#a person from the group they're talking about it there and can read and respond to what they're saying

[feluka]

that comment is really making me lose my mind imagine writing so much with full confidence about something you know absolutely nothing about. average terf intelligence level i guess.

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

sorry but this is one of the dumbest things anyone has ever said to me

[etoilesbienne]

re: boundaries

I've made many posts previously on this subject already, so people are already aware of my stance regarding disliking the way "boundaries" as a concept are used by the mcyt fandom, however I want to have a brief meditation on why this is the case, and a look at common arguments about them.

however i do want to make clear that i don't mind boundaries as a concept, actual boundaries. as in "if you do x, i will respond with y" kinds of boundaries. I think cc are completely fair and understandable in this kind of perspective. if someone makes a kind of content they dislike, they're free to block that fan or express discomfort over it. That's normal.

my critical eye is turned toward the fandom's perception of "boundaries" as a sort of fandom ruleset, either you follow them with the in-group, or you're thrown in the out-group and labelled all sorts of insults, anywhere from a criminal offender to just having people be plain nasty toward you. this in my opinion, really feeds into the fandom habit of having "cliques" as fandoms are social networks that are voluntarily joined. i find it juvenile at best.

at worst, on the other hand, is the concept of mcyt having mixed in kpop stan culture around 2019 with smplive (great server. horrific fandom at the time it was run. all of the smplive fans still left are veterans worthy of respect for surviving that.), which caused a very explosive mixture.

kpop fandom has this outlook and parasociality toward idols because these idols are borderline unreachable. even in smaller groups, companies generally (not always.) discourage idols from talking one-on-one selectively with fans. there deserves to be a more thorough examination of kpop fandom with stan culture, that i believe i am not fully qualified for. my point is that kpop idols are a hell of a lot harder to reach for english fans, whether through language barrier or through professionality done by companies.

the explosive mixture is bringing this same mentality - the mentality that these people you look toward as the main source of the fandom as being untouchable, perfect people. it's dehumanizing in its own right, but aside from that, it creates a dangerous fandom situation. as best shown using smplive with CallMeCarson from before.

CMC is the origin point of boundaries within the MCYT fandom, having held a live in fall of 2019 talking about how a popular danganronpa themed wattpad smplive fanfiction was upsetting for him to read. CMC had an intense fanbase that could and would look up to him no matter what. of course the fanbase would go after and harass this author off of the internet and deleting their work (which remained lost media until this January of 2024. Almost half a decade.) after this situation, only months later it comes out that CMC had in fact been manipulating women aged 17 to early 20s, into sexual dms and sending him explicit photos of themselves for around a year. i am of the opinion CMC would have done this behavior regardless, however, the fact he had access to so many women who put him on a pedestal without considering he could exploit them was exacerbated by the stan culture mentality of mcyt's fandom at the time. this is not a criticism of the women, it is a criticism of the fandom culture of the time for failing to treat carson as a human being who had every capability to treat people like this.

no cc is exempt from that mentality by the fandom. carson knowingly used his position within the fandom to make the choice to do that to those girls. no cc should be exempt from the real possibility of the consideration that they can fuck up, not always in the way that they necessarily need to be cancelled or deplatformed, carson is an extreme example that is absolutely not representative of cc as a whole, but there needs to be a healthy level of doubt and separation between creators and fans.

to reiterate: cc are not your friends. cc do not need you to speak for them. you do not know these people personally. to present your defense of them and their personal opinions like you spoke to them directly and are close friends is dangerous, both for yourself, and for other fans in the community.

everything i have listed is why i always will be critical toward any fan group or clique that presents themselves as being pillars of the community, and why i am critical of any page or resource that tries to list "boundaries" as hard fast rules to be self policed by the fandom. not only is that punitive mentality, it's careless and poor understanding of how communities at large work.

i don't think a "boundaries" list is necessarily a bad idea in the long run either, if these lists were, like, compilations of streamers' twitch chat rules, that'd be cool! but generally these lists lack any nuance of why and where some boundaries may apply. like a ton of streamers hate ships being spammed in chat, but could give less of a fuck about people making ship fanart. or like wouldn't care as long as the ship art isn't put in their main tag.

as well as the general ignoring of regular boundaries, we all remember the horror show of people dono-ing to cc in 2020-22 asking for their boundaries right? like just so we're explicitly clear, walking up to someone and asking what someone's opinion of making adult content of them is very much sexual harassment. that's objectively something fans should not be asking to cc. if they want to say something, they can speak up on their own. they do not need your prompting. if you wouldn't ask it to your boss in an office, don't ask cc it. tangentially related is the ignoring of boundaries based on disliking fans harassing each other or other cc. those boundaries never get to be prioritized for a reason, as those behaviors feed into the stan culture mentality of pitting sources against each other in fan wars.

parasociality and stan culture turn mcyt fandom into a power vacuum where fans who like to self-police to a dangerous extent try to take charge. this makes the fandom worse.

[areus-in-a-little-cave]

I wanna comment on something I'm seeing that is deeply annoying me again. I am glad to see several posts similar to this, though.

Firstly, please stop acting like this is an "us vs them" situation but making the "them" be people on your own side who aren't responding to things perfectly. The problem is the people defending Wilbur, attacking Shelby, and spreading hate.

Do not take your anger and upset out on other people, because people are going to feel and respond differently but most people are supporting Shelby. It can be hard to see but people are usually trying their best and not trying to hurt others with what they're saying. You can both support Shelby and want Wilbur gone without agreeing on every opinion. Stop harassing people for responding differently to you. If their opinion is harmful, maybe try explaining why instead of harassing.

Secondly, please stop acting like every CC is this deeply evil, deeply toxic, abusive, horrible person because they haven't made a public statement about Shelby's abuse.

[Image ID: A screenshot of Shelby's alt twitter account's liked tweets. The tweet shown is by imiziee, one of Shelby's mods, and is a quote tweet. It reads "pls dont be like this. its been 2 hours since he posted it. people take different times to process that theyve been manipulated and friends with an abuser, calm down. instead of hating on people why dont you show support for shelby?? #ShubbleSupportSquad". The tweet it is quoting reads "the silence from his closest is so damning. fuck philza, tommy, jack, niki, tubbo, charlie, lovejoy, quackity" before it cuts off.]

This is from Shelby's likes, it's written by her mod. Shelby herself then likely agrees that this is a reasonable standpoint.

CCs should be supporting Shelby, of course. They should regardless of how close they are to this. However, we know that Wilbur manipulated people, close friends according to replies we've seen. We don't know what the behind the scenes is right now. Imagine if it was you and your closest friends, who you have known for years, and literal millions were watching you. It might take a few days to come to a conclusion, to say something, and I'd personally rather a CC come in a little late than rush an empty response.

I'm not expecting everyone to be perfect in their response, but a response is a response. Again, we don't know what is happening behind the scenes. I understand that public support of Shelby from other CCs is very important, but private support can be very helpful for them. This isn't about the fandom.

There's a difference between supporting Shelby and deplatforming Wilbur. They're connected, obviously, but given that Shelby is another CC, there's more ways to support her compared to previous cases of mistreatment allegations against a CC where it's someone without a platform coming forward.

Stop supporting whoever you want, and do whatever makes you comfortable. But stop attacking people and demanding they stop watching CCs because "all men are horrible monsters" and "all CCs will disappoint you" and "you support abuse if you watch any CC who could possibly support an abuser or abuse". Which ignores the fact that anyone could be an abuser, and abuse isn't a CC issue, this isn't an MCYT issue, it's a society issue. Yes, some groups, especially white men in positions of power, are in positions where they can abuse people easier. But literally anyone could be an abuser. That's part of what Shelby talked about.

I doubt that it's healthy to assume everyone wants to hurt you, to harm others, to abuse and manipulate, and that you can never watch or enjoy someone because they might be bad or support harmful people. Obviously, it's understandable to think that obsessing over a CC is bad because it is. You shouldn't put people on a pedestal and say "they could never do that!". But I'm seeing blogs who have been devoted to a CC and/or their character(s) for 3+ years talking about why you can never find comfort in a CC, and should distrust all of them completely. Like dude. It's fine to like a CC who may not be related to this at all.

We know according to Lexie that some CCs knew about abuse she faced and didn't do anything, in fact they kept hanging out with these people. It's fine to be wary, to stop supporting people who it could be. Because I'm sure there are people behind the scenes who knew something.

But again, the random tumblr blogger who wants to grant a CC a chance to get their thoughts together instead of making a shitty statement is not your enemy! Guilt tripping and harassing people into never thinking about any CC who could be related is not an effective way to support Shelby, and it does not make this seem like something that is about abuse. It makes this seem like online discourse.

This is not drama. Stop treating it like drama where you need to throw around buzzwords. You cannot "win" supporting someone. The only "right" opinion is supporting victims of abuse. People can feel different ways about CCs who did or did not respond. Stop saying people are horrible because they didn't loudly, actively denounce a CC who hasn't responded in one day to possibly finding out for the first time that one of their closest friends is an abuser. That's not supporting Shelby.

[veryobsessivefan]

really into group chat/texting habits headcanons as of late so have portal ones!!

Cave Johnson:

Creates the group chat as an experiment. He has two of them, one being the control group with other scientists and personality cores. He tends to mention the control group chat often, causing a small rivalry between the two groups of who can advance science the best.

He posts occasionally - long rambles where he complains about anything. Sometimes he reports findings. The lab boys keep telling hik he's ruining the accuracy of the data. He immediately kicks anyone who questions the ethics of Aperture Science or his methods, making the group chat go from many to few in a matter of days.

Chell:

She's annoyed with the notifications. Refuses to engage with the whole chat. GLaDOS taunts and mocks her constantly in hopes of some response, knowing she *is* reading the chat. Very rarely she does respond, and when she does it's a simple thumbs down emoji or a GIF of someone rolling their eyes, or something similarly passive aggressive.

Wheatley:

Is way too into the group chat. Texts every second he has available. Derails the conversation. He breaks his messages and rambles up in multiple texts, so when there's 177 pings, everyone knows it's him. He misunderstands every meme that gets sent.

GLaDOS:

Has hacked into the permissions of the group chat, giving her admin rights. She doesn't use it much, other than to change Chell's name into something derogatory, like "garbage", "horrible person". She changes Wheatley's name to "moron" and it takes him a week to notice.

Grady:

Mainly uses the group chat as an excuse to slack off at work. Finds the rivalry with the other chat funny, and tries to get Charlie to infiltrate the other group and screenshot their messages as a double spy. He's mainly laid-back not taking any of it seriously. Sometimes he posts memes, but they're typically surrealist or unconventional humor.

Charlie:

Posts pictures of their desk once in a while. Engages with the chat, but only in reacts, much like Chell. DMs memes and sillier things back and forth with Grady, who is the only person they actually talk to in words. He types with no capitalization, no punctuation, and very few words, like 'cool' 'rad' 'guess', the most frequent word being 'desk.' The lab boys keep count of how many days go by without them showing a picture of their desk. The highest number was eight days, and the chat speculated he had died.

Fact Core:

Keeps posting facts occasionally. They have a vote on whether or not to kick him. It's a tie that only Wheatley can break and he votes for factcore to stay (because he's "educational.") Wheatley doesn't realize anything Fact Core says is incorrect.

Space Core:

Gets kicked out Day One by GLaDOS.

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: How To Rediscover Yourself, Set Boundaries, & Master Interpersonal Conflict

The beginning of a new year marks a prime time for self-reflection and resetting our intentions. Take some time and use this post as a guide to self-assess your purpose, goals, desired self-concept, and boundaries to bring confidence and self-love into 2023.

Ways To Discover Your "Why":

Start by checking out my guide on Self-Discovery & Mastering Personal Branding and doing the linked exercise (more tips here) to uncover your 'Dream Girl Archetype.'

Tips On Setting/Upholding Boundaries:

Make it about you and never about them.

Know the difference between boundaries and expectations: A boundary is about you and how you will respond to another person's actions. An expectation is the way you expect others to conduct themselves (at least in your presence/relationship). Gently bring up the behavior or actions that bother or trigger you. Communicate your boundary to them when it comes to these conversation topics or behaviors. Say "when you talk about "X" topic or do "X" behavior, I feel uncomfortable/stressed/upset and need to remove myself from the conversation (either physically, hang up the phone, stop answering texts), etc. If they're well-meaning friends, family members, partners, etc., they will respect your boundaries and know that there's an expectation in your relationship for these topics/behaviors to not come up and, if they do, be apologized for and corrected immediately (humans slip up occasionally; you will know the difference between disregard for your well-being and an honest mistake by their reaction to your calling them out).

Always use "I" statements to communicate your needs and requests: Telling people what they're doing wrong instead of how their actions make them feel automatically puts others in defense mode. So, always make sure to describe the exact words/actions/behaviors that are bothering you and how these situations make you feel. Don't personalize these actions – unless you want a negative reaction from the other person (you don't).

Make time for self-care: It's true that you can only be fully present for others when you fill up your own cup and have your needs met first. Otherwise, you're only showing up as a fraction of the person you can and strive to be. Spend time alone. Take long showers and walks. Read books, journal, draw, meditate, and watch your favorite movies or TV shows. Eat healthy meals and work out. Focus on your goals and activities that make you feel good no matter what or who else is trying to enter your mind at any time.

How To Approach Conflict:

Ask for permission to bring up a conflict: Allow the other person to consent to a less comfortable conversation. Depending on the situation, feel free to assertively ask: "X statement made me uncomfortable/offended. Can we discuss this topic/how I'm feeling for a moment?" If someone is overstepping a boundary/trying to push your limits, just say: "Hey, that statement/action crossed X boundary. I [insert boundary]. If X boundary is crossed again, I'll need to remove myself from this conversation/leave/hang up/etc. "

Always approach conflict with "I" statements: Make standing up for yourself about just that – standing up for YOURSELF. Share how you feel and why certain behaviors make you feel comfortable. Don't use language that leads with a "you" statement. Make the conversation about asserting your own needs, not the other person's actions – this will only escalate a conflict and make someone else feel attacked.

Guide your conversations using someone's behaviors/actions, and never attack someone's character during a conflict or a disagreeable conversation: (e.g. Say something like "When you say things about X group of people or topic, I get very uncomfortable or angry." You can elaborate with a reason if you feel it's necessary, but your feelings are complete and valid on their own. Don't say: "You're a close-minded/rude/unappreciative person, etc," even if you have their past actions to back this statement up. It's not a good look.)

Seek to understand, not win in conversations: Unless the person, is hostile or deliberately trying to provoke you/upset you, listen to the other person to understand their perspective before speaking. Ask them why they said an uncomfortable/offensive statement or did a certain action that left you with negative emotions. Seeing where the other person is coming from helps you better communicate with the person in the context of the situation and minimizes the chances of a conflict. In the worst-case scenario, entering these less comfortable conversations with this intention will make you appear as a mature and respected person – both to yourself and others – and keeps you in a calmer state, so you're more careful with your words and less likely to say something you regret.

[adventuringblind]

Drive With You Forever

Chapter Fourteen: The Rise and the Fall

Max Verstappen x Charles Leclerc x Lando Norris x Reader x Oscar Piastri

Chapter summary: Charles has a theory, Lando and Oscar get a better car, they group takes a trip to America to learn more about our reader

Warnings: Ferrari strategists, blood, mentions of death, gore, mentions of past abuse and neglect, medical abuse and malpractice, no graphic descriptions but r*ape is alluded too, panic attacks, mentions of sickness, cults, witchcraft is mentioned along with burnings

Notes: This one was hard. It gets really dark so please read the warnings.

Also, thank you for all the support for my writing! I'm terrible at responding to comments, but I want you to know that I see them and I appreciate every single one of you!

Previous <-

Masterlist

It’s always weird when things go back to normal. It feels temporary. Like she’ll never be able to rest easy because something else is going to happen.

Even when they’re here, relaxing after a race.

Things had been so crazy lately that none of them wanted to join in on the after party. Instead, they all lay comfortably with each other.

"So I have a theory." States Charles. His body splayed out at the foot of the bed. Next to him is Oscar. Max is laying the correct direction woth his legs over the top of the other two. Then Lando and Y/N are leaning against the bed, curled into each other on the floor.

"That's dangerous." Snickers Max. He receives a scowl from the Monegasque.

"What's your theory, Charlie?" Pipes the girl on the floor. It's never mattered the idea or thought. She always wants to hear it.

"At least one person wants to hear it." He grumbles. "Anyway, y/n has four entirely different abilities, and now she has four partners. Do you think it was meant to be?"

"It is an odd coincidence." States Oscar. He looks up from his phone and considers the statement.

"We could see if there's more to it than you know." Lando says into her hair.

It's not something she would've considered a year ago. But now, with everything she's survived, maybe it would be worth a look around. Show her boys where she used to live.

It's not pretty by any means, but it is a part of her.

~

Before they could take a trip to her home, they had to get through Silverstone. Lando is excited the car upgrades are doing their job and Oscar is absolutely petrified.

It doesn’t show on the camera or when he’s in the car, but when they catch him before the race after qualifying third, he looks terrified.

Charles and Max were upset they couldn’t get to him, ,raving it to the other two to make sure he’s properly encouraged before the race starts.

She standing in front of him holding his face with her hands. It could almost be intimidating if she wasn’t complimenting every fiber of his existence. She does it to all of them on bad days and it never fails to make them smile.

“Os, you are an amazing driver. There isn’t anything that can change that. Now you just have a car to prove that you’ve always been good.”

She kisses his forehead before he’s called to get into his car. Lando makes sure to also give him a pep talk before his engineers have to drag him away.

She bolts back to the Redbull garage. She has her own job to do. Even though she spends majority of her time watching the race in the screen, she dies still analyze data.

It proves difficult, however, when three of her lovers are in the top three places. She had to bite her tongue to hold in her excitement.

Then the unlucky safety car. She knew Oscar would be disappointed, but he's still in fourth.

Max crosses first, followed by Lando. The two are absolutely ecstatic. She can see the mild disappointment when Oscar isn't in the third spot.

Charles is definitely upset with how his race went. He'll need cheering up as well. Finishing ninth and having his strategy messed over again was not something he'd wanted this weekend.

She runs off to find Charles and Oscar first. They're waiting just outside the weigh station and she can see the both with sollum looks.

"I don't care what anyone says. You two were amazing despite the difficulties."

Charles just hugs her. He's tired and words are hard. Her embrace is relaxing and all he needs right now.

When the two are consoled for the moment, she knows she has to let them go. Their media duties are still part of the job even if they hate them.

She gets to leave with Charles first. Oscar and Lando are still finishing up media duties, and Max is doing his best to avoid them but failing.

Charles crashes as soon as he's in the room. Face planting on the bed and screaming into the pillows.

She sits next to him and plays with his hair. "I wish I could just be happy for Max and Lando- even Oscar!"

"It's okay to be upset, Sharl. Feelings have a way of escaping like that." She whispers to him gently. She ponders for a moment. "Maybe a cheat meal is in order."

Charles lifts his gaze from the bed to her and smiles. "I think you're a genius."

~

The other three come back much later than expected. The three of them are far too exhausted to do anything else but sleep.

Max opens the door for the three of them and is met with the lovely smell of food. He didn't realize how hungry he was until now.

The two who'd left earlier are sprawled out with a blanket on the floor. They'd found that tables in hotels never have enough chairs. The floor has become their table in these scenarios.

"Welcome back! We got dinner!"

The stresses of the day, the highs and the lows, fade into the back of everyone's minds. Their company enough for each other.

~

They'd left for America the next morning. She'd begged Sébastien to come with them, and he'd accepted. Though he was meeting them there.

None of them had seen her home before. The boys made sure she knew she could back out at any time. But it's almost as if she needs this. To finally close the lid on the box.

Sure, there may he a group of people after her now, but her father can't touch her. She has the freedom to go searching for her own answers.

Seb landed before them, so he was waiting for them when they landed. She jogged to hreet him and threw herself into his arms.

Seb had barely talked to Oscar in the past, and now they've had some video calls as a group, but nothing major. So, he settles for a hand shake and a warm greeting. "These four treating you well?"

"Always room for improvement." Oscar laughs as the other four feign hurt and shock.

"I think we're going to get along fantastic."

The ride from the airport to the property is ridiculous. A handful of back roads and small towns make for fun stops, but it's still long.

She'd had to message Guenther about the address. She'd never needed to learn it, so she never had. She only knew property lines.

Finally, they're turning down a familiar overgrown dirt driveway. Everyone can see her body tense up.

"Are you okay? Should we stop here?" Asks the Brit. He's trying not to let his worry for her show, but his voice fails him.

"No, I'm fine. It's still about a mile from this point."

The land is overgrown and eery. It's not long til they can see the warehouse in the distance. It was larger than they'd imagined. Lando had pictured something like a shed and Oscar just ran with that idea. Charles thought maybe a prison or one of those abandoned hospitals. Max didn’t care, he just knew whatever it was couldn’t be good.

The building itself looked menacing. The sides are covered with vines and there were random bits of debris scattered around the property. It looks both unsafe and unsanitary.

Seb stops the car a few arid away from the entrance. Everyone getting out of the SUV, except for her. Charles comes around the side and opens her door. “Mon amour, we don’t have to go any further.”

“I want too, just need a minute.” She sighs. Charles can see the glaringly obvious unease in her eyes. He laces her fingers with his and lets her take her time getting out of the vehicle. He refuses to let go even after she’s out.

They walk hand in hand to the metal door that everyone assumes is the entrance. Max has set himself in front of everyone, nothing unusual, but he kept Lando and Oscar behind him instead of letting them walk with him. The gloomy feeling of the building not helping protective nature.

Max attempts to get the door open. His attempt being foiled by things in the way. She watches on as the five males struggle to get it open.

“What the hell is behind this thing?” Asks a heaving Lando.

“Shelves I reckon.” Guesses the Aussie.

then the door busts open and then tumble down to the floor in a heap. “It was locked actually.” Smirks the female. “took me a minutes to get it open.”

Charles groans and shoves himself out from underneath the pile. “We loosened it for you.”

~

The building is just as eery inside as out. The group stick close to eachother as they explore about.

The female leads them to where the braker box is. All of them practically keel over when she gets on the lights.

The sight they are met with is terrifying. Almost as if they walked into some sort of horror movie.

There are bodies tagged and lined up, which explains the rotting smell. Machinery litters the ground. Bigger machines that none of them know the purpose of are in their own sections of the warehouse.

"It's not what you were expecting..." She fidgets with her fingers.

"I don't think it's about what we were expecting. I think that all of us hate that you had to live like this." Oscar explains carefully. Charles had yet to let go of her, and Oscar now sits himself on her other side.

Lando peeks his head around another set of shelves. "It almost looks like he was part of a cult." He scrunchs his nose in disgust.

"I wouldn't be shocked if he was." She points to a set of stairs. "My room and his office are up that way."

The group trek up the stairs and are met with a set of office style rooms. She leads the all the way down the hall to the furthest door on the right. She pushes open the door and inside is her room, exactly how she’d left it. The screen is even still missing from when she took it out. “This is my room.”

Her partners and adopted father file into the room. It’s not a large room and there is not much to look at. A mattress on the floor and some old books is as exciting as it gets.

They are all rendered speechless and she doesn’t know what to do. So she takes them to the next room. The door across the hall is filled with machinery. What they used to help with the F1 cars. The bigger machines are scattered about, but this room help some of the smaller testing components. “I spent a lot of time in here.” She smiles at them to hopefully lighten the mood.

She steps out again and points at the door beside it. “That one is where he used to hold the corpses. Since the Haas team was here often enough he didn’t want them to be seen.” Then she sighs again and starts back down the hall. “The rest is really for storage. My father spent majority of his time in the lower levels.”

“We can stop now if you need. Or take a break and get some air.” Suggests Seb. His fatherly instincts tell him this may be to much for her right now.

She shakes her head no. “I’ve just always hated the basement. It’s where he keeps all the important things.”

Max eyes her skeptically. “Important things?”

“Like food and my mothers corpse. The only way I could get food is to try and bring her back.” She shrugs. She can hear Max suppressing an angry growl.

They make their way to the stairs on the opposite end of the building. The lighting down below considerably darker then the upper floors.

The basement room looks as if it’s been carved out. Like it wasn’t here originally. At the center lies a beautifully adorned casket. She gestures to it. “This is my mom. I’ll spare you the disgust and not open that.”

The other side of the room houses a desk with books and a laptop. She’d forgotten he had that. She’d gotten caught on numerous occasions trying to use it. She eyes the laptop and then slips it into her bag. Something Seb had made her bring just incase she did find anything she wanted to take with her.

The laptop is newer then she remembers. Something like what she used for work.

The vials that he’d been injecting her with to supposedly rewrite her DNA are still sitting on a metal table, along with other medical tools.

She steps over to it. The bed he used to operate wasn’t a a traditional one. It was another casket sent on top of a table. He’d used it to remind her of why he was doing it, what her mother had felt, where she lays now permanently.

She can feel the walls closing in as she opens it. The woods inside still stained red. Memories of the times he’d cut her open just to sew her back up.

The vague sensation of teeth and hands on her skin fills her senses as the ground falls out from under her.

~

Max is the first to hear her breathing quicken. He’s standing almost next to her, observing, taking in every piece of information. Charles had gone with Seb and Oscar to explore a different offshoot. Seb had noticed weird writing on the wall and wanted to investigate.

They were right down the hall so Max wasn’t to worried about them. His attention now completely on the female.

She shrieks. Her body goes rigid. Then she’s falling the the ground.

Max catches her and Lando slides down next to them. Both look between her and each other. A dull pulsing light emitting from her skin but her hands and trailing all the way to her chest.

The other three come back into the room and frantically look around. “What happened.”

“She was looking at something, froze, then fell over.”

Lando can’t even get words off his tongue. Max can see him struggling and knows he needs to get everyone out of the building. “Seb can you help get Lan out of here?” Seb nods and drags the Brit back up the stairs. He would’ve sent Oscar with him since his demeanor seemed to calm the other, but ever since the bunker incident, Oscar was more panicked when away from her.

Charles and Max haul her up the stairs and out of the building while Oscar guides and moves things out of the way. He also took her bag so they didn’t have to deal with it swinging back and forth.

Finally they are able to drape her body across the middle seat of the SUV. The glow now diminishing but the girl’s condition seemingly getting worse. The blood, sweat, and tears they are used to seeing are being intensified.

Seb manages to get Lando to breathe then the five are able to discuss.

“I think her father may have been a cult leader.” Confesses Seb. The Germans eyes are sad and distraught but he’s doing his best to remain calm.

Oscar is sitting with the females head in his lap. He’s almost defensively holding her body, something they all noticed he started doing after they were rescued. “We found a book about her mom. Looks like the same handwriting in all the notes.”

“The scariest part is that she endured the same things.” Charles runs his palms over his bare skin, a nervous tick that Max tried to keep him from doing because he rubbed his skin raw. “She could do similar things to her, it seems. Whatever happened after is hard to piece together. She wasn’t meant to get pregnant, I don’t think, at least not when she did.”

“She served as some sort of alter. They did things that ar unspeakable.”

Max stands behind Charles and holds his hands to hopefully ease the need to turn his skin red. “Do you think the cult is who’s after her now? If they need her to complete whatever rituals they’re doing, it would make sense they’d want her back.”

“I think that she is more to them then any of us could’ve guessed.”

~

The ride back to the airport was long and contemplative. They decided not to go back to Monaco for now and instead head with Seb to Germany. The female still had yet to wake up and Lando is becoming increasingly more aware war of every time she inhales.

He sits in the back seat with Charles, leaning into the monegasque’s shoulder. “Do you think she’ll be ok?” He asks.

“Pretty sure nothing can get her at this point. Plus, she’s already looking better.” Charles reassures him. Yet the sinking feeling in his gut is still there.

They have too carry her into the plane. Lando watches on as Max bundles her in his arms and carries her inside. Lando jumps on the opportunity to sit with her. He eases her body into his, grateful that she’s not burning up anymore.

They sleep most the ride home, aside from Charles who is picking through the found journals. Lando is finally able to rest his mind to the feeling of her steady heartbeat against his hand.

~

Hanna is in full mother mode as soon as her husband, daughter, and her daughters four partners step through the door.

She has them set the unconscious female in the room they keep for them should they visit. She's quick to clean her up and change her clothes into comething comfortable. She doesn't let any of the boys near her, much to their protest.

It's quiet around the house. Nobody knows what to say. Where are they supposed to go from here?

Seb pulls the laptop out of the girls bag and finds a suitable charger. He knows he'll have to pick through it eventually. He just hopes she'll be awake before then.

"What if she doesn't wake up?" Lando is the first to voice his concern. "I know she always does... but this feels different."

"Don't say such things, Lando." Charles has kept himself curled up in an empty corner of the living area. He's dealt with so much loss already that he doesn't think he could take another. He's been spiraling since she's been out of sight, and it's visible in everything he does. "My question is why they wouldn't put her father away to begin with if he's leading a cult?"

"They may not have known. It seems they've been around for some time, and since Haas was paying him for work, I don't doubt there was money involved." Seb leans futher back into his chair. Even he is panicking. Though he's trying to remain calm for the youngers sake.

Max can't take it anymore and gets up from his place on the sofa and plant himself next to Charles. He wraps the Monegasque in his arms protectively. His body doesn't relax all the way, but the tears he'd been holding back now find Max's shirt.

Oscar is pacing. He's been pacing. He hasn't stopped moving since the female left his sight, and he's on the verge of toppling over mentally.

He's been mumbling this to himself. Definitely not things they've heard him say before. They all look as him with worried expressions.

"Jack?" He freezes at the nickname. Then he finds a place next to Lando who'd called for him.

The look in his eyes is one they've grown used to. He's thinking through a problem. Looking for every tiny detail. "They were talking about things in front of me while I was drugged." He declares.

Now it's everyone else's turn to freeze. They hadn't pushed Oscar to talk about things. He'd been doing that with his therapist. They'd almost that forced on him after he couldn't get past the separation anxiety. Thankfully, he had complied and was doing better mentally when he wasn't with one of them.

Now, to hear him openly state such a thing is both promising and terrifying.

They continue to just listen and let him work at his own pace. Lando plays with his fingers to remind him he's here with them and safe.

"There were complications with the birth. They knew her mother was getting older, so they would need a replacement, but she ended up in labor early so they couldn't finish."

"The journal also gives detailed instructions about what the process was that created them." Charles adds into the conversation. Pieces are starting to click together now. "It's dated back from forever ago as well. Something about starting from a line of witches, supposedly."

"But why do they need her specifically?" Max leans in closer to Charles. The unease and addiment need to keep his lovers safe is doing nothing for his own anxiety.

Seb leans forward now. He's pondering what he found as well, trying to link every bit of information. "Because she's the last of the bloodline." Seb only gets stares in return.

"Explain, please." Despite all of them being confused, Lando is the only one brave enought to voice it.

"Well, since I've picked her up when she was fifteen, it's always been men that she's talked about. There were never any females in the picture, I believe. So she might be the last of her bloodline."

"The journals sort of prove that as well. The history of it is muddled and doesn't make sense, but there is a story written about a lone female survivor during a burning. Some of the men who had already fancied her decided to use her in whatever ways they deemed neccecary, but she only ever bore one child." Charles recalls the story but cringes while doing so. He was sparing them the most gruesome details. "I think they took is as a sign and continued the tradition."

"Then why would he make it so she can't have a child?" Again, Lando asks the questions that confuse all of them.

"Anger makes you do unfathomable things." Seb sighs.

~

It doesn’t take long for the computer to charge. Everyone sits at the dining room table as seb opens it up for the first time. All of them are shocked it’s not locked. The man obviously didn’t think it was going anywhere.

Seb looks through some files and they can see him getting paler by the second. “There are videos and pictures on here and a few emails back and forth with a couple people but that’s all.” Then he pales out completely. “Hanna, can you make sure the kids stay upstairs?” Seb turns the computer toward her for a mere second and she looks sick.

“Don’t go too far, please.” She pleads, then hurries off upstairs. It’s an agreement that he’ll stop if he can’t take it. A plea that he won't invade too much of their adoptive daughters' privacy.

“If you guys want to see this that we’ll make so all of us only do this once. Otherwise we can figure it out.”

“What have you seen so far?” Questions Max. His nerves are increasing with every second and his leg is bouncing rapidly underneath the table.

Again, Seb looks like he might vomit. “I’ve already see photos of what they did. It’s not good and she’s completely exposed in most of it.”

All of them collectively swallow.

~

All of them felt sick watching the screen, listening to the screams. They moved past a majority it to the parts where a man (presumably her father) was monologuing.

He wasn’t meant to fall for her. Only meant to do what was necessary and give them a continuing line. When she died prematurely, he went into a completely psychotic state of mind.

Everything they did that involved the mother seemed bad enough. It only escalated for the female that’s currently unconscious.

then he revealed his plan.

Make her strong enough to bring back his beloved. Make sure she can’t have any children so they don’t have a choice if they want to attempt to continue in their faith of these miraculous beings.

And he caught every second of it.

Every ritual.

Every procedure.

Every time they took something from her.

They all felt sick. The rage mixed with violent sickness shaking all the males to their core.

They just want their toy back.

And they wouldn’t rest until they had her back.

~

Next ->

@styles-sunflower @purplephantomwolf @boiohboii @reblog-princess-blog @jjsprobablywrong @jayda12 @faithm120601 @eugene-emt-roe @lpab @yaaadii @80sloverry @spongebeck3101 @eviethetheatrefreak @chanshintien @vellicora @hollie911 @pretty-little-bunny382728

[diagonal-queen]

hey girlyyyy ❗❗❗ why do i feel like im bothering you when its quite literally just a request box🧍

but anyway !!! Following with the previous request of meeting with chuuya after years. Can i ask for like, a glimpse of their relationship? Like they're keeping it a secret from both their agencies so they have to be sneaky to meet each other like silly little lovers💗🤞😭😭

sakjhjkhfahfsh oh my god nahhh the sillies 🙈 you are never bothering me by sending me an ask. i am a pathetic and lonely creacher and i kick my silly little legs and let out my horrendus little giggles whenever someone sends me an ask. i am elated every time.

Star-Crossed

♡ pairing: Chuuya Nakahara x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: Romeo and Juliet, but you and Chuuya aren't as fucking stupid as those kids were. (sorry, I'm just having a goof- you and Chuuya are navigating secretly dating while being members of opposing groups)

♡ wc: 1.6k

♡ cw: Reader and Chuuya flirt and talk about sex (they're a couple guys. C'mon now), swearing.

note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUUYA!! Good timing for me to finish this one hey? lol I hope you enjoy it! Apologies for errors- maybe I should write a Chuuya birthday thing?

Part 1 (you don't have to read it but it provides context for this)

Chuuya had gotten there before you. He was sitting on a bench across the footpath from the restaurant, absentmindedly on his phone. It was no fancy place, one may say casual or even rustic. But once, a long time ago as teenagers, Chuuya had taken you there one evening when you were feeling down and you'd enjoyed yourself enough to decide that it would be a good place to go back to. Maybe get the same meals as that time, and recreate some cherished memories.

You stood around the corner of the block, making sure that there weren't too many witnesses around. You'd gone through a world of effort to conceal your relationship with the mafioso. You'd changed his contact name, turned off your notifications and even made sure to eradicate all traces that you two spent time together, which hurt the most of all. You felt that just a simple picture of the two of you wasn't asking too much.

The two of you seldom contacted one another during work hours. Considering the Agency tended to work within the daytime while the Port Mafia took over the night, you didn't have much time to communicate with one another, much less meet up in person. When you did, you both had to be cautious that none of your coworkers were around. It had gotten exhausting rather quickly, but the two of you continued to try nonetheless.

Weekends were really the only days that you could sometimes see one another. That's why, on an overcast Sunday, you and Chuuya had decided to go on a lunch date together. You were mostly sure that you wouldn't be bumping into any other Agency members, and yet you scurried along the street like a cautious mouse.

You called his name, and when he turned and saw you he smiled.

"How are you?" You asked him as you approached. He stood up and pulled you into his embrace once you reached him.

"I'm glad to see you, baby."

"You ought to be! It took so much effort to get here without rousing suspicion," you whined, pulling away and squeezing his shoulders. Chuuya cocked an eyebrow at you.

"Huh? Have you told them anything?"

"They're detectives, Chuu!" you responded, giving him a nudge. "It's hard to keep a secret when you're surrounded by detectives all the time. I'm pretty sure Ranpo knows already- or at least he's caught on to the fact that I'm seeing someone."

"...who?"

"Y'know, the one with the hat and cape...he trapped you in a book once?" Chuuya pursed his lips and nodded. "He's a genius."

"I know," he sighed. "At least Dazai doesn't know...probably."

"Nah, he doesn't," you confirmed, "If he did, he'd have brought it up with me by now. And I dunno how I'm gonna approach that conversation at all."

"Just give me a call when it happens. I'll beat the shit out of him," he muttered, sourly. You giggled, pulling him back into your arms.

"I can always count on you, can't I?"

"'Course you can, babe," he pressed a kiss to your cheek. "Sorry you gotta go through all that, by the way."

"I can't imagine it's much easier in the Port Mafia? Y'know, to be dating an Agency member."

"Eh, it's not so bad when you're an executive." He shrugged with a sigh. You cast him a mischievous grin.

"Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting you're all authoritative and strong like that," you teased. Chuuya blinked, before he wrapped his arm around your waist.

"Forgetting? Maybe I should jog your memory." You narrowed your eyes at his suggestive tone.

"Oh? How so?" You smirked. Chuuya tapped his lips.

"Hm...got any more kinks I don't know about?"

"Keep it in your fuckin' pants, Chuu!" You laughed, swatting his arm. "Imagine if there were children here."

"If you keep encouraging me there might well be," he retorted, and you gasped.

"You're a goddamn menace." Chuuya chuckled at your blunt statement. "Ah...anyway, we should go inside. We'd be less conspicuous that way, and we've been loitering around here long enough as is."

He nodded, and you both went inside. After entering the door Chuuya opened for you, the scent of the place filled your nostrils and it was like you'd visited for the first time. You stood in the entranceway for a moment, a small smile formed on your lips.

"Something wrong?" Chuuya asked, passing you and shutting the door. You shook your head.

"No, nothing's wrong," you quickly replied before taking a step forward. "It's just...been a while."

"...it has, yeah," Chuuya agreed, placing his hand on your back. "Glad to be back here."

~ ~ ~

Fifteen minutes flies by so fast when you're enjoying your time. Fifteen minutes with Chuuya felt more like fifteen seconds. You'd ordered your food, caught up on each others' recounts of the past week, Chuuya made an obligatory complaint about Dazai, and then Chuuya's phone rang twice.

The first time he'd just ignored it, and you'd tried to do the same, but the second time he let out an aggravated breath and pulled it out of his pocket, eyes briefly flickering towards the screen which you didn't have the time to get a good peek at. Chuuya glanced at you, both apparently frustrated and apologetic.

"Sorry, hon. I have to take this one, but I'll make it quick, alright?"

"It's okay, don't worry about it." You smiled as you said this, but your facade dropped once he disappeared to take the call. You didn't blame Chuuya for being busy, but lamented the fact that the two of you couldn't seem to spend any amount of time together uninterrupted. It was almost as if everybody really did know about your relationship and were doing all they could to keep it apart.

He was back before long, taking his seat across from you at the table and letting out an exhale.

"Did something bad happen?"

"Nah, just got into a bit of an altercation. Managed to sort it out though, so it's fine. Nothing to worry about." Chuuya placed his hand atop yours. "Where were we?"

"...I think you were bitching again. About Dazai?" You replied, balancing your hand on your palm with a grin.

"'Again'?"

"Yep. It's your favourite thing to do, right?"

"Besides you..." he mused, and you bit back a laugh. "I'd say so. But I can't help it. You know that best, don'tcha?"

"He's still lazy at the Agency. In fact, he's probably gotten worse. Sometimes I have to physically force him to come with me when we have jobs together," you rolled your eyes. "That being said though, he can be so overbearing sometimes, fuck's sake."

"Eh, if I were him I'd be protective of you too. Maybe the single thing I can't blame him for, actually," Chuuya scowled, taking a sip of water. "Wish I could spend as much time with you as he does, though. That might be nice..."

As you acknowledged that sentiment, an idea popped into your head. You suddenly sat upright.

"You and I should go on a trip. A road trip, or a vacation or something like that."

"A trip?" He repeated, confused.

"Mm. We wouldn't have to worry about anybody seeing us, and we'd be able to relax and actually spend time together," you explained. "We could even just...go camping or something. That's not that expensive, right? We'd have to travel pretty far, though..."

"I'd be willing to go anywhere as long as you're there," Chuuya shrugged. You turned to him, before smiling.

"That's adorable of you, sweetie."

"Money wouldn't be an issue. It's the time I'm worried about, and how we'd both be able to leave at the same time without suspicion," he continued.

"I just called you adorable and you're gonna go ahead and ignore me?" You scowled, folding your arms over your chest. "I see how it is."

"Aw, sorry babe. I didn't mean for it to come across like that," he apologised, taking your hand and pressing his lips to your knuckle. "I'm just concerned, that's all."

"I know, I get it..." you gave him a sad smile. "I wish we didn't have to be like this. I get so jealous when I see couples together out and about. I want that to be us!"

"Maybe one day. Just...not today though. Neither of us can afford it right now, y'know?" He murmured. "I would want absolutely everybody around me to know that you're my partner. If it wouldn't put you in danger, I mean."

"You're that proud of me, huh?" You queried, rubbing your thumb over Chuuya's gloved hand. He looked at you as if that were a stupid question.

"'Course I am. I can't really show it now, but I promise I am," he answered sincerely, staring into your eyes. "Okay?"

"...I'll choose to believe you for now," you replied, sarcastically. "But one day you better prove it in the most dramatic and flamboyant way possible, got it?"

Chuuya smiled. "I'd give you the whole world if you asked for it, Y/N."

"Oh, maybe that's a little too dramatic," you hastily replied. "...maybe we should just stick to dinner dates for now, m'kay?"

"Whatever you'd like, baby. I'll just save the world for another time."

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fedyushka, @flower-of-darkness

and thank you @bibilovedit for the request!

[is-the-fire-real]

judío por elección (part 2)

(part 1.)

My wife and I started searching for a community after a lot of talking. But, technically, we were already looking.

After E died, S gave us charge over a specific set of books. He had told her that it was vital these books go to a synagogue. He preferred it to be a London synagogue. We had no clue which one.

Shoved in with all the different books he had, and we inherited, was ephemera from different synagogues--pamphlets from the 1980s and 1990s, booklets from the '40s and '50s. We started calling and emailing them about these books, because they were pretty important.

They're chumash with a publication date of 1898.

Problem was, we couldn't get any synagogues to respond. The one who finally did said that they had too many books and could not accept any more. They suggested that E might still be honored if the chumash went to a Spanish synagogue.

The community here, as you can imagine, is struggling. Spain has done a real good job at keeping Jews out since the expulsion of 1492. Most groups operate in half-secret: no website, or a website that hasn't been updated in years; no phone numbers. Half of the people we tried to contact never responded. Most of the rest couldn't support our conversion.

One rabbi from Madrid answered us. She made it clear that we'd have to move if we wanted to attend her group. This was expected and crushing. We're poor, disabled, and pretty well stuck where we are. But then she said that there was a brand-new community in a city closer to us, one we visit with some frequency. She introduced us to their leader.

I have the impression that A would be considered a cantor. He is not a rabbi, but he can lead services. He had a few questions about my wife and I's histories and experiences with Judaism. (Those experiences I'll talk about somewhat, but it's difficult to talk about meaningfully while also maintaining privacy, so it'll have to wait.) He wanted to know if and what we were reading. Then he invited us to Shabbat, which they conduct through videocalls.

This group does not have a rabbi, much less a synagogue. Several of the folks who call in for our Shabbat meeting live in a different city entirely. That person talks about experiences with Mossad. I want to get better at Spanish so that I can learn from her.

There's singing (as someone who's seen Ashkenazi services, the Sephardi tradition sounds amazing), of course, and because there's so few of us, A has my wife and I read sometimes for services. The very first thing I got to read was Psalm 23, which has always been one of my favorite works of art... which A couldn't know when he asked me to read it.

I said I'd stumble at lot. He told me to read it slowly in Spanish, that it's better to read slow and correctly than quickly and clumsily. He seemed pleased with my effort.

I was raised Mormon, and the entire approach to worship was very different, in a way I found appealing. My wife said it wasn't that different for them--they were raised mainstream Protestant, so singing and standing/sitting a lot were normal for them.

When we were asked to raise a glass of alcohol, we asked if it had to be wine. (We're bad Spaniards. Neither of us likes the stuff.) A said that as long as it was fermented, it was fine. One attendant had a gin and tonic.

The last time we celebrated Shabbat, we used gay-pride themed glasses and filled them with beer. "¿Qué tenéis?" we were asked.

"¡Cerveza!", which cracked them all up, and the ex-Mossad member talked about how the Orthodox she used to worship with would drink whiskey.

Setting aside the Shabbat has been, overall, easier than I thought it would be. I check HebCal to make sure when the candles should be lit. I do all my household chores throughout Thursday and Friday-daytime. My wife tries to cook as much as possible before the candles are lit, and we eat, talk, and do our video-call service with the community.

Saturday I set aside. I have to keep reminding myself not to work, to consider things done even if they look like they're not.

But onward.

Our little community is fantastic, particularly A. He found out I'm having problems with some of my IDs. He told us not to worry. He knows a lot of people who work immigration and he can help us go to the right office and navigate the Spanish bureaucracy. ("Byzantine" should be replaced with "Spanish".) He's answered all our questions and invited us to events about the Shoah and personally introduced us to people.

They were so welcoming, so open, so not-rejecting-us-three-times (but if you count all the rabbis who told us no, technically, that's more than three) that it shocked my wife and I. We talked beforehand about how the community might want to withdraw, and not trust new converts, given October 7. We found the opposite. Our local Jews seem to feel that our willingness to look at how the world is behaving right now and still say "Your people will be my people" demonstrates our sincerity in and of itself.

On the other hand, when we first met A in person, my wife made a comment regarding his personal safety. He admitted that there was a man in the room with us who's his armed bodyguard. He and his wife do not leave home on business related to the community without their bodyguard.

My wife felt a cold hand creep up their back when they heard that. I was not nearby--I was checking all the exits of the auditorium and calculating where we'd need to sit if we had to flee. There were "pro-Palestinian" protests going on that day and the odds were there wouldn't be any danger near us, but... but...

Several of A's family members are also converting. We will have to travel halfway across the country to a mikveh. There are many medieval mikvehs in Spain, but to my knowledge, there are only two which are actually in use. My wife says we'll have to do a road trip. I immediately think about how "one Sephardi and four converts go road tripping across a country where one of its favorite dishes was designed as a Fuck You to Jews and Muslims" would be a fucking great novel.

Would be? Will be. And completing this branch of the journey with a journey feels right.

Oh, and my favorite A story: he invited us to spend some time with him and his wife after a community meal. We agreed to attend the meal, but had to leave after. "We have a lot of dogs and cats," my wife said, "we have to return and care for them."

"We'd love to have you," he said, "but it's a mitzvah, taking care of animals. Do that instead."

Afterward, my wife stared at me in wonderment and said: "I don't think I ever heard that once in church."

[msmcnevertweet]

Into the Blind, and Wot I Like about Space Stuff

I've been working on this for a while in between breaks updating As the Sun Forever Sets. Why is my idea of a break from writing games just writing a different game? I have dumb bitch disease. I wanted to talk about some of the inspirations for it.

Welcome to The Rim

Into the Blind is a sci fi game about a group of gig economy workers living contract to contract on the roiling, wild edge of space. It's about CRT screens, mechanical keyboards, junction boxes, pipes and wires. It's about the unknown, the stresses of capital, and horror - visceral and ephemeral. It's about working hard jobs in dangerous conditions for little pay, and the chance of a better life. 

You are a Freelancer - Salvager, Shipbreaker, Courier, Bodyguard, Assassin, First Responder, Negotiator, Investigator, Debt Collector. A Freelancer is any and all of these, depending on the contract. You'll take whatever you can get to make ends meet. 

Every job you do balances your need to pay the rent on your ship against your desire to remain alive. Grab what you can, get paid, and stay alive.

If this sounds cool to you, you can grab a free preview (with the old name) below.

Let me show you my favourite space things

Ok, time for the self indulgent ramblings.

(Potential) Spoilers for: Gravity, Interstellar, Contact, Arrival, The Expanse, the Alien series, the Thing, Annihilation, Homeworld: Cataclysm and Magnetic Rose.

Physics and Feelings at 10km/s

There are a lot of sci-fi horror TTRPGS out there. Like a lot a lot. Mothership, Death in Space, the Alien RPG, You're in Space and Everything's Fucked, the list goes on and on. Not that that matters - people should make the games they wanna make and I wanted to make a scary sci-fi game with spaceships, so eh fuck it.

Something I realised while writing stuff for Into the Blind and working on the system is that the themes and feeling of a lot of the sci-fi stuff I'm into didn't revolve around a towering monster skulking around dark spaceship. Like, sure, Into the Blind will have a nasty alien somewhere, I don't need to say that I like Alien or talk about why it's good (I do, it is, and I'm going to), but there's more to write about than monsters. Space is already intrinsically stressful and horrifying:

Neil Degrasse Tyson and Chris Hadfield can shut the fuck up, Gravity has some of the scariest, tensest scenes in a movie I've ever seen in my fucking life. After watching this you could never pay me enough to go to space. The only enemy here is inertia, the only monster are the principles of physics that cause a cloud of debris to whip through orbit at 22,000 miles an hour.

Aside from the spectacle, Gravity is a film about finding the will to go on when you have nothing to live for and everything's against you. It's heavily implied that Dr Stone went to space because she's tired of existing on earth (or at least that's my read). She wants mercy and relief from the pain of her life, and watching it you want to gift it to her so badly, but the debris field crashes into her life over and over. It's a relentless, uncaring solar tide that returns like clockwork when to fuck her up any time she gets a break.

These extreme forces also generate incredible tragedy and loss. Interstellar is kind of a dumb movie but despite the memes about this scene it always gets me. You don't know what you have until it's gone, and sometimes the distance between you knowing you've lost something and it becoming lost can (thanks to black holes and weird gravity stuff) slip by you in an age that feels like an instant.

Both Gravity and Interstellar have soft, beating hearts encased behind the layers of radiation shielding, technobabble and worn metal, and when the colossal forces that make the universe turn rip it open, they're laid bare.

That's a fucking cool thing to make a game about!

Indistinguishable from Magic

I'm not a big brain science person, when it comes to wormholes, relativity, folding space time and all that, I don't really get it. I just know that it's cool as hell and opens the door to powerful character stories about finding meaning and confronting your feelings at the edge of our understanding of reality.

Contact and Arrival are two sides of the same movie to me. Both are heavily grounded in big Theory and big Science Words, both are about powerful sciencey girlbosses who've lost something dear to them (one in the future, one in the past.) Contact leans more towards the hard science approach, but both are at their best when they're balanced on the edge of the plausible and the implausible. They're both about the incredible, incomprehensible nature of the universe. They're both about people who change the world, in ways both vast impercievable to everyone else.

They're both stories of hope and benevolence, but Contact frames this through 90's optimism and the power of nations working together towards a common goal (it's so optimistic, even the villain-coded megacorporation decides to help out, which uhhhh), Arrival frames these themes through personal tragedy - Dr Banks pays a high price to save humanity from itself.

Behind the calculations and clipboards and theories, these are stories about personal discovery, love and heartache.

These are also fucking cool things to make games about!

Magnetic Rose is probably the single biggest influence on Into the Blind - there's a full adventure heavily inspired by it in the preview. It's just so good. The visual design and animation are simultaneously grounded and real yet brilliantly beautiful and surreal. It's tragic gothic horror at the dark, gritty edge of space, and it's so good at being sad. The penultimate scenes in heart of the tomb-like space station, surrounded by rank brown water and decaying metal are heartwrenching. Heintz is tormented by visions of his past and you feel it so hard. The film doesn't care to tell you how this is all happening - are his memories ghosts? holograms? hallucinations? It only cares about the why, and it's incredible.

Breathable Air Prepayment Meters

It's been ages since I watched The Expanse, so I'm not gonna dwell on it too much, but what I remember focused heavily on how capital and government care little about those they govern and sell to.

The level that our existence is monetised and used as a cudgel against us currently can surely only expand along with our expansion into the stars. You can go there right now if you have enough money to do so, and when life beyond earth becomes feasible, the companies that financed it will need someone to clean the ducts and polish the solar arrays. The amount of things that can be sold to you can only increase out in space. You think rents are high now? Wait till you see the price of a 1 bedroom apartment in orbit around Mars. Add nice breathable mix of nitrogen and oxygen to your list of monthly outgoings. You think you'll be able to repair your C02 scrubbers without voiding the warranty? Fuck no.

The Alien movies are obviously (despite what some grognards on twitter dot com will tell you) deeply about extreme capitalism. The galaxy is ruled by companies that could not care less about you, and the bottom line is all that matters. This kinda matters less and less as the films wear on, but the first 3 are all about working class people sacrificed on the altar of the interstellar dollar.

Alien 3 in particular has a lot of problems, but the edgy teen in me is still really fond of this scene. It's doing a Big Foreshadow (Do you get it? The alien is like.. the flower he's talking about right? But the flower is bad?) But it feels like an appropriate lament for prisoners on the ass end of space. Despite what the company wants you to believe, the inmates of Fury 161 don't deserve to die, aren't expendable.

We all have flowers within us waiting to grow, out from the shadow of capital.

You might've noticed mentions of a nasty guy in those last clips.

Ok fine, also Monsters

We all love a little nasty guy, I cannot resist the pull of the weird monster that does Big Themes. Like I said, there's so much TTRPG stuff focused on them for good reason And space is ripe for the nastiest of guys.

There's really nothing more to be said about The Thing, it just fucking rules. It's a movie that cares as much about what a monster can do to peoples bodies as what it can do to their minds and relationships.

What a horrible fate for Sheppard. The idea of Annihilations mutant bear is just so sinister it makes my gut drop whenever I re-watch it. Again, not much else to be said about this movie. It rips.

Homeworld: Cataclysm is a weird game. It's a survival horror.. strategy game? Set in space? Where you never see a single person?? And somehow it's voice acting and plot is incredible???

The Beast is the nickname for the microorganism that emerges from the millenia old wreckage the mining vessel Kuun-Lan happens upon whilst scouring deep space for valuable minerals. The threat it presents is so real and visceral, it's one of those "if this hits our planet, it's so over" monsters, and it's obscenely scary and gruesome. Even the Bentusi, a race of nigh-on ageless benevolent machine beings are absolutely terrified, and try to abandon the galaxy in the face of it (they fear their biological minds will be trapped in their machine bodies if they're taken over by The Beast, locked in and forced to watch what it does to the galaxy. Damn.)

The scene where you and your fleet fight the Bentusi as they try to evacuate known space to force them to help you is intense and incredible. You're fighting gods, and all you can do is crash against their incredible technology again and again like a stiff breeze, pleading for help and humanity. You shame them into taking responsibility for helping the mortals in the galaxy against this ancient threat. That's the fear inspired by The Beast.

Thank you for coming to my Space Ted Talk

I told you it was self indulgent huh. Hopefully this goes some way to explaining what I'm going for with this game. Not only monsters, but the experiences of people trapped by incredible forces of nature, corporations and circumstance. Not only horror, but exploitation, sadness, love, longing and loss. Thanks for reading.

Again, if you want to check out Into the Blind, you can get the free preview below, and follow me on Itch to get notified for when game releases (soon? idk)

[nicosraf]

You liked a Tweet about saying how wanting to dismantle the Christofacist System is genocide. Xtianity is and always has been genocidal to people like me you bigot. You can hide behind your book being Queer but we know

I wasn't going to respond because I'm still not convinced you're being sincere, but I'll be sincere! I can't find the tweet I liked, but I remember it, I think. This is the last time I'm going to respond to you. But I do hope you read this.

On Twitter, someone shared that a Tiktok user supposedly dreamed that all the Christians were taken away in a Rapture and the world became a better place. Someone quoted that tweet saying that wishing an entire religion was gone was a fascist/genocidal position, which it is! Even if the religion is awful, it's genocidal to want a group of people dead, you know, for what they believe. It's just the definition of the word. Don't be afraid of it.

I'm really fascinated by your use of "people like me" and "we know." Why do you think I'm not like you? You don't know anything about me. I don't know anything about you. I could ask, but you could lie, so I won't. I know that you know yourself though. So, why aren't I like you? And who is we? You are you in community with?

Is that community stronger than the one you hold with me? If it is, why?

Do you think I'm a Christian? I've never said I am. I've never talked about my beliefs. And I won't because they're personal to me.

"Genocidal to people like me" - I keep coming back to this. You know, I really know genocide. I worked as a reporting fellow, and I met a journalist from Kashmir that wrote about the ethnic cleansing conflict. We had a good discussion making comparisons between the militarization occurring there and with the displaced people I was working with at the time along the Mexico-America border. I've seen genocide. I'm familiar with the de-humanization, the treatment like your people are dirty and need to be kept out and eradicated.

In Mexico, priests are murdered a lot. Sometimes it's really violent. Dismemberments and hangings and all that. It's really dangerous to be a priest in Mexico, but in some communities, they run the migrant homes, argue with paramilitaries. You ask, "Why are you doing this?" And they'll say it's their faith, it's why they became a priest. They believe in goodness.

I knew a priest who was threatened by organized crime. They told him to hand over the Cubans in his care. He said he wouldn't. And then he was "disappeared", and it's been 2 years now. We'll probably never find him. I can still see him really vividly in my head. His glasses, his hands clasped together.

At the same time, my poor Mexico has only adopted Christianity through genocide, right? I've written about that too. The Franciscans and the children of the noble Nahua-indigenous people who worked together to destroy the indigenous religion; they ran into the villages and stole the wooden figurines and burned them. And, you know, when Hernan Cortes introduced a statue of Mary to the indigenous people, it's said that they took her and put her beside a statue of an indigenous goddess. Cortes was so mad that he threw a violent tantrum.

Historically, Latin Americans have been seen as bad Christians. I've seen why. In my home town, there is a statue of the goddess of death. Her name is Santa Muerte. At the same time, most people who worship her will call themselves Christian. Christianity means different things to different people, religion usually does.

Christianity is not fascism, actually. I guess I'll die on that hill. Christianity isn't the white American evangelicals you might know calling for rapture and apocalypse. To me, it's been priests in migrant shelters, it's been Latin Americans clutching their rosaries because they spent days kidnapped and tortured. It's also been something that is deeply heretical – a death goddess – but still Christian because this person has decided it is.

It's also a horror to me. I was put in conversion therapy. I will never be a regular person because of what was done to me. I was put in a Christian school where I was harassed over my clothes by nuns, saw violent homophobic and transphobic attacks in front of me routinely. I will never be comfortable with my identity because of Christianity. I will spend the rest of my life suffering because of what was done to me, by people I trusted.

But I know genocide. I know what it looks like, I know what it is. And if you want 2.6 billion people dead, then I'll say that's a lot of innocent people dead. That's genocide. A lot of those in the third world, a lot of colonized people who've made Christianity their own.

I don't know how old you are. For your sake, I'll assume you're my age. In which case, I'm not going to say "touch grass." Instead, just, please, volunteer at a migrant shelter, volunteer at a soup kitchen, work to protect the rights of un-housed people, organize a strike. Speak with your neighbors and ask them if they ever want to hang out, how their jobs are going.

A book written by a trans gay Mexican poking fun at Christian lore and exploring his interest in angels is not.... worth saying all this. Again, I'm not going to reply if you send me anything like this again. But I hope your week goes well. I hope that you go to sleep cozy. And if you're afraid of how scary things are for queer/trans folk, then I'm with you. I really am. You know, I self-published to avoid the book getting banned by fascist-Christians, and when I first announced ABM, I was harassed by Christians; they told me they would burn my book.

I hope you can find some peace in between all the fear. I wish that for both of us.

[car-sounds]

Hello! Can you write about Alpheratz with a blind summoner? About helping them get through bullies

Alpheratz Defence

(again sorry for taking so long for this, I'm so sorry. Also sorry if I didn't portrait blindness correctly)

Alpheratz & reader (could be read as romantic)

2nd person

450 words

Summary: Alpheratz overhears people insulting you, and even when you hesitate to respond, he has your back.

Your last class of the day ended, and Alpheratz picked you up to go try out a new menu item at the coffee shop nearby as what was planned last night. 

When you got there it wasn't too busy, the excitement for something new must have worn off by the time you two decided to go. Most were empty but Alpheratz noticed a group of Contell students in one of the tables close to yours. They seemed to quiet down when you and Alpheratz sat down but he didn’t think much of it at first. 

They stayed relatively quiet until Alpheratz left to go order for the both of you and then they started laughing and insulting you like they thought you wouldn't be able to hear them. People at Contell knew you were blind, with being a new student able to summon without an imprint, any information people could find was spread throughout Contell quickly so it was a very well-known fact even to those who haven’t met you yet. The jokes seemed to be centered around your blindness. 

“They can’t see, they're all defenseless now that Alpheratz isn't with them. I don't know why they even hang out with someone who's not even a sorcerer and is blind. They probably have to take care of them all the time.” They all laughed like hyenas. Although you wanted to do something about them, for the sake of the cafe employees and the few other customers you held your tongue. After a while of keeping quiet Alpheratz came back, they didn’t notice him right away so he could hear what they were saying before they shut their mouths again. 

“Mc, are they bothering you?”

“Don’t worry about it let's just finish our drinks, alright,” Alpheratz can tell by the tone of your voice you’re upset and after putting the drinks you guys ordered down on the table walked over to the group. You could hear the nervous chatter coming from their table and Alpheratz's voice telling them to get outside. 

After a few minutes, he comes back, “Mc, don’t listen to what they say got it? They have no idea what they’re talking about. Next time someone treats you like that, don't hesitate to throw something at them. I’ll pay for any damages to the cafe and tip the employees a lot extra for having to deal with it so don’t worry.” 

“Alright. Thanks for dealing with them Alpheratz!” 

“No problem. But I wouldn’t say I’ve fully dealt with them yet. Wanna throw rocks at them with me for a bit before eating?”

“Sure!” the two of you get outside with the Contell group still on the ground from Alpheratz.

[pianostarinwonderland]

Hi there! I really liked your post on Chapter 7 and Malleus's actions!

Gotta admit I was one of those people whose initial reaction to Chapter 7 part 2 & 3 was "Malleus divorce era", mostly because of the copious amounts of "Malleus is the physical manifestation of every abusive and obsessive boyfriend they talk about in trauma group therapy" takes I've seen over the past 3 years in the tags messing with my perception of how bad the canon situation actually is but I came around eventually.

One thing that really stands out to me is how, in the first part of Chapter 7, Malleus made the active choice to be a good person and do the right thing. He shut down Silver and Sebek and said "If that's what Lilia decided, then we have no right to stop him" and when he reflects on that time he froze the castle over it's clearly visible he, at that point, has no intention to do something like this again. He has learnt 0 coping strategies for these kinds of situations and he has a week (which is like, a blink of an eye for fae especially) to adjust to the loss of one of his closest loved ones. Most of us find a way to deal with grief in some way because we're powerless in the face of it and the only way is through it but I've seen my fair share of very mentally ill people and grieving loved ones and I can name a handful of people I could see pull this off if they had god-like magical powers. Right now, Malleus's idea of what the immediate future was going to be like is radically clashing with a (to him) infinitely worse outcome that his brain has a week to adjust to, so he snaps.

He's basically the "insanely op magic" equivalent of someone with a loved one suddenly ending up on their death bed and they're told "you have about 5 days to say goodbye to them" so they start suggesting all kinds of insane surgeries and hire a mystic healer who advertises they can cure cancer with crystals and call all kinds of specialized hospitals around the world because they can't process the fact that that person is gonna go no matter what. That's the mental state Malleus is in right now even if Lilia probably isn't gonna immediately die in a couple weeks, but there's still a very real possibility Malleus is never going to see him again.

[Reply to this post!]

i am so sorry that i'm only getting to this now :,3 woohoo end of year spring cleaning

also when i finally found the post that was being responded to, i was reading it and i wanted to cringe so bad. it could have been written better :,3 i'm glad you guys liked it though!

on the first long ask, honestly anon, you nailed it really well. i don't really have much to say because yeah... yeah malleus has never learned to properly cope with grief and loneliness. much of it is due to the way he was raised and the lack of social interaction especially prevents him from getting to experience enough and thus hindering his learnings. and you're right. a week is too much to really process for someone like him. it's hard.

and i'm pretty sure lilia is very well aware of this, so it brings to question why he's in a hurry to leave. which in itself supports the current theory going around that he's not actually leaving for retirement, he's leaving because the senate demanded him to.

for the second ask, weelllll not everyone got to understand malleus' extremities, either due to not reading properly or not getting to read his stories at all. and that's how things went bam during the second part of book 7.

[shadowphoenixrider]

Personal Gambit Headcanons

Due to his powers, Gambit finds it very hard to sit still for long periods of time - thankfully small movements can calm this need, like finger-tapping. It's another reason why he practises his card-tricks in his downtime

It makes him an active sleeper, often rolling over and shifting about the bed when asleep, alternately curling against and moving away from any people he is sharing the bed with.

On the rare occasions when Gambit is caught napping, his body twitches rapidly during REM sleep, much like an animal.

Gambit will always pet stray cats, and they tend to be fairly amenable to his presence, either unbothered or rubbing around his legs. Despite his best efforts, he's not managed to convince the others to adopt one

He doesn't mind dogs, but some unpleasant run-ins with some when he was younger has made him wary of them, especially guard dog breeds.

He won't go out of his way to read himself, but it's not unusual for Gambit to read books from over peoples' shoulders out of curiosity. He'll get stand-offish if caught or teased about it

In a similar vein, Gambit is a very good listener and is content to listen to someone rattle off about something they're passionate about, or just in general. He'll sometimes bring things he's learnt this way up in conversation

He's absolutely an eavesdropper because of this, yet Gambit tends to keep what he learns to himself.

Well, Gambit might tell you. If you can give him some gossip in return (or beat him in a card game).

Gambit's occasional tendency to announce himself is mainly because he's suffered far too many startled reactions for turning up without people noticing he's there.

He also causes consternation for just disappearing from groups without warning (Scott's chewed him out for this several times, which only seems to make him do it all the more)

Has absolutely spooked people deliberately by standing in the dark so only his red eyes can be seen.

He tries not to cheat at card games, but he knows all the tricks and can switch very quickly if he doesn't want to lose.

Used to smoke, quit when he became an X-Man. Although it's been quite a while now, he'll still chew something to prevent the craving when he's anxious or stressed.

Gambit keeps a lot of things in his trenchcoat, and tends to have any odd end that you need like a pencil tucked away, as well as lockpicks and other sundries.

Can pole-dance, and as a result tends to hang from things at extremely weird angles. Proud of his prowess and doesn't take much convincing to get him to show off. Has absolutely jumpscared someone by saying hi whilst hanging upside down from the ceiling by his legs.

This man cannot sit normally on a chair even if he tries.

He'll deny it, but it tends to be Gambit who'll initially take extra care of newer members of the mansion/school, keeping an eye out for them. He steps back once they find their feet, with exceptions (like Jubilee).

Decided to annoy Cyclops one time by switching into Cajun French and talking shit. Learnt extremely quickly that the local telepaths will still know the jist of what you're saying, though.

Don't try to annoy him by speaking deliberately bad French at him; he will just respond in kind and won't switch back to English until you yield.

Once was thrown like a javelin by Rogue. Whilst effective, he'd would prefer not to repeat the experience - "Gambit gonna leave dat sorta thing to Wolverine."

Gambit's bisexual and Marvel will have to tear that fact from my cold, dead hands

[here2bbtstrash]

birthday drabble 11 - jjk

@ryujinsfemaledog asked: 18 + 25 + jk 🤭🤭

pairing: jungkook x reader contains: smut!! camboy!JK & camgirl!reader, they're ~just friends~ (who fuck) tho, JK has fangirls lol, chat-controlled vibrator, multiple orgasms, minor overstim, the smallest bit of dirty talk, condomless sex, DVP with a sex toy, crying after sex summary: your camming partner thinks he can handle your new toy.

want more? check out all my birthday drabbles here! requests for these are now closed 💜

Your comments have been a fucking disaster since you started camming with Jeon Jungkook.

There are your long-term viewers, mostly creepy straight dudes, who are pissed that you don’t solo stream as much as you used to. Those are easy enough to ignore, and the block button is your friend for the ones who stray a little too far into straight-up delusional territory.

There are your favorite group of viewers: the ones who are either some flavor of queer or just indiscriminately horny, and beg you both to fuck them, often with extremely creative suggestions. They regularly get into bidding wars (encouraged by you, naturally) to come up with the freakiest scenarios possible, trying to see who can get Jungkook to blush so hard his ears turn red.

And then there are the new viewers, who are specifically there for Jungkook, and love to demand that he leave you because they could treat him soooo much better. His “bunnies”, he’s affectionately labeled them. You have to roll your eyes and make a gagging face off screen when he says it. Who does he think he is, Hugh Hefner?

Yeah, your comments are a mess. Your bank account’s doing pretty good though.

You aren’t actually dating Jungkook, but you don’t need the people of the internet up in your business like that, so you let them think what they want. He’s been a good friend to you for a long time, and when you started casually hooking up, you learned he was great in bed– great enough that you felt a little sorry keeping it all to yourself.

So one night, after enough liquid courage, you admitted to him what you actually do for a living. As a long-term sex worker, you’ve heard just about every reaction under the sun to your career: you’re going to hell, that must be so sexy, oh I could never do that… but of course I support you. Blah blah blah.

Jungkook is the only person who’s ever surprised you with his answer: he leaned in, puppy-dog eyes wide, and whispered: “I’ve always wanted to do that."

That was when you knew you’d have fun with him. Though fun doesn’t quite seem like a strong enough word to describe it as the remote control vibrator shoved up inside of you works two back-to-back orgasms out of you– your second and third of the stream.

You’re spread out on the bed, propped up on your elbows so you can still read the chat, and everything from your neck down is shaking from the effort of staying upright despite the sheer pleasure rolling through you. You throw your head back as you cry out, doing your best to keep your legs wide for the camera as your pussy pulses again and again and again.

“Fuck, baby, was that another one?” Jungkook gently caresses a hand over your thigh as you writhe underneath his touch. He loves to play up the couple-y shit on stream, and you get it; his demographic eats it up. You could do without the pet names, but it’s not a big deal. He’s sweet, and really good at checking in with you.

It’s just a little hard to respond when you’re losing your shit. “Y-y-yeah,” you manage to gasp out, chest heaving with effort. “Two… oh fuck, t-two in a r-row.”

“Do you need a break?” His hand creeps closer to your core, ready and willing to remove the toy at your command. You squeeze your eyes shut and shake your head as your walls continue to flutter.

“No, no, no.” You say emphatically, doing your best to jiggle your tits to punctuate the words. When your eyes blink open, Jungkook shoots you a small knowing smile, his face turned away from the camera so that only you can see it. What can you say? You like to put on a show. “I need more.”

“I’m sure they can give you more.” You can barely think, let alone read, so he leans forward to check the screen of your laptop. “Thank you so much for your donation… JKDumpThatBitch69.”

You quickly close your eyes again so your audience can’t see them roll back in annoyance. These fucking girls, man.

“I’ll think about it, bunny,” Jungkook says with a shy laugh, and you don’t even have to look at him to know he’s shooting the camera a playful wink. You slowly open your eyes as the vibrations trail off, and you run a hand down over your cunt and the toy tucked inside it, mostly to make sure it hasn’t fucking fallen off yet.

“You always know how to make me feel so good,” you whimper for the camera, chasing the phrase with an exaggerated hiss as you squeeze your pussy lips around the vibrator.

Jungkook has told you that you oversell it sometimes– he’s the only one who’s seen both sides of you, so maybe he’s right. But when you glance over at him, he’s clearly enjoying himself, as indicated by the outline of his erection now straining against his tight black briefs. His tongue darts out to lick his lips, and you can’t help yourself.

“Come here, baby,” you stress the pet name on purpose, an inside joke between the two of you because he knows you lowkey hate them.

An anticipatory grin spreads over his face. Jungkook always looks so excited that he gets to fuck you, and you can’t deny– it’s quite the ego boost. You inhale sharply as a gentle round of vibrations rolls through you, but it’s nothing you can’t handle. Tilting up to read the screen, you rock your hips against the bed with a soft groan of appreciation.

“Thank you,” you have to squint to make sure you’re reading the name right, “BothOfYouTopMe420. Hear that one, babe?”

Jungkook has stepped out of frame to slip off his briefs and is now squeezing a healthy amount of lube into the palm of his hand. Your eyes drop heavy-lidded to watch the way he spreads it over his cock, knowing good and well the camera can’t see him: this part of the show is only for you. His tip is already starting to leak precum, and you bite down on your bottom lip at the sight as the toy continues to rumble inside you.

“Yeah, I think you’d look pretty good in a strap,” he says, loud enough that the stream will pick it up, and you laugh a little, not expecting that comment out of him.

“Maybe we can try that next time,” you tease. “Now will you please come fuck me?”

Stepping back into the shot, Jungkook kneels down on the corner of the bed, gently grabbing your legs and shifting you to the perfect angle for the camera. You’ve run the numbers on this– your content performs substantially better when his ass is in the frame. The people want what they want.

The toy has stopped buzzing for now, and you know exactly what everyone is waiting for. You’re a little jealous of the view they all have, that they get to watch Jungkook’s muscles flex as he braces himself on the mattress on either side of you, but you lose that thought entirely as he starts to push his length into you.

Nope, you correct yourself, you actually don’t give a shit about the view. Getting fucked by him is way better. They have every right to be jealous.

It’s definitely a stretch to take both him and the toy, but the lube does its job, and the three orgasms have certainly also helped get you relaxed and pliable. There’s barely any pain, you want him so bad.

“Feels so good, baby,” he groans, and you have to bite back the urge to tell him to buckle the fuck up.

The tip jar dings, and you brace for impact, but some kind soul clearly decided to go easy on you and give Jungkook a chance to get used to the lowest setting. You’re grateful for it, especially because you can already feel his cock twitching inside you, pressed tight between your walls and the toy.

“Oh fuck,” he moans, his hips starting to roll. “Do you like it, baby?” Translation: Is this still okay? It doesn’t hurt?

He’s too good to you. You nod your answer, lifting up to find his lips with yours as he starts to properly thrust. The two of you don’t do a lot of kissing when the cameras are off, and you always forget how nice it is, his lips so soft and warm. It’s good for the stream, you tell yourself, but your heart squeezes in your chest all the same.

When you hear the tip jar ding again, you know you won’t get lucky twice. You pull away from Jungkook with a smile, your muscles tightening in anticipation. “Get ready, baby.”

He talked a big game all morning about how he’d be able to take it, how good his stamina is, so you can barely hold your laugh in at the way his eyes roll back in his head when the highest setting kicks on. That’s what he gets for underestimating the bunnies.

“Oh my god–” Jungkook gasps, “oh my god.”

The feeling is insane even for you, and you quickly lose your ability to focus on him. You drop back against the bed, your back arching and your still-sensitive pussy shuddering at the intensity; you know the way you pulse around him only makes it that much harder for Jungkook to hang on.

“Fucking shit, baby,” he cries, rutting desperately into you, animalistic. “Yeah, so good, so fucking good, agh–”

The way he grinds against the toy pressed firmly into your g-spot is more than you can take, and you can only moan as you feel yet another wave of pleasure crest inside you.

“I’m coming, fuck,” you breathe, “I’m coming.”

Jungkook’s pace increases, ruthless now, as your walls squeeze tight around him and the vibrator, pushing the intense buzz so far into your core it makes your fucking teeth chatter. He doesn’t have the breath to say anything, but you can feel his cock pulsing inside you as his release hits, too, ropes of warm cum spilling out of him to fill up your already overfull cunt.

“Fuuuuuuuuck,” Jungkook finally manages to groan hoarsely as his head drops onto your shoulder. You can't believe he came that fast. As smug as he can be about it, his stamina is typically impressive.

You tip your head up when you feel something wet drip down your collarbone, wondering if he lost it so bad that he’s drooling on you. With one hand, you gingerly lift his chin up to look at you, only to realize a few tears are streaming down his face.

“Oh my god, Jungkook,” you say, momentarily forgetting your pet names. “Are you okay?”

He smiles shyly, clearly embarrassed, balancing on one arm so he can wipe his face with the other. “That was just really fucking intense. Fuck.” He turns to look at the camera, and you hide a giggle behind him because you know his fangirls are going to love this shit.

Jungkook drops his voice into the low end of his register, so fucking ridiculous that you have to bite down on his shoulder to keep yourself quiet. “I’ve never cried during sex before, but I guess there’s a first for everything.”

Once you've swallowed your laughter down, you release his shoulder to seek lazy kisses from him, smiling against his mouth, until you’re both a little more recovered. When he slips out of you, ducking out of frame once more to pull his briefs back on, you recenter yourself on the bed. Your walls continue to flutter tenderly as you move with the toy still inside you.

“Look at that pussy, so fucking messy,” Jungkook groans softly as you spread yourself wide for the camera again, his cum glistening as it leaks out of you onto the sheets. “How many rounds was that? Four?”

You trail a finger through your folds and bring it to your mouth, nodding at his question as you taste him on your tongue.

“God,” he laughs, “we’re about to break our own record. Think you can go for five, baby?”

Leaning back on your hands, you quirk an eyebrow at him, at the fact that he even has to ask. You’re a goddamn professional.

“Bring it on.”

[ya-boy-polaris]

Ooo is it possible if you can write a drabble about the confession part on the piers x reader x raihan one?

Raihan x GN Reader x Piers

"So how are we gonna do this?" Raihan asks Piers. The two were on a coffee date; gym leaders typically all get the same days off together.

"You gotta be more specific, love, we just sat down," Piers said with a breathy laugh.

"That isn't what I'm talking about, it's about them." This gets Piers' attention faster than you could blink. The two had confessed mutual romantic feelings for the same person, a close mutual of theirs. This particular friend is the whole reason why Raihan and Piers were able to confess their feelings to each other to begin with. But with recent times, they noted a yearning for their friend, wanting to include them in a potential polycule.

There were several factors in their way though, such as not knowing how their friend would react is a big factor.

"Do you even know if they like men?" Piers asks first. "In all the time I've known them, they've dated a woman...Well up until recently, maybe two years since...well...you know." Piers is mentioning an old ex their friend had. They were clearly not good for each other.

"Nah," Raihan says with a loud laugh, "They're so down bad for men. I follow their nsfw blog." Piers' deadpan stares at Raihan. "You'd be surprised but our little friend is naughtier than they appear to be. As cute as they are, they're filled with dirty little secrets."

Piers lets out the kind of laugh where you exhale harder through your nostrils. "You're right about the cute part...not sure how accurate you are about them having secrets. Considering how much we know about them."

"So how should we do this? If we're not fast enough, someone else might catch their attention. Not that there's anyone better than us though."

"Us both giving Applins... Could be a start but I'm not sure how they'd feel with two extra mouths to feed," Piers sighs. Giving an Applin, a well known dragon type Pokemon, is seen as a romantic gesture to indicate one's confessions. "They have enough Pokemon to care for, if you consider it." "Yeah, an Applin's not flashy enough either for my personal taste. It would be nice to do something more...unique. Personal to both of us. The three of us."

"I think it'd be better if we confessed at the same time, as opposed to doing it separately for sure," Piers recommends. "That way it doesn't insinuate we're cheating on each other. But doing a double confession takes away individuality." Raihan bites his inner cheek. Piers is right about that. Piers could have easily dedicated a solo concert whereas Raihan could have done a fun and intense battle to confess instead. "Taking them on a vacation somewhere just to confess could end poorly if they don't reciprocate either, wouldn't it? If they don't respond positively..." "They're gonna!" Raihan protests back, but after a moment of silence he does agree. If the three of them went on a vacation together and their friend didn't like them back, they'd be the third wheel for the entire trip.

The two agonize in a small silence before the waiter comes to pick up their order. A caramel latte for Raihan and cup of hot tea for Piers, along with their usual meal order.

"I do have one idea. Not sure how much you're going to like it though," Piers finally says.

"Well out with it, we got no other plans."

"How good are you at singing?"

~~~

You let out a long yawn as you exit the university school dorm room. It had been a long day of studying! After working several good years at Pier's gym as his stage manager, with some encouragement from your two favorite boys, you decided to go back to school.

You read a message in your group chat, Raihan and Piers were wondering if you wanted to hang out with some karaoke. "FUICK YEAH!!!" you type back. "Where at?" The two instruct you to come to Pier's place, as per usual.

You hop on to the soonest taxi and fly over to Spikemuth. The locals there recognize you and yell out your name gleefully as you walk down the streets. Despite the rough and gritty nature the city has, it's a second home to you. You walk right up to Pier's door, knocking on it twice and yelling to announce your arrival before using your own key to unlock and enter inside.

But once you step inside, Pier's usual monochromatic apartment seems to have changed. They were roses everywhere adorning each step, there was beautiful ambience lighting that made the room feel like you were walking through stars, and soft music playing.

You enter the apartment to see Pier's playing a bass, practicing it seems. It'd been years since you've seen him pick up an instrument. "Hey boys," you say with a warm smile. "What's the occasion? We haven't done this in a while."

"We like you," Raihan is quick to say first. Piers shoots him a look, wanting to have done the song at least first. "This song's for you, we uh..."

"We learned it," Piers finishes Raihan's sentence. "It's not ours but it conveys how we feel about you....but it could be our song after."

You stand there, eyes wide in shock, jaw dropped slightly. Before you could say much more, Piers presses a button and the track starts to play as he accompanies it with his bass.

Raihan for once feels nervous, this wasn't the same kind of tension he'd feel with facing a losing battle. But with a soft and yearning heart, he sings as Piers plays. The whole piece is so soft and yearning. You can't help but to smile, hiding your face with your hands every so often as the two catch your gaze. You sit there in the most serene peace you've ever felt in years.

When the song is over, both of the boys stare back at you, a momentary pause of silence between you all. "Can...Can I kiss you guys?" you ask, your face burning red. "Finally!" Raihan exclaims. "Yes, you may," Piers says back warmly.

You kiss them both on the cheek lightly, still feeling rather apprehensive over the whole ordeal, but the two boys go along at your pace, kissing your face at the same time.

The night wasn't over though! You were promised karaoke after all.