#and ive seen other writers with this same trend

[bi-writes]

the fact that no one really reads longer fics anymore makes me not want to write them ever again 😃

[redr0sewrites]

i wanted to kinda talk about my opinion on some things related to Ana Huang and the romance genre in general- sorry for the rant!!!

finished king of sloth by ana huang and urgrhrgrhrhrh i actually really really enjoyed it!!!! (i say that ab everything i read tho tbh, i've just never been the type who criticizes the media i consume so PLEASE don't ever base ur opinions off of mine :)

my post isn't about the book specifically or even the author. i lowkey have a bone to pick and its NOT with ana huang or the book but moreso the reaction i've been noticing about the book (specifically from people who have been making fun of it and/or people who read it)! this isn't meant to start discourse or anything but i am open to polite discussion about some of the points im bringing up. this is generally focused around ana huang but also a lot of majority-feminine centric media has this same problem.

anyways, i'm gonna try to express how i feel as best i can without being rude or offensive ajshsjs-

it just lowkey irks me that sm people have been hating on ana huang now that she's getting attention, and since she's a romance writer, her fans and fanbase is mostly women and/or girls, (which is totally ok)!! however, i genuinely feel like this is just another barbie movie or sarah j mass or taylor swift scenario where the second something/someone that a lot of woman like starts to get publicity, people (mostly men) start excessively hating on it.

i have genuinely seen sm people dissing not only ana huang but her writing as well. now i don't know much about her as a person and i know that a lot of people are flawed so if she's genuinely done something wrong PLEASE lmk, i don't keep up w that stuff. and hey, maybe you just didn't like the book and thats ok too!!! its totally valid to not like something, but to make fun of an author and the people who enjoy her content just seems.. ehh.

a lot and i mean a LOT of people claim that she's only popular because of her smut but i actually enjoy her books more than just for the smutty/romance aspect. maybe that's just me, but i genuinely find it interesting and a lot of other people i know also enjoy it for the plot. and if u are reading for the smut that's ok as well, this is a totally safe space, and nobody should judge u on your reasons to read a book. the books are INTENDED to be fluffy and spicy and overall are just fictional romantic stories. they're smutty, funny books, not the bible. it shocks me how much people make fun of them.

i just keep seeing this trend of people negatively nitpicking anything and everything about authors and their writing ESPECIALLY when its romance and it just rubs me the wrong way. ive seen a LOT of people upset about huang including cameo's of her other characters in her latest book, and if you don't like those other characters so much then why... are u reading it??? THAT SOUNDS SO MEAN IM SORRY but its just so strange that people are upset about her including her own characters from her own series'?

its just disappointing that whenever someone or something becomes popular, there are always people who are just trying to be negative and diss it along with the people who enjoy it. i'm NOT making this post to be rude or offensive to people who genuinely don't like the author or the series, ur absolutely entitled to ur own opinion!!! however i have just seen this link SO MANY TIMES of people suddenly disliking something/someone bc a lot of woman seem to enjoy it and it just makes me a bit sad and disappointed.

(also side note can men stop hating on the romance genre and books they haven't even read? please??? can feminine people like anything anymore??? romance exists as such a successful genre bc the majority of readers are WOMEN who have to create fictional scenarios about being loved by seemingly "unachievable" men that are literally just doing the bare minimum. women fantasize about being treated with BASIC HUMAN RESPECT as though that isn't the standard, bc honestly, it isnt.)

THIS POST IS NOT MEANT TO EXCLUDE ANY OF MY FELLOW NON-FEMALE/NON-WOMAN OR GENDER NON CONFORMING FOLK WHO ALSO ENJOY ROMANCE!!!! THIS IS JUST A GENERALIZATION BASED ON THINGS I HAVE NOTICED, AND I AM NOT EDUCATED/HAVE A DEGREE ON THE MATTER!!!! THIS IS SIMPLY AN OBSERVATION!!!!! IF UVE READ THIS LONG, MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!

[mitziholder]

apologies for being weird and hogging your inbox like this but i LOVE your thoughts on fandom and i think very few people talk about it in a critical way without completely condemning the entire occupation. in my experience people (not just on this website but in general) tend to take a very black and white view of fandom/fic, probably because it can feel like a very personal thing for many; either they're 'normies' who think all fanworks are 'cringe' or they're the anything goes kind of person. radfems seem to me to be the only ppl who aren't overly defensive of the enterprise but can still enjoy fanworks critically. its nice to see women who aren't like. Fandom Moms talking about these things at length. i think you're one of the few people i've agreed with regarding this subject so far :/ your analyses are very much appreciated and i'd love to read more of what you think (especially regarding the point about navigating trauma). have a good day!

oh and also regarding the whole 'i want women to read better thing' ive always felt this idea that fandom culture is above criticism (or criticising it is inherently misogynistic) is in some ways an extension or at least related to the societal notion that women should be confined to the fluffy feeling aspects of writing and art and aren't as capable of intellectually engaging with things (and of course some 'criticisms' of fan culture ARE misogynistic but i'm not referring to those atm). and obviously there isn't anything inherently WRONG with silly fluff novels or romance (especially romance of course as one can certainly explore that subject in depth and i actually think there's a lack of well written romance out there) but it still feels like a limitation on female growth to normalise women ONLY reading fanfiction or even only certain brands of genre fiction i guess? and i find it sad that so many women seem to almost buy into that idea nowadays or shoot down any sort of criticism with the 'stop shaming female desire' catchphrase. and considering that there is still a dearth of well made original female work for women in pop culture (that act as cultural touchstones in the same way a lot of male works do) it's even more depressing that a lot of fanwork centers men. sorry if this comes off as insufferably pretentious lmao! i'm not even against fanwork i mean this is tumblr i still enjoy things but hopefully you know what i mean lol

like i mean. there's a reason why fanfiction is seen as primarily a female affair (even though a lot of the highly regarded published fanfics are by men. u know the neil gaiman stuff or whatever). its sort of a reassurance that women are 'limited' to writing fanworks. idk. i guess i want women to do better idk if im making any sense

ok, mandatory disclaimer that what I’m describing here is a series of trends, trends I’ve observed within fandom at large including both fanfiction readers/writers and fujos more broadly. obviously, not everyone who reads fanfic or yaoi is a woman (though the vast majority are). obviously, not every woman who reads fanfic or yaoi is a stunted teenager who refuses to engage with any other media. I will also admit that not every fanfic is jimin ABO. I don’t think that fanfic is inherently cringe or low-quality, and there are certainly a lot of respectable published works that have been created with other people’s characters or settings. but, as I’ve said, the vast majority of fanworks in the modern day are essentially pornographic mad libs. I find that disappointing. and there’s no reason it has to be this way… except for all the reasons I’ve outlined in my other posts.

things that are lazy and thoughtless and easy, that provide instant gratification, are generally more popular than things that are difficult or uncomfortable. clearly. but people who denounce all fanfic/fanfic writers and pigeonhole it as low-effort slop are not actually interested in helping the women who write it achieve their fullest potential, because they do not believe those women have any potential. it’s true that some criticisms of fan culture and fanworks are purely misogynistic… but I care about women’s voices, and I do want women to be able to express themselves. I’m not on a quest to stop women from writing or reading fanfic. I’ve been slightly flip about the subject, but truthfully, not everything that is “derivative” is bad, and there’s no reason that fanworks couldn’t be good. it’s just that the culture around them is so intensely sensitive - anti-“shaming” - that women are terrified of saying anything about the level of quality or the potentially harmful nature of most fanfiction because they don’t want to devalue media created by and for other women.

I think that’s a disservice to women as a whole. not everything we write is valuable. I’ve written plenty of crap in the pursuit of getting better - plenty of crap I currently disagree with. and if our work can’t withstand criticism - if we shut down immediately at any hint of a deeper, more unflattering analysis of what’s really going on… then what’s the point? what are we communicating? that female fantasies exist in a compartmentalized bubble far and away from our politics and intellectual pursuits? that we should be able to j/o to rape fantasies without question because it’s not that serious? that the personal is political, except for when it isn’t… and we should all be quiet and let women write whatever they want free of criticism lest we shame them so hard they go into hiding? my standards might be a tad high, but that is setting the bar… dangerously low. it’s also patronizing. since when has “just let women enjoy things!!” ever gotten us anywhere? since when has that been a cornerstone of feminist thought? is that really the best we can do? are we really so fragile?

I’ve seen a glut of posts about how useless and harmful constructive criticism supposedly is. the reasoning is always basically the same:

criticism is mean/toxic/discouraging

maybe I’m too hardened by countless death wishes I got on my old blog, but, in my experience, whenever I have something I want to say or a point I want to make, very little can keep me from doing so. I can’t imagine being so bothered by what random Internet people think. it’s important to remember that being able to determine what criticism is valuable is a skill in itself. disavowing criticism as a whole because some of it is “toxic”/discouraging is throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

criticism is pointless; perfection is unattainable

of course nothing is ever going to be perfect. but if that’s your attitude, why bother editing? (rhetorical question. some fanfic authors do post unedited works… just because they can.) hell, why write? why get up in the morning? why make your bed? why try anything new at all? it’s a completely absurd, defeatist attitude. like the first point, it also reeks of intellectual laziness and self-satisfaction.

you could just be nice and say what you liked instead because that’s helpful too

please don’t blow smoke up my ass. in editing, I want to fix things that don’t work and to trim the fat. is it “kind” or “helpful” to let me do something completely stupid because you’re too afraid of embarrassing or offending me to say as much? also, knowing what people like is useful in producing more of what people like - it doesn’t help me do anything new or different. there is nothing less helpful to me than saying “good job!” when I ask you to read my work. it’s certainly nice (as long as you actually read it), but it’s not helpful.

it’s published, the author is through with it, and they don’t want to touch it anymore

I plan to do everything I can to edit and improve my writing before the thing is drawn and published, but I’m sure some flaws will inevitably slip through the cracks. currently, I’m rewriting entire chapters from the beginning because they became incompatible with what I wanted out of the series as it progressed. considering that a lot of people write fanfic on a chapter-by-chapter basis with only a very vague trope-strung outline, I have to wonder why they’re so averse to major overhauls. sure, it’s not pleasant, but don’t you want your writing to be the best that it can be? what is the purpose of uploading it if you don’t want the thing to be responded to as it is, warts and all?

also, not all criticism is limited to the specific work it’s derived from; many things can be extrapolated to future works as well. how are we supposed to correct trends that could lead to a decrease in the quality of future works if we can’t even point them out?

fanfiction is a hobby, and hobbies should be fun

I’m not under the impression that I’ll ever be able to make a living from my writing. I do it as a “hobby” in my spare time simply for the fact that I need an outlet for my thoughts - I need to organize them in some way. writing is an art form that we use to communicate meaning and to make sense of the world around us. your goal as a writer may be to have fun, but it isn’t mine. overgeneralizing and building an entire subculture around the pursuit of mindless fun limits what fanfiction and amateur writing have the potential to be.

you could just go read something else that you like more

actually, no. I don’t like any of it. I’m sorry if saying that is offensive to the 38-year-old she/they whose blog post I grabbed this from. most fanfic is bad. I yearn for the exploration of topics that are categorically not explored in fanfic - because the scope of what fanfic is interested in is constantly narrowing, feeding on itself, like an ouroboros. this problem is only going to get worse over time. why wouldn’t I be bothered? why can’t I say it’s a shame?

mass media and tiktok are worse!

maybe, but so what? at least the majority of people who spend their time watching tiktok videos and bad TV don’t act like it’s a suitable replacement for real literature. and at least there aren’t tiktok compilations being listed on goodreads(?)

anyway, more to the point, fandom is full of technically competent writers. but if they continue to insulate themselves within fandom or fandom-adjacent offshoots, they will never be great writers, because great writing requires tight editing (the elimination of things that are pointless and redundant), syntactic fluency, organizational skills, and, most importantly, an individual voice - an artistic vision - interpreting individual ideas… things that are born of criticism and a diversity of influences that are not present or valued within fandom in its current state. great writing cannot be made in a vacuum. great writers don’t allow themselves to be broken or stifled by criticism they disagree with.

sure, no one has a responsibility to be a great writer, and mediocre writing isn’t a moral failure… but I’m certainly not going to be happy about it, especially when the prevailing attitude is “fanfic is art… but I make what I want for myself and sharing it with you is a privilege and therefore you can’t criticize it!” how boring! how utterly conceited! my god. throwing a temper tantrum because you’re not 100% in control of how others perceive or respond to your creation. put it in a diary and not on a public forum if that bothers you so much… (but then, of course, you couldn’t count kudos.)

I do have a plan to touch on some of my other gripes since you asked so nicely. but this response is, once again, getting too long, and those things have little to do with what I was complaining about here. I’ve got an outline for a post I’ll develop and publish later as a final note on this convo, since at that point I really will have said all that I have to say… thanks again for writing in :-)

[robin-nightwing-agent37]

Once you see how race plays a part in shipping wars and etc you can’t unsee it. I’ve noticed this for years and I’ve considered really studying it and writing about it. You have to talk about race when it comes to Dick and shipping. A trend I noticed too is that predominantly a majority of DickBabs fans are white so when the questions of race or how other Dick ships are treated in comparison you start seeing how certain fans talk. But the thing that really captures my interest is that the defense that comes to defend Barbara is very loud, but when other characters like Koriand’r or Helena or Shawn or Bea etc need defending suddenly those Barbara defenders are very quiet and those who do defend said characters are seen as silly or are “mean” about it when the majority of those fans are poc. And this might piss off some people but the way Catalina Flores was created by a white woman and portrayed her the way she was WAS offensive because white DC writers have repeatedly made woc r*pists while also making the hero’s love interest at the time a white woman.

Oh yeah! I see it too! Ive complained about it multiple times. Both Dick and Babs have had POC love interests and have been very happy with them. Babs herself has been with Luke Fox TWICE and even married a Black Man in Batman Beyond. But the Batgirl fans are sooo silent about it. They hardly even acknowledge it. The writers even go out of their way to embarrass these relationships like having Babs OOC break up with Luke or forcing Dick Babs moments in the Batman Beyond comics. And the same with Dick. Having the villain tell Helena that Babs wa prettier than her. Even comparing Helena and Babs during the rebirth era was racist AF in BOP. They practically turned Bea into stepping stone for Dick Babs having her tell Dick to return to the Batfam. And I notice a lot of Kory fans have been acting strange since they hired a black woman to play Kory. DC has a habit of doing the worst shit possible to their WOC characters. When they race bent Catwoman in the comics, she became a stripper/prostitute. And you know what makes it WORSE with Barbara Gordon? IS that she literally WAS created as a way for the white male protagonist Batman TO NOT date the new black female Catwoman in the 66' yup? Babs was created soley because of racism and the network at the time being anti-interracial relationships. Needless to say, DC has a habit of using Babs to make sure thier stoic white men never fall in love with WOC. Tim Drake dated two black girls. Both are hardly remembered by Tim Drake fans and when they do bring it up, they are extremely negative about it. Batman himself has dated two black women, i mean he fell in love with them. But the writers LITERALLY, had her committed to a mental institution for the rest of her life because she used so much of her power to save Bruce, that it mentally caused her to be a like a 3 years old forever. And then Jezebel Jet literally betrayed him and then had her head torn off by freaking Talia al Ghul. So unnecessary. Talia Al Ghul was turned into a rapist that nobody liked. It's just tired at this point. And don't even get me started on how Young Justice creators made a point to say that Dick Babs or Dick Zatanna happened on and off screen, but Dick Rocket was only mentioned in passing, if at all, after that on screen. They never had Dick Rocket interacting like Dick Babs or Dick Zatanna, despite the fact he dated her for a while too. And then they thought I wouldn't notice that 90% of the villains in season 4 weren't black lmao you thought Young Justice. Despicable.

I even low key believe that the depiction of Amanda Waller is racist as well.

I really want Dick's end game to be with a black woman or black, biracial woman just to see the fandom fucking seethe.

[northoftheroad]

Can you do a meta post on all the times Bruce has called Dick and the Robins (especially Jason) his ‘soldiers’? From my understanding, while the term was used mainly once in the classic ‘Bruce Wayne loses the Guardianship of Dick Grayson’, it wasn’t until Miller’s input of it in Dark Knight Returns then it became sort of mainstream, a usual suspect of doing so being Chuck Dixon?

I'm not sure I know a lot that you don't. Except to the best of my knowledge, Alan Grant was probably the one who started the trend more than Chuck Dixon – following Frank Miller's lead.

The first time I can remember is, as you say, Batman # 20 (Loses the guardianship).

Robin Year One (2001) revisits Dick's first time as Robin, and Bruce uses "soldier" in quite another way. (Written by Chuck Dixon and Scott Beatty)

Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns happened in 1986, and he talked about how Jason was a good soldier, before Jason was killed in the main universe (1988). So he's probably the first to use the word like that.

Jason's memorial has been seen both with and without the text A good soldier. Here's two panels with the inscription, from the same story arc written by Alan Grant. It's about how Tim is grappling with feeling worthy to be Robin, kind of. I think that's the first time we see the inscription, but I could be wrong.

Detective Comics # 618 (1990)

Batman vol 1 # 456 (1990)

In Batman vol 1 # 641 (2005, writer Judd Winick), Batman thinks about his dead soldiers.

And then in Batman and Robin Eternal # 22. Bruce explicitly says to Damian he never made a soldier (2016, writers James Tynion IV, Scott Snyder, Genevieve Valentine)

but in Batman vol 3 # 126 (writer Chip Zdarsky, 2022), Batman narrates "my soldiers come out", and it's about more people than the Robins.

I'm sure there are other examples (I don't follow Jason Todd comics, there's probably more to find there) but this is what I can find/remember right now.

[dollwritesarchive]

I'm so excited that you finally finished jjk omg! Also I feel you on not wanting to wait for the movie unfortunately I didn't get to see it when it was in theaters 😭 so we'll be watching it at the same time once it's on crunchyroll lol. Do you have any plans to read the manga btw? I'll be honest I don't like reading manga as much as watching anime so I would totally get it if you didn't, Its just that I feel like its gonna take them a while to catch up to the manga and I couldn't wait lol

Also the no hard limits 👀 you're an ✨inspiration✨ LOL but as someone that also doesn't have alot of hard limits I love that 🥰 I definitely think you fit in with some of the other jjk writers bc off the top of my head I'm pretty sure the most fucked up fic I've ever read was a sukuna fic lol like I've seen some people get WILD on here with sukuna and mahito. You know I'm just gonna throw this out there ik it's not for everyone but mahito with tentacles LOL just a thought that I cant get out of my head 👀

fr the day that I read the gb fic for mahitos group is the day that I ASCEND I will probably never recover from that ❤

Also I'm probably gonna finally start aot now that I know you're gonna write for it, you've given me the push I needed lol

Some more tiktoks for you 😘

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRydmgu7/?k=1

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRydx6q7/?k=1 STOP HES SO CUTE 😭

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRydFVjM/?k=1

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTRyd6gEp/?k=1

OMG YOU HAVENT SEEN IT EITHER? Then I’m very excited to hear all your thoughts on it once we watch it!! ❤️ I think Toge has the spiky hair in that? Which is honestly a fucking look

BUT it is gonna be weird not seeing Mahito 😭 my baby boy 😭😭

I don’t think I’ll read it; I don’t read much manga (I don’t have the time and brainpower DKDKKSK) ! The last one I read was funouhan which honestly, very underrated. If you like gore and horror and a sexy wicked man (which I know you do 🤪) definitely give that one a try too if you’ve the time! (But maybe don’t read it around folks because it’s pretty nsfw sometimes) I don’t think there’s an anime that accompanies it. I do think there’s a live action movie but I’ve never seen it. But let me just appreciate usobuki rq 🥰

IVE CONSIDERED MAHITO WITH TENTACLES. Here’s the thing is that I know he would manipulate his shape when you fucked like that’s just so obvious and he’d do it just to be cruel 😭 you’d be so overwhelmed by him already, and then he’s making you take another him in your ass or he doubles his size just to see it poke out of your belly THE MANS SO EVIL I LOVE HIM

The gb fic ideas I have MY BELOVEDS I really need to get on them because I can see them both so clearly in my head and they’re FILTH pure dark FILTH (poor reader, that’s what I’ll say. Poor thing trying to take them all 🥹)

OMG ??? DO YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME

Okay confession (justwhenithoughtisaidallicansaymychickonthesidesaidshegotoneontheway) AOT is, without question, without a shadow of a doubt, my favorite anime of all time. it took me a year after it came out to start it and I was hooked EVER SINCE. Levi Ackerman? My ultimate anime husband. If I had to pick one and only one, I’d choose him EVERY TIME. I would love love love to hear your reactions and thoughts about AOT when you watch it although I will say please power through season 1. It’s not bad but trust me it gets REALLY GOOD seasons 2 and 3.

YES MY TIKTOK FUEL

The gambling scene is still too much for me like mahito is so WHINY HE THROWS A TANTRUM

TOGE TRYING THE VERONICA TREND FIDKKDKD I would open the door before he even started singing I’m sorry but you are not getting away from me ❤️

Also just choso in general DAMN

That last tiktok… you know exactly what to show me. You UNDERSTAND the Doll Gaze ™️

SO SINCE YOU ALWAYS PROVIDE THE GOODS WITH THE JJK TIKTOKS (please keep them coming as much as you want 🥰 they’re all incredible) I would like to share some levi with you in hopes to convince you even more to watch aot !!

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRydCau1/?k=1

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRydVojy/?k=1

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRydbLgK/?k=1

ALSO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK watch it subbed. Do not get subjected to Levi’s blink 182 sounding voice in the dubbed version 💀

[hmslusitania]

So….I don’t really know who to talk to about this so I am bringing it to you. Just as a forewarning this is about Buck and Taylor - so if you’d like to keep this private, totally understand.

One of the things I’ve noticed during my 911 rewatch is that Bobby and Athena got together at the end of Season 1 and are still going strong. Maddie and Chimney got together at the end of Season 2, and excusing what Maddie is going through, they are still a couple. Which brings me to, Buck and Taylor getting together at the end of Season 4…if the writers and creators keep up on this trend, Baylor may be here to stay…HOWEVER, Taylor is not a main character (like Athena and Maddie), nor an integral recurring character (like May or Josh) so the same pattern doesn’t totally replicate.

It all depends on what they make her to be on the show. Right now, she’s a convenient player to voice civilians thoughts in the 911 universe not tied to the 118 or Athena. Karen some times is that but maybe that will be Taylor’s role. Not sure. I think if she becomes that full time, that may be a clue in regards to Buck and Taylor staying together…she has to be meaningful to their core group, able to stand on her own.

I like Taylor and I’d like her a whole lot more if she was just Buck’s friend. They’d have to redo her personality and make a lot of compromises on Buck’s behalf in order to make this work romantically long term, in my opinion. Which would cheapen what we know about both of them as people (to be fair, in Taylor’s case we don’t know much, but we do know is that she won’t give in to what anyone may expect of her if she doesn’t agree).

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

If season four had been at all normal I might have been concerned but like.

There is a 0% chance in my mind that Taylor is here to stay. I am largely indifferent to the character herself but its been years since Ive notp’d something as much as a hate bucktaylor.

If they wanted it to be a lasting relationship, 5.01 would’ve had a parallel to bathena snogging between the trucks in 2.01 or it would’ve had a parallel to Madney giggling about whether or not they’d ever have kids like they did in 3.01 and instead we got bucktaylor already wellllll past the honeymoon stage.

We got no joyous reunion at the end of a disaster like Bathena had in 2.03, we got Buck coming home to his empty apartment and being salty about it.

From what little we know of Taylor — and it is incredibly little — she’s always going to choose her job. Always. Its a done deal. And that’s fine! This is a valid choice for someone to make. Buck wants someone to go home to, and that’s never gonna be her.

There’s a story 9-1-1’s telling about love and mutual healing and finding someone who helps you be the best version of yourself, which we’ve (mostly) seen in the other canon couples that just … sure is not present in Buck’s current relationship. Like I kinda get your anxiety here, but the general audience can’t stand her, and like you said she’s nothing approaching a regular. She simply is not worth all the agonising and the fuss. It’s not a permanent relationship. Its gonna be okay.

[theladyismyshepard]

Ive seen some discourse recently over some fans being upset over Alcina and her daughters being overly sexualized. At first I sorta laughed because her explosion in popularity was bread from her being sexualized by the entire internet in the first place, but then I had a thought. Do you think now that fans are being called out for only seeing Lady D as Mommy Milkers then we're taking a step at being a real fandom and moving away from her just being the Tall Vampire lady meme? Or am I just overthinking this lol.

Honestly, I think that it is true that everyone had sexualized her and/or her daughters in some fashion when the game was FIRST revealed... That was how I even found out about this game if I’m being dead honest. Lady Dimitrescu was trending and I looked and I thought to myself, “Oh goddamn”, and from some of the racy fics out there (myself included) and some of the fanart, I’d say there were other people who had some less than pure thoughts about the Dimitrescus as well.

Now, do I believe that there are some people who solely came for the sexualization and only stayed for the sexualization? There might very well be! Just like there might be a whole fandom who came for how gorgeous the Dimitrescus were and it grew into actually loving and being fond of them and giving them personality! There are plenty of writers and fan artists who are giving the fandom some content after how upsetting canon was, so hopefully we can keep this hype and actually establish a fandom that people can feel is an actual fandom, not just some horndogs lol 😝

You aren’t wrong, anon, it’s something to actually consider: Is this a fandom, or have we become a harem all lusting over the same woman lolol? To put it plainly, this feels like a little safe space to me when I see all of the same blogs interacting and loving each other’s content and commenting. There might be the overly sexual people, but in my opinion, that’s their business, not mine, and I’m gonna stick to writing what I love even if we are are a “real” fandom or not by anyone else’s standards. We’re all in this fandom together, anon 👊

[honeypiehotchner]

Lost in a Crowd -- part thirteen

Hi again! This one is another written part :))

Bucky is waiting outside the library, as promised. He’s standing on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets, a long sleeve shirt covering his arms. I shove my disappointment at not being able to see his metal arm into the deep corners of my mind.

He sees me and smiles wide. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I exhale, gripping the strap on my bag. “Sorry for making you walk all the way over here, it’s just…” I shake my head, letting the words die out.

“I don’t mind,” he says first, which catches my attention. “But what is it?”

I look up into his eyes -- blue eyes like a stormy sea, the unwritten poem nags me -- and sigh. How is it that someone I hardly know can be so nice to me and so gentle and understanding? How is it that that’s even possible anymore?

I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly. “My ex has been lingering around lately. It’s probably nothing. I just feel like I’ve seen him a lot more than usual and it’s been creeping me out.” As if on cue, I shiver from head to toe. “Like I said, it’s probably nothing. It’s probably just because I didn’t see him all summer, so now whenever I see him it feels like it’s too much.” I pause, my gaze traveling back to Bucky’s eyes. They’re sad. “I overshare, too. Speaking of things that are happening too much.”

“I’m sorry,” he offers, his arms lifting slightly, but both hands remain in his pockets. “I’ve never had the issue of running into exes since all mine are probably dead.”

I chuckle at the thought, even though nothing about it is even remotely humorous. “Yeah.”

“But I’m sorry you’re seeing him around a lot,” Bucky continues. “I’m always here to walk you home, though. Or wherever.”

I smile gratefully. “Thank you. But I’d never ask you to do that.”

“Lucky for you, you’re not asking,” he teases. “But I know, just...if you ever need me. I’m here.”

“Thanks,” I murmur, my voice quiet out of shock. Bucky’s tone, it’s so...genuinely soft. He means every word, I can tell just by his face. I just never thought he’d be saying those words to me.

“We should probably start walking,” Bucky breaks through my thoughts as usual. “Before they start getting suspicious.”

I roll my eyes, a laugh bubbling out of my chest. “They’re already suspicious. And I could use some coffee. You?”

He shrugs again, nodding his head. “Lead the way.”

I begin walking toward the Tower because I know for a fact we’ll pass a few places on the way there. Bucky keeps the same pace as I do, walking next to me with his hands tucked away. I let my arm swing free, until I accidentally smack him with it, and then I keep it close to my torso. Neither of us mention me smacking him, but I see him smirking.

Annoyingly attractive ass. Maybe that’ll be his code name. Triple A.

I chuckle at the idea. My friends and I in high school used to have code names for the boys we liked. Bringing that trend back around all these years later might not be a bad idea.

“Ah, here we go,” I duck inside the first coffee shop we come across. Bucky follows behind me, holding the door open for a woman who is exiting with a tray of four coffees. The sight makes me smile.

Bucky stands close to me in line and I’m more than aware of everyone looking at us. I make no move to mention it, though. I’m sure he’s also noticed, so speaking of it won’t help anything.

“Should I get triple espresso instead of double?” I ask, mostly talking to myself.

But Bucky’s eyes go wide. “Are you sure you need that much caffeine?”

“Oh wow,” I roll my eyes. “Don’t lecture me about my caffeine intake, please.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he replies easily, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

As I’m tearing my eyes away from his lips I hear the door to the shop opening, and because the universe decided today is just my lucky day, my ex boyfriend walks in.

“Dear God,” I mutter, looking away quickly and praying that the fact that I have a superhero standing next to me will knock enough common sense into my ex to not come talk to me.

“What?” Bucky asks, concern lacing his words. “What’s wrong?”

The line moves up, but not fast enough, because there are still three people in front of us, which gives fuckhead here the perfect window to speak.

“Lilith, is that you?”

I’d like to die. Right now.

Bucky’s head turns along with mine to meet the voice that just spoke. “Hi,” I say shortly, hoping to scare him away.

“Who are you?” Oh, great, now Bucky’s joining in.

“I’m Tyler,” my ex says, sticking his hand out. “And you are?” He says it as if he still has the authority to dictate who I hang out with and speak to. Asshole.

Bucky shakes Tyler’s hand with his metal one, and it’s no doubt on purpose. “Bucky,” he says. “Barnes.”

“The Winter Soldier,” Tyler exclaims, probably a little too loudly. “Goddamn.”

“Just Bucky will do,” Bucky says firmly.

The line moves again and we move with it. Bucky discreetly moves to put himself at an angle, so his body is between me and Tyler. I’m not sure if he even notices it, but the action alone makes my heart warm.

“You didn’t tell me you knew the Avengers,” Tyler laughs in disbelief, his head shaking as he stares at Bucky beside me. “What a small world.”

“Small world?” I scoff. “Last I heard, you thought the world was so big and I was the one holding you back and making it seem small.”

“Come on, Lilith,” Tyler says. “I made an honest mistake.”

The line moves again. “An honest mistake?” I nearly laugh. “By cheating on me twice? With different women? I think the biggest mistake was me ever forgiving you.”

Bucky keeps his body between us and I’d give anything to bury myself in his chest right now and to have Tyler disappear into thin air.

“Come on, I said I was sorry.”

“And I said I never wanted to speak to you again,” I remind him hotly. “Please respect that.”

“Lilith--”

“She said she never wants to speak to you again,” Bucky interrupts Tyler at lightning speed. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll walk out of here right now.”

Tyler flounders for a moment, but after Bucky takes one step toward him, he’s backing away. He’s out of the shop and down the sidewalk by the time it’s our turn to order.

“Hey,” I smile at the cashier, desperate for some sense of normalcy. “Can I get a medium latte?”

She nods, typing it in. “What else?” She looks to Bucky.

“Uh, a black coffee, medium. Please.”

I move to dig my wallet out of my bag, but Bucky swipes his damn card before I can even register what’s happening.

“It’ll be ready in a sec,” the cashier smiles.

“Thanks…” I step to the side, waiting for Bucky to join me before I say, “You didn’t have to pay for me.”

“Consider it a comfort gift for the bullshit you just had to endure.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Thanks. I can’t believe he was stupid enough to do that.”

“He still loves you,” Bucky says quietly.

“Yeah, well, tough shit,” I reply with a shrug. “He shouldn’t have cheated on me twice, then. And I never should’ve forgiven him for the first one, anyway.”

“With different women?” Bucky questions.

“Mhm,” I nod. “The second was my roommate.”

Bucky is quiet. “Jesus.”

“Yep,” I say. “It’s why I live alone now.”

The barista slides our drinks across the counter with a smile. Bucky gets to them first, handing my latte to me with a soft smile.

“Thanks,” I return the expression. “For both things,” I add quietly when we’re outside. “For the coffee and dealing with my ex.”

“Nothing you need to thank me for,” he shrugs. “I’m sorry I kind of had to threaten him. I didn’t want it to come to that, but man he wasn’t backing down.”

Are you kidding? It was hot. But I don’t say that. “Yeah. Yeah, he always had this stupid complex that he could get what he wanted when he wanted it. He used to tell me I couldn’t hang out with friends because we were going to have a ‘romantic night out,’” I use air quotes and laugh. “But he always canceled -- and then he’d get mad at me for it. I swear.”

Bucky shakes his head. “He sounds like a fucking nightmare.”

“Nightmare doesn’t cover it, honestly,” I reply. I take a sip of my latte, the caffeine rushing straight through me. “Alright, I just told you about my disaster of a love life. How’s yours?”

“Mine?” Bucky says through a laugh. “You’re kidding.”

“Do I look like I am?” I raise an eyebrow. “Come on, we’ve got a few minutes, more if we walk slow. Spill.”

Bucky slows his pace without hesitation. I follow suit, muffling my smile with another sip of my coffee.

“Alright, well, every woman I went out with in the 40s is dead now or so old they probably don’t remember, and every woman from this era seems to go running in the other direction, so…” He pauses, looking over at me, his eyes glinting with humor. “I think mine’s also a disaster.”

“I don’t know...They didn’t look like they were running away to me…”

His eyebrows furrow. “When?”

“In the coffee shop,” I explain. “In fact, I think they all looked like they wanted to kill me so they could have you for themselves.”

“What--” Bucky shakes his head. “Never mind.”

“I’m serious!”

“Okay, well, even if they were, I wouldn’t let them touch you,” he replies gently, but there’s a great deal of seriousness in his words. “You know you’re the first woman I’ve gotten coffee with since the 40s.”

“Did you still drink that cup of the bitter void in the 40s?” I tease.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I did,” he chuckles, taking a pointed sip of his coffee. “Have you always liked espresso this much? You might as well get an IV at this point.”

“You know, I’ve thought about it,” I say seriously. “But no, my coffee addiction started when I started college. A writer never sleeps.”

Bucky tilts his head, pointing at me with his cup. “I’m not sure that’s healthy.”

Something about his adorable expression and stupid grandpa humor has me speechless and without a witty comeback. My only response is to shove his shoulder, which causes him to grin like a madman.

This time when my arm smacks his, he catches it, hooking mine through his.

And nothing has ever felt more right.

[luluwantskisses]

I've been thinking about this all day and I realized just what a tough job it is to write skam France's season 5 truly is, and this isn't going to be all praises and or all bash, feel free to scroll away, these are just personal opinions after I had some time to revisit a few of my favorite clips from s6 (and anyone who follows me knows I've had opinions this season)

Okay, so first, let's talk audience. Skam France is a remake, specifically, it is the first out of 7 remakes, it's a fandom that has 8 versions of the same show and unlike, say, the office, the fandom between these remakes may not be a perfect circle, it overlaps far more than any other remakes ive ever encountered. So step 1, there's been very little"surprises" for years now. These structures are very predicable, fans can anticipate hell week and reunions and breakups like a seasoned farmer predicting yield. And who led the way in all this? The french version, and fans of the show are people who had time to get used to the idea of a remake, and had time to watch other remakes grow. A lot of people either watched the original, or went back and watched the original, especially the international audiences. So here's audience 1,fans who loves the original, or even other remakes, and want to see more of it. They look at s5, look at the show that started this remake trend, and sees it as an og revival, the closet they'll get to the gang coming back together sorta way.

Next, there's no way around this, but skamfr blew up with season 3, and full disclosure, i am one of those people. So we get drawn in and Elu is just beautifully written, I've never seen a story like theirs before, and it's sadly representation that I've been craving. And i go back and watched the other seasons and good or bad, skam has tackled some hard to swallow pills in their seasons. So here's audience 2, people who came and stayed for good representation, who saw what they related to and stayed to watch what other people might relate to, and the skam format is just so good at getting you inside someone's head, it's easy to walk a mile in someone's shoes.

So s5 picked a really, really good topic. We learned right off the bat our main has health problems, and I've never seen many main characters with disabilities before (full metal alchemist is the only one that comes to mind). And we get to discover his journey navigating a world where not everything is catered to suit him anymore, where his disabilities will be a constant reminder as he goes through even the little tasks in life. And the show did some amazing clips, first with the 7am ones all in a row, we are so feeling the denial, the anger, and then this shame. I also love the clip when Arthur first visit the association, and he claps, but everyone else does jazz hands. It's a small thing but shows how different things are and how much he still has to learn. It's truly a community, with its own customs and culture. Another scene I loved is how his interactions with le gang progressed. Le gang went from ignoring his new disability like nothings happening, to joking about his ears, and they had this teaching moment with the boys choosing a dark, overstimulated activity, laser tag, and not fully considering Arthur's POV. This causes tension with friends and Arthur isolated himself for a weekend. Le gang reacts by lying and getting caught and chewed out. This is all so perfect and I loved the growth and how real everyone was. Arthur calling them out? Perfect 👌

And then things starts to deviate from what audience 1 and 2 wants. See, if this show aired on the CW, no one would bat an eye at the love triangle, but the first 6 episodes were set up so well, and there was this foreshadowing of his dad's abuse, his dissatisfaction with his career choice, but the story pivots, ignoring who they're showing this to.

Audience 1 has their bar set on a show that sparked the most remakes in history in 3 short years, that is quite the pedestal to live up to. Audience 1 hasn't had a surprise in years and this is a brand new thing, naturally people would want to stick to what they loved before, and what people loved before was how different show is, how refreshingly they approached certain tough topics.

Audience 2 treats the show like it's an educational show, it's not what we see on the CW or abcfamily or any other teen dramas hollywood churns out at a dime a dozen, therefore this love triangle? It's conforming to the same things we get everywhere else and that's the most condemning thing to audience 2. So now, unless you came to s5 with a fresh mindset and don't fall into either of the above groups, you suddenly feel betrayed, this is not what you had been promised, even if the show had made no promises. so what could've been treated as a minor seasonal slump turns into a lot of anger and hate. I'm not saying the format of instant gratification, or the wild rumors that ran around didn't escalate things, but this was a very specific, very demanding audience the writers had to write for, and unfortunately, they took an easy route, and lost some of the key ingredients that made their audience love them in the first place.

Wow you probably didn't read all the way here, that was a lot of rambling, cheers

[program-800]

Exploring D:BH Fics (Part 9)

D:BH CHARACTER PROMINENCE IN THE ACTUAL GAME VS AO3 FICS

Which characters are relatively more prominent in canon and are they the same ones prominent in the fandom? I tried my hand at answering that question (quantitatively) and the graph above is the result.

I sorted the graph by prominence in fandom (i.e., percent of character tags received). The graph is meant to act as a rough gauge to identify characters that may have gotten (or lost) prominence when moving from canon to fandom material. The specific percentage numbers between the two sources (canon/fandom) are not directly comparable since prominence had to be operationalised differently between the two sources (all details under the cut). x Interactive versions of all graphs presented (so you can see the numbers clearly, etc) available on my Github page (link in description/tumblr heading!).

Usually I split the methods write-up from the results, but this time I’ll keep them together, again, because the process and assumptions made are especially important for this analysis (for starters, how was prominence even operationalised in canon/fandom material?).

Other work: I - II - III - IV - V - VI - VII - VIII

Before I go into the methods, two questions to think about:

1) There are a lot of ways to talk about the prominence of a character - how many times did they appear (and what counts as an appearance; just walking across the street, or actually being the focus of action)? How much screen-time did they get? How many lines did they say? How many times their name appeared or they were referred to? Maybe even how much influence they had over events?

2) If we’ve settled on an answer for (1), how do we compare that between different mediums? D:BH is a game and fics are, well, mainly text.

These were questions I thought a lot about before proceeding. In the end, I settled for rather simplistic operationalisations. For the actual game, I relied on the dialogue transcriptions from the Detroit: Become Text project. For fics, I relied on the character tags provided by the AO3 authors.

1. D:BH ACTUAL GAME DIALOGUE Dataset: Some people have done wonderful work transcribing most of the dialogue in the actual D:BH game (please see Detroit: Become Text on Github!). I worked with all the material they had - 4728 lines of dialogue.

1.1 Preprocessing Everything was in HTML so it was a simple task of writing some code to pull out the character names and counting the number of dialogue lines each individual had. x Assumption 1: Share of dialogue is indicative of character prominence in the game. I decided on this mainly because I was limited by the information I had (D:BT almost fully transcribes dialogue only) and also because D:BH is a very conversation-heavy game. x Assumption 2: Sometimes characters might be interchangeable for certain lines, e.g. Josh or Simon can tell Markus, “Be careful, Markus. Our people need you.” I chose to drop these lines and not assign them to any character’s count since there were only 15 of them in the whole transcription. x Assumption 3: The game has multiple scenarios based on your choices. I chose not to distinguish between them, taking the whole transcription as a long text document. My justification is that if the writers decided a character was important enough to have/be in several variants of the scenario (think Connor’s multiple endings versus, maybe, the android Markus picked up paint from), I should not discount that.

Following this, I selected 40 named characters (i.e., no random policeman/passer-bys) for visualisation and comparison. These 40 characters together had 3745 transcribed lines.

1.2 Results

Note the percentage is calculated from the lines of these 40 characters only (i.e., does not cover dialogue counts of unnamed policemen, unnamed deviants, etc).

Connor, Kara, and Markus take up almost 50% together. I think Markus has slightly less lines than Connor and Kara since it’s possible for North to take his place. Fan favourites like Gavin hold only a tiny sliver of the pie. Note that according to this operationalisation of prominence, RK900 is at 0% (since he doesn’t say anything in-game).

2. CHARACTER TAGS FROM D:BH AO3 FICS Dataset: 13,933 English-language fics scraped from AO3, spanning May 2018 to mid Oct- 2019.

2.1 Preprocessing I collated all the tags that fell under the AO3 character class (61333 tags). I did a fair bit of manual cleaning as usual (for misspellings, different ways to tag a character, etc). x (Long) assumption: Picking out dialogue lines from fic and attributing it correctly to characters is an extremely difficult task (I think I've seen machine learning papers on it). So, I chose to go with tags - I assumed that characters that are important or at the very least more than a one-liner would receive a tag. At the same time, I assumed that characters that are really just one-liner appearances (like “He saw Nines walk across the room.” with zero mention of Nines in the rest of the fic) would not get tagged.

Clearly this is not foolproof since everyone has different ideas of what constitutes a character that should be tagged, but it’s what I worked with (otherwise I would have to read and check every fic). Stuff to note:

1) Ambiguous tags like “everyone” were not assigned to any character. 2) Tags that mentioned multiple characters (e.g “mentioned North and Josh”) or ships were also not assigned to any character. 3) Tags that were in the style of “Connor (mentioned)” were still added to their respective characters. Again, I think most writers have varying ideas of what a “mention” actually means, so I decided to be less stringent and more inclusive here. 4) Tags for ‘Jericho’  and ‘Jericrew’, etc - I added 0.25 to the counts of Markus, North, Simon, and Josh each time such a tag appeared. Whether I did that or not probably wouldn’t have drastically changed the results though, since there were only 87~ Jericho-related character tags.

I picked out the same 40 named characters I looked at from the actual game dialogue. These 40 characters together had received 53274 tags.

2.2 Results

Again, note the percentage is calculated from the total number of times these 40 characters were tagged (e.g., does not include tag counts for OCs - which were tagged quite a bit as well).

We see Connor still holding on to his share and huge jumps from Gavin and RK900. DPD members in general also seem to have slightly bigger slices of the pie in fandom.

3. Ending notes It’s pretty difficult to see some of the information from the two pie charts, so I put the information from both into the bar chart that I introduced this whole post with:

I can’t emphasise enough that the exact percentage numbers between canon/fandom are not directly comparable since prominence had to be operationalised differently. Nonetheless, I think the chart does capture a trend that reflects my reading experience. Now I just need more spare time/need to kidnap some data minions  so I can work on a more rigorous and direct comparison.

[autisticstarseed]

if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀

ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;

💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?

hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed

💎- What was your favorite part?

osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least

⛰️-  What was the hardest part?

THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig

🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?

BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone

🏟️- Who was your intended audience?

mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]

🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)

🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?

kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode

🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?

:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing

📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?

i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️

☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?

8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,

✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?

yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters

☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?

o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist

📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?

probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe

💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?

oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))

✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?

hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;

“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “

📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?

AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce

🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?

isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,

🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all

TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )

[igotablankpage]

Writer all for one- supporting writers everywhere!

So, @eternalwritingstudent brought up a great point about support in the writeblr community, and lack thereof.

Putting your work out there is hard enough. But when you don’t get any response it can get really disheartening. Yes I know we’re not entitled to people’s likes and reblogs but when it happens it’s such a motivating feeling- something which isn’t seen or emphasised enough on this platform.

The writing community has always been about helping and supporting and motivating other writers, and that is trending downwards on tumblr. And I want to try and change that.

So I’m starting a #writerallforone - where writeblrs of all age and popularity can work together to support everyone and not just a select few.

I’ve opened my submissions for this very reason, and I hope other writeblrs will do the same. So if you have a piece of writing, a mood board or artwork etc you want to share, submit it (following guidelines,) and I’ll queue it up for you.

I’m also starting a #writeblrff - writeblr follower Friday, where you tag your favourite writeblrs for others to follow.

Will this get many notes? I don’t believe it will. But if even a few writeblrs join me, then we can start to make a difference. Please let me know if you would like to join me!

Please reblog to spread the word!

[emybain]

you know,,,a trend ive seen quite a bit on here and even on other sites is that the longer a content creator (artist, writer, etc) makes stuff, the less amount of comments or (in tumblrs case) reblogs their content gets. like when you first start out, there's all this encourgement and support and comments and etc from your fandom, but as time goes on and you continue making content, those same people who used to reblog and comment and encourage you to make more only now like your content, maybe reblog if they're feeling generous.

im not talking about myself, although ive noticed it with my own works too. i see it with my mutuals, who are all incredibly talented and deserve comments and reblogs to the max, as well as with bigger accounts i follow.

im not saying im innocent, either. sometimes i will forget to leave a comment in the tags of someones fic or art or whatever. i am trying to be better about it though because i know how it feels when i recieve nothing more than a like on a fic.

let me also say, in conclusion, that if you dont really feel like reblogging and/or leaving a comment (especially leaving a comment!!!!), then you better start looking elsewhere for fandom content. creators thrive on feedback and encourage it so much. if we dont get anything, it tells us that what we make clearly isn't appreciated, so why bother posting anymore? when that may not be the case. someone's art may be loved so much by another, but the latter didnt reblog or comment, so the artist will never know that they had a supporter.

just,,,yall,,,im not saying you have to leave comments on everything. im saying if you like something enough to where you may want more, then leave comments!! reblog!! share it!! don't discourage the creator!!

thank u for coming to my ted talk

[afewmarvelousthoughts]

Stay Ch. 16

Master List

Pairing: Natasha X Reader (Female)

Summary: You have a gift, the ability to see other people’s innermost secrets. For years you used it to gather intel for the highest bidder when you take on The Widow. After she becomes more than a mark the two of you spend years stealing moments. Post snap you wait in your designated meeting place, look back on the sordid past you share with the woman you love and hope against everything that she’s still alive.

Warnings: Angst, and fluff, and feels oh my!

A/N:  So yeah I swear I wroth an authors note for this... but idfk what happened. 

ANYWAY! Thank you all for being so patient while I got my life together. This one is also short and sweet (guess that’s the mood I’m in). However, y’all should know me by now. This is just the calm before the storm. 

Hope you enjoy this one my pumpkins! 

Tags are open!

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March 2007

At some point in the last five months, you’d stopped recognizing yourself. The woman in the mirror wasn’t Y/N. Her hair was different, down to even the eyebrows. Her accent distinctly that of a life long Londoner. She worked for an independent UK couture fashion magazine, chose wine over whiskey, and was distinctly heterosexual.

When the chance to work this job requiring deep cover came up in December you jumped on it. You didn’t want to be you anymore. The you that couldn’t be with the woman you loved. The you that was heartbroken. The you who was beginning to doubt that you’d ever be happy. Fuck her.

Being Charlie Daniels was far better. She was, of course, a real person. Just one who was now living comfortably in the Bahamas courtesy of MI6. Even legit agencies had use of freelance talent every now and then.

Settling into her life had been easy. Not setting her boss on fire or blowing his brains out daily was a different task altogether. Turned out that a magazine was a great front for a crime empire. Lots of international travel, young and beautiful and desperate men and women, money exchanged in countless untraceable ways, on and on. And this fucker was happy to take advantage of every single disgusting avenue it opened up.

You almost had everything you needed to hand to MI6, get your obscenely large payout, and get on to another gig while they threw all of these bastards into cells to rot for the rest of their miserable lives. Just one more trip. After whatever horrible things they lay out in Tokyo you’ll be set.

Tokyo is one of those cities you can lose yourself in. Like New York but better for its interesting balance of vibrancy and grounded reserve. You absolutely love it.

The whole point of the trip, at least on the surface, was to focus on Fashion Week Tokyo. Honestly, there was a part of you that wished this was your world. Nothing but runway shows and after parties. Writing about the latest trends rather than delving into the inner workings of the worlds miscreants

Oh well. It was nice enough to pretend. You had to admit that you’d miss Charlie Daniels once you shed this skin in a couple of weeks.

You’re sitting two people down from your boss at an underground show. The level of security here screams that there are other things going on behind the scenes but it’s still a room filled with a who’s who of the Japanese and international fashion communities.

This was your third show of the day, and you knew there would be a party after where you’d have to schmooze all while plucking information from your unsuspecting fellow guests. You’re exhausted. So rather than pay much attention to the show you let your mind wander.

When she walks out you feel her rather than see her.  Slowly you turn your head to stare dumbstruck at the model walking onto the catwalk. Your heart begins beating against your ribs, your mouth goes dry, your hands shake.

It takes every ounce of control you have to keep your emotions in. To not scream “Natasha!” at the top of your lungs. To not grab her and run for the hills. Charlie Daniels and her easy life be damned. It’s hard but you manage.

As she turns and comes back down, passing now closer to you, her eyes don’t graze  the crowd at all. Head up, shoulders back, she walks the runway like she’d been doing it for years.

The rest of the show is maybe ten minutes but it feels like years. You know the models are all attending the party. Eye candy for the high end guests.

It’s fairly easy to ditch your coworkers in the crowd as you try to find the best vantage point in the room without being too obvious. After a solid twenty minutes, you find yourself planning an escape route. Most of the models are milling about but she’s no where to be seen. You will find her.

But you know you can’t skip out just yet. At the bar, you order a red wine and make yourself seen. Charlie would never miss the whole party after all. You spend a bit chatting with designers and a few models, feigning interest in the whole thing until you hear your boss call out to you.

“Oy, Charlie!” Carl’s voice alone makes you want to put him down. When you turn he’s waving you over to the bar. Sighing heavily you head over.

You’re about ten feet away when you see her, head back laughing at something Carl or his friend had said. Both men are far to close to her for your liking and the hungry look on Carl’s face sets your blood boiling.

He slings an arm around your shoulders and you carefully coach your face to not show disgust. “Charlie here is my best writer. Doin’ some pieces for us on this whole thing,” he waves his other hand around wildly.

“Good to meet ya, Charlie, I’m Dan,” the other man, clearly American says.

“Likewise,” Natasha doesn’t react to the accent at all.

“This here is-”

“Natalie,” Natasha cuts him off, extending a hand to you. Holding her eyes with yours you take it. It’s like touching a live wire.

“Natalie is an American model working here in Japan. May be a good topic for a piece.” He ribs you leaning closer, “And a good piece for the office eh?” Suddenly that MI6 money seems far less appealing.

“I’d love that,” Natasha beams. “Why don’t you guys go mingle and Charlie and I can chat!” The men exchange a glance, but there’s plenty of fresh meat around to sink their teeth into.

Carl flashes you a greasy smile and a wink as he walks away. Thinking clearly that you’re going to snare this woman for him. You, unfortunately, had a few others. Not something you were proud of. Demands of the job you told yourself.

“She’ll take a vodka neat,” you tell the bartender.

“Yes,” Natasha smiles at him, “Whiskey for her. Makers if you have it.” He thinks nothing of it and makes your drinks.

“So, how’s modeling in Japan?”

“Probably about as good as writing for a sleazy jackal.”

You laugh, “That bad? What’s the goal.”

“Getting a cover,” you commend the clever word play.

“That’s a good goal. Long term?”

“Something like that.” She takes a sip of her vodka, “How long are you here?”

“End of the week.” Your skin itches to touch her. The men are rounding back. You hold her gaze and shift your eyes back to them. She catches on.

“Perfect! It’s so hard to have a good interview here, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely. Why don’t you come by my hotel?” You whip out your spare key card. “I’d love to get your story for the mag, maybe do a full feature.”

“A feature would be excellent exposure!”

“Wouldn’t it?” Carl slides up next to her. “We can get you all the exposure you could want Ms. Natalie.”

“Charlie was telling me all about it.” She flashes him a coy smile. “Thank you so much Charlie! I forgot I have a late fitting tonight for another show so I’ve got to run. But we’ll chat soon yeah?”

“Absolutely! It was so good to meet you Natalie.”

“Same! Bye!” She hurries through the crowded room and disappears.

“Busy girl.” Carl quips. “Whiskey?” You look down at the glass by your hand.

“Some guy sent them over,” you gesture to Natasha’s lipstick stained glass. “Seemed rude to refuse. Can’t stand the stuff though.”

“That’s a mans drink,” Carl laughs at his own perceived joke and you force a smile.

Somehow you make it through the rest of the evening. You’d refused to allow yourself to hope that she’d be here, too obvious to come the same night, better to wait. Kicking off your shoes you head straight to the mini bar and crack open a whiskey, downing it in one gulp.

“You really need to be more careful,” Natasha’s voice comes from the bathroom. “I mean not even checking around. Sloppy.”

“Charlie Daniels doesn’t have to check for Russian assassins in her bathroom,” a smile pulls your face so tight it hurts.

“Well, Natalie Rushman isn’t a Russian spy. So…”

You let your real accent resurface as you pull her into your arms, “Natalie Rushman, I don’t know if that’s clever or lazy.” She kisses you hard, tongue sliding over your lips hands gripping your ass.

“Mmm,” she hums. “Kinda like the accent.”

“Oh?” You revert to the clipped posh Londoner sound. “Would you rather be with Charlie? I hate to break it to you, she’s strictly into dick so you may need to get a bit creative.”

Natasha’s head falls back with laughter, “I’m always into a challenge but,” she cups your face in her hands, “I’d much rather Y/N, she’s got a cute accent too.” Your kiss is soft this time, “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, honey.” Gently you push a strand of hair out of her face. “Is this smart? Are you gonna get-”

“I’m good. I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was risk.” She pulls away and tugs you toward the bed. “There’s no surveillance on me here, I check in every week, that’s it. This is strictly to build a cover.”

“Cover for what?” She gives you a sideways glance. “Right. National security.”

“Do you really want to talk about work?”

Smirking at her you push her back on the bed. “Maybe later.”

You lean down to her but she stops you by planting a strappy heel in the center of your chest. Trailing your fingers down her leg you snag a knife from her thigh holster. Carefully you slide the blade under the straps, the incredibly sharp edge cuts through the thin suede like it’s nothing.

“Those were very expensive you know,” eyes sparkling with desire.

You slip the shoe off and toss it aside. “I’ll buy you a new pair.” Your lips press against her ankle.  

Everything in your life until her was so fleeting. Even your own name, the sound of your own voice, who you were… But with her, you were grounded. You weren’t anything but her’s, you were Y/N.

Suddenly you’re overwhelmed. Caressing her muscular calf you just stare at her eyes. Emerald green, dark liner, lids heavy with lust and exhaustion.

“Natasha…” Your voice cracks and you fight for composure.

“Y/N? What is it?” She shoots up, cradling your face in her hands.

You shake your head, unable to really find the words and unwilling to send this storm of emotions to her. “I just…” You cover her hands with your own. It’s not that you don’t want her, you do. But…

“Can we just… I just wanna hold you…” Her expression immediately softens, eyes sparkling a touch with tears. “Sorry… I… I just…”

“I’d love that, baby.” Tenderly her lips brush yours, then your cheeks, your forehead, your eyelids as they flutter closed.

You shed your clothes and crawl into the plush bed. Holding tight to one another you spend hours drifting in and out of sleep, covering the other with soft kisses. Before the sun rises your hands wander southward.

This time you don’t fuck one another senseless. It feels like you’re trying to memorize every curve, every sound, every subtle thing that marks being together. You both know you many not get to do this for some time. The knowledge aches but it doesn’t make having her any less sweet.

Post Snap

You lean your head back on the wall behind the booth. The crying man from last night is gone, you find yourself hoping that he’s resting peacefully somewhere… even though you know it’s pointless to hope for such things.

There are more people filling the bar than there was before. The TVs are off, radios turned up, reporters frantically trying to determine what happened. It was global, that was clear. All planes grounded, trains stopped, communications spotty due to damaged cell towers.

A man speaks frantically to someone who seems to be a friend that he was heading to Nuremberg from Budapest, how the roads are almost not navigable. He doesn’t know if his family is even still there but he has to find out.

Despite his distress, your lips curl a bit at the mention of Budapest.

[fireeaglespirit]

@fireeaglespirit @viviane-lefay i do worry sometimes with the stories I write if things might be too much for you. To be fair I dont think in any fanfic Ive ever written anything too explicit but now Im so conscious of other people’s viewpoints and being inclusive that it is a concern. Ultimately I write what I want to/need to but I am aware it might not be for all tastes hence always trying to follow ratings etc.

Replying here so it doesn’t cause any problems with OP, etc..

Ohh. I’m sorry if this worried you.. tbh this was very random and I wasn’t even thinking about fiction when I rb this. This one reminded me of a few times I went out with friends and colleagues and I just felt starkly asexual, lmao

About my tolerance regarding sex and explicitly in fiction, I’ll be honest with you…

There’s hardly anything I could say I wouldn’t read about. I just don’t feel ‘triggers’ or anything of the sort, no hard feelings when it gets to fiction and I value your will to be conscious of other viewpoints but its practically impossible to cater to all tastes like you said, so don’t worry about it much… there’s always someone out there who will feel offended and others who will fiercely love it.

As for myself, I’m very tolerant to sexual content in fiction, idk? I don’t seek it out particularly but its not a deal breaker either.

I know some asexual people are less tolerant, I usually just get a ‘meh’ feeling whenever those subjects are touched in much detail, idk some works do get nasty and bothersome because of much detail involving sexual practices so I just give up on them or put them aside when they bring me no joy but I gladly consume material with sex on it as long as I like some aspects of it. Also, I’m good at ignoring or glossing over things I don’t like in fiction… when I read explicit scenes with intercourse it does nothing to me and my eyes focuses on the sentences I loved such as regarding the feelings between the characters and subtle interactions instead of the physical/carnal aspects of it, and this makes it all worthy it.

Even so, some works might become overwhelmingly depressive or repulsive so I might put them aside even if I enjoyed an aspect of it or I might just skip through them and this happened recently to a series of fantasy books I tried to read which were actually really good but they were so overwhelmingly and unnecessarily dark and had an horrid oppressive atmosphere towards women an sex so I just felt no joy reading them? Its not like I was traumatized by its tone but it felt like a chore and I couldn’t care about it further and no character inspired me whatsoever that the world could change for the better, so I dropped them.

But its not like I’m judging it, I just feel weirded out to some things and I just imagine the kind of mind that takes upon themselves the chore to write a whole series of book which has nothing but suffering and misery in them, especially concerning women, lol. We already had this shit in history and still have in some places in the world so I kinda feel like its not interesting for me to read about it in a fictional setting, especially if I don’t feel like the writer is going to challenge the setting.

But I’m aware most people are much more sensitive… these things can be horrid for those who are more sensitive, and perhaps my own asexuality protects me from feeling it fully as I don’t even think of myself as a being capable of partaking in this (weird, I know), so I have problem even projecting.

But I did felt really strongly for the way women were oppressed absurdly and had their agency completely obliterated, so that sparked a sort of empathy or kinship in me which made progress in such book a chore…

You got my point and this just illustrates a bit my relationship to fiction and things that irk me since you were interested in my opinion… I have another example of fantasy book with lots of sex in it:

I read asoiaf even thought its full of sexual stuff but I don’t feel joy at these parts, yet the work is so good on other themes that I ignore it for the most part… but even so, recently I’ve read F&B and it was kinda overwhelming on the sexist aspect with myriads of female characters turned into child brides and raped and dying at their childbirth repeatedly it just got very tiresome and repetitive near the end, because there where almost no counterpoints to it, unlike in the main series where the situation is dire for women but we have characters challenging it more often and idk. F&B just lacked on that front.

So, this shows a bit my sensitivity towards sex is more related to sexism and the feeling that women are confined to their reproductive aspects: motherhood, childbearing, marriage, sensuality, etc.. I don’t have a problem with sexual intercourse per se as you can see, but that’s from my unique point of view and I know some asexuals are more repulsed towards it, but you asked my opinion…

So, if its consensual sex: its not my cup of tea but I don’t feel like its a deal breaker…

Just to give you a positive sex example: when I see an OTP of mine getting to the point of having sex I think its pretty sweet, like when Jon and Dany consummated their love on that boat… I was happy for them, for all that it means, the symbolism between the union of ice and fire and just two characters which I love dearly, finding happiness and comfort in each other. What’s not to love about it??

This is a rare stance I can say I saw a pair I ship get to that point xD

I love shipping as you know, but its more about the psychological aspects and potential for character development and even when I’m reading fanfic about my OTPs I enjoy more the angst and symbolism than the ‘hot’ parts which usually just makes me go ‘meh’ (again).

So this makes me say: when sex is the focus of works I could feel like I’m too asexual for this, even if it regards an OTP, it just doesn’t have a very exciting effect on me or I’m not explicitly interested in this part of a relationship, when so many other things caught my eye… sometimes subtle interactions and dialogue and and gentle approximation (touches, caresses, kissing, etc..) is so much more exciting for me to read about than the ‘thing’ itself, lol.

To sum it up: when its there just for p*rn or even worse, shock value it just makes me go ‘meh’ or ‘ugh’ or ‘uhh why am I even reading this?’

This reminds me of Vivi’s take on the ‘hiero gamos’, in this case I just say I might even enjoy the theme as long as the scenes involving sex are meaningful and passionate and the aspect I value the most about them are sublime and platonic instead of carnal but I’m aware the carnal aspects are very important for the characters and the audience so I also worry when I get to show my stories people will think they lack sexual content ^^  I get you.

Now that you know my feelings towards sex in fiction, to a broader sense I just wanted to say..

There’s no way to guess people’s sensitives but it doesn’t mean you need to walk on eggshells afraid to trigger people all the time, hell no! I’m all for freedom of creation. At least around me there are no metaphorical ‘eggshells’.

Everyone has their own set of opinions which makes them unique, not just me, I mean…  even so I will let my snowflake syndrome show but I’m quite peculiar if you could say, so I sort of grew a strong ‘carapace’ towards the world as I deal with people with completely different views and values on a daily basis which might make me have inflamed political opinions while at the same time, I’m very flexible and forgiving when it comes to fiction in general.

I don’t expect much of the population to be like this so I’m also self conscious when it gets to writing my own stuff because I know people can feel very strongly about it and you’ve seen the way fandom reacts to minor things and bash creators when they perceive flaws in their work… I’m just not a judgmental person, its not in my nature. I just ignore things in fiction if I don’t like and I became even more relaxed over time in regards to this all, lol I nearly reached a ‘nirvana’ as I don’t even feel strongly negative feelings in regard to this.

Snarky and bitter comments from time to time? Yes… but no hard feelings. RL needs my hatred, lol so I don’t have it to spare with fiction any longer.

Anyway, on an unrelated sub note… as you might have noticed, I don’t feel comfortable about current fandom trends and specially policing, and with reason as this gets very serious and quick with literally ‘wave chain reactions’ of hatred sparked apparently from nowhere. I hope people could create more freely instead of the political correct police and restraining of creativity we have now. It was good for a while and I’m all for diversity and change in status quo (for the better), but I think this has gone too far and I perceive a lot of rigidity in fiction right now due to fear of fandom backlash we have creators afraid to make their thing and afraid it isn’t ‘inclusive or progressive’ enough… so they bend themselves endlessly until fandom ‘approves’ them, but even so someone is bound to scream and say the work is offensive and the cycle of hatred is restarted.

I know this reply was like a huge egocentric monologue and I strained with non related issues at the end, but you asked my thought on this so I tried to convey it with detail.. including things related to the perception we have concerning fictional themes and I just kinda had to vent at some parts of it.

etc…. This doesn’t mean I forbid judgment from others or criticism or that I forbid people from harshly criticizing works of fiction, just that sometimes it gets more harmful than beneficial and scare people off, and I felt like saying that.

Anyway,,, just want to say nonetheless I find it very sweet and considerate that you are taking different opinions in mind while writing, but you don’t need to worry at least from my part, and I don’t think you ever got even close to being explicit in your writings so there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.