#also i think its fact that she is very much on the friend path for so long that makes me like her even more

[ourg0dsal]

I think the fact that I went into Baldur's Gate 3 with every intention of romancing Shadowheart to then immediately drop everything and run the second I recruited Karlach into my party, says a lot about my real life taste in woman.

[ihavethedreamies]

Matter of Pride | Hongjoong

Kim Hongjoong - ATEEZ

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~5.9k

Pairing: Lion-Hybrid!Hongjoong x Gazelle-Hybrid!AFAB!Reader

Genre: Hybrid AU!, Historical?/Ancient?, Reader-Insert, Fluff, Smut, Some Plot, Strangers-to-Friends-to-Lovers

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, very tiny mention of noncon, Pet Names (Doll, Sweetheart, Sweet, Love, etc.), Swearing, Kissing, Biting & Scratching & Marking, Bonding/Mating, Heat/Rut, Pheromones, Oral (F! Receiving), Unprotected Sex (This is pre-birth control so…), Monster(?)!Hongjoong (not really, he's a lion hybrid)

Author's Note: Okay, here we go lol. This is NOT Omegaverse, but they do both go into rut/heat. They have animals ears and tails and he's got a spiny lion cock. Hongjoong is not necessarily bigger than reality, the reader is just small. I did also imagine this more to be set in the steppe of Central Asia/Southern Siberia rather than Africa.

I am planning on doing the other members, might just take some time since we are in the process of moving. I wanted to get this up sooner as well, but I live in Tornado Country™.

🐕 Yeosang's 🐕

🐻 Jongho's 🐻

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

Ever since you were a calf, the elders of your herd told you to stay away from predators. You weren't for sure why thought, since all they told you was that they were dangerous. You found that quite odd considering you were not full animals, and as far as you knew, predator hybrids did not literally eat prey hybrids. There was probably some ancient lore-based superstition or something, and it wasn't till you were older did you really think about the real facts. Despite logically knowing that they weren’t going to eat you alive, you still were a bit scared about meeting a predator.

One day you were traversing the rocky steppe of your homeland, right at the foothills of the mountains. Crouching down, you ran your fingers through the grass, feeling for the tell-tale mound of the root you were looking for. The sun was beginning to set, the cool of late-spring settling in the air.

"No." you grumbled, not feeling anything. Standing back up, your attention was quickly drawn to a new sound. Your furry ear, sticking out from the side of your head, flicked at the noise. The wind shifted and your sensitive smell picked up something unfamiliar, but it triggered a deeper, primal part of you. Predators. Logic tried to fight back against instinct, the sound was voices, not the growls of an actual animal. Still, your heart raced, the sound of blood pumping thudded in your ears. Your furry tail swished back and forth nervously, and despite your apprehensions, you moved toward the voices. Finding a path that led a bit further into the foothills, you saw fresh boot marks. Gently, like doing so would trigger something, you placed your own foot in the print, the size difference was striking. You were not a child, you were actually quite a bit bigger than the other women of your herd, but… A boisterous laugh hit your ears, your head turning toward it on its own, instinctually. Swallowing hard, you followed the tracks and when you came around a large boulder, you peered around it. There was a small clearing created by tall, jutting rocks, and a camp had been set up there. Three figures sat around a firepit, great furry pelts wrapped around their shoulders and necks. Lions. There was a fourth figure, leaning against one of the rocks, making him closest to you. Peering closer, he was beautiful. Sharp eyes and jawline, his hair wasn't as long nor as shaggy as the others. His pelt was much nicer as well, and he was the only one with a tunic shirt on underneath. A large axe-like knife was attached to his belt and he had a deep red cloth tied around his bicep. You felt the end of your tail brushing over the rock as it swayed, your nose twitching as the wind carried their scent. You had a hard time pinpointing the exact fragrance, but the one closest to you was the most potent. And the most pleasant. The three around the fire smelled like the smoke wafting around them, and like sweat and dirt. The other one though, he smelled like spiced tea and fragrant tree bark. The wind shifted again, coming up from behind you, carrying your scent right into the clearing. You barely had time to realize what had happened, trying to back away and completely out of sight, but he noticed. As you ducked to hide, his deep golden-brown eyes met your own. The intense look shot fear through your very DNA and you turned to bolt, using your species' long and fast legs to sprint. You didn't make it very far though, and the back of your tunic was seized and you bleated as you were hauled back. Turning to look at your captor as best as you could, it was the handsome one. He smelled even better so close and looked even better. Your face was hot, for many different reasons, and you wondered if he could smell your fear. Was that an actual thing?

"What's wrong Hongjoong?" One of the other lions called and he was able to hide you with his own body. He wasn't as big as the others, but still a good seven or eight inches taller than you.

"Smelled a doe, I'm going to see if I can get her." He shouted back and they went back to their raucous conversation. The lion holding you wrapped his arm around your middle rather than gripping your tunic and easily carried you around the boulder fully and down the slope. You hung there, not sure what else you could do, and he only let you go when he got to the end of the path that led you in.

"S-sorry!" You spun around to face him, not trusting him at your back, "I wasn't eavesdropping!"

"I'm not worried about that, doll. Be glad the smoke covered your scent for the others."

"W-why? Would they…" You swallowed hard, your quivering obvious to him. So were your twitching ears, and he could see your tunic shifting from your wagging tail.

"Would they eat me?" Your question threw him off, to the point that he flinched back.

"What?" He huffed, "No, of course not. Is that what you were told?" You shrugged, feeling embarrassed now.

"That's not what I'm worried they would do to a cute thing like you." Your arm reached around your back, twisting so you could wrap your fingers around the end of your braid, tugging on it. You couldn't meet his gaze, especially because you understood his implication. Also, you weren't sure how you felt about him calling you cute.

"What are you doing around here? What herd are you with?"

"I was gathering herbs…I'm with the gazelle herd southwest of here." You motioned vaguely behind you.

"What were you looking for?"

"Valerian root. It's too early for the plant to be flowering so it's hard to find." He didn't reply for a bit, glancing behind him.

"There's a big tree, east of your village?"

"Y-yes?" You were a little concerned he knew the area so well, but at the same time if they knew where your herd was, and had left it be, it was probably okay.

"What else have you been looking for?" His change of subject caught you off guard, but you answered.

"Meet me at that tree tomorrow evening, and I'll have some for you. Don't come back this way, those others aren't safe."

"You are, though?" Your question didn't sound as bold as you wanted it to. He chuckled a bit, then exhaled hard through his nose.

"Short answer, yes. I don't want to be working with them, but I don't have a choice right now."

"What do you want in return?" You asked, why would he help you just to be nice. It would be a lot of work to gather the herbs you were looking for.

"We'll see how hard it is, then I'll tell you. Deal?" He held his hand out and you eyed it. Finally, taking it, the strength behind the grip jolted you.

"I'm Hongjoong. Do you have a name I can call you?" He smirked softly and you pulled away from the handshake like he had burned you suddenly.

"(Y/N). About this time?"

"Sure, doll. Now go home, and don't come back here." Hongjoong stepped back and nodded for you to do so. Turning back to look at him a few times as you went, you trotted back home, your bag lighter than you had planned on it being.

All through the next day, your eyes kept flitting to the sun behind the clouds, waiting for it to reach the right point in the sky. You were glad you were the head healer, if you had not come back with a good haul before your mentor retired, she would've swatted your hands. In the beginning, it was weird to return to an empty tent, but after nearly six months, you were used to it. It wasn't like she was dead; it was just weird she wasn't there anymore. Your hands moved on muscle memory as you worked through the day, thoughts spiraling, always returning to the image of the lion you met the day prior. It didn't help that he was so attractive, the encounter would have been significantly less captivating without that factor. It was clear he didn't like his comrades, even past that, his appearance was very different from theirs. He had been standing far away from them as well and had even lied when he found you.

The closer toward the horizon the sun grew, the more distracted you were, and you were so antsy that for the last hour before the designated time, you stood at the edge of the village. Some of your herd had questioned your odd behavior through the day, and you brushed it off, telling them you were thinking hard about where to find more herbs. That time of year was difficult with so many different plants sprouting up, and most people accepted your reasoning. Only your mother wasn't convinced, but she also knew not to press too hard, or you would lose your patience. You didn't have too much of that.

From where you were standing, you could kind of see where the tree was, well, the rock that was hiding it. It was behind the big rock. Glancing up at the darkening sky, you could finally see the twinkling of the northernmost star, and you started to trek out. After you descended the slope, and gotten over the hill after it, you knew you were out of sight, and broke into a quicker pace. For some reason, you were excited. Was it the thrill of doing something that others would frown upon? Was it that you got to bask in the presence of the extremely attractive lion once more?

You reached the boulder faster than normal, it seemed your body was just as eager, and had decided to move faster than your brain realized. Swallowing hard, your hand brushed over the smooth stone surface as you moved around it, peaking around. Feeling a small sense of déjà vu, when you could see around the rock, you saw him under the tree.

"There's no need to hide, doll." His voice was warm and you giggled a little in embarrassment, fully coming around. Right when you got close enough, he took a bundle off his shoulder, leaves poking out from the leather wrap. Taking it gently, you crouched down so you could untie it and look. You gasped seeing everything that was there. Not only did he find everything you needed, but there was also a lot there.

"H-How did you get so much?" You looked up at him from your squat and he shrugged. No verbal response, but you were too grateful to question.

"H-here." You reached into your own bag, your string of coins jingling as you pulled it out.

"No, (Y/N). You don't need to pay me."

"But!" When you moved to give him the coins, he wrapped his fingers over yours so they wrapped around the metal pieces.

"What do you want as payment then?"

"Don't worry about it."

"I have, um. I have this mulled wine my grandfather made…" You went back to your bag, going to unite the cord of the wineskin.

"No."

"Um, okay, I have…" You shuffled stuff around in your bag, looking for the flute you still didn't really know how to play.

"(Y/N). You don't have to give me anything, it’s fine." He was closer then, trying to get you to stop your frantic search. His fingers went to your chin, forcing your head to tip back so you could meet his gaze.

"A-are you sure?"

"Yes." He dropped his hand and stepped back once more, not wanting to make you uncomfortable.

"N-nothing?" You felt bad, it would have taken hours to gather that much.

"If you really want, you can sit and talk to me for a bit?" He suggested and the request flabbergasted you.

"Really?" Hongjoong hummed with a nod, turning so he could move to the tree, sitting at the base in a divot in the large roots. Sitting down next to him, you truly felt small then, scratching at a root with your blunt fingernail. Your eyes went to his own hands, sharp claws sat at the end of each finger. You also had noticed when he smiled, his canine teeth were bigger and sharper. His golden-blonde hair, rounded ears, and tufted tail all screamed that he was a lion, even if his demeanor didn't. He wasn't scary, but he was majestic and beautiful.

"Have you ever met a lion before me?" He rested against the tree trunk and you shook your head.

"Have you ever met a predator?"

"Not really. Just seen them from afar." You picked at a dried bit of some poultice you had made that was stuck on your tunic skirt.

"You weren't as afraid as I thought you would be, then."

"If it had been one of the others, maybe."

"Why was I different?" Hongjoong's gaze on you made your face hot, you couldn't return the look.

"You could have given me away to the others, and you didn't." Yep, that was it. Nothing more to it.

"That's it?" He sounded a bit disappointed.

"Why didn't you?"

"I told you; I don't care for them."

"Then why are you travelling with them?"

"It's hard to be a solo male out here. It's easier to work with a group before I try and get my own pride."

"Oh. So, like, a bunch of wives?"

"More like two or three. Not like full lions, but..." He didn't sound super eager for that.

"Are all lion hybrids like that?"

"More or less. Never appealed to me much, to be honest."

"Really?" This piqued your interest, and you didn't dwell too much on why.

"It's rare for lions to have one spouse, out in the wilds anyway. I've debated leaving for the capital, but…"

"Why not?"

"I don't mind living off the land, but I don't know where else to go to find a wife. Most lionesses also want to be in a pride, like some ancient call."

"Huh."

"Are gazelle monogamous?"

"Hybrids are. Have a shit ton of kids though." Your response made him laugh; the sound rumbled through you.

"Can you roar like a full lion?" You were too curious. You needed to know.

"Uh, no. Can you actually bleat like a full gazelle?"

"Not really…" Now you felt stupid, ears flicking nervously. Your tail thumped a bit on the ground, your eyes meandering down to look at his. It was much longer than yours, like his full animal brethren.

"What about you?"

"Me?"

"Do you want to get married and have a shit ton of kids?" You hummed in thought. No. It was more because you didn't want to be pressed into a mold. Most herbalists never marry, let alone have offspring, that was part of the reason you chose the trade.

"No."

"You even want kids?"

"Don't know. One would be nice, but that's not how it works…" You stared in the distance toward your village.

"How many siblings do you have?"

"I'm the oldest of eleven."

"Fuck." He huffed and his reaction made you burst into a guffaw.

"Yes."

"Is your mother…okay?" This made you laugh harder.

"Uh, I can't imagine five singletons plus three sets of twins would make anyone okay."

"Not your ideal future?"

"Oh, fuck, no." Hongjoong smiled at your obvious newly relaxed state. It was then you noticed the sun had set completely, little white stars twinkling in the dark purple abyss.

"I need to get back!" You shot up, retying the bundle he had given you.

"Wait!" He stopped you with a hand on your wrist. Turning to look back at him, he licked his lips, letting you go.

"Can you meet me back here in two days. Same time?" Your eyes widened a bit at the request, but you felt a smile tug at your lips.

"Yeah, I can."

You did go back when he asked.

"You came!" Hongjoong seemed genuinely surprised, standing up straight from where he had been leaning against the tree.

"Of course?" You were genuinely surprised at his reaction, "why wouldn't I?"

"I was a bit worried you only came last time for the herbs…" He wouldn't look straight at you, and you noticed he had something in his hand. It was obviously plants.

"Is that why you brought that?" You pointed to them, and he brought them around from behind his back.

"Y-yeah."

"Hongjoong. You're the first guy that still gave me the time of day after saying I didn't want to have twelve children." You motioned behind you toward your village, "honestly I've been really impatient, waiting for…now." Your face warmed and you swiped your leg back and forth, drawing an arch in the dirt with your toe.

"You're the first girl who didn't look at me weird when I said I only wanted one wife…" He huffed, the confident smirk coming back to his face.

"Is it weird, that we're so different?" You voiced the obvious concern between both of you.

"Maybe. But it doesn't feel like it."

For nearly two months you met at the tree, every two days. One night, under a full moon, when you arrived at the tree, he met you right as you arrived, immediately sweeping you into his arms. A bit shocked, you returned the hug, warmth flooding your whole body. You spoke like normal, sitting together, shoulder to shoulder. That time though, there was something in the air. You couldn't place your finger on it, and when you went to leave for the night, he hugged you once more. When he pulled back, his hand went to cup your cheek.

"I…I don't want to let you go." He barely pulled away from the hug but did release you. His head was bowed to be closer to yours, forehead brushing yours.

"Hongjoong?" You weren't for sure what he meant, considering he literally let you go.

"Run away with me. Come to me. Stay with me." He tilted his head, nose brushing yours, his breath mingled with yours. Tears pricked your eyes, a rush of emotions knocking your breath away as he stole it. His lips were hot on yours and a tear escaped your eye. When he pulled back, his eyes met yours, and he grimaced at your tears.

"Tomorrow. I'll come to you. Here?" You asked, ready and willing. You did want to at least say goodbye to your family, gather your things.

"No. There's a cave near where we first met-"

"Behind the vines?"

"Yes."

"I'll be there."

Your mother didn’t ask too many questions. She knew there had been something on your mind, and she knew and saw that you weren't happy there. You never would be, especially not after meeting Hongjoong. You didn't have the heart to tell your father, so you said goodbye to him like it was any other time you went to gather herbs. It wasn't like you would never see them again, but you weren't sure when you would go back, not sure where you would end up. With one last glance behind you, you left your village, your bag more full than usual, but no one noticed. Standing at the entrance of the cave, you swallowed hard, parting the hanging vines and stepping in. He was there. Of course he was, it seemed he had been staying there. A very convenient hole lay in the ceiling, casting the sunlight in. The whole cave smelled of him, and once he saw you, he moved forward. You gasped, his hands cupping your jaw, lips sealing over yours. That kiss wasn’t anything like the time before. Hongjoong pulled back slightly, just so you could breathe and you whimpered at the loss. Your tail rapidly flitted back and forth behind you, ears twitching just as fast. Hongjoong's spiced aroma had grown stronger, a slight rumbling building in his chest. His hands were still holding your jaw, the claw on his thumb just barely ghosting over your skin. Stepping even closer, your hands fell on his chest, and you marveled at the hard muscle underneath the pelt around his shoulders. The rumble grew stronger under your touch, and you could already feel your core clench around nothing. Swallowing hard, you breathed in his scent, over and over, like it was a drug.

"Fuck, (Y/N)."  He practically growled, one hand moving to rest on your waist. His face buried into the crook of your neck; nose pressed to your jugular. Your blood spiked and you felt your whole body shudder. You were unsure if it was arousal, or a sense of danger, having the large fangs of a predator near your weakest spot.

"You smell so good." Hongjoong groaned, hauling you closer, leaving barely a space between you.

"Like what?" You wanted to add, 'like a meal or a mate?', but didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Like when the apricots blossom." His other hand on your jaw moved instead to the back of your head, the one on your waist to the small of your back. You gasped at the pressure of his body, feeling him growing hard against your stomach. His face left your neck, and he kissed you again. You wondered if that was what the elders implied, being eaten alive. His tongue had easily entered your mouth, swiping over yours, his large canines clacking against your much blunter ones. You had expected his tongue to be rough, but he didn't know yours would be as well, though not nearly as coarse as your full animal kin. It seemed though, that he was literally drooling, the extra saliva made his tongue glide around yours. You whimpered again, the muffled noise was nearly a bleat, and the rumble of his chest nearly a roar. Hongjoong's lips left yours, a strand of spit connecting your mouths, another trail leaving the corner of his mouth. He licked away the extra, breaking the trail, his pupils had narrowed to narrow slits. Your own pupils were blown wide, the black nearly eclipsing the color of your iris. Part of you felt the need to run, flee, that you were being hunted. Somehow though, that thought turned you on all the more.

"Are you sure, (Y/N)?"

"Huh?"

"Once I have you, I won't let you go." His voice rumbled through you, straight to your cunt, and your scent of arousal built to the point you could smell it yourself. The spiced bark of his own aroma filled your nostrils, making your thoughts hazy.

"You already have me." You replied, voice very soft, to keep it from shaking. Your brain didn't register his next move till it was already done, your back pinned to the rock of the cave, his hand still on the back of your head to make sure it didn't smash against the stone.

"Tell if it hurts too bad." His voice was in your ear, nose pushing against the collar of your tunic. Your hands around his neck moved to his upper back, gripping hard into the pelt as his teeth sank into your shoulder. Your eyes rolled back, the stinging pain just aroused you further, and his hips rutted forward once, pressing his even harder cock against your tummy. As his fangs left your skin, he licked over the spot and you flinched at the sting. Just then, his scent spiked, the aroma becoming sweeter, mingling with yours. You knew predators bonded through mating bites, but you had no idea what it would do to your body. Your entire body felt like it was on fire, blood rushed in your ears and a drop of slick started to flow down your inner thigh.

"Gotta warn you, sweetheart." He huffed, a cocky smirk gracing his features, tongue licking over the drop of blood still on his lip. He palmed his hard-on through his tunic pants, "might look a little different than you're expecting."

"Huh?" You weren't fully registering what he was getting at. Hongjoong's fingers wrapped around yours, bringing your hand to his covered cock, letting you palm over him yourself. You whimpered, you had dealt with plenty of naked males being a healer, and none compared. The thing that you noticed really, what he was talking about, were the little spines at the base of his cock and below the head. Your eyes widened, normally that would concern you some, but your body was ready and waiting. Eager even, begging.

"They don't hurt like a full lion, but I wanted you to know."

"I don't care, I just want you to split me open on it." Your bold declaration made him chuckle, his tongue licking against the tip of your ear. It flicked under the touch and the hand at your head brought your lips back to his. He swallowed your mewls, the hand he had on your back moved lower, gripping the base of your tail. When he tugged, a bleat escaped your throat, and his hard thigh nestled between your quivering ones. He immediately felt the heat of your cunt through the thin leather of his tunic pants, your slick quickly dripping over the material.

"You're soaked, love." He pressed harder, your hips jumping, the slight friction intensified by whatever hex he seemed to have you under.

"Sorry, sweet. You're sending me into a rut." His chest was rumbling again, deeper than before, "It'll be hard to hold back." Is that what was happening to you? Was he putting you into heat? Yours were normally extremely weak since you were unmated, and was it much worse because he was a predator? Did your body need to compensate for his own body’s greater power? The hand on your tail moved to cup your butt, then to your thigh, prompting you to pronk up and into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist, the bulge of his cock pressing over your bare cunt and you whined, breath hitching. You felt so small then, he easily held you up against the cave wall, broad enough that most wouldn’t even know you were there but your legs around his middle. Hongjoong kissed over your neck, down to your collar bone, rough tongue searing over your skin. Your hands scrambled, gripping and pulling at the pelt around his neck, trying to get it off. He helped you, reaching under to undo a small button and you pulled it up over his head, letting it flop to the ground. His toned arms were fully on display then, the red cloth around his arm somehow made the sight all the better. He never told you what it meant, and you just assumed it was an accessory. Before you could start trying to wrestle his tunic top off, he held you to him, carrying you to a pile of pelts it seemed he used as a bed. Softly, he laid you down on it, but his following movements were anything but. He ripped his shirt off and you didn't get time to ogle his bare torso because he proceeded to literally tear yours off. You had only been in a linen tunic dress, but still the ease with which he turned it to shreds was incredible arousing. His palms were rough against your soft skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake.

"Hongjoo-!" Your breath was kicked from your lungs, vision spattering with dots of light when his tongue buried into your cunt. You hadn't even realized he was down there, hands pressing to your thighs to hold your legs open. Even the slight brush of his lips over your clit as his tongue licked over your walls was intense. A strong wave of pleasure was quickly cresting, your womb pulsing hard, walls clenching.

"Fuck~!" Little bleats and whimpers left you, your tail whacking against the pelts beneath you, dull nails raking through his hair. While you had never had an orgasm, you knew that's what it was. With how quick he brought you up to and over the edge, you knew you were in for a long night. Hongjoong growled, his purr rumbling through his tongue into you, drinking your essence as it squirted from your cunt. Smirking, he pulled back, thumb gathering a drop from his chin so he could lick it off.

"You think your cute little cunt can take my cock?" His knuckles brushed through your folds, careful of his claws.

"Please, need it~" Your foot came up, pressing over his hard-on. He grunted, wrapping his hand around your ankle, forcing it off so he could take his pants off. You watched, hazy eyes trying to focus as the leather hit the cave floor. Your eyes subsequently widened, brain fogging further. Little spines circled his cock, thick and long. Hongjoong kneeled between your legs, spreading them and hooking one of your knees over his elbow to keep you open for him. He chuckled at the twitch your whole body seized from when the hot head met your dripping folds.

"It might sting, love." He warned once more, the thumb of his hand on your waist rubbing small circles over your hip. You nodded, trying to relax but also steel yourself. Yes, it stung, it burned, but it was amazing. Each little bit he sank his fat cock into you, the little spines rubbed and pulled at your walls. Your slick allowed an easy glide, but his own head was swimming from the tight vice of your cunt, eagerly sucking him in. You shuddered with each breath, heat searing through you from your core out, and he was barely half-way in when you felt another orgasm cresting. You thought the pain would diminish the pleasure, but it was the opposite, the burn heated you even further. Hongjoong laid kisses over your shoulder around his mark, letting you adjust to the stretch, even if it was nearly painful for him to go so slow. As the head of his dick pressed against your eager and weeping womb, the little spines at the base brushed your clit and folds, and the final little push finished you off. You threw your head back, eyelids fluttering, nails leaving crescents on his shoulders. He groaned as your tight cunt pulsed around him, more of your slick spurting out from where he was filling you. When the waves of your orgasm faded, you still were shuddering, tipsy on the pleasure.

"Ready, love?"

"Hongjoong~" You mewled, fingers rubbing over his hot skin, blunt nails scratching a path down from where you had them. Your other leg ended up hooked over his elbow as well, and when he pulled out, only about halfway, the little barbs tugged at your gummy walls. He snapped his hips then, burying back inside, battering the fat head against your cervix. He was right, he couldn't hold back. He wanted to start slow, let you get used to it, but he couldn't. The next thrust had no warning, his pace was immediately relentless, your knees pressed up toward your ears. He was fucking you stupid, the noises you let out sounding more and more like your animal kin, bleats and moans melding. Your body had gone limp, only your arms had any strength, hands digging into the pelt under your hips. Your head lolled and your breasts bounced with each thrust. You couldn't think to let him know as he barreled through your third orgasm, more slick gushing from your cunt. His noises were animalistic at that point, anyone passing would think a real lion was rutting in that cave. His tongue ran over his long fangs, saliva spilling from his lips as he growled and grunted.

"Aw, fuck, (Y/N)." He chuckled, burying his cock as deep as he could, pressing those little spines into your groin, pumping your eager womb full. You weren't even sure you could actually get pregnant, but he was bound and determined to fill you to the point that it would leak out of you for days. The heat of his cum inside brought you over the edge too, a much smaller climax racking you. He was still hard as a rock though. You gasped, your lungs spasming as he pulled his cock all the way out, those little barbs digging in. Your world spun, your chest and stomach to the pelts below then, and he yanked your hips up, sinking his cock back in once more. At that angle he got even deeper somehow, each rough plow of his dick battering your back walls. Your vision blurred further, eyes rolling back, fingers futilely digging into the fur below you. His hips pummeled against the skin of your ass hard, the smacking combined with his beastly grunts made your ears twitch. His hand went back to your tail, wrapping around the base, tugging a bit. Shivering shot straight up your spine from where he had you, cunt weeping along with you, tears and drool leaving a puddle on the pelts under you.

"Fucking hell, love. You're so good for me~" He groaned, chuckling as your walls fluttered through another climax. Your cunt and clit stung from the overstimulation, but you needed more, you needed him to pump you full more. The bite on your shoulder flared with heat, so did your skin as his hands wrapped around the small of your waist. His thrusts once again grew unsteady, instead they were hard and shallow, pulling back just enough to rake those little barbs over your clit over and over.

"Fuckfuckfuckfuck." You rambled, vision already spotting with white, then nearly screamed when he came again, spurts of white hot jizz leaking from your hole, not able to handle the amount. Your cunt sprayed out as well, the mix of your release leaving a mess on the pelts. You gasped for air, heart thudding, sweat dripping from your forehead. He was still hard. Maybe that's why your people were warned about mixing with predators. His stamina was a beast in itself.

"Can you keep going love? Lions go for a whole day sometimes." Hongjoong groaned when your cunt clenched again, really hoping you could keep going. His body needed yours, just as bad for both of you, and he wanted to fuck you the rest of the week if he could. He might be able to, you on the other hand…

"Fuck me stupid, I don't- just your cock~!" You whined and moaned, giggling like an idiot as his hips rolled again. Picking back up to his monster pace again. Every drag of his dick seemed to eek a tiny little orgasm out of you, your body strung so tight, it sang with every one of his movements. Your brain vaguely registered as the sunlight faded from the hole in the ceiling, fading to the cool moonlight. You didn't think you could walk for a week after, he had fucked so many orgasms out of and into you, you lost count. Globs of thick seed slipped out of your cunt when he finally pulled out, cock finally softening. Your face was blank, eyes open but barely conscious.

"Sleep, my love. I'll need you again in the morning."

🐕 Yeosang's 🐕

🐻 Jongho's 🐻

Master-Master List

ATEEZ Master List

[raggstorice]

FLASH HEADCANONS!

Where I take a fandom and give a Headcanon for Every. Single. Character.

Twisted Wonderland! #1

Here we go!

Riddle: whenever a bug lands on him he freezes. Just stops.

Ace: His parents always shut down his beliefs. Very much a 'Stay in line and You'll be fine' type of family. (If requested I will rant on my HC Ace backstory)

Deuce: He calls his mother every day and one day she just starts crying and is all like 'Im so proud of you. You've changed so much and I love you.' and Deuce started crying too.

Cater: Does not actually care that much about Magicam. He just needed something to base his personality off of.

Trey: Uses southern insults All. The. Time. People talk to him and he's just 'Well good for you!' and people think he's the nicest.

Leona: If you put a weighted blanket on him he will just fall over like that one scene in Lilo and stitch.

Ruggie: Knows everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Try to introduce him to someone new and he'll just be like 'OMG my old friend!' yeah.

Jack: Named his cactus Paula. Also Talks to it and uses it like a doll. (Like that one scene in DRDT)

Azul: His first experience with a land dweller was when he saw a coin fall from the surface and he followed it. There was a language barrier so he couldn't talk to them. He wonders how they're doing some days.

Jade: Had a bonding moment with Jack over their love for plants (mushrooms and cacti) also eats mushroom-spinach pizza (like me!)

Floyd: He bites. Also he's banned from playing against other schools in Basketball because of the sheer amount of fouls he gets. Jamil is so done.

Kalim: Will summon a rainbow to cheer someone up. He's precious.

Jamil: Doesn't actually hate Kalim. He just needs to be mad at someone. Oh also he cooks for the Basketball club and brings food to practice. Ace is his biggest fan.

Vil: Godly eye makeup. He's the one who gave Rook his feather in his hat.

Epel: Bad Ass Mother Fucker. He prefers to fight with his tounge rather than his fists. The only one to realize Trey's passive aggressiveness.

Rook: Will bring back fresh meat from his hunts. Him and Jade bring the best ingredients to the Cafeteria and no one knows.

Idia: one time he hid from people in an empty classroom for several hours after school. Ortho almost sent a search party.

Ortho: Spends hours analyzing his friends. Like as a hobby. He brings them perfectly planned gifts and they all love it.

Malleus: Lilia cuts his hair. He also polishes his horns. He secretly really enjoys Sebek's loyalty just wished he was quieter.

Silver: Takes care of the horses so well. They love him and will only accept food from him.

Sebek: He can be surprisingly quiet if you ask nicely. He gets loud again if he gets worked up. Autistic.

Lilia: He loves his sons. He ends up taking care of the whole Campus. No one in NRC can take care of themselves properly so he does it. Mockingbird by Eminem coded

Crowley: He shows up randomly and helps students. Lilia is taking a student to the infirmary? He's there and takes them for him. Leona is asleep in the botanical garden? Crowley kicks him away from the path. The teachers are so done with the chaos and are ready to combust? He's there. He will make the chaos worse and somehow contain it at the same time.

Crewel: He stays stocked up on potions ready to help any students that are ill, tired, or in any sort of pain. He will let you sleep in his classroom and will pull you into his office if he thinks somethings up. Many students have cried in front of him.

Trein: Will go out of his way to include history not taught in textbooks. Stuff about gay rights, racism, trans right, war crimes, fun facts about political leaders, etc. He does it all in the most monotone voice ever.

Lucius: The best cat. Used to be a stray wandering campus. Will bring gifts to students it likes. Recognized Leona as one of its own.

Vargas: Always down to help students. Oh you have Asthma? Good thing I have SEVENTEEN EXTRA INHALERS. You seem to be struggling a little why don't you sit down? Exercise without rest is as good as no exercise at all.

Sam: Will give freebies to students who need it. Oh you skipped lunch to study for a test? Good thing I have a sandwich just for you! Your pen broke? Which one do you want? Also will tell you all the tea.

Grim: Whenever he eats those blot crystals he suddenly knows all of the victims trauma which he reports to Yuu.

Yuu: Has serious conversations with Overblot victims. The best non licensed therapist.

Authors Note: It's 1:23 AM. I'm going to sleep.

[venbetta]

I'm not sure if anyone's ever thought about this or has made a post about it, but I figured I'd add my own two cents if someone did talk about this.

// Ruin spoilers ahead

mostly about Freddy

So, seeing that headless Freddy has prototype written on the bottom of his foot, it's suggested or even theorized that our Freddy (the one we're with in SB) was a prototype this entire time.

Of course, like many others, I was very skeptical and in denial about the idea because why the hell would that be a thing? How is he a prototype? It wasn't there on his foot in the base game, so why this sudden change?

I kinda hated it, and as a way to cope, I theorized that maybe it wasn't the same Freddy and FazEnt just replaced him with another copy and then abandoned him... don't ask me how that particular Freddy became headless either. Also I was wobbling between the "True Ending" being the Canon one, I was back and forth and just trying to figure out what would've made sense.

My logic for the True Ending being canon was, maybe Freddy and Gregory both got out (alongside Vanessa) with glamdaddy intact, and they're just living life. Meanwhile, Faz Ent just made a new Freddy while fixing the plex but gave up and left everything to rot. Of course I know now that makes no sense or explains why/how the 2nd Freddy lost his head, but it's what I came up with. The PQ Ending is technically canon... so that was a waste of a braincell, hah...

Since fnaf has the tendency to rewrite/add things to the story, I think our Glamrock Freddy being a prototype is something I've accepted. Now, there are a few things I thought of that might add to the idea of him being a prototype (not confirmed but more speculative).

He's a high-tech, sentient AI robot, he can clearly experience human emotion (like the other glamrocks) and has decent mobility. What most likely seperates him from the other glams is the fact that he experiences existentialism. I know we don't see much from the other glams, what they think of their current situation (not even from Roxy in Ruin), they aren't fully aware of what they are or what they're doing (as far as we know). Their programming is focused on being entertainers and birthdays.

I'm not gonna say that the other glams aren't able to express deeper thoughts, but I think this is where I might be stretching this idea just a bit.

If you're going to make AI bots who can adapt and be flexible with their environment, there's gotta be some kind of limit of what they can say/think/do. Freddy is the prime example of not having that limitation since we see/hear him express concern about not being the only Glamrock Freddy that's walking around:

"Have I always been a Freddy? Am I Monty with a different shell? What if I am not the first Glamrock Freddy? ... Do we all feel the same? Am I special? If I am mass-produced, am I still art?" (Endo Warehouse)

This motherfucker literally commits arson:

"You sure collected a lot of toys! Perhaps we can do something to stop whatever is going on here." (Fire escape Ending)

When he goes to the basement and encounters the blob, he goes on this monologue:

"I know what this is. I have been here before. She brought me here. I found myself for the first time when I cleared the path. I did not want to, but I had no choice. Now I have a choice. I have changed. My friends are here. They are so angry, confused. But I can protect you. I am not me." (True Ending)

He ultimately goes against some of his programming to help a child in need-- even lie to a security guard-- which if he were set to do as he's told, he would've sent Gregory straight to Vanessa, even with Gregory adamantly telling him not to.

If he were programmed to be strict and not break any protocols, he'd would've gotten Gregory killed immediately.

I'm saying this because if we're being realistic (realistic in terms of how we usually program robots and things), there are barriers in what a robot/ai can really say/do that doesn't break its programming. If he's a prototype, Freddy wouldn't have those barriers to stop him from saying/doing most of the things he did in SB. I know there's another factor to him behaving kindly to Gregory and that's him being in safe mode, but even still... you would think he would follow the rules and not let Gregory do certain things and perhaps unintentionally get the boy killed.

I'm going back to the existential crisis Freddy has, because for something that's meant to be an animatronic mascot for kids, you wouldn't want him to make the children around him question the meaning of being alive and sentient. There would have to be some sort of guard against having those kind of thoughts and ideas. It makes Freddy more interesting, especially if he could've been easily replaced with a finalized version of him that did what he was suppose to.

Also, I know it's probably more widely accepted that either Vanny or Gregory hacked into Freddy, causing his collapse during the opening. With him being a prototype, maybe his systems couldn't handle that type of an advanced hack, unlike the other glams, making him unable to be properly hacked into in the beginning.

Not only that, there are some issues he has with performing, who knows, maybe he's had collapses before. We don't know.

Him being unable to enter the West Arcade:

"When I step onto the West Arcade dance floor I cannot stop myself! It is a programming bug." (West Arcade)

I'm aware him being in safe mode meant he's disconnected from the main network as well keeps him docile. While the "Afton" fight isn't technically canon, with the other upgrades on Freddy, those parts might have made him more susceptible to the virus attack. There's not much evidence pointing to the other glams not being prototypes but seeing how they each have upgrades while Freddy doesn't, that might hint that the others were mostly finalized, meaning their systems were properly functioning (aside from the virus of course).

Sorry if this was super long, but it's something I thought about and I had to put it in words. Nothing about Glamrock Freddy is normal, like he's not possessed (I use to believe in the glammike theory but I don't anymore eh...), but he's a prototype! He's gonna act all funky because he's not polished yet... and I think that's very interesting and endearing (in an odd way).

[myowndesertplaces]

Laudna, for most of this campaign, has desperately wanted to avoid being defined by her trauma. She doesn't always do that in the healthiest way, but she tries.

So for her to say, "What if I feed it? What if I give in? What if I risk it consuming me?," is a change for her.

Laudna only seems to be able to navigate her trauma in the extremes, either compartmentalizing and avoiding it, or letting it over take her. One could argue that actually feeling her anger and need for control is in fact healthier than avoiding it, but I don't believe Laudna sees it that way. Plus feeling extreme emotions and acting on those emotions in a time of distress (ie. Bor'dor) is very different from choosing to actively "feed Delilah." There's clearly a healthier middle ground here, but she can't see it. If Laudna chooses to go down this path, will she lose herself? Or in losing parts of herself to Delilah, will she finally see the woman that Imogen, Ashton, and the rest of the Bell's Hells see? Will she see that she is also deserving of a future as much as Imogen and her friends are?

As frustrating as Laudna's character growth has been for many of us, I still believe Laudna forces us to examine some difficult questions about trauma. How do you move on from a trauma that strips you from your future, physically alters you, and your abuser never leaves you? What would healing and growth look like for that person? Can you get strength by tapping into that anger and grief at times?

Laudna's self-imposed limitations on her own future can make her feel very stagnant as a character. But the fact that she's discussing this with her friends suggests things are changing for her, for better or worse, and I think it's worth discussing (if it interests you of course). More importantly, it's worth discussing on its own merits outside of the context of what this means for Orym and Orym's choices, or any other member of the Bell's Hells. If folks want to defend Laudna when another PC wonders if Delilah can help, we should be willing to talk about what it might mean for Laudna when she says it herself.

[biniminisblog]

wish you were mine | yang jeongin drabble

pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader ft. brother!seungmin

genre: angst, forbidden love, brother’s bestfriend

word count: 0.6k

a/n: i know i said i wasn’t gonna post for a while but i just came back from school after hours of dance practice and inspiration suddenly kicked in. ig my mind works better when i feel like dying lmao. its also probably why its angsty lol. as always reblogs/replies and feedback are very much appreciated, thank you! and stream social path ‼️

you’re crying. you’re crying and it's all his fault. you were only supposed to be seungmin’s younger sister, even so, jeongin knows that falling in love with you was inevitable. however, he also knows that it’s forbidden. which is why he just stands there, watching you cry as he continues to lie to you. he lies that he’s not in love with you. he lies that he’s never thought of you everyday. he lies that you’re just seungmin’s younger sister to him. everything he’s said are lies yet he can’t seem to stop it.

“please jeongin just give me a chance! i promise i can give you the love you deserve.” he knows you can. in fact, you have already given him more than what he deserves while also simultaneously stealing his heart in the process. the very same heart that is now burning with anguish because of you—no, because of him. he could never blame you of his stupid actions, you were too perfect in his eyes.

he’s the one who messed up. he led you on for months, flirting and teasing each other, only for him to claim he never had feelings for you.

“oh, my sister? she can be a pain the ass sometimes but i love her. why? you like her or something?”

“what? pfft no of course not!”

“good because she’s off limits, wouldn’t want my best friend dating my own sister. gross.” he recalls his and your brother’s conversation, and although it was intended to be a lighthearted joke, jeongin knows seungmin was being serious. just a reminder that he could never be with you.

“i’m sorry yn.” his apology seems to have calmed you down a bit. you’ve probably realised that maybe he wasn’t worth it after all and although it hurts, he won’t deny it. he knows you deserve someone better than him anyway. someone who can say what they truly feel without hesitation. you nod slowly, and just as he thinks you’re about to walk away, you suddenly lunge forward and attack him with a hug. it startles him, making him stumble a bit but he regains his balance. you’re hugging him, and in that moment, hope begins to bloom in his chest. jeongin thinks that maybe, just maybe, he can ignore the fact that you’re his best friend’s sister, and you both can finally do what you’ve always wanted.

“let’s stay like this, even just for tonight, please. then i promise i won’t bother you again.” you whisper, and just like that, all hope is crushed within a split second. of course you wouldn’t fight for him, that would be selfish of him to think. even he didn’t put up a fight, he just gave up the moment seungmin told him so.

despite this, he nods at your request, finding it hard for him to say no. it was hard enough to reject you, he doesn’t want you to get hurt any more than he’s given you. with that, jeongin wraps his arms around your waist, and you snuggle closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. at this close proximity, he can smell the perfume he was sure was his. he knows it’s his because you would steal it even though you try to deny every time he asks. he smiles endearingly at your fond memories together. jeongin was going to miss your beautiful smile and looks that were only reserved for him. he hoped that in another universe, you guys would be together without any care in the world, just happy to be in each other’s arms.

jeongin wishes you weren’t seungmin’s sister. he wishes you were just a random person who he happened to stumble upon and fall in love at first sight. but life is unfair like that and all he can do is suck it up and try to move on, even though he knows he never truly will. still, just for tonight, jeongin would pretend you were his and he was yours.

[smolbean-17]

When DBB was asked what his emotional reaction was to the final script and final pages of the season, this was his response:

“The emotions that are in play are real, human emotions, not just one of being a family member or a friend, but also of being a father, a father to a daughter… And so, not to get into it too much, there’s a lot of authenticity that’s in play with how the season finally, in its epilogue, plays out. And it’s very affecting and it’s very beautiful and um, I’ll defy you to avoid tears.”

SO. This could mean one of many things.

The “father” thing makes me think that the finale will play into Hunter’s particular emotions, since he’s been slated as the primary father-figure since day one.

I think he’s talking about Hunter, and him having to let Omega go in some way. Whether that means he lets her go because he dies, and he has to give up that responsibility to someone else (Crosshair), or he lets her go because she wants to take a different path. Maybe she wants to leave because she doesn’t want her family to be in danger anymore.

The fact that there’s an epilogue tells me they will show a time skip at the end. Probably showcasing where Omega is years in the future.

I honestly think it’s one of these two possibilities. What do you guys think?

[httpsbearily]

18+ request!!

Would you be able to do something with Niru from AFK Journey, please? Maybe some body inspection, Niru completely fascinated by the Readers anatomy, finding out all the "sweet spots" that make the Reader go completely insane before eventually giving the Reader exactly what it needs?

Hope you can do something with that, thank you!! <3

☆*: Doctor’s Diagnosis

[Tags]: niru x reader | GN reader | smut

Minors Do Not Interact

[Author’s Note]: my very first request yippiee!!! I was super excited to write this omg you have no idea. Just one thing: if Niru appears in the story then I have yet to meet him so Im soooo sorry if he's OOC. Also, I hope this is what you meant by body inspection because I got a little carried away with the graveborn x human trope mmm yummy

Exhaustion weighed down your body, seeming to anchor every step you took and making you fight to your life’s end just to raise them. You didn’t even know where you were or were you were going—your conscious abilities had shut down some time ago and your body was relying solely on its instinct to survive. Despite the fact that the deep wound on your shoulder hadn’t stopped bleeding since it was struck on you, your hazy mind had accepted the warmth the blood had provided as it soaked your clothes…it almost felt peaceful, like an embrace.

In full honesty, your current state was the consequence of your own brash actions. All your life you had dreamt of holding a title of a knight in the Heroic Order; With blood, sweat, and tears you had trained devotedly. You had braved dark nights out in nature to hone your perceptive skilled, you had braved each season for the sake of sharpening your archery skills, you had even braved the loneliness that came with a life’s dedication to nothing but the bow. You thought you were ready. You thought you all but had an official H.O. title ranking. You thought you dreams would finally become a reality.

But you thought wrong.

“You excel at the bow,” the overseer of the campaign had told you, “but without a sword you’re as good as dead in a war. Even master archers rely on a blade to defend themselves in a breach of defense.”

And just like that your world had came crashing down. You had spent all your life perfecting the art of the bow-and-arrow that the thought of swordsmanship had never even crossed your mind. To think that a piece of metal would be your downfall….you wouldn’t let it.

With Dura as my witness, you had sworn to yourself, I will become a knight.

So [stupidly] you had left the campaign grounds, went home, packed a backpack full of essentials, and left Holistone. On your way out of the city you purchased a black iron sword from some blacksmith; It took you some time to adjust to the weight of it. It was much different from the bow, especially with its weight distributed in a way that was a complete opposite to what you were used to. Without so much as a goodbye to family and friends—sending Dura a prayer in askance that she keep them safe —you marched down the dirt paths of Espiria and willed yourself not to turn around. You would be back soon, you were determined to grasp the sword art faster than you had a bow.

With this misplaced confidence you thrust yourself into battles blindly, starting off with one of the lower threat hypofiends and slowly leveling up once your ability increased. All things considered, your situation was going fine. You hadn’t suffered any major injuries in the weeks you had been gone, and you had picked up a sword trick or two. Really, you had progressed just as you’d hoped. The problem now was fighting real threats.

Of course all this time you wandered the lands you had kept your bow and quiver securely attached to you back just in case, but you had not used them once—you didn’t let yourself. Perhaps that was the tipping point of your downfall. When you had stumbled into a gurgling camp, you hadn’t noticed the massive leader resting in the shadows with its barbed club. You didn’t notice it until it was too late. In the midst of fending off the hoard of smaller gurgling, the leader had roared and swung its weapon into you. Because it was dramatically large, you had [miraculously] managed to avoid a killing strike with a last second dodge, but at the same time, one of the barbs had caught your shoulder. The metal point tore into your skin, ripping a deep gash from your collar bone to the end of your shoulder blade. Immediately you had cried out in agony, but the adrenaline coursing through your body had allowed you to switch your sword to your other hand and swing the blade at the hand of the leader. Although you had missed a critical strike, you had deferred the leader enough for it to pull its club away and step back in a dodge. Within that split second you had turned and sprinted away.

For a short while you heard the gruglin gang chasing after you, but once you had successfully escaped you slowed to a walk. At first, the searing heat of your wound had you nauseous with pain, but you could only heave out hoarse gasps and trudge forward to find a safe place to tend to yourself. After what felt like hours though, you seemed to forget the pain. In fact, you had begun feeling like you were out on a casual stroll back in Holistone. If it weren’t for the intense tiredness that wracked your body, your dizzy mind trick you entirely.

Rest, your body screamed at you, rest rest rest.

Keep moving, you willed back.

But it came to a point where you could no longer hold yourself up and collapsed on the ground. You lay motionless, panting shallowly and staring blankly up into the night sky. The stars were quite beautiful tonight, you wondered if your family thought so too.

Minutes passed with you simply admiring the constellations like this, you had even reached your arm up to trace some out with your fingers. The sound of leaves crunching under soft footsteps almost escaped your awareness—almost. With a start you jumped to your feet and held your iron sword in front of you in a defensive position.

“Who’s there?” You demanded in question, straining your eyes to see in the night.

“How peculiar,” a grave voice said, “you hold a sword in front of you, but your body is not designed for it.”

It felt like the voice was coming from all directions and you felt you heart rate pickup. With darting eyes, you began to slowly spin around in search of the intruder.

“My body design is of no matter to you. Leave, now. I don’t wish to harm you.” You spoke, but you didn’t know to who and it was raising your stress levels, making you dramatize the threat the longer this went on.

“It matters more than you think. Let me have a closer look.”

Before you could think about their words, you felt cold hands grasp your forearms. You let out a noise of surprise, dropping your sword as you moved in attempt to escape—however, the hands were like an iron grip. It was like your thrashing was futile as the hands stretched your arms out away from your body, moving them like this was some sort of skeletal examination.

“Hey, get off of me!” You exclaimed.

“Hmm…yes, I see. Your arms hold strength here,” as the voice spoke, the cold hands massaged with pressure the muscle connecting your forearm to your inner elbow before moving to your tricep in emphasis to his words, “and here. These are not the points of a swordsman.”

“What are you, some kind of doctor?” You sneered.

“Yes, my life’s work. I can tell your design is quite perfect, even your soul is quintessential. Yes. You’ll be exemplar.” The hands finally let you go so you swiveled around. Before you stood a tall—extremely tall—man. From a glowing green lantern he held you could see that he was…otherworldly to be quite frank. He had long gray hair that reached his waist and he was dressed in some kind of black skirt that was so long it dragged on floor, covering even his feet. His shirt—top…armor…?— was black as well and matching to his skirt, both of which appeared to have ghoulish green accents. To his left stood a large scythe that he seemed to plant in the ground so that it could stand on its own. Even that weapon showed a pattern sporting the same glowing green color. On his head he wore a black crown with, surprise, green stones. What shocked you the most, however, were his magnificently green eyes which were quite literally glowing.

A quick and fleeting thought crossed your mind, transcendent, but you shooed it away by narrowing your eyes at the self-proclaimed doctor.

“What are you talking about? My soul? Who are you?” You interrogated, willing yourself to not get too carried away with your admiring.

“I don’t particularly like it when my patients incessantly chatter. It disrupts my examination.”

You crossed your arms, “Some doctor you are. I’d call it a quack.”

The man only grinned—at least you thought so, he seemed to have a permanent wicked smile on his face—and brought his hands together in a shape that looked like he held an invisible orb. As if directing some kind of energy to the center of them, the space in between illuminated a soft white color. “Souls are the most vital organ of a body. Most burn yellow, but yours is white. Why is that? I must find out.”

Then the soft glow went out, and it felt to go pitch black for a split second before you felt those cold hands around you once again. Soft wisps of green hue flowed around you but for some strange reason you weren’t nervous. If anything, you had never felt more relaxed. Because of this you had allowed the hands to feel your skin, simply watching as the man moved your joints and felt along where your veins would trail.

“Why are you so interested in my soul?” You quietly asked, not wanting to disturb the focused man.

“Souls are life.”

You didn’t understand, only raising and eyebrow in curiosity as you gazed on, “You want life?”

“No. To be mortal is to be weak. My purpose is to understand the strength that comes from mortality,” he told you. “The brighter the soul the stronger the bond to life, and yours is blinding. Do you not wish to have power?”

“What are you on about? I don’t see anything.”

“You will. Once I complete my work. Where is your bow?”

“My bow—how did you know I wield a bow?!”

You looked up at the man with surprise only to find him interested in your shoulder. He pressed his fingers into the joints of them and you shuddered.

“After so many years spent on a battle field, you learn to recognize traits. Strongpoints. How fascinating, you can mark death with an arrow yet stab with a blade. What is it? Passion? Duty? Your design is mixed, impure. There’s not many I’ve seen like this,” The more the man spoke, the more his voice dropped until he had begun to mumble to himself more than speak to you. He released his pressure on your shoulder joints and instead trailed his hands down to your back following the edge of your shoulder blades. As their path lowered, his fingertips pressed certain points into the skin and each one caused your breath to skip.

One particular spot had you flinch away with a gasp, to which the doctor hummed, “how interesting…”, while pressing into it again it again.

“Hey!” You yelped, moving to escape the surprisingly sensitive feeling. But the man put one hand on your waist to keep you locked in place, not even giving you a sign that he had paid attention to your feelings. As he stood behind you, his hands roaming along your back, you couldn’t help but heighten your senses. Only being able to see him if you turned your head, you switched to rely on your hearing and feeling—not your best move. Not when you’d always felt particularly ticklish on your back.

You continued to squirm in his grasp, your heart rate beginning to pick up the more he massaged into the sensitive points on your back. When he spoke up again, finally, his voice was near your ear, “Show me your aim position.”

“W-what?” You stuttered, “I…don’t have my bow. It broke during battle.”

“Your body remembers the pose, even without it. Show me,” he instructed you, growing more cold as he did so.

So you did. When his hand released your waist, you adjusted yourself in a way that looked like you were pulling back the string of your bow. He made a noise of approval and quickly went back to checking you out. You still weren’t sure what he was doing but you were at least thankful that he seemed less and less like a threat to your safety.

“What do you feel here,” he asked, not giving you a second to process his question before he dug his fingers into your rib cage. Immediately you had faltered in pose, and he tusked.

“Stay still and hold your position.” But he repeated the movement and you bit your lip to give yourself strength.

“It feels,” you searched for a word, “tender.”

“Here?”

“…I don’t feel affected.”

“Here?”

“Nothing.”

He made a noise of discontent, pulling back his hands altogether as considering you with thoughtful eyes still standing behind you. It stayed like this for a few seconds, making your curiosity grow. You wanted to ask again, but his expression seemed like he wanted nothing but to be concentrated. How long would this go on for exactly? You weren’t sure what time it was, but it wouldn’t be night forever and you had to be on your way.

Just as you were about to voice your concerns, his hands shot out to hold your neck while his thumbs pressed into a highly vulnerable spot. A sensation shot through you and you accidentally let out a whimper—to which your face flushed but you didn’t dare move to cover it with your hands. Chancing a look at the mysterious doctor, you realized that he had a satisfied grin on his face.

Without warning, he flitted his mouth over the spot he had found, replacing his hands for his teeth as he bit into it lightly. A shudder wracked your body and you were almost sure that you had whined. The doctor didn’t seem to mind your behavior though because he continued to graze your skin, his right hand still holding the side of your neck as he kept you still with it. His left hand slithered under your shoulder and over your chest so that he could grasp your jaw with it and tilt it upwards to expose more of your neck.

A strange feeling had began to curl up inside you, it felt like a mixture of warm pleasure and cool emptiness. You didn’t really understand it, but with your growing fuddled mind, you only pushed it away.

“There,” the doctor said when he finally pulled away, “A crack in the surface. But I’ll need more. Tell me, where else are you so sweet?”

He dropped his hands to your wrists, holding one in each to feel the pulse. You didn’t offer any words, still trying to keep up with the turn of events—but it wasn’t as if he was expecting you to. Nothing deterred the man as he dragged his fingertip fairly up your arms, not stopping even when he reached your shoulder and began moving downwards. Tickled by his light touch on your waist, you had tensed your muscles, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of him pressing into the inner softness of your pelvic bone. Never before had you realized how fragile the nerves there would be with someone else’s touch against them. Although it hadn’t been as significant as your neck, the doctor still seemed pleased with the elicited response. He crawled his fingers across the lowest expanse of your abdomen with an interested hum.

“Getting colder it appears,” he murmured into your ear from behind and you could faintly feel his lips against the tip.

You gnawed your lip—wether in anticipation or overstimulation you couldn’t tell, you only knew that you were turned on and had the increasingly soaking wetness in your pants as obvious evidence.

The man held confidence in all his actions as if he was so sure of his behavior with you and how to map you out. Through his trial and error, he found his hands creeping underneath the fabric of your bottoms. With a smile full of intentions that could feel against your skin, he lowered his mouth to lick against the nap of your neck. He knew where one weak point was that would have your soul leaking out, but he wondered if there were more—and if so, where? As a researcher, he would only have his answers through one method: experimentation.

With his large scythe still situated in the ground somewhere nearby it provided a low glow that somewhat helped you to see. The light of it allowed you to look down to watch as the doctor’s hands disappeared beneath your clothes. It was electrifying to feel his hands nimble around the perimeter of your groin without actually being able to see it, and with the [surprising] warmth of his tongue dragging across the back of your neck you had began to let out sighs.

You squirmed against the man, only now realizing how cages in you were trapped within his arms and held close to his front. A small voice in the furtherest shadow of your brain had told you that you didn’t even know who this man was, but it was easily overwhelmed by said man’s presence. Was it so wrong to indulge in spontaneous? It’s not like you were defenseless, you were sure you still had your sword around…somewhere. Not like it mattered, it must have been your luck that brought the wickedly good-looking doctor your way.

“Tell me,” the man’s gravely voice said against your neck. “How does this feel?”

He fingers pressed into the grooves of your inner pelvic where a dip lie between the hip and the leg. You tried to adjust yourself—his hands were so near. So near yet so far. If you could only shift just a little then you would be able to—

“Focus on me, my dear. I need answers.”

You felt frustration well up inside you, “Not good”. Furrowing your eyebrows a little you moved your own hands to grasp his forearms. “Not enough.”

“No? Then how about here?” As he spoke, he moved his hands even further away from where you wanted him most to, instead, grip your thighs. His action made you huff out in protest.

“You say you’re a doctor, but you make your patients suffer. How does that work,” you told him.

“A good doctor must throughly know his patient’s body. Only then could he fully understand,” he countered.

You let your head fall back against his chest, tightening your grip on his arms slightly in signal for him to get serious. He didn’t take it. Instead he chose to move to the fullest part of your hips so that his hands could hold onto them lightly. This far, you couldn’t tell if he was messing with you or not; With his quest for understanding having been obvious since the first few seconds of your encounter, you also noted that the more reactions he pulled from you the more he diverted from that path. Sure you could always take initiative and use your own hands to please yourself, but something about his cool, sharp, and large-in-comparison hands just seemed like you would get off more with them guiding you. Just the thought alone had you press wing your legs together.

The ends would justify the means, so you endured his explorations. Even if it meant becoming pent up.

“Speak up, I’d like to know the results of my efforts,” he told you.

“Results? Your efforts are not paying off. Perhaps you should try harder.”

He chuckled with a raspy tone and pressed his hands into your hips tightly. “I am not shy to failure. But I won’t accept it.”

To show the truth of his words he moved his hands back down to your heat, pausing for a second to say, “Silence will not benefit you. Tell me how it feels”, before he suddenly pinched the skin of your most sensitive area. You cried out at the feeling, caught off guard by the unexpected pleasure; Your hands gripped tightly on his forearms as you steadied yourself. When he didn’t let go, you remembered his words and quickly spoke through heavy breaths, “it hurts…in…a good way…”

“Good.” And then he released you. He gave you a moment to breathe before he began to suckle on that sweet spot on your neck in tandem to his hands beginning to rub your leakage up and down your slit. You gasped out in pleasure, moaning out softly to finally have some relief; Not forgetting the rules, you tried your best to speak through the stimulation. “It feels good….”

“Hm, that much I could tell. Be a little more descriptive with your words,” he told you.

If you could, you would have given him a threatening look that—hopefully—would have told him to let you revel in your satisfaction, but you couldn’t. You could only do as he said lest you find out what he meant when he said being silent wouldn’t help you. Closing your eyes, you said, “Pleasurable…hot…satisfying.”

No one had told you before how hard it would be to try to summon a dictionary in your head during these moments. There was only so many ways you could describe “good” without needing to stop and think about it. You’d prayed it was enough for the man because you didn’t want him to stop.

“Yes, that’s good. It matches to the behavior of your soul. Still, you are a stubborn one. Why won’t you let go?”

You arched your back against his front, your hips bucking against his hands as you chased the warm feeling. His words didn’t register with you and you didn’t offer a response to him. Luckily for you, he’s question was rhetorical, and instead of punishing you for your lack of words, he moved to that one of his hands continued its assault on your nerves while the other began to prod a finger into your hole. A louder moan fell from your lips when you felt the intrusion. You could help it. Your body was being worked on from three different spots, all of them as pleasurable as the next which made the tension in your core coil tighter.

“What do you hide inside that makes you clench so tightly around my finger? Could it be the sweetest spot of them all? Is it the button to your undoing?” His words were murmured against your skin, making his voice sounds so much closer to your ear which only made you shiver. With your eyes closed, your hearing had become sharper and your perception to his touch was intensified. It only served to push you further to the edge as you squirmed to try to get his fingers inside you. You were sure you looked wrecked; Panting and moaning like you had been born for it, your lips swollen and red from your teeth biting down onto them, even sweat had begun to form on your forehead. It was a reflection of how you felt.

Searing pleasure was coursing through your veins and you all but rode his fingertip as your hips humped against his hands. “Find out,” you breathed, “aren’t you the doctor?”

“A path to answers wouldn’t be so obvious. Perhaps I was mistaken.” He said, behaving as if he had been dissuaded by your eagerness and beginning to pull his hands away.

“No!” You interjected, clutching his arms even tighter as you worked to keep him in place. “Don’t. Please.”

If you could see him behind you then you would see the way his eyes glowed a brilliant green, his grin downright sinful as he peered down your neck to the bottom of your front where his hands hid beneath your clothes. He could hear his scythe thrumming with energy as you squirmed in his grasp—your soul glowing more intensely in his vision. Never one to admit it to any other but his own mind, the man had reveled in your reactions. Making a noise of consideration, he trailed his sharp nails against the skin of your sensitive area half in part to continue his “research” and half in part to make you beg. He was sure it would be the cherry on-top. Not only had he found a soul like none other, it turns out the human attached to it was quite not bad…it wasn’t often a well-rounded existence fell into his grasp. The man wondered about all the possibilities on which this would end, how he would end it. If he wanted to at all that is. After all, time was nothing he was short of; It was almost disappointing the same couldn’t be applied to you.

“Shall we see?” He finally responded, his voice almost gruff in mixture of his gravely tone and low volume. Finally settling his mind, the man bent to your pleading and immediately knew it was the right decision.

You had sucked in a breath, one arm reaching up to throw itself around his shoulder and clutching onto one of the spikes on his shoulder armor. Unaccounted for, the length of his fingers alone was enough to fill you up, the inconspicuous danger of his nails against your walls only fueling the fire that raged inside you. Not even seconds passed before the doctor was moving inside, unabashedly searching for the most sensitive bundle of nerves for whatever reason only he knew. Whimpered fell from your lips, and when he reattached his lips to your neck, they transformed into heavy moans. After all his assaults on your sweet spots before, you were already on edge. You didn’t know how much time had passed but it had felt like hours. Conflicted between not wanting this feeling to end and wanting that delicious release, you shifted your weight to start lifting and dropping yourself in rhythm to his fingers.

The man had spoken to you, saying something about the taste of your soul, but you couldn’t focus on his words. Instead, you could only focus on the way his long hair tickled your face as it had fell over your shoulder all the way to the peak of your chest. You wanted to hold it, to pull on it, but worried that it would make the man stop. Fighting the urge, you bit your lip and instead dug your nails into his skin.

“How lovely, look at it. What a simple press of my fingers does to you. A fascinating design indeed. I almost want to keep you.”

Sobs of pleasure prevented you from replying to his nonsensical words but neither of you could have cared less in the moment. You were too busy feeling the knot in your core tighten to impossible tension and the doctor was otherwise preoccupied by his interest in your body.

“‘M close,” you had whispered.

“Release it. Show me what you are.”

To punctuate his words, the man pressed harshly against the spot inside you that had your toes curling and back arching. Moaning loudly enough for nearby cities to hear, you felt yourself crash over the edge. Tears brimmed your lashes as pleasure disrupted all other function of your body making you go stiff against the ghostly man, already too overwhelmed to try to ride out your high. Your juices soaked your pants that you had forgotten you still wore despite knowing they were never off to begin with.

“Yes,” The doctor hissed with satisfaction, pulling his hands out of you and your bottoms you examine them in the night light. Glistening with his essence, his fingers rubbed together to feel the slick. “This will do.”

Before releasing you, the man had helped lower you to the ground as exhaustion overtook you. Laying on the ground situated in your back, you hazily gazed up at the tall individual noticing that he held his scythe in one hand already.

“You’ve persuaded me. It’s not your time yet, your soul is still unripe. I will come back for you later so remember my name, Niru. Remember it—your mine to take.”

You didn’t realize that the world around you was slowly getting dark as he spoke, and you only just barley caught his name.

Niru…

Blackness surrounded you for what felt like eternity but milliseconds at the same time. When you regained consciousness, you were still laying on the ground. All the pains of your body before losing consciousness hit you like a meteor and you hissed. On instinct you cupped the wound on your shoulder which had finally stopped bleeding but still thrummed with a stinging pain. Faintly, you could still feel the fingers in your wounded arm move and you sighed in relief.

After the passing inspection of your arm, you swiveled your head around the surrounding area. Not even the ground you sat on showed signs of another presence. There were no footprints, not glowing light, not even the cool atmosphere. In fact, after looking back at your body, you noticed that not even your clothes were different than how they were from before.

A dream, you slowly realized and you couldn’t tell why so much disappointment filled your heart. For someone who was at death’s door some time ago, you didn’t seem to appreciate your miraculous survival. A dream…how foolish.

Berating yourself you struggled to stand, putting as little stress on your shoulder as possible when you bent down to pick up your forgotten sword and broken bow. It took your shifting to make you realize that your pants were soaked.

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

medialog february 2k24

is it almost april. yes. am i letting that stop me. no. the perfect is the enemy of the good!

watched

she must be seeing things - a 1987 indie about a woman who gets obsessively jealous about her girlfriend's past after discovering her collection of photographs of ex-boyfriends; this movie contained one of the most human-feeling love scenes taking place between two characters in an established relationship i have ever seen, and captured the feel of new york city apartments inhabited by the un-rich in a visceral way. it is also a funny movie about how annoying artists are. i am like sincerely curious as to whether jonathan larson, during the years before or while he was developing rent, caught a screening of this (it had its premiere at film forum, where i saw it), because a story of sexual jealousy between a very professional black lesbian lawyer and her irritating yet captivating white bisexual artist girlfriend... did feel a little familiar to me as a person who could still belt out every line of take me or leave me in my sleep, ngl!

poor things - we've discussed this but: Yes. Me. Absolutely. i wanted to live in the world of this movie forever, it could have been four hours long and i NEVER say that shit. one of those where sometimes i see critiques or queries i think are valid and i nod peacefully and think: ah, but it wasn't for that; it was for me, to have a treat. also one of those where people are saying some bonkers ass shit about it all over the place, as we have also discussed; i do genuinely believe that reading it as in any way interested in or convinced it is describing a story of female empowerment is deeply misguided, and that much of the pleasure of the movie comes from the fact that bella doesn't need to be empowered, because she has been lucky enough to be raised as an experiment rather than as a woman, which is a fun sexy provocation that is of course nonsensical if taken literally but incredibly fun for me (the person this movie was for) to sit with for two hours.

office space - i watched this in high school and HAAAATED it, was bored out of my mind, and then every time it came up in conversation, which it did a lot because this is how things were in high school in 2005, i would say i didn't get it and the person i was talking to would say, "you have to watch it twice." i don't think i've ever had an experience with a piece of media where the response to my response was so reliably uniform. anyway yeah this is funnier the second time. stephen root might be our greatest living actor idk

drive-away dolls - YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCHHHHHHHH

the heartbreak kid - elaine may's mikey and nicky is one of the most emotionally brutal films i've ever watched, but i think i found this harder to sit through. it's brilliant - i talked about it with a friend who'd seen it sometime earlier who said it was the first movie she could remember seeing that confronted men's fantasies so directly, which is apt - but absolutely excruciating. i never really understood what the film people were talking about when they talked about the use of cuts to build/release tension until the scene at a restaurant where a guy keeps winding himself up to break up with his wife on their honeymoon, and not doing it, and the camera just makes you stay with him until you are begging for relief.

sex, lies & videotape - rewatch with director's commentary. steven soderbergh is definitely on the list of famous people i delusionally believe i could be friends with if the circumstances of life had caused our paths to overlap.

zone of interest - another one that has really Brought Out The Takes, about which i'll just say: no one in this movie is turning a blind eye to what they're doing with the possible exception of the mother, who's happy to join in with some chattily murderous antisemitism but finds the material reality of it too distasteful to stay (in at least one potential reading of a plot point left interestingly ambiguous). personally i thought the film was (1) almost completely disinterested in the question of the banality of evil (2) quite good.

mission: impossible - i talked my friend into going through the series with me and we started off with a double-header; the colors in this movie are sooooooo good. tom cruise at this point has obviously had work done by xenu's finest specialists but revisiting this did remind me that he actually also genuinely always has looked quite young for his age - he's 34 in this but he looks like a baby.

mission: impossible - 2 - i literally can't believe there are people who don't like this movie. grow up

read

monster midway: an uninhibited look at the glittering world of the carny, william lindsay gresham - i guess i don't know what i expected from a nonfiction book about the carnival by the author of nightmare alley, the great american novel, but it definitely wasn't 300 pages about how the carnival is the most special and wonderful place on earth and the people who've given their lives to it are the noblest, boldest, most magical folks you can find. i particularly enjoyed the section on palmistry as cold-reading, which included a long quote from fake psychic about how really most people just need to be told some basic emotional truths and to believe in themselves, so if she can give them that, that's a dollar well spent, which is tbh hard to argue with.

listened

rosie tucker - tiny songs vol. 1 - rosie tucker came onto my radar through one of dave's mixes, which i'm still listening to - her song "all my exes live in vortexes," which opens "i hope no one had to piss in a bottle at work to get me the thing i ordered on the internet," caught my ear - and while i haven't delved further into her discography, i did love this 12-track, 10 minute album (not a typo!), which gives you the sense of someone spitballing an idea for a song just long enough to start it, then losing interest and moving on to the next one, but in a good way? idk it's fun and weird and only 10 minutes!

[blatterpussbunnyfromhell]

Did Silver kill Flint?

I keep seeing cold ass takes in the Black Sails side of tumblr that make my blood boil.

Look, I got into Black Sails in 2017, three weeks after the finale aired. Back then, there seemed to be an understanding that the "Silver killed Flint" interpretation was just a fringe theory from straight people made uncomfortable by the queer lead getting a happy ending. Personally, it was my first encounter with the phrase "unbury your gays" (having learnt "bury your gays" a year earlier with The 100). It seemed to be generally accepted that Flint lived, and that this was the whole point.

Now, it would appear that a shift has happened in the fandom, where the idea of Silver killing Flint is no longer treated as a theory by straight weirdos but as a canon, onscreen event, and these posts come from queer fans. It seems to come from younger fans who were about 12 or 13 in 2017. It's so mindboggling to me.

The arguments for this Silver-Killed-Flint thing is usually the same two: birds flying away and Silver's men turning around in the forest, as in reaction to a noise, which is interpreted as a gunshot.

Like, I'm just elaborating on a rant I sent to my friends earlier today here but, if Silver killed Flint, then :

Why would we be shown an entire sequence with one of Silver's henchmen looking for Thomas where he is?

If Thomas and Flint are dead, why aren't we shown their deaths? It's an actual rule in cinema that a character whose death isn't shown on screen isn't dead, a rule that the show does follow (we see Billy's funeral but not his corpse). Besides, Black Sails doesn't shy away from showing death on screen, even for main characters. Then, why not show how Thomas died instead of telling us? Why not show us Silver shooting Flint? The writers trust their viewers to understand the pattern, and understand that the reason we do not see their deaths is because they aren't dead.

Why would Silver bring up Thomas to Flint if he'd planned on killing him? Or if, as I've also seen it said, it was just a lie he made on the spot for Madi ?

And talking about Madi, I've seen A LOT of people saying she would never forgive Silver. And to that I genuinely have to ask, have you seen their last appearence in the show? I dont mean their argument in the cabin, I mean the scene where Silver sits on top of a hill and turns around to find Madi waiting for him on the path. I mean the scene where he walks towards her and she waits for him. So, my question here, if she wasn't gonna forgive Silver, why is she waiting for him on that hill? Nevermind the fact that Treasure Island's Long John Silver is in a relationship with a Black woman (I've seen posts saying that could be Max, and really wtf??), what is the point of showing us this scene if she's not gonna forgive him? Why not stop their arc at the cabin where she sends him away?

At the time when Black Sails' finale aired, Supernatural was still queerbaiting its audience, and Sherlock ended in a fucking shitshow. People were throwing fits over Bill Potts, Doctor Who's first ever onscreen lesbian companion because she was a lesbian with a masculine name. A year before that, The 100, a very popular tv show at the time, had just killed it's only lesbian character and faced so much uproar and backlash for it. (That was my entry into the LGBT+ community, by the way : the first character to make me think I might actually like women getting killed on screen two scenes after having had sex with the female lead). Sense8's two-hour long finale and Love, Simon wouldn't air for another year.

So yeah, if you weren't into queer media back in 2017 (and omg I sound like such an old twat), I don't think you can understand just how important that ending, with Flint being reunited with the love of his life after so much pain and loss, was.

If your interpretation of Black Sails is that the events of Treasure Island happened the way the book tells you, then I'm sorry to tell you this but you completely missed the point of the show.

[lesbiannancytruther]

MY stranger things unpopular opinions <3

ok nobody asked but these r my stranger things unpopular opinions, inspired by a tweet where people just shared super common and well accepted opinions instead of actual controversy lol

also half of these r gonna be ronance centered because they’re literally all i think about

- first and foremost, nancy is a lesbian. i think so many of her actions and struggles can absolutely be traced back to comphet and repression and i feel like people want to cling onto her romance with steve and jonathan as a way to justify her fondness for them, when i think she can just care about them because they’re her friends and they’re trauma bonded(tm)

- while i like steve and robin being besties as much as everyone else i feel like people overestimate how close they really are in canon. of course they’re best friends but they really aren’t overly dependent on each other like people interpret them to be. they’re best friends but they also function really well on their own.

- though there’s no denying that will has feelings for mike i sincerely doubt that those romantic feelings are reciprocated and i think people are way too confident that byler is gonna be canon

- elmax is miles better than almost every canon AND fanon relationship in the show (i’d argue jopper and lumax (and biased opinion ronance) are the only genuine contenders)

- while i make a habit of being overly critical of men i think people forget that the “grumpy dad” trope with hopper that they like so much comes with him being a total dick sometimes lol

- both jonathan AND steve were weird as fuck in season 1. y’all r having a mid-off when u argue jancy vs. stancy

- and by mid-off i mean stancy wasn’t as bad as y’all act like it was and jancy is not as good as y’all act like it is

- y’all infantilize the FUCK out of robin buckley and im SICK OF IT!! she’s incredibly smart and strong and u people act like she’s stupid/a pushover/a nervous little baby

- in general i think the ronance fandom likes to apply tropes to nancy and robin in a way that isn’t accurate to their characters. its a very common and predictable pattern and i think thats why a lot of fan works feel out of character (an example to this is people applying grumpy x sunshine to nancy and robin respectively and it just doesn’t fit)

- karen is not a good mother. i think everyone can agree karen is weird as fuck for the billy thing, but i see a lot of people argue for karen that she’s really grown as a mother but i’m not seeing it. i don’t doubt that she loves her kids but there’s a reason mike and nancy are Like That

- y’all made up a ton of steve’s personality traits. i’m all good with interpreting his character a certain way but if the reason you hate nancy wheeler is because she unknowingly poked at insecurity of steve’s that u made up i have 0 respect for ur opinions lol

- and on that note steve is pretty badly written. i don’t think his path to “redemption” was bad but he’s so far from anything special that the love he gets from the fandom astounds me

- luckily this opinion isnt as unpopular anymore but steddie was figment of fandom imagination and the fact that it rotted y’all’s brains so bad to the point where you convinced yourself eddie munson was actually really important is just so...

- if you make fruity four content without nancy because you don’t think she’s interesting enough you’re a loser

- byclair is literally SOOOO much better than byler the fact that y’all aren’t going to war for them is upsetting

- this better not be an unpopular opinion but ive been seeing more of it recently: if you think joyce byers is a bad mother block me rn

- any hate that eleven, max, and nancy get is almost ALWAYS rooted in misogyny

ok thats it i probably have more but i cant think of any </3

[forgottenarias]

ooc || stafford family history i guess?

@forgotteneilionora Kate this is so much rambling nonsense i hope it makes a small bit of sense lol

Stafford Parents Okay but I am LOVING the idea that their parents put a lot of importance in action-- I definitely think it makes a lot of sense for both sisters!!! I am imagining since their mother died so young were actively involved in their father's royal affairs as soon as they were old enough? (especially considering Eilia was the heir which would technically make aria the spare?? which aria DEFINITELY ignored at all cost-- she def would spiral any time she considered that possibility.) i was wondering if perhaps aria, when she was old enough too, took up the mantle of being a patron/etc to these different things/groups/etc around Astaira which had originally been her mother's! i feel like the court/friends/whatever had tons of stories about her mother (because Aria would've been like..2 years old when she died I think?) that she'd heard over the years and she was aspiring to be as good as her mother! i dunno where this would really come from (mostly their dad i guess?) but i think they were trying to push the idea that being a queen/ruling class is about caring for the country and its people and their happiness/safety reflects back on a successful monarchy ruler. (also now wondering if they considered themselves/the queen/king "gods chosen" in the same way roderick does-- it seems like maybe that's not how the old religion would really see them but that's neither here nor there really...)

also knowing that their dad died pretty early on and while they definitely have more memories of HIM that their mother I could see where the whole lot of them have this very idealized versions of both their parents in their mind that is almost impossible to live up to in some way? that might be part of the reason why she (and maybe eilia too?) has this very strange idea that she isn't doing enough to try and fix the situation they're all in thanks to roderick!!

and because this is sort of a stream of consciousness word vomit rambling thing i'm ALSO wondering if even though they had fairly good familial relationships, maybe there was not really a forum to express emotions/concerns/etc within the family unit which is why now Aria/Eilia are in this weird sort of 'i don't want to be a burden/i am a burden/i don't want them to feel like a burden!' cycle because they aren't really that great at expressing their emotions to each other?? the whole like "we have to be strong for each other/our country" and a kind of guilt trip "things could be WAY WORSE" sort of thing

Old Religion/Guardians/Etc so to then pivot to Aria's abilities... i think she has had the ability for as long as she can remember! my idea was She talked a lot about seeing things/creatures/etc as a kid and I image her family probably thought she was just a kid who had imaginary friends, etc… but then as she got older and the stories continued/she could better articulate exactly what she was seeing they were like “ohh okay, that’s not just imagination.” Knowing there’s sort of two paths to follow when one has the ability to see/sense the guardians— being okay with it or kind of going crazy— she was probably kept a bit more secluded for a time so that if she did go the crazy route, she wasn’t out in public raving like a loon. I DO think pretty quickly it was concluded she was not going to lose her mind BUT then her abilities set up another set of concerns— even though the idea of seers wasn’t necessarily treated as a crime in Astaira it still would open her up to being a target from foreign entities (#roderick) along with potentially being seen as promoting the “old religion” despite the fact Astaira had a more open view on people’s religions! so the decision was made that it needed to remain a secret amongst the family (which really wasn’t that hard honestly). also now thinking this all maybe happened not long before their father died so she was kinda struggling with coming to terms with this ability/what it meant while they're all in mourning and her older sister is now the queen! (which obviously meant aria saw her less and while i think aria always knew that was going to happen it was still a shock/hard thing for her to deal with and i think aria tried to step up and be that person for siobhan but never felt like she actually was any good at it!) buuut anyway I think she had to figure out a lot of this guardian business out for herself along with trying to keep it under wraps so again it’s a part of her life she MAYBE put some unnecessary pressure on??

(also on the same note going off all that awesome info regarding witches lizzy posted, i was also thinking that aria never had an powers manifest which could be potential drama in the future for everyone if something happened that WOULD make some power manifest-- especially depending on who that might happen in front of!)

anyway this is, like i said, semi insane sounding rambling about things and i'm always open to changing thoughts on ANY of this but yes... it is here XD

[lostsoulaltair]

Owari no Seraph Chapter 133 - Analysis & Review

Hello everyone, it's been a goddamn while; I've been busy with things, also learning constantly a new language; thus, given that I did like the latest chapter, I wanted to talk or discuss about it; as always, feel free to discuss, disagree, or share your thoughts; though of course, the only thing I request is respect.

Thus let's proceed

A destroyed world a talk about the "meaning of life" & "what it means to live". At the end, we're young.

The chapter might joke a lot between the girl's conversation which it might feel unnecesary or perhaps not worth it but given how the two characters were build; Shinoa is the type of character that does know when there's certain tension when someone is concerned about her.

But let's focus on something more important; the chapter begins with Mitsuba finally finding Shinoa who has been far away from her squad after Guren, Mahiru, Krul and company left to most likely the place where Yuu is.

Mitsuba after for so long finally made an appearance which is something I'm glad for; and as a good friend, she shows her concern given that she's never seen Shinoa act out of her usual demanor.

Something that I do find adorable is the very fact that Mitsuba is trying to be supportive given that there is a weight being carried on Shinoa's shoulders; while it's true Shinoa has never spoken about what she endured as a child; Mitsuba does want to understand her friend and no matter what might happen, they're there for her.

Thus leading to the next panel; Shinoa has always seen herself as a character with no value or rather, that thanks to her existance, the lives of innocents were screwed given that she was compatible with the monster that made sure the world ended in the way it is.

But once again, Mitsuba does convey the message of how Yoichi, Kimizuki and her feel towards her given that there's absolutely no one to reasure her that her life is as valuable as others.

And of course, we got the author with its weird interest on female bodies but; jokes aside from such panel; there's an aspect of truth to it. They are teenagers, they're no longer kids; they're characters that were forced to grow up at a very young age, forced to change to endure all the struggles of their surroundings to the point they had to mimic adults in a sense.

Many might find it pointless, boring, and perhaps even unrelated but the very fact that they touched the emotions of Shinoa does lead to a heavier topic.

Such topic is reflected in the next panel:

While it's true that Yuu has constantly talked about "a reason to live", "family", "friends", etc. Yuu does not know the weight of those words; he says he's going to save everyone, but in order to save somoene, there are consequences, losses and the sort in such path; nothing can be obtained for free in life and that's something that perhaps he might face eventually.

Returning with the squad, Mitsuba at first dismisses such question about the "meaning of life".

There is a huge relevance to the question; and this of course, reflects to the very first issue; that they've been working on how to save their lives that they haven't ever thought about themselves.

While it is very common to see that whenever someone says "that person thinks about themselves" it can come in a negative connotation; but that's not entirely the case; there's a difference between being selfish and understanding one's self.

When it comes to being selfish, it does relate about not caring a bit about what your actions may eventually do to others, how much harm you may cause due to them, willingly or not; it is literally dismissing a reason to as to why there may be something halting something one may want.

But, when it comes to understanding one's self; it is not only a superfitial level of understanding; it is knowing what one person may want, may long, may fight for, what may make them sad, what may anger them, etc.

In this case, Mitsuba realized that she has never given a deep thought to what she, as Mitsuba Sanguu truthfully wants. She grew up to be a soldier, to battle every time in order to protect those who couldn't protect themselves but with the development of the squad, it was not just a journey of sticking together, it was a journey of finding out that love can develop after getting to meet someone.

Eventually, Mitsuba does understand that it's not the typical joke mood or non serious conversation but rather a very important one.

In the next panel, Mitsuba's first longing or desire was to be acknowledged or to be validated. To be recognized; which of course, Shinoa mentions that she does understand that and it is true; Shinoa as a child did want validation from everyone or rather, instead of the term "validation", what it is more proper is "recognition or acknowledgement of existance".

True, in the current chapter Shinoa mentions she was luckier given that they never bothered with her; there's a difference between Mitsuba and Shinoa, which was showing what they could do in order to seek that. Mitsuba tried her best to show that she too held talent; alas with Shinoa, she simply ditched the idea, there was no reason to even fight about it.

But thanks to the very fact that she remembered what Mahiru did even if I too, agree that it was a really harsh method; she did know that at least someone cared about her existance.

Mitsu states that Shinoa was loved in contrast to her that no one loved her; which makes Shinoa to reasure her that she does love Mitsuba. And of course, while it's true that the original source uses the kanji Ai (愛) it does not carry a romantic context (Yes I've been studying if you wonder and there's still a longer way ahead).

Shinoa is reasuring Mitsuba that she too is loved; just like how Mitsuba expressed on her best way that Yoichi, Kimizuki and her cared about Shinoa's safety; Shinoa too knows that the squad itself cares about each other; after all, they're a small family that can only encourage each other to keep going.

But here comes something important that perhaps it might be to personal interpretation but Shinoa does state something important:

Because love exists for someone, it does not mean that's the sole reason to the meaning of life or for a reason to live.

What does that mean?

Us as humans, be in the different envioroments we end up growing, we end up finding purposes for our existance, sometimes it takes longer, other times we have certainty that we found out what we want to do with our lives; along such trail, we will find friends, perhaps a person we might fall in love; we might suffer about a heartbreak or two or so on; but despite that, it's a path we've chosen to walk because very independent of the bonds we forge along the way; there are things we want to do out there, we long for new experiences, new insights, new spots to visit, and of course, we can never suspend the time; we grow up, we mature, we gain interest in other things as we grow which is visible how from childhood, we change a lot when we become teenagers, so as adults too, we change.

In Shinoa's case, she is truthful that she does not find value to her life, given how many chains of events involving her lead to misfortune for others; but despite that, she is thankful that there are people out there that do love her despite the harm her existance may has brought up upon Earth.

Nevertheless, we get a follow up, once Shinoa expressed herself, Mitsuba asks her directly about Yuu's acknowledgement, recognition or validation. Which of course, she responds honestly to it.

It hurts; and it is natural that it hurts her; it's the first time she fell in love with someone but not in the same way Mahiru did, not in the same turn of events Mahiru went through; after all, it's something I'll discuss a bit further from here. Let's continue.

Shinoa eases the mood by asking Mitsuba about how she feels towards Yuu which of course she knows very well that she too has a crush on him. But despite that many might feel the conversation as pointless, there's something certain to the panel itself; it is letting the weight and torment of many mixed emotions go, finally opening up to someone who understands you, to have someone you can trust unconditionally.

The mood eventually soothes to the point the two of them are in peace; having talked about such things when they've never had the opportunity to act like teenage girls, it was a rather refreshing experience for them.

I can't say that's correct or not but even in movies that face the end of the world, characters tend to talk about things they long to do and the sort.

Once Mitsuba asks Shinoa about her first real reason to live; one could understand that it is left to free interpretation given that both girls are simply enjoying their youth; they still haven't found a very truthful reason as to why they're there but for now; they did understand something.

Life is not just about existance, it's more than just hoping validation or acknowledgment, it is akin to what exactly you want to experience, it is about what you want to do instead of what others want you to do.

This leads to the new path I've mentioned before and this shall be discussed in the next point

Moving onwards to a new goal

After a girl's talk; Mitsuba points out about Shinoa's talent that is way above Mahiru's; such talent has always been hinted since the LNs were created.

Shinoa mentions that given that at that time she lacked a motive along goals within her reach; and of course, even Shikama pointed it out that she lacked desires, there was not so much she could do despite being more powerful than Mahiru, nevertheless, Mitsuba is aware Shinoa has gained something she lacked from the very beginning. Confidence.

This leads for Shinoa to have a discussion with her squad, but of course, they were eavesdropping the girls; they gave them their privacy. While they too are clumsy, reckless, immature in general, they too understand that people need some time alone to recollect their thoughts; they understand that there are things that sometimes can only be discussed with a certain someone not because of a lack of interest but rather because there is something that can be conveyed way better.

But very independent of that, it just reflects that Yoichi and Kimizuki have been worried as well about the girls after Yuu's departure along Guren and Vampires.

The next scene is actually something I am rather thankful that I actually thought I'd never see in the story in general; and that is the very fact that they're taking independent action for once; they're no longer following Guren's orders, they're no longer following a vampire's guidance that ends up falling in Guren's hand or Shikama's; nor they are following Yuu's wishes but rather; they're trying to open up a new path but exclusively for what they do label as "family".

Within the squad members, Kimizuki, Yoichi and Mitsuba long to see their families back due to the unfair deaths they had; Shinoa despite not having someone to call family or rather simply accepting the course of nature; she does want to see her friends having their families back, she has seen them struggle, she has seen the desperation of Kimizuki, the longing of Yoichi to have a miracle granted. But instead of following someone else's agenda given that Guren and Mahiru do have knowledge that they simply won't share to the squad; it is the first step for them to walk and open a new path for them.

Shinoa is very aware that their knowledge is limited, along the fact that they're not on an equal ground in terms of power; but given that now she does have confidence and something else; as I mentioned briefly in the other point; Shinoa has a deep understanding that the actions her sister took, do not defind her present or future nor how she will eventually turn out; such outcomes are only decided by her alone and if she wants to create a path along her friends, she has to fight for it giving away for the first time, the real power she has within her.

The very fact that Kiseki-O and Gekkouin were manifested by force instead by their wielders says something about what Shikama sought with Shinoa, what could it be?

Correct. Shikama or Sika Madu, was once an angel that served God but due to his arrogance, he lost his path leading to his eternal punishment for it; but even still, even if the angels that fell with him deemed or viewed him as a God. There was something even the reincarnations of such Fallen Angels were never subjected to.

Absolute control.

And thanks to reading the RAW version of the catastrophe at 16 manga; the purpose of Mahiru and Shinoa at the beginning was to control the punishment the Seraph of the End experiment held. But in contrast to Mahiru; Shinoa was born capable to control demons, she was capable of seeing them from a very young age but given that she has motivation along an objective; that power finally has shined. Leading to a new battle:

Perhaps you, dear readers may wonder how Shinoa was able to connect with Shikama despite him sending her off or cutting their ties; and of course, she does mention there was a small connection; truth to be told; even if Shikama wanted, she was born with him; they were together ever since she came to existance, hence that even if he tried to severe his ties to her, there will be something chaining him down.

And of course, the battle between Shinoa and Shikama has begun

Shikama gave away his power for light BUT, given that Shinoa could devour such darkness; it can only lead this

All the power that came from God's light may be stored in Shinoa's body and as they say, even if darkness tries to consume light; light always finds a way to cast aside the shadows that darkness creates.

Quite long huh? What do you think?

Let me know!!

[wherewolfwasteland]

Apollo justice + some dual destinies (ace attorney spoilers and rant !!!)

I've cleared the game a little while ago and while there was some aspects i liked,overall I was very mixed . First of all I love phoenix and his character change , it makes things interesting and I don't mind that he just goes back to himself later in the game . I also really like ema skye and how despite her talent she didn't make it into the job she wanted , it's realistic and gives her even more character growth . The soundtrack and animations were beautiful as well and the first case was one of my favourite first cases (tied with the first case of trials and tribulations)

Now for the things i didn't like (there's a lot unfortunately)

- apollo justice: first of all I won't be the first or last person to say he was a side character in his OWN GAME but that's not all that I don't like about him . First of all it really annoys me when he points out people's nervous traits every single time. I understood the first time since it was new to the player but everytime after that? Its cringe . I'm sorry but if I were a witness and the defence attorney told me that I was playing with my hands when I was nervous or something , I'd make a conscious effort to stop doing it . Uggghhh so cringe . It makes all of the witnesses look stupid af . Another thing i don't like about him is how little we actually learn about him . I like how he deals with his own trauma (pushing it away) and even in dual destinies going his own path was very interesting. But his inner monologue was very lacking in personality or anything really. Honestly it sucks because I do like him as a base character but the fandom definitely made me like him, and gave him more characterisation then those two games ever did .

Trucy : don't get me wrong , she has her great moments and she's super cute (I do love her overall) but I have some issues as well . First of all I hate the fact they made her super pale , there are no black characters in ace attorney , and even though I understand her not being black , she could have been tanned like her father. I don't wanna hear no "ace attorney is made in Japan so no black people" bullshit. This game isn't very realistic in the slightest so when people use that as an excuse for lack of diversity it annoys me so much ! And one more thing I don't like about trucy is that she is used as a panties joke wayyyyyy tooooo muccchhhhh , I'm sick of the panties !!!! Give it a resttttttttttttt . Ah I do love her lots and lots though . Okay okay moving on .

Klavier : and this is going to piss people offfff i know!! Bur he is just really really boring!! Which is so unfortunate because he had all of the makings to be great . He's in a band (that's awesome!) And he has great charisma and presence. But over the game when though so much happens to him he just brushes it all off, and not in a pushing away his trauma like apollo way either. It's always going to be harder to portray a character the player doesn't get to play since we can't hear his inner monologue (which would have been so cool) but still - I mean his best friend / band mate and his own brother both turn out to be murderers and he literally does not care in the slightest . Don't even get me started on how weird he is in aa5 . Also the fact that he was supposed to be your rival throughout the game and he really wasn't at all made going against him boring too . Don't get me wrong, going into a case I already know I'm winning , but in this game I knew I was winning if you get me . Other then the huge lost potential with him, I do think he is interesting, unfortunately mostly in fanon .

Kristoph: I mean I really really liked him as a villain I did ! But it was all too soon. This man had no real motive at the end of the day and he was gone before I even cared enough about him. He was apollos mentor and klaviers brother and he could have been given so much hype before the twist but no , first case and I'm over him . I don't even care he forged the evidence at that point . I knew he was evil. Also they should have made him go all out ! Like kidnap trucy at the end ! Go completely nuts !!! Especially since he has those 5 black locks , he could have been one of the greats .

Others : now there was other small things I liked and didn't like , overall I am happy that I played the game , I like the added characters despite their flaws and I like how they expanded their powers and stuff . I know some people don't like the fantasy elements but I like them a lot . I think it can add fun gameplay and stuff so yeah!!

Lastly here is somethings I would have done to change and improve the story (this is my opinion . I'm a meer fan with no writing experience so take this with a grain of salt)

Firstly I would have had kristoph be apollos mentor throughout the game until the last case . This way we grow attached to him as apollo but also it would give klavier someone to bounce off of . If he was going to be nice to apollo maybe he could have disliked his brother and been mean to him in the court (kristoph being mean back of course ) or they could have had that strange love hate siblings rivalry going on . It would give us a chance to really get more out of klavier. Kristoph (him manipulating apollo making us even madder at the end when we figured it out) and apollo , finding it hard to trust phoenix at first and growing to trust him later in dual destinies (until the last case where he departs the agency and yeah we all know what happens) . It could have been such great insightful character development.

Like imagine , this mentor has been by your side the whole game , helping you win ! Boosting you up (to make his brother look bad but you don't know that. Oh and also to be a better attorney than wright in a way , I like the idea of him hating phoenix and wanting to best him (so giving him the forged evidence) just not in the way it was done. I want him to really hate phoenix for phoenix and not because some guy chose phoenix over him once) anyways. This guy, you grow to trust him , even defend him against his brother even though the brother is being sweet to you, no way would your mentor be awful ! He's definitely lying . (He's not lying) and yeah the final case, he kills trucys father or he could even kill trucys father at the first case and produces forged evidence so that he gets off free !! Could be interesting and would have no effect on apollo since kristoph would be the one to forge it . Anyways either way . He kills trucys dad, forges wrights evidence , maybe even forges his own . He kills another person and also gets desperate as he realises that phoenix is onto him (he's kinda desperate but also thinks phoenix can't really get him since he's barred) , he kidnaps trucy because she has been too close to his crimes and then as apollo you are trying to solve the murder, find trucys kidnapper and discover the culprit behind the forgery all along . You slowly piece together that it was your mentor who had lied and manipulated you (apollo) this whole time and you can't believe it . (Heck klavier can't even believe it ! He knew his brother was awful but he never would suspect that ) kristoph is sent to prison , trucy is saved , phoenix is dropped of his forgery allegations , the person who got a guilty from the first case is set free ( if they decided to have kristoph produces forged evidence then) and apollo and klavier sit down. Get a drink maybe some food . And they bond over their shared trauma and hurt . Leading them to be best friends in aa5

Other thoughts :

The gameplay was great in apollo justice (not so much in dual destinies tbh) so I definitely would have kept that the same with less flashbacks , telling me what to do too much and the whole apollo telling people their nervous traits .

Next the story of trucy and apollos parents (mother especially ) was very very very very messy . Idk how to fix that jdjskskskx also it's just gone after this ?? Phoenix doesn't tell them and their mother also doesn't care about them ?? Also also another thing I want to mention ! I wish trucy didn't have the same power as apollo . I know his is stronger because of the bracelet but still . It cheapens his abilities because they aren't special at all . Like I feel that pearl and maya , even though had similar abilities were both useful in their own way but in apollos case sometimes it really seems as if trucy is better than him at his own ability idk . I would have definitely made it so she didn't have that ability.

Okay okay I'm rambling at this point ,I really am but ugh so many thoughts in my adhd brain that won't shut up (so I'm sorry if this is messy) but yeah I do want to say again I do love these characters and stuff so no hate :3 (thank you )

So yes this rant was all over the place but I hope for the most part it was legible ! Please comment below because I'd love to talk more about this but for now, rant over :D

[dykedragonrider]

So I finished Library of Ruina. And I think that's just one of the best games ever. I don't know if I like it more than Lobotomy, but they're good for very different reasons. Either way though, it's incredibly salient commentary on cyclical violence, late stage capitalism, and the impact that humans have on each other.

I think the most logical place to start with is Angela, given that the Library is her EGO. However, it's impossible to talk about Angela's arc and development without discussing Roland's, given how deeply the two are tied and mirror each other. Even their music mirrors the other! To establish more similarity, both have had their lives ripped away from them by someone they perceived as uncaring. Angela was forced to suffer, so she externalized that grief at all the people she could target it at, hoping for compensation in some form. Roland had his future ripped away from him at every turn by a world that didn't care about him, and the death of Angelica caused him to externalize all his grief at the people he thinks could be responsible. Neither of them, however, were able to direct those outbursts at their original target, instead hurting the other people in their lives. Both of them are shaped by pain, Angela takes hers out on the world, Roland conceals his to take it out on Angela when the time is right, when her world is at its brightest. They both have to learn, in different ways, though, that their externalization of it will only cause the same thing to happen again and again. Getting hurt doesn't have any purpose; it just makes you hurt. There's no compensation you will receive for your pain, there's no vengeance that will fill the hole in your heart. Unfortunately, you'll live. What changes them, however, is realizing that you work past that pain, and hole in your heart, by letting others in, those who are good and trustworthy. Friends of the soul. To be human is to be loved, and understood. One of the facets of this game I find beautiful is that it's not a linear path to this for either of them, and if they haven't developed enough as people they cannot forgive and trust the other. Both must be in a place where they can heal, or at the very least, stop themselves from doing anything to hurt another in that moment. Recovery isn't simple, it's hard to be a better person especially when everything you've known is about conducting the pain you've experienced, because the world thrives off doing that. But the cycle's been broken before. The fact it's been broken is proof enough that you can do it again, no matter how hard it is. Roland and Angela are doomed, though. The world cannot abide them, but for different reasons. Angela's, however, is much more central, and Roland gets shunted either way with her, as they're now effectively two halves of the same whole, unified in their understanding of one another and sharing each other's dreams. And it's platonic! I think it could have been fine romantic, but I think given both of their pasts it's much stronger platonically. They are literally removed from the world that hurt them, as it casts them out, but in being removed from it, they're also able to dream outside of it. Angela seeks to create a more just world, following in the footsteps of Ayin. Being able to look past something and see the corrupt roots it took nourishment from, and wanting to excise that, rather than the person that is a symptom of it. Roland wants to write his book about the city, sharing his knowledge of someone who has lived in such a place, and in my eyes, passing the baton to the future with this knowledge; that the little things humans have done to care for one another and the connections we make. Redemption is a complex thing, based on actions, rather than intentions, but they've taken the first steps. And that's a really good note for the game to end on, because well, the seed of light is planted in the both of them now.

On the note of redemption, I want to take a moment to mention Ayin's apology to Angela in the light. Ayin is... Complex, morally, to say the least. Swaddled in good intentions, and with a good grasp on a positive outcome, just with means incomprehensible and immeasurable in the suffering caused. He brought his friends down with him to his prison, and made them complicit in his atrocity. He wanted to be better than every other Wing in the world. but he's done all the same shit. The difference though, is that he was willing to end it, show remorse, and break that cycle. The sin cannot be forgiven, but it can break the cycle, so he took it upon himself to do it, those hundreds of good deeds. And the cycle was broken. Great atrocity was done, but it was broken. Forgiveness is the wrong thing, redemption is as well, I think, he wanted it, maybe he got it, but what he wanted has been twisted by Carmen, truthfully, so I think it's kind of a moot point. But what is the right thing, I think, is understanding, that which he gives Angela. "I'm sorry. And good job." In this, he acknowledges her feelings. Her pain. He can't compensate her for the pain he put her through, but what he can do is acknowledge it, like she does for what she's done to Roland, though inadvertently. He sees her, for the first time, not as a machine, but of what she has been denied of at this point, what she wanted; human. This is also a good time to bring up Carmen, too, as she too is in the Light, hell, she's *the* light. She's who makes people Distort or manifest their EGO, she once again is the source of this, and Angela and her at this point could not be more different. In some ways, Roland's selfishness in wanting Angela back stops her from making the change to prevent Distortions, and the risk for selfishness they pose, as Distorting is easier than manifesting the EGO. Angela cannot be the constructive voice to balance out Carmen to help people be able to fight back, but again, to go back to the ending, Angela's targeting the City now, as an institution. If she can't work against Carmen in the light to stop her, then changing material conditions to create a world less based on pain will help. It further reinforces Angela's humanity to show how far she's drifted from Carmen, and I think it's especially poignant given that Angela was born of Carmen's pain, her still living body stripped and exploited. They're both victims, both of them want the world to change, both of them can understand the other, but they disagree on a fundamental level. So they both must be true to their ideals.

That tangent aside, I think it's important to note how important Angela's humanity is at the end, because she asserts it. Her humanity is presumed, and I think as players, it's been long established, even when she *was* purely machine, as being human is a sense of who claims you. And Angela, by the institutions that rule this city, is dehumanized. All the things we've seen as atrocities they can accept, but are tragic. If Angela didn't give it up, and became a human, they could tolerate her. But because she was not born as one, she is not allowed those privileges. Despite what she's demonstrated, how she's grown, matured, and changed, how she has done things that even the Head says only a human can do, she is denied it. If anything, the Head hates her *more* because of how human she is, and I think that only adds to the importance of Ayin acknowledging her humanity, it shows that even the most awful person we've seen, even moreso than Argalia in some ways, still acknowledges her. Everything else is acceptable. The distortions, while tragic, are OK. It would have happened. Capital can subsume that. But Angela's something they have deemed unacceptable, and she only survives by the strength of those who trust in her and support her. I think it's a really good metaphor, even if it is painfully real, especially in the current age.

And I guess I need to talk about that next, this game's interactions with capital and the City, and in some ways the socioeconomic context of South Korea. The Wings of the City are analogous to chaebols, institutions that centralize the entire economy, and they're deeply corrupt. Each Wing has a Singularity that grants them power, all of them we're aware of rely on human suffering to function, and the City runs on these. Prescripts only add to this, the City having a will of its own, which often propagates pain in one way or another and keeps itself in motion. The entire system is rotten, based on pain, and exploitation. The class divide is palpable in many ways, those in the Backstreets, or slums, aren't even allowed into the Nests, where the richer people in Wings reside, and are often systemically denied ways to lift themselves up. Violence against them is viewed as less important than violence against those in the Nest. The game is deeply critical of these in its portrayals. Angela's new to this world, and while she can make sense of it she also acknowledges the ways it's twisted and broken. Power is everything, you either get a good job or die alone, I think the only thing missing is a strong commentary about gender norms, but gender is a thing never really confronted in game. There's of course, now some legitimate hypocrisy that came from PM (based on my understanding of the facts) in how their criticism of Korean socioeconomic reality, and generally, capital, is less impactful given some of their behavior, but I don't think that detracts from the messages. In some ways, even, part of me is cynical enough to say that this proves a point; that corporations, no matter how much their art challenges the establishment, they are also subservient to it and the interests of the powerful. Of course they'd be corrupted by it, they've demonstrated that fighting against capital directly only gets you eliminated or subsumed. However, I think there's something also worth acknowledging here. That being the idea that challenging capital and its interests, and to some degree, revolutionary behavior, can be done through the improvement of the self, those material circumstances, and your relationships with other humans. There's a place for self improvement and the construction of your community, and its reinforcement, theory, and ideals, and also the hard world of praxis, and fighting against that which you cannot accept. I think in a world where a common sentiment among leftists in the anglosphere is that a revolution is not happening, and we're just going to have to do what we can on a different scale to change the world, this is a thoughtful ideal to communicate, that our relationships with our community, the changes we make to improve it, our capacity for kindness for others and breaking the cycle of violence within ourselves is a good place to start to make those changes on the world. Obviously, there's still a need for other change, but the sentiment that the community and the individual are important for that change is a very useful one.

Which I guess is a good time to talk about the community, in this case, the Sephirot. I think they're really good for depicting the idea that the community is strong when the individual cannot be, as well as philosophical (and of course, theological, given their Kabbalistic origins) stepping stones in the development of Roland and Angela. To use shorthand, they've finished their character arcs. That's not to say they're static, but the Sephirot have had their development back in Lobotomy to become much more developed people. I do wish they had more time in this game, as I enjoyed a lot of them in Lobotomy, but we do at least get more interactions between them and they're not as much main characters so I get it, I just *do* like them. Malkuth manages history, and she's dealing with the fact that people in the City, and her life, are capable of great atrocity. She's trying to document that, but the problem exists in the reality that no one wants to remember anything outside themselves. People are trapped, and cannot learn from history, because the City propagates itself and erases/incorporates those who try to change it, so what's even the point of remembering it. But it's the past that builds the future, pretending otherwise or ignoring it means you only rebuild the past. And you must not despair, you must carve this idea on your heart, and face it. Maintain the will to stand up straight in a world that wants to break you down. Yesod manages technological sciences, and is aware of the dangers it poses, especially in the City. The entire ethos is that the ends justify the means, and that is uniquely terrifying when the means always involve pain. He acknowledges this about the library, and is rightfully scared by it, and wants Angela to understand that what they're doing here is comparable to other things in the city, and it can't be justified away. We have to be thoughtful about things in an ever changing world, and we can't ever just follow what's been set out. Maintain discretion, be rational, and think about "musts" and if they're actually as such. Hod manages literature, the stories of the people. For the Sephirot who involved herself in the lives of others to their detriment, placing her in a space that uses her newfound capability to understand other humans as well as she does is a really nice thing for her to slot into. The fact is, the city sucks to live in for everyone. You join groups, and the groups hurt people. Where you live is always boiled in violence, and you either give up your autonomy and ignore it, or give up your safety and acknowledge it. Everyone wants something better for themselves, to not have to deal with this world that's breaking them. You can't be broken against the wheel, you still have to have the hope to be a better person at the end of it all. Netzach manages art, and he muses on the nature of humans to make it, at the cost of humans. It's, especially in this world, a monument to pain. That's not something that really feels like it should be exalted, but it's what people are experiencing so it's made anyway. Killing yourself in the pursuit of a dream, beauty, doesn't actually create or leave behind that beauty, or dream. It just propagates misery. You've gotta fight to stay alive, you've got to want it, even if you're scared, even if it hurts, even if you've accepted self destruction. You've got to hold onto the idea that there's always something more to do, some new story to tell, a reason to keep making things as humans do. It's scary, being alive, but facing that without fear and living is what gives beauty to our condition.

Tiphereth manages natural science, and she in some ways iterates on Netzach's philosophy. Sure, you're alive, but so what. The world is unfair, it beats you down, nothing could be more cruel than it, and understanding that's a hard endeavor, usually tinted by loss. So, we try and understand it. We look at the world, and what's unjust about it, and we make sense of it so we can change it, to keep dreaming. One day, we will overcome this. One day, you'll wake up, and will be able to face yourself and the world. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, there's *got* to be something waiting for us because that's how humans work. We're driven by desire, and the chase of knowledge, justice, hope, gives life meaning. You just have to know what lights shine for you, and make the choice to chase them, every day of your life. It'll hurt like hell to be well, it's hard to do it again after losing your way. But as long as you're alive, things can change. Life has a meaning, and you must expect to find it. Gebura manages language, and notably, is one of the two Librarians with much stronger ties to the outside world than others. Her floor doesn't touch on language overmuch, but I think she demonstrates that differences with her behavior instead. As she mentions, the Backstreets dwellers speak simply, and that's reflected in her. Gebura is the most brash, honest, and straightforward librarian. She rarely speaks symbolically, and that also lets her uniquely connect with people, because of how she speaks and carries herself. She's the first one to get a fragment of the truth out of Roland, for example. Another element is that her actions speak for her rather often, given her past as the Red Mist. She was famous for her selflessness, and always tried to look out for people weaker than her. It's not the strong who survive, it's the survivors who are strong, so making sure people survive is how you create people who can live in this broken world. Kali was a legend who died in the service of protecting others, she's a very emotional person, to both her strength and detriment, and she's always going to carry that with her. Even if she's failed before, even if it's gotten harder, she still understands incredibly well that violence is a tool. And she wields that tool with courage, in the service of others. Chesed manages social sciences, and has a huge heart. He's as playful as he is determined to hope for a better life for others, and he loathes violence. More accurately, needless death, but the sentiment is identical. Chesed doesn't want people to be hurt or killed. People are all important little pieces, and we all blend together to make our symphonies. He values knowing *why*, for the hope to change things through understanding to make a better world. There's always something we can do with the people in our lives to make a difference, after all. Even if it's small, we owe it to them to do it. That's what being friends is about, after all. If the world wants to pit you against each other, then band together to be strong together. You'll have each other, and can fight the current of the oppressive reality together. Sitting on your hands only makes things worse, you've gotta be able to look and process your reality to change it. And people can help with that. Build a crowd of your friends, and become stronger together. Those who are faithful and trustworthy are what give us the strength to put our bodies on the wheel.

Binah manages philosophy, and is the other librarian with strong ties to the outside world. She's always talking in parallel with other people, but is doing as such to prove a point. The world is cruel, but you can't turn away from that. You must acknowledge the world and observe it to understand it. And you've gotta free yourself from your biases to actually understand it. If you just look for what you want to see, then you can miss the forest for the trees, or see things where they aren't because you want them to be real. Binah was once Garion, an Arbiter, effectively a supercop. I think the analogy speaks for itself there, but she's also interesting because that part of her is long behind her. In her discussions about the world, she also speaks of herself and her wants, as someone who's dealing with the sins of her past, especially given she is in no small part responsible for how things turned out. To put your past behind is to bear the sins of it, and decide to move on. You won't do it the first time, it may take a hundred, or a thousand, but you'll break it eventually. And when you do it, you'll have to do it over and over again. But you did it once. You can do it again. This works on another level again, because Lobotomy Binah is a deeply damaged person. She feels little, save for when she's hurting other people. But in Ruina, it feels like she's moved on from those remnants of being Garion. Like all the librarians, she wasn't who she was at the start of this, but she also has carried the most with her; she's just also had a lot of time to sort herself out, and while she's still imperfect, she's trying with other people now. She's tried to reconcile her past. She's looked at all the horrors of herself and the world, and has started to move beyond them. Hokma manages religion, and is one of the two people responsible for the birth of Angela. Angela is conflicted on him most of all, given that past. To call their relationship filial in any way I think is a misattribution, it's more like he's her least favorite teacher. He's wise, knowledgeable, and thoughtful but they've got a lot of friction between them. He tried to do well by her, but it wasn't enough, and he has at this point accepted that given their past. Unsurprisingly, the thing that defines Hokma is belief in something, or rather, someone. Ayin was the man that gave his life meaning, and he believed in him and his cause, even to his own end. He was shackled to him, but he was freed from that weight when he realized his answer, that building the future and keeping the past alive are one and the same. You aren't stuck to it, but you must acknowledge it to move on, and its influences on you, good and bad, are what you choose to pass on. I think the most important element to him comes in his end discussion with Angela, on the idea of pity, sympathy, and love. They're similar forces that foster human connection, but I think another element is that a lot of faith exalts those who we pity; we give them love to raise them up because we find them pitiable. Through that sympathy, and a repulsive emotion known as pity, we come to understand and love one another.

And finally, we tie back to Roland, who manages general works. The thing I most want to center in this discussion about him is the simple phrase of "that's that, and this is this" because it's such an infuriating philosophy for him to follow. We see it bite him in the ass so much, because it's a cope. Angelica makes it clear to him that it's a cope, and he's just relying on it to the point it's become something deeply maladaptive. And once again, it's Angela that breaks him out of this, because through their journeys together, she realizes and proposes to him the counter: That's this, and this is that. It's her gesture to break him out of things wholly, the same way Ayin's words did to her. In terms of broader strokes, human connection is the most important thing on the road to being better people, and I think something that is demonstrated very well through Ruina is the way that it's more important to make a wrong choice and learn from it through people around you than it is to make no choice at all. While this game builds much more on the elements introduced in Lobotomy about the City, I think Lobotomy is a much stronger criticism of capital? This does it, but I think it doesn't do as good in marrying its gameplay and themes to sell the violence of capital, it mostly just depicts the horrors and leaves it there. This works, it's just not as impactful, and I think is a product of this being much less horror oriented. All in all, I chalk this one up to another game I wish I was much more capable of speaking about. There's so much good here, and it's one of the best games about revenge I've played, the next closest being the original Xenoblade. It's incredibly rich, and there's a lot more I have to say, I've just been typing for four hours and didn't want to make an even bigger wall of text.

[dreamii-krybaby]

Y’all remember my raspberry swap au? Which is basically a doll and uzi role swap

Here are like some main ideas

Fist of all, Khan WAS the assigned colony leader but after getting murdered by the disassembly drones (N *cough cough*) alongside Nori, in his will he gave the role to one of his trusted friends, “Adán” (which is Doll’s father btw)

Adán is much more younger than Khan and didn’t have much experience, so getting the role of leader of the colony, plus the fact he is grieving Yeva’s death deeply and has to deal with Doll’s antics takes a heavy toll on him

Adán tried to give the job to someone else but no one wanted and he felt he would be disrespecting khan. So what’s up with his relationship with doll?

Its strained, due to Adán being new to the job and having to manage so many things, he is overworked and burned out and is not in the right headspace at all. And is in deep grieving, which has let him to not pay much attention to doll’s needs, he occasionally seems to be in his own bubble not paying attention to anyone or anything.

Doll is also grieving but in a different way, it has mostly affected her academically. And since her dad hasn’t been paying attention to her emotionally she occasionally lashes out, which lets to arguments which lets to her getting ground and things getting progressively more complicated.

She eventually makes a friend at school, lizzy :3

Meanwhile Uzi kinda goes the same path as Doll does in canon. She plans a whole revenge plan on prom night. On everyone favorite’s boy, N. Who takes more different personality.

Oh and Adán and Doll speak english! But with a very heavy russian accent, but there are scenes where they actually speak russian. Meanwhile Uzi speaks japanese! She got it from Nori.

Also Uzi’s home is similar to doll’s but different aesthetic as in the composition and colors. Also her parents corpse’s are on the living room (get it- haha)

She also has countless of gadgets and weapons littered around and buckets and bags full of drone parts and oil. Also, yes her house is infested with insects but like i was thinking that instead of roaches its like moths or spiders.

Also instead of Uzi bringing knifes she brings many little gadgets, but one of my ideas is that she carries a purse that actually turns into a sort of weapon but still thinking about it.

As for Doll, her equivalent of Uzi’s SAH railgun would be maybe a crossbow or a dagger with poison but am still thinking about it. May go with the crossbow

Also since Doll and Uzi are based on highschooler archetypes, i was thinking that Doll takes more on the “quiet true crimes artsy kid” meanwhile for Uzi, am still figuring her archetype, but definitely am thinking that she is that one kid who gets the highest marks without even trying.

As for Yeva and Nori, their personality wont change that much, as for now. Yeva is more unstable rather than unhinged. As in constant breakdowns, anxiety attacks and dwelling in unhealthy coping mechanisms (Smoking and drinking). She tried her best to make Doll think everything was ok but she became dependent a bit on Adán and all of this happened when she started getting the visions. And I was thinking that instead of doing drawings its maybe something with photography maybe, like collages maybe. But idk

Adán was there for Yeva but things got complicated as he couldn’t deal with how unstable Yeva became. And he blamed himself deeply after Yeva was murdered by the disassembly drones, by being shot in the head.

Also character design wise, Adán is almost the same as his canon design, Doll gets a wardrobe change, Uzi does too. Am still thinking about the rest.

If you have any ideas pleaseeee tell me. I would greatly appreciate it. Also you can ask me anything regarding this AU

Also Yeva’s and Nori’s and Khan’s death didn’t have a big time gap btw, maybe a few months apart.

Also I was thinking of Uzi trying to restrain N by building her own contraption :3

Edit: when the whole “leaving your kid to die” shit happens. When V and Doll team up and beat J’s and N’s ass and win. Adán immediately goes to hug doll and try to apologize but Doll shoves him away and call’s him out, telling him that she feels like she is being treated as nothing but as a burden. Then the rest plays out like in canon mostly

This let’s to Adán trying to find ways to cope (in a healthy way) and get some sort of help with managing the colony and his grief

Edit: Nori’s and Khan’s corpses display nanite acid and have parts that are completely burned or melted off.