#and I understand how it can be discouraging don’t get me wrong

[kiwisandpearls]

as much as I understand people who lament over the decline of people who reblog stuff, and I say this in the nicest way possible:

the way some of you talk about this makes it sound like fewer people choosing to reblog fandom works on tumblr killed your grandma

[chxrryhansen]

2. Rafe x innocent (and kinda naive/ airhead?) reader where reader and rafe are dating (still very new) and reader keeps reminding him she wants to wait longer (when they are making out/feeling each other up) and he keeps trying to go further, so he tells/manipulates her that it’s not normal for girls to not want to go further and something could be wrong, so he “checks” her (rubbing her clit and fingering her) and asking things like “does that feel good?” “Doesn’t that make you want more?” “Something probably is wrong if you want me to stop”, just so he can convince her to say she wants more (so then he fucks her).   

-💎

ur asks have me going FERAL. your brain is so beautiful and it must be treasured and protected at all costs. i actually hate the way i wrote this but i was too far in to change it by the time i realised i didn’t like it😒😒 nevertheless, this is a long one guys so buckle up!! (1.5k words!!!😱😱)

₊♡₊˚ 🎀・₊✧

you and rafe had only been dating for a few weeks, relationships were pretty much a whole new thing for you since your upbringing hadn’t really allowed it. you hadn’t had sex before, ever. and rafe wasn’t going to be patient for much longer, the furthest you two had went is making out, when it got heated you pulled back.. pushing him away and saying you didn’t feel well.

rafe was getting desperate, you didn’t even realise what you did to him. he was painfully hard most of the time since you were oblivious to how sexual you were being. such as bending over right infront of his face, showing him your cutesy pink panties or accidentally grinding against his cock when you squeezed past him in the kitchen. rafes frustration was at its peak and he couldn’t take it any longer.

rafe stretched his arm around your waist as you both lay in bed watching tv, biting his lip in thought before reaching out to grip your jaw gently, turning you to face him. he leant forward, catching your lips in a deep kiss, it didn’t take long knowing rafe before it got heated, as his tongue began battling your own for dominance you pulled away, taking deep breaths as you stared up at him with big innocent eyes.

“what’s wrong, pretty girl?” he muttered, lifting his thumb to wipe his drool from your mouth.

“n-nothing rafe, i just.. i don’t… i can’t go any further with you, i-i don’t think i’m ready for that.” rafe’s patience was out of the window by now, all rational thoughts evaporating as his cock grew harder, straining against his pants, desperate to be inside your sweet cunt.

“baby…” he sighed. “this isn’t normal.”

you stared at him with a confused expression, your eyebrows knitted. “i-i don’t understand, did i do something?”

he was quick to shut that thought down “no, no, no, my sweet girl, it’s more about what you didn’t do. see, other girls your age…they love being good for their daddy’s, and i just don’t think you are being good f’ me.” tears began to whell up in your eyes, his negative feedback not sitting right in your stomach. “daddy?” you questioned gently, your bottom lip wobbling.

“yeah, i’m your daddy, baby. and i think it’s about time you start calling me that. it’s true, no? i take care of you, i feed you, pay for your clothes, hell, i even take you to the bathroom. i may aswell be your daddy, so that’s what your gonna’ call me from now on, you got that?” he speaks softly, not wanting to discourage you or push you further away but needing to be firm enough so you understand. he’s testing the waters. seeing how easy it is to control your sweet mind in ways only a man like him could.

“i mean.. yeah, that-that makes sense i guess.”

a sly smile appears on his face, his thumb wiping a salty tear from your cheek “good girl.” he lifts your skirt with one hand, pushing into your panties and rubbing your clit, you gasp in surprise at the new sensation. “daddy! w-what are you doing?” you ask in shock.

rafe sighs “daddy needs to give you a check up baby, just to make sure nothin’s wrong. all i need to do is rub that sweet button of yours and fuck my fingers into your pretty pussy, mkay?” your cunt involuntarily clenches around nothing. “mkay, daddy.” you moan. rafes fingers stray from your clit to your entrance, his cock growing impeccably harder from the feel of your wetness, your pussy leaking around his hand.

“d-daddy, feels s’ good.” you whimper as he pushes his fingers into your hole, your walls clenching instinctively around his thick digits. “yeah? you like that? you like it when daddy fingers your sweet pussy?” he groan into your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

he picks up his pace, fingering you roughly until the knot in your stomach begins to tighten, you grab at his wrist, pushing him away, which doesn’t really do much since your strength is no match for his own. “daddy! stop, i-i think i’m gonna’ pee.” you whine, embarrassment flooding through your veins. your cheeks flushed from the humiliation.

he lets out a small laugh, his famous smirk still painted across his face “no baby, your not gonna’ pee.. your gonna’ cum. your gonna’ cum with my fingers deep inside your cunt. ask me. ask daddy for permission.” he growls, a flip switching inside his brain. “p-please daddy, make me cum, please can i cum? please please please.” you beg, tears streaming down your face as you try desperately to hold back.

“cum.”

he growls, watching as your legs begin to shake, your pussy sucking his fingers further into your cunt. you cry out as your body spasms, a thick creamy fluid leaking out of you and into rafes palm. “that’s it, let it all out. dirty fuckin’ girl. creaming all over your daddy’s fingers.”

your breathing begins to slow as you come down from your orgasm although rafe keeps his fingers deep inside your pussy, catching you in a deep kiss. he takes your hand in his own and leads it down towards his cock, making you instantly recoil. rafe lets out a mixed groan of annoyance and sigh of disappointment under his breath. you look towards the bed, feeling guilty as ever. he turns you to face him again, his pretty blues simmering in darkness. “listen. pretty baby, i was trying to be nice earlier but… i think there is something wrong with you. all the other girls your age wanna’ fuck daddy, so why don’t you? i’ve been so patient with you sweets but, the clock’s tickin’.”

rafes fingers begin to fuck into you once again at a rapid pace, your whimpers and cries filling the room as he fucks you with his fingers. “see? doesn’t that feel good? doesn’t that make you want more?” you nod your head, dazed with pleasure. not even fully understanding his questions. “good girl.” he mutters before taking his cock out of his pants, before you even realise whats happening, rafe had removed his fingers and crawled on top of you, pushing the mushroom tip of his swollen fat cock against your entrance.

your eyes burst open in shock at the feeling “wait, wait, wait, da-DADDY! Oh fuck!” you practically screamed as rafe bottomed out in your pussy with a single thrust. essentially, popping your cherry. his hand is quick to cover your mouth as he glares down at you from above. his sanity is long gone by now, the crazed look on his face scaring you into submission.

“shut the fuck up. i-i’m done playing games now. your gonna’ shut your pretty little mouth and-and daddy’s gonna’ fuck your cunt until he cums deep inside you, okay?” you didn’t respond seeming as his hand was covering your mouth.

he lifted his palm from your mouth before quickly striking you across the face, you cried out as your skin began to fluster due to the impact of his hit. he swiftly gripped your jaw making you look him in the eyes once more “you-you fuckin’ answer me when i’m talkin’ to you. you nod your fuckin’ head when daddy asks you a question.” this time you were quick to nod your head, tears streaming down your cheeks as you sobbed a “y-yes daddy.”

if anything they just seemed to turn rafe on even more. “good… good girl.” he groaned before pummelling his cock further into your cunt, he began thrusting at a rapid pace, fucking you so hard the headboard began to bash against the wall. your screams of pleasure probably being heard for miles. “ohhhh shit, you see that, you fuckin’ slut?” he pointed your face towards where your cunt and his cock connected, a pool of pink cream surrounding the base of his cock, a mixture of blood and cum. you were too far gone to talk at this point, moans and whimpers spilling out of your lips as you simply nodded your head, your eyes rolling back.

“fuck i can’t believe you tried to hide this shit from me, tried to hide how much of a greedy fuckin’ cock slut you are. it’s okay though baby, daddy loves when you turn into a desperate little whore. gonna’ have you writhing on this fat cock every day of the week from now on.”

[karniss-bg3]

WRITING PROMPTS? Ayo how kar'niss react to being called pretty? Sucks the only time you can compliment him he takes it wrong. Weeps.

Kar’niss lowered his body to the lush grass below, taking time to rest his weary legs from a long days travel. The evening had fallen on the green fields where they decided to make camp, Tav nearby working hard at getting a fire going. The moon had come to rise casting a silver-toned hue over the landscape, particularly over the resting drider. Tav took notice as this was a rare moment of quiet for the pair often on the go with little time to stop. They admired their companion allowing their gaze to wander over every unusual feature he possessed, appreciating even the most minuscule detail.

“You’re beautiful,” Tav said, their voice quiet.

At first Kar’niss didn’t register what had been said much less that it was directed at him. His head raised to acknowledge the other, his head tipped to the side in confusion.

“Who are you talking to?”

“You. We’ve not had many moments to speak on our travels. I’m just now able to take you in, all of you. You’re beautiful,” Tav reaffirmed, their eyes locking from a short distance away.

The drider jerked his torso back, his pedipalps rolled into a tight curl against his lower body. A repulsed snort pushed from his nostrils.

“Do not tease us. We—I am not what you claim.”

Tav dusted off their hands and rose from their crouched position, daring to wander toward the defensive creature nearby. They stood defiantly ahead of him, eye level with Kar’niss lowered as he was.

“I’m not teasing. I mean what I say.”

They reached toward him, the tips of their fingers brushed a few rogue strands of hair from his face in a tender pass. Kar’niss retreated from the touch using his long legs to back away from the gesture. Every experience in his life up to this point told him it was a trap, a way to force his guard down to inevitably be stabbed in the back. Tav saw how tense his body had become, the wariness oozing from every pore. Tav approached their nervous companion with soft, careful steps.

“I won’t hurt you. I know...you’ve been told that before and others betrayed your trust. It’s why I helped you, I couldn’t stand by and watch them abuse you any further.” Tav inched closer until they resumed their previous position in front of him.

Kar’niss’ gaze lingered on Tav with deep rooted skepticism. His legs shifted beneath him, nervously trotting in place until he eventually settled.

“W-We..We..I. I! I—don’t understand.” Tav leaned in closer, a thin smile steadily stretched over their lips. “Then...allow me to explain,” they began. “Your eyes are a wonder, I feel safe knowing they are ever watchful.”

“No. Ugly, unnatural,” Kar’niss grumbled, his shoulders falling into a slump.

“Not ugly, not unnatural. I enjoy them, very much.” Tav lifted a hand to trace around the cluster of dark orbs on his forehead. They saw them blink out of sync which made them smile all the more. Kar’niss crossed his arms over his chest in a bid to self soothe still waiting for the worst to come.

“Your hair is soft and delicate. The moonlight does me a service by dancing upon each strand with such grace. My fingers can hardly resist getting lost in them.” They brushed the back of their hand along the wayward strands that kissed Kar’niss’ shoulder.

He shook his head, tipping his head back as if to spare Tav’s fingers the insult of touching him. “Ratty, thin, a disgrace,” he argued.

They would not be discouraged, knowing full well how much the Absolute had torn his confidence to shreds. “Your body, all of your body, is a marvel. Unique, strong, stunning.” Tav stepped closer, allowing their hips to nestle between Kar’niss’ pedipalps. A hand rested on one of the curled digits to coax it to wrap around their waist, their torsos melding sinfully close.

Kar’niss swallowed audibly and his breath hitched in his throat. “M-Monstrous, abomination, filth.”

His determined companion moved to cup the side of his face, their thumb caressing the rough patch of skin on his cheek. “Your lips, supple and firm. Scarred from a lifetime of torment.” Tav’s eyes fluttered closed, inching their body upward on their toe tips in order to reach.

Kar’niss had no time to process what was happening until it did. Their lips met, a white hot flash of emotion struck the drider quick as lightning. He felt a buzzing tingle that started in his cheeks and soon washed over his whole body like waves crashing over a rocky shore. Tav’s lips were tender, the kiss soft and gentle to allow Kar’niss to move at the pace he desired. At first his response was wooden as if too stunned to respond in kind, his head filling with so many thoughts at once he worried his skull would crack under pressure.

After the initial shock faded Kar’niss found his footing. His pedipalps hooked tighter around Tav’s waist to draw them in, his head craning downward to better meet them to response. At first his mouth’s reply was clumsy, timid, and his hands didn’t seem to know where to put themselves. He placed them on Tav’s shoulders to start and seemingly changed his mind mid-way through, relocating them to either side of their waist. Tav delicately encouraged Kar’niss to tilt his head for a better fit which he complied with easily enough, their hands roaming the length of his chest to feel out it’s shape and texture.

The longer the embrace continued the more Kar’niss’ confidence grew, his lips becoming more aggressive in their pursuit of savoring their taste. He could hear the frantic beat of his heart within his ears, his bulbous backside trembling with an excitement he’d not known in far too long. He was certain this was a dream or some hallucination concocted by his lingering psychosis. Yet Tav didn’t fade or disappear from sight, they remained in place. He could feel their warmth alluring and inviting like a blazing hearth in the dead of winter. He knew then and there he didn’t want to lose this exhilarating experience, he couldn’t imagine going without.

When the kiss broke both individuals had developed a hot blush that streaked across their faces, the sound of aroused panting shared between them. Tav bumped nose to nose with the dazed drider, a satisfied grin tugging at their lips.

“You are not a monster, not to me, not ever. You are Kar’niss and that is all that matters,” Tav whispered. They pressed their foreheads together mindful of his extra eyes, caressing the back of his neck.

Kar’niss had to fight the urge to object to such claims, his mind still saturated in doubt and self-hatred. But after an exchange such as that he did have to wonder...was there still hope for him? Could he have a future, a life, a chance at happiness that wasn’t afforded to him anywhere else?

He was starting to think so.

[thenightling]

Tumblr has discovered The Sandman...

Tumblr has discovered Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman.   Here are some of the examples of proof of that discovery.  The good and the not-so-good.

1.   The Corinthian (A nightmare entity) has been referred to as a “Blorbo.”  Based on my understanding of the meaning of the word I am pretty certain The Corinthian probably should not be your Blorbo.  But then again you might be into that sort of thing.  I’ve seen some strange things in the Horror movie slasher fandoms.  Just know that if he was real it would probably not be safe to think of him as your Blorbo.

2.  The Corinthian has been called Cori and Cory respectively.   And so it begins...

3.  Morpheus has been referred to as a poor little “Meow Meow” and not while in his cat form.  And yes, I know he fits the criteria for the term.  It’s just this was the first time I’ve seen him called it without it being literally related to his cat form.   You have truly made it in the world of Tumblr when they start calling your character a Blorbo or Poor LIttle Meow Meow.  Whatever happened to Woobie?   I would think Morpheus would fit under “Woobie.”   

4.   I have seen Tom Sturridge (Morpheus’s Netflix actor) referred to as a DILF.  (Dad I’d like to ...have fun with).   As the term is usually reserved for older men, and I, myself, am forty, and Tom Sturridge is a few years younger than I am, this term usage came as a surprise to me. It turns out some fans are using the term quite literally as Tom Sturridge literally is a father.  I was used to the term being used specifically in regard to age.

5. Morpheus has been compared to a Disney Princess.

6.   A scene from the source material has been taken out of context to make the character look more like an asshole than he actually is even though there are plenty of real asshole moments as the character is on a long redemption arc.

The scene in question is when Matthew the Raven says “Penny for your thoughts.” And Morpheus responds with “You have no pennies, Matthew.”  Later Morpheus offers Matthew a literal penny in exchange for him voicing his thoughts.  Morpheus being too literal is what is happening here. Context matters.

7.  There are people trying to bluff having read The Sandman without having actually read The Sandman to try to gain clout in the fandom.   It’s okay to have not read it yet, guys. It’s a great read. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.  Go have fun.  I promise it’s not as difficult as some people make it out to be.

Someone genuinely tried to argue with me that the “White haired version of Morpheus” was not created by Neil Gaiman and was created long after he was done writing The Sandman.  If you have read The Sandman you would understand how wrong this is. 

Don’t try to bluff having read The Sandman if you have not.  We can tell.  We can always tell.  

8.  There are gatekeepers trying to intimidate new readers into thinking there’s nothing whimsical in The Sandman and that it’s “So deep” and “you won’t get it the first time you read it.  You have to read it a few times to understand it.”

Yes, there is darkness in The Sandman. It’s part dark fantasy / part Gothic Horror with moments of gore but there are light things too.   Don’t discourage new readers.   I promise the story isn’t as hard to get into as some people make it out to be. I know terms like “Classic” can make some people chafe.  Just give it a try.  If you don’t like the first issue, try the second. If you don’t like the second, keep going until at least issue four.  If you still don’t like it after issue 4, it’s okay to stop.  No one will judge you.  If you don’t like comic books, try the audio drama, it’s divided into chapters like a novel.  Each issue being a chapter.   If you don’t like it after chapter four, that’s okay.  You’ll know if you like it or not by then. 

9.  There is already fan art of Tom Sturridge as Morpheus in funny / ridiculous scenarios.  No picture is given here as I did not get permission from the artists to share them yet.

10. There are already people complaining about the casting without having watched the show yet. One faction claiming the casting is “too woke” while another faction seemed concerned that it’s not inclusive enough even though Desire is nonbinary and pansexual, Death is a black woman, Rose and Unity are black women, Ruthven Sykes is a black man, Lucienne is a black woman who wears spectacles, Lucifer (who has no set gender or even sexual reproductive organs) is being played by a woman, Alexander Burgess is gay, The Corinthian is gay, Johanna Constantine is bisexual, Cain and Abel are South Asian...      

There even seem to be politically charged rants complaining because the English language show, with an English cast, written by an English writer, has a lead actor with an English accent...

So what do I have to say about Tumblr discovering The Sandman? 

Well..

 Welcome to the Sandom!  

You’re in for quite a ride.   And don’t put your fingers too close to The Corinthian’s face.  Just... Don’t.

[flanaganfilm]

Good morning/ evening! My name’s Sam and I’m currently a film student hoping to get into freelance writing. I’ve got a couple questions if you don’t mind (hoping you haven’t already answered them and I just missed them).

When you first starting making your own films, did you have already have thick skin for any critics/ bad reviews? Or is that something you grew over time?

Also, for your production company, do you hire interns and PAs or do you prefer filmmakers with more experience?

Thank you!

To your first question, I do not have a thick skin in that area AT ALL and never have. I don't know many people who do.

I'm often approached by fans who will talk about what a project of mine means to them, or I find a review or think piece online where the author really connected with my work. I want to let that feedback in, because it's validating. But letting it in means letting ALL of it in, even the negative. I don't really get to pick and choose. Once I decided to let myself react emotionally to other people's feedback, those gates are open I've got to accept whatever comes through.

I take my work very seriously, and tend to pour my heart and soul into it. We make these things because we love them. It can literally take years of daily work to do. When people love it, it feels great. When people don't, it hurts. There's really no way around that.

Film criticism has, like a lot of things, devolved over time. I was a massive fan of Robert Ebert, who was thoughtful and sophisticated in his critiques (most of the time), and tried to approach each movie he watched on the film's own terms - from the perspective of "how successful was this at achieving what it set out to do?" I see a lot of criticisms today that don't do this, and instead are lamenting what a movie is or isn't, saying things like "I wish this was more..." or "This isn't good because I wanted it to be something else."

"I wanted a ________ and what I got instead was ______ so it sucks."

The other issue is that loud, sensationalized vitriol gets more clicks. Negative reviews, especially brutal and callous ones, get more attention than positive ones. I've gotten to know and befriend some professional critics over the years, who have all told me that the positive reviews don't generate the audience reaction quite like the negative ones. People enjoy watching things get beat up. We reward the wrong kind of discourse, and that isn't unique to film criticism - it's everywhere. That's just a symptom of our culture.

One of my great frustrations is how we assert our opinion as objective truth. There's nothing more dangerous than tweeting "I liked ______ movie!" The comments flood in about how you're wrong, how it sucks, blah blah blah. People think their own taste is somehow factual. If someone says "I had a fantastic steak dinner last night and I loved it," we don't say "you're wrong, steak sucks". We understand the concept of taste when it comes to other things we consume, but when it comes to entertainment each one of us thinks we're the ultimate authority.

For myself, my producer and my wife have long discouraged me from reading reviews. I still can't help it. It's not healthy though. I can scroll past a dozen positive ones, and they evaporate in my mind, but I read one scathing thing and it sticks with me for days. There is one particular review of MIDNIGHT MASS that is one of the most baffling and frustrating things I've ever read, as the author appears to have misunderstood just about every aspect of the series, and drawn the angriest, most misguided, most erroneous conclusions. I read it with my jaw on the ground... "but they're objectively wrong. That isn't what happens, and that isn't what the show is even about." But what can I do? Who am I to say their experience of the show is invalid? They feel how they feel, and that's fine. That's okay. It has to be.

So your skin doesn't get thicker, it is a bizarre emotional experience to put something personal out there into the world and see the gamut of reactions. But at a certain point you have to remind yourself that it's impossible to please everyone, and that these projects don't belong to the filmmaker - they belong to the audience, and each and every one of those experiences is unique and valid. Perhaps there are lessons to be learned, and perhaps the critique can help you grow as a filmmaker.

I have similar feelings when I see someone trashing someone else's work I happen to love - for example, I remain baffled by people who didn't like EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALL AT ONCE, but that doesn't mean anything. It didn't work for them, that's all. Nothing works for everyone.

I have found over the years that I respect and appreciate analyses and criticisms that take this more personal point of view, and talk about their own interaction with the work as opposed to just dismissing it outright. When someone says "this movie didn't work for me," or "I didn't connect with it," or "It just wasn't my cup of tea," I have a much easier time taking it seriously. It's changed how I talk about my own reactions to movies or shows that I didn't respond to. And I found that it's made it much easier for me to enjoy things even if they aren't quite for me. Instead of being reactive and saying "it sucks" or "I hate this," I've gotten better at realizing it's not a binary experience - I can look at what DOES work for me, and I can appreciate it, even while other elements might not.

It makes for a much more nuanced discussion, and helps me grow. Sometimes, though, it's just the wrong thing to watch on the wrong day, and that's fine too. Maybe that makes it a little easier. If I step out of something and just really don't enjoy it, it helps remind me that it's not personal. Clearly, other people DO enjoy these things, sometimes I'm very much in the minority. And when that happens, I can say "oh, it's not so bad if someone hates a movie I made, or a show, or whatever. Life's too short."

But I long ago decided I'd never say anything negative about someone else's work in public. I know too much about what it takes to make a movie, and I'm not a critic. I'm a filmmaker. This town is too small, and there is zero upside in dragging another filmmaker's efforts. On the rare occasions when I do see another filmmaker indulge in that behavior, it is always a terrible look. And it can have real-world consequences - there are a few filmmakers who I've seen publicly slag off other people's work, and I quietly decided never to hire them. Like I said, it's a small town... and most of us read what people say about our work.

We should get back to that work, remember how lucky we all are to do this for a living, and leave that kind of thing to the critics.

[chloe-skywalker]

Magic Divide - Arthur Pendragon (Part 2)

Arthur x Fem!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 2,554

Summary: Now in Y/n’s kingdom Arthur has some making up to do.

Authors Note: Maybe a part3 ? I’m thinking about it. Like Arthur see her do magic and getting to understand it.

Masterlist

BBC Merlin Masterlist

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It didn’t take them more than a day and a night to reach Valmore. As soon as they reached the city Morgana quickly caught eyes on Y/n. She jumped off her horse and practically ran over to the y/h/c-ed girl, everyone else followed in Morgana’s direction.

“Y/n!” Morgana yelled out happily.

“Morgana?” Y/n questioned with a furrowed brow as she turned around to fcae where she heard her name called from. Upon seeing who she thought she heard calling her name. Y/n moved away from her knights, handing her horse's reins off to one of them, meeting Morgana halfway in a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“You said to visit anytime.” Morgana smiled at the princess.

“I know I did. I just didn’t think you would so soon. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy you're here. All of you” Y/n smirked happily to have them in her home. Her gaze went across everyone but it lingered a little longer on Arthur before she cast her eyes down.

“What happened to your arm?” Merlin asked with a worried expression after everyone had greeted eachother with smiles.

With Merlin's question, all of them turned their eyes to Y/n’s arm. Noticed the not so pretty gash on her bicep. It was obviously healing and had been stitched up nicely.

“Oh, this?” Y/n pointed to her upper right arm. She shrugged, compared to other injuries she’s had this was a cakewalk. “Happened when I was training. Hadn’t done it in so long I botched a move and well this happened.”

Everyone felt shocked at how she addressed her wound as nothing. But then Arthur spoke up. “Are you ok?”

Y/n looked up at the blonde prince again and nodded before answering. “Yeah, I’ve had worse. Especially when it comes to training.”

Arthur nodded in understanding but it didn’t stop his concern.

“Was it a sword? Or-” Leon asked wondering what made the slightly jagged cut.

“No, no. Swordfighting I wasn’t rusty at.” Y/n shook her head at the young knight. “This came from hand to hand combat. Kind of- a few moves I was rusty at which made me mess up and fall. This cut I got from a very sharp nasty rock.”

Leon nodded in understanding. Gwen stepped forward with a worried look before she asked. “You’ve had worse? That bruise on your upper back looks horrid.”

The others had to agree the bruise looked worse than the healing cut.

“Oh, if only you’ve seen how into it we can all get when it comes to hand to hand.” Y/n smiled letting out an amused laugh. Things were different here than in Camelot. “We go full out. No holding back. Lots of dislocations, torn muscles, cuts, all of it.”

“Women fight?” Gwaine raised his brow in shock and it showed on his face.

Y/n smirked at their shocked faces, so she continued to explain. “In my kingdom, women are warriors, Knights, fighters. We don’t discourage women from wanting to join in on those kinds of things. We encourage them.”

“But the princess?” Lancelot raised one brow in a teasing manner, having seen her fight before unlike most of the others.

“Haha, Lancelot.” Y/n playfully glared at him. “Yes, even the princess. I should know how to defend myself and my kingdom, and my people.”

Y/n spared a glance to Arthur, trying to read his feelings on the words she had said.

“Well, we should probably go up to the Castle.” Morgana suggested with a proud smile on her face. She truly wished she could spend some time in Valmore, enough to learn skills in combat. Maybe even something more magical.

“Yes. I bet you're all tired from the journey. Follow me and my knights. We’ll escort you.” Y/n nodded in agreement to Morgana’s words.

Y/n headed over to her horse, as she went to get up Arthur noticed a slight grimace came across her face as she mounted her horse.

“Do you need some help?” Arthur asked stepping closer to just in case her arm gave out as she pulled herself up onto the saddle.

“No, I uh. I get it.” She answered flustered to having him so close after so long of being apart. Once she was up on the horse she looked down at Arthur with a small smile on her lip. “As I said, I’ve had worse injuries than this. They’ve never stopped me before.”

With that said Y/n escorted her friends from Camelot up to the castle. Once they got their Y/n and her knights took them into the throne room where her parents were currently. After getting them arrangements to stay for as long as they want. With that everyone was shown to their rooms.

It was the next day when everyone decided to do some training in the morning. Some from Camelot had come down to watch Y/n train.

And she wasn’t kidding when she said they trained hardcore.

“Should she be fighting with her arm?” Merlin asked out to anyone that would give him an answer. He winced as he watched his friend fight.

“No.” Arthur answered leaning against the waist high wall. He to was concerned about her but she could hold her own, he knew that. Arthur was more concerned about her fighting and breaking open the freshly healed wound. “No, she shouldn't be, Merlin.”

“Well, are you just going to stare and watch her or go over and talk to her?” Morgana spoke giving Arthur a knowing look.

Arthur glanced Morgana's way before turning his attention back to Y/n. “She’s in the middle of a fight. She needs to concentrate on that.”

“Y/n wasn’t kidding when she said they don’t hold back.” Leon commented as he to watched the training.

Gwen agreed. “Yeah. They really go hard at one another.”

“She’s fighting with men.” Lancelot stated impressed.

“And winning.” Morgana stated proudly.

“She can hold her own.” Merlin nodded in agreement before asking Arthur another question. “When are you going to talk and make up.”

“When I can get her alone.” Arthur told him refraining from rolling his eyes.

“Good luck with that. She’s always surrounded by her knights.” Merlin countered with a tilt of his head.

“They're her friends.” Gwen tried to defend but Morgana cut in wanting to join in on Merlin’s pestering of Arthur.

“Their also men.” Morgana smirked. There were a few girls as well but if she wanted to get at Arthur. Mention all the other men around the girl he loves.

Merlin sucked in a breath in a teasing manner. “She seems very close to knight Jon and Knight Wardlow.”

“I get it okay?” Arthur snapped at them. He didn’t need to be told what he was seeing with his own eyes. Not that he’d admit it but he did feel jealous.

^     ^     ^

It was the next day that Arthur found a moment to get Y/n alone to talk.

“Y/n!” Arthur yelled after her down the hallway.

“Arthur.” Y/n said as she turned around to look at the prince as he came to a stop in front of her.

“Can we talk?” Arthur asked and he glanced nervously to the knights that were beside her.

Y/n stood still just watching him for a moment before giving him a ‘yes’ nod.

“You gonna be okay?” Knight Darby asked the princess with a look Arthur couldn’t decipher.

“Yeah. I’ll be fine.” Y/n nodded sending Darby a grateful nod for checking first. She was indeed close with her knights and when she came back she had told them what had happened. So they were on edge about leaving her alone with the prince of Camelot.

“If not just yell out. I won’t be far.” Knight Jon stated with narrowed eyes pinned on the young prince. Which was very intimidating to Arthur. He’d seen the man fight, he was pure violence.

“Hmmm” Wardlow hummed and nodded in agreement with his fellow knight and friend. Y/n nodded as the 3 men walked to the end of the hallway not so subtly watching.

“What is on your mind Prince Arthur?” Y/n asked shifting on her feet.

“Can we talk in private?” he sighed not feeling comfortable being watched with what he wanted to talk about.

“Of course.” Y/n gulped nodding before turning and giving her knights a wave. Told them it was okay and to stay. So her and Arthur headed into the nearest room. “What is it you would like to talk about prince Arthur?”

He sighed leaning his head to the side. “Are we really going back to using ‘Prince before my name?”

“How else should I address you?” Y/n said looking down at her hands. She didn’t know how to act around him anymore. Not really.

“As just Arthur.” Arthur said loudly before taking a breath. He wasn’t mad at her he was pissed at himself. For putting them here. “Like before.”

It saddened him to realize he made her feel like they had to go back to the beginning. He hated himself for it.

“But things aren’t like before.” she told him with a sigh. God did she wish they were like before. She really missed him but how could they be together now?” We were together before. Now we’re not so I should address you with your title.”

“Are we really that far gone? Our relationship?” Arthur asked with slightly worried eyes. He couldn’t lose her.

“You tell me.” Y/n lifted her shoulders and then her eyes to look at him. The decision was in his court, he’s the one that ruined things, to begin with.

“y/n-” Arthur went to start but Y/n knew his tone of voice so she cut him off.

“No, Arthur. I can’t go through all that heartache again. I-I just can’t.” Y/n’s voice broke as she spoke and that made Arthur's chest ache.

“I’m sorry.” he didn’t know how else to start.

Y/n shook her head. “Don’t apologize when you don’t mean it.”

Arthur squinted in confusion. “What makes you think I don’t mean it?”

“Because you despise magic! An I have magic so therefore you despise me!” Y/n yelled out before taking a deep breath looking at Arthur with unshed tears in her eyes. The love of her life hated her because of something she frankly enjoyed about herself. “You hate me because of something that is a part of me.”

Arthur stepped forward shaking his head quickly at her words. “I don’t hate you.”

“If you hate a part of me then you hate me.” He couldn’t hate her magic and not hate her. And she couldn’t be with someone who hated her. “That’s how that works Arthur.”

Arthur raised his hands to cup her cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe away tears she didn’t notice were falling down her cheeks. “I could never hate or despise you Y/n.”

“The things you said to me when you found out and the way you looked at me and acted towards me all say otherwise, Arthur.” Y/n looked into his eyes, she could see the regret in his eyes.

“I felt betrayed and I was angry.I said things that weren’t true and that I didn’t mean.” Arthur explained but it didn’t make him feel any better and he didn’t expect to fix things. But she deserved to know. “It's no excuse for what I did. There’s nothing that could excuse my behavior from before. But I want to repair what we had. I want to make it up to you. If that's even a possibility.”

Y/n shook her head, it was a hard decision to make. And she didn’t know if she could, no matter how bad she wanted Arthur back. “I don’t know Arthur.”

Arthur sighed dreading asking this next question. “Are you afraid of me?”

“What?” Y/n looked at him in shock.

“Are you afraid of me? Were you afraid to tell me because you thought I would have had you killed?” He asked with a gulp afraid himself of the answer she’d give. He wouldn’t blame her though. With how Uther felt about magic and him raising Arthur to be the same. . .

“As much as I wish I could say I wasn’t. . . Besides hiding my magic I have never lied to you. I don’t plan on doing it now.” She told him before letting out a deep breath. “Yes, I was afraid that you might tell your father and we both know how I would have been ‘taken care of’.”

“y/n” Arthur's gaze dropped feeling even more disappointed in himself.

“It's not that I didn’t want to tell you, Arthur. It’s just-” Y/n hated that she felt this was but it was true. “I saw how your father flt about sorcery, and then how you felt about it. . . I was scared.”

Arthur nodded solemnly. “You had every right to be.”

“I’m sorry.” she said looking away from him. She felt guilty, even though she had no reason to be.

“Don’t be. You have nothing to be sorry for.” He shook his head, dismissing her apology she had nothing to apologize for it was all him. “I’m sorry. For how I reacted and treated you. It was wrong of me.” 

“Its ok-”

Arthur immediately stopped her. He didn’t want her to forgive him that easily or pretend it was nothing. He treated her horribly, that wasn’t okay.  “No, its not. An I know I hurt you.”

Y/n but her lip as they starred at eachother for a moment. “You could’ve just given me a chance. Magic a chance.”

“I hate myself for hurting you. I’ll never forgive myself for all that I put you through.” Arthur agreed with her, he could’ve given her a chance. Prove and show him she didn’t use magic for evil. “But I do want to make it up to you.”

“How?” She asked with a tilted head. If his views didn’t change how could he make it up to her?

“Well, against my views I was taught growing up. I want you to show me your magic.” Arthur gave her a small smile. It didn’t excuse what he did and said but maybe if he could understand her magic and that part of her then they could get back together.

“Are you sure?” Y/n asked, she knew how he felt if this was uncomfortable for him then maybe things should just be done. She didn’t want to force him to like all of her. If they didn’t work then they would have to accept it.

“More sure than I am about a lot of things.” Arthur said shifting closer to his princess. “But I’m even more sure that I want us to get back together.”

Y/n took a deep breath. “Arthur- we can’t just go back to what and how we were.”

“I know that. It’s going to take time for me to gain your trust back. I’m determined to do so.” Arthur looked into her eyes with determination and passion. He was going to gain his princess's trust back. No matter what.

~

Tag list:

@gruffle1 @mininjageek @padawancat97 @evvy96

[meepmeep19]

Out of all the Hunting Dogs members, Tachihara rly seems to be the closest to Jouno (after Teruko ofc) But why is that the case?

I mean just LOOK at how proud Tachihara looks in this panel after receiving that praise from Jouno! It’s sooo cute I-😭 But why is Tachihara so close to Jouno of all people?

Well I HC that when Tachihara first joins the HD, his criminal background makes him understandably very distrustful/fearful of everyone else. It feels less like the HD are his coworkers and more like they’re just cops keeping an eye on him, just waiting for when he’ll inevitably slip up so they can finally lock his ass away. He just can’t get that criminal-cop mindset out of his head yet.

Jouno was the only person that could understand and relate to Tachihara considering he was also a formal criminal (tho I don’t think he was ever scared of the HD, he still felt that same distrust in his first couple years as well)

And so to make Tachihara feel more comfortable/calm (cuz he’s actually starting to care for the boy getting sick of constantly hearing Tachihara’s too fast heart beat) Jouno decides to casually bring up all the stupidly profitable crimes Tachihara could’ve committed with his ability, going into suspiciously criminal amounts of detail. Most of the heists that he brings up r stuff that he himself was planning to do in the mafia before he got arrested. Jouno talks about this to help remove the whole ‘HD-dangerous-cop’ association that Tachihara has made.

At first Tachihara is very suspicious and hesitant to answer, assuming this must be some sort twisted way to set him up. But then he realizes Jouno just genuinely enjoys talking about crimes as if they aren’t surrounded by Japan’s elite police force. And yet no one ever actually does anything to Jouno, even tho everything he says is so illegal, that he should’ve already gone to prison 20 times over just for even uttering half that stuff lol.

These conversations rly help Tachihara to stop seeing the HD as just ‘cops’ and he immediately begins to open up. Soon he and Jouno r having like hour long conversations, literally just discussing various heists in great detail.

They make Tetchou slightly uncomfortable with their blase view of big time crime so every time they start talking about this stuff, Tetchou just silently walks out of the room lol (Jouno 100% teases him for that, constantly inviting him to join their conversations, to which Tetchou always politely declines lol)

Ofc, to remind Tachihara that at the end of the day, they ARE still just only coworkers (not friends), Jouno likes to end their conversations laughing, saying ‘Of course, if you were to actually try any of this, I would not hesitate to gouge your eyes out and feed them to the dogs’ which always keeps Tachihara from being too casual.

Despite that tho, Tachihara can’t help but still see Jouno as older brother figure. A terrifying brother figure, but a brother figure nonetheless. In some ways, he actually somewhat prefers his relationship with Jouno than that with his actual brother. Don’t get me wrong: he still loves his brother but… unlike with his brother, no one pressures him to be like Jouno; if anything, they actually discourage Tachihara from becoming too much like him lol.

The HD never make him feel like he HAS to live up to anyone. Instead they actually want him to become his own person so he can add something unique to the team. They never make him feel like he’s not enough. And that just means so much to someone like Tachihara, who spent his whole life feeling so inadequate compared to perfection of the dead.

So yeah, that’s how Jouno and the Hunting Dogs became Tachihara’s found family

[innominaterifter]

The comments one person pointed out one interesting thing - a blind spot in my perception of people's reactions. This is really interesting, because this is not a constant blind spot: in some situations it is not there and I clearly predict human reactions to certain things; and in some situations it appears and distorts my forecasting.

And this is not an isolated case; such blind spots arise periodically in different situations.

I thought about why this happens and I have one hypothesis. As a neurodivergent person, I have no intuitive understanding of the possible reactions of average people to certain things.

Instead, I essentially had to memorize how people were likely to behave in a given situation. This was all unconscious, of course.

I remember now how I read books as a child and perceived the actions of the characters almost always with a certain surprise mixed with “Yeah, so this is how people react to such things... okay.”

(This is why I still get excited about books where I don't have to tell myself, "Don't freak out. Yes, these are illogical actions or strange actions for you, but that's what people do.")

Thus, I have developed the ability to predict the behavior of others and, accordingly, I can plan my actions in such a way that they will most likely lead to the reaction I need.

Practice shows that I can do this quite well.

At the same time, those situations where I do not engage in such planning often develop in a very surprising way for me.

Example: I absolutely accurately predicted the security guards' negative reaction to my roaches, but at the same time I expected that the convention participants would like them and was discouraged when this did not happen.

The planning approach requires a certain attitude towards the situation. Specifically, the use of masking, even if we are talking about thinking, some speculative situations.

As a result, I am always a little “outside” of the situation, there is always a feeling of an observer, and not a full-fledged participant.

In those cases when I don’t do this, but simply feel like myself and don’t try to disguise myself (or I do it much less, since many manifestations of masking are already so automatic that they are difficult to track), the accuracy of forecasts of the reactions of others drops significantly.

Another important thing is that I can afford not to use masking only in situations that I feel safe. A safe situation is largely about the expectation that I will be accepted by other people, the feeling that I am among my own people.

Often this feeling is deceiving. Just because two people have a commonality in a particular intersection does not mean that they have that commonality in others.

And as a result, when you stop or greatly reduce the level of disguise, it often turns out that you don't fit in enough. You too weird. Too unclear. Too different.

I fell into this trap in the sports section, in the tourist section, in the swimming section,

in the LGBT+ community, and now at dances, apparently the same thing is happening.

I think the same thing happened at the cosplay event. I planned my passage through security from the point of view of masking and the predictions turned out to be correct. I think the same thing happened at the cosplay event. I planned my passage through security from the point of view of masking and the predictions turned out to be correct.

But I automatically considered my participation in the convention as a get-together with “my people.”

And imagining how people would like insects, how interested they would be, I was as much myself as possible.

That's why I was wrong and why I was so surprised.

You know, it's similar to how superpowers work in the Worm. Power gives you an advantage, but at the same time, it takes something away from you. Also, the powers take shape based on some of the person’s vulnerabilities. Or they exploit these vulnerabilities, but in an unusual way.

I see a sad ironic parallel in the fact that my neurodiversity gives me the opportunity to more accurately predict the reactions of other people, but at the same time, the use of this “superpower” alienates me from people, does not allow me to feel the fullness of the moment, to feel myself in the flow of reality, and not watch him from the side.

And the more often I use this, the more difficult it is not to do this, since the result differs very much. If we continue the comparison with the flow, then in the second case you fully feel it, but you lose the opportunity to direct it or your movement in it in the right direction. Also, the more often you are in the role of an observer, the more difficult it is for you to refuse it.

(I took these photos this summer when I was visiting relatives)

[piggyjeans]

Can you do a Ryan Reynolds x teen reader? Maybe Ryan is in an interview and talks about how cool it is to work with the reader in a movie they are filming together and how he thinks of them as a daughter/son and is kind of like their mentor? And tag me in it please

Ryan reynolds x teen!reader, ryan reynolds x coworker reader, platonic ryan reynolds :P

(A/n) Hey! Ya ofc :) sorry it took a while to respond, and sorry this is kinda short I’m just trying to push through a bunch of requests as quickly as I can. I also didn’t proof read this so if there’s any problems lmk and yeah!!!! Also this isn’t my fav or anything. I wrote it super quick and I feel like it sucks ass so yeah let me know what u think please. Comments or likes or reblogs encourage me sm. Also lmk if u wanna be added to my tag list x <3 enjoy!

Requested by: @shycollectionwolfstuff

Warnings: maybe like mentions neglect or loneliness during childhood bc of acting but it’s not really that sad or graphically explained or anything. Aside from that I don’t think anything but correct me if I’m wrong <3

Readers pronouns: they/them

You thoroughly enjoyed working with ryan. You had similar senses of humor and it was rare to find an adult who treated you like an equal human even though you were a lot younger than him.

During filming, you created a special bond. And on the press tour, you spent most of your days together and the bond only became stronger. Having done two interviews earlier in the day, you were now onto your third. And sometimes it can get really repetitive and difficult. Ryan knows that’s discouraging for you, so he always tries to make it more interesting for you if he can. That includes spicing the conversation up with humor, or telling jokes, or making sure he has a different answer every time even if the same questions are being asked.

The interviewer walks into the room you and Ryan are sitting in for the third time. You sulk into your seat slightly, not particularly looking forward to this boring aspect of the press tour. You give him a big smile to try to hide the fakeness you feel.

“Hello, how are you?” The interviewer asks, shaking Ryan's hand, then yours.

“Never better,” You say happily. The interviewer smiles back at you genuinely. Guess it’s understandable why you became such a big actor who got to work with Ryan reynolds.

“Really? I’m tired as hell,” Ryan exasperates looking over at you, before mimicking your sulk in your chair. You sit up straight and raise your eyebrows, giving the interviewer an unbelievable smile. You were always taught to be professional in interviews and workplaces. It’s difficult to be when you’re around ryan.

“Long day?” The interviewer asks jokingly, looking between you and ryan. You giggle and nod. Ryan closes his eyes sleepily.

“Alright, then. Let’s get this show on the road so y’all can get out of here,” The interviewer says. It’s always good when you have an interviewer who can play along with a joke. Ryan sits up, content with the predicament.

“So, how long did it take to film this movie? I heard there was a lot of trouble with production time, did that affect your work schedules?” The interviewer asks, suddenly dropping his joking attitude.

You start to answer the question without a glance at Ryan, since you both would rather get the interview over with. “It took about four straight months of work to wrap. Production took a halt because of covid, but not even the directors were really working at that time. So from start to finish it probably took four months,” You say professionally. Ryan glances at you, then at the interviewer, “what they said,” he added.

“Right so, you two only worked with each other for about four months, or?” The interviewer says lightheartedly. Again, you take the question right away, “Well, no. Filming started before the pandemic hit the United States. So we actually quarantined together for a little while before we had to abandon ship and go back to our respective families, you know? But after restrictions were let up, we got back together to film, and then we both caught covid at one point, so we actually had to quarantine together for a second time,” you say, laughing, looking over at ryan who sat with his hands in his lap, looking at you with a proud and genuine small smile on his face.

Whenever you watched interviews or anything of the two of you, you noticed that he usually just sits and listens to you contently whenever you speak. He enjoys listening to you and being around you, and it makes you feel really good

“Wow. So, how was it working and spending that much time together? You two have a huge age difference and I imagine it could have been like a culture shock, because of how different the two of you seem,” The interviewer asks, mostly to you, occasionally glancing at ryan.

“Well actually,” you start to take the question but Ryan cuts you off this time. “No no, you got the last two questions. This one’s mine,” He spoke. You look at the interviewer and smile, sitting back in your seat almost humiliated. You didn’t want to ramble on or take the thunder away from Ryan, and now you’re worried he’s upset with you or something you said.

“A lot of people said it might be difficult to work with y/n because of how young they are, but I think that makes it even better. I get to learn about them and their whole generation every time I speak to them. They teach me things that I never could have understood if I never met them, and I’m lucky to have worked with them. If you keep working with the same people… like Hugh Jackman for example… ugh, hate that guy. Anyways, it’ll get boring. But with y/n, they’re so cool that you never really get tired of working with them. And I would work with them again if given the opportunity. They’re one of the coolest actors ever. Cooler than Hugh Jackman, for sure.”

Ryan rambles quickly. You stay sitting back in your seat, trying really hard to not let tears cloud your vision. You’re 15, don’t cry over this, be mature, you think to yourself, fighting the cloudy eyes.

It’s just difficult for you because you started acting at a young age and a lot of people don’t ever encourage you or tell you what you’re doing right. People are so uncomfortable with being honest and usually actors are only in it to do their job and not create relationships or bond at all, and as a kid, or a teenager it’s hard because you’re already giving up a lot of your life and a lot of socializing for this. It’s necessary to have someone like Ryan in your life who isn’t afraid of encouraging you or lifting you up. Especially when nobody else does.

“Thanks.” You mutter, looking down at your hands in your lap. Feeling like you experienced severe emotional whiplash. You want to give Ryan a big hug and spend time with him, something that’s not professional at all. You can’t wait for these interviews to be over, but you remember you have to finish said interviews before you can be so honest with ryan. Unless you answer the same way he did, now.

“Well, I’ve never worked with someone as special as Ryan. It sucks I worked with him so early in my career because now No one will ever live up to the expectations I’ve formed because of him. He’s taught me half of the things I know and it’s been an honor to have him as not only a co worker, but a mentor. And even after the press tour and everything is over, I know the relationship we have will never be over. Because he cared enough to put work into me and I know he can’t just give all that up. He’s a narcissist so he probably wants to see how I turn out so he can like, brag about me or something. Always caught up in his own head,” you finish comedically to try to give your speech a similar feel to his.

You look at Ryan and he has tears in his eyes. “My heart.” He dramatically and jokingly says, fanning his eyes, then leaning over to hug you. You close your eyes and smile into his shoulder as the interviewer sits there motionlessly, smiling at the picture in front of him.

Two interviews to go, then the day is over.

-

..

-

Taglist: @ohworm-writes @spidyyparker @littlemortals @americaarse LMK IF U WANNA BE ADDEDDD :) <333333 have a great day x

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 3/19

What am I feeling today?

Tired but excited and grateful! Today is my last clinical rotation on the stroke unit and as much as I enjoyed it, I’m really looking forward to being able to rest and have my Tuesdays open!

Bible Plan: Spiritual Wilderness

In my younger years, it was hard for me to continue my devotions when I didn’t feel His presence for a while. It was discouraging, but I have learned a few things that have changed my perspective.

One thing I learned is that God promises to reward those who fervently seek Him, not who only find Him. We don’t seek God because He is lost. He is always near to us because His Spirit lives within us. We go to prayer not to find God but to be with Him. With that said, there are seasons in life where it seems and feels like His manifest presence is gone.

During these seasons you must understand that God is building up your faith since Jesus is the author and perfecter of your faith. Without faith, it is impossible to please God, and this faith gets stronger as your feelings get weaker. You are forced to rely only on God’s Word, not on your feelings or experiences. In seasons of your spiritual wilderness, only faith can help you come closer to God. If you live by your feelings, you will feel distant from God. When you go to God’s throne in spite of your negative feelings, you are building your faith.

I find it encouraging that He is not a rewarder of those who feel or experience Him but of those who do their best to seek Him.

King David was called “a man after His own heart”. God didn’t say that David had His heart; he was simply after it. David was in constant pursuit of God. In reading the Psalms that he wrote, we see his heart’s journey into the presence of God. At times he would complain that he didn’t feel God, yet he was still seeking after Him. God likes that. He wants us to pursue Him, even when we don’t feel like it.

In fact, not only does God love that we pursue Him, but He also rewards us. This truth has been the source of my encouragement. I don’t submit to my feelings, but I let my faith grow by going to God no matter what’s happening in my life.

There’s so much to get from this and I thought it was incredible! First off, seeking Him over finding Him. You can find God once because He’s not far from any one of us, but seeking Him is a daily thing. You have to consistently go after Him day after day, acknowledging Him when you feel like it is not biblically sound.

Additionally with the seeking, relying on His word instead of your feelings. The heart is deceitful and your feelings are not always accurate. We can sometimes let ourselves be controlled by our feelings and let them direct how we operate but that can lead us down the wrong path. God’s word will always be right and ready for you, so read it, use it, apply it, keep it in your heart!

1 Samuel 13:13-14 NIV

““You have done a foolish thing,” Samuel said. “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure; the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command.””

For reference, this is Samuel rebuking Saul and the one who talks about in regard to who the Lord has sought out is David. Even though David struggled a lot, He always sought after God, seeking Him daily and I really want to imitate that as best I can.

Hebrews 11:6 NIV

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

I mean this is very self explanatory and emphasizes the importance of our faith and seeking after God every single day.

Hebrews 12:1-2 NIV

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

“Let us run with perseverance” -> I want to place some emphasis on this. We can get tired and weary in our walk with God, especially when we’re in the spiritual wilderness where even our own emotions can be attacking our faith. But God wants us to persevere, we need to have our hearts set on the goal of it all, to be reunited with God after death! Also, Jesus is meant to guide us in this! He’s the perfected of our faith! Without him, we’d have no chance in having a relationship with God and it’s important to remember and be grateful for what he did for us on the cross.

[bronx-bomber87]

Saturday afternoon review. Another glorious episode. The intro of their fur child. Kojo-Chen-Bradford baha A pup we all know and love. Also that we hope to get to see in S6. This is a very solid Tim backstory ep I’m excited. I’ll delve little more into the actual ep than normal. Just because it’s so tied into everything in this ep. Especially Tim’s past. I always love delving into his past. As I always tell my friend D, When I get into Tim's past I go off a lot haha I can't help it I relate so much to him. So bear with me while I rant off about him in this one. He is a subject I am very passionate about. But let’s get this ep started.

2x14 Casualties

We start our episode with our fav canine. Destroyer of chew toys Mr. Kojo. He really is a beautiful dog. The dog lover in me adores him so much. Jackson is awoken by this sweet boy and honestly handles it better than expected haha Lucy clearly has gotten him for post DOD reasons. Smart on her end. I know my dog has helped me a ton emotionally. I totally understand why she did this.

I think Jackson is very aware of reasoning and doesn’t push it. Look how cute this dog is I can not. Also how happy Lucy is to have him. She’s literally beaming and so adorable with him. Another reason I don’t think Jackson says anything to Lucy. He isn’t happy about it but won’t fight her on it either. Such a good friend putting her ahead of his discomfort about this. He knows how much she has been through so he's not going to tell her no...Oh the power Lucy Chen holds over the men her life ha

Lucy tells Tim about Kojo and he instantly thinks it’s a mistake. Discouraging her owning him. (Of course he does). Lucy is her sassy self and tells him she didn’t remember asking him. LOL Tim tells her tough. He’s there to teach her how to succeed. That adding a dog into the mix is only going to distract her. Lucy shows him a picture of Kojo. Says what if he is cute and snuggly?

You can see Tim also thinks he’s cute and snuggly when she shows him the pic haha but says that’s not the point he’s trying to make. Can tell he loves Kojo but isn’t going to give her that satisfaction right now. Lucy is too damn happy about her new pup to let Tim ruin it. He continues his interrogation and asks who’s watching him while she’s at work? Lucy replies she paid a neighbor let him out. Then asks if Jackson is ok with it? Lucy being clueless (which is a rarity for her as we all know) replies 'Why wouldn’t he be?'

First off I always love when we get tall and smol shots. They make my soul so very happy. Their height difference always gets me in the feels in a way I can not describe. This whole scene cracks me up though. Both trying so hard to top the other with who's right. It’s what they do and they do it so damn well.

It’s so cute how Tim defends himself about dogs when Lucy says he doesn't like them. ‘Wrong. I love dogs.’ LOL He is definitely not wrong about the responsibility part. They are a lot especially for a rookie trying to survive her training. Lucy mocks him and says he’s about to go off on a ‘But you were when you were my age?’ rant. Tim then does just that haha Our marriage moment of the episode.

Telling her all he’s done at her age. How he already did 2 tours in Afghanistan and Iraq, Second in charge of his squad of ten soldiers. Lucy is not indulging him this time, scoffs loudly and calls him a show off haha You know he heard her but says ‘What was that?‘ Her face in those two last gifs. Be more married you two please.

They knock on the door of their call. Someone has reported a peeping Tom. They head back with the husband to their pool area. He says his wife likes to tan in the morning. A drone has been watching her the last few mornings. Tim says they can put out an alert but they’re tricky to track down.

The wife comes in and and is instantly checking Tim out. I can’t say I blame her. The man is sinfully delicious especially in uniform. She shamelessly flirty with him. He could not be cuter being embarrassed about it. That smile of his as his reaction. He’s always so caught off guard when women hit on him. Lucy’s face during the whole thing is hilarious. She’s so awkward and uncomfortable as this goes down. His polite ‘ma’am ‘ and shyness we rarely see in him. *fans self* Can’t blame a girl for trying LMAO

Lucy gets a call from her apt about Kojo shortly after they return to the station. Tim says they’re not going unless it’s a crime scene. It kinda is...One of her apt. Lucy opens the door and we see the destruction the poor boy has caused. Lucy clearly has no control over this sweet angel. He just jumps up on her when she arrives. Clearly so stressed being alone. He wants her attention. Kojo won’t get down until Tim shouts a firm command at him to sit and he does…Oh my...

Tim barking out orders like that shouldn’t be so hot and yet here we are. I am a puddle. This man does things to me I can't properly put into words haha Also his sexy and confident ‘Come on.’ afterwards. Lucy girl, it’s a miracle you get any work done around this man LOL Kojo you just met your dad and you have no idea. They go through the destruction that is her apt. Tim basically beaming with an ‘I told you so.’ energy as they explore the wreckage.

He is so pleased with himself. They enter Jackson's room and it is trashed. He is at the height of his smugness at this point. He starts taking pics of her and the damage to Jackson's room. These two and their pics of one another I love it so much. Tim says ‘I don’t have to say anything do I?’ Poor Lucy.. ‘I rather you didn’t…’ Already feeling the massive guilt for Kojo destroying Jackson's room the most.

After they leave their fur baby, Lucy and Tim join in on a suspect Nolan is chasing. He was sharing a shady SRO with the man who was found killed earlier. He took off and they end up catching him in an ally. It’s here we find out he and Tim have a history. The shock on Tim’s face gets me. There’s so much going on in that look that we don’t understand right now. Eric is conveying so much in just this small window.

We rejoin them at the station booking him. Tim looks like he's in a state of shock. Thought Mitch's life was going well post-service. Definitely wasn't expecting him to be living on the streets. Knowing he's not in a good place is bringing back all his guilt in waves. There is so much Tim is carrying in these interactions with Mitch. He asks what he's even being charged with? Lucy tells him resisting arrest to begin with. The DA will sort out the rest.

Mitch is all over Tim about what’s going on. He tells him he can’t violate the victims privacy. Mitch then pieces together his friend Joe is dead. Tim refuses to give him anymore info. Says detectives will be by shortly to talk to him. He looks so damn distraught walking away from the holding cell. Lucy points out the obvious tension between them. Tim lets her know exactly what their history is. I’m so proud of him for not brushing her off or being angry with her for asking. He’s just defeated and tells her why.

Like he wants to share this emotional burden with her instead of holding onto it solo. How far we've come. Truly. When just Isabel's name would set him off for most of their shift. Now he just tells her when she asks him. Telling Lucy things is a safe place for him at this point in their relationship. It’s a beautiful thing to watch him not even fight that. To let her know with no pretense. Allowing her to know something from his military past is huge. Something he keeps quite guarded. Watching him feeling comfortable enough to share with her. My heart. I'm not crying. You are.

Tim watches Armstrong and Nolan interrogate Mitch. The emotions in his eyes as he does is killing me. You can feel his guilt through the screen. There seems to be more than just Mitch's guilt there to me. But we will touch on that later....Nolan lets him know Joe had his neck snapped. It seemed like a professional. Mitch tells them he didn’t kill him. That Joe came to him about finding a lot of money. Pallets of cash in the millions. Found it in a building with a bunch of weaponry. Being guarded by heavy duty guys. Lots of machinery too.

Mitch says he and Joe were tight cause they were both vets. That’s why he shared the cash. But he begged him not to go back there for any more. Mitch says he feel guilty. Wishing he would’ve gone with him, because Joe would’ve gone with him. We go back to Tim and see more guilt flitting across his handsome face. The weight of what he is carrying is so evident. Kills me to watch it him bearing it alone. Harper comes in and tells them all that money is counterfeit. Really good but fake none the less. They figure out the machinery could’ve been printers from Mitch. Armstrong decides to get a search warrant and go to the building Joe found.

Naturally when they make it to the warehouse it’s empty. They ask Tim if he still believes his army buddies story? He says yes. That they must’ve cleared out of here after they killed Joe. Nolan finds some evidence. It’s linking them back to a security guy who was “fixing” a camera at their crime scene. They were about to run his face off his body cam when Grey calls them back to the station. Says they are to leave that area immediately.

Once they’re back Grey says their search warrant sent an alarm all the way up the food chain. Telling them to stop. That the path they’re on isn’t allowed for their investigation any longer. Tim asks what if it’s the path that leads them to his killer? Grey looks conflicted. Harper asks what they’re really into? He says he doesn’t know and tried to push to find out. All he knows is it’s non-negotiable. They all look very frustrated especially Tim. Grey tells them to take the night to reset. Tim goes off saying this isn't right. Armstrong says no it's not but it's a direct order.

Harper looks at Tim and he knows what he needs to do. Earlier in the episode we learned about LA Clear. Used to prevent blue on blue situations. It’s the best way for them to find out who is behind all this. What higher up agency is preventing them from investigating further. Only higher up officers can use it. i.e. Tim. They were told at the beginning of the ep the feds were in town for something. Sounds like this could be it. Harper asks what Tim thinks. He says this is clearly a federal operation and they don’t have enough information to proceed.

Tim asks Lucy how they get more clarity on a federal operation? She proudly produces the right answer and says LA Clear. He tries to get them all to step outside while he calls. Lucy being her sassy self says not a chance. Her wifey look is so cute I can not. You know he loves it when she’s fresh with him. Tim having to answer his personal security questions is too damn funny. Lucy is enjoying the hell out of this. His answers are so sporadic and funny. 'Lady Marmalade' and 'Xanadu' LOL He gets off the phone says they’ll get back to them within an hour.

Tim goes to see Mitch. Tells him he’s free to go. Naturally he wants more info on the case. Tim tells him they haven’t found anything yet. The money is gone. They’re working late on it though. Lets him know he just needs to go home. Then realizes how insensitive that is. Mitch tells him just to find his killer. That he served his country with honor. He deserves as much. You know that's hitting Tim right in the gut.

The ever present guilt on his face with Mitch hurts to watch. There’s an undercurrent of something else going on with this whole thing for Tim. More than just what happened with Mitch coming to the surface. It’s coloring everything he’s doing and saying in this episode since Mitch showed up. He gets the call from LA Clear and tells Mitch to take care of himself.

They find out it’s a defense intelligence agency OP. Harper says that’s national security. Nolan asks if they told him anything else? Tim says just a contact name. Colonel Norman Jangus. Nolan asks what a National security agency is doing printing counterfeit money for? Harper chimes in and says this is bigger than they thought. That they should take the night like Grey said. Tim says an off the books op isn’t great on a good day and today definitely isn't that.

Nolan gets a visitor. It’s Colonel Jangus. Tells him he is DIA, but his team works in the shadows. Does things people don’t want to admit to. John asks why he came to him? This is a great part and accurate. Says he’s the weak link. Lists why above. He’s not wrong those three are certified bad asses and John is well John LOL sorry dude. I'm so mean to Nolan I know ha I do like him but he is the weak link out of the four of them.

Tells him you always push on the weak link. Wants him to relay something to the other three. That it was a mistake to call LA Clear, to leave it alone. Nolan tells him they just want Joe’s murderer that’s it. He leaves with telling him every war has its casualties. That if they don’t stop he’ll end up being their next one.

Harper, Tim and Lucy show up lurking in the shadows. They were expecting him to show at Nolan’s. Do love them all in black street clothes. Looking ever bit the bad asses they were just explained as earlier. Tim was able to get a tracker on his car while Jangus rambled on. Tim says now they can follow him wherever he goes. Lucy is ready to go when Tim tries to stop her. (Why he think's he'll win this fight I do not know) No way in hell she was going to let him do this alone. She’s his partner through and through.

Harper telling them they’re more likely to survive the storm if this goes wrong than her and Nolan. She has a golden ticket and Tim has unblemished record. Says they don’t even need a reason to fire them as rookies. Lucy replies like the BAMF she is ‘ I’ve been buried alive by a serial killer. This rabbit hole doesn’t scare me.’ God I love her. Her resolve is rock solid. Nolan’s reply pales in comparison tbh LOL That unshakeable drive is one of the reasons why Tim falls for her. He doesn’t fight her any further. He's just hopes Jangus leads them to the money.

Now comes one of my favorite parts of the entire episode. Also another iconic OTP line stemming from it. They pull up together in Tim’s truck (LOVE them riding together) Lucy wastes zero time asking about Mitch’s leg. Just like earlier he doesn’t fight her on it. Doesn’t shut her out like he used to. Not even a little. I can not emphasize enough how huge this is for him. The beautiful place he has gotten to with her. This is confession time right now for him. He'd been letting it build up all day. Now he was letting the damn loose with her. Makes me so happy to watch his growth. I never tire of watching her chip at his wall one section at a time. It’s about to have another piece break off and shatter to the ground.

There is so much to love about this scene. I love her challenging him to open about this. It’s been so obviously eating at him all day. I'm just like him where I need my anxiety off loaded by someone I trust or I'll self destruct. It's clear he needs it off his chest. Lucy knows this. Knows him and it's why it's the first thing she asks when they're parked. They have a moment alone. She is going to take advantage of that. Lucy reads Tim like a book and knows he needs to talk about it. I've said this a lot but I am a lot like Tim. The more I analyze him the more that fact becomes true. I get his mentality towards things.

Where you think everything is your responsibility or your fault when things go wrong. Because when you grow up in a volatile household like he did (As did I) it was. A mistake was the worst thing you could do. So it's beaten into you that its your fault and you're given no grace by those around you. It's almost like a reflexive shame you feel when you make a mistake. It's how it is for me. I know it is for him too. So why would you give yourself any grace even when its warranted? When you are like this you need that 'Lucy' to unburden you. To have that safe space to off load that burden. To let you know not everything is your fault.

Lucy is that person for Tim and has been for quite some time. He confesses his sin to her. Like it’s a dark part of his soul he’s expecting to repel her. News flash it does not. She loves every part of this man especially the damaged parts. What he finds as absolutely shameful Lucy sees as something redeeming and wonderful. You can see above how much he is beating himself up over it. Even as he speaks the words he's chiding himself. The way his eyes dart around and how can't face her. He'a so ashamed of himself for not being by the book. To him he slipped up and it cost Mitch his leg. That's unforgivable in his book. He's so hard on himself. I relate so much it makes me wanna cry for him. Because I know that moral pressure.

I love her little smile before she tells him 'It's the most Tim Bradford thing she’s ever heard.' Because it really is. She just knows him so well. Lucy wants desperately for him to cut himself a break. To lower his high standards of himself just a bit. He won't but damn if she won't try to to change his POV on this. The reason she says that line is she KNOWS the depth of which he beats himself up for things. This is the type of situation where he is going to fault himself and flog himself mentally over it until someone stops him. i.e. Lucy.

I empathize with this on a deep level. I know that guilt driven anxiety you get when you feel you’ve wronged someone. It consumes you and feels like that feeling is bottomless. Lucy is very aware he will destroy himself over this. The reaction on his face below when she tells him it wasn't his fault. That he showed humility. Gets me right in the gut. Telling him that it’s nothing to feel guilty about is everything to him. Tim can't believe she's absolving him for this. Not only doing that but commending him for what he did. By praising him for that humility he showed Mitch.

I want to delve into his reaction above a little more for a couple reasons. One. Once again what Tim sees as weakness Lucy views as a strength. Knowing he is wracked with guilt over this. Trying to give him absolution for it. His sunshine human is striving to let him know not EVERYTHING is his fault. As much as he would like to think so. Beautiful thing is Lucy being in his life has lightened that emotional load he carries. Whether he realizes it or not she's shouldering part of it now.

Two. I said earlier there was an undercurrent of something else coloring Tim’s guilt in this episode. Something unspoken in the way he was carrying that guilt. Like it was more than just Mitch's guilt he was lugging around. I know he’s comparing what happened to Mitch to what happened with Lucy. By not being by the book he put Lucy in danger. The guilt about Mitch has also brought up the burden he still inflicts upon himself. Which is what happened to her in 2x11. There is some deep subtext in this scene. The way he looks at her when she says he doesn’t need to feel guilty. It's very telling to me.

In a way she is absolving him of what happened with Caleb. Because the situations are similar, in the fact that Tim wasn't by the book and something bad came of it. Lucy does this without even knowing she is doing so. Because in her mind she never blamed him. Doesn't even know he's added that to his emotional load. For Tim her acceptance of what happened with Mitch is hitting close to home with him. It feels like she is also absolving him of his immense amount of guilt he still feels about Caleb. It’s not something they’ve talked about yet. It’s coming but I felt this scene was a good precursor to that. Lucy reminding him not everything is on him like he thinks it is.

Even though it seems to him he's been absolved of both things he still defaults to being a stickler. That is his default mode. He just can't help himself. Letting her know ‘Rules matter boot. ‘ You can see the glimmer of tears in his eyes when he says this. Still feeling unworthy of her kindness and understanding of what he thinks he’s done not only to Mitch but to her. Lucy once again having that sassy smile asking him ‘Then what the hell are you doing out here? Sweetly calling him out for being a living and breathing contradiction.

The way he looks at her and says ‘Some things matter more.’ *heart clutch* Eric and his wonderfully expressive face. We are lucky to have him everyone. He is a blessing to have as our Tim Bradford. By saying this he is saying she matters more. That what they're currently doing matters more. Tim showing Lucy his moral compass for Mitch and Joe means more. I’ve said this before but I feel Lucy is never more attracted to Tim than when his moral compass is on fire.

It’s a raging inferno in this episode to find Joe’s killer. That bending the rules a bit to do the right thing means more. to him. That doing the right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same. Her respect and honestly love for him grows for him in this scene. As his does for hers with the previous moment. It's a slow climb to the top with them but what a view it is when we get there. It's so worth the wait.

I friggin love this shot of them. Forever adore how in sync they are in the field. All dressed in their black ops gear. Sexy Af watching them be poetry in motion together. The aesthetic is very pleasing to the eye. Watching them doing an off the book ops together. It ticks a box for me I love. They decide they need to make sure those pallets are actually the money first. Once they do that they can get Joe’s killer during the arrest. Harper asks how they’re gonna do this? Tim says no idea. LOL

Tim goes off to check it by himself. He’s so tall and you can see that as he ducks under a semi to check the container. Sexy af how tall he is to me. I would say I’m sorry but let’s not lie shall we? Ha Tim gets caught confirming the pallet has the money and sees the rest have been caught too .You can see the panic on his face when he sees Lucy has been caught. Jangus rants that he warned them and they didn’t listen. Harper then signals Angela with her sniper rifle. Trained right on Norman.

They’re at a stalemate with this. Tim wants to negotiate a settlement. I love how Tim takes control of this whole situation. Sexy af. Saying all they want is Joe’s Killer. If they give him up they walk away. Norman considers this. Then asks about the money. Tim says 'Not our problem.' Lucy pipes up and Tim looks right at her and repeats himself. Now that she’s in danger he’s not taking any more risks. That game is over. He’s gonna break one more rule tonight to keep her safe. Letting the money go.

I love him so much. If bailing on the money keeps her safe and gets them their killer it’s a win win for him. The way he stares the Colonel down as he decides. *Oh my lord* Causing me repeated ovary explosion in this one. Protective Tim is one of my fav Tim flavors haha He’s got me going more in this episode than normal. I would say I’m sorry but I’m very much not. LOL

It works and they give up one of their men as the killer. The plan worked for the most part...They didn't get everything they wanted but getting Joe's killer was the most important. It gets back to Grey and he does some rule breaking of his own. Just accepting their wild unrealistic story of how they found Joe’s killer just walking the docks. Says the paper work better be spotless on this. Harper smiles and says yes sir. This is an excellent episode all around.

Next morning Jackson wakes up and notices Kojo is gone. Lucy says she’s really not ready for a dog yet. (Or his new owner heh) That he is gone. Lucy continues on to apologize for getting him without asking his input. That she was going to pay to replace all his things. How sorry she was about all his stuff. Jackson quickly breaks and is sweet and says he did like Kojo but hopes he went to a good home. Lucy smiles and says he did.

I want to talk a little bit about Tim taking Kojo. The amount this man cares about not only Lucy but animals is prominent in this moment. He knew how much this dog meant to Lucy therefore he was important to Tim. Also taking him so she could come visit him and have access whenever she wanted. The depth of caring this man shows for her in his actions are unreal. They legit became co-parents to this dog in this episode and we all loved it. They own a dog together long before they were together. Makes me so happy I can not.

We then get this GLORIOUS shot of Tim walking Kojo. Tim looking fine as hell walking his new fur baby. Basically a model walking down the street. That sweet smile on his face as he looks down at him. He loves this dog so much already. Tim meets up with Mitch and does something I know Lucy would be beaming over. He put in a good word to get him a live in guard job. Tells him it’s not a handout. That it’s a job and a roof over his head. Mitch thanks him and he hugs Tim. He looks like he’s gonna cry. My boy. Mitch can still see the lingering guilt in his eyes.

Tells Tim ‘It’s not your fault you know?’ That what happened to him is nobodies fault. Tim is grateful for his words. Getting forgiveness for a weight he’s been carrying around for far too long. Such a good way to end the episode. Tim wipes a tear from his eye and looks down at Kojo. Tells him ‘Not a word’ LOL I love this man so much and how much he’s grown. Makes me want to cry. Damn good episode holy moly.

As always thank you to everyone who like/comment/reblog. You all make my whole day with them. I enjoy doing these so much and you make it all worth while :)

No non chenford notes this ep was pretty intertwined. See you all in 2x15 :)

[cannibalismyuri]

People aren’t obligated to reblog your fanfics if they don’t enjoy the writing. You don’t get as much attention because you’re not as known. You haven’t been publishing as long as the “big authors” you pretend to love but then bash them immediately afterwards. It sucks, but you can’t buy people’s affection. You pretend to be more humble than everyone else but then get pissed so easily because you don’t have bragging rights.

i never said everyone has to enjoy my writing. also the Thing is; these big authors have been publishing for longer yeah !! and their writing is absolutely marvelous and i genuinely adore them. but. they also are popular bc they're seen as Better than other creators and put on a pedestal. which is both uncomfortable for them and Highly discouraging for others. and this is due to a cliquey mindset. it Is. as much as u like to pretend it isn't, it rlly rlly is. people can be just friends. there is nothing wrong with supporting ur friends' work more or being more invested in ur friends' work. the problem lies in the fact that many people just disregard other rlly talented creators in favor of the already popular ones (who are popular for a reason. their art / fics / wtv Are really good and i read their stuff too! not trying to put them down here, just trying to lift other people up) which makes for a fandom that is going to die out. and dont u fucking dare bring my fics and my engagement and me into this. maybe i was petty abt that before and i acknowledge that. but i haven't made a single post abt how my fics are getting less engagement in Months. the post i did make and the one ur probably so butthurt abt wasn't even initially abt cliques. it was just saying that we need to rb more and be more vocal of our support of creators in the tags or - wherever. NOT underrated / underappreciated / smaller / less popular creators. i was Very general abt it. creators. period. the talk of cliques came into play when i peer reviewed someone's tags on that post. bc they were extremely real and the problem of less vocal support affects "popular" creators too! ive been noticing that they're also getting less engagement. but mostly the people affected by it are creators in the fandom with no prior popularity. and it is an actual issue. also when the actual fuck have i ever bought someone's affection?? im too broke for that, my dude, i struggle to pay rent most months. and i've Not acted humble or holier than thou. the reason i have so many moots and friends is bc im a genuinely nice person who wants to support and uplift EVERYONE in this fandom. i do have personal beef with people, but im civil to Everyone. thats the reason i have friends. unlike you, i dont send anon hate bc im butthurt over one (1) post <3 hope that fucking helps <3 also the post wasnt even abt ME. bc i genuinely dont give a fuck abt people seeing and liking my writing anymore bc i have Grown Past That and just... adopted a give no fucks mindset. the post was abt the fandom slacking and not appreciating creators (PERIOD.) enough. it was never abt me. also bragging rights? babe nobody's bragging abt how they get more interaction. that's rude asf and entirely out of the question. and those popular writers ur talking abt who Could brag if they wanted to DON'T. bc they aren't despicable human beings who love to put others down. i'm Friends, or at the very least, friendly moots w the writers ur talking abt. and im not trying to put them down. im trying to lift other people up, which is smth u just Don't understand apparently. i even contributed in a whole ass event to shine light on talented, less popular writers in the fandom. bylerficrecweek? u might ive heard of it. it helped, or i like to Think it did, with helping people branch out, but the problem wasn't completely solved. people who are equally as talented as the already popular creators have talked abt their experience with engagement in the exact same post that ur so pissed abt. im going to put tags from various people under the cut so that u can see exactly how much people are affected by the prominent clique problem in the byler fandom. hope u have a good day and u wanna kiss me so bad it makes u look stupid 😚

THIS is the post im talking abt in question, the og post along with denise @bylertruther 's tags. i'm going to be putting screenshots of people's tags on this post with due credit. (to any of the people featured here : if u want me to remove ur tags feel free to say so!)

via @holyvirgilscriptures

via @runninguplenorahills

via @unwisewizard

via @apatheticlexicographer

via @fireflywitch

via @hawkwidows

via @sandinmybed

via @katimanki2

ANDDDDD thats it! hope u fucking realized that i was speaking generally and also Many people face this problem. kiss my ass 💋

[silentmoths]

As Fragile as a Brick wall

Masterlist||First||Previous||Next

I realized if i didnt get this chapter out soon, ya'll probably wouldnt be getting one till like, june. tears of the kingdom drops on friday boissss

Chapter 8: ding dong, sneznhaya calling

Zhongli x Afab (fem pronoun) Reader

NSFW elements in later chapters

Multi-chapter, Royal AU, angst, mentions of death, eventual fluff, eventual smut, hurt/comfort

(Wonderful header image made by the wonderful @ainescribe)

The unfortunate part about agreeing to help Zhongli with this was…well, helping Zhongli.

The unfortunate part about agreeing to help Zhongli with this was…well, helping Zhongli.

In the weeks leading up to the arrival of their Ambassador, you had to give Zhongli a crash course in how to impress a Sneznhayan. The northernmost kingdom was often seen as icy and distant, but once you got to know their customs, it was not as difficult as one would think.

However, despite your help, he still insisted you spend the next few weeks resting in your chambers, recovering from your broken rib, which meant it was you and he, stuck in very close quarters as you explain every little detail. You had spent plenty of time in the land of snow in the years he had been gone, after all, you had been set to marry their prince…which is why they were now upset with Zhongli.

“So what was the prince like, anyway?” He asks you one day as you go over things again with him, you wince.

“Ugh Ajax?” you grumble “I mean…he’s alright? He’s not actually the Tsaritsa’s kid…apparently she could never conceive, so she adopted him.”

Zhongli raises an eyebrow as he looks up from his paperwork “Truly? I’m sure there’s some sort of loophole we could exploit there…” “Don’t try.” You warn him “She loves Ajax more than life itself. It’ll just make more problems.” 

Zhongli hums, leaning his head against this hand as he watches you.

“Did you like Ajax?” He asks after a moment.

“Like I said, he’s alright…but he…I dunno…there’s something about him that always kinda freaked me out?”

“Oh? Do explain.” Zhongli presses, watching as your brow furrows.

“It’s… hard to explain I guess.” you start with a sigh “Sometimes he’s great…he’s funny, smart…a genuinely cool person to hang out with…I would consider him a friend.”

Zhongli notes the conflicted look upon your face, and the way you fall silent as you consider you next words, he finds himself invested, what on earth was wrong with the prince of the snow to cause his own little love such confusion?

“Sometimes it’s like…a switch would flick in him.” You eventually manage out after several long minutes of trying to figure out the right words. “So…Ajax has always been interested in combat, he’s a member of the royal guard as well as being the prince….right?”

Zhongli nods, not entirely unheard of…hell, the king had once spoken to Zhongli about the potential of his sons, her brothers, joining the guard…an idea Zhongli had quickly discouraged because…to be honest, they wouldn’t have survived a day.

“No one will spar against him.” 

“I mean, he’s the prince-” Zhongli adds.

“No you don’t understand, Zhongli. It’s not that no one will fight him because of his status…it’s because those foolish enough to fight him…don't usually come out in one piece…literally.” 

At first, He thinks she’s joking, but he can see it in her eyes, that… haunted look, and he finds himself invested.

“Like I said…it’s a switch…the moment combat happens… he goes from this sweet, kinda goofy guy to… the only words I have for it is… bloodthirsty monster” you sigh.

“Hm…he seems a rather… interesting character…” 

“That’s a word for it.” You huff.

“And what of this Ambassador? Do you happen to know him?” 

At this, you perk up a little “Yes actually! I’ve met him a couple of times… he’s one of the funny ones that goes by a weird name.” “You mean like the captain of the guard is literally called Capitano?” Zhongli snorts, you nod.

“Yep, just like that.” you sigh “His name is Pantalone- Don’t you start!” 

“Start what?” Zhongli snickers, receiving a pillow to the face “His name is pants-”

“ I know!” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose “I know his name is pants.”

Sometimes…

Sometimes you found Zhongli’s presence a little less frustrating than you used to

—-

“Um…your highness-” Zhongli mutters from beside you.

“I see him.” you grunt; already feeling a vein ready to pop in your head “I thought you said they were sending the Ambassador”

“They said they were”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, already you were very tired of today. Sure your rib had been healed for several weeks, but it had been a very long time since you’d had to dress up this fancily… and you’d even broken out the formalwear the Tsaritsa had tailored for you upon your first visit to them.

“So why then…am I seeing the prince…and his happy gaggle of men…approaching the castle?” you ask, your voice is terse and thin, this was not what was meant to happen, even Zhongli looks absolutely and utterly confused. 

“You know him better than I do…” Zhongli sighs, also looking equally as uncomfortable. For all the king he was, it was not often that he had to dress so regally, even you knew he was far more used to chainmail and plate, not heavy, ornate suits. 

“Is it to late to back out-” 

“Absolutely.”

”Damn.” you sigh, this was about to get…*uncomfortable*

You find yourself standing beside the throne: on Zhongli’s right, as the throne room doors burst open. In the corner of your eye you see both Zhongli’s grip on the arms of the throne tighten, and Xiao, stationed to his left, hand tightening on the hilt of his sword as your ex-fiance bounds into the room like an unruly child.

There is a moment where all is still, as if time stops as his eyes land on you.

And in the next moment, he’s sprinting towards the throne, manic look upon his boyish features. You see Zhongli poise to stand, Xiao taking hold of his sword properly, and then you’re engulfed by strong, and unfortunately familiar arms as Ajax laughs warmly. 

This was what you were afraid of. 

The prince lifts you from your feet and twirls you like you weigh nothing, as you spin, you spy Ganyu, by the doors, her eyes wide in shock at his display.

“My little krolik!” Ajax laughs as he finally ceases the godawful spinning and sets you down, his eyes are bright and his smile is wide as he looks you up and down. “It’s so good to see you again!” 

You don't see it, but you can feel the absolute fury radiating off of Zhongli when Ajax leans in to do exactly what you knew he’d do next, and you thankfully, shift your head in time. He kisses you, thanks to your quick movement, it’s only on the corner of your mouth, before he continues kissing affectionately up your cheek and to your forehead. 

If it wasn't for the fact you were trying to pry this idiot prince off you, you probably would have found this situation funny, but there was no room for ruining Zhongli’s day here. 

“Ajax…I wasn’t expecting you.” You finally manage to huff out as you push the overly affectionate prince away, but he simply grins, totally uncaring that he’s not yet introduced himself to the King, right beside him. “We were told Ambassador Pantalone-”

“Oh! Yeah as soon as I heard ol’ Pants was being sent here I immediately took over! I wanted to see you again my darling krolik!” Ajax interjects “I wanted to make sure you were alright!”

“Ajax.” you sigh, shaking your head, you knew he was impulsive but this? This was something else entirely. “I know I left in a hurry last time but have you no faith in my abilities?” 

“Ahem…” Xiao is the one to finally save you with his well timed, if not violently forced cough, snapping the prince’s attention away from you and to Zhongli, who is raising a none-too-impressed eyebrow at the boy.

“Oh, Right! Heya!”

Heya… this idiot has just come all the way from his home country as the representative…and he greets the king with a heya. 

You’re sure the sound of your palm making contact with your face echoes loudly throughout the throne room.

 —-

You are thankful that after such a long trip, dinner and sleep is the only thing on Ajax and his men’s minds, you personally escort Ajax to his room and bid him goodnight, if only to know he would no longer bother you. Considering he’d all but attached himself to your arm the entire day, just like he did every time you had been to Sneznhaya since being promised to him. 

You did your best to keep him from saying anything… inflammatory in front of Zhongli, you didn't want a war breaking out, but goddamn you also did not want to be here.

Even if watching Zhongli’s eye twitch every time Ajax got affectionate with you was somewhat entertaining.

In order to return to your own chambers from the guest wing, you find yourself shambling past the king’s study…you didn’t even notice the lantern lit inside, until you hear your name called from within.

Zhongli sits, at his desk, a bottle of a fine looking, amber coloured liquid in his hand. As you poke your head inside, he grabs not one, but two glasses.

Honestly after the day you’d had? You don't question it, entering silently and shutting the door behind you before you drop, ungraciously, into the chair on the opposite side of the desk, with enough force that the pile of paperwork set upon the mahogany and gold tabletop shudders. 

It’s silent, as Zhongli sets down both glasses and pours the whiskey, there is silence as you take your glass.

There is silence as he raises his own and clinks it against yours and there is silence as you both throw back the drinks.

”That is a prince!?” Zhongli howls as he slams down his glass, the paperwork gives another shudder.

”Excuse you.” you grunt ”that. Is my ex-fiance!” 

Zhongli snorts at the exact moment you crack a small grin, he motions for you to hold out your glass again as he refills his own. You share another shot in silence.

“He is aware that he is an ex, yes?” He asks, you shrug.

“He should! I mean…even his mother knows…”

“Is he stupid?”

You look over your glass at Zhongli, raising a single eyebrow.

He pours you another glass as an apology for a stupid question.

“If you are as smart a man as I remember, you will have more of this on hand.” you eventually mumble as you turn the amber liquid around in your glass “we’re going to need it.”

Zhongli scoffs at you.

“This is the youngest of my collection.”

“By the time this is over, we’ll need the vintage.” 

Taglist: @stygianoir @meimeimeirin @ainescribe @dustofthedailylife @rjssierjrie @crystalflygeo @angel-of-requiem @asoulsreverie @zomzomb1e Want to be added to the list? shoot me an ask~

[dreamescapeswriting]

In general, I understand why you wouldn’t want minors reading smut and I agree with putting warnings out there but you just seem OBSESSED with it. Like more than any other blog I’ve ever seen. To the point it’s really off putting.

They’re going to read it regardless. I completely agree with refusing to write certain triggers or things because I’ve definitely seen some disgusting stuff out there, but I just don’t understand why you’re so worried about the age of your readers or requesters. A 13 year old could create a blog and say they’re 30 so unless you require proof of ID you really didn’t prevent anything.

It seems like just more stress on your part. I used to follow you a long time ago but like every two days you’d post about how you were blocking accounts that didn’t provide their age or have anything posted. It’s just got annoying so I unfollowed and recently came across one of your posts again and nothing has changed.

I think you’re super talented and I’ve always wanted to request something from you but it honestly gives me anxiety so I turn to other blogs that don’t make me feel like I’m doing something wrong even though I’m not a minor. I’m not comfortable doing it off of anon and I don’t want my age and info out there either, even if it’s just for you. It feels like getting a background check just to request something.

It’s your blog and you have the complete right to do whatever you want and I don’t have to follow you either. I know all of that. I also know this is going to come off as rude and I really don’t mean it that way. I guess I’m just trying to understand your thought process around it. Maybe it could open my eyes more and I could see it from your perspective and be more understanding about why you push this so much.

Hiya darling,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and being honest with me, I appreciate you coming to me with this and letting me explain my side on this matter. While I understand that it can be frustrating and off-putting to see reminders about what I have on my account it's needed.

Firstly, my main concern is protecting both myself and my readers when I put those mature posts out on the internet. The internet is a tricky and very weird place, and as a content creator who deals with adult material, I have a responsibility to ensure I'm not inadvertently providing explicit content to minors. This is not only a personal ethical stance but a legal one in many places of the world. 

I understand that minors might still find ways to access adult content, not just mine but many others, despite my and many other people's efforts, and I know that it's virtually impossible to prevent it but by setting clear boundaries and rules on my account, I am doing my part to discourage that as much as humanly possible. It's true people lie about their age, but having an age in their bio or not accepting anonymous requests creates a deterrence.

My old (since I have not posted about it since) about blocking blank accounts were always about filtering out any accounts that could be seen as bots, that be porn bots or just random bots that flood Tumblr, and stopping people who solely make accounts just to steal work from hard-working authors such as myself and many others who put content out into the world for free and end up having it stolen from people. Putting those posts out was about maintaining a safe and responsible space for me and others who lurk on my account. It also helps me interact with people who respect these boundaries and understand them and why they're in place in the first place. 

In regards to the stress it might seem to cause to many others, I find that being upfront and putting these kinds of things in place reduces my stress when it comes to posting. It allows me to focus more on creating content without constantly worrying about the age of my readers. The transparency on my part (and those who abide by the "rules" - I guess) helps create a more comfortable environment for those who follow and interact with this blog. 

I understand that not everyone is comfortable sharing their account when requesting smut, which is why I offer to hide your @ whenever people send me requests. Which this has worked for people in the past and still to this day. I would never judge someone for sending me something, as I've always prided myself on keeping a safe space on my account so if for some reason you don't feel comfortable or it gives you anxiety I deeply apologise.

While not everyone feels okay with adding their age on a bio, it's important to me and many other authors on Tumblr so that I and readers all feel safe sharing content intended for those over age. It's crucial that I feel I'm not contributing to the exposure of explicit content to people underage. 

Finding a balance between the concerns I have are a challenge, I and many other authors struggle with it all the time. I realise it's not the perfect solution for everyone but this is the only way I feel comfortable. 

Some people may read adult content regardless of barriers that are set in place, and I respect that people make their own choices, my policies are a way to set a standard and communicate that I'm taking my responsibility seriously, making an effort to guide my content to the age-appropriate audience, therefore I'm morally and legally covered. 

I'm sorry if this causes you anxiety as that is never my aim in life, but please understand that it also causes me anxiety when I don't know the age of people requesting adult content. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be for a 20+-year-old to find out that her explicit writings were asked for by a minor. This is a situation I - and other authors - want to avoid at all costs, both for ethical and peace of mind reasons. Without these policies in place, I would have to consider stopping writing adult content altogether to ensure I'm not inadvertently harming anyone or breaking any laws. Without these things in place, I would have to consider stopping writing smut altogether to ensure I'm not inadvertently harming anyone. 

Thank you for taking the time to reach out. I hope I got my points across without coming across as bitchy as I don't want that to be the case. 

Kind regards,

~M

[confusedblakex]

Stars Fall: Good Ending

Pairing: Shoto Todoroki X (Male) Reader Angst

Summary: Though bittersweet, he understands his feelings just before it's too late but can't tell you until after

Wordcount: 1105

Warnings: Internalised homophobia, hidden feelings, denial

Requested by: N/A

Inspired by: N/A

Notes: Series is complete! Now for the soulmate AU series

Last edited: 12th May 2023

Part 1 - Part 2 - Good Ending - Bad Ending

Shoto had never particularly wanted this. He had never been interested in romantic relationships and was discouraged from having them, they would only distract him.

But now he had a lot to think about. You liked him. No… you loved him.

He hadn’t ever thought about you in that way and restricted himself from his mind ever straying there. Yet he couldn’t deny the butterflies that rose in his stomach when you confessed to him. It played on his mind since then and, despite his father pushing him into a falsified relationship for his public image, he struggled to define what he felt.

There was something about the relationship he had with you that just wasn’t the same as his other friends. You had been closer to him, and there were emotions there that he just couldn’t place.

He had initially come to the conclusion that it was just a close friendship, but that was before you confessed. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but he also felt a part of him may be in denial.

Maybe he did love you? The thoughts spun in his head for days and weeks.

It was only the night before Valentine’s that he approached Momo about his feelings. He explained what had happened and told her of his dilemma.

“If that’s how you feel, then you probably do have romantic feelings for him,” Momo said, “You two were always so close, I want to be the last person standing in the way of that.”

“You’re not upset?” Shoto asked, he expected a more betrayed reaction.

“I suspected that you felt nothing towards me… Don’t get me wrong! I really do value our friendship, but don’t suppress your feelings for (y/n) because of our public image,”

“But how do I know for certain this is love?” He asked. There was too much risk in this for it to be so simple.

“Trust your intuition, if you feel it’s right to pursue a relationship with him, then do. We can work around the public side of it all with some secrecy and a bit of luck,” Momo said, placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort.

And it just made sense. He didn’t realise how much he missed your closeness with him. He didn’t understand that the butterflies he got whenever you were alone together was excitement. He thought that you had pushed him away, but he was also keeping his distance from you. A relationship was never something he wanted to risk, but he was willing to try it. For you.

Yes, he had been in denial. But he understood now.

The publicity stunt with Momo still took place, but as he made the announcement his eyes kept searching around the cafeteria for you. And when he found you sat next to Izuku, he noticed your state.

You looked distraught and sickly. He needed to tell you how he felt, he didn’t want to put you through this. Izuku helped you out of your seat and the two of you left the cafeteria. He wanted to go after you, but he couldn’t.

When you arrived back in the classroom, Izuku was holding your arm, seemingly guiding you around. You spoke briefly and quietly with Aizawa, who looked surprised… or worried? You bowed to him, and then you left the room with Izuku once more.

Chatter started up the moment you left, rumours flying across the classroom.

“Do you think he hurt himself in that quirk accident?”

“Did you see his eyes? I think he’s been blinded…”

“I heard he has some rare and uncurable disease-”

Uraraka stayed silent through it all, quiet and downcast. There was something wrong, and Shoto was only getting more worried.

There was a buzzing in his head, and his chest felt like it caving in. He needed to talk to you.

---

Shoto knocked on your dorm and waited for a response.

He had been trying to find you for a while now, but after hearing noise from your dorm room he decided to try there. The door opened to Izuzku, not you.

“Oh, hi Shoto,” he said, a smile forming on his face, “can I help you?”

“Do you know where (y/n) is? I can’t find him.” He asked, and Izuku’s smile dropped.

He was led to Recovery Girl’s office, and the feeling in Shoto’s chest only grew. It was dread.

Curtains were pulled back by Izuku to reveal you, sitting, staring into nothingness, with a very fancy-looking doctor looking at your eyes. The doctor turned to Recovery Girl with a solemn look, bowed to her, and then left.

“I’ll leave you to be,” Izuku said and turned to speak with Recovery Girl at her desk.

Shoto felt frozen. Not by ice, ice didn’t burn this deep.

“I was going to take you out for soba this evening,” Soto said as he sat down next to you.

“Sorry, Shoto, we might need to reschedule,” you said casually. The tension lessened, but the hurt in those words still lingered. You didn’t turn to look at him as you spoke.

Moving before he thought, he brought his hand to your cheek, moving your face to look at him. He was taken aback by your eyes. They were a glowing orange, the pupils a deep red.

You lent into his hand, pressing it into your cheek, revelling in the cold of his skin on his right side.

“It’s the star tear curse,” you whispered “I’m blind, Shoto. I loved you too much,”

So this was why. With all of his indecision and his denial, he was hurting you.

It was heartbreaking. Your future, your hero career, even your friends. There wasn’t an aspect of your life that this wouldn’t affect. There was nothing he could do now except try to heal the emotional wounds.

“I love you too, (y/n),” Shoto said softly, “I know it’s too late, and I’m sorry I took so long, but I know now.”

The tear that trailed down his cheek turned to steam as it fell, and he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Really?” You smiled solemnly, “If only you’d said something yesterday,”

“I’m sorry I can’t fix this, but I want to make up for my failures,” He said.

“Thank you, Shoto,” You said as you pulled him into your chest, and he wrapped his arms around you. He held you tightly as you quietly cried into his hair.

Shoto loved you, he knew he loved you,  and he promised himself he would never stop. The pain had gone. Your tears were no longer cursed, but your sight would never return.

[ungaroyals]

I have a love-hate relationship with people waiting for fics to be complete before starting them.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully understand why people do it. There’s nothing worse than getting invested and then having the author say they’re not going to complete it (no one look at me 💀). But at the same time, having active readers that comment each time there’s a new update is soooooo important to a lot of writers motivation for posting more. I know fic writing isn’t supposed to be about how much attention a fic gets, but it still definitely helps when a writer sits down and is trying to find inspiration to keep writing the next chapter. I remember posting summer of love and feeling sad when a chapter didn’t get as much engagement as I’d hoped, but then, when it was finished it finally got a lot of attention. Attention that would have been super and helpful and validating when I was actually writing it.

I don’t know, it’s a weird situation and I’m not entirely sure I know what I’m saying, but I think it’s important to remember that these writers are writing stuff for free, and yes, being able to binge a fic is awesome, but from a writer’s perspective it can be a bit discouraging while you’re writing. Knowing so many people won’t even give it the time of day until it’s marked as complete.