#Pretty sure I got the idea from this from an incorrect quote

[wyvernsrus]

Alpha 17: I'm tired of you two busting in here and distracting my cadets!

Fordo: *Looking up from where Ponds and Cody are attempting to climb him*

Stec: *Holding Fox under one arm and Wolffe over a shoulder*

Alpha 17: and stop trying to steal them! You have two cadets of your own!

Stec:

Fordo:

Stec: If you're tired of us, then go take a nap

[practicalsuccubus]

Incorrect Quotes Pt. 8

Deacon: Chase. Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor of your room? Chase: Your text told me to satanize the house before you got back! Deacon: Deacon: I wrote sanitize, Chase. - Grandpa Ralph: That’s it, you’re in trouble. Get on top of that fridge! Get up there! Chase, pulling himself up onto the fridge: THIS HOUSE IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE! - Chase: lol Chase: guess what? Deacon: Chase, with the way you live, I have no fucking idea - Chase: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One. Simon, code name Been There, Done That. Buddy is Currently Doing That. Bronze is It Happened Once in a Dream; Silver, code name If I Had To Pick a Girl. Deacon is… Eagle Two.

Deacon: Oh thank God. - Chase: In my defense, Dorkin, I was left unsupervised. Deacon, about to pop a blood vessel: Wasn't Prunella with you?! Prunella, popping up: In my defense, I was also unsupervised - Deacon: If it’s a concussion, you have to keep him conscious, okay? Ask him questions. Nox: What’s seven times seven? Deacon: It has to be stuff he knows! - Chase: How the hell you spell show furr Deacon: Chauffeur? Chase: Ooo Fancy Pants Rich McGee over here, fuck you - Chase: Wife? Why am I the wife? Nox: Because you're attentive, sweet, and look good in white~ Chase, blushing: Y-You can't just say stuff like that, Buddy - Chase:

U better not mess with my gang >:(

Or you'll be dealing with:

Oopie Goopie (Silver)

General Munchkin Man (Bronze)

Lil Jim Bob (Goldie)

And worst of all

Larry (Nox) - Chase: Buddy has a weird way to say 'I love you.' Deacon: … what do you mean? Chase: Watch. Hey, Buddy! I love you! Nox: I'd kill for you. - Silver: Oh, fiddlesticks! Chase: I realize this is a tense situation, but watch the fucking language! - Deacon after 'Still Waters': We almost died, are you really going to make jokes right now?? Chase: How am I going to cope if i don't make dumb jokes about it though? - Chase: The stars are so beautiful... Nox: They're just giant balls of gas. Chase: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then- Nox: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you. Chase: Oh... - Chase, throwing his head into Nox's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Nox, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are. - Chase: I have feelings for you. Nox: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

[lorkonsghost]

So I woke up in the middle of the night from one hell of an au. Basically Phineas and Ferb's Parents, and Candice all die in like a car crash sad I know but neither their uncle or their grandparents can take them in so they find their great uncle penny worth who takes them in now Phineas and Ferb are going to help the BatFamliy become a family again. The b plot is after doof turns good perry retires from owca and is now the leader of super pets also Damian swears to god something is going on with perry he will find out but he no idea where to look

Some incorrect quotes

Phineas:hey Ferb,Cass what are we going to do today

Ferb:...

Cass:.....

Phineas: great idea we should make an anti gravity glove

Dick and Jason who's watching this happen

Dick: do you think they actually communicated that or Phineas just said something random

Jason: I'm not super fluent in Cass but I'm pretty sure she was talking to Ferb quite a bit

Bonus

Phineas: where's perry

Damian: I have been asking question everyday since you got here

[stargildedskies]

Malum in se

Pairing: Higuruma Hiromi x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None! There's only fluff here :)

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: A lovely anon originally requested this of @pseudowho, but she's asked me to fill it (for those of you not following the saga of Lyria's snow week™️.... I've been completely snowed in and WIPs have kept me sane).

Join my taglist here! (18+ only, this blog is mostly pure filth)

Higuruma Hiromi knew he was truly in love when you successfully convinced him to watch horrifically cheesy reruns of Law and Order while he was the one stuck at home sick. He groaned dramatically at every exaggeration or incorrect legal quote, but he enjoyed how you snuggled into his side too much to actually complain about the situation. After all, you were kind enough to take care of him, and his mild illness had not deterred your affection in the slightest. 

He had almost fallen asleep on the couch when you cocked your head at the antics on the television, murmuring under your breath, “Wouldn’t that qualify as Malum in se, though?” 

Hiromi blinked once, twice, and then a third time before speaking, “I’m sorry, what?” 

You turned to face your boyfriend, tone slightly teasing, “Yeah, Malum in se, right? Things like assault, murder… or wearing white after Labor Day.” 

Hiromi arched an eyebrow at you and treated you to the lopsided grin you adored so much. “You’re going to have to tell me how you know what that is.” 

He snaked his arms around you, pulling you even closer against his warm chest. Before you could answer, he took the chance to nuzzle his nose against the column of your neck, sending you into a fit of giggles.

“Well, pretty girl?” He teased gently, and you dropped your head back against his shoulder, humming contentedly.

“Do you remember when I mentioned I used to do community theatre a few years ago?” You questioned, and you could feel Higuruma's grin grow wider.

“Indeed, I do.”

“Well…. There was one time when I played a character who happened to be a law student.” You pursed your lips, trying to keep laughter from bubbling up. 

Hiromi broke into a barking laugh that became a short coughing fit. “You played a law student? What kind of musical involves lawyers?” he wheezed. 

“It’s called Legally Blonde, and it’s not just a musical… It’s a masterpiece.” You insisted. “I loved the movie when I was a young girl, and getting to play Elle- the main character- was an absolute dream come true.” 

Your eyes lit up as an idea sparked into your brain with the strength of a thunderbolt, “Omigod, you’ve never seen the movie, have you? We absolutely have to watch it.” 

Hiromi chuckled weakly, running his hand through your hair, “I’ve got a better idea… There have to be clips of your performance somewhere, right?” 

“Oh….” you paused for a moment, “It was a few years ago, and I’m sure it wasn’t my best work, but-” 

“There’s nothing I’d rather see than you enjoying yourself and doing what you love,” Hiromi interrupted gently, stroking your hair again.

His lopsided grin turned wolfish,  “Besides… I am sick; I think this is exactly what I need to heal.” 

“If you insist.” You smacked him gently with a pillow to punctuate your words as you left the couch to rummage through the DVDs on the shelf. You even took the time to make another mug of tea for your boyfriend, but eventually, you were back and snuggled up against Hiromi, who gratefully accepted the mug you offered him. 

His nose wrinkled unintentionally as he took a sip, “Thank you… but what is in this stuff?” 

“It’s helping your throat, isn’t it? You poked his stomach playfully, and he groaned in response. 

“Yes, but at what cost?” Hiromi huffed, but the slight twinkle in his eyes told you he wasn’t being serious. 

“It’s throat coat tea, yet another remnant from my musical days,” you giggled. “I never liked the taste either, but it certainly gets the job done.” 

With another flourish of the remote, you pulled up the recording of the show, and you swear you could feel Hiromi smiling behind you as he nursed the warm mug. As soon as the video started, he broke out into another laughter-induced coughing fit. 

“Dear god, I’ve never seen so much pink in my entire life.” 

“Oh, just you wait.” You threatened teasingly, “You haven’t even seen my character yet.” 

Hiromi grasped his mug in one hand and used his other arm to pull you back against his chest, wrapping a blanket snugly around your body. You leaned fully against him, partially because you enjoyed the intimacy and partly because you wanted to see his reactions out of the corner of your eye. 

His reactions did not disappoint, even though the video was grainy and clearly meant to be viewed through the rose-colored lenses of someone who was in the show. Hiromi grinned widely when you appeared on stage, murmuring almost too quietly for you to hear, “Cute…” 

You blushed happily, and the show continued. He had many comments on how the Delta Nus seemed to share a hive mind and how much of a prick Warner was. He also very nearly choked on his tea when your character’s father proudly declared, “Law school is for boring, ugly, serious people!” 

Hiromi glanced down at you after that line with a slight pout, and you took the opportunity to cup his cheek and pull him in for a soft kiss, tasting the tea and honey on his lips. “Mmm, don’t worry… You’re not boring, and you’re certainly not ugly. You can be rather serious… but I like that about you.” 

Hiromi kissed the top of your head with a low, contented hum, absolutely convinced his heart was full enough to burst. He fell more in love with you with each passing day, and these past few days had only further sealed his fate. Even now, he was watching you sing and dance your heart out, and you were shining in the roll. The sassy, playfully cute, but deceptively intelligent lawyer was such a perfect role for you, and he quickly became frustrated with Warner. Seeing you so upset over such a stupid man hurt his heart, even though he knew you were acting…. and then Emmett was introduced. 

“Now, I like that guy. He’s got the right idea, actually treating Elle decently.” Hiromi mused, playfully twirling a strand of your hair. 

“Oh, really?” You grinned slyly. “He reminds me of you, you know.”  

“It seems we share the same excellent taste in women.” 

–

The movie was over a short while later, but Hiromi insisted on letting it play through curtain call so he could properly applaud your work. You rolled over to lay against his chest, peering inquisitively into his dark, beautiful eyes, “So you really liked it?” 

“I loved it,” He assured you, pulling you in for another tea-flavored kiss. Suddenly, you could feel him grinning against your lips, “And I may buy you another one of those pink tweed skirt sets… it was cute on you.” 

His deep chuckle only grew louder as you smacked him with another pillow.

Tagging some friends: @saradika @thefact0rygirl @babygirl-leon-kennedy @hereforthesunrise @ashotofspotchka @ironandglass @amyroswell @cassandrablacker @lady-valtieri @justanothersadperson93 @orangecremepuff @khaleesihavilliard @belle-smith07 @outspokenbrat @enchantedsylveon @spam-love @silverliningsandstorms @msniks @panteramarron @eldritchbeauty @unoriginalidea @gabbyburgers @its-chickenwing-450 @luneariaa @pseudowho

[kyasemi]

Murder Drones Incorrect Quotes

*Squad is playing Among Us* 

V: I believe Uzi is innocent, I was with them the whole time. N, what were you doing? 

N: Oh, I was just murdering… I mean, nothing!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!

V: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!

*During the play*

N: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?

Uzi: W-what’re donut’s?

V: hehe, nice.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Where’s N?

V: Around.

Uzi: Around?

Uzi: You don’t have any idea, do you?

N, dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: How do I make a date really romantic? 

N: Be mysterious. 

Uzi: Okay! 

*later, while on a date with V* 

V: So where are we going? 

Uzi: None of your fucking business.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: We’re about to do the taser challenge. You want in?

N: What’s the taser challenge?

Uzi: We tase each other, then drink.

N: How do you win?

V: What are you, a lawyer? You want in or not?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Guys, where did Uzi go?

N: They got arrested.

V: How the hell-

Uzi: *bursts in through the window* The cops are after me, I thought it would be fun to steal crackers and throw them at people.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: I’m this close to falling in love with N.

V: Your fingertips are touching.

Uzi: Exactly. 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: As your best friend–

V: N is my best friend.

Uzi, holding a knife: As your best friend–

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: I hate Uzi.

N: Don’t say hate. That is a mean word.

V: Fine, I LOATHE Uzi.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: It’s pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands?

Uzi, blushing: Okay.

V: It’s fucking summer.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

V: Want to hear a hard riddle?

N: Sure.

V: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

N: …down?

V: N-

Uzi: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

V:

V: No, it’s that roosters don’t lay eggs… Jesus Christ…

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Uzi: Nice rock.

N: Thanks, J gave it to me.

J: I threw it at you!

N: Aren’t they the sweetest?

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: *finds a note* Hmm, whats this?

V: Hey, that’s mind! *tries to grab it*

N: Aww, it’s a love note for Uzi?

V: No-

N: 

V:

N: I can’t read this.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: I didn’t drink that much last night.

V: You were flirting with Uzi.

N: So what? They’re my partner.

V: You asked if they were single.

V: and then you cried when they said they weren’t.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

N: I’m not that stupid!

Uzi: N, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

N: V TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation* 

Uzi: How do you eat pickles? 

V: What do you mean? 

Uzi: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes. 

V: Yeah, that's why you use a fork. 

Uzi: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always  one of those smaller sharp knives clean. 

V: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work. 

Uzi: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl. 

V: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing. 

Uzi: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug. 

V: *Nods in agreement* 

N: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS! 

Uzi: Jeez, okay. 

V: Quit yelling at us already.

[elizzsush]

Isekai Batfam Recommendations!

For @siriuslyobsessedwithfiction

Okay so I saw this and ran to my read fics! Most of not all of them are Yandere if that’s okay with you. Isekais is apparently just part of the Yandere subjection of fanfics? I enjoy them but I know they aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. Anyway here are pretty hard to come by but I’ve found a few!

What we want by @sophiethewitch1 (Yan batboys X Reader) -this one is an isekai on a smaller scale, Y/N makes a wish while she’s already in the Gotham universe but then she becomes part of the actual story! This one is my favorite.

I can’t believe I got Isekaied into a Batfam fic by @obsessedwithromance (Yan) -This is is a more Standard isekai but the universe messes up because of Y/N

Damage control by @bad4amficideas (yan) -I haven’t read they’re isekai stuff but I have read a few of their other Batfam fics and they’re pretty good! I’d recommend the Earth 1T8 headcannon!

Finding out your not from this world by @blughxreader (Yan) -I’m sure they have more fics about this but I haven’t yet checked!

@DCsupersimp has a few ideas on the isekai trope that they’ve posted too if your interested in that! (Also Yan)

Okay finally the non Yandere: If I were isekaied into Gotham by @catwhisper0 —I laughed so hard at this one! It’s a very realistic incorrect quotes of what life in Gotham would be like lmao

Anyway! I’m sorry I really tried to find many Isekai's that weren’t Yandere! I am writing one if Yandere isn’t your cup of tea at all! And I will try and find more. If you're okay with readings Yan though I highly recommend a lot of these Fics! Usually with DC I end up reading yan because I enjoy the occasional yandere here and their all of these are platonic or I just read them as platonic.

[snowydoesitall]

✨movie night with the hidden inventory gc✨

*:･ﾟ✧cast: gojo, geto, shoko, utahime, nanami, and haibara

✧summary: a one shot of the hidden inventory friend group’s movie night

♡a/n: i’m back!!! guys please appreciate my efforts with this one this took me several attempts to post and way longer than usual to write

ྀིwarnings: language; gojo and geto are their own warnings atp; no beta we die like suguru’s tea mug

after the discussion regarding which movie they were planning to watch that night had ended, you wrapped up whatever homework you had left before changing into more comfortable clothes and heading to shoko’s dorm a bit early to help her set up.

upon arriving, you find that utahime had the same idea as she was currently standing by the microwave waiting for a bag of popcorn to finish cooking.

shoko was at her laptop, looking perplexed, so you walked over to her to see if she needed help.

“i’ve been trying to get into our disney+ account so i can stream cars onto the tv, but it keeps saying that the password is incorrect”, she explains. “did gojo change the password again?”

“i don’t think so…did you put the question mark at the end?”

shoko paused for a moment before typing something into the password bar. sure enough, the app finally let her in.

she stared at her laptop in disbelief for a solid minute before responding.

“huh, that seemed to do it. thanks.”

you nodded, chuckling lightly, before walking over to utahime, who was microwaving what appeared to be the fifth bag of popcorn.

“damn, do we really need that much popcorn?”, you asked.

“if it were just us girls i would’ve stopped at three or four. but there’s going to be seven of us, and you know how gojo is with snacks”, she responded.

“good point.”

the two of you continued to chat for a bit, shoko joining in once she finished setting up the movie.

eventually, the boys finally showed up with a couple snacks as well as a few bottles of soda, which they set on the counter.

“alright, that’s everyone. shall we start the movie?”, shoko asked.

everyone agreed, grabbing a couple snacks and drinks before settling themselves on either the couch or the floor in front of the tv as shoko presses play on the remote to behind the movie.

as the movie played on, the room was filled with all sorts of chaos. for starters, gojo would not stop quoting lines from the movie, which, while slightly annoying, was tolerable. eventually haibara joined in for a bit, seeing as he’d watched that movie at least a hundred times.

it eventually got tiring though, especially once gojo started quoting lines from completely different movies, and so geto ended up lightly tapping him on the shoulder to get him to stop.

speaking of those two, once gojo’s focus had shifted to his boyfriend, the two of them were practically glued to each other with how close they were. this didn’t exactly surprise you, since gojo is the king of being clingy, especially around geto, and the latter of the two never minded it despite not being super clingy himself.

“alright, you two need to either get a room or stop making out on my floor, because some of us are trying to watch the god damn movie”, shoko complained after about ten minutes of their behavior.

“i mean i’m not opposed to- ow!”

whatever gojo was planning to say next was cut off by you smacking him from the couch.

“making out during a disney movie is crazy, you two”, you stated.

“fair point”, geto responded, lightly shoving gojo off his lap, to the latter’s dismay.

nonetheless, the two of them settled down after a while, so your attention shifted back to the movie.

about halfway through, you started feeling tired, which made sense seeing as it was getting kind of late and you’d had a pretty long day. all the same, you did your best to stay awake, as things in the movie were starting to get real interesting.

you reached into one of the popcorn bowls to grab a few pieces to keep yourself awake. in doing so, your hand brushed against another hand, causing you to pause.

you glanced at nanami, who had reached into the popcorn bowl at the same time you did. the two of you sat there for a moment, neither one lifting your hands from the bowl.

after what seemed like a couple minutes, you finally lifted your hand out of the bowl, a few pieces in your hand.

“looks like we had the same idea”, you remarked with a laugh, popping a piece of popcorn into your mouth.

“looks like it”, nanami responded, a small smile forming on his face as he too grabbed a few pieces of popcorn.

you heard a cough, so you turned to see utahime staring at the two of you, a knowing smile on her face. you stared back at her, hinting for her to back off.

eventually, towards the end of the movie, you were getting more and more tired, to the point where even popcorn wasn’t enough to keep you awake. the last thing you remember before dozing off was the start of the final race.

you woke up slowly to someone gently shaking you awake.

“hey guys, time to wake up, movie just ended”, haibara stated.

you took a glimpse of your surroundings, noticing that the nearly-empty bowl of popcorn had now toppled onto the floor, spilling a few kernels. you then noticed that you’d fallen asleep leaning against nanami, who in turn had fallen asleep against the armrest of the couch.

haibara was standing in front of the two of you, currently trying to wake up nanami, who was still sound asleep against the armrest. you sat up quickly, hoping that he hadn’t noticed you dozing off on him, but you figured he must’ve since the second you got up was when he finally woke up, slightly dazed and tense as he glanced around the room, presumably to find where you’d gone.

once he noticed you sitting next to him, he let out a sigh of relief, looking more relaxed.

“you okay, man?”, haibara asked, looking slightly confused.

nanami turned to face the brown-haired boy, looking as if he’d just noticed his presence.

“oh, sorry…i’m fine, just…it’s nothing.”

you and haibara looked at him suspiciously, feeling that it wasn’t just “nothing”, but didn’t pry.

“i’m fine, you two. seriously.”

you opened your mouth to say something, but before you could, you heard shoko calling for the three of you.

“hey! are you two sleepyhead lovers and hai going to help me clean up or what?”

“the WHAT?”, you exclaimed, looking at shoko with an mixed expression of shock and confusion all at once. meanwhile, haibara was looking like he was trying not to laugh while nanami was awkwardly looking around the room, trying to avoid eye contact, a twinge of pink starting to show on his face.

“nothing! don’t worry about it, now come help us clean up!”

you signed, knowing you weren’t going to get a legitimate answer from her, at least not right now, so you got up from the couch and started cleaning up, the other two boys following suit.

but as you were clearing up the kitchen, you couldn’t help but think about what shoko said.

lovers?, you thought to yourself. but how could that be? we’re just friends, after all…

but then you started to look more into it, moments of the night playing through your mind. the small smile he gave you when your hand brushed against his earlier, the way neither of you pulled away immediately, his slight blush at shoko’s jab at the two of you, the way he rose up from his sleep the second he no longer felt your presence, all of it.

the more and more you thought about it, the more and more you realized that perhaps the other girls had a point.

“you okay?”

you snapped back into reality as you turned to face nanami, who was looking at you with concern.

“yeah, i’m fine, just…tired”, you tell him, giving him a reassuring smile.

you weren’t entirely sure if nanami believed you, but he didn’t show it if he didn’t.

“i see. anyway, the others are planning to crash here for the night. the cleaning’s pretty much done if you wanted to head to bed.”

sleep did sound pretty nice right then and there, so you nodded.

“yeah, that might be a good idea, it is pretty late…”

the two of you headed back to the living room space. nanami returned to his spot on shoko’s couch, leaning against the armrest, while you sat next to him and tried to fall asleep sitting upwards, not wanting to invade his personal space nor accidentally wake up haibara, who had taken up the other side of the couch.

“there’s no way that’s comfortable”, nanami remarked as he noticed your attempts.

“sorry, didn’t want to intrude or anything”, you replied.

“i didn’t mind the first time, why would i mind now?”, he asked. “make yourself comfortable. i promise i don’t mind.”

with that, you hesitantly went back to leaning against nanami, finding him a lot more comfortable than trying to sleep sitting up.

before long, you were finally starting to fall asleep. you felt an arm gently wrap itself around you, and while you certainly didn’t expect it, you didn’t try to pull away, nor did you feel uncomfortable. instead, you felt at ease, like this was natural, almost.

by the time sleep came to take you away for the night, you were pretty certain that nanami had some sort of feelings for you.

hell, at this point, you were starting to think that you did, too.

oh god this ended up longer than i expected😭

♫tag list: @ofcqdesi @duwangdays

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[potatoqueenpal]

Yall I'm SO SORRY for dipping on you I have no ideas and I'm still fighting to get my avior fic back.

Have filler till I think of more angst

I present to you: Shaw Pack and Mates: Incorrect quotes

Sam, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Sweetheart : Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Baabe: I personally was created in a lab.

Angel: I just straight up spawned.

Sam: We call that a traumatic experience.

Sam, turning to Baabe: Not a "bruh moment".

Sam, turning to Angel: Not "sadge".

Sam, turning to Sweetheart : And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Asher: Knock, knock.

Baabe: Who's there?

Asher: Boo!

Baabe: Boo who?

Asher: Why are you crying?

Baabe: I'm not crying.

Asher: Hello notcrying, I'm Asher.

Milo: Angel, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Angel: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Milo: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

David: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand.

Milo: I photosynthesize with this.

Sweetheart: I’m this close to falling in love with Milo.

Asher: Your fingertips are touching.

Sweetheart: Exactly.

Asher, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.

Sweetheart : I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...

Baabe, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?

Asher, spraying Sweetheart : You FUCKING DUMBASS!

Sweetheart : Dude, I forgot-

Asher: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?

Sam: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*

Asher: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?

David, turning to Darlin': How tall are you?

Angel: Sam said its my turn with the brain cell.

Asher: Square up.

Sam: And what do we say when someone refuses your offer?

Sweetheart : Suck it, boomer!

Sam: I don't know who "Boomer" is, but no.

Asher: *spits mouthful of blood onto floor* You’ve become far more powerful since we last crossed paths.

Dentist: Please stop, there’s literally a sink right next to you.

Baabe: I think my guardian angel drinks.

David: How did none of you hear what I just said?!

Milo: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Asher: I got distracted halfway through.

Darlin': Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Asher: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Sam: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Asher?

Asher: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Sam: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Asher: Oh, come on, Sam, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Sam:

Asher: …it was a credit union.

Angel: Tell them to eat shit, David.

David: Tell them yourself.

Angel: Eat shit, asshole. Fall of your horse.

Milo, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Darlin': Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Darlin': Here you go.

Milo:

Darlin':

Baabe: Why am I here?

Angel: Guess what I'm about to get!

David: On my nerves.

Sweetheart : That's a nice arguement, Milo Why don't you back it up with a source?

Milo: My source is that I made it the fuck up!

Sam: Aww, what's your cat's name?

Milo: Aggro.

Sam, yelling to Baabe: TRY AGGRO!

Baabe, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Milo:

Sam: What's your favorite number?

Angel: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Angel*

Angel: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Angel: I've connected the two dots.

David: You didn't connect shit.

Angel: I've connected them.

And now, wholesome (amd flirty) ship incoreect quotes:

｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡｡･

David : Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Angel: It was autocorrect.

David : Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Angel: Yes.

Angel: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy.

David : I would be happy if you ate, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep.

Angel: I said within reason, David . How about I murder that guy?

David : So murder is in reason but proper self care isn't?

Angel: Well, duh. What kind of question is that?

Angel: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?

David : I have a gun on that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I’ve obviously gone crazy.

Angel: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?

David : Nope, there's 26.

Angel: Ah, I must have forgotten U, R, A, Q, T.

David : Aww, that's cute, but you're still missing one.

Angel: So give me the D.

Angel: Hey, I’m getting in the shower. Wanna help me out?

David : ...Have you never taken a shower before?

David, sweating: Angel, there’s something I need to ask you-

Angel: Finally! You’re proposing!

David: How’d you know?

Angel: David, you’ve dropped the ring five times during dinner.

Angel: I even picked it up once.

David: I want to kiss you.

Angel, not paying attention: What?

David: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Baabe: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Asher: Wow. They sound stupid.

Baabe: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Asher: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Baabe: I guess you’re right. Hey Asher, I love you.

Asher: See! Just say that!

Baabe: Holy fucking shit.

Asher: If that flies over their head then, sorry Baabe, but they're too dumb for you.

Baabe: Asher.

Baabe: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Asher: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Baabe: Seize the dick.

Asher: We have a problem.

Baabe: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Baabe: I'm trash.

Asher: As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Baabe:

Baabe: You smooth motherfucker.

Baabe: And yes it does.

Asher: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.

Baabe: Hi, I’m ‘things’.

Asher: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Baabe: I wrote you a poem.

Asher, already crying: You did?

Milo: Being gay is a constant battle between "I wish to sit on a window bench with my lover, our legs tangling as we listen to the birds" and "Hey, let's go throw rocks at fascists" and I think that's very sexy of us.

Sweetheart : If the window's open and you time it right, you can do both.

Milo: I fell—

Sweetheart : From heaven?

Milo: No, I literally fell—

Sweetheart : In love with me the moment you saw me?

Milo: MY ARM IS BROKEN!

Sweetheart : Okay, but do you think I'm pretty? Be honest.

Milo: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time?

Sweetheart : AS ENEMIES?!

Milo:

Milo walking into the kitchen and seeing all their limes peeled: Sweetheart , I love you but, what the h-e-double FUCK.

Sweetheart , sipping coffee happily: I love you too :)

Sweetheart : I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you.

Milo: That's great, Sweetheart . Especially considering the fact we've been together for 6 fucking years.

Sweetheart : I’m in love with you.

Milo: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sweetheart : I know.

Milo: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

Sweetheart: I was going to suggest we do Marilyn Monroe and JFK roleplay, but I’d get way too into it.

Milo: What- how?

Sweetheart: You’d be like “come to bed … Mr. President” and I’d be like, “I need to increase the amount of American military advisors in South Vietnam by a factor of 18.”

Milo: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Sweetheart is? Because Sweetheart is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.

Sam: The stars are so beautiful...

Darlin': They're just giant balls of gas.

Sam: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Darlin': And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Sam: Oh...

Darlin': Wow, Sam, you want to hold my hand before marriage? How awfully lewd of you.

Sam: We literally slept together yesterday.

Darlin': That's NOTHING compared to the lewdness of holding hands.

Sam: I love you.

Darlin', not paying attention: What was that?

Sam: I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

Darlin': Well, Sam and I finally did it!

The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*

Darlin': That's right... We kissed!

Darlin': What are you in the mood for?

Sam: World domination.

Darlin': That's a bit ambitious.

Sam: You are my world.

Darlin': Aww...

Sam:

Darlin':

Sam:

Darlin': OH.

Darlin': I have feelings for you.

Sam: Why? What's wrong with you? Are you sure you're okay?

Waiter: What would you like?

Darlin': Bring a milkshake with two straws.

Sam: *blushes*

Darlin': *puts both straws in their mouth* Watch how fast I can drink this!!

Darlin': You got a date yet Sam?

Sam: No...

Darlin': Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!

Darlin': Are we fighting or flirting?

Sam: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Darlin': Your point?

Darlin': I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Sam: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Darlin': O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Sam: Is it working?

Sam: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God! Was it me? Did I hurt you?

Darlin': …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

Sam: Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

Darlin': Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

Darlin': Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Sam: Marry me.

Darlin': This date is boring!

Sam: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store.

Darlin': Then why did you invite me?

Sam: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Sam I'll do whatever I want!

(This is long as fuuuuck and took me a good hour, but it was fun)

[infinityinakiss]

arcane incorrect quotes: dysfunctional sisters edition (+ cait, the number one sister-in-law)

vi: go to hell!

jinx: where do you think i come from?

//

jinx: my assistance will be an act of beneviolence.

vi: ...don’t you mean benevolence?

jinx: no.

//

caitlyn: don’t go picking a fight with me. i could make your life difficult.

jinx, sarcastically: wow. i wonder what it’d be like to have a difficult life.

//

jinx: i'm gonna nickname my child "lil bitch". vi: i see you're passing on your name.

//

jinx: i typed "bitch" into my gps and guess what? i'm in your driveway.

caitlyn:

jinx: vroom vroom, come out already.

//

jinx: hey, caitlyn?

caitlyn: yeah?

jinx: can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

caitlyn:

caitlyn: where’s vi?

//

vi: advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

jinx: yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? you can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue.

vi: blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

//

jinx: people tell me i have a unique way of lighting up a room.

caitlyn: it’s called arson and those people are called witnesses.

//

jinx: i never understood why people cared so much about their dumb friends until i got a dumb friend myself.

jinx: *picks up isha*

jinx: i've only befriended isha for a day and a half, but if anything happened to them i would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

//

vi: ...i'm pretty sure that place is fire-proof, or something.

jinx, grenade in hand: alright, but is it explosion-proof?

//

vi: why am i not the protagonist of an amazing story…?

jinx: you are, though - it’s called “your life.”

vi: shut the fuck up, i wanna struggle fighting demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day.

jinx: but those are your demons.

vi: …

vi: i am hereby naming you as the antagonist and now it is my sole job to find you and hit you in the face with a chair for that bitch-ass comment you just made.

//

vi: why would you think any of this was a good idea?

jinx: probably because i’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.

vi:

jinx: i don’t know how you keep forgetting this.

//

vi: you’re alive.

jinx: no need to sound so disappointed.

//

vi: can you be serious for five minutes?

jinx: my record is four, but i think i can do it.

//

cait: tell jinx off, vi! assert yourself!

vi: that's my ice cream!

cait: good! now let them have it!!

vi, handing jinx the ice cream: here, you can have it!

//

jinx: you know, pinocchio could tell us so much about the universe! he could randomly claim stuff like “the big bang happened” and his nose would confirm or deny our theory.

cait: pinocchio’s not omniscient, you dumb fuck! his nose only grows when he’s intentionally being dishonest!

vi: things are heating up in the pinocchio fandom…

//

jinx: look, i'm glad everyone’s on the same page.

jinx: but it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”.

cait: that’s not even clever.

//

jinx: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT!

cait: at least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone.

jinx: oh, i'm sorry. i should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch?

cait: somehow that's worse.

//

vi: i don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

jinx: *cracks knuckles* manslaughter it is!

//

jinx, holding a toy lightsaber: i’m darth vader!

vi: i'm done with everyone’s bullshit.

[xx-alice-in-wonderland-xx]

Abby, Lev & Yara incorrect quotes 🖤

Abby, to Lev: Look at you! All cute and small! I could just eat you up! Lev: *proceeds to kick her in the shin and run away*  Yara, walking past: Rule number 1, don't call Lev cute or small.

Lev: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.  Abby: Abby: I'm gonna tell him.  Owen: Don't you dare.

Abby: Today, Lev said a swear word, so Yara said that she was going to wash Lev’s mouth out with soap. Lev replied, “It’s okay, I like the taste of soap”. Turns out, they’ve both been putting soap on their lips to blow bubbles for the past hour.

Lev, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?  Abby: Yeah, sure.  *A few minutes later*  Abby: Here you go.  Lev:  Abby:  Owen: Why am I here?

Yara: Breathe, just breathe.  Lev: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!  Their mom in Lev’s mind: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Lev on his 18th birthday: Adulting is hard.  Lev: How do I quit?  Yara: Time travel.  Abby: Die.

Lev: When Yara was born, the gods said, "She’s too perfect for this world."  Abby: Please. When I was born, the devil said, "Oh, competition."

Yara: You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?  Abby: Eat a nickel.  Yara: A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories.  Lev: Eat a nickel.  Yara: Ok.

Lev: Why does everyone want to kill Abby?  Ellie: Because, goddamnit, have you seen her? her neck looks so snappable.

*the Squad cleaning up*  Abby: Pick up the nearest piece of trash and throw it away.  Lev, to Yara: Aight, which bin do you wanna go in—

Lev: *sneaking in through their window*  Yara: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you've been all night?  Lev: I was with Abby?  Abby: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?

Yara: Do you support gay rights?  Lev: I’m literally trans.  Abby: He’s avoiding the question!

Yara: What did Abby do this time?  Lev: More like WHO did Abby do this time?

Lev: Self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or putting on a lot of make up if you like that, or taking a nice warm nap and stuff like that basically.  Abby: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.  Yara: Self care is stealing someones birthday cake just to eat the frosting.  Lev: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

⬆️ (Lev’s never had a birthday cake 🥲)

Lev: If I die, my funeral will be the biggest party ever and you're all invited.  Yara: "If"  Abby: Great, the only party I'm ever invited to and they might not even die.

Abby: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Yara’*  Lev: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

Yara: Nice rock.  Lev: Thanks, Abby gave it to me.  Abby: I threw it at you!  Lev: Isn’t she the sweetest?

Yara: Lev! Abby got that thing on the control panel working!  Lev: Wow! That looks pretty impressive.  Yara: Yeah!  Abby: Any idea what it does?  Lev: Not a clue.

Yara: What are you two arguing about this time?  Abby: They’re always using common phrases incorrectly!  Lev: Cry me a table, Abby.

Yara: Lev isn’t answering my messages.  Abby: Allow me.  Yara: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi-  Lev: *replying to message* Hello.

Lev, not understanding the concept of holidays since I headcannon Seraphites didn’t celebrate stuff like Christmas: Christmas is cancelled.  Abby: You can't cancel a holiday.  Lev: Keep it up, Abby, and you'll lose New Year's too.  Abby: What does that mean?  Lev: Yara, take New Year's away from Abby.

Yara, to Abby You know, Lev can be really aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.  Lev: *blows airhorn at a seraphite* GET FUCKED!

this was so funny to make lmao 😭

[changingplumbob]

🍒📎 send this to the blogs that feel like inside jokes, shared snacks, and quiet comfort. the cozy corner of your dash. 💌 grateful to orbit this little galaxy with you 💫

Lots of Love, Kirsty! You're one of the people around here I'm always excited to hear from and talk to <3

How very dare you Kinha! I was gearing up to forward my first ask that I was committing to in months to inboxes including yours and you bet me to it!!!

You leave me no choice, I must reveal how much work you put in to the villa, it's your own fault for provoking me.

In this story CP shall stand for me, changing plumbob. PS shall stand for Kinha, paracosmic-sims. These are not direct quotes, merely my memories, some of which may be incorrect, out of order or complete fabrications of my fatigued mind.

Many months ago...

CP: Ugh I need to build this villa. I suck at building, I shall look at pinterest

PS: Why don't you just look on the gallery

CP: *is stubborn* NO. I have a specific part of the villa in my mind that I need to recreate

Specifically it was that the kitchen/dining had to be on a platform higher than the lounge but where you could still see in to the lounge clearly.

Some months ago...

CP: It is DONE! Finished, complete, Shay approved

PS: But maybe you could put a plant north southwest and perpendicular to the acute angle of the patio furniture

CP: ....

PS: ....

CP: Yeah so I'm terrible at geography, can I just send you the file since you're a master builder and you could give it a polish?

PS: *picks up the ceremonial cursor* I shall do it for simblr

Months ago...

PS: Is it okay to put a covering on the patio

CP: Sure but why?

PS: If you are drinking outside in the sun the ground gets hot and is uncomfy to step on and your drink will get warm if there is no shade

CP: 🤯 Is this one of those facts normal people are meant to know?

...

PS: I'm thinking sunken lounge so you can see the area you made beside the platform

CP: Sounds sensible

PS: With a fire pit

CP: It's summer in Tartosa

PS: #aesthetic

...

CP: *tying to cover my bases* So the bathrooms are awful because that DIY shower actually has higher stats than the basic one, I don't need them pretty

PS: *makes them pretty anyway* Do you need the back yard to be empty

CP: Well I suppose I could send them off lot for the challenge, that would leave that last room empty to

PS: *makes gorgeous backyard and confessional/meeting backdrop inside*

...

PS: Do you need the villa now

CP: The intro's won't be there so no, why?

PS: I'm having Apolline upgrade everything so it won't break or be dirty

CP: 😍

....

PS: We have a problem... the lot won't load. I'm getting infinite loading screen

CP: *panics* But you were building in it yesterday. Is it because I have the bug life mod that spawns bugs?

PS: Maybe. It must be a piece of the cc

CP: *says a prayer* Please don't let the dire chinchilla art be corrupted

I can't remember what it actually was that was causing the issue but I do think it was cc of some kind that was easily replaced

December/January...

PS: All uploaded! Enjoy

CP: Thank you so much and... wait... sfs isn't letting me download it

PS: uh oh, let me try reuploading (repeated x5)

CP: Crazy idea, upload it without the cc and tell me where to get the cc you added

PS: Done! You will need this this and these tiles

CP: SFS doesn't want to give me the tiles 😭

I eventually just put random tiles in the kitchen because I couldn't download the correct ones.

...

CP: there's a pile of trash on the patio?

PS: APOLLINE!!!

February...

CP: Ugh, the sink in Deanna's ensuite broke

PS: Apolline must have missed that one

...

CP: I have bad news *sends picture showing that all upgrades are available on everything*

PS: They didn't transfer??? But everything transfers

CP: 😭 not upgrades apparently, they shall have to live in the dirt/broken plumbing

And that is the abridged version of how she renovated the villa and we both lost ten years of our lives. If you got this far you deserve to know that this picture of squeamish Apolline autonomously cleaning dishes missed the cut for final post, but she was making up for that left behind trash!

All the love and hugs back to you @paracosmic-sims ��🫂💗

[hunterandthedeer]

Stuff I've done for my ocs because I'm bored

(none are super art related)

Made them on Picrew! This is honestly how I make most of them... Unfortunately I'm barely motivated to actually draw

Made them a Pinterest Board! It's a good way to get to know them a bit more :D whether it's their interests, things that remind you of them, their clothes... It's just fun!

Made them Profiles on Fortelling! Bro this sounds like the beginning of a youtube sponsor ( ຶ- ຶ )‬ I genuinely do love fortelling tho! You can use it for all your universes, It's heavily writing focused, but yadayada idk what else to say I might make another post about this if people see this post (Creds to MerRants on youtube!)

Write their little Interactions! I luv doing this, it doesn't have to be SUPER in depth— just funny little small talk or conversations between them!

Make Crossovers! Introduce them to your other Ocs! Okay I haven't actually done this, but I'm sure it's really fun! Also I got this idea from a different user but I can't remember their name!! ๐·°(৹˃ᗝ˂৹)°·๐

Make Pins of them! Another one I haven't done ㅠㅠ But I'm sure it's really fun! (Creds to MerRants on youtube!)

Use Incorrect Quote Generators with them! I LOVE doing this! It's so funny to me idk why (I think i also got this from MerRants?)

Make a MoodBoard of some that remind you of them/they would like! Pretty much the same as the pinterest thing but like all clumped together even smaller

Um this is a very short list... I thought I had more (I probably do I just probably can't remember rn) but um yeah! This was the list!

(also the reason only one of the MerRants credit things has a color pattern is because I did that one first and then remembered I discovered Fortelling from them! And I decided the pattern took to much work)

[microwavetoaster-selfships]

🍑, 🥦, 🥬, 🍒

for Storm, and

🍋(SORRY I HAD TO), 🍏, 🍇, 🥑

for Axelrod

Bonus I thought for a second about suggesting 🍏 for Finn and you can still answer it but then I had the thought he would say "Well, isn't everybody a little Queer?" and then leave it at that and that is making me laugh so much right now sorry

-@markbeakskisser

IM SORRY I. THOUGHT I POSTED THIS THREE DAYS AGO. In relation to the tags of this post I am already out of school. My last day was last Friday. Thank you a million for the ask I loved answering it. I don't know how coherent any of this post is, I was a madman when I answered it.

----

Tumblr. Nuked my post and I am losing my mind having to retype it and I'm HOPING I remember all my thoughts but. Normally I save it as a draft like five different times when I know it's going to be a long post BECAUSE I don't wanna lose the whole thing but. It was 3:30am when I had first seen this and went to answer it and I was completely cracking up over that idea for Finn because. It's FITTING. Especially cause like. Going off his car model and when the movie came out that man is like. He's like 53 or something. So he totally grew up in a time where that was probably even more unacceptable and that would so be like the trying to cope responce that goes in to just saying it to mess with people. Your stereotypical gentleman who is suave and overly sappy romantic and likes buys roses and boxes of chocolates and would throw his suit jacket down over a puddle even though it's NOT necessary. Oh and he's also GAY.

I just. Or like some interview sort of thing and the interviewer asks him something and that's how he responds and there is just a lengthy silence before the interviewer is like "....no.?" And he's like "oh" and then has to take a sip from his wine IM. SORRY.I JUst. I don't know why I have so many thoughts on this. I haven't even gotten into saying thanks for giving me an entire fruitbasket worth of things to answer. I'm pretty sure if I was an animal in a zoo so much of my enrichment would just come from these.

I don't know how you're so good at this incorrect quotes things with them.

For J.ackson Storm:

I don't know how you telepathically magically knew I was thinking about him but I suppose they are all ping-ponging around in my head like cable TV screensavers. I proceeded to space out here and have about 40 minutes worth of my own entire imaginary thing but I really need to dedicate a day to just sitting and thinking about him because I like him a lot and thought about him a lot(he's the whole starting reason for my Cars thing and actually the one I ended up liking first), and if it wasn't for EventsTM my brain probably wouldn't be so clogged trying to think about him naturally. I. I haven't even started any of the asks I'm going to stop now. This is gonna be a long one isn't it.

🍑 - is your f/o more comfortable giving or receiving gifts? why? do they have any preferences on gifts they like receiving?

I feel like he'd be more comfortable receiving gifts because I feel like he would have a lot of trouble trying to get people gifts or having an idea on what to gift them. If it came up naturally(like he saw something that reminded him of someone else that they'd like) he'd probably have an easier time with it but if an event or holiday comes up he'd probably break in half. But also partly because of his popularity(he did a lot of online/iRacing/simulator competetive racing stuff, he was super good at it, and it's how he got offeree to race on actual tracks) he probably was used to being given things from winning events or from people that would support him. He's not very well rehearsed on what feelings are, so things like gift giving/recieving, which normally(keyword) involves feelings or knowing what other people would like sort of plays to his weaknesses.

I feel like if he ever did get anything that he was happy over getting, he probably wouldn't express it well(at all), but he'd either end up using it until he couldn't anymore(whether it's playing a video game till he's sick of it or something that is a 'practical tool' like a weighted blanket) or if it's a more sentimental/handmade thing he'd probably leave it on a high shelf where it couldn't get tampered with and perhaps most people wouldn't see it and be able to question him on it.

🥦 - does your f/o have any pet peeves? things that just really really get on their nerves? what are they and why?

This is a really interesting one because I feel like he has a lot of things that can upset him, so i gotta mull over which ones would fall under the line of being a pet peeve and which is just something that sets him off. I feel like he would not be able to do getting interrupted at all. And unless it's like someone he's really REALLY close with, I feel like he wouldn't be big on touch either. There are veryy few times where be might not care or he might reach out first but even then 98% of the time it's probably better to just ask him if you can or to just not worry about it, even if it's something like just patting him on the shoulder or whatnot. Even I ask, of course. Even if most the time I get a "yes" or "sure", just giving the choice makes a big difference.

🥬 - what are some beige flags your f/o has? so, not bad, but not nessecarily good either. just. "oh. you do This."

These flag things always trip me up because in my head from my understanding red flags are like "Hey, you should probably end the relationship over this, it's pretty bad" but then I'll hear things like people saying it's a red flag to do something that is completely arbitrary and I can't tell if I've lost my mind or they've lost my mind. Then again, I'm kinda super biased even with beige flags because there are very few, if any things that my F/Os can do that I'll be like "://" over, yknow? Cause like, if they did something that off-put me that much I probably wouldn't like them that much! Am I reading into this too much? I probably am.

However. If we're talking from an OUTSIDE perspective, like what other people might consider beige flags for him, there's a right amount of things I could say because he was one of the ones that I got critisizm for liking him. I feel like how quickly he gets frustrated over things might be something that would get pointed out, cause in the book about his backstory, after something like getting sensory overloaded on a couple occasions he would get really upset/angry to the point of storming off(cough pun intended). But I also completely understand that and I think that adds to my bias😅. And I'm sure many would be turned off by his cold demeanor.

🍒 - if your f/o and you spend a day doing anything, anything at all, what would they do and why?

Okay, I really like this question because I get to talk about how he spends 90% of his freetime just playing through racing simulators. But I need to you picture the whole complete setup of having the wheel and pedals and things that you hook up to your computer and like the several monitors. Like a dedicated room or corner of a room to it. And that's what he spends most of his time doing. He is online a lot but his social media presence does not exist it all. He is not very outdoorsy either so if we are spending the day together a lot of it will be spent either playing games together(sometimes I can convince him to try out another game with me) And most the time, even if we are playing together on like an Xbox controller or something, I'm still spending about the whole session just fawning over his skills at it. Sometimes I can grab his attention with something else for a little bit if I end up cooking or knitting or such. You should've absolutely seen the face he pulled and reaction he had over me knitting.

------

For Axlerod:

🍋 - if your f/o could change one thing about themselves, what would they change and why?

Okay, I was giggling at first at the fact that you picked lemon for him because that's funny, and then I wanted to get into my story about how I actually really like lemons and sour candy is my favorite type of candy and whenever I get iced tea at restaurants I always take the lemon slice and just eat it and don't squeeze it in the tea but the FACT THAT THIS IS THE QUESTION TO IT IM. It's too early in the morning for this.

Okay I'm going to be real here IM GOING TO BE REAL HERE. Once I stop losing my mind. Truthfully. Okay. BECAUSE of the whole lemon thing. I do think he would have several answers for what he'd want to change about himself because asides from money and power that man IS insecure. I've already talked about my headcannon of him wearing his hat and like nevveerrr ever taking it off because it helps hide his curly hair right. That's why I have to squeeze him and love on him until a proper ego about his geniune self starts to form. And definitely not because I'd do it anyway regaurdless. Totally. I mean he is literally the kingpin of the lemons(movie captions call him kingpin, their words not mine!!), that man is messed up. Society probably tried to maul him. Humanized version of what a lemon is is nearly just any minority ever. Breaks down a lot? Faulty? Doesn't work right? Gets slander souly just for looks, typically ones they can't control? I mean, even asides from things like rust and dents and whatnot, cars like Acer's typically worked fine, but they got dubbed "fishbowl"(it's also his lisence plate) because of how they looked and it was the running gag. What gets dubbed a lemon is bulleted point #2 for why I cry over his speach, in this essay I will-

🍏 - if you have any queer headcanons for your f/o, how did they realize they were queer?

It's funny because for a long time when I was still sorting out how I identified, I was genderfluid at the time, and so I just dubbed all the characters I liked as pan and called it a night. I still do that now for a few reasons but then we will get off topic into my entire gender identity story! But also because of that, I don't have very proper elaborate stories of them realizing their feelings and such. There are a select few of them where I might have more particular queer headcannons or have more of a story for them, but I do think for Axlerod it would be something that he'd known about himself for a while. Like a longgg while. And he probably has moments of openly showcasing it or supporting it with pride flags and whatnot without caring about any negative stuff he might receive. He has to at least have one big open indulgence in it during pride month. I normally am more quiet during pride month but I don't mind indulging with him cause it makes him smile(I say, at 6 in the morning with half-lidded sleepy eyes and the most "I have a problem" smile of a grin).

🍇 - if you and your f/o never met, what do you think your f/o would be doing right now?

Oohhhhmigosh. Blowing up the planet, probably? /joking. There's this whole entire thing in the story of him getting a little more tame in his havoc and it becoming slightly noticeable to others, because his vengeful scheming against the world eases up a bit now that he has someone to keep him a bit straight and that also doesn't want to kick him to the curb for him doing human things like. Being strange or a bit unconventional. And also because he now has an animal at home(me) to take care if and put time and energy into. And feed sandwhiches. So if we hadn't met, he'd probably still be just as unhinged as ever, if not a bit more destructive. Heck, I shudder to think about where myself would be if it wasn't for my F/Os! So maybe we'd meet in the midst of wrecking havoc(Kane can not cope with the concept of him and F/Os not meeting).

🥑 - is there any niche topics your f/o is interested in? what are they and why do they like them?

OKAY. I WISH I HAD GONE INTO BETTER DEPTH IN THIS DURING THE MOVIE WHEN WE WERE WATCHING IT. I don't know how niche this really is but I really like it. But with the whole newspaper thingy and it talking about the like Abyssian Desert that he crossed and the whole "around the globe" thing for the World Grand Prix like. I think he just enjoys doing that stuff. Which I suppose it's like yknow he is/has a Land Rover! Of course he does! But a Land Rover doesn't HAVE to do anything!! There are plenty that just go around on motorways! I think he just likes doing that stuff just for fun. That slight smile and sad pathetic wink(I love him) was not the same maddening smile during the Mel Dorado show and next to the Queen of England that say "I should probably be interrogated over something." Kane do NOT pull out pictures and clips. Even if they're in good quality. Maybe. Maybe later. Later. We can do that later in the day.

But I think he just enjoys going out and exploring. Going on like hikes or something. Ohmigosh it's. 6 in the morning and I'm covering my face and closing my eyes and giggling. Yes I've been working on this post for the past three hours straight, I've loved every second of it. I accidentally. Just typed. "-I've loved every second of him" and if that doesn't confirm my brain has been sucked into a hole then I don't know what does.

But anyway. I also really enjoy that stuff. Which is partly why I want a Jeep and why I like going on really long walks and just wandering into bits of land that I probably shouldn't be trespassing. We need to take a hike or something.

[heavenlyhoundoom]

Sun and Moon show incorrect quotes 4.

1.Moon: I just watched Bloodmoon jump off of a spinning chair. Luckily, he wasn't hurt that badly. But the whole time, Lunar was screaming for help, which caused Earth to run in to help Bloodmoon. Just note that all of this happened in the span of six minutes.

2.Eclipse: You know, people treat me like a god. Bloodmoon: How? Eclipse: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

3.Earth: How long do you reckon it’ll be until Sun finally snaps and commits murder? Bloodmoon: I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to him.

4.Lunar: It smells like henway in here. Moon: Sun: Moon. Sun, forcefully: Doesn't it smell like henway in here? Moon: sigh Moon: What's a henway? Lunar: OH ABOUT TEN POUNDS!

5.Moon, as a child, reading their school assignment out loud: I love my library because… Moon, mouthing words while writing: I love reading, fuck you.

6.Earth: What's your greatest fear? Ruin: Being forgotten. Earth: … Earth: Damn, that's deep. Earth: Mine is the Kool Aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now…

7.Bloodmoon: I have a plan. Lunar: I have the hospital and Sun on speed dial.

8.Earth: What's worse than a heartbreak? Lunar: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. Moon: Waking up in the morning. Ruin: Waking up. Bloodmoon: Waking up in the morning… Bloodmoon: And seeing Eclipse. Eclipse: Hey! Rude!!

9.Ruin: I hate how you're just born out of nowhere, and you're forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job. What if I wanted to be a duck? No one ever asked me if I want to be a duck!

10.Sun: Yesterday, I overheard Moon saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Bloodmoon replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

11.Sun: So, what are we doing? Moon: Wasting our lives. Sun: I meant for lunch…

12.Lunar, learning how to drive: What happens if I press the gas and the brake at the same time? Bloodmoon: The car takes a screenshot. Eclipse: For the last time, get the fuck out!

13.Bloodmoon: It's not like I try to blow things up, exactly. It just sort of happens. You've got to admit though, fire is fascinating.

14.Ruin: PEASANT. I REQUIRE SUSTENANCE. Eclipse: You know there are other ways to say you want McDonalds. Ruin: FOUL PLEBEIAN. YOU DARE SPEAK AGAINST ME— Eclipse: sigh What do you want? Ruin: Chicken nuggets please.

15.Moon: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces. Moon: waves their finger and sings like they're in a Disney Channel intro

16.Eclipse: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Eclipse: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Moon: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that? Eclipse: Ominous positivity.

17.Ruin: gets a text Oh! It’s Bloodmoon. Eclipse, excitedly: Did they get me the stuff? Ruin: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood. Eclipse: Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood? Ruin: You wanted fake blood? Eclipse: Ruin: I’ll go call Bloodmoon.

18.The squad is playing a team sport Sun: Are you upset you don’t get to be on the same team as Eclipse? Bloodmoon: Have you ever played a game with Eclipse? Sun: No… Bloodmoon: Have you ever been trapped in a cage with a wolverine? Meanwhile, on the other side of the field Eclipse, chasing Moon: I SAID FASTER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORD “FASTER” MEANS? IT MEANS MORE FAST!!!!

19.Sun: Hey, how did my phone break? Eclipse: You were drunk yesterday. Sun: And? Moon: You threw it. Sun: Why? Ruin: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!” Sun: And why didn’t you stop me?! Bloodmoon: We were busy laughing our asses off.

20.Eclipse: Are you trying to give me a fucking aneurysm? Bloodmoon: Pretty sure we all are. Earth: I wasn't. Moon: I was. Sun: I was trying to stop them, for your consideration. Ruin: I just cause aneurysms naturally.

[loosesodamarble]

Hello! Tis me again with another Nacht brain rot. Okay.. I got you, fam! This may have been used before I ain't sure but anyways-

Nacht is getting jealous of his little demon. His baby is just the sweetest thing, but in his mind, sweet to the wrong types of people or.. creature (*cough* his demons *cough*)

He's just glaring at one of his demons, the same one that he ordered to stay by his lover's side to protect her, because he came back to her feeding the little demons sweets from her hands. Oh, he's smiling when she's looking... he's silently plotting the little demon's death. Or he finds that certain demon, being cuddled by his lover, instead of "protecting" her. Yes, he ordered the demon to be close to her. But. HOW DARE IT TAKE HIS SPOT?!

After noticing his mood, how does his lover react? Easy. You don't get to leave his arms for a full week. He doesn't care if he has to go inside your shadow for when you need "privacy" he's coming with you everywhere. Cuddles? Yes. Kisses? Yes. Hugs? Yes. Training? Oh, he's making help him. How? You're standing there looking pretty. Leading the black bulls? They can wait. HE CAN'T.

Note: His baby doesn't mind being affectionate, so.. his baby just gives him the affection and doesn't mind at all when he's clingy. Of course, he does this out of sight. God forbid that he does this in public where the rest of the squad could see him.

I will be someone who always wants to see Nacht's significant other also be affectionate with the Bremen devils. Gimodelo, Plumede, Slotos, and Walgner are just little guys who deserve love too. They are Nacht's... Friends? Pets? They're special to Nacht, and that's what matters. So I honestly can't imagine Nacht viewing his devils in a negative light. Sure, Nacht might've said to Asta that devils have no principles or are evil, but he has a special little exception for his special little guys~!

But still... That doesn't stop Nacht from being a selfish person and wanting his lover's affection to focus mostly on him. There'd be more than a twinge of jealousy from Nacht if he were to see his lover feeding Gimodelo by hand.

"Gimodelo can feed himself, dear," Nacht would comment and his s/o would reply that they're having fun feeding the devils. And if the devils are napping while cuddled up with Nacht's lover, he gives them a rude awakening (literally and figuratively) to say that they can't protect anyone if they're napping on the job. Nacht does care for Gimo and the others but it'd be a lie to say that he didn't care for his lover more.

Sorry devils. Nacht's a fool in love.

And when the jealousy gets the better of Nacht... AAAAHHHHH! He wants to just stay by his sweetie's side and soak in all the love and affection from them. He wants to dote on and smother them with his own love. But also Nacht doesn't want to come off as clingy! He's trapped between his jealousy and pride!

.....

And funnily enough I wrote an incorrect quote about the idea of Nacht having to share his significant other (in this case my oc Josele) with the Bremen devils.

[yupuffin]

Okay Okay- so I'm updating Caladin's Voicelines and realized I didn't have one for Quay????

So now I'm rifling through all the incorrect quotes we've all done because I'm ninety percent sure Cal and Valerian got lectured by quay from trying to lick a fossilized octopus or something and now I need to write a voiceline about Cal just happily listening to Quay ramble about marine life????

Basically, I need ideas on what Quay would ramble about the Caladin would add to his ever growing list of "fun" facts.

O: Thank you!

Oh, excellent! 😆 Thankfully you have plenty of topics to choose from, as Quay (and by Quay I mean me) has no shortage of marine biology lectures to share. 😛

I hope I'm not too late! I waited until I got home from work to give this elaboration the attention it deserves 😆

I believe this particular conversation you're thinking of was when I mentioned that, during beach shenanigans with #the rock lickers in Rinascita, Quay would point them to something that is not rock nor bone, but a secret third thing: a mollusc called a chiton that does indeed look quite a bit like a rock, though they're not sessile (attached to the seafloor/rock surface) and can actually move -- granted, they return to the exact same space after each trip, using mechanisms that still haven't been studied and hence can only be theorized currently.

...So that's a pretty decently-sized ramble already 🤣 (And I haven't even gotten to pontificate about gumboot chitons yet!) But other options you may encounter upon prompting Quay for fun facts include:

Fish have a mechanosensory organ system called a lateral line that basically allows them to map out their surroundings via touch by feeling movements and vibrations in the water (this is my go-to fun fact)

Seabird identification! I never know what specifically to pick for this because I'm only really familiar with birds found around the Pacific Ocean, whereas with Rinascita based in Italy, Quay canonically would probably know more about birds found in Europe and near the Atlantic Ocean. But it's all imaginary/fantasy anyway (I mean, there's plenty of examples of anatopistic bird calls being used in video game soundtracks and such), so I suppose it doesn't matter too much 😛 But if you need a specific fact: the ancient murrelet is the only member of the auk family found in the Pacific Northwest region of the United States with a wing chord of less than 15cm.

Beached bird events in general. This would depend on how comfortable Quay's conversation partner is with discussions of dead things/animal death, but if given the green light, Quay will almost certainly ramble about the big seabird die-off event a few years ago or that one time he found an albatross carcass on the beach.😛

That should be plenty to pick from, I hope! 😆 Quay's definitely the timid and quiet type of guy who doesn't talk or socialize much, but once you (in this case, Caladin) clear the hurdle of earning his trust, it's not hard to coax a story (or a few) out of him.