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radiance1 · 7 months

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Gimmie a Danny and Damian twins au, but not one where they're all gushy gushy and huggy huggy about the fact that they're reunited.

I want one, where they HATE and try to KILL EACH OTHER. Where they're extremely fucked up in their relationship with one another, but can't kill the other because Taila hoped that they could get along.

They spew poison at each other, inflict pain on each other as easy as BREATHING and would leave the other while heavily injured while saying that they could take care of themselves.

I want them to be near mortal-enemies wrapped up in the bodies of two highly-competent and powerful 14 year olds who cannot give a fuck about each other, has a fleeting thought of killing the other on the best of days but doesn't because of their dear mommy Taila.

Then force them to interact with each other after a long period of separation. I don't give a flying FUCK how you manage to do it, perhaps Danny has to run because his parents vivisected him, perhaps the Nasty Burger explosion couldn't be reversed because Clockwork said no and Danny is torn or perhaps Vlad brings him to Gotham for a gala (either redeemed or not redeemed Vlad), etc, etc.

Force these two children who fucking HATE each other under the same roof, make them interact, make them watch each other interact and make comments about it. Maybe even make an unstable Danny try and KILL Damian, but is stopped by the batfam, or maybe make it that Danny can't even bring himself to kill Damian because he's (discounting Talia) the only family he has left.

Maybe even (if you go the Nasty Burger/Dead Fenton fam au) make Danny hate Bruce Wayne's fucking GUTS because this man is trying to replace his dead father (even though Bruce IS his biological father) and hates him even MORE because he looks so similar to Jack's face that he's literally torn whenever he sees him. Make it that he never stays in the same room as Bruce whenever he's not in mask, make it that he tells Bruce TO HIS FACE that he hates the man for trying to replace his dead FUCKING dad and that he will NEVER accept him as one, biologically related or not.

Maybe even make him not like the batfam either just for the fact that they associate with both Bruce and Damian.

(I just remembered about that one post I saw, but BOY is this ramble gonna get even WORSE for dear old Danny. Though this part isn't really necessary could just read the on top bit lol)

Maybe they even find a way to take away his ghost side, and Bruce (With or without Talia) say that it's for the best for him, and Danny? Danny just fucking BREAKS. DOWN. He's full-on crying and screaming at Bruce and maybe has to be held back by the other batkids or not, or maybe he's just fulling on trying to hit Bruce and Bruce either dodges or just takes it.

Saying how fucking DARE he take away his ghost side, that was apart of him and he had NO FUCKING RIGHT to take away something so precious from him. Then Bruce could say that he doesn't need powers, he could be fully if not even more capable as a human.

And Danny just goes "You don't even get it, do you?" And Danny just cries harder because technically that was one the LAST things linking him to his parents. His DEAD parents. Sure, the accident was his fault, but phantom was created because of their portal, in their lab, in their basement.

Even worse if the reveal went RIGHT and they starting accepting how he was half ghost and trying to change their views on ghosts as a whole, only to die. Then, for some guy to just, take away something like that from him?

Maybe Danny would even say that, rip into him about how that was one of the only things linking him to his parents and even if it wasn't he didn't have the fucking right to decide what to do with HIS body.

"You never had to fucking worry about your parents not accepting you, I did. They still loved me regardless, they tried to change for me. But you wouldn't even know what that feels like, would you, you stupid fucking rich boy."

[idk why I typed that part out but just role with it.]

Maybe Bruce tries to sympathize with Danny about his parents, but Danny just doesn't have any fucks left to give about Bruce's life, or anyone else life in Bruce's life at all and just shuts it down or steamrolls over it. At the end of it all Danny is just a crying, shivering wreck and stares down Bruce with eyes full of HATE that tells Bruce one step closer, and he would KILL him.

Maybe then Damian (Either walks in or was there the entire time.) insults Danny over his weakness and depending on his ghost form or something, and Danny just sees fucking RED and jumps on him. No care that he's no longer half ghost, so that he means he could die more easily, no care to anyone else in that room, no care that Talia wanted both of them to get along and not kill each other.

He tries to kill Damian.

He fails miserably, of course, but he still tries. Then tries again and a fucking gain.

Then after all that he just, doesn't come out of his room, or tries to escape and leave Gotham every chance he gets. He never gets far, but he keeps trying, and he never opens up to anyone in the batfam, not even Alfred.

He's just a kid who lost everything he worked so hard for, everything he tried to hide from his biological mother and her assassin league who tried to keep whatever he had left. Now that kid is fueled by nothing but pure, revolting hatred for the people who took even that from him.

Basically like Dark Danny, but way more powerless and fully human.

[Okay that's enough of me rambling.]

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #dcxdp #danny and damian are twins

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nastyburger · 10 months

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Please say more about the awful Asian designs in Danny Phantom. I'm not Asian but I'd love to have a rundown on the elements that make them offensive so I can avoid and critique those elements in other works. And also you deserve to speak your mind about it

im gonna mostly talk about southeast asian designs since thats what i am and the most familiar with and also what i feel are the show's worst transgression with their casual depictions. tw for racist imagery im gonna link pictures.

there's not much to say about the designs aside from, you know, everything but things to note are the unnatural yellow tone for the skin and closed slanted eyes. veggie burger (fan name for the bg character in the middle) also suffers from the huge nose that sometimes shows up in racist depictions. the straight edge/cut hair as well is somewhat stereotypical. this one isn't as bad but in conjunction with everything else its not ideal. i will give the smallest molecule of credit that at the very least dp never gave any of these bg characters buck teeth.

some depictions are better than others, but theres still missteps happening in one aspect or another. kwan's eyes in a lot of shots/episodes can be too skinny and even too slanted, the girl in the middle is almost perfect but her skin is too yellow (she looks kinda okay on my computer screen but i remember when watching dp on my tv she looked real brightly yellow), and principle ishiyama (who was weirdly forgotten about pretty early on in the show and was replaced by lancer doing most of the school stuff despite not being principle?? which is a whole other issue with how dp treats its poc characters) the same usual notes about the slanted eyes but also the upturned nose is pretty reminiscent of racist japanese art during ww2. again it is not the worst way to draw a nose but combined with everything else in this show's depiction of asian characters its not great, they are on thin ice man.

not to mention, principle ishiyama is the only character here with brown eyes. this is a problem that extends to all poc characters in dp and to my knowledge i think ishiyama might be the only one with them tbh. this is, again, a whole other issue though.

i think the thing that bothers me most about these designs though is that dp is very clearly aware that these depictions are bad. the only difference between the first set of characters and the second is one singular thing: they have a clear speaking role.

suddenly when theyre not stock background characters, dp knows how to act when drawing them. i cannot for the life of me find the image of it, but the last jock guy in the first set gets a speaking role in reign storm (he's cosplaying phantom) and he is drawn with proper open eyes! (theyre also blue but whatever) it just makes me sad that this was a clear choice they made.

the show also went in a different direction in the final product, but early development stuff was really drawing from a lot of japanese/asian influences like danny was originally gonna have a motorcycle (pulling from ghost in the shell) and was even referenced in the show via the akira motorcycle reference (which i once again, for the life of me, cannot find. danny took johnny 13's motorcycle and did the classic akira slide i think it was in million dollar ghost?? idk whichever one where the giw are trying to blow up the ghost zone). danny's name was originally gonna be jackie, named after jackie chan, this i assume was given to jack fenton afterwards. and i think the show having a more martial arts direction with the action was also gonna be a thing? that one could be wrong dont quote me on that, there was an episode where danny and vlad have like a weird ninja fight though im pretty sure.

either way my point here is that they wanted to pull from all these influences and it was prominent enough during development that they sprinkle references to it throughout the show and yet their portrayal and treatment of asian characters in the show is so abysmal it just feels Bad™, you know? i cant really put it more eloquently than that, like its very take and no give with it.

it overall just puts a bad taste in my mouth, and its sad that it still affects people years later. like i mentioned in the tags of the post that started this discussion with that whole old trend of putting yourself into the bg of dp screenshots, i felt alienated by that. and its not the people who participated's fault obviously but most of the people i saw participating were white fans (going off of how they drew themselves) and it made me a bit mad that they were able to enjoy the style of the show in a more carefree manner than i ever could. i didnt want to ruin anyone's fun obviously, but a small part of me wanted to bring to light how i wasnt on equal ground with them in that situation.

#seance #considered putting this under a read more but i decided i dont want to give people the choice to just not look at it

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inthememetime · 2 years

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Uncle Vlad AU

AU where Vlad actually gets along with the adults in the Fenton household pretty well. The Problem is the Teachers. (And ghosts. But mostly the teachers).

Maddie:

He and Maddie have been flirting awkwardly since they were 10 years old because it was funny when adults did it, and never stopped. Neither means anything by it.

Yes, Mr. Lancer, Jack does know that.

No, we do not need you to send Danny home with the Scarlet Letter. There is no affair. You know what, if you spent this much time protecting my kids from bullies, we-

Good mom, ok? She is! Sure, she gets distracted by work a lot, but she's not intentionally negligent, and she does her best. She just isn't able to connect with Danny the way she can with Jazz.

Jack:

Thinks the awkward flirting is hilarious. Regularly eggs on both his wife and BFF. Hides out at Vlad's to watch football games.

ADHD solidarity with Vlad. Two bros chillin' on a Packers couch, oi, asshole, did you just fumble in the first kickoff! Yeah, he did, which reminds me,did you want to come by for-

Jack was supposed to be there to ask Vlad for help on the portal. They have watched the Bears beat the Vikings, made plans for the weekend, managed to cook an entire meal, and it's not until 2 days later that Jack remembers. (Am I projecting my ADHD? You better bet )

Like Maddie, he isn't intentionally negligent, he just gets distracted super easily. He does his best, but often fails. A true himbo: strong of body, giant of heart, dumb of ass.

Vlad:

Died 20 years ago, but also recognizes that putting his face into a portal to another dimension wasn't a great idea.

Reiterates lab safety constantly despite consistently breaking the rules.

"Remember, children, do not eat or drink in the lab."

"Um. You're drinking ectoplasm right now, though."

"And I'm dead! I can get away with it!"

Despite this, neither Jack or Maddie know he's dead. Plasmius? "Cool costume!" Loses a hand that grows back in a day? "How'd you get that illusion to work?" Jokes about being dead? "Ha ha, yes, we get it. You're dead inside and like grim humor."

Neither Danny or Jazz- who do know- are allowed to tell their parents, because, "come on, guys, don't ruin a 20 year experiment for me! I wanna know how long it takes!"

Vlad is "independently wealthy". As in, he robbed a bunch of billionaires, and has blackmail on twice as many.

So as not to draw too much suspicion, he's a writer. Mostly trashy romance novels or technical manuals. There is no in-between.

Danny:

Dies. Immediately joins Vlad in death jokes. Jazz: You NEED TO talk about it! Danny: IDK, Jazz, I'm still pretty shocked. Get it?

Vlad: Hey, I gotta go visit dead family for the holidays, wanna come with?

Danny: Is that where you go every year? What do you do?

Jazz: Please don't make a ghost joke, please don't make a-

Vlad: Yeah, well, we go haunting, play games, decorate the cemetery, you know. Just get into the holiday spirit, and have a damned good time.

Jazz: I'm calling the Ghostbusters.

Starts learning how to fight ghosts- Uncle Vlad helps, of course, and- DANIEL PHANTOM, WHY are you HERE, and not in math class?! GO.

Nobody knows why Vlad's so chill about the death thing until his family comes to visit- turns out, his mother's maiden name was Addams. Yes, those Addams'.

#danny phantom #inthememetime #vlad masters #danny phantom au #redeemed vlad masters #jazz is so tired

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zen-the-dumb · 6 months

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Hello! I'd like to put in a request, please. I love your writing!

Okay, so, could I please have (all these characters from mha) Tamaki, Kirishima, and Hawks (separately. And idk if you do multiple characters, if not, then just Kirishima, please.) With an s/o who wears glasses? Idk what the scenario could be, but like, maybe they lose them and can't see? I do that a lot lmao.

Thanks in advance!! Stay safe!

Hello anon. Yeah! Ill do Kiri first then Hawks and Tamaki. Great choices! Thank you for reading and im glad you like it!

Kirishima when his s/o loses their glasses.

You had lost your glasses earlier that morning. No matter how hard you searched for them, you couldnt find them anywhere in your dorm.

As the minutes of your searching ticked by, you began to panic. It was only ten minutes until you had to be in class and they were nowhere to be found.

Finally, you just picked up your phone and exited your room and out into the hallway.

Just as normal, Kirishima was waiting for you by the door out of the dorm building.

“Y/n? Where are your glasses?” Kiri asked almost as soon as he saw you.

You looked at him, though he looked more like a blob with red hair to you.

“They’re gone. Its okay though. Ill be fine. Its just for today” you responded.

“If you say so..” he said a bit nervously.

You made it to class safely and without incident. Kirishima left you after he walked you to class 1-B and headed toward class 1-A.

During class, you squinted to see the board. The math notes that Mr. Vlad King had written on the board were completely unintelligible without your glasses. You struggled to see and just jotted down the notes the best you could.

You sighed with relief when the lunch bell rang. You stood outside your class and waited for Kirishima. It took about five minutes before he came to get you for lunch.

You walked down the stone brick path outside while you searched for a place to sit.

“Y/n?” Kirishima questioned, turning his head to look at you from where he stood beside you.

“Yeah?” You responded as if nothing was wrong.

“Are you sure you’re okay without your glasses? You’re squinting a-lot, man” he asked you, clearly just concerned for your own well-being.

“Im fine!” you insisted again.

Not a few moments later, you tripped over a brick that had come out of the path a bit.

Kirishima frantically grabbed the back of your shirt to keep you from falling.

“Are you alright?!”

He pulled you back up and you regained your balance.

“We should go find your glasses. They’re in your dorm, right?” he seemed resolute.

“Yeah..” you flushed with embarrassment at your stupidity of tripping over such an obvious brick.

Kirishima took you by the hand and guided you back to your dorm. He opened the door and began asking you basic questions, like where did you last have them?

After about ten minutes of you both looking together Kirishima noticed how much of a mess your bed sheets were. He straightened them out and exclaimed.

“What?” you questioned his exclaimation.

Kirishima came back over to you without saying anything. He put your glasses back on your face for you.

Now that you could finally see, you saw that he was smiling and clearly very proud of himself for finding your glasses.

“Better?”

———————————————————————————————

I Hope you enjoyed.

*_Requests are open_*

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kawaiijohn · 11 months

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Danny tries to pawn the Ghost King position off on his classmates.

Idk what I was doing, and then suddenly it turned into wes/danny I'm so fucking sorry?

T rating I embarrassed myself fucking writing this bc it came out of nowhere girl (gn) HELP

"Hey Dash how about instead of you focusing on your homework you just start beating me up, just like old times! I sure miss being slammed into a locker."

Dash looks at Fenton, confused before scoffing.

"Even though I normally love wailing on you, Fenturd, coach needs me on my best behavior. State's next week and I'm one loser swirlie away from being suspended."

"I won't scream or anything, I promise! Whaddya say? You get to beat the snot out of me and I won't even complain! I'll even thank you for it." Danny responds, looking around nervously. "But I'm in a bit of a rush, so can you make it quick and do it, say, before six tonight?"

Danny gives the other boy the saddest, most punchable puppy dog eyes he possibly can.

Dash rolls his eyes seeing Fenton ham it up. The loser only does this for his birthday, so it's really weird having him request it four months in advance. Dash decides to ignore the request, only gently pushing the dweeb out of his way. "Beat it, Fentertainment Tonite- I know you don't have a life, but I do."

Danny curses as Dash disappears down the halls.

"I know you want to punch me. You wanna do it so bad." Danny eggs on another of the jocks- Travis, he thinks. "Remember that time I said you punch like my Grandma?"

His grandma taught both his mom and aunt how to fight, but Travis doesn't need to know that.

"Beat it, jackwipe!" Travis shoves Danny out of the way and continues down the hall.

"The one time I need to be shoved into a locker or punched, none of the jocks want to even look at me." Danny bemoans.

He's already struck out with Dash and Kwan- both of which need to stay as non violent as possible with administration lurking around this close to their big game. Paulina pretended he didn't exist, and Star laughed in his face. Something about 'she already kicked his ass months ago'. Which was true, but he was certain he's done something since then worth beating him up for.

"I can't ask Sam or Tuck, it's gotta be someone I hate." Danny pauses with a shudder. "But definitely not Vlad- he already has an ego the size of the Milky Way..."

Danny hears the bell ring and wipes his sweaty palms on his pants.

He has until six tonight to get his ass beat. He can do that, right?

---

Danny is downright panicked now.

Detention really put a damper on his plans. Being stuck in a sweltering classroom with Lancer and Wes only made him more nervous. It really didn't help that Lancer needed helping hands for some after school thing.

Danny only has one option, and he's glad it's one of his 'enemies'.

"Heyyyyyy Wes, what's happening tonight?" Danny slings his arm around the tall boy's shoulder, pulling him down to pipsqueak height. "Wasn't that round of detention just fun?"

Wes nearly growls and shoves Danny off of him. "Fenton! You're the reason I was even there in the first place! If it wasn't for you and your stupid ghost bullshit I would have gotten to class on time!"

"Yeah?" Danny asks, being as annoyingly positive as he possibly can. "Well it's good that there was two of us, or else Lancer wouldn't have let either of us out until well after six!"

Danny looks at the clock nervously- five fifty.

He has ten minutes.

"I don't find moving entire stacks of chairs halfway across the school fun, or even a fair punishment for being late twice in a week. So what if the crafting club has their expo tonight? They should be the ones moving furniture." Wes tries to overtake Danny in the hall but he can't outwalk the other boy.

"But we got to spend all day with each other! Isn't that just swell?" Danny pukes in his mouth a little. He's got a goalpost to reach in less than ten minutes, and my the Ancients he's gonna do it.

"Spending time with a chronic liar and freak of nature isn't really what I consider fun, Fenton."

"Yeah, but we really bonded, don't you think? Had some quality one-on-one without you being a creep outside my house."

Wes's face reddens. "HEY! That was one time, and I don't want to have the cops chase me again. Or your parents, who are worse somehow."

"See, we're bonding here!" Danny jogs alongside Wes, making sure to keep pace at just the right level of obnoxious. But we should really bond sometime in the next... eight minutes."

"God there it is again! What? Do you have important Phantom shit to do at six or something?" Wes rubs his temples. "You're being freakier than normal today and I'm gonna get to the bottom of it."

"There's nothing to get to the bottom of, I just have something to do later. Not Phantom or ghost related- something completely normal and human, yep."

"God you piss me the fuck off, Fenton." Wes crosses his arms and blocks the doorway out of the school. "And one of these days, I'm gonna get you to confess, and then it'll be all over."

"Yeah, that's nice and all, but like, wouldn't it just be so satisfying to, I dunno, take out all that pent up frustration on me?" Danny grins devilishly at the other boy. "Come on, I have such a punchable face! Aaaaand since you say I'm a ghost or whatever it won't actually hurt me, right?"

Danny gets right up into Wes's personal space and looks up at him with a shit-eating grin.

"Back off, Fenton." Wes backs himself against the lockers. He looks anywhere but Danny's face. "Personal space is a concept even stupid ghosts understand."

"Yeah, but if I'm a stupid ghost doesn't that make you wanna prove it? Can't you prove it by beating me up? You have a camera..." Danny reaches for the camera slung around Wes's shoulder and points it at his own face. "It'd be soooo easy."

Wes's face is currently doing its best impression of a tomato as he continues to ignore Danny.

"Please? I'm gonna start begging you to beat my ass soon if you don't acknowledge me, Wes."

"Back. Off. Fenton." Wes stares Danny right in the face. "Last chance."

Danny does the opposite and yanks Wes to stare him in the eyes. "You wanna punch me so bad it makes you look stupid, Weston." Danny chuckles and makes his eyes flash green. "Your face is sooooo red with rage- you wanna kick my ass, admit it!"

Danny barely gets a warning before Wes lunges and tackles him to the ground with a kiss.

Both boys gasp in surprise and Wes backs himself against the lockers with a loud bang.

They sit in silence, staring at each other in disbelief before Danny laughs.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Sh-shut up! It's not my fault you're kind of..."

"Wait, have you been staring at me this whole time because you're crushing on me?" Danny laughs in disbelief as Wes turns even brighter red. "Is that how you 'accidentally' discovered my secret?"

"No!" Wes sputters out. "I don't sta-"

"Stalk me, yeah. Dude you follow me around with a camera to try and expose me. What sort of fruitloop shit are you pulling??"

"Well, if you weren't lying about being a human, then I wouldn't need to-"

"Yeah yeah, whatever." Danny doesn't know how to feel about it, really. Wes is kind of cute, and he's unhinged just like the rest of his friends. But he's also obsessed with exposing him, and kind of stalks him (to no success).

He spends a few moments before he glances at the clock again.

Two minutes left.

He can use this to his advantage, even if it's dirty and underhanded.

"Hey Wes. You really fucking suck at kissing." He eggs the other boy on. "Like, zero technique, all desperation!"

"Shut up!"

Wes starts crying a little. Danny only feels a little bad, but he really needs this to happen.

"What, even I've kissed people before and I'm a loser! Plus I bet you can't even man up and fight me like I want- you're such a little cuck boy, Weston! Always relying on other people to do the dirty work of beating my ass so you can gather your evidence like a little bitch in the dark."

"I said shut up!" Wes's face is bright red again- an angry embarrassment with tears streaming down his face.

But he still has to keep going, even if it feels gross to do this to someone who he kind of likes.

"Make me, Wesley." He spits.

---

It's a dirty brawl but it ends with a very red-faced Wes pinning a bruised and elated Danny to the ground. The latter feels awful about playing dirty with Wes's feelings, but it seems the other boy really needed to take out his rage on him.

"Sooooo, you admit you have complete victory in this fight, right Wes?" Danny smiles up from underneath the other boy.

Wes sputters, his face still bright red and tears running down his cheeks. "You're such a fucking little shit, Fenton."

"Thanks, I try!. But I need you to accept that I'm saying you have total victory in this fight."

Wes sighs and lets go of Danny's wrists and sits back against the lockers. "Yeah, sure. I beat your ass fair and square. Also do you know how weird it is to see you healing this fast? I swear I gave you a black eye."

"You did. I'm just a fast healer." Danny sits up and looks around. He feels... guilty. At least for only finding one person to do this to.

The clock strikes six.

"Also, I'm sorry I lied- you're not a bad kisser. I just needed you to beat my ass. Also sorry about what's about to happen." Danny rubs the back of his neck.

"Sorry about wha-" Wes is interrupted by a portal opening beside the two of them.

"Sorry for being impolite, we should assume." An Observant materializes out of the void beside him. "It's not polite for the crown prince to wait until the last minute to find a replacement, but since you have... bested Prince Phantom in combat, albeit not formal combat, the rules are the rules."

Wes glares at Danny who is doing his best trying to disappear without going ghost.

"Prince Phantom??" Wes spits at the other boy.

"Yep! Former Prince Phantom." Danny smirks. "And again, sorry, but they only gave me today until six to find a replacement. The whole King schtick isn't really my jam."

Wes stares at the other boy as more Observants spill from the hole in reality and bow to him.

"Fenton..."

"Hey! I'm not gonna bail on you or anything. You still need an advisor- I just really don't wanna deal with the formality shit. Hope you understand!"

Danny gives Wes a peace sign as he's escorted through the portal, pissed off, confused, and shell-shocked.

#danny phantom #phanfic #danny x wes #answered #currentlylurking #wes weston #danny fenton #idk what this even was #but yeah take it #unidentified flying ship #UFS #dantes vibe corner #my fic

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rubin-therubix-loverofblorbos · 1 month

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CARMEN SANDIEGO INCORRECT QUOTES

Shadowsan: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Carmen's birthday invitations. Ivy: Well, what are they supposed to say? Shadowsan: "Carmen's birthday". Ivy: So, what do they say instead? Shadowsan: "Carmen’s bi". Ivy: Ivy: Works out either way.

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Player: I’ve never asked someone out. How do you even do it? Ivy: Oh, what I do is, I look them up and down and I say: “Hey… how you doin’?” Carmen, scoffing: Oh, please. Ivy, to Carmen: Hey, how you doin’? Carmen: Carmen: giggles and blushes

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Zack: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen. Player: That’s a snake.

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Ivy: I love them both, but how do I propose to two people? Shadowsan: Two different restaurants, one person at each restaurant. Twice the dessert, twice the applause. Ivy: Won’t people think it’s weird if there is a third person just sitting there, though? Shadowsan: I saw someone feed their pet peacock crème brûlée from their mouth at the French place on the corner last week: I think faux third-wheeling at an engagement is the least of your worries.

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Vlad: To be honest, I'm kinda pissed that I'm not asleep in bed next to the love of my life in a cottage with no obligations other than watering my vegetable garden.

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{I really need someone to clarify whether they're brothers or two deadpan Russians that Just Look Like That. Because they give such Gay Stone-Faced Lovers but idk. hm. [Looks at the To Steal Or Not To Steal Dip™️*] oh okay}

Boris: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night? Vlad: It was autocorrect. Boris: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."? Vlad: Yes.

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Boris: I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Vlad: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Boris, getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

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Boris: We should be partners. Vlad: You mean like, partners in crime? Boris: Yeah… that’s precisely what I meant.

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Dr. Bellum: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right? Cleo: Nope, there's 26. Dr. Bellum: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T. Cleo: Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one. Dr. Bellum: You'll get the D later ;).

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Cleo: The stars are so beautiful… Dr. Bellum: They're just giant balls of gas. Cleo: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Dr. Bellum: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Cleo: Oh…

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Chase: I just wanted to say that over the years, I have come to regard you as… people I met.

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Chase: What’s up? I’m back. Zack: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Chase: Death is a social construct.

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The squad's reaction to being told they're the chosen one Chase: I will not let you down. Ivy: Sounds fun. Zack: K. Julia: No, I'm fucking not. Carmen: Do I have to be? Shadowsan: Please god, I am so tired.

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Shadowsan: Wanna hear some dark humor. Ivy: Yeah, I love dark humor. Shadowsan: Alright. Shadowsan: Turns off the lights Shadowsan: Knock knock. Ivy: Turn the damn lights back on.

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Zack, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Zack: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Ivy: It was you the fuck. Zack: It was I the fuck… Shadowsan: Who cooks rice in a pan? Ivy: They the fuck.

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Carmen: trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark Carmen: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?" Associate: Well, I- Carmen: How about "You witnessed the murder of my actual dad?" Associate: No…Wait, wha- Carmen: You know what, I'll just get a blank one. Carmen: writes You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card.

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Shadowsan: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed. Chase: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Shadowsan!

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Ivy: Its hard to resist, I'm really sorry- I mean, considering your approach so far, you had us tied here for- what? Hours? And you haven’t even had us confirm what exactly we are! Chase: What are you then? Ivy: I'm a Virgo!

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Zack: I once tried to play a pirated copy of Garfield Kart, when Garfield jumped out of my PC! We are currently married with three beautiful children and a summer house in Lisbon.

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*The Dip from To Steal or Not to Steal {no seriously they slayed. Those little gay boys served every bit of cunt within the timespan of three and a half seconds}

ALSO, The Entire Video, which is fucking amazing. Masterpiece.

#rubin report #carmen sandiego #ivy carmen sandiego #zack carmen sandiego #shadowsan #vile faculty #dr bellum #countess cleo #professor maelstrom #chase devineaux #julia argent #the cleaners

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kawaiikenna · 2 years

Text

My take on @minnesota-fats ‘s post about Danny being Maddie and Bruce’s kid. Here’s the link to the post if you desire.

So I see Danny being super smart, possibly graduating way early in his teens or at least pretty damn close to graduating when his accident happens. And even though Danny is ridiculously smart he’s still the goofy kid we all know and love. He’s also just a lot smarter about his ‘hero identity’. His grades do end up dropping after the accident but not nearly as drastically as they do in cannon. More like his straight A’s turn into B’s the occasional C which is quickly brought up. I also see him with many more detective skills just cause why not. And his mom trained him and Jazz from a young age. It was mostly used for self defense but came in real handy when Danny started fighting ghosts on the daily.

Anyways; being this super smart kiddo in a family of geniuses he helps run the family business. He ends up dealing with all the numbers and financials and the inventory as well as fulfilling orders and such. He would honestly rather study and talk about astrology and the cosmos but he is plenty knowledgeable about ghosts and ecto-biology due to his parents. And being how he is, Danny has a lot more knowledge of the social structure and mythologies of the Zone. He’s probably the one that put together the classification chart that they use when a new kind of ghost appears/is discovered. He and Jazz help organize all of their parents notes so that they’re understandable and not just mad man rantings.

I also like the aspect of the Fenton parents being more scientifically centered and unbiased towards their work. Like they’re still the crazies of the town but not overly so. Their papers and research are fairly sound. Their inventions do work properly and only explode every once in a while. Idk if they know about Phantom but if they did they would be far more considerate and understanding. Like they would code his ecto-signature into all of the security systems so that he would stop getting shot at every time he came home. This would also fix the random inventions activating and targeting him thing.

I think he knows basically his whole life that Jack isn’t his bio dad but that doesn’t really have an effect on him. His parents decided early on that if Danny ever asked why he looked a little different or something along those lines they would tell him the truth. They don’t tell him names until he’s older just because safer concerns. But if anything, it strengthens their relationship because Jack chooses Danny. He chooses to view the boy as his own son and act accordingly. So Danny never really had the motivation to find/figure out who his bio dad was because he had an amazing dad already. Vlad ruins this and Danny tries not to think about how his bio dad is richer than Vlad and has several adopted kids, one of which is his half brother.

So imagine the whole family has been invited to do TED talks on their respective topics. Jack and Maddie talk about the biology aspect, Jazz about the psychology, and Danny about social structures. Now the kicker is that this event is being hosted in Gotham and sponsored by Wayne Tech. Everything is going well, Danny just finished his presentation and the Fenton’s were all heading somewhere (the hotel, to sit in on other presentations, to go get food, whatever suits your fancy) and they bump into Bruce and one or more of his kiddos. The adults talk and Danny is just in the corner sweating because hOLY SHIT THAT’S HIS BIO DAD. HE WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS.

Or Jazz and Danny run into a couple of the bat kids. They get along like houses on fire. Danny being the incredibly chaotic gremlin he is while also being ridiculously smart and knowledgeable about seemingly random things and Jazz just being like, ‘daww, my baby bro is making friends.’ And at some point Bruce comes looking for his kiddos only to find that they’ve multiplied somehow. Danny tries to be super subtle but ends up tipping off all of the bats and birds when he scrambles to leave with his sister as soon as he sees the man walking towards them. They look into Danny and the only off thing they can find is that his father isn’t listed on his birth certificate.

Meanwhile, in his hurry; Danny ended up rushing himself and Jazz back to the hotel or even just out of the conference center and into the streets. Not the wisest decision because in record time the two get snatched up by kidnappers. They’re convinced that Danny is one of the Wayne kids, which I mean isn’t entirely wrong, and they end up calling the Wayne estate just as Jack or Maddie is trying to get ahold of their kids. There’s a whole mix up but the Fentons get to their kids first before the bats or police and the whole family just kicks ass. Once everyone has been ‘rescued’ and taken to safety, Bruce comes into the picture. Jack and Maddie greet him warmly and they get talking. Somehow it slips that they had been at that conference all those years ago and dots are connected. Maddie vehemently states that she didn’t want to bother Bruce with Danny because she was afraid of him seeing it as an opportunity for her to extort money from him.

Their conversation goes something like;

“We knew that there was a high possibility that Danny wasn’t Jack’s kid so the only other possibility for that timeframe would be the drunk one night stand I had with you. But just to make sure we had Danny paternity tested shortly after he was born. All it did was solidify that he was definitely not Jack’s. There is a very slim chance that he may not even be yours but we didn’t want to intrude on your life.” Maddie explains, Jack is standing next to her with a soft smile pulling at his lips. “I had heard about the rumors about other women trying to do that exact thing to get to your fortune. I decided I didn’t want to do that.”

“I have never treated Danny as anything other than my own son. So you don’t have to worry about that.” Jack adds as he winds an arm around his wife. “If anything I think I’m pretty attached to Dan-o!”

“But if you would like to get tested to make absolutely certain that Danny is yours we won’t object. If you’d rather not be in his life we also won’t take it badly. But if you’d like to talk to him first we can set something up for tomorrow.” There’s an indecipherable glimmer in the woman’s eyes. Nothing bad, mostly caution and curiosity.

Bruce was blown away at the openness and acceptance that these two showed. He glances over at the raven haired teen that was currently being doted on by an older red headed girl. He could see the resemblance in the boy. It showed in the color of his eyes and the curve of his jaw.

“If you would, I would like that. We could possibly even have our families get together later. I know your two children have met a few of my adoptive children. They seemed to have got along quite well.”

Maddie nods and the small group of adults then start to plan their get together for the following day.

Danny formally meeting his bio-dad’s side of the family is great. They go on a tour of the estate and somehow end up in one of the gyms. This then gets a show off contest started and they’re now sparing with each other. It starts off with Danny challenging Damian and Danny being able to keep up with his little brother. Then it turns into a who-can-beat-Danny contest. The answer is no one. Not a single one of them comes remotely close to winning. Jazz almost beats him but gets taken down at the last minute.

Do they know about Phantom? Eh, they just think that he’s a meta and call it good.

That’s all I’ve got but I’d love to hear y’all’s thoughts on this. -w-

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decarbry · 1 year

Text

hey,, what’s up friends, I bring you... a literal summary of the Yabureme story up until around war arc events. obviously this is spoilery so if you don’t want to know what happens until the relevant comic pages come out don’t expand the post! this is just for people who don’t mind spoilers. also keep in mind that this is a summary so I kind of just. word-vomited. it’s... weird? short and sweet but not in some places. a literal mess. I put 0 effort into writing good and some sections are more wordy than others because I've thought them through for longer and have them more solidified. also things are subject to CHANGE between this and the actual comic pages so read with a grain of salt. the major events are probably gonna remain the same though. things might get inserted or removed. idk. also it’s LONG I’m so sorry. enj... oy ?? ?

Aizawa has been taken. Midnight and Nezu attempt to comfort Mic; there are no leads, but the faculty have already started working schedules out to help search, which reassures him. Though he is desperate to join the search, Nezu refuses to give his blessings until he knows Mic won’t act rashly. Mic hosts the Sports Fest in an attempt to ground himself and find unity with the students.

Hidden away, Garaki has begun his work on Aizawa. The injuries are bad; though Garaki is an accomplished and varied medical professional, he can’t do what Recovery Girl can, so Aizawa is merely stabilized and the bio-engineering in later dev stages will be relied on to do the heavy lifting. Aizawa suffers 2 days and nights of infusions (one for each new quirk) and barely powers through an intense fever on the last night. The capsule is the final and longest stage to allow the quirks to take hold and the body to heal. All for One is a regular voice in the background during the entire process, though those visits stop after an incident in the capsule in which Erasure activated for a solid ten seconds and strikes everyone in the room before going inert again.

Time passes with no news. Mic is becoming frustrated and less willing to listen to reason. Classes 1-A and 1-B attend their summer camp with Vlad and various other heroes that have substituted since Aizawa’s absence. Bakugou is kidnapped by the League in an attempt to recruit. Though the topic is raised, Shigaraki refuses to do more than tease Bakugou about his missing teacher, as well as use him as a bargaining chip. We still have yet to see him since his abduction. The mission to rescue Bakugou begins.

All Might engages in combat with AFO at Kamino. His weakened form is exposed to the world and he musters up his strength for the last strike. Instead, OFA fails, and all heroes present immediately know why. Edge Shot rushes to interrupt Erasure while Endeavor attempts to reach All Might. Neither get there in time and All Might takes a blow straight through his chest. Endeavor takes over the fight against a wounded AFO and Edge Shot engages in battle with Yabureme. Edge Shot is killed and Endeavor manages to subdue AFO.

Hours after the battle ends, Kurogiri searches for Yabureme, who has not reappeared as he was meant to. He finds Yabureme badly injured and hiding after his fight with Edge Shot and warps him back to where the League has taken up to recover. Shigaraki only knew that AFO had plans for Aizawa, not that Yabureme was to be a gift for him, but Kurogiri informs him of this. Shigaraki is unimpressed considering Yabureme’s wounds after only a single fight, but he’s going through some stuff, so he has license to be a bratty child for a night. Once Kurogiri hears from Garaki, he takes Yabureme to be patched up. Later he’s returned to the League, who as a whole are unsure about what to do next now that AFO is captured.

While everyone else is appalled to hear rumors that the supposed-missing Eraser Head was present at Kamino and had a hand in assisting the villains, Mic suddenly has a new fire lit under him. He breaks away from UA and strikes out on his own, against the pleas of friends such as Midnight. He manages to track the League’s movements after much work and finally sees Yabureme for the first time… but is unable to reach or speak to him as his quirk is erased during their escape.

Class 1-A witnessed Mic depart and, with the help of other pros, manage to convince Mic to let them help in catching Yabureme. He is very resistant to putting them in danger but relents with the alliance of Midnight and Gran Torino. During a previous sighting it was noted that Yabureme’s movements slowed and stiffened the more eyes were open on his body, so a plan is hatched to surround Yabureme with as many enemy quirks as possible in order to stun him.

Yabureme is located. He’s alone, which is odd, but not wanting to miss their chance, the operation is launched. Surrounded by what he believes are hostile enemies, Yabureme opens enough eyes to erase the quirks of every student, stunning himself. A short battle ensues; Kaminari is injured but proves instrumental in the discovery of a weakness in the Nomu: that an electrical current will force all of his eyes to close and subsequentially interrupt Erasure. Mic, Gran Torino, Midnight, and Class 1-A succeed in capturing Yabureme.

Too much of a threat for any normal prison containment, Yabureme is taken to Tartarus. They learn: about the nature of his engineering, that exhaustion has nearly killed him, that unlike every other Nomu contained so far he is not a corpse, and that three quirk factors were combined to create Yabureme. Erasure and Dupli-arms (or related) are confirmed, but the third is still being investigated. Because the third quirk is still unknown, containment is at a risk and a shock collar is placed to help mitigate any attempts at escape. The students are brought in to speak to him after everyone else, including Mic and Midnight, fail to get any response out of Yabureme. Unfortunately, the students are also unable to get through to him. Their failed efforts leave them dejected. Yabureme doesn’t speak a word the entire time he is inside Tartarus.

After a few days, the third quirk is activated by an unknown trigger. Yabureme and AFO escape Tartarus with the help of Kurogiri— the timing of the pieces prove that this was orchestrated from the beginning.

In the wake of the escape, Mic is told in secrecy that Yabureme has not removed the shock collar, probably because of its failsafes. It’s been tracked, and his location is known— a new operation is underway to recapture him. Mic rushes to get there first, finding Yabureme in solitude at an abandoned building, having split ways from the League temporarily to avoid getting them tracked while he tries to find a way to remove the collar himself. Mic and Yabureme have a tender moment, or so Mic thinks… but Yabureme slyly uses Mic’s obvious obsession with him to get the hero to take the collar off. Mic falls for it and Yabureme flees.

Though it seemed to be just manipulation, this kind interaction has left the first shred of uncertainty in Yabureme. He returns to the League and resumes his role in protecting Shigaraki and the others. A long period ensues where the League and the heroes play cat and mouse, Mic returning to society in order to accept help from friends and family rather than trying to go it alone as he had before.

Day after day, Yabureme’s doubts deepen as small things burrow into his mind: things like a song on the radio, a familiar black cat, names that he’s heard before. He can’t shake the face of the hero that spoke to him gently and had something warm in his eyes. He meets Eri, but seems to be merely a moment of warmth in her life before departing. Time passes.

The League grows frustrated with Mic, considering his constant interference as troublesome and annoying. Dabi sets a trap for Mic and attempts to kill him. Without any understanding of why, Yabureme takes the worst of the trap himself. He drags an unconscious Mic away from the inferno before collapsing with horrific burns across the right side of his body. Mic wakes in time to feel Yabureme’s heart stop, and in his anguish accidentally causes it to start again with the impact of Voice against the Nomu’s chest.

Mic manages to smuggle Yabureme to a hiding spot, containing him with the only thing available: simple metal handcuffs. Recovery Girl answers his call to the secluded site warily, unhappy that she is asked to keep such a dangerous secret. She stabilizes Yabureme and begins healing some of the burns, but considering his physical deterioration and exhaustion, can’t do much in one sitting.

When the Nomu wakes, Mic and Yabureme have their first real conversation, speaking mostly about the latter and how he’s feeling, what he’s thinking, and why Dabi, his supposed ally, would harm him so badly. He also points out that Yabureme could get out of the cuffs easily, and yet, for some reason, hasn’t.

On the second day, Recovery Girl returns, but so does a second guest: All Might. He is partially wheelchair-bound, the apparent repercussions of the wounds he took at Kamino. He expresses his unhappiness with this situation: Yabureme needs to be properly contained, not hooked to a chainlink fence with fragile metal handcuffs. Mic wants his blessing but plans to keep Yabureme here at least for a short while, highlighting the fact that he’s behaving more openly now than he ever did while in Tartarus. They notice Yabureme watching them and All Might speaks to the Nomu alone. He and Recovery Girl have agreed to give Mic a few days with Yabureme until his burns have been treated, but that he will be returned to Tartarus after that— and now that the third quirk is known, escape will not be possible a second time. He shares some belief that Mic is right that there is hope for Yabureme and that if anyone deserved a path back to normal, it was Shouta Aizawa. He urges the Nomu to try his hardest to remember anything he can.

In the ensuing days, Mic spends time conversing with Yabureme. Unlike the catatonic state he was in while at Tartarus, Yabureme is nervously conversational, answering questions and asking them on his own. He admits his confusion and doubts to Mic, and Mic learns that the whole reason Yabureme was unresponsive while at Tartarus was because of the lights and the intense head pain they cause, utterly decimating his senses and thoughts. He wasn’t shutting down because of his programming or a need to be disobedient— he simply could not function in those conditions.

The morning of the intake comes. Tsukauchi and numerous officers arrive to take Yabureme into custody. Mic attempts to keep everything smooth, warning Yabureme about their arrival and making sure that there aren’t too many men appearing at once. Yabureme nearly panics anyway at the sight of firearms, but is calmed when Mic holds his hands and gives encouragement. Yabureme is taken into custody without a struggle, though he shuts down when he’s led away from Mic.

Mic apologizes to Tsukauchi for hiding Yabureme, but is forgiven considering the relative ease of the capture. The detective promises to keep Mic with Yabureme as much as possible this time around, since his presence clearly helps. He also acknowledges Mic’s request for accommodating Yabureme’s aversion to the bright lights of the prison, especially with the confidence that it might help with getting information out of the Nomu. Yabureme’s shutdown reverses some when Mic reappears in the police transport to travel with him to Tartarus.

Yabureme and Mic arrive at Tartarus and the Nomu is immediately assaulted by the lights. He’s given relief in the form of a sedative. His wounds are checked over while he’s out: it’s discovered that his right eye took far too much damage from Dabi’s flames and must be removed before the dead material causes an infection, shock, or worse. The majority of the burn scars will be permanent because of the lack of proper immediate care in a supplied burn ward. Aside from a handful of new scars and wear and tear, nothing else is noted.

Yabureme startles awake, finding himself in a Tartarus cell with Mic at his bedside. The lights are dimmed rather than blindingly bright. Mic gives him the rundown of what happened, and proudly tells him that the hardest part, getting to the start line of his recovery, was over. He is questioned for the first time the day after waking, and though he is much more responsive to interrogation compared to his last stint in Tartarus, Yabureme still shies away from answering questions that would cause the League a disadvantage… though he is clearly conflicted.

So begins Yabureme’s long road back to someone he didn’t know he used to be. Mic becomes the only foothold of stability Yabureme has, finding that his physical reassurances such as hugs and hand-holding are intensely grounding. The second time he is questioned, he holds Mic’s encouragement in his mind, and manages to talk shortly about some of the Leagues’ hideouts.

He still has doubts about all of this Shouta Aizawa stuff, but Mic works him through stories of his past gently and at a slow pace. The first bit of information that helps Yabureme see that the possibility exists of a connection between himself and this other person is a story Mic tells about Aizawa feeding cats on the street; Yabureme shyly, but excitedly, admits that he does that a lot too. After this, things begin to come more swiftly. Mic brings him his wedding ring, and Yabureme asks to hold Mic’s as well, and remembers the sensation of them clicking against one another in his hand.

With Mic’s help, and the help of a therapist that meets with him daily, more and more begins to come back. Even memories he reclaims are left blurry and dull, but once the flood gate opens, it doesn’t close, and Yabureme’s progress quickens the harder he works. When his memories begin to focus on Class 1-A, he asks to see them. Plenty is still missing, but he apologizes for the things he did to them, focusing on Kaminari and the wounds inflicted during his first capture. He wants to work for their forgiveness, but doesn’t expect it. Midoriya mentions that he seems a lot more like his old self, which fills Yabureme with a hidden relief and encouragement.

Time passes. Yabureme continues to work hard at getting back to himself, and the image of Shouta Aizawa gets more clear by the day. His old mannerisms begin returning in small amounts: rolling his eyes at stupid things Mic says, muttering about things that annoy him. When he gets a surprise visitor, both Mic and Yabureme are surprised to find Kaminari requesting advice for a hitch in his hero training. As Yabureme converses with Kaminari in an observation room, Mic and Tsukauchi watch, and both are amazed to see the clearest image of Aizawa they’ve seen since before his abduction. Mic takes the opportunity to ask about a road that leads outside of Tartarus and, though Tsukauchi doesn’t shut it down, he admits there are many concerns— specifically regarding hidden triggers that might still exist inside Yabureme’s mind. An idea is floated: bring someone in with a voice-copying quirk, and see what happens when Yabureme is faced with orders from Shigaraki or All for One.

Yabureme (Aizawa? Yabuzawa by this point?) agrees to the experiment, though he is clearly discomforted by the idea, unsure of how he mind be effected. The experiment begins. Yabuzawa is secured heavily just in case, but he is clearly determined, if nervous. The voice-copying quirk speaks in Shigaraki’s voice first, ordering him to turn his head to one side. Yabuzawa doesn’t seem to have a problem disobeying, but when the speaker doubles down and becomes hostile about his refusing to obey an order, Yabuzawa spirals and has a panic attack. All for One’s voice cuts in with an order that is obeyed immediately, and Mic is only able to snap him out of it with a slap to the face. The results are clear: Shigaraki’s orders can be ignored with enough work, but AFO’s orders seem unquestionable. Yabuzawa is frustrated by his own perceived failure in the experiment, understandably upset that despite all of the progress he’s made, they still hold some power over him.

Time passes. Yabuzawa improves with his response to Shigaraki’s voice, though still shaken after being faced with it, can do so without panicking. AFO’s orders seem unbreakable. Mic once again breaks the topic of getting him out of Tartarus, and after some debate, it’s agreed that the UA students and the hero efforts (and Yabuzawa himself) would benefit more with Aizawa back in the world. By this time the unknown of the League and AFO and the PLA have long been poisoning society’s trust in heroes; Erasure can’t be hidden away in a bunker with tensions growing by the day.

Mic is permitted to confine him to their apartment under police guard for increasingly longer periods of time, regular check-ins and evaluations, and lots of rules. Yabuzawa isn’t permitted to be alone with anyone aside from Mic, and when outside of the building must cover his neck, arms, and hands. Finally, the shock collar is back as a last resort. If you read this whole thing you’re a certified #1 Yabureme fan sorry I don’t make the rules

#boku no hero academia #my hero academia #Yabureme Spoilers #Yabureme Aizawa AU #text post #I mostly just wanted to put this out there so people who wanted to dig further into the au could do so #and maybe widen your questions a bit if you felt like it #since there's a LOT more here we haven't touched at all hehe #but a lot of this I want to do in comic form. like the actual comic form I did the first chapter in #but some of it especially filling in the holes would be great for little side content comics #also I just want to put it out there that the canon timeline doesn't work with this au #so I'm making the executive decision to stretch it out a lot more #instead of the war starting at the end of the first school year #it starts way after that #ok? ok #it was already a pain in the ass trying to figure out the nomu dev timeline to fit with what I wanted to do in Kamino #I hate timeline shit HAHA #heck tbh I don't even know if there is still a war arc anymore #AFO has erasure now and it fucks everything up #anyways just pretend that that stuff doesn't matter right now #I'll get to it eventually #just focus on the erasermic. erasermic. erasermic. xoxoxo

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thethirdromana · 6 months

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I was gonna ask you some stuff about Quincey and the aftermath of the Civil War, but that wasn't really near the 1890s so idk if it's relevant.

Also similar to Mina maybe supporting eugenics I would imagine Seward probably engages in a lot of pseudosciences

But more interestingly, what do you think Dracula's politics would be? He's pretty removed from human society by being a vampire and his home in Transylvania is pretty remote, but he was still a nobleman there and he was moving to England, which he planned to conquer. I'm curious where he'd fall, when pretending to be and working with (?) humans in Romanian politics (if you feel like researching it) and English politics. Another cool layer to this is if you subscribe to the popular theory that he's really Vlad the Impaler. What would a warlord from the mid-1400s think of the politics 400 or so years later? That's barely even thinking about him being a vampire.

Also, what would Renfield's politics be like?

Quincey and the aftermath of the Civil War is a fascinating question that I will definitely leave for someone who knows more US history than I do.

Dracula, on the other hand... first of all, the relevant set of politics is Hungarian, not Romanian. Transylvania was part of Austria-Hungary in the 1890s. There's actually an interesting story here, in that vampire myth was originally associated primarily with Hungary. Then Bram Stoker set Dracula in Transylvania, which became part of Romania in 1920, and Romania ended up inheriting vampire myths in the process. Which has generally done the Romanian tourist industry no harm at all. (Though when I was in Bucharest last weekend, my lovely tour guide, Andrea, was clearly a bit annoyed by people asking about it).

Anyway, we have a decent sense of what Dracula's politics are, because he spells them out on May 8: he's proud to be part of a fighting, conquering race, he values "warlike days", he disdains peasants, and he generally holds that might makes right.

Given his pride in "beating the Turk on his own ground", I think we can assume that he didn't approve of Austria-Hungary's neutrality in the Russo-Turkish War in 1877-8.

In some ways he fits into contemporary society. He is a boyar, one of the highest rank of feudal nobility, who retained a great deal of power in 1890s Austria-Hungary. Where in the UK the growth of industry made the middle classes wealthier, in Austria-Hungary that wealth often went straight back to the nobility. Just six percent of the population had the right to vote in general elections, compared with 18% in the UK (meanwhile New Zealand had universal suffrage from 1893).

But Dracula is still a product of an earlier time. He wants to increase his power through conquest, not through modernising his estate or being appointed to the board of directors of a bank. And while Austria-Hungary did grow through conquest (occupying Bosnia and Herzegovina in 1878, for instance), it wasn't at nearly the same scale as other contemporary empires - for example, Austria-Hungary didn't take part in the Scramble for Africa.

Honestly, it makes perfect sense that Dracula would want to come to Britain. If he wanted conquest, carried out with indifference to cruelty, he would have got on extremely well with Cecil Rhodes. To an extent this is what the story of Dracula is about: what if foreigners came to Britain and did to us what we do to them? The War of the Worlds, published at the same time, asks essentially the same question but with aliens.

(This is the bit where someone comes along and says yes, but don't forget that Bram Stoker was Irish. Which is true, but he was also a supporter of the British Empire.)

As for Renfield, most of what we learn about his politics comes from October 1. He's from high society and is a member of the Windham Club. He celebrates the roles Quincey, Van Helsing and Arthur play "by nationality, by heredity, or by the possession of natural gifts" - in other words, he seems to be open to people advancing themselves through meritocracy, but also through hereditary rights. To me, this reads as conservative, but not reactionary.

One thing that does strike me is that his point about Texas - celebrating its admittance to the Union - relates to history that was 50 years old at that point (Unless I'm misunderstanding the reference?). Renfield is 59 during the events of Dracula. Is the implication here that he's stuck in the past? We don't know how long he's been institutionalised, but since his memories of Arthur's father relate to youthful drinking games, it could be 30 years or more. He may be disconnected from contemporary politics - and given how much the world changed in the late 19th century, that could make for quite a shock if he'd ever had the chance to learn more.

As ever, I'm not a historian, and other people should feel free to offer corrections.

#dracula daily

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