#Own thoughts

[themindofmine]

I feel sick. Sick of myself, my life and my feelings.

[letsgowatchsomebirds]

he's a textbook energy vampire

[not-the-aesthete]

the month of August is making me nostalgic.

[lettesuniverse]

sometimes I just don't wanna talk, at all

[musicmyxiii]

My Bridgerton season 3 theory is (and please know that I’ve been trying to stay away from spoilers/believing in the things that are going around right now):

Pt.1 focuses on Colin and Penelope getting together - Colin slowly realizing his feelings for Pen and at the end of episode 4 we have the confession/carriage scene. I also think that he might find out she’s Wistledown here (this is what I like to think, but could be that they changed it in the show to have it come out in part 2)

Pt.2 focuses on their relationship as newly engaged people and centers around lady wistledown and the secret. But also on Colin’s personal journey to find out what his purpose is. I hope here we get to see Colin and Pen being madly in love and together through it all.

[hurricane-333]

Egyszerre érzek mindent és semmit🌪

Káosz. Megőrülök, nincs csend. Zakatol a fejem mint egy elromlott mosógép. Miért történik egyszerre minden? Írj neki, hívd fel, kérdezd meg, fizesd be, intézd el, menj ide, menj oda, vedd meg, add el, tedd el, csináltasd meg, figyelj rá... Le kell nyugodnom, nem lehetek egyszerre több helyen és minden úgy lesz ahogy lennie kell.

Csend. Reggel kávé, süt a nap. Nézek ki az ablakon. Nincs semmi... nem történik semmi. Nem ír, nem hív, nem kérdez, nem pittyen a telefon órákon át, nem válaszol az e-mailemre, zárva van, nincs itthon, már befizettem, már elintéztem és a kutyát sem érdeklem. Megőrülök, mert unatkozom.

[exhelluvafan]

TW & CW: Self-destructive behaviors, depression, self-loathing and loneliness under the cut.

Sometimes I question why I even bother still trying to stay alive, after all, no love story is awaiting me at all, why would anyone desire an ugly, nerd and generic piece of garbage like myself?

The only things I do are home chores and studies, so at least I can feel like I'm not totally worthless, with variable results.

There's no way that a buff man or an attractive man will ever notice me, and much less a geeky and kind one, and even less one that's in the same age range as I do and not a perverted old creep, I don't deserve such things, I'm too worthless to even deserve a pat in the head.

No matter the amount of cutting I do on my wrist, no matter how much I cry and vent out my thoughts in sheets of paper or digital documents, no matter how many roleplays I do with real people or bots, nothing of that will erase the fact that I'm just undesirable in every way possible and I've finally realized that I don't want to kill myself, it's instead a matter of when.

I wish I was able to drink so I could at least dull the pain and be drunk to bawl my eyes out, or laugh obnoxiously while concealing my depression even further into my mind.

Long-distance relationships are too unreliable and extremely prone to fall apart and dating apps are a sham, geared to benefit some people over others, what else am I supposed to do? Cry like the little whiny idiot I am over here with meek hopes of managing to attract the one I'm searching for, just to end it by me messing it up like everything I do in my pathetic life? Doesn't sound like a plausible possibility.

And going off meds is doing wonders to me because of how the anhedonia slowly takes over, proceeding to stop those feelings of loneliness and misery at least in a way that's bearable for me, how ironic is that?

[nag-mamahal]

As a romantic asexual I headcanon just about every single character (and ship) I like as asexual/on the ace spectrum. I just feel there's not enough representation of non-sexual beings engaged in romantic love in popular media. I'd really love it if more stories explored good and fulfilling partnerships that thrive even without sexual intimacy. I'm not against characters being sexy or having sex I think it's just really neat when figures can exist and fall in love without a big part of the relationship revolving around fucking. I love when people, ace or not, can explore their sexuality on their own terms and set boundaries that are accepted and respected by their partners. I love when they realize they're more than their body and what their body is able to provide in terms of sexual fulfillment. I love emotional intimacy independent of the pressure of sex.

[mmani-e]

I think about Komamiki a surprising amount more than Hiyosou or any other ship tbh. Most the music in my playlists fit them more than any other rn.

I spam "Hold Me Down" imagining it's Mikan singing to Nagito in the end, as he's literally on a plane flying far away by the time of Dr3...

[entresombrayalma]

i love waking up early at the end of july. i can just feel and smell august in the air.

[themindofmine]

I don’t want to hurt people with my death

Instead I hurt myself with my existence

[letsgowatchsomebirds]

[not-the-aesthete]

oh to be a bookshop owner in a small town and the bookshop is also a bakery where people come to read books, discuss ideas and have coffee or tea while listening to beautiful instrumental music. oh to make this a reality.

[lettesuniverse]

Some people tend to never think about how much it affected you, they only think about how much it affected them

[allstargorl]

This choking love in me is growing with each breath , but how could i be rid of it when you’re no longer here to take it out.

[nag-mamahal]

I love Jonathan Sims so much!!! I love snooty, serious academic s1 Jon, I love paranoid S2 Jon, I love tortured, fearful S3 Jon, I love struggling with his humanity S4 Jon, I love unwilling avatar-above-all S5 Jon. I love Jonathan Sims in all his forms, with two human eyes or ten thousand. I love Jonathan Sims and his excruciating journey through the horrors and his efforts to maintain his tenuous grasp on his human identity TT One of my favorite ever little men, what an absolute icon.