#also why are we not more weirded out by the person recording and airing out his business

[koqabear]

Taehyun beating the bitchless allegations proud of him

[zephyrchama]

I was reading your period one. The funny thing is, I am pretty sure human guys might smell periods too? I'm not really sure...call me crazy but like, my boyfriend can smell my period room it's probably from him being around me 24/7 so it's why he can smell it a small bit i think, so I get more chocolate. Weird thing, huh.

(In reference to this post)

Some people absolutely can! I have a friend who describes it as a faint rotten metallic smell, he's always spot-on at telling when someone is on their period. He has to be within a couple feet of them, but he can tell even if he hardly knows the person. I think my friend is a super rare case though, and like with your boyfriend some people might be able to tell if they're really close? In a vast majority of cases people can't tell, or they don't care enough to think about it.

~

Solomon being able to smell it right off the bat seems too powerful. MC going to him for assistance is already awkward, it doesn't exactly feel normal to talk to acquaintances about personal menstrual cycles. But if he can't smell it, he'll need someone who can to help with their experiments. Otherwise, how can he tell if the spell is a success?

"You can't bring in Luke or Simeon, absolutely not. Never." MC is adamant about not involving anyone else. They hadn't noticed the angels reacting in any way to their period, but if it turns out they could also smell it all along? That's just too embarrassing. Let MC keep their perfect image of the angels intact. "You can't tell them about this, either."

"One of the brothers, then?" Solomon asks.

MC hmms and haws. They know for sure the brothers can smell it, but... That's not ideal, either.

"How about I summon Asmodeus or Barbatos? I can make sure they keep their lips sealed."

Barbatos is sure to keep quiet even without being asked, but MC doesn't want to involve anyone else. Especially not...

"Lord Diavolo? We can ask him? It has to do with his exchange program, after all," Solomon teased.

"We are absolutely not asking the crown prince of the Devildom to sniff my period blood." MC pressed their hands against their eyes. "I'd honestly rather perish on the spot. Can't you do anything? Invent some kind of sensor or a magic litmus test? Or... something. Make your nose better? I don't know." They didn't even know magic was real a few months ago.

"You know, you're right." If Solomon can't naturally smell it, a simple sense enhancing spell would do the trick. "You'd be okay with that?"

A few seconds of thought go by. "If it's you, yeah. I've already troubled you this much. Thanks for letting me rely on you."

Solomon says a few things faster than MC can catch and taps his nose. Suddenly, he's sniffing the air in an embarrassingly familiar way and MC's face turns red.

"I see." Solomon grabs a pen and starts jotting something down on a random page of an empty book.

MC curiously tries to look over his shoulder. Though, they're careful not to get too close. They still have dignity and want to mitigate their smell as much as possible. "What's that? You've already thought of a spell that can cover it up? You're a genius!"

"Hm? Oh, no. I thought of that ages ago. I'm taking notes on what you smell like. It's pretty unique now that I can sense it." All in the name of science.

Fighting cramps and lethargy, MC dives for the notebook and snatches it out of Solomon's hands. No way they're letting a record of this exist.

[kelin-is-writing]

Some of you… Guys… who lack empathy and overall emotional intelligence, kinda love to run your mouth waaaaaay too much and end up saying things that make 0 sense. This fandom is also waaaaay too comfortable with victim blaming Rei and Touya for everything that has happened to the Todorokis while Endeavor gets away with it, for no reason at all at that.

“OhHh BuT hE fElLs SoRrY fOr EvErYtHiNg He DiD”

I’m going to be completely honest with you all: I don’t give a flying fuck that he’s now swimming in his sorrows. He better be drowning in them actually. Because there’s a consequence to everything we do. ALWAYS. Besides, if he was going to feel ohh so sorry about what he did to his family, then he simply shouldn’t have done none of it to begin with.

He can’t go on fill his child like a balloon the way he did and then expect said balloon to not explode after he had blew way too much air into it. That’s egotistical.

You also can’t buy your wife (who was still a minor at the time), have her pop out kids like she’s some kind of kids machine for your greedy needs and even force two of them on her before you go ahead and start physically and mentally abusing her, then expect for there to not be any repercussions on your family’s relationships.

Blaming a kid who got his whole life and being manipulated and then gaslighted by his own father, who remembered he indeed had an eldest son only when it was too late, and a woman who was sold to a greedy, egotistical, egocentric, narcissistic and selfish man when she was a kid who had one option worse than the other (We all know that the Himuras ain’t any more sane than Endeavor) is so weird guys, please.

Touya was treated like a human weapon by his own father, who as soon as he saw no more use in him and his quirk just casted the kid aside (which was before Natsuo was even conceived btw). So where’s the favoritism in this? Where? Because I can’t see it anywhere, no matter how hard I look for it. And why is that? Because there’s none. So you lot can stop being delusional about this topic, ‘cause it doesn’t stand up not even if you force it. You can’t erase the manipulation (into making him think he could become the #1 Hero, surpass All Might for his father and be the strongest) and then the gaslighting (telling him he can’t do any of that anymore since his quirk won’t permit it, telling Touya he should give up on his dream because it will never happen after Endeavor ingrained all that into his mind) just like that, then call all of this favoritism. Do you all even know what favoritism is? Or you just find out words on the Internet, ignore completely their meaning, and run with them blindly? Because I am bewildered by how some of you guys be coming on here to just say anything… Touya got failed by his parents and his siblings, because he was ignored and neglected by his siblings as much as he was by his parents (Shoto excluded because Endeavor was busy grooming him this time around) but none of you guys even call them out on Touya going through all of that alone, for some reason, while being okay with what Natsuo and Fuyumi told him as soon as they got into the battlefield. Like they ain’t bad siblings too and Endeavor wasn’t the reason they all lost each others as a family, literally do not piss me off I beg. I’m firmly convinced some of you guys pick and choose who you defend in the Todofam, but like… Everything you guys say makes no sense? It just shows me that some of you lack, as I said at the very beginning of the post, empathy and emotional intelligence. Which is sad.

You all can say “We’ve all gone through hard times alone” as much as you want, but that is not normal at all, towards any time of relationship but especially towards family. It’s not healthy and it can hurt a person a lot, making them close in themselves and when it starts to hurt from the inside the moment you stop getting all of the pent up stress inside it’s no good at all. And for the record, Touya (or just anyone) venting or opening himself to Natsuo about what he’s going through it’s not trauma dumping. It’s never trauma dumping if you genuinely care for someone (clarifying this before any of you emotional ignorant peoples come at me about this 🫠). So Natsuo and Fuyumi being in all of this too shouldn’t be used as an excuse for pushing their brother’s concerns and feelings under the rug, families are supposed to go through these type of situations as a family if they want to keep living happily as such, but they remembered this after one of them died and their youngest sibling was being still raised as a fighting machine by their abusive father. So, mind you, but they all (except Shoto) owe Touya some big ass apologies written down on a letter with tears if I gotta be honest.

As for Rei; she became a mother young, went through a lot all alone because mind you Mr. Husband was waaaaay too busy trying to groom their son into a Hero machine that could beat someone he is incapable of beating (Because a nullity will always be a nullity after all, even when becoming a #1 after the former #1 retirement, if they insist on projecting ofc) to help and guide his young and inexperienced wife through a wedding like theirs. How was she supposed to not lose her mind after being sold, neglected, beaten up, verbally abused, forced to pop out kids like a gachapon, seeing her fourteen years old son lose himself into the void because of his father and then he dies too, without never getting love nor affection from his father (the one he looked up to) the way a kid wants, needs and is supposed to get which is something I’m 100% sure led her to depression. You all diminish too much the grief a mother feels when she loses her kids. There’s much a mother, a human, can handle; and for Rei it got to a point where every trace of Endeavor disgusted her so much her whole body rejected his entire existence leading her to a mental breakdown. One that was due to come earlier if we think about it, but she was strong enough for her remaining kids until she couldn’t do it anymore. What she did to Shoto is wrong, I know and I acknowledge, but she’s a traumatized person who sees her abuser everywhere she goes because, unfortunately, it’s the person she was forced to marry. She apologized to Shoto right away, because she was still mature and sane enough to recognize her mistake right when it happened.

But Endeavor’s ego is so big that it took him his eldest son nearly blowing everyone up and becoming a walking torch before he finally apologized to the whole family for his wrong doings of 10 years prior. Which is crazy to me.

So I’m gonna need you all to stop erase Endeavor’s wrongdoings and try to gaslight the whole fandom into blaming Rei and Touya for the mistakes of someone else, because they’re the biggest victims in all of this shit.

That being said, hope y’all get well soon 🫶🏻💜

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Movie Theaters

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps)

Alien: Why are you taking me to a dark place? Alien: Do you plan to murder me? Human: What? No! Alien: I thought we were friends, Human Jim. Human: I’m not going to- Alien: I will not go down so easily, Human Jim! Alien: *Begins sprinting away in opposite direction Human: *watches friend run away… Human: (Shouts) This was your idea you idiot! --------------------

Alien: So people come here to watch a moving picture? Human: We call them “Movies”. Alien: But then the same picture is only on these giant screens for a few of your rotations before it can be seen on your smaller screens? Human: Yes. Alien: So really you are just paying to see your “movie” on a bigger screen? Human: Yes. Alien: How does that make sense? Human: Some movies just need to be seen on bigger screen. Alien: *Phissh *Proceeds to watch “Return of the King” on movie screen. Alien: Sobbing I was wrong. Human: Damn right you were. --------------------

Human: Now remember, snack counters are where movie theaters really shiv you for money. Alien: It can’t be that bad. *At register after getting snacks Clerk: So that is one popcorn, one soda, and two boxes of candy which will total sixty seven credits. Alien: SIXTY SEVEN!?!?!? Alien: That’s nearly triple what we paid for tickets! Clerk: We also now offer organ harvesting options if you don’t have credits. Human: You can’t be- Human: *Sees alien friend lifting up shirt and cutting open stomach Human: You can’t be serious. Alien: Whispers It’s okay, I have thirteen livers and I only use six on any given day. -----------------

Alien: Where should we sit? Human: We could sit at the top; it’s more recluse and no people behind us but perverts tend to hangout up there. Alien: Wait….what? Alien: Why would perverts go to a movie- Alien: *Realization Alien: Oh. Alien: OH. Alien: OH!!! Human: Yeah…… Human: Just be thankful we aren’t seeing a “My Little Pony” movie. Alien: Surely it can’t be that bad. Human: I once saw a group of ushers break out night sticks to shoo them out, and they didn’t leave until they “finished”. Alien: *Barfs. ---------------------

Alien: Why does the movie listing say it starts at a certain time but then must watch twenty minutes of ads for other movies before it even starts? Human: It’s a misdirect. Human: It gives people a chance to get snacks and then make it to the movie without missing anything. Alien: No wonder your species is weak. Alien: You cater to those who cannot manage their time properly. Human: Oh that’s not how we measure strength. Human: The real test is being able to control your bladder for three hours so you don’t miss a single thing. Alien: I will admit that is impressive. Human: My record is twelve hours. Alien: Why would you endure such pain? Human: When you watch the extended editions of LOTR nothing less is acceptable. --------------------

Alien & Human: *Patiently watching movie Annoying kids behind them: *Kicking chair Human: Whispers back Please stop. Annoying kids: *Continues kicking Human: Last warning, please stop. Annoying kids: *Snickers and continues kicking. Alien: Looks at human Now? Human: Nods They were warned. Alien: Roars and leaps back into children Annoying kids: Scream in terror as alien throws one of them into the screen. Alien: Looks at human friend as they are holding second child in air Are you sure this is acceptable? Human: *Points at surrounding audience cheering and clapping Human: Crowd justice has spoken. Alien: *Shrugs and flings remaining child into nearby wall. ----------------------

Alien: When is it acceptable to speak in a movie? Human: If a movie is terrible and the crowd’s commentary is more entertaining. Alien: You’ve seen this happen? Human: Oh yeah. Human: Last time it was for a movie about three masked killers hunting down some people in a trailer park. Human: We all ended up cheering for the killers as the lead’s acting was terrible. Human: When they actually died we started cheering; the person next to me started weeping tears of joy. --------------------

Alien: *Whispers to human Alien: That human next to you is recording the movie on their phone. Human: I noticed. Alien: Are you not going to do anything? Human: Not unless their phone brightness gets brighter. Alien: Do you not care for the movie industry? Human: No. Human: *Notices light get brighter Human: But I do care about my own time enjoying it. Human: *Proceeds to grab drink and pour it on phone human, triggering a massive fight which has him and his alien friend thrown out of theater.

[fanfic-obsessed]

How Old?!?!?!

Remember Folks, disregard any canon that contradicts this.

Timothy Wayne Drake disappeared when he was 16. He was taken captive in Eastern Europe at a WE event. A magical shield cut off all electronic communication, sight, and sound of the building for 6 minutes. According to every Super consulted, Tim’s heartbeat vanished at that time, and never reappeared. No facial recognition ever showed him again. No magical spell could find him, or his remains. Eight years later he is presumed dead by most of those who knew him, though his family still searches frantically for their Baby Bird. It is only the fact that they knew how much he loved Gotham, that he would want the city protected, that they did not let their obsession with finding him take them over. 

According to his file, Neal Caffery has been operating since he was 18. There are no records prior to that. By the numbers he is now 34, and had been working as a CI for the feds for 2 years.  He has never admitted to anyone that his earliest memories are six years ago, though Peter, El, and Moz have all figured it out.  But his abilities, muscle memory, and knowledge seem to support what's in his file.  That must mean something, right?

It was not a White Collar case, not really. Though there were just enough white collar elements to justify assigning it to Agent Burke and his team, this really was an Organized Crime case. However it was leading to Gotham, and no one wanted to go to Gotham. 

So Agent Burke, his two junior agents, and his CI were bundled into a SUV and told to report to Gotham PD to coordinate the case.  Upon arriving at the main precinct and getting out of the car; Peter, Diana and Jones all get strange looks from the locals on the street, though they do not know it, it is clear they are outsiders. 

However Neal gets out with a strange look on his face, “Why does the air taste..”

“Pink?” One the pedestrian answers, suspicion washing away.

“Yes” Neal exclaimed, then paused, “That’s weird, right? I feel like that’s weird”

The pedestrian gave a half shrug, “Ivy and Scarecrow double booked downtown a few weeks ago. Made things super awkward for anyone not vaccinated against both, but the vaccines made the air taste pink for some reason. The news said that the unvaccinated shouldn’t see effects any longer and for the vaccinated the effect would be gone in two more weeks”

Then the pedestrian left and Neal, entirely unconsciously, murmured about wondering if Ivy and Harley were fighting. When Peter tried to get more information about Neal having been in Gotham as they walked into the Precinct, Neal made a joke to cover the fact that he has no idea when or where he got the vaccines/immunities to Poison Ivy’s pollen or Scarecrow's Fear Gas.  

They manage to make it to the main bullpen without incident, by virtue of the fact anyone who actually looks up from what they were doing focuses on Peter, as lead agent.  When they get to the Bullpen, someone notices Neal and the entire room goes dead silent. Commissioner Gordon comes charging out, eyes wild and clearly on the phone with someone (Oracle, who happened to see Neal/Tim on camera-it is important to note that the group who took Tim made it so that any facial recognition program that would run either face would skip the match between Tim and Neal, but a person looking through a camera is different) saying things like “Holy Shit” and “Yes I see him, too”. 

The White Collar team, including Neal, is so confused as Commissioner Gordon ushers them to his office and closes the door (Oracle has her fathers office bugged with better cameras and wired for sound, also they do not know how much cover they have already broken for Tim-they do not want to make things worse instead of better). 

Commissioner Gordon calls Neal Tim, and Neal/Tim seizes for a moment like he was hit with electricity and says, in a deadened tone, “That name cannot be used as an Alias” then slumps like he is going to fall over. Peter and Jones manage to catch him and get him into a chair that Commissioner Gordon hurriedly pulls over.  The confusion that the White Collar team is exhibiting, plus questions like “What was that?” and “What did you do to Neal?” and “What did you call him?” do convince commissioner Gordon that these, at least, were not the people that took Tim.  It takes a few minutes for Tim/Neal to come to.  A few careful call and response questions tells Commissioner Gordon that the man with Tim’s face (and scars, from what he can see) does not remember anything.  These same questions were also clearly making the White Collar team, particularly Peter, as protective as they were making Neal/Tim confused and more than a little anxious.

Then Dick Grayson burst into the room, looking like he might have run all the way from Bludhaven.  He stopped dead at seeing Neal, whispered ‘Baby Bird?’ then lunged to pull Neal into a tight hug. Neal may have had no memories of being Tim, but his muscle memory remembered Dick’s hugs. That he was safe while Dick was hugging him, Neal could not help but relax into the hold. 

Dick start talking about getting Neal to Leslie both to make sure he's not hurting and to verify his identity (sounding apologetic but, no matter if Dick is sure this is Tim, they have to verify it), that ‘B’ is out of contact right now (on a JL mission off planet, the watchtower is preparing to extract him, but it will take a few hours-the JLD is also preparing in case they are needed) but should be back soon. He talks about how Alfred will be waiting outside for them, but ‘everyone else’ is waiting so they don’t overwhelm him (read clustered, and pacing, on buildings around Leslie’s clinic).  

Neal brings up, still wrapped in Dicks arms, that he might not be who they think he is. Dick agrees but also says that he isn’t, it is a case of mistaken identity and it is clear that Neal is not trying to trick them. Dick then says if it is Mistaken identity, Dick will apologize for the forcible cuddling and be grateful that, even if they don’t actually find him, he got a chance to hug his little brother one last time (Every single member of the White Collar Team, Neal very much included, is a little uncomfortable with this sentiment). 

At Peter’s awkward insistence (these people clearly miss whoever they think Neal is, and he doesn’t know if they would think about Neal’s criminal activities) the White collar team accompanies Neal, still clutched to Dick’s side, to a car waiting with Alfed right next to it, who is clearly having an emotional reaction to seeing Neal/Tim again.  Over the course of the car ride to Leslie’s clinic, Dick asks questions about who Neal is now (and reacts weirdly well to the whole Conman/FBI CI thing). Towards the end, Jones hesitantly asks why Dick is trying to get to know Neal now, wouldn’t it make more sense to wait until they were sure who Neal was. 

Dick laughs and goes 1.) Even if Neal is not his long lost brother, several of his siblings are going to want to befriend him (if nothing else than being a world class master art forger would get Damian’s attention, and everyone else would 100% be encouraging the friendship to give Damian more non violent friends) and 2.) Baby Bird is notorious for trying to mold himself into who he thinks other people want him to be. Right now he does not know enough about Dick to try and tailor his answers, plus is likely convincing himself that this is a case of mistaken identity. Thus Dick is collecting information for when Baby Bird inevitably tries to fit himself into whatever weird mold he thinks their family will want him to fit.  

Neal, still clutched to Dick’s side, splutters as the White Collar team cannot help but laugh at him. Also this somewhat convinces Peter that this might not be a case of mistaken identity after all.  

They get to Leslie’s Clinic. She runs through all the tests (Genetic and comparing previous x-rays, signs of artificial aging-for cloning, signs of the specific type of molecules that means time or dimension travel, brain scans, the few hormone tests that can detect magic-you can’t tell me that Bruce Wayne and/or Tim Drake, before he vanished, were not told at some point that there is no way to detect magic by scientific means and took it as a personal challenge). By every measure that she is able to test, Neal Caffrey is the missing Tim Drake.  She is also able to tell that his memory loss was likely caused by significant and repeated electrocution reinforced by some kind of magic, but cannot tell what or if it is still active, though given Tim’s reaction to his birth name (which happened twice more during the tests) and the fact that the Supers were never able to find his heartbeat,it is likely. 

By this time, Batman has now been returned to the watchtower and is being told of Tims return.

Dick tells Neal outright that their entire family’s love languages are stalking and poor boundaries (both maintaining and respecting). Dick also makes it clear that, while the Batfam is ecstatic that Neal/Tim is alive and want him in their lives, Neal is not required to attempt to get his memories back or have anything to do with them if he does not want (All of their therapists, the family could not go to just one, had worked specifically with them on how to deal with a Tim that has made a new life, how to accept that he is safe and happy but not with them-which is a realistic assumption after 8 years), but that likely Neal would be putting up with some limited stalking for the rest of his life (Look, the best we are going to get from the Batfamily is stalking from the shadows if Neal doesn’t want to interact with them-Also Oracle has already hacked the FBI for all of Neals records and files, and is the middle of arranging for the White Collar office to be bugged with her personal cameras/microphones). Dick also asks that the White Collar team come back to the Manor and to at least let the Justice League Dark look Neal over to make sure that there is nothing that is going on that will hurt him. 

Now, to be clear, Neal is more than happy to at least meet the rest of the Batfam.  Yes, he has a good life now, people he loves and who love him. But that is a relatively new development and there are a lot of blanks in his past. I mean at this point Neal still thinks he is 34 (as opposed to 24), and only remembers the last six years. They have not even gone far enough into the explanations to realize that there is a 2 year gap between when Tim was taken and Neal's earliest memories.  Also, while Neal does not quite have the same level of abandonment issues as Tim did, there is something about how visibly happy Dick is to see him that soothing something deep inside (Because he has six years worth of memories, and for most of them he did not have anyone who would have noticed if he had vanished).

They get back to manor just in time for Bruce to come charging into the foyer, still in the batman suit but with his cowl down. Bruce also looks like he might have ran from wherever he was. He had at least absorbed enough of what he was told about Neal to not call him Tim, and pulled Neal into a hug.  This also means there is a brief interlude while the White Collar team gets the ‘Bruce Wayne is Batman, we’re trusting you with this’ revelation (And absolutely everyone is going to be making fun of Bruce ‘Paranoia’ Wayne being the person who accidentally let the secret slip).

By the time they reach the main sitting room, the rest of the family has made it back to the manor (Barbara, Jason, Cass, Steph, Damian, Duke) each waiting on their own chance to hug their lost member.   Neal blue screens a bit at Jason (who is both very pretty and very sarcastic, which is Neal's type).  Through the discussions that follow there are at least two arguments between batfam members about who gets to have Neal to sit with them.

Neal decides that he will meet with someone from JLD to see about what magic might still be affecting him and regaining his lost memories. He and the White Collar team do decline staying at the manor and go back to the hotel rooms that the FBI rented for them (never realizing that Oracle upgraded them as soon as she realized who Neal was) as they still have a job to do. It is at this point that  Neal starts whining to the others, much to their amusement (also to the amusement of Steph and Cass, who were hiding on the balcony-there is no way there will not be at least one bat/bird hiding in the shadows around Neal for a bit), about his new, hot brother Jason.  Peter calls El, just so Neal can have his crisis with her instead of him (Never mind that being siblings is not as big a deal as Neal thinks it is).

Now Gotham, and its people, have a reputation at the FBI for being actually impossible to work with.  Even regular citizens stonewall so effectively that most teams simply give up. They simply do not like outsiders, and Gothamites can tell if someone grew up in Gotham or not, even if the person in question does not realize it (there are unconscious ways of moving if you have lived in Gotham for a certain amount of time). This is what the White Collar team expects to go against, what they are bracing for, no matter who Neal might or might not have been.  To their surprise this is not what they get. Yes, most people still peer suspiciously at Peter, Jones, and Diana at first, but even that settles down quickly (Some of it is Neal/Tim, being from Gotham, clearly trusting Peter and co gets them some good will; some is them not being sanctimonious about gotham; the rest is the batfam being vocal about liking these FBI agents-for Neal/Tim related reasons).  They solve the case, which branched from White collar into one of the Mob Families (at least two of the traffickers got the choice to talk to the FBI team, or deal with The Red Hood-Red Hood plays it off as using the FBI to take a shot at that family’s territory and being personally interested in Neal Caffrey).

Before they leave Gotham, Neal does meet up with a few members of the JLD who are able to find and remove the spells that prevent Neal/Tim from being found by the Supers and the Spell keeping him from being addressed as Tim. His missing memories were not fully caused by magic (There was a lot of damage caused by electricity-no one took that news well), but the magic was preventing some of his recall. With the spells off, it is inferred that some or all of Tim’s memories may come back in time. 

The White Collar team leaves Gotham with new contacts in their phones and also the bomb that Neal Caffery was a full decade younger than he thought he was (They do eventually figure out that Neal/Tim never actually committed the crimes in his file-not that the crimes were never committed but that Neal/Tim was basically went straight from where ever he was being held to being captured for ‘Neal Caffery’s’ crimes).  Peter later finds a much more complete medical record for Tim Wayne Drake in his home, with an ominous note to keep this file out of the FBI records, it is for personal reference only. They also leave with the decision to keep Neal’s identity a secret (As no one knows who the ones who took them are, or what the end goal is), telling only Hughes, El and Moz. By the time the WC crew reaches New York, the Bats already have bugs/cameras in the FBI building, Neal’s apartment, and Peter’s house.  They have also put trackers in every single pair of Neal’s shoes. There is also a schedule for who gets to stalk/hang out with Neal when.  

As far as the rest of the FBI was concerned, White Collar gets a lot of strange new contacts for cases.  Also they seem to have made an impression on the Justice League, as they become the point of contact between the Justice League and the FBI, by request of the League.  Occasionally hardened criminals walk into the FBI and ask to confess their crimes specifically to Agent Burke and his team. And Apparently their CI knows the Red Hood, somehow (in that the Red Hood sometimes showed up at their crime scene to flirt outrageously with the CI, the first few times the CI got really flustered but after that he started to flirt back). 

Eventually Neal/Tim does begin to remember his past, oddly enough the trigger was a spleen in a jar that was left on his desk in the White Collar Office (Ra’s Al Ghul was…pleased that Tim was not dead and displeased with the Organization the abducted him and  tried to fry Tim’s brain).

[thesoftboiledegg]

Rock on! 🎶🎵

After I walked around, took pictures and grabbed a gift from the Rickmobile, I decided to drive home. I'm not interested in watching the anime, so why stay for the screening?

I drove about ten minutes away, and I thought--nope, I'm going back. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Watching movies and TV shows is way more fun when you're in a crowd. I'm an MCU fan, so I know how it works.

Earlier that evening, people were parked in the chairs, ready for the show.

Adult Swim reminded them not to record the episode. "We shouldn't have to tell you this, but people suck."

It started raining on the drive back to the Rickmobile, but luckily, it didn't last long. Unfortunately, I arrived just in time to catch the last five minutes. Whoops.

But they announced that they'd air the episode again! I just had to kill thirty minutes.

Check out that guy's Morty mask! 👇

I was hungry, so I bought a hot dog and homemade chips from a food truck. Adult Swim blasted their Spotify playlist--with ads. Apparently, they didn't want to spring for Spotify Premium.

The crowd slowly thinned out. The Rickmobile ran out of merchandise and closed up shop.

Weird, it looks like an ice cream truck in that first photo. 🍨

Morty managed to look even more terrified in the darkness. Someone helpfully illuminated his face with a spotlight.

Before the episode began, the crew played a track that I thought was a remix of the Rick and Morty theme song, but apparently, it's a track called Birth4000 by Floating Points.

And then it was showtime!

Before the episode, Adult Swim played another reminder that this preview was "just between us" and that piracy is bad. And they weren't joking--a guy standing next to me got caught recording the episode and had to leave after deleting the video from his phone.

The episode itself was OK. I enjoyed the art, animation and theme song, but the story was hard to follow. Summer was a badass, though. I also loved getting a glimpse of the Rick with long hair. I'll admit it: I'm biased because my OC is a fellow long-haired Rick.

Thinking about it now, I wonder how many people in the crowd also had OCs or roleplayed, wrote fics, made fan art, etc. It's easy to forget that even a lot of diehard fans don't take that route. We're our own little community inside a giant fanbase.

I hope I can attend another event like this in the future. It's one thing to spot thousands of Rick and Morty fans on Twitter or Reddit, but to see how many people love the show in person? And that's just a tiny fraction of its viewership.

Here's to season eight and beyond!

[scoobydoodean]

just saw somebody saying that cas is a pushover for dean…. obviously that’s not true. but can i have some solid evidence just to make me feel more sane?

I mean Cas's baseline state is ignoring what anyone wants him to do imo. It's just when he ignores what most people want him to do, he makes this face: 🙄

And when he ignores what Dean wants him to do, he makes this this face. 🥺

But anyway:

"You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in." (4.02)

ANNA: "Uhm, guys, the angels are talking again. / SAM: What are they saying? / ANNA: It's weird. Like a recording. A loop. It says: "Dean Winchester gives us Anna by midnight, or we hurl him back to damnation." (4.10)

"[I tricked you into coming into town] Because whatever I ask [for you to turn an innocent person over to me for execution], you seem to do the exact opposite [protect them from me]." (4.15)

After kidnapping Dean to make him torture for them: "This is too much to ask, I know. But we have to ask it." (4.16)

[Kidnaps Dean and locks him up] (4.22)

[Flies away abruptly because Dean asks a question he doesn't want to answer] (5.01)

"I killed two angels this week. My brothers. I'm hunted. I rebelled. And I did it, all of it, for you, and you failed. You and your brother destroyed the world—and I lost everything, for nothing. So keep your opinions to yourself." (5.02) (Note: Cas blaming Dean for everything going wrong here is also some major bullshit).

CASTIEL: May I borrow [your amulet]? / DEAN: No. / CASTIEL: Dean. Give it to me. / DEAN: All right, I guess. (5.02)

Cas flies off to kill Jesse when Dean and Sam are in direct moral opposition. (5.06)

ANNA: I'd say the Winchesters don't trust me. / CASTIEL: They do. I don't. I wouldn't let them come. (5.13)

You're not gonna finish that? [Takes Dean's burger without waiting for an answer] (5.14)

[Kidnaps Dean and locks him up] (5.18)

"Maybe they're desperate. Maybe they wrongly assumed Dean would be brave enough to withstand them." (5.18)

[Beats the shit out of Dean in an alley] "I rebelled for this?! So that you could surrender to them?" [kidnaps Dean and locks him up again] (5.18)

DEAN: Whoa, wait. You’re gonna take on five angels? / CASTIEL: Yes. / DEAN: Isn’t that suicide? / CASTIEL: Maybe it is. But then I won’t have to watch you fail. 

CASTIEL: You think I came because you called? I came because of this. [The Staff of Moses] / DEAN: Oh, well, it's nice to know what matters. / CASTIEL: It does help one to focus. (6.03)

CASTIEL: I need your help. / SAM: [ Scoffs. ] That's rich. Really. / CASTIEL: [ Grunts, tosses the jar of locusts at SAM. CASTIEL performs air quotes during this speech. ] Sam, Dean, my "people skills" are "rusty." Pardon me, but I have spent the last "year" as a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. But believe me, you do not want that weapon down here. Help me find it. Or more people will die.

[Flies away abruptly when Dean asks anything he doesn't want to answer] (6.03)

Cas tortures a child while Dean pleads with him not to do it (6.03).

[Yanks Dean's wrist over without asking and slices his palm open to use his blood for a spell] DEAN: Whoa, whoa! Hey! Ahh! Why don't you use your own? / CASTIEL: It wouldn't work. I'm not human.

[Flies away abruptly when Dean is mid-sentence] (6.06)

Cas ghosts Dean for days while Dean pleads for help in prayers (6.05-6.06)

Those are some moments of note up to my current rewatch episode.

Less organized but past current rewatch point some random momence:

The entire plot of season 6 where Cas is going behind their backs the whole time culminating in him refusing to let go of his plan while Dean pleads him to do just that.

Fun lil Deancas bitchy compilation set here

[Beats the shit out of Dean flies away with the angel tablet]

Refuses to come out of Purgatory

Ignores Dean's nightly prayers in Purgatory

Ignores Dean's prayers and calls all of the tiiiiiiiime sometimes for weeks

Locking Dean in the dungeon... again. (S9)

DEAN: I'm glad you're here / CAS: *Leaves* (10.03)

Keeping Demon Dean from doing demon things :(((( (10.03)

Works with Sam to decode the Book of the Damned behind Dean's back.

CAS: No fighting. / DEAN: Tell [Claire] that. / CAS: Both of you.

"YEAH you know what I like about him? It's that he's sarcastic, but he's THOUGHTFUL and APPRECIATIVE too."

"If I plan to do anything else stupid, I'll let you know."

CAS: So I should just sit here? / DEAN: Pretty much. / CAS: NO.

[Look of utter loathing] "Dean. You are NOT a talking dog." (13.16)

"At least I don't look like a lumberjack."

Steals The Colt to kill Kelly Kline when Sam and Dean want to save her -> Does a 180 into wanting to protect Kelly and still won't include Sam and Dean, instead knocking them unconscious (12.19)

Locks Sam and Dean out of the dungeon so he can torture Donatello for information (13.14)

Also: #hot girl cas. And anyway, if Cas decreases his bitchy basline tendencies to be bitchy around Dean and Dean only, and instead indulges him occasionally by doing things like dressing up like cowboys, we should be fond of this because the angel the size of a Chrysler building who has killed thousands lets Dean put him in little outfits to make him happy and there is something very cute about that.

[brainyrot]

The people of IM Universe (those you remember) going to BATIM in full detail! Or the dog gets it 🐶 🤺/j

"the..hell?.." ink dripping from the walls, yellow everywhere, posters about people he seems to know but..not quite.

it's a studio, he thinks, maybe he's just dreaming. Or he's drunk, that's also an option, but he doesn't remember neither drinking nor going to sleep.

as he gets up, he touches his face, realizing he has a crack. "Ugh.." what a pain. "Mugman?" He asks, quietly, who knows who or what's in here.

but now that he gets a full view of things, this is weird.

There's posters of..Boris. of..Alice? Of bendy? Portraying different adventures, like some kind of tv show or cartoon. But neither of them had a history of..being in any kind of stuff like that.

"what the cuss is this.." he whispers to himself, already thinking of shooting in the face the first thing he sees moving, but it's so dead in here the only noises you can hear is his own breathing.

the more he wanders in, the more it gets freaky. There's various desks of what seems to be animator's desks, doodles of bendy, of his own best friend? Who is the freak drawing bendy so much?

there's studies of bendy, animations..or.. recordings. He can't tell, there's even stuff written on the walls. This is just creepy.

"he lied to us"

"dreams come true"

"beware the ink demon"

There's a demon here now? Just GREAT. just what he NEEDED. And by the name he's..an ink demon. Frankly he never saw one, nor heard of one. He assumes it's some subspecies of a water demon, or something like that.

..so the ink all over the place is from that demon guy, huh? Okay..

the door is shut, he can't go back out, so the only other solutions aside from standing in one place until he rots and dies, is keep walking and (hopefully) find another way out.

the posters just keep appearing on the walls, even cutouts now are around which makes things even more..weird. it's all about cussing bendy. Why is it all about bendy? Are they some worshipping demon cult? And the demon they are worshipping is bendy? That's just..weird. eugh. He never understood these kind of people.

but it would also explain the "ink demon" deal. But then, why "beware"? Bendy is anything but dangerous or something to be cautious of.

but the more he looks around the more disgusted he gets. It smells like rotten corpses in here, and he doesn't know why since the only thing here is ink.

maybe the ink were all victims of the ink illness..but it doesn't explain the smell..no one ever smelled like an actual corpse after melting. Rather, it smelled like ink, and that's it. That's why it was so horrifying to look at.

It's ink.

There's no trace of the person left anymore.

oh but Boris' corpse cut open on the table can explain the smell more than the ink.

"wh- BORIS!" The cup shouts, horror in his eyes and air leaving his lungs.

What the hell happened here?! who did this?! Why is Boris here..cut open with..

The dark.. puddles... awaken.."

Okay this is bad. REALLY BAD. The kid didn't deserve it, and now- there's a possible threat around.

if-

..if this happened to boris- then- then what about mugman? If they even dared to lay a finger on him, he'll blow this place up.

finger up, bullet ready.

But no one is there.

breathing, not his own.

faint laugh, not his.

ink.. coming..out of the walls?

there's surely a demon here, and..and no.

No it couldn't be the demon. it just can't be. The demon would have been way too brutal, maybe someone that works for the demon? A debtor?

where the hell did he end up to? Where the hell did they get Boris?! who did this?!

how is he gonna explain this to bendy?! He can't deal with something like this! Not right now! Not- ever.

"-HEAD?! CUPHEAD?" mugman.

MUGMAN! "MUGS!" oh stars. Is he here too?!

"MUGS WHERE ARE YOU?! ARE YOU HURT?!"

Run. Run as fast as you can.

"uh- NO! but..you gotta see this.." see what?

"..wh-"

"I think we found..the ink machine."

A voice. A soul. The ink speaks to me.

It tells me your secrets.

[0mysticmidnight0]

~Mystically Broken AU - Chapter 4~

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You wake up earlier than usual, around 5 in the morning. You walked to your usual spot to meet either MichelAngelo or Raphael. After you, cleaned up and changed, you stop when you hear Donatello and Leonardo arguing.. "I KNOW YOU DID IT! STOP LYING, NARDO!" "I SWEAR! IT WASN'T ME THIS TIME!" "You're the only one who could've done it!!" "What proof do you have?!" "There wasn't a trace! The only person it could've been was YOU and your misuse of your ninpo! No one else could have left a crime scene so precise." "I'm telling you, Don! It was NOT me!" "I TOLD YOU, IT'S DONATELLO! NOT DON OR DONNIE OR-" He spots you and Donatello stops. "What? What else do you have to sa-" Leonardo stops as well once he sees you. "Right, your meeting with Raph was delayed. He said he was busy with Big bro stuff.. His words not mine. The first party you have to attend will be later tonight. I will be accompanying you." Right... you forgot about the four parties this year you had to attend to plead their innocence despite knowing they'll continue their "heroic" deeds.. to get what they want. Well, it was either that or dying. "W-Wait. I don't know how to help you yet! I don't know.. i can't.." "It seems we don't have time for that, you'll have to find an alternative."

You groaned as you were pressured to think of something on the spot.. "The party will take place in a Museum. Luckily my package came just in time. Here." He presents you a purple box. You take it. "Very... your style." He laughs at your comment. "Nothing more and certainly nothing less!" "Why can't i go with them first? I can go to a museum and talk all fancy too y'know!" You check the time again, it was pretty early. You still didn't eat too.. As if hearing your thoughts, Donatello snaps his fingers and the drone looking bot, S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. was it? hovers over, with a cup of coffee on top of it. You grimaced as you remembered the last coffee Donatello offered you.. (chapter 2 reference<3) You hesitantly took a sip and you look at him weird.. or shocked? It tasted like how you like your coffee.. not too sweet and DEFINITELY not too bitter. huh.. "How did you..?" "To answer both of your questions, I've known them for longer and i'm sure with a little help they can come up with something in no time!" Donatello says this confidently while you just hesitantly took a long sip from your coffee... Leo just crosses his arms and raises his imaginary brow at Donatello. You just walk back to your room. You sit down at your desk and stare at and analyze Donatello's criminal files again.. and you groan. The little drone came in with a plate with food on top of him. You smile and pat the drones head as you take the food. "Thanks, Shelldon." The drone.. smiles back? "No problem bruh!" and it hovers away.. i didn't know robots knew slang.. You put on some of your favorite tunes and use your headphones. Slightly bopping your head to the music as you look through Donatello's criminal records. (many hours pass) You check the time, and sighed. You continued looking. You received a message from Donatello. "Get changed. We leave in 2 hours." You open the purple box and see purple custom clothing.. it was also sparkly? Did Donatello make this? As you expected, it fit you perfectly. You were a bit creeped out but appreciated it anyways. You fix your hair and get cleaned up, you leave your room to see Donatello fixing his goggles. He looked, breathe taking.. "Hm, we have an hour to spare." You two made your way to the living room and sat on the couch. "Hey, Beautiful. Come around often?" You hear Leonardo chime from behind you and you smile. You were never complimented much.. So it felt like taking a breathe of fresh air. "It's still me, y'know." "I don't see the difference." You paused and think about it before Donatello asks you a question. "Have you thought of what to say? How about you mention my advanced intellect!" "Not really.. It's not like i can say, Hey! My friend here can make super deadly weapons that can attack and defend- THATS IT!" Leonardo looked at you like you just exploded. "What?" Donatello thinks for a bit.. "That could work.. " Leonardo just looks at you both in confusion. "Can someone fill me in here? DO you two share the same brain or something?" "Donatello here could build and help advance police force weapons or even army weapons! They'll surely take us up on that and in return they'll stop trying to hunt him down as they see him as powerful ally!" Leonardo just looks at us still dumb founded. "Do i have to explain in dum-dum terms?" Leonardo ignores Donatello's question. "Are you sure about that? We don't know what the government or especially the police and army would do. Those guys's loyalty can be bought for just a few bucks. You and Donatello look at each other and nod at Leonardo. "If you two say so.. I trust you." "And Don, sorry- uhm. Donatello. I swear, it's not me who broke in your lab and stole your syringes. " "I'll forgive you temporarily and.. Its Donnie." You smiled at the two. Wait.. someone broke in and stole Donatello's syringes..?

[thatonebirdwrites]

ugh

I woke up crying and so damn depressed. And wondering why I write or draw or create anything. It's just one of those days. It doesn't help that my health is poor -- as in the pain and fatigue has been horrible, and even finishing a chapter to throw up on AO3 didn't net me a boost of serotonin like it usually does. Comments start to fade when a work gets a little too long I've been noticing. Didn't help that my dreams were filled with dying on a besieged space station that was slowly losing air. While the only person on the planet that cared struggled to convince superheroes to save me -- except they wouldn't because I had said 'depicting a genocide like it's an action movie just for the sake of showing it is fucked up.' Weird-ass dream. Though my opinion hasn't changed. Depicting a genocide like it's a fun action sequence where the showrunner is literally on record saying he always wanted to "see" the genocide in his favorite childhood show = fucked up. Oh, while I'm at it, the original showed the aftermath of genocide and how much it harms people for generations in a way that honors those who died, and doesn't turn it into action-porn. It discussed generational trauma and explored how we should never forget or let go of the past, but instead honor and remember it so that we fight to make sure it never happens again, so that the future we build is better and more equitable than before. The 'let's depict a genocide for funsies' showrunner took that nuanced message and threw it out the window; instead had one of the protagonists say: "Let the past go." Then had a whole plot arc about how the weak need to get stronger in order to fight oppression (also fucked up view). Anyway, in my dream, those opinions meant no superhero wanted to rescue me as I was dying on a besieged space station. Sounds about real I suppose. Bonus points if you know what shows I'm talking about. I don't dare tag it because I'd rather not get hate mail. I get enough of that for being disabled, trans, and a writer of wlw ships. But yes, today is my 'I'm pretty isolated and depressed' day. So I'm watching a Norwegian livestream of a train and crying into vegan ice cream.

[theexit392]

IT COMES IN WAVES

First, let me be clear. I have always been, and always will be...into it.

Pants pooping.

Or watching women poop in their panties. I'm always ready for it. However the level of my personal activity seems to come in waves.

Since I started to shit my pants for fun around age 5, I have gone weeks without shitting my pants.

I have also gone a month straight pooping my pants, at least once, every single day. I was really really focused on setting that personal milestone, and took some risks to do it....but more on that in a moment.

I feel free to destroy my underpants under 2 common circumstances which are mostly equitable in the comfort department. Either when I am alone, and know I'll be alone for at least a few hours. Or when its just my wife and I home by ourselves. Pooping for fun is not really her thing, but she is a really accepting, wonderful woman who somehow understands that for some reason I like to poop my pants. Poop my pants, and subsequently jerk off to completion. Then hit the showers. When she suspects I've been up to no good (the odor is a pretty non-subtle giveaway) she'll usually sneak up behind me and pat the load and giggle. Despite this not being her kink, she is very sexually open and I am one of the lucky ones whose wife will participate with me and my kink on occasion. Not always. But she does it. She knows fucking up her panties is the surefire way to make me explode like...right now!

Showering directly after climax is one of the many things that fascinate me about my kink. (after Why? Really? and Weird?) I could stay in dirty underpants for hours and hours. Sleep in it. Wake up. Poop some more. Just hang out by myself as long as I can in a pair of filled up undies. Those times are, ironically, a great time to clean the house and organize. But as soon as I get my dick in my hands and make the thing squirt. I need to get clean.

Another thing that fascinates me is during periods of high activity, I WILL take the risk that I might get caught. For instance, during that every day for a month run? I let deuces run wild during times I normally would not feel comfortable shitting myself. I typically will not risk it when my wife's kids are with us. A catch there would be super-duper awkward. My stepson (if you saw us together you'd swear there was some biology there)..would never ever let me live it down. It would be a running joke until the day he puts me in a nursing home. Don't get me wrong, I would laugh with him. During that fateful run for the record, there was a morning where urge came before they left for school. Normally I would punt and sadly wave goodbye to the misplaced turds in the toilet bowl This day, there was a record at stake. So I hid away in the bathroom and shit my pants. I feigned taking a shower until I absolutely knew they were gone.

Another risk of note we have a lady that comes to clean our house once a month, and she usually comes early in the morning. Right about prime time. She is an attractive woman and it would be a major embarrassment if she found out. She is also friends with many of my in laws. None of those jokes would be fun. BUT! There was a record to chase. So, I slinked away to a bathroom that I knew she'd clean later in job. Give it time to air out, I figured. So, cheeks clenched, i close and lock the door and hit the fan. I stood there in front of the toilet and loaded my pants. I stood there for about a minute to savor the sensation before dumping the load into the potty, wiped up really good...tossed the underwear into the washer, put on a fresh pair while she was mopping the kitchen. I have to say, it was a major naughty turn on to hear the noises of house cleaning by someone who's not my wife while filling my underwear behind a door 15 feet away. There wasn't any time to crank one off, but the streak was in tact. Winning.

That was probably a few months ago and today, I have apparently entered into a period of high activity with double plus risk-taking.

My step son frequently has friends over and they will hang out and sometimes a couple of the kids will sleep over. This past weekend was one of those times. An absolute fucking NO NO of a situation I normally wouldn't ever consider to try and get away with some "shit" right?

Wrong. Apparently.

It was past 11 and the get together was winding down. My wife had gone to bed and I stayed up to ensure there was no high school grade hijinx. I was standing alone outside on the front porch having a beer and enjoying the summer night weather when I felt....a little something. I am usually a morning pooper, so a night poop is always a bit of a pleasant surprise. I took a swig of my beer and just let my asshole relax to evaluate what I might be dealing with. 50/50 its a fart. As I relaxed I felt the lovely sensation of a turtle head just beginning to crest the anal threshold. You'd think, considering the risk, I'da just sucked that thing back up into my ass and gone in and done business the way civilized people do it. Nah. Not this time compadre. I just kept staying relaxed and let that snake flow out as I leisurely sauntered back in the house and into the bathroom. Savored for a minute. Dumped it out. Wiped up semi-okay, pulled up the stained drawers and went about the evening.

Nuts.

Thinking about it this minute I seems inconceivable that I would have ever tried such a thing! Except, yet again...last night. Watching some naughty movies hidden away on the couch in the upstairs lounge, while quietly stroking I made a small push into my underpants. I could hear frequent activity downstairs. What do those kids do in the middle of the night?? What am I doing in the middle of the night!!!?? So I'd hear a bedroom door open. I'd freeze. Breathe shallow. Pause the moaning on my phone. And wait until I hear the activity in the kitchen stop, listen for the door close on the return trip, then I'd go back at it. Stroke. Push a little more. Freeze, pause, don't breath, stroke, push, freeze, pause, don't breath, stroke, push, freeze, pause, don't breath, over and over until gooey fireworks. Then the trick of not falling asleep before I could sneak back downstairs, clean up and crawl into my proper bed.

Sigh.

So that brings me to today, and the current situation. Early this morning I had a very moderate, nothing monumental, morning poop. Did it in the usual way. On the throne, playing cards on my phone, drinking the morning Cup O' Joe. It was the kind of poop you think, might not have been enough for the day. I was suspicious that another could come knocking at some point. So, about a half hour later my wife leaves for pickle ball. Step-daughter still sleeping in her room on the other side of the house.

On a very rare occasion, I will wear a pull up. I'd probably wear them more often if I could find a brand or style that really fit what I like to do in them. They don't seem to be well engineered for man sized dumps. But, when I feel so inclined to indulge, I keep a package tucked away in our walk in closet.

So after my wife left, I put one on without any real urgency to do anything in it. And just put on clothes. I don't think the pull ups are noticeable at all with the gym style shorts I wear around the house. I always put on a pair of boxer briefs over them so they don't make "the noise". So kind of just going about my day at this point. My wife comes home a couple hours later. I'm still clean and dry at this point. She picks up her daughter and they go on a little shopping trip. I NEVER leave the house wearing one of these things. Except never say never. Left the house. Went to a store. Piddled a little bit, just to feel that rush. Came home and immediately after lunch I feel the need to poop! Yay. Push. Awesome! I do change out of that one before anyone gets home. But usually a poop would be the main event and i'd seal that fucker up in 2 trash bags and bury it in the outside can. Then I'd go back to undies and have an otherwise normal day. As I sit here typing, I have had to change my pull up because I've leaked from pissing 3 times . This one, is currently wet, and I think there may be a blessed night poop in my future. The whole house is up and I've been walking around like nothing is unusual.

But I know.

And it makes me a little crazy.

And I think this is just the tip of the iceburg for this period of activity.

P.S. if anyone knows a great pull up with padding all the way up the back for a, slightly larger, than an average guy. My waist is 38. My thighs are muscular. If they fight leaks well then...bonus! Let me know in a comment what I should look for and where I can get them.

[oneatlatime]

The King of Omashu

I confess I've already taken to skipping through the intro. I wonder what I'll do with the whole 45 seconds that saves me.

Why wear one tie when you could wear three? Actually I learned a couple of days ago (thanks to *gasp* a follower! Never thought I'd have those!) that Katara's hairstyle is an authentically Inuit thing, so maybe Sokka's triple tie is too? Then again, boomerang isn't.

Not subtle. Still gorgeous.

The cart! Maybe the cabbages were rotten, but the cart was fine!

This guard has absolutely massive hands. Also props to Katara for getting that mouthful of a cover name out on the first try. Do you think they rehearsed?

Nice to see bending used for something other than fighting. Also, I would have ridden the hell out of those slides.

It does not take a mad genius to figure out that slides are for sliding.

Are we sure that's the most efficient way to package spears?

Oh my god these poor kids have no tailbones left. Their spines!

This guy restocked fast.

This whole set piece with the slides is really fun. I love the music, and the timing on the jokes is great.

SPINES!

"Malicious destruction of cabbages." The throwaway lines in this show are great. How did they determine intent?

Look, none of you have room to talk. Maybe the king is weird, but you all just went on a city-wide destruction spree. You're lucky his crown is crooked.

I like whoever is the King's voice actor. He reminds me of Dudley Moore. Dating myself a bit there. Also this is totally Aang's friend but old. And I'm not even going to try to spell his name until I've seen the credits, given my previous track record with spelling.

I like the guards' hats. They look cozy.

And the king gets it first try too! Pippinpadolopsicopoulos? My best guess.

I think he can keep you here Katara. You're not the one with spears. And he's also the king.

This king is living his best life. Feasts, mindgames, renovations. And fashion!

All of Momo's noises in this whole sequence are so expressive.

Never before have I seen a butt convey such disappointment and resignation.

So did they leave Momo in the wall?

Creeping crystal is a nifty maguffin.

Does the king just have these challenge chambers for whenever he's bored enough to mess with people? So, daily?

You're right Aang - sabre tooth mega rabbits are way more on brand than fluffy bunnies.

Earthbenders get airbender levels of air when they jump. I guess they make the ground kick them up into the air?

This episode is really a showcase for earthbending.

The king is so unbothered. He also seems to be anticipating every single one of Aang's strategies. Almost like he knows what to expect from an airbender.

This is neat. Turning solid rock to sand or dust. It's like waterbenders and freezing stuff.

Can we call this a tie?

Earthbenders are mole people.

Or maybe you figured out who he was because you talked about him twice at the beginning of this episode and his mannerisms haven't changed in a century.

Every time Sokka or the king make jokes that don't land in this episode, there's this disembodied coughing off screen. But they're all pretty funny! That being said, if you lived in this city with that guy as a ruler you'd probably develop humourlessness as a defence mechanism.

The first part of Aang's world (apart from Appa) that still exists. That's sweet.

Creeping crystal must be seriously light if you can walk around while encased in it. Also, rock candy is indeed delicious. But you can't bite into it like that without losing a few teeth.

"First of all, it's pretty fun messing with people." Perfect one sentence summary of this guy's entire personality! Also, points for self-awareness.

Some nifty exposition, reassurance & guidance, and a reminder that Aang doesn't have to do it alone. The king knows his stuff.

Poor cabbage man. This is going to become a thing like Sokka getting ragdolled isn't it?

It is spelled BUMI.

Final thoughts

I don't really have much to say about this episode. I think it's for introducing the audience to earthbending. Also for wacky hijinks, of which I am always a fan.

Sokka's voice actor, who has been consistently excellent for me, got his first meh line reading this episode, with the laugh after the kangaroo island joke. It didn't work for me.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the guard who talks to Bumi about the good and bad prisons is the same voice actor as Bumi himself. Just a guess, but I love it when that happens. Both because I get to hear a talent showcase and because I get to picture some random guy in a sound booth somewhere having a whole conversation with himself. I don't know how voice acting works, it's just a funny visual.

There's some serious angst potential in Aang and Bumi meeting again, but I am not feeling angsty today, so that potential will go unexplored. Which is also why I'm happy there was no Zuko this episode.

This episode wasn't as pretty as the Southern Air temple, but it was mostly indoors, so there wasn't a chance to have sweeping clouds and sunsets. And the Southern Air Temple did set a really high bar.

This episode was consistently fun and goofy. I liked it. Would have been nice to have more Appa.

[mariana-oconnor]

The Bruce Partington Plans pt 2

Last time, we had a very full complement of characters with both Mycroft and Lestrade involved. And a man was found dead on the underground with top secret papers in his pocket, some of which were missing.

I really do wonder why only some of them were missing. It takes more time to go through them and choose some than to just grab the lot and go. Or maybe he had the most important ones out and was showing them to his killer. It's weird.

“Have the carriages been examined for any sign of violence?” “There are no such signs, and no ticket has been found.” “No record of a door being found open?” “None.”

Ghost train...?

I mean, no, this is probably the most spurious supernatural possibility I have thus far suggested. But if he got a ghost ticket from a ghost ticket seller and had it checked by a ghost person at the turnstile and then the ghost train he got on evaporated into thin air after leaving the station?

No?

Fine.

“And a curve, too. Points, and a curve. By Jove! if it were only so.”

...Hm. Well the train would have to slow down for the curve, but also if it's unexpected and he had the door open, I guess the points might cause a bit of a jolt, the curve sets him off balance and out the door he goes. Maybe losing a few papers along the way?

Other than that, and my previous idea that there should be maintenance access particularly to spots where there are points, I can't see what Holmes is getting at here.

“I fear not, Mr. Holmes. The train has been broken up before now, and the carriages redistributed.”

Was this standard practice? It seems very inefficient to separate every carriage of every train and mix them around all the time. Why not just keep them going as they are unless you absolutely need to change them?

'Meanwhile, please send by messenger, to await return at Baker Street, a complete list of all foreign spies or international agents known to be in England, with full address.'

That doesn't seem very secure. I feel like that information should also probably not be sent out to random residences.

Why does Holmes insist on referring to his brother as 'Brother Mycroft' in this story, as well? Has he taken up holy orders and become a monk since we last saw him? We know he's your brother, Sherlock, you don't need to keep repeating it. I know not everyone is as clever as you, but you don't need to keep beating us around the head. We get it.

“The end is dark to me also, but I have hold of one idea which may lead us far. The man met his death elsewhere, and his body was on the roof of a carriage.”

Ah, yes, the curve and the points dislodged him, just off the roof, not out of the door. So he was accosted on a bridge and thrown over the side? Also there'd be less blood from a postmortem injury from falling onto the tracks, or alternatively the blood from the original injury would be elsewhere.

(Although I have no trust in anyone's pathology skills in these stories anymore because... well...🐇🐇)

“Sir James, sir!” said he with solemn face. “Sir James died this morning.”

Oooh, the plot thickens. If this is not related then it is very coincidental.

“Good heavens!” cried Holmes in amazement. “How did he die?” “Perhaps you would care to step in, sir, and see his brother, Colonel Valentine?”

Look... I've been trying not to say 'it must be the Colonel' because I feel like at this point, the joke is too obvious. But now we have the Colonel's brother dead and Colonel Valentine is right there and...

Guys.

Guys.

If the Colonel turns out to be a dick again...

...an instant later we were joined by a very tall, handsome, light-beared man of fifty, the younger brother of the dead scientist. His wild eyes, stained cheeks, and unkempt hair all spoke of the sudden blow which had fallen upon the household. He was hardly articulate as he spoke of it.

Well, this is not a typical Watsonian description of a bad guy. It's a very flattering description, actually. And he seems upset by his brother's death. But is that just put on? Have all of ACD's previous creepy colonels been a long-con mislead for this one Colonel who is good?

“It was this horrible scandal,” said he. “My brother, Sir James, was a man of very sensitive honour, and he could not survive such an affair. It broke his heart. He was always so proud of the efficiency of his department, and this was a crushing blow.”

I had assumed brain fever, but no... broken heart. Not even brandy could have saved him. Just terrible.

“I know nothing myself save what I have read or heard. I have no desire to be discourteous, but you can understand, Mr. Holmes, that we are much disturbed at present, and I must ask you to hasten this interview to an end.”

I know he's grieving, but trying to end the interview early is a bit suspicious. Not a lot suspicious, but still a bit. I mean, he's a colonel.

"Arthur was the most single-minded, chivalrous, patriotic man upon earth. He would have cut his right hand off before he would sell a State secret confided to his keeping. It is absurd, impossible, preposterous to anyone who knew him.”

Hey... his name's Arthur? I had kind of assumed that he just had the first name Cadogan, but no. Double surname. This has happened before. Arthur is a far more boring name than Cadogan. Pity.

New theory, to explain why he only had some of the papers on him. He knew that the plans were stolen and went to recover them, but was murdered by the real bad guys (maybe a colonel? who can say) and then they slipped the unimportant papers into his pocket and threw him off the bridge onto the top of the train to frame him for the theft and ensure no one was looking for another mole.

“No; his needs were very simple and his salary ample. He had saved a few hundreds, and we were to marry at the New Year.”

Nowhere is inflation more apparent than the line 'he had saved a few hundreds'. Lolol! Although even with inflation this would be a few ten thousands, which won't last you very long today. Especially with a wedding coming up.

“Yes,” she said at last, “I had a feeling that there was something on his mind.” “For long?” “Only for the last week or so. He was thoughtful and worried."

As you would be if you knew there was a spy and you were worried about confronting them and stopping treason. Perfectly reasonable.

“He said that we were slack about such matters—that it would be easy for a traitor to get the plans.”

It's official, the only competent person in the government has been killed trying to cover for everyone else's incompetence. I mean, he still failed to protect the secret, but still. The Colonel's all 'my brother was so proud of his department's efficiency', when his department was as leaky as a sieve.

RIP Arthur. I believe in you.

"We walked, and our way took us close to the office. Suddenly he darted away into the fog.”

Impressed that he managed to witness the crime when the smog was so thick people couldn't even see a body fall off the roof of a train in a tunnel. But sure. This would have been earlier in the day. Although in November the sun would be setting at, what? 4:30/4pm? Unless they were going to the matinee, there wouldn't have been daylight.

“It was black enough before against this young man, but our inquiries make it blacker”

I assume Holmes must be thinking along the same lines as me. Also suddenly dashing off in the middle of the fog and leaving your fiancee as witness would be a terrible heist. If he's been planning this for so long, surely he'd come up with something better than that.

Mr. Sidney Johnson, the senior clerk, met us at the office and received us with that respect which my companion's card always commanded.

Ooh, a new suspect. Or has he been mentioned before. I don't remember him, though. But he has the potential means and opportunity.

He isn't a colonel, though, so clearly that's a mark against him in the suspect pool.

“The place is disorganized. The chief dead, Cadogan West dead, our papers stolen. And yet, when we closed our door on Monday evening, we were as efficient an office as any in the government service."

I feel like there might be a disconnect here between 'efficient' and 'secure'. Clearly they're cutting corners on security to get things done more quickly.

“Only Sir James Walter and you had those keys?” “I had no keys of the doors—only of the safe.”

You know who has access to Sir James' keys? His brother the colonel! Well, and Sir James himself. Maybe he did it and then died from the shame and guilt.

Or it was the Colonel

(Is it going to be the Colonel? Seriously?)

"One other point: if a clerk in this office desired to sell the plans, would it not be simply to copy the plans for himself than to take the originals, as was actually done?”

I mean, yeah.

“It would take considerable technical knowledge to copy the plans in an effective way.”

Would it? Would it really? I can copy out a sentence in Korean so that people can read it. I can't read or write Korean, but I can copy it. I feel like copying things doesn't require a lot of technical knowledge. A photocopier can do it, after all. You just have to have a steady hand and an eye for detail.

"The double valves with the automatic self-adjusting slots are drawn in one of the papers which have been returned."

... did you have to be that specific. These are secret plans, right? Maybe don't go talking about the details of them with people?

Finally he asked the chief clerk to close the iron shutters, and he pointed out to me that they hardly met in the centre, and that it would be possible for anyone outside to see what was going on within the room.

In the smog? In the dark? I guess the dark would help, because whoever was in there would have to light a lamp, but still. Arthur and Violet must have walked really close to the building. Super secure building.

"Why did he not do so? Could it have been an official superior who took the papers?"

Or a Colonel?

Or Sir James, I guess... or Mr Johnson. We shouldn't stereotype colonels just because almost all the ones we've met so far have been dicks. They weren't all the bad guy. Some of them were just dicks.

It's possible there's one good colonel left in London.

'There are numerous small fry, but few who would handle so big an affair.'

It's so amusing to me that Mycroft just knows this about the spies. He's just like 'these are the important spies' and Mycroft just has a list of their addresses ready to go. They have a real 'I know that you know that I know that you know, but no one is saying anything because that would cause an international incident and we have no proof we can actually use' vibe going on here. Espionage is so weird, guys.

'Am dining at Goldini's Restaurant, Gloucester Road, Kensington. Please come at once and join me there. Bring with you a jemmy, a dark lantern, a chisel, and a revolver.'

Well that's certainly a place to end the section.

Sounds like next time will be a lot of fun.

But is the Colonel the culprit? He doesn't seem to have any sort of implication towards him at this point. It's far more heavily weighted towards his brother being overcome by remorse.

But... he is a colonel.

[justhere4kpop]

Dude, I Love Fishing

A few days off between comeback stages and your boyfriend wants to go fishing, he's pretty lucky you love him.

pair: Yunho x Reader

w/c: 1.3k

a/n: Just another fluffy Yunho one-shot, also the number of times I accidentally deleted this post while editing is embarrassing, anyways I hope you guys enjoy it!!! Any feedback is appreciated, and any interactions are welcomed and loved! Also ironically the use of a Seventeen song has no correlation with my recent dive into them. Also I definitely did not take or make any of the photos just used them for the header....that I did make....Okay enjoy!!!

tags: @yunbug, @starillusion13

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Comeback season was rough, between recording, rehearsals, outfits and fittings, photoshoots, stage testing, and shooting music videos, promos, teasers, and doing interviews…you could say it’s a full time job. Yeah, comeback season was rough, Comeback season for Ateez? Never stops, with the boys getting bigger and better every comeback it was hard to get them to sit still for even a moment, not that they would, it’s like babysitting hyperactive 3 year olds who just got told it was nap time but they “don’t need a nap they can stay up forever.” but probably less spit and more “you’re not the boss of me.”

“Wooyoung in this moment I very much AM the boss of you.” I groaned trying to get him to stop so I could hear the directions the GPS was taking us. “Do you want to get lost?!”

“We’re in Seoul! We can’t possibly get lost!” he threw his hands up in the air.

“And you know Seoul well enough that if I turn off this GPS you can get us there On Time?” I raised my eyebrow and he looked out the window. “That’s what I thought.”

“I can-!” he started

“Wooyoung-ah, please don’t torture my poor girl, I do that enough at home.” Yunho spoke up from the middle row.

“EWWWW!” came a chorus of voices.

“Not like that!!!!” he waved his hands in front of his face.

“Even I knew that one was coming Yu.” I sighed now on the receiving end of questions of my personal life.

His torture by the way is the sweaty hugs after dance practice before he showers because he just can’t wait that long to hug me, the way he lays on top of me while watching tv or a movie and I mean FULL BODY WEIGHT almost like that scene from Disney’s Lilo and Stitch where Nani goes “Oh no gravity is increasing on me!” only he does it because it’s “much more comfortable”, the endless times he’s had me read the Spider Man comics to him because he likes the character voices I make, not to mention we’ve seen every version a few times. He’s decided to cook dinner a few times only he’s wanted to experiment and try things without a recipe, which is fine, but it’s always stuff he’s never tried making before, last time he mixed up sugar and salt….again….Yeah, I would say he puts me through a few trials at home….I wouldn’t change them, in fact I kind of miss it when he’s away on tour and I’m stuck back home. 

“y/n!?” Yunho called out from the kitchen. Here comes the soup popsicles again…

“Yeah?” I sighed and put down my book.

“We should take a trip!” he announced coming into the room. “Why are you closing your eyes with your hand out?”

“Huh? Oh uh….nothing. A trip? What kind?”

“Let’s go to the lake! We can go fishing! Bring the guys along and everything!”

“Fishing? Yunho you know I don’t like fishing, it’s…hard (weird)”

“Oh come on Jagiya, pleaseeeee, it’ll be like a beach trip or something, water, swimsuits, picnic!”

I sighed. “Fine.”

It was in fact, NOT like the beach, I’m covered head to toe in waterproof clothing, the most shapeless pair of waterproof overalls or waders, wellingtons, a vest with way too mant pockets, a floppy hat, and a waterproof shirt…oh and a life vest.

“You look beautiful” he smiled, I took a photo as he put on his life vest.

“You look ridiculous.” I chuckled at his outfit, it was normal…save for the Spider-man life jacket that was too small…

~~~~

“Yunho that’s for kids…” I said as we browsed our local Department Store.

“Nuh uh!!” he shook his head and smiled. “It says 5 plus y/n! I’m plus! I’m over 5!”

“I’m starting to doubt that.” I mumbled as I put it in the cart.

“Aw no way!!! Jagiya!” he called from behind me.

I turned and nearly fell over laughing, he found a pair of wayyyy too small goggles as well, he looked like one of those watermelons with rubber bands stretched around it until they burst.

“Yu, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you get those.” I snorted…never did that in my last relationship. 

~~~~~

“Well good thing I don’t have to impress anyone then hmm?” he gave me that face. “Come on I’ll catch the best fish for us to eat tonight.”

“We could’ve just gone to the store.”

“But this way it’s a date.”

“Grocery shopping is a date.”

“Okay fine you got me there.” he smiled. “But it’s nice to get some fresh air during comeback season!”

“Yu….it smells like mud…”

“Earth! I love it!” he smiled. “Come on I figure we can try the boat first.”

How did I let him talk me into this?

“Yunho?”

“Hmm?” he turned towards me.

“How much longer are we going to be out here?” I looked at him. “We’ve been out here for hours already.”

“Until you catch one too.”

“I’m fine not catching one.” I chuckled. He’s caught 5…who knew he was so good at it.

“Maybe if you don’t catch one in an hour.”

“Okay, fair enough.”

We waited…he started humming….it sounds kind of familiar.

“생각처럼 쉬운 게 없네요

매일 생각해요 난 어떻게 해야 할지

도착했다 싶을 때, 다시 시작이네요

앞이 깜깜할 때도” Yunho hummed softly.

“Whatcha singing?” I looked at him.

“Just something stuck in my head.” he smiled. 

“소용돌이치는 하루 속에

사소한 행복을 나에게 줘서

비어 있는 내 두 손에

세상의 모든 미소를 쥐여줘서”

“Seventeen?” I raised an eyebrow as he got louder.

He started swaying a little.

“Yunho be careful, you’re rocking the boat.” I looked at him….it was too late.

“소용돌이치는 하루 속에

사소한 행복을 나에게 줘서

비어 있는 내 두 손에

세상의 모든 미소를 쥐여줘서

가파른 길에 숨이 찰 때도

추운 날 길 잃은 때도

따듯한 온기와 함께 손을 내밀어주는!!!” he exclaimed standing up and what do you know the boat tipped over. “YUNHO!”

I broke the surface of the water.

“You owe me a new phone.” I looked at him after we swam back to the shore with the boat.

“Gladly.” he smiled and wrapped a towel around me still humming.

“You’re lucky I love you.” I huffed.

“I’m very lucky indeed.” he kissed my cheek but grimaced at the taste left on his lips.

“Yeah let me guess I taste how the lake smells?”

“No no just a piece of algae in my mouth…”

“I don’t believe you.” I sighed and we made our way to go get cleaned up and the boathouse.

“You know what they say, shower together and save water.”

“Are you seriously horny after tipping the boat over into a fish pond…and there’s mud in my hair?”

“What can I say…the mud really adds texture.” he chuckled.

“New phone and a new boyfriend.” I nudged him.

“Awwwwww come on.”

After I took my shower…alone. We sat on the deck to eat the lunch/dinner we brought along. I didn’t catch a single fish, I got knocked out of the boat and I lost my phone….

“You didn’t catch a fish but you caught one thing?”

“....yeah?” I looked at him knowing it was going to be bad.

“This boot!” he held up the waterlogged boot I got before he knocked us over dancing.

“I totally thought you were going to say ‘My Heart’” I laughed a little.

“Nah, you caught that a long time ago.” he smiled and pushed my wet hair behind my ear.

“You’re so annoying Jeong Yunho.”

“And you are the light of my life l/n f/n……D.I.L.F” he spelled out.

I spit. “What!?”

“Dude I Love Fishing!” he smiled and looked at me.

“Yunho! That’s not what that means!!!!” I laughed and hit his arm.

As we walked back to the car Yunho held up the boot again.

“Should we-”

“No we are not keeping the boot.” I chuckled. “We can get matching phone cases this time.”

“Well I am keeping you, so I guess I win.” he smiled. “Can I pick out the phone case?”

“Fine…you win.”

I am never going fishing again.

[otterandterrierwrites]

For the WIP asks, tell us about “Leia understands Chewie” and/or “chocolate bar theft thing” please?

“Leia understands Chewie” - The idea is that Han assumes Leia doesn't understand Shyriiwook because not many humans do, so he starts translating Chewie for her and Luke automatically. But Leia does in fact understand Shyriiwook, and she starts noticing that Han's translations are not always faithful. And this is not a big deal when it's just like, Han getting to the point or not translating the comments that are meant for him, but then she realizes he omits some very... interesting comments.

I only have 300 words of this written and forgot where I was going with it other than the general idea lol 😂 Here's a snippet from the beginning:

One of the many injustices of life was that everybody was supposed to know Basic, but nobody from the Core was expected to know any other languages. And if you didn’t speak Basic, well, you might as well not speak at all. As a result, it wasn’t unusual for people to openly communicate with each other in their first language in the presence of someone from the Core, when it was clear that the person didn’t have a clue about—or an attending protocol droid to tell them—what was being said. A Princess, even one from the Core, wasn’t just any person, though. Leia Organa’s extensive education had included a basic knowledge of several languages from around the galaxy, including Shyriiwook. Sure, she might have slightly altered her diplomatic records to claim a fluency she didn’t have—she really needed to get approved for a mission, at the time—but she still understood plenty. Enough to know that Han Solo was bullshitting her.

“chocolate bar theft thing” - This is a ridiculous thing about Han and Leia fighting over a chocolate bar that someone might have given Leia but Han decides to take as payment, and Leia decides to take it back. I have nearly 800 words of this, and it wasn't supposed to be a big fic anyway but... I also forgot where I was going with it 🙈

‘Will you give that back? It’s mine, I came to retrieve it,’ Leia said, taking a step towards him, but Han held the package up high. She glared at him. ‘Finders, keepers, sweetheart. How did you get this, by the way?’ ‘I found it. Which makes it mine.’ ‘Ah, but then you understand why finding it makes me mine. So weird, thought we weren’t bringing any luxury comestibles other than that cheap cocoa mix. Where would you find this?’ Han angled the rectangle down and pretended to examine it thoroughly. ‘This is a fine almond chocolate bar you found. Unless… you stole it when I wasn’t watching?’ ‘How dare you,’ Leia hissed. ‘I didn’t steal it. I told you, I found it, and it’s mine.’ ‘Or maybe somebody gave it to you?’ Han asked, ignoring her. ‘Maybe our little supplier fellow?’ ‘So what? It would only make it more rightfully mine.’ Han tapped his chin with his free hand, looking thoughtful. ‘Now why would she have given you a fancy chocolate bar…?’ Leia threw her arms out in the air. ‘Maybe she went through my entire records and found out I’m a huge chocolate fan, since it’s such a unique preference.’

Thank you!! <3

curious about my wips?

[herrlindemann]

Break Out - January 1996

Thanks to Ramjohn for the scans!

'Herzeleid' is an extraordinary album by an even more extraordinary band. This provides interesting topics for conversation, and (as always) everything is actually the same, ... but far from it!

As soon as I sit down at the table with the musicians in the Rosenau Theater in Stuttgart, their contours become blurred and I am exposed to a monstrous monster: the Rammstein collective!

“I can only function in this kind of community. There is simply no other way! That's why I try not to practice a personality cult." Rammstein makes his point of view clear right from the start.

And star producer Jacob Hellner and his team found out what it means to deal with such an entity bursting with self-confidence during the final mix of 'Herzeleid' in Sweden, which was even canceled.

“There was only a small offshoot of us present”, it sounds as a dark rumble. “We then drove to Hamburg - much to the delight of the sound man - to pat the producer on the fingers as a massive wall. We tried to be friendly, of course, but it pissed him off a lot the way we sit there and see how things are going. There was also real trouble, and some were in a bad mood. But in the end we pulled it off and made the best of the recordings, which I'm 80% happy with.”

This degree of absolute perfection also has its price. "I," Rammstein sighs, "need six times longer to make a decision, such as which video director to choose or which single to release. It's not easy, but the uncomfortable path is the path to happiness.”

If you look at the artwork of 'Herzeleid', the stage performance and such actions as the fashion show at a well-known designer in Munich, Rammstein can attest to a slightly theatrical image - not in a negative sense.

“Not theatrical, but open to any kind of art form. I just don't go on stage in a shirt and jeans, the stage show has to go with the music. I enjoy the staging a lot; a few things have been considered, a few are open, I'm still experimenting. And as for the cover: I'm a solid wall, live on stage as well as on record. Hence this artwork: Me as a massive wall of… flesh! A beast with six heads!”

And also a little pyromania it seems. Because without a comment, a petrol can is simply emptied on stage, and if the inexperienced spectator is lucky, he just barely escapes the sea of flames with an Olympic-sized jump.

"Maybe something went wrong, or better: went wrong," laughs Rammstein. “But if you're waiting for everything to be done professionally and with safety precautions, then you don't even try it. Also, the fire is there to communicate, to break the ice between the audience and me. Because announcements in the style of such classically stupid sayings as 'Hello Stuttgart, here I am' or 'I love you! I like you!' will not exist with me.”

The pre-tour of Rammstein will probably also remain unique, because this monster was presented together with Schlagerfuzzi's invited guests who couldn't even spell the term 'Rock'n'Roll' - chained, of course.

"But it worked!” enthuses this entity with a slightly diabolical undertone. “In the beginning it was weird playing in front of twenty to thirty people who were always dressed up. I really felt out of place there. But I managed to convince these guys. As long as they weren't lit, they even thought it was fine... but nothing serious happened! In a club with young people, everything is smoky, there's a mood in the air, fog - it's easy to give a concert there: but in front of a few suits, that was a challenge for me. But I couldn't always do something like that, produce so much hatred in front of a few people with a glass of champagne in their hands, but on this tour I tried to give everything, 1,000 people are in front of the stage.”

Shortly after the release of 'Herzeleid', Rammstein was already a huge thorn in the side of some, and many a record chain not only got a ban on advertising the sound carrier from the top executive floor, but this ingenious piece of aluminum was not even allowed to be made accessible to the customer - due to the supposedly tasteless texts.

"The BILD newspaper isn't being boycotted either," Rammstein gets angry at the message, which surprised him, "and it's far more tasteless and macabre, ... I don't get it! When I designed the music and the lyrics I didn't think about any record deals let alone censorship. I just made the music I wanted. And now that I hear reactions like this, hopefully next time I won't turn my head around and think, 'Is that allowed? Will you understand me? '. That's my biggest concern. Make music when your head thinks along, cuts something like that! But if someone boycotts me because of bad taste, let them do it! Only: I don't want to be mentioned in the same breath as any dumbass!”

It may be a bit provocative, or how else is the collective name Rammstein to be understood?

“My name obviously has something to do with the plane crash at the time. But I didn't know exactly what happened there, I only looked into it afterwards so that I wouldn't look so stupid when I was asked about it. But at first I just found the word really good. In hindsight I noticed that it's not so good to have such a name, but it stuck with me. And in the end there is no better name to describe my music.”

Sex/instinct/death - these three components clearly dominate the lyrical concept of Rammstein.

“I'll summarize these three points into one, and that's called love. So it's mostly love songs.”

Hmm, calling a song something like 'Weisses Fleisch' is kind of daring, because Rammstein puts himself in the role of a psychopath.

“Right, you recognized it. Others always ask, 'Isn't that a call for rape?' It's a song about two victims; the actual perpetrator becomes the victim if you listen carefully to the text. The song had an extreme riff and probably contains my heaviest beat, and that's where extremely deep lyrics come to mind, which really go to your heart. Incidentally, rape is a topic that is often talked about or written about in public. Curiously, when someone suddenly sings about it, they suddenly say, 'That's extreme!'. Hardly anyone talks about the points of view from which a perpetrator, i.e. a man, rapes a woman. Rape is a bad thing, but you should also look at the other side. Why does he do this? What is he feeling? What could he be thinking?”

The literary classic 'American Psycho' by Brad Easton Ellis immediately springs to mind. And indeed, Rammstein has already heard this comparison, but has not yet read the book, but they will do so as soon as possible. There is also an interesting parallel: 'American Psycho', a bitter satire on yuppie society in the States, has been praised to the skies by well-known literary critics, yet it always remains on the verge of being indexed, and some bookstores are shocked when asked about the book. "Intelligent people," Rammstein comments dryly, "who are not superficial and anxious also celebrate me. However, it does require a certain willingness to open up, and one should not close one's eyes to taboo subjects.”

Rammstein refuses to interpret the meaning and purpose of the complex lyrics.

“Then the magic would be gone, your own imagination would be lost. Just this much: One intention I have is that the lyrics are never flat!”

Most of the songs for the next album have already been written, and since the time between the creation of the songs and the recording process should be shortened so that everything stays fresh, we can expect another milestone as early as next year. Only: "I'll make everything easier for myself, I'll take my time and record as much as possible myself. And I already know pretty well where it's going. So I think the second album will be self-produced.”

Aha, were you dissatisfied with the producer Jacob Hellner?

“Not dissatisfied, but when you're confronted with a big name, you have correspondingly high expectations, and he's only human. I thought the man was making gold out of straw, but I didn't know that I was gold myself, so I kind of denied myself. Jacob just polished the gold a bit. I had to learn that first, because I judged myself to be worse than I am. He taught me that in the first place. He said: 'It's you! Stand up for yourself! You're good, and basically you don't need me at all!' He made it clear to me that I'm good, and he left me the way I am, didn't change anything about me.”