#Just stuff that’s Sort Of Interesting To Me!

[copperbadge]

I found myself wishing the other day that humans had to sleep for an hour every 2-3 hours. I think this would solve a lot of problems and create a bunch of interesting new ones!

1. Publicly available places to sleep would be commonplace because you'd want to just sleep where you are and keep getting stuff done. You don't want to be commuting to work every 2 hours for example. So you'd do like three waking shifts and then go home for a while, and you'd have a comfy place to sleep at work.

2. I would never have to spend more than two hours doing any one thing and if I did I'd get a break in the middle and wouldn't have to come up with an excuse to go.

3. Clothing would need to be mainly sleepable. Goodbye business casual! Also people who hate getting dressed up fancy (ie me) would have their sacrifice properly appreciated since getting dressed up takes time and demonstrates commitment.

4. Movies would never go more than two hours without an intermission.

5. On the downside, studies have shown that one of the biggest perils to the health of a person in the hospital is the number of times staff changes over while they're there. More handoffs of patients does correlate with more medical errors. If you're handing off every two hours, or four hours at a push, either a bunch more people die, or medical communication has to be a lot better....

6. Which is actually an upside I guess. Probably extends to shift work too, like heavy construction and such.

7. Insomnia in this sort of situation must REALLY suck, though.

8. I suppose it would also suck for people who are Bad At Mornings, I've just vastly multiplied the number of mornings you have to deal with over the course of your life. If you live to the age of 80, you will have had about 29,000 mornings. If you had to sleep eight times a day, you would have like 230,000 mornings.

9. We would probably do something terrible to the ecology of Earth in order to grow enough coffee to deal with that.

10. Driving in traffic or taking long road trips might be logistically complicated. Most plane flights would need like four teams of pilots. Might lead to more mass transit, though.

11. Marathon running just got harder, but I know marathoners and they're all deep weirdos to start with so they'd probably embrace the challenge.

12. I get terrible bed head and would spend most of my time looking like I'd been dragged out of a tree.

I'm sure there are unknown horrors lurking in the idea, but I still like it. I bet all cats everywhere would appreciate it too.

[h2llish]

i've been following your blog for a while and absolutely adore your writing!

if its okay i'd love to see something with either leona or jamil (up to you!) and a reader who falls asleep on their shoulder during some sort of nrc road trip.. i'm not sure if nrc would have buses per say considering all the magic and stuff but the concept of an nrc school trip seems super interesting to me so if you're up for the request by all means just have fun with it!! i do notice that your requests are semi open so feel free to decline ofc !

— ☁️

⁀➷ ˖ ROAD TRIP DROWSINESS

notes ─── hi anon! i’m so happy you like my writing! i don't think they'd have buses at nrc because of the mirror, but crowley would probably spring a sudden road trip on them which would just confuse the students, because why? (i also imagine their bus would probably be a bit fancier? idk how to explain it but nothing like the busses i'm used to.)

LEONA KINGSCHOLAR ─── a wave of drowsiness leads you to find comfort on his shoulder ♡ fluff, gender neutral, can be read platonic or romantic, not proofread

transportation for students at nrc was not hard, all they had to do was enter the dark mirror and then they found themselves safely at their destination. so if it was that easy, why in the world was the headmage so adamant that they boarded this bus like they were kids back in middle school? ─ a road trip was his very (might many students say stupid) answer.

the only person who seemed to not have a problem with this sudden turn of events, was the magicless prefect from ramshackle. you didn't give any complaints or groan about using the easy way to get to the destination. you just nodded when the headmage announced the decision.

students were chosen at random, names drawn from a hat (a method the headmage seemed to rely on often).  and as the prefect, and the designated scapegoat for everything crowley did, you were of course among that group, with your dire beast other half. 

“i don't get it,” grim frowned, sitting on your shoulder as you approached the bus, where many familiar faces waited to board. “why can't we just use the mirror?”

ace was walking alongside you, being one of the people drawn to join the group. he had decided to met you at ramshackle, knowing you would inevitably have to board the bus as well. “i think the headmage called it some sort of bonding experience. don't know how a hours-long road will be a bonding experience.”

grim grumbled, turning his head to look at your face. you have yet to say anything to add to the conversation. “whaddya’ think, [name]?”

“what?” you blinked, sending a glance to the dire beast before looking ahead of you once more. “what do i think about what?”

“were you even listening to anything we just said?” ace sighed. 

you hummed, “i’ve learned to tune you guys out the moment you start speaking.” ─ and then you were wincing as the two of them shouted, leaning your head away from the monster as he and ace expressed how offended they were.

you sighed, this was going to be a long ride.

and right you were. 

things were okay (as okay as a group of irritable teenage boys with magic on a bus could be) during the first hour. but as the first hour turned to half, and you found yourself growing drowsy, you attempted to doze off, at least for a good twenty minutes. you were unsuccessful, as the moment you closed your eyes, you were quickly opening them to glance at a yelling grim.

epel and sebek, also being among the names drawn, were sitting next to you. epel and grim looked ready to pounce on an unnamed student who seemed to have picked a fight with them. ace didn't do much to stop the argument, in fact, he was actively encouraging it. and sebek, while he made an attempt to hold back a seething grim, was not of much help either. 

you sighed, but made no move to stop it ─ you expected something to happen eventually, and you weren't all that up to being the “reasonable” one of the group. you aren't sure what the argument was about, but neither did you care. if grim got in trouble for attacking a student, it would come back to bite you, but that was something for future you to worry about.

you glanced around the bus, before your attention landed on the savanaclaw housewarden sitting alone. ─ your friends continued to argue with the random guy, and you were sure they had no intention of ending the argument anytime soon. and you would rather sleep off some time on the road rather than listen to your friends go back and forth with someone you didn't even know the name of. you stood from your seat, uncaring of whether or not it was okay to do so as you approached the empty seat. 

leona had his head down, probably napping, the same thing you wanted to do. when you sat down beside him his ears twitched and he lifted his head to look at you, probably intending to scowl and scare off whoever had been stupid enough to sit beside him, until he realized it was you.

“what are you doing?” he frowned at you, but you went unfazed.

“sitting next to you, obviously.”

leona rolled his eyes, “why?”

instead of giving a verbal answer, you pointed at your friends, where sebek now had a grip on the scruff of grim’s neck, keeping him from jumping at the student. ace was laughing, offering no help to the half-fae. epel was no better than grim, with sebek’s arm held out in front of him, keeping him from doing anything.

"so you came to bother me instead?" he asked, and you looked at him straight-faced.

"yup."

leona sighed, but he didn't tell you to scram (not like you would if he did). he didn't say anything else, only close his eyes again and turning away, likely to try and nap. you weren't offended by his lack of reply, leaning your head back against the seat and trailing your eyes over the bus and your peers.

the longer you sat in somewhat silence ─ save for the incoherent yelling from your friends, you had for the most part zoned out, and the chatter of those on board ─ you found yourself falling to the drowsiness that have been interrupted before. you closed your eyes and let the movement of the bus guide you to sleep.

leona was awake, annoyed by the bus and those on the bus. his ears twitched when he heard your breathing slow beside him and he lifted his head, just as your head lolled to the side and you leaned against his shoulder.

he sighed, but made no move to push you off, glancing around you at the rest of the students of nrc, who were all either sleeping themselves, or chatting with friends. he leaned his head back, eyeing you as you shifted for a moment before relaxing again.

"where'd [name] go?" leona could hear your friends ask, no longer distracted by the argument that they were having with the random student.

he looked back at them, just in time to catch ace's eye, who was the first to see you sleeping against leona. he looked ready to say something, but leona narrowed his eyes on the first year. ace immediately shut his mouth, grinning awkwardly as he turned back to his friends.

leona huffed, looking back down at you to make sure you didn't stir. he adjusted in more comfortable position, an arm resting behind you on the seat, allowing you to lean closer, and hopefully, be more comfortable than leaning against his shoulder the way you had. and then he closed his eyes and joined you in a nap for the rest of the ride. (at least until they stopped for a break.)

this wasn't proofread so there will be probably be mistakes, i'll try to come back to edit later!

do not repost, translate, copy or run my writing through an ai

[sysmedsaresexist]

We're curious, since you apparently were anti-endo in the past Was there any specific event or conversation or experience that got you to start contemplating the idea you might have been wrong? I know you've mentioned talking to a buncha big name docs and going "okay I think I'm on the wrong side of this debate" but what got you to the point of even bringing it up with them in a genuinely open minded way? We think its an interesting topic for people who've escaped any kind of shithead mindset, not just anti-endo stuff, and so we're oft curious what pulls people out of those pits

This has been a loooonnggggg time coming.

I wish there was just one event that did it, if it was that simple I'd be putting everyone I come into contact with into that situation.

I spoke with Kymbra Clayton in early 2021 about her paper, Critiquing the Requirement of Oneness. It was on a bunch of, "proof endos exist," lists, and it didn't sit right with me. I was surprised to find that she wasn’t... quite anti endo, but she was upset that her work was being used to support them. Her paper was specifically about the shift in clinical circles from final fusion to functional multiplicity as a possible treatment goal. It sort of sent me deeper on the anti side, but it made me realize that, holy crap, I can talk to these people???

So I emailed Colin Ross later that year, desperate to prove someone else wrong, and despite numerous back and forth emails, he was completely pro endo. I never spoke about that conversation until I made my post about it... jeez, what, two weeks ago? What even is time.

But from there, I worked through other doctors, pro and anti, from both my personal, professional circles, and anyone else who would respond to inquiries about their work on whatever social media they were active on. Mostly, as therapists, they stressed the importance of understanding and kindness, regardless of personal beliefs.

I ended up helping a lot of endogenic systems learn about DID, and I realized that, wow, shocking, being nice facilitates conversation. As I got nicer, people were more willing to talk to me about their experiences. I saw how many people were really struggling and I realized that I wanted to help them more than I wanted to be right.

I got REALLY goddamn tired of hearing, "we don't have DID," and I realized I had to concede on that point. There was ZERO conversation to be had if I couldn't get my head around that. But if not DID, then what?

The more I heard, the more I shaped my own thoughts and understanding, the more I broadened my academic searches (wow, there's more terms to Google than just "DID trauma"), and the research was just overwhelming.

I wanted so badly to see the Stanford Tulpa studies fail that I actually started to enjoy the other work of the doctors involved (specifically Tanya Luhrmann, Michael Lifshitz is a little out there for me, but he sure is passionate). The more I read, the more I understood what they were hoping to accomplish and prove, and the more I saw ways that this kind of research can help people.

I don't agree with everything, but I'm still excited to see where it goes, and I realized it's okay to have mixed feelings and opinions, as long as I could be respectful about it.

I've been sneaking out endo safe content for about a year now, adding it on as the last tags. I've discussed at length about my changing beliefs. I'm shocked that no one noticed??

But I didn't actually change my stance publicly until the antis turned on me.

With this new round of antis from TikTok, they were posting stuff about DID that wasn't correct. At all. Some of it was disgustingly wrong. I tried to correct them, gave them pointers and resources to use, explained things they weren't understanding. I gave an amazing play by play of how @sophieinwonderland was going to tear their post apart, and managed to get it pretty damn close to what actually happened! That was fun.

And in return, they called me an endo and started an actual smear campaign against me.

(Hi, friendos, another reminder to get off my blogs and block me, please)

It was the straw that broke the back. I had held on the anti label specifically to be able to work within the anti community, but I was clearly not anti, these were clearly not my people, and they weren't interested in learning. Their actions and behaviour were beyond low. I wanted nothing to do with them.

But, I mean, I guess some people noticed my slow shift, because when I did reach out into the endo community just before I made my first Colin Ross post, they were quick to pull me in without question.

The acceptance and kindness that has been shown to me is... breathtaking. I can't think of a better word. The conversations that I've been having with people have been more interesting and beneficial than ever before.

Syscourse needs to involve actual conversation, and I've finally found that on the pro side.

TL;dr I wanted to prove endos wrong SO badly that I accidentally proved them right

[antebunny]

IRONY

(Or: my take on a post Red Robin Dick & Tim reconciliation. Because they love each other so much, and that's why it hurts).

-

Tim can admit, once an alert pops up on his computer and he immediately opens up the live feed of Dick’s kitchen, that there’s some cruel, bitter irony in what he’s doing. Also quite a few broken laws, and bent morals, and some icky stuff which he would not like Dick to find out about. Inserting surveillance cameras and trackers all over your loved one’s property, after all, is Bad Sibling Behavior. After so long spent trying to be a good sibling, Tim is hardly going to admit what he’s doing to anyone else.

Because he’s stalking Dick. 

Like a creepy little obsessed fan. Or a creepy villain-adjacent stalker. Like a ten-year-old Timmy Drake. He never thought he’d be doing it again as eighteen-year-old Tim Drake. Nonetheless, he stalks and tracks and surveils Dick from afar without ever talking to him. It’s like old times. Jason is even alive again. Except that instead of Tim stalking the Bats because he was a lonely little ten-year-old left to rot in a huge mansion with no concept of privacy or boundaries, he’s a less-lonely eighteen-year-old who knows far too much about Dick Grayson. Too much because far too much has gone down between them for Tim to just…talk to the guy. It’s impossible. Definitely impossible. 

Tim misses the days of late night ice creams, arms resting on his head or slung over his back, trading skateboard tricks for tumbling tricks. He aches for those days with a hunger he didn’t know was possible after a childhood spent starving for affection. 

But they can never go back.

Which is why Tim learns that Dick isn’t taking his meds because his surveillance equipment detected a change in behavior. Dick usually goes to his kitchen, breaks out orange juice or soda or some energy drink from the fridge, and takes his meds. Tonight he did not. Tim doesn’t know what the meds are for, he’s not that much of an invasive creep. It’s enough to know that Dick is getting treatment. And Tim doesn’t have to talk to Dick to find out how he’s doing. It’s enough to stalk him from afar to check on his well-being. 

Now the question is: what can Tim do about it? He can’t ask Dick himself. That’s obviously out of the question. Dick would listen to Damian, but the brat resents Tim’s very existence, so best not try that route. Dick would listen to Jason, but Red Hood barely tolerates Tim nowadays, and Tim isn’t interested in owing him a huge favor for something he really should do himself, so not him either. Dick would maybe, maybe listen to Bruce, but that’s hit-or-miss. 

Tim calls Barbara. 

“I need a favor,” he says as soon as she picks up. “Are you alone?”

“Yes,” Barbara replies, immediately business-like. “What’s up?”

Tim spins around in his swivel chair. Best purchase for his lair by far. “Not cape stuff, sort of, or imminently pressing, well, it’s pressing, I just needed to make sure no one’s listening in.”

“As sure as I can ever be,” Barbara confirms dryly. Answer: there’s always a chance, in the Bats’ paranoid minds, that someone is eavesdropping. But according to Oracle, she’s in the clear, and it really doesn’t get better than that.

“So, don’t ask me how I know this,” Tim prefaces, knowing she’s about to find out about his surveillance cameras in Dick’s apartment (if she hasn’t already), “but Dick didn’t take his meds last night. I don’t know what they are, so I dunno how bad it is that he skipped, and I don’t wanna pry into your, uh, relationship with him but–”

“Dick and I aren’t talking right now,” Barbara says flatly.

So, they’re in the off-again part of their on-again, off-again relationship. Most of the time Tim is rooting for them. Sometimes he thinks they should do what he and Steph did and settle into a best friends for life relationship. 

“Right.” On his next rotation, Tim catches himself on the edge of his table. He taps one hand on the clear surface and thinks of possibilities. “Do you think he would listen to B–”

“No.”

“Right.” Tim tries not to sigh and fails. “Okay, uh. Jason?”

“Jason can’t keep a secret.”

Which is sort of unfair to Jason, but keeping a secret is relative. Compared to Barbara and Tim, Jason can’t keep a secret. And Tim is not one to argue if someone’s making fun of Jason.

“Cass? No. Same problem.” 

It’s against her very nature to lie. If Cass does hold a secret, it is by accident. Tim doesn’t want to leave this up to chance. This was easier when they had Alfred to mediate. 

Tim starts spinning in his chair again. His room whirls past. “What about his friends? Kori or Wally or…literally any of them?”

“I don’t see,” Barbara says, “why you’re avoiding the obvious solution of asking him yourself. He’d listen to you.”

He’ll listen to you. What a heavy, crushing promise to make. You have the trust of Nightwing. Nightwing, admired by the entire superhero community. It’s true, maybe, probably. That Dick will listen to Tim. He’s mostly sure of that now, after everything. That’s the problem, really. The “after everything” part of Tim’s confidence. Their trust is not from years of steady partnership, or slowly developed siblinghood. The trust Tim has in Dick originates from months of silence, of terribly intimate understanding, of shared grief and one horrible, nausea-inducing day. 

Dick hates when people leave him and when people fall and he can’t catch them. People don’t usually leave Dick Grayson, but Tim left and then he fell and Dick caught him. So Dick will listen, probably, maybe, if only because he doesn’t want Tim to leave. And Tim can’t ask, knowing that they don’t have the nice, easy brotherhood they ought to, the companionship siblings should have. Knowing Dick is only listening because he wants to keep Tim around. That’s the sort of fake compassion Tim spent his life running from. It’s not empathy, it’s sympathy. 

A vicious little voice that sounds like Janet Drake tells Tim that he should shut up and suck it up and accept whatever Dick gives him, because he’ll never be worthy of anything more. Tim slams his head into walls to shut that voice up. He won’t accept it. He cannot. He must not. 

“You’re not talking to him, are you.” Barbara’s voice has a tinge of that shaking-your-head condescension that drives Tim up the walls. The tone that carries that undercurrent of, why are you making this so hard, Tim? As if it’s so easy. As if everything that fractured Tim and Dick’s relationship is so easily repairable. 

Of course, Tim can’t explain that to Barbara. It sounds pathetic, even to himself.

“Bold words, coming from you,” Tim retorts.

Barbara sighs. “Look. At this point Damian has the best communication with Dick. And unless you have a way of tricking Damian into–huh.”

Tim, whose manipulative, stalkery little brain went in the exact same direction as hers, echoes her exclamation. “Oh. Yeah. Hm. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Unfortunately,” Barbara says, voice dry as the desert Tim was reborn in, “yes.”

The Belfry, a secret headquarters perfectly unobtrusive in Gotham’s old gothic and industrial skyline, was built by Tim and Barbara shortly after Bruce’s return. Since it’s so much newer than the Clock Tower, its inhabitants are not yet established. Where the Clock Tower houses the Birds of Prey, and Barbara’s friends in general, the Belfry sees a small but wide-ranging group of heroes coming in and out. Dick, Cass and Steph are the only other Bats to be allowed in.

Tonight, a little eleven-year-old boy crouches in the welcome darkness of one of the many nooks and crannies, dagger in his hands, and pretends with all his might that he belongs. 

“…at least wrap it,” Barbara is saying as she disengages the many, many security systems and enters the many passwords to get into the Belfry. 

“What’s the point?” Tim argues. “It’s not like–”

Both he and Barbara freeze. Tim raises a hand slowly to his belt. Barbara fingers one of the many buttons on her wheelchair. He gestures her to the left. They’re caught in front of the huge floor-to-ceiling windows. With ceilings as high as a warehouse (it’s a bell tower, after all), those windows are high indeed. 

And then–

“Oracle. Red.” Damian emerges from the darkness like the little gremlin that he is, chin held high in his Robin uniform while he omits the Robin part of Tim’s new superhero name. “I have been here long enough that I could’ve killed both of you. How careless of you to not notice.”

Translation: Damian had been hoping to go unnoticed for longer.

“Here, where you most definitely do not have access,” Barbara points out. She wheels closer now that they know it’s just Robin.

Tim, while Damian is distracted with Barbara, sidles over to a table as stealthily as he knows how and sets down his package. 

“Clearly, your security standards are in need of upgrading,” Damian sniffs. Then his eyes narrow as he notices what Tim is doing. “Drake. What is that package.”

“None of your business,” Tim snaps back immediately. He moves to cover it with his back. “Get out of here. Invites only, you weren’t invited, you know how it is.”

Damian folds his hands behind his back and raises his nose. “It is for Grayson.”

“For Christ’s–how did you know?” Barbara demands.

“You just confirmed it,” Damian replies smugly.

Barbara rolls her eyes. “Okay. Fine. It’s for Dick. Happy now?”

“No.” Damian marches up to Tim, then folds his arms, dagger and all, over his chest when Tim blocks his path to the package. “Tell me what you are giving to Grayson.”

Tim leans back against the table and folds his own arms over his chest, affecting a casual state of relaxation he absolutely does not feel. “I said, none of your business.” 

In truth, there’s something so heart-breakingly ten-years-old about Damian’s behavior. His cool older brother is part of a cool group of friends with a secret hideout that Damian is not allowed into. Of course he broke into it. Damian, under all his bluster and bravado, wants to be a part of it all. He’s only human. He’s only eleven years old.

“You may be poisoning him,” Damian insists.

Tim laughs. “That’s more your wheelhouse, isn’t it?”

Seems like Damian hasn’t yet heard the saying your wheelhouse, because he scowls but doesn’t respond. Oddly enough, Tim feels worse about that than he does about the actual insult. Kids are not their parents or the secret assassin society they come from, he knows, he knows this. Yet this intellectual knowledge always flies out the window in favor of emotional responses when it comes to Damian. 

“It’s not,” Barbara interrupts, before they can come to blows. “It’s just something to make him feel better, since he stopped taking his meds. Now will you leave?”

Damian scowls again, this time resembling an angry kitten more than a fearsome assassin. Not that he ever has resembled a fearsome assassin, despite all the assassination attempts. For all the pent-up resentment and bitter anger Tim has about Damian, he can’t help but find the kid a little cute. 

(The thing is, back before everything, Tim really wanted a little sibling. Back before everything, Tim used to dream about Jason coming back).

(Isn’t it funny how the universe keeps giving Tim what he wants just to spite him?)

“Fine.” Damian glares at both of them in turn. “Since both of you are so incompetent in taking care of Grayson, I will do it.” 

And he sweeps out of the Belfry with all the righteous fury that an eleven-year-old can muster. 

Tim and Barbara finally make eye contact after Barbara ensures, using the Belfry’s surveillance cameras, that Damian has exited the building for good. Then they both burst into laughter. The rafters ring with the force of it, pealing like the bells on Sunday morning. Barbara slaps her knee. Tim leans back on the table, hands clasped over his stomach, and shakes.

“I can’t believe,” Barbara says, once she’s calmed down enough to get a proper sentence out, “that we just tricked a kid into doing our dirty work for us.”

“Hey, if it works,” Tim says, voice full of mirth. 

He easily identifies himself as an adult despite only recently turning eighteen. It is impossible to feel like a child, he reasons, after waking up in the desert. After running Wayne Industries, however briefly. After striking out on his own. After everything.

Perhaps that’s why he gets along so well with Barbara these days. She understands that he is not a kid anymore, even if she wasn’t there for everything. Dick, on the other hand, still sees Tim as the kid he was. (As Robin). As the Before Everything Tim Drake that the real Tim is getting so very tired of thinking about. So what if he misses all of it, the good and the ugly? That’s just the nostalgia speaking. That’s just part of growing up. Tim had to grow up fast, so he did. He did what he had to do and he won’t let himself regret it.

[mixelation]

i'm rereading the reborn au snippets and the ABNU stuff is so funny. Does the mission with Kakashi go off the rails? Or is Tori completely normal the whole time while Kakashi warily follows her around waiting for the shoe to drop? (I think it would be funny if she was completely normal for ONE mission and it lures them into a false sense of security and the next mission is bonkers) Does Tori ever get temp agented with Itachi? How does that go? Love your writing!!!

oh man i never decided how i want the mission itself to go. i do want late-teens tori to be pretty competent at ninja-ing (especially something she was hand-chosen to do!!), so i think the actual mission goes fine? but for providing conflict, maybe one or both of the following happen:

there's some sort of normal-ish mission hiccup and tori does something insane to fix it, perhaps at the cost of ignoring orders. then when kakashi tries to explain she can't do that in ANBU, tori is just like "but i fixed it, didn't i?"

the mission goes TOO well so the other two teammates are grumpy like "did we even need to waste our time babysitting a temp?" and kakashi waits politely for tori to be like "yes you did, i only made that look easy because i'm soooo awesome" but she DOESN'T and kakashi is like. hmm yes i see why you keep getting mistaken for a secretary

as for itachi..... i both think sticking her on his team would make for interesting character exploration but also maybe end with everyone dead. i'm not sure.

kakashi, stressed because what if this ends book club: but what are you going to do when she inevitably ignores orders?

itachi: ? why would she disobey orders?

kakashi: have you met her

itachi: i suppose there are a few key areas where tori has more expertise than me. in that case, i would defer to her calls

kakashi:

kakashi: so they ARE in love...............

[collapsedglasshouses]

HEAVEN KNOWS I AIN'T GETTING OVER YOU || Joakim Karlsson x fem!Reader

picture found on pinterest

PAIRING: ex-husband!Jolly x fem!reader

SUMMARY: When Jolly visits you unannounced on a Tuesday night, you have no idea what it leads to.

WARNINGS: SMUT [oral sex, female receiving; unprotected p in v], possessive!jolly, ANGST, jolly and reader have a daughter together (y/d/n), MDNI, 18+

TAGLIST: @measuredingold @cncohshit @circle-with-me @jilliemiw86 @justeli6 (If you wanna be added to the story's taglist or to my taglist in general, leave a comment or message me privately!)

A/N: i wrote this in one sitting and i'm so proud of it that i can't hide it for one second longer. i hope you like it! also this isn't proofread, im very sorry ._.

MASTERLIST

[y/d/n = your daughter’s name]

You thought the hardest thing you had ever done in your entire life was the process of deciding to file for divorce from your ex-husband Jolly, but he had proven you wrong. It was that he had signed the papers without an argument or fight. He had just done it.

It had stung, how he came back from a long tour, saw the papers laying on the kitchen counter and just signed them. It hurt but you also knew it was for the best. That he didn’t fight with you was hard, but it also made it in some ironic way easier.

Since you had a daughter together, he came over only on the weekends when he was home from touring and normally, he’d only pick up your daughter and leave again; not really much conversation going on between you except the necessary small talk. He was a good father and human after all, and you were glad for that.

After some time, routine came back and somewhat everything began to feel normal again. You began to date again, and Jolly seemed to live his life to the fullest. You were happy for him.

That changed when your doorbell rang on a Tuesday evening. You were sitting on the couch watching TV when you heard the sound and for the first couple of seconds you thought about not opening the door. After all, it was almost 8 PM and you were kind of scared there would be someone trying to break in or hurt you, but when it rang again you became curious.

“Joakim?” You asked surprised when you saw him standing there.

“Is it true?” He just asked and looked you dead in the eye.

“What?” You answered him confused. He looked like he hadn’t slept properly since he brought back your daughter two days ago.

“On the weekend, y/d/n said you were seeing someone.” He asked, his tone careful, yet you could sense some sort of hurt in his voice.

“Do you maybe wanna come in before you confront me about stuff that hasn’t got anything to do with you?” You grumbled at him in a sarcastic tone, which he ignored while stepping into the place you once called home together.

He walked into the living room, followed by you. There he crossed his arms in front of your chest and looked at you, disappointed.

“What do you want to here, Joakim? I don’t remember that we agreed to be abstinent for the rest of our lives.” You snarled at him and mirrored is gesture.

“Don’t you think it still hurts that I hear that from our daughter instead of you?” He responded in the same tone.

“I don’t know why you suddenly seemed to care.” You grumbled. “Since you didn’t show any interest in me for… how long is it now? One and a half years?”

“You didn’t even let me explain myself and threw the divorce papers at me. How do you think I feel?” He angrily expressed.

“I don’t even need to tell you this, but there is no other guy. I went on two dates. TWO dates, Jolly.” You answered him while ignoring how his statement stung. You knew it had been egoistic of you, but the months before the divorce, he either wasn’t at home or when he was, he didn’t even look at you. You felt unimportant, unloved, neglected. And now he was throwing around these statements. You wished he had done it earlier. You wished he would have opened up to you. The fact that he only did it because he saw the potential danger of another person in your life, hurt you so much.

Jolly took a deep breath. “I feel like we never even talked about this whole separation.”

“You were the one who didn’t ask when I handed you the papers, Joakim.” You said, your tone a lot calmer than it had been before but you still were angry. You were glad that your daughter was having a sleepover at a friend's house that night, otherwise she would have already been downstairs.

When Jolly didn’t say anything for another solid minute, you sighed.

“Don’t you think it is a bit too late to talk now?” You mumbled defeated and ran a hand through your hair. “I hope you know that I didn’t do that to hurt you. We both know it would have ended way uglier if we dragged it out longer than it already had been.”

You saw how Jolly swallowed hard.

“You know I still love you?” He almost whispered and let his hands fall to his sides. When you looked at him like that, he almost looked broken… defeated. For the first time since what felt like ages, you felt like he let his guard down. Like he wasn’t trying to hide his feelings away.

“I know, Jolly.” You answered him. “And I also know that a part of me still loves you and always will, but we both know that this isn’t going to work. At least not like this.”

He slowly took a step towards you, carefully watching your reaction. When you didn’t look reluctant or took a step back, he reached for your hand and grabbed it.

“I am so sorry that all of this happened. I thought about everything that had happened. Long before the divorce. I know how cruel I was to leave you in the dark. To not talk to you when I needed nothing but your comfort. I thought that I would get through everything by myself.” He told you with honesty in his voice.

“You didn’t have to go through everything alone. That is what a marriage is for, Jolly. I would have been more than happy to help you. I still am if you need me.” You whispered out and looked into the eyes of the man you had and still loved so dearly, and you felt how your heart hurt.

“I always need you, y/n. I need you so bad.” Jolly responded and you saw how his eyes became glossy. Without even thinking you wrapped your arms around his torso and hugged him tightly. You felt how tears started to form in your eyes and it broke your heart when you heard him sniffle for a second.

When you leaned back to look at him, there was this foolish hope in your heart. The hope that you would be able to find back to each other. But your brain knew, even if you did eventually manage to do that, now was not the right time for it.

“Can I kiss you?” Jolly asked and you felt warmth form in your stomach. You knew you should have said no. You knew you should have been strong, but you still nodded.

Your lips met with a ferocity born from years of unspoken words and yearning. The taste of his mouth a bittersweet reminder of everything you had lost.

It felt like you kissed for an eternity and still, when you pulled away, it felt like it wasn’t long enough. You missed him. You missed everything about him, from his small jokes to the way it felt when you fell asleep next to him. He was what made this house a home.

“We shouldn’t.” You whispered against his lips, and he nodded. Before he could even think about letting you go, you pressed your lips against his for a second kiss. This one being much more eager than the previous one.

Slowly but surely, you stumbled towards the couch and soon you were laying under him, lips still connected as if life depended on it. His tongue slipped into your mouth, and you couldn’t help but sigh into the kiss.

It didn’t take long until his fingers curled into the waistband of your shorts and panties. For a second, he leaned back to look for consent in your eyes. When you eagerly nodded, he tugged them down your legs.

He kissed you deeply before lowering himself down your body. You shivered when you felt his breath against your core and not even a second later you felt his warm tongue sliding through your folds. He drew skillful circles around your clit. A wave of warmth washed over you as you moaned out his name and it felt so wrong and so right at the same time. You had missed him so much.

Your hand reached for his and he was quick to intertwine your fingers. Your nails pressed into the skin on his hand as your back arched in pleasure.

“Tell me you’re mine.” He pleaded as he raised his head for a second to look at you through his lashed and you felt like you could come on the spot.

“I’m yours, Joakim. I always will be.” You whimpered out and it was all he needed to hear as his head lowered again.

It didn’t take long for you to feel the waves of your orgasm washing over you, as you screamed out his name. Your vision blurred for a second as you came on his tongue. He kissed the inside of your thighs until you slowly came down from your high, before he came up to look at you again.

You grabbed his face and kissed him with such force, he feared to collapsed right on the spot. You could taste yourself on his tongue and the feeling of the fabric of his jeans against your naked cunt made you shiver in overstimulation.

In a swift motion, he turned you on your stomach and you heard how he unzipped his pants. The next thing you felt was hot kisses pressed to the back of your neck and you sighed in need. You needed to feel him, even if it was the last time.

“Do you have a condom?” He groaned into your ear.

“You don’t need one, Joakim. I’m clean and on the pill.” – “Got it.”

You clenched your fists into the fabric of the couch as you felt him enter you. A delicate burn formed inside of you as he stretched your walls. He was gentle but still you let out a small yelp as he bottomed out in one stroke. The small groan that escaped from Jolly’s lips, let you clench around him for a moment.

“God.” He moaned. “I wish I could stay inside of you forever.”

You moaned as a response.

“I’ll make you mine, even if it’s the last time.” He groaned as he slung an arm around your torso, making you slightly sit on him as he thrusted into you.

“I’ll be yours.” You whimpered and reached behind you to grab onto his hair. You moved in a rhythm as you felt the knot tighten in your stomach for a second time. One of Jolly’s hands travelled between your thighs and began to rub small circles on your wet clit.

“God, Jolly. I’m gonna come.” You almost screamed out.

“I’ve got you.” He breathed out as you felt the intense sensation of your second orgasm rolling over you. You felt how your body slowly lost strength, but you held yourself together for him.

You fell forward, leaning on your elbows as his hands grabbed your hips. Shortly after that you felt how he was twitching inside of you and he let out a loud groan as he finished inside of you, his cum filling you up until it began to drip. He grabbed the armrest of the couch in front of you to not let his weight drop on you as he mumbled out small love confessions.

For a couple of moments, neither of you dared to move. He peppered your shoulder with small kisses while you both tried to tame your breaths. Even though, you both didn’t want to, he eventually pulled out of you and got up, as you slowly laid down on your back.

After a minute or so he reappeared with a washcloth and gently cleaned you up, before helping you up from the couch and to the bathroom to go to the toilet.

After you finished and came back to the living room, he handed you your clothes and you both got fully dressed again, before looking at each other in awkward silence.

You knew what he was going to say, before he could even finish.

“Maybe, I should-…” – “Stay.”

He blinked a couple of times as his eyes lit up.

“Y/d/n isn’t coming back until tomorrow after school. You can stay.” You almost whispered and hoped he wouldn’t leave you in that state. “I want you to stay.”

“Okay.” He muttered and nodded slightly. “I will.”

As the two of you sat down on the couch, a wave of guilt washed over you. This was a forbidden taste of the past that only solidified the painful truth. You were bound by a love that could never be, at least not now…

dividers by @saradika-graphics

[satureja13]

Have I ever told you how much I like these crime games? Some of you might know how much I struggle to keep up with something due to my ADHD (a glorious exception are the Boys ^^') But I was able to finish this book for my games/current case! I haven't been able to craft a bigger project for a while so I'm very proud of myself lol and I thought I show you.

I can reuse this book over and over again for new cases and it's made out of stuff I already had at home: amazon packaging, printouts, envelopes, tea dyed paper, wallpaper, a belt, the lock is from an old suitcase I found, paperclips, stamps, fabric and the metal book corners are made from a tomato paste tube...

These games come with a bunch of documents and I like that I can sort them now and that I'm able to find them quickly instead of having them in a heap. It takes me a few days or even weeks (when I get distracted by someting else ^^') and with this book I can put everything quickly away and return as quick to my research again.

I also made little writing pads and a notebook. The most fun I had with the paperclips. You can make them so quickly and they are so pretty and useful (I use them as tabs and to keep the documents in place)! Just fold a strip of paper in a 'w' shape, glue the metal paperclip inside and decorate. Ready! If you are interested in doing sth like this, don't hesitate to ask, I'm happy to help and share links to to the amazing youtubers I learned from!

I came into crafting only late in my life and I have so much fun. I wish I discovered the joy of it earlier but I never thought it could be something for me. Art class in school was so discouraging and I always thought I don't have the patience/talent for it. Then I went into rehab and we crafted and I kept on crafting ever since ^^' (Maybe you remember when I posted about my tarot book I made a new cover for or my amazing tool case I posted a while ago?)

The box in the pic below is a chocolate packaging I glued some tea dyed paper on :3

I also made a little booklet:

Did you know that you can make tape out of almost everything by using doublesided tape? Here I used old book pages. The dangles are made from cardboard and napkins :3

That was a fun little project and it's also a nice gift. I printed out the AI edits from my Mount Komorebi screenshots to decorate the pages. When you look close you can see Kiyoshi and Kiri in the pic on the left.

[epiphainie]

I completely agree with you in that there are many bad faith interpretations of tommy and buck and tommy’s relationship. I don’t know if this one I’m about to share would necessarily be a bad faith interpretation but I’d like your take on it. In the scene where buck comes out to eddie, eddie says to buck “this changes nothing between us” and buck responds with something along the lines of “uh good, that’s a relief”. I’ve seen a lot of people interpret buck’s facial expressions as not showing just relief but relief mixed disappointment because a part of buck wanted things to change between them, in the romantic sense, he just doesn’t realize it. I do agree that buck’s expression as he says the words is interesting but I don’t personally think it has anything to do with him harbouring romantic feelings for eddie. for me it felt like one of those moments where you dread the reaction for so long, that when you finally face the thing and open up, even if the other person’s reaction is positive, it takes a minute for you to really internalise it and let yourself believe it.

Another moment that people often talk about from this scene is reaction to buck saying he can’t stop thinking about tommy. People often say eddie’s facial expression shows some sort of disappointment but again, I don’t know if that’s it? again, it is an interesting expression so I get why people would pause and focus for a minute but to me, it reads as eddie searching for a moment to give his honest advice to buck in the scenario.

Anyway, I’d love your thoughts on those particular moments and how you see them. Again, I’m not saying that the interpretations people are making of that scene in relation to buddie are necessarily in bad faith. I know it’s fun to analyze and interpret scenes in ways that you enjoy and I’d never want people to stop doing that. I just feel like Oliver and Tim have been very clear in that they do not want to tell a story where a guy comes out and is in love with his best friend and if buck was truly disappointed in hearing eddie say nothing’s going to change between them post buck’s coming out, that would be a quite bold contradiction.

Hi anon!

I'm not sure if you actually meant to send this to me because I'm kind of the exact opposite of a person who engages in the practice of reverse-engineering actors' faces to find deep secret meanings that doesn't actually exist in the script. I think it's a slippery slop of a fan practice where if you go "haha he looks jealous here" and want to make it gay in your fantasy world and are capable of compartmentalizing that from the actual text, it's great! If you look at it like it's subtext that is meant to one day come to surface, as some sort of proof that this is not the actual story, you're either too deep in your world that you treat these characters like they have agencies and thoughts and feelings and are not, yknow, fictional - or that actors are making the conscious choice to layer their performances with breadcrumbs for a plot that doesn't exist at the time.

I've seen all these arguments with almost every scene this season. Eddie's face when Tommy enters the bachelor party. Buck's face when Bobby says Tommy is good for him. Bobby's face when he says Tommy is good for Buck. Eddie's smile when they enter the hospital room. Most of these are insignificant and the others have in-text explanation (Yeah, Bobby smiles weirdly in that scene. Guess what, he's kind of planning to kill himself). And like I said, if people want to read these in a pro-Buddie sense and go do fandom stuff with it, that's great. But we all know this fandom is taken over by the question of "will Buck and Eddie happen?" so everyone who's not even doing this in bad faith (I don't think all do) are looking at it in "does this support canon romantic Buddie?" lenses. So much of shipping Buddie is about speculating for the next episode, next season, next whatever that I think it's so easy to find yourself on that slippery slop where you fit every shot, face, editing choice to your interpretation. There's also the sunk cost fallacy at play here - once you do it for so long, it's hard to give up on the belief that it'll happen.

I think both Oliver and Ryan great actors - and that scene is one of my favorites in the season - but no, I don't think there's more to their faces than what they're given to play. Which is as all of them mentioned a billion times, a scene of a guy nervously coming out as queer to his best friend and receiving support. If I'm wrong and the rest of this fandom is right and the production/writers/showrunners are actually fully married to the idea of canon romantic Buddie but The Powers That Be are keeping gay Eddie in the closet as if he's a real person and they're the evil step-mother, and come S10 Buck realizes he's been in love with his bff all along, then yeah in-text, that would recontextualize all their performances. It still wouldn't change what the writers' intention has been with the text as it exists today or be proof that Oliver and Ryan are making acting choices for a hypothetical future SL.

[onlyancunin]

Little update again for anyone interested, bc I'm overflown with emotions.

Ok, so I did it.

In a single week, found a new place, packed my things (or at least the majority, some stuff is still waiting to be sorted and transported) and moved in to my condo.

I hurt my knee again and walk on crutch, my hands are so sore I barely slept this night and I had approximately 27 nervous breakdowns in the past two days, but I'm here, I'm queer and I'm ready to do some Astarion fan art now that nobody lurks over my shoulder in attempt to be controlling.

And jesus. I woke up today with my body absolutely useless after what I put it through while packing, and yet so... Serene? I literally cried out of exhaustion, relief, gratitude and what not.

And to think just 3 months ago I was deeply suicidal and drinking like crazy to cope. Always either with headphones or with earplugs to soothe my nerves and keep myself together, barely present in my own life and resenting it and myself. But here? I enjoy the silence or even occasional sound of my neighbors being present. I unpacked yesterday for hours without the need to overwhelm my brain with podcasts just to stop it from spiraling out. Because it didn't want to spiral out, I was at peace despite cursing a few times bc I'm a dumbass and forgot idle pc needs some activity to wake it up and I thought it got damaged while transporting 🤠

Thank you @herdarkestnightelegance , who supported me through the whole process and was there for me to pick me up and help me to keep going. The best thing that came out of this entire thing is your friendship. It's so nice to know someone cares enough to be happy for you. This is a gift, you know. I won't forget it.

And thank you everyone for your words of support and care, every single one. After months of being isolated and numb it's nice to see the world still wants me here.

Gosh I think I need to cry some more, a nice little emotional workout before work.

Have a great Monday everyone! 🖤

[igglemouse]

Another morning at Pascal's as it is becoming a bit of a habit. I would say I've moved in here but I still have things left over at my house so technically, I have not.

I'm ready to move forward with my life and I'm starting to think that Pascal is part of this new life that I'm building here in Oasis Springs but my old life slips back into the picture this morning in the form of a text from Simon.

He's apologizing for what happened although I don't think he needs to. It is clear to me now that what we shared last time was closure and perhaps its best left that way. Right now, I don't want to see him again. It's only going to complicate things.

Right as I put away my phone there is Pascal, greeting me as the day begins and already with a luster of a morning workout to his skin. He plays the role of a gentleman and kisses my hands, a little unexpected but welcomed all the same. I apologize to him about staying over another night and start to tell him that I'll head back home but he's not too interested in that idea.

"I don't mind," he tells me, I guess he's enjoyed having me over as much as I've enjoyed staying.

"I can head back later today if-"

"No no, please stay!" He says. "I won't be around much today because I have some team stuff I need to do but...seeing you here and about makes things a lot better."

"Perhaps I am your good luck charm then?"

"You just might be!"

So I guess I'm staying around? I figure I may as well make some ice cream with it being summer and all and summer in Oasis Springs so it really is the perfect time for it.

Pascal was right that he wasn't sticking around for long as he goes off to work out or do something with his team. Practice? Training? Is there a difference? I really should learn more about his career and maybe go see one of his games but for today, for right now, I'm going to enjoy warmth of the day in Pascal's pool...Pascal's kiddie pool!

I don't know if you've ever lived in an area of the world where the summers can be scorching but there are some days where it really just feels good. The heat is more like the passion of the sun, bringing energy to a day and just positive vibes over all and I'm immediately thinking of heading to a more public pool later this week and enjoying the summer to the fullest.

Overall, things have gone pretty well for me. No, actually, extremely well. Moving to Oasis Springs has been the best decision of my life and how could I say otherwise when I'm lounging around in a kiddie pool and tossing a rubber duckie around?

The only downside to any kind of heat is sweat, heat is heat and skin is skin so the first thing I do when I get back inside is slip inside of the shower.

Turning the knobs until the water is just right and welcoming it gave me the idea that I really should have one of these back home. Baths are nice, it's great to be able to soak every now and then, but nothing is quite like having a warm quick shower as they can be physically and mentally refreshing. I'll make a note that I'll have to get one of these myself.

Just as I finish washing up and just as I'm looking for a towel Pascal steps in and just the smell of him tells me exactly what he's here for. He smells like a man that just spent the day kicking a ball around the field. "Ummm, I was just finishing up-"

"Oh?" He takes a moment to take me in, his appetite for me clear. "Maybe we should take one together. I'm so sore and I can never reach my back and-"

"I know exactly what you mean..."

You can guess what happens from there.

After two 'showers' and the second one being more of a workout I realize I have just enough time in the day to open my stand and see how many simoleons I can bring in.

I'm sort of making the park my spot since, well, there's more people here and also no one has complained about it yet so why not? Why would anyone complain as well? I'm offering a valuable service for the community!

I don't think this is stopping anytime soon as well because now that Ray will apologize (video to come later he assures) people are coming back to my stand. Hopefully, it's only up from here.

And the day does go well, well enough to give me hope that the thing with Ray will eventually pass. Sure, I will have to earn trust back but most see him as an outsider whose opinion isn't worth much.

Just as I'm ready to close I'm greeted by one more customer. I'm ready to turn her away and tell her to come back tomorrow but she makes a comment on the salad that gives me pause.

"Strawberry Kiwi huh? Those strawberries are so sweet I can smell them from here! Where do you get them from?"

"The local grocer ummm..."

And after that she's asking all about my food, making it clear that there is a shared passion here, and maybe the potential for another friend? Time will tell...

Elsewhere, a man with ambitions so large that they barely fit in his head, planned. Alceo Giusto was a conductor and one who was willing to do anything to have the world move to his whims and his wishes but oh it was so very difficult to make the free give up their will. Especially with the seemingly ineptness of those who followed him. He stared at some piece of art, unsure of what it meant, uncaring of its value, thinking only of his disappointment.

"I am sorry, my Lord, but the woman I considered seems to be in a relationship-"

"You said she just moved here?"

"Y-yes, but it is no surprise that someone has started to court her. I-I did invite her but she politely turned me down."

"Yes..." Alceo said, the word dragging out as that was also another disappointment. He needed more and he needed it now. Frida might not have worked for the sacrifice, not if she was being 'fulfilled' as he put it, but to take a young woman like that and transform her, bring her to a higher purpose, that would be beautiful. It was why the Matlock Society existed, after all. "I might be sending you to Windenberg."

"Yes my Lord," Danielle says because there was never anything else to say to Alceo. Bad things happened when you disobeyed him. Very bad things.

"It was my intention to make the sacrifice this summer so that I could capture Gracelyn before the year ends but I suppose our plans will have to change," the sadness in his voice filled the room. How terrible? How utterly terrible was this? His tone seemed to say, as if some grand tragedy had befallen the world and it was all Danielle's fault.

Danielle, humbled, upset that she had upset her Master so, scrambled for an alternative because to find another like Frida could take years. "Y-you could win her over the traditional way, my lord-"

"Nonsense," Alceo shut that down at once. After all, doing that would give him no control over Gracelyn and he was a man that expected control over all things, especially things he planned on keeping close to him. "Her father would have said the same, you know? He would have arranged this marriage, you know, but..." Gracelyn's parents were killed. Murdered. The magical world, in Alceo's opinion, had lost its way then when it decided to execute the two most powerful spellcasters in the world.

"My lord, what about the aliens?"

"The what?" He scoffed, needing her to repeat that question so that he could understand its absurdity. Hopefully she didn't bring them up again.

"I-I was told that a pair of Sixams landed in Evergreen and-"

"Who cares? I wouldn't worry about an entire army of those silly creatures, much less two..."

"Y-yes, my lord, of course..." but Danielle wasn't so sure. After all, she had seen the Sixam's 'silly' civil war tear entire solar systems apart and she hoped it wasn't coming here as well. For now Alceo was right, their focus should be on Gracelyn, the only person in the world with Matlock blood running through them...

Episode List - Next

[olderthannetfic]

https://olderthannetfic.tumblr.com/post/752017478391037952/while-i-fucking-hate-dnis-im-pretty-sure-that#notes

yeah, i can agree that minors DNI could be for ass-covering if some minors lie about their age. I remember being really freaked out once years ago when i was doing some roleplaying in a group of characters from an anime (where we each had a particular character we played) and some of my RPs were sexually-explicit, and finding out a few weeks into this that someone playing a different character (who thankfully wasn't involved in the sex stuff, but was liking and commenting on those posts) was 13 and had lied to us about their age. Like I also used to be a teen and I get why some of them want to lie about their ages and think it's unfair that they aren't considered mature enough for that sort of thing, but a lot of why adults don't want to interact with minors doing that sort of thing is simply covering their own asses if it ever gets back to them. Making a big show about not wanting minors around can feel like an attempt to cover your ass, even knowing a lot of minors won't listen.

(Also, this is something that is hard to understand when you yourself are a teenager but.... some of it's also just that when you're in your 20s and 30s and so on, a 13-yro is just in such a different stage of life from you that you're not sure what you'd have much in common with to begin with - and that doesn't matter when it's just someone passively reading your blog, but matters to me when it comes to the kind of interaction involved with RPing or building a friendship or something like that. Also like I can both respect that teens are curious about and interested in sex and I think they should have access to things to explore their curiosity like I did, and also get the heebie jeebies about doing sexual roleplay with someone who I think of as a child. Like I couldn't care less if teens are reading my E-rated fanfics, it's the "active" part of roleplaying that squicks me out if you know what I mean)

--

[hazbinfallinginaspiral]

So this might be an odd one, but I cannot stop thinking about it, so here you go. How would the celebrity characters (Vox, Velvette, Charlie, Lucifer, Angel Dust, maybe Alastor and Valentino) fare on a show like Hot Ones? (Explanation below if you're not familiar. It's on YouTube too if you're interested.)

It's basically an interview show where the guests and the host eat chicken wings with 10 progressively hotter hot sauces. Typically, guests descend into various flavors of mania as the sauces get hotter.

Vox would act nonchalant but be out fairly quickly. He likes spicy food but his processors aren’t built to handle so much at one time, especially if it’s only getting worse. He’d likely glitch and spark before crashing.

- “Hot? What, I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m fine. Tastes great! What do you mean I’m glitching out-”

Velvette wouldn’t even comment on the spice- try asking her questions and she’ll insult your clothing choice. She’s taking it slow and identifying every nuance of the flavor of each sauce before moving on, just to be petty because she likely didn’t want to be there. I think she’d get to number seven?

- “Mm, yes. It has a bit of a savory feel to it, doesn’t it? Really brings out the hints of desperation, sadness, and a profound taste of time wasting. Are we done here?”

Charlie, incredibly nervous. Out at around 3 or 4, eating any piece of bread she can find, probably crying. She’s dramatic but she’s trying.

- “Hoolllyyy shit- fuck, hold on, I am so sorry- gah! Why is my mouth on fire? Water, I need water! Oh shit that made things worse! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I NEED- YOU ALREADY HAD ALL THE BREAD AND MILK? I’m doomed. I’ll die to a hot sauce challenge. Check my will, I’m giving everything to Vaggie, Razzle and Dazzle.”

Lucifer, like Vox, would act nonchalant. Except he’s good at it. He’s been around since forever, and he’s likely had plenty of chances to get used to all sorts of food. He’d look at the bottle, take note of how it was made, how long the company has been around for, and dive into a short but sweet lecture on the history of the company, most popular flavors, etc. he’s probably pulling half of it out of his ass, in an attempt to impress Hell or look like a cool dad for his little girl. He’d be out of the game between 6 and 8.

- “Oh yes this is a family recipe! Can’t say I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting a living member of said family, but I know it’s made with both love and care. Yeah, I know! John is such a good man, and his wife? Makes the best chicken buffalo casserole you’ll ever have. The sauce isn’t particularly spicy, but the dedication and history behind it, the love this family holds for eachother, is really what brings tears to my eyes.”

Angel Dust is an immediate lose. He’s charismatic but absolutely unhinged, he probably doesn’t follow the rules. Asks if he can mix the sauces, then ends up chugging the whole bottle (number 2) for ten dollars. He does it, gets his money, and is disqualified immediately after. Insults everyone’s sense of style, their boring topics of conversation, etc.

- “Enough about the sauce, tell me, hot stuff, do you have someone waiting for you at home? Cus I’d sure like to sample this hunk of meat…”

Alastor is completely unphased by the sauce but extremely irritable. He finds it all completely abominable. From the cameras and the picture boxes it’d be seen on to the sheer disappointment and lack of spice in the sauce. He’d asked if the wings are even seasoned, when everything was made, how fresh it is, etc. He glitches out the footage so he can’t be scene and the host (or hells equivalent- look, I headcanon it’d be Tom trench just for the shits and giggles) is pissed at him for it. He makes it to 9 before he ends up killing someone and getting kicked off.

- “My mother was quite a good cook! Have I mentioned that before? She made the best jambalaya, the recipe was to die for. No, of course I’m not telling you! What would you do with it? Take out all the seasonings and add this poor excuse of a hot sauce bought from the store? No, no, no. I’d rather keep my dignity and reputation as a well respected man, thank you. (Scoffs) share the recipe? As if I’d ever do such a thing to my mother…”

Valentino is nothing but insults the whole way through. Cussing people out, making snide comments on the set up of the cameras, outfits, the hosting skills. He doesn’t even have the sauces in order, he chooses whichever one he wants and just sort of goes for it. He wins with ease. Nobody can get him off set, he’s mixing the sauces together, somehow brings his own?? He forces production crew members to join in and try the sauce so he can insult them, specifically on their tastes and lack of ability to handle it. He’s a menace, to say the least. Gossiping, talking about clothes and fashion, texting, etc. he wins but everyone is pissed because of it.

[runawaymun]

so.. reading and looking at your fics and art kinda makes me wanna try my hand at some stuff too (they are just so beautiful and elicit so many feels), but. you seem so knowledgeable and familiar with tolkien/elves lore (and so does everyone else i've started reading in this community of elf-lovers on tumblr haha) and i'm most assuredly not. i don't get so many of the world-building allusions authors make about the history/culture/magic, which is easy enough to deal with when reading, but do you think i'd be able to write anything good with such limited understanding of the world i'm writing in? i'm not even confident enough for modern au's because idek that much about the character's relationships/connections with each other, y'know? but what do you think? would the holes i have or straight up inaccuracies rly weaken the story and interrupt the reader's connection to the world/character's, or could i still get by? tolkien's worldbuilding is so intimidating lol

Oh my goodness, this is such a sweet ask.

I'm really glad that you love my art and writing so much, and I consider it SUCH a huge compliment that it inspires you to make your own! That's what it's all about, honestly.

So first off I just want to address the anxiety around the lore-knowledge and the Tolkien fandom because listen listen listen, there are people of every level of knowledge creating art and fics here. Let me just say that when I first published And the Stars Shine the Same three years ago, I was mostly working off of film knowledge and some vague book knowledge, and I was petrified to post it because of how intimidating the Tolkien fandom seemed. I was so worried about getting this wrong and making mistakes -- so know that you're not alone in that, and it is a very common anxiety in this fandom. The thing is, when I posted that fic I found that people loved it, and that everyone was so nice, and really I have not had anybody (save maybe...one person off the top of my head) get very nitpicky about the lore/language/etc. Everybody else was very nice, loved the fic, and super receptive and friendly.

I promise you that there are so many lovely people in this fandom and that, while they're extremely knowledgeable they're also so friendly. Nearly everybody I know would be delighted if you came into their inbox and asked them a question about their specific area of interest with regards to the Silm and LOTR. There are amazing resources in this fandom, and everybody is very happy to help when asked. When I was getting started I mostly talked to friends, looked at other fanart (because honestly there is a LOT of information packed into how people portray characters in fanart for this fandom), and when I wasn't sure on something I just checked the wikis. I believe Tolkien Gateway is one of the best resources, though I also use The One Wiki to Rule Them All, and this is one of the best resources I've found for just a quick look at common Sindarin phrases, and for everything else I use Parf Edhellen which is an incredibly comprehensive dictionary for Tolkien's various elvish languages. And if you're not sure on something, just send a call out into the void because there are dozens of besties on Tumblr who are happy to offer suggestions for names or phrase translations. There's also so much information on Youtube.

I didn't even get around to reading the Silm and rereading LOTR until I felt like it. Honest to god I looked at the wikis and asked friends for most of the stuff I needed.

And I know how intimidating it can be to build your own story within Tolkien's world, but for me what I liked so much about his work is that--- while he is specific on some things, he's also very vague on others. There is a lot of room for interpretation and your own headcannons and worldbuilding. That was part of why I chose the historical spot I did for Stars and Boundless Sky, because it was sort of "dead space" so to speak with regards to Tolkien's own worldbuilding, and so I was able to play around and do my own thing without worrying too much about stepping all over lore.

But okay, all of that to say: yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. Please believe me you can. You can write whatever you want, so long as you love it, and it is yours. If you have a story you want to tell in Tolkien's little legendarium then please, please do. Tolkien's legendarium is a mythology, and mythologies are meant to be retold and reinterpreted. Tolkien's canon is incredibly loosy-goosey. There are parts of unfinished tales where Christopher Tolkien wrote: "I really couldn't make sense of my dad's notes, so here's everything. Knock yourself out ig" (notably, "Of Galadriel and Celeborn").

And Peter Jackson was fairly faithful when it comes to the og trilogy. Like there are things that I take issue with that are pet peeves of mine, and I know that's the same for a lot of people as well. Everybody has their things they take umbrage with and things they like, but generally if that's your base for knowledge you're going to be just fine to start writing fic. If you decide you want to research more, then that's up to you and the story you are trying to tell! If you're working off of the Hobbit films, that's a little different, but in general the Hobbit fandom is pretty chill when it comes to that. I would suggest reading the book if you can find the time to. It's an easy read and short, and it is very, very different to the films.

With the LOTR books...I know a lot of people are book purists and that's okay, and a lot of people go "oh you really SHOULD read the books", but tbqh as a lover of both, I think the films do a good job of telling you the heart of the story (barring a few characters like...uh. Elrond, whom PJ absolutely butchers, but I digress sorry sorry). The books do add a lot and deepen the meaning for a lot of things, and flesh a lot of characters out (and they're just fun to read), but again... yes you can write good stories without being super knowledgeable. I will say that over and over again nonnie I am grabbing you by the shoulders and looking you dead in the eye: please write your story if you want to. Please do not be afraid to just give it a stab. If you find that your lack of knowledge is holding you back for some reason, just ask! So many people will be happy to answer your questions.

Fanfiction is for everybody. Tolkien is for everybody. You do not have to be the most incredible skilled writer or know the lore really well to be able to write it. Please believe me as a person who was scared to write for the Tolkien fandom and then fell in love: people really do not gatekeep much, and if they do they're assholes. I have met so many lovely, friendly, genuine people by creating stuff for this fandom. You will be okay.

So...ough this got long, sorry. But TLDR: Yes. You can write a good story. If you are worried about holes/the story/characterization getting weakened, try to find a beta reader. They're absolute life-savers. Barring that, start posting, find a friend who as insane about your blorbos as you are, and then share snippets and plot ideas with them and within that kind of community you can get a feel for what's working in your story and what isn't. All of my best friends I have made on here are people who read my fics and have been so helpful in offering suggestions.

There are many resources, everybody is friendly, it is not as scary as it looks. The most important thing is that you have fun. Write what you want to write. It doesn't have to be good. All that matters is that you enjoy it.

[boneywones]

guys guess what….. gues…… guess what……,,,,,,,,,

im finally putting a classicerror ask blog into consideration!!!!! yay!!!!!! clap for me!!!111!1!1!1!

so that means that it will most likely be made, and right now im pushing multiple things out the way to clear for it (both my tiktok edit and art accs are on hiatus, and i finally finished killz’ dtiys so i dont have to worry about it anymore!!! yay!!) + that also includes doing any art that isnt for the ask blog, but i havent really been worrying about that nyways !!

“ok but cc…….. would there be any plot or r u just feeding into ur hyperfix……..” ive already thought about a plot, and its basically error catching classic in the middle of a genocide timeline/route thing while fighting frisk, and then involuntarily yanking classic into the anti-void from impulse,,, soo ya! its sort of technically a kidnapping but not really…,,,,??

the asks will be set in the anti-void unless i have more ideas like for example error leaving the anti-void to visit outertale (i will branch more on error and classics actual relationship once i make the ask blog,,…) and i will have some rules set in stone, like with my old classic sans ask blog where i specifically stated that people cant roleplay in asks (i involuntary cringe at roleplay asks + its really hard for me 2 answer them nyways….,, i may allow roleplay asks from other ask blogs but im still thinking about it (i would prob only allow people i kno/are mutuals with))

but im going to state this, it will most likely be made anyway,, probably in like a week, or so, maybe if people so graciously give me character analysis’s about both classics and errors canon personalities/the way they act when they speak/general stuff (please, please PLEASE can someone do this for me i would gen be so thankful)

also if ur interested in seeing something like this, id highly suggest giving me some ideas ^_^ !!! maybe about general formatting on how certain asks would be answered or something like that

(also yes this ask blog will only be focused on classic and error unless i throw the occasional other character thats able to get a few asks….,,.)

[shrimp-buffet]

LARRY & LAWRIE HEADCANONS #3

(Headcanons after the cut, I ramble for a bit)

*head pops out of grave* I'M ALIVEEE

Yeah I know I say this in practically every post but I finally got something again! school and other stuff kicked my ass and honestly i wasn't sure how interested really was in making these until I missed them! So while I can't guarantee any consistent posting knowing me, I can at least say that I do plan to keep doing these and I'm hoping to branch out into other fandoms so that me making these doesn't fully depend on me having a Brawl Stars hyperfixation.

Anyways as a sort of apology for the lack of content, I bring you the follow up I know many have been waiting for: LARRY AND LAWRIE PART 3 BABY!

Hope you enjoy!

Fair warning: this one may be a small bit angsty in some spots. Nothing that would need an actual warning but didn't want to jumpscare y'all with surprise sadness.

Larry based, Lawrie based, both

•Larry's most rebellious action would be putting a soda can in the non-recycling bin... Then feeling extremely guilty and fishing it back out to put it in the correct bin when no one is looking.

•Lawrie has an apocalypse bunker hidden somewhere in the park. It's only for them, Larry, and RT.

•Lawrie likes Bob Ross! They don't like to paint all that much though. Larry does like painting but he's really bad at it.

•They've never been outside the park before. Lawrie is pretty content with that fact and doesn't want to leave, but Larry wants to see what's out there and occasionally asks parkgoers about it.

•Larry gets along well with animals (add this and the last one and Larry is a fricking Disney princess- /j)

•Lawrie is the exact opposite, all animals hate them and they hate all animals in return.

•As somewhat implied already, Lawrie is kind of leaning towards a "hate all biological life" mindset. They don't actually full-on hate lifeforms entirely, but people don't really like them so they don't like people, that kind of deal. This leads Lawrie to sometimes say stuff teetering on the "kill all humans" line but Larry calls it out and Lawrie would always agree they're going a bit too far.

•Larry as usual is the opposite. He finds life and people to be so interesting and envies their experiences. They even somewhat avoid hanging out with other robots because it reminds him that he's also just a robot, though he doesn't even realize this thought process. He would never admit it, but he kind of wishes he was human. Lawrie can sense this so it causes some arguments between the two.

•On a more light-hearted note, Larry has a bit of a crush on Melodie! She's very pretty, sings beautifully, and does whatever she wants and says anything on her mind, all of which Larry loves and admires.

•Out of all the people in the park, Lawrie gets along with Draco and Hank the best. Draco is more of a frien-emy that can get on their nerves a lot but they have a lot of similar interests like music taste. And Hank is a semi-friendly rival.

•Larry, Lawrie, and R-T were all made on the same day. When it comes to the birthday though they celebrate it as R-T's day cause they just love their "baby" sibling. (Plus in Lawrie's case they just don't like the idea of having their own birthday)

•Larry is scared of Cordelius. He just gives them the creeps and somehow always manages to accidentally sneak up on Larry. (Same goes for Lily)

•Larry has a notebook they carry around to do made up math problems in when they're bored.

•Lawrie usually never wishes they could eat food, but he does wish he could try chocolate.

•They tend to play "road trip" games when they're bored on a patrol together. Things like Eye Spy, 20 Questions, Alphabet Game, etc. They both really enjoy it!

•They also listen to true crime podcast together.

And that's all I got for now! Thank you for reading this far!! As always if you'd like more let me know!!!

[tavina-writes]

i want to share salt. have you ever had a ship that annoyed you so much it starts poisoning other ships you could have potentially liked? because this is me with xiyao vs nielan. like, xiyaos are so fucking loud and proud of the fact that he sides with jgy over everybody else multiple times in ways that turn out to be incredibly hurtful. so it gets to the point i can't even enjoy cute teenage nielan art knowing xichen is going to so catastrophically fuck this up by repeatedly writing off mingjue as just imagining things and lying to him and leveraging their relationship for someone else's benefit and handing his killer the method to kill him and that people are *gleeful* about all that.

Hi Nonny!

First off, I want to offer you a hug, because this sort of feeling about fandom is never a fun thing to experience, and since you recognize that this is a salty ask, you might want nothing more than a "hey I see this and I get it in some part!"

But if you're thinking about how you might improve this situation and like, enjoy interacting with 3zun fandom again/mdzs fandom in general, I have a few ideas:

block everyone whose takes are pissing you off. There needs to be no bigger reason than "You know what, your takes are ruining this fandom experience for me" or "making me slightly more irritated than I would've been." There's no shame or like, anything wrong with this. Ultimately, we all live in this mosh pit of stuff together, and I might think everyone has a right to whatever kind of take they want, but I don't have to martyr myself on the cross of "hearing all sides" or whatever, and neither do you Nonny.

Recognizing which things are fanon and which are canon. This might help, but like, LXC doesn't, canonically, keep picking JGY at every turn. He is a flawed character with his own problems (as are they all in MDZS lol) but this is...not really what's happening? People can say what they want in their meta and their headcanons and interpretation of canon, but that doesn't make it...true.

this goes with 1 and 2 but also: if a fandom or a ship or a trope or something no longer brings you joy Nonny, there's always the opportunity to pack it up and leave it behind, either permanently or for a time. There's nothing wrong with not being "on" about a ship or fandom or recognizing that it was once something you really liked but not something you enjoy right at this very moment.

All that said, I'm personally of the opinion that there's a very loud and vocal part of the xiyao fandom (who exist on my blocklist by now) who've made me lose interest in the ship altogether, because the parts of the ship that I find most interesting -- the deceit, the almost gothic horror vibes, the slowly rotting center of their relationship when it didn't begin that way -- is obviously not what most (or what seems like most) people who ship it are looking for. And overall, I'm sure that it's no loss to not have me there, and that I (a NieYao girlie at heart) would not be welcome in that sandbox, so like, Nonny, I do get you and your frustrations. Ultimately I guess sometimes it's just easier to recognize that not all fandom spaces are welcoming and to find places that serve you better.