#and not making enough efforts (when I have actually been more active recently)

[byakuyasdarling]

.

[lingering-42-long]

141 + extra when they get home from war

Y’all be too much lol. This is my third head cannon and the Mother’s Day one is still on the top of the likes list and I don’t know why like that one was my trash one and everything else I like put time and effort into. It’s like offering people a gourmet meal or Ramen noodles with chicken nuggets, lol I’m glad everybody does enjoy my Content though, and I hope that you all enjoy this one as well!

COD x Female Character

Warnings: PG-13, mentioning of sex, fluff, suggestion of angst

Captain John Prince

• when he gets home, he’s usually pretty tired.

• Don’t be alarmed if he just wants to sleep when he gets home.

• Usually you pick him up from the airport and he will load in his bags with a grunt and say that he could really use some good sleep.

• He smells like gun powder and dirt, even though he just took a shower.

• When he gets home, he will give you a kiss, then head off to bed no matter what time of day it is.

• He’s just that tired.

• When he wakes up the first thing he does is go back over to you and give you a proper kiss and a proper greeting.

• Make sure that you have some food for him. He’s going to be hungry, and he really needs some thing that’s more sustainable than MREs.

• He wants to hear about your life and what you’ve been up to while he’s been at work.

• Listening to you talk is one of his favorite past times and it helps him relax. Sitting in front of the couch while watching some TV show while you’re rambling on about the past months and about what you’ve been up to really brings a smile to his face.

• He likes to catch up on his reading.

• This man enjoys reading with a cigar in his mouth and a glass of bourbon.

• If you’ve picked out a new book for him to read, he will be gladly appreciate of of it.

• But most importantly, he would want you to be in his lap while he’s reading, but if you don’t like the smell of cigar smoke near your face, he will make sure not to smoke near you.

Lieutenant Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley

• Simon comes home as Ghost.

• The persona of a vengeful wraith and the shell of a once human is what your are graced with.

• He is very quiet, very solemn, and very cold.

• This is because he’s just dealing with his PTSD.

• He needs time to heal from recent encounters. This can take as little as one week to as long as three months.

• After badgering him enough times, to go see a therapist, he obliges.

• Though he’s pretty cranky about it.

• Give him space. He doesn’t want to hurt you, but right now, he doesn’t trust himself, especially with the nightmares raging through his mind.

• His nightmares are so vivid that it can be hard to distinguish Friend or foe.

• This is due to the fact that he needs to be working or else those vile thoughts come hunting him.

• He will never tell you about what goes on while he’s away.

• Once Ghost disappears, Simon takes his place.

• The poor broken man is just tired, and he just wants to lay next to you and hear about your day or months.

• Once you become stable enough, he begins to be more active around the house instead of just brooding in the bedroom.

• He hast to keep himself busy at all times.

• No rest for the wicked.

• Hast to sleep with a lamp on.

• Even though he seems harsh around the outside, he loves you deeply, and that’s why he separates himself from you for a certain time.

Sergeant Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish

• Opposite of Ghost, Johnny is so excited to see you!

• As soon as he gets off the airplane, he runs over to you!

• This man is all over you before you even see him!

• He starts asking you 1 million questions about how your months have been and what’s been going on with his family and any news on the recent football (soccer) matches.

• You actually have to calm him down because he’s all over the place.

• When you get into the car, he is kissing you all over your face.

• This man has enough energy to run to the moon and back, and it shows.

• He’ll try to take you right there if only he wasn’t in a car confined by a seatbelt

• Johnny is quick to help around the house and do whatever task you need to do.

• He says he’s making up for lost time.

• If you’ve decorated the house in a new way, he will always compliment what you’ve done to it.

• Johnny wakes up early in the morning and practically begged you to join him on a hike.

• It could be down pouring for all he cares about but he really wants to be with you while he’s working out.

• He will bring you back a souvenir probably something stupid like a rock or a jar of sand.

• If he gets any scars, he shows you and starts pointing them out and tells you the story about each and everyone of them.

• He won’t go into great detail about how gruesome the battling was.

• He wants you to be in his life every step of the way, even if you’re at home.

Sargent Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

• Kyle is grinning from ear to ear when he sees you!

• He’s not as hyper as Johnny, nor is he a stoic as his captain.

• He has the perfect mix between excited and tired

• When you to get home, he says that you two should just order pizza and he’s dying to play a video game with you even if he’s a little tired.

• Kyle doesn’t go into a lot of detail about his work. He’ll just make an occasional gesture about what he saw what he did.

• Like soap, he’ll bring you back a souvenir.

• He actually takes time with his souvenir shopping though, and we’ll go to local markets installs to actually pick you out some thing that you might like.

• Happy to be with you and glad to be away from the fighting.

Commander Alejandro Vargas

• When he comes home, his first instinct is to drop his bags by the door, and bring you into a warm and passionate kiss and hug.

• As much as he loves his job and all of his soldiers and team, some thing about being at home with you makes him feel truly loved.

• He may be tired, but he still going to serenade you like it’s his last day on earth.

• If you haven’t started making dinner yet, he will help and participate with whatever you’re doing. He may be tired, but he’s never tired for you.

• He loves watching you move around the house.

• He’s not going to deny it, but you wearing his clothes and cooking dinner with him really turns him on.

• After dinner, he may propose a night in bed to you.

• This man serenades you in sex especially after he’s been away for a long time

• Physical touch is his love language, and he loves being with you.

Sergeant Major Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra

• Like his commander, when he comes home, all he wants to do is drop his bags and immediately embrace you and a warm hug while rubbing your head and whispering how much he’s missed you.

• He also wants to help you cook dinner, or do some thing, but if you go, tell him to take a shower and to relax, he won’t deny that he needs it.

• Rudy loves reading a book with you so after dinner he will want to skip the washing dishes and ask if you would like to read with him before going to bed. No matter what time it is in the day. If he’s tired enough, he will once to at least read a little bit before falling asleep.

• Once he’s asleep, the bags underneath his eyes seem to disappear. He knows you’re close and he knows that you’re safe and that’s all that he could ever ask for to make him happy.

König

• As soon as he gets off the airplane and sees you amongst the crowd of people, his anxiety stops, and he immediately makes his way to you.

• He can’t sleep on an airplane, but as soon as he’s in the car, he’s about ready to doze off. You have to remind him not to though, because waking him up or trying to drag him out of the car is near impossible.

• He is really trying hard not to pass out in the car.

• Once he gets home, he stumbles into the kitchen looking for a nice tall glass of water to drink, and a sandwich or two to eat.

• Make sure that you keep the sandwiches stocked.

• This man will then make his way to the bedroom, take a cold shower, get into some warm PJs, and then slip into bed.

• Once he’s asleep, he will stay in his hybernation for roughly 3 days.

• He will only wake up to use the restroom, get a drink of water, or to eat some thing.

• When his mind is on the battlefield, he rarely puts himself into a sleep state, but when he’s at home, it’s like all of the hours that he missed, sleeping or suddenly compiled in a single week.

• Just let him rest, and sooner or later, he’ll wake up from his hibernation, and will seek you out so that he can give you kisses and hugs and ask how your time has been away from him.

Alex Keller

• When Alex gets back, like everybody on this list, he is tired.

• His leg is very sore from the prosthetic. Prosthetics are not comfortable and cause I’m serious leg and back pain.

• He will ask very nicely if you could massage his leg for him when he gets home.

• Once he’s in the car, Alex is taking off that damn prosthetic leg and rubbing his stump.

• You can tell he’s in a lot of pain just by the way, his eyes crease, and a frown forms.

• In order to get him off of the pain, you talk to him about his time.

• This usually makes him perk up since he enjoys talking to you about his adventures.

• His personality is like a mix between Johnny and Kyle, but leans more towards Kyle.

• When you get home you’ll have to help him walk because he really does not want to put on his prosthetic.

• You just leave the bag in the car to get later.

• When Alex gets into bed, it’s like a huge sigh of relief washes over him.

• You can see how red and agitated his amputated limb is.

• You do what you can to make him feel better by applying some numbing cream and giving him some pain relieving medicine.

• He always feels better once you start massaging his leg and even more so if you give them a back rub.

• This man is a simple man and enjoys a simple massage after months of no rest.

Philip Graves

• Like a soldier from World War II coming home to meet his best girl.

• He always surprises you when he comes home and has one of his shadow men drive him to the house.

• He always buys you a huge bouquet of flowers and some pretty jewelry as well.

• When he walks through the door, he asks where his baby girl is.

• And of course you come running and giving him a huge hug and crying, which he immediately envelops you into a hug.

• He’s whispering in your ear with that southern drawl about how much she misses you.

• He gets a little into himself when he’s talking about how his mission is or how he was able to handle such a dangerous and daunting task.

• As egotistical, as this may seem, it is his way of expressing his love for you in a slightly weird way.

• In the evening, he’ll probably swoop you up into a dance, with both of you, smiling and laughing.

• He tells you how much he misses you and how much he loves you.

• In bed, he shows you how much he means both of those things.

[gay-dorito-dust]

I come bearing a brainrot of a relatively normal s/o for the Lin Quei bois except s/o can see dead spirits and always keep a straight face. Sometimes they act weird bc they're avoiding a really nasty looking ghost and have grown numb to it. But when the bois finally catch a glimpse at the 'ghosts' their beloved mentioned all they see is some kind of eldritch horror. (This came from my recent fascination with the manga/anime series Mieruko-Chan)

Rate my really shitty attempt at creating eldritch creatures. (Actually don’t cuz I’m mega sensitive) 🦦

Tomas Vrbada

Ever since being forced by Johnny to watch horror movies, Tomas had been scared shitless when it comes to paranormal activity.

Ghosts, poltergeists, you name it, Tomas is scared of them all.

So when you -his seemingly normal but beloved partner- have been intentionally avoiding a certain spot in the Lin Kuei, shifting your gaze over in it’s direction now and then before ignoring it completely with a straight face, he didn’t think much do it at frisky but the more and more it has became the more Tomas started to feel an indescribable feeling within his chest.

It was the same feeling that he would often get when having been forced to watch a horror movie with Johny, that feeling where he knew something scary was about about to happen, which only worsened the longer the scene continued to build and ramp up the tension and to have him too scared to even look over his own shoulder; only to near enough be scared shitless a second later and loose hold of his popcorn.

Needless to say Tomas had been forced to watch one too many movie where the protagonist was somewhat clairvoyant to known that when you were giving a very specific area, out of the entire Lin Kuei no less, an cautious look. He knew better then to ever indulge in any amount of curiosity that he may have, even if it was a smidge, he would pretended that he saw nothing and would go about his day like normal. He wasn’t about to become one of those stupid characters who’d willingly go into a house that was very clearly haunted by visage alone!

He’s following your example right down to a T! He honestly doesn’t want to know what was lurking in that corner and he wasn’t particularly all that eager to find out either. Tomas would rather life the rest of his life in ignorant bliss if he could, but unfortunately for him that wasn’t going to be the case, for he had found himself having to go to that very room to get something for his brothers. However as soon as he opened the door, Tomas caught a glimpse of the thing in the corner that you’ve ominously warned him about.

It was hideous, so hideous in fact the sight of it made Tomas want to gag but he knew he couldn’t, so he slapped a hand over his mouth. The creature had bore the appearance of a pure bred Russian bear dog, but unfortunately for Tomas, that’s pretty much where the similarities started and stopped; For it had clusters of small, almost peddle sized eyes that were black as night taking up it’s entire face.

That wasn’t all, when the creature opened it’s mouth -if Tomas could even call it that- it’s stomach would rip open just as a thousand pair of what could only be described as human hands emerged out from said stomach, palms laying flat on the floor, as they began to shuffle across the floor in search of something. One particular pair of hands almost came into contact with Tomas’ foot, almost making him scream, but upon realising that their search efforts bore no fruit, the hands then retracted back into the creatures stomach, where it would then close itself up as though someone had just zipped it shut from the inside, before moving towards a different part of the room.

Scared out of his wits, Tomas bolted out of the room, completely forgetting what he had originally went there for, and just ran as fast as he could. He ran even when his legs began to hurt, he ran even when his lungs were begging for breath and he ran even when he had all but forgotten why he was even running in the first place. Tomas didn’t stop running until he saw you heading towards him, his brothers probably sent you to see what was taking him so long, and without a second thought; Tomas held you in his arms tightly, burying his head deep into your neck as he whispered.

‘How can you bare to seeing these things on a daily basis.’ The image of that thing was forcefully seared into Tomas’ mind, haunting him forever.

You didn’t have to ask further details as to what it was that he saw and instead reciprocated his hug, stroking the hairs at the back of his neck reassuringly, whilst pressing kisses into the side of his head where your would then rest your cheek against. ‘I don’t.’ You replied, looking straight ahead at the creature just as it poked it’s head out of the door, staring at you with all of their small beady black eyes before slinking off into the room across through the wall.

Kuai Liang

Concerned was a word that was often used to describe what Kuai Liang felt whenever you would shuffle closer towards his back, you might as well have been hiding, when passing down a particular hallway as your eyes were focused forward. Almost as though you were avoiding looking at something you didn’t like by pretending it didn’t exist.

Kuai Liang was aware of your uncanny ability to see the dead as you did the living, it was one of the things you disclosed to him upon first meeting, and even recalled the stories you’d tell him regarding the kinds of ghosts you’ve come across. Upon further questioning as to what they looked like you told Kuai Liang that most were human or humanoid in figure, but others went beyond the realm of human comprehension.

The latter of the two kinds were the ones you tended to avoid having direct contact with the most and this most recent one was no different.

‘Is it them, my love?’ Kuai Liang asked, looking over his shoulder at you worriedly.

You hummed. ‘They’re always with us, following but they most like to stay here and watch everyone who passes by.’

Kuai Liang pursed his lips at this new tidbit of information, whilst concerning learning this was, he was concerned about was getting you out of this hallway a lot more. Just as he was reaching back to grab your hand, Kuai Liang caught slight movement from out of the corner of his eye but before you could say anything, his eyes were already locked onto the other side of the hallway; more specifically the area you purposefully avoid looking towards every time you have to come down this hallway.

Kuai Liang remembered you telling him that It shouldn’t be possible for him see what you see, but it wasn’t uncommon for ghost to become temporarily visible. So with that in mind Kuai Liang could only deduct that what he was seeing before him what you regarded as a type two ghost; In all honesty the word ghost didn’t quite seem to match what he was currently seeing.

The creature in question was about his height, maybe a little shorter, then again he wasn’t quite sure considering it was sort of slouched. It appeared human enough in its physique, but something deep inside Kuai Liang told him that what was standing before him was far from human. He just couldn’t escape this deeply unsettling feeling that continued to grown within his chest the longer he continued to look. A sharp snapping sort of sound caught his ear, and in an instant his senses sharpened as Kuai Liang watched to see the creature viciously attempting in tearing it’s own face off with it’s hands that were infused with needles, as though desperate to get it off, to reveal…a smooth porcelain like mask beneath shredded and stringy bits of it’s former face.

As if watching that wasn’t enough the lower half of the smooth porcelain mask began to crack, a jagged fissure spread from one end to another like it was forming itself a mouth but once it had finished, the crack like mouth then began to open to reveal an endlessly dark void beneath and just before it could even think to speak; you quickly grabbed Kuai Liang’s hand and pulled him down the hallway until you were a safe distance from the creature. You could tell that seeing something like that had gotten to Kuai Liang, even if it was by a little margin.

‘Are you okay?’ You asked, squeezing his hand.

‘I fear for you little flame.’ Kuai Liang admitted. ‘Your gift for seeing these things, I worry that it will plunge you into the darkest depth that not even my fire would be nearly enough to guide you out safely.’ You smiled sympathetically at his concern. ‘As long as I don’t acknowledge them or give them a line of communication, then there’s nothing to worry about.’ You reassured him but you could tell that it wasn’t enough with the way his brows furrowed deeper with worry. ‘Doesn’t mean that I wont still worry about you.’ He utters, tightening his grip on your hand, afraid to let go.

‘I’m not expecting you to because no matter what I know you’ll always worry about me but I promise when I tell you that no harm can come to me if I don’t incite it. I’ve lived with this my entire life, all I ask of you is to trust me.’ You practically begged as you stared Kuai Liang deep into his eyes and watched as he sighed before pressing his head against your own. ‘I trust you with my life, little flame.’ He says in a hushed whisper. ‘However it’s within my duty to protect you from all harm, living or not.’ You smiled at his warm words, closing your eyes as you learnt in towards his natural warmth.

‘Then at least let me protect you from time to time.’ You cheeked, causing Kuai Liang to let out a deep chuckle as he pressed a little kiss to your lips. ‘I won’t make any promises.’ He cheeked.

Bi-Han

Now Bi-Han wouldn’t say he whether he did or didn’t believe in ghosts, but even if he did he wouldn’t be one to actively try to prove their existence. He was the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, he had no time for such childish ridiculousness, not when there were more pressing matters that were more worthy of his time and effort anyway.

However when you first told him that you could see ghosts, Bi-Han didn’t know what to make of it, he’s not one to discredit your abilities in anyway shape or form. He’s not like Tomas who watches one too many horror movies and starts flinching at every subtle creak or groan of the floorboards. Yet that doesn’t mean he didn’t find your power intriguing because after all Bi-Han is a man who strives to know more, he strives for knowledge and so he would take this opportunity to fully understand how exactly your power works.

He even takes note how you purposefully ignore an area with everything you had, keeping your head down or eyes facing forward whenever you had to go anywhere near it, coming out of the room with a straight face as though you weren’t fazed but Bi-Han was well trained in knowing when his intended target was lying and or on edge. Upon asking why you were avoiding that specific part of the Lin Kuei, he took in everything you told him about the ghost that you encountered, engraving every last detail it into his head as to paint himself a picture, but even then Bi-Han doesn’t think it remotely resembles the creature that you saw.

Never did he think that he would ever see it for himself but one day he did indeed find himself staring into the unsettlingly large, bulging eyes of the creature as it breathed heavily, as though it was severely out of breath and was just now recovering. It was about half his size and had hair covering everywhere…well except its midsection, which was all just leathery skin that rose and fell with its breathing pattern. It’s hands were human but everything else about it wasn’t, it had lost it’s lower mouth, leaving only it’s top row of sharp teeth; making the question of how it could possibly eat or consume anything to Bi-Han’s morbid curiosity.

The creature then proceeded to close the distance between the two of them and all Bi-Han could smell was death, blood and rotting flesh but he wasn’t fazed. He was aware of what the creature was doing and wasn’t about to give it the reaction it so desperately wanted, he was above these childish attempts of intimidation; So in retaliation Bi-Han only narrowed his eyes, presenting himself in a way that told the creature that he could see what it was doing and that he was above such tactics. He could see why you’d avoid looking upon these things, they could send a weaker minded person to the brink of insanity upon first glance, but Bi-Han was made of much tougher material to succumb to such.

The creature backed of, finding no enjoyment in this at all, and left the room through the wall on all fours for much weaker prey, looking like some dog with a sever case of mange.

Later that day where you and Bi-Han were settling down for the night, Bi-Han then decided to admit to what he saw prior, not liking to keep such things from you especially when it’s in regards to your powers. ‘I saw it.’ He said point blank as he stroked your back and it took you a moment to realise what he had meant by that before a look of realisation spread across your face. ‘You did? I thought that wasn’t possible.’ You replied.

‘It was only a glimpse but what I saw, I saw it as clear as I see anything else.’ Bi-Han told you, wondering how it was that you could keep your psyche intact when seeing such vile creatures on a daily basis. He even wondered if you’ve seen some that were even more grotesque then the one he had encountered earlier.

‘Not exactly a pleasant sight are they?’ You joked, looking at him with a small smile, knowing firsthand how unnerving it was to know that such things could possibly exist, even though you did finally mange to find a routine you had followed religiously in the events where you did happen to encounter them. Unfortunately It never truly gets rid of your first experience with seeing them for the first time, firmly believing that you were going to die due to how horrific and fear inducing they were.

‘No, I’m guessing that I’m right in assuming that this one pales in comparison to others you’ve had the misfortune of seeing?’ Bi-Han asked, watching your every expression like a that of a hawk. ‘Way worse.’ You responded as you snuggle yourself deeper into his chest, closing your eyes to avoid looking at the glowing pair of eyes that peered into yours and Bi-Han’s room.

[hornedandwingedangel]

Raphael thoughts

I’ve been analyzing him a lot recently so here are some thoughts I have about my favorite cambion.

SFW

- tbh, I don’t think he’d be that bad in a relationship. He canonically says he cant resist helping you, he likes you. Maybe he almost respects you? In a way. Sure, he’d be toxic sometimes. But he even said he’d “make time for his favorite client”. He cares about you, I think he’d be pretty nice.

- For example, I think he’d buy you nice things. He has expensive taste and he’d want you to look good next to him. And ofc he’d love handing you a beautiful dress or necklace to see a smile on your face.

- he’s actually your biggest supporter. He genuinely wants you to succeed in the things you do. You can see from a conversation with Korilla.

- He reminds me so much of Ursula lol. Flamboyant, manipulative, condescending

- It’d take a while of being in a relationship with him for him to open up, but eventually he’d vent to you about his father and issues between them. I think in general, he’s not super open, but he is quite honest.

- an example of that honesty is that he tells you that the Orphic hammer is a good trade and he writes in his journal that he really believes it is. I think he genuine likes you and wants to help you (but not quite enough to let you get in the way of his plans)

- I don’t think you can “fix” him or calm his ambition down as much as you can with Astarion or Gale. But I think you can calm him down just enough for him to let himself express his human side around you more often.

- hugs! He would be suave and very nonchalant about letting you hug him, but he secretly LOVES holding you in his arms. Feeling you in his grasp. His own little mouse all to himself.

- LOTS of banter. Well, he likes your praise and attention all to himself. But he also likes some arguing. He finds you being opinionated and having stimulating intelectual conversations attractive.

NSFW

- This guy has serious anger issues. It’s not hard to piss him off. I think it’d be a lot of fun to rile him up sometimes. He’s cute when he’s angry. Ofc, this can lead to… “punishment” and such… “activities”

- now about him being a bottom and whatever. Here’s what I think based on other headcannons I’ve heard. 1) he wouldn’t rly bottom for you. he wouldn’t submit to anyone who wasn’t him (or on his level like Haarlep who is in Raphael’s form anyway). 2) he’s “bad” in bed bc he doesn’t have to do any work to be satisfied. Haarlep does all the work and they don’t have a romantic relationship aside from sex so there’s no real reason for him to put in any effort. But you can’t tell me after idk, hundreds of years? of having sex he doesn’t know how to fuck?

- he would never make you do anything you didn’t wanna do. When it comes to how you guys do the devils tango, I think these headcannons are totally up to you. But imo, he’s a dom on the aggressive side with teasing, humiliation, and condescending praise.

If you have any bc questions (ex: would he like ___?) pls comment :) I hope you like these hcs 🫶🏼

[magicalbats]

Day 14: Orgasm Denial

Rating: R-18+

Word Count: 7925

Warnings: Afab!reader, (lots of) gendered language, social power dynamics, boss/employee, upperclass/lowerclass, tbh I’m not entirely sure how to tag some of this xmdkxkdnd, manual masturbation, dacryphilia, I wanted reader to be a bit of a bimbo in this one so if she seems stupid that’s why lol

A/N: sorry this one is late! I am officially behind on my prompts now but regardless of how long it takes I WILL be completing this Kinktober challenge! Unfortunately the real world demands attention sometimes but I’m not giving up 😤

⭐

Stamping down the urge to nervously fiddle with your hands, you clutch at the front of your arpon to keep them still and try very hard to focus on what the man in front of you is saying. The Palais Mermonia housed a great many regular faces, some of which you only saw from time to time and could not seem to commit to memory, and yet you’d been seeing mister Danon’s more and more often than anyone else’s recently. You didn’t understand why that would be though, and had at first written it off as mere coincidence. A simple matter of happenstance and nothing more. 

But then it kept happening at an ever increasing frequency until it seemed like you were running into him almost every day now. Only then had it occurred to you, in a far off, distant sort of way, that he must have been making a concerted effort to talk with you like this. That was the only reasonable explanation for it that you could glean, because the one person you saw at the Palais with any amount of real regularity was the honorable Iudex himself and certainly not the man who’s job description you could not seem to recall. But that didn’t exactly explain why. 

You wanted to understand what would make him seek you out like this, so you attentively listen to mister Danon when he speaks even though you sometimes find him a bit difficult to follow. He seemed like he was probably a good person and respectable enough, but he had a strange habit of jumping from topic to topic without much rhyme or reason that you could discern. One moment he would be talking to you about matters of work, about documents he needed to have signed or the latest gossip that had everyone all in a buzz, and the next … why, he would suddenly say something off hand about recreational activities to do in the city or places to dine, a book he’d read recently and even the types of food he fancied. 

It was all very strange, and listening to him talk does not help in the slightest. In fact, it actually seems to make it worse. 

You didn’t have the slightest idea why he would want to discuss upcoming stageplays with you nor why he should feel the need to announce that his favorite dish was aspic as if it was something that should be of great interest to you. It was all really quite strange. 

“You see, if you take a few fish when they’re still flopping around and fresh,” He tells you, eagerly gesturing his way through an explanation you hadn’t asked for. “That will guarantee their taste and ensure your aspic comes out just divine. Like something straight from the Gods themselves, if you want the honest truth of it. I don’t think I’ve ever tasted anything more sumptuous!” 

“A - ah,” You make a valid attempt to smile politely but it was difficult to keep up with him like this. What did you care for the precise steps to make such an unappetizing sounding dish? 

“You know, if you were interested, cherie … I could make it for you to try, if you would like. Ah, what I mean is — it might be nice if we can sit down together and chat over a meal at my residence. Just the two of us.”

Your brows slowly crawl straight up to your hairline. “Oh.” 

Before you can think to say anything else, an attention grabbing thud against the marble floor makes you spin around and a smile quickly overtakes your face. 

“Monsieur Neuvillette! It is a pleasure to see you today.”

The kindly man sends you a slow, vaguely bemused half-smile. “Good afternoon, mademoiselle. Mister Danon. You looked like you were having a rather lively conversation just now. I hope I didn't interrupt anything important?” 

“Of course not, monsieur. It was nothing important at all.” You beam up at him, eager and happy to hang on his every word no matter how benign or minuscule. Much to your surprise, though, he sends another unreadable look over your shoulder and when you turn back to Danon you’re more than a little surprised to find him slouched as if in defeat. Your eyebrows quickly make the climb up to your hairline again. “Mister Danon, are you alright? Goodness, you suddenly look quite unwell.” 

“Yes, everything is fine. Nothing to worry about.” He waves off your concern, but it doesn’t escape your notice that he makes a concerted effort not to look directly at you now and instead turns his attention towards monsieur Neuvillette. “Forgive me, your honor. I’m afraid I must be going now. My break is almost over and my presence will be sorely missed if I fail to show up on time.”

The stately Iudex inclines his chin in a brief nod of acknowledgment. “You needn’t apologize, mister Danon. On behalf of all of Fontaine, thank you for the hard work you do.” 

Giving monsieur Neuvillette a stiff bow, he turns to do the same to you. “Mademoiselle.” 

You quickly bob a perplexed curtsy back. “Monsieur?” 

Ignoring or perhaps not hearing the question in your voice, Danon pivots on his heel and makes a hasty retreat down the long corridor without so much as a backwards glance. You can’t seem to shake the feeling you’ve said or done something wrong though, and you watch him go with a tiny flutter of anxiety in your chest until another soft thud of monsieur Neuvillette’s cane on the marble floor pulls you around again. 

With a small frown in place, you tip your head back to look up at him when he comes to stand next to you. “Monsieur Neuvillette?” 

He offers you a small, gentle smile, no doubt meant to placate and soothe, though it does little in the way of good. “Please do not look so put out, mademoiselle. Would you like to accompany me to my office?” 

Nodding, you fall into step beside him. You find yourself listlessly fiddling with your hands now, unable to stop it when it felt like you'd made some horrible faux pas, and they anxiously flit over your front to smooth out invisible wrinkles. What a strange and confusing situation to end up in, and with no idea how to navigate it either. It seemed like you’d done the exact opposite of what you’d initially set out to do … you didn’t understand it in the slightest. 

“Forgive me for asking you such a strange question so suddenly, but … did I say something to offend mister Danon just now?” 

Noising a quiet sound of consideration, monsieur Neuvillette thinks on that for a brief moment. “I am certainly no expert on the topic, mademoiselle, but if I am not mistaken I do believe mister Danon harbors a romantic interest in you. I believe he may have felt slighted when you said what you were discussing was of no importance, and he took it as a sign of rejection.” 

You jerk to a sudden halt with an inelegant scuffle of your heels. “Romantic?” Eyes widening in mute horror, you feel your cheeks start to grow uncomfortably warm. That did make sense, you were more than just a little stunned to realize. The way he made the effort to find you wherever you were working, stop you and talk to you; the way he would casually sprinkle in bits and pieces of his personal life and subtly suggest food, diners, places to go and things to do … had he really been laying out suggestions this whole time hoping you would show an interest in him back? But — “But he never said … oh, monsieur Neuvillette, I had no idea!” 

He looks at you with a soft, sympathetic smile where he’d stopped half a pace in front of you. “It is alright if you didn’t know. Situations like these can be difficult to — parse sometimes, and I do not think you acted with malicious intent. Come, let us continue this over a cup of tea.” 

Embarrassed and roiling with a crushing sense of guilt, you slowly trail after the Iudex to his large, exquisitely furnished office where you quickly fall into your usual habit of preparing the chinaware while he situates himself on the ornate lounge. It is muscle memory alone that sees you through your task, motions practiced and subconscious after working at the Palais for so long, which comes as a great relief in that moment. You were far too preoccupied with this startling revelation to give the pouring of the tea much thought. Mister Danon’s intentions were shocking enough but, perhaps even more so, you’re surprised at your own lack of awareness on the matter. 

You felt rather bad now, for listening to him so attentively and humoring the conversations he was always keen to share with you. Had he mistaken it for budding affection on your part? Have you unknowingly encouraged him to keep trying or, somehow worse, made him believe you were merely toying with his feelings this whole time? What a terrible thing to do to another person, intentionally or not. 

Monsieur Neuvillette silently regards you when you bring the tea over on a silver tray but you can’t bring yourself to look at him while you set everything down on the low table in front of him. He was always nothing but kind to you despite your lower station of housekeeper, just as he was with all of the staff that kept the Palais functioning as it should. Everyone from the notarizers and the title clerks right down to even the janitors were treated with nothing but respect and dignity, and that very much included you. But you were a bit too ashamed, too guilty to meet his gaze right now, and you quickly shuffle back a polite distance once everything is laid out so you can further avoid his eyes. 

A stretch of quiet settles over the room, and you have to try very hard not to start fiddling with your uniform again. 

“Won’t you make yourself a cup and join me?” He ventures at last. 

“I couldn’t, monsieur Neuvillette. But thank you.” 

He seems to deliberate over something for a short beat before half turning his body on the lounge to look up at you. “I must apologize for prying like this but what about the situation with mister Danon has you so upset? If you didn’t know what his intentions were then you certainly cannot be held responsible for not acting accordingly.” 

You hesitate to discuss this matter with him, well aware that it was improper and impolite to talk over such things with not only the aristocracy but also the man who was effectively your employer. It felt very much like an unspoken boundary that should not, under any circumstances, be crossed but … when you take in monsieur Neuvillette’s imploring expression your resolve starts to crumble. He was a wise and exceptionally astute figurehead who always treated every case laid out before him no matter how small or insignificant with the utmost care and consideration. Perhaps he would have some insight to share with you, or at least some advice. 

“Well,” You finally relent, tipping your chin down to shyly regard your buckled shoes. “I’m aware that this might sound a little odd but I just feel so guilty about everything … I should have realized sooner why he kept seeking me out like he did. As silly as it is, I can’t help but feel like I tricked him somehow.” 

“That is a silly thing, isn’t it?” He agrees in a soft, endlessly patient tone. “How could you have tricked someone if you weren’t aware of what they wanted from you? In the unlikely event that a case such as this were presented to me, I wouldn’t even be able to rule in favor of misrepresentation on the defendant’s part. You have to act with knowing and intention to be held accountable for trickery.” 

You despondently mull that over for a long stretch. Logically, you knew what he was saying to be true and you, as everyone else in Fontaine, trusted his judgment implicitly. It wasn’t so much that you doubted him but, rather, your guilt was so great that it couldn’t accept this answer. The thought alone that you might have broken mister Danon’s heart after stringing him along for months almost brings tears to your eyes. 

“Does that mean you wouldn’t deign to punish me for it?” It’s barely more than a whisper. 

“No, not unconscionably. No one in their right mind would.” 

It feels like you're withering on the spot. You didn’t understand it yourself, why you were so upset to hear this rather than relieved at finding you hadn’t broken any laws or regulations that would hold you accountable. Even if mister Danon were to try to file a suit against you to mend some of his bruised ego it sounded like he wouldn’t even have a case to stand on — and that was good. 

So why did it feel as if you were skating by without making proper amends for the transgression?

“Mademoiselle?” 

You finally bring your head up to look at him. “Do you think mister Danon will forgive me if I apologize?” 

Monsieur Neuvillette’s expression softens, taking on a truly remorseful edge. “I don’t know, little one. He might. I can’t see into the future any more than you can, but I think if it’s something that bothers you so much then it certainly wouldn’t hurt to talk to him about it.” 

Blinking back a sudden deluge of tears, you take an impulsive step towards him with the tray clutched to your chest. “Oh, monsieur Neuvillette, I don’t know what to do! How can I possibly ameliorate my actions if he might not even accept my apology? I — I didn’t mean to lead him on!” 

Very neatly, calmly, monsieur Neuvillette folds his gloved hands on his lap and studies you for an indeterminable amount of time with that closed and shuttered expression. You aren’t sure how many minutes pass when you’re a right mess inside, all your emotions kicked up into such a veritable whirlwind that it’s all you can do just to hold it together. But, at length, he eventually draws a careful breath. 

“What I’m hearing is that your guilt over this matter will not be dissuaded until you feel appropriate action has been taken against you to right what is, in your mind, a very serious wrong, intentional or not. Is that correct?” 

You blink, more than a little surprised at how concisely he’s grasped your thoughts on the matter. It almost sounds foolish when he puts it like that, in such blunt terms, but there is no denying the pang that resonates within you. “Yes, monsieur. I feel terrible for what I’ve done …” 

He seems to hesitate, his brows drawing inward almost imperceptibly. “Guilt can function as its own form of punishment as well, and a very effective one at that. But you must understand something, mademoiselle. The law simply is not applicable here. There is no legal recourse and, therefore, no system in place to enforce any sort of repercussions against you.” 

You take another step closer, feeling fervent and hot. “Then will you punish me, monsieur Neuvillette?” 

Abruptly, he goes very still. “I am hardly in any position to mete out such discipline,” He says slowly, carefully. “And, far more importantly, I’m not quite sure what you would have me do. I don’t believe this situation would call for a monetary fine or even any corrective action on an employment level … and I’m certainly not going to spank you over my knee like a child.” 

Flustered heat crawls up your neck to settle in your cheeks. You hate the way your knees grow weak and knobby at the thought of that, but you were decidedly in agreement with him. It would have been inappropriate for him to strike you in any capacity, least of all over something like this. Still, though … 

“Isn’t there something to be done?” 

Monsieur Neuvillette’s expression settles back into that somber mask again, eyeing you for a drawn out beat before he finally issues a clipped sigh. Leaning back to recline against the lounge, he stiffly crosses his legs and once more settles his folded hands atop the bent knee. “Come here, little one. Stand next to me.” 

Your feet almost don’t want to move from the spot but you force them to uproot so you can cautiously shuffle forward. You aren’t sure what to expect when your cotton stuffed head was such a mess, but all he does when you come up beside him is hold out an expectant hand. It takes you a moment to realize what he wants and you flush even hotter as you pass him the tray. Taking it from you, he sedately sets it aside on the cushion before fixing his attention on you once again. 

“This is another topic in which I lack expertise but I might have something in mind that could satisfy your need for penance. However, I will not force or otherwise coerce you into it, and you will likewise be free to walk away at any time. Once you have decided you’ve made the appropriate dues for leading mister Danon on, as you put it, then this arrangement will end immediately. Is that agreeable to you?” 

You bob your head in a quick nod. “Yes, monsieur Neuvillette. Thank you.” 

Squaring his broad shoulders, the usually kindly disposition with which he carried himself outside of the courtroom fades and is replaced by the stern set of his mouth, the slight tension along his brow, to indicate that it is the Chief Justice sitting before you now. A chill runs up your spine at the change in him, so subtle yet unavoidably obvious, and a sharp look from pale lavender eyes stops you from saying anything. You’d never before been subjected to such a hard expression from him and you can’t quite stop yourself from sympathizing with whoever was unlucky enough to find themselves standing before him in court. It really wasn’t any wonder why he held the title of supreme judge in all of Fontaine when you saw him like this. 

“Do not thank me yet, mademoiselle. If you would be so kind, please lift your skirt for me.” 

Your spine stiffens with a tremor so powerful it very nearly bowls you over on the spot. Obediently, though, you reach down with numb hands to gather the full, flouncy material of your uniform and shyly hike it up along with the lace petticoat underneath. 

“Higher.” He commands, intently observing the slow ascension of your skirts. “That’s it, up around your waist. Good.” 

Sucking in a faltering breath, you sway unsteadily on your feet and try not to lose your nerve. The thought that you would be able to alleviate your guilt with this steels your resolve though, and your hands start to shake as your stockinged upper thighs are revealed to him, the simple garters holding them in place and, finally, your lace panties. Your face is on fire while you nudge everything up a little further to make sure it was satisfactory and to his liking despite still harboring some very real doubts about this in the back of your mind. 

He did say he wasn’t going to spank you … didn’t he? 

Casually, monsieur Neuvillette reaches out a hand to slip long, elegantly poised fingers into the space between your thighs and you suck in a sharp gasp when he nudges them up against your cunt just so. The touch is featherlight and barely there, but it makes more blood rush into your face to leave you rattled and a bit dizzy. But you don’t pull away from him as he takes his time petting over the apex of your fleshy mound and the slit running along your body, determined to see this through. Somehow having him touch you like this was not nearly as embarrassing as the way his expression doesn’t change while he does it, you’re quite ashamed to realize. 

“Are you sensitive here?” He asks you softly, prompting you to swallow. Hard. 

“I … I don’t know. I’m not sure.” 

Quietly clicking his tongue, monsieur Neuvillette presses up against you a little more firmly, gloved fingertips digging into your defenseless clit to make you jolt and give a startled yelp. “You seem responsive enough to me. I only know of this particular activity in theory but … well, it doesn’t really matter. I believe we should have no problem at all using this method for your penance.” 

“W - which is, monsieur?” 

“I believe I’ve heard the people call this ‘edging’ before. It sounds rather dreadful, doesn’t it? Like some sort of barbaric torture technique.” Carefully observing your face, he pushes up even harder to grind tight, mean little circles against that sensitive pleasure button, and your eyes grow big as you stiltedly rock forward on your toes. “I suppose it could still be called that, depending on who you asked. The instigator or the receptee. I’m sure they would have drastically different opinions on the matter.”

Whimpering, you numbly readjust your hold on your skirt to make sure it stays up and out of his way while he’s doing this. Not that you were entirely sure you liked this specific method in terms of punishments when it was so obvious your body was eagerly responding to it – from the way your pussy clenches around nothing and starts to slick for him and even to the way your nipples stiffen against the inside of your shirt – but perhaps that was a good thing. Would you have really been able to say your penance was paid in full if this trial were not appropriately challenging?

“Wh … where?” 

Blinking at the little mouse squeak noise, monsieur Neuvillette just keeps rubbing over you with that steady motion of his hand. “I beg your pardon?” 

Trying valiantly to keep the fluster off of your face and failing miserably at it, you shyly avert your gaze. “I was just curious … where did you hear of this?”

“A reasonable question.” He relents, allowing the smallest note of humor to color his voice. “While it is true I don’t often partake in such crude conversations, it can be a little hard to avoid at times. Even here, in the Palais Mermonia. I believe they refer to it as ‘water cooler talk’.”

“Oh.” You’d overhead such things before too, now that you thought of it. The other women who worked at the Palais were more prone to gossip, joint complaints about their husbands or beaus, fawning over babies and first days of school, and academic achievements, while the men … they would sometimes change topics when they saw you coming but more than once you’d caught snippets of inappropriate conversations. A recent visit they’d had to a brothel or perhaps how they fantasized about doing certain things to their partners. You always felt mildly scandalized whenever it would happen, shocked that such discussions were being entertained at the Palais, and yet — 

Letting out a slow, stuttering breath, you carefully glance down at yourself to look at monsieur Neuvillette’s hand disappearing between the soft pudge of your thighs. This was vastly more inappropriate than any ‘water cooler talk’ and that realization embarrasses you a great deal. Your cheeks feel a little hotter, your blood pumping harder, and you whine, very low in your throat. Was this really an acceptable form of punishment? 

You think it probably is, because the shame that comes with it is potent and cloying, especially when your hips give a weak judder at what he’s doing. To think that the Iudex himself was touching you like this … 

“Does that feel good, little one?” 

Twitching at the sound of his voice, you give a stilted nod. “Yes, monsieur, thank you … but — but I don’t think I quite understand. Are punishments supposed to feel good?” 

“Not necessarily, no. But this is only a part of it. Relax, sweet girl. I will ensure your guilt is appropriately mitigated in due time.” 

You still don’t truly understand it, but you allow yourself to ease into it anyway. Relax into his touch. Slipping your eyes closed, you just take a moment to feel the sensation of him rubbing over your cunt. The press of his firm fingers pudges your lips to highlight how soft and pliable they are, the blunt tips of his gloves sinking into the slit. Even the thin layer of your panties is not enough to lessen the drag in any meaningful way, and it doesn’t seem to take long at all for you to start feeling sticky with arousal. It’s copious and excessive, almost implausibly so considering that he’d only touched you in this one specific spot thus far. Hardly at all. 

You hadn’t thought you would be so easily excitable and yet the proof of it is in the way you tremble for him, the way your breathing gradually picks up to make your breasts heave under your blouse, and it quickly becomes difficult just to stay standing in place. You wanted to twist and pull away, give your drooling cunt even a moment's reprieve, but you don’t give in to the urge. That wasn’t what he’d agreed to, and you trusted his judgment … 

So you stand there, trembling, while your stiff nipples cut up into your shirt in search of the same friction, and you try not to cry out. Your pussy tingles against his hand, the pressure it exerts so constant and steady that it rapidly starts to feel like the building pressure in you is reaching critical mass. Much sooner than you could have anticipated or guessed, it was as if your body was particularly weak for monsieur Neuvillette’s dutiful attention. 

Softly wheezing when your legs buckle and threaten to give out, you subtly tip your pelvis further into his hand and it becomes that much more apparent how wet you really are. How stiff and engorged your clit had gotten. A violent shudder tears through you at the meaty, swollen drag of it under his fingers, head tipping back and. - - 

He retracts his hand so suddenly it leaves you lurching in place. Raggedly gasping at the sudden loss, you turn wide, wild eyes on monsieur Neuvillette but he merely gives you that same somber expression as he interlaces his fingers on top of his bent knee once again, unfalteringly casual about it. 

“That will be all for right now, mademoiselle. Thank you.” 

You just gape at him, stunned and confused, with your skirts still hiked up around your waist like a shameless fool. “Wh - wha —“ 

A look of sympathy flashes across monsieur Neuvillette’s face. “This is the penance you wanted so badly. As many times as you like, I will bring you close to orgasm but I will not let you actually reach climax. It is the only suitable punishment I could think of for your specific … transgression.” 

It takes a great deal of effort for you to do it, but you suck in a slow, shuddering breath to steady yourself. “I … I see. Thank you, monsieur. I understand now.” 

“Very good. Now, run along. I’m sure you’ve got work to do elsewhere.” 

He offers you a small smile that you think is meant to be reassuring but it does very little to distract from the throbbing ache in your cunt or calm your pounding heartbeat. Numbly, you drop your skirt and petticoat back into place and run your hands over it to smooth out the (now real, not imagined) wrinkles as you slowly make your way towards the door. It was like you were in a trance. 

“And mademoiselle?”

You pause, turning to look back at him. “Yes, monsieur?” 

“I would like to see you in my office again around noontime. Please do not forget and don’t be late.” 

~*~

It hadn’t taken you long to realize just how insidious and cruel this strange brand of punishment truly was. You left his office such a sticky mess between the legs that even trying to clean yourself in the powder room did little good against the slick oozing out of you to stain your panties and make them stick to you, moulding against your cunt. It serves as a near constant reminder of how close you’d been to climax, how monsieur Neuvillette’s fingers had felt touching such an intimate part of your body, and how torturous it had felt to have that friction taken away so suddenly. 

The wisdom of the Iudex impresses you even now though, for you did indeed see why he’d deemed this the only appropriate corrective measure that would fit the crime. You had unknowingly strung mister Danon along with your feminine charm and wiles, so it did indeed make sense to turn that back around on you in some way. 

And although it does take a while, the distracting pulse in your cunt slowly fades into an afterthought in the back of your mind while you flit about the Palais tending to various tasks and seeing that everything was as it should be. At some point you even start to forget how your damp panties cling to you and that makes it much easier to view this trial as an easy obstacle to overcome. You would simply allow monsieur Neuvillette to carry out this task a handful of times, consider your self flagellation completed and then move on with your life. 

Yes, this really was the best method of making your peace with the situation. 

Comforted in your conviction, you return to monsieur Neuvillette’s office at the appointed time and issue a gentle rap at the door. His voice filters through without missing a beat, calling for you to come in, and you enter without reservation. 

Perhaps you should have been more wary of underestimating him or this game you were playing but you think nothing of it as you make your way across the room to stand in front of his stately desk. He looks up at you with a brief smile that inexplicably makes your pulse thrum a little faster, and that surprises you slightly. Catches you off guard. 

“Thank you for your punctuality, little one. I have a meeting scheduled after lunch is over so I wanted to tend to you before I got too busy.” 

Self consciously, you avert your gaze. “Are you sure this is alright, monsieur? I don’t want you to go hungry because of me.” 

“Nonsense. I planned accordingly and already ate before you came by.” Not lingering on the thought for very long, he takes a moment to straighten a stack of papers and neatly set them aside, out of the way. Nudging his high backed chair out from under the desk, he half turns and situates himself first before reclining against the backrest and finally looking up at you again. “Come. No need to feel shy.” 

His words have the opposite effect of making you feel ten times more shy than you originally did, and you can feel yourself starting to blush again as you slowly round the desk to come up beside him. Standing just a scant few inches from him like this it occurs to you, suddenly, that you probably should have been a bit more apprehensive about returning to his chamber like this. He was going to touch you again … oh, perhaps you had not thought this through all the way.

“Here.” He says, drawing you back into the moment with a gentle pat against his leg. “Sit on my lap, little one. This should make things a bit easier for both of us.” 

The flush that crawls up your face is an intense and overwhelming one. “M - monsieur, I — I couldn’t possibly be so presumptuous!” 

“Is it presumptuous if I’m telling you to do it?” 

Your spine stiffens at the slightly hardened tone in his voice, the edge that seems to cut across any of your weak excuses, and you quickly realize it is once again the Chief Justice sitting before you now, not the kindly monsieur Neuvillette. And he was looking at you very expectantly. 

Swallowing your nerves, you reluctantly shuffle closer and turn to lower yourself onto his leg with a slow, stiff motion of your body. The firm pressure and warmth of him underneath you is almost enough to send you running from the room in hysterics, but before you can even think to change your mind his arm comes forward to secure itself around your middle. A surprised little yelp bursts out of you when he hauls you back against him to settle more firmly on his lap, completely disregarding how you tense up and shudder on top of him. 

“There. Isn’t that much better?” He softly coos at you, tugging you back to lean against his front. Your face feels like it’s on fire but you don’t fight it, only whimpering quietly when he at last has you situated how he wants. 

“M - monsieur …” You mewl into the suddenly statically charged office, unable to stop it, but he just quietly tuts at you as he turns his head to press his mouth against your hair. 

“Now, now, you’re alright. I’ve got you. There isn’t any reason to be so nervous.” A violent tremor tears through you when you feel his lips purse against the side of your head in what you think must be a brief kiss — but you don’t get the chance to fully process the significance of that as he bends a little closer to put his mouth near your ear now. “Spread your legs for me, little one. Let me see you.” 

Dizzy with the surge of white hot arousal that abruptly crashes into you with all the force of a sack of bricks, you give a weak, twitchy roll of your body against him and reach down with trembling hands to grab at your skirt. Slowly inching it up, you tip your chin down to watch with him as more and more of your thighs are revealed. The soft pudge around the tops of your stockings embarrasses you somewhat but not nearly as much as your panties do. Even from this angle you can see a dark, wet spot staining the crotch when you ease your legs open and you whimper softly at the sight of it. 

“Goodness, you certainly soaked yourself earlier didn’t you? Poor thing,” With a quiet click of his tongue, monsieur Neuvillette reaches down past cotton and lace, and voluminous frills to slide his hand over your mound. Your breath hitches as you watch him do it, cupping your pussy with an almost apologetic squeeze, and you quickly turn your head away before you can say or do something else you’ll regret today. 

You had to admit, it was very naive and shortsighted of you to consider this an easy penance just because it was not a constant, pressing concern at the forefront of your mind. How very foolish you had been. 

“I was thinking about it earlier and I found myself quite curious,” He admits, still just holding your cunt in the palm of his hand. “Would it be too impolite of me to ask how often you usually pleasure yourself?” 

Your chest dramatically heaves with the ragged gasp you suck in. “Monsieur Neuvillette, that’s … why would you ask me something like that?” 

“Oh dear, I hope I haven’t offended you. That was not my intention, little one. Please forgive me.” A pause, while he turns his head to press his lips against your hair again. “It is just that you are so shy and your body is so sensitive. I wondered if perhaps you were too ashamed to take care of your own needs in this manner, that’s all. I’ve heard some women are.” 

Lungs painfully constricting inside your chest, you stiffly lift your hands up to cover your face. Having the Iudex pet you so intimately was one thing, but discussing such matters with him was something else entirely! 

“P - please forgive me, monsieur … you haven’t offended me it’s just — I have no experience with this sort of thing. I do it, sometimes. Pleasure myself like that. But I’ve never had anyone else t - touch me in that way before …” 

“I see.” 

Silence settles over the room for a long, drawn out stretch that soon starts to ride the line of being uncomfortable. You can just start to feel the sting of hot tears creeping through at the corners of your eyes when he gently pats your cunt with the flats of his fingers, startling a surprised noise out of you. Lowering your hands enough to see, you gape down at yourself as he somewhat possessively cups his hand around you again and gives the pudge of your labia a light squeeze. 

“Such a silly thing you are.” He says against your head, displacing some of the little flyways there to send them dancing at your peripheral. You barely even notice it though, trembling at the faintest hint of a growl in his voice when it sets your guts to vibrate and seems to reverberate inside your chest cavity. You’d never heard him sound like that before but don’t get the chance to linger on that thought or question it, because he nuzzles further into you until it feels like he’s speaking directly into your ear now. “In the future you should try not to be so forthcoming with your body when it comes to men. Had I been any less honorable I could have all too easily taken advantage of you earlier and I could still do it now had I wanted to. I understand your desire for wrongs to be appropriately righted as that is the very foundation Fontaine was built on but this is not the way to go about it, mademoiselle.” 

Your mouth warbles open but nothing comes out. All you can do is sit there, quaking on monsieur Neuvillette’s lap, while his fingers slip into one side of your panties and tugs them aside. The sight of your own cunt lips, puffy and flushed with arousal, surprises a faltering animal noise out of you that seems to echo endlessly inside the room. He pays it little mind though and simply curls his thumb to brush over your slit and the clitoris hiding within, smearing sticky slick with that fine leather glove and nudging your body into opening up to him. Legs twitching, you jerk your hands down to latch onto the arm locked around your middle, clutching at him even as you fitfully writhe against the sensation. 

All at once your earlier arousal comes crashing back with a vengeance, temporarily forgotten but not near as snuffed out as you would have liked it to be. Your clit thrums under his stilted caress as if the climax you’d been close enough to taste but not able to experience had lain dormant this entire time while you ensured the water pitchers were filled, the snack tables stocked and the fireplaces were appropriately stoked wherever they were needed. It shocks you a great deal to realize how powerful your arousal truly is, and you buck your hips with a whiny moan that would have embarrassed you under better circumstances. 

But better circumstances would not have found your cunt absolutely flooding with a deluge of fresh slick, nor would your clit have been swelling as eagerly as it does. You can feel the meaty, engorged drag of it under the soft petting of his thumb, almost idly drawing it back and forth with a total lack of urgency that makes your head spin perhaps even more so than the sharp stabs of pleasure do. You wanted to cum, and the knowledge that he would not permit you to just makes you want it even more. 

“Please, monsieur —!” 

Softly humming, he presses his thumb down a bit more firmly. “Are you already getting close, little one?” 

You tip your head back to rest on his broad shoulder, panting up at the ceiling while shuddering waves of yet unrealized ecstasy crash over you, each somehow more powerful than the last. Instinctively, you inch your legs further apart even as they tremble fiercely for him and you think, idly, you probably would have vibrated right off him had he not been keeping you pinned against his front. You’re helpless to do anything except sensitively quake like this, and you do so with great enthusiasm. 

“It is too much … I - I can’t take it!” 

“You will.” He assures you, his voice soft again but it still carries that subtle hint of an edge underneath the surface. You didn’t understand it, why he would sound like that. What had brought it on. Was he even more displeased with you than he’d suggested? 

The thought alone brings tears to your eyes almost as much as the cresting pleasure making you writhe on his lap, and you squeeze your eyes shut to keep them at bay. You didn’t want to make him feel bad for causing you to cry when you were the one who had asked for this … but oh, it was so very hard not to give voice to the sobs threatening to wrack your body when it was all so much. The firm, weighty pressure of his thumb petting over your cunt, his other fingers idly teasing along your slit where they were still holding your panties aside. The smell of him, the taste of him lingering on the back of your tongue, his sturdy weight underneath you. It was all too much, and it felt like you were drowning in him. 

“Let this be a lesson to you,” He continues, unconcerned with the way you twist against him and choke on stuttering gasps. “Even more pressing than the matter with mister Danon, I’m far more concerned about how easily you gave yourself up to a man to do with however he pleased for the sake of penance. Needless self sacrifice is not justice, sweet girl. I do hope you’ll remember that.” 

Bending his head close once more, monsieur Neuvillette presses his mouth to your hammering pulse, and you mewl at the contact. It is not so much a kiss, you abruptly realize, as it is a not very subtle threat. Like there was a beast lurking beneath that kindly gentleman facade … 

“Oh, monsieur, I — I’m going to —“ 

“No, you are not.” He cuts across you, practically hisses it against your jugular, and you nearly jolt right off him when the arm around your middle slides up to lock across your front at an angle. Suddenly he pinches your nipple through your shirt where it’s stiff and straining against cotton, giving it a mean little tweak to make your back bow. Trying to twist away proves futile and you yelp at the pleasure laced pain even as your cunt drools even more obscenely in response. 

You felt like you were going crazy. Truly wild with potent, cloying arousal so powerful, so overwhelming, you can’t even process what’s happening to you while you shake right to the edge of your release. 

And just like that, the hand on your pussy retreats, pulling away altogether to leave your panties shamelessly askew in favor of latching onto the swell of your inner thigh and keeping them spread when you frantically buck your hips in search of that fleeting touch. You heave and groan, reeling at the total loss of friction, but it is useless. Monsieur Neuvillette is an unyielding presence at your back no matter how earnestly you squirm against him, and his gloved fingers give your aching teat another cruel tug to further stave off your release. 

You’re more than a bit horrified, in a delirious, hazy sort of way, to find that the pain serves its purpose in chasing away your climax enough to leave your pussy absolutely throbbing in the wake of this denial. No longer teetering right on the precipice, it seems to force you back a pace or two and all you can do is look on longingly at the promise of oblivion beyond with yearning and desperation. Wanting, but not allowed to have. 

You truly had underestimated just how tortuous this punishment technique could really be … 

Through the murky fever you feel monsieur Neuvillette brush his mouth across your cheek to press at the corner of your eye, effectively drawing you out of your groaning stupor. Sucking in a ragged gasp, you clutch at his arm all the tighter and try in vain to lean away. 

“M - monsieur?” 

“You’re crying.” 

Noising a soft sound of confusion, you blearily blink your eyes open to realize that they were in fact clouded with a swimming sheen of tears making them burn. Sniffling sadly, you start to reach up to swipe them away in shame but the hand on your breast comes up quicker and locks under your jaw, physically turning your face towards him. 

Laying spread out on top of him with your head forced back against his shoulder, you look up at monsieur Neuvillette from just a scant few millimeters away. His expression is still somber and unreadable but … the glint in his pale lilac eyes makes your chest hitch. It wasn’t hunger the same way you’d on occasion caught other men looking at you — men like mister Danon, you realize in retrospect — but it is a hunger all the same. Something old and primal, from a long forgotten dark age that inspires a slow curling tendril of uncertainty low in your gut. You don’t think it’s lust per se, not in the usual sense, but a kind of lust,  perhaps. One you didn’t have a name for. 

One you weren’t sure if you wanted to learn the true nature of. 

After silently studying you for a long moment, he finally drags his gaze from your face to regard the tall, stately clock standing sentry in the office, the only witness to this lurid state of affairs. “I still have some time before my meeting. I think we should be able to squeeze in one more session before I have to go.” 

You very nearly give voice to a hysterical, broken sob, just barely managing to choke it back with a frazzled whine instead. “Monsieur —“ 

“Hush, little one.” He murmurs and leans close again, stunned surprise washing over you when his tongue flicks out to lick up a wet tear from under your eye. You gape at him in shocked disbelief when he pulls back enough to look at you again, leaving behind residual moisture on your skin, but he doesn’t even look the least bit put out or sorry for it. Like it was a perfectly normal thing for him to be doing. Perhaps it was. You had no idea – and if he recognizes your surprised reaction for what it is, he certainly doesn’t show it. “You have nothing to fear from me. I will ensure your punishment is properly administered and then we shall further discuss your other behaviors in greater detail. Rest assured, you will be appropriately corrected in time. I will personally see to that myself.”

⭐

Crossposted: here

[shepherds-of-haven]

If there was a popularity contest for the ROs, who would win? I think the obvious answer is Blade, with Chase as a runner up, but I think 3rd place is a bit of a toss up. My moneys on Lavinet… for completely unbiased reasons

Do you mean a popularity contest among us, the readers and fans, or a popularity contest among the Shepherds themselves? 😂 If you meant the first part, we did hold a popularity bracket a few months ago (results are here: Blade took first, with Trouble second) and a poll about romance options here, though a bracket is probably not the best kind of way to determine second and third places, etc., due to the nature of the random pairups (like Lavinet might have made it farther if she hadn't been paired with Trouble right off the bat, etc.). So in the future we probably will hold an actual "who's your favorite" poll, just to see!

If you're talking about a popularity contest within the Order itself, I think the results might surprise you! Who's considered most "popular" among the recruits tends to be a combination of who actively socializes with and spends time with them the most (i.e. who's friendly towards the most rank and file), which definitively isn't Blade (I actually talk about their various fanclubs and popularity among their admirers here, and discuss why Blade and the others lost some here).

If the Shepherds were to hold a popularity contest right now (Chapter 9 or thereabouts) with people voting for their favorite Shepherd, it would probably shake out to:

Trouble (universally popular and well-liked among the recruits because he casually hangs out as one of them quite often)

Briony (friendly and cheerful, makes a real effort to connect with people, learn their names and details about their lives (she has amnesia so she doesn't have any preexisting relationships, she's trying to fill up her life with new friendships fast), plus she can show you how to choke someone out with your thighs and that's awesome)

Chase (the vast majority of the people voting for him are fans/admirers who are feral about him, even though he doesn't mingle all that much with the rank and file, though he tosses them a wink or makes playful conversation with them just enough to fuel their ardor)

Ayla (goes drinking with the recruits and socializes with them regularly, arm-wrestling with them and mingling with them easily, etc. Sometimes she randomly pulls away or gets snippy if you rub her the wrong way, though, which is why she lost some points)

Red (he would likely be much higher if he wasn't rushing around with his nose in a book muttering to himself all the time--he's much more popular with the Circle Mages than he is with recruits who have joined up recently, simply because he doesn't really take the time anymore to meet new people or make friends, he has enough of those and now he just wants to be left alone to work on his own projects 😂)

Tallys (her beauty and mystique make her very alluring, so she has a strong backing of admirers and fans, but not super close friends outside of the inner circle; many find her a bit intimidating or hard to approach, so they admire her from afar)

Halek (similarly to Tallys, his hotness and laidback demeanor (plus his quiet celebrity status as sol) earn him a lot of admirers and fans, even if he doesn't really interact directly with them. People are really into guys who don't bother them and just do their own thing... they read his lackadaisical attitude about his position in life as humility and it feels like a gift and a blessing when the Halek Prince drifts by and idly asks to bum a smoke off of you lmao)

Shery (she has an incredibly strong backing of quiet fans and admirers, though nowhere near as much as the people who love Trouble--a magically-augmented sniper who has a penchant for boxing shirtless in the courtyard and remaining totally oblivious to people who are sneaking a peek from a window--or Briony, who can punch through walls. Fans of Shery are like... the hipsters of the Order lol they pride themselves on recognizing her awesomeness when it'd be easy to be distracted by the flash and drama of the others!)

Blade (he is pretty much universally feared, respected, and admired by the people in the Order, almost to the level of awe and reverent hero-worship... but because he never directly interacts with like 95% of them and treats them as subordinates, I can't see that they would all vote for him as their "favorite" Shepherd in a contest like this, not when they interact with many of the others on a daily basis and are actual friends with some of them! He may have the biggest share of non-romantic fans and admirers just on a general level, but the ratio of the ones who would actually vote for him are quite low because he's so aloof that they sometimes wonder if he's even human lol. Also, sometimes he terrifies them, like how he chewed out the guards for slacking off on his second interlude. It'd be like asking you to vote in a popularity contest between your close personal friend, a bunch of coworkers, and then your boss lol)

Lavinet (as of Chapter 8ish, her popularity among the Shepherds is still quite low. She is the latest major companion to join the inner circle, and on top of that, many recruits dislike or distrust her due to her status as a noble, assuming that this is a kind of PR stunt and she's going to quit as soon as the work gets too hard for her pampered self, or they outright resent her because they don't like the nobility in general (hard to blame them). However, give her some time, because after she starts really proving herself to the ranks by diligently and uncomplainingly doing her work and pulling off some impressive missions, and with a healthy dose of her patented, effortless charm and social grace, and feelings towards her are going to shift to become more positive... Given enough time, I believe her popularity and admirers would eventually rival that of Chase, Briony, and Trouble's, easily putting her in the top 3!)

Riel (he makes absolutely no effort to interact with any recruit in a way that would make him popular, lol. The majority of them know him as "avoid him at all costs because he'll rope you into doing manual labor for him" or "by God, do not drop any crates near his office because you'll be able to see his scathing, baleful look of reproach through the walls" so yeah, it's hard to see many people voting for him except for the quiet handful who are crushing on him hard)

Mimir (most recruits: who? because she lives outside in her tent, the majority of people don't even realize that she's joined the Order--I don't think she's even like an official officer, I think she just lives there now and gets fed lmao)

However, also keep in mind that these results are for a "who would people cast a single vote for if forced to choose their favorite Shepherd" contest. It's not exactly the same as, say, "who has the most admirers, period" or "who receives the most anonymous love letters"? Those numbers shake out to be more even... One might even argue that remaining aloof from the rank and file would have an inverse effect, in that it's easier to secretly admire someone from afar in a way that develops into sappy love-letter-type feelings, because you can project a kind of fantasy onto them, rather than having to outright vote for them as your "favorite" (while admitting you have almost no direct interaction with them). So if the question is, "who receives the most love letters?" I would say it's:

Blade - Trouble - Tallys - Chase - Red - Briony - Lavinet

Shery - Ayla - Halek

Riel (and only because people who truly admire him and have any inkling of his personality are terrified that he'd be able to figure out who sent him a love letter based on, like, the quality of their ink or something like that)

Woof, sorry for the long, rambling, overdetailed explanation, lmao... Hopefully that all makes sense!

[themostineptthateverstepped]

Obviously, I am very tense about the Loki finale tonight, so this post may not age well, but I just have to say this.

The kiss in the season 1 finale was super weird. Not just because it was some strange version of selfcest, but because there was no real chemistry there. It genuinely felt like Sylvie's last-ditch effort to distract/confuse Loki enough to achieve her goal of killing He Who Remains. And that is exactly what that was. She kissed him, he looked completely defeated during said kiss, and then she kicked him through a time door, killed Kang, and then went about her life.

She did not look at all pleased to see Loki again, and there has been no spark of anything between them the entire season. Even when they join hands to use their magic, it looks like siblings. THEY READ LIKE SIBLINGS. There really hasn't been any effort put into developing their chemistry or connection romantically. Even in their most recent interaction at the bar, Sylvie is playing the detached therapist, trying to guide Loki into admitting what he already knows, the true "why" behind his mission, and it isn't her. She even explicitly defines that she has her own story and path and advises him to write his own. Separately.

Now all of this is a long way of saying that, if they move forward and push Sylkie on us at the eleventh hour, I won't be angry because it's not my ship, I will be angry because they did absolutely nothing to grow it, to nurture it, to have it make any real narrative sense.

Yes, this is Tumblr, and we all love a good gay ship (because we are sad and gay and starved for representation), but Loki and Mobius actually make narrative sense. Not only do they each represent the other's turning point and catalyst for growth and change, but they are also two characters that have developed into something together. Their evolution is incredible, and we have been given scenes all season that parallel their growth, in the way Mobius doesn't hesitate to trust Loki, how he embraces Loki's mischief, how Loki comes back to Mobius again and again, defends him, comforts him. They have actively built the framework for Lokius, even heavily implying that Mobius is the "who" that guides Loki's time slipping.

However they choose to manifest Loki and Mobius' relationship, if they leave it ambiguous, if it's queer-platonic, if it's whatever, they at the very least need to make it abundantly clear that THIS is the fundamental relationship. Their bond is the heart of the show.

Loki needs to love Sylvie because he needs to be able to love and embrace himself as he is, all of his strengths, and all of his weaknesses. Sylvie, who is still so impulsive and bent on revenge, is an excellent opportunity for him to see where he came from and love her anyway. But we've seen him face her impulsive violence, and instead of him meeting her there and joining in, we saw him become calm and compassionate - we saw how Mobius had helped him to grow. We need Loki and Sylvie to love each other, because that is how they are going to heal, it's how they aren't going to lose. But it's self-acceptance, it's the love you have to have before you can truly love someone else, and I think given Loki's long arc as a character, we need to see him beak out of his narcissism, move beyond just loving himself, and truly love someone else.

They more than paved the way for Mobius and Loki, and if they through that away for Sylkie, it won't just be sinking a perfectly good ship, it would be horrifically ignorant, wasteful storytelling. And this is the God of Stories, so if you fuck this up... I mean. Just don't okay?

[beelmons]

about the love languages blurb thing...🥺 can i pls ask for physical touch with Hotch bebé pretty please? i just feel he's do touch-starve it is difficult for him but when it comes to you... he'd do anything🥺

thank u in advance hermana💖

Anything for you sis! 💖 @cassiemartzz

Physical touch + Quality time (Aaron's love language)

Hotch is one of the people in the team with the strongest attachment to his love language, which means that he struggles to use other love languages to express his feelings. However, something very important about Aaron is that he's always open to listening.

He will have a hard time initiating the touches, but if you're straight forward with him and explain how important it is that he holds your hand in public, runs his arm over your shoulders, kisses your chick every once in a while, he will do his best to please you.

You will have to me patient with him, though, when he's overly stressed or in a bad mood, he might forget about the agreements you have come to, but a gentle reminder, that's not pushy, will go a long way. Don't be scared to start the contact, more often than not he will reciprocate.

If he doesn't, though, don't take it the wrong way. His job requires all of his senses to be active, he can get overwhelmed pretty easily. If he rejected you in a particularly harsh way, let him know, he will never try to make you feel unloved.

Make sure to compensate his efforts with quality time on your side as well, otherwise we might feel like he's the one giving everything in the relationship. Dinner, movies, even bed action, your sole attention should be on him when you're lucky enough to have him around.

Scenario:

You made your way, secure enough, towards the offices of the BAU. Not the first time you had been in that office, even if your marriage to the unit chief was rather recent. Familiar faces, his coworkers and friends with whom you had formed bonds with, welcomed you with hugs and smiles.

Even Garcia was summoned from her lair to provide you with attention, everyone around you simply smiled at your presence. They were all witnesses to the happiness you had brought their boss, and they were forever thankful for that.

"I'm not kidding, I have filed official FBI complaints on Hotch for not bringing you more often." Penelope told you. You took a second glance at JJ just to confirm the statement, and she simply nodded with certain exhaustion. The fact made you break into a loud laugh, the kind of laugh that would resonate throughout the entire office.

The harmonious, and unmistakable, melody snapped Aaron's attention to the window of his office, which was your initial destination until you got held back by a barrier of FBI agents asking about your day. Once he had confirmed you were the source of it, he dropped every pen and paper he had at hand to reach the point where you wer standing.

"Honey," he made his way in between Morgan and Reid to reach you "what are you doing here?" after his words, he took a step forward to give you a gentle hug.

"Hey, babe, I'm just dropping this off." you raised a black gym-style bag "I was doing laundry and noticed you took the old go-back instead of the clean one."

Aaron grabbed the object with a frustrated and slightly embarrassed sigh "I must've forgotten to empty it when I got from my last trip, I'm sorry you had to come all the way here for it."

"Don't worry handsome, I love having an excuse to stop by and have a little chat with this lovely group of people." you said as you gestured to the agents and everyone seemed to blush at your statement.

"Which reminds me, Garcia, take down the current complaint before Strauss actually gets to it." the man glared in the blonde's direction. She muttered a quiet 'yes sir' and lowered her sight.

"Well, as much as I enjoy coming to the serial-killer bat-cave, I actually have to pick up Jack from your Jessica's, you guys have a safe trip." you directed your words at everyone "and, see you when you get back?" the last sentence you directed only to Aaron.

He nodded slightly and took another step forward. His right arm curled around your waist, and his left one dragging your face closer by the base of your neck. His lips smashed into yours in a passionate kiss that lasted around three seconds, which was two seconds too long for an appropriate workplace kiss, by the way. Once he pulled away, his eyes found yours "I love you."

"Love you, too." you barely muttered, still dizzy from the kiss. Without even noticing the rest of the people that stared at the two of you, you turned on your heels to walk back out of the office.

Reality hit Aaron like a truck when he met multiple eyes of flustered subordinates that had just admired the entire R-13 show the two of you had put on.

"Mazeltov." Rossi joked, earning quiet chuckles from the rest.

"Everybody back to work." his tone had gone back to commanding, not the high pitched caring one he wore when you were around. Without glancing at them any further, he moved back to his office to resume his activities.

"On my 30th birthday he gave me a handshake." Reid pointed out disappointedly.

"If you want a kiss, you have to look like that, kid." Morgan mocked, referring to you. The rest of the team laughed the situation off and everyone returned to their duties as ordered.

Aaron couldn't help to beat himself over it for a little bit, but after further inspection, he didn't care. Many things he promised the day you got married, and many he wasn't sure he would be able to hold, but if there was something he had vowed to do without fail, was that he would never leave your side without a kiss goodbye, a proper kiss goodbye.

[crows-spells]

My thoughts on the 10k Affirmation Challenge

Initially I never liked the idea of counting or keeping track of your affirmations. It’s always been something certain people do while manifesting, and if it works for them, cool, but I never wanted to do it. I thought it might make me overthink or obsess, but I recently downloaded a counter and I’m gonna try this. I’m really just going to affirm throughout my day as normal but also try to squeeze in some time to sit and affirm and track my affirmations with the app. Here’s why I’ve changed my mind:

When we are going through our day we are thinking around 70000 thoughts. If you are not actively controlling those thoughts then you are probably not manifesting what you want successfully. If you are not brushing off your unwanted thoughts and replacing them with your affirmations, you are probably wondering why you’re not manifesting and you’re probably getting discouraged. A while ago I realized the reason I don’t consistently manifest is probably because I am not on top of my thoughts as much as I think I am. If you affirm and flip thoughts a few times throughout the day, there’s still all the other thoughts for all the remaining time. The negative thoughts right now are what are natural and comfortable and normal to you, so you don’t really notice just how much you are thinking them. The affirmations are new and require your effort and focus, getting out of the habit of thinking unwanted thoughts requires effort and focus and determination. So you are automatically still thinking about the old story a majority of the time which is why your affirmations aren’t working. Your thoughts manifest. So you must be thinking about what you want more than you’re thinking about what you don’t want or else it’s just going to stay the same. If you were to count and keep track of how much you affirm, you will see how truly little amount of time you’re actually doing it. You will notice that the majority of the time you aren’t putting in the effort. Which is okay and understandable, like i said it takes effort. This is what putting in the work means, this is what taking action means. If you want to see change you have to change. Your mind has to change. When I have noticed my manifestations coming thru it was because I was flipping my thoughts and affirming consistently, it was not when I was doing silly methods or consuming tons of manifesting info, it was when I was putting in the work and just staying on top of my thoughts.

So I’m taking this as a chance to refresh. I’m going to look objectively at how often I actually affirm and consciously think from the end state. Cuz I just get mad and discouraged, “why isn’t it working” when I could be instead thinking “this works, everything works for me, I get what I want”

The 10k affirmations challenge is a fantastic way to motivate yourself to keep affirming and persisting. That is ACTUALLY what manifestation is, so this is really the one.

Mental diet:

Mental diet is an important part of conscious manifestation that I don’t hear people talking about enough. If you’re affirming through your day whenever you remember to, but then you allow yourself to worry and spiral and wonder, you will not see much progress. The more you affirm the less you’ll have to worry about mental diet because the old story is going to fade from your mind, but it is important that when negative or opposing thoughts pop up, you CRUSH THEM INTO OBLIVION. Depending on the thought, you can address it differently. For example, if you’re manifesting a car and you think “I don’t have a car” you just brush it off and say “yes I do have a car.” But if you are anxious, desperate, doubtful, you may need to be a little more aggressive in order to get your mind to let go of that thought, you can start rampaging affirmations until you feel better. This applies to any desire.

Initially I thought of this whole 10k affirmation thing as just a nice reminder that your desire is achievable if you just put in the work. Now I am really seeing the possibilities. This is going to change the way I affirm and the way I manifest. I will spend much less time in frustration and doubt and more time just affirming. Because the only thing between me and my desires is my thoughts. And I knew this but there’s was nothing in me to keep me grounded, no self discipline and no way to track how I was doing. I would get super motivated and start affirming a lot and start getting what I wanted and then I would just lose motivation and focus. You can’t count on motivation or a good mood, because you don’t always have that. You have to stay focused no matter what. Even though I affirmed that I was always motivated, the old story of not being motivated was still there and I didn’t PERSIST until it went away, I just lost motivation. You MUST persist because your mind is going to remind you of the old story. You have to flip that, affirm over it, make your affirmations much louder and more prominent until you forget the old story. Because you will forget it, it’s just currently what is most prominent in your mind which is why your 3D and automatic thoughts assumptions and beliefs reflect it. But your mind is malleable. It’s like clay. Saturate your mind with the affirmations so you can mold it into a new thought.

I made a clay pot. I didn’t like the design. So I sprayed it with water and I was able to smooth it out a bit but the structure and form was much the same. So I soaked the pot in water for hours and the pot became completely saturated and I was able to crush it back into a ball of clay and create an entirely new pot, better, more beautiful, exactly as I desired. That clay pot is like your mind. The water is your affirmations. Just affirm, don’t worry about anything else don’t worry about how ugly the pot is don’t keep taking it out of the water and looking at how ugly it is just keep it in the water so you can change it into something new. Now go affirm

[birgitte-on-fridays]

We need to stop fighting.

So I just joined tumblr (kind of, I've had this account for a while but I've never been active before. All that is beside the point though.) I knew tumblr was having some... issues but I really just needed to get off reddit for the sake of my own mental health.

Anyway, I got here and, pardon my language, what the fuck is happening?

I've seen posts by transfemmes accusing transmascs of being part of the mass reporting effort that got predstrogen banned. I've seen posts by transmascs accusing trasfemmes of not believing that transmascs suffer transandrophobia/transmisandry (I'm not entirely sure of the nuance in how the two terms differ.) It makes me really sad to see the community split like this, especially so soon after Nex Benedict's murder.

However, I haven't actually seen anything that would indicate that either transfemmes' or transmascs' fears about the other have any solid foundation. So why is this happening? I think I have an explanation. It's TERFs.

See, when I was first getting my bearings here on tumblr, I stumbled across a post from a TERF blog. I quickly blocked the blog, but I remember what it said well enough. As TERFs tend to do, the post infantalized transmascs and villainized transfemmes, insinuating that this recent infighting was caused by transmascs coming to some sort of realization that transfemmes are somehow tricking them into being trans. This is obviously super gross and transphobic, but more to the point, the blog was celebrating. The TERFs are happy about this conflict, which leads me to believe that they are the ones who created it in the first place.

I don't have any concrete proof for this, so feel free to call me crazy, but I'm going to walk you through my thought process:

predstrogen gets banned, TERFs see that the blame for her ban is largely being placed on them

They see an opportunity and start spreading rumors that transmascs were involved in the mass reporting of predstrogen’s account that led to her being banned from the platform

This leads to discussion among transmascs about transandrophobia

The TERFs again take advantage to make it look like transfemmes are deriding the idea of transandrophobia

The trans community becomes split, the TERFs are happy because they revel in our suffering

Now, for the sake of fairness, let’s say I’m wrong. TERFs had nothing to do with anything. There really were transmascs involved in predstrogen’s . There really were transfemmes harassing transmascs regarding transandrophobia. What does this change? Well, nothing.

These were the actions of individuals, and they are not representative of the groups they are a part of.

Okay, so this was a long post. I don’t have anything insightful to add here at the end. I’ll leave you with this message instead: be kind to each other. Understand that other people have had different experiences than you. Don’t allow yourself to close your little section of the community off from the rest because of the actions of a few individuals.

Oh, and if there are any TERFs still reading this, fuck off. You’re not welcome here.

[myconetted]

more tumblr meta in response to @alliered's post here

be warned: i am inarticulate yet verbose

on volunteer work

Tumblr has around 200 full-time employees. As of 2019, it looks like it had 16 million monthly active users. Two hundred people is just not a lot of people to run a social media site, which has to follow regulatory requirements and do moderation and all that shit. Volunteer work is going to happen and you can't really get around it. That's how scrappy teams operate.

Is tumblr chaotic? Yes. Could it stand to be more organized? ...Maybe? I remember the glassdoor reviews saying it was total cowboy culture and you were mostly left to your own devices. @jv (who works at tumblr) has also commented in late 2022 that tumblr is still very decentralized and you're encouraged to ask forgiveness rather than permission.

I don't work at tumblr so I have no idea how much of a problem this is, but it's worth remembering the point I made earlier: you can reduce chaos and thrash by adding process at the cost of making everything slightly slower. For tumblr specifically, since it's a remote team distributed across timezones, requiring people to come to meetings to make decisions can make things a lot slower because there will only be a few hours in the day that everyone can attend a meeting and limited overlapping waking hours. You're in the US and you wanted to ask your manage in the UK about whether you need to work on X or Y? Hopefully you asked in the morning, because your 2pm is their 10pm!

When you have a small enough team where everyone is very senior, it can actually be a huge productivity boost to do things in a pretty ad-hoc way. I personally have witnessed the transition from a ~70 person org to a 150-200 person org, and at 70 people we didn't need internal newsletters or super-fancy ticketing systems or dedicated project managers. Everyone knows everyone and can just ping each other directly. At 150-200 people, that starts to break down, and you get into situations where two teams might be working on very similar things without knowing.

Maybe that's something tumblr could do better, but it's also the type of thing that requires a shitload of concerted effort to get right: the worst thing you could do is introduce a bunch of middle management who end up wasting more time than they save because they don't have enough background information or technical expertise.

new features

also for bug fixing and new features.... the thing is that many users speak more on NOT wanting so much time spent on what seem like weightless updates when we want more focus in issues that have existed for weeks, months, and even years.

I think this point is really important for understanding a lot of the recent changes around tumblr that have occurred basically ever since it got acquired by automattic. Here's the bottom line: tumblr is not profitable and never has been. That means everything tumblr has been doing until now is not enough.

Tumblr needs more users and it needs to get more money from those users, or it dies. That's it.

The easiest and most reliable way to make money is to serve ads, serve a ton of them, and let advertisers pay more to target specific user demographics with their ads. In 2022, 90% of twitter's revenue was from ads. But tumblr's owners and staff don't want to do that, so they're exploring other options.

Which is why you've been seeing new features you didn't ask for: tumblr needs users, tumblr needs money; if the current features aren't cutting it, then they need to find some new features that will. Some features like the "live" thing are an attempt to get more users and/or engagement, to lure people in from other platforms like tiktok and instagram who are into that kind of thing. Other features, like the checkmarks and badges and merch, are more directly about getting money.

You may not like non-chronological timelines, but users coming from other platforms haven't had to curate their own feeds for like a decade now and just have no idea how to do that--tumblr offers recommendation-based feeds because it's empirically successful and helps you retain users. So you can see they're trying a lot of different things right now.

You might be wondering why this has only started happening within the last two or so years even though automattic acquired tumblr in late 2019. If public statements are worth anything, it's because they spent the first couple years rebuilding a shitload of backend infrastructure, probably paying down a ridiculous amount of technical debt, in order to make the platform stable and flexible enough for staff to work on a bunch of new features at once without worrying about extreme jank or bringing the whole platform down because someone removed a load-bearing print statement.

spam bots

Matt, CEO of automattic and the guy who's currently running tumblr as his highest priority, said last year that tumblr would need 2 million users to buy ad-free browsing in order to offset tumblr's running costs. At $40/yr, that's $80m annually to keep the lights on for tumblr.

EDIT: Here's a post from another staff member who breaks this down in a lot more detail and explains the motivation for the Live feature.

Fighting spam is just a notoriously difficult problem that no one has solved. The current situation mainly boils down to: get rid of all the spambots, or avoid accidentally banning real users. Pick one. That's it! To put this into perspective, neither Facebook nor Twitter have figured it out either. And they're both huge compared to tumblr, not just in terms of headcount but also in terms of the engineers they attract: we're talking about the combined efforts of hundreds of smart engineers who have tons of resources to tackle this problem. They haven't figured it out. In 2019 when tumblr was acquired by automattic, it had a total of 200 employees, whereas twitter had 4,900 and facebook/meta had 45,000. All things considered, I think tumblr's doing a pretty good job both in their automatic detection and their reporting system.

This is also one of those areas where people will be very tight-lipped about the specific things they're doing to fight spam, and for good reason. Fighting spam is a constant battle where each side is updating their strategies and trying new things. I don't know if you've noticed, but these spambots come in waves (at least that's how I've experienced it). The influx of spambots come in, tumblr figures out how to prevent and ban them, the spammers figure something else out, a new wave comes in, rinse and repeat. Making public posts about how the spambot detection works is a great way to tell spammers how to evade detection.

would finding a way to make the sign up process more difficult for spam bots be able to clear up resources elsewhere?

Yes, making sign-ups harder can make it more difficult for spammers to make accounts. But it also makes it harder for people to sign up. And again, tumblr can't really afford to add friction to the sign-up flow, because friction means losing potential users, and tumblr needs users. Also you would be surprised how easily spammers are able to circumvent these kinds of things so you end up in a state where you have fewer user sign-ups but the bots are still everywhere.

user feedback (tickets)

I mostly ran out of energy at this point but with respect to whether or not staff knows about things users want and how they're keeping track: that's what the ticketing system is for! That's why cyle keeps telling people to make tickets! The support tickets are how tumblr staff keep track of problems users are having and feature requests. Those tickets are connected to a ticket tracker where they can keep track of spikes in user requests and bugs and spam bots. I know it sounds stupid and it sounds like they're just telling you to put your suggestions directly into the trash, but that's actually the for-real tracking system they use for monitoring bugs and feedback. Everything else, like the various official and personal blogs, are because they're passionate about making some of this stuff visible to users.

So yeah they could maybe make portions of their internal tracker more public so users can see what tumblr is prioritizing, but that introduces its own problems, up to and including making the tracker less useful to staff. (I don't know if you've ever seen the chromium tracker. It's a nightmare.)

---

anyways tldr:

money hard without ads

tumbler need money and probably has to get this money without a significant headcount increase (not sure how much runway automattic has, but it's probably less than in 2019 because of the pandemic and the econony and all)

maybe tumblr could benefit from more internal process and organization but it's really hard to say as an outsider

otherwise i think it's kinda hard to ask staff to do more than what they're already doing cause they're doing a lot rn

don't let that stop you from giving them feedback, because even when you feel like all your feedback is going into a black hole whenever you open a support ticket, that's actually how they track these things. nothing screams user feedback like 300 new tickets in the queue about the same thing and they actually have to close those things out

i really didn't appreciate that last bullet point until i started working at a company with a product. users would ping individual engineers about things being busted and it's always like DUDE you're supposed to email support so it actually gets seen!! otherwise it's just hanging around in someone's inbox!

[consultingcompanion94]

Once Upon an Eternity

Chapter Two

Summary:

Something happened since Aziraphale left. Will Heavenly or Hellish power be enough to fill the missing pieces, or will Crowley have to look elsewhere?

Under any other circumstances, Crowley would have scoffed at the ridiculous notion of the scene before him- the back room of Nina’s coffee shop functioning as a makeshift war council room in the loosest form of the term. 

Scoffing was very much abandoned in the wake of the tension filling the room.

It became clear there was one common thread among the Demon, Scrivener, and two shop owners present- their collective gaps in awareness of recent events proved they were, indeed, missing something that could not be explained away as easily as it could if those gaps had only affected one of them. 

Knowing they were in the same predicament should have been reassuring…

“You’re seriously telling me you have no way back into Heaven?” Crowley growled angrily at the smaller Angel, ignoring the voice in his head that sounded annoyingly like Aziraphale berating him for being overly harsh. 

Nina and Maggie had spent the day doing their best to keep up pretenses running the coffee shop while Muriel had been attempting to gather information. Crowley had been holed up in Nina’s back room, doing his best not to let the tension fizzling in his veins escalate into a lightning strike (he was certain Nina would hold any damage that would cause over his head forever.)

“I’m sure,” Muriel murmured, shifting uncomfortably at Crowley’s grilling. “I have no idea if I made any attempt to enter Heaven during the time we can’t account for, but I certainly didn’t report Upstairs in the weeks following my acquiring the bookshop. I tried all morning and afternoon to gain access to Heaven- no luck. Not even a hint anyone had received or even noticed my attempts to request entrance.”

Crowley wanted to snap that Muriel had acquired nothing. The bookshop belonged to one Angel and one Angel only, but he bit his tongue just short of drawing blood and growled softly, raking his fingers through his hair in frustration.

“I take it that’s unusual is it?” Maggie asked tentatively, earning a harsh bark of laughter from Crowley.

“You could say that. Apparently his Supremeness either found out about me sneaking in and doesn’t want a repeat, or he really wants to make sure I can’t gain access regardless of if he knows about last time,” Crowley replied.

Drumming her fingers against her knee, Nina shook her head, unsatisfied by that explanation. “I don’t know mate. Seems too big a jump to go from the Mr. Fell who left to now having him seal off… well, you know...” she trailed off, still having trouble wrapping her head around the world of the occult and ethereal she’d been plunged into.

“I agree. There’s got to be a larger trigger here. Something specific had to have set him off,” Maggie nodded.

After a moment, Muriel chimed in, “I supposed if you put it that way, isn’t it obvious?” When the looks directed back at them made it clear that it was indeed, not obvious, they continued a little more forcefully, “You must have snuck back into Heaven again Mr.- I mean, Crowley. Think about it! The Supreme Archangel finding out you snuck in last time wouldn’t give him enough reason to lock Heaven now. Something had to have happened to make him feel a security breach was a more active threat, and how many other Demons can you think of that would voluntarily go anywhere near Heaven?”

Crowley had to admit, what Muriel said wasn’t wrong. Of all the tactics Hell had ever used, they had always stopped short of attempting any actual infiltration of Heaven, all efforts focused solely on Earth. Crowley may consider Hell beyond incompetent, but not even the stupidest Demon would be willing to risk almost certain discorporation by going Upstairs uninvited.

Until Crowley had seen Aziraphale in danger and was just desperate enough to risk it.

“Hell of a lot of good that does us,” Crowley grumbled irritably. “Even if past me was stupid enough to go back again, that still gives us no answers to why I would think that would be anything other than a massive waste of time.”

“You and he did plenty of messing with minds at the ball,” Nina countered, “Why don’t you just… snap your fingers, wave your hand, whatever it even is you do and reverse whatever was done to us?”

“Miracles don’t work that way,” Muriel replied simply. “They can be tricky at the best of times, even for those most experienced in them.”

“And even the best miracles have their limits,” Crowley added with a sigh.“ Things would certainly be different otherwise. Wouldn't be much of a way to keep Heaven and Hell in line if all Miracles could be undone just like that. No consequences for going against orders if you can simply miracle them away. No way to actually fight the opposition if you can shut down each other's every move just like that.”

Probably worked in our favor with Jim, Crowley thought. It would have made for a very different argument if restoring “Jim’s” memories had been possible and Aziraphale had been attempting to convince Crowley to help in that way, rather than by simply hiding him. Very unlikely he’d have been willing to risk actively restoring the being who had tried to burn hi-the Angel.

“Bottom line,” Crowley continued, shaking himself out of his reverie, “We’re not likely to get anywhere unless we figure out what we’re missing that Az-the Supreme Archangel is working so hard to keep us from knowing.”

“With Heavenly and Hellish power off the table, where does that leave us?” Muriel asked, nervously fiddling with the throw pillow they’d grasped in their lap.

“Really hoping you’re not about to say there’s some other third entity we haven’t heard about yet,” Maggie chuckled nervously, causing Crowley to sit up straighter.

“Not unless you count humans as a third entity… weeell, technically human… he might not have accounted for that, could be worth a go…” He muttered, the others watching his mind whirring before Nina finally huffed in irritation, “Mind sharing with the rest of the class?”

Ignoring her questions with a dismissive wave, Crowley pulled out his phone, snapping his fingers to miracle the phone to pull up the number he needed, only waiting a few moments before responding with an almost imperceptible sigh of relief, “Hello? Book girl? What do you mean you… You seriously knew I was going to… Rolling his eyes, Crowley cut off, “Of course you did. I’ll save my breath then. How long till you can be here?” Nodding, Crowley merely gave a few more affirmative grunts and hums before ending the call.

“And that call was…” Maggie trailed off, Crowley finally turning his attention back to the room with a mischievous curl of his lips.

“Another power source to try using in getting our memories back, one that if we’re lucky a certain Supreme Archangel won’t have accounted for,” Crowley grinned. “Courtesy of a certain descendant of a certain witch.”

Previous Chapter

[wooahaes]

to dye for

pairing: non-idol!woozi x gn!reader

prompt: soulmate au series. 4/13

word count: 2.4k

warnings: small bit of angst over jihoon thinking he doesn’t have a soulmate. jihoon gets kinda yelled at for dyeing his hair. 

daisy’s notes: ok ignore the fact im posting this not even a full day later and also the fact the ending is bad!! a girl is trying rn.

summary: Jihoon doesn’t have a soulmate. He’s positive. He’s never shown the signs before. And yet one lost bet against Soonyoung results in dyed hair and a surprise the next morning…

For a really long time, Jihoon had been positive he didn’t have a soulmate. His parents had comforted him over it (which, at age ten, made him feel... weird. Lost. Like he was broken). It felt weirder when he grew up, listening to classmates talk about their signs. Weirder in college, where he watched people run into their soulmates or make an active effort in finding them. And maybe it started to stop feeling so bad when he met his current circle of friends, who, despite their initial efforts, began to let him cope with his feelings as he needed to: through his music.

They initially had tried to tell him that soulmates were overrated--Soonyoung later ended up confiding in him that he hadn’t shown any signs, and neither did Vernon or Seokmin--and that plenty of people didn’t have a soulmate and were fine on their own. Jihoon shouldn’t feel incomplete (which, actually, Jihoon never said?) or alone because he wasn’t: he had his friends, and he could always date later on if he chose to. Maybe the comfort was a little misguided and something he hadn’t asked for, but he could appreciate it. That conversation happened long before three members of their friend circle found their soulmates, the most recent having been two months ago. That led to questions, and listening to those questions led to other people (namely the ones without signs) to get a little too caught up in thoughts.

There was comfort in knowing they weren’t alone, though. Soonyoung had confessed to Jihoon that he was glad that, if he didn’t have a soulmate, that maybe the other people in the circle would help him feel more normal. It wasn’t as lonely an existence if you had other people with the same circumstance. It hurt, though: Jihoon could see how starry-eyed Soonyoung would get over the idea of a soulmate.

And, honestly, Jihoon couldn’t lie: he knew he spent too much time checking his skin for words, for a name, or pinching himself and hoping to feel someone else pinch back or to taste what they’re eating or to start missing colors. Maybe he was a late bloomer. He never voiced those things to anyone, and he never planned on it. If the others believed he didn’t care about having a soulmate, then it was fine. He could be fine like that. The idea of someone being built-in to love you was... hard to swallow, after all. Love took time. Despite the way that Seungkwan seemed to claim that he and his soulmate were getting along perfectly from day one (Vernon had given him a weird look that quickly disproved that statement), Jihoon knew that you had to fall in love with someone slowly, the way Wonwoo and his soulmate seemed to be moving. So he had focused his energy elsewhere in the meantime, working on his music throughout his entire life.

It gave him something to do. He never heard anyone sing back when he sang, though, so mark that one off the list. He sang often enough to himself that his soulmate should have sung something back so he knew they were alive. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Are you sure you want to do this?“ Joshua asked for the third time that night, mixing up developer with the lightener.

It wasn’t as if he could go back now, products already open and mixed, but Jihoon could appreciate the check-in.

“I can always just bleach someone else’s hair,” he said, pulling the gloves on. “I’m sure Mingyu would be okay with it. He’s been wanting to go blonde for a while--”

“It’s fine,” Jihoon said, looking at the box of bright pink dye in his hands. One lost bet against Soonyoung and of course it’d be the one that’d result in him dyeing his hair. He’d already donned one of Joshua’s old shirts just to keep from ruining his own clothes. “Just do it.”

Joshua nodded, and began to section out parts of his hair. “You really got unlucky with this one,” he hummed, already beginning to apply the bleach to the end of his hairs. “But you’re also really lucky that I’ve done this enough times for Jeonghan that I won’t fry your hair.”

He resisted the urge to nod, just humming in acknowledgement as Joshua continued to work carefully. Loser had to dye their hair the color of the winner’s choice, and Soonyoung had spent approximately half a second before grabbing cotton candy pink off the shelf when he saw it. The bet was stupid, but it was.. whatever at this point. No point in dwelling on it. All of their friends were sitting out in the living room, waiting as Soonyoung likely entertained the crowd while Jihoon sat through this bleaching process. Joshua sang softly under his breath the same lyrics that he had been working on with Jihoon for the past few weeks whenever Joshua wasn’t busy with work.

“You went too high,” Jihoon said offhandedly, trying to distract himself from the box dye in his hands. He left his phone out in the other room, and he already knew that Soonyoung was probably filling it with silly dumb selfies that Jihoon would delete half of before filing the rest away for blackmail (and maybe a little bit because that was his best friend, too--he’d made one dumb rap song with Soonyoung before just to tease Seungcheol, after all).

Joshua merely chuckled as he continued to work, finishing the application at his roots. “So... Do you wanna go back out while it’s setting--”

“No.”

Joshua laughed. “I’ll grab your phone so you can do something,” he said, setting aside everything. “Then we’ll go pink, alright?”

He just nodded, watching Joshua disappear from the bathroom before he let out a sigh. The bleach burned and smelled like shit, but there was no going back at this point. He could already see the way his hair was lightening. Soonyoung better watch his ass if the pink looked awful on him. Jihoon could hear someone laughing--Junhui’s laugh, Jihoon was positive that he knew it anywhere--in the other room. He could hear the muffled sound of Joshua calling out for someone to give him Jihoon’s phone, someone else laughing (Seungcheol, Jihoon thought, but he wasn’t positive because whoever it was was farther away from the bathroom than Jun and it was harder to hear). The door opened a moment later.

“He’s not coming out until it’s done,” Joshua called back over his shoulder, before stepping back in. He handed over Jihoon’s phone before sinking down to sit on the floor, pulling out his own. “Soonyoung had it,” he said. “Just so you know.”

Jihoon set his contact photo to the stupidest selfie that Soonyoung took. “You don’t have to stay in here.”

“It’s fine,” Joshua said. “I’ve gotta keep an eye on it anyway. For what it’s worth... I think it’ll look good,” he said. Jihoon glanced up to see Joshua already smiling at him, eyes lit up with that mischievous look he’d get whenever he was around Jeonghan. “Pink might be your color.”

The next half hour was spent in relative quiet, aside from the occasional talk of the song they were working on. Lyrical changes Jihoon wanted to make to make things flow smoother, the guiding track he was almost done working on. Joshua could come up any time and get in the booth and get his part of the work over with, and Jihoon was happy to work with him. It’d come soon enough. The bleach was washed out soon enough, Joshua humming to himself again.

Joshua knew this process well enough, apparently. Soon enough they’d dried his hair completely and Jihoon was watching him mix up the pink dye. His hair was covered in it again, and he stared at the pink stains along his skin as Joshua started to clean them up.

“It’ll look good,” he promised again.

Jihoon shut his eyes as Joshua helped wash out that second round of dye. He was never taking stupid bets again. Even if the sound of the group losing their shit at his new hair color, dried and styled with the help of Joshua, was amusing to hear. Even Seungcheol, who couldn’t see the exact color (and started shouting for people to take pictures because he wanted to see it, and he would), made Jihoon laugh.

Maybe he’d keep it until his roots started coming back in. He promised at least a full week with it. He’d have to steal Soonyoung’s color-safe shampoo, but it’d be fine. Soonyoung owed him that at least.

The two returned home after a night of drinks and games with their friends, and Jihoon took one last look at himself after running through his nightly routine before he started to fiddle with his hair. It looked good. He honestly kind of liked it, if he was being honest. He ruffled his hair a little more, and resolved to find away to make it look better in the morning.

And then he woke up to his hair dyed a completely different color--a more natural shade than the bright ass pink he’d had--and Jihoon suddenly realized that he had a soulmate. 

He grabbed Soonyoung and made an appointment at whatever place would take him that same day to dye his hair another color. Fuck waiting. It might be a dick move, especially if you went out and spend good money erasing the aftermath of a lost bet on his end, but you could be mad at him once you found each other. A place took the appointment, and soon enough he was sitting in a chair listening to Soonyoung joke that Jihoon should thank him with dinner that night since he wouldn’t have discovered his sign without him.

(He’d do that, in the end, because Soonyoung... did deserve something. Jihoon was fully ready to go his entire life with his natural color, and unless you decided to dye your hair, he’d never find out you were out there.)

He went bleach blonde again, and then bright red. He could stand out in crowds like that, if he was lucky enough that you were in the city. When it was dyed back days later, he went bright purple. Again, and he kept it bright yellow. Any loud and proud sign that he was right there and looking for you. Someone joked that all it took was one bet with Soonyoung for Jihoon to decide he liked dyeing his hair. They shut up immediately when he made it clear that his soulmate would have the same shade and to stop whoever they had to for him. Everyone promised to keep a look out, and he was more than thankful. Someone had thought they found you, but the shades of green were too far off: his was neon, the other person’s was a little too dark.

He did meet her, though, and wished her well. She told him to keep looking. They’d find their soulmates eventually. Jihoon let himself hold onto that hope for once.

Before his appointments, he started going to beauty stores in order to get ideas on what color to go next. It felt silly to repeat colors so soon, and he was torn between maybe bright orange to replace the pastel blue he’d settled on before. You hadn’t dyed your hair again, but Jihoon was waiting for it. He was thankful for soulmate discounts, the documented pictures of his hair being dyed back too quick while his hair stayed healthy enough to prove that this was a soulmate thing, otherwise his bank account would be hurting too hard for him to keep doing this.

He pulled up his phone, snapping a picture of the oranges he was debating between. He’d send it into the group chat to get a second opinion. He could hear the door to the store chime from where he stood, and he started typing out his message.

“YOU.”

Jihoon looked to see... you. You, standing there at the end of the aisle with the same bright blue hair, were fuming. He could see the cashier already nervous, leaning forward enough to see him as you made your approach.

“You absolute fucking dick. Do you know how mortifying it is to be in the middle of a meeting when your hair starts turning platinum blonde?! My coworkers wouldn’t stop laughing because I got stuck with the schmuck who has a weird thing for dyeing his hair! They keep looking at me weird because I tried to cover it up the first few times before my boss told me to stop killing my hair!” You balled your fists, and Jihoon could say nothing as you let out a groan. “It’s bullshit! I mean, okay, cool, we found each other because of this, but I can’t keep going to work like this!” You motioned toward your hair. “I need people to take me seriously!”

Jihoon gaped at you, unsure of what to say. “Sorry,” he settled on. “I just wanted to find you.”

“So did I, asshole,” you huffed, crossing your arms. “We’re getting that shit removed right now even if I have to pay for it.”

“I really think you should just dye your hair,” Jihoon said. “I don’t think mine can handle it.”

He watched the anger slowly drain from your face as it suddenly dawned on you that... you found him. Even if you’d been pissed before, his bright colors had led you to him in the end, just as they were supposed to. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You let out a sigh, “and that one of my friends was in the area. He tipped me off and swore the colors matched.” You looked at him and then smiled, introducing yourself. “Your soulmate, I guess.”

“Jihoon,” he said. “Do you wanna... talk more?”

You laughed softly. “Yeah,” you said, taking a step back. “I think that’d be good. Just... no more hair dye after this, yeah? I’m sure the pink looked way better on you than it did me.” You stared at him for a moment, noticing the way that color had begun flooding into his face. “It definitely does now, at least.”

This would be a fun story in the future, at least. He erased his text to his friends, deleting the picture off the message, and replaced it with a “I found them. I’ll update you guys later.” before Jihoon made a call to his usual stylist. He’d sit with you the entire time while you were getting your hair fixed, already deciding that he liked you. The hair dye he could promise to avoid, but the way you were already turning his face red? That one he couldn’t.

And honestly? He didn’t want to. You could turn his face red any day with your cute quips and quirks and Jihoon would be completely fine with it.

[galaxythreads]

Honestly I always just assumed that it was only the power stone that could vaporize you by touch (because it’s the *power stone*) but everyone always says that it’s all the stones. So I’m wondering if there’s any time where another stone hurts someone just by touching it? I haven’t been watching any mcu recently, especially not the newer stuff, so maybe that’s why I didn’t know?

no worries! When Fury touches the outer casing of the Tesseract in Avengers 1, he is visibly in pain and he has to shake his hand to get rid of the numbness.

(do not have gif of this, but it's when he's putting the Tesseract in the suitcase before Clint shoots him in the chest and Loki says "please don't, I still need that")

^ Red Skull is vaporized when he tries to break the Tesseract in Cap 1:

^ just lightly touching the mind stone activates Wanda's innate magic 3000 + gave Pietro his powers

^ ULTRON won't touch the mind stone

^ Raw energy of the tesseract gives Carol her powers

^ CONTACT ALONE with the power stone is enough to make Thor scream

+ the scene you were talking about from gotg1 with the power stone

^ an enormous plot point of TDW is that hours after getting possessed by the infinity stone, Jane is on the brink of death. Is it instant vaporization, no, but I think that's only because it's not in one go, she's taking it in her body like a fluid, so there's more skin to absorb the power, if that makes sense?

+ other examples I'm too tired to think of. Like vaporization is only shown with the Power Stone on screen, but all of them clearly have an adverse effect when you touch them and we know that even though they don't state it explicitly because of the WAY the infinity stones are presented to us. ALL of them (except the soul stone) are encased in something to make it easier to touch. That was done on purpose, not just convenience. if you watch mcu infinity saga closely, you'll notice just how much care was put into making the infinity stones visibly powerful without ever having to say anything about it. People use the magic from them, but they rarely, if ever, actually touch the stone.

i.g.

the scepter ^

^ an entire magic spell has to be cast in order to OPEN the necklace that holds the time stone, let alone USE it. it's dangerous to touch, so they have it locked away

^ he's USING the time stone, but look how much effort was made into NOT touching it

when he gives Thanos the time stone he makes an effort NOT to touch it

^ the reality stone is consumed by Jane, but any time anything tries to touch her, a magic shield appears that protects it from threats (Also couldn't find a gif of this, but again, massive plot point of TDW is that they can't get the aether out without Malekith's help)

HOWEVER. you are right. People do touch the Infinity Stones with what is basically bare hands a lot, but not really until Endgame/Infinity War

So...rules are fluid? I guess? Personally, I just don't understand why so many infinity stones would be encased in such powerful objects for protection unless it WAS dangerous to touch them

The Tesseract was put in shatter-proof glass that survived centuries, the Soul Stone is...under some sort of spell via God(?)(unclear), the aether was broken into pieces so it's evil kool aid (which is a protectio device because you can touch the bits of the aether without it killing you, rather than the entire infinity stone), the time stone is in a necklace you have to use magic to open, the power stone was hidden in an unbreakable orb and the mind stone was encased in the scepter (Thanos might have done this himself, also unclear)

The point is that I think MCU didn't really decide one way or the other, and even if they DID, thanos is intended to be a bit sturdier than the average human, so him making contact wouldn't vaporize him instantly, I think.

[alynnl]

I have one more Great Ace Attorney AU that I actually came up with as I was actively playing through case 2-3 (Return of the Great Departed Soul.)

My notes aren't quite polished enough to share the long version, but I have a few key ideas I can share.

It all started with a question. "What would happen if Albert Harebrayne got kidnapped and held for ransom?"

And Barok van Zieks gets the ransom note

Only the demands aren't for money, but instead for Van Zieks to get a guilty verdict in an upcoming trial

Kazuma has gone off on "personal business" so he's not Van Zieks's co-counsel this time around

Ryunosuke and Susato are the opposing counsel, of course

The trial is a murder trial because in Ace Attorney, it's always murder

In this case, it's the murder of someone who'd been recently reported missing

The defendant is a young Italian stage magician who was just making his debut (who I really want to come up with a pun name for)

Herlock Sholmes is there. He's been investigating a string of missing persons cases in the background

Stage magic + missing persons cases = a great idea for a title. Adventure of the Great Vanishing Act

After a very stressful first day of trial and additional investigation, Ryunosuke and Susato approach Van Zieks because they know he's not himself

It takes some effort on Ryunosuke's part, but Van Zieks comes clean about the ransom note, and how he doesn't want to lose one of his friends the day he was supposed to get him out of England to save him from the Reaper's Curse

Sholmes arrives and he's heard everything. And he reassures everyone that he can rescue Albert, since he's close to cracking the missing persons case

There's a major moment (reminiscent of Farewell my Turnabout) where Ryunosuke, Susato and Van Zieks agree to prolong the trial as long as they can to give Sholmes enough time to get Albert out of danger

I'm floating the idea of Iris being Sholmes's investigation partner during that part of the story because you can't have a Dance of Deduction solo

Albert takes matters into his own hands and sets off a small explosion (on purpose this time) just to let people know where he is (when in doubt, blow something up!)

This explosion tips Sholmes off to his location, and after a brief reunion, the Great Detective whisks Professor Harebrayne away to the Old Bailey

Ryunosuke and Van Zieks have given it their all in the courtroom. Van Zieks has no doubt that the young magician is not guilty. Sholmes hasn't arrived yet, but there is no other way to stall the trial. He knows he couldn't live with himself, nor would Albert forgive him if he sent a perfectly innocent young man to the gallows

"The Prosecution... Rests."

Ryunosuke can't come up with anything else either. "The Defense... Rests."

Mere minutes before a verdict is called, there is a last minute "Hold it!"

Sholmes arrives, with Albert in tow. "Forgive my tardiness, ladies and gentlemen! I had a very important promise to keep!"

The Judge asks why they're even here, since the trial seems to have reached its logical conclusion

Sholmes goes on to suggest that the proceedings can't end here, since it's possible that the true culprit behind the murder and the vanished Londoners might be sitting in the gallery.

Ryunosuke suggests that both Albert Harebrayne and Herlock Sholmes testify, since they are both important witnesses. "We have a survivor and... The Great Detective who discovered one of the culprit's hideouts!"

Van Zieks agrees to let them testify. He looks at Albert in particular when he mentions he fully supports the idea.

Their testimony and evidence (including the ransom note sent to Van Zieks) point out the actual mastermind

The culprit is desperate (and perhaps foolish) enough to try and attack the witnesses. Sholmes gets Albert behind him, and quickly has the suspect on the ground with a single blow.

The bailiff takes him away, much to the relief of everyone present.

When there's once again order in the court, the Judge finally calls a verdict of Not Guilty for the young magician, who can hardly believe what just happened in his trial

I'm still working on the post-trial scenes. (As much as the other scenes.) But I have a few details worked out.

The young magician will go back to Italy, both to escape the Reaper's Curse and reconcile with his family

Van Zieks doesn't directly thank Ryunosuke and the others but he recognizes their abilities. And he knows when they're in the courtroom, the truth will be brought to light

Albert apologizes profusely to everyone, feeling like he's just caused them all a great deal of trouble once again

Ryunosuke gets the feeling of de ja vu as he gives Professor Harebrayne the reassurance that none of this was his fault at all

Van Zieks can tell how tired Albert is and offers to take him home. "You need food and rest. You've been through a lot, Albert."

Ryunosuke is completely taken aback on how gentle Van Zieks sounds. He accidentally says this out loud and receives an icy glare in return

Barok and Albert share supper together at the professor's home. They also share a conversation.

Barok isn't proud of the way he first responded to the ransom note

Albert tells him "I might have acted the same way, if I was in your shoes."

In the very end, it's seen as the best thing for Albert to leave Britain after all (in this AU he was trying to stay to prove a point.)

Barok quietly agrees. Then he humbly asks Albert to write to him once he's reached Germany, and mentions that he will keep in touch.

At Baker St, Ryunosuke, Susato, Iris and Sholmes are having their own supper. Sholmes excitedly explains how he found a notebook with details about the other missing Londoners in the same building he found Albert Harebrayne. Since then, the rest of the citizens have been returned home

Ryunosuke couldn't believe how tough (and how personal) today's trial became, but he knows as long as he has the others to help him, he can overcome any challenges in the courtroom

Everyone at Baker St. shares a toast with Iris's tea, to victory and unbreakable bonds

[irrealisms]

i haven't posted anything about ccs in months, nor have i listened to lovejoy's most recent album or done anything to financially support them for over a year now. i will continue not doing so, and probably try to step back even further from parasocial investment in this stuff. remember: we don't know these people. never trust a famous man. being uncomfortable with speculation was understandable as an initial stance, but the pieces are there, and she's now tweeted that the reason she hasn't named her abuser isn't because she doesn't want to (and was more likely due to safety/legal fears), which removes one of my main concerns about posting publicly about this rather than keeping my thoughts private. ultimately, if there's any chance that the speculation is accurate--and it seems like it's a pretty big chance, if not outright undeniable at this point--i'd rather not risk it. in general i think it's worth stepping back from parasocial relationships with people who i don't actually know; i did this somewhat when the dream allegations came out, and i'll be making an effort to do it further.

i still post about c!dream on occasion and in general i maintain a strong c/cc divide; i will likely be doing the same going forward w/ c!wilbur, although i'm not entirely sure yet. if you want to unfollow bc you don't want to see characters closely tied to ppl who are most likely irl abusers, that's fair enough and i wish you the best.

ultimately the important thing here imo is to support shubble. i don't have a twitter or anything and i'm not very active on tumblr and wasn't sure at first what i wanted to say about this, so i'm just going to promo some of her videos: i really enjoyed her most recent video, of minecraft hide and seek with friends; i also really liked her pov of afterlife and empires (this playlist has both her s1 and s2), although i admit i haven't watched all of her empires yet! and for qsmp enjoyers she's also been editing and putting up videos of her time in purgatory 2, rn she's got her invitation and her day one up :D i will readily admit i haven't watched all of her series but she's also been in witchcraft, new life, etc-- if you haven't watched any of her videos before, now's a good time to check her out. she's got great vibes and fun content.

(this is unrebloggable bc it's primarily a note about my blog going forward and what i plan to do on it, for the people following me-- if people want the links and such in a different post i can do that)