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ghostieagere · 6 months

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Lil idea;

Phantom wakes up from nightmares on tour, and goes small because he's scared. He got stuck rooming with Dew though who still isn't too keen on the new ghoul yet

Does Phantom wake him up for comfort? Does Dew let him come have a cuddle? How does Dew react to the other being small?

No pressure to fulfill if you don't want 🫶

oooh i love this idea, anons !! hopefully this is what you were hoping for <3 oh, and i've used the name phantom since that's what was in your requests :D (this one didn't quite turn out how i was expecting, but i hope it's still okay !!)

cw: nightmare, brief mention of (imagined) blood, some wonky descriptions of what's actually happening because of reality confusion, hot chocolate fixes everything, they/them phantom

Phantom doesn't really know what's going on. Everything about their movements feels almost soupy, as if they're walking through jelly or wading through the water of the Abbey's lake. They can't be in the lake though. Everything's hot, too hot. It reminds them of their summoning, choking on the ash that swirled around them, catching it in their lungs until it made a home in the alveoli there and altered their breathing permanently. It's not until they hear the echo of Sister Imperator's voice through the smoke and fog swirling around them that they realise it doesn't just remind them of their summoning, it is their summoning.

Immediately, they panic. They've already lived through this, it shouldn't be happening again! Did they get sent back to Hell? Is it because they weren't good enough? Why are they being summoned again? Why would anyone summon them again if they were such a failure? Why does everything feel so fuzzy? Why can't they breathe?

The quintessence ghoul jolts awake breathing heavily, completely and utterly confused, panicking internally. Wherever they are now, it's as dark as their summoning and they still can't breath, but at least they don't feel quite so soupy anymore and the air around them doesn't seem to be filled with smoke either. It's not quite so hot either. Well, everywhere except their cheeks, that is. When they go to touch the heat searing their cheeks, their hand comes back wet. Immediately, they panic again. It's too dark to see the liquid on their fingers but it must be blood, they must be bleeding. Maybe that's why they can't see, their eyes are bleeding and stopping them from being able to see what's happening around them.

A soft snore to their right makes them whimper in fright and wrap their blanket more tightly around themselves. Someone is in the room with them. It sounds... a little bit like Dewdrop, they think. Phantom doesn't know how to feel about that.

They'd never admit it out loud, but Dewdrop is scary. He liked Aether a lot, and because Phantom's taken his place, Dewdrop doesn't really like them very much. At least, that's what Phantom thinks. They don't think it's because Dewdrop's shy like they are, so the next logical step is that he mustn't like the quintessence ghoul very much. Another snore from Dewdrop makes Phantom flinch and whine again. Every new noise they hear has them wondering if they're still in their dream—they can still feel the ash in their lungs and the heat of the fire on their face—and they want comfort from it, but they don't think they're quite brave enough to walk to Swiss' room and ask for help. Come to think of it, they don't even remember which hotel room Swiss was assigned this afternoon anyway. Even if they could, they're all staying in some kind of bed and breakfast, so the doors don't have numbers on them.

They take a shaky breath and look over at Dewdrop's sleeping form. He's facing away from Phantom but the little quintessence ghoul can see his back rising and falling slowly with every breath he takes. If Phantom wants help, they're going to have to ask Dewdrop. Going to have to call up all that bravery Swiss says they have deep inside their chest and wake Dewdrop up to ask for his help.

Phantom takes as big of a breath as they can manage to psych themselves up before they throw off their blankets—keeping one wrapped around their shoulders to keep themselves warm—and makes their way over to Dewdrop's bed on shaking, wobbly legs.

"Dewd'op. Psst, Dewd'op you godda wait up."

Dew groans and rolls over, eyes still closed, barely processing what's happening around him except for an incessant shaking of his shoulder.

"Dewd'op I– I hadded nigh'mare. Wad sca'y. You godda wait uuuuup Dewd'op!"

Slowly, Dew opens his eyes and takes in the sight before him. Phantom standing over him, a blanket wrapped around their shoulders, hair sticking up in every direction and tears running down their cheeks. Even though Dew's eyes are now open, Phantom doesn't stop shaking his shoulders or begging him to wake up.

When he sits up, Phantom gasps and tries to jump backwards but their foot catches on the blanket dragging on the floor behind them and they trip. The little quintessence ghoul lands on the floor with a thump and after a few seconds of delay, starts sobbing in earnest.

Dew immediately jumps out of bed and crouches down next to Phantom, cradling the little ghoul's head in his hands. "Baby bug, are you okay?"

Phantom hiccups and shakes their head sadly.

Dew hesitates and hopes it doesn't show on his face. He's so out of his depth here, not just with taking care of a little—in situations like this, Dew is usually the one being taken care of—but with taking care of Phantom. Dew's been doing his best to keep some level of distance between him and the quintessence ghoul this whole tour. He's been telling himself it's because he hates Aether's replacement and doesn't want anything to do with them, but deep down he knows that's not it. He knows that as soon as he spends genuine time with them, he won't be able to resist their wide-eyed charm and innocent and will end up—Sathanas forbid—caring for them. He knows this because it's exactly what happened with Aurora. "Do... Do you want to talk about it?"

The little ghoul just cries harder. "You won' un'ers'and me," they whine helplessly, wriggling their body and flapping their arms in frustration. "Bad at talkin' when 'm liddol!"

The fire ghoul rushes to shush them. "Baby bat, I can understand you perfectly, I promise. Okay?" He waits until they nod slowly, still sobbing and wriggling around as much as they can under Dew's gentle grip on them. "Now, how about we hop back up onto my bed and we talk about what happened in your dream, yeah? I'll keep you nice and toasty warm while you talk, bub. Promise. Does that sound good?"

Phantom sniffles and nods, doing their best to wipe at some of the tears in their eyes. "Da's good," they repeat shakily, holding their arms out hopefully and making a grabbing gesture in the fire ghoul's direction.

He tilts his head at them, evaluating. "You want me to help you up?"

"Uh huh. Uppies," they state simply. Well, Dew can't argue with that. He leans further towards them and lets the little quintessence ghoul to wrap their arms around his neck.

He lifts them up and walks the few steps backwards until the back of his knees hit the bed. Phantom lets out a surprised squeal and and buries their face in Dew's neck when Dew sits both of them down on the mattress by letting his knees give out under him without warning. The fire ghoul makes sure to kick his internal temperature up a notch or two now that he and Phantom are sat down as he scoots back to lean against the headboard and wraps the little quintessence ghoul's blanket more tightly around them to keep them warm.

"What was your dream about, baby bat?" He bounces the little quintessence ghoul on his knee as best as he can from how he's sat up on the bed. A small giggle bubbles up from beneath Phantom's tears.

"Uhm," they start nervously. "Gotted summ'ned... Wad hot an' fire an' didn' breev." Despite Dew's gentle stroking of their shoulder in an effort to calm them down, Phantom is beginning to hyperventilate again. "Wad sca'y, Dewd'op! So so sca'y!" They finish their statement with a terrified cry and bury their face into Dew's shoulder all over again, sobbing quietly.

Dew holds them tightly against his chest, nuzzling his cheek against the top of their head sympathetically. Their summoning was much like his own elemental transformation in a way—full of fire, ash and searing pain—so he likes to think he has at least some idea of the nightmares the little quintessence ghoul has been suffering from.

"Well," he starts, having taken note of the way Phantom had only grown more upset when talking about their nightmare, despite their insistence that it would help. "I think we need to find a nice distraction for you, hmm? What do you think about that, bug?"

The little quintessence ghoul nods slowly against Dew's chest, their breathing gradually evening out as they zone in on the sound of the fire ghoul's heartbeat through his pyjamas.

Dew smiles down at them softly in a way he knows he'll deny later on if they ask him about it and bounces them gently in his arms. "I think hot chocolate always helps with nightmares," he declares, standing up again with Phantom still tucked up in their blanket in his arms. "Should we go down to the little kitchen and make some, baby bat?"

He's already carrying them out of the door by the time the question leaves his mouth, but Phantom doesn't need to know that. Besides, their enthusiastic nodding lets Dew know that the little quintessence ghoul holds no objection to a bit of late-night comfort snacking.

He makes his way down the rickety staircase to the small kitchen area and sets Phantom down on one of the kitchen chairs as he does his best to navigate the kitchen in search of a milk frother and milk that's actually within its use-by-date. He finds fresh milk in the fridge, and although he can't locate a frother, he does manage to find a coffee machine hidden away in a cupboard with milk frothing attachments. It's not perfect, but it'll do. Especially at this hour of the night when Phantom's already almost falling back asleep in their chair.

To ensure he won't have to locate a first aid kit after a sleep related, falling out of their chair incident, Dew keeps talking as he potters about the kitchen, finding the hot chocolate powder, mugs and spoons in the unfamiliar kitchen. He'd overheard Phantom and Rain watching an episode of some kind of kids television programme, so he asks them all about that while he works. The little quintessence ghoul perks up immediately, waving their arms around in the air, blanket slipping off their shoulders as they talk excitedly about a dog called Bluey and the adventures she gets up to with her sister.

They've barely made it halfway through their jumbled-up retelling of the episode before Dew is draping their blanket back around their shivering shoulders and pressing the warm mug of hot chocolate into their hands. They gape up at him when they see the marshmallows floating in their drink.

Dew grins and presses a finger to his lips. The pack usually avoid giving sugar to Phantom when they're dropped, for no reason other than they tend to get a little hyperactive from a combination of excitement and the accompanying sugar rush. Dew doesn't mind having to deal with their high later on though. Besides, he thinks they deserve a little treat after the terrible night they've had.

He takes a seat next to them after he's sure the little quintessence ghoul is as comfy as they can be in the straight-backed wooden chair they're sitting in and wraps his hands around his own mug of hot chocolate. As soon as Dew has sat down, Phantom launches into their episode recap once again, now struggling to wrap their words around a mouthful of fluid; Dew has to remind them to swallow before they run the chance of making a sticky, hot chocolatey mess all over their comfort blanket.

At the rate the little quintessence ghoul is talking and the first signs of early morning light peeking over the tops of the curtains in the kitchen window, there's a fair chance that Phantom won't get back to sleep until well after their ritual tonight, but Dew finds himself unbothered. As long as they're contented, warm and relatively unbothered by their nightmare right now, the fire ghoul is just happy that they're happy. If they really need it later on, the two of them can curl up for a nap in the back of the tour bus, but for now, they're content to sip their hot chocolates in peace while Phantom recounts their favourite episodes of this show they're clearly obsessed with and pulls their blanket a little more tightly around their shoulders, not a trace of worry visible on their face in the slightest.

#ghostie writes #phantom ghoul #dewdrop ghoul #regressed ghouls #nameless ghouls #the band ghost

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godbirdart · 8 months

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I don't know if this is a dumb question or not, but I always wanted to study my favorite artists and their art. However, I don't really know how to do it or where to start? Can you give any tips for that? Thanks for responding heh!

not a dumb question at all!! all artists do studies - it's one of the fundamentals you're taught in school! [most of the time, anyway]

a couple things i want to preface this with: we live in an era where art theft is a super-rampant problem. some artists are gonna be flattered you want to study them, and others are gonna have a kneejerk reaction that someone might be trying to plagiarize their work. it's an unfortunate reality, but it is what it is. if you're doing 1:1 art studies based on an online artist's work, unless you ask permission from that artist, or make it super aggressively painfully clear that it is indeed an art study, keep those studies private.

if an artist is prominent enough online and their fans recognize the work that you're studying, those fans may also accuse you of art theft on the artist's behalf; even if the artist doesn't mind / even if theft is not your intention. again - unfortunate reality, but this is the world we live in.

i don't want to scare you off from doing art studies! i think it's fair to say a large number artists don't mind if people want to do art studies based on their work - it's just a lot of artists are so conditioned from having to deal with people stealing their work and claiming it as their own that they may bite your head off out of habit.

BUT THAT ASIDE, there are a variety of ways to do art studies, such as:

1:1 reference, looking at the Thing and drawing it

Interpretation and application, applying the technique as you draw

Tracing [yeah i SAID IT. we'll talk about this below]

1:1 reference is straightforward. You look at the piece that you want to study, and you eyeball it as you try to replicate it on your own canvas.

this was drawn SUPER fast for this example image so greymon's gonna look wonky as i'm only half paying attention, but you get it.

next up, interpretation / application. if you've got a grasp on the technique, or are following a tutorial, here is where you apply it! depending on What you're trying to emulate, it can take dozens or hundreds of test runs to get the application down. try, try again. keep looking at your reference or following the tutorial. you'll get there!

again hurried sketches for this post, but here is Luger as a style study - specifically taking notes on how the character is Drawn [ie; the nose shape, the way the cheek fluff swoops up to the ear, etc] and applying that to the drawing.

Finally, Tracing. The age-old Forbidden Technique. Now, tracing comes with specific guidelines, and they include but are not limited to the following:

Tracing is a form of practice, but it is for the benefit of your muscle memory learning and should be treated as such.

Pretty obvious, but you should not claim traced work as your own original creation. Don't post traced work anywhere, offline or online, not even if it's labelled as an art study. Once you're done with it, throw it out. Delete it. Do not keep traced work. Deleting traces should be a mental checkpoint of: "okay, you've absorbed that information. now go grab a blank canvas and apply what you've learned".

If practising by tracing, it should be done sparingly. If you rely on tracing for every art study you're not gonna learn to draw it yourself; kind of like using training wheels for a bike. You may gain the muscle memory for how to peddle, but you're not going to learn how to balance unless you try it on your own.

an important note about studying an artist's style:

If you like an artist's work, it can be be beneficial to pinpoint the specific elements you like instead of the whole style. I say this largely because many growing artists try to emulate just one artist's work at a time. There's not really anything wrong with this, we all gotta learn somehow, but it CAN be the difference between developing your own style quicker, or unintentionally looking like you're ripping off your favourite artist. I'm not gonna get into "Style Theft", i really don't care to get into it, but if you're studying just one artist's style it can potentially be a detriment to your identity as an artist online.

While you're studying, pick out what you like about the artist's work. Do you like the way their lineart looks? How they shade? Is it a particular feature or way they draw something? Focus on those key elements if that's what's got you latched onto their work. It also helps if you can find tutorials or brushes that the artist may have used or that look similar to what you're aiming for in your own work.

All artists styles are an amalgamation of what's inspired them over the years; little bits and pieces of what they've learned from watching / studying others. at some point their style may flourish into something completely unrecognizable from their roots, but over the years you can see how they arrived there. Your style should be a celebration of your path of an artist! even if you aren't happy with your art now, it can only grow from here.

btw here are a handful of my study inspos - some of which I'm still studying even today! i take most of my inspo from animation.

i wish you much success in your art studies!!! ;w;

#long post #art #art studies

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neteyamsyawntu · 1 year

Text

And So She Danced with Death

Dark!Neteyam x Na’vi! Reader fic

👉Chapter 2

Disclaimer!: All canon characters in ATWOW that appear in ASSDWD are all aged up by 5 years.

Synopsis: You are mated to Neteyam before his death and the impact it had on you was catastrophic. Your entire world had shattered, but you couldn’t find it within yourself to dwell on mourning, making it an obligation to your deceased mate to take up his role in watch after his siblings. After a first RDA raid on Awa’atlu, Neteyam has been resurrected by the RDA now being mind controlled to fight against his family and you. After your first encounter seeing Neteyam back from the dead, you know that he isn’t his true self… maybe there is a way to bring him back.

WARNINGS: angst, SOO much angst, choking, mentions of death, near death experience, evil Neteyam

(I wrote this up on my iPhone so I apologize if the spacing between paragraphs is a lil wonky)

A piercing ring filled your ears, your vision slowly coming back into focus as you took in the sight of Awa’atlu ablaze. You blinked rapidly wondering if maybe your eyes had betrayed you, not wanting to believe the reality you were in, when the sound of screams began to materialize in your ears along side a muffled voice that seemed close by. With a sudden tug at your bicep, you whirl your head around to see Neytiri frantically trying to pull you up, Tuktirey cradled against her chest.That’s when it all became clear. This nightmare was real, and if you didn’t act fast you would die.

Finally realizing Neytiri’s voice screaming for you to move lit a instant fire in you to get your family to safety. You sprung to your feet, grasping onto Neytiri’s shoulder for support steadying your balance, “Come child! Come!” She pleaded, tugging you along. Ahead of you, Metkayina na’vi were frantically gathering their families and diving into the ocean for protection to get as far away from the flames as possible. You noticed amongst the commotion was Lo’ak guiding Kiri, Tsireya, and her family away from their burning home. Your eyes quickly looked behind you as you pulled away from Neytiri’s grasp, scanning the burning marui for any sign of Jake or Spider, who you had noticed wasn’t in the retreating group. You then spotted an air ship hovering above the water, which seemingly had been the one to deploy the attack on Awa’atlu. Jake must be there. “Y/N we must go!” Neytiri yelled to you attempting to grab your arm once more, to which you ducked grabbing a discarded spear near by. “Go, get yourself and Tuk out of here! I will go help Jake”and with that you take off toward the ship dodging debris and corpses of fallen na’vi. As you neared closer to the ship you spotted Jake, taking cover under what looked to be a broken bridge to one of the marui. As you neared closer you heard a familiar voice and immediately ducked for cover. It was him, Quaritch the leader of the recoms, “Come on Jake you know you can’t hide forever, I think we both remember last time you didn’t follow my instructions… still a shame about what happened to your boy” the faux na’vi sneered, cockiness dripping in his words. You grimaced, ears falling flat against your head as scenes from that day flashed in your mind. Neteyam, your mate, the life draining from his eyes as you held his face in your hands, trembling and sobbing uncontrollably.

Taking in a shaky breath you readied yourself to move forward, making eye contact with Jake signaling your intent. He nodded back to you, a pained expression on his face as he recalled his own events of that day. Clearing your mind of any distraction you surveyed the area for more weapons, to which you noted 2 more spears and a cross bow, abandoned in the sand. Taking one final breath and acknowledging Jake’s approval you lunged from behind cover and chucked the spear in Quaritch’s direction, aiming for his chest. Almost a near perfect hit, when he dodged last minute, missing your mark entirely. With a hiss you pick up the cross bow and gathered as many arrows as you could, taking cover behind debris while Jake made his own charge, firing his gun at his target, before following your lead and taking refuge behind another piece of debris. You huffed aiming your cross bow in the same direction as before and firing a shot that skimmed the enemy’s bicep creating a deep gash in the muscle. With an agonized holler Quaritch grabbed his arm, dipping to take his own cover. Quaritch commanded something over his radio, scooting himself further into cover. You took this time to move closer lifting the cross bow to strike once more. Before you had a chance to pull the trigger, a metallic arrow shot past your head with an audible woosh.

Shaking off the shock quickly you step back and aim your cross bow at the offender. That was the moment your blood ran cold. You immediately began to feel an ice cold sweat start to infest your body, fighting against the heat of the flames around you. There at the entrance of the air ship, tail lifted high into the air in defiance, muscles flexed as his body readied for another strike, braided hair shaping his strong face. It couldn’t be, your eyes must be playing tricks on you, but then you noticed his own eyes staring into you, the same deep gold that mesmerized you so effortlessly. Yet they were not the same. Something was off. Those once soft eyes you held so dearly, now burned holes into you as if they were made of fire themself. His brow bone bore a heavy shadow over his eyes his nostrils flared. Your eyes then drifted to his lips, although most of his face was hidden by the strung bow, you could see his lips were pulled into a thin line. The same face he’d make when he was deep in focus, but it was furious. You’d never seen so much anger emitted from this… thing in your life. You knew that whatever it was, it wasn’t your mate. He was gone and dead. Whatever this demon was, it wasn’t your Teyam… it couldn’t be.

“Well I see you’ve met our newest recruit” you heard the same snide voice from your peripheral, “although I don’t think any real introduction is in order. Why don’t you come out and see your family, boy” with his bow still drawn, the phantom slowly made his way down the ramp, his eyes never leaving yours, “Neteyam?!” Jake called out as confusion and concern painted his features. This was the one thing that took the demon’s look away from you as he now aimed his weapon at his father, “Not expecting to see me were you father? It has been a while” he spoke with a low growl. Fury pouring off his tongue, but why you didn’t understand. If this really was Neteyam why would he be holding his father at ‘gun point’, eager to fire his weapon. “What did you do to my son?” Jake grimaced turning his attention to Quaritch who had now stood up to his full height, stepping next to Neteyam, “oh well isn’t it obvious? We patched him up. Times have changed Jake, you’d be amazed at what technology can do now. Even brining back old faces” he finished, patting Neteyam on the shoulder who didn’t even flinch at the contact. “Ma’Teyam…” you whispered to yourself in disbelief, loud enough for the clone to catch, causing his ear to twitch in your direction. Quaritch eyed you with a smirk then leaned into Neteyam’s ear, “that’s your woman right? Why not go say hi to your lover?” He mused before leaning away and crossing his arms. Neteyam eyed Jake before lowering his weapon, slowly shifting to make his way to you. Your heart clenched as you finally noticed the scar on his chest from the bullet wound. How? How had they managed to save him from something so fatal? You raised your cross bow higher as he drew near, he raised his hands a bit in surrender, “yawne..” he hummed longingly, yet you didn’t fail to notice his eyes were still glazed over in anger “DONT call me that!” You spat, as a tear emerged from the corner of your eye. You cursed yourself as you began to tremble at his presence, “you are not my mate, you cannot be him!” You hissed. Neteyam clicked his tongue as he inches closer to you, “my love I’ve missed you, please” he begged, a pinch of sincerity in his voice almost making him sound believable… if it weren’t for those eyes. “KEHE!(get back)” You ordered as you inched your finger over the trigger of the crossbow, but it was too late, he was too close now.

Neteyam took the opportunity to disarm you in one swift movement and knock you to the ground with a shallow punch to your gut knocking the wind out of you landing harshly against the sand. You could hear Jake calling your name as sparkles danced in your vision trying to catch your breath, only to be met with a fierce hand around your throat, the demon you’d now come to recognize straddling your waist, pinning you to the ground. Now you were face to face with him, you could truly see him. This wasn’t a clone, it was indeed your mate, back from the dead. You shivered under his touch as the control you had over your tears dissipated into nothing. Your lip began to tremble “Ma’Teyam..” you wheezed under the pressure on your throat, “Don’t call me that” he spat right back at you baring his fangs. You whimpered closing your eyes not wanting to believe the reality that was so plainly in front of you, “what did they do to you Nete?” You let out in silent sobs. He scoffed, causing you to open your eyes in disbelief at his reaction, “they did what none of you could. They saved me” he hissed adding more pressure to your throat, causing you to desperately claw at his hand in desperation as you began to feel yourself slipping away.

“NETEYAM!” Jake yelled from across the beach a choked plea, which earned a dark chuckle from Quaritch, “See.. I’m not a bad guy Sully. I’ll call him off if you surrender and come aboard willingly. You don’t have to loose another kid” he said with a tilt of his head, eyes focused on Jake watching for his next move. Jake gritted his teeth shaking his head lightly as he started to feel his own throat clench up, tears threatening to prickle his eyes, “Neteyam! Come on look at me boy, you don’t wanna do this.” He begged fighting for your life from the sidelines. Neteyam grunted trying to ignore the words of his father while your nails dig into his skin desperate to get air into your lungs. “Please Neteyam c’mon! If you do this, no matter what bullshit they are feeding you, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life! You have a choice!” Jake pleaded once more.

You whimpered up at the man above you, for a second you thought you witnessed a glimpse of conflicting thoughts played in his features, and as your vision began to blur you used whatever strength you had to reach your hand up to rest weakly on his cheek. For a moment Neteyam froze, the pressure on your throat weakening as he narrowed his eyes scanning your features, taking it all in and comparing it to past memories he had of you. He was going to stop, he was listening, you thought. From across the beach Jake, having given up with peaceful negotiating growled“fuck it” firing his gun at Quaritch landing a few serious shots. Quaritch fell back clutching a wound on his chest, the sound breaking Neteyam out of his trance, looking over his shoulder to witness the assault. Getting one last look at your strained face, Neteyam releases his grasp on you before bolting over to Quaritch, using the momentum to fall back and slide on his hip to get out of range and pull Quaritch behind cover, immediately putting pressure on his wound. Jake halted his fire rushing to your side perching your head against the crease of his arm as he lifted you into his lap, “I got you kiddo, I got you” he cooed aiming his gun with his free hand at his son and biggest enemy as a warning. Neteyam glared up at him, baring his teeth as he helped Quaritch to his feet, an arm slung around his shoulders “is the kid secure?” He asked Neteyam, eyes heavy from the loss of blood, “Yes sir, Spider is currently restrained on the ship”. Quaritch knodded in acknowledgment and with a wave of his hand motioned for them to fall back, with Neteyam immediately leading them back to the aircraft.

Jake ground his teeth together as he watched his eldest son leave with the enemy, his heart clenching at the sight. His brain raced with the question of how he would break the impossible news to his family later, but for now he focused back on you. As the aircraft took off, Jake tossed his weapon to the side, putting his ear to your chest to listen for a pulse. It was weak and your eyes slowly started to close, tears and dots both making your vision fuzzy. “No no no, come on kid stay with me. Don’t you dare go to sleep on me” he warned quickly adjusting your position to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation in order to get air into your lungs faster. With a handful of pumps to your chest and exchange of airflow, you soon released a strained cough as you let your lungs fill slowly with fresh air. Tears started to flow from your eyes once more as the realization began to hit all at once, “Shh shh I know baby girl, come on let’s get you out of here” Jake whispered in attempts to soothe your pain, carefully lifting you into his arms, making his way to the edge of the shore. You wouldn’t make it in water for too long, so with a high pitched “YIP” he summoned his ikran, who landed eagerly on the sand before you. Mounting with you laying against his chest, Jake swiftly made the bond and flew off the island to reunite with his family and the rest of the remaining metkayina. You weakly glanced down as you flew away from yet another home, watching the flames consume the marui below.

Taglist:

@tiredmamaissy

(Tagging you lovelies since you were part of post that started this, just lmk if you wanna be taken off it)👇

@neytris

@jakexneytiri

@jake-sullys-whore

#avatar #avatar the way of water #avatarsmut #neteyam #neteyam sully #avatar twow #neteyam sully x reader #neteyam x na'vi!reader #dark neteyam #love hate relationship

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arent-i-the-fairest · 2 years

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Can i request s/o blowing dorm leaders a kiss in public?

𝐬𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐨𝐨𝐨𝐜𝐡!

author’s note : i love this request!! ♡ it’s so cute. just as cute as how flustered some of these boys get by a simple kiss blown their way.

riddle rosehearts

(oh, you do this all the time to fluster him. and it works like a charm every time!)

riddle purses his lips and starts walking off to class with no response, as if he didn’t see it— but cater happened to be walking by. and just by seeing how embarrassed riddle looked, he was able to connect the dots.

— and yes, he told you about it. (though you probably already knew, given how your boyfriend does not know how to take flirting at all.) so now, riddle has not just you teasing him, but cater too. but he tries to swear up and down that he wasn’t flustered— as if he would get so worked up over some little gesture, hmph!

“i was not blushing!” riddle hisses. “cater, i’d appreciate for you to not go spewing lies, thank you very much.”

“you were too blushing, dorm head!” cater chuckles. “you don’t need to be embarrassed about it. you know why?”

riddle glares, eye twitching. “i’m not the slightest bit embarrassed, but tell me. why?”

“—cause it’s so cute, that’s why!” you jump in, placing your hands on his face. and he turns red all over again.

leona kingscholar

completely ignores you. it’s not that he’s embarrassed— he just knows you hate it when he ignores you. he wants to see you get all mad. why? because it’s hilarious. and cute. he also ignores every other little flirtatious advance you make at him following after it for the same reason of finding you annoyed to be funny.

but here’s the real kicker, right before you two have to part ways, boom, he blows a kiss back. and it’s always really hot. he just snickers, glancing over his shoulder to look at you just standing there, flustered and defeated.

he does this same thing pretty much every time you do anything flirtatious, and you hate it— but hey, two can play that game, right? you’ve just got to do the same thing when he initiates something. (spoilers : he hates being ignored even more than you do.)

“aww, is the widdle kitty mad that i finally gave him a taste of his own medicine?” you cackle, and leona’s frown deepens.

“yeah, yeah, whatever, get all your laughs out..” he mutters, resting his head in his palm.

azul ashengrotto

thinks he reacted in a normal, cool way, flashing you a charming smile and winking. when in reality? it was the total opposite of cool. his smile was all wonky and his face was red, and he didn’t even wink— he closed both eyes at the same time. he’s not good with handling your flirting, can you tell?

he gives reactions similar to this pretty much every time you do something flirty, and it’s actually adorable— but azul is still unaware about how bad his reactions are. that is, until the twins happened to catch sight of it one day and started clowning on him for it.

“ha-ha.” azul scoffed sarcastically. “this is just so funny to you two, isn’t it?”

the twins, right at the same time, nodded yes, and azul narrowed his eyes. he shouldn’t have expected any other response from these two.

“you turn as red as goldfishie does when he gets all angry, ahaha!” floyd taunts him and makes a kissy face, and jade could be heard chuckling in the background. azul clicks his tongue and pushes floyd’s face away.

“you think humiliating your boss is just such a great idea, do you, floyd?” azul huffs. you chuckle, patting his shoulder.

“don’t let them get to you, azul. i think your reactions are cute.” you smile, giving him a side hug. he freezes.

“wahaha~! look look, he’s getting all red again!”

kalim al-asim

immediately blows one right back to you and forms a little heart with his hands!! later on in the day, he blows one to you— then later, you to him. seems like a little blow kissing-war has started, and neither one of you are backing down!

everyone around you two are jumping between finding all the pda they’re witnessing (so… so much pda….) to be cute and cringe. but there’s the ones who exclusively find it cringe (prime examples being jamil, grim, and ace) and the ones who exclusively find it cute (prime examples being deuce and.. just deuce). but hey, you two don’t even notice a thing, you’re too wrapped up in the fun!

“i won today!” kalim beams. “i blew 15 kisses and you only blew 13 kisses!”

“13? i did 16!”

“nope, can’t fool me! i counted!” he laughs.

“fine, fine, you’re the winner,” you press a kiss on his forehead. “but i’ll win tomorrow, just you see!”

vil schoenheit

the act makes him laugh. he finds it incredible how bold you are sometimes. he won’t ignore you, but he won’t do anything flirty in response, as he’d rather not have someone see it, then have some gossipy article titled “schoenheit showing pda, indecency at it’s finest!” or something along the lines come out (；ω；)

— anyways, back on topic, he won’t ignore you! he’ll just give a little wave to let you know he acknowledged it. but for all the affection he doesn’t give you in public, he makes sure to make up for in private! (you’d be surprised how cuddly he can be!)

“i know you want to be pampered right now, but i’m a bit busy.” vil said, gently patting your head.

“you said you’d be free for a while though..”

“darling, you know how fickle my schedule can be.” he sighs. “but i suppose i could spare a couple of minutes to tend to you. the deadline for this is quite far… no, i shouldn’t procrastinate.”

your grin falls and he feels a pang of guilt.

“.. fine. just for 5 minutes, i’ll let you indulge. now come here.”

idia shroud

his heart rate goes up by like 100, he’s so flustered and starts panicking because he doesn’t know how to respond to you— so desperate to give any kind of response back to you before you turn away, he just throws up a thumbs up. then face palms.

(he may or may not think about this for the day and suddenly text you a paragraph at like 2AM apologizing for the fact that he’s “lame”—)

idia really wishes he was suave enough to just automatically blow a kiss back. or suave enough to just blow a kiss in general. and so now he’s trying to find an opportunity (and the confidence) to do it— and when he finally did, he felt a part of him die.

idia, right after blowing you the kiss, started speed walking— damn near running— to a more crowded area (something he’s never done in his life), hoping you’d lose track of him.

“that was so weird of me to do!!!” he hissed under his breath. “it’s over, they think i’m cringe, they 100% threw up in their mouth when it happened—”

quickly turning to glance at you, he freezes. ‘THEY’RE BLUSHING???’

malleus draconia

had absolutely no idea what the gesture you just made meant, and lilia had to explain it to him real quick— but now that he knows, malleus is oddly giddy and would also like to make cute little affectionate gestures to you!! probably doesn’t know much human ones though, so he just does fae ones.

—and of course, they’re all unfamiliar to you. god you’re so confused. you have to have lilia act as a translator.

(you tried to make sebek your translator at first, but his explanations were too complicated— what he could’ve explained in a single sentence, he turned into an essay. and they also all ended in rants about how lucky you are to have the great malleus showing so much affection to you :’))

“oh! there’s malleus over there!” lilia points out. peering through the sea of students in the hall, you grin when you finally see him and wave. he makes another one of his mysterious hand signals before walking off to his next class.

“hm, that’s a new gesture to me. what did it mean?” you ask your fae friend.

the corners of his lips quirk up before he bluntly tells you, “it signals deep love!”

#twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #gn reader #riddle x reader #leona x reader #azul x reader #kalim x reader #vil x reader #idia x reader #malleus x reader

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starcrossedreaders · 9 months

Note

Hi!! I really love ur leon fics and i was wondering if you could write a leon x poetic reader fic? Like Reader always writes in her book and leon always wonders what shes always scribbling about so then this one day he caught her writing in her book again and kinda snatches it off her bc hes so curious then finds out that shes been writing poems about leon? AAAHG Please I love poems and Leon so much

Thank you so much💕💕

Authors Note: This was a dream to write, thank you so much for requesting it. When writing this I pictured re2 and re4 Leon and a reader that you watch grow together over time. I would also like to apologize if the formatting is wonky, I didn't write this directly on Tumblr sooo...I hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Brief mentions of sex, a lil angst

September 13,

i’ve never seen eyes as blue as his.

i would never need a blue sky

If i was with him.

“Leon…” Shaking this beautiful stranger's hand for a heartbeat too long was never your intention but here you are.

Clearing his throat you finally let go letting out a nervous laugh as you step back. His voice was smooth as the words he spoke rolled off his tongue. “I’m really sorry about spilling your coffee. Let me make it up to you.”

You could barely hear him above the heartbeat in your ears as he spoke up again. “How about another coffee? You free Sunday?”

It took you a second to process his words “Uh- yea, yea Sunday works.” Stuttering was not how you wanted to respond.

A faint blush crossed over your face as he smiled back. “Great, Let’s meet down at the cafe at 9?” His statement was more of a question: a confirmation.

“Okay, 9 works great.”

“Great.”

“Great.” Leon chuckled and walked off as you awkwardly waved him goodbye.

Turning back you smacked your head a few times calling yourself stupid. “Great? Who the fuck says that.” Letting out a sigh you walked back to your small apartment.

September 17,

The bitter liquid seemed…

Sweet; with him across from me.

He would soon turn into my coffee.

Sweet, Addictive, caffeine.

He’s like caffeine.

Pure gold.

“So what are you studying?” Leon stirred the second scoop of sugar into his coffee before taking a sip and giving a slight nod in approval.

You made sure to take note of that before answering. “English Lit, with a business minor. What about you?” You ask as you take a sip of your own bittersweet drink.

Placing his mug down he shakes his head a little. “College is not my strong suit, I’m actually in the police academy.” He says with a prideful smile.

September 20,

His smile.

His smile makes me want to fall.

Fall like the shooting stars that scatter.

Down

Down.

Soon to make someones wish come true.

The ding of your phone brought you out of your reality of dragons and war. Sighing you placed your bookmark between the pages to see who texted you. Looking at the notification made you smile.

Leon: I had a great time on Sunday, we should do that again sometime. :)

You: We should, I owe you a coffee now since you paid.

Leon: I can’t let a beautiful girl like you pay for an insanely overpriced latte.

You: Quite the gentlemen you are.

Leon: It’s what I do best.

October 12,

Whoever said falling in love in October was a fever dream was right.

I was falling

And fast.

With my eyes closed tight

Heart firmly grasped I awaited.

Awaited that fall.

Awaited for the loud shatter

Broken bones and dried tears.

Stars scattered the night sky as soft music played through Leon’s Jeep speakers. His arm wrapped around your sent shock waves through your body as he rubbed his thumb back and forth. Your head laid over his beating heart as you guys lay in the back of his car, star gazing.

“That there,” He pointed to a cluster of stars. “Is the Cassiopeia constellations.” Leon’s heartbeat was steady as his voice reverberated through his chest.

“It’s also called the ‘W’ constellation because well, it’s shaped like a ‘W’.” He let out a small laugh before he continued. “She was friends with Aphrodite and was the goddess of Fantasy and of seas. She was a queen, a very confident one at that. She would go on and on about how her daughter Andromeda was more beautiful than the sea nymphs known as Nereids.”

His soft voice eased into your body putting you at ease as he went on. “Poseidon, the Greek God of the sea wasn’t very happy.”

“Aren’t sea nymphs bad though?” Your question caught Leon off guard. He wasn’t expecting you to be listening to his rambles.

“They are vengeful creatures. After Cassiopeia claimed her daughter's beauty was unmatched they felt insulted; hurt. So in return, they became vain creatures.” You hummed in understanding.

“Eventually, they went ravaging her kingdom, soon sending her to the stars.”

October 18,

It was once believed that Zeus,

King of Gods

Had split us, Humans, in half.

Cursing us with a life full of journeys to find our other half.

And I think I just found mine.

Leon’s hand smoothed over your leg as you sat in the back of his Jeep once again. Sitting in the trunk Leon sat at the edge swinging a leg outside of the car while you sat across from him, stretched out. The faint sounds of crickets talking filled the silence.

“Look,” Pointing at the sky you let out a big smile. “A shooting star.” Leon followed where you pointed in awe.

Looking back at him you felt all giddy. “What did you wish for?” Leon slowly brought his attention back to you.

His blue eyes shimmered in the midnight sky, the stars reflections looking right back at you. Letting a boyish smile through a faint blush painted his cheeks.

“You.”

October 28,

Who knew lips as soft as his could send fire to your bones.

With one kiss he melted me.

He had brought those bright stars to me

And made my wish come true

As i fell.

White knuckles gripped the bed sheets above you as hot breath fanned over your face.

“You’re doing so good baby.” His words were soft, cushioning the pain you felt.

Eyes squeezed shut a single tear ran down the side of your face. Trying his best to comfort you Leon opened your hands to hold them through it all, giving it three squeezes.

I love you. Opening you’re eyes you’re met with Leon looking back down at you with a smile. “There you are.”

Leaning down he placed his soft lips against yours, bringing you down from the stars.

May 5th

Nothing hurts more then watching you leave.

Leave the small apartment.

Leave the small city.

Leave the state.

Leave my life.

Leave my touch.

Leave my embrace.

“No Leon!” You threw your hands in the air. “How can I be happy and proud of you when you are leaving.” Tears brimmed your eyes and the world became blurry.

Leon stood up and hugged your for what would seem to be the last time in a long time. Kissing the crown of your head he rubbed your back as he mumbled. “I’ll come back. You know home is with you.”

September 26,

Home was…

Different.

He was different.

Broken, tired, scared, hopeless.

He was

gone.

“Come on Love, you have to eat.” Walking in the dark room, all you could make out was an outline of Leon’s limp body.

He’s been in this depressive hole every since he came back from Raccoon City and survived the incident. There was nothing more that Leon wanted to do then stay in bed with you, holding you. He was tired, so so tired.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed you rubbed his leg through the comforter hoping to bring any sort of relief to the hell he’s lived thorough; even if it was small. You frowned at his lack of response.

All you wanted was Leon back.

December 22,

He wasn’t coming back.

Not his old self at least.

I’m slowly watching him fade away.

Slipping through the cracks.

The only part that keeps him here is the metal wrapped around my finger.

“You’re home?” Quickly you closed your tattered-up leather notebook and stood up.

“Yea…I’m home.” Leon said suspiciously as you walked up to him and hugged him.

Leon hesitianly hugged you back before his voice vibrated between your bodies. “What’s in that notebook? I always see you with it.”

Eyes wide you pull back from the hug. “Nothing of importance.” You laughed nervously.

“Seriously love, it seems important. You keep that thing with you at all times, always writing in it.” He walked over to where you threw the book on the coffee table. “Ever since college.” He leaned down slightly to pick it up.

Rushing over to him you tried to grab the notebook but it was too late.

December 24,

I am yours,

The way the sea,

Belongs to the moon

Belongs to the sky.

I love you.

There is no limit to what I can give you.

Even when this world is long forgotten,

A whisper of dust between stars.

I will love you.

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Taglist: @hermizery @alewesker @ballorawan740 @lastaceylia00 @chunnies @d10nsaint@darklinxx

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ankles-be-bitten · 2 months

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i may have fallen victim to the curse of the Bad Aziraphale Take with this post, so i'd like to right my wrongs:

i still agree with this, however i would like to add some insight: the metatron is definitely orchestrating their falling out. he knows exactly what he's doing & he knows that he can't control aziraphale as long as he has crowley on their side--that's emotional abuse 101. the victim is isolated from their real support systems, and the only place they have left to turn is their abuser. i believe that aziraphale knows what he's doing, and that he's just going along with heaven as far as he can in order to protect his demon, but from the metatron's perspective things have to look like they're going according to plan.

i think... maybe this is only half true? not sure what i was thinking when i wrote this; it was late. whatever.

crowley is an optimist, but he clearly had his doubts about how aziraphale would respond, which is indeed based in reality. aziraphale doesn't have a great track record as far as assuming the best of him in the moment (which, i must add, isn't his fault. it is one of his flaws, however). i think the important thing is that he trusts aziraphale to do the right thing in the end.

i still agree with this. however, i want to acknowledge that i felt this was unfair at the time, but in retrospect i was ignoring aziraphale's dependency on external validation that crowley does not have. crowley is far more independent than aziraphale, and i acknowledged this, but i framed it originally as "crowley has an unfulfilled need," rather than what i now think it really is, which is that AZI has an unfulfilled need.

yeah, there it is. different people, different needs.

as far as it being strange that aziraphale didn't pick up on what crowley needed in that moment right away, i do still feel that way--sort of. i honestly at this point just want to pin it down to him being excited.

whatever you have to say can wait--we have all of eternity to say whatever we want, in complete security. we won't have to hide. we can be together. and he wants so badly to be together. that's literally all he wants. he wasn't even a little interested in returning to heaven until the metatron told him that crowley could tag along. this is manipulation 101, people! the metatron knows, or at least can intuit, that crowley wouldn't want to become an angel again. he knows exactly what he's doing to them. this is not a good faith offer.

most of the rest of that post is me rambling about my interpretation of aziraphale's actions and the reasoning behind them. feel free to read the full take if you'd like, but i don't believe it's necessary to break down the whole thing. it mostly boils down to aziraphale needs to see people as people before he can respond properly to their needs. i may or may not still agree with that, i'm on the fence, but if that is the case, it's 100% because heaven has conditioned him to be that way. you need to earn salvation, you need to earn love, you need to earn humanity.

i originally used job as a counter example, but he may actually be a paragon of this interpretation. if anyone deserves salvation, it was job--righteous job, level-headed job, job who lost everything but never, ever lost faith in the Almighty. if anyone has earned aziraphale's sympathy, it's him.

this is just a wonky take. he does care, or else he wouldn't be making the offer. interrupting crowley might have been selfish in the short-term, but to aziraphale, the long-term result is eternity together unhindered. they will have all the time in the world to be an us if they can only get out from under the watchful, dangerous, probing eye of heaven.

i think i was getting close to the point here, but i was still framing it from the perspective that aziraphale had woefully wronged crowley, and that he's not also a victim of the system here. i was in far less certain terms falling into the "aziraphale is naive" trap, when in reality he just wanted to be safe. as archangel, he can do as he pleases without fear of retribution. he has never, ever felt safe before--not safe to ask questions, not safe to be seen with crowley, not safe to run off to alpha centauri with him. blaming him for prioritizing crowley's safety is more than a little silly.

this is just... the ick. it feels like a whole other person wrote this. i am trying so hard to give myself grace for this absolutely rot-gut take.

yikes. yikes yikes yikes. i'm not sure anymore if crowley has ever expressed a pointed distaste for being an angel again; that may just be misguided on my part. somehow i'm victim-blaming both of them here, while also completely misrepresenting aziraphale's intentions. i'm falling into the "he doesn't love crowley enough/the way he deserves" trap, painting him once again as naive, blind, and selfish. oopsie daisy.

i still believe the kiss was an offer akin to the ox rib, extremely alcoholic breakfasts, what have you. it's possible crowley doesn't feel seen--i might even go so far as to say that that's likely--but not in the way i stated originally. he's heartbroken. he's devastated. he might even feel betrayed. but just because he feels that way doesn't make it the truth, and i think a mistake i've made throughout this particular text is mistaking how aziraphale's actions look from the outside for his actual intentions.

i think this was mostly right up until the part about azi being selfish. he's far from selfish, he's not even close to naive. assuming he made a mistake in the f15 at all, he absolutely knows it now. he will do anything it takes to be with crowley.

at the time of this addendum i think he's made a Plan™ and is trying to convince himself he's made the right choice. all will make sense in the end. or maybe it won't. we'll figure it out--some things take time, and we don't have all the information.

i do believe that about covers it. in summary, they are both victims and treating either of them like they're naive or stupid for making the choices they did is unfair because they're both doing the best they can with the information they have available to them. it's heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and really, really unfortunate. but it's neither of their fault. it's literally all the metatron. if heaven and hell were out of the picture, crowley would've been free to confess and aziraphale free to reciprocate--but that's just not their reality. everything aziraphale does is in order to keep crowley safe, in the interest of us long-term. crowley knows he has a hard time expressing himself, and so he wants to get it out fast, and that's valid; aziraphale having reservations due to safety concerns is just as valid.

it's neither of their fault.

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phoenix-downer · 3 months

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FFVII Rebirth Demo Impressions

I played the demo several nights ago and loved it! This post is about my thoughts/impressions as I was playing.

(Quick note: My shipping preferences are Cloud/Tifa and Zack/Aerith, so that is going to influence my perspective and what I write about. There will also be spoilers for the OG game and Crisis Core throughout).

One of the first things I noticed as I was playing through was the graphics. The graphics look fantastic. I can tell the game being on the PS5 is making a big difference. The jump in quality from Remake to Rebirth is really noticeable.

It's so weird seeing Cloud act like Zack. Like I KNOW it's Zack and it's creeping me out a;lksdjfdfj because it's just...so not Cloud. They knocked the "this is wrong" vibes out of the park by using Zack's mannerisms and gestures with Cloud's model slapped on top, and it's giving this uncanny valley feeling to everything "Cloud" does. Cody Christian even sounds more like Zack's VA (Caleb Pierce). The attention to detail with all that is excellent. The updated graphics give them a lot to work with in terms of showing the wonkiness with Cloud's memories.

There was also a clever shot in the truck of "Cloud" asking the real Cloud if he's okay, and you see a hint of Cloud's blond hair peeking through the helmet.

I liked the dramatic/heroic version of Sephiroth's theme that played. And when Zack gets hurt by one of the monsters, I think it was Cloud who made sure he's okay, which was a sweet touch. Also, the screen is tinted with green, which is a cool way to show the effects of the Mako poisoning on Cloud.

Another thing I noticed: Cloud's eyes look SUPER green, more so than in Remake. Don't know if it's the upgrade to the PS5 or if they wanted to show the Mako poisoning progressing, but I thought it was a cool detail.

Okay it's like Cloud swapped he and Zack in his memories directly at one point soon after they arrive in Nibelheim. I swear this is 100% what Zack would've said to Cloud about Aerith, but instead it's one of the "security officers" saying it to "Cloud": "So, any friends here you wanna see? Maybe a girlfriend? Speaking of which, I bet you're dying to hear about mine. Am I right?"

Lmao Sephiroth still has groupies, this is giving Crisis Core fanclub vibes and I'm all here for it. I'm glad the game still has those silly moments and that continuity with past games. It makes the tragedy I know will unfold later on that much more poignant.

Speaking of which, it's depressing seeing all the townspeople in Nibelheim knowing they're going to die. Just walking around talking to them, Nibelheim really feels like a lived-in place that Cloud has so many personal connections to.

An NPC asked Cloud if he's seen his mother yet, another one recognized me, and another couple of people noticed me and asked if I'm looking for Tifa. They Know™️

Also, it's really interesting seeing Cloud craft the welcome home he WISHES he had gotten. He wanted to come back to Nibelheim as a hero everyone praised, but the reality was much different. So seeing that contrast is a really good insight into Cloud's psyche and what he wants (praise, recognition, approval, etc.)

Oh found some cats, I'm glad there's another area dedicated to just cats ;aldjf; (complete with photographic evidence):

Awwwwww there was a sweet reference to Tifa leading the exercise classes for Nibelheim from Traces of Two Pasts, and she asks Cloud in the modern day if he was able to keep up with the class (she wasn't teaching this particular one, but I love that bit of continuity).

Tifa you can tell is nostalgic for Nibelheim hearing Cloud's recounting of what happened too, the voice acting and dialogue for this part is all really well-done.

The option to see Cloud's mom was really well-done. Cloud never went back to see her in reality, of course, which means his memory glitches out like crazy during this part: he "hears" his mother talking to him about a conversation that happened at an earlier time, like his brain is desperately trying to create something that never happened and is latching onto the nearest fragments it can find. I like how they translated this scene from the OG game, it gave off eerie vibes.

HE DID THE LIL SHRUG AND NOD LIKE HE DOES IN THE OG GAME if you try to enter his mom's house again after the "memory" is over. Also, it's like his mind is trying to protect itself from delving too deeply into a false memory so glitchy (and maybe he feels a deep level of guilt at not actually going to see her as well), and so you can't go back into his house, just like in the OG game.

You can have Cloud go up the water tower too, and he looks towards Tifa's window THE ANGST OF IT ALL a;lskdfj. I love those little moments of Pining™️

Tifa's like wait you went to my place?? Oh Cloud...you were such an awkward weirdo...

"Our reasons, huh? I bet most of them had to do with you." Barret shading Cloud for why he and Tifa didn't hang out more ;alkdjf again I love the humor in these moments.

Awwww Fluffy got mentioned! Nice to hear her brought up again.

"You went into my room?" I'm dead. Tifa sounds so indignant and rightfully so. It's weirdo behavior Cloud ;laskdfj

"You went through my stuff?!" Not off to a great start buddy, but I had him pick that option because I figured he ought to be honest. Tifa and Aerith both call him an asshole if you admit to doing it too, which made me laugh. And naturally my mind is wondering how this will impact the iconic date later on. Did I just piss both Aerith and Tifa off and lose affection points with both girls? Probably lol (and honestly, Cloud deserved it for that stunt).

Tifa's lil moogle plushie on her bed is adorable. I love the touches like that that make the environment feel more lived in.

Awwww I found Tifa's theme to play on the piano hehe. I love that that's the first piano piece you can find in the game. Just one of my favorite FFVII songs because it fits Tifa so perfectly and has this bittersweet sense of longing as well as this beautiful tenderness to it.

Also, I got a kick out of the piano minigame. The first time I wasn't great at it and got a C. I struggled to do both "hands" at the same time. I did it two more times after that, and it starts to sound really nice when you have a streak of a bunch of correct notes in a row. Like Cloud's going to town on the piano with extra flourishes. If you miss notes again though the metronome comes back on lol like "you still need to practice and get the rhythm down."

The second two times I got an A (I'll have to keep practicing to get a star and see what happens), and the gang praised Cloud, which I thought was cool.

Found more Sephiroth groupies and ran into Zangan in the inn. It was really sweet hearing Zangan praise Tifa so highly. Also, "Cloud" saying, "yeah right" when Zangan says "Tifa will go far" is another good clue Cloud isn't himself. Tifa was offended and Aerith was offended on her behalf. I love how Aerith keeps backing Tifa up on stuff, it's really nice to see more of their friendship.

The photographer dude is back and I love him. And he even says the same thing he said to Zack in Crisis Core about how he can't waste his film on Zack because he doesn't know who he is ;alskdfj. What's a guy got to do to get a little respect?

"You look so different" lol yes I do random villager because I'm not me, and then there are some nice creepy foreshadowing moments from her kids. The girl says, "Gonna beat those monsters?" and the boy says, "Gonna be 'em?"

The irony of the mayor saying he'd brag about Sephiroth visiting Nibelheim till the day he dies:

I still really love Brian Lockhart's design. He's like if the 70s met cowboy fashion, and it just works somehow. And this carries over from the OG game, but his concerns about Tifa's safety are well-founded given what happened when she and Cloud were kids and sets up future reveals in the remake trilogy nicely.

Also, Tifa is so small next to Sephiroth. I love her sass in this part of the story, and this time around there's some country twang banjo version of her theme and I love it. Also Sephiroth shaded the camera guy al;sdkfj;dskf but "Cloud" talked him into it and thus the iconic photo came into being. Again those moments of humor will never not be funny. And I loved how Tifa was being such a good guide and giving info about the area as they started to ascend the mountain.

Also, when you finally get to the title screen, it cracked me up how Nomura is listed first, before Hamaguchi. Probably a seniority/respect thing, but Nomura is the creative director and Hamaguchi is the director.

Also, the version of the main theme that plays as you go up Mt. Nibel is awesome, and once again I had to get a screenshot because this area is just so beautiful:

Tifa wanting to travel is a sweet touch, though Sephiroth is practical and points out that he travels on business trips and not for fun. Of course "Cloud" points out that you do learn stuff on these trips. It's a nice contrast between Tifa's naive optimism, Sephiroth's jaded world-weary outlook, and Zack's positivity tempered by experience.

Also, Sephiroth's hair is very swishy. I thought that needed a note as I was playing this. Props to the artists, animators, etc. who rendered it.

I chuckled at Tifa racing up the mountain and teasing "Cloud" and Sephiroth about whether or not they can keep up. Just shows a fun, playful side to her personality and also shows how eager she is to prove herself. And then she dropkicked a monster to protect "Cloud" and then teased him about it alks;jfdsf. She's so much snarkier with Zack than she is with Cloud, and it's an interesting contrast.

The real Cloud of course is in the background, protecting Tifa from danger. Even in his rewritten version of history, the real him is lurking in his subconscious protecting her because she's that important to him. She thanked him so sweetly when he did too.

I made a note about seeing the bridge that collapsed with Cloud and Tifa on it when they were kids, man all the little details like this and the foreshadowing is just A+.

Tifa has Trauma™️ from falling off a bridge before, hmmm, wonder what that's from, and she's still like hey I'm the guide I'll lead us a;ldkfj when "Cloud" offers to go first lol.

Still holds true years later but wooooow Nibelheim sucks at constructing good bridges lol. It was a wholesome moment where "Cloud"/Zack grabbed Cloud and kept him from drowning though, and Sephiroth was able to grab Tifa (which is ironic considering how he tries to kill her not much later, and it's sad because it really shows he was a good guy). Of course the other security officer probably drowned rip, poor guy.

YAY SEPHIROTH'S IN MY PARTY FINALLY

"For your performance review" lol I like Sephiroth's sass and how he teases "Cloud" like this.

I just obliterate everything playing as Sephiroth ;alsdkfj and truly love playing as him. And him slamming his own dad will never not be funny, I mean Hojo just really sucks.

At this point I started focusing more on playing the game since there were more monsters to fight etc., but I still got some nice screenshots and had a few more thoughts.

The Mako spring just looks incredible, so I had to include a photo:

The scenery by the ocean was gorgeous too, I can't wait to go to Costa del Sol:

The real Cloud helping Tifa get to safety from the monster and "Cloud"/Zack and Sephiroth being bros is top-tier content. Also Sephiroth looks like a model in pretty much every shot he's in:

Oh the dramatic irony of Tifa not knowing it's Cloud and him refusing to talk and her being sassy and telling him, "You better keep me safe" and then of course he does. The music is creepy now that we're about to enter the reactor lol, of course it is.

"Would it kill this guy to say something" he would die from embarrassment and shame, yes:

"The company really needs to be more transparent" that's the understatement of the year "Cloud" ;lakfj;asdf

Cool use of JENOVA'S theme. I always enjoy hearing that theme and how otherworldy but also very 90s it sounds.

Zangan's comment here is gold, I love the bee in his bonnet bit:

The Shinra basement stuff was genuinely creepy l;kasjdf like I know what happens and I was still freaked out! The atmosphere was just really well done.

"I should go. Mother is waiting." There it is, the iconic meme line a;ldal;skdjf;lsdjf it just kills me, Sephiroth is such a psycho.

Loved seeing Zangan helping people get out of the town and telling "Cloud" to get in there and help, but of course the situation is still incredibly dire by the time "Cloud" gets there.

This shot in front of the water tower was gorgeous and really haunting, especially when the water tower collapsed. Just the symbolism with that, the loss of Cloud and Tifa's special place and how not long after this, he feels like he failed her and failed to keep his promise:

Main Scenario: Check on Mom. Oh Cloud...

And then you see the real Cloud collapsed in front of his house and calling for his mom, this is so depressing:

This is where the more realistic graphics really serve the story well, because it makes this moment that much more of a gut punch, especially when he hears his mother begging him to live. The last few moments before her soul returns to the planet perhaps, trying to save her son from danger one last time.

And now that "Cloud" is hurt, he looks busted up even in the menu. I thought that was a cool detail to include.

It's like Cloud's memories are trying to right themselves because he winds up on the ground like where he was supposed to be. When Sephiroth murdered the man who tried to help him and then went on his creepy murder spree of several other villagers culminating with the mayor, that was all really well done too. Horrifying because there's nothing Cloud can do to stop the senseless murder of people he's known all his life, and it really shows how cold and ruthless Sephiroth has become.

This moment was good too with the memories seeming glitchy again:

And then of course I must end this on The Iconic Scene™️ a;lsdkfja;kdslf complete with psycho smirk:

Needless to say, I very much enjoyed this demo and am looking forward to the Juno one! And the full game, February 29 can't come fast enough.

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theetherealbloom · 1 year

Text

UNEVEN ODDS - CH. 8

Chapter Eight: Darkness Exists To Make Light Truly Count

Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold or will she be able to change what was already written?

Paring: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Age-gap Romance, Violence, ANGST, LOTS OF ANGST IM SORRY AGAIN, Swearing, Suicide, FLUFF, PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Crying, Suggestive content, the pandemic, character death, INFECTED, MY SCIENCE IS WONKY, probable plot holes, rusty writing, TLOU is dark please read at your own risk!

Word Count: 9.6k

A/N: Did I drag myself through hell and back writing this last chapter? YEP. Was I anxious writing this meaning that this would be the end of this series? YEAH. Did life get in the way and forcibly had to make me catch up with my schoolwork? UNFORTUNATELY YEP PLS–

Song: Someone To Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Previous Chapter -> Epilogue | Series Masterlist

TLOU WORLD 2023

SILVER LAKE, COLORADO TO SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH – ONE WEEK LATER…

The bitterness of winter as time month moves on, you are greeted with the sweetness of spring. When did your life become a series of countdowns? Was it all just a grain of sand in an hourglass? One moment you were stumbling through the snow, away from Silver Lake. Next, you’re on the outskirts of Salt Lake City, Utah. Roughly 3,534 miles and you’re counting down the hours of today, vaguely knowing about what happens in Saint Mary's Hospital, the operation on Ellie, and the death of a surgeon triggering a chain reaction to stir violence with the former fireflies to kill Joel.

Each step into the city meant the possibility of losing them both to the future you seem to believe is set in stone, their stories already written and their fates chosen long before you had even stepped foot in the reality you couldn’t have possibly imagined existing. So you are standing and listening to him in that glistening emptiness, scavenging the remaining vehicles that contained any items to use. You hear your childhood sympathies banging against each other in a giant communal eardrum circle, trying to drown out melodies you can’t help but hum to. It feels like a part of your past follows you everywhere you go, a ghost you can’t shake, someone familiar but every time it places its hand in your hand, neither one of you could feel it.

Your weight is resting on the counter of the dilapidated kitchenette in an old RV, Joel tries to call your name, but you are now too deep into the thought that you don’t hear his rich and rough voice telling you about the broken guitar he found. Every part of you is somewhere else, a distant and dazed look in your eyes as you feel your vision blur. Joel approaches you cautiously, not wanting to startle you as he gently places his large palm on the side of your arm, rubbing it gently as he spoke softly, “Birdie… what’s wrong?” You blink up at him, your expression weepy and choked up, “Joel… there’s something you need to know.” He’s quick to ask, “What is it? What’s wrong, Darlin’?”

You feel your body melt at the nickname, but you gently place your hand on his, squeezing it as you said, “Joel… I know how all of this ends. I know how you die.” You watch as his shoulders rise, his breathing becomes still, and his expression was mixed with realization, curiosity, and despair. He swallows as he asks, “How… I thought you didn’t know everythin’?” You nodded, “Yes, I swear to you, there were parts I didn’t know or couldn’t remember. Everything except how all of this ends.” He frowns and grimaces, but never lets go of your hand, gruffly he says, “Tell me.” You move a little closer to his warmth, wanting to be close to him as you spoke, “Everything that will happen at Saint Mary's… the decisions and choices you make in the next few hours will be the cause of your death in the next few years or so. The Doctor you kill and um… You and Ellie… I don’t know if there’s a chance of a happy ending in this world or any way out of this besides going back to Jackson and convincing Ellie that she doesn’t have to go through with this or… fighting our way through the upcoming obstacles in our way.”

Joel shifts his weight from one leg to the other, bringing his eyes to yours, and at that moment you knew, the heat that radiates in his stare as he looks at you, every inch of skin comes alive as he drags his hand along your arm to your waist, sliding it and carefully securing you closer to him. Now, you are inches away from your lips to his, his nose touching the tip of your own with your foreheads pressed together, you breathe him in, close your eyes, and sigh in comfort. He cradles the side of your face and you lean into him, he gently asks, “What would you like me to do, Sweetheart?” You place your hand on top of his, leaving a soft kiss on his wrist and then replying, “I need you to stay alive. Ellie needs you… I need you to be here with us. Next, when the opportunity presents itself, please, I beg you, spare the surgeon.” He whispers his inquiry, “Why?” You sniff and feel your eyes well up, “Because his daughter will be the reason for your death. Look, I don’t care who else you decide to kill, just if you can… leave him alive.”

He holds you closer as he shakily asks, “Why are you tellin’ me this now, Hon’?” You lick your lips nervously, placing your head on his shoulder as he fully embraces your figure, slowly speaking, “I… I’m scared, Joel. I’m honestly terrified of what’s going to happen next. I don’t want to lose you… I can’t lose you.” You shudder at the thought, the mere idea of it brings you to clutch him tighter, and he cradles your figure closer as he soothes you, “You won’t lose me. I’m persistent, remember?” You weakly laugh at that, and he wipes away the tears from your cheeks while saying, “Let’s go show Ellie what we found.” You open your mouth to speak but he has already read your mind, “We’ll figure it out and cross that bridge when we get there. Okay, Birdie?” He has changed all of your circuitry, the red and gold, writing all over your being. How he looks at you, his eyes say everything without a single word. You nod and whisper, “Okay.” He presses his lips to yours with passion and promises, “I’ll keep us safe, I swear.”

You step out and leave the abandoned RV, grabbing an old board game, and canned food. Joel yells out, “Ellie! Ellie.” Still, no response from the teenager sitting at the back of an old blue truck, and her mind seems to be somewhere else. “Ellie!” Joel yells a bit louder, which causes her to turn around to look at him, preoccupied, remote, distracted perhaps by the magnitude of what their arrival in Salt Lake City could mean.

“D’ya hear me?”Joel asks through the loud wind blowing through everyone’s hair, Ellie shakes her head, “No. What?” Ellie asks, and Joel excitedly shows Ellie that he found a can, “Well, we found this in there. Beefaroni. Chef Boyardee.” Calling back to their campfire meal, to which Ellie tries to sound enthusiastic, but ending up sounding flat, “Oh, cool.” Joel approaches Ellie, shaking the old cardboard box game, “And have you ever played this? Boggle? It’s a word game.” She politely and quietly shakes her head, seemingly uninterested but still trying to please Joel, she hands him back the box and he says, “Well if you wanna beat me at somethin’, it would be this.”

Ellie manages to nod her head, and you frown at her lackadaisical nature, noting that this isn’t like her at all. You walk to Joel’s side as he calmly spoke again, “Well, all right then. We’re gettin’ close. Hospital that way. May be the one we’re lookin’ for.” Ellie pushes herself off the back of the truck, the sound of dirt crunching beneath her boots as she replied, “Got it.” She grabs her pack while Joel shoves the canned food and board game into his backpack. Ellie approaches you both and Joel rolls his shoulder, showing her the rifle, “Take this for me?” Ellie grabs so he can throw the strap of the backpack across his shoulder, “Thanks.” He grabs the rifle once more, carrying it while Ellie nods in acknowledgment.

As the three of you walked along the ruined highway, Joel begins to talk, “They had a guitar in that RV. It was all smashed up but got me thinkin’ maybe I should find one. I haven’t played in forever. In fact, I was thinkin’ maybe I could teach you. I bet you’d be great at it.” Ellie merely hums and Joel asks her with a sort of hopeful tone, “Do you wanna learn how to play guitar?” There is no response from Ellie, your eyes shift from her to Joel, and you see him frown in concern, “Ellie?” She looks up, blinking at him as she hums in response, “Oh, yeah. That’d be great.”

Surprisingly, the entire walk into the city was quiet, there was no chatter from Ellie or Joel, no melody leaving your lips as you pass by abandoned cars. After what seemed like thirty minutes, Joel finally broke the silence once more, “Okay, so this is what I’m thinkin’...” Ellie already knew what he was talking about, “Cut through that building to get around that stuff, find the skyscraper, go up and look around.” You look at her impressed, while Joel says, “Actually, this time I was thinkin’ we blast our way through that rubble. I found some dynamite in that RV back there.” This catches Ellie off guard, “Really?” While you give him a suspicious look, “The fuck has gotten into you?”

Joel confirms he was joking around as he replied to you both, “No, so we’re gonna cut through that building, find a skyscraper, go up, and look around. But I had you both goin’, didn’t I?” You playfully rolled your eyes while Ellie nods once more. The group decides to cut through the building on the way to the hospital, and decide to climb an abandoned skyscraper to get a better vantage point and lay off the land. The red tarpaulins hanging over the scaffolding, “Look at this place,” Joel says as you all take a good look around your environment, “Talk about bad luck. Military drops bombs, not one of them hits the building you’re trying to demolish.” You peek through the rubble to see the sunlight streaming through, Joel cranes his neck to look up, “No way up.”

He approaches the fence gate inside the construction, the steel rattling loudly as he does, and walks through with you and Ellie trailing behind him. Joel spots a ladder peaking from above as you stand next to him, “I get Ellie up there, you can drop down that ladder down, maybe we go through that way. Come one I’ll give you a boost.” You both turn to look for her to find her looking through abandoned blueprints, you watch as Joel is more attentive to her as he asks, “You okay?” Ellie brings her head up to look at him, “Yeah, I’m fine.” Joel doesn’t buy it, “It’s just you seem extra quiet today, so.” Ellie feels the guilt bubble in her, “Oh… I’m sorry.” While you and Joel shake your heads, “No, it’s fine. Did you hear what I…” Ellie is quick to nod, “Yeah, boost. Got it.”

Joel steps on top of the wooden scaffolding, and Ellie grabs his outstretched hand, readying his stance while saying, “One, two, up.” You watch as Ellie pushes her body weight up while Joel asks, “Ya got it?” Ellie responds, “Yeah. Okay.” She’s just about to put down the ladder, however, the usually attentive Ellie is caught off guard by something and instead ends up just dropping the ladder and running off to look at something. Joel barked out, “God dammit, Ellie! Shit.” You also call for her, but there is no indication she hears you. You and Joel lift the ladder while he yells out to the teen, “You stay there!” To which Ellie yells back, “You gotta see this!” You climb the ladder first while Joel follows behind you, your voice echoes as you spoke, “Ellie? Where are you?”

“Up here!” Ellie says while you and Joel pursue her, perhaps worried at first that she’s in danger. Grumbling, Joel says her name but Ellie is quick to run, “Come on!” You and Joel wonder what the fuss is about, he calls her again, trying to get her to stop running so damn fast, “Ellie.” Again, she doesn’t relent, pushing faster to chase whatever caught her attention. Joel is breathing heavily as he mumbles, “Just wait. God damn it.”

After another flight of stairs, you pass by a ruined wall, as you sidestepped it, what you both find is Ellie, standing awestruck by the sight of a giraffe, peacefully munching on some leaves growing on the building. The feeling of enchantment rushes through your body, the familiarity of the scene that you had a glimpse of during your time back in your other universe. How important this meant to both of them.

Joel quietly approaches and stands next to Ellie, while you are to the left of her. Though time is ruthless, it showed you kindness despite the effects the Infected have wrought on the hope and innocence of the world in the end. But showing and by slowing down enough, a second chance to make amends. Ellie pointedly looks at Joel, “Don’t scare it.” To he replies, “I won’t.” He sets down his rifle, draws his weapons, and gives himself and Ellie a welcome reprieve from the darkness so that the balance may be restored. When the world welcomes you in, you’re closer to Heaven than you’ll ever know. They say this place has changed, but strip away all of the technology and you will see that you all are hunters, hunting for something that will make us okay.

Joel grabs a couple of leaves from the side of the tree and Ellie’s voice is in alarm as she asks, “What are you doing?” He reassures her, “It’s all right. Come here, hurry up. Come on.” Ellie walks towards him, a little closer to the giraffe, while you stand there nervously rubbing your arm. Joel spots your discomfort but quickly reassures you, “You too Hummin’ bird.” You exhaled deeply, trusting Joel and walking closer to the giraffe.

He passes leaves to you both, and there is a form of uncertainty between you and the giraffe, but eventually, you stretch out your hand and the giraffe approaches you, grazing on the leaves you have presented to the creature. When you were out of leaves, it then went to Ellie, happily munching on the leaves she had with her. There is something so precious about Ellie’s laugh. The whole is so much greater than the sum of these parts. You've heard the truth before, for in beauty there echoes a speck of our source. There's a voice inside your soul, that resonates through your skin and bone. Crooked mouth, quiet down, you let your fists come undone. The understanding that miscarried love will be reborn. There is hope in our eyes when we truly see each other.

Joel smiles lovingly at her joy, the honoring of every shadow, and gratitude for all that follows. Overwhelmed, wave after wave, you are more afraid to lose what you have found, even after all this evolving, it still feels unnatural, still pulls tight the muscles, and strains the arms and spine. Ellie’s laughs are melodious as she states, “So fucking cool.” There are no more leaves left for the giraffe to munch on, seemingly done, she begins to trot away. Ellie whines, “Aw, where is she going?” She begins to race after her, yelling out to her two guardians, “Come on, come on, come on, come on!”

As Joel was about to turn and call after her, you grab his wrist, causing him to look at you with concern, “What is it, Hon’?” Your heart melts at the nickname, you give him a soft smile as you took in a breath before speaking your heart out, “I have to tell you something.” He frowns in concern, “Now? Ellie might–” You cut him off while nodding, “Yes, now.” Joel leans a little closer, “What is it? Tell me what’s wrong.” You weakly laugh at his statement, knowing him too well to know that whatever is wrong he’d immediately want to fix it for you because that’s how he cares.

A beat passes between you two, the sound of the wind rustling the leaves, the huffs of the giraffes from outside, and even a few birds chirping, seemed like everything was right where it should be. Joel opens his mouth, and at first, no sound comes out, but he gathers his courage and says, “Not that I wouldn’t say it first, ‘cause I would.” You smile at him knowing what he was implying, and you shake your head, “It’s no big deal,” You try to finish your statement but he cuts you off, his southern accent is more prominent as his voice goes lower, “I’ll tell you soon.” You hold the side of his face, as he looks at you while holding his breath ‘cause you both could, in a voice so soft and sweet, you say, “Until then, I love you.”

The darkness that hangs over him at first tries to reject it as his lips parts in astonishment and bewilderment. He would drag you through the muck while telling you that you belonged to a cleaner lifestyle. He thinks you'd be crushed underfoot by him, that you'd be able to see right through him, that he's just spewing hot air, that you'd be always racing after him as he chases after more svelte models, and that it would be a never-ending cycle. His mouth quivers and his beautiful southern accent is accentuated as he asks, “Are you sure? After everything I’ve done? After all the people I’ve killed?”

You held your breath while you thought about it for a long, quiet moment. “I am willing to fit into any spaces you give me since I am aware of your sharp edges and have seen your beautiful curves. Bring on the muck if loving you takes becoming filthy,” you said. “And right now, I’m pretty in love with you, if that’s okay.”

He leans it to place his lips to yours, kissing you with such fiery passion you had only ever dreamed or seen in moves and read about in romance novels. His lips were warm and soft. They parted slightly, allowing my tongue to slip inside. Your bodies pressed together heatedly, breathing heavily as our lips pressed together. You could taste your shared breath, and feel the thud of your combined heartbeats. And just like that, he did not crave the language he always thought he needed. The warmth and softness of his lips, the taste and scent of his breath, and the subtle movements of both of your tongues. But even though he couldn't say it out loud, it was undeniable that both of their love for each other was palpable. It was in the way you laughed together, the way you touched each other's hands, and the way you looked at each other. Pulling away, to cup your face, and just like that a hand reached backward into a faraway dream and said, “Come on then, we better catch up to Ellie.”

Moving to the rooftop of the building, Joel pulls the door open and you see Ellie happily observing the herd of giraffes. The rusty door squeaks as it shuts behind you, looking over the towers of giraffes walking around the greenery that has taken over the ruined city. You walk over to Ellie’s side, making her the center between you and Joel. The weight of family and the pull of gravity. It seems like growing up didn't take long, you were a family pulled from the flood, you tore the floorboards up and let the river rush in, not wash away.

You recognize the parallel to the first time you stood on a rooftop with Ellie and Joel, looking over the view of a ruined city to find some absolute answer to a world that seemed so hopeless. Joel places his hands on the ledge of the rooftop, and he gruffly asks, “Is it everything ya hope for?” You look at Ellie, her lips forming a little smile, “It’s got its ups and downs, but you can’t deny that view.” It set your hearts ablaze, and every city was a gift, every skyline was like a kiss upon the lips. Joel looks at Ellie concerned mixed with uncertainty, “Look, I don’t know exactly where this hospital is…” The teen’s determination is unwavering as she swiftly said, “Yeah, we’ll find it.”

He releases a shaky breath, he feels his parental nature returning, “Sure. It’s just… Maybe there’s nothin’ bad out there, but so far there’s always been somethin’ bad out there.” Ellie shrugs, “We’re still here, though.” Joel nods, “I know. I’m only saying there’s risk.” Ellie looks away but Joel shifts his weight to lean closer, insisting, feeling a presentiment of losing her, “We don’t have to do this. I want you to know that.” Ellie turns to look at him with furrowed brows and a frown, “What do you mean? What else are we supposed to do?” To which Joel responds, “Nothin’. We just go back to Tommy’s. We forget the whole damn thing.”

“After all we’ve been through? Everything I’ve done? It can’t be for nothing,” Ellie replies evenly. “I know you mean well. I know you want to protect me. You have. And when we’re done, we’ll go wherever you want. Tommy’s, sheep ranch, the moon. I’ll follow you anywhere you go. But there’s no halfway with this. We finish what we started.” She finishes giving her a touching speech with clear-eyed dignity. After a beat passes, Joel reluctantly nods in agreement. It becomes clearer now, if you listen just right, you can almost hear it. The symphony of secrecy, life, the search for love, but finding fear. We could hold our breath forever, or maybe for a while. The best will surely come, until then you’ll feel nothing at all.

You three proceed to cut through an abandoned emergency medical center left over from the outbreak. You see the ruins of triage tents outside, and a brief moment of déjà vu creeps over you, remembering the makeshift facilities and tents from your universe during the outbreak. Some vines overgrow the poles of the tents, there are rotting medical supplies and vehicles. Taking it all in, Ellie wonders, “Was it a FEDRA thing?” Joel shakes his head, “No. Army. They put these places up all around, the first few days after the outbreak. Emergency medical camps. Obviously didn’t last. They had me in one just like this.” Ellie quickly assumes he had his daughter with him, “With Sarah?”

You look at him concerned and afraid that he would begin to lash out in anger as a defense, but he doesn’t. Instead, he shakes his head in disagreement, “No, she was gone already. So what was wrong with you?” Joel points to his scar, “It was for this.” Ellie nods in realization, “The guy who shot and missed. I figured that would’ve happened later.” There’s a shift in his voice that you catch, “No.” He slows his pace to a stop, “Second day.” You stop to look at him but Ellie continues to talk, “I’ve gotta hand it to the Army people and Birdie. They are way better at stitchin’ you up than I was.”

“It was me.” This causes Ellie to freeze and turn around to see the rise and fall of her chest falter. Your eyes begin to gloss over and sting and the thoughts seep into her head with a terrifying blankness. It was nauseating. Joel baldly confesses, “It was me,” he says. “I was the guy who shot and missed.” He then moves to sit atop a concrete barrier, while you and Ellie also move to sit beside him, “There’s no story. Sarah died. And I couldn’t see the point anymore. Simple as that. And I wasn’t scared, either. I was ready. I couldn’t have been more ready. When I… When I went to pull the trigger, I flinched. Still don’t know why.” The raw admission, of him opening up himself to you and Ellie shows how far you three have come. A great tremor took over your body, a tightening of your throat and a short intake of breath, you try and will yourself to not cry. “Anyway, the reason I’m telling you all this is…” Ellie cuts him off, “I know why you’re telling the both of us this.”

He nods, “Yeah, I reckon you do.” And you hold his hand to stop his thumb from fidgeting with his pointer finger, unsure if you were comforting him or yourself. To remind yourself he’s still here. After a moment of silence and uncomfortable realization, Ellie says, “So time heals all wounds, I guess.” Joel ponders for a moment, before deciding to openly admit how much he truly cares for Ellie and you, “It wasn’t time that did it.” He unwaveringly, and lovingly looks at Ellie and you, squeezing your hand as he does. For Joel, everything you’ve been through, all the pain and death, it’s worth it because he has a daughter again and now you. It brings everything together for Joel. He’s succeeded here. He cares less about Ellie’s potential for a cure and more about not losing a person he loves again. He, is once again, whole.

Ellie quietly lets go of the breath she was holding, “Well, I’m glad that… that didn’t work out.” Joel nods in agreement, “Me, too.” He wipes away the tears with his other hand and then moves to wipe away the tears that you didn’t even realize had streamed down your face. The teen awkwardly shifts to move off the concrete barrier you three were sitting on, “We should probably get going.” Joel automatically agrees, “Yeah.”

There's something about sadness that leaves you wanting more. A sickness that breathes… from holding on to letting go, like the feeling of change is almost like dying. You know from time to time that hope seems but a foreign land. A distance that you cannot reach and a language you cannot speak. In his words, the movement of his eyes, the expressions on his face, the rush of your walking. And through all the things you'll find out and will hold on tighter to the surface of life. Like a moth to the flame, we become helpless to the beautiful ghost that true love sheds.

You continue your journey to the hospital, Joel hasn’t let go of your hand as you walk side by side with Ellie, he then asks aloud, “You know what I’m in the mood for?” Ellie quizically wonders, “What?” Joel smiles as he responds, “Shitty puns.” She laughs and you smile at her delight, rummaging her pack to find her pun book, flipping through the pages she finds one and says, “‘People are making apocalypse jokes like there’s no tomorrow.’” Joel clicks his tongue, making a face in mock offense, Ellie smiles, “Too soon?” Joel shakes his head and smiles, “No, it’s topical.” Ellie lets out a giggle, “Oh, I love this one! ‘Moon rocks taste better than Earth rocks. Why?” The man next to you scratches his forehead before shrugging, then Ellie answer, “‘Cause they’re meteor.’” You smile in amusement while Joel shakes his head, “Oh, that’s terrible.” Ellie throws back, “Fuck you. That was actually good.” He disagrees entirely, “That’s a zero out of ten.” You laugh, “Oh, we’re giving grades now?” His southern accent is prominent as he replied, “Damn right darlin’.” Ellie laughs, “All right, all right. ‘What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, you idiot.’” Joel rates, “That’s a three outta ten.” But Ellie tries to bargain, “Seven, minimum.” He shakes his head but tries to meet her in the middle, “I’ll give it a five. Five outta ten.”

In the moments that you feel that you three are closer than ever before, the world drops out from under your feet. The sharp sound of metal from something behind you causes you three to turn your heads in alarm, spotting the stun grenade, Joel moves to shield you and Ellie, bringing you three crashing to the ground. There is smoke that hazes your vision, and the ringing in your ears is sharp and painful, the world around you is a blur. You make the muffled sounds of Ellie yelling for you and Joel, tall figures with firearms taking her and you away from him. There is always something there, to take your hearts like thieves, there is always something there. A painful strike to the head and it all goes white, to close your eyes, to end this chase while unraveling the most essential thread.

ST. MARY’S HOSPITAL, SALT LAKE CITY — DAY

You slowly blink your eyes open, you hear the steady beat of your own heart with the help of the monitor near the side of your bed, and you feel the plush pillow beneath your head, you feel the cotton of a hospital sticking onto your skin while you are trying to get an understanding of where you are. Next, the smell of familiar antiseptic and bleach fills your nostrils, you first spot that you’re hooked into an IV drip, moving your head to the door frame, you feel your eyes widen and they dart across the room to see Marlene.

You can’t bring yourself to move, as you observe Marlene studying you, finally she says, “You’re finally awake.” You blink once, then again, before swallowing your fears, “Where’s Joel?” Marlene pushes herself off of the wall and uncrosses her arms, “He’s in another room, unconscious but fine. Patrol didn’t know who you were.” Your breathing hitches, “Okay, where’s Ellie?” Marlene replies steadily, as if practiced, “She’s fine. She’s not hurt, mostly worried about you two though.” You narrowed your eyes in suspicion, “You’re going to operate on her.” Marlene sighs, defeatedly she nods, “Yes.” You lick your lips as a nervous tick, “You also know that I’m also immune.” The leader of the rebellion nods again, and you close your eyes to shake your head, “She’s just a kid. She’s everything to Joel… to me. Don’t do the operation on her, take me instead.” Marlene shakes her head in disagreement, “I can’t do that.” You tilt your head to the side, “Why not?”

She heavily sighs, “Your immunity is different from hers.” You scoff, “The cordyceps that she had since birth, grow in her brain, sending a chemical messenger to tell other cordyceps that she is cordyceps. You’re going to have to kill her just to get that damn vaccine. So, just take the plasma from me, it might contain the antibodies that you need to fight the virus.” Marlene places both of her hands on her waist “I can’t let you do that.” Exhausted you frustratingly growl, “Why? This has been the center of debate for years. The fuckin’ goddamn Trolley Problem! Plow into a group of people or turn and hit one person. Forcing you to choose to let other people die, but the solution was so simple.” Marlene takes the bait and asks, “And what is the answer?”

“Sacrificing yourself. And right now, Marlene, I have that choice. Either to let you kill an innocent girl, someone who didn’t ask to be brought into this fractured world to save what little we have left, or save her and all of humanity… with me, someone who never should have been here in the first place.” Marlene hums, “Well, you’re right about one thing… you aren’t from here.” You look at her confused and someone familiar steps into your room, the dark hair, black eyes, his stature lanky and tall, you shakingly exhale, “Adam. How are you even… What?” Another Firefly soldier comes in to retrieve Marlene, whispering that Joel is waking up. She walks away with the Firefly soldier and leaves you and Adam to talk.

He clears his throat, “I’ve been looking for you, and it's been weeks since your apartment burned down with you going missing. Do you remember anything that happened before the fire?” You shake your head, “I remember going to sleep after watching… yeah.” He nods, “You had brought home your research without any of the lab researchers or staff knowing. Your apartment burned down along with the research. I thought it was a little weird since… they didn’t find your body or any indication of you being abducted so I did a little bit of snooping around your desk, found the flash drive of your existing equations and theories before they took it away for evidence, had a hunch you were successful with your research and that you were out there somewhere.”

You manage to let out a chuckle, “Thanks for looking for me… I thought no one would notice if I was gone. It’s nice to have a friend.” He gives an awkward smile, “Did you have to bring yourself into this specific universe?” You rolled your eyes with humor, “It wasn’t intentional, I swear.” He gives you a knowing look but doesn’t tease you any further. Your mind begins to linger on the question you had since you woke up, “Why won’t Marlene just operate on me? It would be the best solution to avoid the upcoming massacre.”

Adam frowns and sighs, “When I first came here to look for you, Marlene had found me and then recruited me to join the Fireflies, but I had told her I wasn’t fit to fight and that I’m a scientist looking for a lost friend in their universe. You could imagine her skepticism but she eventually believed me,” You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach as he continued, “After we made it to Salt Lake City, I had said that if things were to change, if you were to sacrifice yourself, to take Ellie’s place, it would completely cause the boundary between two universes to erode, and collide, destroying one or both entirely.” You look up at the ceiling, the fluorescent lights hanging from above, “Let me guess, our universe is next to this one.” Adam nods, “I’m sorry. I tested the simulation before I got here… There are certain points that you can change but most of it stays the same.”

“Do you know how this ends?” You asked, he raises his eyebrows, “Which part?” You think to yourself before speaking again, “All of it.” He nods then loudly exhales, “Yes. It ends… in a selfish choice. A lie. But you already knew that why do you need to ask?” Unwaveringly, you stare him down, your voice stern and steady as you say, “Because I’m going to make my selfish choice too.”

It was quiet for a moment, the epiphany kicking in and settling between you and your friend. Adam shifts his weight on the other leg before reaching into his pocket, showing you a small rectangular device, “I managed to figure out the wiring and transmission issue, as well as the power issue with crystalized radium, and stabilized it with other elements. So, I managed to create a portable version of the machine you had. We can go home.”

That is what you were looking for all this time, right? A way back home. Now it’s right here in your grasp, just in reach but you feel no joy. No overwhelming sense of comfort or excitement. Nothing. You swallowed and shake your head, “No.” Adam is taken aback by your answer, “What? But you… your life back home.” You shake your head disagreeing, “That was never my home. You and I both know that. I was already researching a way out of that place, somewhere far away, and now… I’m here, free, and loved.” He shakes his head, “You can’t change what was already written.” You give him a sad smile, “The future is always changing. And I’ll make sure of it.” Adam insists, “And if you can’t?”

You leave all logic aside as you breathlessly say, “Then… At least they don’t have to go through any of the next steps alone.” Adam sighs and waves the device, “What do you want me to do with this.” You raise your eyebrows, “Go home, Adam. Ali needs you there, and as for my research… burn it. All of it, destroy everything.” He disagrees with you, “What?! That’s your life’s work?” You blankly stare into his eyes, “We aren’t ready for this kind of this discovery just yet. The world is moving so fast over there, if we don’t slow down, we’ll crash and burn.” He tries again to convince you to come home, to go back to the simple life you had before, “But…” You cut him off, “Remember what you told me? All disasters start with a scientist being ignored.” Defeatedly he tilts his head down, then nods agreeing, “Okay.”

You glance out the glass window of your room, there are Fireflies running down the hall, and from a distance the sound of loud pops and gunshots can be heard echoing, followed by yelling and thumping footsteps of Firefly soldiers. You turn back to look at Adam, “Listen to me, you need to leave right now. Burn all of my research. I want everything wiped out from the Cloud and every hard drive to be destroyed, all of it. But seriously, you need to go. Joel figured out what the hell was going on and will kill anyone who gets in his way. I don’t think he’s himself right now… so please just go… and take care of yourself and Ali for me?” Adam achingly smiles with tears in his eyes, “Goodbye and good luck.” With a push of a couple of buttons, followed by a flash of bright light, your only chance, a way back to your original universe was gone.

The sound of people screaming and dying was getting closer, the unmistakable sound of gunshots fill your ears and you feel a sense of dread creep through your bones. It is never safe enough to fall in love in this world. How easy it is to give the thing you want the most and punish you for it. But you’re smart enough to know, you can’t escape the truth of what you want. Every move we make will trigger another, and every small mistake will be a messenger. Your lives are weaving like a thread within each other, faithfully sharing in our joys and miseries and all that the world can give.

A firefly soldier tries to take cover in your room, essentially holding you hostage. You stay frozen in your bed as you observe Joel as he stalks over with an eerie calm expression, easily aiming at him, spraying him with bullets to take him down, and you don’t move as you watch him flick the switchblade open, the silver glimmering in his hand, brutally stabbing the soldier, he screams in agony before his eyes roll back, dead. He picks up the assault rifle from the corpse before standing and making his way to your bedside, a sharp contrast to what you had just seen, he leans in to kiss your forehead, “Hey, Sweetheart. They were tryin’ to take you away from me. Sorry I didn’t come sooner.” You take in the grime on his face, blood, and dust, lovingly gaze into his eyes and wrap your arms around his waist, “It’s okay. I knew you’d come lookin’ for me.” He breathes you in, and for a moment, he can ground himself with you hugging him tightly, close to him, but a dose of reality kicks in when he hears footsteps of oncoming Fireflies, he says to you, “Can you walk?” You nod, “The drugs that they gave me might kick in soon, but for now, yes.” He nods and helps you up while saying, “Let’s go get our baby girl.”

You feel the cold tiles of the hospital floor, wincing now and then over the debris and rocks, you accidentally step on. Joel shoots his way through, cold-heartedly executing anyone who dares and tries and gets in the way of Ellie. You know deep down he’s disassociated, disconnected from himself and the world around him. There is no sign of remorse in his eyes, only clear-cut focus and calmness you can’t quite place.

Eventually, you make it to pediatrics with Joel holding a handgun instead of the assault rifle. A sign points to where the surgery room is, as you walk through the hallway, you notice the different cartoon jungle animals painted on the walls, spotting another giraffe, the gentle giant that represented a holy moment of peace with Ellie. You press forward, slightly limping with the wounds on your feet as you two make it to the end of the hallway and into the operating room.

Joel quietly pushes the door open, spotting Ellie on the table, ready to be cut open and dissected. He then pushes the second door open to stand by the door, and calmly he says, “Unhook her.” The nurses gasp and the lead surgeon steps forward, “How did you get in here?” Joel doesn’t care to reply to his question, pointing his gun at him, “I said unhook her.” Before you knew what you were doing you loudly spoke, “Dr. Anderson. Listen to me, I know what you’re about to do next, the moment you fuckin’ pick up that scalpel blade, he will shoot you with no hesitation. He’s not himself right now. So, for your own daughter’s sake… don’t fucking move and let the nurses unhook Ellie.” He freezes, not expecting what you had just said, he looks between you two and Ellie, “We need to do this. It could work, we could have a vaccine. A chance to win.”

You shake your head, “Vaccines only work if there’s the proper distribution. A collective effort to try and solve this problem together. You have no resources to distribute it, even if you did it would take years to form collective immunity and then we’d have to figure out how to get rid of the infected. We have to share each other's work openly and efficiently. So that together we might achieve what we cannot achieve alone, collective immunity.”

Dr. Anderson takes in the information, the true meaning of your words but eventually settles on a decision, one that would have major implications in the future. He grabs the scalpel from the tray, and points it at you both, “I won’t let you take her.” There is no hesitation as Joel puts a bullet through his head, the loud gunshot causes both of the nurses to flinch and scream in horror. There is a flat tone in Joel’s voice as he says, “Unhook her.” The nurses have their arms up, shakingly cowering as his voice booms, “Move!” They do as they’re told, unhooking Ellie from the IV, blood drips down her arm, “Cover her arm.” Joel said and one of the nurses places a cotton patch on top of it. He then tells them to turn around, which all of them do with no question. As Joel carries Ellie out of the operating room, you quietly say, “I’m sorry. Tell Abby that I tried. But the moment she comes after him, I won’t hesitate to kill her.”

You leave and catch up with Joel who is carrying Ellie’s limp body in his arms, the elevator doors open, and you both step inside. You made mistakes and did a few things right. It will take what it will take, baby that's life, you cannot change what you do not own, everybody knows. But if you live deep and love strong you get pretty damn close. The elevator doors open to the basement of the hospital, and you both quickly spot a car ready to climb into to leave. As you quickly walk towards it, you begin to fade in and out, your energy spent and feeling the effects of the drugs they had given you prior.

“You can’t keep them safe forever.” Marlene walks out of the shadows with a gun pointed at you both, and you feel yourself slip further into darkness, you hazily hear the words from Marlene, “No matter how hard you try, no matter how many people you kill, she’s gonna grow up, Joel. And then you’ll die. She’ll leave. Then what? How long till she’s torn apart by Infected or murdered by raiders? Because she lives in a broken world that you could have saved.” Joel nods, “Maybe. But it isn’t for you to decide.” Marlene throws back at him, “Or you. So what would she decide? ‘Cause I think she’d wanna do what’s right because your girl over there was about to sacrifice herself to spare you both and save the world. And you know it. It’s not too late. Even now,” She tucks the gun away back into her holster, “Even after what you’ve done. We can still find a way.”

That’s when you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore, your eyes roll back to your head, you feel your knees give out and your body comes crashing down to the floor. In this sea of change, understanding is our shore, you disappear with no control. The current is strong, your arms are weak. But you are the branch within his reach, though you cannot catch your breath. Joel isn’t able to catch you in time, and it’s as if the world had slowed down to watch your lifeless body crumple and shut down right in front of him and he’s never felt so powerless. He gazes down at you and then at Ellie, considering the rebel leader’s points, then he brings his eyes to Marlene.

ON THE ROAD, TO JACKSON — DAY

With his closed fists, he will feel like he’s succeeded. Outside of the walls of Jackson is an awful place as far as he can tell. You were victims of a constant loss, you three were not the enemy. He is afraid that his plans will lose their place. Maybe you all could hold your breath forever, or maybe for a while, knowing that the best will surely come like sunshine streaming down or the falling of rain.

Through your sleepy eyes, contagiously bright, as you stir awake, you are now in the front passenger seat of a truck you do not recognize, stretches of tall trees whiz past your periphery as you slowly crane your neck to look at Joel, who is gazing at you with relief and a little bit of remorse. Slowly, you see it in his eyes. The landscape of being are endlessly competing, back and forth for an answer to existence that you can understand. Perhaps you’re looking far too closely, you can't see all the evidence in its entirety. The air in your lungs and the complexity of both of your love for each other and Ellie. But love travels like a rumor here, losing form with every ear, just a skeleton of something more.

Ellie stirs and starts to wake up confused in the back seat, “What?” Joel is quick to reassure her and says, “It’s all right. You’re with us. Take it slow. The drugs are still wearin’ off.” Ellie mumbles, “I was with the Fireflies, and then… what drugs?” Joel swallows down his guilt before steadily saying, “They were runnin’ some test on you and some others. Turns out there’s a whole lot more like you. People that are immune. Dozens of ‘em. And the doctors, they couldn’t make any of it work. They’ve actually…” There’s a small pause, a wavier in his voice as the flashbacks come back to him in a blur, “They’ve stopped looking for a cure,” he lies, and Ellie then asks him suspiciously, “Where are my clothes?” He fabricates another lie, “Raiders attacked the hospital. Barely got ya both outta there. We’ll find you two some new clothes on the way.” Ellie senses the bullshit, “Were people hurt?” Joel clenches his jaw before deciding, “Yes.” To which she asks, “Is Marlene okay?” His eyes get misty again as he drives, he can’t bring himself to admit the truth to her or spew out more lies, so he settles on something true, “I’m takin’ us home.” She turns over so he can’t see her face in the rearview mirror. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

You sit there stunned at Joel’s lies and see the strength of his resolve. You turn your head to look at him to find him gazing at you as if asking, begging through his whiskey-doe eyes, imploring you to not tell her the truth right now. You have to trust him, he knows where he’s going. The unbearable weight of a hidden question between exchanging looks, “Will you follow me, still?” You close your eyes for a moment, and Joel nearly falters, readying himself for the fallout, but instead, you take his right hand, with your own, squeezing it with reassurance. Some truths, over time, can learn to play nice and some truths are sharper than knives. No matter what category you fit into, truth's got its sight set on you. The light that we hold must be buried to bloom. And in spite of the uneven odds, beauty lifts from the earth. You’re the deal that everyone breaks when you’re without him. Only love proves to be the truth.

3 DAYS LATER…

THE OUTSKIRTS OF JACKSON — DAY

After a couple of stops, grabbing clothes and shoes from abandoned houses and stores. The car that he stole from the Fireflies had broken down, Ellie sat in the driver's seat as she traced her arms of the bitemark of the first Infected she ever faced. You were leaning on the other car door, right beside her, before quietly showing your arm the bite mark of the Infected a few weeks prior. She looks up at you in surprise, “You’re also… Immune?” You nod, explaining to her the possibility of now having the antibodies to fight the cordyceps infection along with the speculation of the radiation you had. She dwells on that information for a moment before asking, “Did the Fireflies try and test you too?” You look directly at her, “Yes. I’m not sure it worked though.” The lie that falls off your tongue tastes sour, but she doesn’t pick up on it, sensing that there was enough truth in what you said. Joel loudly shuts the hood of the car, “Well, she got us close enough.” He looks behind him before walking towards you and Ellie, “We gotta walk the rest of the way. Probably a five-hour hike but we can manage that. Remember?” Ellie smiles at the memory of the good times of the journey, “Yeah.”

You hike through the woods, taking in the earthly smell of pine trees and dirt. The forest resets in hope, with every crunch beneath your feet, and the two people you hold most dear to your heart. Joel brings himself to talk about Sarah, “You know, Sarah and I used to hike like this all the time. I wouldn’t say it was her favorite thing. She wasn’t a fan of the mosquitos and such. But she was a big climber, or scampering. That’s probably the right word. That girl, she’d see a big rock, and just…” He makes a noise with his mouth indicating that she would bolt right through the trees to climb it, “She woulda liked you and Birdie. Not to say you and Sarah are the same. Definitely different kids.”

Ellie asks, “How so?” Joel glances at her and says, “Well, she was a lot more, I wanna say girly. And I’m not sayin’ you’re not girly.” She shakes her head, “I’m not.” Joel agrees, “Yeah, you’re not. So that. She was taller. She had a killer smile. Again, not sayin’ that you don’t. But you know why I’d think she’d like you?” Ellie indulges him, “Why?” The answer was so simple, quick, and witty, Joel says, “‘Cause you’re funny. I think you would’ve made her laugh. Anyway, I bet you would’ve liked her back.” The teen next to you agrees, “Yeah, bet I would’ve.”

Eventually, you make it to the edge of the mountain top, looking over the view of the community of Jackson, and it is absolutely breathtaking. The breeze causes your skin to form goosebumps, and feel the tickle of the wind behind your neck. Joel takes a breath and says, “There ya go. Not much further now.” He continues walking and you start to follow but notice Ellie standing back, she calls out to him, “Hey, wait.” He stops and turns to face her, she curses, “Fuck.” Then takes a few steps closer to him, “Back in Kansas City, you asked me about the first time I killed someone. When I got bit in the mall, I wasn’t on my own. My best friend was there and she got bit, too.” Her admission causes her to falter a little bit before she says, “We don’t know what to do, and she says, ‘We can just wait it out, be all poetic and just lose our mind together. And then she did. And I had to… Her name was Riley and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam.”

You and Joel shook your heads, “That’s not on you,” he said and she tries to argue, “I know…” He cuts her off, “Look, sometimes things don’t work out the way we hope. You can feel like you’ve come to an end and you don’t know what to do next. But if you just keep goin’ you find somethin’ new to fight for. And maybe that’s not what…” Abruptly, Ellie speaks up, “Swear to me. Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true.” Joel doesn’t hesitate as he lies, unblinking as he replies, “I swear.” She doesn’t believe him. She knows he’s not telling the truth. But she nods, and says “Okay.”

You hold his hand in support, and then it's just too much, to know that the streets still run with blood. So he tries to push it down, but it comes back faster and harder, tides are changing on a dime. And he’s just trying to keep his head above the water. Surrender's just a word, till you try it out and see how hard it is to hurt with someone else around, you. He’s the worst he’s ever been afraid of almost everything. The skies are clear but storms are always coming. Your gift to him is just to be bracing for the winds he always summons. His home, his heart, thank God you are someone who loves him.

End Notes:

Holy shit this took WAY LONGER THAN EXPECTED THATS ON MEEEE IM SO SORRYYYYY!

ARE YOU OKAY?? GIRLIE YOU GOOD? THIS NEEDS EDITING LATER BUT I HOPE YOU ARE ALL WELL AND YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER! DRINK WATER! BREATHE!

Its was an ACCIDENT! I established in Chapter 1 that it was all vague and a mystery woOOoo bcs uhhh I don’t think I was supposed to already give that question an answer in the beginning of the series cuz why the heck would u still read this T^T Alsoooo cause you did trYYYyyy to but couldn’t (I.e Tess, Sam and Henry, you voicing out your protests to Kathleen, etc.) And as if you had any other option but to go with Joel, Ellie, and Tess to survive yk the Infected :,))

CONGRATS U MADE IT AND OMG YOU LITERALLY HAD THE CHOICE TO GO BACK TO YOUR OLD UNIVERSE BUT YOU STAYEDDD FOR LOVEEEEE HEHEHEHEH

The Birdie had bits and pieces of what happens in the game, and sHE TRIED TO SAVE THE DAMN SURGEON, but obviously, homie got shot in the head :)) So now she has to figure out a way to stop Abby without having the whole story OR INFOOOOO YAYYYYY

Even though you tried to tell him not to kill Marlene or the Doctor, that it would be the cause of his death. But he still did anyway, a choice that was already made the moment you both were ripped away from him. He was disassociating :,) which I relate to Joel bb

OKAY I MIGHT WRITE AN EPILOGUE BUT LOWKEY LET ME TAKE A NAP CUZ I’VE BEEN WRITING FOR ALMOST TWO DAYS STRAIGHT WITH NO COFFEE O_O

Anyways… AHEM… I LOVE ALL OF YOU SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH! LIKE YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I give you hugs and kisses, and cookies for being so incredibly patient and sticking with me for my first-ever multi-chapter fic. CRAZYYYY.

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