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bruhstories · 1 month

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sweet like honey ˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚

summary: logan ended up spending his evenings in the bar across the street from your bakery, watching you do your job. he never approached you, never talked to you, but he always kept an eye on you, until he has a bad feeling. pairing: logan x fem!reader warning & content: swearing, violence, reader almost gets assaulted (but logan saves the day), she/her pronouns for reader, wade being wade, unprotected p in v, fluff, angst, lots of baking and mentions of food, slightly ooc logan (if you squint), slow burn, sex in a bakery wc: 6k

a/n: i don't always write, but when i do, it's a fucking thesis. unedited.

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Logan was never a fan of sweets. He hated chocolate, cheesecake, gummy bears — literally anything sweet. The only thing he could barely stomach was tiramisu, and only because it had coffee in it. Other than that, he steered away from sweets like they were the fucking plague.

Yet despite all that, he found himself enjoying the smell of freshly baked croissants, custard donuts, brownies, and whatever goods you baked in your little bakery, conveniently situated across the street from his go-to bar.

Cleverly named Flour Power, it was all pastel both inside and out, with little pots of hyacinths hanging from its window and a big sign above the entrance. Not that Logan ever went there, but he always walked past it when he went for a drink. Flour Power stood out from all the shops with its baby blue windowsills and bubblegum pink door. As much as he disliked vibrant colours, his eyes were always drawn to the bakery. But not because of how it looked or the way it smelled.

No, Logan strategically sat down by the window in the bar to see you. Every evening, he watched you sell everything you had on display, from wedding cakes to éclairs, greetings customers with a warm smile on your face. He watched you turn the sign from open to closed, lock the door, clean the display shelves, the counters, the only two tables and four chairs inside, and sweep and mop the floors. Then you disappeared in the back for a while, perhaps doing the dishes or preparing dough and frosting, before you walked out, locked the door again, pulled down the blinds over the big window on the right side of the door, and left.

It became a ritual for Logan to watch you. In a way, it brought him some peace, despite him never speaking to you. To him, you were innocence personified, the type of girl who made others feel better simply by being there, and he didn't want to disturb that peace.

Tonight was an ordinary night for the 200 year old mutant. He swirled the whiskey in his glass, drank it all, then went to the bar to ask for another round, killing time until you closed the bakery, then he could finally go back to the apartment. You closed at 7 for clients and left at 8:30 every evening except for Sundays, when you didn't work. Logan knew your schedule a little to well, even knew you opened for clients at 8 in the morning, but you were there much earlier, because he could smell the pastries at around half 6. This time, however, you seemed to have a bit more work. It was past 9, it was dark, and you still hadn't left, and Logan was slightly concerned.

He watched you like a hawk, how you tucked rebellious strands of hair behind your ear when you mopped the floor, how you wiped your hands on your cute little apron after you finished scrubbing the countertops. Logan thought you had extra orders from customers, perhaps a wedding cake. He scrunched his nose at the thought of having to try so many flavours only to pick a damn cake that he probably wouldn't enjoy anyway.

But finally, you were done.

It was almost 10 when you locked the door to the bakery, double checking to make sure it wouldn't budge. Then the blinds and off you went. Logan was satisfied to see you go, but the hairs on his back suddenly stood up, his nostrils filled with the scent of danger. Bitter, sour, it went straight to his brain, and so he finished his drink and left the bar, following you down the street but keeping a safe distance.

You walked past a group of drunk men, gripping your tote bag with your left hand and your keys with your right one. You've learned to place the keys between your fingers, like claws, in case someone attacked you. Going home at that time wasn't something you enjoyed, and you always tried to avoid working late, but sometimes that was inevitable. When you heard footsteps approaching you, you picked up the pace, but paranoia kicked in, and you didn't want whoever was following you to find out where you lived, and so you took a detour.

Logan was like your shadow, going everywhere you went, until he heard something drop in a dimly lit alleyway and he sped up, finding you round a corner, pinned to a wall by a man while another guy had his hand up your dress. It was too dark to see, but Logan didn't need eyes to know that was you. He could smell the vanilla extract and icing sugar and fear.

"Take my wallet!" You told the men, but they weren't there for the money. They wanted something else from you.

"Nah, doll, I'll take something else from you. Somethin' more precious than money." One of the men said, his breath reeking of alcohol, the cheap kind.

"Hurry up and fuck her, bro, I need my turn-"

Something flashed, then a shadow lunged at the second guy who couldn't even finish his sentence before he was struck down.

"Mike?" The man who pinned you against the wall asked, his hands trembling on your body. "Stop fucking around."

But Mike was seeing stars somewhere on the alleyway. It happened so quickly you couldn't understand what was going on. When your eyes finally adjusted to the darkness, you saw him, rough, handsome and very, very angry.

"Who the fuck are you?" The man asked, but all he got in response was a guttural growl. "Hey, man, I don't want any trouble. My girlfriend and I were just talking. Stay out of it." He grabbed you by the neck, dragging you away from Logan.

You seized the opportunity and wrestled out of his grasp by biting your assaulter's hand, dashing behind a bin.

"Ow! Fucking bitch!" He lunged at you, but Logan was quicker, piercing his claws through his shoulder and holding him in place.

"That's no way to talk to a lady." The mutant snarled, and you watched how his claws retracted before he punched the man in the face, effectively knocking him down.

He was the Wolverine. You had seen it all over the news, how he saved your universe, how he came from a different world. You couldn't believe he was the one helping you when you thought no one would save you in that moment.

"You alright, kid?" His raspy voice startled you and you barely nodded, still too shocked to move or speak. "You sure?"

You shook your head and tears rolled down your cheeks as you finally started to process what just happened. Logan scrunched his nose — comforting someone wasn't his strongest skill — and instead he picked up your bag and keys from the pavement.

"Shit, um, don't cry." He handed you your belongings, and you looked up at him with a frown.

How could you not cry when you saw your entire life flashing before your eyes? Logan swallowed a lump in his throat and offered his hand to help you stand up. You looked at his hand, reluctant to grab it. The only thing he could compare you with was a cat — cautious, yet curious.

"No claws." He said when he understood the meaning behind your eyes. "Come, I'll- um, I'll walk you home."

The invitation had you perk up and gain courage, and you quietly took the bag from his hand. He walked with you in complete silence, until you stopped in front of a building. You lingered, unwilling to go in. Logan asked if that was your place, and after you nodded, he offered to take you all the way to your apartment, which made you feel relieved. He could see it on your face when you sighed. You guided him up the stairs, constantly looking behind you to make sure he was there.

You stopped in front of a tall wooden door, keys in hand.

"Go on. I'll wait until you lock the door." Logan encouraged you.

"Can you stay?" You finally spoke, and your voice was sweet like honey, fitting for a baker.

"I don't know, kid-"

"Please." You looked at him with glossy eyes, pupils blown from the fear that hadn't left your body yet. The fear he could still smell.

"Yeah. Okay, I'll stay."

"Thank you."

Logan followed you in, and you flipped the light switch on before locking the door behind him. He looked around and, just as he expected, the apartment was a direct reflection of your bakery — clean, colourful and calm. There were recipes stuck to the walls with pink pins, and between them little paintings of sunsets, skies, flowers, cats. All things cute. They weren't framed, and so Logan figured they were hand-made, his assumptions confirmed by the easel in the corner of your living room.

Of course your sofa had to be colourful, too — mustard yellow with sage green cushions and blankets. Even your curtains were sage green. Despite the explosion of colours, Logan found himself enjoying being there. Not everything had to be brown, black and grey, he thought. Probably the only vibrant thing in his life was his suit, since the only people that brought colour were his friends, and they were gone.

"Drink?" You cracked the walls he put up around his heart with that sweet voice.

You shook a bottle of gin to get his attention and he nodded. Logan wasn't a fan of gin, but he didn't expect you to have any hard liquors. He watched you pull out two blue glasses from the kitchen cabinet, and of course they had to be funky, with white flowers on them.

"Where'd you get these?" He asked, swirling the drink in his hand.

"I made them. Kind of." You said. "Bought them from a charity store and painted the flowers. Do you want some tonic water?"

"Fuck no." Logan choked on his gin when you asked him that question. Simply being in a place so... colourful was enough. He didn't need a girly drink.

"I'm Y/N, by the way."

"I'm-"

"The Wolverine!" You cut him off a little too eager.

"-Logan. Call me Logan." He cringed when the beverage tickled his taste buds. It wasn't bitter enough for him.

"Logan. Thanks for tonight. Is there any way I can repay you?"

The question was riddled with innocence, but he couldn't stop the degenerate thoughts that popped in his mind when you asked him that. You were just so pure that he wanted to both protect you and ruin you.

"Don't mention it. I couldn't just walk past without doing anything." Logan lied, because, really, he wasn't just walking by, was he? No, it was downright stalking.

"I could bake something for you." You offered and he shook his head.

"I don't like sweets, kid."

"What?" You were baffled. "Everybody likes something sweet."

"Not me." He shrugged. "All I like is tiramisu and only if those biscuits are doused in coffee."

"Ladyfingers." You corrected him with a chuckle. "They're called ladyfingers."

"Bullshit."

"I'm serious! Here!" You rushed to your pantry and pulled out a whole box of them, showing Logan the name.

"That's just stupid." He shook his head. "Who calls them ladyfingers?"

"Uh, everyone?" You laughed at his surprise, and the thoughts of your bad evening slowly dissipated, like a bad dream.

Logan truly was clueless about baking, but spent hours listening to you talk about types of sugar, extracts and their uses, and the difference between baking soda and baking powder in cooking. You rambled on and on and not once did he get bored. He could listen to you talk for hours with your voice soothing. Logan thought about it, and he genuinely never met someone like you before. The women in his life were all so different, but you took the cake. You were special in ways he couldn't understand. And he was just so drawn to you.

"I'm sorry, I haven't stopped talking once!" You apologised, realising how safe you felt with him there. You would never let a stranger inside your house, let alone talk about baking while having gin. But Logan wasn't a stranger. Not after he saved you.

"'s alright. It's not every day I learn about baking." He chuckled, finishing his drink. "Listen, I should get going."

"Right." You sighed, eyes darting at the floor. "No, of course. I've kept you too long."

Logan got up and you walked with him to the hallway. He was slow to put his leather jacket on, as if he was waiting for you to say something, anything, but when you didn't, he unlocked the door and opened it.

"Hey, Logan?" You tugged at his sleeve, whispering so you wouldn't wake your neighbours. "Are you sure I can't bake you something? Not now, I mean. I really want you to try something besides tiramisu. And that way I can repay you."

"Hell, why not?" He shrugged.

"Great!" You beamed at him like a child on Christmas day. "Stop by my bakery tomorrow at twelve. It's on Granville Street."

"I thought you didn't work on Sundays."

"Oh, how'd you know?" You quirked a brow at him.

Caught red-handed.

"Educated guess."

"Fair enough." His answer satisfied you. "Be there or be square!"

Sleep was for the weak. All night, Logan tossed and turned and abused his poor pillow with with punches. The mere thought of seeing you, no, interacting with you, had him wriggle like a worm on the mattress. It didn't help that Wade instantly noticed something was up.

"Oh, my, did you shower, peanut?"

"Not today, Satan." Logan poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Mmm, and what do I smell?" Wade sniffed the air. "Wait, is that my perfume?"

"Forgot to pack mine when I swapped universes." The Wolverine barked back.

"Hah!" Blind Al chimed in from the living room. "I think tall, dark and handsome here has a date!"

Logan rolled his eyes while Wade pouted, plopping on the sofa next to Al.

"You never called me that."

"That's cause you’re a degenerate." The woman snorted.

"Takes one to know one, doesn't it- ow! Stop hitting me with your cane, I know where you hide your nose candy!" Wade fought back.

"Touch it and I'll bust a cap in your ass!" Al scoffed.

"And I'll regenerate."

Logan used the opportunity to slip into the hallway, but his roommate was quicker, and blocked the door.

"You're not going anywhere until we have the talk."

"The talk?" The Wolverine snorted.

"Ah, they grow up so fast." Wade told Al. "Now, son, when a man and a woman love each other-"

"I'll give you three seconds to fuck off."

"Oh, but I need to know everything! Who is he?"

"She." Logan rolled his eyes.

"Oh my god, is this you coming out to us? Al, he's straight! I promise we love you anyway." Wade went for a hug and all Logan could do was accept it. He learned to live with Wade, even though he dislocated his jaw a few times after he moved in.

"Alright, that's enough."

"Nooo, we're just getting started. Name? Age? Occupation? We could do a double date with Vanessa-"

"Absolutely fucking not." Logan pushed Wade off of him.

"Okay, okay. Just make sure you wrap your willy, and if you need any advice, daddy's here." Wade opened the door for his roommate.

"Actually." Logan lingered in the hallway. "What kind of flowers do girls like?"

The blinds to the bakery were closed but you were inside, pastries in the oven and dessert in the fridge. You couldn't help yourself and prepared something savoury as well, in case he didn't like the lemon cake. A knock on the door startled you, and you rushed to check who it was.

Logan stood there, a bouquet of peonies in his hand. You welcomed him in with a smile, but he could tell it was different than the one you flashed your customers. It seemed more genuine. And it felt like a date.

"These are for you." Logan handed you the flowers, taking in the scent of pork pies. "I thought you were gonna bake something sweet." He flared his nostrils.

"I did, I just thought I should have a plan B in case you didn't like my cake." You placed the bouquet in a vase on one of your tables. "How did you know I liked peonies?"

Logan couldn't believe Wade was right about those damn flowers. And there he was, thinking roses would be better. Maybe the Merc with a Mouth wasn't so bad after all.

"I had a hunch." He shrugged.

"Well, Logan, I love them! Now sit, sit!" You ushered him to his seat. "I hope you're hungry, because there's a lot for you to try."

"A lot? I thought you'll make me a cupcake or somethin', bub."

"A cupcake?? Don't be silly." Just as you said that, the oven made a loud ding sound, and you turned on your heels, heading in the back.

Logan waited patiently, observing every little detail from the front of your bakery, from the spotless display shelves to the neatly organised paper bags, to the fairy lights around the window. It was obvious to him that you had put your mind, body and soul into this bakery, and his expectations were quite high after all the fuss you made. But he decided to be nice not matter how the food tasted. He couldn't bear seeing you upset if he didn't like what you made.

You reappeared with a tray in your hand, and on it two plates, one with a small pork pie, one with a croissant, and a cup of coffee. Hell, even the cutlery was cute, with swirls engraved on the handles of the fork, knife and teaspoon.

"I decided to leave the cake for last." You said, placing the tray in front of him. "This is a simple pork pie, start with that." You urged him. "Careful, it's hot."

The Wolverine struggled with the cutlery, too small for his large hands, and the brief thought of slashing the pie with his claws crossed his mind, but he decided to be civil. You watched him butcher the food, eager to see his reaction, but he was taking his time.

"I'll let it cool off a bit."

"Ooh, that's probably a good idea." You nodded.

"Aren't you having some?" Logan asked.

"Noo, no. I like to bake for others, not for myself."

"So what do you eat, then?" He sipped on the coffee.

"Instant noodles usually. I'm too tired to cook when I get home. I do occasionally have leftovers, but whatever isn't sold I take it to the local shelter." You explained.

Christ, you couldn't be any kinder. Logan was stunned by your beauty and your soul, which was why he decided that after today, he will stop any interaction with you. He couldn't ruin you, not with his lifestyle, not with the danger that followed him everywhere.

The only problem was that the conversation flowed naturally, and he felt safe with you, just as you did with him. Like you were the missing piece to his puzzle. Logan pushed away those thoughts and decided to try the food. He took a large mouthful of the pie, chewed and swallowed, and you waited expectantly.

"Shit."

"What? Is it bad?" You jumped from your seat.

"Fuck, this is the best pork pie I've ever had." Logan wiped his mouth with a tissue you provided. "I'm serious, kid. Did you put drugs in it?"

You laughed, shaking your head as he finished the rest of the pie. He truly seemed to enjoy it, and you felt so satisfied. But the real test came after.

"Pistachio croissant." You said. "I thought about making almond ones, but I figured pistachio wasn't that sweet."

"Right, let's see." Logan took a healthy bite out of the pastry, and lo and behold, he closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair. If heaven had a taste, it would be that damned croissant.

"Is it good?"

"Good? Jesus, this is the best one yet." He finished the rest of it, the pistachio cream tickling his taste buds in all the right ways. "Who taught you to bake like this?"

"My grandma. She was the best cook I knew." You smiled.

Logan noticed your use of past tense, and he didn't want to bring up any bad memories. He wasn't the nosy type, but something possessed him to ask you about your life, your family, your favourite colours. He needed to know more about you, and you answered all his questions, opening up to him like a flower in bloom. But when it came to him talking about himself, Logan was reluctant.

Talking to Wade was easier, because Wade didn't take anything seriously, nor did he ask personal questions. Well, he did, but in his own stupid way that provided Logan some distraction, as well as a reason to punch him. But with you it was different. He felt like he owed you serious answers that he wasn't yet ready to tell a stranger who made a mean pistachio croissant.

"The cake!" You spun on the chair, changing the subject when you saw Logan dodging your questions like bullets.

Although he didn't say it, he was grateful that you didn't put any pressure on him to talk. He wasn't a talker. That was definitely Wade. You came back with the whole cake, and it looked so good that Logan didn't want you to cut it. Perfectly round, a layer of cream in the middle and white frosting on top. You even went so far as to decorate it with all kinds of yellow flower petals and what seemed to be mint leaves.

"Alright, hit me. What's this one called?"

"I call it the Mojito Cake. The sponge cake has lemon zest, the cream is made of lime, mint and rum syrup, and the frosting is buttercream with a dash of actual rum." You explained.

"Shit, I can't tell if that sounds disgusting or incredible."

"Only one way to find out." You cut him a thick slice, and Logan wasted no time trying it.

"I think you found yourself a new customer."

"You're too nice."

"I'm anything but nice, kid." He took three more spoonfuls. "But I ain't a liar. This is delicious." Logan spoke with his mouth full and it made you chuckle.

"Oh, there's a bit of frosting on your face."

"Hm?" He used the tissue to wipe his chin. "Did I get it?"

"No, it's still- here, I'll get it." You leaned forward and delicately ghosted your thumb over the corner of his mouth, eyes locked with his.

Without thinking about it, you dragged your tongue over the frosting, and Logan couldn't look away from you even if he wanted to. A gesture so innocent, but it destroyed any form of restraint. He pressed his lips onto yours, tasting the rum and the cream, but before you could kiss him back, he pulled away.

"Sorry. Sorry, I shouldn't have-"

You gave him no time to finish his sentence when you placed your hands on his shoulders and kissed him with fire on your tongue. God, he hated being touched, but when you did it, he melted in your hands. Lust battled reason and prevailed, and you found yourself straddling Logan's lap, arms around his neck and chest pressed against his.

His large hands found their way under your dress, fingers digging in the plush of your thighs until a moan escaped past your lips. Logan could've sworn you were pure in all ways — a virgin — so, naturally, he was surprised to see you eager to jump his adamantium bones.

With the last shred of reason left in you, you glanced at the door and window to make sure they were covered, and pushed Logan's jacket off his shoulders, peppering his neck with soft kisses. He wasn't the gentle type, no matter how hard he tried, and he didn't need to be when he felt your hips grind in his lap. It was more than obvious that you wanted him then and there.

Logan lifted you up as if you weighed nothing and slammed you down the empty table. His roughness sent a chill down your spine, because you really wanted him to manhandle you from the moment he stepped foot in your bakery. He kissed you again, pressing his whole against yours until your back hit the table. You felt like a cornered animal with nowhere to go, and the thrill of it turned you on.

"Are you sure you want this?" Logan asked despite you unbuckling his belt.

"I don't want this, I want you. I need you to fuck me so hard I can't walk." You unzipped his jeans, and although he was taken aback by your sudden use of filthy words, he couldn't deny he enjoyed seeing that side of you.

"Greedy little girl." Logan's hand slithered between your legs, fingers rubbing circles over your clothed clit. "Shit, you're soakin' wet. Can feel it through your fuckin' panties already." He flared his nostrils, taking in the scent of your arousal.

With his jeans loose around his waist, you palmed his cock through his boxers, and it didn't shock you for a second that he was rock hard. What did shock you, however, was the size of it. It was probably the biggest you've ever taken, and you didn't want any other man anymore.

You tugged at the waistband of his boxers, making it clear that you didn't want to waste any more time. Not that you didn't want to suck his dick or explore every inch of his body and worship it the way a man like him deserved it, but you were impatient.

Logan got the hint when you whined and scoffed, and he tore the pink panties off of you, tossing them on the floor. At least he had the decency not to put them on the table, which you were going to disinfect anyway. He pushed his boxers down, and you propped yourself on your elbows to look at him, and it was a sight for sore eyes indeed. He had perfectly sculpted abs, you could see them under the half-lifted t-shirt, but it was his cock that made your mouth water.

"Like what you see?" Logan was smug, confident in his good looks.

"I need to permanently imprint this image on my retina." You told him, and he couldn't help the chuckle.

"Likewise. Now spread 'em."

"Yessir!" You very quickly obeyed, parting your legs for him, and Logan couldn't deny that he enjoyed being in control.

He wasn't one to take orders, nor give them, but watching you comply scratched an itch he couldn't get rid of. Logan pressed the tip of his cock against your slick folds, earning another whine from you. You bucked your hips, craving more, and he scoffed.

"That desperate, hm?"

"You have no idea." You dug your manicured fingernails into his shoulders, bracing for temporary pain, because you knew damn well it would hurt.

"I don't know, I didn't hear you say please." Logan frowned, and you understood what game he was playing. A game you yearned to be part of.

"Oh, please, please, please fuck me, Logan! I'll be so good for you! I'll do anything you want." You clung to his shoulders, bringing yourself closer to him. "I'll even take it in any hole you want." You whispered, dragging your tongue over his lips.

"Shit." Logan was weak in the knees from your words, and the worst part was that he believed everything you said. But there was a time and place for everything.

You were the perfect mix of sweet and spicy, and you begged so nicely that the Wolverine just couldn't say no. You felt the leaking tip of his cock push past your folds and you audibly gasped at the size of it, drawing blood from his skin with your fingernails.

"It won't fit-" You whined with lust in your voice.

"I'll make it fit." Logan promised, painstakingly slowly thrusting into you.

He gave you time to adjust to his girth, constantly checking if you were alright, if you wanted him to carry on or stop, and while you loved that he was so caring, you needed him hurry up and fuck you.

To assure him that you would survive his monstrous cock, you planted a soft kiss on his nose, and there it was again, the change in your personality, from sultry to innocent. It was as though you embodied everything he ever wanted, and his desire to never contact you again went down the drain. How could Logan ever leave someone like you?

"I'm ready." You nodded, and he pressed his forehead onto yours, slowly rolling his hips.

You weren't ready, because it hurt like a bitch when he stretched out your velvety walls. But the pain was soon replaced by pleasure, and Logan picked up the pace when your whimpers turned to moans, and the slight frown on your face disappeared.

"So tight." He hummed, forehead resting against yours.

Were you tight, or was he just so incredibly big? Either way, you were a panting mess already, clinging to him for dear life, and Logan forgot his worries, even if it was just for that one moment. You were too good to be true, with your parted lips and glossy eyes — a beautiful sight for his sore eyes.

"Fuck, I- fuck!" You wrapped your legs around his waist, the table screeching under you. Not a single coherent sentence could come out of your mouth. "Logan, shit, I-"

"What's the matter? Need something?" He cooed, fingers bruising into your hips. "Use your big girl words."

"Need it ha-harder!" You cried out but he slowed down, confusion written all over your face.

"Where are your manners?"

"Please, daddy, please give it to me harder!"

The term of endearment had Logan quirk a brow at you, but he wasn't surprised in the slightest that you had a daddy kink. And he basked in being called that.

"Are you sure you can take it?"

"Yes!" There was no hesitation in your response. "Fuck, yes!"

Logan growled when he felt your pussy clench around his cock, and he delivered, thrusting deeper, harder and faster into you, until the sound of skin on skin echoed in the bakery, and your breathing became heavier.

"Fuuuuck, I can feel it in my gut!" You threw your head back when the tip of his cock brushed against your cervix.

"Filthy. Little. Slut." Each word came with a thrust and a groan, and he filled you up so good, you became addicted to him.

Your toes curled up, and your legs began to twitch when you felt your orgasm build up. Each push and pull made your vision blurry, and Logan's grip on you tightened as his hips stuttered. He was feral, and he was close, you could feel it in your bones.

"Fuck, Logan, do- oh- don't stop!" Words spilled from your mouth incoherently, and after a few more thrusts, pure bliss rushed through your body.

"That's it, let go." Logan buried his face in the crook of your neck, slamming hard into you until all you could do was chant his name like a prayer.

You felt him fill you up, pussy hot and sticky and sore, and he slowly pulled out, eyes darting at the tissues on the table. He grabbed them, gently cleaning you up, and you couldn’t stop the grin on your face. There was just something about a man like him be so gentle. And you were absolutely delighted to have him take care of you.

"You know," Logan said licking his lips, "I'm beginning to think you didn't want me to just taste your pastries."

"True." You told him smugly. "But you liked them."

"I like you more." He blurted out without thinking.

You felt your cheeks burn at his sudden honesty, and after sliding up your underwear and fixing your dress, you planted a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I like you too, honey badger."

"Don't ever call me that again." Logan chuckled.

"Not happening. Now, could you pleaaaase help me clean up this place? The last thing I need is a surprise hygiene inspection tomorrow."

He couldn't even imagine what the inspectors would do if they found out you had sex in a bakery, and with a nod, Logan zipped up his jeans and began disinfecting the tables and chairs while you swept the floor.

In less than half an hour you were done, and the shop was squeaky clean. You were satisfied with the end result, and told Logan that you wanted him to have the rest of the cake, pies and croissants. He thought Wade and Al could eat something, and decided to accept your offer.

"Can I come with you? There's quite a few boxes of food." You told him, a sheepish grin on your lips.

"Is that your way of finding out where I live?"

"Maybe. I'll go home if you don't want me with you."

"No, you're good." Logan assured you. "Besides, I'm sure my roommate's gonna devour everything. He'll probably lock you up in our apartment and force you to bake for him."

"I don't know if that's a threat or a promise." You laughed.

"Both. It's both."

You walked with Logan down the street, boxes in your arms, and you were surprised to see him open up to you more. He answered almost every question you had, and you felt him more relaxed. And he was. Logan forgot how much he needed that kind of connection with someone. You were so easy to talk to, you didn't judge him, and most importantly, you listened.

He guided you up the stairs to his apartment and knocked on the door, because he couldn't reach his keys with so many boxes in his arms. You baked for a damn army.

Wade opened the door, and you were taken aback by his appearance, but it didn't scare you. Instead, you introduced yourself as Logan's personal baker, earning a chuckle from him.

"Come on in, Martha Stewart." Wade opened the door enough for you to walk through it with the boxes and not drop them.

"Wade." Logan came back from the kitchen with a croissant. "Eat. Seriously, eat."

You watched Wade wolf down the pastry without hesitation and his eyes lit up. He chewed and swallowed, then moaned, eyes rolling back. The look of disgust on Logan's face was priceless.

"Holy fucking shit, Y/N, what the fuck did you put in this?" Wade grabbed your shoulders, giving them a good shake. "It's so flaky and creamy and buttery, like a bunch of unicorns came in my mouth."

"I'm glad you like it." You giggled. "Try the cake."

"There's cake?!" He ran to the kitchen, leaving you and Logan in the hallway before coming back, a slice of half-eaten cake in his hand. "I am officially impressed. Can you make Rocky Road?"

"Yes."

"Dulce de leche?"

"Yep."

"Baklava?"

"Uh-huh."

"Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte?"

"Yes, Wade!" You rolled your eyes, then turned to Logan. "Sugar rush?"

"Oh, you have no idea. And this is him on a good day."

"Listen, sweet cheeks, if old man fuckface here won’t marry you, I will. Just don’t tell Vanessa." Wade whispered.

"Don’t even think about it, you degenerate limp dick."

"Ugh, fine. And here I was hoping all four of us could be a happy dysfunctional family. Five if you count Al. Six with Colossus. Wait, actually, eight with-"

"Wade, have you tried the pork pies?" You asked, effectively shutting him up.

Yeah, Logan could definitely get used to being around you from now on to sweeten up his life.

#logan howlett #wolverine #mcu #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett smut #wolverine x reader #wolverine smut #fem!reader #marvel #deadpool 3

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saudadeko · 1 year

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ADHD tips from a girlie who was diagnosed in her late twenties and has had little to no support since and is being so brave about it:

1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.

2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? Buy it, you need it. It doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.

3) Expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there. Or mash them up with some mayo for egg salad sandwiches). Other easy proteins include: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style), and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).

4) Spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. For example: the only reason I remember to use sunscreen is because I bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so I get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!

5) If there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “I don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many-”, sounds a little stupid huh? But trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.

6) If you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way I start a task is just by going “Ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. Don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.

7) If you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. All this, “Put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out plus it’s a visual reminder. You can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.

8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.

9) If you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. Otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. Doing those smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.

10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. Now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.

11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE.

12) Motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because I remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. It’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? Neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? Fantastic. You’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? Superb. Lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.

13) Don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. If it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. I put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and I sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. If it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.

Go forth and prosper!!! xoxo ✌️🩵

#adhd #actually adhd #living with adhd #adhd tips #felt like writing these out for reference as needed

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stardust-maple · 1 year

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Edit: look I didn't do a good job explaining what these were for the first time so I've got a second edit at the bottom of the page that explains things better.

-----------------

I made my own pain and fatigue scale charts. Because I'm so adept at overcoming my symptoms the normal pain scale doesn't really work for me. I adjusted my numbers so that I could change the number into something I could tell a doctor when they inevitably ask me to rate my pain.

[Image Description: Pain Scale Chart with rainbow gradient background for each row, starting at red and ending at blue.

Row 1: Mine Drs Pain Scale Description

Row 2: 10 X I am not leaving my bedroom or bathroom, someone needs to bring me food and I need something to dull the pain or the pain will cause tears.

Row 3: 9 X I am not leaving my bedroom and bathroom for anything other than food.

Row 4: 8 10 Speaking is difficult. It is no longer practical to do activities outside of the bathroom or bedroom, but they can be done with assistance.

Row 5: 7 9 Necessary care activities are sacrificed. Academic activities and social activities can no longer be tolerated.

Row 6: 6 8 My pain is tiring. Paying attention is difficult. All activities require pacing and extra effort.

Row 7: 5 7 My pain is so distracting it is making me tired. It is hard to think. Necessary care activities are no longer all doable.

Row 8: 4 6 My pain is so distracting it is making me tired. It is harder to think. Necessary care activities are starting to be limited.

Row 9: 3 5 I can continue to do most activities

Row 10: 2 4 My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time

Row 11: 1 3 My pain bothers me, but I can ignore it most of the time.

Row 12: 0 2 I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it

Row 13: X 1 My pain is hardly noticeable

Row 14: X 0 I have no pain. END Image Description]

[Image Description:

Fatigue Scale Chart with rainbow gradient background for each row, starting at red and ending at blue.

Row 1: Mine Drs Fatigue Scale Description

Row 2: 10 X Can barely sit up, needs assistance to get out of bed. Holding conversations is impossible. Laying down for most of the day is necessary. It is difficult to eat. Focusing is strenuous.

Row 3: 9 X Able to walk and stand for short distances. Holding conversations is difficult. Laying down for most of the day is necessary. It is difficult to eat. Focusing is strenuous.

Row 4: 8 10 Able to walk and stand for short distances. Holding conversations is difficult. Sitting for long Periods of time is difficult. It is difficult to eat. Focusing is strenuous. Preparing a meal isn’t possible.

Row 5: 7 9 Holding conversations is difficult. Sitting or standing for long Periods of time is difficult. It is difficult to eat. Focusing is strenuous.

Row 6: 6 8 Sitting or standing for long Periods of time is difficult. It is difficult to eat. Focusing is difficult. Preparing a meal is difficult.

Row 7: 5 7 Standing or walking for long periods is difficult. It is difficult to eat. Focusing is difficult.

Row 8: 4 6 Standing or walking for long periods is difficult. Focusing is difficult.

Row 9: 3 5 Cooking for longer than 15 minutes is extremely challenging.

Row 10: 2 4 Not everything can be done in the day. Activities are slowed down. Difficult mental challenges are sacrificed.

Row 11: 1 3 Tiredness makes it difficult to enjoy fun activities.

Row 12: 0 2 Things take more effort than usual, but everything is still doable.

Row 13: X 1 Slightly tired but still able to carry on as normal

Row 14: X 0 Not tired at all

END Image Description.]

Feel free to use them yourself if you like them!

---------------

Edit p2:

So these charts I made them for showing people and using them to talk about my pain. The numbers are just sort of a reference point . The words are what's important. The fact that it is a relationship is what's significant.

I've got chronic pain and chronic fatigue. I'm never not in pain and I'm never not tired. These are based on the main pain and fatigue scales that I usually get shown at places that aren't specialized in treating pain or fatigue.

I use these when talking to my family, using the number that relates to the mine side. I use these with my non pain doctors who don't treat my pain or fatigue. I use the Drs number when talking to Drs. Anything that in those X spots is also 10. Drs don't like pain larger than 10 because they think you're faking it.

I made these after getting covid. It was about a year later and I still couldn't describe my pain in terms of the standard scale because I couldn't conceptualize pain properly because covid had completely broken my internal perception of pain intensity. Because I went from never having gone to 10/10 or ever being there for very long to about 2 weeks of what I could only describe as 13/10 pain. It was logarithmically higher than anything I my brain could process. And my brain didn't process it. I just sort of cried a lot, slowly.

If you are ever using a personalized pain scale or something you found online with a doctor you should show them what you're talking about. You need to make sure they understand you.

I posted this because I was having a hard time saying that while I was at a 3 in terms of abilities, I was in just as much pain as when I had been previously at a 5. I needed something that showed what I was talking about.

It feels very strange adding all these disclaimers so far after, but I've been thinking "it's too late" every time Ive realized someone might use it in a way that wouldn't help them. And then ignoring the problem for a while.

We've got 3k notes on this. People keep looking at it. The disclaimers are nessesary. I'm sorry they weren't there before.

I just remembered that I specifically made this because I needed to be able to point at a number and have my parents be able to know what that meant. They don't have training in the pain scale. They don't know what it means. But they do know what I mean now when I say I'm at a 6. They understand me.

The point is, this says that it's used for talking to doctors and it's really not. It's for my family mostly. And my PCP who keeps asking what pain I'm at and I just need to say a number that communicates the thing she wants to know (that's why the Drs thing is on there. That's the number she needs. She doesn't care. It's weird. She's weird.)

But it is mostly for my family. It's for describing how I'm doing.

Do not use this in emergencies!!! Do not use this with pain specialists without showing it to them!!!

#chronic illness #chronic pain #chronic condition #disability #chronic fatigue #cfs/me #chronically ill #spoonie #amps #disabled #actually chronically ill #actually disabled #stardust maple #pain scale #fatigue scale #chronic fatigue scale #chronic pain scale #long post

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crucialplayer · 1 year

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Thoughts on Mars placements

!! everything is based purely on my experiences with signs, written with no other purpose than to share my observations and be unserious.

Aries mars. Practical jokes lovers, gentle touch haters. Hit u while laughing. Love the banter, sometimes a lil too much. Go for it (whatever it is) fiercely and without a single backthought. Explosive in conflict, but in a sense of crying screaming throwing up banging against the wall.

Taurus mars. Life could be on Mars but they still be going on and on about that one thing. Sudden outbursts of anger. It might seem out of the blue but they’ve probably been brooding some hurt for a long time. They just hoped it’d go away… naturally. Also surprisingly horny.

Gemini mars. Mind fuckers. That one guy defending polygamy «as a concept» rather too enthusiastically. Can talk their way out of hell with one leg already in the hottest boiling cauldron. I suppose it’s a placement most people will find charming at some point (says a lot about society…).

Cancer mars. Rumors are true, the sky is blue, and they are manipulative. Watching anybody else display vulnerability is the same as watching a children’s play to them. Ur rawest and most disturbing moment? To a cancer mars its a chill Tuesday morning. Humanization of a silent treatment.

Leo mars. You’d gather that its serious by the sheer scale of their reaction but I promise its not. 9 times out of 10 will cause a huge scene and won't be able to remember it 2 days after. Very defensive. Won't put themselves out there if they’re not guaranteed a 10-minute standing ovation.

Virgo mars. They believe that they make sense but usually they don't. They’re calculating but it��s like they do it backwards resulting in some of the most unhinged decisions made. Want to be praised for… um… existing as they are. Kind of a menace in conflict.

Libra mars. If u think it's hard for you to wait for them to make up their mind imagine how they feel. It’s similar to watching a plant move without a time-lapse. Cry when they’re angry. Go with the flow not because they’re chill but more cause it's easier for them.

Scorpio mars. They ARE vengeance and I'm scared. Slash 3 tires after one fight mars. Not the person you’d try to make jokingly jealous. For further information read the lyrics to… really any Taylor Swift song.

Sagittarius mars. Don't think before they do and think after they’ve done smth only if u make them. The kind of people that will try everything once just to know how it feels (and then present that to everyone as if they’ve found god by bungee jumping one time). Very easy to dare. Also are always checking someone out.

Capricorn mars. Blood is cold, the heart is beating twice per minute. ISN’T IT lonely on top of the world fellas??? If u get them to like u your love language better not be words of affirmation. Instead of arguing chances are high they disappear for a while or just go into a rock regime.

Aquarius mars. Are only attracted to intellectuals so naturally in a room full of sweet gentle people will go for the most narcissistic motherfucker out there. They’re sorta very patient but I feel maybe it's just them dissociating… Ponder a lot before making a move.

Pisces mars. I'm afraid no one knows whats going on there. It's like they’re never actually present. Therefore often times can have a delayed reaction to smth, which people might read as passive aggression. Very sentimental, will write u a song or a poem on a second date. Also low LOW energy.

#astro notes #astro observations #natal chart #mars placements #aries mars #taurus mars #gemini mars #cancer mars #leo mars #virgo mars #libra mars #scorpio mars #sagittarius mars #capricorn mars #aquarius mars #pisces mars #zodiac signs

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97linelover · 3 months

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Better off without me - Kim Mingyu

18+ / mdi

summary: nearly 10 years.. that´s the time you´ve been with Kim Mingyu. But what if his plans about the future are not the same as yours?

What if the guy you love the most breaks your heart within seconds?

content: Idol Mingyu x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff, smut

wc: 3.8 k

a/n: I really love reading your guys opinion about my stories.

They say that after 10 years, you will be together forever.

After 10 years, you'll know each other's biggest flaws.

But what if 10 years meant nothing in the end?

You met him when you were 13; you just changed schools; he was the first one to talk to you. He was your first friend.

Your first friend took you out at night.

Your first real friend.

Your first kiss.

It was your first time having sex.

This is your first real relationship.

Your first apartment together.

This is your first time saying I love you.

Your first love.

And also your first heartbreak.

Kim Mingyu was the man who pushed you away, fast and painfully.

And the worst part? You did not notice.

It has been 9 years; next week it would've been 10 years. 10 years of you two together in a relationship.

Mingyu currently spends a lot of time in the studio; they had a comeback prepared. 4 months from now on until their comeback would be there.

You had been with him for every comeback until now; you were always at the front, supporting them. Your second family.

Seungkwan always went out with you for brunch; Joshua went shopping with you; and Wonwoo just talked to you for hours.

You were sure about Mingyu being your future.

When Joshua took you out to get a manicure and pedicure, you thought of nothing; when Jeonghan took you to buy yourself a pretty dress and some heels, you felt all giddy.

When you were styled perfectly, your hair falling perfectly over your shoulder, and your make-up done, you knew tonight was the night.

And when you were sitting in front of the man you loved deeply, you carried the entire world in your eyes.

The eyes Mingyu loved so deeply.

As you were giggling along to his jokes as you sipped on your wine, your perfect manicure was present as always.

Mingyu treated you like a princess.

He treated you like he always said, „You're the one that always supported me, baby; in the end, I'll spoil you like a queen.".

Mingyu made sure you were always taken care of; even if you did not need any of it, it was his priority.

„Baby," he whispered, taking your hand in his. The music was playing softly—your favorite song. The tears were prickling in your eyes. „You can probably imagine why we are here tonight," he smiled softly. He felt something tuck inside his chest.

The velvet box in his hand was making you beam with joy, but he suddenly let his hand down. „I can't do it," he whispered, swallowing the biggest lump he ever had in his throat.

He let go of your hand, and you felt all the air leaving your lungs. "Gyu," you whispered, confused. „What do you mean?"

Mingyu got up. „I can't marry you; I can't," he whispered, placing a couple of bills on the table. „Gyu, what the fuck are you talking about?" You got up, and the red wine got knocked over. You followed him outside. „Baby, please talk to me," you pleaded, and he walked to the car.

"You can't marry me, but why this? Why the ring? Are those years not enough?" you sobbed.

„I thought they were; I'm not sure about this anymore," he was shaking.

„What do you mean by this?" You pulled his arm so that he would look at you.

„Fuck Y/N, I CANT MARRY YOU BECAUSE I FUCKING FEEL UNDER PERMANENT PRESSURE WITH YOU," he screamed at you, so that you flinched at his words.

You could not utter a word: "You... what?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

"You're better off without me. I have tried to break it off a few times now. Wonwoo told me to try it, that the engagement will light up another spark," he rubbed over his face. „I thought I'd never tell you; I thought I could pull this off," he whispered, and he avoided your gaze at all costs.

„You're joking, right?" You said with a quivering voice, „Please tell me that this is not true." You felt your knees buckle. „We don't need to get married; you don't need to lie," you basically pleaded.

„I'll pack my things; I'll be gone by tonight," he said, opening the door of his car. „You can't do this to me, Gyu; you're the love of my life." You felt the tears running down your face by now.

„We grew apart by now, Y/N," he shrugged, getting inside the car. „I'm sorry for doing it like that."

„What do you mean? What is happening? I don't understand where this is coming from; we were happy, we were perfect for each other; you really want to leave me here." You held on to the car handle.

„Please let go," he whispered.

„So you really broke me while trying to propose," you gasped, taking a step back. „You really did that," you whispered while turning around, falling to your knees and sobbing. „Please get up; don't make a scene, please," he said, and you looked up at him. „Get the fuck away from me," you spat.

How could he be this cold after all those years?

Mingyu felt his heart break, but you did not see his emotions on the inside. How could you?

Seeing you like this is the worst scenario.

„I'll let Wonwoo Hyung know to get you," he said while driving off. He parked the car somewhere he could see you getting picked up by Wonwoo. He watched how he lifted you up—your fragile, sobbing body. How he buckled you up and drove away.

He did not see how you entered the apartment or how Wonwoo followed you, making you tea.

How have you tried to call him a thousand times?

How you packed your bags and how you called your parents to tell them that your trip to Germany with Mingyu would be cancelled because he did not feel so well.

How they told you that you could come alone, and how you agreed.

How you spent the entire night crying over a man you spent all your life with, how you threw away the dress, and how you slammed all the picture frames against the wall.

When he opened the door to the apartment the next day to grab some things, he found you gone. He saw the missing suitcase, and he found a letter on his nightstand.

„Gyu,

or Mingyu, I don't even know if I can call you any pet names anymore. I really don't know what has just happened; I can't get my head around this situation. I try to find the problem; I try to think about all the possibilities of what could've happened.

We were so happy—at least I was.

You, Kim Mingyu, were the reason for my happiness and for all the beautiful moments.

You helped me become the woman I am today, and I'm thankful for that.

My mom always taught me that things happen for a reason.

I don't know what the reason is now, but I'll try to live my life.

But I hope you understand that we will never have any kind of relationship—neither friends nor lovers. You broke my heart; you had now shame and no mercy. You did not care about me in the slightest. After nearly 10 years, you dumped me like a fucking trash bag.

Kim Mingyu I want you to be happy. I want seventeen to reach all the goals you've dreamed of; you guys are amazing.

With us being separated, I need to distance myself from my second family. Because how am I supposed to hang out with your best friends? You took it all away from me, but that's okay.

I'll survive.

Please stay healthy and happy.

I love you, Mingyu, with all my heart.

Your Y/N

"P.S. tell Jihoon that he can use all the audio snippets I recorded for him."

When Mingyu finished the letter, he felt the wetness on his cheek. He was sobbing.

He had lost the only person he had ever loved.

And now you were gone; he knew you were visiting your parents. He looked at the velvet box and choked on his sob.

Maybe in another time you both will get your deserved happy ending.

But as for now, you both needed to fix your broken souls.

Six months have passed since you last visited Seoul.

It's been six months since you've last worked inside the office.

It's been six months since you've seen him.

SVT invited you to their release party, and you were pretty sure you would not go, but as time passed, you wanted to be there.

You missed them so badly, and you thought maybe you wouldn't even see him.

Well, you were a fool.

The first thing you saw when you entered the building was the large frame of your ex-lover. He was standing next to Chan and Jihoon.

Nice, exactly the two people you wanted to see.

But before they could see you, you walked toward the bar.

You were happy that the location was crowded and people were not paying attention. With your cocktail in your hand, you walked around looking at the different album promotion pictures.

There was this one picture you could not stop looking at; it was Mingyu in the studio. It looked normal, but as you looked closer, you could see the ring he was wearing. The one you got him as a promise ring.

„He's not doing well." A voice startled you. „Nonu," you gasped, and he chuckled. „He's miserable, Y/N. Ever since you left, he has done the bare minimum."

You sighed, "Well, he wanted that, Nonu; he was the one that pushed me away. I was sure that he would be the one I'd marry, but suddenly he did not care about a thing." You tried to end this conversation.

„It's not how it seems, Y/N; there are some parts of the story you don't know; you should talk to him," he pecked your head. „I'm really happy you're here," and with that, he walked towards some other guests.

You tried not to think about his words, but it was harder than you thought.

As you made your way through the venue, you spotted some of the boys. „Y/N!!!!" Seungkwan yelled and ran towards you. „Hi kwannie," you giggled as he hugged you tight.

Cheol and the others also greeted you, but when Mingyu was standing in front of you, his brown eyes basically pleading for forgiveness, you felt like crying.

You were quick to avoid his gaze, but you felt it on you the entire time. „Excuse me," you said to Jeonghan, „I need to get a refill." You smiled, escaping the situation. The heels made it a lot harder to walk away with fast steps. You felt Mingyus presence behind you, „Y/N," he said while stopping you.

„What do you want?" You asked with a stable voice, and he gulped down at your tone. „I want to talk," he whispered as you ordered another drink, gulping it down.

"Now you want to talk?" You scoffed, "You ditched me after nearly ten years; you treated me like a random girl. After everything I did for you," you walked past him, "I will not talk to you tonight.".

Well, now that the night had changed, you were sitting on top of Mingyu, throwing your head back while riding him like you loved to. How he guided your hips with his long, slender fingers digging into your flesh.

The familiarity of your bodies made it so easy to feel good.

"Oh god, your pussy is so good," he groaned while you moved even faster. "Oh fuck," you said, feeling yourself getting close to the end, and you were a moaning mess.

When you both reached your highs, Mingyu tossed the condom away, and you suddenly felt sober. You gathered your clothes while Mingyu cleaned himself up. "What are you doing?" he asked, confused, and you walked past him. "Hey," he said, grabbing your arm. "Let go of me," you said, ashamed of yourself.

"Please stay," he whispered, but you could only choke out a sob. "This should not have happened, Gyu," you whispered, and he felt his heart clench at your words. "You don't mean that, baby; we were so good," he pleaded, holding on to you.

feeling that if he lets you go now, you're gone forever.

"You broke me, Mingyu; I spent the last six months trying to fix what you destroyed." You pulled your arm away and said, "So no, Mingyu, I won't stay just because you decided you still wanted me." You walked away.

"I always wanted you; I could just not tell you the truth." He whispered, but you did not hear it.

You tried your best to ignore this feeling of missing him, but you couldn't; your heart yearned for him. Kim Mingyu was the man your heart belonged to.

With each passing day, you realize that you need to talk to him, that you need to know what happened, and that he pushed you away.

When you heard your phone vibrating, you rushed to your desk, where it was lying.

You saw Wonwoo's name on there: "Nonu? Is everything alright?" you asked when you answered the call.

"I'm fine, but can you do me a favor?" You raised your eyebrows, confused. "What is it, Nonu?"

"Come to the recording studios, please," he breathed. "What is happening there, Nonu?" You were getting nervous, and he chuckled slightly and said, "Be there by 7 p.m., please." With that, he ended the call.

You were pretty sure this was about Mingyu, and you were ready to find out.

So you got ready, put on some comfy pants and a hoodie, slipped on your sneakers, and rushed to the bus.

After a 30-minute journey, you were in front of the building you once visited regularly. "Y/N, oh my, it's been a long time," Juna said with open arms, pulling you into a hug. "Yes, sorry, I was so busy." You lied, and she looked at you. "We all know what happened, love, and I can totally understand that you wanted to have some distance." She smiled softly at you.

"So, have you seen Wonwoo?" You giggled, and she nodded. "He was here; he gave me this envelope for you and told me to guide you inside." You nodded, following her.

You sat down, opening the envelope.

You took a deep breath when you realized it was Mingyu's handwriting.

"My beloved Y/N, I never thought the day would come that I would need to write those words to you and that I would push you away. The only person that I ever loved. Y/N, there are so many things I did not tell you; I couldn't. I did everything I could so that I could act like this did not affect me, but in the end, I suffered in silence. The members talked to me, and they told me I'm just the corpse of myself. And they are right; I'm barely eating and barely active; actually, I'm working out even more because it takes my mind off, even if it's just for a few minutes. I want to tell you why I did it and why everything escalated. It all started with our comeback. We got a new manager, a woman whose name was Heejin. She was not nice at all; she told us dating was a no-go, and we told her that some of us were happily taken. She just laughed at that. After a while, she began to manipulate us; she told us that we were not good enough, and every day she told us that no one could love an idol. I began to believe her; we all did. I wanted to bury myself in a hole; I felt like a burden. Believe me when I tell you, I wanted to propose. When I looked into your sparkling eyes that night, I felt my heart bursting with love, but then the words of Heejin came back to my mind, and I could not do it anymore. I wanted you to be happier. I thought I could not give you this happiness. But god damn, baby, believe me when I tell you that you are my happiness; you're all I ever wanted. I can't live without you; I miss you, and I need you... Hopefully someday you can look me in the eyes again and realize how much I adore you. I love you.

Your Mingyu"

You looked up, letting the tears roll down your cheeks. You never realized how he felt, and you could scream at yourself for that.

The TV turned on inside the small room. "And today we have Seventeens Mingyu here, covering one of the saddest heartbreak songs at the moment."

When the melody began to play, you felt the goosebumps rising.

He was singing Kim Feel's Someday, the Boy, your favorite song.

You were lying on the couch, your heating pad on your tummy, while Mingyu was making you a fresh peppermint tea. It was this time of the month that every woman hated. You were currently watching a new drama called Itaewon Class, and you could not stop the tears. "Baby, what's wrong?" Mingyu hurried over to you, but you could only sob. "Oh, baby, you're too nice; you're always crying over movies," he chuckled while pulling you closer. "Can you someday cover this song?" You whispered, "This would be the perfect song to fix my broken heart." You looked up at him, and he softly kissed you. "Hopefully, I never need to fix your broken heart," he said, kissing your head.

When you heard his deep voice singing the words of the song, you tried your best to stay strong.

"The sad memories in my heart

I can't erase it with the tears I shed. Where should I start deleting it? Only empty laughter"

You could see the teary eyes, and you were sobbing once again. His knuckles were white from how tight he grabbed the microphone.

"A long time in the future, that person back then

Do you have everything you dreamed of?"

He finished the song with one tear running down his cheek, and then the TV got dark. People cheered after he finished, and you could not believe it.

You jumped up, hurrying through the corridor. "He's in there," Juna said, pointing towards the dressing rooms. In this exact moment, you knew that Mingyu was your forever, and you wanted it.

You rushed into the room, and he looked up. "Y/N," he said breathlessly. "I read it, I watched it, and now I am a mess," you whispered, your mind completely occupied by him.

"But I realized that I just can't move on; you are what I want." His dark brown eyes watched you carefully. "You are more than enough for me, Gyu; you are enough." You walked towards him, and he watched every move you made.

"How can you be so understanding when I messed up our entire relationship?" He had tears in his eyes, but you only pulled him close. "Because I promised you, Mingyu, we both are the endgame," you said, wiping the tears away. "I love you," you whispered, and you kissed him softly.

He did not hesitate one second and pulled you close while his one hand was softly in your neck. This kiss was full of desperation and love.

You walked with him until he landed on the couch with you on top, straddling him.

The way you undressed each other was skilled; you knew each other's bodies blindly; your whimpers were like the best song he has ever heard; and the way his tongue twirled around your hardened nipples made you crazy.

The way you were bouncing on his dick made him lose his mind; he felt like he would go insane with every passing minute. The way you whispered in his ear how much you missed this made his eyes roll to the back of his head.

"I'm going to cum, baby," he groaned, and you nodded. "Fill me up, please. Wanna feel it?" You moaned, and you brought him over the edge. He held you so close that you clawed your nails into his back until you both just calmed down against each other.

And when you both lay in his bed with only some white sheets covering your bodies, he opened his nightstand. "Marry me," he whispered into your ear, and your eyes widened, letting out a gasp. "Gyu," you said, feeling the tears in your eyes.

"I´m so sure, like I´ve never been before; you´re all I want, and I can't wait to spend my forever with you, so Y/N, please marry me." He opened the velvet box, and you nodded. "Yes," you squealed while kissing him.

"I love you so much, baby; you make me so happy," he said while putting the ring on your finger. "Us forever, Gyu," you kissed him softly.

#seventeen #kpop #seventeen angst #svt #au #gyu #mingyu #mingyu imagines #smut #mingyu x reader #mingyu angst

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diamond-flavored-whump · 1 year

Text

Best ways to restrain your Whumpees (a subjective scale)

Tied to a chair: 7/10. Classic, gets the job done. Rub their skin raw while you're at it.

Cuffed to the chair: 9/10. The more cuffs the better. Sure, cuff each wrist to an arm chair. But what if you also cuffed their wrists together with just enough slack so their circulation doesn't cut off? ... what if you didn't give them enough slack? What about their legs?

Chained to the chair: 4/10. Oppressive weight is nice and all, but unless you know what you're doing, these are easy to slide off and best used alongside other methods.

Strapped to the chair: 6/10. Better suited for impersonal settings.

Duct taped to the chair: 7/10. Potential 9/10 if you rip the tape off every time you move them. Do you do it hard and fast, listen to their sudden scream? Or do you do it slowly, savor each pitiful little whimper?

(Surgery required) Put magnets in their wrists: 9/10. Make them try to lift their arms, only to feel like their skin is ripping from the inside. Make sure they know you put the magnets in there. Nothing that will make them sick, you reassure. Just making sure they can't go anywhere without you un-magnetizing the arm rests.

Chained to the wall: 7/10. How much room do they have? Is it only one wrist, both on the same chain? Each one on opposite sides of the room? What about ankles? Do their steps rattle? Can they toss and turn in bed without making any noise?

Chained/cuffed to the floor: 10/10. Absolute humiliation. Forced to kneel, bow their head, cower like a dog before you. Their restraints holding them down every time they try to rise against you, reminding them of their place.

Ankles chained to a pole: 6/10. Oh sure, you can run. You just can't go very far. An interesting idea, but overall mediocre.

Leash wrapped around a pole: 8/10. Leave your pet unable to wander too far, perhaps keep their food bowl just out of reach. Make them dependent on you for bathroom breaks, food, and water.

Tied to a beam/pole: 8/10. How big is the pole? Are they tied so tight that all they can do is squeeze their shoulder blades together, and every time they try to relax the ropes tug them back? Is it large enough that their entire arms can wrap around it? A little too big for that? Did you tie up their feet as well?

Tied horizontally to a beam/pole: 9/10. So many ways this could go! Arms and legs above them like they're a pig on a spit, or one of those rotisserie chickens in the grocery store. Arms below, facing up, like they're laying in bed. Forced to look down at how high up they are, unable to do anything to get down.

Dangling by their wrists: 8/10. Once again, a classic choice. Rope or cuffs work here.

Dangling by their hair: 2/10. Not a long-term solution, hair will be pulled out. Only works with certain Whumpees. Only suited for short-term punishments.

Dangling by their neck: 7/10 if done right. Once again, a temporary solution best used to scare and threaten your Whumpee. I cannot overstate that you must be careful with this method if you like to reuse Whumpees. Remember to let your Whumpee down once they pass out!!

Dangling by their leash and collar: 6/10. Same concerns as above.

Dangling by their waist: 4/10. Has some potential, but have not seen it used much if at all.

Dangling by their ankles/feet: 5/10. A good way to disorient and weaken your Whumpee, but must be used in moderation. Excessive blood rush to the head can cause permanent damage and makes your Whumpee less fun to play with.

Standing in water: 4/10. A good short-term punishment, but can cause loss of toes and even feet of water gets too cold. Proceed with caution.

Gags: 9/10! Good for defiant Whumpees, Whumpees in transport, ones who can't learn the lesson not to speak. Just remember to take it off when you want to hear their screams.

Small rooms, holes in the ground, boxes: 8/10. Less about restraint, more containment, but still gets the point across. They cannot escape you, no matter how much they wish to.

I reiterate, leashes: 10/10. Hold their leash at all times, and you'll know when they try to run away.

#whumpblr #whump #whump scenario #your whump words of the day #whump writing #whump tropes #whump prompt #whumpee #whumper #restrained #captivity #captive whumpee #pet whump

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mrs-weasley-reid · 2 months

Note

hi hiiiii! I was wondering if you could do a Hotch x reader where there’s maybe an age gap and it’s based on Peter by Taylor swift? I’m obsessedddd with that song. Thankssss <3

PROMISES NEVER TO KEEP

Aaron Hotchner x reader

Synopsis: He said he'll change. You believed he'd change. It's no one's fault, really. Waiting forever is just too long for heartache. WARNING: angst. pure free writing. 700+ word count. not proofread!!! A/N: tysm for this req!!! The age gap was vague, and honestly, the gap is like 9-10 yrs, r around late 20s. Also can anyone believe I sat, played the song, wrote along, and called it a day? The power of a TS song is just unmatched. I strongly suggest listening to the song while reading it.

Aaron’s late.

Again.

You stare at the empty seat across from you. Then, glance at the loud ticking over the mantle. Ten past eleven. Dinner was eight.

Deep inhales mixed with salty tears you aren’t aware have been flowing for the past five minutes enter your lungs. There’s a tug in your chest that you swear to be a phantom. You smile ever so softly with a sniff as you tuck your head to study the cold dinner on your plate.

Was it too last minute? Was it on you?

You told Aaron about dinner two months ago. He said he had it written down and made a note on his phone’s calendar. He said he’d make it this time. Was he lying?

The pit of your stomach sinks. And you wonder what else he lies about.

Hot, achy streams trail down a path on your cheeks. You stand and clear out the table, covering his serving and throwing out yours. You watch as the residue drains down the sink.

Aaron promised.

And you believed it like any other promises he’d broken before.

And you’ll believe him again and again and again until there are no more promises he could outswore.

And it’s depressing because you know you’ll forgive him every single time like a chore.

And it’s heartbreaking because he’ll make the same promises.

And it hurts to know he’ll never keep any of it.

Because he’s Aaron Hotchner. The man who saves lives. The man who put away monsters. The man who’s done many good things to the world. The man who caught your heart and dropped it many times, just for him to fix it with a consolation smile.

Aaron once said you're his favorite book. He's read you enough times to know the important lines in mind. Just never enough to notice the spaces in between by heart. Maybe it's your fault for being easy to read. Or you're just not smart enough to read Aaron. Not mature enough to understand his limbs of idioms.

And Aaron tries. God knows you try. He does his best, and you do yours. It's no one's fault that his best is so little, and your best goes unnoticed.

You zip around your luggage, taking a moment to see how empty the drawer Aaron saved just for you. What will he put there now?

A familiar tune rings. The tightness on your chest, along with the sobs that echo in the empty bedroom, muffle his call into a far buzzing sound.

With a sharp gulp to clear the ache in your throat, you pick up, “[Hey, honey…]”

He won’t show.

Again.

But he promised. Your heart cries in agony. And you hug your middle like a child who deserves everything the world can offer as you reply, I know.

Where are you?

When are you coming home?

Why aren’t you here?

“Hey, sweet man,” Comes out of your lips, masking a shaky sob.

There’s a sigh on the other end, “[I’m sorry. I won’t make it to dinner. Did you wait long?]”

You always do. You wait until the daylight peeks in the window. Wait for him to return every single time.

“After almost burning the house down. I think you would’ve waited longer if you had come.” The laugh comes out damp. You like to think you’re getting better at it. Lying to make him feel better.

He hums. “[I’m sure it still would’ve tasted amazing.]” Aaron wouldn’t have known. He hasn’t known what your amazing cooking tastes like for a long time because he’s never shown up for a very long time.

You wipe your tears and take a deep breath before staring into the place you’d once ached to call your home. Reminded by a series of his apologies and empty promises. The place where you burned all by yourself like a candle in the middle of winter.

And now’s the final flicker of your light.

“[Still there, honey?]”

You give your best to sound naturally groggy, “Sorry, handsome… I had an early morning.” A lie over your breath.

“[Go ahead and rest. I’ll see you when I get home?]”

You grab the handle of your luggage. Memories of his sweet words flicker, clutching onto false hopes.

You make a promise that you’ll call him to explain.

To end things maturely.

To offer closure.

To meet acceptance.

To move on.

You promise to grow better as a person so that you’d understand an increment of the reason why he can’t make you his person.

You promise to cross Aaron’s path again one day. When he’s old and gray. When you don’t need to pray. When you know, he’ll stay.

Placing the spare keys on the bowl, your fingers press the switch to dark.

“See you when you get home.”

It’s a promise you won’t keep.

hotch masterlist | masterlist

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner angst #aaron x reader #aaron hotch x reader #ssa aaron hotchner #aaron hotch x you #aaron hotch hotchner #hotch angst #criminal minds #criminalminds #aaron hotchner criminal minds #agent aaron hotchner #aaron hotch angst #rehotch

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flawseer · 8 days

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Ok, these time rate me the Jade WInglets

I've been sitting on this work-in-progress picture for so many months now. Maybe if I post it here, I'll finally sit down and finish it.

Very long post incoming.

Discussing the Jade Winglet

Okay. So, you want me to rate the Jade Winglet group. That’s going to be very easy: I love all of them.

It’s also going to be extraordinarily hard because... well... I love all of them. How am I supposed to put them into an ordered list? It can’t be done. So I guess what I’m going to do is: First I will put them into a tier list, and then I’m going to just talk about each of them individually for a bit.

But on account of aforementioned adoration I have for all of these guys, said tier list is going to be very lopsided. The tiers are going to be “I adore them with the intensity of seven suns”, “I really like them”, and “I very much like them, but...”. You’re going to have to imagine that there are five or so more unused tiers below that.

Let’s unceremoniously get that ranking out of the way first. From top to bottom, the tiers are:

I adore Turtle, Qibli, and Winter.

I really like Moonwatcher, Kinkajou, and Peril.

I very much like Umber and Carnelian.

As for more in-depth commentary, here is a disclaimer: When I think about these guys I mostly consider books 6 (Moon Rising) to 9 (Talons of Power) and the first half of 10 (Darkness of Dragons). The second half of 10... if I’m being honest, I didn’t really enjoy it. I don’t want to go into it too much here, if you really want me to talk about my misgivings with the second arc finale, put a message about it in my inbox (it’s not just the obvious thing; it actually mostly pertains to Winter and the absolute nightmare ending he got saddled with, and some very unfortunate character implications).

Some of my musings are also going to be a bit critical. I just want it to be clear that I make these observations as a fan of the series. It’s a good practice to think critically even about media that you like. It helps you better understand why you like it in the first place. Also, I make no demands to be agreed with. This is just how I see it.

Anyway, enough stalling, let’s get into it. Not in order:

Turtle

CW: Parental abuse

Turtle is the most wonderful thing to ever happen in the history of the universe. I wake up every morning and the first thought in my head is “Ugh, another day in this backwards reality where Turtle is not real! No thanks!!” Then I go right back to sleep disappointed until the next day. Okay, maybe that’s a bit hyperbolic. But I do think that everyone’s lives would be greatly improved if Turtle was real.

Turtle is a very vibrant and insightful character who, much like Winter, is unfortunately cursed with a pair of malicious and incompetent "parents". Some of his scenes really hurt to get through if you’re a parent yourself or have ever had parental feelings. The first scene he is in, when Moon observes him arriving at the academy, his mother makes a passing comment about how Turtle has no value because he cannot inherit the throne. Turtle is within earshot when she does this. And he has no overt reaction to it, which to me hints that Coral asserts this about her male children so frequently that he has accepted her line of thinking and internalized it. He just accepts it as the truth. That is heartbreaking.

And then there is his father, mild-mannered and ostensibly gentle Gill, who killed Turtle’s budding interest in writing as well as the entirety of his self-confidence back when he was a kid, by assigning a little boy a task that was well beyond him (and only to him, even though there were more people present who could have helped), and then made him believe he killed his unborn sister when Turtle inevitably couldn’t do what he was asked. The narrative really tries to make Gill sympathetic in that moment by insisting he’s speaking in anger and doesn’t really mean it, but um, no. I don’t buy it, dude. You just gave a little kid a lifelong guilt complex because you couldn’t think of asking more people for help. Or taking the egg with you while you left the hatchery. Or telling Turtle to take a message to the palace guard so someone who didn’t still have their milk teeth could mount a proper, organized search while interim guards were posted in the hatchery. Or literally any of the thousands of other options that didn’t require traumatizing your own son.

As a result, Turtle became emotionally reclusive. He registers to others as dull, placid, unpassionate, and boring, like he cares about nothing and is content to never strive for or achieve anything in his life. He himself explains that writing used to be something he was into at some point, but then lost interest in. But I don’t think he has. He still loves literature and thinking about stories, he's still doing it in his internal monologue. He just denies it because he subconsciously feels the need to punish himself. I imagine he still gets that drive sometimes, to sit down and start writing again. But every time he thinks about it, or catches himself wanting anything, his father’s voice resurfaces in his mind, telling him that he killed his sister and doesn’t deserve it. And then he self-punishes by depriving himself of everything he loves doing and every positive emotion associated with it. Because he is convinced he is guilty for failing his father, when in actuality, the opposite is true.

The tragedy is that, if Gill had known how much damage he caused and wasn’t in a situation where he needed a flowchart to keep his 30+ sons apart, he probably would have apologized. He doesn’t strike me as malicious, just horribly, horribly incompetent as a parent. But as things played out, Gill is no longer able to fix his mistake. The only person who can now grant Turtle the forgiveness he needs is himself. I hope he will be able to do it.

Turtle truly is an endearing character and a wonderful son undeserved by his parents. If I could adopt him right now I would. In fact, I’m gonna do it. Hold on while I get the papers. Wait, I have to finish? Uh... okay.

Moonwatcher

In a sense, Moonwatcher may be the most interesting character in the entire cast. She certainly had the potential to be my favorite character period. But there are a few points holding her back.

The thing about Moonwatcher is that, more than any other character, she requires meticulous care and attention to detail to be written well. The reason for this is that, when you’re writing for Moon, you also technically write for every character she interacts with. She is written brilliantly in her own book, since the narrative is allowed to focus on her; Moon Rising may thus actually be my favorite book of the second arc. It’s very enrapturing, seeing her navigate the academy’s social dynamics after growing up as, essentially, a feral jungle child, and battling with her own feelings of loneliness and inadequacy.

The thing is though... Wings of Fire has a bit of an odd quirk. Something I’ve noticed with regards to its writing is that, whenever a character is not particularly in focus during a scene, they often get reduced to their most basic traits and will rigidly act according to them regardless of prior context or external factors. I call this phenomenon “Auto-pilot”. If you’ve read my Mail Call #3, this is what I think happened to Tsunami during the second arc—Tsunami’s basic traits are that she is bossy, emotional, and blunt, so she spends the entirety of her page time as a deep-sea-themed wrecking ball who yells at everyone and dismisses everything as “ugh, nightwing powers” and “Peril was bad in book 1 once, I hate her forever”, despite having other, more pressing matters to prioritize.

Whenever Moonwatcher gets set to auto-pilot, it is very depressing. She needs careful, attentive writing to shine, and whenever she doesn’t get it she turns from the most interesting character into a dull brick that recites exposition and occasionally exists to be fawned after by boys. Tragically, the auto-pilot hits her bad after Winter’s book is done, and she never manages to escape it afterwards, save for maybe one or two scenes. There is a particularly egregious example in book 10 that, in my opinion, does permanent, irreversible damage to her character. It’s all a bit soul-crushing if dwelt on.

So yeah, I like Moonwatcher. I really do. I just wish the strong way she was written could have carried through the entire arc.

Winter

CW: Parental abuse

I initially didn’t really know what to make of Winter when I read Moon’s book. He seemed kind of like a buttface who was needlessly hostile and unapproachable. But he really comes into his own in his book, and looking back at his earlier scenes with that new context makes it all make sense. He became one of my stand-out favorites after that.

Winter really has a lot in common with Turtle, so much so that I wish those two actually had some deeper interactions with each other. Like, at one point Turtle saves his life, you’d think they would want to talk about that some time. Where Turtle’s parents are one half malicious, one half incompetent, Winter’s are pure malice AND incompetence. Blessed with three children, they managed to completely ruin one of them, almost ruin the other, and then the third one is kind of out of focus so I don’t know how he is faring, but I doubt there is a lot of love there either.

In a way, you can draw a lot of parallels between Winter and Icicle, and Zuko and Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender—The unfavorite who tries to do right but constantly fails to live up to his father’s/parents' warped standards, and the prodigy who seemingly has her father’s/parents' approval but secretly suffers from the abusive parenting just as much, but in different ways. Hailstorm then tries to take on the role of Iroh, an older figure that acts as a source of positivity and genuine love, and offers a reprieve from the abuse. But where Iroh is an adult drawing from a lifetime of wisdom, Hailstorm is just the slightly older sibling who comes from the same abusive household battling the same demons, so his effectiveness in countering the toxicity is limited.

Where Zuko pursues honor, Winter strives to be strong. Both his parents and his sister perceive him as weak and label him irrelevant. While this hurts him deeply, I don’t think Winter fully surrendered to his inferiority complex until he heard his brother mirror the same sentiment at him. Winter is repressed and struggles with processing his emotions—Thus he heard the words Hailstorm only said to save his life and took them at face value. Even the person he loves the most, the only source of affection and affirmation in his life, thinks he is weak. This is what drives Winter to feverishly desire strength and thus adopt a persona of the strongest thing he knows: a stoic Icewing warrior.

This is why he acts the way he does in book 6: aloof, threatening, unapproachable, invincible. But all of these traits are diametrically opposed to his actual personality, which is warm, compassionate, and just wanting to be loved for who he is. So whenever Moon reads his mind, he comes across as a confused mess of conflicting emotions. Because he is pretending to be something he isn’t.

The interesting thing here is that Winter actually is genuinely strong. He is just unable to recognize his own worth, due to the toxic way royal Icewings are raised, warping his perception of what strength means. When he meets Foeslayer, who is said to be an ancient enemy of his people, his mind cuts through the veneer of tradition and old bullshit justifications and sees her imprisonment for the cruel injustice that it is. He then undoes that injustice and frees her. It takes an incomprehensible amount of personal integrity and willpower to just casually defy the will of your entire country like that. This is equivalent to treason; by aiding her, Winter risks becoming an enemy of his people on par with Foeslayer herself. And he does it anyway, because it is the right thing to do.

This dissonance in his perception of strength with regards to his Icewing upbringing, and the actual strength he embodies and has embodied all this time, is something I would have liked to see explored more in the finale or something. As it stands now, he got pressured into putting his life on the line in the battle for Jade Mountain, has sworn loyalty to a people that mistreated him and tried to ruin him from a young age, and then got saddled with an existential nightmare of an ending that leaves me baffled to this day.

In terms of personal misfortune, he certainly is the Starflight of his group.

Qibli

CW: Parental abuse

Qibli is a very charming and versatile character. It is easy to imagine him in a variety of different situations and the scenes almost write themselves, especially when there’s another person with him whom he can bounce off of (figuratively, though I wouldn’t put it past him to try to literally bounce off of someone too). The 10th book posits him as some kind of parallel to Darkstalker; the latter even overtly states this and tries to recruit him as a manner of apprentice. It’s interesting because I think they are actually pretty different.

Qibli excels in situations where his options are limited. He is great at thinking on his feet and coming up with solutions to problems within a restricted framework. He'd be great in an escape room. This ability of his is shown throughout the arc, but it is especially visible in Moon Rising, where his presence in a scene often makes Moon stronger, or more adept at solving problems, because his mind is breaking down the situation for her in a way she would be unable to see on her own.

The twist then comes in when you take Qibli out of that limited framework, by giving him power. His pronounced intellect is very peculiar; it needs limitation to be brilliant. When he has unhindered access to all-powerful magic (i.e. doesn’t have to clear his ideas with another person), he turns into a colossal idiot who buries cities in sand and almost blows up inhabited mountains.

It only follows that, if you were to give Qibli what he wants and make him an animus, it would absolutely ruin him. The great intellect he cultivated would wither and, unshackled from the limitations that forced him to think critically and be his most excellent self, he would end up destroying himself, and likely others too.

Another interesting facet of Qibli is how he works as a parallel to Winter and Turtle (and Peril to an extent). All of these characters come from broken homes and have suffered under abusive parental figures. Qibli’s case in particular is interesting because it showcases how your circumstances can make a difference in how well you handle that issue. Qibli suffered under a tyrannical mother and a pair of cruel siblings, but in contrast to his peers, someone from the outside noticed his suffering was able to intervene—Thorn saved him from his hell and became his rescue parent, restoring his confidence and sense of self-worth.

Because of this, when his turn comes to confront his demons, while it is still difficult and painful (because trauma always is), he is able to navigate the confrontation with comparatively more grace and control than the others. The contrast really shows how difficult it is to escape a toxic relationship if you are still mired deeply within it, and how you need to put some distance between yourself and it before you can see where you are and what needs to be done with improved clarity. That is the path to healing.

I could probably keep talking about Qibli for 15 more paragraphs, but I’ll spare you.

Kinkajou

Every protagonist (and a good deal of side characters) in Wings of Fire is broken, usually has some kind of gut-wrenching past (often due to terrible parents), and struggles to find their place in the world. Luckily here is a pink-and-yellow Rainwing who is just happy and everything is fantastic and wholesome, right?

CW: Forced starvation

Nah, Kinkajou had it pretty rough too. The story plays it like it’s a humorous quip when she finds out Moonwatcher is her roommate and bemoans that nobody is taking her “trauma” seriously, but... yeah, it actually is legitimate trauma. She was captured, bound, and trapped on a hell island without sunlight for several weeks. While there, she was not fed, and she helplessly watched people whom she knew from early childhood starve and die. Death by starvation is not pretty, she likely had to witness her friends slowly being driven mad by hunger until they withered away, and couldn’t do anything about it. Then she was rescued and returned to a home that didn’t believe her pain was real, that claimed she made it up for attention, and that some people who she thought of as friends didn’t even notice she was gone. The only one who believed her was a stranger whom she had met maybe a few hours ago.

Personally, if that happened to me and I came home to that, I’d likely have pulled a Chameleon and said “Screw the Rainwings, I’m moving to the desert.”

That Kinkajou is still able to be positive and full of energy after that is a testament to her immense mental fortitude. She might actually be one of the most stable and resilient characters in the story. Some things shake her up for a bit, but nothing can crush her.

Still, I imagine there are some times, after a really bad day maybe, where she wakes up in the middle of the night. And there, for just a moment, she is scared to open her eyes... because she might be back on the Nightwing island and has to watch someone else die.

Peril

Peril is a bit of an odd case in arc 2. She gets grouped with the protagonists of that arc and the ending implies she is integrated into the Jade Winglet as their new Skywing. I have no real problem with that, in fact it’s good on her that she’s made a little less isolated. But to me, Peril always felt like an awkward appendix to that group. Her only real friend in there is Turtle; for the rest of them they feel more like vague acquaintances, like she's tolerated for being Turtle's friend.

To be fair though, that friendship with Turtle is really strong; it’s an exciting and deep character dynamic. But if I was forced to tie Peril to a group of protagonists, my first instinct would be to associate her with the first arc protagonists instead.

This poor girl has been through it. Everyone seems to hate her and wants her to leave, sometimes for understandable reasons and sometimes it just seems bizarre. I already went into Tsunami’s disdain for her in an earlier post, but I also vaguely remember a point in Escaping Peril where she meets Qibli and he gives her a withering glare for some reason. That confused me, to be honest. I thought “What’s YOUR problem with her? Have you ever even met??” Like, I guess the Outclaws were in direct conflict with Burn since they lived in the same country, and Peril was an infamous elite combatant under the command of one of Burn’s allies, so maybe Peril killed people he knew? But then he gets over his disdain really quickly and with no comment, so whatever happened can’t have been a big deal after all.

My favorite part in her book is when everyone--after having learned about Turtle’s powers--chews him out for not having helped his country during the war, and Peril cuts through the tripe by saying something along the lines of “So if he uses the power he was born with to serve his Queen it is honorable, but when I do the same for my Queen I’m a murderer and deserve to have things thrown at me?” I love all of these guys, but they really deserved to be called out for their double standard and feel stupid for a bit.

But yeah, I really enjoy her friendship with Turtle in the end. And since he accidentally made himself virtually indestructible, it means Peril can now get all the friendly hugs she craves.

Umber

Umber is cool. He has a potentially interesting relationship with Turtle, which is implied in the latter’s book when it is mentioned that they sleep with their backs touching to comfort each other about their respective siblings not being there.

Unfortunately he gets written out of the story arc very quickly. I wish I knew more about him.

Carnelian

I like Carnelian. I feel like she had a lot of potential that gets wasted by her death, for not much gain. It is used to give Queen Ruby a reason to come to Jade Mountain and kickstart the events of Peril’s book, but the same could have been accomplished by having her learn that the Academy is housing Peril and going there to demand the extradition of a (in her eyes) dangerous and murderous fugitive.

Same as with Umber, really, I wish I knew more about her. I already said this during my Smaugust drawing session, but I like to pretend that she and Bigtail didn’t die, and instead had a mini arc about recovering from their injuries. It also has the side effect of averting some very unfortunate implications that come with Bigtail’s death.

~~~

I think that’s all of them. Good lord I talk too much. Please don’t throw crocodiles at my face for it. Tumblr is my queen, and--much like the Queen's former champion--I was made to do it.

#wings of fire #dragon #wof #digital art #wof art #flawseer scribble #flawseer talk #character analysis #wof turtle #wof moonwatcher #wof winter #wof qibli #wof kinkajou #wof peril #wof umber #wof carnelian #flawseer reply #long winded #long post

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smusherina · 5 months

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yard work - chapter 15 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 11 / chapter 12 / chapter 13 / chapter 14 / chapter 16

Shivering in the cold, hiding beneath the bleachers, you held your cigarette between trembling fingers. Crouched on your feet so you wouldn't have to sit in the snow, your legs were already going numb.

Taking a drag, you held back tears. She'd tried, she picked you, and you didn't want it. No, you did want it, but didn't believe it.

Your phone beeped. It'd been ringing and pinging since you left. Kylie and Mrs George were worried about you. You'd text them back soon enough, let them know you felt under the weather, and that you were home.

"You're so predictable, y'know," You startled so badly that you toppled into the snow.

"Fuck!" The burning bit of your cigarette fell onto your hand. "Ouch! Fuck!"

"Should be flattered or offended?" Regina—fuck, Regina—stood over you, hands on her hips. She was still in just the camp tee. You spied the hairs on her arms were prickling.

"What do you want?" You grouched, flicking your barren cigarette away.

"What did you think of the song?" She cocked out a hip and crossed her arms.

You got up, not wanting to crane your neck as you had this conversation. You brushed off the snow clinging to your clothes.

"Real pretty. I..." You could pay her a compliment. Casually. "I do like your singing voice."

"I know. You've told me. I also know you're not intellectually challenged, so..." She trailed off, eyebrows quirking and eyes scanning your face.

"Yeah," You sighed. "A song isn't gonna do it."

"Just wanted to make sure you got the message." She straightened her spine and uncrossed her arms, instead intertwining her fingers in front of her. She took a deep breath and spoke:

"I'm sorry. I don't know if... I'm sorry for back then. When I left you in middle school. I don't know if explaining why would help, because," She glanced up at you. "I don't want to make excuses. You were my friend, my best friend, and I should've done better. Done right by you."

You didn't know quite what to say.

"I'm also sorry for Thanksgiving. I'm sorry I freaked out like that. I felt..." She fiddled with her fingers. "Rejected, I guess, and I didn't know how to handle it. I should've handled it better, that's for sure."

You stood there, waiting to feel some relief or happiness or even anger. Anything.

"I know apologies aren't gonna be enough. I tried to prove to you with that song that..." She swallowed. "That you're more important to me than status. I don't need to wow everybody if I had you. I've changed."

She looked up at you, also waiting. Still nothing.

"Do you think you'd already be hugging me if whatever happened today hadn't happened?" She bit her lip. "I'll make them pay, y'know."

"I thought you'd changed." You parrotted her words back at her. Brain whirring to action, you digested that it hadn't been her. Or maybe she was bluffing.

"Not that much. Not enough to not do anything when somebody hurts you."

"I..." You examined her, brow furrowing. "I haven't told many people. Only you and Mrs George. Janis, too."

"You told Janis?" Indignant, Regina's voice rose and arms spread. She was getting cold you could tell, because she shivering intensely, teeth chattering if not for the clench of her jaw.

"It came up some time ago." Back when I was still defending you. "Solidarity, y'know."

"Okay, fine, but why do you assume they had to know? There's been buzz about your sexuality before, unprompted." Her eyes narrowed. "I would know. I took care of them."

You blinked. "What?"

"Obviously. You..." She looked away as if looking for a way to convey what she meant without speaking it. "I just didn't want that. For you."

Was she lying to you? Trying to manipulate you? What was her goal? You didn't trust yourself to believe this was all sincerity and the lack of foundation, the instability of your own conclusions, made you feel crazy.

You circled back, refusing to process Regina supposedly protecting you all this time. What did it mean? No, not now.

"Yeah, but why now? Isn't the timing a little too convenient?" You accused, looking at Regina closely for signs of guilt. "You had every reason, all the power, to fuck me over, Regina. I think it was you."

"What? No. Why would I do that? I just dedicated a song to you!" She sounded frantic. "I've kept you safe!"

"I don't know! Why would Gretchen shout that I was lesbian in the middle of their performance? How would she know unless somebody told her?" You ran your hands through your hair and turned away from her. "Maybe you wanted me to run back into your arms so you could pick up the broken pieces. The pieces you broke."

"I did not tell Gretchen. I don't know why she did that and I don't know why I expected a fucking Britney Spears song to change anything, but I fucking tried!" She took a step back, pausing for a moment. "I don't want to shout. Let's not shout."

"I- are you fucking kidding me? Are you actually fucking kidding? Things didn't go your way, I didn't respond like you wanted, and you don't want to shout. You don't control me, Regina, I have my own life, my own things, I don't need you!"

You inhaled the cold air until it burned in your lungs.

"Okay. Feel better now?"

You felt the blood rush to your head, painting you red and exploding out in a shout.

"Shut up! No! No, I don't feel better. I would've felt better if you ever fucking listened to me or talked to me. It doesn't even matter what happened back then, because, yeah, it hurt, but we were kids. I know why you did what you did and no, it wasn't right, but I get it. Now, though?" Your chest bubbled with hysterical laughter. "We're nearly adults, Regina. Why- why..." Why couldn't you treat me better? That, just less pathetic. "Why did you have to be such a bitch?"

"I get it, okay. You don't have to forgive me. We can just move on." Her voice trembled, from the cold and something else.

You clenched your fists so hard your hands shook, squeezed your eyes shut so tight you felt the tension in your forehead, and so badly wanted to throw a tantrum on the ground like a toddler. Your hands found your hair and tugged.

"I don't know! I don't know!" Your voice was beginning to sound more and more like a wail. "I want to move on, I've had enough of feeling like this but I don't- I love you but what am I supposed to do with that? I should- should just hate you- I don't know what to think."

You pulled, tugged, and felt some rip out of your scalp. The world was spinning around you, leaving you behind in the impossible pressure of space. Your skull was full to bursting, bees buzzing between your ears.

"Who was it?" You hiccuped and resented the hot tears painting streaks on your cheeks. "Why would they do that to me?" You were angry but so, so tired.

"Hey, J, stop that." Regina pulled at your hands, still knotted in your hair. You let her move you, all tuckered out from shouting. Your body shook.

"I'm tired... I wanna go home." Your eyes closed. Regina was still touching you. She had you by your forearms.

"Okay. I'll drive you." She whispered. You couldn't look at her. Shame was crawling down your spine, settling deeper with every passing second.

"With what? Didn't Mrs George drive you?" You slumped against the back of the bleachers. Regina followed, stayed close with her hands on your arms.

"I'll drive your car." She spoke softly. A part of you bristled, not standing to be patronized, but you didn't have the energy anymore.

For a moment, not a word was said. With tentative movements, Regina's hands trailed from your arms to your torso, slipping into your coat and around your back. Her head came to rest on your shoulder as she held you close. Your skin crawled at the contact, but reluctantly, as if your body was used to her, you sunk into her.

Your arms hung limply at your sides.

"Notice me," Your eyes fluttered open when she uttered the melody. "Take my hand,"

Her hands petted at your back, scratching lightly with her long nails.

"Why are we, strangers when, our love is strong?"

In the darkness of a wintery night, breath-creating wisps in the air, she sang and held you. It was impossible to ignore the poetic setting, the sappiness of the moment. Even so, you could appreciate it. A little.

"Why carry on without me?"

It was nowhere as good as she'd been on stage. The acoustics outside in the snow, below the bleachers were even worse than in the gym. But it was just for you, this time around.

You tried to hold your breath, tried to keep it in. Not now, not here. Not for her. Again.

"And every time I try to fly I fall without my wings," She lifted her head and you looked at her. She paused there. "You're the wings." With a little smile, she continued singing. All the while looking at you.

Your head felt too big, like somebody had blown it full of air. You'd float away if she wasn't holding you down.

"I feel so small. I guess I need you, baby," The backs of your eyes heated up, the tear ducts stinging, and you bowed your head. Your arms came around her and wound tight around her neck.

"And every time I see you in my dreams, I see your face. It's haunting me. I guess I need you, baby,"

You sobbed. You sobbed and sobbed, interrupting her song, and wept into her collar. You missed her. You wanted to be with her so badly. You didn't want any of this to happen. You wanted things to be easy. Why did this have to be so hard? This was all unfair.

You cried at the injustice, cried for the hurt she'd made you feel, for the pain you'd made her feel and the names you'd called her. You wept because there was little else you could do.

"I'm sorry. I- I don't know what to do." You tried to breathe in, but your breath kept wooshing out of you. Every single orifice in your face flowed with fluid and you felt thoroughly disgusting. You couldn't stop it.

"We'll figure it out." Regina's voice was soft and her face even softer through your blurry vision. All hazy, gentle shapes.

"I'm- I'm scared." You whimpered, holding onto her shoulders.

"I know." Her arms tightened, holding secure around your waist. "I know, baby, it's gonna be okay."

"I'm still angry with- with you."

"That's okay."

"I dunno if we can... Y'know."

"I don't care. I just want you."

"Woah," You laughed, still sounding a tad bit hysterical. "Deep."

"Shut up." You could tell from her voice that she was rolling her eyes. "I preferred it when you were shouting at me."

Your laughter mixed with a hiccup.

"I don't believe that." Your voice wobbled since you still weren't quite done crying, apparently. Mortifying.

"You shouldn't." She amended, burrowing deeper into your coat.

With her hands rubbing your back, your fronts pressed so close together, you calmed down pretty fast. Your eyes stung and your nose was blocked. You felt dried out, like all moisture had been sucked out of you.

You knew this already. Every time, you'd go back. Every time, she'd wriggle under your skin and find solace in your heart and you couldn't even resist. Not really, anyhow, not effectively.

You wanted to believe she'd be there to stay, this time around.

"Can we go soon?" She asked, noticing your weeping had mostly concluded.

"Ugh," You groaned, head falling to rest on hers. "You think the crowd's been let out yet?"

"No, there's a sock puppet play that lasts ages. I think it was Hamlet or something."

"Sock puppet Hamlet? Reg, I think we need to go back in."

"No, nope, not if I have your keys!" She felt around in your back pockets. You did usually keep them there, but they'd been digging into your ass when you were sitting in the gym. They were in your coat pockets instead.

"Woah, take me to dinner first, jeez," Just like that, her hands detached like your butt was stove-hot.

"Sorry," She muttered. The mood shifted, the lighthearted and familiar air turning awkward.

"It's all good." Was it? It didn't feel weird, there was nothing sexual about what she'd done, but you weren't sure how you could say that. You yourself weren't sure what your boundaries were. You weren't even sure if you wanted to be vulnerable like that now.

She looked up at you with a contemplative look on her face. You looked back, waiting for her to ask something. When she didn't you shrugged.

"Let's go to yours." She said and then waited for you to... Do something again. You nodded. "I'll order, uh... What do you feel like eating?"

"I can cook-"

"I want take out, Jorts, so we're getting take out, 'kay?"

You tried not to smile at that.

"Whatever you say." You patted her on the back. She hummed, satisfied.

"Let's do Chinese. Sound good?" You nodded along, eyes closing. "We sleep. In the morning, we'll go for a walk. We'll talk about serious stuff during or after the walk?"

"Do we gotta go for a walk?" You asked petulantly.

"Yes." She said and did not elaborate.

"Fine, I guess."

Notes: A confrontation! At last! I couldn't keep the readers hanging for long, that would've just been cruel. I do have a nasty tendency to finish chapters with cliffhangers. Am I the drama? Noooo...

Btw, being transparent here, I named this fic "yard work" back when I was still thinking it was gonna be a one-shot, so (at least IMO) it doesn't really fit the series as a whole at this point. If I were to change it to, let's say, "everytime" would that be confusing or what? If the change were to happen it'd only be after this was completed, so no worries there. Just let me know y'all's thoughts!

Taglist will be posted separately! If you wish to be added on there, comment on that post :)

#mean girls #mean girls 2004 #mean girls 2024 #regina george x reader #regina george x you #regina george x oc #regina george x ofc #mean girls x reader #lesbian regina george #regina george #wlw

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thelonelyempath · 2 years

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Sleepy Prompts

1. “Baby, you look like you’re about to pass out.”

2. “Go rest. I’ll take care of it.”

3. “Do you think it would be helpful if we were cuddling?”

4. “You fell asleep right on my lap. No no no, don’t feel bad. I actually thought it was pretty cute.”

5. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

6. “Let me be a mom for a second and tuck you in.”

7. “You’re adorable when you’re sleeping.”

8. “Put the homework away and go to bed. You look exhausted.”

9. “I called in sick. Now we can stay in bed and snuggle all day.”

10. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep after that.”

11. “That’s the fifth time in the last two minutes that you’ve yawned.”

12. “No offense, but you look like you haven’t slept in days.”

13. “You’re already half-asleep.”

14. “I’ll carry you.”

15. “That’s, what, your fourth cup of coffee?”

16. “Are you afraid to fall asleep because you think you’re gonna have a nightmare?”

17. “You’re so cute when you’re tired and speaking in half-sentences.”

18. “Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

19. “Stop fighting it. You need sleep.”

20. “Goodnight, my love. Sweet dreams.”

21. “Give me a goodnight kiss?”

22. “Darling, you’re shivering. Come here, let me warm you up.”

23. “You’re still awake. Something on your mind?”

24. “Sorry, were you sleeping?”

25. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

26. “When was the last time your head hit a pillow?”

27. “You twitch in your sleep. It’s honestly one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen.”

28. “So then I- oh, you’re already asleep.”

29. “You don’t know the wonders a 30 minute power nap could do you right now.”

30. “It was just a nightmare, love. It wasn’t real.”

31. “I understand wanting to get things done, but please don’t pull anymore all-nighters, babe. You need to sleep.”

32. “Those energy drinks really aren’t good for you.”

33. “Look me in the eyes and tell me what time you went to bed last night. Or if you went to bed, for that matter.”

34. “Don’t think I don’t notice you yawning.”

35. “I can’t sleep if you’re not here to cuddle with me.”

36. “It usually takes me a while to fall asleep too.”

37. “Do you wanna hear about the dream I had last night?”

38. “You always end up looking like you’re gonna fall asleep when I play with your hair.” “Yeah, it’s relaxing.”

39. “You’re obviously tired. Go lie down.”

40. “I’m gonna carry you to bed if you keep arguing with me about not needing sleep.”

41. “Sleep. I’ll keep you safe.”

42. “I’m so sleepy.”

43. “Just try and keep your eyes open for five minutes.”

44. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

45. “You should really get some rest. You’ll feel so much better.”

#sleep #sleep prompts #sleepy prompts #sleepy dialogue prompts #otp sleep prompts #otp prompts #writing prompts #prompts #sleepy dialogue #sleep dialogue

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absolutebl · 10 days

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This Week in BL - Weird Strange Warmth, Thailand

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Sept 2024 Week 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

Jack & Joker (Thai Mon IQIYI) ep 1 of 12 - Oh it’s fucking great. What a fantastic start! It’s a fun cast too. I adore seeing all of the familiar faces. This is a lot more fun than Kidnap (sorry GMMTV, do better). I mean both shows are serving the same kind of concept but with completely different energy. I love that War is playing phi in this series. I think it suits him much better. In fact. I really like these rolls for this pair. I think they’re gonna knock it outta the park. I am so happy this is good. I wanted it to be good. And it’s good!

Monster Next Door (Thai Thurs Gaga ) ep 8 of 12 - Oh no! He read the journal. No snooping! Well I guess they needed to get some tension for these 2 from somewhere, otherwise they are too good to each other. Meanwhile, I’m not sure about the sides in this particular series. I don’t hate them. The laundry jealousy moment was pretty well done. But I'm not sold, either.

Addicted Heroin (Thai Tues WeTV) ep 5 of 10 - I forgot that we were already on the ICONIC kidnapping section of the narrative. I miss Gu Hai's OBEY sweatshirt from the original. (Someday I will own that sweatshirt.) Hero should at least be wearing an OBEY T-shirt. Frankly I miss the harshness of the original too. Johnny Huang was just so massive, August doesn't have the physicality to carry this scene off. Nor does Thailand have the guts to push it into the creepy obsessive territory that made the first version so thrilling to watch.

The thing about the original kidnapping bit was we could feel Gu Hai's vibrating need to possess overriding everything else (including his sense of humor and frustration with himself). Gu Hai KNOWS kidnapping was an over reaction, he KNOWS he is being absurd, he just doesn't care. Because he doesn't just want to fuck Bai Luo Yin he wants to consume him.

We didn't get any of that from Hero. Hero, as a character, just isn't edgy enough to carry off a kidnapping, he's been softened too much in this new Thai form.

And then... An around the back of head not-kiss? Interesting choice. (Checks to see if BoomPeak are hanging out nearby.) Is that because the actor is under age? We in that head space for this whole show? (Pun intended.) Not sure how I feel about any of it.

It’s a much milder confession this time around, because it’s Thailand, but it’s still warped. So I’m still here for the weird strange warmth of this damn show. I did laugh a lot during this episode.

Kidnap (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - Oh I am very much enjoying this.

"You’re the worst kidnapper I ever ever met" is an apt accusation.

Battle of the Writers (Sun YT) ep 7 of 12 - I kinda enjoyed the little side romance story (wealthy writer intellectual + poor local salt-of-the-earth boy = Love Seaing all over my damn screen). It came outta nowhere but... okay.

I honestly have no idea what’s going on with this show. But the kisses are nice. And I pretty much like all of the couples. It’s wild how disjointed it is but simultaneously how pretty. It’s like Star Hunter got hold of Mame’s budget and aesthetic.

I Saw You in My Dream (Weds Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - Boyfriend era to the max. Production is still ignoring the whole "dreaming the future" POINT OF THIS SHOW.

The Trainee (Sun YT) ep 11 of 12 - Jane is VERY COOL. Like tay-style cool… as it were. I like their dynamic when they're given one to play with. It’s the rest of this show I don’t enjoy.

Live in Love (Sun Gaga) ep 2 of 5 - It cute. Bit odd but cute. I like the language play, of course. It’s an interesting pair to watch flirt because it’s all language play so that's fun but otherwise, I'm not convinced.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The On1y One (Taiwan Thurs Gaga) eps 7-8 of 12 - This BL doesn’t drink from the water bottle to show off its neck. It quietly hands you the water bottle and expects you to understand that is not an act of generosity but of polite distancing. It's about the delicacy of the messaging, and the way themes are conveyed with such nuance.

This story is entirely about the two of them figuring out about each other, and then trying to be what the other person needs based on that information. It means they (and therefore we) are on this journey of discovering affection together. It's brilliant.

I must talk about the physical acting of these two for a second. That scene where they’re fighting over the book and then fall into the pool. That was one take. That’s amazing. These two are really fucking stellar not only at acting but hitting their marks. And let's be clear, that is NOT the same thing. I bet they both have stage training.

Define irony: watching two abandoned kids counsel their respective parents through abandonment issues.

Sugar Dog Life (Japan Sun grey) ep 6 of 10 - It is stupid cute and utterly charming. They are total boyfriends. It’s just that one of them wants to be and one of them assumes they already are. Actually, nevermind boyfriends, they’re married.

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) ep 12fin - It made me whimper a lot because they’re both hurting so much. But in the end it was... fine.

Summation

The compassionate story of a college kid going deaf and the one boy he can hear. I love this manga and was let down by the first adaptation (Silhouette of Your Voice), so I was expecting a lot from this BL. I expected the soundscapes in this one to be fantastic, and the were, but I didn’t expect the filming to be something special too. But it really is. The acting is great too. But the story? It was just fine. They spent far too much time on the build to a relationship, then wallowed in their separation and a problematic girl character, when they should have been showcasing Taichi's character arc and his capacity for connection. Perhaps Japan should pass this one off to Thailand, It's a soft story centering on "food as love" so they might do better with it. I am, yet again, disappointed. 8/10 but I want to give it a 7/10

First Note Of Love (Taiwan Mon Gaga) eps 9-10 of 12 - It’s fine. it’s cute. I enjoyed getting some backstory. More of the sides, please.

Seoul Blues (Korea Fri? YouTube) ep 7 - Honestly, why don’t they just call this entire series The Cheating Diaries and have done with it? I’m only watching it because there’s basically nothing else from Korea right now. But I’m generally mad about it. Including the fact that everybody is so pretty and the acting is so good in the series, but the stories are so terrible.

It's airing but...

The Hidden Moon (Sat WeTV) ep 1 of 10 - This is a supernatural romance (my ghost boyfriend trope) by Violet Rain (I Feel You Linger). A man is hired to write an article about an old mansion in Chiang Mai being converted into a café. He sees the ghosts of people who died at the mansion, falls in love with one of them. Was substantially recast. I loved IFYLITA except the ending so I think I'll let this one run it's course you can tell me if it's work tracking down... if they managed to land it. I have my doubts.

Happy of the End (Japan Tues Gaga) - A boy is disowned for being gay, dumped by his boyfriend, and ends up in a dysfunctional co-dependant relationship with his would-be kidnapper. We were due for another messy JBL and it's exactly as expected. I do not like it at all. And ya know what? There is plenty airing. DNF