#SHE knows her boundaries and SHE made them perfectly clear | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

justlemmeadoreyou · 2 months

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Hii bestie!! Can i request a blurb idea?? Like H has a friend who is very flirty with H nd whenever reader said something about that girl H saying like no she just being friendly nd reader is really insecure nd H found out that girl is really mean to reader too, so he confront that girl nd then he console reader that she is only girl for him!! (So sorry for this long idea no pressure about writing this)

Nd I love all your lil stories ahh I'm obsessed!💗

noo lovie don't apologize! thank you for sending this in!

nothing but you

words: 1.4k+

warnings: mentions of jealousy, insecurities, cursing, crying, kissing. some inappropriate behaviour.

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"Mmm, you look so good today, Harry," Emma purred, letting her hand trail down Harry's arm as he walked into class.

Y/N frowned from her seat across the room, watching the shamelessly flirtatious interaction between her boyfriend and his friend. Emma was constantly touching Harry or making suggestive comments, and it made Y/N's insides twist with jealousy and insecurity.

"Thanks, I guess?" Harry said awkwardly, gently removing Emma's hand from his arm as he took his seat next to Y/N. He leaned over to give his girlfriend a quick peck on the cheek. "Morning, babe."

Emma rolled her eyes dramatically at the affectionate gesture. "Oh please, get a room you two," she commented with a fake gag.

Y/N felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment and irritation. She reached under her desk to give Harry's hand a squeeze, needing the reassuring contact.

After class, Emma sidled up to Harry as they walked down the hallway together. "So Harry, I was thinking we could go over that English lit homework tonight? Maybe grab a bite to eat too, make a nice study night of it?"

She fluttered her eyelashes at him coyly. Y/N felt a flare of jealousy in her chest as she walked slightly behind them. She knew Emma's "study nights" with Harry were really just thinly veiled attempts to monopolize his time and flirt relentlessly.

"Oh um, I can't tonight actually. Y/N and I had plans," Harry replied, gesturing to Y/N hovering nearby. He draped his arm casually around her shoulders, pulling her in close.

Emma's perfectly plucked eyebrows raised skeptically. "You two seem to have an awful lot of 'plans' lately. Hmm, well let me know when you have a free night for your friend Emma again, 'kay Harry?" She blew him an air kiss before sashaying off down the hallway.

Y/N scowled after her retreating figure as Harry pressed a kiss to her hair. "Don't let her get to you, babe. You know I only have eyes for you."

"I know, I know," Y/N sighed, leaning into his side. "I just can't stand how disrespectful she is towards our relationship. She flirts with you constantly, even right in front of me!"

Harry frowned, hating to see her so upset and insecure. "Hey, you're right, that's not cool of her at all. Let me talk to Emma and set her straight, make it clear her behavior is out of line."

Y/N managed a small smile at that, feeling a little better that Harry was taking her concerns seriously. "Okay, thanks love. I don't like making things awkward or uncomfortable, but that girl just has no boundaries."

Over the next few days, Y/N tried her best to brush off Emma's suggestive comments and blatant flirting whenever she was around Harry. She trusted that Harry was loyal and committed to her. But it was still hard not to feel a prickle of jealousy and hurt whenever Emma ran a hand through Harry's hair or giggled over-dramatically at his jokes.

Things came to a head one day at lunch when Emma plopped herself down on Harry's lap in the middle of the cafeteria, throwing her arms around his neck.

"You're just so strong and cuddly, Harry. Don't you two make the cutest couple?" she said with a saccharine smile, shooting Y/N a smug look.

Harry looked bewildered and vaguely uncomfortable as he gently tried to disentangle Emma's limbs from around him. "Uh Emma, what are you doing? You know I'm dating Y/N…"

"Oh don't be like that, silly! I'm just being a friendly, affectionate pal," Emma insisted with a giggle, snuggling even closer.

Y/N had had enough. She stood up abruptly, slamming her hand down on the table as tears burned in her eyes. "That's it! You need to stop with this inappropriate, gross behavior right now Emma! Can't you see how awful and disrespectful you're being?"

Harry's eyes widened in surprise at Y/N's outburst, her hurt and jealousy finally bubbling over. Emma at least had the decency to look vaguely sheepish as she reluctantly slid off Harry's lap.

"Woah, okay sorry…didn't realize I was making you so upset Y/N. I was just messing around," Emma said with an exaggerated pout.

"No, you weren't just messing around! You're always all over my boyfriend, making comments, touching him without any boundaries! It's humiliating and awful, and you need to stop right now," Y/N said fiercely, angry tears spilling down her cheeks.

She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the cafeteria, needing to get away before she completely lost it in front of everyone. Harry watched her go with a pained expression before turning to Emma with barely concealed fury.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Emma? Did you really think it was okay to continuously disrespect my relationship like that? Y/N is my girlfriend - the love of my life! And you've just been relentlessly trying to make her jealous and upset this whole time?"

Emma at least had the decency to look slightly abashed, though she quickly tried to cover it with a nonchalant shrug.

"Oh come on Harry, we were just having a bit of fun! You know I'm an affectionate person, no need to read into it so much."

"Fun? Fun?!" Harry sputtered incredulously. "You've been purposely trying to make the girl I love feel horrible about herself, all because you can't handle the fact that I'm not interested in you like that!"

He shook his head in angry disbelief, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "You know what, I think we both need to just cool off right now before I say something I might regret. But you seriously need to reevaluate how you've been acting before I'm willing to even try being your friend again."

With that, Harry stood up and hurried out of the cafeteria to go find Y/N, leaving Emma looking uncharacteristically flustered behind him.

It took a bit of searching, but Harry finally found Y/N tucked away in a quiet corner of the library, trying to hide the fact that she'd been crying. He felt like a total jerk for letting Emma's behavior go on for so long without calling her out on how much it was hurting Y/N.

"Y/N? Oh babe, hey…" Harry said softly, crouching down next to where she was curled up. He gently brushed away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs, cradling her face in his hands.

"I am so, so sorry for letting Emma treat you like that," he said, staring into her eyes intently. "It was inappropriate as hell, and you were right to call her out. I should've shut that shit down ages ago instead of brushing it off as harmless flirting."

Y/N gave a small sniffle, leaning into his warm touch as she stared back at him with shimmering eyes. "I-It's okay, it's not your fault. I know you'd never cheat or purposely hurt me. It's Emma who has the problem, not you."

"Still," Harry insisted, brushing his lips across her forehead. "I hate that I made you feel so insecure or like I wasn't a hundred percent committed to you. The truth is, you're the love of my life, Y/N. My soulmate. I never want to be with anyone else, ever."

Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat at his earnest declaration. She searched his eyes, finding nothing but absolute sincerity reflected back at her. A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips.

"Yeah? The love of your life, huh?" she teased lightly, feeling some of the tension easing out of her body.

Harry grinned crookedly at her, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against hers. "Mmhmm, without a single doubt in my mind. And don't you ever let Emma or anyone else make you question how special and amazing you are to me."

He kissed her then, slow and deep, putting every ounce of his feelings into the embrace of his lips on hers. When they finally pulled apart, Y/N felt slightly dazed and giddy, all her previous hurt and anger towards Emma momentarily forgotten.

"I love you so much, Harry," she whispered, resting her forehead against his.

"And I love you," Harry murmured fervently. "More than you'll ever know, my gorgeous girl."

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mrs-snape5984 · 10 days

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“There is no other love, it's only yours…”

“You're all I want, all I love…” (“You’re all I want” by Cigarettes after Sex)

Yesterday I had a really rough day. It didn’t just feel like one of my regular “PEM-Crash-Days” (PEM = post-exertional malaise = the worsening of symptoms after crossing the boundaries of my condition, due to my disease ME/CFS). The whole day was also coated in a thick layer of sadness and grief…an emotional turmoil, which I could only barely endure. Well…mixing these feelings with another wave of fever and pain, seasoned with the incapacity of tolerating screen time, adding the suffocating sensation of loneliness….et voilà! The perfect recipe for a day in hell was created! 🙄

In order to cope with my emotions, I found myself drowning in my fantasies of teenage Severus and my undeniably self-inserted OC Jules…rewriting one of their short fictional scenes. Again, Severus was tormented by his own insecurities, getting carried away in self-loathing. I don’t know, how many times I’ve already written scenes like these. Jules encourages Severus to stay resilient, praising him for all those traits, which he only identifies as his flaws and weaknesses. But for Jules, there’s so much beauty, so much strength in his imperfections. She’s making his blemishes look like the most loveable attributes of Severus’ personality with her passionate speech.

When I wrote this little scene, I recognised something: I already knew, that I’m identifying myself a lot with Severus…but Jules’ words of encouragement and consolation to her beloved friend Sevy…well, they’re are also things, I would crave to hear for myself (how pathetic, huh?!). But since I’m struggling immensely with the acceptance of my own insecurities and fears, I’m not able to reassure myself of my own worth. It’s just not on the table for me!

So…I’ll just keep on telling Severus in my stories, that he deserves nothing less than the whole world…and that Jules will always try to make him feel loved and cared for. She will never stop to compare his flaws with her own weaknesses by explaining to him, how perfectly they’re matching. Jules will never grow tired to assure Severus, that his cynicism is the perfect complement to her sense of sarcasm. For the Slytherin girl, it's a clear sign for Sevy’s extremely high intellect, which is also something, that she adores about her friend. In Jules’ eyes, his bitterness mirrors a form of hypersensitivity, a characteristic, which she knows so well from herself. That’s why she’s acting so empathetically with Severus, whenever he’s suffering with his life…and Jules is convinced, that sharing those feelings will make them less unbearable! The girl even praises Severus’ stubbornness by telling him, that she’s enjoying every good and intelligent argument with him to clear the air between them. All together, Severus’ imperfections are pure perfection to the hopelessly devoted (and obviously love-struck 😅) girl.

I’m aware of the overdramatic nature and the unnecessary fluffiness of my short stories, but that’s the reason, why I’m writing them for my eyes only. It’s my form of a coping mechanism…the only way of allowing myself some kind of self-assurance and comfort…through Severus!

Some time ago, I found an artist here on tumblr, who made me fall head over heels for her tender style of drawing my beloved dungeon bat. Especially an artwork of her interpretation of the younger Snape made my heart ache with longing for him, so of course, I just had to commission @pssherri for an illustration of Severus and my OC Jules in their teenage years.

Sonja, you did an amazing job with this project and I can’t express, how grateful I am for your kindness and the dedication to your profession! It was a pleasure to cooperate with you on this idea of mine and I hope, you’ll be open to work on more of my requests some day. Thank you for everything, my dear!

🖤Severus & Julia🖤

🖤Sevy & Jules🖤

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caligvlasaqvarivm · 2 months

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Hello resident Eridan expert! 0u0 I was wondering if you thought he might get on well with Aradia? Thank you for your time!

Actually yes! In moderate doses. After Eridan's character development. The list I like to keep of his platonic friends, from most to least close to him, is like.

Nepeta -> Dirk -> Feferi -> Vriska -> Aradia -> Other

So I already talked about how he and Nepeta seem like they'd actually make for really good friends - the Heart player who can't help but see the good in him, and Eridan liking nice people and the fact that the two of them have a lot in common. I've also made mention before about how I think he and Dirk would have an extremely lethargic, almost transactional bro-ship where they sometimes beat each other to death. A completely neutral friendship, where they do not make each other better OR worse, they just help each other take the edge off the Prince Ennui. Using extreme violence.

He and Feferi are also not so different, and, honestly, they're childhood friends. She's pretty fond of him, and he's TOO fond of her, but after his character development and he fully gets over her, I think they'd be perfectly decent friends. He and Vriska have much the same deal, but I think their personalities mesh slightly worse than his and Feferi's.

If you're wondering why Kanaya isn't on this list, it's because she hates his dumb ass and always has. I think Eridan thinks he's really good friends with Kanaya. Kanaya has literally never respected Eridan even a little bit. Same with Rose. It's really funny.

So Aradia is kind of the last person out of the characters that I think I'd emphatically call "Eridan's Friend." Everyone covered in "other" tends to be people who are everybody's friend (like John) or basically tolerant of his behavior in small doses (like Dave).

With Aradia specifically, there's a few factors to consider; first of all, she has a pretty negative view of highbloods in general, calling them "hateful sn0bs" at one point. She's a lot more tolerant as the stewardess of the afterlife, because Alternia's gone and everyone else is dead, but I think it should still stand that she'd be sensitive to anti-casteist sentiment, since casteism colored so much of her life back when she was, y'know, alive.

But the reason I think they'd work as friends is because Aradia has a bluntness and straightforwardness about her that happens to mesh well with Eridan's suite of issues. He's actually fairly easy to manage if you're fully honest with him and set and maintain very clear boundaries, because he doesn't catch social cues, but also doesn't really see naked hostility, bluntness, or aggression as bad things.

And Aradia can be viciously sarcastic, but her natural tendency is to be very blunt and honest and call things the way she sees them. This means that if she's ever too annoyed by Eridan, she will let him know that as bluntly as humanly possible, and then happily fuck off, with Eridan generally no worse for the wear (although he may have a negative reaction in the moment. But Aradia's self-possessed enough to not really give a shit as long as she's not in the wrong).

The main issue between them is that I think Aradia would believe Eridan IS a nasty, casteist highblood, unless somehow given reason to interact with him for an extended period of time. Eridan didn't really talk to the lowbloods, and the two generally had no reason to interact, so she'd basically have no reason NOT to believe him when he starts spewing bullshit. Moreover, Eridan's the type of aggressive idiot that would outright admit that if they'd FLARPed together, there was every chance she'd wind up orphaned or dead (this is just a neutral fact to him), and then comment that maybe it wouldn't have mattered because she wound up dead anyway (again, just a neutral observation to him). Writing Eridan mostly consists of coming up with words that make you cringe.

Aradia is smart enough that I think any extensive conversation or time spent with him would make her realize how performative his casteist stuff is, and how little he actually cares about blood color. Since she generally never had reason to interact or care about him before (not even her friends are friends with him), this would pretty much shift her opinion from "idgaf about him, seems like a snob like the rest of the highbloods" to "oh... he's funny as hell. what's wrong with him".

Once she figures out that he genuinely doesn't mean any harm or offense by the awful dumb shit he says, I think she'd be willing to engage with him on mutual interests (they both FLARPed, so they're presumably both roleplayers, and they could probably bond over death - something Eridan is unfortunately obsessed with and Aradia doesn't have many discussion partners over). Emotionally, she'd probably keep him at arm's length - he has a lot of Issues and Problems, and she's not really interested in helping him handle them (she doesn't really bother with trying to cheer people up on the bubbles so much as just explaining what they can do now that they're dead, and letting them make their own decisions). Not that she isn't a nice person, but I do think it'd just be kind of difficult for her to have too much sympathy for a guy whose problems were largely caused by being too aristocratic.

But, like, she would also pretty happily call him "her friend," because she always cuts it short when it gets too real for her, minimizing her negative experiences with him. I think eventually, like training a dog, Eridan would figure out that Aradia is just Not The Friend For That, so it'd become less of a problem as time goes on.

She thinks he's ridiculous and funny, calls him up when she wants to infodump on someone and her usual buddies aren't around, and I think they'd play good DnD together with Nepeta and Vriska. Yeah I know Vriska killed her but she killed Vriska so they're even. The energy at the table is deeply weird but Eridan wouldn't notice and Aradia would get a kick out of it, leaing poor Nepeta to suffer it alone.

Anyway, I love that Eridan's assortment of platonic friendships is so haphazard. Nepeta AND Feferi, who hate each other. Vriska AND Aradia, who killed each other. And also Dirk is there. He's the DM.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #aradia megido

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yandere-romanticaa · 1 year

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I can't stop imagining sugar daddies Ayato and Childe and sugar mommy Yelan, goodness me. They all have their similarities but are also different. It comes in layers y'know?

Ayato fits into the archetype almost perfectly - born and raised rich, he finds you on the street and takes you in as his plaything. You do various favors and entertain him while he clothes you, feeds you and spoils you. Anything you even see let alone mention is yours, there is no competition. Word spreads fast through the entirety of Inazuma of the Yashiro Commissioner's little plaything and many are eager to see you for themselves. Ayato loves to show you off but he's sadly not as patient and sly as he likes to think when it comes to you. There is no one in Inazuma who could ever be better than him, he knows this. And yet he still can't stand the thought of another undressing you with their eyes, let alone hands.

Archons help him if anyone even tried because he would have them chopped off right there on the spot.

Kamisato Ayato is awfully possessive of his toy. He expects nothing but loyalty from you. If he tells you that the sky is green and the rain is actually the gods crying you better believe him. It's the least you could do.

Yelan and Childe would have very similar attitudes towards their baby. Both individuals are so incredibly busy so they're rarely home but they make sure to send you all the money you could ever dream of.

Once they're back from their respective trips all they want is to bask in your attention.

Yelan wants to eat and drink with you as she listens to you babble about your day to day life. She of course made very clear boundaries in the start that this relationship is purely transactional but that line blurs the more time she spends with you. With her insane connections you could never leave, don't even bother.

But Childe? Geez, he's less a sugar daddy and more a doting boyfriend. Really, there is no line to blur as there was none to begin with. Chances are you're just using him as a walking wallet but he really doesn't mind, the only condition he has for you is to stay. No matter how gruesome and bloody things get, you cannot leave.

That is his one and only rule.

🥀 TAGS: @genshinarchives, @b10h4z4rd, @xiaopleasecomehome, @alatusprinz, @mayulli @mod-kisa-blog, @kalopses-sonderes, @juuuuuj101010, @cc-6789, @yumekos-gamble

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heyidkyay · 3 months

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Eighteen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Hey!! Finally here with another part! This one took a while to write but it's here now. Hoping you enjoy it:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

He’d been pacing on the phone for quite a while now.

Back and forth up the long and narrow pavement sat outside of the small cafe we’d chosen just off the highstreet. His feet skimmed the curb every few steps, I noted, his brow furrowed and lips pursed too whenever he rattled something back to whoever it was on the other end.

“Eggy, mama?”

I blinked at the sudden voice, tearing my eyes away from the window and Matty, and back over to where my food-happy toddler sat in the adjoining highchair.

With a fond smile, I shook my head at his proffered bit of hard boiled egg.

See, Matty had fancied a couple of soldiers when we’d first walked in, forgetting all about his earlier promises of bacon, and Teddy had unsurprisingly followed his lead. Looking down at his plate now, I was pleasantly pleased to find that he’d eaten the majority of it.

“I’m okay, Teds. Thank you though.” I told him, wiping a few breadcrumbs from his cheek with a napkin before tickling the underneath of his chin, “You’re such a sweet boy, you know?”

He bared his teeth at me in a giant grin, “Very much, ta.”

Chuckling lightly at his silly reply, I shook my head once more, “Back at it with the ta, are we?”

Teddy replied with only a stern nod and a wrinkle of his mouth, then dug back into his breakfast again, content to just watch Matty and the few cars that passed by the window.

It was a strange concept for me to wrap my head around- the whole Teddy and Matty thing, I mean.

Teddy had always been an affectionate kid, a bit shy with newcomers and strangers at times, but his heart was huge and he had a lot of love to go around. Still, with that being said, the dynamic he’d struck up with the curly headed singer was unlike anything I’d ever witnessed from him before.

With Adi, Teddy was always perfectly content to find new extremes and test them. Pushing boundaries and buttons simply because Ads was the biggest pushover known to man- at least when it came to him.

Each moment Adi spent with Teddy she always ended up looking spent by the time she was about to head home, almost like he’d gone and dragged her through a circus tent full of performers and animals alike.

Then there was Finn. Finn had been a constant presence in Teddy’s life since the day he was born, he was my best friend and was always there to lend a helping hand whenever I needed it. The two of them were close in their own way, Teds felt comfortable with Finn, he didn’t question his authority or throw a fit when the man put his foot down, but whenever I was around the pair of them together Teddy made it quite clear that Finn was the third wheel amongst the lot of us.

Which was funny in its own way, I supposed, because I knew how Teddy looked at me. I was his mum, sure, but I was also his dad, too. Merely in the sense that Teds had never looked to anyone else to fill that role for him, I was what he had been given and I was all that he needed.

Yes, there had been the odd question or two when Teddy had finally started to understand films and tv shows, and again when he had started nursery school and seen all of the other kids with their mums and dads. But he had taken my honest answers on the chin and shrugged off any other prompts I’d had for him afterwards, as though he was perfectly untroubled by it all and the fact that he only had a single parent.

Then again, a few of the kids in his class faced similar problems.

Oliviette had only ever really known her dad, since her mum had sadly passed when she’d been too little to remember. Tury’s father worked in the military, or something of the sort, and was divorced from their other father. He went away for long stretches at a time and had only ever come to pick them up once in all the time that we’d been in attendance.

Zara was another young mum like me, we’d bonded over that fact a couple weeks into the school year when a few of the other parents had wondered over the whereabouts of our partners and then turned up their noses at us when they’d received their answer.

Which led me straight back on over to my anxieties about Teddy, and how he might come to soon view Matty. As well as the question on whether Matty could even handle being seen in that sort of light, or if he’d run swiftly for the hills with his tail tucked between his legs.

These worries had started up quite quickly after seeing those articles we’d faced earlier in the week, which had only added fuel to the fire for me. Some of the headlines still haunted me and my waking thoughts, in truth. They flashed through my mind on a giant billboard sort of screen, visible for all to see.

JUNKIE ROCKSTAR TURNED FAMILY MAN!

A NEW LINE DRAWN FOR HEALY?

THE 1975 SINGER AND HIS HIDDEN FAMILY..

It was both a startling and terrifying experience to suddenly start considering the opinions and views of the entire world around you, which now appeared to be watching us under a microscope, reading into each and every move not just Matty and I made, but Teddy now too.

It was ultimately why I had run and hidden when it had all come out, choosing to avoid the whole situation at hand rather than face it head on and be met with a plethora of questions I hadn’t yet thought about.

But then Matty just had to have gone and sent me that fucking demo.

I’d been all but putty in his hands after that really.

And the very thought of not just the previous night, but this morning too, had me flushing in the middle of the cafe Matty had taken us out to. ‘My treat,’ He’d said, and it had all felt so natural. Him being in my bed, in my shower, in my house, around my kid.

I heaved a heavy sigh before picking up my mug of tea, wrinkling my nose in distaste when I found it had gone cold. It made me wonder just how long I had been lost in thought.

That question was answered for me though when Matty came strolling back over, the crease in his brow there and then gone when he took to his seat once more and caught eyes with Teddy. He flashed the boy a bright smile, “Enjoyin’ that, monster?”

Grimly, Teddy opened his mouth up wide to show Matty just how much he had enjoyed his breakfast and laughed when Matty mimicked the expression, the man leaning in close enough that Teddy could only laugh giddily.

“Made a big enough mess of it.” I commented with a soft smile.

Even with all my fretting I still couldn’t get over the way Matty treated my son and how Teddy responded to him in turn. It was incredibly surreal.

When I’d first gotten pregnant and decided to go it alone all those years ago, I thought that had been it for me. That there was no way any person, let alone anyone in Matty’s position, would just come along and be able to deal with the fact that I had a child. This whole other being that would always fall above everything else.

But here that somebody was.

Sat with my toddler, looking at him almost the exact same way I did. With such adoration and emotion.

The sight made my heart both lurch and crumble all at once.

I pulled myself out of my head once more with that thought and tuned back in to find our waitress making her way over again. She was a sturdy looking woman, not much older than my mum if I had to guess, and had taken more than liking to the messy toddler she’d been shafted with early this morning, “Anything else I can get for you, lovelies?”

I opened my mouth to tell her that we were fine, seeing as though Teddy was all but finished, just chewing on a few pieces of buttered bread, and my sandwich was merely straggling bits of crust now.

“Would be great if you could get us another round of drinks to go?” Matty piped up before I could answer her, circling a finger between the two of us. “Cheers.”

The waitress dipped her head at him and flashed a warm smile my way, “One tea and a strong flat white coming your way then.”

I was surprised that she’d recalled our order so easily, since I’d noted earlier that there were a few other patrons she’d been serving, and so I thanked her gratefully with another smile before she walked away, arms laden with a few of our used plates.

“You didn’t have to,” I said to Matty shortly after, then dipped my chin down towards my remaining cup, “But thank you anyway, this had gone cold.”

Matty rolled his eyes, a gesture he was rather prone to using whenever he thought I was being unnecessary, but then shuffled over to settle more comfortably in the seat opposite me, leaving his phone to rest on the table between us.

“Sorry I was long, but after management, Jamie rang.” He confessed to me, and that scowl of his appeared for a split second or two before disappearing completely when he glanced back over at Teds, who was now playing with his food rather than eating it.

It was almost automatic the way Matty moved to steal the backpack hanging off the arm of the chair perched beside him, pulling out a few of the baby wipes I usually kept there before beginning to clean up Teddy’s face and hands.

I could only stare on in utter bewilderment, watching it all play out even whilst Matty continued to speak to me, clearly none the wiser to the way my brain had just short circuited at his actions.

“Anyway, they’re on it- or so they’ve said. But I know this whole thing is just a charade to them, yeah? Management, I mean. Not J. ‘Cause he’s already said that he’s trying to keep them from going too extreme with the whole clean up, claiming that they appeared to be warming up to the idea of me becomin’ this ‘changed man’ or some shite.” Matty scoffed with a roll of his eyes at the very thought, then pulled a face for Teddy who admonished him for his use of a ‘bad word’, and cleared away some of the mess that had been created whilst he’d been gone.

I swallowed thickly at the sight, thankful for the moment of reverie I was gifted when our waitress shuffled back on over, two to-go cups in hand as well as the bill.

“Ah, are we all clean then?” She cooed down at Teddy, moving to grab the last of what remained at our table to take back to the kitchen with her.

Her expression brightened when Teddy not only shot her a mischievous grin, but also wiggled his fingers up to show her just how clean they were. Matty snorted.

The woman peered between the two of us afterwards, plates tucked into the crook of her elbow whilst both of our previous mugs sat cradled in the other. “You’re a lucky pair, he’s absolutely golden.”

My pulse spiked at her words, or rather what she’d interpreted our little excursion as, but before I could think to offer an explanation, or anything rather, she was already shuffling away again. Teddy batting a hand at her back in goodbye.

My gaze slowly drifted away from her retreating form and over to where Matty was now slouched, but he didn’t seem to have noticed her words, or perhaps he just didn’t care. Still, I blinked slowly at him, “Did you hear that? Did you hear what she just said?”

He pulled his eyes away from a now babbling Teddy and shrugged slowly, “Yeah?”

Yeah??

Sorry, come again?

Had I actually heard him right?

I almost choked on the force of my next inhale. “That’s it? Just- yeah?”

Matty stared back at me, expression almost blank- calculating, in truth. As though he was trying to determine which of his next words had the ability to set me off even further. I sort of hated that.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked me slowly, elbows moving up onto the table’s top and pressing against it to lean in closer to me.

His eyes never left my own, and it was then that I noticed the sturdy wall behind them that I thought had crumbled between us so long ago. He was wary now, building it back up again in hopes that I wouldn’t wound him- anymore than you already had, my mind unhelpfully supplied.

I licked at my lower lip, mostly in thought but also because my throat had suddenly gone dry at the very reminder.

It had been necessary, I told myself. Space and time, that was all that we had needed, and look at us now!

Look at us…

“I just,” I murmured, swallowing thickly whilst still staring into those hardened eyes which remained locked on mine, “It doesn’t bother you at all?”

That steely look softened when he snorted and the bricks in that wall of his began to chisel away at themselves once more.

Matty slumped and I watched on as his gaze flickered back over to my son, who was now much more interested in the straps of his highchair rather than either of us.

“Why would it?”

Matty’s words were as gentle as his tone and his smile was just as sweet, and all I could think about in that moment was the abating panic I felt and the sudden need I had for him.

Shouldn’t it? I wanted to press, it would bother a hundred other men. What makes you so different?

He glanced back at me then with a languid turn of his head, “Guess it just makes me feel worth something, even if it’s a mistake on her part.”

Matty must’ve seen the way my face fell so quickly at his words because he chuckled lowly and then gifted me a small but pivotal smile. He reached out to toy with the hand I’d been resting on the table, fingertips trailing over whitened knuckles.

“I’m just being honest, alright? He’s a good kid, anyone can see that. I mean she did, din’t she? And then, there’s you, Squeaks.” He dragged that last bit out, flipping my hand over so that he could trace the lines of my palm with the tips of his fingers. “You’re something else.”

I frowned slightly at his words, a little puzzled. Matty only laughed at the face I must’ve made before he finally took my hand wholly in his, thumb brushing over my ever rising pulse.

“If she reckons I could land someone like you long enough to have one of these little ones running round, well… Just makes me picture it, 'is all.”

I could feel the contents of my stomach whirl at his given answer and tightened my hold on Matty’s hand by a fraction, needing the certainty that he was in fact real. That what he had said was very much real too.

“Squeaks?” Matty pressed after a short while. I figured I must've been quiet too long for him to prompt an actual reaction from me. Either that, or he’d gotten bored of my gaping gob far too quickly.

I attempted to swallow around the hardened lump in my throat, but it was difficult. “Yeah, just-” I struggled to fathom the mere idea that he had thought about me in any scenario at all beyond the past six months we had shared. “You’ve actually thought about that?”

Matty rolled his eyes at me, and although his smile was warm, it held a fragment of uncertainty to it that told me all I needed to know.

“I’m getting old, darlin’. Normal to think about that kind of shit, ain’t it?”

That was a very Matty thing to say and my rapid pulse slowed a tad because of it, giving my poor pounding heart a break.

“Yeah, but with me, Matty.” I felt the need to stress, because it was only yesterday that everything had come to a head between us. It made me question how long he’d been holding off on me- had he been waiting, is that what this was? Had he been trying to get over whatever he felt for me? If so, what had changed his mind, or forced his hand?

He simply chuckled and shrugged, like it was no big deal.

“Yeah with you, Mouse.” Matty confirmed, squeezing my hand once more before letting go completely and swiftly getting up out of his seat to unclip Teddy from his highchair. “Wanna go pay with me then, little man?” He asked Teds and it was only when Teddy had been swept up into Matty’s awaiting arms and Matty had looked over at me to tell me he was going up to the till that I realised he had used my kid to escape the current conversation at hand.

I shook my head in disbelief and tried to steel myself into something a little more put together once he had left, instead of choosing the imminent breakdown my mind was rooting for. I couldn’t lose my shit with all these people around to bear witness. Because I could do that later, couldn’t I? In the comfort of my own home. Right now I just needed to…

Fuck, I could not actually believe that Matty had pictured a future with me. A. fucking. future.

One that was ours.

The same stupid man that had told me time and time again that he would get headaches simply from thinking of the next few days to come, that he hadn't seen much of a life for himself the older he’d gotten. Even with all the money and the fame.

My stomach was swarming again, just like it had done when I’d heard the demo for the first time.

I wondered, briefly, whether those butterflies of mine were instead moths merely looking for any source of warmth they could find, and if Matty could really be exactly that. My little bit of warmth.

“You coming then, Squeaks?”

I glanced up again to find Matty now grinning down at me, Teddy still bouncing happily on his hip and the spiderman backpack thrown halfheartedly over his right shoulder.

I gaped for a split second at the picture they painted and then nodded, smiling up at this maddening man with all the warmth I could possibly muster. Hoping that somehow, someday, that little dream of his came true.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

–

It had probably been one of the most content mornings Matty had had in a long time.

He knew that for a fact, but still felt stunted by it all the same.

It had been years since he’d woken up without the immediate dread, or the itching need for a fix that even now sometimes still jilted him awake. And the night previous? Well, he’d gone to bed thinking of tomorrow, hadn't he?

Stupidly, he wondered what his mum might make of that. If she’d be surprised, wary even. Or maybe just happy for him.

He’d been gifted some precious time and some precious people and he did not want to waste a single second of it. Although that could have hardly been avoided, what with the way management were constantly up his arse, hounding him incessantly about everything under the fucking sun.

The three of them had set off for food not long after he’d had a lapful of sleepy mouse first thing, they’d danced around one another whilst getting dressed, Matty watching as she brushed her hair and then catching her eye when he had attempted to wrangle an overenthusiastic toddler into his coat and boots.

Matty had walked hand in hand with Teddy all the way to his car, letting the kid jump his way down the few short steps from the house and up into the car seat he’d borrowed from Adam a week or so after Christmas. Mouse had snorted at his shitty parking job, then granted them a full blown crackle when she’d torn a parking ticket from his front window screen only to have found a real unfortunate note from an unhappy neighbour beneath it.

Apparently Matty had to work on his spontaneity if he didn’t want to end up falling out with the bloke who lived two doors down from her. Even as he winced, he reckoned the guy was still a fucking nobhead.

He’d driven down a couple of backroads, letting the radio play and rolling his eyes fondly whenever Squeaks deigned it necessary to comment on his driving- “It needs work, Matty. I mean, you almost took out three of those bollards!” “Ah, a bus! Bus, Matty! Bus!” “Are you actually aiming to kill us, or do you just reckon you're the next 007?”

Matty had managed to get them all there in one piece, like he knew he would, and led the two of them all the way to this odd-spot cafe he’d found a couple months prior.

It was a simple dive, tucked quietly away amongst the noise of London, and was almost always chock-full of white haired pensioners or folk who didn’t much care to note who he was.

They’d sat down, Matty taking his first chance to ask for one of them highchairs he typically saw little kids sat in at restaurants, and then they’d ordered; Mouse getting what she deemed was her morning usual, whilst Teddy had mimicked his own request.

It had been cute, Matty had to admit. Especially when Squeaks had shot her son a dubious look, stating that he hadn’t tried it before, what with her being too scared she’d plague him with salmonella or something of the sort from how shoddy her attention was with the passing of time. Matty promised to teach her.

The little tyke seemed to have enjoyed it though, all but ravishing the yolks from their casing and munching on the sliced bread til it had either disappeared or simply gone soggy.

The only interruption they had faced was the unexpected call from his management team, and then Jamie’s which had followed not a minute after.

It had been a right nightmare.

In fact, the whole of last week had been a total disaster. His team had been on his case the minute those articles had all been released, Twitter threads spiralling out of control and fans losing their minds over whether or not it was all fake or not.

And Matty, Matty had tried and failed not to let it get the best of him, but with that and the loss of Squeaks and Teddy, who had retreated almost entirely from his life. It had left him with a wound big enough for him to question everything.

Matty shook his head then, a shit attempt at ridding himself free from his neverending train of thought, and looked up with a soft smile when Mouse wandered back into the living room and handed him a brew.

He’d never been overly gone on tea, to be honest- coffee worked wonders and with hours like his, it was now a necessity. But hers? He could never say no to, which was rapidly becoming a habit now. So much so, in fact, that he’d noticed himself wanting one at the oddest times of the day; down at the studio, in a meeting, the middle of the night…

Yeah that last one had been fucking strange. Half three in the morning and he’d been up puttering around his kitchen unable to sleep once the idea had taken root in his head and settled. Hadn’t been half as good as this though, Matty sighed thoughtfully as he sipped away.

“So…”

His eyes immediately flickered back up to meet her, sitting all pretty on the end of the couch, an arms width away. “So.” Matty mimicked, raising his eyebrows then smirking at the way she shuffled in her seat and tried to hide her growing smile.

“We should talk.”

That smirk of his slipped right off.

He coughed slightly to clear his throat, but mostly to buy himself some more time, and then decided to get it on over with, pushing his brew onto the coffee table so that he could better face her. “Right, okay.”

She was chewing on her lip, a habit she seemed to have had ever since he’d first known her, but one which continued to drive him half mad. Even more so now that he knew what it fucking felt like to have her under him.

His tongue swiped his bottom lip instinctively at the reminder of it.

“You said it too,” Mouse reminded him, sounding almost accusatory.

He had, but even so, it was still fucking awkward to just talk about shit. Couldn’t they skip to the good bit? Where he slowly took her apart piece by piece on the sofa she’d have to pass by day in and day out. A constant reminder of him even when he wasn't there.

“Matty.”

Matty blinked out of his daze at the call of his name and his eyes shot upwards to find her looking back at him with a furrowed brow.

“We don’t have to talk right this second, but I’d prefer if we did.” She told him with a slight shrug, eyes flickering away from him and across the room almost nervously. “‘Cause, at least I’d know where we stand, you know?”

Pursing his lips slightly, Matty tilted his head at her, “What’s that meant to mean?”

She shrugged again, sheepish almost, which wasn’t much like her. “Just, you’ve grown on me, Matty. I wouldn’t want to fuck up our.. friendship over something like this.”

Matty knew what she was getting at there and it did hurt a little bit to think that she reckoned he’d fuck up what they’d built, what she’d given him, for a quick shag or whatever it was she’d filled her head with.

But still, he gave her an impish grin once he’d shuffled his way a little closer, throwing an arm over the back of the settee. “Awh you finally admitting that we’re friends, Squeaks?” He teased and laughed when her foot flew out to toe his side.

“Bit more than that since yesterday.” Mouse murmured, giving him a snide smile before she released a heavy breath and settled her own mug down alongside his own on the tabletop. “But yes, we’re fucking friends, Matthew.”

Matty’s nose wrinkled but he didn’t comment on the use of his full name, instead stretching his fingers out to toy with the leg she had pressed against the back of the sofa. He lifted his eyes to watch her, saw how her own gaze rested on his hand and her knee.

“Good. Only took you, what? Six months.” He ragged but the smile he wore was pleased, dopey even. Stupid enough that he knew if one of his mates turned up and caught sight of it they’d probably rinse him to bits, claim he looked a right tit. But Matty couldn’t bring himself to care. Not then.

She rolled her eyes, but he noted how she was smiling now too.

“I’ve always thought you were fit, you know?”

A laugh escaped her then, brash and unforgiving. Matty would’ve been wounded had he not known her as well as he did. So instead he simply chose to flick her knee in harmless rebuke. “Don’t be a twat. You said you wanted to talk and I am. You’re fucking fit, Squeaks. Don’t let nobody tell you otherwise.”

She merely shook her head at him, the smallest smile limning that pretty mouth of hers.

“I’m being serious.” Matty tapped her knee twice with his fingertip, wanting her attention, “I wouldn’t lie to you, you know that.”

He recalled one of their earlier conversations and hoped that she somehow remembered, ‘I was raised by liars, can't stand lies.’

She licked at the corner of her mouth, eyes trained on him as though she was searching for something in his expression, but ultimately nodded when she didn’t appear to find it.

“Anyway,” Matty smirked, leaning his head against his shoulder and continuing to hold her eyes, “Yeah, so I walked in expecting the usual. Some yappy older bird, who reckoned she was above me and all my fucking shit. Or maybe even someone who’d break and fall back on what they’d said once they were stood facing me. But nah, just you.”

“Just me.” She chuckled in that easy lilt of hers that he’d always found so soothing. In truth, he could actually recall asking her question after question in those first few weeks after they’d met just wanting to hear her talk.

Matty dragged out a hum, “You don’t even know. As soon as you walked out I was on you like a hawk, I swear. Just watching as you walked over, could hardly take my eyes off your legs.”

She snorted, “My legs?”

With a grin, Matty caught her ankle with his free hand and dragged her leg into his lap. “Fucking killer.” He told her honestly, letting himself have this moment to trail his fingertips up and over her thigh. “Then you looked at me with those eyes,” Matty’s own shot up to find them once more and shook his head slightly, “Made me dizzy having your full focus. Never seen a pair so intense, like they’d been struck by lighting or something.”

She rolled those pretty eyes of hers then and Matty pinched her leg, “I’m being serious, Squeaks. One of my favourite things about you.”

Thankfully she glanced back over at him then, her cheeks a tad bit pink but her smile bright. “I like yours too, you sap.” Matty's expression must’ve given way to how he felt about that because she was all too quick to add, “Don’t get cocky about it.”

He chuckled, liking the fact she knew him too well, and finally let his hand rest on her upper leg, though his thumb continued to rub gentle circles into the curve just above her knee. “I obviously felt something, Squeaks. Why the fuck else would I show up outside your studio only days later?”

“‘Cause you’re a stalker?” She teased but had relaxed further into the settee, stretching her other leg out to join the one he held.

Matty ran his fingers up the underside of her foot in retaliation to that comment, “Brave.”

She snickered, “Thought you were just ‘in the area’?”

Matty bit back a grin at her use of his earlier words, remembering how he’d been brimming with nerves whilst waiting outside for someone to show.

“I was,” He sniffed, and was pleased when she simply laughed. “But the truth? I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about you.”

Her cheeks hollowed themselves out as she tried to dampen the growing grin that threatened to overwhelm her face. It broke his heart a bit to know she struggled believing him, that no one else had ever gone far enough to drill the fact that she was fucking beautiful into that thick head of hers, but Matty was nothing if not stubborn and he’d strive to always tell her just how gorgeous he thought she was.

“What was it with that girl then?” She mentioned and Matty immediately frowned, confused as to what she was even going on about. “Your ex.”

Matty felt himself blink, mind reeling as he tried to remember what the hell she was referencing, but then it hit him. “Oh, ohh!” Then he chuckled, unable to help it really, and couldn’t seem to prevent the way it then dissolved into a slightly uncontrollable fit of laughter.

She levelled him with a hearty scowl and went to remove her legs from his lap, obviously none too pleased about being laughed at, but Matty stopped her just before she could.

“No, no, Squeaks. Babe, you’ve got it all wrong.” He attempted to console even with his still amused smile, leaning in closer now, his hands settled on her calves. “That was just for the press! Management team reckoned it would be good to rebuild my image, and I wasn't long out of rehab. She and I always looked good together but fought like fucking cat and-”

He stopped short and she snorted, “Mouse?”

Matty squinted his eyes mockingly, “Yes, dickhead. But no, it was all fake. Was only with her fifteen minutes before she swanned off to a photoshoot or something. Harldy even fucking remember it.” He paused then, “Hang on, is that- Is that why you went all quiet on me back then? That time before I ran into you at that bar?”

The way she evaded his gaze told him all he needed to know and then he was laughing again.

“Shut up, you absolute prick.” She huffed after a minute or so, having grown fed up with being his main source of amusement, and swatted him with her foot in hopes it would get him to follow the order.

God, he’d never seen her look so embarrassed.

“It’s not funny. You never mentioned it either, so what was I supposed to think!”

“Uh, not that?” He suggested, still chuckling away but actively trying to get it under control, sort of. “I’m sorry!” He laughed again when she kicked him, “Honest! But the thought didn’t even cross my mind. And we were hardly even mates then!”

She looked chastised, “We were mates!”

He levelled her with a look.

She held out for a bit before she finally huffed, “Fine, it was rocky but even so.”

Matty snorted, “No, you know what? I sort of like this side of you.” He teased, wrapping his hands around both her ankles and tugging. “Suits you.”

She sent him a well deserving glare, which was fair, before she dug her heel into his upper thigh, far too close to his dick for his liking, and sat herself back up again. “You’re such a twat.”

“So I've been told.” He sang, though he then rubbed at his tender leg with a wry grimace, “Shit, remind me not to actually piss you off.”

Squeaks shot him a grin and relaxed back into their earlier position.

Her phone went off then and Matty watched on as she manoeuvred herself awkwardly around on the sofa to grab it from her back pocket without getting up. He raised a brow at her triumphant grin but she just looked down at the notification she’d gotten.

“Everything alright?”

She hummed, typing something off before looking back up at him and tucking the phone away again. “Just Finn, says he’s back home tomorrow and wants to see us.”

Right… the infamous Finn Matty had yet to actually meet.

“Where’s he been?” He asked, toying with the cuff of her jean leg.

“New York!” And the smile that she’d answered with told Matty a thousand things, “He had an auction up there or something, then ended up staying a few extra days to meet with this elusive client.”

“Shady.” He commented with a humoured smile, one he hoped would conceal his insecurities around the whole situation.

He’d heard a lot about Mouse’s best mate, and these worries weren’t just down to the fact that he’d yet to meet the bloke, but also because Finn seemed to be such a big figure in not just hers, but Teddy’s lives. He’d been away a lot in recent months and Matty wondered over whether his presence would throw a spanner into the works once he was finally let back into the fold.

“Very much so,” Mouse laughed, none the wiser to the chaos consuming his mind, “But I’m excited to see him, it’ll be good.”

Matty merely hummed.

She must’ve sensed some apprehension in it because she turned to tilt her head at him, playing with her fingers now. “Would-” She paused and Matty looked up to wait her out, she inhaled after a moment and then let the breath go, “Would you want to meet him? Or is that, I dunno, too fast?”

His forehead pinched and he shook his head. “No, not too fast.” He deemed, though he could’ve just lied and put off meeting the bloke for as long as he possibly could.

“I mean, we don’t have to put it in writing or anything.” Squeaks was quick to reply, “He’ll be around for a few weeks now, so we can just, I don’t know, work something out soon. Like meet at a cafe, a bar, the studio… here?”

She seemed to be spiralling a bit and although it was cute, Matty felt the need to save her, “Love, it’s fine. Whatever makes you comfortable. You’ve met the guys, and they love you, so-” He put his brave face on, “So I’m sure Finn will love me too. Yeah?”

He was met with a rapid nod, one that should’ve quelled his fears but only seemed to heighten them instead.

“So we’re doing this then?”

Matty blinked and lifted his chin to find her watching him again, that soft smile of hers back in its rightful place, looking pleased with how it had all turned out.

“What, meeting your mate?” He questioned her, having figured that much had been obvious, but then she was rolling her eyes at him again.

“No, I meant- me and you.”

Oh.

Oh, he was grinning properly now. Like a massive twat, yeah, but how could he not? When she sat there looking all lovely and asking him if they could be something.

“Me and you sounds good.” Matty murmured around the strength of his smile, fingertips diving beneath the hem of her jeans to tap the jut of her ankle bone.

He would've been embarrassed about it but he reckoned his grin was mimicked on her face and was all the more glad for it. Because he’d seen her smile and he’d seen laugh, but this grin. It was something else.

It wasn’t a difficult decision, his next move. Because before Matty could even contemplate it, he was all but throwing himself up the other end of the settee to cradle her head between his arms and catch her mouth with his.

She kissed him back with almost as much excitement, the pair of them smiling and laughing giddily at the stupidity and utter prospect of it all.

“Got you trapped now.” Matty breathed into the space between them not long after, eyes boring into her own. He hadn't been lying earlier when he’d claimed that they were one of his favourite things about her.

She barked out a laugh, hands falling away from where they’d been holding his neck to cover her face. “Was that a mouse joke?” She asked him through the gaps in her fingers, shaking her head at him.

Matty hadn’t really thought too much about his words, but thinking back he couldn’t stop himself from laughing too, bowing his shoulders to chuckle into the crook of her neck. “Fuck, I guess so.”

Her arms wrapped themselves around him again and so he nipped at the edge of her jaw, grinning like a fucking idiot.

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loveysloveclub · 5 months

Text

a perfectly good heart - ethan edwards

in which, isla should have never gotten involved with a hockey player who made it clear he was only after a fling.

isla hadn't meant to search the party for the hockey player immediately upon arrival. she had told herself she was going to wait until he found her, but he seemed less than interested when she spotted him whispering something into a pretty blonde girls ear.

yet, her smile didn't dim.

ethan was allowed to have friends, after all, she wasn't his keeper. she wasn't even his girlfriend.

the strange relationship that had spurred between the two college students happened last semester, and had followed both into the new one.

it was simply a fling, ethan had said. he wasn't ready for a relationship, ethan had said.

and isla had respected it. she had respected his boundaries, his space and his wishes. but that still didn't mean that it didn't hurt whenever he would blow her off for the guys or randomly get angry when she suggested they do something that was too 'couple like' for his liking.

but still, isla knew he was a good person deep down, so she continuously gave him the benefit of the doubt.

"girl, stand up." hannah, isla's best friend and college dorm roommate, stated simply as she rolled her eyes. "i am standing." isla replied with furrowed eyebrows and reluctantly tore her gaze away from the brunette hockey player across the room. the result of this action being her miss him kissing the blonde girl goodbye as she slipped him her number.

"you know damn well what i meant." hannah rolled her eyes once more.

isla did know what her friend meant. she had heard it all one too many times. how ethan was bad news, how he was only hurting her and how she deserved better.

"ethan's a good guy, you don't know him like i do." isla was persistent with the narrative she had created for the boy in her head. "your heart is too pure, it's bad for your health." hannah stated, sipping her drink judgmentally as she locked eyes with the edwards boy from across the room, sending him a disgusted look of acknowledgment.

"i would say my heart is fine. a perfectly good heart."

"yeah, whatever. tweedle dee is coming this way, which means i will be going to find tweedle dum, aka the better option." and with that, hannah was sauntering across the room in search of mark estapa, someone she had befriended through their mutual disgust in ethan's behaviour.

isla sipped on her drink as she awaited ethan's presence, which was made known when he slipped his arm around her waist. "wanna go back to mine?" he whispered into her ear, just as he had been doing to the blonde girl moments prior.

isla merely nodded her head as ethan took her drink from her hands and placed it on the table beside them before guiding her out of the party by the small of her back. the girl turned once more, her eyes searching for hannah's as she knew her friend would be watching the encounter.

and there she saw it, both hannah and mark shaking their heads whilst watching the two leave.

#ethan edwards x reader #umich hockey #ethan edwards #umich #mark estapa #dylan duke #umich wolverines #nhl #hockey #ee73

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chaosbarelycontained · 2 months

Text

You Know I Think I Recognise Your Face

North Country Boy Chapter 2

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x AFAB!OC

TW: swearing, angst, awkward teenagers (yeah, I know)

Words: 2.1k

Synopsis: Jules meets some of her new team mates and lets the Lt know where her boundaries lie.

Captain Price awkwardly cleared his throat, shaking Jules from her frozen state. With a pointed look at his Lieutenant, Price then addressed his new Sergeant.

“Drop your kit in your room and join us for tea, eh? Don’t let it get cold.”

“Yes, Sir,” she replied.

Moving to follow him out of the briefing room she felt a hand wrap around her wrist.

“Ju…” Riley began, his voice quiet and low.

Her eyes glanced down to where his hand rested on her and then they were back on his face. She stared him down coldly without even a hint of expression until he released his grip and then she made her way out of the briefing room without a single backward glance, stooping to grab her kit bag as she passed.

Standing before the door to Room 3B, Jules stared at the handle and the card scanner above it. Price hadn’t given her the key-card. In the absence of any other option, she slid the card for her old room from the pocket of her pants and tapped it against the scanner, which chirped and flashed green. Jules smirked a little at the Captain’s deviousness and pushed down the handle.

The room was as nondescript as any other billet she’d bunked in over the years. She lay her kit bag down on the foot of the perfectly-straight covers and made a perfunctory scan around the space. There was a small window above the head of the bed, the sky beyond already beginning to take on the dusky hue of twilight, and a closed door to the left. Opening it, Jules was relieved to find a sink, toilet, and shower. The usual single wardrobe, chest of drawers, and bedside table completed the ensemble and she gave a small hum of satisfaction before making her way back downstairs to the mess.

Following the clamour of voices and the clatter of cutlery against china, Jules quickly located the mess again after Price’s rapid tour earlier. She pushed open the door and was hit by a wall of noise and smells of food from the kitchens. Casting her eye about she did a recce of the room and quickly surmised the order of things. Grabbing a tray from the stack by the wall she joined the queue at the hatch and then had her plate filled with a hearty beef stew and dumplings. Nodding her thanks to the server she found an empty seat at the end of one of the tables, filled a glass with water from the jug in the middle, and then settled in to eat her tea.

She’d barely managed two mouthfuls before her elbow was jostled by someone taking the seat to her left whilst another sat in front of her. She acknowledged both of them with a small nod and then went back to eating her food. When the expected conversation openers didn’t arrive she looked up to see both soldiers staring at her, broad grins on their faces. Swallowing awkwardly Jules offered them a strained smile in return but they said nothing and just carried on staring.

“Hi?” she said in bemusement.

“Hey,” one responded, whilst the other gave a “hullo”.

“Can I…help you?”

“Just comin’ ta gi’ ye a welcome,” the guy to her left said, his words thick with a Scottish accent.

“Thanks,” she replied, forking up another mouthful of stew.

“So you’re the spook from The Duke’s?” the other asked in reference to her affiliations with the Lancs and the SRR.

“That’s me.”

“Proper chatterbox aren’t ye?” the first teased, leaning his cheek on his hand.

Jules remembered him from the briefing now, one of the guys who’d heckled the Captain. MacTavish, he’d called him.

“MacTavish, right?” she asked.

“Aye!” He grinned, his eyes lighting up when she recalled his name. “That’s me. This is Gaz,” he added nodding at the fella opposite, who saluted goodnaturedly.

“Jules,” she offered, taking a gulp of her water as she mentally tried to match the names she’d been given to the list of 141 members that had been on Price’s data drive.

“Get an offer ye couldn’t refuse?” MacTavish pushed.

“I’m sorry?”

“The Captain there, gave ye an offer? Dug ye oot of a hole?”

Jules eyed him suspiciously and he held up his hands in a placating gesture.

“Don’ worry yeself, I’m no prying. Ye don’ have te say.”

“Let’s just say I had a problem with some orders, yeah?” Jules smirked, raising her glass again.

“Amen to that,” Gaz agreed, holding out his fist which Jules bumped with her own.

“Gaz…that’s Garrick, right?” she asked, which he confirmed with a nod. “You’re from the Duke’s too, yeah?”

Gaz opened his mouth to respond but his words stalled as he glanced over Jules’ shoulder towards the door. Raising his chin in greeting at whoever had entered, he then turned his attention back to her.

“Yeah, I did my time at Kimberley, so did the Lt, actually. Hey Ghost!” he called across the room. “The newbie’s one of ours.”

Jules stiffened in her chair at the mention of the Lieutenant’s name. She saw MacTavish beckoning him over and held her breath, trying to focus on getting another forkful of stew into her mouth in an attempt to disguise the rising tide of her anger. To her utter relief she saw him shake his head and leave the room with his plate of stew.

“Thought we had him there for a minute, Soap,” Gaz sighed, shaking his head.

“Soap?” Jules asked, a little confused.

“Aye, tha’s me,” MacTavish said.

“Why Soap?”

“‘Cause he’s good at cleaning house,” Gaz offered, whilst MacTavish beamed at her.

Jules couldn’t suppress the snicker that bubbled up from her throat, grateful for the distraction. It was short-lived, however, when Soap began his “not prying” line of questions once more.

“So ye ken oor Ghostie then?” he asked, not missing Jules awkwardness.

“Like I said before, I used to. Not seen him in ten years,” she shrugged off the question.

“Ooooh, so you know the man behind the mask…” Gaz speculated, his eyes widening with the anticipation of gossip.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Jules replied, swallowing the last of her water. “A lot can change in that amount of time.”

“But what’s he look like though?” he pressed, eager for any speck of gossip about their Lt.

“What d’ya mean?” Jules asked, becoming more perplexed by the minute.

“Never takes his mask off,” Soap offered with a shrug.

“You mean never as in…never? At all?” Jules’ voice was thick with incredulity.

“Nope, never.”

“Crazy-arse bastard,” she muttered, filing away that piece of information for later.

The two soldiers still stared at her expectantly, as if she were about to divulge some key piece of intel but she left them disappointed. She stood, scraping her chair backwards as she gathered her plate and cutlery.

“Sorry gents, it’s been a long and very weird day. I’m gonna turn in for some early shut eye ‘cause I’m sure tomorrow’s goin’ t’be just as crazy.”

“Too right,” Gaz agreed, but Jules had already left the table.

She deposited her tea things by the wash-up station and left the mess. The list of duties for the next day had already been pinned to the noticeboard opposite so she took a second to check it and groaned internally. For all intents and purposes it looked like she’d been let off lightly. There was an equipment audit scheduled for the afternoon and she wondered what that might entail but it was the morning’s activity that concerned her the most. It was a skills assessment which, under normal circumstances, wouldn’t have phased her but this one wasn’t led by the Captain, it was led by Lieutenant Riley. Shit.

Jules’ plans for an early kip were scuppered. Her brain just wouldn’t switch off and, after a couple of hours of tossing and turning she gave up. Leaving her bed with a frustrated huff she stuffed her feet into her trainers and made her way down to the mess for a glass of milk to try and reset her racing thoughts. Voices filtered into the corridor from the mess and she slowed her pace, automatically making her steps lighter and almost soundless.

“Ach, come on Lt, gi’ us a bit o’ somethin’ eh?” Soap’s voice carried loudly.

“Leave it alone, Johnny,” came the low and slightly muffled rumble from behind Ghost’s mask.

“Not even the tiniest bit of back story?” Gaz probed.

“I told you, I’m not gonna talk about it. We knew each other a long time ago, that’s it. You old hags are gonna have t’get your gossip somewhere else.”

It was then that Jules stepped into the room, which fell silent as the three guys turned their eyes in her direction.

“Don’t mind me,” she muttered, keeping her head down as she searched for the milk in the fridge.

“You joining us for a brew?” Gaz asked, shaking his mug of tea in her direction.

“No, ta,” she replied as she located the milk and filled herself a glass.

“Cannae sleep?” Soap queried sympathetically.

“Summat like that,” Jules said, downing her drink and then rinsing her glass. “Night, fellas.”

With a nod of acknowledgement to Gaz and Soap’s chorus of “g’night”, she left the room. Ghost had remained silent, simply folding his arms over his chest, but she could feel his stare boring between her shoulder blades long after she’d left his line of sight.

* * * * *

Juliette looked up from her desk, startled by the cough from her bedroom door. Her cheeks flamed red as she saw Simon lounging in the doorway, a lop-sided grin on his face.

“Whatcha reading?” he asked, nodding with his chin towards her book.

“Wuthering Heights,” she groaned, dying internally at the thought of her messy hair and the giant spot that had erupted on her forehead the night before. “I gotta annotate three chapters for homework.”

“Homework?” he scoffed. “You’re such a swot, Jules.”

“I am not,” she protested, shifting a stack of notes underneath the latest issue of Just 17 magazine. “I can’t understand the bloody thing anyway.”

“You got Mr Benedict for English?” Simon asked and when she nodded he stepped further into her room.

Juliette’s heart skipped a beat and she almost forgot how to breathe when Simon leaned over her desk and took her pen from her hand.

“I had him too, he loves Wuthering Heights. You need to be highlighting bits like this…and this…” he drew circles around phrases in the book. ‘And make sure you talk about pathetic fallacy. He’ll go mental for that.”

“Cheers, Simon,” she beamed and he smiled back at her.

“Not a fan of English then?” he asked as he straightened up and looked around at her room a bit more.

She prayed that she’d remembered to put all her dirty washing in the basket and that he wouldn’t notice the poster of Damon Albarn that she’d ripped out of Just 17 and pinned to the wall next to her bed.

“Nah, I like I.T. and Maths,” Juliette admitted, and she really did.

She loved computers and how they worked. Miss Talbot had promised to give her extra classes on coding if she passed her end of topic test next week.

‘Told you, you’re a total swot. Maybe even a geek.”

“Am not!”

“Yeah you are,” he teased, laughing as she smacked him on the arm. “I gotta go. If you need any more help just tap me up.”

“Yeah?” Juliette blushed again, relishing the thought of maybe spending more time with him without Rob being his usual twatty self.

“Course.”

“Mint,” she exclaimed, “Thanks Simon.”

“Laters, Jules,” he said as he left her room, throwing her a cheeky wink.

Juliette groaned and let her head thunk onto her desk. Her heart pounded a rapid tattoo but at least she remembered how to breathe again. Lifting her head she gazed at the pages of the novel where Simon had made notes for her in his distinctive boxy script. She pulled the book closer to her, vowing to keep it forever, but then nearly vomited in embarrassment as she caught sight of the piece of paper that had lain just under it, the writing clearly visible. Down the centre of the paper was written the words TRUE LOVE with numbers next to each letter but it was the names at the top of the page that made Juliette want to crawl into a hole and never return.

Juliette Kelsall and Simon Riley.

She’d never be able to look him in the face again.

Taglist: @aykxz98

#simon ghost riley #ghost x oc #john price #cod mw2 #call of duty #simon riley #john soap mactavish #soap cod #cod mwii #ghost cod #kyle gaz garrick

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hum-suffer · 2 months

Text

We'll say hello again (Nevermind the chasm between us) 16

Seeing her twin the first thing in the morning did brighten her mood but the way Amar kept on bouncing on his feet was not a good idea.

"Get up, come on, come, come on!" He cheers over her as Gauri buries herself under her blanket once more, trying and failing to ignore her brother. "It's Mahashivratri, come on, we'll be late for pooja!"

Gauri throws the blankets off of herself and sits up, glaring grumpily at Amar. "I despise you," she says and Amar laughs because he knows it's a lie.

She manages to throw him out of her room and call for her handmaid to help her with her hair, throwing a sparse greeting at Yamuna at the door before she locks her brother out. Gauri huffs as she chooses her saree, a soft pink saree with pale golden hand block prints. It's one that she customised for herself, as a birthday gift for herself. Spoiling herself is a good thing, if done once in a while.

She's taken to draping her saree in a way that lets her move more freely, ready for a possible attack at any time. She doesn't trust her safety in the halls of the palace, not with Vijay here. A part of her heart throbs at the idea of a what if, a thought that probes at her mind like a needle. (What if she would be married to him?)

(She would rather live the life of a widow.)

Strapping Bhairav's dagger to her calf is a habit by now, and so is the hidden small knife in her waistband, hidden behind her pallu. She feels ridiculous, like she's going for war in her own home, as she steps out of her room, as ready as she'll ever be.

She isn't ready enough.

Gauri's breath leaves her chest in a fell swoop as her eyes fall on Bhairav, who is wearing that periwinkle tunic she's made for him. It looks perfect on him. He looks half a god, suitable to his name. Long hair left to the wind, a chandan tilak on his forehead and eyes unwavering as he looks at her, and only her. The tunic drapes over his shoulders like a physical caress, the embroidery on his collar stark against the blue. It fits him perfectly, looking comfortable in movement and yet emphasises his lean torso.

Gauri feels a spark of something primal in her chest and throat as she sees him wearing something she made and gave him. The urge to make another tunic for him rises, the need to make him a new wardrobe so he only wears what she makes for him.

The storm rising in her chest is hard to control but Gauri pushes it backwards forcefully when his eyes stray from her form, downward to his hands. Gauri tries to keep track of his gaze but it is hard, because as his neck moves, she sees the last letter of his name embroidered on the back of the kurta in her stitches. In red. (Red that matches her alta.)

Bhairav clears his throat hesitantly and looks back at her, reluctance in his sharp eyes. Gauri raises her eyebrows with a smile. Bhairav wets his lips for a moment before he speaks. "Shubh Mahashivratri, my princess. I hope you do not mind but I have stepped out of my bounds and dared—" He doesn't complete his sentence and raises his hand between them, a jasmine flower gajra in hand.

It's the two of them in the corridor, and Gauri feels the eyes of the Sun on them as she smiles wider in sheer giddiness. She's never worn a gajra before. She's always wanted to, but there's always a rush or something else and she always forgets to ask for a gajra to any of her handmaids.

"Of course, I do not mind, Bhairav," she says, sounding exhilarated to herself. She turns on her heels and looks over her shoulder. "Would you, please—?"

Bhairav looks like he's about to stutter something about his boundaries, so Gauri gives him a pleading look before turning her face away, leaving the decision in his hands. She knows she can't force an act of friendship and she needs to trust him to act on his wishes.

She doesn't hear him move until he's behind her, the smell of jasmine, chandan, and something earthy hitting her like a drug. Gauri stays still and her eyes close on their own when she feels Bhairav's fingers lightly brush away her hair from behind her ears. She feels her ears heat up and opens her eyes as he's putting the gajra in the small braided section of her hair that meets together at the back of her head.

Gauri's eyes fall on the stone floor, and with the sunlight falling in, she sees their shadows on the floor. They appear merged.

After seven more heartbeats, Bhairav finally stills. His fingers adjust the gajra for the last time and linger in her free hair for a breath, grazing the cascade of her hair for a moment before pulling away.

Gauri turns around to face him and beams at him, even as she feels a flush crawl up her neck. "Thank you, Bhairav."

He bows his head to her and steps back, the smell of chandan lingering like a caress between the two of them. "Anything for you, my princess."

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

Amar is as insufferable as ever as he groans when they see each other. "Why are you so late?" He almost whines as soon as she is in earshot.

Gauri raises an eyebrow at him and looks around pointedly. Vijay, a couple of more soldiers, Amar, Katappa, Bhalla, Veeraraj, Bhairav, and Gauri. Even Maa or uncle aren't here.

"It takes time and dedication to maintain the elegance that Mahadev only gave to only one of you." Bhalla says, slinging an arm around her shoulders. Gauri is momentarily scared for her gajra, but she relaxes instantly under Bhalla's arm, as she's been doing for years.

Vijay gives him a side-eyed look. "Yes, because He wanted the other one to come on Mahashivratri at the time!"

"Oh, then, would you mind fetching the rest of the royal family and the royal priest?" Gauri asks, her hackles raised with the way Vijay spoke between the siblings.

"I'm sorry, do I look like your pet guard dog? He's standing behind you." Vijay snidely replies, eyeing Bhairav with disdain. Amar senses the tension and moves closer, towards Gauri.

Gauri knows how loyal and how fierce Bhairav is. Comparing him to a guard dog is not wrong. However. However. However.

Only she can do that. Because she appreciates and approves the fierceness he has, the growl he has, the sheer capacity of destruction he has. Because she knows his loyalty, she knows she is his North and she is his law. Because he is her protection, he is her health and he is backbone. Someone to adore and protect— that is the relationship of a guard dog and its master. That is the relationship of Bhairav and Gauri, with reciprocation. He protects and adores her, and she does the same for him. He may be likened to a guard dog, but by her only. She may be likened to a guard dog, but by him only.

Gauri feels Bhairav step forward behind her, closing their distance, and she smirks, letting her canines show. "You should be glad that Bhairav has better manners than your guards. At least, mine is loyal to a fault, Mahoday. Do you want Bhairav to teach them some loyalty? I assure you, he won't mind."

As expected, Vijay turns his head sharply at his soldiers and Gauri feels cold satisfaction thrum in her ears.

So easy to manipulate. So easy, in fact, even Amar could have done it.

Before he can say anything else, the guards around them announce the arrival of Maa and Bhalla removes his hand from her, straightening up beside her. Amar and Bhairav remain at their respective positions.

"Don't play with fire, Gauri." Bhalla says, eyes towards his parents. "We can't forget our diplomacy."

Gauri keeps her eyes at her uncle and aunt too. "And he can't forget his station. I refrain from being arrogant, brother, but I will not stand for insults against me or mine. He is barely refraining from disrespecting me in a way that will be treason. We all know the punishment for treason."

Maa comes to them with a smile on her face that dims a bit when she sees the looks on their faces. "What happened?"

"Vijay spoke insultingly about Bhairavrath. Gauri implied that he has disloyal guards." Bhalla says, always clinical and logical. That's what she admires about him. He isn't biased with his emotions.

Gauri looks at Shivagami with an unrepentent look. Shivagami shakes her head minutely and purses her lips. "I know what you think, but behave yourself, Gauri. You are a princess. You cannot be accused of being mannerless. If you want retribution, do it discreetly."

"This is discreet, Maa," Gauri says, knowing that her aunt is right,"Being non discreet would be that I'd take his tongue with my dagger for the tone alone."

Maa sighs and turns to Amar, draping an arm around him. "At least tell me your tone was good enough." Gauri nods at her innocently, but something itches at her.

Amar is Maa's favourite. Bhalla is uncle's favourite. Who favours Gauri?

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

Bijjaldev pushes Gauri to do her pooja with Vijay. He almost dwarfs her in height alone, let alone his age. Gauri has half a mind to accidentally injure Vijay's knee so he can't kneel or sit in front of the shivaling with her. Thankfully, Mahadev is on her side.

Vijay doesn't know how to do the pooja. He does the abhisek, from a different vessel than her, closes his eyes, prays for a moment and leaves. Gauri is astonished at his behaviour but uses it to her advantage and looks at Maa, asking silent permission to let her complete her pooja. Maa smiles at her indulgingly and nods.

"Not him, Mahadev," she prays softly in her thoughts after completing her pooja. "Do not make me miserable. Because if I am tied to him, he will come to you. I shall not bear living alone for too long. I want to be loved and cared for. Let me be loved."

She opens her eyes and begins to walk out of the temple, where Amar and Bhairav are standing at the doorway. Amar forwards a hand to her and she easily grasps it following his lead with her head held high.

»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»»

Amar squeezes her hand tightly as they move towards the centre of the temple, struggling with the crowd, even with their security. It's a tight fit, and the temple is decorated in all white flowers, their fragrance soothing and colour blinding, especially as the moonlight catches on them.

The day had been spent normally, but the evening is even brighter in Mahishmati as the whole state echoes the bhajans and chants of Mahadev and Mata Parvati. The evening aarti is even more beautiful and chaotic.

Gauri wishes she could tie her hair up in a bun but she's not touched her hair since the morning— since the moment Bhairav out in the gajra. It stays in her hair, snug and still fragrant. She's not even changed, since the morning.

Gauri keeps Amar ahead of her and Bhalla behind her as they all move, Bhairav and Veeraraj on either side of her. Maa and uncle lead the group, Vijay at the tailend. Her heart is hammering in her chest as she feels sweat clam up on her palms. She organised all this, and as it happens, she's afraid of anything that will go wrong.

Gauri keeps her spine straight and face neutral as they attend the aarti and let's herself smile as she's distributing prasaad to the nobles in the temple.

Just as she's beginning to think that everything has gone well, she turns away from Vijay to go back to Amar, she hears Vijay speak.

"May I have the attention of everyone?" He asks, and doesn't stop for long before banging his hand on a nearby empty platter to grab the attention of the nobles around them. Her heart starts to beat faster and she feels her smile freeze on her face, shoulders turning rigid. She feels the heat of panic spread in her chest and arms.

"In the attention of Mahadev and on this auspicious day of Mahashivratri, I announce my proposal to court Gauraangi Devi."

The empty thaali of prasaad stays in her hand and Gauri remembers another plate, years ago, that she used to make another egoistic man bleed.

The need for blood rises.

____________________________________________________

Tagging: @alhad-maharani @vijayasena @voidsteffy @nerdreader @allizzprobablynotwell

I'm so sorry for the cliffhanger!!!!! But abhi I need to let gauri plot for a while lmfao. See y'all soon!

#desiblr #suffer ye suhana nahi #desi tumblr #bahubali

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vergilsama922 · 3 months

Text

Hope Universe: Year of the Dragon Wives #23 - Chou Oshida the J-Pop Idol

As Chou Oshida, sat in the empty room with Makoto, her eyes sparkled with excitement as she began to tease him. Her infectious energy filled the space between them, making it impossible for anyone else to resist her charms.

Chou playfully struck a pose that showcased her petite figure and revealed just enough skin to make her intentions clear without crossing any boundaries. She knew that Makoto was entranced by her presence, as his eyes were glued to every movement she made.

With a bright smile on her face, Chou began to sing one of her hit songs in a sultry voice, the lyrics perfectly capturing the flirtatious atmosphere between them. As she sang, she continued to pose and move seductively, making sure that Makoto couldn't help but imagine what lay beneath her light blue/yellow panties.

As Chou finished her song, she turned to face Makoto directly, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Makoto," she said in a playful tone, "I bet you can't wait for me to take off these panties and show you everything I have to offer."

"You know, sweetheart," she whispered seductively, "you are one very lucky man to be witnessing the beauty of an idol up close like this."

Makoto's heart raced as he listened to her words, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. Chou continued, "And if you want...if you truly desire it," she added with a mischievous grin, "I could show you even more than just my body."

#danganronpa #makoto naegi #danganronpa au #fanganronpa #hope universe #chou oshida #makoto x chou

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neon-atrocities · 4 months

Text

I literally cannot shut up, it is just not possible, so I wanted to talk about the Wilbur Soot allegations, and how i personally feel about them. I tend to have slightly varying opinions, so don’t expect to much from me.

If you all are familiar with Wilbur Soot, then you know he admitted to abusing his GF in the form of biting.

In addition clips are resurfacing of him showing clear signs if extreme anger at Tommy who seemed to have taken his things without asking though I didn’t fact check that.

More instances, such as Techno’s parents persisting that Wilbur had “pelted” (idk what that means) his bad arm while he was alive. Supposedly, Techno had said it was fine. This was not fact checked by me either.

Now to preface this, HIS ASS IS GUILTY!! I don’t want anyone thinking I think otherwise. But where things cannot be excused (bcs they shouldnt), there is room for explanation.

I honest to god think his autism, while NOT an excuse, is a huge part. A mixture of not respecting other boundaries and not having his boundaries respected is the likely result of a lot of this.

Wilbur isn’t a child. Clearly, as he felt the need to apologize, he knew what he did was wrong at some point.

I’m going to be disgustingly honest and say I too have hurt people without realizing it. I was horribly unsocialized and also bit my first boyfriend too. It was like every time I was “playing” I was blind for a moment, just happy and smiling. In fact, it was this whole abuse allegation that made me realize what I’d done was wrong and I am nineteen fucking years old.

I have already written myself as a bad person, as Wilbur has had done to him too.

I’d playfully hit and wouldn’t realize people didn’t like it until they screamed at me.

And god help anyone I felt wasn’t respecting me. I was, and still am, the most enraged person on this planet.

But as I said, I know I am quite bad. But i wouldn’t have EVER improved if I didn’t have the time to heal by myself.

If I had people whispering and yelling down my back everyday talking about how horrible I am with no way to explain or show how I felt at the time or how that came to be, I’d have continuously pushed the idea that I didnt do enough wrong to deserve it.

All of this to say, Wilbur did wrong, he needs to figure out how to make it right, and we need to stop pushing such concentrated hate onto him. Telling him he’s wrong or bad is one thing but I’ve seen paragraphs about how he should end it and that is actually insane.

On the other hand, Shelby has done very good and been very brave. I am very proud of her!! It must’ve very scary going against someone with so much support.

It is never the responsibility of the abused to protect their abuser, regardless of how they function. Even if everything I’ve said applies perfectly to Wilbur, Shelby has always been in her right to do what she did.

I’m likely going to delete this at some point, as it’s embarrassing, but I wanted to be fair and honest on how I felt personally on the situation.

Thank you for reading! 🤍

#wilbur soot #wilbur allegations #wilbur soot allegations

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prsk-krow · 1 year

Note

Hello, I hope you are having a good week! I really like your content and the way you write. I hope my request is not too difficult: Basically, Romantic Niigo (separate) with a reader that supresses their shows of affection because it's their first relantioship (and trying to respect the member's boundaries) and is afraid of scaring them off.

I really love them and just want to give them the biggest hugs and cuddles!

{Niigo with reader that suppresses giving affection!} [R]

Hehe, it's hard not to fall in love with these gals, so I completely understand! Sadly my week was spent sick, so part of that slowed down my writing, but I managed to finish this one!

.‿︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵‿.

Kanade Yoisaki

)─── ･｡ﾟ*.☽ .* •ﾟ. ───(

Sweet, soft, physically frail Kanade... It's easy to see why one would be afraid of making her uncomfortable or giving her wrong impressions, especially with things such as romance.

She doesn't notice at first, simply assuming that you're nervous and that maybe you just need a bit more time! Overtime though, it starts becoming clear to her that you're not doing so good.

She tries to open up the topic, but since she's so sweet it's easy for you to shut it down before it gets too deep. Every attempt of hers gets farther than the last though, especially with her accidentally making you feel bad, so you gave in.

"Ah! Nonono, I didn't mean for that to b-be the case at all... You shouldn't be afraid of hurting me, please. I can take it, if I know it was in an attempt to love me. I just want you to try... Try for me, for our relationship. Only then will it feel more comforting, like romance is supposed to be."

She can't help much since she struggles a bit with some forms of affection, but she still manages to ease your worries by showing you hers, and letting you know that you can do it as well if you try!

Her gentle voice puts you at ease whenever you make an effort to return those actions, and she couldn't be prouder that she's helping someone like you to change! And that also means extra inspiration, of course.

Mafuyu Asahina

●══════⋆☆⋆══════●

Probably the most intimidating character of the gang of 20, it's easy to see why being in a relationship with Mafuyu would be intimidated. However, that's not at all what she wants of you!

She's always been incredibly perceptive, so she can tell that you're holding back when you two are together! This does confuse her, as she had believed that the relationship was made for the opposite reason...

Her approach to the problem is incredibly blunt. She pushes the topic with brute force, unbeknownst to the fact that you're struggling with the topic at first. She does let you speak your mind when you're ready though.

"Hm... I never thought that showing affection was so hard, even when you were perfectly aware of your emotions. However, you do know the problem, and you should attempt to overcome it. If you don't, then it's not going to change, is it?"

She doesn't know how to help you, since she struggles to understand what you're feeling, but she does a good job letting you try out different ways of showing affection! Just try not to let her coldness get to you...

Eventually, she starts helping you understand that this fear is just an illusion that's stopping you from enjoying the relationship, and that you can easily overcome it when you really try! (Now if only she could use this advice for herself...)

Ena Shinonome

/————•°•✿•°•————\

Ena usually dislikes it whenever someone hides their real feelings, however, she understands when it's painful to speak of them, or act accordingly! She treats a friend like this, after all.

She notices easily when you seem to be holding back with your signs of love, even though you're both in a relationship already! It does frustrate her, but she never lashes out at you. At least, not violently.

There will be a confrontation eventually, as the artist needs to get everything straight before she starts assuming, and so she simply seeks a reason to your actions, avoiding judging you for them.

"Ah... Yeah, I definitely get it. It's scary to think about it, I know, but you don't have to let your fear control you! I know I can be impatient and even temperamental, but I do truly love you! We are a couple, we accept each other's faults, problems, and errors as well!"

She helps you out, showing you how to show affection, gently asking for it from time to time until you get used to giving it without prompting, and constant reassurance that you're doing well!

And if you mess up, she not only helps you move on, she teaches you how to do better next time once the fear and paranoia passes, and not make that same mistake ever again.

Mizuki Akiyama

>—-×-—*~.୨୧.~*—-×-—<

Even before you were romantically engaged, Mizuki's presence has always been sort of imposing, with their teasing, and light-heartedness, along with their mature nature.

They're also quite perceptive, so they easily notice how you've been overcome by fear and uncertainty. And just as fast as they notice, they take action. After all, they would hate it if this relationship was straining on you!

Their attempt to corner you into a confrontation is very subtle and tricky, making it hard to see through until the topic arises, and they refuse to let it drop. Especially since they're so good at getting you to open up.

"I see, so you were getting pressured by this romance, huh? Well, I'm not really going to judge you. Why would I? I was the one that was pressured before it was official, remember? No one knows how you feel right now better than me, so you understand when I say that you should relax, right? Because it's the same thing that worked for me!"

It isn't a lie, as the seamstress's fears of getting abandoned by the people they consider closest to them is strongest when speaking about romantic relationships, but just as they try their best, they inspire you to do the same!

Soon enough, their growing comfort with making soft affectionate advances on you will also help you with your fears! Because if they can do it, you can as well!

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freshlybakedspiderbread · 10 months

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ive always wanted to talk a bit about how i feel about the connection between Yukari and Merry because i love the endless parallels and thematic connections (like everyone else on the planet 😁), but wondering if it was ever 'worth' it since i may just be spouting a lot of what is already considered 'common knowledge' among hifuu aficionados. Not to mention i think my thoughts on it are somehow both really messy but also crystal clear. 😐 Well whatever! Its my own head anyway so i'll try not to worry and am gonna attempt to elaborate even if just a little on this post, which may not be entirely coherent due to sleepy, post-medicine fatigue.

i feel like over the years i may have started to become reflexively more 'against' yukari = merry fandom, although 'against' is probably too strong and its much more complicated than just "i dont subscribe to that theory" because thats not even entirely accurate!

it is of course a classic and really cool idea of the Merry one day becoming Yukari has been and continues to be thoroughly explored by many many fans for moving, tragic, bittersweet, or thought provoking work. I love Absolute One-Way Street, and also Dream and Reality among many other works like it 📖

but i also think its a little stiffling to think of that as the one and only story to tell about them? Now its possible that the sentiment im about to express isn't actually common and im actually just making up a person to respond to, but i think taking the teasing connections between Yukari and Merry and treating the idea of them being the same individual as the absolute obvious truth is a bit of a limiting perspective.

Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinions and headcanons! but i want to make a case that when it comes to touhou and especially hifuu in particular, there's also a richer (and possibly deliberate on the author? who knows!) point to treat it more abstractly.

Maybe they are the same person. Maybe one day Merry becomes Yukari, or Yukari becomes Merry. Maybe they're different people. Maybe they come from the same lineage. Or maybe one is a clone of the other grown in a lab or made with a magic spell.

None of that is as important to me as the the roles they serve in their stories. touhou has always had themes about the gap and the bridge between fantasy and reality by taking place in a world where fantasy seeks refuge from reality, and hifuu goes much further in that theme by taking place in a reality that has completely left behind fantasy. That parallel is really cool to me and its embodied perfectly by both stories having a purple-clad blonde girl with the means to poking their toes into the boundary between fantasy and reality.

In the fantastical world of touhou, one serves as gensokyo's powerful (if frustrating, shady, annoying, disagreeable) protector with allies that she watches over (and sometimes manipulates) with her great power, all to preserve their little wonderworld. And I think its sooo compelling how zun introduced hifuu in the music cds and designed a very similar-looking character, who lives in a stifled reality lacking in imagination, mostly spends her day chasing after even the smallest traces of dreams with a partner whose own small logical world expanded with infinite possiblities upon their meeting...

In the last few cds, Merry's powers may be growing stronger and i get why feeds the implication she's becoming something other than human. But my take on that has always been its more of a sign that she and Renko are already outliers in their world simply for daring to believe there is more to the world beyond facts and logic. I dont expect their story (assuming zun ever brings them back. we havent heard what theyre up to since 2016....) to ever end with both or either of them becoming a youkai or vanishing to gensokyo, because frankly that wouldn't serve any purpose for the themes hifuu has been about, which is embracing fantasy while living in a world that has abandoned it.

trying to remember what my point with this post is.... Oh right its that I think all these themes about the nature of gensokyo or the state of reality in hifuu are only made richer when you think about how they contrast with one another. And by extension, I think Yukari and Merry are both richer if you think of them as conceptual and thematic counterparts in two different stories on the opposite end of a similar spectrum, before thinking about what literal or objective connection they might have. Subjectivity definitely means more than objectivity in this case!

#touhou #hifuu #yakumo yukari #maereverie hearn #< - my personal take on merry's name btw n_n #keep thinking i could use a tag for when i just ramble about touhou but at the same time its freeing to just let it out and about #like yeah my rambling can just occupy the same tag as all the fun pictures on my blog. thats fine!

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snowdrop-ivy · 11 months

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Life With U {Blake Gray AU}

A/N: Hey! It's me again. I have a lot of backlogs of ideas that I need to write but I saw these drafts I made when I was obsessed with the sway boys particularly Blake Gray so sharing it with you and I hope you like it! Summary: Gabriella tackles life, heartbreak, friendship, being a social media influencer, and falling for that hunk named, Blake Gray.

There's always a boundary about life and internet. Some don't share their life and some do, just like me. I never even imagined it would bloom into a whopping 80M followers. I mean it just started from a single rant about my high school life transitioned to beauty, dance, and music videos. Still grateful tho.

I rolled my eyes at this 4th take of TikTok video. This is the last chance, if this won't work out, I'm done.

"Gab!" Avery, my bestfriend called from downstairs.

"Yeah?" I yelled.

"Imma head out to Taco Bell. Do you want something?"

"No," I answered. "I'm okay. Take care!"

"Okay, Gabriella, this is the last take. If you can't do it perfectly, you're done," I warned myself.

My hands went flying as I screamed when I perfected the dance. I immediately uploaded it then laid on my bed to take a nap. I have this long test tomorrow and I haven't studied anything.

"Gabriella?" Avery's voice getting louder and louder with the knocks on the door. I immediately opened the door. "Let's go skating."

My eyes opened wide. "Excuse me?" I scoffed. "It's 2 in the afternoon."

"Yeah? And?"

I mocked her. "It's blazing hot."

"Don't be a pussy," she dragged me outside, shoved me my board, then we headed out.

I didn't really had a choice because she's my bestfriend and I love her too much to say no. We are skating downtown to get some sun because we don't really get some Vitamin C.

"That's the sway boys," Avery pointed at Kyo's and his friends' making TikToks outside. "We should say 'hi'," she said, I just nodded.

"Hey, Gab!" Kio shouted. We went near them and hugged each other. "How you've been?"

"I'm good," I said and I hugged all of them except for 2 guys.

One brown-eyed tanned one and white blue-eyed one.

"Oh, by the way, this is Noah and this is Blake," Bryce introduced us. New members, I guess I never attend the meetings they asked us to I just ask Griffin to take some notes. I think I saw them here everyday filming TikToks with the boys. I'm not really here much than I'm supposed to because I'm finishing college.

"Gabby," I shook their hands.

We all went inside to hang out because it was blazing hot. Q's doing a live with Anthony that's why Bryce and Griff are so fucking rowdy. Messing up his live in every way they know. I was in the kitchen hanging out with Kio, Josh, Jaden, and the 2 newbies. Kio's cooking pasta with me and the boys are just talking about casual things.

"How is that different?" Blake laughed. They're probably talking about Noah's hairstyle that he said is 'different'.

I really can't believe that these 2 are just 19 years old. Boys at my school, when they were their age, didn't looked like this. Life is really unfair.

The pasta's done and I served them their plating's which they all said 'Thank you' with their mocked kisses.

"Good?" I laughed when I saw Jaden's face full of pasta sauce from slurping. I handed him a tissue. "Careful, babe, you're not in a competition."

"This shit is so fucking good!" Josh slurped more pasta.

Blake and I locked eyes and we both shook our heads. Damn, those blue eyes. It's very pulling.

"What's that?" Bryce shouted from the hall. He went inside the kitchen with them, still on live. "Here we have, Gabriella, cooking pasta for us because she loves so that much."

I just rolled my eyes and waved at the camera. "Do you guys want some?"

They sat down as I served them more pasta. Griffin does this thing where he pretends he's in a mukbang but this time he did it on a live.

"Today," he cleared his throat. "We are going to eat Gabby's ~special~ pasta."

"Very special," Bryce added.

"So special," Q said. "She only does this for us."

"We're that special to her," Anthony added. "Right, Gab?"

I flipped them off and laughed. My phone rang and it was Tayler calling.

"Hey," I answered. We were supposed to go out and eat but I lost track of time.

"Hype boys are hanging out here. We could just cancel the reservation and hang here."

"Okay," I nodded. "That sounds good. You guys complete there?"

"Yeah," he said. "Well, he's here. Is that okay? We can just hang out in my room."

I shrugged. "No, it's okay. We broke up months ago, I'm okay already."

"Lies."

We both laugh.

"I hate you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I'll see you here."

I bid goodbye and hung up the phone. I scratched my nose and head back to the kitchen. Q's finished with his live that's why they're just hanging out. Drinking beer and eating pasta.

"I'm gonna go to Hype's. Do you guys want to come?" I asked them.

People think that there's beef between the two houses but there really isn't. We're all good friends and some fans really need to calm down on making false teas.

"Hayes' there, right?" Q asked.

I nodded and scratched my nose once again. It's itching like fuck.

"Is that okay for you?" Kio asked.

Out of them, he's the most protective when it comes to Hayes.

"Yeah," I answered. "I'm going there for Tayler not for him."

"You'd better be," Griffin said. He hates Hayes the most.

"Why'd you guys break up, tho?" Noah suddenly asked. "You two dated for what? Two? Three years?"

"Yeah, three," I said. "He cheated. So we broke up."

"Oh," his face suddenly went aloof. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay, babe, you didn't know anything," I smiled at him.

There were articles surfacing on why we broke up but I didn't give a full answer. It just wasn't right to bring our problems to the public because they're not involved on the breakup.

"You guys coming?" I asked them. They all nodded and get their selves ready while I clean the kitchen.

Avery went home because she said she isn't feeling the Hype. Noah went outside to answer a call. Blake and I cleaned the kitchen while waiting for them.

"You want to do a TikTok after this?" I asked him as he's wiping the island.

He just nodded and smiled. He became timid when it's just the two of us so I thought of the perfect TikTok video to break the ice. I'll probably do the same to Noah.

"What do you want to do?" He asked, while scrolling through his phone.

"Do you wanna do 24 Man?" I suggested.

He nodded. We "practiced" but I made him sat down to "add" some steps.

"What is this?" He laughed, confusedly. I placed his phone to the bar window to start the video.

"Just trust me, Blake-y boo," I laughed.

"Is that my nickname?" He asked. He probably knows what I call the other boys.

I winked and started the timer. Although his phone's useless because I'm going to use my phone.

"Wait here," I said and left to start the music. I'm already laughing my ass off so I don't how I'm going to pull this off.

I slowly made my way towards him, who's busy dancing the steps.

"Jackrabbit when he put the dick in it

How you nut and you barely put the tip in it?

Sixty seconds, got him gone, that's a quick minute

He ain't never felt some pussy with some grip in it

Hair done, nails done like a bad bitch"

We laughed our asses off and kissed him on the cheek after filming it.

"That's one fucking good TikTok," I laughed. "I think that broke the ice, right?"

"That sure broke the ice."

I did that to all of them to ease into it but it didn't change much because we were hanging out already ever since before Sway happened.

We waited for Noah to finish to do an actual TikTok where you're dancing. We did 24 Man, Rags2Riches, and Wet.

Griffin drove my car to the Hype House because I was too lazy to drive. I'm with Bryce, Blake, and Josh. The others are on the other car, obviously.

"I don't have a good feeling about this," Bryce said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, replying to some comments on my latest video on TikTok.

"I feel like he's going to talk to you and beg you to come back together again..."

"Yeah, yeah," Griff nodded. "What if you just hang out with Tyler in his room?"

"And we keep Hayes off of your sight. I know how douche-y he gets when he sees us hanging with you," Josh said.

"Fucking pussy," Bryce joked and they all laughed.

"You don't have to hate him," I rolled my eyes at them. "He made a mistake and owned up to it. We both moved on and you guys should do too."

"He made that mistake three times, Gab," Griff reminded.

Yeah, thanks for the reminder.

"Wait, is that his anniversary gift to you?" Bryce laughed. I just flipped my finger. Such a dickhead.

Some Hype boys are outside when we got there taking some pictures with fans. We got outside and did the same thing before greeting them.

"Are you here for Hayes or Tayler?" a fan asked which made Bryce and Griffin laugh.

"I'm here for Hype, no specific person," I lied because if I said I'm here for either of them some drama is going to happen and I hate that.

"She came here for me guys, #Gabony is fucking real," Tony hugged me from the back and kissed me on the cheek.

This boy really love the drama. "I hate you so much," I laughed and hugged him back.

"You sure do, babe," he chuckled.

Tayler met me at the gate and gave me a hug which made the fans scream.

"Please date already!"

"Tomorrow, we're busy today!" I joked and we both laughed.

"Sure, you hate drama," he rolled his eyes. "We should probably just hang out in my room because Hayes is drunk and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

I nodded, he's right. Hayes' is uncontrollable when he's drunk.

"That's the best thing you ever said since you were born, man," Bryce shook his hands.

The boys did too. Tyler knows Noah and Blake already and it makes me so left out because I was out for a month due to exams. I'm on my last year before graduating college and after that, take the board exams and we'll see if I have the strength to go to med school.

I greeted the Hype members first before going to Tyler's room. I laid down his bed and he opened the Netflix so we can watch that crime documentary series I've been pleading him to watch with me.

"We should do TikTok after this," he suggested in the middle of the series.

I nodded because I was so focused on the series. This is the only time I can catch up of the long list of series that I have to watch because he's the only friend who's more patient to watch it with me and wake me up whenever I start to doze off.

"Hey, what's up, man?" He talked to someone on the phone.

I washed my hands and got outside the bathroom. "Who's that?"

"Hey, who's that?" The guy on the phone asked. He turned the phone to me and it was Jason, "Gabriella Bree! What's up, baby?"

"Hey," I laughed and sat beside Tayler. "I'm good. How 'bout you, man?"

"All good. All good," he replied. "Say 'Hi' to the fans tho," he said.

My eyebrow arched as I look confusedly at Tayler. I shook my head in confusion when he and Jason laughed so hard.

"It's FaceTime, right?" I asked him to which he just laughed louder in response.

"You're on Instagram live, Gabby," he said, chuckling.

I gasped in shock. How come that's Instagram live?! I didn't know the new update consisted of that. I am so behind the time now, I feel so fucking old. He scooted over to let me watch in peace while he talks to Jason.

"Are you guys now dating?" Tayler read a comment. He turned to me to let me answer the question.

"Yes, we are. I just asked him to be my boyfriend finally after seven fucking years!" I screamed, raised my hands in Hoo-ray, and chuckled.

"That's the answer guys, the moment of truth. Yes, we're fucking dating."

He ended the live shortly after that. It's these times where I don't care about the drama, I just let people assume what they want because at the end of the day, the people involved in it are the ones who knows the truth. And not the goddamn internet.

>Part 2<

#blake gray #blake gray x reader #noah beck #bryce hall #hype house #swayboys #blake gray au #au fanfiction #fanfiction #blake gray imagines #sway boys imagine #sway boys au #sway boys fanfic

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