ericbrainhawaiitennis

[oozebrain]

Slow burn Art X Reader. Reader is ND, has anxiety, and low self esteem. I tried to make the reader gender neutral but there will be instances the reader’s transmasc status comes up.

M rating, warnings will vary from chapter to chapter.

General warnings for this chapter include implied abuse, mention of eating disorders, angst, an instance of a homophobic slur, adult themes, descriptions of starvation, poverty, and food insecurity, and thoughts associated with low self esteem. Minors DNI.

Chapter summary: You receive a great kindness from a strange man you meet in an alley.

“I lean on you, in peace,

Everything stood still, and you You sang to me so softly, You sang to me so softly. In the moonlight I see you in a ditch, In the moonlight you turn into a blue hum, And I thank you for the hope you have given to me, I thank you for the hope...”

Chapter 1

“Am I… am I being fired?” You ask, voice trembling despite your best efforts.

“Yes, this is your last paycheck. I took out what you owe me and left you with two hundred dollars.” Your boss taps on the exact decimal point before handing you your final paystub and check. Two hundred dollars. That’s all you had in the world. Rent was due tomorrow and so was your electric bill. You are descending into hell. You are shell shocked and all you can offer is a polite and awkward goodbye as you part ways for the final time.

Your boss had been waiting on the bench along your usual route to work. You knew when you saw him sitting on that bench with a paper in his hands it wasn’t good news, but you never expected this. And the reasoning behind it...

The reasoning made you feel sick to your stomach. A million questions race through your head and shame floods your face. Once you are out of sight the tears come, the anger, the humiliation. You feel betrayed and hurt, so deeply wounded that you are unsure if you will ever fully recover. You swallow a lump in your throat and snivel as you look down at your phone. You’re going to have to tell people. But what will you say?

Will you admit what you were fired for? It wasn’t bad enough just eating trash. No, not only that, but your love interest had thrown you under the bus and accused you of harassment. For a year he has flirted with you regularly, and loved driving you wild. He’s felt you up discreetly while the two of you worked together and he always found a thrill in breaking the rules. You were only wanted when it was a secret.

As seemed to be your norm, your status as a trans man made the situation messy. In your heart, you knew he was ashamed of his feelings for you. In his shame, he denied any interest in you. You felt as though he had forsaken you and your heart was broken. But still, you took the fall to protect him so he would not lose his management position. Of course he would not claim you and out himself as being attracted to “a faggot”, as your coworkers had put it. He said he loved you but his true love was his reputation.

You aren’t worth it. You never were.

You duck into an alley as a place of solace, just somewhere quiet and dark to put the pieces together. You had no food in your home, nor have you in a little over two months. You work in the food service industry and the smells, the sights, the sounds...

Your stomach cramps again at the mere thought of food. You manage to stave off a dry heaving spell and rest against the cool brick wall. You feel small, insignificant, and like you’ve been kicked while you were down. Despite the rapid weight loss, the dizziness, the headaches, they all looked the other way. You knew that they knew but they were not required to help, they were merely your coworkers.

Still, you feel betrayed that one of your crew saw you saving food dropped on the ground instead of throwing it away. It was regarded as theft in everyone’s eyes and the coworker had purposefully done it to be rid of you. This wasn’t paranoia or anxiety, it was just the hard truth of what life was like in the adult world, a world you struggled to navigate.

After a few moments reprieve you are faced with a decision: what can I do?

Dejection overcomes you. What can you do? Can you do anything? No, you know you can’t do anything right, something that has been drilled into your head every day for as long as you can remember. Tears come again and you walk further down the alley, further away from the sounds of traffic and passersby. You don’t want anyone to see you like this.

You’re starving, exhausted, and unmedicated. In addition to food, you’ve had to forgo your medication and the withdrawal still wasn’t easing up. You have to take your medicine with food and that hasn’t exactly been an option. You’ve barely been able to keep it together to go and work a twelve hour shift. Today would have been your second week in a row without a break.

‘At least I finally get a day off I guess.’ You think to yourself as you wipe your eyes with your sleeve. You take your glasses off to clean them and find yourself tripping over something solid. With a thud, you and the ground collide.

Collecting yourself, you stumble to your feet and adjust your glasses to your face. Turning around, your heart flutters in fear as you realize you’ve not just tripped over something, you’ve tripped over someone. His attention was fully on you as he stared at you with a stoic expression. Was he upset?

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there. Are… are you alright? Are you hurt? Im so sorry. Are you okay?” You inquire nervously, your words coming out a befuddled torrent of noise. The thought you’ve done something wrong again stabs you in the heart and as the knife twists you feel tears return to your eyes. No, not here. You don’t want people to see you sniveling and snotting around, “I’m sorry I... it’s been a really hard day. I hope I didn’t hurt your leg.”

Strangely, he offered no response. He was a thin, tall man, about six foot and dressed like a mime. Or perhaps he was a clown. Regardless, his clothes were dirty and the makeup on his face smeared to reveal the sections of the person underneath. The most striking thing about him was his eyes and you found yourself unable to meet them. Staring down a lion would be easier than meeting his gaze.

His lack of response revs up your anxiety a few more notches. You avert your eyes to the ground shyly, a prickle of humiliation creeping up your neck and spreading over your cheeks. Your ears burned hotly. Was he angry with you? What would he do to you? Did you hurt his feelings? Did you break his leg? Did this ruin his life? You ruin everything else, after all, don’t you?

‘Look at what you’ve done you stupid bitch’ the words often bespoke to you frantically cycle through your head.

The unrelenting hurricane of thoughts halt when out from the mutual silence, your stomach grumbles angrily. Its a miserable sound, different than an ordinary stomach pang. You grip your stomach and involuntarily double over slightly, a strained grunt of pain escaping you. It was as though you could feel your stomach shriveling up and imploding on itself. It screamed at you for something, anything, besides water and garbage.

Your forehead broke out in a sweat and you steadied yourself on a nearby pallet. You find yourself apologizing again and try to minimize, “I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well. I’m not contagious, just stomach problems.”

He watched you for a good minute before he started rummaging in an oversize black trash bag next to him. The man said nothing as the heavy plastic crinkled loudly. His mouth was slightly agape and his eyebrows raised as he peered inside, clearly on a mission to find something specific. After a moment he withdrew... a sandwich?

The speed and ferocity in which he thrust it out to you made you start slightly. It was as though he meant to throw it to you but stopped just short of actually doing it. You were dumbfounded. He was offering you food? But out of the trash, of course. How ironic.

However, it was in its original packaging, he hadn’t made it himself, so it was probably safe...

Your stomach growls again and the nausea overtakes you. Though you are ravenous, the thought of food is simultaneously sickening. You fumble slightly in your stance and grip your stomach painfully. The last time you’d eaten was four days ago, and right now a sandwich from a gas station that had been in a stranger’s garbage bag of curiosities was looking pretty good right now. It was either this or go another day hungry.

“Th-thank you...” You close the distance and tentatively take the packaged sandwich from him. He lowers his hand but continues to watch you. You can’t tell what’s going on behind those shark-like eyes of his, but he’s calculating something. It unnerves you, as though this is some sort of trap, yet still he makes no move to come towards you. He is still and silent like a statue.

A part of you goaded it was all just one step in his plan to overpower you. This city was not known for its inviting community. Still, at this moment, you did not get that impression. Instead, you notice something else. He seems overly comfortable sitting among the rubbish and disarray, as though this is a common occurrence for him, and it makes you wonder if perhaps he is homeless. A feeling of empathy and concern washes over you. He was so gaunt; he was starving too.

Though you were without food, at least you had a home. Taking food away from someone in a more difficult position than you seemed... greedy. Your anxiety ramped up at the thought of essentially taking food out of his mouth. At least have a look inside…

You open the cardboard packaging and the smell hits you like a brick to the face. Cajun roasted turkey breast, provolone cheese, tomato, some kind of fancy aioli, and greens, all on a seasoned ciabatta roll. You want to tear into it like a rabid animal but still yourself. You salivate so much you can feel it drip from your lip. You wipe your mouth on your sleeve with a hint of shame and look to him sheepishly.

“Here.” Withdrawing one of the halves, you hold it out to your gracious host. His eyebrows furrow, he frowns, and it appears it is his turn to be dumbfounded. You nudge it at him, “I don’t feel right taking it all from you, so let’s share. I think we could both use a bite to eat.”

With hesitation, he takes the sandwich and holds it, but makes no motion to eat. You, however, cannot stand the hunger anymore and, with restraint, take a small bite of your sandwich half. It makes your jaws and teeth ache sharply at the cold texture and invitation of something that has become foreign. Another small bite here and there… and then you break. You chomp, tear, and devour. You wolf it down in a matter of four bites, nearly choking at the speed and quantity of which you were eating.

You knew he was watching you but you didn’t care; you were starving and this was ambrosia. This was your salvation. Something primal within you awakened and you could not eat fast enough.

You stuff your mouth so full you cannot fully close it to chew and end up swallowing pieces whole. You ate through the nausea as your stomach tried to expel the contents and forced it back down. All you had been eating for the past week were ketchup packets and honeysuckle flowers. Finally, something sustainable, something edible, something safe. Something not dropped on the floor or left in the trash. Real food. It is less than a minute before you are licking the residual mustard and crumbs off your fingers.

After your hunger fueled trance you once again pay attention to your companion. You feel ashamed, less than. You feel as though you are a beast in human skin and shrink away some. You expect him to laugh at you or call you names, but it never comes. In fact, nothing ever does. He remains quiet, posture so still he could be mistaken for a mannequin.

He still has not eaten his sandwich and has been staring at you this entire time. The man gazes at you with a look of... what was that look? His face held a strange expression. It wasn’t disgust, it was something else. His mouth was slightly agape, showing his darkened yellow teeth.

You felt a strange kinship with him because of his teeth. Yours, too, were in a state of disrepair. Past years of daily vomiting and smoking had not been kind to you and, to top it off, you had not been able to afford toothpaste. You hadn’t brushed your teeth in a month and had several cavities and a broken molar. It didn’t help you’d been uninsured for two years. You felt like he wouldn’t judge you and you offered him a nervous smile, showing your teeth.

His lip curled into a sneering smile to mirror you. He was studying you so critically you wondered if he could reach into the depths of your soul and read it like a tangible object. It was strange, scary, and disconcerting. His look held no malice that you could perceive, but it was still unreadable and therefore unnerving. Whatever look he was giving you, you hoped to your god that it wasn’t pity.

“Thank you. I was just... I guess I was hungrier than I realized! Uh… Oh, um, If you need to charge your phone, the gas station nearby has charging ports, and the corner store gives you free ice water if you’re thirsty after you eat your sandwich.” You offer this knowledge in an attempt to be helpful but also change the subject. His expression doesn't change, his gaze is transfixed on the half of a sandwich clutched in his dirty hand. Slowly, he looks back up at you, eyes burning with curiosity, but at what you were uncertain.

You feel immediately uncomfortable. This is already a place you know you shouldn’t be, and a situation that you shouldn’t be in. Being eyed up and down by a strange man in an alley sounded like the start of a true crime podcast. Though you were seeking an exit, that was not the kind you were seeking.

You clear your throat to find your voice and offer a brief, polite, smile, “Thank you. Um, I’m sorry, I have to get going soon. But, thank you, again. My name is (y/n). It’s nice to meet you.”

He held his hand up as though to speak, lips parted but instead he drew shapes in the air with his pointer finger. No, they weren’t random shapes, they were letters. A…R…

“Art?” You ask and he nods joyfully with a wide, tooth filled smile spread across his face. You return his smile, be it with less enthusiasm, and feel yourself relax a little, “It’s good to meet you, Art. Are you ok? Did I hurt you?”

He waved you off and made a theatrically nonchalant expression before pointing to himself and then giving two thumbs up in response. You give a small smile again and finger spell his name in ASL. Art looks at you with confusion, miming you awkwardly, and you offer an explanation with every letter you make, “A-R-T. That’s how you spell your name in sign language.”

He gives a wide eyed ‘a ha!’ expression and repeated the letters with his fingers time and time again. He seemed enthralled with this new information and looked at you, expecting more. You weren’t opposed to talking to him, but you needed to get home. Now that you had relief from your hunger you were starting to get groggy.

Art waves at you to grab your attention and he points to himself then you before drawing a question mark in the air. After he repeated the motion a few times you realized he was asking how to spell your name and you happily showed him. He frantically signed both your and his names, his fingers flying furiously. Was this the first time he’s heard of sign language? Surely not… but the way he acted…

What a lonesome existence.

You were lonely too, and felt a connection with him. You offered a polite smile as your anxiety returned with a ventence at the idea of being alone, but it had to be done. Your body was screaming for rest. “I have to get going Art, thank you so much. Will you be here tomorrow?”

He smiled and nodded enthusiastically, the little hat he wore bobbling and wobbling around with each shake of his head. Art patted the ground where he was, indicating he would be right here in this very spot. The smile he showed you felt… warm? Perhaps excited, giddy even. Was he really that happy to know you? It made something in your chest flutter nervously. You were apprehensive of everyone after today, but if Art had bad intentions he could have well acted on them by now. You were curious about your new friend, and the idea of seeing him again evoked a flicker of happiness in your chest.

“Well, I’ll come by and see you tomorrow, okay?” Your response earned a joyful applause from him. He batted his eyelashes at you and gave you a playful wave goodbye and you couldn’t help but offer him a genuine smile which only made his own grow. You mirror his playful wave as you begin to leave, “See you later, Art! Be safe!”

You turn and leave, his wide smile lingering in your mind as the distance between the two of you grows. You look behind you to see if he is following, but there is no one. it seemed like he was a decent guy who was down on his luck, a similar position to your own. Perhaps this could be the start of a new friendship. You didn’t have faith you’d find him tomorrow, but you did have hope.

[seneon]

♰ LAST ARCH!VED ￤ STARS COLLIDE, WOLF¡DABI¡!

ABOUT. there is no resistance for the divine deity as you are simply a living sacrifice. highly suggestive content¡! ( short breast play ) omegaverse themes such as scent pheromones thingy, mating, knotting. but it's not too much bc i hate it LOL. and sacrificial ritual themes. wc of 1800+

NOTES. ok alpha dabi anon come get your food. YOO IM FINALLY DONE WITH THE HALLOWEEN MASTERLIST WOOHOO HAPPY HALLOWEEN SENATION

in desperate awe, you cling onto the fragments of the divine painting portrayed and gifted to your gaze. just like art, it almost felt like the heavenly angels were still working on the sculpture. albeit completed, it needed to be presented in perfection.

your eyes couldn't tear themselves off from the sight right in front of you. the image of a man, or a divine being, you do not know. he lays on his sides, elbows propped out to support his head as his free hands play with the white, almost gold silk linen.

but that is not all.

this being, so divine and beautiful as if he is the ultimate blessing from above. he bore the ears of an animal, his fingers and nails are long. it's perfectly shaped, along with his beautiful arms down to his chiseled and toned chest.

when touya's eyes paid mind to your existence, you froze under his cold turquoise gaze that pierced through your soul.

his eyes are beautiful.

you think to yourself, while your own eyes travelled around to drink in the colour of his hair as white as snow. there's a hint of a rather invisible gray veil covering him, and it made touya look even more divine.

“you're the one?” he asks, sitting up properly on the large bed covered in the finest and expensive silk blankets, covers and soft pillows.

yes indeed. you are the one. you were brought here against your will. your freedom stripped from your soul as the villagers have dragged you, a traveler from far away. you were to visit the divine being on your own accord, not have your senses blocked off from the face of the earth and only regain them back to be graced by such a work of art that laid upon you.

though his words did not strike you in curiousity, fear itched at your skin. what were you the one for again? you're here, dressed in a rather beautiful white dress, your hair is perfectly done, and beauty reeks all over you.

it feels like a curse and a blessing at the same time.

there's an odd smell that starts to circle around your nose, a sense that was once blocked off for such a long time you couldn't smell the difference between flowers and poison. this fragrance crawled into your brains and it journeyed down to your body.

you start to feel uneasy.

it's an uncomfortable feeling that wraps you around like the faint, merely visible gray veil he wore around him. it's now onto you, and the scent is even more dangerous to your nose. dangerously enticing.

“what.. am i here for?” you asked in a whisper as touya slightly tilted his head lazily at your question.

“what are you here for? do you really not know?” he repeated, his voice striking a chord in you, and it became poison to your ears. you can only shake your head slightly to keep the poison from spilling.

touya lets out a chuckle, amused by your lack of knowledge of your presence in his. there is so much imbalance in the power that you feel like a mere ant who dares to stumble across a human’s skin. a tiny smirk was carved at the corner of his lips as he gazed at you.

“you will be my woman in a few moments. i shall claim you as mine and you will bear my seeds.”

you are a sacrifice. a mere aspect in this living world that is to be sacrificed to touya, the divine being. what divinity does he even belong to? your eyes darted to where you first entered, then they came back to rest on touya's.

“are you a god?”

“perhaps. i am a blessing from the heavens. i rule over the wolves and all which are close to wolves.”

pieces of reality began to stick together like broken mirror shards who came together. the world is starting to make a little sense to you.

“so… i am a sacrifice to you and to be made yours in whatever way. at what cost?”

touya's fingers gently traced the silken sheets. “there is no cost. it's how the world works, pretty one. i am given a sacrifice that the heavens chooses for me, and i am to link my soul with hers and have her bear my seeds. then a new child of divinity will be made. what is the cost?”

before you could even utter out a string of protests, he holds out his arm and invites you to him.

“come here.”

and just like that, your feet listened to his orders and they moved against your will, lured by the allure of touya. everything has been happening against your will lately. you've forgotten what 'will' even is. you've forgotten freedom even existed in your world.

his fingers carefully took your hand, thumb immediately caressing your knuckles as he looked up at you and pulled you closer to him so you stood in between his legs while you gaze down at him.

“what is your name?”

you told him, and it runs down his tongue twice. your name sounded nice coming from him, an existence whose name you don't even know.

there the scent hits you the hardest. an immediate realisation washed over you when you realised you've been inhaling his scent all this time. it mends the strings of your heart to fall under his spell. your eyes gazed all over his face.

touya's his name, he tells you that. he's some worshipped divine being apparently. and you can't help but admire how beautiful he looks up close. you were in absolute awe at how flawless and perfect he looks.

when the caressing of your knuckles ceased, touya’s right hands found their way to rest on your hips while his other hand reached out to graze your cheeks. he then tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ears.

“you're the perfect sacrifice. so beautiful too. the angels have chosen the perfect woman for me.”

a faint blush painted your cheeks a field of bloody roses as touya rose up. his thumb that was previously grazing with the silk sheets now went back and forth on the skin of your cheek.

such a loving gesture that it has your insides fluttering. caterpillars have blossomed into butterflies to rage in your stomach, it seems.

touya leans in close to your ears to whisper a secret as if you do not know of it yet. “lay with me, y/n. and i will link our souls together.”

your blush deepens, and he moves to slowly push you on the bed. once your back hits the bed, he's hovering above you.

this divine creature, a perfect being who looks after the wolves. touya's a wolf himself, yet he's in this divine form so close to the touch of being human. it actually makes him wonder what is it like to be human. well no matter, he could ask you all about it.

you can smell his scent enveloping you when he closes the distance. his body is above yours, pressed firmly while his lips found their way to press against yours in the slowest and most intimate form.

it was like touya didn't want to ruin any aspect of this ritual. he wants it to be sacred like how his ancestors have made it sacred and memorable. more importantly, he wants to simply please his beautiful sacrifice and make her forget that she was even a sacrifice in the first place.

touya's tongue is engaged in a battle with your own tongue and the rest of it is simply the little sounds both of you occasionally let out. his hands feel all around your sides and waist, so gentle with it that it feels like the touch of the sun.

soon he pulled away, immediately pressing a chaste kiss on the side of your lips before his lips dragged down to your jawline and planted kisses along it. your neck becomes his canvas where he sinks his teeth deep into your skin and places his mark all over.

“it leaves a permanent scar, a reminder to everyone else that you're mine,” touya tells you before licking the mark he created. he pulls away to look at your messy breathing, cheeks flushed and chest rising up and down.

your eyes slowly looked at him above you, carrying the haziness that wraps itself around your vision. your breathing is ragged, hitched in every way as your fingers twitch at this odd sensation you're feeling.

a smirk crawls up to grace his handsome features. touya leans down close to your chest and his teeth takes the edge of your lace ribbons that ties the top of your dress together. slowly and carefully, he pulls away the lace in between his teeth to unveil the strings that kept you clothed.

he does that all his eyes are locked on yours. that lazy gaze who held something so dark behind them. your lace is untied, and his cold fingers slid the top of your pure white dress off your shoulders and soon they are stripped from your body. the cold air hit your skin and you shivered at the suspense.

touya kissed your chest and travelled his lips down to your breast where he began to trail intoxicating kisses. you can smell how potent his scent is, and it's killing you softly on the inside. all while his lips and tongue began to work their tantalising magic on your bare skin.

your back is arched in the pleasure he gifted to you, fingers immediately finding their way to weave themselves into his soft angelic hair. touya hums in approval at your fingers which hold onto his hair tightly while his tongue runs itself over your breasts and to embrace your hardened buds with his lips.

the uneasy feeling you felt has been defeated in a battle against pleasure. now all you can think of is how good divine wolf touya’s tongue and lips feel on your body, his smell that fills your nose, and the pooling feeling at your sex that gathered to stain you damp beneath.

it was silent the entire time. well not quite, for only the sounds of your soft and sweet praises echoed in touya's ears. they sounded like music in heaven to him. you really are the chosen one, a beloved child of the stars.

the stars above collide once touya finally intertwines your body and soul together. the wolves no longer has to worry about their existence coming to a halt when their deity has knotted a human sacrifice and she is to bear his sons and daughters.

the ritual is completed.

©SENEON 2024 ♰ D!ED, D3AD, G0NE. DO NOT REPOST OR ALTER. OR ELSE THE BATS WILL COME FOR YOU.

[kinopioa]

I dont think we need to take Ken penders words for anything, the man is hated for reasons beyond his bad writing. He threw ofher writers he worked with under the buss all the time. Back in the early 2000s he would get anoyyed if someone complimented another writer besides him. He once said, he did his own thing because 'Sega didn't give him much to work with" and would imply his writing made the Sonic characters deeper then in the games. Jon Gray even stated, fhe entire reason why Ken left because he couldn't do what he wanted since his unused plans would break several rules with Sonic's character, especially regarding Shadow. He's now pretending to still care about Sonic's brand because Sonic fans are the only one giving him any attention nowadays.

He is 100% a grifter, idiot, glory hog, has daddy issues, probably misses the 90s when regulation was lax as fuck

But he is unironically right regarding Flynn's parasocial involvement with the fandom. That's the only thing I care about. Given my own research on Ian, Pender's 100% right. Ian already was doing interviews 4 years before he got on Archie, and then generated more interest with the bumbleking forums, and later paid questionaire podcasts. No other writer is this directly in view of fandom opinions, and as seen in his writing, appeals directly to fan bias pretty often

The entire reason he killed Tommy, treated Cream like shit, and fucked with a stupid 5 year "There's a traitor!" with Silver is directly cuz he was mirrored fandom ire. They hated Tommy being dead weight, they hated Cream for "kiddifying the franchise", they hated Silver for being a naive guy from a bad game

I've also noticed Flynn indirectly thrived on surrounding drama of the greater fandom. 06's reception + Archie writers dropping is the only reason he got hired. Yardley's less shit art is why writing got leeway. The 2013 lawsuit causing the reboot gave him a by for "not using expanded chars" along with getting Archie noticed by the games fandom, and Lost World/Forces failing for reception led to people to look more into spinoffs

I see people randomly gas up Archie Sonic as a powerhouse or peak entirely cuz they see this scene out of context

Even though this literally happens right after. He doesn't even beat him legitimately later, he was beaten cuz suddenly his mech is ineffective to most of the FF and Ray. Fucking Ray

People further cementing "skip to issue 160" and accrediting all good writing to Ian is also grounds for creating another Penders. Sadly I think it worked

So I don't give a shit about Pender's ramblings of his "great writing" given how miniscule his impact is nowadays. The only thing of impact to the games he did was bury the idea of a Chronicles sequel, an already noncanon game. I DO care if someone effectively hired by nepotism still shows his bias and misconception for this franchise. This stance in 2008 I don't think changed given how he's been trying to sneak in Archie refs still

If not Ian, it'd be another "fan" on Twitter doing similar disregard of the games

The term "a broken clock right twice a day" is what I'd say applies to Penders for his notes on Ian. Otherwise, outside Spiderman 4 dev, he is to be ignored mostly

Well that and him dunking Krash, that was just...wow. Rare W

[mars-ipan]

What do you think lesbians are attracted to in women that we can’t be attracted to in men?

It can’t be anything about femininity or masculinity obviously. That’s both sexist, and cultural so can’t be what drives woman-only attraction.

It can’t be anything about stated identity because someone could lie just as easily as they could tell the truth in such a statement, and it makes no sense because homosexuality and heterosexuality exists in other species with no stated identities. It’s not like other animals without gender are all pan.

Saying idk it’s the vibes or some indescribable trait women have that men can’t but “I can’t explain” is a nonanswer.

Soooooooo what is it? Or do you think any sexuality but bi/pan is just cultural performance or an identity rather than an inborn orientation?

? i think it’s all just words, anon. sexuality isn’t real- it’s something humans made up. just like gender. an animal can’t really be “homosexual” because that’s a human concept- just like how your dog doesn’t really care what pronouns you call it- it’s not applicable to anything beyond the human psyche.

and people are messy. so no, there’s no real universal definition of “lesbian.” a lesbian is someone who says they are a lesbian. i trust that person to know who they are and why, and i’m not gonna try to say they aren’t because they don’t fit what i think a lesbian is. not to mention, it’s not really my business.

it’s human nature to try to make sense of things- to put people in boxes, so to speak. but queerness is something so ambiguous and fluid that if you try to force it into a concrete definition, it begins to contradict itself.

i’m assuming you’re coming from a good intention here- it sounds to me like this is something you tend to worry about, and i’m glad you wanted to hear my thoughts.

my aunt, who is nonbinary, is a lesbian. she always has been- i was the flower girl at her wedding. a cis woman who is only attracted to women (self-proclaimed identity) may also choose to call herself a lesbian. both people are correct in their definitions of their identities

a lesbian could be attracted to me, a genderfluid person. i’m male sometimes- that wouldn’t make that person any less of a lesbian.

every label is simply a word a person feels is comfortable to describe themselves. my personal favorite is “queer”- my identity is ambiguous and ever-changing- and, of course, strange. ultimately, this is a question with no real answer. everyone thinks what they think about themselves, but identity is so personal and everyone thinks a little differently. we can’t categorize people- i think we tend to forget that the reason we formed this community is because we didn’t fit the definitions of identity.

ultimately: gender is fake, orientation is by extension fake, life is a ball of play doh and if you really want to you can eat it

[umbersketches]

I always feel so sad when I have to fight one of these guys! They're just so cute - the first time I encountered one I let it go. 😭 Sound off, would y'all keep a warp trotter as a pet if you could? (Because I sure as heck would).

--

check me out elsewhere!

Trello // Linktree // Ko-fi

[runningwithscizzorz]

(1)Learn the rules before you break them + Gather proper references

(2) Understand what you want to break and how

(3) Can't do it? Find someone who can

(4) It's going to look really bad for a while

(5) Have fun with it!

(1) -Yes, I am that kind of artist. Yet, not in the conventional way. I encourage people to go in guns blazing when it comes to drawing something new, then coming out analyzing what they know, and what they need to learn more of right away.

-Here, I broke down the anatomical pieces of Nour and Narinder's face with the same labels so you guys can understand this weird invisible pattern that I follow in my work. Doing this with any animal you're attempting to draw greatly improves your line confidence when drawing different face shapes. Also understanding the biological function for why animals look a certain way helps you keep consistency.

(3) Time to throw any artistic guilt you have for heavily referencing people's art OUT THE WINDOW and start ANALYZING PEOPLE'S WORK YOU WANT TO BE LIKE✨ I've always done this, having a reference of someone else's amazing work right next to my own drawing so I can try and understand how they make their magic work! No shame, no embarrassment, nada. Pure, unadulterated will and spite that I would be just as good as the artist who made me so motivated and happy with their work! I couldn't figure out how to make Nour's face both sheep-like, and humanly expressive, so I looked at a LOT of Zootopia and old Disney art for help!

(2) With how I draw narilamb, I'm still working on it (as you can see) but I wanted to break Narinder's face to be fluffier and slimmer, while Nour's face would be shorter and flatter. If you look at it for too long, it's absolutely going to look weird, in the way that if you look at Anna from Frozen for too long she starts looking really weird. The anatomy isn't meant to be correct or consistent, it's meant to convey the emotion and energy I want out of the characters in that moment. If you're able to properly get that across, then you don't need to think about how broken something looks, as long as your eye is happy enough to trick your brain into thinking what you're seeing is canny.

(4) Yeah, I hate this part too. It's going to look like shit at first. I can't even look at my art from a few months ago when I was figuring out their designs... God, so fucking ugly. If it weren't for the shittiness of those drawings, I would have never gotten here! Wading through the "trust the process" stage always really sucks, but it's absolutely worth the relief of when you finally get something to look right.

(5) Art is work, yes. It's stressful, it's long, it's straining, its draining, it's exclaiming, blah blah blah. But, I try to keep my art FUN. If I find my artwork becoming slow as I depressingly drag my pen over my tablet, I'm failing. You MUST keep spirit and life in your work. The spirit of emptiness or the life of sadness can have a very meaningful place in art, but those can only exist with keeping work light, easy, and fun! If you're stressing how a specific thing looks or how you can't get something to look right no matter what, FUCK IT. Draw something to bring the flavor back in your work! I'm kind of rambling, but just, HAVE FUN!✨️ Be messy, scream, laugh, slash canvases, throw paint, smash sculptures, tear apart books, GO CRAZY

[xxsabitoxx]

Tutoring Session

College Math Tutor Sanemi x Female College Student Reader

Warnings: raw sex, edging, praising, hair pulling, creampies

A/N: hit me like a freight train, I’ve been dying to write this idea for literal months and I just couldn’t figure out who to write it about… obviously Sanemi was the clear choice. I blame @peachdues tbh

WORD COUNT: 2.5k | NOT MY ART!! Credit to the artist!! if anyone knows them please let me know so I can properly credit them!

"There you go, that's right." Sanemi smiled as you solved the equation correctly, watching your hands tremble as you wrote the numbers. "Took you long enough, sweetheart." He added as you whined, the grip he had on your hair was the only thing really keeping your head from falling forward in frustration. "Let's try the next one."

All the while, the dull head of cock was gliding between slick folds. This was his idea of tutoring you, tormenting you with the promise of shoving his cock inside of you, but only after you finished your work. Sanemi had you stuck, literally and figuratively at this point.

Your knees were aching from where they were digging into the hardwood flooring of his apartment, and your body bent over his coffee table with all your math equations spread out before you. Nothing was on either of you from the waist down, Sanemi's knees keeping your legs from squeezing shut in protest."How would you solve this equation, sweetheart. Show me."

You let out a shrill whine as he caught on your entrance for what felt like the thousandth time that evening. You were soaking wet and he hadn't so much as pressed into you. Your hands trembled as you lifted your pencil again, reading over the numbers and letters with blurry vision as you tried to recall the first step.

One squeeze from his hand on your waist and you were focusing again, pushing the pencil to the paper as you wrote out your first line. Sanemi hummed in approval, pumping his cock slowly before sliding his leaking tip between your drenched folds.

If you got this one right, he'd get inside of you, you'd have to work through the rest as his hips slowly rocked in and out of you. It was his favorite part of tutoring you, he could edge you for hours on end but it didn’t compare to the warmth your cunt enveloped him in once he pushed inside. It was addicting, he’d never stop tutoring you just for this reason. 

“You have to carry that one over, remember?” he hummed as he looked over your shoulder, watching your handwriting get increasingly sloppier as you erased your first mistake. Sanemi’s eyes glanced over the other sheets of paper, you had started off so strong, then you could see exactly when he got you into this position, the shakiness of your hand was present. 

“You better hurry, it's getting harder to not push right in.” He grinned, tugging your hair just a little harder as you whimpered. The head of his cock had caught on your entrance again, but this time he kept it in place. He could feel you constricting, clenching around nothing at all and begging to suck him into the wet warmth of your sex. “S-Sanemi… sir please…” 

Your voice came out in a broken hiccup, making his cock twitch in interest as you moved down the line of your equation. “You know the rules, sweetheart. You don’t get my cock until I’m satisfied with the amount of work you successfully completed.” His knees were aching too, but he could withstand it just to see you struggle. Your hair was soft in his grasp, but the mewls you made were even softer when he tugged on the strands. 

You felt tears burning your eyes, frustration towards math mixing with the frustration of not being able to alleviate the ache between your sticky thighs. Within an hour of his tutoring, Sanemi had rendered you to an embarrassing, sticky mess. Your slick was covering his thighs as well as his pubic bone, and of course his cock. “Carry that one.” 

Shakily, you erased, whining as you corrected your mistake. “Don’t move your hips or I’ll return to grinding my cock against you.” You stilled, you hadn’t even realized you were trying to force your hips back on his length. “I’m…mmm I’m s-sorry sir.” You hiccupped, you could feel your heartbeat in your clit at this point, and it was driving you insane.  “Don’t apologize, solve the problem.” 

You focused to the best of your abilities again, tears leaking down your cheeks and spotting the paper below you as the pressure built. Between the ache between your legs and the pressure of his dull cock head pressing into your awaiting entrance, you were certain you would crack under his gaze. You could feel it burning just over your shoulder, certain it was accompanied by rosy cheeks and fucked out eyes, making even swollen lips from where he chewed them. 

Your entire body jerked forward, head nearly falling forward along with it before Sanemi tugged again. “Keep your mind out of the gutter, sweetheart.” Your face was burning, he was one to talk considering the position he had you in right now.

“You are two lines away from getting my cock shoved in you, I’d smarten up and focus.” Your heart lurched, the promise in his tone was undeniable. Solve this equation and you’d get what you wanted. 

You scribbled the next line, earning a hum of approval from Sanemi as you moved to piece everything together and solve the equation. You waited with bated breath, looking everything over to confirm you were correct before shakily writing your answer.

After a beat of silence, Sanemi thrusted his hips forward, plunging his cock deep into your cunt. A loud cry of his name left your lips followed by a string of curses. The sting of being stretched so suddenly had you shivering, your pencil dropping from your hand as you tried to ground yourself. 

“Atta girl, you take me so–ha–so good.” Your cunt was fluttering around him, your hips trying to pull away just enough to ease the pressure on your cervix. The room was filled with your breathing before Sanemi finally panted “next”. You wanted to cry, frustrated and in need of relief and yet you were being forced to start your next round equations. “S-sanemi please…” 

“You heard me, sweetheart. Start the next problem.” He had regained a little bit of composure, pressing his hips flush against your own as he maneuvered his body lower. You could feel the heat radiating off of him as his front met your back, and yet again you were trying to run away from the one thing you had been begging for. “Turn the page over, we have four more to do.” His breath was hot against your ear, causing your body to involuntary shudder in response. 

You did as you were told, inhaling deeply as he returned to his original position. Once the paper was flipped and your pencil was back in your hand, Sanemi let go of the grip he had on your hair so both hands could hold your waist. He didn’t care if you struggled now, if anything he wanted to see you visibly falling apart.

You started slowly, moaning softly as Sanemi pulled out half way before slamming into you again. This paper would be a damn mess by the time you were done. That was Sanemi’s intention, after all, he liked to keep your ruined sheets of math as a reward once he was done. Your body shook with the force of his hips slamming into your own, the pencil dragging across the paper in sloppy mess as you began solving the next equation. 

“Oh fuck… fuck… fuck fuck…” You cried, pencil nearly ripping the paper as Sanemi’s hips rolled perfectly into you. The bulbous head of his cock grazed that one particular spot perfectly, making your back arch in response to the sensation. “Focus.” But his tone was hoarse, weak even as your slick arousal began to collect around the base of his cock. It's not like he could even focus on the math, eyes zeroing in on where your cunt sucked him in. 

“Solve this one right and I’ll fill you up, you’d love that wouldn’t ya?” You nodded, blabbering out a yes as your hand shakily wrote two more numbers in the first line of the problem. You weren’t going to get that far, but you’d damn near try your hardest. Sanemi’s hips were picking up their pace, falling into a brutal rhythm that was making it hard for you to properly see the numbers on your paper. The coffee table was creaking in protest with each snap of his hips. 

It was dizzying, feeling him split you open over and over as your velvety walls tried to clamp down and slow his speed. You were soaking wet, a warm gush of your arousal causing slick squelching noises to fill the small living room. “Finish the first line, sweetheart.” He could feel the sweat beading down his temple, as much as he loved to tease you, your cunt was almost too overwhelming for him.

He could fight off his inevitable release for a little while, but at the pace in which you were writing the problem out, he was certain he’d lose the battle. You were shaking as you finished the first line, eyes blurry as you tried to move the equation through your mind. You were too far gone already, cheeks burning hot as drool slipped past your parted lips. You could feel the embarrassment pushing you down, head falling forward now that Sanemi didn’t have a fistful of your hair to keep you upright. 

“C’mon, Sweet–ha–heart fucking finish the problem.'' The last half came out in a low and desperate tone, you could feel Sanemi’s cock twitching violently as it embedded itself in your velvety heat. “I-I’m trying…” you pleaded softly, tears flowing freely as you lifted your head. “I.. you’re too rough… oh fuck sir, don't stop.” you mewled, back arching as your hips shot back to meet his thrusts. Sanemi couldn’t say no to that, not when you were suffocating him. 

“Finish.” he restated, nails digging into the plush skin of your hips as his brows creased. He would have to pound some fucking sense into you… or maybe himself. Your pencil was scraping against the paper again as you worked through the equation, at this point Sanemi didn’t even care if you fucked it up and got the answer wrong, he just wanted to see a final result. 

Though, that suddenly wasn’t enough for him anymore.

A spike of arousal had one hand leaving your hips just to sneak around your front and find your clit. A sharp gasp tore from your mouth as white hot pleasure blurred your vision once more. Your neglected clit was far too sensitive for the immediate fast and rough circles Sanemi’s fingers were giving you. That and the fact that his hands were calloused, rougher than your own and creating more friction than you ever could.

“Oh fuck… I’m gonna…” you choked on your own words, the pencil led snapping as the heat in your abdomen grew hotter. Your release was sneaking up on you thanks to the addition of his fingers. “You’re already gonna cum?” Sanemi’s tone was mocking, as if his own cock wasn’t swelling with his own impending release. You let out a garbled response that sounded somewhat similar to a “yes”, no longer able to write now that your pencil had broken. 

Sanemi noticed, of course, his ego inflating like a balloon as he looked at the ruined paper and the ruined pencil. “You’re lucky that didn’t…” he inhaled, jaw clenching as he tried to stave off his release for a little longer. “You’re lucky you didn’t snap the whole pencil.” You just shook your head, cheek turning to press against the paper covered table. Your hands twitched as they found the edge, grabbing on tightly to try and ground yourself once more. 

“Don’t hold out on me, sweetheart… you’ll still get my cum for trying.” A loud whimper followed his promise, no longer able to control the noises you made as Sanemi’s hips continued to piston into your sopping cunt. It hit you then, your orgasm just barely teetering over the edge as you babbled out a jumble of curses and pleas to stop. Not that you actually wanted him too, Sanemi had learned that your cries only meant you were getting overwhelmed in the best way possible. 

“Come for me, sweetheart. Ruin me.” 

You could feel the cord snap, your orgasm washing over you as his hips and fingers never faltered. You were positive you moaned his name a little louder than you wanted to, unable to help it as your ears rang from the intensity. Sanemi’s teeth sunk into his lower lip hard enough to nearly draw blood. Your cunt was quivering around him, suffocatingly tight as a warm gush of your arousal dripped down your thighs. The sight was unbearably hot, and just enough to push him over the edge with you. 

You shivered as he came, spraying your walls with his sticky release. “Oh fuck.” It was just barely audible over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. Sanemi was tense, too tense to acknowledge the marks he was leaving on your hips as his nails dug into your skin. It wasn’t until his hips came to a stuttering halt, burying deep inside your cunt that he was able to suck air into his lungs again and loosen his grip. “Y-you okay?” 

You hummed, too tired to lift yourself off of the table. “Words, sweetheart.” Sanemi was never content with your little noises after the fact. He needed the verbal affirmation that you were okay and he wasn’t too rough. “...’m good.” You heard him exhale through his nose, something similar to a humorless laugh. “C’mon, let me clean you up.” the feeling of his softening cock slipping out of you made you both shiver, his sticky release following. 

He watched your hips squirm, you were never fond of the feeling. “Sorry, sweetheart.” but again, you mumbled out an “...’s okay”. He had worn you out, there was no way he would be able to finish your lesson tonight. “How about a shower instead of a rag?” His fingers were running along your slick thighs as he spoke, carefully dragging your mixing arousal back up to your entrance and using two fingers to shove it back inside.

“You’ll have tah carry me.” you mumbled, pushing yourself up halfheartedly, your cheeks stained with drying tears. “Fine by me, it’s the least I can do.” Sanemi smiled, carefully moving to pull you into a sitting position and get your weight off of your bruising knees. “You wouldn’t mind if I stayed the night, would ya?” You nearly collapsed into him, turning weakly into his embrace so he could get you both off the ground. 

“You’re always welcome, Sanemi. I still have some of your clothes in my dresser.” He chuckled at that, hauling you up bridal style as he made his way towards your bathroom “I might as well move in at this point, hmm?” this time you were the one starting to laugh. “You practically live here already, Sanemi. Why don’t we make it official?” If he knew it would have been that easy, he would have made the comment weeks ago. “I’d like that.” 

[yawnderu]

Simon ''Ghost'' Riley — Masterlist 💀🖤

cr: @ave661

Simon Riley Moodboard | Smut Masterlist | Bimbo!Reader Masterlist | Dad!Ghost Masterlist

This Masterlist only has the material I've created in 2024. To explore older works, you can check my Main Masterlist, or use the tags #Simon Riley x Fem!Reader or #Ghost mw2 on my profile to access all my works!

Do not translate, post, or put my content into AI tools.

Ongoing Series Lorelei

Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.

K-9

Simon Riley and his pathetic efforts to get close to the new medic will earn him a scar or two

or

Simon Riley is in love with an uninterested, tired medic.

Angel

Synopsis: Afraid of giving you the same destiny all his loved ones met, an emotionally unavailable Simon does his best to pretend being in love with you for one night, later deciding to introduce you to the one person who can give you the love you want; John Price.

Smut

Silly love-making

Simon's obsession with pornstar!reader

Sex on camera

No man could act this good

Using his naked body for art purposes

Love-making

FWB!Simon cucking your hookup

Tattoo Artist!Simon

Prettiest girl in Edinburgh

Hybrid cat!Reader tag teamed by Simon and Johnny

Soul-crushing devotion and medical emergencies

AI!Reader gets a physical body

Neet!Reader jerks him off

Hybrid wolf!Simon x Catgirl!Reader

Sleep-walking, but fucking instead

Simon becomes vocal when you give him blowjobs

Rimming him

Monster fucker

Dick headcanons

Catgirl in heat

Drabbles

Gym bros Johnny and Simon

Creature!Reader

Tag team 🌶️

Simon Riley is a stray, roughed up cat

Seduction goes against the rules

Nymphomaniac!Reader

Immortal!Reader

The phrase ''the wife'' is always in Simon's mouth

Choking🌶️

Cock warming🌶️

Lipstick marks on his cock

Neet!Reader sniffing his armpits

Milf!Reader drives Simon insane🌶️

Military high ranked!Reader

What turns him off

I have no faith, but I believe in you

You and your daughter love his tattooed arm

Simon is a furnace

Creature!Reader cuddles

Asking for sex after he had a bad day

Cumming too early🌶️

Wearing a white wife beater

Girl dad

Raccoon

Simon makes weird faces under the mask

Juiciest ass in the Task Force

Bulking

Dating a MILF

Naked cuddles

Relationship similar to Batman and Catwoman

Work Song

Cumming on your glasses🌶️

Touch starvation

Fluff & Hurt/Comfort

Expensive presents

Displays of trust

The most broken man turns to religion when you're hurt

A man without big pecs is like an angel without wings

Simon Riley was made for soul-crushing devotion

Broken man in love

Cuddles after a bad day

Simon is a giant black cat

Ai!Assistant Reader

Ai!Assistant Reader bothering Simon

Second chance at being an uncle to your niece

''I'll be the weapon when he needs protection''

Moody catgirl

Red panda hybrid!Reader

Hiccups during sex🌶️

First relationship

Angst

Emotionally unavailable

Immortal!Reader doesn't come back to life

Angel - Part I | Part II

[juneofdoom]

What up, whump fam?!

June of Doom 2024 Prompts!

We've brought back some old favorites/ popular prompts from last year with a healthy dash of new!

Please feel free to participate with original or fan works of any kind (writing, photos, gifs, mood boards, videos, songs, whatever creative medium your heart desires!). You can do one or all of the prompts on any given day, and if none are to your liking, check out the alternate prompts!

Two rules this year!

As with last year, tag your stuff with appropriate warnings, plzkthnx.

AI-created content is highly discouraged and frowned upon. I have no way of "checking", but I respect the time and effort people put into their crafts and encourage everyone to do the same. This isn't a contest for best written or prettiest art — it's a challenge, so challenge yourself.

[AO3 Collection] - "JUNEOFDOOM2024"

Text list below the cut for easier crossings-off. And don't forget to tag @juneofdoom so I can reblog your awesome here! Have fun!

“Help me.”                                        | Failed Escape | On the Run | Fetal Position |

“It didn’t have to be this way.”             | Scream | Double Cross | Made to Watch |

“Well, well, well…”                            | Hiding | Ambushed | Stalking |

“Does that hurt?”                               | Impalement | Fracture | Punishment |

“It’s not as bad as it looks.”                 | Bite | Swelling | Disfiguration |

“They don’t care about you.”               | Flinch | Broken Promise | Abandoned |

“What happened?”                            | Nightmare | Isolation | Stumbling |

“This is your last chance.”                    | Drowning | Chair | Prisoner Trade |

“I made a mistake.”                            | Accident | Acceptance | Blame |

“Can you hear me?”                           | Fear | Smoke | Phone Call |

“We’re out of time.”                           | Bleeding Out | Collapse | Flatline |

“I can’t stand seeing you like this.”        | Dehydration | Grief | Coma |

“Wait!”                                             | Sacrifice | Adrenaline | Cornered |

“What were you thinking?”                  | Surrender | Human Shield | Outmatched |

“Get me out of here!”                         | Rescue | Chainsaw | Presumed Dead |

“At least it can’t get any worse.”           | Secret | Stranded | Setback |

“You don’t want to do that.”                | Struggle | Blackmail | Desperate Measures |

“I’m fine.”                                         | Self-defense | Allergies | Headache |

“This can’t be happening!”                  | Sobbing | Straitjacket | Dissociation |

“I can handle it.”                                | Scrape | Panic Attack | Neglect |

“Let’s play a game. “                           | Stairs | Pressure Points | Trap Door |

“What’s the bad news?”                      | Poison | Bedridden | Cauterization |

“You’re doing great.”                         | Trembling | Gaslighting | Rules |

“Let’s get you cleaned up.”                  | Blankets | Stitches | Bandages |

“I should have listened to you.”           | Guilt | Backseat | Failure |

“Don’t lie to me.”                               | Rage | Choke | Paranoia |

“Or what?”                                       | Defiance | Display | Last Resort |

“Say something.”                               | Numb | Cold Shoulder | Gag |

“I’m so cold.”                                    | Delirium | Fever | Exposure |

“Breathe, damn you!”                         | Shock | Asphyxiation | Emergency Room |

ALTERNATE PROMPTS

“Who did this to you?”

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’m not okay.”

“Don’t make me say it again.”

“You poor thing.”

Attending Your Own Funeral

Broken Glass

Mask

Whip

Obedience

[anonymityisfunwriter]

"Slut!"

Pairing - Steve Rogers x Stark!Reader Summary - It was perfect. Lovelorn and nobody knows. Love thorns all over this rose. You almost forgot just how hard the fall back to reality is. But if they call you a slut, it might be worth it for once.

Steve Rogers Masterlist | Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist

"She goes through guys like a train-"

You immediately change the channel. The next one isn't better. You don't know why you thought it would be.

"The Stark last name and the long list of ex-lovers, that's her claim to fame. I mean, let's be honest here, she's a slu-" The tabloid reporter is abruptly cut off as the screen before you goes dark.

You look up to find Steve with the remote in his hand. He glares at the screen like the reporter was still talking, "You shouldn't be watching that."

"I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't be. It's despicable. They were - the things they're calling you-"

"A slut," you finish for him.

His eyes dart to you, that furrow between his eyebrows getting deeper and deeper with every word spoken, "It's not true. This isn't journalism, it's slander."

You weren't sure how this happened. Sure, it was only a matter of time before they found you out. This wasn't the first time. Not the second or the third either. If the press was to be believed, you were love sick. Love struck with a new man every week.

It wasn't the first time someone called you a slut. It certainly wouldn't be the last.

You stopped living your life in fear of what people would say a long time ago. Being this young was an art. And up until now, you thought you mastered it.

It was simple. You even had your rules. You followed them and no one got hurt - or at the very least, it minimized the damage.

They were going to stare at you. Strangers. Press. The flashing cameras. It came with being a Stark. If they're going to look, you gave them something to look at. You didn't so much as step out on the street with a single hair out of place. You were flawless. Always.

You were nineteen, and on the heels of a breakup with your second ever boyfriend, the first time someone spit that word at you - "slut!" It hurt, but it didn't hurt as much as you thought it would. It almost made you laugh. You realized that they didn't really care about your love life or about the trail of broken hearts you were supposedly leaving behind. They wanted a spectacle. They wanted a show. If you're going to be drunk, might as well be drunk in love.

It was easier after that. You knew the truth. The people around you knew the truth. You let everyone else believe what they wanted. You did what you wanted. You lived your life without worrying about being called a slut. They were going to call you one anyway. And if they call you a slut, you might as well make it worth it.

You gave just enough to keep them satisfied. Never anything too real. Never too much. Just enough that they wouldn't dare peak behind closed doors. Just enough to be able to live your life.

There were was a cost, of course. No one took you seriously. You dealt with the vague humiliation of the rumors constantly swirling about your hips and thighs and whispered sighs.

And though you inherited the Stark genius, no one cared about what you thought, what you had to say.

In that, the reporter was right, your love life was far more interesting than your thoughts on quantum mechanics or the military industrial complex. That was what you were known for.

For the most part, you were okay with it. You were willing to pay it all.

That was until you fell in love with Steve Rogers. Suddenly, you weren't willing to give them crumbs. You weren't willing to expose a love that felt this delicate.

You sit on the couch, huddled in your sweatpants, pensively staring at the blank screen.

This time, it was different. This wasn't a show, not a spectacle. It was real, an exposed nerve that the world decided was fair game. You were fair game and it was open season.

Steve settles beside you, draping an arm around your midsection. He kisses your temple, "Tony thinks it's probably best that you lay low for a while."

"Yes, well, my brother is the expert on PR damage control."

It wasn't the same though. You both knew it. Tony had done far worse with far more women. Yet, he would never pay the price you were paying in this very moment.

Steve's arms tighten around you like he's shielding you from the storm, "It's not right. It's not fair that you're being forced to sequester yourself. You're being punished but what exactly was your crime?"

"I fell in love with Steve Rogers, that was my crime." You fell for the man everyone wanted, the man who was in the wrong place at the right time.

"I'm sorry," he whispers against the crown of your head.

"For what?"

"You warned me this would happen."

It was true. You told him exactly what would happen, but even you didn't anticipate exactly how bad things would get.

You'd been with Steve for just under a year. And up until a week ago, only a select few knew. You both agreed to keep it a secret from the public. You felt protective over the love you shared, it was more real than anything else you'd ever had. You wanted to keep it to yourself, out of the hands of people that would tear you both to shreds without a second thought.

Steve felt the same. Though he was more worried about the enemies he made over the years.

It made sense to protect the relationship, to protect yourselves until you were both ready. You wanted to protect him from what you knew was lurking around the corner. Steve was still so new to the 21st century. Dating in the public eye wasn't easy. Dating a Stark wasn't easy. For almost an entire year, you used every publicity trick in the book - and it worked.

But then, you heard it, the whispers, rumors bubbled about your newest future ex-lover.

You only agreed to going public because everyone told you it was time, because they promised that the timing couldn't have worked out better than this. It was better to do this on your own terms than have it leaked.

No one knew how bad it would get.

"Are you sure? There's no going back after this," you whisper, standing in the hallway of your apartment. You could practically hear the cameras flashing outside your apartment. You'd never been this nervous to leave your apartment before. You'd been through the plan a million times. You'd be exposed to the cameras for a matter of seconds. Happy was already waiting with the door to your SUV open, ready for you to jump in. You'd walk outside holding Steve's hand - a sort of silent announcement to the world. "It won't be easy."

"I don't care," Steve promises, kissing the palm of your hand. "I'm tired of hiding. I'm proud to call you mine."

You tenderly stroke his cheek, "And if it blows up in your pretty face?"

He smiles down at you, "You're worth it."

"We'll pay the price, I guess." But deep down, you know. You'll pay the price, he won't.

The cameras had never been that loud before. Even though your announcement went off without a hitch, even though your publicist couldn't have been more pleased, not even they could have predicted how bad things would get.

It seemed like the whole world was calling you that four letter word.

At first, it was mostly online. People were mean, you knew that. You were prepared for nasty comments. Steve's most staunch supporters thought he could do better. People rejoiced in the spectacle your love life turned into. You were a laughing stock all over again. All that you were prepared for. Then some rabid fans leaked your phone number.

You decided that it would be a good time to disconnect anyway.

But it didn't end there. Not even close.

The day after you were expected to make an appearance for a charity you founded. It was just a quick 2 minute speech. And though the event had been throughly vetted, you'd never forget the way your blood ran cold when mid-sentence someone screamed that four letter word over and over again until security dragged them out. You continued until your speech was done, but there was no hiding the way your hands trembled.

From what you heard, the video was still making its rounds online.

You were expected to make an appearance two days after that. An event honoring your father. An event you poured your blood, sweat, and tears into to make sure it was impeccable, an event worthy of honoring your father. The same event you were practically uninvited from.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's just me. I come in peace," Tony jokes.

"I'm glad," you sigh. "I was worried I was going to have to get another number."

Tony sighs into the phone, "How are you holding up?"

"I've been better."

"I'm afraid I don't come bearing good news."

"What now, Tony?"

"That event you had Friday night, the one for dad?"

You pinch the bridge of your nose. You already knew were this was going. "What about it?"

"They want me to take over for you."

You bitterly scoff, "This week just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"

"You say the word and I'll tell them to fuck off."

"No, don't do that. It's for dad."

"You planned this whole thing single-handedly. You deserve to be the one up there." You don't say a word. He's right, you both know it. It doesn't change the situation you've been put in. "You are still going, right? Come on, you have to go."

"They broke into my house, Tony."

"What? Are you okay?"

"Happy just told me," you explain, sparing Tony the most gory details. "The one in L.A. Apparently, it is now covered in spray paint. You wanna guess what they wrote?"

"Where was your security?" Tony demands.

"Here. Trying to keep people off my sidewalk."

"I'm so sorry."

"I just - I don't think it's a good idea. At least until I get more security."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm glad you've got Steve there. At least I know he'll keep you safe."

You almost smile. Tony was never his biggest fan, but you mostly credit that to him being an overprotective big brother. And the situation you'd found yourself in did nothing to win Tony's over good graces, "It's not his fault, Tony."

"It kinda is, but I digress. Listen, we'll figure this out, alright? I'll go streak in front of the Tower if that'll take some heat off of you."

And though you effectively doubled your security in the last two days, nothing would change anyone's mind about you. You were the villain tainting their hero.

You broke down after that call, violently sobbing against Steve's shoulder. He just pulled you in even tighter.

It reminds you of why you're doing all this. So you can be together, out in the open. That in a world of boys, he's a gentleman.

You squeeze his hand, "You're worth it."

"I'm not worth having your reputation torn to shreds."

And maybe they're right about you. Maybe you do get love struck. Maybe his eyes are like the world's strongest liquor, and it went straight to your head. Maybe you do get love sick. Sure, your life has momentarily fallen apart. It's magic, madness, heaven, and sin, all rolled into one. But if they're going to call you a slut, it might be worth it for once. "But what if all I need is you?"

Steve Rogers Masterlist AnonymityIsFun Masterlist Inspired By Taylor Swift Masterlist

As always, let me know what you think! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated! 💛

Taglist: @marianita195 @meli18gonzalez @ludicbouquetfromearth @matchat3a @famousbreadcherryblossomsstuff @valoraxx @blue786sworld @buckyandgeraltsupremacy @geminigengar @ansaturn @ecolle @lexhalstead3 @ybflkmj @mediocre-daydreams @shanye1112 @thegirlnextdoorssister @toomanyfanficsbruh @moonlightreader649 @breathtaking-cynthia @mirikusashes @beans-and-toast @niyahcoca @katiechikin @elxvrr @antiheroxsblog @infamouslyclumsy @krissydclayton93 @buckysbarne @deadheadwbedhead @qualitygiantshoepsychic @whitexwolfxx310 @getosprettyboy @matchat3a

[theolivetree123]

Rev up your engines, it’s time to…

🏁 Race for the Cookie Cup! 🏁

(More below the cut)

🫐Event Summary🍒

You, Grim, Ace, and Deuce decide to visit a new arcade that recently opened up in the town not far from NRC. There, you meet up with Ruggie, Epel, Silver, and Idia, who have all taken interest in a specific game in the corner of the arcade. The game is called Sugar Rush! Since there's two arcade machines, Ace challenges Deuce to one round of the game, and whoever loses must pay for the other's lunch. Deuce unsurprisingly accepts, and they begin their match. Midway through their match, however, the game suddenly glitches! You and the gang all think the game is broken until a flash of light comes from the arcade machines. Next thing you know, all 8 of you are somehow inside of the racing game, Sugar Rush!

To escape this sweet nightmare, you must win the next grand prix and obtain the Cookie Cup! But, uh oh. Ace and Deuce are having a bit of a squabble. It seems like you guys are going to have to split into two separate teams!

For this grand prix, Deuce will be accompanied by Silver and Idia as...

Team Bluepuff!

And Ace will be accompanied by Ruggie and Epel as...

Team Redpop!

Which team will you choose?

🏁Rules🏁

Everyone is allowed to race! Whether it's your OCs, yuusonas, or, heck, even rope your favorite canon NRC/RSA student into this mess! Everyone is welcome to participate in the mess that Ace and Deuce started.

You can participate in this event by making custom cards, general fanart, fanfics, whatever! Just no NSFW, please. This is a PG racing game!

If you decide to make anything for this event, please tag me and use #🍪rftcc. I'd love to see what you make!

And finally, this event has no deadline, so feel free to participate whenever!

🏁Outfits and Carts🏁

Since you will be racing, make sure your outfit is fit for the job! Make sure your character has a jersey, gloves, and a sweet theme!

For your character's theme, make sure it is based off of some sort of candy or sweet treat! The character must also have a matching cart, as well (if you're drawing them with one, that is). Try to stay away from actual candy brands, though! We wouldn't want a lawsuit on our hands!

The characters listed in the summary have their own cards and outfits! I listed them below so you don't accidentally copy their theme.

SSR Deuce (Blueberry Pie)

SSR Ace (Cherry Pie)

SR Ruggie and Epel (Donuts and bubblegum)

SR/R Idia and Silver (Slushies and marshmallows)

Also! If you're making a card, you may use the blank cards below!

🏁Racers🏁

Team Bluepuff

🍋Yuya Florence by @cheerleaderman

🍪Dias Feathenfool by @beezonia

🍓Robyn Starling by @pinkskytwst

💝Reese Kingbit by @kickasscentral

Team Redpop

💍Ryuuni by @rini-rambles

🎂Narcissa Viperoné by @beezonia

🍍Saya Starling (ART) by @pinkskytwst made by @dilatory-replies

🧸Cerise Fanfare by @0kiwisalad0

🎄Humm by @xxoomiii

⚫️ Leon Lynch by @readsrandomstuff67

🏁Fanart🏁

A little comic from @mello-bee

Art of the crew by @spade-12

Ruggie doing donuts by @mirioho

Ruggie fanart by @cheshanoneko-draws

🏁Fanfics🏁

Bet on the Teleportation by @spadecentral

🏁I look forward to seeing what you create!🏁

[foervraengd]

Mirre’s “How i render gemstones” tutorial!

(note: image above is not what is shown in the walkthrough. It is an example piece)

Ingredients:

Art program that has layers and selection tools

Patience (hubris or stubbornness is fine too)

(recommended) photo references of gemstones and/or prisms

(Optional but very helpful) Knowledge on how to use Reference layers and anti-overflow in Clip studio Paint

For this tutorial i am going to use clip studio’s “anti-overflow” feature. This post is not going to explain how to use that specific setting but you should be able to find guides on how to use it on clip studio’s official website or on youtube.

Please Note: The result of this technique will not 100% represent real life gemstones. These are more simplified but should still make an impression of the brilliance and appeal of gems, crystals and diamonds.

If you don’t work in CSP: the best workaround is to use the polygonal lasso selection tool for the same purpose.

This ended up being a long post so I am putting it under the readmore:

First off; Basic idea on how the light refracts inside a solid transparent object:

Wether it is acrylic, glass, water or crystal, the way light pass through more or less should behave the same as long as it is solid and not hollow inside. Pay attention to how the darkest parts of the stone goes along the inner edges, leaving a ”mid tone” sort of in the center. However, this might vary depending on the light setting. But it is a generally good rule-of-thumb to follow if you’re drawing something not based on a photo. Another thing to pay attention to here is how the placement of the highlight will lit up the inside of the gem in a parallel line. It also shows through on the cast shadow.

Light refraction on a cube:

I have already made two posts on this, so definitely go through them:

CUBE BREAKDOWN POST HERE

But a rough summary from those two links would be: Every side/facet of a gem or a cube etc refracts the light individually and not as one entity (that would make it look hollow and not solid). Think of it like how each piece in a broken mirror individually reflect your face back to you. Like a weird patchwork!

Putting this into practice:

For this tutorial I’m going to be nice to myself and not try to draw perfectly accurate gemstones. Instead I’m gonna draw them with a more ”natural” looking set of facets. Which actually isnt as common in real world as video games makes us think. Some crystals have geometric shapes naturally, but a lot of other stones are not as fancy. Anyway, im taking artistic liberty on these example stones because the technique I’m going to use will work for these just fine.

So, in clip studio paint, I first draw the stones on a vector layer. I give them facets for the front side. Then I duplicate the layer, remove the front facets and replace them with the facets on the back of the stone. The third image here shows both layers visible on top of each other. I now put these into a layer folder and mark the folder as ”reference”.

Now, on a layer below the lineart folder, fill with your base tone. Then make a layer on top (if you can clip it to the base tone, do that), this layer is where you decide where the highlight will be placed. In some cases the highlight is only lighting up one single facet - it really depends on the design of the stone. You can also blend and soften the highlight here if it looks good for you, just make sure not every facet is highlighted. The highlight layer should be on top of all the other layers clipped to the base tone layer.

Now it is time for the juicy juicy stuff! Turn on both lineart layers so they’re both visible. I hid the hilight layer here because it was in the way, but might not be needed in your case. Make a layer clipped to the base tone and paint in the darkest tone. This is where anti-overflow helps me out, because when i run my brush over all these crossed lines it will make the stroke pop in and out for each facet. If you dont use CSP, this is where you can use the lasso tool and select every second facet. It will take a bit more time but it should work similarly.

After the darkest tones I then make a layer for the inside light that the highlight has lit up. Here i keep it inside the darkest tone but this might vary depending on the light setting. If it looks good to me, then that’s what i stick to.

The way I approach rendering the facets here is like the grid in the example images above, every shade and tone appear more or less in each facet but the amount is relative to their position. So a gradient wouldnt have a smooth transition; it would be slightly scewed in each square on this example grid. Essentially like how some bathroom window glass panes look like.

Now it’s time to hide the lineart layer folder and check if the gemstones look decent to you. If not, then you can look up some reference photos and analyze where the values group together the most; be careful not to focus too much on the photos 500 million sparkles. Squint your eyes or blur the reference and try to see how the overall values behae.

I, personally, am satisfied with these rocks so I slap on a gradient map (you can manually color in them too if that’s your thing) and call it a day. The lit up inside of a gemstone tend to have a brighter and more saturated color than the mid tone.

Other Examples with this technique:

If you look up ”gemstone types” you can often find images displaying various facet types from more than just front view. These can serve as useful base templates for practicing this rendering technique. The backside of a gemstone is called the “pavillion” and is really useful to have at hand when it comes to painting the inner refractions. You can probably also use 3D models and convert the wireframe into lineart. But that is slightly out of my pool of knowledge.

Applying this knowledge without using a base lineart layer is of course possible. In this painting I followed a simplified summary of how the facets sparkle: Keep the highlight shape to match the front facet design, and all the inner refractions should be more scattered and split up but face a direction towards the center of the gem. Now don’t you think this sort of makes the gems look like eyes? That’s right! You can, and absolutely should, apply this on eyes to create the most sparkly anime eyes ever.

Now, refracted light that lands on the surface surrounding gemstones varies depending on the material - and if the gem is inside a metal frame it usually doesnt create this much refraction around it. But I want to have fun so i decided to break this rule in the name of pretty sparkles. :)

[perfectsunlight]

I BET YOU THINK ABOUT ME - JISOO

kim jisoo x reader

word count: 3.5k

warnings: implied age-gap, class disparities, isolation, belittling, emotional manipulation, mentioned breakup.

synopsis: despite being broken up, you bet your wealthy ex-girlfriend still thinks about you.

there were many things you enjoyed about dating kim jisoo. the way her laughter could light up a room, soft but knowing, like she was in on a joke no one else understood. how her touch was always delicate—calculated, even—as if everything she laid her hands on was an extension of the control she had over the world around her.

but her wealth and status? no, those were never the reasons you stayed.

even now, walking down the narrow, cobblestone streets where red and gold leaves scattered beneath your feet, you couldn’t help but be swallowed by memories of her. the crisp autumn air bit at your skin, a sharp reminder of the past, tugging at your thoughts like the wind tugged at your coat. it was in this season that jisoo had always seemed to glow brightest. her beauty matched the fall—effortless, rich, like a vintage painting come to life. she was untouchable.

however, she was just as cruel.

you just didn’t realize it at the time. how her perfectly manicured fingers—always cold to the touch, always adorned with rings that shimmered in the dying autumn light—had dug deep, not into your skin, but into your spirit. each time she mentioned your "quaint" lifestyle, your "charming" lack of understanding about the finer things in life, it had been wrapped in a velvet glove of affection, so you hardly noticed the sting at first.

it had felt like walking through the falling leaves, admiring the beauty, unaware that winter was creeping closer, ready to strip everything bare.

she had always made sure you knew she was from another world—one where silk sheets were the norm, where every meal came with a waitstaff and a glass of wine you could hardly pronounce. her apartment had been like a showroom, sterile and pristine, with floor-to-ceiling windows that stretched out over the city like a kingdom she ruled from above. and you, standing in the middle of it all, had felt small.

but now, in the aftermath, you could see how she had looked at you, like a pet project. an amusing distraction.

you remember the last dinner you shared at some restaurant you couldn’t pronounce, where the chandeliers above flickered against the dim light and the leaves outside the window swirled like some gilded snowstorm. she had ordered for you without asking, her voice as smooth and cool as the autumn breeze that crept into the cracks of your jacket.

"it’s adorable," she had said, waving her hand dismissively at your confusion when the plates arrived, "how little you know about this. really. it’s sweet."

at the time, you’d laughed it off, sipping the wine that burned your throat more than it soothed. but now you realize how sharp her words had been, each one a blade wrapped in silk.

the holiday parties were even worse.

you’d always felt out of place, like an actor in the wrong movie, wandering through rooms filled with people who looked like they belonged in some old-world painting. there were always murmurs of stocks and art auctions, people in tailored suits that hung off them like armor. you, in your off-the-rack blazer, had felt like an imposter. but jisoo, with her arm linked loosely through yours, had moved through the crowd effortlessly, her smile cold and practiced, like she knew every secret and every face in the room.

the air inside was thick with perfume and candlelight, but it never warmed you. outside, through the towering windows of the penthouse venues, you could always catch glimpses of the world you belonged to—the same city, but miles away, where people didn’t wear silk scarves that cost more than your rent or talk about vacation homes in hushed, reverent tones. the autumn leaves that still clung to the trees seemed desperate, the last few hanging on in the icy wind. much like you had been, clinging to jisoo’s side, pretending not to notice the subtle, cutting remarks she’d make about your clothes, your taste in music, your background.

"you know," she’d say in that breathy, disinterested tone of hers, eyes scanning the room like a queen surveying her subjects, "maybe next time you could wear something… a little more appropriate for the occasion?"

the words had stung, but you’d smiled, nodding like you hadn’t just been dressed down in front of people who already looked at you like you were her charity case. you’d downed your drink, hoping the burn of it would distract from the ache in your chest, while jisoo had already moved on, laughing airily at some joke from a man whose name you couldn’t remember, but whose disdainful eyes stayed with you long after the night was over.

at those parties, she’d always introduce you the same way: “this is y/n.”

nothing more, nothing less. like you were just another accessory—another piece of her perfectly arranged life. your name alone always hung in the air, stiff and formal, with no affection behind it. 

it was a title, not a connection.

but the way she spoke about herself was different. she was kim jisoo, daughter of one of the wealthiest families in seoul, a woman who everyone admired but no one truly knew. she never missed a chance to remind people of her lineage, of her success, of the places she’d been that you could only dream of. you’d stand there, smiling politely, the outsider in your own relationship, as she charmed the room with stories of her luxury trips to europe or some exclusive party she’d attended.

you used to tell yourself that maybe this was just her world—one you didn’t quite understand but could learn to navigate. after all, you thought, love was supposed to be about growing, about adapting to each other. but now, looking back, you see it differently. you hadn’t been adapting. you had been erasing yourself.

you remember the first time you’d seen her living room—everything about it had been a display of understated opulence. the couch, soft and inviting, had been custom-made in italy, a piece of furniture that cost more than you’d make in a year. the kind of thing you wouldn’t even dare to sit on without an invitation.

she’d caught you staring at it once, your fingers brushing lightly over the velvety surface, as if afraid you’d leave some permanent mark on it.

“do you like it?” she’d asked, her tone casual, almost playful, as she kicked off her shoes. organic shoes, she’d said—handcrafted by a designer who only used sustainably sourced materials, each pair worth thousands. she’d tossed them carelessly to the side, as if they were nothing more than an afterthought.

“it’s beautiful,” you’d breathlessly answered, unsure of how to respond. what else could you say? the couch was more than a place to sit. it was a symbol of everything that separated you from her.

the older woman had smiled, that knowing little smile of hers, and settled onto the couch, curling her legs beneath her. “it should be,” she’d replied, her voice laced with a subtle arrogance. “it cost a fortune. but you can’t put a price on comfort, can you?”

at the time, you’d nodded, sitting beside her, careful not to spill the coffee you’d brought from a café that seemed almost comically out of place in her world of curated luxury. but now, looking back, you realize how much weight that moment held.

the couch, the shoes, the apartment—it was all part of the same narrative. jisoo’s life was meticulously designed, every element perfectly placed to reflect her status. even her so-called love of organic, sustainable products wasn’t about caring for the earth; it was about showing the world that she could afford to care. it was another layer of the image she presented, another way to remind you that you didn’t quite belong.

the shoes—those ridiculously expensive shoes—had been one of the first things you’d noticed about her. how she would glide through the city in them, effortlessly chic, while you tried to keep up in your well-worn sneakers. how she never seemed to care about the price tag, because to her, money wasn’t something you worried about. it was something you had. something you displayed.

you remember asking her about them once, marveling at their craftsmanship, at the intricate details stitched into the leather. “they’re nice, right?” she’d said, almost bored with the conversation. “made by a small artisan. i like supporting brands that are more...conscious. but it’s not just about the shoes, you know? it’s about a lifestyle.”

at the time, you’d nodded along, impressed by her philosophy, thinking there was something admirable about her commitment to sustainability. but now, with the clarity that only distance can bring, you see it differently. it wasn’t about responsibility or caring for the environment—it was about exclusivity. 

jisoo didn’t just buy things; she bought status. and as a result, she never let you forget where you came from.

she didn’t need to say it outright; her silences were louder than any words. the way her gaze would graze over your simple gifts, a flash of disappointment quickly masked by a too-sweet smile. the way her laughter, always so soft and melodic to anyone else, would carry a sharp edge when she’d point out how "cute" your attempts to impress her were. every look, every gesture, had been a reminder: you would never be enough.

and the holidays only magnified the divide between you. her family gatherings were a spectacle—elegant, with a quiet kind of opulence, but they were colder than the snow beginning to fall outside. conversations were distant, sterile, filled with politeness and half-meant compliments. you’d watch as jisoo’s mother raised an eyebrow at you, a polite but questioning smile on her lips, while her father barely acknowledged your presence at all, too engrossed in conversations about business acquisitions and real estate.

you remember the first time you had brought her home to meet your family. the warmth in the room had been undeniable, even if the house had been modest. the table was small, the plates mismatched, and the wine was cheap, but there had been laughter. real, full-bodied laughter, the kind that left your cheeks flushed. but jisoo had sat there, stiff and out of place, a polite smile frozen on her lips as she delicately picked at her food. she had said all the right things, but you could tell—she didn’t belong in your world, just as you didn’t belong in hers.

and after that night, she’d never come back. not once.

"it’s not my kind of environment," she’d said, as if your family home was some quaint little corner of a forgotten world. but you hadn’t pushed it. you’d just smiled, hoping that love would eventually smooth out the rough edges between your lives.

but it never did.

your image of her entirely changed once she launched her own dior collaboration.

the transformation was undeniable. jisoo had always been poised, elegant, and out of reach, but when her dior collaboration was announced, it was as if she ascended to another level entirely—a world you never truly belonged to. the moment you saw her in those campaign ads, draped in luxury from head to toe, with that distant, unreadable expression in her eyes, you realized something had shifted. it wasn’t just the clothes or the brand—it was her.

the once subtle differences between you were now glaring. she’d always had a way of making you feel small, of making the simplest moments feel like they were being measured against some invisible standard. but now, with the world’s eyes on her, she no longer had to hide it. she wore her superiority like couture, and her status was no longer just an undercurrent in your relationship—it was the defining feature.

you remember scrolling through your phone that first day the campaign was released, seeing her everywhere—billboards, social media, magazines. her image was iconic, flawless, unattainable. the woman in those pictures wasn’t the same person you once loved, or perhaps she was, and you had simply refused to see it. the jisoo in dior was the one the world adored: polished, elegant, and untouchable. and the jisoo you had known—the one who laughed with you on lazy sundays, who curled up next to you in bed with soft whispers—felt like a figment of your imagination.

that night, you sat in your apartment, surrounded by the faint scent of coffee and fallen leaves, watching her face appear on the tv during yet another interview. the host praised her for her taste, her grace, and asked how it felt to be a global ambassador for such a prestigious brand. jisoo smiled that small, practiced smile, the kind that could melt an audience but had always left you feeling cold.

“it’s an honor, truly,” she said, her voice as smooth as ever. “i’ve always been drawn to the finer things in life, and working with dior is the perfect alignment of that vision.”

drawn to the finer things. those words echoed in your mind long after the interview ended. it wasn’t that she loved the finer things—anyone could—but the way she lived for them, the way they seemed to define her, made you realize just how different you were.

the last time you saw her in person, it was the tail end of last fall, the leaves almost entirely stripped from the trees, the sky a muted shade of gray. you’d met for coffee, though it felt more like a final performance than a reunion. she had walked in, dressed head-to-toe in dior, effortlessly chic in her monochromatic outfit, the click of her heels on the hardwood floor echoing like some distant reminder of all the ways she had outgrown you.

she hadn’t even taken off her sunglasses, those oversized black lenses that concealed any hint of vulnerability. the moment she sat down, you knew—this was the end.

“i’m heading to paris for fashion week,” she had said casually, as if she were talking about a trip to the grocery store. “things have been busy.”

you remember nodding, unsure of what to say, feeling the weight of the unspoken words between you. there was no warmth in her gaze, no familiarity in her voice. the woman sitting across from you was a stranger, more concerned with her schedule, her image, her empire, than with you.

when you finally found your voice, all you could manage was, “i’m happy for you.” it sounded hollow, even to your own ears.

she had smiled—an empty, fleeting gesture. “thanks. it’s good to hear you say that.” her leaving behind the scent of her designer perfume felt more symbolic than it probably should have,

that’s when you knew—there was nothing left of what you once had. 

the girl you had fallen in love with was gone, replaced by someone who only cared for power, prestige, and perception. and as the autumn wind howled outside, rattling the windows of the café, you realized you weren’t mourning the loss of her, but the version of her you had once believed in.

jisoo wasn’t just a woman anymore. she was a brand. a symbol. a masterpiece crafted by the very world she belonged to. and you? you were simply a chapter in her rise to the top, forgotten as soon as the ink dried.

you didn’t date kim jisoo for her wealth. 

you dated her for the way she seemed to know the world in a way you never could—confident, poised, above it all. you thought that maybe, by loving her, you could somehow touch that world too. but love wasn’t what had tied you together. not really.

it had been power.

she loved the way you looked at her, like you were eternally trying to catch up. the way you stumbled over the names of her favorite designers, or blinked in confusion when she mentioned some art exhibit you hadn’t even heard of. she loved the control. and you—god, you had loved her for it. back then, you thought it was awe. now you see it for what it was: submission.

but there, in the middle of the bustling autumn streets, as you watch the leaves scatter across the pavement in a dance as fleeting as your relationship, you find yourself wondering—does she think about you?

does she ever sit in that apartment of hers, surrounded by luxury and untouched by the season, and wonder what it would be like to be less than perfect? does she ever close her eyes and picture the messier parts of love, the parts she could never let herself fall into?

you smile bitterly, pulling your coat tighter around yourself. maybe she does.

maybe, even now, as you wander through the city you had once explored together, her mind drifts to you—the one person who had never fit neatly into the frame of her perfectly curated life. maybe she remembers how, despite everything, you were never quite small enough to be molded. 

and maybe, just maybe, in her moments of silence, with her designer bags and high-rise views, she thinks about how she’ll never find someone quite like you again. someone who saw her for more than just the polished surface she presented to the world. someone who, despite it all, had loved her—flaws, cruelty, and all.

the wind howls, scattering more leaves into the air, and you watch as they swirl and disappear. there’s a certain beauty to the way things fall apart, you realize. a kind of freedom in it.

jisoo might not know that, but you do. however, your mind refused to let you rest.

it was 3 am, and you were still wide awake. the cold light of your phone screen cast shadows on the walls of your tiny apartment, worlds away from the penthouse where jisoo was probably fast asleep. you imagined her there, wrapped in those luxurious silk sheets, her breath steady, undisturbed by thoughts of you. in her city. the one that always felt a little brighter, a little shinier than yours. a place you never quite belonged.

your mind wandered, picturing her with someone new. someone from her world. the kind of girl who knew all the right names to drop at fancy dinners, who could wear those thousand-dollar organic shoes without feeling like an imposter. a girl with a perfect pedigree, someone who her friends probably thought was “better” than you. you could almost hear them whispering it, their voices low but full of certainty.

it wasn’t long ago that you had tried to fit into those circles. you’d been the outsider, awkward and out of place in jisoo’s world of high-society dinners and private parties. but you tried, back when love made you brave, when you thought if you just held her hand tight enough, the rest would fall into place.

they let you sit at the table, once. out of courtesy, or maybe because you were still attached to her arm like an accessory she wasn’t ready to give up. you’d laugh when they laughed, your smile tight as they sat around talking about the meaning of life, throwing around names of philosophers and books you’d never heard of.

“the book that just saved me,” one of them had said, casually, like it was a known fact that certain books saved people. you’d smiled and nodded, even though the title flew right over your head, another reminder of how little you belonged.

jisoo had glanced at you then, her eyes softening in the way they sometimes did when she noticed you struggling. she squeezed your hand under the table, like she used to when you were still hers, when you thought her world was one you could live in.

but that was before. before the doubts crept in, before the weight of her world pressed down on you. now, it felt like she’d moved on, maybe even found someone who fit in effortlessly where you never could. someone who didn’t have to pretend.

you rolled over, the silence of your room closing in, and you couldn’t help but wonder if she was asleep now, completely at peace. and if the girl in her bed had the right name, the right look, and could keep up with her friends when they talked about art and life and all the things that always seemed just out of your reach.

the thought made your chest ache, that deep, familiar loneliness that always seemed to come with thinking about her. about them. those nights when you sat in the background, silently wishing you could be enough. but no matter how much you tried, you could never quite silence the feeling that jisoo’s friends were always comparing you to someone else, someone better.

and tonight, even though you knew it was pointless, you couldn’t stop wondering if they were telling her that the new girl was everything you never could be. or maybe jisoo was out at one of those cool indie concerts she dragged herself to every week, trying to feel young, trying to prove she was still part of the scene, even though she didn’t belong there any more than you did. it was always about feeling cooler than she actually was, pretending she wasn’t inching further from the age of the crowd around her.

but even with her friends laughing by her side, pretending to be someone else, you knew the truth. 

“i bet you think about me.”

[lilimalia]

MOURNFUL // zhongli

SYNOPSIS... how can a god with such a stain on her hand survive the eyes of her beloved. looking away from his own adoring gaze on a woman you could never be brings back the disdain you had tried so very hard to bury in your core. nothing you had ever done was good enough, right zhongli?

CHARACTERS... traveller/aether,, zhongli/morax,, streetward rambler,, guizhong,, cloud retainer/xianyun,,

DISCLAIMERS... angst ,hurt/comfort , sort of desperate love blinded reader, unrequited love female reader , series part III

BARISTA'S INTEL... This persons art style is too die for. Oh my goodness.

TAG LIST... @nightrayseishina , @hiqhkey , @aethscend , @kgogoma , @patchi-chi , @ittosoneandoniwife , @neverlandlostchild , @milkiemei , @seyboo , @lumpywolf , @simpcreator , @rjreins , @chuusposts , @thelonelyarchon , @iiyumiii , @gellitu @almighty-raiden-shogunate , @plusea , @swivi , @juminsamore , @hekkappo , @tanspostsblog , @mysteriouslydelightfulchaos , @binar-es , @loyal-mad-dog , @heeseung-lover686 , @anniejourn , @yelshin , @floffytofu , @yuminako

CAFE TUNE... Where Is My Love // SYML

Your heart aches overwhelmingly, its beat sending out signals that tear you down an inch for inch. The longer you stay in the warmth of embracement from Cloud Retainer the more you fear to turn even your head towards him.

Zhongli whose voice breaks into as he calls for you.

"[Name]..."

"Won't you look at me, old friend?..."

The sound of his melodramatic voice rings across the blooming city. You see the flickers of lights and lanterns, floating into the air as prayers are set and blessings are wished for in the corner of your eye. The world around is stilling to a pause as you nuzzle deeper into Cloud Retainer's chest. Her arms tightened in, wrapping in a way that almost made you break in half. Her own heart is beating rapidly, thumping in pace with yours as you feel her protection rule over your own emotions. It's daunting to sit still, waiting for whatever would snap you out of it.

"[Name]? Where have you been all these years? This, Ms. Xianyun, had this been arranged before? This gathering, had you known? Duànzào?... why." he's whimpering it almost feels like. The closest you've ever seen the great Rex Lapis stumble. His words broke and shifted under the weight of the thick air.

It almost tore your heart how he called your name. Like a beckon, a beg, a sob for you. But the use of a name for the very woman you had confided in for so long, that you hadn't recognized, resounded in your head. The space between your past and their present.

The present you had missed out on for so long.

A sob you'd had hoped to hear from his lips for so very long. The way he kept repeating over his own words unceremoniously, in a mantra.

You.

You had broken him like this.

If you turned around now, could you face him as the man he was to you? The man he was, but now is?... Could you look him in the eye and take in the way your heart shattered in your own mind. The way its pieces couldn't hold together, not even with the strongest binding made by immortals?

Was he even still a god?

His footsteps are nighing, every clink of his boots drawing your racing heart to a deafening stop. It feels like no shield could halt his nearing presence. Your eyes watering in small candescent drips, your cheeks burn and ache as you desperately try to lodge yourself back into the comforting cradle of your friend- no, Xianyun. A name newly bitter on your tongue.

Yet another thing that has changed. While you remain stagnant in your fickle emotions that tore your body down like a potter’s reclaimed porcelain clay.

Over and over your feelings run through you, recycling what could’ve, would’ve, should've, happened.

“Turn around Morax. There is no... There is no Duànzào here, she’s long died in the aftermath of war all those centuries ago."

“And yet I see her ghost haunt me right as I breathe and stand.”

He’s muttering again, his stupid melodic voice sniveling as his cold, so very cold hand, pulls you away gently from your tight hold on Xianyun’s waist.

When had you even found it in you to grapple around her like that? It was as if you were unconscious of even what your own body sought out to seek.

Cloud Retainer’s eyes are darting towards your feeble state, watching ever so reluctantly as she withholds herself from you. Glancing up as your eyes pathetically glance away from her gaze. For you to come so far in your tantrum only to feel the shame crawling up your legs now. The irony was comedic. Almost.

"One hopes that you are able to find the peace you've barren yourself from [Name]"

In a small scoff, she steps back into the shadows cast by Liyue’s ever-glistening moonlight watching keenly as Zhongli’s outstretched hand that’s been placed on your shoulder breathlessly withdraws. In the back of your mind, your fears are endless, but as you turn to face the man you once knew, they silence.

Every gnawing apprehension you had held tied itself down in chains. His marble eyes watching over you in such agony it almost took you back.

The way his lips thinned into each other, pressed firmly as his face hardened and connected with your own eyes. The swaying light that loomed above and cascaded down onto the ground from the lanterns made his eyes almost shine like jewels cast out from ore…

But try as you might, no bewitching sight could take away the scene that laid itself in front of you, Zhongli’s stern look as his eyes, oh his eyes, melted. Pure unadulterated throbbing pain flashing through his milky sunsettia colored eyes. Not a single word spoken and yet, staring into his face for the first time in centuries conveyed words you could never dream of speaking out loud.

It burned to even glance over him, he looked so… Disgusting. Disappointed, disappointed in you. The longer you watched his face flicker in all sorts of turmoils, the harder it became to even face him with a single word. He was angry in a way you had never seen before, anger that flashed in his eyes and yet washed over with want and defeat. His eyes, they told so much and yet so little, what would he say? When he found out you had killed the very beloved woman he trusted by his side?

What would he say, when he learned about you?

The whole of you that you could never share to any god nor man. The disgusting part of you that you had so miserably prayed would have frozen and stoned away in the amber penitentiary you had locked yourself away in.

“Ms. Xianyun, I believe it would only be right if you left us to our duties. It seems there are many things I have left to settle with this dear acquaintance of mine.” If a man as graceful as Zhongli were to ever feel wrath, you supposed this would be it.

His voice is sharp and toned, in a way that was uncharacteristically seething. As he sharply turns away your only barrier from his fury. Adeptal strength carrying Xianyun's body elsewhere from what you could feel.

You need not even look, as you feel the presence of your savior nod and blend skillfully away from the alley.

Sucking in a breath, you’ve steeled your eyes sharply against Zhongli’s.

It’s time you’ve faced your greatest enemy.

…

His boots are sharply stepping towards you. Agonizingly clicking,

One

Two

Three

Steps he takes. Glaring at you, seething through his pursed lips as he backs you into the wall.

While you may be a goddess, in all your might and power, you are still a goddess under Morax the Archon of Geo.

“You. In that great calamity all those years ago, Cloud Retainer had said you had perished amid battle, disappeared in the war. She had pronounced to me, to everyone that you had sacrificed yourself heroically to save the men who called your name and prayed you’d sharpen their blades and brandish their spears-“, he pauses, taking one long, dignified step, caging you finally into the wall as his breath swooned around you.

The air was so dense with tension, you wondered if he had played some all godly trick to hold the air.

His breath is still tantalizing staining you, piercing right through you as his face inches in closer in such clear detail it shocks you to your core.

Each and every breath he inhaled and exhaled, showed a puff of smoke against the clean cool air of the port. If it was Zhongli’s mortal breath or the angry puffs of smoke from an upset Rex Lapis Loong it was hard to tell at this point. It felt almost... Sacrilegious, to speak.

"Imagine my surprise, when I find that the very god these mortals partake in blessing, comes to stand on the very day of the Lantern Rite. Had you really spent all these years alive? The soldiers these people set out their lanterns for, to guide their ways home, was that you?...", he's yet to lay a single hand on you, simply towering over you with his stature, although it feels like you're trapped in a cage.

"Tell me [Name], had you demanded of Cloud Retainer to lie on your behalf?... Why would you leave us in ignorance of you?...."

"What would you like me to say Morax? No, I apologize, Zhongli. Would you like to hear that I had died in battle gracefully and yet have come back to part ways? Or would you instead like to hear of my betrayals, the life I lost in that war? What would please you to hear my dear Zhongli?" your words held such bitterness to him that it almost shook you. Taciturn words laced over your tongue as you spat your disdain at him.

Its no wonder you couldn't ever face the reality of him.

Doesn't it feel childish to you [Name]? Aren't you ashamed? Aren't you ashamed of this act you're putting on?

He's not replying. He's not even moving.

You realize.

You're scared.

Scared out of your mind, falling again into a pit of overwhelming, surging, urge to run away. Your body won't move, you can't run even if you wanted to.

It is before he speaks, that he finally seems to snap out of his own trance, that his cold, so very cold, hand takes to your cheek. Landing softly on the side of your jaw, reeling you in so wretchedly close. His breathing stilling to a slow, shakingly let loose. Even in this state of distraught, he's gorgeous in every way. His hands were warmer now, stroking from your jaw to your cheek pulling you in closer by the minute. Your foreheads touch, as he lowers his gaze from your cheek to your grey eyes, now pooling in a mix of [e/c] the longer he holds you. As he stares, there's some mixed emotion you can't figure out, the closeness of it all, was this purely the effect of a friend?

Is it wrong to hope he means for more?

"I... I miss you."

.

.

.

With every ounce of your being, a strangled cry let loose, this forlorn cacophony not even slaughter could bring.

Your wailing, sobs wrench themself out of your lungs, caged from all those years ago as you refuse to hold him in the moment of your weakness. Haunted by the ghost of you, you that you could never explain to anyone, not Cloud Retainer, not Zhongli, not Streetward Rambler. A dam built up and broken down by the hurt you felt, forgotten and cast aside, only to be torn down by the gentle embrace he hugged you in.

But Zhongli, as godly as he was, had never looked as ethereal as he did now. That same so longing look disappeared as his eyes closed, silence speaking louder, thrumming harder, as he pulled you closer into his arms.

Is this what old friends do? You’d like to ask.

It doesn’t feel like it.

He’s leading you on, trapping you in this cozy little cage he’s made. Pressing you against his chest as the symphony of his heartbeat strums a rhythm so ruthlessly seductive that your sniffling chokes to a stop.

He’s yet to say a word.

But your struggling to say less.

The tears that run down your face stain his garments. Loose wet pools splayed out onto the rough silk embellished coat he wore. But yet he holds you, falling forward into the wall as his heart continues to fiddle its melody.

A century felt like nothing as the man of your qualms held you so adoringly.

So you stand, you stand as you weep, grieving the person you lost. Grieving the woman you were, regretting the man you had given up your life for. So you stand, weeping for the person you trapped away in a prison you designed. As you stand, as you stand a cry, he holds, holds tightly, cradles gently. Pushing against the wall as his hands wrap tenderly around the space of your back. Rubbing up and down, stroking with his thumb as he begins to breath in a deep sigh.

You’ve yet to see his expression, has it changed? Is he… angry? With you?

“How lonely I must have made you feel Duànzào”, his hands stopped. Instead returns to his side as he steps back, looking you in the eye.

It takes every bone you have in your body not to follow his figure forward, wrap yourself back into the solace you’ve newly accustomed too.

“I apologize [Name], for not being the proper pillar you needed.” Now, he bows, deep all the way down as he lifts his head up slightly to return your soaked eyes.

It takes a few minutes to process his apology. Watching as he holds his breath and waits for your permission for him to raise.

Isn’t this what you wanted?

It didn’t feel right, did it?

“Can you fix me?” Your asking, reaching a hand out limply, curling your fingers in as you take in his cheek.

“Can’t you fix me now?”

When he rises, he only looks deeper in anguish. Looking shamefully away as darkened black shadows of people pass by.

Another tear drips, watching as he fails to answer.

“Truthfully… I am not sure. How can I, Rex Lapis, fix another god? When I am imperfect myself.”

“But you aren’t, you aren’t imperfect.” You're gasping out, surprised by his degenerative words.

“Your gorgeous Mor- Zhongli. Your are so beautiful it hurts. It hurts to stand here and beg you to save me when I've cast myself out away by my own accord.” The words you're spewing out don’t sound like yours. They feel like the storytellers, the watchers, the observers.

“Don’t you understand Zhongli?… I am the imperfect one, I am the forsaken god. The flaw in your flawless self.”

What overtakes you now, you're not sure, but it embarrasses you. Stomping down on your every hurt, as the tears stop rushing down your face. Your clothes are stained dark as the cool air breezes over them. Leaving you to shiver in their sharpness. You're asking questions you don't know the answer to, you're begging for an answer that isn't there. You're wishing he'd look at you and say he knows how to fix you when you know the problem and its solution.

When he looks at you now, his eyebrow perks up, the pools that decorated his eyes glowed with sudden sparked curiosity.

“How could you ever be flawed?", he asks. This genuine tone in his voice peeks in confusion as he takes to lifting your chin again. Beckoning you to look up at him, take his glory as those glowing eyes scan over you. Taking in your fault, your flaw, as you're stained in your own tears, shaking under the breezy wind, broken down into something. Something less than a god.

"When Cloud Retainer spoke of your death, she left much vague," he starts, rubbing your face over and over again, soothing your hasty breaths down from your panic.

"Would it be wrong to assume, instead, that you had fled? Had I, Rex Lapis, so horribly failed at being an Archon you could depend on that you had taken to running away from us all?"

"Was I, what you feared?"

If there were tears left to cry, they've fled and left you stranded. Why is it that to explain how it tore you inside out that you, the divine, couldn't sedate the coarse emotions that ran through you, felt like driving a stake down your heart. How could you ever admit that in the face of calamity, in fear you ran from your responsibilities, hiding away from your problems.

Staring now, back into his eyes, your [e/c] felt dull in comparison.

"Would you believe me, if I told you when I fled, I fled from myself?"

"I can't seem to understand... Please, won't you elaborate?" he perks up, raising a questioning brow.

"I loved you. Once."

...

When he looks at her, the memory of her death flashes through his mind like venom. The dripping cold sweat that had run down his face when he had heard from his dear old trusted ally that you had not returned home.

He remembers that somber night after the news of your passing.

"One is sorry that one was not there to save her in time Rex Lapis. If only one had been there under her arms to aid", Cloud Retainer had responded, sitting side by side with him on the peak of Mt. Aozang on the stone-carved stools.

As she poured steaming tea down into his small cup, softly held in his hands, she looked up at the moon. Hot osmanthus tea shined in pearl-like wonder as they both shared a clink of cups in honor of their fallen comrades.

His eyes are welling into tears, his vision of the rabbit moon blurring the longer he stares.

He weeps for her.

"Rex Lapis... She had died valiantly for our sakes. One wishes you to at least feel peace of mind over that", Cloud Retainer nods, shakingly covering her eyes as she adjusts her red rim glasses. Hiding away the shed of a tear behind the disguise of it.

When two gods tinker and drink to their loss, he is left reminded that in the deep dark of the night two had not returned to join their banter.

Where were those to share the memory?

He is reminded that they are no longer there.

...

So when he looks deep into the god he had for so long thought had died, there's a mournful feeling he can't seem to shake away.

When you had died, had he missed you more then he missed Guizhong?

When you had left him so wrongfully that night, had he weeped because he loved you?

"I loved you. Once"

She said, clear as running water, yet as full of desperate anguish as a soldier in their last battle.

Does he love you? Is he the reason you had thought there was no other escape except for death?

He's yet to process his feelings, perplexed and lost. He's swimming in grief so deeply sewn into his wounds that it's almost impossible to grasp that there is love in her.

The timing isn't right. He can't do this here. Not now, he doesn't understand it all.

But her eyes, stare back at him, despairingly grabbing at him, not with her hands, but with her gaze, reeling him in. Pleading at him to understand, but he doesn't. He can't.

It hurts to even look her in the eye.

Can't she see how much she's done to him? The way she's brought an Archon even to her feet.

"When you had left, had you flee because you loved me?",

Did she run away, did she run away from him?

So why did she come home?

"I'm... Not sure. I'm not sure at all Zhongli."

"Would you hate me if it was?"

In him, he fails to find the words to describe it. The scattered emotions left out to dry ever since the Archon War. The bleeding heart and emotional wounds he's never healed from. Scars that litter his body inside and out, because as god, he is cursed to live with them.

While he fails to find the words for the feelings he feels, he also struggles to say anything back. He could never hate her could he. Not when he had been so graciously granted a second chance at her, at them and the memories.

As long as he stares, he fails to pinpoint what he feels for her. He closes his eyes, letting his body soothe. Releasing the tension he hadn't noticed developed in his shoulders. Letting the whole of his body relax.

He steps forward, opening his eyes, grabbing her face.

"I cannot give you an answer when I have yet to fully face what has happened. But if I could be so bold to make a request in your honor," he pauses, watching tenderly as you soften under his clasp. Breathing in hard as your eyes connect again for the longest time.

"Allow me to face you," he leans in, noses touching.

"Allow me to take the you that you have demonstrated to me this fateful night. Show me the you I could not receive, and I will seep it in with my whole being," lips closing in painfully slow,

"Allow me to try and love you my dear [Name]."

He closes his eyes, the last image of you being as your eyes widen in surprise at his closeness, and tenderly places his lips against yours. Grazing his hands ever so gently on your cheeks as he sinks into you, encasing your lips with his own. Soft and warm as he presses you up against the wall, softly stroking your cheek as he blindly collapses against you. Only opening his eyes once more when he's felt that the last of his breath fails to hold.

A tear trickles down your face, and he prays that it'll be the very last one he causes.

"I think [Name], that Rex Lapis was a very unfortunate man to have lost you." He murmurs, stroking away the tear with the flick of his wrist. It flings with a shine.

"May I love you in his place?", he pauses, waiting for you to reply.

Deep down he fears he's lost you already,

His heart spikes as he fears he's crossed boundaries.

Only to suck in a breath as your lips collide once more. Gnawing desperately against his he's tilting his head to take in the sweet chaste kiss you share. Both of you breathing desperately as tears fall between you both, cold in comparison to your shaky warm exchange.

"I love you," He thinks.

AFTERMATH (bonus)

He's got you swept over his lap as he sits on the wooden bench. Gazing out longingly from the pavilion as he waits for the women behind him to seat down beside him. Sighing tiredly as he listens to the last of her prolonged recap.

"One is most surprised that you Zhongli had taken this long to realize she had the utmost adoration for you", Xianyun snickers, sitting down beside him as she too stares sweetly at your resting body. Taking in quickly the way the under bags of your eyes were puffy as well as the way your eyelashes were clumped up in barely noticeable bundles.

He shades his hand over her face away from her teasing look.

"I would have never thought that her distrusting glares and offish behavior had been from her belief that her love was unrequited..." he replies, awkwardly coughing as he shields his gaze conveniently up to the moon.

"Well, it would seem to One that you had never been good at personal affairs. After all, Duànzào had always been the diplomat." she chuckles, pouring from a steaming pot into two solid stone cups. Steam bubbled up in wisps as the aroma of herbs wafted into the air.

"I simply wish that you had not lied to me Ms. Xianyun"

"Oh? And what would the old Rex Lapis have done? Chased after her and corner her into confession? It's almost amusing to consider how you would have tormented the poor women", she chuckles, passing him the warm cup, as she takes her own in two palms.

"Mm... Perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. For us immortals to be reunited after all these years." Blowing on the steam and inhaling the cup awkwardly to the side to avoid your face as your chest rose in every breath.

"Hmph! A blessing indeed."

As the both clink cups the stone reverts the sound. Sharing a sip of the new brew, their eyes glance up at the stunning moon. Intaking the silent night left after the joyful Lantern Rite activities.

As two gods sit in a breathtaking view, after a night of floating lanterns and fireworks shared between the old and new, they share a pot of brew.

Sighing in unison, both look adoringly at the peaceful figure laid adoringly draped upon one of their laps.

As a third god returns home to share the memories.

SPECIAL BREWS...

Loong // chinese word for dragon

Lanterns // one of zhongli's voiceline refers to how in the old days of Liyue during war people would light lanterns as a way for soldiers to find home, because many related the Goddess of the Forge (reader) to good armour when they would light these lanterns they would pray for a safe journey guided by (reader), zhongli assumes she helped guide their paths when presumably dead, this is untrue of course since she was trapped in prison (it was merely good fortune for most)

Diplomat // a reference to part II dialogue, during the old days as zhongli was considered more hard headed, (reader) would be in charge of negotiations, Xianyun references an old convo

BARISTA'S INQUIREMENT... as of 2024 this is now my longest fanfic, i want to give special thanks to everyone who patiently waited over a year for an update and I hope that this series ending fufilled at least some of your guys expectations. i am so proud that my tumblr journey starts and continues with this fanfic <3, thank you guys for reading!

word count. 4,017

tag list !

PREVIOUS // FINAL

©lilimalia... Please do not plagiarize, themes are edited by me, reblogs allowed, do not repost on any other platform!!

banner credits: @DonaldAkron on twitter

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

i wish you’d write a threesome with aemond, reader, and someone else of your choosing! 🖤

Here you are, my love, a tidbit for you...

"If he tries to take you, you must not resist."

The statement catches her off guard as she lies next to her husband in his bed, keeping to his unburned side, knowing it will cause him the least discomfort.

When Aegon had first taken to his sickbed, a mess of melted flesh and broken bones, she had wept, not knowing if he would ever be whole again. For six long months she had kept vigil by his bedside, watching anxiously as Maester Orwyle had worked fastidiously to make him well. He slept nine hours out of every ten, and when he was lucid he simply moaned in pain and begged for his next draught of poppy milk.

It is only in recent weeks that he is well enough to rise from his bed with assistance, though he cannot walk far. He can now hold a conversation without gasping for breath, addled by pain. Even his voracity has returned, to a degree. He is under strict instructions to not attempt to lay with his wife, however, it has not prevented him from commanding her to lay beside him on the bed as he brings her to peak on his fingers.

"Who?" She asks softly, brow furrowing in concern, as she softly strokes his forehead. A subtle way to check that his words are not feverish ramblings.

"Aemond," he replies simply. "He covets my crown, at the cost of my life. I expect he will want all that goes with it, my Queen included."

She swallows thickly. She had long suspected foul play had been behind Aemond's sudden rise to the position of Prince Regent, however, it is the first she has heard it spoken aloud. However, in the midst of war she is certain that laying claim to her will be the last thing on his mind.

"I'm sure your brother has more pressing matters to attend to, my love," she reassures him.

"I mean it," he says, voice strained and fraught with emotion. "Give him what he wants. I will gladly share you if it spares your life."

It not two weeks later that she sits straddling Aegon's face, a knee either side of his head on the pillow as he laps greedily at her sticky core, the throbbing sensation making it almost impossible to keep her hips still as she grips the headboard with such force it turns her knuckles white.

She is tentative in how she positions herself, careful in her movements, not wishing to hurt him. If it were up to her, they would not be doing this at all in the first place, however, he had been insistent in his demands.

"If I do not get a taste of your cunt soon, I fear I shall go mad. Have mercy on a cripple."

She had giggled at his brashness and finally relented, and is glad she had. The art of pleasure is something that even more than half a year spent infirm could not make Aegon forget.

The doors to the bed chamber burst open, robbing her of the sweet oblivion she had teetered upon the edge of and making her startle. She gasps as Aemond announces his presence, sweeping into the room as he throws the doors closed behind him.

She desperately tries to scramble away from Aegon, to make herself look presentable, but he holds firm to her thighs, keeping her precisely where she is.

Her skin burns hot with humiliation as Aemond slowly advances towards the bedside, clearly unbothered by the spectacle he has walked in on. He looms over the bed side, looking down at her as she gazes back up, eyes wide and fearful.

"It appears to me," he tells her softly, "that my brother has not made available to me all of the resources necessary for me to rule the Kingdom in his stead."

Her eyes drop to where his fingers now work open the lacings of his trousers, her heart thudding at the sight, mind racing with the possibilities of what he means to do.

"I require the services of the Queen," he continues, "and I expect her to be forthcoming."

Her throat runs dry as he frees himself, the tip of his erection already glistening with arousal.

Aemond reaches out, his fingers sinking into her hair as he cups the back of her head, pulling her forward, the head of him pressing against her lips.

"Is that understood?"

She hesitates, and feels Aegon give her thighs an encouraging squeeze.

"If he tries to take you, you must not resist." The words echo in her mind, and she parts her lips, allowing him to push forward into her mouth.

The taste of him upon her tongue is sharp and unfamiliar, though not unpleasant. And as she feels her husband's tongue begin to lap at her folds once more, while his brother thrusts slowly into her throat, she decides that in war they must all make sacrifices, and that if her body is to be forfeit then she will gladly yield.

[krysmcscience]

Don't mind me, just slacking on a big Billford comic by making other far more ridiculous Billford comics and also some AU art (please excuse my slapdash human!Bill thank you please, also before anyone asks the art style is messy and all over the place because idgaf LOL)

This started out as an excuse to design a Bill Cipher-inspired "wedding" dress, but then spiraled wildly out of control. Various rambles and a bunch more human!Bill arts under the cut, including another silly little comic at the end! (Feel free to skip the rambles, I won't be offended. I know I'm bad at shutting up. XD)

I may or may not write some comedy stuff for this AU, which I'm calling 'For Better Or Worse (But Mostly Worse)'. While Ford DOES remember getting sloshed enough for one thing to lead to making out with another after karaoke, neither he nor Bill remember this wedding, At All. The Love God did nothing to dissuade them from going hog wild on their marriage spending, either, so it got...uh. Exorbitantly Expensive. As in, the grand total could probably buy the entire fucking MOON sort of expensive. (It's fine, don't worry, Bill's good enough at crime to be able to afford it.) Also, because the logic of this AU is mostly dictated by Rule of Funny, the Love God's powers are close to unlimited when it comes to matters of romance, but ONLY when it comes to matters of romance. (Like weddings!)

Want an empty human vessel to smash the soul of a triangle into for date nights or when it's convenient, or perhaps even when it's NOT convenient? Easy peasy! Want the marriage to be recognized in every corner of the multiverse from now until the end of time, thus making any potential future divorce nigh-on impossible? Can do! Want to buy an entire beach for the ceremony and honeymoon and in general, and totally not at all because it would be Super Hilarious to prevent any specific movies from being made on that very same beach in the future? Fine, whatever, it's not his finances he's ruining!

Does the Love God also provide special rings that just so happen to turn incorporeal as long as the "happy couple" doesn't remember that they barged into his dreams to bully him into presiding over their marriage? ...No comment!

He spends the next thirty years trying and failing to get in touch with either of them for payment. This is why you should always demand half the money up front, my guy!

Also it's absolutely a traditional Jewish wedding, because I like the idea of Bill demanding all the keepsakes from the marriage that he paid for, and being completely confused when one of the things he's handed is a fancy container full of broken glass. He gets it later, but in the moment, he thinks the Love God is just fucking with him some more.

Ramble over! Here's the full dress that caused the comic to happen, along with what Ford wound up wearing at the wedding (and begrudgingly agreeing to put on again later for Reasons), aaaaand also a close-up of Bill's ring:

I may have forgotten to draw Bill's hair floofier when drawing the back of the dress, lmao

Since double ring ceremonies have been leaking over into Jewish wedding customs for a while now, Ford also has a ring, but his is the much more traditional plain gold band. There's definitely a message engraved on the inside - embarrassing, cringe, or incriminating somehow - but I haven't decided what it is yet, so use your imagination for now. XD Bill, on the other hand, saw the phrase 'traditional plain gold band' and said "No Thank You" before proceeding to embellish his ring to his liking. And because he's a secret sap who adores Ford's extra fingers, the triangle points add up to twelve, as do the engraved stars. Yes, they're stars, not dots, I just got lazy. There's also six lashes on the eye gem, and probably an eye engraving on the inside with another six lashes. (Bill's got it BAD, okay? We all know this.)

Here are the initial scribbles of Bill's custom vessel in more casual attire, please ignore the wonky anatomy and the fact that I flat out refuse to ever draw him with a proper top hat:

He does actually need a cane in this vessel; since Bill tends to possess men and especially Ford more often than not, he's used to having a higher center of gravity when in a human body, so his ability to balance is pretty garbage. (He may or may not topple over with concerning regularity.) As for his empty eye socket, his bangs don't do much to hide it since he's so high-energy (dude is constantly on the move), and he also refuses to wear a patch over it, because 1.) why bother, and 2.) it's more fun to freak people out.

To better align with Ford's attraction towards the strange, the vessel was designed with super minor shapeshifting ability - Bill can look like a perfectly normal human, but he can also make the teeth and fingers sharper whenever he likes (which is mostly just when he's angry or being more of a menace than usual), as well as slit down the pupils or outright ditch the irises altogether. He can also have whatever he wants in the downstairs department, just because I'm an indecisive bitch on that front, lmao. Maybe he can have boobs if he wants them, too, but I ain't drawin' tits on no triangle, nuh-uh, no sir. His powers are otherwise limited down to what humans can do, because for some reason, the Love God doesn't trust Bill to not snap into Immediate Apocalypse Mode if he's given a physical form that's actually all his and no one else's.

Due to the body being all his and no one else's, it's also not really a standard possession so much as it is just...Bill being temporarily human. He's a lot more aware of and in tune with his human body's senses than he ever was with his "puppets", which makes things like pain a lot more intense. (He is mostly fine with this, because he's a fukken masochist.)

A bit more fashion stuff, including beach and party attire~

The beach outfit was mostly me trying and failing to nail down his body shape, which is still not bottom-heavy enough. I then decided to slap a bikini on it, before making it supremely unsexy with a pair of fugly shorts, because Bill's fashion choices are not allowed to be conventionally attractive. Meanwhile, the party outfit was mostly me looking at the casual attire I designed, asking 'how would Bill make this Worse', and then drawing the result. The mismatched thigh-highs are killing me inside! :D

No, his vessel can't actually summon fire, I just drew it for funzies before I decided on said vessel's limitations. Yes, the gold brick tattoos are absolutely a reference to the fic 'Knowing Me, Knowing You' - I simply could not resist.

I also HAD to draw Bill in one of his canonical(?) shirts, just made tank-top'd:

He is absolutely about to over-correct and fall backwards after this. USE YOUR CANE, GOOFBALL!!! (I meant to draw Bill closer to this degree of bottom-heavy in the other images, but. Alas. I am bad at anatomy, LOL)

And, last but not least before More Comic Time, I attempted to draw him closer to Gravity Falls style:

Jury's out on whether or not I succeeded, but - hey. I tried. Now have some Handyman Bill AU, but with my goofy human design, instead:

Hey, it's a 'mystery snack', and the guy wanted A BITE to eat - the joke was right there, guys!!! (Based on this post, because it just screamed BILL CIPHER to me.)

whoops i forgor bills ring and cracks ahaha too late now

I WILL SHUT UP AND STOP RAMBLING NOW K THX BYYYYYE