#and now that im better at making skins i have to go and redo my other ones … | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

agonyaster · 1 year

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yes i forgot to post this here so now im doing it very late

more depot agent musings, you know the drill

ao3 link

…

Some people would say Jackie’s up too late for someone who has to go to work that day, but they’ve never been one to listen to people like Isadore. And they’re sure Isadore would say something just like that.

But there’s just something so special about wandering the aisles of a shitty 24/7 convenience store perched on the edge of the city that never sleeps. The constant droning buzz of the fluorescent lights overhead, soft thumps and scuffles coming from the storage room near the back where a Gurdurr and its trainer are unloading supplies, slow breaths of the cashier as she blasts music through her headphones and pinches the skin of her forearm to keep herself awake— it’s wonderful in a peculiar sort of way.

It’s intimately peaceful, something you don’t tend to see in Nimbasa.

Jackie hums a jaunty little tune to themself and rounds the corner, eyes glittering with delight as they focus in on the only other customer in the store. They’d recognize that stupid little ponytail anywhere.

In a few quick strides, Jackie’s hovering right at his shoulder, unable to hide the devilish smirk creeping onto their face.

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Cameron screams so loudly Jackie can feel the vibrations in the back of their skull. Perfection.

He whirls around and trips over his own feet, stumbling backwards into the shelf and smacking his head against one of the racks with a yelp of fear and surprise. Ah, two scares for the price of one; could the day get any better?

“No need to get so excited over little old me,” they tease, peering down at Cameron. He blinks up at them confusedly for a few seconds before rocketing to his feet so fast Jackie’s mildly disappointed he doesn’t hit his head again.

He tries to clean up the shelves, but his hands are shaking so badly he just keeps knocking the boxes of hair dye over as soon as he sets them back up. It’s like watching a Minccino run around on one of those exercise wheels.

“I, uh… Hi, Jackie,” Cameron stammers out, looking over his shoulder as if to check they were still there. It ends up costing him two fallen boxes.

“You didn’t have the graveyard shift, did you? Isadore was the one who traded off with me.”

“N-no, I didn’t.”

“Why you out so early, then? Got the midnight munchies?”

“Just… couldn’t sleep. Got a little stir crazy I guess.” Cameron laughs weakly. “Needed to get the stuff to redo my bangs anyway, so… Two Ducklett, one stone.”

Jackie doesn’t really believe him. The bangs thing is true enough, they are looking a little lackluster these days, but Cameron doesn’t seem like the kind of person to go out when he can’t sleep. He doesn’t even seem like the kind of person that has trouble sleeping.

But even then, there’s something off about how he holds himself. Cameron can recover from a scare twice as bad in half the time at the station, but his hands are still shaking. His breaths come in short, quick bursts that makes Jackie wonder how he hasn’t passed out yet.

Worst of all is his face— it just looks so wrong.

It’s more uncommon for Cameron not to burst into tears in the middle of the work day, so Jackie’s gotten pretty used to it. He’s one of those people with a pretty crying face, rosy cheeks and wide eyes and all that stuff.

Now though, Cameron’s eyes are bloodshot and puffy, nose tinged red and cheeks blotchy. His teeth are clamped down on his bottom lip to keep it from trembling with the rest of him. It’s the most uncomfortable Jackie’s ever seen him

“You sure that’s it?” they ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah. I’m sure,” Cameron says, not sounding very sure at all. “I’m fine; I’ll stop bothering you. Have a good night- er, morning. See you at the station.”

He grabs a box of the bleach, starts for the register and the half-asleep clerk. Jackie watches his retreat, something uncomfortable bubbling just underneath the surface of their skin.

To hell with it. They need to touch up their roots anyway.

“Hey. Cameron.”

He pauses and looks back at them. His shoulders are so tense they’re practically roommates with his ears.

“How about we make a deal? You get enough bleach for the both of us, I’ll get my dye and some takeout for two.”

Cameron doesn’t say yes, but he grabs the second box of bleach that Jackie offers him anyway. They check out in silence, the worker barely having enough energy to tell them to have a nice night.

Jackie leads them down to the subway tunnels, only having to wait a few minutes for the next one to arrive. During those few minutes, Cameron keeps flapping his mouth open and closed like a Magikarp out of water.

“If you’ve got something to say, just say it,” Jackie grumbles as the train pulls up to the platform.

He seems to be weighing the pros and cons as they board, but eventually Cameron’s curiosity outweighs the fear. “You dye your hair?”

“Tell a soul and I’ll have to take yours.”

Cameron gives a breathy chuckle and sinks down into one of the seats. It’s kind of disappointing he didn’t scream again or grovel for forgiveness. Well, you win some, you lose some. Probably could’ve put a bit more into the delivery, if they’re being honest.

The rest of the train ride goes just fine. Cameron ends up falling into a sleep more unstable Isadore’s temper, falling in and out of various states of consciousness for the next few minutes. When the subway finally rattles to a halt, Jackie grabs him by the arm and guides Cameron out of the station as he shoots awake and gets his bearings.

“You live in Opelucid?” he asks once he’s lucid enough to recognize his surroundings.

“Yeah. Commute’s a bitch sometimes but I don’t have to pay an arm and a leg in rent.” They shrug. “Buildings are really old and a total pain, but what can you do?”

“I dunno, I like them. Kinda… classic.” The streetlight illuminates Cameron’s face in an odd way, but it looks like the blotchiness in his cheeks is going down.

“You say that, but you’ve never had to pay to have every last electric line in your house replaced because the breaker box got so hot it ended up melting through some wires and setting a small fire in the basement.” Jackie pauses. “But yeah, the architecture’s nice. I like the domes.”

They walk in silence for a while longer, being careful to keep their footsteps light as they climb the stairs leading up to Jackie’s building.

“There’s gloves and brushes and stuff in the hall closet if you want to get it out,” they say, unbuttoning their jacket. “If not, just make yourself at home; I’m going to go get changed.”

Jackie trots off to their bedroom, shedding their hat and tie as they close the door behind them. When they come back, in plaid pajama pants and a tank top advertising the Castelia gym, Cameron’s scrubbing his hands in the sink; all the materials are laid out on a dish towel like he’s preparing for a surgery.

“Someone’s excited,” they muse with a lopsided grin.

“I just figured it would be best to get started… I couldn’t find the foil, though. And I didn’t want to poke around too much.”

“Cabinet over the stove.” Jackie leans against the counter and pulls out their phone, scrolling lazily. “You have any opinions on food?”

Cameron cocks his head to the side like a Lillipup. “Uh, I guess? People always say I look like I enjoy sweets, but I’m more into savory stuff. I can’t really handle spicy.”

“I mean like, what do you want for takeout?”

“Oh.” Cameron’s face turns the color of a Darumaka. “Uh, I don’t really care.”

“Nothing spicy though, yeah?”

“Uh… If you would.”

With an amused chuckle, they tap away at their phone as Cameron finally pulls the aluminum foil down from the cabinet. His shakes still aren’t totally gone though, so the tail end of the box kicks out to the side and sends an unopened box of tea tumbling out of the cabinet.

It bounces harmlessly off of his forehead, and Jackie can’t help but cackle.

Cameron scrambles to pick up the tea and put it back in the cabinet, something that’s proving to be difficult for someone so… vertically challenged; Jackie finishes up on their phone and shuts it off.

“Order’s been placed, but it’ll take a bit to get here.”

“Oh, uh okay.” They look up to see Cameron swatting the cabinet closed and gathering the supplies up in his arms.

“What are you doing?”

“Going to the bathroom? There isn’t a mirror in here.”

“You think I’m going to make you do it yourself?” Cameron stares at them blankly, making it clear that he very much did expect that. “What am I, an animal?” Jackie pulls one of the stools away from the counter and pats the seat. “Park it, Cammy.”

“What?”

They smack the stool again. “Sit.”

“Are you sure?”

Another slap. “Would I have brought you here if I wasn’t sure?

He gives in, and Jackie snaps on a pair of gloves, picking up the brush and dunking it into the goop. For the next few minutes they stand in silence as Jackie works the bleach onto every hair.

“You seem pretty used to this,” Jackie says, startling Cameron out of his meditative state.

“Hm? Well, yeah. My bangs have been like this for a few years.”

“I mean you're not like…. jumpy. Thought you would be with me doing it.”

“My sister used to do it for me. That’s probably why.” He laughs. “Mom didn’t trust me, so I got Clara to do it by doing the dishes for two weeks.”

“So she’s older than you? Your sister, I mean.”

“By a few years.”

Jackie hums. “What does she do?”

“Graphic design.”

“Ew, a service job.”

“We work service jobs, Jackie.”

“Sure, but at least the challengers don’t yell at me for how I battle.”

“Yeah. That’s Isadore’s job.”

Jackie smiles to themself and the two fall into silence until Cameron’s bangs are fully coated and the sound of tearing aluminum foil fills the kitchen. As the last lock of hair is wrapped, the two switch spots.

Cameron’s finally stopped shaking, something Jackie’s extremely grateful for as he combs through their hair and starts to bleach the roots.

“You seem to know what you’re doing,” they comment. “Thanks for that.”

“I’m used to bleaching for another person. Haven’t done it in a while though, so sorry if I mess anything up.”

“With Clara?”

“Huh?”

“You’re used to it because of Clara?”

“No. Different sister.”

“How many do you have?”

“Three.”

“All older?”

Cameron hums affirmatively. “Yeah. We used to be pretty close.”

“Used to?”

He laughs awkwardly, obviously trying to lighten the mood. “I… yeah. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

They shrug and examine their nails. Hmm. Interesting. Might be part of the reason he was out tonight. “Can do, Camcam.”

“Camcam?”

“Would you prefer Cammy? Or Cameroony?”

“Cameroony?” The surprise is out of his voice, replaced with something a touch more affectionate.

“Don’t laugh too hard: I’ll be here all night.” Jackie tracks Cameron’s blurry reflection in the window above the sink. They think they can see a smile.

Cameron hums under his breath as he finishes up Jackie’s hair and they futz around on their phone, refreshing the delivery app a few dozen times.

“It’s still gonna be awhile for the food,” they say, sliding off of the stool and heading for the fridge, pausing only to grab a spoon from one of the drawers. “You can go into the living room, I guess.”

Cameron nods and scampers off as Jackie opens the freezer door and stoops down low. After a few moments they rise and swat it closed, popping the lid off of the pint of ice cream.

As they settle down onto the couch, Cameron leans over and reads the side of the carton, eyebrows raising.

“Cotton candy?”

Jackie carves out a scoop and sticks the spoon in their mouth. “What’s so wrong with it?”

“Nothing! I just didn’t expect it from you.” Cameron pauses. “I feel kinda bad, I don’t really… know that much about you.”

“Not a lot of people know much about me.” They shrug. “I like it that way.”

“Why?”

“I dunno. You know my name, and know I do my job well. What else is really needed?”

Cameron picks at his nails. “I just want you to know I care.”

“I already know that you care. You don’t need to know my favorite ice cream flavor to prove to me that you care.” Jackie watches his face carefully. Cameron looks close to tears, because of course he does. “That’s not gonna be enough for you, is it?”

“I doubt it.”

“Alright, fine. You wanna know something special about me?” They kick their feet up onto the coffee table. “I like watching this stupid Galarian baking show. But because it only streams in Galar, I had to hire someone to fly over and modify my TV so I can intercept the satellite stream because I’m too impatient to wait for someone to pirate it. Now if anything breaks she’s the only one who can fix it.”

“Is the show really that good?”

“Oh dragons no. It’s horrible. You should watch them try and make Paldean stuff. Complete shitshow.”

Cameron starts to laugh, but it quickly devolves into a scream as something floats up through the spot on the couch next to him. He clings to Jackie’s arm and cowers as Banette tottles her way to the arm rest.

“Well, that definitely woke the whole house,” Jackie murmurs before turning their attention to Banette. “Have a nice nap?” Banette rattles out a greeting. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, you lazy lump.”

They turn their attention to Cameron, who’s gone back to shaking like a leaf. “Oh come on. You don’t need to be scared of her.”

He detaches himself from Jackie’s arm but makes no attempt to move back to his original spot.

“She isn’t going to bite you. Her mouth is a zipper.”

“It’s not I just…” Cameron blinks. “Why is she blue?”

Jackie swallows another spoonful of ice cream. “She’s a shiny.”

Obviously intrigued, Cameron inches towards her. “I’ve never seen a shiny pokémon before… I thought they were just a myth.”

“Nah, they’re real, just rarer than Isadore in a good mood.”

There’s a high-pitched screech and suddenly an Absol’s got its face shoved into Jackie’s ice cream, a Zubat’s swooping down from the ceiling fan, and the old teapot on the coffee table is floating.

Jackie pauses, watching the green Zubat fly circles around Cameron’s head. “I’m really not the best example of that rarity thing.”

“How do you have so many? Why do you have so many?”

A shrug. “I collect 'em, I guess.”

“Why? Just to say you have them? I didn’t even know you owned personal pokémon.”

“Eh, it’s not that. They’re… different. A lot of shinies are abandoned by their families when they’re young because the colors make it harder for them to camouflage.” They scratch under Absol’s chin. “There are collectors that shiny hunt just to have them, to show off and then stuff the poor things in the PC. I don’t like that. These pokémon aren’t used to good things. I want good to be the default for them.”

“That’s really sweet of you, Jackie.”

“I guess. Besides, I don’t really have anyone else. Gotta spend my paycheck on something.” Polteageist drifts over and starts to levitate Jackie’s spoon. “Vacation days, too. I’m headed to Johto next, looking for a Spinarak.”

“Oh. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

A dull buzzing, like the sound of a Yanma flapping its wings, fills the room and Jackie’s on their feet. “That’s our food.”

“Was that the doorbell?”

“Yes.”

“Why does it sound like that?”

“Because Polteageist is scared of a normal doorbell, that’s why.” They come back into the living room and dump the takeout bags onto the coffee table. “Now shut up and eat.”

And he does, without complaint. They make their way through half of the spring rolls, take a break for a second round of bleaching and dyeing, and attack the rest of the food while it sets.

By the time the food’s all gone, Cameron’s bangs have been bleached and toned, Jackie’s roots are properly purple again, and there’s sudsy water all around the edges of the sink.

Cameron looks down at his phone and cringes, eyes flitting towards the door. “Thank you for everything, Jackie, but I should probably get going-”

“You’re not leaving.”

Cameron goes whiter than a sheet. “I’m not?”

“Nope. Crash on the couch.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose-”

“If you try and go home right now, you’re going to get mugged. That’s what happens in Nimbasa at like four in the morning.” Jackie watches in real time as all the anxious fire in him dies. “Yeah, that’s right. I’ll go grab you a blanket.”

When they come back with the blankets, Cameron’s already conked out on the couch. Absol’s licking his fingers, draining them of any possible food remnants.

Jackie clicks their tongue and sets the blankets down off to the side, stifling a yawn. Entertaining guests is a lot harder than they thought.

#depot agents #pokemon #writing #depot agent jackie #depot agent cameron #pokemon bw #jackies not a ghost in this bc its funnier if theyre just a normal person

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caeora · 2 years

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Hello everyone!

Today I finished a pack Ive been working on now for over a month! The first of my new creature packs that will cover the DnD 5e SRD! That might seem like a long time for only 6 creatures but since ive decided to revamp and redo things at a higher resolution I had an issue that I need to tackle head-on.

Humanoids have always presented something of a problem for me, firstly because I was never very good at drawing realistic poses (something KTech is very good at, which makes up for it) I was also not that great at drawing faces either but even these problems pale in comparison to the fact that fantasy roleplaying games, both DnD and pathfinder have an absolutely massive variety of humanoids, humans, dwarfs, tieflings, kobolds, goblins etc etc and drawing each of these as their own unique token is doable of course but very very time-consuming.

So.. With this revamp I started designing a better system for drawing humanoids that would work across the varied multitude of characters, ancestries and races that I might need or want to draw. Basically, heads, skins, clothes, weapons, skin colours, eyes, all matter of optional bits and pieces now fit a “standard template” so drawing and creating humanoids will be a bit faster and work with one another mostly! This is perhaps one of the most exciting things I'm working on and honestly, I’m very happy with how they look, working for both circle portraits and top-down views!

This first pack has a couple of basic variants of humanoid commoners to show off the idea a bit, still a lot to do but you can hopefully see where Im going with it!

Oh! Going forwards every pack will have Circle Varients included in the free pack.

There are Shadow Variants & Non-Shadow Variants as before.

This pack is available for Free over on Patreon!

#token #tokens #commoner #peasant #rpg #dnd #ttrpg #vtt #foundry #roll20 #human #baboon #cat #badger #bat #shrub

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wall-e-gorl · 2 years

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old v new

just want to talk about the differences between these two pieces :] casual essay under the cut

first off, in the nine months between making the first one and redoing it i have a) learned how to make space backgrounds in a way that i am very fond of, b) picked up a textured brush, and c) have gained some more understandings of my layer modes

now. i didnt like make a new piece and start over from scratch. i keep a save of the art with layers and a save of the art i can post. i have a whole system, is why my art always have a 1 at the end if youve ever looked at the file names. the only thing i completely changed is the background. got rid of the stars added my space and readded stars and added the moons. and some glow at the bottom.

other than that i color shifted the ship wall theyre leaning against to be more purple than green, and did some heavy blurring and smudging on the lighting and changed the layer modes. i had left the group layer modes on the wrong setting (pass through vs normal) and it dimmed all the work i did so much. because of that i actually had to go back, after i fixed it, to tone down a lot of the lighting i did, especially on the faces. i took my big textured brush (which i also used for the background. deceptively simple to do that actually) and just set it to eraser mode and did a few taps over the spots that needed it. i used the same method on the moon actually, i just made a white circle and duplicated it and erased it with a tap and it ended up like that.

anyway all of that is to say that the little changes really changed the whole, like effect of the piece. before, everything felt really flat and i was disappointed in how the lighting showed up, but i thought there was nothing i could do. the back lighting was a last minute decision and it looked cool but also a bit out of place. it was a great concept but i didnt have all the technical skills and the right eye for what i wanted. i had actually drawn it before and gone no i need to try harder and do better with this actually. i went hard into the anatomy and lighting, but fell the the side on the background.

which is what i went into this time, and what helped give it the effect it has now. they arent as flat with the improved lighting, the background has depth and actually looks like its a night sky, the moons give context for the back light, and its no longer all the some sort of contrast.

in the before they kind of blended into everything else because it was all given the same emphasis in contrast. if you step back and squint the only things that stand out are fjord's lighter green skin and jesters skin. not the worst things to stand out ofc, thats their faces on the most part. but in the after, its their whole bodies (and the moon) that stand out and thats what i want.

one thing i didnt expect to see, when i set them next to each other, was to think that the newer one seemed smaller than the other. they look smaller, when i didnt resize them at all. i didnt touch the line art, except to put it on a multiply layer and to make it a color other than black (almost black green and almost black blue). that, plus the enhanced lighting, and surprisingly the moon in the back also makes the moment sadder and more lonely? which is the exact mood in the actual scene im portraying, where jester and fjord have a talk and jester sheds her happy mask for a moment to share her sadness and loneliness at leaving her mom. in the new piece they are surrounded by darkness, with the only visible features being themselves lit by the moon and the moon itself. in the older piece the sky is lighter and filled with stark stars that negate that effect completely. With all that starkness consolidated into the single white moon, it feels as though the moon is a third figure in the scene that, since it is addressed and centered, makes it so that any notion of any other audience moot. the moon is the only audience for the moment between them and its indifferent (not a stand in for us, because we are not indifferent). Ruidus is there as well, because of what we know about it now. all the forboding and negitive enegery around it, and having placed it above jester, shows that its a serious, if beautiful, moment of her, again, showing sadness and loneliness, non-positive emotions.

anyway all of this is to just say: look at what i did! isnt it neat how i did it. look at the very cool side effect it caused! wow im so proud of that, isnt it so cool.

i also think itd perhaps be a really cool card for jester and molly's oracle deck, im thinking connection and then upside down is loneliness. idk i havent looked at the cards and their meanings and the specific art yet, i just thought id be cool cause of the connection/loneliness theme of jester that kinda first shows its face to us with this moment

if youve read all of this i love you

#see i DID do ib lit and ib lit 2 and i did learn SOMETHING even if it wasnt as much as they wanted #anyway! back to it #feel free to talk in the replies i just dont want this to spread more than the actual art posts ya know.#my art

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meltwonu · 3 years

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55. “Tell me again.”

95. “Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? ‘Cause if you did we’re having sex. Right now.”

notes; racer/street-racing!au, dom!vernon, a little bit of brat!reader, enemies!au kinda, dirty talk, degradation, name-calling, overstimulation, fucking outdoors, spanking, squirting! 🥴 I want this KJHFGKJHDFKJH YKWIM UGH 😩😩 PUH-LEASE IM SO STRESSED HAHAHHA also my laptop froze when I was 2 paragraphs from finishing this so thank god for auto save or else ☠️ lmao kfgkhd As always, thank you so much for requesting! Enjoy! 💕

*queued post.

‘Meet me at the top of the hill, on the east side of town. 3AM. I want a redo of our last race since you cheated.’

You’d rolled your eyes at Vernon’s immature message before grabbing your car keys off of the hook by the door on your way out - not even bothering to change out of your shirt and lounge shorts as you hopped into your car and sped your way to the familiar meeting place.

In your opinion, Vernon was always somewhat of a sore loser when it came to you.

He never seemed to care when he lost to anyone else, but when it came to you, he’d always find some way to convince himself that you cheated - loud huffs and angry stares when you’d deny it every time.

Not that you minded.

Because Vernon was also incredibly predictable.

He’d call you out, convince you to have a redo of a race, and he’d finish off the night by fucking you on the hood of his car - hard and fast under the moonlight, just like the two of you liked it.

And the outcome was the same regardless of who won the rematch.

The only difference was how much harder he fucked you.

“Well? I don’t know what you want me to say, really.”

Vernon rolls his eyes, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his sweats as the two of you stare at the ‘Road Closed’ sign preventing the two of you up the mountain.

“Say that you cheated and we can go home? It’s easy, doll.”

“Is it, though? Whether I say I did or not, you still wanna fuck my pretty ‘lil pussy, don’t you, Vernon? You won’t really let me go home that easily, will you? Such a shame if you did... Maybe you really are getting soft.”

You scoff under your breath when you see his jaw clench - Bingo.

“Listen here, you ‘lil cockslut, you--you better watch your tongue with me.”

“Aww, stuttering? Cute.” You give Vernon a once over; licking and biting your lip at his casual attire, yet dominating aura as he stands across from you.

“Did you just look me up and down and then bite your lip? ‘Cause if you did, we’re having sex. Right now. I don’t care about the rematch but I care about that attitude of yours, brat.” He growls, pushing off the side of his car as he presses you into your own - the cold metal pressed into your back as you shiver.

“You can just be honest, y’know? We both know how desperate you are for my pussy~ You probably think about it when your fist is wrapped around your cock and you’re wishing you were fucking me instead of your hand~ So hot and wet when you’re inside me~” You grin up at his annoyed face for a split second before he’s harshly turning you around and forcing your upper half down onto the glass window of the driver’s side of your car.

“Shouldn’t have said that, doll.”

There’s only a mild sense of panic when you hear rustling in the bushes near-by.

“O-oh, fuck, ngh, w-wait, I--a-ah!”

But the way Vernon’s cock slams into you and makes your toes curl in your shoes makes you forget anything and everything about the wilderness surrounding you.

“Mm, don’t tell me you’re scared of the outdoors now, doll? You should be used to taking my cock out here like a needy ‘lil slut.”

He raises a hand and brings it back down onto your skin; the stinging sensation on your ass slowly morphing into pleasure as you moan out into the cold air.

“Mmnh… Fuck, your cock feels so fuckin’ big i-inside me… Ah, I--I feel so f-full... Puh--please fuck me harder…! S-spank me h-harder!”

A smirk etches itself onto Vernon’s features; eyes glimmering with excitement as he doubles his pace and brings his hand down onto the skin of your ass in tandem with his thrusts.

“Is it just me or are you begging me more tonight, doll? Hmm? Are you feeling guilty, after all?” Vernon laughs loudly as you whine back in return; the tension in your body about to snap when he spanks your ass for the 8th time in a row.

“N-no, just, mmh, you f-fuck me so good… I love i-it when, ah, you’re r-rough with me... Feels like ‘m gonna, ngh, c-cum…”

And before Vernon can retort, you let out a clipped whine before your walls are fluttering around his cock as you cum - body trembling against the cold metal of your car when his pace doesn’t let up and he fucks you right through your high.

“What did you just say, cockslut? Tell me again how having my cock inside your tight, slutty ‘lil pussy makes you cum.”

Garbled cries of his name mix in with slurred curses and shaky whines as your entire body buzzes with pleasure and Vernon can only curse softly under his breath when he feels his cock start to throb within your tight heat.

“Gonna make you go home with my cum dripping from your pretty ‘lil hole... Maybe it’ll stain the seats in your car and it’ll be a good reminder of who fucks you this good.”

“V---Vernon, mmnh, I-I’m, ah, fuck, h-hurry and c-cum... ‘m so s--sensitive... I--I can’t...” You whimper; the overstimulation biting when his cock repeatedly taps your g-spot and only makes you want to cum again even thought your first orgasm had just ebbed away.

“Can’t what? Take my cock anymore, hmm? Should I just cum all over your pretty ‘lil ass and get you all messy that way instead?”

“N-no! W-want you to, ngh, c-cum inside me... Fuh--fuck, it feels so h-hot when you do...”

You feel his cock throbbing inside your pussy and it only takes a few more skillful snaps of his hips before he’s grunting and sheathing himself fully inside your pussy as he cums deep inside you.

“O-oh, fuck! Vernon!”

Your teary eyes clamp shut as you feel yourself cum again; this time much wetter than before as you squirt all over Vernon’s sweats as he scoffs.

“Fuck, dirty ‘lil slut.”

He continues to fuck you as he rides out his orgasm and lets you ride out your second one - only letting up when your choked sobs mix in with your pleas for him to let up.

“I, hiç, c--can’t cum, hic, a-again...”

Vernon spanks your ass once more as you yelp and he slowly pulls out of you; his cum dribbling out of your spent pussy as you moan at the emptiness you suddenly feel.

“Mm, you made such a mess, doll~ Squirting all over me and yourself... Got it all over your short too, like the dirty girl you are~”

“Ngh... s-shut up...” You rest against the cold metal - eyelids feeling heavy as you catch you breath with him still standing behind you and watching as his cum trickles down your inner thighs.

“Hah, well, I still expect that re-match when the road’s open, doll. So don’t get too comfortable.”

#vernon smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #vernon scenarios #vernon imagines #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #vernon fic #vernon #svt fic

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

I’m Right Here

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Mentions of a car accident (minor), Injuries

Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Summary: There is nothing scarier than those moments when every breath you take is shallow; when your heart is racing and your body is drenched in cold sweat. When you are rushing to the aid of a hurt loved one, knowing you can never be fast enough because your mind and fear are at least a mile ahead of you. Corpse has to experience these exact moments after a frightening call that informs him of his girlfriend’s car accident.

Requested by @sugiliteshadow . Hi! Thank you so much for you request, darling. Sorry to be posting it so late and I can’t thank you enough for your patience. I hope the fic itself makes up for the wait. Please enjoy! Stay safe! Love, Vy ❤

It’s been about an hour since I got off the phone with Y/N and my concern is through the roof. She called me from the parking lot of the office building where she works at, telling me she’s be home in less than half an hour and asking if I needed her to pick up anything along the way. I have been trying to brush away the worries, comforting myself with the fact that I did request a specific type of iced tea and knowing Y/N, she’s probably looking for it in multiple stores because she couldn’t find it in the convenience store that’s along her way back home. I should’ve told her not to sweat it considering I don’t need it right away or anything. I have tried distracting myself with editing just to hinder myself from picking up my phone and debating weather to call her or not. I may be worried but I don’t wanna put her life in danger by calling her while she’s driving.

I keep my hands on my keyboard and mouse, my phone halfway across the room just in case. Another thirty minutes pass by with no sound of the door being unlocked or even a car pulling up. My fingers are beginning to drum over the buttons on my keyboard anxiously. I have had to go back and redo so many things with the video I’m editing because my mind simply isn’t present. It’s wandering around the city, looking for that one familiar car that’s always outside our house, parked in the driveway. That’s currently being driven by my girlfriend of two years Y/N.

My phone’s ringtone snaps me out of the downwards spiral of my thoughts, simultaneously picking up the speed of my heartbeat. I basically launch myself out of my chair and towards the bed where the ringing is coming from. I feel a wave of relief rush over me when I see Y/N’s name on the lit screen.

“Hey babe, where have you been?“ I ask as soon as I answer the call. It feels like my whole body shuts down when I finally pick up on the sound of blaring sirens in the background.

“Sir, I’m sorry to inform you Miss Y/L/N has been in an accident.” The words the female voice on the phone says cut through me like a knife, sending chills of paralyzing fear all over my body, “You were the last person she contacted before the accident which is why we’ve stepped in contact with you. However, if you are not able to come collect Miss Y/L/N, please contact a family member of hers.“

The calmness of her tone is freaking me out of my skin and mind, “Is she ok?! Where is she?!“

“She’s alright, sir. She’s not completely conscious yet, though. But she will be by the time you arrive. Her injuries are not in any way life-threatening. She has a few cuts and bruises and a concussion. A medical team has already taken care of her.“

Before I know it, I’m already out the door, the location the policewoman gave me in my head as I get behind the wheel of my car which I rarely use. Thankfully, the road the accident happened on is less than fifteen minutes away. Due to the late hour there is close to no traffic on the roads so I make it to the scene in no time. Y/N’s car is surrounded by two cop cars and two ambulances. I barely even notice the black Honda Civic that is almost equally as beat up as Y/N’s Toyota. Speaking of the Toyota, its front bumper is completely obliterated - the headlights, blinkers and windshield in pieces and shards on the pavement.

In the first ambulance there’s a guy passed out on a gurney with an ivy rip connected to his arm. In the one next to it is Y/N, sitting hunched over with her head hanging low, her hair falling over her face.

“Y/N?“ I rush over to her, reaching out to touch her shoulder but withdrawing my arm in case she has a bruise in that spot.

She lifts her head, a look of relief and happiness flashing across her face. She lets out a sigh, a small smile appearing on her lips as her eyes fill with tears. “Corpse...” her hand reaches out for mine which is still hanging in the air. I give her my other hand and she uses me as support to slowly stand up. She lets go of my hands and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug as a quiet sob leaves her chest. “I was so scared when I woke up. I couldn’t remember anything.”

“It’s ok, you’re ok now. I’m here, I’m right here.“ I gently smooth her hair while carefully holding her in my embrace. She has a few purple bruises along her arms and cuts on her cheek and neck which are covered in white bandages with small dark red stains. The most major thing I can see is the cut on her left temple which is also covered up. I press a tender kiss to the right one. “Are you in any pain?“ I pull away to get a better look at her.

Thankfully she shakes her head, “No, I’m ok. My elbow hurts a little but that’s it.”

I nod, moving a strand of hair behind her ear, kissing her forehead. Just as I’m about to ask her what exactly happened one one of the police officers approaches us.

“A drunk driver. He ran the red light and crashed straight into her car.“ The officer says, judging by her voice it’s the same woman that called me. “You don’t remember that, do you?“

Y/N turns to her, “I just remember hearing a loud crash and then darkness. I didn’t know what had happened until you told me when I woke up.”

The policewoman gives us a sincere smile, lightly touching Y/N’s shoulder “It’s ok, sweetheart. You are alright, that’s what matters. And you have someone here by your side.”

Y/N’s eyes meet mine when she gives me the most loving glance, the one that I often catch in her eyes - the one that always melts me. “He always is.” she says, running her fingers down my arm, interlocking hers with mine when they reach my hand.

The policewoman tells us good night and walks over to the other ambulance. We stick around to see the cars get taken away and Y/N gives her info so they can contact her when the car is repaired. I know how much she loves that car - it’s the first and only car she has ever owned. She has had it for about seven years and calls it her child basically. I never thought I’d be jealous of a car in my life - just kidding. But my point has been made - she’s never been apart from it or driven another car.

Wrapping my arm around her while she watches her car being taken away, I turn her around, leading her towards my car. “Let’s get you home. You’ll be 100% under my care and no complaints will be accepted.”

She rolls her eyes playfully, snuggling up into my side, “Don’t make a big deal about this please. And, for the love of God, don’t baby me too much, ok?”

I grin down at her, “What was that, I didn’t quite catch it?“

“Corpseeee...“ She pouts, a frown on her face, making her look so childish it’s absolutely adorable.

“Save the whining, it ain’t gonna work.“ I open the door to the passenger seat, stepping aside so she can get in the my car.

Surprisingly enough, she actually doesn’t complain the rest of the way home nor when we arrive. Nor when I instruct her to stay in bed and not move unless it’s absolutely necessary. I basically bring all the snacks from the kitchen into our room while she compiles a list of movies we will be watching because no sleep will be had tonight. “I love you.“ Y/N says through a sigh halfway through the second movie.

“I love you too. But don’t fall asleep.“ I tickle her side, causing her to giggle and squirm in an attempt to get away from me.

“Ok, ok, but you’re gonna have to help me. If I blink, I’ll be a goner.“ She yawns, shuffling back towards me. When she flashes me that hinting wide smile, I know exactly what she’s insinuating.

I sigh, giving in with ease. “When you were here before...“

“Couldn’t look you in the eye...“ she backs me up just as I knew she would

“You’re just like an angel...“

“Your skin makes me cry...“

Needless to say, we end up duetting random songs - rap songs, heavy metal, pop songs, some of my songs, some Christmas songs, Disney songs - making it one of the best movie marathons we’ve ever had, the unfortunate events of the day far behind us and completely gone from our minds.

@maat-the-prescriptive @simonsbluee @save-the-sky @itsminniekat @hacker-ghost @bi-andready-tocry @imtiredaffff @jazzkaurtheglorious @hereforbeebo @fandomgirl17 @chrysanthykios @maehemscorpyus @loraleiix @letsloveimagines @annshit @i-cant-choose-a-username-help @enigmaticmaze @divine-artemis @waterlilypat @idontknowwhatthisisfam @evi-ka @classyandfabulous00 @redperson58 @lilysdaydreams @the-fuck-up-of-today @chiefwombathoagiepizza @solowheein @mythicalamphitrite @axen-gers @luckygirl144 @nj01 @buddyemily @the-albino-lioness @stardream14 @gdhdkfnn @nomadicgypsyy @preciousskye @fluffysuicideunicornsworld @symphony-butterfly @manacharlotte @awkward-youtube-trash @baby-iyania @bonky-beerns @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian @strawbrinkofdeath @pinkhairedsapphic @teenloves @tams0527 @browneyespinkhair @starstruckllamapuppy @daisychains012 @y0ulooked @tinytacosuitcaseflap @maybe-im-dead-idk @supernatural-is-my-only-life @jula-pauline @melodykitty @just-that-bi-girl @crazybutconfidentaf @lowellshade @chaoticgayandnerdy @alphakees @bellero @weallneednamjesus @strawberrycheesecakekenzistuff @starryhanji @boiled-onionrings @husherstan @fockingwhore @melaningoddessthings @prettypastelpetals @haleypearce @godwhyamiawkward @y-napotat @daisychainyoonmin @little-miss-rebel3 @free-wheelin-bi-sexual @redmoon261 @amysingh2512 @wiseflamingoqueen @into-the-end @faepetersen @namikhai-i @nastiablr

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stargazer-balladeer · 3 years

Note

Hiya! Could I please request an angsty doc for Diluc from Genshin Impact? Maybe the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? The reader develops hanahaki (the flower illness? I dunno if I spelled it right) disease and gets progressively closer to dying until Diluc finds them collapsed, surrounded by blood and flower petals, and he panics and holds the reader, confessing his love for them somewhere in his panic which cures them of the illness? Thank you!!

Daffodils [Genshin Impact]

[ Diluc Ragnvindr x Gender Neutral! Reader ]

{Hanahaki Disease}

Notes: making this an angst instead of fluffy is quite tempting- I hope I did justice to your request 😔✊im sorry if you don’t like this ;w; Hope you’ll still enjoy it tho! (If you want a redo, please request again-)

(I tried using the flowers in the game but.. their useless 😐. Cecilia looks like Lilies flowers but their meaning is basically soulmates- i decided to use daffodils in this one-)

Warning: Mentions of blood and negative things.

Word Count: 1297

Diluc narrows his eyes at the running figure that he calls his friend. Why were they running away from him? Did he smell bad? Diluc’s brows furrowed as he shakes his head. That’s not it. They’ve been acting weird for quite a while now. At first, Diluc shrugged it off. But as days go by, weeks, Diluc started to notice their strange behavior.

Recently, they look sick. Their skin lost color and their face always seem pale. Thick bags appeared beneath their eyes. And they always cough. For some reason, [Y/N] also seem to be avoiding him, and only him. They are still talking to everyone in Mondstadt, all except him. Did he do something wrong? Then what is it?

Diluc wanted to confront them about it. His patience is wearing thin. He sighed as he tries to think of a new plan to do to capture- no, convince them to talk. Tomorrow, I’ll get the answer I want..

——

How did you get in this position again? [Y/N] sweatdropped as their eyes were on the ground. Ah yes. Diluc fucking ambushed me— “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m getting my answers now.” Diluc said harshly, but there’s concern underlying it. [Y/N] knew that he’s just worried about them but they don’t want him to know. Especially their feelings towards their pyro-user friend.

Don’t make him guilty— Don’t say anything— It’s better this way—

“I.. don’t know what you’re talking about.” [Y/N] mumbled numbly. Diluc clicked his tongue as his hold in their hands tightened. [Y/N] winced a bit, but they knew that Diluc wouldn’t hurt them. It’s just the way he is. Even though he puts up a stoic, cold front, his a baby in the inside.

That’s what made [Y/N] fall in love with him..

But, they knew that their love will never be requited—

[Y/N]’s eyes widened when they felt something familiar rising in their throat. No! They screamed in their mind. Not now!

Diluc noticed their panic and raised a brow. “What’s wrong?” [Y/N] kept their mouth shut, afraid that they’ll start coughing if they spoke. The concern in his eyed became apparent now as he slowly lets go of their hands. “Talk to me, [Y/N].. we’re friends, aren’t we?”

[Y/N]’s eyes prickle when they heard the friend word. That’s all they will be. Friends. Their hands cup their mouth. The vile inside their mouth is rising even more, scratching their throat, wanting to be let out.

Diluc’s hand move to touch their cheek but [Y/N] move. Hurt. That was on Diluc’s face. Unable to look at him anymore, their legs started sprinting. They could hear Diluc calling for them.

They ran as fast as they could until they arrived at a forest in Springvale. They couldn’t breathe, literally couldn’t breathe. They cough, trying to get whatever in their throat out. It was painful. They wanted it to stop.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the thing stuck on their throat finally came out. [Y/N] retracted their hand, only for their eyes to widen in fright. There in their palm was full of blood, along with the blood-stained petals of the flower Daffodils.

How ironic. [Y/N] knew exactly what they mean as tears started falling in their eyes.

Diluc is the only one for them..

——

Diluc has been feeling uneasy ever since this morning. He doesn’t know why but something tells him that he should check up on [Y/N]. Its been a week since he last saw them. Ever since then, they just.. disappeared. Diluc only grew worried about them when his mind would wander to that day.

He could clearly remember the pain in their eyes, clearly seeking for help to him. However he didn’t do anything as he watch them ran from him. But now, more determined than ever, he will get the answers from them.

Diluc stood in front of their door in their house just outside of Mondstadt. His hand rise to knock, but he hesitated. What if they don’t want to see him? What would he do? Diluc shakes his head. Now’s not the time to think of that.

He slowly knock on the wooden door. No answer. He knocks again, this time calling out. “It’s me. Open the door.” No answer again. His brows furrowed as he tried to listen if there was someone inside the house. But only silence greeted him. He pursued his lips, now concern than ever. He tried opening the door but it was locked.

He cursed as he tried to find any alternative way to get inside. His eyes landed on a nearby tree that lead to their bedroom window. His mind was contemplating on whether or not he should do it. But in the end, his worrisome self got the best of him.

Diluc climb up the tree slowly and carefully. Once he reached their window, he tried peeking in but the sunlight was not making it easy for him. “Stupid sun..” Diluc mumbled as he got closer to the window.

What Diluc saw froze him, not literally mind you. His eyes widened at the sight of [Y/N] laying on the ground with pool of blood surrounding them and daffodils. His mind is still racing when he screamed their name while jumping to the window, effectively breaking it.

Glass shards scratch his face, but he didn’t pay any mind. He quickly went to [Y/N]’s side. Tears pooling in his eyes as flashbacks of his father’s death flash before him. “No no no! [Y/N]! Wake up!”

Thankfully, [Y/N] opened their eyes, but Diluc can tell their struggling to keep their eyes open. He gave them a weak smile as he cradles their body in his, not minding that the blood and daffodils stick on his clothes. “D-Diluc..? What’re you..?” [Y/N] weakly mumbled as a series of cough interrupted them.

Diluc rubbed their back as he eyed the daffodils. Where has he seen this before? Why does it seem familiar? Then it finally click in his mind. Hanahaki Disease. This made Diluc’s heart stopped momentarily when realization hits him hard. You love someone you can’t have?

“Who is it?” Diluc asked while looking at the walls. “It’s.. no use.. you.. don’t need to know.” [Y/N] weakly responded. Diluc grits his teeth as his hold on [Y/N]’s shoulders tightened. “Tell me so that I know who I’ll kill.” [Y/N] lets out a strained laughter.

Knowing that [Y/N] wouldn’t speak, Diluc sighed as he pulled their body to his in a hug. “You know.. this’ll turn out differently if you would let me love you instead of that bastard.” [Y/N]’s eyes widened at his sudden confession. His arms tightened around them. “Maybe.. I would have given you the best life instead of suffering like this.”

Tears were trekking down Diluc’s cheeks. The mere thought of losing them from someone they love is unbearable to him. He doesn’t want to believe. He loves you too much. “I love you.. you idiot..”

[Y/N] lets out a laugh before starting to laugh. Their tears no longer filled with grief. Their heart was beating fast in their chest as they hug him tighter. They could feel themselves healing. The thorns in their throat now disappeared.

Diluc was confused on why they were laughing. Did he say something funny? But when they pull back from the embrace. His eyes widened, they look more healthy than they ever been. Their smile was bright as they press their forehead with his. “I love you too, Diluc.”

Ah.. so he was the reason why you have hanahaki disease? He doesn’t know whether to be grateful, sad, angry or— basically, he’s a mess. Even though his mind is a mess, it doesn’t stop him from pulling you into a kiss.

Finally.

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page

#not one of my finest work ;w;#im sorry-#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact diluc x reader #diluc #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc ragnvindr x reader #req ans❣️

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selfcareparker · 3 years

Note

yesss the letter format 💝💓💘💖💞💕💖💞💓 (lovely anon)

my dearest aria (a hamilton reference lmao),

i’m home alone (bc i wanted the house alone to get my head together after my brothers were mean to me 🙃) and i’m so hype LMAO but i’m watching chloe x halle’s tiny desk concert and honestly just vibing. (this is so random) besides zendaya like they are my badass black women role models. my one accomplishment would be to learn to body roll like them LMAO

oh nevermind i can’t have anything nice, my dad just came home 🙃 WHAT A WAY TO START OFF THIS ASK WTFFF

i’m liking tfatws, the second episode was veryyy intense imo but WANDAVISION IS SO GOOD😭 i knew it was going to be my favorite from the really old trailer but it’s really good and i promise it’s not just sitcoms, girl especially cuz you’ll have all the episodes already out- we were having to wait every week😭 BUT ITS SO GOOD I PROMISE HDJSHDJSH lmao reading this i was like “i- the episodes aren’t an hour long” but i feel that, it’s hard for me to watch tfatws bc they are an hour long and i’m like 😐 but wandavision episodes are less than 30mins bc I KID YOU NOT they have the damn 10 MINUTE CREDITS DHDJSJ no i don’t think we’ve talked about this b4 lol but it all depends on the series for me. i binged love island uk in less than a week bc i was so invested and LITERALLY LOVE IT but uh those episodes are like an hour and a half, but say i was binging tfatws (it’s so hard to type that ohmigosh) i honestly would not be able to do it bc of the intensity (you may be like what intensity but if you’ve seen episode 2 by the time you’re reading this.......... isaiah and the scene afterwards is all i have to say, esp me being black it was so tough :/)

girl you’re fine, as long as you’ve experienced it once hahaha i think the reason why it’s so important to my family (this letter feels so personal and extreme HSJSJA IM SORRY) is bc my grandmother loved it and in my family i guess it’s just important to us lol like my mom and dad love it too and we have the literal VHS tapes LMAO, but it only came up recently cuz my youngest brother was watching lion guard HAHA and he wanted to see the originals :) and fun fact (unless you already know) but there’s a lion king part 2 and 1 1/2 and i have all three ON VHS HAHAHA but i love lion king 1 duh (the og) but part two’s music and love story..... is so good. anyway. 🦁

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE THEATER ENCOUNTER THING HAHAHA AND WHEN SHE WAS SAYING AWKWARD I WAS LIKE WTF THE NOISE LMAOOOO i don’t think there’s a better way to describe that whole situation than ZKDHDJSHAJAJSHDJSNAHA. yeah. yeaaaa at the cinemas (i like the word cinema more than movies 🥰) here they have chips (fries), some have ice cream, nachos, drinks, hot dogs, the cinema we were at had pretzels and like BURGERS I WAS LIKE HUH OKAY and ya know obviously popcorn but i don’t know why the theaters (or cinemas) here do that, it started a long time ago though like yearsssss

PLEASE i have the longest movie watchlist and uhh haven’t seen any of them JDJSKA (istg i use HSJSSKSH as a period - like . ) i’m still hype for cherry but very hesitant (idk if i can handle it) but i’m thinking about watching it in the next couple of weeks? i know it’ll take me forever bc i’m gonna have to keep pausing and shit but idk. i’ve asked around for very specific trigger warnings and time stamps so i REALLY know what’s coming (even if it spoiled the film a bit for me) but i do really wanna see it (i think? writing this now i’m not so sure lol) so whooooooo really knows lol, but chaos walking YES i was really excited about it :))) and about my friend uhh dude you don’t sound mean at all i was literally thinking the same thing but worse HAAKL idk what she was there for???? she bought my ticket tho so 💁🏾‍♀️ whatever

“SIMS ahh, BUNK BEDS ahh” had me cracking up lmao and you know my sims status JAJAHHAJ but i’m gonna become like you, saving every 5 minutes 😭 but that’s exactly what happened to me, i really didn’t know whether to shut it off or not but after 2 hours i was heartbroken lol i’m literally making a list of things i need to redo that wasn’t saved lmao

CAN I JUST SAY UR A MASTERMIND THOUGH??? UR SIMS GAME SOUNDS SO *chefs kiss* IM CRINE university is PAINFULLY long and LITERALLY I FEEEL THAT like you can’t do anything else without failing, i had my sim go to a party once for like a few hours and i felt so dumb afterwards like urgh he should’ve been studying LMAOO just cracking down on work honestly. UR NEIGHBOR!AU IN THE SIMS PLEASEEE i am very much in love with it, yes. (pouring rain has just suddenly begun where i am rn wow ok) i love that you put them on the same lot, that was really really smart and i love that ur living out your sexuality in the sims😭 i was abt to say “now you can say you’ve got experience bc of the sims” but ANYWAY IGNORE ME fhdhs THE ALIEN BABY DHSJSK i hope it’s not a dealbreaker for enisa. that’d be tragic. IM BACK IN UPPERCASE THO BC YES MAKING OUT IN THE SIMS IS SO HOT TO ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE STFU OH MY GOSH- all the stuff, whispering sweet nothings, and the making out, and JUST ALL OF IT!!! AM I TOUCH STARVED????? there was this time i made my sim just continue to woohoo bc it was turning me on big time. ANYWAY

half way through that i had to go to my grandmothers house (not the one that likes lion king, but uh hmm idk if you remember but i was talking abt my shit family so yeah that grandmother lol) so now i’m finishing this 🥴 and instead of chloe x halle i’m watching a tom interview lmao & if this takes me longer than 30 minutes.... imma cry

I REALLY WANNA ASK- IS IT BC UR GERMAN LIKE YOU CAN JUST WRITE OUT THAT LONG ASS WORD???? i mean i can’t write out supercalafrag- anyway, but that word is a bit nonsense, UR WORD IS A REAL WORD DUDE HDJSHS i love how ur like “maybe i mixed up these words” YEA OK.

lol i had to google what are waveformers lol (lol makes a comeback) and they look like curlers that you would sleep in (here we would call them curlers or uhm i forgot uhhhhhhh rollers i think) but ur fine when am i ever making sense?? i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌

H20 H20 H20 OH MY GOODNESS SHE BROUGHT UP H20 OK MY LIFE WAS H20🥲 I HAVE THEIR LOCKET NECKLACE AND (short storytime) when i was younger i thought they were american despite their accents (idk i was dumb) but then i figured they weren’t when lewis went to go study in america HAHAH ALSO FAVORITE COUPLE CLEO AND LEWIS UGH WATCH ME REWATCH THE SHOW NOW THANKS (also i hated elizabeth so much) but anyway back on topic, when lewis went to go study in the US i looked up where the show took place and all that good stuff and i found out they were australian HAHAH and that started my obsession with accents LMAO the uk :’)) (i’m proofreading AND AUSTRALIA IS NOT A PART OF THE UK LMAOO IM SOO DHSJSSHS) also it is now one of my many goals (besides the body roll HAHAH) to go to mako island (that’s what it’s called right??)

about music, i googled stormzy and i might listen to a song of his.. LOL I WANNA GIVE IT A TRY IMMA DO IT FOR YOU NFDVSFSG lmaoo the german rapper had me cackling (autocorrect once again being helpful and said raper and i’m like nOO) i mean we all have that one person. can’t lie, won’t lie. my one (IM SORRY BUT AUTOCORRECT HAD “MY ONE TRUE ACCOMPLISHMENT” SITTING AND READY HDJSJA I DONT EVEN TYPE THAT wHAT) person out of my white soft boy with brown hair and brown eyes type would beeeee pete davidson. love me some petey. i was gonna say rex orange county as well lmao but i don’t really loveeee him i’m just in love with his music... and wanna be friends with him..... so 👉🏾👈🏾 (i never do that fdshsh)

oh my goodness, i love tattoos too- GASP what are you thinking of getting 🥺 i want tattoos too but i’m too indecisive to figure out what to have & where. especially in my family... idk they aren’t frowned upon but my mom’s not applauding the thought lol, if i got one it would have to be meaningful but i am absolutely in love with (for example) ariana grande’s finger tattoos !! they’re so cute and simple :’) i don’t even know if i can get tattoos? my skin is... interesting. not in a bad way!! just like.... idk how to explain it??? keyloids run in the family & i got a piercing once and it got infected soo :/ the doctor also confirmed that if i wanted tattoos they couldn’t be in color so LMAO

ONCE AGAIN THIS WHOLE THING FEELS SO TMI DHSHSSJ IM LIKE OHMIGOSH SHUT UP SHE DOESNT CARE JESJSKS

in regards to you not sleeping, i wanted to mention that dumb bird, what was the reason it was up so early aT 4AM???? SIR WHO YOU CALLING TO??? also it’s 11:30pm and idk why i’m tired???

yeah i was never SUPER into justin so i don’t know exactly what albums you’re talking about lol, i do know yummy though.. but everyone did hahaha also i listen to so much pop 🙈 i mean maybe... idk what would count as pop and what wouldn’t. that new person feeling though.. i get that. it’s like who is this new person..? i kinda feel like that with taylor swift (i was never THAT into her either though so it’s like oh wait i didn’t know you from the beginning instead of hello old friend but you’re different lol)

about the concerts, thanks 🥰🥰 that’s so sweet what you did for your mom too, it’s nice seeing them so happy like 🥲 awh AND GLEE IS AND WAS MY LIFE FOR A V V LONG TIME, i’ve been meaning to rewatch it for the longest time lmaooo but i’m just so lazy and it’s such a commitment... i’ll have to get emotionally involved again and idk if i want that rn. but i have a friend on instagram and she runs a glee fan account and it’s such a big part of her life i really don’t think i could ever be THAT obsessed with something. like another one of my friends loves tom holland so much that she changed her mom’s name in her phone to what tom’s mom’s name is in his phone (that was confusing lol) and obviously i’m not judging them AT ALL, it just couldn’t be me lol

CONCERTS LOOK LIKE SO MUCH FUN 😩😩 LIKE THE EXPERIENCE AND THE FEELINGGG URGHSJS i wanna see a few people live like ari and chloe x halle and- hmm.... idk who else FJDSJ rex orange county i guess huh anyway, the experience just sounds so amazing and the atmosphere is just ✨✨✨ yeah

aria do it do it do it do it do it- watch hamilton!! but with subtitles bc you won’t catch half of the things they’re saying without them LMAO (me and my family watched it and they all didn’t like it bc they didn’t know what was happening lol) BUT DONT WATCH IT AT 4AM LMAO ITS LITERALLY 3 HOURS LONG

yes!! superior peter fics 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and it just shows how much of an incredible writer AND PERSON you are through your fics that you can turn a blurb into 2k....... like what.

LMAO the annoying thing, sometimes i feel like i’m bothering people (like right now HAHAH) but i think it’s my antisocial side being like yeaa no one wants to talk to you like you wanna talk to them :’) idk it’s strange!! sometimes i get really ✨insecure✨ and overthink everything LOL like is this too long, im talking too much, i’m swearing too much, oh lord i’m a pain, all that good shit lmao so that’s fun:))

ALSO YOUR BLOG IS SO FUN TO ME HAHAK LIKE ITS JUST YOUR OWN AND I LOVE THAT!!! like you talk about everything and anything on here lol,, and i say that bc what you said lmao how if i was someone else i would want to fuck me so bad😭 i honestly don’t understand how i don’t have people lining up though..... but if no one’s gonna tell you... then you tell yourself, period (and sometimes telling yourself is fucking yourself HSHAJKS OK NEXT)

ohmigosh the realization you had that you graduated last year and are going to uni this year🤧 but the fact that you had a teacher who LEFT THE GROUP CHAT bc she was mad at y’all i- 😭 but yeah about your maths (i always wondered why you guys call it maths and the US calls it math. like i know so many people out of the states, not just in the uk that say maths) teacher- i saw this post that said online school is looking a lot like dora the explorer😭😭 “you have any questions?” 🦗 “okay bye then” lmao and please i love when tests have nothing to do with what you studied like ??? thanks? sometimes i get scared that my teacher will somehow find out that i googled everything? or like my answer is too close to the answer sheet or something. i get sooo nervous lol but i’m already past that point of not being able to do anything myself DHJS i mean i’m still learning like i said!! read the question, read the answer. boom. now i know the answer to the question and i learned!

THANKS 🙈🥰🤧 idk how else to explain my feelings LMAO i feel it’s cool that you find my dance lessons and voice lessons cool so thanks :’)

oh god not headache season 😭😭 allergies are the worst like it’s not even funny. is headache season just when the seasons are changing or is it like... all throughout the summer? cuz i love the summer lmaoo i love the winter too but i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO

GIRL IF THAT BIRD DONT STOP CHIRPING- i am 100% convinced that it is the same bird trying to give you headaches and no sleep and it needs to stfu 😤 and pLEASE ur theme is adorable and pretty and cute but also it just feels like you? idk if i’m explaining this right or if it’s bc i’ve been talking to you for a bit but it’s cute but not innocent in a way that i’m surprised that you write smut and- yeah, that didn’t make sense!! but ur new theme is gonna look pretty too and as long as you like it, it’ll be amazing🥰

yessssss the fact that megan is gonna be ur pfp YES JUST YES

edit: ok i just need to 🥺😭 sometimes u make me wanna cry cuz i feel like you’re just a kind person. i truly mean this, the fact that you celebrate yours & others stretch marks makes me so 🥺🥺🥺 i honestly don’t know anyone who has said they want need more stretch marks and it’s just all very lovely to me :’)) OKAY IMMA STOP BEING SAPPY

#yes my fake tags are back #by popular demand #aka me #and look i have actual tags this time! #i’m seriously craving water ice rn....... huh #but it’s past midnight and i fr fr want a snack #aw man #i wrote that last paragraph while doing my tags yes #and i hope you become responsible for that anon’s orgasm #assuming they had one #and i saw your response to the tom thing and yeaa when they only look like that for something and it’s like aw bae be yourself #i’m gonna shut up now and find a snack but goodnight!! morning?? IDK #IF THESE TAGS END UP AS ACTUAL TAGS I AM SO SORRY HAHAHA #alright proofreading done and i’m gonna go eat cereal

okay i‘m on my way to a driving lesson rn and afterwards i have a zoom uni thing, and then another uni thing lmao. but hopefully i can reply to this in between because i‘ve been dying to talk to you since i got this ask dldjds💘💘💘 (i really like this heart. i had a 💖 phase for a while and now it‘s 💘 (seems like a very romantic heart but.... it is what it is idk dkddj)

^okay that was literally all i wrote before my lesson lmfao. just had the worst driving lesson ever dbdvsnylkxsksj i think i‘ve gotten too used to being good at driving and now i‘ve gotten too cocky with it 🥴 anyway i‘ve had such a stressful day and overall week but tbh i‘m already feeling better bc i can (indirectly) talk to you <333

omg i went to chloe or halle (i don‘t remember who out of the two)‘s instagram the other day and found out that they are not twins alejeleksjsksj but yes oh my god their voices are literally angelic and i can‘t wait to see Halle as Ariel (Arielle??)🥰 and omg it‘s literally 2021 and we‘ve only had......... one(?) black Disney Princess like it‘s about fucking time (I might be forgetting someone, I‘m not too familiar with the new Disney films, but as far as I remember there‘s only Tiana right? (who is literally a frog for 3/4 of the film 😭😭) so yes i‘m here for it too😌😌😌 (obviously she‘s not a cartoon like tiana ekdlek but she‘s a disney princess you know what i mean ddkjdh)

pfkejdj i‘m already overwhelmed with my parents i can‘t imagine having siblings too 😭😭 (sometimes i wish i had siblings but then other times (like after reading what you wrote dksjj) i‘m glad that i‘m an only child lmao like your brothers being mean to you and i remember when you cried and he was just like 👁👄👁 ok. like i’m totally okay being an only child sksjsj———and he doesn‘t listen to music 🤧🤧🤧 (although i guess that‘s good for you because at least he can‘t annoy you by listening to loud music that you hate dmdn)

okay okay i might watch wandavision then??? I‘ll definitely let you know!!! and yes omg i‘m loving tfatws (that really is so fucking hard to type omg) but same i totally get what you mean, i‘m not used to watching action series at all and every episode so far has been like a little movie so i‘m glad that i didn‘t wait until it was all out cause there’s no way i could binge watch that lol) and yes last episode was really intense. i‘m glad that marvel are talking about racism because (from what i‘ve seen) they haven‘t been the best in that department, and i‘m really curious to see what they‘ll do in the next episodes (curious isn‘t the right word but excited isn‘t the right wort either, like i‘m excited but in a neutral way ? i‘ll shut up dslsksj i hate that german has so many words that you cant translate because theres a really good german word that describes how i’m feeling but i cant think of a good translation ugh)

okay i absolutely need to watch lion king (and part 2 and 1/ 1/2 dksksj) AND hamilton, i might even do it soon 👀

BURGERS AT THE CINEMA? EBEEISNDBEKSK i‘ll come to the US just to go and watch a movie lmaooo, i think all the popcorn sizes and drinks are bigger as well, i‘ll come and watch chaos walking with you 😌😌 does next week work?

and yeah i‘ve seen posts with specific time stamps and trigger warning for cherry too so if you haven’t looked on tumblr yet i’ve def seen some! (but ive also seen some on twitter and yeah- i mean idk youve probably looked on tumblr but yeah- then there’s also imdb which doesn’t have time stamps i believe but quite specific warnings, mostly without spoilers!)

Tbh i don‘t think i would have even considered watching cherry if tom wasn‘t in it... (i’m personally fine with most of the triggering topics/things like for some reason i’m just stoic when i’m watching the most tragic films ever dldldldlbut the plot just... idk if it‘s for me you know? just entertainment wise?).... and even with tom in it i‘m unsure skeldls, i‘d totally get if you decide not to watch it but let me know if you do i‘d want to hear your thoughts! <3

SKSLSJJ my sims both finally graduated!! i think i played sometime last week, and i literally got the achievement/notification that i‘d been playing with this household for 24hours.... and that was BEFORE they graduated dldjdldkdksjjs

oh no my tumblr broke and three paragraphs of me talking about sims were deleted 😭😭😭

WAIT NO I TOOK SCREENSHOTSSKSK because i couldn’t press save so i knew they might be gone okay okay okay i‘m a genius

*move out

oh no idk if the quality is too bad to read... idk how good your eyes are dkdkdjjd (also sometimes it will be really bad quality for some but not for others so i hope that the you can see the pics in a normal/good quality)

Okay let me continue

OMG THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL STUFF IS THE BEST PART ABOUT THE SIMS DIDLDKJIkdkj i kind of miss how in the sims 3 they would be making out basically lying on top of each other if they were on a bed— but in sims 4 when they‘re sitting next to each other and everything that‘s definitely hot too 😌😭 or with hot tubs dkdkdk how one sim climbs on the other sim‘s lap before they woohoo (i used to make them skinny dip in the hot tub and then make out and woohoo so they’re like naked on top of each other even if you can‘t see anything- en e waysss)

Dkdkdkdj so @ Rindfleischet.. blah bla. so it‘s basically just loads of individual words put together/connected and that‘s a really big part of german. so yesterday i had an online Einführungsveranstaltung for uni (like it was a zoom meeting where they just talked about general stuff about the uni and i was really anxious before, idk why, but it turned out absolutely fine so) and that words consists of the two words Einführung (introduction) and Veranstaltung (event) which are also two individual words but you can make a new word (Einführungsveranstaltung, so in english that‘s basically “introduction event“ lmao) by combining those two words. there are obviously some rules like you can‘t just combine random words in a random order but you can basically make infinite words (technically). for example (i feel like i‘m teaching a class just skip this if you don’t care 🙃🙃🙃djdjdkdlns)

for example i could say Einführungsveranstaltungsteilnehmer (which is not underlined with red by tumblr because it is a grammatically correct compound word (i think that‘s what they‘re called?)) which is the words introduction + event + participant, so that word just means “participant of an introductory event“ but instead it‘s one word? i hope that makes sense? dkdkkdksks i mean it makes sense in german but idk if it makes sense to you cause idk if i‘m explaining it very well lmao,

(I just deleted a really really long paragraph that i wrote about gender in the german language and grammar, you‘re welcome slsksksj)

my capacity to think has now been used up for the week 🥴🥴🥴 i absolutely do not blame you if you just skipped over that part or can‘t be bothered to (re)read my awful explanation edkflsksjdjdj (again, i had double the amount of words but i just deleted it dkdkdlslsl but what‘s left lf my german lesson is probably confusing enough already😭i‘m sorry🥴)

so to answer your question LEJDKSKJ: it‘s really common to have long words in german, words that are just word+ word+ word + word made into one long word. obv rindfleischetikettierung..... is a very extreme example and it‘s normally just 2-4 words made into one! So yup i think that comes mostly from german and talking german and growing up here and going to school here and everything dmdfnsksx

i think the best part about these is the chaos yet we understand what the other means 😌— YES. YES. Yes. I love that about us 😌😌🥰🥰/ I love us. Yes.

okay but your friend changing her mom‘s name into tom‘s mum‘s name (was that right? Dkdkdjh)—— so Justin Bieber once posted something where you could see that his Dad‘s number was saved as „Daddy Cakes“ (which, thinking back, sounds very weird ekejjej) and till this day I have my Dad’s contact name as Tata (which is serbian for Dad lmao), “Tata🍰“ in my phone because of it 😭😭😭😭🙃🙃🙃 it‘s not because of justin anymore like i‘ve just gotten used to it by now but at first i did it because of justin lol........ but nowadays i don‘t think i‘m THAT type of fan of anyone- like you know how people have fandom names (Justin‘s fans are the Beliebers, One Direction fans are Directioners (writing that hurt my soul💔💔💔)) and I wouldn‘t consider myself a fan of anyone like that. like even with tom i wouldn‘t call myself........ does tom even have a name for his fans??? Well if he does, I wouldn‘t call myself that. Like i used to be such a hardcore stan for any celebrity that i liked and now it‘s just... okay, i like em. (She says on her blog where she writes fan fiction about Tom Holland — WJDJEJDKELSKSKKSNSNDXB🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃)

Omg rex orange county!!!!!! I don‘t know that many songs like I‘ve only listened to the album pony, but i love it 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

thanks again for what you said about my fics/writing I‘m🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Pete Davidson Pete Davidson Pete Davidson I‘m-🥰🥰🥰🥰 and I can‘t explain why. But as blissfulparker said the other day (i don‘t want to tag her and make her read through all of this lolll) “I like my men when they look like they are on the brink of death 😍“ (or something along the lines of that) eskkejs okay pete isn‘t that bad, he looks quite good on some days but other days you‘re like... is this man alive? Like i don‘t want to be mean I love Pete so much The King of Staten Island is literally my favourite film ever (although it‘s not my #1 because of how he looks, but i mean he does look good) VUT ALSO

(Okay i was gonna look for a terrible picture of him but he really doesn‘t look as bad as people say??? like. i think he‘s hot. can‘t necessarily explain why. so that‘s that on that.)

i‘m not going chronologically right now (i just keep scrolling up to your ask and replying to whatever i see first sksksksh) so i might miss a thing or two that you said

Okay Stormzy, you really really don‘t have to dkdkdjd like i think you said you don‘t really listen to rap, and uk rap is a whole nother thing from us rap because of the accent i feel like??? (That sentence did not make sense) BUT if you‘re looking for a few songs that aren‘t like RAP rap, then I‘d recommend One Second (feat HER), Superheroes, Own it (which you might know?), ummm maybe the song Lessons?, he has a ton of Lion King references by the way dkdjdj for example in Rachael‘s Little Brother but that‘s like more RAP again if you know what I mean?😭 and it‘s also like 5 Minutes long and tbh i only started liking that song a year after that album came out lmao but Rachael‘s Little Brother is possibly my fav Stormzy song, then there is Shut Up which you absolutely need to listen to just for fun dldjdjd like it‘s just pure fun and also a little funny lmao, especially if you‘re not British (i imagine so at least) cause he‘s like shuTTTT up idk dldkdjdldkjdhdhfjfbfldlsksksks

Vossi Bop is one of his classics, and then maybeee - ok so there‘s Blinded By Your Grace Pt. 2 lmaoobdjsj it‘s very (Christian/) religious but i like it a lot even though i‘m not really Christian (at least not practicing or anything) so idk about your views on religion but i do like the song a lot just by like the sound lmao

Okay so again you absolutely DO NOT have to listen to any, especially not for me dlskdj but I really do recommend the songs Superheroes, One Second and Rachael‘s Little Brother (and all the other ones i mentioned but if you don‘t listen to a lot of his songs you should at least give these three a try <3333) also let me know some of your songs? 🥺 like i dont care who they‘re by but i‘d love to listen to some that you like and Recommend 🥰🥰🥰

Okay so skdjdjdjddhhddhdhjsk... I used to watch all of my series in German (like H2O) bc obviously they were on german tv so they were german- and i knew that most of these actors i saw on tv were american and i was always SO fascinated that they all learned german for this show??? Like I actually thought they were the people‘s real voices and that these English and American actors were learning german so they could re-record the whole ass show and do everything in german dkdkdldjdjjd... i swear I thought that until I was like 14 omg. And then the first time that I watched H2O in the original version i was sooo confused about their accents because to me all actors who spoke english were American?? I mean MOST of those shows are American so I wasn‘t completely off but yeah i was definitely caught off guard when I heard all of their Australian accents for the first time 💀💀😭😭😭

@ math vs maths, math actually makes more sense in my opinion. like you have the word mathematics, then the abbreviation would obviously be math... why would English people randomly add the s from the end??? Or maybe it makes more sense after all because it‘s like plural??? Now I‘m unsure dkdkdkdj but i do say maths because that‘s how i was taught to say it and i hear the word maths more than math but yeah dldkdjs i think math might even make more sense (okay i just tried saying math and maths is easier to pronounce but again tjat might just be me, oh god i‘ll stop talking about that disgusting thing (mathematics).)

not the crickets and dora LMAOOOSNSNSMDNBS yeah that teacher was... a lot. a lot a lot a lot didjjd but she kinda liked me so she always gave me good grades/marks but the people she didn‘t like..... ooft. OOF.

Fksksjsj idek about headache season like i just know that i get headaches from the sun and i‘m allergic to only one.. type of...pollen??? (I don’t understand the science of that whole pollen thing and idek if it’s called pollen in english i just know sex pollen from fan fics😔)and yeah we have this weird wind that makes a lot of people get headaches yeahd dkdkdj. i loved the i just love wearing as little clothes as possible LMAO lllioool i love that i really do. i always struggle so much in the summer cause i never have anything to wear. i feel like i buy so many new summer clothes every year but when i end up looking for an outfit i don‘t ever find anything 😭 (so i just go naked— lmao jk jk) but i‘m generally not the biggest fan of summer so-

OMG THIS FUCKING BIRD ISTG, okay the first time i heard it i went to sleep at like 5 am, so the next day i was like let me go to bed earlier so the bird doesn‘t keep me up, so i went to bed at 4 am (🥲) and THE BIRD JUST STARTED FUCKING CHIRPING SO LOUDLY, so the next day i went to bed at 3 am AND IT FUCKING STARTED AT 3 AM and it‘s still there 😁 every. night.

and since you said you‘ve gotten used to my theme and everything (idk where this transition came from😭) so tomorrow (2nd april) we have our... wait what‘s an anniversary but for a month.? I think month is like mensus in latin OK NO THATS DEF WRONG DKDKDJ wait

So Tomorrow is our... mensiversary💘💘💘💘💘💘 or at least from the first time you sent an ask. i couldn‘t find it on my tumblr anymore because tumblr is a bit of a bitch but i remember the first thing you ever sent (in an ask) was something lovely about my writing and i always take screenshots of stuff like that, and i found it in my gallery. and i took that screenshot of your ask on the 2nd of march so i‘m assuming that‘s when you sent it 🥰🥰 i feel like i‘ve known you for a week not a month like how is it a month already????? (i mean this in a good way lmao but i really can’t believe that its been a month wtf)

omg no you make me want to cry because i just love you so much 😭😭🥺 but about the stretch mark thing it‘s just.. it‘s not even me trying to empower other women (or anyone else who has stretch marks) to shake off these dumb insecurities that the patriarchy and capitalism have instilled in us— ok no it‘s definitely that too lmao. But i mean I‘ve always loved stretch marks, i‘ve just always loved loved loved them so much so it makes me genuinely sad that people don‘t like them. so yeah. i dont really know how to explain it lol, like i‘m not (only) hoping that people realise that hating your stretch marks is giving the men and the patriarchy what they want per se- (that made no sense) it‘s just because i love stretch marks and think they‘re beautiful and also sexy. idk dldkdjls and omg the fact that you called me kind 🥺🥺🥺 like i don‘t really have a goal in life or anything, but if i had to choose a ‘goal‘ in life it would just be to be kind. (i‘ll end this here otherwise i‘m gonna talk about being kind for 30 more lines—)

And please. Do not ever feel like you‘re annoying me or sending too much. never ever ever. I get so happy when i see that you‘ve sent me an ask. No matter if it‘s a long one like this or just a short one where you‘re saying something about a post that i reblogged or something. I love hearing from/about you and talking to you 💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘

P.S: i‘m so sorry for the tags you‘re about to read they make even less sense than this post, also i reached the tag limit dkdkdj but i said some butterfly tattoos look tacky... and the next thing i said was since we‘re already speaking about Ariana- I DID NOT MEAN THAT SHE WAS TACKY dldkdjsj, i meant since you already mentioned some of her tattoos lmao

#lovely anon #<3 #ALSO I LOVE YOUR TAGS SM DKDJDKDL #i definitely (accidentally) didn‘t say something about every single thing you said #but this is so long already and i don‘t want to force you to read even more of my shite dldkdjsj #(i dont day shite i say shit but sometimes shite sound funnier)#*say #omg its too mate to speak english what i meant was i‘m sire i forgot to adress some of the things you said but i tried my best iwjwskb #omg adress (address? lmao) sounds so negative i mean i‘m sure i forgot to reply to some things- also *late not mate loool #omg ignore my whole german lesson i cant believe i actually wrote all of that wtf #but it took me like 20 minutes so i don‘t want to delete it 😭#and omg i hope you got to re do everything that your sims game didnt save and that it all worked out the same #😭#I NEARLY DELETED THIS ASK WITJ MY ANSWER OH MYFUCKING GOD MY FUCKING HEART #also i realised i didnt say anything at all about uni but i dont have any news like that Einführungsveranstaltung (😭) I went to was literall #just about schedules and credits and boring stuff mostly lmao #oh and tattoos!!!! it sucks that you might not be able to get the ones that you want/get any :((((( but hopefully you can at least get some #that arent in colour? 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼#so my parents aren‘t that supportive either like they most definitely wouldnt pay for it (even though they pay for a lot of my stuff lmao)#but i think in the end they know that i‘m old enough and they can‘t stop me and they‘d accept it one day so they‘re definitely not THAT bad #maybe your parents will change their mind over time? :(#or maybe youll just get one one day and ig theyll have to get used to it lol #so i want a butterfly (thats the only thing that i‘m sure about) and there are a lot of butterfly tattoos that look really tacky #but speaking of her i actually really like ariana‘s butterfly! but idk if i want that much shading- i have a whole album with like 35 photos #of just butterfly tattoos lol- i‘ll stop here tho. ldkdkd #omg im rereading this all and it‘s so messy good luck dkdkkddl #my tags got messed up and idk how to fix it #wait did i reach the tag limit and you cant even see half of these? 😭😭😭#i‘m so confused about these tags why are they not in the correct order? 😭😭😭 ily snd i‘m so sorry for dropping this post on you none of it #none of it makes sense.

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varian-the-unstable-alchemist · 3 years

Text

Arrival Redo

OKAY SO

VARIANS INITAL ARRIVAL WAS STUPID

THAT DIDNT HAPPEN

THIS HAPPENED INSTEAD

ANY QUESTIONS?NO?GOOD-

HERE

Im not tagging anyone okay-

just-

here

Yes I took inspiration from several fanfictions that I liked

please don't hate me

***

Varian looked down at the ground as he walked. Papers gathered in his arms, lost in thought. Rapunzel had tasked him with making the Dungeon more hospitable for prisoners, after he told her how terrible it was down there.

Being the Royal Engineer, he didn’t have the right to refuse, but he hated working on the project. He only needed to be down there for reference point, he wasn’t the one who would be carrying out the designs (thank god), but every second he was down there was like a weight pressing down on his chest. He constantly felt like he was stuck, like he wouldn’t be able to leave, and this place would be the last he would see. Not to mention the prisoners themselves. One in particular had been making the task nearly unbearable. He tried to ignore him, but the man knew exactly how to get under his skin...

He hadn’t told Rapunzel about his discomfort. It wasn’t up to him to decide which jobs he did and didn’t take on. And she’d been busy lately anyway, even though it’d been months since Zhan Tiri’s attack, they were still rebuilding. The pressure had only increased when her parents announced that they would be retiring soon, and Rapunzel would become queen.

Varian let out a breath, it’s okay, he could do this. He’d survived prison, attempted murder, all kinds of crazy magic, kidnapping, and a demon attack. He could survive this project. Besides, it wa-

Voices cut into his thoughts. Varian paused, looking to his left at a door that was slightly ajar. He weighed his options for a moment, before curiosity got the better of him. He moved to stand next to the door, leaning in to hear what the people inside were saying.

“-ust don’t know what to do, Nigel!” Varian recognized that voice as Rapunzel’s. She sounded frustrated.

“Your majesty, you already know my opinion on the matter.” Nigel’s nasally voice sounded from inside.

“I am not firing him! He’s the best person for the job and you know it! I-I just... he seems so stressed lately, and I don’t know how to help...”

“well, I’m not quite sure how to help with that, but, there is the matter of the letters.”

“We’ve already talked about the letters.”

“Princess, with all due respect, we can’t just ignore them.”

“Yes, we can! Just because a few citizens are upset that, doesn’t mean I’m going to change something that doesn’t need changing! And I want you to make sure that Varian doesn’t hear a single word about them!”

“Your highness, I-“

Varian had heard enough. He stepped into the room. “That I don’t hear a single word about what?”

Rapunzel looked up at her, eyes wide. She was unable to find words.

“The matters of the Princess are none of your concern.” Nigel said with undisguised dislike for the teen in front of him.

“They are if they involve me.” Varian said, crossing his arms.

“Varian I...” Rapunzel started “I-I can’t tell you, but trust me when I say that you’re better off not knowing.”

“Great, so now you’re keeping things from me. Rapunzel, what is this about? What are the letters?”

“I...” she looked away, biting her lip. “...Varian, please...”

“You’re still not going to tell me?! They’re about me, aren’t they?”

Rapunzel looked away, and Varian felt his face heat in anger. He clenched his fists. “Fine! Fine, you’re not going to tell me, that’s fine.”

He turned, moving to storm towards the door.

“Varian-“ Rapunzel tried

“I’ll be in my lab.” He snapped, before slamming the door behind him.

***

Varian sat at a table at his workbench, leaned back and staring at the ceiling, letting the anger wash over him. Yes, he was being unreasonable, but he was sick and tired of being treated like a child, having things be kept from him simply because whomever was in question felt like he couldn’t handle it. Having one of the only people in the world he genuinely trusted do it...

The raccoon curled up on his chest chittered next to him, pressing his furry head into Varian’s cheek in an attempt to comfort him. The fuming boy took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself, raising a gloved hand to scratch the ring-tailed bandit behind the ears. Ruddiger made a sound akin to purring in reply.

His lab was nice, to his tastes at least. It was messy, but it helped add to the personality. It’d been gifted to him along with the position of Royal Engineer.

Varian looked up at the sound of the door opening. He’d been expecting Rapunzel, and was surprised when he was met with Nigel instead. Ruddiger moved to curl around Varian’s shoulder’s protectively, narrowing his eyes at the man. The man looked around the cluttered room, distain and disgust easily visible on his face. There was a stack of paper clutched in his hand.

“What do you want?” Varian asked less than politely. He really wasn’t in the mood to bother with protocol.

Nigel moved his eyes to the teen in the chair with distaste. “You wanted to know what was in the letters, so here they are.”

He tossed the stack of papers the the ground next to Varian’s chair. Varian looked from the papers to him, puzzled.

“Wha-“

“If I’m being honest, I agree with every word they say. And, frankly I think a mutt you should follow their advice.” He turned, moving back towards the door. He paused at the doorway, looking back with his eyes narrowed and lips pulled back in a sneer. “By the way, you aren’t fooling anyone with your little drag show, young lady.”

He closed the door before Varian could spit a scathing comment. Ruddiger hissed at the closed door, tail swishing. Varian closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. This wasn’t the first time someone had purposely misgendered him. It shouldn’t effect him this much.

After a moment, he mulled over the first insult he’d used... “mutt” It left a foul taste in his mouth... dehumanizing. He guess it came from the fact that his parents had both been refugees, he wasn’t even Coronian... or, at least not in most people’s eyes. But he’d been born and raised here. To say that he was belonging to any other kingdom would feel wrong. It didn’t matter anyway. He took a deep breath and stood, walking over to the pile of paper.

Ruddiger’s ears flattened against his head, letting out an anxious trill. He pawed at Varian’s face, but Varian ignored him, looking down at the paper at the top of the stack.

“Princess Rapunzel,

As a Citizen, I have stood by all your decisions as Princess and temporary queen except for one. Your decision to pardon two of the kingdom’s most dangerous criminals is something I cannot possibly fathom. At least Cassandra has left the kingdom, but to keep the traitor Varian on staff? It’s honestly horrifying to me and several others. A dangerous criminal like him should be locked in prison or dead, kept away from yourself and your people, not gifted with a position so high in rank. I sincerely hope you take my words into account.

Wishing for the best,

A troubled citizen.”

Varian knew he should stop. He knew that nothing good could come from reading more, but he pressed on, flipping the page and reading the next.

“Varian,”

That was odd. It was addressed to him, why hadn’t he received it? Was the Princess Reading his mail?

“I don’t know what you’ve done to the royal family. Whether you’ve bewitched them or used some kind of mind game, I want you to know that you don’t have everyone fooled. If I were you, I’d turn yourself in or jump off Corona bridge before people discover your true intentions. Lord knows you deserve it after what you’ve done. We’re watching you.“

Varian pressed on. Some were signed, some weren’t (although very few had names attached), some addressed to himself, some to the Princess, a handful were even addressed to the king or queen. Some (he ones that Varian assumed were from old Corona), addressed him by his old name and called him a witch. But, despite the differing methods of explaining it, they all had the same idea; Varian was a dangerous criminal and shouldn’t be working at the castle.

When he’d finally finished reading, he sat there, numb. He closed his eyes, swallowing. He understood now why the Princess hadn’t wanted to show him. Despite acknowledging the Princess’s reasoning behind her actions, he didn’t regret reading them. Now he knew how people perceived him, now he knew that he had to be more careful.

Shakily, the ravenette stood, raising Ruddiger from where he’d been curled around Varian’s shoulders and placing him on his work chair. The small mammal trilled in worry for his human, tail swishing behind him. Varian gave his friend a small smile. (it was fake, of course, but Varian had become very skilled at making them look convincing as of late)

“It’s okay, buddy, I’m alright. I just need a minute alone... I’m going to take a walk...”

The raccoon reluctantly curled into a ball, still looking up at his human with concern as he turned, grabbed the backpack he kept with himself at all times when going out, and walked towards the door

The castle was relatively quiet, most people who usually resides here were out enjoying the beautiful day. Light filtered through the stained glass windows built into the wall. Varian had never re-adjusted to the light level of the capital. It was nicknamed the kingdom of the sun for a reason, but after the crushing darkness of the dungeon beneath his feet, he didn’t think he’d ever be able to take the brightness for granted again.

As he stepped out into the courtyard, several guards waved at him. He nervously waved back, anxiety bubbling in his chest at the sight of the uniform they wore. Eugene had given it a name... what was it? Fear of authority? That sounded right... strangely enough, Eugene was the only person in uniform that he wasn’t scared of.

He made his way through the capital, people around him going about their business. Their reactions to him were diverse, some smiled and waved, some sent glares his way, some ignored him completely. Varian kept his eyes fixed on the ground, trying to make himself small.

Eventually, he made it outside the main city. He walked across the bridge, keeping one hand on the railing. He paused in the center, eyes lingering on where he’d stood only a few months ago, looking down at the water as his form shook, trying to force himself to move forward.

He shook himself out of the memory, he was in a better place now. Sure, he still had the occasional depressive episode or panic attack, but he had been doing great considering all that had happened to him.

He stepped off the bridge, pausing a moment to decide whether he should keep going along the path or walk through the forest. He decided that the latter would be more interesting and started walking slightly to the left.

Because of Varian’s tendency to spend hours or even days locked in his room and his fascination with technology, one could guess that he wasn’t a nature person. But, in reality, the opposite was true. Varian was quite fond of the outdoors and of nature itself. He’d always been better with animals than he was with people, and a walk through the forest had always been his second favorite way to calm himself down (the first being alchemy, but even the idea itself was tiring to him at the moment). He sighed, closing his eyes and letting the sounds and feelings of the forest wash over him.

He wasn’t upset. The people who wrote the letters were justified on their feelings. He’d attacked the kingdom, tried to kill its leaders, been sent to prison, escaped with a Saporian terrorist, and taken over the kingdom. Then, in what must have seemed like the blink of an eye to them, Rapunzel had returned, completely pardoned him for everything he’d done, and been rewarded with a position of high honor. No wonder they were suspicious of him.

No, he wasn’t upset that multiple of them had told him to kill himself, or that he should be back in the prison he now hated with every fiber of his being.

He definitely wasn’t.

As for Rapunzel, he wasn’t angry at her. He knew her. She could be scarily protective when she needed to be, and she saw it as her duty to keep Varian safe. Emotionally and physically. He had no right to be angry that she’d read his mail, kept something as big as this from him, and still hadn’t fired that good-for-nothing advisor.

Since his recovery, he’d learned to keep all negative emotions under lock and key. Especially anger, now that he knew how quickly it could spiral out of control. So he knew that that definitely wasn’t what he was feeling as he walked deeper and deeper into the thickening trees.

It was precisely thirteen seconds after the teen decided that he was under no circumstances angry at Corona, its people, or its Princess, that he found himself falling.

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shijas · 3 years

Note

hi chel! i hope this is ok to ask but if it isnt, you dont have to answer. lately, ive been struggling with my writing. i do still enjoy writing, but i find myself doubting myself more often. i sometimes wonder if what im writing is realistic to how the characters would act, or if my writing is embarrassing. i started posting my works on ao 3 more recently and... while my writing gets a somewhat decent? amount of attention, ill see other works with a lot of engagement and wonder if im doing

heyy nonny! ofc this was okay to ask!! firstly, i totally feel you. it’s completely natural to have moments when you’re unsure and dissatisfied with your writing. if you still enjoy the process of writing, then that’s great! i want to make it clear that your feelings may linger but they will pass!!

i talked about this in an ask on my writing blog once but my three biggest writing tips are: “a first draft is a first draft”, “if you’re writing is indulging you then it’s met your target audience” and “as long as your characterisation is consistent to how you feel about the character everything is fine”.

i think, especially, when you’re writing fanfiction that these are things that you keep in mind! when characterising characters, i can’t personally tell you whether how you feel and thus write about them is ‘correct’ or not! no one can, because the lens of which you read and write them is dependent on your whole life worth of experiences!! and this is fine!! you don’t have to write characters exactly as they are in canon, and in all honestly no one truly expects you too. people read fanfiction because they want other interpretations of a story/characters that they love!! as long your characterisation is consistent to you, rather than realistic to someone else’s standards i think you’ll be okay!

now, posting on ao3 is always a double edged sword, and once again, i totally get where you’re coming from. i think everyone who posts semi frequently has a work that they love, which gets barely any attention, and other works that maybe are more of a joke or a quick thing that do surprisingly well. sadly, you can’t force readers or engagement, you can only put your stuff out and hope. if your numbers seem small and the engagement does seem low in comparison to other people, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong and as hard as that is to internalise or believe, please trust me on this!! i’ve read many a fic with barely any interaction and they’ve been brilliant, likewise i’ve read a lot of fic with a whole bunch of engagement that i personally didn’t enjoy.

a quick initial solution that helped me when seeing numbers really started to bog me down was using the site skin that removed all statistics from every work, my own included. this meant that i could still read fics, but i wouldn’t see anyones numbers, and it also meant when i went on my own page i was forced to look at my works for what they’re about rather than how “well or not” they did by numbers.

another thing that really helped me was advice from a tiktok i can’t currently find which basically said: “30, 60, 100 views might not seem like a lot on the internet, but imagine if that many people walked into your room and saw what you’ve created. they chose to come and see what you’ve created. 15, 40, 60 likes may not feel like a lot but imagine if that many people who had walked into your room to see what you’ve created and told you they liked your work. it would be pretty overwhelming.” i think there’s a really important message in that tiktok. every view, every kudo, comment and bookmark — even if it’s few — is an individual who chose to take a look at your work! they wanted to read it! some of them felt brave enough to kudo and tell you they enjoyed it! some of them were even braver and left a comment saying what they enjoyed! sure, it can feel underwhelming in comparison, but people are engaging, people do care and like your work!

the only person your writing has to be ‘good enough’ for is yourself! and if you enjoyed writing it then external numbers are just a bonus, no matter how big or small!! dissatisfaction is natural and expected from time to time, like i said earlier it will pass. sometimes it’s even a good thing, because if you finish something but feel dissatisfied, that might motivate you to write another draft, or redo a section or take a section out or add a section in! as long as this process is because you want to and it’ll make you happier with your work that’s good. if it’s draining it might be a hint that you should take a break from that project and try something else that you enjoy. you can always comeback. and on that note your ao3 and the fics you post there are not set in stone. if one day you decide you want to revamp a fic, do it! that’s allowed! it’s not a printed published fic! just hit that edit button and change at your hearts content. no one will mind! if anything those few people who might love you fic may be super happy that when they reread it, there’s something new or things have changed a bit!!

i’m really lucky that i have a friend that is not only is doing an english degree but writes fanfic herself, and other friends who frequently read fics and hc stuff over shared fandoms, so there’s always someone there to read my stuff — if you’ve got irl friends that are in your fandom spaces that you trust, i say subject yourself to the mortifying ordeal of being known and talk to them about it!! writing fics in isolation can be pretty hard!! online, i think if you’ve got the nerves to handle it (i do not OTL), twitter is a great place to interact with other writers!! my tips are maybe follow some of your fave writers and try and strike up a conversation?? be wary of the numbers again on twitter!!! similarly, if you do have a tumblr, talk to some of your favourite writers on here, and follow some writing/ao3 based blogs to see whose in the community! apparently there’s even discords for writers these days, so if you’re up to it that’s a great shout. if we’re in overlapping fandoms i love hearing people’s hcs so you can always throw them at me here or on my writing blog!!

i’m sorry that my reply got so long!! i hope that in some way it helps you even a little!! i’m sure you’re writing is pretty amazing and that it’s only going to get better the more you read and write!! have a great day nonny, and good luck, you can push through this!! 💗

#this gucci!!#writers woes on main

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og-danny-dorito · 4 years

Text

Bucky Barnes SFW Headcanons

a new hyperfixation to avoid my growing anxiety with my personal life? yall already know whats up, and i'm feeling angsty so brace yourself

PUBLISHED : 2 - 17 - 20

S F W :

- to start off of a positive and happy note (jk you already know thats not how it works) its very likely that upon first meeting, any touch directed towards him is met with an alarmed grunt and/or a slap of your hand away

- anything unsolicited makes him nervous and uncomfortable, so if you really do want to pat his shoulder or hug him or something like that you'd have to ask if it's okay first. now it's pretty easy to see the reasoning behind this but for those doubting it i will explain

- big man has been trained to kill in hand to hand combat and advanced weaponry and countless other things, meaning that he's pretty much wired by this point to have a gut reaction that automatically goes to the fight or flight instinct. it doesn't make logical sense that he wouldn't get uncomfortable and jumpy at loud noises and unsolicited touching since his ptsd has accumulated over the years to MAKE him react like that. he doesn't want to accidentally punch you in the teeth

- like yeah he's all tough and shit and could break the a dude’s neck if he really tried, but the issue is that once his walls are broken down he's sort of akin to that of a regulated killing machine having to redo its wiring to be “normal” again. the transition itself would be traumatic, but the process of initiating it would be even more difficult

- so that means that in the first few months of his recovery, he probably would do a lot of absent-minded staring and just long spells of silence where he just doesn't do anything. it's sort of like a reloading point for his brain, and he starts to pick up the habit of daydreaming a lot. sometimes you'll have to say his name a few times to snap him out of it, but when he does come to he looks a little embarrassed

- it's not that easy to elicit an emotional reaction out of him. you'd have to be fairly close with him to actually get most responses out of him that are more than a word long, and so thus starts my favorite trope; hard depressed kill man falls for person who just Keeps Trying

- it's not that easy to get under his skin, but meeting him somewhere normally and constantly talking to him will probably start to make him feel more encouraged to speak in the sense of making normal conversation

- he's a little awkward so in this case patience goes a long way (as does with pretty much everything with him). it gets to the point where after a month or so he may feel weird if he doesn't talk to you at that specific time of the day. if he's grown that fond of you he'll even go out of his way to ask a few people where you are

- part of him hates getting this attached for a number of reasons. there's that nagging feeling in the back of his mind that his environment is temporary and getting attached to the things and people there will hurt him more than he'd like. while he knows that it's not temporary, that he's not leaving anytime soon and probably won't for a while, it all goes back to the killing machine thing

- when he was under hydra’s control, the only thing that was certain was the base he resided in and it's hard to come out of a state of mind where the only thing you know to be continuous is your continued existence as a tool. the place itself brings back horrible memories, but you get what i mean

- so initially he may resist conversation for that very reason

- he tends to pick up on details more than anything, and most of your smaller traits tend to make him quickly used to you. like for instance, if you're prone to pursuing your lips and narrowing your eyes at something odd you've heard or seen, he might find it cute mentally and then immediately correct himself for it. if you tend to snort a little and roll your eyes when you laugh, he's going to notice that and MAYBE try to pay more attention when something funny is said to hear it again

- i would generally think that he doesn't really have much a type or preference at all. in fact, i'm pretty sure the only thing he seemed consciously aware of that he likes in a partner is ability to understand. cause if you can't forgive him for the things he's done and see why he does what he does now, he can't bring himself to feel like he needs to go through all of his self hatred and doubt more intensely than he already is

- he probably is asexual as well but that's sort of iffy considering he's canon been in sexual relationships so that's a maybe. but he's definitely demiromantic. it's not that easy for him to find people attractive anymore. when he starts to get to know you better he starts feeling some sort of way and picking up on MORE details that you may not even notice yourself

- bucky is also incredibly skilled at remembering things you might've said a month ago and completely forgot about. some find this off putting and that's understandable, but when it comes down to it, its a product of sorta okay memory

- “My cousin almost flipped his car over this week.”

- “Phillipe?”

- “Uh, yeah. How did you...?”

- “You mentioned him two weeks ago... when he almost fell of your roof the week before.”

- “I did?”

- remembers dates, names, eye colors, and a multitude of other things, so sometimes he'll just mention something important you may have forgotten and pretend like he definitely wasn't paying too much attention to you. it's surprising how good his memory is even though he can't remember any of his past. so this most likely means that he has issues with remembering events and how they happened, but not the details of them. like how you can remember your shirt color a few week s back but not what you did while wearing that shirt

- and on that note, he kinda shuts down if he gets a weird flashback in the middle of something. they're mostly triggered by smells and sounds, but sometimes if he sees something while he's walking down the street he'll just stop and stare at it. it's best just to stop and stare at it with him, or alternatively if you don't want stares, act like you're taking a picture. but don't talk to him while it's happening cause it'll interrupt the train of thought and derail him completely

- he tends to talk a lot about things if he's grown very invested in them (he's very good at keeping focus). if you're out walking together or just sitting down he might stare and absentmindedly reach out to touch you before stopping himself at the last minute. gently grabbing his hand and placing it wherever he wanted to touch makes him flustered every time. that and hes super soft but is afraid to be vulnerable around anyone

- just gently grabbing his hand makes him all mushy, and it’s more often than not that he finds himself weak when someone shows pretty much any form of affection or endearment towards him

- probably not into pda though, not that much. he will hold your hand if you want to, but don’t expect to like sit in his lap or like straight upstart kissing in public cause any attention in a public setting makes him nervous

- really likes a kind of homey s/o. someone who likes to cook or bake or whatever makes him feel a little bit like he doesn't have to worry about something for a while. like if he comes home and dinner is just waiting on the table for him or you’ve already drawn a bath for him and/or made the bed or whatever, he literally appreciates that above pretty much anything else

- love language is most likely acts of service. hes not very good with words unless he like thinks it out beforehand, but pretty much buys you gifts all the time because he likes seeing you light up when you see them. he does try to spend as much time as he can with you but either anxiety gets the best of him or hes literally too busy, and so it ends up being more distant with him coming over a few times during the week, even if you live together. and we already know the deal with physical touch so im not gonna restate my strong belief in “big man has trauma no touch big man unless A S K”

- but a lot of the things he does are situational. one day he may be very down to be super affectionate and the other he’ll be painfully distant, but the main issue with all of it is that hes very very bad at communication

- this poses an issue for a number of reasons, but his responses and reactions are more physical than anything. so for instance, if hes uncomfortable with something he’ll start to shift and stare and be very tense the whole time it’s occurring, or if he’s feeling a bit more sad or depressed he’ll isolate himself and consistently stand slouched or look as if he hasn't gotten enough sleep. it’s mostly body language, but after a while he’ll feel safe enough to tell you how he feels about certain things

- this takes a while to actually happen, but when it does he manages to just,,, say things that are on his mind. like you’ll be reading or scrolling through your phone or whatever and he’ll randomly be like “The table has a lot of scratches on it.” it’s just observations he has, but usually it translates to him wanting to change the stated fact. best thing to do is just to roll with it, since hes practically learning how to communicate again and he’s picking up on things socially

- now let's get to the “a little fluffy” and “kinda-already-known” shit, shall we?

- miscellaneous headcanons;

gets jealous pretty easily in the early stages of your relationship, but only ever indicates this by staring the person in question down and refusing to admit to it later

likes having his hair put up into cool hairstyles and likes colored rubber bands (or hair ties if youre not where i'm from). seriously, he may loose his shit if you just like put cool braids in his hair one day like hes a viking or whatever

kind of tone deaf but his singing is more of like this raspy and slightly more “Misty Mountains” vocals sounding

is touch sensitive, so even doing something as small as like rubbing your thumb on his arm makes his hair raise on end

doesn't like his metal arm at all and quite obviously wears long sleeves all the time to hide it, but occasionally wears short sleeves when he's feeling less insecure

oh, super insecure btw and THATS why he feels all mushy when someone is kind to him because he KNOWS he's a freak and that he's weird but you're not still being sweet??? too pure, must protect

gives great hugs since he practically smothers anyone he meets with them, but is also basically a walking heater

is terrified of the idea of taking care of children or just anything weaker than him, but is good with them since they always hang on his arms and hold his legs when he walks

super strong

likes sweets a whole lot, specifically fruity sweets like apple pie or peach cobbler. never bring those wallmart cakes or whatever near him cause it'll be gone in like an hour flat unless you tell him to leave you some

- in conclusion, he needs therapy and probably won't be very responsive when he's not sure what to do. it doesn't mean he loves you any less, but he may have a hard time communicating it to you. all he really needs is some patience and a bit of understanding, and he'll get better with the whole s/o thing soon enough. cause you mean the world to him, and he doesn't want anyone or anything to make you feel like less than that

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wuvbug-kny · 4 years

Text

too late — kamado tanjirou

↬ tw!! suicidal thoughts

↬ tanjirou x fem!reader x inosuke

↬ genre: angst

“i-i really do like you..um, it wasnt easy to confess b-but..yeah..”

my body shook. my head ached. my anxiety was over the roof. what was i thinking, why would i confess to him?! oh god. im going insane. what was i thinking..

i felt tears in my eyes start to form as my body got hotter by the second. my fists were clenches togethee tightly, nails digging into my palms as my heart raced at an unsteady pace. i gulped. why wasnt he saying anything? why is he just standing there? oh no.. my eyes remained stuck onto the ground as the knot in my throat got tighter. the tears that had formed in my eyes began to fall to the ground, and out of embarassment i lowered my head even more hoping he wouldnt notice.

tanjirou, please dont break me more than i already am broken.

“(y/n)..”

“y-yes?”

“im sorry.

i cant reciprocate your feelings.”

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

i felt numb. i felt like complete, utter trash.

i felt worthless. i feel worthless.

of course it turned out that way.

why did i get my hopes up? why was i so dumb? to think someone like him would love such a lonely, miserable girl like me.

my heart ached. ever since i felt like the hole in my chest had gotten the biggest its ever been. it hurt, the pain was incredibly painful, i felt like i seeped even more into darkness than the darkness i was emorsed in before.

god, why am i so miserable? what is this life you’ve given me? what is my purpose?

sometimes, no, at all times i just want to disappear.

the knock on my door startled me, causing me to jump up from my laying position on my bed, in result of getting up too fast i had landed on my floor painfully. i grunted in pain as more tears began to spilled out from my eyes.

im miserable..

quickly sitting up, i wiped the tears from my tomato reddened face before sucking everything up as best as i could.

“y-yes?” i replied to the knocking coming from my door.

the knocking got even louder.

confused, i called out again. “y-yes??”

i jumped, shrieking slightly as the door was kicked open. am i under attack? but this is the butterfly estate! scrambling to my bed like the coward i was, i quickly pulled out my blade, pointing it towards the now beaten down door.

“w-who is it??” i shivered.

“(y/n), you bird brain! training has started and everyone is still waiting on you!!”

in came inosuke, wearing his boar mask as usual.

i lowered my blade and sighed shakily, before putting it away. “i-inosuke..you scared me. you could of just answered to me instead of kicking my door open..” i said, getting up from the bed.

“whatever! you should be at training! you’re holding everyone up, you stupid hag!” he huffed, crossing his arms.

i forcefully made myself laugh, even though i was in now way amused by his words.

hes right.

im a burden to everybody.

i shouldnt be here.

i should just die.

im so worthless.

everyone would be better off without me.

without realizing, i felt the warmness of my tears flowing down my face. i felt my heart ache so badly, my body shaking.

unable to hold my stance, i fall to the floor. sobbing.

because im so pathetic.

taking my bruised up hands, i quickly try to wipe the tears away but they just keep coming, and coming. i cant stop. i cant stop. my bubble has bursted, i have no more energy, i have no energy to keep it all in anymore, i cant control myself.

as i was too busy drowning in my negative, self killing thoughts, i was interrupted when my hands were pulled away from my face.

a little taken aback, but still having tears flowing down my face, i looked up.

inosuke..

“what are you, a baby? stop it.” he grumbled as he wiped my tears away with his thumb. his thumb glided across my cheek, flicking my tears away as gently as ever. for a moment i felt my heart warm. this is the first time ive ever been carressed so gently. i loved the feeling, but at the same time surprised as to who i was recieving it from.

“dont cry anymore. i dont like it.” his hands gently carressed my face now as his emerald eyes looked into mine. i felt my heart skip a beat, the empty deep feeling in my chest being forgotten at the very moment. i couldnt look away from his eyes.

for the first time ever, i felt like. i was okay.

i teared up again, but before i could let the tears spill i engulfed inosuke in a hug. an endearing, loving, grateful hug. i sobbed as i buried my face into his chest.

“t-thank you. thank you so much.”

i felt his arms wrap around my shaking figure gently, as he at the same time patted my head.

i was honestly surprised as to what was going on right now. out of all people, inosuke.

you’ve made me so happy. you’ve made me feel safe, okay, and wanted.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

two months had passed ever since tanjirou had turned me down.

honestly, i had nothing against tanjirou. i never expected him to like me, heck, love me back even. i never expected him to reciprocate my feelings. but at the same time, i felt like i still had a chance. i dont know what was going through my mind at the time.

i still loved tanjirou. maybe not as much as before, but i knew i still had the slightesy feelings for him. i try my best to talk to him as if nothing had ever happened. i really just want to move on from it.

as much as i hate myself for it, seeing him and talking to him makes me feel worthless. i hate myself for feeling that way. if i could go back in time and redo everything, i most certainly would.

what hurt me even more was to see how close he had gotten himself with kanao. it was no surprise to me, honestly. kanao is a very pretty girl, and she’s just way better than me in general in regards to demon slaying and skill wise.

no wonder tanjirou would take interest in her.

i was happy for him, i really was. i held no resent towards kanao at all. afterall, it would be petty and childish.

kanao was a dear friend to me and if they really did have chemistry between one another, i do really wish them the best.

i just cant help but pity myself.

“(y/n)!”

i squeaked in surprise as i was suddenly lifted off the ground by a pair of arms around my waste and twirled around. it took me a moment to realize that it was nobody but inosuke, before having a giggling fit.

“i-inosuke! put me down!” i laughed as he started to make plane noises. i felt myself blush as his eyes locked itself with mine, before averting my gaze to block him from noticing my face had turned into a tomato red.

ever since i broke down in front of inosuke and had him comfort me, we’ve gotten a lot closer. not much has changed between us personality wise, but he associated with me way more and always seemed ready whenever id ask him a favor, etc. he also now liked to pick me up and pretend to toss me, or making plane noises as he twirled me around.

he’s honestly like my best friend now. i can actually talk to him about how i feel deep down inside. he listens but doesnt really give much input on it, but i dont mind. its inosuke afterall, what can i expect? all im grateful for is that he listens.

inosuke grinned before setting me back down on the floor. he patted my hat before literally collapsing onto the grass covered ground, yawning and using his arms to rest his head on.

“im tired, (y/n). take a nap with me.” he grunted, patting the spot next to him. i smiled before laying down too, as i looked up at the sky.

“hey, inosu-“ i cut myself off after i had looked at him and noticed he was already out like a light. i giggled a bit. hes such a baby, honestly.

i stared at his face a bit more and noticed how pretty and feminine his features were. his eyelashes were curled and at a beautiful length, his lips slightly parted making him look angelic. his fair skin with no scars made him look like an angel.

jeez, god really do be picking favorites.

i sighed before laying back down on the grass, closing my eyes as i rested my head on inosuke’s chest. i felt myself sleeping into sleep and just let it happen.

this was one of the many times i felt at peace, always with inosuke.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

“im telling you, inosuke and (y/n) have a thing going on! have you seen how they are with each other?!” falling onto the floor, zenitsu started to sob. “why, out of all people, him?! a pretty girl like (y/n) deserves better! eUUugGNnN!!”

“what are you guys talking about?” tanjirou asked as he walked into the room, a smile worn on his face as he laughed at zenitsu obviously being overdramatic about whatever it was.

aoi and the other three girls sighed as they continued on eating their lunch.

“zenitsu thinks (y/n) and inosuke are dating and hes freaking out about it because he knows he’ll never get someone as pretty as (y/n).” aoi said, laughing at the last part.

tanjirou froze, before laughing nervously. “aaah, dont say that, im sure zenitsu will find someone one day!”

aoi shrugged, followed on by more giggles coming from sumi and the two others.

“are (y/n) and inosuke really dating?” tanjirou asked, sitting down.

“dont even mention it! agh!” zenitsu cried from his laying position on the ground, before burying his face in his arms again.

aoi rolled her eyes before moving onto answering tanjirou. “well..no, actually yeah, no, we dont know. i mean it looks like it. they’ve gotten a lot of closer and inosuke is always up on (y/n) now. i mean, they’d make a really cute couple! i see the way (y/n) lights up when shes around him.”

“a-ah. i see.” tanjirou said, letting out a slight laugh. “well, im gonna head out to train now. ill see you all at dinner.”

aoi and the three girls said goodbye to him as he made his exit.

tanjirou walked down the halls of the butterfly estate, before stumbling upon the garden. he sighed, walking out with the intention to take a look at the peaceful view of the garden meadow and for some fresh air.

his peace was interrupted, however, as his eyes locked upon two well known people cuddled up on the garden grass, taking a peaceful nap.

his fists clenched, and so did his teeth.

he felt jealousy over power him. he did not realize it, but it was there and he felt it. he just didnt know what it was.

but what he knew, was regret.

that he had let (y/n) slip past him.

#kny tanjirou #tanjirou x reader #demon slayer tanjirou #angst #kny x reader #demon slayer inosuke #inosuke x reader #inosuke kny #im back #:(( <3 #kimetsunoyaiba #demon slayer #fanfic #kny fanfic #kny fandom

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

Text

Mirrors (Box Boy Kauri)

The Anon with the question about Kauri seeing Vincent Shield kind of took over my pre-work writing time today! Whoops. At least I got a little work done on Danny before I got distracted...

Tagging: @maybeawhumpblog, @pepperonyscience, @haro-whumps, @18-toe-beans, @burtlederp!

CW: Some references to past violence, brief/vague references to Kauri’s treatment by Owen, but nothing specific at all

Kauri doesn’t look in mirrors.

There are a few, around the house - in the bathrooms and one in Owen’s bedroom that’s big on the wall. He can’t quite escape that one, but he never has to look directly at it, so all he catches is a hint of his black hair, the curls that escape any attempt to control them, long thin limbs and pale skin.

That’s it.

He never looks at his face.

When he brushes his teeth in the morning - when he uses the special soap for his skin and the washcloth over cheeks and mouth and jaw and nose and forehead - he doesn’t raise his eyes. Owen brushes out his hair and tells him if it’s good enough, and Kauri never ever looks at himself in the mirror.

He doesn’t like mirrors.

When he gets too close to them, his hands tingle, fingertips going sparking and numb and asleep. Look at 645898. His heart pounds, and he feels cold sweat on his neck that he can’t explain. There are too many mirrors even if there are hardly any.

It’s okay. He doesn’t need to look in mirrors, or worry about how he looks, because Owen will tell him when he looks good and when he doesn’t. Owen is very honest, and some people don’t like guys to be honest about whether or not you look good, and isn’t he so fucking lucky-

Incorrect mental aberration.

Kauri’s fingers twitch, and he can feel the little circles they pushed onto his skin that stuck, see the wires, the-... no. He forces that thought away, because the days he doesn’t remember the little circles are the better days.

Custom order, custom training. Look, I don’t make the rules. This is what’s on his paperwork.

So I’m supposed to, what? Put pictures of this guy up on every wall?

I don’t know, don’t look at me. I’ve never had a custom for this kind of shit. Look at the custom positions here. Jesus, this kid’s going to be put through the wringer. Plus making him afraid of his own face? Whoever picked this one must be a real weirdo.

Sssshhh, 645898 will hear you say that.

Who gives a fuck what he thinks? It’s not like he’s people.

They all think they’re people, until they’re done. I guess I’ll try putting the pictures up. What else do you think I could do? Negative reinforcement?

Don’t know. Videos, maybe? Movies? Give ‘im a good once-over every time this idiot’s face is on the screen. Heard the guy’s in a shit ton of movies now. Or, hell, just whisper his fucking name in the pet’s ear.

You know we don’t touch ‘em, Connor. Not allowed. Nobody but the owner. Gets ‘em all nice and needy for the richies.

Yeah, well. Maybe I was a little fuzzy on the no-touching rule. Everyone makes mistakes now and then.

Connor, you’re going to get fired if you keep messing with the merchandise.

Worth it. Besides, my success rate is excellent, they give me the ones that fight. Now, I can tell your jackass trainee’s been listening to us. Want to make him regret it?

Kauri cleans the mirrors without ever looking at them. There’s a cleaning lady who redoes all his work, but he doesn’t care. He only cleans to make time pass faster. He and Keira, working together. She bumps into his feet sometimes and it’s like having a cat or a dog, he tells himself. It’s like having something that cares about him.

He wants to look in the mirror, because he’s not supposed to look in the mirror. And Owen’s not home right now, so it’s the only chance he’ll get. He wants to he wants to he wants to.

He can’t.

It’s like remembering he used to be someone else, when he tries. And he’s not allowed to know if there was anyone else in his skin. It’s a face on the wall and a voice in his ear and the circles pressed against his temples and the pain.

His hands shake, his feet don’t feel the floor anymore. He tries to look at himself, to see the blue eyes and the black hair and the skin. Catches a glimpse and thinks, I didn’t know my eyes were shaped that way, that’s kind of pretty. I wonder if anyone else looks like me.

For just a half-second, he sees the same eyes, but longer hair. Her smiling face when he shoved his way past her down the stairs to where someone had breakfast ready for them. Out of my fucking way, jackass, she laughed at him with a backpack over her shoulders, and they tripped over each other at the landing, sprawling, and Mom yelled at them to get a move on already.

Kauri was mad, but he wasn’t really, because her name was Keira and his name was-

ERASED

There’s a sudden rush of white in his vision. He feels his knees buckle and his heart fall somewhere near the floor and a thunk and then nothing at all.

Kauri wakes up lying on the bathroom floor with Keira bumping into his arm. Kauri physical condition deteriorate. Kauri blood pressure drop. Kauri adrenaline. Kauri reassurance require? Keira provides.

“N-No,” Kauri whimpers. His head hurts - he must have hit it on the bathtub, and Owen will be pissed at him for giving himself a bruise. He’s not allowed to bruise. All the marks have to fade in less than two hours, that’s the rule. They all have to fade, and he’s not allowed to hurt himself, only Owen. “No, Keira, I’m okay, I’m okay, I just-... ow ow ow.”

He hears the door open and close, and freezes where he lays on the bathroom floor. Owen is talking on his phone, he thinks, and he sounds annoyed. “Yeah, sure, okay, I’ll have them over. Look, you don’t have to meet with her here, do you, Mom? You know Kauri is-... yeah, okay. No, I can lock him in my room or something. I know you don’t like to see them.”

Kauri’s eyebrows furrow. He’s never seen anyone in the condo but the cleaning lady, and she doesn’t talk to him. His head hurts, pounding on the right side where he must have hit the tub, and he groans, then claps a hand over his mouth.

Too late.

“Mom? I’ll call you back.” Owen’s voice is closer, and he opens stops in the open bathroom doorway, looking down at Kauri as he slides his phone into his back pocket.

Call for help

Who would you call? You signed up for this. You signed the contract, 645898.

“Hey, Kor-bore, watcha doin’ on the floor?” Owen grins at his own rhyme and Kauri smiles back at him, faintly, automatically.

“I, um, fell over,” Kauri says, pushing himself onto his knees, into Position Two.

“Yeah, looks like. Shit, you’re gonna have a goose egg, huh?” Owen isn’t angry, and Kauri is confused for a second, until Owen leans over him, a shadow over his body, and presses hard into the red spot at the right side of Kauri’s head, half-hidden by his hair.

Kauri winces away from it, but Owen clicks his tongue three times and Kauri freezes, grabbing onto his pant legs, the soft jogger sweatpants, with fingers that dig hard into the fabric until his hands ache with the grip and the effort of holding still. Owen presses this thumb harder, and harder.

“Pl-please stop, Mr. Owen,” Kauri whines and then the thumb is gone, immediately, and he breathes a sigh of relief. Owen is so nice, to listen to him, when owners don’t have to listen to their Box Boys, Owen tells him all the time.

“What’d you do to hit your head like that?” Owen crouches in front of him, and there are things Kauri lies to him about, but he feels shaky and his head hurts, even worse now.

He can’t remember how to lie.

“I, um… I tried to look in the mirror,” He whispers, and his shoulders jerk when Owen laughs.

He thinks he doesn’t like the way Owen laughs. But when his hand slides through the black curls, Kauri leans into it, closes his eyes, and feels his pounding heart start to slow, to calm. Owen is safe, when he is nice. Owen is the safest thing on earth.

He’s the only safety Kauri has.

The owner’s touch is safe, whoever they are.

“They did such a good job, didn’t they?” Owen stands, glancing at himself in the mirror - the sandy blond hair that sort of flops over his forehead, the angular shape of his face, a hint of stubble on his jaw. Kauri looks up at him wincing as the light hurts his eyes a little bit. “Shit. My mom’s coming, Kauri, and so is Karen Renford. You remember her, right?”

Kauri’s heart freezes, and blood runs like ice in his veins. “Yes, Mr. Owen.” His voice shakes, but if Owen notices, he doesn’t show it. “I remember Ms. Renford. Is she… Am I… Am I getting-”

Please, no, I don’t want to go back

Don’t make me go back there

Owen blinks and glances over his shoulder down at him, then just laughs, kindly. Kauri’s shoulders relax. “No, Kor-bore. She’s just coming to meet my mom, it’s a nice neutral place for them, I guess. I’m going to have some people over, so it’ll be like a real dinner party, too. We’ll have to lock you up for it, my mom doesn’t like the Box Boys much. Well, doesn’t like me having one anyway. Not one that looks like you.”

“Wh-what’s wrong with how I look?” He tilts his head, and Owen sighs. He doesn’t like when Kauri asks too many questions, and Kauri’s mouth snaps shut.

“Nothing’s wrong with how you look. What’s wrong is how he looks. That he still looks at all.” Owen looks in the mirror one more time, then back down at him. Then he leaves, and as Kauri pushes himself to his feet, he hears Owen laughing to himself down the hall.

“God, they did a great job on him,” Owen says, and laughs again. “Sweet boy can’t even look at himself.” Kauri picks Keira up and carries her back to the living room, her little wheels spinning.

What job did they do to me?

What did I sign up for?

#whump #box boy cinematic universe #box boy #erase to control #box boy universe #brainwashed #conditioned #conditioning #captivity #brainwashed whumpee #whumpee #intimate whumper #creepy whumper #owen grant #is so fucking creepy #and poor #kauri

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mysteryofren · 4 years

Text

You will never forget

part 10 of So Happy Together

part 9

The rest of the week went by slow. There was a lot of crying. A lot of late nights with the group. A lot of Elaine coming home to you crying. It felt like a stab to the guy every time you saw him. Your friends knew this, so they decided to start eating lunch out on the lawn to reduce the risk of you all having to see him. You felt bad. Ben was Matt's brother, and even though he assured you he didn’t wanna see him either. You couldn't help, but feel guilty. You wish you could switch classes to avoid having to see him every morning, but you didn't want to go that far. It was finally Friday, and on your way out of calculus Professor Windu had stopped you.

“I'm concerned. Your grades have never been this low.” he said handing you all your work from the week.

“Im sorry sir, but a B is still passing.” you immediately regretted saying that.

He sighed before going to close the door. “Yes. a B is still passing, but not for you. For as long as I can remember I've always striven for nothing less than an A. Now you're scoring low B’s, and I even heard from other teachers that you skipped the other day. What's going on?”

“It's personal.” you flipped through the papers. Looking at all the grades. Sure enough you had gotten an 80-85 on all of them.

“Listen. Your grandfather and I are friends. I know he wouldn't be happy with me if i saw something was going on with you and didn't reach out to see if you were alright.”

You stayed staring at the papers. He walked over and grabbed them. He tossed them in the trash and opened his draw digging out new sheets.

“I remember being a teenager. I remember how hard it was, but i've gotten to know you well these past few years, and i know you are strong.“ he handed the new worksheets over to you.

“I know everyone goes through things. I understand if you don't exactly feel like talking to some old guy about it, but i know you're smart. I know you can do better. Redo do them over the weekend. Ill ignore the first ones and put the new ones in the grade book.”

You put the sheets in your binder. “Thank you sir. I appreciate your concern. I'll get these done.”

“You're a good kid. You'll get through whatever you're going through, and you'll come out of it stronger.”

You walked out of his class, smiling. The perk of having your grandfather, was that he was well loved. That meant no matter where you went in town someone was always looking out for you. Lunch came quick and the day was already better than previous ones. You greeted your friends on the lawn and sat. you all talked about things you loved doing, and even started planning a day to go out together. You had felt so much better than you had been lately. You took out the instax camera and started taking pictures of your friends. You and Matt were talking when Phasma had picked up the camera and taken a picture of you both. You asked her to take another where you both were posing. He wrapped one arm around you and gave a weird thumbs up with an open smile while you laughed. just then you heard someone clear their throat behind you guys.

“I'm gonna need the car this weekend.” Ben said looking at Matt. He slid his arm off of you and looked at him.

“No way! We were planning on hanging out this weekend and I was gonna drive us!” he said motioning to the group. You noticed the death glares that Hux and Phas were giving Ben.

“Well i'm taking Rey out.” he looked over at you. You tried to hide the hurt you felt but failed miserably. “I'm sure you can find another way to get to where you're going.”

He walked off. The little bit of progress you had made was tossed out the window when he said that. He had ignored you to date Rey. She had everything she wanted. Why did she need him too? You felt tears starting to build up again. When you felt a mass of weight hit you. Everyone had gotten up to hug you.

“Trust me, had I known he was dating Rey I would've said something!!”

“It’s okay,” you said, trying to even your breathing, ”it's not your fault.”

“Don't worry we're gonna have an awesome day tomorrow. You'll have so much fun you'll forget all about him.” Phasma said, pulling away.

“Just imagine me trying to skate. The image itself is hilarious, imagine watching me do it.” Hux had said. You laughed as everyone went back to their spots. You all continued planning, as you tried pushing thoughts of Ben to the back of your head. You tried not to imagine him and Rey together. You tried not to see him kissing her the way he kissed you. You were failing miserably.

Later that day you and Matt presented your projects. You had received an A, and Matt wanted to celebrate. You agreed to go out to get ice cream with him. Before you left you needed to go get changed. While changing Elaine walked in.

“Hey whatcha getting dressed for?” she asked as she put her soccer bag down.

“Matt wants to get ice cream to celebrate us getting an A on our project.” you informed her while getting your shoes on.

“Cool, can i come?”

“Yeah I don't see why not.”

“Cool ill meet you guys there! I gotta shower and change.”

You walked out of your dorm and met up with Matt outside. You guys walked over to the small town like area by the campus. You guys talked about your day, and talked about tomorrow.

“By the way did you see phasmas text in the chat about it being 80’s night?”

“Yeah dude im so excited i already have my outfit picked out! It's gonna be so much fun”

“Me too luckily my glasses already fit the era well.” he said while pointing at his glasses.

“Have you ever been skating before?”

“Once when we were kids Kylo taught me and Ben how to do it, oddly he was like a skating pro.”

“What's Kylo like? I mean i know you, and ya know ben sort of, but I don't hear much about him.”

He pulled out his phone, and showed you a bunch of pictures of kylo and him. He looked more like Ben than Matt did. In fact. You could even say he's hotter than Ben. he had long dark hair, with a wide nose just like Ben, and Matt. in every photo he showed you he had a serious look on his face. Like he was upset about something constantly. He also had a large scar that went from his cheek, over his eye, and into his forehead.

“He looks mean, but deep down Kylos really is a great guy. He's studying to be a lawyer at harvard. It's his last year.”

“You sound really close to him.”

“Im close to both of them, but kylo has always talked to me no matter what. Ben has always seen me as the dorky little brother he doesnt wanna be seen with. We're still close though.”

You both arrived at the plaza where the ice cream shop was. It was a long walk, but it had been worth it. You guys made your way inside and sat down waiting for Elaine. You both talked and joked around when she finally got there. You saw the way he looked at her. He had it bad for her. He looked at her like she was what made the world spin around. He loved her. Too bad she really was super focused on school. They would make a cute couple. They Are totally opposite, but the same at the same time. He was tall and always trying to make himself smaller. Meanwhile she was short, but she walked and talked like she was 6’6 with two guns. She had such dark and elegant features. Dark skin, with long curly pitch black hair that made her green eyes appear as if they were glowing. Her face was perfectly chiseled. She looked angelic. It was completely opposite of the blonde headed, pale man sat by her.

“Matt, it's good to see you again, i can't wait to go out with you guys tomorrow.”

“I didn't know you were coming.” he said, hugging her.

“Phasma invited me today, it's gonna be awesome, I love 80’s night.”

“We should add her to the group chat so she's updated on all our bullshit.” you said as you pulled out your phone to add her. You unlocked it and saw you had a message. It was from ben. Elaine and Matt walked to the counter to order when you read the message.

‘So you're hanging out with my brother now? Don't use him to get to me. It's not fair to him.’

What the hell was wrong with him. You knew Matt before you knew Ben, you just never hung out with him before. Even then it was him who reached out first. He had a lot of fucking nerve.

‘That's pretty bold of you to assume that I care that much. Your brother and I have been friend’s a while now, not that it's any of your business. Besides you have Rey. You don't need to worry about what i'm doing.’

Just then they had come back, Elaine holding your regular order. She handed it to you, and you must've looked mad.

“Uh oh. We were gone for like 3 minutes. What happened?” her and Matt sat in front of you. You held up your phone showing them the text.

“Oh what an asshole. No offense Matt.” Elaine said.

“None taken, that's an asshole move. The response is perfect though.”

“Yeah you killed it with that. Put the bitch in his place.”

Matt held his ice cream in the middle of you all and smiled. “To putting bitches in their place.”

“TO PUTTING BITCHES IN THEIR PLACE!!” you all yelled as you bumped your hands into each other careful not to have your ice cream cones touch.

You all laughed and looked around at all the people who stared at you for what you had just said. For some reason you didn't care, you laughed and ate your ice cream. You stopped for a moment. Taking in what you were seeing. You took out the instax camera that you now carry all the time. As your friends laughed you took a photo. You wanted to remember this moment. This was one of the good times. You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. You ignored it as you ate your ice cream and talked. Soon you guys decided to leave luckily Elaine had driven herself here so you didn't have to walk back. You let Matt sit up front so he could be closer to her. You watched them closely. It was clear she was interested in him too.. You knew her though. She genuinely was focused on school work.

“Hey I got a switch in my room, you guys wanna come play mario kart or something?”

Elaine had pulled into the school parking lot. “Hell yeah dude, Y/N you coming?”

“Nah, I gotta redo my calculus work since Windu was nice enough to give me a second chance at it.” you all got out of the car and she locked her car, and took Matts arm.

“Guess it's just you and me Solo.” she said as she led him off. You watched as Matt fumbled over his words as they walked off.

You got to your dorm, and unlocked the door. You automatically put some upbeat music, and got started on the calculus work. You danced around as you figured out the problems, still high off the fact that you told Ben off. You may be heartbroken, but you'd be damned if he accused you of pretending to be Matt's friend. That reminded you he had messaged you back earlier. You decided to check what he had said.

‘Just. stay away.’

You scoffed. Who the fuck did he think he was? Did he really expect you to just stop being friends with Matt because of him? You threw the phone on your bed and continued to do your work. Soon enough you were done with it. You would be able to give it to him Monday morning. You put the worksheets back in your binder and packed a bag. You planned on going to your grandfathers after your night out with the group. While folding your clothes up you thought you heard a knock. You paused your music and heard it again. It couldn't have been Elaine. She had a key. You walked slowly towards the door to look outside the peephole when you heard someone yell from the other side.

“I know you're in there. You can't pretend like you're not.” it was Ben's voice. What the hell was he doing?

“So what you're gonna ignore me now? Huh?”

“If I remember correctly you were the one ignoring me.” you yelled through the door. “I'm just returning the favor asshole.”

“Stay the hell away from my brother. I've got enough going on. I don't need you around making things harder.”

“Fuck off Solo. he's my friend. You were too.” you said trying not to cry.

“You're delusional if you thought what we had was a friendship.” you heard him slam his fist against your door then storm off. Without thinking you walked out and yelled down the hall.

“You can deny the fact that we were friends, but you can't deny the fact that you kissed me. Twice Solo! Twice! That's something you will never forget! Not as long as i'm around!” tears streamed down your face as he walked off ignoring you. People were walking out of their dorms to see what was happening. They stared at you as you walked back into your dorm. That man was going to be the death of you.

#ben solo fanfiction #bensoloxreader #ben solo x reader #ben solo #teen!ben solo #star wars fanfiction #star wars tfa #star wars #star wars au #star wars tros #star wars x reader #teen!reader #reader insert #matt the radar technician

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