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#and now i feel like i'm doing even worse than i normally would because of the circumstances of learning the news
bigification · 1 day
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Handlebars
Day 1:
My first day of college was a lot more stressful than I thought it would be. I finally made it to residence last night, which only gave me one night to get settled before classes started. I was nervous to meet my roommate because of all of the horror stories I had heard about them in the past, but it ended up being so much worse than I expected. In my mind, the worst outcome was some lazy douche who never cleaned up after himself. So you can imagine my shock when I knock on the door and a full grown 30 something year old man answers the door.
"Hey, buddy. The names Mike, come on in."
He looked and sounded like a jock in a college movie, but when the actor is actually 30. His voice was deep and buttery, it almost gave me butterflies. I just smiled awkwardly and walked past him through the door.
"I'm Oscar by the way." I introduced myself.
"Cool, I'll just call you Handlebars." He said, without a care in the world.
He sat down on his bed, and that was the extent of our interactions for the day.
Day 7:
It's been a week and all my other worries about roommates came true. Not only is he 15 years older than me, he's a slob. He gets home from the gym drenched in sweat and throws his gym clothes wherever without cleaning them. He doesn't do his dishes, or any chore for that matter. In fact it seems like he intentionally keeps the place dirty after I try to clean it. And whatever musky cologne he wears attacks my nose every time I open the door, it feels like the smell seeps into everything, including my clothes.
The few times that he actually wants a chore to be done, he just asks me to do it, or rather he just tells me to do it. Normally I would be happy to tell him to go fuck himself, but I always find myself doing whatever he asks. I hate it.
"Yo Handlebars, be a doll and clean the dishes for me."
"Yo Handlebars, I ran out of clean gym clothes, mind running em down to the laundry for me."
It's like he's casting a spell whenever he talks.
Day 15:
I've started to settle into routine. The things that used to bother me about Mike seem a bit more trivial now. We've even started to become pretty close. I get enthralled by his conversations about business. He goes on and on about his father's enterprises, and how they'll be his soon.
I even started going to the gym with him lately. He lent me some of his gym clothes, even if they're way too big. It just made me appreciate him more. I never really clocked how jacked he was, sometimes he goes to the gym shirtless and it shows off his massive pecs and thick biceps.
Since joining him, I've noticed my body has improved quite significantly. I used to be skinny and lanky, but there is definition starting to show throughout my body.
Day 30:
Just a month into school and I was already on my way to failing out. I just don't care about it anymore, but Mike gave me a solution. He said I could just switch programs and do business with him, and his dad would even pay for it. How could I pass that up.
Now that I've switched, it's like all stress in my life has disappeared. Business is so easy, and now I have more time with Mike. We usually have a routine of going to the gym after our last class of the day.
"Yo Handlebars, you're lookin strong man. I'd kill to grow as fast as you."
He shouted at me from across the gym, when he caught me staring at myself in the mirror. Butterflies flew through my stomach when he said that. And he wasn't wrong, I've been noticing a lot of changes in my body. My face has matured, my eyebrows are thicker, my nose is bigger, and my jawline is more square. I even have to shave now, when I never had to before college. A five o'clock shadow engulfs my face by the end of the day, especially above my lip. The rest of my body has gotten hairier too, especially around my pecs, arms, and legs. And that's not even mentioning my progress at the gym. I actually look like I belong there, my biceps have a nice roundness to them and my chest actually sticks out from my body. Those gym clothes that Mike gave me look smaller and smaller every day.
Life in the dorms has also been a dream. I've been wearing that cologne that Mike loves, and it's like I unlocked a whole new level of confidence. People seem to love listening to me talk, and people seem to respect me more.
Day 60:
This past month has been the best month of my life. Now that I'm in my mid twenties, I can drink whenever I want. Mike and I go out raves and frat parties basically every night, my body is basically used to every drug at this point. And with Mike's dad paying for college, I literally don't need to show up to lectures and I get straight A's.
"Fuck, bro. I think you're bigger than me Handlebars."
Mike said with a shocked face when we were snapping pics at the gym. We flexed beside each other, and it was obvious. My biceps dwarfed his, and his gym clothes had become really tight on me lately. The shirt was skin tight against my upper body, showing off my juicy pecs and my growing six pack. And the shorts looked like they were about to burst under the pressure of my ass cheeks and thighs, to the point that the outline of my dick was constantly visible.
"Here bro, take this."
Mike handed me a package. It was filled with gym clothes and jocks.
"Just for you Handlebars."
I yanked him in for a bro hug, I could feel myself blushing.
"You got this all for me bro?"
"Fuck yeah, man. You've been grinding it out in the gym, don't think I haven't noticed my clothes straining against those muscles. And you need something to contain that snake in your pants before we get campus security called on us."
Mike chuckled, his laugh was infectious.
Day 100:
I started in the mirror. Sometimes I barely recognize myself. The confident and cocky mask goes away when I'm alone, just leaving the caring gym bro that's on the true inside.
Damn, I think to myself, Mike is making me too sappy. I give myself a cocky smile after shaving my face, leaving me with a thick moustache. I flex, admiring my guns and bouncing my pecs. Man I look good for a man pushing his thirties.
"Fuck, handlebars. Since when were you so hairy?" Mike asked me when I left the bathroom.
"What? Are you jealous I'm manlier than you bro?" I taunted him by opening my button up wider, revealing the thick pelt of hair that covered my body.
"Nah, it's got me feelin something tho." He smirked at me.
"Hah, I fuckin knew it. You want a piece of this." I bounced my pecs.
"Don't make it gay bro, it's not like that. Just a dude admiring another dude." He blushed.
The tension between us had been building for weeks. He would stand too close when spotting me at the gym, and I'd catch him staring at me in the mirror. Not like I haven't been doin it too. We also wear less clothes around the dorm. I still got that jock strap Mike gave me a while back, I'd be lying to myself if I said it fit but I don't care, and it seems like Mike doesn't mind either. And sometimes I wear an open button up just cuz it makes my pecs pop.
Day 120:
"You have no idea how long I've waited for this." Mike whispered in my ear. His breath was heavy as he threw me against the wall. His dick was bouncing with excitement against my ass.
For context, a few hours ago we were at the gym like normal. At this point, we didn't even go to class, it was just gym and parties now. The tension had been growing at the gym forever, sometimes we'd release by foolin around in the showers, but it never went further a quick handjob when no one was lookin. It was different this time, he couldn't keep his hands off me. Broad daylight in a busy gym, his hands would be far down my shorts, teasing.
At first I was dismissive. We already got caught multiple times by campus security, so close to getting kicked out of school. If it wasn't for Mike's dad being a rich alumni, I think both of us would be long gone by now. But he knew how to push my buttons, he always has. I gave in, but had the decency to drag him by the collar to the showers. At least there we could be naked.
Ok, back to the point. I grunted as his thick arms held me in place. Mike had been working extra hard to catch up to me, and it was showin. It turned me on, feelin his muscled forearms against my shoulders. But I wasn't gonna let him win that easily. What Mike seemed to forget was the near decade I spent in the Navy before comin to college.
I whipped around, using the hot water against our skin to slip out from his pin. I pushed his shoulder, sending him tripping over my foot, which I had conveniently placed behind his. I caught him like a damsel in distress, so there was no doubt in his mind who was on top.
Within seconds, it's like my training kicked in and I had him pinned down on his stomach. The bristles of my thick mustache rubbed against the back of his ear as I whispered, "You really thought you could top me?" I asked with a chuckle.
He moaned like a twink when I stuck my cock up his ass. It took a moment for his ass to adjust to takin a beatin rather than dishin one out, but he'll get used to it. The wet fur on my forearm slid across his back as I rode him like a bull. I could almost feel his organs rearrangin to fit my 10 inch rod.
I groaned as I felt months of sexual tension release in seconds, shooting my seed all through Mike's body. He was mine. And by the looks of it, he enjoyed the ride too. A trail of his cum ran from under his pinned body, to the drain in the middle of the showers.
"You're mine."
I whispered in his ear with a shit eatin grin.
"Now clean this mess up before you dare come back to my dorm."
I pushed off his back to get to my feet. I continued rubbing my cock as I walked away, making ropes of cum cover the showers. I walked right out of the showers and into the locker room, making sure to wink at campus security on the way out. Someone always calls them, and we always get away with it Scott free, so I think they gave up. It just feels good to make people know they're beneath you, and to do it while rubbin one out.
I cleaned up and walked alone to my dorm, sat on my couch, and waited for Mike to come back. After a few minutes, he walked in without a word. He walked over to me and laid in my lap as I turned on football. I smelled his hair, making sure he actually cleaned up like I ordered.
"Good boy." I reassured him while massaging his pecs.
Day 150:
I finally moved our stuff out of my shitty dorm. Mikey's father just decided to pay for our diplomas outright, instead of trying to turn all of our F's into A's.
We moved to L.A. and I fuckin love it here. I just walk around in nothin but a jock, and people love me for it. And there are so many entrepreneurs like me, so much money to be made.
Everyone just calls me handlebars, I can't remember the last time anyone called me my name. Now that I think about it, I don't even remember what it was, but who the fuck cares. I'm handlebars, the life of the party and the best fuck in this city.
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yolli-es · 1 day
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Please, I'm really sorry
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Tags: NO spoilers for season 2, sadness, rude treatment, mentions of death
I doubt this is in character, so treat it as a silly sketch. Writing text is harder than headcanons..
MY ENGLISH IS BAD AND THERE MAY BE MEANING ERRORS
You adore Jinx; you love and tolerate her. Your acquaintance was unexpected, and your subsequent friendship was spontaneous. You were choking with tears after losing your mother when she found you. This girl saved you so easily, as if it were so easy. Jinx never told you about the past, but when the voices in her head became too loud, you didn't need an explanation. You saw how bad she becomes and what consequences it can bring. Afterwards, you promise yourself to always be there so that you can prevent the irreparable. This was not always successful.
After Silko died, things got really bad. Jinx tried to continue his work, to be strong and collected. But this is Jinx. Your Jinx. And she never was and never will be like this. Maybe that's why she's been so rude to you, taking it out on you because she's under so much stress. Sooner or later it will all end, and she will be able to look at you again without irritation.
You forgive Jinx for everything: the harsh words, the insults, the hits. Because she always apologizes after. And you don't care that it's not sincere at all. You love her; she is the only thing you have.
The day started out quite normally. You and Jinx were sitting in Silko's office, which is still called that way to this day, on the initiative of Jinx herself. It was all quite nice: she decided to share with you many thoughts about the future, which happened quite rarely. But then Sevika came in. And with her came terrible news. Shimmer production had been disrupted again. The enforcers blew up the plant, dealing with the guards there without any particular problems. And she just walked out after saying that. Just one look from Jinx made it clear how bad she was feeling right now,
"It's not your fault, and..." — you're interrupted by a rude "shut up." Jinx, who had been sitting on the table quite relaxed, now clutched her head, her eyes closed, and her breathing quickened. Just a few moments ago she was vulnerable, and now she's rude to you again. "You don't understand me at all," Jinx said in a breaking voice, hiding her face in her knees. It was painful to hear. We have been through a lot together. But she's worse off, and you step over yourself again: "I love you, Jinx. What do you want me to do?". You tell her this so often, so sincerely and naively. Her reaction to your words is always different; you can never guess, and now she again hits you: "I want you to stop being so useless and just help me." Jinx whispered, still struggling with her emotions. She hadn't let herself get angry, panicked, or sad that easily since Silko died. No tears. She kept herself under control. And is that what she thought all along? It's your fault; you're just doing a shitty job. Obviously, sitting here with her is not what she wanted. It looks so painful for you. The girl you love is suffering so much; why don't you just make it easier? That day you stayed, having endured many insults and a couple of blows.
Usually you stayed by Jinx's side, always supporting her and helping her with many tasks. For example, maintaining her authority in the city, keeping an eye out for possible rats nearby, and always saving your love from nervous breakdowns. But now you're by Sevika's side, at a shimmer production plant. You didn't tell Jinx anything; you didn't even think she would ask and worry. You need to act more decisively, as she wanted it. The task was simple: wait until the enforcers come here and destroy them. You were never a good fighter, just a decent shot. Your skills were enough to protect yourself on the streets of Zaun, but they were nothing against well-trained law enforcement officers. That's why you stayed on the sidelines, watching from above and covering Sevika.
You realized how much you screwed up with this shit when you found yourself in the middle of a shootout. Things didn't go according to plan when Sevika was shot, and now you had to save her. Letting the woman lean on you, you ran upstairs. The sounds of gunshots, explosions, and screams confirmed your fears: this plant is finished. Neither the shimmer nor the people were saved. Adrenaline was pumping through you, and you didn't notice anything except the cherished goal.
You reached a safe place and fell. The rest was like a dream. Sevika sat next to you, trying to close the open wound. She tied it with a rag, shouting something about the presence of shimmer nearby. The wound seems to be on your legs, chest, and head. It was painful and cold. Severe weakness. How the hell did enforcers get you? You couldn't think, let alone remember. This woman was shaking you, trying to make you think, but you had already given up. You had lost, and you had screwed up so badly, Jinx would never forgive you. Sevika shouted something, and you didn't really listen; you just couldn't. And then your gaze focused on a blue spot... Jinx? You wanted to look at her one last time. She may be disappointed in you, angry, or simply empty towards you, but all this will not matter as long as she is here. Your eyes closed for just a moment.
" ...orr..."—You can't see, only distantly hear. Such a nice sound; you've heard it before. The noise makes you open your eyes again. A flash of light disorientated you. Straining your eyes, you managed to make out a silhouette in front of you. It was Jinx, and... she was crying. She was in complete disarray, desperately holding your face. She bit her lips every time she wanted to swallow the lump in her throat and continue talking. She was talking to you. What was she saying? Your damn body is so weak. "Hold on, just breathe. Please, I'm really sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you...",-She repeated it over and over while you felt the shimmer being injected into your body. You wanted to calm her down, to say "I love you" back. And all you did was watch silently. Your eyelids were so heavy, and your body suddenly seemed too weightless. You were being yelled at, shaken, and pricked with a shimmer stabbed over and over. And you were too weak to respond to it, closing your eyes one last time.
Jinx sincerely apologizes this time. It's a pity that your mind was too weak to realize this.
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it was short, unclear and stupid 🥴 Wrote this in a hurry while I'm taking a break from studying and writing other things.
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gilverrwrites · 2 days
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STOP WAIT THE TIM DRAKE WITH SIONIS!READER THAT WAS AMAZING
love academic rivals to lovers frfr
anyway but tim is also canonically a high school drop out so sionis!reader finishing school without him (technically dropped out when bruce went missing) 💀 idk why but with roman hating the wayne clan so much, I could see it being kept secret.
like a cute little forbidden fruit/secret relationship. robin & the daughter of the most notorious crime lord in the city?? jeez and you wanna ask why bruce/roman are paranoid /hj
but it's them sneaking around and then tim obviously leaves for his search for batman, dropping out of school, and it leaves sionis!reader all alone.
and then tim comes back!! and bruce is back but bruce doesn't really matter to them(reader), because tim left without a word, without a goodbye, and now he's back and I can imagine all the changes between that happened in that year he was too, the angst of him coming back.
like, would they try to find tim? would they try to go to wayne manor and figure out what the hell happened? I feel like it opens the door to possibilities between them
Hang in there, this is a real rambley ramble.
Ngl, I was picturing it for when he went to Ivy (which he also dropped out of lmao), and I like the idea of them being upfront about it for the comedy/reluctant acceptance angle, but there is still the potential for drama. However, I can see the appeal of them keeping it totally secret too (I'm gonna talk about that later in the post).
For now, heres my vision: You’re Romans favourite kid, his perfect lil angel child, the only one who wants anything to do with him so he dotes on you (to the extent that Roman can dote on anyone) and you go to him one day like; “I get perfect grades, I never miss curfew, I help with the family business, I never ask you for anything, PLEASE accept my boyfriend.” And at first `Roman’s just like… “No.”
Queue the “But Daddy I love him!” tantrum.
Unlike with Jason, Roman has never had any strong feelings toward Tim other than a general distaste cause of the Wayne association, so eventually he tries to come around, but it’s just awkward, and Tim hates it too cause he know your dad is Black Mask, and he can’t do anything without risking being exposed as Red Robin or upsetting you by causing a scene/fight. Is it to much to ask for the two most important men in your life to get along for one dinner? Please?
So, every time they meet the vibes are just off. However, they’re both trying really hard to get along cause they love you.
One night Tim unintentionally catches Black Mask red-handed and he can’t not do his job. The whole time they're fighting, Tim has this whole internal monologue going on about whether he should let Roman off with a warning for your sake, but eventually he’s like WWBD?
So, he hands Roman over to the authorities and the next day he sees you and your bawling! Inconsolable! Your dad is going to prison, your life is ruined. You’re also a bit of drama queen but validly tbh, what will this do for your social standings? Your college applications? Your career aspirations? Fuck Red Robin, you hate that guy!
You were raised by Roman Sionis, of course your inherited at least a little of his melodromatic genes.
Even though you're distressed Tim can’t keep from being like ‘You're mad at the wrong person here! Red Robin is the good guy! You're dad is the criminal, he wouldn't have been arrested if he wasn't a bad person! Who does bad things! He needs to face justice!”
It becomes a massive-ass argument until you’re like “Why can’t you be normal about this? I love my dad and this is going to have a huge effect on my life, why can’t you just be upset for me?”
Tim doesn’t have an answer cause the answer is "I'm Red Robin" but fuck that guy, right? The whole issue goes unresolved.
Or maybe he does snap and tell you the truth but that just makes things worse! "You're my boyfriend and you arrested my father! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"
When you visit him at Blackgate, your father is quietly elated by the break up, he doesn’t say as much. He plays the concerned father, offers you comfort. He reminds you that when he killed lost his parents, it started a new age of loyalty amonst the Sionis clan. As long as you're good to your family (him), it will be good to you. Oh, and btw, he needs you to handle a few things while he's gone. Don't worry, your family pisses money, he'll be out of here in no time but this stuff is important and time sensitive, and he needs you to keep it on the down low.
The next time you see Tim, he’s Red Robin and you’re the one he catches in the act.
Also, Tim telling that Bat-Fam “So yeah, I’m seeing someone new, it’s Y/N Sionis.” And everyone looks at Steph for a second, then back to Tim and is like “Dude! Get a new type!”
Also also, you visit the Wayne family for the first time, and after growing up drilled to hate these people you’re lowkey so nervous. You’re expecting them to hate you, because you learned nothing from presuming the same thing about Tim. The youngest one is definitely scary, and the butler must be convinced you’re gonna steal something because he will not allow you to be left alone (he’s remembering teenage Roman hanging out with teenage Bruce and being the worst), but otherwise everyone is actually kinda chill. Maybe a bit overly polite but not unpleasant.
But I can totally see the appeal of them keeping it totally secret too. Especially if Tim tells you about being Red Robin. How it might force you to come to terms with your morality by enabling your father/not holding him accountable. Major existential crisis material.
Of if he doesn’t tell you, the angst of your boyfriend just up and leaving without a word, not responding to your calls, texts, emails.
When he does come back you’ve ‘moved on’. Or you thought you had until you saw him again. But after he left you high and dry you’re fuming, and won’t allow him to just walk skate back into your life.
Tim pining after you while you’re excelling in your college/job pursuit. You keep catching glimpses of Red Robin while you’re out on dates or visiting your dad. Tim tells himself he’s just vetting your new boyfriends or ensuring your dad isn’t up to no good. But really its because he’s missed you and doesn’t know how to make up for cutting you out of his life.
He also notices how you never bring your dates home. How you still bury yourself in his old hoodie at night. How you haven’t finished binge watching that show the two of you were working on together. Those little nuggets of hope are what keeps him hanging on.
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farshootergotme · 8 hours
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The Bruce-dies-not-Jason AU...
Because I love angst :)
That part about Titans coming around to offer emotional support for Dick...I am now picturing ways for it to go really wrong.
Dick, who at this point is still reeling from the death of Bruce and running himself ragged trying to keep Gotham more or less intact (the Rogues seem to have sensed something is up), breaking down and telling one of the team that he feels so messed up.
He's grieving, but he's also really really angry. Not just at the Joker who deserves all and more of it, but at Bruce for dying and leaving him a mantle too big to step into, and even at Jason for running away and triggering all of this.
He doesn't really blame them, he knows it wasn't Jason's fault, but he's still so angry. He's muffling it all up within, but that's only hurting worse.
Pretty much a natural reaction, given the condition he is in. And understandable that he will be masks-off with the Titans after having to play the emotional support for his family.
Only, unknown to them, Jason is eavesdropping...
Well, as much as it isn't a bad idea to cause some drama, I don't think Dick would really go that way with his feelings? He does hate wearing the cowl and feeling like he's cosplaying the Batman instead of fitting the suit as the new protector of Gotham, but he's not the type to put the blame on others.
If anything, that mostly happens with Bruce. Like when Jason died and he blamed Dick, or when Alfred died and he implied it was Damian's fault.
Dick would most likely blame himself, as he admits having a tendency to do so.
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The New Titans #57
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The New Titans #55
While the angst sounds good, I can't picture Dick saying something like "I'm angry at Bruce for dying" or "I'm angry Jason fell into the Joker's trap".
You could say he was angry at Bruce when Jason died, but that was mostly because Bruce didn't tell him anything about it, tried to make him feel guilty for not attending the funeral when he hadn't even been notified, and then proceeded to basically tell him it was his fault his little brother was dead. So, yeah, Dick was angry, but that wasn't unprovoked. He actually had come originally to talk with Bruce because he knew he was going through a rough time after Jason's death.
Now, he can be more angry when the people he loves die, and he snaps more often than he normally would with all the stress, guilt and grief added into the mix, but he isn't angry at people, he's just angry. Or I would rather put it as the anger being a mask for the pain he's feeling because he can't always allow himself to be truly vulnerable when there's so much he still needs to do.
When Bruce "died" in the main continuity, there was a lot he had to do. Gotham needed him to be Batman, Jason needed to be stopped, Tim needed him to be the rock of the family, Damian needed him as a mentor and Alfred needed him to keep going, knowing that while one son was gone, there still was another son left. (Yes, Dick is Alfred's second son.)
And despite everything, he never stated being angry at any of them for the situation. Not even Bruce. What he did was lament his death because he wasn't ready for him to go.
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Batman #687
I think the only way I could make this scenario work is if it's all a misunderstanding or Jason misheard something Dick said.
But if you like the idea, you do you. We all have our opinions and interpretations.
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heartshattering · 2 days
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My mom is like "You don't need both the TV and the radio turned on :/" like she doesn't understand that the whole point is that the inside of my head is so loud that the only way to fight the 'inside loudness' is with 'outside loudness' but :') this is fine I'll just keep going insane :') no need to worry about me :')
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wild-at-mind · 1 year
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Being in a long distance relationship long term is so fucked up. For context for people in bigger countries I'm not talking flying distance from each other, I'm talking about 3 hrs apart on the train, so not that far arguably. But still far enough that our lives are almost completely separate in the practical sense, no matter how much we talk on the phone or meet halfway. When one of us stays over at the other's place we are still guests in each other's homes. I still don't know what cohabiting would be like and what a comfortable normalicy of being in each other's lives in person every day would be like. We're coming up to our 11th anniversary. I don't want to break up with him!!!! I love him deeply and I've never met someone I'm as compatible with as him. I've never been in love like this and I'm not easy to know, and yet he does know me and likes what he sees. I just feel I am stuck and I am frustrated that my sex life is like once every 3 months. I still don't even know how often we would have sex if we lived together, we haven't had the chance to find that rhythm. When we see each other there's no time to do any more involved stuff it's just getting off. Basically everytthing we've talked about has to stay in the realm of fantasy because there's never any fucking time.
I am trying I said to him- you need to do covering letters and things, you can't just send your CV that has never worked. He's the one who wants out of his current job, and out of his town, but applying for jobs is so fucking hard when you're working full time and trying to do things you love to not get fucking depressed. See I understand those things because I would feel the same way. If he moved here we could find a place together and I could find it out if I actually can live with someone else and stay mentally well. I'm getting too dependent on living alone in order to stay mentally well and it worries me.
Sorry to vent. I'm not looking for advice it's just venting.
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dredshirtroberts · 4 months
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i'm just a dude and my mind is a NIGHTMARE
#the grieving process is hard - i feel like it's harder when they haven't even left yet#but you know it's coming so you just kinda Pre-Grieve and hope it helps later#I also uhhhhhh don't? grieve the dead very well? so i was already going to do a bad job of it#and now i feel like i'm doing even worse than i normally would because of the circumstances of learning the news#and also i hate my parents and my whole family of origin and the way that they're cycles upon cycles of neglect and abuse#and i hate that i'm caught in the middle of it and unable to process my thoughts feelings or emotions around it because i keep getting#caught up in the unfairness and rage and then shoving it all back out of my mind as hard as i can and hiding from it so i don't have to pok#at the box anymore because it fucking *hurts* dude#it hurts to think about these things and work through my feelings and I don't fucking want to right now#but i'm running out of time on a deadline no one fucking controls and if i miss it there are no second chances ever again#and i hate that. i hate that i have no choice i have no agency in this#i know i'm not supposed to but like i still hate it#this will also be my first grandparent death i'll have experienced and i know i'm late to the party#and i'm lucky to be late except i never even had a relationship with my grandparents#and what little i did have dried up because i *did* pull away from the family#and no one fucking chased after me#which is a DIFFERENT kettle of fish we're not even going to get into here#maybe i'll write more Adrien stuff he's good for getting these feelings out#and i started his story line officially yesterday so maybe... maybe i'll write something from further down the timeline
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zephyrchama · 4 months
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Water Wrinkles
Seven demon brothers sat solemnly in a circle around you. You did your best to ignore them. It wasn't often that you got to spend time at the human world villa, and you were intent on soaking up as much sun as you could before returning to the Devildom.
You reclined your beach chair back, crossing your arms under your still-wet hair. It was a gorgeous day. Perfect for being at the pool.
Leviathan let out a muffled sob. As the demon with the highest affinity for water, he blamed himself.
"Let us take you to a hospital," Satan insisted for the tenth time.
"They're going to laugh us out of the ER," you nonchalantly repeated.
Satan lowered his eyes and muttered, "I couldn't find any traces of a curse in the water... So how...?"
Asmodeus had his head in his hands, unresponsive. Sometimes his fingers curled around the ends of his hair. You briefly glanced over to make sure he didn't pull his hair out - that would be grounds for a real emergency.
"I can't bear to watch. Lucifer, do somethin'," Mammon whined. He was fidgeting all over the place and winced whenever he looked at your feet.
The oldest glared at you. You knew it was out of concern, but his fears were unfounded. Even Lucifer refused to listen to reason when he thought you were in danger.
"Actually, yeah. Lucifer, can you pass me a towel?" you asked. It was embarrassing having seven shirtless demons intensely staring at you. If they wouldn't let you go back in the water, maybe covering up would make you feel less self-conscious.
Lucifer didn't move. It was Beelzebub who plucked a spare towel off his younger twin and handed it to you with a shaking arm. He looked like a wet puppy, having been the one who first discovered your "condition" and swept you out of the pool.
Belphegor hadn't gone in the water that day. He only hogged the plush towels because of how comfortable they were and, following Beelzebub's lead, dumped them all onto your chair. Now he sat, wide awake. He was anxiously squeezing a loose chunk of concrete but at some point, without realizing, it got crushed to powder in his hand.
You had more than enough towels now.
"In half an hour you're going to forget this all even happened," you said to reassure the worry warts.
"In half an hour, you might be gone!" Mammon snapped back.
"You're going to be a wrinkled mess of skin and bones," Asmodeus weeped quietly.
Leviathan pressed his hands over his ears. Though, with nothing to cover his eyes he was forced to look at your wrinkled hands again. Based on the noises he was making, you'd think someone was torturing him.
"As I've said!" you reiterated. "All humans get wrinkly in water. Look, now that I'm drying off it's going back to normal."
Beelzebub grabbed your ankle, raising it for the brothers to observe at eye level. "I don't see a difference."
You didn't expect the sudden manhandling and slunk several inches down the lounge chair while the demons stared at your foot. Kicking and twisting your leg was futile. You modestly crossed your free leg.
"I think it's getting worse," Satan said.
"We need to take action," Lucifer decided.
Asmodeus was actively quivering now. Belphegor and Leviathan had crept behind you and started picking at your wrinkly fingers. You tried to swat them away to no avail.
"Give me 25 minutes! Literally! Probably even less, this will go away on its own! I just need to dry off."
"We need a solution now," Mammon asserted. The cogs in his brain were turning. "We need fire."
You tried to sit up, to jump up and stop Mammon before he burned the whole villa down in an attempt to dry you off, but Beelzebub had not let go and you stumbled. You grazed your knee on the concrete and winced.
A second round of panic overcame the demon brothers. Beelzebub let go, Lucifer picked you up, and Belphegor wrapped your knee with every available towel he could lay his hands on. Asmodeus and Leviathan were crying on each other's shoulders. Mammon came running back, oblivious to the second disaster that just occurred, with a flaming stick in his hand that Satan tried to keep at bay. If you got burnt on top of everything else, they'd probably go insane and destroy the human world.
In the midst of the chaos you caught a glimpse of your hand. It was practically dry. You couldn't even see the wrinkles anymore. You angrily wiggled in Lucifer's grasp as various hands fussed over you.
"Stay!!" you shouted over the clamor.
The brothers went tumbling to the ground, save for Lucifer who fought to stay rooted in place. You could finally hear yourself think again. There was primarily one thought on your mind.
"I just want to go swimming."
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risestarkiss · 9 months
Text
Being Baby Blue
Rise Ramblings #313
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Leonardo Hamato is…an interesting individual.
As a middle child, he doesn’t have to shoulder the responsibilities of the oldest, nor is he fawned upon or babied over like the youngest. Therefore, he ends up having more of a lackadaisical approach to life.
In his free time, instead of training like Raph, Leo can normally be found reading comic books.
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And for good reason! Someone has to be up on the latest issues of Jupiter Jim and his space odysseys.
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But, other than being a Jupiter Jim superfan, who is Leonardo Hamato?
If you ask Leo, he's...*takes out a list*: “Primetime,” “First,” “The Best,” “Number One,” “The Champion,” or some other iteration of all of the above.
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...Huh. Anyways...
Of course, the first thing Leo would tell you is that he's the team's "Face Man."
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As the "Face Man," he’s the one that turns up the charm when they need to schmooze their way out of, or into, something.
He's the face of the group! It's a very important title, right?
Well, in this scene with Hueso, we learn what Leo really feels about his place on the team.
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"There's no team with just a face man." "I'm nothing without them."
Hmm. If he thinks that he is nothing without his brothers, then what's the deal with all of this "Number One" and "Champion" talk?
I believe that Leo is exhibiting a form of Reaction Formation.
Reaction Formation is a primitive defense mechanism that involves transforming one's unacceptable feelings or emotions into the opposite.
"Solicitude may be a reaction-formation against cruelty...romantic notions of chastity and purity may mask crude sexual desires, altruism may hide selfishness, and piety may conceal sinfulness."
Leo has been creating these grandiose titles and this larger-than-life persona for himself as a means to cope with his feelings of insecurity, his anxieties, and combat his self-deprecation.
Gee, forming a larger-than-life persona to counteract their suppressed feelings also reminds me of someone else we know…
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But, I digress...
Behind the fabrications, his insecurities, who he pretends to be, and who he wants to be, the real Leo is still on display, starting as early as the first episode.
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He's attentive, he understands the team's strengths and weaknesses, he assesses situations, he comes up with great plans on the fly, and he is a voice of reason.
These are all the characteristics of a great leader.
However, something happens when he’s actually appointed as such.
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There he goes again. He's cocky, arrogant, and act's as if he's unphased even by the prospect of loosing his brothers. If this is Reaction Formation, then what is he trying to mask with these behaviors?
Previously, he was masking his insecurities, his anxieties, and his self-deprecation, but with the faces he pulls when he thinks no one can see them, I want to say the newest emotion is fear.
He is terrified of being the leader and floundering under his new responsibilities. He's scared of the consequences of his actions, and what those consequences may mean for his brothers. However, instead of voicing his insecurities, or communicating with his team, he doubles down and falls back into old habits.
The "Face Man" persona is turned up to an 11, and things get worse and worse until...
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His greatest fears have been realized.
He has failed as a leader. He has failed his brothers. He has failed to stop the invasion, and they are all going to die because of his failures.
Now he's faced with the harsh reality of his own mistakes, thus he finally faces himself.
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"It's scary to be responsible for the lives you protect, your team...your family. But we do it anyway because that's what it means to be a hero."
He may be speaking to Raph, but he's talking about himself.
His words are his true feelings, the same feelings that have been holding him back this entire time. By opening up, he's able to surrender to himself and let it all go.
And it's the breakthrough we all have been waiting for.
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What Leo doesn't know is that through letting go, he's able to become the true face of the group he is destined to be.
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He's the face of hope.
○○○○
Previous | Being Big Red
Next | Being Purple ○ Part One • Being Purple ○ Part Two • Orange, Baby!
Finale | Being Hamato Yoshi
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night-daily · 1 year
Text
Don't touch her | Roronoa Zoro x fem! reader
summary: You, Nami and Zoro are captive by Buggy when one of his freaks decide to have fun with you.
warnings: spoilers ep 2 one piece live action.
“Can you stop fighting with each other and instead look for a solution to get out of here?” You were exasperated, your cage was little and tighter than Nami's and you were between them so you couldn't stand them anymore, they had been fighting as if you weren't trapped and Luffy was who knows where.
Nami looked at you smiling apologetically and Zoro looked... worried? Maybe was the stressful situation making you see things. Fortunately, Nami was a great thief and of course, she could open her cage and then help you. Hearing a voice coming closer makes you a little nervous, after all, those weren't normal pirates, they were freaks as the clown pirate called them. “Try to distract him” Nami murmured low.
He finally showed up, looking at the three of you carefully, and finally, his eyes stopped on Zoro. They started discussing about his brother, apparently, he was killed by Zoro and he was indifferent making Cabaji furious. He made Zoro spin while throwing knives at him, every time he ''failed'' a vital spot it made your heart race like crazy because if he wanted to kill Zoro, he would have done it already, right?
But you couldn't help the words slip out of your mouth when a knife almost touched one of his wrists.
“Hey freak, do you even know how to throw a knife!?” You were clearly trying to get his attention and you did it. His face turned red, and he looked more furious with you right now than with Zoro, you didn't know if that was good or bad for you, but you didn't care, at least Zoro it's okay it doesn't matter.
But there is a simple rule in this world, never mess up a psycho with a knife.
“You want to be my target so bad, pretty girl?” Cabaji was standing in front of you, so close you could feel his breath on your face. “I promise you I won't fail” He stated so sure of himself it made you shiver.
“Don't touch her.” Zoro's voice was aggressive and his eyes darkened, he clenched his hands into fists ready to fight.
Cabaji ignored him, smiling mischievous still looking at you but before he could do or say anything, Zoro pulled one of his arms out of the rope capturing Cabaji, tightening the grip around his neck suffocating him and dropping him on the ground.
You were focused on Zoro and Cabaji so you didn't hear when Nami opened up the lock from her cage until you saw her by your side helping you to get out.
You and Nami freed Zoro from the ropes when you were done you heard it Luffy's scream across the room, the three of you looked at each other.
“Ready to go?” Nami asked, you and Zoro nodded your heads walking behind her. Then you felt a hand on your wrist forcing you to stop and face him.
“Never do that again, it was stupid, he could have hurt you or worse, kill you” He was serious even a little scared, you have never seen him like this and it made you nervous, you avoided his eyes and he grabbed your chin gently. “I'm serious, I was going crazy.”
“But I'm alive... and it's thanks to you, Zoro” You stood on tiptoe and gave him a kiss on the corner of his lips, taking him by surprise.
This time, you started walking with a big smile on your face, “you coming?” Zoro followed you from behind with a smirk on his face.
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a-hazbin-reader · 7 months
Note
Hii I love your work!
Could you do a (romantic but.. crush stage) headcanon of Alastor helping the reader and the reader gives him a kiss as a thank you and Alastor is like "what the hell was that?" Reader genuinely feeling bad for kissing him and Alastor says "you should be sorry" but then Alastor starts to constantly help the reader (even more than before) and everyone in the hotel knows what he's doing but reader is dense. Then eventually alastor just bursts into her bedroom shouting "FOR FUCK SAKE WHY WONT YOU KISS ME" (maybe not that but same energy)
Please and thank you :>
I'm just gonna...combine these two...
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Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic
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TW: Alastor being jealous, DOORS, Saucy?
Description: ☝️⬆️
You gave affection freely to those around you, everyone got a hug or a small peck on the cheek
So when you're struggling with something and Alastor helps you out? It's only natural for you to give him a quick kiss on the cheek
It's his reaction to it that makes you think you made a mistake in doing so, his body going stiff and gaze dark
You step back as you start to notice a green haze around him and the glass on his monocle cracking
"Don't you ever do that again, my dear."
"I'm-I'm sorry, Alastor-"
"You should be."
And just like that, he's back to normal, carrying on like nothing had happened and humming a jolly tune
But you still feel so guilty for making him so uncomfortable, that was the last thing you wanted
So you work hard to do better, to respect his boundaries and keep a respectful distance
It's not until later when Alastor has time to think about it that he actually realizes that he kinda enjoyed it
And that he's envious of the others who now freely get to soak up your attention and affection for doing little tasks
Like Husk getting scritches and scratches under his chin because he carried a box for you
Angel getting a warm hug with lots of nuzzling and cooing, all because he used his multiple arms to help you cook
Vaggie sheepishly accepting a thank you kiss because she caught you when you almost took a dive down the stairs
Charlie and Niffty are the worst offenders, always helping you and just eating up your praise and hugs
And now whenever Alastor helps you... you just give him a meek thank you and dash off
He's left there waiting for his hug and kiss that won't ever happen
He's not jealous, he told you not to thank him with physical affection
He just didn't realize that he was shooting himself in the foot when he snapped at you
So he starts trying to tempt you into it, taking every opportunity to help you out with every little thing
Alastor will physically shove the others out of the way in order to be the person who helps you out
And he never gets the proper thank you that he's looking for
It's getting to the point where you're driving him insane with those kissy lips and warm embraces
Why won't you just fucking give him some attention!? Oh yeah. Because he ruined it for himself
You do tell him that you're grateful for him and his help, sweetly smiling at him but keeping yourself at a distance
But it's not enough, he wants what everyone else is getting and then some
He hates being excluded or not being special and it's even worse when it comes to you
Alastor's thin patience suddenly snaps when one day while he's out running errands with you
The two of you bump into Zestial and the great overlord opens a door for you, earning a soft kiss on his cheek
It would almost be cute watching you struggle to do that, considering Zestial's height
But instead...Alastor is fucking irritated 😤
Zestial takes it well and you continue to run errands with Alastor for the rest of the day even though he's visibly sulky
His ears are bent back and his eyes are furious
You wonder what you did wrong
He's a bit distant from you for a couple days after that and you miss having him around
Even if you couldn't be with him, you still liked hanging around him and spending time with him
Just when you're starting to feel sorry for yourself and thinking you did something to offend him, wandering the hotel
He shows up by your side and grabs you, miraculously stopping you from almost falling into a fucking hole in the floor that wasn't there yesterday
Charlie is to blame somehow
You're just so happy to see him hanging out with you again that you hug him out instinct
Only to realize you fucked up and try to pull away-
But Alastor's firm grip on you stops you from moving, and he's looking at you in a way that makes your face heat up
"U-uh...um...thank you...Alastor..."
He tuts at you while shaking his head, pulling you flush against him as he leans in closer
"Words won't suffice anymore, my dear~ I'll only accept one thing as payment for my heroic services~"
You definitely don't melt when he suddenly kisses you and if your arms find their way around his neck then...
Who are you to deny him his payment? Kiss that bastard until he's crawling away and begging for mercy
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Me hoping I didn't just shoot myself in the foot by bringing up the door thing again..
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blughxreader · 9 months
Text
platonic yandere batfam thoughts...
how you end up integrating into the family.
I think we often forget how insidious the long-term effects of kidnapping are. Your whole world narrows and you have nothing fulfilling outside of them.
Realistically, how many weeks straight can you do nothing but look at your phone/watch TV? I know we do this every day, but we have school/work/friends/family to provide actual fulfillment and joy. But when you take that away? And have to decide whether you should scroll through monitored social media or talk to your captors?
Especially because the TV doesn't distract from the cold, hard gaze of the surveillance cameras in your room.
Even if you read and craft and cook, it's so difficult to keep your mental health in-tact without having a positive interaction with another human being.
It would start small.
It's morning and Cass smiles at you from across the breakfast table. Not wanting to be rude, you smile tightly back.
Jason wordlessly slides you a book. You take it.
After a few months, you feel slightly more comfortable about taking up space in the manor. Alfred is out of town for the weekend, so you make a sandwich with Tim.
Bruce talks to you about the new scientific breakthrough at Wayne Enterprises and keeps you relatively up-to-date on major world events. You begrudgingly learn more interesting facts than public school has ever taught you.
Soon, you've watched everything good on Netflix. You exhausted your tolerance for social media. You've given yourself headaches reading so much. You've hit an art/writers block like never before because your input has run dry.
With no other source of entertainment, you become more attentive to the Bats.
Of course, you've always watched them out of fear. But as months tick by and you've learned their hearts (and delusions), it's obvious that they would never hurt you. Furthermore, operating within their expectations is easy enough as long as you never challenge them, so the constant danger-sense slowly turns off.
However, because you don't have any outside noise to occupy your mind, drama in the house becomes almost life-and-death to you.
Peace is so fragile, and it's all you have.
Damian and Bruce return from patrol in a rage one night. Damian's furious echoes bouncing upstairs, followed by Bruce's low, indistinguishable scorn.
Fuck, you think. Now your and Bruce's talks are going to be stilted and uncomfortable. Now Damian is going to sulk in your room for hours, unwilling to talk about what happened yet wanting some kind of reassurance.
You can't keep them from fighting, but you want to protect your peace.
When you first arrived in this dreadful manor, you never would have imagined you'd offer them kind words and affection. However it's the only thing you can do now.
There's conflict. The house is tense--your world is tense.
Should you call Dick? He has a day job again, so he can't come over until tomorrow night. It's up to you to ease the tension.
So you do, slowly, with homemade food and Bruce's favorite coffee blend and Damian's favorite hot chocolate. You sit with them individually, shoulder to shoulder (much closer than you would normally sit), and pretend everything is alright. They're surprised but very quick to snap back into a good mood.
The house is suddenly back in order and you did it all by yourself.
And with these vigilantes, conflict is ripe. There's always people coming and going, fighting and playing, and you're unwillingly the most in-tune with the well-being of everyone's relationships.
You protect your peace. You protect the house.
this shit makes me gnaw at my enclosure. if you're fem, it's worse because ✨ stereotypical woman archetype ✨ anyway this has been on my mind because i've been taking care of my baby chicks and cooking dinner most nights, so i'm like 💁‍♀️ i could be a captive house wife click here for my yandere batfam masterlist
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i-cant-sing · 9 months
Note
I can’t get this scenario out of my head with yan!batfamily in which Bruce worms his way into a depressed reader’s life by marrying their mother and slowly taking over the role of parenting reader while dealing with the depression.
No because Bruce would do that. In his head, its just another mission to "save Y/n" and sure, your mother isn't exactly his type, and your depression isn't exactly her fault- the poor woman just works day and night for you both to survive in this outrageous economy, she doesn't have had enough time to see you not doing so well mentally.
Bruce and his sons, by whatever sequence of events, are now infatuated with you. What started as concern for your well being has now turned into obsessive need to control your life to make it better. So, yeah... Bruce decides to marry your mom, who is more than happy to finally find a chivalrous, handsome man... who just happens to also be very rich.
Meanwhile, you hate him. It's stupid, but you hate how filthy rich he is and even though you know that he donates a lot to charities, you still hate him because Bruce thinks money can solve everything (and in your case, it almost can), but you can't help but feel insulted everytime he offers you a cheque, a wad of cash to pay off your bills and loans, or even a $20 bill to get yourself some snacks. It feels... abnormal. You're not a charity case.
Perhaps your socioeconomic status isn't the only reason you're depressed. Maybe it's just you missing your father (could be dead/murdered/suicide/just moved far far away).
The moment Bruce finds out that your dad is the reason why you're so depressed, oh it's "I WILL FATHER ANOTHER CHILD IN NEED OF PROFESSIONAL HELP" time. He's doubling down on his paternal instincts and he's just mentally smacking himself like "ofc you need a father figure in your life. Who better than me????"
And it just makes your skin crawl at how nonchalant Bruce is about all this- about incorporating himself into your and your mother's life. Treating you both, especially you like you're actually related. Like he's been around with you two his entire life. You lose your appetite when he stays for dinner, but you sit at the table for your mother. You try to make excuses when your mother tells you that you have to go with her at the Wayne Manor because "Bruce wants to spend a day with family". You can't help but look at your mother in wonder at how she is comfortable when you both pull up at the manor. You thought things would be easier if Bruce's sons were also uncomfortable or even hated you and your mother (or thought that your mom was a gold digger), but no, they're just as worse as Bruce. Dick being particularly the worst in the sense that he's more affectionate and his love language is physical touch, so you get squished to his chest everytime he sees you, with a small cry "my baby!" Sometimes, "sis" would be added.
You didn't like either nickname.
Then there's Jason, who is the most normal one of them all, perhaps because he isn't around much and when he is, he just makes small talk.
Tim doesn't talk much either, but he stares a lot. Somehow you feel like he knows something about you, at least more than he's letting on.
And lastly, there's Damian, that pompous little shit. You know he's being amicable for Bruce, but his eyes look at you like he's judging you- thinks you're beneath him. Which is true, in the sense of finance. Despite all of that, Damian still wants to show you off his interests/things around the manor. He's still being arrogant ofc, "Look at this oil painting- it's a Van Gogh original. Van Gogh is a famous painter- he's dead though. I'm sure you aren't familiar with his works. I can take you to the Gotham gallery to show you more paintings. Father owns it, so it can be just us two without other people bothering us." He's nice but also not nice. But at least he's not doing it intentionally.
Then there's Bruce. Who is always looking at you with a small smile, but his eyes are always analysing you, even when he's not looking at you directly, you know that he's watching your every move like a hawk. He tries spending time with you, often he succeeds, only because your mother makes you go. He's a good man, hasn't done anything exactly inappropriate, but... even something as small as making you walk on the inner side of the sidewalk so that you're safe from the cars... it doesn't sit right with you. Why is he being so paternal? You certainly have been rude to him on purpose. Always giving him one word answers when he asks you how your day was.
Then one day your mother returns home with a beaming smile.
"Bruce proposed to me! We're getting married!"
After only 3 months of dating? It's what you wanted to say, but you held it back when you saw how happy she was.
The next day, Bruce held a dinner at the manor to celebrate the engagement. Surprisingly, that was the first time you saw Damian looking mad at you and your mom.
It was a reasonable reaction. Acceptable to you, instead of the overly excited yell of Dick "WE'RE GOING TO BE SIBLINGS! That means we can have slumber parties and pillow fights and-"
Your mother and Bruce were shopping for the wedding, looking at dresses and venues and all the shenanigans while you were at the manor, moving your and your mom's stuff in with the boys. It was the last thing you wanted, but your mother.... she insisted on it. Or at least that's what she says, you know Bruce insisted.
Doesn't matter because by next year, you'd be moving away to college anyways.
You just need to put up with this for a little longer and see your mother finally be happy.
You didn't expect your mother to be dead a week before the wedding.
It was out of the blue. You were sitting in the library at the manor because Dick refused to let you be alone in your room all the time, so he was making you some cookies while you read. Then he and Bruce came together, their faces pale as they looked at you.
"Y/n... your mother, she... she got in an accident."
She was driving to some restaurant, wanted to get you your favourite fried chicken and spend some time with you alone. But on her way, a truck crashed right into her car.
She died on the spot.
Whatever little improvement you had on your mental health went straight down the drain. You locked yourself in your room and just cried quietly. They left you alone the first few days, but then Bruce and Dick tried to persuade you to come out, that they were concerned for you. You did come out the day the funeral was held. And it hurt you... it hurt you so deeply when you found out they were burying her at the Wayne cemetery.
She wasn't a fucking Wayne.
If you had any strength, if you had any energy at all, you would've taken your mother and buried her someplace else.
But you didn't.
When you returned inside the manor, you went straight to your mother's room, which was also Bruce's room but you didn't care if he saw you in there or not. You just started packing all of your mother's stuff, her clothes, her jewellery, her photos, everything she came here with, which wasn't much to begin with but still.
"Y/n?" You stiffened when Bruce called you, but you didn't pause on packing. "What are you doing? Looking for something?"
You sighed. Might as well get this over with.
You turnd around, not looking him in the eye.
"I'm moving out. And I'm taking mom's stuff with me. You can check, I'm not stealing anything that belongs to you."
Bruce looked at you in confusion. "Moving out? Where are you going?"
"College. I'll be going there soon anyways, so I'm moving to an apartment with some friends."
"Oh, but you don't need to move out. You can stay with us. Youre family-" you cut him off.
"Bruce, let's not." You finally look at him. "We're not family. I never was, I never wanted to be. Mom's gone now, and I have no reason or desire to be here. Thank you for letting me stay here for as long as you have, but I will be moving out by tomorrow, if not tonight." You said picking up your mother's bag of stuff and walking out of the room. Bruce followed you to your room.
"But I don't want you to move-"
You dropped the bags. "I don't care what you want!"
Bruce looked at you with his brows furrowed. He didn't get why you were acting like this. Your yelling had gotten the attention of the boys too, all looking in confusion at the bags.
"I don't want to be a part of this family. I never have, and I never will. I never liked you or anyone in this family. And if you're concerned about me speaking to the media about you guys, don't worry. If it helps you, you can make me sign an NDA!"
Damian narrowed his eyes at you. "Dont talk to father like-"
"Shut up!" You yelled harshly. You didn't care who you were hurting. Your mother was gone, you had no reason to be amicable to them anymore.
-
They left you alone that day, and by the next morning, you were ready to leave. At 6 am, you walked down to the main door, with your bags. You weren't expecting them all to be waiting for you, but here they were. You took a step towards the door, but Dick stopped you.
He cleared his throat. "Um, this is the NDA... if you'd just sign it here." He handed you the papers.
Unbelievable. They actually drew up a contract. You took the pen from his hand and signed at the dotted lines.
"Bye." You took another step, except Damian and Tim blocked your path.
"What now?"
"Where are you going?" Tim asked.
"Do we have to go over this again?" You grumbled. "College." You answered.
"You can't." Damian said smugly. What's he smirking for?
"You're gonna break my legs?" You scoffed.
"No, you just signed a document saying that you're a part of this family, and Bruce Wayne is your guardian and has authority over all decisions concerning you like going to college, or even... going out of the house." Damian replied.
You looked at Bruce, because there's no way Damian is being serious. But there were no signs of joking. You looked at Dick, at Jason-
They were all dead serious.
"You cant- you can't be- you can't keep me here." You said.
"You signed the documents. It's your fault for not reading them." Tim said.
"Bruce-"
"I really do believe that it'd be better for you to stay here." Bruce said, taking ahold of your shoulders. "At least until you're doing better mentally."
"I'm fine-"
"I don't think so. And I could even take you to a psychiatrist, they'd agree with me." Bruce cupped your cheek as you flinched away. "You'd be happy here. I promise you that, you'll be safe and happy with us."
You'd try fighting, but you already knew you were outnumbered.
Besides, even if you weren't, even if you were alone with the smallest one of them, you still wouldn't be able to leave. You have no idea what Damian is capable of.
After all, he's the one who had your mother killed.
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lovely-peace · 4 months
Text
Lovely?
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Summary: You don't like the marauders. You don't talk and don't even look at them. But as you visit your friend in the hospital wing you encounter a certain boy with brown hair, scars and this lovely eyes.
Pairing: Remus Lupin x Gryffindor!reader
Warnings: Low self esteem, past bullying?, This is no bully! Marauders fic!!
Part 1 Part 3
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"Hey, do you want to study for Transfiguration together?"
A normal day. It should have been. But ever since I was asked who I would date, I've been hearing giggles and whispers. And now James is standing in front of Amy and me. Ready to finish something. I don't know what yet, but it's going to hurt.
Because it will be a joke of theirs.
"Why should we?" I go straight on the offensive. Leave fears behind and intimidate them.
Sirius, who was standing behind James, looked to the side to stifle a laugh. That kind of upset me.
"Well, in the last lesson you had... We thought we could help each other."
Oh. My mistake. That they laughed about. Learning. Together. Actually, they just want to smile at my stupidity. SMILE.
"Amy doesn't even have Transfiguration." I hissed, looking the boy in front of me in the eye for the first time. He looked almost uncomfortable.
This boy I rode to Hogwarts with in the same wagon. And who now feels too cool to remember my name. I'm just a joke that you crack a few times and then forget.
"Which is why, unfortunately, I have to say goodbye and go upstairs. Important subjects are waiting for me!" Amy tapped my shoulder and I was about to thank her inwardly until- "That's why I'm leaving this sweetie here with you, okay?"
Peter looked up from his book for the first time. He was sitting on the couch by the fire.
In the common room of Gryffindor, it was not uncommon for people to fight over this space. Peter snatched it early enough so that Remus, who looked very ill that morning, just sat on the chair at the table next to it.
Peter was probably just as disappointed that Amy left as I was, if I interpreted his expression correctly.
"Amy," I whispered to her, "what are you doing?"
She raised her eyebrows, rolled her eyes and sighed briefly. And I understood. She wanted me to give them a chance.
I looked at her with begging eyes and screamed at her in my mind not to leave me here alone.
"So...?" James stood there like a boy waiting for his mother's permission.
And I wasn't going to give it to him.
"Sorry, Jarry, but I was planning on studying for other subjects with Amy today. So if you'll excuse us." What did I just say?
"Oo-," James looked to his friends while Sirius laughed out loud, "-okay?"
I didn't look at Amy and just stomped faree upstairs to our room.
Amy followed me, but not without letting out a sigh of disappointment.
~~
"What was that about?" My voice was a little louder than usual. "I thought we agreed that we didn't like the four of them?"
Amy groaned and threw herself on her bed. "I never said that. I meant that they can be assholes sometimes, that's all."
"But they just were assholes?"
I also sat down on my bed and looked out of the window. The Hufflepuff team was playing quidditch.
"How were they assholes in any way, please? James just asked us if we wanted to study with them in the common room."
I could hear Amy starting to get angry.
"You know what he meant. He only asked because I said something completely stupid in Transfiguration the day before yesterday and everyone had a laugh. And now he wanted to hear more of it."
Amy had gone quiet. Then she snorted loudly. "Jesus Christ."
"What?!" As I turned around, two piercing eyes looked into me.
"Can you please stop painting the devil on the wall for once? You sound worse than Cassandra!"
Now I snorted.
But Amy wasn't finished yet. "You're so afraid of being ridiculed that you're becoming an asshole yourself!"
The sun was setting. And the moon slowly rose.
"Why are you so sure that the four of them are making fun of you?"
I hated that tears were welling up in my eyes. "That's how it always is! Suddenly all these people are nice to you, who didn't even know who you were before, to lure you into safety, but in reality they're blaspheming and laughing at you. It's always like that!"
Amy shook her head.
"No, it's just always like that in your head. There's a chance that these people just want to get to know you better."
Amy took her DADA textbook and turned to the other wall. "To exclude this opportunity from the outset is not only a mistake, but also a missed opportunity to make new friends."
I looked up at the full moon. I felt as if he was out there suffering with me.
You understand me, don't you?
Probably not.
~~
The next morning, Amy was still mad at me. I couldn't blame her. What I said already sounded pathetic.
But so far it had always been the truth.
It was unusually quiet at breakfast. Amy ate almost nothing and hurried to her tray.
We had different subjects at the beginning of the day, but at lunch Amy was nowhere to be seen. There were whispers again and I wanted to scream.
And it was only in charms that I was told she had been taken to the hospital wing. 
That was not uncommon for Amy. Amy was very fragile. Amy always put on a very strong front, also to help me. But the truth was that stress really affected her and at one point she almost fell over sick.
Was it because of our argument? I don't know. But I certainly felt guilty.
~~
After class, I hurried to the hospital wing and let myself be led to her bed.
She looked almost peaceful as she slept. I carefully sat down next to her and took her hand. She was sweaty and cool at the same time.
Madam Pomfrey explained to me that Amy had been under a lot of stress lately and had eaten something bad. Then she went to the next bed and talked with the visitors there.
Visitors with... familiar voices?!
"Oh, please, you can't expect us to just leave him here alone?" Was that Sirius?
"Yes, I must. You know he needs his rest now. So shoo." Madam Pomfrey sounded a bit annoyed.
"We can stay here quietly!" That was James. Ironically loud.
"No, Mr. Potter, you cannot. So, gentlemen. Out!"
I saw out of the corner of my eye how Madam Pomfrey shooed several people outside. But who was behind the curtain of the bed? Whom were they visiting?
The curtain didn't cover the whole bed. In fact, it was only drawn on my side. Quietly, I got up and tried to get a quick look at the person. I took a cautious step to the side and—
There layed Remus. A pretty battered Remus, wrapped in bandages.
Suddenly, the curtain was pulled back and I stood there as if caught red-handed.
Remus looked at me in surprise. His look was somehow different than usual and I imagined he took a deep breath before he spoke.
"Hi." ... "Hi."
His body was even worse wrapped up than I had seen from the side. He was sitting upright and his upper body was full of bandages. His face also had scratches but his eyes were still so deep-
I stared at him. For far too long.
I quickly sat down next to Amy, who was still asleep.
Remus cleared his throat. "Is Amy very unwell?"
Somehow I wasn't prepared for a conversation with him. Not with one of the four. Not with Remus.
"According to Madam Pomfrey, it's just stress. She just needs to get some rest and then she should feel better." I was almost whispering, my voice was so quiet. Nothing compared to yesterday.
"That's good. I hope she gets better soon. Has anything bad happened?" I looked up at him. His eyes were so gentle, as if he really cared. "Something that's really stressing her out?"
When he noticed my look, he looked away. To my disappointment. "But actually, it's none of my business-"
"We had a fight." Why did I tell him that? "I worried her again."
I looked at Amy. Her face wasn't quite so pale and her hand, which I was holding, wasn't quite so sweaty.
"Oh." Remus' voice was very quiet. As if he was afraid of saying the wrong thing. As if he was worried to say the wrong thing.
"And why are you lying here? What happened to you?" It was only when I looked at him that I realized the question was a bit rude.
"If you want to tell me," I added.
He just sighed and suddenly looked so far away. "It was an accident."
I waited for him to tell me more. He didn't.
It stayed quiet between us for a long time. I could feel his gaze from the side, but somehow it didn't bother me a bit. I almost felt safe.
Suddenly he asked me: "Why did you argue?"
I looked into his eyes and almost wanted to tell him everything. I looked at Amy and borrowed her words. "I was an asshole."
He tilted his head and smiled cautiously. "Somehow I can't imagine that."
I looked at him. He looked at me.
"Why?"
"Well, you... It's not like you at all."
I continued to look at him. He continued to look at me.
"What do you mean?"
"You're usually so... Lovely."
Lovely? He saying I was lovely?
I had to laugh. He looked away.
"Me? You don't know me then." I giggled softly. "Besides, anyone can be an asshole, no matter how sweet the person still is."
He looked outside. The moon was up. He had that look again. "Yeah, I guess you're right about that."
It was quiet again after that. I heard soft footsteps outside and my anxiety wanted me to leave. So I stood up and was about to say goodbye to Remus as he-
"I want to know."
"What?"
He suddenly looked into my eyes so intensely that I felt dizzy.
"I want to know you properly."
I didn't know what to say and just looked at him as he continued.
"I want to know what goes through your mind when you see me us."
His gaze moved away from me. "I want to know why you hate us so much."
My whole world suddenly spun and I was in the middle of it. What was he saying? What did he mean, why was he even talking to me? What was going on here, why was he even here? And why did he call me lovely? What did he mean?
I wanted to say something. Something about... What actually?
Somehow I couldn't get anything out of me and was stuck in this spiral of trying to say something and figure out what to say. I opened my mouth, as-
"Remus, we're here!" James' voice tried to sound quiet but was unmistakable. Just like the footsteps of the two boys walking towards his bed.
When I saw them, so many things came back to me. Why I didn't talk to Remus.
"Are you feeling better? Remus -" Sirius faltered when he saw me. He looked between me and Remus and then grinned at me.
"Oh hello."
He turned to James now and 'whispered' to him. "Prongs, let's go and give these two some time to themselves-"
Remus cleared his throat and pointed at Amy who was lying next to me. Sirius fell silent.
"I'd better go now." I said in a very quiet voice again. James and Sirius even left me alone, but I heard their voices before I closed the door behind me.
"So, did she talk to you?" "What was going on with her?" "Is there something-"
The door slammed behind me and my head seemed to explode with questions.
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thebearer · 1 year
Note
would you ever write something about protective baby daddy carmy, maybe it’s only a few weeks until the baby is born so super big belly and coming to family or making her spend all the time at the restaurant so he doesn’t miss the birth
"Make way, wide corner!" Richie bellowed, arms waving back and forth, guiding you through the kitchen like you were an airplane landing.
You glared at him, a snarl in your expression as you waddled around the corner. It was hot and you were so fucking pregnant, due any day now. "Shut the fuck up, Richie." You huffed, flinching at the heat of the kitchen, a wave of nausea coming over you.
"Richie, leave that poor woman alone. What's the matter with you, huh?" Tina snarled, glaring harshly at Richie. "How're you doin', Mama? How's the baby?" Her tone dropped to something sweeter, kinder for you, hand rubbing over your swollen abdomen. Normally, it bothered you when people touched your bump, but Tina was different. It was comforting with her.
"Miserable. Swollen. Hot." You muttered, looking down at your growing belly where baby girl was still jabbing at your ribs.
"I mean this in the nicest way, but... has the baby grew more since last week?" Sydney's eyes were skittish and wide, darting carefully from your stomach back to you.
You snorted lightly, running a hand over the swell of your abdomen. "She dropped a few days ago. Getting ready for launch." You muttered.
"Oh, that-that's, uh, terrifying." Sydney nodded, awkwardly. "Sorry, that's not what you want to hear, but, uh..."
"No, you're right. It is." You laughed, a little uneasy. It was fucking terrifying, all of it- pregnancy, birth, motherhood in general. It was scary.
"It also is so fucking painful because now everything is heavier and my back feels like it might snap." You gave a fake forced smile.
"Oh, poor Mama. That just means she's close. Only a few more days?" Tina beamed. "How much does she weigh?"
"They think eight pounds." You groaned, Sydney's eye bulging expression.
"Ay dios mio..." Tina muttered under her breath. "Well, you'll be so drugged up, honey, you won't even feel it."
"I'm praying for a C-section." You scoffed lightly. "Carmen's already said he's gonna be a wreck either way."
"Yeah, and he will be, won't you, Cousin?" Richie cackled, clapping his cousin on the back as he passed by.
"Be what?" Carmen muttered, too in the game to even see you there. "Chef, have you finished prep?"
"No, Jeff. Talking to your beautiful baby mama." Tina cooed, giving your arm a gentle squeeze.
Carmen's eyes lifted to you, brow furrowed when he looked at the time. "Hey, baby, I lost track of time." He muttered, lips brushing over yours in greeting, hand gliding down your growing stomach.
"We know you did, Cousin." Richie scoffed. "I went and got her."
"You drove with Richie?" Carmen's eyes flashed to you.
"C'mon, Carm. I'm a good fuckin' driver, alright? Quit busting my balls." Richie snorted, rolling his eyes at him.
"He drove safe, Carmy." You reassured, hand rubbing down his forearms sweetly.
Carmen hummed, rolling his eyes gently, but moved you through the kitchen after Sweeps almost hit you with a pan rounding the corner. "Here, come in my office."
"Is it cooler in there?" You moaned, lip jutting in a pout. "I'm about to stand in the freezer, Carmy, it's so fuckin' hot in here."
"I know." Carmen had learned, knew better now, than to do anything but agree with you. He'd been on the receiving end of your wild hormones too many times, your lashing tongue or worse- the fucking tears.
"I put the fan in here, and I have that neck thing in my little fridge, ok? You should be laying down anyways. Not supposed to be up." Carmen frowned lightly , pushing the door open to his office.
The couch was now used as your temporary napping place throughout the day. Carmen had put the bear in overbearing- a joke you told him that he did not find that humorous- when you became pregnant, and it only got more and more severe as months went on. When you got into your third trimester, put on bed rest the last few weeks, Carmen had taken it beyond serious. Insisting that you come stay with him at the restaurant. He was terrified at the thought of something happening or you going into labor when he wasn't around.
You'd agreed, reluctantly, really only because you wanted Carmen close and... because you were in a restaurant. Any type of craving would be satisfied easily for you.
"I think if I lay down, Carmy, I'm not making it back up for family." You yawned gently, rubbing your eyes with the heel of your hand.
Carmen grinned, reaching to turn on the fan besides the couch, pointing it at you so it would blow the cool air over you. "That's alright. I'll bring it here to you." He muttered, pulling the blinds closed for you.
You sat down, propped against the pillows, head lolling to the side to look at him. Carmen sat beside you, hand rubbing over your stomach. "Where's she at today?"
"Same place she was this morning. Right under my ribs." You grin, moving his hand under your left boob, pressing to the side when her fluttered kicks were.
Carmen beamed, eyes brightening as his hand ghosted over the spot there. "Talk to her, Bear." You muttered, eyes fluttering shut. This pregnancy fatigue was no fucking joke. "She likes your voice."
"Yeah?" Carmen grinned, perking at the compliment.
"Yeah." You nodded. "She likes to hear her Daddy's voice. Makes her kick like fucking crazy."
Carmen leaned down, cheek resting on your stomach gently. "Hi, baby. Are you bein' good?" He muttered, your body flushing with adoration at the gentleness of his words. "You ready to come out soon? We're ready for you to. I know your Mommy is."
You snorted, a breathy laugh cut short by a sharp kick to your ribs. "Keep talking." You muttered, moving his hand a little further to wear the kick was. "Bring out the cookbooks again."
"Yeah?" Carmen hummed, eyes crinkling with amusement. "Your Mommy thinks that's funny, but when you come out knowing how to make bruschetta, she's gonna be blown away. Won't she?" Carmen's voice lilted, a tone of baby talk that had you swooning. It was new, something he just recently started doing in the recent weeks. While you were nesting, so was he, in a different way. Getting used to the idea of being a dad, the anxieties he felt traded in for an excitement.
Carmen could feel it, tiny kicks pressing through your tight, stretched skin. His baby, kicking to the sound of his voice. His heart swelled. "See, she agrees with me."
You laughed, running a hand through his hair. "I know she does. Already got you already, hm, Berzatto?"
"Gets it from her, Mama." Carmen jested back, a playful twinkle in his eyes that had your heart soaring out of your chest, tears welling in the corners- damn pregnancy hormones. "Learnin' from you already."
You smiled wordlessly, a watery grin that had Carmen a little on edge until you reached out, pulling his hand to your lips, pressing a kiss into his palm. Carmen's hand cradling your cheek, free hand going back to where the baby had been kicking, soothing it gently while your eyes fluttered shut.
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darkbluekies · 8 months
Note
Yandere Silas x male reader bodyguard. Relationship:romantic
You and him grew up together in the mafia, Silas fell in love with you but you only saw him as a friend and he ends up falling in love with a girl and this makes you leave the mafia to go abroad with her to live a normal life.
Silas has contacts all over the world and discovers that you are in a country abroad, he kills the girl and kidnaps you
Be mine (you have no fucking choice)
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Yandere!mafia oc x male!bodyguard!reader
Summary: after being friends with Silas for years, you decide that it is time to pack it up and leave, much to Silas’s dismay.
Warnings: criminal stuff, throwing up, getting drunk by force, ropes, cage, mentions of sleeping around, violence, alcohol
Word count: 4.3k
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You put your gun into your belt and get out of the warehouse. 
“Hey, where are you going?” Silas asks and grabs your arm. 
“I’m going home”, you say. “This mission doesn’t interest me.”
You try to walk, but Silas hurries in front of you, blocking your way. He almost reminds you of the little, stubborn boy he once was when he does that. 
“Wait”, he says. “You never drive well after a mission. You have too much adrenaline. You and I can leave together. I can drive you to my house.”
“No, Silas, I’m going home.”
Silas doesn’t react to you calling him by his first name. But he never has. You are special. Only one other person in his entire organization can call him by his first name without getting a bullet through their eyes — that person being his second in command. You and his second in command have known Silas longer than anyone else. You’d dare call his second in command your friend too, although on a more professional level. 
You’ve known Silas longer than his second in command has, and you’ve known his little brother, Ares … and you’ve known about his jealousy for a very long time. It started when you one day went home with his brother to play video games after shool. Next day when you entered school, his brother had a black eye and Silas had not left your side for the entire day. 
It only got worse from there, but you never did anything. You tried to talk to him, but it seemed like the years made him even more jealous. He dated girls time and time again, but created a big fuss when you showed the slightest interest in anyone — be that boy or girl. You became the third wheel in SIlas’ multiple relationships.
He did admit to his love for you, just a few years ago, but you couldn’t reciprocate his feelings. It would make everything harder. You were basically working for him as his bodyguard and didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had with him. Losing him as a friend could mean both mental distress … and physical harm. 
“Does this have anything to do with the girl I’m dating?” Silas asks. 
You look baffled. “No? Why would you think that?”
“Because she’s at the house?”
“No, I just want to go home”, you sigh heavily. “Why do I have to explain my every step to you? You’re not my father, come on.”
“Because I’m worried about you.”
“What a great look for you, mister mafia leader. Don't let anyone else see that.” You nod at him to move. “Move out of the way now, I’m tired and I’m hungry. I want to go home and order a fucking pizza.”
“So this has nothing to do with my girlfriend?”
“What's the matter with you? Are you trying to make me jealous or something? I'm not interested in you, you know that.”
You push past him.
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A month passes. You have been seriously thinking about leaving the mafia for a long time now, but ever since Silas got himself yet another girlfriend it became clear that you have to leave, if you ever want to get yourself one of your own. As long as you stay with him, he will never let you date anyone — apart from him, of course. 
You’ve decided to move abroad. While packing your bags, you feel tears run down your cheeks. You have known Silas for as long as you can remember. You love to be with him, he is your best friend. Betraying him would mean betraying yourself, and his entire organization. People who betray him gets killed personally by Silas. Neither you or Silas would want that.
However, leaving without anyone noticing would be hard. Silas would know that something was wrong right away and he would use his contacts to find you again. You’d need help with creating false documents … and you knew just the man to help with that. 
You hold the phone to your ear. 
“Hello?” a familiar voice asks. 
“Hi, Ares”, you say. 
“How the fuck did you get my number?”
“I did some digging.”
“Holy fuck, Y/N, you need help.”
You chuckle and hear how Ares chuckles in return. 
“What did you want?” he asks. 
“I need some help.” You look around, feeling like you’re being watched, which wouldn't be very far off. “Can we meet up?”
“Sure. Now?”
“If you can.”
“Yeah, I’m not busy.”
You decide to meet up at a café an hour away from your house, hoping that Silas’s associates wouldn’t recognize you here. You couldn’t believe that you would meet Ares again, you haven't seen him since you were teenagers. He looks the same, just a bit more grown up. 
“My brother finally removed the leash around your neck?” Ares chuckles and hugs you. 
“No, not really”, you sigh. “This is why I need your help. I know that you scam tight about everyone. And I need you to help me create false documents, passport … yeah, you name it.”
Ares smirks.
“Little Y/N is going on vacation, I see”, he says. “Where are you going?”
“I don't know.”
“Are you trying to get away from my brother?”
You nod. Ares seems to think for a moment. 
“Go to Spain”, he says. “Silas is banned from there, he won't be able to get you.”
“Ah, I feel so bad about it, though”, you sigh and run your hands through your hair. “He's my best friend. And boss, technically. If I leave, I betray both my best friend and his organization … and then he has the right to kill me.”
“Wait, you're planning to leave the mafia? For real?”
“I don't want to, but I can't live like this. I want to have my own life. I'm a grown man now, the window for opportunities is closing every year.”
“I'll go with you. I'll protect you.”
“You don't have to, Ares. Look at me, I'm capable of taking care of myself.”
You were Silas’s bodyguard, after all. No weak person gets that position. 
“Yes, I know”, Ares says. “But I can help. And you don't have to be lonely.”
“You are an ass too”, you remind him.
“Better than Silas, though.”
You scoff and roll your eyes.
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Ares comes with you to Spain. He has given you false documents with new names and nationalities. You sit together at the airport with your phone in your hand. Your stomach is turning.
“I really should tell him”, you sigh nervously. “I don't want to just leave. I have known him for years. I might betray him work wise, but I can't betray him friend wise. I'm going to call him.”
“I don't think you should”, Ares says. “He has been awful to you, why does he deserve your goodbye?”
You groan and hide your head between your knees. Ares brushes his hand through your hair.
“Come on, sweetie, let it go”, Ares encourages you. “Your new life starts soon. Beach, sun and alcohol, all day long.”
You want to tell him that you don't drink, but decide to leave it be. 
“I have to go to the bathroom”, you excuse yourself and stand up to walk away.
But you don't go to the bathroom stalls. You stand by the large windows at the gate and call Silas.
“Hi, Y/N”, he says.”I haven't heard from you in a little while. I was about to go over to your house and drag you over to mine, because I miss you.”
“I have to talk to you about that”, you say,  hesitantly. “I am not at home, and I probably won't be back.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I'm really sorry that I have gone behind your back, but I am actually leaving … going abroad. And it might be permanent.”
“Have you hit your head?”
“I'm really sorry for betraying you, Silas, you’re my best friend … but frankly, you're always stopping me from getting my own family, while you brag about the women you fuck. I need to get away, at least for a while and get to try to find love. It might not be permanent, but I don't know.”
“Where are you going? You know that you can't leave the country without me knowing. The second any of your credit cards, passport or anything along that way is being used, I'm notified.”
“Well I'm not fucking stupid. I have fixed that.”
Silas scoffs out a mocking laugh.“You don't know how to do that.”
“I had help.”
“From who?” He doesn't sound that cocky anymore.
“Ares.”
Silence. 
“Oh, you can't be fucking serious”, Silas says. 
You can't detect what emotion he's feeling. Perhaps everything all at the same time. Maybe it was a wrong decision to call him before your flight, but the guilt would have eaten you up the entire way there.
“I am”, you answer, trying your best not to let your voice shake. 
“You know what kind of asshole he is, Y/N”, Silas tells you. 
“I have done stuff too, I’m no angel either.” You sigh, shaking your head. “I just called to let you know that I am leaving. I didn’t want you to hear that from anyone else, I wanted you to hear it from me personally. This is a goodbye, Silas — at least for now. Thank you.”
“Y/N-”
You hang up and turn off your phone before returning to Ares who’s sipping on a beer by the gate, where you left him.
When you’re allowed to board the plane, you’re already nauseous. What if it wouldn’t work? What if you changed your mind? You already felt bad. Ares puts his hand on your shoulder while you walk through the middle of the plane, trying to find your seat. Ares takes the aisle seat. 
“Thank you for giving me the window seat”, you chuckle. “I feel like a kid all over again.”
“Well, I can’t let random folks touch you, can I?” Ares responds. “I’m a gentleman after all.”
Ares sits with his phone up the entire flight, working. You know all about his dirty business, how he scams people left to right with his false businesses. 
You fall asleep for a while. Your body has been in a tense position the entire day and finally, you were out of reach. He couldn’t create a storm or shoot down a passenger plane, he wasn’t a God or a military flighter. He is nothing more than a man with a bit too much power for his own liking. And hybris. A whole lot of hybris. Ares turns off his phone to look at you. He smiles slightly. For years, he has tried to take you from Silas. You didn’t want him, but Silas was too selfish to let you be put on the market. He wanted you available at all times, for when the timing was right. Ares stopped trying to reach out to you after a while, knowing that it was pointless, thought that if you wanted to get back in touch with him, you would reach out — and you did. Ares lets his eyes wander over you. He has tried to match your physique, but had no chance against the hours you’ve had to spend at the gym to be able to be Silas’s bodyguard. But under all those muscles, you are nothing but a softie, and that’s why Ares wants you … and Silas too, unfortunately. He always has to compete with his brother over toys they both want.
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Silas scoffs angrily and runs his hand through his black hair, and yet he can’t stop himself from laughing. It’s absurd! All of it!
“Why are you laughing, boss?” his second in command asks shortly. “This is nothing to be happy about.”
“I fucking know that?” Silas snaps back. “Do you think I enjoy knowing that my Y/N is on a plane with my psycopathic brother going to fuck knows where?”
“There are not a lot of places he could go to, though. Think about it.”
“I can’t fucking think! Y/N is leaving me!”
“Silas, sit down before you faint, ‘kay?”
Silas, oddly enough, listens and sits down on the couch in his study with his hands gripping the fabric beside him. His second in command stands in front of him with his hands on his hips. 
“Listen”, he says. “Ares would fuck with you, right?”
“Right”, Silas responds. 
“Which countries are you banned from?”
“Spain, England, Germany, the Netherlands and Ireland.”
“So, one of those countries.”
“But which?!”
“His favorite. Which one is the warmest?”
“Spain?”
“Bingo.”
Silas’s eyes widens and he breaks out into a shocked smile. Why didn’t he think about this? Ares isn’t smart.
“...how the fuck do I do this?” he realizes. “I can’t just take a plane into Spain without being arrested the second I step off the plane. We will need another way. We could get a boat and sneak in.”
“I’ll see what I can do, boss.”
“Do it quickly, I know my brother and he will take what I want. If he does, I will never forgive myself.”
The reason why Silas has never let you date anyone is because he wants what can only be had one way, your innocence. 
He sighs and walks out of the room where he finds the woman he’s dating standing with her hands together, looking worried. A certain rage takes over him. The sight of her had made you want to leave. He knows very well that it isn’t her fault, but he can’t help but think that it is. Her existence has put you in a position of discomfort, and for that, she has to pay. Silas doesn’t want to look at her, it only makes him nauseous. 
He pulls up his gun from his belt, and without a second thought, he fires off and watches the innocent girl’s limp body hit the floor. But for now, he can’t bring himself to feel bad. 
He has to find you. Ares is only nice as long as you're on his side, if you want to disagree with him, he's going to strip you off everything. You just don't know how horrific Ares could be.
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Your first few days in Spain couldn’t be more than idyllic — if it weren’t for the fact that you look over your shoulder wherever you go. You scan the areas for familiar faces of Silas’s gang. 
“Relax, will you?” Ares says and hooks his arm around your shoulders. “Just enjoy the scenery instead.”
“I think I’m going insane”, you mutter. 
“A shot will help with that.”
“I don’t drink, you know that.”
Ares just smiles. You’re on your way back to the house from a restaurant Ares had treated you to. It was obviously a date, but you didn’t know how to tell him that you wanted to take things slow. Ares has never been a patient man … and you aren’t even sure if Ares is the person you want to date currently. Frankly, thanks to Silas, you don’t know what you want to do yet. You’ve only gotten your freedom to do whatever you want a few days ago, and it’s more overwhelming than you expected. 
“Do you want to come to my room?” Ares asks when you get to the front door. “We don’t even have to do anything, we can just watch TV.”
“I start to believe that the only reason you wanted to come with me on this trip was to get me in bed”, you scoff and put the keys in the lock. 
“Not only-”
“Ares, go to the bar and pick up someone there instead.”
“I can’t leave you alone, I told you that I was going on the trip to protect you.”
“And i told you that I didn’t need protection. If you’re horny, go.”
Ares sighs and gives up. “Fine, call me if you need me.”
“I’ll be fine, I’m tired.”
Ares nods and gives your back a tap before walking back the way you came from. You unlock the door, going into the house. In the corner of your eye, you can tell that something is moving. Instantly, you go into attack mode, but freezing when you notice who it is that is standing up from the armchair.
“I feel like a dad catching their underage kid sneaking in after a night out”, the second in command says. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?” you question. 
The second in command jerks his head. “Fucking guess.”
“Did Silas really send you because he can’t enter the country?” you laugh. “That’s so tragic.”
“Laugh all you want, you’re not the one that have been on a small fucking fishing boat for twelve hours straight!” He collects himself and sighs. “I will give you one chance to come with me voluntarily before I beat your head in.”
You scoff and cross your arms over your chest. “Try me.”
Silas must have equipped his second in command with things he knew that you wouldn’t be able to combat, because in one way or another, you lose consciousness. 
You wake up in a dark, cold room. At once, you try to move your hands to your eyes to rub them clean from drowsiness, but quickly notice how your hands are tied to something behind you. That’s when you realize that you’re stuck in a cage the size of a garden shed, in — what looks like — a cargo hold. Your hands are tied to one of the cage’s bars behind you. Your head is pounding from the hit his second in command had given you. 
“Look at that, he’s finally waking up”, a familiar voice says. 
“So we don’t need the water?” his second in command asks. 
“Let’s keep it.”
Silas walks into the cage, crouching down in front of you. He takes a hold of your chin, directing your head whichever way he wants. 
“You gave him a bump the size of mount everest”, Silas mutters over his shoulder. 
“He’s a trained fighter”, his second in command replies. “I had to do what I had to do, you know?”
“I guess.”
Silas lets go of your pounding head. You groan softly, feeling out of your own body, while still being trapped inside the cage. You start to cough and Silas grabs the bucket of icy water, holding it to your mouth. At first, you gulp it down … and then realize that it was sea water. You throw it up, right back into the bucket. Silas gives the bucket to his second in command, telling him to throw it out.
“That was fucking disgusting”, you grimace and gag. 
“You kind of deserve it.” He fixes your hair that has started to stick onto your forehead. “Why did you do that to me, Y/N?”
“You didn’t let me have my own life. I was living yours, as a side character.”
“You betrayed me.”
You meet his brown — almost black — eyes and feel your heart sink. You have never seen such sadness in his eyes before. 
“I know”, you say and turn down your gaze. “I felt really bad about it. I know the rules, and I won’t make a fuzz about it, but can I beg of you that it won’t be you who kills me? I don’t want that to be our last memory together.”
Silas seems to be taken aback. 
“I’m not going to kill you”, he says. “In fact, no one is.”
“But I betrayed you-”
“I know, but I can’t kill you.”
“You can’t bend the rules, or else you’ll get a mutiny.”
“Who said that I was letting you off the hook?”
You watch how Silas walks out of the cage, picks something up from the floor, and returns with a bottle in his hands. 
“I know that you are strong”, he says, popping the bottle open, “and violent. So, I’m going to keep you calm for the rest of the journey to Portugal. Open your mouth.”
“What is that?” you ask suspiciously, eyeing the bottle wearily. 
“Vodka.”
You shake your head quickly. “That’s so foul-”
“I did not ask for your opinion.”
He puts the opening of the bottle to your lips and you try to turn your head, but Silas forces you to drink. With one hand, he holds the bottle, and with the other he holds your chin to make sure that you can’t turn away. You have no other choice but to swallow the burning liquid. He doesn’t let you stop until half the bottle are gone. You cough and gag, but can’t throw up. 
“You absolute fu—fucking—”, you cough. 
“Calm down, baby boy, it’s just some vodka”, Silas says nonchalantly and takes a sip. “Good for your heart.”
He puts his hand on your heavily raising chest, trying to calm your breathing and feel your racing heart. The alcohol turns your body heat up and you want nothing more than for that bucket of water to come back. 
“My right hand man will be here to make sure that you’re not sober for a single second”, Silas says and stands up. 
“You can’t fucking leave me like this!” you burst out. 
“Then stop me.”
You fight against the ropes and Silas smirks triumphantly before leaving the cargo hold.
The second in command came in every half an hour to give you new sips. You tried to refuse, but with your hands locked behind your back and head spinning with alcohol, there wasn't much you could to to stop him.
You haven't drank anything since you were a young teenager and the rocking motions of the sea wasn't helping you. You refused to throw up again, refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing you in such a state next time they entered.
You hated alcohol even worse now. Fuck Silas. 
After what felt like hours — in your drunken state it could very well have been days, or minutes — you couldn't take it anymore.
“Silas!” you shout and your tone goes to a whining, slurred melody. “Silas!”
You've never felt so helpless.
Silas enters with his second in command tightly behind him. He enters the cage and crouches down in front of your pathetic form.
“What?” he asks, cupping your cheek.
“Please stop”, you beg and sob, but you're not sure if the tears come from the heart or the alcohol. “Please …I will do what you want …”
Silas grabs the back of your sweaty neck and directs your wet face into his shoulder, letting you cry. You can feel that your hands are freed from the ropes.
Silas picks you up, carrying you up to the decks above water. His second in command holds your head so that you won't smash it against one of the sharp corners. 
Silas tucks you into a bed and leaves you to rest. You can see the shining sun outside the round porthole window as you fall asleep. 
He walks out onto the deck of the fishing boat and smirks.
“What?” his second in command asks.
“I'm not single anymore”, Silas chuckles.
“You won again, congratulations. Will you put Y/N into the basement?”
“He can handle that. But most important thing is that he's coming home where he belongs, and there won't be any more childish outbursts.”
“What happened with your brother, by the way?”
“Who cares? I don't want to meet him anyway, so the less I need to deal with him, the better.”
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When the fishing boat reaches Portugal, you are dragged to a car and to the airport. You don't say much. Silas disregard for your hate of alcohol and childish behavior has put you off. If it weren't for the fact that you are hus prisoner now, you wouldn't be his friend anymore.
Silas’s private jet stands ready on an empty field. He holds your arm as he pushes you up the stairs. You rip your arm from his hold.
“I can walk by myself, let me go”, you mutter.
Silas sighs. You sit down in a seat opposite Silas and cross your arms.
“You are glaring at me”, Silas says without glancing up from his phone.
“I'm just trying to determine if you have brain cells”, you spit.
“Aren't you a fun lad?”  
“Where is my phone, by the way?”
“Like sharp objects and weapons should be: far away from you.”
“Oh, I see. You're going to treat me like a child.”
“Y/N, I'm not an idiot. I trained you, I know how dangerous you are with weapons. You are even more violent than I am at times.”
“Obviously with good reasons.”
Silas glances up from his phone. You twitch your eyebrows testingly. You might not have your weapons, but your tongue is still sharp. 
Being in a relationship with Silas might be more interesting than you thought, and Silas sure as hell will realize that you're not going down without a fight.
“Your girlfriend, then?” you question. “What does she think?”
“Frankly, she can't think a lot at the moment”, Silas responds, turns off his phone and luts it on the table between you. 
You get the hint immediately. 
“Killing her was unnecessary”, you say.
“Running away from me was unnecessary too”, Silas adds.
“This is going to be a stable relationship.”
“It will be the second you stop with the childish attitude.”
While keeping eye contact, you push his phone off the table. Silas eye twitches as he bends down to get it.
“You're going into the basement when we get home”, he says.
“Can I hit back? Or are you going to have full control and tie me up again? Is that the only way you can win over me? With me being completely helpless?”
“Oh, shut the fuck up before I let you ride on the airplane wing.”
“Sounds good to me.”
You stare at each other, and you refuse to look away first. You're going to make him regret imprisoning you.
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