#and how people who have difficulty communicating deserve just as much love and respect as everyone else.

[andthebeanstalk]

Y'ALL last night i spent a total of 2 minutes tops on my appearance and then went to a lesbian bar full of attractive people anyway, got up onstage during an event about sharing stories of queer joy, openly wept almost the entire time I was up there, and I STILL managed to give a good performance and come away feeling charming!

And THEN a troupe of improv actors and a pianist put on a short and very sweet sketch based on what I had said about the joy of seeing elder Trans folk in public as a disabled Trans person.

And I hope the queer elder I saw there really felt that love especially. I felt the troupe's performance really did me justice, and it was so beautiful.

But also, y'all, I was still able to crack jokes that got the whole room laughing WHILE I WAS CRYING!!! - A skill I'm just realizing I probably polished while I was in intensive group trauma therapy lol. Shout out to all my fellow IOP/PHP buckaroos in the chat!

and the best part about this little performance of mine? My most favorite-est proudest little detail?

It was easy. It was EASY!?!?!? IT WAS EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As in, the words I wanted came so naturally that I was able to deliver them with excellent timing on split-second judgment!!!!

Do you know what that means to me??? Oh I am so proud of this little Jack here! He who worked so so hard for a thing like that! I worked so much and for so long, and I shall - no, I MUST - celebrate the precious joy and pride of having achieved this childhood dream!

Oh to tell Younger Jack that he would be able to do such a thing one day! That sweet anxious confused child would feel such relief just to know it can be done! What a wonderful victory! It felt so good!

Life is fucking hard and dreams can come and go, but I can say that in this way at least I have become the kind of person I always dreamed I would be. ❤

AND I know that if I had rolled low on my charisma throw [i.e. made a social mistake] - which I have done, often do, and SHALL AGAIN [see profile picture] - I could have brushed it off with the ease of an old actor who knows that performance has only ever been the business of consensually making oneself look like a fool!

.... Or perhaps I would have processed my mistake with the knowledge of a fellow who has been to enough poetry slams to know that a kind and loving audience in a vulnerable safe space generally just responds to a performer's nervousness/awkwardness/difficulty communicating by rooting for them! I knew I was in a space where people wanted to see me do well, and that helped a lot. Bless those people for making that space. ❤❤❤

This post is not focused on my many MANY grateful and loving emotions about elder queers because, as I may have mentioned, I've sort of already expressed a lot of feelings about that for one 24-hour period. 😅

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for loveless aro systems and headmates!

There are many aromantic folks out there who not only don’t experience romantic attraction, but also any form of love. For systems who are loveless aros, they may find themselves lonely, excluded, or isolated from their communities as a result of how they identify. However, loveless aros deserve to be uplifted, respected, and treated with kindness in our communities! So here’s to all the loveless aro systems and headmates out there!

If you, your headmate, or your whole system doesn’t experience or understand love of any sort, we want to remind you that you are still worthy of decency and kindness just the way you are!

Have you struggled with making friends because you simply can’t grow to love them? Do you have difficulties seeing eye to eye with your family because you can’t seem to love them the way they love you? Do you have trouble fitting into a society that centers and glorifies romance over many other things, and takes for granted that all people experience love?

If so, we are so sorry you’ve had to deal with this. Rest assured you don’t need to love your friends or family to cherish and appreciate them. You don’t need to love the people in your life in order to treat them with respect and kindness, and ask that they do the same in return! Love is not a prerequisite to being treated like a being worthy of care and compassion.

You don’t even need to love your headmates in order to grow stronger together, uplift each other, and learn to work together as a team! It’s okay if you don’t feel love towards the other members of your system. What matters more than our feelings are our actions, and this is even and especially true for you and your headmates! You absolutely can take care of each other and wish the best for each other, even if no one in your system ever feels love in any form or fashion!

We hope that as life goes on, you can learn to accept yourself as you are and stand proud in your identity as a loveless aro. We hope that you can find yourself surrounded with people who care about you, who don’t expect love in return for kindness. You will always belong in the plural community as long as you want to be here! We value your perspective, and want to celebrate and uplift you however we can.

As always, thank you so much for reading! Take care of yourselves, and have a great day!

(Image ID:) A pale orange userbox with a cluster of multicolored flowers for the userbox image. The border and text are both dark orange, and the text reads “all plurals can interact with this post!” (End ID.)

[9800sblog]

horoscope tarot reading

energy of each zodiac sign this week [july 10 - 16]

you should read about your:

• ascendant/rising sign - for the events happening in your life and your patterns of behavior this week.

• moon sign - for your personal perspectives and introspection.

• sun sign - for how you might react to all of it.

ARIES

you're being called to think and ponder before acting, because your energy is quite immature this week. you may have some triggers of childhood traumas, so focusing on your passions and what you do well would do you and others around you well. your hurting is valid, but you should know you have control of your narrative and changing the way you look at things will bring you the fulfillment you deserve. I applaud your courage, just don't use it to be reckless!

cigarettes & alcohol - oasis

key words: flat tire, bumpy road, responsibilities, fight, parent x offspring, learning, cheese, wild.

TAURUS

lazy and happy. your occupation may suck but you're finally seeing some return. this week, you shall rest well at home with your close ones. it's a good week for comfort, I don't see many obligations, and if there is for some of you, I still see really good relaxation time.

windy day - oh my girl

american teen - khalid

key words: storm, tv in the afternoon, birds chirping, pajamas, cookies, sofa, family lunch, blanket.

GEMINI

working with a difficult boss makes you so tired, communication is difficult between you. I see you really tired and tense wanting to give up, but you're strong and focused, although you have difficulty focusing this week. your friends are the best thing in your life, count on them to free your burdens. you may get sick by the end of the week.

nice boys - guns n' roses

key words: work, yawning, listening, complaining, heavy body, learning.

CANCER

same old, same old. cancers are currently having birthdays, you guys may worry about getting older, feeling like your life is flashing by you. someone who's opinions matter a lot to you may cheer you up, directly or not. you're worried your celebration will be sad and lacking in love, but your thoughts are only making it look worse than it actually is! don't worry too much, the people who love you are always around you.

boys don't cry - the cure

key words: elders, sun is always bright, spiritual messages, ghosts, support, bad gifts or advices, crying on your birthday, strength.

LEO

you may lose sight of your passion this week and realize you're only doing things for the money, your inner child not very happy with the process of being an adult. trying to be patient and confident while trying to show respect to those that pay your bills. you're emotionally overwhelmed because of material things, but your abilities are shining this week, you're very good at what you do.

chin check - n.w.a.

key words: eye roll, overbearing people, gluttony, pointy objects, shaky legs, frustration, babies, nutritious food.

VIRGO

definitely practicing patience, specially with other people. you feel like those around are attacking your privacy and not letting you do your own thing, misinterpreting your actions into something that is totally opposite of you. wait, your favorite person will help you feel better and you'll end the week with confidence and good work.

gift & a curse - megan thee stallion

key words: admirer, stoicism, check mark, caged, impressions, dream, hurry.

LIBRA

not seeing eye to eye with someone, but feeling confident. a new idea or solution coming up makes it all feel harmonious again, you're worried about things that aren't real, making up struggles, I see that coming to an end. the end of trying to juggle a million ideas in your head, it all feels realistically better and you may feel silly about it, embarrassed. double standards for yourself vs others.

the sweet escape - gwen stefani

rehab - amy winehouse

key words: anxiety, worried of criticism, not thinking deeply, silly cats, "seriously? -_-".

SCORPIO

at first, you won't see how bad something actually is, devil in disguise, wolf in sheep's clothing, you're not running away from your troubles, it's uncomfortable but you tackle it face forward, you'll change the situation quickly, freeing yourself from other's thoughts and opinions as you try to figure out what's best for you. focusing on the darkest parts of yourself, cutting some people off, shadow work, assertiveness. do you have authority over your own life? good friends help you gain stability, harmful ones make you feel on edge, always in competition or stress. you'll enjoy being real and firm.

phonography - britney spears

key words: structure, loneliness heals, maturing, growing up, finding trust, physical pain, being yourself, assured.

SAGITTARIUS

you start the week with excitement and playfulness, taking in many responsibilities, you'll get tired quickly wrapping yourself in work. your friends and family will help you and as the social being you are, you'll get energized and confident (still physically tired). make sure to pay attention to your eating! there seems to be a reward by the end of the week.

fashion killa - a$ap rocky

key words: small smile, high horse, work fun, healing wounds, ponytail, celebrated.

CAPRICORN

you're straight to the point. you're so focused on what you can see and touch, you're not feeling your emotions and ignoring the potential there is everywhere around you for extreme fulfillment. you're so obsessed with the way that things are "supposed to be like" that you're leaving behind things that you shouldn't leave, you're running and hiding from your own potential and happiness. your worries talking way louder than reality. the solution is right in front of you, but you're just watching, pondering, admiring it instead of investing in it. just do it, I'm so frustrated with this energy!!!! kkkkkkk you're so by the book, by the rules, just do stuff, you play too safe that it harms and cages you.

speak now - taylor swift

summertime - my chemical romance

key words: plant/stem cutting, smirk, focus, happiness matters, YES, determination, dwelling.

AQUARIUS

very effective and quick witted, also super weird. you're focused on yourself so other's opinions are just not important right now, you can't even hear it. the week seems to be going great for you, an exciting, healing and fun time. there is a lot of progress in your work and/or studies, best friends and family being harmonious and loving. lot of people may try to break you down, but you know they are so lame and embarassing, why listen to them?

paradisin' - rina sawayama

key words: just lots of fun and good inner child healing.

PISCES

you're trying your best to not have troubles, getting some help from someone who understands your situation will definitely be effective, they'll bring a different perspective, their intelligence and interpretations are admirable. keep it simple with your wardrobe to feel confident.

sparks fly - taylor swift

key words: hippie style, hair on fire, water cup, getting up from bed, new idea, superstar, love.

[i-write-hurt-not-comfort]

Now a chance for you to talk about reijiruki. What do you think they have similarity wise and difference wise?

i’m really bad at structuring these posts so i’m just gonna waffle. 

// general game spoilers

the first thing i really like about reijiruki is that, in my opinion at least, they both have the same love language! i think it’s pretty clear that both of them show their love by acts of service. making their s/o tea or food. i also love the times ruki eats yui’s burnt food and i think that just shows that he really appreciates the thought. 

i can imagine a reijiruki relationship just... constantly being them doing things for each other. like, look i cleaned the house, look i made dinner, look i arranged your precious plate/book collection <3 but they’re both not actually great with words so they keep going back and forth but that’s how they communicate their love. 

i don’t think ruki looks up to reiji as much as sees him as an equal. i think it’s a shame that ruki rivals w/ ayato in his routes because i want reijiruki! i get why, but damn i wanna see ruki competing with reiji. ruki competes with reiji BECAUSE he sees himself as an equal. and reiji gets caught off-guard because ruki treats him like an equal. 

generally in canon, reiji seems to look up to ruki quite a lot? especially in more blood when he just casually rocks up to the mukami manor with yui and is like “hey can i stay here, also have this highly valuable item” and ruki is like ??? okay?? also in reiji’s lost eden, he really appreciates ruki’s input! and when ruki says sth like “i will follow you, reiji sakamaki, who follows his feelings” or something. it’s really sweet and it’s like ruki finally accepting reiji for who he is. and since reiji really respects ruki, i can imagine that meant a lot to him. 

ruki is quite cocky and although reiji looks up to him a lot, i think ruki would be the first to fall. like he spends to much time thinking about reiji and why reiji is like that towards him and BAM, instant crush. but reiji would take a long ass time to realise he likes reiji too. and from then on, they just... compete for each other’s attention. they would try to impress each other and it’d bounce back and forth for ages until one of them sucks it up and confesses. 

reiji and ruki both take a long time to admit their feelings and we see that in canon too. ESPECIALLY ruki, although reiji does it too. in more blood and lost eden when reiji can’t understand his feelings, he pulls away but he usually regrets it. i will always think about the CG where reiji cries over yui. 

ruki is worse with this, though. in dark fate, he takes his feelings out on yui because he can’t understand them. lost eden hurts me the most, the way he completely withdraws from yui when he’s struggling w/ the karlheinz stuff because he just can’t bring himself to talk about. so, they’re not big talkers. 

in a relationship situation, i think this could be an issue because they wouldn’t ever want to admit to anything being wrong. they don’t to seem less to the other people because they value their opinion so damn much. both reiji and ruki would notice something is wrong with the other too but they keep chugging on and avoiding talking about it because NEITHER of them can communicate it!

however i do think once it’s out there, they could talk things out quite well. they’re stubborn but i think they would compromise with each other. it’s just getting it out there which takes time. 

finally, i wanna talk about why both of them have difficulty forming meaningful relationships and why having each other as equals would be really revolutionary. 

ruki has a higher self-esteem than reiji and i will die on this hill. obviously ruki doesn’t love himself a whole lot but reiji has very bitter feelings towards himself. reiji grew up second to shu, constantly thinking something was missing and that he was missing this love-deserving quality. nobody could love him, he was second to shu. he was never enough. 

i think reiji as a kid learnt to just... not see much of himself and that’s why he grows up so arrogant and cold. he doesn’t like himself at all so if he’s uptight and bitter and it’s how he gets by. it’s the only image of himself he can deal with. 

ruki’s major issue is taking accountability. like, he just sucks at that. in more blood, he’s a dick to yui for the most part. when he can’t become adam he blames ayato, he blames the fact he’s not a full vampire. and like, yeah, that’s why he can’t be adam but damn ruki, even if you COULD, you wouldn’t be. because ur being a dick. 

and you know, ruki had a really hard upbringing. his mother had an affair, his father committed suicide. i understand why he doesn’t want to blame himself for things going wrong but it definitely gets in the way of him actually being honest with other people because in his head it’s never him that’s the problem. 

in dark fate, it’s shin’s fault. it’s yui’s fault. it’s his brothers fault for failing their task to karlheinz. but it’s never ruki’s fault, is it? no, this bitch doesn’t apologise for anything until dark epilogue in dark fate. i think that’s the turning point for him and yui’s relationship and it’s BECAUSE he finally took accountability for what he’d done wrong. 

i think in my head i like to see reijiruki as being one of the less problematic ships but realistically, they’d be pretty difficult for each other before they paid attention to their different. ruki could definitely be a dick about things and act like he’s right and because reiji has such low self-esteem, he either gives in or gets bitter about it and then they argue. a lot of the time i think they’d take a long time to reach agreements. 

with that said, neither ruki and reiji are physically violent and neither of them are openly suicidal. makes them smoother than subakou i think. 

wow this was long. i really fucking love reijiruki. 

[lilac-udon]

romance blue print for this au, it’s really fiction

I never think this through

sunny -> basil-yes in love but stupid, definitely like basil accompany bc he is lonely but deny most feelings towards him, at first it’s bc he thinks basil is human, then the I’m just the worst person I caused death. Both of them are mentally ill so they never communicate their affection because reason

Later part he give up whatever they are and just go with basil , he knows he likes him and basil seem like happy to follow whatever sunny desire, he is indecisive because of mari, which later he felt better w basil which caused conflict in his mind

basil->sunny- obsessed with the idea of death, but also slowly got attached of the changes of someone can and only ever be aside without leaving or dying before him, he would followed whatever ppl wants, a bit of unaware selfish tendencies shows when he wants sunny attention to himself , same as sunny, unspoken rules but very comfortable getting comfy with him , actually really stressed out getting actual indication of others loving him

Kel -> basil- in love with basil. He idealizes starting a family or being with someone because of loneliness, and how his father and mother relationship. Problems is not knowing basil enough, and basil intentionally hiding info about himself form kel because don’t want to hurt him or think they will keep this way and kel passion will fade . They are really nice to each other . Kel just always thought he love basil and whatever happened he just wanted basil happiness (so if sunny and basil became a thing, good for them) it actually goes more and more neutral till the day he got heartbroken

I got tired and this make no sense

Omori ->basil-not much opinion, good food and interesting, noting beyond that, also not letting sunny be with basil is what sunny deserves

Omori->sunny- (middle finger if he could) think sunny a cat and too indecisive, don’t really want to care about him but they sadly share a body, actually still listen to sunny wishes, even though he won’t admit, really rough ways but he is the one trying to take care of sunny , he is very hungry

Basil ->omori- the more straightforward person that is alike sunny, acts more childish, wants to take care

Sunny->omori- who ? to, other me please help me , acceptance, try to make Omori less aggressive, but like how

Kel-> sunny- respectful and sorry for him, best friend, actually someone who understands him, and plays with him sometimes(kel -wow i thought I was childish, never know your too) deep bond

Aubrey-> sunny- respectful (not saying, and just a bit fan girl, just a tiny bit) sunny and Aubrey is more like study group or teacher student for my blue prints, yet to be finished

Sunny->Aubrey- really pretty person but I felt like she hate me, worried about her, try to warn her

Kel-> Aubrey- friend, got tempter but funny and nice to talk to, sometimes wisdom sometimes just fooling around, helping her with her stuff

Aubrey->kel - stupid wolf boy, actually good companion but won’t admit, hope him have a better future them her

Basil-> Aubrey- jealous, if I’m a woman would sunny like me more , a little scared of her because she always seems angry towards him

Aubrey-> Basil- jealous, you will never die , why can’t I be like you , also other complicated emotion (? yet to be finished

Hero-> kel- deeply sorry but don’t know how to fix their relationship after he been avoiding the problem, busy doing other stuff to occupy his goalless life, he isn’t really trying to fix it because he’s really busy, everything in his life seems perfect besides himself and the incident he hurts kel

Kel -> hero- it hurts a bit but get a life on his own, happy to see his bother succeed, feel like he needs to be happy about his current life but has difficulty to communicate with hero, he knows but he doesn’t know how to

hero-> mari-admired/ also a lot of emotion I don’t want to talk about bc spoilers and I felt people would just get the wrong idea, yet to finish

Mari -> hero- the same ,yet to reveal

Mari-> sunny- complicated ,yet to reveal

The blueprint element will be: protective, plan B

[fangirleaconmigo]

I'm sorry about your friend. It's clear you loved her lots.

Thank you so much. I really did. For those who didn’t see, one of my friends recently passed.

We fell out of touch the last few years when she moved, but that distance did not make me care about, love, or admire her any less.

Mari was a hero for me, and I feel like a lot of you on here would get that. So I'm gonna share a bit about who she was and what she meant to me.

TW: suicide, homophobia

Mari was lesbian, born into a deeply conservative Mormon family and community. She did an interview with Out Sports when she had finally broken free of her church and her marriage. In that interview, you can feel how deeply she loved her family and wanted to be loved in return. How badly she wanted to be 'good' and 'acceptable' and how traumatic it was for her to loathe herself and even others like her at times. She forced herself to marry a man and she tried her damndest to fit it and be accepted.

But that shit is poison to your soul and she got away, but there was a cost. In that interview, you can also feel how excruciating it was to let go of that. But she did. You can feel in her words, the irrepressible nature of her spirit. She was ultimately able to struggle free and become who she was meant to be.

She was an accomplished athlete, and a gifted coach. Here is her last school's post about her passing. I met her when that career was over, ended by a bone disease and excruciating chronic pain. But I could see why she was so fucking good at it.

She was a born coach. She ALWAYS noticed people. She listened to them. She made all of us in her orbit feel like we mattered and like what we were doing was important. She was large and unmissable and had a huge smile and a joy for life and optimism that was contagious. She was always cracking jokes. Always getting people together. Always trying to help and inspire. Once she was ‘out’ she did an "It Gets Better" video.

In particular she was so uplifting of other women. She had parties in her back yard around a fire she called 'yaya sisterhood' parties and she'd call you a warrior woman for doing things you didn't think were that impressive. But then suddenly they felt pretty damn impressive. We'd drink and dance like dorks and it was the best.

But of course there was darkness. Difficulty. Major traumas. Abuses. Things I wouldn't share because she didn't do so publicly.

And when the bone disease ended her career she struggled with feeling useless and like a burden.

But the thing is, she FUCKING WASN'T! Because everyone she met can tell you of some way she changed them. She convinced them they could do something they thought they couldn't do. She convinced them that what they were doing mattered. And if you needed help, even if SHE couldn’t do it, she’d find someone who could. She would put a call out and find someone to help.

And on her easier pain days when she could get out of bed, she would organize us in the community, she partnered with other people, retirees. They would make sandwiches and drive them around to feed people. They would have special events on every holiday to feed people. (my son is on the far left) She made friends with unhoused folks and helped over 150 people get off the street.

But she didn't just do that.

We all know the reason people are unhoused in this country is because poverty is criminalized. Mental illness is criminalized. The bootstraps myth and 'if you're poor you deserve it' is in American culture far deeper than anything else.

So she would fight with city hall, she would fight with other residents, all the people who hassle them. She'd argue with the cops about how they threw out their belongings and arrested them for existing. She'd go to meetings and argue with people who opposed shelters and housing. She made a lot of enemies.

We live in a small right wing town and I do not tussle with these people unless I absolutely have to. They see themselves as the most respectable, best people on earth. Meanwhile they tote around guns and hang bible signs that tell you you're going to hell. They're scary people.

Sometimes I have to fight with them but only when I literally cannot avoid it.

But Mari would go out there every day and draw their wrath just by helping someone and not apologizing for it. They would tell her that her work would attract more homeless people to our town and she was ruining their neighborhoods etc.

But that was who she was.

She finally did leave this town. She moved to Hawaii. That was her dream. That was when we lost touch, except for occasional facebook posts. I knew the surgeries she had didn't help her back pain. I knew that she had personal issues. But of course I did not know to what extent.

Now, in retrospect, it seems obvious. A friend of mine reached out to her and said that Mari told her that she didn't know how much pain a person could be expected to endure. Another friend heard that she died, and she said...suicide? Apparently they'd had a conversation about severe chronic pain where Mari had said that she thought one day she'd be unable to go on.

I've lost a sibling to suicide. I’ve been suicidal. I’ve served on the board of anti suicide organizations. I’ve studied mental health. But even with all of that I know that in retrospect you can explain it away all you want, but no one can know but the person, what was in their mind the last moments.

Mari made a goodbye video but all she said was that she was 'out' and she blew a kiss. She didn't say anything else. We didn't even know what it meant until her family started posting the next day.

The frustrating things is that no one can know. There was so much trauma. So much pain. And I’m angry. I’m angry at anyone and everyone who caused her the preventable trauma and outright abuse.

But at this point, I'm determined to focus on the stuff that Mari CHOSE to put into the world. She didn't ask for a traumatic childhood or chronic pain. She didn't ask to be subject to abuse or homophobia. None of that was WHO SHE WAS.

WHO SHE WAS was a kind, empathetic, loving person with a big laugh and a silly irreverent sense of humor who wanted to be accepted and appreciated for who she was. And now that she is gone, she would absolutely want to be remembered for the good she put into the world. She would want the people she cared about to live life and think fondly of the good things she did.

So, to honor her, I want to do what she did. I want to remember to be kind to people. I want to honor people who society discards. I want to always remember that we are all the same.

I want to live by: We can all be great, because we can all be kind.

The impact of her kindness will be felt forever. Because we pass it along. One of the men she helped on the street came to the memorial I had for her in my backyard. He played his guitar for her and he cried and we cried and told our stories and honestly that is all I can hope for.

I can only hope that when I am gone (and we will all inevitably will be gone someday) that people can say that I made my little corner of the world a better place and that it radiated out and made everything better. Because that is the only true lasting thing we can do.

And that is what Mari did. My buddy. My hero. ♥️♥️ Rest In Peace warrior woman.

[wisteria-lodge]

burnt badger primary (lion model) + bird secondary (bird performance)

Hello Wisteria! Hope you're doing well.

I want to ask for some help with my sorting. It was pretty stable for some time, but now I have doubts again.

The major difficulty for me is my secondary house. For primary, I'm pretty sure I'm a Burned Badger with Lion model. It was not the easiest thing to admit, because I don't like the idea of confirming to community, but I'm actually very people-oriented. It's important for me to find my place in the community where I can help people with my sphere of competence. However, I have suffered too much from situation when I was the only one who understood that the established morality of the group I belonged to was actually hurting the members of this community. 

I’m definitely seeing some Burnt Badger primary. 

I'm also neurodivergent and even when I see that there's a problem, I don't know what to do with it, especially when it's something about people's psychological well-being, and it's literally pain for me. On the one hand, it lead to burning - I don't trust in my own ability to be helpful for people around me

It does sound like your secondary is a bit burnt - that’s probably why you’re having problems nailing it down. 

and even though I hate myself for such thoughts, I sometimes catch myself thinking that sometimes people really don't deserve respect and love. 

Okay. I can read that as Burnt Badger primary, definitely. You want to respect and love everyone, but that doesn’t feel doable/safe... and you feel guilty about that. 

On the other hand it helped me to develop a pretty stable Lion model, which helps me to trust my intuition and my own sense of morality rather than other people's opinions when those factors contradict with each other.

I hope you find a group that suits you better. 

However, secondaries are way more... Complicated. I don't understand exactly which one is my natural instinct and which one is my learned model.

It was pretty easy for me to exclude Badger and Snake secondaries. I don't resonate with the idea of adaptability that are associated with Snake secondaries, for me it's just lying, and I heavily dislike lying. 

Hmm. This is a very heavy knee-jerk response. Which normally makes me say Lion - and usually Lion secondary - but I’m still trying to figure out how your Lion primary model fits into your system. 

Also I do not find hard work to be the best way of achieving goals, I'm a type of person who thinks that it's better to work smart than hard, and I happily use shortcuts if they a) don't hurt anyone; and 2) don't give me dishonorable advantage.

Okay, I agree. You’re probably not a Badger secondary. But there’s that Badger primary preoccupation with fairness creeping in. 

However, it's way more difficult for me to differentiate between Bird and Lion secondary. Even in my childhood I had traits of both and they become so heavily integrated with each other that any attempt to figure out who is the main one becomes a reason for headache.

I’ll help you out as much as I can here, but if it’s helpful at this point in your life to just say “I’m both” ... I don’t think I have a problem with that. 

Reasons why I might be Bird:

I am going to say I am already leaning Bird. Because you did start in with a LIST. And I *suspect* that some of your more Liony tendencies might be related to your primary. You clearly like Lion a lot... and are a little conflicted about your Badger primary. 

1) Even though I don't feel like I actively collect "useful tools", I'm definitely a knowledge hoarder. I like to read different stuff, and I just randomly and totally unintentionally gather information I find interesting and fun, like a dragon gathers random shiny thingies. I might not even remember the source, but I can remember every detail in a random fact I have seen ten years ago in a Wikipedia article. Sometimes such knowledge is useful, sometimes just fun, but it happens automatically.

Okay, there’s some Bird here definitely. And it’s not the “scaffolding” type of Bird secondary that I would *expect* from someone who’s neurodivergent and modeling bird as a support system.

2) I infodump. Like A LOT. I'd I'm interested in something, I can speak about it for hours.

That just means you’re neurodivergent. That’s not a Bird thing. 

3) If it's not an emergency situation, my first reaction is to withdraw from the reality for a few minutes

That wording makes me think of dissociation, which is again kind of its own thing. But I also don’t think English is your first language, so I’m not going to read too much into it. 

and try to figure out logically what's happening and what should I do with it.

4) I have a need to have a possibility to plan things in advance, instead of changing my plans every hour because of external circumstances.

Okay sure. I’m hearing prep-work secondary (Bird or Badger) who doesn’t like making split-second decisions. You clearly value the Bird skillset. 

Reasons for Lion:

1) I'm a pretty harsh and agressive person. Majorly I'm calm, but some things can trigger me so much that I immediately jump into my "berserker mode", and if the trigger was strong enough, I can go from total chill to desire to unalive someone during just few seconds.

That sounds like like we’ve got some anger issues going on, which is something any secondary can struggle with. 

2) I tend to be the "hard truth teller," in most situations I say exactly what I think even if it might lead to a conflict.

This sounds like a Lion primary. It’s not about solving problems, it’s about doing something because it’s right. I suspect that Lion primary feels safer to you right now than Badger primary, but if it is indeed a defense mechanism, that may be where the slightly aggressive vibe of this ask is coming from. 

3) I often end up being a leader, against my own will, because no one else have chosen to take the responsibility.

That is indeed a Lion secondary trait... but Lion secondaries tend to like being leaders, and you seem super conflicted about it. 

There's also one interesting trait that seems to be a mixture of equal Lion and Bird parts. I'm somewhat a planner, I prefer to know things that I need to do in advance, preferably at least few days, but instead of having a detailed plan with exact timetable, it's more like a puzzle with pieces that I can combine with each other to make something solid. 

Rapid-fire Bird.

I don't plan more than just hooks and anchors that allow me to remember what I need to do or to say. 

I like your metaphor. I’m not totally sure I understand it. But I have definitely compared Bird secondaries to fishing hooks before. 

I'm also pretty good in using infodumping as a way to hide from people that I lack competence in something.

I expect that you may additionally have a bit of a Bird secondary performance, that you use to buy time, or when you’re in an unfamiliar situation.

Well, I hope that it wasn't too chaotic to analyze)

No, not at all. 

Feel free to ask any questions if something seems unclear or needs more details to analyze! And thank you in advance.

I’m reading you pretty solidly as a Bird secondary. You’ve got this defense mechanism Lion primary that kicks in, and that’s where the Lion energy is coming from. I’m also not reading your secondary as particularly burnt, and in retrospect “not knowing what to do especially when it's something about people's psychological well-being,” should have clued me in to how it’s your primary burning, not your secondary. I truly don’t see a problem with modeling a really loud Lion until your Badger primary gets back on its feet, and hope everything goes well for you. 

[serenityreikiclinic]

Breaking Free from Codependency: A Simple Guide to Healing

What is Codependency?

Codependency is a complex pattern of behaviors and emotions that often develop in relationships where one person consistently puts the needs of the other before their own. It can manifest in various ways, but some common signs of codependency include:

1. Excessive People-Pleasing: You might find yourself constantly doing things for others, even if it means sacrificing your needs and desires.

2. Difficulty Setting Boundaries: You may struggle with saying "no" and setting healthy boundaries in your relationships, fearing it will upset or disappoint others.

3. Fear of Abandonment: You might go to great lengths to avoid being alone or fear rejection and abandonment by loved ones.

4. Losing Your Identity: Codependency can lead to losing your sense of self as you become overly focused on the needs and wants of others.

Can you beat codependency? YES! How to Beat Codependency

1. Self-Awareness: The first step is recognizing that you're in a codependent situation. Self-awareness is crucial for any personal growth journey. Take some time to reflect on your behavior and emotions in your relationships. Are you consistently putting others' needs before your own? Are you afraid to be alone? If so, you may have some codependent tendencies.

2. Seek Support: It's essential to reach out for help. This could be in the form of a therapist, counselor, life coach, or a trusted friend or family member. They can provide guidance, encouragement, and a safe space to discuss your feelings and experiences.

3. Establish Boundaries: Learning to set and maintain healthy boundaries is key to overcoming codependency. Practice saying "no" when you need to and respect your limits. It's not selfish to prioritize your well-being.

4. Self-Care: Invest time in self-care activities that promote your physical and emotional health. This could include exercise, meditation, journaling, or pursuing hobbies and interests that make you happy.

5. Boost Self-Esteem: Work on improving your self-esteem by recognizing your worth independent of others' opinions. Self-affirmations, self-compassion, and positive self-talk can help with this.

6. Independence: Focus on reclaiming your independence and personal identity. Reconnect with your interests and values. Rediscover who you are outside of your relationships.

7. Communication: Open, honest, and assertive communication is key. Express your needs, wants, and feelings in a healthy way, without fear of rejection or judgment.

8. Take Small Steps: Overcoming codependency is a process that takes time. Don't rush it. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress, no matter how small.

Codependency is a challenging pattern to break, but with self-awareness, and support, you can overcome it. Remember that you deserve happiness and healthy relationships just as much as anyone else. By taking these steps, you can reclaim your independence and build more fulfilling connections with others while maintaining your well-being. Don't be afraid to seek help when needed; it's a sign of strength and a crucial part of the healing process.

I hope you found this mini-guide helpful. If you have questions or need more info. please reach out.

Reiki Blessings, ​Sarah Parker Thomas, RRMS

Serenity Reiki Clinic / SPT Soul-2-Soul Coaching

[bratz-kitten]

random thoughts on the rising signs

aries risings are completely different when in a day-to-day basis compared to when in a position of power. when you’re with your friends, you’re this fun, energetic, loud person, but when you’re in a position of power... terrifying. you’ll completely switch to someone very serious and intimidating, with a very intense aura. i think it’s because you understand you have a very youthful aspect to you, both in appearance and energy, and you don’t want that to keep you from commanding respect. also because you’re very attracted to leading so that’s when you’re at your most focused. you’re very easy to irritate; as an aries rising, my friends always tease me because they know i’ll immediately doom them to an afterlife in hell. SO explosive, impulsive and chaotic, but that’s what makes you fun.

cancer risings you have such a delicate beauty to you. very sensitive to others’ emotions. people probably baby you a lot without even noticing it, they just want to protect/mentor you. you do very well with older figures like teachers and your friends’ parents. you also ooze maturity. a lot of the cancer risings i’ve met had to learn to be the responsible one in their families from a very young age, so now you take it upon yourself to take care of everyone around you – that’s probably why many people talk about cancer risings as being the “mom friend”. you have the chubbiest cheeks, i wanna bite them lol they’re so cute.

gemini risings look like literal models. VERY good with people, you can probably make someone do whatever you want by just staring into their eyes and telling them pretty words. but i’ve noticed how your communication can be easily misunderstood, you might come off as having certain intentions when you’re trying to convey the exact contrary. probably the alfa of your friend group and the one who has the most reckless, unhinged plans.. yet you’re never caught doing anything bad. you require a lot of stimulation so you’ll do whatever it takes to scratch that itch in you. you remind me of that phrase “i might be a bad influence, but you can’t tell me i’m not fun.” it’s impossible to ever be bored around you.

scorpio risings have this thing where people are absolutely intimidated by you, yet are very attracted to you and just need your attention. the type of person that has random people flirting with you on the streets just so you’ll make eye contact with them for one second longer. you also look lowkey terrifying, you just have massive resting bitch faces and always look pissed off when on the inside you’re just thinking “hm, what am i going to eat for lunch?” very intense gaze and look straight out of greek-mythology, you persephone ass bitch.

libra risings look so well put together. every color on you works in perfect harmony with one another – from your clothing to your hair to your skin tone to your makeup. you’re always sporting a smile and you look so composed, but baby i know you’re close to comitting sporadic murder LMFAO no one can convince me that libra placements are the exact contrary from peaceful, you’re the most unstable people in the world, in the best and most fun way possible – and sometimes in a downright toxic way, ease with the passive-aggressiveness and confrontational nature when it comes to personal relationships.

aquarius risings have the biggest crackhead energy ever. you’re very intimidating at first, and it’s easy to misunderstand you because of that – many think you’re serious and stuck up but you’re just observing and waiting to feel comfortable around them. when you do get comfortable, you’re just funny as fuck – you’ll talk about the most random things and make them sound so interesting, you say the most hilarious things; honestly, you’re a walking meme. also you look like you disassociate so much? you’ll be in the middle of a conversation and then you’ll just start staring into the distance for fifteen whole minutes, but the whole time you were actually listening to the other person.

leo risings i just.. love you. it’s like you’re born to be the center of attention without even trying. literally so expressive and charismatic even if you’re very shy at first, great storytellers, and you’re just so loyal and the amount of support you give to your friends is unmatched. you do very well in a tight friend group where there’s so much trust and supportive energy. if you don’t have one, you probably fantasize a lot about it. how’s that winx obsession going? literally so authentic and raw in everything you do too. people call you egotistical and self-centered because they can’t stand a headstrong person like you. please don’t take insults so much to heart and let them shatter your perception of yourself, and understand that if someone mocks your appearance they’re just projecting their insecurities.

virgo risings you refuse to leave the house if you’re not absolutely perfect. i know someone with a virgo rising who simply refuses to do video-calls before taking a shower and drying their hair. VERY intimidating, will give judgemental stares and look at you in the streets like you’re the ugliest thing in the world but will probably not even realize they were staring at someone in the first place. i have so much fun teasing you, you get annoyed SO fast and it’s so fun because i practically have a degree in being annoying. you also find it shocking when someone teases you because most people are too scared to do it. you’re the most fun to talk shit with because you can be so critical and you just love some drama and gossiping. please stop complaining about things though or i’ll be forced to commit a hate-crime. your luck that i can’t help loving you.

sagittarius risings give sagittarius energy the stereotype of being so freedom-loving and adventurous. you’re very approachable and easy-going, the type of person that people will meet once and already consider you their friends. you’re up to whenever wherever, no matter how dumb the idea might sound, because you know first-hand that the weirdest, most last-minute plans make the greatest memories. i also notice that you’ll use going out as a way of avoiding your feelings. instead of allowing yourself to process your sadness and heartbreak, you just call your friends and go out so you won’t have to sit with your own, scary thoughts.

pisces risings look like they they breathe and create art with every breath they take. literally ooze emotional and artistic sensitivity. very sensitive to others’ energies and that can really take a toll on your mental health – being surrounded by negative people will literally drain you. please remember to take some me-time to recharge and process all those emotions. pisces risings literally look so ethereal, out of this world, with your sparkly eyes when you talk about your dreams and your strong sense of individuality cultivated in all your appearance, from your clothing to your makeup to you hair.

capricorn risings go through so much in their life and for what?? i swear you have so many hardships always coming your way and it angers me so much because you don’t deserve it at all. at least you always learn a lot from those experiences, which just makes you stronger and more undefeatable. you have a very melancholic gaze to you. very doll-like. naturally command authority and respect. unlike taurus risings, you thrive in situations of change – you practically seek them, knowing that learning to adapt to all situations and to work with them so they work in your favor is a gift. you turn so many heads in the street, i’m always in awe at your beauty.

it’s no wonder that the most beautiful celebrities constantly have taurus risings. you’re very strong and fixed in your ideas, making people often describe you as the taurus stereotype of “stubborn”. taurus placements just have so much difficulty accepting change and seeing it as an opportunity of growth instead of a painful process. you need to learn to let go and that good things might happen when you allow yourself to evolve and and outgrow your old self. you have a very grounded presence, while also having such a distinct sense of humour. very well-put together.

[starseed-twenty]

🌌Saturn in the Houses✨

Brief summary

Saturn is a planet, a generational planet, that rules structure, discipline, necessary limitations, responsibilities, lessons and karma. Some may describe it as malefic because of the rather 'negative' energy it gives off. Personally, I've grown to seen it as benefic because of the 'end-results' it aims to provide. Sure, it doesn't start off by being good to you and giving things to you nice and easy (like Jupiter does), however - it doesn't just give things bad and gloomy either. For one, it is trying to give you great lessons with the house it is in (by helping you to basically learn the right way and gain experience in the house) for you. And for two, while Jupiter gives an abundance, Saturn gives some restriction - helping you to be able to handle what goes on in the house its in. Because, as we know it, too much of a good thing can be bad. For example, Jupiter in 6th may mean a person finds it nice and easy to maintain work, planning, a schedule, time-management and maintaining a good body. Sweet, right? Well... this person can actually also overwork themselves sometimes, and be a little bit obsessed with their body too, and become critical of others because of their (the people's) work & planning, since they (the person) know how to maintains theirs. So... 😬 Jupiter isn't completely a good planet, and Saturn isn't completely a bad planet either. In a lowkey way, they're Yin & Yang. There's a bit of good in Saturn, in the same way there's a bit of bad in Jupiter too. Now... On to individual houses.

- This can also apply to transits -

🌌 1st House :

You may experience issues with the way you see yourself, your life and perhaps the way people perceive you. You feel like they have constantly either made fun of you or said inappropriate, harsh things, or they see you in a way you don't see yourself. Or even other times, you feel like you've done or said the wrong things, or live life in a bad way because it's not the 'normal' way people live, leading you to become critical with yourself. So you may be fighting some battles internally at times. On the other hand... The good news is that this does not last forever. As much as you feel like it does. Because as you grow, somehow you find yourself becoming more confident, more happier and feeling not the need to prove yourself to anyone and anything anymore. So, with time, Saturn teaches you how to be good to yourself and do good for yourself.

🌌 2nd House : 

You may experience a lot of financial issues (money, savings, material gain/possessions and assets), as well as issues of self-worth, values and resources. These could be in the form of you struggling to have a proper income or money seeming to be a scarce resource for you. You may also even find it hard to save or invest at first. For example, you try to save or invest, but the money has to go somewhere else or it turned out to be a scam. Additionally, you struggle internally as well. Your sense of self-worth or self-esteem fluctuates quite often, but most of the time it's lower than normal and this is because Saturn makes it hard to see/have value in not only capital gains, but yourself too. The lesson for you in this life is to learn how to comprehend value in tangible things as well as your self-worth the right way so as you do not take these for granted. So, the good news is that as time goes, you will be able to accumulate (a huge chunk 😉 of) these gains, and appreciate yourself more than you ever have.

🌌 3rd House : 

You may experience issues with communication and learning, or speaking and being listened to, or with technology/media. This means it can sometimes be a struggle for you to communicate efficiently/assertively at times, or there can be tension when you voice out your opinion. You may also struggle with having a bad rep when it comes to the media and technological things. People may come at you negatively a lot or they just do not understand you at times and think you're rather odd. Saturn in this house tries teach you to appreciate the art of proper communication and being educated (even though it can be through difficulty). So additionally, you can struggle with learning too, whether it's education (school) or work/training. It takes a long minute for you to get it. But the good news... you eventually do. And when you do it's close to perfect. Also, with time, people really understand your ways of communication and perhaps even love it.

🌌 4th House : 

You may experience issues with foundations (starting up anything), family, home/internal environment and ancestral roots. For example, you just happen to keep struggling when it comes to starting up your own little business or form of income (a blog, YT channel, mini job, etc.) and so there's always a delay or it doesn't turn out the way you thought it would. You may also have problems with your family or home environment more often than normal, something that they do that upsets or has upset you or something you do that upsets them and so it raises conflict between you quite often. But, the good news.... eventually, the issues will die down with effective communication and healing, and the bond will become even closer. Or, that foundation for that business/income will eventually be properly set up and exceed your expectations.

🌌 5th House : 

You may experience issues when it comes to your peers/friends or the people you vibe with (short-term dating), creative endeavours, children or maintaining hobbies. One or more of these is not something you find easy to connect with. For example, the people you get to know or start to vibe with may eventually start acting weird or the connection between you guys doesn't end up the way you thought it would. Additionally, your friends or peers are people who may not understand you at times... so getting along with people at first can be hard. As well as some creative endeavours, such as finding it within you to do artsy stuff or going bold with themes, colours, words, etc. The good news though... is that as time goes, you surpass the need to understand why this is and be hurt by it, but simply love your inner-self more, until  good people, friends and lovers start gravitating towards you. You also start to connect with your creative side, hobbies, and children more.

🌌 6th House : 

You may experience issues with time management and planning. You find yourself either being too early or too late for something, for example; an appointment, an event, or a project due. This (issue with time management) may also manifest into you struggling with completing tasks a lot of the time. But this may be more when you’re just growing up rather than when you’re older and have established the ability to take control of your time and complete tasks. You may also experience issues with your diet or body's health, so you may be someone who either eats too much or doesn't eat enough, or having some kind of body condition. But the good news... the problems do eventually fade away. You will find yourself loving your body and being content with your state. Plus, you eventually perfect the skill of  planning and time-management (with much discipline unfortunately).

🌌 7th House : 

You may experience issues with people around you, or partnerships you're involved in. For example, people seemingly going behind your back or treating you weird even though don't really do bad to them. People just suddenly find a way to be weird and take your kindness for an advantage, which then makes you have rocky relationships with them. As well as with relationships or partnerships, you can sort of struggle with the people you're in these with. They may hurt you or do something shady and you don't even understand why. But, on a brighter side... you do eventually find the right people and right someone who will do very good by you and it will end there. You'll never be hurt again. They will give the perfect love, respect and kindness you deserve. But only after you've learnt the lesson of not trusting too easy.

🌌 8th House : 

You may experience issues with either death, sex/sexuality, changes or transformations, or debt. Or maybe even all. This house is a rather sad one to have Saturn in unfortunately, because a lot of people I know who have this particular placement may feel or see life in a gloomy state, but they do try their best to have hope it gets better. But overall, the issues they encounter may feel like burdens a lot of the time. Such as, for example, their sexuality. They may be surrounded  by homophobic people, whereas their sexuality is one they are still trying to define properly because they can be stuck in being open about who they really are. Or, another example: people who have debt almost all their lives - or just something to owe (money, a job/task, an asset, etc.) because of the continuous struggles they go through. Good news though... is that this all ends eventually. They do find ways or fall on to paths that make it easier for them to live comfortably and not stress too much anymore. And when they do, they become way more optimistic about life.

🌌 9th House : 

You may experience issues with higher learning/knowledge, travelling or long journeys, foreign lands, or law & religion. This may be in ways where you don't connect with other, different cultures, religious endeavours or laws easily. You may have your own interpretations or understandings and they perhaps don't agree with these. Also, travelling far or going to 'exotic'/foreign places does become weird for you, or you don't get to do it as much as you've wanted to. And (this one may be random), you could experience issues with getting taught or finding the right teachers. You're keen on learning, but getting the right understandings doesn't happen the way you thought it would. However, in due time, you do become set on getting the right knowledge and perfect understanding on things (including cultures, religions, laws, etc.) and find yourself in tune with long journeys and exotic places.

🌌 10th House : 

You may experience issues with your public image/status, career, how you work, what we are working/have worked towards and long-term goals. So, you see how the 4th house (opposite house) is about foundations, developments, and the home environment... The 10th house is more or less the opposite of that; the external/public environment and successes through developments & foundations. Having Saturn in this house can then mean you struggle seeing your successes and end-results of your foundations come to life the way you want to (at first), as well as your public image or reputation/status can fluctuate or you (or other people) tend to see it in a bad light. This is not the case for long though. As time goes, your 'tarnished' reputation starts to heal and people then see and admire your work and success. Greatly so, that you become almost iconic. You also eventually fall in love with your image too.

🌌 11th House : 

You may experience issues with the community or large masses, organizations, social groups, social media/technology, global connections and perhaps even successes in your hopes & dreams. So for quite a while, people as a collective may be quite disconnected with you and either radiate negative energy towards you or no energy at all, to which you don't understand because you don't really do anything too wrong and would like positivity. This can also be a time, if it's a transit, that a good reputation is something you have to work hard towards because people have seen you the wrong way for some or other reason.  At the same time, it can be a tad bit difficult for you shine through social settings, social groups, social media and technology the way you want to. Your hopes and wishes can be dimmed, though you keep attempting to let them shine. At the end of it though (as Saturn eventually provides structure), you start to align with these social endeavours, and your hopes & wishes do start to radiate greatly to the point of you looking pretty lucky.

🌌 12th House : 

You may experience issues with connections to the subconscious, spiritual gifts/dreams, fears, healing, confinement, as well as perhaps abandonment/imprisonment/isolation issues. Saturn in the 12th house usually breeds people who are pretty shy, isolated or have a bit of trust issues. They can also be people who grow up heavily be in tune with routines or organized things, structure and wanting to have (or focused on) clear understandings of things. If you have Saturn in this house, it can become really hard for you to understand the concept of hidden things, karma, intuition-based ideologies at first (though you do constantly try and makes sense of these). You can also be suffering from a bit of closure/healing, but it's also something you don't know how to make sense of. So you may be hurting a lot inside, but will try to avoid it or make it seem as though it's not deep. But what Saturn does at the end of it all is allow you to see light in healing, connecting with higher entities and spiritual guides and gaining closure for your mental and emotional health. So you suddenly find it easy to tap in to the subconscious and become almost a master at understanding spiritual endeavours.

Side-note : The weird thing (and perhaps even sad thing) I've noticed about Saturn though, is that it possesses some sort of energy that doesn't allow you to give up on the issues it provides. So, while you may feel like you struggle with these issues... you can't give in to not caring about them or brushing them under the carpet. They appear within a minute and you're lowkey addicted to trying to fix these issues. For example, a person with a Saturn in 12th house : They probably struggle with dreams, understanding things beyond reality, spirituality, healing and all things subconscious. However, they simply find themselves always wondering about this whole 'spirituality' thing and trying their best to understand it. So while they may avoid it because of the huge struggle that comes with it, they revert back to trying to dream a bit more, heal, be in touch with spirituality, etc. Until eventually, they get it so right that they're lowkey experts.

💖💖💖

[lazykcdoodler]

Thoughts on Louie and Della's Relationship + which of the triplets is my vote for Most Likely to hold any sort of longterm grudge against their mom (and why it would be Huey)

I was looking through the Della Duck tag in my blog, when I came across some discourse about the Della-Louie relationship dynamic that I reblogged a while back. I was reading thru the comments and saw someone's HC about how S3 Louie might still hold a small grudge against Della for stealing the Spear of Selene.

And I'm like, no?? If any of the kids in S3 and beyond would hold any sort of substantial grudge against Della for taking the Spear, it would obviously be Huey.

Wait, why did I think that-

Then because Huey's not explored enough, I had to take a step back and think about why I thought of him as the most likely candidate.

First, to work thru my thoughts on Louie and Della's relationship, and why he's less likely to hold a grudge against her in the long run. To start things off, he and Della already had their big clash and make up in the S2 finale. Remember this?

Their small arc in S2 did important things for their character development. That's not to say that they'll never argue again, or that they won't ever have problems. I can certainly see Louie using the Spear as ammunition for a future fight, if things came to that. But Louie and Della have other traits in common, aside from sharp scheminess and their tendency to think that they're the smartest people in any room.

Louie and Della are communicators. Yes, they're both sly and manipulative. But their success in that department comes from their ability to understand people. Dewey might've inherited Della's impulsiveness and natural charisma- but his inclination toward dramatics, his need to be well liked by others, and his desire to stand out among his family and peers, all mean that Dewey is more likely than Louie (but not Huey) to keep secrets and his personal feelings quiet. Della and Louie? Much less so.

It took Louie less than a year to voice his insecurities about his capabilities as an adventurer to Huey. When their mom came back to the Manor, Louie voiced his personal concerns in the very same episode. Louie is a crier. He complains a lot. He's an excellent orator. By far, Louie is the easiest triplet to read as a character, because his thoughts and his intentions are made known to the audience very quickly.

On Della's side of the equation, it's strongly implied throughout the series that she served as the emotional translator between Donald and Scrooge. Don't get me wrong; Scrooge and Donald love each other very much, and they understand each other in a way that very few others do. But when wires get crossed and either of them clam up on their hurt feelings (or fight about other things to avoid the elephant in the room), Della comes in to mediate. She voices whatever the other person won't say out loud. But that deserves its own post.

Regardless of any trouble between Louie and Della, I'm sure of three things. 1) Della and Louie love and care about each other, 2) Della is trying her hardest, Louie doesn't like getting into fights, and he admires passion as a trait in other people, and 3) in spite of everything- despite how agreeable Huey is, or how Dewey's such a momma's boy- out of the boys, Della's relationship with Louie is probably the healthiest in the long run. When it comes to his feelings, Louie is the most emotionally honest triplet. If he beats around the bush, it won't be for long.

While Dewey and Della ride the same wavelength (which causes its own problems), she grounded Louie in Timephoon and said those infamous words because she's been in Louie's place before. She knows what scheming and selfishness got her and her family, and she doesn't want Louie to do the same thing. Because she knows she was harsh- and she knows she might've been too harsh, since she just began learning how to be an authority figure- Della is probably less confident with her ability to handle Louie properly. Which means she's more likely to go to Donald for help with Louie's issues, far more often than she might for Dewey and Huey. Louie will always let Della know where she stands with him. And while she won't take his shit, Della will listen and reciprocate his emotional honesty with her own.

Huey is not good at emotional honesty. Don't get me wrong, he's great at helping other people. But unlike Louie, Huey is as emotionally transparent with his insecurities as a steel bear trap.

So. Why Huey? As I mentioned above, he and Della have stuff in common. They enjoy video games and exploring. They're both outdoorsy. Della is giving this her best shot, and Huey's a kind kid. They get along fine, so obviously things must be fine. Right?

Rrriiiigggghhhhtttt. So, why do I think that Huey's the most likely of the triplets to have any residual resentment toward Della for taking the Spear?

Dewey admired Donald's commitment to his family, but he had to learn to respect him. Louie respected Donald's passion and work ethic, but he had to learn to admire him. Huey never had to learn any of that; Donald has held Huey's respect and admiration from Day 1.

Huey's uncle has a terrible temper. He's easily misunderstood by others. He's the hardest worker on the planet, but he's often underappreciated. Huey can relate. This intrinsic understanding is the root of Huey's longstanding admiration and respect for Donald's character and Donald's efforts. Despite their pre-series financial insecurities, Donald successfully raised three boys on his own while providing them with a relatively middle class lifestyle. Despite everything, Donald is rich in the love of his family and friends.

When it comes to Donald's difficulties with public society, out of his brothers, Huey is the most empathetic to their uncle's plight. He might not be a father of three, but Huey holds the best understanding of the responsibilities that Donald undertook on their behalf.

And therein lies the rub.

Huey Duck is the Responsible One. He works hard, takes his duties as the eldest triplet very seriously, and helps Donald wherever he can. Whether by serving as a vocal translator during a bank transaction, taking charge of his siblings when their uncle is away, or speaking in Donald's defense when his brothers call him boring or lame, Huey tries to makes things easier.

Della probably did some of those things for Donald when they were younger, and vice versa. I'm 99 percent sure that Donald has been teaching her how to AdultTM since she got back from the Moon.

(Because her impulsiveness got her stranded for 10 years).

Huey and Della love each other. They get along great. They have plenty in common. But Huey Duck is by-the-book, and naturally inclined toward hard work- just like his Uncle Donald. Della ripped up the book, took a shortcut, and had to learn to become hardworking the hard way. Huey Duck is the Responsible One. Della had to take a crash course in becoming a Responsible Authority Figure after Louie's scheming almost erased the family from history.

There are many reasons to admire Donald, but his ability to wrangle the three of them is probably near the top of Huey's list. If Donald wasn't responsible before the SOS Incident, he certainly learned to be. Huey has his own lifetime of trouble dealing with Louie's cons, Dewey's impulsiveness, and their collective recklessness and disregard for Huey's work and Huey's passions. They're difficult and infuriating, but Huey tries. And whenever Huey tries, his respect for Donald probably rises. Because Donald isn't their sibling- he's their uncle, their guardian, their first parent since the day the triplets hatched. While the triplets probably had honorary family in their lives long before they met Scrooge (apparently, Mouseton and Duckburg are very close to each other), Donald was HDL's only parent for 10 years.

Because Huey's mom was reckless, and got stranded on the Moon.

At least Huey knows where Louie and Dewey got it from. (It's bad enough, coming from them).

But Huey Duck is the oldest. He needs to be a figure of strength and capability. He needs to be a leader, needs to provide support, needs to be a good role model. His family relies on him for that sort of thing. Mom's been through a lot. Uncle Donald has been through a lot. Huey spent ten years watching his uncle go through a lot. Huey needs to set an example. He's the oldest- which means he needs to extend a hand, make an effort, and bury any proverbial hatchet even if it kills him a little.

(Huey wants things to run smoothly. Huey doesn't want to be a burden for others. Canonically, Huey locks away a lot of his own problems and internal anxieties...until his control slips. Huey hates it when that happens).

Let the record show that I love Della Duck. She's one of my favourite characters. I love how hard she tries, and she's come amazingly far. I'm sure Huey appreciates her efforts.

I'm not saying that canon Huey holds a grudge, or that he secretly resents his mom. I just think that out of all the triplets, he's who I'd pick as the most likely to do so. And unlike Louie and Dewey, Huey knows how to hide certain thoughts and feelings successfully. Huey can be anxious, but he can't be mean (he's already weird and nerdy, he can't afford to be mean). Huey has spent his entire life honing his control over his less...socially acceptable emotions. (Hello, Duke). If Huey has grudges about Della and the Spear or anyone and anything else, I have faith in his ability to hide those negative thoughts for a long, long time.

Until he can't.

[romchomp]

nana rewatch notes- episode 25

-hachi taking extra hours at work to avoid thinking about how lonely she is…she is so me

-yasu definitely avoids talking to trapnest as much as he can lol. it really shows that he prefers the company of blast (along with ren and hachi).

-takumi’s mother is dead…interesting. reira also referred to his mom as her own (“i visited mother’s grave”). reira and takumi have a heavy past together.

-takumi is too busy with work to visit his mother; another example of his priorities.

-we learn that his dad is a drunk and that he has an older sister with a family of her own. all of this information is provided through reira. she’s deeply involved in takumi’s life, whether he likes it or not. takumi seems to be very detached from his family.

-reira+takumi are a stark contrast to hachi. they talk about how work makes it impossible to visit the little family they have and never have time for themselves. with reira especially you see her open up about her exhaustion and lack of happiness in bits and pieces whenever she gets the chance. because of her strict work life, she struggles to herself beyond her labor and talent. she’s trying to grab onto someone who will truly, finally hear her and relieve her of this painful cycle.

-why is nana telling hachi what to do in HER relationship with takumi? it’s so funny. if you’re gay you can say that.

-yasu wants no part in trapnest drama. he’s already been through that rodeo. the only people he truly seems like he wants to help are nana and ren.

-hachi is getting a little too relatable these past few episodes.

-so is rose gonna play every time hachi and nobu have a lovey-dovey moment because i don't think i can handle that.

-hachi looks at her flaws as reasons why people should despise her rather than something completely normal that everyone has. she thinks not being prefect means she’s undeserving of the love she desires. which is why we see her going back to takumi.

-hachi is waiting for takumi to dump her instead of ending things herself so she can victimize herself and remove the responsibility off of her…obviously not healthy and a major flaw of hers. there’s no chance of her working on it either, when she has difficulty communicating her insecurities and is acting out of self sabotage. it won’t be long until the situation completely spirals out of her control.

-i hate this so much

-the amount of internalized misogyny hachi has for herself is astounding.

-so takumi just lets himself in her room? i guess that’s not below what i expected of him.

-takumi is always so forceful with her while she never looks like she even wants to be there.

-”i’m not as pure as nana thinks” is a painful line because it’s true. hachi feels like she needs to fit an image of purity and naivety in order to gain respect (and the love she actually desires) from nobu and nana. she is only able to discard that image when she’s with takumi. when they are together, he is her equivalent . his abuse is what she deserves for showing her “impurity” and whole self.

-“i know takumi is a pathetic man” that was so satisfying to hear her say. as fucked up as their dynamic is, hachi and takumi are pretty interesting together. GOD it feels wrong to even say lmao but unfortunately i’m being dead serious.

- and don’t think i haven’t noticed the warm lighting+orange backgrounds when, and ONLY when hachi and takumi are having sex. at the beginning of their encounters everything is very dark. takumi only ever shows up at night, after all. the directing in this show is SICKKKK

-hachi and misato are so cute. be friends.

previous episode

i’ll link the next episode once it’s published

[honeysuckle-venom]

if you could flip a switch and everyone in the world would automatically know five facts about schizophrenia, what would those five facts be and why are they important for us to know?

Ooh what a great question, thank you so much for asking!

1. Schizophrenia doesn't inherently make someone dangerous, and people with schizophrenia are significantly more likely to be the victims of violent crimes than the perpetrators. This is not meant to throw schizophrenics who struggle with violent urges under the bus, but it’s important for people to understand that the stereotype of the dangerous schizophrenic is harmful and that we’re a vulnerable population.

2. Psychosis is incredibly common, and likely affects people you know and care about. We're not some foreign species, and should be included when you think about the people around you, whether in your advocacy work or just day to day.

3. Living with schizophrenia is hard. Everyday life becomes incredibly challenging. Showering can take monumental amounts of effort, and trips to the grocery store can feel fraught with danger. Many people with schizophrenia are unable to work or fully take care of themselves. Please be patient and understand the difficulties and that we're trying.

4. Just because it's hard doesn't mean it's hopeless. While there is no "cure" for schizophrenia, there are treatment options, and social support can make a huge difference too. You or a loved one being diagnosed with schizophrenia doesn't mean your life is over, no matter how many random websites imply it.

5. Schizophrenics are autonomous humans and deserve agency. Schizophrenic adults are still adults. We deserve to have an active role in deciding our treatment and lifestyles. We deserve to be respected and not talked down to, even if we're being taken care of. We deserve to be treated as people worth communicating with, not as helpless children or burdens. We deserve to have our voices listened to in the psychiatric community, and to have an active role in the future of the understanding and treatment of schizophrenia.

[write-orflight]

Settle Down: Prologue

**Gif Not Mine**

Prev -  Next

Pairings: SpencerXReader (kinda enemies to lovers) 

Rating: M

Words: 2.5K

Warnings: None, will be smut in eventual chapters

Request: OPEN/CLOSED

Summary: Y/N and Spencer don’t get along but turn to each other for the one thing you need someone else for... A baby. You can plantonically start a family, right?

A.N: this is a bad bio but idk how else to put it. it’s a baby fic! I wouldn’t say this is enemies to lovers but they certainly don’t like each other at first so it kinda is. comment on this chap or message to be on the taglist. much love, Cia

                Prologue:  A Powerpoint, Really? 

If you had told 16 year old Y/N that she’d be working at the FBI, she would’ve called you batshit. 

Not only, did you not have any respect for authority or any inclination for rules in that matter, working for the FBI was never in the forefront of your mind. But when given the option of Jail or a full time job with benefits, it was fairly easy to make a choice. You remember the first day when you met your work partner and now best friend Penelope Garcia or specifically the day she caught you. 

You were waiting tables like you did every weekend to stay afloat. Today was unreasonably slow so you were just finding small things to do. That’s when she came in, an extremely brightly dressed woman, sat at the bar of the diner. 

“Hi, how can I help you?” You smile at the woman who looks up at you and smiles. 

“Yes, I’m looking for the Emerald City.” She says, smirking at you. Your face drops, you knew what she was talking about. 

When you started hacking it was only supposed to be a one time thing. You grew up poor, spent most of your life poor so when you saw your childhood home was set to be demolished to build a fancy new headquarters for Scotty Realins, an upcoming asshole tech CEO, without a cent going to your parents.  Something in you snapped. You had already been pretty decent at code and you flirted with a couple of guys in your STEM classes to learn how to hack so you would say you were pretty good at this point. So you hacked into the website and made sure all the Revenue for that day actually was wired to lower-income housing. At the end of the day, it was only a couple hundred thousand dollars but what was pennies to Scotty Realins changed some people's lives. 

So you started doing it more, to different companies under the pseudonym OZ. The money always went to different places that needed it whether it was paying the rent for a bunch of families or anonymous large donations to food banks or soup kitchens. You gained a bit of fame in the hacker community as a modern day Robin Hood. 

All good things come to an end though. And the end was standing in front of you in clunky, rainbow colored jewelry. 

“You don’t look like a cop.” you say, crossing your arms. 

“I’ll do you one better.” She says, pulling her FBI badge out, showing it to you briefly. You curse under your breath. “I’ve been following you for a while, OZ. Though I wasn’t expecting the man behind the curtain to be a woman. I will say, having my computers route back to a loop of “We’re not in Kansas anymore.” everytime I tried to track your IP was impressive. I couldn’t even be mad about it.” 

“Clearly not that impressive because you found me.” 

“Still took me longer than usual, which is saying a lot.” 

“This is a really long winded conversation if you’re just here to arrest me.” You say, taking off your apron. No use in keeping it on if you were going to be in handcuffs soon. 

“That’s because I’m not here to arrest you. I’m here to offer you a job, to work under me as a Tech Analyst in the Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI.” Penelope says. 

“And if I don’t want to?” 

“Then you’re going to want a lawyer and my very good handsome friend outside is going to arrest you. You’re smart and you have a chance to help people which is why you started hacking in the first place, right? Please don’t make me do that.” She looked at you pleadingly like she really cared and didn’t want you to go to prison. You didn’t say anything but something told you she’d been in the same boat as you before. 

“Hmmm…. I’m tired of waiting tables anyway.” 

So you uprooted your life and moved from Philadelphia to Quantico. Garcia took you under her wing and pretty soon the two of you functioned in her batcave like a well oiled machine. You could do without the constant gore that filled your screens but at the end of the day, you loved what you were doing and you wouldn’t change that for the world. 

The team was an added bonus, it was nice to have your own little found family. Garcia, of course, taking on the role as best friend mere days after your first meeting. You met Derek Morgan right after you agreed to take the job, he’d been there to arrest you and was very glad he wouldn’t have to do that. He told you often about how you reminded him of his sister and he regarded you in the role of younger sister from that day on. The next person you met had been Aaron Hotchner, your new boss. It took him a couple of weeks to warm up to you, you guessed he had a difficulty trusting new people and when he would call you guys for information he would always ask for Garcia instantly instead of you, not very trusting in your skills yet. Though that changed when you had been the one to track down the Unsub once. 

Rossi was easily won over when you told him about your Italian side of the family, specifically your grandmother who loved to cook and left you a lot of recipes. You and him often went back and forth in sharing dishes. Emily and JJ had also been easily won over with one bottle of tequila and a regrettable girls night. 

Then there was Dr. Spencer Reid.     

You had a lot of opinions on Dr. Reid, most of them weren’t good. It wasn’t like you hated him in fact, you’d consider him a friend but the two of you seemed to butt heads on well, everything. Both of you needing to be the smartest in the room and neither of you wanting to admit when you’re wrong will do that though. You still respected Spencer though, he was an extreme asset to the team and he was your best friend’s other best friend so you couldn’t really hate the guy. 

You also didn’t have to like him. 

So you had a good job, good friends, a nice house to live in. You were finally happy, content even. So why did it feel like something was missing? 

The something missing came in a stroller pushed by JJ the next week. 

The last case had been rough. Really rough. So while the team was on their way back you and Garcia hatched a plan for JJ to come visit from maternity leave and surprise everyone with the baby. While you guys were waiting for them to land, Garcia wanted to show JJ something she had gotten her godson so JJ asked if you could watch him and feed him until she got back, which you obviously agreed to. As you were feeding the child his bottle, and his ravioli sized fist wrapped around your finger you realized what had been missing. 

Fuck, you wanted a kid. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------

You told Garcia first, it slipped when she noticed how off you were being. You wanted to have a kid bad now and you knew you didn’t want to wait. Penny tried to convince you that you’d “find the right person” but let’s face it, with this job, long term relationships were few and far inbetween. Plus you didn’t need a man, you had a good job and insurance, you knew you could provide a child with a life full of love it deserved. So you made an appointment at a fertility clinic. As the doctor was talking to you about your options, you felt yourself feeling more and more down about your decision and that only increased as you looked in the book of sperm donors in front of you. You looked at too many serial killers daily that it made you uneasy, carrying a stranger's baby. Maybe Garcia was right and your best bet was to wait for ‘the right guy.’ Even though you really didn’t want to. 

You walked into work later, a little sullen. Heading immediately towards the coffee machine. Penelope, who had been at Derek’s desk, makes a beeline towards you.  

“So how’d it go?” She says, smiling. “Did you make an appointment to be baby-fied?” 

You sigh. “I couldn’t do it, Pen.” You say, frowning. “I just-- We see so much here that I don’t want to accidentally end up with a sociopath’s baby because I couldn’t wait.” 

“But you don’t want to wait, do you?” She says softly, empathizing with you. 

“No, I don’t.” You sigh again, finishing making your cup before walking back out into the bullpen. JJ had brought Henry again for the others to see on the slow paperwork day. You tried not to look bitter but it was like she was flaunting the one thing you couldn’t have, even if it was unintentional. You watched as she handed the baby to Spencer, who instantly smiled and made faces at the laughing baby. 

“Spencer is actually a surprisingly good godfather.” Garcia says, smiling at the exchange in front of you. “Kinda makes you wonder what he’d be like with his own baby geniuses.” She says before walking over to the group and scooping her godson out of Spencer’s arms, Spencer still held on to his fist with his pinky, smiling down at the child. 

“Yea…” You say, to no one in particular. 

You had an idea. A probably bad one. 

-------------------------------------------------------

You were sitting in the coffee shop, nervously fiddling on your laptop while waiting for Spencer. You were surprised he even agreed to meet with you for coffee though you were sure he was just doing it out of curiosity because you told him you had something important to talk about. You weren’t even sure if you were going about this the right way. Hey Spencer, I know we’re not even friends but how would you feel about fathering my child? God, this was going to be terrible. 

You looked up when you heard the tell-tale bell on the door indicating someone walking in. Spencer gave you a small wave before going to the counter to get a coffee. You took that time to nervously sip yours. Your heart was beating a mile a minute, it was now or never. 

“Hey.” Spencer says, when he finally gets to the table, coffee in hand. “Why are you all the way in the corner?” 

“This isn’t really a conversation I want overheard.” 

Spencer tilts his head confused at that. “So what is the conversation we’re supposed to be having. I asked Garcia but she seemed to also have no idea.” 

“Yea, I didn’t tell her on account of this maybe going extremely bad.” You say, before sighing and turning your laptop around so Spencer could see the Powerpoint screen you have on it. When he reads it,  he chokes on his coffee.

“A Powerpoint, really?” He chokes, still coughing around the coffee. “Y/N, what is this?” 

“This is Reasons Why You Should Make a Baby With me.” 

“Yea, I got that from the title, Y/N.” He says, still shocked. “Is this a joke?!” 

“I wish it was, Reid.”

“Can I at least ask why you thought a Powerpoint was the best way to ask?”   

“Because I felt you’d be more inclined to consider it if you knew I spent time on a presentation.” 

“That’s true.” He leans back, taking a sip of his coffee, gesturing for you to continue. You hit the next slide. 

“Ok, reason number one is we both want kids.” You say, looking at him. “Garcia told me the other day that you were talking about how much you wanted a kid and I also want a kid.”  

“I did tell Garcia that.” He muses. 

“Reason two, an offspring between us would probably result in another genius. As you know, you are smart.” 

“Yes.” 

“And I am smarter.” You say, Spencer opens his mouth to protest but you keep talking. “A child between us could probably be the next Einstein.” 

Spencer nods and you continue. “Reason three, I’d be a great mom.” 

“That’s a debatable fact.” 

“No, it’s not. You’ve seen me around kids, have I ever given an inclination that I wouldn’t be?” You ask, he shakes his head. “Plus, I happen to think you’d be a great father. Which brings me to Reason 4.” You say clicking through the next slide. “If you don’t want to be involved in raising that’s fine. I’m perfectly fine raising the child myself an--” 

“What?! No!” Spencer says, sitting up. “If I do agree to have this baby, which I’m not completely doing yet. I want to be involved, I want them to know I’m their father and that I didn’t abandon them because I know what that’s like.” He says, seriously. You nod, already knowing this about Spencer. 

“Reason 5: I’d be the perfect platonic co-parent, I won’t ask you for anything unless it’s pertaining to the child and if you decide that later down the road you want your own family, I’d be supportive and help you along the way.”

Spencer nods. “We’re never home enough for a baby.” 

“That’s where you’re wrong because I’ll be here. I mainly stay here anyway and if there’s ever a case where you need a tech analyst to fly out, Garcia’s already agreed to have it already be her when I floated the baby idea around last month.”  

Spencer hummed, silent for a second. “You really want a kid, huh?” 

“Yes.” You say. 

“So much so you’re asking me?” Spencer says, matter-of-factly. “A Coworker you barely speak to?”

Well, when he says it like that. 

“Yes. I’m asking because while we don’t get along the best you are still one of the most compassionate, understanding men I know. And I know that if I have to raise this kid with somebody, you would love them just as much as I would.” You say, Spencer nods at that. “So, please?” 

Spencer sighs. “When’s your next appointment? At the fertility clinic?” 

You didn’t even want to ask how he knew about that. “Next tuesday.” 

He nods. “I’m going with you.” He says, standing, pulling the strap of his messenger bag over his shoulder. “This isn’t a yes.” 

“It’s not a no, either.” You point out. 

“No, it’s not.” He says, leaving you behind in the coffee shop with a huge grin on your face.

Taglist: @moonshinerbynight​ @crimeshowtrash​

Message/reply to be tagged!!

[talatomaz]

beautiful | diana prince x fem!reader

a/n: happy new year !! this takes place during 1984 but before the actual plot of the movie happens. this is really long so sorry in advance

warnings: mentions of attempted assault. sexual references

word count: 3.4k

masterlist | request list | request rules

reader is a woc and works at the smithsonian as an antiques realtor. after they receive several artefacts specific to ancient mediterranean culture, she enlists the help of diana prince, a senior anthropologist. reader works closely with her and finds herself starting to develop feelings for her and one day, she’s saved by a mysterious female heroine and figures out diana is not all she claimed to be

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Thank you.”

You smiled to the delivery boy as you showed him where to place the fragile artefacts the museum had just received. It was your job to evaluate whether they were of any value, and if so, whether it was more prudent for them to be sold to someone else or put on display for people to visit.

The moment you were left alone, you’d opened the smallest box in order to determine where these artefacts were from, more specifically, when. You picked up, what appeared to be, a device of some sorts, fit with several random gears. Evaluating the rust and corrosion, you noted on your clipboard that this may have been a Cypriot artefact from the early Bronze Age.

As you made your way through the other boxes, you were about a quarter of the way through when you noticed that all of these antiquities appeared to originate from the Mediterranean. And you knew the perfect person to help explain more about their culture to you.

You gently placed the artefact you were currently examining back in its respective box, locked your office door and made your way to the senior anthropologist who was an expert on the culture.

Lifting a closed fist, you lightly knocked on the door and waited patiently for the door to open, smiling at the person who stood in the door frame when it did.

“Afternoon Miss Prince, are you free for a quick chat?”

You didn’t know Diana Prince all that well, having only interacted on a number of occasions but each time you had, she was incredibly kind and friendly. She had been at the museum longer than you had and was one of the first people to introduce themselves to you and make you feel welcome.

Honestly, there wasn’t much that you knew about her.

She was an enigma.

In the broadest of terms, that was.

By definition, an enigma is someone who is mysterious and difficult to understand.

Now, whilst the brunette was definitely mysterious, she was, by no means, difficult to understand.

One look in her eyes and you immediately saw her for all that she was.

She may not have said more than 5 words to you, but her eyes told you a story. Someone who had gone through immense hurt but remained kind and bright, even in the darkest of times.

Her eyes were beautiful, as was the rest of her. Though that did seem like an oversimplification. She was a goddess, as if sculpted by the Gods themselves - how true that was, you didn’t know yet - and despite that, she never seemed to let her beauty be her one overriding factor. She was extremely smart and intelligent and so much more. Which was why you enlisted her help.

“Of course. Please take a seat.” She said, smiling when you did. “So, how can I help you, Miss L/N?”

“Please, call me y/n. Miss L/N makes me sound like my mother.” You joked.

“Well, then please call me Diana.” She replied in her accent that you couldn’t quite distinguish.

You nodded, “So I’ve just recently come into possession of some ancient artefacts. As you know, I’m required to estimate their value and decide what the museum should do with them. However, it seems that the artefacts I’ve currently examined, all appear to be specific to Mediterranean culture. Now considering you’re our resident expert on that, I figured-”

“That I could come and help you determine it’s authenticity and explain more about them.” Diana finished.

“Exactly. But if you’re too busy, I compl-”

“No, it’s okay.” She interrupted quickly. Clearing her throat, she continued, “I’d be happy to help. I’m glad you came to me, y/n.”

Your lips curved in a smile as you fought to keep the blush that would have certainly risen to your cheeks.

“Shall we?” You asked, standing up, about to head back to your office.

“Lead the way.”

***

For the next month or so, you found yourself working quite closely with the anthropologist, the Smithsonian board having told you both that they wanted you to help create a display for the artefacts to be put on show for the community. Though that meant more work for you, you were secretly grateful because, truth be told, you found yourself developing feelings for the brunette. But you never said a word, knowing she wouldn’t feel the same about you.

You were working late one night, about to leave, before you noticed the light that was on in one of the hallways. Apart from you, you knew that the only person who’d ever stay this late at the museum was Diana. Her, seemingly more committed to her job than you once realised.

Knocking on the door, you waited until you heard a quiet “come in” before entering the office room.

Neatly placed around the room were several boxes, more than likely filled with paperwork and published papers. Her navy leather sofa sat at the far end of the room with a coat draped over one of the arm rests. In front of you, was Diana’s desk. It was as tidy as the rest of the room, papers orderly placed at the ends of the desk, a small lamp placed at the corner and a computer which Diana had been typing on.

Her face softened into a smile when she saw you and she sat up against her chair.

“Hey, y/n. What’s up?”

“Not much. I was just about to head home but since I saw your light on, I figured I’d come by and say goodnight.”

“That’s sweet. Since you’re here, why don’t I walk you out? I was planning on going home myself.”

“Sounds good.”

She grabbed her coat from the sofa and put it on. After locking her door, she walked beside you towards the entrance of the museum.

“You know, it’s a beautiful night and it’s not that late either, why don’t we get dinner?”

You stopped in your path for a brief moment before continuing to walk.

She was asking you to dinner.

Holy shit.

You knew it wasn’t a date since you had had several dinners together whilst working at the artefacts.

But the idea that it could have been still excited you.

And terrified you.

“Yeah, I’d love to.”

You had eaten at this cute restaurant, sitting outdoors so you could both bask in the stars. You’d fallen into easy conversation with the brunette, never experiencing any awkwardness or uncomfortable silences. You talked about nothing and everything; every time you made her laugh, you couldn’t help but smile yourself because her laughter was genuine and brought warmth to you.

“I’ve enjoyed tonight, Diana.”

“Me too. I know you don’t get out much so I figured you deserved a break.”

“Hey! What do you mean ‘I don’t get out much’?” You said, feigning being offended while truthfully, you were failing to hide a laugh.

“I’m not judging. Just...making an observation.” Diana laughed.

“Hmm sure. Well, how about you? Are you out often?”

“No, not really.”

“Wow. Now look who’s not a social butterfly.” You joked.

“Yep, we’re just two peas in a pod, huh y/n?” Diana said, smirking when she saw a light blush of red on your cheeks.

***

After that night, you found yourself regularly going out to dinner with Diana and it was getting harder to hide how you felt.

Sometimes, you had a sliver of hope that she felt the same way because she would make excuses to touch you, whether it be gently brushing her hand against yours or stroking her hand against your arm.

But you immediately quelled those thoughts. There was no way someone as beautiful, sweet and smart as Diana would like you.

Shaking your head, as if to rid the thoughts from your mind once more, you walked through the alley that was a shortcut to your apartment.

Abruptly, you felt yourself pushed up against the brick wall, a knife against your throat. You fought the urge to scream, knowing any movement with the sharp blade that close to you would certainly result in bleeding.

“Good girl. Be quiet and don’t scream. Otherwise the next piece of trash left in this alley will be you.”

The moon allowed for you to get a better look at the man holding himself against you. You only saw his face, however, his mouth curved into a creepy smile, reminiscent of Dr Seuss’ The Grinch.

“You are a pretty one, aren’t you?” Even his voice felt slimy, bringing a look of disgust on your face.

“Fuck off.” You said, showing no fear. Oddly, you found yourself feeling calm. Some people may fight and others may flee. But of course, you taunt and curse.

“Oh, you’re going to be fun.”

You readied yourself for anything that may happen, waiting for the opportunity where the blade’s pressure would lighten, allowing you to kick this guy and run away.

But before you could, you felt all pressure against you immediately leave. Looking up, you caught a glimpse of a woman in armour pulling the man off you with, what appeared to be, a glowing yellow rope. The man still held within the rope, she jumped up on the roof and disappeared.

But not before the moonlight had provided some clarity as to who this mysterious figure was.

It was her eyes.

You had difficulty sleeping that night. It was not the attempted assault that had kept you up though, it was the woman who had saved you. You recognised her eyes but the more you thought about it, the more perplexed you became. There was no way Diana was whoever this woman was. But it was her eyes.

This back and forth continued til sunrise when you finally decided to push it from your mind. Yes, her eyes may have been familiar but you hadn’t seen her face nor heard her voice. And if, and when you did, you would then make an assumption as to who she was.

***

“Morning, y/n.”

You looked up to see Diana standing outside your office door, dressed in a simple pantsuit that she somehow made look glamorous.

“Morning, Diana.”

“How are you? Are you okay?”

You carefully noted the thinly veiled concern in her tone before answering.

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked, brow raised in question.

“No reason. Just wondering.” She cleared her throat. “I’ve just been finalising some things for the display tonight.”

Time had flown by and you were disheartened when you realised it meant the two of you wouldn’t be seeing each other as often; the two of you would go back to your own lives and separate work.

“Y/N?”

You blinked, having been broken from your thoughts when you saw real concern on her face.

“Yeah?”

“You went a bit dazed there for a moment. Are you sure you’re okay?” Her head tilted in question, her hand lifting to gently caress your arm.

“Yeah, sorry. Come on, let’s finish off this display.”

You had trouble focusing whilst you worked, eyes constantly glancing over at Diana, your mind wondering. You knew that even if she was who you thought she was, it had no effect on how you felt about her. She was still the same Diana that you knew.

Just...more badass than you’d first thought.

The two of you left the museum early evening so you could get ready for the gala the Smithsonian was putting on to show off their new Mediterranean display.

Whilst you had put quite a few antiques up for sale to various buyers and other museums, the large majority of them you had advised the board to keep; explaining how, in the long run, it’d prove more valuable.

You got dressed in a black dress that was hemmed below your knees, a low but classy ‘v’ cut shaped plunged neckline to reveal a small diamond necklace that matched with your earrings. You rarely wore makeup but tonight was an exception so your lips were painted a deep red that complemented your tanned skin and your hair was left free, light curls bouncing against your back.

Once you had arrived back at the Smithsonian, you made your way to your boss and the rest of the board who complimented yours and Diana’s work.

You looked around, wondering where the latter was.

As if summoned by sheer thought alone, Diana appeared beside you; her appearance leaving your throat dry. She was dressed in a long navy dress, a long slit in the side showing off her toned legs. She wore a gold bracelet around her wrist, her lips painted bright red, her curly hair surrounding her face.

“You look stunning, Diana.”

“Thank you. You look beautiful too.” Her smile reaching her eyes.

The next couple of hours were spent rotating around the guests and several investors who commended the both of you on your work whilst simultaneously making sizeable donations to the museum.

Truth be told, you hated this part of the gala. You believed that people should appreciate the art rather than wanting to line up their own pockets. It was the main reason you often avoided company events such as these but since tonight was something you’d organised, you needed to be there.

You were currently speaking with an older male whom you knew was an avid investor. Diana had been pulled aside by another investor who wanted to know more about a certain piece of art.

As you engaged in a polite conversation with the man, you felt a shift in his tone as he became more untoward with you. His words were slurring slightly, having consumed several glasses of champagne, and he starting to make inappropriate advances by grabbing your hand or saying wildly unprofessional things.

“Mr Woodbury, I appreciate your interest in me but I do not feel the same way and I’d appreciate it if you could stop with the advances.” You explained as politely as you could when, in reality, you were trying to hide your anger.

“Darling, you’re a pretty little thing and I could give you the night of your life.” He leered at you, leaning closer towards you.

A strong hand pushed him back, “she said ‘no’”

There was no need to even face the person enunciating each word; you knew exactly who that voice belonged to.

“Miss Prince, we’re having a private conversation.”

Diana stood beside you, her body turned so she faced the both of you.

“I suggest you leave before I have you removed from the building. And if you ever bother y/n again, I promise you, you will regret it. And a promise is unbreakable.”

The male withered under her stare and slithered away from view. You glanced up at Diana, who towered over you, even more so in her heels, and saw the controlled fury in her eyes.

The way the light of the room shone on her face and illuminated her eyes forced yourself in the memory of the night of your attempted assault.

The realisation hit you like a train.

This was the confirmation that you needed.

It was her.

“Y/N?”

You stared into her eyes, unable to tear yourself from her.

“Y/N?” Diana repeated, resting her hand against your cheek. The warmth of her skin against yours brought you back to reality.

“Y-You. I-”

You stumbled over your words, unable to string any words together to form a coherent sentence.

“Come with me.”

Not waiting for a response, Diana took your hand in hers and led you back to her office. She closed the door, locking it behind her and switching on her lamp so the room wasn’t completely dark.

You stood in front of her, still unsure of what to say.

“Y/N, you’ve been acting weird all day. What’s wrong?” She asked, her concern evident in her tone.

“You’re her.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Her. The one who saved me last night.”

You watched as Diana’s eyes flickered with panic. It was only for a brief moment and you wouldn’t have caught it if you weren’t looking.

Her mouth opened as if ready to disprove any of your thoughts before closing it again when she saw the look on your face.

“How did you know?” She sighed.

“Your eyes.”

“I’m sorry?” She repeated.

“Your eyes. They were the same. Since the moment I met you, the first thing I noticed were your eyes. The way they sparkled with kindness but I could still see the hurt behind it. They’re beautiful.” Your voice faltered as you finished speaking.

“Um, that was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have said that. I-I’ll go.”

As you were about to walk out of her office, she moved to block the door.

“Don’t go.” Her accent came out strong.

“Diana, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Look, I appreciate you working with me these past couple of months. It’s been a great help. We can just forget this happened and just go back to our lives.” You suggested, walking back to the centre of the room.

“What if I don’t want to?”

Her words came out in a low whisper, the huskiness of her voice sending a shiver down your spine.

“W-what?” You swallowed dryly.

“I said, what if I don’t want to forget?” She repeated, walking closer to you whilst you unconsciously backed away slowly until stopping when your back hit her desk.

“I’ve loved spending time with you, y/n. You’ve become extremely important to me. And seeing that guy trying to hit on you earlier angered me because you’re not his. You’re mine.”

Your eyes widened. Though you’d never seen this side of Diana before, you were extremely turned on; a warmth spreading through you.

Diana continued, smiling at the noticeable effect she had on you.

“I know you feel the same way. I see the way you look at me and the way you blush when I catch you staring. You know me. The other me. You’re beautiful and I like you, y/n. A lot.”

You licked your lips and then lightly bit your bottom lip, once again speechless. Never in a million years did you think she’d like you back.

You decided words weren’t going to be enough and instead, you gathered your courage, the alcohol helping you in that respect, and closed the distance between you.

It was a light kiss, practically a peck, just to test the waters as they say but it still felt right.

You pulled away and leaned back against the desk. There was a look in her eye that you couldn’t quite distinguish but before you had any time to dwell on it, Diana instantly kissed you back, this time with more fervour.

She lifted you onto the desk as if you weighed nothing and with her strength, you probably didn’t. Her hands gripped the sides of your waist, steadying you, as you opened your legs wider so she could move between them.

Your arms wrapped around her neck pulling her deeper into you. She tugged your bottom lip between her teeth, not hard enough to make you wince but definitely enough to make you moan.

You felt her smirk against your lips as her hands moved upwards from bracketing your hips to the side of your breasts. She continued the motion before kissing you one final time and reluctantly pulled away.

Your breath came out in a pant, trying to get as much oxygen back into your lungs as possible.

“That was-”

“Amazing.” Diana finished.

You still sat atop of her desk, not having enough energy to move as of yet, and you were sure your legs wouldn’t be able to hold you up either after that heavy make out session.

Diana rested her hands against your waist once more before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek.

How she went from being so full of passion and heat to being so gentle and sweet, you’d never know. You had a feeling she was going to keep you on your toes.

“As much as I didn’t want to stop, we still have people to see. What do you say we talk to a few more guests and then we can go back to my place and finish what we started?”

Diana asked, stroking your cheek with her thumb as her eyes twinkled with mischief.

“I’m never going to figure you out, am I?” You said light-heartedly, as you came to your feet.

Diana held your hand in hers and walked to the door,

“I don’t know. I’d say you know me pretty well already.”

[randomluck-ofthe-universe]

I just want you all to know that what y'all are doing is amazing. You are getting called delusional and all that shit but honestly, you kept receipts, you think through stuff with a clear head, many of you still have your asks open with anons on so other people can share their perspectives with you (which is amazing on another level), you endure getting a bunch of hate messages and I could go on and on about it.

I honestly admire you all and really really hope that you, as a fandom will get at least a shout out or something when this is over, not only because you stand up for him but because you provide a platform for many many people (like me) who are supporting him but are afraid to do so publicly (because we can see the amount of hate people who support him get and I, personally, couldn't handle that).

You are a truly amazing bunch and while up until now I didn't really think much of this community, now I respect the fuck out of y'all.

I've no words for this, anon. ❤️

Thanks, really heartfelt thanks on behalf of all this fandom that has often been mistreated, offended and ridiculed. You don't even imagine how important your words are to each of us here, how much they mean to us, seriously, and I take the liberty of speaking on behalf of all by saying that for us this is a serious matter, and not a game or a pastime. We're here because we firmly believe in these two guys and in their love which is real and profound and which has been tested against the hardest obstacles and difficulties right from the beginning. They truly deserve all the best in both their private and professional lives, are two beautiful souls, and we're and will always be here by their side ready to support and defend them from anyone who wants to harm or spread hatred on them with no basis in fact.

And never as at this moment your message is for us a breath of pure air that pushes us to go forward even stronger.

So an enormous thanks to you. ❤️❤️❤️