#and sometimes we can also learn plenty from good times

[marrow-bone]

I know it's only my problem and it's not fair to others but it sucks to like;; care about people instantly and without reason. To be like 'Ah yes, I actively care about this person just because they're a person who I know, and I will go out of my way for their health and happiness' but it seems like most people aren't keen on doing even mildly inconvenient things for your peace of mind or health back.

It feels nice to be useful, but hurts so bad to be just convenient or tolerated.

[hermajestyimher]

This Is How We Will Own 2023:

We're less than a month away from the New Year, and as such, it is important that we begin to set the foundations and plans we have to not only succeed, but make 2023 a memorable year.

Regardless of how 2022 went for you, regardless of how many goals you were able to achieve, a new year marks a new beginning. Do not beat yourself over how things went, focus on how you can improve them moving forward.

In 2023 we're:

Spending less time being passive scrollers online. The pandemic is over, the world is back in action and so must we. It's time to stop letting our minds be consumed by the opinions of thousands of people on the internet. More often than not, the things we read online come from the psyche of mentally unwell individuals, and given social media's tendency to prompt out the voices of the most unhinged, it gives people that shouldn't have a platform a false sense of authority. In 2023 we're getting off the grid as much as we can and reconnecting with the real world. We will not allow this online façade to swallow us into its void any longer.

Spending more time learning and engaging in high-end activities and hobbies that can elevate our social circle and our taste. Things like polo matches, pilates, ballet, opera, piano classes, poetry, political forums, martial arts, and high-intensity sports, among other things. It is crucial to cultivate a persona that engages in a variety of fulfilling activities that can bring us joy but also help us grow as individuals.

Prioritizing our health and fitness. No more excuses, it's time to cut down on added sugar and refined carbs, time to eat more nutrient-dense whole foods, drink plenty of water daily, invest in vitamin injections every other month, take supplements to improve our body's collagen production, and overcome feelings of laziness by pushing ourselves through fitness goals. 2023 we will make of the gym our sanctuary.

Living below our budget and investing as much as we can. If you haven't already, get a financial advisor, develop long and short-term financial goals and get organized with your income. It doesn't matter if in the past you've felt like your financial habits have not been the most adequate, it's never too late to take control of them and be responsible. We owe to ourselves to spend wisely to have the peace of mind financial security brings. Never go broke trying to impress others.

We're no longer entertaining inadequate men. I must admit I'm guilty of this myself. After years of not dating, getting back into the dating scene has felt extremely disappointing and tiring. Most prospects are simply not up to par with the standards I have and what I want out of my life partner. Sometimes we allow ourselves to become desperate to build these types of romantic relationships that we begin to overlook the things that we really want deep down. In 2023, we're refocusing our attention on living our best lives and being as active as possible in real-life events as touched upon previously, and trust that the right dating prospects will present themselves when we least expect. We attract, we don't chase.

Finally, we're overcoming negative self-talk patterns that hinder our growth. We're investing in therapy, we're unlearning the limiting beliefs that keep us in bondage to people, routines, and views of the world that are not good for us. We have to put an end to the insidious lie of the scarcity mindset, overcome past traumas, and look forward to the good things that are yet to come.

There are many more things I could add to this list, but for now, these are the things I and I know many of you will find helpful on improving on for the year to come. These lists can come out as intimidating to some people, but we have to remember that we are not expected to become the ideal version of ourselves overnight. Growth is a marathon, not a sprint, and it requires consistency. Each day that you wake up and choose to do one or two things differently you're making stride towards that better you. No improvement is ever too little.

Let's make 2023 a memorable year, and every year afterwards.

Daphne.

[too-much-tma-stuff]

No Body to Bury

This is a full dead spin off of another one shot I read about Danny being given flowers for his grave by a child.

-------

The Justice League had been working with Phantom for a while now, not consistently, but he showed up when they were dealing with something ~spooky~, and he’d given them a way to contact him. They called him in to consult, or to back them up sometimes because he was a bit of a power-house. At first they had thought the name was part of his shtick, after all his powers were ghostly enough and there was something satisfying about having a theme.

They had started to suspect something when the child citizen had given him flowers for his grave, and his delighted reaction. It could have just been a kid happy to get a gift, but it wasn’t, it was clearly more then that and Batman had had a flashback to one of Constantine’s crash course lesson’s on supernatural, the one on ghosts. Graves were very important to them, as were morning gifts like flowers and candles, whatever was culturally appropriate.

None of them knew where Phantom’s grave was, Batman had tried to find it, to find anything about the ghosts life and death, but there wasn’t much. Not before he became a hero in Amity park, so he could maybe guess that the other had died in Amity (if he had died), but there was no deaths that matched up with his appearance. The closest thing was a boy named Danny but he had gone missing years after Phantom showed up, and he’d never been declared dead officially. More was impossible to find, even after the GIW had been disbanded the information they had destroyed about the town couldn’t all be retrieved.

Since Batman didn’t know where Phantom’s grave was he couldn’t leave flowers on it directly which meant he had to actually give them to the ghost boy. It was a bit uncomfortable the first few times, and his kids made fun of him for being emotionally repressed but… it made Phantom so happy, and brought him closer and closer to Batman. He had already started to see Phantom as one of his kids, even if he knew he’d never get the ghost to come back to the manor. The gifts helped, he found that Phantom also liked to receive food, he even picked at it sometimes even though it seemed he didn’t need to eat. Sharing meals with him was a good excuse to actually talk some though, Batman would listen and eat his own food as Phantom picked at his and rambled about space, about recent fights he’d been in, and people he’d met.

Through all that Batman managed to learn more about the young hero, about what he valued, and what he did when he wasn’t being a hero. Apparently he spent a lot of time off world but exploring rather then being a hero to the galaxy. Batman had a feeling superman would be upset by that, that Phantom could be doing more good then he was and was choosing not to. But the ghost was clearly still a kid, or at least had been when he died, and he was plenty heroic, he didn’t need to be dealing with universal threats at maximum sixteen years old, Batman felt bad calling him in for the planetary threats, but sometimes it was unavoidable.

As they got closer Phantom started to let other things slip, that he’d had a sister, and a couple of close friends that he still watched over when he could. When Batman had asked if those people knew he was dead Phantom had fallen silent for a full minute and then changed the subject entirely, Batman hadn’t pushed it that time. If he had Phantom would have retreated, but as it was they kept having lunch together, and the boy let more and more slip. Including more stories about those friend he must have had while he was alive, it was during one of those that he let his name slip.

“So my sister said to me, ‘Danny you should-‘” his mind seemed to catch up with his mouth and he froze, Batman was still too but when Phantom started to fade from view he spoke up.

“Phantom, wait, why don’t we leave the tower and go somewhere private. We can talk secret identities, I’ll tell you mine too,” Batman promised, he thought it was the best way to make Danny feel better, besides he did trust Phantom.

Danny hesitated before fading back into full visibility and nodding, “Alright,” He agreed, looking very young and vulnerable. “Do you mind if I fly us down to earth? I’ll keep you safe from space,” He asked and Batman nodded, letting Danny grab his arms and phase them through the building and out. Danny flue quickly back down to the earth, the side facing away from the sun so it was the middle of the night, putting Batman down in the middle of an abandoned park, landing as well and going to sit on the swing set.

Batman followed, sitting down next to the young hero and trying hard not to think about Ace, another talented and powerful person who went through to much and died to young. Once he was sat down Bruce sighed and took off his cowl, showing his face to the other young hero. “I’m Bruce Wayne,” He said with a wry smile when he saw familiar recognition cross over Danny’s face.

“No way, that makes so much sense,” Danny cackled, which wasn’t the reaction Bruce was expecting. He’d ask about that later, instead he just gestured for Danny to introduce himself next.

“Danny Fenton,” the kid introduced, holding out his hand with an impish little smile. Bruce chuckled and shook it as if this was the first time they’d met instead of having known each other for nearly a year.

“I know that name,” Bruce hummed thoughtfully, back peddling a little when Danny tensed. “Sorry, worlds greatest detective and all, I did a bit of research on Amity Park when you joined us to see if I could track you down. I had ruled that out because your civilian identity didn’t go missing for two years until after you showed up as Phantom. Does that mean you’re not, well, dead?” He asked, rubbing the back of his neck at the awkward question.

“Oh, no, I’m very dead,” Danny said with a bitter chuckle, pushing himself to rock on the swing a little. “But I didn’t die for a couple of years after I got my powers, not fully. I don’t think most people understand what it’s like to die twice,” He said, looking down, already pale hands going white around the knuckles with how tight he was holding the chains.

“You don’t have to talk about it,” Batman said softly, leaning forward and bracing his elbows on his knees. “But if you want to talk, I’ll listen, and I won’t break your confidence,” Bruce assured, they sat quietly for a few more minutes before Danny sighed and looked away.

“My parents were.. well probably best classed as mad-scientists. I loved them and they loved me but they were obsessed with ghosts and with discovery, it was always a tossup which was more important. I would join them in their lab to get their attention, and it was often my job to clean up after them. I ended up being micro-dosed on this stuff they called ectoplasm a lot which probably helped when the accident happened. My parents were trying to build a portal to the ‘ghost-zone’, what Constantine calls the infinite realms. It didn’t work at first, not till I stepped inside it, then it opened and it electrocuted me at the same time as flooding me with that weird glowing green ooze. It killed me and resurrected me simultaneously but not properly.

“Instead of actually bringing me back to life it bound my ghost back to my own body so I became the ghost possessing myself. That’s when I started working as a hero, while I was still partially alive.” He paused, swinging for a moment while Bruce stayed quiet and still, trying not to think about what Danny’s homelife must have been life, or how much it must have hurt to be killed like that.

“After a while the GIW showed up, they tried to catch me, but my parents had been trying to catch or destroy me as phantom for years. The GIW weren’t nearly as competent as the Red Huntress, so I avoided and ignored them. But I started to take it for granted and dismiss them, I didn’t pay enough attention, and they finally got the drop on me. I don’t want to talk about everything they did to me, but it was bad, and it was to much for my human half,” Danny stopped again and bit his lip, there was a hitch in his breathing that told Bruce exactly why Danny was hiding his eyes.

“Danny died, but it turned out that being half human was sort of holding back what I was capable of as a ghost,” He snickered with a little bit of bitter, vicious glee. “They couldn’t hold me anymore, all their little devices got left on my corpse when they forced me out and I destroyed the lab. After that I just… couldn’t go back to my life, it’s not natural. I died, they need to grieve me. That’s- that’s how it works.”

“And did they? Did you… get a burial?” Bruce asked, because he hadn’t seen anything about it in the news. His fear was confirmed when Danny took a deep breath and shook his head.

“No, I didn’t leave my body in the wreckage. I was worried… scratch that, I knew my parents would cremate me to try and keep me from coming back as a ghost, because they didn’t know I already was one. And that would weaken my connection to this world. I need to protect people, it’s half my purpose, I need a connection to this world.”

“Where did you hide it?” Batman asked, his breath catching when he saw Danny’s eyes flash a dangerous red.

“Why do you want to know?” He growled, bearing teeth that were sharper then they usually were. “You gonna give it back to my family for ~closure~? Destroy it yourself to curtail my power? I know Constantine is scared of me, he’d like that.”

Bruce immediately held his hands up in a placating gesture, of course Danny would be protective of his body. “No nothing like that Danny, I promise,” He said quickly. “But I just remember from what I’ve been told about ghosts, having a grave is important and, if you wanted, I would like to see you get a proper burial. It’s your body, you should get to control what happens to it but if you wanted a grave, a funeral, we have a protected graveyard for fallen heros. You’d fit right in,” He said with a uncertain smile.

Danny relaxed slowly, his eyes going back to green and his expression turning contemplative, looking back down as he thought about the offer. “Maybe… maybe,” He murmured. “It would be nice to have a grave, I’ve been leaving the flowers near my body in the ghost zone but… it would be nice to have a grave. I can feel the longing, the instinct. It feels bad to not have… have that, have something.

“But… I am scared. Would you be willing to- if you do an empty coffin funeral and burial for me, I’ll put my body in it, once the coffin is in the protected ground I can phase my body into it?” He asked, looking up at Batman worriedly and it was so obvious Danny was just a kid, a neglected boy who had been unlucky enough to die violently twice.

“Of course Danny, however you feel most comfortable,” Batman assured. Watching as Danny took a deep breath, more out of habit then anything, then nodded firmly.

“Then, I would like that. I know I am still here in a way so it feels weird having a funeral for me but, I still died, and I’d like to be remembered.” He murmured uncertainly.

“Of course, I understand. We didn’t get rid of my son’s grave when he came back because he still died. Being brought back, in any way, doesn’t really undo that,” Bruce sympathized, finally getting a small smile from Danny.

“Thank you Bruce, you’re a good guy. Now… do you need a lift back to the watchtower?”

“Yes please,” Bruce agreed with a sigh, finally standing up and pulling his hood back on. He had a funeral to plan.

"When we do have the funeral, can you ask your son to come? I'd like to meet him," Danny asked and Batman hummed, not sure how to explain the complicated relationship he had with Jason now.

"I'll try," He agreed, that was the best he could do really.

Part 2: here

[stevesbipanic]

@steddiemas Day 16: "Can you give me one more night, please?"

Steve had done this song and dance before. Maybe not with another guy before, but plenty of girls. They'd smile at his flirty lines, curl their hair between their fingers, laugh at his dumb jokes. They'd say yes to a date, maybe even stay modest the first time. He'd buy them dinner, take them dancing, cuddle and watch a movie. Eventually they'd get what they were looking for, them in Steve's bed.

Only Nancy had ever stayed overnight. Most girls were out the door before Steve had even had his pants back on. To everyone they'd say how good of a lay he was, might even call him again for a round two. They didn't stay for him though, they stayed for Steve Harrington. Even after his fall from grace, they'd say with a sense of pride that they'd slept with him.

He had hoped Eddie would be different, and in some ways he was. Eddie would stay over sometimes, if they'd smoked too much before bed to drive home safely. He never spouted around town that he'd gotten Steve into bed, not that it would be safe to do so. He never let Steve pay when they went out, but he also never called them dates.

Steve knew where it was heading, where they all headed. But he couldn't help himself. He was falling in love with Eddie despite his knowledge that it'd end in heartbreak. Soon Eddie would grow tired of what Steve could give him and he'd see he was bullshit just like Nancy had. He'd just thought he'd have more time.

"I can't do this anymore."

Steve broke their kiss at his words, no, it couldn't be ending now, please.

"What?"

Eddie pushed Steve back slightly, Steve missed his warmth already.

"I can't keep doing this with you, Steve."

"But, but we're having fun right? You're still having fun right?"

Eddie shook his head and Steve could feel his heart breaking in two, he'd waited for this but it didn't hurt any less. He only hoped Eddie would be gentle, that they still be friends.

"No, Steve, it'll just end up hurting."

But it was already hurting, couldn't Eddie see that. Steve felt tears prickle in his eyes.

"Can you give me one more night please?"

Maybe just one more night to let Steve's heart say goodbye to the first love that had felt right in his life. One more night and Steve could try and learn to be ok without Eddie, a fact he knew would be impossible. Eddie's face was pinched in pain.

"Stevie."

The nickname felt like a dagger through Steve's heart, why did Eddie have to say it like it hurt him.

"Stevie, I can't just be the guy you call when you're feeling lonely, I deserve to have something real and so do you."

Wasn't what they had real, wasn't any of it real?

"You were the first thing I'd ever had that felt real, Eds."

The shock was clear on Eddie's face, that had not been the response he'd been expecting.

"What do you mean, Steve?"

What else could he mean, what he felt for Eddie was real even if Eddie just saw it as bullshit.

"I–."

The words get caught in his throat, but when would he ever get another chance to say them.

"I love you, Eddie, so much, and I know you don't feel the same way and you're going to leave like everyone else did but I need you to know I never thought what we had wasn't real."

Tears had begun to pool on the edge of Eddie's eyes as he slowly took Steve's face in his hands. Steve tried to commit the feeling to memory.

"Sweetheart, why didn't you tell me. I thought you were just, I don't know, waiting until something better came along."

Steve pushed his face into Eddie's hands and a smile began to creep onto his face.

"Oh, Eds, don't think anyone could be better than you."

The kiss Eddie gave him may have been the realest thing he'd ever felt and later, when he'd awake to Eddie still by his side, his warmth chasing away the winter air, well nothing felt better than that.

Ao3

[chronicallycouchbound]

Intelligence Doesn't Equal Morality

Intellect is rooted in ableist systems and stupidity and intelligence are pointless social constructs that don't relate to morals or character.

I try to be a pretty good person, I fight for human rights, I regularly engage in mutual aid, and I care for my community. I try to do the right thing and support causes I care about and make positive changes in the world.

But I also am not very smart. I have several neurodevelopmental disorders, as well as cognitive disabilities. I can’t do simple, basic math, it’s hard for me to remember facts or algorithms, I rely entirely on spellcheck and speech-to-text to write, I failed many classes in high school and I barely passed with a low GPA, I had low pSAT scores and I never took the SATs. I moved around a lot all through school starting in third grade, and I missed a lot of basic fundamentals in learning (like how to do division and multiplication) so when I went to a different school they had already passed it and expected me to know. After my TBI, I could barely read AFTER I was cleared from my “concussion” symptoms because letters and words would flip around and I’d get headaches. Which still happens sometimes.

A lot of people see me as smart because I've learned a lot of academic language and can formulate thoughts into cohesive posts. But I lack a lot of necessary skills and rely on my caretakers to assist me. Things like budgeting and planning are extremely difficult for me. If I need to do simple addition or subtraction, even with a calculator, I quickly get confused and struggle. I forget basic information about myself all the time, let alone other subjects. I'm talking, has to check my ID for my birthday type confused. Doesn't know my name or address or what year it is confused. It happens daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Being able to type out posts like this often takes weeks and many adaptive tools to get there. Focusing is extremely difficult on many fronts, severe chronic pain, ADHD, dissociation, fatigue, migraines, and TBI, are just some of the contributing factors. I struggle daily with many things because of my lack of intellect.

I’m also privileged in the fact that I had some access to education as a homeless youth, that I had some supports in place to help me (towards the end of school), that I was somewhat able-bodied at the time and could walk or bike to and from school when the school system didn’t provide transportation. I was fortunate to have a chance to succeed, and I’m proud that I graduated high school because it was a difficult task for me, and others often aren’t offered that chance or get accommodations. I almost didn’t and I dropped out many times before graduation. I passed on sheer luck and what little privileges I had. 

That all being said, me being stupid (reclaiming it here) doesn't make me a bad person. I don't hurt people because I can't do math. I may mess up things or get confused but it doesn't make me want to harm others.

We often (wrongfully) equate morals with intellect. Being ‘stupid’, ‘dumb’, or an ‘idiot’ doesn’t automatically make someone a bad person. Plenty of evil, awful, and abusive people are extremely intelligent. 

I see this most notably with people advocating for IQ tests to be able to vote. Often from left-leaning people, in hopes it'll make the right (that they view as unintelligent), unable to vote. The reality is, it just hurts some of our most vulnerable members of the community while not actively doing anything to restrict some of the most dangerous members of our community-- those who know what they're doing to harm others and deliberately doing so. My voice matters, and I speak up against injustice and participate in dismantling oppressive systems. Taking away my right to vote won't make the right stop oppressing minorities (which also puts a lot of faith into the two-party voting system, which is a post for another day).

Additionally, legislative measures that discriminate against intellectually disabled people such as IQ tests for voting are also rooted in racism and classism. 

Yes, education can be a vital tool when it comes to addressing discrimination and creating safer communities. But the kind of education that is measured with an IQ test (or any test) isn't the same. Building compassion and caring for others can (and should) happen at any IQ level. We can all practice this, we can all participate.

It harms our communities and stagnates our progress when we equate intelligence with high morals.

[iluvprettygirls]

NARCISSUS; self-infatuation — a guide

“ Narcissistic, my god i love it “ – IVE, Love Dive

one thing us girls are told is to ‘love ourselves’, but how do you do that ? this is a starter guide to help you start on this ‘self love’ journey–

💋 be gentle, but strict with yourself ! sometimes, the voice in your head has to be your own big sis. working on/ practicing discipline will allow you to develop a kind of respect for yourself, which in turn, will help you be kinder to yourself when it comes to developing yourself as a person.

💋 ignore outside negative opinions ! the person sitting in the same room as you, their opinion doesn’t matter. why ? will they be there at your deathbed while you recollect your life choices ? ignore them, this is your life, and your path, your opinion matters more than anyone else's. be kinder to yourself please–

💋 shamelessly you ! show off the best parts of your personality to the world, we love it ! i like to see imperfect smiles and odd laughter, goofy actions that make onlookers go “wow, she may be weird, but if i had that confidence, i would do the same !” the biggest inspiration for me, has been random people who are being themselves so shamelessly, that they automatically gain my respect, be her !

💋 establish your style now ! a lot of us like to wait until we have accomplished something to show our true style. for example, many girls think “when i lose this much weight, i’ll start dressing the way i want !” stop that line of thinking. i get that using that as a reward system can be motivating, but it will also make you dissatisfied with your present self. presenting your style now, not only helps you understand what you like at a faster rate, but it will give the people around you plenty of time to get used to the real you (before you reach your goals).

💋 establish your mindset ! how do you think ? what’s your philosophy of the world around you ? understanding factors like that will help you with paving your future. follow opportunities (finding your desired career,desired friends, desired school, desired place to live, etc.) that support this mindset, THAT is the true key to happiness !

💋 enjoy the little things ! life has multiple ups and downs. when its good, its good, and when its bad, its bad. But focusing on every bad thing; thats dangerous and not worth your time. other women don’t learn this until they hit their thirties, lets listen and learn from them and enjoy the small things in life.

💋 release your positivity ! when you make people around you smile in your presence, it makes you happy as well. people will see you being so positive, that they will reflect more positivity back onto you like a mirror..

💋 have fun ! letting go every once in a while will give you motivation to continue. having fun will make you enjoy what life has to offer. No matter what position, what country, or what race you are, if you have even the slightest chance to chase the opportunity of fun, why decline ? the world is giving it to you for free !

don’t forget ! during every journey, patience will be your best friend. many of us have burnt bridges with ourselves that we want to rebuild, and luckily for us, we have all the time in the world to understand ourselves, give yourself some time and understanding, she deserves it–

@iluvprettygirls

[buckysegan]

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration - Part three.

Summary: The letters back and forth between our loves through the rest of the war. Word Count: 2.1K A/N: we are def rolling with some historical inaccuracies in regards to letters here but sue me, do i know how long the letters took? not a clue. but google gave us a good guess. john egan how i miss you, i need your love so here i give you mine. Part two link.

Dear Major Egan,

I'm delighted to hear I'm with you. I hope you know, that you've been with me too. It's rather insane to me if I think about it too much, just how much I've thought about you in the time that I've waited for your letters. Part of me was worried that you would think I was a little crazy righting to a man I didn't know and an even bigger part of me was worried my letters would reach you too late, but I'm glad you were happy to hear from me.

I don't mind that you're a simple guy, in fact I think I like that, then I won't have to worry about impressing you whilst we write back and forth I can just say what comes to mind. I like to think that I laugh quite easily myself, laughter is free right? And right now I think we could all use a little laughter in the world. I'll tell you my favorite song next and then you can tell me yours, I love you are my sunshine, it warms something in my chest whenever it comes on, I just can't help but smile you know? Your turn John!

I wish I could know exactly where you are, then I could know if you were some place safe but I'll settle for knowing you're still out there. As for me, I'm in Washington, Redmond to be more precise, is that anywhere near where you're from? I'd like to meet you very much Major.

With all my anticipation, excitement and continued adoration,

A friend from home x

Dear Darling,

That's what the boys have been calling you ever since your second letter arrived and given I don't know your name, that's what I decided to roll with. I hope that's alright.

I have no idea how your letters keep finding me at the exact right time, it's like fate keeps leaving it till it knows I need to hear from you. You should also know, it wouldn't matter to me if you were a little crazy, I know I'm crazy so you'd just fit right in. I don't think anyone that thinks laughter is free could be considered crazy though. You seem to good for such a thing.

I've had you are my sunshine stuck in my head for the past few days whilst I tried to find paper to write you. I think the boys were grateful at first because I wasn't sinking Blue Skies my old favorite, now I think they're ready to kill us both darling. Next question, do you like cats or dogs more? I'm not telling you my answer till I know you can be trusted.

I am with you. Know that much, and I guess Washington will be my first stop when I'm back home.

Please never stop writing.

With all my wondering, respect and ever growing adoration

John Egan

Dear John,

I could have given you my name. But I've decided that darling will do quite nicely for now. If you want to know my name you're going to have to make it home and come and get it yourself.

Is it sad of me to confess that every day I don't get your letter I get a little bit sadder until one comes through? I just hate the wait each time even though I know that these things take time. Writing you might just be the most stressful thing I decided to be. How does anyone's heart survive doing this?

You'll be pleased to know, I've been annoying the girls plenty in return with Blue Skies since learning that it's your favourite. I feel like it tells me a lot about you Major. Sing it for me sometime? I also feel like your question is a trick, a cat and a dog have very different purposes in life so I'll just chose both if that's ok?

I wanted to tell you I joined the war efforts myself since I last wrote. I'm in the factories now and I have to admit, I've never enjoyed having dirty hands so much. I'm helping to build the planes. The wings specifically, I think they put me here because I wouldn't stop talking about my pilot John.

I wonder if anything I ever build will make it across to you? My letters won't stop as long as yours don't John.

With all my curiosity, joy and bursting adoration.

Your darling from home x

Dear Darling,

I'm in a terrible mood. Buck said I can't start my letter like that but I told him you'd be alright. You don't mind do you? I have to tell someone or I think I might actually start going a little crazy. I might already be crazy if I didn't get just as excited as you do when the mail call comes through.

I wish I knew you before the war. I wish you knew me before the war, I fear I might not be the John that came to England. I don't even know if I'm the John that start writing you all those months ago. I'm just sort of hoping you won't give up on me anyway even if my letters ain't always sunshine.

And I'm glad darling, I'm so god damn glad that waiting on my letters is the most stressful part of your day. Reminds me why we're doing this, what we're over here for. To keep you all safe at that side.

I suppose I can give you cats and dogs though. I wouldn't want to pick either if we really had to come down to it. My girls smart though huh? Making those planes for us to fly? I gotta say the idea of that does something to me and my bad mood in a good way.

What I wouldn't give to be home with you right now and I never even met you.

My longing, wishing and steady adoration

John Egan

Dear John

You can write to me, come rain or shine, bad moods or good. I don't want to just be here for the fun parts Major. I may not have known you before the war, and I may only just be learning who you are now but I don't doubt for a second, every part of you is worth knowing so tell Buck that I'll take it all and he can keep his opinions to himself.

I'm sorry, it was thoughtless of me to say writing letters were stressful when you're over there doing what needs to be done. More news keeps reaching us and each day I am terrified that your name is going to appear on a list somewhere.

I know that you can't be here, and I can't be there, but I wanted you to have some small piece of me with you so I sent you something with this letter. Keep smiling with me John, through the good and the bad, just keep smiling if you can.

I hope to see you so soon.

All my determination, strength and adoration

Darling x

Dear Darling,

Buck said he's sorry. He won't ever doubt you again. I think you two would really like each other you know.

He's my voice of reason these days, or rather he always has been. One of my two favorite people, him here, and you all the way over there. How is home? Does it still smell as sweet as I remember it?

I'm a little convinced that you're too good to be true darling. Your picture caused more whistles and taunts that I've seen from the boys in forever and I would have knocked them all on their ass if Buck didn't strike and tell me to sit down again. How do you not have a solider of your own to be writing too?

Sometimes when I get down time. I like to day dream about what you're up to over there. How many planes you fixed up for us, imagine taking you dancing on a Friday night, do you have siblings? Your folks still around? I've been trying to picture it all.

I dream of that soon more than I care to admit.

With all my promises, thoughts and adoration

John Egan

Dear John,

I'm glad you have a voice of reason. We wouldn't want you getting up to any trouble now would we? Are you the sort to be in trouble a lot? I get the impression you could be Major Egan.

How are your moods holding up these days? I can't help but worry about you over here even when I'm meant to be busy.

If you could see the blush that you have all caused you would all be ashamed of yourself. I promise I'm real. I tried to get my friend Meg to let me send a picture of her but she claimed you were really going to show up here one day and then you'd be looking for the wrong girl.

I like the idea of you imagining things. It means I'm not the only one. I do have siblings, an older sister who works in the factories with me, and a little brother who is out fighting with you somewhere but his own girl writes him. My folks are both still here with me too. What's your family like?

I do have a solider of my own to be writing John, I have you.

Tell me a secret if you can?

Your darling x

Dear Darling,

Forgive me because this letter will be short, but I needed to send it out before we move. If you don't hear from me in a while, don't worry, I'll write back as soon as I'm able. I want that name, I want the dancing, I want you to meet my mom when I'm back.

You want to know a secret darling? I think it's taken me ten letters to fall in love with you after all you've given me.

With my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

John Egan

Dear John,

I'm writing even if you might not get this because I refuse to believe anything else other than you're busy for a while. I'll be over here waiting for you remember. I'm with you even when I'm not.

I have so much more to tell you and things I want to learn before I am satisfied.

In fact, no I may never be satisfied and then I never have to let you go.

You'll be in each of my thoughts till I hear from you again John, I think loving you took me one letter.

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Your darling x

Dear John

I don't think I've taken a real breath in weeks. I figured I would write you again, just in case the first one didn't reach you and you thought I hadn't wrote back.

Your name hasn't appeared on any lists so I refuse to believe that you're not still out there waiting to come home to me.

In case you missed it in the first letter, I love you too.

I am still expecting you home John Egan, I'd be with you till you were. That was the deal right?

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Your darling x

Dear John

If my letters and love don't reach you where do they go?

Tell me more secrets please? Tell me anything? Tell me you'll sing for me like I asked? What do I do if I never get to meet you?

I've checked each list I've found twice every day for months now. Meg said I'm a mess but I don't really care, I just want to know that you're alright. Even if you're not coming here. Please just tell me you're safe John.

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Your darling x

Dear Darling,

Sorry, I didn't think a little while would be that long but I've thought of you every damn day I couldn't write to you. I got your letters, all three of them made it to my base some how.

I'm hoping I beat this letter home so that I can tell you in person that I love you.

I hope you like what arrives in Washington darling, but please bare with me if it takes me a second to adjust. I'll tell you everything, all of it, anything you want to know about me. I feel like I have very little to offer you but it's all for you now. I'll be home so soon.

With all my heart, my love and my unfiltered adoration

Yours,

John Egan

[arrgh-whatever]

Do you have any favorite sources for learning about medieval things? I just recently got into doing research of that period for my own project and it is daunting for sure and hard to pick out what is nonsense sometimes

Sure!

I don't know in what part of the Medieval Ages you're interested but will give a few sources that'll be a good start.

✸ Medieval Chronicles

Basically a medieval Wikipedia (with a pretty awful title font) which means that it won't tell you much but will be able to give some basic knowledge you can base you further research on.

✸ Advice for time traveling to medieval Europe

A very nice video with plenty of facts about Medieval Life. VERY good for worldbuilding since it tells you about Medieval Life from the perspective of you being there. (It also has a few good book recommendations in description.)

✸ Matt Easton of Schola Gladiatoria

An incredible YouTube channel with all sorts of videos about (not only) Medieval Military History.

✸ Festival of Archaeology 2020

A few amazing videos about Medieval Crafts.

✸ The Castle Builders

Documentaries about Medieval Castles.

✸ The Medieval Feast

And a documentary about Medieval Feast from the same YouTube channel.

(Note that as far as I know most of the information that we have on Medieval Recipes we have from Nobility since poor were not able to record them. So a lot of information you'll find on Medieval Eating might not be applicable to all classes.)

✸ For clothes, jewelry and decorative ornaments I usually use

"The Costume History" by Auguste Racinet

"The World of Ornament" by Auguste Racinet & Auguste Dupont-Auberville

Just like Medieval Chronicles it doesn't have a lot of detailed information on the period but points out important parts and has lots of examples.

✸ I personally don't make the world of Forest Manuscripts extremely historically accurate for the sake of storytelling.

For example I have a few smoking characters and tobacco wasn't introduced to Europe until the 16th century which is a bit later.

Before you break some rules it is important to know history but yeah breaking rules is totally fine unless it's a documentary thing!

[starry-eyesanddaydreams]

NSFW Alphabet - Severus Snape

Time for our favourite potions master. (I think we all love Dom Severus, but I went with a bit of a different approach here, more like what I think he'd actually be like) Enjoy! ;)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

You're usually the one taking care of him afterwards. But he likes to hold you tight and kiss lazily as you both come down off your high.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He doesn't particularly like anything about himself, but if he had to choose, he'd say his hands. On you, it's your breasts. He loves how they feel, the softness, how you respond when he touches them. If you wear a fitted or low-cut shirt, he can be very easily distracted.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Inside you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He accidentally saw a fantasy in your mind once. You were daydreaming about him being dominant with you, pulling you into the potions storeroom and having you against the wall. He does find the thought of being dominant with you a turn on, but he's not confident enough yet to suggest it. One day.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He was a virgin before you. He knew the basics in theory, but in practice he's learning as he goes with you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

You on top. His inexperience is mixed with insecurity and having you on top with plenty of physical contact and eye contact helps him feel more secure.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's not a goofy person just in general, and with this even less. Sex is still a very intense experience for him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

It's not something he'd ever concerned himself with. But since he's been with you, he's starting to indulge in more self-care.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Sex with Severus is very intimate. It took a lot of trust and love to get to this point and that really shows with how you make love.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Before you came into his life, he would every now and then just to take the edge off his stress. But now he thinks it an even more lonely thing to do. He'd much rather just wait until he can be with you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Praise kink. Outside of the bedroom, he’ll deny it entirely. But with you, when you tell him just how good he’s making you feel and how much you love him, he’s completely weak for it. He’s been denied words of love and encouragement for too long and from you he soaks up those words like a dry plant soaks up water.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

In bed. After he got more comfortable, sometimes in the bath or shower. You might start making out on the couch or something, but he'll want to move to the bed before you go all the way.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When you stand up for him. Sirius Black made the mistake of insulting Severus in front of you, and you cast a spell at Black to turn him green with purple spots and told him if he can't control his flapping mouth, you'd spell a muzzle on him. Sev started undoing the laces of your dress the moment you got home. When you brush his hair back and kiss this particular spot behind his ear on the side of his neck, he turns to putty in your hands.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No public sex. And no student/teacher roll play, he just can't.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves receiving, and he's found he enjoys giving too. Having you sit on his face is something he particularly enjoys.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Slow and gentle.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Not something he's really into. A quick make out session, maybe. But you both prefer to actually take your time.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Given his inexperience, pretty much everything is an experiment to him. He's actually pretty vanilla and happy with that. What he has with you now is more than he ever though he'd have. But if you suggest something, he's usually willing to try it.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Once is usually it. Physically he could go more, but emotionally it can get overwhelming.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not toys per se, but when feeling adventurous, you have experimented with a few spells and magic concoctions.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

As he gets more comfortable with sex and intimacy, he’s become more of a tease and enjoys finding ways to get you worked up.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's pretty quiet. Gasps and moans and hard breathing.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Severus has issues about nudity, and it takes him a while to be comfortable with being fully naked around you. You worked on this bit by bit; foreplay while both fully clothed, letting him become familiar with your body first. The first time you had sex you were both still dressed. You always made sure he was comfortable and didn't push him for more than he could handle.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's big. Eight inches and nicely thick. (The bulge in his trousers does not lie. You know which scene I mean)

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Not high before, but the more your relationship progresses, the more his sex drive has started to increase.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Sometimes he'll doze off fairly quickly, other times you may both be awake for half an hour or so cuddling and talking.

[iheartuwu]

₊˚ ♡ random relationship hc’s ◞ leon s. kennedy

fem!reader, fluff, angst, established relationship, implied age gap for like one or two hc’s, wrote these in an id leon brainrot fueled spur lmfao so mostly for an older leon ig !? would love to expand on some of these in a fic, wc 0.6k ╮

gift giving is definitely one of his strongest love languages, however he’s not one for grand gestures or overtly romantic gifts. his gifts are practical, thoughtful, consistent reminders that he’s always thinking of you because he’s never been good with words. he prefers to not be present when you receive them and he’s SO deliberately discreet about it too. subtly replacing your skincare or fav products that are running out with brand new ones, delving into his mental notes of what you’re running low on when he’s at a shop. scheduling food or flower deliveries for when he’s away on a mission or work related tasks. any praise would probably make his skin crawl because he just can’t handle it

terms of endearment feel unnatural to him and rarely fall past his lips unless you seem to react positively to them. i don’t see him as someone who’s that experienced in committed long term relationships ( or relationships in general ) due to the nature of his work and lifestyle. he defaults to ‘babe’ until he learns which terms you prefer / dislike

leon would never accept your offers or attempts to pay for a thing ( i swear by this ). this doesn’t come from a place of arrogance or urge to fulfill some ‘traditionally’ masculine role. his disposable income is plentiful, and he’s happy to pay when the opportunity arises, he honestly doesn’t even think about it and merely hands over his credit card. receiving gifts can often be hard for him but he’ll never purposely display his discomfort or refuse

extremely dry texter and doesn’t really use his phone despite being tech savvy, all of his texts end with periods. rarely ever uses emojis ( his personal favs are 👍👎 and the occasional ❤️ ). typically one word responses. doesn’t understand half of the abbreviations you use. send him a keyboard smash and he’ll think you’re having a stroke. prefers to call you instead

always the driver ( he insists on it ). always has the seat warmer on for you. if you do drive he becomes a backseat driver which can be mildly frustrating. comments on your song choices when you play music in his car but would never tell you to stop no matter how grating it is on his ears and simply endures. sometimes opts for his motorcycle over his car solely because he gets to be held onto by you. would literally never let you even fathom the idea of driving his motorcycle

frequent date nights at borderline obnoxiously ritzy restaurants to compensate for his time spent away from you due to his job. also bc this man cannot cook. does not let you know in advance. he simply says “we have a reservation tonight” like an hour before which often results in you scrambling to get ready

he struggles with sharing his ( darker ) emotions, accompanied by a habit of opting to brush your concerns off. vulnerability is a foreign language to him. he’s scarily good at pretending he is fine, but you manage to see glimpses of his deteriorating wellbeing in his body language. the heavy sighs upon waking up, his slight recoil from your touch, his posture stiffening after you ask him what’s on his mind. this doesn’t come from a place of distrust in any way, he truly just doesn’t want to ‘burden’ you and convinces himself that his struggles aren’t important in the grand scheme of things. he also knows the source of his stress and trauma is for the most part confidential and he tells himself he’s doing it for your own safety and protection. when he does open up by his own volition, he keeps it brief, spares most of the details, his composure rarely falters and he’s itching to move on from the subject. you’ve never seen him cry :(

[lxvebun]

whisper of the heart

synopsis: genshin boys voicelines about you!

content: Kaeya/Ayato/Xiao/Heizou/Gorou/Arataki/Zhongli x gender neutral reader (so they/them pronouns used) Fluff! Mentions of kissing. Slightly possessive Ayato and Zhongli (but still healthy ofc) English is not my first language so I'm sorry for any mistakes.

dark blogs, k¡nk and ed blogs do not interact or lose all your 50/50s and I will also knock your teeth in<3

Kaeya

About y/n:

"Ah so you've met the lovely Y/n already. I'm not surprised they're quite hard to miss. Such a radiant smile and kind heart. I've had to fend off many people that were ready to throw themselves at them. Why? Well, because they are with me of course! What, you into them as well?"

About eyepatch:

"Y/n is one of the few people who have seen me without my eyepatch. Hm? How did they respond? Well, they didn't. I appreciate that. It makes it a lot more tolerable to walk around without my eyepatch knowing that what's beneath doesn't make a difference. What's beneath it? Wouldn't you like to know"

About vision:

"Did you know our visions are in tune with our emotions? There are plenty of fingertips and footprints scorched into the walls and floors of the dawn winery hehe. I sometimes unintentionally freeze parts of items I'm holding. Now that we're talking about it, it always happens when y/n enters my view...how strange"

Ayato

Possessive ayato? Possessive ayato

About y/n:

"Y/n? Did Thoma tell you about them? I'm not surprised. If Thoma is not around the estate you can be sure he's feeding the stray dogs and cats with Y/n. I wish I could join them but alas I'm needed elsewhere most of the time. If you'd like, I can ask y/n to go feed the dogs and cats with you sometime. But remember as lovely as they are, they are indeed my partner, so don't get any ideas"

About free time:

"As head of the kamisato clan, free time is not something I have an abundance of. Once I finished one pile of papers, Thoma is already handing me the next *sigh* It can be tiring but my dear y/n is able to make those long days a little easier. Just seeing them smile energizes me. I often request them to stay with me a little while longer when I finish some papers. I wouldn't know what to do without them"

About vision:

"Visions are indeed in tune with our emotions, though it's rarely visible to others since they're not quite spectacular. I have noticed I subconsciously start creating little water flowers on y/ns skin whenever we have some sort of physical contact. Many times when we are holding hands, they start building up along their arms. Im glad Y/n doesn't mind, they are quite pretty and I can't say I hate it when I see them walk around Inazuma adorned with my flowers.

Xiao

About y/n:

"Y/n? Yeah what's with them? Do I know them well? I do they are, ,,they are my partner. Don't look so surprised! I can't believe I'm deserving of them either."

Kiss him rn:(

About flowers

"Y/n and I often go flower picking through Liyues mountains. While I don't know where they get the energy to race from mountain top to mountain top, as long as it makes them happy, I'm happy. That said, the flower crowns they make are quite beautiful. Do I wear them? Of course."

About vision:

"I've learned to control most of the elemental energy originating from our visions but, as embarrassing as it is to say, i've lost control of them multiple times around Y/n. there have been multiple occasions of anemo whisps dancing around them or *sigh*, dashing into them when I desire physical contact. They think it's sweet but...nevermind, I suppose that makes it alright.

Heizou

About y/n:

"Ah yes Y/n! They are quite lovely don't you think? You know, the first time I met them something inside of me just knew they were my soulmate, and unsurprisingly I dreamed about them that night! Once I finally managed to talk to them we immediately felt the spark. We've been together ever since :)"

About cases:

"Although I'm good at solving cases, if I do say so myself, I do like requesting Y/n to help me. Of course, I’d never take them with me on dangerous cases, but the more ahem peculiar ones such as " a certain Oni has been seen walking around Hanamizaka challenging children to onikabuto duels' ' it's fun to bring them along. "

About visions:

"Ah yes, every user's vision is in tune with their emotions. Mine are a little more controllable than most users. Sometimes little puffs of air flow from my fingertips, Y/n enjoys it when I'm stroking my hand through their hair or giving them a gentle breeze on a hot day. Gotta be careful I don't accidentally make the flow too strong tho"

Gorou

About y/n

"Oh you have met Y/n? Well, what did you think of them? They’re sweet right! They told you about us? No no I don’t mind! I just didn’t expect them to be so open and excited to tell you. I know it's wagging Stop looking at my tail!"

About headpats:

"Though many try, I don't let anyone touch my ears, or my tail,,,except for y/n of course. Many times in the past, when I was younger, people always tugged on my tail or pinched my ears so I was really nervous when Y/n wanted to touch them. I'm glad I let them. They're always soft and delicate with any pets and it feels good to know they like me for me and everything that I am. They also know the exact right places to scratch!"

About visions:

Shirou is the lil dog with gorous skill btw

"Lets not talk about that. There have been an embarrassing amount of times where I had to hold back shirou  from pressing a plethora of kisses to y/n's face. He only does that when I'm holding back on affection. Not because I don't like it! more so because I get nervous, but now it's either breaking through that nervousness or getting a leash for shirou.."

Arataki Itto

About y/n:

"Haha I see you’ve met my number one! They’re great, they are always up for onikabuto fights, they get along great with granny even the gang adores them? Jealous? Why would I be jealous? The gang, no no they wouldn't try anything, I mean yeah y/n is great and sweet, kind, admirable, strong…..perhaps I should have a meeting with the gang, just to be sure ya know"

About being an oni:

"Hey hey hey what do ya think about my horns! check it out freshly painted by the lovely y/n haha!! Yeah, y/n always paints my horns! Sometimes I just let them decide what color they're going to be, even walked around with pastel pink ones for a while. Im glad that they're so comfortable with me being an oni. the differences in size, strength and well the horns of course can scare quite a few people off or archons forbid make them start throwing beans AGH. Not my dear y’n though! even if I accidentally poke them with my horns sometimes, they still press a kiss to them each moring:))"

About visions

"Sometimes, I think Ushi likes y/n more than me. I know right! They’re always cuddling together which I mean they should be doing with me but anyways, or Ushi is sitting on their lap which is also my place....... but I like that they get along so well. Ushi has been my rock for a long time so it's nice to see them together.

Zhongli

I couldnt think of a vision one :(

About y/n:

"Oh you want to know more about y/n and me? Of course, i’d love to tell you about our story. My dear love y'n and I go a long long way back. Come sit down I will brew you some tea as I tell you about them"

About Morax:

"Though I have walked around in this form for a while now, some old habits are quite hard to shed, more specifically the hoarding and protecting of treasure. But I also think it’s a normal response to want to protect whats yours no? As you can see our home is decorated with little shiny trinkets that I found during my many years in Teyvat. Here! this a very special crystal I found a millenia ago, Dug it out of the ground myself. Of course you can touch it. The protectiveness? Oh that only happens when y/n is around"

Dragon!zhongli? Kiss me.

Thank you for reading bunnies!<3 I hope you liked it!

[doberbutts]

Feminist theory is not the same as feminist activism, which is what I specificied in my ask, intentionally. There is feminist theory about men's issues (yes Bell Hooks is by far the most famous theorist in this space), and that is good, but it is not the same as activism to improve men's conditions in the here and now. I wanted to give a different perspective, and have a discussion about something that I feel is a problem that has lead to and continues to lead to a lack of progress for men. I mean, the other ask you got saying thst feminism persistently centers men just by talking about our issues, that proves my point. That is an incredibly common view. Not even working towards solving men's problems, just talking about them occasionally is considered too much. There is an obvious solution to that, which I said previously. Regardless, I am and will continue to believe in the cause of fighting to improve things for both women and men, because we all deserve better. Anyway, I won't bother you anymore, but I hope you know this was written in good faith about something that is important to me.

Theory informs activism, so if you want to see feminist activism that does what I'm talking about, find the feminists talking about what I'm talking about.

Respectfully, despite referencing the other ask, you seem to have not read it if your stance is still "what has feminist activism done for men", because I gave pretty direct examples there.

But you're right. That sort of feminism is harder to find especially nowadays. A lot of people's feminism regards men as "ewwww boys are icky" and "men are 100% solely responsible for all of women's problems". Which was the entire point of my post that started this conversation. It's also compounded by the fact that a lot of times this doesn't look as big and loud as rallies and marches, and so it gets ignored. In reality, the feminist activism that follows the theory I'm describing looks like parents teaching their sons that gentleness and femininity is not bad. Dads who wear nail polish and tutus to support their sons' interests. Boys being encouraged to watch and read the "girl books" and "girl movies". Dads who do not abandon their sons' need for physical affection as they age out of fear of homosexuality.

It looks like restructuring the ways we look at sexual assault and rape so it doesn't automatically exclude the most common way men are attacked. It looks like teaching young men that they do not need to take abuse from a romantic partner or family member on the chin just to be a man. It looks like teaching men that "masculinity" does not need to be defined by stoicism and that the concept of "manning up" is harmful. It looks like teaching boys that there are ways to communicate affection that aren't violent or sexual in nature. It looks like teaching teenagers that playful ribbing is one thing, but tearing your friends down all the time so you can be the biggest man on the block is toxic behavior, and only leads to more isolation because all your friends learn to be mean to each other.

It teaches young men that pleasuring your partner involves more than just a penis, and sometimes doesn't even require a penis at all. It teaches them that their worth is far less in the length of their shaft or the hardness of their muscles or the number on the scale, but far more how they treat others. It teaches them that height and beard length and shoe size and how much alcohol they can consume or their favorite sport team aren't indicators of "manhood", because they are men regardless of the answers to any of those things. It teaches them they can be any type of man they want to be, they don't have to be what the patriarchy tells them are their only options.

And I know this, because I have watched plenty of my butch friends who are devout feminists and have been their entire lives teaching these things to their sons. This is established feminist theory that has existed for a long time. Many followers of this theory do in fact practice what they preach.

Genuinely, I don't really care what you call it. If you want to call it "man's liberation", go for it, I don't care. But to me, this is just feminism. I'm not going to call it men's lib because the feminism I was taught by the women in my life covered these things. Same as how I don't use the word "transandrophobia" because the trans theory I was taught by the trans women in my life told me "transmisogyny" covered these things.

Anyway. I urge you to go read some black feminist theory and then spend some time talking to practitioners of said theory. It might just surprise you how similar the conversation is. It might surprise you to see how their kids and families interact. I'm not saying all black people, because not every black person who is a feminist is specifically a *black feminist*, but when you find someone who fits this description you will know.

[melrosing]

What do you think of the Sansa bullied Arya take if you don’t mind me asking (just don’t answer if you don’t want to haha)

per my usual practice on Controversial Topics im putting this under a cut

At the real risk of that lot showing up in my notes again, I think this ‘Sansa bullies Arya’ pins their pre AGOT dynamic squarely on Sansa herself, rather than the way they are both being raised by the adults around them to behave towards one another. Sure, Sansa is mean to Arya sometimes during their childhood! We don’t have a lot of examples besides the oft-mentioned ‘horseface’ insults, but I think it’s fair to assume that more often than not, Sansa was looking down on Arya. Meanwhile, Arya herself feels inadequate and like she just can’t do anything right. She resents Sansa, but also worries that Sansa’s opinion of her may be true.

Fine. But where has Sansa’s opinion of Arya come from? Is it her cold black heart? Fucking no, it’s come from Septa Mordane, Catelyn, and whoever else surrounds them growing up. The men don’t seem to really give much of a shit how Arya acts because it’s not their business and she’s just a kid anyhow, but the women pointedly give many shits. In our first scene with Arya, Septa Mordane scolds her for not being good at ‘women’s work’, and there’s plenty to suggest that this is just another day in the life for Arya. Meanwhile, Sansa gets the carrot for excelling. Both Arya and Sansa are learning their own worth in this chapter, and the worth of one another. Sansa internalises the praise whilst learning that Arya is bad, and everything she mustn’t be. Arya internalises the criticisms whilst learning that Sansa is good, and everything she can never be.

They’ll be getting this from Catelyn as well. Catelyn clearly adores both her daughters, and will move heaven and earth to get them back in ACOK. But one good adjective for Catelyn is ‘dutiful’ - it’s in her house words, and it’s how she’s lived her life up to AGOT. Doing as she’s told, even when it pains her. She expects the same of her daughters, and finds those expectations satisfied in Sansa’s case, and apparently flouted in Arya’s. So again, from their own mother, Sansa internalises that Arya is bad, and that she, Sansa, is good. Arya internalises the same. If societal standards were reversed, perhaps it would be Arya lording over Sansa, but such as it is, it’s Sansa over Arya. 

Now, Sansa is a child. When children are told over and over that X is good and Y is bad, they generally don’t question it, at least until they're older and more experienced in the world. They will also parrot what they hear, often in graceless ways. Because they’re children. Sansa is told that Arya wilfully misbehaves because she’s bad, and so Sansa thinks: then I should look down on Arya. It sounds like Sansa mostly keeps her distance from her sister pre AGOT. Not always - they play together sometimes - but a lot of the time. She has internalised the teaching that Arya is an aberration, and as she herself knows the adults value obedience in girls, and she wants to please them so badly, the distance between her and Arya demonstrates to them just how good she is - she won’t descend to Arya’s behaviour. 

When Sansa does interact with Arya (pre Darry), we see her being a bit bossy - telling Arya what to do, etc. Sansa is replicating what she has seen the adults do with Arya, and is mimicking them to assert her own position as the good, obedient child. If Arya ever doesn’t want to do something, it can only be because she’s bad. 

[sidenote, it all really reminds me of these short stories me and my sister used to get read a lot as kids, called My Naughty Little Sister (lmao) by Dorothy Edwards. They're pretty old and I don’t think they ever got major circulation outside Britain, but for anyone unfamiliar, you can probably guess how these stories go. There’s an elder sister, good and obedient, who narrates short tales of her ‘naughty little sister’ doing terrible things like idk, making a terrible mess etc, and going ‘now I’m sure you [the child audience] wouldn’t do a thing like that!’ They’re supposed to be short morality tales for the children, and amuse the parent reading them aloud, who recognises the mischievous behaviour of the younger and is charmed by the haughtiness of the elder sister, who you can hear is narrating the incidents of her sister’s mischief with the disdain that she’s heard the adults do so, and is asserting her own good behaviour over said sister. And the whole fucking reason we were read these stories was because my younger sister was precisely the kind of kid who got up to all kinds of shit as a little kid (which now all of us find hilarious but DIDN’T AT THE TIME), and I was the elder sister like ‘my goodness how could she do such things as these!!’ (e.g. paint an entire bookcase with grout). It amused us both to see ourselves in the stories. You could say this was life imitating art, but I think this is simply an age old dynamic, familiar to many people with siblings: you would see how the adults spoke to another child in your family, and replicate their manner in an effort to come across as an adult. Except you weren’t an adult, so you weren’t always as graceful about it as they were. That is pre AGOT Sansa, to a T. And I’m sure that’s what GRRM, a child of three who had two sisters of his own, is replicating here.]

But I think there’s also a loneliness in being the ‘obedient child’. Doing as you’re told all the time can be boring, and living up to expectations is a lot of pressure. Sansa wants a companion in all that, but Arya has no interest in sharing in it. Arya is offering friendship, but from a place Sansa believes she can’t reach her sister - Sansa thinks she’d have to ‘descend to Arya’s level’ to accept it, and she can’t do that. You get a sense of Sansa thrilling in trying Arya’s ‘misbehaviours’ for herself when she quietly delights in behaving ‘as wicked as Arya’, but you see in this that she has to condemn such behaviours and herself for exhibiting them, all in the same breath. And in the end, I can easily imagine Sansa resents that Arya has more fun with their brothers than she ever does with Sansa herself: that the one sister she has is one she has nothing in common with. Sansa can’t find a like mind amongst her siblings, and so clings to Jeyne Poole, and the praise of the adults around her.

So with all that in mind, YES! Sansa is sometimes mean to Arya, and calls her horseface. That is because Sansa is a child, nobody is correcting her behaviour, and she understands that Arya is bad, and the way she behaves is frustrating to Sansa herself, so really what does it matter if she’s a little mean sometimes? She knows that she is good, because everyone says so. Even if she calls her sister a name now and then, she’s still the good child. 

AND THEN we get to Darry. And Sansa starts to see that society isn’t a song, and sometimes it doesn’t matter how good you are, horrible things can happen to you anyway. But she doesn’t want to believe that, because it would turn her world upside down, and her future would look a lot darker, too - Ned has not ended her engagement to Joffrey, and Sansa has to live for the foreseeable in KL. So when Arya doing the thing she ‘wasn’t supposed to’ (playing with Mycah) snowballs into a terrible miscarriage of justice where Sansa’s wolf is killed, Sansa rejects the notion that the songs could be wrong about beautiful princes, and shifts the blame onto Arya for that original 'misdemeanour'. The grief at losing Lady is terrible too (the wolves are meant to have a soul deep bond with the Stark children), and so the target of that grief likewise becomes Arya. What was previously a normal, childishly complicated sibling relationship gets twisted into something else.

This is where I think Sansa becomes different level of unpleasant towards her sister. She’s cruel about Arya’s loss of Mycah, tells Arya she wishes she were dead instead of Lady, etc etc. Arya is not giving as good as she gets here - she even tries to make amends with Sansa, but Sansa throws the offer in her face.

The reasons for Sansa’s behaviour are complicated, but not that complicated. She’s been raised to slot perfectly into this world, without ever being told what that world is really like. And when abruptly it turns out that what she’s being raised for is essentially the slaughter, she rejects it. She can’t see Joffrey as he truly is: she’s been told that princes are charming, that Kings are just, Queens are kind, and she herself will be a Queen. Sansa is going to be handed over to the Lannisters, and she’s going to live the song of her dreams, and the only thing between Sansa and the realisation of those is the thing that’s always been wrong: Bad Arya. Because again, if Arya isn't bad, then everything else is, and Sansa is in terrible danger.

No one is sitting Sansa down and explaining to her that Arya is not bad, just different from her, and that they should love one another - that there are dark forces here far stronger than them that could tear them apart, that the Lannisters are the greatest of them, and they have to fight together, not each other. Arya gets this talk, funnily enough, but not Sansa. Arya is asked to understand that Sansa is different from her, but Sansa is only ever taught to abhor that her sister as different from her. Where Arya is told to be wary of the court of King’s Landing, Ned leaves Sansa to continue her fantasies, and then, when he abruptly tries to put an end to them, he doesn’t bother to explain why. I’m not saying this is unforgivable on Ned’s part - he has a lot on his mind lol - but it’s quite obviously a major failing. Ned leaves Sansa in a fantasy world. It’s fucking Joffrey who has to step in and clarify for Sansa that actually, she’s been dreaming.

So as long as they’re together, Sansa is never able to come to terms with the fact that Arya was not the aberration, but rather, everything else was. In the absence of one another, they cannot reconcile over that fact. So yes, GRRM says they’ll have deep issues to sort through when they meet again, but those aren’t going to be the times that Sansa called her ‘horseface’ - they’re going to be about what happened since they left Winterfell, when their relationship was twisted by forces much darker than Septa Mordane. 

So no, I think the ‘Sansa is a bully’ diatribes are seriously tedious, because even if you want to insist that calling your sister ‘horseface’ a few times even qualifies, you can still accept such wrongs without deciding that that makes Sansa a fundamentally unkind person who cannot be reconciled with Arya and doesn’t deserve to be. It is on the page that the two of them miss each other. Like I genuinely cannot imagine going through everything Arya does in the story and then, upon reuniting with a sister I thought lost forever, deciding I’m actually still mad about the things she got wrong as a child that she herself has paid dearly for, both physically and emotionally. Like jesus fucking christ man. By all means let them talk about it!! But who do you think Arya is lmao

Tl;dr: Sansa is a kid in a society. She is not the arbiter of Arya’s place in society. She is not mean because she’s cruel, but because she has internalised the exact same things that Arya has, based on the example of the adults surrounding them. It just happens that those things were a carrot for Sansa and a stick for Arya. But then in the end, they weren’t a carrot for Sansa either.

tl;dr 2: clarifying once again - i am a jaime stan. i find the stark sister relationship interesting bc I have experience of a similar sisterly dynamic and find it interesting to see a version of that explored on the page. so if you think one has to be a sansa stan to observe all this then that kind of just demonstrates how dichotomous you've become on this issue lol like if I'm talking about takes I dislike re JB I don't generally feel the need to attribute them to JC fandom. let's all grow up x

tl;dr 3: no i don't hate sansa or arya, since i know these are both conclusions various people reach whenever i even mention these two. in fact i think they are both great girls! imagine

[drdemonprince]

Hey, I just wanted to thank you for your honesty and willingness to explain how queer spaces can be a lot less transphobic than discourse within the trans community can make it seem. A lot of the past few years for me have been spent closeted out of fear that reactions around me would be uniformly hostile. Things are obviously going to be different for me as a transfem, but I have a much easier time being optimistic now!

I am so glad! Listen, the people who post online all the time about how miserably hard it is to find a place for oneself as a trans person create a kind of reverse survivorship bias. They are the people who have already convinced themselves it's best to forever remain closeted or that forging any kind of accepting community for oneself is impossible. Often, they are also people who once harbored unrealistic fantasies about just strolling up one day into a pre-existing community that was perfect for them, not realizing that we must form our relationships painstakingly one by one (it tends to be the white eggs/unhappy lonely trans people who are most prone to thinking of community in that way). there's plenty of trans guys who are doomers like this too and they really tend to actively encourage one another to remain locked away. it's like incel kind of behavior when it's taken to its most extreme form. sometimes, it can be outwardly really nasty homophobic shit too (especially among "afabs" who complain about "cis gays" never accepting them and being super privileged). in its milder form, it's just extreme trauma brain.

The people you do not hear from so much are the people who are busy out in the world going on dates, acting in plays, getting their asses spanked in dungeons, playing tabletop roleplaying games, and going to farmer's markets with their three also transgender wives. Those are the people who know (that is to say, have learned!) how to interact with their fellow queer people, have spent some time out in the community, and in all likelihood have many rich friendships with cis lesbians, cis gay men, enbies, asexuals, bisexuals, straight ish poly people, and everybody else under our big umbrella.

I don't want to be overly pollyannaish because of course trans people have a tough time, and especially trans women have unfortunately to be on the lookout for really vile transmisogyny. But I think when people are wounded and traumatized by these things, they sometimes make the entire world sound incredibly unwelcoming, which creates a self-limiting feedback loop of isolation and mistrust. That is what trauma does! But it is not the truth. and we only learn otherwise when we give other people the chance to prove our worst fears wrong.

Like, just for an example, this Sunday I was at a silent book club at Dorothy, a gay bar on the west side that skews lesbian but is for everyone. I'd never been there before but it was an absolutely charming experience! Dozens upon dozens of lesbians draped over couches and curled up in chairs with their books, quaffing cocktails, alongside a few random dots of gay and/or trans men. Trans women were just a natural completely unremarkable feature of this environment. I couldn't even tell you how many t girls were there. It would be like counting plus sized girls or butches at this lesbian function. If it's a good lesbian function, there's gonna be a diverse crowd and it won't be weird or a big deal to anyone, they'll just be like any other women there. a lot of the big lesbian events here in Chicago (like Strapped) are organized by trans women, so of course there's a robust trans femme presence there.

And all of these groups at this function were getting laid. the couches were overflowing with women, so many that girls were grabbing pillows to sit on and huddle together with their books on the floor. Girls canoodled and cuddled on couches. I saw a cis alt girl covered in facial piercings flirting with a very prim and proper trans girl who was dressed like a victorian governness. they didnt know one another, but after the silent book club hour was done, they left for a while together, then came back with some food. across from me and my friends, i watched them gathering up on the couch, the space between their bodies slowly closing up into nothing over the course of the evening. they flirted and touched and then left the bar together to (and im no expert on body language but i could pick up on this one) fuck eachothers tits right off.

and of course plenty of other lesbians and wlw paired off or tripled off and had their fun too. again, just like steamworks, fat people, thin people, black and brown people, white people, disabled people, neurodivergent people, trans people, older people, younger people, everybody was there. like any good queer space, it was just a reflection of humanity. there is always more that can be done to make these spaces more broadly accessible to full community. but part of that is by putting ourselves there.

again i dont mean to make it sound like finding and making one's space is easy! especially not for trans women! but I also don't want people to get seduced by the hopeless jadedness that some foment online. there are spaces that some trans women I know will never go to -- even an explicitly trans affirming bookstore like Women and Children First gives many trans women I know bad vibes they cant quite explain but all feel (the store is owned and run by old white cis lesbians, it's not surprising to me that it's a little fucked no matter their good intentions) -- and ive heard people say transmisogynistic stuff at events, particularly from "ill date anybody but cis men" type t boys (my brothers, i hate you). shit can be tough. very tough. but also, the world isn't all uniformly as hostile as it's made out to be. there are people who are desperate to meet you. I hope you will come out to find them.

[sepublic]

Yknow, I’m kinda relieved and grateful and impressed, that they didn’t go the route so common in fanworks of Luz being Amity’s therapist in their relationship, and that being all she’s good for in making Lumity solely about Amity’s development; Like obviously, I love the tenderness of Luz, as this girl who truly was the catalyst for Amity’s growth, as a person she could always count on to be herself and lower her guard around. Someone who would comfort Amity and whom she could trust, but like;

I’m glad they didn’t make it one-sided, and have Luz pull all the heavy lifting and legwork in their relationship. It’s not just mutual, it’s arguably the other way around with Amity doing more of the support for Luz, although Luz’s impact on catalyzing her arc can’t also be forgotten either. With how Amity tries to get Luz to open up about her mom and then dad respectively... It’s very mutual and healthy.

And I feel it reminds the fandom to give Amity some more credit; She’s not as weak and soft as we might make her out to be, she’s capable of providing the same love for Luz that she herself needs! Even when Luz rescues her from Odalia, we see Amity apply her admiration of Luz to form her own resolve to escape before that; Which leads to Amity standing up to her mother! Luz isn’t just saving Amity, she’s giving her the opportunity to save herself; Amity already has plenty of personal initiative to be better and stand up to her parents, on the basis of morals alone! Luz can count on Amity to rescue her from a predicament, too.

Not to mention Amity being allowed to re-cultivate her relationships with her siblings, Alador and Willow; Ensuring she doesn’t exist solely to take in Luz’s love and support while only being her girlfriend. Her life and sense of right and wrong doesn’t revolve around Luz. It prevents Lumity from becoming potentially codependent, and it’s refreshing to see how Luz can actually cause issues in their relationship, not the other way around with Amity constantly caving in to her parents like in fanon. Not only does it hearken back to how Luz admittedly was a disaster magnet for Amity and made her mistakes in S1, it also continues that nuanced dynamic they had from the start, where Luz does sometimes cause problems and Amity has valid feelings, rather than just being the meanie with the sole burden of apologizing and learning from her actions.

And it realistically frames Luz as not being this perfect, do-no-wrong hero; She makes mistakes! She can be a mess and a struggle to be around, it can be frustrating around her as it definitely was prior to Luz meeting Eda and King! It makes Luz compellingly flawed and not just this ideal protagonist. She’s still learning and it’s nice to see Luz be the one who occasionally still messes up, hiding things from Amity; Reaching Out even had Luz be a disaster magnet for Amity one last time, ruining the Bonesborough Brawl and causing some public embarrassment with Alador’s vocal intervention. Luz’s epiphanies are informed by seeing how she can sometimes hurt people!

It’s a realistic relationship but the problems aren’t contrived; And it gives Luz some much-needed love and opportunity to be herself, when Amity calls her out over that. To let go. Even if she doesn’t take it, she’s still receiving that love, and that’s something that I feel was underrated in fanon before S2 made it explicit; That Luz has a burden from always giving, so she deserves to receive just as much!

It’s not imbalanced where Amity benefits more from their relationship than Luz, she very much plays her part and we see how Amity contributes to Luz learning to open up. It’s not taking the easy, obvious route of just making Luz perform all of the emotional legwork for Amity. That’s exhausting, but we get to see Luz lean on Amity’s shoulder too; And again, it doesn’t infantilize Amity and gives her agency, which I respect Lumity and Raeda both emphasizing as a sign of respect and trust. 

Amity isn’t some helpless victim, some poor uwu baby for Luz to save, she’s not a damsel; She’s also a hero to Luz just as much as Luz was to her, and it frees up Lumity’s relationship from fitting each girl into a particular ‘role’ like the ‘strong one’ so to speak. It’s not just little or big spoon, and it reminds us how vulnerable Luz is despite her loud and boisterous personality. That pain deserves credit too and I really respect this choice to let Luz lean on the shoulder in S2, instead of making her just Amity’s therapist; It’s a good service to both girls’ characters, and honestly a precedent we should all take cues from. They each reached out to the other; Luz already did a lot encouraging Amity to be herself again in Season 1, now with Season 2 Amity returns the favor and encourages Luz to do the same. Season 3 is likely where it’ll all culminate...

[soapoet]

PJO pick-a-card reading

Luke Castellan; A message from above

Soapy scribbles: I opted to format this topic as generally as possible since we all hold various different beliefs. Whether this message comes from your spirit guides, angels, higher self, God, any deity, ancestor or passed loved ones, or anything beyond my comprehension, is for you alone to know based on how it resonates with you. I am just the messenger and it is no business of mine who your particular sender is.

01.

Shufflemancy: Travelling by James Spiteri

You're coming out of a period of stagnation. Either delays entirely out of your control, or the sheer lack of motivation has kept you at a stalemate unable to proceed with your plans. You have found comfort in distractions aplenty. A seemingly never-ending cycle of avoiding the next step because it appears so very daunting, then being overcome with guilt and shame, which you again run from, chasing anything and everything which would put these feelings at bay. Now the first step looks less frightening, and you may feel more motivated to journey onwards.

Growing pains may feature, but you are able to handle them well. You may feel inclined to keep secrets, especially regarding your endeavours. This will prove beneficial as it reduces pressure, you now have nobody to hold yourself accountable but you, and you avoid the urge to run away should anybody dare inquire about your progress. Push yourself forward, as unnerving as it may be. You will quickly notice how light you are on your feet and the distance you can go when harnessing the dopamine from simply overcoming this fear.

Do not be too hard on yourself or expect to run a marathon. A little progress is better than none, but do not use busy work as yet another distraction. You have great gifts and plenty to share with the world, and you are destined to inspire others with your achievements and your accolades. As much as you detest routine, try to keep even a small one. Do a little bit every day to inch yourself closer to your dreams. To avoid feelings of uncertainty and your fears of failure, set aside time to sit with yourself in silence and ask yourself why you want this, where it will lead, and why that is where you want to be and what you hope to achieve, the life you wish to lead and what legacy you wish you leave. Remind yourself of the answers to these questions whenever motivation begins to evade you on your journey.

Sometimes a writer can only muster a sentence, perhaps one they will later entirely eliminate, yet they did something. And sometimes all this writer can do is stare at the manuscript before them and give of themselves nothing. Yet they did something. They got up to look at it rather than wince across the room and refuse to rise to the occasion at all. Celebrate even your smallest victories and allow yourself a cheer when you muster even the slightest effort. Do not expect perfection of yourself and know that many before you had to go through trial and error, and learn and adapt along the way. That is perfectly okay and you do not need a doctorate straight out of the womb to be good enough.

02.

Shufflemancy: Kiss the rain by Yiruma

You must cease this pattern of giving up your energy so easily to so many who are not deserving of your time. When bad news arrive, it is fine to feel whichever way you feel, but anchoring your emotions to this negativity will suck you dry of the life force that you need to shine. You are allowed to have boundaries and you are encouraged to enforce them and guard them closely. Those who would trespass should know punishment swiftly. Do not tolerate things you do not tolerate truly. Do not quietly hope unfortunate things go away and that people notice your discomfort and stop what they're doing that is harming you.

Stand up for yourself and make your thoughts and feelings heard. It is also not your duty or responsibility to translate a simple no or a stop to people wilfully ignorant and always finding a justification for their words and actions. No is a full sentence. Anybody who fails to internalize this fact and look in the mirror to reflect and to change any behaviour that's lead them to ignore this simple command is not a headache to take as yours. You should be unapologetic in your selfcare and demand space when you need it. Set aside your fears and shoo away any prowling feelings of shame and guilt. If you would be happier alone than in bad company, seek solitude and cut off what no longer serves you.

There are lessons some learn only upon a collapse. You may pray for a change of heart and hope for the sun to shine again, but you do not need to weather storms that are not yours to experience. You're not a bad person for stepping back and saying enough is enough in a situation that only causes you distress. Those who need help must want it and ask for it. You can promise to be there when they're ready and aid in their recovery, and still express to them the grief that they have caused you. Sometimes people need to be faced with the harsh truth. The pain and the agony and sleepless nights which they have brought upon you and others and be shown they could truly lose it all lest they stop and strive to do and be better.

If somebody truly needs help and you do not have the heart to abandon them, seek assistance. You need not be alone in a quest which requires more than you alone have to give. There are many sources of help and even more solutions once more hands are there to help, and you only have two and are allowed to seek extra pairs to aid you in this task. You are commended for your resilience and your kind heart. It may break and bleed often, and you must know that things will get better. These rough waters will calm soon enough and you will find peace.

03.

Shufflemancy: Ballerina by Yehezkel Raz

You don't need to run so fast. You have all the time in the world to make the changes that you want and need. Slow down and allow yourself to breathe. You have been much too hard on yourself and allowed everything outside of you to weigh you down. Shelf some burdens that were never yours to carry and make the choice to serve yourself for a change. Be gentle with yourself and listen to your own body and soul, and act according to that which is truly in your best interest. You are your own worst enemy when you let the beasts feed upon your negative self talk and your fixations on perceived failures.

Know that you have no more need for tips and tricks and new methods to your madness. You already have everything that you need, and no tool beyond your own consciousness is required. You could paint cathedral ceilings with just your imagination, so cease your struggle and let yourself be carried by the stream. Do not waver in your convictions, and do not let doubt lead you astray. Stick to what you know in your heart to be true and cast away every inkling of worry and fear.

You need to learn to let life happen to you rather than holding the reins so tightly you vitiate the opportunity to experience the present moment altogether. The present is all we really have, so try your best to cling neither to the past or the future. We all have regrets behind us, and wishes for the future, but it is the present moment which we truly have control over and get to experience.

Let go of any unhealthy dependencies you may have allowed to take root in your garden. Whether this is a person, a habit, or a situation, if it isn't doing you any good in the long-term, do your best to weed it out so that more energy may be received by the things you do wish to grow and nurture. If you feel unqualified to tackle some of this gardening, do not hesitate to ask for help and guidance from gentle people who will understand how delicate some situations may be. You do not need to tolerate fear mongering or unnecessary pressure, time constraints or misplaced ultimatums. Be direct with what you need and the tone and feel you wish to engage in so that you do not end up feeling cornered and threatened so much that you refuse any help at all in favour of protecting yourself from harsh criticism and judgement.