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to-the-stars8 · 2 months

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The Waynes' Nanny

Batfamily and Reader/ Bruce Wayne x Reader Chapters Ao3

The Pilot Pt. 2

Walking into the dining room, your bunny slippers pink and prominent, you stretched and yawned out a ‘hello’. It was wonderful falling asleep in a mansion, and even more so when you spent some time in the lavish bathtub attached to your room. It almost made you not want to leave to go downstairs. Yet, you knew there was a job to be done. The children commented on your colorful robe and slippers, astounded that you showed up to breakfast in such attire. Mr. Wayne seemed amused and commented as such, playfully saying that he wished he owned the same bunny slippers you did. You offered to lend them to him, and he rejected the idea.

Sitting at the table, you playfully scolded Alfred, “You should tell me these things. A simple dress for breakfast would have been fine.”

“Forgive me, Miss, I assumed you knew,” He said, slightly smiling, as he set a breakfast plate in front of you.

You shook your head, smiling at the plate of food. “I’m from downtown Gotham, Alfred. You have to assume I know nothing.” You looked around the table, watching as they looked at you with surprise. “What? I got something on my face?”

“You’re sitting at the table,” Duke said shyly.

You looked to Bruce, expecting him to say something, but he didn’t as he continued to eat his food. “Where else am I supposed to sit?”

“The kitchen,” Dick replied bluntly.

You blew him off. “That’s so old-fashioned, and I’m too social for that. Now, what’re we doing today?”

The kids told you they would need to leave the house since Mr. Wayne would be holding a charity dinner party that the children were not invited to. Not that you said it aloud, you were less than impressed by Bruce’s lack of involvement with the kids in things. So, you offered to take them to buy clothes and other things, and Mr. Wayne was happy enough to lend you his credit card. You marveled at the black American Express card, never thinking you’d see one in person—Let alone hold one.

Suddenly, Alfred re-entered the dining room to tell Mr. Wayne that Lucius Fox was on the phone for him. You got up soon after, taking your plate full of food, and told the kids that you were leaving to get dressed, happy as a clam with your new position.

—

Dick was reserved, openly hostile toward you, and didn’t like the idea that now there was even more of a reason for Bruce not to be involved. You automatically made a note to force Bruce to be more active in his kids' lives and shake the eldest's rough exterior.

So, when you arrived at the clothes shop, one your friend owned, of course, you spent more time picking out his clothes. Dick seemed like, well, a dick. He was as clever as he was spiteful and attempted to attack you at every angle. You persisted, though, while managing the other kids' wardrobes.

Dick huffed and went to sit in one of the waiting chairs on the other end of the small boutique, seething in silence. You left him there for a bit, doting on the other children who were pretty well-behaved, albeit a bit odd. Tim had been looking under the mannequins’ skirts to see if they were anatomically correct—and, you knew instantly that would be a conversation with his father.

As Duke and Jason were trying on ties, you finally looked over to the teenager brooding in the corner. You went over to him, holding up a red tie to his neck before taking the blue one from Damian’s small hands, who was on your hip, and doing the same. Dick was less than impressed.

“Blue, it compliments your eyes,” You said.

Dick huffed. “Why’re you doing this?”

“Because I think you guys should go to that dinner tonight.”

Before Dick could say that wouldn’t happen Cassandra stumbled over holding out a dress that she wanted to wear, but he wasn’t too dissuaded by that. He insisted that they wouldn’t be going to the dinner party.

Cassandra, even more clever than her older brother, nicely said, “I think the blue tie would suit you, Dickie. It brings out your eyes. It makes you super, super handsome.”

He stared at her for a moment before saying, “You’re a bitch, you know that?”

Cass smiled, turning on her heel to walk off, leaving you to scold Dick as Damian slowly became more and more irritated with your arm.

Dick only snapped at you again.

Usually, you could keep your cool, when it didn’t involve your boyfriend, but this was the last straw. “Listen here, I do not care how you feel about Bruce or anything of the sort, but I do know this; you are under my care, and you will be polite, respectful, and cut that language out when I am around.”

“Or what?”

You smiled smugly, stepping closer to Dick as you told him exactly what would happen if he did not behave.

—

The children had come home happy, Dick noticeably more so than when he left that morning, and they all boasted about the fun they had with you. Bruce found himself excited at just how well they got on with you, and surprised when the seven of you seemed to be in cahoots. This suspicion rose when he asked you about what the kids bought, but you only brushed him off—heading upstairs in a hurry as you giggled along with the little ones. Fortunately for you, Bruce didn’t dwell much on the thought as his attentions were pulled toward making the evening perfect.

And so had the party gone. It was starting perfectly. The guests were happy, dinner was being served on time, and, most importantly, the money was rolling in for the charities. Bruce stood in the doorway of the foyer and salon, where the guests were because Alfred had informed him that you needed something. Harvey, who had been in the middle of telling him something, followed him.

To his surprise, you were standing on the last landing of the staircase in a classy red dress, and he would be lying to himself as well as you if he didn’t admit that you looked stunning. Proudly looking down at him, you grinned before turning to see the kids, all dressed up, behind you.

“Who is that,” Harvey mumbled to Bruce, grinning from ear to ear.

Bruce answered, “My nanny.” When you approached, he said in a hushed tone, “I told you the children couldn’t attend.”

You acted shocked, hand going to your cheek, and said sarcastically, “Oh, my! I must be blushing.”

“You’re a dirty player,” He commented before going to his children. Bruce admired how well they all cleaned up, doting on them like he always did, before telling them to be on their most perfect behavior.

Harvey took this chance to introduce himself, and you seemed charmed. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. DA. Say, I’ve got some parking tickets that I think are pretty bogus, you think you fix those for…”

You trailed off when Bruce came back up to you, motioning all of you toward the salon, and whispering in your ear, “We’re discussing this later.”

You rolled your eyes, you would rather have fun than stress what your boss would say. The children were a hit amongst the party-goers, all of them cooing and awing at the children. You, too, were an intrigue to the guests since you were the mysterious latercomer who also happened to be beautiful. Bruce was surprised by just how well, with your downtown Gotham charms, you ran in the circles of the rich. You enthralled them with little tales of the children, some he was sure you made up, as well as wise outlooks on life (according to yourself, but the people listening took it up like catnip).

Bruce also found himself having the time of his life with his kids, joking with them, and sharing the bits of business to the best of his ability. Dick was happy that he was paying more attention to them rather than the party, even going as far as to call him ‘Dad’ rather than Bruce. And, when you had left to put Damian to bed, Dickie had told him to keep you around along with something about wanting to keep his social life intact another day.

That certainly would be something else he would need to speak to you about.

—

“Goodbye, Harvey! I’ll call you about those parking tickets,” You called out the front door as you put the small piece of paper with his number into your bra. When you turned around there was Bruce, standing there with his hands on his hips, and you thought for sure you were going to get sacked.

Before you could explain, Bruce said, “Don’t pull a stunt like that again.”

You were shocked, but not undeterred from your original task. “All I want to do is show those kids that you care about them.”

“I do care about them, and don’t need you to show that.”

You stepped forward, snickering. “I seriously doubt that. I mean, look how happy they were tonight. Why would you want to exclude them like that, Mr. Wayne?”

Bruce thinned his lips, thinking for a moment before relenting. He wasn’t sure if it was the fact that you were right or that he found the courageous glint in your eyes fairly pretty that he gave up so easily. Reluctantly, he agreed that maybe you were right and mentioned how much the kids liked you, even going as far as to offhandedly mention what Dick said.

“You can stay,” He said.

You grinned, “Good. I think you’d have a hard time getting rid of me now. I think the masses in this house might revolt.”

Bruce looked at you again before smiling. No matter how he felt, Bruce couldn’t deny one thing; That you were the perfect addition to the household.

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lightseoul · 1 year

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asymptōtos

synopsis. you needed him to meet you halfway. he couldn't.

cw. fem!reader, student-turned-worker!reader, busy prohero!katsuki, aged-up (~22 yrs old), established relationship, fluff, hurt/(may or may not have) comfort

word count. 5.8k words

The first time it happens, it leaves you more in a state of awe and adoration than worry and disappointment.

In your defense, you never thought you’d end up dating anyone in college, let alone during your very busy senior year marred by senioritis and thesis woes, but the universe decided it has other plans for you.

And so here you are, on your first date with the #2 Pro Hero, no less.

Of course, credit must be given where it is due. All of this wouldn’t have happened without the notorious meddler and your elementary best friend Ashido Mina, who took it upon herself to be Bakugou’s wing-woman during her housewarming party two weeks ago.

Not only did she serve as the pesky glue that resisted all of your attempts to stray away from Bakugou’s immediate circle, but she also later on confessed to having begged him not to delete your number that she not-so-sneakily saved in the man’s phone.

You got so embarrassed when you received your first text from him, imagining him being held at gunpoint by Mina just to send the darned message. You contemplated not replying to save the poor guy but decided against it. You’re glad you did, though, because he ended up surprising you with his responsiveness and consistency, resulting in daily texts until he finally asked you out on a date.

In a very roundabout way, too:

Maybe we can find out what the hell your problem is over dinner sometime.

Which brings you to the present, post-said dinner, seated on one of the benches in a park you’ve never heard of until now, admiring the view.

“I’ve never done this before.”

Your head whips to look at Bakugou, surprised at his sudden statement. Things have been silent since you left the sushi restaurant.

Well, until now.

“What—go out on a date?” you joke, meaning to lighten the mood.

At that, he visibly reddens, and looks away.

“Dumbass,” he mutters under his breath.

Shit.

“I’m sorry,” you start, “I just thought—you being you—you’d have far more experience than I have.”

You can see him hesitating before looking you right in the eyes, “Wow.”

“What?”

He shrugs, “This is the first time someone’s referred to my being ‘me’ as a compliment.”

“Really?”

He merely gives you a firm nod. You can tell he’s trying to be cool about it, despite how much vulnerability this topic is requiring out of him.

You sigh, shaking your head, “Well, that’s bullshit.”

His voice is quiet when he replies. “...Ya think so?”

“Yeah,” you smile at him, “I mean, I like you. Being Bakugou Katsuki should make you proud.”

You don’t realize the carelessness of your comment until you see his eyes widen in shock. Yours follow suit upon realization, “I mean–”

“Yeah–”

“I didn’t–”

He interrupts, “Don’t worry. I get what ya mean.”

You could only stare at each other in astonishment until you look away in embarrassment.

Fuck.

You’re about to change the subject in the hopes of clearing the air and replacing the awkward silence that has befallen the two of you when you feel a feather of a touch graze your pinky.

You hold your breath in anticipation—willing your palm’s sweat glands to magically close in case Bakugou’s making a move to hold your hand—but that’s when it happens.

A piercing wail echoes throughout the park, and you both rip your hands away from each other.

Embarrassed (Bakugou), confused (you), and alarmed (both), you whip your heads towards the source, only to find a crying kid and who seems to be his father crouched down, frantically shushing him.

You narrow your eyes, trying to figure out what’s the matter from your spot on the bench.

“Kid’s dumb cat got stuck in that tree,” Bakugou points with his right hand, and sure enough, an orange Tabby cat is perched comfortably on the sakura tree near where the kid and his father are standing.

How he managed to figure out the problem in a millisecond is beyond you, but you couldn’t spare a single moment to marvel at his hero senses because Bakugou’s now standing up, palms cracking with mini-explosions.

He sighs heavily, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d say he was annoyed.

Whatever scowl he might’ve had on his face is schooled into a neutral expression when he turns back to tell you to give him a second.

You nod, too stunned to speak, and the explosions on his palms begin to heighten in degree. He starts toward the direction of the civilians, before hesitating in his steps.

“What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head, back still turned towards you.

“...For the record,” he looks up to the cat still balanced expertly on the tree’s branches, possibly to avoid your gaze for what he’s about to say next.

“I like you, too.”

The second time it happens…is a bit different. It wasn’t like you weren’t aware this sort of thing was coming. On the contrary, you anticipated it, knowing full well what you were getting yourself into the moment you agreed to become Bakugou’s girlfriend.

But expecting and dress-rehearsing for pain doesn’t make it any less wounding once the actual thing does roll around.

It was your graduation day, and everything was going swimmingly. Bakugou got to officially introduce himself as your boyfriend to your parents while you were waiting for the ceremony to begin.

He didn’t want to admit it, but just by his body language alone, you could tell he was fucking nervous.

(Later on, during dinner, he’d whisper to you how he barely got any sleep the night before. Who was the one graduating between the two of you, again?)

Your parents’ reception of him was favorable, thanks to the briefer you gave them about his media presence not at all being an accurate depiction of the real thing. Your father tossed you a somewhat withering look after the encounter, but you chose to let it go. You weren’t going to let anyone rain on your parade today.

By all accounts, everything was going great. At the end of the program, everyone who you wanted to be present was there congratulating you, giving you bouquets of flowers, and taking pictures for remembrance’s sake.

After bidding goodbye to your college peers, you then headed to your favorite high-end restaurant to celebrate, where you sit now, listening in amusement as Bakugou gets grilled by your family and friends.

“So, Bakugou-san,” your mother continues, “what do you like about our Y/N?”

“Mom!”

Needless to say, you didn’t expect to be dragged into the grilling session.

Your mother only looks at you like you’re the one who’s lost your marbles. To your left, you can hear Bakugou snicker under his breath. You elbow his side in retaliation.

“What? You can’t expect me not to ask him that.”

“Yeah,” your cousin chimes in from the end of the elongated table, “we’re curious.”

You glare at her, “Shut it, C/N.”

“Y/N!,” your mother exclaims, “Don’t be rude.”

You could only pout in response while Bakugou clears his throat beside you, and you find yourself anticipating his response despite the circumstances.

“Well, she’s the most caring person I know,” he eyes you, and you can’t help but look away, feeling bashful under his gaze. “And is incredibly sharp, and she makes me feel understood and appreciated.”

Squeals and cheers erupt from the table, and you laugh in embarrassment at his words and everyone else’s reactions.

Bakugou pinches your thigh to catch your attention, “What?”

You snort, “You’re so cheesy.”

He smirks, “Says the one blushing.”

You don’t have the heart to tell him he’s sporting redness on his cheeks the same way he’s saying you are. You can’t help but grin in response.

The noise dies down upon hearing your father clear his throat, “Bakugou-san, what do you do for a living, again?”

You internally roll your eyes. On the outside, though, you look at Bakugou, who straightens his posture at your father’s questioning.

“I’m a Pro Hero, sir.”

Your father hums in acknowledgment, “You’re Pro Hero…Dynamight?”

“Yes, sir.”

Everyone’s silent as you watch the tense conversation unfold before you.

“You face a lot of danger in your line of work, then?”

Bakugou remains unwavering as he goes through the kind of questioning that would otherwise annoy him, “Yes, sir. But we’ve undergone extensive training and immersions to be able to handle them accordingly.”

This time, your father only grunts in reply, returning to his plate of Grilled Akita Beef Sirloin as if he hadn’t just interrogated a guy. In the corner of your eye, you see Bakugou deflate, from relief or disappointment, you can’t tell.

“Anyway, Bakugou-san,” your mother interjects in an attempt to salvage the conversation, “what’s it like having a job of a Pro Hero? Nobody in our family took that career path, you see.”

“Well, I—”

He barely gets two words out when All Might’s voice comes booming throughout the entire restaurant, and you see Bakugou lose his cool and scramble for his phone to turn it off. Everyone’s eyes are bugged out, probably reeling from the fact that the #2 Pro Hero has such a corny ringtone.

“Sorry,” he blurts out. You chance a peek at the caller ID, which reads ‘Deku’, and you look up to see the frustration in Bakugou’s eyes.

Despite yourself, a sense of worry settles in your stomach. Midoriya never calls Bakugou unless it’s something important, and he’d already been informed about Bakugou being MIA for tonight. Surely he’s not calling for nothing…

“Who was that?” Your mother asks.

Bakugou presses the lock button on his phone and pockets it. “Sorry—it was just a colleague,” he frowns, “I don’t know why they’re contacting me, I already filed a leave for today.”

“Well, if it’s nothing important, I guess we–”

The ringtone, once again, floods the entire room, but this time you urge him to take it as he tosses you and everyone else an apologetic look.

“Sorry. Please excuse me.”

With that, he stands up and heads towards the corner of the restaurant, leaving you with the rest of your family and friends in silence.

“He seems nice,” your cousin offers, and you shoot them a look of gratitude.

“Are you sure about him, Y/N?” your other cousin asks, and you can’t help but freeze upon hearing the question. “Dating a Pro Hero doesn’t seem like easy business.”

“I bet it isn’t,” your father adds gruffly.

You’re about to spit out the best defense in history when Bakugou rushes toward your side, although he doesn’t sit back down. You brace yourself for what’s about to come next.

“That was Pro Hero Deku—there’s been a sighting in the Chofu district of this high-profile villain we’ve been tracking down for weeks,” he fixes his gaze onto you, “And they need both top heroes on the field, ASAP.”

You spring onto your feet with no hesitation, “Okay, but be careful, Katsuki.”

He nods, “Of course.”

With that, he faces everyone else and bows, “I apologize for having to leave early. I hope you enjoy the rest of your meal.”

He doesn’t wait for their responses, attention now shifted back to you.

“Congratulations again, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head, forcing a smile on your face in the hopes of easing his worries. He bends down to kiss your forehead, shooting you an apologetic look before excusing himself for the last time and heading for the exit.

You hold onto that congenial smile plastered across your face as your eyes trace his disappearing figure. Once he’s gone, you go back to your seat and will yourself to meet the eyes of those around you.

You see the all-too-familiar worried look on your mother’s face, while your cousins and friends have their eyes down on their plates. Your father, on the other hand, has the same withering look he’s been wearing around you and Bakugou the entire day.

“I bet it isn’t,” your father mutters under his breath, but you heard him clearly.

The third time it happens, it hits closer to home than you expect it to.

After a flurry of important firsts with Bakugou, as well as major life changes that have gotten you breaking down more often than you’d like to admit, your birthday finally rolls around.

As you’ve gotten older, birthdays have indubitably become more mundane. Nevertheless, you went ahead and took the day off of your new job as recruitment personnel in Mirko’s agency, not to celebrate it in crazy ways but in the hopes of spending the entirety of it at home with Bakugou.

Ever since you landed your first job, time spent with your boyfriend has become more and more negligible, with schedule conflicts and inflexibilities of work commitments barring you from seeing each other.

Today was no different.

You wake up to the scent of Bakugou and his citrus body soap, who, as per your request, spent the night prior in your apartment. When you reach out to his side of the bed, though, you’re met with cold emptiness, and your heart sinks in disappointment upon the realization that he’d left.

You at least wanted a good morning kiss for your birthday.

Half awake and reaching blindly for your phone, you bring it up to eye level and check your messages.

It’s only 9:07 AM and your inbox is already flooded with greetings, but none of them is Bakugou’s. Instead, the one text message from him reads:

Hey. Sorry I had to leave early, got some agency-wide meeting Shitty-hair and I are presiding today or something. See you when I get home.

Despite yourself, you deflate at his lack of acknowledgment of your birthday. You shake your head, feeling the ugly emotion of hurt creeping up your spine. Instead, you choose to focus on the fact that he just called your apartment home. Besides, he’s probably just busy right now, you think to yourself. He’ll remember later.

He didn’t remember.

At least, as of 11:45 PM, he hasn’t.

You were still optimistic about things when the day started, going around the house—cleaning to soothe your racing mind, as well as opening the gifts your friends and family had sent to your apartment. By the time lunch rolled around, you had food delivered from your favorite restaurant, which you happily devoured while rewatching a comfort film.

Now and then, you’d thumb at your phone to check if Bakugou’s messaged you a greeting or an update, only to be met with messages and notifications that were the least of your concern.

You lost count of how many times you’ve sighed in discontent, restless for the moment he comes home and proves to you that he absolutely, positively, certainly, hasn’t forgotten.

But before you know it, it’s already 11:45 PM and he still hasn’t walked through your doorway—the last you’ve heard of him being the one text message he left you this morning.

You’re staring blankly at the dinner you’ve prepared for the two of you, devoid of any more expectations, when the door finally clicks open at 11:47 PM and he stumbles in, decked out in his hero costume and visibly exhausted.

“Oh, you’re still awake.”

He seems stunned to see you.

“Patrol went overtime,” he curtly explains as he toes off his boots, “I’m fucking beat.”

You only stare at him from your position on the couch, eyes following his figure as he marches towards the bedroom, possibly to wash off the day’s dirt and grime, barely sparing you a second glance.

“Hey, babe,” Bakugou calls out from the bedroom, who, from the sounds and smell of it, has already come out of the shower.

You hear a rustling noise, “What’s with all these fuckin’ wrappers? Is it your birthday or some shi–”

He falls silent as realization dawns on him, and you shut your eyes in dreadful anticipation. Earlier, when you were still fired up with the day’s anger, you thought you could handle this confrontation (if he ever realized what day it was), but you might’ve overestimated yourself.

Because now, you’re on the couch, hugging your knees and feeling completely pathetic as you hear his footsteps get closer and louder.

Suddenly, your face to face with Bakugou Katsuki, who’s kneeling to peer at you.

And he looks absolutely guilty.

“Y/N, I am so sorry—”

You shake your head. That shuts him up.

“I’m not in the mood for apologies, Katsuki,” you start, “I’m—I’m not mad at you for not having prepared or set aside anything.”

Swallowing the ball in your throat, you press on, “I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and I understand.”

He eagerly nods. You sniff to help hold back the tears that are threatening to spill out, and Bakugou’s hand shoots up to cradle your face in response.

You let him.

“I’m just…” you look down, unable to meet his eye, “disappointed, Katsuki.”

You will yourself to look at him again, “I figured you’d at least remember what today was.”

“Fuck,” he warbles, and now you’re both crying, “I’m sorry, princess. I…”

He trails off, and some twisted part of you is thankful for it. You already know what was going to come out of his mouth—either their staff was a pain in the ass today and he had to step in, or a villain came around to stir shit up, resulting in overtime and him not having the time or energy for anything else.

This way, he could spare both of you the excuses that have seemed to etch themselves onto the tapestry that is your relationship.

��Let me make it up to you,” he says instead.

You don’t know how he plans to do that, but at this point, you’re too tired and hurt to ask or fight back. You gingerly nod your head in agreement.

And with that, he lifts you and carries you into the bedroom, all the while trailing soft, almost hesitant, kisses at the expanse of your neck.

He lays you down gently on the bed, and he climbs on top of you, hovering, until he has his forearms at both sides of your head.

You find yourself melting under the intensity of his loving, albeit guilty gaze.

“Happy birthday, Y/N,” Bakugou whispers, before diving in for a scalding kiss.

And make it up to you, he did.

The day after your birthday, he files for a leave in his agency, as well as cashes in Mirko’s favor from when he saved her ass in a past mission together, successfully giving you an extra paid leave for the day.

He ends up taking you out to a fancy soba restaurant recommended by Todoroki, and to an exhibit you’ve been wanting to see for the longest time, but haven’t gotten around to due to the ungodly wait (thanks to his Pro Hero card, though, you were able to get special passes).

And, it was at the end of that art exhibit when Bakugou pulls you into a private room and tells you he loves you for the first time.

Needless to say, you were over the moon.

But as a great author once said, one can’t undo the pain one caused. One can only atone for it.

Despite yourself, a seed of unease takes shelter and grows inside of you.

The fourth time it happens, it finally escalates into a full-blown fight.

It was a Saturday night, and you were enjoying a nice, stay-in dinner with Bakugou in his penthouse. By some miracle, he was able to take the night off despite the busyness that came with December and the looming holiday season.

“Stop staring at me,” he had said while expertly chopping the assortment of vegetables you bought fresh from the market earlier that day.

You grinned at him, “Not my fault you look sexy when you’re cooking.”

“Shut up, dumbass,” he retorted, but there was no bite to it. If you knew any better, you’d say he was blushing. “Now come help me with this.”

And that, you did. More like fumbled around his luxurious kitchen while he took the lead, but you tried your best. Which brings you to now: you, seated across from Bakugou at his corner coffee table, overlooking the city skyline.

“Eat,” he commands.

You happily indulge him.

Scooping a spoonful of the imoni stew he graciously prepared for you, you bring it to your mouth, all the while not breaking eye contact.

“Mmmm!” you exclaim the second the flavors explode in your mouth, “this is so good!”

He only smirks in response, but you can tell he’s pleased with himself with the way his chest puffs up with pride, “Don’t talk with your mouth full, idiot.”

You giggle at how his words juxtapose the way his tone sounds so smitten. Hastily chewing the cabbage, you regard him after you swallow, “Right, you said you wanted to tell me something?”

At that, he visibly stiffens, and your stomach drops, feeling a shot of dread replace the elation that’s been coursing through your blood ever since the night began.

“Yeah,” he starts, “I’ve been thinking…”

“Yes?” you mentally slap yourself at how nervous you sounded.

He looks you dead in the eye, “And I think it’s about time we move in together.”

You can’t believe your ears.

That’s not what you were expecting him to say.

“What?”

“You heard me,” he places his utensils back on the table, “Think about it, we’ve been dating for almost a year now, and my place is closer to the agency and Mirko’s.”

He shrugs, “And we rarely see each other these days. I figured we can solve that by having you move in with me.”

You try to laugh, but it comes out stilted, “Don’t get me wrong—I’d love to move in with you, Katsuki.” At that, he deflates in what you think is relief.

“But I have to ask—what prompted this? We’ve never talked about living together before.”

He looks down at his clenched fists on the table, and you can’t help how your body tenses in anticipation of the worst.

“This has nothing to do with asking you to move in with me,” he starts, “but there’s another thing I have to tell you.”

Your voice comes out meek when you reply, “What is it?”

“I got chosen to go on a very important solo mission.”

What’s the caveat? your mind immediately conjures the thought. Instead, you say, “Really? That’s awesome, Kats. Congratulations!”

He flashes you a grim smile, “Thanks.”

You force yourself to smile back, chuckling, “But?”

At your utterance of the three-letter word, he sighs, smile now erased from his face, “It’s overseas. Estimated to take about two months.”

You stay silent, just staring at him. He takes this as a sign to drop the last bomb.

“It starts next week.”

At that, you spring onto your feet, “Seriously? Do you even know what you’re gonna miss?”

He follows suit, “Of course! Shit—I’m not a fucking idiot,” he looks to the side in frustration, “I know, and I’m sorry, but this isn’t something I can just pass up.”

The snarky rebut of ‘It actually is’ dies in your throat when the fact of how much being the best matters to Bakugou crosses your mind.

“...But you promised me you’d spend the holidays with my family.” Your tone is quiet now, in stark contrast to earlier. You don’t even get started on the two-month absence.

He huffs, “I know. But I—”

“I’m sorry Katsuki,” you look down in shame, unwilling to look him in the eye, “and I know this is unfair of me, but I just can’t help but feel like you’re choosing your career over me.”

“But this mission could possibly make me number one,” he pleads, “Over shitty Deku, Y/N.”

You can practically hear the pain in his voice when he murmurs the next few words: “Number one.”

You shake your head in resignation—you know where this is going. You’ve gone through the motions of these arguments a hundred times before.

You’re fighting a losing battle.

“I know.”

At your quiet affirmation of his reasoning, Bakugou circles the table and wraps his arms around you, albeit cautiously. Tightening his hold on you, he whispers a soft thank you, and you feel your heart clenching in pain at how awkward and distant he feels despite being so close to you.

You have the urge to ask him if he only asked you to move in with him to soften the blow of what he was going to say next, but you hold your tongue. The last thing you want is for you to go on your separate ways for two months while in the middle of a fight.

You did end up going back to your hometown for the holidays, although with one less companion. Having to answer your family about Bakugou’s whereabouts was a huge pain, with you eventually resorting to terse responses the more times the question got reiterated.

Your family got so involved in the state of your relationship, with your father dropping I told you so’s ever so often that you finally decided you’ve had enough on the night of Christmas, and resolved to leave for Tokyō the next day.

You were planning to just spend the rest of the holidays in your apartment (you never got around to moving into Katsuki’s home), and wallow in your sadness over your relationship, but fortunately (or unfortunately), you ended up going out of your unit to spend New Year’s at Mina’s instead.

You note the profound role her persistence has played in your life.

Fast forward to now, with you having stepped out of the crowded party in her living room and onto the balcony, grateful for the cool, night breeze.

You hear the sliding door creak open behind you, and you don’t need to look over your shoulder to see who it is.

Footsteps pitter-patter against the floor until you find Mina standing there at your right, uncharacteristically quiet.

You don’t want to hear any comforting words about Bakugou’s absence, so you speak ahead, “Thanks, Mina.”

Her head whips to look at you, and she smiles warmly, “For what?”

“For inviting me to celebrate here,” you will yourself to smile back, “I think I needed this.”

She wraps an arm around your shoulders and squeezes you, “Of course. I—uh,”

She pauses, and you look over at her expectantly, “You what?”

She slowly lets you go and fully turns towards you, the ledge supporting her body weight as she leans into it. A serious expression now adorns her face.

“Just that…I’m not the one you should be thanking.”

You mirror her stance, facing her and narrowing your eyes, “What do you mean?”

She sighs, “Don’t tell him, but Bakugou’s actually the one who told me to check in on you.”

You take a step back from her in surprise (or hurt, you’re not sure—the emotions you’ve been feeling these days have been nothing but complex), but Mina’s quick to step forward and grab your hands, holding it in hers.

“He sounded really sorry about having to leave you alone for the holidays, you know.”

You feel the pinprick of tears at Mina’s words, bringing you to look down at your feet as a means of hiding your sadness from your best friend, even if you know that barely conceals how you’re feeling.

“Come here,” she ushers you in for a gentle embrace.

And you do.

You both stand there for what feels like an eternity, with her rubbing small circles on your back and you crying silently on her shoulder.

“He really loves you, you know,” she whispers, after a long pause, “Eiji and I have talked about it with the rest of our friends—we all agree how it’s practically clear as day.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, and allow yourself to bask in the gravity of Mina’s words.

“I know.”

The fifth time it happens, you astound yourself with your lack of resistance.

While Bakugou was out in the US for his solo mission, you decided it was the perfect time to put in the extra effort in your own work.

Whether it was to make something of yourself or to distract yourself from the loneliness that came with Bakugou’s absence, it didn’t matter. The bottom line was you finally had something to work towards, and it felt good.

You’ve been eyeing this promotion to be the Recruitment Lead in Mirko’s hero agency for over three months now, with the deliberation process taking longer than you’d like, only for it to end with you falling short of the other candidate.

You clench your fists at the thought of having received the news earlier that day.

Insecure and dismayed, you’ve been waiting for Bakugou to come home so you can tell him about it. It’s gonna have to be a long story, seeing as you haven’t even gotten around to telling him about wanting the promotion in the first place. In anticipation of the conversation, you stocked up on his favorite snacks and drinks.

Finally, at 8:54 PM, you hear the lock open with a click.

You rush to the entryway of your now-shared home, and flash him an inviting smile, “Welcome home.”

He’s in his regular clothes, having stripped himself of the grime and dirt back in the agency. Good, you think to yourself, you’ll have more time with him like this.

You’re about to ask him if he’s eaten dinner and if he can spend the night talking when he practically, and unceremoniously, collapses on top of you.

You’re agile enough with your arms shooting up to help carry his body weight, clutching his waist and arm to keep you both steady.

“Katsuki?” you squeak.

He only burrows his nose in your neck and huffs, “I’m fuckin’ exhausted. Let’s go to bed, please?”

You can’t help but ache at the sight and sound of you Katsuki beaten to exhaustion like this. So, like the good partner that you are, you nod in affirmation and assist him as you walk to the bedroom, and help him out of his clothes until he’s left in nothing but his boxers.

Now lying on the bed and under the covers, he holds his arm out open for you.

His voice is low and rough: “C’mere.”

And you do.

You climb into bed next to him, settling into his side as a muscled arm drapes across your waist.

You look up at his face, and a part of you hopes his eyes are still open and twinkling with invitation.

For conversation. For intimacy.

For anything.

But you’re only met with the peaceful, sleeping face of your lover.

That was the fifth time it happened.

And the last.

“Is there any reason you dragged me out of my pajamas to come here at–,” he checks his phone, “8:14 PM?”

You ignore Bakugou’s incredulous question, choosing instead to look around the view of the park from the bench where you’re both seated.

You glance at him, all in his bedhead and glasses-wearing glory. He had a long day, as per usual, having arrived home thirty minutes after 7 PM, but you had to have this conversation sooner than later.

“You seriously don’t remember this place?”

“‘Course I do,” he says in a heartbeat. “This is where I took you out on your best first fucking date ever.”

You snort, “That was yours.”

He sits up and scowls at you, offended, “Fuck that shit. That was both of ours.”

You laugh, unable to tease him any longer, “It was. You even flexed your hero skills to me and all.”

He slinks back into the bench, huffing as he crosses his arms over his chest, “Damn straight.”

You roll your eyes, “Show off.”

He snickers, “Simp.”

You shake your head, trying to fight off the grin that’s spreading across your face. Now was not the time for flirty banter. Not with what you’re about to tell him…

“But really, though,” Bakugou pipes up after a few minutes of silence, “what’s up?”

You can tell he’s trying to sound more playful than he usually does. Still, there’s an air of tense anticipation surrounding the both of you, and it’s been there since you asked two weeks ago if he could clear out tonight’s schedule, as you had something important to say.

Here goes nothing.

You exhale, albeit quite shakily, and close your eyes.

“I can’t do this anymore, Katsuki. I’m sorry.”

Your eyes flutter open to see him holding his breath, visibly on guard.

Bakugou’s smart. You’re sure he knows what you’re talking about, if not because of his intelligence but of the way he gulps nervously, no matter how imperceptible that was.

But he still retorts with, “You can’t do what anymore?”

You gesture vaguely at the distance between the two of you. That’s only been growing in the past few months.

“This. Us.”

You heave in a deep, shaky breath, refusing to look at him. He takes your hand into his.

“I can’t bear it anymore. Forcing you to choose between your hero work and me.”

You chance a glance at your Katsuki, and he’s staring at you, eyes brimming with tears and with such intensity that knocks your breath away.

Still, you march on. You have to get this out of your system before you chicken out.

“It hurts me to make you choose. Especially knowing how much you love what you do and how much you’re needed by other people.”

You try to swallow the lump in your throat, but you still end up choking, “But I need you, too, Kats.”

“And, I can’t keep on getting disappointed and hurt like this every time I don’t get chosen.”

At that, you finally let the tears you’ve been holding onto fall down your cheeks, “It’s all too much.”

A part of you still hoped he’d hop onto his feet in protest and beg for you to stay with him and proclaim how he’ll try harder, despite knowing, more or less, that no objections will pour out of his mouth.

True enough, Bakugou remains silent, like the tears that quietly drip down onto his clenched fists.

Because deep down, he knew.

He knew, from the very beginning.

Before he even decided to keep your number. Before he plucked up the courage to send you that first text. Before he sucked it up and asked you out on that first date.

He knew—that no matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t meet you halfway.

tagging. @katsukis1wife

extra credits. katsuki's first date line (tweet). quote about atonement.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou imagines #bnha imagines #mha imagines #bnha scenarios #mha scenarios #mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #bakugou angst #bakugo x reader #HSJAHSJAHSAJ i hope yall like this T____T #i wrote this in two days and significantly hurt myself in the process #i love and hate angst

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jade-muffins · 9 months

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Mechanical Minds AU

(A fnaf au)

Prologue

"Collect as many as you can, but make sure not to hurt each other, now!" The man in the golden rabbit mascot suit said as at least a dozen children scrambled to pick up a load of tokens that had been scattered about. He had to jump back with a small yelp as children went running past his feet.

"Um...excuse me, Mr. Bonnie?" The man in the mascot suit looked down to see a small boy with with brown hair and green eyes staring up at him. He was fidgeting with the end of his shirt. "Can I have a photo with you?" He asked quietly. He couldn't have been any older than what, 7?

"Oh, of course!" The golden rabbit responded cheerfully. The boy's eyes lit up.

"Go on, Jeremy!" His mother nodded. The boy, known as Jeremy, actually smiled, but still approached rather shyly. Standing next to him, the golden rabbit, with the permanent grin of the mask, put a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder and put up a hand as if he were waving. His mother snapped her photo, just happy to see the bright smile of joy on her son's face. The boy ran up to her, excitedly asking to see the photo. She laughed and looked to the mascot. "Thank you! Jeremy, say thank you to the bunny."

"Thank you, Bonnie!" Jeremy grinned and waved as he held his mom's hand, both of them making their way to the small arcade.

"Any time!" The man said joyfully and waved back. He glanced at the clock. 12:30 PM. He gave a long sigh. Break time.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○

"Rowdy bunch today, William?"

"Bloody wild!" The man, William, laughed as he set the head of the golden rabbit mascot suit down on the safe room table. "I tell you, Henry, they were practically piling on top of each other to get to those tokens!" He exclaimed as he started to carefully take the rest of the suit off. "I was surprised they didn't start trying to knock each other out!"

"Well....kids can be cutthroat," Henry shrugged with a little chuckle of his own.

"I guess so...." William sighed. As he finished taking the suit off, he had been carefully assembling it again. Clicking a button near the back of the rabbits head set off a loud click. It leaned forward before opening its eyes. It's green eyes lit up as it looked at William and Henry.

"Oh Mr. Afton, did you see how happy we made him?" The animatronic practically jumped to its feet, joy in his tone. "He was so shy but he was so excited when he finally got the photo!"

"Your friendly appearance most certainly helped," William smiled.

"Aw, thank you, Mr. Afton, but you're the one who designed and created me! The credit goes to you!" The animatronic says, almost bowing.

"Sheesh, you're making me think I should implement an advanced AI in Fredbear too," Henry laughs. "It certainly seems to be working in Spring Bonnie."

"I'd never shy away from sharing some of my techniques with you, Henry. If this system works in both Spring Bonnie AND Fredbear, I think this could be the start of a new chapter!" William says with a spark of ambition in his eyes. "We'd be the pinnacle of robotics and entertainment for our time! My Spring Bonnie and your Fredbear as the faces of it...."

Henry grinned at his friend's enthusiasm. "Alright, I see where you're coming from...but I think we still need to take it a bit easy. I'm all for moving forward, but there's a difference between recklessness and a good steady pace," he cautioned him, though lightly.

"I'm just saying, it could advance our careers! We'd surpass our competitors! Like Remy's..." A look of distaste came across his face.

"William, they have three restaurants. That's only one more than us," Henry pointed out.

"I know, I know....but bears are more cuddly and inviting than rats, just saying...." William shrugged, putting his hands up. They were interrupted by a knock at the door. William answered. "Oh, Christopher! What's the matter?"

"Nothing much," the young blonde, roughed-up-looking employee shrugged. "Just that your kid and his friends are climbing on arcade machines again."

William didn't need to think long. He gave a long sigh. "Michael?"

"Yeah I think so. It's not the one that cries all the time, he's the loud one with the gray tank top and fox mask."

"Definitely Michael," William murmured, a new exhaustion in his tone. "I'll go take care of him, but in the meantime, Spring Bonnie you are free to return to the stage and Henry...." he turned back to them. "I'm not your boss, do as you wish," he said with a small smile.

"Right away, sir!" Spring Bonnie replied, already ready to go. Henry just gave a smile and nodded.

"I might follow behind. Wouldn't be surprised if Charlotte is watching from the side for entertainment."

"Alright then, let us go," William started, fixing his tie and walking out the door.

#fnaf #fnaf au #William Afton #Spring Bonnie #Henry Emily #Michael Afton #(okay ig he's mentioned)#William Afton fnaf #Henry Emily fnaf #Michael Afton fnaf #Fnaf Mechanical Minds AU #Mechanical Minds AU #I don't think Christopher will get his own tag cuz he's basically a minor character oc

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alfairy · 7 months

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So! I finally saw the fnaf movie! And I’ve got many thoughts about it!!! Here’s my review and random reactions and thoughts about it. Spoilers for the movie under the cut. Proceed with caution!

I thought it was really good! Definitely wasn’t perfect but I had a lot of fun watching it! My mom was with me, and she doesn’t really know anything about fnaf but she also enjoyed it. I didn’t really get scared at any point during the movie (I was more scared by the horror trailers they played before it started haha), but that’s fine! Maybe I’m just immune to jumpscares.

The effects!!! All the animatronics looked so good in motion, and the sound design made them feel even more real. Every heavy metallic movement or blink of an eye, it was just perfect.

There are sooooo many Easter Eggs! Sparky the dog! Ella from the books as a prototype circus baby spring lock suit!

The soundtrack slapped, especially the opening credits. Blumhouse was cooking in the music department fr 🔥🔥🔥

BLANKET FORT SCENE! EVERYONE CHILLING TOGETHER ON THE FLOOR AND BEING FRIENDS! I wish they could’ve stayed friends like that, it was my favorite scene of the whole movie and was so sweet

I heard everyone say there was a matpat cameo but I didn’t see it? Either I somehow missed it or the theater cut the scene or something? I SWEAR I didn’t see this man or hear him say his iconic line. I did have to get up at one point to use the bathroom really quick, so many that’s when I missed it.

Coryxkenshins cameo! I love that guy, he did really good for his quick scenes! I think they should make him a reoccurring character actually. Have him run over springtrap in the next movie.

Also the aunt character was evil. But like, comically evil. She hires people to break into the restaurant to make Mike look bad so she can get custody of Abby and get the government paychecks for it. And she got murdered in Mikes house by Golden Freddy, and they never resolve that??? Last we see her she’s lying dead on the floor and then the last scene with Mike and Abby they’re happily eating spaghetti at home like their aunt wasn’t murdered in the living room lmao. And we know Vanessa couldn’t have covered for them because she’s in a coma soooooooo. 🤷‍♀️

The coolest kill was when Freddy bit that girl in half and her bottom half fell onto the floor like DANG! The rest of the kills they either cut away from or don’t really show detail, which I thing is a weak point. Next movie I think they should push it a little bit further, but I understand why they shot it the way they did.

Is this a good time to admit that I’m kinda down bad for Josh Hutcherson in this thing hhahghshdh 😳🫣 boy stopping looking at me with them big sad doe eyes

Matthew Lillard was also serving cunt in this, even though he got 10 minutes of screen time 😔 he gave it his all. Hopefully if we get a sequel he gets to do Springtrap stuff.

Mike during this whole movie be like: 😴. I’m surprised it took so long for the band to attack him in real life (dream sequences don’t count) when in literally every other scene he’s popping pills and taking naps. He naps every few scenes and yet looks like he hasn’t had a good nights rest in 30 years 😭

So… Garret isn’t one of the spirits? I would’ve thought he was Golden Freddy but he’s not…. Maybe in this universe Garret is the puppet? There was a hidden message in the end credits that says COME FIND ME and the puppet music box is playing. That seems to be what theyre trying to set up for a potential sequel, but…. That’d make me a little sad tbh, this is Charlie erasure ;-; Also can we please have Henry Emily do something for once in this franchise, WHERE is this man.

The finale was cool! When Spring Bonnie walked in everyone was like “YESSS!!!” And after he started talking my mom was like “😯 I think I know who it is!”

William smacked Mike so hard he did a damn triple flip through the air and got his ass knocked out cold. Mans him so hard that it probably sent him back to the bite of 83 💀💀💀

So. The big thing. No Michael Afton in the movie. In fact, Vanessa is William’s only child.

Honestly I’m kinda down for the strange role swap that this universe has going on. I don’t think anyone expected Vanessa to be Williams daughter, but that was cool, and it gives a little insight as to how William managed to get away with this for so long. He’s literally got a kid in the police force keeping tabs on Freddys and covering his tracks for him. Now it suddenly makes sense why in the trailers Vanessa seems so knowledgeable about the animatronics and already knows they’re possessed.

Tbh I had a random thought. If Vanessa gets to take over Mikes role in this world as Williams kid, then Mike should get to have his own “reluctant follower” villain arc. Put that man in a rabbit costume. It’s only fair. Equality 😤 ✊

And with those final thoughts…. Yeah! I’d say the movie was a solid 8.5/10 for me, I’ll probably go see it again with friends when they get off work this weekend! The critics are wrong yet again, it’s a perfectly enjoyable movie and the fans will love it.

#fnaf movie spoilers #fnaf spoilers

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thesoftboiledegg · 2 years

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Dinnertime for the Rick stans. Yummy yum. I love fanservice, yummy yum yum.

Another great episode for season six. This has really been Rick's season so far, huh? Season five leaned that way (he even got an entire episode to himself, which was unheard of at the time), but season six is just like "Yeah, Rick stans, we're just going to give you what you want."

I suspected that this episode wouldn't have a B-plot because I'm not sure how much excitement the writers could wring out of the Smiths going to the zoo, lol. I think that would've detracted from the main plot. Also, it's nice to have a "straightforward" episode once in a while instead of one that bounces back and forth between different characters. This episode makes the most out of twenty minutes.

Still, I hope the next episode focuses on Rick and Morty because this season is in dire need of their dynamic. When I watched the end credits scene, I thought "Finally, Morty has something to do." He and Rick are great characters on their own, but the show doesn't click without both of them.

But yeah, the crew knew exactly what they were doing with that suit, lol. I half-expected it to be a thirty-second gag and was pleasantly surprised when he wore it for most of the episode (lmao why do I care so much? I'm a lesbian. But he looks so cute in it!) It's to the point that his suit jacket magically reappeared in the next scene after he dropped it on the floor during the fight. (Well, I guess he could have picked it up.)

Honestly, I also raised an eyebrow at the fight scene. One second in particular gave me "Look at how his lithe body twists 😏" vibes, especially with the angle. Also, how tall was that bodyguard? He was taller than Rick!

Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but eh...I don't think I am. I get the impression that Rick fuckers have entered the writers' room.

Anyway, I was hoping we'd get to see how Rick and Jerry's dynamic has changed after Rick said in Bethic Twinstinct that he got drunk with Jerry one night, gave him the "pillbug protocol" that he wanted and got matching tattoos. This episode was the perfect follow-up.

It was surreal to watch Rick being nice to Jerry. He wasn't even THAT cold and distant with him. Did Rick even really have a reason to help him? He could've let Jerry just have sex with his mom and then mocked him for the rest of his life. Seasons 1-4 Rick would've cracked his shit up at that.

Once, Rick berated and humiliated Jerry at every turn. Now, he carries him through the air duct with a tentacle even though Jerry literally could have just climbed the ladder behind him. He sighs and rolls his eyes sometimes but helps Jerry throughout the episode without pitching a fit. No "Oh my God, Jerry, I'm only saving your stupid ass because my daughter inexplicably likes you!"

This COULD be out of character, but I don't think it was. It's another demonstration of how much Rick's growing and changing. The episode even explained the "human shield" gag from the trailer, which I assumed was the usual joke about how Rick hates Jerry so much that he's willing to let him die. He just did that because Jerry was immortal at the time.

And of course, just like Solaricks, Rick tries to put on his mask again at the end and act that he doesn't care about Jerry. He even slaps him as a last resort. But he can't keep up the act. Not anymore.

This sounds a little corny, but I liked how we saw a good combination of men, women and POC the board room. OK, I know that sounds like I'm trying to insert "wokeness" in a series that's not known for being "woke," but so many shows portray corporations as a bunch of white dudes and one token white woman to "keep the girlies from bitching about it."

Similarly, I liked the Gwyneth Paltrow/Elizabeth Holmes girlboss character. She was evil but not obnoxiously, gratingly evil. I didn't care for the hillbilly guy--he almost seemed like a character from a different show.

Also, random, but I love how the artists draw scenery. It sounds silly, but Panda Express actually looks like Panda Express. The zoo gift shop looks exactly like a zoo gift shop. The artists and animators create vibrant, lifelike scenery instead of generic stores and restaurants that make the world feel "real" and lived-in.

I'm guessing that none of them jumped on the Panda Express counter and demanded Szechaun sauce.

Speaking of the artwork, the art and animation in the last fight scene were incredible. I wonder if the animators were referencing the Run the Jewels "Oh Mama" music video, especially since Rick's wearing the same outfit. The lighting and design were similar.

This isn't a problem with the episode itself, but I do miss the surreal, brightly colored alien worlds from the first five seasons. Rick needs to fix his portal gun already, lmao. I love watching the show push its boundaries, but I don't want it to lose the adventurous, sci-fi aspect that makes it fascinating and entertaining to watch.

Overall, I think season five was the end of "old" Rick and Morty. Some say that it ended with season three, but seasons four and five still had similar tones, humor, plotlines and characterization. Season six is new territory. "Rickmurai Jack" was the transition point--the reveals irrevocably changed the show, and it can't go back now.

#rick and morty #rick sanchez #jerry smith #final desmithation #review

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adultswim2021 · 3 months

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Titan Maximum #2: "Busted" | October 4, 2009 - 11:30PM | S01E02

The second dang episode of Titan Maximum is basically a second pilot, taking us through how the newly formed team navigates the bureaucracy of the future government in order to get a replacement giant robot to pilot and have space adventures with. There’s also a little bit of advancement with the villain of the show, a former member of the team. I don’t think I touched on that aspect even a little bit last time. The important thing to know is, they get themselves reinstated with the military and the little brother nerd kid is their new engineer, producing a new mech that’s seemingly superior in every way, except the face is hastily drawn on. The episode ends with them about to do their first actual episodic adventure.

The main characters on the show are mostly dicks. We see them do stuff that dicks do to be dicks and for no other reason other than because they are dicks. That’s the comedy, dicks being dicks. Okay. That’s fine, I guess, if you're not me. In this one we have a flashback to them raping the “statue of unity”, because they were drunk and acting arrogantly for, again, no real reason. Then at one point they do a joke where a grunt foot soldier in another part of the story says an obvious sexual joke out loud and there’s pronounced awkward silence. It’s just like, man, what point are you even making here?

There wasn’t a single funny joke in this whole episode. I started getting actually pissed off. So much so that I failed to keep good notes for this episode; I literally wrote “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THIS SUCKS” in a few different iterations without saying what I was reacting to. I should’ve been writing stuff like “the mean slut is showing her tits and being nasty.” Why, it’s like a season three episode of Sealab 2021, except for it probably took a year to animate instead of an afternoon.

I watched this on adultswim.com, and I’m probably going to get a DVD or download of this or something to watch instead. I was literally getting like, cartoonishly angry at this show, so much so that I started punching stuff. I am a lunatic, yes, but usually bad shows don’t upset me this much. Then, midway through the episode? I swear to fucking god, there was like 4 minutes of ads. They just jammed a commercial break in and it took for fucking ever. Every time a new ad started I actually started growling. Lotta ads for new shows coming soon to HBOMax. They all look like shit. Goddamn, I have never hated an app more than that app. I am thankful I don’t actually pay for it myself.

To make it even worse: the one thing I stated as a positive about this show was the closing credits, which they interrupt for a lame callback joke. Then after the credits are over, they include a tag where a housekeeper explains an earlier joke where somebody pees in their space suit thinking it has a waste collection receptacle even though it doesn’t. Yeah, I saw that episode of Venture Bros. too.

MAIL BAG

got me katanas i want you to know, slicing up doors i want you to know, girl it's home movies i want you to know, don't know about you but i am wack...y coach mcguirk, wanna grow up to be, be a bob belcher

this was nice, pal, and I got a good laugh outta the deal. Well, see ya!

What can Delocated do in Season 2 to win you back? You seemed really down on it by the end. You didn't even like the part where he named all of Paul Rudd's lesser known movies.

You are full of shit! I literally named the final episode my favorite episode so far. I think all the feelings I had for the show roughly resembled the feelings I had for it back when it premiered. You're ignorant, pal.

He was in Anchorman, and The 40 Year Old Virgin, he was in The Shape of Things. He was in Clueless and Romeo + Juliet. He did a thing in Reno 911: Miami. The Cider House Rules. P.S. The Oh In Ohio. Knocked Up. He had a series of Broadway credits: The Last Night of Ballyhoo. Three Days of Rain with Julia Roberts. Twelfth Night at Lincoln Center. HE WAS IN HOUSE HUNTING!

"I like this" -me. See, now leave me alone.

Honestly I really like the *premise* of Titan Maximum. it's surprisingly earnest with it's deconstruction of Voltron, the character drama, the running story had a lot of potential, it looks great, Even the implied worldbuilding is fun. But like you said, the character writing is AWFUL. It's like a time capsule of the late 2000s "Workaholics" writers' board (twitter DOT com/podimportant/status/1369836756971835402). It sucks cause I like everything else about it but it really brings it down.

I probably should've noted this in the first episode, but I've never been a Voltron devotee. I don't remember ever watching it as a kid, and I've only seen a couple episodes as an Adult out of curiosity. So some of this show is probably lost on me. But the writing is so bad, I would highly doubt it would add anything for me.

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #titan maximum

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 5 months

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Speaking of Death Battle thoughts on the 2000000000000000000000th repeat of Goku vs Superman? Good? Bad? Or exists?

//Ok, I have a lot to say about it:

//You know how I said that Scooby Vs Courage was my favourite episode of this season?

//It is genuinely at risk of losing it's title, and it's because of Goku Vs Superman 3. Let me break it down:

//Now, I did kind of mention this when I recapped Rick Vs Doctor, but even from the beginning, I was a big defender of the match. When Ben explained why they were doing this again, he made some really great points and convinced me that they had something good in the works.

//And for the people who say that the rerun was pointless, especially since Goku lost again, I need to point out that the SECOND fight was pointless. It happened one series after the first one and seemed to just be made of scrapped notes from the first episode, which, to its credit, I still think holds up today. The controversy surrounding the second episode was a bit intense, but sort of deserved, since the really only good thing about the second fight was Brandon Yates' "Alive".

//As for what makes the most recent episode so great, the analyses for both Goku and Superman are really well done and very respectful to both characters, much unlike the second fight where Goku just got fucked over and Superman got decharacterized like a motherfucker. They do a good job at bringing out both characters best sides and this is what is translated into the fight.

//Unlike the previous two times the two fought on Death Battle, Superman actually plays along with Goku's battle hungry enthusiasm, and the two are pretty chummy throughout the fight despite how they're trying to kill each other. I love it when there's no real animosity between fighters in DB and that they're just trying to test out each other's strength. I also think this shift in motives for Superman is great, because it brings out what I believe is his best side, that being his humility. Whereas in the previous two episodes he was kind of no-nonsense, overly stern and serious and just gave Goku shit for...being Goku, Superman is really nice to Goku in this episode and respects him right until the end, even agreeing to go round 2 with him. So even though the fight ends with Goku losing again, I saw this coming, and I'm at least glad it wasn't a fuck-you death like the last two times.

//Also, what helps is that the voice acting is amazing. Michael Kovach and Xander Mobus are two guys who I respect IMMENSELY, and this episode highlights why. They break off each other well, and Michael's final Kamehameha when Goku goes Ultra Instinct is incredible.

//The animation is the best of the season, bar-none, or at least the best 3D animation. If I talked about everything I liked about it, we'd be here forever, but you can tell the animators pulled out all the stops. The one scene I will draw attention to is when Superman starts to get serious and punches so hard, reality breaks and we see alternate versions of Goku and Superman fighting, like Goku Black fighting Ultraman. I think that was really cool and really clever and paid good attention to the legacy of both the characters.

//Lastly, the post-analysis was very well done. It seems to me that Death Battle really wanted to explain why Superman wins this time instead of just saying, "ugh, he's fucking strong and goku sucks" so they broke it down into categories, and Goku even outmatched Superman in skill. I liked that the fight wasn't a complete and total one-sided beatdown since Goku had a few edges, and that's enough for me.

//If I had to say there were any disappointments with the episode, I have two, and they are extremely minor. For one, I was really hoping that the battle track would be a remaster of Alive from the second fight, but upon reflection, Alive was more of a nitty and gritty and edgy track that suited the more savage mood of the second episode, whereas in this one it's more upbeat and powerful to show just how fun the two were having. So while my expectations were subverted, they were succeeded.

//The other thing I didn't like was how the episode ended. Wiz starts going on a panic and questioning what they're doing before Boomstick snaps him out of it. And the reason this makes me sad is because it feels like Death Battle is trying to justify it's reason for existing to it's audience, which...it shouldn't HAVE to do that. Death Battle exists to paint and show a picture of what would happen if the characters you love were to fight to the death using every ability they have in their arsenal, and use math, science and research to decide who. The people who right the show, in spite of what many people will tell you, are not biased against anybody, and even though they rely on facts to reach their verdicts, it's all about having fun and seeing these crossover fights with two powerful combatants duking it out. That's all there is to it and that's all there needs to be, and it makes me sad and angry to think about how these guys are getting chronic hate for their verdicts from toxic people, since it DOESN'T MATTER who wins! Oh, your fav lost? How sad! MOVE ON! You've got a life to live and if it pisses you off, watch a different series. It just made me sad, that's all.

//Anyway, in summary, top tier episode. 10/10.

//And for those who are curious, here's my current ranking of the Season 10 episodes from best to worst, not including Galactus Vs Unicron (which by the way, I have no say in, I'm not particularly invested in either character, so I don't really care who wins. Subtly rooting for Galactus though.) This season has been absolute fire from start to finish and I love every single episode so far though:

Scooby Vs Courage

Goku Vs Superman

Frieza Vs Megatron

Rick Vs the Doctor

Cole Vs Alex

Bill Vs Discord

Guts Vs Dimitri

Ant-Man Vs Atom

Gojo Vs Makima

Skyrim Vs Dark Souls

Phoenix Vs Raven

Martian Manhunter Vs Silver Surfer

Vader Vs Obito

Stitch Vs Rocket

Killua Vs Misaka.

#mod #death battle

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lovecanbesostrange · 1 year

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Finally saw Ant-Man & the Wasp: Quantumania last night and now clicking through the general reviews... well... I do get the overall “why is everything CG in blockbusters, especially Marvel”. Oh, I want more shots on set and more practical effects. But this film is set in the quantum realm. Yes, it did not have to look so Star Wars-y (somebody better put the Mos Eisley Cantina music over that bar scene), but of all the things to bemoan that isn’t such a big deal in this film particularly?!

One reason the second Ant-Man is one of my absolute fav MCU films is the fact it’s not about saving the entire planet. Kinda low stakes and all, very character focused. And in lots of ways Quantumania (sadly) is the opposite of that. But also Kang is among my least cared about villains, I loathe so many times I would read Avengers and boom who shows up... ugh. Do. Not. Care. I already feared Kang would come after Thanos before Phase 2 was over. And here we are. But I think this version, for this movieverse, could overall be very entertaining. So hooray for that. It absolutely IS weird to set him up within an Ant-Man movie though. Then again breaking formula in a way?? Everybody else on these soulcrushing rides, adventures about personal grief and changes, but Scott Lang and family end up with this big threat looming. Hmm, okay.

I am upset that we didn’t get to see any of the non-suit-wearing characters we love. I especially don’t get why Maggie wasn’t at the fake birthday party in the end. I get why Luis isn’t in the big story, but a quick shot in the beginning - just like with Jimmy - would have been nice. I don’t think this film tells us that Scott doesn’t care about them and is only here for the Pym-van-Dyne family, but it’s a bit sad to get NOTHING.

What I wanted most of all was seeing Michelle Pfeiffer kick some ass. Expectation met. Thank you. I think Hope was a bit pushed too far back, but the way she comes back for Scott (always), is nice. I can get behind their relationship, their love, their commitment to each other 100%. Also Hank and Janet? Amazing. She kept so much for herself, but is he mad? Do they have to have long drawn out fights for D~rama?? Nope. Some irritation and frustration, sure, that’s more than allowed. But in the end there is only trust and love and unquestionable support. Also please, Hank is there to show some love for ants and that’s wonderful. Really glad his ant farm got sucked in. XD

Also watching this, my one wish is now stronger than ever. Seeing the absolute ridiculous M.O.D.O.K. (and I am not sorry they evolved this from Yellowjacket), I neeeeeeeeeeeeeee~d an X-Men film set in MojoWorld. So much. Ridiculous, over the top, non-sensical absurdity, that has zero consequences when the end credits roll. PLEASE! I need that.

Is this a cinematic masterpiece? lol no, why would I expect that from an MCU movie (so far down the line)? This is about characters I already love and adore (Scott Lang is the best), who end up in unfortunate circumstances and pew-pew their way out of it. For deeper feelings I watch other stuff. (While I’d still change things, I feel like the writers understand Ant-Man & Co better than whatever is happening with Thor. I think the tonal inconsistency of Love & Thunder drags that film down for me and Quantumania felt pretty solid in that regard.)

#ramblings

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sunnys567 · 1 year

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Friends in Strange Places Ch. 2 Teaser

Summary: Teaser for chapter 2 of my Good!Vlad fanfic. Basically a rewrite of the scene where Cujo attacks Axiom from Valerie’s perspective.

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"Now remember, Val, you need to be on your best behaviour." Damon said, adjusting his tie "Cecil is a very...temperamental person, and he reports to John Axiom himself, whose even more temperamental. Not that you aren't a very charming person, but if I were you , I'd just hang around politely and silently. Try to say nothing at all until he leaves if you can help it."

"Sure thing Daddy. And afterwards I can borrow your credit card to go to shopping with Paulina and Starr?" Valerie said, fluttering her eyelashes.

"You got it babygirl." Her dad said, patting her head. "Now, let's get going. Cecil will be here soon."

--------------------------------------------

Despite the warnings from her dad, the walk and talk was pretty standard. Borderline boring. It probably would have been boring for anyone else, but Valerie kind of enjoyed them. Despite the rewards she asked for, she like to observe the business practices of the higher ups. She took careful mental notes. After all, this would be her someday, and she wanted to be prepared.

That being said, if your dad was willing to offer you a shopping spree as well as practical business insights and experience, why not take both?

Eventually they made it to the security camera room. It seemed like the ideal place to end the walkthrough; the various monitors giving a sort of feel of being able to see the whole company, everything her dad had worked on, on display on the wall.

"And there you have it." Damon concluded. "Axiom Labs is now the most secure tech facility in the US."

"I must say," Cecil actually did seem impressed with the tour "You've done quite the job here. Certainly an improvement from the smelly security dogs of the past."

"Indeed." Damon laughed amicably.

"I'm glad we had those mutts put down."

That was when Valerie noticed it. A glowing green shape flashed by on one of the monitors.

Valerie frowned. It was there and gone so quickly. Had she just imagined it?

Then it appeared on another monitor, in and out of the display again. Valerie stopped paying attention to her father's conversation with Cecil what's-his-name and watched the monitors.

The green shape flickered in and out of a few screens (yeah, there was no way she was imagining it), before finally stopping. Now that it wasn't moving, Valerie could get a good look at it.

She did not like what she saw.

It appeared to be a giant green dog. Valerie like dogs, but this dog was different. For one, it had to be the size of an elephant.

For another, this dog looked incredibly menacing. It's angry eyes glowed red, and it was growling, showing razor sharp teeth and letting green goo drip from it's bottom lip.

Valerie wondered why it had stopped moving when she noticed a smaller white glow in front of the dog. She squinted. It appeared to be a person.

This 'person' looked quite weird, though. They had snow white hair and were wearing a black body suit. And there was also the fact that they were glowing and floating slightly above the ground.

Valerie felt her heart rate speed up.

Who were these freaks? Why were they glowing? Why was there a glowing person and a terrifying dog in the basement? What did they want? How did they get inside 'the most secure facility in America'?

What were they going to do?

"Daddy?" Valerie finally piped up. Cecil looked annoyed that she'd interrupted his conversation, but her dad seemed to clock the fear in her voice "What's-" Before Valerie could get the question out, alarms were suddenly blaring and red light flooded her vision.

"Gray?" Cecil snapped "What's going on?"

"There's been a security breach!" Damon's voice was level, but there was a hint of panic in it. "A big one!" Valerie looked back at the monitors. The dog and kid were nowhere to be seen.

"Obviously! What caused the breach?"

"Does anyone else hear that?" the security guard sitting at the monitors asked. Between the alarms and Cecil and her dad's conversation (which sounded more like an argument with Damon on the defensive), only Valerie heard him.

"We can all hear the alarms, thanks!" she answered.

"No, not that! Something else!"

"What?"

"I don't know, it sounds...like an animal? I think I can hear something barking!" his eyes scanned the monitors as he spoke.

Valerie looked up to the area she'd seen the dog and gasped. On the screen she'd last seen the dog on, machines were denting and sparking as if something was hitting them, but nothing was. It was as if an invisible giant was flailing wildly around the room with a club.

"What's going on there?" she asked the monitor person, pointing at the screen. His gaze followed her finger and his eyes widened.

"I have no idea!"

At this point Jack and Damon noticed their conversation and came over to investigate. They all stared at the monitors in horrified confusion.

They watched the destruction for a few more seconds before the display suddenly turned to static then went black. Before anyone could speak, a similar thing started happening on another screen. The machines seemed to destroy themselves for a bit, metal crumpling and sparks shooting everywhere, and then that monitor went black as well.

One by one, each monitor was going out.

Valerie thought she noticed a pattern; the destruction seemed to mostly be happening to the new security implements. Keypads on the wall showered sparks, and industrial doorframes where the new sliding doors had been installed twisted and buckled in an almost sickening way. Actual projects were barely touched. Some people were running around, but they seemed unharmed.

The alarms suddenly stopped blaring. It was a mercy on the ears, but it filled Valerie with dread, like the world going quiet when you fell beneath the ocean and were beginning to drown.

The monitors continued to turn black.

"Clyde," Damon said. "Do you have any idea what's going on down there?"

The monitor person shook his head.

"It's like your security system just decided to...destroy itself."

"Never, in all my years, have I ever seen something like-"

Damon was interrupted when a glowing teenager phased through the monitor and floated above them. He was the same person Valerie had seen with the dog.

"You have to get out of here!" he cried "It's coming this way!"

"What is?" Valerie asked. "And what are you?"

Valerie thought she saw mist come out of his mouth. It wasn't cold in here though?

"No time to explain!" he said, flying towards them.

Before she could react, Valerie was suddenly flying through the air. A cold feeling washed over her and her body suddenly incredibly light. She realized that the kid had grabbed her and her dad and was flying them through the walls of the building!

They were outside in a few seconds. The kid set her down and and Valerie felt her weight return. It was almost dizzying. He flew back into Axiom Labs through the walls and soon reemerged with the Clyde and Cecil, depositing them by Valerie before flying straight back into the building.

No one said anything for the next minute. Valerie struggled to process what had just happened. Suddenly, there was a burst of green energy and a chunk of the wall was missing when it dissipated. Valerie briefly saw their rescuer, but he quickly dived back out of sight.

They all watched as the kid flew in and out of the walls with the rest of the Axiom employees one or two at a time. Once Damon managed to come to his senses, he pulled up a digital registry to make sure all the employees were accounted for and told Valerie to call 911.

It was the most surreal phone call of her life. As Valerie dialed those three numbers, she suddenly realized that they didn't feel real, like 911 was a common trope used in stories that didn't happen to real people.

But this was real and it was happening to her, right now.

#danny phantom #dp #dp fanfic #danny phantom fanfic #friends in strange places #fisp #writing #fanfic

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agentem · 1 year

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Emily watches "Black Adam"

Because... I am bored at my parents' house.

The father of the kid in the prologue was the Rock. Why are we pretending he Shazamed into the Rock?

Is this set in the past? There was a Smashing Pumpkins song, and the driver has a cassette tape. Is this the 90s?

The prologue reminds me of the opening of X-Men Apocalypse and the scenes in the cave remind me of Moon Knight. Where is Oscar Isaac? He should be here.

I know Dwayne Johnson has clauses in his contracts that he can't lose a fight in movies. But I think it'd be HILARIOUS to have Zachary Levi's goofy Shazam beat him. Or Darla, because Darla is my favorite from that movie. I'd also like to see Shazam beat Superman while we are at it. Because he is supposed to be the one who call when Superman goes evil and that is sort of what happened in Justice League. Doesn't Shazam (then Captain Marvel) beat him and Superman plows fields and penance?

I knew Aldis Hodge was going to be hot in this but I am surprised how into Pierce Brosnan I am.

How does Adam know what a catchphrase is?

At this point I fell asleep, not ENTIRELY the movie's fault. I had some medication issues. But the movie didn't keep me up either.

Hawkman looks hot. I don't know how the citizens can boo him. Sure, non-intervention but also stand there and look pretty.

Who is playing Pierce Brosnan's in costume body double? He's hot too.

I'm sorry I'm so into the JSA when they are doing the bad thing here but the Rock is too bulky for me. LOL. He's also giving lines like "Force is always necessary" like they are gems. And I'm like, "eh, force is often necessary but we prefer if it's not."

Cyclone's suit is interesting but it also looks like something you can buy at Hot Topic. I like her hair though. Great hair.

I don't really like this kid and the mom. I feel like they got everyone killed and I don't know why?

Pierce Brosnan is really bring the only emotional performance to this movie and I thought his James Bond was without depth, and bad.

The ultimate badguy/demon Shazam looks really stupid. Like some middle schooler drew him. "Yeah he's got horns and a pentacle on his stomach and muscles and he flies."

This whole final battle could have been avoided if Dr. Fate just told Hawkman to call the facility Black Adam was in. They spoke to the lady from Peacemaker. Doesn't anyone have her number? Or did he Fate just want to die?

God I hate this kid.

... I mean it's not terrible. It's silly. I think I would've rather seen the origin story with the son. Even though you would've known the Rock would become the hero in the end, it still would've felt like something different, set in ancient times.

Or maybe if they had combined Whirlwind or Atom Smasher with the kid from Kahndaq? Like if one of them were from Kahndaq and wanted to be a hero but fucked up with Intergang somehow--got in trouble with the JSA--so feeling like he or she needs help, awakened the champion from the past without realizing he wasn't Shazam but Black Adam. That way we get can rid of some of these extra characters.

"Kahndaq" also feels like a set with maybe 24 people living there. I know they film on sets to keep the press from seeing, but you gotta do something distinct. Maybe have that weird triangle hand signal all over the place. Give them a cultural backstory. I don't know.

But then I hated the hand signal so maybe not.

END CREDITS: Happy to see Cavill get another chance at Superman but can we agree that Amanda Waller shouldn't have been involved? And also that it should have been Zachary Levi as Shazam?!?

Black Adam started as a Captain Marvel/Shazam bad guy. You can't be saying Shazam multiple times in the movie and not addressing the fact that Shazam has movies too.

#dceu #black adam #dwayne johnson #teth adam #shazam #hawkman #doctor fate #whirlwind #atom smasher #pierce brosnan

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awesome-opossum-after-hours · 1 year

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alrighty folks we're BACK. so I did this before the release of The Umbrella Academy season 3, and actually got one of the songs right (and it was used twice!!!!) SO we're testing my prophecy skills with Stranger Things 5. now this may be a bit harder because we obviously have nothing to go off of right now (besides the episode 1 title, which does in fact help a bit) vs the trailer I had for TUA3. so you're getting my theories and you'll deal with it.

I'm gonna just go over my top 5 songs for now but if anyone has questions about some others on the playlist def ask! to mark the date for my own satisfaction when I nail at least one of these, it's November 18, 2022.

1. Kids in America- Kim Wilde

I'm gonna bet the season would open with this. I have faith in the Duffer that things won't go to shit right away, so we can get to see them being kids! please. for the love of God.

2. The Final Countdown- Europe

oh my god if I had to bet on ANY song for them to use it the trailer it'd be this. I mean the lyrics suit what (I assume) the season will be about, like it literally IS the final countdown. ("will things ever be the same again?" hopefully. again they need a BREAK duffers)

3. Holding Out For a Hero- Bonnie Tyler

ok so this one isn't technically my idea... I got it from tiktok. BUT you can't tell me this song doesn't scream Steve Harrington. this will be HIS SCENE. he'll take his nail bat to those motherfuckers and fight as the hero he is. (but Steve please for the love of god don't die thank you)

4. For Whom the Bell Tolls- Metallica

well I did say this is gonna mention my own theories... imagine Eddie waking up, Twilight-style in the Upside Down to this song right as the sick bass riff starts at the beginning of the song. it ends the first episode and seeps into the credits as we all freak out because he's BACK. maybe not "okay" yet but we'll get there.

5. Heroes- either David Bowie or Peter Gabriel's version... depending on the vibe

gotta throw in one repeat bc Stranger Things loves to reuse songs. I'm not complaining though, I mean it gives an interesting, full-circle sorta meaning to it which is pretty cool! there's a few others they might do this with, but I think given their history of using Heroes it would be the perfect song to play as the final credits close.

again, let me know if you want more!

#stranger things #kas theory #stranger things 5 #theories #playlist #my opinions #these better happen i stg #Spotify

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spoilertv · 12 hours

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#SpoilerTV

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yeojagroup · 8 months

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heavy heavy shit that's been on my mind ! cw: grief

i want to go see my mom. i asked a few weekends ago if we could go see her, but my dad didn't want to make the drive up unless we were also going to go visit my aunt. the last time we went to the cemetary was traumatizing for reasons out of our control, and instead of feeling any sense of relief or comfort i felt hypervigiliance. that's par for the course though! i need to go see if the headstone has finally been put down or the groundskeeper fucked up and switched it with another bereaved family's daughter again. i feel the need to go sit at her headstone and become a little unravelled again. to scream and tell her how angry i am, how small and useless i feel, and how i hate that she wasn't strong enough to stop the cycle. i remember one of the conversations i had with her near the end when she admitted to me that she didn't think she was a very strong person, and i said she wasn't giving herself enough credit.

i talked with my therapist about how she'd told me that she had been in several abusive relationships. one with a controlling, high IQ mensa member lawyer who liked to buy lingerie and clothing for her. and then my brother's father, an alcoholic cop. there's a lot to be said without me having to say it just by disclosing those two details. she told me that they had made her feel like she wasn't good enough for them to wipe their feet on. harrowing and heartbreaking. and even if i weren't biased, if i were lead to believe that she was exaggerating and being a drama queen, her actions and systematic self-destruction shows the truth. i watched her harm herself. and when i worried about her, when i tried to call attention to the fact that she wasn't well and she was abusing herself as well as substances, even as a child, she would break out the handbook that her exes must've used on her. no, you're wrong, you're exaggerating, you're so sensitive. you're hysterical. and you know what? sometimes, i was hysterical. my nervous system couldn't process all this pain and confusion. i couldn't do it back then.

i didn't have the resources. i still don't. i'm trying to reshape my life and give it purpose, to find some meaning after all the senseless hurt, but how was i meant to come out of this situation as a fully functioning adult? how was i meant to see this and form any type of self-esteem? she would dismiss me and be so callous sometimes. like a petulant child, she'd go, "right, because i'm what's wrong with everything in your life. everything is my fault." but actually. some of it is your fucking fault. i know you tried your best. i want to believe that you did. but there are things i've told you over and over again and screamed myself hoarse over that you never believed. you never believed how much i cared about you. how much it would destroy me if anything happened to you. when you were sober, you were such a funny and beautifully unique woman. and now that you're gone, it's like you never existed in the first place. my life got smaller. i started starving even more for the breadcrumbs of love you'd last given me, searching for the last time you gave me a birthday card with a sweet message on it only to come up a little bit short. if i have the energy to remember, if i even want to, i try to recall the good things. but i don't have to forgive you right now. in fact, i don't have to forgive you ever. some day i will make peace with it all. maybe the first step is cutting that tie of familial obligation, the need to be a perfect daughter you possess and throw away when it suits you, to protect my own peace.

#txt #cw: grief ///

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khaycaprithewriter · 2 years

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Everything you think you know. Update 2022

So.....wow. Its been a long, long, longgggg time. A year and 5 months to be exact since I stopped writing my blog. It no longer brought me joy and I really thought nobody cared enough for me to keep it going. But here we are a year and so months later and a lot has changed to say the least. I really don't know where to start but what I can tell you is that my life has truly changed for the better and I mean that whole heartedly! Although it has been better is has challenged me more than anything. I feel as though I really had my epiphany/breakthrough moment last year. 2021 was nothing short of fucking insane in ALL aspects. I made a life changing decision, I gave up something I never thought I could, and started choosing ME. That is one of the biggest changes of them all is that I actually started to choose things and make decisions that I felt suited me best and suited Naomi even better. After February 2021 I made the decision to change my health and take care of my weight. Being the big girl all my life has always taken a toll on me but now I viewed it in a different perspective. How can I truly live a long healthy life with my child if I keep ruining myself health wise? How can I tell my daughter to eat healthy and exercise if I don't? I realized that the heavier I got the more years were getting cut off for being there for my child and it was killing me. If you know me, you know Naomi means more to me than anything and anyone in this world and whatever I have to do give her everything she needs and more is what I will do. When you have a child your whole world stops. You realize every single decision or action you make effects their life in one way or another, positive or negative. I want to have a positive impact on my daughter. It was a very trying few months after deciding to better my health. I had a few people who knew and supported my journey but I had several others assuming I could not stick with it and would crash and burn and that took a toll on me. But, I realized at the end of the day I am doing this for ME not them and those that love and care about me will stand by me. I was seeing progress, seeing actual results. However, I was still sad and depressed and felt like I just wasn't completely satisfied with my life. I was having issues with my mom and brother and extremely unhappy in my relationship. I wanted to be alone every chance I got from any and everyone. There was this feeling of doubt. What if I am never truly happy? What if I will always settle for less than I deserve? These feelings were eating me alive. I had moved out of my moms house. It was too toxic and unhealthy. I knew I needed to find my own place and had been saving up for months to get one and working on my credit for 2 years to have a better shot at getting one. I was doing great things to process but wasn't feeling happy. I went from seeing my therapist every 3 weeks, to once a week. Every week I was begging her to give me answers and help me understand why I feel this way. She then told me something that changed my life. “The world isn't going to fall apart if you start choosing you. The world is going to keep going and get better once you start choosing you and STOP worrying about how everyone is going to react. You need to set boundaries and do whats right for not only you, but Naomi and I promise you, your life will change. I did just that. I found an apartment, got approved and moved in immediately. After getting my apartment, my car broke down and my insurance would not cover anything and the warranty wouldnt either. But, thanks to my credit and my savings I was able to a BETTER car, one of the best I have ever had after YEARS of hand me down cars. New apartment, New car. What else? A NEW JOB. After 2 years in a horrible toxic work environment I finally quit and no had a better paying union job and a job that can benefit my degree once graduating. Everything I manifested and prayed for was happening right before my eyes and it all seemed too good to be true, like a dream. I then made the decision to leave my 7 year relationship, and this was the decision that really shaped my life and changed it for the better. I won't say too much because if you know, you KNOW. But all I can say is that settling wasn't working for me anymore. I always had this feeling of not being enough, not being pretty enough, not being loved enough, just like i had enough of telling myself Id have my dream come true when time and time again its proven that it was never going to be that way. Those who know me know how hard I tried and fought to save my relationship but I realized that in order for me to be a good mom and person overall I have to choose whats best for me even if it hurts. Once I left and was newly single, that was my epiphany. The world didn't fall apart because I left him, I didn't explode or spiral into a deep pit of depression. I was actually okay!! From moving into my apartment, leaving my toxic relationship, got a new car, a new job and was sooo much closer to graduating college, I realized the world was truly mine for the taking. If I do not work my ass off and do things for me, I will forever be in the same spot and never more forward nor be successful. Being able to have safe space to call my own, fill my own fridge, pay my own rent and do everything on my own was hard to adjust to, but WORTH IT. Being able to take care of my daughter on my own without needing anyone or having to ask has been my biggest reward and blessing. I love being able to confidently say...I am Miss Make it Happen!!! I love the bond that my daughter and I share. Its just us a majority of the time and we always have so much fun and laugh together. She really is my saving grave and God knew what he was doing when he gave me you. But, like always, God surprises me with more blessings. In addition to ending 2021 as one of the best and most life changing years of my life....he made 2022 even better. God has blessed me and chose me to carry life again. He gave me a son, a baby. To say I am overjoyed would be an understatement. I truly feel like God knows my heart was ready. I prayed for a baby for so long and knew at the right time, with the right person, he would bless me. To my unborn son, thank you for choosing me. Thank you for trusting me to carry you and keep you healthy and strong. Please keep growing strong for us. Daddy, Mommy and Naomi cannot wait to meet you. You do not know or understand how loved you are already, we love you baby boy.

If you have read this long I appreciate you SO much. Those who know me and love me have been waiting a long time for this blog and I hope you're proud of what Ive been able to express and put into words. I know loving me and being there for me isn't easy and I can be difficult but to have your continuous support always carries me through and is half the reason why I even do these blogs in the first place. To anyone who has never read my blog but took the time to today, thank you, thank you, thank you! I write these blogs not only because its my passion, but because I like to be heard. I have been silenced more times than I can count and this is my safe space to express me and be me, wholeheartedly. I want to be able to not only share, but connect with those who can relate and make them feel not so alone. On that note, let me know if there is ANYTHING you'd like me to write about or any topics that interest you! Stay tuned for my next blog, its going to be.....raw to say the least.

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