#It's not that I can't cook with gas.

[roaldseth]

“It was a different story to each person Z'aanta told it to, and even then it was not a sure thing of staying the same for any consecutive retellings[. ...] The hunt was not even one commissioned by the Order, and yet it still existed amongst it in its records, [...] a completely different tale than the one from the master hunter’s mouth despite it chronicling the exact same events.”

【 Full Wage 】 an Octopath Traveler fanfic

Z'aanta | Rated M | 11,065 words, 3/3 Chapters

COMPLETED

Please mind full tags on AO3. Prologue - Story - Epilogue format

Fic linked below ↓

[karmicpunishment]

ranking hunting dogs by how well i think they can cook

tachihara. this might be a controversial rating but I do think the boy can cook. i mean with his ability he could multi-task a lot of the process at once. i don't think he's like a gourmet chef or anything but he's got a decent amount of recipes under his belt, and let's be honest, he totally had to learn to fend for himself cooking-wise. it was either learn or starve. whenever he spends time in the hunting dog base after a long time away he makes everyone a meal.

jouno. if he's in a kitchen that has the proper accessibility aides he's an even better cook than tachihara, but he struggles in unfamiliar spaces (understandably). he enjoys a lot of the technical processes of cooking and cares a lot about what goes into his food.

tecchou. okay hear me out here. tecchou is a perfectly fine chef in terms of the actual cooking. he can make rice and cook meat and chop vegetables, etc. he just has absolute dogshit taste in pairings and seasonings (as seen in canon). makes the most diabolical pairings.

fukuchi. this guy got shipped out to war at 18 and hasn't looked back since. too worried about the end of the world to learn how to cook rice. and he keeps accidentally chopping cutting boards into pieces with his ability.

teruko. love her to death, absolutely cannot cook to save her life. girl has never lived a life outside of being a soldier. she never saw the point in learning how to cook. tachihara offers to teach her a little and she nearly burns down their command center (she's secretly a little glad, she wants to keep eating his cooking). she is limited to only microwave use.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[fvckw4d]

I tried to heat something in the oven and it tripped the breaker THREE FUCKING TIMES and when I told my roommate and my landlord they were just like "oh you just don't know how to reset a circuit breaker do you? You pathetic little baby?" I was a latchkey kid in a small town you iPad baby fucks. I was more of a capable adult at age 10 than either of you are right fucking now. The problem is my fucking oven doesn't work. I fucking hate snobby ass yuppie city people.

[hairtusk]

god, 'cosplaying as a tradwife' is rattling around in my head in the funniest way possible, because it just shows how little people can actually tell about me irl from my blog. I'm in a longterm committed relationship, but my boyfriend does all of the cooking, cleaning, washing up and laundry in our relationship because I take the birth control pill and deal with the side effects of that (because we're having premarital sex and don't want children yet) ....... mega tradwife vibes I guess ?????????

[tenrose]

Just turned on the heating for the first time of the season... Already seeing money running away through the window 🙃

[slumbering-shadows]

I keep discovering all these awesome recipes that sound so cool and delicious but I am limited by a lack of cooking knowledge, a slim grocery budget and a stove that makes me ill and I think that's incredibly homophobic of the universe. Let me make chicken feta spinach burgers and potato salad. I am tired of microwaved food.

[microdroplet]

thinking about the spaces inbetween

awake and entranced and asleep

then and now and the future

society and the hedge and the wilderness

reality and the bridges you build with your voice and dreams (aspirations)

here and the whole damn country and there...

your mind and the spiral and mine,

certainty and vulnerability and the deep forever unknown.

[bisexualpixiebabe]

I had to rearrange my living room to make room for my new treadmill but I hate it but I have to do it 😡

[seat-safety-switch]

I don't know if you've ever been to Paris before, but I recommend going. Normally, I would not have gone, but I made a really rich enemy on IRC and he spent a lot of money to have me kidnapped and brought to his home country. While I was there, I got to try a bunch of restaurants (they're hostage-takers, not barbarians) and came away impressed. Something was missing, though, and herein is my genius idea.

In Paris you can get any kind of food. Chinese, Vietnamese, Japanese, Thai: and it's all good. All of it. You literally can't find a bad restaurant. At one point, I walked into a convenience store and got a plate of one-Euro nachos that made me cry at the beauty of the arrangement.

Everyone around me was taking this for granted. Having lived there for years, their quality threshold had crept invisibly upwards until nothing could impress again. They needed something to re-calibrate their sense of truly bad food. That's where I came in. After I got kicked out of the country, I decided to come back with some investor support. I can burn cereal, usually by roasting it gently with a blowtorch on the top of an old gas can. Investors were easy to find.

Our first week of opening was tremendous. Hardened Parisians were discovering their first taste of truly incompetent food. The novelty of it all had captured them. There's just one problem, though: after making an entire lunch rush's feast of poorly-cut toast in reheated canned soup, my cooking skills began to improve from sheer experience. The complaints began to change tone. You got too good, they cried, you're not the same bad chef we once loved. Again, I was deported.

I looked out the window of the plane as it left De Gaulle, staring down onto the beautiful streets of Paris. Down there, I imagined, real gourmets were now eating food out of trash cans out of desperation to recapture what they had experienced with me. If there is one nice thing to be said, I now have two Michelin Stars here in my homeland of Canada, where my consommé-and-grilled-cheese recipe is now so much better than most of our restaurants that it made the Prime Minister Herself come and spit in my face for ruining the economy, before awarding me an Order of Canada. It's not the same.

[dylanconrique]

just got home from work at 1am. *sobs violently* 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[pk-heart]

Was cleaning the kitchen and my phd in chemistry housemate was like uhh wow are you sure you should mix vinegar and baking soda?! like

[evilminji]

I woke up to this thought? And it made me smile~

Wrong way Au?

It's EASY to fly from point A to point B. Linear. Just on long, no traffic, straight line. And if you get lost? Go higher! There you are! But "normal" reporter families with Totally Human genetics can't exactly DO that.

Plus? It's part of the whole Americana thing!

Childhood.

Gotta do a road trip, see weird road side attractions, camp and hike a bit. Go somewhere other then the farm for once. Soooo~ everyone into the car! Yes, you too, Kon.

And don't look at Lois, kids. She hates this idea as much as you do. But it's for Dad. So we're doing it. Get in the car. Some times loving people means "suuuure, honey! I TOTALLY want to sit in an uncomfortable car for hours for your nostalgic dream trip!", so get comfy.

Problem is? He either can't navigate for SHIT (unlikely) or this patch of nowhere? Possibly haunted? Cursed? Fuckey. Very, very Reality Fuckey. Far more likely, honestly. They THINK that was the a same barn the passed four times now... but it looks... wrong? Off. Worse each time, in ways that are hard to place.

Where the FUCK are they Clark?

According to the GPS?

Here.

(You are Here. You are Here. You are He-)

Oh, THAT'S not cursed! She fucking KNEW they shouldn't have left the city. FUCK the countryside. She likes ONE(1) small town and it's where her in-laws live, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! If they die, she swear to GOD-!!!

Then Jon points to colorful tents up the road. A mix of the kind you buy at big box stores and Ren fairs. Balloons. What the fuuuuuck? "Fenton Family Reunion"?

Was... was that THERE a second ago?

Clark's very deliberate Not Too Tight Grip Of Panic ™ on the steering wheel? Confirms that No Honey, it was not. Kon points out? That eventually they ARE going to run out of gas. They should stop.

Words can not express how little the Kents want to do that. They have KIDS to protect. This feels "magical fuckery" to them. AKA? One of the few things Kryptonians very much CAN NOT handle.

And luck getting ahold of anybody back there kids? No? Emergency lines too?

Fuck ™.

Okay! Guess we're stopping! Stay behind us.

They park.

There are campers and trucks, modified tanks and trackers. A few horses grazing side by side with an honest to God moose and two mules. A Llama. Someone's anchored a dirigible. A boat with spindly chicken footed legs, like it's the house of baba yaga's sea faring love child. The name Fenton is slapped on everything. Peoples faces.

Grinning.

Everything grinning.

As they get closer, the racket gets louder. Crashes and smashes. Roaring laughter. Explosions. The screech of metal failing and the whine of energy overclocked. Fatty meats cooking. Spices from around the globe. Radios and instruments, at least one of which violently cuts off in a smash.

They pass an almost violently balloon choked arch, into chaos.

Grinning giants, everywhere. Every color, every shade, every race imaginable. The spectrum of humanity laid bare. Made large. Grinning, Grinning, Grinning. Crashing into each other, against, through. Smashing and laughing, as everything breaks around them. Titans.

Darting underfoot, children. Fast with wild eyes. Mad grins and fae laughs. Wives and husband's, partners and friends, dancing in and out of the chaos. Just as destructive. Perhaps MORE so. Grabbing meals from grills, laughing and joking, tossing children into the fray, all as they effortless hold conversations of their own.

Like a Dionysian revelry, all madness and joy.

Then they are noticed.

"Cousin!"

One of them booms. Locking eyes on Clark. He doesn't even have time to move, doesn't realize until too late, in all the chaos, that the man meant HIM. A running start is followed by a brutal, full body, flying tackle. Clark is taken skidding to the ground and into a headlock.

"LETS WRASTLE~!!"

He watches in helpless confusion as, with high-pitched war cries, a pair of twins jump Jon. They are wearing war paint. Krypto already taken out by a glowing green dog, now confused and wrestling off to the side. Lois has whipped out her tazer. Kon between her and who ever comes next.

By the time he wrestle his "cousin" off of him, he's lost sight of them both.

Dives into the fray.

Magic be damned, that's his FAMILY!

It... It's the most fun he's had in years. That any of them have. He finds Lois in a breathless, screaming, debate/fistfight with her new best friend. Samantha "call me Sam Or ELSE" Manson-Fouley-Fenton. Kon is in the mud pit, wrestling other teenagers in some sort of battle Royale. Jon? Has become king of the ferals. The other parents are impressed.

His years of Damian wrangling finally paying dividends, apparently.

By the time Clark FINALLY tracks down Krypto, there is already crowd and it apparently six heel turns deep into the WWE Grand Saga of the Fenton Pet's League. Krypto, what the hell. No. No you may NOT "form one last alliance against my sworn wrestling enemy, to prove the true meaning of Christmas!" It's the middle of SUMMER!

Clark... Clark is so tired.

He's also a Fenton now. Yes, he KNOWS that's not how anything works. YOU try explaining that! He's on the call list and card list. It's like the Addams family out here! They just... just DECIDED him and his family were related! They've apparently DONE THAT BEFORE!

They leave with directions, fudge, more leftovers then anyone could possibly eat, and a massive new extended family. One that honestly? The Justice League SHOULD have known about. The sheer destructive chaos they get up too? EVERYONE should be aware of them. It seems impossible NOT to be! But? According to THEM, it's a "family thing". Reality tries to ignore them for "it's own sanity"? What???

So yeah.... no more road trips.

How was YOUR weekend?

@hdgnj @legitimatesatanspawn @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter @lolottes @babbling-babull @dcxdpdabbles @hypewinter @mutable-manifestation

[thedisablednaturalist]

Literally all the shit rich people have turned into luxuries are stuff many disabled people need (or would need to manage their pain but can't afford it)

Comfy ergonomic chairs

Indoor pool/hot tub (therapy bath)

Massages on the regular

Aides (rich people call them servants)

Yea even a cook who makes you special meals (perfect for people with special dietary needs and for those with severe allergies, as well as people who are in too much pain or are otherwise unable to cook)

Elevators in your house (even small ones just for groceries, my rich aunt has one in her beach house!)

Rich people don't buy these for fun I hope but custom powerchairs are obscenely expensive. It pisses me off when I see another person invent "the wheelchair of the future!" Which then is literally never fucking used because none of us can afford it (and insurance definitely won't pay)

Indoor gyms or even personal exercise equipment. Hard to go out to a gym somewhere else when you're disabled, especially if you are immunocompromised

Outdoor spaces to relax in. It's literally vital for your mental health to at least see the outdoors. I'd rather be bedridden in a sunroom (with retractable blinds) than a shitty apartment with one tiny window.

There's even freaking health retreats these people go to regularly. There's a fibromyalgia retreat in new york where they basically take care of all your needs while trying different treatments and seeing which ones help. Either it's heaven or making money off of scamming desperate people who are able to scrape the money together to go.

Private planes, which I honestly think shouldn't exist, but one that specifically catered to people with disabilities (spaces for wheelchairs/other mobility devices, accessible handicapped airplane bathroom, anxiety reducing tools, trained medical personnel and care team)

Also customized cars, except instead of making gas guzzling racecars to joyride in while everyone else is trying to get to work, cars with electric ramps, lifts, doors, cars customized for someone with limb differences. Those cars where you can roll your wheelchair right up to the wheel. Fuck even self driving cars once they are no longer deathtraps.

Skincare products that are safe for sensitive skin like eczema but also actually work

Nice-looking clothes customized to fit limb differences, access points, look good in wheelchairs, colostomy bags, etc. while also being comfortable and not fast fashion.

Dental care!!! What the fuck why is this shit so expensive!! I don't want my teeth to fall out!! (Disabled people usually need more dental care bc we have a harder time keeping up maintenance)

Rich people go and splurge on all of these even though they don't need them while calling disabled people selfish for begging their insurance for even one of these.

[daggers-drawn-returns]

Please Help Homeless Trans Women Serving Our Homeless Squatter Community Raise $110 to Refill Our Water Tanks and Propane Tanks

February 13th 2024

My girlfriend and I are two transgender homeless women living in Slab City, a homeless squatter town in the middle of the desert.

We live in one of the poorest communities in the United States. That means no water, electrical, or gas utility -- even if people had the money to pay for them.

Our camp is dedicated to helping our neighbors and our community. As such, some of our services we provide are fresh water and free propane for heating and cooking.

Our water tanks are empty and cost $40 each to fill. Our propane tanks cost $25 per each two and $15 for the ride to the exchange.

We need $135 to pay for everything we need.

We don't have an income outside of whatever donations we raise and so if we can't raise money, we can't help people.

Please help us raise $135 to fund us buying water and propane for our community!

💕 Cash App: $ThistleDD

💕 Venmo: @ThistleDD

💕 PayPal: PayPal.me/ThistleDD

If you can't donate please like, reblog, and share. Every bit of help counts!

[genderqueerdykes]

disabled trans person needs help fleeing unsafe housing with no heat in winter

hello, my name is johnny or equinox. i am a disabled trans person and i have another update on my situation, i am currently in a worse situation than i was before. i am staying in our gas is not turned on which means we can't cook, have no heater or hot water. the gas person was supposed to come today, but we never heard them knock. they can't come back for another week. our toilet and shower do not work. it is november and has been dipping below freezing temperatures at night and we only own one space heater. i have arthritis and this makes my pain flare up horrifically.

there are other problems as well, but the most pressing issues are the lack of heat and options to cook with and inability to bathe or use the bathroom. i need to save up money so i can find a safer situation, as i am severely disabled and cannot go without being able to cook meals for myself. i struggle with fatigue and chronic pain and can't put that much effort into meals.

I need to save up to find an alternative place to stay at. i am deeply scared and tired of living in unsafe situations. i have been in precarious housing since 2020 and am starting to have severe mental health symptoms from the trauma of repeated homelessness and abuse at the hands of manipulative roommates.

if you're interested in helping me, you can do so here:

pay pal: glittergraphicnightmare @ gmail .com

ko-fi: Equinoxian

cash app: $glitterGraphix

venmo: Equinoxian

Chime: $Equinoxian

thank you for reading and considering helping me, have a great day