#all i need to do is work out cut my hair get a binder and go on t

[titan-god-helios]

alr so i’m bored and feeling very faggoty and trans so y’all are gonna see my transition goals right here rn yessiree

et voila

[suguruilyx]

yuuji x ftm reader Headcannons! (+ megumi)

——————-

Sfw!

-he’ll make you take binder breaks if you haven’t got top surgery!

-If you are feeling insecure about your body, or are being bullied for it, first he’ll beat the shit out of them, then cuddle, and kiss you all over

for example:

—

“are you ok sweetie?” He kissed you all over your face “my sweet boy, are you?” He asked you that every 1 minute , you nodded everytime, not wanting to worry him any further.

“m’ok yuu..just tired” you sniffed up your snot, that was about to run out, he wiped your tears “ok..ok let’s rest up then, ok?” He kissed your forehead, once again, before falling asleep holding you.

—

-if you DID get top surgery, without a doubt, yuuji would kiss your scars when you guys are lying down in bed, or he’ll just simply trace them with his finger, or even draw stars on them ^^

For example:

you giggled as you felt yuujis finger trace your scars, him giving them little kisses “yuuji..” you smiled “hm? What is it?” He asked scooting up to your neck, nesting his head into your neck, as he starting kissing it.

“I was thinking about..mh..g—going on a date” you whimpered, as he suckled at your neck “hm….ok” he continued sucking.

— -He shares all his clothes with you, no questions asked, the idea of you walking around in his clothes makes him so happy :D

—-

nsfw! (Skip if needed)

-he absolutely loves the sounds that come out your mouth, it gets him more aroused, slamming himself into you harder, his thrusting getting faster.

-ok this may sound mean but I don’t find yuuji one to last long, probably only lasts like 2-3 minutes, but he has a bunch of stamina…8-9 rounds at tops.

-if you want, he lets you top sometimes, when you do he becomes all submissive as you ride his cock.

-he’s a superrrr soft dom, but if you are bratty, I don’t think he’ll be as caring.

-probably shares you with megumi

-for his cock….hmmm…I’d say 6-7 inches? Hes cock isn’t that big to him so he tries his best to reach your sweet spot, but since he doesn’t think he’s big enough for you he usually puts you in a full Nelson, he’s more of a girthy guy sooo, his girth is 4 inches

for example:

—-

Such a good boy for me,” he kissed your pussy gently, eyes catching yours making you moan, your back arching. “So handsome,” kiss “so gorgeous” kiss

“yuuji….~hng..” you moan, “you taste so good my love, I can stay like this forever,” he said as he continued to rub his thumb on your clit, “y—yuuj-! Mgh!~” you yelped, you were so close, but yuuji stopped toying with you “uh-uh-uh sorry baby, you can only cum when I say so m’kay?” He cooed, your body shaking, your hair started to stick to your forehead, drool started falling down from your mouth, yuuji almost came, you looked you handsome “ how about this my prince, we can cum together, hm?” you nodded so fast, your cunt getting wetter and wetter at the second, grinding on his leg, he didn’t notice until you started mowing louder “yuuj-“ megumi cut off as he saw you two, “Megs! U-uhm..um.” it was silent for at least 5 minutes, you broke the silence with a loud moan, the both of them were confused until yuuji looked down, you came all over the bed, and on yuujis leg, “hey megs, wanna join?” He grinned, megumi looked shocked for a moment but… “sure, why not.” Megumi shrugs.

“y-y-you two are kidding right?! I can’t fit the both of you at the same time.!” You cried out, megumi rubbing your clit, as he chuckled “you’re shaking honey” he kissed your forehead, “he just came fushi” yuuji replied, you were frozen with shocked, until you felt megumis mouth graze your pussy.

“g—gumi?! What are you doing” you shrieked “what does it look like?” He replied, “gah!~ mgh..!” You cried as yuuji slammed his cock into you, “let’s work together, k megs?” Yuuji said, megumi nodded and started to eat you out, as yuuji thrusted in and out.

“W—wait nu!~ s—sensitive…!” You wailed, grabbing at megumis hair, trying to pull him back from licking your cunt, “hes gettin close megs” yuuji moaned as you tightened around him.

“s—stop gumi!! I-I-it’ll go all over!” You whined, and whined until yuuji slammed into you your mouth open as you let out a silent scream.

you came all over megumis face, and yuujis lap “ff-fuck…[name]…you got so tight I couldn’t pull out” yuuji whimpered, “some of your cum got in my eye” megumi grinned.

megumi licking yuujis cum out of your hole, “baby? You alright?” Yuuji asked as your eyes fluttered, one of your eyes half lidded and the other one fully open, they somehow knocked you into sub-space “honey?” Megs whispered “mmh…m’o-ok, m’…” you slurred and your words sounded more short.

“tired…” you murmured before falling asleep in yuujis arms, “ahh..no fair…” yuuji pouted, megumi looked up st yuuji “wanna fuck him till he wakes up?” Oh boy, once you wake up your tummy’s going to be full of their cum. :(

[missmists]

First bookbinding project a success. I think that my cat approves because he would not stay out of my photos. Five months in the making, but I couldn't be more pleased with the results.

I started with @armoredsuperheavy's amazing fanbinding tutorial to create a typeset of each work in @erisenyo's Burning Bright AU published on Ao3. Then had to reread the works in the new format and edit as I went to make sure everything was formatted correctly, (combined word count somewhere around 1.3 million) that took over a month all by itself.

I picked up a copy of Introduction to Bookbinding & Custom Cases by Tom and Cindy Hollander from my local library, to look at some detailed how to images and get multiple perspectives on construction methods. Excellent book, I do recommend.

My hunt for materials included a trip to Detroit with a side stop at Blick to look at decorative papers in person. Blick and the fine people at Hollander’s ended up having everything I needed to make covers. So between my brother kindly 3d printing me a punch cradle, making a DIY sewing frame of my own invention (courtesy of scrap lumber and a trip to the Lowe's hardware department), and three reams of late night printing, I managed to amass all my supplies.

Folding three reams of paper into signatures (the little bundles you sew together) takes about five days if you don't want to lose your mind or your place, and longer if you discover you need to fix things because that definitely happened. Then you get to unfold them to stab holes in them which is as terrifying at first and therapeutic by the end as it sounds.

Next came weeks of sewing books together, a magical process. I learned three new knots, repeatedly stabbed myself (because all forms of creation forcibly demand blood sacrifice) , and felt like I was roleplaying a monastic librarian from the time of Gutenburg. That's 600 years ago, 24ish generations, over 8million ancestors since then (by geometric progression, which excludes the possibility that any of my peasant ancestry is from small towns which is you know likely but I digress) and here I sat sewing pages together in a basement because story is the most sacred of human arts as it binds communities together and shapes perceptions of the self and our brethren, of outsiders allies and enemies, of the world as we know it and as it may come to be. Did I mention sewing books felt magical.

Then came the glue. So much glue. Multiple types of glue. All sticky. all stuck to me. I smeared glue with my fingers like a child.

At last it was time for the covers. Choosing combinations of the decorative papers and bookcloth and making sure I could get enough out of each material for what I needed. Precise cutting so many thanks to the architecture school professors who showed me how to properly cut chipboard. Then measuring and gluing, and more measuring, and more gluing. At last press a little groove by the spine and repeat eleven times.

Then I get to impress all my people with my latest and possibly coolest maker skill unlock, I am a book binder.

Bottom to top in the stack or left to right at the bottom are: These Things Written  These Things Unsaid with Without Consent These Things Known with A Third Chance (or a First) Oh, The Way Your Makeup Stains My Pillowcase That Love You've Been Looking For  All I Need Is To Be Struck (By Your Electric Love) To Open Every Door to Night, To Meet Each Rising Sun (my favorite) Love Is In the Hair (fanart of this one originally lead me to read the series, thanks @ash-and-starlight) Lessons in Proper Asset Management Tangled Up With You  To Be Named, To Be Known (To Be Loved)

[euphoricimagination]

Part 3: The first selection keeps going on after your match with Barou, its time for the match between Team Z vs Team Y

Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 -> Masterlist

You go back to the dorms quite late, already cleaned and changed. Luckily since the sweatshirts were quite oversized you were able to get away with a normal sports bra instead of the binder, so you felt much more comfortable.

When you enter the dorm you saw them all of them sitting, the futons already open, while they talk about their weapons

"Okay, Isagi-kun is thinking, Chigiri?" Kuon says as he writes in his notebook, you sit down next to Chigiri when he answers

"Don't wanna say" says, hugging his knees in a sad manner

"What the hell? Let's just leave the selfish princess alone and move on" says Raichi before looking at you "You, what's your weapon?"

"Eh…I'll say speed and shooting" you say

"Ok, then I'll write you down Yn-kun; anyway, by thinking on our…"

"Oi" you hear Chigiri whisper "What took you so long? I rolled out your futon"

"I stayed a bit longer in the water, it felt good after today. And thanks"

"Did you have dinner?" Chigiri asks again

"Yeah, i did, i wanted to eat al-"

"Well go with ‘Operation: me next 9’" you hear Kuon say out loud, a plan that focuses on all of you changing formations every 10 minutes.

You look at Chigiri confused, nine? If Iemon was going to play goalie again then it would be dangerous to rotate so he gets his time, so it was understable he wasn't counted, but was Chigiri also not counted in it?

"You alright with that?" You ask the red hair boy

"Yeah, I don't want to be at the front anyways. I rather leave that spot to you"

"Why?"

"You're fast and have a lot of good techniques, besides, I get the feeling that you're not taking this seriously yet" he gives you a small smirk, he was partially right, you couldn't stand out much if you wanted to help the others, no matter how much you want to.

"Don't regret it later though" you say as you get ready to sleep, laying down in the futon

"I don't think i will"

The next few days were full of practice, in which everyone was learning how to work as a team. Even though clearly they didn't think of each other as a real team yet, everyone was learning to suck up their pride every once in a while, all because if you lose, everyone's soccer life is over.

As you finish your dinner you see Isagi sitting alone in one table, clearly thinking hard about something

"Oi" you call him, sitting next to him

"Yn-kun"

"What are you thinking about?"

"Eh? No-nothing"

"C'mon, I can practically see the cogs trying to move in your head" you say, making him frown

"What if…if I don't have what it takes to be a striker?" he asks you, the words of Ego quickly replaying in your head: you need to help them figure it out.

"You do, otherwise you wouldn't be here, don't you think?"

"But I don't have a weapon of my own like you do, or like Bachira, or anyone" he says looking down

"You remember the pass that you gave me in that match? Which by the way, thanks for that"

"I do, what about it though?" he asks confused

"You said that it was unconscious, you just felt that i could make that goal at that time. You sensed that it was a perfect timing and a perfect position, not everyone can do that, you know?"

"But how is that going to help me? I didn't even meant to happen"

"That's what you need to figure it out by yourself" you say standing up, going to use the point that you had to take a steak out of the machine

"Steak?!" Says Isagi, his mouth watering. From the corner of your eye you can see Kunigami coming to the table too

"Goal Bonus" you say as you cut a piece for yourself and try it "Isagi, humans can work their unconscious habits to make them conscious. Hey Kunigami"

"Hey Yn-kun, Isagi-kun" says the orange hair as he sits down in front of you, eyeing your steak. Isagi was looking at you still confused "Chigiri was looking for you Yn"

"Okay, I'll go to see him then" you cut the steak in half, moving it to the middle of the two before standing up "here, eat it"

"Eh?! But it's your reward!" Exclaims Isagi as Kunigami also looks at you incredulous

"I wanted to try it, but I'm not a big fan of meat. I rather you two eat it than throwing it away" you say as you start to walk away

"Yn-kun!" Isagi calls you, making you turn around "Why do you play soccer? You're so fast and your shots are really powerful, you have things I don't, so why do you play?"

"Easy, it's fun to challenge myself" you shrugged, waving at them before leaving. It was a true and simple answer, but it was hopefully enough to make him notice that challenging his abilities could be fun; after all, if you could play soccer against these boys while being a girl, he can become aware of his true weapon.

+++

Soon enough it's time for the next match, Team Y versus Team Z.

"Just like us, it's game over for then if they lose" you say adjusting your clothes

"The one to watch out for is the number nine, Hibiki Okawa" says Kuon as you all gather around forming a circle "All we can do is bring out what we practice. We will win even if it kills us, Team Z!!"

"Yeah!"

The first ten minutes belonged to Bachira, however he's unable to do anything, making it time for Kunigami to try to score. Somehow Team Y is able to stop Kunigami not once, but twice and are able to counterattack thanks to their number 7, gaining a goal as well.

You're in the halftime, as usual some of the team is fighting about something dumb like they usually do, something about Chigiri questioning if the plan will really work like that; however, nothing everyone decided to keep the plan as it is otherwise everything will fall apart

"I was just saying…" Chigiri mumbles

"I kind of agree with you" you mumble back to Chigiri "but it's too late to do something now"

"Yeah, I get that"

After that you all go back to the match, and while Team Y is trying to guard the ball by keep passing to each other. As they were passing to each other you decided to just try to gain some control so the rest could at least gain some confidence, so you lunged forward with a higher speed that you haven't shown in any other match. You were able to intercept the ball, but since the other player was near you, you had to flick the ball to the other side as you quickly changed direction, confusing Team Y.

Luckily, you had shown your team some of these plays while training, not at the exact same speed or precision, but enough for them to react in time. That's when you saw Gagamaru, running parallel to where you are, so you pass it to him slightly too far so his weapon could be useful and almost gaining a goal.

"That was amazing Yn!" Bachira comes to you and gives a high five, as he prepares to do the corner shot "wasn't that a bit long though? You never made that mistake before"

"I'm not perfect, Bachira, besides Gagamaru is like a spring, he could get that" you say as Bachira laughs, if he only knew that it was part of your job to make everyone else shine…

You go to gather around with both teams in front of the goal for the corner kick when you notice Isagi was thinking about something, probably their number 7, Niko, who seems to be the one making the big plays. Isagi wasn't going to be useful here if he hesitated, so you did what you thought was best

"Isagi, trust yourself!" you tell him at the same time Bachira kicks, making him nod as he runs away from the group and towards Niko.

Their goalie was able to hit the ball away just in time, sending it towards Niko, however Isagi is able to get in the way and trap the ball. He effectively runs towards the goal again, shooting for a goal when one member of Team Y intercepts him, almost making it go out if it wasn't for Gagamaru, who miraculously hits the ball right on the edge of the court and makes a goal, ending up with Gagamaru hitting the post.

"Damn, that was cool" you mutter to yourself, impressed at the athletic skill that was just displayed.

The minutes keep passing, neither team being able to score a goal, making a tie until the last minute, when all of team Y start a counterattack, everyone running towards our goal. And since our team put too many players on attack, the formation on defense is way too weak. No matter how fast you can run, you were on the other side of the court, so there was no way you could properly be able to reach your own goal on time to stop the ball. Team Y is able to pass everyone in your team, now Niko being face to face to Iemon, a true one to one between them; however, at the last second he changes to a pass to Okawa, a pass that nobody was able to read…except for Idaho.

Just when you thought everything was over for you and your team, Isagi is able to catch the ball right before Okawa can touch it. He has started to read the plays of other players and predict where the ball was going to end up. You instinctively start running to the other side, towards the goal of Team Y, you see the ball reaching you soon after by Isagi's pass, so you jump to trap it right before the other team could even reach you. You were able to pass them for a few meters, but since they were down to do everything to try to stop you, you had no other option than to pass it to Kunigami. Kunigami is also able to pass away some other players; however, he's also forced to pass it to Bachira, who dribbles past more players before passing the ball again. At first you thought it was a low pass for Gagamaru, who still tries to reach the ball by jumping towards it, but instead it goes directly to Isagi. You were still running towards the goal just in case something happens, so you were able to see Isagi's form and eyes, almost being able to see a big aura around him as he shoots, making the goal at the last second, Team Z winning 2 - 1.

You see some of the team hug and congratulate Isagi as the speakers officially announce your team victory. You were breathing hard as you high five Kunigami.

"Hey, Yn, good pass, that was an amazing run" Kunigami says to you

"Thanks, I wished I could have done more though"

"Same here, but we did the best we could"

You high five Bachira in the same manner, however this passes his arms around your shoulders

"That was a great trap, Yn-kun!" He says ruffling your hair, a habit he developed ever since you two became close, since you were shorter than him

"Thanks, your dribbling was awesome too, it definitely comes natural to you" you say as you go back to the lockers.

Everyone was hyped up after winning, the lockers becoming a small celebratory place. You were taking your vest off when you noticed a small piece of paper in your bag, a rushed "Ego-san is waiting for you" written on it with a key for the stairs, clearly by Anri considering how well hidden it was. As the excitement calmed down, the team decided to go to take a bath, everyone starting to leave at the same time; you had no option but to follow them for a while, slowly trying to stay behind them without being noticed.

"Yn?" Chigiri calls you as he turns around, so you pretend to look for something in your bag "you coming?"

"Shit, i forgot my towel in the lockers" you say trying to not freak out "go ahead, I'll join later"

"...okay, don't take too long" says Chigiri, looking at you with a confused frown, you could just hope that he wasn't suspecting much.

You pretend to walk towards the lockers as you make sure that Chigiri had enter to the bathroom, soon changing directions to the door that had a 'staff only' written on it, you used the key and find the same stairs Anri had guided you the first time, so you follow them until you arrived to Ego's apartment, knocking as you enter.

"Yn-chan, come in" the man greets you, you bow to Anri as you sit down in front of him "Well done today winning"

"Thanks sir, what did you need me for?"

"I wanted to know if you noticed the same thing I saw"

"The last point by Isagi-kun?" Ego nods, as his grin get wider and wider, looking kind of creepy "I did, he was clearly only thinking of scoring, he also seemed to understand more about his instincts now"

"I'm guessing you gave him the hint?"

"I just tried to give him another perspective, he used to think that that pass was nothing special, I told him that it was. Maybe playing with Niko helped him too"

"Still, well done for that. You also helped Gagamaru show his talent, was it on purpose?"

"I did send it a little long, yes" you answer

"Well, good job on that too" he says, uncharacteristically positive. He then interlocks his fingers, looking at you with a more serious expression than before "However, I hope you remember that you can't shine too brightly, if I didn't know better I would think that you were trying to score yourself"

"I…you don't have to worry, sir" you gulped

"Okay, you can leave now" you stand up, going to the door

"Sir" you call him right before leaving "I have to ask you to stop calling me here after a match, I'll run out of excuses soon"

You leave before hearing his answer, going down the stairs and locking up again. You went to the bathroom area and noticed that luckily it was empty, so you quickly took a shower and changed before going back to the dorms.

"CHEERS!" you hear as you step in, some tables arranged in the middle of the room with a mix of foods on them, including two steaks that you assume were exchange for goal points

"There you are Yn!" Says Bachira coming to hug you, you notice that Chigiri was looking at you, he probably noticed how long it took you to come back here “We’re celebrating! Come eat!”

“Eh? I didn’t brought my food though, sorry”

“It’s okay, we have plenty” Kuon says as he pass you some chopsticks, some of the others were fighting about the steak “If we need more food we’ll send you for yours”

“Oka-”

“Yn-kun, say ahhhhh” Bachira says as his hand reaches out to you, offering you a dumpling. You laugh at him with a raised eyebrow, but still follow his instructions and open your mouth

“I can’t believe how fast your reflexes are Yn” Kunigami starts saying, looking at you both weird “you not only intercept them multiple times today, but you also reacted just on time when Isagi catch the ball and send it to you”

“You also send me a good pass, thanks” adds Gagamaru

“Yn-kun, that trap of the ball at the last minute was amazing too, how you were able to pass between so many players” says Isagi

“Well, that one was mainly because you catch it before the other team, I just ran and hoped you passed it to me” you add quite embarrassed at the amount of compliments they were giving you, you definitely weren't used to that

“Still, without that i don't know if we could have counterattack”

“Thanks, Isagi, you were definitely able to read that play though, well done” you say trying to change the subject, which worked well considering how now everyone was praising Isagi and his ability to ‘smell the goal’. You ate as you watch them talk about the match, Bachira trying to give food to Isagi as well, as you keep thinking; it felt nice playing such a high stake match; it felt nice being the receiver of so many compliments about how good you were, specially considering you were always told that you were too hard to play against and that it wasn’t fun anymore when you tried to play with the girls soccer team at your school; it felt good being recognized by people who were also passionate about the sport, but you couldn’t take it too personal. This wasn’t the reason you were here, you had to help them shine, not shine yourself, but it feels like your own ego was starting to appear.

You stand up and go to sit next to Chigiri, who was alone against a wall, to get away from the loud ones for a while

"You sure took your sweet time coming here" he says looking at the chaos in front

"The water felt nice" you answer back

"I can't blame you, the match was intense" he looks at you and pats your head "you did amazing today"

"Thanks" you say not looking at him, worried that you would blush more than you already were. You're supposed to be a dude, get your act together "I wanted to score once though"

"I bet, everyone here wants to. I will say you were a major part on the two goals though"

"What about you, Chigiri, don't you want to score too?" You ask him, bringing out his potential was part of your job, but you actually cared about him too

"I…don't want to talk about that" he says, looking away

"C'mon, aren't we friends? I won't judge you" you say, making him look at you indecisive

"...fine, but let's go somewhere else" he says standing up, everyone else seems to be getting ready to sleep, arranging their futons accordingly. You two went to the media room, in where you could watch the replays of the matches, and sat in front of the TV, you following him behind. You turn the TV on, the match bringing some light into the room.

"Do you really want to know?" He asks you, focusing on his face on the screen

"Yeah, I can't help you otherwise"

"Why would you want to help me?" He raises his eyebrow, looking at you

"You're my friend, I want you to enjoy this too" he sighs, almost grinning at you

"A year ago I tore my ACL in my right knee, and if i damage it again, i won't be able to play ever again" he looks at the floor "I was fast, faster than you even, but now…now I'm scared to get injured again"

"Then why did you even come here? You knew what you were getting into, right?" You ask, you can see some hurt in his eyes, however, he just chuckles

"You're straightforward, huh? Yes, I knew, I came here to give up my dream. You might be a huge help to do that, same as Isagi after that goal of his"

"Don't say that, don't make ME the reason you want to give up. Tell me, do you really want to give up? Do you like soccer?"

"I do, but there's no point in m-"

"Then keep trying, don't do something you might regret later" you grab him by his shoulders, by the corner of your eyes you can see the door opening slowly, but you decided to ignore it "if you are going to stop playing because of an injury, then at least stop when you get injured again, not just because you're afraid"

"You don't understand Yn, don't get cocky with me" he says angry

"No, i don't understand why you want to give up without even trying again! What? You think you're the only player that has to go through things? The only one that gets injured? No, you aren't, but the others aren't cowards that stop doing something they love just because they're scared" you say angry as well, standing up and leaving the room

Sure, you may have exaggerated a little, but in the heat of the moment all just came out, after all he clearly likes the sport to come to this place in the first place. You close the door behind you, noticing Isagi standing there, hesitating whether entering or not

"Go in" you say simply

"But you and Chigiri…"

"You can talk to him if you're worried" you say passing him "well played today Isagi, your spatial awareness is developing nicely"

"My what..?" You hear him ask, however you were already leaving; maybe you shouldn't have told Isagi so directly, but the sudden weight of the fight was starting to appear in your shoulders, tired of so many boys without proper thinking cells in their bodies. You would think about that tomorrow.

[salty-croissants]

m a y b e a bullfrog (or ray I don’t mind) with a FtM partner ? :3

Thank you for the request !

I gotta say I was a bit nervous about this one , this is the first ever FtM reader I’ve ever written … I really hope I got it right :,I

Details : use of FtM reader ( he/him pronouns are used ) ;

established relationships ;

no warnings needed 

Bullfrog 💚

Okay , so three words : supportive frog boyfriend .

Bullfrog is the biggest sweetheart and he is going to support any decision you make regarding your identity . 

He is going to love you no matter what , nothing is ever going to change that ❤️

If your hair ever gets too long for your comfort , Bullfrog will be more than happy to help you with it since I think he’d be pretty good at those aesthetic related things …

Plus it’s just very relaxing to feel his gentle touch on your head as he takes care of you …

< Thanks sweetie, I really appreciate it ~

 I would’ve cut it myself , but you remember how it went last time , haha … > 

 < No need to thank me mon amour : you can always count on me . >

He definitely takes your preferences with pronouns and names very seriously , and if someone were to make you uncomfortable by not respecting them or saying something bad to you in general Bullfrog will definitely react accordingly : he may not be in favor of vengeance , but he won’t allow anyone to make his beloved upset , and he can be very … 

Persuasive . 

< Alright sir … I need you to listen to me , because I will not repeat myself .

Unless you start treating my y/n with the respect he deserves I’m afraid I can’t let you be near him . > 

< Hah , and why would I be scared of … of …

Is that a … knife … ? > 

< Oui , and I assure you it would be quite a shame to … go down this path . 

I hope I’ve made myself clear . > 

< Haha , yep ! Yeah , we’re clear , crystal clear !! > 

Rayman 🧡

Rayman is just so proud of you for finding an identity that fits with who you want to be , and much like Bullfrog he is incredibly supportive of any choice you make .

I also believe that since he spent his whole life being cast out for who he was and what he looked like , he would definitely shower you with love and compliments to let you know that he accepts and loves the person that you’ve become . 

< y/n … ? Have I told you how beautiful you are today ? > 

< Hehe , you did , three times I think … but I won’t mind if you tell me again ~ > 

< I just can’t help it , darling … when I look at you , I just can’t believe I got so lucky , y’know ? You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me … I really mean that . > 

< Aw Ray … I love you so much ~ > 

If you need to use binders ? Rayman is going to make sure that you have the most comfortable ones he can find , discussing all the details with you to get something that works the best for you : 

he just can’t stand the idea of his y/n hurting in any way , shape or form , and he wants to do his best to actively help you somehow . 

< You okay honey ? Does it feel alright ? > 

< Mhm , yeah ! Thanks again for helping me pick it Ray , this one fits so well ! > 

Despite his very friendly and cheerful demeanor around other people , if somebody ever were to say something mean spirited about you … 

Boy , he’s going to be pissed .

< Uh , excuse me … ? What was that about my partner ? 

How about you leave him the hell alone ? > 

Rayman is definitely very protective of you , and he’ll do anything to keep you safe , even if it means risking to damage his reputation as Eden’s voice …

You’re far more important to him than any of those things after all .

Ramon 🖤

Remember what I said about Rayman being protective of you ? 

Well , now this man will go absolutely feral if anyone dares to even remotely touch you or say something bad to you .

You’re precious to him beyond any measure or logic , and this means that Ramon will often be quite careless about himself if it means keeping you safe …

< Ram , what was that ?? Those guys could’ve killed you ! > 

< It’s fine … I’m … okay . > 

< No you aren’t , you’re bleeding . 

I can handle those kinds of comments , I’ve dealt with them before , you know that … 

I don’t want you to throw yourself at dangerous situations for me , isn’t that what you always tell me not to do ? > 

< That’s different … hiss - > 

< Careful , don’t move around too much … that’s a deep cut , we need to patch it up right away . > 

< … thanks y/n … sorry about that . I just - when I heard them call you those terrible names , I couldn’t just … >

< It’s okay sweetie , just take it easy … I’ll take care of you , now and always . > 

Sometimes you like to surprise Ramon by wearing his clothes ( even though they’re often a bit small ) , especially his coat , and the way he smiles while staring at you never fails to make your heart skip a beat …

You really are the only reason for happiness he has left . 

< Heh … what are you doing ? > 

< Well it was getting a bit cold , and your coat was right there , soo … I thought I’d try it on for a little while ~

I can take it off if you want though - > 

< No no , you can keep it … looks good on you , love ~ > 

Overall , Ramon will do all he can to make you see how much he cares about you and that he really can’t live without you in his life :

expect lots of physical affection , which also includes gentle caresses and kisses on your scars ( only if you’re okay with it of course ) … anything he can do to make you feel appreciated ? He’ll do it .

< God , you’re so pretty , y/n … I wish we could stay like this forever … > 

[cliffbar-booth]

could you do a like Ken x ftm reader where the person playing with reader in the real world is trans and so Barbie-to-ken reader is having a very confusing and hard time and it’s like semi angst semi fluff cause Ken tries to understand and validate reader’s identity even tho ken is also confused cause he’s himbo but he’s a sweetie

((Maybe they try cutting readers hair and try getting readers feet to be flat like the kens ect?))

Of course! I'm super happy i actually get requests ESPECIALLY FOR KEN!1!1!1 TAGHJEEIFN

Tysm!!

Sorry if it isn't as good as you hoped, i was in immense pain while writing this 😭😭

Come On Eileen

inspiration:

warnings: cursing, slight angst, FLUFF, a teensy bit of transphobia venting

Ken stood at the front area of his newfound barbie friend's dreamhouse. Her house was different than other barbies', he'd come to notice. As he waited patiently outside for y/n barbie to come out, he thought of what to say, just so they could hang out. Y'know, since he considered them girlfriend-boyfriend.

Finally, she came out. She was gorgeous. He could've had hearts in his eyes. He probably did.

"Y/N Barbie, you're like super pretty tonight" he grinned.

Y/N grimaced a little. She appreciated the compliment but it just didn't fit. It felt out of place.

Ken grew nervous. All he thought he lived for was to make Y/N feel great. Did he do something wrong? Did he offend her? Oh dear god.

"Y/N Barbie.. What's up?"

As she led him inside her dreamhouse she explained everything. From how she wished she was like the Kens to how she hated how she looked. He was confused.

"What do you mean you hate being Barbie? You're Barbie! You're gorgeous, perfect, and my girlfriend! What's not to love?"

"Yes, but Ken, it's not because of that. It's something harder to explain.. but it's just a weird feeling. It feels almost necessary"

"But you're my girlfriend"

She sighed.

"I like like you, yes, but I don't want to be your girlfriend, Ken"

"You don't like me anymore?!" He looked petrified and heartbroken.

"No, Ken. Just listen; I still want to be with you, but I don't to be your GIRL-friend"

He frowned, thinking.

"So.. would that make us boyfriend-boyfriend?"

Y/N nodded, smiling a little now at how innocent he was.

"Yes, Ken."

"And I would refer to you as Y/N Ken?"

Y/N nodded again, smiling a little more.

"And... you'd have to have shorter hair"

"What? I- oh, yeah, yes I would"

In the blink of an eye, Ken already had scissors in his hair. Small, bright pink scissors not even made for hair. He flushed and smiled warmly, flattered by Ken's need to please. As the two head to Y/N's bathroom, he sat on the sink as Ken *tried* to work his magic, snipping off lots and lots of hair. It'd been a whopping 15 minutes before Ken pulled away, shouting triumphantly.

Y/N looked in the mirror, euphoria washing over him completely. His hair was perfectly cut short. Somehow. It looked great.

One thing was missing, however. Y/N was not flat chested. Or at least flatter chested. Ken seemed to notice, thinking again.

"should we cut those off?"

Y/N was taken aback completely.

"should we what?"

"cut them off, you know.. with like a knife.. or scissors?" He waved the scissors around with his finger.

"no no- I-" there was a tight fit cropped tank top that looked a lot like a binder. That could work. For now.

"what about that?"

"how would I cut your boobies off with a shirt??" Ken asked, extremely confused. Y/N tried to bite back a smile.

"No, Ken, I mean I could put that on"

"Oh, yeah no I knew that"

He put it on, the shirt compressing the chest just enough to be as flat as Ken. Y/N ran his fingers over his chest, feeling better than before. He looked in the mirror where he was supposed to do makeup, seeing himself in the mirror with short hair and a flat chest. Tears formed in his eyes.

Ken rushed to his side, worried.

"Did I mess your hair up? Does the thingy hurt? Did i say something bad?"

"No Ken.. I'm crying because I'm happy.. I really appreciate what you did tonight"

Ken relaxed, sighing in relief.

"Thank god."

He paused.

"Does that mean I can sleep over?"

Y/N Ken laughed softly, smiling and nodding.

credits: gif is credited, divider by pixel journal on tumblr, song by nouvelle vague, movie by greta gerwig, ken ryan gosling, idea from anon

tags:

[kpopfanfictrash]

Not Another Holiday Romance (Teaser)

Posting Date: Saturday, December 24th at 6:00 PM EST

Part of: the Snow Falls Collaboration with @underthejoon and @suga-kookiemonster

Genre: Director!Y/N, Town Historian!Namjoon, One Night Stand!AU

Author's Note: This story will be told in alternating viewpoints between Y/N and Namjoon.

Synopsis: You, a perpetually alone (and utterly cynical) movie director, are sent to the town of Snow Falls, Middle-of-Nowhere for your latest film assignment. Stuck in holiday hell until the new year, you’re determined to get in and get out with minimal damage to your Grinch reputation. That is, until a ridiculously gorgeous (and young?!) town historian is assigned to help with your film. Suddenly, you find yourself the heroine of one of those corny romances you direct – and are discovering they might not be so corny after all.

Estimated WC (Total): 30K

Rating: 18+

Preview WC: 2,021

“But I don’t care what they think,” insists Matt, stepping closer. “I’ve spent my entire life hearing about what I should and shouldn’t do and right now, I don’t care about any of it. I care about you. On Easter,” he adds, blonde hair shining underneath the bright lights.

Bunny – because yes, the character’s real name is Bunny – smiles up at Matt, blinking away tears. Except – hang on. No. Bunny is actually crying, which isn’t in the script.

Exhaling loudly, you push yourself to stand. “CUT!” you call, ignoring the groans from the crew. “Amber, the script says, ‘eyes glistening,’ not full-on waterfalls. Matt’s telling you he wants you, not going off to war. Let’s do it again!”

Dropping her dewy expression, Amber Carmichael (the actress cast as Bunny) turns, squinting against the lights. “You sure?” she calls, raising a hand to her brow. “I thought it added something to the moment! You know, like catharsis.”

“The only thing it added,” grumbles Matt – both the name of the actor and character, “was confusion.”

Ignoring him, Amber flips long, dark hair over one shoulder. “Alright,” she says, unconcerned. “Let’s go again!”

Trying not to sigh, you sit down in your chair. Hiding laughter, your assistant director, Abby, ducks behind her green binder.

“This is gold,” she murmurs as the crew resets. “If this movie weren’t already terrible, Amber’s acting would get it there.”

“And why does that make you cheerful?” you ask. “I’m the director and you’re the assistant director. Our names are tied to this.”

Shrugging, Abby flips a few pages. “Hey, I enjoy my job. We’re making content for people who just want to relax after dinner. An important job which keeps 74.6% of bored housewives from killing their husbands. It’s true – look it up.”

You, of course, do not bother to look it up because Abby is known for making up statistics to suit her purpose. Most are rooted in a semblance of truth though, and you know that people watch Mallhark – your employer – for a reason. Basic escapism if nothing else.

You just aren’t sure an Easter romcom was what they had in mind.

Matt and Amber are currently acting before a greenscreen, the rolling green hills to be added in later. Abby might see this as glass half-full but from where you’re sitting, things look pretty dismal. The main character of your movie is named Bunny, for crying out loud.

Once upon a time, when you were first promoted to director and tasked by Mallhark to make the holidays magical, you took great pride in your work. You stayed up until morning making edits, pouring over screen tests, and searching for locations but lately, you can barely drag yourself to set. Lately, everything has felt stale, and you aren’t sure how to recapture the magic for yourself, let alone someone else.

Pulling your lower lip between teeth, you shove this aside to concentrate on the moment. Magic or not, you need to finish this film today. Your flight out of here is tonight and Mallhark doesn’t take kindly to schedule delays.

“All set?” you yell, waiting for the crew to respond. Once they do, you nod. “Okay. Three… two… one…” You signal to start, settling back in your seat.

Brian, your main camera operator, zooms in to frame the shot. A second operator, Siying, works a hand-held for close-ups. Everyone on set feeds off one another – one of the few things you still appreciate about movie making. Even the cheesiest, cheapest films necessitate a tremendous crew.

Amber and Matt start their scene from the top, with Amber perched on a rock to stare at the (fake) sunset.

“BUNNY!”

Matt runs into frame, startling Bunny into falling sideways, nearly into his lap. The two confess, laying their insecurities out between them. Like a grocery list, Bunny rattles off her fear of commitment, of abandonment and Matt wholeheartedly accepts her as her leading man.

Watching this, you feel a slight twinge in your chest. It’d be nice if real life could be that simple. In your experience though, men tend to run the moment flaws are unearthed.

“I care about you. On Easter,” Matt blurts, ending his monologue.

Bunny stares up at him, starry-eyed. You have to hand it to Matt – as a Mallhark veteran, he really knows his stuff. Cheating his angles, he gives the camera crew the shot they need while continuing to gaze into Bunny’s eyes.

Amber isn’t quite as good, staring back with her lips parted. Maybe it wouldn’t seem so provocative if she hadn’t just come from amateur porn. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but the angles and facial expressions are wildly different here on Mallhark.

Abby must be thinking the same since you catch her scribbling a note in her binder. Possibly edit out porn sigh during ending?

“Oh, Matt,” Bunny says. “I love you.”

“And I love you, Bunny.” Matt gathers her to him, and you close your eyes to brace yourself for the next bit of dialogue. “I’m hop-lessly in love with you.”

The two of them laugh, only sounding slightly strained, which is the best you can hope for. Matt presses his lips to Bunny’s, and you wait an appropriate time before you yell cut.

“That’s it!” you call, standing from your chair. “Thanks, folks!”

Amber and Matt break apart, the crew loudly applauding the successful take. Sagging in your seat, you hear Abby close her binder with a snap.

“So,” she declares. “That was fun.”

Rather than respond, you lower your head and start to rub your temples.

Abby makes a tsking noise. “You’re becoming cynical, Y/N. How can you not love this channel? Come on, think about it – the meet cutes! The banter! The romance! The bunnies!”

“I’m allergic to rabbits,” you mutter.

“Huh.” Abby tilts her head. “Well, bad luck getting assigned to the Easter movie, then.”

“And besides,” you exhale, looking up. “Let’s call a spade a spade, Abby. We’re not solving world hunger. These movies are thinly veiled Christian propaganda that’s being spoon-fed to the viewer. I’m surprised we don’t do blatant product placement, too. Really lean into the consumerist angle.”

“Damn.” Abby snorts. “Who spit in your peppermint mocha this morning?”

“And that’s another thing,” you gripe, jiggling your empty cup. “This mocha was terrible! I should be at least able to taste coffee, right?”

“Depends. Most people who order peppermint mochas just want the chocolate.”

“Ugh. I’m sorry,” you sigh, knowing you’re being unfair. “I’m just in a crappy mood today.”

“You’ve been in a crappy mood for a week,” Abby says, standing from her chair. Stretching both arms overhead, she leans side to side. “Don’t shoot the messenger, but as your best friend I feel obligated to let you know.”

Stomach sinking, you follow her lead and stand. Abby is right. You’ve been generally terrible to be around, and it isn’t her fault. Trailing her throughout the set, you wave goodbye to the crew on your way to the door.

Normally, you’d stay and help clean, but time is of the essence if you want to make your flight. Mallhark, in true capitalist fashion, has scheduled your films back-to-back. You’re even missing the wrap party, which tends to be a trainwreck but in the fun kind of way.

“I know,” you sigh, pushing open a door. “The worst part is I don’t have any right to be a grump. I mean, I have a good job. I’m directing, which is what I want to do. I have a nice place to live. I have food on the table, I have friends –”

“Friend,” Abby corrects, then waves a hand. “Continue.”

Your glare at her is half hearted because once again, she’s correct. “Anyways,” you say, pushing through a second set of doors. “I have everything I need, so I don’t know why I’m in such a funk.”

“Hm,” Abby says in a tone which says incoming monologue.

Stopping at your trailer, you turn around to face her. “Come on,” you say, gesturing with one hand. “Out with it.”

Abby innocently blinks. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Tell me the thing you want to say.”

“It’s just.” She shrugs. “It’s basic science.”

You stare at her for a moment. “Okay, I’ll bite. How is this science?”

“95% of people aren’t happy with what they have.”

“Is that so?”

“Yep.” Abby nods, dark hair flying. “Okay, so I may have made up that number, but it sounds right, doesn’t it? What I mean is – it’s all Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Sure, all your physical and safety needs are met but what about the rest? Are you satisfied and proud of your work? Does having only one friend” – Abby gives you a long look – “fulfill your quota on love and belonging?”

Whatever retort you had dies in your throat, unable to suitably respond. Abby has a point. True, you have it better than some, but it doesn’t mean things in your life are that great. Especially given the email you received last week.

Exhaling slowly, you stare at a point above Abby’s head. “I got the casting list for our next movie,” you mutter.

“O-kay.” She frowns. “Not sure how this ties into our conversation, but okay.”

Dropping your gaze, you look at her. “Nico was cast as the male lead.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“Fuck.”

“Uh-huh.”

Abby falls silent, clearly struggling to come up with a positive response. You should tell her there isn’t one – you’ve been sitting with this for over a week and have nothing.

Nico Taylor, aka The Ex. Also known as Mallhark’s leading man/heartthrob from many a 00’s movie. He had a brief action career before stepping from the spotlight to ‘sort things out,’ or attend serious therapy to undo the effects of childhood stardom. Now, he’s reemerged on the Mallhark scene.

You met him last fall, had a whirlwind romance where you experienced love for the first time and then, come January 1st, you found yourself dumped. It was brutal, fast, and made all the worse by the fact that you both work for Mallhark.

Thus far, you’ve been able to avoid working with Nico, but it seems your good luck has run out. Typically, directors are involved with casting decisions. Your next film though, is a Christmas movie being shot on location. That means permits, logistics and specific timelines. Because of this, your film schedule changed abruptly and overlapped with your current film. Casting was delegated and now, look where you are.

On the one hand, it’s a sign of Mallhark’s faith in the script to assign such a big star. On the other hand, you’ll be trapped in a remote location with your ex-boyfriend for a month.

Abby slowly shakes her head, her mouth a round o. “Well.” She pauses. “Shit, Y/N. I don’t even know what to say. Let’s go and get drunk at the airport?”

You can’t help but laugh; it’s such an Abby response but for once, you agree. “I mean, yeah. Let’s do it,” you say, pulling open your door. “I’ll grab my bags and meet you out front? We can call an Uber.”

Abby nods, waving goodbye as she heads for her trailer. You’re halfway inside before realizing something and poking your head back out.

“Abby?” you call.

She stops, jogging in place as she turns around. “Yeah?”

“Where are we headed?”

A delighted grin spreads across Abby’s face, which should be your first warning. Stomach sinking, you deduce it’s somewhere suitably cheesy.

“Snow Falls,” she says, clapping both hands together. “Isn’t that adorable? Sounds like something out of a Christmas story!”

“Dear god,” you groan, pulling your head back inside. “I’m going to need more than the in-flight wine to get me through this.”

Zipping up your bag, you place this on the ground and look around your trailer. No personal effects, which is just how you like it. Fewer things to pack means fewer things to repack when the stint inevitably ends.

Five weeks, you remind yourself. Only five weeks until you can repack again.

© kpopfanfictrash, 2022. Do not copy or repost without permission.

Teaser #2: definitive ranking of sluttiest male sweaters

[chaoshoranghae]

Dreamies and curly hair

platonic

Gender neutral

Mark - 

learning progress together 

he absolutely loves your natural hair and would love to know how to take care of it 

he wants to be able to do, at least this for you 

def a long night together 

almost have to show it to him as a presentation 

visuals, step by steps

explaining if your hair needs more protein or moisturizer 

what each product does 

simple lazy day routines 

full wash day routines 

he loves it 

its a major part of who you are and he would love to be able to know about it and help you with it 

especially on days where its a low energy kind of day but you really need to wash it, dw he got your back 

would def say he's not as good at it but would try

def talks to johnny or his older hyungs about it, how interesting and different it is compared to what he knows

would write a song about curly hair or the process, atleast mentions of it 

you finally let him do the process by himself completely alone and later on posts pics "styled by my wonderful hairstylist bf" or "did yall know being an idol is a coverup for being a hairstylist"

he would be showing everyone your post about him 

Renjun - 

hes so into self care that he naturally might know a little about it 

especially when you have damaged hair and are trying to bring your curls back 

he is bringing out all the old chinese methods on hair recovery 

he loves your natural hair so much, will get a little pouty if you straighten it

the entire environment is so relaxing, candles lit, soft music running even him singing 

the vibes are immaculate 

once he knew how good he was at it, you will never touch your own hair again 

at this point its a routine, one of the things he looks forward to 

its intimate, just you and him, he might even give you some back massages, with being bent over doing your hair has it hurting 

or hes so in control you can completely relax and will read a book 

i would trust this guy with my hair 

Jeno 

a lesson learned together 

he's so used to his hair and the stylists doing his hair he never knew this much time, effort and money would go into your hair 

when ever he's shopping and sees a hair product he sends it to you immediately wondering if this would be good to try 

he's so optimistic about it 

he's the reason why you haven't gave up on your curls and permanently straighten it 

try out a new product and completely changed the way your hair looks for the worst 

but hes so motivated 

he relates what you hair needs to like working out and if you need more protein or to cut 

would totally make use of your wash/ style day and take a bunch of pictures 

consistent praises and compliments about how beautiful your hair is 

he wants to cater to his partner and absolutely make her love her hair 

Haechan 

he would bring a binder

step by step yk with his own visuals 

he would gamify it, like him getting good at it is his increasement of level or smth yk 

or he would “upgrade” and its a new hairstyle that he has mastered 

do not talk to him until he was good at it, he would be ready to practice until he had it down 

until you had to explain to him that wetting/washing  your hair everyday isn’t necessary 

he was so sad, you swear he was going to buy a mannequin head to practice on, locked away in your room

you guys go out? he brings up your hair to all of your friends about good and pretty it is, 1) to fish for compliments 2) because he wants you to hear compliments and feel better about your hair

bro is constantly touching it/[playing with it 

he absolutely loves it

always talking about his gfs hair 

he loves doing funky hairstyles for cosplaying or halloween 

hes like mark, telling everyone but he's so annoying about it 

the members have a jar for everytime he brings it up and has to put money in

like bro will not shut 

Jaemin 

bro would have princesscore hairstyle boards for you 

if you weren’t a princess before now you are 

i feel like he already learned before you because that was your hair type and he wanted to impress you or he's just naturally good at??? 

just like jeno he is so encouraging oh my gosh 

he always organizes your products in order 

if he sees your running low he’ll subtly see if you want a replacement or a new product and buy one for you 

he is so delicate with your hair oh my gosh 

no pulling, no tangles, no pain 

if you fallen asleep without braiding it or putting it up in a bonnet dw jaemins got you 

like leave it up to him

he knows your face shape and recommend hairstyles that fit your face shape and ones to avoid 

jaemin = personal stylist 

takes such perfect candids of you and your beautiful hair 

bro even writes little notes about how beautiful you look and how 

like the self hate you have on your hair from years of people telling you to straigten is gone 

bro will take the straightener so it won’t even come to mind 

Chenle 

he’s so 

at random just bulk of hair products coming to your place with no letter or sign 

will never admit that it was him though

a person really got to you about your hair recently and you've straighten it? he’ll do perm his hair so you guys can have “matching curls” 

like how dare you hate on something he loves 

he has absolutely no clue what any product does but he's seen your likes on ig and amazon lists

so he just buys them 

i think he's a little afraid to do it himself tbh 

so you have him do little by little yk 

first the brushing

which oh my gosh, hes just a tad bit rough with it tbh 

he compared your hair to daegals fur… 

which kinda threw you for a loop but realized he meant it in a weird compliment way as he absolutely adores daegal 

like he loves brushing her fur 

not one to trust with my hair though 

Jisung 

this poor boy 

hes allowed to watch and thats it 

like honestly i think the first couple of times he would be so amazed by how the whole process works that 

like he wouldn’t even suggest to help or learn he's just amazed 

but he does wanna help so he can help you out with the process, unlike the other ones who are completely allowed to take over

he's allowed simple processes like brushing hair or wetting it. 

teaching him prayer hands to apply products is a work in process 

he almost thinks of it as like a dance? 

once he learns the new world of curly hair he will be asking everyone about it and if they have curly hair 

he’s asking his hair stylists about it 

it’s a whole new world for him tbh like 

no matter how many times you explained your hair type and if what it needs he will ask again and again

he esp likes wash day where he gets to spend time with you as he helps alittle with your hair and you can ramble about life or he does

Who I would trust with my hair 

Jaemin 

Renjun

Haechan

Jeno

Chenle

Mark

Jisung

i could not decide who would get the binder it was between renjun/haechan/jeno

i tried enough to make them all different yk

[goldenboywrites]

sinking

Scorpius senses a trace of magic as he enters his apartment. It is his first sign that something is wrong.

Because no one knows where he is, he made sure of that when he graduated from Hogwarts and left everything and everyone behind. For a while, they had tried to seek him out. Anytime they got close, he would move. Finally, it seemed they had given up, and he had been in Cashel, Ireland ever since. 

It’s been too long for him to remember who the magical signature belongs to, but his magic recognizes it, and he knows it’s not a threat. When he gets to his apartment door, he finds it locked. Slotting the key into place, he steps into his one-bedroom apartment and looks around. It takes a second until he faces a familiar red-head from his past.

“Lily,” Scorpius greets in a warning. “I don’t recall inviting you over for tea.” 

She smiles sweetly at him from his couch and crosses her legs, raising a finger to point at his hair. “Been a while. What, like five years? Also, I hate the brown hair thing you’re doing. It doesn’t suit you.” Scorpius reaches up involuntarily to tug at the strands, hating the wave of self-consciousness that overcomes him at her comment. “You always felt like you needed to hide and change, but no one ever asked you to.” 

And it’s just like her to assume that his life has been easy when in fact, the entire fucking wizarding world had wanted him to change and to atone for things he hadn’t done. “Why are you here?” 

At this, she straightens up, pulling a binder out of her bag and placing it on the coffee table. “Before we dive into this. Let me tell you what I do know. I know you’re in between jobs. Honestly, you’ve been in between jobs for a very long time. I know that you have been attempting for a while now to open up a hybrid herbology shop and potions shop but all of your efforts have been for naught. So I tracked you down because I believe in your dream and want to make it happen. I already bought the location; as we speak, it’s being constructed. We split ownership 33% and some change between the two of us, but mostly, it’ll be yours to run as you see fit.” 

Scorpius steps forward and slides the binder off of the coffee table. He thumbs through the pages slowly. “33% and some change,” He says mockingly, “between us does not equal 100%. What are you not telling me?” His gaze flickers to hers, and he sees the truth on her face. She’s mostly telling the truth. But the business plan itself is legit. She’s not even renting the building; she bought it. It’s in a cozy little area where Teddy owns his bar, and Rose has her business. She’s trying to get him to come back into the fold. To come home. 

“There is a third investor, but he is not fully committed yet. He’s my next st-”

“I will no-” He starts, but she shakes her head, glaring up at him.

“Can you relax for a second? It’s not Albus. As if he would ever want to invest in a business like this. You may have been gone without a word for five years, but he hasn’t gotten any better at potions in that time.” 

“I was going to say I won’t work with James.” He wasn’t, but that’s no one’s business, only his own. 

She doesn’t buy it; she just rolls his eyes and lets him escape with it. “It’s a good deal, Scor. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted, and I’ve wrapped it all up in a pretty little bow for you.” 

“It’s just like a Potter to expect me to drop my entire life to come running home to run your business. I know what you do. You do whatever easy work you want, and I’ll be doing all the heavy lifting.”

“There is one Potter who you should drop your entire life and come running home to, but he’s not here asking you to do that. He has never asked you to do that, even when he should have. If you want my honest opinion-”

“I don’t.” Scorpius cuts her off because he doesn’t want to hear it. And then, “I’ll do it.”

So, in the short few weeks following Lily Potter’s visit, Scorpius moves back home. Not home, home, but in the area. He unpacks, repacks, and then unpacks again. He is committed to this; a part of him wants this. He won’t back down now. 

Two weeks after moving back home, Scorpius dyes his hair back to his original white blonde and gathers the courage to see the progress in the shop. He studied Lily’s binder front to back and sent her his edits and demands. That kept him busy for a bit, but he’s been itching to see the shop. 

So he goes. He avoids Rose’s shop because that is not a confrontation he is eager to face. Depending on how the day goes, he will stop by Teddy’s bar because he was the only one Scorpius kept in constant contact with when he moved away, and there will be no confrontation with him. The rest…will have to be baby steps taken very, very slowly. 

The sign for the shop is up when he arrives. ‘LAS BOTANICALS & POTIONS’ it reads. The name stops Scorpius in his tracks. Three letters, three owners. Lily, Scorpius, and then it clicks. And he knows, he fucking knows what the ‘a’ in the name stands for, and he knows he’s been played, probably by all of them. But it doesn’t matter. He committed; he made the move already. He was contracted into this because Lily Luna Potter crosses her t’s and dots all of her i’s. His hands curl into fists as he reads the sign repeatedly, looking for any other meaning in the name, but he knows her far too well. He knows all of them far too well. 

He knows Albus will be there when he steps into that store.

So he walks in. 

And there he is, standing behind the register in all of his glory. Every moment between the two of them hits Scorpius like a bullet. It had always been them, side by side. Two people but one soul. It had gotten more intimate, deeper when they were teenagers. First kisses and shared touches. Until Albus wanted more, and Scorpius said no. He remembers that day as if it were yesterday. They had been sleeping together for a few months at that point. Albus was making their plan for after graduation. He asked, already expecting the answer, if they were together and Scorpius had been so struck by it, scared of its commitment, the realness, his last name tarnishing Albus’ reputation, that he had said we are not together. 

He moved the day after graduation and hasn’t looked back since. 

Until now. 

“Did you know?” He asked, his gaze scanning over the man’s features. He was five years older, but he would always be Albus Potter. Scorpius would always know him in a crowd. “LAS,” He said, pointing at the signage inside of the store. “I assume it stands for Lily, Albus, and Scorpius?” He couldn’t tell by looking at him if he was in on it. The Albus he had known always wore his emotions on his face, but the man in front of him annoyedly remained neutral. “What did she do to get you to agree to this? From what I remember, these were subjects you had no interest or talent in school.” This wasn’t what I signed up for. He wanted to scream because he was scared and felt backed into a corner, all while Albus was eerily calm and collected. “Forget it,” Scorpius said with an air of defeat. “Tell your sister I don’t appreciate being deceived, and I’m backing out.” 

@magiclwritings

[brrrkdslek]

not a post i just need to vent a bit.

i remember when i just started middle school, i was super nervous and felt like absolute shit. i didn't know anyone since i transferred from a different primary school so i was absolutely fucked. but i met a few friends and one of them, judy.

judy was a sweet girl and she was a bit awkward and weird, nevertheless it made me grow more fond of her. we spent the entire year together growing closer and doing more things together, i even went to an anicon in cosplay with her, we even became each other's best friend.

but a year later, her change started to show. she said she didn't like the name judy and changed it to eryn, of course i brushed it off and said it's cool. she also cut her hair and looked a bit more different from judy. from then on, judy and eryn became two people.

we were in class when she suddenly told me about getting a binder. at first, i thought she meant a binder as in folder for her notes and worksheets and i was confused. she clarified and said it was a binder for her chest, like the bandage. i didn't make any comments and just took it in. i wasn't disgusted, or happy to be frank. i was just fairly confused, but of course i supported her the entire way.

a while after that she told me about wanting to transition, we were 13-14 at the time so it was really shocking news for me, especially since the place we resided in is not fond of trans people, it made me worried. i told her how it's a tad bit too early for her to make that decision and the journey towards it would be hard. she told me it's fine and she could do it, adding that she felt more comfortable that way.

sometime after, she dropped the news of transferring to a new school. i was shocked and my other friends were too. she said that the workload was too much and she didn't care if she was in a bad school, as long as she was happy. i was a bit reluctant but still supported her, giving her a small smile.

after she changed schools, we talked less but she'd come visit us sometimes after school. a while after i heard from a friends that she changed her name again to quinn, something about being male and female? we met a while after and she told me how she could wear pants for the uniform instead of the skirt like the other girls. i told her it was cool but she said she went back to the shop to but the pants secretly after her parents bought her the skirt uniform.

i was a bit appalled since her mother and i were also close and i knew she was having a hard time with money. she works 5(?) jobs to provide for her and her little brother and also her dog, which she got as an emotional support from her therapy suggestions. i then learnt she wasn't taking her adhd meds and i honestly didn't know what to say, so i didn't.

at that point, me and friends slowly started to distance ourselves from her since she was acting so weird. she was always excited to talk about how the people in her school would ask if she's a girl or boy and she'd act mysterious and not answer. maybe it's just me but i felt that she was using this 'transgender' thing to her entertainment. like she wanted people to question her gender and identity and she was having fun with it.

my friends agreed with me saying it wasn't fair to other transgender people that actually go through so much shit just to he comfortable in their own bodies. she was just playing around and making fun out of being 'transgender' to which i should add is not even true.

quinn then developed feelings for another friend in our group, M, and wrote self-insert fanfics of them. it made M uncomfortable and weirded out so all of us just stopped communicating with her as much as we could.

i was on a cruise one night with my family to celebrate my mom's coworker or something i didn't even know. i had a few too many drinks then and dialled her number. we chatted a bit and i was still drinking, then i suddenly blurted out that i was in love with her, which is not true. i just said it in the heat of the moment and blacked out.

i heard from another friend that i wasn't supposed to know she was in love with M since she didn't want to hurt my feelings. i was a bit angered that moment cause i thought she was being narcissistic, to which it had been two months after the incident. maybe i was being a huge bitch and i was the real narcissist but i was really mad she felt the need to 'care' for my feelings.

she went out with another friend, C, a while later and they had a good chat. quinn asked what she thought about trans people and C replied saying most of them are cool, except for the really weird ones. weird as in toxic and the cringe ones you see on tiktok. quinn got offended and yelled at C telling her trans people are also people and that she was being transphobic. C was incredibly upset and cried to us afterwards.

it was around christmas last year when quinn called me crying, telling me she was sorry for being a bitch and making me and the others hate her. i told her we didn't hate her and we just don't support the things she's doing and saying now.

i created a separate group chat with all the friends including quinn and she apologised to everyone. i thought it would've been resolved but my friends started to hate me and said i was a traitor for telling quinn all the things we said about her, which wasn't true. but they distanced themselves from me and i heavily blamed quinn for it, even thought it wasn't her fault.

some time after new years, quinn's school had a casual wear day and she was telling me how excited she was for it. i scrolled on instagram on that day after school and cringed when i saw her wear a maid dress to school. again, maybe it's just something wrong with me but i couldn't help but feel the second-hand embarrassment, and the fact that she doesn't really have any real friends there makes it more awkward.

i screenshotted the picture and posted it in my close friends, not to make fun of her, but to just let out the cringing feeling i was feeling right then. my other friend, A, saw this and told quinn. they met one day after school and they were talking about how me and quinn were growing more distant from each other and that's when A showed her the picture. A told quinn to talk things out with me and communicate with each other.

i was a bit taken aback when i found a long text paragraph from quinn in my whatsapp just a day later, telling me i'm rude and bitchy for doing that to her and that she didn't want to be my friend anymore. i know calling her cringe was very mean and bitchy on my part and i wish i never did that.

we argued and i told her all my thoughts on her actions up until that point and she just kept calling me transphobic and a traitor. i got angry and told her that if she didn't want to fix things then she could just cut me off, she told me i was a bitch and only lived in my head.

it's been a year or so since this happened but i can never forget about her, not because of what she said but because of how i handled the situation. i was the person who taught her to be herself and do what she wanted but then i stab her in the back and tell people she's cringe and whatnot. i won't make excuses for myself but i really did cherish her and the friendship we had.

maybe this was also her fault, or maybe entirely mine but who knows? i just feel really sorry i made her feel that way, when i was the one she considered best friend. i hate myself for this, for ruining us. but i'm too much of a coward to apologise, when i know in my gut she was wrong on some parts.

maybe this is how it is, we meet and say goodbye. we teach each other things the other had never known. and when the time comes, we part, one way or another.

[kaunis-sielu]

Frozen: Hair Binder

It’s been a brutal practice, after a string of losses Odin is working the guys harder than he has in a while and that has meant a busier practice for you, Jane and the new intern Darcy.

You’re tending to another small injury, Fandral had wiped out and hit his chin on the ice cutting it open. You thought it might need stitches but thankfully you’re able to bandage it up and he gets back on the ice.

Jane is getting a couple of ice baths ready when Loki goes sprawling out on the ice taking out the goal, when he doesn’t get up you slide out onto the ice.

“You okay?” You ask sinking to crouch next to him.

“Hit the side with my hip.” He grunts and you pull your hair back so it’s out of your face.

“Can you sit up?”

“Give me a second Moxie?”

“Sure.” You tell him pulling the hair binder off of your wrist. You wrap it around your ponytail before the binder snaps in your hand. “Aw shit.” You murmur, “Darcy? Can you get me a hair binder?”

“A what?”

“Oh, uh a hair tie? Mine snapped, there should be one in the side pocket of my other bag.” You tell her as Loki slowly moves to lean his body weight on his shoulders.

“Fuck.” Loki breathes and you tug at his jersey to try and see the damage. “Thor, your girl is trying to strip me.” He says and Thor laughs from behind you.

“Thor your brother is being an idiot. How much pain are you in?”

“7.” He grits out between his teeth, Loki’s hips have long been one of his biggest issues.

“Can you sit up?” You ask again and he sits up slowly, his teeth are clenched tightly. “Thor a little help?” You tell him and he scoops Loki up and helps support his brother to the bench.

“Darcy did you find that hair binder?”

“No, I have a rubber band though.” She offers and you sigh softly.

“That’ll have to do.” You’re going to have to cut it out of your hair later but you don’t want it in your face all day. Especially if you’re going to be working over the ice baths. Thor and Hogan get Loki into the training room then head back out to the rink.

“Can you get your gear off or do you need help?”

“I am not a child.” He snaps before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re in pain. I won’t hold it against you.” You assure him gently as he starts to remove his gear. “Want me to do your skates?”

“Okay.” He agrees and you unlace then pull off his skates. You don’t talk much but once he’s got all his gear off you take a look at his hip. It’s deeply bruised and you’re honestly startled.

“Why does it look like this?”

“The check from Korg yesterday.”

“Loki, I can’t take care of you if you don’t tell me when you’re hurt!” You scold him. You spend most of the rest of practice with Loki, you get him into the ice bath then head back out to practice.

Three weeks later you and Loki are at the hospital, his hip is taking longer to heal than you want it to so here you are.

You’re watching the pregame stuff, while you wait for the x-rays to come back and Thor is being interviewed by the newest reporter Manti, a sweet woman who is more than likely been hired because she’s kind of ditzy but very cute.

“We’ve really focused a lot this week on being a more cohesive team, I think it’s going to help.”

“Why are you wearing a hair binder?”

“What?” Thor says and you can’t help but echo the thought, what in the world?

“Sorry, it’s been a trending topic on RedWing. Fans are wondering why you’re wearing a hair binder on your wrist.”

“Oh,” Thor says with a little grin, “my girlfriend’s binder snapped the other day so I started wearing an extra just in case she needs it.” Your mouth drops open in surprise and you can’t help the little flutter your heart gives.

“Damn.” Loki says, “did you ask him to do that?”

“No.”

“Wow, he’s got it bad for you Moxie. Not only did he call you his girlfriend in an interview but he’s wearing a hair tie on his wrist because he knew that you were annoyed about not having a hair tie the other day at practice.” You honestly don’t think that you deserve a man like Thor, he’s so attentive and so sweet.

“I, shit man.”

“I see why he likes you.” Loki teases, “You’re so eloquent.” You flip him off as the doctor knocks on the door.

You come up with a plan with the doctor for some strength training on Loki’s hip. You’re going to add heat to his daily regimen and some other stretches. The good news is that it’s not the bone but tight muscles so if you do the PT he shouldn’t have to have surgery.

You and Loki drive back to the rink in comfortable conversation, you get along with Thor’s snarky younger brother well. “We’ll start PT tomorrow.” You tell him as you park in your spot and he sighs heavily,

“Fine.”

“Do you want to start today?”

“No, it’s going to be terrible.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” Sometimes the PT the guys have to do is painful and makes things worse before it feels better. “But if we don’t start soon you’re just going to be out longer and I know you wanna be playing for the playoffs.” Loki climbs out of your car and sighs heavily.

“You’re right but I’m still not excited about it.”

“We can take it slow.”

“Romantic,” he teases, “does my brother need to worry?”

“Worry about what?” Thor’s voice comes from behind you and you glance over your shoulder at him.

“Your woman wants to take it slow with me.” Loki says throwing his arm on your shoulders and you roll your eyes at him.

“He’s scared of his PT.” Thor laughs then offers you his hand. “Also, since we all know he’s sweet on Yelena we know all the flirting from Loki is just a show.” The deep shade of red that Loki turns is so satisfying and both you and Thor laugh softly.

“I think you’ve been bested little brother.”

“You can keep her, she’s a menace.”

“You won’t be saying that when I become the best wingwoman ever and set you up with Yelena.” Loki mumbles something then scurries off and you turn to Thor.

“So, you’re the sweetest man on the planet you know that?” You tell him and he grins down at you.

“Not that I’m arguing but why?” You pluck at the hair binder on his wrist.

“This is for me?” You ask softly and he hums,

“It’s a small thing I can do to make your life easier. Why would I not do it?” It’s then that you know, for a fact, that you love him.

“I,” you stop yourself, this isn’t the place you want to make that confession, “I can’t believe how thoughtful that is. Thank you.”

“Of course min kärlek.”

“That’s a new one.” You tell him with a laugh he kisses you softly.

“It is. Now, when we win where do you want to go to celebrate?”

“Honestly I just kind of want a night in.”

“I’ll have my mom take Astrid to her house rather than have them at my place.”

“You don’t have to. I like hanging out with her.”

“I know, and she adores you but I think I just want a night with the two of us.”

“Okay. And if you lose?”

“Same thing?” He offers and you laugh.

“How about we order in from different places, win we do Drax and if we lose we do..”

“Leftovers?”

“Yes!” You agree and he laughs this time.

“Deal.” He kisses you quickly then heads for the locker room.

The game ends in a blowout, Asgard wins four to nothing and Thor had played incredibly well scoring two goals and with Loki off the ice you don’t have a very busy night.

“Why don’t you order for us and we can pick up the food on the way home.”

“Okay,” you agree as he goes to be interviewed and then change. You do some paperwork then order some food and go to meet Thor in the hallway.

You’re not overly surprised to see Manti hanging out in the hallway so you text Thor,

Manti is out here. Do you wanna keep things private or..?

Up to you Kattenuge.

I don’t think I’m ready.

That’s fine. Do you want to go to the car? Text me when you get there and I’ll unlock it.

Okay.

Even though he says it’s fine you feel terrible that you’re still sneaking around but you’ve seen how vicious the public can be with Cat and Steve’s relationship. He unlocks his car for you and you slip inside then a couple minutes later you see him come out of the rink and he joins you in the car. Thor rests a hand on your leg as he drives and you play with his fingers but neither of you talk.

“Are you upset?” You ask breaking the silence.

“What? Kattenuge, why would I be?”

“Because I’m not ready for the world to know.”

“No, of course not Kattenuge. I left that up to you for a reason, I want you to be comfortable and I know it can be hard being in the public eye.” He gives your thigh a gentle squeeze, “Even if you’re never ready we can handle it.” God you love him. “Is the food under your name or mine?” He asks as he pulls up to the restaurant.

“Oh, mine.” You slip out of the car, get your food then head back to his car.

When you get back to his house you bring the food in and eat together on the floor of the living room. It’s like a cute little picnic and you end up laying on his chest while you watch a movie.

“Hey, I love you.” You tell him not moving from where you’re laying against him. Thor’s fingers still where they’ve been playing with your hair and you’re terrified you’ve said it too soon.

“You do?”

“Yea, I was gonna say something earlier but it didn’t feel like the place for it.”

“I love you too.”

“Oh thank god. I thought you were going to leave me hanging there for a second.” You tell him and Thor laughs softly, “If you’re wondering, it was when you said if you could do something small to make my life easier why not do it.”

“That was when you knew?” He asks and you finally look up at him.

“Yea.”

“I knew when you came over and treated Astrid.”

“That was months ago.”

“I know. I didn’t want to scare you off min kärlek.”

“What is that one?”

“My love.”

🏒🏒🏒

This is a series of one shots. If you have any suggestions or ideas for Thor and Moxie please let me know.

Tag list:

@foxyjwls007 @andahugaroundtheneck @also-fangirlinsweden @pagina16ps @princesssterek @valsworldofcreativity @dumblani @inkedaztec @loving-life-my-way @animegirlgeeky @shinycupcakebaker @eralen @sophham @gh0stgurl @wonderlandfandomkingdom @killcomet @abschaffer2 @sass-masterkittenmama

[highlordofkrypton]

the binder // a clark kent, orm marius & bruce wayne smut collection

SUMMARY: The binder is a comprehensive reference book for Orm to understand various surface practices pertaining to sex, kinks, foreplay and intimacy. Clark has explained that sex goes beyond duty, and for him, it’s a form of love, affection and exploration. This fic compiles all the smut inspired by Clark’s binder.

This smut-only fic ties in with five years (or an AU version of that). Each chapter is considered a one-shot, and scenes will feature either Clark and Orm, Clark or Orm, or their favourite recurring guest (until he "becomes so fucking for real" with himself about this ship): Bruce Wayne. Please note that I am officially calling this threesome: SUPERWETBATS.

RATING: Explicit

PAIRING: Various combinations of Clark Kent, Orm Marius & Bruce Wayne.

chapter 1 - touchstarved

(Read below the cut - 18+ only)

The suite is silent, peaceful after a long day of trailing the children around the parks. He can shed the disguise, and the expensive tailored clothing; designed to look mundane, but unaffordable to those the look was inspired by. He could have borrowed Clark’s clothes, but their friendship isn’t like that anymore, is it? Not since that night.

Just one more time, they had agreed.

Yet that one time was enough to drive a wedge between them, and Bruce has yet to figure out how to bridge the Orm-sized gap between them. This week is an olive branch—an attempt to make a family out of the ill-fitting and complicated components: a now-married ex-lover (and former best friend?), his (usually) hateful husband, an adopted orphan and a clone-turned-son. This heroic life is complicated.

The more Bruce thinks about it, the more the needling between his brows grows into a headache. At the very least, this week is simple. Visit the parks, let the kids run free, and make amends. They’ve been through so much, and Bruce is tired of fighting. This week has been as week of kindness, and he shows his desire to move on in the only way he knows how: throw money at the issue. (Only because he cannot punch, or out think his way through this one.)

Bruce is up late into the evening. He can’t sleep again, and there’s a nagging energy twisting its way through his leg, giving it an anxious bound when he is not anxious. He is perfectly fine. He’s even brought a book, and for the life of him, he cannot remember what it’s about. His eyes keep glazing over the words, reading the same line over and over to the point that he starts to wonder: does Disney World need Batman?

Probably not.

“What are you doing?”

He hadn’t heard Orm’s arrival; his coiled energy nearly makes him jump, if only to give him something to do.

“Reading,” he clips, feigning investment in the book.

“Do you ever sleep like a regular human?” Orm’s voice is clear judgement, despite the betrayal of his happy (faint) bioluminescent glow. That joy has nothing to do with this irregular human.

Bruce turns a page, and sighs with mild annoyance. He finally closes the book, and meets Orm’s eyes. “My body is used to being awake for patrols. It’s too much of a hassle to change that for this vacation, and have to return to that pattern when we get home.”

He finally drinks in the sight of the Atlantean before him. Orm’s blonde hair is in disarray, and errant droplets of water cling to his skin, needing the King just as much as he craves the sea. Bruce’s gray eyes slowly trail the line of his body, noting the towel. He wears nothing else. On his shoulder, a bruise roughly the shape of Clark’s hand is already healing, along with faint bite, and kiss marks.

“Why are you here?” He uses antagonism as a way of distraction. “Did you come to thank me for the good idea?” The last time he saw the two of them, Clark seemed very happy. Of course, he would be. Bruce knows what he likes, and grand gestures are right up Clark’s alley. Seeing Orm put on a mermaid show for surface children is the kind of generosity that will win Clark over every single time. If the bruises are anything to go by, Bruce was right.

“No.” Just like that, the taunt is ignored. Orm tips his head, raising a brow in Bruce’s direction. Though his eyes have yet to adjust to the surface, he can feel the weight of Bruce’s gaze on him. He steps closer. Not too close, but just enough. “Like what you see?”

There’s a moment where Bruce considers running from this. He’d made his interest clear. He’d described what he wanted out of all of this. He ran from Clark once, and it was his mistake. The family, the kids and the stupid little vacations—he wants it all. Orm was willing, so long as he earned it—so long as he undid all the chaos and the hurt he’d caused. This afternoon had been a truce on both parts.

“Yes,” he swallows and nods, allowing a sliver of emotion to slip through.

Orm remains impassive as he takes a seat across Bruce. “I owe you a song,” he says simply. From this afternoon. In the long conversation of wants, and needs, comfort had been a confession slipped between the gentle sloshing of water at the aquarium. A king always repays his debts.

Bruce nods, accepting the gift given; he expects nothing, and the kindness warms him. He lays down on the couch. The lullaby washes over him, coaxing his muscles to ease, and his mind to slow. Orm’s sirensong grounds him in the present; it bars Bruce from crashing against the waves of his anger, and his vengeance. His lips part in a gentle sigh.

When it ends, Bruce is acutely aware of Orm’s presence—of the way the King shifts from his seat, and makes a throne of the head of the couch. He opens his eyes, watching him curiously, and he knows Orm is aware of him, too.

“You may not touch, but you may look. If you wish.”

The rules stand. Orm is to initate. Bruce will not. He will wait, and he will take what is given to him.

Bruce gets up slowly. A deep breath in, and exhale through his nose—a sound often heard when he’s trying to regulate his reactions. It’s his attempt to keep his emotions guarded and out of whatever this is.

“Look at what,” he challenges and leans back, casually. “Everything on display, I’ve seen.”

“Look at me,” Orm replies, head tilting again questioningly. “Naked.” He thought it was obvious. “Without the towel.”

Bruce’s nostrils flare, and his eyes darken. The flirty look on his face dampens ever so slightly, slipping into focus and determinaion. It’s easier to flirt when he doesn’t care—when he thinks he doesn’t want it as much as he does. “Get rid of the towel.” His voice finds that familiar low rumble, but this time, it’s made of velvet instead of gravel and justice.

The order touches upon the part of Orm’s brain that thrives on orders. He’s a king and a warrior, and he understands the value of a well-executed mission. On land, he relies on the auditory than the visual, and he likes the silk in Bruce’s voice. He stands, closing the distance between them. He takes hold of Bruce’s hands and guides them to rest on the towel, just above his waist.

“Make me.”

Bruce tracks Orm’s every movement, like a hunter stalking his prey. (Or is he the one on the cusp of being devoured?) His entire being ignites, thrilled by the back and forth of this unnamed thing. Here, he does not have to pretend. The silk pyjama pants do nothing to hide his interest, cock tenting beneath the fabric and standing it with a growing spot of precome.

He lets Orm touch him which is a rare feat indeed.

“Your orders are contradictory, your highness.” Bruce mocks because he can. He looks to Orm as man, not a king. The title is so out of place, as if he would yield to anyone, and yet it’s terribly fitting that a king would find a way to make Bruce surrender to his own desires. “Do you want me to look, or to touch?”

Orm likes the title. He hums, leaning forward slightly, eyes gleaming, fixated on Brue. He has never been much of a patient man when it comes to getting what he wants. Orm guides Bruce’s hands, undoing the towel and letting it fall to the floor. He leans closer, his warm breath curling between them as he speaks lowly. “Look.”

There’s a dangerous moment where Bruce considers capturing Orm’s lips with his; his eyes keep flickering towards them, watching the way they curve around that single command. Arousal pools low, erection twitching with a yearning for more.

“Fuck,” he breathes, licking his lips—a subconscious gesture—and he bites his bottom one. So close, and yet, so far.

Bruce leans back, admiring Orm in all his glory, not just his proud cock. Art should be appreciated in its entirety. Yeah, this is going to live rent free in his mind for days. He doesn’t miss the smug look on Orm’s face.

The King moves with purpose, running his hands over his taut muscle of his abs and the V of his hips, then finally coming to rest at the base of his cock. Orm strokes himself slowly and with deliberation, never taking his eyes off Bruce.

Those hands are mesmerizing, Bruce follows their every direction. Those hands had fascinated him during the war, wielding the trident like the judgemental hand of god, and in the water as he weaved a performance for Clark. Bruce is drawn to them, thinking of what it would feel like to touch him; he didn’t get to touch him last time, but the last time doesn’t count.

They promised—They promised they would override the old memory with newer, better ones.

To look without touching is torture, but Bruce has survived the most brutal training the world has to offer. He can survive this slow and sensual ache. His cock demands attention, straining against the fabric, and reaching for his belly. Bruce feels Orm’s gaze on him, and responds with an easy smirk. Even now, he refuses to lose. He leans forward, bringing his face so close that his warm breath skirts over Orm’s sensitive skin. He’s not touching, he’s just watching—inspecting—very, very closely.

The sound of Orm stroking himself halts, a blanket of silence falling over them. Orm’s boundaries are respected, and he rewards the restraint by fondling his balls now, putting on a show.

He leans forward, husking, “Like what you see?” A tease.

A soft moan escapes Bruce, and it’s beyond his control. Beneath it, a gentle unspoken plea is uttered. He could, if he wanted to, slip his tongue from his pink lips and lick the glistening bead off the tip of Orm’s cock, but he doesn’t. He wonders if he would be punished; he thinks he might be rewarded by having that length stuffed deep into his throat. He’d let Orm fuck his mouth as roughly as he wants. Bruce is at the mercy of the strain in his pants, the throbbing of his erection and the growing bloom of precum across the dark silk.

Bruce wars against himself, debating against the truth and tease of his own.

“I’ve seen a lot of pretty packages.”

“Not like this,” Orm replies, haughty, teasing.

“No,” is all Bruce can manage, the word is choked out. He curls his fingers into a fist on his thigh, willing himself to stay put. Look, don’t touch, was the order. His nails dig into his palm, leaving vicious little crescent imprints into his pale skin.

He wants, wants, wants—

Just a taste on his tongue, it would be so easy, he’s already so close. His erection has crossed the boundary from demanding to desperate. Just a touch. He would come undone so quickly. Bruce could come, but he fights it with everything that he has. His lips part in a yearning moan.

Orm completes the show for Bruce, shifting back to stroking himself off, hand curled in slow, decisive strokes. He rides the wave of pleasure until he finally reaches the climax. Orm licks his fingers off sensually, still holding Bruce’s gaze.

He tilts his head, content, satiated. “Do you want me to touch you?” A ghost of a smile crosses his face. “Or perhaps another show.”

Bruce wants—

He wants so many damned things.

He wants to curl his tongue between those fingers, and lick them clean. He wants to take Orm to his root, and suck every drop out of him, and make sure that he is pristine. (As a king should be.) He wants to know if Orm tastes like the sea, or if he tastes just as bitter as the first day they met.

Bruce cannot find the words for what he wants, so he just nods. “Let me?” He asks, reaching for Orm’s hand.

Orm narrows his eyes, considering the request. He thinks that Bruce has requested for touch to help him reach climax as well, but his hand ends up at a far difference place. He frowns, processing this, hand curved around the square of Bruce’s jaw. He pauses for a moment, then adds his other hand to the mix, cupping Bruce’s face, leaning forward to rest his forehead against the human’s as well.

Bruce reaches down, pulling himself out of his expensive, luxurious pajamas. He strokes himself, eyes fluttering shut to hone in on the feeling of being caressed. Orm’s touch is cool, and comforting—the night air that cuts through his feverish nightmares. A second hand reaches for him, and he gasps, softly, stroking harder and faster.

The sound of his flesh joins in the symphony of his breath, and soft sounds of restrained pleasure. A strangled sob escapes him as soon as Orm presses his forehead against his.

The mounting pleasure becomes unbearable.

The comfort is all he’s ever asked for.

He comes through grit teeth and grunts, pumping himself dry, even after there’s nothing more left to give. Bruce breathes, hard and heavy. He refuses to open his eyes, unwilling to face the vulnerability he has offered up between them.

Beneath the pleasure, there is shame.

Beneath the shame, desperation.

“I have to clean up,” he clips, pulling back and tucking himself away.

Orm does not understand the change of pace. He thinks to ask if it was enjoyable; he assumes it was, Bruce had been pleasuring himself. “Yes,” he says instead, stiffly. “As do I.”

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Day two of @serennedyweek : T4T!!

This isn’t nsfw but I hope it still counts!!!!! It’s just pure tooth-rotting fluff chendhendhsndj

Fic under cut!!

Luis flipped the pancakes slowly cooking on the hot pan with a flick of his wrist, shimmying them around the edges until they lay flat again. The morning sun creeping through the windowsill basked the eggs and cooked pancakes at his side in a picturesque glow, looking far too domestic for Luis’ liking.

He hummed along to the tune in his head, tapping his heels every so often as he slipped the third pancake onto the plate next to him. Luis could almost get completely lost in his mind, with the pattern of flipping pancakes becoming routine. But his thoughts were broken when he suddenly heard a loud, thud thud thud coming from the staircase.

“¡Buenos días mí amor!”

Luis turned the stove off to turn around and face Leon, who was making his way down the stairs with a tired, bleary look on his face. Luis smiled, watching Leon rub the sleep out of his eyes, blinking like a newborn deer.

It’d been three or so days since Leon had finally gotten Top Surgery, and similar to when Luis was rescued from Spain; he was basically keeping a constant eye on his lover. The first couple days were especially noteworthy, as even though Luis had told Leon about every single small thing to expect when coming out of Top Surgery, he could tell Leon was still not used to his movements being so restricted. And being constantly sore and achey.

“ Mornin’,” Leon groaned, his voice gravelly and low. Luis took mental note of his partners Compression Binder, which Leon was absentmindedly scratching at.

“Your voice sounds so sexy when you first wake up, cariño”

“ Ssshuddup” Leon grumbled at his partners teasing, struggle to hold back a smile while Luis giggled at his own bad joke. Luis didn't even notice at first when Leon wrapped his arms around his waist, burying his face in the back of his long hair. Luis leaned back a little, smiling

“How’re you feeling?”

“ Bad” was all Leon could say while muffled under his hair. Luis chuckled,

“I’m assuming you mean physically?”

“Yeah. Of coarse. Like obviously I’m excited to see my chest when this is all off, but…”

“You’re sore?”

Leon just signed, and Luis could feel his nose pressed up against his neck.

“I’m sore and I’m constantly aching and I feel like I’ve been smacked against a wall fifteen times”

“Haven’t you actually been smacked against a wall fifteen times before?”

Luis heard Leon grunt from behind him, clearly trying not to laugh at his poor attempt at a joke.

“lo siento, lo siento. It’s just too easy to tease you,” he leaned his head back to rest it on top of Leons, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Nothing else hurts though, no? No sharp pains?”

He could feel Leon shake his head in confirmation. “No. I just really wanna get this binder off. I got the damn surgery so I’d never have to wear one again ”

Luis let out what could only be described as a huff of air through his nose, leaning his arm back semi-awkwardly to scratch at his partners head.

“Do you need anything else, though?”

He could feel Leon hugging him tighter. Confirming his answer wordlessly.

“ Oh, Mi corazón, you just want a hug, huh?” Leon nodded. Luis felt bad for having to pry him off of his waist, with the blonde still clinging to him like a koala. He made a small noise of complaint, giving Luis the biggest most saddest kicked-puppy-dog eyes he’d ever seen in his entire life. He knew he’d have to bargain for his forgiveness.

“How about this,” Luis started, turning around to face Leon

“I serve you up breakfast, and then I can massage your poor-sore back for as long as you want. Deal?”

At the mention of ‘breakfast’, Leon’s eyes widened, adjacent to that of a dog hearing it’s favorite word.

“You cooked me breakfast?”

“Who did you think this was all for?” Luis waved his spatula over the countertop to highlight the food being served up. There was easily enough for two people, but Luis knew Leon ate like a teenage boy before and after his T-Shots.

Leon furrowed his eyebrows, “ Luis, seriously hun, you didint have to do all that for me..”

“Shush, Leon, I wanted to” Luis gave him a peck on the nose. “It’s not often I get to treat you like this”

Before Leon can object, a plate full of fresh eggs, bacon and a side of pancakes were shoved into his chest. “Now go eat this before it gets cold, ve, ve,” he shooed him to the table, following suit not long after tidying the countertop.

Luis was being honest; it wasn’t often he got to fully treat Leon like this. In-between missions and other ridiculous government requests, they’d often talked about domesticality and what their future together might look like. Luis, at least, liked to picture himself pampering Leon more often than he did now. Díos mío, he really was becoming a Househusband, wasn't he?

For a little bit, the two of them ate in silence. But that was mostly just because Leon took to shoveling his breakfast in his mouth like it was his last meal. Luis found it oddly charming. Resting his chin against his hand, he looked at his partner with a teasing, dreamy look. “ Oh mí muñeco, what on earth did you eat before you met me?”

Leon actually stopped chewing to consider his answer for a moment, before swallowing and responding, “Uh, I dunno, maybe like.. two minute noodles? Toast? Whatever was in the cupboard. Nothing like what you make me”

The Spaniard couldn’t help but bark a laugh, covering his mouth. “ Díos mío how did you not die?!”

“Well! In my defense! I’d usually go over to Chris or Claire’s after a mission!! They always had food in the fridge for me” Leon shoveled another fork-full of eggs into his mouth before he could dig his own grave any further. Luis just dramatically sighed like a disappointed parent

“Poor Chris”

“How long did I sleep in for?” Leon finally changed the subject after swallowing a mouthful of eggs, wiping the edges of his mouth with a spare tissue.

“It’s 10:50 now, so… about four-ish hours, no?”

“ It’s ten-to?!” Luis cringed as he watched Leon almost choke on his food. His expression was that of horror, like Luis had just told him that somebody died. Americans and their punctuality, he supposed.

“¡Más despacio! You needed the rest, querido!”

Luis remembered vividly just how damn much he slept after he initially got Top Surgery however many years ago. And back then he didn't even have a job to be tired about. But before Leon could open his mouth to argue, Luis interrupted him

“You’re recovering from a massive surgery, you need the sleep. Plus, the government basically gave us a whole months vacation. I say, ‘why not waste it and sleep the whole time?’”

Leon just smirked and glared at Luis, scrunching his nose a little. “ You just wanted an excuse to get a free month off, huh?”

Luis threw his head back and laughed, not meaning to be so loud- but Leon’s little pout was far too priceless.

“¡cómo te atreves!! I offer to take care of you for an entire month and this is the thanks I get?”

Luis knew that Leon knew he was joking. He was grateful for that, that they could poke jabs at each other without either getting defensive. But Luis was, again, being completely honest. And Leon wasn’t entirely wrong, either. Having a month off from the constant chain of life-threatening events was a welcome break in routine.

“Back on topic. Did anything happen while I was sleeping in?”

“ Such a worrier, mi príncipe - nothing happened. Oh actually, that’s a lie, Chris called you”

“ Really?” Leon seemed surprised at that. “What about?”

“He wanted to come over with Claire later, told me he had a surprise for you. He also told me not to tell you what it was, though”

Luis felt his chest grow warm at the sight of Leon’s genuine smile. It was nice, seeing him think so fondly of his friends. Luis was grateful for it.

“If you’re ok with it, I can ring them and tell them to pop round later, maybe?”

“I certainly don’t mind,” Luis nodded, collecting the empty plates.

“They’re lovely people” despite Luis’… uh, controversial past, Chris and Claire extended their gratitude for taking such good care of Leon. They were always nice to him, and Luis tried his best to make a good impression in return.

Luis glanced over at the clock, which now read 11:10. Which reminded him,

“Ah, speaking of time, your next T-Shot is due today, right? One day behind mine”

“Oh, yeah, almost forgot. Thanks for reminding me, love”

“No problem,” Luis took the empty dishes to the sink before Leon had a chance to get up. He cringed inwards sympathetically as he watched his partner wince a little while trying to push himself off the chair. “Do you need help?”

“With what? The shot, or standing up?”

“Ah, both”

Leon laughed, balancing himself upright and stretching a little, much to Luis’ relief.

“I can stand perfectly fine on my own, love,” he dramatically waved Luis away. “But if you’re offering, I certainly wouldn’t mind the help with my shots”

“trato,” Luis took his partners hand, regardless of how fine Leon seemed standing upright on his own. It was more reassurance for himself than anything else, really

“If you just wait on the couch, I’ll do grab everything else. Then I can give you that massage I promised”

Leon’s T-Shots took no time at all. The way their apartment windows were positioned had the sun beaming directly onto the couch, giving Luis more of an incentive to stare at his lover dreamily. His ashy-blonde hair framed his face like a halo, and the sun seemed to hit all the right spots to give Leon’s best features a glow. The bridge of his nose, his eyelashes, his cheekbones… Luis could easily sit there for hours and contemplate how he got so lucky.

“Eres muy hermoso, mi amor,” Luis’ gaze flickered between the needle in his hand and Leon’s face. Of which his cheeks were becoming a slight shade of pink as he turned to break the eye contact in embarrassment.

“Speak for yourself” was all he could grumble, his lower face buried in his palm as Luis smiled. He lifted the now-filled needle up to the sun, flicking the tube a couple times to disperse the air bubbles.

After having done this for well over a decade, both men were very well-acquainted with getting their T-Shots done. It was like second nature, they just talked through it like nothing was happening. Surprisingly, that happened a lot during especially difficult missions, too. Luis noted how interesting it was that they’d built such small but meaningful patterns with one-another over time. Giving the side of his stomach a small wipe-down with alcoholic pads (and a kiss for good luck), Luis finally sat up straight on the couch to make do with his offer. Putting a pillow on the floor for support, Leon sat in-between his legs on the floor- leaning forward as slightly as he could as Luis began to rub as gently as humanly possible against Leon’s Compression Binder.

Hearing a long sigh of relief, Luis knew he was doing a good job and kept up the pace. Although it was quite a few years ago now, the Spaniard still remembered what it was like getting Top Surgery for himself. All the stereotypical feelings; pure and utter Euphoria, this sense of freedom he’d never felt in his life, unadulterated joy, etc etc etc- but he also remembered the first few days just being so delicate and sore. As any surgery recovery was bound to be. So giving Leon any sense of relief was the least he could do.

For a little while, they talked about what plans Leon had after he fully recovered. Beaches he’d always wanted to swim at, shirts he’d never worn up until now, etc etc… Luis joked that he was just happy Leon wasn’t fighting zombies in a Binder anymore. That got a painful laugh out of Leon.

After at least a couple minutes of silence (of which Luis was half-convinced Leon had fallen asleep), He heard his lover finally speak;

“…Thank you, for this..”

Luis waited patiently for him to finish his sentence, slowing down the little circles he was making with his hands.

“I mean it, really… I’m really, really glad I have you here”

Luis had to keep himself from going full-toothed smile as he leaned down to kiss the top of Leons’ head.

“Of coarse, mi amor. I know what recovering feels like all too well”

“N-no, I don’t mean that… well, kinda,” Leon began stuttering over his sentence.

“I’m glad you’re helping me with the whole recovery, obviously, but also with just… Everything. The missions, the late nights, all those goddamn zombies… you’ve like, stuck by my side through it all. I never ever thought I’d get a partner, or even somebody to love outside od work but..”

Leon reached his arm over to grasp onto Luis’ hand.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love you a lot”

It took every single damn fiber in his being to Leo Luis from crying.

And even then, he failed. Tears welling up, he could feel his heart being squeezed; he gave up on trying to be conservative and let himself smile from ear-to-ear. Luis leaned down to bury his face in Leon’s hair, sniffling to himself in Spanish; “ Oh mi querido, ¿Qué hice para merecerte? ¿Qué hice para merecerte, huh?”

“Oh shit you’re crying- I’m so, so sorry I didn't-“

“ Cállate, Cállate,” Luis playfully teased, giving Leon a weak whack on the shoulder.

“Y-you, Sancho, are far too kind to me”

Leon turned himself around, laughing at the pure wholesomeness of it all. Luis could feel his calloused hand against his cheek, wiping away tears he didn't even notice were there.

“Sancho? Haven’t heard that in a while”

It was Luis’ turn to laugh now, reaching his hand up to cup the one already on his cheek.

“You’re right. It’s been too long”

Like clockwork, Luis leaned down to lay a kiss on Leon’s lips, cupping the sides of his face with his own hands. The sun through the window must’ve made his skin warm, because his own skin felt uncharacteristically cold. Not that Leon seemed to mind at all, turning his head to the left slightly to get a better position. Luis leaned down as far as he could for him, but when Leon tried to twist his body any further- he broke away from the kiss with a sharp gasp

“ Ow ow ow, ow that hurt-“

“mierda!! Are you alright?-“ Luis was up-and-arms, already tensed and ready to run and grab the ice packs from the freezer, but his shoulders fell in relief when he heard a (slightly pained) laugh from Leon.

“Sorry, sorry!! That just hurt a little”

Luis signed, giving Leon an exaggerated pout.

“Cariño, if you scare me like that again, so help me I’ll.. I dunno yet, but something will happen, I promise you”

That got the blonde to successfully laugh again, which was all he needed to hear. Luis could listen to that man’s laughter like it was background noise all day if it was possible.

“ L-Luis- s-stop making me laugh, please!!”

Leon clutched his side, semi-dramatically

“It hurts!!”

“Weeeeellll, y’know, if you need a doncella to help you massage you….”

“ Stop it!!!”

[rivangel]

Hii! Congrats on starting your transition! ❤️ I hope you don’t find this too intrusive, but I really want to know your story with realizing who you really are and taking the steps to get there? (If that makes sense) and how is testosterone treating you? Also, do you still menstruate?

I ask this with curiosity, love and support 🙂

thank youuu<3 yeah i can :)

//tw gender dysphoria. also this is extremely personal just so yk👍

i knew something was off the second i started puberty hahahahahaha(🥲). i was 9 or 10 and didn't know what being transgender was, so, to be shamelessly honest, i refused to wear panties (i even hate that word honestly) and would just go commando until my mom gave in and got me "boy shorts". aka panties with an extra inch.

i hated the idea of bra. actually it made me sick. i couldn’t fucking stand living in my own skin at that point. despite growing them at 10, i was 12 or 13 before i gave in, but it was sports bras.

however there was a very short timeframe between that and learning about being transgender, so i'd do the double sports bra trick + 38943809 layers until i got a chest binder (which i don't remember how or when😭it might've been a loan from a trans friend when i was 13ish.)

never was a fan of makeup, dresses or long hair. funnily,,,,,, the only reason i got my ears pierced when i was like 8 was so i could get out of shopping for easter dresses.

meanwhile my mom wanted my hair long, but also around 8 or 9 i chopped that bitch. i'd chew on it (anxiety) and not brush it until it was like. all in knots so it would get cut. my mom stopped gaf, but everytime i got a short cut it was the cursed pixie cut most transmascs know too well lol, so i had it in a ponytail all the time. never liked it though

there were a lot of reasons i hated my body with every inch of my being, but i did cover up and layer all the time cuz of gender dysphoria. a core memory is going on vacation to florida in summer and sitting in front of a pool wearing jeans and a fucking black jacket😭like are you kidding me

i didnt rly comprehend being transgender (or lgbtq in general really) until i was 12 or 13. growing up on the internet, it continuously shocked me at that age what problems people had with gay people / queer people in general. it was the same for being trans, but i think i labeled myself straight and cis cuz i was already a fucked up individual with fucked up problems and i didnt want any more, especially one as heavy as being trans.

but it was too agonizing not to bind my chest, and i didnt shave my legs or underarms. i did use a nickname but it wasnt gender ambiguous whatsoever and it sucked.

along the way, while i was in choir, for a performance i had to wear a dress and i tried to shave my legs and put on makeup. when i saw pictures i didnt even know who that was, but it was wrong.

that’s not me.

but it has to be.

it's not supposed to be me.

i think i was 14 going into high school when i was like: pronouns? am i gay? chop all my hair off and be a Boy? yeah, and it helped i found a friend group that was queer.

from the very beginning of that, i was a trans guy. i rly don't remember what changed that? i think mainly my gender was a work in progress so nothing was sticking (they/she, they/he, they/them, and such). i think..... my earliest name.... wassss casper? aidan? lol

i got bullied/shamed out of the first name though. this was the mid 2010s where there was a lottttt of transphobia in the trans community.

i'll explain just in case. there were basically two parties: trannies who thought you needed gender dysphoria to be trans (transmedicalists), and trannies who thought you didn't (tucutes). in the former's opinion, there were "normal" trannies who "didnt make it their whole personality". if you didn't want top and bottom surgery + hormones? if you liked dresses or anything remotely fem? — you weren't trans.

you can probably see immediately how damaging this way of thinking is. a youtuber named kalvin garrah was basically the leader of the transmeds or truscum as they'd go on to be called lol, and i watched him religiously for reasons i can’t remember. youtube was still pretty new and it was hard to find youtubers whose channels was about being trans, and kalvin was always transparent about it from what i remember.

so yeah i got it into my mind that i couldnt be a transman bc i didnt fit exactly a transmed’s idea of what being trans means. i didn’t think i wanted bottom surgery for instance, but i was also FUCKING 15?? in no position to even be thinking about that.... and i also had a trans boyfriend at this point and he wasn’t gay so . that contributed. rip.

and like i first said, i got bullied out of being named casper because other queers and even some trannies thought i was being a "transtrender" which ties into all that.

for the bulk of high school and on (like 5 years) i was pretty firmly nonbinary and went by they/them pronouns. but also, there were a lot of reasons i wasn't in touch with my body and self so i was more or less oblivious, and the gender dysphoria blended in with the general self hatred?

yeah so imagine a super realistic robot coasting through life without any higher awareness. i was (dissociating) simply Not There so much that i don't think my personal problems or me in general ever was something i was cognizant of, let alone concerned about.

so that was me from age 17 to 21. i went by it/its pronouns for a while after something bad that happened, but not much change.

it was kind of a fluke really. as far as my gender went i was like 'yeah i’m okay with this whatever' while being objectively depressed, but i was depressed for so long about it that i became used to feeling helpless. didn't give a fuck about outfits, my body, even my hygiene much, and i hated mirrors.

"""""im okay with this""" yeah ok💀

i can’t even remember why i started testosterone😭i knew a shit ton about it and being trans for several years, so it was just...? spur of the moment...?

it turned out to be so easy it seemed too good to be true, but it wasn't, and i got my T prescription. during the initial appointment i chose to give myself subcutaneous injections on the spot...? i was hesitant about this idea, but perhaps it means something that this was the perfect method for me (compared to gel or intramuscular injections for example). i started on a little higher than average dose.

then my WHOLE world flipped upside down bc even the acne and the voice cracks were incredibly gender affirming. EVERYTHING felt so good and right + i realized there are 0 feminine things i can do/be that i'm anything but uncomfy with.

(not that there can’t be for you, but my experience is extremely binary)

it was jarring to change my gender after identifying as nb for soo long. i almost thought it was because i hated myself and my body, so i was only happy that i was looking different, not that i was looking the way i needed to. i gaslit myself a couple times into thinking i wasn't seeing any changes too lol.

in the first month, my menses stopped, and a lot more changes happened fast lol, like my voice dropping, smells changing and getting stronger, and hair growing.

perhaps within the first two months my mood became majorly destabilized. i already took a lot of psychiatric medications on account of having bipolar type 1, ptsd, and a slew of anxiety disorders lol. but it was then i actually started giving a fuck about THAT, too. as it turns out, getting off some of those meds / lowering my dose made me felt 100% better (like i could actually sleep and think clearly for instance).

and testosterone is still treating me extremely well :)

i mean it when i say every single aspect of my mental health improved extremely in a short span of time. i didn't realize i didn't know what it was to be actually happy or even okay till then.

it's pretty expensive, but it's worth it. so is top surgery which i got super recently.

since starting T, i have been scouring reddit and other forums to learn from others' experiences. that's how i was so prepared for top surgery for the most part. and it felt rly odd for me to read of how some people were/are scared of regretting it, or soon after surgery feeling that way/depressed. because god i'm so happy (not that anyone is wrong for feeling the way i described). i feel so free. of course it's disabling right now, and there's pain, and blood, but that quite literally means nothing to me because my chest is right, now. i didn't underplay it when i said that it has always been the biggest/worst source of my dysphoria. if i got a chance to redo things, i'd do it the moment i turned 18 (if possible sooner).

i am currently in the process of getting my legal name changed / my sex changed on my ID. meaning i need to turn in the request lol. i've put it on hold for now so that i can heal👍

that's everything so far i think. i plan on continuing medically transitioning, prob w/ phalloplasty (meaning, tissue is taken from somewhere else on my body and creates length for a penis + urethra so i can pee while standing up lol). but that'll be when i've been on T for a year (since surgeons generally advise giving the dick a chance to grow as much as possible from T lol).

so yeah :)

[xarrixii]

Chapter_53 : "Parasite"

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CW: mention of negative side-effects scientific experiment archive masterlist | masterlist

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Alph wished they could’ve said they were looking out the window. That they knew where they were, knew the next highway they could cruise down without stopping for traffic.

They felt their hair scratch against their forehead. Could still see echoes of when everything had hit them like a brick, the recluse coming out of its shell.

The itch to call their dad formed a little too hard, and Alph turned their attention back to Afyer, who was humming the Kesha song playing on the radio and interrupted himself to cringe.

“You alright?” Alph lamented, hoping they could stop thinking for the next few hours at least.

Afyer turned the volume down as the song ended and an ad came on. “Yeah. Just this headache. Hasn’t let up yet.”

“You can pull over or park somewhere if you need to. We’re still near enough to the mall, right? We can always just have Mark walk some once he’s done and take over.”

“Nah, I’ll probably be fine. Think it’s just a pseudo-headache anyway.”

The first thing Alph thought of to say back was something they would’ve told Urban on one of his low days. But this was different. Alph wasn’t in the driver’s seat, and Afyer had a different tone.

Alph tried to squeeze out the thought. “What makes you think it’s fake?”

“It’s just a product of one of Storm’s experiments,” Afyer said without hesitation, sparkling with the same enthusiasm this music artist used talking about men and their fingers. “They’re trying to develop something more humane than the normal handcuffs used for kinetic users. You had a special name for them, right?”

“Hand binders?”

“Yeah, those.”

Alph’s heart panged. “What’s more human hand binders got to do with your headache?”

“Storm’s trying to make handcuffs, not binders. Maybe an ankle bracelet? I’m not sure, but they assured me it wouldn’t be like the rehab clinic I went to that one time. They handed me this metal block, and I immediately threw up when I touched it.” Afyer laughed at that, probably stealing a glance at Alph. Which only made Alph realize how agape they must look. “I don’t know what they did. Maybe it’s just a more concentrated version of the meds they give you after rehab when you keep touching the metal, maybe they found a new resource and have to tweak the alloy. Whatever it is, it seems, really cool, and the headache from not being able to connect to my pyrokinesis as long as I touched the metal is gonna be worth it in the long run.”

Alph was silent. Storm created something that blocked someone from their kinetic entirely? A physical thing?

“I thought kinetics were a genetic thing. Like, three genes involved in the process,” Alph said.

“That’s what I thought too. They haven’t told me how yet, probably because I talk too much, but they think they made the concentration too high on this first time, so they’re going to drastically lower it the next time I go in to help test it.” Afyer paused, listening to the radio for maybe five seconds. “Whoops, air quotes around concentration too high, there. I gotta start remembering that.”

“No, you’re good. But that’s…” Alph started thinking about all of the faces they could no longer see, the ones implanted in their brain for almost a decade. Children. Adults. Soup. The little boy who learned to stitch with his mouth. “That’s revolutionary, if they can get rid of the side effects but still have it work. Why wouldn’t Nacht tell me about that, because that’s—” Alph cut themselves off in their own bubbling excitement.

Afyer laughed with Alph. “Maybe he wanted to surprise you.”

Alph turned to stare at where Afyer would be sitting to the left, foot on the gas pedal and gazing forward into the colors Alph could barely make out. “You should probably pull over though. Headache and driving isn’t good.”

next chapter

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aaaawwaaaauuuuaa i'm running out of chapter ideas so it might start feeling rushed soon. sorry for my horrific schedule

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taglist: @lychhiker-writes, @madeoforgansandtissues, @fins0up

[everybodyshusband]

i am the one, lascivious

aether/sunshine (the band ghost)

explicit | m/f | 2k | transmasc aether, transfem sunshine, THEY'RE T4T BABYYYY, oral sex, vaginal fingering, body worship, thighs, porn without plot, porn with feelings

snippet and ao3 link under the cut !!

“Sunnyyyy!” He dragged out her name. “Why’d you stop?”

Sunshine had to bite back a smile at how cute he looked when he was annoyed. His expression twisted into one of petulance as he lay on his back, legs bent with his feet planted steadily on the mattress on either side of her. His arms rested behind his head, providing him with a pillow every time his head fell back from the pleasure of it all. She sat back on her knees, wanting to take in the gorgeous sight of the quintessence ghoul spread out before her and, fuck, was that a good decision. From higher up, she could see the way his eyebrows furrowed and the way his lips turned down into a pout; giving him an adorably confused expression on top of his previous annoyance. She could see just how much his chest was heaving; the way his breaths were shaking with every exhale. She noted the rosy blush spreading from his cheeks all the way down his chest, disappearing under the cream fabric of his chest binder.

“You need to take this off, love?” Sunshine gestured to Aether’s binder.

He shook his head. “I’m good. It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” He nodded, smiling up at her. “Okay. But let me know if that changes, alright? I don’t want you getting hurt, Aeth.”

“Of course.”

“Perfect. I’ll get back to work, then.” She said, relishing in the way Aether’s face lit up, not unlike an excitable puppy. “Do you want my fingers too? Do you want to cum on my fingers before you cum on my clit, love?”

“Yes! Please, Sunny. I wanna cum.” He drew out the last few syllables, making her chuckle softly.

“Patience, Aeth.”

She ran her hand up his sides and arms until she reached his head, her eyes scanning over his body, worshipping it with her sight. She reached a hand out to touch his hair; messy from her previous ministrations and their run through the windy courtyard from Mass to Aether’s room. She ran her fingers through it—making sure not to catch them on any knots—before trailing her hands down his face, dragging her nails gently across his stubble and walking her fingers down and around the area of chest hair that wasn’t covered by Aether’s binder. She moved her hands to his stomach and sides, ghosting reverently over his deliciously soft skin, leaning down to press a kiss to his happy trail and delighting in the slight shudder it elicited from the ghoul above her. She kissed her way down his happy trail until she reached his cock (which she also pressed a kiss too, resulting in a gorgeous moan from Aether) where she skirted around his throbbing—and dripping— cunt, instead choosing to make a beeline for his thighs. Fuck , did she love his thighs. She made sure to tell him as such.

“You do?” He asked, equal parts hopeful and hesitant, almost like he wanted to believe her, but wasn’t quite sure if she was being serious or not.

“Of course I do!” She reassured him, still trailing her hands all over them—taking extra care to brush over the sensitive skin of his inner thighs—and dusting her lips over them with open-mouthed kisses. “I love how they clench against me when I suck you off and lick at that pretty cunt of yours. I love feeling them slap against me when you ride me. Sathanas , I love hearing it too.” She started sucking bruises into the pale skin on the inside of his thighs in between sentences, watching in awe as the marks blossomed and darkened almost immediately after she made them. “I love the way they feel slamming against me when you fuck into me with that strap-on you steal from Cirrus. Shit, I could go on about them forever, Aeth. They’re gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.” Sunshine looked up from where she’d been leaving her gentle bruises to find Aether hiding his face in his hands; his deep crimson blush extremely prominent even half-obscured by his hands.

“‘M not gorgeous.” Aether sounding this flustered and embarrassed shouldn’t be this hot, but Sunshine can’t deny the squirt of slick her clit secretes at the tone in Aether’s voice—that perfect combination of unfathomably turned on but embarrassed by all the attention. “I’m handsome. ” And, oh , the confident way he said that as he pulled his hands away from his face shouldn’t have made her heart flutter and jump like that but, Sathanas Almighty , he was so precious like that; she couldn’t help it.

“You’re very handsome.” She reassured him, gazing up at him lovingly from her place between his thighs. “My handsome ghoul.”

Aether blushed (again) and smiled at her, an equally loving look on his face. “My beautiful ghoulette.”

read it here on ao3!

beta'd by the wonderful @spoiledleaff, i appreciate your help so much, my friend! <3