#Shades of gay panic attack

[sparrowritings]

how you two got together

pairing: gojo x zenin!male!reader

summary: non-curse zenin reader and their dynamic with gojo after defecting from the zenin clan to attend tokyo jujutsu high

tags: non-descriptive injury and violence, gay panic

word count: 2.5k

a/n: this started off as hcs, but then got really long as i worked on it lol. i might make a pt.2 where its bf hcs, let me know what u think!

Born into the Zenin clan with little to no cursed energy, a heavenly restriction was placed on you as a child

Similar to Maki, you were viewed as the family's disappointment

This was further accentuated since you were born around the same time as Naoya, who was gifted with one of the family’s prized cursed techniques

You were close to and looked up to Toji due to you both not possessing cursed techniques and became training partners 

When Toji defected from the Zenin clan, you defected too to pursue becoming a sorcerer, eventually ending up at Tokyo Jujutsu High

This is also how you got to know the other three first-years when you joined 

“Everyone, (Y/N) will be joining us for the rest of the school year. Please behave, especially you, Satoru.” Yaga states as you walk up to the front of the classroom.

You were nervous, there was no hiding that. This was the first time you interacted with sorcerers outside of the Zenin clan. 

“Please take care of me!” You say, bowing.

When you stood upright again, you took in your classmates for the next four years. The guy with bone-white hair and round shades caught your eye immediately. His hair looked fluffy, and you wanted to run your fingers through it. He was slumped sideways in his chair, arms draped to his side and his feet crossed on the table in front of him. He was attractive, you had to admit.

“This has to be a joke, Sensei. How is a person with no cursed energy ever going to become a sorcerer?” The light-haired man spoke, with a teasing lilt.

Well, he was attractive to you until he opened his mouth. 

The first sentence that came out of Gojo Satoru’s mouth immediately left a bad taste in your mouth

It was that day where you decided that he had a shitty personality and that you did not like him

Once your life at Jujutsu High settled into a routine, you began to adjust and get more comfortable with who you were

You would hang out in the morgue with Shoko when you were bored but didn’t want to train

You would train hand-to-hand with Suguru because he was the only one who could keep up with you in that regard

You didn’t hang out with Gojo too often; after that first interaction, you believed that he was like the people in your family back home

Gojo initially thought that you were a helpless non-sorcerer who had overly ambitious dreams until he saw you spar for the first time

Crickets chirped in the background as the sun beat down on you and Suguru overhead. The dull “clack” of wood on wood echoed through the training grounds. You and Suguru had become regular sparring partners since you revealed yourself as an excellent physical fighter and cursed tools user. 

You attacked from the sides quickly, before aiming one decisive, forward thrust towards Suguru’s chest. Caught off guard, he raised his waster to block the attack sloppily. Taking advantage of the surprise, you quickly dropped down and swept at his legs, catching him off balance. Before he had a chance to react, the tip of your waster was resting lightly on his chest. You were both breathing heavily from the exertion and heat. A beat later, you lower your weapon and help the other up, smiles on both your faces as Suguru punches your shoulder in a friendly gesture.

Taking a break from the session, the both of you sit on the side of the field, taking a water break.

Unbeknownst to you, Gojo and Shoko were just walking past the fields and had witnessed the entire exchange.

Gojo found himself unable to tear his eyes off you. He had seen other people fight with swords, but none were ever as graceful as you. You moved like water, each motion flowing into each other seamlessly. It seemed so effortless, but Gojo knew that what you were capable of was only possible with years of dedicated training. 

“Satoru, you’re staring,” Shoko spoke. 

“No! I-I wasn’t.” Gojo bit back, his cheeks and ears flushing pink.

“Sure, I believe you.” She chuckled.

So okay, maybe Gojo thought that you were attractive when you were fighting

It was something that was absolutely objective, really

At least, that was what he tried to convince himself

Okay, so maybe he had a tiny, tiny crush on you, but he didn’t really know how to go about it since you guys never talked

So he resorted to getting your attention in a mature way

By annoying the fuck out of you

“Oh look, it’s my favorite non-curse user!” He would squeal whenever he would see you and drape himself over your shoulder.

“Fuck off, Gojo.” You would huff before peeling him off you.

Initially, he had succeeded, and you had found it annoying

But as he did it more often, it became the dynamic between you two

You were cooking in the communal kitchen when the tall man had made himself known in all his lanky glory.

“How’s my favorite armrest doing this fine evening?” He spoke, opening the fridge.

“I’m doing better than your string bean-looking ass.” You shot back as you stirred the ramen cooking in the saucepan in front of you.

“You hurt me, truly.” Gojo responds, dramatically leaning against the fridge.

You began to understand why Gojo was the way he was, and slowly, a friendship formed despite the rocky start

You were on good terms, until the first time you were assigned a harder mission with Gojo

It was a semi-grade one, and the higher-ups were originally going to send Geto, but he had been whisked away on another mission

So Yaga assigned the mission to you instead of Geto

For this mission, you brought one of your favourite weapons, Shisui

Shisui was a katana that could absorb and accumulate cursed energy and release it  

The fight against the curse started well, but quickly went downhill when Gojo destroyed one of the walls in the building, and it started collapsing

You had to dodge the debris and the curse’s attacks at the same time, which was honestly a hassle

The curse was smart; it had caught on to how much the collapsing building was giving you trouble, and strategically positioned itself in front of the other wall, hoping to trick Gojo into destroying the other wall

However, you had picked up on it

Gojo had already pointed his fingers towards the curse, who was floating right in front of the wall. If he fired Blue now, the building would definitely collapse.

Pushing off quickly, you dash towards the curse, intercepting Blue with Shisui. You gripped the hilt of the blade; it was built to absorb cursed energy, but withstanding the force of Blue was still no easy feat. 

You landed stably, before shooting off again, rushing the curse perpendicular to the wall. You gripped Shisui, charged with the cursed energy of Blue, and with a pinpoint-precise thrust, the semi-grade one was no more. However, what you failed to realize was that as the curse was exorcised, it had sent out its tendrils in an attempt to take down the two sorcerers. 

Focused on taking it down without destroying the building, you had left your side open. Three tendrils pierced your side, searing pain shooting up your torso. You fell onto one knee, using Shisui for support.

Your erratic pulse drummed in your ears, and black spots clouded your vision. Your limbs tingle as you reach a hand to your side, your uniform now wet with your blood.

“(Y/N)...(Y/N)!” You hear Gojo’s voice become softer and softer as you slump over.

Gojo is the one to take you back to school with his teleportation

He appears in the morgue, frantic and panicked with your injured body in his arms

Shoko takes over immediately, using her RCT on your injuries

She tells Gojo that you will be fine and that you just need rest, but he refuses to leave your side

When you eventually wake up, you immediately get a lecture from Gojo 

“(Y/N), I had it handled. You didn’t have to jump in.” He stated.

“You would’ve collapsed the building, Satoru. That would’ve caused trouble for both of us.” You reasoned.

“You were being reckless; you should’ve left everything to me.” 

“Reckless? Me?” You started incredulously, “Well yeah, not everyone has Infinity as a get-out-of-jail-free card, so sorry, Gojo-sama, for worrying about getting crushed by a building.”

“Well this get-out-of-jail-free card could’ve exorcised the curse without getting stabbed in the side! Thrice!” Gojo exclaimed, frustrated that you weren’t understanding his logic.

“You should just go alone next time, seeing as you obviously don’t need my help. You could just say it to my face if you think I’m not good enough, no need to play pretend.” You spat.

“(Y/N), that’s not-” 

“I think you’ve said enough. I don’t want to talk to you right now.” You cut him off once again. He seems to hesitate before turning and leaving the morgue.

You hadn’t noticed earlier, but your eyes were watery

Whether from frustration or from betrayal that Gojo looked down on you this entire time, you didn’t know

Shoko gave you a reassuring look before rushing off after Gojo

She finds Gojo sitting under a tree right outside the school building, holding his head in his hands

Shoko lights a cigarette, plopping down next to him

“I don’t understand why he’s so stubborn. If he let me handle the curse he wouldn’t have needed to get hurt.” Gojo speaks, head still in his hands.

“You? Worried about someone getting hurt instead of whether they are slowing you down? Who are you and what have you done to the real Gojo Satoru?” Shoko replies.

Gojo feels his cheeks and ears heat up.

“I know you like him. You’re not exactly subtle with it. You should probably make it clear that you’re worried about him and not looking down on him, before he has time to convince himself otherwise.” Shoko speaks before taking a hit of her cigarette.

Many things are running through Gojo’s head, but the main thing his mind was screaming at him was how maybe his crush was something more

Initially he was drawn to you because of how good you were with cursed tools

But after spending more time with you, he realized that he cared about you 

In a way where he wanted to protect you, to hear your laugh and to see you happy

He’s never felt this deeply about anyone, or anything for that matter

He stands abruptly, rushing back towards the morgue

While this conversation was happening, you received a call from your clan 

They have not contacted you since you left so you were curious

You picked up, putting them on speaker

“(Y/N). We heard that you got injured badly.” Your mother’s voice, “We’ve deliberated with the elders. We are allowing you to return to the estate, (Y/N). We’ve been trying to tell you that you aren’t suited for the sorcerer life and today was just proof of that. The Jujutsu World doesn’t need any more weak sorcerers; you’ll just get in the way.” She spoke softly.

You could feel the tears well up once again, and you sobbed when you couldn’t keep them back. You knew that you had the odds stacked against you when you decided to pursue becoming a Jujutsu sorcerer. You had thought that you found people who viewed you as equal, people who respected your own skills, until Gojo had made you realise that he had looked down on you this entire time. 

You had thought that maybe, just maybe that you guys were friends, or even more, when he would entertain your banter and be physically affectionate with you. It hurt that this entire time, you were a joke to him. He didn’t even think you could handle that curse working in a team with him, let alone by yourself.

It hurt.

You were letting the tears flow freely down your face, now that the dam had broken. 

“(Y/N)-” Your father had started speaking but you stopped listening when you saw who was at the door. Unbeknownst to you, Gojo had overheard the entire conversation.

“Gojo, I told you I didn’t want to talk to you right now.” You spoke shakily, averting his gaze.

“(Y/N),  I-I came to apologize, actually.” Your eyes widen in surprise.

“You? Apologising?” You couldn’t stop yourself before those words tumbled out of your mouth.

Gojo looked down at the floor, face flushing. 

“Look, I didn’t mean to say what I said before- I thought that- What I meant to- How I meant-” He struggled with his words, but you waited for him to finish patiently, “I’m sorry I made you think that I didn’t want your help, or that you’re not good enough. That’s not what I meant.” He made his way towards you, kneeling at your bedside, resting his arms and head on the edge of the bed. He grabs your hand.

“I just got really scared that I had lost you, and I-I really care about you, (Y/N).”

You look down at Gojo, still processing his words. Your father’s voice cuts through the silence.

“-the weak don’t have to pretend to be strong. Give up this act and return at once, (Y/N).” It reminded you of your current circumstance and fresh tears rolled down your cheeks. 

Observing your distress, he picks up the phone before you could react. 

“Oi Zenin, (Y/N) here is one of the best cursed tool users this school has seen, so shut the fuck up before you start talking about someone you know nothing about. He’s one of the kindest, most considerate and strong sorcerers around, and he could wipe the floor with you guys in his sleep, so fuck off with your bullshit. Byeeeee~” Gojo singsongs before hanging up.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

Gojo’s expression returns to the more serious one from early. He gets up, cupping your face in both his hands.

“I’m being serious, (Y/N). You’re an amazing person, and I’m mad that I made you feel otherwise.” He pauses before continuing, “And. I’ve been meaning to tell you this, but I have feelings for you, and I think I’ve been feeling this way for a while. Uh, it’s okay if you don’t return my feelings, and I understand if-”

You don’t let him continue, pulling him in by his arms and kissing him. He freezes for a moment before he reciprocates. When the two of you part for air, he rests his forehead on yours.

“I have feelings for you too, Satoru.” You speak softly.

He chuckles, capturing your lips with his.

[bettyshoweduptotheparty]

Things about the Eras Tour that I didn’t know until I attended a show

How much dancing goes on. Like proper dance your heart out, especially on the floor, I didn’t think there’d be enough space but it’s so nice 😊

The outfits! I took at least 50 photos of people’s beautiful creatively thought out and handcrafted outfits! Wow

There are levels of creativity for outfits swifties make their boyfriends wear. Examples: left ❌/ right ✅

There is white (snow) confetti during All Too Well and it gets blown all the way into the stands 😊

The flames during Bad Blood are very real, very huge and VERY very hot!

Screaming the words “shade never made anybody less gay” with 88,000 people is very self affirming and awesome and I 100% recommend it. Definitely can see why Taylor put that on the setlist as a little gift to herself

She said something recently about recognising people in the crowd from the internet and it’s a very odd feeling to be standing an arm’s length away from someone who has bullied and belittled you and your friends for the better part of a decade. But to scream the words “OH MY GOD YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACES” in their direction is very satisfying :)

Some people have not watched every livestream and have genuinely managed to avoid spoilers then the show is like opening night all over again and that’s really sweet to watch

People have warned me about this but holy moly is that one gay woman. No matter how many bf’s are in attendance, Taylor in real life is one whole lesbian. If you’re queer and your gaydar doesn’t ping to heaven watching this show you need it checked out!

And lastly not very much not least, police and security staff are the unsung heroes of stadium shows, especially this one. I was there on my own and managed to turn an almost panic attack around thanks to the amazing security team. I owe them my safe journey home. And all the stadium staff and police were wearing the bracelets they were given with pride, that’s such a nice touch. Thank you guys, you are heroes!

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Drawing chaos; Peter Quill x toddler reader

*Author’s note*

So this comes from @white-wolf-buckaroo​ who I thank for being sooooo patient with me and I hope this is the continuation you were looking for. After seeing the Groot shorts on Disney+ the Magnum Opus short was BIG inspiration for this fic so I hope you as well as all my readers enjoy this little drabble.

No warnings just some pure, unadulterated fluff.  This can be served as a sequel to this story here.

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queensdivas​

@queen-paladin​

@gay-and-ready-to-cry​

@austynparksandpizza​

_______________________________________________________

It had been four years since the Guardians had found little (Y/n) and to say their lives had changed well—it definitely had its fill of surprises.  Like the one time when they were on a mission in Tamaran to stop a Leviathan attack and (Y/n) (who had just started learning how to walk) had gotten out of the ship and while completely and blissfully unaware of the dangers on the planet, walked through the forests of Tamaran and nearly got eaten by an alien plant.  Of course Rocket managed to spot her and get her out of there.

Or the time when she was three and her father Peter had to stay behind on a mission because he had injured his arm pretty badly.  Though he enjoyed spending time with his daughter, he almost had a heart attack when they were playing a game of hide and seek and he couldn’t find her anywhere. It took over 2 hours of him having a panic attack searching every nook and cranny of the Milano but he couldn’t find her.

Only to have the team come back, yell at him before helping to find her until Gamora saw that she had slipped under Peter’s bed and had fallen asleep.  Of course as soon as Peter saw how cute she looked asleep, he couldn’t stay mad at her and took her back to her room (but he did give her a lecture about scaring him like that again).

Now at four years old, (Y/n) could walk and talk and she seemed fully invested in her world of the Milano.  She was especially good friends with Groot, or Baby Groot, again. Yep, another incident had made Groot burn up and he had once again become Baby Groot.  And of course when you get a baby as mischievous as Baby Groot and a curious toddler like (Y/n) Quill, things can get a bit chaotic.

The Guardians were out cruising through the galaxy when both (Y/n) and Baby Groot had decided to make something for their dads. Together the two of them got the supplies they needed to make their drawings.

They got to lounge room where they had their meals, coffee breaks or wanted to take some time away from the others.  (Y/n) and Baby Groot set down their supplies and set down their papers.  Groot began to white out the ALFIE comic book cover he had taken from Quill’s collection while (Y/n) was using an old page torn out of a Laskavarian translation book.

Groot then used some glue and placed it not only on the paper but also on the tail hair he had cut from Rocket’s tail.  While (Y/n) used her markers to draw her pictures.

“I am Groot.” He said to her.

“No my picture will be better.”

“I am Groot!”

“No mine!” (y/n) stuck her tongue out at Groot before returning to her drawing and Groot back to his.  (Y/n) capped her red marker before picking up the green one next and drew the next person she was going to draw.  She then looked up to see Groot holding her father’s boot which had his rocket propeller. “Hey that’s daddy! He wouldn’t like you using that.”

“I am Groot.”

“You better or I’m gonna tell on you.”

“I am Groot.” He mumbled before placing the broken shades over his face and activating the rocket boosters and placed it over his picture to draw off the glue.  After a while their pictures were almost done when Groot got the idea for how to get glitter.

He placed one of Rocket’s makeshift bombs on top of a green glittering hard drive Groot had pulled from the ship and then took him and (Y/n) out of the room with the detonator.

“I am Groot.”

“No I wanna push it.”

“I am Groot!”

“You can push it.”

“I am Groot.”

“No you push it.”

“I. Am. Groot.”

“Okay, I will.” She had tricked him thanks to an old gag she had seen on a cartoon show.  Groot gawked at her then pouted as she hovered her finger over the big red button before she pressed it and the room exploded loudly.  After the smoke cleared and the massive wave og glitter than shot out of the room had fallen to the floor, the two kids raced back inside with their pictures to use the glitter as they saw fit.

Suddenly Groot almost tripped over a large hole that had been made in the ground by the bomb.

“Uh-oh.” Said (y/n).  Groot pondered before racing over to the cabinet drawers and pulled out a roll of duct tape.  He raced back over and pulled apart the tape and together the two kids tried to patch the hole up before anybody noticed.

Walking through the hallway was Quill as he looked around with both a curious but worried look.  All day he hadn’t been able to find (y/n) and he knew she wasn’t playing another game of hide and seek.  For one thing she hadn’t finished her lunch which was odd because (much like her dad) she never leaves food behind.

He came into the engine room where Rocket was doing some repairs to the control panels that had been acting up and glitching on his side of the ship, preventing him from taking control of the ship when he wanted to.

“Hey Rocket.” Peter called out.  Rocket peeked out from the floor and lifted up his goggles holding both a hammer and blowtorch in each hand.

“What do you want Quill? Can’t you see I’m very busy fixing up my ship.”

“Uhh first of all it’s my ship. And second, you hadn’t seen (Y/n) or Groot around have you?”

“I’ve been down here doing repairs Quill, hadn’t seen hair nor twig of em.”

“Well I haven’t either and I’m starting to get worried.”

“Alright, alright. If it’ll keep your pants on, let’s see if we can’t find them.” Rocket said lifting himself up from the floor, set down his tools and took the goggles off.

The two of them walked along the hallways when they felt the room shake as well as the big boom that sounded off.

“Oh no.” they both said worriedly as they both took off running.  As they turned left, they saw that the room that lead into the lounge area had gone up in smoke and the fire alarm was blaring off. “Groot! (Y/n)!”

“(Y/n) can you hear me!?” Peter called out.

“Groot are you dead!!” Rocket exclaimed as they looked around frantically for both their children only to look down at the floor to see them both completely fine as they continued to patch up the hole with duct tape.  “Oh there you two are. Wait are-are those the ship’s fuel rods?!” Peter gawked as he pointed out the entire destruction in his ship.

“And how did the walls collapse like that and why is everything on fire!? And more importantly what smells like something died in here?!”

“Wait a minute is that….” Rocket sniffed the air before bending down and picked up the purple soap bar.  “Drax’s soap?”

“He’s been bothering me looking for that thing, won’t shut up about it.” Peter said.  The two parental figures then turned to the kids and Rocket scolded them both.

“Kids, why does it look like a bomb went off in here?” As Baby Groot pulled on the roll of tape he said.

“I am Groot?”

“Don’t give me that boldface lie. There’s no way this was a gas leak!” Rocket reprimanded him.  Peter crossed his arms over his chest before looking to (Y/n).

“(Y/n) Meredith Quill, give me the truth or it’s no music for a week.”

“We used the-the bomb for the glitter.” She said.

“WHAT!? How did-Rocket I told you to keep your bombs out of reach of the kids!!”

“Hey don’t you put this on my Quill!”

“You’re the one leaving bombs easily available for the kids to get to! Who else am I gonna blame!?”

“How bout the two gremlins who caused the explosion in the first place!?!?” the two of them looked down at the kids who were now looking down shamefully at their pictures. “Now don’t you two think you’re getting out of this by being cute.” Rocket scolded.

“He’s right. What you two did was completely dangerous and unsafe! You could’ve been hurt or worse killed!” the two kids looked at each other before holding up their pictures.

“What? What’s this more trash? Better be a written apology.” Rocket said as he took Groot’s picture while Peter took (y/n)’s. Rocket pulled out a pair of glasses and set them along his muzzle as he looked at the picture.  “Huh this is….hmm…..wow this is, this is pretty cool. Oh this is very nice!”

“Let me see.” Rocket showed Peter Groot’s picture to see that it was all of them together with Groot encompassing his arms around his friends and family.  “Wait why am I crying in the picture?”

“Cause you’re always a crybaby Quill. Face it, you whine more than these two do.”

“I do not!” Peter whined.  Rocket raised his brow with an expression that said, ‘really?’ Peter grumbled before clearing his throat and said.  “Well at least my baby girl sees her father for what he truly is. BAM! Top that!” Peter then turned over (Y/n)’s picture.

She had drawn each of the Guardians in a way she always remembers them.  Her and her dad dancing to music, her aunt Gamora’s hugs, climbing onto uncle Drax’s shoulders pretending he’s a mountain, and Rocket along with Groot (in his current state) with machines.

“Hmm. Impressive job there kid. Even though I still disagree with how you drew your old man.” Rocket ruffled (y/n)’s hair.  “We’re gonna have to get these two pictures framed, maybe even put them on top of the refrigerator.”

“You really like them?”

“Of course squirt, you and Groot did a pretty good job on each of your pictures.”

“I am Groot?” Peter and Rocket looked at each other before Peter said.

“As long as no one was hurt, I guess we can’t really fault you guys. Besides Rocket can fix this up.”

“WHAT!?!?”

“Your bombs, your mess. C’mon kiddo.” Peter picked (y/n) up and they walked back to their shared bed quarters.

As promised, Peter managed to find an old picture frame that he had kept and placed the picture inside and sealed it up before setting it right by the bed.

“There. Perfect spot for it.”

“Perfect spot for it.” (y/n) repeated which made Peter chuckle softly as he ruffled his daughter’s head.  “You know baby girl, that was pretty unsafe of what you and Groot did, I thought something bad had happened to you.”

“I sorry daddy. Just wanted to make the picture more prettyful.” She softly said.

“I know. But next time don’t follow Groot’s instructions on using bombs to make glitter. At this stage Groot’s a little psychopath.”

“What’s a psychopath?” she asked mispronouncing the word but Peter understood what she was saying.

“Well….it’s a person who doesn’t understand right from wrong and makes bad choices everytime. Which is something I don’t want you doing promise me okay?”

“I promise daddy.”

“That’s my girl. Now go to sleep.”

“Will you sing for me?”

“Of course. Which song shall it be tonight?”

“My song! My song! My song!” she cheered as she got under the covers.

“Alright, alright, alright calm down. Get settled in and I’ll sing it.” Once he tucked her in, Peter softly began to sing ‘Ooh child’, the very song she’s always loved ever since he officially adopted her what felt like a short time ago.

[nerdyvocals]

Steady, Steady

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/F

Fandom: Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies (TV)

Relationships: (past) Lydia/Summer Stock Girl, (briefly) Cynthia Zdunowski/Lydia

Characters: Lydia (Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies), Original Characters, Cynthia Zdunowski, Mr. Vaughan (Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies), (Mentioned) Floyd, (Mentioned) Arthur

Additional Tags: Angst, First Kiss, First Love, Period-Typical Homophobia, Gay Awakening, First Breakup, Kinda?, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Panic Attacks, vomit warning, Author poorly explains the Stanislavski System

Language: English

Stats: Published: 2023-06-23, Words: 4,961, Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

They say you never forget your first love. That's not always for good reason.

(Or, a Lydia character study.)

Title from 'Steady, Steady' by The Crane Wives.

Notes:

Should I be writing my research proposal? Yes. Did I write this instead? Also yes.

(Also shout out to '(this night's a perfect shade of) dark blue' by ytsson for putting 'The Importance of Being Earnest back in my head.)'

Mind the tags, there is a slight emetophobia risk toward the end, as well as a description of a panic attack, and, of course, 1950s homophobia.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Lydia was thirteen the first time she went to summer stock. Her parents had so far entertained her love of theatre by allowing her to participate in school plays, but it had taken a semester of begging for them to allow her to apply for summer stock theatres, plus an additional month when she revealed she had gotten accepted to a theatre camp in the northern-most corner of the state, in a forest that straddled the state line into Oregon. Of course, being an only child meant she was the favorite by default, and there was little they wouldn’t indulge for their rising star.

This camp was catered toward junior high students, teaching them the ins and outs of the professional theatre world, beginning with an audition and technical workshop and ending with a production the campers put on themselves (with the help of the college-age counselors—the actual summer stock employees).

They were to put on an Oscar Wilde classic, The Importance of Being Earnest, and Lydia had been awarded the role of Miss Prism. It was at dinner that night, after the casting announcement was made, that she met Katherine Thompson.

Of course, she knew of Katherine. How could she not? She was a year older, a returning camper, and the daughter of a veteran of the camp. Everyone spoke very highly of her.  She was tall, with dark eyes and light hair that never seemed to have a strand out of place, despite the oppressive summer heat. She carried herself with a confidence Lydia admired and aspired to. And it was with that confidence that she plopped herself down across from Lydia at the picnic table, offering a hand in greeting and a slightly gap-toothed smile.

“I saw your audition. Not bad, for a first-year. You had an excellent stage presence once you got passed your jitters. Between you and me,” she offered a conspiratorial wink, “You’re about the only one of the new batch with any real promise.”

She had this way of speaking that drew Lydia in. She flushed, flattered even though she couldn’t really tell if she was being complimented or insulted. She took the offered hand in her own shaking fingers, thanking the other girl, voice wavering over her name.

Her hand was smooth and soft. She smiled at Lydia’s stutter. “Please,” she replied, “My friends call me Kitty.”

(Continue reading on AO3!)

[whumpsical]

Febuwhump Day 10: Difficulty Breathing

@febuwhump

contents: noncon, asphyxiation, asthma attack, fear of death

ehehe Jian has been having a bad crossover time with @yet-another-heathen 's Garcia <33

(do i include the regular taglist?? idk but no one can stop me @much-ado-about-whumping @minerscanary )

🏋‍♂️🏋‍♂️🏋‍♂️🏋‍♂️🏋‍♂️

"Oh, fu-- FUCK! Please, I ca--" Jian's voice gave out into silent, half-strangled gasps as Garcia shifted his weight and found an even more constricting spot on Jian's back to keep him pinned to the floor beneath Garcia's arm. The air grew sluggish in Jian's lungs, and he could feel his body getting steadily weaker while his thoughts ramped up into an electric mess of miserable, defeated panic.

It wasn't until a few long moments after Jian's eyes had fluttered and rolled back that Garcia released the pressure on Jian's chest.

Jian's brain buzzed to life with his first breath of free air. Every racing thought was torturously loud and completely nonsensical, and for a second Jian could only think of tripping hard on a sticky barstool, leaning back against the bar and watching teams of bachelorettes grind on their gay friends for the fun of it, comprehending nothing of their conversations beneath the overwhelming barrage of the speakers and the hazy filter of the drugs.

Always so loud.

Jian gasped and coughed against the cold floor. But he could take much more than that, they both knew it.

"Please?"

It came out as a squeak, congested and exhausted, and was completely ignored as Garcia leaned down between Jian's shoulder blades again. The desperate breath that Jian had managed to suck in was pressed right back out before it could even reach his lungs, and that claustrophobic terror swept through his mind again, like a fire eating up fabric drapes.

All of Jian's muscles went frantically rigid. He tried with everything he had to get himself up off the floor, but he couldn't even move his arms enough to lay his palms flat. From just above him, Jian heard a quiet hitch in Garcia's breathing as his pathetic little instinctual struggle gave Garcia something tight to push through, but he still couldn’t stop himself from giving in to the panic and pointlessly trying to wrestle his life out of Garcia's hands.

It was too late. Jian was already slipping away again, his thoughts going dark and his hands going numb. Garcia relished in it, slowing his pace and deepening the roll of his hips as Jian's body went lax again and his head radiated heat from somewhere deep inside his skull, burning wobbling mirages into the air.

"Good boy," Garcia purred from somewhere near the back of Jian's head. "Like that."

There wasn't anything else he could do. As he finally passed out, Jian felt Garcia's hips rutting flush up against him with no resistance at all, as deep inside him as he could possibly go, and Jian knew the fucking perfectly trained puppy that had wormed its way into his subconscious had taken the praise with enthusiasm. A dry whimper managed to escape Jian's throat as he felt himself getting hard too, but he saw black again before the shame could hit him in full force.

He was underwater at first, then in the deep shade of a small tree, the smell of its leaves hanging thick in the muggy air. One trembling breath drew the sweet smell in, but when it came out as a heaving cough, Jian couldn't remember where he was.

Before he could find real flowing air again, Garcia's fucking scent refilled Jian's lungs, and he had never been anywhere except beneath this man.

Again.

Jian tried to stay calm through it, but he knew he would always hit that point where his head started screeching and his body stopped taking orders.

Again.

When he had air, it traveled in short huffs that did more to express his desperation than to feed his aching lungs, but it still wasn't good enough. Garcia only listened for a moment and pressed down again, satisfied with the conviction that Jian could survive another round.

Jian spent every conscious moment trapped in a splitting headache spawned by fear and exertion and dehydration. For every round of Garcia's fucking game, he felt more and more drawn to the unconscious instead. But he couldn't quite reach that peak and hold on to it.

This time, Jian could hardly take in his one allotted gasp through a crop of tears. He couldn't even consider faking the strained wheeze and the choked rattling sounds from deep in his chest that they were waiting for. The consequences of Garcia seeing through even one false performance could mean the end of his life right fucking there. All he could do was endure the horror of teasing death, over and over again, until his own lungs gave him an out.

But he'd had a lot of practice.

Again.

A rush of gratitude and relief welled through him when his breath didn't immediately return upon Garcia releasing pressure this time. Jian scrambled for purchase, gagging on an empty gasp, when Garcia took a handful of hair and tugged his head back, but the leverage he achieved with both of his hands finally solidly on the floor wasn't enough to clear his swelling airways. It was almost over, he told himself, but whether the end would come with a few puffs of his inhaler or a trip across the River fucking Styx he couldn’t tell yet. It was almost over, but of course Garcia was going to fucking come first.

The river grew closer, and Jian grew colder in its proximity. A large hand startled him from behind, and Garcia cupped Jian's throat in his palm, tipping his chin upward, gentle but uncompromising.

Jian had barely blinked his eyes open before he felt Garcia quicken his pace, thrusting into him with single-minded drive.

Just as he felt his mind start to sink away into some kind of dark, inescapable dream, Jian managed a choke. Then a cough, and finally a gasp, but it was like he was breathing through perforated plastic wrap.

Both of his knees knocked against the hard floor, every bone and joint echoing with radiant pain from every jolt. But he was breathing.

His breath rattled in his chest and he was barely getting enough to keep going, but he was breathing. Soon he found himself able to gasp in more quick shots of oxygen, and to whimper out wordless, terrified pleas when he wasn't coughing his fucking lungs out.

He couldn't take any more, they both knew it. But Garcia still pushed him just a bit harder, releasing Jian's throat to plant both hands on Jian's hips and force them to ram backwards into him, making Jian's head rattle around on the hard floor while he whimpered in a distant voice.

It was too close this time.

Garcia buried his teeth into Jian's left ear, tugged his head back and settled deep inside of him. Intentional or not, the pain and shock of it acted like a flimsy rip cord to Jian's spasming lungs, forcing one deep gasp through his inflamed airways.

It was still too close. Jian's vision was shadowed by a dark, gray-blue film, rotting at the edges. He didn't feel being pushed flat to the ground, or the inhaler that bounced off his shoulder, but he saw where it landed in front of him. He was almost too far gone to comprehend what was going on, much less to do anything about it. A rattling cough brought tears to his eyes, and the blurry darkness rapidly crawling inward from the edges of his vision sent a lightning bolt of fear into his heart.

He had to try. He had to fucking try or he was going to die.

One arm stretched over a slow, shaky path across the floor, but Jian's strength was too quickly waning, and he collapsed again into a dark sinkhole.

He stayed underground until something hard and plastic was forced into his mouth, and the slightly bitter taste of his rescue inhaler hit him like cool water on his face.

Jian’s thoughts swirled together like a funnel of water down a drain. It was still just as hard to breathe, but to administer the medication Garcia had dragged Jian's body up into a position that was becoming familiar: Jian sitting upright between Garcia's legs, his back pressed to Garcia's chest. In that half embrace, Jian suddenly didn't feel as frantic as he probably still should.

He felt drowsy, which he supposed might've been just as bad. But he had Garcia, who he supposed still wanted him alive, encouraging Jian's shallow, labored gasps for now.

Another puff of the rescue inhaler brought him closer to focus, just a reminder that he wasn't finished fighting this battle. 

"Come on, Jian," Garcia was saying quietly. He raked a hand through Jian's hair, sweeping sweaty curtains from his forehead. It was all very gentle, but not quite tender. Garcia was just as invested in Jian's suffering as he was in his recovery. "Keep breathing, baby."

Sure, Garcia may have been following Jian's struggle to stay alive like he was watching one of his wrestling championships. He probably would've been taking bets if they weren't alone. But at least for the moment, Garcia was soft and still, and his palms spread their settling warmth across Jian's chest and forehead. Of course Jian was going to soak it up while he could.

Of course he was. He’d had more than enough experience to know that you never passed up those rare comforts offered by a sadistic captor.

He did miss the mountains.

He wasn't going to think about that.

It was hard not to. North Carolina had charred every corner of Jian's brain, and there was no escaping that fact, especially not while lost in the whirlpool of violently uprooted thoughts and all their chaotic branches swirling around him.

But he would beat those memories to the frozen fucking ground if he had to. Not now.

He felt his heartbeat pounding wildly beneath the hand Garcia had pressed reassuringly over his chest, one finger lightly passing back and forth between his collarbones. Jian let one of his trembling, numb hands drift to Garcia's thigh and hold on. It felt like surrender, and he hoped it would be received that way, but he never fucking knew with this guy.

Nestling deeper into Garcia's lap and taking another puff of the inhaler which Garcia was still holding for him, Jian finally felt his lungs start to fill up a touch more comfortably. He still had a long way to go, but his harsh gasps had quieted down to thin, choppy wheezes. Compared to the deep, satisfied breaths that played across Jian's left ear from Garcia's contented fucking sighs behind him, Jian sounded like he was on the brink of death, which he might as well have been.

Jian wouldn't survive another intentionally triggered asthma attack any time soon, no matter how quickly Garcia medicated him afterwards. They both knew that. Jian just hoped he could find other ways to keep Garcia happy in the meantime, and that the bastard wouldn't get too bored and decide to give it a whirl anyway.

[momomiooo]

Essay😛

I think a problem a lot of people have with CI (including myself) is how different she is compared to the likes of v4 and talk. There was an obvious aesthetic set up by Gynoid that Cevio didn’t exactly follow through with and the color scheme came off as strange to me so i shall describe my few problems in sorta depth

Twitter

VFlower used to be EXTREMELY active almost like a person on twitter. I got curious during a car ride home and saw cevio attempted it but it didn’t hold the same strength as flowers did. While many people don’t even follow Vflowers account or even go through her post it’s still clear people liked having vocaloids seem realistic, like they were like us. It gave her a bit more relatability that could make even newer fans amazed. While The trend of realistic tweets from vocaloids has died down (sadly) to see they’re at least trying gives me hope for flowers future endeavors! Some of the things CIflower lacks are things that V posted which could be seen as risky for the company (some old tweets consisting of flower trying to flirt with girls, swooning over randos and talking about big boobs[😭???]) it gave flower some spice no other vocaloid softwares DARED to do!

Her Design

ah yes, the initial problem, her design. As fore-mentioned Cevio didn’t go with the exact color palette/scheme as the last few models but I still think it was a great idea. It feels like we’re watching an emo girl grow into adult-hood, flower now appearing to be around 17-24! The only problem is her color scheme. While I love the idea it just doesn’t fit flower and I think to make it work they had to change flowers most notable features, her hair and eyes. Her eyes have gone from magenta or pink (depending on who drew her when) to blue. Her hair also changed, getting a similar color to ia’s, more blonde and pink than white. And while I could go on about the software companies hating while haired characters (maybe they don’t sell as much like piko idk) or how they need to learn their audience consist of neurodivergent gays afraid of change, I don’t have an explanation for this one. Surely I could search and find out something but I don’t know why flower took such a leap from her talk vb to ci. I understand you change as you grow blah blah blah but still how did she go from confidence and the only problem you see is her dropping her head phones in talk to “c-can you p-pass the ketchup m-mi-miss?” She looks so scared and nervous😭.

Her voice

holllyyyyy crap. I could take the model, “pink eyes are unrealistic anyways… maybe it’s just shading” but the difference from AI and hand done is just.. wow… on one hand maybe maturing caused a bit more feminine to come into her life but oh my flying Fukase. Dunno whoever’s reading this but that whole “learn their audience” was observing how me and other autistic people felt about the design😭😭😭 I hate change so when I heard the lower one’s eyes cover I almost had a panic attack. Where is the angrodgany??? Where’s the vflower??? I get they’re supposed to sound realistic but it just sounds feminine. Could just be the creature of habit thing but I personally prefer her older voice banks just because of the power and emotion I feel from her voice. Some covers make her sound real, like she’s struggled just like us. So far the songs with CI in them sound… well.. AI. Advanced AI, sure, but ai nonetheless.

summary-ish

if you hate this woman now because of the design, take a deep breath and remember…

YOU CAN HEADCANON ANYTHING!!!!!

Re-make flower, nothing is canon other than existence, and even those boundaries are tested by creative people! Have fun making a flower that represents YOU. It’s a voice with a name and that’s all that matters. Self project on the plant and give her a life you’d like! Still don’t think she’s a girl? PRONOUN IT UP! Flower is just a singing software package, have fun making her what you want to see while supporting others:D

Have a good day I am done yammering

[ao3feed-tedlasso]

Yes I'm a Mess

https://ift.tt/mne2dvb by Calicomarie11 Trent runs into Ted on the streets of Liverpool after the Greyhounds defeated Everton F.C. Fair warning, read the tags! This is darker than my usual works and I can't promise a happy ending for the boys. Words: 1171, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Ted Lasso, Trent Crimm Relationships: Trent Crimm/Ted Lasso Additional Tags: Gay Disaster Trent Crimm, Bisexual disaster Ted Lasso, Trent is scared and horny, Liverpool, aftermath of panic attack, Toxic Ted, Crack, Porn with a hint of Plot, Enemies to Fuck Budies, Aggressive Ted Lasso, Angst, Shades of NBC!Ted, Sorry Not Sorry, Everton, no fucks to give source https://archiveofourown.org/works/53931751 February 20, 2024 at 08:38AM

[julie-su]

for the ask game how about.... Elias? If not him then Tikal?

Elias my beloved <3

Sexuality Headcanon: I am a Bisexual Elias truther XD Gender Headcanon: I like to think he's a trans man A ship I have with said character: I am an Elias and Megan understander. Imagine disappearing into the woods and you find a beautiful woman who you love, and this woman's already pregnant and you don't have to do the mathematics what with him being a trans man, you just get to have a beautiful wife and daughter. Living the dream. A BROTP I have with said character: I think Elias becoming BFF's with grandpas is the funniest thing. I legally require for him to befriend not JUST Chuck, but also the entirety of the Brotherhood of Guardians. You get invited to a boys' night with Elias and you wonder if you accidentally walked into Bingo Night. A NOTP I have with said character: The ones I'm thinking of go without saying XD but on the not morally heinous scale... I don't know, really! A random headcanon: When he was younger, he was convinced that he was just a weird shaped echidna... All of the absailing he does is in fruition to feel closer to gliding, humoring his younger self. General Opinion over said character: I love Elias with my whole heart! Actually, when choosing a middle name, I chose Elias because of him. ... I might as well do Tikal, too, whilst I'm here X3

Sexuality Headcanon: Gay gay homosexual gay Gender Headcanon: I think Tikal has her own connection with gender, but I can only describe what I'm thinking of with the vague umbrella term of genderqueer XD A ship I have with said character: I do like some fics and art of Shade and Tikal having a 'Romeo & Juliet', though they end just as tragically, as Tikal is sealed in the M.E, and Shade is sent to the Twilight Cage >w> so.. Tragic. A BROTP I have with said character: Knuckles and Tikal make a killer duo, if you go with Spirit Tikal from Post-SGW Archie! I also think she really enjoys her time spent with Relic, I think she rarely gets asked about herself and her origins, so it's really nice for her to be able to sit and just talk. A NOTP I have with said character: Folllowing on from the above, I doooon't really like Knuckles being shipped with Tikal. It just feels... Wrong? A random headcanon: Tikal suffers from the 'feed a victorian child MTN Dew and they will explode' phenomenom. If her body became tangible, and you put her on Extreme Gear or a car such as TSR, she's having a panic attack. She's mortified, she's miserable, she has NO clue what is going on, and she just realised that this thing is incredibly easy to ram into people and completely incapacitate them. 'Oh, why, cruel aurora, was such a contraption ever concieved!?' General Opinion over said character: Tikal is the reason I'm a ding dang Sonic fan, so it's safe to say I like her a lot XD You really chose two of my all-time favourites here!

[virdemption]

Allan Headcanons Revisited! (Some May Change)

-Demiboy and Gay, dating Carlo.

-He/They but leaning more towards He.

-He’s the goalie for his hockey team.

-Mentioned in another post but he and Willow are siblings and they both have the last name Wood.

-Blind. During the events of PL1 he managed to escape his confines but was quickly caught by Sarge’s henchmen who wanted to mess him up a little more before imprisoning him again. So not only does he get a lack of vision but he also has chronic eye stinging alongside chronically bloodshot eyes.

-For a while he almost debating not wearing shades because they kept getting damaged in Oniontown along with one pair getting stolen. He eventually decided no he won’t and during Portalini Feast he likes to wear a green ribbon.

-Loved the mocharia job but hates the mocharia life team to death. He ended up quitting a month after the film was released and regretted it at first but was happy to hear a replacement was found.

-Scars all over his body, most notably on the torso and arm/hands thanks to bullying, enraged rivaling hockey players, and brew station burns. Willow tries to help him whenever he has injuries and she’s fairly skilled in first aid cause of this.

-Hates being touched so much and will push people away often. He only trusts Willow, and Carlo (but even then he still gets uncomfy sometimes)

-Mousse and Whippa (but mostly Mousse) were his bullies in high school. Mousse’s shades he wears were the pair stolen from Allan.

-Bottles up a lot of stuff and I mean a lot. Anxiety/Panic attacks manifest in him as prolonged bouts of rage and it gets really destructive really fast. It’s almost impossible to calm him down so Carlo often just acknowledges him and puts water bottles in the fridge for Allan for relief when he’s calmed.

-Instinctively snaps and gets angry at people if he feels uncomfortable, even towards those he really likes. He’s trying to weave out of it and Carlo is trying to help him.

-People who are even just acquaintances with him somehow manage to consistently (though not often) have the worst nightmares about him ever whether that’s him dying, bodyhorror, phobias, etc. and this affects people more depending on how close they are with him. Nobody knows why this happens and Allan himself has no idea this is even happening.

[max--phillips]

Max immediately throwing shade at Evan with the I love you thing

Evan just straight up having a panic attack the entire time Max is giving the sales is seduction speech

Also Ted’s right Evan would’ve eaten shit in that position he’s an entitled brat

The fact Max calls her Mandy when Evan comes into his office

Obsessed with the weird low-quality cg games Tim and Mike are shown playing

Mike like “take whatever you want I don’t care about this company lmao bye”

“I believe I know this cat sir”

“I wasn’t gay they just had a really good archery program”

The way that Max says “Evan, Evan, slow down. What’s up now?” without changing his facial expression At All is hilarious

“Okay, now I’m gonna kill him.”

[ao3feed-larry]

Orange Juice and Strawberry Wine, still makes me cry

by nysaline

“Hey Curly”

 Fuck

 Harry opened his eyes to see Louis Tomlinson sitting so close to him that he could smell his cologne. (How did Harry not hear him sit down, actually screw that, how did Harry not smell him sit down)

Up close Harry could see the age cemented a little more in his features. His jaw was lost of any baby fat that might of lingered in high school but his eyes were the same piercing shade of blue that haunted Harrys most private dreams. He has lots of little tattoos around a larger one of a bird and he was staring at Harry because Harry wasn’t saying anything.

“He-Hi, Um Hi how are- I mean ah- Hey” Harry cringed mentally cursing his tongue for growing two sizes in his mouth. That’s why he can’t talk ok? No other reason.

“To answer what I think you were gonna say, I’m doing good how are you Haz?”

 Harry returns to the high school that caused him all the trauma he is still working though today. He finds ghosts of his former life, the good ones and the bad.

Words: 5776, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: One Direction (Band)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen, M/M

Characters: Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan, Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Simon Cowell

Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne

Additional Tags: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Unrequited Crush, but not really, Mental Health Issues, Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, But also, Gay Panic, Talk of Suicide, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this to work though my trauma, Coming Out

via AO3 works tagged 'Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson' https://ift.tt/PLRgwb8

[wanderingrain]

Thoughts on Never Let Me Go Ep 5

I really don't like Palm's dad. There is no excuse for treating your kid the way he treats Palm. If someone tells Palm "it's because he loves you" I'm going to scream. People don't abuse and neglect their kids out of love.

Oh it wasn't a panic attack after all. Cross it out of the books people. We're back to one (1) accurately portrayed panic attack in BL. (You're My Sky)

Anybody want to help me make Palm's dad mysteriously dissappear?

Neung's mom says "You are the most important person in my life." And i can see Neung mentally being locked back up inside his birdcage. Look at his face.

Neung trying to give Palm what his dad refuses to. I know a lot of people probably just want Neung to say sorry right now but I don't think he knows how. Also it's not really the place to have any sort of emotional talk. But he saw Palm ask his dad to care for him and get denied so he's trying to do what Palm asked for. He's saying 'I see you and I care' while also trying to stay nonchalant.

Now he's kind of trying to say sorry with writing on the cast.

I will enjoy any sweet little moment you throw my way. Them looking into each other's eyes will get me every time.

Oh no Ben. I can never tell if he's trying to shade Palm or if it's just the subtitles that make it sound that way.

This poor cast of kids who feel like who they are isn't enough because of their crappy parents. It's hard when there are parts of yourself that you find joy in but you know you can never share them with your parents because they would ruin it and turn it into something bad.

Literally cannot decide how I feel about Ben. This is maddening. Are you friend or foe? I blame Tumblr.

The orange of Neung's horse's tack matches the orange on Palm's shirt.

Maggie thank you for the product placement but please stop this. Please find a new crush, preferably a girl. I'm so tired of girls who are only in the story because they have a crush on one of the leads.

Why do Thai BLs choose Christmas music in the most random of scenes? It baffles me every time. 🤣

Every time they show me the outside of Neung's house, I'm reminded how dark this show is. I keep trying to turn up the brightness on my laptop. I respect it as an artistic choice but I do wish the show was a bit brighter.

Ahh yes the 'you already spent money/ time on this thing for me but I'm giving it back to you' trope. Otherwise known as the "I may be poor but I don't want your handouts" trope. Annoying. Been done before. Encourages people to be the "right type" of poor person, like if you just work hard enough you can stop being poor as if it's that simple.

Oof this whole conversation. That's all I'm going to say about it.

Maybe I'm not the target audience for this show. Anybody wanna round up all the parents in this show and make them disappear? I knew I would hate Ben's dad but wow is my blood boiling.

Finally a person speaking up for themselves in a situation like this.

I honestly don't blame Ben for caving. His dad seems like the type who would beat him for being gay. It's really not safe for him to come out in that situation.

I can breathe again Chopper is here! Perth is so beautiful. Chopper's hand on Ben's. I love him and I'm almost positive nothing he does will change that for me.

What? Cast? Why? Huh? Moving on I guess.

I love a good breakdown when it's deserved and boy was this deserved. I feel so bad for all these boys. Neung's been bullied and/or used by every kid in his life at this point. Poor baby was gonna crack.

Neung's face is in purple light and Palm's face is in pink light. I don't know what it means but it feels significant.

There's the apology.

Was not expecting Palm to be the one to make the first move. Also yeah that is definitely a kiss.

Neung leaning into Palm makes me so soft

Oh wow so his mom does notice that he represses himself around her. Ok Khun Thanya is the only parent we save. Let's hope that she sticks by what she says when she realizes Neung doesn't want the business. If this show ends with him running it I will be very angry. I'm sick of shows where parents force their kids to give up on their dreams in order to run the family business and it's seen as a good ending.

Not Palm being unable to stop smiling. 🥰 His dad's about to ruin it I can tell.

"I don't care about your happiness." Dad tells son who smiles in front of him for the first time.

"Other people should be afraid of you." Uhhh how about nobody's afraid of anybody? That's not a weird and suspicious thing to say at all. (Sarcasm)

Show I literally just took Khun Thanya off the kill list, what are you doing?

It's interesting. Neung literally just said "I'm not going to run away" and then immediately the people who have power over him forced him to run away. Every time he tries to take power for himself, he's pushed back down and told that it's not his to take.

I don't watch the previews for next the episode because i like to go in blind so if you comment please don't talk about the preview. Thanks for reading!

[the-kids-posts]

OC Couple Questions

OCs I'm using for this list:

Christian Allard

Chronos

I'm gonna be honest here and say that I haven't thought about these two OCs in a little while now. Their stories are also incomplete, so for me, answering these questions allows me the opportunity to develop them even further!

What were their first impressions of each other?

For Christian, he was extremely on edge when he first met Chronos. I mean... Chronos literally tried to kill him. He understood Chronos' situation and that Chronos was only trying to protect his homeland and what was left of his people, but that didn't make Christian any less nervous. For Chronos, he didn't trust Christian in the slightest, just barely enough to spare him and keep an eye on him. He didn't drop his guard around Christian in case if he tried anything, but felt Christian was an odd ball.

Is it a casual relationship, or true love? Or somewhere in between?

It was a bit casual at first, but it slowly grows from casual to true love.

What was each of them's "oh shit, I have feelings for them" moment?

For Chronos, it was when Christian helped him settle into his new life in New Flare city as an embassador of the Xenians. The realization of Christian's passion for caring and ensuring that other people were safe and comfortable, regardless of their history or even their race, caused him to have a gay panic attack. Chronos may or may not have had these feelings long before hand. For Christian, it was somewhere in the period in which Chronos is learning to live in the city life and in a much, much warmer climate. All it literally took was seeing Chronos dressed up in a button-up Hawaiian-like shirt with some shades and shorts for Christian to have a bi panic attack and a few interactions for him to realize that he may have felt something for Chronos.

Did either of them fight their feelings, or was it easy to accept?

Oh, both of them actually try to fight their feelings as soon as they realize it. Given their histories with one another, they feel it really awkward how they actually manage to fall in love with someone who once stood on the opposite end of the battlefield. Despite their best attempts to hide it, they're both dorks and even a kid like Nicole or Christian's twin sister, Aurora, read the atmosphere between them. Aurora and Nicole found amusement in the whole thing.

When was their first "I love you"? What prompted it? If neither has said it yet, why?

As of now, Neither of them have officially said it yet, because I haven't planned out how they'll end up being together. I know they'll be an adorable pair in my eyes, but I don't quite know how to write these two to get together-

WHO'S THE BIG SPOON WHO'S THE LITTLE SPOON TELL ME NOW!!!

Christian is the little spoon. Chronos finds being the little spoon far too embarrassing, so he prefers to just hold Christian and protect him.

What was the biggest obstacle to their relationship?

Again, unfortunately I haven't written that just yet either. Maybe in the future I'll redo this thing when I've better worked on their relationship.

What drew them to each other the most?

For Christian, a part of it was the growing bond between his adopted daughter Nicole, and Chronos himself. Even though Chronos didn't quite know how to act around children, he still kind of tried to look after Nicole and ensure she was okay (albeit the expense of embarrassing himself with childish games or having to do anything silly), and more than anything, seeing how Chronos turned from a cold-hearted guardian of the last surviving Xenians, to a serious but gentle soul who is content by just being able to finally live a life without worrying about his race. For Chronos, it was in general, getting to know Christian. He couldn't, and still finds it hard to believe, that there's someone who is as selfless as Christian and doesn't want anything at all in return. He's even more amazed upon learning that even though there was an incident Christian has caused that took the lives of many, many people, Christian was still somehow able to be this sweet, cheerful and carefree guy that he got to meet. And he's glad he met him.

How long did they know each other before developing feelings?

Let's see... I wanted it to not be too long, but not too short of a period of time either. When Chronos moves into New Flare, Christian and him had already known each other by a couple of months, but the emotions don't set forth until about a year later or possibly more.

What's each's favorite quality of the other?

For Christian, it'd no doubt be Chronos' calm nature. Normally, Chronos is able to be calm and collected in a lot of stressful situations, and is actually pretty smart in battle. Christian finds this so cool, but he also loves how Chronos can be really sweet to people he considers close, something he doesn't tend to express often. For Chronos, it's Christian's incredible empathy and capacity to forgive people even when they did a lot of wrong in the past. But the thing he likes the most? Christian never hesitates to stand up for what he believes in. If Christian thinks something is the right thing to do, he'll fight until he's able to achieve that goal.

And that should be it for me. In case if you want to know where I got the list, I'll put the link of the Pinterest I found down here. Feel free to ask me about my OCs, I'm more than happy to answer!

https://pin.it/DPpVO0h

[ayazumi]

pajama thief

(click for better quality)

[lesbianlotties]

“You’re blushing” “I know” 👀 👀 👀

something something 3 times robin denied blushing for nancy and one time she didn't + being gay on every season

It was winter. It was supposed to be cold. Why was Robin feeling like she was on fire? Why was she even acting like she didn’t know the answer? It was obviously because she was walking down the street with none other than Nancy Wheeler holding on to her arm and pressed close to Robin’s body. Just for warmth, Robin told herself, it didn’t mean anything else. Except…

“You’re blushing,” Nancy pointed out suddenly.

“Am I?” Robin stuttered, hoping she could hide inside her coat like a turtle.

“It’s cute,” Nancy said, snuggling even closer to Robin as they continued to walk slowly down the sleepy streets of Hawkins and Robin tried not to have a heart attack.

--

“Are you okay?” Nancy asked, prompting Robin’s eyes to snap open in alarm.

“Uh, yeah? I mean, yeah! Why… Why do you ask?” Robin said and cleared her throat. Of course she wasn’t alright. It was spring and they were making the most of it by spending most of their free time outside, sitting under the shade of a tree and reading the other one’s favorite books side by side. Until Nancy decided to lean her head against Robin’s shoulder and send her on yet another panic attack.

“Well, you’re blushing,” Nancy explained patiently, looking up at Robin with sweet and entirely oblivious blue eyes.

“Allergies,” Robin lied through her teeth and added an awkward smile for good measure. But it seemed to work, for now, and Nancy continued reading, still not knowing the effect she had on the other girl.

--

Robin was drowning. Maybe she had actually pulled herself out of the pool to sit on the edge, but maybe she was drowning with… air. Surely that made sense. That was the only explanation for the sudden pressure in her chest and the feeling that she could die at any minute. Or maybe that was the effect of seeing Nancy Wheeler swim across the pool toward her.

“Robin,” Nancy called out when she was close enough, a little breathless and absolutely gorgeous. “You’re blushing,” she added as soon as she was right beside Robin, leaning into the edge of the pool, her arm brushing the skin of Robin’s thigh.

“I got a sunburn!” Robin exclaimed, a little too loudly, way too nervously. She rubbed her hands over her face to try and hide her embarrassment, but then she heard Nancy’s next words and instead started to wonder if she could die from sunburn or blushing too hard.

“Do you want me to help you put on sunscreen?”

--

It was a perfect day. The weather was perfect and had been for several days. Robin had always loved fall, and considering that was the season when she and Nancy finally admitted their feelings for each other, it would always be her favorite season.

“You’re blushing,” Nancy whispered, laying on her side on her bed and facing Robin.

“I know,” Robin replied. “How can I not? You just told me you like me back.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you for months, Robin,” Nancy confessed, moving just a little closer to Robin.

“Oh… Oh,” Robin gasped, blushing even more and more when she heard Nancy chuckle softly. Well, at least this time she could do something about it. She could lean in and kiss Nancy in the middle of her laugh, tasting both of their happiness in a perfect kiss.

[zombie-boygrrl]

TF2 Headcanons because I'm hyperfixated

Scout;

—Bisexual [female preference]

—Transexual Male

—Autistic

—Struggles with AFRID as a result of being autistic

—Favourite colour is a very specific shade of purple, so close to being grey

—His favourite food is anything pastry based. Sausage rolls, cake, steak bakes, anything like that.

—He has insecurities regarding his teeth, he sometimes brushes them three or four times a day so they don't yellow

—His favourite music genre falls in between pop, soft rock and jazz.

—His brown hair starts greying pretty early on, at about age twenty three. He tries dying it with motor oil but that kills his hair so he shaves it and goes more or less bald, so covers his head with a hat until his hair starts to grow back

—He hates the taste of cigarettes but he loves the smell, so he sometimes sneaks around to Spy's smoking room, slumping against the wall with his knees pressed up to his chest so he can find some peace

—He loves salty food and fish food, specifically cod or salmon

—He wears his arm/palm bandages for sensory issues, to act as a pressure on his hands and to prevent his skin touching any unlikable material

—His name Jeremy comes from the fact his mother is a subtle Catholic; his name meaning God Will Uplift.

—He acts better than the other men on the team because he doesn't quite believe he's good enough, smart enough, strong enough to be on the team

—He has PTSD

Medic;

—He's also on the autism spectrum

—His special interest is medical/biological sciences

—He doesn't believe in labelling sexualities because he believes they're too naunced and fluid for such a small word to capture entirely complex ideas; he does, however, self identify as a gay man

—He likes jazz and classical music, and he has stolen vinyls from Spy before

—He prefers fruit flavoured beers to stronger spirits

—He has a dad bod, with a slight belly

—He loves his body, even going as far as to boast about how he'd be less likely than the other men to freeze to death if they ever got trapped in a cold country

—He gives Scout top surgery without any complications via his sadomasochistic tendencies because he knows how important this surgery is. He does, however, leave a small smily face carved into Jeremy's left on side, sort of like a signature

Heavy;

—He's neurodivergent, but not specifically ADHD/Autistic

—He likes guns because he likes carrying heavy things; it reminds him of being able to carry things for his mother if she couldn't lift them. It makes him feel useful

—He loves savoury food, but not so much salty food

—He wants to learn how to play guitar but he's tried to play Engineer's before, yet he ended up accidentally breaking it

—He's slightly colour blind, pink and blue

—His love language is acts of service

—His favourite music taste is cultural; both his own and others, because he can respect that others have pride in their heritage

—He actually has freckles on his arms but that's it

Engineer;

—Dell claims to be straight, but has thought about sleeping with Soldier, and has actively hit on him before

—He wanted to play the cello but could never get the hang of it, and that's why he plays guitar instead

—His favourite colour is yellow

—Whenever he's angry, he'll write a poem about why he's angry but then he'll burn it, as if he's burning his anger

—He always side hugs the team if they seem down, unless it's Demoman or Scout; he just pats Demoman's shoulder because the other doesn't like hugs but he always gives Scout a bear hug because the other's love language is physical touch

—He doesn't have a favourite music genre, he only hates opera

—Yeah, he's autistic.

Soldier;

—He has internalised homophobia; he is bisexual, and his fiancée helps him accept that, and he can finally be at peace with himself

—He has PTSD

—He avoids rock music, mainly heavy rock and metal, because loud noises start to send him into panic attacks

—His favourite food is tomato soup

—He is also colour blind, red and green

Demoman;

—His favourite music genre is rock

—He eats pickles dipped in chocolate when he's drunk because he loves the contrast of the sweet and salty

—He always tries to beat up Ludwig when the medic claims to have a better dad bod, he makes it a competition

—I just love him, you know? Silly man.

Sniper;

—Gay, transexual man

—Autistic and emotionally constipated

—Love language is someone killing someone else for him

—Favourite food is gerkins or cheese sandwiches

—His favourite music genre is western. Just everything western. It doesn't actually matter the specific genre

—He has hit on Spy, Scout and Medic, with little to no shame

Pyro;

—Non binary, intersexual aro/ace

—Obviously schizophrenic

—Favourite animal is a turtle

—Favourite colour is pale orange

—Favourite drink is sugar water

—Favourite food is carrot cake

—Eats rocks sometimes. Not related to their hallucinations, it just likes eating rocks

Spy;

—He has an extreme inferiority complex so he acts classier, far more sophisticated, more superior than the others to make up for it

—Bisexual, but he has never dated a man; he hates having the chance he could be tied down by anyone

—Reads up classical art forms so he can impress people

—He's got autism, baby

—Looks at Scout and his heart breaks when he sees his son's insecurity; he knows he could've been a better father, and knows he could've helped Jeremy grow into himself better and carries shame with himself

—His favourite colour is brown

—He loves mythology

—He has a fear of being forgotten

—He has a bit of an alcohol problem

—Transfem, uses both she/he prounouns

[—Logan]