#THE BABY THAT JOHN LITERALLY CALLS 'OUR BABY'

[capfalcon]

i literally cannot get over how gay in love nasty fucking whatever goes on in private between you two is like so intense and yet i want no part of it in love john reese and harold finch are like straight off the bat

[empress-simps]

Uncle Padfoot’s Motorcycle

Pairing: Dad! Remus x Mom! Reader CW: Language and Remus who’s gonna face the wrath of his wife. Summary: Uncle Sirius takes baby Moony out for a ride on his motorcycle and you aren't happy about it.

Note: I’ve literally enjoyed writing this, and dad! Marauders literally make me hdiskskssjska ALSO THANK YOU FOR 500 FOLLOWERS YOU GUYS🫨🥹 I LOVE Y’ALL

"Sirius Orion Black and Remus John Lupin!"

Sirius could feel his soul practically leave his body as he saw you, in your ever angry form, march to where he is handing your year old daughter to Remus' awaiting arms.

This is it, this is how Sirius thinks he’s going to leave the face of the Earth.

"Erm, I have to go! See you next week yeah?" Sirius clambers onto his motorcycle, praying to any deity that he would fly faster than you hexing him with your wandless magic.

"Bye pah foo!" Lyra grins, her four teeth in clear display as Sirius looked back and waved, "See you soon, baby moony! Have to go before mummy hexes me to no end!"

Remus watched his friend blankly, deep down wishing he too was in the back of the motorcycle with Lyra so he could escape the imminent wrath his wife that was to rain down on him.

“Remus. John. Lupin.”

Each word you uttered was like a nail on his coffin. He tried his best not to wince as he heard how utterly cold and sharp you spat his name out. So, gathering up his remaining courage, he faced you with a smile- and he definitely didn’t place your squealing baby girl in front of him, making her somewhat his shield. He hoped the cuteness of Lyra would soften the blow quite a bit.

“Hi, darling! You’re back early- “

“Tell me I did just not see our one-year-old baby land in front of our house riding Sirius’ flying motorcycle or so merlin help me I will strangle you.” You warned, taking Lyra from his hands, who happily snuggled in your arms.

Well, shit.

There goes his only chance of living.

He offered a wry smile, ignoring how sweaty his hands had become. “Alrighty, I won’t tell you- “

“Remus! You seriously thought it was a good idea to let our child ride a flying motorcycle? She just turned a year-old last week for Merlin’s sake!” You scolded, poor Remus. Call him a seer because he can already see himself sleeping on the couch for the entire week, a few days if he’s lucky.

“Darling, Sirius and I made sure it was completely safe.” He tried to explain, “Lyra doesn’t even have a helmet! What were you guys thinking?!” You hugged your baby closer to your chest.

“Well, Padfoot said it’s unnecessary since they’re technically flying.” You scoffed in disbelief as you comforted Lyra who started to fuss. “Remind me to make Sirius fall next time I set his eyes on him on that darn vehicle of his.”

Remus could only let out a nervous chuckle. "Erm, I will."

“Why was Padfoot even here the first place?” You raised an eyebrow, going back inside the house to place Lyra in her playpen as Remus followed you like a servant who’s trying to regain your favor. “He also took Harry out for a ride. After that, he went here and told me Lyra should also experience it.”

You turned around and faced him, a hand on your hips. “I’m guessing Lily isn’t aware- because there is no way in her right mind that she would let her two-year-old son ride a flying motorcycle.”

His silence was the only thing you needed to hear from him.

“Where even were you when he took Lyra out for a ride?”

He blinks stupidly, “Outside, watching them.”

“You better choose your next words carefully Lupin.”

“I was supposed to ride with them, darling! But Sirius already took off when I was about to get onto the motorcycle!” He explains, hoping it’ll be enough to save him as he recalled the events from earlier.

“Pah foo!” Lyra grinned as she clapped her hands excitedly, her sandy brown hair that was tied in pigtails was swaying with every move she made. Sirius returned her excitement, bypassing Remus who answered the door and made a beeline to the squealing baby.

“There’s my baby Moony!” He lifts Lyra up from her playpen and peppers her face with kisses while Remus smiled, rolling his eyes playfully. “I’m starting to think you’re just visiting so you can hang out with my daughter, Padfoot.”

Sirius turned to look at him, smiling playfully as Lyra tugged on his curls. “I’m afraid so, Moony.” He then turned his attention to the child. “Now, who wants to go on an adventure with uncle Padfoot?”

Sirius’s eyes twinkled with mischief as he held Lyra aloft, her giggles filling the room. “We’ll soar over the treetops, chase the clouds, and maybe even race a few owls, eh?” He bounced her gently, eliciting more delighted squeals.

Remus watched them, a fond smile on his face, thinking that his best mate wouldn’t seriously do it. “Just make sure you keep her within sight, Padfoot. No loops or dives,” he added with a mock sternness that fooled neither Sirius nor Lyra.

Sirius mock saluted. “Aye, aye, Captain Moony!” He turned to Lyra, whispering conspiratorially, “Your dad’s just worried we’ll have too much fun without him.”

Remus didn’t even know how it happened, he just suddenly became aware of the situation when Sirius and Lyra were off, the flying motorcycle roaring to life as they took to the skies, leaving a trail of laughter, the faint smell of engine oil in their wake, and a faint ‘I fly, dada!’ from Lyra.

You sighed, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts. “At least Lyra’s safe, I know Sirius wouldn’t endanger his god daughter.”

You watched as Remus’s eyes softened; the worry lines smoothed out from his forehead. “Yes, Lyra is safe, and Sirius might be reckless, but he’s also fiercely protective,” he agreed, his voice carrying a note of gratitude. You hummed in agreement.

Remus tested the waters, “So… I won’t be sleeping in the couch, right?”

You couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle, the tension from earlier dissipating like morning fog in the sunlight. “No, Remmy, you won’t be sleeping on the couch,” you said, your voice laced with a hint of amusement. “But let’s agree that any future flights require both parents’ approval, alright?”

Remus let out a sigh of relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing. “Agreed, and I promise, no more surprises,” he said earnestly, reaching out to take your hand.

Just then, Lyra’s babbling caught your attention, and you both turned to see her playing with a small, plush fox, looking eerily similar to your animagus form that Sirius must have sneaked into her playpen.

“Maybe we can’t protect her from everything, but we can make sure she knows she’s loved and safe,” you mused aloud, watching Lyra.

Remus nodded, his eyes reflecting the same sentiment. “That’s all we can do,” he agreed. “And maybe teach her a few tricks so she can outfly Sirius one day,” he added with a wink.

You glared at him playfully, then laughed, imagining a future where Lyra, with her inherited Marauder’s cunning, would indeed give Sirius a run for his money. “Now that’s a plan I can get behind,” you said with a smile.

As the night drew on, the house filled with the soft sounds of a family at peace. The day’s adventures were recounted with laughter and gentle teasing, and plans for a grounded tomorrow were made. And in that moment, all was well in the world of magic and mischief.

[rafeandonlyrafe]

the pogues and the princess

words: 1.8k

warnings: drinking, partying, throwing up, protective!rafe, threats of violence, established relationship

“oh come on, don’t be so grumpy.” you poke at rafes cheek, his face downturned in a scowl.

“you know i don’t like you at these type of parties.” rafe sighs, slapping your hand away from his face as he concentrates on the road in front of him, wishing for once that he doesn’t get to his destination faster, wanting to keep you there with him.

“babe, i’d hardly call it a party. its just gonna be me, sarah and kiara… and a couple other people.” “yeah, the fucking pogues.” rafe grunts. “you know how i feel about you hanging out with them.” “oh please, i don’t even talk to jj or john b. i just miss my girls.” you pout. you got super close with sarah when you started dating rafe, which naturally led you to get close to kiara as well as sarahs other new friends.

“yeah, alright.” rafe grunts. you may not talk to the boys, but that doesn’t stop them from trying to talk to you.

“i’ll call you when i need you to pick me up.” you unbuckle as rafe turns down the driveway, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. “i love you.”

“i know.” rafe sighs dramatically, hating that you’re leaving him, but not wanting to hold you back from seeing your friends, especially when you so rarely ask him. “i love you too.”

you wait as rafe gets out, opening your door and helping you down from his truck. he looks over your outfit again, glad that you’re very covered as he walks you towards the house, music already able to be heard pumping out of speakers.

“baby, this is not a little party.” rafe looks around, realizing theres a good amount of people crowded around the various seating areas.

“do you wanna stay?” you ask. rafe struggles, but ultimately shakes his head no. he knows if he stays that he would just end up getting pissed off at one of the pogues, and he values you too much to beat one of them up in front of you.

“mmkay, well i see kie.” you turn towards rafe. “i’ll call you in a bit. probably around 1 am if thats alright.” “yeah, i’m definitely not gonna be able to sleep until i get you back home.” rafe grunts. he’s in no danger of missing your call, there’s no way he will be able to relax until you’re back safe in his arms.

“bye baby.” you get on your tiptoes to press a kiss to rafes lips. “love you.”

“love you more.” rafe watches you walk away, literally skipping as you reach kiara, throwing your arms around her in a hug. rafe doesn’t see his sister, but he knows she can’t be far away.

“hey, pogues.” rafe walks up to a picnic table, jj smoking a blunt while pope and john b both hold a bottle of beer. 

“rafe, don’t start shit-” jj begins, but he’s quickly cut off by rafe. 

“shut the fuck up. i need you to watch y/n. if she gets hurt, i will fucking end all of you, understood?” rafe waits for all three of the boys to nod.

“im serious. i will fucking kill you. let her have fun with sarah and kiara, but don’t let her drink too much, and if any guy tries to talk to her or dance with her…” rafe trails off, but they get the point.

“she’s our friend too.” pope finally pipes up. “of course we will keep an eye on her.” “good.” rafe grunts, not saying another word before stomping away, back towards his truck.

--

“where is my kie kie?” your words slur as you stumble into the house, looking for your friend. “kiara!” you shout. “you never brought me back another drink you bitch!”

“hey, hey there.” jj suddenly grabs your shoulders, making you blink rapidly to get his face into focus. “maybe you don’t need another drink.”

“maybe you don’t need another drink.” you argue back, trying to wiggle out of jjs grasp. “i want a uh…” you look at the selection of bottles on the table. “shot of vodka!” jj knows you must be really drunk if you’re willing to take the shot, knowing how much you don’t like the taste of alcohol until you’re really far gone, always having to mix it with something fruity to get it down.

“okay, let me get it for you.” jj grabs a shot glass, keeping one eye on you as he shields what hes doing with his body, grabbing the vodka like hes going to pour it, but actually filling the cup with water instead.

“here you go.” he turns around with a smile.

“thanks!” you take the glass, knocking it back. “you know, rafe would not like you getting drinks for me.”

“hey, its all friendly.” jj smiles, patting your shoulder as you walk away to find kiara, yelling out again. he doesn’t see that you swipe a bottle from the table.

--

“i feel sick.” you shout at sarah, hands linked together. despite your words, you continue to dance, your stomach churning but there’s too much alcohol in you to care.

“i think if we drink more itll help!” sarah says, meaning to pull you towards the house, but you both stumble on the grass and end up falling on the ground, not feeling any pain as you burst out laughing.

“oh my god, we are sooo drunk.” you giggle, feeling a lot better now that you’re laying down, so you don’t make any effort to move, despite the stick poking your back.

“i know.” sarah pouts, before suddenly yelling. “john b!” it takes a minute for john b to make his way over, and when he finally does, he stands looking down at the two of you, hands on his hips.

“i think you girls may have had enough.” “sarah.” you turn to her. “i hate your boyfriend.” “me too, he’s trying to cut us off.” sarah rolls his eyes before reaching up, making grabby hands at john b, who sighs and helps bring her to her feet.

“come on.” john b tries to help you up next, but you frown, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by emotions.

“i don’t want you, i want my boyfriend!” you cry out, tears suddenly streaming down your face, leaving marks in your makeup.

“oh shit!” john b groans. “don’t cry! come on! lets call rafe.”

you finally accept john bs help up, tears drying up quickly when you see kiara, squealing as you rush away from the couple to link arms with her.

--

“shit, we gotta call rafe.” pope says, looking at you with concern on his face before glancing at his phone, the time ticking past 2 am. 

“we should just take her home.” jj says. “i don’t have his number.”

“we can ask sarah…” pope looks around, before quickly realizing that sarah and john b disappeared together a while ago, and he’s not wanting to find them and break up whatever they’re doing for the sake of his innocent eyes.

“ill just ask y/n.” jj sighs, pope tagging along as he makes his way over to you, the last one dancing to the music, from the only speaker still playing.

“hey, y/n.” pope says softly, but you don’t seem to hear him as you continue to bounce around, hair long pulled out of the ponytail you arrived in, dress swishing as you move.

“y/n!” jj shouts louder, making you suddenly stop.

“what is it?” you blink rapidly, tears forming in your eyes from jjs shouting. “are you mad at me? is rafe mad at me?” “no, we just wanna take you home. its really late.” jj places a cautious hand on your back, guiding you away from the speaker.

“‘m not tired though.” you look to pope, hoping he would agree with you, but he shakes his head. no help there.

“how about we call rafe then, yeah? i think he’d beat our ass if either of us took you home.” “no he wouldn’t.” you shake your head. “my boyfriend is cute and perfect and nice and he wouldn’t do that.” 

“alright, whatever you say.” pope rolls his eyes. he’s not willing to argue about the past, especially when he knows you’re way too drunk to even realize what you’re saying.

“ill call him.” you pull your phone out, frowning at the screen before your passcode suddenly comes back to you. rafes birthday.

you manage to navigate to his contact before the phone suddenly falls from your hands, thankfully landing on the soft grass. you barely turn away from pope and jj before you throw up, bending over as you spew. 

pope moves quickly to hold up your hair, while jj picks up the phone, thankfully still open.

he presses the call button while watching pope comfort you as you begin to cry, sniffling out a mixture of words about how you hate throwing up and want your boyfriend.

“baby?” rafe answers, his voice soft but clearly tired and slightly on edge.

“uh… no.” jj answers awkwardly. “she’s ready to be picked up though she’s uhh… pretty drunk.”

“i’ll be there in five minutes.” rafe puts the truck into drive. he would never admit it, but he’s been just down the block the entire time, not wanting to go too far in case he needed to quickly get to you. “give her the phone.”

“yeah, alright.” jj hands it over to you. “its your boyfriend.”

“oh my god, rafe!” you shout into the phone, making him pull it away from his ear at your loud volume. 

“hi baby, i’m coming right now to pick you up, okay?” “i love you so much.” you sob out. “i miss you, i miss you. i hate partying without you.”

“how much did you have to drink?” rafe asks.

“she snuck a bit more when i turned my back for one second rafe.” jj adds in, leaning closer to the phone to speak. “we really did keep an eye on her.”

“yeah.” pope chimes in. “one guy tried to dance with her but i stopped him.”

“wait, really?” you question. you hadn’t even noticed, or maybe just didn’t remember.

rafe doesn’t know what to say. he’s certainly not going to thank the pogues, but he’s grateful you’re safe as he turns down the driveway, headlights illuminating the three of you standing in the yard, the only ones still around as he throws his truck into park.

“yay!” you squeal, running over to rafe and literally jumping into his arms, making him stumble back as he holds you against him.

“hi baby, did you have fun?” rafe asks, rubbing his hand over your back as the other keeps you from falling. “i did but i drank too much and got sick and then starting crying because i missed you.” you explain quickly, all negative emotions gone now that you’ve got him back.

“should i get you home then?” rafe asks, glad when you nod enthusiastically, tucking your face into his neck.

rafe looks to pope and jj, nodding awkwardly at them. its the best thank you they’re going to get as he loads you into the passenger side of his truck.

taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @die4niyahhh

[babydollmarauders]

COUSIN — MEDIA MANAGEMENT: BONUS EDITION

au masterlist

y/ndevils00

liked by jackhughes, lhughes_06, and 579,824 others

y/ndevils00 hi, people are more than a little confused and beginning to get suspicious and i’ve even seen a few baseless rumors about me floating around, so i’d like to clear the air;

to most people, this is ✨Sidney Crosby✨, the 1st overall pick of the 2005 draft, and captain of the Pittsburgh Penguins.

to me, this is my older cousin, Sid (or Father Sid, as i like to call him, but he says that makes him feel old… as it should, because he is.)

i haven’t been extremely open about my relation to Sid, particularly because: do you know how many embarrassing stories this man has to tell about me? but also because i’ve never wanted people to look at me any differently. i’m just y/n, and to me, this is just Sid.

but i’m about to get a little mushy. for as long as i can remember, Sidney has been my rock, my best friend, and my protector. a little fun fact for you guys, i moved in with Sidney when i was 14. sick of life in Cole Harbour, and missing my Sid, i attended high school in Pittsburgh. i did homework at Pens practices, i played high stakes games of old maid with Geno, and i got grounded by Sid for sneaking out (and usually got ungrounded by the next day because… who can stay mad at THIS face?). Sid was the first person i told about thinking of going into social media management in the NHL, and he was also the one who told me to go after my dreams and never let anyone tell me i couldn’t.

when i was born, Sidney, at 14, immediately took his role as big cousin a step further. in his eyes, i wasn’t just his little cousin, but a second sister. and 22 years later, he says i’m the reason for his gray hairs (you’re welcome!). i couldn’t have asked for a better cousin, big brother, and father figure all wrapped up in one.

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user66 JACK HUGHES IS DATING SIDNEY CROSBY’S COUSIN?!

jackhughes you were the cutest child, and i’m so glad you love Sidney. but it’s still a bit weird walking through our apartment and having his grad picture hanging up in the hallway

y/ndevils00 that sounds like a you problem <3

jackhughes i’m taking it down

y/ndevils00 YOU WILL NOT!

jackhughes you’re not here! you can’t stop me!

user27 AWWW LITTLE Y/N WITH COUSIN SID 🥹

user83 i thought she couldn’t skate?

y/ndevils00 i can’t, that’s why Sid is picking me up 🥲 that was the first, last, and only ‘skating with sid’ i ever did— he gave up on me pretty quickly

jackhughes i can’t say i blame him

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes aren’t you supposed to love me unconditionally?

jackhughes not yet, we aren’t married

y/ndevils00 @/jackhughes and who’s fault is that?

trevorzegras i’m never forgiving you

y/ndevils00 oh god, what did i do?

trevorzegras YOU TOLD HIM TO PUSH ME

y/ndevils00 i did not! you’re spreading lies on my name 🤧

trevorzegras HE LITERALLY PUSHED ME AND SAID “Y/N SAID TO DO THAT”

y/ndevils00 well he’s old and senile and didn’t know what he was talking about

john.marino97 i’m telling him you said that

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 tell him. i’m not scared of him!

y/ndevils00 @/john.marino97 YOU ACTUALLY TOLD HIM?! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS?! I’M PRETTY SURE HE JUST GROUNDED ME?? AND IDK HOW BUT I KNOW HE’LL FIND A WAY TO SEE IT THROUGH

user15 y/n getting getting grounded by Sid even at 22 and no longer living with him is so… 😭😭

jackhughes i’ve been recruited. give John your phone for the next 24 hours

y/ndevils00 NO!

jackhughes okay, then iceberg goes in the microwave

y/ndevils00 NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT! HE’S A PENGUIN, HE HAS TO BE COLD! DON’T MAKE HIM GO THROUGH GLOBAL WARMING

jackhughes he’s a stuffed penguin…

y/ndevils00 can you just give me 20 more minutes? 🥺

jackhughes 20 minutes and then you hand it over

user07 “my sid” oh look i’m crying 🥹

ryangraves27 Crosby told me to tell you to give John your phone?

y/ndevils00 RYAN!! MY SWEET VAMPIRE BABY!! I’VE MISSED YOU!!

ryangraves27 1) i’m older than you. 2) i’m still not a vampire. 3) we text every week and you saw me tonight after the game.

y/ndevils00 aww you’re still just as stoic and bland as a piece of white bread 🫶🥹

ryangraves27 just give John your phone, please. i’m begging now.

y/ndevils00 aww even your begging is boring!

user64 but… does that mean her last name is Crosby?

y/ndevils00 indeed! y/n Crosby! can you believe Jack never caught onto the fact that i’m related to Sid until i TOLD him AFTER we started dating?

jackhughes HEY! i wasn’t gonna assume! Crosby isn’t a super uncommon last name! and i’m not the only one because nobody else on the team has just assumed you’re related to him either!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 ah, yes, Dawson fainted when he found out!

dawson1417 I DIDN’T FAINT! I TOOK A NAP!

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 whatever you have to tell yourself in order to keep your dignity <3

dawson1417 YOU TEXTED AND TOLD ME RIGHT BEFORE MY PRE-GAME NAP BEFORE MY FIRST GAME AGAINST THE PENS??

y/ndevils00 @/dawson1417 and then in your 8th game against them, you got your first hatty!! and i was so proud!!

user90 HUGHES X CROSBY COUPLE— WE ALL KNEW JACK AND Y/N WERE A HOT AND POWERFUL COUPLE BUT OH MY GOD

e.malkin71geno Miss you little one always

y/ndevils00 i’m always missing you, uncle G!! and missing Nikita even more!!

e.malkin71geno Crosby say give your phone to Marino

y/ndevils00 well you can tell Sid i said he’s not the boss of me anymore!

e.malkin71geno try me, kid - Sidney

y/ndevils00 shit, no, nevermind

user39 NOT Y/N GETTING CROSBY TO USE SOCIAL MEDIA ON GENO’S PHONE IN ORDER TO THREATEN HER

lhughes_06 still kinda bizarre tbh. how did Sidney Crosby have a hand in raising your wild ass

y/ndevils00 his routines are what made me this way!

_quinnhughes how?

y/ndevils00 @/_quinnhughes they’re how i learned that i prefer chaos and fun <3

edwards.73 YOU’RE A CROSBY?!

y/ndevils00 yes??

edwards.73 SO A CROSBY IS SCARED OF ADAM FANTILLI?!

y/ndevils00 DON’T SAY HIS NAME, YOU’LL SUMMON HIM

adamfantilli i promise i’m nice! you met me this summer, you know i am!

y/ndevils00 LUCA SAID YOU BITE

jackhughes so do you? constantly.

john.marino97 Sid introducing me to you 4 years ago is both a blessing and a curse ♥️

y/ndevils00 AWWWW THAT’S SO SWEET

john.marino97 now give me your phone

y/ndevils00 see you guys on saturday 😪 guess i’m going on a 24hour phone detox

user74 BYE! I’LL MISS YOU TOMORROW!!

john.marino97 and i won’t! finally, silence on my instagram!

[berzahoes]

i love you | johnny knoxville

summary: just some moments with johnny and the reader

an: yes i’m watching jackass 🫶🏼

PARTY BOY

johnny was busy taking a shower while you did your skin care routine. the jackass crew had made it to the uk and everyone was tired. you were more annoyed than tired, it seemed like every little thing annoyed you from waiting too long for the elevator to johnny’s snoring on the plane.

“did you call your mom? she wanted you to call when we land,” johnny said as he washed his body. he got no response so he slightly moved the curtain so he could look at you. “did you hear me?”

you hummed and continued washing your face. “yeah, call my mom although i’m pretty sure she won’t pick up since, you know, time zones.”

“are you going to be mad at me during the whole trip? i said sorry.”

you rolled your eyes and continued washing your face. while checking in, the receptionist of the hotel had said some flirty comments to johnny right in front of you and what did johnny do? he laughed it off then later when you were unpacking a little, he explained that he laughed because he was he didn’t know how to respond.

“come on, i know i was an asshole-” he saw the side eye you gave him. “i am an asshole, but this asshole loves you and you’re not getting rid you me that easily. you’re stuck with me, baby.”

“you’re still an asshole.” you mumble, grabbing a towel to dry your face.

then someone had knocked on the door, you still didn’t move from your spot, which johnny noticed. “you’re not getting the door, are you?”

“you’re so smart, philip.” you replied. through the mirror, you saw him sigh and carefully got out of the shower. you were being nice so you handed him a small towel.

“who is it?” johnny asked as he opened the door then saw that it was chris and tried to close the door.

“it’s party boy!” chris forced his way into the bathroom where he saw you in your sweat pants and bralette. “let’s party!” he danced around you then got into the shower with johnny, who couldn’t stop laughing.

“why did i open the door?” johnny laughed.

you joined their laughter as you saw the camera crew enter as well. “i’m not even tired anymore.” you watched as chris danced in the shower. after a while, you forgot you were even mad.

SILVER FOXVILLE

the filming of ‘jackass forever’ had to stop due to a virus so everyone had to stay home. you liked it since you could finally spend more time with johnny. you two did many things to get rid of your boredom like puzzles, bake, watch movies, sleep, swim in your pool and even more sleep.

during quarantine, johnny had decided to stop dyeing his hair. you didn’t think much of it since at some point everyone starts going gray, but once you saw johnny with his silver hair, you couldn’t keep your hands off of it.

when filming for the movie resumed, johnny was now sporting a full gray hair look and you loved it. in the mornings, you would run your hands through his hair, compliment him, play with it. he just looked even better.

when you and johnny arrived to the jackass forever set, all eyes were on him. jeff immediately let out the loudest laugh when he saw johnny.

“who are you and what have you done with knoxville?” jeff chuckled then he turned to you. “you’re dating an old man.“

“jeff, i can literally see your grays from here.”

GQ COUPLES QUIZ

“hi everyone! we are here to take the couple’s quiz.” you smiled. you and johnny were sat across from each other with flash cards in your hands with questions written on them. after many years of knowing, dating and marriage, you seemed pretty confident.

“okay, we actually did a game of rock, paper, scissors and johnny won so he goes first.” you explained.

“sorry sweetheart, you suck at that game, but i love you. okay, what is my middle name? we’re starting off easy.” johnny said.

without thinking, you immediately answer. “john. if i say your full name, do i get bonus points?”

“we can make up our own rules. i’ll give ‘em to you. but only because i love you.”

“love you too, philip john clapp.”

“next question, you watch snl right? have i ever hosted saturday night live?” johnny asked.

“no?” you weren’t sure if johnny was even allowed to be on snl, you were convinced all the jackass guys were banned.

“you’re breaking my heart, babe. you were there! system of a down performed and you watched them perform.” johnny scoffed.

“no, i remember system of a down but i don’t remember you hosting if i’m being honest. congratulations, i guess.” you laughed as johnny rolled his eyes.

“i really hope you get the next questions right. what was my number in the royal rumble match? again, you were there.”

“easy, number nine,” you confidently said. “nine is my lucky number.”

“really? mines sixty nine.”

[thewritersaddictions]

Drabble: Call Of Duty- Body Talk

How might they react to finding out you don't like a part of your body?

John Price Bravo

"Do you think I'm pretty anymore?" You ask your husband of ten years. Price nearly scoffs at you, but when he looks up through your standing mirror, the look on your gives it all away. He can see the sadness behind your eyes and how you look at yourself with disgust in the mirror. "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, love." He says, standing up to around the bedroom and standing behind you.

There's a bit more pudgness on your thighs, tummy, and even your arms, but you forget you've had two kids, and that comes with it. It also happens with simply aging. "But I don't feel pretty anymore, John. I feel disgusting, and I hate the way my body has become, and no amount of working out or eating right seems to fix it." Your voice is cracking, and Price knows the tears are coming. "Love, you're beautiful. Every day I look at you and wonder how the fuck I managed to be so damn lucky. I don't care about anything other than loving you and our kids." He says it, and he means it with all of his heart.

You let go of a large, heavy sigh. He wraps his arms around you. Your skin is cold in contrast to his warm hands and arms. "Anyways, it gives me more to hold to when I'm makin' love to you, baby," he says with a kiss on your cheek. You giggle finally, the happy noise filtering through the room. "You come here, and let me show you how much I love your body for you?" Price asks, looking at you through the mirror. You'll never be able to deny him.

Simon Riley Ghost

You never break, not in front of your teammates. Never show your true feelings until you are behind closed doors. This time, it had just been too much. In the field, you had been trying to get a family out of Hassan's territory. They had nothing to do with the bullshit going on. Your heart broke when the little girl walked out without her parents or siblings. You had picked her up in a fell swoop and taken her with you. You aren't sure how the hell she managed to escape the fire and collapsing house with nothing less than a mark on her face. She had held onto you for the entire ride back, and it wasn't until you got back to the hideout that you had to give her off to the medic.

Ghost had been watching you the entire time. Your sniffes didn't go unheard by him, so he watched longer. How you nearly ran off to bunks when you had to give the poor girl off to the medic. That's where he found you, in the bunk room, crying your heart out. The knock was not heard, and neither were his footsteps. "Athena," Your sniffles stopped, "yeah, how's the girl?" You ask, "That girl is fine, but how are you?" He asked. The worry was in his voice, and it was directed towards you. "I'm okay." You say, stuffing your emotions back in your chest. "You don't seem like it, love. You seem like you're falling apart." He countered. "I'm just, there's only so much I can do, but the weight is sometimes too much to bear. That girl has no family now. None at all because we… I wasn't able to get there in time." You say your hands on your head.

The silence is hard to tell, but then Ghost speaks. "Here's what you don't know: that girl is alive. Yes, she might not have parents, and she'll go into foster care, but she's alive. All because you grabbed her and pulled her from the fire. That counts for something, Athena." Ghost said as he sat down next to you. "you're allowed to break down; this is a physically and mentally-wearing job, so I'm offering you something. A shoulder to lean on. To cry on, to laugh on, to forget on. Whatever you need." "Thank you, Ghost." You say, "Call me Simon, now let's go check up on that kid, yeah?" He says, reaching out his gloved hand to take

John McTavish Soap

You had literally searched all over the internet about how to get rid of pregnancy stretch marks. The marks at the bottom of your belly where killing you to look at. Not the mention all the other shit you were now dealing with after your pregnancy. The milk pump sometimes worked, and other times it just didn't, which caused you significant discomfort, and then the massive fucking put-together pad you had to wear for the next two weeks. You just felt disgusting, so this added thing was just not needed.

The knock on the bathroom door made you shriek. "Shit, love, I didn't mean to scare you. Just wanted to tell you that baby girl is down." Johnny says as he enters the bathroom. Your hair is wet, and you only wear a pair of panties and a sports bra. Staring at yourself in the mirror. "Love, where are you at right?" The concern is clear in his words. "You can't help but crumble at your husband's soft Scottish accent. "I'm not… my body…" "What about your body?" He asks, obviously worried about you. "I don't like it anymore." His brows furrow together. "What do you mean?" "I'm ugly now, and these fucking stretch marks, and let's not add the other shit on top of it." "Hang on a minute now, sweetness." He says, moving to look in the mirror with you but you look away.

"You grew a whole human being in your body for the last nine months. You grew a fuckin' life. You are the most wonderful thing that happened to me, along with baby girl. I know you're not liking your body right now, but I'm telling you right now, you're still just as beautiful as you were the day I met you as you are now." "But…" "But nothing. You are the mother to our daughter, and I won't have you thinking poorly of yourself." Johnny smiles as he takes your hands together and rubs your ring with his thumb. "Together?" He asks, "Together," You responded.

Köing

"Fuck Liebling, you might be the death of me," Köing says as he shifts on the bed, making room for you to lie down next to him. You were up, grabbing two glasses of water for the both of you. Padding around in a pair of Köings boxers from the drawers and his t-shirt. Nothing was more a beautiful site than you right now in front of him. "Here you go." You stand, handing the glass of water off to him. The afterglow of sex sticking to your body still. He takes it graciously from your hand and rests it on his side table before pulling back the covers and waiting for your return to the bed.

It's hours later; while he's rubbing random shapes into your thighs, he feels something. At first, it doesn't concern him, but then he realizes what they are. Straight-cut lines work themselves up your thigh. How he had never noticed before blew his mind and the thoughts of what the small lines meant. You aren't asleep. Instead, you are catching up on your most recently purchased book. Köing couldn't help himself. "what are these?" He asks. "What is love?" You request not understanding where this line of questioning is going. "These marks on your leg. I can feel them." He says, rubbing gently.

You aren't shy about it. You've had them for years. You ensured they weren't in a spot where someone like your parents could see them. So your thigh was the best place. You bookmark your book before setting it down and pulling the covers off your legs. Köing moves his hand, and you start to explain. "I had really, like, horrible depression when I was a teenager. My family didn't really believe in medication or anything like that, so I didn't know what else to do. Sounds shitty now that I say it out loud since it was so long ago. But that was self-harm because I had no other outlet." You tell Köing, who's eagerly listening to you. "And you haven't done it since?" His words hold concern. "Don't worry about me, baby; I've got my meds, therapist, and you. I'm all good now." You say, trying to push away the sad thoughts that are trailing through your boyfriend's head.

"Don't worry, Schatz, I'll fuck the depression right out of you the next time. No need to cut up this beautiful skin." Köing words make you laugh.

Completed on: 11/16/23

Posted on: 11/20/23

COD-

[ladymarycrawley]

Like father, like daughter - John Stones

Not requested but I've been woking on this piece for a while so there you go 💕 and dad! John is a weakness of mine so yeah (and it's quite long). Feel like dedicating this to queen herself @footballffbarbiex 🤍

Warning: pregnancy

Tag list: @prideofpd, @johnstonesfc, @chelsealover, @masonxomount, @kathb59 (cause she was eager to read it)

Pregnancy is seen in the collective consciousness as a blessed time, where a new life is growing inside of a woman’s body and everything seems good but most people only see the pleasurable side of it, ignoring all the cons these nine long months carry with them.

Of course there’s physical pain (back pain, swollen feet, morning sickness just to mention a few), that’s something concrete everybody can see. What’s more painful it’s the hidden part of this journey, the one that takes place in women’s head: embarking on such a massive change might be scary and sometimes fear overlaps with the joy of welcoming a new human being, overcoming it most of the time.

The most common worry is about not being ready enough to become a parent (as it’s the hardest job a person can do) followed by the difficulty of giving birth: how is it going to be? What will I do if something wrong happens? Will it be as painful as they make it seem in films? 

All of this has an impact on mental health and stability, as all these fears may take a toll on a person’s mind and rely on the most disparate stimuli to give life to the most random scenarios…

"John I'm so scared"

"Of what?"

"There's people who like pregnant women but not in a good sense…"

"In what sense?"

"Like they find them hot and have a fetish for them, that's scary"

That what can be defined as one of the random scenarios mentioned above: that afternoon you were aimlessly scrolling through your phone to stumble upon an article about the most unusual fetishes and you happened to read about people who had the pregnancy kink.

"So what?"

"That's gross and what if these people steal my pics and do vile things with them?"

Your head started spiralling in panic as your hormones and your unstable state of mind was totally controlling you. Too many thoughts in that overworking brain of yours culminated in desperate tears rolling down your face. 

"Your pics are safe and you look so sexy"

"I don't, this thing is insanely big and…and the other day you called me whale" You confessed to him as sobs were making you shake.

"Affectionately though, I'd never call you a whale to insult you…" He wrapped his arms around your waist "You're the sexiest, most beautiful whale ever" John whispered with a husky voice right into your neck

"You're fake, you're just mean"

"I'm not mean!"

The sobs were getting harder and your boyfriend knew the breakdown was getting serious.

"You'll leave me for some beautiful, hotter woman that'll give you no problems and you'll be cheating on me and I'll end up as a single mother and -"

"Hold on, hold on. Calm down and take a deep breath" John tried to calm you, stressing those encouraging words and trying to take deep breaths with you as to show you the priorities you should have considered. 

"You're overthinking"

"What if something goes wrong? What if the birth doesn't go as planned? What if our baby -"

"Calm down"

"I've read a lot of stories of mums that had horrible experiences while giving birth to their babies and what if one of us dies?"

John blurted out his eyes in shock as fear and worry covered his perfect face as well.

"Don't even think about it. We're following literally what the doctor told us, I'm sure they'll do whatever it's in their power for your safety"

Your baby kicked in that moment, as if your worry suddenly became her own and she felt the urge to calm you down, coming to the aid of her dad.

You gulped and brought your hand to your belly as John’s eyes never lost sight of you.

He’d never lost sight of you, not even when you went through labour and you were holding his hand so tightly while following the midwife’s instructions, trying to coordinate your pushes with the deep breaths she was asking you to take.

You were trying not to think about all the fears that piled up during those months but it was so hard when all the contractions trampled over you so violently. He stayed there even when you were squeezing his hand so hard your nails dug into his skin, almost piercing it. 

He was the antidote to all your nightmares: someone who stayed there with you, holding your hand through thick and thin.

John only left at nightfall and only after you insisted for him to go back home to sleep on a proper bed.

You were feeling like a done and dusted whale, all bloated and tired while he was there looking so fine, surely fresh out of the shower as the unmistakable scent of his aftershave tickled your nostrils.

The sight of him entering what had been your room for the last two days made your heart swell and the butterflies in your stomach soar.

The tiredness painted across your face as well as your swollen eyes made your freshly woken up expression evident and John couldn’t help but smile as your tired smile welcomed him.

"Hi"

"Good morning"

He closed the door behind him, approaching your bed and looking at the small crib where your tiny baby girl was sleeping.

"How are you? Did you get some sleep?"

"Yep…slept a couple more hours"

"Good" He muttered while pressing his lips to your forehead.

"And how is she?"

Both your glances fell on the product of your love that was so small she could easily fit in one of John's large hands and looked so cute in her blush pink bodysuit, stretching her little legs as she was probably busy dreaming something. 

"She seems fine, we can't wait to go back home"

"I know…they said you would be good to go today"

"Yeah but they want to check in on us for a final check and then we can go"

"Okay" John was a bit disappointed he couldn't take his ladies with him and leave the hospital right away so he reluctantly nodded and got up to take you something to eat for breakfast. 

"I want a giant chocolate croissant"

"And a giant cappuccino as well?" He asked with a smirk, knowing full well your taste when it came to what to have for the most important meal of the day.

"You know me so well" You exclaimed, happy with those small things that weren't small at all in your eyes; they meant the world to you as him and your baby were now your whole world too.

John smiled, a blush pink tint colouring his cheeks and lowered himself over your seated figure, balancing himself on the mattress with his hands, his lips busy pressing a kiss on your forehead.

"See? Everything went well, you're both doing great" He whispered, referring to your fear of something potentially going wrong during the birth, your biggest fear.

You smiled back at him, watery eyes full of weariness and emotions looked up at him as you moved your head to the side to press a tender kiss to his hand that was soothingly caressing your cheek.

“I love you so much. Both of you”

“I love you more”

That sweet moment was interrupted by a nurse who knocked on your room’s door to check in on you and Iris, as it was time for the last visit before discharging you officially.

John waited outside for it to be over, using that time to buy you the delicious breakfast you have been longing for.

He really hoped they could give you the green light to go back home because that would have meant everything was okay and you were perfectly healthy. So he prayed to hear the good news he was waiting for, to see your baby in that white wooden cot you spent a whole day choosing at the store, paired with that flowery pink bedding set his sister gave you as a gift and that had you crying as soon as you opened the box.

After fifteen minutes or so the nurse opened the door followed by the medical staff who welcomed your boyfriend with a smile, the doctor holding your file in her hands. She complimented John on your newborn and told him what he was dying to hear: you and Iris’s health status was good and you were ready to leave the hospital.

He thanked her and nodded when she gave him some quick advice on how to take care of them during the delicate moments following the baby’s birth.

After saying their goodbyes quickly John rushed back to your room with a big grin plastered on his lips.

"We're going home babies" He cooed, taking the duffle bag with all your personal belongings.

“Not so fast, Stonesy” You chuckled “Help me get out of this bed so we can get ready”

The City player giggled and helped you step out of the bed so you could stand up properly. The standing posture made you feel pain in places in didn't even know they existed and the grimace on your face told it all.

“I’ll take the baby and all her things while you put all your stuff in here” He said, directing his tall body towards the crib where his princess was looking at him with her blue eyes. “Yes baby, you’ll come with dada” 

The moment you dreamt of a lot, that is to say John making his silly little voice to speak to your daughter, finally happened and it brought genuine tears to your eyes: funny how a small, tiny creature that you met for the first time no more than 72 hours earlier, that shared every single second of the last nine months of your life with you suddenly became the most important, priceless treasure you ever put your hands on. 

You thought there were some feelings it was impossible to give form to and love was one of them, but you had to change your mind the moment you took her in your arms because you  realised the human being you were holding was the embodiment of all the love you had for her dad. So some feelings, even the strongest one, had a shape and it was astonishingly beautiful.

“Oh I see you’re already taking the baby and leaving me with the heavy things” You mumbled, feigning being angry at him.

“You had her with you for 9 months, don’t be selfish”

“Me selfish?? Oh I’d have really liked you to carry her in your belly for 9 f-”

“Oi don’t swear in front of the baby”

You laughed seeing him all concerned and covering Iris’ ears as he was glaring at you. You shook your head as you slowly started to collect all your things around the hospital room.

“Give me my breakfast, I’m starving”

“See? Your mum has already changed and uses me as her butler and credit card”

His joke caused you to roll your eyes as you were trying to get dressed while dealing with your yet aching body.

You were in some baggy pants and an oversized hoodie because it was the only outfit you were feeling like wearing as John was there looking as flawless as usual even though his fit was quite simple: a pair of jeans matched with a gray jumper and a baseball cap on made him look hotter than usual. The child seat he was carrying with your baby girl in was making him even look like a real hot daddy and your heart was bursting with love. The right word to describe how you were feeling was blessed.

When you finally stepped foot in your house you sighed in satisfaction as you just wanted to get in your bed and cuddle with your new family in peace, eating some good junk food if possible.

“Home sweet home”

John smirked and carefully put the child seat on the floor so he could take Iris out of it.

“Welcome home, baby” He lifted her up to place her against his shoulder so her head could rest against it, as they showed him in the hospital. “This is your home”

“I’ve missed it so much…I think I’m going to lay down for a while”

Lying down on your own bed, on the bed sheets you chose, in the room you shared with the man of your life gave you that much needed home feeling.

You closed your eyes in the attempt to relax but the level of weariness, of emotions you had experienced recently didn’t make it any easier for you to sleep a little.

"Ok so I'm gonna go"

"I don't wanna see anyone" You mumbled when John finally entered your room, cradling Iris in his arms. When he looked down at her to see she was asleep, he put her in the wooden cot right next to your bed.

He couldn’t help but smile: that sight was the closest to perfection he had ever seen, as that piece of furniture that had been empty for all those past weeks was now full as it should have been, hosting the most important treasure ever.

"Not you, idiot. I just wanna see you and our baby" You grumbled as your voice came out feebly due to your state of tiredness.

John smiled and was about to sit next to you on the bed as your phone started ringing, much to your dismay. You groaned in annoyance.

"Who the fuck is now?"

"Your mum"

"Tell her I can't talk, I'm sleeping"

He nodded and swiped on the screen to do as he was told. You knew your mum was dying to talk to you, to make sure you were doing okay but you just wanted to enjoy the peace of the moment and keep that special moment for you only.

When he finished talking, he finally climbed on the bed and you soon were all over him, wrapping your arms around his body and letting your head rest against his chest with your eyes closed breathing in his familiar scent, the best fragrance in the world to you.

"Are you comfortable? Maybe it's better if you lay on a pillow"

"Nope, you're my comfiest pillow"

John scoffed with a half smile and kissed your head.

"Wanna watch something on Netflix?"

"Nope, too tired" You muttered, cuddling closer to his chest.

John's lips curved in a smile as he brushed his thumb against your right cheekbone.

He then scrolled through his phone, answering all the text messages the people he knew sent him ahead of your baby girl's birth.

"What are you doing?" You really wanted and needed to crack some sleep but your mind wasn't agreeing as the level of adrenaline in your body was still too high, plus you wanted to stay awake to spend some time with John and checking on Iris. 

"Answering all the texts they've sent for Iris"

"Read me some" You wanted nothing more than to bask in the sweet words of people congratulating you, saying how beautiful your baby was and how strong you've been through all the process. After all you deserved all those sweet words: bringing a child into the world is something so brave people tend to underestimate sometimes.

John pressed play on a voice note from Kyle that made you both laugh, then read you one from Jack and at that moment your own phone rang with a notification and you asked John to check who it was from.

"It's from Sasha, she answered the pic you posted with "congrats you gorgeous mama"

"Aww she's always the sweetest"

"Well, you're everything but gorgeous now…"

"HEY" You threw a fist against his bicep with the little strength that was left in you. "I just pushed your daughter out of my vagina, you should be a little more grateful"

John loved getting on your nerves, making your thin-skinned side come to surface. He giggled, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear.

"I know I look awful and I stink as I really need to take a shower but I can't, I'm so tired" The whiny tone you pronounced those last words with was about to turn into a desperate cry but John took action just in time.

"You know I was joking" He took your face in his hands to look right into your eyes "I'd get you pregnant again right now if I could"

"Liar"

He laughed and kissed your forehead.

"I'll help you with the shower later on"

When your baby whined a little in her sleep the little yelp caught your attention as you both turned your heads towards the crib.

"There's the blanket over there, put it over her" You gestured for him to take the pink honeycomb blanket to cover your baby girl's sleeping body.

She looked so cute with that tiny blanketyou fell in love with as soon as your eyes took sight of it on the shop’s shelf and you had no doubt it would have been perfect for your beautiful baby.

“Can you believe we made her?” You asked John in awe as he was lovingly tucking her in. You got up to join him, encircling his waist with your right arm and putting your head against his bicep. "We made her teeny tiny feet, those little hands..."

“Yeah…you know what they say?”

“What?”

“Daughters tend to be more similar to their dads in the looks”

“So?”

“So if she’s beautiful that’s all thanks to me... even Kyle said it”

Another thing the collective consciousness ignored was the post pregnancy period: the danger of post-pregnancy depression was real but you knew you had the most handsome dad in the world who would have helped you along the path, even when the downs would have outnumbered the ups.

“Yeah Stones…I think you and your friend need some sleep too…you’re hallucinating”

And no, you weren't upset at all: you only wished for your daughter to be the carbon copy of her amazing father. So you hoped deep down your heart the Kyle was right.

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Prompts for Crown & Country. I am back?]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) 18: blanket (19) (20)

The baby monitor startles to life and kicks John awake -- awake, but only just enough to reflexively and somewhat violently shove off the heavy weight on top of him. The weight makes a grumpy sound and attempts to sling arm and leg back round, and John's brain catches up with itself. 

His head thunks back onto the pillow. 'Sherlock.' 

'Hmmmph.' 

'Rosie.' 

'Yes, fine, go.' But he doesn't actually move.

John wonders for a moment if he's gone round the twist officially, to be sharing a bed with a sea urchin.

But then the creature snuffles into his neck, and John extricates himself with a sleepy grin.

Two mornings later, after falling asleep alone while Sherlock did fuck-knows-what in the lounge for hours, John wakes up with a thump and finds himself on the floor next to the bed. 'What the--'

He's fairly certain he hasn't lost his proprioceptive capabilities during the night, so he glares when Sherlock's head appears over the side of the bed.

'Oh, dear,' Sherlock says distantly. 'I was wondering if that would happen.'

'If what would happen?' John grumbles as he stands and pushes his way back under the duvet.

Sherlock remains on the other side of the mattress, though, brow furrowed. 'If two people with our… histories could share a bed with any sort of regularity.'

John chews on this for a moment, thinking of his own behaviour a few mornings prior. 'D'you mean, should two people with nasty PTSD from recent near-death events share a bed?' he finally replies, settling on his back with a loose arm in obvious, but unforceful, invitation.

Sherlock sniffs, hesitates for one more moment, then accepts. 'Yes, obviously,' he says into John's shoulder once he's settled himself.

'Well,' John says, hand running slowly over Sherlock's arm, 'let's do worst case scenario.' 

It's something they do when Sherlock is caught in what John calls a "wonk spiral," facts and deductions swirling so fast and down such sparkling pathways that he's in danger of losing the plot, in more than one sense.

'Obvious,' Sherlock says.

'Doesn't matter,' John replies, same as he always does. 'What is it?'

'That we end up, quite literally, hurting each other.'

'And how can we prevent that?'

'We can't,' Sherlock says, exasperation plain in his voice.

'Sure we can,' John replies easily. 'We still have some of those corner-protectors for the furniture, yeah?'

Sherlock pulls back. 'You're suggesting we toddler-proof this room, but not for the toddler.'

'Easy.'

'Hmm.'

John pulls him back down. 'It's fine, Sherlock. It'll get better.' He knows this from past experience. 'We just… try not to trigger anything while we're awake, and we'll deal with it if it happens otherwise.'

'You sound very confident,' Sherlock murmurs, voice growing heavy with sleep.

'I've had more therapy than you,' he replies wryly.

He feels Sherlock start to tangle their legs together, then pause, then slowly move so they're connected but not holding each other down.

'See?' he murmurs into Sherlock's hairline. 'We're fairly clever. We'll be fine.'

Sherlock makes a noise somewhere between a harrumph and a sniff. 'More than fairly, I'd say.'

'Obviously,' John says lightly, grip on Sherlock's upper arm tightening momentarily. 'Now, sleep.'

And Sherlock, miraculously, does.

[ <3 ]

[bronx-bomber87]

Good evening wonderful fandom! SO glad to have a new ep to do some quick thoughts on. I missed our babies. As stated few weeks back the gif library is a turd right after an ep. So quick hand made ones till summer. Off we go.

6x04 Training Day

Lucy saying she’s fine as she consistently does all her fidgety tells screaming she is anything but LOL Tim picking this up too love it. Smart man saying what he does about “being fine.” They cute with her saying 'Does he want her to be upset?' He's so good at making her laugh in this moments. Makes my heart happy. Till John appears.... Way to jump in on their moment Nolan. Of course the man makes it worse…She was laughing before you got there John…Tim's face when she takes off. Like if I could punch you Nolan...

Oh Lucy... Definitely hitting her hard she’s still a patrol officer. Tasks that didn't used to bother her as much are. Ugh my girl. This is rough. You are anything but fine my friend…Poor Lucy last thing she needs is more alone time with her thoughts at a scene that'll take forever to wrap up. Not only that but babysitting puke…I think our girl is headed toward quite spiral that has yet to happen. Tim is gonna do his best to keep her sane but I have a gut feeling we are headed there. I could be wrong but just how I'm feeling.

Lucy killing me softly watching Juarez and Nolan get recognized on Tv. Mmm I am loving Tim coming to pick her up yum yum. Lucy mentioning almost getting that call... Damn nothing going her way today. Or lately... Think her only sanity at this point is that man next to her. Tim of course is picking up on it immediately knowing her mood is linked to Primm. Knows his girl so well. Stating she was hoping could've proved him wrong with catching a call like that.

I love this scene. Lucy telling Tim about her crappy day and Tim giving her perspective. Saying she could be the big hero tomorrow. Not only that but making her smile as well. Look at him building her up like it’s second nature. Cause it is. Damn I love these two. Him basically leaning on her and bumping her shoulder with his telling her not to be too greedy hehe That Lucy smile of his loud and proud. Making her beam as well. She loves this man next to her so much.

Oh my lord this entire scene had my heart racing. What an absolute BAMF our girl is holy hell. Tim would've lost his mind seeing this. Hell I did. I screamed when she got hit and my dog ran from the room LOL The looks on Harper/Lopez's face when she went down oh my goodness. The absolute panic on their faces. Right there with you ladies. This was a huge risk she took to prove herself. One like I said Tim would’ve lost his mind at seeing.

Lucy was definitely being the big hero this entire scene oh my lord my heart was pounding. What a way to impress Harper and Lopez but give me a damn heart attack. That scene in the ally with the brother..... I was worried when he didn’t stop she was gonna have to shoot him. Giving me 5x19 flashbacks. I think she is going to CARRY this with her for a long time. Being an empath is no joke. Our girl one of the finest even at her own detriment.

I was hoping for some insanely worried Tim and they DELIVERED. Like that man couldn't breathe till he set eyes on his girl. Oh my damn lord. The way he ran to get to her. Man on a mission doesn’t even stop to check in with Grey. By-passes them completely. Only wants to get to Lucy. His hand on her head had me reeling everyone. It's the gentle way he caresses her hair I'm squeeing. Also his non stop touching.

Trying to ground her by letting her know he was there emotionally and physically. Rubbing his thumb up and down her her collar bone. The sweet squeezes. I'm a puddle.. The way this man has transformed because of her still blows my mind. The sweet comforting touches. I'm losing my mind. His adorable attempt at a joke telling her she didn’t have to take the hero suggestion literally. Ugh Lucy breaking my heart into million pieces. Saying she doesn’t feel like one.

Melissa you deserve all the awards madam I’m crying. Her little pre cry when he says they'll deal with it my damn heart. Killing me. I love how Tim's hands have not left her for 90 percent of this moment. Protective Tim was very much present in this scene with Wes. Grey was too being like dude let us take the win. Feral Tim having Wes back it off for tomorrow. Wade being the sweet man he is says that's ok. Lucy is going to be anxious about all this. I would be stressed about him succumbing to his injuries now that Wes said that. Read the room Evers lol

Gah Tim telling her let’s go home. Then we get another glorious hug where he encases her in his arms. Protecting her emotionally from this situation. Lucy burying herself in his embrace. Wrapping her arm around him tightly to ground herself again. She needed to fall apart in his arms before they left. THIS IS SOO GOOD. Annnnnnd another head kiss I’m dead I am writing these thoughts from the grave.

Oh my word this season has delivered in spades both friggin crap. I’m out of breath from this episode in the best way. Also whoever does the music needs a raise I say it time and time again. But that song was perfection against the backdrop of this final scene. Was telling D earlier I already need to change my header to it.

I love this hug SO much it's insane. Sure I'll write a novel on it this summer. Having everything that's going on plus this I think our girl is hurtling toward a breakdown of some sort. Some actual UC/detective feelings coming with it. Cause our girl is anything but fine. I'm so excited to see where we go from here S6 has every bit worth the wait. I cannot wait till next week

~~

Side notes -non Chenford

Yay Aaron progress in therapy. Back to active duty ha his heart rate going up for her too cute.

We finally get Nyla’s new hair style. Loving it

Adore the idea of Tim being one to take Aaron back out. Ain’t no one better.

Mmmh love hard ass TO Tim in metro uniform yummy. Does things to me. Aaron thinking he got this TRAIN but there is panic there.

‘Train is leaving the station officer Thorsen.’ Mmmm He does impress Tim for this first call. Yay Aaron haha

Giving Aaron only 9 minutes before bouncing him back to being a rookie oh my lord Timothy. I love you so much.

I do adore watching Tim watching Aaron do well. I’m sure there is a part of him that misses being a teacher. You can see it in these scenes. The pride and excitement he gets when Aaron is doing well. Aaron doing little fist pump and Tim shaking his head I’m dying.

Also How can Tim make leaning against a chair look so sexy? I want to be the chair he is leaning against in this scene with the wife LOL

Glad he passed Tim's TRAIN test. Glad they took their time getting him back out there. Was realistic

Feel free to comment any and all thoughts. I welcome them. See you all next week!

[partywithoutsmiling]

Alright darling (can i call you that?) the Rock Beast AU just became my new ✨️hyperfixation✨️ so prepare! Please tell us how does John reacts to his bitty B becoming a Monster

Once he actually finds out who the great Beast is, not very well obviously XD

But if that AU would be a fic, it would be at least couple chapters down the line. My idea for Poppy's and Branch's escape is that while at first they crossed quite a distance through air, soon they were forced to travel by foot, as Branch's wing becomes injured and trying to take flight again would be foolish.

A blessing in disguise it turns out, as the Rock Trolls under Barb's command do not think to stop and search the ground, not that close to their territory, and our duo hides out of sight in the undegrowth, just to see their Angler Ships pass overhead, clearly heading towards the Pop territory

(the thought for this AU being that Barb is convinced that Pop poses exactly the same amount of threat as it did in the ancient past, where they were the most numerous, and seeing the pitiful number of Pop trolls rounded up, figures there must be more Pop villages hidden deep inside the woods that make their territory- so it would make sense to her to think Poppy and Branch went to get more back up- which is correct in a way, as Branch's intention was to fly them all the way to Bergentown, as having giants for allies would become handy in this case)

Meeting John Dory was a complete accident. Headcanoning that he had bad business with the Rock Trolls in the past, he probably decided to skeddadle into the wilderness once he saw the activity in the sky, not wanting to deal with that business- and I liked the idea that the Neverglades were actually a sort of natural border between Pop and Rock, a contested piece of land for both. Usually quite content to sleep out and about, either under stars or in Rhonda, the storm and all the chaos happening around him has him relocate to well known and explored caves- in which he finds Poppy and Branch, who sort of unanimously decide to keep their travelling to the night time, where it gives them less chance to be spotted.

Neither group is thrilled to be discovered by the other, at first- John Dory simply on the principle that lone trolls seems to be bounty hunters more often than not (and this one has a literal monster by her side!) and Poppy... well, for the exact same reason really XD she had been burned by her trust in a stranger- one that led her into this mess she is in- and the source of her major guilt is standing right behind her.

However, compared to JD, she is injured; an unexpected dip in the lake left her feeling sickly, and she is starving- and Branch is hardly doing any better. So it all ends up in a rather tense stand off, where Branch is the only one spiralling, because holy shit that's his brother

And he wants to wail and he wants to sink his claws into JD's face and tear that smug ass grin off his face- and it's the shock of that thought that has him to do neither of those things, and instead forces him to evaluate the situation a bit better.

Because for all JD's abandonment, he is a Pop Troll- and that means a potential ally- and so it is with a gentle nuzzle that he sooths Poppy's unvoiced fears and worries, and encourages her to ask JD for help

The introductions come, of course- but Poppy doesnt mention that Branch is a troll-turned-beast, and while JD's expression turns rather strained at hearing Branch's name, there is nothing that would clue him in that Branch is *his* Branch (His precious baby brother, who he thinks is dead for several years, and being an expert at avoidance of painful truths, there is no way he is sharing that with a complete stranger)

So as far he knows, Poppy's "pet" just has a rather unfortunate name, and Branch's colours are again rather washed out.

Branch just doesnt want to deal with the mess that is his familial trauma and is quite relieved JD doesnt have a clue to his original identity

(of course Poppy, desperate to socialize after being locked up with no-one but mute Branch for company, ends up bonding with JD rather quickly- especially after he treats her wounds and offers her a safe shelter- and finding his collection of memorabilia snowballs into discovering his identity as THE John Dory- and Branch's connection to it all, when John Dory, unable to resist the force that is Poppy, eventually talks about all his brothers- including Bitty B)

Also, this isn't connected to that scene, but even then I think you would enjoy this little treat:

----------------------

Branch was injured.

That much Poppy could observe, from the simple way he was carrying himself.

The rush of their escape didn’t seem to want to pass; the pink troll felt like every breath came out with accompanied tremble, and her heart was keen on making itself as loud as possible- it drummed hard in her ears and pulsed in tandem with the ache that throbbed mutely through her sore arm.

The sudden dive and crash into the murky depths of the lake jostled it- but at the time, her mind was hardly crystal clear enough to focus on anything but uncoordinated flailing as she panicked from the shock of the chilling water, trying to instinctively kick herself up to get to the surface. A great deal of her attention had also been overtaken by fear; for her life, yes, but also for Branch, as she had seen him seize up in one blink and then start falling out of the sky in another, his grip on her- previously strong and secure- now limp and weak, a puppet losing all motion as if its strings were suddenly cut.

Yet it was him who dragged her out of the lake in the end, his great head going under her belly and chest and lifting her high above the surface, leaving her clutching onto his mane with painful grip, gasping and sputtering, a sob roughly tearing through her throat before she could stop it. The sudden relief of air filling her lungs once more was not enough to mask the sudden pain that laced through her right arm, and Poppy had sobbed once more, clenching her eyes shut, burying her face into the soggy mess of Branch’s hair.

Low rumbling moan echoed from the beast under her, the strength of it- for all that it was quiet- reaching all the way to her core- but she was unable to do anything but breathe, the action shallow and painful, as her arm throbbed throbbed throbbed.

Vaguely, she felt the chilling water lapping at her legs, and her ears twitched at the sound of soft splashes- the body under her rocking forward, Branch’s breath just as shallow as hers, but clearly now moving, swimming, towards what she hoped was dry land.

The sky crackled, a thunder left in the wake of it, and she shivered when a first drop splashed against her back, bringing a shock of ice to her already drenched body. Another moan and Branch lurched forward, his swimming now gaining urgency- even in this shape, he was well aware of the danger that rain possessed for species as small as theirs, especially when it caught them on a lake. The prickle of unease was what had her force herself to lift her herself up, her good arm gripping Branch’s mane more firmly while held the other more securely to her chest.

Already the drops were breaking the surface apart, the water splashing up and sending waves that clearly impeded her friend’s progress; one that seemed to be made difficult simply for the fact that Branch had extra set of limbs that were hardly made for swimming- with one wing flapping or paddling awkwardly to help propel forward, while her other followed at much slower pace. It was the trembles and shakes that seemed to run through the appendage that caused Poppy’s heart to plummet to the depths of her stomach.

“Branch..?”

He voice was a pathetically weak and wobbly thing- there has been a shock, followed by euphoria, when her companion suddenly ripped through the bars dividing their cells like knife through butter. His cell had been a dark and dreary place, cut away from any natural light- hers had a large barred window that showed nothing but the menacing glow of the volcano, its fiery tones casting orange hues into the grim, cloudy looking sky. She had often caught him watching through the gaps of his cell, great glowing red eyes focused intently on the singular glimpse of freedom, and many times wondered if his sudden critter like instincts urged him to take flight. He did many things in the time they had nothing but each other for company, that could hardly hint that his interest could have other reasons. He prowled around, as much as his chains allowed him, and quite often his wings would flap. His claws would flex and his limbs would stretch- and Poppy had thought it a simple restlessness of a trapped animal, frustrated at the lack of necessary space.

She had thought. She didn’t expect it to be a slow exploration and familiarization of foreign limbs and muscles- not until she had been scooped up like kittenbug, and not until they were hurling face first through the window, Branch simply tucking his head closer to his body and tearing through it like a single-troll battering ram.

“Branch,” she whispered again, the sound trailing into a low moan, not unlike his own- but he didn’t respond, not even with a growl- not until she let go of his mane so she could gingerly touch the trembling wing.

The limb flinched and Branch went stiff under her for a moment, soft warning hiss audible even through the loudness of the storm- and though he didn’t stop his swimming, Poppy withdrew her hand as if burned, realizing that now perhaps wasn’t the best time to find out where his hurts were coming from.

“I’m sorry,” her apology was quick and strained ,“I’m sorry, Branch, I’m sorry-“ and the water was now blurring her vision, and perhaps it was her tears and not the rain, and perhaps her ill timed touch was not what she was apologizing for.

But Branch suddenly made a soft chuff, and his head twisted to peer back at her, the lamp like glow of his red eyes more comforting than one would expect. But Poppy hardly felt unnerved by the sight of them- not when she couldn’t feel any drop of malice, and the pink troll heaved a shuddering breath, bowing forward so she could reach and gently rub one of the Beast’s long ears. The appendage flicked, and his eyes blinked slowly, another chuff falling from his lips, before he turned to face forward again, his swimming seemingly becoming more determined.

Poppy swallowed and closed her eyes, her exhale a tad less shaky than before.

They will be okay. They have to be.

[f10werfae]

The Build Up

Pairing: Husband!Construction!Chris x Wife!Reader

Warnings: none really

Summary: Nothing better than a visit on site by the missus, and a lot of domestic chris!

part 2: The Build Up Pt2

- Requests are open!

Likes, Comments and Re-blogs are appreciated♥️

Full Masterlist♥️

Chris Evans Masterlist✨

Taglist Form: So you don’t miss any of my posts!🌸

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

(Chris' P.O.V)

The scorching sun was horrific, sending waves of sweat and stench to our construction site. Loads of us men having to strip down to the likes of our white vests, our reflective vests long forgotten.

“Oi Chris, when do we get to meet this missus of yours?” John called from the other side of the house we were working on, a new A lister client.

“When I want ya to” I chuckled back, watching him shake his head before going back to nailing parts together, the other guys laughing along with a rag or two being thrown at me.

“Yeah literally all we know is that her name is Y/n, and that’s because her names on your chest dude” Logan commented gesturing to the ink on my chest, positioned right above where my heart would be.

Shaking my head, I just continued on shovelling gravel into the ground before levelling out, trying not to let the heat get to me.

“Look all ya need to know is that m'a happily married man alright?”

“Yes sir”

Despite the harsh weather, I knew i’d never trade my job in. The pay was good, the hours are negotiable, what else could I really settle for? Not to mention it saves me from having to go to the gym three or four times a week.

So lost in thought I didn’t even realise my phone in my back pocket had started going off, setting down my shovel by the brick wall I answered it.

“Baby, i’m here” I heard that sweet honey-like voice of hers say, a smile instantly flying onto my face when I heard her words of endearment. The guys wiggling her eyebrows at me once they saw the smile on my face, they musta caught onto who was on the phone.

“Where abouts are ya precious?” I tried to say as quietly as possible, not wanting to attract attention to it.

“Mmm I’m by the street light on the right, you forgot your lunch again hun” With that motherly scolding voice of hers, I felt myself cower a little before turning to the right, seeing her gorgeous self there. Graced in a short flowly blue floral summer dress, I instantly felt myself swoon, the baby stroller sitting right beside her.

“Gotta go boys, I won’t be long” I breathed out leaving my equipment, walking down the street, my steps getting faster the closer I got.

Y/n's arms outstretched inviting me in for a hug,

“Baby I stink, and i’m sweaty. I don’t know if you’d wanna hug me right now” I said stepping back a little, a pout forming on those kissable lips of hers.

“I don’t care, I wanna hug from my husband”

“Alright c'mere” I growled pulling her in by her hand, her arms going around my neck as I encircled around her waist. Her sweet vanilla scent taking away the industrial smell of the site.

“Didn' I tell ya not to come here? The fumes aren’t good for you or the kids” I scolded back, my hands going to settle on her visible rounded stomach housing our second baby,

“I know, but I missed you, and so did Noah” She said in a smaller voice, turning around to pick up our 1 year old, his hands stuffed in his mouth.

“There’s my little man” I beamed taking him into my arms, his face overlooking my shoulder as I brought Y/n in closer, my lips catching her in a soft passionate kiss. Only separating when we heard the men behind us cheering, giggles leaving us both as our foreheads rested against each others.

“You better get home early, you know what this does to me”

She whispered against my lips, her hands trailing down my chest in the white vest, her hands resting on the surface of my stomach, kisses being pressed into my chest.

“gah you need to stop bein so distracting, thought you were gonna be good this time?” I teased settling Noah back into his stroller, my hands going to cup my beautiful wife's face, her pregnancy glow making her even more irresistible.

“Sorry baby, but baby here jus missed his daddy” She teased biting her lip a little,

“Oh but he’s not the only one now is he?”

“Hmm nope. Not my fault you look so handsome all built up like this, you look like such a good daddy”

“Is that right?” I whispered, her nose nuzzling against mine

“Oi Chris, you gonna introduce us or what?” I heard Logan say behind us, rolling my eyes I turned around to see the whole lot of them lookin at us.

“Y/n honey, meet the boys, boys this is my wife Y/n and our son Noah”

“Cute. So how did yall meet? There’s no way this sweaty mess of a man just met a soft n'elegant woman like yourself outta nowhere”

“Chris didn’t tell you guys how we met?” Y/n asked curiously, knowing damn well that’s my go to story every time we meet someone new.

With all of them shaking my head she started off with,

“Well before Chris had his own construction company, he actually freelanced around my hometown fixin stuff for whoever. I had come home from college and I was like 22, to see this hunk fixin one of my ma's broken windows. Trust me I was in shock, but then I found out he was a bit older. But that didn’t stop us, did it Chrissy?”

“Chrissy?” Steven snorted

“Shut up Steven if you wanna job tomorrow” I snarked back, my ears feeling warmer at the embarrassment.

“Okay but we wanna know the whole story” Logan said pushing further,

“How about y’all come over to our house tomorrow night for dinner? we'd love to have ya, and i’ll tell ya how we got together” Y/n said happily, god she was so caring and welcoming.

“Is that alright with you boss” I heard someone call out from behind.

“yeah, anything to make the wife happy”

[sheeluvsme]

John Soap mactavish headcannons !

LETTS GET READY TO RUMBLEEE!! Hi everyone! I saw how everyone really liked my last post about price and Valeria !!! So i figured I’ll do our boy soap next :))!! Who should I write about next? I was thinking könig…lmk!!

CW// This is SFW and NSFW!! there will be female anatomy used Lightly, also NOT proof read LMAOO , ANGST! ( warning nurse! Reader, brief death) semi public stuff? Just let me know if I missed anything!!

When you first met soap , you really thought he was WEIRD AS SHIT

He like completely puzzled you with his jokes 😭

You two met at a pub!! He had claimed to think your face was familiar and you told him you worked for army medical. You were a army nurse ! That’s when it clicked in his tiny little brain, because lord knows he’s been to medical lotssss of times.

The first thing that pulled him in was your laugh. When you finally started laughing at his stupid jokes he couldn’t help but smile like a teen boy.

Soap is also good to you! He i a sweetheart and lovessss taking you wherever you want to go, he mostly likes going shopping with your for two very important reasons 1. To make sure no one fucks with you 2. So he can get his favorite candy.

He actually likes watching you shop and be in your own little world! He thinks it’s cute because when he’s focused he does the same thing.

He knows you have anxiety about alottttt of things and he is right there for you! He knows public places scare you because of germs and also just some many loud people

He finds it funny your so loud and assistive at your place of work but as soon as you hit the public you turn into a shy little thing and he adores it!

Especially when you don’t want to bother people, your sitting there with your cart … waiting for this one person to move… and he’s like “ what you waitin’ for lass?” And you jester to the person in-front of you. He can’t help but smile and shake his head at you “ excuse meh’ ! We gotta get by you” he louder then he should of announced 😭

Soap always says the most random funny shit to you, he knows you have quite a gruesome sad job sometimes , so coming back home with him and his humor really helps!!

One day you absolutely came home in tears , you were shattered, your heart felt so so sore. He couldn’t help but immediately sore to you hold you. “ aye aye ..sweetheart what’s wrong-?! Did someone hurt you? Is it your boss again because I swea-“ you just shake your head no. You quietly explain to him through your tears a kid died on you. There was nothing you could really do but make them comfortable but you couldn’t help but feel sorrow. Because you definitely wanted kids with soap. So this scared you. He just holds you so tightly stroking your hair. “ it’s ok sweetheart. You did your absolute best. It’s ok..”

He always know how to exactly get you feeling better. Even if your sick ! You yell at him to stay away from you because you’re sick and have gross germs!! But he literally couldn’t care he picks you up anyways kissing you and hugging you!

He wasn’t very educated on periods at first but you definitely taught him , maybe a little too graphic because after he hugged you and told you how lucky he is to have a dick LMAOO

On your period he like genuinely calls it ‘ Shark week! ‘

He’s the type to say , when you ask him to grab you pads and says ‘ what size pussy you got ‘ PLSPSLLSL

You catch this man listening to the lady Gaga or Katie Perry 100% AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE LITERALLY HAS NO SHAME

He thinks your just the prettiest thing wearing his shirts !! Makes him secretly go nuts

He admires you a lot , the way you have to be up at ASS O’CLOCK in the morning for work and you still make him lunch or morning coffee???? He wants to be YOU when he grows up LMAOO

NSFW

He also like price has a primal urge to make you his baby momma LMAOO

He loves telling you that during sex “ yeah? Like that? You like when I’m deep inside you hm? Gonna’ getcha’ fucking pregnant with my kid.”

He is a MAJOR bitter

He loves biting you everywhere and leaving his marks on you. It’s his favorite thing getting up after you watching you slip on your scrubs and try and cover your neck bites with makeup. He can’t help but cheekily smile

He is also a MAJOR pussy eater , loveessss eating you like a starved man , especially overstimulation.

He will eat you over and over and over till your literally sobbing and saying you can’t anymore ( he of course respects your request)

He is BIGGGG on in public stuff ‼️‼️

Like if your out for a nice dinner you can’t help but send a glare his way as his hand creeps up your thigh. “ what do you think your doing?” You playfully smack his hand away. “ what dose it look like I’m doing hm?” He whispers. “ it looks like your focused on the wrong food.” You keep yourself together as you sip your wine. “ I’m a man who likes his dessert before his dinner what can I say?” You choke on your wine.

DONT even get me started when your out clubbing together going to a pub with a few of 141 to have a good time , you yourself are having too much of a good time. Your buzzed , warm , and feeling damn good, your make up worked out perfectly and your clothes fit you JUST right.

Soap leaves his eyes off you for one minute and he sees gaz and price chuckling as they point to you , clearly having the time of your life in the crowded dance floor , soap is chuckling too until he notices a guy gawking you and obviously too close for his comfort. Your oblivious to what’s happening honestly there’s so many people smooshed together, your too focused on dancing.

He quickly sets down his drink squeezing through people, quickly apologizing. He grabs your waist quickly pulling you close before looking back at the guy that was very close to touching what’s his. Soap quickly says “ step off. She’s with me.” You quickly turn around to see your beautiful boyfriend and smile “ Johnny!! I was wondering when you’d come out here and show off your sweet dance moves!” Obviously teasing him. Because his ass can not dance 😭

Soap hears you and smiles but he’s quietly brewing. Suddenly he’s dragging you to the clubs bathroom. Thank god it’s a single use. “ wha- cmon was my dancing that embarrassing?” You tease him wondering what the hell is happening. “ no love. Not that. Just..” her huffs grabbing you pulling you close. “ people keep ogling’ whats mine. I don’t take very kindly to it.” Your cheeks heat up. You’ve never seen him like this but your not complaining. You didn’t even notice people looking at you. “ well I promise I’m all yours Johnny..” he quickly sticks his lips to yours. Hungrily kissing you , licking into you. “ soap- every one else is gonna-“ he quickly cuts you off. “ let them. I’m having you right now whether they like it or not.”

Soap seems more dominant but he is half and half sometimes he just needs to be your good boy ‼️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️

He absolutely LOVESSSSS when you top him or sit on his face. If he’s tired but still really wants you THATS when he turns into putty in your hands.

He fucking loves when you pull on his Mohawk ‼️ he can’t help but whimper and god damn is so beautiful.

BIG ON PRAISE let that poor boy know he’s doing good!!! Degrading him just makes him feel competitive, then the tables will turn..

He loves begging you to let him cum in you , “ please- please let me cum in you. Fucking hell!- haa- please please. I want you to feel good-“ of course with him you obviously CANT say no!!

He’s also pretty good with after care, he likes taking baths with you because soap does enjoy a good bubble bath!!

Next morning you wake up late because it’s your day off, he’s gone for work already but you smell something? You walk into the kitchen and he made you breakfast and coffee with a small note. “ gotta take care of my girl after she takes care of me , I love ya ! -your secret admirer” and ofc he spells like half of that wrong but its ok because you do indeed love your boyfriend!

Thank you for reading!!! Hope you enjoyed <33

[deviousfatestudio]

Bounty hunter branch!

His goggles are to be like JD’s but to also resemble his old baby glasses so they’re white and purple!

He’s still are sarcastic little goober just with a bit more murder on the side. Branch inherits Floyd’s vest when Floyd gives it to him for one of his birthdays. Branch has a sharp knife he keeps on him cause JD won’t trust him with a machete EVEN THOUGH HE CAN USE IT JOHN HES NOT A KID! the necklace is from Bruce who created it with Brandi. His hair is a little more wild like Clays and he has a poppy flower as a tattoo.

He and the other bounty hunters have a separate group called “We Literally Kill People But Our Siblings Still See Us As Babies” and yes hickory and one of the kpop gang are involved.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Get Back Rewatch 55 Years On: Day 14

Who is this talking to Ringo? Press? A boy scruff? Someone who wants their project produced by Apple? He tries George too.

Again, I love the "freak-out" as John calls it. They really could've had so much fun together under different circumstances. (Different being neither of them ever dated John) But John's so sweet saying, "Id like it to be part of her new LP. Our new LP."

I wonder what Robert Fraser thought of the beard.

Why are we playing 20 Flight Rock now, Paul? It's just overlayed over a montage to change "scenes", but I wonder what the real context was.

Billy. What a little ray of sunshine honestly.

"So what should we do that's fun? Besides work?" I feel like every day, John has a little adorable quote, and this is today's. Words to live by.

I don't remember if Get Back includes the "Oh Darling" version where John's answering back between lines in conversation with the lyrics. I sincerely hope so. Peter Jackson was probably like "well I can only include so much homosexuality before people have too many questions."

Ringo, you smooth criminal. I love that he just has this trick he learned as a teenager that the Beatles were all impressed by, back when Ringo was the scary gangster with the car and the beard, and he still does it for them like ten years later. It's so endearing.

Another cute John and Yoko moment: "It's just that screaming all the way." "Poor John." "Yes, it's so terrible." She's teasing him and being sweet to him at the same time. Cuties.

George asks Paul where his Rickenbacker is. "Isn't that one much better?" And Paul makes up some shit about the Hoffner being lighter. You nostalgic little bitch. Poor baby.

John's little guilty look at the camera when he's almost just taken something on film. It's cute. He looks like a naughty kid. But it's kind of a cool moment. It shows just how relaxed and natural he is. He's not performing for or worried about the cameras at all. What we're seeing of him today is just him. You know? Idk I think it's nice.

What's with the little pigeon noises in the middle of a recording, guys? They're so weird smh

Poor Glyn. He's just trying to do his job and he has to deal with fucking Leopold and Leob over here. He gives them some instruction. There's a look between the two of them. And then it's all, "Don't interrupt" "Hey son" "Stahhs when" "Hey" "they're recording. We're bloody Stahhs you know." "Look fuckface. Don't comment." "The cheek." The impenetrable wall of Lennon and McCartney, folks.

"Well, we'll have to do it sitting down. Or we get too excited." It's heartbreaking to me how obvious it is that they're still just having the absolute time of their lives together and that, as John put it, "the minutes are crumbling away."

Literally what the hell is with Dennis smacking Paul's ass (as like a 'good job, your band wants to put your song out as the single' I guess) and nobody reacting? Linda would've been like "ope, time to find a new head of Apple films." (Dave Spinoza on RAM, anyone?) He really does look so proud of himself, though. Happy for you, baby.

Oh, right, that's what Robert thinks. Paul looks like his working class fantasy. (DH Lawrence. Victorian Miner.)

And I'm just going to add this, since Peter Jackson REFUSES. Paul: Can't afford to mess around here, you know. Then

[lime-bloods]

Homestuck's Gnosticism: The World / The Wheel

Everyone knows Homestuck is "a Gnostic story".

Wait, why does it feel like we've had this exact conversation before...?

AH. SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN ME.

If you followed along with the first post in this series, you'll be familiar already with the Gnostic nature of Homestuck's central conflict between the spirit world and the flesh. And even if I say so myself, I think that post is pretty definitive; if you're ever unsure what a particular character's motivations or end goal are, the Conflict will tell you. But what's conspicuously absent from the post is any explanation of what actually happens in Homestuck. We've covered the why, but very little of the how.

I left us off on the "synonymous goals" that spring naturally from this conflict between flesh and spirit; attaining ultimate knowledge, and escaping the confines of Homestuck itself. Eagle-eyed readers probably spotted what was lying between the lines, there: the comic is called Homestuck because it's about being stuck in a house, so the ending is about escaping the house. But what does that really look like? And how did they get in that house in the first place?

Let's return very briefly to a quote I used in the previous post. "[Y]our ultimate self [...] unlike god tiers or bubble ghosts or whatever, it really IS immortal". Two assumptions naturally grow out of this fact. First, and probably most obvious: when John dies, he's not really gone. The idea of him still exists out there, somewhere, and in our minds, so he still exists. Second, though: if the idea of him is eternal, John obviously didn't start existing when he was born. So again we ask, where did he come from?

How did John get here? Where does he go? The answers to these questions are like the four sides of one hypercoin, in that Homestuck is a time loop... of a sort.

To begin to understand this, we need to reiterate what was basically "the point" of the first post: Homestuck operates on two distinct levels, a spiritual plane consisting purely of ideas, and a "literal" physical dimension. What happens on these two planes often mirrors each other, and because Homestuck itself is a work of fiction which operates in the realm of ideas, they can even intersect. But ultimately, what "literally" happens to the characters in Homestuck is not the same as the ideas the comic is expressing in its spiritual metanarrative.

The fact that a physical time loop is impossible is something Homestuck inherits from real-life physics: to put it simply, John being born can't be the physical John from the end of his timeline, because that John would be way too old to be a baby! But ideological time loops are not only something sanctioned by Paradox Space, but essential to its very being; they are where it gets its name, after all! To repeat another lynchpin quote from the comic: there is essentially nothing new in paradox space. Any idea that seems new necessarily must have just come from somewhere else.

"SbaHJ has the distinction of being the symbolic language of [Dave's] subconscious." (Homestuck: Book 3: Act 4, p. 282)

Frequently we see this expressed in the rooms representing characters' dreams, which, as discussed, sort of transcend the character's physical form and represent the broad ideas that characters are made of. Dave's dreams (pictured above) are covered with drawings of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, characters he seemingly invented as a child after being inspired by a drawing Terezi sent to him. But Terezi's drawing was based on Dave's own illustrations she saw later on in his timeline; so which of them truly "invented" Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff? Neither of them did; SBaHJ exists as pure subconscious ideological matter floating through Paradox Space, only sometimes being picked up by a character's conscious mind. Similarly, Gamzee tries to manipulate this subconscious realm when he uses his psychic powers to place a terrifying effigy of Jack Noir in John's dreams, as punishment for the destruction of the trolls' session. But as we know, Jack Noir only took that form because of the nightmares this doll caused! So again; neither John or Gamzee thought up the demonic clown "first". It existed in the realm of ideas before either of them ever had the chance to invent it.

These kinds of ideological loops are the bread-and-butter of jujus. We're told their origins are untraceable and that they can't be destroyed, but neither of these things is really true; these superstitions exist only to obfuscate the true rule that jujus "emerge spontaneoUsly from the void." Rather than be erased from existence, a juju can only be banished to that same void of nonexistence where disembodied ideas live, and then pulled back into the world of dreams by a prospective psychic.

With these rules established, now we can really delve into with appreciation the ideological time loop that underpins all of Homestuck. And like all good time loops, the best place to start is at the end.

ACT 7 (Are you tired of seeing it yet?)

Let's not insult anyone's intelligences here: you know and I know that Caliborn's little house juju looks like the Homestuck logo because it is Homestuck; when he wins it from Yaldabaoth, he takes control of it, and when he sucks the heroes inside, he's trapping them in the confines of his material world.

What's essential to keep in mind here, though, is that the power of a juju is the power of the idea itself. It's easiest for us to think of the word juju in Homestuck as a concrete noun, referring simply to a magical object. But the word's real-life origins, referring more abstractly to magic or enchantment, are still relevant in this fictional framework. Lil Cal isn't just "a juju", but is "FILLED WITH BAD JUJU." Magic in Homestuck has always really been about the idea that believing in something can make it real, and the purpose of all Homestuck's dealings with chucklevoodoos and jujus is to evoke the anthropological concept of the "fetish"; an item whose power comes from human beings ascribing supernatural qualities to it. Jujus are all part of the "game" the cherubs play, with all its rules and quirks; breaking an enchantment is like breaking a rule, in that it changes nothing about the real world: you've just infringed upon an idea. The juju isn't the object; the juju is the power, good or bad, ascribed to the object.

All of this is really just to say one thing: Caliborn's home juju can't trap the flesh versions of John and his friends; as we established, you can't send old John back in time to become young John. But what a juju can trap is something far more important; the ideas of John and his friends. This is why it doesn't matter if the heroes who travel back to the beginning of everything to beat Lord English while he's still a kid are the "main" timeline versions of those heroes from some point in the future, or if the Epilogues' version of events is truth and they're some "irrelevant" offshoots: because all of those characters are represented by the same idea, and that's what Caliborn puts in the box. No matter what timeline John is from, he's from Homestuck, to Homestuck he must return, and as such Homestuck is what he must be forced to escape. Refer again back to the previous post: Caliborn can't create or destroy, only take pure ideas and alchemise them down into a form he can control.

And that's why Act 7 so enigmatically features two different white home-doors (above), seemingly so interconnected yet effectually unrelated. Because Act 7 takes up the hefty role of concluding two storylines simultaneously: allowing the "real", flesh-world versions of John and his friends to escape Lord English's reality through one door, while also concluding Homestuck's metanarrative by setting the ideas of John and his friends free of their prison through another door.

So far, most of this is probably stuff you'd have either figured out on your own or at least heard from someone else already. And if we set aside such distractions as run-ins with radioactive imps and omnipotent dog-gods, the "whats" and "hows" of the heroes' story are probably the easier parts of Homestuck to figure out. What's more difficult to fully comprehend on a first pass is how Lord English himself fits into all of this.

If you've been following me for any stretch of time, you'll notice in my analysis of Homestuck I've returned to the topic of black holes frequently. I've lost track of how many versions I've published of what I call "Black Hole Theory". And I won't link to any of them here, because ultimately Black Hole Theory was a corkboard to which I could pin the evidence that would eventually, piece by piece, lead us to where we are right now:

If the home juju is a white "hole" leading out of the confines of Homestuck as a story, then black holes are the doors that lead back in. An early clue to this comes in the form of Calliope's stage in the heart of a spiral: these spirals are Calliope's visions of black holes, which she uses as "dark pocket[s]" from which "no information can escape" - a literal description of a black hole - and that stage is the very same one Caliborn stages his story on when he takes full control of Homestuck's narrative. The meaning here should be clear: Calliope creates black holes, and it's the center of these black holes where stories can take place.

But for all the evidence we need to suggest that Lord English's fall into a black hole leads to something more complex than just his destruction, we need not look further than conventional science:

In the quantum world [...] information cannot be created nor destroyed.

Lisa Zyga, on the conservation of quantum information.

This rule that "ideas" are truly immortal, and that any time an idea seems to be destroyed it must have merely been transported somewhere else, holds true even in the scientific world of black hole physics. This has been played with in MS Paint Adventures before; theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking's take on black holes was that some stuff could in fact escape a black hole, contrary to Calliope's assertions, in the form of Hawking radiation. But Hussie's own version of the story was always a lot more to the point: something gets sucked into the center of a black hole, it gets shot out somewhere else. In hypothetical physics this is called a white hole - no doubt you can see where this is going.

So Lord English's final moments in Homestuck see him not destroyed, or killed, or defeated in combat in any traditional way, but sucked right back into Homestuck. What exactly does that mean?

Homestuck, p. 8105

As long as we're talking the power of ideas and symbols, possibly the most blatant a symbol can get is in the form of a gesture; and the thumbs-down is possibly one of the most ancient gestures there is. Dave gets one, Tavros gets one, and, so they say, even the Roman gladiators got them. This precedent makes the meaning of the gesture clear: "you're going down." And it makes sense, too, that Hussie, the "good author", would signal the "evil author's" demise in such a way. But some might question the effectiveness of the power of gesture at such a pivotal point in the comic. Are we really to believe that English's defeat was, even in part, the result of another author merely willing him away like a tyrant doing away with an entertainer who has fallen out of favour? Or did the Hussie-character actually have some kind of plan to deal with his Hulk-like alter ego?

Of course he did.

...now Caliborn has hijacked the property of his experiential continuum which he has reason to believe is called "the narrative". Little does he know you recently made the shrewd decision to purchase(?) the ACT 6 ACT 6 SUPERCARTRIDGE EXPANSION PACK! Just plug it into any in-universe console port to unlock a variety of exciting new gameplay features and proceed through remaining canon unfettered, while Caliborn muddles through six new sub-sub-acts of infantile "subversive parody" targeting the very tale he inhabits, none the wiser!

To allow our heroes the chance escape their narrative prison, English isn't just to be trapped in their old cell; it's to be trapped within an infinitely-recursing cell, not just reliving one story over and over again but forced to live out infinitely many different stories. Not just a narrative loop; a narrative spiral. That's what being sucked into the black hole means for Lord English.

When Roxy - the Hero of Void whose very symbol is that of the black hole - banishes Caliborn-as-Cal into the void, he becomes one of the very wandering ideas with which English plays like dolls. "Instances of [Doc Scratch] have spawned in countless universes", and they have "never once failed to complete [their] objective": whether he wants to or not, Lord English will always be born again. In a new universe, perhaps, maybe even in a different shape, but his role always the same. Caliborn thinks that by filling the supercartridge with special stardust and corrupting the story, he's won, but looking at the bigger picture the truth is clear: he's only playing by somebody else's rules.

Just as Skaia uses lotus "seeds" to store items away for later use, and employs meteors as "Seeds" to send important elements back in time to set up the beginnings of new stories, so too are English's cue ball "seeds" only a means of transporting his essence from one place to the other; the black hole and the Rapture are, after all, only Skaia and the Reckoning sized up to a truly macrocosmic scale. The cue ball is able to be a font of endless knowledge because it is the "white hole" at the other end of the black hole! No information can escape a black hole, and therefore there is no information that escapes Scratch's attention -- he is limited only by his "pockets of void", which exist only to, in time, be filled, as more and more falls into these black holes like a multiversal game of billiards. Not only is this a transparent allusion to one of the most fundamental representations of the paradoxical time loop as a concept, but it is also the ultimate insult to injury: despite having lived an infinite number of lives, and being cursed to live out an infinite number more, Lord English cannot know what his fate will be until he literally falls into it. This is what forces him to lose, over and over again for eternity, while our heroes triumphantly escape Homestuck onto greener pastures.

[stevenose]

ok sorry but i MUST share the idea i have for a multi chapter fic series that i will NEVER write because i don’t function like i used to

imagine me looking like this while explaining this idea. (i am stoned)

alright okay. so imagine reader is an intern for the new york times in 1986-1987. they usually ghost write things or edit articles (idk how newspapers work!!). they’re like the lowest level employee, cannot really be called a journalist even if that’s what they’d like to be.

cue in. mr and mrs harrington. BIG donors of the times. back from when they lived in nyc (where mr harrington got his start as an attorney) (he’s well connected with many celebrities and politicians). and mr and mrs harrington (john and. idk. some milf name) are GOBSMACKED with why the global media is not talking about hawkins. the town overran by the devil! so they reach out to nyt to coax them into coming. and nyt says no for whatever reason (haven’t thought of this yet - like is the government banning the media from coming? do they just rly not care about whatever weird environmental disaster is happening? chernobyl just happened for christ sake, who gives a fuck about indiana!) and the harringtons are like “if you don’t cover what’s happening in hawkins we’ll pull our funding” (which is like a fortune, they’re like top 5 biggest donors). so nyt sends down the little intern under the guise of gaining “real world experience” but in fact they just don’t want to send an actual reporter down here.

so reader heads down, government clearances given, and they’re staying with john and miss milf while they’re in. because they offered. because they have this big house that’s been REAL LONELY the past few years. and their darling son steve is hardly around anymore! and yeah they’re a little pissed they got sent an intern but it’s better than nothing!

and you know so steve finds out there’s a fucking reporter (intern) here that has 0 understanding of what they’re getting into and they’re staying in HIS HOUSE and steve really isn’t in the business of the world knowing what’s happening. he’s in the business of keeping people safe. so he’s pissed at his parents and tries very hard to keep this lil journalist (intern) away from him and everyone he knows. like literally tries to enact a curfew and whatnot but reader is smart and it’s fucking obvious something otherworldly is happening. if they go anywhere in town they need to be escorted by guards who have GUNS and the government people (i have a way with words) they met with already told them that they have to vette anything they write. and there IS a curfew and under no circumstances can anyone go outside after dusk!

but steve always gets to sneak out after dusk so why can’t reader!

so reader trails steve and you know general hijinks ensue. and it’s like only when nancy says “wow you’re interning with the new york times that’s crazy!” that steve’s like “oh MAD RESPECT love the times i love to read about news and also current events such as the weather and sports”. some angst about how reader reminds him so much of nancy who he’s PRETTY SURE he is in love with and who he definitely misses. you know all that fun stuff. sort of an enemies to lovers slow burn if that slow burn lasted over the course of a week.

anyway bottom line: i think if they’re going to give us a steve love interest it should be a journalist who is staying in his house because his parents are dip shits and want to look nice and hospitable and steve has to try to hide all of this information for fear of his own safety, the safety of his friends, and the safety of the journalist. and then they fall in love and have smart babies.

if u even read this thank u. and godspeed