#and i hate how the people calling this shit out are getting shat on by randos

[frommybookbook]

Earlier today, some friends and I were discussing one of those Star Trek captains memes. You know the ones I’m talking about, the ones that pit the captains against each other with pithy descriptions that glorify and champion the men and shit on Janeway. The ones where Picard is describe as the wise teacher and scholarly diplomat; Kirk is the brave trailblazer and lovable rogue; Sisko is the take-no-shit commander and more-than-human uniter; Archer is the quick thinking explorer and the avenging do-gooder; Pike is the empathetic Boy Scout and the quippy everyman…and Janeway is an irrational murderer and erratic loose canon. And, as usual, I went on a bit of a rant. They (looking at you @redsesame, @epersonae, and @emi--rose) told me to share it here so, if you trudge through this whole thing, blame them.

Does Janeway make some questionable decisions throughout VOY (Prodigy!Janeway is a different conversation for another time)? Yes, absolutely. But here’s the thing: every captain does. What I still love about her though and will champion until I'm blue in the face is that Janeway owns her decisions more than I think any other captain does.

Picard and Kirk hide behind the Prime Directive a lot. That's the reasoning Picard gives for not interfering in the drug running in “Symbiosis” and leaving the Ornarans trapped in dependence on the abusive Brekkans. His line, “Beverly, the Prime Directive is not just a set of rules. It is a philosophy, and a very correct one. History has proved again and again that whenever mankind interferes with a less developed civilization, no matter how well-intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous." is a cop-out we hear from him time and time again, especially to Dr. Crusher, as she is the one who most often calls him on his bullshit.

Kirk does the same thing. We still this when he leaves Shanna and the other thralls behind in "The Gamesters of Triskelion" and when he forces Elaan of Troyius into a marriage she clearly doesn't want because it's "for a greater good." And all the while, he's got Spock at his side giving him confirmation bias that he's following regulations.

And Sisko, Sisko makes some of the most horrific and destructive decisions of any captain and uses not only the Prime Directive to fall back on, but he's got the Dominion War to blame. He poisons an entire planet to get back at one man he feels betrayed him in "For the Uniform" and don't even get me started on his actions in "In the Pale Moonlight".

Enterprise is so unjustly shat on by the fandom that I almost hate to bring some of Archer's questionable choices into this conversation but I'm going to do it anyway. Similar to Sisko and the Dominion War, Archer has the threat of the Xindi in his back pocket to excuse some of his worst behavior. If Tuvix is the worst thing people can point to for Janeway, then we have to talk about Archer and Sim, the simbiont created solely to be a living tissue donor for an injured Trip, a procedure that will kill the living, breathing, sentient Sim. Archer orders Sim created against the arguments made by Dr. Phlox. He rationalizes his decision with the same argument for the greater good that we see from all the others. He says to T'Pol before Sim is created "…we've got to complete this mission. Earth needs Enterprise. Enterprise needs Trip. It's as simple as that." And it doesn't end there. When Sim is grown enough for the procedure and has figured out what's going to happen to him, he challenges Archer himself, arguing for his own right to live, and Archer sticks to his guns. This exchange directly between Archer and Sim is haunting.

Archer: I must complete this mission; and to do that, I need Trip. Trip! I'll take whatever steps necessary to save him. Sim: Even if it means killing me? Archer: Even if it means killing you. Sim: You're not a murderer. Archer: Don't make me one.

Not only do all of these captains (except Archer, who arguably writes the damn thing himself at the end of the series) have the Prime Directive to fall back on, they also have Starfleet/the Federation/Vulcan High Council right there on speed dial to validate their choices and hear their excuses and give them another commendation. They all know that ultimately, they can turn to someone higher in command to turn to for help.

Janeway is alone. She is alone with her crew 70,000 lightyears from home with only her training and her own moral compass to guide her. Yes, she claims the Prime Directive a lot but she also goes with what she feels is right and she is clear about that with her crew. When she makes the decision to split Tuvix, despite what everyone else says, she sticks to it and more importantly, does the procedure herself. Picard would have forced Beverly to do it, saying Doctor I gave you an order, your conscience be damned, and Archer does the same to Phlox with Sim, but Janeway takes the tool out of the Doctor's hand and says it's my call, I'll do it. When everyone is angry and mad about her destroying the Caretaker's array, she stands up for her decision and says yes, I did it, because it's what my Starfleet training said to do AND because I think it was the right thing and it's on me to make the hard choices.

She also can admit when she made the wrong decision, which isn't something we see from the other captains. In the season 5 opener, "Night", we see her in a depressive state because she's questioning her decision to effectively strand her crew in the Delta quadrant but she comes out of it when she's reminded by her senior staff that the crew believes in her and trusts her, she should do the same for herself. When the Doctor has a mental crisis in "Latent Image" after questioning his own choice to save the life of Harry Kim over that of another crew member, Janeway admits she did the wrong thing by first deleting his memories of it so he could get back to work and then sits with him for days while he works through it because that's what captains do.

And she does all of this without the backup and support of Starfleet. She doesn't have anyone higher on the chain of command. She's 70,000 miles away from the admiralty and her support system. There's no one higher than her to give her a break from making every decision.

To quote my fellow Missourian Harry Truman, for Janeway the buck stops with her in a way it doesn't for any other captain and she is painfully aware of that and owns that and that is why I love her and she's my captain.

[sketchmatters]

man i hate twitter. if i didnt need a social media presence for art, i would delete it immediately. g@m3rz are pissing me off

[charlesslut16]

-I love you-

summary : max's helping you with your eating disorder...

PAIRING : max verstappen! fem!reader

WARNINGS : angst, eating disorder, curse words, mentioning of throwing up

NOTE : i also struggled from a eating disorder and know how hard it is. If you have problems with eating, you can talk to me i'm here for you guys. I love you

masterlist

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You had an eating disorder, a terrible one at that. It was really hard for you to eat as much and like everyone would. You always tried eating when no one was there to witness it.

People always asked why it was such a big deal, and you didn't know how to answer the question, because you didn't know what to say. It just was really hard talking about it.

But you luckily have an amazing boyfriend, max, who is always there for you. 

He tried to get you motivated every time, and it luckily worked. Well, most of the time...

For example, today was a really bad day for you, and after eating you felt guilty, so you went to your bathroom and made you threw up. Not one but two times at that.

You thought you would gain too much weight, and you would get hated on. You also thought that if you gained too much weight, Max would want to be with you anymore.

After all, he was a two - time world champion, and you were just a girl from England.  Every girl wanted to be in a relationship with him, but he only wanted you. 

You started sobbing and feeling guilty again of what you just did. You threw up, although you promised max you wouldn't do it anymore. Not only that, but you were doing so well, but today was just a down day.

The front door opened, the keys jiggling and the door closing again. Shit. You heard max call after you in the house, but didn't get anything back. It made him suspicious, so he went to the bathroom and heard you crying.

Max barged into the bathroom, seeing you looking up at him. He had a confused look on his face until your eyes met. He saw the tears and the guilt on your face.

"Hey shat, what’s wrong" he asked, kneeling down and siting next to you on the floor. Max pulled you into his arms, so you could cuddle you in his warm arms.

You tried to say something, but the words didn't come out, instead you hugged him and cried even more. You thought Max would be mad at you, but he wasn't, he had an understanding look on his face.

"Shh, it's okay. I’m here. Nothing is going to happen." he whispered softly in your ear. Then he gave you a kiss behind your ear shell and then on your head.

After a while, you dozed off. So he carried you in to your bedroom, to your bed, and cuddled you into him. You woke up again, looking up at him. Max sees you looking up at him. The look on your face telling him that you didn't want to talk about it.

So He put a movie on, laid down with, so your head laid on his chest while you watched the movie on the television. <Soon after, you fell asleep again while he was cuddling you.

"You're the most beautiful person i've ever seen. The funniest and loyalest woman I have ever met.  I hope you’ll see it to one day.  I love you so much, mijn hart." he whispered while you were already asleep. 

[dumplingprincessextraordinaire]

I try not to post too much about antis because I want the proship tags to be filled with happiness more so than rants, but I haven’t seen anyone point these two people out much so here I go.

Britney Venti and Meatcanyon. MC is simple. He uploaded a video called “the worst fandom” and basically shat on lolicons and spread that stupid school of thought “your brain can’t tell the different between drawings and the real thing-“ No meaty, maybe YOUR brain can’t tell the differences but most of us well adjusted adults CAN. In fact, I think he maybe really can’t tell the difference, remember that disgusting video where he drew that foot ball player getting grossly intimate with his son (a real child, a real father) AND then made a joke about the foot ball abusing the wife for laughs? A real woman as well I’m assuming? Maybe I’m just sensitive to women’s issues because I am one, but gross. Why didn’t more people call Meaty out for that?? I didn’t hear a buzz or a thing about it.

Okay so Britney Venti. Basically she’s a pickme who hates other women, shits on sex workers and lolicons alike. She also likes to join discord servers that are properly marked and labeled as the exact thing she hates just to ���expose them”.

At first she’ll try to shit on sex workers by saying stuff like “well I’m just looking at the fact and the psychology about how sex workers are always depressed and aboooosed” and then she’ll turn around and make fun of these same women with really petty low jabs like “wow she looks so retarded and talks funny” (a Venus angelic video iirc) to top all of that off, she’s also apparently dating the incel king himself think before you sleep SO.

And to be clear, I’m a little murky on how good sex work actually is for women myself. I honestly don’t know and I have some misgivings about it, but the difference between Britney and I, is that I’ll never make fun of SWer’s abuse stories, body shame them or victim blame them for what they’ve been through. Basically, Britney sweetie, maybe your brain hasn’t quite caught up to this type of nuance yet, but you can dislike sex work without hating sex workers and being misogynistic.

Oh yeah, after spending years attacking that shark girl vtuber and intruding on proship spaces and saying we’re all monsters, someone dug up a clip of her flirting with a little boy on stream. SO.

[dietmountaindewbae]

what about fetus sub Al?

xxii. room on fire

alex turner x reader

word count: 7784

summary: Alex (btb!), Andy, and Matt invite you to see The Strokes live in London

warnings: sp*t, unpr*tected s*ex

song recommendation: automatic stop by the strokes

───── ୨୧ ─────

Closing shut your locker you grab your heavy backpack on your shoulders, the day felt like it was slower than ever but you were happy your next period was a little more fun, literature with your favorite teacher, you read a few pages of the book you were reading in class at home when you couldn't sleep, hearing some music while at it, a lot of people hated to read with music but it just fed your imagination.

Suddenly you heard three voices calling out your name from the hallway, running up to you, "You won't believe it!" Andy said to you, "You won't, you won't!" He said as he giggled from the excitement of Alex and Matt catching up to him.

"Won't believe what? Why? What's going on?" You asked them, they were all jumping up and down nudging at each other's shoulder, smiling at a piece of paper, they were acting like three little girls finding out their crush likes them.

"You will shit yourself!" Matt said.

"It's not me that has" The bell rang meaning to go inside the class, the teacher could be fun and all but hated delay, "I can't with you three seriously, I'll see you in class" You walked in, Alex and the rest following behind you, and that's when they all circled you, "Quit the bullocks, what's going on?"

"Guess who's coming to London?" Alex said, he was blushing from the joy, and you hummed.

"The vines?" You guessed, they all said no with their head, if they were this excited it had to be huge, and that's when it clicked, "...The strokes?" You said with a hint of doubt, Alex finally showed you that piece of paper, and you gasped so loudly, "Really?!"

"It's official, we have to go!" Matt announced.

"Go where mister Helders?" The teacher came inside making Matt's smile turn into a serious one, he looked like he had shat himself... again.

"N-Nowhere" He answered.

"Go back to your seat, please" He nodded sitting behind you while Alex sat next to you.

"Come with us, love, we don't always get to be 16 and go to a Strokes concert" He whispered to you, "Everyone is coming!" He insisted.

"Of course, I want to go, I'll do my best to convince my mum.... plus, what's the point of having a strokes shirt if I haven't seen them live?"

"Young lady if you're going to socialize with Alex let it be outside" The teacher raised his voice, the rest teasing the both of you with their stares and giggles, you and Alex were close, but not as close as you'd liked, he hardly ever spoke to you about a secret he had, or when he was feeling down, yes, he did it sometimes, but not as much as Matt or Andy talked to you, you tried to make him, but it maybe wasn't as easy for him to trust you, you wondered why, you've known each other since middle school, he wasn't always like this.

"Sorry," You said giggling along with Alex.

"Do you think everyone at school will go? Like... Lauren maybe?" Lauren, what else could you say? She was your friend, not your best friend but you hung out with her often, Alex and Lauren talked a lot too, he said it was friendly but what Lauren said was different, you didn't know why but when he asked you about her you felt a little off.

"O-Oh, I don't know, maybe" She liked pop music better but she pretended to like them because of Alex, she liked him but he played dumb about it, and when Lauren noticed that she began to play dumb as well, hoping that it'll grow some interest on him, maybe it was working.

"I hope you can come with us, we'll book a room and everything, I'll talk about it later with me mum"

"How's Penny?" You asked dearly, she was the kindest and coolest woman you'd ever met, and for the rest of the class, you kept whispering to Alex about how excited you felt.

[...]

A few days passed and soon enough Andy got tickets for the three and begged their mums for a room in any place they could get them, your mum wouldn't agree to let you go with three boys to London for a massive gig of some "messy" rock band, you were short on money, and for what you knew everyone was going, except for you, either you got a job fast or not go at all.

"Girls, you won't believe it!"Lauren announced during lunch some other band would come to London as well, she already had her tickets to The Strokes, but she sounded way more pumped about this other band, so you sat there, ears pitched, on the look for what was she going to say next.

"So what are you going to do?" Your friend asked.

"I'm selling my ticket for The Strokes," Your heart skipped a beat and you were fast to say you wanted it.

"How much?" She gave you the price, but you were still short though, you had to think of a bribe she couldn't say no to, "How about I give you what I have on me and... do your homework for a month" Lauren laughed at you.

"Until the end of the year!" She demanded, you stood your ground.

"It's for a month, you should be thanking me" It was a good deal, you weren't just giving her money but you were saving her from getting kicked out of school for skipping class to go out with his 20-something boyfriend-situation.

"Deal" She handed you the ticket, and you gasped and hugged her, "Have fun" She rolled her eyes.

"Thank you!" You took your things and ran to get to Alex, all three of them had breakfast outside by the hidden threes to have a smoke, you had never felt so excited before, your little heart was about to beat out of your chest, and your lower abdomen hurting because you were running too fast, pushing people away, until you crashed with a boy falling on your ass, "Oh, Alex!"

"Love, a-are you ok?! Oh God, I'm so sorry I didn't see you" He helped you, picking you up from the floor, and you gasped his name, "What's wrong?"

"Guess who's going to the gig?" He gasped as you showed him the ticket.

"You're coming with us?!" He spun you around, picking you up in the air, "Oh my god! That's so great" He hugged you so tightly you were happy to feel short on air, "I knew you would manage to go, so I booked an extra room for you, I knew you would make it" You hugged him close, it was so nice and considerate for him, you didn't expect for him to do such a thing.

"I'll give you back every penny! You didn't have to" He shrugged and waved it off, scratching the back of his head.

"I suppose that's what mates do, right? Besides, you shouldn't be thanking me, you should be thanking Penny" You broke into laughter with him, your eyes locked in a stare, "We made it!"

"I know, we're going to see The fuckin' Strokes!" You yelled, "We're going to fuckin' London to see The Strokes baby!" You both jumped up and down like little children, you were so happy feeling the euphoria of just the thought, and then it died as your mind couldn't escape reality, 'not that fast' it said, "Shit..."

"What?" He says.

"Me mum, she's gonna kill me... and I need the money for the train!" Alex pursed his lips and you massaged your forehead, a pulsing pain in your head increased, and your stress murdered your excitement.

"We'll figure summat out... leave it to us"

That same afternoon, around 6 o'clock your door was almost knocked over by the various and brutal knocks on it, you went running downstairs in your pajamas and a giant wet towel on your head, "Oi!"

"It's us!" Andy said from the other side of the door.

"What the fuck are you-" They shushed you, coming in one after the other, you pulled Alex to the side, "What are you doing?" You whispered.

"Taking care of it just as I promised... nice pajamas" He joked, your snoopy pajamas were your favorite, and you followed Alex into the kitchen where your mum was. You are certain that she won't let you go after this, she hates it whenever people just come into the house with no warning, but she said hello to all of them with a warm hug and a smile, they bribed your mum with her favorite biscuits and tea.

That evening, they made a PowerPoint slide called "10 reasons why your daughter should be allowed to go with us"

"No. 1 reason is..." Matt said, "She'll be well taken care of, protected, and have her own space"

"No.2 is, she's the only one with enough brains to lead us through London," Said Andy.

"No 3. is, we're proper lads, and we'll behave as such" Alex smiles at you.

Seven slides after, and a couple of biscuits and cups of steaming tea, your mum agreed to the proposal, mainly because they had taken the time to make the slides and gave her plenty of reasons to trust you with their company, after all, she's practically best friend's with Matt's mum and had a good concept of Alex and Andy, maybe she was in a good mood today. After the boys left, you were left alone with your mum cleaning the dishes as she gave you the money for your train ticket, and you spent the night packing with a smirk on your lips, listening to the strokes on your MP3 all night.

You kept counting the minutes to see them, and when the time arrived you were bright and early at the station, smiling at Alex when you saw him waiting for you at the entrance, "Ready?"

"I was born ready for this moment" You exaggerated making him break into laughter, "Where's Andy and Matt?"

"They took the train earlier to check us in, so once there, we'll just shower and go" You jumped up and down feeling your heart pumping faster, "I'm delighted you came with us actually, so happy"

"Why?" You said once inside the train, Alex like the gentleman he is and the one he promised to be, put your bags away, "Dips on the window" You said.

"Knew it," He sat next to you, unwrapping his scarf, "Well... to be honest, I don't think Lauren likes the strokes with the same passion as me and you do"

"But... even if she doesn't like them, I thought you liked her," You said to him puzzled, "I mean... you're always talking to her, hugging, kissing her cheek... thought you'd be happier if she came" He even kissed her at a party once, even though he says he doesn't remember doing such, you did, and you didn't want to sound so bothered by it but you were, it made you feel strange, even a little jealous.

"But that doesn't mean I like her, besides, I think she only likes them bigger boys, way more fitter than me" He cleared out, and you playfully squeezed his arm.

"You're quite fit Alex, don't say that" He scratched the back of his head again, you notice he often does it when he's nervous, he takes a peek at the book you take out from your purse, along with your music and your wired headphones.

"What 'ave you got there?" He takes your book away from you, it was an edition of Edgar Allan Poe's poetry, then he grabbed your MP3, going through your music, he had grown interested, he didn't understand why he wanted to touch your stuff, wanted to see what's inside your purse, your books, your music library, your head, he wanted to know more, he always did, "You win the prize for the most interesting girl... not that you're not pretty, you're beautiful" He talked to you with such shyness it made you feel special, and the look in his eyes, the little sparkle in them, he bites down on his tongue, feeling as though he had completely fucked up with the words he chose to say, you weren't answering and he was panicking, you stared at him with a grin on your face, it made him feel nervous, his stomach going in circles.

"Thank you" You answered, he could finally breathe, "D'ya wanna share?" He hummed as a yes, discreetly sitting closer to you so you could share your music, and your book with him, you smiled at him, watching the threes go by one by one, all in a row, a beautiful landscape hidden in between them, watching them go by so fast made your eyes tired, your head fell to his shoulder you were quick to take it away.

"Oh sorry," You said to him taking a little space but he pulled you in, wrapping his arm around your shoulder as an instinctive, a few butterflies woke in your stomach, and in him too, even if he wasn't sure what was he doing, he went with it when he saw a beautiful smile appear on your lips.

"Don't worry, you can fall asleep, that's what me shoulder is for" He smiled at you so kindly, it made your heart melt, his sweet cologne, his soft skin, and his coffee brown eyes, you could spend the whole train ride counting his long eyelashes, and then, you fell asleep on the crook of his neck, and he rested his head on yours, you felt safe and warm.

A few hours on the train, and one taxi drive later you arrived at the hotel, the boys ordered some pizza, but you were thinking about looking flawless, so you juggled between having pizza and applying eyeshadow, it was hard but it paid it off very nicely, you heard one thousand knocks at your door.

"Can we come in?!" Matt asked, you opened the door with your toothbrush in your mouth.

"Hey! I swear, give me two seconds" You gathered your hair into a ponytail to spit on the sink, Matt, and Andy laughed at how funny you sounded, but Alex was in awe, you had chosen to wear your strokes shirt but you customized it into your own original off the shoulder shirt with some holes poked in it, you had traced the outline of the boys from a magazine, and painted them on your shirt with black paint and a thin brush, it fitted you big like a dress, fishnets, and your dirty old motorcycle boots, but what had him so invested on you were your eyes, even in the dark they sparkled, and your red plump lipstick.

All of them were dressed in their best gowns, wearing light washed ripped denim jeans, chunky belts under their graphic tees, and tracky shoes, zip ups, and denim jackets, Alex's messy and spiky hair looked cute on him, he chose to wear a white striped blue navy shirt, ripped denim, his jean jacket and dirty reeboks.

"Take as long as you need" He whispered, again Andy and Matt laughed at Alex signing him to sit on the bed next to them.

"You got that look on your face man" Matt teased, while Alex denied it.

"What face? What look?" Matt signed him to look at himself in the mirror, his cheeks were flushed, his mouth dry, and his heart going fast, he looked flustered.

"That face" Alex rolled his eyes and gave him a little smack on the head.

"Fuck off," Alex said to Matt.

"I can see little birds around your head and everything" Andy teased, but as Alex was about to say something else you walked out.

"Done! Let's go, let's go!" You grabbed your giant messy leather stubbed purse fixing your hair before leaving, "Wait, do you guys think I look ok?" Matt and Andy put their thumbs up, they were in a hurry.

Alex was the only one who came back and looked at you from bottom to top, his eyes smiled at yours, and said, "Gorgeous" He grabbed your hand and shut the door.

The venue wasn't big enough to fit the number of people inside, all pilled up together outside the Alexandra Palace, it felt like a huge ball of mass, you were holding on to Alex's arm for dear life, shaking from the cold, he noticed it and gave you his jacket since he knew you would be too embarrassed to ask, he felt like he had acquired a roll, as your protector, someone who not for one second would take their eyes off of you, even if his arms looked so thin they were strong, he made sure to take good care of you, and not only that, he proved himself he was good enough to be with someone like you. He hadn't noticed how much he liked you until you softly slept on his shoulder, his stomach felt the butterflies much bigger, wilder, his heart had warmed up for you, and he never admitted to it, until spending that ride on the train, he had always wondered with that idea on his head, he always wanted to get to know you better, take you out, but he couldn't, he knew he wouldn't ever, he never wanted to be your friend, and whenever he talked to you he knew if he had the chance to make out with you he would, and that would ruin everything because he knew he wouldn't let go of you after that, it was different with Lauren, she was the only thing that kept him from acknowledging the fact that he only wanted you. Once inside you pushed your way to the front, Alex behind you, his arms caged you against the barricade, grasping it for dear life, making sure not to squeeze you as more people tried to make their way to the front.

Suddenly the lights changed color, and everyone started screaming as Julian came out from the back, you jumped up and down like a little girl, he was so hot when he looked all sweaty and messy, everyone began to cheer and you joined in, it was huge, your euphoric heart was beating in your ears when they opened the gig with Reptilia, you were having the time of your life, hugging the people you loved the most, taking pictures of everyone all together, you never expected to meet them, you never believed in the right place, right time until you teamed up with them, even if it sounded silly, those boys really made you laugh, mostly the one that grasped your arm tightly, you took his arm away, but quickly grabbing his hand, for a moment his heart had shrunk but rushed back when you took his hand, and your eyes so tender, he was melting.

You found yourself jumping up and down along during Soma with Matt, just like two kids, the crowd was wild, you were screaming at the top of your lungs every single letter of their lyrics, dancing with each of the boys, there was crowd surfers, people jumping on each other, Alex grabbed your hand and your bag to assure you had fun, he was having enough fun watching you smile, and sing, twisting your feet, swaying your hips, your hairy was messy, and your eyeliner a bit runny but in his eyes, you never looked so beautiful, Matt nudged Alex's shoulder.

"Kiss her!" Matt yelled, "Go on, take your shot either you take it or leave it!" Alex laughed so hard, Matt had planned perfectly his joke as Take it or Leave it began, he could protect you, and be tough, but when he had to speak and tell you something so risky, he got scared of losing you, not only losing your friendship but also losing the little you two had built together over the years, he was so scared of not being the boy you needed, but he had nothing else to lose, the timing was perfect, there was no better place, he took the shot, and if things went wrong he didn't care anymore, he would still be there even if he had to start in first base all over again.

He called out your name, you were dancing with some random girl you met, and you turned to face him, he didn't look ok, he looked pale, and his sweat was cold, "Are you ok?!"

"Yes, I'm ok but-" He held your hands together, "I have to tell you summat!" People started to push you far from him, you were suffocating, not strong enough to fight it.

"What!?" Your ears were ringing from the loud music, he was trying to say something but he was fighting himself mentally.

"I have to-"

"Al, come closer I can't hear you!" The struggle to find the right words to phrase what he wanted to say was unbelievable, he felt so nervous and excited by the hope that maybe you could like him too, so he didn't think about it anymore.

"I like you!" He screamed but the music was only getting louder and the crowd rowdier, the only way to make it out in one piece was by jumping and throwing yourself to the front, you were struggling to reach Al as the crowd went crazy.

"You what?!" You asked again, you saw him annoyed, that look in his eyes was different, he was looking at you differently, he grabbed your elbow, finally being pressed up against him, he hugged your waist securing you in his arms, "I'm sorry I couldn't-"

"Shut up" He crashed his lips against yours, cupping your cheeks, deepening the kiss as the rush took over him, his body pressed up against yours, the room was silent and his lips on fire, his mouth tasting like heaven, his lips kissing yours until he was running out of air, he demanded more, so his tongue slipped inside your mouth in an eager but lovely kiss, it had set free all of the butterflies on your stomach, he was happy you returned the kiss just as eager as him, you bite down on his lower lip before breaking the kiss.

"Al, is that what you were trying to do?!" You smiled at him.

"Yes!" He sighed getting closer to your ear, "I like you, I have for a while now... I can't help meself when I'm around you!" He gave you another peck on your lips, it was softer and sweeter than the others but it ignited a fire within you, it tingles, and  you ached to be closer to him, it was never close enough, "I was too shy to tell you before cause I thought you wouldn't like me, I made excuses but I don't care anymore I just wanted to tell you, that's why I never made a close friendship with you, I never wanted to be your friend!"

Your cheeks burned as you kissed him again, it was more euphoric, scaling up another step, this time his hands dropped to your hips unconsciously, he pulled you closer, his arm around your lower back, while your hand was scattered on his hair, the crowd reduced to just you and him, only in that room, gasping for air but hungry for more, he couldn't handle it any longer and neither could you.

"I do like you, and a lot but I was also too scared to tell you," He shushed you with a kiss, he had always imagined this in his head, he always had a soft spot for you, always so caring about the others, a true honest friend, and not only were your looks, it was everything about you, he didn't want anyone else, he had to make it official, and the thrill got the best of him.

"Do you wanna be me girlfriend?!" He yells loud enough for Matt and Andy to hear it, they rush to save you two since you were getting further and further away from the front, they wrap their arms around you two, pushing the people away, jumping up and down, making Alex hug you tighter to him.

"So what do you say?!" Andy screams into your ear, Alex's brain couldn't decipher what made his heart go as fast, maybe it was the fact there was a small chance that you might say no, or the fact he was watching his favorite band live, with the girl that set his heart on fire since that kiss.

"I say yes!" You screamed to Alex, making him blush hard, you kissed his cheek and Alex tried his best to not hug you as tight since he was all sweaty, but you didn't care, you pulled him in closer, kissing his sweaty forehead.

"She said yes!" The crowd cheers you all up when they hear Andy announcing to everyone your answer, some of them were nice enough to make room for your little circle to go back to the front, Matt and Andy climbing the barricade while Alex held you the same way he did before, he gently puts his arms around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder, and you cup his cheek kissing his lips and his nose. He gets hypnotized by the way your body moves against him, the sweat that runs from your neck to your collarbone making your chest shine, the little strap of your black bra falling to your shoulder, and he doubts it but he slides it back in place kissing your shoulder, you knew this was something he was afraid to do, but he felt enough trust to do it, you smile at him, dancing, sweating and crying from the excitement, you truly felt alive in this moment, this is something that was meant for you, you were sad about the concert ending but it was the start of something new, only one more song left, and they sing a cover from The Clash as a perfect way to close it, you sing with Alex but his hands travel down to your hips to make you face him, and he took a step forward to kiss you with a tremendous passion, Matt and Andy cheering for him, you had never thought Alex would be like that, so eager, people were pushing Alex, making you bend your back over the barricade, and you laugh as you see Julian's face upside down but nevertheless Alex leans in to kiss you just like that, he pulled you back in to not let you get hurt, you feel it inside him, he wanted to touch more than just your hips, and that shyness only made you get hotter, you grab his hands and put them in your bum, feeling his cheeks get hotter, and your tongue goes inside his mouth the moment he catches his breath, you gave him obvious signs that you wanted more, and he was ready to give you more.

The rush back into the hotel made you leave Matt and Andy in the lobby, the moment they turned their heads, you two had disappeared into the elevator, being all over each other, all sweaty and sticky, you had little to no clothes, and you were even feeling hotter as Alex hands grasp your bum the same way he did at the concert, you were blushing hard, he was following your lead, paying attention to your moves, feeling good about himself whenever he heard you sigh, but that wasn't enough for him, he wanted more noises, more touching.

The elevator door opens and you grab his hand, opening the door in a rush, and kicking it shut with your dirty shoes, walking to the bed and laying down gently in the white and cold bedsheets, you shiver, and he stares at you with a smile, "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks, just to make sure he wasn't getting carried away or even making you do things you weren't a hundred percent sure of doing.

"Very" You answer with confidence, crawling across the bed and pulling him to sit down on the bed, you throw your leg over him, straddling him in between your thighs, "And you?" He pulls you in closer, sitting you directly on his crotch, that was his big answer.

"Can I?" His hands gently pull on the ends of your shirt, you give him a nod, and with the same gentleness he takes off your shirt, throwing it to the ground, you wore only black panties and that same beautiful black bra, it was simple but quite enough for him to get him all worked up, it was the first time he had seen any girl like that, ever, "Shit... is it too late to confess summat?"

"No, no, what's the matter?" You ask, getting a bit nervous about what he was thinking.

"I've never-... I haven't, you know... done it before?" You try to not giggle from his self-aware nervous self, you know if you did, he would get even more embarrassed, "I know you did it with... you know who, and I just... haven't had the chance, this is possibly as far as I've come to" He giggles from the nerves, and you massage his shoulders to make him feel at ease.

"And Lauren?" He shrugs.

"Never actually did anything with her" He confessed, "I just held back, wasn't ready... but now I am" You lean in to kiss him very slowly, "Now I feel stupid"

"Why?" You stayed quiet to hear his answer, you knew if you spoke too soon maybe your chance would get ruined, and you wanted him so badly, and he didn't want to feel unprepared.

"'Cause I've got this gorgeous girl in all of her fuckin' glory and I don't know what to do" You hug him closely, your chin on his head, and his hands lightly caress your back up and down slowly, you know exactly what to do.

"Just... relax, and enjoy the ride, don't think about anything... just let your body do it, ok? There are no wrong answers" You knew if he had no time to think then his heart and his body would do the rest for him, so you lay him down in the bed, feeling his shirt climbing up his hips, his boxer's band clinging onto his jeans, and your fingertips run over that uncovered piece of skin turning it into goosebumps, you look at him through your lashes as you hold the button of his jeans in between your fingers, he nods and you unbutton them, taking his zipper down and pulling his jeans off, he wore grey boxers, his cock battling his way out through them, his tip was red and warm, peeling off his skin as it grew bigger and harder in your hands, his hands run through his face and cover his mouth as he sees how your mouth opens to suck him off, the feeling of your soft tongue around his cock felt so good, kissing his tip and sucking it in your lips, your back arching as you tongue presses flat down on his cock licking it up like lollie, and spit on it, tugging it out.

"Oh... that's so fuckin' good love" His eyes roll back, biting down on his lip, his hands search for your hair, caressing it at first to then push your head down against his cock, you were determined to take him all in but you couldn't without gagging, you choke and Alex gets worried, had he done something wrong? It sounded like he did, "Are you ok... I'm so sorry" You grab his hand and hold it tightly.

"Alex... it's ok, don't apologize for that, you're just too big for my mouth" You climb into his lap, "What are you doin' with that shirt on, baby?" You tease him, enchanting him with your seductive voice, he immediately takes it off but never lets his eyes tear away from yours, you run your hands down his chest, so warm and soft, "That's better..." Then he takes the opportunity to unclasp your bra, sliding it down your arms and throwing it to the floor along with your clothes, he sighs as his hands slowly grab your tits and knead them gently in his hands.

"You're so sexy..." He kisses you slowly, running his hands down your smooth and fragile body, his fingertips grazing your back, he wants to touch every inch of your skin but wants to keep something from you, something that won him over, "Do you mind keeping the tights on?" He asks in his most shy and quiet voice.

"Why? Is that a turn-on for your Turn-er?" You tease him and he says yes with his head, now he has flipped your body to make you lay down, pinning your hands to the sides, and a smudge smile crawls to your face.

"You'll see now" He crawls down your body, peppering it with wet and loving kisses, he rips them apart with his hands, pushing your panties to the side, your pussy glistening with your juices, "Fuckin 'ell, you're so fucking pretty... I wanna taste it" He hints, you hum a yes immediately pushing his head down in between your legs, your fingers rub your clit and spread your wetness all over your pussy, getting him invested, if he could, he would watch you do that for hours, but when you were ready, he threw one of your legs over his shoulder, eating your pussy as if he was kissing you, spreading open your lips with his thumbs, and letting his tongue dance around your clit in circles.

"Fuck... me!" You choke out, pulling his hair and pushing his head on your pussy, his thumb pressed down on your clit, studying how your body moves with every touch or simple movement, he was amazed, he didn't even know what he was doing but if it felt right for you, it was right for him, and he thought about what could your body want, he was too ashamed to ask what he could do next, so he decided to check up on you.

"Am I any good?" You manage to push yourself up and say.

"Don't speak, just keep going" He submits to your orders, and keeps giving you head, he went deeper down, sucking on your little hole and pushing his tongue inside it, it turned him on so much, the flavor of your cunt, it was special, he could be smothered in it all day, his lips turned plump as he sucks harder on your clit and he goes back down to fucking your hole with his tongue, the sensation so overwhelming on your body, you feel something rising from there, all piling into your tummy, he sees you turning and twisting on the bed, your legs quiver, he sees the green light for him to continue, pressing his tongue flat against your clit, feeling more sweetness leaking out your pussy, and he doesn't end until you do, covering your face in the pillows so you muffle your moans as he licks every inch of your pussy and your sweet release, his dick was so hard, his impulses took over him, he climbed on top of you, throwing the pillow away so he could kiss your mouth, you feel his hard tip poking your inner thigh, "Fuck..." You sigh into his lips, "Do you wanna... you know?" You said with a giggle.

He bites down on his lip, his eyes sparkling, dark, and dilated by everything you've done together, "Yeah, I want to" He quickly fetches his jeans from the floor, Matt had once given him a condom as a joke before a party, and he carried it around just in case, but the one single condom he had, he couldn't find it anywhere, and he was certain he had put it somewhere in his pockets, "Shit" He slams his hand to his forehead.

"What's the matter?" You crawl to the edge of the bed where he is sitting, and you caress his shoulders, "Are you ok?" He felt like the No.1 idiot in the whole century.

"Don't have a condom" He muttered under his breath, and you quickly fetched your purse, you had an old condom in there, but nothing was safe enough, so you took matters into your own hands, you both wanted this, and it was going to happen.

"Get on top, come on," You tell him as you lay down in the bed, once he has settled on top of you, and his nose is grassing yours, you ask him, "You wanna take a risk with me?"And how could he say no when the girl he had this massive crush on was naked, on a bed, willing to give him what a man always wants, and there was not a single condom, "I didn't come prepared, didn't know this was going to happen, so I guess I fucked up too" You make him feel at ease when you make his stupid mistake that he was beating himself up about, turn it into a much human one, "So either you pull out or I will raise your kid into a killer machine" He breaks into laughter, blushing at your jokes, you didn't know what else to say.

"You know what? I think this was meant to be, love... right here, and now, as if everything had lined up for us, you kno'? I-I will pull out in time, don't worry" He kisses your temple, his fingertips lightly tracing the lines of your lips.

"Or... I've got a better idea" You tease him, "But first you better start fucking me big guy, and then you'll see" Alex pushed himself inside you with such ease it made a shiver crawl up his spine, he couldn't help himself, he moaned hard into your mouth, biting down on your lower lips, he makes a fist with the blankets, as his hips thrust inside your pussy slowly at first, but hearing those little gasps that come out of your mouth made him lose control over himself, gathering a pace that made your legs shake again, his hand slides down your thigh, putting it around his torso, you wrap him in, grabbing his bum and making him chuckle, he pushed himself deeper in, burying his cock inside you as he sees you bite down on your bruised lip, your eyes roll into white shiny pearls, his arms grabs the headboard tightly for support, "Oh my God... harder, please..."

"Like that?" You couldn't believe how terrifically good he was at this, and how he had the audacity if he was doing it right when he knew he was, judging by how hard you were trying not to moan, you were completely wrong about Alex, he wasn't shy, he wasn't reserved, he was cocky bastard, and you loved it, he knew what he was doing to you now, he was more confident about it, going harder just like you asked, driving your head to the edge of the bed, he feels so hot when your walls grip him, "God... you're so fuckin' tight" He hums at the feeling, grabbing your hips and driving them against his, the sounds echoing all over the room, you were sure everyone could hear it by now, you felt so close, you take your hand to your pussy, rubbing it in desperate circles as you bite on your knuckles, he sees everything so closely, how his cock glistens as he thrusts out of you, your pussy red, and your neck arched, your fingers so dirtily masturbating yourself, he was losing it, and he quickly pulled out of you before he could finish inside you, "Fuuuck" His voice shakes.

"Can you handle five more minutes, Al?" You were panting, trying to get your heart to go back to its normal rate, but it was so hard.

"Yeah, I think so..." You kiss him hard, pushing his body to the other edge of the bed, and strapping his arms down with your hands, he sees how your pussy slides down his wet cock slowly, your hair all over your face, you body covered in sweat, and kisses, his eyes focus on your hips, rocking back and forward, your clit rubbing against the short hairs on his cock, you didn't. know what it was, but he looked so hot with his little ingrown hairs, he looked more manly, his eyes couldn't believe what was happening, his brain wasn't working, he was just feeling everything so deeply, it wasn't just the need for the closeness or the warmth, it was what was behind all of that, the love, and the intimacy, you both felt it.

"I think I- fuck..." You choked out as he had taken advantage of the fact your whole body became stiff, this was the moment, he pressed your body against his tightly, feeling his heart about to beat out of his chest as he drove himself inside your hole, "Oh fuckin'... I'm gonna-... don't stop!" You cry out, you stare into his dark brown eyes as your insides squeeze out your release, you wanted to be the one in charge, so quickly push his arms up, pinning them down, fucking yourself into his cock, you were panting, and gasping for air as your pussy became a dripping and soggy mess.

"If I could cum inside you I would, but you feel so fuckin' hot... it-t's, you're-" He chokes in his own words, that same stiffness and need to keep fucking you until he finished took over him, he went faster and harder, losing control over himself.

"Come on, that's so good, Alex... come on big boy, you can cum wherever you want to" He squeezed your ass so hard, his mind clouded with lust and the pictures, and noises the came out of your pretty lips, this feeling overcame him, the sounds of your skin, the words that roll out of your mouth, your hands on his body, the love, just one last thrust of his hips and he quickly pulled out of you, "That's good Al..." You see his tip was leaking some cum already, you quickly get on all fours, and jerk him off fast with your hand, opening your mouth to let him slide to the back of your throat, and you pull back, sticking out your tongue so he could see himself cumming all over it, moaning and whimpering, so cute but so hot at the same time, he covered your whole mouth with his warm and creamy cum, you hum as he settles down back to reality, blushing hard as he sees you had swallowed some of it, but it was too much, the taste wasn't bad but the texture felt too much for you, you slowly walked to the bathroom as best as you could spitting that ball of cum off your mouth.

"I'm sorreh" He said once you laid down on the bed next to him.

"For what?" You ask him, and he shrugs and sighs.

"I dunno, I made a mess didn't I?" Alex beating himself up for that little detail in such a beautiful moment made you hug him closely, this was huge for him, and he wanted you to feel good.

"I liked it..." You confessed into his ear, "It was just that I didn't know what to do with so much, it's not a bad thing baby, don't worry about it" You kissed his cheek lovingly, "I had a great time"

"Me too" He turned to face you, your eyes focused on his completely, "And I hope we have more fun together..." He teased making you blush harder and giggle, "Sorry for breaking your tights... I'll buy you new ones"

"What you need to buy are condoms," You both break into laughter.

Watching the sun peek through his honey-colored eyes, were probably the second most beautiful thing, the first one was his face and big nose, how you love that nose and his cute smile, you were in deep for him, his arms around your waist, warm and cozy, and you didn't realize when you both fell asleep until you heard Alex's phone buzzing through his jeans, both of you woke up together as you heard knocks at your door, he quickly put on his same clothes from yesterday, while you changed into fresh ones. Alex opened the door with his face all red, Matt and Andy on the other side of the door with naughty grins.

"Matt is callin'" You stopped dead in your tracks as Matt and Andy look at you and back at Alex.

"There you guys were! Hello, good morning" They joked towards yours and Alex's red faces, you stood behind him and he glanced at you, "You have 5 minutes to be downstairs, we'll see you there, bye love birds" Alex shut the door, hearing their little laughs all the way down the corridor, and you couldn't hold it in either, you laughed and collapsed to the floor, your laugh so contagious him laughing just as hard.

In less than 5 minutes you were downstairs with Alex, him secretly holding your hand as you both check out, "That was very fast" Andy teased towards Alex.

"Fuck off" He raised his middle finger to him and Matt both, he didn't care about their little giggles and jokes, in this moment, it was sunshine and happiness, he wrapped his arm around your waist as you wait outside for a cap to come and pick you up.

Thankfully you were right in time for the train, Alex made a deal with Matt to take his seat next to yours in the back, and when the moment came, once inside the train he sat next to you, putting your bag away, and hugging you close to him in the seats, you stare into the sky as Alex's stares into the reflection of the window, your hands holding his as the other sits in your lap, legs crossed and your eyes a little tired but still mesmerizing, and in that moment he realized how much he loves you.

"What are you thinking about?" You say as you see him so lost in his thoughts, he smiles at you so brightly.

"Nothin'" He chuckles, you wait for him to speak since he has the words coming out the tip of his tongue, "It's just that... I'll need to check all my dirty jeans to see if I can find the condom Matt gave me"

"Oh... your mum won't be happy" You joke, and he pulls you in closer to him, maybe it was the boredom of the long train ride but, you inched closer to him, a not-so-clever idea popping into your head, "Hey..."

"Meet me in the bathroom?" You teased him, pecking his lips gently, he looked straight into your eyes, a small heat wave coming to his body, you weren't joking, he could see it in your eyes, you chose to wear a skirt on the train ride with some knee socks to keep your warm, you discreetly pull down your panties, and hand them over to him. He's in awe as he sees you leaving to the back of the train, into the bathroom with a cheeky smile on your face.

"Fuck" He sighs.

A/N

What?! Bonus chapter bitcheeesss! sorry for the 4-day vacation you guys, hope you didn't miss me much love you 💋

[adventuringalchemy]

saw this comment on a youtube video and i wanna talk about it a moment.

ivor was never a villain. 💀

like i don't get what's so hard for some people to understand that. he never meant to cause the harm he did. i see some people saying he intentionally killed hundreds of people. uh no, he didn't. he literally made the storm follow the amulet because he wanted it to attack gabriel. but keep in mind that even during the scene where he spawns the wither storm he tells it to retreat multiple times. he made a potion to destroy the command block. to kill the wither storm. he studied the command block to the point where he made an enchanting book with the power of it, even to the point of having it be destroyed.

if you watch him in the later episodes, you see who he truly is come out. an excited man who just wants knowledge. he wants to travel and adventure and be a true hero.

"bUT CHriSTOphER hE LikES To stEaL aND shIT On pEOplE"

dude, okay??? have you not done something that isn't normally you when you've been deeply hurt? it is hinted extremely heavily throughout the first four episodes that the old order used to love ivor deeply. but then they started hating his fucking guts because he started calling them out for being cowards and liars to the world. so in turn, they shat on him left and right.

depending on the choices you make, you can dig yourself into ivor even deeper. he talks about how no one has ever made a decision to be on his side before, if you choose to get arrested with him in sky city. if you save him from dying in spleef, he thanks you for it begrudgingly. all of this to say that ivor hates being vulnerable and exposing his emotions. not only does he prove here that he's dealt with a lot of loneliness, but years of trauma and abuse as well.

of course he isn't going to be the same when all of that trauma is resurfaced because four people who he thought were his friends were actually pieces of shit all along. even more so if you believe in the theory that he was in a relationship with ellegaard/magnus. might as well be the piece of shit they want him to be, right? he's so angry.

and as five years pass, during season two, he has finally let that rage go. now on my blog in my canon divergency i make it so that if gabriel doesn't tell the truth he never really learns to let go of that bottled up rage, but putting that aside, he is genuinely opening up and becoming a happier person. someone who loves to help others, someone who longs to help others. someone who loves to be around people. someone who can be a true hero, a true friend. someone who wants to rekindle his old friendships, despite all the nasty shit they said to him.

happy and loving.

ivor is not a villain.

he is damaged goods.

[lastweeksshirttonight]

We're back with Strike Force Five episode two, which seems to have randomly dropped at some point after I went to bed on Saturday. I enjoy when podcasts just randomly drop episodes, honestly, makes the whole thing feel more authentically chaotic.

I started listening to this while trying to figure out how to draft for fantasy football. I am not a football fan. I don't follow football. I don't know how to do fantasy. I very much procrastinated on that by doing these notes. My team is graded C- by Yahoo btw, which is two full grades higher than I expected.

Notes under the cut y'all.

This episode opens with Fallon talking about how he forgot his show's shirts glow in the dark. Apparently Billy Crystal tried to sleep in one recently and discovered this; John also noted a time when he was trying to get his infant son to sleep while wearing one of Fallon's shirts and saying it glowed "too well".

The audience for this podcast is obviously 30-something office drones like me. I say this because Atlassian is now running ads during the podcast. They must sense that everyone listening to this has it open in tab one while having their task-overrun Jira boards open in tabs two through five. John also completely "ruins" this ad - which was very on the rails for a decent amount of time! - by suggesting that Atlassian sounds like "one of those plans G. Gordon Liddy had to relect Nixon". Fallon also claims Atlassian is the name of his Fortnite character. (I wonder how my boss feels about both of those lol)

Everyone opens by briefly talking about how many staff they have. Stephen has 210, Kimmel has about 180 + 13 writers + a bunch of crew, Fallon thinks he has 305, and John jokingly says he has 500 people before admitting he misses his legal and research staff. He's ready to say things he thinks are true, instead of "things that are legally defensible".

Stephen: "Would you guys be okay if I had a little Casamigos, I got a bottle right here...?" John: "It's 7:30 in the morning, why not?" Seth: "That's like a 24 ounce 7-11 cup..." I'm so glad this is all in an auditory medium.

John is going to continue shitting on whatever alcohol company he shat on last week, and called it "pond water". I am guessing it's somehow related to Bud Light but that doesn't really track with tequila advertising, so who knows. I have in a past life had Bud Light Margarita in a Bag once, maybe John also suffered that unique hell.

If it IS Bud Light John is talking about, I have no idea how Stephen talking about Budweiser wanting him to be the voice for a Budweiser energy drink/caffeinated beer called B to the E/B 2 the E didn't get cut. This was in about 2001-2002, so well before Four Loko, and the ad copy contained things like "your friends are heading home AND YOU'RE JUST GETTING STARTED!" (John is quietly dying in the background the entire fucking time before Googling if it ever came out. It did! Fallon is flatly like "that's illegal" in a completely baffled tone early on.)

We are 8 minutes into an hour-long podcast. Just informing you, in case you were wondering. Why yes I am obsessed/bad at football why do you ask

Kimmel insists that his early seasons - "for the first eight to eleven years" - were the worst of anyone's on the podcast. He said this after talking about, on his show, Mr. T and Jim Belushi hating each other and almost about to fight each other, his cousin doing pillow-fights early on and causing a catastrophe one episode by fighting Lennox Lewis culminating with Anna Nicole Smith falling into a cake, and another pillow fight with Tom Arnold ruining his suede jacket. I forget that Kimmel is partially of the Jerry Springer era, if not on his late-night show then from his other work, and this just really reminded me of that.

Mariah Carey wanted to be interviewed by Seth Meyers during Christmas in a functional sleigh. John tells a story about watching Watch What Happens Live where Andy Cohen, on live TV by himself, said that Mariah Carey was in the building but would not sit on the side where guests usually sit on his show and was desperately trying to fill time. Mariah seems fun.

If I had to imagine Hell for Stephen Colbert, it would be "having to fill in for a guest on The Daily Show and turning down an advanced screening of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring". That scenario seems tailor-made to completely destroy him.

I'm glad I remember that Ben and Jerry bit Stephen and Fallon are talking about. I would love to know what this whole explanation sounds like to someone who does not remember the whole "best friends" late night "wars" of the time. Here's the bit btw. (Your daily reminder that the CC website sucks ass.)

I forgot Fallon started his show two weeks before Seth. I must have completely blanked out how quickly all of those hosts changed in 2014 (and then John starting the same year).

I'm with John on this one, "Allen key" makes waaaaaay more sense than "Allen wrench". It's a fucking key! The amount of shit I've had to put together with those goddamn things, it's not a wrench at ALL.

One thing I learned today: chairs are very serious business for most of the hosts. Fallon keeps a chair backstage to see how someone will look in chairs on the set, and to confirm that's okay with the guests. Seth, meanwhile, had chairs that John feel like he was being interviewed to be on Seth's show. And Stephen has all different sizes of chairs, to make everyone feel comfortable when they're on the show. (This is where things go predictably off the rails, as Seth then claims he has chairs that get smaller and smaller to keep guests on their toes.)

John's guest are was the most expensive part of his set, and they never used it. Somehow that doesn't surprise me. I was shocked they have a guest booker, though. (Stephen: "Wow what a cushy gig!")

Kimmel's live show ceased being live when Thomas Jane said "fuck" nineteen times on air and affiliates/censors were mad. Apparently on network you CAN technically say anything past ten p.m., according to Kimmel, but that's not the reality of the situation.

Seth: "People forget about the early 2000s. If you were a sports fan, you would often say, 'I wonder who won the big game... let's watch the Kimmel monologue.'" This is exactly what the 2000s were like, kids.

Seth and Fallon both were told by SNL showrunner Lorne Michaels that it would take them 18 months to get comfortable with their shows and figure out how to use them. Seth definitely felt that was wrong and he'd only take 6 months... but the first time he started the show from behind his desk was almost 18 months to the day from his first episode.

Stephen has an unaired 3-minute opening credits sequence that he wants to show on his last episode if possible. John also had a longer title sequence that he loved, but that his producer said he'd be constantly going over for time and he'd need to cut it down, lest he get continually furious over not having enough time for his actual show.

Fallon talks about how his first interview was with notoriously reticent and quiet Robert DeNiro, who gave Fallon one-word answers for literally everything. John asks if anyone told him he was starting from a high difficulty degree, but is interrupted by Stephen remembering a Space Train sketch in the middle of Fallon's interview featuring DeNiro.

Stephen remembers more about Fallon's show than Fallon does, which is wild. Stephen probably remembers more about everyone's show than they do, based on the first two episodes.

Stephen calling The Colbert Report "a totally different beast and maybe doesn't even fit in this conversation" made me sad. Tell me all the Report gossip!!!

Stephen telling the story of how he made the Public Access Show for Monroe, Michigan prior to doing late night is incredible. I remember watching him and Eminem do that show the day the internet became aware of it, and it is just a fascinating bit of transitional Colbert work. Also, had no idea they took over a real show... or that they got almost 0 viewers for it, lol. Here's the link to the bit, for your viewing pleasure:

Fallon must realize that John has said literally nothing for a while, because he asks how the first episode of Last Week Tonight went. John actually talks about hosting The Daily Show for three months. He says he'd never interviewed anyone before then (I'm guessing he means that as in "I've never interviewed someone seriously and with the eye of not taking the piss out of them", because he'd done MANY filmed interviews for correspondent pieces before then) and talks about the episode where the power was cut. They taped the episode on a camcorder and had to feed it to Comedy Central through Stephen's office.

Stephen then talks about how his first episode almost doesn't make it to air because it couldn't be exported from Avid. Everyone in the editing bay insists this is fine, and it did end up being fine, but the contrast between how CBS editing works and John having to go to another office to feed a show to Comedy Central is so interesting.

Stephen also kicked down a door after this. Please enjoy this mental image, you freaks.

John and Stephen sharing a bitter laugh over John's joke about Les Moonves in the background is fantastic.

John is the first person to bring up that Ryan Reynolds turned around Wrexham the team AND the city. I really should watch that show.

We now return to Last Week Tonight, which lawyers refused to allow to be live. (Knowing John's comedic sensibilities, I completely understand Legal's stance.) He acknowledges that they had too many ideas going together in the first episodes, including a pre-taped guest. The big thing they learned was that they were doing one show a week, which lead to research coming in throughout the week that undermined their segments, rewriting whole shows on Thursday, and the realization that doing the show that way was completely unsustainable. Having watched those early episodes recently (and I promise I'm still doing that in the background), this context totally explains the franticness and weird pacing early on. Of course things feel more didactic and surface level - they were writing full episodes in two days! The show completely restaffed and changed after year one, and John's "bones were as hollow as a sparrow". He also knew that anyone who didn't like episode one was going to hate episode two, because it was about the death penalty.

Seth's first guests were Amy Poehler and Joe Biden, because they'd been on Parks and Rec together and Biden gladly accepted being after Amy.

Seth's misplaced confidence in his pink eye sketch is very relatable.

Fallon texting everyone that he is basically dying of heat stroke in his room and is trying to leave to save himself is hilarious. Poor Jimmy, he's suffering and getting clowned so hard for it. AND THEN Stephen talks about the opening of Fallon's first episode and all the change he dumped on his desk and him. And Fallon had to run up to the roof with change falling out of his clothes. Again, all this while Fallon is having a heat episode. As John says, "we should rename this 'Asphyxiating Jimmy Fallon'."

Fallon is also vaguely losing his mind and forgets he can talk on a podcast, because he keeps texting the others his thoughts.

They actually address the hosting schedule! Next episode, Stephen is hosting. After that, it's John (I'm excited for the inevitable LMFAO retrospective and/or extensive discussion of penii on rooves), then "James Theodore Fallon".

Thank you for reading this ABSOLUTELY MASSIVE BLOCK OF TEXT I'm so sorry that this is apparently my niche right now, thousands of words on a 45 min to 1 hr podcast featuring five white guys. One day the John pictures will again outnumber my blatherings, I promise.

[awsugar]

best mcr songs and why

ok well my top 5: heaven help us, boy division, deathwish, vampires, famous last words

only the first two are in specific order

heaven help us has been my favorite mcr song for a looooooong time and it’s like. MY song. everyone i know knows what is my song. when i listen to it in the car, before the tour even started, i envision myself on barricade hearing it live and i CRY!! every time, like i’ve cried in a full face of makeup listening to heaven help us on the way to work multiple times. it’s the best….it’s everything. the first time they played it live on tour in europe my friend who i had never spoken to on the phone before CALLED ME AT WORK to tell me about it and i had to go hyperventilate in the bathroom. i held out hope all tour hoping i would get ut at one of my shows and i DIDNT!!! when tour was like over and they played it twice in la i literally was sitting in my bed SOBBING! at like 2am on the east coast…but listen i’m putting out the energy for them to play it at wwwy….surely they will have the time to play the bsides! or at least one of them. i’m serious like ok yes, hearing tbp live in full twice is going to change the trajectory of my life all over again!! i cant even imagine me and all my friends together hearing the heart monitor start without thinking well surely someone is going to projectile vomit…like. it’s that. it’s that serious. i’m going to rethink and grace and shit my pants and cry and scream and i may need to be airlifted out of the las vegas festival grounds. but heaven help us….i cant die until i get heaven help us!!

boy division just. fuck. it slays. i remember when it leaked. like the night before it came out there was a preview of it on like german amazon or something 😭 and i remember i kept listening to those 30 seconds over and over again and CRYING!!!! like sobbing, if i could get my og macbook to turn on i have really embarrassing pics of myself bawling on photo booth FHDEIKEK. but also i remember thinking, when it came out, i ALWAYS thought like oh my god this is going to go so hard live. SO HARD. and then they broke up and every single time i listened to it i thought about how we would never get to hear it live and what a damn fucking shame that was. and then they reunited and i went to the shrine and they played make room and i was like ooooooh. well now there is a REAL chance that i could hear boy division one day. i manifested it for the 2.5 years between that show and the tour and when i saw the eden 1 setlist leak before the show and boy division was on it i actually like almost shat in the office at work. and then yes they played it at my first show on the tour mk1 and like at least half of my shows on the tour i swear i made that happen by sheer force of will.

deathwish. just always been one of my favorites, it goes SO hard, it’s so fun to sing, it really like the melody of it just pulls on my heart it tugs it makes me so melancholy so. i don’t even know what feelings it invokes it just makes me FEEL. this big bubble in my chest. and the lyrics are so good like it’s really a quintessential mcr song for me. no one else writes music like that.

vampires is just like. idk the iconic. the first single. it “locked in that darkness” i remember when they played it for the first time in philly, bc we were all camping for albany which was the next night and we were watching the stream around a someone macbook in the queue and when vampires started ohhhh it was over!!! they played it at my first show in 2011 and even though i have like a horrible memory especially for my childhood/teenage years and i don’t REMEMBER my first mcr show i always like remembered the fact that vampires was like the best live performance of a song i’d ever heard, and i have been to a LOT of shows and i’ve seen a LOT of bands and vampires never fails!

and flw, listen…i know people like to hate on it!!! idgaf. it will never get old. i will never tire of it. it will never not hit me so hard. i remember being a depressed teenager and laying in bed at night not able to sleep just listening to flw over and over and over in order to make it through. plus hearing the crowd sing the bridge at every show ever…it’s the most magical thing in the world to me!!!!

[henrysglock]

you, after namedropping dani and sending (extremely obvious btw) hate anons to her, "we're not starting shit".

no but seriously, she's had both you and aemiron blocked (for a reason!) for months, so tell me why neither of you can respect that boundary? and all of the people supporting the dog piling on her account is freaking weird... all because she doesn't like vecna. (it's not ableist to hate a serial killer, and no, not everyone has to agree with your fan theory and, no, for the millionth time, dani never said he was born evil. which you should know, since you stalk her account like the window peepers in the sims 4 wicked whims 😕.)

also, making memes and bullying someone over having an opinion on a fictional character is mileven behavior. i hope when you're old enough to stop circle jerking over fuck ass stranger things you look back on this moment and cringe LOL.

I don’t know how many times I have to say it (I suppose it won’t matter, because I won’t be believed anyway), but I don’t send anon shit.

ICYMI: I say shit on main with my name attached, because I’m not a coward. I think this is made quite obvious by me…Saying my shit on main.

When I say I didn’t start this? I didn’t start it.

I didn’t talk shit about her until I found out she was talking shit about us. Read that again. Until I found out. Surprise! People let me know when other people are talking shit about me..Because that’s the courteous thing to do.

I didn’t say shit about her not liking Vecna. Hell, I don’t like Vecna. I don’t give a flying fuck if she likes him or not. My beef is with her calling Henry analysts irl rape apologists. I think I’m very much in the right to be a bit prickly in the face of that allegation. Me making a meme is not even close to being on that level of ridiculous and downright cruel.

I don’t appreciate being called a stalker, either. I sit here in my sandbox, I have fun making my analyses, and I mind my own damn business. This situation was made my business, so I minded it. Sue me, I guess? I respect that block every fucking day. I do not care about Dani. I have more important things to worry about…like my analyses.

I’d rather speculate about Henry than deal with this shit! And yet! Here we are. That’s why I made a whole fucking post telling people not to start shit on my behalf.

I never told anyone to say shit. I appreciate being supported, and I’m vocal about that appreciation. That’s not me encouraging dogpiling. That’s me saying “thank you for seeing through this bullshit”. I never told anyone to do anything. Don’t blame that on me.

Riddle me this though: I get shat on because someone else sent anons to Dani. She went off the rails about it, calling my friends and me irl rape apologists, and that’s fine by your (and others’) standards. But I make a meme about the situation, and suddenly I’m cringe/a bully? Suddenly, somehow, I’m the big bad here? 🤔

That math’s not mathing, bud.

[tenpintsofsundrop]

what's your opinion on Mel from tlou?

Tbh I feel like she sits in this collection of female characters - people like Lori from TWD, Skylar from Breaking Bad - where they are constantly shat on and called "annoying" and people fail to see their perspective and the intricacies of their characters just because they are women. And if they were men, they would be beloved by their fandoms.

To me, it doesn't matter if characters are "good" or lovable, if they are interesting and have an interesting perspective, have an interesting story, then I can't stand people shitting on them and reducing them down to one dimension and making them a villain just for personal convenience.

As an Abby fan, it is very easy to hate Mel. The whole "you're a shitty person, Abby. You always have been" thing makes Mel a very easy target for Abby stans. And I am not gonna lie, coming off my first interactions with TLOU2, I was like "bitch! Get away from my wife!"

But the more time I spent with the game and it's story, the more I came to appreciate the layers of her character and how she is really a desperate victim in the situation.

For one - she brings an interesting perspective to the fact that the Salt Lake Crew were child soldiers. On Seattle Day One, after Manny, Mel, and Abby's truck gets ambushed and they're trying to make it to the FOB on foot, they end up discussing the days of the truce - a time when the Seraphites and the WLF had peace and divided territory that the opposition wasn't allowed to cross into.

And through the dialogue, you can surmise that the truce was ended through one particularly brutal fight, in which the Seraphites used young child soldiers to cross into WLF territory, hoping the WLF would see that they were "just kids" and not kill them, and the WLF soldiers were forced to kill the child soldiers to keep the boundaries and keep the land.

In this conversation, Manny continually drives home the idea that the Seraphites are a crazed cult for doing the things they do, and that even though they were child soldiers, it was their choice to pick up arms and fight - clearly, he believes that it was his choice to he armed and fight when he was young, and not just a natural part of survival.

Mel is very firm on the idea that no child soldiers should have to be on the front lines of such a conflict because "they are just kids" and Abby is very quiet during the entire conversation - and this seems to be what softens Abby to the idea that one: they were child soldiers themselves. And it was fucked up.

And two: when she finds Lev and Yara, they deserve her help, because they are "just kids". It's at least one of the small factors that changes her mind about the Seraphites along the way.

The fact that Mel is willing to perform the surgery on Yara to help out, the fact that she's like seven months pregnant and she crossed through all the hellish territory that Abby did by herself just to catch up with Owen's ungrateful ass at the Aquarium.

I am not saying it's deserved, but it's no wonder she snapped at Abby. She probably knew that Abby and Owen cheated on the boat the night before (if Owen no-back-bone Moore didn't crumble and tell her, Mel probably found Abby's bra or something on the boat) and from her personal, she genuinely thinks that Abby is only helping Lev and Yara to get on Owen's good side. She doesn't know that Abby is having genuine personal reflection and wanting to change.

I think she's a character who is easy to hate on the surface, but if there are people who somehow genuinely like Owen, then there is room in the fandom to like Mel. Otherwise she is a sore victim of sexist goggles in fandom

[wewebaggit]

I don't really like Mike much, and before people ask, I know he acts the way he does to conform to a cishetnormative society. The fact I have to explain myself for this opinion and that I'm doing this anonymously says a lot about most Mike stans behavior.

I've stopped explaining myself. Dude's a fictional character. If y'all can call Will a cunt, Mike can get hated on as much as people want to hate on him. Mike is not hated for any "isms". El gets the girl in the way of the gay couple treatment by Mike stans and bylers. Will has had homophobic and misogynistic hate thrown towards him. Lucas haters are as racist as the show's writers. Dustin ignorers on this hellsite are the same folks who then shout about ableism and what not while relegating him to some comic relief when he's the one in the party that gets shit done. So as long as the hate isn't borne out of some icky prejudice one mustn't care abt who's being hated on, including the characters mentioned here. They're fictional. It's funny that there's not commensurate uproar for when the other characters get shat upon while Mike stans make up this bogeyman of nobody loves him and also fight that bogeyman constantly. They're annoying as fuck. And just so plain wrong about so many things. I read a Mike stan post saying that milevens can't comprehend the show. Don't remember who it was. And then their posts are mile long missives to the fandom about how everyone's missing the point that was never being made on the show. So ya. Don't take them seriously. They've earned the status of being the punchline.

[f0point5]

Lance girl here, I can't believe people, mostly women, are so caught up in the other drivers and TP not having comments to make on something they don't know about. It isn't there team. It isn't there issue. This idea that because lewis is outspoken about everything that every driver should. If that's the case and that's what they believe than let start with how a solid portion of lance hate is due to the fact he's jewish. Where's lewis talking about the antisemitic comments made about a fellow driver? Where's lewis when logan is getting shat on for being American and a "terrible driver", where's lewis when his own fans are trashing max? Where is he? Where are the female fans when all this is happening? They aren't calling on other drivers to stand up against shit then only when it suits them. Lewis picking and choosing what he's public and outspoken about is speaking volumes, and this coming from a lewis og girlie (not so much anymore, I've stopped buying into the hype of him being so woke and godly). They need to stop with the belief that lewis should always stick his nose in other people's business. Cause I'm sorry, while yes I believe there was inappropriate conduct, to what extent i don't know but I believe something existed, lewis shouldn't be sticking his two cents in when he doesnt know what happened, and when he should be worried about his own team and the lack of diversity he so rightly calls out elsewhere but not in his own backyard, all these women in the team yet few of colour. Fucking annoyed with the constant putting lewis ontop of the pedestal when he's just as drama inducing as fucking pierre and fernando.

Again, I think a lot of this comes down to how authentic one thinks Lewis is.

On the one hand, if you buy into his whole whole thing I guess you could say he speaks about what he’s passionate about and he’s not obliged to speak about every single issue if it’s not something that he feels is authentic to him. He’s not the paddock hall monitor.

On the other hand, if you think he’s a bit fake, then you could say that he speaks on things that get attention, when they are getting attention, and in the way that will give him the most positive feedback. Tbh I wouldn’t bet on Lewis knowing Logan even exists, but Mr. Hard Luck can’t really be seen defending the king of the nepo babies. Not to mention how much heat the Strolls and people associated have been getting for what people imagine their political views to be, lately.

Regardless of which side of the coin you fall on, the fact is that Lewis chooses to speak on things that further his brand identity.

Lewis is king of his own rock. He’s not the paddock hall monitor but he acts like one, he likes to speak as if his opinion should be relevant to the whole paddock because he has the grand qualification of…driving the car. Good for him he’s made millions but I’d be put off buying a Ferrari with him as brand ambassador. The ick is unmatched.

The parasocial girlies really do be out on this issue. They really think these guys are irl fanfic characters and think the drivers owe it to be the fan base to be puppet Disney princes in their delulu fairytale. Idk if they’ve been outside lately

[bohemian-nights]

People need to stop pretending Daemyra is some kind of epic romance with tragic ending cause they both get separated by death. It's not. Daemon is fated to grow apart from Rhaenyra, before his death (if actually happened) and according leaks this is happening, so why crying whining for it?? It's nothing new. It's actual Canon that Daemon is doing his own things without giving shit about Rhaenyra's will, cheating on her ecc. Daemon is not good guy, accept it, people.

They won’t stop. They are in too deep. Honestly at this point most of them think it’s more embarrassing to admit that they themselves built this relationship up to be more than it was because they say two white blonde people(one of which they lusted after and the other they could use to self insert into) in close proximity with each other.

I can guarantee them still being butthurt about Jonerys flopping and white supremacy is 91% of the reason why they ship this trash. It’s why they are holding on for dear life now.

And if someone doesn’t like wNt believe my a** on the second part and think I’m being “mean” to them why else would they actively say that Nettles who according to them isn’t a threat to their ship since she’s Daemon’s biological daughter(despite them bathing but a** naked together, sleeping in the same bed, everyone noting how loving he was with her to the point where he was gonna die for her, and the book even hinting at him living out the rest of his days with her) should be cut from the show because there are “too many Black people already.”

They don’t like being called out on their bullsh*t, but they sound like God damned Nazis half the time calling characters they hate half-breads, tainted blood, monkeys, and the n-word. Their behavior is straight up disturbing especially when you consider this is all fictional. They can’t even leave their racism/prejudice at the door for five seconds even in a fun setting.

I know they probably have some sane Dumbnyra stans, but at this point most of them need a head evaluation cause even they aren’t racist somehow they usually suffer from a healthy dose of delusion.

They ignored all the warning sign on the screen(even if you want to avoid the obvious grooming. Missy Anne literally getting abandoned in a freaking brothel then getting choked the f*ck out after giving birth isn’t a good look) and black out or did not read the book to proper up their delusions.

Which if they had actually read it they’d know it doesn’t support their dumba** headcanon that Daemon breathed, shat, and died for dragon KKKaren:

It’s full steam ahead on the selectively blind/illiterate train for them.

There was someone who Daemon was good to, Nettles, but they’ll never admit it because she doesn’t look like them. He was also good to Laena in the books, but because she’s Blackish in the show they are now repulsed by anything to do with her and Daemon.

[secret-diary-of-an-fa]

You’re (Probably) Wrong About J.K. Rowling

So despite being a British person and writer with an adopted trans daughter (sort of), I never weighed in on the matter when British writer J.K. Rowling allegedly said a bunch of transphobic stuff. The reason I didn’t weigh in publicly was very simply this: I couldn’t find the tweet or statement that started it all- the root cause of people’s hatred. Everybody alluded to The Terrible Things J.K. said but nobody was super keen to say what those things actually were. Which naturally led me to suspect that the whole thing was storm-in-a-teacup bullshit- a notion that I also partially derived from the fact that Rowling is kind of a milquetoast who probably hasn’t had a strong opinion in her comfortably middle-class life. If somebody online claimed I’d said something offensive, I’d believe them, because I basically start a knife-fight every time I open my gob. But J.K.? Do me a favour. Of course, I didn’t look very hard to find out what J.K. said, because the other reason I didn’t comment was that I didn’t care all that much. I’m a grown man. My contact with the Harry Potter universe is nostalgically rewatching the films once in awhile and maybe, at some point, playing the new RPG that’s just come out, should I ever have videogame money again. It’s not like I’m super invested in that world on an emotional level, because I only have the normal number of fucks to give about wizard children and the people who chronicle their adventures. So, my plan was to just never mention any of this. And then I stumbled on the comment that started it all by pure fucking chance and it was… so dull and inoffensive that it actually amazed me to the point where I medically had to say something. Yeah. I am literally incapable of shutting my fucking mouth when someone does a stoopid, as it turns out.

“Dress however you please. Call yourself whatever you like. Sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you. Live your best life in peace and security. But force women out of their jobs for stating sex is real?” (I think the implication of the question mark s ‘er, no thanks’, basically). And that’s it. Nothing even implying that trans women aren’t real women. Nothing suggesting that they shouldn’t be treated with respect. SEVERAL opening sentences reaffirming the rights of everyone to live how and AS WHO they like… and then a gentle reminder that physical sex is real and that some people have actually lost their jobs for saying so, which sucks, because you shouldn’t be fired for stating a biological fact (unless the biological fact is that you just shat yourself and you choose to share it, loudly, at an important shareholders meeting). That’s the whole thing. I mean, there are some follow up tweets about how physical sex-based oppression is a real thing and about how J.K. feels a bit hurt by the trans activist community for turning on women-born-women when they try to address that oppression in the employment sphere. But that’s it. Now, maybe she said worse things later down the line- but these are the tweets that got everybody to dogpile onto her and anything after that point has to be viewed in the context of a harassed writer getting increasingly fed up explaining herself to people who won’t shut the fuck up on the internet when she’d probably rather be doing literally anything else.

So yeah. That’s what everyone’s got their knickers in a twist about. And that’s really dumb. In a world full of genuinely hateful bigots, attacking someone for pointing out that biological sex is a real, separate issue to gender identity and that arseholes have gotten people fired over saying that seems… well, it seems like a waste of energy more than anything else. There are people out there who haven’t actually encountered the source of this lunacy and have just taken the word of Internet Peeps that J.K. is an awful person (‘cause getting to the bottom of shit is difficult and what’s a person to do? Not just parrot the last opinion they saw fart its way across social media?).

Look, folks, folkettes, moustachioed three-titted hermaphrodites and people who identify as attack helicopters (shout out to all my homies at the Rotary Blade Club), there’s a lesson here. And that lesson is that you shouldn’t believe someone’s good or bad because someone on the internet tells you they are. People on the internet are just people, and people almost never have the faintest fucking idea what they’re talking about. There’s also a really, worryingly high proportion of internet ‘personalities’ (so called because they don’t have any in real life) who like to stir shit for the sake of stirring shit. Sometimes these people are easy to spot, because they’re bugfuck-crazy right-wingers in tinfoil hats claiming that everything in the media is a plot to destroy traditional family values (the same ‘traditional family values’ that caused women in the ‘50s to overdose on amphetamines to get the cleaning done and fathers to try and beat the gay out of their children). However, sometimes, the shit-stirrers are just a teeny, tiny bit smarter and will use the genuine disenfranchisement of a group to which they technically belong to cynically elicit sympathy for views that would be obvious bullshit if the person spouting them couldn’t claim to be oppressed. Rule of thumb: beware of anyone who wants you to believe that they have it tougher than the slave who had to clean the poop out of Abraham Lincoln’s chamber-pot hat (Fun “fact”: that’s why Honest Abe’s hat was so tall: he used it as an emergency latrine while travelling and it had to accommodate the prodigious length of his turds). Even if the person is right and they really do have it that tough, the fact that they’re prefacing what they’re about to say by EXPLAINING THAT TO YOU REALLY SLOWLY AND EMPHATICALLY should really be a red flag- a sign that they’re attempting to obfuscate the flimsiness of the actual point they’re about to queef out their face-hole. That’s not always the case (duh) but it should put you on your guard.

I can, and will, go further: I have never had opal fruit on me! Oh, hang on, that’s a line from A Bit of Fry and Laurie. What I meant to say was, I can, and will, go further: you really shouldn’t care to begin with if a creator has iffy opinions that in no way impact their work. You shouldn’t even care too much if they’ve actually done terrible shit. Because at the end of the day, the only part of them that’s relevant to you is the work they’ve created. T.S. Elliot was one of the greatest poets to have ever lived… but he was also a raving fascist. Lawrence Olivier was one of the greatest actors of his generations… but also a barely-functional alcoholic who delighted in fucking with his old Cambridge university in ways too baroque and specific to detail here. Frank Miller: amazing graphic novelist; protest-hater and all-round tosser. Don’t even get me started on all the shit Thompson and Bukowski got up to (though not together… I’d love to see that buddy movie, but it wouldn’t accurately reflect reality). There isn’t a composer in the whole world of prestigious, important classical music who wasn’t, on some deep level, a really fucked up person. Francis Bacon rates as one of the greatest artists ever to have been spat out by an uncaring world, but he also systematically ruined the lives of everyone around him, including himself. My point is that you can’t demand your art and media comes exclusively from good people… unless, of course, you’re comfortable exposing yourself to a pitifully small sliver of culture and starving your brain into grey fucking wallpaper paste. Trust me, if you have to seriously consider your options on that one, it’s alarmingly close already. Allow the personal and private failings of creators to be personal and private- even if the creator’s an egotist who keeps bringing it up in public. Accept that, for you, the work is what matters because YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO MEET THIS PERSON OR HAVE ANY IMPACT WHATSOEVER ON THEIR LIVES AND THEY ARE NEVER GOING TO MEET YOU OR HAVE ANY IMPACT ON YOU OUTSIDE THEIR WORK.

This has been a PSA from the Foundation of Terrible Bastards Making Good Art. As both a terrible person and a great writer, I now give you my permission to fuck off.

ADDITIONAL: Okay, so having posted this, I decided I was curious enough to check out JK Rowling’s twitter feed properly. And, to my amazement, I might have jumped the gun when I called her a milquetoast. She actually has some pretty strong opinions,,, but none of them seem to be about trans people in general. She had a go at Nicola Sturgeon for putting a PENIS-OWNING RAPIST OF WOMEN IN A WOMEN’S PRISON PURELY BECAUSE HE CLAIMED TO BE A WOMAN, but that’s not transphobia, is it? That’s an issue of protecting prisoners without penises from being raped by prisoners with penises. The whole ‘is Prisoner A trans or not’ issue is just obfuscation being used BY A RAPIST to get into a situation where they will have the opportunity to rape more people. While JK’s phrasing might leave something to be desired (if you’re the kind of person who needs every phrase to be padded to sooth your ego), “don’t let physically strong penis-owning rapists near vulnerable vagina-owners in an environment specifically designed to make escape impossible” shouldn’t be a controversial thing to say- and has less to do with trans rights than it does with just... common sense, I guess. Look, I’m neither a TERF nor a trans rights activist, though I know people who are both vulnerable women and people who are trans. I am the fucking Neutral Zone between the Federation and the Romulans here, but could we please all agree that miminising the risk of rape in prisons shouldn’t be controversial?

[hopeymchope]

But are you against the HP game in the end or getting annoyed with people arguing over it? People are only pleading that they boycott the game because jkr holds so much influence because of HP and is happily promoting a game that helps support her own bigotry. She herself is not a neutral figure on her stances her media she puts out takes, it banks on the hatred for several groups of people and funds the means to continuously endorse that hate to keep that ideology in power. There is no neutral side on this really. There are so many posts here that at the bare minimum to boycott the game altogether because in the end that's all those against her can do. And loudly being against it is to spread the word in refusal of being passively accepting of it. It's horrible feeling helpless against her so it's literally all that's being asked here and not to push the idea away that buying and 'just enjoying a game' is harmless thing to do.

Note: This is a response to this previous post.

Oy vey. I’m literally afraid to answer this ask, because if I say the wrong thing there’s a good chance people will label me an awful person. I’m gonna lose respect, care, and followers if I choose my words poorly. It is DANGEROUS to have an opinion on this shit right now. 

What I dislike is not only the pervasiveness of the intense arguing everywhere on the Internet, but also the extremism of the arguments. The calls of "you can't be trusted ever again/aren't my friend/aren't an ally if you don't share my position on this video game" is what I’m most particularly opposed to. 

When I made my attempt to summarize the argument, I didn’t want to take a side. But I do think that, at the very LEAST, we should be capable of saying “I can comprehend that other people interpret this situation differently than I do, and that doesn’t automatically make them a bad person and/or unworthy of my care.” ........... Weeellll, unless the other person’s argument is that they simply don’t care about trans people or how any of their actions may affect them. Or if their argument is that they actively want to support the game because they want to support hatred and TERFism. If that’s the argument, then obviously GTFO and do not pass ‘Go’ on your way. 

But I’m sure you can grok the gist of what I’m saying here — as long as you’re putting thought and good intentions into your stance, nobody should have to be instantly vilified or cut off because of said stance. Making such a declaration is a very extreme one. ... And yet it’s a declaration that seems to be weirdly common on this subject.

Furethermore, I also have to wonder: Why is THIS GAME the biggest, loudest hot-button issue on trans rights? SURE, I’ve seen some people say “Never buy anything Potter-related ever again and also trash everything based on HP that you currently own” in the past few years, but that’s been nowhere near as many people as I’ve seen calling to boycott this one game specifically. You don’t see this level of passion over every other piece of merch being shat out. Where’s the calls to make sure you avoid every year’s HP Hallmark ornaments or something... ? Why didn’t we hear this much uproar over skipping the movies when the last “Fantastic Beasts” came out? Though maybe the answer to that last one is obvious: Not that many people give a shit about “Fantastic Beasts” anymore. :P

Actually, a much bigger question: Why haven’t I ever seen or heard anyone say “Boycott all the Universal parks and resorts” given that Rowling is getting a percentage of every single goddamn ticket sold... ? That’s a HUGE influx of income for her. HUGE! It doesn’t matter if you don’t go to the Wizarding World section or don’t buy any of the related merch: Just going to Universal and buying a ticket to ride the Velocicoaster or whatever AUTOMATICALLY puts money in Rowling’s pocket. So where’s my editorials about that?

.......I swear, if we could mobilize even two-thirds as much rage and fury when parts of the country/world introduce new legislation to criminalize and/or forcibly detransition trans people, the trans community and its allies would become a force IMPOSSIBLE for any politician to ignore.

[nonbinarymoon]

Sigh... Here you guys go. An example of both transmisogyny and transandrophobia and general transphobia all at the same time.... Will this be the trans community's sign to stop fucking fighting about who's oppressed and who's not and who has it worse and what agab is better and whether gender roles have morality and whatever else? Probably not but I hope this gets everyone back on track for at least 2 minutes if not 1 minute. Also to the radfems in this community who dont believe transandrophobia exists, tell me that 🐂💩 again after you see that a majority of these comments are targeted towards trans men. Trans men are men. Any trans man can get pr3g as long as they still have a uterus and are fertile. As far as I know there's still no abortion clinic drive thrus and pro life people unfortunately still exist and also the world hasn't exploded into oblivion yet.

Im not saying trans men have it worse than trans women or that transmisogyny isn't a big deal ofc(as you can clearly see especially with the first pic, trans women got shat on as well and if you think transphobia is even a thing at all you'll know this isnt the first or the last time bigots are going to shit on trans women), but if shit like this isn't enough of a wake up call for the trans community to stop playing oppression olympics with each other, I don't know what will. Shit like this is a slap in the face to trans people in general. Especially straight and mspec trans people. It's sad. And it's even sadder that we as a community would rather spend more time fighting over nonsense than fight perisex cishet bigots, aka our real enemy, like this. Perisex cishet bigots will hate trans people and try everything they can to strip us of our freedom and our autonomy regardless of our identity. Wake up. Stop arguing about shit just to argue about shit. Enough said.

the comments are not much better trust me I only found 3 comments that even mentioned the existence of trans people and I had to do quite some digging in that comment section to find those.

This world is only in trouble because bigots spread hate, not because trans men and transmasc people exist.

We already know how it feels. Its not a pleasant feeling. But I'd rather deal with that than transphobes. I think cishets need the old switcheroo pulled on them and have trans people be the default so they know the pain they make us feel every day. Also, to imply that all trans women would break up with and abandon any transmasc person they happen to impregnate is just absolutely vile. Trans women are not disgusting and cruel monsters. Trans women can have compassion. Trans women are not whatever other bad stereotype about women or cis men there is. Trans women can love. Trans women are not inherently bad people for crying out loud. Also, trans men are not hopeless. Trans men are not unloveable. Trans men are not meant be seen as objects reduced to their reproductive system if they get pregnant. Heck, trans men and trans women should not inherently be enemies to one another. Trans men and trans women can love each other. Trans men and trans women can be happy together.

Again. Trans women are not monsters. They are not mindless sex havers. They are not sperm banks. They are not predators. A trans woman's brain is in their head, not their pants. Trans women are people. Trans women are not misogynistic cis men incels disguised as women in order to oppress afabs(i cant believe I have to say all of this). Also any trans man who has bottom surgery is not able to get pregnant. So no. Not all trans men would be doomed to have children. And not all trans women would be the reason for said childbearing. Trans people are more than their reproductive systems my goodness.

If you want birth control and others to be available than make them all free. Stop making people pay money for condoms and whatnot. Demolish capitalism.

Not ableism/sanism as well... also dehumanizing people who acknowledge trans peoples existence and stand up for us does not make this any better. Girls can and do have dicks. Boys can and do have vulvas. Dick ≠ man and vulva ≠ woman.

Again, no let's not switch the roles. Honestly the amount of transphobes advocating to see the roles be reversed is honestly very creepy and feels fetishizing to me. What is this obsession with seeing trans people in a relationship? Why exactly is it that you want to see a trans man be pregnant, even if it will possibly make their dysphoria and estrogen levels skyrocket? What if said trans man is on T? What if said trans man is at the point where there's so much testosterone in their body that having a baby might kill them or at least seriously hurt them? Why are you so excited to see at least two trans people procreate with each other??? Just what? Im sorry but even if a trans woman and a trans man decide to procreate together, why are you entitled to their business? Why do you find that funny? Why do you treat trans people having kids as something weird or unusual as opposed to treating cis men and cis women having kids as the norm? Trans people are not a fetish.

And tbh this world would be a lot better if transphobes didn't exist. Id much rather live in a world where trans women and trans men are treated as people deserving of love and acceptance instead of living in this world that is riddled with hate and bigotry?

Also, to address the last comment, trans men can get pregnant. Trans men are men. Therefore, men can get pregnant. However I have not seen this world get any less anti-abortion since learning that trans men exist. I do not see lots of ultra convenient abortion clinics anywhere. I still have yet to see a pro-abortion ad on a billboard for the first time. I have yet to see reproductive feminism become more inclusive to those who aren't fertile cishet perisex able bodied white women. Terfs and radfems have not disappeared yet. Where are those fetus-deleting atms you cis women feminists promised society once you discovered pregnant men are in fact real? Where are they? Explain yourselves and no a joke or venting is not an excuse to be transphobic, you know better so act like it.