl peeking out behind a corner. As soon as he saw her, she quickly moved out of sight.

“Something wrong?”

Ayato turned around and saw Thoma walk up. “I thought I saw someone around the corner.”

“...Don’t tell me it’s a crazy fan or something.”

“That’s what I thought,” Ayato admitted. “But… it doesn't feel that way.”

The door slid open, and Ayaka stepped out with the doctor as he says, "She's in good health. Nothing to worry about. However, I prescribed her some medication that she should carry with her. Just to be safe."

“Thank you, Doctor.” Then, Ayato looked at her sister. “Shall we go?”

“Actually… is there something you can do for me?”

Ayato and Thoma glanced at each other. “What is it?”

As Ayaka led them to a room, she told them about a freshman in high school she shared a room with on the day she had that heart scare with Aether. After Ayato had left, she slid the curtains separating their beds, and they started a conversation. It was then Ayaka learned that the girl was Ayato's fan.

“...She was going through a difficult time because she had just lost her brother,” Ayaka said quietly. “...She tried to follow him. That’s why she’s here.”

Soon, Ayaka stopped in front of a hospital room on the same floor. She slid the door open and Ayato saw a familiar girl sitting on the bed. She looked like the same girl he saw earlier peeking around the corner. As soon as she saw them, she visibly froze.

Ayaka smiled at her. “Hi! Do you remember me?”

"I… I can't believe you really brought him here!"

“I promised. Didn’t I?”

Then, as if gathering her courage, she finally looked Ayato in the eyes. “I’m sorry I seemed to be spying on you earlier… I knew Ayaka was coming, so I came to see her. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

Ayato smiled at her. “Not at all. I heard from Ayaka that you kept her company when she stayed here. So, thank you.”

“N-no! I mean… I should be thanking you!”

“Me?”

The girl smiled. "I read your interview on Teyvat Vogue a couple of years ago. You talked about your upbringing… and why you went into the industry. I thought it was very moving."

Ayato remembered. It was the first interview he'd ever gone into more detail about his ex-fianceé. If only this girl knew that the reason why he went into the industry was now the reason why he felt so lost right now.

“...You brought me strength that I wasn’t alone," she continues, "and I was doing something right.”

Ayato and Thoma glanced at each other. Doing something right? As much as Ayato wanted to know, he knew better than to pry into the private lives of others, let alone a fan.

"...While I don't know what you're going through," Ayato began, "You're never alone. There's always someone somewhere who's going through something similar." Then, he smiled. "I'm glad sharing bits of my story gave you strength."

“I’ve heard of people being inspired by the stories of others. But after talking with her, it felt more personal,” Ayato says. “Of course, she didn’t go into detail about what she was dealing with, but it did give me a fresh perspective on my career and myself.”

You nod. "Sometimes, all we see are numbers of our work. But when you really talk to someone about how much you've impacted them, it hits differently."

“Yes… she said I gave her strength. But I also drew strength from her, as cliché as that may sound." Ayato smiles. "Which is why I will keep trying. For myself and others.”

“That’s quite a healthy outlook,” Alhaitham says.

"Once you land that lead role, we have to celebrate," you say.

Ayato laughs. “Are you sure you’re not using it as an excuse?”

“How can you say that?” you ask, acting hurt.

“Once I do, you and The Strays will be the first to know.”

“We’ll hold you to that,” Alhaitham says with a small smile.

“Yes!” you say. “We’d better not find out through some media article.”

“Why do I suddenly feel pressured?”

After a short laugh, you see Aether tapping on the glass window beside your table. He points at you and then at a nearby food cart that already has a lineup. You look in the direction he's pointing and see a large sign for fried ice cream. Then, you see Aether make an eating gesture, and you look at Ayato and Alhaitham. But before you can say anything, they already know what's on your mind.

“Go ahead,” Ayato says. “We’ll be here.”

Alhaitham watches you leave the café, and his small smile slowly starts to fade, something that Ayato catches.

“Hey,” he says, and Alhaitham looks at him. “Is everything all right?”

“...Yes and no.”

“...I’m always willing to lend an ear.”

Alhaitham exhales deeply. “I’ve been suspecting something that may or may not be true. One of the options is to ask the person it involves… but I can’t do that because of various reasons. Another option is to do a little investigating myself. However…”

“...You’re scared of what you might find,” Ayato finishes quietly.

“...It’s the first time I’ve felt this way.”

"If I were you… I'd do it, anyway." Ayato picks up his coffee. "Knowing the truth is always better than living in the dark. But I bet you already knew that. You just want another push to know you're doing the right thing."

The right thing… Is it truly the right thing? He would be prying into your private life without your knowledge. Shouldn’t he talk about it with you first? But that would involve mentioning his mother’s conversation and his suspicions.

“It involves her, doesn’t it?”

Alhaitham looks up from his coffee. He doesn’t want to answer that question, but Ayato takes his silence as an answer.

“...May I offer an opinion?” Ayato continues.

“Go ahead.”

"If it involves her, no matter how scary or troubling, I think she would appreciate you talking with her. I… know that Thoma had good intentions when he kept my ex's true cause of death a secret. But no matter how painful the truth was, it made me think how differently I would live if I knew the truth."

Eventually, Alhaitham gives him a subtle smile. “...Yes, I think you're right. Thanks, Ayato.”

“I know you two will get through this.”

◆◆◆

Despite what's on his mind, Alhaitham is still preparing dinner for two that evening. What's the best way to talk to you about his suspicions? You're coming over tonight, so he intends to bring it up. He just took the lasagna out of the oven when his phone goes off. Alhaitham takes off his oven mitts and walks over to the kitchen counter. As soon as he sees the name on the screen, he answers it.

“Mom?”

“Haitham… are you home? I’m outside of your apartment.”

“Is everything all right?”

“...There’s something I have to talk to you about.”

Alhaitham stiffens. “...What is it?”

“Can we talk? Face to face?”

Alhaitham glances at the time. “She’s going to be here for dinner soon. …Perhaps we should have dinner together.”

A small pause.

“...Actually, I’d rather talk to you privately.”

Well, that confirms his suspicions.

“It’s about her, isn’t it?”

His mother sighs. “I told you no more secrets, didn’t I?”

“Is this about her father?”

Another pause.

“...I’m going to talk to her tonight,” Alhaitham continues. “I’m going to ask if she knows whether her parents knew you—”

“No!”

The sudden outburst makes Alhaitham's eyes widen, and he tightens his grip on his phone. Does this mean that what he suspects is true? Does his mother really have something to do with your father's death?

“...You know something. What is it?” When his mother remains silent, he firmly says, “Tell me.”

“...Her father got a heart attack on the street. I… was there. It was the day of one of the most important presentations in my career, and I… I accidentally hit him.”

Alhaitham’s eyes widen. “You… what?”

“I wanted to help. Truly I did! But… my phone was dead, and I didn’t know what else to do! A woman called the ambulance and—”

“Did you kill—”

“No! No, I didn’t! Please believe me, Haitham. I did not kill her father. Just let me finish.”

Alhaitham sits on the couch, his hands slightly shaking and his heart racing a million miles per minute. This cannot be happening.

“The car accident only made his injuries and… suffering worse," his mother continues as calmly as she can. "But it wasn’t the cause of his death.”

“...In other words, you could’ve saved him if you brought him to the hospital. You… left an innocent man to die on the streets, Mother.”

“Please… Haitham… you don’t… you don’t understand. That presentation was—”

“I will never understand. You chose a presentation over someone’s life… I cannot—”

“I would not be where I am today if I didn’t make that choice,” his mother says, her voice shaking.

“...How do you know? Life has so many different paths that can lead to the same outcome. But you… you chose one that shows how truly hideous human beings can be.”

His mother falls to her knees. “I… I never could’ve imagined that you would end up dating his daughter.”

“...Her father died a long time ago.” Alhaitham’s gaze hardens. “Just how long have you kept this secret?”

“I am not a person without a conscience, Haitham… I went to therapy because of what I did. I felt… so, so guilty.”

“...And?”

A pause.

"You said you felt guilty," Alhaitham continues. "...What did you do about it? Did you keep hiding it? Were you thinking of putting the past behind you?"

“Yes! I had to move on, Haitham. I couldn’t live in that past forever!” She takes a small breath. “I am sure if you ask her the same thing, she would agree with me. Her father’s gone. Her family also had to move on from this!”

“Do they know the truth?”

“I didn’t kill him.”

“But you could’ve saved him.”

The silence is deafening until…

“...You aren’t going to tell her, are you?” Alhaitham asks.

“...There’s nothing to say. What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

“You’re going to keep running away.”

“I’m not running away!”

Alhaitham stands, a furious look in his eyes. “You’re talking about this because you’re still haunted by the past. You may not have killed him, but why does it feel like you’re seeking acceptance?”

“...Acceptance?”

“...Tell me your reason for telling me about this now. What do you want me to say?”

She has no answer.

“Do you want me to tell you that it’s okay?” Alhaitham asks. “Comfort you as if you’re a child?” He rubs the space between his brows. “You want to tell her, Mother. You want to tell her about what you did and have her tell you that you did nothing wrong. That’s the acceptance you’re looking for.” He inhales sharply. “But you’re too afraid.”

“...You should know I’m not someone to look for someone’s acceptance. I don’t want to hurt her, Haitham. I don’t want to hurt the relationship you have with her.”

So, what is he supposed to do with his information? Hide it from you? 

“She deserves to know this,” Alhaitham says quietly.

“Haitham… how can you think about telling her? You’re risking—”

“...My relationship with her?”

He sighs. He can’t find the words as he never thought his relationship with you might be jeopardized because of what someone else did. It's not even a misunderstanding. While he has nothing to do with this absurd situation, how will you feel knowing you’re dating the son of the woman who left your father to die on the streets? Alhaitham sits down and closes his eyes for a brief moment.

When will this nightmare end?

“...Haitham, I promised you that there would be no more secrets between us. This is me keeping that promise. And… because I did, I’m hoping you will promise to keep this secret just between us.”

“...I don’t know if I can keep that promise.”

Before his mother can say anything else, Alhaitham ends the call. His back is against the couch, his eyes on the ceiling. Then, he put a hand on his forehead and close his eyes. That's when it hits him. He opens his eyes and looks at the time. You should be here by now.

He thinks about texting you, but you’re right across the hall, so—

As soon as he opens his door, he freezes upon seeing you. You look pale and shocked. How long have you been standing there?

He quietly says your name, and you flinch as if snapping out of a trance when you look up. But then the look in your eyes shifts into something Alhaitham has never seen. Anger? Frustration? Confusion?

“...Were you talking about me?” But before Alhaitham can say anything, you ask, “Your mother… had something to do with how my father died?”

He says your name again and moves to put his hands on your shoulders. But when you move away from him, he feels his heart shatter.

“Does she?” you ask again.

“...She does,” Alhaitham answers. Then, as calmly as he can, he tells you what he knows.

He can see the gears turning in your head. Perhaps you’re trying to match her story to what you know about your father’s death. You only mentioned that your father was in an accident and your mother made the decision to take him off life support. But do you know the full story?

“...I don’t… I don’t understand,” you say. “My Mom has never told me this.” Does this mean not even your mother knows? But that's impossible, right? “...I’m sorry. Could we… have dinner another time?”

As soon as Alhaitham nods, you immediately head back into your suite, leaving him scared and powerless.

◆◆◆

Your mother is at home watching TV with Aether and Lumine when she gets a call from you. As soon as she hears the confusion and frustration in your voice, she quickly moves into her room and closes the door.

“Take a deep breath,” your mother says. “What’s going on?”

“You said Dad wanted to be taken off life support because of the complications after his heart attack,” you say. “...But was he also hit by a car?”

Your mother’s face pales. “...Why are you asking?”

“Just… just answer me, please.”

She sits on the edge of her bed. “...He was.”

Your heart almost stops.

“I didn’t lie to you,” she continues. “Your father’s body wasn’t in the best condition when his heart attack happened. But because of the car accident, he was left partially paralyzed. He… didn’t want to live a life where I had to constantly take care of him. He also didn’t want you to carry this burden of thinking you have to care for him when you're older.” You hear her voice break when she says, "He didn't want you to give up your future because of him."

You clench your fists as you try to calm the sudden pain in your chest.

“...Why didn’t you tell me?” you ask, your voice shaking. “I… I didn’t know about this.”

“...You were so young. We didn’t want to hurt you.”

You take a deep breath. “Did you ever find the person who hit Dad?”

“...We tried. The woman who called the ambulance didn’t get her licence plate number in time. …But I know it’s a woman who hit him.” Your mother exhales sharply. “Why are you suddenly asking about this?”

"...What if I told you I could find this person?"

“How in the world are you going to do that?”

“I have my ways.”

And then you end the call.

You drop your phone on the couch beside you and bury your face in your hands. Everything is quiet except for the violent storm inside your heart as you relive the grief, pain, and anxiety your younger self felt many years ago.

He may have died when you were very young, but you can't count the number of times you wish he was still here... to alleviate your mother's pressure of being a single parent and give you guidance in life. Except this time, you're also coming to terms it's your boyfriend's mother who's partly responsible for this pain and suffering.

What will you do now? Are you a terrible person if you continue being with Alhaitham, the son of the woman who left your father to die?

Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door.

You shouldn't be surprised when you see Alhaitham, who looks extremely worried.

“I—”

You both stop.

“There’s—”

You both stop again.

Alhaitham gestures for you to go first.

“...I want to talk to your mother.”

"...I'll do everything I can to get her to talk to you," Alhaitham says. 

You clench your fists. "Does she want to keep running away?"

He wants to hug you, but it's as if something is holding him back. Perhaps it's the look on your face. You're obviously still processing this newfound grief that his mother was involved in your father's death, but there's also something else. It's as if you're fighting with something.

"Let me talk with her," Alhaitham says seriously. "I'll do something about this. I promise."

When you stay silent, he cautiously puts his hand on your cheek. You don't pull away, so he slowly pushes you toward him until he holds you tightly. He feels your arms around him, and he kisses your head.

“...I’m sorry… about all of this,” he says quietly.

“...It’s not your fault.” Then, you slowly let him go and step back. “But… I just need a little time to process all of this.”

Are you hinting at what he thinks you're hinting at?

With a downcast look on your face, you finally ask, "...Could we take a little break?"

Chapter Twenty-Seven

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