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the-rewatch-rewind · 1 year

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New episode! Script below the break

Hello and welcome back to the Rewatch Rewind! My name is Jane, and this is the podcast where I count down my top 40 most-watched movies in 20 years. Today I will be talking about #38: MGM’s 2001 comedy Legally Blonde, directed by Robert Luketic, written by Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith based on a novel by Amanda Brown, and starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, and Selma Blair.

Legally Blonde is the story of Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon), who thinks her boyfriend Warner (Matthew Davis) is about to propose, but instead he dumps her because he thinks she’s too frivolous for him. So to prove him wrong, Elle gets into Harvard Law School, which is where Warner is headed, but when she arrives she finds that he has already gotten engaged to another law student, Vivian (Selma Blair), who fits into the law school scene much better than Elle does, at least at first. After many setbacks, Elle starts to realize that she’s actually more interested in becoming a lawyer than winning back her boyfriend.

I still vividly remember the first time I was made aware of this movie. I happened to walk into the room where my mom was watching it, and she was at the scene in the restaurant when Elle thinks Warner is about to propose, and I thought it looked like the worst movie ever, and I immediately left in disgust. At some point around then I also saw part of the trial scene as an example of how courtrooms are portrayed on screen, but I don’t think I put together that they were from the same movie. Once I actually gave Legally Blonde a chance and sat down and watched the whole thing, I absolutely loved it. The first time I watched it was in 2006, and I saw it five times in that year alone, and then three times in 2007. After that I calmed down a bit, and watched it once each in 2008, 2010, 2011, 2014, 2016, 2018, and 2020. So I’ve seen it 15 times, and over half of those were just in 2006 and 2007. I think it’s appropriate that my first impression of Legally Blonde turned out to be so inaccurate because that’s basically the theme of this movie: so many people misjudge and underestimate Elle, and she proves them all wrong in an extremely satisfying way, just as the movie turned out to be far more intriguing and powerful than it appeared from that one out of context scene. This was a good and important lesson for me to learn as a teenager, and I really do feel like this movie helped me become a less judgmental person overall.

Given my emphasis in the previous episodes on how much I love that Mary Poppins and Emperor’s New Groove don’t have romantic storylines, it may seem strange to immediately pivot to a romantic comedy, but Legally Blonde is no ordinary rom com – in fact, I’m not convinced it even is a rom com. Though the story begins romantically, with Elle focused on marrying Warner, as it progresses the romantic aspect becomes less and less important. Watching Elle realize that she doesn’t have to just be the trophy wife of a successful man, which was the only future she’d been able to see for herself before, is beautiful. And while there are some romantic elements to the rest of the story, the movie places just as much, if not more, emphasis on friendship than romance, something I personally would love to see more of.

From the very beginning, even when Elle thinks she’s getting engaged, we see her surrounded by her sorority sisters. And after the breakup, those same friends help her work on getting into law school. They don’t really understand her struggles once she’s there, but two of them do show up to her first trial, which I love both because they’re very funny and because it shows that you don’t have to fully understand a friend to support them. The first close relationship Elle forms after moving to Harvard is a friendship with manicurist Paulette, played by the fabulous Jennifer Coolidge. Granted, a significant part of their friendship involves dating advice, which I don’t love – I think my least favorite part of the movie is the whole “bend and snap” scene, it just never made sense to me – but there’s a lot more to it than that. Elle helps Paulette get her dog back from her ex, and Paulette helps Elle gain confidence in her new role as a law student. This relationship helps Elle through the toughest part of law school when all the other students disdain her, although eventually she befriends some of them. It’s awesome to watch Vivian and Elle go from rivals to friends as they both realize that Warner isn’t good enough for either of them. Elle also befriends David Kidney (Oz Perkins) – again initially by helping him get a date, but their friendship soon progresses beyond that. Also fun fact that I just relatively recently learned – Oz Perkins is the son of Anthony Perkins, as in, the Anthony Perkins who played Norman Bates in Psycho.

And speaking of movie stars from the 1960s, Raquel Welch makes an appearance in Legally Blonde, as Mrs. Windham Vandermark, the first wife of the murder victim in the trial that is the main focus of the second half of the movie. One of Elle’s professors, Callahan (played by Victor Garber), is defending the victim’s second wife, who is accused of the murder, and Elle is one of the interns helping with the case. The team sends Elle to interview the first wife when they find out she’s at a spa because they assume she and Elle will get along, but they very much do not, which is another example of characters misjudging and misunderstanding her. Elle does, however, get along very well with the defendant, Brooke Taylor Windham (Ali Larter), who was in the same sorority as Elle, though not at the same time. Most of the legal team seems to think Brooke is probably guilty, but Elle knows she’s not, using the flawless logic that since Brooke is a prominent fitness instructor, and therefore exercises a lot, as I quoted at the end of last episode, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don’t shoot their husbands. They just don’t.” The rest of the team doesn’t exactly buy this, but Elle’s belief in her leads Brooke to trust Elle more than she trusts anyone else, and that, in addition to Elle remaining true to herself despite being encouraged not to, is what allows them to win the case.

So far I’ve neglected to mention Emmett (Luke Wilson), the lawyer who supports and believes in Elle, and apparently starts dating her after the trial. I personally don’t love that they end up together, I feel like it kind of undermines the message that she doesn’t need romance to be fulfilled, although it is pretty clear that this relationship is just icing on the cake rather than her whole reason for being, in contrast to her relationship with Warner. Elle and Emmett do have some cute scenes together, but we don’t really see them interact in a way that indicates they’re anything other than friends. The movie never really feels like it’s about their romance, which makes sense because originally they weren’t even meant to officially end up together.

The film was going to end with Elle walking out of the courtroom after winning the case. The scene of her dumping Warner plus the whole epilogue with her graduation speech and the words on screen explaining what happened to everyone were added because test audiences thought the story felt unfinished. While it is extremely satisfying to watch her telling off Warner and to know for sure that she excelled in her remaining two years of law school, it’s a little frustrating to know that in the original version I would have been able to cling to my headcanon that Elle and Emmett were friends. From a storytelling perspective, I appreciate the symmetry of beginning with Elle thinking she’s about to get engaged and ending with her actually about to get engaged, but from an aroace perspective, I’m irritated that marriage has to be part of the happy ending even in this otherwise romance-light film. I’m happy for Elle that she found someone who loves her for who she is, but I don’t like the implication that every close, supportive relationship between a man and a woman must necessarily be romantic and sexual. It also bothers me that the ending tells us that Warner has no girlfriend as if singleness is the worst possible fate, although that may be an unfair interpretation. We’ve seen that he doesn’t really treat women as people, so it’s probably good that he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and it also says that he graduated with no honors and no job offers in addition to no girlfriend, so it’s not like singleness is his only punishment. I just don’t like how often singleness is treated as the just deserts of the villain, as if being single is inherently miserable. But the ending doesn’t say anything about Vivian having a new boyfriend, just that she dumped Warner and is now friends with Elle, so it’s not quite as straightforward as the heroes get romance and the villains are single, which I appreciate.

Even with this ending, Legally Blonde is very clearly a movie about identity and friendship and integrity that also includes some romance, not a romantic film. So it’s very interesting to me that it is often categorized as a romantic comedy. It’s almost like the fact that it’s pink and has a female protagonist and was written by women leads people to assume it must be a “chick flick”, and obviously all chick flicks are rom coms because all women want is a fluffy story about a woman falling in love with a man, right? I want to make it clear that I’m not disparaging rom coms or the people who enjoy them; what I’m criticizing here is the all-too-common practice of shoving rom coms along with any other movie marketed toward women into the same inferior category. The funny thing is, by seeing these movies this way, people are making the exact same mistake Warner makes at the beginning of Legally Blonde (and admittedly the same one I made before I’d watched the whole thing) of equating femininity – or at least, a certain type of femininity – with frivolity. But just as Warner turned out to be the loser when he dumped Elle, people who dismiss this movie are missing out. It is delightful and powerful, and Reese Witherspoon’s performance in particular is fabulous. Her comedic timing and sensibilities are flawless. And the feeling of watching her in the courtroom after Elle takes over the case, start off floundering and unsure of herself, and then seeing that lightbulb go off when she figures it out, is so elating. A big part of what makes that moment so satisfying is how realistically and sympathetically Elle has been portrayed throughout the movie. It would have been easy to make a character like this too over-the-top and ridiculous, but the writing and acting keep her grounded and real while also portraying her as quirky and unique, and the movie is worth watching for that alone.

However, I must say that certain aspects of Legally Blonde have not aged particularly well. For example, it bothers me more and more that, with Brooke’s alibi that she doesn’t want to reveal, they get so close to addressing the harm of placing impossible body standards on women, but don’t quite go there, portraying Emmett as unreasonable for pointing out that she made her fortune by telling women that they’re too fat. The movie also has a few gay characters, but the representation leaves much to be desired, as one might expect from a film made in the early 2000s. They’re basically reduced to stereotypes, and the public outing of a gay man against his will, based on his knowledge of shoe designers, is played for laughs – although, while outing someone is horrible, I would argue that lying about sleeping with someone to get them wrongfully convicted of murder is worse, so…it’s complicated. But, like forcing the happily ever after to include romance after emphasizing that romance is not the most important thing, the movie again undermines its own message here. It’s odd that it puts gay people into stereotypical boxes when the whole story is about how people are so much more than the way society sees them. As a queer teen who didn’t know I was queer, just that I was somehow different from most of my peers, it was incredibly satisfying to watch Elle learn that she didn’t have to fit into a pre-existing mold and could just be herself. But in some ways now it kind of feels to me like it’s saying, “Be yourself and don’t care what other people think of you – as long as you end up in a heterosexual relationship” and I don’t love that. So that’s probably part of why I don’t watch it as much anymore. But I don’t mean to imply that these problems completely ruin the movie; it still has a lot of great moments, and I would still recommend it. I should also mention that I’ve never read the book this movie is based on or watched the sequel, and I’ve also never seen or listened to the musical adaptation, so it’s possible that some of these issues might be at least somewhat rectified in one or more of those versions.

Overall, despite its flaws, this is a movie that encourages people to embrace the parts of their identity and personality that others dismiss, and that was a message I desperately needed to hear as a teenager. There are certainly other movies that portray this even better, but Legally Blonde happens to be one that I latched onto, probably at least partly because I had such low expectations and was then pleasantly surprised.

Thank you for listening to me discuss another of my most-rewatched movies! Remember to rate and leave a review if you want, and subscribe or follow to hear more. Next up is another movie I watched 15 times while keeping track that is only two minutes longer than this one, although unlike Legally Blonde I had seen it multiple times before 2003. As always I will leave you with a quote from that next movie: “Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

#rewatch rewind #legally blonde #spoiler alert

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minimoefoe · 2 years

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Thirteen Era Rewatch: The Woman Who Fell to Earth

I'm re-watching Thirteen's era in lead up to the Centenary and since this is likely going to be my last full re-watch for a while I thought I'd do a post on each ep where I just go over all the things I love, hate or just have some general thoughts on. I've tried to keep this organised but it's a bit ramble-y.

I don’t fully understand Graham’s desperation for Ryan to call him Grandad. He married Grace when Ryan was like 16. I can’t imagine many 16yos are going to call their Nan’s new husband Grandad. I don’t think it’s the end of the world bc I love Ryan and Graham’s relationship and watching them grow through the series and I think Ryan changing to calling him Grandad is a good way to represent their growth but it is a little odd imo

Love 13 and Yaz’s interactions on the train, the Doctor basically convincing Yaz to not call it in, and of course it doesn’t take much. Could be showing that Yaz is already intrigued by the Doctor this early into knowing her or it could be showing how Yaz is young/naïve bc she’s letting this random train woman take control, basically showing the Doctor companion power imbalance, Yaz is obviously out of her depth with this.

I love Ryan’s vibe. Sometimes he’s quiet, sometimes he’s moody, he’s low-key kinda funny. I’m a big fan. The moments are small but they work for me.

The back and forth between Graham and Ryan in this ep is so good. I think the scene where Graham mentions Ryan blaming his dyspraxia for starting the invasion is maybe a bit much? But idk, Ryan has been making comments for like half the ep at this point, and probably for the last three years, so maybe Graham is allowed to say something twatty back every once in a while.

The scene where they find the dead body is a bit odd because we don’t see anything, we just get them taking turns describing what they see. I get why, they’re obviously not gonna show the stuff they’re describing in a family show, but I wish they’d showed us something.

Thirteen is true chef’s kiss when it comes to confrontations. I love how she says ‘Get behind me now’ and I love that it’s a theme that runs through the era. It’s giving not wanting Bill 2.0 to happen because she wasn’t in the way to stop it.

Love that while Thirteen clearly wants to keep the fam safe and seems to like them, she isn’t massively attached to them. There are multiple times where she basically tells them to shut up because there’s important shit she needs to get on with.

I find it very interesting, and depressing, that Grace is the only one in the episode to explicitly say that she loves what’s happening and then she is the one who dies.

It isn’t my fave thing in the world that the way Tim Shaw was defeated was because 13 did a bunch of things offscreen that we didn’t see and that weren’t mentioned at all prior to that point. They show the red thing that helps Tim get home during the sonic making scene but that’s it from what I noticed. It's not a big deal for me because I think the main thing about this ep is that we get to know all these new ppl and not that the resolution to the plot is 10/10 but it is something I noticed.

I love the start of this ep with Ryan’s video and how we think he’s talking about the Doctor but it ends up being about Grace but tbh Ryan doesn’t give me a YouTuber vibe. It feels like they did it in this ep bc it was cool and they didn’t think about it much outside of that

I would really like more concrete information on what happened between Grace's death and her funeral tbh. I find the fact the Doctor stayed, especially this Doctor who goes on to be known to not want to let people get too close, very interesting. In my mind she spent the time before the funeral living at that place where she made the thing to get her to the TaRDIS, maybe with the fam dipping in to see her, bc imo that would explain the fact she still hadn't got changed, and then she decided to stay for the funeral and leave as soon as it was over

I love Ryan and the Doctor's chat at the funeral about Ryan's dad. She is literally his surrogate dad I stg

Graham's funeral speech is so Thasmin coded it's disgusting. Only having a short amount of time with her, she showed him a better way to live?? Also this shot while Graham is saying that? Earlier Yaz was complaining she wanted more and now she is about to get more !!

I think the fam are well fleshed out in this ep? Especially Ryan and Graham. Idk I’m not that good at like, analysing shit but just from this one ep I feel like we know them decently.

Graham - Wants a relationship with Ryan, had cancer, was a bus driver, loves making one liners

Yaz - Wants more from her job, can be authoritative

Ryan - has dyspraxia, isn’t a fan of Graham, bad relationship with dad, works in a warehouse, doing his NVQ, YouTube

Yaz is defo the one we have the least concrete info about at this point but even then I think the main thing we do know about her, the fact she wants more from her job, is kinda an important thing so meh

#doctor who #thirteenth doctor #13th doctor #yasmin khan #ryan sinclair #graham o'brien #grace o'brien #nataliechats #dw meta #idk if this counts as ameta but whatever #also idk how in depth each ep post is gonna be #its very possible therell be some eps where i dont really have anything to say but we'll see i guess

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thomas-jefferson-miku-binder · 2 years

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the boys season one review

favorite characters: frenchie, hughie, kimiko, mm, madelyn, homelander, starlight and queen maeve (not on that order, but the top ones are very probably the first three)

the world-building in this shit is fucking insane holy fuck. it’s exactly what i would imagine would happen is superheroes were real. also the references to marvel are hilarious

characters i don’t like: the deep obviously and also not a super fan of butcher, don’t know, he just didn’t get to me, don’t find his storyline very compelling either

honestly was very surprised with stilwell's death, was not expecting it

boyfriend told me they call kimiko the female in the future and i took psyche damage

love the acting and the costume design (like fr) and the soundtrack and the acting as well as the special effects

HOMELANDER: his character is so intriguing. i love to hate him and at the same time i’m so fucking scared of him it’s almost palpable. he decays between victim and culprit and i find that the way it is portrayed it’s fucking magnificent

HUGHIE: i didn’t expect to like hughie as much as i do. he’s genuinely a very compelling character and feels very real despite all the insane shit that happens to and around him. my friend complained about how his motivation is a bit cliche like oh dead girlfriend oh no but i really don’t mind and found that it hits right in a sweet spot. it’s not only about robin, it’s about escaping the monotony that surrounding him and being something more. very very cool character

FRENCHIE: at the beginning i was like oh ok fine i guess but he grew a lot on me. his personality, his whole gimmick, his genuine care for kimiko… i still think s lot about the scene where he describes the first person he killed, the women in the elevator. amazing acting and a very well-written character

KIMIKO: i would literally die for her. such an interesting character and concept. she reminds me a lot of katana and cassandra cain (and my call of cthulhu character, maybe that’s why i’m biased). HONESTLY SO MANY PROPS TO KAREN FUKUHARA. the way she conveys emotion without having a single line the whole season is so impressive. the way she’s slowly healing is very very heartwarming too

MOTHER'S MILK: IT FEELS SO NICE TO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENT CHARACTER HOLY FUCK. i appreciate him a lot and feel like he adds so much to the boys dynamic. it’s so satisfying to have someone who’s actually in touch with his feelings be such an important character and that participates s actively of the storyline. i love him a lot and how his actor portrays him too. also love his dynamic with frenchie

QUEEN MAEVE: honestly the plane scene is one of my favorites from the whole season. love her actress too. not much to say about the character but she has a lot of potential and i’m already very attached to her.

STARLIGHT: i have a love-indifferent relationship with starlight. there’re times where i think man that’s a great character and others where i couldn’t care less about her. right now i’m in the love phase tho. despite this mood swing, i really love her plotlines, they’re all very compelling. (and i love her powers too very cool stuff)

MADELYN STILLWELL: YES YES SHES A BITCH SHES AN OLD SINGLE MOTHER SHES A PSYCHO SHES EVERYTHINF IVE ASKED FOR AND MORE. really shocked with her death man i was really not expecting that. great great awesome character

to conclude i love how the series drops little pieces of lore throughout the show. how maeve is a recovering alcoholic, how the only reason the guys at the chinese restaurant didn’t kill kimiko was because they couldn’t… that kind of stuff. very cool

#the boys #the boys season 1

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professor-tammi · 2 years

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okay here are some Three Hopes thoughts!! spoilers for first 4 chapters of the Lions route, and also some (more minor) Eagles spoilers

- I went into the game expecting to hate Shez (not a big fan of the design) but. they’re not only an actual character, but also quite charming? very positively surprised here :D! I also really enjoy the English VA for both m/f Shez (went with male Shez and female Byleth for my Lions run; will prob do female Shez when I play Eagles)

- having Byleth take on a Lu Bu-esque rival role is an interesting idea, and letting them Actually Speak and be a character is already helping undo some of my Byleth hatred. (only some though. it is still mostly there!!)

- Arval is cute! I like them (? what is gender ?? gender not real) much more than Sothis, which surprises me a bit because I feel like they’re objectively very similar characters. maybe it’s just that Arval’s banter with Shez works out much better than Sothis’ attempted banter with Byleth a wall

- so Arval is obviously somehow Slither-related, but judging from how both Rhea’s and Shez’s eyes glow in a distinctly similar way when they transform, I’m gonna venture a guess and say that Arval is also somehow a dragon. just maybe, like, a different dragon tribe or clan to Sothis’. I dunno.

- I didn’t expect Monica surviving and joining the Eagles this time around to be of much interest to me but. apparently she is very gay for Edelgard and honestly? the one thing Edelgard as a character has always lacked was a cute co-dependent gf. please Koei let Monica be this. I would very much like to have yet another problematic ship! thank you!!

- the Lions plot truly wastes no time getting started -- one moment you’re defeating bandits and the next you’re... executing Rufus and Cornelia!? but I’m not complaining! the political intrigue is fun. I only hope the game still manages to capture the darker sides to Dimitri’s character (which I’m quite positive it will, given they’re foreshadowing it in much the same way 3H did originally, it’ll just happen later on)

- the part at the beginning of Chapter 4 where Faerghus is discussing whether they should aid the Church and risk war with the Empire or not and Felix just interjects with “ok we have two choices. either we aid the church or we submit to imperial rule” was also, excellent. maybe it’s also partly due to the current goings-on in the world and the shockingly poor takes I’ve seen people have about those, but it’s just nice to see Felix instantly lay it out as “yeah you know the Empire is not going to just leave us alone even if we agree to their terms”

- also the Dimilix content in this game already too good and this is just the demo?? yes their meal conversation definitely stands out the most but also little things like Felix’s C support with Shez (which, yes, is about his relationships with the entire childhood friend quartet, but still), and how it’s House Fraldarius that’s immediately singled out in Rufus’ ploy as being closest to Dimitri (”in what cruel world would our noble house take the reins of a boar like you?” ok felix!!), how Felix is at the forefront during Rufus’ execution scene (which... there’s a lot to say about, in general), and how the trailers are hinting at more development of their relationship and!! im just. so excited. (please let me read their B / A supports not knowing is killing me)

- (perhaps it is more accurate to say that the game has a lot of Felix content. and for once I support koei’s character favoritism)

- oh and speaking of Shez supports, Edel-critical people will probably appreciate Edelgard’s C support with Shez, which features Shez calling out her hypocrisy in a very frank way. good content.

- on supports more broadly, only the support levels with little speech bubbles lead to conversations, and it’s been interesting to see the decisions Koei made in regards to who gets how many conversations with who here. I’ve already seen some anger about Felix and Annette only going up to B and only getting one conversation, though in all honesty, I’m not very surprised as I always found their original supports just cute but shallow -- there’s not a ton for the writers to focus on there.

- (otoh I am very much looking forward to whatever the Felix/Dedue support contains, because there’s a 3H relationship that could do with more development!)

- also curious to see which characters will end up joining which houses. Lions are definitely getting Catherine and Gilbert in addition to Rodrigue. Eagles should be getting Hanneman in addition to Manuela and Jeritza (and Monica, also). Deer get Shamir, and presumably also Judith and Cyril (and possibly Holst or something). as for the Wolves, if they’re not exclusive to some secret fourth route, I imagine Constance goes to the Eagles, Balthus to the Deer, and Hapi and Yuri to the Lions. where do the dragons figure in, though? Seteth, Flayn and Rhea would all make the most sense with the Lions, I guess, since they ally with the Church... though that seems like an unusually large cast of playables for them!

- another thing that interests me is the identity of Shez’s mysterious mother, who was apparently a noble living in Leicester... ... the first silly twist I thought of is “what if it’s Patricia, who escaped after the tragedy”, but I’m pretty sure I have zero good reasons to think this? I don’t even know if it works timeline-wise so I’m just documenting it in case I end up, miraculously, being right, for no reason (I just think the idea of her being the mom of 3/4 main characters is cute)

- also I wasn’t tumblering when the new designs where revealed initially but: ponytail felix. ponytail felix. ponytail felix. (Koei you are still not forgiven for taking away Ran, my original high ponytail hyperfixation, but, thank you, for this Felix)

- have to quickly shoutout Annette’s new design though she is SO cute :’) I think the only new Lion design I don’t really like is Sylvain’s. my condolences Sylvain fans. (Ingrid’s bangs are cute sorry!!) (also Dimitri with the tiny ponytail? thank you. my skin is clear my crops are watered)

- for non-Lions: love Edelgard’s design!! it’s almost like. I really like ponytails in character designs. Marianne also looks lovely! annnd I think Caspar’s Three Hopes design is what his post-timeskip design should have been, honestly

- general gameplay thoughts: this is very much a traditional musou, very reminiscent of SW, and I appreciate that bc I miss SW... also I felt AoC had too much of a combat focus to the detriment of the more tactical decision-making that I like having in my musous

- also having permadeath in a musou game is very interesting?? it’ll only come into play in the full release since the game says it’s after Chapter 4 only, but still, intrigued at how this will affect how difficult the game feels :D

#text post #text: fodlan #text: fe #few3h

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kamreadsandrecs · 1 year

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Title: Paradise-1 (Red Space #1) Author: David Wellington Genre/s: science fiction, horror Content/Trigger Warning/s: blood, gore, violence, cannibalism, emotional and mental manipulation, sexual assault, emotional and physical abuse of a child, depictions of extreme PTSD and depression Summary (from publisher’s website): Paradise-1. Earth’s first deep space colony. For thousands of people, it was an opportunity for a new life. Until it went dark. No communication has been received from the colony for months. And it falls to Firewatch inspector Alexandra Petrova and the crew of the Artemis to investigate. What they find is more horrifying than anything they could have imagined. Buy Here (publisher’s website): https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/david-wellington/paradise-1/9780316496742/ Spoiler-Free Review: So I picked this up because I needed some more horror after finally wrapping up my reread (and read, in the case of The Lure of the Moonflower!) of the Pink Carnation series. I was in the mood for a little more horror after practically devouring Catriona Ward’s Sundial. And since I’m always game for some cosmic horror, Paradise-1 seemed right up my alley. And in a way, it was! The overall concept was intriguing, and I was pulled into the whole thing by the first handful of chapters. I really wanted to know what was going to happen to the characters as they left the Solar System and headed for Paradise-1, and when the first disaster struck, I was ready to see how things would devolve and how the (surely) horrific mysteries teased at the beginning of the story would be revealed. But that didn’t turn out to be the case. Fun as the concept is, the potential horror lost a LOT of its power when the story began to go on, and on, and ON. Put simply: this was way, WAY longer than it needed to be. In fact, there are twenty to thirty chapters - whole chunks of narrative - in this novel that could absolutely be taken out and it wouldn’t affect the narrative at all - in fact, it would be a significant improvement. Take it down to something in the vicinity of 300-350 pages, instead of the 600+ it currently has, and it might read much better. Trim out all the fat, as it were. As for the horror, I can SEE where it would be scary, but instead there’s a lot of parts where it feels like the author’s presenting a kind of set piece to play out in front of the reader, in the hopes that it’ll scare them. Which honestly, just doesn’t work for me: I’m someone who can watch a slasher movie while eating and not be put off my meal. I need something more insidious than blood, gore, and guts to really get to me - and the sad thing is? This novel HAS THE POTENTIAL FOR THAT. It was just stretched out for far longer than it needed to be, and many of the scenes that SHOULD have felt scary felt more like they were there for nothing more than shock value - which honestly becomes really old, pretty fast (especially when the same scenario is presented THREE TIMES, just in slightly different flavors). The above also affects the characters. Initially they feel likable enough, but it gets kind of hard to keep on liking them when bad things keep happening to them and they keep on walking into them. I’m especially disappointed with the way Zhang was characterized, as there was plenty of potential there to explore the effects of PTSD when one is thrust into a scenario that reopens all those old traumas, but given how long the story dragged and how often he walked into the Same Scenario in Three Different Flavors thing, it’s easy to lose sympathy for him. The only one I think I actually liked was Rapscallion, but I can easily imagine him being an even more interesting character if the aforementioned flaws weren’t there. You know what really gets me about this though? As long as it already is, as bloated as it already feels, IT ACTUALLY HAS A SEQUEL. Which I’m slightly intrigued by because I want to know what happens next, but if it’s another overlong monstrosity like this one? I might have to pass. Rating: two AI cores

#book review #book reviews #horror #science fiction #scifi #cosmic horror #sff #paradise-1 #red space series #david wellington #books

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the-bau-quinjet · 3 years

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One Misunderstanding

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You struggle to fix Bucky's first impression of you. Bucky struggles with his own feelings.

Warnings: angst, Hydra things- like brainwashing and torture, a few curse words, panic attacks, anxiety

Word count: 5609

a/n: this idea came to me very suddenly, but I'm in love with it. Hopefully whatever I just wrote does it justice.

Masterlist

"Everyone, meet Y/N. She's the newest member of our little group, bringing in a whole new level of hacking and tech skills. Y/N, meet the team." Tony introduced you to everyone, eager to share your skills.

You turned to the group, getting ready to introduce yourself further, but instead tripped. You shrieked as you fell down the small set of stairs you were at the top of.

Sam, being the closest, caught you. "Good thing you've got tech skills." He chuckled as you righted yourself, firmly planting your feet on the ground.

"Haha, yeah. I'm not a big fan of violence." You winced as you said it, wishing you could take it back. You didn't want to get into the reasons as to why you don't like violence.

To your surprise, nobody asked why. You would have guessed they would have questions, but maybe they weren't interested in your past. They all had their own issues to deal with afterall.

"Eh, we don't need anymore people for fighting anyway. Welcome to the team." Steve greeted you warmly, as you would have expected from America's golden boy.

You gratefully shook his hand, glad to not have to talk about anything yet. Unfortunately, you tripped again when you tried to move back, falling into the one and only Bucky Barnes.

His hands steadied you, dryly laughing at your clumsiness. "You really are clumsy."

You did you best to not show how embarrassed you were. You couldn't deny the claim. Unless you were fighting, something you vowed to yourself to never do again, you were clumsy.

Being abducted and tortured by Hydra may have made you a competent fighter, but your aptitude for tripping over nothing never left.

"Right, sorry!" You greeted everyone else quickly, eager to get situated in your room. "I'm just going to unpack everything." You waved as you backed out of the room, bumping into the wall as you left.

You had just finished putting away your stuff when you heard a knock on your door.

"Come in!" You figured someone would have questions for you.

Unsurprisingly, Natasha was the one to step into your room. Of everyone there, you expected her to have learned about your past. It comes with the territory of being a spy.

"Hi, I was hoping to talk to you." Her tone was friendly, but clearly she was skeptical of you. Again, you weren't surprised.

"I thought you might. I'm assuming you read my file? Honestly, I thought everyone would." You laughed gently, shaking your head at yourself.

"I did. Your file is pretty bare bones though. I did some extra digging... Not everyone else is as nosy as me." She grinned, already pleased with your openness. "So, why'd you pretend to be clumsy?"

"Oh, it wasn't pretend. I've always been clumsy. When everything happened, and I learned how to fight, I thought my newfound agility would help. Turns out, it didn't. The only times I'm even the slightest bit coordinated are when I'm fighting or training, but I wasn't lying about that either. When I escaped, I promised myself I wouldn't hurt anyone else."

"Why join the Avengers at all then?" She looked curious, still unsure if she could trust you.

"I wanted to help people. I just didn't want to use the skills they gave me to do it. So, I learned how to code, figured I could help behind the scenes."

She smiled, letting down her guard. Clearly it would take some time, but you could easily see the two of you being close friends.

"So, nobody knows about what you went through?" She couldn't help but be curious about your past.

"Nope. I don't talk about it much, but it's not a secret. I'll answer anything you want to know." You smiled, eager to try and make a real friend here.

You spent the next few hours answering every question Natasha could think of. You told her about being abducted and experimented on.

That lead to even more questions, basically boiling down to the fact that you're not a super soldier, but you do have enhanced senses- and seemingly enhanced clumsiness for when you're not using them.

You told her about learning how to fight, and the punishments you would endure if you got it wrong. The two of you bonded over the shared experience.

Finally, you told her about how you escaped. When the Winter Soldier escaped, every Hydra effort possible was made to find him. That included you. Resources were spread thin, trying to cover more areas. It was the perfect opportunity for you to get out.

"Really, I owe my freedom to him. Even if he doesn't know anything about me." You felt the tears in your eyes, too many emotions swirling through you to keep it all in anymore. "Since then, I've learned everything I could about technology and coding, which pretty much brings you up to date."

Before she could ask anymore questions, there was another knock on your door. Quickly wiping the tears from your eyes, you called another "come in!"

Steve poked his head in the door, cautiously looking between you and Nat.

"I've been sent to stop the interrogation." He grinned, stepping farther into the room.

Nat rose from her spot on the bed, kissing him on the cheek while rolling her eyes. "It wasn't an interrogation. We were bonding."

"Yeah, over what?" He chuckled, trying to figure out what the two of you had in common.

Maybe it was the look in your eyes, or maybe Nat just likes knowing more than everyone, but she smiled conspiratorially at you before responding. "Girl stuff, babe. Just girl stuff."

You smiled as the couple left the room, grateful for not having to explain everything again.

Over the next few weeks, the team constantly teased you for your clumsiness. Well, not the whole team. Nat knew the truth, so she never said anything. Peter never teased you either, although that is likely due to the teasing he endures as well.

Weirdly enough, you bonded with the kid over it, eventually telling him about your past as well.

Normally you could shake it off. They clearly didn't mean anything by it. Except Bucky.

Whenever he said anything, he stared you down. His eyes felt like they were piercing your soul. You're not sure exactly why, but he didn't seem to like you much.

Which wouldn't be an issue if you didn't have an embarrassing crush on the man.

Really your infatuation started when you first escaped Hydra. His own escape lead to your freedom, so you admired him. When you found out he was working with the Avengers to help people, you admired him even more.

Watching him on missions is really what caused the infatuation to blossom into a full blown crush.

You, however, would adamantly deny that if anyone ever asked. Which is what just happened.

"What?!" You nearly tripped, again, with how quickly you turned to look at Wanda and Nat.

"You heard me." Nat stared at you, a neutral expression on her face. "When are you going to do something about your crush on Barnes."

"I, I don't- I don't have a crush on Bucky." You stuttered, a lackluster job at denying the truth.

"Please, Y/N. It's so obvious!" Wanda joined in.

The three of you hung out a lot around the compound. It was nice to have a support system to lean on when things got hard.

"Well, even if I did, which I'm not saying I do! He doesn't like me. I don't know what I did, but his eyes feel like daggers whenever we're in the same room." You started out strong, but quickly morphed into a sad resignation. It genuinely upset you that Bucky didn't like you.

"I think I might know what that's about..." Wanda bit her lip, immediately feeling guilty at having said anything.

"What!?" You eagerly turned to her, needing answers. You shuffled your way across the room, never fully rising from your seat on the ground.

"I don't know if I should tell you! I'm not even supposed to know, but sometimes his thoughts are really loud!" Her guilt multiplied.

"You have to tell me now! Then I can fix it!" You were practically begging at her feet from your position on the floor.

She looked at Nat, who just shrugged in return. "Not my place, although I would love to hear it."

"Ugh, fine. But you can't tell anyone I told you!" Wanda glared at the two of you, unable to say no to your pouting face. "The first day we all met you, do you remember what you said?"

Your face scrunched as you tried to remember. "I'm not a big fan of violence?"

She nodded, looking at you as if she just told you everything.

"So?" You asked incredulously, unable to follow her train of thought.

She rolled her eyes, having to spell it out for you. "He kind of took that personally..."

Immediately, you sunk completely to the floor. "Oh, god. Fuck! That's not what I meant at all! I just meant I don't personally like using violence! Shit, shit, shit." You continued to mutter to yourself as Nat and Wanda shared a look.

"Why don't you like using violence?" Wanda asked, intrigued by your reaction.

You thought back to your conversation with Nat the first day you got here. You told her it wasn't a secret, it just wasn't something you brought up.

"Can you just look in my head? I don't really wanna explain it, but I want you to know." You asked, glad to share you past with another friend.

Wanda nodded, seemingly doing nothing until realization dawned on her.

"Oh shit." She whispered, not even realizing she said it out loud.

"Yeah." You huffed out a dry laugh.

"Y/N... I'm so sorry." You smiled at her, having worked through most of the trauma already. "You totally have a crush on Barnes though."

That earned a real laugh. "Hey, that's not what you were in there for!"

"It's not my fault! You were thinking it really loudly!"

The three of you laughed together until you sunk back into a pit of despair.

"What do I do? How do I fix this?" You whined, laying back on the ground like a child.

"I think you just need to talk to him. Explain what you meant." Wanda shrugged, unsure of any other advice to offer you.

"She's right. Just talk to him." Nat nodded along as you whined on the floor.

After a few days, you finally worked up enough courage to try and talk to Bucky. He had just finished training, so you knew exactly where he'd be: in the kitchen.

Walking in, you were glad to see him pulling ingredients from the fridge.

"Hey Bucky, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?" You stuttered through the words, nervous about what he would say.

He barely looked at you, nodding his head for you to continue.

"I just, I wanted to apologize." You trailed off when his head snapped up.

"For what?" Well shit. How are you supposed to explain this one without ratting out Wanda.

"Oh, well, um... I just thought maybe I said- I did something that upset you. Uh, you just don't seem to like me very much, which is totally cool, you don't have to like me if you don't want to. I just didn't want it to be my fault... Fuck." That went horribly. Taking a deep breath, you started over. "I didn't mean it."

Bucky is looking at you like you have three heads. "Didn't mean what?"

"That I don't like violence."

"So you do... like violence." He'd somehow grown more confused.

"Well, no." You paused, unsure of how to explain yourself.

"Then you did mean it." His soul piercing stare is back.

"I-"

"It's fine, save it. Some people get to choose not to be violent." And with that, he left the kitchen, abandoning his post workout smoothie.

You stared at the doorway, in shock over how poorly that went. You stood there , unaware of the 25 minutes that had passed, trying to figure out how it could've gone better when Steve found you.

"Y/N? What are you doing?"

You didn't hear him, too lost in the memories. Memories of Hydra, forcing you to do things you never wanted to. This happened from time to time if something triggered you into remembering, otherwise you had a handle on your emotions.

"Y/N?" Steve said your name again, concern evident in his voice. He gently laid a hand on your shoulder, trying to get your attention.

Everything happened so fast after that. The feeling of someone's hand on your shoulder caused you to panic. With all the memories of Hydra in your head, your training kicked in instinctually.

You grabbed Steve's arm, pulling him closer to you for better leverage. Before he could question your moves, you flipped him, pinning him to the ground.

The second you made eye contact, you realized what just happened. Horror and regret flashed in your eyes.

In an effort to get off him, you threw yourself backward, knocking into a cart full of pots and pans. The clanging of metal hitting the ground echoed through the small room.

Steve sat up slowly, trying to register the turn of events. You sat in a ball on the floor, tears pooling in your eyes, mumbling apologies over and over again.

Sam, having heard the commotion from the pots and pans, ran into the kitchen ready to fight.

"What- What happened?" He asked in confusion, lowering his arms from their defensive position.

"I don't know." Steve looked at you, still trying to figure it out.

"Y/N?" Sam's voice was gentle, but it still startled you.

You jumped from the ground, rushing to help Steve get up. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. I never wanted to hurt anyone again." Your breathing was picking up, short bursts of air leaving your lungs. Your hands were shaking as you pulled him from the ground.

Your panic increased as you took in their concerned expressions.

"Hey, look at me." Steve's Captain voice, came out, urging you to make eye contact. You followed orders, breathing rapidly, your whole body shaking.

"I'm going to touch you now, is that okay?" His words were gentle, but commanding, causing you to nod in response.

He pulled you into a tight hug, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

You wanted to explain, to tell them what happened, but all that came out was a pitiful "Bucky".

"Do you want me to get Bucky?" Sam asked, trying to understand you.

The idea of Bucky coming back caused your panic to increase. You shook your head rapidly, "No! No no no no no." You kept repeating the word, shaking in Steve's arms.

"Okay! Okay, no Bucky." Sam reassured you, voice calm and soothing.

You’re not sure how long you stood like that. Sam moved around the kitchen, cleaning up the pots and pans you had knocked over.

When your breathing steadied, Steve asked, "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

You nodded, leading the two men to the couch in the adjacent common area. You sat for a minute, unsure of where to start.

"Why don't you just lead us through it all?" Steve suggested, still rubbing your back.

You nodded, grateful for the starting point. "I went to the kitchen to apologize to Bucky."

"What for?" Sam interrupted, already confused.

"Sam! Just let her talk." Steve muttered, slightly annoyed.

"Sorry!" He glared back at Steve before turning to you, "Sorry, please continue."

You couldn't help but laugh at their banter.

"Right, I wanted to apologize for what I said the first day I met you all. I realized how it sounded, so I wanted to try and fix it." You paused, waiting for the recognition to hit them.

It didn't take long. The two men nodded, silently urging you to continue.

"Honestly, Wanda told me that was why he always seems mad at me. You have to know, I never meant for it to come across that way! It's more of a personal, 'I don't want to be violent' than shunning others for doing what's necessary." You took a deep breath, not eager to relive the conversation.

"Anyway, I told him I didn't mean it. I just couldn't explain it right, and he got upset, which makes sense!" You turned to look between them, not wanting them to think you were insulting Bucky in any way. "I don't hold what he did against him. It wasn't his choice, and I completely understand that. I just couldn't put that into words when I was talking to him, and I made everything worse."

Tears popped into your eyes again, upset at what he must be going through. You weren't with Hydra for but a tenth of the time he was, and you didn't endure the same level of brainwashing.

"He said something about some people not being able to choose not to be violent, and then he left. I don't know how long I was standing in the kitchen replaying the conversation, but it brought up bad memories for me." You sighed again, working up the nerve to tell them everything.

"Wanda and Nat already know, but I guess it's your guys's turn. This was so much easier to just have Wanda read my mind." You laughed at your own joke, the two men sharing a concerned look.

"I was taken... by Hydra. They experimented on me, gave me enhanced senses, trained me to fight, and punished me when I did something wrong." Again, tears sprung into your eyes, occasionally falling down your cheeks.

"Why wasn't this in your file?" Steve questioned, more to himself than you.

"I haven't got a clue. I guess nobody knew about me? But, I escaped. They didn't brainwash me like they did Bucky, because I don't have the serum. Or, at least, I think that's why." You shook your head, refocusing on the important parts.

"When every available Hydra agent was tasked with searching for the Winter Soldier, I took it as on opportunity. Their resources were spread thin. I was able to getaway."

You went onto explain your reasoning for joining the Avengers as a tech specialist, trying to convey the same earnestness you did with Nat.

"You can ask Nat or Wanda too. Nat found out day one, Wanda a few days ago." You wiped your tears, hoping they believed you. "Actually, Peter knows too."

"I was stuck in all those memories when you came into the kitchen. I didn't even register that you were in the room, so when you touched me I freaked out. I never meant to hurt you!"

You looked at Steve fearful that he would be upset.

"Y/N, I believe you." You cried tears of relief at his statement, genuinely exhausted from the day. "It's not your fault, and you didn't hurt me. Just caught me off guard. You're surprisingly agile when you want to be." He tried to lighten the mood, glad to hear you laugh.

"Well, I train in the middle of the night sometimes. I- I want to be able to get out if I'm ever forced back there." Your voice was quiet, admitting a secret you hadn't even told Nat.

"We won't let that happen." The sternness of Sam's voice surprised you.

"Thank you." You wiped your tears a final time, looking between the two men. "Now, what do I do about Bucky?" You refocused your energy on fixing your relationship with the super soldier.

"He never would have said what he said if he had known." Steve started the conversation, defending his friend.

"I know. I don't hold it against him, I just wish I could explain. I get so nervous when he looks at me like that." You rambled, too tired to filter your thoughts.

"Like what?" Sam asked, eager for more information to tease Bucky with.

"Huh? Oh, I don't know. Like he can see into my soul." You deadpanned, earning a laugh from both men. "I just want him to like me." You nearly whined, upset by your poor relationship.

"Like you, huh?" Steve grinned. Nat and Wanda chose that exact moment to walk into the room, eagerly joining the conversation.

"Barnes? Did you tell him how you feel?" Wanda squealed with excitement.

You buried your head in your hands, avoiding the knowing looks the four of them were surely sharing. "Not exactly." You gestured to your head, hoping Wanda would figure it out and share with Nat.

"Ooh... It didn't go well, basically Barnes got upset, Y/N flipped Steve and had a panic attack, then told these two everything." Wanda explained to Nat quickly, trying not to make you relive it.

"We need a plan." Nat declared.

"No, I just need to learn how to have a conversation with the man." You rolled your eyes at yourself. "I'll try talking to him again." You went to leave the room, turning around to glare at them. "And none of you can say a word of this to Bucky."

Despite you request, Steve still tried to talk to Bucky.

"What's up with you?" Steve questioned, trying to subtly pry into Bucky's thoughts.

"Nothing. Why?" Bucky answered in a questioning tone, trying to figure out Steve's motives.

"I heard you talked to Y/N is all. How'd it go?" He gave up on the subtle approach pretty quickly, knowing Bucky wouldn't answer a question that wasn't asked.

"How did you even hear that, punk?" Bucky deflected.

"Not the point. Answer the question."

"Not great. I messed it up." Bucky sighed, annoyed at himself for barging out of the room. "She said wanted to apologize, that she didn't mean what she said." He ran his hands through his hair, struggling to explain where it all went wrong.

"Would've been fine if I could follow what she was saying. She was rambling about me not liking her, which you and I both know isn't true. Ugh, i've never been mad at her. I'm mad at myself! At Hydra for making me a monster! How could she ever like me if she doesn't like violence? My entire past is violent." He huffed, having worked himself up again.

"You're not a monster, Buck." Steve started gently.

"I know you think that." Steve gave him a pointed glare. "I know, okay? But what does she think?"

"Maybe you should try talking to her. You might be surprised by what you learn." Steve clapped him on the shoulder, trying to reassure him, before leaving the room.

Everytime you tried to talk to Bucky, something got in the way. The first time, he was called in for an emergency mission before you even got the word hello out.

The second time, Tony walked into the common area, completely oblivious to the tension, and put on a movie.

The third time, Steve and Nat interrupted you. You were just about to apologize again after an awkward greeting when the elevator doors opened. The sounds of the cheerful laughter and stolen kisses didn't really set the mood for confessing your past with Hydra.

The fourth, and final time, was the most embarrassing.

You walked into the room on a mission. You were going to talk to him, no matter who decided to walk in.

"Bucky, I really need to-" and you tripped on a toy Morgan left out, causing you to tumble to the ground. That would have been embarrassing enough, but there's more.

In your effort to get up, you tripped again, hitting your head on the coffee table, causing you to bleed profusely.

"Shit." You cursed yourself, holding your hand up to your bleeding forehead.

"Are you okay?" Bucky rushed to you from the other side of the table, concerned with the amount of blood spewing from your head.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Unfortunately, you chose that moment to jokingly reference your past.

Some of the people who tortured you had a sick sense of humor. Whenever they would hit you hard enough to make you bleed, they said something about only having one head. A play on words because of the greek serpent with multiple heads.

"Head wounds bleed a lot, I'm lucky I only have one." You froze instantly, unsure if he would have had a similar experience. Slowly, you looked up in an effort to make eye contact.

Bucky was also frozen in place. Clearly he understood the reference.

"Wh- where did you hear that?" Bucky struggled with his sentence, trying not to flashback to his time at Hydra.

"Oh my god. I'm so so sorry." You instantly started apologizing, trying to backtrack. "I really need to learn when to stop fucking talking." You said more to yourself than him.

"Where did you hear it?" He asked again, putting more power behind his words.

"Um, well, i've been trying to tell you for weeks now, but um, I also kind of, have, um, well, you see-"

"Just spit it out." There was the slightly miffed Bucky you were used to.

"I was taken. By Hydra. 9 years ago. Um, they forced me to learn how to fight. Tortured me if I did anything wrong. Forced me to do things..." You trailed off, realizing you didn't need to give him many details. He has first hand experience.

"Y/N, I-" You cut him off before he could say anything else.

"That's why I don't like using violence. I only know how to do that stuff because they made me learn it. I didn't want to use the skills they gave me." You took a deep, grounding breath.

"I don't blame you for anything you were forced to do. It wasn't your choice. You're not a violent person, and your past actions don't define who you are. You're here to help people. That's what you chose. That's who you are."

You made eye contact before you continued. "I've actually wanted to thank you for the longest time."

"For what?" He was incredulous, wildly caught off guard by everything you've said.

"The only reason I had an opportunity to escape was because 2 years ago, you escaped. If Hydra's resources hadn't been spread so thin trying to find you, I probably would've never got out. So thank you. For being strong enough to fight back."

You smiled at him, still unsure of how he was feeling.

"I... I'm so sorry." To say you were stunned was an understatement. What the hell could he have to be sorry about? Sure he was a little rude, but from your point of view he was completely justified in hating you.

"Bucky, you have no reason to be sorry. You didn't know, and I couldn't get out of my head enough to tell you. You just make me nervous." You clapped a hand over your mouth, shocked at having said what you just said.

You could see his face fall ever so slightly, causing you to jump back into your explanation.

"Not because I'm scared of you or anything! Hell, I could probably take you in a fight." You winked, trying to lighten the mood. It seemed to work, judging by the slight smirk on his face.

"I just, I've looked up to you for so long. Your determination to do good after everything you've been through is really inspiring. It's actually why I wanted to join the Avengers in the first place. I never would have-" You would have kept rambling if he hadn't stopped you.

"Y/N, I am sorry, and I do have reason to be. There's no excuse for what I said to you in the kitchen that day. Even if I didn't know, I threw everything you've been through back in your face. If someone had done that to me, I probably would have had a panic attack." He tried joking, but by the way you froze he could tell he struck a nerve.

"You had a panic attack? I'm so sorry! God, I just left you all alone and-"

It was your turn to cut him off. "Actually, I was kind of frozen in place until Steve touched me and I maybe threw him to the ground... Then I had a panic attack..." You smiled, trying to convey the joke. "So, I wasn't alone. Sam was actually also there. If anything, it made me better friends with both of them because I told them everything. So I have you to thank for that to." You playfully nudged his side.

He ran his hands through his hair, then down his face, clearly trying to deal with his own guilt.

"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it. You didn't know. It happened. We're good now, so we can move on." You smiled, trying to cheer him up.

"How are you so relaxed about all of this? You were tortured for years... I..." He was genuinely curious, trying to find a way to cope with his own pain.

"Well, even before that I always thought therapy could be helpful for me, so I really jumped in full force when I was free. Plus, if you can't joke about something, you haven't really moved on. Some days are harder than others, but I just try to appreciate the people I have now and the good experiences I've been lead to." You kept the tone light, trying not to get too emotional.

He just stared at you for a few minutes, making you questions everything.

"I mean, it's totally different for you though! I was only there for 7 years, you were forced into all that for like 10 times as long. I didn't mean to belittle-"

"I think you inspire me just as much as you say I've inspired you." He cut you off again, a small smile growing on your lips.

"Well, in the spirit of our newfound friendship, can I be totally honest?" You bit your lip, nervous about telling him the truth.

He looked nervous as well, but nodded anyway.

"I kind of, maybe, sort of have a crush on you." You watched his expression carefully, although there was really no need. His face easily gave away his surprise.

"You..." He stuttered, moving his fingers between the two of you. "Me? But, I was so mean!"

"What can I say, I saw through the facade... Well, really Wanda accidentally read your mind and told me why you were so upset around me when her and Nat teamed up to get me to tell you how I feel." You rambled again, realization dawning that you accidentally outed Wanda.

"But you can't tell her I told you that! She didn't mean to! She just said you think really loud sometimes and it's hard not to hear it! She did it to me too actually, I mean I told her she could look in my head so I wouldn't have to explain everything again, I know so lazy, and that's how she confirmed my crush on you." You said it all with wide eyes at a rapid speed, unable to control yourself around Bucky.

You slapped your hands over your mouth, forcing yourself to stop talking. Bucky looked on in amusement, slowly reaching to pull your hands away from your face.

"I won't tell her, if you get dinner with me tonight." He smiled cheekily, relishing in your blush.

"That's a deal I'm willing to make." You reached your arms around his neck, kissing his cheek before running to get ready.

***

Bonus:

Sam whined playfully as he looked at the high scores. "Whose username is 'God is a spoon' and how did they get so good at this game?"

He looked around the room, eying any suspicious candidates. Everyone denied it, throwing out accusations left and right.

It was another of Tony's team bonding nights and he chose VR games on the oculus. Obviously, Beat Saber was a top contender amongst the group.

You walked in with Bucky, unaware of the conversation going on, but immediately joining it.

"Peter! I bet it was him!" You playfully nudged the younger Avenger, having formed a close friendship in the early days. "What am I betting on?" Everyone laughed, happy to see you in a good mood after being so stressed for so long.

"Whose username is 'God is a spoon'." Sam chuckled after filling you in. You and Bucky settled on the couch, cuddling next to each other.

"Oh, that's me. Why?" You looked around curiously, trying to figure out what they wanted. "Is it a weird username? It was actually one of the catchphrase things in Just Dance on the switch, I didn't just think of it." You tried to justify yourself, causing more laughter.

"You?! How did you get all the highscores on this game? I thought you were the clumsy one."

You made an exaggerated face to show how offended you were, playfully swatting at Sam.

"I'll have you know, 7 years of Hydra 'training' and experimentation has its perks." You joked with the room. "One of them being I can beat your ass at pretty much any video game."

"Oh, you're so on." Sam smiled, glad he could joke around with you about it.

Meanwhile, Tony looked incredulously around the room, being the only one in the room who hadn't heard about your history, he was rightfully confused.

"I'm sorry, 7 years of WHAT?"

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #natasha romanoff #captain america #tony stark #peter parker #sam wilson #bucky barnes #marvel fic #tw: panic attack #steve rogers x natasha romanoff

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snow-in-the-desert · 3 years

Text

Dramione Recommendations

Ok so, 2020 has been A LOT but on a personal note one of the most surprising things to happen was me discovering Dramione fanfiction and becoming unashamedly obsessed with it. I really didn’t see that coming but I’m here now and I’m here to stay.

I think I started reading in the Dramione fandom around mid July last year?? (In all honesty I’ve lost any true sense of time’s progression at this point so I could be well off the mark with that) And I’ve decided to compile a list of all my favourite fics I’ve read so far. Why? I really just want to gush over all the amazing writers I have found through this fandom because y’all deserve it.

Side note: If any of the authors actually sees this post just dm so I can buy you coffee or post you writing supplies or something idk I feel like that’s the least I can do for all your amazing work x

Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing

Ok I have to start with RN because this fic is pretty much the sole reason I decided to create an account with A03 or a tumblr or just decided to get involved with this fandom at all.

I headcannon this story hard. But I think even if you aren’t a fan of Dramione you should just read this because it is so unbelievably good and well written and poignant and Draco’s sarcastic personality in this is truly a thing of beauty in this - I relate to his inner monologue’s on a deep personal level.

I could rave about this story any time, any day of the week, just ask me. In fact, maybe I’ll just start a HeyJude19 fan club to fulfill that urge.

There are so many elements that I love but for the sake of brevity, RN is a beautifully told story of Draco and Hermione finding love and healing in a post-war HP setting. Heyjude19 had the very special ability of making me want to simulatenously laugh, cry and swoon with the power of her words. Just stop what you are doing and go read it now if you havent already, ok?

I also really enjoyed reading Bells on a Hill, Beers, Potions and Unwise Notions and A Shift in Focus, if you are looking for smaller fics, definitely give these a go. They are all funny and heartfelt stoires that will make your tippy toes wriggle with glee.

The Rights and Wrongs Series by @lovesbitca8

The Right Thing To Do, All The Wrong Things and The Auction are the holy trinity of Dramione writing. I have christened it thus, so mote it be. And frankly I’m not interested in any other opinion than that one, thank you very much!

After reading this series I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on the orginal HP books without thinking of Hermione’s and Draco’s memories of their time at Hogwarts in these fics as anything other than strictly cannon.

So many things to love about this series but I think one of the major highlights was Hermione and Draco’s use of occlumency. LoveBitca8 created such beautiful visuals with how occlumency works as a magical practice and seeing Draco and Hermione so devoted to eachother to the point of safeguarding their inner most feelings to protect eachother was unbelievably romantic and poetic.

Also the smut is divine ;)

Manacled by @senlinyu

My heart will never be the same after reading this story. Like I actually can’t think about this fic without getting a lump at the back of my throat. I have never felt so emotionally ruined after reading anything, compared to the likes of this fic. Just please, please read it. To badly quote HP, reading Manacled will make you suffer but you’re going to be happy about it.

The flashbacks are a rollercoaster in of themselves but the way Hermione inadvertently refers to them when she is still in a state of memory loss was so heartbreaking to read. My heart still aches for them both. Also its a truly satisfying to see Draco and Hermione written in a way were they are both so fiercly protective of one another. They make my insides go soft.

I also really enjoyed Snow Fall, Now Is A Gift and All You Want by the author but to be honest anything written by Senlinyu is always thoroughly enjoyable and worth a look.

The Erised Effect by @adaprix

Ada is QUEEN of dramione smut but ‘The Erised Effect’ is top tier. Its equal parts funny, romantic, sentimental and oh so sexy. Ada really knows how to build and build on sexual tension and doesn’t disappoint on the final delivery. I’m a big admirer of her writing style and just veraciously read whatever she posts but ‘The Erised Effect’ is just golden. A must read. (Also Pansy’s sexual fantasy in this story is a visual I don’t think I’ll ever be able to remove from my brain so thanks for that Ada)

Also quick side note: Adaprix’ stories were the first I read when I was looking into this fandom and it was enough to get me hooked on the pairing from the get go so I have that to thank Ada for too. I remember devouring all the stories she had posted to A03 and when I was done I was like... now what am I supposed to do with my life?? And that’s basically when I began to look deeper into the fandom and thus the course of my life in 2020 changed for the better.

Some other stories I love by her are Break for Me, All My Sins, The Big 4-0, The Fucklust Series and The Flat in Bath.

Clean by @olivieblake

This 6th Year AU where Draco and Hermione work together on a class assignment and end up falling in love had me feeling all kinds of ways when I read it. I almost don’t know where to start but I think one of the stand out things for me was how immersed I felt in reading it.

Hogwarts is captured really well, you get a good sense of class atmospheres, character nuances and behind the scenes of events that happen in HBP but from a Draco and Hermione’s perspectives. It’s well executed and intricate tapestry of a fic. With an excellent plot twist ending!

Also Hermione and Draco’s relationship in this is equal parts fluffy and smutty and it just ticks all the right boxes that you want to see for those characters ;)

Breath Mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm

The angst in this one is just *chef’s kiss*

God I love this fic. The way Draco is portrayed is very true to his defensive and tetchy character in the original books but he is also given so much more depth. The way his diary entries are written are just so well executed. It’s a true testament to the author’s creative writing skill. And I LOVE how even though Draco is clearly in such a messed up place, he still has a basic level of self respect and dignity that he won’t tolerate being used or undervalued in his relationship with Hermione.

Yep, I really love Draco’s characterisation in this one if you can’t tell. But Hermione is also well written too. Her stuggles and trauma of returning to Hogwarts after war is described in a believable and grounded way. And my heart definitely ached for them both. I just wanted to wrap the pair of them in a big fuzzy blanket and tell them that everything will be alright.

WANDS OUT! by @persephonestone

This murder mystery / Dramione / Theo x Harry / AU crossover is everything I didn’t know I wanted until I read it. I felt like I was picked up and plonked right into an alternative dimension where all the characters of HP are just living it up in an Agatha Christie novel.

It’s a funny and clever story that I found refreshing to read amongst all the other fanfics that are usually cemented in the HP timeline or universe. Theodore Nott in this fic is perfection he should be written like this in every fic from now on in my opinion. I couldn’t stop giggling any time he had a scene in the story.

And the ‘only one bed’ trope in this fic is 10/10. I don’t want to give spoilers but ohmygod. It hits all the right notes.

The One With Technical Difficulties by cassielassie

Cassielassie has an excellent three part series of Dramone called ‘The One with...” but I have to give special credit to this story in particular for one main reason. ELEVATOR TROPES. I can’t get enough of em. I think I have my early childhood viewings of NCIS to thank for my obsession with elevator tropes they just do something to me that simply cannot be explained with mere words. The palpable sexual tension of being in a broken down elevator with an ‘enemies to lovers’ pairing, a heated arguement breaks out followed by a discovery of mutual feelings and a romantic embrace...

Eugh. It gets me everytime. And this fic is no exception. I loved it for all the reasons I’ve already stated above but also for the attention to detail in Draco and Hermione’s careers makes this one particularly immersive. The dynamics between them established in this one-shot are convincingly portrayed and the chemistry between them is so undeniably hot.

The Light is No Mystery by @masterofinfinities

Yooo if you want to read a dramione fic that is a deep dive into Pureblood culture and Post-War recovery but is also a perfect allegory for discrimination and today’s political landscape of moral grandstanding for votes then look no further than this one.

This story has a bit of everything. Intrigue, mystery, ptsd and recovery, enemies to lovers / secret relationship, government conspiracy and humour, to name a few. I eargerly await every update to this story and am anxious to know how it ends!

The Eagle’s Nest by HeartOfAspen

Finally! A fic that gives me the Ravenclaw representation I crave. I think I could recommend this fic on the lore depicted of Ravenclaw house alone. ‘The Stacks’ and Rowena Ravenclaw’s own ‘come and go room’ are just such cool details that I could see being real in the HP universe.

This fic is so cosy and makes me feel like I’m just popping back into Hogwarts for another year. You get to see all the usuals like prof. Mcgongall, Nearly headless Nick, PEEVES, Hagrid, as well as learn more about minor characters from the other school houses. The story follows Hermione going to her day to day classes and there are interesting concepts about magic and alchemy that are explored.

Draco and Hermione’s relationship in this one is of course very fluffy and heartfelt. But it’s the attention to detail that really makes this fic outstanding and the experience of reading it feels fleshed out and true to HP universe.

A shorter fic by HeartofAspen that I recommend is one called Set in Stone, it has an adventurous, Indianna Jones vibe to it, that I am so down for.

Teachable Moments by @purplesugarquills

In this fic Hermione is an innocent little virgin determined to learn everything about sex. And Draco Malfoy is her tutor. If that isn’t enough to get you on board then I don’t know what is. Both Heartfelt and Steamy. PurpleSugarQuills writes smut so well but it’s the progression of their growing attachment and the nervous treading of new uncharted waters of romantic relationships for both of them that just adds a whole other level of feels to the story. Also chapter 9 is like reading poetry - its so good. Eugh just give it a read if you haven’t already.

Les Pèlerins by @pacific-rimbaud

This story is high art. It’s transcendent. Reading this story feels like the emotional equivalent of standing around a hundred glowing fairy lights, sipping hot cocoa and being wrapped in the loving embrace of a s/o. I can’t speak my praises highly enough or even become passably coherent in my words when I try to articulate a review.

From the very first paragraph I felt like I was just whisked away on a Parisian holiday and I’ve never even bloody been to Paris but damn it if this story didn’t make me feel like I was there. The writing style is just so tactile and intense it’s like I could feel the cold winter air brush against me as I read it. Eugh I just completely fell in love with the story and the writer.

New Year’s resolution. Read everything PacificRimbaud has ever posted online.

#This post is the online equivalent of me thrusting a pile of books into your hands and poking at you until you every single one #A behaviour I may or may not already be prone to #dramione #fanfiction #fanfic recommendations #I think I may have missed a few but I think I'll try to make a habit of gushing over new writers as I find them #Doing this just satisfies a deep inner urge in me to just compliment the everloving shit out of writers #who made my life a little more bearable with their words

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thatwriterchick222 · 3 years

Text

Secrecy (Arthur Morgan x f/reader)

Summary: After coming to a party with your asshole of a fiance, you meet a rather intriguing man and decide to indulge yourself for the evening.

WARNING: I do mention acts of abuse towards the reader (not from Arthur of course), although not explicit, I just wanted to let everyone know so if that's a triggering topic for you, maybe skip this one. Other than that there is a somewhat violent scene at the end, not over the top but there's some blood mentioned. And of course, SMUT AHEAD!!!!!

************

The soft melodic sound of the various violins and cellos flooded your ears as you entered the fine estate, along with the slight hum of people mingling down in the courtyard. You smiled lightly at a stout man holding a tray of champagne. He held it out to you and you took one, your gloved hand trying desperately not to let it slip. A subtle cough could be heard from the man at your side, ushering you to move along with him. His fingers dug into your arm as he pulled you along before you could even bring your cherry red lips to your glass, almost spilling the contents all over your dress.

He was your fiance. As much as you hated men such as him, the snobby, arrogant, and entitled kind, you needed him. You weren’t exactly sure why, but he was wealthy. Although you, yourself, were very well off in terms of finances, you simply couldn’t do much with it on your own, along with the fact that you had no way to earn more to support yourself. So, here you were, being dragged to a rather extravagant party filled with men exactly like your fiance.

You looped your arm in his as he walked rather feverishly down the stairs to the courtyard, your heels clicking each time you took a step. When the two of you reached the bottom, you were finally able to take a sip of the sweet and bubbly champagne. Your fiance put his hand on your waist, trying to get you to come with him once more.

“Why are you in such a hurry?” You finally spoke up, backing away from his grasp. His hand slipped off of your waist and fell to his side as he turned towards you, the usual angry look in his eyes. His hand balled into a fist.

“Why must you question everything I do, woman?”

You got the sense he was trying to refrain from hitting you, which didn’t come as a surprise. He hit you once, only to get a hit twice as hard from you, in return. He didn’t dare, especially not at a public gathering. You could already sense numerous people staring at the both of you.

“Because everything you do is questionable…” You shot back. His nostrils flared as he turned away, looking out onto the party. You fought back a giggle as you thought about his uncanny resemblance to a toddler when he got angry. You took another sip of the champagne, savouring its taste as it hit your tongue. You were already craving another glass. Or ten.

“I need to speak to someone… don’t do anything foolish.” The man spat, immediately storming off. You sighed, downing the rest of your champagne. Great, now you were the lone woman at the party. You could feel your chest start to tighten, usually what happened to you after speaking to your fiance at all. Pretending like it didn’t affect you was getting harder and harder. The words he said, the things he did, made you sick. The way he spoke to you as if you were a mere child in his presence. You couldn’t count how many times you almost stabbed the bastard to death in his sleep. Tears welled in your eyes as you tried to compose yourself but to no avail. You quickly started off in a random direction, hoping to escape the glaring eyes and the loud noises. Your throat ached as you held in your cries, your head down to avoid a questioning gaze.

It was only when your body crashed into a rather solid and steady object, that you looked up, seeing a large man standing before you. You couldn’t make out his features because of the tears in your eyes, but you could tell he was shocked.

“I’m sorry-” You choked out, simply brushing past him as you continued to speed away. You padded a tear from your cheek with your white glove, careful to avoid smudging your makeup. Finally, you reached a corner of the courtyard that was unoccupied, slightly shielded by some plants. A few deep breaths from your lungs ensued, trying desperately to stop crying.

“Uh- Miss? You alright?”

Your eyes drifted up as a man’s voice came from behind you. There was a deep, southern drawl partnered with his gravelly tone. Your gloved hands quickly wiped your tears as you turned around to face him, putting on a fake smile.

“I’m fine, Sir.”

You were surprised to see a rather handsome man, standing awkwardly in front of you. The first thing your eyes landed on was his bright eyes, although you couldn’t tell exactly what colour they were due to the lighting. His light brown hair dusted over his face, framing his strong features. There was something about his eyes, though, he had a certain kindness in them, something you hadn’t seen in a long while. He had a small patch on his chin, devoid of hair, with a small scar indented on it. You sensed he was fairly older than you, maybe in his thirties.

“You didn’t seem fine when you bumped into me.” He chuckled, his voice rumbling in his chest.

“Oh, that was you? Again, I’m so sorry.” You looked down, sniffling. “I’m just not having a very good time here, that’s all.”

“Me neither. I was dragged here by a friend.” His cheeks flushed slightly as you made eye contact with him again.

“All these wealthy people make my blood boil. No offense, of course.” The man said, approaching you further, turning to he could stand beside you and look out onto the party.

“Oh, I’m not that wealthy. My parents are, though.” You started to calm down as the conversation continued.

“Well, that’s somethin’.”

“Not really. I’m not allowed to do anything unless I’m wed.” You laughed, rubbing your upper arms with your hands from the cold.

“Here.” The man quickly removed his black coat, draping it over your shoulders carefully. You shivered as you became warm again, not to mention the feeling of butterflies in your stomach taking you by surprise. It felt like decades since you experienced this. Breathing in, you caught the smell of his jacket, something along the lines of pine and smoke. Almost as if he had just been venturing out in the woods just prior. It confused you, but it was comforting.

“I’m Arthur by the way. Arthur Morgan.” He held out his large hand to you, and you shook it gently.

“Y/N L/N. Pleased to meet you.” Warmth spread throughout your cheeks.

“So, Mr. Morgan, have any fine young ladies come to take your hand tonight?” You pulled his jacket around yourself.

“No. What about you?”

“Fine young ladies? No.”

“I mean, gentlemen…” He shuffled closer to you. You subtly looked around, eyes landing on your deadbeat of a fiance standing with three other men, mingling.

“No.”

You looked over at Arthur. You could pretend you weren’t taken for one night.

“Well then, how convenient.” He joked, his arm brushing yours. You had a feeling you knew what he wanted, and for once you wanted the same thing. Maybe you just needed an escape, for one night.

“Do you want to… take this inside?” You looked up at him through the corner of your eye, your stomach churning with excitement. It wasn’t every day you had an opportunity such as this, with a man this handsome.

“Definitely.” He mumbled under his breath.

The two of you walked eagerly up the stairs, a quick glance over your shoulder assured you that your fiance was not paying attention to you at all, allowing you to slip out without notice. Perfect. Arthur nodded at one of the men standing by the door as you entered, looking around for anywhere more… private. His warm hand laid itself on the small of your back, sending tingles throughout your body as he gestured to your right.

“C’mon, up here.”

You grinned and complied, following him up the set of stairs, red carpet leading up as you went. Your heart quickened, mostly out of excitement. The tightly bound corset you had on seemed to be getting tighter as you breathed. Feeling like you were once again a teenager, you grabbed the burly man’s hand gently as he led you up the stairs.

When he reached the top, he peeked around a corner to make sure no one was there. After a short moment, he nodded over to a door on the other side of the hall. You shakily stepped up the final stair, following him to the room. He gripped the doorknob and turned it slowly, opening the door a crack and peeking in. Seeing an empty room, he opened the door fully.

“After you.” He spoke softly as he held the door open for you, his hand finding its way to your lower back once more. You stepped through the doorway, taking in the small room before you. He followed suit, closing the door behind him. You gasped at the numerous shelves filled with various books, big and small, thick and thin. If only you could steal all of them… as if your fiance would even allow you to read. You reluctantly removed his coat from your shoulders, placing it neatly on a small desk in the center of the room.

“A lotta books.” The gentleman cleared his throat, leaning on the desk. You were almost speechless. It had been so long since you had read a book, transported yourself into another world. You missed it dearly.

“They’re beautiful.” You finally spoke up, approaching the shelves and running your fingers over the spines, taking in their essence.

“You’re a reader, then, I take it?” He questioned.

“Yes. Well, not anymore… my-” A short pause, trying not to mention your fiance, “I don’t do it anymore.”

“That’s a shame.”

“It is.” You looked down.

“I’ve read a few books in my time. I haven’t been able to really… immerse myself in ‘em, if y’know what I mean.” He walked over to you, now standing beside you as he eyed the books.

“You just haven’t found the right book.” You smiled, crouching down to the lower shelves. “What genre do you like the most?”

“I ain’t sure. I just read what I find.” He looked down at you. Your stomach sprung with excitement, the angle from which you were crouched and looking up at him making you flustered. You looked away, back at the books.

“Hmmm... “ You pulled out a book on the smaller side, examining the cover. “You seem like a ‘Dracula’ by Bram Stoker kind of man.” You joked, standing up and handing the book to him. He took it happily, reading the small print on the back.

“I do?”

“Definitely.”

“Have you read it?” He looked up at you through his hair.

“Six times.”

“Well, how ‘bout that.” He looked back down at the book, amused. Before you had time to say anything, he slipped the book into his pocket, tucking it away.

“Wait, you can’t just steal it!” You laughed, a bit flabbergasted by his calm manner.

“Sure I can. They won’t miss it.”

“Well… I might just have to report you then, won’t I?” You teased as you stepped closer to him, your hand finding his large gun belt. You rested it there lightly, tugging him closer. He inhaled sharply, his eyes darkening.

“I’d like to see ya’ try.” He grumbled, hands coming up to your waist. Your heart fluttered and you lingered there, in that fine moment, the anticipation and tension as thick as smoke between your two bodies. Never had you experienced such attraction, the feeling as if you were hungry for his touch. Your body was aching for him and you weren’t quite sure what to make of it. You had read about things like this, kissing and… such. Although you had never done anything beyond unpassionate and boring sex with your fiance, you had a slight idea of what to do.

Continue reading here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/33235657

#arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan smut

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elriell · 3 years

Text

Some thoughts on Poppy x Cass x Kieran & The Joining.

After some awesome chats with the wonderful peeps ( @silverlinedeyes , @azriiel , @rhyssescups & @azrielisababe ) I think that there are several little tidbits that really hint at The Joining or potentially more, I know it is a pretty mixed bag of opinions but here are some of mine. [Spoilers: TCOGB]

Implication vs. Foreshadowing

“Casteel’s arm curled, tightening around my shoulder, drawing me closer. My breath snagged as his movement triggered Kieran. He shifted behind me, and my pulse felt like a trapped bird. A sleek, muscled thigh slid between mine, pressing in. I had no idea if it was Casteel’s or Kieran’s.”

“I didn’t know when I’d stopped thinking about the fact that it wasn’t just Casteel’s body that touched mine, it wasn’t his chest that my head fell back against.”

“But that wasn’t the only explanation for why I was so warm. Heat pressed against my back. A heavy arm lay over my waist and a leg was tucked between mine.”

The first time they... have fun, he does so with Kieran nearby.

She could have easily left the joining in the air, having implied it but not intending to follow through yet we get 23 mentions, alongside several moments of highly sexual/emotional connection between the three.

Instead throughout the book we are slowly introduced to the prospect of the three of them gently, coaxing them in to the storyline repeatedly through AKOFAF.

“Cass is too jealous...”

“A ghost of a smile appeared. “And then he’d be…intrigued.”

My mouth opened, but my mind took that and leapt with it. I had nothing to say. Absolutely nothing, but I thought about what I had read about the wolven and the Atlantians. There was a bond between some of them, and while not much was known about what that bond entailed, I was confident that a Prince was of the class that wolven would be bonded to. I wanted to ask, but considering I was in a tub and naked, now wasn’t the time.”

There is way to much we do not know about their bond, or their past to make that statement in my opinion, I think ordinarily I would agree, except with Kieran, he is the one person I could see Cass trusting with Poppy.

Not to mention textually speaking, he brings it up plenty and never seems offended by the idea.

“I’m not judging either.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re not?”

“I’m not,” I insisted.

“So, you’re interested then?” he murmured.”

“Did you bookmark the chapters detailing how Willa spent afternoons entertaining not one but two suitors, one in front and the other—?”

“You seem to know a lot about that book.”

“I love that fucking book,” he said, and my jaw ached from how hard I was clenching it. “So, you’re interested then, Princess. What a wild side you have.”

“Look, I know you’re not looking for this marriage to go beyond the necessary,” he said, and that strange, stupid ache in my chest pulsed. “So, it’s not even something you need to worry about. But the Joining is meant to strengthen the bond that’s already there, and ensure that the partner is also a part of that bond. It’s not done lightly, and again, it is not always a sexual thing. I know it’s been done where everyone kept their body parts to themselves.”

“I can always read to you,” Casteel offered. “I still have a certain diary with me. There is a chapter I’m sure you’ll be interested in. Miss Willa has the same sleeping arrangement—”

“No. Nope.” I screwed my eyes closed. “Not necessary.”

“Are you sure?” Casteel seemed to have wiggled closer. His entire leg pressed against mine.”

All of these instances are in reference to the Joining/Kieran. Never does he imply jealousy or something he would disagree with, if anything we are told how much stronger it would make the bond (though we have yet to see where it stands) and also include Poppy. You cannot convince me that she would bring this Joining up so many time only to have it never come to fruition.

Potential Breadcrumbs

“A hundred different thoughts and emotions exploded through me, so many, so fast, I couldn’t make sense of them.”

This is during the cuddle scene, this really screams foreshadowing for her emotions and the tug-of-war she is going to undergo!

“I…” I looked around, seeing nothing but thick fog and Kieran standing above us, staring behind me and breathing just as heavily as Casteel. Confusion swept through me.”

“Just as heavily as Casteel.” interesting choice of words.

So while we are on the topic let’s speak about Poppy & Kieran;

“Reaching for the blanket, I tugged it to my waist. A muscle flexed in Kieran’s jaw. “He didn’t force himself on you?”

“You’re okay?” Kieran asked, and I felt Casteel nod. “Penellaphe?”My tongue felt heavy, but I managed to work out a muffled, “Yes.”

He is not only focused on Casteel’s wellbeing but also Poppy’s. We also get significant growth between them and their comfort with each other...

“He lifted his brows. “Are you worried about me?” Crossing my arms, I nodded.

“Don’t be nice to me,” he replied, and I sensed amusement from him. “It weirds me out.”

“Sorry.” He smiled then as he walked to where I stood. “You don’t sound remotely sorry.” I grinned at him.

“Do me a favor,” Kieran said, looking down at me. “Protect your Prince, Poppy.”

They both understand each other because they both understand their love for Casteel and desire to protect him.

“Still caring for him would only lead to heartache,” I whispered, knowing the truth right then and there. I did care. I never stopped caring. And acknowledging that felt as if I’d slipped under the black water.

“It doesn’t have to,” Kieran said. “But even so, sometimes, the heartbreak that comes with loving someone is worth it, even if loving that person means eventually saying goodbye to them.”

The roughness in his tone spoke more than his words shared. “You sound like you have experience with that.”

This is so cryptic. Either way, it is a beautiful scene where they are opening up to each other and being genuine, not to mention the subtle hints at it being “worth it” despite the pain. Could Kieran have love/d Cas? We know from JLA that she said that most Wolven are Bi/Poly.

“I wasn’t sure how I could come to terms with it even when I had time. “I don’t...”

“You don’t want this.” Kieran finished for me, his wintry gaze meeting mine.

We can only speculate what this is referring to but I don’t think it is strange to think it could be the Joining, not to mention JLA said she wrote a scene that was unlike any of the smut she has ever done before and it occurs at the beginning of the book or near it... I am guessing something will urge them to need to do the joining, perhaps to reform the bond between Kieran and Cass that was severed.

This goes hand in hand with my theory that something will happen that separates them and has Poppy/Kieran having to go on a mission for Cass either with or without him. I think this could be how she finds a way to balance out the scales in the development in their relationships as PoppyCass has a full book more than with Kieran.

Not to mention this early review of the book mentions “sharing” & “watching” this heavily implies the Joining could happen.

Kieran & Cass

“If I had turned to Casteel in my sleep, Kieran had also turned, as if Casteel were a magnet that drew both of us.”

I strange turn of phrase. My thoughts are if a Poly Ship or alike were ever to happen there would need to be complete trust, a lack of jealousy and be functional much like HeronGrayStairs.

I truly believe the potential is there between PoppyCassKieran.

“Disbelief and anger radiated from him, but I felt something else, something deeper that was warm and stronger than the anger. “I know why you’re doing this,” Kieran whispered.”

“Casteel said nothing for a long moment and then said, “It’s not the only reason.” Words went unsaid between them, but were understood nonetheless.”

Their bond is undeniably strong and I truly believe there is more to it than meets the eye, unquestionably they love each other, the question remains how.

“When a bonded elemental takes on a partner, the bond can be extended to that person. It requires an exchange of blood between the three—or the four if the partner is also bonded. And the exchange of blood…well, it is quite…” He cleared his throat as his cheeks flushed. “It can become very intimate. In a way that would most likely make you very uncomfortable.”

I just can’t see why she would make such a show of the Joining for no payoff in the next book.

“First off,” he said, struggling for breath, “I don’t think anyone is going to expect that.” From you seemed to hang unsaid between us.”

Not to mention the fact there is little secrets between them, when no one else was told about Poppy’s gift Kieran was. When no one (Malek aside) knew about Shea but Kieran, and now Poppy.

It is a recurring theme that the three of are very open with each others secrets.

And I can only imagine it growing in the next book.

This ^^^^ just make me believe more and more we are getting some major Kieran development and book time, going along with my theory him and Poppy will be going to be spending time together for some reason.

So in summary, I think there is little doubt in my mind that the Joining will happen and potentially even a ship born.

#fbaa #akofaf #tcogb #poppy balfour #casteel da'neer #kieran contou #cass x poppy x kieran #poppycasskieran #poppycaskieran #poppy x cass x kieran #from blood and ashes #a kingdom of flesh and fire #the crown of gilded bones #tcogb spoilers

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thesunshinebunny · 3 years

Text

It’s Show Time

I made this request several months ago and I had many comments wanting a second part with the song More (K/ DA) and since the problem with the publications is now fixed, I think it’s a good time to write it once and for all before returning to the orders.

In this second part, reader is fused with Evelynn and Seraphine, you’ll understand what I mean.

I hope you enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VTkBuxU4yk

Days, weeks without the leaders knowing anything about your new singing career. Since you got off the stage that beautiful day, dozens of record producers, even audiovisual managers were at your feet asking, imploring you, to give them a chance in their agencies. After long days and millions of messages per hour, which they played as background music in Mr. Trein's classes, you decided to give this new career a chance in a completely different world from the one you were used to.

Weeks since you last told them about a new song that was being produced with three more members, it seems you were going to be part of a group band, but you didn’t delve much on the subject for confidentiality reasons. The only thing you could tell them is that, in a couple of weeks, and the famous day finally coming, a music video with the respective band was going to be released.

Leona and Riddle weren't very excited. Let's see, don't get me wrong, Leona was very proud with all the little act you put on on stage, you even made Vil himself shut his mouth, 1000 for the effort, not just anyone does it. But he wasn’t very "into" in your music career. Yes, he was happy that you found something to distract you from all these catastrophic events at school, but other than that ... nothing more. Instead, Riddle… he doesn't know much about this whole world, he had an idea, and he was happy that you could meet other people outside of school. Perhaps he would be more excited by the time he waych the music video.

And like I said before… the famous music video release day had arrived.

The leaders were having a routine meeting, almost nothing interesting and very little to report, maybe a few complaints from the cafeteria or flight classes, but as I just said, nothing important. The mirror chamber was on the verge of being clear, faces of exhaustion and disinterest poured out of the doorway when a whirlwind of five multi-colored heads arrived to collapse the seven dormitory leaders.

"Care to explain what this outrageous come for?" Riddle was about to turn his trademark color as he saw his two residents sprawled on the floor after colliding with Kalim and Idia's tablet.

"Wooow, that happened so fast, my head hurts" Azul held out his hand to the white haired boy and helped him stand up, while the tablet flew off and floated in the middle of the room as usual.

Leona and Vil looked at the scene with contemptuous looks, just as their irritation was clearly evident at being pushed by their residents. As for Malleus, who hallelujah had been notified at once about the leaders' meeting, he simply deigned to observe the scene in a mocking way, but never disrespecting his classmates; a little giggle and he was composed again.

"It's out!!" Ace and Deuce jumped off the floor and faced the crosshairs of their dorm leaders. Ace continued to take out his cell phone and enter the conversation he had with you, clicking on the link you sent him a few minutes ago.

"What went out?" Azul, intrigued by his comment, approached the redhead, except that he ended up being dragged out of the room. Each freshman grabbed the arm of their respective leader and led thm into a classroom with audiovisual projectors ... except for Sebek, he simply asked his young master to follow him. In all this tumult, Ace connected his cell phone to a projector, revealing a black screen on a white canvas in the middle of the classroom. The seven leaders were completely lost, some even wondered why they had followed them, ahem… Leona more than anyone.

Now, with the cell phone connected, the speakers at full volume and each participant sitting in a chair, trying to be as comfortable as possible in their pompous suits, and with the lights off, Ace gave play and music began to reverberate throughout room. Multiple vibrant colors invaded the vision of everyone present, shapes, figures and objects began to come out of nowhere and a voice dislodged them all.

Akali that girl, 'kali go grr 'Kali don't stop,' kali don't skrrt 'Kali got a job,' Kali go to work 뜨거워 언제나, don't get burnt

The first to appear on the screen, the origin of that unknown voice was a girl with an incredible blonde hair, long and in a ponytail, which if were loose, it would’ve reach the floor. The faces of most of the boys showed confusion, it was obvious that they didn’t know her, much less had you talked about her in one of those short conversations about the video clip. The only ones who knew who this girl with violet eyes was, which matched her purplish top with sparkling blues and a shorts that barely covered her butt, were Vil, Idia and surprisingly Ace.

Without giving many explanations, avoiding distracting others from the girl's movements, Vil commented aloud, seeing Kalim's face when he didn’t understand why he wasn’t seeing one of his great friends first and foremost in the video clip, that the girl was from a female-only academy, much like NRC.

All I'll ever know is life up on a throne 시작 하면 끝 을 보는 거야 You want More

Everyone turned to see the others, even Leona raised his ears when he heard your voice appear for a fraction of seconds, to end up combining with the voice from another girl. This second girl was one of tall build, pale skin with red eyes and bicolor white and blue hair; Unlike the first, she was already known within the music industry but she had never recorded a video clip with another person.

In the middle of the shots of her, Deuce saw your profile hiding behind a mural, even some shots of your hands playing or ... moving your fingers in the air. With the chorus appearing on the screen, tension began to build in the environment. Why weren't you showing up? The directors gave you the ugly eye and left you behind? Why weren't you dancing with the other members?

During the chorus, no matter how high it was, the guys could hear your voice. It was there, it was in complete harmony with the other voices, but at the same time, you weren’t there. For some it was going to sound a bit embarrassing to admit, that they could discriminate your voice from any other, even in the midst of a crowd of people. Azul and Idia had found a video of your little recital and had downloaded it for…the great seven know for what; perhaps to have it in loop for hours. Even Malleus was getting impatient not seeing you on screen, not seeing you enjoying yourself like the other members were showing it.

When I go, it's for gold Yeah, they cool, but I'm cold I don't fit in the mold I'm a rebel

The video now showed Neige walking down a large red carpet, having people asking for photos and autographs, aside from reporters and paparazzi taking photos. And besides, couldn’t miss the bodyguards, scaring off every crazy fan who threw themselves on him. Throughout that walk, Neige was dedicated to signing autographs left and right, never stopping to look at people. Perhaps the aesthetic they wanted to give him was from a famous and megastar, but seeing this brunette so ... carefree made Vil tense.

As much as the events of the NRC’show have remained in the past, one doesn’t simply forget their rivalry, and much less now that he had to see how his greatest rival, both in modeling and now in music, was part of his first video clip with the person who refused to participate in his musical group. Yes, Vil was dealing with serious problems of guilt and regret.

What's higher than the top? That's me Come take a look before falling at my feet

Again, the only thing the camera showed was your profile, hiding and appearing behind murals. For the last time you came out behind a marble figure, the camera made a 180 ° turn, starting from your back, but it didn’t end on your chest, it was in a downward movement, until it ended at your feet, just at that your sentence ended and your body was left squatting on the reflective floor.

At this point you could see the despair of Kalim and Riddle in their eyes. They were both sitting in their chairs and leaning forward, hoping that they could see your appearance more clearly, but each time your profile appeared, the camera would turn to another objective. Both boys had their hands fisted over the edges of their seats, while their body jerked back involuntarily when their expectations were not met.

All I'll ever know is life up on a throne

Again, the camera avoided having a complete shot of your body. This time, what looked like an aerial view of the studio, or whatever that black room was with blue, light blue and purple lights, began to spin on itself, without turning on your body, at the same time each time it approached your back. At the moment of collapse, you made an almost imperceptible movement, turning around and hitting the camera with your open hand and sending it flying into another space, again changing the perspective and the person as the center of attention.

Jack was wagging his tail at all times, he was undoubtedly enjoying the video clip, both the aesthetics and the melody. Obviously, he wanted to see you even more on screen, but inside he knew that at some point you were going to appear, even to blow up the whole video.

Again the chorus appeared, like the first time, you didn’t appear, no matter how many changes of perspective there were. It is as if the most famous people, or at least with the greatest recognition, were predisposed to have more camera time. Even Malleus was beginning to grow impatient. He had seen you happy weeks ago and he could see the excitement in your eyes when you told him about the video clip when the idea was still starting. He wanted to see you more, just like everyone.

The screen went black, and in a moment of great tension, doubt and nerves, the boys thought the clip was over. Ace and Deuce were about to bolt, ready to beat up and kill the record company that had "hired" and duped you, but a little glint and a hand hovering over a window stopped them in their tracks.

Way out 感觉犹如海浪, on the wave now 不断往前遨游, never weighed down This is how I do it every day, wow, wow

And finally… finally, you appeared in your great splendor. Your hand lightly decorated with a blue ring chained to your wrist was the starting point for a great sequence shot towards your body, revealing your arm covered with a semi-transparent black mesh jacket with purple and light blue highlights, and ending in a black top, purplish with pink and sky blue iridescent patterns. And your face… woow, your face made up like a rising star, cold-toned glitters and shadows, silver pearls around your eyes, and shiny pink lips.

Everyone, absolutely everyone was stumped. Your way of singing, the movements that enchanted the camera, the warm tones that came from your lips; your simple presence blended with the aesthetics of the video. Even singing in Chinese was a nice touch to throw off anyone hearing and / or watching this show.

Kalim, finally seeing you, let out a cry of joy and clapped as he had never done it before at one of his parties. Riddle was proud and couldn't help but smile to see you shine. Leona smirked when no one was looking at him, watching as your head fell into contact with a bed and your whole body merged with the objects and the predominant aesthetic.

More Know I got it, so here you go You look like you could use some more Know I got it and never runnin' low

Your walk towards a large illuminated door, ending up turning around and appearing in the middle of a room with the other members to give the last chorus, left everyone excited. They had already seen your movements and the way your body moved to the rhythm of the music, as if you didn’t have a skeleton, but watching you dance on the big screen, with a musical group, having better and closer shots was another different experience completely.

Let's say also, there was a bit of jealousy on the part of the boys when they saw some shots showing you with the other members, interacting and being very touchy. Your smile, as beautiful as it was, that someone else, outside of NRC, was responsible, made the boys' blood run hot.

Never givin 'less and that's how it'll stay You know I got it like all day, all the time

The room was silent for a few seconds, ending in cheers and applause from the first years. Ace disconnected his cell phone and was ready to make a video call when a message notification echoed off the walls. The guys gathered around the device and read the message, your message.

"Get ready, I'll get more;)"

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