#all this shit about ‘my friends tried to talk me out of transitioning/surgery’

[fite-club]

it’s still so sad when trans guys are like “transandrophobia is real, i lost my support systems when i started taking T” like i’m sorry baby but that’s just transphobia. they don’t particularly care that it’s a man you’re transing into, it’s the transing at all that makes those people stop being around you. losing friends/etc after transition is not a transmasc-specific experience, it’s a trans-specific experience. i’m not downplaying anyone’s struggles when i say this i’m literally pointing out the systematic oppression you experienced and calling it the correct name

[beanghostprincess]

Modern au trans Ace has been consuming my mind lately so I thought I'll just share all of my headcanons or else I'll explode:

• Sabo was the first person he had come out to. It happened when they were around 9. Ace had always felt that something was "wrong" about him. That the way he acted, his interests and past times, and just how he would do things were "unnatural" or wierd". Once Ace became familiar with the conspet of transgenderism he just opened up to him, and was met with instant support.

• Immediately after this, Sabo gave Ace his (trademark) transgender haircut in the bathroom of Dadan's house. She actually entered it while they were there and upon seeing it she cried out of happyness. (Mothers know everything)

• Coming out to Garp was a bit harder for Ace since he wasn't sure how an older person would have reacted, I mean Garp just left there his grand"daughter" and came back to a grandson after all. But we all know that Garp would never discriminate, and plus now he has another grandson to train.

• Luffy arrived in his life after a full year after he had transitioned, so at first Ace wasn't sure how to exacly explain this to Luffy, but he did manage to open up to him after they officially became brothers. Luffy wasn't just an innocent kid, while he didn't fully understood concepts like transphobia, to him Ace is just his brother so if anyone is mean to him or calls him names he'll just kick their asses.

• Ace had been homeschooled for the 5 years that would have been him attending elementary school. Middle school was the first time he attended an actual school and at first he wasn't open or confident at all and was ready to just beat up anyone who tried to shit talk him.

• Surprisingly he made a few friends. They were mostly just Luffy's friends who were older than him or his friends's siblings, but he appreciated it anyway. His absolute best friend ever tho is Kuina. I hd her as non binary using she/they so its just trans supporting trans, and they also have like a million of other reasons to be friends but those were already pointed out.

• His top surgery was payed by none other than his father Newgate. The Whitebeards pirates would be just this one tatoo shop Ace works at that Newgate he opened after "retiring" from biker gangs and stuff.

• Obbligatory T4T Yamace, but we all already knew this, didn't we?

• Ace gets the best older trans guy advice from Franky. Because to me, he is just what every trans guy aspires to be, cool and hardboiled. And who wouldn't want to get advice from the dude who did his own top surgery in his father's mechanic shop at 15?

These are all from me, but feel free to add your own or elaborate on the ones you like.

Trans Ace is so real to me that I quite literally can't imagine him being cis. It's just so,,, Weird to me. And I absolutely love everything you said. I definitely think Sabo was the first one to know and the one who helped Ace the most with his transition, also telling Garp, who actually is way better (if you can say 'better' when something isn't even 'good' but yeah) at raising boys. At least he understands them better. So I think he wouldn't have a problem with it at all even if he's more on the "I don't really get it that much, kid, but as long as you're happy" type of vibe. I agree with everything,, When he was younger he really didn't interact with many people and usually preferred to be alone. Teachers considered him more of a problematic kid than anything, and always compared him to Sabo with the typical "how are you like this when your brother is just so polite and smart!?" but then Sabo always ends up fighting the teachers for saying that shit in front of the class and Sabo stops being so perfect in their eyes (also he starts rebelling himself a lot against the educational system lmao). And not to talk shit about Garp, but talking shit about Garp I'm sure Ace would get in trouble a lot and Garp wouldn't show up to the meetings with Ace's teachers. That only makes Ace feel lonelier and everyone thinks he's extremely troubled. When he's literally a sweetheart to both Sabo and Luffy,, When he meets Luffy's friends, he starts to open up to people. He still gets in a lot of trouble, honestly, but that's just him. I think his classmates find out about him being trans, of course, and not a lot of people are okay with that. He truly wants to fight them but he knows that if he keeps going like this he'll get expelled and he doesn't like the idea of leaving Sabo and Luffy alone ('doesn't like the idea' meaning he almost gets expelled and Sabo had to scold him and tell him that even though he has his own friends he doesn't know what he would do without him in school), so Luffy and Sabo are usually the one defending him a lot of the time since the teachers, even though they're chaotic, don't really hate them (because look at those cutie patooties how could you hate Luffy???? He gets along even with teachers). The Whitebeard pirates accept him with open arms and he finally feels he has a place to belong to. Newgate doesn't even offer to pay for the surgery, he just pays without telling him first because he knows Ace wouldn't have let him do it otherwise. He's so so grateful for them. And his brothers. And his friends. And everybody that has ever supported him. I think that he has lots of issues with depression and self-image and he often has a hard time when he acts impulsively, but Newgate always helps him. He grounds him. Gives him something to focus on. And Franky is soooo fun to be around. Newgate tells him to go see Franky and give him the money he owes him, and that's how they meet, basically. It's obvious he's trans because he goes shirtless all the time and scars are there and everything... And Ace just has to ask about his experience. Franky helps him gladly. And it's not only cathartic but also very comforting. He also meets Robin there!!!! Because married Frobin in this one. And I think Ace would absolutely love her because she keeps being oh so nice to him. She kind of reminds him of Makino, and it's extremely sweet. I think Ace now goes to help Franky from time to time when the Tattoo shop doesn't really need him there or, well, whenever he wants to because he also is extremely interested in bikes.

T4T Yamace my beloved.... Guys being guys. Dudes being dudes. I think they meet because Newgate tells Ace something about this man Kaido (leader of a gang) who owes him lots of money or something or did something very nasty to him yadda yadda Maybe they just have beef from when Newgate was into the gang stuff. And Ace keeps saying he should go and settle things with Kaido and beat him up for that, but Newgate is retired and he really, really doesn't give a single fuck about it. Lmao. Ace says he could take down Kaido himself. Newgate laughs. Ace is too proud. So he ends up looking for Kaido and fighting Yamato late at night in the street and,, Well. You know how it goes. They become daddy issues besties and turns out Yamato does not want to follow his dad's steps. Ace is curious about Yamato's experience because he doesn't seem to want to have surgery or anything, and they keep bonding over their pasts and family and Yamato ends up joining the friend group. And it's so cute. Newgate can see the kid is in love because every day he waits for Yamato to come pick him up to hang out. Or maybe he begs to get out earlier to go see Yamato. He keeps talking about Yamato,,, All the time. Even Sabo and Luffy are done with him. It's endearing.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA This is just so good. Modern Au my absolute beloved.

[rrcenic]

i think i might be trans sooo

how did you know for sure ??(( sorry if this question is kinda awkward..))

not an awkward question at all!!

so. i first came out as a lesbian when i was 11. after that, i got to know more queer folks and started playing around with pronouns

i went through. a lot of pronouns in those two years.

i seriously have pins that say she/her, she/they, they/she, any, they/them, they/he, he/they, and finally he/him.

my deadname was bella, and i changed it to bell when i still used some form of she, then to galen for a bit, then finally arsen.

(i go by nic on here not because my actual name is a secret but because i really like being called nic, and even though i’ve asked for people to use both irl they just stick with arsen. which is okay ig but i just wanted a space for that name in my life)

every time i tried a new less fem set of pronouns i felt happier?? and like so much better with myself??

like, i needed to take that time to adjust. being trans is scary and sometimes you gotta ease into it!

i realized i was a binary trans man when i got my first covid shot at age 12. it was one of those drive-up things and the man dealing with the paperwork said to my mom “so your son, is he getting the shot too?” (talking about me)

at the time i used he/they pronouns. but like. not rlly “son” or “boy.” and i’d certainly never been called a guy in public

but it just. it felt so right. and i felt comfortable with myself.

i think i also eased into it to spare my family the large adjustment. it’s so much easier for cis allies to remember they/them pronouns than to change from she to he or he to she or any to neopronouns. it takes time

i had been asking to start t since i started using they/them at age 11. i started t about 7 months ago and it’s been. so fucking amazing

my voice has dropped so much, i’ve started getting a little bit of facial hair, and my jawline is changing. i just feel so much more comfortable in my body and with myself.

so yeah. don’t be afraid to try shit out. you’ll know when you’ve found what feels right as far as it comes to labels, pronouns, and medical treatments. the priority is feeling joyful and comfortable with yourself and your body

and i know how easy it is to feel shame. to doubt yourself because you don’t fit the classic trans narrative.

if you don’t want every surgery, if you don’t mind people using your old pronouns, if you don’t feel like coming out, or if you need to ease yourself into it, then do just that. listen to yourself

one example i use is my aunt’s friend, a trans woman in her late 50s or so. she is still in the transitioning process. her old name was like mike or something and her new name is maddison or something. her goal is to go by maddison, but for now she goes simply by m. it lets her adjust and transition at the pace she wants

sorry this took a couple days to get to, i kept starting it and then forgetting to save it and deleting it 😭😭😭

and to whoever this anon is: please dm me if you have any more questions or just need to talk. i’m happy to be a support <333

[n04hfiction]

Hi hi! This is just a silly little match up request. Wilbur or Quackity are definitely preferable if that’s alright <33

Appearance: I’m a trans guy (he/him), about 5’6 and on the more slender side, not like super skinny but just a slim little guy. I’m pre top surgery but I am on hormones so I have a raspier voice and it cracks all the time, which embarrasses me to death. I’m fair skinned with curly, medium brown hair that’s short on the sides and long on top. My eyes are light brown, almond shaped and I have long lashes. I’ve got freckles on my face and shoulders and I sometimes enhance them with a little bit of makeup or henna. I always wear bracelets and I love big sweaters and band shirts.

Personality: I’m very extroverted. I’ll talk to anyone about anything for any reason and I’m great at meeting people. I don’t always attract the nicest friends though and usually end up in some not great friendships. I’m adventurous and love a good adrenaline rush, height, rollercoasters, questionably legal activities, anything for the dopamine hit. I’m happy to be in crowds, concerts, conventions etc. I’m always trying to do something new but I don’t have much faith in my abilities, my projects usually end up half finished or left in the drafts.

Hobbies: I play guitar or try to anyway and I’ll spend hours hunched over my acoustic or electric trying to get my fingers just right. I collect vinyls and love to sprawl out in bed or on the floor just listening to the music. Travel and concerts are big loves as well. The energy and excitement is everything to me. I write sporadically, songs, poetry, stories but I usually end up getting insecure and ditching the project.

Love Languages: I’m a romantic at heart quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch are my favorites. Being told I’m doing a good job or that my partner is proud of me is everything. I love soft touches, caresses, having my hair played with. It’s nice to just feel quietly loved through simple gestures.

yooooo fellow transmasc?! heyyyaaaa!! i ship you with quackity :)

y’all are chaotic little shits together, it’s almost scary LMFAO

quackity always tries to help you in terms of your transition and all, although sometimes he needs a bit of guidance cuz he doesn’t get it

quackity also tries to guide you in terms of friends, becuz he doesn’t want ya stuck in some toxic web

quacks also loves to run his fingers thru ur hair, especially cuz it’s curly lol

he also tries to teach ya guitar!!

quackity always tries to encourage you to finish your projects all the way through, he’ll even help ya if you need

[bananitryithegoatman]

This is horrible and i am really scared.

My family and i (four people) are planning to fly to Germany to try get an asylum there.

Russia is currently about to pass a law that would prohibit trans people medical transition, surgeries and change of documents with NO EXCEPTION. Recently they also passed a law that prohibited any "LGBT propaganda" amongst ANY PEOPLE, not just children now, what they describe as propaganda is vague but taken everything that would include even mentioning your sexuality or gender identity to anyone. They also are talking about opening "Center of studying LGBT's behavior" which is literally, and i'm quoting, would be directed on conversion therapy.

I'm already used to get harassed getting outside, every time, people point at me, laugh, call me names, verbally assault me, once a person tried to fight me for "looking like a f*ggot", and even if i try to do something about it - i can't go to police because here they treat queers like shit. it's almost impossible to find an apartment to rent due to my passport's gender mark not looking like how i look right now, and even if i tried to find a side job besides being an artist i WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO because even tho legally no-one is allowed to deny me work based on my gender, practically - it's a lie, and it's more shameful to hire a trans person than to deny them. And i KNOW that every bad thing i face due to how supported transphobia in this country will multiply when they pass that law, and i don't know if that's just it, there's no guarantee that they won't, perhaps, say that everyone diagnosed F64 must go to their "LGBT behavior study clinic" :) I feel like my life, the lives of my family, is under a threat here. I am GENUINELY afraid to go out alone and i am afraid to leave them go out alone because i never know what's gonna happen to them, i feel like at any moment when i'm not hiding, when i'm just out for groceries there's always a chance for me to get harassed again or even get beaten. I see how people look at me and i see they wish me dead.

I'm certain there will be more laws like this and therefore it's not safe for any of us to stay. If i believed that maybe things get better - now i see they'll get worse.

In september we'll be heading to Germany to seek asylum, we'll try to get refugee status. Me, my partner, my friend and his partner. If we stay - we'll die, either by someone's hands or by ours and no one here would know cause this shithole country doesn't take a crap.

Fly tickets per person is $383 My income as an artist is only around $600, $1000 AT BESTa month. rent + bills is $250. $350 left is spent on food and necessities, i simple won't be able to afford the plane tickets for four people. We contacted all LGBT organisations in Russia that could help us get the tickets, but we're not the only ones who's trying to leave, so i don't know if they'll even respond.

We'll need to collect $1532 to get out of here. PLEASE if you can, help us get out of here, it's really not safe.

Even a dollar or a share of our situation would be of help.

[starcolle-archive]

I've been thinking about Sex Reassignment Surgery a lot lately, and that's been causing me to think just as much about how you promised to help fund my transition, which is a big reason why I held off on hormones; which lead to my major mental breakdown where you ghosted me to go on a post-breakup date, and you kicked me out of your life when I tried to apologize for said breakdown behavior. (Why do you think I'd want an apology for our "relationship" when my definition of love for you has always been based off of your desire to match Corinthians???)

Anyways, as such, I often think about how you tried to use the prospect of our potential children to guilt me into taking you back, and gxd, in hindsight alongside telling me I've got a black heart & how I made you want to drive yourself off the midbay bridge, that's a horrible set of things to wave in someone's face ...and yet I miss you every day. Even though it'd be better, possibly healthier, for us to be more like sisters -- hence the happy new years message I sent your snapchat -- I still wonder what our kids adorable faces would've looked like. We would've had some pretty gorgeous kids, ngl.

It's unfortunate that a constant parallel thought is how I just never wanted Our children to have to overhear their grandmother treat you poorly; or any of the negative comments I can imagine she'd make about me ad nauseum. It's weird having nothing but love for a person who as far as I know hated me. I digress, because I'll always stand by wanting to know her just like I want to understand you deeply.

But this is all a moot point; even if we were in each other's lives, right? Just like all the times I helped calm you down when your anxiety freaked you the fuck out thinking you were magically pregnant. (But especially the main time it "happened.") Anyways, I hope your new partner cherishes the prospect of possibly parenting your children. If you even want kids still. That's the funny part of wanting to know you, as I don't know if you even want children anymore.

Fuck, I miss my best friend. Galpal? Sister? I don't fucking know; all I know is I miss your stupid face & brilliant mind. I really wish we could get high and talk all our shit out, fam. Edibles are legal now after all lol.

[givelifetoaworld]

bored so i’m just bitchin

lately i’ve been trying to lean into being a helper and trying to motivate strangers when i see that they are down, because i had always wished that someone would have done that for me. in my past, if just one person had intervened with me, things would have been different. it’s also good conversation practice to be empathetic.

but - and maybe it’s just a difference in the times already and the way our social media sites operate on attention given vs how they did back in the early 2010s - it feels like… most people i reach out to absolutely reject help, resources, etc. and i just don’t understand why anyone would make a post asking for help if they didn’t actually mean it.

i hang out on a couple of transmasc subreddits, and there are a lot of teens that are venting out their angst who like to have reassurance which is really easy to offer - but there’s also a LOT of grown adults who are asking for help with what are really easily achievable things. when i see a 20-something transmasc expressing suicide ideation over dysphoria and specifically wanting to medically transition, i like to offer to help them to find a provider and talk about what that would look like. in my experience almost all of them choose to actually fight people offering help, or they avoid answering basic questions. then they come back and make another post with the same “i’m gonna kill myself” bs, which... there’s always more to the story for sure when an adult behaves like that on a largely public forum and not just like, on their own account somewhere, but i just think about the effect it has on the teens who are browsing those communities to see suicidal adults refusing help that they asked for!

and god, i’ve started blocking people daily. it’s a bummer. there’s just so much rampant negativity that it is, once again in yet another way, pushing me away from wanting to engage with other transmascs… and i really just want a little bit of connection with other people who have experienced the same shit i have.

the other day another whole adult expressed the really bad dysphoria they were experiencing, and i commented because it was really similar to how i had felt in the past and tried to reassure them that they weren’t alone and it would get better - and i got a response from this person telling me to fuck off and that they’re going to kill themself because i “assumed they weren’t too poor and fat for top surgery” (literally did not say anything about weight, just said something about things getting better if they choose to get top surgery one day). like it just felt so rude and unnecessary to someone offering kindness and a little bit of hope.

i feel like there is a, for lack of better terms, “jealousy” problem in trans communities too - where people further along in their transition are competition rather than an example of what to look forward to. basically the reason i’m bitching is that i feel like i do not fit in anywhere i want to and i’m tired of trans people just wanting to fight each other and i’m highly envious of people who have good transmasc friends

[incarnateirony]

Still lmfao cannot get over amc bitch boy, now it's his turn to live rent free in MY head but for the opposite reason. He felt "awkward" or "uncomfortable" through it like any side bob cut karen in the grocery line and did his shit. I'm just sitting here fuckin. laughing. Then again, I saw his pic pre-transition, he literally, I shit you not, had the blonde karen bob. No amount of scalpels or T has managed to cut the Karen out of him. Karen(gn)

2 years. He and theirs have been, along with her, repeating her malicious lies on every available thread or DM on the internet, sociopathically lying to and picking apart friend groups like hyperobsessive freaks, bringing it up in the most random ass places nonstop and in upside down universe interpretation of reality. I fuckin PEEP 2 years later the gods honest truth of her chasing out my friends and them voicing relief that the insufferable bitch is gone and they can have me back and in comes the cuck brigade screaming DONT TALK ABOUT HER.

No see, I was just gonna like, make a few lulz posts about it. But now, buddy, now we're gonna fuckin talk about her. If you thought "lol oh my god there's an entire server glad the cunt is gone" 2 years later is bad, wait until I decide to do two years of nonstop public revelations of the garbage she has done in comparison timelines and shit, just when I get bored and have the time and fucking feel like it, because you're that big of a bitch.

I do what I want. It's baby rich white girl bitch stuff to complain about Uncomfortable or Awkward to control conversations, much less your victim posing garbage. So now? Now no. Now my blog gets to be "all the reasons shea was a transphobic, abusive, people-using, lying, cheating whore: a blog" when I feel like it.

Waving pomoms because it's socially acceptable in your club doesn't erase the years of verbal bitchings I took that completely shut me down to the point I needed goddamn therapy to unpack the bullshit she put in my head. Not even like, a year before we broke up she was out there like, YEAH, GET 'EM ROWLING and MY CLIT SWELLS UP TOO I DONT SAY I'M A DUDE while fucking pressing send on "YAY, TOP SURGERY" in your fucking chats.

Know when to leave well enough alone, chud. That was the dumbest bitch shit you could have done. And the most balless, even in trans proverbial ways. Now I'm talking. Because you tried to be a spoiled little girl demanding what someone can talk about on a blog you patrol years later. Deal with it, because I promise you, I am the least of issues with other men your behavior will cause. One of these days your whiny bitch shit will get your face run over someone's floor until the ugly beard rips out with your teeth when you try this shit on someone else. Let's not pretend you're even capable of defending her like I was. Or you wouldn't have peed yourself at something you imagined in your own head. Hell, you can't even protect her from herself. (Source: your bank account.)

[cyrusstarchaser]

Ok, I just have to tell someone this cause I can't stop thinking of it so sorry every one. Ok, so I have two statics: My ulit group and my savage group. My ulti group is made up of my friends and peers and, because this is FFXIV, is made up mostly of POC and/or queer people. It's actually been ages since I raided in a group that was majority cishet white man, I would wager the last time was Stormblood. Also for non-FFXIV players a static is a raid group, static is just our word for it. Well all that said my current savage group is pretty heavily weighted towards cishetwhitemenness, but, well, that is part of my current problem.

Now, I play FFXIV themed DnD with some people from a past ulti group. One person (who I have never raided with but is friends with some of my friends) heard that I needed a savage group. (The reason I needed a savage group was because my friends had a lot of irl issues so we flew solo for savage and I also had my bottom surgery coming up) ANYWAY, this miqo'te woman was like "Hey Niam, my FC has a casual group that is looking for a phys ranged" and when I talked to them they were ok with me being gone for surgery and also playing with one arm, so I joined up. I'm still with them even though I've healed because A) it's not like I have an open invitation to a better group and B) I mean...it was nice of them to let me join even knowing that I was going to be playing one armed and drugged for months.

Ok, SO: We're playing DnD and the miqo'te woman is asking after the static and I'm trying not say that I am leaving the first chance I get but also sorta making it clear that this will be my one and only tier with them.(literally if this post gets a single like I might start just being all 'dear diary you'll never FUCKING believe this' because these guys are fucking WILD) She brings up the samurai player in the savage static. For context the SAM player has never, to my knowledge, used a mic. Real chatterbox in text, but I've never heard her speak.

So miqo'te woman asks me what I think about that and I say my piece in regards to like, ya know. I can think of a dozen reasons why someone wouldn't use a mic. I've raided with people who had accents or lisps they were ashamed of, I've raided with people mid transition, raided with people with loud families. Hell, the savage static said that the SAM had Tourette Syndrome and I'll be honest: I don't know if they were pulling my leg but...it's not my place to doubt that. The SAM is refereed to as a woman and that's final. ANYWAY, miqo'te woman goes "My partner and I have a rule: If you never speak in discord, then you're a man" and I was so flabbergasted I think the DM sensed it through the mic and tried to change subject at mach speed.

Yall...I'm trans, the miqo'te woman I was talking to is trans and I am like 80% sure her partner is also trans. LIKE??? How you gonna say that? How are YOU gonna say THAT about HER, ya know??? And she's like "Yeah, no, all that stuff you said but like...she's a guy right? Like c'mon" and it's like GURL. Bless my buddy the DM for understanding I was about to go off on this catgirl, bless. Hanging out with those Gamer Boys has CLEARLY rotted this woman's brain I stg This woman out here trying to get me to play Gotcha Gender with her, like I'm gonna be down for that wtf

Anyway this is why I can't socialize cause people will say some real Dumb Shit and then I'll bluescreen.

[ringneckedpheasant]

u got any trans anders headcanons? 👀

OH BOY DO I EVER.... i also just have a lot of thoughts abt medical transition in thedas.... please forgive me for turning this into an absolute essay lmao

i think it’s reasonable to think that even if they’re not commonplace, some form of hormonal treatments would be available—naturally derived estrogen has been used for quite literally thousands of years, and would at least be available for trans women like Maevaris. i haven’t been able to find much on the history of testosterone usage before like the 1800s, but i don’t think it’s that far-fetched to think that that’s a development that could’ve happened within anders’ lifetime or even before, especially since we’re talking about a world where like. magic is a thing and herbalism is widely practiced. Krem seems to indicate that there are magical methods of transition, though iirc it was implied to be through blood magic (that, or Krem has an aversion to any kind of magic being used on him)

as far as surgical procedures go i don’t think there would be much available? at least not for trans men, which is part of the reason i drew anders as not having had top surgery, but looking like he’d been on t. which i think he would be, though i don’t think he would’ve started until late into adulthood.

my thoughts abt like. the timeline of his life are always kind of nebulous and subject to change but i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the subject of his name. i don’t envision his parents as being particularly accepting, at least not his father. maybe part of the reason he never disclosed his name when sent to the circle was in the hopes that no one would find out what it was—even being called Anders, as weird and dehumanizing as it would’ve been, might’ve been preferable to being called his dead name. i think a lot about the way that Anders’ name changed when everything else in his life did, and that both of those things happened as a direct result of being rejected by his family.

when he was sent to the circle at 12 i think he could’ve reasonably passed as a boy without much effort, though it would’ve gotten harder as he got older if he didn’t have access to hormones. i think it’s safe to assume based on interactions with Krem that knowledge of trans people, and respect towards them, isn’t something that’s commonly found outside the Qun (and perhaps Rivain or Antiva—but certainly not in Fereldan, or Orlais, or the Free Marches. yes i am still mad about Sera’s transphobic dialogue if you bring her to the winter palace). Anders’ absolutely miserable transition to living in the circle probably would’ve been made worse by adults in charge not understanding or respecting him.

I like the idea of Karl being the first person to accept Anders without question, to try to help him find information about other people like him with the limited resources they would have in the circle. there’s not a lot of canon information about Karl’s life, but 1) i think he and Anders met fairly young, maybe as soon as Anders got to the circle and 2) maybe by chance, Karl knew someone else like Anders—a sibling, a friend, maybe an aunt or an uncle.

his time in the wardens may have been better than his time in the circle, wrt gender. my HoF is a mage, and i imagine that even if he didn’t remember anders particularly clearly, he would’ve been Aware of him—people gossip, especially, i imagine, when confined like that. my surana is a nice boy however and would’ve tried to ensure that no one in the wardens gave Anders any shit over being trans.

by the time he ends up in Kirkwall, i think he would pass fairly well. and while he is absolutely dirt poor, i think by this time he would’ve found the resources to start some kind of hrt. he probably wouldn’t have regular access to it, and just going off my own experiences, this would’ve been something that made transition a slow process. it’s filled with constantly feeling like he’s taking a step back whenever he goes off it, when his progress halts, when his period starts up again, when he’s subject to awful mood swings from unstable levels of hormones (i also think Anders is bipolar, and i imagine some aspects of that would be exacerbated by being Hormonal)

by the time he meets Hawke and the rest of them, i think he would’ve sort of plateaued—after years of HRT, even inconsistently, he would be able to pass as a man without much difficulty. some things, like facial hair, simply do not go away even if you stop taking t.

i Do, however, think that Fenris would clock him. in an ideal world this would be because he is t4t and like recognizes like, but even if that weren’t the case, I think Fenris would be the most likely out of any of them to know about trans people—I may be mistaken about the timeline here but I *think* that Maevaris would’ve come out before Fenris left Tevinter? Fenris likely had at least passing knowledge of her, maybe even met her while accompanying Danarius if she had assumed her father’s position as a magister. my understanding is that Mae is literally the first trans woman ever to have a seat in the magisterium, and that it was a Big Fucking Deal to a lot of people. it would make sense for Fenris to know about her. also!! fenris spent time on Seheron with the fog warriors and it seems extremely likely that he would’ve met people who were aqun-athlok while there.

my point with all of this is that 1) Fenris would likely know Anders was trans even if he himself wasn’t and 2) as much as they hate each other, I think there’s no way that Fenris would out him. he refuses to hand Anders over to the templars, and I think he would know how dangerous being outed to the wrong people would be. (my thoughts are of course heading in a fenders direction, and I’m thinking about Fenris disclosing to Anders that he knows, and their shared transness being the first step in realizing that they have more in common than they would otherwise think.... in learning to understand and empathize with one another... g-d.)

that is the extent of my serious thoughts about this for now, it took me a half an hour to type this up on my phone and i hope at least one person finds reading it worthwhile lmao

(less serious thought: Anders and Fenris should have t4t sex in the back of Anders’ clinic <3)

[springsaladgaming]

ahhh i just read the update and ALEX???? i had two other characters on my list of suspected powereds, but somehow wasn't expecting them at all. seriously looking forward to them and the mc sitting down to talk through that shit, and getting to know more about the extent of their powers

as for a lil feedback on your gender questions! (tried to keep it short but it's a lil long, apologies) for Q#1 the current version is fine, but "realized my identity" sounds comfier to me personally and seems like it'd cover more possible situations. Q#2 i think you've got it perfect as-is, with specific gender identity being unspecified for simplicity and to avoid excluding any identities. if you were gonna take the time to make any changes, i'd actually be more interested in seeing a brief mention of how the mc has/is/wants to transition when it can be slipped in unobtrusively, ie: undressing for the shower at ansel's, mc looks down in disbelief at their bloodied chest, the skin underneath still somehow [completely unblemished]/[unmarked aside from the scars from their top surgery]/[something that makes sense for not having top surgery but wanting it idk]. doesn't even have to be something that comes up later, just some nice lil flavor.

last but not least, thanks so much for sharing your writing with us! your story and these lovely characters brighten my day 💜💜💜

Thanks so much for the kind words! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the update!

I have probably said this before, so maybe I'm just repeating myself here, but one of the definite big themes of the story is secrets, and there are more than a few characters holding on to some. But the secrets between MC and their friends and family (minus the people they meet in the course of the story) will inevitably carry quite a bit more weight, including the ones MC chooses to keep from others. The upcoming conversation with Alex, for instance, is going to unfold quite differently if you chose not to tell them about your powers in ch5.

And, man, I can't wait to see how people feel about █ ███████ █████ ███████ when they learn ███ ████ ██ █████ █████ ██████ █████ ██.

In this way, Chapter 6, once it is complete, is likely to be the biggest pivotal point in the story, because it is also the chapter where most of the big secrets come out.

Also, thank you so much for your feedback on the gender questions! It always helps to have additional perspectives. Like, honestly, I didn't even think about the opportunity with the MC showering at Ansel's house (which is surprising since I feel like a decent number of IFs incorporate the choice in this way). That's a pretty perfect spot to specify choices about transition without it feeling blocky and forced. I'm already thinking of ways to include this seamlessly with a combination of a cycling choice and a link choice that I think should cover those perspectives well.

Thank you so much!

[maverickcalf]

3, any ship you want!

I woke up in a very trans mood, so we are gonna get some Trans Ethan along with a soulmate au. Some Jack x Ethan, Ethan x Julia But end game Benthan.

TW Internalized Transphobia and Self Harm. Like a good amount of self harm. Please send angst/whump dialogue prompts

3. “Your arm looks…weird.”

Ethan Hunt had always wished for a world without soul marks. Well maybe not always, maybe since he could vocalize that he was his parents’ son and not their daughter. From then on every day he had before he turned 18 was both a blessing and a curse.

Sure, he couldn't transition beyond his parents correcting folks and dressing differently. But at least there wouldn't be a mark burning into his arm, a promise there was someone out there for...was it even for him. Or for a past shadow that never existed?

When he woke up on his 18th birthday with the soul mark on his left forearm. Must mean his soulmate has theirs on their right arm. That's normally what happened, it was like a puzzle piece in that regard. What Ethan hated most about his soul mark was it was actually lovely. A tall plant growing out of a top hat, the trunks intertwining with each other a heart craved into each one. A white butterfly resting on the top.

Ethan had seen so many soul marks that just had people’s names and a heart but this... this was designed by someone in the heavens. And Ethan hated it. That the universe did this for him and didn’t even have the courtesy to give him the body he knew he should be in?

Still his parents were pleased, giving him compliments, saying how beautiful the butterfly was, and they took many pictures of it and then he was off to college, where he was alone, and the hate began to boil.

He was never sure why he decide to first take a knife to it. All he knew is his match would be better off without dealing with all his complexities, without knowing him.

But he went too far, his friend noticed. Sarah noticed after a month, and convinced him that if he really hated it that much he should just cover it and not do something so awful. Really Ethan was just thankful she didn’t report him, he could get suspended for something that drastic, maybe even sent away. Sure he still had to wash it and see it then, but it got better.

Then Ethan met Jack. Now Jack’s soul mark were several electrical wires intertwined to make a heart, his was on his right arm. But Jack was different, he didn’t seem to care about soul marks.

“The way I see it, is a soul mark just shows us who we are most compatible with. Five plus Five may equal ten, but there are many ways to equal ten. The marks are just the most balanced number.”

And it made sense to Ethan, and for the first time in years he felt at peace, he didn’t have to force himself into any box or think about be with someone who expected him to be a certain way. He could just enjoy life. And Life did include Jack, for a time. He even stopped hiding his mark for a few years, he didn’t care that their marks didn’t match. They worked well together, and that’s what mattered.

After he lost everyone, Ethan did relapsed. Thankfully not for long, but it scared him. He covered it up again. He had a few dates and loves after that, but nothing too serious until Julia.

Her mark was a standard heart but instead of in the center had a blood red ruby in the center and the heart was silver not anything in a red tone. Julia was very different than Jack. True, she didn’t care that they didn’t match. The only thing that worried her was the scars the littered his arm. But she loved to study the symbolism of the marks and wished she could have seen it when it was not covered in marks of his self-hatred.

One call to his Uncle later and he acquired his old photos of his mark. He decide to not show Julia any photos where you could see his face or his body, he wasn’t on T or had any sort of surgery, and those parts hurt to see as well.

“I love the butterfly. That’s a male checkered white.”

“Huh? Is it?” Ethan shrugged, “Must mean my match is a guy.”

“Hmm, maybe. But that butterfly is more local to your neck of the woods. I think it is meant to represent you.”

He knew Julia had meant to reassure him, but that made him angry again. Why would his mark label him as male and yet he was born the way he was. It made him hide it again.

Losing Julia to his job was the final straw. He was going to get rid of this thing. Love was pointless, especially for him, having a soul mate was a risk, for him and...whoever matched him. He wasn’t going to take that risk.

When he was done trying to burn it off, it was barely recognizable. Just a vague shape of colors, but the butterfly still was noticeable. But burning it off more in prison wasn’t really a choice. So he just avoided looking at it, hid it again, but now with the reason that no one wanted to see his burn marks, the guards all found it awful to look at it, they gave him a large armband and basically forced him to wear it. Fine by him.

But in all the chaos of the mission after being broken out of jail, he had forgotten to hide not only his marks but his burns. And when he enter the room without it all conversion stopped, all three of their eyes were fixed on his left forearm. Shit.

Benji of course was the first to speak up, “Your arm looks…weird.” Ethan swallowed, he didn’t expect Benji to say it like that, and it hurt more than he thought it would. Benji had always looked up to him but now he could see what sort of man he really was. God, the pained look in his eyes, Ethan couldn’t handle it; he looked away and quickly rolled down his sleeve despite the heat.

“It’s nothing.” He said flatly, trying to indicate through his tone he didn’t want to continue this conversation. 

“Nothing, sure.” Brandt frowned, “Like we are supposed to believe that.”

“Just like we are supposed to you are just an analyst.” Ethan said back sharply. “Who are you Brandt, really?” ---

Despite everything, they made it through. The whole team. But he should've known there would be some changes. They saw, they saw what he did to himself, but none of them spoke to him directly. But they did keep a close eye on him. Good. He didn’t try to do anything again, after all his team was counting on him, knowing they were watching did stop him.

It wasn’t until he was alone with Benji in Vienna did he hear anyone ask about it.

“Ethan, your arm-?” Ethan turned to look at a very nervous Benji, all his confidence from early had seemed to vanish. Still Ethan said nothing, waiting for Benji to say more. “Is that where your mark- was?”

Ethan let out a laugh that was much more bitter in tone than he intended, “It’s still there somewhat, despite everything.”

“Can I see it?” Ethan blinked, he wasn’t expecting that. Still he took off his jacket and rolled up his left sleeve for Benji. He tried to remain relaxed as Benji’s traced his fingers along the outline of the mark, despite the burns making a lot of it indistinguishable. What was something was when Benji rubbed his thumb over where the hearts were on the trunks of the tree, they had been gone for years; How did Benji-?

“Benji?” Ethan asked softly, his heart was racing. Was this really happening?

“I would ask if you miss it but-” Benji bit his lip, “It’s pretty evident you hate it.”

“I just thought...” Ethan swallowed, “I thought my match would be better off, safer without me in their life” Ethan looked into Benji’s eyes, “But...turns out, he is staying...? Right?”

Benji felt his cheeks burn, “How did you know?”

Ethan shrugged, “Just following a hunch.” His face broke out into a smile. After all these years, his friend had been his match the whole time. There were still some hurtles but.. but.. Ethan’s smile faded. There was one major hurtle. Ethan pulled his arm back, rubbing his forearm “B-benji. There is something you... you should know, about me.”

“I know you don’t believe in soulmates, but-” Benji said, Ethan could tell he was trying to hold himself together.

“I am trans. I am a trans man.” Ethan said before he could talk himself out of it. Benji’s eyes widened. “I was always afraid, that, my match would expect someone else. Not Ethan but-”

“I am not expecting anything.” Benji cut him off, “I wouldn’t want you to force yourself into a relationship with me! It’s just a mark on an arm, not legally binding.”

“Do you want to...be in a relationship with me? Even after learning I am trans and how...” He let out a soft chuckle, “How much I hated myself?”

“...Yes. I do.” Benji smiled softly. Ethan smiled back.

There would be time to talk later but for now all they needed was each other. They fell asleep in each other’s arms, Ethan’s thumb gently rubbing the white butterfly on Benji’s arm. His parents were right, it was beautiful.

[gingerequinoxe]

First time I ever really make a post about it, well first time I ever really make a post at all, but I don’t know where to talk about it I don’t even know how I can talk about it. So here is my rant lol idk if there are ppl out there who can relate to that. This might not be perfect I’m French and tired lol.

I used to live as a trans man for a year and a half, and a bit more than one year ago (summer 2020) I realized it didn’t feel right anymore and decided to retransition. I know identify and live as a butch lesbian, and I use he/him and she/her pronouns, I mean I don’t really care (there’s no neutral pronouns in my language so yeah there’s that).

At the time I met a girl who quickly became a crush, then since it didn’t work out we decided to stay friends. We were super closed and we talked a lot, she was there for me and I was always there for me too. We both were in a difficult part of our lives ; she was facing so much violence because of her transition, and I at the time felt so unlovable. We trauma bonded a lot, that I admit. Few months later, I felt her drifting away for our friendship. I don’t know what happened : maybe it was work, maybe it was the fact that I met someone who’s now my lover. But it’s like she didn’t give me the time of the day, she didn’t wanna hang out with me anymore or talk about things that were going on in her life. I felt more and more abandoned and started to panic, bombing her with my anxiety and my friendship via text messages. I know I shouldn’t have done that, but I did my best at the time. Eventually we had a big fallout last July, and we took a two months break to think. We were supposed to have a coffee by the end of august to talk things.

That’s Hen started to act suuuuper weird. She was always posting super insulting things about butch lesbians on Twitter, especially on butches who were taking T or used to be taking T. She also was super critical of people who were dating people like me, she kept on making fun of Leslie Feinberg, pretending they were just « a man who thought they were a lesbian ». She also targeted my girlfriend, who is a femme lesbien, telling people she was a chaser and that she fetishized me.

We had few conversations about this and she told me she thought of me as just a straight trans man who didn’t wanna be perceived as such. She said I was just full of cissexism, and that I feared that I might loose my lover if I said I was a man. She made fun of me for that, saying I was a coward, that I was delusional. She even said that to me the night before my top surgery, telling me it was a proof I was just a man who didn’t want to leave lesbian spaces.

Problem is, I don’t pass as a man, I don’t wanna pass as a man, I don’t wanna be a man. I just hate my tits and got rid of them. I explained many times that i tried being a man, and it didn’t make me happy ; I’ve never been happier that this very moment where I’m a butch with no tits and a wonderful life to live. She kept on being super cynic and very dismissive of my feeling.

If I feel so down about this, it’s because I really trusted her and I don’t understand why things changed so fast. I loved her, I think I still do, and I don’t understand why she pretends like saying this to me is not that big of a deal - it’s just something we can « agree to disagree ». She is also someone I valued a lot, her perception of me was dear to my heart.

Now I don’t know what to thing ; I’m so sad and mad about what she said, but I also doubt my self. What if she’s right ? Could I be so clueless about it ? I’m afraid I’ve tricked my girlfriend into being with a man ; she’s a specialist on lesbian issues and publishes a lot about this. I don’t wanna hinder her success just because of the choices I’ve made. I’m so sure I am a lesbian, so happy to be butch, so proud to be part of that legacy. People, especially close friends like her, throwing this to me makes it so hard for me.

I’ve never been one to talk shit about the trans community after my retransition and I will always fight the TERF rhetoric that only harms us as a community. I still feel close to my trans brothers and sisters, but i just don’t feel like I’m a trans man. I’m a proud butch lesbian, and I love being a dyke.

I just needed a space to rant and to be sad, I guess. Thank you if you read this, and don’t hesitate to interact if you feel drawn to my experience. Much love and sympathy to everyone around me.

⚠️ Men (in this context, especially cis), TERFs, SWERFs, don’t interact !!!!!! ⛔️

[andyinmiddleearth]

Not to be cisphobic but like... you know what screw it, I hate cis people. And by that I don’t mean that I hate every single individual cis person that exists, I actually have several cis friends and family members that I am close to and love. I mean that I hate cis people as my oppressors, that I hate cis people as a class that oppresses gender-non-conforming, intersex, trans, and non-binary people. Here’s some examples of the systems of oppression cis people as a class have placed that still hurt us to this day:

I hate gender-reveals parties. I hate the fact that a baby’s interests, decorations, hell even their entire personality, is determined just by simply looking at the fetus’ outward genitalia. Not to mention how inaccurate it can be cause sex is a spectrum (meaning it’s much more than just genitalia, it includes hormones, chromosomes, etc, and these can be super diverse and I myself, an AFAB person, don’t naturally produce estrogen) which is why some intersex people don’t even know they’re intersex until they get checked out by a specialist in their late teens or twenties.

I hate cis people assuming pronouns, ESPECIALLY when it comes to people like me that are visibly queer. I hate going to a doctor’s office and having to listen to nurses and even doctors call me sis, girl, ma’am, lady, she, her, when over here I’m standing with a ‘men’s’ haircut and wearing entirely ‘men’s’ clothes. But as a whole, I just hate assuming people’s pronouns in general because gender is so much more than gender expression. Men can be feminine, women can be masculine, non-binary people can be as femme or masc as they want. Our bodies and our clothes don’t determine our gender. We do.

I also hate cis people not respecting pronouns on purpose, like that time at Einstein Bagels where I was wearing my he/him pin and the cashier kept repeatedly calling me ‘ma’am’ despite me wearing this 2.25 inch long button WITH MY PRONOUNS ON IT. I hate how I have family members that purposefully misgender me every single fucking day despite me being out as trans to them for YEARS because they just think ‘being transgender is a choice, like being vegan.’ I hate how one of these said family members does everything they fucking can to trigger my dysphoria and constant remind me that they see me as a woman.

I hate cissexism. I hate words like ‘lady parts’ and ‘boy parts’ and ‘girl parts.’ Boys and girls (and all genders) can have whatever private parts they have and still be their gender AND IT’S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, and frankly very creepy to want to know what’s in someone’s pants. I hate how instead of using terms like afab or amab it’s just ‘male parts’ and ‘female parts,’ ‘male body,’ ‘female body,’ which also blatantly erases intersex people that may have both, or something else entirely different.

I hate how cis people have made this concept about the ‘the perfect trans person’ that people in the trans community (yes, I’m talking about transmeds) will shit on our non-binary and non-dysphoric trans siblings because ‘they make us look like a joke.’ Spoiler alert, cis people as a class hate trans people because they’re transphobic, period, not because some random non-binary sixteen year old uses ze/hir pronouns and is non-dysphoric. I hate how I was harassed on this platform FOR YEARS and sent hate on and off anon by transmeds simply because I, a dysphoric trans guy, think you don’t need dysphoria to be trans. Because I think being trans is so much more about being uncomfortable in your body, because I think you can have gender euphoria and not gender dysphoria. And I hate how the transmeds that bullied me also called me all kinds of slurs (both referring to my ethnicity as a Latino and also just homophobic ones like the f-slur) and perpetuated exactly the behavior they see white cishet men perform because they think that way maybe they will accept them. Spoiler alert; they won’t.

I hate how intersex babies are mutilated every day around the world simply because of how they are born while trans children and young adults are still being denied access to LIFE-SAVING resources like hormone blockers, HRT, surgery, etc. I hate how long the waitlists are for trans people in places like the UK and Canada are to transition, and I hate how monetarily expensive it can be even with insurance in the USA, since this is the main reason why I can’t start T right now (that and the fact that I live with family members that wouldn’t support me transitioning).

I hate how anything can be a ‘girl’ or ‘boy’ thing. Things as simple as drinks for fuck’s sake. Why is a beer a ‘man’s drink’ and a fruity cocktail a ‘lady’s drink?’ Same goes for everything... clothing, movies, certain games, even basic chores like cooking and cleaning. Hell, even interests can be a ‘girl or boy’ thing. One time I was reading a thick book and this cis man (he knew I’m AFAB cause my parents misgendered me to him obviously) went ‘oh yeah us guys don’t read that much.’ EXCUSE ME SIR BUT I AM A GUY, AND I DO NOT WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED WITH YOU!

I hate how when a trans person comes out as a child they are ‘too young to know,’ and when a trans person comes out as a teen they are ‘just going through a phase/copying trends,’ and when a trans person comes out as an adult then ‘they can’t really be trans because they never shoWeD thE siGns.’ There’s no age to realize you’re trans, everyone accepts their identity at different rates and that’s valid. And there’s no age to transition either.

I hate how when you come out as trans cis people magically expect you to suddenly not look trans anymore. How they expect trans men after coming out to have perfectly flat chests and no curves, how they expect trans women to suddenly grow boobs and look feminine af, and how they expect non-binary people to look as androgynous as possible. All kinds of bodies are trans, and you don’t need to medically transition to be trans. Some trans folks don’t have surgery or HRT or anything at all for whatever reason, and they’re still valid.

I hate how some cis people will misgender us trans people no matter how well we pass the minute they find out we’re trans. A trans man can have a flat chest, a full grown beard and a deep voice and the minute someone finds out he’s trans he’s suddenly ‘really a woman.’ I hate how this misgendering of trans people is one of the reasons why so many of us (41%) have attempted suicide, myself included. And I hate how badly cis people deteriorate our mental health just by refusing to use our pronouns and real name instead of our deadnames.

I hate all of these things, and there are so many more... but yeah, that’s what I mean when I say I hate cis people. I don’t hate cis people individually, I hate cis people because as a class they are complicit in my oppression and the way they keep upholding society contributes to our extremely high rates of mental illness, depression, and suicide. I’ve tried to kill myself too many times to count exactly because of all of these things. So yeah, call me a cisphobe if you want. I’m just a trans person that’s fed up with the transphobia, cisnormativity and cissexism that is shoved down my throat every day.

[idnek83]

ok so i have a long standing trans souda headcanon that i think about daily i know i’m late but i feel like i have to do this still, i just think about him being like a year into his transition, open about it if he’s really close with someone like just about the only person that knows at first is hajime and he only found out beacuse souda needed help with his t shots because he gets too freaked out to do them himself sometimes, and i just think about how he’d come out because it makes me feel better about the idea of coming out, so here’s how i think it’s go down :) he would do it so casually, like so casually you don’t even think anyhting of it he’s just makes a joke about it and eveyone would be like haha weird joke bro and he just assumes they know after that but here’s the thing they don’t, because it wasn’t at all obvious so like a whole year passes and he keeps making jokes and people are starting to think it’s weird and than one day he isn’t in class and like sonia and gundham want to know what happened but the only person that knows where he went is hajime who just says he’s getting surgery and they both literally think he has a terminal illness or he like had an accident when fixing up cars so they demand to know if he’s ok and hajime is like i was gonna go check on him tomorrow if you want you can come so they do, still thinking he like almsot died and than they go visit him and he’s kinda off his ass on pain meds and they ask what happens and he very proudly tells them “i got my titties cut off” and that’s when the finally piece it all togther :)

Oof relatable. I tried to do the ‘casually come out about my sexuality through jokes’ thing with one of my friend groups and... pretty much this lol. I thought they knew, but they didn’t catch on to shit for almost a year lol (Wow, I’m just realizing one guy knew before hand too, and didn’t say shit to anyone else. Anon, you pulled this situation right out of my life? Just with gender instead? How?).

Moving on lol.

Soda literally makes jokes about being trans all the time, but it usually just goes over people’s heads, or they’re just like ‘haha, that cis guy sure did make a funny trans joke. Anyways-’ lol (A few people probably at least kind of catch on, but no one says anything)

And I’m trying to think of good set ups for him to make jokes, but this is literally the only one I can think of:

Mondo is having bike troubles and shows up to Soda’s on campus garage to get it looked at. Soda’s just kind of chilling, tinkering with stuff and chatting with Hajime, so he’s happy to look at Mondo’s bike right away. He asks him if he knows what’s wrong and Mondo’s like ‘pretty sure its the transmission.’ Hajime rolls his eyes cus he knows what’s coming and Soda just smirks and is like “Then fixing your transmission is my trans mission!” and starts laughing. Hajime is choking in the corner and dying, because that joke was just too bad, and Mondo’s just standing there like ‘??? Does that mean you’ll fix it? What are you guys laughing at?’ lol

Hajime knew Soda was trans for a good chunk of time before he started T, so Soda calls him up the first time he’s trying to give himself a shot and is just like “Hajime, I need you to come over and stab me.” Hajime has no idea what he’s talking about but he’s just like “Cool.” and shows up at Soda’s dorm like 5 minutes later lol. He’s used to Soda being over dramatic, so when he shows up he’s expecting to hear about some dumb shit Soda did, thinking ‘stab me’ was Soda’s way of saying ‘end me for being cringe’ lol. When Soda shows him the needle and explains what’s going on, Hajime’s just like “Wow, I didn’t think I’d actually get to stab you” and Soda’s like “Wait, what do you mean ‘get to’? Hajime? HAJIME, PUT DOWN THE NEEDLE!” lol (Hajime is very careful about giving him the shot, he just had to fuck with him first lol)

By the time Soda’s top surgery date rolls around, he’s kind of gotten over the whole simping for Sonia thing, and they’re starting to actually become friends. He’s also been spending a lot more time with Gundham, since he’s one of Sonia’s best friends. He’s been dropping hints that he’s into Gundham, but they’ve been going about as well as the hints that he’s trans lol (Although Gundham has definitely been flirting with him a little too, Soda just doesn’t realize cus he’s hopeless lol).

He probably actually announces that he won’t be in class for a while, but it’s like after a really confusing lesson so when he’s like ‘cool, see you guys in a week, I’ll be in the hospital recovering if you need me.’ they think he’s just making a joke about how hard the lesson was lol.

The next day, everyone’s a little confused when he actually doesn’t show up, but they all just figure he’s sick. When lunch rolls around, Sonia and Gundham decide to ask Hajime where he is and Hajime is like ‘he literally said yesterday he was going to be in the hospital for a while?’ and they both start freaking out and asking if he’s okay and which hospital he’s in and what happened and Hajime’s just like ‘Guys he’s fine, he had his surgery this morning and he’s just recovering now.’ and they’re like ‘SURGERY?!?!?!!’ and that’s when Hajime realizes all of his classmates are just as dense as Soda. He’s like ‘I’m going to see him after school, if you guys wanna come, I’m sure he’ll explain the details to you himself.’ and they both agree and use the rest of their lunch to go buy Soda some ‘get well soon’ gifts.

When they get to the room where Soda’s recovering, Hajime goes in first to see if he’s okay with Sonia and Gundham being there (He already told him in text, but he want’s to double check). Soda’s more than happy to see them and when they walk in he’s just ecstatic (and high off his ass lol). He’s like ‘Wow, look at all these beautiful people coming to see me’ and he reaches out and kisses Sonia’s hand then does the same to Gundham’s, but then he just... keeps holding it after haha (Gundham just accepts it and enters gay panic mode lol). Sonia shows him the little stuffed bear and card they got him (which he cannot currently read but still claims to love lol), and then gestures to the flowers Gundham’s holding. Soda looks at Gundham, holding his hand and offering him flowers and he’s just so in love lol. He turns to Hajime and he’s like ‘Look!! He brought me flowers! That’s so romantic, I told you he’d be a good boyfriend! I’m probably right about him being good in bed too!’ and everyone who isn’t Soda starts blushing super hard cus Jesus. Soda immediately forgets what he said and just reaches for the flowers, but ends up hurting himself cus lifting your arms after top surgery is a big no-no. 

That snaps everyone out of their embarrassment and they’re all hovering around him asking if he’s alright and Gundham is holding his hand a little tighter. After he assures them he’s fine, Sonia finally asks him what kind of surgery he had. His eyes get big and he’s just like ‘Whaaat? You don’t knooow??’ and he’s smiling super big and Hajime is moving closer cus he knows exactly what the idiot is about to try to do. 

“I GOT MY TITTIES CHOPPED OFF!!”

Hajime just manages to stop him from trying to rip his hospital gown off and hurting himself again, reminding him that all Sonia and Gundham would see is bandages anyways lol.

Sonia and Gundham both take a moment to figure out what the fuck he’s talking about while he argues with Hajime about his ‘glorious, flat chest’ and then it clicks and they both realize that they definitely should have figured it out way earlier from all of Soda’s jokes lol. They both congratulate him and he finally stops trying to take off his gown lol.

They spend a few hours just hanging out and chatting in Soda’s hospital room after that.

Gundham holds his hand the whole time. 

[hiddenspaceplant]

Listen, we need to talk more about discrimination in schools, specifically k-9. The reason I say these years is because this is typically before teen ‘rebellion’ years. Now, as a white genderfluid pan, I haven’t experienced racism, but I’ve witnessed what has happened to my peers. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you bet I’ve been called shit. But the amount we’re not taught as kids, particularly on dealing with this is terrifying. Everything that could be triggering is under the cut. It include racism, homophobia and transphobia, general discrimination, and toxic religion (Christianity specifically)

-My closest friend, who is Hindu, was accidentally given a beef burger on hot lunch day. However, when she mentioned to the supervisor that she needed to trade burgers because of her religion and the eating habits of her religion. She said no, and when other kids in my class tries to give her food, that woman stopped us, and forced my friend to eat the entire burger. It took over a year for that supervisor to be banned

-My friend liked to wear his sisters clothes, because he just liked skirts more than pants. One day, a teacher said he couldn’t wear them anymore. He refused to stop and the next day, she forcibly took of his skirt and forced him to wear a pair of lost and found pants. Thankfully, she was fired quite quickly.

From Junior High/This year

-Another friend of mine was constantly bullied by a group of boys for wearing a hijab. One day, they tackled her, pinned her down, and ripped off her hijab. They threw it over the fence so she couldn’t get it, and wasn’t allowed to go home. There was no assembly or talk to the kids about why that was such a horrendous thing

-The GSA was started up, and every kid in the GSA (including me) got a pamphlet on why we should repent and convert to Jesus. Turns out that a parent and a teacher hated the idea of a GSA and put pamphlets for gay conversion therapy and their church into our lockers. Both are still at the school

-Last year, it was announced me and my friend would take over the GSA, as we were the only LGBTQ+ people in Grade 8. Our home room teacher (the one from the previous) sat us both down during another class to give us an hour long lecture on why we need to end the GSA, giving us a very detailed description of our Hell. -A follow up to one of these. After my friend got her hijab ripped off, me and my friends did research on what to do when a hijab is ripped off. Soon enough, the boys attacked her again and ripped off her hijab. What one of us (a girl) did was give her a sweater to cover her hair, and the rest of us (not what you should do) was kick them all to the ground. Only us got suspended, the boys had no punishment.

Now, what do you think white, cis, straight, Christian people respond when they hear this? Barely anything, they shrug and say a long version of Oof.

Now, as some of my mutuals know, my parents are white cis straight christians. And they tell these two stories and get reactions of shock and empathy.

-My parents used to live in New Zealand for a few years. They lived on a housing settlement that was invading on Indigenous land. They were yelled at, and faced peaceful protests everyday. My parents claim it was racism.

-My mother tells this to me whenever trans people are mentioned in any form. She knew a pair of twins, and one was a trans woman. At 18, she was lucky enough to get her transition surgeries. My mother claims that the woman went crazy because of transitioning, and was sent to an asylum and became the girlfriend of a serial killer. I’ve heard this story multiple times, and it always changes.

What was the point of this you ask? To remind white straight cis christians to remember you can literally not be discriminated against (sexism not included), and that you need to stop claiming you’ve faced worse