#added some music. not for any particular reason but it helps me when writing these kinds of things

[escapismkidnappedme]

My mom's side of the family is the side everyone goes to for Thanksgiving. My bio dad isn't in my life (thankfully) and my step dad's parents aren't alive, so it always made sense. It's even a thing with all of my relatives, even the in-laws of my family. Everyone goes to this side of the family's Thanksgiving. When I was much younger, there came a silent question for us cousins if we would go to this family's Thanksgiving, or our future partner's Thanksgiving. Every time it stayed the same, except for when my sister went to two Thanksgivings on the same day to see both her ex boyfriend's family, and ours, so she didn't miss out on anything. Sure, we've had cousins who couldn't make it, with two in the military and one family going through the divorce one year, we can't always have everyone in the same place at the same time, but for the most part we do.

Last year was my final Thanksgiving, and probably Christmas with my family. I believe everyone there knew it, or at least felt it. I never truly fit in with my family, I had a few cousins who tried their best to understand me, and got glimpses through shared interests, with a big family you're bound to have a few people to talk to, if just to keep the deafening, isolating, and debilitating silence away.

I'm the first child, nephew, cousin and grandchild to spend Thanksgiving with my partner's family instead of my own. I spent years dreaming of this moment, but now I'm spending days dreading this moment. Perhaps it's most of the motivation to choose my family's Thanksgiving and Christmas to go to, but if you don't go, you are being talked about. Those cousins and family unit were relentlessly talked about, wishing they had been there but hoping they were doing well and in good health, hoping work was going well and hoping school wasn't destroying their very sense of self. Then came the stories of them in past years, months, weeks, days, and sometimes hours. Then came the gossip. You never needed to particularly ask how my family felt about someone, you knew.

A part of why it took so long for me to be diagnosed with autism is because my family didn't worry too badly about social cues, of course we had them, but they were spelled out and I could manage to keep my head above the sea of conversation for long enough that it never occurred to me that I was bad at social cues due to autism, a thing that didn't exist in my mind because my family's always been a bunch of jokesters who "Don't care what other's think about them."

But they cared what others knew how they felt about others. My sister, one lucky enough to be graced with the understanding of social cues, but not so much conventional intelligence, became the target of such gossip when she missed Thanksgiving one year for a client who absolutely needed her hair done that day or she would die. I remember how it started. Everyone wished she was there, hoped the hair ended up looking good, hoped college wasn't destroying all of her dreams, and began to tell funny stories about her, then began to tell 'funny' stories at her expense. When she was told about this she laughed it off, faked outrage and was met with the classic "Well if you don't like what we talk about, don't miss the conversation."

Later we talked as 'sisters' do. I wasn't out yet as trans and even though I am a guy, I can't ignore the weird bond we still have by being raised with female expectations. And she told me how it hurt to hear her entire family dismiss her as a ditsy blonde. I told her of how I tried to defend her, saying things like "To her credit, she is smart in a lot of things. She can talk to ANYONE and find common ground and communicate effectively, that's hard to do." But lamenting that it was met with little to no enthusiasm or understanding, except for a cousin or two who agreed and were probably the only two who understood what I meant, or cared to try to understand. I was never able to avoid a family event again unless I was severely sick and throwing up, like my second to last Christmas with my family. It was 2020 and I had a cold, wasn't risking it with no vaccine for covid out yet and grandparents who were high risk. I got lucky and we found out my uncle had been cheating on my aunt. There were bigger fish to fry than my "liberalism" and need to argue.

I struggle between three thoughts, hoping my sister and step-brother defend me as I've defended them against the arrows of my family's gossiping habit, a problem I've been trying to fix with myself in my adult years, a hope that they don't defend me so they can survive through the awkwardness of being the only ones knowing that not only is my partner Nonbinary, but that I'm trans and will be misgendered and deadnamed, I don't want them, especially my step-brother who's stuck under that house, to be in any kind of danger, I'm not worth them getting kicked out. And a third part of me, that wishes I would finally stop giving a fuck about what my family, people I've spent my entire life around who have never truly known me, and who I don't want to know me, think.

I'm the first child, nephew, cousin and grandchild to spend Thanksgiving with another family, and while I can't ever tell anyone why, while I can only sit here and cry. I can't help but be happy that I finally made the decision I've been dying to make for so many years. I hope they talk about me, I hope my parents find a reason why I wasn't there, I hope it's the worst piece of slander she can think of, and I hope they gossip about me. At least I know they love me enough to keep telling my stories, even if they're all lies.

[ireadwithmyears]

How each member of the bad batch would be with a visually impaired significant other (short imagine’s/headcannons

Word count: 5.4K

Pairings: the bad batch ex female reader (individual)

Tags/warnings: some are suggestive, mostly domestic fluff, hurt/comfort, mild injuries

note: look, it’s the epitome of self indulgence. I wrote this solely because I’m blind, and have never seen these ideas discussed when it comes to our beloved boys. However, I recognize that the majority of people reading this will not have shared this experience, so this is why I am adding a disclaimer/reminder to tell you that blindness is a spectrum, and the majority of us have at least a degree of useable vision left, so that is why I continue to use visual language/descriptors like look or watching. That being said, I hope you enjoy these, I had so much fun writing them, and if you have an idea for a specific scenario so I can do more of these, or another particular clone who isn’t a member of the batch, please let me know, and I would be happy to write more

Hunter🩷 

Hunter is the best at planning dates when it comes to keeping your accessibility and comfort in mind. 

If he wants to take you out somewhere, he’ll always go and scope it out beforehand, analyzing things that might not make it an enjoyable experience for you. I.e. if the lighting is too low and will obscure any of your remaining vision. If the music is too loud and will make it hard for you to effectively communicate with him. He knows that both of these things, especially when they’re working in tandem, can make you feel on edge and anxious, and that’s the last thing he wants you to feel when he’s taking you out on a date.

He will always ask the establishment about things like accessible or braille menus, or, if you happen to have a guide dog, seating that will have the space to accommodate and be comfortable for all of you.

If the menu isn’t accessible for you, he will always give you a heads up beforehand, using his datapad to pull up the menu on the holonet so that he can help you familiarize yourself with it, and you can decide what you want before you get there, taking a lot of the stress and pressure off of you because you don’t have to rush.

He wants you to feel cherished, loved, and safe when you’re out and about with him. So if you are going somewhere that’s particularly busy or crowded, he will also adapt himself. 

He’ll keep you close, whether it’s with your arm tucked securely in the crook of his elbow to guide you around, or his hand gently placed on the small of your back, letting it rest there so that you know he’s right there with you.

He never plans on getting separated from you, but if, by some unforeseen circumstance, it happens by accident, he has a plan for that too. 

If you’ve got remaining vision that is useable, he will intentionally wear bright, contrasting colours to make him easier to spot, even when he’s a distance away. 

If you don’t have any remaining vision, he’ll wear something like keys that jingle, or an article of jewellery that makes a distinct sound as he walks so that you can tell when he’s approaching. 

Regardless, every time you go on a night out, he will take the time to describe his appearance to you in detail, his general physical description, what he’s wearing, so that if, for some reason, you do get separated, you know how best to describe him to someone, so that they can locate him for you and help you make your way back to him

His enhanced senses have become innately attuned to your normal patterns and rhythms, and if he notices any rapid fluctuation or change be it with your breathing or heart rate, indicating that the environment you’re in is causing you stress, he’s whisking you away, taking you back home, despite any of your protests. He knows you’re just fighting him because you feel guilty about potentially messing up the night, which you absolutely are not.

He will not let you feel that way for long, because when you’re home, he is determined to make you feel like the beautiful, treasured, and wanted human being that you are.

He orders your favourite takeout food. He’ll lie you down on your bed, surrounding you with soft blankets and pillows, gently and tenderly beginning to caress and massage the tension from your tensed up shoulders and back, partly because he feels like he might have inadvertently been the cause of it being there in the first place.

“I’m sorry,” you try to apologize. “I know you really wanted to...”

“Shh,” he quiets your apology, a hand coming up to softly brush a finger against your lips, resting his forehead against yours gently. “Meshla,” he breathes, unable to help the small smirk of amusement that pulls at the corners of his mouth as he observes, taking note of your breath audibly catching in the back of your throat as his finger, slow and slightly teasing, begins to lightly trace the edge of your bottom lip.

He presses his lips to yours in a sweet, chaste kiss as he affirms, “this is all I want,” he breathes in a whisper close to your ear that immediately has your whole body erupting in goosebumps.

“You,” he continues, his voice a low, husky rumble against your neck as his lips press, warm and deliberate, directly where your pulse flutters beneath them, pulling a soft, yet audible gasp out of you, that makes his lips curve up into a smile that you can feel against the skin of your neck.  “Are all I want.” 

He spends the rest of the night taking his time to prove that to you, in every way that he knows how.

*

Tech🩷

He takes note of every single bruise you get on your legs from bumping into shit all the time. 

You’re blind, it’s just an occupational hazard. You might not even notice that you have one, but he certainly does, and he’ll take care to notify you of every time you accumulate a new mark in your collection.

“There is a bruise directly above your left knee,” he observes, gentle fingers tracing over the mark with a soft frown marring his features. 

He naturally has picked up on using the language that is most helpful to describe the location of something visual to you. You didn’t even have to ask the first time you were on hands and knees on the floor, feeling around for one of your shoes. He didn’t point, and say “it’s over there,” which is just instinctive habit for most people. Instead, he had a used more specific directives like “behind you, on a slight diagonal to your right.”

“How did this happen,” he asks softly now, placing your hand directly on top of the blossoming mark on your leg.

You give him a half shrug and a rueful smile. “I don’t know,” you admit, honestly puzzled. “It happens all the time.”

From then on, he observes you closely, quickly coming to the realization that there are things that are just harder for you to look out for, and, just as quickly, doing his best to rectify each one. He’s easily able to identify a pattern of cause and effect that lead to your many bruises, bumps, and small every day accidents, and rather than being over bearing and cautious with you, he just figures out a way to remove the root of each problem entirely.

Each step on the Marauder’s gangway is suddenly marked with a long strip of brightly coloured tape at each edge, so that you can more confidently move down the steps without having to fumble to find the edge with your foot.

Low sitting caf tables in the middle of the living room, with sharp, jagged corners jutting out are suddenly pushed up against the wall, so that you don’t have to be careful while stepping around them, trying not to hit your leg off of one of them.

He makes sure that any overhead cupboards in the kitchen that are hard for you to notice until your head is colliding with their open doors, are kept securely shut, recalling a particular incident when, whilst putting away dishes, your head had caught on one of the cupboard doors, large bump blossoming on your forehead, just barely missing your eye. He had frowned, gently holding an ice pack to the swelling bump, deciding that from now then on, he would put any of the dishes away that needed to go on the top shelves. He wouldn’t budge on this, even when you tried to argue.

“Cyar,” he had said, voice stern, even as he gently took you by both of your shoulders. “I understand your need to be able to do things independently, and I respect it greatly. But, as much as you can make a light about getting bruises on your legs from these little incidents. Your head is much too important to apply that same lightness to, and I will not compromise on that so please, let me do this for you.” he had leaned down, barely brushing his lips over the bump on your head in a caring, affectionate gesture, and that had made your resolve completely crumble.

He’s also hyper aware of your systems and ways of organizing things, and it has become a habit for him to make sure that it is maintained. 

Shampoo and conditioner bottles that look almost identical with exception to the labels that isn’t much help to you are always set in a specific order for you to find in the shower. You always leave things like your wallet and your cane in the same place, and if anyone messes with these orders, it can really throw you off.

If anyone does touch or move any of your things, regardless of how insignificant, without telling you first, Tech will find out, and, especially if it’s one of his brothers, will thoroughly scold them for it, ensuring that they understand why somethings so small could be really frustrating and disorienting for you, and makes sure that they never do it again.

If you read braille, this man learns it for fun one day on a whim, and he doesn’t even tell you about it.

He’ll put away your groceries for you one day, and then you’ll be searching for something like a dinner ingredient, and find that he’s attached a braille label to the box, with completely correct use of the six dots that form the language.

When you confront him with it, he only shrugs, adjusting his goggles with a slightly confused expression.

“You sound surprised,” he observes with one raised eyebrow. “In a practical sense, this was a logical solution,” he continues, clearly unfazed by your display of shock.

“That’s not fair,” you pout, leaning against the counter and folding your arms. “If you’re going to learn braille, then you at least need to teach me some Mandoa,” you challenge.

“I was not aware that you were interested in the subject. But that is an agreeable request. What would you like to know?” He asks, looking at you questioningly.

“Like,” you bite your lip, considering, tilting your head in curiosity. “What’s that word that you always call me?” You ask. “It starts with an S? I think? Or maybe a C...c cyar?” You say, suddenly uncertain and cringing at your own pronunciation.

He straightens, suddenly grateful that you’re unable to see the blush that’s crept into his cheeks as he answers evenly. 

“Ah, yes, the word that you were saying is correct. Cyar... it means, love... or beloved,” he answers, voice going soft as he catches your hand in his, almost absently pressing his lips to the back of your knuckles briefly as you stare at him, surprised.

“You ... you love me?” You ask, hopeful and voice clearly bewildered. The smile that pulls at the corners of your lips lights up the whole room. 

Both eyebrows arch as he looks down at you, because now he’s the one who’s confused. When he responds, his voice is far less confident and sure than it usually is. It holds almost a shy, completely uncharacteristic timidness, which conveys the genuine honesty in his words when he speaks.

“Well ...cyar. of course I do. I thought it was obvious.”

*

Echo🩷 

Echo, unlike most people, understands all the aches and pains, mental and physical, that come with being disabled.

He’s sat with you on the bathroom floor, your head resting against the cool linoleum of one of the tiles on the wall after a concert. You had come home to find your head throbbing from the after affects of being surrounded by a combination of extremely loud music, a screaming crowd, and strobe lights that made you wish that you didn’t have any remaining vision at all. 

Your eyes were shut tightly, and  your heart fluttered with surprise and gratitude when, with his one functioning hand, Echo, movements slow and meticulous, carefully began to undo your hair from the tight updo it had been forced into all night. There he sat, fingers so, so gentle as they ran through your hair, undoing the tangles and soothing away some of the tight ache that had gathered at the back of your head. 

He’s careful to stay quiet, not wanting to interrupt the little bit of peace that you had found. The only thing that fell from his lips were gentle breaths and soft murmurs of “oh, sweetness, s’okay,” lips pressing the lightest kisses to your flushed cheek, the side of your aching forehead, until the painkillers had finally, finally kicked in.

If you’re a cane user, he always has his eyes peeled for the little bumps and cracks along the sidewalk.

He’s seen what happens when the tip gets caught in one of them, when the handle inevitably jabs against your stomach or ribs and the immediate discomfort on your face that follows.

He also sees the bruises that are left there afterwards, and as much as he loves gently pressing his lips to each of them, reassuring you that he’ll kiss them better, he’d rather them just not be there in the first place.

So, he always watches out for them, giving you an ample warning on ones that your cane could get caught in so that you can move it out of the way. 

He takes you to a holofilm, and you both don’t realize that it’s not available with audio description until you’re in your seats and the headset doesn’t work. He immediately turns to you, giving you a reassuring smile and offering his hand, saying “We can leave, if you want. If you’re not going to get anything out of this, we can go, and we’ll find something else to do.”

You decide to stick it out, rationalizing that you’ll still be able to get something out of the film, if not the whole story, and besides, he can catch you up on parts you didn’t understand after it’s over. 

In the end, it’s still worth it for you.  

You finish half of a bag of popcorn before commercials are even over. You’re intrigued by the movie for almost half of it, and then finally, you spend the rest of it passed out with your head resting on Echo’s shoulder, only for him to wake you, slightly chagrined, when the credits are rolling.

When you’re out of the theater, you walk together hand in hand down the street. He apologizes profusely, saying that he should have done more research. You try to laugh it off to reassure him that it was fine, because you just had one of the best naps of your life in that theater. When it’s clear that that doesn’t help, you’re turning to him, sighing with a small frown.

“Echo,” you say with a small shake of your head. “I’m the one who should be sorry, not you, love.” At his look of bewilderment, you continue. “You do so much for me already, and I’m just so, so grateful for that. It’s not always something I feel like I can repay you for.” You look away, ashamed. 

Because it’s true. He has his own set of issues and lingering problems from the injuries he sustained at the citadel. You can encourage him to do things like his physiotherapy exercises that ensures that his cybernetics are working in tandem with his body. But you can’t actually help him with them, whether it be with making modifications or repairs. It sometimes makes you feel a bit useless, because he helps you so much and you feel like you can only help him so little, and you feel like you’re just adding to his already overflowing plate sometimes.

“I know there could be easier people for you to be with,” you confess, voice quiet.

Echo stops dead at the street corner, catching your wrist to stop you from moving forward, and turning to fully face you with his brow creased in a frown.  

“Oh, Cyar’ika,” he says, voice soft, reaching out a hand to tilt your head up so that you’re looking at him. “Now who put that idea in your head, ner kar’ta?” he whispers, gazing down at you with pursed lips.

Unexpected tears spring to your eyes at his gentle tone. The truth is that you can’t place this feeling on a singular person, though people have contributed to it. Family members have made comments in passing, strangers who look at the two of you and immediately begin to judge from there own preconceived notions and outside opinions. It’s society at large, who has made you feel like your blindness is a burden to the ones you love. 

You don’t know how to say that, though. So you remain silent as Echo leans down, dropping a lingering kiss to your forehead as he whispers, “I don’t need you to make my life easier, cyar. You make my life meaningful, and that, to me, is more important. 

He rests his forehead against yours, brushing a soft kiss to your lips. “Your needs don’t make you a burden, cyar’ika. I want you to remember that. I want to make sure that they are always being met. It’s the least I can do, you understand?”

All you can do is nod, your heart in your throat. 

The next time you go see a holofilm with him, and the audio description isn’t available, Echo is prepared this time.

He still offers to leave, but when you refuse, he has a plan. In his own time, and on the occasions when you both have been watching something at home, he always makes sure the described video settings are on, for your benefit, and when he’s alone, for his.

He’s observed closely, listening and carefully paying attention to how the narrator’s go about describing things. So, when the movie starts, he leans over to you, keeping his voice low and quiet, beginning to describe to you what’s happening onscreen, careful to never interrupt any dialogue.

You stare at him, more than a little surprised. “Echo, are you going to do this for the whole film?” You ask, caught off guard and delighted all at once.

He gives you a quick nod. “Yes,” he answers matter-of-factly. “Now, be quiet and let me do it.”

True to his word, he does, staying close to you and keeping his voice quiet, so as not to disturb anyone around you. If someone still tries to shush him or gives him a dirty look for talking in the theater, he glares at them, in only the way that Echo can, until they stop.

This time, you stay awake during the whole film, watching intently, and listening to echos every word as he is meticulous in describing the visual things that you’re missing. In spite of all of the things that are different in comparison to your last date, one thing still remains the same.

You still finish the movie with your head resting on his broad shoulder, and he still looks at you like you’re the centre of his world.

*

Wrecker🩷 

The first time you make a blind joke about yourself in front of him, he’s terrified. 

Instinctively, he starts laughing, but then, registering your words, he immediately cuts himself off, not wanting to offend you, and is concerned that you’re being mean to yourself, which he will not allow. 

When you only snort at his reaction, playfully nudging him and explaining how it’s fine, because you have to make fun of the things that you are unable to change, and how it’s actually a mark of self love if you have the ability to laugh at yourself, slowly, he begins to understand. 

Soon enough, he not only readily laughs at your self deprecating humour and blind jokes, but at one point, he ends up slipping out one of his own before he can stop himself.

Again, he’s immediately apologetic and regretting his words, but when you throw back your head and laugh heartily, he feels a little less insecure and soon enough, you both have the ability to crack blind jokes with each other without missing a beat, to everyone else’s chagrin and fond amusement. 

He decides that having the ability to make you laugh, getting to watch your eyes sparkle with amusement and hearing the sounds of your joy is music to his ears, and is one of his favourite things. 

Wrecker is your number one protector. Not in a toxic, over protective way.

Even though he’s only got one functioning  eye, chances are he’s still got more vision than you, so he’s taking it upon himself to be the working set in this relationship, meaning he’s always watching out for you.

If you’ve got a guide dog, the first time he encounters it, he might have gone to pet it, but, before he did, he sees the do not interact sign, and stops short, quickly pulling back and apologizing. 

He asks questions, just to make sure he understands why it’s important, and after you explain it, he fully respects the boundaries and never forgets them, to which you are immensely thankful.

He doesn’t understand why you’re so grateful for him just doing the decent thing, until you tell him that a lot of people understand that you’re not supposed to pet the dog, but will either do it anyways, thinking that if you can’t see them doing it and they do it silently, you won’t notice, or they’ll talk in a distracting way to the animal, which is sometimes worse, and equally as distracting for the dog to work through.

This angers him, that they would take advantage of your blindness in such a disrespectful manner, and because you’ve explicitly told him that distracting your dog could potentially put you in danger, under the right circumstances.

From then on, he’s always watching.

If someone is petting your dog while it’s working, or trying to distract it, he’s right there, towering over them and glaring with his arms crossed, not so subtly pointing at the do not pet sign until they back away, stuttering and flustered.

If a child runs up to pet it, he’ll much more gently intercept them, crouching down on the ground to quietly explain to them the rules. In your experience, children are often much more respectful than adults, and watching him interact so kindly with them melts your heart every time.

Wrecker is tall. Standing at 6 feet six, it makes him not the most ideal guiding companion.

If he’s guiding you himself, sometimes, unintentionally, his elbow might knock against your head, for which he is immediately aware of, and instantly apologetic. 

He will always stop, large hands gently cradling the sides of your face as he looks you over, worried that even the slightest bump from him could leave a bruise. Regardless of what he finds, though, he’ll always lean down, dropping a kiss to your forehead with a soft, “m sorry, meshla.”

His solution to this problem, however, is a tad bit unconventional. 

When confronted with a situation where it’s just more efficient for him to guide you, for example, a street blocked off by construction, taped off areas and pylons everywhere, instead of offering you something like his hand or his wrist to hold, he simply reaches down, scoops you up into his arms and carries you over his shoulder until you’ve both cleared the obstacles together, you letting out a surprised squeak and giggling all the while.

Wrecker finds you beautiful, every day, all the time, and he is constant with his reminders of that.

As a blind person, it can be more difficult to coordinate a whole outfit, look, hair, and make up. He is so appreciative, and loves if you do that. But, if you’re one of those blind people who never learned how to do make up, who isn’t as confident in their sense of personal style, and you feel a little bit self-conscious about how much, or how little, in your opinion, effort you put into your look when you’re going out on a date with him, he will quickly assuage your fears the minute he catches wind of them.

He’s very good at detecting those days where you’re not feeling good about your appearance, just intuitively sensing when you’re having a bit of an off day, and when you could use a reminder of how beautiful and precious you are to him. He knows he can’t magically change your mind.

But he can  tell you about all the things he finds attractive about you, every day, if you need that reminder.

He’ll tell you of each one, each part of you that he finds beautiful beyond belief, while taking the time to softly caress and kiss each one, with whispered affirmations of “Such a pretty little thing,” and “You’re perfect, cyar, absolutely perfect.”

And if that’s not enough, he’ll keep going, keep moving downwards until he can look up at your beautiful face, watching from in between your parted thighs as your lips form equally beautiful noises for him.

*

Crosshair🩷 

It isn’t that Crosshair doesn’t want to help you. It’s just that, honestly, he’s a little bit hesitant to, in the beginning, fearing that he might overstep, because he places such a high value on choice, and respects your independence and autonomy to much to question you and your abilities.

He trusts that, if you need his help, you’ll come to him and ask. He also trusts that you’ve been living with blindness for a long time, maybe even since birth, and you’re aware enough to know your boundaries and limits, trusting that you’ll advocate when you need him to help with one of those limits.

Just because he doesn’t help you as much in the physical sense, does not mean he isn’t your number one advocate, because he absolutely is. 

For example, if you’re a guide dog user, and you both are going out together using a ride sharing app. If the driver refuses to let you in they’re speeder because of your service dog, he will wait patiently for you to explain, analyzing every micro expression of the driver and knowing when they’re still not listening to you, and he will step in without hesitation.

Wearing his most menacing glare, and in a voice that is deadly calm, he will absolutely read them the riot act. He knows every law regarding your guide dog, and knows just how properly to phrase them in a way that will make the driver scared, usually when he mentions the 5000 credits fine they could be sued for not denying you access 

He’s also keeping his eyes out to make sure that no one distracts your dog, and isn’t afraid to directly confront anyone who tries, saying something snarky like, “You know, maybe you’re the one who needs a guide dog, if you can’t read the don’t pet me sign that’s right in front of your face,” paired with a signature eye roll.

They always back away stuttering, and it always makes you laugh, even as you gently rebuke him, saying “Cross, that was a bit rude.”

He scowls, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you against him as he responds.

“And you, sweet girl, are too nice,” he purrs lowly against your ear. But, with the way that he begins to nuzzle at your neck, you don’t really think it bothers him that much.

If you’re one of those blind people who feels like asking for help is just burdening other people with your problems, and would rather risk facing the consequences by trying to do something yourself, rather than ask for help, he will find out, and he will not be pleased in the slightest. 

Your stubbornness is something that he loves about you. But if it has a tendency to go too far, especially if you’re putting yourself in harms way, that adoration will quickly turn to frustration.

For example, one time, you both were staying at a place that had a glass topped stove. 

These things are so inaccessible for blind people, it’s not even funny. But rather than admit defeat and let him cook dinner, you decided that you could figure it out, and gave it your best shot. 

Your best shot ended with you trying to line up the pot with the burner, and very quickly, receiving a searing burn on your hand from touching the heat. 

You had not anticipated it getting that hot that fast , and as you quickly pull your hand away, tears prick at the corners of your eyes as you let out a pained hiss.

““what are you doing?”

He had materialized behind you from seemingly out of nowhere, voice a silky, yet tensed coil as he reaches around you carefully, quickly flicking off the burner before long, dextrous fingers wrap  around your wrist, still gentle, even as he insistently pulls your hand away from where you’ve been clutching it to your chest, eyes keenly examining the burn with a soft frown on his face.

Wordlessly, he guides you over to the kitchen sink, hand on the small of your back, turning the water on cold and carefully placing your injured hand beneath the stream. 

Only then does he come to stand in front of you, placing both of his hands on your shoulders, his expression hard as he looks down at you. 

“What were you thinking, cyar?” He grits out, voice almost a growl as he tries to understand. “Why didn’t you wait for me? I could have helped and prevented this,” he gestures to your hand. “From happening.”

You blame the trembling in your voice on the lingering throbbing ache in your hand.

“I’m s sorry. I I thought that I could figure it out. You were busy, and I didn’t want to bother you B because I’m scared that I burden you with all the help I need sometimes and.”

“Stop,” he cuts you off in one quick, decisive syllable, and you instantly fall silent.

He tilts your chin up with one hand, guiding your eyes to look at him. His lips form a thin line when he sees the glimmer of unshed tears there. When he next speaks, his voice is still firm, but there is an underlying gentleness and softening in his tone. It has lost its hard edge, and it’s protective bite.

“You are not a burden, to anyone, but especially to me.”

“But,” you try to interject, but he easily silences you, taking your face in both of his hands and cradling it gently.

“Shh, cyar, listen to me,” he says, his voice a quiet command.

“If you are a burden, then you are my burden. In the same way that I am yours.” He takes your uninjured hand in his, relaxing his fingers against yours,  allowing you to feel it’s tremors.

Oh.

It’s been so long since his hand has shaken like this. He’s worked so hard to try and work through this particular trauma, and though it hasn’t completely gone away, it only begins to tremble during moments of high stress. You flush with shame, realizing that this moment of high stress is completely on you.

“I know what you’re doing, and stop it,” he says, voice stern, squeezing your hand in a silent warning. “Look at me, cyar’ika,” he continues, voice softening.

When you do, he continues. “If we are each other’s burdens, then we take care of each other, together. Do you understand me?”

You nod, actually stunned into complete silence at his proclamation.

“Good,” he says, voice softening further. He leans forward, pressing a slow, lingering kiss to your lips, fingers gently caressing the side of your neck as he pulls back.

He gives you a playful nudge as he smirks.

“Don’t ever try something like that again, cyar,” he quips with a scowl. “Your eyes already don’t work, and if you lose one of your hands, you’re completely fucked.”

All the levity of the moment vanishes, and it ends with your face pulling into a smile, a soft laugh falling from your parted lips as he watches you, eyes filled with adoration.

[natsukishinomiyaswife]

𝓒𝓪𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓓𝓲𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓷𝓭: 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓐 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰

I originally wrote this for my OC, based on this video my friend Mah (@midnightmah07) sent me! I decided to make it a x Reader, so that everyone can enjoy it (and because I love this fic lol) but if you want to read the original, you can find it here! ♡ Enjoy! ♡

⋆ The Pop Music Club was sitting in their club room, eating snacks as they talked. They had a show coming up in a few weeks, and were debating on what to perform. There were certain songs they would always play, but this time they wanted to do something different, to really make the show stand out. Lilia suggested they try a new genre, while Kalim suggested they incorporate a new instrument. Cater didn’t really have any suggestions, scrolling through Magicam for inspiration. While scrolling he comes across a new post from you, a smile coming to his face as he likes it.

⋆ As he continues scrolling he comes across fan edits, dancing videos, comedy skits, memes. He was about to switch apps when he comes across a post, a girl gushing about how her partner wrote a song for her, as a surprise for her birthday. The post includes a short clip of them singing to her, the girl standing there in shock for a moment before looking like she could cry. In the comments everyone talked about how romantic it was, some saying how they wished they had a partner like that.

⋆ A sudden thought occurs to him, looking up from his phone and turning towards the others as he suggests, “Why don’t we try writing our own songs?” Kalim and Lilia look to each other for a moment before agreeing, the two of them excited at the idea of writing their own song. After eating a few more snacks and talking for a little bit longer, they go their separate ways, each of them needing to have a song written for their next club meeting.

⋆ Cater stretched in his desk chair, sighing. He had been staring at his computer for a few hours now, a blank word document in front of him. He kept thinking and trying yet a song just wouldn’t come to him, getting up from his chair. He grabs his phone and earbuds before moving to lay on his bed, needing a break. He scrolls through Magicam as he listens to music, liking and sharing certain posts. He sees a post from the bakery in the village near Night Raven, announcing new items they would be adding to their menu soon. One of the items is a dessert that seems to be trending right now, everyone talking about how good it is.

⋆ He smiles as his mind immediately goes to you, knowing how much you like sweets. Without thinking he shares the post with you, sending another message right after that asking if you’d like to go with him when the bakery debuts their new desserts. It takes a few minutes before you respond, but your reaction was what he expected, telling him you would love to go with him and how excited you were to try the desserts. Your message had a mix of heart emojis throughout it, something you always did. Their was one particular heart emoji you seemed to use more than the others, Cater putting it next to your name in his phone. He did it because the heart emoji reminded him of you, that’s all. There was no other reason. (At least, that’s what he keeps telling himself)

⋆ It’s a few days later when the bakery debuts their new desserts, Cater waking up early knowing how busy they will be. You were already waiting for him outside campus, standing at the entrance gates. You were dressed more casually than usual, no longer wearing the uniform he was used to. He couldn’t help but stare, thinking how good you looked. You ran over to him as soon as you noticed him, thanking him again for inviting you. Cater wasn’t paying attention as you continued to talk, eyes focused on your mouth. There was just something about that lip balm you wore that he was drawn to, tempting him. It makes him want to…

⋆ He shakes his head, stopping himself from continuing that thought. You made your way to the bakery, talking and laughing as you walked. As you pass by a house Cater catches a glimpse of your reflection in the window, the sight almost making him stop. He never thought about how you held hands whenever you go somewhere, enjoying having you close. But seeing your reflection, your hands linked together as you talked, he couldn’t help but think…

We look like a couple

⋆ It doesn’t help that others would mistake you as such, strangers calling you his partner or his dorm mates telling him to enjoy his “date”. Trey had even complimented his appearance that morning, asking him what he was dressed up for. They’re wrong, Cater thinks. We’re just friends. Yet, the idea of you being “just friends” hurt, Cater choosing not to linger on it.

⋆ There was already a line when you got to the bakery, having to wait around fifteen minutes before you could enter. Cater’s attention was drawn to the dessert that was trending, ordering it to take a picture for his Magicam. You went to order one as well before Cater stopped you, reminding you that you could just eat his. You laughed, saying you forgot and thanking him. Once he got the dessert you went to sit outside, not wanting to stay in with how packed it was.

⋆ It was a nice day out, the table he chose giving you a nice view. Cater took the dessert out of it’s container, setting it up so that it looked good. He used the natural lighting to help take his photo, immediately uploading it to Magicam. When he looked up from his phone he noticed you sitting across from him, eyeing the dessert eagerly. His heart raced as he told you he just needed to take one more photo before you could dig in, focusing on you rather than the dessert as he took it. As soon as he said you could eat it, you started digging in, looking happy due to how good it was.

⋆ You stayed there for a while, Cater scrolling through his phone as you ate, talking and laughing in between. Whenever Cater saw a video or a meme he knew you would like, he would hold his phone out to you, watching as you tried not to choke on the dessert while laughing. Before you went your separate ways Cater gave you a hug, thanking you for coming with him. You hugged him back, telling him that you should be the one thanking him, considering he paid for the dessert. You promise to treat him next time as you wave goodbye, Cater watching you go before heading back to Heartslabyul.

⋆ As soon as he got back Ace was there, a teasing grin on his face as he asked how his “date” went. Cater gave him a look, used to his behavior as he tells him it wasn’t a date. After a moment he goes on, letting him know he had a good time, and that the dessert seems to be worth the hype. He heads to his room, running into Deuce along the way. He too asks how his “date” went, though his question seemed more genuine, Cater not having the heart to correct him. He breathes a sigh of relief once he’s inside, immediately laying in his bed.

⋆ He did his best to relax, mind racing as he pulled up the picture he took of you earlier. It had turned out better than he thought, your eyes lit up as you looked at the dessert on the table. You looked almost like you were glowing with how the sun hit your face, your hands clapped together in excitement. You looked so happy, so cute. He had to resist the urge to make it his phone background, shaking his head. He sat his phone on his chest, holding his arm over his eyes. He just needed to calm down, everything would be alright. You guys were friends, you were only hanging out. You weren’t dating, you weren’t his partner, he wasn’t…

He wasn’t…

“I’m not in love with them” he mutters to himself, though his racing heart wants to prove him wrong.

⋆ It’s in this moment that he realizes what he wants his song to be about, slowly getting up and moving to his desk. He writes what he’s thinking, what he’s feeling, using it as inspiration. After having to edit and rewrite it a few times he was finally happy with it, realizing how late it was when he checked his phone.

⋆ At their next club meeting Cater bursts into the club room, presenting the song he had written. Lilia gave him a knowing look as he read the lyrics, Kalim complimenting him on how good it was. After talking some more and discussing the songs Lilia and Kalim had written, they decided to perform the song Cater wrote, with him singing the lead vocals. As it got closer to their show date they began advertising it, posting on their socials and putting up flyers around campus. You even made a post on your Magicam about it, encouraging anyone who could to attend. You texted Cater the night before the show, telling him how excited you were, and wishing them good luck. He tried not to think about how it made his heart skip a beat.

⋆ The night of their show the Pop Music Club was buzzing with excitement, a fairly large crowd coming to see them. As they went on stage Cater’s eyes were drawn towards the front, right where you stood in the crowd. You waved at him, mouthing good luck as he gave you a small wave back. They did their usual introduction, playing some of the songs they were known for before playing the one Cater wrote near the end. He did his best to focus on different parts of the crowd as he sang, but he couldn’t help how he would always go back to you, locking eyes with you more than once.

You’re always on my mind I think about you all the time Um, no Let’s not talk about it Drama, we can live without it Catch a wave if we’re bored There’s a clock we’ll ignore Find a way around it Hey, I can tell there’s something Even when you say it’s nothing When you’re playing with your hair Like you just don’t care It’s a tell you’re bluffing Now please don’t take this the wrong way I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love Well it’s not a love song, not a love song I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song, not a love song I love the things you do It’s how you do the things you love The way you sing it, Put me through it I guess I always knew it (I always knew) I love the way you get me But correct me If I’m wrong This is not a love song (not a love song) Not a love song (I know it’s not a love song)

Bonus scene:

⋆ After their show the boys headed backstage, ecstatic by how well their performance had gone. Lilia turns to Cater, a knowing smile on his face as he informs him, “You do realize that was a love song you wrote, don’t you Cater?”

Cater stumbles for a moment, laughing awkwardly as he shakes his head. “It totally wasn’t! I don’t know where you got that idea from, Lilia!”

Lilia eyes shine with amusement at his response, asking, “Oh, really? Can I ask what the inspiration was for the song, then? Perhaps, you had someone in mind…?”

Cater was quiet after that, knowing his response wouldn’t help his case. He couldn’t say that he wrote the song thinking of you, after all. ♡

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾! ♡

[dontcallpanic]

Hi there sweetheart! 🩵 as i said on my post, im turning this around

what are some of the things that never fail to make you smile?

and I'll also ask: what are some of the things/people that scream 'love' from miles away for you?

@gege-wondering-around I am so, so sorry this has taken so long – as usual. Life is chaos but I really appreciate the ask! You’re so kind and so lovely and your answer was perfect I hope I can do this justice! Diolch yn fawr iawn and here we go

Family. – One member in particular keeps wandering around singing Life is a Highway very badly and offkey and I just love it! It’s so cosy and fun and I just love it when things are calm enough that people can relax and be themselves. My cat (called Busy) also makes me smile. She’s a floozy cat and loves attention.

Writing – I’m working on something for my absolute best friend which has a bit of a story behind it. It’s a Sterek Au that came about because I went back home. I grew up in among those strange rural small towns where everything is a bit weird and a little left of reality. I was in the local supermarket and for some reason in the back rooms they had this section absolutely chock full of plaid shirts so I snapped a pic and sent it to my friend for fun as a Stiles reference. And from that we just kind of ran with this strange Sterek, small town au where all sorts of strange, odd, supernatural things happened. So, of course I had to write it for her. But I write REALLY slowly. It’s not going to be finished any time soon but it’s 18000 words so far! Anyway, it’s purely for fun and full of joy and bittersweet things and it makes me smile SO much. Have a snippet! He can see it now. He’s going to become a cautionary tale. Parents everywhere will tell their children all about the dangers of running off to find themselves and all because he got lost in the woods and eaten by a bear. My what big teeth you have and all that. Wait – that’s little red riding hood. Maybe he’ll be eaten by wolves, not bears… That would be exactly his luck. Especially when there are famously no wolves in California. What was the moral of that story again? Something about not trusting strangers? Never leave the path? Something else about… not… going… for a walk in the woods… alone? Fuck. Stiles runs an anxious hand down the front of his favourite red hoodie. Double fuck. There was no way he was little red riding hood. The universe wouldn’t be that cruel, right? The colour of his jacket should have no bearing on the likelihood of him being eaten by a wild animal. Absolutely not. None, whatsoever. Nope. Incidentally, has anyone done any research on whether bears are attracted to certain colours more than others?

Adventures – I love exploring and just seeing new places, near or far. It doesn’t really matter where but show me a quiet road surrounded by tall trees and I am just giddy with happiness. I love driving too so that helps!

Music – this is one of the things that I live for. I love how much music can give you, from inspiration, to pure feeling, vibes, joy, drama, beautiful poetry. It’s everything and it’s got everything! Here’s a link to my favourites playlist (that I'm still adding to!) but it’s full of all sorts of everything . Listen at your own risk!

Kindness - I’ll shout out to people on Tumblr too. I love seeing people be themselves and owning their weird, whatever it is! That always makes me smile – especially when something good happens for someone I follow. I loved what you said about kindness too. The words I try to live by are be curious and have compassion. Everyone’s going through something and the world can always use a bit more kindness!

Things that scream love from miles away (loved this question!)

Friends – I have two best friends who are the complete opposite of each other and I love them so much. They keep me going and whatever’s going on, they can always make me smile.

I’m moving away from them both which is breaking my heart a bit but something they both do which, to me, screams love from a distance is they’ll just send me things.

One friend sends memes and funny videos

The other shares her day and sends me pictures of what she’s doing.

I love this so much because its just I saw this and thought of you! It’s quick, it’s sweet, its thoughtful and it just means so much to me that they are going about their day and they take the time to think oh, I thought you’d like this! Now my phone is full of their lives and it makes me so happy.

I try to reciprocate  as much as possible but everyone always says my love language is bread. I’ll often bake bread for my friends to pass on when I see them although I realise that might be harder these days. Posting bread doesn’t seem like the best idea…

I’ll also do a small shout out to my husband here, as we’re talking about things that scream love. We met about 14 years ago when I was 18. I saw him across the room in a crowded bar on my first day of Uni and it was love at first sight. Still can’t explain it to this day. He was just my person.

Thanks so much for the ask! It’s really sweet and I had a lot of fun thinking about this one! It’s always worth spreading a little love and happiness and I hope your day is full of pure joy! You deserve it!

[agaypanic]

Hello! Would you write a (season five Michael Kelso scenario where he and reader broke up on good terms for some reason and they are still friends (but they still love each other) So say the group goes to some event with each other (like a dinner or something for a school event) and there’s live music and like an hour or so after being there Kelso Excuses himself to go the the “restroom” and a few minutes later he’s on stage embarrassing himself singing the readers favorite song to win them back and it’s just super awkward and stuff but he thinks it’s the best way because he’s Kelso 💀 thank you!!

Take a Chance on Me (Michael Kelso X Reader)

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Summary: Senior year had been full of ups and downs for the gang. After having to convince some of your friends, you all go to the last dance of the year. Your ex-boyfriend Michael Kelso has a secret plan to get you back.

***

It was just another day in Eric Forman’s basement. Everyone sat in their unassigned assigned spots watching cartoons, wondering what to do for the weekend.

“We could go to the Hub,” Eric suggested, absentmindedly playing with Donna’s hair.

“Nah, we go there too much,” Hyde said. He tapped a random beat with his foot, trying to think. “We could go to the drive-in.”

“We have no money.” Fez countered. It was true; besides Jackie, the group was pretty broke.

“And all the movies there suck anyway,” Donna added.

“We could go to Spring Fling.” Kelso shrugged like he didn’t care about his own idea.

“Ew, I don’t wanna go to a stupid dance,” Hyde said with a sneer. You lit up, thinking about Kelso’s suggestion.

“You know, I bet it wouldn’t be that bad. It might be fun.” The others didn’t look too convinced. “Come on, guys. Spring Fling is the last event of the school year; we should go!” Jackie gasped, suddenly interested in the conversation. She turned in Hyde’s lap to face him, arms hooking around his neck.

“Oh, please, Steven, let’s go!”

“No, I don’t wanna.”

“Please.”

“Jackie, I don’t wanna go to a stupid dance.” Jackie pouted, staring down at him. After a moment, he broke, letting out a long sigh. “Fine.” She clapped with glee.

“See, guys, if Hyde’s gonna go, then it can’t be that bad.” You said. After a minute of thought, everyone agreed. Jackie jumped from Hyde’s lap, grabbing your and Donna’s wrists.

“Come on! You guys gotta help me pick out what to wear!”

***

After looking through her closet, Jackie decided she didn’t like any of her clothes enough to wear to Spring Fling. So the three of you loaded into your car and went to the mall.

“Oh my gosh, Y/n, you should get this. It’s totally your color.” Jackie said, holding a dress up to your view.

“Jackie, we’re here because you wanted to shop.” 

“I know, but it’s so cute.” She held the dress against your body, and even though you didn’t necessarily need it, you did agree. “Michael would absolutely die.” You immediately pushed the dress away.

“No, he wouldn’t.”

“Yes, he would,” Donna interjected. “The entire ride to and from California, all he did was talk about you.” Now that surprised you.

Before he and Donna ran away to California in the summer, you and Michael Kelso had been dating for almost two years. But you had accidentally scared him off from talks of the future, your future together in particular. It broke your heart when he left without even a note. But miraculously, when he and Donna were brought back by Eric, you two remained good friends.

So the fact that the man who was supposed to love you and then abandoned you apparently only thought about you when he was gone was utterly baffling.

“Well, either way, I don’t care.” You responded. But you did care. And Donna and Jackie knew it too. Jackie held the dress to you again.

“At least try it on, Y/n. You’d look hot.” 

“Fine.” You yanked the hanger out of her hand and stalked off to the fitting rooms. “But I’m not doing it for Kelso!”

***

You didn’t try the dress on for him, but Kelso was definitely part of the reason why you bought it. You and the girls got ready at your house while you waited for the guys to come pick you up. Part of you wanted to just go in your own car and meet them at the dance, but everyone insisted they go together.

A few honks alerted you and the girls that the boys were in the driveway waiting. You all rushed down the stairs and walked out to see Kelso’s van. He rolled down the window, sticking his head out.

“Y/n, you can come sit up front.” Jackie and Donna smirked, pushing you toward the front while they went to sit in the back. Kelso reached over to open the door for you, and you climbed in. Music played as he drove, everyone talking in the back. “You look pretty.” You were taken off guard by how shy he sounded. He glanced at you, borderline staring whenever you were at a stoplight.

“Thanks.” You looked at him, clearing your throat. “You look pretty too.” You wanted to slap yourself. You tried to compliment him back but didn’t know what to say. Before you could correct yourself, he grinned. He grinned the way he did when you complimented him when you were dating, equally shy and prideful from your attention.

“Thanks.”

The gym was filled by the time you got to the school. You were honestly surprised that this many people had come to a school event that wasn’t prom. But it seemed like everyone was having fun, especially with the live music. It seemed to be a group of underclassmen that didn’t have anything better to do.

“When can we leave?” Hyde immediately asked. Jackie slapped his arm, telling him to behave.

“We can’t leave yet hide.” Fez rolled his eyes as if Hyde had forgotten an important part of the night that would be happening at this dance. “We have to stay for when Kelso-”

“Hey, Fez, there’s a snack table. Go nuts.” Kelso interrupted, pushing his friend away. The rest of the group dispersed, leaving you and Kelso to dance, which was really just shifting your weight from foot to foot in time to the music.

“What was Fez talking about?” You asked. Kelso laughed nervously, waving his hand.

“Oh, nothing. We gave him some chocolate before we left, and you know how he gets.” Sensing he didn’t want to talk about it anymore, you nodded and pointed behind him.

“I think I’m gonna get some punch.”

“I’ll go with you.”

Like a shadow, Kelso stayed close to you for the rest of the night. But not in a weird way. In fact, it comforted you that he was near you like he used to be. He only left you to go to the bathroom, so now you waited for him in the crowd of friends and strangers. You were talking to Donna about something when she nudged your shoulder and pointed behind you towards the makeshift stage. You turned around confused but soon became horrified.

Michael Kelso was standing on stage, staring at you while he adjusted the height on the microphone stand, and the band behind him started playing a familiar tune.

“I’d like to dedicate this song to Y/n L/n.” He announced quickly before he ran out of intro music. He then went on to sing Take a Chance on Me from ABBA, smiling dumbly at you the entire time. For some verses, he would do little dances or act out the lyrics. He wasn’t bad, but he wasn’t necessarily good either. Everyone laughed, including the gang, but he didn’t care.

While Michael sang, you were hit with a flood of memories. This song played on the jukebox during your first date at the Hub. He was so nervous, which made you giggly because he had never acted so scared around you. That night, he walked you home and kissed you at the door; the rest was history.

It was a history that you wanted to keep buried. He had left you because he was scared about having a future with you, throwing away the good years between you when he ran to California.

But along with that history was your love for Michael Kelso. And everything was starting to come up to the surface.

Suddenly, he was standing in front of you. The song was over, and the band was now playing something else, distracting everyone around you, so you could only focus on each other.

“I want you back.” The statement hit you like a ton of bricks as if he hadn’t just dedicated a serenation to you of what you considered to be your song. “Please, Y/n. I want another chance.”

“You left me.” You don’t know why you said that. You wanted to say, ‘Yes, Michael Kelso, I’ll give you another chance because I never stopped loving you.’ But you guessed that your brain overrode your heart because it was supposed to know better.

“I know.” He sounded so sad and full of regret. “I freaked out.”

“You ran over 2,000 miles away.”

“I know.” Kelso started to sound defeated, which broke your heart. “I, I was scared. I didn’t think I was ready for anything after graduation. So when you started talking about life after high school, I realized I had no idea what to do.”

“Micah, please tell me there’s a ‘but.’” Calling him by the nickname only you would call him felt so natural, and he almost melted at the name like he used to. But he had to focus.

“But, when I was in California, I would try thinking about what I wanted to do if and when I came back to Point Place. And every time I had an idea, you were there. Every single time.”

You were speechless. In all the years you had known Michael, he was never this articulate or romantically outspoken with his feelings. Based on your expression, he knew you didn’t know what to say but would allow him to keep talking. So he did.

“I’m not going anywhere this time. I swear. I’ll get on my knees and beg you if I have to, Y/n. Please, all I need is one more chance.” He started to get nervous because you were still silent. You just stared at him. “Say something.”

“Okay.” It was quiet, and he shouldn’t have been able to catch it because of how loud and crowded the gym was, but he did. He grinned.

“Okay?” You nodded in confirmation.

“Okay.” You stood on your toes and threw yourself on him, arms around his neck and head buried in his shoulder. On instinct, Kelso wrapped his arms around your waist, slightly lifting you off the ground. You pulled your head up to look at him, noses bumping. “But just one chance.”

“That’s all I need, Baby.” He leaned forward and kissed you while you still dangled in the air. Your friends were probably freaking out at the sight, and other Spring Fling participants probably wished you would move because you were borderline making out on the dance floor. But none of that mattered. In your head, it was just you, Michael Kelso, and a new chance.

[birlwrites]

hi hi 🤡🎶⛔❌👀 <333

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

aghsgkhsjdkf i make myself laugh all the time, but i'm going to supply a few specific things:

the first one is from chapter 16 set those ghosts alight, a couple of lines that always make me giggle:

Roping Snape in on Regulus's plan is going pretty well, all things considered. "Absolutely not," Snape says.

in general, snape in stga makes me laugh - every conversation he has with regulus is like he's actively preparing someone's epitaph

and i think most people follow me here for my hp fic but imo, the actual funniest stuff i've written is for all for the game - i have a booktuber andrew fic and a series of andrew and jean being roommates that very often make me cackle

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

i generally listen to music to match a specific vibe, rather than having playlists for particular wips - recently i haven't been listening to much music while i write because it does often distract me and i need to really focus to get lachrimae right afjslghjkf, but if i were you by nothing but thieves is a go-to whenever i need to write something that feels intense (and i do sometimes just flat-out loop one song for hours if it has the right vibes afjslghsjkdf, that's often the best balance for me between listening to music and not getting distracted by it)

⛔ Do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

oh plenty!! i have a lot of ideas that just kind of go away and become fuel for other ideas. one that actually got pretty far before i stopped working on it has a working title of 'murder husbands: the accidental longfic' - in which regulus and evan murder their fathers in cold blood (with some unknowing help from the order of the phoenix) to become wizengamot lords and cause problems for voldemort and the death eaters

i say it 'got pretty far' but i just mean that it's almost 17k of disjointed scenes lmao, i never figured out where it was going. it's the first fic i ever wrote with heather as a character though! also the first fic i ever wrote with katherine - she and regulus almost get into a duel at evan's father's funeral agshlgjdklf

❌ What’s a trope you will never write?

fan of the show/book/whatever somehow ends up in the universe of the show/book/whatever - i guess that's more of a premise than a trope but it just doesn't hold any appeal for me

ok an actual trope - when 2 siblings are romantically interested in the same person. i can't see myself ever writing that. i don't have like, an articulated *reason* for it - it just doesn't vibe with my brain, i think maybe because as far as romantic drama goes, i prefer when the drama is really centered on whatever's endgame - so love triangles tend to feel kind of aimless to me, and then when there's additional sibling drama wrapped up in it i just don't vibe with it

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

i'm talking about lachrimae a lot rn already but i think it qualifies ajfslhgjksdf - there's a mystery at the center of it, which makes it hard for me to ramble the way i want to without spoiling the surprise, but i will say i'm adding gifted kid burnout angst to it because idk i like to really twist the knife as i'm writing i guess??? regulus wasn't going through enough already???

seriously though i'm super excited for it - chronologically, it's a LOT messier than ttdl, and i'm having a lot of fun with the combinations of flashbacks and visions and memories. putting it together kind of feels like assembling a scrapbook - i have all the excerpts from hydromanipulation written out and ready to go!

<3 <3 <3

send me fic writer emoji asks!

[theeclecticwitchblog240]

I would like to share what I’ve been doing recently with my shadow work which has helped me immensely & I felt compelled to share my thoughts with you all on the topic…if I could…

So let's talk about making a shadow work Playlist!

Why make a shadow work Playlist especially if you are working on shadow work?

My reason is that music tends to bring deep emotions from events out for me. I tend to connect with music a lot more as well. It helps get my thoughts up and active, generates memory lane, and paves the way for me opening up and connecting with myself. Plus it’s the joy of mixing pain with feel good music at the same time. Before I found out about shadow work I used music as my own version of “therapy” and I’d journal my thoughts while jamming out.

So let's say you are one of those types as well, who connects with music on a deep level, perhaps you could give this thought a try and make a Playlist that causes you to think about certain situations or feel through them….

What songs should I put?

I found songs that connected with me through certain aspects. My relationship trauma i chose songs that talked about the heartache I was feeling. I’m very into lyrics more than anything else I mean a great catchy beat is awesome you know…but the lyrics are the soul to the song…without lyrics it’s just rhythm and beats. Well that’s just my opinion.

Another example is using “Love Like You” as a way to connect with my inner child, inner tween, and inner teen, and yes my young adult years too, Because it makes me feel like I am giving those parts love and attention. They are allowed to speak and be heard. I didn’t get to really have a normal childhood experience so this for me has been very difficult but important for my personal growth and development as an individual.

So finding songs that can assist with certain aspects may be great to add to a shadow work Playlist and you can totally add to it as well as delete if it’s become irrelevant or your feelings change. I’ve compiled several playlists to choose from depending on what type of shadow work I want to do. I’m old and still use my mp3 player 😂 but it works great for me. It’s not connected to any computer or phone with interruptions or those pesky ads apps make you listen to nowadays you know.🤷‍♀️😂

Another suggestion is go online and google search different song’s lyrics…ok so like I go to lyricsuniverse.co m and search up an artist I like right, I will then look thru the different albums and songs by that artist and read the lyrics instead of listening to the music aspect….I learned a lot of new songs and relived old memories as well as emotions by doing this method. Some parts were painful and agonizing but others were on the opposite end and were fond memories and emotions I had missed by putting it out of sight out of mind kinda thing you know, but welcomed back like an old lost friend.

So, How should I use this??

Well, Whenever you do shadow work, you could use the Playlist as background music. This could help you focus or you could use a particular song as a prompt and try to describe why you feel these ways and focus on healing through it. This method is of particular my favorite! I say that cause there is a few certain key songs that were played at a very important loved one’s funeral, and until I sat myself down and put this into practice, I couldn’t dare listen to the songs without bawling. When I allowed myself to listen and write out my thoughts and emotions as well as the pain associated with them, I was able to process my pain, forgive myself and find acceptance in their passing. It was a pivotal moment to be able to be somewhere,in public especially, and hear one of those songs come on in the store background…to not burst in tears, to instead push through the pain and turn my head up and look at it as them saying hi, I’m not alone! And smile with bittersweet happiness.

Another option is just letting your mind ramble with a song. Let what truly hurts just fall onto the paper and go for it. Don’t overthink in fact try not to think and just write whatever comes out…I tend to start my entries out as if I was still in school, you know the “Name Date & Subject” layout except instead of using my name, I name my entry instead….”random thoughts” or perhaps “my rant and rave for the day” something simple you know.

I hope you have enjoyed learning about my shadow work Playlist suggestions and tips. Perhaps you feel inspired to get started making some of your own. I felt this was really interesting to share and might help some as well in the process.

Thanks for reading,

BB!

[prismaticstreams]

Grieving and letting go: a 12 step guide

I wanted to put together a list of tools, techniques and resources that have helped me in dealing with grief, losses and break-ups. These tips can apply whether the loss is platonic or romantic.  I hope that you find these ideas helpful in your journey!

1. Books: When I go through a major loss, it helps me a lot to read more about how other people have coped and dealt with serious losses as well. When I go through a friendship fall out, it helps to read books about the specific kind of loss you are going through. For instance, if it’s a romantic loss, there are books all about recovering from heartbreak. If it’s a friendship fall out, there are books specially about dealing with the loss of platonic friends. If it’s a death, there are books primarily about grief from the death of loved ones.

2. Music: Over the last five years I have created Spotify playlists about grief, loss, break ups and so on, and I keep adding to them as I find new songs that are relevant. I find music very cathartic and can really help me get in touch with my emotions, especially when I might be feeling a bit numb and disconnected. Sometimes you might want songs that are all about sadness and grief, while at other times you might want angry or empowering songs. Just embrace it all!

3. Healing techniques: There are a number of healing techniques that help a lot in hard times and when processing difficult emotions, especially if a situation is somewhat traumatic. EFT tapping in particular has helped me greatly. Sometimes I make it up on the spot as I go along, sometimes I write and save my own scripts on my computer to go back to, while at other times I do a web search and look for scripts on a particular topic (and often change it to suit me). You can learn EFT for free here: Tapping 101.

4. Visualisation and inner child work: If a particular loss taps into something deeper from your childhood (e.g. abandonment or abuse from a parent, sibling etc) then inner child work may help you. Some people find it helpful to visualise themselves as a child, and imagine holding and soothing themselves - as a parent or adult would do for any child they loved. For more information and tips, I’d recommend checking out books about inner child work and looking up guided inner child meditations on YouTube.

5. Meditation and singing: These two are wonderful for calming the mind and body, because they activate the vagus nerve in particular. Singing with other people is also known to produce oxytocin and feelings of wellbeing, so if you can sing in a choir or a group, even better! Also there are many different kinds of meditation out there so I’d recommend trying a few types to find which methods suit you best. If you have a hard time focusing, perhaps start with short, guided meditations like the Headspace App.

6. Physical touch: Affection and physical touch from loved ones and friends can help greatly to soothe and regulate the nervous system. If you don’t have a partner, consider hugging friends or family, cuddling a pet, or getting a massage. Some people also enjoy attending platonic cuddle parties or find platonic cuddle buddies online. Certain social groups, especially from more affectionate cultures (like South America), tend to be more affectionate. If all else fails, self-soothing touch can also be quite calming and helpful.

7. Friendships and therapy: Getting support from your friends is crucial when going through a tough time, so reach out to your social support network as much as you can. If you need extra guidance and support that your friends are unable to give, then I would highly recommend seeing a therapist. Just remember that if you’re new to therapy, it can take trying several people before you find one who is a good fit - don’t give up too quickly. 

8. Online groups and forums: If you don’t have a lot of offline friends or you’re isolated for some reason (e.g. due to illness, disability etc). then online groups can be a great resource for extra support and companionship. I find online groups can also help to provide a more objective viewpoint on a difficult situation or relationship conflict, especially if the people don’t really know me and aren’t afraid to be completely honest.

9. Spiritual techniques: This may not apply to everyone, but if you are interested in religion/spirituality then you may find certain spiritual techniques useful for dealing with loss and moving on. Many people find prayer and meditation helpful during tough times, and spiritual community can help deal with painful losses. Some people also find it helpful and healing to use practices like cutting energetic cords/spiritual ties, as a way of letting go of past relationships. For more about this see: How to Cut an Unhealthy Bond with Someone.

10. Symbolic steps, ceremonies and rituals: Some people also find it helpful to engage in some kind of ritual to help them let go on a more physical level. This could include a wide range of things like going to a body of water and throwing stones in, writing a letter to let out all your feelings then burning it in a fire, or breaking a stick in half to symbolise an ending. Judith Orloff writes,

“Have honorable closure. This shamanic technique lets you release a relationship, particularly if you keep thinking about the person or sense that they’re thinking about you. Go out in nature and find a large stick. Look at the stick and declare, “This relationship is over.” Then break the stick in half, leave the pieces on the ground, walk away, and never look back. This finalizes the ceremony of closure.”

11. Journalling: Writing in a journal, whether on paper or typing on the computer, can really help with processing emotions and getting things off your chest. Writing unsent letters to get out all your anger, sadness and feelings of love can also help greatly. Check out these prompts to get you started: A Week’s Worth of Journaling Prompts: The Journey of Grief

12. Self care: This might seem obvious but remember to look after your health as much as possible when going through grief or loss. This includes eating healthy food, getting enough sleep, exercising, and avoiding drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc. If you need extra help with this, find an accountability buddy to keep you on track.

[youtubegreys]

Windows 7 midi monitor

Windows 7 midi monitor install#

Windows 7 midi monitor drivers#

Windows 7 midi monitor Patch#

Windows 7 midi monitor windows 7#

Windows 7 midi monitor drivers#

MIDI drivers have evolved over the years and are now used by millions of Windows 10 users across the planet.Ī particular case concerns Windows 10 Bluetooth midi drivers as these seem to be even more delicate and can easily fail to be recognized by Windows. MIDI drivers were originally made to control keyboards from a computer. MIDI is the technical term for Musical Instrument Digital Interface, and it consists of a device that is able to connect to a multitude of musical devices.

Windows 7 midi monitor install#

it seems the _QLC_ controller device is the wrong one to use in Mixxx (running 2.3.0~beta~git7881-0ubuntu1~2.3~git7881~bionic on Ubuntu 18.04).Home › Software › Drivers › Install MIDI drivers I couldn’t get amidi logging for some reason, neither before or after the module load and it working in kmidimonĪfter running modprobe snd-virmidi, and critically changing the device in Mixxx from _QLC_ to the newly appearing MIDI Throughput Port-0, the data started showing immediately in kmidimon, and in QLC… Seems it was largely a Mixxx one as there was no logging of issues in the Mixxx log (it showed the midi data being sent, and no errors I could find). Until then, I had the _QLC_ controller showing in Mixxx and the MIDI throughput 0 showing in QLC, but the midi events weren’t going anywhere it seemed (kmidimon was only showing subscribes and unsubscribes, and it wasn’t clear if this was a kmidimon issue, a QLC one, a linux kernel/module one or a Mixxx one)… Just updating this because it took me a couple of hours to track down that I needed to run Added a cue list with a sequence with infinite duration per step to the virtual console and connected the ‘Advance cue’ command to the BPM ‘button’ and then everything goes kind of automatic. I haven’t researched the tempo and MTC features, nor the VU metering.Īnyway: this worked. Anyway, this made it easy to get the correct notes for the beat. I named the D3 event BPM and the other one BPM2, both are ‘button’ actions. Midi Monitor said D2 and E2, but the wizard found D3 and E3 as the keys. Using the wizard in the script window (and starting mixxx with a song) I simply extracted the two notes that mixxx is spawning. Then I followed the guidelines given on github for QLC+. The script by Michael can be attached to this controller. Now restarting MIXXX adds the BUS 1 controller as an IAC controller. Here a virtual midi cable can be created in the block IAC Control. Instead of using an additional app like midipipe to provide the link through a virtual midi cable, I used the MIDI studio (audio/midi configuration, Window-menu and then select the midi studio). If can contribute, maybe by writing howto’s or other forms of documentation, please let me know. Anyone who has such a configuration up and running? Any help would be appreciated. Is this maybe because of a bug in the build I’m using? Or isn’t the script (2015_03_01) compatible at this moment? Note that the portname showing in Mixxx is the ‘ output’ port for Midipipe.Īs an alternative I tried MIDI Patchbay 1.0.3 In Midipipe I defined a pipe with just an input and an output.

Windows 7 midi monitor Patch#

To be able to patch through the MIDI, I use Midipipe 1.4.6 and as a monitor for peeking into the MIDI data, I use Midi monitor 1.3.2. I assume this is a JACK feature people are referring to, and as such it is not the way it should work on OS X. I wasn’t able to bring up a “MIDI Through” port in Mixxx, even though I’ve started with the -developer command line option.

A macbook air, running OS X 10.10.4 Yosemite (beta channel).

I’m new to the forum and pretty interested in the midi_for_light script. When it runs it may be time to extend the QLC+ Tutorial under /mcallegari/qlcplus/w … x-via-MIDI to include OS X and Windows.

Windows 7 midi monitor windows 7#

I hope to reproduce this steps under Windows 7 with “rtpMIDI” instead of Apples IAC-Bus 1. In Mixxx under Preferences/Controller IAC-Driver IAC Bus 1 was activated and the Midi for light script was assigned as preset. Yeah, i got the script to work under OS X by placing the script into the system-folder /Applications/Mixxx.app/Contents/Resources/controllersįor the 1st test i disabled the VU-Meter in the script: var enable_vu_meter_global = false // set to false if you not need VU-Meter

[rafescoke]

i’m sooo obsessed with your entire page holy moly. if you’re taking requests can i get kinda an angst one where the reader is with jj and finds out him and kie have been doing stuff behind her back, and the rest of the group knew the whole time? so she ends up getting close to rafe and hanging out with his friends so it eventually ends up with rafe x reader??? sorry that’s so long lol pls never stop writing, i love your fics too much <3

All I Ask ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

#Part 1

#Part 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader x JJ Maybank

Summary: Reader finds herself in the arms of her best friend’s brother after finding her boyfriend cheating on her 

Warnings: Cheating, substance, mentions of sex, jealous Rafe, JJ & Kie being an asshole

A/N: Thank you so much for the amount of love I received from my last two works! It has been so overwhelming and I love each one of you with all my heart <3

p.s, my request box is always open! Send random ideas and I’ll turn them into a fic <33

p.p.s, so sorry if this isn’t my best work :(

“Come on, (Y/N), don’t be a party pooper!”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes as she pulled her best friend aside from all the commotion, “Sarah. I’m serious. I feel like he’s cheating on me.”

“He’s not!” Sarah groaned, and when (Y/N) gave her a look, she sighed. “I’m serious. He loves you too much, okay? Look, tomorrow’s your birthday, right? I’m sure JJ’s just ignoring you as a part of your birthday surprise.”

(Y/N) wanted to believe her so bad, but she couldn’t deny the strong feeling growing inside her. Ever since a month ago, JJ wasn’t there for her like always. When she tried to hold him in the van or at the Chateau, he would flinch and scoot away from her. She didn’t know what to do anymore.

“Look-” Sarah cupped her face, her eyes boring into hers. “I promise that he’s not cheating on you. Can you please let this go? How about you go and find him, have a smoke, and then come back to me with the verdict?”

(Y/N) hummed back in response, thinking about what Sarah had just told her. When she first moved to Obx from the city 4 years ago, she had been spending most of her time with the other kooks. When she bumped onto JJ one particular evening while he was too busy mowing down her lawn, that was when most of her happiest days started. 

(Y/N) made her way towards the far end of the beach where JJ and the other pogues were hanging out, her feet lightly patting against the hot sand. (Y/N) took a deep breath when she saw the love of her life laughing on a log, and quickly walked towards him.

“Hey,” she started, sitting on the empty space beside him. JJ shifted, giving her more space, and muttered a quick ‘hi’ back. He offered her a beer, to which she shook her head to, and he shrugged before downing the whole content.

“You’ve got some beer here,” (Y/N) said, leaning forward to wipe the tiny droplet on his chin. JJ hurtled backwards as if on cue, and quickly wiped the stain with the back of his hand. (Y/N) stared at him, being caught off guard, but decided to not create any drama.

“You really don’t have to do that,” (Y/N) muttered, wrapping her cardigan over her tighter. The cold night air swept over her, causing her hair to fall over her shoulders. She didn’t bother to fix it as she watched JJ scoffed, the fire in front of them reflecting on the surface of his blue eyes.

“Do what? Wipe my mouth? Come on, (Y/N), it’s really not that big of a deal,” JJ sighed. He didn’t even bother to hold her hand, to reassure her that it’s really okay, and instead he continued his conversation with John B about some kind of a movie. She noticed Pope looking at their way, but he quickly turned to look at the waves when she returned his gaze.

“Do you want to smoke?” she tried again, this time with her hands on his lap. He didn’t move, and (Y/N) took this as a good sign, her heart fluttering happily. 

It’s progress.

“You sure?” he asked, fumbling with his back pocket to reach for his extra blunt. When he grasped the rolled up herbs between his fingers, he handed it to her, smiling when she scooted closer. He lighted it for her, watching her took a deep huff before blowing the smoke.

“That’s good?” he asked before taking a blow for himself. He felt his heavy mind getting lighter, the weight he has been holding since forever slowly lifting into the air. He laughed, and turned to look at the state of the girl beside him.

“Thank you, baby,” (Y/N) smiled, this time with her head on his shoulder. She saw Pope looking at them with some kind of a heavy look again, but just like before, he turned away before she could ask him anything. 

“Pope?” 

Pope’s attention from the crashing waves turned completely to (Y/N), his eyes wide and his mind panicking. His eyes glanced to the blonde boy beside her for a second, but it settled back to her. “Yes?”

“You’re okay? You keep looking at me. Is there anything that you want to tell me?”

“Me?” he pointed to his chest, and when he saw the look on JJ’s face, he laughed, making an action of swatting his hands against the air. “Oh no. I was just thinking about something else. I guess I involuntarily looked at you.”

(Y/N) laughed with him, her head still on JJ’s shoulder, her eyes slowly squinting against the glowing fire that seemed to be too bright. She turned to whisper to JJ, “Can we go home?”

“Tonight? But It’s Bonfire night. We can’t leave yet,” he protested, glancing at both of his friends for help. Pope, not wanting to spend anymore time with them anymore, quickly stood up from his seat and walked towards the main space of the party. 

“I’m gonna go with Pope, okay? Find Sarah. Go and talk to her? I’ll call you later,” JJ quickly added, standing up from his seat, stirring (Y/N) from her previous position. She sighed, her head still woozy, but she didn’t want to think about the possibility of him cheating on her.

He wanted her first, it’s just not possible for him to suddenly lose feelings for her. The countless times he would tell her that he loves her, that she’s the only girl he will ever mark as his, and now nothing?

She groaned, kicking the sand, all while the muffled music thrumming against her eardrums. She turned to look at John B, the only guy left with her, and opened her mouth to say something.

“Do you see the problem, John B?” she asked, her voice slow. When he didn’t reply, she sighed again, this time standing up from her seat to return to the ongoing party. “This is exactly the fucking problem.”

She didn’t understand; why is everyone treating her differently? What did she do? She sacrificed almost everything to be apart of their group, including her relationship with her kook friends. At that moment, she longed for her bedroom, where she knew she will be totally safe, all cuddled up with Netflix to enjoy.

“If it isn’t the princess,” a voice said from behind her back, and (Y/N) rolled her eyes before turning to look at the source. The tall figure of Rafe Cameron loomed over her, and (Y/N) tried to block his scent of cigarette and expensive cologne. She never really stopped liking his smell.

The Camerons and her family are business partners, and that was the core reason for her family to move to Obx in the middle of July 4 years ago. Meeting Sarah and her siblings for the first time, she couldn’t deny the strong attraction she felt towards the oldest sibling, but she had thought of it as nothing more than a silly crush and tried to focus more on her relationship with a certain blonde boy living on the other side of the island.

“You can take a picture, it’ll last longer that way,” he smiled, and (Y/N) groaned when she could hear the amused tone lacing in his gruff voice. She made to walk away, but was halted by Rafe’s fingers around her wrist.

“Come on, I was just playing. That’s not the way to treat an old friend,” he laughed, letting go of her. He looked around her, noticing her odd behaviour, and suppressed his smile. “Where’s the boyfriend?”

“I don’t know,” she finally replied, and returned the gesture of looking around him. “Where’s the girlfriend?”

Rafe laughed, throwing his head back as his hair messily slicked to the back. “Girlfriend? I don’t do girlfriends. Come on, (Y/N), you know that.”

“Not a surprise,” she said in a singing tone, giving her attention towards the dancing bodies next to the speaker. “Look, Rafe, just say whatever you want to say to me, okay? I’m tired of trying to figure out what people wanted to say to me.” 

“I just want to make a conversation,” he shrugged, chugging down his beer before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. His actions reminded her of JJ, and she quickly looked away when she felt a pang of hurt across her heart.

“Uh-oh, I know that look,” Rafe said, tugging her chin to force her to look at him. (Y/N) grunted, feeling his cold skin against hers, but she let him stare into her eyes before quickly pulling away. “Yeah. It’s that look you’ll put when you’re worried about something. What’s up?”

“Rafe, it’s really nothing,” she sighed, scooting away from the boy. She looked around again, and her eyes landed on a certain blonde boy, and she could feel her heart soaring up again. Rafe’s eyes followed her gaze, and when he saw JJ, he turned to look away.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

“Yeah, whatever,” Rafe replied, already making his way towards the keg station.  (Y/N) noticed the change in his behaviour, seeing how cold he turned, but decided not to mention it. She was being cold towards him first, so she guessed it was fair for him to be acting that way. 

Rafe didn’t understand how blind she could be. Couldn’t she notice the pattern of the girls he fucked? How they all looked so similar to her? 

He scoffed, sipping from his red cup as he watched her walk towards the boy that stole her from him. Everything was going perfect; they were hanging out almost every day; just her and Rafe, either it was in his swimming pool or (Y/N)’s hot tub. When her father had hired JJ Maybank to mower his lawn, that was when everything went downhill. 

“Cameron,” a voice greeted from beside him, and when he turned to look at the figure, he expressed a sly smirk.

One more person that looked like her.

. . .

JJ’s phone was beside her.

She kept telling herself no, that she should trust him since they are in a relationship, but her brain was yelling for her to go through his phone.

He’s cheating on you.

She groaned, unable to contain herself anymore as she grabbed his phone, looking around briefly before typing his passcode. 

The phone vibrated in her hands as she failed to guess his passcode, and she frowned before the screen. It had been her birthday’s date, so why wouldn’t it open? She tried again with their anniversary date, and again, was met with the same fate.

“What the fuck?” she said to no one in particular, and sighed before trying out random numbers. Lastly, she pressed all 1, not thinking much of it and already accepting her defeat. She exclaimed in happiness when his home screen appeared with his background a picture of a dog.

(Y/N) frowned again, remembering how it used to be a picture of them, but decided to not question it as their picture had been replaced by a dog instead of something else. She went through his Instagram, scroling down the many direct messages, through his Imessages; where he texts the pogues a lot and through his Snapchat, only finding their private pictures in his ‘my eyes only’.

She released the breath she didn’t realise she was holding, shutting the phone off and letting it lay in its previous position. She smiled, secretly cursing at herself for ever doubting JJ. He must’ve been busy with his life, just-

Ding!

Involuntarily, (Y/N) picked up the phone and watched as Kie’s name appeared. She typed in his passcode quickly, trying to see what she needs so that she could try and help her with anything in case if it’s urgent. Her heart stopped for a minute when she saw her text.

Kie: You’re sleeping with her tonight?

Why would she even text him that?

(Y/N) sat up straighter, her fingers gliding across the screen in a swift motion.

wdym?

She watched as the typing signal appeared, biting the insides of her cheeks. She looked at the direction of the toilet again, hearing the blonde boy humming to a Nirvana song. She looked at the screen again.

Kie: You promised me you would be with me tonight

Kie: Just us two

Oh my god.

She could feel the hot tears coming in, but her bathroom door creaked open, so she threw the phone back to its initial position and cleared her throat, looking to the ceiling and randomly muttering words to herself.

“Huh?” JJ asked, looking at the direction she pointed. He saw nothing, and looked back to her. 

“I said white’s not the color anymore. I think I’m changing it to grey. What do you think?” She asked, feeling her throat hurting. She cleared her throat again as JJ stared at the ceiling one more time, his face all scrunched up.

“I think grey’s okay?” He said, but it was more to a question. He took his phone and sat beside her, shielding his screen from her. She watched him from the corners of her eyes, silently interpreting his strange demeanor. 

She cursed when it finally hit her; she hadn’t delete her text to Kie.

She bit her lips, curling her toes and randomly tracing circles on her lap. She couldn’t breathe, she couldn’t see clearly, she couldn’t think.

How could she forgot to delete that one, single text? 

“I have to go,” JJ stood up, slipping his phone into his pocket. (Y/N) looked at him, ready to ask if she could follow, but halted her action when he put a hand up.

“I’m seeing John B. Something about, um, Sarah stuff. Just me and Pope. The boys,” he muttered, clearly trying to tell her that he wouldn’t be bringing her to the Chateau. (Y/N) nodded, feeling her heart sank, because she finally understood everything;

The glances he would give to Kie in the HMS Pogue, the brief moments where he would put his hands around Kie’s waist when he tries to slip in between her and someone, the flirtatious laugh he’ll emit when she makes a joke - it all made sense.

(Y/N) used to think that it was all just friendly behaviour and how he had known her longer hence it must’ve been normal for best friends to do that. One thing that (Y/N) likes about herself is how she’s able to guess things correctly - 

But she had never wanted to be so wrong about something before.

“You’re okay by yourself tonight?” 

“Huh?” She finally looked up to him, seeing his blue eyes staring straight into her boring ones. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay,” he smiled, proceeding towards the open window to exit her bedroom. (Y/N) ‘s father would never give his blessings towards this relationship, so he had to enter and exit his girlfriend’s room through the window. 

He hesitated before reaching the seating girl, placing a soft but immediate kiss on her cheeks. (Y/N) smiled weakly in return, not trusting herself to say anything.

How could he?

Ten minutes after his departure, (Y/N) quickly grabbed her father’s car keys before fleeing after a particular black motorcycle. She didn’t even think about turning the car radio on, and her mind was set on only one thing; JJ and Kie.

When she arrived at the Chateau, her fingers trembling and her hair all over the place from the wind while she was driving down the road, forgetting to close the window, she quickly made her way to their usual hanging out place.

Before she could enter the room, Pope’s voice interrupted her actions.

“(Y/N)? What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked, his eyes widening. He looked at her palm around the doorknob, and let out a nervous laugh. “You’re looking for JJ? He’s not here.”

She gets it now.

“Pope, I know,” was all she said before opening the door. 

She felt her world shattering right after she was greeted with the sight of Kie on JJ’s lap, running her fingers through his blonde locks while she kissed him tenderly like  (Y/N) always did. John B and Sarah were right next to him, cheering him on, but stopped when they finally looked up to the looming figure.

“Oh my god,” Kie exclaimed, pushing herself off JJ and fixing her hair. (Y/N) made a look, disgust filling every inch of her body as she quickly walked away from the scene, not wanting to hear any apologies or explanation.

None of that mattered to her; she just wanted to go home.

“(Y/N)!” she heard him yell, but she exited the Chateau as fast as her feet could take her, not stopping to look at him. She cursed when she couldn’t find the right key to open her door, her fingernails clanking against the metal.

“It was a dare!” JJ said, right after he reached her. He watched as she didn’t pay any attention towards him, still fumbling for her keys. “I swear! The kiss was just a dare!”

“Was the text a dare as well?” she asked, finally putting the right key into the keyhole and stepping into the car. JJ cursed and stepped aside, feeling drained and tired from the screaming.

Of course he didn’t send the ‘wdym’. He never like short forms, only using them when he is in the toilet and typing with his left hand. Why didn’t he realised this sooner?

“I’m sorry,” he said, but before he could say anything else, the girl drove straight towards the exit, away from him. 

The worst part of all wasn’t about not having a chance to explain himself to get out of the mess he made, but it was when he saw the pained look on her face. 

“Fuck!” he yelled, kicking a stone and making his way back towards the Chateau. 

(Y/N) fingers scrolled down the many contacts in her phone as she tried to focus on the road simultaneously, and finally stopping when she reached the letter ‘R’ contacts. 

She tapped on the first name under the R letter, putting the phone call on speaker and placing her phone on her lap. She shuddered, suddenly remembering the way she had found JJ and Kie in, but shook her head when his voice filled the atmosphere.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Rafe.”

-

add yourself to the taglist!

[arcanadreams]

That time you and your demon boyfriend went viral

hi yes hello obey me fandom!! my name is Gabbi and i have never played a single second of the actual game but i have read enough fanon content for the past year to have this idea swimming around in my head and now i am finally letting this accursed thing out of my brain and putting it in yours

also i’m only doing the brothers because any more than that and i’d have an aneurysm probably. oh and shoutout to @obeythebutler and @beels-burger-babe for inspiring me with their works to feel brave enough to write for this fandom

Lucifer:

You and Lucifer go viral on Asmo’s Devilgram story!

You’re in the kitchen helping Asmo with dinner duty and singing along to one of your playlists of human realm music that you like to show him.

Asmo starts filming your cute little dance while you stir the pot on the stove because you are just adorable!

About ten seconds into him filming, Lucifer appears in the doorway with quite the stern look on his face. You know, the one that comes right before a “MAMMOOOOOON” and strikes fear into the heart of all those with functioning eardrums. That one.

He opens his mouth, presumably to tell y’all to shut the fuck up, but then there’s a lull in the music and the eldest can hear your voice ever so slightly above the song’s vocalist and he freezes.

Man stops in his tracks like someone just smacked him in the face with a midair volleyball.

Asmo can be heard stifling a laugh behind his phone.

Lucifer’s face gets so soft and he almost, almost, loosens his metal-rod-through-the-ass posture before you notice him and give a little wave and ask if you and Asmo were being too loud like the considerate darling you are.

Lucifer clears and his throat and says something like, “No, you aren’t. I was just coming to check on how dinner is coming along,” and leaves, after which Asmo immediately presses the post button.

Screenshots of Lucifer’s heart eyes for you go absolutely viral because every demon on Devilgram goes absolutely feral for seeing the eldest demon brother lose his dignified composure. It becomes a meme template. “Get you someone who looks at you like Lucifer looks at MC” and “me at the delivery demon when he shows up with my spicy bat wings” posts become commonplace. (Asmo thinks the memes are totally worth getting strung up with Mammon for laughing at them.)

Mammon:

Much like Lucifer, you and Mammon end up going viral off Asmo’s Devilgram. (Noticing a pattern here?) 

He pulls a silly prank on your asses and honestly I don’t know how you fell for it. But hey, they say “idiots in love” for a reason, so...

You and Asmo are sitting in the common room of the House of Lamentation just chillin. Well, he’s chillin, you’re on the floor studying for an upcoming exam.

The video starts in the middle of a conversation you and the avatar of lust were having.

“No, Asmo,” you say. “Mammon and I don’t use pet names for each other.” Now that’s just a darn lie, and every demon and crow within ten miles of Mammon and you together knows it.

“Really? I find that very hard to believe, MC.~” 

You sigh in response to Asmo’s teasing. “Okay, he has a lot for me but I’m just not much of a pet name person, y’know?” The rest of the exchange goes like this:

“Oh, I totally get it.” *pause* “Hey MC, what do human world bees make again?”

“Honey.”

Cue a sheepish Mammon sticking his head in the doorway at the bluntness of your tone when you answered Asmo.

“Yeah, babe?” he looks like a puppy left on the side of a highway oh my god hUG HIM-

Asmo turns the camera back to his smug ass face and in the background you can be heard tripping on the damn carpet trying to get up and hug your mans. (”MAMMON GET OVER HERE SO I CAN HUG YOU” “W-WHAT? I THOUGHT YA WERE MAD AT ME?!?!?!?!”)

Leviathan:

Streamer Levi? Streamer Levi.

You guys go viral the first time you make an appearance on one of Levi’s weekly (insert cool Devildom streaming service name here) streams. 

It’s completely unintentional. You had been asking him for weeks to play with him on there, but he’s the avatar of envy after all. He doesn’t like sharing his partner, even if it’s with random strangers who have no real access to you.

However, he has his stream on a Thursday instead of a Friday one week, and you come into his room carrying dinner because 1) You didn’t realize he was streaming and 2) No matter what he was doing, the boy needed to eat. It wasn’t unusual for you to bring him dinner, so you had no idea why he was blushing and stammering even more than usual this time in particular. Boy was speaking in beached whale trying to tell you what was wrong.

Then you notice his screen. Oh! “Hi chat!” You wave, setting Levi’s food down on his desk in front of his keyboard. “M-MC!” He full-on whines, slamming a hand over his mouth afterwards when he remembers his viewers could hear that.

Honestly, they’d meme the fuck out of him if it weren’t for the fact that they are FINALLY SEEING HIS HENRY!!! THE MYSTERIOUS MC!!!

Chat is bombarding you with questions while you make Levi eat dinner. And by make him eat dinner, I mean literally feeding this man forkfuls/spoonfuls while he games because you love how flustered he gets when you do that. 

Does it impact his score? Absolutely. Does he care? Not really when you’re pampering him like that.

You start answering chat’s questions about you while he’s chewing so he can’t tell you to stop LMAO-

You’re a natural on stream. The VOD becomes the most popular on Levi’s account in a matter of hours and soon cute highlights compilations of you and him on that stream start making the rounds on Devildom Twitter.

Satan:

There was buildup to Satan going viral, similar to Levi in a way. 

Satan does have a Devilgram, but it’s basically a white woman’s Instagram with added book reviews for variety. Unless you’re a reader his account is pretty boring: candles, books, fireplaces, and cats.

However, after you two started reading together fairly often he began posting pictures of your legs draped over his while you sat together. They’d always be captioned with vague ass pretentious literary criticism. 

This goes on for months, and he gains a lot of (horny) followers after the leg pics start up. He doesn’t really get why but you both joke that it’s because you have some damn nice legs and I mean neither of you are complaining about the new following.

You two go viral when he finally shows your face, entirely by accident.

The post is a video, which is already strange for him and grabs attention. In it, you’re scoffing and reading an excerpt of a book, mocking its understanding of female anatomy.

“I’m quoting here, Satan: ‘her breasts bouncing around like giant pacmen.’ I’M SORRY?? THAT ISN’T HOW BOOBS WORK SIR. WHY ARE MEN ALLOWED TO WRITE?” 

(fun fact that is a very real quote from a very real book I really read last month pls save me)

Originally the camera is focused on your body, with your head out of frame to protect your privacy, but your righteous anger made Satan laugh. Like, a real laugh. The one that makes you and everyone in earshot wonder if he truly was never an angel cause he sure as hell laughs like one but anyway-

When he threw his head back, his DDD angled up just a tad without him noticing, and your face was in view for like .2 seconds. Screenshots of it are making the rounds on Devilgram almost immediately: FINALLY THE LEGS’ OWNER HAS BEEN FOUND.

Satan apologizes profusely but you honestly find it funny and you two opt to just start taking selfies while reading with both of your faces in them from now on. 

Asmodeus:

I’m gonna be real with you: you and Asmo go viral all the time. Pretty much everything Asmo posts can be considered viral because of his social media following and his status as one of the seven avatars of sin.

However, there are some fairly cute highlights to be pointed out among the times you were both featured in a post that blew up.

Your favorite is probably that time Asmo livestreamed on of you guys’ ‘Nail Nites,’ as you call them.

You’re both on the floor, doing your nails and kicking your feet back and forth while talking to chat. A lot of the questions are about your relationship, and there’s a lot of flirting back and forth between the two of you.

A particular clip of the stream does blow the fuck up on Devilgram, though, when someone screen records it and posts it with a bunch of heart emojis edited over it.

“’What colors do you think best describe each other?’ Ooo, that’s a good one, chat!” Asmo claps his hands together excitedly, making sure to be  careful of his nails.

Pretty much everyone expected you to say pink, but you surprised both your boyfriend and your viewers when, after a pensive few moments, you replied with “Hmm...probably yellow or orange.”

“Can I ask why, darling?” Asmo tilts his head in confusion. I mean, yeah, those colors look good on him, but he doesn’t wear them often so he’s wondering about your thought process. 

“Well, in the human world those colors often represent happiness, optimism, and positivity. You’re always the cheerful presence I need in my life when things get hard, so you have the vibe of those colors.”

Asmo proceeds to burst into tears and hug you, messing up both of your nails and prolonging the stream since you both have to start over. But neither of you particularly care. 

Fun fact: Asmo has the clip that demon made of that portion of the stream saved on his DDD and watches it whenever he feels sad.

Beelzebub:

Beel and you probably go the most viral out of everybody. Like this moment is an entire phenomenon across the Devildom internet. 

It’s a video, or well, multiple videos, taken at the end of a Fangol game that Beel’s team had just won. Everyone is cheering and going crazy, yourself included, and you just really wanted to congratulate your boyfriend.

So, like the rational person you are, you elect to climb up onto the railing of the bleachers and wave to get his attention. 

You were absolutely fine up there, and sat all comfortably motioning Beel over to you. He notices, of course, and jogs over, standing right beneath you and looking up. (Back where you were sitting, Mammon is screeching like a hyena in heat and Belphie, who is laying down, has one eye open to glare at him. The youngest knows Beel would never let you hurt yourself; you’re fine.)

A bunch of assorted demons at the game has started filming while you were sat atop the railing since you were rather noticeable. Therefore, there’s a shit ton of different angles of the adorable events that follow:

You slide off the railing, landing right in Beel’s waiting arms bridal style. You’ve got this brilliant smile on your face as you pull his helmet off. None of the DDDs filming can hear it over the crowd noise, but Beel asks you why you just went through all that trouble and you tell him it’s because you wanted to tell him how proud you are.

Soft boy’s chest puffs up and he smiles this big cheesy smile at you reach up to run a hand through his hair. You feel him practically purr at the contact, and with a laugh you pull him in and plant a big ole smooch on him.

The crowd, at least those of them that can see, scream. Everyone is running high on adrenaline and happy emotions; something that cute causes a ruckus!! When you pull away Beel proceeds to put you on his shoulders and you celebrate with him and the rest of his team.

The videos of you two being adorable go completely viral and there are some threads dedicated to stockpiling every single angle taken of the event. Beel is completely oblivious to the attention but you have a lot of them saved on your DDD.

Belphegor:

If you think Belphegor has any sort of social media presence whatsoever then you are sorely mistaken. (Well okay he actually does run some anonymous troll accounts to meme on Lucifer’s posts but that’s neither here nor there-)

Therefore, naturally, you two go viral off of Asmo’s Devilgram. 

Okay so someone in the obey me tag the other say headcanoned that Belphie will go out of his way to nap in ridiculous places and my brain really took that and RAN WITH IT.

So what happens is that Belphie will fall asleep in the fucking weirdest places. I’m talking on top of the fridge, underneath the dinner table, on top of bookshelves...you name it, he has slept there, no matter the effort it takes to get there in the first place. 

And, ever since you two started dating, you would join him. Sometimes it involved putting yourself at risk of great bodily harm, but the little smile he gave when you he saw you fucking scaling the countertop to reach him made it worth it.

So anyway, since Beel adores the both of you to no end, he takes pictures whenever he sees you two napping together, whether or not it is in a crazy place. He sends these to the family group chat because he thinks they’re adorable.

Over a span of weeks to months, Asmo has built up a stock of images of you and Belphie cuddles up in seemingly impossible places. Once he has about ten or so, he posts a compilation of them to his Devilgram with some cheesy ass caption like “The things we do for love <3″.

They become a meme SO QUICKLY. Like UNBELIEVABLY quickly. 

The picture of you and Belphie sleeping on top of a bookshelf, in particular, is a big hit. Memes abound.

“If my girl doesn’t climb up a bookshelf to cuddle my ass, she don’t love me.” “Get yourself a partner who scales bookshelves just to be with your ass.” Etc etc...Belphie doesn’t give a shit but you laugh at a lot of them so he sees that as a good outcome.

[mc-lukanette]

Omg I am loving your dreaded string of fate au this is such an interesting take! As always your writing and ideas absolutely amaze me You are such a wonderful writer! If it isnt too much of a bother could we get some more writing for dsaf? Either way I hope you are staying safe, taking care of yourself, and that overall life is doing you good.

Thanks, everyone! And sure, you can have more!!

—————

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Luka wasn't sure why Marinette had called him over that day. As far as he knew, she was busy with projects, though he wouldn't complain about spending some time with her.

Still, he found himself tensing and steeling himself up as he walked up the stairs to her living room. The hum of her sewing machine could be heard as he got closer, reminding him of clothes, which led to the thought of thread, which then brought his mind to the red string of fate wrapped around her neck. His last venture as Viperion seemed to have improved his sensing, so now he could see someone's red string even if the person on the other end wasn't nearby.

Needless to say, he wasn't looking forward to it with Marinette.

He closed the living room door behind him, then went up the staircase, knocking to let Marinette know he was there. The sound of the sewing machine stopped, and he heard her footsteps come closer followed by the slight creak of the trapdoor.

Marinette's face was revealed to him, offering him a smile, and Luka tried not to stare too much at the red string still tied around her neck. He swallowed, but smiled back at her, which was genuine enough even if he was uncomfortable.

"Come on up," she welcomed, holding the trapdoor up for him. He nodded and walked up the rest of the stairs, hearing the trapdoor close behind him as he took a look around the room. He felt Marinette's eyes on him, but she voiced her thoughts before he could wonder about them.

"You didn't bring your guitar?" she asked.

He glanced at his back, then at her, having no way of telling her the real reason why he'd chosen not to bring it. "Yeah, I didn't. Sorry, did you want me to play for you?"

"Oh! No, it's okay—I mean, of course I love it when you play for me so I always want—but I understand!" She thankfully dropped the subject there, turning away to return to her seat. "You can make yourself at home or help yourself to the fridge downstairs if you want anything!"

"Thanks," he said with a smile, heading over to her chaise lounge and taking a seat on it. Even with Marinette's chair turned away from him while she used her sewing machine, he could still see the red string dangling off the side, though it faded into full transparency before it hit the floor.

In truth, he'd left his guitar behind to force himself to use less music and more words. He didn't want to hide behind it to try and ease his situation or make himself more comfortable with everything. The situation the love of his life - and more importantly, his friend - had gotten into through no fault of her own was horrible, and no matter how uncomfortable he was, he couldn't have been any more uncomfortable than her being strangled by fate itself.

He watched her, waiting for a lull in her work to ask, "Did you need anything?"

"Hm?" She looked over her chair to meet his gaze.

"I'm happy to be here anyway, but I didn't know if you needed me for something," he clarified.

"Oh." She understood. Waving a hand dismissively, she assured, "No! I just invited you here to hang out—" She gestured to her sewing machine, her eyes a bit shifty. "—with me, while I was busy but totally happy and relaxed and everything!"

Her wording was inherently suspicious. His eyes scanned over the room, noting the projects littered about that seemed so plentiful. He supposed he hadn't exactly been subtle in his concern for her, but he wasn't sure of exactly what tipped her off or made her feel like she had to "prove" her happiness to him.

Besides, he knew better, and he knew her. Even with the smile she gave him, her brows were furrowed and twitching, a tiredness to her eyes that definitely didn't show what he would call "happiness."

He gave her a nod anyway, not wanting to call her out when he was still piecing things together himself, and he didn't want to confirm her worries if she was merely suspecting that he felt that way.

He leaned back while she returned to working, his hand on the cushion underneath him as he considered what to say. If Sass was right in his beliefs, then Luka indeed had the power to change Marinette's fate, though there wasn't any specific method of how. He thought back to all of their conversations, wondering what he would've done differently if he'd known beforehand and trying not to get bogged down by "what if"s or blame himself for it.

He stared silently at the back of Marinette's head, remembering the day at the ice rink when he saw the same thing. She'd been running away, or more specifically running towards Adrien after he'd encouraged her to do so. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time, but from what he gathered from interactions he'd either seen or heard about, it hadn't gone anywhere. Maybe it hadn't even gone well at all.

Maybe he'd made a mistake?

Luka's mind grew heavy with the thoughts, his body falling back to lay down on Marinette's chaise. He didn't regret doing what he felt was right, but now he wondered if his wording could've been better.

"You should probably go over and talk to him."

He hadn't exactly been thinking at the time - a lot had happened that day - but he noted that he could've asked her how she felt. He could've questioned her on if she really wanted to go after Adrien. It was possible she'd wanted to go home on the subway with him, but was convinced to chase Adrien when he brought it up. Luka just imagined Marinette seeing Adrien and Kagami together, the red string tightening around her neck and then loosening when she was presented with the prospect of going after him.

He felt like he was the one being strangled, just thinking about it.

"Luka?"

He looked up, surprised, seeing that Marinette had stopped sewing at some point and had come to sit on the chaise lounge with him. She hovered over him, concern written across her features and the red string taunting him with its mere existence. Luka knew by now that she was very worried about him, and trying to wriggle or half-lie out of it wasn't going to convince her. He'd just really thought that she would've been sewing for longer.

He also jolted up into a sitting position upon realizing that he probably looked like he was making himself too comfy on her chaise lounge. She didn't seem to mind at least.

"...Marinette," he said slowly, trying to put his thoughts in order. She leaned closer as a sign that she was giving him her attention, and he continued, "Do you know why I let you go that day?"

She tilted her head and he belatedly caught that he hadn't been specific, still too lost in his own head. He opened his mouth to clarify, but realization struck Marinette before he could speak, her brows raising in recognition.

"Oh!" she gasped. Though the conversation was sudden, she didn't seem to mind rolling with it. "Um, yeah, I wondered about that sometimes. I mean, I knew that you knew that I—but I didn't know that you—but if you didn't back then, I—"

"No, your song was definitely in my head, even back then," he confirmed casually, smiling as he added, "Since the day we met, remember?"

She blushed at the mention of his confession, but nodded. "Y-yeah." Then, seeming to rethink the moment with that information in mind, she asked, "...Why did you let me go then?"

His eyes flickered to the red string, then back up to her face. "I want you to be happy, Marinette, no matter who it's with. I thought that Adrien would do that, but I hope I didn't make you feel like you had to go after him."

She blinked, the thought having seemingly not even occurred to her. She averted her gaze, her eyes darting around at nothing in particular. "Is...is that why you were looking like that?"

He didn't answer, but that was answer enough for her.

"Oh, Luka," she murmured sympathetically. "I—well—" She shifted uncomfortably. "—I shouldn't be talking to you about this. It'd be wrong when my feelings are so messed up. You..."

He shook his head. "You can talk about Adrien if you want. I'd be happy if you relied on me more."

He meant it. Even regardless of his fate sensing, he wanted Marinette to feel comfortable talking to him, even if it was about her love problems. He didn't want their relationship to be changed because of his feelings for her.

"Even more?" She raised a brow, the concept confusing her, but she didn't question him further. She hesitated, rubbing her cheek in thought, then dropped her hands to her lap and twiddled her fingers. "I-I don't know; about Adrien, I mean. I—" She sighed, giving a halfhearted shrug. "—he's not interested in me. He likes Kagami, but the girls kept telling me that I shouldn't give up on him because of how hard I tried." Then, stiffening, she waved her hands and rapidly assured, "N-not anything against your sister, of course! That's just what happened—and—" She huffed in frustration. "—it feels like I hit a wall, and I'm not going anywhere. Adrien doesn't notice me and I can't talk to him and... I'm tired."

Luka nodded silently to let her know that he was both listening and sympathetic towards her plight, also not wanting to interrupt her.

"Of course I tried hard, but Adrien and Kagami seem like they're good for each other and they should be happy together. Just, whenever I think of giving up or not trying, I..." She raised a hand to her neck in a gesture that he immediately understood. "It hurts, and Alya's always trying to get me together with Adrien no matter what I say. Maybe she knows best and maybe she's right, and that's why I always end up in crazy situations with him. Plus, everyone..." She looked away, her voice not having the enthusiasm one would imagine her next words would go with. "...everyone keeps saying we're made for each other."

Luka clutched his leg to ground himself while struggling to keep a straight face. He'd certainly never heard that one before, but it stung like his neck did just thinking about it. His lips pressed together, trying to contain his emotions, but he couldn't help blurting out, "No one's made for anyone."

She blinked at him, shocked, but he didn't take it back or apologize for saying it so suddenly. He recognized the fact that he was talking about destined love being nonexistent when he himself knew that "fate" was very much a real thing, but his actual opinion on the subject hadn't changed. As far as he was concerned, fate's "opinion" was about as valid as anyone else's when it came to someone else's relationship.

"No matter what Alya, or even Rose, say about you and who you love, Marinette, all that matters is you and who you want to play for. You deserve someone who makes you happy." He paused, lamenting the reality that she really hadn't gotten to think about it. "Does Adrien make you happy?"

He saw the string tighten, Marinette opening her mouth to respond before she seemed to stop herself. He felt like apologizing, but knew she wouldn't understand even if he did. She frowned, staring down at her lap and appearing conflicted with herself, so he reached out and carefully hovered his hand over her shoulder in a show of comfort. She glanced at his hand, noticing the gesture, but didn't immediately give him any sort of permission.

Then, to his surprise, she brought her hand up, gently grabbing his wrist and lowering it so his hand was placed perfectly on her shoulder. She didn't even let go, keeping his wrist held like she needed his hand there.

"...Luka," she whispered, her voice shaking, "I—no, you'll laugh, or think I'm crazy."

He squeezed her shoulder, not hesitating to insist, "I won't. I'm here for you, Marinette."

She finally met his gaze, and he saw a vulnerability there that wasn't there before. She was nervous, whether of his potential reaction to whatever she had to say, or something else entirely.

She took a breath, her fingers tightening around his wrist as she composed herself. The silence stretched, though he could tell that she was steeling herself up.

"The—the Adrien pictures," she began, tossing a pointed look to the wall where they were. "I don't remember putting them there."

He kept his expression schooled, not wanting her to overthink his reactions. Careful and quiet, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"I-I mean, obviously I started putting them there, back when I first met him," she admitted, "but I took them down. They'd been down for a while."

Luka could confirm that. He'd been to Marinette's room before when she'd been sending in their Kitty Section audition to Bob Roth, and the pictures weren’t there.

She continued, "I-it hurt when I did it, but I did, and I threw most of them away. But then—when I wake up sometimes, they're back, and I don't remember putting them up. I-I mean, maybe I did but I just don't remember it? I stay up late sometimes and I won't remember falling asleep, so it might be like that, you know? I-I know you're not exactly like me and I'm sure you don't sleepily put pictures on your wall but..."

He smiled as best as he could, even though he was hurting inside. "I know as well as you do that creativity doesn't have a schedule."

She managed a smile in return, but it returned to a frown as she dropped her gaze to her lap. "A-anyway, I can forget things, but it's never been that bad, and sometimes they'll be gone for a while but then they'll be back a few days later. There's just—there's no other explanation, so it has to be me, right? I-I don't know if it's a sign or what, but if it is then I don't know what it's telling me? Because whenever there are a lot of pictures—" She made a vague gesture with a wave of her free hand, cringing as she added, "—something humiliating always happens. That usually gets me to take them down again, but then... well, you know." She rubbed the back of her neck with a hand, blushing in embarrassment. "Sorry, I probably sound crazy. I-I swear, I'm not trying to—"

"I believe you."

Her mouth halted mid-sentence, hanging open as she stared at him.

"I believe you, Marinette," he repeated, giving her shoulder another squeeze. He didn't need any further detail to know what happened, as there was no way Marinette would take down those pictures and then put them back up the next day, or even the day before that. It didn't make any sense, and while he hadn't seen the wisps of fate move things or brush them aside, he had seen them trip Marinette, meaning they had some level of physical control. It explained it all: the convenience of the pictures appearing and disappearing, as well as the amount of them there'd be.

"T-thank you," she murmured, her lips briefly moving to form extra words but nothing coming out. She looked shy, possibly from admitting something she hadn't told anyone before, but she at least wasn't so nervous anymore.

"You don't need to thank me," he assured, "but you're welcome. Just know that you can tell me anything."

She ducked her head, peeking up at him to ask, "How much do you want to know?"

"Whatever you're comfortable sharing with me," he replied.

"Everything?" She'd said it quickly, as if she'd blurted it out, but she didn't panic afterward. She merely looked at him, hope in her eyes.

He nodded without hesitation, wanting her to be certain that he meant it. She searched his gaze for a few more seconds, one last shred of doubt remaining, but he knew he'd convinced her when her body relaxed and she smiled at him with her whole heart. Her grip on his wrist lightened, her hand sliding off and back down to her side. He pulled back as well, his heart a mixture of emotions but mostly just happy to see her happy.

"I..." She turned away, facing her trapdoor. "I'm going to get some snacks first."

He watched as she pushed herself up, then stood as well to follow after her. "Do you want any help carrying them?"

She looked at him, confused. "You don't have to."

Instead of responding with the obvious - that he wanted to - he simply replied, "You're not alone anymore, Marinette."

He didn't need to elaborate for her to understand. He let himself get lost in the warmth of her gaze, hoping that he might see it more one day if he could ever get her string removed, even if her warm gaze would end up being for someone else.

[robininthelabyrinth]

Prompt: Something causes Lan Qiren to just SNAP, go absolutely fucking feral, and run off to become a rogue cultivator.

Beautifully Spent

- Chapter 1 -

aka Five Times Lan Qiren Left The Lan Sect Behind

“It is your duty, Qiren.”

“Is it?” Lan Qiren asked coldly. “I believe you’re thinking of my brother. You might remember him – the sect leader?”

He’d never spoken that coldly to anyone, least of all an honored elder, one of his own teachers, but he had no choice.

Ever since he was young, Lan Qiren wanted to become a traveling musician - to wander the world freely, without the burdens that would fall on his older brother, the prospective sect leader. Even as he got older, he'd never quite let go of that ambition, refining it until it had become not only a dream but a plan.

He would see that plan come to fruition, no matter what it took.

His teacher looked at him helplessly. “What’s gotten into you?” he asked. “You know your brother has chosen seclusion –”

“I know that in the eyes of the sect I have never been a quarter the man he is,” Lan Qiren said quietly. “I know that in each instance that we have argued, you have all taken his side. I know that I was asked, time and time again, to yield – because he is the elder, because he is the heir, because he is the more talented of us two. I have always yielded, because I am a filial son, a good brother, and I love my sect. I have always yielded.”

His teacher cast his eyes down to the ground.

An acknowledgement of guilt.

“I will not yield this time,” Lan Qiren said simply. “This is the rest of my life, honored teacher. This is my entire life. For once, let himbe the one to yield – to do his duty to his sect, as he was always meant to.”

“But –”

“I have always been here for him.” Lan Qiren did not allow him to interrupt. “I have been his scapegoat when things have not gone his way, I have been his pawn in political games, I have even been his punching bag when he needed to vent his irrational anger. Everything he has had the freedom to do, he has done because he has had me here. If I were not here, would he be able to go into seclusion?”

His teacher was silent.

“He would not,” Lan Qiren concluded. “To go into seclusion when you are the only option to lead the sect is to be an unfilial descendant of our ancestors. And so, if I am not here, he would be obligated to live up to his duties.”

“His heart has just been broken. Do you have no empathy for him?”

“As much as I do for the woman who was forced by circumstances to agree to marry him, and no more.”

“Qiren…”

“Think of it as me being dead, honored teacher,” Lan Qiren said, and ignored his teacher’s flinch at such inauspicious words. “Do you need me to remove my forehead ribbon before I go?”

“Qiren! Of course not!”

“Ask my brother,” Lan Qiren said dryly. “He will have the final word, as usual, and he does not like not getting his way.”

He left that day, his head held high.

He did his best not to think of his brother, who had, in his own way, wanted freedom, too.

Lan Qiren travelled, after that. It was just as he’d always planned it: quiet nights along forest paths, visits to small towns in out-of-the-way corners of the world – inquiring and then solving any issues they had that required a cultivator, and playing for them when no such issues remained. He had anticipated hardship, knowing himself to be a rich young master who’d never really faced the world; he hadn’t anticipated kindness: a few married women in one town taking the time to show him how to do laundry, giggling at him all the while, a group of young woodcutters in the next the best way to forage and cook food when one was hungry, a merchant and his wife teaching him how to bargain to avoid getting cheated…in time, through the generosity and enthusiasm of others, he learned all the skills he needed.

He refused payment for night-hunts – amazingly, his sect did not cut him off as he’d almost expected them to, and he was still able to collect his usual allowance – but accepted it for his music, and from his place behind his guqin he watched, quiet and content, as life swirled around him in all its myriad forms.

In between music and night-hunts, he idly taught some skills to the children in the towns he passed through – the vast majority were common people, completely lacking in cultivation skills, but his sect’s rules and the philosophy behind them were applicable in far more situations than that, and basic martial skills in even more. Whenever he stayed somewhere for more than a few days, he added in lessons in basic literacy, mostly because the idea of not having books at hand was abhorrent to him; the parents involved were generally more grateful that he was keeping their children out of trouble than especially interested in what he was teaching them, but it’d never hurt anyone to know a little bit of reading.

When he happened upon a place already governed by another sect, he did not take particular care either to avoid or to approach them; if they happened to meet, and to invite him to stay with them, he would. Lao Nie tracked him down six times for that very purpose, citing increasingly less plausible excuses, before Lan Qiren finally agreed to make the Unclean Realm a regular stop on his travels just to make him stop; in contrast, Cangse Sanren just showed up at the camp he had made for himself one day, her husband as always by her side, and simply refused to leave for the next three months.

He did not visit the Cloud Recesses.

Not when he heard about how his brother had, however reluctantly, come out from seclusion and begun to do the work of sect leader, and do it well, the Lan sect prospering under his leadership as they had always expected to. Not when he got news that his nephew was born; not when he heard that one nephew had become two. Not even when he heard that his brother’s wife had died, though the thought of that miserable woman’s self-inflicted fate had moved him enough to write a letter of condolence to his brother – their first contact in seven years.

Lan Qiren did not expect anything to come of that impulse, though perhaps he should have known better: it wasn’t more than a week later that he received a letter in return, the heavy formal parchment used by the Lan sect as familiar to him as the back of his hand, his brother’s equally formal calligraphy very nearly as familiar.

The words on it weren’t familiar at all.

I have made a terrible mistake, his brother wrote. I need your help.

Lan Qiren was perhaps not especially filial to his sect, having abandoned it as readily as he did – but despite everything, he did love his brother.

He went home.

“Lan Huan, courtesy name Xichen,” his brother said, nodding at the small child, pudgy and fat and adorable, quivering like a pudding even as he tried to force a smile onto his face, clutching onto a baby only a few months old, the little one strangely solemn despite the inexpert manhandling. “Lan Zhan, courtesy name Wangji.”

Lan Qiren was not as shy as he used to be, and he had gotten better at dealing with children. He knelt down until he was level with them, though he did not force himself to adopt any expression that did not come naturally. “Hello,” he said. “I’m your uncle.”

“Hello, uncle,” Lan Xichen said.

Lan Qiren held out a hand and waited, even as his brother took his leave, busier than ever. It took a little while, but Lan Xichen eventually put his own hand in his, and walked with him; after a little while, he even entrusted him with little Lan Wangji, fussing until Lan Qiren had tucked him into the corner of his arm in a manner he found appropriate.

By the time his brother found them again, Lan Xichen was chattering on and on about his xiao lessons, while Lan Qiren nodded along and added his own observations – he was decently skilled at the xiao himself; while it was not his preferred instrument, there were times when it was easier to carry than a guqin, and he had had time, when he was younger, to indulge himself in learning more than one instrument.

When Lan Xichen saw his father, he fell silent at once. He did not hide behind Lan Qiren’s robes, though Lan Qiren half-thought he wanted to – his little hand trembled in Lan Qiren’s palm.

“Would you like to take your brother back?” Lan Qiren asked him. Lan Wangji was a good baby, crying only a few times, each time responding well and easily to the usual things a child his age wanted – milk, a burp, attention. Moreover, Lan Xichen was good with him, thoughtful and careful; Lan Qiren had no concerns entrusting the baby to him, and Lan Xichen brightened a little when he realized that, nodding happily and taking Lan Wangji, pausing only a moment to glance worriedly at his father before scurrying off.

Lan Qiren looked at his brother.

“He’s afraid of me,” his brother said. “You can tell, can’t you?”

A blind man could tell. Lan Qiren said nothing.

“Wangji cries whenever I hold him, too, even though he almost never cries the rest of the time. He’s not even a year old, and he already knows.”

“Knows?”

His brother looked out into the horizon. His hands were behind his back, clasped in a formal pose. “That I’ll ruin them, too.”

Lan Qiren put his own hands behind his back as well. After a few moments, he said, “You care for them both. That’s not nothing.”

Their own father hadn’t managed even that. He had treated Lan Qiren with utter indifference, while treasuring his eldest beyond the point of reason, encouraging him to always think only of himself; the seeds of their estrangement were planted long before either of them knew it, each of them learning different lessons from their father’s mismanagement – Lan Qiren how to be inferior and doubt himself, his brother to be self-absorbed and careless with the feelings of others; Lan Qiren to bend himself to the point of breaking, his brother to refuse to bend at all.

It had served neither of them well.

“I don’t know what love is, except possession,” his brother said. “Xichen torments himself to try to live up to my expectations, and all I’ve managed to teach him, other than fear, is how to say yes to everything just to make people go away. I find myself falling into the habit of thinking of him as an extension of myself, which is still more than I can do with Wangji, who doesn’t even cry like a regular child should…” He paused. “You didn’t cry much as a child either.”

Lan Qiren glanced at his brother, surprised. He hadn’t known his brother had paid enough attention to him back then to even notice.

His brother smiled thinly. “Our family is known for its quiet children, did you know? I hadn’t, but they told me after Wangji was born. Apparently, there’s a few in every generation: a little slow, a little strange, with minds that don’t work quite the same way as the rest of us. The ones that don’t like to look you in the eye – sometimes they learn to speak, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they’re brilliant. As babies, they’re generally a little too quiet. There were three in our father’s generation, but in ours there was only you. And now, there’s Wangji…”

He shook his head.

“I wronged you before, Qiren. I don’t want to do it again – I don’t want to know what sort of father I’d be to a child like you. I’m not willing to risk waiting to find out, either.”

When Lan Qiren left the Cloud Recesses, he took with him a qiankun pouch weighed down with more money than he’d ever had in his life, two children, one smiling happily as the other burbled quietly, and his brother’s trust.

He had no idea what to do with any of it.

[chubbyreaderwriter]

Joke Pt 2

Sirius Black X Chubby/Plus Size Reader

Imagine: Sirius really likes you but his reputation makes you think he’s using you for a joke. He has to prove his feelings for you but it goes horribly wrong.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: none?

Part 1

Masterlist

previously

You looked him in the eyes and you sighed, “I’m sorry, I do forgive you but I don’t think we can be anything more than friends at the moment. I’ll see you around.” You turned around and walked away, wondering if you did the right thing or not. Meanwhile, Sirius was frozen in place, he admit it could’ve gone a lot worse but it wasn’t what he hoped would happen. He was glad that you forgave him but he still had to prove he was serious about you. He wanted to show you that he liked you, in fact, he was probably falling in love with you. But he wasn’t going to give up, he’d get you to fall in love with him by the end of the year...

You stared up at the ceiling of your bed, lying on your back with your hands interlocked over your stomach. It was after hours but still just a Saturday which meant you didn’t have to worry about accidentally sleeping in for class the next morning. You were lying on top of your sheets in your gryffindor-themed pyjamas, thinking about the recent events in your life. The last day or two had been unlike any other. You couldn’t believe that Sirius had humiliated you in such a way. Every time you thought about how everyone pointed and stared and laughed at you, you felt like there was a lump in your throat, feelings of dread bubbling as you realised you would have to see those people again on Monday. You could see now that Sirius might have thought it was a harmless joke, but you were sick of being the butt of the joke all the time, you were sick of being someone people thought it was okay to point and laugh at. You didn’t want to be a laughing stock.

A tap on your shoulder brought you out of your thoughts and you turned your head to see Lily’s familiar red hair falling down her face and into your view. She gave you a sympathetic smile and lightly tapped your side twice with the back of her hand, a silent request for you to move over. You complied and watched as she lay down next to you, mimicking your position, though had her head tilted to face you, “I’m really sorry (Y/N), I know he’s a prat but I thought he would at least consider your feelings. I’ll talk to him if you want? Make sure he stays away from you.” You released a deep sigh and gave Lily a small smile, she was always looking out for you, “That’s okay, you don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine.” Lily’s eyes still held a considerable amount of concern, “Are you s-”

A loud snore interrupted Lily’s next words and the two of you looked over to the bed opposite yours where a fast asleep Molly Prewett lay, open-mouthed and messy ginger locks splayed all over her pillows. You and Lily shared a look before covering your mouths to muffle your laughs as not to wake the other girl. Lily rolled onto her side to give you a quick hug, “I’ll let you go to sleep now, you need to be rested if we’re going to do all our homework tomorrow like you promised.” You mentally groaned, you’d forgotten about that. You had at least six different pieces to complete by Wednesday, but Lily liked to do it all together with you, to make sure it wasn’t late. You gave her a smile and flicked your wand to shut your curtains, muffling the noise of Molly’s snoring to help you sleep. You turned over onto your side and let out a deep breath before closing your eyes and slowly drifting to sleep.

The next day, you’d tried your best not to think about Sirius and you’d been doing well, thanks to Lily and Molly. You had all sat together with a couple other girls in your year at breakfast so your view of the marauders gang was blocked and therefore, you had no reason to think about one of them in particular. As soon as breakfast had finished, you’d been dragged away to the library to uphold your promise. You moaned and complained about all the work you had to do but one stern look from Lily shut you up as she went over the instructions for the potions homework. You hadn’t been given an opportunity to think about anything else other than work when studying with Lily. You and Molly kept trying to make excuses for why you couldn’t do the work today, but Lily reminded you both that you agreed to do this with her. You put your hands together, elbows on the table, and whined, “Come on Lily, we’ve been doing this for 3 hours straight, can we please take a break?” Molly nodded along to your begging, adding, “Yeah, my hands all cramped up from writing so much, I need twenty minutes to get back some motivation.” Lily rolled her eyes, “Fine, 15 minutes, but not a second longer.” You grinned, perking up in your seat, “Yes!”

Amidst your victory, you hadn’t noticed four gryffindor students sneaking their way into the library, desperately avoiding the librarian, and making their way over the table next to your own until they were pushing their chairs in. Their table was coincidentally located behind a large bookshelf so the librarian wouldn’t be able to see the group sitting there. You tensed up and both Molly and Lily shot you worried looks but you shook your head, silently communicating with them to say that you were fine. You heard someone clearing their throat quietly but you didn’t look up, choosing to ignore whoever it was. Lily looked over Molly’s head to see James waving her over to them. She shook her head and crossed her arms, ignoring the defeated look on Potter’s face. She turned her attention back down to the parchment paper in front of her, sorting it all out into the different subjects.

Molly leaned over to whisper in your ear, “Reckon me and you should hex their arses into next week, filthy toads.” You gave her a look of mock disappointment, “That’s not nice, toads are much better company.” Molly snorted and you giggled under your breath. Sirius heard the sound and looked over in your direction, one hand on the back of his chair and on the table to turn his torso around to gaze at you. The sound of your laughter was like music to his ears and he only wished he was the one making you laugh instead. He wished for a lot of things when it came to you actually. He wished he could hold you in his arms, he wished he could kiss you, he wished he could sweep you off your feet, he wished you had the same feelings for him as he did for you. But of course, he couldn’t make those wishes come true and was having to settle for watching you from a distance. Remus, who was sitting next to Sirius, nudged him with his shoulder, “Cut it out, you’ve been staring for ages.” Sirius reluctantly turned back around in his chair, facing James and Peter. He huffed and sulked, looking down at the table as though it was responsible for all of the wrongdoings in his life. James scoffed at his friend’s attitude, “Why are you so hooked up on this girl? You’re Sirius Black, you don’t do relationships.” Sirius only sighed in response to James’ question. It was true, he’d never felt this way about a girl before, it had scared him at first, but every time he saw you, it made him excited and it felt like there were butterflies in his stomach trying to get out. 

James and Remus shared a look with each other, if their friends was acting like this, then they knew it was serious. James pushed Peter onto his feet and told him to distract the librarian and when she saw him, she wasted no time in dragging the plump boy out by his ear, presumably to Dumbledore’s office. Sirius was oblivious as he still hadn’t taken his eyes off of you. You could feel his gaze on you and it was starting to make you feel uncomfortable, but not as much as when you saw James approaching your table. He pulled a chair up between you and Lily, resting his arms on the table, “Good morning ladies, now i believe we have to talk about the elephant in the room.” You tried not to laugh at the bored look on Molly’s face. James was unbothered by the silence and continued, turning to face you. “So, (Y/N), now that Sirius has apologised and all, what do you say you give my boy a chance huh? Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about being with the Sirius Black.” As much as you could appreciate how good of a friend James was being right now, you really wanted to punch him in the face. James flinched back and seemingly lost all his courage when he saw your face twist in anger. “I don’t care if he apologised, he embarrassed me in front of everyone. I was humiliated. How would you feel if everyone was pointing and laughing at you everywhere you went. I couldn’t even go into the common room without people whispering about me. I’m sick of being laughed at, so you go back and tell your friend that if he wants to come talk to me, then do it himself because if i hear his name come out of your mouth again, I’m going to hex you into next week.” 

James slowly nodded his head, choking out, “Message received. I’ll leave you lot to it then.” He was only too eager to head back to the others and gave Sirius a sympathy tap on the shoulder, “Yeah, I wish i could say I helped but that would be a lie, you’re welcome anyway.” Sirius visibly drooped in his chair out of defeat and Remus pulled him onto his feet by the arm, “Come on lads, we should get a move on before she comes back, I don’t feel like having my ear yanked on today.” The trio left but Sirius kept his eyes on you until you were out of sight. James and Remus stood either side of him, James put his hand on Sirius’ shoulder, “Mate, you’ve got to get over her or do something about it. You can’t just be a creep and stare at her.” Remus scoffed, “‘Cause what you do to Lily is completely different.” James went silent so Remus grabbed his friend’s attention, “Why don’t you try getting her something she likes? Think of it like a peace offering before you talk to her again.” Sirius nodded along, “Yeah alright, thanks mate.”

Earlier in the evening, you had been walking back from the Great Hall on your own, but you didn’t quite mind it that much. Sometimes it was nice to have some alone time with your thoughts. It was a bit too cold to walk outside so you headed straight for the common room, sitting on a couch, staring at the fire. You sighed as you checked your watch, deciding to wait until Lily returned from whatever she was doing to go to bed. The portrait opened and you heard soft footsteps. Out of curiousity, you turned your head to look behind you to see Sirius with something in his hand. For a brief second the two of you made eye contact and your eyes widened as you quickly turned back around to pretend like you didn’t see him. When that brilliant plan failed and you heard him walking over to you, you winced and mentally cursed yourself for not going straight upstairs. To your surprise, he didn’t sit down next to you, instead stood by your side, a little far aways as to not be too close.

He was quieter than usual, which made you look up to see his mouth open as though he wanted to say something but he couldn’t get the words out. He looked nervous and almost worried and you couldn’t believe that the man before you was actually Sirius, this was so unlike him. You furrowed your brow in concern, “Are you okay?” The worry on your face was enough to snap him out of it and he gave you a small smile, looking down at the black box he held in his hands. It was square and not overly large but not very small either and neatly tied with a dark red ribbon complete with a bow on top. He fiddled with it as he spoke, “I wanted to apologise once more about.. you know what. It was wrong of me and I hope the two of us can begin to become friends again. This is for you, I wasn’t sure what you’d like but I saw these and thought of you and so..” he paused to catch his breath and you reached your hand out to place over his, giving him a half smile, “Friends?” you said. Sirius nodded in return, handing over the box, “Friends.” Once you held the box in your hands, you started to unwrap the bow on the top of the box. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed how he couldn’t keep still as he anticipated your reaction. Carefully, you pulled the lid off and you let out a small gasp as you looked in the box. Inside were a beautiful pair of earrings that had a gold wire wrapped around a deep red crystal. They seemed to shimmer in the reflection of the fire and you were in awe.

You put them back in the box and turned to face him once more, “I can’t accept these, it’s too much.” Sirius stepped back out of your reach in protest, “You’ve already taken them.” You rolled your eyes, gesturing towards him with the box in your hand, “Stop it, just take them back, it’s too much I mean it.” Once more, he denied your request and firmly told you, “As your friend, I insist you keep them.” You sighed in defeat and slouched down back into your seat, “Oh alright.” Sirius grinned in victory, “I’m glad you like them, so I’ll see you around then, eh (Y/L/N)?” You shook your head but were secretly smiling to yourself, “Sure thing Black.” You heard his footsteps retreating and then ascending up the stairs to the boys dormitories. Now that you were pretty much alone again, you pulled out the earrings once more to admire them, holding them in your hands and you had to urge to bring them up to hold against your chest. You��d never received such a gift before, you loved them. Maybe he really didn’t mean to hurt your feelings?

[fluffyy-dreaming]

I can have some knights headcanons, that their gender neutral s/o is fantasy-type idol?

A/N - I hope I didn’t misunderstand this one! This is a bit ooc so feel free to request again- I apologize! Thank you for requesting once again! I appreciate your support sm !!

Tsukasa Suou

Tsukasa will do as much as he can to support you in your idol career, even using his influence in Knights as well as his family’s to bring light to your idol group

Would genuinely become a fan of your group, buying your merch and attending your live shows constantly

He'll text you about his feelings about your lives extremely quickly!

He finds your voice is greatest when used in symphonic pop style music or at the very least in instances that bring out power in your voice

Tsukasa admires you greatly, even asking you for advice on Knights’ next shows and their overall aesthetic

He may be slightly awkward when asking so, but he may want for you to collaborate with Knights

He’d eventually talk about your unit quite a lot to the other members of Knights and probably will end up gushing about and promoting you on social media

Please show him previews of your next songs or live shows he has brainrot for your idol group now

He’s going to take so much inspiration from you and wants to be as great as your group, and there's a small period of time where it is very evident

Tsukasa will work even harder to become as great as you, and he’ll always stay by your side supporting you no matter what!

Arashi Narukami

A fantasy themed idol? How adorable!

She’s so happy to be dating someone so talented!

The fact that you’re an idol gives her an excuse to bring you out to karaoke

She wouldn’t mind covering one of your songs or doing a duet together!

Would most likely promote you on social media as well, taking pictures with you or showing her collection of merch of your group, more specifically your merch

Arashi's particular favorites are, of course, sweet and cutesy songs paired with frilly or princess-esque clothes and props

She may become slightly envious of how often you wear varieties of brighter and more feminine clothes, at least compared to Knights

“<Y/N>, your recent live show costumes were so cuuute! May you be so kind to help with Knights’ next costumes?”

While she may not be particularly invested in fantasy, your unit made her significantly more invested in various fantasy tropes and tales

Arashi would love to try on some of your unit outfits or at the very leasts design similar or matching ones related to fairy tail couples

She’d love to accept any advice on maintaining hair and skin care or tips on remaining high energy on stage

Whenever she can, she loves to involve herself in your hobbies and interests, and if it involves your idol work, she’ll gladly and naturally become your biggest fan!

Leo Tsukinaga

As soon as Leo attends your live show, his eyes light up from how much inspiration he gets from your live shows

He already enjoys writing songs about you but he feels so exhilarated as he finds even more topics to explore in his songs from yours!

Both the reason listed above and simply the experience of hearing his favorite being in the world sing so passionately motivates him quite a lot

“Will you pleeease show me a preview of your next song? I can’t help but wish to listen to your angelic voice forever!!”

His favorite songs are more grand and over-the-top, the best songs from a fantasy themed unit will truly show the thrill of an adventure in such a world!

If Tsukasa talks “a bit more than usual” about your unit, Leo will most likely only talk about how lovely you are on stage for several days, most likely tiring out Izumi

He can’t help talk about you! It awes him how collected you are on stage

Leo would gladly have your group collaborate or have you help out with song writing

Leo makes a habit of supporting you through surprising you by appearing backstage to encourage you or in the audience

While he’s a songwriter, he’d try his best to come up with set designs or themes, possibly offering you props he designed

He’s so happy to have such a wonderful s/o in his life to positively affect so many aspects of his life

Don’t be scared to come to him for ideas as well!

Ritsu Sakuma

As much as Ritsu loves you, Ritsu isn’t the best at displaying his enthusiasm

He supports, you of course! But he'd often tell you how well you did or summarize his feelings into "you did great once again" as he plays with your hair or snuggles you

One thing you often pick up on and walk in on Ritsu doing is listening to your songs and rewatching your live shows, his favorites being more calm or gothic, and he enjoys seeing you in silkier, flowier, and occasionally frilly dark clothes

It make him feel at peace to listen to you when you’re gone

Ritsu enjoys sharing interests with his s/o, yet understanding the difficulties of being an idol, he‘d make sure to monitor your health and that you’re spending time off

He’d often try to help you backstage and would bring you refreshments or a towel to help you cool down afterwards

Ritsu feels inclined to help you with sewing your outfits, or even adding simple things like laces or making sure to tidy them before you're off to perform at a live show

He does find you to be quite cute in your outfits regardless of if you made them on your own or he helped (he does prefer the latter, though), and will find more opportunities to cuddle with you because of how busy you've been

”<Y/N>, you must have been working hard, haven’t you? It’s time you rest up, come here with me.”

Ritsu enjoys praising you for how hard you work and is sure to acknowledge your hard work

Sometimes he'll take pieces of your costumes and hug them while you're busy as he's extremely clingy and misses you very easily

He'll often ask for you to sing your songs to him as you cuddle and fall asleep

As much as he loves supporting you, don’t forget to make time for him, okay?

Izumi Sena

Similar to Ritsu, he wouldn’t openly admit he adores you as an idol as well

He’d attend your live shows, but be slightly defensive if you bring it up, making up poor excuses as to why he's there

Izumi would moreso show appreciation by giving criticism, though he may accidentally, as per usual, offend you

“Your dance moves are so sloppy! Surely you can do better than that, right?”

God, that outfit looks so childish.. I’ll fix it so you won’t embarrass yourself.”

Despite his busy schedule, he’ll do his best to clear it up to be able to help you with your dance routines and costumes

As much as he denies it, he loves spending anytime with you, and loves being apart of your passions and helping you succeed

He enjoys being depended on!

Even if he calls fantasy themes childish or idiotic, he‘ll still stay up quite a bit to come up with ideas for songs or design props and outfits.

It wouldn’t hurt to take some inspiration from your oh-so-kind boyfriend, right?

Don’t worry he really does want you to succeed and he does think highly of you

Which is why he’s using all of his knowledge from working in Knights to help you

After all, Knights is quite fantasy themed already!

Maybe you’d be able to collaborate sometime?

[btsandvmin]

Vmin song analysis - Winter in August - Part 4

Since this analysis ended up being so long it has been divided in parts. This is part 4. If you haven’t read part 1, 2 or 3 yet I recommend doing so. This is the final part.

This started as a Spring Day analysis, but it has since grown immensely. I actually rather call it a thematic analysis or something, and while Spring Day is still at the core of it all, I go through many songs and details outside of Spring Day connections.

Taehyung obviously loves Spring Day a lot, and Jimin does too. It might seem weird to make a Vmin analysis out of Spring Day, but I just felt there was enough surrounding things to talk about. Even if they might be coincidence I do personally think they fit it very well with the other song theories I have made, and I have even mentioned Spring Day a few times before. As usual I suggest reading my other song analyses before you get into this one. You can find them all in My masterpost

I am going to talk mostly about connections that Taehyung has made and how he seems to use a lot of similar themes and references, but also things possibly connecting Vmin and Spring Day.

Lyrics and theme

Choreo and MV

Taehyung’s (and Jimin’s) love for Spring Day

Connections to Vmin’s songs

Overlapping themes

Other connections to Vmin

Taehyung's songs not being all he wants to say

Taehyung’s mixtape

Summary

In this part I will focus on Taehyung and things he has mentioned in regards to making songs. Mostly I will speculate about the mixtape and then there is a final summary of this series of posts and the things I found the most interesting to keep in mind.

This is the last part and also the shortest one. I’ve had a lot of fun writing this, so before anything I just want to say thank you all for reading, and hope that you found this analysis worth your time.

7 - Taehyung’s songs not being all he wants to say

This isn’t related to Vmin, but I also want to mention how it seems some songs of Taehyung might be a bit held back, or at least that he might not fully be able to express all he wants in them.

The first example is how Namjoon says this about 4 o’clock in his fan café post:

"Through this song, Taehyung may not be able to express all of his emotions, but I hope that we'll be able to express it as much as possible. I hope it is the closest expression of Taehyung's dawn!"

To me this all sounds like an important moment for Taehyung, with emotions he wanted to express. And Namjoon points out Taehyung might not be able to express "all of his emotions" as read in his fan café post. If this was all I might not react because I can understand it might be difficult for someone else to truly understand and fully express something that comes from someone else. For Stigma Namjoon also said it "sounds like Taehyung has his own story". But of course for most of their solo songs on Wings we didn’t get to hear all that much of the meaning behind them.

But somehow there are a few of these expressions and examples where it really seems like Taehyung might be held back somewhat, perhaps in particular when it comes to songwriting.

There is of course the Christmas song, and that is probably the most direct example. Even more so relevant from a Vmin perspective because it also touches on the subject of romantic expressions between Vmin because of the lyrics being “not fit for two men to sing” and being denied for that reason.

Then we also have the way Taehyung spoke about Sweet Night and Inner Child. 

First in this Vlive with Namjoon, where he said he tends to write what he has felt himself when speaking about Inner Child.

In the same clip Taehyung also said it was difficult to get to express the things he wanted. That the staff had a hard time and that he wasn't able to realize what was in his mind. But it’s very difficult to say if this was about sound or lyrics/expression.

It’s really impossible to make a song analysis for Vmin and not reference other analysis of other songs at this point... But I’ve talked about Sweet Night before in Sweet Night - Song analysis and HERE.

But then he later on also confirmed in an interview that Sweet Night in particular was meant for his mixtape, and thus not meant for the drama. Once again it’s a song that starts from Taehyung’s feelings.

We know that Taehyung likes to write things he has felt, and we know he has sometimes seemingly had struggles to express those things. I don’t know if these other examples (except with Happy Christmas) are more about being unable to express it because he doesn’t know how, but it could also be him not being able to express certain things.

Because then there is the "Tone it down" comment he apparently got to hear from Bang PD which Taehyung mentioned in relation to the making of BE when talking about his own mixtape.

Yoongi brings up a valid question, because while we know that Blue & Grey is a song that talks about Tae’s hardships and that BTS in general can bring up “darker” topics. We don’t know if this was a comment on a particular song or if Tae had several and we have no clue to what kind of details they might want Taehyung to tone down. I do know many (not just Vminies) have wondered if it might be LGBT+ related, but again we only have speculations here.

Speaking of LGBT+ I also can’t help but notice that there are 3 possible LGBT+ references in Taehyung’s songs. The first and most obvious being the lyric reference to the movie Moonlight in 4 o’clock, secondly the cover of Confessions of a mask seemingly being used as inspiration for imagery in Singularity, and thirdly the “You make me want to be a better man” line from Snow Flower being a possible reference from the movie As good as it gets. On top of this there is of course Happy Christmas basically being denied because it’s romantic lyrics that isn’t “fit” for Vmin to sing together.

I think that the music Taehyung makes is very important and personal to him, as he has said as much. I think it says very much that 4 o’clock and Happy Christmas involve Jimin to some extent at least and that Taehyung has many times talked about giving Jimin songs. If Taehyung is held back, it’s understandable that he would get frustrated. I think we even have a direct example with how he expressed the problem with his Christmas song live to us all.

What Taehyung gives us is things he wants to talk about and express, which to me is just another example of why looking at Taehyung and what he says and does kind of brings a bit more weight to any shipping or relationship conversation about him. 

Lyrics like “sharing my fragile truth” or “I'll be back to tell another story of mine” to me in combination with the way he emphasis wanting to be honest and write about things he has felt is just another layer to Taehyung’s songs I find interesting.

What all these examples brings to mind to me as a Vminie is the Vmin Unit interview and Taehyung's "As honestly as possible".

For me it feels like Taehyung is telling us his story and his feelings “as well as he can” by expressing things through his songs, but that there could be reasons he isn’t saying everything he wishes he could say and perhaps even that the company might advise him to keep some things a bit more vague.

8. Taehyung’s mixtape

There are a few interesting aspects about Taehyung’s mixtape and what we might get on it and this section will be more speculation and theories about upcoming things.

First of all we know that Taehyung said there is a song that will be very similar to 4 o’clock on his mixtape (he talked about this the same day as Vmin’s unit interview for Friends). Another translation explains it as more of a “continuation” of 4 o’clock, which is definitely interesting if that’s the case.

Then there is just the general fact that Vmin seem very interested in collaborating and show a lot of interest in each other’s music in general. 

We also got Taehyung mention he is writing a song for sleepless nights when he had a conversation with an ARMY on weverse May 4th 2020, meaning after the release of Sweet night but before Blue and Grey.

We did also get a snippet of the song “Sleep” on April 21st 2021 (at 4.24 am) so that could also have been the song he was talking about. Regardless Taehyung is really using this theme a lot.

We also got some interesting things from Taehyung which people wonder if it might have to do with his mixtape and a new song. It started on April 1st when Tae came back to Weverse after a while and, amongst others, commented on this post by an ARMY.

This is a very small detail, but the ARMY mentions Jimin as “a soft sunny spot of a spring day” and Taehyung as “the gentle breeze that brushes against your skin...” and Taehyung’s reply uses spring flowers (cherry blossoms) fluttering in the breeze. To be fair this is a reach, and it wouldn’t be weird if Tae didn’t think about Jimin’s role being in spring at all.

Then he tweeted about a song called Loop (by Peakboy) along with some cherry blossoms and a new expression.

Most interesting here is perhaps the line about “I am starting to feel more comfortable in the darkness.” As we know Taehyung seems to find the night sweet now, and this is another example that might point at it being something that has changed over time.

Then there is the "I flower purple you", which seems to be Taehyung's new name for cherry blossoms (or he just didn't have any better emoji). And if so the possibility of what that love means and how it can connect to spring and possibly Jimin (through his “Not Tata. It’s the face of I purple you” comment).

So we have the purple flower on the cover of Snow Flower and then Tae using Cherry blossoms together with the new tag. I am just saying that if Spring is a possible topic for a song on Taehyung’s album, I will be very curious to see what it says.

We also have Jimin drawing a Cherry blossom tree on his shoes in ITS. If Taehyung has been thinking about adding a song to his mixtape which uses references to spring or even more Cherry blossoms in particular, it’s possible Jimin was perhaps thinking of this song while choosing his motif. But this is definitely a reach and likely has no bigger meaning except that Jimin finds Cherry blossoms pretty.

And just recently at 4 o’clock in the morning on August 27th 2021 we had Jimin post “I miss you every single day” which does match with the lyrics of Spring Day “보고싶다”, though I definitely think this is too common to mean anything.

Still, there are a lot of small things to find, and either I am just finding things because I am looking, or there might be something to it. There are just a lot of matching things at this point, and I don’t know if they all can be random coincidences even though I am sure some of them are.

I don’t know if Taehyung will release his mixtape, or if he does if it will be what he wanted or at least started originally, but I hope he can release and sing the songs he wants to sing. Either way I will look forward to whatever he decided to share and am curious what stories he will sing about next.

9 - Summary

Spring Day was released in February 2017 as an addition to the Wings album on You never walk alone. Meaning it also comes very soon after Lie and Stigma which both have these themes of being in pain and feeling bad about themselves. There are also a lot of songs from Taehyung in particular (but also Jimin) about wanting to be together with someone but either having to wait or being unsure about the future. The time of release is the beginning of 2017, more precisely in February which was also a very good time for Vminies, not the least since we got the Soulmate claim. It was in other words during the Spring Day/Not today era where Vmin first claimed each other as soulmates in public.

If we put together that Taehyung both references the scene in 4 o'clock which Jimin is linked to, and uses scenes from Spring Day for Scenery it's possible Taehyung has done these references because they have personal meaning to him. And it's possible that since one of those references (4 o’clock) might be connected to Jimin that the other one (Spring Day) might be as well. Again, keep in mind the lyrics of Spring Day and in particular how it includes "you're my best friend" and how Taehyung has also used “Are you my best friend?” in the lyrics of Sweet Night which is also romantic.

Now of course this is all under the assumption that Winter Bear and Scenery too could be Vmin songs, but even if they aren’t at the very least it does seem to be examples of Spring Day being very important and inspiring for Taehyung. He references Spring Day directly for his own promotion of both Scenery and Winter Bear and considering the lyrics and themes I do think the songs could have connections through inspiration at least. If you want to read more on why those songs have other connections to Jimin you can also read my posts Vmin - Scenery, Promise and song connections and Vmin - Winter Bear analysis.

What we end up with are these:

Possible similar themes and lyrics between Spring Day and other Taehyung songs.

Possible thematic similarities for Jimin's songs as well.

Jimin and Taehyung both loving Spring Day and creating moments with each other during it.

Hobi referencing Spring Day in reaction to a Vmin moment.

Spring Day possibly being referenced for 4 o’clock release.

Spring Day being directly referenced in relation to Scenery twice.

Spring Day being referenced with the release promo for Winter Bear.

The possible scene between Vmin in the park from 4 o’clock being referenced in Scenery (also the release time of the teaser), meaning in extension Spring Day references to Scenery could have a connection to the same person.

Vmin both having a certain love for the winter season and night which they have used in their songs.

Friends including "Cold winters" as something they have gone through together.

Friends including them saying they want to stay together forever.

An interesting timeline with how Vmin was during Spring Day era and what songs Tae wrote around that time.

Many of the expressions in Taehyung’s songs matching how he talks and thinks about Jimin.

12 out of 13 songs having either the theme of Night/Day or Winter. And 4 out of these songs having confirmed direct links between Vmin.

As usual there are a lot of things in the details that are much more difficult to know if they have meaning or not, but at the very least there are many things that fits with the narrative that Spring Day means a lot to Taehyung and that he could be influenced by the themes and how they also match well with Jimin in particular.

If I would sum it up with Vmin as characters in this ongoing narrative in their songs it would look something like this:

Taehyung's perspective: It's difficult and he wonders what the future holds. He's unsure and doesn't know if he can pull Jimin closer even if he wants to and even if Jimin seems to feel the same it seems like a double edged sword. Being hidden or them not being able to be together as more than friends is something he struggles with. He wants to express himself and he tries through his songs. But even if they have each other now and he seems to gradually get more used to the "Night/Winter" over time, it is a constant struggle. He wishes that he was stronger, but Jmin being there with him helps him.

Jimin's perspective: We don't have as many songs from Jimin, so perhaps he doesn’t have as much of a need to express himself outwards in general. He is better at being ok with what they have, or at least at seeming like it. 'I say that it's all okay. But maybe that's not what I truly think.'. He can "sleep" early on and he smiles even though the smiles aren't always happy, and in contrast Taehyung can't. Basically what Jimin is doing is being better at hiding it. But Jimin also wants Taehyung to be his own light and night. In it all he also promises to stay and that Taehyung is his and expresses how he wants to be together when BTS is over.

I guess you could say that winter has been a hibernation period for their relationship. In particular for Jimin. But now they can both enjoy even this period because unlike earlier they are waiting together, they have reached each other, they can hold hands and give each other warmth when they need it. They know where they stand and have mostly reconciled with the thought of waiting to be together properly. Even if it's always going to be difficult.

I might be taking some of the lyrics a bit too literally. Either way it seems both of them are more ok with the current situation compared to before. To me if there is a Vmin perspective here it seems to slowly change with time in how they express it but that the want and wish to be together has always been there. It also seems possible that finally after all this time and uncertainty some things have become easier, and that there might even be change towards something even better in the future.

I’ve been working on this theory for a long time. Like I said, the original plan was to post on February 13th for the anniversary. But it was a lot bigger and took more time than expected. I also didn’t expect Taehyung to give me new reasons to raise my eyebrows. One being this new song 'Sleep' with it’s lyrics, and the other being the cherry blossoms he posted about. I am very curious to see what we might get for KTH1 when it comes out.

Spring is coming.

(Ok sorry for the joke but I am actually scared if Spring would be coming in regards to Taehyung's song narrative. Way more scary than Winter coming if you ask me.)