#Silly headcanons

[bytelezz]

Long Bacon Store (Please do not reblog or use this art with intention to ship these characters, I am not comfortable with that. Thank you.)

[tvgals]

sex isn’t always serious, so here’s my personal headcannons for silly sex moments w the jjk men :P

satoru has definitely farted a couple of times…like not even in a “you smell like shit way” but in a “i got nervy” way 😭 you’re so perfect! he can’t help but want to do everything right!

“t-oru!” you squeal, hands caressing his toned shoulders. “stay with me, baby..” he groans. his face is in the cork of your neck, unable to look at your gorgeous face — he’d cum right on the spot otherwise. “please…look at me, toru..” you manage to gasp out between moans. he lift his head up, lip between his teeth as he looks up at your beautiful face. “hi..” he whispers, pressing his forehead to yours. as his pace speeds up, and before either of you can utter another word…it slips out. satoru stops in his tracks, his cheeks to the top of his ears turning beet red. you let out a small chuckle. “w-was that the bed?” you start to cackle, your body shaking in amusement. satoru shoves his face back into the crook of your neck, his face hot with embarrassment.

“not funny!”

suguru’s hair has often been a detriment when it comes to sex, although you love how long it is and you enjoy doing different styles, his pride can’t get himself to pull his hair all the way up.

“baby…” you whine, tugging at the stray hairs that keep falling onto your face. “hm?” he hums, breath ragged as his aligns his dick into your hole. “pull you hair all the way up!” you reprimand him before you feel the filling feeling of your fiancées cock. “yknow i can’t do that, love.” he whispers into your ear, his hair quite literally suffocating you. “sugu’,” you huff out, frustrated that he’s not listening. you push his shoulders up and scrunch your eyebrows in a frustrated expression. “pull your hair up or we’re going to bed.” you threaten the man above you. he groans and drops his body weight onto you, knocking the wind out of your body.

“guess we’ll have to go to bed then.”

nanami often cramps when doing normal tasks, the constant strain on his body often manifesting as charley horses. “more!” you moan out, your back arching into your husband’s built frame. he groans in response to your body language, his strong hands lifting up your upper body, he’s on his knees while your legs are wrapped around his waist. while fucking you in this oh so deliberate position, it happens.

“ah, fuck!” he yells out, laying your body down onto the plush bed despite the pain shooting through his legs. you watch in confusion as your husband writhes around the bed in pain.

“don’t just look at me! help!” he grunts. you giggle to yourself while crawling over to him, stretching his leg out.

“maybe next time we’ll stick to missionary.”

choso doesn’t know what he’s doing. he knows that he wants to make you feel good, and he knows that you make him feel good all the time, so why can’t he do the same? it’s simple, right? he watches it all the time! just stick it in and go in and out…right?

“choso, baby..” you mutter, putting a hand up to his hips. “huh?” he responds, trying to line his cock up with your hole. “do you need help?” you ask tilting his chin to make him look at you. he exhales gruffly, tears brimming at his eyes. he’s so frustrated! he just wants to make you feel good! “just breathe. i promise it’s easier than you’re making it out to be.” you comfort him, caressing his biceps. he slowly sticks his cock in, but you jolt in surprise.

“wrong hole!”

toji claims to be the best person you’ll ever fuck — but he’s also getting old and lazy. “get uppp!” you whine, shaking his body in annoyance. he promised he was gonna fuck you just the way you’ve been asking these past weeks, but he’s just too “tired to do so!

“doll, go lay on the bed f’me.” you smile and make your way towards the bedroom — clothes off in almost an instant. you grin at the thought of what toji was gonna do, so eager to be pleased by the man you vowed to be with for eternity…but you sat in the bed for ten…then fifteen..which turned into twenty…which seeped into an hour! you were so upset, stomping your way into the living room to see toji — asleep. he’s snoring with drool pooling around his mouth. you roll your eyes and smack the back of his head.

“stay there.” you mumble, rolling your eyes.

[ghcstao3]

everyone jokes that ghost was raised by cats just because he has so many mannerisms that are vaguely feline in nature. like how he rubs his shoulder against any one of the 141 in passing. or how he can fall asleep anywhere, at any time, in any position. or even his penchant for harmless mischief, although soap would claim that being tripped on several occasions does not exactly fall under the harmless category.

and the most ironic part of it all? ghost is, of course, very, very allergic to cats.

[forgedbycelest]

And this is why Caine decides what the cast earns at the end of each adventure because if it were up to individual requests, Jax and Zooble would most likely ask for booze amongst other things that aren't for all-ages!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

everyone settling into the hotel and figuring out the unsaid rules of cohabitation like

1 - it’s okay for Angel Dust to leave work stuff lying around IF ITS WASHED

2 - if you want a drink you ASK Husk. If you want to die you mess with his drink display

3 - TV is timeshared and if Alastor wants to use his timeslot to turn the tv OFF then no you can’t watch it just because he’s not using it

4 - Niffty can pin up the cockroach kill of the week in the lobby for everyone to wince at but it has to be on the cork board Charlie bought for her and she has to take the old ones down first each time

5 - if you break it you rebuild / replace it. You do NOT upgrade it with weapons while doing so (Sir Pentious THIS MEANS YOU) 5b - as long as it gets rebuilt / replaced no one gets to make a huge deal over something being broken or blown up again (or at Sir Pentious for doing it)

6 - don’t move around the fucking lobby furniture without moving it back afterwards 6b - if it’s in your room then you can do what you want but in all shared spaces the furniture NEEDS to be kept tidy and in proper place unless you want to hear swearing and sounds of violence as Vaggie trips over and throws her spear into a wall in frustration again, ruining the paper 6c - every third time this happens everyone has to sit through another presentation by Charlie explaining how having one eye is different when it’s not huge and in the middle of your head and you’re not basically at ground level

7 - Charlie can sing but only between 10am and 10pm unless it’s an emergency. If she tries singing outside of that whoever’s nearest is allowed to GENTLY hush her 7b - if you hush Charlie at any other time Vaggie will chase you. 7c - the above is NOT a recommended source of healthy exercise (you will have trauma)

8 - and above all have fun and FUCK yourself!

- Whoever changed “be” to “fuck”- it’s okay and you are loved <3

- Platonically. You are loved platonically, by me Charlie, who is writing this while standing next to my beautiful girlfriend.

- hey Charlie puff you alright? Sounds like she had a gun to your head while you were writin’ this XD

- It was more like her lips on my neck but yeah pretty close!

9 - Charlie and Vaggie are not allowed to be gross and cute in common areas they have a room for that sappy shit and need to keep it there thanks

- Homophobia.

- this is hell, toots

- You are literally a gay man Angel Dust

- I contain multitudes. Multitudes of d

- Bonding between friends is WONDERFUL but this is a list of rules not a chat room so let’s end things here ha ha ha ! Great job everyone!!!!

- KILL

- niffty what the fuck did you write that in it wont wash off

- BLOOD~

[stxxryvoid]

˚₊‧꒰ა Silly Things That They Do ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Genshin Impact

✧ Silly (and sometimes annoying) things that they do, but it's okay you love them anyway <3

✧ Featuring ✧ Childe, Heizou, Kazuha, Kaeya, Venti, Kaveh, and Itto x GN! Reader (Separate)

✧ Content Warnings ✧ Some swearing

✧ Childe

"Rise and shine sleepy head!" No further explanations needed.

He'll roll you up in your blankets for no apparent reason and then leave before you can escape the soft prison he put you in.

If you're going to jump on the bed he'll mf snatch the pillow and you fall on the bed itself.

When he's cooking he'll def shape the food into cute shapes.

He'd probably find something you're looking for and say he doesn't know where it is, but a while later will give it to you so you can praise him and give him a kiss.

Comes up from behind you and puts his hands over your eyes saying: "Guess who?"

Tells you to stay out of trouble when he's gone even though anything you do will never amount to the shit he does when he's working.

✧ Shikanoin Heizou

Kicks your feet under the table like he's a damn child.

Anytime he does something he expects a kiss as a reward.

He could literally open a jar you couldn't open and expect a big kiss and cuddles.

If you ask him to make you coffee he'll definitely make it!

You just won't get it unless you get up yourself because you only asked him to make it not bring it.

But if you ask him next time to bring the coffee he'll bring the whole ass coffee pot bc you didn't ask for it in a cup.

Will blame you for him waking up late on a work day when he's the one staying up late to work on cases.

Gets genuinely offended when you tell him no fried food bc it's not good for him.

He does a ">:(" and gives you one-worded responses for an hour.

He's not mad he's just the biggest tease to exist on Teyvat.

Start getting actually upset and he actually feels so bad and does anything to make it up to you.

✧ Kaedehara Kazuha

Comes up behind you without making a sound says "Hi." and scares the living daylights out of you.

If you catch him doing smth he'll use such poetic words you can't even understand to get out of the situation.

Starts spitting poetry out of nowhere.

It could be dead silent between the two of you and he gives you a romantic poem.

If he's cooking he will put food you do not like in there but hide it so well it tastes good to you.

While you're eating he'll stare at you like 🙂

Then you realized you fell victim to eating smth like brussel sprouts again.

If you're working he'll deadass show up in your office or smth.

Like how??

No notification from your coworkers and you js look up he's there.

Kazuha 10/10 horror movie killer material, silent footsteps, appears out of nowhere, unsuspecting, and has a sharp weapon

He knows so many cats like wtf

A cat comes up to him he pets it and says "Hi, cat name." AND DOES IT W SO MANY CATS??

✧ Kaeya

Okay I know I called Heizou the biggest tease but I changed my mind.

If Heizou is the king of teasing Kaeya is the all knowing, all powerful, all mighty god of teasing.

Flirts with you at the most random times.

Could be fighting some monsters he decides its the best time to try a new pick up line.

And it's always the best one's too, but he decides to save the horrendous ones for completely normal times.

He has no life.

With no cavalry to captain he can't be the cavalry captain so with nothing to do most of the time he's glued to your hip.

He'll play with your hair in front of someone no matter how many times you smack his hand away.

Claims he needs some random article of clothing on him fixed just so he can have your attention.

Y'know that thing where you bump your hip on someone to make them trip/fall over?

He does that.

If you stumble he'll act like he did nothing and turn the other way.

If you fall and it's hilarious he'll laugh before helping you up.

But if you fall and hurt yourself he'll actually feel bad and help you up and make sure you're okay. He's at your beck and call for the rest of the day.

He needs attention.

It's like taking care of a big cat.

✧ Venti

Also does the hip bump thing.

If you go to find him after he does some drinking he could be in the most random ass position ever.

Laying back down legs up against a building.

Passed out on some hay in a crate.

Sleeping under a bench.

You can't even be surprised anymore.

His feet are actually icebergs.

When he takes off them stocking things he puts his feet on you and your body temperature decreases by 20 degrees.

Styles his hair and yours in the most random ways.

If you wear makeup he took it once and ended up looking like a barbie doll got into a street fight and lost.

Sings you songs about the most random shit.

He turned milk and cookies into a song.

Meowing back at cats is normal.

But he barks back at dogs and really puts the enthusiasm in it..

✧ Kaveh

Plays with his food.

Moves it around on his plate to form shapes before he actually eats it.

Sometimes is drinking while he draws things and was painting once and ended up drinking the paint water on accident.

He spat it out and started rubbing his tongue while you and Al haitham were like 🤨

Thought all he loses are his keys?

Nah everything he's touched has been lost at least once.

He's still looking for some things that vanished into thin air.

He sometimes talks in his sleep.

Mostly about you, cats, dogs, and food.

He's actually so knowledgeable on beauty products??

You could be buying something for skin care and he snatches it and says "No."

"Don't buy this..." and yaps on for a good minute.

Then he'll go and pick up smth else for you and buy it for you and you're js left there shocked.

✧ Arataki Itto

This man is the epitome of silly.

He also cant whisper for shit.

Do NOT shit talk someone to him all of Inazuma will know within 30 minutes.

He has so many spare combs.

A backup comb for his comb a back-backup comb for the backup comb a back-back-backup comb for the back-backup comb and so on...

Don't give him hot sauce. Just don't.

Do NOT mess up his hair. He'll be ":(" the entire day.

He knows about lots of good food.

Can he cook any of this good food?

Hell no.

If you cook him anything he'll be so happy and eats every last crumb, would probably eat the plate to get all the macromolecules of the food.

(If he even knew what a macromolecule is)

If you make him something it's treasured forever and the only fingerprints on it are yours and his.

Definitely owns a diary somewhere.

-Stxxry

[minispicecrk]

Burning Spice's obsession with hello kitty

This started as a joke, but now it's my favourite headcanon

[notsocooljess]

a silly headcanon i have for peeta is that he is just LOUD. not just his feet when he walks. he has a voice that you can pinpoint out in a crowded room. his laugh can be heard above everyone else’s. sometimes when he gets excited his voice gets even louder and he has to ask katniss “i’m yelling, aren’t i?” when he notices her eyes getting wider. he can command a space with his words but also his sheer volume.

[petvampire]

… I’m just saying that Crystal Palace deserves to have big, fuck-off, enchanted crystal-studded brass knuckles for fighting supernatural things. Girl is clearly not afraid to throw hands, she deserves it.

[canonical-transformation]

People will try to tell you that this giant Dodoco is an avatar Alice uses to communicate with us.

Do not believe them. This is literally Alice in person. This is her playable character model.

[apollosothertwin]

Apollo sucked all of Artemis’ romance out of her in the womb. that’s the real reason why she is aroace and he has so many relationships.

[wednesdayschildswitchcraft]

I have a personal headcanon that all of the bats in the batfamily can cook, but to differing degrees.

Alfred: God among Men, high brow and low brow, man lived with post-war rationing and army meals, can also lay out a 5 course gourmet meal of any type of cuisine, only weakness is waffles, just can't get the timing and consistency correct.

Bruce: can cook, but only if he focuses on it, if he gets distracted, he will burn it whatever it is. Will still eat it because he doesn't actually care about taste. Eating is annoying type of autistic

Dick: has a solid 5 to 10 things he can consistently cook well that's mostly just basics with one 'special occasions' meal, otherwise, human garbage disposal that eats mostly carnival foods if left to his own devises.

Jason: solid cook, learned a lot from Alfred, mostly cooks poor/street food type things from around the world, but can elevate it to gourmet if needed. May or may not have worked as a line cook at one point. Prone to using too much rosemary/garlic/paprika according to people with a weaker palette

Tim: the best stoner food ever. 10/10 no notes. Gives line cook energy after 48hrs awake. Also, on the rare occasion he can get his brain out of casework, pastries. It's chemistry but for food with razor-thin margins of error and painstaking attention to detail, so it's like a little treat for himself

Steph: normal basic cooking. Crockpot and casserole supremacy, cookies and basic cakes. Nothing fancy, no frills, has definitely worked as a fry cook at one point.

Cass: learned from Dick, 5-10 basics, and a chili that is deemed a health hazard in 26 of the 48 continental states plus Alaska. Pain is a competition and she is winning.

Damian: Arabic, Nepalese, and Chinese vegetarian dishes, entirely because that's what he wanted to learn to cook.

Duke: All-around solid cook much like Steph, good at soul food and struggle foods, also, incredible sandwiches. Like god-tier homemade subs.

The Fox family: soul food, but kinda bougie. Secret family fried chicken recipe that multiple people would be willing to kill for.

Harper Row: struggle meals. Like condiments and stale crackers turned into something incredible type of magic bs. Cullen has learned some, but Harper is Queen

Babs: jail, puts raisins in the potatoe salad, jello mold bitch. Makes a mean meatloaf, though. Still asked to bring plates and napkins to family potlucks/cookouts

[ghcstao3]

ghost’s accent being pretty neutral. says he’s from manchester but no one thinks he really sounds it.

until, that is, he’s either very drunk or under heavy anaesthesia. it’s after he’d taken a nasty hit during a mission and soap had visited him near fresh from surgery that he discovers this fun little quirk.

obviously he takes great joy in throwing ghost an “english, riley,” even though the man is far too loopy to care, and probably to remember as well. and best believe soap takes a video to remember because he knows very well that ghost will do his damnedest to deny the fact he sounds like a liam gallagher clone when he really lets loose.

[forgedbycelest]

🎪A lil continuation of sorts!🎪

Thus, started Jax's "if the gods allowed me to live one more day, I'm gonna make it everyone's problem" coping mechanism! /hj This is just a silly lil headcanon, by the way, in case that needs to be restated~

I drew a lil cameo of the other already-abstracted-folk to put a vague stamp to this period in time, which explains why Kinger here is a lil more "put together".

I just wanted to play around with the silly idea that maybe Kinger and Gangle were the first two people to ground Jax into his new normal. There's no real theory/justification behind this hc, I just love this trio so much and I noticed that a lot of Jax's frames have him between the two and thought that was pretty sweet~!

┏━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┓ The first part's here 🎪 ┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛

[hachikojesus]

Here's some more

Thnx, headcanon generator, I had a LOOOOT of fun while doing this stuff

Click for the quality