#and he says he doesn't care about our appearance bc he can make anything look good

[friendofthecrows]

It's Jokul's turn on the gender euphoria and I'm annoyed by his choices :/

[xxlady-lunaxx]

What did I do..? | {KokuZan}

Theme: Angst

Note: Ignore the picture i can't find any kokuzan ones ;-;

TW: suicide-

ALSO if anything doesn't make sense it's bc i was too lazy to write out the AU so, sorry..

Reincarnated everyone! (basically it's modern AU; reincarnated hhahahoksmvfewoifkmsssddddffffffffuck.)

As a child, Muzan was very easily manipulated. He believed everyone deserved second chances and said, whenever someone did something they shouldn't have—no matter how drastic the consequences—that everybody made mistakes. Which, as you can see, is quite a naïve way of thinking when it comes to reality. 

What's more, Muzan tried to be very helpful. No matter what anyone asked, it was almost guarenteed to be that he would say yes. 

You could ask him to do the most far-fetched thing that any sane person would say they couldn't do and he would most likely say, "I'll do my best to achieve that for you."

So, he was often—very often—asked to do things for others. And he let them, not seeing anything bad about it. He only saw that he was making it easier for others to live and so he continued on doing this.

The only exception to his agreeing was his friend—more specifically Michikatsu, Douma, Akaza, Hantengu and his many brothers, Gyokko, Gyutaro, Daki, Nakime and Kaigaku. They were the some of the only people who cared—truly—about Muzan and who constantly protected him as much as they could from people who tried to use him to their own will. 

Muzan didn't notice any of this though. But he did know that they were people who would stick by him no matter what—something he was absolutely grateful for and told them everyday. 

Michikatsu—also known as Kokushibo within their circle of friends—being the eldest always treated all of them as his younger siblings, telling them to do this and that and making sure they were intact and alright. 

All but Muzan whom he treated more as a very close 'friend.' 

Everybody else could clearly see the favortism written all over Muzan's face whenever Kokushibo was around, and they let it be. 

Muzan didn't notice that either, however.  

Now, as the time went on, things began to change. 

True, Muzan had never been in the center of attention for selfless reasons and had always only been because people wanted to take advantage of him, but now a rumour had started passing by and Muzan started getting dirty looks from people he didn't even know.

Muzan grew scared to be outside at all as someone would hiss at him that he was a horrible man, that he'd done nothing but bad. 

He didn't understand.

And neither did his friends because they had never known Muzan to do anything bad. 

One day, one particular person had gone up to Muzan. She looked stern and very mad, dragging two other women with her. 

"Do you remember me, Kibutsuji?" she said, glaring into his eyes. She was shorter than him, looking to be almost 5 feet whilst Muzan was at 5"6 at around the age of 16. 

"No...?" he said uncertainly. 

The girl then made one of the other people stand in front of him. They looked to be siblings, this new woman appeared to be older. She had pink eyes that Muzan decided would probably looking pretty if it weren't for the fact that she was looking at him as if he was going to kill her. 

"What about her? Do you remember her? This is my sister Kanae," the first girl said, peeking from around Kanae's shoulder. "You and your little Uppermoon friends killed her." 

Muzan looked around for some help but his friends were out somewhere and all around them were only people whispering and glaring at him. "She's alive though..." he pointed out, averting his eyes. What were they talking about?

"Oh really," the girl said. "Listen, both of us were Hashira in our past lives. Both of us died from the same demon. From the same demon you created. You had millions of people killed just so you could be immortal!!" She placed a hand on her hip, her eyes searing into his head. "You are a monster. You deserve to go to hell." 

The last girl who hadn't been been introduced was fidgeting with a coin, but at this she slipped around the other two and said, her voice both equally quiet and angry, "I hope you life is it's own hell for all you ever did to all of us."

Muzan backed away against the wall. "I didn't do that! I... don't know what you're talking about! I swear! You have got me mixed up!!" he said, desperately trying to make sense of what was happening. He'd only ever helped people! What did they mean?

"Hmm, maybe you've got it all mixed up," the first girl said, letting her hair down and showing him her clip which was in the shape of a butterfly. "Look at this. And go find your blond friend—Douma. Tell him if butterflies have any sort of significance to him. I'm sure they do because you turned him into a demon. And then you let him go and eat so, so many humans. The butterfly should be a reminder to him of who killed him." 

Muzan blinked. "Douma? Douma would never do that! He's very kind!" he insisted, crossing his arms. They could talk bad about him all they wanted but now about his friends!! 

"Hmm, kind? Not a word I think of when I think of him. But maybe he was. Maybe he was kind and you turned him to the opposite," the girl said, giving him a cruel smile before stalking away, her hands clasped around the two other girls'. 

The whispers around him grew and someone shouted, "I heard he was a cannibal!!"

Muzan shook his head. "I wasn't! I'm not!"

"My grandfather said his mother's father's mother had fought one of his demons!"

"I don't have demons," Muzan pleaded. 

"I heard he called himself a demon king," someone else said. 

The people seemed to rise up all at once, shouting incoherent threats to him.

They closed in on him and Muzan cowered, feeling terrified. What if he had done all of that? People were to be trusted and he knew that they wouldn't lie about this, right? They must be telling the truth... What if he was such a horrible person after all?

A hand clasped around his wrist and he looked up, dread filling him for a split second. But then Kokushibo's familiar face met his gaze and he stood, being dragged out of the crowd quickly.

"Muzan!!" Kokushibo called back between quick breaths as they ran off. "Are you okay?"

Muzan thought for a moment as they ran and didn't answer until they stop. "Do you think I'm a horrible person like they said I am?" he asked, his voice meek.

Kokushibo narrowed his eyes. "Do I think?" he asked, sounding furious.

Muzan closed his eyes, scared of a reaction. He'd never felt so small before.

"Of course I don't!! You're my best friend! You would never do all that shit!" Kokushibo said.

Muzan opened his eyes to see his friend looking worried and exasperated. "You... don't think so?"

"No!! And even if all what they said is true, it's definitely not about you. They probably got the wrong person." Kokushibo sighed, hugging him tightly. "You worry me, Muzan. Maybe you should just stay at home."

Muzan's cheeks flushed at the physical contact—lately, something about Michikatsu had been making him quite... happy. "Thank you," he murmured, his voice muffled by Kokushibo's shoulder.

"Anytime. Want to go to the library? No one's allowed to shout there so we can have some peace and quiet," Kokushibo said, grinning.

Muzan nodded. "Okay."

~~~

At the library, Kokushibo started roaming the shelves looking for books he might want to read.

Muzan, on the other hand, couldn't get his mind over what had happened earlier. About everyone shouting at him, that is. Not with... with Kokushibo.

He immediately shook his head. No thinking about that now. 

He searched through the rows of books until he saw the sign titled, "History."

Here he might find some answers. If he'd done something like this before and had caused people to react like that there must be even a little information about it somewhere here.

After searching through the books, finding a lot of things about everything he didn't want to know about, he found a book with a paper taped onto it that said, in hastily written letters, "May be proclaimed as History and not Historical Fiction." which was interesting enough for Muzan and he quickly took out the book.

He sat down on the floor, not really caring about anything, as he opened the book.

On the spine of the book cover, there were the words, "Demon Slayer" on it, along with the name of the author. (Koyoharu Gotouge?!)

There was a little information over the book and how it was supposedly written based off the character 'Tanjiro' who had actually been real but how the editor had said it must've been simply fiction. It said other things about the author as well that Muzan decided to simply ignore.

He opened the first page, noting that it was a chapter book—quite large as well. He flipped through a couple pages, stopping quite suddenly when he saw a picture somewhere. He went back and nearly gasped as the picture was of a man that looked... almost exactly like him. There were words under it saying it was an illustration of... Muzan Kibutsuji.

He turned his gaze to the words and skimmed the page in a panic.

And there he was, Muzan Kibutsuji. It had to be him. His scent was overly powering and bringing in a deep aura that made me shake from deep in my bones. I lunged forward, grabbing his arm as I shouted, "Muzan Kibutsuji!"

Muzan turned around and his piercing red eyes glared at me for half a second. But then he turned fully and I saw he was carrying a child. A little girl. A human girl. "Dear? What's this about?" a woman asked, a hand on Muzan's shoulder as she peeked around him.

Two humans. They were both humans, I just knew it. But he... he was a demon. There was no mistakening the smell he had, was he... He was hiding amongst the humans.

(Ermmmm pretend this is the part of Asakusa when Tanjiro first meets Muzan LMAO- I didn't know how to write it since kny is a manga :'>)

Muzan's eyes lingered on his name for a minute. He was real, no? This was real.

He skipped more pages towards the end and saw his name again. In this part, he appeared to be fighting the Main Character and the people named 'Hashira.' 

Hashira.

Wasn't that what the girl from earlier had said?

Standing suddenly, Muzan held the book tightly to his chest and walked as quickly as he could, his eyes searching for Kokushibo.

When he found him, he said, his voice low and scared, "Koku... I'm a villain."

Kokushibo gave him a perplexed look as Muzan handed him the book. "What? Please don't tell me the people's words have gotten into your head. You're not a villain, you're-"

Muzan didn't necessarily know if he wanted to know the end of the sentence or not and his cheeks flushed as he said hurridly, "Just read some of this."

Kokushibo opened the book at random, still looking confused. He looked down at the page and read a couple words before he looked up at Muzan, his eyes wide. "No, uhm. I'm sure it's just a coincidence it's your name," he said, looking very much concerned.

"It's not!! It's me! There are some pictures in this as well, see?" Muzan said, flipping a couple pages and pointing to a picture of himself transforming into what appeared to be him as a child into an adult. "It's me."

Kokushibo stared at it for a long while, then said, "Oh."

"It's me," he repeated. "Koku... everything anyone had said is true. It's all true. I'm... a monster."

Kokushibo looked up at that, putting the book aside. "Listen, you're not a monster, okay? You're Muzan, the boy who helps everyone even when he shouldn't! You're everything but what they've said. You're not whatever this book is lying about," he insisted, his hands clasped around Muzan's shoulders. 

"But I-" 

"I won't accept any 'but's' when they're not true at all!" Kokushibo interrupted. "Now, clearly the library isn't where we should be. We can go home now, I'll make you some food."

~~~

Muzan's eyes traced Kokushibo's actions as he cooked. He wondered what it would be like for his friend to cook for him as a boyfrie- 

No, no, they could never date. Not when Kokushibo was already getting enough hate as it was. 

Muzan sighed, leaning his head on his arms.

"You alright?" Kokushibo asked, placing a bowl of ramen on the table.

"I'm fine," Muzan mumbled, picking up the spoon he was handed. "Thanks."

Kokushibo nodded and sat across from him. 

They ate in silence for a while, both consumed in their thoughts.

As Muzan ate, he stared at the noodles in his bowl intently. He wondered if anything would be as it used to be again. He really wished it could be. He really hated this. Hated it too much and wanted to badly for it to be over. Not for himself, no that would be selfish of him, rather for his friends. And his family. He knew it wasn't easy for them either, constantly trying to help him when they should just let him die. It wasn't like he'd been a good person anyways. He had been horrible. He'd killed so many people just so he could be immortal? Wow. 

The door opened suddenly, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

Kaigaku strode in followed by Gyutaro, both looking rather beaten up but wearing triumphant smiles on their faces.

Kokushibo and Muzan stood at the same time and rushed over to them, concerned. 

"What happened?" Kokushibo asked as Kaigaku batted his worried hand away.

"Nothing, nothing. We were only teaching some people talking bad about Muzan here a lesson," Kaigaku said, swerving around them and plopping onto Muzan's chair. "Hey, you finishing this? Can I have it? I'm starving."

Muzan nodded slowly, losing his appetite. "You shouldn't be getting into fights deliberately..." he fussed. "Especially for me."

Gyutaro waved him off. "It's fine, they're liars anyways," he said, grinning and stealing Kokushibo's bowl, grabbing a new spoon. 

"Hey, that's mine!!" Kokushibo whined. 

"They're not liars," Muzan mumbled as Kokushibo went to chase Gyutaro.

The other three froze and stared at him. "What?" they asked, almost simutaneously. 

"They're not liars," he repeated. "It's all true, all what they said."

Kaigaku raised an eyebrow. "Is this your attempt to convince us that we shouldn't be friends with you because it'll cause trouble for us?" he asked, his spoon raised half way to his mouth.

Actually, that was what he was trying to do.

Muzan hesitated.

Kaigaku sighed, dropping his spoon and splashing some of the soup onto the table. "Drop that, it's seriously annoying. And you'd have to kill me to make me stop being your friend," he said. 

The word kill reverberated(?..) in Muzan's mind and he flinched. "But that's just it! I killed so many people in my past." 

Gyutaro gave him a look. "They're lying."

"They're not," Muzan whispered. He looked up, his eyes glazing over the worried faces of his friends. They didn't deserve having to deal with im. They deserved better. "You guys can go home... Take the food if you want. I'll see you later," he said, basically dismissing them.

Fuck, if he was going to be that rude he was better off dead anyways. 

Muzan didn't miss the way they looked at each other with worried gazes before nodding and getting ready to leave.

Gyutaro and Kaigaku filed out the door but Kokushibo stayed back. 

"Hey, uhm... Please don't do anything reckless, Muzan. If you need to speak to someone, I'm only one call away. I'll be here if you need me to be," he murmured, hugging Muzan tightly before closing the front door behind him.

And then Muzan was alone, feeling like he could feel the imprint of Kokushibo's arms around him still. He wished Kokushibo hadn't left. But it was better if he had, really.

Making up his mind, Muzan went up to his room and got his notebook and a pencil.

He wrote down quickly, writing a letter to each of his friends and his family. Once he finished, he read them all through, making sure that he hadn't made any mistakes and that he'd listed enough things to show that he did appreciate every little part of them.

He signed them all and folded them up into makeshift envelopes, taping them all shut. 

He went and slumped onto his bed, burying his face into his pillow. He would deliver them tomorrow.

~~~

The next day, as he'd promised himself, he went to his friend's houses, handing them the letter and telling them to read it in a few days time—his birthday, actually. 

They didn't really think much of it, especially since Kokushibo was the only one who knew his birthday and he probably didn't remember anyways. 

Muzan wouldn't have minded that, after all it didn't matter whether or not Kokushibo remembered.

By the time he opened the letter, it would be too late.

~~~

The next few days passed rather quickly and Muzan found himself in a sort of daze as he continued on. He was waiting for the last day, the day he could finally let his friends live in peace.

He found his most battered clothes—deciding his better ones could be given to people who needed them. He didn't need to wear his best clothes if he would just be wasting them by dying in them. 

He went out walking, ignoring all the stares he recieved. He had left a letter on his bed in case anyone bothered to look there. Solely a letter of thanks to his family—he'd already written them letters individually but he'd felt it wasn't enough.

It was early morning when he'd set out and so most people were asleep, although the occasional person was around. But when he finally arrived, the sun was already half way up.

He had to hurry, he didn't want them to read the letters before it was true.

He waded into the water, trembling at the coldness that hit his skin. 

No. He had no right to be cold when he'd made people suffer before. 

He clenched his teeth together and continued into the water, nearly tripping several times before he made it to the point that the water nearly reached his mouth. He held his head up high and bounded forward cautiously.

The water rose to his mouth and he could barely keep it from his nose as he started treading water, keeping himself upright.

He turned back to the town he'd grown up in, bobbing up long enough to murmur, "I'm sorry," before he closed his eyes and mouth, slipping under the water.

The cool water slipped around Muzan and he could feel it soaking into his body. He gave himself a couple seconds to change his mind before he let out a breath and opened his mouth, letting the water flow into his nose as well.

He resisted the urge to go back up, though it pained him to. He'd chosen this specifically because it would be the least messy—his body would just float out into the ocean or sink or something, and probably disintigrate eventually—and because it would still be painful to himself. He deserved more pain but he didn't know how else he'd do it since he wasn't particularily strong. Not now. 

He used to be. And he deserved every form of torture he'd ensued(the fact that i don't rlly know what this word is-) over everyone... and more.

And so, as Muzan felt himself slipping out of consciousness as the water flowed into him, he thought of everyone he ever knew—whether the experiences with them were pleasant or not—and thanked them. He apologized over and over as he slipped away from the world of the living.

~~~

Kokushibo was smiling to himself as he ate his breakfast, excited for today.

"Why are you so happy?" Yoriichi asked skeptically. 

He said nothing and continued eating, wondering how he might ask out Muzan.

He'd been planning for some time now and had decided, finally, to ask him out. Especially since it was Muzan's birthday. 

He felt that he wanted him to have the best day today since every other day had been absolute shit. And besides, he figured Muzan would say yes. He'd noticed him blushing around him so constantly. 

Yoriichi leaned on the table, looking annoyed. "By the way, are you going to open that letter Kibutsuji gave you? I heard he gave them to all of his friends," he commented, nodding to himself. "I overheard him telling you to open it today. Or are you smiling because of the letter?"

Kokushibo hadn't, in fact, opened it yet. He'd actually kinda forgotten about it in all his plans. "Right!" he said, abandoning his breakfast going back to his room.

Yoriichi sighed and watched him run upstairs. "He's in love, isn't he," he said to himself, grumbling.

Kokushibo opened the letter cautiously, noting how the paper looked a bit smudged with ink.

His eyes landed on the first words, smiling to himself as he was met with Muzan's handwriting. Willing himself to read it slowly and not only skim through it, he started down the letter, his smile wavering on his face for a while. But as he reached the middle of the paper, it slowly slipped away forming a frown in it's place. The frown deepened to a look of sheer horror and he dropped the letter as his eyes consumed the last word. 

He turned abruptly and ran back down, ignoring Yoriichi's questioning looks as he harshly pulled on his shoes and ran out the door in a panic.

Yoriichi glared at him. "What now? Has he gone to confess his love to him?" he said, sighing.

He went upstairs and picked up the letter which looked a bit crumpled at the bottom. He skimmed through it then placed it on the table. "Muzan is a fucking idiot," he said, following his brother's tracks downstairs and out the door.

~~~

Kokushibo knocked furiously at Muzan's door and the fact of a devestated woman met his. She was Muzan's mother. 

"Is... Muzan...?" Kokushibo whispered, dread swimming in his stomach.

She looked down. "He's... I think he left home early. He left a note on his bed... And he gave us each one a couple days ago," she mumbled, lifting a paper. It clearly said something different than Kokushibo's but he figured it had some sort of thanks and then apologies and then explanations as he glanced at it. 

His face fell and his arms wrapped around his stomach. "He's dead?" he said, his voice coming out cracked.

Muzan's mother flinched at that but Kokushibo was too preocupied to notice. Muzan was dead.

A hand was placed on his shoulder and he turned, numb inside.

Yoriichi gave the woman an apologetic look. "I'm sorry for you loss, Mrs.Kibutsuji. I'll... take my brother now," he said pulling Kokushibo away.

~~~

Kokushibo found himself in a park sitting next to Yoriichi who was glaring at the ground.

"Yorii?" he said hoarsely. 

Yoriichi glanced at him. "Hm?"

"Why did he die?"

He sighed. "He was worrying too much about you, I guess."

"But why? He had only to worry about himself! He didn't have to worry about me—us—anyone but himself! He was getting the threats. He was getting all of the hate and yet... he did this for us?? He didn't say once in the whole letter that he died because he couldn't handle it for himself anymore! He said it all because he was worried about the lashback on us!! He was worried about us when he should've worried about himself!!" Kokushibo spat, glaring at the ground. 

"Michi, he was a selfless fuck in this time. He used to be... otherwise, but he changed, I suppose." Yoriichi looked at his brother with a look of pity that had nothing to do with Muzan. "But he's gone and you can't change that or the reason for it."

"No!! He can't have died!!" Kokushibo looked up. "I can't let him die!" he decided, standing abruptly.

Yoriichi stood as well and his voice came out more of a command, "Kokushibo. I want you to sit down."

At the nickname—the name Michikatsu had heard most of from Muzan, he felt himself break. He sat down and Yoriichi stood in front of him with a stern look. 

"He's gone and you cannot change that. You can't change the fact that he was who he was. I need you to think about it. Just accept it. I don't care how hard it will be, but you have to accept it. You'll just pain yourself more if you don't." Yoriichi's eyes were narrowed in a glare but when his brother started to cry, his gaze softened. He wrapped his arms around MIchikatsu, feeling that he couldn't bear him to cry over so dead person. 

Michikatsu sobbed into Yoriichi's hug, letting himself pour out. "I was going to tell him I loved him," he said between hiccups. "I was... I was going to..." 

"Shh," Yoriichi murmured, "don't talk until you're ready."

And it was quite a few minutes until he was ready, but when he was, he rubbed at his eyes and looked up at his brother. 

"Today was his birthday," Michikatsu mumbled. "He... on his birthday. I'm sure he did that on purpose."

Yoriichi gave him a sympathetic look. "Perhaps he did. But we will never know. Why don't you... invite your friends over to our house? I'm sure they'll need some help through this as much as you do. Take yourselves through the process together, at least," he suggested.

Michikatsu had never known his brother to give Muzan any sort of proper acknowledgement and at that, he was surprised. But he nodded and stood, pretending not to notice all the people around them staring.

"Alright... Will you help me call them?" 

Yoriichi nodded. "Of course."

~~~

Dear Koku,

Or Michikatsu? Kokushibo? What do I call you? 

I always wanted to call you my lover.

I know it's quite sudden, but I really love you. I have hoped against hope that one day I could tell you. But I couldn't tell you when everybody was hating you for being my friend—and I feared their reaction if you were dating me. If you did like me, of course. 

But there was a reason I said nothing, and I apologize if it makes you uncomfortable knowing I've been crushing on you for a while now though you may not like me in that way at all.

I just found myself so deeply in love with you all the time and you were most likely one of the main reasons I've been able to make it quite so far in my life. 

I always loved how you were. How you act, how you talk, how you walk... everything. You were always just so beautiful to me. I'm sure others see you like this as well. How could they miss such and amazing person? 

I adore you with all my heart and my being and my mind. I want to stay here with you forever but I know that would only bring pain to you for being seen with me. I know you don't want to be targetted for knowing me as much as I don't want you to be hated on because I love you.

Yes... I love you. Too much for my heart to handle sometimes. You make me so happy and I want to live so much longer with you by my side.

But I can't.

I can't live, Koku. I want you, and everyone else, to be content. If me being dead brings happiness to people, then why not give them a time to be happy? 

I know how much you'd blame yourself for this though it was purely my own decision, so I need you to know that everything you've done for me has made me ever the most happiest person alive. I need you to know that you're worth everything, every breath, every smile, every little moment. So please keep living for me. Please don't blame yourself.

Make a life you can live in happiness with me gone now. Make a life you can grow up as someone known as the amazing Koku and not the Person Who Made Friends with Kibutsuji. Please be happy for... for anything you love. 

You're very dear to me, and I love you, Kokushibo. I love you so, so much. 

I promise to think of you till the very end.  

You may not see me anymore, but I promise that I'll be watching you. I'll make sure your life goes as heavenly as possible because you are heaven. You're the greatest person to exist. 

I love you, Michikatsu Tsugikuni.

I love you.

In hopes of your well being and greatest happiness, Muzan Kibutsuji.

{Word count: 4825}

I thought I had not motivation

Ig i lied to myself (my motivation always tends to come when i have to finish my hw the same day!!)

ngl this was both depressing to write and fun

and i hate it but i love it yk? 

[effervescentdragon]

happy bday @milflewis i fucking adore you youre literally my favourite. i couldnt sleep bcs this story kinda gripped me by the throat and you were complaining the other day, so i hope you enjoy <3 this is pure indulgence :)

"Are you ready, petit?" Charles asks. He is glowing in his dark red clothes and his golden mask, and he isn't even trying to conceal who he is for the masquerade. Arthur knows all eyes will be on Charles anyways, as they always are. Charled shines so bright, it gives both Arthur and Lorenzo more than enough shade to hide themselves if they wish to do so. Lolo usually does, and he will keep hiding for as long as he can, protecting them from the shadows. Arthur... is not sure he wishes to hide for much longer. "We are late already, and we should make an entrance. You know the Court loves a spectacle, and we should make sure their eyes are on us. We need their favour, still. At least for a while more."

Arthur also knows Charles cares only for one pair of eyes and one person's favour, and there is no guarantee Captain Vettel will even be there, with the Navy's assignments to the M-- Sea. He observes Charles' nervous movements, his hands flying to fix a stray lock of hair, and he can't help but feel pity for his brother. Charles loves so fully and so freely that his heartbreak is imminent. Arthur admires him for it, but he also wishes Charles followed his head more than his heart sometimes. He won't say anything; there is no sense to it. Charles will not listen.

"I will not be joining your dramatic entrance, Charles." Arthur forces himself to laugh carelessly, when his whole body feels like it is on fire. "The point of the masquerade is to conceal our identities, and that will be impossible if I were to walk in with you, Il Predestinato."

Charles blushes, and Arthur's laugh turns genuine. "Alright," Charles concedes, his eyes staring straight into Arthur's and seeing more than Arthur is comfortable with. "I know you have something planned, petit, and I know you will not tell me what. Just, be careful? Please? I worry for you."

Arthur swallows heavily. People like to underestimate Charles and his intelligence, but Arthur should know better. Charles taught him everything he knew after all.

"You need not worry, brother," he says softly. "Nothing important is on the line if my plan fails."

Charles does not really look like he believes him, bit he lets it go nonetheless. Arthur fixes his smile just like he fixes his mask, and does not pray for success. He will either make it himself, or he will not have it at all.

---

The masquerade ball is a raging success. Arthur basically sneaks in through the servants' entrance, determined to protect his anonymity. He watches Charles for a while, smiles at the way people fawn over him and the way Charles graces them all with his attention. Arthur could never do it; it is too grating, too exhausting, to be so adored. Merely observing his brother tires him out. He knows Charles is filling the empty space in his heart with these meaningless interactions, and if Arthur believed in gods, he would ask them only for the happiness for his brother. He does not, though, so he asks the universe for Charles' love not to be in vain. Charles needs support in a way that Arthur doesn't, because Arthur and Charles will always go for what they want even if it's doomed for failure, but the difference is that Arthur knows when to let go of a doomed quest. Charles does not.

It is past midnight and everyone's inhibitions are effectively gone. Arthur has danced with ladies and gentlemen both, and laughed at their inquiries about his identity. He even approached Charles and asked his brother for a dance, and Charles' eyes sparkled in mirth as he let Arthur lead him through the steps and he laughed freely as Arthur commented on the appearances and the gossip he's heard as he made his way through the people gathered for the festivities. When Charles faltered in his steps, about to ask a question, Arthur had only shook his head. I have not seen him, he tried to convey, and Charles gave him a sad smile of understanding before pulling Arthur in for another dance, against all decorum. Arthur let him lead, and they both delighted in the scandalous gasps they elicited.

Now, Arthur stands leaning against a column, unwilling to admit defeat. He will find who he is looking for tonight. He looks over the crowd as he sips his drink, and it is by divine grace or perhapd by magic that he hears the familiar laughter he had been searching for the whole night. He turns towards the sound and drinks the rest of his wine, leaving the glass on a table he passes.

The man who is laughing with two ladies wears a stylised fox mask, and Arthur cannot contain his amusement. He approaches the little group just as a server passes by him, and he vows to make it up to the poor man as he moves so that he can trip him. The man goes down in a heap, and both ladies yelp. The man's eyes narrow, but Arthur acts quickly. He grabs the man's hand and pulls, ducking behind a column and into a passageway he has discovered some time ago. The man puts up little resistance, and the commotion from behind them fades out somewhat.

The moment they are out of sight, Arthur finds himself pressed against the wall.

"Who are you, and what do you want from me?" Pierre Gasly asks, and Arthur would recognize that Rouen lilt even half-deaf. Just like he would recognize the blue of Pierre's eyes, their unnaturally bright colour emphasised by the dark-red edges of the fox mask he wears. "Answer me," Pierre commands, and Arthur thinks of how he would be glad to do whatever Pierre wanted him to. He knows he cannot say this, and he knows Pierre does not recognize him. The realisation both thrills and dejects him somewhat, for is he not more memorable? Should Pierre not know him, when they have spent almost as much time together as Pierre and Charles did in their youth and when it has not been less than two years since Pierre left on his assignment to the Navy?

Pierre is staring at him, his arm across Arthur's chest strong and unmoving. Arthur raises his hands and puts them on Pierre's forearm. His heart beats wildly in his throat when he says "A kiss."

Pierre blinks, twice. His eyes fall down to Arthur's lips, the only part of his face not covered by his own mask, and Arthur supresses a shiver when Pierre's eyes turn dark.

"A kiss?" he asks, and Arthur has always found Pierre's smirk stupidly attractive. "Only that?"

"Yes," Arthur replies, willing his voice not to shake. "Merely a kiss."

Pierre does not look away from Arthur's eyes, searching for something in them. "A kiss," he says contemplatively. He licks his lips. "I can do that."

Before Arthur can say anything, Pierre removes his arm from Arthur's chest and leans in. Arthur does not get a chance to react, for Pierre's lips are on his and oh - oh.

He raises his arms again and throws them over Pierre's shoulders, holds on as Pierre presses him into the wall even further. His body presses against Arthur's everywhere and his lips are wonderfully soft as they move against Arthur's. Arthur has his hands in Pierre's hair, and Pierre's hands press into the dips of Arthur's hips. They burn even through all the clothes, and Arthur lets himself enjoy the way Pierre feels. He is a good kisser, must have had a lot of practice which does not surprise Arthur in the least. He's wanted to kiss Pierre Gasly since he realised he wanted to kiss people in general, and he cannot begrudge anyone else who wished to do so, too. He isn't sure he will get another chance, though, so he vows to make the most of this kiss.

Pierre is the one who breaks off the kiss first. He groans and leans his forehead against Arthur's, his hands still pressing into Arthur's hips, his breathing ragged. Arthur's isn't much better, and he grasps at Pierre's shoulders and holds on, keeping his eyes closed, unwilling to speak and interrupt this moment.

"Merde," Pierre breathes against his lips. "I did not know - I could not have imagined - petit," Pierre says, and Arthur's eyes fly open in shock, because -

"Did you really think I would not know you?" Pierre asks, and Arthur cannot speak. "Did you think I would have forgotten you?"

Arthur looks into Pierre's eyes instead of focusing on his self-satisfied smile, and there is kindness in them, and desire which Arthur is sure is mirrored in his own face, or whatever is visible of it.

"I do not know what I thought," he whispers, "except that I wanted a kiss."

"And now that you've got it, what shall we do?" Pierre asks, and Arthur cannot help but roll his eyes.

"You are quite insufferable," he says without any malice. "Do you know that?"

"Oh, I know." Pierre smirks. "And you like it." Arthur hums noncommitaly, and Pierre chuckles. "And what if I wanted another kiss, Arthur?" He rubs the edge of his mask against Arthur's. "What then, petit?"

Arthur smiles despite himself, because dawn may bring whatever she wants, but this night belongs to Arthur and his victory.

"I think," he says very slowly, "that I would be amenable."

This time, Arthur is the one who reaches for Pierre first, and their kiss is even better this time because Arthur is quite certain it will not be the last one.

---

"And where is my brother?" Charles asks as he is following Sebastian outside for a respite. Sebastian, who had observed the way Arthur moved towards where Lieutenant Gasly was, only smiles.

"I saw him step away with a friend," he says, and Charles nods. "I believe he is in good hands, Charles. Do not fret."

Charles laughs, then shakes his head. "I do not believe I will ever cease to worry about my brother," he says, "but I also trust your word, Captain." He smiles, and Sebastian cannot berate himself for attending the masquerade when faced with that smile. "Do not let me down."

Sebastian bites back the words he wants to say, promises he wants to make and is not sure he would be able to keep, not with the kind of life he leads, and offers his hand to Charles.

"I will do my best," he says seriously.

"That is all I ever wanted from you," Charles replies, and puts his hand into Sebastian's.

[makethosenarratorsfight]

UNRELIABLE NARRATORS; SIDE C

Apollo/Lester Propaganda:

Bro thinks everyone is in love with him and only waiting for him to ask, to do anything he wants, but no one actually cares about him <3 He learns through the books, though

Gideon Nav Propaganda:

(Spoilers for Ht9) She just. Fully ignores most of the magic plot happening around her in the first boom to be a dyke. In the second book it’s even less reliable and it’s fully fucking insane. It’s first person but she’s telling YOU (harrow) what is happening and it’s impossible to decipher. The appearance and personality of every character is fully morphed by Gideon’s mean dykishness.

MASSIVE spoilers. Like even mentioning that this is a thing is a huge fucking spoiler. I normally don’t care about spoilers that much but I legitimately feel awful for anyone with even a passing interest in reading these books who has this spoiled for them. Anyway. Yeah turns out the second-person narration is actually a first-person narration by the dead girl living in Harrow’s head whose death traumatized Harrow (and the entire fandom) so badly that she literally lobotomized herself to forget it and give Gideon a chance at not having her soul digested.

constantly adds her own commentary, does not pay attention to the interesting moving parts of the plot bc she's too busy looking at pretty girls, cannot be trusted to read her own intentions correctly never mind anyone else's. I love her dearly

she just doesn’t notice or doesn’t give a shit about a ton of plot-essential information. Harrow and Palamedes are talking about a necromantic theorem that would blow open the entire story if we could hear them? You can instantly feel Gideon’s eyes glaze over and her mind wander to the nearest available hot girl, and our attention goes with her. It’s handled so smoothly that you might not even notice it happening until a second or third read.

More Propaganda under cut!

Gideon Nav is all but useless as a narrator, and we love her for it. So first of all, she knows absolutely nothing. She grew up under a rock. Almost literally. When the plot is happening near her, she almost never tells us about it. Politics, history, and the magic system are boring. Let her know when there's something she can FIGHT. She also has very selective emphasis and focus that can change a scene completely without ever actually lying. She can tell the same story—to us, in her third-person narration as a factual recounting—and in one version the incident will be a schoolyard scuffle, while a later telling will reveal it to have been a near-homicide. She'll confidently interpret other character's motivations and emotions, only to later be proven wrong. But the thing that makes her REALLY unreliable? She lies to HERSELF constantly. She will tell us in her narration that she doesn't give a shit where someone disappeared to, and then spend the whole day searching for them. She'll say she hates someone, when. Well....

okay so i am actually going to do one segment about her own book and one about harrow’s so many apologies and also many spoilers ahead okay? okay so in gideon the ninth it’s a well known thing that she’s an unreliable narrator on two fronts: she lies to herself and therefore us about how she’s feeling and what she’s thinking, and also she isn’t paying attention to the plot at all. the only things she pays any attention to are hot girls, swords, and hot girls with swords. at one point she watches their only way out be sealed off and is so bored about it that she goes to sleep watching it happen, taking absolutely no note of “oh hey they’re trapping us here”. later someone asks IN FRONT OF HER “hey where did all our shuttles go” and shes like “😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌” and still does not make the connection. babygirl. but THEN!!!!! in HARROW the ninth (MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD) gideon is the narrator the ENTIRE TIME (except for the revised canaan house parts) and not only does she editorialize, she also straight up lies about events and motivations! partially justified by her being inside harrow’s head, but like. babygirl. beloved. the interjections of “holy fuck” and “pommel” and othersuch things is so important to my mental health and wellbeing. thank you. thank you for lying to us so so much.

[enniewritesnsk]

Namseok potatoe #33

O!Hoseok is actually struggling because of this damn hedge.

Today he will finally meet his bethroted, A!Namjoon, who is said to have been cursed.

Apparently, the werewolf may be handsome during daylight, but once night comes, his horrible true nature appears which makes him go home in a hurry everytime he is attending some fancy parties. It is said that this is the reason why no omega wanted to marry him but the Kim family covered it until now with the excuse of "our heir is too young to get mated".

Well...

Until now?

Hoseok is the unlucky chosen one by he doesn't know what Odds. And being the good son of his parents, he just agreed with a smile... after all, them O! are just exchange money for their families to earn more power, right? They don't really have any word in mating affair right?

So yeah.

Here he is, trying to climb that hedge at night, wanting to have a glimpse of his fiancé.

He never met the lad, just saw some pictures of him but well...

it shouldn't be hard to spot some weird creature, right?

Then he hears someone clearing his throat behind him.

"May I help you?"

The deep voice just makes him shiver. He turns around and meet a beautiful man. He's tall, pleasing face and his eyes? Please??? Dragon shape one, just mesmerizing. And sniffling in the air, he can catch a light wood scent... ahhh A!...

"H-hi!" Hoseok stutters.

"What are you doing?" asks the Alpha.

Oh right! He has to catch his fiancé! He knows the guy often go for a walk at this hour, he's going to miss him! He'll admire the beautiful specimen next to him later. He turns back in front of the vegetal obstacle "can you help me please?"

"For what?" Asks the other, smirking, his curiosity now showing

"This is a secret, you can't repeat it, ok??" The O! says, lifting his index. "The heir of this house is said to be cursed. His true nature is shown at night. I need to know if my Fate is sealed with a monster or not!"

His interlocutor chuckles. "And what would you do if he's a total freak monster?"

"I will runaway of course!" Answers heartily Hoseok, turning his face to the guy. Moon! he's so handsome, look at his dimples when he smiles! why can't he be engaged to him instead?

"So now, can you /please/ help me? My contact told me that he goes for a walk every night here and I /need/ to see with my bare eyes how he looks like!"

The guy just shakes his head "no I can't..."

Hoseok pouts "and you would take the responsability to let my destiny linked to a monster?"

"Yeah. I can't..."

"But I'm an O! in distress. Don't you A! have to help O!in distress?" Hsk frowns.

"Well, yeah... but I can't here..." the unknown A! smiles. "Why?!" Asks Hoseok a little upset. The guy is handsome but must be definitely unsufferable. He feels sorry for the poor O! who is engaged to him.

The other A! just smiles with an air that doesn't mean anything good, right???

Right???

"Because I can't help my fiancé find an excuse to run away from our mating ceremony"

Oh...

Oh!

Turns out.

Namjoon just doesn't like parties and such. He knows he is the most wanted bachelor and it is just tiring to see all these families pushing their O! to try to seduce him. Just goes to these social gatherings because he has to, but once he has fulfilled his duty, would rather go home and read a good book on his comfy sofa in the quietness of his home.

Until the day his path crossed this oh so beautiful O!, so well mannered and bright like the sun. Not paying attention to him bc he was busy taking care of his little shy little brother who just entered the society. Trying to introduce him to werewolf of his age too... Namjoon felt in love that day.

And made all his possible to know more about the beautiful creature: Jung Hoseok.

Since that day,he was obsessed by him. Tried to be at every place the O! usually go in the hope to meet him and finally be introduced?

But then his parents decided that it was time for him to be engaged and suggested the Jung family?

He tried his best to choose the best courting gifts based on all the informations he gathered and the maids told him the O! was definitely happy with them.

And he hoped that his fiancé would fall for him just like he did months ago?

Don't worry though everyone!

Hoseok is definitely under the charm of his fiancé and after an uncomfortable moment, he will accept to take the hand the A! lend him and they will go for a walk, Namjoon giving him plant facts and the O! being totally whipped the more time he spends with his fiancé.

They will have a happy and harmonious union, filled with laugh and understanding and of course pretty puppies too because please have you seen their parents 🥺🥺🥺

[knwbetter]

day 7 of not talking to him: it's actually been a week, that's insane? i'm faring much better compared to the other days but guess what? i dreamt of him last night and he actually got me back to me in my dream and we were talking again and i felt giddy. only to find out that i was dreaming again. just when it starts to get better it's like i relapse again subconsciously. my dreams always betray me and it hurts like a mf. mom keeps asking me if i'm happy lately and i can't even say yes with my entire being bc some bastard broke my heart and trust. where did he get the guts to do that to me? was i really that easy and worth hurting?

i was rereading our chats again and there were definitely moments where he didn't reciprocate some of the things i said to him. i think he has an issue with being affectionate now that i'm looking at it and trying to analyze our conversations. he wasn't as sweet as i thought. like he can be but definitely not cutesy and affectionate. i think i was too blinded again by him. i wonder he thought of me the entire time i was falling for his trap? he literally lured me into his web. i feel like a fool, extremely stupid and helpless. my ego can't fucking take it. at the same time, i can't believe he took advantage of me by making an effort for me just to leave me hanging in the end. like what happened to the old you? he used to put in so much effort in talking to me, almost like he didn't sleep and now he can't even be bothered to talk to me. why the sudden change? what's more sus is that the change kind of began after i sent my picture. and after he said that he'd be star struck and that he already likes me for who i am. that i shouldn't stress too much about my appearance bc i'm already perfect. i guess his expectations were too high bc pulled away after that. or either was just playing with me from the beginning.

i was actually worried that he might have been doing this to other girls too but he said i was the first one. why do i feel like this isn't tho? now that i think about it it seems a bit too calculated but what do i know. after scouring his accounts i definitely became suspicious of him. he really broke my trust. i remember telling him too that i'd rather know him through him. i also remember him saying that he doesn't have anyone sus that he follows on tiktok but of course i didn't care about any of that bc i didn't bother to check his followings in the first place, scared in the back of mind that i see something i don't like. next time i should really do some research tho, i need to know everything as much as possible. i'm going to be spending the rest of my life potentially to this person after all.

i still keep thinking of him and i do miss him but there are definitely times where i gag and cringe thinking of how i behaved towards him. and how he was flirting with me but probably didn't mean it at all. how wrapped was i in his finger? how does he feel knowing i fell for his trap completely just to throw me to the side? did i get boring for him all of a sudden? it's crazy bc i showed my annoying and bad side to him yet he kept talking to me. was that the side that he liked? that's weird if so. also he was definitely the one to initiate first. i never ever initiated anything more than friendship. fucking weirdo. just to leave me in the end. how can he say things he doesn't mean? doesn't he know how fucked up that is? he really needs to fix his issues! it runs deeper than i thought. how could he say all that shit to me just to abandon me? did he not have any feelings in the first place? it's honestly so fucked up to me. i don't understand him. but that makes sense bc i don't know him at all. now i get why he doesn't have any friends, it all makes sense now. that's always not a good sign tbh. but i guess the good hearted person in me wanted to be there for him. i have a penchant for helping people like that. reminds me again of the line "you're not his therapist" like damn once i heard that it really clicked for me. i'm also not watching as much reels as before but it's probably bc i've been busy.

the effort i spent into looking and securing a job for the past week was insane, i did it all for him ngl. he lowkey gave me the strength bc i really wanted to see him in person somehow and now we're over. this might have been the push i needed but why did it have to be so messed up? i would've been good with something less painful. i randomly remember him asking me how i was doing and i said i'm okay. he replied "just okay?" and i still agreed. he then said "okay is better than bad so i'll accept it." bitch, as if i need your acceptance to be happy. i just pulled up our chats again and it was one of those times where he was being pushy about my pictures. he said as long it's me he'll be happy and that i have no clue. was that a tactic? pressuring me into showing him how i look like but with sweet and kind words. it's actually insane. how did i fall for that? i'll never cross my comfort again for a guy. i'll always follow my own pace, if he doesn't like it then he doesn't respect me and i have no need for someone like that. gotta have strong boundaries and communication the next time. also take it slow, fast is no good. that shit will die quickly. reminders to future self please!

lowkey i'm still waiting for him to text me back even if i see him differently now. will he even come back for me? he doesn't seem even the least bit interested anymore. when previously he used to bombard me with texts. can't believe i was stupid enough to trust him. i let down my walls for him and this is what i get. he basically confirmed what i was fearing. do i really want a guy like that? i told him my insecurities and other things i don't normally share. he was patient with my issues but maybe curiosity got the best of him instead of actually wanting to soothe me. i recall him offering to make me feel better whenever my anxiety kicks in. oh he has no idea how bad my anxiety is. i told you this for a reason for it isn't a light matter. i think he was caught off guard ngl. he can be sweet i'll tell you that, but he definitely has some self centered moments. sending me a revealing picture after i opened up about my anxiety? FUCKED UP. the emotional intelligence is nowhere to be seen. how he could think that would make me feel better is beyond me. once again highlighting why he has no friends + no meaningful relationships. i have a habit of psychoanalyzing people so he probably became like this bc of being bullied and moving when he was younger. i'm not sure if his relationship with his father was good either. definitely did not with his own twin which makes sense why he might be emotionally repressed or is unable to process his emotions properly. he might not have been used to receiving unconditional love and affection from his dad and twin. i have no idea about his mom, they seem close but no idea what their relationship was like growing up. these things are very important to know if you're into someone. their relationships with their family and their dynamic with each other can say a lot about a person. like things may be better now but the past can definitely mark and mold them to be the person they are today. i do remember asking him several times about his family but he didn't share the extent of their closeness with each other. i think he's mostly by himself. honestly i get why now, he's a bit weird. still absolutely immature, a lot of growing up to do mentally and emotionally. he still has some childlike qualities in him. i don't want to be with someone who behaves weird on the internet. that's a turn off and screams immaturity. idc if it's just for fun, it's not cool and mature. think really carefully before you speak and act is the advice i would give him.

[bellafragolina]

If you want to try coming up with your own ideas first, because it might influence your writing and thoughts you can skip until after you jot down some ideas.

But.

Offering ideas for happy endings like:

- Reversing the memory loss process through developing requited love. Like they didn't love them before, maybe only thought of them as a very nervous and somewhat weird friend, maybe even just friend of a friend, not realizing the reader had been crushing on them the whole time. Since reader is forgetting them and their crush on them, they become more confident and act more like themselves so the loved character gets to see while new sides of them which causes them to fall in love.

- Having fallen in love and learning of the memory loss too late and how to reverse the process, desperately thinking that maybe they should only to be stopped by reader who doesn't know why they care so much just that they do. And accepting that they'll just have make new memories from now on. (Because the mind forgets doesn't mean the feelings aren't still there.)

- Reincarnating into modern times which is very clearly for Warden Ingo or maybe Adaman if you chose him but i just love the idea that Ingo dies and but is actually sent back into his original time and finds reader's reincarnation and they both remember at the same time. Maybe a little bit of slow burn here for drama bc he tries to convince himself that's not possible but so many things are the same and reader technically wouldn't remember their past life immediately. Plus Ingo&Emmet reunion to make the ending a little sweeter.

Of course if it's adaman, they would both be reincarnated But obviously if you have another idea, you can do what you want. I'll love it no matter what because you come up with the most amazing things.

💙

And now!! For our second serving, may I present a Ingo-Less Emmet for all of you to enjoy!!

🍓🍓🍓

It started out as a coincidence. You happened to choose the same park to take your Pokémon as Emmet did to be alone, to sulk, and to let his own Pokémon (alongside Ingo's). He found you on the bench, cooing at a few Pokémon, and immediately his hoard were after you. So Emmet, forced to follow, sits down next to you.

It's slow going. At first, there's not much conversation had besides small talk about the Pokémon. You don't appear to know who Emmet is, nor do you know what happened. So you don't treat Emmet any differently than anyone else, and it's refreshing. So Emmet finds himself opening up to you slowly but surely.

He avoids specifics, but he does tell you about what he's going through, how his brother is gone and now he's without a half of himself he's had all his life, until now. You comfort him, and from you, it feels different. Emmet latches onto the comfort you bring, and soon your once a week meet ups become longer and longer, until you're spending the entire day into the night together.

And Emmet falls fast. And Emmet falls hard. He desperately relies on you, perhaps to an even unhealthy amount, but how can he not? You give him a happiness he hasn't felt since Ingo disappeared. He clings to you whenever he can, looks forward to your meet ups more than anything else. But as much as he loves you, he knows he can't be with you. Not without telling you the truth. Not without you realizing who he is, and everything changing.

Besides, he knows you don't feel the same.

The frequency of the meet ups imprint upon the Pokémon. Chandelure, Eelektross, Garvantula, Excadrill, all of them drag Emmet to the same park even as his memory starts to fail, forcing him to forget the pain of loving you silently. He becomes quieter and more withdrawn as you sit together, scaring you as he appears to be losing sleep and stop eating consistently. But he stops responding as much to your prompts at conversation, so things fall into awkward silence.

"I am Emmet," he says, out of the blue one day, "and I don't know why I come here."

"Emmet?" You ask, confused.

"I come here every weekend," Emmet continues, staring off blankly towards where the Pokémon wrestle around, "and you are here. And our Pokémon play. Do we. . . know one another?"

You know this isn't normal. You know this is probably a side effect of the grief. After showing Emmet proof that you do indeed know one another, and quite well, Emmet agrees to see a doctor. And what they say shocks Emmet to the core.

Forgotten Love Syndrome. Emmet marvels the pictures of you he has in his phone. You're indeed attractive, but who are you that he was able to fall for you even in this state of grief?

Emmet doesn't stop going to the park to meet with you. He's cautious, but so curious. He eagerly agrees to sit with you, listens to you tell stories of what you've both done before, with the Pokémon concurring your tales, even the embarrassing ones about Emmet himself.

It's easy, Emmet realizes, marveling up at you as you laugh and chatter on about some mishap you both had. You ease his pain, his loneliness, and help him feel. . . not quite whole, but less hollow. Emmet listens to your voice, closing his eyes, and rests his head on your shoulder. You don't waver, and he smiles to himself, soft and calm.

And this continues once again. Emmet falls just as fast as he did before, but he doesn't get another chance to worry and forget. You approach him, confusion marring your features, and force out words off a thick tongue.

"I love you." You say, visibly about to faint. Emmet reaches for you, eyes wide. "I-I love you, but I know you don't feel the same anymore, but I'm starting to forget too, Emmet, and I can't forget-"

Emmet hits the ground before you can say anymore. With a shriek, you cradle him in your arms, panicked over what's happening. Emmet all but crawls into you skin, pressing as close to you as he can get as he writhes in the pain of overflowing memories.

He remembers, all of it, even the embarrassing things he swore you were making up. It comes back to him like a film before his eyes, and it makes him laugh. It makes him cry. It makes him cling to you and beg you to never leave him, please. Promise you'll stay, he loves you too much to lose you.

You seal the promise with a kiss.

🍓🍓🍓

ta-da!! a happy ending for our sad boi emmet!! i hope you enjoyed it, lovely! have a wonderful day!!

~Renee

[beomglocks]

5:46 pm with dad!beomgyu

summary: dad!beomgyu tries face painting

pairing: dad!beomgyu

warnings & other: none, fluff, one or two curses?, dad!beomgyu bc why the hell not at this point, not proofread

w/c : 1029

"baby get in the bath before your mom comes home, you know how she gets," beomgyu mumbles the last part. "but adrian doesn't have to shower," your 6 year old daughter pouts at her father.

"no pouting baby, he already showered," beomgyu sighs. somewhere in another room, the 6 and a half year old laughs at his sister. raya frowns as she kicks the floor dejectedly. the face paint that her father applied is starting to chip off from being dried for too long.

"that's not fair," she sniffles. beomgyu subtly rolls his eyes. "i had to watch you guys today, nothing is fair raya."

"can we please just do one more face paint pleeease," she drawls out the please because she knows no matter how much of a hard ass her father pretends to be, he's a sucker for his children. "one more face paint?!" adrian perks up at the suggestion.

beomgyu wants to facepalm. "no young man, you're already clean," he scolds. "but that's not fair.." adrian challenges. raya sticks her tongue out at her brother who, in retaliation, punches her arm.

"daddy adrian punched me!" raya pouts as she raises her eyebrows, waiting for her brother's scolding. "she sticked her tongue out first!" adrian folds his arms, believing himself to be justified.

"hey no punching..or sticking tongues out," beomgyu scolds. "look if we do one more you have to promise to help me clean all the mess up.. i don't want your mom coming home and throwing a fit," beomgyu mumbles to his children.

he sticks out both of his pinky fingers and the kids intertwine theirs with his. "we promise!"

sooner than later, beomgyu whips out the cheap face paints that they all used earlier. "be nice to each other," beomgyu says, as he plans to take a nap while they play. "but daddy..." raya pouts. "no pouting," beomgyu reminds.

"can you play with us pleeease?" she blinks up at her father. adrian also picks at his fingers, not willing to beg but hopeful for their father to play with them.

this is how beomgyu finds himself sat in between his two children. adrian attempts to do face painting while raya does pigtails on her father's long hair. "daddy's gonna look so pretty for when mommy comes home!" raya assures. in his mind, beomgyu hopes he can wipe off the mess on his face before you arrive.

it was supposed to just be a chill night with a little more fun if you weren't tired from work. he doubts he could put the kids down tonight successfully for some time alone with you, at this point he's wishing on a star.

raya leans down over beomgyu's shoulder to peek at adrian's work. beomgyu has his eyes closed so he's not sure what adrian has done to his face yet. "how bad is it," beomgyu jokes.

raya gasps dramatically, letting go of her father's hair. "adrian! you're supposed to make daddy look pretty not like a monster!" she pouts at her brother's work. "a monster?" beomgyu raises his eyebrow at hearing this.

"raya i didn't say anything about what you did, so leave me alone!" adrian puts the face paints down in frustration. "alright alright that's enough, its my turn to paint you guys," beomgyu opens his eyes, smiling at his kids.

hours later you open the door with a heavy sigh. of course, today had to be one of the heaviest workload days. you couldn't wait to just lay down with beomgyu while he eased your stress as always.

"mommy's home!" you announce, urging your children and husband to appear out of the woodwork. as if on cue, raya comes running around the corner to hug you. "mommy!" she hugs you tightly.

"my baby," you hum into her hair. you detach her body from yours to scan her face. you're sure there's supposed to be a character of some sort drawn on her face but it all just looks like a muddled mess of colors.

"oh..who did this to my baby's face.." you pout at her. "does it look pretty? daddy did it!" she smiles brightly at you. you don't have the heart to tell her that her father set her up with this random assortment of colors on her face because she's just too cute.

"mommy!" adrian comes crashing into you at full force which causes you to stumble back a bit. "woah sweetie be careful," you chuckle. "yeah be careful!" raya hugs you protectively. "raya," you warn. she looks down with a pout and adrian smiles up at you.

"oh look at your precious faces, daddy's in big trouble when i see him," you laugh. adrian points enthusiastically to the living room, running in that direction. "i'm gonna go wash my hands and wash your faces please."

while you wash your hands you feel the presence of someone hug you from behind and you sigh. "i missed you so fucking much today," beomgyu mumbles into your neck. "they looked like they had fun," you chuckle lightly. "they're demons, seriously just like you," he jokes, kissing your neck.

you turn around to tell him off but when you see the paint on his face and pigtails in his hair you can't help bursting out in laughter. "they got you good baby." you can tell the kids fought over who got to draw where on their father's face.

there's so much smudged paint that you can barely make out what's supposed to be an actual drawing. raya clearly tried to wipe off adrian's poorly written 'dumy' on beomgyu's forehead and the smudged mustache making it look more like a 5 o clock shadow than anything else. meanwhile, the different sized butterflies on your husband's cheeks and pink eyeliner moment told you that raya had more fun than anyone else.

"are you turned off or something, don't be mean this is our kids being creative," he holds your waist and leans you back against the counter. "beomgyu i 100% would not fuck you with this on your face..'dumy'," you laugh.

"maybe the drawings of a third kid will make it better?"

[blackberry-gingham]

For the ask game… our boy toad?

Yes! Let's give him another go lol

Favorite thing

Another one for the personality aspect tbh. He's very shy most of the time, but he can be assertive when he wants to be, so lots to play with when writing him which I like. However, I will say that his appearance is what drew me in at the very start, so maybe that.

I have no excuse here, I just like stereotypical looking British guys with the long face and huge, sad eyes combo 😪

Least favorite thing

The way that he's treated in comics and most media hnnnng. He's always someone else's clown or plot device, never his own person. Like.... NEVER. I get it, someone needs to be the henchman I guess- but this is just relentless sksksksk I'd like to see him with a moment of triumph or even redemption sometime.

At his core, he's really not a bad guy, he's just so severely rejected by literally everyone else, he feels like he has no choice but to play the villain half the time

Favorite Line

This is always hard for me bc 1) I never really pay close attention to lines and 2) I haven't actually consumed much content with Toad in it bc I don't usually like how he's represented ksskssk I did like his line in the Wolverine school comic or whatever where when he's asked what he had to say in his defense for all the shit with the hellfire club attack he says "All I did, I did for love"

It sticks out to me bc it shows he has at least something of a poetic or intellectual side, aside from the fact that he's actually very caring, perhaps even empathetic towards a romantic partner. It's also extremely fucking sad bc it goes to show how he's so easily manipulated all the time, considering he'll do quite literally ANYTHING to get his targeted person(s) to like him even just a little, but yeah

brOTP

Nightcrawler, for reasons you can read on my previous ask in this game lol, but also Spiderman. I just feel like he and peter have that "smart kid outcast" vibe together

OTP

I think I'm going to have to unironically say me again for this one skskkss Literally no one in the comics can be bothered to give even a FRACTION of a legitimate fuck about him, so 😔😪

nOTP

Again, also an unironic pretty much everyone but me. See above

Random HC

This is a headcannon that I can also back up with science to make a case for why it should be canon, but: Toad's toxin is so insanely powerful that, if the proper conditions were made available, he could kill guys with the regen power of even Wolverine with it, making him actually one of the deadliest, most dangerous mutants to live. However, he either doesn't even know this about himself, or refuses to take advantage of it. Like I said, he's not ACTUALLY villain

Unpopular opinion

I'm pretty sure last time I said that I find the x-men evolution version of toad actually kind of annoying, so idk if that counts if I say it again, but yeah.

Oh, someone was upset once when I said that his NEURO-toxin is potent enough to kill wolverine, sabretooth, or deadpool for good, even tho I, again, have air tight science to back me up on it- so there's that one ig lol. Their argument was a whole bunch of stuff, but at the very start they said that "unless his poison was somehow attacking the brain first, there's no way he could kill any of these characters bc Blah blah blah"

But guess what organ a NUERO toxin attacks first tho. Go on, guess.

Song I associate

You're going to have to pry my association between Toad and Liam Gallagher from my cold, dead hands lmao. I'll never not associate an Oasis song with him primarily- Lately I'm feeling either Rockin' Chair or Fade Away both off of The Masterplan album

The former has a line like "I'm older then I wish to be, this town holds no more for me" and the latter "While we are living, the dreams we have as children fade away". Basically just giving up on happiness and being disillusioned with life, both very accurate to his sentiments as a character

Favorite Picture

Idk my dude lmao. I like how he looks in contest of champions, the days of future past movie, and how he looks in that comic arc I was talking about with his quote, but only the ones where he actually looks like a person and not a little gremlin ksksks

Most of my own art of him I like as well, but that might just be me lol

[b612sunsets]

Here I am again with my TDJ conspiracy theories 🤡

This time I want to touch on two subjects/theories that I've seen a lot on Twitter and Reddit and I'd like to offer my own input. The first one is:

Yohan invited Gaon to the event with him because he wanted to see if the people that were in the church fire would remember Isaac when seeing Gaon's face and make any comment on it, so it would justify and reinforce his reason for revenge because none of them cared enough to remember the face of the person that almost donated his money to them and was left behind to die.

Alright, it could be, but I'm not convinced because of one simple reason: these people already saw Gaon's face on national TV through the live court trials and were aware of his existence since episode 1. So Yohan would already have his answer to that because he talked to each one of them in some scene or other after Gaon's face was in two of the trials and no one said a thing about it, he wouldn't need to confirm it again. I think the reason he invited Gaon to accompany him was explained in the car by Yohan himself and he just wants Gaon to stay close and where he wants Gaon to be (by his side) as soon as he can.

The second topic is about the homoerotic vibes of TDJ.

Some people are afraid of our lawful husbands being related and some are saying they would drop the show even if they aren't related because "it does seem to have something there but it would be weird AF if it turned out to have something romantic between them because Gaon is Yohan's brother spitted image."

True and I understand, to some extent. BUT.

He's not Yohan's relative as of right now (unless said otherwise and I can only hope I'm not wrong but who knows), they don't share the same blood. In my opinion Gaon is just a doppelganger, it wouldn't be the first time it happens in kdramas, it's pretty common actually and that's why not even Gaon reacted to it when seeing Isaac's picture. The only people that seemed to comment on it were the ones who were close to Isaac and would be affected to some degree in a good or bad way (Yohan, Elijah and the nanny) but it still wasn't portrayed as a big deal enough to make them question it any further or have scenes of them screaming and thinking Gaon is Isaac's ghost, twin or son. They quickly get used to that and move on, it doesn't look like an opportunity for a plot twist of Gaon being part of the Kang family by this point or they're committing serious plot holes already bc c'mon, at least Gaon should have said something about it too and feel the urge to find out the reason why he has the same face as Isaac.

Now, if we consider that I am right and they're not related by blood, it wouldn't be that weird for Yohan to feel attracted to someone that reminds him of a close relative that was essentially his parental figure when his real father didn't want anything to do with him. Why? Oedipus Complex. A psychoanalytic theory that some people end up marrying other people who resemble their parents, parental figure or anyone that helped raise them/was some kind of constant presence from early days in their life (the original theory is too heteronormative/outdated in my opinion, so I said it with my own words and vision, but I'm no psychologist, I can be wrong. I hope the general idea is what counts for the subject discussed here).

It doesn’t mean anything gross. If you love someone, you normally think their traits are good and attractive. Isaac practically raised Yohan, it doesn't mean Yohan feels sexual attraction for his brother but that his brother "brainwashed" him into thinking that his physical appearance and/or personality would be a good trait in any type of relationship.

For example, If you have a good father/mother and they have a nice relationship with each other, you will most likely want to have the same thing they have and find someone like one or both of them to make it work for you like it worked for them. It would make Yohan feel comfortable around Gaon and relax enough to maybe feel more than something platonic, like a romantic/sexual attraction too.

On the other hand, when answering this ask I mention the book by Yohan's feet after he narrates his story to Gaon. The book is called The God of Small Things and I researched about it's plot and ending. Don't read my next words if you pretend to read this book someday and don't want any spoilers.

Three things stand out to me from the wikipedia page:

It is a story about the childhood experiences of fraternal twins whose lives are destroyed by the "Love Laws" that lay down "who should be loved, and how. And how much." The book explores how the small things affect people's behavior and their lives.

The book starts at their "present year" with questions of what happened with the characters and the situations they are in, and the story goes all the way back through the years and ends in the year where it should have been the real start of the book, when everything was fine and happy. There's a lot of family problems, conflicts, abuse, forbidden love and an accidental death to say the least.

Ammu (their mother) blames the twins for her misfortune and calls them "millstones around her neck". Distraught, Rahel and Estha (the name of the twins) decide to run away. Their cousin, Sophie also joins them. During the night, as they try to reach an abandoned house across the river, their boat capsizes and Sophie drowns. When Margaret and Chacko return from a trip, they see Sophie's body laid out on the sofa.

The aunt of the twins and let's say "the main villain" in the book, accused falsely a person she hated for petty reasons as the one that killed Sophie and by doing so, she ends up involving all the characters in the mess and making everyone lie and pay the consequences in her place because she only cares about herself and doesn't want to take the blame. Sophie made me think of Isaac and the aunt would be the villains and powerful people who play with the law, deceiving everyone in the Dystopia.

Anyway, the twins were separated after the whole mess and reunited years later. And guess what? Be warned, it's disturbing.

Rahel and Estha, now 31, are reunited for the first time since they were children. They had been haunted by their guilt and their grief-ridden pasts. It becomes apparent that neither twin ever found another person who understood them in the way they understand each other. Toward the end of the novel, the twins have sex.

Yikes. 😬

Yes, incest happens in the book. But like I said earlier, I don't think it's the case for TDJ. Excluding this part, this description of the twins screamed Yohan and Gaon to me. Yohan, who after years of his brother's passing, reunited with someone that is just like him in many ways. Both are haunted by guilt and grief of their pasts, they share the same hate for powerful people that ruined their lives and took away the person/family they had. They understand each other like no one else can. If that means they will have a romantic closeness too, we will have to wait and find out... after all The Devil Judge is categorized under lgbt on iqiyi and:

At the end of the day theories are just that: theories, it doesn't mean I'm right or it's the truth. I might laugh at myself in the future when reading this again after the show ends. 😂

With that, I rest my case.

[helloalycia]

worth the wait [one] // daisy johnson

summary: when your best friend, Skye, keeps running away from home, you're left to deal with the consequences, but then one day, she doesn't come back.

warning/s: mentions of unwanted foster kids

author’s note: this is a five parter and each chapter is quite long bc i got carried away. i've literally been working on this for so long so i hope there's still some daisy johnson stans out there to appreciate this!

part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | masterlist | wattpad

"She's the only person she talks to... doesn't listen to anyone... just try..."

I twiddled my thumbs as I refrained from rolling my eyes. Mr Lock was pretty stupid if he thought I couldn't hear him with the door slightly ajar.

"...can't do much... good student?"

"She'll tell you what she knows," I heard Mr Lock say more clearly, to the police officer, before the door got pushed open.

I glanced at him as he feigned a smile for my sake, making his way over to his desk and sitting opposite me. The police officer followed after him, taking a seat at the edge of the desk and watching me with curious eyes like she was studying my every move.

"As you are probably aware, Miss Y/L/N, your friend Skye has gone missing," Mr Lock began to explain. "Her foster family have tried contacting her, but they can't find her."

I felt nervous with the police officer watching me, trying not to glance her way for fear she'd know I was hiding something.

"We just want to bring her home safely," Mr Lock continued. "And you're the closest person to her."

It wasn't a question – he knew I was the closest person to her. We'd done this back and forth many times before, every time Skye decided to run away. And it didn't get any easier.

I swallowed hard. "If you're asking me if I know where she is, I can promise you I don't."

Technically I wasn't lying, so that wasn't too much of a stretch.

"Have you had any contact with her since yesterday morning?" the police officer asked.

I shook my head and tried to ignore how warm I was getting. "I usually meet her by the entrance before class, but she wasn't there. I thought she was just pulling a sick day or something."

The officer hummed in response and the way she didn't give away what she was thinking didn't help with my nerves.

"So, you know nothing of Skye's disappearance?" Mr Lock asked with a raised eyebrow. "Anything you can tell us will be greatly appreciated. Her family just want her home and we all want her to be safe. You know the drill."

"I want that, too," I lied as confidently as I could. "You know she's done this before... she'll come back. She always does."

Mr Lock sighed and rested his head in his hands; he was clearly exhausted from having this same chat with me every few months Skye decided to leave.

"I think that's everything," the police officer said, before standing up straight. She glanced at me, adding, "Thank you for your cooperation. Please let your teacher know if you hear anything from her."

I nodded awkwardly. "Will do."

Mr Lock stood up, hand on his hip with mild frustration. He nodded my way and waved a hand dismissively. "Okay, you can go now, Y/N. Back to class, go on."

I nodded and looked between them both before grabbing my backpack and heading to the door. I could hear them talking quietly though, and felt mildly guilty for lying.

"...does this regularly now," the police officer was saying. "She'll turn up."

"She's wasting our time," Mr Lock was mumbling. "She always does this and for what?"

I sighed inwardly before leaving his office and heading back to class. I continued on with my school day as normal, up until lunchtime when I got a message from Skye herself.

Heading to the toilets to ensure nobody would see me, I slipped into a cubicle and pulled out the burner phone Skye gave me the first time she ever ran away a few years ago. She was always cautious of being caught out but still wanted to be able to contact me, so this was her solution. I didn't argue it as I only ever wanted to make sure she was okay and I could at least talk to her.

She'd texted me, it reading: Meet me by the ice cream truck in the park after school.

I was relieved to know she was okay, since it was the first text she'd sent me since she left yesterday morning. But it was frustrating that she'd disregarded my many concerned texts before that.

With a huff, I replied: I'm doing good, thanks for asking. You could've texted sooner, Skye.

It took a moment before she responded. Sorry, mom

I rolled my eyes, knowing she'd have that annoyingly cute smile on her face as she texted from wherever the hell she was.

Another text came through from her. Sorry I didn't reply sooner. Everything cool with the cops?

I sighed and hastily replied: Everything is as cool as it can be. I'll talk to you later when I see you. You safe?

Every time she left, she came back without a scratch to my relief, but it didn't make me feel any better when she would leave again and again. Running was her way of rebelling against everything – the countless foster families she went through, the teachers who ridiculed her, the other students who judged her. I didn't know where she went – it would change every time and I was sure she was making it up to make me feel better – but I covered for her because I cared about her and didn't want her to push me away like she did with everyone else. It was getting old though.

Her text came through and the heaviness on my shoulders lifted with relief. I'm always safe. But thanks for caring.

I always care. You know that.

I do. I'll see you later, Y/N. Love you.

I love you, too. See you later.

She stopped responding and I put the phone away before taking a deep breath. Seventeen and Skye had me feeling like a soldier's wife at freakin' war. She was gonna give me a heart attack one of these days.

—

"Over here."

I spun around and felt my racing heart calm down when I saw the familiar teasing smile of Skye watching me behind the abandoned ice cream truck.

"You're okay," I breathed out with relief before moving forward and pulling her in for a tight hug.

She laughed but wrapped her arms around me, squeezing gently. "I always am, I told you."

I refrained from rolling my eyes as I pulled away, meeting her gaze. "I'll always worry, Skye."

Momentarily, her playful demeanour disappeared and was replaced with something genuine. "I know... sorry. Thanks for coming."

I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. "Skye, you can't keep running away like this. Mr Lock called me in again. Thinks I know where you are. Says your family are worried."

Skye snorted as she took a seat on the bench nearby. "They're probably throwing a party in my absence. This is just protocol for them. All of them."

I watched her with a pitiful gaze before taking a seat next to her. "The police came again."

"But you covered, right?" Skye asked with a quirked brow.

"Obviously," I said, making her smile, but I didn't return it. "I hate lying to them. It makes me feel... dirty."

"It's not like you're hiding the location of a war criminal, Y/N, chill," she teased, patting my knee.

"Where were you this time?" I asked, afraid to know the answer.

A grin appeared on her lips with remembrance as she reached into her backpack, pulling out a laptop.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Where d'you get that?" 

She seemed proud as she said, "I won it in a bet."

"Skye!"

"What? It was fair play and I happened to win," she said with a shrug.

I facepalmed. "Skye, if you needed a laptop, you should've asked. I could have asked my parents or– or– I don't know–"

"What? Fundraised for the poor foster girl in class who can't buy a laptop like everyone else?" she cut me off bitterly, before replacing the laptop in her bag. "I'd rather not."

I frowned, moving to rest a hand on her back, but she shook me off harshly before standing up.

"Skye, I didn't mean it like that," I said apologetically, standing up, too. "I just meant– I could have helped. I want to help. I don't want you to have to make bets to get stuff. I just want you to be safe."

Skye and I becoming friends was something I never could have seen coming, but when we were partnered in science class in middle school, we kind of just fell into each other's lives. I knew of her situation with her many foster families and always knew she deserved better. Sometimes though, I think she felt the difference in our lives when it came to little things like buying stuff, and I hated it.

"Skye–"

"It's okay," she interrupted, glancing at me with sad eyes. "I know you want to help. But I'm okay."

Treading carefully, I asked, "Where did you go then?"

She ran a hand through her hair. "Library."

I narrowed my eyes. "You expect me to believe that?"

She met my eyes and shrugged. "You don't have to, but it's the truth."

I couldn't be bothered arguing with her, so I simply played along. "Fine. You went to the library and won a bet with someone, getting their laptop."

"Exactly."

I gave her a knowing look. "When are you coming back? To school?"

She was about to respond, but her phone vibrated and she checked it quickly, her eyes lighting up. I tried not to roll my eyes at her change of mood, not wanting to imagine the bond she'd made with her new friends.

She finally answered. "A few days, I promise."

It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing, so I nodded. "Okay. A few days. You'll keep in touch though, yeah?"

"I will, I promise," she said with a small smile before moving forward and hugging me tightly. "Thanks, Y/N."

I sighed but returned her hug, knowing I couldn't stay mad at her for long. "Just please take care of yourself, Skye. And if you need anything – and I mean anything – just ask. Unfortunately, I have a soft spot for your dumbass."

She laughed and admittedly, my stomach did somersaults at the sound. She pulled away but kept within arm's reach, allowing me to see the honesty shining in her brown eyes.

"I'll see you in a few days," she promised. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I replied, watching as she stepped back to leave.

She sent a final smile my way before running away, leaving me standing there alone and with a worried heart.

"More than you'll know," I muttered to myself, knowing I could never tell her how I truly felt.

—

"Won't your mum kill you for this?"

I shrugged, leading Skye through the the party-goers and to the kitchen where the drinks were. "She's okay with it because she knows I'm responsible. Plus, I promised her I wouldn't get drunk."

Skye let out a laugh. "Right. You're at a high school party and you're not gonna drink. That's totally happening."

I poured myself and Skye a drink as I quirked a brow. "I never said I wasn't going to drink. Just that I wouldn't get drunk. There's a difference, Skye."

She seemed impressed as she nodded. "Sneaky."

I was invited to this party by some girl in class and thought it would be nice for Skye and I to go to since it had been a while since we'd hung out. She didn't want to go at first, but after a little convincing on my end, she joined me.

We ended up staying there for about an hour when Skye needed to go to the bathroom and I decided to grab a snack from the kitchen. As I was browsing the bowls and considering whether I wanted to risk grabbing food from a shared bowl, I felt someone tap my shoulder from behind me.

When I turned, I was surprised to see a very tall guy stood there with a smirk on his face.

"It's Y/N, right?" he began the conversation, before suddenly raising his hand and reaching for something in my hair. "Sorry, you had some fluff there."

I smiled awkwardly and pushed my hair behind my ear. "Er, thanks. Yeah, I'm Y/N. I'm sorry, I don't think I recognise you."

He shook his head. "I didn't think you would. We don't go to the same school. I saw you walking around and thought I'd introduce myself."

"Oh, er..." I didn't know what to say as I wasn't really interested in his clear advances.

"Can I get you a drink?" he asked suddenly, still smirking at me.

"I already have one," I said conclusively, before aiming to move past him, but he put his arm in the way. I looked at it before raising my eyebrow at him. "You gonna let me go?"

He snickered. "Come on, just let me get you a drink."

"I'm not interested," I told him straightforwardly before attempting to make another move, but he pushed me back gently. "Dude, come on."

"What's one drink gonna do?" he asked persistently (and annoyingly).

"I–"

"She said back off," another voice came out of nowhere, and suddenly Skye appeared and pushed the guy back harshly, stepping between us.

"Skye, I–" I began, but the guy was already glaring down at her with a fake smile on his lips.

"Or what?" he asked rhetorically.

She returned his glare and said nothing. I rested a hand on her arm and tried to tug her backwards, but she wasn't moving. Always the stubborn one.

"What are you gonna do, Skye?" he repeated with bitter humour. "You gonna call the cops? I heard they know you pretty well by now, don't they?"

"Don't speak to her like that," I said angrily, glaring at him.

He began to laugh, shaking his head, before finally walking away. I released a deep breath and watched as Skye turned around to face me.

"Are you alright?" I asked her gently, resting a hand on her arm as I found her eyes.

"Are you?" she countered, looking over me with concern. "That guy was a jackass."

"He was, but I had it under control," I said with reassurance, before downing the rest of my drink and throwing the cup in the bin. "You didn't need to step in."

"Uh, yeah, I did," she said, stepping in my line of sight. "He was a creep."

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Okay, Skye, whatever you say. Thank you."

"You're welcome, now can we leave?"

I shoved her in the shoulder slightly. "We're not leaving. Not yet anyway. There's a foosball table in the other room I wanna play with and you're playing, too."

She sighed dramatically. "Fine."

I grinned at her before dragging her to the other room by her hand.

Another hour passed when I unfortunately began to feel the effects of my drink that I later came to learn was spiked by the arsehole who tried to hit on me. I wasn't particularly aware of my actions, otherwise I definitely wouldn't have done nor said half the things I did. Things like playing beer pong for the third time in a row and losing every game.

"It's just me an' you, Y/L/N," Kate, the girl I was playing with, said as we both a had a cup left. "Think you can win?"

I laughed as I rolled the ball between my fingers. "Third time's the charm...?"

The group of teenagers around us watched with anticipation as I aimed the shot up in my mind. It wasn't exactly helpful that I could barely stand up straight and my eyes were crossing over, making the cup move around slowly.

"One... two... three...," I counted down, before tossing the ball and watching it bounce off the side of the table and onto the floor. "Well, shit."

Everybody laughed as I ran a hand through my hair. Kate chuckled before grabbing the ball and lining it up. Miles better than I did, she aimed quickly and got it in the cup in one shot, resulting in cheers from everyone. I laughed and grabbed the cup, eyeballing the beer. I wasn't really a fan of beer, but a game was a game.

I downed the cup and pulled a face at how disgusting it tasted, before tossing the cup on the floor. I pushed away from the table I was leaning on, before falling back and hitting the floor, butt-first. I giggled to myself as I tried to stand up, but with great difficulty.

"Y/N, there you are!"

I looked up and lit up when I saw none other than Skye standing above me. She bent down and grabbed my hands before helping me stand up. I stumbled into her, but thankfully she caught my weight and let me lean on her for support.

"How did you get drunk so quickly?" she asked with surprise, leading me to the front door. "I've literally been with you. Until you ditched me twenty minutes ago which wasn't cool since I only came to this stupid party because of you."

I laughed. "I'm sorry. I saw the ping pong table and couldn't resist."

She sighed to herself before leading me outside. "You smell like alcohol."

"That's because I had some," I whispered not-so-quietly in her ear, before erupting into giggles.

"I gotta get you home," she mumbled, before searching my pockets. "Where are your keys?"

"My mum is gonna k-kill me," I realised, but a dopey smile was on my lips. "You have to sleepover."

She found my keys and began leading me to my car. "I'm gonna have to, aren't I? So much for not getting drunk."

I covered my mouth to try and stop the laughter from spilling out. She didn't seem amused as she managed to get me into the passenger's seat before rounding the car to the driver's seat. When she got comfortable, I watched her with a childish grin.

"You can't drive," I said in a know-it-all voice. "You didn't pass your test, silly."

She started the engine and began doing her mirror checks before pulling out, muttering, "Nobody has to know."

I watched as she drove, feeling exhausted but lighter than usual. She looked really pretty tonight. I wanted to tell her when we went to the party, but I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Now however, it was all I could think about and my heart was fluttering at the thought.

"Here, drink this," she ordered, before throwing a bottle of water into my lap.

"But–"

"No buts, just drink it," she said authoritatively, glancing at me.

I didn't want to argue with her, so I began opening the bottle as I giggled to myself. "You said butts."

She groaned to herself and I drank the water as instructed, even if I really didn't want to.

Before I knew it, we had arrived at my house and Skye was helping me to the door.

"Your mum knows you're coming back late, so this shouldn't be a problem," she said quietly, mostly to herself. "Try not to make noise though, okay?"

I nodded obediently, before putting my finger to my mouth. "Sshhhh. Quiet."

She rolled her eyes before using my keys to open the door and drag me inside. I stayed as quiet as I could, letting her take me upstairs and to my room. Only, before we could go in, I heard my mum call out for me.

"Y/N, love, is that you?"

I stared blankly at Skye as she gave me a knowing look with wide eyes, nodding. I continued staring at her as my mum called my name again.

"Answer her!" she whisper-shouted to me.

"But you said to stay quiet," I said with confusion.

She facepalmed. "Just answer her," she said with frustration.

"Well then, no need to get crabby," I mumbled before calling out to mum, "It's me, mum! Skye and I are back!"

There was a pause before she called back, "Okay! Make sure you lock the front door!"

I snickered to myself as Skye shoved me into my bedroom before I could reply.

"Will do, Mrs Y/L/N!" Skye called out before slipping into my room with me.

She flicked on the light as I flopped onto my bed with a satisfied sigh. Suddenly, something was tossed onto my face making me groan as I pulled them off. I realised they were pyjamas.

"Get changed. Now."

I sat up and saw Skye watching me with a stern expression. I couldn't help but smile to myself, giggling. She looked really cute when she pretended to be angry.

"Y/N," she warned.

"I'm not tired," I lied, standing up. I wanted any excuse to keep on talking to her.

"I don't care," she said with a shrug. "You're going to bed whether you like it or not."

"But I wanna talk to you," I whined like a child, before moving forward to grab her hand.

She let go and gently pushed me to the bed. "Don't be a baby, Y/N."

I hugged her quickly, smiling to myself. "Thank you for being here. And for coming with me tonight."

"Yeah, yeah..."

"I'm serious," I said, pulling away and almost falling backwards, but she held me upright. "Thanks."

Her expression softened. "Unfortunately, that's what friends are for, Y/N. I wasn't gonna leave you."

I breathed out, momentarily startled by her sharp gaze. She had the most beautiful eyes, I always thought it. Somehow, she had the power to make me freeze up and forget everything I was thinking or going to say and I never knew why.

"I love you," I said truthfully, not caring what I was saying and too overcome with emotion to care.

She rolled her eyes, a smile of amusement dancing on her lips. "You gotta keep it down, Y/N."

I smiled widely. "But I do."

She gave me a knowing look. "I know you do. And I love you, too, but you have to get ready. Tomorrow morning is not gonna be kind to you."

"No, you don't get it, I really love you, Skye," I said, my mouth going dry as I stared at her with butterflies in my stomach.

"I know," she played along, patting me on the shoulder. "You done, idiot?"

"I'm in love with you," I blurted suddenly, smile disappearing. I stared at her, trying to ignore the blurriness in my vision. "I always have been."

Her smile seemed to fade when she realised how serious I had become. She licked her lips and shook her head slowly, lowering her hands.

"You don't know what you're saying, Y/N," she said quietly.

I grew distracted by her lips, barely acknowledging what was coming out of her mouth. "I do," I told her.

She didn't know what to say, and before I knew it, I had moved forward and pressed my lips to hers. It was something I'd wanted to do for so long and now that I was finally doing it, my shoulders felt lighter as if I wasn't carrying a huge secret on them anymore.

I closed my eyes and momentarily felt her kiss back, hands resting on my chest. It didn't last very long as she gently pushed me away, leaving me face to face with her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. I was sure I didn't look any different.

"You're drunk," she stated awkwardly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and began to come to terms with what I'd just done, what I'd just ruined. I stepped back and shook my head.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and began to come to terms with what I'd just done, what I'd just ruined. I stepped back and shook my head.

"I'm so sorry, Skye. I–"

"It's okay," she reassured me. "Please, let's just get you ready for bed, okay?"

I avoided her eyes as I nodded, feeling my heart ache with discomfort.

When I woke up the next morning, I didn't remember much from the night before. At least not straight away. All I had to remind me of it was an insane headache that wouldn't go away and a rancid taste in my mouth. Thankfully, Skye caught me up with how drunk I was and how she had to stay with me to cover for me before she left me to shower and freshen up.

Unfortunately for me, showering and freshening up gave me enough time to remember parts of the night before, including the main bit where I kissed my best friend and expressed my feelings for her.

To say I was freaking out was an understatement. I couldn't believe I had done the very thing I had avoided for years. Seeing her at the breakfast table made me wonder why she hadn't mentioned it. Was she embarrassed? Did she want to pretend it never happened? Was she uncomfortable?

I wasn't sure whether to go along and pretend I couldn't remember it, or admit the truth and apologise profusely. In the end, I ended up doing the latter.

We were eating pancakes that she'd made with my mum as I spoke up.

"So, I, er, I'm kinda remembering some stuff from last night," I said awkwardly, glancing up at her.

She slowed down with her eating, avoiding my eyes. "You do?"

I nodded, looking back down to my food. "Yeah. Particularly the, well, I–"

"You don't have to say it," she assured me, and I looked up to see her watching me with a small smile.

"I'm really sorry," I got out with a deep breath. "I don't know why I did that. Or said those things. It was stupid."

"It was?"

"You should've left after that, but you didn't for some reason," I continued with a grimace of embarrassment. "We can totally pretend it didn't happen."

She chewed on the inside of her mouth as she nodded slowly in agreement. I nodded, too, eyes falling to my pancakes.

"Thanks," I mumbled. "And thank you for making sure I was okay. You're a really great friend."

She smiled at me with distracted eyes. "Anytime, Y/N."

[spencstan]

Six of Crows re-read

(i also did this for the shadow and bone trilogy so read that if you want to)

spoiler alert obiously

i'm SO EXCITED FOR THIS this is my comfort book (with crooked kingdom of course)

JOOST HI

oo fun fact this was my first grishaverse book and i read it with no context whatsoever except that the mc is an emo boy and morally grey

so IMAGINE my pure confusion when JOOST appeared

i was like ?????? weird take on morally grey character but ok

joost trying to figure out how to flirt with a girl is a mood

anyone wanna teach us how to???

i kinda wanna skip this part so i can see the crows..

but i won't don't worry

(won't I?

"I think Yuri may be quarantined"

aaaand?

so are we you are not special

i feel like it's very important for me to mention that i read this book in spanish first

and then i got into the fandom and i was like who the fuck is the wraith? i only know El Espectro

Heartender who??? ooo you mean Cardio

Tidemakers? nope, i only know Maremotores

for real i was so confused i had to re-read it in english (not that i mind tho)

say whatever you want about the spanish version but we have to agree that this design is pretty af

another one yay: "Retvenko was a Squaller" vs. "Retvenk era un Impulsor"

(should i also say that in my pfd english version the book is 294 pages long and in my pdf spanish version its 532????) (i think it's because in the english one the speces are way less like the lines are so close together wtf

i've decided that i'm bored so i'll be skiping this chapter

anya is super badass tho

skdgfalsdgfliaysvfascvhjl yesssssss inej

Kaz Brekker didn't need a reason.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

KAZ

INEJ

I MISSED THEM

omg now i can picture amita and freddy SDJGKASKGLASG THIS IS AMAZING

we interrupt our regularly scheduled program to watch the shadow and bone trailer once again to hear freddy's beautiful voice

ok moving on!

now hear me out i'm giving you all permission to make fun of kaz for this one: Dirtyhands = Manos Sucias

hello i am Kaz Manos Sucias. nice to meet you!

AAAAA

AAAAAAAAAA

JESPER FAHEY

JESPER LOVE HI

SJDGHFKAHSGDLAJSDFSJ,AHFLHDSGF

I MISSED HIM OMG

OMG NOW I CAN PICTURE HIM AS KIT

can you tell jesper is one of my favourite characters?

i really love the fact that kaz is pissed about the murder of that ambassador ONLY because he can´t figure out how it happen

he´s such a nerd

i can't believe one of the firts things we hear jesper say is threathen to kill someone by writing "forgive me" with bullets

AND HE CALLS HIS GUNS "BABIES" OMG

picture saying hi baby and wylan thinkin he's talking to him but actually jesper's talking to one of his guns

Jesper rolled his eyes. "It's about sending a message. What's the point of a dead guy with forg written on his chest?."

"Compromise," Kaz said. "I'm sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets."

ooo thank god we have kaz to come up with creative solutions /j /s

honestly i love how they talk about kaz's cane like it's the scariest weapon ever (which it kind of is)

nothing will ever disappoint me more than finding out that in english their gang name is "the Dregs". like i don't even know for sure what that means

in spanish is "Los Indeseables" (the undesirables?) which sounds a lot more badass

no hate tho i like the dregs

but i was confused af bc i expected it to be sometihng like "the undesirables" or"the unwanted" or whatever

and it said "the dregs"

which in the translator means something like shit or something

anways moving on:

If he'd (kaz) ever been a little boy

i love how lowkey all the crows think he was just born exactly like he is now

imagine a baby kaz all dressed in black and threatening people

cute

"No mourners," Jesper said as he tossed his rifle to Rotty

"No funerals," the rest of the Dregs murmured in reply. Among them, it passed for "good luck".

YES

YESSS

i wonder what wylan's doing right now :))

i can't wait for the next book where he has a pov

the first time i read this book i literally looked at the title of every chapter to see if he ever got one (i was disappointed to say the least :((((

Besides, she was the Wraith - the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.

ma'am

marry me please

i'm gonna cry so hard once the show is out and we get to see inej omg

me simp

That Kaz had chosen Jesper to be one of his seconds was no surprise. Twitchy as Jepser was, with or without his revolvers, he was at his best in a fight, and she knew he'd do anything for Kaz.

idk why but i just love it every time kaz implies or shows that he cares or trusts jesper

it makes me soft

But every one of Inej's senses told her that was not how this was going to play out. Her father would have said the shadows were about their business tonight. Something bad was going to happen here.

underrated saying from Inej's father right there

"I'm a business man," he told her."No more, no less"

"You're a thief, Kaz."

"Isn't that what I just said?"

i-

i see no lies here

not to be annoying but i hc jesper as adhd (i mean is pretty much as canon as wylan's dyslexia) so i'm gonna write here every time i see evidence :)

jesper with adhd part 1: impulsivity

Jesper snorted. "Stomach, spine. What's next, spleen?"

"Shut it" Oomen snarled. The rules of parley dictated that only the lieutenants could speak once negotiations had begun. Jesper mouthed "sorry" and elaboratedly pantomimed locking his lips shut.

he know he couldn't speak but couldn't stop himself from making a comment (i relate way too much to that lmao)

hoestly poor jesper he had to watch hid friend get shot and kaz do nothing about it

i would've been mad too

"I like it when men beg," she said. "But this isn't the time for it"

KAHGFAHLGSFGASFLGSAFS

this is one of the best quotes in the book by far

YASSS KAZ POV

Kaz could have tol Jesper that he knew he wasn't dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him eough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.

cute

but kaz is petty af

he didn't even have a reason not to tell jesper that!

i love that kaz knows inej is following him but doesn't say anything because he wants to wait until she's ready

i LOVE the scene where kaz in in the van eck mantion /srs

idk why but it's so good

And, of course, there was the mystery of Van Eck's son.

wonder what that could be!!! /s

He grinned at her (...)

"Hmm." she said noncommittally, pretending to examine one of her knives, determined to ignore that grin.

KANEJ YESS

HE'S BASICALLY SHOWERING IN FRONT OF HER OMG

this is so funny poor inej is getting flustered

"And I'll need Wylan waiting at the Crow Club tomorrow night."

YES WYLAN OMG

One minute he made her blush and the next he made her want to commit murder

happens to the best of us :/

"Please, my darling Inej. treasure of my heart won't you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?"

if kaz doesn't say this on the show we riot

agreed?

it's so amazing how nina found a way to use her powers to get money instead of having to like steal and murder like the rest in the gang

NINA'S POV YESSS HIII

nina and inej omg

their friendship is just perfect

POOR MATTHIAS HE HAS TO FIGHT THE WOLVES

i would straight up cry

Matthias was dreaming again. Dreaming of her

i'm gonna cry damn it

this is the enemies-to-lovers we all needed

jesper has adhd part 2:

"Jesper was supposed to wait until three bells." said the pale boy

"It is three bells, Kaz." replied a small girl (...)

"Since when is Jesper punctual?" the boy complained with a glance at his watch

the time blindness come one

(btw i love the fact that kaz plans around jesper's time blindness instead of like threatening him to be on time)

i really love how every one feels the need to take the time to say/think that the masks are ugly

its so unnecessary lmao

yessss inej is a badass that kills monster we stan

and matthias is lowkey impressed lmao

as he should

"Thank you, Jesper," said Nina

"You're very welcome, gorgeous. See, Kaz? That's how the civilised folk do"

THESE TWO OMG

JESPER IS THE LOML

INEJ OMG LOOK:

She stepped aside as if she's known he was coming, languidly hooking her heel behind his ankle. Matthias let out a loud grunt as he landed on the stones

(...) "Clumsy, this one," the bronze girl said impassively.

i-

that's what happen when you underestimate her bitch

AAAAAAA

PEOPLE

PEOPLE

TIME TO FREAK OUT

WYLAN IS HERE

AND HE'S DOODLING STOP IT'S SO CUTE

ok jesper has adhd part 3 i think:

"Just how crazy is he?" asked Jesper, fingers drumming on the pearl handles of his revolvers.

ok first of all: stimming

second of all: hyperactivity

i rest my case

ok 2 or 3 things here

"I believe you know Nina," Brekker continued. "The lovely girl freeing you is Inej. (...) and this is Wylan, the best demolitions expert in the Barrel"

"Raske is better," Inej said

The boy looked up, ruddy gold hair flopping in his eyes, and spoke for the first time. "He's not better. He's reckless"

"He knows his trade"

"So do I"

ok 1: kaz calling inej lovely omg kanej

2: YES WYLAN STANDING UP FOR HIMSELF

2.5: kaz calling him the best cute af

3: honestly why do people think wylan is like an innocent soft boy or whatever. he's in a room full of murderers and thieves and the first thing he does is correct them and stand up for himself

like i wish i could do that

i would be crying like a bitch

AAAAAAAA

"Meet Wylan Van Eck"

KHDSGFALSGFIASGFAL

HI WYLAN BABY

YESSS JESPER'S POV NOW

I'M SO HAPPY also look at this it's the first thing in his pov

Jesper stared at Wylan

do i sense some wesper?????

ok everyone is being so mean to him right now

they are aclling him useless and an idiot and other shit

poor boy honestly he had to deal with this + taking part of a heist he is definetly not ready for + he has to hide the fact that he can't write or read

it so distrubing that kaz is literally the nicest one to wylan right now

"See that? Hidden depths." (...)"He's good enough at demo, and he's got a fine hand for sketching, thanks to all those pricey tutors."

(...)

"There you have it," Kaz said to Jesper. "Marketable skills. Wylan is watching you, Helvar"

GET READY

ARE Y'ALL READY?

OK THEN:

"Scheming face," Jesper whispered to Inej.

She nodded. "Definetly."

THEIR FRIENDSHIP OMG

AND THIS QUOTE

I NEED IT ON THE SHOW THEY BETTER GIVE IT TO US

"Who's Mark" damn wylan (but pretty good comeback to jesper tho)

"What's the easiest way to steal a man's wallet?

"Knife to the throat?" asked Inej.

"Gun to the back?" said Jesper.

"Poison in his cup?" suggested Nina.

"You're all horrible," said Matthias.

tag yourself i'm jesper

KJSFGAL kaz just told wylan to tell him everything he know about his dad's company

and he said he doesn't know and kaz was like "and you never looked trough his documents????

AND THEN HE GOT SAD AND SAID HE HADN'T (and kaz believed him this is sad)

AND NOW JESPER CALLED HIIM USELESS

ok you know i love you jes but if you keep this up

idk i can't do anything you're a sharpshooter

but stiiiiiil

LMAO MATTHIAS ACTUALLY THOUGHT HE COULD BEAT KAZ

nice try

demjin

*insert spongebob voice* demjin

WE'RE GONNA TAKE A MOMENT NOW TO APPRECIATE INEJ GAHFA

BECAUSE KAZ DOESN'T

The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true.

*ugly crying*

Many boys will bring you flowers. But some day you'll meet a boy who will learn your favourite flower, your favourite song, your favourite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.

*uglier crying*

TANTE HELLEN IF YOU DON'T GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

SOMEONE PLEASE STAB HER FOR ME

jesper has adhd part ?? (i have dyscalculia you can't expect me to remember the number):

That sound - the swift, shocking report of gunfire - called the scattered, irascible, permanently seeking part of his mind into focus like nothing else.

do i really need to explain this?

ok just in case.. an adhd brain doesn't actually have a deficit of attention(the name just sucks) it's problem with controling that attention. the brain is always looking for new sources of dopamine which is why it shifts its focus so much

i love that jes thinks of matthias as "tha giant"

like sir

have you seen yourself?

you're tall af

HE GOT SHOT

WHY DID I FORGET JESPER GETS SHOT IN THE LEG HERE

"Close your eyes!"

"You can't kiss me from down there, Wylan"

"Just do it!"

i love the energy BUT NOW IT'S NOT THE TIME JES

YESS WYLAN SHOW THEM THEY WERE WRONG CALLING YOU USELESS

inej just stabed some guy int the d

good for her!

KAZ YESSSS HI

AWWW SHE'S WORRIED HE DOESN'T HAVE HIS CANE

KANEJ FOR LIFE

oh no wylan got shot too???? (just barely but stilllll por baby)

my Wraith omggg

ok 3 things about this:

Without another word, he tipped Oomen into the sea.

"No!" Wylan shouted, leaning over the railing, his face pale, stunned eyes tracking Oomen in the waves. (...)

Jesper set his hand on Wylan's shoulder. "Let it go."

"It's not right-"

"Wylan," Jesper said, giving him a little shake."Maybe your tutors didn't cover this lesson, but you do not argue with a man covered in blook and a knife up his sleeve"

1. wesper yasssss

2. wylan just argued with a mant hat had just tacken the eye out of someone. he literally called him out for being an asshole. like damn wylan is brave af i love him

3. do you think seeing kaz trow the guy out of the boat reminded wylan of when the same thing happened to him???? this makes me sad

he's brave and a good person and i just-

"Man with a knife, remember?" he said over his shoulder.

"Man with a gun!" Jesper called after him

this had no right being so funny

AND THEN KAZ GAVE HIM THE MIDDLE FINGER STOP I CAN'T

nina is the biggest kanej shiper no one can tell me i'm wrong

unrelated but if jesper had gone to the Little Palace and had studied there with nina they 100% would've had a crush on Zoya and bonded over it

like you can't tell me those two bisexual disaster wouldn't be absolutely in love with Zoya

jesper has adhd part ??:

Jesper scrubbed the back of his neck, touched his hands to his gunds, returned to his neck. He always seemed to be in motions

hyperactivity right there

and restlessness

"Do you know the best way to find Grisha who don't want to be found?" (...)

"Seems to be if they don't want to be found, you should just let them be" (jesper says this)

this conversation must be so stressful to him omg

LMAO JESPER CUT MATTHIAS HAIR THIS IS SO FUNNY

AND HE SHAVED HIM

ok you all know i love all of them but they can be sooo stupid

like wylan wrote no names on the drawing and he's excuse is that he doesn't know fjerdan?

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN TRUE he literally said he learned school fjerdan which means he should know how to write it too (we know why he can't but the tohers don't)

and even then like the excuse doesn't make any sense. why would having the original name be usefull if no one can fucking read it????

the worst part tho? NO ONE QUESTIONED HIM

THEY WERE LIKE "yup makes sense" AND WENT ON WITH THEIR DAY

i wondered how they didn't figure wylan's secret sooner but now i now

it's because theya re idiots

"I'm just doing my job. Stop glaring at me"

wylan baby let's not make the gigant mad

Jesper knocked his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. "Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I'm going to get Wylan's ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost."

Brekker's lips quirked. "I'll just hire Matthias ghost to kick your ghost's ass."

"My ghost won't associate with your ghost," Matthias said primply, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.

i had to put this here i don't want to get murdered by the fandom

jesper, inej and nina have the BEST friendship

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE JES AND INEJ TOGETHER ON NETFLIX

"I know some people don't understand, but Kaz told me ... he said it was my choice, that he wouldn't be the one to mark me again."

i love this because it happen when they had just met

he did it because he understands her trauma and he respects her not because he loves her (i doubt he did at the time)

Kaz had been impressed with the sketches. (...)

"Just learn to take a compliment. Kaz doesn't hand them out often."

I'M SO PROUD OF WYLAN

and yess kaz only compliments wylan (and inej but that's sarcastic so it doesn't count) because he's a proud dad

"And you don't belong here, either."

"I beg your pardon, merchiling?"

"We don't need a sharpshooter for Kaz's plan, so what's your job - other than stalking around making everyone angsty?"

He shrugged. "Kaz trusts me."

Wylan snorted and picked up his pen. "Sure about that?"

DAMN WYLAN DESTROYED HIM

also

"If you aren't born with every advantage, you learn to take your chances."

"I wasn't-" Wylan left off and set down his pen. (...)

aww cute neurodivergent boyfriends bonding

Wylan had turned back to his work, his disappointment obvious. For some reason, Jesper felt disappointed, too.

ajgflasjgfjagslfiuusgflgdfsgdflasdgfsd

wesper

aww jes checks on inej every morning and every night i love him

"Thank you for keeping me in this world when fate seemed determined to drag me to the next. I owe you a life debt."

Nina blushed deeply. "I was teasing, Inej"

LJFGALKGFALGA another cute friendship right there

(and i can see why people ship them romantically)

STOP INEJ AND JES ARE BONDING SO MUCH (page 127 so i can go back and read it lmao)

Van Eck writes to Wylan every week, and Wylan doesn't even open the letters

"They just said the same thing again and again: If you're reading this, the you know how much I wish to have you home. Or I pray that you read these words and think of all you've left behind."

should i kill him? anyone want to join me?

Inej bumped her shoulder against his."Then at least we're both the same kind of stupid." (...)

"You're too good for him, you know?"

"I know. So are you"

jes and her bonding over their stupid crush on a white boy

Because I've been looking for an excuse to talk to you for two days.

jfsfdajdhmgkfutdjrgsg ok i can't blame them for having a crush on him anymore

this chapter is full of kanej i love it

"What do you want, then"

You, Inej. You forever.

jksdgfoagsdfgsdgfklasgdflaghsldfgksdgfkahgsdfghjlkf

kaz's backstory makes me sad

"When we get our money, you can burn kruge to keep you warm," said Kaz. (...)

"I´m gonna pay someone to burn my kruge for me."

Kaz fell into step beside him. "Why don't you pay someone else to pay someone to burn your kruge for you? That's what big players do."

"You know what the really big bosses do? They pay someone to pay someone ...". Their voices trailed off as they tomped ahead, and Matthias and the others followed.

JES AND KAZ HAVE THE BEST CONVERSATIONS

i can't believe we get to see nina and matthias meet and their whole backstory in less than a month omg

"It's not natural for women to fight."

"It's not natural for someone to be as stupid as he is tall, and yet there you stand."

QUEEN

YOU TELL HIM

oh no the dead grisha

this part breaks my heart every time

"Do you have a different name for killing when you wear a uniform to do it?"

.....i'm just gonna leave this quote right here

anyways acab

stop nina tried to kill the survivor so they wouldn't suffer but she couldn't do it

and jesper did it for her without hesitation i wanna cry

and inej didn't want to do it either i want to hug them

"Because our crime is existing. Our crime is what we are"

..........

i'm gonna leave this here again

do with it what you will

"Don't mock what you don't understand."

"My mockery offends you? My people would welcome you laughter in place of this barbarity"

i- this conversation is so important

AAAAA JES AND WY ARE A GREAT TEAM I LOVE THEM

WYLAN TROWS BOMBS TOGIVE JESPER TIME TO GET READY TO SHOOT

INEJ AND KAZ ARE A GREAT TEAM TOO

THEY LITERALLY DID THE SCENE LIKE IN THE AVENGERS (but without the shield WHICH MAKES IT BETTER)

Jesper shouldered his rifle. "Wylan earned his keep."

Wylan gave a little jump at the sound of his name. "I did?"

YES BABY YOU DID GREAT

kaz getting self-conscious for his hair is pure comedy

but nina how can you say that have you see his hair on the show???? it's perfect

"Remeber our friend Mark?"

HELP I CAN'T

"Any other impossible feats you'd like us to accomplish?"

The bearest smile flikered over Kaz's lips. "I'll make you a list."

once again jesper and kaz being besties

unrelated but nikolai and jesper would love each other

the amount of sass they have between them it's unparalleled

"Mmm," Inej murmured, taking a sip from her mug. "Maybe you're just not enough."

DAMN

ma'am marry me please

kaz fainted damn poor boy

unrelated unce again but this is so much betetr than shadow and bone

like you can tell leigh improved so much

her characters are better and their arcs are better developed

the writing itself it's better

or maybe i'm just biased because i love soc so much but i think she definetly improved

INEJ IS TRYING TO GIVE HIM SPACE EVEN WHEN SHE'S TRAPPED AND LOCKED ON THE WAGON

I JUST - THEY KNOW EACH OTHER SO MUCH

Though he'd trusted her with his life countless times, it felt much more frightening to trust her with his shame.

Inej had once offered to teach him how to fall. "The trick is not getting knocked down," he'd told her with a laugh. "No, Kaz," she's said, "the trick is in getting back up"

inej is smart af

Kaz was usually unshakeable during a job, but now he was on edge, and Jesper didn't know why. Part of him wanted to ask, though he knew that was the stupid part, the hopeful farmboy who picked the worst possible person to care about, who searched for signs in things that he knew deep down meant nothing - when kaz chose him for a job, when Kaz played along with one of his jokes. He could have kicked himself. He's finally seen the infamous Kaz Brekker without a stich of clothing, and he'd been too worried about ending up on a pike to pay proper attention.

ok i got a couple of things to say about this part

first of all it makes me so sad that jes cares so much for someone who dosn't deserve him. because no hate to kaz but they would never work as a couple and kaz already treats him like shit most of the time

i think this part shows who a lot about who jesper really is. a boy that grew up having to hide parts of himself, who thinks he's worth nothing but it's smart and capable, who's loyal and brave and caring but doesn't even know it himself. he's someone who feels he doesn't deserve good things and thinks he's not good enough, and that's why he unds up in all the wrong places with the wrong people. he left uni bc he fell in with the gangs, because he didn't think he was smart enough or even prepared to be in studying in the university. jesper is constantly hiding behind a mask or running from things because he's scared of not being enough

an kaz is everything jes in a way wishes he could be. kaz is secure in himself (at least on the outside), he's stable, he's smart, he's "unshakeable". and most of all, he doesn't care about others (we know that's not true but that's how he presents himself)

and that's the thing that causes jesper all his problems. because he's insecure because he thinks he's not good enough for the poeple or things he cares about. and he's always trying to do what's best for his loved ones: he went to the ice court to pay his debt for his father, he follows kaz everywhere beacause he cares about him, he offered to read to wylan (knowing it wouldn't be easy for him to be still that long).

and yeah it often doesn't work out becuase he's messy and he has problems but he tries. and he hates that. he hates that he cares so much about people because at the end of the day, that's what makes him feel like he's not good enough

one more thing and i'm done i promise

unpopular opinion but i love that leigh made jesper have a crush on kaz. 1 beacuse it's refreshing to see someone not get otgether with his first crush. and 2 because i love that it shows that we sometimes get attached to people that are not good for us, but that we can learn to move on. jesper ended with wylan who respects him and values him, unlike kaz

ok i'm sorry that was probably all bs

oo one more thing, jesper definetly has rsd (rejection sensitive disphoria), which is something most poeple with adhd have

"My father used to take me everywhere with him"

this is so sad. bc they probably had a good relationship when he was little. and then they figured he coudln't read and now his father treats him like shit

it's even worse than if he haf been horrible from the beginning because wylan knows he can be a good father. and so he thinks it's his fault and he deserves to be treated like that. i hate van eck

"You're cuter when you're smart"

(...)

"Definitely cuter when you're smart"

wesper yesssss

i love them so much

ok but why do people think jesper is stupid. like the boy just made a bunch of criminals pass out by mixing some chemicals

and he was going to the university at like 15

AAAAND NOW THEY KNOW HE'S A FABRIKATOR

amazing plot twist

also:

Wylan coughed. Flirting with him might actually be more fun that annoying him, but it was a close call.

oooo come on jesper we all know you just love getitng him to blush

and you love him

who said that? definitely not me, nope

awwww jesper misses being around animals that's cute

imagine him coming home to wylan one day with a puppy because he just couldn't resist

cute

Better terrible truths than kind lies

just leaving here more of inej's wisdom

ok this may be a reach but jesper has adhd part ???

Yellow Protocol? Red Protocol? He couldn't remember which was which. (...)

"The alarm was Yellow Protocol, a sector disturbance."

Jesper pushed at his temples. "I don't remember what that means"

a bad working memory? sounds familiar

kaz loves puzzles

it's canon

"I love puzzles. Trickery is just my native tongue."

this part where wylan and jesper see the banner made with grisha's kefta kills me every time

I would have worn purple, Jesper thought, if I'd joined the Second Army. (...) He'd beenwilling, even eager to risk capture and execution as a thief and hired gun. Why was it worse to think about being hunted as a Grisha?

this makes me want to cry so much

another thing super sad: the fact that since his father is Kaelish and had some supersititons towards grisha, jesper grew up wondering if his own father was scared of him. he had to hide his powers and he was almost taught to be afraid of them

"Is it safe to leave them, you know-"

"Alive? I'm not big on killing unconscious men."

"We could wake them up"

WYLAN

NO

damn the boy needs therapy

it's amazing how nothing went like they planned

not a single thing

PEOPLE GET READY

ARE YOU READY?

NEITHER AM I BUT WHO CARES

"What do you like?"

"Music. Numbers. Equations. They are not like words. They...they don't get mixed up."

ok dude the clues are right there he's basically saying it

"If only you could talk to girls in equations."

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they'd created in the link, Wylan said, "Just girls?"

Jesper restrained a grin. "No. Not just girls." It really was a shame they were all probably going to die tonight.

wylan really said a straight man?? couldn't be me

this is the definition of bi panic "jesper restrained a grin" bitch we saw that

btw i love the slow burn

like they hint something here but they don't actually start liking each other until much later and they don't get together until almost the end of ck

i also love that the fact that they both like guys is like out in the open now. bc i'm not a fan of when queer characters have a crush and there's the whole thing of "are they queer too or not?"

like they both know htey are queer. but they don't get together right away bc they have to start liking each other before. they don't get together bc they are the only queer mlm characters

matthias fake betrayal killed me

i tought it was real

I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept fom this oath.

this is just-

also foreshadowing?

YAYY KUWEI HI

There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken.

She's laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and got drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.

if i ever have a s/o and they don't tell me this at least once i don't want it

He needed to tell her... what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himslef together into some smeblance of a man for her

THIS

THIS IS LOVE RIGHT THERE

they are the only straight couple that matters

everyone else go home

Wylan had scratches all over his cheeks and neck. He was beaming. Inej grabbed his hands and sqeezed.

so cute omg

"You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan's school pals along the way"

KAZ

i mean it's true but you didn't have to say it

KAZ IS SMILING OMG

EVERYONE FREAK OUT WITH ME

HE'S "grinning like and idiot" STOP I LOVE HIM

"We are all someone's mosnter, Nina"

"I will have you without armour, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all"

this part breaks my heart and i love it

"Stay," she oanted. Tears leaked from her eyes. "Stay till the end"

"And after," he said. "And always."

i just- helnik is perfect

AWWW JESPER MISSES WYLAN

my daily dosis of wesper :)

ok but in like 2 pages jesper tought of wylan like 10 times bc he's sad wy isn't with him

Jesper scanned the empty deck. He's assumed Wylan would come up to see them off. (...)

Jesper knew he was being selfish and stupid, but some petty part of him wondered if Wylan had deliberately kept away from him on the journey back. Maybe now that the job was complete and he was on his way to his share of the haul, Wylan was done slumming with criminals.

*charles boyle's insinuating voice* and why do you care so much???

btw YOU ARE WRONG. HE'S LITERALLY GOING OUT OF HIS WAY TO BE WITH YOU EVEN THOUGH HE CAN'T SPEAK

this scene where we find out the truth about wylan hurts so much but it's one of my favourites idk why

I LOVE THAT EVERYONE IS AS MAD AS I AM ABOUT THE LETTERS NOW

"Your're a fool," Jesper snarled. "He smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

YES TELL HIM

the fact that wylan just heard him say that omg

"Deserved" amended Van Eck. He blew the whislte twice.

SOMEONE BETTER GRAB ME BEFORE I KILL HIM MYSLEF

THAT IDIOT

I HATE HIM SO MUCH

I'M GONNA CRY CAN SOMEONE KILL HIM FOR ME

Jesper screamed in rage and raised his guns.

YES EXACLTY WHAT I MEANT

JUST KILL HIM RIGHT NOW

"I'm not big on bludding, am I Inej?"

"Not as a rule"

Van Eck's lip curled. "And why is that?"

"Because he'd rather cheat," said the boy who was not Kuwei Yul-Bo in perfect, unaccented Kerch.

THIS WAS PERFECT

THE BEST WAY TO REVEAL THAT

(...), and Jesper flinched

baby he recognized wylan's voice

The Shu boy held out a hand. "Pay up, Kaz"

BITCH THIS IS AMAZING

THIS BOY MADE A BET WITH A CRIMINAL THAT HIS OWN FATHER WAS GOING TO TRY TO KILL HIM

AND HE WON THE BET

A nearly perfect replica of Kuwei Yul-Bo stood before them, but he had Wylan's voice, his mannerisms, and - though Kaz could see the fear and hurt in his golden eyes - Wylan's surprising courage, too.

i love it when they compliment him

my boy deserves all the compliments ever

AND KAZ IS PROUD OF HIS SON WE ALL KNOW THIS

Wylan cuold draw a perfectt elevation. He's made a drill that could cut throu Grisha glass from parts of a gate and scavenged bits of jewellery. So what if he couldn't read

this is taking me to some real places

i may cry you've been warned

WYLAN DIDN'T CARE THAT HE MAY BE STUCKED LOOKING LIKE KUWEI

this is making me cry

"A fool would have been waiting to be smashed to bits on that ship. And as for "traitor", you've called me worse in the last few minutes alone."

EXACTLY

YOU TELL HIM WYLAN

Instead, in that moment of threat, when he should have thought only of the fight, he looked at Inej.

BABY

i would've done the same tho she's pretty

amita is sooo pretty i'm gonna die when the show comes out

Jesper was staring at Wylan, his eyes roving over the black hair, the golden eyes. "Why?" he said at last. "Why would you do this?"

nothing to say here except: wesper

You... how many times was it you standing beside me on the deck at night when I tought it was Kuwei?"

"Every time."

i want to cry so bad

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't know!" Jesper said angrily. "Maybe I liked your stupid face."

a very staright and platonic thing to say of course

i know jes we all liked his stupid face

"Jesper made a mistake," said Wylan. "A stupid mistake, but he didn't set out to betray anyone."

YES WYLAN DEFEND YOUR BOYFRIEND

And maybe he'd kept him in the dark about Wyllan because he wanted to punish him a little

even kaz know they like each other come on

Jesper sat with elbows on knees, head in hands. Wylan deside him wearing th face of a stranger.

wylan give him a hug fro me please

he needs it

"Scheming face," murmured Jesper.

"Definitely," agreed Wylan.

i miss inej already

And I'm going to get my girl. Inej could never be his, not really, but he would find a way to give her the freedom he´d promised her so long ago.

i'm ugly crying and so what?

and now we're done....

i want to read this book again omg this is unhealthy

[buckyswheezes]

Perfectly Fine (Pt. 8)

Premise: “You know why I don’t like you? It’s because you’re a natural. You’re naturally kind, naturally good-looking; you can wear trash bags and still look perfectly fine. You’re naturally intelligent and excellent in everything you do. It’s like you naturally get what you want, you don’t have to work hard for it. You don’t have to pretend because people naturally like you.”

Or Bucky found out that the new oh-so-perfect Junior Accountant of Stark Industries isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

"Oh my god, y/n! You're so gorgeous!"

"So, Ms. Perfect finally arrived looking more dazzling than ever."

"Y/n, you're about to get arrested 'cause you're killing all the boys in the hall."

You can't even count the number of compliments thrown your way as Wanda dragged you across the floor, past the lavishly-dressed people with champagne in their hands. At the same time, party music blasted through the giant speakers. You smiled and gave whoever complimented you your thanks. You were surrounded by people; all smiling, all are happy, all love you.

You listened to their stories, laughed if it's funny, replied when asked a question, and gave advice when needed.

"You know, I think I'm gonna give him a second chance." One of your colleagues shared. "He seems sincere when he promised he'll make it up to me." Her eyes twinkled in hope.

When she cracked a joke, you laughed.

It was always like that; you listen, you give advice, you encourage -it was never the other way around. You never shared your life's stories; you never cracked jokes. There was never a time when you ranted out your problems to them because what could you possibly say?

"Wanda, guess what? My goddamned mother, who left me when I was 6, married a rich guy! And you know what that filthy witch did? She didn't tell her husband that she has a daughter. Fantastic, right? Then, after all this time she's gone, my runway-model-like sister appeared on my front door and told me our mom wants to see me. You know why? Bingo! 'Cause, she's dying!"

Another colleague of yours arrived and complimented you. You smiled and said your thanks.

"Just like in dramas, right? I'm the cold-hearted child who won't forgive her mom. Well. Yeah, that's me. I'll never forgive her, not in this lifetime."

Another colleague cracked a joke. You laughed.

"Yeah, I hope she dies and suffers in hell."

You continued to smile and laugh with the people around you. They're all happy. Even your selfish, cruel, and hypocrite of a mother became happy with her new family. Why is it as if you're the only one who can't get what you want? Why?

You're surrounded by people, but why do you feel miserably alone?

"You don't look good."

A familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts. All heads turned towards James, who just arrived, and he stood there; frowning, worry evident in his eyes. He grabbed your hand and pulled you towards him. "If you'll excuse us."

"What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?" You asked back, still wearing your dazzling smile.

"Drop the act, doll."

In a flash, your smile vanished, and for the first time, you let him see how lonely and vulnerable you feel. You didn't care this time.

"How?" You whimpered. "How do you know? How can you see through me?"

And this was the real reason why you hated him; why you avoided him. He could see what others couldn't. He could see that your smiles are fake, that you're troubled, that you're angry, and that you're scared. James Barnes could see why you tried so damn hard to hide and that scared you.

You were scared that if he sees all of it, see you for who you really are; he would leave. But now that he knows, he's still here. Doing things you didn't expect. Doing things you didn't understand.

And when you don't understand something, you get scared.

James' warm hands came upon your face, cupping both your cheeks. The gesture comforted you, and you relished in his touch. Your peace, however, was brief, cut short by the ringing of your phone.

You took a deep breath before answering the call.

"Y/n, please. You don't have to talk to her or anything. Just see mom, please."

"I won't see her. She can die right now; she'll do me a favor if she does that." You spat, and before your half-sister could speak again, you ended the call.

"That was my half-sister. She wants me to go and see the woman who abandoned me."

"Do you wanna see her?"

You scoffed. "Yeah, right."

————

"What the fuck, James! Just what the fuck!"

You let your guard down for one second, and the next thing you knew, James was on the phone with your sister, then your halfway across the city, and now, here you stood, bickering with him in a hospital corridor.

James stared at you intently. It was the look you hated, the look that penetrated through all your lies and pretense. "Tell her anything you wanna say." You glared at him, but he didn't budge. "It doesn't matter what it is; tell her to go die, tell her to fuck herself," He paused caressed your cheek. "Tell her what you want; you owe yourself that."

James reached for your hand and squeezed it tight.

"Whatever it is you tell her, good or bad when you come out of that room, I'll be here for you." He promised, then pulled you into a hug before kissing your lips. "I'll be here."

With trembling hands, you reached for the doorknob and twisted it open. You were going to see the first person who ever left you, rejected you, and abandoned you. You felt a lump in your throat.

Forgive? How do you do that? How can you forgive the person who wronged your entire existence? She was the last person you believed would never betray you, but she did. She broke your trust; she abandoned you. How could you forgive that person? You don't know how.

Funny, you thought you would break down and cry at the sight of your mother; pale, sickly, thin.

The woman opened her eyes, focusing on you. She recognized you. "Do me a favor, y/n. Don't forgive me. Hate me, y/n."

You stepped closer to her. "Why? To calm your twisted conscience? To know that even in your wake, one person is cursing you until' your death; then you'd feel sad and that would make up for the years that you were happy?"

She didn't speak for a while, and when she finally did, she said. "Yes, that's what I want."

"You're really… something." You shook your head in disbelief. "You want me to keep hating you? Sorry, but no. I won't. I won't let you do that to me."

Feeling braver than you've ever felt in your whole life. You reached out and tenderly held your mother's hand.

"Because of you, I was in misery for many years. Because of you, a lot of insecurities ate me. I won't allow you to make me suffer again. I'll be free from all the misery and insecurities your abandonment brought me." You brought her hand to your lips and placed a chaste kiss upon it. "You're not worth my hatred. I won't let you make me feel bad in any way again."

"I forgive you, mom."

You know, with all your heart, that you mean it. You let your gaze linger on her face one last time, fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. Finally, you let her go. You turned and walked away without looking back.

You're leaving the person who first left you, and you're embracing the first person to accept you -for who you truly are.

When you opened the door, you saw James standing there, waiting for you like he promised. You walked straight into his waiting arms.

"Thank you."

author's note: This series is ending soon. I wanna thank all of you lovelies for reading my first ever Bucky fic. Don't worry bc I have like a loooooot of fics lined up. Let me know if you wanna be tagged in my upcoming fics. :))

Tag: @crowleyqueenofhell

[floreleine]

That GM prequel fic - part 3: Florence's POV

Part 1 (Madeleine, <1k, G)

Part 2 (Scarlet, 1k, G)

Ships: Floreleine & ScarletMay

Hiding the entire fic under the readmore this time for Part 1+2 spoiler reasons! This one's also rated G (or T if we're going for swear words and alcohol consumption I guess), a little over 1k words.

There will be at least 1 more part of this, and then I might post a revised and possibly longer version to ao3.

Bc idk where to put this in the fic itself yet, quick setting overview: they're not sitting around a table but instead Florence and Madeleine are sitting on a small couch, Scarlet is next to Madeleine on a wobbly kitchen chair and Anna May is sitting opposite them on a barstool at the kitchen aisle.

That night, the librarians plus Scarlet (and minus Baby, who is sleeping in the next room under a security camera that both Madeleine and Scarlet insist on checking every other minute) are sitting in the kitchen together for dinner and a drink.

Or five drinks in Anna May's case, as she downs the first one in one go and hasn't let go of the Whiskey bottle since. Florence can't blame her, really - if Madeleine had run off with some guy, no matter how early in their relationship, only to return a year later with tears and a baby... She has no idea what she'd be doing right now.

Madeleine and Scarlet are talking about the child right now, sharing child-caring advice - Florence is fairly certain that Madeleine has her knowledge from books and only from books, but she seems to have picked out sound advice from all that she has read at least - and Florence has to smile fondly at how Madeleine is glowing at the prospect of having a child in the library.

Scarlet is careful in her replies, not wanting to commit to anything, her eyes shifting back to Anna May whenever she doesn't think that the others are looking.

'She's afraid she'll kick her out after all,' Florence thinks with a quiet sigh. 'Can't blame her, Anna knows how to hold a grudge, and with how she is drinking right now... It isn't her friendliest appearance'.

Still, she thinks that they will work it out. They better. It's been a while since she has seen Anna May have an emotional reaction to just about anything, and it can't be healthy to keep it all locked inside, pushing all chances of happiness away.

Madeleine must have heard her sigh, and she leans back against Florence's side. Florence squeezes her arm, content to have her by her side, glad that they, at least, don't have to worry about their relationship status. Being with Madeleine always relaxes her, makes her feel like everything is alright in the world.

Madeleine presses a kiss to her chin and, after checking that both Scarlet and Anna May are looking down at their glasses, nods in the direction of the door. 'Should we give those two some privacy?'

Florence tilts her head for a moment to consider, then shakes her head, nodding at Anna May, and Madeleine winces a little. Yes, Anna is barely keeping it together now, who knows what she may say or rather shout if they left them alone... Anna May should get a chance to cool down, before she ends up saying something she doesn't mean and would regret.

As if on cue, Anna May throws back the rest of the Whiskey in her glass in one gulp and loudly brings it down on the kitchen counter as if to dispel the silence that has fallen.

"Fuck."

Madeleine looks like she wants to remind her about cursing with children in the house again, but Florence squeezes her arm to stop her. They don't need to irritate Anna May even more right now.

"I'm sorry," Scarlet says immediately. Florence doesn't think that she is apologizing for anything in particular, just for the situation in general, for present and past.

Anna May gets up and turns around, putting her glass in the sink and turning on the water, but then just leaning against it with her hands holding onto the metal edge and her knuckles turning white.

Florence is trying to decide whether to step in or not when Scarlet speaks up again in a shaky voice. "I can - I can leave, I don't have to -" she gets up, clearly ready to bolt, and Anna May flinches, but she doesn't turn back around.

"No-one's" leaving, Florence says at the same time as Madeleine says "No, don't be silly!" They share a smile, and then Madeleine squeezes her hand before getting up and walking over to Madeleine. "Come on, let me show you everything. You can sleep in the room with Samantha, me and Florence aren't really using it much anyway."

Florence watches them go with a soft smile. Madeleine always knows what to do, what to say. She's so grateful to have her.

Once the other two have left, Florence goes up to Anna May and slams the still-running tap down, making her jump.

"Stop wasting water and get a hold of yourself, Anna!"

Anna May whirls around, clearly ready to fight, but Florence just throws her a deadpan look and she deflates.

"Fuck, I don't know what to do." She slurs her words a little, but not as much as Florence would have expected after that much alcohol.

"Right now? You are going to drink some water so you will not be terribly hungover tomorrow. And tomorrow, you have got to think about whether you want that woman and her kid to stick around or not."

Anna May flinches a little, but when Florence sighs and pours her a glass of water, she takes it without protest and gulps most of it down in one go.

"I dun' want her to leave," she then murmurs, staring down at the glass in her hands. "She left me once, I don't want her to leave me again."

Florence sighs and pulls her into a hug. "Bloody hell, Anna, why did you never say anything? You must have been fucking heartbroken, and all you told us was that you gave dating one last chance."

Anna May half-laughs, half-sobs and clings to Florence like a lifeline. "Don't know. Didn't want to be weak. Didn't want it to be real."

"Oh, Anna," Florence sighs and squeezes her tightly. Then she takes a step back and fixes her with a hard look. "You've got to tell her that, you know that, Anna May? She is going to run away just to give you space while you are not talking to her because you're afraid she might run anyway."

Anna May sighs and grimaces a little, but nods. "I - tomorrow. I'll tell her tomorrow, before I can chicken out." she sighs. "I mean, it's not like I know whether she'd want to - whether she still-" she sighs. "She only left me because he didn't want to share, but maybe by now she's just over me."

Florence shrugs. "I can't look in her head, Anna, but from the way she looks at you... I think you guys will figure it out."

Anna May nods uncertainty, then frowns again. "And you'd be fine with it, if she's staying here... Indefinitely? I mean, she has a - kid -" she adds with a somewhat perplexed expression on her face, making Florence laugh. She's half of a mind to say 'congrats, you're a step-mom!' but stops herself at the last second. There will be time for that kind of joke when the peace between Anna May and that Scarlet isn't quite so fragile anymore. "Exactly," she instead replies. "So you know Madeleine will be mad at you forever if you let them get away."

Anna May snorts. "She did seem quite... taken by the kid."

Florence nods, frowning a little herself now. "She's always wanted kids, she just accepted that it isn't sensible in our line of work, and that I am not interested in them anyway. Seeing her with Samantha, now I'm wondering..."

"You did nothing wrong," Anna May reassures her. "And fuck, can you imagine having two kids around? It will be bad enough, trying to protect the one from everybody."

Florence sighs and nods. "I suppose. But I'm sure we'll manage. ...are you going to be alright now, or do I have to hide the Whiskey?"

"I'm not a drunk," Anna May replies a little offended, and Florence grins.

"I know you're not, but you sure made a great impression of one earlier!"

Anna May groans, and then she turns back to the counter to refill her waterglass. "Fuck, I'll be so dead tomorrow."

"Sleep in, then. Me 'n Madeleine will make sure Scarlet won't take off before you're awake and had your talk with her."

Anna May nods sharply. Florence smiles and squeezes her arm. "Well, get some sleep. I'll check on Scarlet and Madeleine."

~

Anna May nods again, and Florence sees her lean back against the counter with a deep sigh while she is leaving the kitchen. She really hopes that Anna May will take her advice to heart. Some heartbreak can't be avoided- but the one between her and Scarlet doesn't seem quite so inevitable.

Part 4

@phoenixhalliwell @thesevenwondersofawitch another update, hope you liked it!

If anyone else wants to be tagged for this series, lmk! Not tagging my usual GM tag list in every fic update as that would just be spammy.

Taking prompts!

[paradise-creator]

@ezmariest

hiiii!! I was wondering if I could request a haven box matchup? I’m rlly sorry about submitting it there was too much of a word limit in the ask thing :(

First I’m a bi curious female and I would love a romantic matchup with a male :)

Uh ok I’m really fun and like making weird or random jokes a lot, like a lot humor is kinda my coping mechanism haha😗✌️ I’m very respectful and understanding of other people and I’m really supportive. I’m enthusiastic and talkative with those I’m close with but with other people I’m vv quiet. Im also rlly laid back. A lot of people say I’m really kind or “too nice” and I love helping people or making them laugh. I have a bad tendency to hide my feeling and emotions and usually I block my problems with humor. Many have said I’m very ambitious and I have a lot of goals. I also am pretty insecure and I get down on myself way too much because of a lot of reasons but mostly bc of my high expectations and that I’m a perfectionist. I love sweets

I like goofy or weird people because then I can be myself and I like doing spontaneous and fun things. However I am an introvert so even though I love enthusiastic people, I get drained out when I hang out with too many people for too long. I also don’t like judgmental people, especially if they judge things that others can’t control or others dreams.

Hobbies: I really love sports and I’m pretty athletic. I play volleyball and think it’s fun but my main sport is definetly basketball. I really love drawing and I also love writing. And music is kind of the love of my life and you will always see me daydreaming with my earbuds in just listening to music.

Appearance: I have very long hair that’s really light brown, greenish gray eyes, and rounder features. I’m around 5’8 1/2 and I have an hourglass body but with MUCH more on my thighs and butt😃🤚I and athletic body type and I would say I look ✨sturdy✨and I’m pretty thin everywhere but my thighs and butt like I’ve said before. I value comfort in clothes at the moment so sweatpants and hoodies or just oversized stuff are kinda my go to. However I do want to have a better style which would kinda be a mix of “art hoe” and “alt girl” ahsjhja

Some fun facts about me:

*I love sweets, especially chocolate, and I love nighttime.

*I’m constantly daydreaming and doodling and I get called out on it by my friends.

*I want to be an animator for Disney Pixar when I’m older and My goal is to go to cal arts for college.

*A couple of my favorite songs are eight wonder (lemon demon), rue (girl in red), any mother mother song (but especially “oh Ana”) , and rhinestone eyes (gorillaz)

Ahh sorry I didn’t realize how long this was, thank you so much!! <33

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Hello and Welcome my Starlight!

The Haven box includes:

- Match up

- Sun drop

- Old habits die hard

- His lil' mama

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

I'd match you up with

Nishinoya Yuu, Karasuno's Guardian

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Sun drops

The reasons why I paired you

- SUGAWARA WON'T LEAVE MY MIND AND HE'S ONE OF THE RUNNER UPS XD

- My first thought was Nishinoya but Ushijima and Sugawara said "No ❤️"

- But in the end, I choose Noya!

- You both would just be so cute! Like Yes please

- To him it doesn't matter that you are taller. HE LOVE YOU FOR YOUUUUUUUUUU

-He might be loud and energetic but he really respects your boundaries

- Though, you might have to take care of him more than the other way around, it's a good dynamic

- VERY BALANCED DYNAMIC RIGHT HERE

- You both if often just joke around and it's entertaining really

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Old habits die hard 

Random head canons

-You and Noya would have two day SPECIFICALLY for date time and/or Sharing time

-Those two days depends per week and schedule but there has to be TWO days

-In these days you both would just share your thoughts and feelings

-Noya, being a libero, has a tendency to be observant so he’ll know when you’re down

-He’ll joke around with you to lift up the mood but he will turn serious if needed

-C U D D L E S are a must for dates!

-He doesn’t care that you are taller than him, he actually loves it! (He loves being big spoon tho!)

-JUST LET HIM LOVE YOUUUUUUUU Like please

- He will do anything for your attention, (please just pay attention to him)

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

His Lil' mama

“Lil’ mama! My team wants to meet you. Up for it?” Noya asked his taller lover. He then wrapped his arm around her waist as waited for her answer. “If you want too, sure! I don’t mind,” She replied with a smile. “That’s great! Let’s go!” He then said as he dragged her to the gym. “Wait! Like right now!” She replied as she tried to keep her balance. “Yes! Like right now~” Noya said enthusiastically. Some students stared at the taller female in pity. Nishinoya maybe a well of guy but with someone so shy at first glance, it’s hard to imagine their relationship. “Oh c’mon now babe! Don’t back on me now,” Noya said as he stopped. “I just really want to prove to the guys that you exist and not just a replacement for our goddess!” He declared as he held her hand. “I love you more than the goddess!” He added as he kissed her hand.

The greenish grey eyed girl blush a bit and looked away. The whole school can see how whipped Noya is for this girl. As much as it was a surprised for everyone on how Noya got a girlfriend but at least now Kiyoko has one less thing to worry about. “Let’s go rolling thunder to the gym so I can show you off to my pals,” Noya said as they continued but with a slower pace this time. Once they both reached the gym, everyone froze as they realized that the female was way taller. “That’s just sad. Noya is shorter than his own girlfriend,” Tsukkishima teased. “AND SO? I LOVE IT THAT WAY!” Noya barked. “This is my lil’ mama! My love! MY ONE AND ONLY SO DON’T STEAL HER AWAY!” He added as he smirked. Now his girl was behind him, kind of regretting the decision of coming but it made him happy so it was worth it. “Hello there,” She said with a small wave.

“WOW! NOYA-SAN! HOW DID YOU GET SUCH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL??” Hinata asked as he looked at the female. As time went by, the libero and his lil’mama got along with everyone. It was a bit strange at first as Noya has a girl now. And he isn’t all over Kiyoko like he used to but he still is Noya. The team enjoyed the presence and aura of the two. It was somewhat comforting. Once the whole get together and practice ended, Noya walked his girl home. “So, what did ya think? I’m pretty cool on court, ya?” Noya asked as he looked at her eyes. “You were awesome~ Can I watch your practice from now own?” She asked as she hook their arms together. Noya blushed a bit and smiled brightly. “Of course you can, Babe! No one’s stopping you,” He then said as he kissed her cheek. “Plus, having you there, I have my own cheerleader to keep me motivated,” He added as he chuckled. “So I won’t be a distraction?” She asked teasingly as she remembered what happened a few moments ago.

“OKAY LOOK I WAS ADMIRING YOUR BEAUTY AND FORGOT I WAS ON COURT!” Noya said as he huffed. “Plus, I receive the ball anyway. So I did my job,” He added with a soft smile. And then he knew that she was the one for him. Forever and always, that’s what he believes.

───✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ───

Author's note

I'm sorry if it took so long! I was at school. But I hope you enjoy this one and thanks for requesting~

[wetalkinboutbooks]

Deathless Divide by Justina Ireland

Summary:  The sequel to Dread Nation is a journey of revenge and salvation across a divided America.

After the fall of Summerland, Jane McKeene hoped her life would get simpler: Get out of town, stay alive, and head west to California to find her mother.

But nothing is easy when you're a girl trained in putting down the restless dead, and a devastating loss on the road to a protected village called Nicodemus has Jane questioning everything she thought she knew about surviving in 1880's America.

What's more, this safe haven is not what it appears - as Jane discovers when she sees familiar faces from Summerland amid this new society. Caught between mysteries and lies, the undead, and her own inner demons, Jane soon finds herself on a dark path of blood and violence that threatens to consume her.

But she won't be in it alone.

Katherine Deveraux never expected to be allied with Jane McKeene. But after the hell she has endured, she knows friends are hard to come by - and that Jane needs her, too, whether Jane wants to admit it or not.

Watching Jane's back, however, is more than she bargained for, and when they both reach a breaking point, it's up to Katherine to keep hope alive - even as she begins to fear that there is no happily-ever-after for girls like her (Taken from Goodreads)

Our Ratings:  

 → Geena:  ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

 → Kae: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ x1000

Overall: A killer sequel to Dread Nation, you’re constantly on the edge of your seat and each chapter is a new layer of stress. There’s never a moment of rest and repose because Justina Ireland hooks you with the first chapter and doesn’t let go until you’ve turned the last page.

~ Check out the spoiler-full review/plot discussion below!

The Bad: 

→ Redjack and Redfern

Geena: We’re starting with the bad because as Kae said ‘So much bad happens before the good’ and that’s the best way to describe this book. Let’s start off with our fave rogue from Dread Nation who turns out to be a WHOLE BITCH!!! Once Jane and Katherine and Co. get out of Summerland and meet up with him to plan their next move, Jane and them want to go to Nicodemus (a safe town run by a black man and a council of freed slaves and indigenous ppl). Redjack is like ‘it’s an overpopulated place let’s not’ but Jane isn’t dumb and sniffs out that there’s something else, and after Katherine and Jane both needle him we find out that… THIS BITCH IS MARRIED… AND HAS BEEN FOR A WHILE?????? ALL THE WHILE HE WAS FLIRTING AND MACKING ON JANE HE WAS MARRIED????????????? This is the start of the downfall of men in this book, it only gets worse from here… Jane confronts him about being played and he’s basically like ‘Jane you’re fun and all but like you’d never settle down, I seen you fighting and stuff just because you want to… I need a home for Lily’... and like… ok.... Jane is immediately like ‘He wanted a doormat’ and I DIED… but karma works fast and he gets bit by a shambler literally the same night lmao… and guess who kills him? JANE.. though it’s quite emotional because she had feelings for him. 

Jane also steals one of his letters when she kills him and kjnsfdskj we find out his wife is preggers but who’s gonna tell her that Redjack is capital d DEAD...  

Kae: Alright. MF’n REDJACK. This man… With his cute ass… He was just TRASH. A real fuckboy and Geena summed him up perfectly. I was like, a lil sad to see him go? But good riddance to him for playing my Janey Jane. She may be a tough-ass, but she absolutely has feelings (THAT SHE DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO COPE WITH) but still. She has feelings. 

So now, let’s talk about Redfern’s shady ass. I’ve always side-eyed Redfern. I didn’t trust him. I had a very hard time trusting him because how you gone help The White Man ™  help enslave black and other indigenous peoples for your own gain? Like, boy fuck you. Shady ass. He’s the one that transported Jane, Katherine, and Red Jack to Summerland in the first place. So it was definitely a shock to see his fool ass in Nicodemus as the damn SHERIFF. LIKE WHO TF?

Geena: RIGHT I WAS LIKE WHY IS HE EVERYWHERE? IS HE CLONING HIMSELF??

Kae: And like, he jails Jane because when her and the gang arrive, the surviving folks of Summerland blame her for the small settlement falling to the dead. Redfern is like “Look, Jane. I know you ain’t do that shit. But I gotta jail you so they can stfu. You’ll get a fair trial.” And Jane doesn’t trust this and neither do I. Because black people didn’t get a fair ANYTHING back then. (We still don't) BUT THAT’S ANOTHER STORY. ANYWAAAAAAAY. Jane catches Redfern shooting the breeze with Miss Duncan and they eventually set her free. All the while, Katherine, a few homies they met in Summerland, and a few homies from Miss Prestons, are planning to break Jane out and BOUNCE. When Jane and Katherine finally reunite, Katherine is like “JANE. MY BESTIE. I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU!” And Jane is like “Lol, yikes. We’re not even friends wtf?” Because again, Jane can’t handle feelings or people genuinely caring about her. That has a bit to do with mommy issues. NOW.  Jane has been trying to tell the council of Nicodemus that the horde of zombies will break down the wall that protects the city. But they’re like “HURR DURR SHUT UUUUP. We have machine guns. And that Gideon scientist boy has been keeping up gucci.” And Jane knows walls don’t hold forever. So she’s like we need to get TF up out of here. So she starts making a plan… And that’s when shit starts going south.

Geena: Like Kae said, Redfern is a traitor in all sense of the word… The only time he seems normal is when he’s hardcore crushing on Miss Duncan, but even then… He ends up telling Jane that he only cares about self-preservation and that’s why he’ll stab even his own mother in the back if it means he’ll be safe… OKAY HE DOESN’T SAY THAT BUT REDFERN 100% WOULD… Well kARMA GOT IT’S KISS FOR REDFERN TOO bc when Nicodemus falls, Miss Duncan also turns shambler so kjndsfkjsdfnsd

He ends up being a double agent near the end of the book, pretending to be Jane and Katherine’s ally, only to turn them over to the VILLAIN.. But then also helps them escape? A very morally questionable character and also another example of Deathless Divide saying ‘men aint shit’.

Kae: He triple crossed their asses. Triple agent mf 

→ The Fall of Nicodemus 

Kae: WHEWWWW. The fall of Nicodemus was something else. I knew it was going to happen, but damn, it was bad. So, we have bitchboy Gideon, who Jane has taken a bit of a liking to. And he wants her to convince the rest of the town to get a ‘Shambler Vaccine’ to protect them. She refuses because she has no idea if the vaccine really works. At least, not yet she does. So at some point, Gideon convinces all the people of Nicodemus to get vaccinated. But he vaccinates all of the original inhabitants of Nicodemus first, then the assholes from Summerland. But the thing is, he runs out of vaccines by the time he has to vaccinate the Summerland folk, and they’re being PISSY about it like “waaaaa, you vaccinated all the black folks before us, WAAA IM A FUCKIN BABY” so he hurries and makes a quick vaccine. Well, THIS QUICK BATCH TURNS THE FOLKS OF SUMMERLAND INTO ZOMBIES. THIS DUMBASS BITCHASS GIDEON TURNS THE DAMN PEOPLE. So he and Miss Duncan stuff them all in a barn or whatever, then DESTROYYYYYY the fence/wall in the back of the town to try to lead them out. Redfern helps too, I think. And then shit. Gets. Real. The machine gun they had isn’t holding them off and some damn zombies done came around the back entrance they created by destroying the fence, and they start CHOMPIN. 

Geena: AS KAE SAID… GIDEON AND DUMBITCH CO. MADE A WHOLE BACKDOOR FOR THE ZOMBIES IN AN ATTEMPT TO COVER UP HIS OWN MISTAKE… Reading about the fall was really sad, because this group of well meaning people WHO BTW AREN’T WHITE, that established a community where black and indigenous folk can find SOME SEMBLANCE of justice is overrun by zombies bc of a bitchass white boy’s hubris. So, the zombies get through the backdoor and as Jane and Katherine are slicing and dicing they stumble onto the group they traveled with.. Who also turned.. And Jane has to kill that little baby boy because he too, got turned into a zombie… Also, during the fall of Nicodemus Jane gets bit :( and separates from Katherine and Co. to die alone at the sheriff’s office… But then she doesn't… because back in book 1 when Gideon gave her a vaccine… it worked. So, Jane wakes up to Gideon… the last person she wants to see… who is basically gloating about his vaccine working and he’s making excuses for himself? Callie (a new friend) tries to kill Gideon, but he escapes and she ends up helping Jane instead… where Jane loses her arm :( 

Literally, a White Man’s ego can destroy a whole town built on the blood and sweat of freed slaves and indigenous people, JUST BECAUSE he thinks he knows better… 

Kae: So like, when Jane wakes up, she threatens to kill Gideon, even though she’s sick and basically puking the zombie virus out of her. While Gideon is gloating, Callie (Jane’s friend and future girlfriend) shoots towards Gideon, but misses. She then cuts off Jane’s bitten arm. The two of them spend a bit of time in the fallen Nicodemus, looking at all of the zombiefied townspeople and healing so they can leave. They both want to track down Gideon and KILL HIS ASS. Which I support. And now we venture into PART 2 OF THE BOOK BAYBEEEEE. 

The Ugly

→ Gideon

Kae: WE’RE GOING TO OFFICIALLY TALK ABOUT BITCHASS, SKANK-ASS GIDEON. Dawg, when I tell you I HAAATED this man, I mean it. I have never wanted a character to die more than I wanted Gideon to parish. This man caused the fall of not one, but MULTIPLE TOWNS AND THE WHOLE DAMN CITY OF SAN FRANCISCO. 

After the fall of Nicodemus, Jane and Callie set out to track down Gideon. On their tracking adventures, Jane becomes a bounty hunter in order to make money so she can continue on her search for Gideon. Jane is like, a hundred times more badass now. She’s a one armed, zombie slaying, bounty hunter that kills people who have done immense wrong to others. She and Callie learn through their travels that Gideon escaped safely and went on to get funded by some rich folk. In Gideon’s own escapades, he has caused the fall of another small town. And guess how he did that? This IDIOT vaccinated another town and they all turned ‘Shambler’ (zombie). Then he fucks off and escapes so he can’t get in trouble. Jane and Callie make it to California, where Jane hopes to reunite with her mother. There, she kills a man, which pisses Callie off. So while they’re shacked up in a hotel, Callie leaves while Jane is sleeping. And Callie’s punk ass takes all of Jane’s money with her, leaving Jane without anything but the clothes on her back. 

Geena: We don’t stan Callie in this house. If she loved Jane that much she would’ve left her SOME money wtf

Kae: TRUE. SO FUCK, CALLIE. LIL BIIIEEETCH. But yeah, Callie dips tf out and leaves Jane with nothing. Callie DID give Jane the option to come with her and start a new life, but Jane is kind of being fueled by her revenge and it’s blinded her. I feel bad too because Jane is also being haunted by Redjack’s ghost. So there’s that. 

Geena: Gideon the perfect example why ~intellectual~ men don’t deserve ANY rights. He’s so obsessed with his own research and bullshit, he thinks that no one knows what’s best for humanity other than him, that he brings about death and destruction wherever he goes. He’s the reason Nicodemus falls, he’s also the reason that the West Coast (which is seen as shambler free because it’s protected by mountains) also falls… BECAUSE THIS BITCH CAUSES ANOTHER SHAMBLER OUTBREAK with a faulty vaccine. When Jane and Callie decided to hunt him down I was like LIVING!!! LIKE KILL THAT WHITE BOY!! Who cares for nothing other than being successful… Also, the fact that every boy Jane has thought to be cute was trash is killing me… Girl… needs better taste HONESTLY…

Also, while trying to make himself look like a Sad Boy he forcefully injects his vaccine into Katherine… WHICH ALMOST KILLS HER, but SIIIKKEE because Katherine ends up killing him instead 😎 I personally wanted his death to be WORSE and more PAINFUL for all the shit he’s done but Justina Ireland kept it SHORT and Sweet. 

The Good

→ Jane and Katherine

Geena: THE ONE… THE ONE GOOD THING THAT CAME OUT OF THIS DUOLOGY… JANE AND KATHERIN’S FRIENDSHIP… LITERAL RIDE OR DIES... BC JANE TECHNICALLY DIES AT ONE POINT LMAO

Like Kae mentioned earlier, Katherine has fully accepted Jane as a friend by the time they get to Nicodemus, but Jane is still unsure (kinda thinks she isn’t a friend type of person). Katherin reaffirms that she will be there for Jane, but Jane is like Sideyes… But, as the story progresses, after Jane “dies” Katherine spends the rest of the novel constantly thinking of Jane and wishing she had said more.  ALL THE WHILE JANE is killing her way to the West Coast.

When they do meet though it kinda hurt because Jane is essentially like ‘Sorry, the old Jane can’t come to the phone right now... because she’s dead’ and Katherine is like ?????????. Jane believes herself to be a monster, because um… she’s just been bounty hunting bad people and because she’s driven by her rage against Gideon - IMO I don’t think that would’ve made her heartless or a monster, but Callie reiterates that she doesn’t like Jane like that (as a killer)… obviously, her resolve was weaker than Jane’s but n e ways. Katherine is also like ‘omg Jane killed that dude without remorse’ (Jane kills a r*pist in front of her, but Katherine doesn’t know what he did). REGARDLESS, uNLIKE SOMEONE (Callie) Katherine doesn’t give up on Jane and accompanies her wherever Jane goes because she knows she can bring back the old Jane and… when I tell you a bitch was emotional :’) AND ALSO THE ENDING WAS BEAUTIFUL though bittersweet

Kae: Okay, let me just say, from the bottom of my heart, that I absolutely adore Jane and Katherine’s friendship. Jane thinks it was built on their shared experience of being kidnapped, but in reality, it was built on their respect for each other. When Kate first saw Jane, she was SHOOK. And Jane was like ‘oh fuck, be cool. Act like you don’t care.’ and so that happened, as Geena explained above. But Katherine stuck around because that’s her best friend and you never give up on your best friend when they’re going through something. 

Jane continues to be a meanass to Kate, but Katherine ignores it to the best of her ability and pulls her knickers up and keeps by Jane’s side. In this, Katherine notices that Jane calls her by her full name instead of just “Kate”, which was something Jane always did because she knew it annoyed Katherine. So when Jane starts to let down her guard, she slips up and calls her “Kate” and this takes Katherine to the moon! She’s so excited to see her Jane coming back! But Jane is like “whoops, I'm showing feelings. Can’t let that shit happen” and she hunkers back down. 

While Jane was off being dead and bounty hunting, Katherine was on a boat (but I don’t remember doing what) with Lily and Sue (Sue is from Miss Prestons and Nicodemus) and her new friend, a man named Carolina. When they get to California, they realize that it’s not as black friendly as they’d hoped, but it’s presumably safe so that’s what matters. Katherine here’s that San Francisco might offer them a better life, so she and her gang make the trip to get there. That’s when they run into Jane and all the above happens. 

One of my favourite parts is Carolina not liking Jane because his first introduction is killing a man without hesitation. But Katherine is like “Pfffft, oh that’s just Jane! It’s FINE!” all the while internally she’s like ‘omgomgomg wtf’. And that’s when Katherine agrees to help Jane kill Gidon and also find her mother. 

In the end, they kill Gideon’s horrible ass and end up finding Jane’s mother safe and sound in a small settlement in the mountains called New Haven. Jane’s mother is happy to see Jane, but is totally dismissive of Jane's experience and all she had to do to get to her mother again. I felt really bad for Jane because she did EVERYTHING to get back to her mother and her mom was a DICK. Anyway, Jane leaves with Redfern so they can find a new place (as reluctant homies, not as a couple) and Katherine is like “AYO, YOU JUST GONE LEAVE ME WITHOUT SAYING GOODBYE, BITCH? I SAID I’M YOUR BEST FRIEND SO WHERE WE GOIN!?” And then all three of them prance off into the sunset with a new goal of finding a better life and man, a bitch (aka me and Geena) were CRYIIIIING because it was so sweet and we just love two best friends who are down for one another.  

Geena: YEEEEEEESSSSSSS, the ending was bittersweet because like Kae mentioned, Jane had been searching for her mother and her Aunt Aggie hoping to find comfort in their arms. But.. when she got to New Haven, the old life she had been desperately longing for was no longer there. Aunt Aggie was dead and her mother had remarried, and like Kae said, she ignored everything Jane had been through- not wanting to share in her daughter’s sorrows. Jane quickly realized that this wasn’t the place for her, and up and leaves, and this is where the sweetness comes in because the whole scene of Katherine running after Jane 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 Like I had been so scared Justina Ireland wouldn’t give them a happy ending, because how can a zombie story end happily, but this was A LOT better than what I had expected… a bitch (Kae and I SDJKFNSD) teared up.. Just wanna thank Kae for hyping up this sequel before I read it because wow… IT REALLY LIVED UP TO THE HYPE 

Conclusion

Geena: Like I said before, this is one of the best sequels I’ve read. Usually, books end up falling flat when you get to the second but Justina Ireland didn’t fall into the same trap. We finally get Katherine’s POV and get to learn why she insists on wearing a corset, and that she’s not as perfect as Jane believed. There’s heart-stopping action and Jane kicking major ass and truly being The Devil’s Bride. Overall, once I finished this I was like Head Empty because I couldn’t read anything afterwards because I had to take time to digest the wild ride the book had been. Also, one of the biggest takeaways (other than ‘white ppl ain’t shit’) was ‘Men don’t deserve rights’ and honestly? Same.  

Kae: So there we have it! The story ended beautifully and I really, really enjoyed it. I still haven’t been able to read anything after finishing it because it was just THAT GOOD. It’s been about a month since I finished it and I’m still reeling from how beautifully written it was. It was really refreshing to read about two black women who had FEELINGS and were able to express them to the reader (because they had a hard time expressing them to each other lmao) and it was just really nice. Katherine’s backstory was great about how she was born in a brothel house and her mother tried to teach her that if she found the right man, she’d be fine. But Katherine didn’t want that. She wanted a life where she could provide for herself and be independent. What she brought with her from her old life was her corset and she wore because she basically felt it would hold her together and suppress her anxiety. 

Geena: Also, reading about the corset again can I say one of my fave details was Sue helping Katherine loosen it whenever they were in a fight… like the moment Jane disappeared Sue was there to help Katherine and support her …. Sue… the most underrated character AND THE FACT SHE GOT HER HAPPY ENDING MARRIED TO A MANS!!!!  

Kae: Jane learned, unfortunately, that not all things are golden. Her old life that she so desperately wanted a taste of, had gone sour. Her mother was no help to Jane and couldn’t even give her the smallest of sympathies. Those two things were initially what kept Jane going (along with her Aunt Aggie), until Gideon showed up and started doing dumb shit. What Jane also learned though, was that people do care about her and even though Katherine wasn’t blood, she was her family and truly loved Jane for who she was, flaws and all. 

It’s a beautiful story about two black women finding themselves and forming an unbreakable friendship. It’s more than fighting zombies and more than surviving. It’s about LIVING and finding a way to deal with all of the problems and anxieties they face along the way. It's a great story and I urge everyone to read it. Yes, it’s fictional history about zombies. BUT, it is very telling of the time period it takes place in and Justina didn’t sugar coat any of the prejudices Black people and Indigenous peoples went through back then and I appreciated that. Deathless Divide is beautiful and poetic and heartwarming in the best of way. <3